Fall Brawl 2000
Date: September 17, 2000
Location: HSBC Arena, Buffalo, New York
Attendance: 8,638
Commentators: Scott Hudson, Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden

This should be an interesting show as I can barely remember what’s going on with the card. However, I can remember that Vince Russo had a huge gimmick match built around him with a big SWERVE that no one (NO ONE) saw coming in a one off show. Other than that we have Kevin Nash defending against Booker T. in a cage, which certainly doesn’t feel like a step down after the big cage match about two weeks ago. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look at the double main event, as partially reenacted by action figures. Well that’s certainly different. I’m not sure it’s a good idea but it’s definitely a different one.

Cruiserweight Title: Kwee Wee vs. Elix Skipper

Kwee Wee is defending after winning a match a few weeks back, despite having no interaction with Skipper that I’ve seen in the ensuing shows. Skipper tries to dance with Gunns during the entrance as Hudson drools over her in the maple leaf top. Kwee Wee loads him up for a slam but drops Skipper face first instead in a unique move. An armbar has Skipper in trouble and a USA chant starts up. No wonder Buffalo sends the Bills to Toronto every once in awhile.

Back up and Skipper forearms Kwee Wee in the back of the head as we can see the ridiculous amount of glitter all over Gunns’ back. Skipper flips over Kwee Wee and gets two off a dragon suplex. Gunns plays cheerleader as Kwee Wee fights out of a chinlock, causing Madden to go on another tirade.

In one of the worst spots I’ve seen in a long time, Kwee Wee hits a cross body but Skipper stays on his feet and drops Kwee Wee out to the floor, only to get his balance and then fall out as well because he forgot to fall at the same time. Skipper makes up for it with a top rope Asai Moonsault which knocks out a cameraman for that always cool looking crash. Back in and Kwee Wee counters the Overdrive into a layout powerbomb for two of his own.

Cue the Thrillers, who really have no reason to be involved in this match. Skipper is thrown over the top and out to the floor with his knee crashing into the barricade. As the referee checks on him, Mike Sanders sneaks in and blasts Kwee Wee in the leg with a stick ball bat for no logical reason. Back in and a chop block sets up the Overdrive to retain Skipper’s title.

Rating: C. Illogical ending aside, this wasn’t the worst opener in the world. Kwee Wee is now a face just because, but someone with his charisma probably deserves to be in a higher spot on the card. Skipper is an athletic freak but there’s only so much of a character for him. Not much to see here though as the Cruiserweight Title has just died in recent months.

The announcers run down the card with Madden saying Goldberg vs. Steiner is going to go off like a prom dress. There is WAY too much emphasis on teenage sex in 2000 WCW.

3 Count vs. Misfits in Action

Cajun/Loco/A-Wall here. We get a little I Can’t Get You Out Of My Heart before the match, which I believe is a bonus. Hudson: “Helen Keller, big 3 Count fan.” Loco and Shannon get things going and this actually has potential. Loco chops him up against the ropes before grabbing a good looking wheelbarrow suplex. It’s off to Cajun for a flapjack on Karagias before it’s off to Wall, who presses Helms into a spinebuster (cool move) for two.

Karagias trips Cajun up though, allowing a fireman’s carry/neckbreaker combination to get two more as the heels take over. It’s Cajun as the face in peril with Shannon getting two off a Fameasser. A cross body/suplex gets the same and Evan drops a top rope elbow for another near fall. Shannon gets two off a top rope splash but misses another splash in the corner, allowing the hot tag off to Wall for some house cleaning.

Everything breaks down and Shannon takes Cajun out with a springboard flip dive. Karagias drops Loco and Cajun with a dive of his own but A-Wall breaks up a dive, only to get dropkicked through the table. Shane superkicks Evan by mistake and Shannon dives into a powerbomb for two. A double DDT gets two more on Loco but Wall makes the save, allowing Cajun to hit the Whiplash for the pin on Shane.

Rating: B. I know this really should be obvious but it’s amazing how much fun it is to watch a good wrestling match between talented guys. There’s no big angle here or some crazy story. Instead it’s just three heels and three heroes having a wrestling match and entertaining the fans. In other words, it’s the best thing this company has done in months. Just let the talented guys wrestle and it’s going to work.

Earlier today, Nash wouldn’t sign an autograph for a kid. Why this kid was backstage when the wrestlers arrived isn’t explained of course, but I’m thinking his parents should be punished for letting him see such a horror show.

There are more and more empty seats opposite the hard camera after every match. That’s sad to see. Understandable, but sad.

Harris Brothers vs. Kronik

It’s a chain match but Adams wants to make it first blood because Heaven forbid either team takes a fall. It’s a brawl to start (duh) with Adams working over Don inside. The guys are chained together here, which is probably better than watching them try to work a regular tag match. Everyone heads into the crowd as Tony asks how the referee is supposed to know who bleeds first. Well, he could watch on the big screen like most of the fans have to, but maybe he gets some special privilege because he works here.

Adams and Don come back to ringside with the latter going face first into the steps. Their partners are back a few seconds later, including Don screaming at some fans for some of the only heel action you’ll see around here. The referee gets bumped because A FIRST BLOOD CHAIN MATCH NEEDS A FREAKING REF BUMP.

Adams beats on Don (as the announcers change which Harris is with which Kronik guy, though it’s about as important as which Uso is which) and busts him open. Madden: “THAT’S GRAPE JUICE!” Hudson: “Did he get his period for Pete’s sake???” Ron gets the ball bat with a chain wrapped around it to bust Adams open as the referee wakes up, giving the Twins the win.

Rating: D. I’d like to emphasize that these four can’t even have a clean finish in a first blood chain match. Do you really need to protect one of the most dominant tag teams in years with two gimmicks in one match? It’s really that bad in WCW these days? Nothing to see here, but at least it was short.

Rection promises to win the title back for America today. This match is dedicated to Jim Duggan, who just happens to be here as guest enforcer. Just turn him heel already.

US Title: General Rection vs. Lance Storm

Storm is defending, Major Gunns is on the line as a bonus and Duggan is guest enforcer. Before the match, Storm says he’s so close yet so far from home. After tonight, everyone is welcome to join him in Ontario for Nitro tonight night. Duggan finally comes out and you can see the second shirt underneath his referee shirt so just get to the screwjob already so Tony can call it unthinkable.

Rection’s Samoan Drop gets no cover but Storm sends him into the corner for a breather. A nice superkick gets two for the champ and they head outside where Duggan mimes shooting Storm with the 2×4. Back in and Rection shrugs off the attacks on the knee before sending Storm flying off a German suplex. It’s time for No Laughing Matter but of course Duggan hits Rection with the board, setting up the Maple Leaf to retain the title.

Rating: D. Mike Tenay, Gene Okerlund, Miss Elizabeth and now Jim Duggan. In other words, take whatever characters have worked so well over the years and turn them all around because Vince Russo and company have decided that this is the way things really should go. Again, there was no shock here when you had Duggan as the guest enforcer for no logical reason and introduced him on Monday for the sake of this one match.

The Thrillers almost get in a fight with Gene (who did threaten to have “people” break O’Haire’s kneecaps) and promises to beat up something made of Cheese-Whiz.

Natural Born Thrillers vs. Filthy Animals/Paul Orndorff/Big Vito

It’s….uh….honestly I’m not sure who all is in this match. There are a bunch of people standing on the floor because the aprons are full. Konnan was too injured to wrestle on Thunder but he’s in the ring here while Stasiak is on the floor. Orndorff is a mystery partner to freak the Thrillers out in an idea that always works.

Jindrak slams Rey around to start as Hudson talks about Disqo costing the Animals the Tag Team Titles. I can’t think of a joke to cover up the fact that Thunder was non-title and the Animals have the title belts and were flashing them all over the place during the entrances. Hudson really is just that dumb. Juvy comes in and gets beaten down by Jindrak and O’Haire before it’s off to Disqo for the sake kind of beating. Konnan gets the tag and punches Sean a few times until O’Haire takes over again. We get some miscommunication from the Animals that leads to Disqo Stunning Konnan for the first elimination.

It’s off to Johnny the Bull vs. Disqo with Johnny jumping from the mat to the apron with no hands, only to miss a legdrop. Amazing athleticism but not the smartest guy. Disqo’s partners won’t tag in though, allowing Reno to Roll the Dice for the elimination. Vito comes in and Mafia Kicks Reno before hitting the Vito Special (spinning lifting DDT) for two on Palumbo.

We get back to Vito vs. Reno with the former grabbing the stick ball bat, only to get blasted with a kendo stick from the apron. Another Roll the Dice gets rid of Vito and we’re down to the full Thrillers vs. Orndorff/Juvy/Rey/Tygress. Ok so it was seven on seven? Tony: “It’s six on two! If you count Orndorff, six on three!” Well three Animals have been eliminated and the Animals are at full strength so the match started at six on six? Juvy and Reno are in now with the champ (yes Hudson, he’s still a champion) getting in a dropkick to take over. The Juvy Driver on Reno sets up the Nutcracker Sweet to get rid of Reno.

Jindrak/O’Haire get in to fight Rey/Juvy with the champs in trouble as Rey is sent outside. Juvy tries to dive on the Thrillers on the floor, only to get caught in midair and sent thrown back inside. The Seanton Bomb eliminates Juvy and the announcers say that Orndorff is left, despite Rey not being eliminated and Tygress getting on the apron. Orndorff finally comes in and cleans house until Johnny hits him in the back with the kendo stick. That goes nowhere though as Orndorff grabs the piledriver to get rid of Johnny.

Jindrak misses a charge in the corner and Orndorff drops Sean with a knee lift. Another piledriver plants Mark….and Orndorff isn’t moving. Sean gets a quick cover for the pin as we’ve clearly got an injury here. Tygress gives Jindrak a Bronco Buster as Orndorff hasn’t moved. Rey and Tygress beat up the Thrillers like the goons they are as Orndorff is at least moving his arms. The match is FINALLY thrown out because of Orndorff.

Rating: D+. The ending hut it a lot but at the same time I really had no idea who was in the match at any given time. The Thrillers cleaned house at times but it’s a bad sign when you forget who is still in the match and who isn’t. Orndorff was the highlight of the match as he knew how to get around the Thrillers because he trained them, even if the announcers never actually brought it up.

Orndorff is put in a neck brace as the show basically stops.

Kidman and Madusa call Torrie a lot of bad names and promise to send her and Shane flying off the scaffold. Madusa is WAY more fired up than she should be here.

Madusa/Kidman vs. Torrie Wilson/Shane Douglas

The scaffold is on the stage and rises up to save some time. Shane runs his mouth to fill in some time before hand, only to remind us of his promise to refund everyone’s money if his team loses. The rules here are you have to crawl across and get down the other side to win. Not send your opponents flying as everyone talked about, but just crawl across and climb down. Thankfully the scaffold is significantly wider than most instances with probably five to six feet from side to side. Tony to Madden: “Get your jokes out now so I can hype this up a bit.”

Shane and Kidman argue over how high the scaffold goes as you might expect them to do. The women fight at one end and for some reason Madusa doesn’t just bunch Torrie in the face and climb down to win. Instead Madusa goes after Shane and tries to kick him over the middle, only to be pulled into the STF. Kidman makes the save but gets powerslammed, allowing the women to go to different ends of the scaffold. Shane hits the Franchiser as Madusa’s leg gets caught in the ladder. Well of course she does.

Shane goes over and kicks her in the head for the crash onto the VERY soft pad to end this mess. Wait that’s not it? So you still have to climb down? What happens if everyone falls off? Does the match continue until they get out of traction and climb up and down again? Torrie hits Kidman low and Shane throws him down through another crash pad We’re STILL not done as they have to climb down to win. What a stupid set of rules.

Rating: F. What more do you want me to say here? They gave away the ending and the whole thing was on a scaffold. At least they had a setup where the fans could see what was going on, but this was so stupid on almost every level. It’s a bad gimmick that has worked all of once ever (maybe) and now we have this mess, which comes ten minutes after a legitimate injury.

The “match” goes on for about a minute and a half extra as they climb down.

Jeff Jarrett, in a Buffalo Bills jersey to tick off the local crowd, jumps Sting from behind because he’s getting the title shot on Nitro.

And now, a segment with Mike Tenay going to David Flair’s house for an interview. Tenay says he’s all alone, minus the cameraman and probably a producer of course. David’s house is a disaster with pizza, beer and newspapers everywhere. Tenay brings up the father of the baby so David freaks out because it might be his eleven year old brother Reid. That goes nowhere so Tenay suggests Ric, only to have David freak out and attack his mailman. Thankfully there was a cameraman waiting by David’s mailbox to see David put him in the Figure Four. David then runs down the street.

Vampiro vs. Great Muta vs. Sting

PLEASE let this be the grand finale. The Clowns take over commentary for what should be hilarious. Vampiro and Sting fight in the aisle until the Grand Poobah comes out to attack Chickenwing (oh yeah they’re on fire tonight). They head into the crowd for a bit with the Clowns switching between Gray Tuna and talking about Sting’s spandex pants. Shaggy: “The Winger was trained by a speckled belly octopus.”.

They get back inside with Muta standing around and watching as Sting beats on Vampiro. Some spinning kicks from Muta set up a top rope clothesline from Vampiro as the announcers want to see the patented Pickle Pinch. The moonsault gets two on Sting but the Clowns have to break up a fight between Muta and Vampiro. Sting cleans house with a ball bat (Hudson: “That’s clown abuse”) and Death Drops Muta for the pin.

Rating: F. Other than the commentary, this was another disaster as this feud has gone nowhere but just continues for whatever reason. Sting has no character at this point other than “he’s Sting” and that’s nowhere near enough for an old veteran who is supposed to be some kind of a big prize for Vampiro to beat. This was Muta’s last TV match and I don’t think he’s going to be missed. That’s not a knock on him as his in ring work has been fine enough, but sweet goodness this story has been horrible.

Sting saves Muta from a post match beatdown.

Earlier tonight, Mike Awesome offered to make whoopee (his words) with Pamela. Awesome’s surprise for Jarrett tonight: Gary Coleman.

Mike Awesome vs. Jeff Jarrett

Bunkhouse Brawl, meaning hardcore. Jarrett yells at some of the Buffalo Bills on his way to the ring where the weapons are already set up. Jeff rants about the Bills losing to the Titans last year in the NFL playoffs, which took place about nine months before this show. Now we get on to Awesome, who Jeff guarantees a beating. Hudson: “NOT WITH GARY COLEMAN YOU’RE NOT!”

Thankfully Awesome comes out in regular gear but somehow doesn’t see the professional wrestler in a football jersey coming after him. Mike chokes him with a noose so Jeff beats on him with a broom. A chair duel goes badly for Jarrett and Awesome blasts him over the back a few times. Hudson talks about making Mike the Career Killing 70s Fat Chick Thriller to put all three gimmicks in one. Back in and the Super Awesome Bomb is countered with a backdrop through a table as this is getting more and more like ECW every day.

Awesome whips him into the barbed wire board twice in a row and a pop up sitout powerbomb gets two on Jarrett. Of course he pops right back up and taunts the Bills even more, drawing them over the barricade to get on the apron. The Bills get in a few shots and the Awesome Bomb gets two. The referee FINALLY gets the Bills off the apron so the fans can see, only to have Gary Coleman run in to break up a guitar shot with a low blow. That earns Coleman a guitar shot but now Sting runs in for a Death Drop to give Awesome the pin.

Rating: D. It took the Buffalo Bills, Gary Coleman and Sting to allow Awesome to get the pin. This is the definition of a match where the writers just threw together whatever nonsense they could come up with and had fun instead of trying to entertain people. The thing makes sense (if you have enough hard booze handy) but it’s WAY overdone to accomplish anything. At least Awesome won though.

We recap Scott Steiner vs. Goldberg which started when Goldberg walked out on the match at New Blood Rising, only to have Steiner beat up Goldberg’s girlfriend. None of this was mentioned for the two weeks before the match because the story stopped mattering once the match was set up, as is so often the case around here.

Steiner shouts that he’ll win.

Goldberg vs. Scott Steiner

No DQ of course. Steiner puts on a black mask and stalls a bit at the bell. Back in and Goldberg scores with a flying shoulder, followed by a gorilla press into a powerslam for two. It’s time to start the heavy brawling as the announcers say this has been going for five minutes (we’re approaching two). Back in and Goldberg runs him over again but the banged up arm slows Goldberg down.

The spear mostly hits the buckle but he’s still able to catch Steiner diving off the top in a powerslam, complete with a pause where Goldberg pulls him out of the air before slamming him. Cue the returning Midajah with a pipe but Steiner is fine enough to tie Goldberg in the Tree of Woe for some chairs to the ribs. The bloody Goldberg is thrown down with a suplex as Hudson can’t remember what Goldberg did to put Midajah through a table. As in he can’t remember THE ONE MOVE that Goldberg uses to finish people.

The pipe is knocked away with a spear but here’s Russo to break up the Jackhammer with a baseball bat shot. Steiner slams Goldberg through a table and Russo celebrates like he did it himself. There’s the Recliner but Goldberg does the slow crawl to the ropes, even though there was almost no pull on the hold.

An electric chair really breaks the hold but Midajah and Russo hit Goldberg with their objects, setting up a belly to belly superplex from Steiner. Back to the Recliner and the thing looks SO bad with Steiner really just putting his hands on Goldberg’s chin and not touching the arms. That swinging neckbreaker puts Scott down but he hits Goldberg with the pipe and puts the Recliner on for the third time for the knockout.

Rating: B-. This was fun (horrible finishing move aside) and it kept Goldberg looking strong while also making Steiner look like the killer they needed him to be. It was all about two guys beating the heck out of each other for about thirteen minutes, though I really could have gone without Russo being in there to screw things up, though to be fair it’s his company and vanity project at this point so it’s understandable.

The villains celebrate and Russo takes his shirt off to really make it special.

We recap Booker vs. Nash, with the latter turning heel to steal the title, which he decided he wanted for a change. Russo rigged things and decided that HIS Kevin Nash was going to take the title. The evil plan actually worked and tonight it’s the rematch inside a cage.

Booker says he’s here for revenge because if you don’t start none, there won’t be none.

WCW World Title: Booker T. vs. Kevin Nash

Nash is defending inside a regular cage. Madden asks if it’s harder to win a title the first time or get it back. Hudson: “I’ve never held a World Championship.” Given that it’s Hudson, I take that to mean he’s won at least six of them. Booker goes after the arm to start without any real success as the announcers talk about switching from the big cage to the regular version. That’s really not something you hear very often. Nash clotheslines him down as we’re told that Orndorff has a stinger but he’s talking and has feeling in all limbs.

A turnbuckle gets ripped off but Booker slams him down to take over again. The Bookend is broken up though and Nash plants him with a chokeslam for a delayed two. Booker sends the champ face first into the exposed buckle to draw some blood, followed by the missile dropkick getting two more. A low blow puts Booker down and there’s the big boot to the face. The Jackknife is broken up and the Bookend gives Booker the title back.

Rating: D. This is the definition of “well that happened.” There was zero need for this to be in the cage as it didn’t change anything and felt like a dark match instead of something that you needed to see. Booker getting the title back is fine and the pin was clean so it’s much better than some insane fall that takes a million angles to achieve. Not a good match or anything close to one, but a good result.

Overall Rating: C-. The key to this show is simple: they’re slowing down on some things and not having a million angles in every match. The main event was clean, a lot of the midcard stuff was clean and most of the interference made sense. That’s the big difference here: you don’t want to have interference for the sake of interference because it takes away from the moments where it’s needed. Goldberg vs. Steiner for instance had interference that made sense and it was more effective as a result.

However, there’s still a lot wrong here. There are WAY too many gimmick matches or matches where the gimmicks take away from what’s going on otherwise. For instance, look at the elimination tag. Did you really need to have EVERYONE in there or could it have been cut down to say, four on four? The biggest thing that WCW can’t understand is that sometimes, less is more. It’s ok to have a wrestling match for the sake of having a wrestling match and to just let it go where it goes without five plot devices along the way.

Overall, this is the best pay per view they’ve done in a long time because they’re getting closer to having a balance between the insanity and an actual show. The show is still far from actually good, but at least they’re not making me spend an hour going on about how horrible the show was or how it broke the rules of wrestling. Somehow, that’s a major step forward for them, which is really sad to think about.

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Thunder
Date: September 13, 2000
Location: Civic Center, Roanoke, Virginia
Commentators: Stevie Ray, Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay

It’s the final show before Fall Brawl and as usual they’re having issues setting up the pay per view because the bigger priority is building up the TV shows. Monday saw Scott Steiner attach Goldberg to a bus which didn’t work because that’s the kind of thing you set up and blow off in all of a minute. Let’s get to it.

We open with Miss Jones on the phone with Cat, who is assured that everything is fine. Cue Jarrett to take the phone and say not quite before kidnapping Jones. As usual, women are objects and plot devices on these shows.

David Flair is freaking out about the idea that various men might be the father of the baby. Does David actually wrestle anymore? I can’t remember the last match he actually had.

Here are Nash, Jarrett and Steiner to open things up. Nash brags about making the fans buy into the swerve on Monday and I have issues remembering which one it was. They tend to run together when you have one every single week. He’s also ready for the cage match on Sunday, which they haven’t exactly given a ton of focus. Steiner brags about having sex with a lot of women and talks about how big his arms are. Jeff makes Jones lay down (shocking) for a five count and threatens a guitar shot.

This brings out the recently arrived Cat along with Booker, the latter of whom gives out his lame catchphrases. Cat makes a tag match for later with Nash/Steiner vs. Cat/Booker where whoever gets the fall gets the title. Jarrett only gets Sting, which prompts Jeff to guitar Dave Penzer for whatever reason.

Disqo has booked the Filthy Animals in a non-title match against Kronik and the Harris Brothers. Why he would do that isn’t exactly clear, but he thinks it could get them the #1 ranking in WOW Magazine.

Thunder Tailgate Party video.

An angry Mike Awesome arrives. I’d be mad too. He’s in a leisure suit and Justin Credible is the top heel in ECW.

Disqo has also booked himself and Konnan against Jindrak/O’Haire, but Konnan isn’t clear to wrestle. Therefore, Tygress is getting the spot. Well of course she is.

Mark Jindrak/Sean O’Haire vs. Disqo Inferno/Tygress

Before the match, Sanders introduces Johnny the Bull as the newest Thriller. Johnny really enjoyed beating Vito down and is horrible at this whole talking thing. Disqo starts with Sean and thankfully the rookie cleans his clock, which unfortunately means it’s off to Tygress, drawing a big rant from Tenay about how women don’t belong here. That’s just so against anything he’s said for years and really comes off as the writers not knowing how character development works. You don’t just slap characteristics on people and assume they work.

The Thrillers literally throw Tygress back and forth in the air as Disqo runs off to get help. You know, instead of helping himself. Jindrak tries to give Tygress a Bronco Buster but that’s a bit too much even for WCW, so she hits a Bronco Buster of her own. That earns her a sitout powerbomb, followed by the Seanton Bomb for the pin. Total squash of course.

The Animals finally come back out (why they weren’t there in the first place isn’t clear) but get beaten down by the Thrillers.

David beats up a referee for suggesting that he’d brag about sleeping with Ms. Hancock.

Team Canada teaches Major Gunns to speak Canadian. I think you can write the jokes yourselves, even though Storm really wouldn’t seem likely to do something like that.

Sting is annoyed at not being in the main event recently as even he’s forgotten WarGames. Therefore, he’d like a title shot against Booker on Nitro if Booker gets the title back. That’s rather forward of him.

Disqo has to defend himself from the Animals blaming him for the loss.

It’s time for the Lava Lamp Lounge with special guest Major Gunns. So if Storm didn’t let her out there, would he really just have screwed up the entire segment? That’s not the nicest way to help international relations. Awesome gets straight to hitting on her as Gunns goes on a rant about how much she hates being around Lance Storm. Mike suggests a massage so here’s Team Canada for the brawl with Awesome throwing Skipper around with ease.

Cue the MIA to say Gunns needs to come back home. Storm agrees and offers a tag match with Duggan/Rection vs. Team Canada with Gunns on the line. What’s in it for the Canadians isn’t clear but they’re kind of odd at times. That’s it for the show but a janitor lays out Awesome and of course it’s Jarrett. Much like the other major matches, I’m not entirely sure why they’re fighting at this point or why we’re going to see them in a hardcore match but I’m sure a guy dressing up as a janitor and breaking a guitar over a 70s enthusiast in a leisure suit who hits on every woman he can find will sell itself.

More Tailgate Party stuff.

Rection asks Duggan to be his partner in the tag match later. Dang it’s lucky that Duggan was just sitting there in case someone needed a tag match for AMERICA.

Steiner and Nash charge a kid $60 for a picture with Steiner covering the kid’s face. Simple idea but kind of a needless segment.

Here are Shane and Torrie (good night) to talk about how awesome the mixed tag scaffold match is going to be. Unfortunately he spoils it by promising everyone a full refund if his team loses. This brings out Madusa and Billy Kidman because we’re getting a preview right now.

Shane Douglas/Torrie Wilson vs. Madusa/Billy Kidman

Shane takes Madusa to the mat with a lot less difficulty than he should have but Kidman is chasing Torrie around, drawing Shane to the floor for a save. That’s already enough as the match is thrown out in a hurry, so at least they didn’t waste much of Sunday’s THRILLING scaffold match.

Kidman goes after Torrie again and knocks her over a balcony, giving us the most obvious action movie shot I’ve ever seen in wrestling with Torrie hanging off a balcony to save herself. Just go make B movies already as it’s clear what they want to do.

Post break, Kidman and Madusa rant about the scaffold match.

Your weekly sitdown interview is with Ric Flair and it’s fully storyline stuff here with the first questions being about the wedding and Hancock’s announcement. Ric talks about how screwy things have been lately due to the efforts of Vince Russo but then they were in an arena for a wedding to a great woman. He and David bonded again and Ric had everything he wanted again. Tenay doesn’t seem to buy this but Ric isn’t going to be intimidated. “You’re not talking to Midajah here.”

Ric lists off some of the people he’s wrestled and doesn’t like the idea that Tenay stopped after the 1980s. That brings Tenay back to Ric vs. Russo, who got the better of Ric. For some reason Tenay doesn’t buy that but Ric says he’s out of the business because he lost a match where his career was on the line. It was Ric’s fault that he brought his family on TV and let Russo get under his skin but Russo is a snake. Tenay flat out asks if Ric is the father of Hancock’s baby and that’s the end of the interview with Ric walking off after saying Tenay is just like Russo. Well that’s quite the insult.

I really do not want to know where this story was going to go, but the more I think about it, the more I think it was likely to be Russo. Why not? He’s gotten the better of the Flair’s every single time so why not let him do that too? I mean, he can destroy Ric’s career and take over his family so why not have him impregnate one of the most beautiful women in the world too?

Fit Finlay tells David to calm down with all of the questions about who is the father. Why in the world is Finlay not in the ring either?

Jeff Jarrett vs. Sting

This is now 2/3 falls, which could make for a good match if they don’t screw the whole thing up. While Sting is on the way to the ring, Tony brags about Nitro’s ratings from the previous night. As in the 3.2 they got, down from the 3.6 the previous week. Before the match, Jeff tells Sting to forget about the title match because Nash is keeping the title. Instead Sting offers to make this a #1 contenders match, again because they just can. Sting takes him down to start as Stevie talks about Wahoo McDaniel.

The announcers actually bring up Sting vs. Vampiro vs. Muta on Sunday, which is indeed a match despite the lack of discussion over the last few months. A running clothesline puts Jarrett on the floor and it’s time to go to the announcers’ table. Stevie: “THIS IS THE ONLY TABLE WE GOT! WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS COMING OVER HERE???” Sting suplexes him up by the stage but Jeff stomps away back inside.

Some clotheslines set up a top rope splash for two on Jeff but the referee gets bumped, setting up a low blow and the Stroke to give Jarrett the first fall. Jeff throws him to the floor but gets caught in a quick sunset flip for the pin to tie it up. The third fall starts with an awkward grappling exchange, followed by the traditional trading of the sleepers. Jeff suplexes out of Sting’s version but gets knocked down, setting up Sting’s falling headbutt.

Back up and Jeff pulls the referee in the way of the Stinger Splash. This brings out a second and Jeff pulls him in the way as well but Sting doesn’t jump. Instead David Flair comes out to hit the referee with a broom stick for his earlier comments, meaning there’s no one to see Jarrett tap to the Deathlock. Not that it matters as Sting tells the timekeeper to ring the bell to end the match.

Rating: C+. This was working until the goofy ending but at least they didn’t screw it up too badly. As usual, Jarrett is at his best when he has someone to carry him to a good match and Sting, despite not being anywhere near his peak anymore, was still one of the better workers on the roster. If nothing else it was nice to see a match get some time for a change and it helped a lot.

The Misfits don’t have much to say.

Kronik vs. Filthy Animals vs. Harris Brothers

Non-title with Disqo on commentary. It’s a brawl between the big guys to start as the Animals just kind of stand back and watch. To be fair they’re above this kind of a match anyway. We settle down to Don hitting Clark low to take over inside but Adams makes the save when the Twins try to use a chain. The Animals get bored of waiting and dropkick Don right into High Times for the quick pin.

Rating: D. As usual, there really wasn’t much of a point to this and the champions, who are fighting the Thrillers on Sunday in a match that is barely getting any mention, were just there. However you can’t do the Twins vs. Kronik here because they’re doing it on Sunday. Why not do something like a singles ma……egads the thought of either Twin vs. Adams or Clark gave me a chill.

Post match the Twins beat Kronik down with a ball bat wrapped in a chain.

Here’s David Flair with something to say. He’s proud that his dad called him a man but at the same time he needs to find out what happened with Stacy and the father of the baby. This brings out Miss Hancock but before anything can be said, it’s Arn Anderson out to interrupt. David needs to chill because women are like buses: they come around every twenty minutes. That’s quite the public transportation system. Right now, all that matters is Stacy knowing who the father is, and Anderson hopes she does.

Jim Duggan is out cold underneath the American flag. I smell collusion.

Team Canada vs. General Rection

No Duggan so only Rection comes out to interrupt the Canadian national anthem. Rection goes after both of them to start before the bell and runs them over just like every hero does in the early stages of a handicap match. Skipper finally takes over with a springboard spinwheel kick though and the heels start in on the ribs to take over.

It’s off to Storm for some elbows to the ribs and that awesome dropkick of his for two. A kick to the face staggers Storm but Skipper gets in a knee to the back, setting up the Maple Leaf. Cue Duggan on a crutch (but no bandage on the head) but he can’t get out in time, meaning Rection taps out.

Rating: D+. Storm’s dropkick was great as always but it’s just not enough to make up for the fact that we’re supposed to get behind a guy named General Rection. Also make sure to ignore the fact that Duggan retired on Monday and is supposed to be back in action with no real explanation two days later. As usual, the wrestlers’ statements mean nothing and we’re supposed to ignore the continuity issues.

Post break, Rection wants a match on Sunday for Gunns and the title. I have no idea why the Canadians would agree with that but as usual, they never actually seem to make sense.

WCW World Title: Kevin Nash/Scott Steiner vs. Booker T./The Cat

Nash is defending but anyone can win the title by getting the fall. It’s a brawl to start until Booker and Steiner officially get things going. Nash has to break up an early ax kick attempt so Steiner hits Cat with the title. In theory that should be a DQ but that’s not how WCW works at this point.

Cat pops up way too fast so Nash belts him down again, allowing the villains to take turns on Booker. I really have no idea why you would tag out here but logic isn’t the strongest point in this company. A double clothesline and big boot drop Booker twice in a row before a belly to belly gets two. There’s the Recliner to Booker with Nash making the save, only to have Goldberg come out on a motorcycle for a spear on Steiner, drawing the dreaded no contest to end the show.

Rating: D. Yeah as usual there’s only so much you can do here with a gimmick where it’s pretty clear they’re not switching the title and we’re just waiting on the screwy finish. Goldberg coming in was fine and actually shows a little focus on their match instead of having Steiner chain him to a bus for all of ten seconds or whatever that mess was on Monday.

Overall Rating: D. Nitro and Thunder are in an interesting place right now. The Monday show is a complete train wreck with the focus being on Russo despite him not being there and so many ideas floating around that I forget where the show even started. On the other hand, Thunder is a more coherent show but almost none of it feels like it’s tying in to the main storylines.

That being said, Thunder is the easier show to sit through as it’s not quite as insane, but much like a modern day Smackdown, you lose nothing if you don’t watch it. Fall Brawl is going to be interesting, as if nothing else I can watch the show and find out all the matches on the show because the TV leading up to it has been such a wild mess that I’ve kind of forgotten.

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Monday Nitro #257
Date: September 11, 2000
Location: Independence Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Mark Madden, Tony Schiavone, Jeremy Borash

It’s the go home show for Fall Brawl and we’re now back to the build for the pay per view after last week’s stand alone WarGames (in name only) show. Unfortunately that leaves the whole card starting from a dead end as last week had nothing to do with Booker vs. Nash or Steiner vs. Goldberg. Instead, we have a big story of David Flair marrying Miss Hancock and a possible Ric Flair appearance in another stand alone story. Let’s get to it.

David arrived earlier and Crowbar, Ozzy and Daffney greeted him to bury the hatchet. No sign of Ric though.

Jeff Jarrett thinks he should offer some entertainment for the wedding.

Opening sequence.

The arena lighting seems dark, probably to hide a low attendance.

Tag Team Titles: Filthy Animals vs. Kronik

Rey and Juvy are defending. Before the match, Disqo runs his mouth and ticks Kronik off even more after the Animals were laid out on Thunder. It’s a brawl to start as Konnan talks about throwing Rey in quicksand. We settle down to Adams pounding Juvy in the corner and hitting a quick F5, though the landing looked more like a DDT. Rey gets a blind tag and the Animals actually double suplex Adams. That’s quite the surprise but you can only be so shocked when Konnan is talking about no selling and taking bumps.

Clark comes in and plants Juvy with a full nelson slam but Adams gives Rey an even bigger one. Cue the Harris Twins (of course) for a distraction, allowing Disqo to hit Clark with a chair and give him the Last Dance on the floor. Back in and Juvy’s 450 (he hit the mat first) only gets two. Instead it’s the What’s Up with the legdrop (named the Nutcracker) retains the titles.

Rating: C. Such is life in WCW. I was actually starting to get into this until the Twins came in to screw things up. It’s interference to set up a match that isn’t interesting and most people don’t want to see, but for some reason we’re getting the Harris Twins in the top spot instead of ANYONE else. Also, what was up with wasting the 450 near the end?

Stacy Keibler arrives.

Recap of WarGames, complete with the line of “it’s another Russo swerve!”

Tony promises an update on Vince Russo, who has suffered his third concussion in three months. I understand that concussions are bad, but I’m having issues feeling sorry for Russo when he keeps injecting himself into these big matches. He’s getting all the glory in the matches and that comes with the damage. It’s almost like someone of average size shouldn’t be getting destroyed by people the size of pro wrestlers. Apparently Russo has had to have brain surgery. Tony: “Tonight: a wedding and brain surgery.”

Here’s the Cat to say he’s in charge because Russo’s injunction was thrown out of court. Therefore, Booker vs. Nash on Sunday is now in a cage. As for tonight though, Nash is defending the title against Scott Steiner. That leaves Jeff Jarrett, who Miss Jones wants to fight. Jarrett comes out and promises to win and prove that men are superior to women. He’s even willing to wrestle handcuffed. Cat and Jeff start fighting until Steiner comes out to put Cat in the Recliner.

Booker and Sting (without paint) arrive and don’t seem worried that Steiner and Jarrett are taking over.

Big Vito vs. Reno

Stick ball bat on a pole, which is how things go in the neighborhood apparently. It must be one of the slums of Parts Unknown. Palumbo is here with Reno. Vito starts fast with a Japanese armdrag but has to go after Palumbo. A quick suplex drops Reno but the referee gets bumped. Vito grabs the stick, only to have Reno lay him out with the Roll of the Dice for no count. Cue the returning Johnny the Bull to help stand off with the Thrillers, only to turn on Vito (a full THIRTY SECONDS after coming out to defend him), giving Reno the pin.

The rest of the Thrillers come in to beat Vito down. I can’t get over the fact that this is supposed to be a swerve. It really was just thirty seconds.

Cat yells at Booker and Sting for being late but they leave together.

Steiner/Jarrett/Nash say they’re in charge tonight. Booker/Sting/Cat come in with the latter saying he’s in charge.

Madusa says she doesn’t like the women around here even though she trained them. Therefore, tonight she gets to beat up Torrie Wilson.

Torrie Wilson vs. Madusa

The announcers talk about the history of scaffold matches and we actually get a Jim Cornette reference. Madden: “Cornette fell off the scaffold and ended his career. He just doesn’t know it yet.” Madusa beats on her for about twenty seconds before Shane comes in for the DQ.

Post match Shane puts Madusa in an STF (of course) until Kidman comes in for the save. Yeah these two are feuding in case you forgot. Madusa adds herself and Torrie to make it a tag team scaffold match on Sunday. Did they really forget the lessons from Great American Bash 1991?

Crowbar helps David get ready.

Jimmy Hart hands Miss Hancock an envelope.

Mike Awesome shows up in That 70s Bus.

Nash suggests that Steiner lay down for him tonight.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Miss Jones

Apparently Goldberg is going to be enforcer in the World Title match. Jarrett rants about “broads” thinking they can compete with men in this ring. Remember Jeff is going to wrestle handcuffed. Tony: “That means he can’t use the Stroke or the guitar.” Yeah the guitar is illegal here, meaning it’s legal otherwise. Cat gets in a few cheap shots before the bell and Jones hammers away, only to kick the referee low by mistake. Jeff kicks her in the ribs to break up a guitar shot before knocking her out with it for the pin.

See, if they actually wanted to go with something interesting here, have the trained wrestler Madusa fight Jarrett in what could be an entertaining match. Instead, we get another woman getting beaten up with little to no defense.

Anyway post match, Awesome comes out to beat up the still handcuffed Jarrett.

Nash is drawing his plan on a dry erase board. After some jokes about anatomy, Steiner thinks he should win and throws a marker. Just have them SWERVE us already so they can laugh.

Post break, Jarrett is annoyed at Nash for not coming down to help him (Nash and Steiner had said they were turning off the monitor so it’s not a huge issue). Jarrett tells Nash to deal with their stupid friend.

Here’s Jim Duggan with something to say. Duggan is so thankful to have gotten through cancer and is glad to be back here with the fans. However, in the last few weeks, he’s been realizing that he can’t beat Father Time. He’s been around for twenty years and unlike some people, he’s fine with stepping aside so the young talent can make wrestling into something we can all be proud of.

Duggan announces his retirement before talking about how he needs someone to take up the 2×4 and the American flag. That man is General Rection and there goes the idea. Rection comes out and shakes Duggan’s hand but here are Lance Storm and Major Gunns (now in a Maple Leaf top and white shorts) with the former saying no one cares about this. A non-title match is set up and we’re on.

Lance Storm vs. General Rection

Storm stomps him down to start as Duggan jumps in on commentary to say “come on Hugh.” A suplex brings Rection over the ropes for two but he powerbombs Storm out of the air for two. No Laughing Matter misses and the Maple Leaf goes on but Duggan points out the arm under the ropes. Duggan gets knocked off the apron so he hits Storm with the 2×4, right into a powerslam for the pin. Well at least Duggan didn’t turn on America. That would have been ridiculous.

Stacy opens the letter she got earlier and freaks out.

It’s time for the wedding with the bride and groom down to the ring in a hurry. Naturally we get a promo with David talking about how he’s let a lot of people down. That means he’d like Arn Anderson to come out here right now. Anderson says it might not be today and it might not be tomorrow, but his 21 year old buddies are going to call him and ask him to do something. It’s easier to get forgiveness than permission.

Also hide some of that wedding money because one day you’re going to come home late and she’s going to get mad, but then she’ll tell you to go get a good night’s sleep. When that happens, take that money and RUN. That’s all the advise from Arn, which is a shame because that was hilarious.

David isn’t done yet though as he wants someone special down here as his best man: his dad, Ric Flair. Cue a smiling Ric, now with hair again (though it’s a bit spiky now instead of the classic style). Ric says he’s a proud father tonight and he can’t wait to have this beautiful woman as part of his family in the greatest city in the world. No drama here so it’s time for the wedding.

As the minister goes on, here are a bunch of security guards and cops to arrest Ric. Apparently Vince Russo has taken out a restraining order against him and Ric has to be arrested for coming within 100 feet of this building. Ric is arrested and taken away, sending Stacy running out of the ring. So in other words, even when he’s not here, HAHA MANLY RUSSO WINS!

After a break, Ric is put in a cop car and driven away. Arn promises to bail him out as soon as possible.

The announcers talk and you can see that the entire section off the floor behind the desk is empty. The whole arena only holds 9,600 people and assuming they have most of the fans on one side of the arena, they MIGHT have 2,000 people there.

We see some of Russo’s beatings and now it’s time for the video of his brain surgery. It’s accompanied by a doctor talking about how hard this has been on Russo and how he’ll be out for a long time. You know, because we need to feel sorry for our top heel. Tony doesn’t buy the story so maybe it’s not as stupid as it seems.

Sting vs. Harris Brothers

If Cat is in charge tonight, why did he book Sting like this? The Brothers have chains for whatever reason but Sting hits the Splash and gets Don in the Deathlock in about a minute. Ron makes the save so here’s Kronik with chains of their own to choke out the twins. The beating goes on for a long time and Sting is put on top for the pin. What was the point here? Sting has a match on Sunday but other than a quick mention, this was all about Kronik and the Brothers.

Steiner yells at Jarrett.

Stacy is still freaking out when David comes in. He doesn’t care about anything that happened tonight because he just wants to marry her. Stacy says no but he talks her into it.

It’s time for another try at the wedding with the minister talking about trust. That’s too much for Stacy because, shock and awe, David isn’t the father of the baby. David freaks and Stacy runs off. The announcers find this funny for some reason.

Post break, Stacy jumps in a limo and David can’t get there. We pan over to Awesome escorting Pamela onto the bus until Jarrett lays him out. The Thrillers come in to keep up the beating.

Steiner yells about his freaks and the Earth rotating on a 47 degree axis. He’ll beat on Goldberg too.

The announcers talk again and fans have been moved in to fill in the gap. I’m stunned that the production staff actually pays attention. Or that they exist for that matter.

WCW World Title: Kevin Nash vs. Scott Steiner

Nash is defending, Cat is on commentary, Booker T. is guest referee and Goldberg is enforcer. Before the match, Booker promises to get the title back on Sunday. Steiner (still with a protective mask on) isn’t interested in the fingerpoke so Nash tries to leave. That’s not cool with Scott so they actually start fighting. Nash takes over to start until Steiner scores with a clothesline and the bicep elbow. Booker counts slowly and it’s time to beat up the referee. Goldberg comes in and I’m assuming the match is thrown out somewhere in there.

Another referee tries to come in but gets sent to the floor as Steiner suplexes Goldberg. Booker is down on the floor and Cat stays on commentary as the good guys are beaten down. Cat finally takes a chair away from Steiner, allowing Goldberg to start his comeback. It’s Booker beating on Nash as it’s clear that a tag match would have been a decent idea here.

The other referee is circling this stuff like it’s a match for whatever reason….and here’s That 70s Bus down the aisle. The Thrillers come out and start brawling as well, followed by Jarrett with a pipe. Booker gets powerbombed and thrown through the windshield. Now it’s Goldberg being handcuffed to the front of the bus but he breaks the grill off as we go off the air.

Overall Rating: F. I know I say this a lot but what a mess this was. Sunday’s two big matches were set up a bit but there was just so much other stuff going on that there’s no way to get behind the show. The ending was a disaster and just another part of all the messiness that bogged the show down. The longest match was about four minutes (the opener) and the rest of the show was a combination of men beating on women, the double wedding and short angles disguised as matches.

I really don’t have an interest in Sunday’s show and so much of that is because I can barely remember most of the card. As usual, one of the major problems of this kind of booking is trying to keep track of why something happened. Why are Goldberg and Steiner fighting? I’m not entirely sure, though I’m sure it was some swerve that came a few weeks ago. The swerves kind of run together after awhile, especially when you can see them coming so far away. Russo really doesn’t have a ton of ideas and once you get a handle on him, any magic he might have goes away in a hurry. Really bad show this week but that’s to be expected.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro #256
Date: September 4, 2000
Location: Reunion Arena, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jeremy Borash, Mark Madden

This is a special (kind of) show for me as I remembered hearing about WarGames 2000 on Thunder and wanting to see it. Being a moron of twelve at the time, I stayed home to watch that while Monday Night Raw was taking place ten minutes from my house and a buddy of mine had an extra ticket. To this day I can’t explain what I was thinking. Let’s get to it.

On a side note: this is five years to the day that Nitro debuted.

We open with a video on tonight’s big triple cage match with the teams announced. It’s a four on four match with the World Title on the line, which already gives us a lapse in logic. The match is also called Russo’s Revenge because WARGAMES isn’t MANLY enough.

Team Russo (Russo/Nash/Jarrett/Steiner) are coming to the ring.

New opening sequence.

Tag Team Titles: Insane Clown Posse vs. Juventud Guerrera/Rey Mysterio Jr.

The Clowns are challenging for reasons I’ll never understand. Konnan does his intro but gets jumped from behind to get things going. It’s a brawl to start with Rey dropkicking Violent J to the floor for a double dive from the champs. Back in and Shaggy dropkicks Juvy out of the air to let the Clowns take over.

Borash to Konnan and Disqo on commentary: “Do the ICP have it like that?” Somehow this turns into a discussion of Richard Gere as Shaggy takes Air Juvy (Poetry in Motion) and a Bronco Buster from Rey, only to have the Clowns pop up like it was nothing. J presses Rey over his head but gets dropkicked down, setting up a double dropkick from the champs. What’s Up with a legdrop instead of a headbutt puts J down to retain the titles.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here as the Clowns were kept to a minimum and mainly just had Rey and Juvy do all the work. The Clowns aren’t the worst in the ring but they definitely need someone to walk them through the match. I’m still not sure why the Animals turned face but at least Rey and Juvy, the most natural underdog team ever, aren’t supposed to be intimidating anymore.

Team Canada is in the gym and Storm is putting Major Gunns through boot camp. Gunns has to be taught to work as hard as a Canadian, which is nothing more than a reason to have her running on a treadmill.

Booker T., The Cat and Ms. Jones (in a neck brace) leave their hotel.

The triple cage is lowered way too early because here’s Russo, flanked by the Thrillers, with something to say. In case you’ve never seen it, the structure is the Cell with a hardcore (weapons cage) on top with a one man cage on top of that for one of the biggest things you’ll see in wrestling. Russo takes a quick shot at the Dallas Cowboys before explaining the idea of how you win this mess. Unlike Slamboree, you have to climb the ladder and get the belt at the top of the cage and then bring it back down and go out the door.

Tonight it’s going to be the babyface team against the heel team (his words), though he claims that Team Russo will be the babyfaces. Also there’s been an injunction that means Cat has no power. Therefore, the heels (as in Goldberg/Sting/Cat/Booker T.), all have to win qualifying matches to get into WarGames. If Goldberg actually wins, Russo will waive the no contact clause. It’s going to be so big that Nash is going to hand Russo the World Title on a plate. This brings out Nash who doesn’t look pleased. Yeah I’m sure.

Nash says this isn’t how things work because his title isn’t on the line unless he says it’s on the line. He only has to defend it once a month and maybe he’ll do it on the 29^th day at the 11^th hour if he feels like it. Russo says he’s the boss but Nash says in this cage, he’s Russo’s daddy. The lights go out and here’s Sting coming through a hole in the ring. Nash flips Russo off and leaves, allowing Sting to get in Russo’s face and say it’s showtime. No contact of course because that’s Vince Russo but whatever.

Sting turns back around so Russo climbs a ladder to get to the second cage. Sting chases him up but Scott Steiner and Jeff Jarrett come in. The Thrillers come in and move the ladder so here are Booker and the Cat to take them out. Russo uses the numbers game to get down but here’s Goldberg (fresh out of the desert, which hasn’t been mentioned yet) to chase him off. Geez people. You’re having an eight person triple cage match later and you felt the need to have a big segment inside the cage as well? On five days’ notice? Really?

Post break (and recap), Steiner and Jarrett yell at Russo for ticking Nash off.

Jeremy Borash is bald and we actually get a video of the Nitro Girls shaving his head. This was something about a ratings bet with Russo that isn’t elaborated on, thank goodness.

Here are the Harris Brothers with some footage to show us. It’s a clip of them going to a bar where Kronik is drinking and starting a fight. This has nothing on the Friendly Tap.

Shane Douglas wants Goldberg in a qualifying match so Russo grants the wish to get rid of him. The catch is Shane wants the Thrillers but Torrie says he doesn’t need them. Torrie and Shane leave so Russo sends the Thrillers out to keep an eye on him.

WarGames Qualifying Match: Sting vs. Great Muta/Vampiro

I’m assuming Muta and Vampiro can get into the cage if they win. Muta and Vampiro double team him to start but Sting clotheslines Vampiro to the floor. Back in and Vampiro grabs Sting but takes the Mist to the face by mistake. Muta is sent outside and a Death Drop pins Vampiro in just over a minute.

Post match the Clowns come out to yell at Muta but nothing happens.

Major Gunns, now drenched in sweat, is on another exercise machine and the camera just happens to be looking down at her in a low cut top.

Russo makes Stevie Ray wrestle tonight by threatening to take away his Thunder commentary job.

Jarrett tells Nash to get over his issues with Russo. Nash threatens to switch teams tonight.

WarGames Qualifying Match: Booker T. vs. Stevie Ray

Stevie says this is for the fans instead of Russo. Booker gives Russo his catchphrase and Stevie jumps him from behind to take over early on. Ray sends him face first into the steps for two before bending Booker’s arms back to slow things down. Back up and Booker hits a quick forearm to set up the ax kick. The Harlem Side Kick is caught in a kind of powerbomb but the Slap Jack is countered with a backdrop. The Book End sends Booker to the main event in a hurry.

Post match Booker yells at Stevie for jumping him. The explanation: suckas gots to know and a hug. Ok then.

Kronik asks the Jung Dragons where the Harris Brothers are but beats them up for not speaking English. Totally not a Kai En Tai knockoff.

Back from a break and Kronik triple chokeslams 3 Count for fun. They want the Harris Brothers right now but get Jeff Jarrett instead. The tag match isn’t happening tonight but here’s a handicap match for them instead.

WarGames Qualifying Match: The Cat vs. Kronik

Cat says they should be getting together to fight Russo and company. Clark agrees and goes after Jeff, leaving Cat to roll Adams up for two. The beatdown is on but Cat drops to the floor to save Ms. Jones from Jarrett. Kronik pulls Cat back inside for High Times and the pin in less than a minute and a half. So Kronik is in the match instead.

Russo and Steiner are thrilled by the result……until it’s announced that Kronik advances instead. YOU MADE THE MATCH AND YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW THE RULES??? You can’t make this stuff up.

WarGames Qualifying Match: Shane Douglas vs. Goldberg

Torrie, really not very good on the mic yet, yells about being stuck in Dallas for the night. Shane gets shoved down to start and a quick legbar sends him out to the floor. Goldberg fires off a forearm but hits the post instead of Shane, giving Douglas a target. Back in and Shane works on a wristlock which goes as well as you would expect it to go. A clothesline with the bar arm drops Shane (no selling of course) and here are the Thrillers. They’re beaten down just as quickly with Reno taking a Roll the Dice. Douglas loads up the chain but gets speared down to set up the Jackhammer for the pin.

Rating: D. For an evil genius, Russo does some really stupid stuff. With that win, Goldberg is in the cage and can beat on Russo, all because of Russo’s doing. The match itself was as good as Shane Douglas vs. Goldberg in an overbooked match was going to be though at least we could look at Torrie.

Russo panics because he doesn’t think thinks through. Nash tells him he has an agenda tonight and Russo is foiled again.

Major Gunns is swimming for her final test to become Canadian. Well they might have been too subtle earlier so just put her in a swimsuit and be done with it. The Misfits are watching with binoculars from all of twenty feet away. Pamela Paulshock is thrown in as well so here are the Misfits to fight the Canadians in the pool.

Russo puts Vito in a gauntlet match against the Thrillers. That’s their final chance.

Arn Anderson is asked about whether he’ll show up for David’s wedding next week. After saying Pamela looks good soaking wet (he has a point), he wonders why someone like David would want to get married anyway. It’s in Horsemen country though so sure they’ll show up. The fact that the only thing they build up for weeks is likely another chance to humiliate Ric Flair is very telling about WCW.

Big Vito vs. Natural Born Thrillers

Vito says he doesn’t sweat anyone so bring it on. The Thrillers do their catchphrases so Vito turns it into gay jokes. After even more filler yelling at each other, Sanders says the five of them (there are six) will fight at the same time. Vito fights with the stick ball bat for as long as he can until Jindrak and O’Haire kick him in the face. The beating is on as you would expect and it’s a parade of finishers, capped off with the Seanton Bomb for the easy pin.

The Thrillers beat him down even more post match.

The teams have meetings in the back.

The good guys, minus Goldberg, are ready.

WCW World Title: WarGames 2000: Vince Russo/Kevin Nash/Scott Steiner/Jeff Jarrett vs. Sting/Kronik/Booker T./Goldberg

Nash is defending and the teams are only a thing for the timed interval (two minutes) entrances. The match can end at anytime and it’s Jarrett vs. Sting to start. They fight on the floor next to the ladder (needed to climb to the second cage) before throwing the ladder inside. Sting sends him into the ladder and it’s Scott Steiner in because the heels won the coin toss. Wait didn’t Russo say his team was the babyface team? So officially, the faces won the coin toss? Leave it to Russo to screw up the easiest idea in wrestling (which I believe he did in TNA’s Lethal Lockdown match as well).

Steiner hits Sting in the ribs to take over and brings in a bigger ladder but stops to beat on Sting even more. Kronik, meaning both of them, come in to “even” things up. Steiner heads up to the second cage, leaving Jarrett to take High Times, allowing Kronik to follow Steiner up top. A double gorilla press drops Steiner as the question becomes if Adams or Clark wins the title for themselves since they entered the match as a unit.

Russo comes in next but has the Harris Brothers climb the Cell and go inside the second cage after Kronik. As you might expect, Sting beats Russo down with ease and puts him in the Scorpion (of course Russo never taps). Now it’s Nash coming in as the heel/face order is thrown out. Nash goes after everyone and grabs Russo (standing with no issues after being in the Scorpion) by the throat but Steiner breaks it up. The Harris Brothers and Kronik are brawling in the crowd, apparently with Kronik having been eliminated. In WarGames.

Now Steiner breaks up Nash’s choke on Jarrett as Booker comes in. Booker ax kicks Steiner so Russo hits him from behind like a moron, earning himself an ax kick to the helmet. Yeah he’s wearing a helmet. Nash decks Booker and everyone still in the match is in the bottom cage. The heels all beat down Booker and Sting until Goldberg comes out to complete the field. Jarrett and Steiner take the bullets for Russo, leaving him to hit Goldberg in the back with the ball bat to drop Goldberg.

Booker goes up top for the belt (Yeah remember that?) as Nash stands next to the door. Well that’s smart, even though you could conceivably just climb down the side of the cage to get to the floor. Somewhere in there Goldberg was handcuffed to the corner. You would think they would have pointed that out earlier. Sting, Jarrett and Steiner go up to the second cage, leaving Booker to go up and get the belt. Booker starts hitting people with the belt to get down but Sting has been handcuffed to the weapons cage, allowing Steiner to take the belt away from Booker and blast him in the face.

Madden admits there are no teams in this mess as the belt falls through the hole. Russo picks it up and taunts Goldberg, allowing the Cat to come in and kick Russo in the head. Nash lays out Cat with a Jackknife but Goldberg breaks the handcuffs and cleans house. He picks up the belt and goes to leave but Bret Hart appears and slams the door on his face. Russo has the belt free and clear until Nash grabs him by the shirt. They hug, it was a swerve, and Nash retains.

Rating: D+. Let’s get this out of the way to start: this wasn’t WarGames. Russo can call it that all he wants but this had as much to do with WarGames as the set of collectable plates that McDonalds put out in 1998 to promote Hercules. This was a big cage match with timed intervals and that’s about it for WarGames connections.

That being said, the match was enough of a mess that it wasn’t boring and at least presented something that could be interesting if someone competent was booking the thing. It would have been a lot better if it had been just going up and getting the belt without having to get back down but you knew Nash wasn’t going up that high. It’s total insanity of course, but were you expecting anything else?

Here’s the thing though: it’s a huge waste of time. Think about it: this match was announced last Wednesday, had its main story set up earlier in the night, and the match happened tonight. Nothing changes in the storylines, Nash is still facing Booker at the pay per view, and it was all a big swerve for a few hours. At least it was memorable though, which is Russo’s definition of good.

Overall Rating: D. The main event helped a bit but an hour and a half of nothing matches before the main event isn’t the best idea with one more Nitro before the pay per view. However, I’d rather watch a somewhat interesting one off show than the traditional insanity that I have to put up with when they try to do multiple storylines. On a sidenote: where was Mike Awesome? He was part of the team on Thunder and I don’t think he was even mentioned here. That’s probably best for him actually.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder
Date: August 30, 2000
Location: Tuscon Convention Center, Tuscon, Arizona
Commentators: Stevie Ray, Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay

This is another case where just getting up to a coherent show would be a huge improvement over what they had on Monday. Thunder isn’t usually the best show in the world but at least it has a tendency to make sense. Nash is the World Champion now, which could actually work if he puts Booker over at the pay per view. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap from Nitro. Normally editing things down to a few minutes works but in this case, the show is still a disaster.

Here’s Team Canada with the captured Major Gunns in the ring. Elix Skipper says “Show me the Canadian money!” Gunns has to hold the flag and rolls her eyes throughout Storm’s speech about how we all want to be Canadians. The Canadian national anthem plays so Gunns drops the flag and rips her top off to reveal an American flag bra. Cue Team Canada’s opponents.

Team Canada vs. Kronik

Storm is sent to the floor and Adams launches Skipper down on top of him. We settle down with Clark stomping away at Skipper in the corner. Tony promises the announcement of a first time ever match this coming Monday on Nitro. A double shoulder drops Skipper and he dives backwards into a full nelson slam, only to have Storm springboard in with a clothesline for two. Tony: “One, two, HE ALMOST BEAT HIM!” Yeah because the US Champion getting a pin would be shocking.

Adams clotheslines both guys down and brings in Clark for the Meltdown on Skipper for two. Storm breaks up High Times and goes for the flag, only to have Gunns jab him between the legs. The full nelson slam and High Times puts Storm away, because why not pin the US Champion in a nothing match?

Rating: C-. Not the worst power vs. speed match as I could watch Storm being that smooth in the ring all day. The guy just looks natural flying around at a level that almost no one else reaches. I didn’t like the ending but at least the match leading up to it was good enough and we’re off to a nice start.

Post match here’s General Rection comes down to try to save Gunns but the Canadians fight back, drawing out the rest of the Misfits for the save. The Canadians get away with Gunns.

The Natural Born Thrillers are ready for a limo but it’s Nash and Steiner. The new champ wants to have fun tonight “and that’s a shoot.”

We see a clip of the Thunder Tailgate Party. Ignore Vito still wearing the Hardcore Title, making this a month old at least.

Here are Steiner, Jarrett, Nash and the Thrillers (you knew the mega heel stable was coming) with Scott going first. Apparently he isn’t allowed to call Goldberg all the names he wants because the corporate sponsors won’t let him. Some villain. He got hit in the face with a pipe on Monday and has the banged up eyes to prove it. After Steiner swears a bit (that’s more like it), he promises to take care of Goldberg at Fall Brawl.

Nash talks about winning the World Title for the fifth time on Monday. Stevie: “And no one remembers the first four.” Well to be fair those, three of those reigns combined to last about two weeks. He’s watched the tape back a few times and sees why Jarrett played it so fair during the match: Jeff wanted Nash to win the title on his own, because Nash wanted to do it for the people. Gee I just thought it was bad writing.

The fans actually cheer the line (save for Daffney and the Crowbar look-a-like, who are in the audience for some reason) and Nash chuckles. All that means is more people willing to pay another $30 at an autograph signing because their picture has the belt in it. Nash touts the Thrillers as the future and says Goldberg is out in the desert so there’s no one to stop them tonight.

Cue Booker to say he has a clique of his own, so here are Vito, Awesome and the Filthy Animals. So the clique known as the Animals are part of an even bigger clique? You think you might be overdoing this faction war stuff? Booker is worried about the guys in the ring taking over WCW and the fight is on until security makes the save.

A few notes here. First, I don’t really see why this is a problem since we’ve established that Cat is more powerful than Russo. Second, this was actually a well done segment with the storyline being laid out right in front of us. That’s one area where Russo excels: he can set up a big story really, really well.

Unfortunately that brings us to the third point: we’re going to have to see where this goes and that’s Russo’s downfall. He can set stuff up but at some point he has to execute those stories and the whole thing collapses. On top of that, if you’ve seen one Russo faction war story, you’ve seen them all. Thankfully this one is off to a good start though and you have to take the little things while you can. Oh and ignore the setup having plot holes the size of Russo’s MANLY biceps of course.

Back from a break and we see Nash taking over the control booth during the commercial. Apparently he’s in charge now and sends Reno to face Mike Awesome.

Rection wants Storm at Fall Brawl. For AMERICA. And Gunns.

Wedding invitation for a week from Monday.

Reno vs. Mike Awesome

Awesome is in ring gear here, which really makes me wonder why the 70s thing existed. He doesn’t wear the stuff to the ring and wrestles the same so why do it other than to amuse the writers? Awesome elbows him in the face to start and throws him down with a German suplex for no cover.

The slingshot shoulder gets two for Mike and we hear about War Games 2000 airing this Monday on Nitro, meaning it’s the first time ever both A, on TV and B, for the World Title. Thanks for giving us a full FIVE DAYS notice for this huge match. Reno gets in a shot to the ribs but stops to go after Daffney’s boyfriend (Ozzie) for no apparent reason. Stevie: “How did they get front row seats in this venue?” Back in and Mike grabs the Awesome Bomb for a quick pin. Stevie: “BUT HOW DID THEY GET THE SEATS TONY???”

Rating: D+. Another match that didn’t have enough time to go anywhere and the Ozzie stuff didn’t make much sense. Reno is yet another guy with a great look who could have been something if he was given the chance. Awesome did his usual but he was really just a warm body here, which is yet another waste of talent.

Reno beats up Ozzie and Daffney throws popcorn.

During the break, Jarrett jumped Awesome until Jimmy Hart and Finlay of all people broke it up. I like this attacks during the break stuff. There’s something so fake about having nothing happen until we’re back from a commercial.

This week’s sitdown interview is with Paul Orndorff earlier today in the empty arena. Tony asks about Orndorff being in charge of the Power Plant. Paul calls the students his kids and he’s so proud of all of them. The Power Plant is brutal but he’s looking for the best of the best (I guess Batista isn’t considered that great).

Orndorff keeps the students working hard and has them clean the place because they need to learn that no one is above anything. Tony brings up the Natural Born Thrillers having no respect for Orndorff and claiming that it was their talent that got them here. Mike Sanders called Orndorff a miserable old man and that’s more than enough for Paul.

It’s time for an old school rant with Paul talking about how these kids are ungrateful and how they were nothing before he got hold of them. Tony keeps egging him on by saying how often the Thrillers talk like this and you can see Orndorff getting madder and madder because this is what he gets every time he tries to help someone. Really good stuff from Orndorff here as he gets the role perfectly and nailed it, as most old school guys can.

Back live and here are the Thrillers with signs about Orndorff, including “Your best match was against Vader” and “Aren’t you dead yet?” The signs are turned around to spell out WE RULE.

Steiner hits Reno with a pipe for losing.

Booker says his knee is fine and he’s ready for Mike Sanders tonight.

Tag Team Titles: Rey Mysterio/Juventud Guerrera vs. Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak

Jindrak and O’Haire are challenging, as ordered by Nash and company. Before we get started, O’Haire says we’ll make it fair by letting Disqo be on the team. Or we could just have a tag match but that might make too much sense. Konnan sits in on commentary. O’Haire slams Disqo down to start and hits that sweet springboard clothesline of his. Disqo gets in a few shots and wisely brings in Juvy for some quick legdrops.

Off to Rey for the Bronco Buster but he dives into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. It’s off to Jindrak who gets two off a clothesline, followed by a nice Torture Rack neckbreaker for two more. Mark misses a dropkick though and it’s off to Juvy for some dropkicks of his own. In the melee, O’Haire gets in a quick tag, allowing Jindrak to throw Juvy into the air for a powerslam from Sean.

Juvy rolls to the floor so Sean hiptosses him over the top and back inside. There’s something awesome about small people being thrown around like that. Back in and the hot tag brings in Rey as everything breaks down. O’Haire kicks Disqo in the face but Juvy breaks up the Seanton Bomb and pulls Sean down with a hurricanrana. A quick Rey legdrop between the legs retains the titles.

Rating: B-. Now this is how you do the power vs. speed formula. This worked really well back and forth, even if the idea of the champions having the advantage goes completely against face/heel psychology. Jindrak and O’Haire’s good looking tandem stuff makes up for it though, along with Juvy and Rey bumping like pinballs.

Mike Sanders gets Booker T. tonight. Jarrett comes in and says he’s booked himself in a match that could end his career. Just give us the comedy reveal already.

Steiner attacks Jindrak and O’Haire as well.

Mike Sanders vs. Booker T.

Sanders tells Booker to bring it so here’s a livid Mr. T. Booker drops him with an early clothesline and hammers away with right hands in the corner. The ax kick, side kick and Book End put Sanders away in barely a minute.

Post break Booker is limping and Sanders gets beaten down as well.

Jarrett is getting his blood pressure checked before his big intimidating match.

Big Vito vs. Chuck Palumbo

This is the result of a Vito challenge. They trade early slams for two until Vito grabs a suplex and drops the top rope elbow. The top rope headbutt misses though and Palumbo hits a nice top rope shoulder for two of his own. Not that it matters as Vito hits him in the ribs and scores with the implant DDT for another quick win. So much for Nash’s boys being, you know, good.

Steiner beats up Palumbo as well. Good for him as Palumbo should be able to last two minutes against Big Vito.

Harris Twins vs. Misfits in Action

AWOL/Rection here. It’s a big fight to start as is almost always the custom in tag matches around here. The Misfits take over with AWOL working over we’ll say Don as things settle down. Since that’s too calm for WCW, here’s Storm with Major Gunns for a distraction. AWOL goes through a table because what else is he supposed to do. The H Bomb is broken up by Rection, who loads up No Laughing Matter, only to have Skipper come out and hit him with the flag. Isn’t that disrespecting the Maple Leaf? We’re still not done though as Kronik comes in for High Times on Ron, setting up No Laughing Matter for the pin.

Rating: D. Well you knew something like this was coming. Who in the world thought we needed five people running in and a weapon shot on a quick TV match? The Misfits are another team that could go somewhere if there weren’t so many factions on the show that take up space. We’re currently at seven stables and counting (Misfits, Thrillers, Team Canada, Nash’s group, Booker’s group, Filthy Animals, Dark Carnival) so how exactly are the Misfits supposed to stand out?

AWOL saves Rection from Storm.

Leia Meow whips the Dragons for losing so much. If they don’t get better, they have to lick her boots. Ok then.

Steiner and Nash interrupt Jarrett at prayer and offer to have his back out there tonight. Jarrett has to do this himself.

Jeff Jarrett vs. ???

It’s Kwee Wee. There’s nothing else to say here and if you’ve ever watched wrestling before, you knew a swerve was coming the whole way. Jarrett jumps him at the bell as Paisley sits in on commentary. Kwee Wee gets slugged down as Stevie talks about keeping his yaks intact. A hiptoss and back elbow put Jarrett down but he sidesteps a missile dropkick.

Jeff loads up the Stroke but throws him down when Mike Awesome comes out for a distraction. A quick rollup gets two on Jeff but the referee gets rid of Awesome, allowing Jeff to….do nothing. Kwee Wee tries what looks like a powerbomb but drops Jarrett for two instead. The Stroke wraps it up pretty quick.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as you could see the joke from the second they announced this in the first place. At least in this case they weren’t really trying to hide it which makes this a lot easier to sit through. Nash and Steiner playing along helped and at least the match was short enough.

Here’s Shawn Stasiak for an arm wrestling challenge. As you might expect, here’s Orndorff to answer as well as scare Stasiak half to death. Paul almost has it won but then punches Shawn in the face like a ticked off veteran should. There’s a piledriver for Stasiak before Orndorff grabs a chair and fights off the rest of the Thrillers. This REALLY hasn’t been their night but Orndorff is already better than most of the people on this show.

Cat and Ms. Jones get here.

Here’s Cat in the arena to call out Nash, who works for Russo who works for Cat. Therefore it’s time for Cat vs. Nash….which doesn’t actually start as Cat has to beat up Steiner and Jarrett. Nash comes in with a ball bat because THE CAT is just so tough. Jones tries to slap Jeff but gets guitared, which finally draws out Booker to help. The Thrillers come out and keep the beating going to end the show. I have no idea why the Animals, Awesome or Vito didn’t come out to help but that’s continuity for you.

Overall Rating: B-. This was the best Thunder in probably a year at least. Well at least the first half was as the rest turned into another goofy mess. The key thing here is they toned down all the ridiculous insanity and just told their big story with wrestling matches. That’s one of the things that drives me craziest about Russo: there’s good(ish) stuff buried deep under the mess, but there’s so much bad to get through that it’s hard to keep trying. Still though, awesome first hour this week and not a bad enough second hour to kill it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Nitro #255
Date: August 28, 2016
Location: Pan American Center, Las Cruces, New Mexico
Attendance: 4,588
Commentators: Mark Madden, Tony Schiavone

I’m sitting here trying to write an introduction for this show and I honestly can’t remember anything from the last two shows. I watched Nitro a week ago and Thunder three days ago and I have no idea what happened. The big matches are Booker T. vs. Kevin Nash and Scott Steiner vs. Goldberg, but none of the details or any of the other details are coming to me. So little of this has any staying power whatsoever and feels like they’re flying from story to story with nothing in between. Let’s get to it.

We actually open with an NWO video. As in the Outsiders/Jarrett/Hart. Why in the world is this airing and why do I have a chill running up my spine at the possibilities?

Scott Steiner, Kevin Nash, Jeff Jarrett and Vince Russo get out of a limo.

Dark Carnival vs. 3 Count

It’s Vampiro and the Clowns here, leaving Muta of all people to do commentary. This goes as well as you would expect it to as Madden “translates”. The band dives onto the Carnival a few times to take over I’m pretty sure Muta’s voice is overdubbed here and you can almost feel the racial overtones from here. The Clowns are knocked to the floor and a double suplex drops Vampiro. Muta screams for some reason and Tony asks Mark what he said. Madden: “He said AAAHHHHHH!!!!” Back in and Vampiro hits a Nail in the Coffin to Moore, setting up a guillotine foot drop from Shaggy for the pin.

Post match Tank Abbott comes out to destroy 3 Count. The Carnival and 3 Count beat Tank down until Demon makes the save. Muta gets in with the mist to Demon, only to have Sting come out for the real save. That would be three people running in, mist and a ball bat as fallout from a 2:40 match. Sting, Tank and Demon pose in a very odd visual.

Here are Russo, Nash, Jarrett, Steiner and the Natural Born Thrillers with something to say, though I have a feeling Nash and Russo will do most of the talking. Russo tells us to cheer him because this is the elite group of WCW. Wasn’t this the same group that wanted to kill each other at New Blood Rising? Now the Band is back together and Goldberg is in trouble. All Goldberg had to do was sign his release but now it’s going to become New York ugly.

Jarrett says he has all the stroke around here no one can touch them. Some of the people here might find it odd that Nash is back on the team. However, Jarrett wants to talk about something personal, like Mike Awesome. Mike cost him the US Title last week so Jarrett wants him in a Bunkhouse Brawl at Fall Brawl. Steiner got his revenge last week and Goldberg found out what payback was. He could walk backwards and look better than Goldberg’s girlfriend and that’s about it.

Nash says he should have called himself the Puppet Master instead of Big Sexy. Every few months he suckers people in so they’ll buy his merchandise but now that it’s all sold out, you get the real him. He doesn’t care about any of the fans and he never will. The people can’t get him title shots or watch his back but the people in this ring certainly can. The fans start chanting for Booker but Nash promises to take the title in Buffalo at Fall Brawl. Russo says not so fast though because Nash isn’t getting the title shot at the pay per view. Instead, he’s getting the shot tonight with Jarrett as referee and Steiner as outside enforcer.

Cue Booker to tell Nash to shut up and to tell Russo to pick a buddy to get beaten up. This brings out the Cat and Ms. Jones with the former wanting his karate gi to give someone else a beating. The Thrillers let the two of them walk by and Cat gets in the ring to tell Russo to get out of town because he’s not the boss. Nash and company beat Cat and Booker down so here are the Filthy Animals to go after the Thrillers.

They get through the line and are destroyed by the big names as well before Russo and company go up the ramp. Goldberg appears on screen in the desert, digging a hole. He promises to come back tonight and take care of all the goons though before bringing Russo to the desert and burying him in the sand. In other words, Russo is next.

Let’s pause here for a second and recap. Here’s a list of people involved in the first segment:

3 Count (Karagias, Moore, Helms)

Dark Carnival (Vampiro, Muta, Insane Clown Posse)

Tank Abbott

Sting

Demon

Here’s a list of people involved in the second segment:

Vince Russo

Kevin Nash

Jeff Jarrett

Scott Steiner

Natural Born Thrillers (Reno, Sanders, Jindrak, Stasiak, O’Haire, Palumbo)

Booker T.

Ms. Jones

The Cat

Filthy Animals (Konnan, Juvy, Mysterio, Disqo)

Goldberg

To recap, TWENTY EIGHT PEOPLE were involved in the first two segments. We’re not even a fourth of the way into this show and we’ve nearly had enough people to run a Royal Rumble. You think they might be overdoing it a little bit???

Cat is taken away in an ambulance.

Russo tells his buddies to keep an eye on him because Goldberg might bury him alive. Jarrett has someone coming in to deal with Goldberg while they get ready for later. So in other words, Russo and Goldberg is the big story instead of the World Title. Raise your hand if you’re surprised. Goldberg calls Russo (thank goodness he knew his number and could get to a phone in the desert) and says he’s on his way.

Tygress vs. Major Gunns vs. Paisley

Paisley kicks Gunns in the back and leaves as Tygress rolls her up for the pin in 20 seconds. The referee says it was only a two so Paisley and Tygress beat Gunns up even more before leaving with no cover. I don’t even know how to call this stupid.

The Animals beat up the Thrillers and Konnan makes fun of Russo. So yeah, again it’s all about Russo.

Jarrett has a truck full of guitars. Ok that’s actually funny.

Mike Awesome is now a fan of the 1970s. I knew this was coming and it really doesn’t help. He just came in for an interview and is wearing a blue leisure suit with disco playing in the background. Awesome wants Rick Steiner in a Bunkhouse Brawl as a warmup later tonight.

Kronik vs. Harris Twins

This is a House of Pain match, meaning a cage where you have to handcuff your opponents to the cage wall, because that makes sense. It’s a slugout to start with the camera jumping around way too often. Clark suplexes Ron and drops a middle rope elbow and Adams plants Ron with a full nelson slam. With enough wrestling having been done so far, Adams throws Ron through the cage wall and they brawl on the floor with Don beating up a fan for no apparent reason. The match, a cage match, is thrown out in less than two and a half minutes.

Preview of The Way of the Gun, an upcoming movie.

Here’s Team Canada to issue a challenge to MIA for a Prisoner of War match. In other words, the winner gets to kidnap a member of the other team and keep them for an undisclosed period of time. Cue the MIA, with Rection saying their name now stands for Made in America. The match is on, as long as it can be a tables match.

Lance Storm vs. Sgt. AWOL

Non-title. AWOL takes him down to start and they’re quickly on the floor with Storm getting kicked in the face. Storm gets back in and Skipper hits AWOL with the flag, allowing Storm to dropkick AWOL off the apron and through the table.

Storm grabs Gunns and bails.

Sting (with the announcers being heard off camera) accepts Muta’s challenge. When did he make that challenge?

Mike Awesome vs. Rick Steiner

Bunkhouse Brawl, meaning no holds barred. Thankfully Awesome is in his regular gear here. Steiner jumps him to start but Mike clotheslines him to the floor and hits a big old dive over the top. Awesome throws in a table but Jeff Jarrett runs in with a pipe, allowing Steiner to German suplex Awesome through the table for the pin.

Ok, stop for a second. To recap, we’ve just finished our fifth match, which has consisted of a six man tag, a triple threat, a gimmick cage match, a tables match and a hardcore match. Total match time: 8:23. That should be the first hour and a half of a pay per view and we haven’t even had nine minutes of action. How in the world did we get here?

WCW World Title: Booker T. vs. Kevin Nash

Booker is defending, Russo is on commentary, Jarrett is inside referee and Steiner is outside referee. This is your first half main event, meaning that indeed, this show is more about Goldberg and Russo. Nash kicks him in the face to start and they head to the floor with Jarrett actually counting them both out.

Russo is off commentary to yell at Jarrett for throwing Booker back inside, only to have Jeff shove him back to the booth. Back in and Booker hammers away in the corner as Jeff seems to be calling it down the middle. I’m sure that’s going to last until the end of the match too. Nash drops the champ with a clothesline for two. Russo freaks out as Steiner hits Booker in the back, sending Jarrett outside while Nash covers Booker. Jeff shoves Russo as Nash slowly beats on Booker with Russo threatening to fire the referee.

There’s a superkick to Nash, followed by the side kick for no cover. The ax kick sets up the Spinarooni and the missile dropkick. Steiner comes back and we hear the production team doing an audio test. Of course we do. Booker drops Steiner but Jeff hits the champ with a guitar because we needed a swerve of a group set up twenty minutes ago in a seven and a half minute match. Nash gets up and Jackknifes Booker for the pin and his fifth title.

Rating: D-. This is a classic case of WHAT WAS THE POINT. Like I said, the group was announced maybe half an hour ago at most but we had a swerve, teasing issues between them. Then they get to say it’s all a swerve and laugh after Russo acted all freaked out for about three minutes. Again I ask: what was the point? I’m sure it’s more of Russo’s brilliant writing that went over my head, which happens way too often on these shows. Just let the fix be in from the start next time and stop making things complicated.

Tony: “This is the worst thing to ever happen to the WCW World Title. And we’ve seen a lot of bad things happen to it.”

Russo and company celebrate but they still need to worry about Goldberg.

Booker leaves as Goldberg arrives, which gets him to stick around.

Shane Douglas and Torrie Wilson are in the crowd with Shane saying he left Kidman alive at New Blood Rising. That’s not a mistake he’ll make again because he wants a scaffold match at Fall Brawl. Of course he does. Cue Crowbar to go after Shane for whatever reason but Daffney is down under the balcony for an unintentional distraction, allowing Shane to throw Crowbar off the balcony and through a well placed table.

Shane goes down after him and shoves Daffney (there’s your required violence against a woman) before heading to the ring with Torrie. That was just a warmup so if there’s a man who wants to give him a real test, come out here now. Cue Goldberg to dispatch Shane with the usual. So we have a match set up, a random Crowbar appearance, a big bump to likely write Crowbar off TV, a woman being shoved, and Goldberg destroying Shane so no one remembers what Shane did. This show makes me need oxygen.

Nash goes into the shower (complete with the censored stuff) but Booker jumps him from behind.

Russo panics so Steiner goes to deal with Goldberg. Why doesn’t Russo go with him?

We get a wedding invitation from David Flair and Miss Hancock (in Charlotte) for two weeks from tonight.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Big Vito

Madden makes Italian jokes and Tony talks about Russo as Vito powerslams Jeff for two. A loud right hand drops Jeff again but Jarrett comes back with some right hands of his own. There’s the Mafia Kick and a legdrop for two on Jarrett as Vito continues to be far more adequate in the ring than you would expect him to be. A top rope elbow gets two more on Jarrett as Madden is freaking out. Jeff’s enziguri looks to set up the Stroke but Vito counters with a good looking belly to back. Vito drops a top rope headbutt for two more but the Big Vito Special (Impaler) is countered into the Stroke for the clean pin.

Rating: C. Write this down because I don’t think there’s going to be another clean finish in this company for probably weeks. This worked far better than it had any right to be with Vito more than hanging in there against the more talented Jarrett. Like so many people on the roster though, Vito can do as much as he wants but with this basic of a gimmick, the glass ceiling is going to leave one heck of a bump on the back of his head.

Jarrett goes outside to get more guitars but Mike Awesome is waiting under the pile and takes Jeff out. Again, that was clever.

Natural Born Thrillers vs. Filthy Animals

This is a ten person elimination tag with Stasiak as the odd man out and Tygress in the ring for the Animals. Palumbo and Guerrera get things going with Juvy kicking at the legs and taking him over with a nice suplex. Juvy tries to go up but gets caught in midair for a fall away slam. Stasiak brings up Paul Orndorff as their trainer but doesn’t seem to think too much of him. Reno comes in to pound on Mysterio but it’s quickly back to Juvy to counter a powerbomb, allowing Rey to drop a springboard legdrop. A suplex puts Rey down and Jindrak comes in for a no hands Lionsault.

Kidman comes in but eats a tilt-a-whirl slam….which he doesn’t quite sell as he pops up with a Chartbuster. The hot tag brings in Konnan to clean house as everything breaks down with a bunch of people fighting to the floor for an eight man countout. We’re down to Sanders vs. Tygress with the latter knocking Mike into the corner for a Bronco Buster. That goes nowhere and the 3.0 gives Mike the easy pin.

Rating: D. Well it was fun while it lasted, or at least the first three minutes or so before we had to get to the trick to get out of having a match go on forever. On top of that, we had another woman getting beaten up by a man so everyone wins. This was another good idea that had to be rushed through because Russo is a nitwit.

Goldberg lays out Scott Steiner.

Russo is looking for any protection he can find (because just LEAVING is out of the question) and runs into Vito. After a quick apology from Russo, Vito gives him the kiss of death.

Here’s Russo in the arena because that’s the best place he could hide. Vito actually comes out with him and you can see the swerve coming from here. What swerve? No idea but you know one is coming. Russo is all MANLY again and calls out Goldberg because this is Russo’s house and these are Russo’s people.

Cue Goldberg as Russo KEEPS TALKING, saying that Goldberg can’t touch him. Wait….he’s been running scared all night and NOW he remembers that??? Tony: “This is real life fans.” Vito blasts Russo with the stick ball bat and stomps away. Goldberg throws Vito something (keys maybe) and tells Vito to take out the garbage. Vito carries Russo off, presumably out to the grave in the desert. I’m sure Goldberg and Vito, great pals of course, talked about where it was and that Vito has a good knowledge of the New Mexico desert’s geography.

Sting vs. Great Muta

They start fighting in the aisle before the bell and we’re not going to have a match are we? Sting takes over and hits Muta with a chair, only to get kicked back. Since this hasn’t gone on long enough, Vampiro and the Clowns cut through the video screen so Vampiro can dive off and hit Sting with a kendo stick. I guess walking out was too passe. Sting fights back and they climb onto the screen. The Clowns pull him through the hole in the screen and pound him down for way longer than this needed to go.

We cut to the desert with Bret Hart of all people getting out of a car to say he hates Russo more than anyone. Bret says he’s never forgotten Montreal and he wants to help bury Russo. Goldberg, like an idiot, agrees, and hands Bret a shovel. Bret blasts Goldberg in the back with said shovel and yells about Goldberg ending his career to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. Vince Russo has lost his mind. Like, moreso than usual. This was one of those rare episodes where you sit in awe watching, not sure how to react to anything. I’m sitting here trying to come up with something to say about this show but between all those gimmick matches rolled up into one show and Russo playing the high school scream queen running away from Goldberg the slasher to THE ASSAULT IN THE DESERT (how did Hart know they were there?), I really have no idea how to talk about this.

The worst part though: this show ran unopposed. The night before, the WWF had Summerslam 2000 (Rock vs. HHH vs. Angle, Benoit vs. Jericho in a 2/3 falls match and the first ever TLC) but Raw was preempted by a dog show. Therefore, you had a hot wrestling audience with zero competition (Monday Night Football started in a week) and this is what WCW gave them.

Earlier tonight, I watched JBL interview the Road Dogg on the WWE Network. Russo was brought up with JBL mentioning the theory that Russo was sent to WCW to ruin the company. I’ve never bought that theory but if you watch a show like this, it’s really hard to believe that McMahon fought very hard to keep Russo. He had to know that Russo was insane and wanted to do stuff like this, but my goodness there was no way anyone knew it could be this bad. This is one of those shows you need to see for yourselves as it’s one of the biggest head trips that I’ve ever seen.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Thunder
Date: August 23, 2000
Location: Tulsa Convention Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Attendance: 2,811
Commentators: Stevie Ray, Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone

We’re coming up on Fall Brawl with Nash vs. Booker T. for the title in a match that actually makes sense on paper. They’re making Booker out to be a giant killer so a win over Nash should be a good thing for his run. Now of course that brings up the issue of Nash ever doing what makes sense for the company as I’m sure Goldberg can tell you about. Let’s get to it.

Chuck Palumbo comes into Cat’s office and wants to be in the main event. That’s exactly what he gets, as part of a tag match with Kevin Nash against Booker T. and whoever Booker can find (this company LOVES itself some mystery partners). Well at least they’re doing something with one of the new guys so points for that. Ms. Jones leaves, saying she has to take care of something.

Kwee Wee vs. Corporal Cajun

Paisley sits in on commentary because managing doesn’t mean anything anymore. Cajun gets in some right hands and a dropkick to start but dives into a powerbomb as Kwee Wee’s offense continues to surprise. A slam (ok so he’s not always great) gets two and it’s off to a camel clutch as Kwee Wee (I can’t bring myself to use either half of his name) is showing some thinking by working on the back. That goes nowhere and Kwee Wee misses a middle rope legdrop to give Cajun a breather.

Back up and the Corporal does his stupid dancing punches to send Kwee Wee outside. After the Misfits take a chair away, Kwee Wee heads back inside, only to be backdropped right back to the floor. Cajun whips him into the barricade and gets slapped by Paisley for his efforts. Tony: “I’m with you girl.” Back in and Cajun gets two off a belly to belly but his headscissors is countered into a faceplant (think Dalton Castle’s Bang A Rang if you’re an ROH fan) for the quick pin.

Rating: C. Leave it to WCW to put one of their better young talents with a gimmick that is going to destroy his career. Kwee Wee has been a very nice surprise since he debuted a few weeks back and he’s actually making it work in the ring as well. This youth movement is going somewhere and it’s nice to see for a change.

Post match Paisley and Gunns get in a brawl because they’re women in 2000 WCW and that’s all they know how to do.

Back from a break with Paisley and Gunns still fighting until they challenge each other for later.

Ms. Jones comes up to Team Canada and makes Storm vs. Rection vs. Awesome for the US Title tonight. Storm isn’t pleased but it goes nowhere.

Here are the Natural Born Thrillers with something to say, starting with Sanders getting in his athletically stacked and genetically jacked lines. They were THIS close to winning the World and Tag Team Titles on Monday but various things got in the way. Cue the Filthy Animals with Konnan making a lot of jokes that are quickly censored. Some hero. Disqo wants Sanders tonight but before we can get an answer, Vito runs in and beats the Thrillers down with his stick ball bat. The Thrillers fight back because it’s just a stick but the Animals come in and clear them out.

Booker goes to see how Vito is and winds up getting him as a partner in the main event. That’s quite the jump up for Vito.

Sanders (in a different shirt than he was wearing in the ring because WCW’s production staff sucks) comes in to see Cat and wants a match with Disqo’s career on the line. He even gets all evil by insulting James Brown. That’s enough for Cat, but he can’t put Disqo’s career on the line because of his contract. Then what was the point of this?

Crowbar has candy and flowers for Daffney, but it turns out that she already went out with her secret admirer last night. Of course she can’t actually tell Crowbar what his name is but he’ll be here later. Crowbar caves in and says the flowers and candy were from the admirer. Again, this works way too well for what they’re doing.

Harris Twins vs. Jung Dragons

So yeah, after nearly killing themselves in that ladder match, this is the Dragons’ reward. That sums up WCW so well and it’s really sad to see. Ron no sells Yang’s dropkick to start so Kaz comes in with a kick off the top to actually stagger the twin. That’s about it though as Ron kicks Jamie-san in the face and it’s a double H-Bomb for the pin on Yang. I’m sure the Dragons will have another good cruiserweight match soon and look awesome and then this will happen all over again. It says a lot when hooking up with Nidia and becoming a redneck was a huge upgrade for Jamie Noble.

Post match Kaz takes another H-Bomb until Kronik comes out for the save. This brings out Leia Meow to yell at the Dragons and take them to the back.

Skipper says he has Storm’s back.

MI Smooth talks to Norman Smiley about their Hardcore Title match. For no apparent reason (save for it makes the joke work), it’s going to be I Quit so Norman can give up immediately and lose the title.

Crowbar vs. Reno

Daffney is all happy while Crowbar is depressed. Reno slugs away on him but Crowbar gets in some basic stuff, followed by a legdrop between the legs and a slingshot legdrop for two. Back up and Reno starts working on the arm, including lifting him up in an arm trap suplex. That earns Reno a jawbreaker as this is pretty back and forth so far. As the match is going on, Tony gets word that we’ll be having a wedding between David Flair and Miss Hancock on September 11. Oh geez I don’t want to know how bad this is going to get.

Reno gets low bridged to the floor but Crowbar flips over after him, only to hold on to the ropes so he can kick Reno in the head and then skin the cat. Well that was cool. A Vader Bomb off the barricade sets up a Lionsault back inside for two as the match is getting better. Naturally that means it’s time to go off the rails as Daffney freaks out because here’s her secret admirer…..who looks exactly like Crowbar. Daffney runs up and hugs him, distraction Crowbar so Reno can Roll the Dice for the pin.

Rating: C-. Of course. Instead of using one of the several dozen wrestlers on your roster, you bring in someone who looks like Crowbar because it’s funny or something. Either that or this is something that happened to Russo when he was a teenager and he needs to find a way to get it out of his system. Almost everything else involving a woman seems to be.

Crowbar gets beaten down until the look-a-like makes the save.

Nash tells Palumbo to take care of Vito and Booker.

Booker and Vito decide to take care of Nash and Palumbo.

Lieutenant Loco tries to get Disqo’s career on the line as well. I think we’ve got a running joke here.

Tank Abbott fires 3 Count but makes them his partners in an eight man tag tonight.

This week’s sitdown interview is with…..Midajah, who is in a neck brace after the attack by Goldberg last week. So this one is in character I guess? She got her start in fitness modeling but didn’t want to make her career by taking her clothes off in Playboy. Tenay says she’s a small woman in a man’s world but Midajah doesn’t want to hear it. Tenay: “Yeah I’ve heard it before. I am woman hear me roar right?”

Midajah talks about saving Tenay from Steiner’s attack a few weeks ago but Mike thinks she only did it to keep Steiner from being fined. That’s enough for Midajah as she calls Tenay a jerk and ends the interview. Tenay: “Good luck to you and your future in sports entertainment honey. You’re going to need it.” This really accomplished nothing, as I’m sure you expected. At least it didn’t make everyone feel stupid though so it’s getting better. Well that and making Tenay look like a jerk, which I’m sure makes him the face in this scene.

The Natural Born Thrillers jump Booker and Vito…..who easily fight them off with stick ball bats. These aren’t the brightest rookies.

Norman is really happy about getting to lose the title (why doesn’t he just vacate it?) when he runs into the Dark Carnival. Muta hits him in the throat and I’m sure you get the idea here.

3 Count/Tank Abbott vs. Dark Carnival

Before the match, Tank makes the three of them leave so he can sing a bit. Stevie doesn’t get the difference between a gigolo and a juggalo. Tank stands in a different corner than his partners as Shane is LAUNCHED across the ring with a release powerbomb. Vampiro kicks Evan in the face so Karagias sends him to the floor for a nice springboard plancha. Everything breaks down and the referee gets misted.

Tank is standing around watching all this happen as the Clowns double team Shannon with a Samoan drop into a guillotine legdrop. Now Tank comes in to start cleaning house, only to have 3 Count beat him down with baseball bats. Muta adds the moonsault for the pin. That’s it for Tank (at least in the ring) and I’m actually going to miss him. The guy is such a trainwreck that he’s fun to watch.

Skipper is on the phone with someone and says Awesome is in, meaning it’s going to be Rection against both of them tonight. Rection overhears.

Booker and Vito are ready for tonight.

Paisley challenges Gunns again. Did they forget already?

Hardcore Title: MI Smooth vs. Norman Smiley

Smiley is defending and this is an I Quit match. The bell rings and Norman lays down but can’t speak because of Muta hitting him in the throat. Smooth doesn’t get it and “hits” him with some stuff before actually hitting him with some stuff. Norman still can’t talk so Smooth pounds on him even more, only to have Smiley start fighting back out of self defense. A low blow with a kendo stick stops Smooth and Norman gets in his dancing, followed by a few trashcan shots. Smooth runs him over with a clothesline and a running seated senton. Smooth: “SAY I QUIT!” Referee: “What did you say???” Norman retains.

Rating: D. I remember watching this when it aired and yeah it’s kind of funny. It’s annoying that this is what Norman is stuck doing because they have no idea what else to do with him but at least they’re giving us some funny ideas. The problem here though is Norman has to lose the thing eventually and I have a feeling there will be a lot more jokes before we finally get to that point.

Skipper is on the phone again and says Rection took the money, making it Awesome who will be down two on one. As you might expect, Awesome overhears this and is livid.

Now Okerlund is trying to get Disqo’s career on the line, offering Viagra as a reward. That goes nowhere so he offers money, only to get thrown out.

Paisley vs. Major Gunns

Tygress is out for commentary but realizes she’s here for the wrong match, only to stay anyway. Tygress: “Tony you want to get a little filthy with me later?” It’s a catfight to start with Paisley talking a lot of trash. A handspring elbow crushes Gunns in the corner and it’s back to the catfight stuff. Gunns gets in a horrible looking slap but Tygress gets on the apron for a forearm, knocking her into a rollup to give Paisley the pin.

The Filthy Animals can’t get Disqo’s career on the line either. They leave Cat’s office and most of the locker room is waiting outside to be disappointed. Again, kind of funny.

Skipper tells Storm that the plan worked. Thanks for clarifying that for us.

Mike Sanders vs. Disqo Inferno

Remember that Disqo’s career is NOT on the line. For some reason Disqo sends the Animals to the back before elbowing Sanders out to the floor. Disqo actually follows up by sending him into the barricade a few times to keep Sanders in trouble. Back in and Sanders grabs a quick hot shot to send Disqo right back to the floor.

Mike slowly pounds away and grabs a suplex for two. He isn’t exactly strong on offense yet. Disqo fights up with all of his usual stuff, capped off by the Last Dance. Cue the Thrillers to attack the Animals (standing on the ramp) as Disqo gets two off a DDT. He tries it again, only to get reversed into the 3.0 to give Mike the pin.

Rating: D+. Better match than you would expect here as Disqo is right there in the Kwee Wee camp: a talented in ring guy who never had a chance to be taken seriously because of how stupid his gimmick really was. At least he got in some stuff here and wound up with a pretty nice career despite all those years of being stuck with a comedy character.

Nash yells at Palumbo because the Thrillers screwed up with Vito and Booker. Based on this, I’m thinking they’re totally fine.

US Title: Lance Storm vs. General Rection vs. Mike Awesome

Storm is defending, it’s one fall to a finish and both challengers think the other is in league with Lance. Before the match, Storm says he may have misjudged us. He was watching some of the political campaigning and there are some lofty goals in this country. Of course, those goals have already been accomplished in Canada. Therefore, the true American Dream (Storm: “If you will.”) is to become Canadian.

Mike and Rection get in each others’ faces before punching Storm because they’re actually smart. After a botched double clothesline, Rection holds Storm’s legs for an Awesome Splash. They switch places with Rection hitting a top rope elbow, followed by a pop up sitout powerbomb from Awesome.

Storm manages to stop both in a charge but there goes the referee. Cue Elix Skipper (who was clearly halfway to the ring before the ref got bumped, though it’s understandable given how badly Storm was getting destroyed) to low bridge Awesome and knock Rection out with the ring. The Maple Leaf on the unconscious Rection retains the title.

Rating: D+. Dang it WCW, cut this stuff out. They set up a nice little story with Skipper trying to play both guys but getting caught. Ok, that’s fine. That’s an idea that could go somewhere, especially before a triple threat. Instead of letting this story build up to a pay per view match with both guys thinking the other is evil (like Summerslam 92), they blow it off on the same night in a meaningless three minute match with interference from Skipper.

Stevie goes to be with his brother before this match.

Big Vito/Booker T. vs. Kevin Nash/Chuck Palumbo

Jarrett is on commentary despite not having anything to do with any of these people. Vito comes out first and is promptly beaten down, only to have Booker run in for the save. We officially start with Vito pounding on Palumbo before it’s off to Nash who gets some of the same from the stereotypical Italian.

That’s enough of that for Nash as he kicks Vito in the face to take over, just like he did on Monday. It’s time for Vito to get slowly beaten down as you would expect with Palumbo getting in some good ring time of his own. We get the required tag behind the referee’s back, meaning Booker is sent back to the apron. You really would think that would stop happening at some point over the years.

Not that it matters as Vito clotheslines Chuck down and tags out anyway, allowing Booker to come in and pound on Nash. Everything breaks down and Jarrett gets in the ring with the guitar (of course) to go after Booker’s knee, just as the Thrillers come in to beat down Vito as the show goes off the air.

Rating: D. This got more time than I was expecting but as soon as Jarrett was out there you knew the ending was going to be screwy. Ok to be fair you knew that as soon as you started watching a WCW show. I’m glad that Palumbo got in some offense but he could have been any of the Thrillers here.

Overall Rating: D. Some of this show’s one off ideas worked quite well for some short term comedy but I still have no desire to see much of the upcoming stuff (oddly enough save for Booker vs. Nash, which could be watchable). These shows are so much easier to sit through when they’re treated like wrestling shows (albeit infused with some comedy) instead of all the shooting that Nitro has throughout. It’s still not good, but this is much more dull than awful, which I’ll take in this case. Oh and no Goldberg in the city where he was born. Nice job guys.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Thunder
Date: August 16, 2000
Location: Riverside Coliseum, Kamloops, British Columbia, Canada
Attendance: 3,264
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Stevie Ray

With New Blood Rising out of the way, it’s time to crank up the horrible again as this past Monday went insane all over again. We’re building towards a double main event at Fall Brawl with Kevin Nash vs. Booker T. for the World Title and Goldberg vs. Scott Steiner in a battle of the monsters. Let’s get to it.

Kevin Nash is in the back when Rick Steiner comes up to argue about who should be the #1 contender. The solution: Nash vs. Steiner tonight. If Steiner wins, his brother gets the title shot. Well at least they’re not jobbing Scott again.

Team Canada arrives, minus Jacques Rougeau (allegedly over not wanting to do a job). Cat comes up to say it’s going to be Team Canada vs. three Americans. Can one of them please not be the Cat?

Kronik vs. Juggernaut/Ladies’ Choice/Michelle Starr/Rockford 2000

Jobbers of course and Kronik promises to beat them in less than two minutes. I don’t think this requires too much of an explanation as it’s total destruction with Clark taking them to the floor and powerbombing one onto the bodies of the other two. The full nelson slam and High Time pins Juggernaut in a hurry.

Post match the Harris Twins appear on the screen with a challenge before riding away on their bikes.

Mark Madden and Gene Okerlund are getting ready in the back. Yes they’re actually doing this.

Disqo can’t convince the Filthy Animals to let Mike Sanders join. He’d be better at talking than any of them so I don’t see their objection.

Vampiro yells at Muta and throws an ax.

Here’s David Flair to call out Miss Hancock. After a lot of lame lines about how amazing she is, David drops to a knee to propose. Before he can get the question out though, here’s MIA for no apparent reason to destroy him. Wall chokeslams him a few times before the team leaves. Hancock, ever the nice person, yells at David for screwing this up too and leaves, only to stop to dance a bit. Ok then.

The MIA says no one touches Major Gunns like David did on Monday. Tonight they’re going to war with Team Canada and Rection promises to bring the US Title back to America.

Crowbar and Daffney saw what happened to David but Daffney says she’s over him. This gives Crowbar hope but a guy comes up with candy and flowers for her from the secret admirer. She continues to be oblivious to Crowbar’s feelings for her. Given that Russo is writing, can we set a timer before Crowbar snaps and beats her up?

Rey Mysterio/Juventud Guerrera vs. Mark Jindrak/Sean O’Haire

I don’t think the titles are on the line here. Sanders is with the Animals here, or “Above Mike Average” according to Tony. Disqo lets Mike talk for a bit and gets a glare from Konnan. Juvy pounds on Jindrak in the corner to start but he gets caught in the wrong corner. On commentary, Konnan says any combination of the Animals can defend the titles. It’s quickly off to Mysterio vs. O’Haire with Rey charging into a powerslam as Tygress makes it a five person commentary booth.

Everything breaks down and Juvy uses Rey as a springboard to take Jindrak down and a bulldog does the same. Back up and Sean sends Rey in for a tilt-a-whirl side slam, followed by a backdrop to send Juvy outside. There’s the Seanton bomb to Rey and Sanders turns on Konnan (shocking), allowing Palumbo (no Stasiak) and Reno to come in and beat on the Animals for the DQ.

Rating: C-. The match was fine until the obvious and nonsensical ending. Was there any reason to have Sanders out there with the Animals in the first place if he was just going to turn on them a few minutes later? It was actually working because you had talented guys having a match but of course that wasn’t going to last around this time.

Okerlund asks Norman Smiley for help but Smiley is too busy trying to get out of the hardcore division. With no help coming, Gene thinks about doing a hurricanrana.

Tank Abbott is annoyed at 3 Count and tells them to get back to the studio to fix the new song. 3 Count doesn’t seem pleased but are you going to argue with Tank?

Demon vs. Great Muta

No Vampiro anywhere in sight to start. Muta fires off some kicks but charges into a boot in the corner. Demon slowly beats on Muta with his really lame offense, including a snapmare and suplex for two. Thankfully Muta, who is more uninterested here than horrible, comes back with his kicks and starts working on the knee. Cue Vampiro to make sure this doesn’t get interesting as Demon makes his comeback. Vampiro throws Muta a kendo stick, which the referee doesn’t seem to mind, to beat Demon down again. The dragon screw leg whip is broken up by an enziguri, only to have the green mist set up Muta’s moonsault for the quick pin.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as this story continues to bore everyone half to death. I have no idea why I’m supposed to care about Vampiro, Demon and Muta having these random matches against each other while Vampiro tries to be a less talented (and shorter) Undertaker. Another dull match though with Muta just going through the motions, though can you blame him?

Post match Demon gets beaten down some more and Vampiro promises to destroy Sting.

Someone knocks on Rick Steiner’s door but there’s no one there.

Madden insults Pamela and promises to beat up her sugar daddy tonight. Who knew Gene was loaded?

Misfits in Action vs. Team Canada

Rection/Loco/Cajun here. The fans go off on the Misfits for interrupting the Canadian national anthem which is still odd to see. Skipper can’t keep up with Cajun to start and gets caught in a quick suplex so it’s off to Loco and Carl (with his hard to spell last name, though apparently he’s now known as the Rage). A headscissors staggers Carl so he grabs Loco and hits one heck of a chokeslam to knock him silly.

It’s off to Skipper for a suplex before handing it to Storm for a great looking dropkick. Loco finally gets in a DDT to Storm and makes the hot tag off to Rection. Everything breaks down as Rection cleans house, including No Laughing Matter on Carl, only to have Skipper nail him with the Cruiserweight Title. Storm grabs the Maple Leaf to make Rection tap.

Rating: D+. Quick and mostly inoffensive here but there really isn’t much to see. Team Canada winning in Canada was the only option but the Misfits really aren’t the most interesting team in the world. Does anyone remember why they started in the first place at this point? Now they’re just a military themed midcard stable which has been done so many times before.

Post match Cat comes out and makes himself vs. Storm with the US Title and commissionership on the line.

US Title: The Cat vs. Lance Storm

Storm is defending so Cat elbows him in the face to start, only to dance too much and get caught in a sunset flip. A jawbreaker and shoulder (with Storm landing on his feet) drop Cat but he pops up with the Feliner. The referee takes his sweet time counting though, likely meaning Carl was late running to the ring with the Canadian flag for the DQ.

Cat promises vengeance on Nitro.

Rick Steiner yells at Pamela (why do people hate her so much?) and a piece of the set falls on him. Scott Steiner comes in to yell at people.

Mark Madden vs. Gene Okerlund

Let’s get this over with. Madden is in a Steelers jersey and says when he kills Okerlund, every coroner on the planet will swear it was old age. Gene is in what looks like a local hockey jersey, a Canada hat and sunglasses. They make it a street fight just because. Before the match, we have a posedown with Madden teasing taking his shirt off. A single forearm drops Mark but he comes back with a few chokes.

Cue Smiley but Carl (WAY too much of him tonight) cuts him off. This brings out Vito to fight Carl as Gene gives Madden a right hand for the most awkward two count of all time. Madden loads up a Vader Bomb but here’s Pamela to hit him low and give Gene the pin. Too short to rate but they kept this goofy enough to prevent this from being horrible.

Pamela kisses Gene during the celebration.

Here’s your weekly sitdown interview, this time with Jeff Jarrett. Jeff talks about wrestling being ahead of the curve for years and they’re right in the middle of that at the moment. He sees the problem as people learning to wrestle in six months at the Power Plant and then showing up on Nitro without learning how this business works. Quite true actually. The fans are the only ones that can change that but Jeff goes into a discussion of wrestlers who want it because they’ll put in the effort to learn every time they’re in the ring.

As for leaving the WWF, Jeff hasn’t looked back and knows it was the right decision. Jeff thinks WCW is starting to get it, even though they’re down right now. Tony brings up the New Blood Rising match and calls it the match of the year. Jeff doesn’t agree (good) and thinks he could have done better. The match was good and he respects Booker T., who should be a model of what wrestlers should be. Jeff wants to bring the workrate up in WCW but backstage issues have been causing them a lot of problems. Imagine what could happen if they kept going in the right direction.

This interview, while far less infuriating because Jeff was absolutely right on a lot of things he was saying, continues the trend of having no real point. Jarrett was out of character here, which probably confused most of the fans watching this. It made sense to me because I got what was going on, but most fans would have been wondering why he was so nonchalant about losing to Booker and wasn’t threatening Tony with a guitar.

In other words, these things continue to only entertain people who already know what Jarrett or others are talking about and really offer little to the masses. Hence why it’s longer than any match on the show, because that’s what these shows exist for: to entertain everyone other than the viewers at home.

Kidman tells Vito that he’ll have his back against Carl tonight. Apparently Vito vs. Reno is family business.

Big Vito vs. Carl Ouellet

Carl jumps him to start and gets in a quick slam, only to miss a middle rope legdrop. Vito hits his own legdrop, followed by a top rope elbow (still looks pretty good) for two. Back up and Carl grabs a powerslam but his top rope splash hits knees. A middle rope headbutt gets two more for Vito as they’re moving far better than you would expect here. They chop it out until Vito knees him in the ribs, setting up the inverted DDT for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. Much better than I was expecting here, even though I really didn’t need to see Carl involved in three different matches tonight. Vito isn’t ever going anywhere with his generic Italian character but he does seem to actually be working hard with it. Ouellet on the other hand needs to get out of here already as he’s just not that good.

Post match Reno comes in and Rolls the Dice on Vito, only to have Kidman come out and dropkick a chair into Reno’s face. Palumbo, O’Haire, Jindrak and Sanders run in and eventually lay Kidman out, only to have the Filthy Animals run in for the save. Storm and Skipper come in but are held off, only to have Mike Awesome run out to clear the villains away.

Rick Steiner is being taken away in an ambulance, apparently due to being hit with a pipe by Goldberg. Glad to know we didn’t have time to see that.

Here’s Kevin Nash for his weekly non-match. Hall isn’t here because they were out having a good time last night and he’s not recovered yet. So Scott is just traveling around the world, following WCW wherever they go? That’s rather sad. Nash isn’t going to bother calling out Goldberg tonight because he knows Bill is scared of him. That brings him to Booker, who he’ll take the title from at Fall Brawl. Cue Booker to disagree, even though he respects Nash. They’ll give the people what they want at Fall Brawl but Nash promises not to go after Booker tonight. They shake hands and Nash lays Booker out with the usual to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was actually one of the better Thunders in a good while despite the show just being there. Nothing on this show really mattered and they’re just kind of meandering towards Fall Brawl with no real direction. Now that being said, I’ll take a lame show over the horrible Nitros they’ve been airing anytime. Nothing on here was so bad that I didn’t want to keep watching (Madden vs. Okerlund was short and it involved Pamela) and there was very little shooting (angle wise at least) to mess it up. Somehow this passes for better in WCW these days though, which is just sad.

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Impact
Date: January 4, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Episode Title: Time For A Change
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

This is a show I’ve been asked to do for a long time and I could have sworn I did it live. It seems appropriate now with the possibility that Impact is ending its run on Spike. People have called this the beginning of the end, and I’m curious to see how poorly it holds up. I remember there being big problems when it was fresh but it could look a lot worse four and a half years later. Let’s get to it.

We open with a history of the company with a focus on the first show back in 2002 and the big names debuting. Naturally this all pales in comparison to Hogan arriving because the battle with WWE begins.

Theme song.

Tenay and Tazz run down the card.

Earlier today, new correspondent Bubba the Love Sponge, asked fans what they wanted to see. The general response: more wrestling, more of the old school, Hulk Hogan and mostly unclothed muscular men. Keep in mind that none of these people actually paid to get into this show.

Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley vs. Homicide vs. Kiyoshi vs. Jay Lethal vs. Consequences Creed vs. Suicide vs. Amazing Red

This is a Steel Asylum Xscape match, meaning it’s a BIG RED CAGE and the first person to climb out of a small hole in the top wins. The Guns (Shelley/Sabin), Lethal Consequences and Homicide/Kiyoshi are regular tag partners. Red is X-Division Champion but the title isn’t on the line. We immediately see the problem: there are eight people in the ring at once and the red bars are thicker than traditional cages, making it almost impossible to tell what’s going on inside.

Tenay tells us that Mick Foley couldn’t get through security to get in. Remember that because it’s going to be important later. It’s a huge brawl to start of course with various people climbing up and quickly being pulled back down. The fans are behind Shelley as he gets to the upper part of the cage (it’s shaped like a teapot with a lid instead of a regular cage) but Lethal makes a save before Alex can get to the hold.

Jay hits a Lethal Injection on Suicide but Kiyoshi (I think. You can barely tell) takes him down. The cameras are cutting away so fast that you can barely tell where everyone is. Suicide goes for the hole but Red makes a save. Well in theory as he kind of touches Red to get him down before diving at Sabin with a hurricanrana instead. Homicide busts out a baton and starts beating people……for a no contest. IN A CAGE MATCH.

Rating: F. None of the spots were anything special, the match ran less than five minutes, YOU COULDN’T SEE ANYTHING, AND IT WAS A FREAKING NO CONTEST IN A STEEL CAGE MATCH. Throw in that this was for nothing but bragging rights because the champion was in the match, meaning there wasn’t a title shot or anything like that up for grabs, and this was one of the worst opening matches I’ve seen in years.

The fans are rightfully livid, but we’re not done yet. Homicide goes climbing after the match is over….and he can’t get out. To be fair to him it’s a horrible design that a trapeze artist would have trouble getting out of but that’s why this was stupid. As Homicide is hanging upside down and trying not to die, the other guys get up so Homicide drops down to the mat.

They keep brawling until Jeff Hardy debuts (coming through the crowd because Hogan bringing him to the ring and saying “LOOK WHO I SIGNED” was too simple) and gets in a fight with Homicide outside (nearly falling over the bottom of the cage) of the ring. Jeff lays him out with a chair shot and Twist of Fate before climbing the outside of the cage and sitting on top. After tonight, he wouldn’t appear TNA for over two months.

Hardy and Shannon Moore are glad to see each other after a break.

Hulk Hogan is on the way, complete with a motorcade. Keep that in mind as well.

Kevin Nash makes sex jokes with Christy Hemme (no issue there) and says this is a great night for TNA and for Hogan himself. He talks about being mentored by Hogan and how good it’s going to be to have him back. Nash reiterates that Hogan is on his way and not alone.

Knockouts Title: ODB vs. Tara

ODB is challenging and Tara (coming out to the rocking BROKEN song) is actually wearing the belt. ODB takes over with some choking to start, followed by the fall away slam for two. Back up and Tara hooks the Tarantula followed by a slingshot flip legdrop for two of her own. The Widow’s Peak is countered into a rollup with a handful of trunks (and a cutaway because they come up a bit too high) to give ODB the title.

Rating: D. I forgot how good Tara looked at this point. The match was nothing to see though as it was mainly just a brawl for a few minutes until ODB cheated to win. This comes off like the US Express losing the Tag Team Titles to Volkoff and Sheik at the first Wrestlemania: give them something to make it historic. The similarities continue as Tara would get it back less than two weeks later.

Tara lays out the new champion and puts her spider on ODB’s face.

Ric Flair arrives in a big surprise and goes into World Champion AJ Styles’ locker room.

Earlier today Christy was talking to fans when Mick Foley arrived and tried to get in. He’s been barred from the arena though and doesn’t seem to care. Security stops him though and Mick just leaves.

Bobby Lashley and his girlfriend Kristal come out with something to say. A loud BOBBY chant cuts Kristal off as she tries to talk about how big of a night this is. She says Bobby wants Hogan to know what a big star he is and how no one can handle him. Unlike MMA, wrestling is full of inbred degenerates that people like Lashley have to put up with. Lashley has asked for his release because they have more important things to do. Both would be gone before the end of the month.

The Beautiful People are playing strip poker because that’s what good looking women do. Notice the Five Hour Energies (sponsor) on the table. On the other hand, ignore that Lacey claims to have a flush but seems to have four hearts and a diamond.

Scott Hall (looking BOMBED. DDP truly is a miracle worker) and Sean Waltman beat up security but get stopped.

Hogan is still coming.

After a break the limos have stopped outside the Impact Zone. Someone gets out of one limo and gets into the other one.

Hall and Waltman get into the arena.

It’s 9pm so here’s Hulk in black. Brooke is of course in the front row. Hogan immediately puts over the roster and the locker room for working as hard as they have. Now we get the infamous line from this promo: “I’ve been in the back all day.” Remember that this is after AN HOUR OF WATCHING HIM DRIVE TO THE BUILDING. That line was edited out of the rebroadcast of the show and it’s painful to hear all over again.

Hogan talks about how many new and familiar faces there are here. As he’s talking, Hall and Waltman try to get to the ring. Hogan says give them a mic and let them get in the ring. Hall and Hogan do the Wolfpack sign and Hall says the party is back. The boss tells him that’s not how it works anymore. Waltman thinks it’s the same people so it’s the same party, but Hogan shoots him down too. In a laughable line, Hogan says it’s time to grow up.

Hall says everything is changing, with or without Hogan. Wait so is everything changing or is everything the same? Nash comes out and wants to know what’s going on, but Hulk insists he’s not playing a role. Hogan says they need to do this FOR REAL because it’s a different time. Hall and Waltman are ready to fight but Eric Bischoff debuts and says they reinvented this business. Dixie Carter is shown watching from the crowd.

Bischoff says this is all about communication and that has broken down recently. Everyone has to earn their position in this company, which Nash hears loud and clear. Nash, Hall and Waltman leave and Bischoff again claims that they can change the business again. Hogan says they’ve shuffled the deck as Dixie cautiously applauds. Bischoff rips up the format sheet to show how different things are going to be. He hands the producer a new format because they’re turning this company upside down. So this basically boiled down to the same “this is new” promo that every indy company starts with.

Sting is shown watching from the rafters.

Knockouts Tag Team Titles: Awesome Kong/Hamada vs. Sarita/Taylor Wilde

Hamada and Kong are challenging. Sarita armdrags Hamada down a few times to start as we cut to the back to see the Motor City Machineguns laid out. Kong comes in and starts cleaning house but Taylor kicks Hamada out to the floor. The champions double team Kong to the floor and hit stereo dives to take the villains out as we take a break.

Back with Hamada hitting a running basement dropkick for two on Sarita. Taylor comes in and is promptly destroyed by Kong with ease. Hamada gets in some shots of her own and it’s back to Kong, who actually allows the hot tag to Sarita. The challengers catch a top rope cross body with ease but Taylor makes the save. Kong drops Sarita with a spinning backfist and an Awesome Bomb with Hamada adding a missile dropkick gives us new champions.

Rating: C. I liked this better than I thought I would but I always liked Hamada. There’s no story here of course but then again there never were with these belts. This title reign didn’t mean much either as Hamada and Kong would be stripped of the titles when Kong left the company due to an altercation with Bubba the Love Sponge.

The Beautiful People are still playing cards when Sean Morely shows up in a towel. He wants to deal.

Security still won’t let Foley into the arena. He’s in the building now at least. Foley leaves and the Nasty Boys debut but can’t get in either. Allegedly this was a rib by Bischoff and Hogan for fans who would ask where the Nasty Boys were.

Matt Morgan/Hernandez vs. Raven/Dr. Stevie

Carbon Footprint ends Stevie in thirty seconds. Apparently this was a #1 contenders match.

D’Angelo Dinero is ready for Desmond Wolfe when Orlando Jordan (not named here) debuts and asks if they’ve seen Hogan. Pope isn’t happy. Somehow this took like three and a half minutes.

D’Angelo Dinero vs. Desmond Wolfe

Wolfe throws Dinero around to start and goes after the arm with a flying hammerlock. The arm is sent into the buckle but Dinero comes back with a knee in the corner and a Vader Bomb elbow. The fans think that THIS IS WRESTLING as Pope escapes the Tower of London and small packages Wolfe for the pin out of nowhere. Too short to rate but the fact that TNA didn’t even bother saying Wolfe was awesome tells you everything you need to know about it.

Jeff Jarrett arrives.

Rhino is down in the back. Bubba the Love Sponge shows up and says he’ll get to the bottom of this.

The announcers recap the evening and we get a clip of Hogan debuting.

AJ Styles is excited about Hogan arriving and is ready for his match with Angle at Genesis so he can prove how great he is. Bischoff comes in and makes AJ vs. Angle for the title tonight.

Jeff Jarrett makes his big return to the Impact Zone and thanks the fans for being here. He founded TNA seven years ago and the fans said they wouldn’t last six months. Instead he’s sitting here in a six sided ring on a Monday night. He spent years trying to get Hogan here and now the time is right.

Jarrett talks about doing good and bad things, but the best thing he’s done is bring in people like Beer Money, Daniels, Samoa Joe and AJ Styles. The best is yet to come….and Hogan cuts him off. Hogan talks about how Jarrett ran the country into the ground and how he and Bischoff are here to save it. Hogan is now Dixie’s partner and he’ll take TNA to the top. Jarrett has no power and needs to lace up his boots and be ready.

Let’s stop to recap this for a second. Hogan and Bischoff came into the company as good guys. This should be obvious given how they were hyped up. Jarrett didn’t show a single bit of heelishness in the promo and it was all for the fans. They were into it as well, and then Hogan cuts him off at the knees like a heel. It didn’t come off like a heel turn, but rather Hogan talking to a heel.

Was TNA expecting Jarrett’s promo to get booed? I have no idea why as there wasn’t anything but sucking up to the fans in it, nor do I have any idea why Hogan has to oppose Jarrett. Yeah Jarrett did some stupid stuff in real life, but what does that have to do with his on screen character? In theory it’s more of Hogan’s blurring the lines stuff and this is a good example of how bad it can look.

Daniels is in the back when JB interrupts him (a recurring trend tonight). Apparently Foley is still trying to get in and convinces Borash to open a door. Foley finally gets in and wants a meeting with Hogan.

Jeff Hardy is painting but Shannon Moore says the big man called. They leave.

Abyss vs. Samoa Joe

This is the sixth match of the night and these are the second and third people still actually with the company just four and a half years later. Actually, so far the only people we’ve seen still with the company are the announcers, Christy, JB, Lashley (who was gone for a four year stretch), Homicide, Joe, two Beautiful People, Hardy and Abyss. That’s eleven people out of probably thirty or forty still around and only seven are active wrestlers. That’s an INSANE turnaround in less than five years.

Joe hammers him down in the corner to start and hits a quick Facewash for good measure. They head outside and Abyss has to duck a chair being pelted at his head. Back in and Abyss slams him down but charges into a boot to the face. We see Sting watching from the back. Joe follows it up with a middle rope boot to the chest for two. An enziguri staggers Abyss but he chokeslams Joe down with ease. The referee gets bumped and Joe nails Abyss with a chair, setting up the Clutch for the submission.

Rating: C-. Decent power brawl here but more than that it was nice to see a match get nearly five minutes without anything interrupting it. Oh wait there was the Sting deal. I knew it was too good to be true. The match didn’t mean anything but that’s par for the course on this show.

Bischoff is editing the new format when Kristal comes up and demands a meeting with Hogan. Eric tells her to take a number and wait in line.

Now Beer Money has been attacked. Bubba thinks he knows who did it.

The Nasty Boys still can’t get in so Bubba comes in and says let them in.

Kurt Angle (the eighth person still on the roster) says he’s been waiting to get his hands on AJ since September.

Jeff Hardy and Shannon Moore get envelopes (presumably contracts) when some teenage girls come up. Jeff gives them the painting and they scream a lot.

The Nasty Boys trash Team 3D’s locker room. Team 3D would lose the showdown on PPV.

TNA World Title: AJ Styles vs. Kurt Angle

AJ is defending. Angle quickly suplexes out of a headlock as the fans are split on what to do. Kurt goes outside and gets taken down by a big flip dive to finally give the fans something good to cheer for. A masked man comes in and attacks AJ but Angle helps get rid of him to save his title shot. Angle nails a buckle bomb and we take a break. Back with AJ nailing some shots to the face and hitting the AA into a backbreaker.

The springboard forearm is caught in an overhead belly to belly but AJ escapes the Angle Slam. A catapult sends AJ into the buckle and it’s time to roll some Germans. He’s able to escape the Slam again but Angle counters the Pele into the ankle lock. AJ rolls out and hits another Pele for two with Angle getting into the ropes. Now the Angle Slam connects for two but Angle walks into the springboard forearm to put both guys down. The champion takes his time getting to the top, allowing Angle to run the ropes for the belly to belly.

This time it’s Kurt going up but missing a frog splash. There’s the Styles Clash for two but Kurt is able to fight out of a superplex attempt. The frog splash lands for two and Angle is getting ticked off. Another Angle Slam is countered into a DDT, drawing a WHO NEEDS BRET chant (Bret was returning to the WWE on Raw). Angle rolls out of another Clash attempt but can’t get the ankle lock.

A springboard into the reverse DDT gets two for the champion. AJ takes too long going up this time so Angle hits something like the Angle Slam off the top for two. I remember buying that as the finish back in the day. The ankle lock is countered with Kurt being sent into the buckle and a second Styles Clash gets two. Angle rolls through a third Styles Clash attempt and grabs the ankle lock with the grapevine.

AJ becomes one of the only people to escape the hold as Flair comes out to watch. Styles suplexes him down and hits a springboard 450 for two. We take another break and come back with AJ in what looks like a triangle choke. He powers up but gets caught in the ankle lock, only to counter into a third Styles Clash. A second springboard 450 is enough to retain AJ’s title.

Rating: A-. Awesome main event here but unfortunately it came at the end of a horrible show. There were a ton of great near falls in there and I loved that AJ escaped the hold that Angle spent the entire match trying to grab. Flair meant nothing and Daniels meant even less. Oh Daniels was the masked man in case you were wondering. Odds are you forgot though, just like TNA apparently did as he wasn’t mentioned after the first two minutes of the match.

Hogan comes out to applaud and give his seal of approval but there’s another interruption. Foley is breaking up the poker game (remember that?) and demanding to know where Hogan is. Because THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE AND VAL VENIS are the first people you would ask. He goes into Bischoff’s locker room and they go back and forth a bit with Foley saying he wants to stay. Hall, Nash and Waltman come in and lay him out, revealing themselves to be the attackers all night long. Shocking I know. Hogan comes in and sees what happened to close the show.

Overall Rating: D-. I can’t call a show with that good of a main event a failure. That being said, that’s the extent of the good stuff about this show. Let’s see. TNA brags about having the best young roster in the world. Ok, that’s cool. Let’s look at how it was utilized tonight. The opening match is one of the biggest disasters I’ve ever seen. Seriously, it’s that bad. Hardy didn’t make things better as he got on my nerves with one of about two million stories going on throughout the night.

Moving on, Tara vs. ODB was too short to mean much but it was nothing special. The other Knockouts match was better, but is that really the match you want getting the second most time all night? Yeah it was watchable but this is supposed to be TNA’s grand showcase show, not any other episode of Impact. I’ll give the girls a pass for this show, but they were really just passable at best.

As for the up and comers, Morgan and Hernandez got about thirty seconds, Pope had a nothing match against one of the best wrestlers in the company who might as well have been any given jobber, and two former World Champions had a four and a half minute match that didn’t mean anything. The main event was indeed great because it was given time to be great, but it didn’t make up for everything else.

Let’s look at the backstage segments. I don’t hate him nearly as much as some do, but Bubba the Love Sponge is as big a waste of space as anyone I’ve seen in a good while. A handful of people might know him, but if you think he was hired for anything other than being Hogan’s friend you’re missing the point. His main story throughout the night was either letting in the Nasty Boys (more on them later) or saying “Yep, these young guns have been knocked out cold. I think I know who did it but I’m not going to tell anyone.”

That brings me to all the old people being brought in to take spots from younger people. Aside from Hogan, Bischoff and the NWO guys, we had Val Venis, Orlando Jordan, the Nasty Boys, Ric Flair, Jeff Hardy and Shannon Moore debut. Of those six full time wrestlers, only Hardy and MAYBE Flair should have been signed. It doesn’t help that Venis, Hardy, Jordan and the Nasty Boys all won their debut matches, making the TNA guys look second rate as a result.

That’s the line to sum up this whole show: the newcomers made TNA guys look second rate. The old guys’ stories looked more important (all 19 million of them), they were treated like bigger stars, they got more time, and their stories all made little to no sense. Also, they can all be summed up as “let the old times roll!” That’s the extent of the main story: the NWO guys want to be the NWO again and Hogan is split over loyalties. Tell me: how does this make TNA look good? It comes off as Hulk N Pals using TNA as a playground instead of actually making them look better.

The whole show came off as “step aside kids and let the big boys show you how it’s done.” Unfortunately, those old guys aren’t all that interesting anymore because they haven’t meant much in about ten years. The problem with that is the same thing that has plagued TNA for years: they would rather be a nostalgia promotion rather than something new. It’s fine once in awhile, but when it’s all you’ve got, it stops being fun and becomes a promotion built around old guys that a lot of fans have no connection to. If you’re under about twenty, this show holds no appeal to you as far as nostalgia goes and that isn’t going to work long term.

This show was a disaster with almost nothing going right. The debuts (other than Hardy and the shock value of Flair) came off like the last minute hires to fill in a roster, the matches were bad save for the main event, and the stories were all over the place. It didn’t make me want to watch any more and the whole thing was just a mess. TNA would waste a few more years on Hogan and Bischoff before they left with more damage than anyone could solve.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Nitro #170
Date: January 4, 1999
Location: Georgia Dome, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 38,809
Commentators: Larry Zbyszko, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay

We had to get here eventually. This is the show that a lot of people people credit with putting WCW down a hole that it was never going to get out of. The main event here is Goldberg vs. Nash II for Nash’s World Title, but the major story coming out of last week is Flair winning control of the company for 90 days by defeating Eric Bischoff. I’m sure that will go perfectly smoothly. Let’s get to it.

We open with dramatic clips from Goldberg vs. Nash at Starrcade.

Nitro Girls in the ring and we get balloons and confetti.

There’s a Nitro Party in a suite.

Hogan is here tonight.

Glacier vs. Hugh Morrus

The announcers go on about the end of last week’s show and explain why Savage would want to hurt Bischoff (Bischoff helped the NWO destroy Savage’s knee in a cage last year). Glacier’s now in a shorter singlet and the look really doesn’t work. Morrus throws him down to start until Glacier cranks on the arm to take over. Hugh grabs a powerslam and both guys are down. Glacier legsweeps him down but gets leveled with a clothesline, setting up No Laughing Matter to give Morrus the pin. Not long enough to rate but a nice return for Morrus after a few months off.

The announcers talk about Flair a bit more.

Opening sequence, finally with some new video.

Arn Anderson, Ric Flair and the Flair Family walk from the parking lot into the arena. A lot of the backstage workers applaud Flair on the way to the ring. They finally make it to the ring with Benoit, Mongo and Malenko joining Anderson and the Flairs. Ric talks about Eric Bischoff ruining this company but it still being the greatest wrestling company in the world. The people have been asking what Flair is going to do to Bischoff on his first night. Flair tells Eric to get out here right now to talk to the boss.

An angry Bischoff gets in the ring and Flair says the shoes are on different feet tonight. Flair talks about Eric insulting him over the years on commentary and running down Ric’s career. The easy thing would be for Flair to just fire Bischoff, but that wouldn’t be fun. Instead, Bischoff is going to be working under Tony Schiavone and doing commentary. Also since Bischoff won’t be visible on commentary, his pay is cut in half. Next up for Flair is referee Randy Anderson. Randy, stricken with cancer, was fired by Bischoff about two years ago. Flair calls him to the ring and offers him his job back at double the salary.

With Flair still in the ring, Tony walks Bischoff through the segment list. Bischoff’s disgusted reply is amusing. This leaves Flair with his first match to make. He’ll start with Souled Out, where he’s booking himself into a handicap match with Barry Windham and Curt Hennig. David Flair steps up and asks to be his father’s partner in the match. Ric says David isn’t ready but Arn says David knows what he’s doing.

Booker T. vs. Emery Hale

The needling continues with Tony telling Eric to jump in at any time. Hale jumps Booker to start and stomps away in the corner, only to charge into a spinebuster. The side kick sets up the missile dropkick and Hale is done in less than 90 seconds. Eric still hasn’t talked other than one sentence.

Nitro Girls.

Bischoff is looking away with his feet on the desk. Tony: “Don’t make me file a report with Mr. Flair.

Norman Smiley vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Chavo fires off chops to start and dropkicks Norman out to the floor. Eric still won’t talk. Back in and Norman runs Chavo over but stops to glare at Pepe. A World’s Strongest Slam gets two on Guerrero but he comes back with a few rollups for two each. The Big Wiggle allows Chavo to dropkick him down and now Chavo dances some as well. Chavo botches a springboard and then slightly botches a rollup for two. Back up and Guerrero grabs a sunset flip for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match was just there for background noise as Chavo is still doing the same stuff he’s done for months now. Smiley is still over but I’m not sure why you would have him lose a match like this. I mean, this man was on Starrcade! Nothing to see here but it’s the first hour of Nitro so what do you expect?

Norman beats up Chavo and breaks Pepe’s head off to turn into a serious heel rather than a goofy one.

Chris Benoit vs. Horace Hogan

Benoit gets a jobber’s entrance. Horace gets beaten down in the corner but comes back with a running clothesline. Another clothesline misses and Benoit rolls some Germans as Tony threatens to demote Eric to the international broadcasts. Horace throws Benoit out to the floor and drives him into the barricade in a nice crash.

Back in and a clothesline gets two for Horace before Tony rubs it in that Randy Anderson is referee. Horace goes up but gets superplexed down. The Swan Dive connects but Benoit is holding his head instead of covering. Horace gets two off a shoulder breaker but his suplex is countered into the Crossface to give Benoit the win.

Rating: C-. Not the worst match in the world and it’s nice to see Benoit survive until the end. Horace wasn’t terrible as a big guy for roles like this and the match worked well enough. That Swan Dive continues to make me cringe though as Benoit’s head just smacked off Horace.

And now it begins. Goldberg is arrested for charges that aren’t explained yet. He goes on a rant about all the good things he does for this community. Goldberg talks more here than he has in his entire time in the company. No charge is ever mentioned but he eventually goes “downtown.”

After a break, Goldberg is taken to a police car. Nash says this can’t happen because they have a match tonight. Hogan shows up and laughs, saying he’s an honest man and calling Goldberg guilty. He’ll appreciate Nash’s vote too. As he walks by, Liz is seen talking to cops.

Perry Saturn vs. Chris Jericho

Feeling out process to start with Saturn slapping Jericho in the face. Referee Scott Dickinson, who has been having issues with Saturn lately, yells at Saturn about throwing a punch. They trade wristlocks with Saturn getting the better of it before heading to the corner. A release overhead belly to belly sends Jericho flying and Saturn fires off kicks in the corner.

Saturn goes to the apron and Jericho nails the springboard dropkick to send him out to the floor. Chris does the long strides but there’s nowhere near as much energy to it. We take a break and come back with Jericho nailing a belly to back suplex followed by its vertical cousin for an arrogant two. Satur’s Death Valley Driver doesn’t work but a t-bone suplex gets two on Jericho. The referee gets hit in the jaw by mistake before Jericho pulls him in the way of a diving Saturn. A low blow and the Lionsault sets up the Liontamer but Dickinson calls for the bell before Jericho turns him over. Jericho wins.

Rating: C-. This corrupt referee nonsense is getting annoying in a hurry, just like Saturn getting beaten all the time. Jericho knew he was leaving at this point and it was clear that he didn’t have the same energy. He’s still doing his old standards but a lot of them are really lackluster.

We go to the police precinct, which Tony points out “is across the street at the CNN Center.” Remember that as it becomes important later. They’ll be in room three as the cameras are already waiting for them. Apparently Goldberg is being charged with aggravated stalking by Elizabeth Lebetski, more commonly known as Miss Elizabeth. Goldberg knows the cop and tells him to do his job because the cop knows this is bogus. I believe the charges were originally going to be rape but Goldberg refused to do it.

Nitro Girls. Larry gets in a good line about how these are real women, as opposed to Liz who has tried to be a Miss five times now.

Back to the Nitro Party where we’ve got thumb wrestling. Like as a featured event. A JAIL BREAK chant starts up.

We go back to the station where Liz is being interviewed. She says Goldberg last confronted her at the water cooler. Liz says she’s filed three reports already because Goldberg has been at every show she’s been at, at the hotels and at the gym. Again, this is more talking than she’s ever done in WCW. The detective goes off to talk with his partner.

Here’s a long segment of an LWO party with low riders, a lot of women and Eddie running things. They head inside for dancing to mariachi dancing and Eddie says he’s on top of the Latino world. Now there’s a card game with Eddie trading cards with other LWO members to win. Eddie says they’re united together and that’s about it. This ran nearly four minutes.

Kidman/Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Psychosis/Juventud Guerrera

Tornado match. Well in name only as they start with tags. Psychosis nails an early backbreaker on Kidman before it’s off to Juvy who gets dropkicked a few times. Off to Rey for a nice top rope hurricanrana before he throws Juvy at Kidman for the sitout powerbomb. Rey pulls Juvy out to the floor but Psychosis gets in a shot of his own, setting up a slingshot legdrop to the floor to crush Rey.

Back in and Psychosis nails a top rope ax handle as Heenan asks Bischoff if he remembers calling the early shows with Mongo. Tony promises to deliver the World Title match they advertised. Juvy hits a backbreaker of his own on Mysterio before it’s back to Psychosis who gets dropkicked out of the air.

Everything breaks down which Tony says is perfectly legal. Kidman and Mysterio clothesline the LWO outside for big planchas off the top. Back in and a springboard Doomsday Device of all things gets two on Psychosis but Juvy comes back with the Driver for two on Mysterio. Everything breaks down again and Kidman’s missile dropkick accidentally hits Rey, allowing Psychosis to hit the guillotine legdrop for the pin on the masked man.

Rating: C+. This was the fun you expect from these kind of matches, but the tornado stuff was some combination of unnecessary and confusing. The referee and wrestlers didn’t seem to know it was under tornado rules but Tony kept insisting it was. It’s interesting to see some drama between Rey and Kidman as a match between the two could be awesome.

Goldberg has an explanation for why he’s always at the same places Elizabeth: they work for the same company and she’s a member of the gym he owns. The fact that they work together comes as a surprise to the detective.

Here’s Nash to address the Goldberg situation. He doesn’t think he beat Goldberg at Starrcade because Goldberg got screwed that night. Nash doesn’t buy the stories Liz is telling and thinks Hogan is behind it. Therefore, Nash wants Hogan tonight as a warmup for later tonight when he fights Goldberg. Flair comes out and says if Goldberg can’t make the match, Hogan can take his place.

Video on Goldberg vs. Nash.

Liz tells the original detective’s partner the story but the details are different (Coke machine instead of water cooler). The original detective comes back in. Goldberg calls her all the time but hangs up before anything is said. The detectives don’t ask how she knows it’s him and Liz rants about being the victim.

Here’s Hogan in a black suit with something to say. Hogan says the wrestling world still revolves around him but he came here to announce his retirement. He’s also going to announce his running mate but seeing Goldberg made him sick. Hogan thinks he owes the fans a retirement match so he’ll give them one tonight. Gene says the match would be a title match so Hogan agrees.

Schiavone: “Fans, if you’re even thinking about changing the channel to our competition, fans do not. We understand that Mick Foley, who wrestled here one time as Cactus Jack, is going to win their World Title.”

I get the idea WCW was going for with this line and the idea makes sense to a degree, but when you think about it there’s much more potential for harm than good. On the other hand, giving away results worked for WCW in the past so it’s logical to do it again, even in very different circumstances. The idea of one show being taped as opposed to live doesn’t make much of a difference to me though. A show being live or taped doesn’t matter if the show is still horrible.

We get a clip of Jericho praising Scott Dickinson earlier in the day and saying a wrestler should never touch a referee. Jericho says Saturn should get disqualified if he ever touches Dickinson again. Was this really necessary?

TV Title: Scott Steiner vs. Konnan

Both name graphics say Television Champion even though Scott is defending. Before the match, Buff dances a bit and fakes a heart attack to mock Flair. Konnan starts fast but gets taken down by a single forearm to the back. Some right hands in the corner and a clothesline put Steiner down and the fight heads to the floor. Tony repeats the Cactus Jack line and actually says HA HA at the thought of Foley winning the title.

Buff gets in some cheap shots on the floor before Scott stomps on Konnan’s head back inside. The announcers spend about half the match talking about how Bischoff isn’t going to say anything and about the Goldberg issues. Konnan comes back with a tornado DDT (looked more like he was trying a small package) before missing the rolling lariat and botching the X-Factor. Bagwell comes in for the DQ before the Sunrise can go on.

Rating: F. They botched a bunch of spots, I had to listen to unfunny jabs at Bischoff, and the HA HA line. Terrible match with commentary making it even worse.

Post match Konnan gets beaten down with a chair.

The announcers talk about the Goldberg situation. Tony again mentions that the precinct is across the street. Eric: “Goldberg is jail bait.”

Wrath comes out and actually grabs a mic. He’s been destroying people for six months and wants anyone in the back to come out here and take a beating.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Wrath

They stare each other down to start with Wrath’s shots only having a limited effect. A running clothesline puts Bigelow down but he low bridges Wrath to the floor. They head back inside with Bigelow nailing some elbows to the back of the head. Outside again with Wrath taking over with knees to the ribs. Bigelow sends him into the barricade and back into the ring before grabbing a chair. The referee moves the chair and the distraction lets Wrath nail a backdrop. They head outside for the third time and the referee goes down, causing him to throw the match out.

Rating: D+. Take two guys and let them beat each other up for awhile. It was barely a match and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s nice to see Wrath get to hang with someone of Bigelow’s caliber, even though this is a demotion for Bigelow. At least they dropped the idea of him not being on the roster.

They brawl to the back.

Back and the precinct, the detectives start poking holes in Liz’s story as she can’t remember details. The fact that she can’t remember the difference between water and Coke (or Pepsi, which she said she got out of a Coke machine), says a lot about Liz’s abilities. She keeps looking at her watch as she gets the color of Goldberg’s tights wrong. They threaten to charge her with perjury and Liz realizes she had the wrong wrestler.

Tony is aghast at these developments.

We’ve got roughly forty minutes left in the broadcast for Goldberg to get back to the arena.

Nitro Girls.

Bischoff waves to the camera as the announcers talk about the World Title match later tonight. Bobby says Goldberg will come to the arena without his clothes if need be.

Brian Adams vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Anderson calls for the bell, starts counting Adams on the floor, then calls for the bell again to start the match. Adams hides in the corner to start but Page hammers away with rights and lefts. Brian bails to the floor so Page dives over the top rope to take out both Adams and Vincent. There’s barely any selling though as Adams stomps away back inside to take over.

We come back from a break with Page fighting out of a chinlock as Tony brags about it being live again. A swinging neckbreaker puts Adams down but Brian nails a low blow in the corner to stop Page cold. We hit a bearhug and Eric says “by golly” for no apparent reason. Adams gets two off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker but Page grabs his running DDT to put both guys down. Page nails a quick clothesline and goes to the middle rope for a jumping Diamond Cutter and the pin.

Rating: C. The ending looked good but could have looked great had they stuck the landing (Page partially landed on his legs instead of his back but it was fine). Adams is good int his role as he has a few good powre moves and seems like a moderately difficult dragon for a hero to slay.

Goldberg is released from custody as we go to a break. We’ve got roughly twenty minutes left in the show and he made it from the arena to the station in less than ten minutes by car earlier.

WCW World Title: Kevin Nash vs. Hollywood Hogan

Nash is defending of course. Hogan is in street clothes and has Scott Steiner with him. Nash counters with Scott Hall, whose actions at Starrcade are apparently forgiven. The bell rings, Nash rips his shirt off, Hogan circles him for a bit, Nash says bring it and shoves Hogan into the corner, and the finger to the chest gives Hogan the title at 1:40.

Goldberg arrives less than 30 seconds later as Bischoff is already gloating. That’s not terrible as far as him getting back to the arena in a reasonable time. Goldberg hits the ring and kicks down everyone not named Hogan. Some of the weakest belt shots ever have Goldberg on one knee but he’s right back up to spear (almost zero impact) Hogan down. Luger comes out to break up the Jackhammer and the huge beatdown is on. Goldberg gets put in the Rack before being cuffed to the ropes.

Hall busts out the shock stick to jab into Goldberg’s side (with Bischoff providing sound effects). Goldberg gets the red spray paint treatment on his back and black on his head. Hogan spray paints a red NWO on the belt to close the show. Tony in a defeated voice: “They’re back together. Again.”

Overall Rating: D+. That’s omitting the big angle. This show just wasn’t very good for the most part with the usual array of boring Nitro matches that either meant anything or were nothing we hadn’t seen before. As usual the cruiserweight match was good but with Eddie being gone, it really doesn’t mean anything. This was far more boring than bad.

Then there’s the moment that people still talk about over fifteen years later. The idea of having Goldberg have to run through a bunch of opponents to get the title back is a good idea. Unfortunately, that’s about the extent of the good to this story. Let’s look at this one item at a time.

1. Why did Nash do this? He won the title fairly (remember that Starrcade was No DQ) and had the belt free and clear. Out of loyalty to Hogan? A man who as far as we knew, he had split with about nine months ago? We’ll come back to this later, but for now it brings us to the first major issue with this.

2. The title looks worthless. Nash had it all to himself and then he literally handed it over to Hogan, basically saying “I don’t want this. Here you take it.” If a big star like Nash says it’s worthless, why would I want to see anyone else fight for it in the future? How do I know that they won’t just hand it off to someone they think deserves it more?

3. Back to the first point, we could assume either it’s a massive swerve and that there never was a real split or the problems between the NWO camps were hashed out somewhere in between. Either way, it makes pretty much everything since May look completely pointless. The NWO factions going to war? All patched up. The bickering and people jumping from team to team? Doesn’t matter. Nash talking about how the Red and Black is forever and the Black and White was just for life? Nothing more than another catchphrase. Now everything is back where it was when Savage took the title from Sting and then lost it to Hogan the next night. That brings us to possibly the biggest problem of this whole thing.

4. IT’S HOGAN AGAIN. At the end of the day, Hogan is standing tall as champion with his army around him and it’s likely going to be months before anyone can challenge him. Yeah we’ve got Flair and Goldberg on WCW’s side and one faction is done, but we’re basically back to some point in 1997 instead of going forward.

5. While it’s not directly related to the story, the Foley match getting free advertising makes things even worse. If this is just a normal week in the Monday Night Wars, you could have watched one or the other. If you see the Foley title win, it’s an emotional moment with a new star being made and probably the loudest moment ever in wrestling. On the other hand, you have WCW doing the same stuff they’ve done for years with the same people on top and the same story being set up that we spent all of the better part of two years going through. If you don’t have that comparison to make, what happens on Nitro is nowhere near as bad.

Overall, it just wasn’t a well thought out move. There’s a nice idea at the end, but the rest of the story just does not work. Hogan just wasn’t what people wanted to see again and when you combine this with Bischoff beating Flair eight days ago, it was clear that the company wasn’t interested in listening to what the people were wanting. The time for the NWO being on top had passed, but WCW decided to go back to the well again. I understand that it worked once, but it wasn’t working this time.

To answer a question that is often asked, no, this wasn’t what killed WCW. It was a moment that hurt them, but overall the company had a lot more moments to come that would hurt and ultimately kill them. An important thing to keep in mind was that Nitro had won a night in the ratings wars less than three months ago. The WWF had been in far worse shape than this at times and it was hard to tell how much more steam Austin vs. McMahon had at this point. It didn’t turn out well for WCW, but they still had a lot more chances to make a comeback in the future.

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