Monday Night Raw – January 25, 2016: They’re Always Watching

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 25, 2016
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re officially on the Road to Wrestlemania with a new WWE World Champion in HHH, who entered the Royal Rumble as the surprise #30 entrant. There’s a lot of time for changes in the next few weeks though as Fastlane is in less than a month. Also, WWE has advertised a major star making his return tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Reigns in the Rumble and the ending. I do love the fact that the League beat him down but was too busy carrying off a TV monitor (What was that anyway?) to bother THROWING HIM IN AND OVER THE TOP for an elimination but cocky heels will be cocky heels.

Vince and Stephanie strut to the ring to open things up. They’re very happy because it’s the night after the Royal Rumble and they’ve broken Roman Reigns. Just like everyone here, Reigns is going to tuck his tail between his legs and run away hiding because he’s a broken man with no title. Vince confesses to take joy in the misery of others and Reigns is now more miserable than everyone.

Last night they had the fans eating out of the palm of their hands because all the false hope about Brock Lesnar, AJ Styles and Roman Reigns was a waste of time because they knew who #30 was going to be. This brings out HHH (after a huge batch of praise from Stephanie of course) who says it’s good to be the king. Roman isn’t champion today because he lacks respect. HHH can put up with everything from Reigns but he can’t put up with Reigns disrespecting Vince McMahon in the place he created.

As for people who say he doesn’t need to be champion again, they’re right. With the career he’s had, he doesn’t need this again. However, he’s champion again because he wants to be and people like Reigns don’t deserve to be. The fans chant for Reigns but it’s time to figure out who is going to face HHH for the title at Wrestlemania. Tonight though, they’re going to evaluate the talent and announce the main event of Fastlane. The winner of that match will go on to face HHH for the title at Wrestlemania.

This was really, really lame, even by opening Raw promo standards. I still have no idea why I’m supposed to want to see Reigns come back and win the title again. Between him having a half hour nap during the Rumble last night and not really having a character in the first place, I have no idea why I’m supposed to want to see him fight the odds and overcome. Last night really wasn’t a good sign for him going forward, at least not as the very top guy on the roster. He’ll be fine as a main event player, but he needs a lot of work before he’s that guy.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kevin Owens

Ziggler superkicks him at the bell for a fast two and Owens bails out to the floor. Back in and Dolph scores with a dropkick as we head to a break. Back with Dolph’s superkick being blocked, meaning he has to settle for a Fameasser instead. We hit the sleeper for a bit until Owens drops him into the buckle. The Cannonball misses so Owens grabs a German Suplex, only to charge into another superkick. Ziggler stomps away in the corner but gets crotched on top, setting up the Pop Up Powerbomb to give Owens the pin at 8:45.

Rating: C-. This was fine but I’m going to get really sick of this “IMPRESS THE AUTHORITY” stuff all night long. I understand that this show is all about them and making sure they look as awesome as possible but could we please go more than a week without having to pound it into the fans’ heads? Owens looked better here, which to be fair isn’t hard against Ziggler, who has wrestled the exact same match for years now.

Reigns arrives and laughs off the idea that he’s miserable. He sends JoJo to tell Vince and HHH that he’s here.

Here are the Social Outcasts with something to say, including Heath Slater going outside to get in rapper Flo Rida’s face. Rose calls Slater Red Dragon and Axel doesn’t get it. Dallas calls Rida into the ring for a showdown, but it’s going to be a rap battle. Bo Rida (seriously) puts on a hat, sunglasses and gold chain before calling Flo very disrespectful. “You need to express yourself in a more discerning manner. All you have is ace high but I have a full house like I’m Danny Tanner.” Flo Rida does his own rap and the fans aren’t really responding until he introduces the Dudley Boyz for a tag match.

Dudley Boyz vs. Bo Dallas/Curtis Axel

Joined in progress with Dallas (now in a singlet) fighting out of a headlock until it’s off to Axel for some shots to Bubba’s jaw. That means it’s time for the Bo-Train victory lap around the ring in a funny bit. Back in and D-Von takes over on Axel with a running clothesline in the corner for two. Bubba comes in off a blind tag and the reverse 3D drops Axel again. Slater gets on the apron but Rida shoves him over the top, meaning it’s time for What’s Up. 3D puts Axel away at 4:48.

Rating: D. Hey did you know that Flo Rida is a celebrity? Because he really is. Like, he’s someone people know and pay money to see and such. If you didn’t, you certainly do after watching this match because that’s all this match existed to accomplish. This was nothing more than “hey we’ve got someone you might have heard of on our show!” and that makes for another waste of time.

AJ Styles is about to introduce himself to the WWE but Chris Jericho, his opponent tonight, interrupts. Jericho talks about AJ’s success around the world but he’s never done it here. Good luck tonight and welcome to the big leagues.

Chris Jericho vs. AJ Styles

The fans are entirely behind AJ as Jericho chops away to start. AJ flips over him and goes to the apron, only to get dropkicked out to the floor in a good looking shot. Back in and Styles grabs a headlock as the announcers try to talk about AJ’s pre-WWE run without mentioning companies by name. The drop down into the dropkick sends Jericho to the floor but Chris trips him face first onto the apron as we take a break.

Back with Jericho holding a chinlock before both guys try cross bodies at the same time. AJ is up first with some quick strikes to the face and a running clothesline in the corner. The Walls don’t work so Chris settle with a northern lights suplex for two, followed by the running enziguri for the same. AJ stops a charge with a raised boot and hits the springboard forearm for two of his own. The Walls are broken up but AJ misses a top rope splash. The Lionsault hits knees but AJ can’t quite get the Clash. Jericho rolls into a cradle but AJ pushes forward into a sunset flip for the pin at 13:47.

Rating: B. This was exactly what AJ’s singles debut needed to be as he hung with one of the better in ring workers on the roster and pinned him with a counter. Really good stuff here and AJ looks like a major player. They’re saving that Clash for a big moment though and it’s going to blow the roof off the place when it hits.

Post match AJ offers a handshake and Jericho accepts before pulling AJ in. Jericho says something we can’t hear before leaving with no violence.

Sasha Banks vs. Becky Lynch

Becky goes right after her to start but Sasha takes it to the mat and hits a running slap to the face of all things for two. We hit a neck crank on Lynch for a bit before she grabs a t-bone for two of her own. The double knees in the corner gets the same for Sasha and there’s the Bank Statement, only to have Charlotte come in for the DQ at 3:33.

Rating: C. It was working while it lasted but the DQ makes the most sense. You don’t want to have Becky get screwed over one night and then have her lose clean the next night, even if it’s to Sasha. It’s also nice to see Sasha get to be herself for a change instead of being the weird female New Day member or whatever the heck that was supposed to be.

Charlotte beats Becky down and gives Sasha the Natural Selection before posing with the title. Three way seems likely.

Goldust puts on R-Truth’s headphones for some reason. R-Truth comes in and thinks Goldust is gay but it turns out that Goldust just wants to be a team. Uh…..yeah.

Kane vs. Bray Wyatt

Bray pounds him into the corner to start as Cole actually has the nerve to bring up the stuff around Survivor Series. That feels so long ago but it was only two months. A running forearm to the back of the head puts Kane down as we take a break about a minute into the match. Back with Bray missing the backsplash and what sounds like a RANDY SAVAGE chant. Kane drops an elbow for two and the fans go crazy with the booing. A release Rock Bottom gets two for Bray and a Harper distraction lets Sister Abigail put Kane away at 7:03.

Rating: D. I can’t blame the fans for booing this one out of the building. We’ve covered Kane vs. Wyatt so many times now that I have no idea why anyone would be interested in seeing them fight again. Kane has been around for so long now that there’s nothing left for him to do, especially when he’s just been Kane: midcard monster for so many years now. Why do you think the Daniel Bryan stuff went so well for him? It’s because it was so completely different and out of character for him that it was hard not to enjoy. Kane is talented, but we’ve covered it.

The Wyatts beat Kane down post match.

There’s a long black limo here which might have the big star inside. Post break Rich Brennan knocks on the door and it’s…..Miz. He hasn’t been around in three weeks so ratings are spiking as we speak. As he’s talking (and ratings are spiking), a black truck pulls up and it’s the Rock, who tells Miz to park the truck.

Rock runs into Rick Ross (just hanging around) and then Big Show. After a chat about how Big Show actually should have won (which Rock agrees with), Rock says he was cast as the Scorpion King because he won that match. Show looks like he’s about to cry and breaks the laptop he’s holding.

Next up Rock sees Lana and brings up that night in Brooklyn with Rusev on Raw. What people don’t know is that Lana came to Rock’s hotel room for some wine and “special exercises” that night, including the one legged Russian vacuum. Lana smiles quite a bit until Rusev comes up and sneers quite a bit. The engagement is brought up and Rusev congratulates him for having such a flexible fiance. Rock talks to the camera as he’s walking towards the gorilla position (which he actually names) before saying he’s FINALLY back home.

Now in the ring, Rock asks if the people are ready for Wrestlemania. “JBL is ready. Michael Cole is ready. That other black dude that I don’t know is ready.” The fans chant for the Randy Savage lookalike in the front row so Rock says it’s time to go off script. He asks who the Savage/Hogan/Undertaker impersonators are (“The weed must be good in Miami tonight.”) but doesn’t have much to say to them. Cool little moment though. Wrestlemania is in a few months but it’s time to talk about tonight…..and here’s New Day.

Woods says that the black guy Rock didn’t know is named Byron Saxton and he’s the best commentator at that table. Kofi: “How about we talk about the black guys that you do know?” Woods brings up beating the Usos so badly that when they walk north, they’re looking south. As for Rock though, if he’s the People’s Champion, where’s his gold? I mean, New Day has gold around their waists as well as in the form of Francesca II. Big E. rips on Miami for losing LeBron James but says Rock did the same thing when he went to Hollywood. Was that for the people or for the paycheck? Either way, New Day rocks.

Rock says he does know who New Day is. They’re the Tag Team Champions, extremely entertaining, and wearing llama anatomy on their heads. New Day: “YOU CAN’T SAY THAT ON TV!” Woods corrects him so Rock calls Big E. a she. “Big mama didn’t like that!” Rock thinks Big E. is strong and nerdy. It’s like the Incredible Hulk banged Urkel. Woods drops his trombone and asks if he did that. 90’s TV fans will find that line funny.

Rock offers to stick Francesca II somewhere but New Day calls for a huddle. They decline and start to leave but Rock says not so fast because he has a plan B. Cue the Usos to go after New Day with Big E. getting a Rock Bottom. Woods is left alone with Rock and it’s a double superkick into the spinebuster to set up the People’s Elbow.

Paige/Natalya vs. Brie Bella/Alicia Fox

Natalya and Alicia get things going but it’s quickly off to Brie for the seated abdominal stretch. The YES Kicks have Natalya in trouble but Brie Mode misses, allowing Paige to come in for the PTO. Alicia makes the save so Paige puts Brie away with the Rampaige for the pin at 2:45.

WWE is working with the Boys and Girls Club for anti-bullying stuff.

Miz is in the ring to complain about being interrupted but his opponent’s music cuts him off.

Kalisto vs. The Miz

Non-title. Miz stomps him down in the corner but a headscissors sends him to the floor for a suicide dive from the champ. Back in and Kalisto rolls over Miz’s back into a front facelock. A springboard cross body gets two for Kalisto and we take a break. THIS MATCH gets a break? I had the finish written out as soon as Kalisto’s music hit and we take a break?

Back with Miz getting two off a clothesline and dropping a top rope ax handle for the same. He stops to yell at the fans though, allowing Kalisto to kick him in the head and hit the corkscrew cross body for two of his own. Miz’s short DDT gets the same and he loads up the Skull Crushing Finale, only to have Kalisto kick off the ropes into the Salida Del Sol for the pin at 9:33.

Rating: C-. Nothing much to see here with a pretty easy to guess finish. If nothing else though, it’s nice to see Kalisto getting a win and not losing the title three days after he wins it in the first place. Hopefully he’s done with Del Rio as there’s only so much you can do with that feud and they passed it after their second match.

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose vs. Rusev/Sheamus

Rusev and Reigns slug it out to start but the League is quickly sent to the floor, allowing Ambrose to dive on both guys as we take an early break. Back with Reigns fighting out of a chinlock and diving over for the hot tag. Ambrose goes nuts as is his custom and cleans house, only to miss a dive over the barricade and coming up with a bad knee. Rusev drags him back to ringside and sends him back first into the barricade a few times.

Back in and Rusev gets two off some gutwrench suplexes before it’s off to Sheamus. Three straight Irish Curses have Dean’s back in even more trouble and we hit the chinlock. Rusev drops some elbows and puts on a chinlock of his own. Back to Sheamus for the forearms to the chest and back to send Dean outside, only to have Ambrose do his apron 619 and score with a clothesline.

That’s enough for the hot tag to Reigns as everything breaks down. Sheamus gets a Samoan Drop on the floor and Rusev takes the apron boot. Del Rio and Barrett have to be chased off though and Rusev hits two straight superkicks, followed by the Brogue Kick for two with Dean making the save. Ambrose dives off the apron to take out Rusev and Reigns spears Sheamus for the pin at 15:18.

Rating: B-. This was a step above your standard Smackdown main event tag match, even though it’s something like the 948th time that Reigns has beaten the League. I can’t even remember the group last thing they actually pulled off aside from taking the US Title back from Kalisto. Then again this is exactly what we were expecting them to become and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Post match Reigns and Ambrose set up the announcers’ tables and Double Bomb Rusev through the English version. Reigns’ music plays for all of ten seconds before Stephanie power walks out. The main event at Fastlane is…..Ambrose vs. Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar. Interesting, but so much for the stipulations meaning anything tonight.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a really good example of a show that was good at three hours but would have been great at two hours. As usual, there’s too much filler weighing down an otherwise good show. On top of that, I’m really not a fan of the “Authority evaluation” stuff as it makes me think the roster isn’t trying the rest of the time. Or that the wrestlers are stupid enough to believe that they might have a fair chance instead of whoever the Authority wants to get the shot. Still though, good enough and we have a PPV main event set to get us to Wrestlemania so there’s at least an idea now.

Results

Kevin Owens b. Dolph Ziggler – Pop Up Powerbomb

Dudley Boyz b. Bo Dallas/Curtis Axel – 3D to Axel

AJ Styles b. Chris Jericho – Sunset flip

Sasha Banks b. Becky Lynch via DQ when Charlotte interfered

Bray Wyatt b. Kane – Sister Abigail

Paige/Natalya b. Brie Bella/Alicia Fox – Rampaige to Bella

Kalisto b. The Miz – Salida Del Sol

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose b. Rusev/Sheamus – Spear to Sheamus

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Royal Rumble 2016: This Rumble Game Thing

Royal Rumble 2016
Date: January 24, 2016
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

It’s time to start the Road to Wrestlemania and it’s never started on this hot of a note. This year it’s all about the World Title as Roman Reigns is defending the title in the Royal Rumble itself for the first time ever. That leaves a lot of possible options open and with Reigns starting at #1, there could be a lot of drama by the end. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Darren Young/Damien Sandow vs. Ascension vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Mark Henry/Jack Swagger

One fall to a finish and the winning team gets spots in the Rumble. Swagger and Young get things going but it’s quickly off to Henry as the fans want Sandow. That changes into a “HEY! WE WANT SOME SANDOW!” chants and that’s exactly what they get, including the Wind-Up Elbow for two on Jack. Konnor tags himself in and it’s a big four way standoff as we take a break.

Back with Swagger holding Konnor in a chinlock but D-Von tags himself in, only to get stomped down in the corner. Konnor puts D-Von in a chinlock as the fans want Sexual Chocolate. D-Von avoids a charge and it’s a double tag to Bubba and Viktor with the former cleaning house. A Rock Bottom gets two on Viktor and Young takes What’s Up, meaning it’s table time. Actually scratch that as a 3D gets two on Viktor with Swagger making a fast save. Henry splashes D-Von and covers Viktor for the pin and the Rumble spots at 7:58.

Rating: D+. This was fine and the right team won. There’s no point in putting a thrown together team or either regular team in there so go with the two former World Champions. Neither of them have a chance of winning but at least they add a bit more prestige to the lineup. The match was just there but that’s all it was supposed to be.

Vince and Stephanie arrive before the opening video with Vince saying (while stooping down to be on JoJo’s height) they’re going to give Reigns an opportunity to do something unheard of tonight. Vince loves this night, almost as much as he loves himself. Pretty pointless scene but good night Vince is a ball of energy.

The opening video focuses on the statues before going into a regular video all about Reigns being up against the entire roster tonight.

Intercontinental Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Kevin Owens

Owens is challenging in his rematch from TLC and this is last man standing. It’s a brawl to start with Owens taking an early bulldog to send him outside. Dean sends him over the announcers’ table with a suicide dive with Cole being wiped out by Kevin. Owens hits the champ in the ribs with an iPad so Dean whips him into the steps for four. It’s already kendo stick time and Cole is suddenly a huge Ambrose fan.

Owens comes back with a Cannonball to drive Ambrose through the barricade for a nine. They head inside and the fans sound like they’re mainly on Owens’ side. The backsplash keeps Dean in trouble and it’s time to throw in a bunch of chairs. A chair to the back drops Ambrose again but Owens has a seat instead of following up. The Rebound Lariat puts Owens down but Dean has to counter the Pop Up Powerbomb with a backdrop through the chairs.

Kevin bails to the floor but suckers Dean in for some hard whips into the steps and a seven count. It’s table time (fan: “I feel like you’re wasting your time right now!”) as Dean is laying on the apron, which should earn him a count. Owens stacks up two tables on top of each other in front of a post but gets a chair pelted at his face. It hangs around his neck so Dean starts punching the chair until it falls off. That’s not the brightest thing in the world champ.

The Pop Up Powerbomb is countered with a hurricanrana and Dean grabs Dirty Deeds for eight. Dirty Deeds onto the chair has Owens in trouble but he rolls outside and onto his feet to break the count before collapsing. Dean loads up another table at ringside (“HEY! WE WANT SOME TABLES!”) and drops the top rope elbow for a double eight count. We get yet another table in the ring and they trade shouts of I HATE YOU.

Ambrose loads up a superplex through the table but Owens reverses into the fisherman’s superplex for the big crash. They’re both back up again so Owens grabs a hard Pop Up Powerbomb for nine and a half, only to have Dean collapse at 9.6. Frustration sets in for Owens as he loads up all the chairs and goes up, allowing Dean to shove him off the top and through the double tables at ringside for the win to retain at 20:21.

Rating: B. Good but certainly not great last man standing match. The double tables were clearly going to be the ending and it was just a matter of time instead of a big surprise at the end. It was good enough though and all it needed to be, though I was hoping Owens would get the title back. However, it leaves the door open for a big match at Wrestlemania which is the important thing.

We recap the destruction of Francesca the Trombone. That’s a really odd statement if you’re reading this a long time from now. In other words it’s time for the Tag Team Titles.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Usos

New Day (Kofi/Big E.) is defending and Kofi asks for a moment of silence, allowing Woods to debut Francesca II. Yes Xavier will miss Francesca but he has, ahem, needs. As for tonight, one of them will also win the Rumble because 2016 will be the year of all gold everything. Thankfully the Usos have the different color boots on again.

Kofi and Jimmy get things going with Kofi missing his reverse leapfrog, allowing Jimmy to throw him down. It’s off to Jey as we have a discussion of Byron’s street cred. Big E. comes in and sends Jey shoulder first into the post to take over. It’s back to Kofi to pummel away in the corner as Woods rants about being in the match as well. The fans want Woods to play Francesca but Woods says not so fast.

Both guys try superkicks (shocking I know) but Kofi pulls Jey down by the leg so Big E. can get in a splash. A slingshot stomp crushes Jey again but he enziguris Kofi off the apron and out to the floor for a nice crash. Jimmy gets the tag and starts cleaning house with a Samoan Drop and Whisper in the Wind getting two on Big E. Everything breaks down and Big E. knocks Jimmy off the top, setting up a belly to belly for two of his own.

Jey dives off the apron (out of the WWE Universe according to Cole) to take Kofi out, followed by Big E. spearing Jimmy through the apron in an always cool looking spot. Back in and the Midnight Hour is broken up, allowing Jimmy to superkick Kofi into a very quiet Superfly Splash. Woods makes the save though, earning himself a suicide dive from Jey. Back in and Jey superkicks Kofi down but misses a blind tag to Big E., allowing the Big Ending to pull Jey out of the air for the Big Ending to retain the titles at 10:54.

Rating: C+. This picked up a bit at the end but the tag division is at such a weak point right now that it’s hard to get excited about a match we’ve seen a few times already. I don’t know if they think the Usos getting the titles back is going to be a big deal but this never felt important or really anything more than just a regular title defense.

We recap the Highlight Reel from Monday and the ensuing chaos.

The Wyatts talk about slaughtering the Beast and the Chosen One. Tonight they slaughter them all on their way to the title. Then he really will have the whole world in his hands. Run.

US Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Kalisto

Del Rio is defending and this is the rubber match because WWE can’t count to four. They’ve traded the title in recent weeks with Del Rio’s League of Nations teammates beating Kalisto down three days earlier on Smackdown. Kalisto hammers away in the corner to start but gets kicked in the chest for two. Del Rio rains down some right hands in the corner but gets kicked in the back to knock him out to the floor.

We get another suicide dive to take the champ out but he knocks Kalisto off the top with an enziguri. A chinlock gives both guys a breather before the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker drops Kalisto again. They head outside again so Kalisto can snap off a hurricanrana. Byron: “Kalisto looked up to guys like Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero.” JBL: “He looks up to everybody Byron. He’s short!”

Del Rio whips him into the barricade and it’s time to go for the mask, which you know is enough to start a comeback. That’s quickly cut off by the low superkick for two but Del Rio misses another running enziguri. A very nice tornado DDT gets two for Kalisto and there’s the corkscrew crossbody. The hurricanrana driver gets two more but Kalisto takes too long going up, allowing Del Rio to reverse superplex to connect for two.

They botch a sunset bomb but Kalisto turns into a quick rollup for two more anyway in a close enough save. The top rope double stomp misses and a springboard Salida Del Sol gets two more with Alberto grabbing the bottom rope. Kalisto tries a springboard but lands on two knees for a unique counter. Del Rio would rather take the turnbuckle pad off though, only to be sent face first into the steel. A quick Salida Del Sol gives Kalisto the title back at 11:30.

Rating: C. This didn’t have nearly the surprise and shock factor that the first title change did but at least they got it back on Kalisto for a good moment. He’s more interesting as champion by default after Del Rio’s boring time with the belt so why not do something here to give us a nice moment? Another good match as this show is on a roll so far.

Kickoff recap.

Paul Heyman comes in to see Stephanie and the disgust is quickly on. Heyman talks about Brock winning the title tonight with just ten weeks before we go to Wrestlemania. He promises that Brock will eliminate the entire Wyatt Family tonight but all Stephanie cares about is Reigns being eliminated. If Brock gets rid of him, Stephanie will gradually renegotiate Lesnar’s deal, which is all Heyman wanted.

Ad for Edge and Christian’s Network show.

Fastlane ad.

We recap Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch. They were friends but Charlotte freaked out after losing to Becky, triggering a heel turn as Charlotte wanted to be more like her dad. Becky tricked Ric Flair into setting this up by implying that Charlotte was a coward.

Divas Title: Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte

Charlotte is defending. Becky takes her to the mat to start but can’t get the arm this early. An armdrag sends Charlotte into the corner as they’re sprinkling in some Steamboat vs. Flair. The Figure Four doesn’t work so Charlotte cranks on an armbar of her own. The fans are entirely behind Becky here but Charlotte takes over with some good old cheating from her dad, who kisses Becky to distract her.

Back in and a suplex gets two for the champ and we hit the figure four neck lock with Charlotte slamming her face first into the mat. The hold stays on for a long time until Becky fights up with some running clotheslines. Becky forearms out of the Figure Eight and grabs a t-bone suplex for two. The running legdrops set up another t-bone but Charlotte hits a quick spear to take over again.

Becky is sat on top but grabs Charlotte’s arm and rolls into an armbreaker. That’s countered into a pretty impressive powerbomb for two more as Flair’s cheerleading gets louder and louder. Back up and Charlotte baseball slides her dad by mistake, allowing Becky to grab the Disarm-Her. Ric throws his coat onto Becky’s face though to break up the hold (and somehow not draw a DQ). Another spear retains Charlotte’s title at 12:37.

Rating: C-. As usual, the Divas are hurt by too many rest holds and WAY too much Ric Flair. This is getting into the Evolution format from thirteen years ago when it was already old. Not a great match here, which is a shame considering what these two are capable of doing. Just stop with the rest holds and the Ric and things will get better overnight.

Post match Charlotte beats Becky down even more until Sasha Banks comes out (on her own thank goodness)…..and kicks Becky to the floor. Sasha says she wants the title but waits until Ric leaves before putting on the Bank Statement. Somehow Flair doesn’t notice this for a bit, despite the fans going NUTS for it.

Some fans won a tour of the Performance Center from Chex Mix.

Rumble by the Numbers video. Good night they’re stretching the heck out of this.

WWE World Title: Royal Rumble

Roman Reigns is defending and is coming in at #1 with ninety second intervals. The fans instantly boo Reigns to continue their tradition. It’s Rusev in at #2 as we get the final two from last year starting this year. They slug it out to start and Rusev elbows out of a Samoan Drop. There’s a spinwheel kick to stagger the champ and Rusev throws him through the ropes to the floor. That sets up the Apron Boot and a spear to get rid of Rusev quick.

It’s…..AJ STYLES in at #3 and the fans lose their minds at the reveal. Roman looks as stunned as anyone as the announcers acknowledge the internet rumors, which to be fair were on WWE.com. An early Styles Clash attempt doesn’t work so AJ Pele Kicks him, only to have another Clash countered into the Samoan Drop. Tyler Breeze is in at #4 with kicks to both guys as the fans chant for AJ. Breeze can’t get Reigns out so AJ picks him up, only to have Roman punch AJ in the ribs, sending Breeze out to the floor.

Curtis Axel is in at #5 and actually gets in the ring. Axel actually gets the best of it to start but the Outcasts’ interference doesn’t work, allowing AJ to clothesline Axel to the floor. Chris Jericho is in at #6 and goes after Reigns before elbowing AJ down. Reigns is sent shoulder first into the post, leaving AJ to try another Clash on Jericho. That’s countered into a Walls of Jericho attempt but Reigns makes the save. Kane is in at #7 and Cole actually calls him arguably the greatest Rumble performer of all time. You know, minus the whole WINNING THE MATCH thing.

Kane kicks AJ in the face before going after the other two as things settle down. Goldust is in at #8 and Kane is the only person on his feet. Everyone gets into the same corner as the fans are still chanting for AJ. Ryback is in at #9 and WOW the fans are not happy. Kane and Jericho form an unlikely team (time heals all hot coffee wounds) to put Ryback on the apron but not to the floor. Kofi Kingston is in at #10 and goes after Jericho. AJ hits the springboard forearm on Jericho but gets dropped to the mat for his efforts.

Titus O’Neil is in at #11 and does the usual cleaning house spot, including eliminating Goldust. We’ve got Reigns, Styles, Ryback, Jericho, O’Neil, Kane and Kingston in at the moment and it’s R-Truth in at #12. That means it’s time for a ladder but there’s no briefcase to grab. Kane gets rid of him in a few seconds and throws Kofi out as well, only to have him land on Big E.’s shoulders for the save of the year. Kofi stops to have a Coke and it’s Luke Harper in at #13.

Cue the League of Nations and Vince to pulls Reigns to the floor for a beating, which is likely the way to keep him out of the match until much later. The camera ignores everything going on in the ring as the beating goes on, continuing a long stretch of bad camera work tonight. Stardust is in at #14 as Rusev splashes Reigns through the French announce table. We’ve been away from the ring for the better part of two minutes at this point.

The camera FINALLY goes back to the ring as the League walks off with a monitor for some reason. Kofi was eliminated off camera and it’s Big Show in at #15, giving us Show, Reigns (down on the floor), Styles, Jericho, Harper, Stardust, O’Neil, Ryback and Kane. Titus and Ryback are dumped by Big Show as a stretcher comes out for Reigns. Neville is in at #16 and Reigns gets off the stretcher but goes to the back anyway. We finally see that it was Jericho who eliminated Kofi earlier in the match.

Braun Strowman is in at #17 and runs people over before breaking Kane’s chokeslam attempt. Strowman dumps Kane with ease and it’s time for the showdown with Big Show. Another chokeslam attempt is broken up and Strowman chokes him out for another easy elimination. So the old giants are already out and we’re not even to #20 yet. That’s quite the surprise. Kevin Owens is in at #18, limping to the ring to sell the injuries from earlier.

We’ve got Jericho, Strowman, Harper, Stardust, Styles, Owens and Neville in the ring at the moment with Reigns in the back. Kevin goes right for AJ for the slugout but Neville breaks it up. The Clash is broken up again as Owens superkicks Styles and throws him out for a bit of a surprise. Dean Ambrose is in at #19 and goes right for Owens as you would expect. The fans start cheering for AJ as he leaves and we recap the League beating Reigns down earlier. Sami Zayn is in at #20 for a big surprise and goes right for Owens, tossing him in pretty short order.

Erick Rowan is in at #21 to give us three Wyatts with Bray still to come. The Wyatts get together to dump Stardust and Neville before Strowman starts choking Jericho. Mark Henry is in at #22 and Strowman slams him with ease. The three Wyatts dump Mark about ten seconds after he got in and get rid of Sami as well. Strowman chokes Jericho some more and it’s Lesnar in at #23. Brock goes right for Jericho and Strowman before suplexing anyone he can find.

We get Brock vs. Braun and a BIG forearm puts Strowman on his back. Lesnar clotheslines Rowan out and German suplexes Harper. Strowman elbows out of one but misses a charge into the post. Another clothesline drops Strowman and Brock is looking winded. Jack Swagger is in at #24 and charges right into an F5 for an elimination in fifteen seconds. We’ve got Lesnar, Strowman, Harper Ambrose and Jericho in the ring.

Miz is in at #25 and goes to commentary where he promises to turn Suplex City into Mizney World. Lesnar gets rid of Harper and it’s Alberto Del Rio in at #26. Brock throws him down with ease before clotheslining Braun a few times for the elimination. Del Rio, Jericho and Ambrose gang up on Lesnar and it’s Bray Wyatt (Cole makes it sound like a random Uso) in at #27. The rest of the Wyatts come back for the gang attack but Brock shrugs them off like the nothings they are.

It’s time for Bray vs. Brock and Wyatt is quickly suplexed. Harper saves Bray from the F5 though and we get a big gang beatdown. Sister Abigail allows the rest of the Family to dump Lesnar and set up a Wrestlemania match. Dolph Ziggler is in at #28 and starts cleaning house with his usual stuff. Miz finally gets in the ring and plants Dolph with the Skull Crushing Finale. It’s not enough for an elimination though as Jericho goes after Miz until Sheamus is in at #29. Reigns decks him in the aisle and gets back in to eliminate Miz and Del Rio.

Bray is up to go after Roman as Sheamus hasn’t gotten in the ring yet. The Superman Punch decks Wyatt and the booing is all over the place again. Reigns is the only man standing and indeed it’s HHH in at #30 to give us HHH, Reigns, Sheamus (on the floor) Jericho, Wyatt, Ambrose and Ziggler as the final group.

HHH and Reigns have their big staredown but Ziggler has to be Pedigreed. Bray gets speared and it’s back to the staredown with all seven still in. They slug it out with Reigns countering the Pedigree. Sheamus gets in and throws Reigns to the ropes before it’s time for the parade of finishers. Bray gets a Codebreaker and Lionsault but Jericho can’t put Reigns out. HHH sidesteps a charging Dolph for an elimination and we’re down to six.

Bray and HHH have a bizarre staredown but HHH points to Reigns. That’s not cool with Bray who punches the boss in the jaw, only to have Sister Abigail broken up with a Brogue Kick. HHH and Sheamus put Bray out but are both sent to the apron by Reigns. Ambrose takes Sheamus down with a neckbreaker but Jericho drops Dean with a high cross body. A Codebreaker drops HHH but Dean throws Chris out to give us Ambrose, HHH, Reigns and Sheamus (he’s always there near the end) for the final four.

Sheamus misses a Brogue Kick and gets Superman Punched to the floor, only to have HHH throw Reigns out for a big ovation. We’re down to Ambrose vs. HHH which is a really surprising final pairing. The fans are all behind Ambrose (duh) and there’s an early Rebound Lariat (which Cole actually calls, I kid you not, the Wacky Line). The Pedigree is broken up and Dean sends him to the apron but charges into a knee. HHH backdrops him out and wins the title at 1:02:45.

Rating: A-. That was exhausting. You kind of knew HHH was going to win but it’s still the right call as it sets up Reigns vs. HHH at some point, hopefully next month instead of in Dallas. I really liked the fact that they didn’t have HHH vs. Reigns as the final two as it would have been way too easy. Ambrose wasn’t going to win of course but it was nice to have the false hope instead of just going with the obvious.

The rest of the match was awesome though I have no idea what they’re thinking if they want to do Brock vs. Braun. It was almost painful watching them same spots over and over as Brock can only clothesline and knee him in the back so many times. Lesnar was kind of all over the place in this as he really doesn’t fit the wrecking machine mold like you would expect him to.

It was a good enough night for surprises with AJ (I had forgotten he was in by the end though that’s not a criticism) and Sami, who hopefully is main roster bound soon, as the main names. It’s probably best that they didn’t do the legends and such in a match for the title so well done all around. Really good Rumble and easily the best in years, at least partially because of the options near the end. I know I say that a lot but they’re so important in a match like this.

A very quick celebration takes us out as it’s 11pm.

Overall Rating: A. Oh yeah this was great. The Rumble is a tricky show as it’s all about the one big match and it more than delivered this year. On top of that though we had four good to really good matches for a strong undercard. I had a great time with this show, though I’m really curious to see what they have planned for Wrestlemania at this point. HHH vs. Reigns really isn’t a strong enough headliner though I’m not sure what else they have with so many injuries. Still though, great stuff here and an awesome show.

Results

Dean Ambrose b. Kevin Owens – Ambrose shoved Owens through two tables

New Day b. Usos – Big Ending to Jey

Kalisto b. Alberto Del Rio – Salida Del Sol

Charlotte b. Becky Lynch – Spear

HHH won the Royal Rumble last eliminating Dean Ambrose

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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2015 Awards: Wrestler of the Year

We’ll wrap it up with the biggest one of the year.

We’ll start with one of the last remaining worldwide talents in AJ Styles. The guy goes around the world and has great match after great match. He was a huge star in New Japan and fought almost anyone you could ask him to face. Styles has earned the WWE run he’s about to get and 2015 was a big part of that.

You also have to consider Kevin Owens for how far he’s come in just a year. People kind of forget that he made his WWE debut at the end of 2014 and was pinning John Cena about six months later. Couple that with a dominant performance against Sami Zayn and the Intercontinental Title and it’s hard to argue anyone having a stronger debut year in a very long time.

Also out of NXT you have Bayley, who rose up from a good but not great NXT woman to the most over person in the hottest promotion in wrestling. Watch her come out on NXT and just take in how much the people love her. She’s on a roll in the ring too and is a genuine character that young girls can get attached to. I honestly don’t remember the last time that happened in wrestling and it’s amazing to see it happen right before your eyes.

That leaves us with the main two options and we’ll start with the younger. Seth Rollins threw in a legitimate surprise finish to Wrestlemania when he cashed in and went on to have one heck of an in ring year. Rollins’ biggest problem came down to his horrible booking. There’s only so much you can do when you’re treated as HHH and Stephanie’s kid and get stuck trying to carry Kane to a serious World Title match at a major show.

This is a situation where someone was doing the best with what they were given and Rollins did everything he could. It’s not his fault that WWE doesn’t know how to book a heel as anything but a coward or subservient to the Authority. Rollins did his best and it’s clear that he’s going to be a huge deal when he comes back (hopefully not being associated with HHH) with his knee all fixed up.

Finally, as always, there’s John Cena. This was an odd year for Cena as he started off hot against Lesnar and Rollins, went into a very hit or miss feud with Rusev (more miss than hit unfortunately), how an awesome feud with Owens, disappeared for a few weeks due to his reality show, then had another hit or miss feud with Rollins (though it was much more the booking missing than the wrestlers). Then he came back for like five minutes but got hurt again and is out for the next several months.

However, there’s a major weight in his favor and that’s the US Open Challenge. This is what separated Cena from the rest of the pack all year as it was one awesome match after another with any and all comers. The question became who was going to walk through the curtain, making every week a big surprise. Some of them were better than others, but you knew you were going to get something special. This series of matches impressed even some of Cena’s harshest critics as Cena just could not have a bad match during this thing. At the end of the day, good wrestling is more important than anything else and no one did that better week in and week out this year that Cena.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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2015 Awards: Match of the Year

This is one of the hardest ones to pick because it’s one of the two biggest awards of the year.

We’ll start over in Japan with Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Kota Ibushi in the WON Match of the Year. I didn’t remember this being as awesome as it was but I gave it an A and you have to mention it after winning such a big award. Ibushi made this a war and came so close to the huge upset in a great story with great action but he just couldn’t pull it off. Still great though.

Reigns vs. Lesnar from Wrestlemania was better than I was expecting as they just beat the tar out of each other for a long time until the big screwy ending. That ending is what holds it back for me as it turned into more of an angle than a match. What we got until that point was more than worth seeing though and it far exceeded most expectations. It’s the main event of Wrestlemania so you have to at least give it a mention.

In another surprise, Kevin Owens pinned John Cena at Elimination Chamber. This was the big trading finishers showdown with both guys hitting each other with bigger and bigger shots to set up the big surprise finish with Owens winning. This was built up with weeks of great promos and then gave us a great match. What more can you ask for than that?

There’s another match from outside WWE with Mil Muertes vs. Fenix in a Grave Consequences (casket) match. It’s not the match of the year, but it runs away with the award for having no business being awesome but blowing the roof off the place. Casket matches are some of the goofiest gimmick matches you’ll ever find but these two turned it into one of the most dramatic things I’ve seen in a very long time. Given how bad the gimmick was holding them back, this was a borderline miracle.

We’ll go in reverse for a second and mention the Iron Man match at Takeover: Respect. It’s not quite the first match but the ending with Bayley KICKING SASHA IN THE HEAD to win and Banks making Izzy cry were things of beauty. These two have mad chemistry together and the rematch even being near the level of the original is the highest praise.

That leaves us with the final two matches that everyone knew we were coming to. First up there’s the amazing triple threat from the Royal Rumble with Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena vs. Seth Rollins. I rewatched this a few days ago and good night it was something to see. All three guys hit everything they could and the story of Lesnar having to be double teamed to leave the other two fighting was great stuff.

The things Lesnar was doing and was being put through by the challengers were awesome and the ending with Brock going Beast Mode to beat Rollins left me out of breath. This was the most action packed match of the year and the clubhouse leader for a very long time. It was going to take something special to come close to it and that’s what we got about nine months later.

Women in wrestling get a lot of flack. They’re treated as eye candy, sideshow acts, popcorn breaks and second class citizens who do some of the dumbest things imaginable. That’s what makes the NXT women’s division so much fun. Instead of being treated like morons, they’re treated as serious competitors who happen to be women. The idea of a Women’s Title match being the main event of a random week of TV doesn’t even make NXT fans think twice these days and that’s a really good sign.

That’s what makes Bayley vs. Sasha Banks so important. This wasn’t just a great match but it was also a great moment. The wrestling, the emotion and the post match scene all wrapped this up into one of the greatest things I’ve seen as a wrestling fan. This was a moment for wrestling and had me losing my mind every single time, even though Bayley winning wasn’t exactly a shock.

So that brings up the big debate that never ends in wrestling: action vs. emotion. The triple threat was non-stop insanity with one big spot after another. The women’s match on the other hand was all about Bayley’s journey from the goofy fangirl to the serious competitor who was the best in the company. However, it didn’t have Brock Lesnar breaking stuff, including various people for twenty minutes.

I keep going back and forth on this but the more I think about that sequence with Sasha getting Bayley in the Bank Statement and stomping on her hand, only to have Bayley reverse it into a Bank Statement of her own, the more I have to go with the women. For my money, the hardest thing to do in wrestling is to convince fans that something they know is happening isn’t going to happen. Like I said, Bayley was the obvious winner but they managed to convince me that it wasn’t going to happen for that split second.

The thing is though the match kept going and had one heck of a finishing sequence with Bayley hitting a great looking reverse hurricanrana to knock Banks senseless. That’s where the match got even better for me: Bayley had Banks beaten before the Bayley to Belly, which really just put her out of her misery. In other words, Bayley looked like the decisive winner instead of someone who happened to win. It felt like an actual changing of the guard and a moment, which is what it was supposed to be. Couple that with the Four Horsewomen post match stuff and this beats anything else in the year in a big milestone.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Royal Rumble 2016 Preview

This is one of the most difficult shows of the year to predict and it’s not just because of the battle royal. Aside from the big main event, it’s hard to guess a lot of the title matches because there’s a chance that they’re starting a new title program but they also might just be extending the current ones a few more months. Then there’s the whole “let’s throw the roster into one match for the title.” Let’s get to it.

We’ll start on the pre-show with a nice little concept: a four way tag with the winning team getting Rumble spots. We’ve got Darren Young/Damien Sandow (So are the Players officially split?) vs. the Dudley Boyz vs. Ascension vs. Mark Henry/Jack Swagger. Ascension is written off of course and there’s no reason to pick Young/Sandow. Therefore, we’ll go with the only team remaining and the only one comprised of two former World Champions. Neither guy has a chance of winning but the more former World Champions you add to a World Title match the more prestige it has. If nothing else due to how lame the other options are.

Del Rio retains the US Title. Why? Well for some reason WWE insists on making us sit through as many boring Del Rio matches as we can while the title gets less and less interesting every single week. I had a good time believing that Kalisto could go somewhere as champion but in the back of my head I knew WWE would hand it back to Del Rio as soon as possible. I have no idea who takes it off him (AJ maybe?) but it’s not going to be Kalisto at this show.

I’ll go with Ambrose keeping the title from Owens. In theory Owens should be in line for a big match at Wrestlemania and I can’t imagine they put the title on him beforehand. Last man standing is a good way to have him lose but still keep him looking strong as Dean could win through shenanigans after a long fight. As long as they don’t do the lame and way overdone “trap him under some big object” ending, this should be a really wild brawl that both guys are capable of delivering. Ambrose wins, though both guys should be in the Rumble too.

In a pick that doesn’t make a ton of sense, I’ll go with the Usos to win the titles off New Day. It’s not that New Day isn’t entertaining still (though the Jericho stuff has been horrible), but they’ve cleaned out the division more than once now so unless Enzo/Cass or Gable/Jordan are coming to the main roster like Monday or something, who else is New Day supposed to fight?

Charlotte retains, likely setting up a match against Sasha Banks as we roll into Wrestlemania, which could set up Bayley vs. Sasha on the main roster. Not that WWE is smart enough to pull that off of course. We’re likely setting for the return of Nikki to challenge Charlotte in a copy of AJ returning to take the title from Paige in 2014.

That brings us to the main event and good night where do you start? Well actually you start with Reigns based on Monday, but I think it finishes with HHH. Yeah as simple of a story as they have, I really do think this winds up being HHH coming out in the last spot and defeating a worn out Reigns to win the title. However, I don’t think it sets up HHH vs. Reigns at Wrestlemania. Instead I think they’ll do that match at Fastlane and then set up Reigns vs. Lesnar II at Wrestlemania. I can’t imagine they keep the title on Reigns as if nothing else, it leaves no one as a realistic challenger.

Now for the interesting parts: the surprises. Counting the two names from the pre-show, we’ll have fifteen names announced. I won’t bother trying to predict all fifteen as it’s likely going to be one or two of the Social Outcasts and a bunch of midcard fillers plus HHH to cap it off. That leaves a handful of spots for legends and new names so here are a few guesses.

Word on the street is they’re putting the Tough Enough winner in there for some hazing. If so, whatever. It’ll take two minutes and no one is going to remember because Tough Enough winners barely ever mean anything because it’s a stupid concept that doesn’t work.

I don’t think we get AJ Styles and I’d almost bet on the fact that we don’t get Daniel Bryan. AJ likely debuts the next night or the next week and Bryan being in the Rumble would be a borderline disaster based on the last two years. Both guys would be fun, but the problem boils down to this: what’s the point of bringing them in if they’re just going to lose?

For legends picks, let’s go with Jim Duggan and……Papa Shango. Why? Well why not? If they can bring in the Boogeyman last year, why not bring in Shango here? I’ll throw in Vader too, just so the announcers can make a lame Star Wars joke.

Finally, I’ll go with Sami Zayn as the NXT representative. The fans know who he is and he can go right back down to NXT to build towards Sami vs. Balor at Takeover.

Overall, this is always a show worth looking forward to. The Rumble is one of the few matches that is always fun due to the drama and surprises included and this has the potential to be something awesome. I like the idea of putting the title on the line as it really does feel like the biggest Rumble of all time. Reigns is likely dropping the belt here to set up his big win at Wrestlemania, but this has the potential to throw a huge curveball. I know HHH vs. Reigns is likely at some point, but there’s always the chance that it could go another way.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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2015 Awards: Feud of the Year

This is another one that doesn’t have a lot of options this year but the top choices are good.

As usual, we’ll knock out the honorable mentions first.

Brock vs. Undertaker had two good to awesome matches with a Match of the Year candidate inside the Cell. My big problem with this one is how it started up again. The Undertaker coming out and costing Brock the title didn’t work for me as it took him a year and a half to come back and go after Brock with the World Champion getting sacrificed to set it up. That and the messy ending to their Summerslam match. It was such a disaster.

That’s about it for the honorable mentions actually. Like I said, it’s not the best year.

One of the two big ones is of course Kevin Owens vs. John Cena with the whole battle of different roads to get to the top level. This one was carried by the promos but Owens winning made the whole thing a huge success. I know a lot of people say that Owens losing the last two matches killed it, but Owens would win the Intercontinental Title later in the year and could easily be a main event player by the time Summerslam rolls around. How much of that do you think is due to the first win over Cena?

The other option is Sasha Banks vs. Bayley, which just worked on every level. You had the perfect good vs. bad style with two awesome matches (I still swoon over that Bank Statement reversal) and it main evented a Takeover. That alone is remarkable and the fact that they brought Izzy into it and MADE HER CRY was one of the best heel moves I’ve seen in years.

Picking a winner here is splitting hairs, but I have to go with Owens vs. Cena, just due to the shock of that first win. Bayley winning was an amazing moment but it was also obvious from the second she got the title shot. The surprise of Owens pinning Cena in a great match on pay per view was such a stunning moment and is enough to pull this forward.

That being said, it’s rather sad that there are so few feuds these days. Everything is about setting up a rubber match or for a title. It’s so rare to see a good personal feud but when they work, they’re as entertaining as anything wrestling can produce. Now why can’t WWE produce more of them?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown – January 21, 2016: That Bad Show Before The Rumble

Smackdown
Date: January 21, 2016
Location: Nutter Center, Dayton, Ohio
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the go home show for the Royal Rumble and Roman Reigns is already in trouble tonight with a handicap match against the entire League of Nations. This show is almost destined to end with a big brawl between most of the different major factions in the Rumble and it wouldn’t feel right if things ended any differently. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Chris Jericho to open things up. It’s been fourteen months since he’s been on Smackdown but he wants to talk about three days from now, which will be the biggest Royal Rumble of all time. Jericho instructs the monkeys to show us what happened on Monday, which leads us into the three and a half minute recap of most of Monday’s events, including the Highlight Reel to end the show.

Back in the arena, Jericho says Brock may be the beast incarnate but Jericho is here to save the WWE. That’s Sunday thought because right now, he’s here to be interrupted by the New Day. Big E. wishes shame on Jericho for destroying Francesca and now making light of things while New Day is in mourning. Woods thinks there should be a documentary made about Christal (yes Christal) called Making a Brass Murderer.

Jericho is so cold blooded that he wouldn’t give a crippled crab a crutch. We get a moment of silence for Francesca but Jericho says this, along with the horns on New Day’s heads, are stupid. Jericho thinks they need better unicorn names, like Sparkles, Bartholomew, Rootie and Tootie. That’s enough to get them into the ring but Jericho says they already have a six man scheduled.

New Day vs. Usos/Dolph Ziggler

Maybe this will be a bit more entertaining than the rather boring Jericho vs. New Day segments. I know they sound great on paper but they’re really not working in practice. Dolph has some face paint of its own. Kofi and Jimmy get things going with Kingston taking over and telling the fans not to call them Rootie Tooties. It’s quickly off to Jey for two off a double back elbow. It’s off to Woods (or Tootie, giving me flashbacks to the Facts of Life, which is odd as I’ve never watched the show) who gets caught in a neckbreaker from Ziggler, followed by a big elbow drop for two.

Big E. comes in for a quick belly to belly and the Warrior Splash. As usual there is no reference to their history together because once something ends in WWE, it is never brought up again ever, or at least until they go back to that exact story. It’s back to Kofi for a chinlock but he tries to go up top and gets dropkicked out of the air.

The hot tag brings in Jimmy to clean house with dropkicks all around and a running Umaga Attack to Kofi. Big E. low bridges him though and we take a break. Back with Big E. holding Jimmy in the abdominal stretch and Woods shouting at the fans. Woods gets two off a faceplant as Ranallo mentions Xavier going for his fourth college degree. That’s just impressive.

Jimmy kicks Big E. away and scores with a Whisper in the Wind, allowing the real hot tag to Ziggler. Everything breaks down and Jey dropkicks everyone he can find. Well everyone not on his team and not wearing a referee shirt that is. A double dive takes out Kofi and Big E., leaving Woods to take a triple superkick for the pin at 14:44.

Rating: C. This was your standard Smackdown six man tag and there’s nothing wrong with that. New Day continues to be amusing as they’re actually going from one step to another with their comedy instead of doing the same stuff over and over for months and being surprised when the reactions die off. This is where the Usos excel though and these matches are always worth at least a quick look.

Ranallo refers to Reigns having to face all four members of the League of Nations as a “stiff test.” That’s rather subtle.

Rumble By the Numbers video.

Becky Lynch vs. Alicia Fox

Charlotte and Flair (kind of surprising to see him on Smackdown) are on commentary. Fox runs her over to start and takes Becky to the floor for a kick to the chest. For some reason (likely fallout from her being crazy) Alicia grabs a northern lights suplex on the floor and holds the bridge for a count that is never coming. Back in and Becky starts her clotheslines comeback until Fox knees her in the face. Not that it matters as Becky reverses a slam into the Disarm-Her for the tap at 2:59.

It’s time for MizTV with guests Dean Ambrose and Kevin Owens. Miz explains the rules of a Last Man Standing match until Ambrose comes out to cut him off. Dean says Sunday isn’t really even a match because it’s more of an amusement park. Miz asks Ambrose if he thinks he can do a better job hosting this show.

The fan reactions send Miz to sit in the corner and Dean gets back to the amusement park idea. He goes outside and points to the apron, which is the first ride he’s going to take Owens on. “Has anyone ever noticed that Owens kind of looks like a bear?” That’s why he calls the edge of the steps the bear trap because he can get Owens’ hand caught behind them and hit him with anything he wants, including the new Smackdown announcer. That leaves Dean with the announcers’ table, which he calls Memory Lane. He can’t wait to give Owens the kind of beating he deserves on this table but here’s Kevin to interrupt.

Owens says he’s more of a zoo enthusiast than an amusement park guy (amen brother) but more than that he’s obsessed with getting his Intercontinental Title back. That’s why on Sunday he’ll do whatever he has to do to get his title back and leave Dean laying. Ambrose wants to fight right now but Miz jumps Dean from behind at the mention of DeanTV. This brings Owens to the ring…..to lay out Miz with the Pop Up Powerbomb. Dean fights back on Kevin but can’t give him Dirty Deeds. Owens bails so Dean gives Miz the DDT instead before counting to ten (it wouldn’t be the build to a Last Man Standing match without one of those).

The Wyatts are here.

Bray Wyatt vs. Ryback

After a clip of the Wyatts laying Brock out on Raw, Ryback hits an early cross body and pounds away at Bray’s head. There’s the Thesz Press with Ryback ramming the back of the head into the mat. For some reason Ryback heads outside though, allowing Bray to Rock Bottom him onto the apron as we take a break.

Back with Ryback running Bray over and hitting a…..dang it he hit a superkick. You would think RYBACK would be immune from using that move but it really is spreading out of control. Bray avoids the top rope splash though and gets two off the backsplash. Ryback hits a quick spinebuster and Meathook but Harper offers a distraction, allowing Strowman to send Ryback into the steps. Sister Abigail puts Ryback away at 8:00.

Rating: C-. I feel sorry for Ryback at times. It’s clear that he’s trying to get better but there’s no room for someone like him to get anywhere because he’s one of those guys that is going to be stuck in the midcard loop until he leaves because that’s how WWE works. Bray is the same way but on a slightly higher loop.

Post match the Wyatts lay Ryback out again.

Stardust vs. Titus O’Neil

Yes again. Titus starts fast with the hard overhead chops but Stardust takes him to the floor and sends Titus into the barricade. Back in and we hit the crossface chickenwing for a bit before Titus comes back with a shoulder and clothesline. Such varied offense. Stardust gets two off a DDT but gets crotched on top, setting up the Clash of the Titus for the pin at 3:04.

Rating: D. I’m sick of seeing these two fight, especially when there’s really no reason for them to keep having matches. Are they really still after each other because Titus came into Stardust’s room or something for a few weeks in a row? If nothing else I do like this better than more dull Prime Time Players matches though.

Kalisto talks about Alberto being up there with Mil Mascaras, Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero in Mexican wrestling, Sure Del Rio is bigger and stronger, but Kalisto has been fighting Goliaths his entire life. Del Rio comes in and says Kalisto’s wins were flukes. The League appears and beats Kalisto down.

Roman Reigns comes out for his match but says he’s not really surprised that the odds were stacked against him again. That just makes the fight bigger and he can’t wait to come back home with his WWE World Title. Simple and to the point here.

Roman Reigns vs. League of Nations

Sheamus starts for the team but can’t drag Reigns over to the corner. It’s off to Rusev instead but he’s low bridged to the floor and driven into the barricade. Back in and it’s quickly off to Sheamus for a hard knee to the ribs. That means it’s back to Rusev, who shouts at Reigns to tag his partner.

Sheamus puts on a chinlock with a knee in the back until Reigns sends him into the corner for a breather. Rusev comes in and misses a charge, allowing Reigns to come back with some clotheslines. The referee tells them to go home because they’ve got one minute, meaning it’s time for Del Rio and Barrett to come in and jump Reigns for the DQ at 4:57. Barrett and Del Rio never tagged in.

Rating: D. Why not just make this Rusev/Sheamus instead of all four? I mean, if Barrett and Del Rio can’t do anything (for whatever reason with Del Rio), why even list them? You could still do the same ending and the match might be a bit more interesting with less ridiculous odds for Roman to overcome.

Post match the League keeps up the beatdown until the Usos come in. This draws out the Wyatts for the long beatdown on Reigns to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. What a worthless show. I really don’t care any more about Sunday’s show than I did before and most of the matches were either too short to rate or bad. It’s really amazing how far this show has fallen in just two weeks after debuting on USA. Lame show here that you really could have skipped.

Results

Usos/Dolph Ziggler b. New Day – Triple Superkick to Woods

Becky Lynch b. Alicia Fox – Disarm-Her

Bray Wyatt b. Ryback – Sister Abigail

Titus O’Neil b. Stardust – Clash of the Titus

Roman Reigns b. League of Nations via DQ when all four attacked Reigns




2015 Awards: Promo of the Year

This isn’t the most in depth field in the world.

We’ll start with the usual leader in Paul Heyman, who has two options here. These weren’t exactly his best efforts, especially compared to last year, but they’re still both soild options.

First up we have the post Wrestlemania promo with Heyman saying Brock will be getting his rematch that night instead of waiting any amount of time. This was all about the delivery that only Heyman can bring.

Second was GLORY GLORY BROCK LESNAR with Heyman breaking into song. There isn’t much else to say about this one but sweet goodness it was catchy.

Since this is going to be a short list, I’ll throw in Bray Wyatt bragging about being the new demon of WWE after kidnapping Undertaker and stealing his soul or whatever it was he did. Now of course this didn’t lead anywhere but it was cool at the time with the thunder and lightning helping a lot.

With those out of the way, we’re up to the real winner: Kevin Owens’ debut promo against John Cena. I mean…..dang man. Owens looked more comfortable in front of a main roster audience than anyone in years. His line of “You don’t get to give me advice. I’ve been doing this longer than you.” set the tone for his entire run and there was no looking back. The fact that he actually beat Cena in their showdown made this even better. Owens was instantly a player with this promo though and it was the best all year.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – January 18, 2016: Not That It Matters (Maybe)

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 18, 2016
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

It’s the go home show for the Royal Rumble and that can make for a slower night of Raw. The big story from last week would seem to be Brock Lesnar being added to the Rumble to go after the WWE World Title. There’s no word on where Reigns might be coming in, which opens up some options for Sunday. As for tonight, Brock is the guest on Chris Jericho’s Highlight Reel so let’s get to it.

Martin Luther King video. I don’t know why but they always do some kind of a tribute to this. It certainly deserves the attention but this seems like one of the most important days of the year to WWE.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Roman Reigns with something to say. Reigns talks about this Sunday being the fight of his life but tonight he only cares about Brock Lesnar. Instead he gets Chris Jericho, who Reigns is glad to see even though Jericho isn’t the man he wants right now. Lesnar will be on the Highlight Reel tonight though and Jericho wants Reigns to be there too. Reigns loves the idea but here’s the League of Nations to interrupt.

Sheamus wants to know when this Rumble became Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns. I’m thinking that was last week chum. The League is involved as well and they intend to take back that WWE World Title. Sheamus insults Jericho’s clothes so Chris gets in a weak insult about the mohawk. Del Rio brags about winning the Rumble a few years back but Jericho doesn’t feel like having him on the Highlight Reel either.

Rusev talks about rumbling every single day in Bulgaria but Jericho can’t understand him. Jericho asks Reigns who won the Rumble last year and who he eliminated to win. We get a “comes up short” joke from Jericho and a challenge is issued for right now. Apparently it’s Rusev vs. Reigns with Jericho as guest referee for no real reason.

Roman Reigns vs. Rusev

Non-title. Reigns grabs a headlock to start before firing off right hands. The League offers a quick distraction though and Rusev gets in a cheap shot to take over. That means it’s time for a chinlock though, followed by a nice spinwheel kick for two on the champ. Back from a break with Reigns trying a headbutt, only to get ground down with a headlock. JBL incorrectly says Rusev eliminated half a dozen people in his debut Rumble as I guess even he has tried to forget that worthless cameo in 2014.

Reigns fights back with the corner clotheslines, only to get kicked in the side of the head for a pretty slow two count. Rusev tries a super Samoan Drop but gets countered into a Batista Bomb for the same deliberate two. Del Rio offers a distraction so Sheamus can jump Roman from behind, but Jericho is actually smart and ejects Sheamus anyway. Barrett gets the same treatment and Jericho throws in a bonus cartwheel. In the melee, Reigns hits a quick Superman Punch and the spear for the pin at 13:55.

Rating: D+. This is another match that has been done to death and there’s almost no reason to watch it again. That’s the biggest problem with someone like Rusev: there’s no reason to believe he’s going to win a big match as all he has is the Accolade. Once people start breaking it, all the drama goes away. Not a bad match but really just a way to fill time.

Post break, Stephanie yells at Jericho for not having the authority to make that match. Jericho goes into his standard string of Stephanie insults but she cuts him off to say he insulted her by making the bigger Highlight Reel. Apparently this means she has to negotiate with Paul Heyman and owes Brock more money now. As usual, Stephanie manages to take something interesting and turn it boring.

Brie Bella vs. Natalya

Natalya brings out Paige as this is the Total Divas preview match. Even Cole calls it such. After a clip from the show of drama due to Alicia Fox unfollowing Paige on social media (the highest insult), we’re ready to go with Natalya hitting a quick basement dropkick. That earns her the BRIE MODE knee and a chinlock. Brie spends too long posing after the YES Kicks though and it’s a Sharpshooter to give Natalya the win at 1:30.

Wyatt Family vs. Dudley Boyz/Ryback

Why is this still a thing??? There was a tables match on Thursday where the Dudleys won, only to be put through tables after. We take a break before the bell, meaning the only thing shown between breaks was the entrances. This is joined in progress with Bubba suplexing Harper and doing some Dusty Rhodes punches, only to get kicked in the face. It’s off to Rowan vs. D-Von with the latter grabbing a neckbreaker.

That’s it for D-Von’s offense though as Rowan takes him into the corner so the Wyatts can take turns on him. Bubba starts playing cheerleader and it’s back to Rowan for the double fist head vice. We hit the chinlock from Harper for a few seconds before D-Von collides with Bray. That means a hot tag to Ryback for some house cleaning and everything breaks down. Ryback heads outside to stare down Strowman but gets decked by Wyatt. Rowan breaks up a 3D to Harper, allowing Luke to hit the discus lariat for the pin on Bubba at 6:42.

Rating: D+. Can we please get something for the Wyatts to do already? As in something they might actually win instead of being built up only to fall down again? I’m tired of seeing them beat up the Dudleyz as the matches have ranged from decent to boring and they’re getting lower and lower each time. I’m not sure why we’re seeing it again but I’m sure it’s due to them having nothing else to do. Not a bad match but it’s really hard to care at this point.

Big Show vs. Heath Slater

Before the match, the Social Outcasts promise to win on Sunday, though Axel says he can’t understand a word Rose says. Slater runs away from a big chop in the corner to start but is pulled back in by the hair. The KO Punch is good for the pin at 56 seconds.

The rest of the Outlaws are wiped out post match.

Stephanie gives the League of Nations a pep talk for the Royal Rumble.

Here are Vince and Stephanie to draw out the #1 entrant for the Royal Rumble. Vince brings up winning the 1999 Royal Rumble and Stephanie praises him for a bit. After a quick spin, Vince pulls out a ball and the #1 entrant is……..of course it’s Roman Reigns. Vince thinks that’s quite the coincidence so they pull another name and it’s…….Roman Reigns. They even draw it a third time and leaves Reigns’ name out, only to draw Reigns a third straight time. You had to know this was coming and it’s probably the right call.

Becky Lynch vs. Tamina

Charlotte and Ric are at ringside. Becky starts in with the strikes but charges into a superkick. We hit the early chinlock for a bit before a slam gets two on Becky. Lynch fights back with her usual strikes in the corner, followed by the running legdrops for two. The Disarm-Her makes Tamina tap at 4:04.

Rating: D. Tamina isn’t exactly the one you call on if you want an exciting match. At least Becky won and is getting a good push going into her title match on Sunday. It’s a lot better now that they’ve got an actual story going but the silence during this non-title match really isn’t the best sign.

Post match Becky asks for a Divas Title shot on Sunday but Charlotte says no. Becky gets smart by insulting Ric and saying Charlotte just isn’t like her dad. That’s enough for Flair, who accepts the challenge on his daughter’s behalf. Charlotte really doesn’t seem cool with that.

Kalisto/Dean Ambrose vs. Alberto Del Rio/Sheamus

Here’s your fifteen minute match designed to do nothing more than to kill fifteen minutes. Kevin Owens is on commentary to make this more entertaining. Ambrose pounds on Sheamus to start and it’s quickly off to Kalisto, who is slammed down onto Sheamus for two. Del Rio is sent to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Sheamus hammering on Kalisto in the corner until the masked man jawbreaks his way out of a chinlock. The hot tag brings in Ambrose to start speeding things up, including a suicide dive to take out Del Rio. Dean gets in trouble again though as Sheamus gets two off an Irish Curse.

Del Rio gets the same off a kick to the head and it’s time for some choking on the ropes. A Backstabber stops Dean’s latest comeback but the top rope double stomp is broken up by something like an armdrag. Owens hopes Ambrose hurt himself but Dean is fine enough for a big clothesline to Sheamus and a hot tag to Kalisto.

A headscissors and the rolling kick to the head have Sheamus in trouble and Kalisto stumbles into a tornado DDT. The Salida Del Sol gets two with Del Rio making the save. Dean takes him to the floor and gets kicked in the face, leaving Sheamus to Brogue Kick Kalisto for the pin at 13:20.

Rating: C+. The match picked up a lot near the end until the really stupid booking took over. This is a place where a countout or something would have worked well, or just have Kalisto get another upset pin over Sheamus. It’s not like pins mean anything on Sunday so just do it here and give me another reason to be interested in Kalisto. Or have him look like someone in over his head and take away some of the hype for Sunday. Same thing right?

We recap the opening segment.

Clips of the India tour.

We look at Jericho breaking Xavier Woods’ trombone last week.

Earlier today, there was a funeral for Francesa the Trombone. Big E. starts quoting Jay Z. and Woods loses it. Kofi offers to get a new trombone but that’s too much so soon. Francesca lives forever in Xavier’s heart and she would want Big E. to beat Jey Uso.

Here’s the annual All About The Numbers video.

30 entrants

28 Royal Rumble

811 people eliminations

42 eliminations by Kane, the most of all time

46 WWE Hall of Famers who have entered

8 Hall of Famers who have won

3 wins by Steve Austin

62:12 that Rey Mysterio lasted

1 second that Santino Marella lasted

2 straight wins Roman needs to retain

18 years since that happened

15 former World Champions on the roster

6 former Royal Rumble winners

1, as in the number that Reigns will enter the Rumble

Big E. vs. Jey Uso

Kofi and Xavier are in suits from the funeral. Big E. takes him down to start until Jey jumps over in the corner and starts dancing. A quick cross body gets two for Jey and they head outside, only to have Jey get backdropped on the floor as we take a break. Back with Jey in the abdominal stretch before he avoids the apron splash to send E. outside again.

The running Umaga Attack misses in the corner but Jey settles for a kick to the face for two instead. E. misses another charge and falls to the floor so Jey can nail a nice plancha. Back in and Woods offers a distraction to break up the Superfly Splash, allowing the Big Ending to give E. the win at 9:34.

Rating: D+. Not much to this one but at least the trombone stuff before the match was funny. It’s still not exactly entertaining or anything though as we’ve seen these guys fighting so many times now. The tag division needs some fresh blood and it’s not like there’s a team ready for the main roster down in NXT or anything.

Mark Henry, Titus O’Neil and R-Truth are in the back talking about the dream. Neville comes in and it’s a bit awkward.

The League is talking about something.

Mark Henry/Titus O’Neil/R-Truth vs. Stardust/Ascension/Tyler Breeze

All eight of these guys will be in the Royal Rumble. Titus throws Viktor around to start and it’s quickly off to Neville vs. Stardust with the latter dancing for some reason. Mark comes in and runs Stardust over before Truth comes in to work on a hammerlock. There’s a hiptoss to Stardust but Breeze kicks Truth off the apron to take over.

It’s quickly back to Konnor for an elbow drop but Truth grabs a DDT to absolutely no reaction. Neville and Breeze come in to speed things up with Neville throwing him down and getting two off the standing shooting star. Everything breaks down and the World’s Strongest Slam to Breeze sets up the Red Arrow for the pin at 6:11.

Rating: D+. I know it’s too late for Breeze (you know, three months after he debuted on the main roster) but Konnor and Viktor aren’t available to take that pin? Yeah I’m not even going to bother getting annoyed at this one. WWE has decided Breeze isn’t worth investing in on the main roster and that’s about it for him.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel with Jericho introducing his guests but being cut off by Heyman. Jericho cuts off Heyman’s signature lines and asks where Lesnar is. Brock will indeed be here tonight but Heyman would rather talk about what happened the last time Jericho and Lesnar were in the same ring together.

Jericho gets back to the Rumble though and asks why Heyman tried to get Lesnar straight to the main event of Wrestlemania. Could it be that Brock has developed so many enemies that Heyman doesn’t think he’s a lock to win again? Heyman laughs it off and plugs the Network by saying people subscribe to see Brock fight any one man so why wouldn’t you subscribe to see him fight everyone at once. Jericho suggests that he’ll throw Brock out and here’s Lesnar for a rebuttal.

Before anything can be said or done though, here’s Roman just like he promised. We get the big showdown as Jericho steps to the side and Reigns spears the heck out of Lesnar. Before anything else can happen though, Lesnar has to deal with the League of Nations, allowing Roman to spear Lesnar down again. Cue the Wyatts and the numbers get the better of Reigns but Brock sends the Family after Lesnar. They circle Brock and get in a shot apiece with Sister Abigail’s Kiss leaving Brock laying to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This is always a tricky show to grade as it’s certainly not about the wrestling. The show before the Royal Rumble is about setting up the battle royal and they did that well enough, though they’re making no secret that it’s mainly about Reigns vs. Lesnar. The problem with that is any major surprises can completely change the course of the Rumble so a lot of this might not matter. At least we got some build to the rest of the show, but Sunday is a one match show and the build for that was ok at best. Not a great show but it did enough of what it was supposed to do.

Results

Roman Reigns b. Rusev – Spear

Natalya b. Brie Bella – Sharpshooter

Big Show b. Heath Slater – KO Punch

Becky Lynch b. Tamina – Disarm-Her

Sheamus/Alberto Del Rio b. Kalisto/Dean Ambrose – Brogue Kick to Kalisto

Big E. b. Jey Uso – Big Ending

Neville/Titus O’Neil/R-Truth/Mark Henry b. Stardust/Tyler Breeze/Ascension – Red Arrow to Breeze

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




The #1 Entrant In The Royal Rumble Is…

Yep.It’s Roman Reigns.  Were you expecting anything else?  The drawing was rigged of course.