Ring of Honor
Date: August 3, 2016
Location: Cabarrus Arena, Concord, North Carolina
Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Kevin Kelly

We’re two and a half weeks away from Death Before Dishonor and it should be interesting to see how they get around last week’s ruling. Last week ROH matchmaker Nigel McGuinness said Adam Cole will NEVER get a World Title shot against Jay Lethal…..and then the match was announced on ROH’s website last week. They really need to time this stuff better. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of last week’s World Title match with Cole and the Young Bucks injuring Kyle O’Reilly. This seems to be setting up Jay Lethal’s face turn.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Lethal with something to say. What happened to O’Reilly last week just wasn’t right and Jay wants to do something about it. Last week Cole took the shot away from O’Reilly and it’s time to do something about it. Tonight is supposed to be Young Bucks vs. the Briscoe Brothers, so let’s just add Lethal and Cole to make it a six man. Nigel agrees to the match and we have a new main event.

Steve Corino and Kevin Sullivan are in a park with Corino talking about embracing his evil. Sullivan blames Corino for ending the legacy of evil by having a family. I’d still love to hear why Kevin Sullivan is on my TV in 2016.

P-Dogg (former referee Mike Posey) is in the ring with his Getalong Gang to call out Moose.

Moose vs. P-Dogg

The Getalong Gang is thrown away like a group of rappers called the Getalong Gang is going to be, leaving one of them to be powerbombed over the top rope onto the rest. Dogg’s microphone shot to the head doesn’t work and a buckle bomb followed by two spears give Moose the pin at 1:16.

Post match here are Prince Nana and Donovan Dijak with something to say. Nana says he brought Moose to Ring of Honor and it’s been fun to see Moose dominating all these smaller talents. Instead, how about Moose vs. Dijak right now?

Moose vs. Donovan Dijak

Moose jumps him at the bell (which thankfully rings as we come back from a break and not before we go to one) but gets dropkicked out to the floor. Moose swings him into the barricade in one of those very cool power displays, only to charge into a chokeslam onto the apron. Back in and Dijak loads up something on top but Moose pops up with a dropkick to knock him to the floor in a nasty looking crash.

A Sky High gets two for Moose and it’s time for the big slugout. Moose gets the better of it thanks to the fist pumps and kicks Dijak in the face. A discus lariat looks to set up the spear but Dijak sends it into the corner. The chokebreaker gets one on Moose and Dijak is stunned. It’s not bad enough that he can’t give Moose Feast Your Eyes for the pin at 7:25.

Rating: C. I liked this more than I was expecting to as it was just two big guys beating on each other until one of them couldn’t get up anymore. That’s all it needed to be and it’s a good way for Moose to go out as he heads to TNA. Dijak needs to get away from Nana, who is becoming as valuable as Mr. Fuji or Slick at this point.

Post match Nana tells Dijak to kick Stokely in the head, which will likely write Moose and Stokely off TV.

Addiction says they’re awesome.

Colt Cabana gets his World Title rematch next week.

The Cabinet thinks they’re going to build a wall around the Young Bucks which the Bucks will pay for with a t-shirt and 8×10 sale. They don’t like Moose either.

Young Bucks/Adam Cole vs. Jay Lethal/Briscoe Brothers

Matt Taven is on commentary again. For the sake of sanity, I’ll only refer to Jay Lethal as Lethal and Jay Briscoe as Jay. It’s a big staredown and brawl to start with Mark (sporting a big haircut) hitting a Blockbuster off the apron to take Nick down. A double superkick saves Cole from a powerbomb over the top and the Bullet Club stands tall. Things settle down to Jay playing face in peril as the Club takes turns on him.

Matt comes in off the top with a double stomp to the shoulder, which is then sent into the turnbuckle. A quick fall away slam (more like an AA) allows the tag off to Mark, meaning it’s time for Cole to take a beating of his own. The Froggy Bow is broken up with Mark being shoved off the top and through a table for the big spot of the match. Back from a break with Mark being helped to the back to make this a handicap match, at least for the time being.

Lethal gets caught in a chinlock as the announcers talk about Taven’s sexual voice. A backbreaker and neckbreaker combination plants Lethal but he grabs the Lethal Combination on Nick for a breather. The hot tag brings in Jay for superkicks all around but Cole sends him head first into the mat as we take a break. Back with the Lethal Injection being countered with a double superkick. Jay has some better luck with a double clothesline, setting up the Lethal Injection on Cole. Lethal rolls Nick up for the pin at 13:47.

Rating: C. This was a bit too messy for my tastes and as much as I like seeing the Bullet Club lose, it wasn’t the right call to have them lose this match. The last thing you want is to have your heel stable look like they’re not capable of beating the teams the top guys, especially when they have a man advantage.

Post match Jay takes a Jay Driller onto a chair, leaving Lethal all alone. A triple superkick knocks him silly and it’s time for a haircut. They go almost all the way too as you can see most of Lethal’s scalp. Cole holds up the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I like the idea of them focusing on the World Title picture for extended periods of time for a change as it’s often not that clear what the top story is in this company. That being said, there’s also stuff like the Prince Nana mess and the huge waste of time that is the Kevin Sullivan story. They need to start setting up some more stuff for Death Before Dishonor, though it would be nice if they didn’t spoil their stories on their own website.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Ring of Honor
Date: July 20, 2016
Location: Cabarrus Arena, Concord, North Carolina
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Nigel McGuinness

We’re less than a month away from Death Before Dishonor and it should be interesting to see how much ROH can cram into the card in the next few weeks. I mean, there’s always the possibility of bringing the New Japan guys in again as they haven’t been around in a full week at this point. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Kamaitachi vs. Jay White

This is fallout from Best In The World where Kamaitachi attacked White (a New Zealander), who was in the crowd. Naturally the commentators just show us this happening without actually saying anything. White’s name isn’t even mentioned in the clip they show. Kamaitachi is part of the Addiction (the New Japan contingent) and has Christopher Daniels in his corner. White is a good looking kid and New Japan Dojo graduate making his ROH debut.

Kamaitachi jumps him to start and a running shoulder to the ribs puts White on the floor. I’m not a big fan of the guy but Daniels is rather awesome as the overly proud manager. That’s something you can almost count on from a veteran and it adds a lot. They trade whips into the barricade and Daniels adds a clothesline to really cheat. Back from a break with Kamaitachi working on the leg with a modified figure four.

White escapes and hits a brainbuster but can’t nip up. That’s better selling than you get most of the time. A missile dropkick gets two for Jay but Kamaitachi hits a release Falcon’s Arrow. Double knees from the top rope get two on Jay and a swinging Rock Bottom gets the same on Kamaitachi. Daniels’ interference doesn’t quite work as Jay sends Kamaitachi into him, setting up something like a lifting Cradle Shock (Chris Sabin’s old finisher, called the Kiwi Crusher here) for the pin at 10:25.

Rating: C. Who are these people and why should I care? That’s what comes to my head far too often when I see New Japan wrestlers on this show: I have really no reason to care about these people and the wrestling is nowhere near good enough to overcome that lack of an emotional connection. I know a lot of fans only care about the in ring action but I need more than that and it lacks almost every time with this revolving door of imports. The match was fine but without a reason to care, it was just two people doing moves to each other.

The Addiction beats White down until the Motor City Machine Guns make the save. Now why couldn’t they have made this a proxy match for the teams’ feud? Sabin wants to make it a six man tag right now and McGuinness says ring the bell.

Addiction/Kamaitachi vs. Motor City Machine Guns/Jay White

Following WWE’s bad example, the bell rings and we take a break five seconds later with no one even in the ring yet. Back with Sabin getting double teamed followed by a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker from Daniels. Kamaitachi hits a running basement dropkick before it’s off to Kazarian for a front facelock. Everything breaks down for a little bit and the hot tag brings in White for some running clotheslines. A powerslam gets two on Daniels and the Guns start in with some of their signature stuff, including the bridging neck crank into the running dropkick. With everyone else on the floor, White hits a sitout powerslam to pin Daniels at 9:10.

Rating: C+. I’m still not a fan of the Guns in ROH but this was an improvement for the simple fact that I know who these people are and who they’re having issues. White looked fine and was probably the best part of the match but I need a little more of a reason to care about the two newcomers. Having four others in there helped but White and Kamaitachi need some work.

The Bullet Club is tired of everyone running from Adam Cole, who promises that Kyle O’Reilly will never be ROH World Champion. If I were them, I’d be tired of that whole ending at Global Wars still not going anywhere. Was there a point to that or was it really just a random beatdown that might lead somewhere in a few months?

Shane Taylor/Keith Lee vs. Victor Andrews/James Anthony

Taylor and Lee are two monsters in suits who attacked War Machine at a recent show in Columbus. Anthony is sent outside early on and it’s time for the loud chops. A pop up sitout powerbomb sets up a middle rope splash (Senmetsu, Japanese for annihilation) crushes Andrews at 2:00.

War Machine comes out for the brawl with Lee, who probably goes about 350lbs, hitting a huge flip dive over the top to take everyone out.

Quick preview for Jay Lethal vs. Kyle O’Reilly for the World Title next week. Both of them want to prove that they’re the best in the world. This was a simple exchange but it’s far more than we get most of the time.

Here’s BJ Whitmer to brag about beating Steve Corino at Best in the World. He’s accompanied by KEVIN SULLIVAN, in a purple wizard robe, who cost Corino the match. Whitmer says tonight is about Steve Corino’s questions. This started back in 2013 when Whitmer was sitting at home with a broken neck.

Sullivan approached him to carry on the legacy of evil that was started by King Curtis Iaukea and was supposed to be handed on to Corino and Whitmer. That wasn’t good enough though because Corino wanted it all for himself. Chaos is going to reign over ROH and all that matters is who will be causing that chaos to come. This chapter is over but the book has yet to be finished.

Does ANYONE want to see this ridiculous feud continue? Apparently this has been going on for three years now and they brought in KEVIN SULLIVAN to keep it going? That’s really the best they can do? Bring in someone who hasn’t been a regular wrestler in over twelve years (assuming you count a run in FIP as being a regular wrestler) because they’re evil? This really is the best thing they can come up with? As usual, ROH seems to have no idea how to just end something so they just keep it going, likely until Final Battle. The fans called this boring, which really isn’t something you hear around here.

Dalton Castle vs. Roderick Strong

There’s no real hiding the fact that this is Strong’s farewell match. Strong is taken into the corner to start and Castle tells him to bring it. Castle puts him on the mat and slams him for good measure. Now it’s Strong taking him to the mat as this is still in first gear. We take a break and come back with Castle being kneed off the apron, meaning it’s time for some fanning. Strong lays out the Boys and you just don’t do that to Castle.

Dalton’s fire is quickly extinguished with an Angle Slam into the post and both guys are down on the floor. Back in and some suplexes have Strong in trouble but he comes right back with a belly to back faceplant. Castle throws him down with a backdrop and some suicide dives send Strong into the barricade. The bridging German suplex gets two for Castle followed by more suplexes for the same. Dalton charges into a jumping knee to the face followed by a superplex and the Sick Kick for two. Back up and Strong charges into the Bang A Rang for the pin at 13:44.

Rating: C. This was fine but again it was just two people doing moves to each other. Castle lost a lot of steam with that loss to Fish though I get why they didn’t want to take the title off Bobby so soon. Strong didn’t get a sendoff or anything but maybe they just want him to quietly slip away instead of drawing the attention away from Castle and his win.

Overall Rating: C-. Slightly better show than last week as they’re still pretty much starting over from scratch since almost nothing was developed for weeks and months at a time. Having Cole mention Lethal and a World Title match announced for next week should help, especially with a pay per view in less than a month.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Today we’re looking at a guy who was small but tough: Kevin Sullivan.

Sullivan got started all the way back in 1970s. We’ll pick him up as a jobber in the WWF on August 7, 1976 in MSG.

Kevin Sullivan vs. Bruiser Brody

This is Brody’s MSG debut. It’s so strange to see anyone but the Fink doing the announcing. In a sign of the times, Brody’s manager the Grand Wizard heads to the back as managers weren’t allowed at ringside back then. Brody doesn’t seem to mind as he pounds Sullivan up against the ropes. Some choking ensues but Sullivan avoids a charge in the corner. That’s the extent of the good part of the match for Sullivan though as Brody torture racks him for the win.

We’ll jump ahead to the first Starrcade in 1983.

Kevin Sullivan/Mark Lewin vs. Scott McGhee/Johnny Weaver

McGhee and Sullivan get things going meaning we don’t have a tall man in the ring at all. Off to Lewin to slap McGhee in the back and tag out to Sullivan again. Weaver gets the tag and we get a crisscross resulting in Sullivan holding onto the ropes to avoid a right hand. Lewin comes back in but Weaver starts cranking on his arm to gain control. Off to Scott again as Lewin isn’t sure what to do.

Mark and Kevin start tagging in and out very quickly to work on Scott’s arm with knees and chops to the shoulder. Lewin comes in to crank on both arms at once but Scott manages to make a tag while still in the hold. That would be very impressive but the tag doesn’t count as the referee didn’t see it. Lewin and Sullivan stay on the arm before it’s a nerve hold by Mark. Sullivan comes back in but lets McGhee go long enough for the hot tag to Weaver. Johnny cleans house but has his bulldog broken up by Sullivan. Now it’s Weaver getting pounded down and Lewin comes in off the top rope with a knee to the arm….for the pin? Seriously?

Rating: C-. It was better than the opener but not by much. The arm stuff was fine although the ending was out of nowhere. Sullivan just held the arm while Lewin jumped onto it for the pin. The match wasn’t bad but we’re now a fourth of the way through the show and no good guy has won yet. That’s some questionable booking.

Another big jump forward to Clash of the Champions V as Sullivan is part of the Varsity Club.

US Tag Team Titles: Varsity Club vs. Fantastics

Kevin Sullivan and Steve Williams had taken the titles from the Fantastics at Starrcade but tonight it’s Williams and Rotunda defending. Ross puts over the idea that the Varsity Club is going to try for a submission because the Fantastics have never given up before. Rotunda and Rogers get things going with some high quality stalling. A fireman’s carry puts Tommy down and the stalling continues. Rogers finally gets things going with a cross body for two but it’s quickly off to Williams for some raw power. Rotunda helps Williams for a double clothesline from the apron and the champions take control.

Fulton comes in a few seconds later for a double dropkick and some dancing to very little amusement from the crowd. The stalling continues and we get an inset promo from Rick Steiner, saying he’ll take care of Rotunda in Chicago. Williams runs Fulton over and brings Rotunda back in, only to have him get caught in a sunset flip for two. Bobby cross bodies Steve for two more and it’s back to Rogers for a dropkick followed by more standing around.

Steve runs him over again and Rotunda gets the tag to slow the pace even more. Fulton gets sent to the floor where Williams runs him over with a clothesline before dropping him face first on the apron. A top rope ax handle gets two for Williams and a clothesline gets the same for Rotunda. No real sign of the attempted submissions yet. Fulton avoids a knee drop but Williams breaks up a hot tag attempt.

A big shoulder tackle puts Fulton down again but he grabs the ropes to block the Oklahoma Stampede. Now the hot tag brings in Rogers as everything breaks down. Tommy hits what was supposed to be a top rope cross body to Williams but hits him more in the back, only to have Rotunda get in a cheap shot to give Williams the pin.

Rating: C-. This is a good example of the difference between slow paced and boring. They weren’t going fast here, but they were doing stuff throughout the match. This was very different, and much more entertaining, than the previous two matches which were often move, move, three minute chinlock. It wasn’t a great match or anything, but there’s a huge difference between the two styles and it made this match much easier to sit through. The Fantastics were done as a team in the NWA soon after this.

Here are some more good opponents at Great American Bash 1989.

Varsity Club vs. Steiner Brothers

This is under Texas Tornado rules and is Scott’s debut on PPV. Sullivan and Rotunda here as they’re all that’s left. The Steiners bring actual dogs with them. Kevin and Rick fight on the floor as this is of course just a massive brawl. Apparently this is no DQ also as Kevin rams Rick into a table and it’s all fine. Rick busts out a belly to belly in the ring though as Scott just destroys Mike.

Scott gets double teamed as they are flying through this. The evildoers get stereo twos as I’m liking this brawl style here. Rick brings in a chair or something like it and gets blasted in the head with it in a painful looking spot. Kevin picks up Rick for a slam but Scott comes off the top onto Rick’s back for a double splash more or less and the pin on Kevin. Total nonstop action here to coin a phrase.

Rating: B. This was incredibly fun. It was about four and a half minutes long, but this was very similar to the Nasty Boys vs. Cactus Jack/random partner matches in 94 as they just beat the fire out of each other from bell to bell. What more can you really ask for other than it being longer? This was the end of the Varsity Club as Rotunda left before coming back next year as a sailor while Sullivan hooked up with a bunch of crazy characters, one of which was a newcomer named Cactus Jack. You may have heard of him.

Time to torture some skateboarders at Wrestlewar 1990.

Kevin Sullivan/Buzz Sawyer vs. Dynamic Dudes

Sawyer is insane and that’s about all you need to know about him. He starts with Ace and these people are a bit more receptive than the Philly crowd was in our last show. Speaking of last shows, this is the final major show that Sawyer was on for WCW if that means anything for you. Ace sends him to the floor and a brawl breaks out on the outside. Shane and Sullivan come in and the Dudes keep control with the arm work.

Ace comes in to work on the arm more but Sullivan gets a tag. He also gets in a fight with Sawyer, much to the Dudes’ amusement. That’s smart: why break up a fight when you can get a breather? Sawyer’s arm goes into the post so Shane cranks on it. Out to the floor with Sawyer taking over. Sunset flip gets two for Ace and there’s the tag to Shane. Buzz immediately takes him down and hooks a bearhug to take Shane to the mat.

Sullivan comes in and pops Ace, which draws him in so that Sullivan can throw Shane to the floor. Everything breaks down and Johnny botches a flying headscissors. Sawyer goes up and hits a big old flying splash for the pin. That’s the interim Raw GM and the Executive Vice President of Talent Relations for you. Funk called it the Jam Sandwich, which is something Brodus should use.

Rating: C-. Not much here as none of these guys was much to watch at this point. I’ve never been a big fan of Shane and Ace is just ok. He never was all that good as his size became an issue for him but he was too slim to be a power guy. Not a very good match with a total contrast in styles that didn’t work at all.

Sullivan would head to the indies for a bit after this, including this match at ECW Ultraclash 1993.

Abdullah the Butcher/Kevin Sullivan vs. Terry Funk/Stan Hansen

This is more or less anything goes. Terry goes up the scaffold. It’s a Bunkhouse Match, which was Dusty’s idea of anything goes. No story here it appears but rather just four crazy guys that can fight. Chairs are brought in and it’s Sullivan vs. Funk and the other two fight also. Ok never mind no they don’t. Abdullah throws photographers out of the way to get to Funk. Joey is LOVING this.

They trade off we actually get to the ring. Sullivan and Funk go up the scaffold as I realize how weird it is to see Hansen in America. It’s just not something you see that often. Funk is busted open. Naturally there’s no flow or anything like that and it’s just a wild brawl. Funk gets a chair and blasts everyone with it. Abdullah can barely move but that’s typical for him and not meant as a knock to him.

I’m pretty sure everyone is bleeding now and Sullivan blasts Funk in the head with a hammer. Ok that was insane. That’s beyond FREAKING OW MAN. Abdullah accidently hits Sullivan and Funk goes for a Figure Four on him of all things. Someone with a chair comes in and we actually get a DQ. It’s Eddie Gilbert. Dang I thought he was gone. Funk and Hansen win.

Rating: B+. Totally wild brawl but the DQ ending killed it. This was exactly what it was supposed to be: totally violent with no semblance of order or anything like it. This is the life’s blood of ECW and something tells me this is a Heyman thing. The bunch of run ins after the match ended are practically a trademark of his.

Off to SMW at some point in 1993.

Brian Lee vs. Kevin Sullivan

This is part of along feud where Sullivan has sent a series of men to try and take Lee out before finally just doing the job himself. This is a Singapore Spike match where there is a box on each corner and only one holds a spike to use as a weapon. Brian’s partner Tim Horner and Sullivan’s minion the Nightstalker are handcuffed to posts. Lee hammers away to start and the fight is quickly on the floor. Sullivan sends him face first into a table and nails him with a chair but can’t get into a box.

Lee is thrown to the floor but comes back in with a chair to the back. Two boxes are checked and empty so they head back outside to brawl some more. Sullivan hits him in the ribs with a hammer to almost no effect. Back in and Sullivan stabs him with pliers before checking the other two boxes. There’s no spike so Lee makes his comeback with right hands and a cross body which takes out the referee. Nightstalker gets on the apron with the spike in his hand but hits Sullivan by mistake, allowing Brian to roll him up for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was a decent brawl and the story helped things a bit. It’s always a plus when you give me a reason to care why the face is in trouble but wants to fight anyway as it makes him seem like a hero and the villain look like a coward for resorting to cheating. Lee is getting better as he’s starting to find himself in the ring.

Back to WCW for a fairly memorable run, starting at Slamboree 1994.

WCW Tag Titles: Cactus Jack/Kevin Sullivan vs. Nasty Boys

It’s a Broadstreet Bully match, meaning hardcore. Nasty Boys are the heel champions here. Naturally this is just a big brawl which is what the Nastys were good at. Now THEY would have been good for ECW. It’s good that Foley is here as he’s the only one with a good deal of wrestling talent. In a very funny and smart spot, Cactus comes at Knobbs with a trash can and Knobbs gets his hands up. Jack’s solution: throw it at his feet.

That’s thinking as you go which is what made Foley great. They’re trying to top Spring Stampede I think but Sullivan’s suckiness is preventing that. Sags gets a table to a HUGE pop. To keep things NASTY, he gets tired carrying it. This is nowhere near as intense though and there’s a lot more walking around doing very little. In a nice finish, Schultz does his standard thing of pulling the shirt over the other guy’s head and punches him as Cactus hits him with a hockey stick for the pin and new champions. Maxx Payne hits Sags with a guitar for general purposes.

Rating: B-. This was a good fight, but it’s the sequel to a great fight. This felt like it was trying to be a great fight. That being said, it was still very fun. Jack vs. the Nasty Boys was fun as Jack was just as insane as they were but he could think. This was fun and again, since this is the only match like this all night, it stands out far more and looks better than it would if there had been this almost in every match, ala ECW.

Here’s the showdown at Fall Brawl 1994.

Kevin Sullivan vs. Cactus Jack

The announcer says it’s Loser Leaves WCW and then explains that the stipulation is that the loser leaves WCW. WOW. Yeah this Foley guy has no future here so he needs to move on. That’s Hogan’s idea at least. Again, another young guy with talent that’s over has no place at all in Hogan’s company, no sir. We can’t have young talent here that could show up Hogan. Give me a break.

We don’t actually go to the ring first but rather out into the crowd. This is really just a fight instead of a match which is what makes sense. Foley had recently lost his ear in a match with Vader in Germany which was never turned into a story like Foley wanted to. According to Foley in his book, WCW didn’t want to push a hot feud that the fans were into and good matches were being produced from. That just can’t happen.

Jack throws in a chair but nothing comes of it. This is all Jack selling and Sullivan trying desperately to convince a single person that he has talent. Dave, Kevin’s brother, keeps Cactus from using a chair. Kevin tries to use one also and Dave stops him.

Cactus rams into him on the apron which for some reason knocks him down long enough for a pin. Off to ECW and credibility Jack, even though you were very over in WCW and getting more and more respect every day and having good matches. We have no need to that pesky talent thing.

Rating: D+. This was all Cactus here as he made Sullivan look good, thereby proving that he was awesome. Again, let me make this clear: Mick Foley, 4 time world champion and surefire Hall of Fame wrestler, was thrown out in favor of the Taskmaster. Let that sink in for a minute and tell me Hogan isn’t hurting this company in the long run.

And a totally different kind of match at Starrcade 1994.

Mr. T. vs. Kevin Sullivan

Mr. T. was with Mr. T. at the first Wrestlemania and has been associated with him on and off ever since. He’s in a referee shirt and hat here for no apparent reason. T sidesteps Sullivan to start and hiptosses him down….as Santa comes out. Some headbutts put Sullivan in the corner and T pounds away, only to be sent out to the floor.

Sullivan rips his shirt over T’s head and pounds away as a cameraman goes down. They stay on the floor with Sullivan continuing to pound away until Jimmy Hart, Hogan’s manager, comes out. The distraction lets him slip his megaphone to Santa (Kevin’s brother) who blasts Kevin in the head, giving T the pin.

Rating: F. Was there a point to this that I was missing? It wasn’t even four minutes long and T was on offense for all of thirty seconds. The rest of this was Sullivan slowly beating on T outside before the finish. Other than that, not much to see here at all but I guess T brought in some extra buys for the show.

Sullivan would transition into a managerial role around this point but still wrestled occasionally, including this match on Nitro, September 25, 1995.

Taskmaster vs. Randy Savage

How did a guy like Sullivan get Woman? That makes no sense. Taskmaster jumps him early and Zodiac is on the floor. That’s gimmick number 8 million for Beefcake that didn’t work out. A barber is the best he can do. That’s very amusing. Did Sullivan ever do anything of note? I can’t think of anything. Savage gets crotched over the barricade and he’s in trouble.

This match is on fast forward it seems. And there’s Zodiac for the DQ. Actually never mind. Blatant interference is fine but shoving the referee to fight for your life isn’t. Giant comes out and beats the tar out of Savage as jobbers come out to try to beat up Giant for some reason. Alex Wright comes out and gets beaten up too.

Luger comes out and we have some intrigue here. Luger of all people was one of the most interesting people in the company around this time. He goes after Giant too and takes a chokeslam. He actually had everyone guessing as to which side he was on, which was a fun angle. Then the NWO ended that.

Rating: N/A. This was a fight rather than a match but was designed to add more to the Hogan/Giant and Luger/Savage feuds. Yeah I’m shocked too.

Here’s Sullivan’s best match ever as part of his blood feud with Chris Benoit. I’m sure you’ve heard the story a dozen times, but in short, Sullivan was booking and came up with a story where Benoit stole Sullivan’s real life wife Woman, but that’s exactly what happened in real life. Here’s their first showdown at Great American Bash 1996.

Chris Benoit vs. Kevin Sullivan

This is falls count anywhere. Now this was a very interesting story to say the least. The idea is that the Dungeon and the Horsemen want to team up to fight Hogan, but these two hate each other too much. As for the real life story, these two HATED each other. There was a storyline where Benoit stole Sullivan’s storyline wife. To play up the storyline, they traveled together.

However, it soon became real life as Nancy Woman Sullivan left Kevin for Benoit. The feuds you would see on TV would often be shoots instead of works, with these two really beating the heck out of each other. It’s this match where Benoit allegedly became a big deal, and if I remember it right, that’s a very fair assessment to make.

They’re beating the living tar out of each other very early on and if these shots aren’t legit, they’re the best fakes I’ve ever seen. Almost immediately they’re out in the crowd. They go up into the stands and go into the men’s room. Benoit gets his head slammed in a stall door which has to hurt horribly. For some reason there’s like 25 people in there, which shows how interested the people were in this show.

They fight over shoving the other’s head into the commode. Dusty loses his mind over a woman being in the men’s room. Sullivan lands a great shot with some toilet paper as this is just a wild fight. You really can see the mega star in Benoit just begging to be unleashed, but alas it wouldn’t happen for several years. In a very painful spot, Benoit is thrown down the stairs in the arena.

Jimmy has been standing in the ring the whole time. They say why would people want to come in and declare war? That would make a lot more sense if guys like Benoit got to fight them. Benoit vs. Nash when Nash was worth something. How’s that sound? Tony for some reason can’t get the difference between a chair and a table.

We have a D-Von Special as we get one of the old school tables, as in the oens that don’t break. They sit the table on the top rope and Benoit wins with a snap suplex off the top, which looks painful as all goodness. Dusty says you don’t want to get caught in the bathroom with Benoit. Anderson runs out to save Sullivan from Benoit but beats up Sullivan with him, officially reforming the Horsemen to a MASSIVE pop. The Dungeon runs out for the save as the Horsemen leave together.

Rating: A. DANG this was a wild fight. Benoit looked like a star out there and he and Sullivan just beat the tar out of each other. Benoit had everything you could want, and he didn’t even use the Crossface yet. How WCW screwed this up is truly beyond me. This match was just pure brutality, making it a very fun match all around. Not great from a technical perspective, but it wasn’t supposed to be at all. Very fun and a pure breath of fresh air given how bad this show has been so far.

Another part of the feud at Bash at the Beach 1996.

Chris Benoit/Arn Anderson vs. Taskmaster/The Giant

Ok so there are two things to keep in mind here. If the Horsemen win, a Horseman gets a shot at the Giant the following night for the title. The second thing is that no one can beat the Giant so they’re going to focus on Sullivan. They brawl in the aisle and Mongo runs out with the briefcase he had to nail Giant who chases Mongo to the back, making it a handicap match for a bit.

It means nothing as Giant is back in like 8 seconds. Ok then. Now Benoit and Sullivan were having a GREAT feud where most of it was shoot stuff as Benoit had (kayfabe) stolen Woman, who was in real life married to Sullivan. In real life, Benoit and Woman had an affair and in real life Woman left Sullivan for Benoit. So in other words, they legit hated each other and were in brutal fights with each other.

Sullivan gets to get beaten on forever as we realize that the match is over once Giant comes in. So he gets a tag (to a freaking POP) and the Horsemen run. Benoit and Sullivan fight up to the announce area as Giant beats Anderson up like a jobber and the chokeslam ends it in like a minute. Benoit dives off of the announcers’ stage to plow into Sullivan.

That could have been a top five ever feud if Sullivan hadn’t sucked so much. Benoit is just destroying him at this point until Woman comes out and yells at Chris to stop it. This never went anywhere because of the NWO. Benoit was just awesome back then, even moreso than he would become. Giant carries Sullivan off like a 6 pack which is kind of funny.

Rating: D+. This did its job and that’s it. There was nothing to the match but somehow it went eight minutes. This was just a filler to set up the next chapter in Benoit vs. Sullivan and to be fair it did that, but we’ll never know where it went after that. Giant being an unstoppable force was perfect for him here.

Here’s a bit match from Nitr, December 16, 1996.

Arn Anderson vs. Kevin Sullivan

Sullivan blames Schiavone for showing the videos (of Benoit and Woman) on the way to the ring. The brawl stats in the aisle and Sullivan throws a chair at his head. Anderson misses a swing with the chair and hits the post by mistake. They go into the ring for what must have been a good 4 seconds before heading into the crowd.

They go into the ring for the first time that you can actually keep track of and the referee gets a DDT. Sullivan double stomps him and ties Anderson into the Tree of Woe but Anderson manages to kick him low. Here’s Hugh Morrus who gets a DDT. Konnan gets a left hand and Sullivan manages to hit Anderson with a wooden chair for the pin.

Rating: N/A. I can’t really grade this as a match because it was a brawl instead of an actual match. It was entertaining which is really all you can ask for here. Benoit would get back soon enough, namely due to being in the US Title tournament. This was a fun brawl but there isn’t much of a reason to watch it from a storyline perspective as the heat was on Benoit.

Another showdown at SuperBrawl 1997.

Chris Benoit vs. Kevin Sullivan

This is a death match which means street fight. Jackie is with Sullivan and Woman is with Benoit. The chicks will be strapped together for no apparent reason. These two feuded FOREVER and it never particularly went anywhere other than giving us one or two great matches and then the guys trying to redo the matches over and over again which never worked. This would be (I think/hope) the final one.

Both pairs start brawling and it’s a nice pop for that surprisingly. The women are the focus here of course as Benoit and Sullivan have the most basic match you can have that is still classified as pro wrestling. They’re suplexing each other, as in butterfly/regular varieties, in a DEATH match. Woman crotches Sullivan with the strap and the girls get unattached. Benoit gets hung, which I guess you could call foreshadowing?

Dusty freaks out because a woman is doing something so this is turned into a total joke. The girls beat on the guys as I want this to end very badly. The guys watch the girls then wake up and beat on each other. The girls get left in the ring as the guys fight up the aisle. It’s split screen time because WCW enjoys doing that for some reason.

The guys fight into the back and we’re on one screen now. They throw stuff at each other and it’s time to go back into the arena after about a minute or so. The referee, ever the genius, stayed with the girls instead of going to the back where a pin could have happened. Back in the ring and Benoit gets caught in the Tree of Woe, which is one of Sullivan’s finishers.

Woman saves and Benoit pops up to piledrive Sullivan. Jackie doesn’t hit Woman but she falls down anyway. It’s table time which wasn’t a well known wrestling thing yet so it was still a fairly big deal. Sullivan goes on the table, Jackie gets on top of him for the sake of protection, Benoit is like screw it and dives on both of them, the table doesn’t break, Sullivan is pinned under the table.

Rating: D. Terribly boring stuff here as this was a DEATH match and it was a comedy match. No idea what they thought the appeal to this would be but it didn’t work in the slightest. This feud was straight up played already so they kept going with it for months and months on end. Weak match, feud sucked, wasn’t funny.

And now a retirement match at Bash at the Beach 1997 to finally end this feud.

Kevin Sullivan vs. Chris Benoit

This is a career match and Jackie is out with Sullivan. No Woman though. Sullivan hasn’t wrestled in three months and Benoit is a Horseman. You figure the ending out. This is the final match of a feud that has gone on for a year now and it’s another slugfest which was done best the first time and has gone downhill ever since. Sullivan suplexes him to the floor and it’s a brawl already.

They tear apart a piece of the guardrail and Benoit suplexes Jackie. She of course no sells it because she’s Jackie and can take moves from men so she’s tough and should be on TV for the next 10 years right? Benoit is finally like screw this and tosses her at Sullivan then pounds on him for awhile. She interferes again because she can I guess. Jackie needs to get hit by a bus. Seriously.

They fight up to the set and Benoit goes through a surfboard house. I don’t think this is No DQ but who cares I guess. Benoit has sand all over him. They destroy most of the set and Sullivan is thrown into a tree. Sullivan takes a beach chair to the head and Jackie hits Benoit again. Seriously, go away. They fight to the other side of the set and keep punching each other.

Sullivan hits a Piledriver in the aisle and since it’s been 18 seconds since Jackie did something, she drops some elbows. Kevin gets a garbage can lid shot to Benoit’s lid but it just fires Chris up. And never mind as he gets sent to the floor so Jimmy can get some shots in. Benoit gets hung upside down with his back to the apron and Sullivan chops away even more.

Back in and Benoit pounds away on him even more. Sullivan bites his stomach so Benoit bites Sullivan’s ear. Crossface goes on but only gets two arm drops. Heenan says this show has the largest audience in the history of PPV. I won’t even start on that one. Benoit pulls him back to the middle and puts it right back on but can’t get it full.

The hold is broken so Chris kicks him a lot. Now he chops him a lot and Sullivan is a face somehow. He Hulks Up for lack of a better term and puts Benoit in the Tree of Woe. Three running knees hit him as Jackie gets a wooden chair. Jackie pops Sullivan with the chair for no apparent reason other than to give herself a reason to yell some more. Swan Dive ends Sullivan’s career.

Rating: C-. The problem for this comes down to one thing: they had the same match for a year straight. Why in the world would I want to watch another big brawl between these two so many times over and over again? It’s not horrible but we’ve seen it such a ridiculous amount of times that no one cares. Also, WAY too much Jackie time here.

Sullivan would come back for a one off match at Starrcade 1999.

Jim Duggan/???/???/??? vs. Revolution

Oh and if Duggan loses, the Revolution has to do his janitor job for thirty days, but if Duggan loses he has to renounce his citizenship on Nitro. Duggan’s partners are…..the Varsity Club. Yes, the same three guys (Rick Steiner, Kevin Sullivan and Mike Rotundo) from 1988 are back again for absolutely no apparent reason. Instead of Shane in the match, it’s WCW’s version of WWF bodybuilding chick Chyna, named Asya. Get the joke? Also Benoit isn’t here because of the US Title match later tonight.

Duggan wants to start the match himself so he sticks his tongue out at the Varsity Club. Saturn starts for the Revolution and gets pounded down by Duggan so it’s Malenko’s turn. Jim beats him down as well with the Three Point Clothesline but he doesn’t seem interested in tagging. The Varsity Club yells at him and you can feel the heel turn coming from here. Saturn comes in again with a springboard missile dropkick to take Duggan down.

The Revolution takes turns beating on Duggan in the corner as this is rapidly going nowhere. Dean hits him with the Revolution flag and even Asya gets in some shots of her own. The Varsity Club finally gets bored of standing on the apron and everything breaks down. To the shock of no one paying attention, the former heel stable turns on Duggan and lays him out, allowing Douglas to come in and steal the pin.

Rating: D. As predicted, no one knew who the Varsity Club was so no one cared when they turned on him. Why Duggan would pick them as partners is beyond me, but as mentioned he wasn’t that bright. This was a waste of Malenko and Saturn, which is a big part of why the bailed to the WWF along with Guerrero and Benoit in about a month.

Sullivan never was the best wrestler but he could have a decent brawl. His feud with Benoit, while WAY too long, produced some very solid fights, including the classic at Great American Bash 1996. There are a lot of others who could have better matches than he could, but he made the most of his career, which lasted nearly thirty years. That puts him on a very short list with some great company.

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For my Christmas present to you, we’re looking at the strongest force in the universe: the Mega Powers.

The team got started when the Hart Foundation and Honky Tonk Man attacked Savage, causing Elizabeth to head to the back to get help. She picked Hulk Hogan for the save and the amazing handshake followed. Here they are in their first major tag match together, in the main event of Summerslam 1988.

Mega Powers vs. Mega Bucks

Jesse sends all three managers (Virgil, Heenan and Liz) to the floor but not to the back. He also makes the teams change corners for no apparent reason. Savage gets to fight Andre to start but it’s quickly off to DiBiase. He wants Hogan and gets both Hulk and an atomic drop into a right hand from Savage. Hogan pounds DiBiase as well and it’s off to Savage for some double elbows. A top rope ax handle gets two for Savage off a slow count from Ventura.

Andre comes in to beat Hogan down but Jesse is with Liz. Now the Giant comes in legally and sits on Hogan’s chest a few times before putting on a nerve hold. With DiBiase coming in sans tag, Andre chokes away with his singlet. Ted comes in legally for a near fall off a clothesline before dropping those trademark fists of his. Off to a chinlock which Gorilla swears is a choke. Hogan finally elbows his way out of the hold but a double clothesline puts both guys down.

The hot tag brings in Savage to pound away on DiBiase with right hands and a backdrop. A top rope ax handle puts DiBiase down again but Ted rams him into the top turnbuckle to change momentum again. DiBiase clotheslines Savage down and it’s off to Giant again. Andre sits on Savage in the corner which is a lot more devastating than it sounds. Back to DiBiase who gets two off a suplex. Ted goes up for a middle rope elbow, but Savage uses all of his flying elbow experience and rolls away.

Hulk comes in again off the real hot tag and cleans house on both Mega Bucks but Savage jumps into Andre’s boot. Hogan puts DiBiase in a sleeper but Andre makes the save with some headbutts. The Mega Powers are down, but Liz gets on the apron and in the most famous part of the match, takes off her skirt to reveal a bikini bottom and some nice legs. The distraction lets the Mega Powers do their big handshake and Hulk Up as one. A top rope ax handle to Andre, a flying elbow and legdrop to DiBiase later and things are pretty much done. Jesse only counts two, so Savage has to shove his hand down for the three.

Rating: B-. Much like the original Wrestlemania main event, there isn’t much to see here but it’s a fun match. It gave the fans exactly what they wanted and the Liz bit was a big surprise as she NEVER did anything sexual up to that point and rarely did after. Hogan and Savage were obviously going to win, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a fun moment and a decent main event.

Then in the main event of Survivor Series 1988.

Team Mega Powers vs. Team Twin Towers

Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, Koko B. Ware, Hillbilly Jim, Hercules

Big Bossman, Akeem, Ted DiBiase, Red Rooster, Haku

Savage is world champion and this is based on a tag team feud which would be blown off in a huge live match on February 3. Hogan comes out to his own theme music after his partners all used Savage’s. This is actually a plot point as the Mega Powers would explode because Savage thought Hogan was taking his spotlight. It’s a Wrestlemania rematch with Savage vs. DiBiase to start things off.

They knock each other down with DiBaise taking over in the corner. The champ comes back with right hands and a clothesline. Off to Hercules who is feuding with DiBiase as Ted had called Hercules a slave, prompting a face turn. Instead Herc gets the Red Rooster who doesn’t do well at all, which is the idea. Heenan said he could take anyone, even Rooster, to the top. Off to Koko who gets in a shot to Ware and it’s off to Akeem (One Man Gang).

Haku comes in with a chop but misses a legdrop and it’s back to Herc. I’m not sure why when you have Hogan and Savage on the apron but whatever. Now it’s off to Hogan and the place erupts. He takes Haku down and drops some elbows before bringing Hillbilly in for a quick main event opportunity. Akeem comes in and runs Jim over before bringing Rooster in. Even Gorilla found that stupid. Jim doesn’t do much to Rooster so here’s Koko instead.

Rooster rams Koko’s head into the buckle, but see, Koko is black so it doesn’t hurt. A missile dropkick gets two on Red and it’s off to Hogan. The big boot sets up Savage’s elbow and it’s 5-4. Hogan’s team has a massive in ring celebration while Bossman’s team hits the floor. Heenan rips into Rooster as we get Savage vs. Haku. Haku chokes on the ropes but Hogan makes a blind tag and, brace yourselves, actually loses a slugout!

Haku hits a nice dropkick but gets slammed down and it’s off to Herc. A suplex puts Hercules down and it’s off to Akeem. A splash misses and it’s off to Hillbilly who fires away with all he’s got. Jim’s big boot doesn’t take Akeem down and a clothesline floors Jim. The 747 (big splash) gets the pin and we’re tied up. Koko comes in and dropkicks Akeem in the back before wisely bringing in Hogan to do the heavy lifting.

Back to the world champ with a double ax to the head but they can’t knock Akeem down. Hercules pounds away a bit as does Koko with a dropkick only sending Akeem into the corner. Akeem shrugs it off and hits Koko once to take over. Off to Boss Man who hits his namesake slam to make it 4-3. It’s Hogan in now and this is the match everyone has been wanting to see.

Hogan pounds him into the corner and everyone left on Hogan’s team (Hogan, Savage, Hercules vs. Bossman, Akeem, DiBiase, Haku) gets in a shot. Hogan easily slams the then bigger Boss Man but he charges into a spinebuster. That looked really good too. Back to Akeem and the big men hit a double elbow to take Hulk down. Off to Haku who gets in some shots to the neck before tagging in Boss Man. I wonder why they’ve gone so long since having DiBiase in there.

Naturally as I say that he comes in and clotheslines Hogan down. A falling punch gets two but Hogan Hulks Up. Off to Hercules for some revenge and some hard clotheslines and punches. Virgil trips him up though and a school boy eliminates Hercules. It’s now 4-2 but Savage charges in and rolls up DiBiase to pin him within about ten seconds.

Haku comes in again but misses a headbutt, allowing Hogan to get the tag. Something like a superkick takes Hulk down and it’s back to Boss Man for some headbutts tot he back. Akeem comes in for his usual shots before it’s back to Haku again, who suplexes Hulk for two. It’s nerve hold time followed by the Boss Man Slam for no cover. Instead Boss Man goes up and misses a splash.

The hot tag brings in Savage who cleans house. Slick trips Randy up and things slow down again. Boss Man puts on a bearhug as Slick goes after Liz, grabbing her by the arm. Hulk makes the save and DRILLS Slick with a right hand. The Towers go to handcuff Hogan to the rope but Boss Man gets counted out in the process. Boss Man beats on Hogan with the nightstick and then goes to beat on Savage. Akeem helps with that, drawing a DQ for himself and getting us down to Hogan and Savage vs. Haku.

Hogan is still cuffed to the rope though so it’s basically a one on one match. Haku beats on Savage as the camera is on the Towers leaving. Slick has the keys and is taunting Hogan with them. Savage holds the rope and avoids a kick but there’s no Hogan to tag. Haku accidentally superkicks Slick and Liz raids his pocket to get the key. Hogan is freed and Haku hits a top rope splash for two. Hot tag to Hogan and since it’s 1988, you can fill in the ending for yourself.

Rating: C+. While not great, this was better than the previous match to be sure. This would be part of the Mega Powers Exploding, as Savage would be jealous of Hogan for getting the glory and not being there for him earlier in the match. It’s no classic or anything, but 80s Hogan is always fun.

This led to the big showdown at the second Main Event. The story here though is the post match promo, which I’ll throw in as a bonus.

Twin Towers vs. Mega Powers

This is an hour long show and the match is over twenty minutes long so if you didn’t get the idea, this is the only reason to watch this show. After the Towers get to the ring, we get a video about Hogan and Savage. This isn’t your typical video however. This is set to a WAY too upbeat song called You’re A Friend Of Mine by Clarence Clemens Jackson Browne. Look it up and picture a highlight package of Hogan and Savage. It looks like the intro to a REALLY bad sitcom. I can’t make this stuff up people.

Hogan and Savage say there is no issue with these three. The underlying theme here is that Hogan allegedly loves Liz but Hogan insists it’s just like a brother and sister. In short, this became about Hogan which Savage didn’t like which has to be at least half legitimate. Everyone talks a lot here and hey now let’s have a match.

Boss Man starts and Savage and Hogan both want to start for their team. Boss Man wants Hogan so Savage can’t get his way again. Hogan looks especially orange tonight. The heels are cleared out by Super Hogan alone and the fans are WAY into it. The little things in this match like Savage wearing Hogan’s colors with the words Mega Powers written on them but Hogan wearing his usual gear is very well done.

Akeem comes in and here’s Savage to meet him. Oh wait never mind Hogan needs to come back in. He even comes off the second rope to work on the arm a bit. Boss Man hits a Piledriver and Hogan does his fish out of water dance on the mat. I’m not sure if it looks more like that or a steak being grilled. One or the other. Jesse points out that Hogan is hogging the ring time and he’s absolutely right at this point.

Slick gets involved so Savage drills him in the face. Spinebuster which is unnamed at this point gets two. Savage finally comes in this has been ALL Mega Powers. Top rope cross body puts Akeem down but Slick gets a shot in to take down the Macho Man and momentum shifts. Savage is still world champion here if I didn’t mention that and you’re not familiar with this era.

And now we get to the meat of this show. Akeem throws Savage to the floor and he wipes Elizabeth out, landing right on top of her (lucky). She’s GONE and Hogan goes to try to help her which ticks Savage off for some reason. “Oh no the woman I love is getting helped after I was incapacitated! SCREW THAT!” Hogan carries Liz to the back in as dramatic a fashion as possible. He leaves with her as they check her out.

We get the other fun part of this as Hogan’s acting is at its peak here. Keep in mind we stay on Hogan and Liz for like 3 minutes with ZERO talk of what’s going on in the ring. Back from a break we get a bumper of the match and now back to General Wrestling Hospital. Hogan keeps saying thank God and making weird noises. I don’t have the video up as I’m typing here and the sounds are just disturbing. Leaving out the word God it’s God Elizabeth God Elizabeth and random moaning and groaning and breathing sounds.

FINALLY he realizes he’s left his partner for like ten minutes against two monsters so he comes back for the save and the glory. Oh but instead of like, I don’t know, GETTING IN THE RING and beating the tar out of one of the guys and helping Savage, he gets on the apron and grabs the tag rope. Savage continues to do all of the work and beats up Boss Man but won’t tag Hogan.

Savage slaps Hogan nice and hard and leaves him. Serves the bald pest right too. Macho stands on the floor and then leaves with his belt. For once Hogan has absolutely no one to blame but himself here. More on that later though. Air Africa (Akeem’s splash) hits Hogan, he Hulks Up, Boss Man apparently asks Slick if he knows where he can find a good turkey on rye as he pays NO attention to what’s going on and Hogan gets the pin.

Rating: C. Total angle here with a match as the backdrop but this was a big deal to put it mildly. This would be like Orton turning on Cena when they had been best friends for like a year. The match is just ok but that’s all it needed to be. Hogan’s hammy acting aside, this was perfectly fine for what it was.

Hogan goes to the back where Savage is losing his mind, talking about how the champion is supposed to be #1 to Liz who is laying on the table with apparently NO ONE checking on her at all. We now get the greatest promo of Savage’s career as he just goes off on Hogan, ranting and raving about how Hogan has stolen the spotlight from him since day one and how if Hogan wanted a title shot all Hogan had to do was ask and he would have beaten him 1-2-3.

He talks about how Hogan is jealous and lusting after Liz before DRILLING with the belt and beating the living heck out of Hogan in probably the biggest heel turn in company history at the time. I’d put it ahead of Andre as it was on a bigger stage and Savage’s promo was better.

Beefcake comes in for the save and Savage just ends him with like two shots, showing how worthless he was at the time. Savage leaves Hogan laying. Totally AWESOME segment and one of the best promos that I can ever remember anywhere with Savage letting out a year of frustration and paranoia all on Hogan with everything he said making perfect sense for once. Great segment and well worth checking out.

The team would split up for about six years after this, not reuniting until Clash of the Champions XXX in 1995. This match has one of the most amazing ideas you’ll ever see in wrestling.

Kevin Sullivan/Butcher vs. Hulk Hogan/Randy Savage

Vader gets in Hogan’s face during the entrances and Flair is back in his seat. Hogan throws Butcher into the corner to start and a running clothesline puts him on the mat. Savage comes in off the top with an ax handle to Butcher’s head before bringing Sullivan in for a beating as well. Back to Hogan as we look over Vader’s shoulder. Hulk runs over Butcher but gets caught in the sleeper. Savage tries to make the save twice in a row but Hogan is out cold.

Butcher lets go so Savage tries to wake Hogan up to no avail. With nothing else to do, Savage goes to the top and drops his signature elbow drop, causing Hogan to Hulk Up as he does every time he gets hit with a finishing move. It makes sense in that twisted wrestling logic. I mean….how freaking brilliant is that when you really think about it? Hogan fights back as everything breaks down with Savage being thrown over the top rope and out to the floor. Sullivan sends Randy into the post and then the barricade as the villains take over.

Savage takes a beating from both guys and is thrown to the floor again. He gets up quickly but can barely stay on his feet. Back in and Savage is tied up in the Tree of Woe (hanging upside down in the corner), drawing in Hogan for a failed save attempt. Butcher puts Savage in the sleeper but Randy breaks out with a jawbreaker. Hogan gets the hot tag and cleans house before Savage drops the elbow on Butcher. The legdrop is enough to get the pin.

Rating: D+. There wasn’t much to this one. The match felt like any other Hogan vs. monsters match but the monsters were Kevin Sullivan and the Butcher. At the end of the day, Hogan vs. someone smaller than him very rarely works and these two just weren’t going to cut it. The Reviving Elbow was a stroke of brilliance though.

Here’s a major showdown at Slamboree 1995.

Hulk Hogan/Randy Savage vs. Ric Flair/Vader

Hmm, Flair and Hogan in a big match. I wonder what’s going to happen in the end. I have no idea why I’m bothering to watch this as the ending is as obvious as physically possible. Bischoff makes sure to point out that the fans came to see Hogan. He ignores the other probably 15 world titles in the ring, not to mention everyone else on the card. Renegade of course gets his own entrance, being the least talented of the 6.

Anderson has to pretend to be afraid of him and this is just stupid. Vader and Hogan start us off here. Vader would be gone in a few months to WWF to be replaced by the returning Luger. The faces are completely dominating here. Flair cheats to take over as you can see why this match means nothing at all: the match means nothing at all. It’s a tag match that proves nothing either way. Hogan will still be champion no matter what so why would I want to see this match? That makes no sense at all.

Oh look Hogan is beating up Flair. That’s a relief. For a minute there I thought WCW might be doing something new. I couldn’t handle that! The heels finally take over for a bit here. Oh and there was an appearance of a guy that we couldn’t see clearly. He would become known as the Giant, or later on as he’s known now, the Big Show.

They very kind of imply that he looks like Andre, which would be where they went with it. Vader screws up and shoves the referee across the ring. Naturally since that’s not the finish though he lets it go. The Vader Bomb hits but we have no cover. One from the top misses though and both he and Hogan are down. Yep still not interesting. Oh and Hogan might have died had that top rope Bomb hit. Did Savage vs. Vader ever happen?

That could have been decent. Flair gets slammed off the top for the second time in the match. That can’t be fun. Arn interferes to let the heels take over again. Renegade is fierce apparently. The moonsault hits on Savage and as Hogan makes the save he kicks out anyway. Just a reminder: Angelo Poffo is IN THE HALL OF FAME.

Hogan gets the hot tag and of course, beats the tar out of Flair. After a melee and some botched interference from Anderson, say it with me, HOGAN PINS FLAIR!!! The heels beat up Savage afterwards and then they beat up Angelo Poffo to the shock of no one as no one cares. Savage vs. Flair was the main event of the Great American Bash.

Rating: C+. Not bad I guess. It’s your standard main event tag match with nothing on the line which I never like at all. It was your run of the mill stuff with the heels beating down the faces for a good while until the heels mess up. Nothing too hardcore but nothing bad either.

Time for WarGames at Fall Brawl 1995.

WarGames: Hulkamaniacs vs. Dungeon of Doom

Dungeon: Meng, Kamala, Shark, Zodiac
Hulkamaniacs: Hulk Hogan, Lex Luger, Sting, Randy Savage

Gee, thing it’s one sided enough??? Luger replaced Vader who jumped to WWF a week earlier. They say a stipulation has been added where if Team Hogan wins, he gets 5 minutes with the Taskmaster in the cage tonight. They announced that earlier but maybe the crowd didn’t know yet. Now remember, we have Hogan, Luger, Sting and Savage, a WCW All-Star team vs. Kamala, Haku, Brutus Beefcake and Earthquake. Yeah this is a main event apparently.

Ok to be fair, this is the major feud in the company in their signature match so that makes sense. I have no issue there. I just don’t think this is the best they could do. Why not Flair and Anderson with two other guys? It would at least be more interesting. Sting and Shark start us off. More or less Sting massacres him as you would expect. Shark finally gets some offense in after Sting goes for a slam like the idiot he tended to be.

Sting is one of my favorites ever, but he did some DUMB stuff at times. In a funny spot, Shark goes to the end of one ring and after a running start, JUMPS OVER THE ROPE. However he doesn’t make it all the way as he gets stuck on the two sets of ropes over the gap in the rings. What a visual.

With 30 seconds to go before another guy comes in, Sting goes for the leg. With three seconds to go the Scorpion is on. The heels win the toss (naturally) and Zodiac comes in. In a cool spot, Sting grabs the top of the cage and pulls himself up and kicks Zodiac in the head. Sting does what he can but there is too much fat in there.

Savage comes in to tie it up. Like a crazy man he tries to suplex Shark. Are we really supposed to believe Sting and Savage can’t handle these two? The cage isn’t that great so Savage’s leg is hanging out of the cage and the heels are beating on it. His partners ignore him of course so there we are. Kamala comes in as it’s 3-2. Has Kamala ever won a big match? I don’t think so.

Luger makes it 3-3. There just isn’t much to say about this match as the periods are too short to really get anything going. Also the face team is so ridiculously stacked that there’s no drama whatsoever. Luger accidently hits Savage to attempt to give us some drama as Meng comes in to make it 4-3. Ok now why would Meng hit Luger there? Savage is using energy and hurting Luger so why stop him? The heels dominate for the rest of the period and here he is.

Hogan is the final guy in of course and he has powder. Not only does he have a far better roster of guys but he comes in and cheats. That’s Hogan for you I guess. Naturally he beats up the four guys more or less on his own when Sting, Luger and Savage combined couldn’t do it. That makes perfect sense right?

Heenan says this is like Bosnia. Even Tony stops him on that one. It’s just total domination here as you would expect. This is totally boring at this point as there is no way the heels are winning it. And Hogan gets a TERRIBLE camel clutch on Zodiac for the submission to win.

Rating: D. And that’s with an elevated rating due to it being WarGames. This was just AWFUL as it was so painfully boring. There was never any drama at all. I mean look at the rosters. Would you believe for a second that Hogan’s team was ever going to lose? Of course not and no one bought the heels as having a chance. It could have been worse I guess. Ok no it couldn’t be. One of the weakest WarGames ever.

Here’s a big showdown that could have made a fortune in the 80s, but we get it on Nitro, January 8, 1996.

Ric Flair/Arn Anderson vs. Randy Savage/Hulk Hogan

Lot of time left for this one too. Savage is wearing yellow and red and there are now pictures of Hogan on the floor in the aisle. Oh and this company doesn’t have has beens. They have the best in the world today. In WWF at this point it was Shawn Michaels rising to the top of the company. These jokes write themselves. Savage vs. Flair starts us off officially after a quick tag from Arn.

Flair is champion here and these two would eventually fight for the title at the PPV. Ok never mind as it’s Hogan vs. Flair starting out. Well why have Savage have a competitive match when we can have Flair get beaten up by Hogan? We get to a technical mat based style to start and of course Hogan wins that. A chop does nothing at all but a thumb to the eye of baldie takes him down.

The big boot takes Flair down again and here’s Arn so Hogan can beat up both of them on his own for awhile. Arn comes in as does Savage who of course has a bit more difficulty since he’s not Hogan after all. Double axe off the top gets two for Savage. After running away from Hogan for a bit Flair comes in and gets caught in a Figure Four by Savage. Hogan gets one on Anderson also as the Horsemen look like idiots already.

The Horsemen break up the holds with eye rakes as we take a break. Back with Savage in trouble in an abdominal stretch at the hands of Anderson. Savage gets his foot on the rope but Hogan makes sure to come in anyway to ensure that he gets credit for the save. Savage gets a quick sleeper but Anderson gets out with relative ease. The REAL Figure Four is blocked into a small package for two and then another one for two also.

Eric: Hogan is the freshest man in that ring right now and he wants in that ring. He’s on the apron when Eric says that of course. Flair knees Savage into Hogan and of course he beats up both guys on his own again. McMichael says the plan apparently was for Savage to take care of the Horsemen and then Hogan comes in and cleans house. I’ll let you figure out why that’s nauseating.

Anderson hits the spinebuster and Hogan of course pops up. This is getting sickening. The crowd isn’t popping for this stuff either. Hogan gets the boot and the legdrop for the pin but the Dungeon and the Horsemen run out for a big brawl as Giant beats up Hogan in the ring. Chokeslam for Savage too ends the show.

Rating: D+. Meh, it’s a main event tag match and Hogan gets to be praised and worshipped some more. What else is new really? This naturally was a way for Hogan to look dominant over everyone else and have them all be glorified cannon fodder before we set up the next match against Giant which SUCKED. Not horrible but it’s the same stuff we’ve seen for months now.

Here’s the setup for SuperBrawl VI at Clash of the Champions XXXII.

Randy Savage/Hulk Hogan vs. Ric Flair/The Giant

Savage has a bad arm coming in, which is an injury he had for months. Giant is called a legend despite having his first match about three months ago. Savage and Hogan have a line of women with them, including Woman and Elizabeth. Kevin Greene comes in before there’s any contact and gets down in a three point stance, sending Flair out side. Savage winds up starting with Flair and sends Ric outside where he eats a boot from Hogan.

Back inside and a slap sends Flair into the corner but he comes out with a thumb to the eye to take over. A big right hand sends Randy down but he grabs a backslide for two. The tag brings in Giant and he wants Hogan. Hulk gets a tag as well and Giant shoves him into the corner with ease. Giant easily shoulder blocks Hogan down and blocks a slam with a big forearm over the back. Hogan gets slammed though as the announcers talk about Andre the Giant vs. Hogan in 1987 without mentioning Wrestlemania.

A headbutt to the lower abdomen has Hulk in even more trouble and a backbreaker makes it even worse. Hulk avoids an elbow drop and actually gets the body slam. It hurts him more than Giant though and the bigger man is able to make the tag off to Flair. Ric scores with a suplex but Hogan pops up and takes Flair down with some clotheslines. Jimmy Hart distracts the referee and Giant takes Hulk to the floor for a bearhug. They head inside again and Hogan no sells the chops but runs into an elbow in the corner.

Flair goes up top and of course gets slammed off top, allowing for the tag to Savage. The fans don’t react in the slightest which can’t be a good sign. A top rope ax handle drops Flair and Savage hits the big elbow but Hart offers another distraction. He also throws Flair a foreign object, allowing Ric to knock Savage senseless for the pin.

Rating: C. The match was nothing special but it sets up another Flair vs. Savage match, presumably at SuperBrawl IV. Hogan vs. Giant was your usual stuff for Hulk fighting a monster but it was nice to see him get in trouble and not be able to just beat up Giant with ease. A double main event would seem likely for the pay per view.

Time for a six man tag with the Mega Powers lackey Brutus Beefcake as Booty Man. From Nitro, February 26, 1996.

Ric Flair/Kevin Sullivan/Arn Anderson vs. Booty Man/Hulk Hogan/Randy Savage

This is going to get a lot of time here. Big brawl right from the bell and the faces clear the ring of course. Arn wants time and doesn’t get it. He has to settle for a guy named Booty Man smacking him in the face. That’s your official starting pair and as they stare each other down, here comes Kimberly, the Diamond Doll, to stare at Booty Man. Who came up with that idea for a gimmick? I mean…..did Billy Gunn rip that off?

High Knee (get it?) sends Anderson to the corner as we’re spending a lot of time standing around. Booty Man beats up everyone as I think Anderson is still legal. Apparently not as it’s off to Flair. They can’t seem to go more than 10 seconds without pausing for something or other. Test of strength is won by Beefcake (that’s who it is if I didn’t mention that) as he’s been in there the entire time.

Off to Savage because Savage vs. Flair hasn’t been done in a whole week at this point. Savage clears the ring as apparently there’s no Nitro the next week. Good to know. Hogan comes in to beat on Flair because that’s what he does. This has bee a total wreck so far. A double big boot by Hogan and Billy Gunn’s inspiration gets two on Flair. The heels haven’t been in control yet.

Woman finally does something and grabs Savage’s leg to let Sullivan take over. Savage gets beaten on for a good while both in and out of the ring. He gets a shot in to take Kevin down and it’s back off to Booty Man. Not like Hogan should have to do anything you know. Booty Man sends everyone into Hogan’s boot and the leg drop ends Anderson.

Rating: D. Just a big mess here with the heels looking like idiots for the sake of another of Hogan’s buddies. Flair was world champion here but you’d never know it based on what he had to do every week for the sake of Hogan and company. Very weak main event all around and guess what the main event of the next show is?

From two weeks later on Nitro, March 11, 1996.

Hulk Hogan/Randy Savage/Booty Man vs. Kevin Sullivan/Arn Anderson/Ric Flair

Everyone will have straps that they can use here. There are also lumberjacks around the ring. Giant immediately grabs Hogan and the fight is on. Giant and Loch Ness mess up and hit each other so they get into a brawl of their own. That would be an ugly match at Uncensored. Every one is in the Foley flannel here. Booty Man and Sullivan are the only ones using the straps.

Kimberly comes down to stare at Beefcake/Booty Man. Egads. There don’t seem to be tags required in this. Flair tries to leave but Animal carries him back to the ring. This is more or less a riot instead of an actual match. There is absolutely nothing to say here as everything is all over the place. Hogan beats up some lumberjacks including DDP. Like I said, total mess here with nothing resembling a coherent match.

Flair and Hogan are FINALLY strapped together as Hogan still has a bad eye. No other pair is strapped together. Oh wait they’re not. They all have straps of their own. Shouldn’t that be something clear from the beginning? Big boot and leg drop to Flair out of nowhere end this. One of the biggest messes I’ve ever seen.

Rating: D-. This wasn’t even a match but rather just a mess. Was there a point to this at all? The lumberjacks barely paid attention to the match at all and just brawled the entire time. There was no way to tell what was going on and that’s not a good thing. Just an overbooked mess with no way of telling what happened at all. Not liking it at all.

One more brawl on Nitro, March 18, 1996.

Ric Flair/Kevin Sullivan vs. Randy Savage/Hulk Hogan

Naturally nothing Flair does works on Hogan because why in the world would we want the world champion to look impressive? Hogan puts a Macho Man foam hat on Flair’s head and beats on him even more. Eric points out that Hogan has already beaten everyone. That was basically the idea behind this match: we had no one left to face him so let’s just have him fight everyone at once. How well do you think this went over?

This has been mostly Hogan vs. Flair and remember they don’t have to tag here as it’s Texas (despite being in Tennessee) Tornado rules. We go split screen with both screens maybe filling in a quarter of the screen. You know, because we need a split screen for Savage alone pulling himself up. Eric keeps babbling about Dennis Rodman possibly being at Uncensored which of course he wasn’t at.

They switch off Flair takes Savage down. That can’t happen though so Hogan hammers away on him instead. Finally the heels take over for a bit and it’s a Figure Four on Savage. Instead of SAVING HIS PARTNER Hogan puts one on Taskmaster. Savage reverses his and Flair lets it go. Flair shoves the referee so the referee shoves Flair.

Here comes the Mega Powers as it’s 10PM so we’re going to stay with it, since the C in WCW stands for Commitment! Hogan and Flair slug it out and guess who wins there. Split screen time again as the heels are in control. Luckily this one doesn’t last as long as Sullivan chokes away at Hogan. More slugging out as the Mega Powers get going again.

Woman pops Hogan in the bad eye again but Hogan launches Flair off again as is his custom. He Hulks Up and here comes Anderson. Anderson saves Flair from the leg drop and Brian Pillman comes out with a chair and it’s a double DQ. In a Texas Tornado match, there was a double DQ. And people have the nerve to wonder why this company was looked down upon as being idiotic?

Rating: D. I’m getting REALLY tired of these brawls. They were fun at first but when you know what’s coming and that there’s no chance that Hogan and Savage will flat out lose they lose their luster really fast. Not a fan of these things and thankfully they’ll calm way down after this week’s show.

This led to my favorite review of all time, in the main event of Uncensored 1996. I’ll include the package to set it up as a bonus.

We recap the feud with Hogan and Savage against the Alliance. More or less what happened was simple: the Alliance challenged Hogan to a 4-1 cage match, but WCW wised up and realized Hogan carrying a match like that could expose him too much, so they threw Savage in there too.

Now, how did the Alliance put out this challenge? Was it by beating down Hogan? Was it by destroying something he held dear and valuable? Was it by making threats to his family and home? Nope to all three. They sent him a telegram. Let me repeat that. The feud and match were set by a group sending Hogan a telegram. That’s so freaking stupid I can’t even make fun of it. I truly can’t.

They sent him a telegram. I can’t get over that. Something else I notice: there hasn’t been a single mention of Randy Savage all show. It’s been nothing but Hogan. The team is known as the Alliance to End Hulkamania. In the build up from the announcers there’s no mention of Savage. What in the world is wrong with these people? Why am I trying to figure that out?

Hulk Hogan/Randy Savage vs. Alliance to End Hulkamania

The Alliance is Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, Meng, Barbarian, Lex Luger, Taskmaster (Kevin Sullivan), Z-Gangsta (Zeus from the late 80s) and Ultimate Solution (big fat strong guy that never did anything other of note in wrestling. He did play Bane in Batman and Robin though in case anyone is interested.) Now you might be wondering how this is going to work.

Well until about 3 minutes before the bell rings, so was everyone else. Literally, they didn’t know what they were going to do until the day of the show. That’s your brilliant wrestling company at work. The idea would be this. You have a ring with three cages on top of it. In other words, there’s a ring with a cage over it that’s very tall and has a top of in. The top of that cage is the floor of a second cage. That cage has six sides, all made of cage.

There’s ANOTHER of those on top. The match starts up at the top for no apparent reason. The idea is that it’s more or less a gauntlet match. There’s two guys on top, four in the middle cage and two in the bottom cage and Hogan and Savage have to win in all three cages. Yep, that’s it.

In a match that’s supposed to be all about violence and called a Doomsday match, we have a freaking gauntlet with regular pins and submissions. Let’s get to this. Michael Buffer is in the ring doing introductions for this as I have a feeling that this is going to take a LONG time.

He asks if they’re ready. He asks it again. I wonder if they’re going to break it down after the match. The cage I mean. Oh Brian Pillman is supposed to be in this but he’s left for ECW at this time where he would be for all of a day or so and then on to WWF. Flair comes out sans belt or any acknowledgment that he’s champion so you can see where the priorities are.

Oh we also have to wait for them to all climb up the steps to get to their cages too. Barbarian has been banned from wrestling in most countries in the world too. You learn something new every day. Zeus (I refuse to refer to him as Z-Gangsta more than I have to) and Ultimate Solution aren’t here yet. His original name was Final Solution. I’ll give you two guesses as to how that went.

So we’re starting with Anderson and Flair at the top so we’re starting with the Mega Powers vs. Anderson and Flair. Tell me, what’s wrong with that as a main event? I’d like that FAR better. Luger left WWF for this. That’s just sad. They finally just give up and call Hogan a superhero. Naturally the camera follows him up the stairs as my fear of heights is kicking in.

Dusty says the fans have been waiting for days in and around this building. Just go with it. Once they finally reach the top we start immediately and also immediately we see the massive problem: the fans can’t see a stupid thing. They’re about thirty feet from the ground (which of course hits as high as 65 so far according to Brain) and the lighting is awful.

Also, this is before the days of the Titantron. If they had that, this would be ok. No actually it wouldn’t be but it would have been better. The people watching the PPV from home have a hard time seeing this so imagine what it’s like for the fans there. They’re dead quiet too after the opening maybe 10 seconds because reality has set in. Oh Arn is wearing a full black body suit for no apparent reason.

Heenan says what I think might have been hidden jabs at WCW by saying “What a great thing for television!” and “Only here in WCW!” Those are either fed to him or shots at the brilliant minds who came up with this. Actually no. They’re not worthy of sarcastic praise. They’re freaking idiots. I mean seriously, WHAT ARE THEY THINKING???

If you’re going to do a cage match, fine. If you’re going to do a big cage match, fine. If you’re going to do a gauntlet cage match, that’s fine too. Actually that’s kind of an interesting concept. However, DO IT WHERE THE PEOPLE CAN SEE IT. My goodness how hard of a concept is that? What’s the most important aspect of any show? How about being able to see it?

The fans here might be able to make out someone next to one side of the cage but other than that, nothing. And don’t even bother staying if you sit across the arena and don’t have binoculars because you’re screwed. Sting and Booker won the main event already. I can’t get over how ridiculous this is. Seriously who thought this was a good idea?

Oh and there’s a referee up there too even though it’s Uncensored and therefore unsanctioned. There’s also a massive pole in the middle in case Hogan wants to shoot a Brooke Hogan video up there. They go to a wide shot to just further show how stupid this is. We can hear the wrestlers talking which is usually covered up by the crowd.

Maybe they can see as there’s a pop for Hogan ripping the shirt off. Heenan says this is better than the World Series or the Super Bowl. Yes it does Bobby, yes it does. Hey we’ve hit 70 feet in the air! Heenan redeems himself a bit with the line of all a manager can do here is hope they have a client in the morning. We get a random reference to some woman named Becky in Denver. Ok then.

Tony sums up the match perfectly: the fans wanted to know what the Doomsday Cage was so they’re finding out here. Well thanks for that Tony. In other words, we’re going to throw out a cool sounding name and say Hogan is in it against a bunch of guys that we’re only going to vaguely mention and say to find out, pay up. Once you hook them, you don’t have to do anything.

They did the same thing with the Elimination Chamber in 2002, but the difference was that match wasn’t bad. It certainly wasn’t great but I’ve seen far worse matches. Exhibit A is being reviewed at the moment. In the ultra violent match, we get double figure fours.

Heenan’s comedy is all that’s holding the pieces of this in place. Notice I didn’t say together but just in place as they would likely want to run away and join a witness protection program or something. Zeus and Solution didn’t wrestle again after this. They were the smart ones I guess.

Dusty says if you have a chain length fence (who doesn’t?) just go lay on it to see what this is like. Bobby: Then call your neighbor over and slap the figure four on him! Then put the figure eight on your Doberman! Bobby Heenan, I love you very much.  You need massive amounts of therapy and medication, but I love you.

Flair drops something from one cage to the other which is never explained or mentioned again. My guess would be the will of Flair’s career since it’s dead at this point. Hogan and Savage throw powder, which is likely the remains of the cocaine they needed to agree to this.

They go through a trapdoor to get to the next cage, and Anderson and Flair are eliminated. WOW. Ok so wait. All they had to do was get through a door? They didn’t have to pin someone or get a tap out but just go through a door? Ladies and gentlemen, I’m done. I’m going to stop trying to make sense of this match and that’s all there is to it.

This just doesn’t make sense at all but for some reason they insist that it does. Bobby says Boris Karloff would love this. Not really but ok. Hogan has a chain and beats on Sullivan with it. They’re down about 12 feet now so the crowd is a bit more into it. It’s the Faces of Fear (Meng and Barbarian) on Savage and Luger and Sullivan on Hogan.

This room has a door in the middle of it so it’s like two small cages. Actually there’s a reason for it though which will come up in a minute. After being beaten on by two grown men and a steel chain, Hogan is fine and manages to get the chain away to lock the door (which didn’t have a lock before but whatever) and trap Meng and Barbarian inside.

A shot of the cage from the floor makes this look a lot better as in essence they’re fighting on top of a regular cage. That’s not bad I guess. Anderson and Flair drop to the second cage and are trapped as well. Where’s my wah wah music when I need it? Heenan says it’s a maze with no way in or out.

Yep other than the doors they came in through, the doors they leave through or the path that the referee points them through to get to the end. Speaking of doors they go out of one and fight on the stairs which is kind of scary when you think about it as there’s no wall to save them there.

Sullivan is actually over halfway out as Heenan says that he’ll be spam if he hits. I’ll infract him if he does. I don’t want any freaking spam in my reviews. Savage and Luger are still in the cage by the way. According to Brain everyone is on their feet. They have to be to see this I suppose. They’re more or less quiet by the way.

Luger gets loose and we’re out on the floor. Yep, they got out of the cage and while the rules stated earlier in the match said that Hogan and Savage just needed to get down to win, they apparently are going to keep going. Hey, we’re having a Doomsday Cage Match, so let’s fight in the ring!

Yep, they’re fighting in the ring. Luger and Savage are fighting by the cage with Hogan and Sullivan in the ring. The four guys in the upper cage break out and head down the cage. Now this could be cool: Hogan and Savage 6-2 in the arena. Well ok I can go with that as at least its easier to see.

It’s more or less the same thing as the previous match but…that’s….why are the other four just leaving? They just walked back to the dressing room. Anderson and Flair are supposed to, but the Faces of Fear are still in this legally, but who cares about that? That would MAKE SENSE!

Hogan is beating on Luger in the ring while Savage is having boards thrown at him.

Apparently the Faces of Fear have been eliminated. Oh ok I think I’ve got it now: the rules are as follows. Hogan and Savage had to go to the top of the cage where they had to either pin or get a submission from Flair and Anderson but they were allowed to have an alternate way of winning because Hogan made a large donation to the Save the Wombat Foundation.

Next up they had to get pins or submissions on some combination of the Faces of Fear, Sullivan or Luger, but they were able to lock the Faces of Fear into a cage and therefore receive a Federal credit for preventing an international assault and battery charge since both men are international ambassadors sent by the King of Tonga to study wrestling (that’s actually not made up if you can believe that. That’s legit true).

Now at the beginning the rules stated that they simply had to get to the floor to win, however there was a clause stating that if there was a high percentage (17 or greater) of time spent on discussing the social habits of Bulgarian monks in the 15th century by the four in the second cage during the battle in the first cage, then simply getting to the floor wouldn’t be classified as a win.

In that case a pin in the other ring would work. However, that won’t work either because Lex Luger’s lawyers feel that the population of fire ants in this match were misrepresented so therefore a simple pin in the ring won’t work either, and the final two members of the Alliance to End Hulkamania, which has founded new chapters in Laos, Manhattan and the North Pole, fighting off the evils of Hulk-Chi-Min, Hulk Maritoni and Hulk-a-Claus, must be equally represented in this match, which must end via pinfall in the original ring.

HOWEVER, it will be allowed for former members of the Alliance to reenter the match under the Columbus Act which also founded Ohio in 1776, but also said that wrestlers were unlawfully evicted from the match via an international treaty can be allowed to return. ANYWAY, now that we’re back to the match, let’s continue here but I need to make sure this remains logical. It’s very important to keep that going here.

They’re all at the ring now and we have more bad chair shots. I love how the graphic under the split screen says Doomsday Cage Match despite a significant lack of cage. Here’s Ultimate Solution and Zeus. According to the clause listed above, we head back to the original cage for the showdown. Yep, it’s Hogan and Savage in a no tag tag-team match against two big strong guys. How do they come up with these things?

Sullivan is lurking around as I feel he needs to register. I’m sure there’s something in this match for him too. There must be a tournament somewhere. As if this wasn’t riveting enough, we hit a bear hug. Hey now, it’s time for the rematch of the match that didn’t happen seven years ago in another company that we’re not going to mention but imply that everyone knows anyway because that’s how we roll.

Ultimate Solution (hereafter known as porkchop for no other reason than I have the Doug song in my head) picks up Savage and has him in position for a slam, prompting Dusty to wonder what he’s going to do with him. Heenan says that he picked Savage up like a 100lb infant. Tony says there’s no winning or losing but only surviving. Yeah I’d agree.

Whose career can survive this match? Here’s Arn and Flair again as apparently their plan to eliminate Hulkamania is just to stomp them and punch them and slam them a lot. Yep, that’s the epic plan.

Tony is holding out hope despite a few seconds before saying it’s hopeless. I love that top level journalism there Tony! Keep it up and one day you might be able to get a better job like selling meat from a truck in Minneapolis! They actually argue over how many people are in there against Hogan and Savage. To get off of that we point out that this started with a telegram. Somehow that’s an improvement.

Naturally they ask if Hulkamania can survive instead of Hogan and Savage. It amazes me that he got so little respect over the years. He was nuts, but dang could he wrestle. In one of the best unintentionally funny moments I can ever remember, the powder that Hogan and Savage have spills out and within 5 seconds Brutus is there to help them. That’s just greatness.

Also they’re almost face down in it. Could this get any funnier? Now the interesting part is what Brutus does for them. He brings them weapons to even the odds, instead of actually sticking around to help fight like a friend would. Nope he brought them something to help them fight off the forces of evil.

What does he bring? Does he bring brass knuckles? Maybe a club? Perhaps a couple of chairs? Nope. He brings frying pans. Brutus Beefcake brings a pair of frying pans to help save his friends. Where in the world do I start? Let’s see: how about WHY DID HE HAVE FRYING PANS??? Was he making bacon in the back or something? Does he tend to carry cookware around with him? Did the barber shop fall through? I guess he couldn’t repair the window after Shawn broke it so he became a chef.

Somehow, that is the most logical thing I’ve said all night. There’s five minutes left so let’s get through this if we can. Luger comes back in with a glove that they imply is loaded. He sets to hit Savage but Macho ducks (that sounds like an upgrade to Duck Hunter) and Luger stops, but then starts again to hit Flair and turn face I guess. Hogan and Savage turn to leave but Savage runs back in and pins Flair while everyone else kind of stands around and lets it happen. WOW. So did they forget the whole pin thing too I suppose? Heenan is ticked off and leaves and we’re finally done.

Rating: -F. This is below an F. We’ve gone so low that we’ve went past Z (which stands for Zeus not Z-Gangsta blast it) and we’ve reached negative letters. That’s how insane this was. I mean it made no sense, the rules I laid out might as well have been the real ones because nothing stayed the same as it was in the beginning, you couldn’t see a stupid thing if you were in the audience, the match was exactly the same thing that it had always been with Hogan surviving, and the plan was just to beat them up a lot? Take note fans: never, I mean never, send a telegram in your life. You can see what it can lead to.

What a difference a year makes. Here’s another very unique match which actually worked at Uncensored 1997.

Team WCW vs. Team NWO vs. Team Piper

WCW: Giant, Lex Luger, Scott Steiner
NWO: Hall, Nash, Hogan, Savage
Piper: Piper, McMichael, Jarrett, Benoit

This is kind of like a cross between WarGames and a battle royal. You have three guys start and go five minutes. Then after two minutes we get another man from each team (Team WCW will miss an entry due to Rick going on and they weren’t smart enough to have Page fill in). It’s elimination style, which means we don’t have to deal with 11 guys in the ring at once. You can put someone out via pin, submission, knockout and over the top.

If Team WCW wins, the NWO is stripped of all titles and can’t wrestle for 3 years. If Team Piper wins, Piper gets Hogan in a cage at a time to be announced. If Team NWO wins, they more or less have carte blanche (Previously they would have gotten a title shot anywhere anytime, kind of like Money in the Bank). They change that back to the MITB thing but it would ultimately be the free reign thing.

Benoit, Hall and Giant start us off. They’re not at ringside which is kind of stupid as you would be able to jump them as they come out in theory no? Benoit jumps Hall before Giant gets there. Not that we can see that as we need to see Giant’s very slow walk to the ring instead. Giant gets in very slowly which is rather smart before taking them both down with a clothesline.

Benoit tries to chop away and it doesn’t work at all. It’s almost hard to believe that Benoit would be world champion before Hall. Basically this is Giant and two other guys in there as he keeps dominating the entire time. Elbow drop on Hall so Benoit tries to jump Giant. No real attempts to throw anyone out but since you can win by pinfall that’s ok.

Sleeper doesn’t work for Hall and Giant gets a huge chokeslam to Benoit for only two. Hall saves, I guess out of fear of fighting Giant one on one. Giant busts out the claw of all things but a corner splash misses and Giant is gone first! That leaves two guys for Team WCW. The clock runs out on the first period and it’s Jarrett, Randy Savage and Luger. That puts five guys in the ring at the moment if you’re keeping score.

It’s more or less a battle royal at this point as Luger can’t gorilla press Savage out. Jeff avoids a Razor’s Edge and here come Mongo, Nash and Scott Steiner. No real effort to put anyone out right now as everyone is really just beating on each other. Belly to belly puts Nash down as we only have Hogan and Piper left. Nash gets a big boot and clothesline to Jarrett and he’s out. Jeff that is. Mongo gets backdropped out so Team Piper has just Benoit and Piper left.

Here are Hogan and Piper so everyone is out there now. Nash gets a big boot to Steiner to knock him out so Luger is all that’s left for WCW, Piper and Benoit for Piper and all of the NWO is left. Wait where’s Hogan? What a shock he’s going to come out last isn’t he? Oh there he is with Dennis Rodman. Piper is on the floor but not out. Scratch that as he’s back now. Seven people in at the moment.

Hogan, Piper and Savage are on the floor with Hogan kind of chilling and Piper choking Savage. The Outsiders beat up Benoit and everyone is finally in there at the same time. Hogan throws Piper through the ropes and they brawl on the floor a bit. After Savage jumps them in the aisle everyone goes back to the ring. In a HORRIBLY stupid looking moment, Piper is sent into the ropes but Rodman pulls it down to put him out. This would have looked passable if Piper didn’t JUMP OVER THE ROPE BEFORE IT WAS PULLED DOWN. And people wonder why they went out of business.

They keep brawling on the floor anyway and Savage helps as it’s the Outsider Edge for Benoit. The tag champs toss him out and Team Piper is gone. Luger is the only one left for WCW and he’s against technically five guys counting Rodman. The NWO literally stands around for a minute and a half posing before Nash sets him up for a powerbomb.

Luger escapes and racks Savage, clotheslines Nash and racks Hall to eliminate all three in under thirty seconds. And never mind as when he goes to rack Hogan, Savage gets the spraypaint from Rodman and pops Luger in the face with it so Hogan can get the winning pin. The NWO won a big match. I’m shocked too.

Rating: B-. The match was actually pretty good as it didn’t really get stupid and for a big multi-man tag, this actually worked. I fail to see why Rick wasn’t out there but still, pretty good stuff. The ending was obvious but it doesn’t ever drag, the stuff they did made perfect sense the entire time and it was kind of interesting. Shockingly good main event.

We’ll settle down a bit with Nitro on February 16, 1998 in a match that could have headlined Starrcade.

Hollywood Hogan/Randy Savage vs. Sting/Lex Luger

Savage jumps Sting and Luger in the aisle to start the fight and Hogan sends Sting into the barricade. Hollywood hammers on Sting inside but Sting comes back with right hands to send Hogan out to the floor. Savage and Luger head into the ring now with Savage choking on the ropes.

They’re the official starters but when Savage goes to tag Hogan he’s out on the floor with Bischoff. Hollywood gets on the apron so Randy tags him with a forearm to the back. Three elbow drops get a near fall on Luger but Hogan’s legdrop misses. Hot tag Sting and Hogan is almost immediately in the Scorpion. Here’s the NWO as the match is thrown out.

Rating: D+. Did you really expect anything else here? There’s nothing wrong with setting up the two PPV main events in one TV match as it kills two birds with one stone without doing the same match twice. This was your usual NWO style brawl and the match itself only lasted a few minutes but it was entertaining enough to get by.

And the rematch from a month later on March 16, 1998.

Sting/Lex Luger vs. Hollywood Hogan/Randy Savage

Savage on the mic: “OOOOH YEAH!” Hogan on the mic: “OOOOH NO!” Why did no one think of that before? Sting’s music hits but we only have Luger. Buffer does the entrance but there’s no Sting. Bischoff takes the mic and says Luger is on his own because there’s no Sting. The camera pans up to show a helicopter (blowing the ring skirts and mats around) with Sting REPELING INTO THE RING!

Hogan blames Savage for this so Savage goes to leave, only to be stopped by the Disciple. Hogan jumps Randy from behind as Hogan and Sting look on from the ring. Savage is thrown inside and gets beaten up by Sting with the fans trying to recover from the entrance. A top rope splash gets two for Sting and he shouts at Savage to get up. Sting pops Hogan with a right hand and brings in Luger to work on Savage even more.

Luger suplexes Savage down for no cover and drops him again with a gorilla press. Back to the world champion for an atomic drop before Luger comes in for the running forearm. Hogan isn’t even paying attention to the ring. Savage gets up and slaps Hogan on the back but Hogan says he doesn’t think so and bails.

Randy throws Hogan back inside before getting in a fight with Disciple. Hogan chokes Luger down but Lex avoids the legdrop and tags in Sting. There are a pair of Stinger Splashes for Hollywood and a right hand for Bischoff. Savage is rolled in by the Disciple and everything breaks down, drawing in the Disciple for the DQ.

Rating: D. This wasn’t a match as much as a massive angle. Hogan and Savage already had a bad match last night and it looks like we’re gearing up for another one in the future. Luger continues to be a man with no direction at all as he’s just thrown into random matches to fight for WCW because that’s all he does. Bad match here but the entrance was awesome.

I don’t think it’s any secret that the Mega Powers were a bigger deal in their early days, especially with the stuff leading up to the explosion at Wrestlemania V. Even after that though, it still felt like a huge deal when these guys would team up. They were the biggest stars of their era and they were still a big deal in WCW when they were both past their primes. These two were joined at the hip (and unhip in WCW) and it made a lot of fans very happy over the years.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Today we’re looking at a rather versatile guy named Mike Shaw.

Bastion, real name Mike Shaw, got started back in Canada around 1981. Here he is in Stampede in the early 1980s.

Jim Neidhart vs. Mike Shaw

This is joined in progress, as is almost always the case in Stampede. We’re about seven minutes in and Shaw sends Neidhart into the corner to start. Off to a chinlock for a bit before Neidhart fights up and sends Shaw into the corner to even things out. They stare at each other for a bit before getting down into three point stances. Neidhart wins with ease and punches Mike down before nailing a hard shot to the ribs. The referee calls it a low blow though and the match is over.

This is from some point in the mid 80s from Canada’s Atlantic Grand Prix Wrestling.

Rocky Delasara/Len Montana vs. Man Mountain Mike/Great Malumba

Shaw is a hillbilly named Man Mountain Mike and Malumba is a tribal guy. The ring is only about two and a half feet off the floor for a weird visual. Delasara starts with Mike and the big guy puts the jobber on the top. Mike easily overpowers Rocky (nicknamed the Italian Stallion) and it’s off to Malumba for a hard whip across the ring. Montana comes in as well and eats a quick shoulder for a slow motion fall.

The big guys keep control as it’s off to Shaw for a back elbow to the jaw. Len finally gets in a rake to the eyes to take over on Mike as the heels (I’m assuming) take over on the Mountain. That lasts all of five seconds before it’s Malumba coming back in to nail Delasara in the head. Rocky sends him into the corner though and take over for a few moments again.

Malumba uses the powers of a hard black head to survive for a bit before avoiding an elbow drop. Back to Mike to clean house with standard power man stuff, including a legdrop for two on Montana. A splash gets the same before it’s back to Malumba for a headbutt and the pin.

Rating: D+. This went on longer than it needed to but the point was made well enough. I liked the Malumba guy as he had good energy and enough of an offense to get him through the match. It’s always fun to check out random promotions like this as you never know what you’re going to find.

Here’s another match from Stampede in 1987/88 with Shaw as the evil Makhan Singh against North American Heavyweight Champion Owen Hart.

North American Heavyweight Title: Owen Hart vs. Makhan Singh

Hart is very banged up and we’re joined about eight minutes in with him nailing a back elbow to the jaw to take over. He chokes away as the announcers tell us this has been all Owen so far. Singh goes after the bad eye to take over and attacks it with a foreign object of some kind to cut the eye open. The ring announcer actually calls a doctor in to look at the eye as the match just stops.

Singh will have none of that and takes the bandage off to stay on the eye. He ties Owen in the Tree of Woe and stays on the eye as this is getting ugly. Singh actually gets a yellow card and the doctor stops the match. The referee will have none of that though as Hart comes back with a slam and goes up top, only to miss a splash. Keith Hart comes out to throw in the towel and the match is over, meaning Singh is champion.

Rating: C+. They nailed the emotion stuff here as the fans were entirely behind Hart who would never give up. Singh looked like a killer out there who would do anything to take the title, which made him winning all the better. These two traded the title several times so this wasn’t over yet.

It was off to WCW after this as Shaw became the insane Norman the Lunatic. Here he is at Clash of the Champions VII.

Norman the Lunatic vs. Mike Justice

Norman is a mental patient managed by Teddy Long and more famous as Bastion Booger in the WWF. He easily runs Mike over, crushes him in the corner and sits on his chest for the pin in less than a minute. Teddy holds up a set of keys, symbolizing Norman being locked up again, to calm him down and get Norman on a stretcher.

And again at Clash VIII in the best match Shaw ever had.

Flyin Brian vs. Norman the Lunatic

Brian Pillman comes out with the University of South Carolina cheerleaders and starts fast with a quick suplex on the nearly 400lb Norman. The springboard clothesline puts Norman down on the floor and Brian hits a nice dive off the top. Back inside and Brian goes after the keys that freak Norman out, causing Norman to jump him from behind. A middle rope splash gets two on Brian and Norman slaps his overly large stomach.

Brian rolls outside and gets crushed against the post but avoids a second charge to get a breather. Back in and a missile dropkick puts Norman on his back. Brian actually slams and backdrops Norman down, only to have his cross body get caught in a powerslam for two. Norman whips him in but Pillman comes back with a crucifix for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: B+. This match wasn’t even four minutes long but had more action than matches four times that long. Brian looked awesome out there with his high flying and Norman looked FAR better than you would expect a guy of his size to be capable of. Absolutely awesome match with some great action.

Back to form at Clash X.

Norman the Lunatic vs. Kevin Sullivan

We get another vignette with Norman going to a zoo to count pigs for no apparent reason. There’s no background or history given for this match but I’d assume it’s because they’re both crazy. Sullivan jumps him to start and hammers away but Norman sends him into the post and sits on Kevin’s chest for two. Norman slams him off the top, only to miss a middle rope splash and change control. Sullivan takes him to the floor for a slam and a two count in a nice power display.

A knee to the head has Norman in trouble and Cornette is on fire on commentary. “Norman is so stupid that mind readers only charge him half price.” Norman starts beating on his own head before Sullivan starts pounding on it for him. Back inside and Norman chokes him out to the floor as they fight up the aisle.

Sullivan backdrops him on the ramp for two and they fight into the back. The fans are annoyed because they can’t see anything and they go into the women’s bathroom. This was a tradition of Sullivan’s brawls as I can think of at least three instances where this happened over his career. Sounds of violence are heard behind the door until Norman comes out holding a toilet seat and being declared the winner.

Rating: D+. The brawling wasn’t bad but the falls count anywhere stipulation was only there to set up the comedy ending. Norman wasn’t the best choice as a face as his in ring work was limited due to his size. Sullivan was stuck without anything to do at this point as he works better with a stable around him.

Here’s a better opponent at WrestleWar 1990.

Cactus Jack Manson vs. Norman the Lunatic

Yes it’s Mick Foley and no he doesn’t mean a thing yet. He’s pretty much just thrown onto the card here, much like Cuban Assassin was last time. Jack jumps him to start but gets thrown to the floor with ease. JR: “This will not be a battle of wits. It may be a battle of nitwits.” Also Jack’s favorite color is light black and wants to be the foreman of the Double Cross Ranch.

Jack rams Norman’s head into the buckle and Norman says do it again. A quick bearhug goes on Jack but he’s soon whipped over the corner and out to the floor in a big crash. Headbutt knocks Jack off the apron but misses a charge into the post. Back in and Cactus rips at his face. Cactus pounds him down and it’s off to a chinlock. The electric chair drop puts Jack down but a splash misses. Jack tries a sunset flip but Norman drops onto him for the pin.

Rating: D. Yeah it was bad but Foley of course would get a lot more going for him. Norman is more famous as Bastion Booger and a lot of other bad characters in WWF. Jack was clearly going to be a guy that bumped like mad, but at the end of the day what sets him apart is that he made people care about him as opposed to guys like say New Jack.

Then a six man at Capital Combat.

Road Warriors/Norman the Lunatic vs. Cactus Jack/Kevin Sullivan, Bam Bam Bigelow

Norman the Lunatic is more commonly known as Bastion Booger. This is a weird pairing of six guys if there has ever been one. Oliver Humperdink is here too as Bigelow’s manager and is bare-chested. This is just strange as all goodness on all levels and I have no idea what the point of this is supposed to be. The LOD comes out on Harleys while Norman has to walk behind them. That sums up this match nicely.

How funny is it that of all these people, Cactus Jack was the most successful? Cactus is very young at this point and has nothing going for him. Norman is allegedly an escaped mental patient. That sums things up very well. Animal and the future four time world champion start us off. Animal is MOVING out there. He does two leap frogs and drops low at great speed. This is just weird to see but interesting I’d say.

Hawk vs. Bigelow. Oh dear. Bigelow is sleeveless here which is a strange look for him. This could set selling back a thousand years. Hawk gets the best dropkick he’s ever thrown, hitting Bam Bam square in the face. Sullivan comes in, looks at Hawk, and tags out. Instead he gets Norman. For him imagine Eugene meets Bigelow. See what I mean? In a painful looking spot, Hawk throws the (wooden) steps at Jack where they just bounce off his back while he’s bent over.

OW even if they’re fake. They all take their turns beating on Norman and Sullivan just looks completely out of place in this. Bigelow backdrops Norman. Imagine that one if you can. Norman hits a clothesline on Cactus and just falls on his back. That sums things up for him quite well I’d think. A big old brawl breaks out as Hawk hits the top rope clothesline on Sullivan for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not bad I guess, but at the same time when the best technician is Kevin Sullivan, you’re in trouble. This was to get the crowd going though and I think it worked ok for what it was. That and I can’t imagine they expected this to be a great match or anything, so I’ll let it slide I guess.

Shaw would be repackaged into a truck driver named Trucker Norm. Here he is on WCW TV, October 27, 1990.

Trucker Norm vs. Keith Hart

Hart is billed from Tennessee for some reason and attacks Norm before the bell. That’s about the extent of his offense to start and Norm knocks him outside where manager the Juicer (as in Beetlejuice. Seriously, he was played by Art Barr.) throws powder in his face. Back in and a splash crushes Hart in the corner before Norm sits on him for the pin.

After a few years out of the spotlight, Shaw debuted in the WWF as Friar Ferguson. It’s exactly what it sounds like. From Raw, April 12, 1993.

Friar Ferguson vs. Chris Duffy

Duffy shoves the Friar, in full robes, around to start but the Friar easily backdrops him. A catapult sends Duffy out to the floor and the Friar pulls the robes up a bit to do a little dance. He splashes Duffy for two but pulls up off the cover. The fans say they want Bret as this beating just keeps going. We hit a lame nerve hold before Duffy tries a sunset flip, allowing the Friar to sit on him for the pin.

Rating: F. This was during the “let’s just throw out stupid gimmicks and wonder why no one cares” period which would be amplified in the coming years. The Ferguson gimmick was dropped almost immediately when some religious groups complain, and for once I can’t blame them. Not that I find it offensive, but man alive this was stupid.

Shaw would become his most famous character of Bastion Booger. We’ll pick things up on Raw, August 16, 1993.

Bastion Booger vs. Marty Jannetty

Booger is eating ice cream for some reason. Maybe because he’s hungry. For those of you that don’t remember, Bastion is a big fat guy that wears a diaper looking thing and eats anything. It was a very weird character that didn’t catch on and no one has any clue what the point of it was. The talk is mostly about Jannetty’s red, white and blue arm bands which brings on talk of Luger’s big Lex Express campaign.

Marty, for some reason that God alone knows, beats the living tar out of Bastion. He’s practically a jobber out there. It’s about a 3 minute match, not counting a commercial in between. For one of these minutes, we talk about Madonna’s birthday being today with random jokes about her. The commentary on here is filler.

Now I get the idea of having matches as fillers, but DANG man, I’ve never once heard of having commentary have to be nothing but filler as well. After Jannetty beats on him for a long time, we get back to the show and Jannetty goes for a sunset flip, Bastion stands there for a seconds, then starts waving his arms as he remembers to sell, but then Booger drops down with his finisher, but the referee just stops counting before the three to give Jannetty time to complete the move which gets the pin.

Rating: D. My goodness this made no sense. Marty is apparently being built up for his match at Summerslam with Ludvig Borga. They’re building up a jobber to be squashed by having him squash someone else? Good grief how low does that make Bastion? Literally, Booger had no offense at all and this was a waste of time.

We’ll wrap it up with “comedy” from Survivor Series 1993.

Team Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Four Doinks

Bam Bam Bigelow, Bastion Booger, Headshrinkers

Bushwhackers, Men on a Mission

Ok. I can get through this. Four years ago I stopped watching this midway through but I’m going to get through it this time. The Doinks are all dressed like a clown and their identities were secret until they were unveiled here. Luke comes out on a scooter, Butch has a wagon, the Men on a Mission come out on foot. Mabel needs the exercise so that’s a good idea. Notice that there’s no actual Doink in the match and the fans aren’t going to be pleased here.

A LOUD We Want Doink chant starts up and Bastion and Luke start things off. Booger is a VERY fat guy in a too small singlet in case you’re not familiar with him. Luke bites him on the ample singlet before stomping on Bastion’s foot. Afa bites Butch’s balloon and it’s off to Samu. Then he bites a water balloon and gets rolled up by Luke for the pin. Fatu (Rikishi) comes in and Luke hurts his own head off a headbutt attempt.

Booger comes in and drops a leg on Luke and it’s off to Bigelow with a headbutt to the ribs. Booger comes back in and sits on Luke before stopping for a banana. Another drop by Bastion misses and the Battering Ram puts him down. Mabel drops a leg on Bastion and it’s 4-2. Fatu comes in to offer meat to Luke and takes over, but here’s Mo on a scooter for a ride around the ring. Bigelow comes in and destroys the scooter and Fatu hits the top rope splash….and stops for a banana.

Butch comes in with a bucket of something….scratch that as there’s nothing in it, but Fatu slips on a banana peel as he jumps from it and Butch rolls him up for the pin. Bigelow is all that’s left and he gets to fight Mabel. Bam Bam can’t do anything to the power of fat but Mabel misses a splash. The other Doinks come in and get beaten up also but Butch throws something on Luna. Mabel splashes Bigelow and a dog pile (which is allowed) gets the pin.

Rating: Awe. I am in awe. We had falls from a water balloon, a banana peel and a bucket of something being thrown on Luna. There’s nothing else I can say about that and I’m not going to try.

Mike Shaw is a good example of a guy there they just tried too hard. He was by far his most effective as a monster like Singh but then he had so many gimmicks that made him look like a goof when he was more than capable of being a midcard monster. There weren’t many great or even good matches on his resume but he could have something watchable when he had the right opponent.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Today we’re looking at one of the most common wrestling characters of all time: the evil cowboy with Ron Bass.

Bass got his start in 1975 but we’ll pick things up on June 16, 1979 (my mom’s birthday actually) in Memphis.

Ron Bass vs. Pat Hutchenson

This seems to be Pat’s debut. The much bigger Bass nails Pat in the face to start and plants him with a slam. Some forearms to the back set up a suplex and a running powerslam ends Pat. Total squash.

Same territory with a better opponent at some point in 1981.

Jerry Lawler vs. Ron Bass

There’s a bit of clipping on this one but it doesn’t seem too bad. Bass is Jimmy Hart’s latest fighter in the war with Lawler. Ron takes him into the corner to start but Jerry comes back with a right hand to knock Bass to the floor. More punching ensues and Ron goes outside again. Back in and Jerry drops an elbow drop for two as Jimmy makes a save. Hart says this is No DQ which clears up the question I was about to ask.

Bass knocks Lawler to the floor and rams him face first into a chair. He does the same with the announcers’ table before a chair to the back has Lawler in trouble. We’re clipped a bit to Bass bringing in the chair for another big shot to the ribs. A swinging neckbreaker gets two and an atomic drop gets the same on Jerry. More clipping to Lawler getting all fired up and the strap comes down. A bunch of right hands drop Bass and the middle rope punch is good for the pin.

Rating: D. This was your standard “let’s punch each other a lot” matches and there’s a limit to how good those matches can be. That being said, this is Jerry Lawler in Memphis. He could sit in the ring eating a sandwich and the fans would cheer him until the end of time. That’s quite the compliment to him and this was his old standard, though the clipping made it hard to keep track of.

Some of Bass’ biggest suggest was in Championship Wrestling From Florida. Here he is at some point in Winter of 1983.

Kevin Sullivan vs. Ron Bass

Bass is a face here and has a broken hand. He hammers on Sullivan with the cast to start and Sullivan bails to the floor. Back in and a kick to the jaw sends Kevin outside one more time before Ron cranks on an armbar. Sullivan fights back up and stomps away but dives into a right hand to the ribs. Bass sends him into the buckle a few times and nails the powerslam, only to have Angelo Mosca come in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Another kick and punch match here but I liked the energy they had here. It wasn’t a good match or anything like that, but just the way the crowd was going kept things moving. Bass isn’t terrible as a face, which is really odd to see after all the years I’ve spent seeing him as the evil cowboy.

Off to Starrcade 1984 with Bass in the NWA.

Mid-Atlantic Title: Ron Bass vs. Dick Slater

This is the other fallout match from the attack on Steamboat as it was Bass helping and Slater who was tied up in the corner. Bass is defending and is also half of the Mid-Atlantic tag champions with Black Bart. Slater knocks Bass to the floor to start and it’s time to stand around. Slater chases Dillon into the ring and out to the floor as we’re still waiting on any significant contact.

Back in and Slater suckers Bass into the corner before putting on the move of the night with a headlock. Back up and we go right back into the headlock as we wouldn’t want this to get too exciting. Bass bails tot he floor but gets pulled back inside very quickly. Back in and Bass rams Slater into the buckle and caught in the ropes where Bass punches him back and forth like….something that pops right back up when it goes down.

Slater comes back with some right hands and a boot over the face. After Slater is sent to the floor, Bass pounds him down but Slater starts Hulking Up. It’s short lived though as during the comeback, Slater hits the referee. Dillon comes in and gets beaten up as well but after a slam and legdrop to Bass we get the DQ.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t as horrible as some of the other matches, but again this was nine minutes of punching and headlocks. That’s one of the major problems with this show: everything is so basic and low level that it’s almost impossible to get interested in anything. Also great job here of having Slater get revenge: by losing.

From the next year’s Starrcade.

Ron Bass vs. Black Bart

This is a Texas Bullrope match and if Bass wins, he gets a five minute bullrope match with JJ Dillon, his former manager and Bart’s current manager. You win by pinfall here. Bass immediately hits him in the head with the bell on the rope and Bart is in trouble. Bart is busted less than a minute into the match and Bass pounds him in the head with the bell over and over.

Bart tries to punch his way out of the corner and gets choked with the rope for his efforts. Bass pounds in more shots to the head as we have a recurring theme to this match. Bart finally gets in a bell shot of his own to bust Ron open, but after a few more he misses a charge and goes flying to the floor. Bass keeps pounding away with the bell on the floor, including with a shot off the apron. Back inside and you can insert your own NEEDS MORE COWBELL joke here.

Bass wraps the rope around Bart’s neck and pounds away as the match somehow gets even more repetitive. Both guys fall down as JJ, clad in a tuxedo t-shirt, screams at Bart to get up. Another bell shot sets up a crotching from Bass with the rope. A HARD bell shot to the head has Bart down yet again. Ron pounds on him on the mat but has to stop to yell at JJ, allowing Bart to get back up. The Black one misses a charge in the corner though and a middle rope bell shot from Bass is enough for the pin.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t wild on this one. The big problem here is that it’s the same stuff over and over and over again, meaning it gets really dull after the first few minutes. Some of the bell shots looked great but when you have like thirty of then in an eight minute match, they kind of lose their effectiveness. Not terrible but it’s the epitome of a one idea match.

As a result of that win by Bass, we get this.

Ron Bass vs. JJ Dillon

This is a five minute bullrope match and JJ jumps Bass as the bell rings. JJ chokes away with his boot and hits Bass in the head with the bell. Then he hits Bass again with the bell. Now JJ mixes things up by hitting Bass in the head with the bell. They FINALLY do something else as JJ chokes him down with the rope, only for Bass to make a comeback and slug JJ down with the bell for a bit. A big shot to the head has Dillon down but the referee gets bumped. Bart comes back in and piledrives Bass, giving JJ the cheap pin.

Rating: F. What was the point of this again? To give Bass revenge? I guess so, but I don’t call a few shots to the head with a bell and then getting beaten up by the guy he just beat getting revenge. I’m assuming JJ dumped Bass recently for Bart, but that’s one of those things that the announcers didn’t feel was important enough to explain to us.

Bass would head to the WWF as a much more standard evil cowboy. We’ll start on Superstars, January 24, 1987.

Gladiator/Jimmy Jack Funk/Ron Bass vs. Dan Spivey/Mike Rotundo/Blackjack Mulligan

Well that’s a team for you. On an interesting note, Mulligan is the father of the man that Spivey replaced in the US Express: Barry Windham. Not sure if there’s a point to this or not but whatever. Jesse says his report on Andre and Hogan is coming next week on Piper’s Pit. You have no idea how awesome this sounds to me. Ron Bass doesn’t like Mulligan. Yeah this went nowhere thank goodness. This is mainly about Vince arguing with Ventura so it’s more or less awesome. I have no idea who the Gladiator is but Mulligan pins him.

From October 28, 1987.

Ron Bass vs. Ricky Steamboat

This is a Wrestling Challenge match here, which is the equivalent of Superstars today. I don’t recognize that commentator. One of them is Mike McGuirk (female announcer), one is Nick Bockwinkel and I don’t recognize the third. I think it’s current TNA boss Bruce Pritchard. We’ll go with that. Bass is a cowboy and gets caught with a top rope chop to send him to the floor.

Bockwinkel talks about whether or not top rope moves should be banned. Give me a break. McGuirk is talking about how handsome/good looking Steamboat is. Ok then. Bass takes over and hits a chop for two. Powerslam gets the same. Swinging neckbreaker gets countered and both guys are down. Steamboat counters a suplex into one of his own. They slug it out from their knees and then ram heads. Sleeper is countered by Bass and they go to the floor. They brawl to a double countout.

Rating: F. Horribly dull match here as both guys were in about -5th gear the whole time. Steamboat was coming back from the time off where his wife had a baby (and he lost the IC Title as a result) so maybe it was rust. This was awful though and probably the worst Steamboat match I’ve ever seen.

Bass was in the opening match at the first ever Survivor Series in 1987.

Team Honky Tonk Man vs. Team Randy Savage

Honky Tonk Man, Harley Race, Ron Bass, Danny Davis, Hercules

Randy Savage, Jim Duggan, Ricky Steamboat, Jake Roberts, Brutus Beefcake

Honky doesn’t have Cool Cocky bad as his theme music yet which is a shame. It’s amazing how great the music got in the late 80s. After the heel entrances, Team Savage says they’re here to settle scores. This was a different time as almost all of the faces were friends by default as were the heels just because they were faces and heels. The feuds going into this are Honky vs. Savage and Race vs. Duggan. Other than that the guys are just random midcarders who are faces or heels on a team, which is a pretty cool idea.

The place erupts for Savage’s entrance. Even Jesse couldn’t deny how great Randy was and was a huge fan in his own right. It was clear they had to do something with him soon, and they certainly did soon enough. In the answer to a trivia question, it’s Beefcake vs. Hercules starting the first Survivor Series match ever. Beefcake struts a bit and not much goes on for the first 20 seconds or so.

Hercules (guess what he’s known for) runs Beefcake over but walks into Barber’s sleeper but he falls into his corner to tag in Davis, one of the lowest lever guys you’ll ever find who somehow wasn’t a jobber. He’s a wrestling referee. Seriously, that’s the extent of his gimmick. He’s a referee who cheated a lot and got fired. Savage and Steamboat (who are apparently fine after wanting to kill each other about eight months ago) take turns on Davis but Steamboat misses a charge and it’s off to Race, the current King of the WWF.

Steamboat chops Race in the head and man alive how amazing would those two be able to be in a long old school program? Steamboat skins the cat (I’ve asked this many times, but is that really the best name they could come up with for that? I mean, skinning a cat?) and sends Race to the floor before bringing in Duggan to pound away on Race, knocking him to the floor. Hacksaw heads out with him and they brawl to a double countout, making it 4-4.

Bass (a standard old school cowboy) comes in to face Roberts but it’s quickly off to Savage. A knee sends Bass into the corner and Savage is starting to roll very fast. Savage immediately goes after Honky due to the really bad blood between the two of them and it’s lets Bass get in a shot. Off to the IC Champion (Honky) who gets in some cheap shots but like any good heel, he tags out when Savage starts coming back.

Bass comes in again but a blind tag brings in Barber (Beefcake for you younguns) who hits a high knee for the elimination. Hercules comes in and the bad guys start working over Beefcake’s arm. Off to Honky with an armbar and then right back to Herc. Wisely they’re keeping that schmuck Danny Davis out of there. I guess he’s there because he works for Jimmy Hart but other than that there’s no logical reason for him to be there.

Beefcake tries to punch his way out of trouble but Honky stays on the arm. To say Honky wasn’t much on offense is an understatement as he barely looks to be cranking on the hold at all. Beefcake fights out of the hold but won’t tag because he’s kind of dumb. Davis adds the only thing he’s going to add the whole match and knees Beefcake in the back so that Honky can hit the Shake Rattle and Roll (swinging neckbreaker) for the pin on Beefcake to tie us up at three.

Off to Savage vs. Hercules with the power guy taking over. Davis comes in and things suddenly go downhill for Honky’s team. Yeah, a referee beating on Randy Savage doesn’t work. Who would have guessed? Honky comes in and gets elbowed in the head which lets Savage tag in Jake to pound away. The comeback doesn’t last long though as Jake charges into a boot in the corner and it’s off to Herc. That goes nowhere so here’s Davis and since his offense sucks (BECAUSE HE’S A REFEREE) Jake shrugs it all off and DDTs him to death, making it 3-2 (Savage/Steamboat/Roberts vs. Hercules/Honky).

Herc comes in and takes Jake down and Savage tries to come in for a save, which just allows the heels to double team Jake. Savage isn’t thinking here because of his anger, almost like…..a savage. Oh you’re very clever WWF. Honky hooks a chinlock and Hercules comes in to do the same. Jake hits a jawbreaker to escape and there’s the hot tag to Steamboat who cleans house with chops.

A top rope chop has Herc reeling and it’s off to Savage for the elbow. It’s just Honky left and Savage explodes on him, only to miss another charge (third one for Savage’s team) and let Honky get in some offense. That lasts all of six seconds as the beating continues. Jake comes in and pounds away on him, followed by Savage dropping a double ax. An atomic drop sends Honky to the floor and he’s like screw this and takes the countout. Can you blame him?

Rating: B. This was a really fun match with a good story to it. The fans HATED Honky and the idea of getting him caught at the end with no one to defend him had the fans going nuts. Honky vs. Savage was a great feud but it never had a blowoff due to a bunch of backstage stuff. Honky would somehow hold the title nine more months before perhaps the greatest end to a title run ever at Summerslam. This was a great choice for a first match ever for the concept too as it showed how the idea worked and gave the fans something to cheer about too. Really good stuff.

Here’s a match at a house show in Houston on December 10, 1987.

Ron Bass vs. Ricky Steamboat

Bass holds him off with a whip so the Dragon goes out and grabs a chair. Naturally Steamboat speeds things up and gets a quick sunset flip for two. The cat is skinned and Steamboat gets what we would call a rana for two. For some reason the cameraman wearing a Hulkamania shirt makes me chuckle. Bass takes over and gets a clothesline but walks into something like an enziguri (granted it hit the back but no one knew what it was supposed to be at this point anyway) to send Bass to the floor.

Back in and Steamboat grabs the arm to take the bigger man down. I know it’s basic but it’s about the smartest thing you can do so there’s a reason it’s that common. McGuirk is like Booker T as all she really says is an occasional move in the ring. Steamboat tries to speed this up again but walks into a hot shot to finally shift control to Bass. Piledriver gets two.

Bass hammers away with a knee drop (called Knee-monia by Doherty and making me want to take a knee to the head so I hopefully forget that joke) to the head and various other basic offense for two on a few occasions. Pretty weak swinging neckbreaker gets two. Off to the chinlock now and Steamboat’s face is all crushed up, making it look hilarious.

Here’s the comeback and Steamboat goes up for the top rope chop. Steamboat can’t keep anything going here as a clothesline takes him down again. Out of absolutely nowhere, Steamboat gets a cross body not off the ropes to end this. Surprising endings like those are always fun, especially for the live crowd.

Rating: C-. Never been a fan of Bass but it’s hard to argue against Steamboat in the late 80s. Not bad here but really just a way to kill about ten minutes. Steamboat would be gone in about five months and would head back to the NWA where he would win the world title in February of 89.

Bass also opened the show at Survivor Series 1988.

Team Ultimate Warrior vs. Team Honky Tonk Man

Ultimate Warrior, Brutus Beefcake, Sam Houston, Jim Brunzell, Blue Blazer

Honky Tonk Man, Bad News Brown, Danny Davis, Ron Bass, Greg Valentine

This is fallout from Warrior winning the title at Summerslam. Brunzell is subbing for Don Muraco who has left the company at this point. That’ll be a recurring theme tonight. Valentine and Beefcake starts us off, making it the second year in a row that Beefcake has opened for his team. It’s quickly off to Davis and the sleeper puts him out in less than a minute and a half. Well to be fair there’s no reason for him to be around anyway. Valentine charges right back in to continue the war of the original Dream Team, which I doubt most people would remember at this point.

Greg goes after the legs as is his custom, but since we’re only about three minutes into the match, the Figure Four is broken up. Well to be fair everyone says that Valentine doesn’t get warmed up for about ten or fifteen minutes so he’s still looking for his keys at this point. Off to the Blazer (played by then mostly unknown Owen Hart) who drops an ax handle onto Valentine, giving us the trademark slow fall.

Valentine goes for the arm (not a hammer lock which takes away the irony of it) but Blazer easily takes him down with a headscissors and brings in Brunzell. The Killer Bees were gone at this point so he’s just a guy in trunks. He’s a guy in trunks with a good leapfrog though as he clears Valentine with a lot of room to spare, only to get slammed down. Brunzell pops up and hits the dropkick but it’s off to Bad News. Sweet goodness was this guy born in the wrong generation. Imagine him after the rise of MMA, remembering that he’s a legitimate Olympic bronze medalist in judo.

Brown comes in like the headhunter he’s known as and kills Brunzell with a clothesline. Brunzell tries some basic stuff so Brown kicks him in the chest and beats on him in the corner. Brunzell misses a charge in the corner and the Ghetto Blaster (enziguri) gets the easy pin to tie things up. Brutus comes in and grabs Brown so Houston, one of the least intimidating guys ever, can come off the top with a double ax.

Houston misses a charge in the corner and Brown pounds on him like a stupid looking dancing white boy. A clothesline takes Houston’s head off and here’s Valentine. Make that Brown again and Valentine accidentally hits Brown. That ticks off Bad News and he walks off. That’s not a face turn. He just didn’t like anybody. Houston tries to steal a pin on Valentine but Greg is like boy please.

Off to Bass in a match that I think happened before in the NWA. A rollup gets two for Houston but he charges into another boot in the corner. That’s a popular move in this match. A middle rope cross body gets two for Sam and a forearm from Bass takes his head off for two. Houston’s monkey flip is countered into a powerslam and he’s gone, thank goodness. The guy is just not interesting or good at all.

Warrior comes in to fire the crowd up and attacks everyone left on the other team (Valentine, Bass and Honky vs. Warrior, Beefcake and Blazer at the moment). Honky comes in because he’s not that bright and there he goes, flying through the air off a shoulder tackle. Off to Bass who gets slammed down and hit with a Rocket Launcher from Blazer. Honky comes in and is cross bodied down immediately. A monkey flip and dropkick have Honky in even more trouble so it’s off to Valentine.

Owen gets crotched on the head of Valentine during a leapfrog but apparently Blazer has balls of steel because he suplexes Valentine down and drops a knee for two. Blazer goes up but Honky shoves him off, sending Owen down onto his knee. The Figure Four means a quick elimination by Valentine and we’re down to 3-2. Off to Beefcake vs. Valentine and Jesse mentions that these guys were not only a team but tag champions. Why is that such an afterthought?

Off to Bass who also has history with Beefcake but that isn’t mentioned here, despite it happening like three months before this. A headbutt keeps Beefcake down and it’s back to Elvis Man. His contribution is ramming Beefcake’s head into Bass’ boot and tagging in Valentine. Well no one ever accused him of being a ring general. After Warrior charges in like an idiot, it’s back to Honky for Shake Rattle and Roll, but Brutus backdrops out of it to start his comeback.

Back to Bass who hits a top rope clothesline to keep the advantage and brings in Honky who goes up. Beefcake punches him in the ribs because Honky is about as fast as Arn Anderson at going to the top. Beefcake wins a slugout and we get the eternally funny selling of an atomic drop by Honky. There’s the sleeper but Man dumps them to the floor and they fight to a countout.

This leaves us with Valentine and Bass vs. Ultimate Warrior. Gee I wonder what’s going to happen. A double clothesline puts Warrior down but Valentine can only get two. More double teaming works for a bit but Warrior gets to the ropes and starts shaking. Another double clothesline doesn’t work and an ax handle each gets the two pins to make Warrior the sole survivor.

Rating: C. Not the best match in the world but for a midcard match it was fine. Warrior was insanely over here (as well as insane in general but that’s another talk for later on) and the fans erupted for his comeback at the end. The rest of it is just ok and there’s nothing wrong with that. This was the right choice for an opener though.

Bass’ last feud in the WWF was with Brutus Beefcake, capped off with this match at Saturday Night’s Main Event XIX.

Brutus Beefcake vs. Ron Bass

This was a fairly brutal (for its time) feud as Brutus had cut up Bass’ whip so Bass had used his boot spur on Brutus’ head, cutting him badly. They put a big red X on the screen with the word censored over it, even though Brutus moved around and you could see the cut anyway. That cost Brutus the IC Title shot he had at Summerslam. This is hair vs. hair.

I don’t think they’ve both been in the ring for more than 30 seconds yet. It’s pretty much all Brutus at this point and you know what happened because I said that. Bass gets a nice piledriver. There’s very little to this match at this point. Bass takes forever to go for the pin and after arguing with the referee he walks into a sleeper and of course he’s out in about 4 seconds.

After the commercial he cuts the back of his hair as Bass is apparently out cold for about 5 minutes from a 4 second sleeper. Dang he actually did cut it. Always nice to see them actually do what they’re supposed to do. Perfect timing that he wakes up just when the haircut is over isn’t it?

Rating: D+. This was pretty weak but not awful I guess. This was your run of the mill thing but Bass was your standard heel and Beefcake was WAY over so it works out fine I guess. This was ok for an opener and it does give a blowoff to the feud so it served its purpose in that sense.

Like I said, Bass isn’t exactly the most interesting character in the world but the mid 70s were a different time. He was good enough at what he did to stay employed and that’s more than you can say for a lot of wrestlers back then. That armless Pedigree finisher of his wasn’t half bad.

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Today we’re looking at one of the hardest hitting wrestlers in history: Stan Hansen.

Hansen got his start back in 1973 so as usual, we’re going to have to jump around a lot. We’ll start in MSG on October 25, 1976.

Stan Hansen vs. Ivan Putski

Hansen is in his usual gimmick of an insane cowboy. Gorilla Monsoon is guest referee for reasons that aren’t explained. Putski goes right after Stan to start and hammers away at the much bigger man (Putski was very short) in the corner. The cowboy is in early trouble and Ivan takes him down for even more punches. Stan finally comes back with an elbow to the jaw and some knees to the back for two. Ivan grabs a headlock for a LONG time, as in for the better part of two minutes. They do throw in a backdrop to keep things from getting too boring. Stan fights up and crotches Putski on the top….for a DQ. Eh it’s a different time.

Rating: D. Again, I know it’s a different time, but a match with almost nothing but punches and a long headlock can’t be considered interesting in any generation. I liked Putski going off on Hansen to start but the headlock was too much for me to take. The DQ works well though as Hansen knew he was in trouble and cheated to get out of it like a good heel should.

Hansen is one of the most famous gaijin (foreigner) in Japanese wrestling history. Here he is against one of the other most famous ones at an All Japan show in 1982.

Terry Funk vs. Stan Hansen

It’s a brawl to start as you would expect with Hansen hammering away, only to have Funk come back with those big left hands of his. They’re on the floor less than a minute in but Stan gets inside while Terry sits on the concrete. Back in and Hansen slams Funk, sending him right back to the floor. Some knees and kicks to the back of Funk’s head have him in even more trouble and he goes outside again. This time Stan follows him and hammers away before Funk scores with some elbows to the head back inside.

They grapple on the mat a bit and the fans are into it, though I have no idea who they’re cheering for. Terry chops away from the mat before nailing a belly to back suplex. Funk pounds Hansen in the head but Stan seems to like it and comes back with right hands of his own. We hit a chinlock from Hansen followed by a suplex for two.

Funk is thrown to the floor where he gets a chair, only to draw Stan outside to make it a real brawl. They head back inside and Funk is ticked off. He sends Hansen into the referee and a second referee takes a lariat from Stan. Someone who looks like Ron Bass runs in to hold Funk for the lariat as the match is thrown out.

Rating: C+. Not a bad brawl here and the feud would continue until Funk’s first retirement match the next year when he brought in his brother to help him fight. This was WAY different than what you were going to get around this time as hardcore and violence was a very rare thing to see. Fun but not great stuff.

Off to the WWC at some point in 1984 with Hansen teaming with his most famous partner against a surprising combination.

Abdullah the Butcher/Carlos Colon vs. Bruiser Brody/Stan Hansen

This is a lumberjack match. Apparently Colon knew he was in big trouble against these guys so he got his archrival to help him out. They double team Brody to start but Hansen comes in with a cheap shot to take over. Butcher gets stomped down by the monsters but drives Hansen into the corner for a headbutt from Colon for two. Stan hammers away on him as well and Carlos is busted open. The monsters start double teaming again but Colon crawls over to make the hot tag to Butcher. Everything breaks down but the lumberjacks come in for the quick no contest.

Rating: D+. This felt like a way to set up something for later but that doesn’t mean this was anything special. From what I can tell this is at the anniversary show, which means you would think it’s more definitive than just having a brawl with the lumberjacks to end things. Nothing to see here but Brody and Hansen looked terrifying.

Some of Hansen’s biggest success came in the AWA and we’ll start at SuperClash 1985.

AWA World Title: Rick Martel vs. Stan Hansen

Martel is defending. This is the next to last match thank goodness. Hansen jumps him to start and they go to the floor as the bell rings. Back in and it’s all Hansen. If I understood right this has a 25 minute time limit. The midgets got 45. Martel sunset flips him for two. Hansen takes him to the mat and chokes away before it’s a big brawl. They go to the floor and Hansen hits him with some chairs and it’s a DQ in about two and a half minutes. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? We’ve had eleven other matches and the WORLD TITLE MATCH gets two and a half minutes? You couldn’t cut one of the six men matches down? I’m done.

Hansen would win the title from Martel soon after this and defended it at WrestleRock 1986.

AWA World Title: Stan Hansen vs. Nick Bockwinkel

Hansen is the champion and evil here. He runs over Nelson for no apparent reason. Hansen normally works for Baba in Japan but is here as champion to give the AWA a boost. They immediately go to the floor with Hansen pounding away. Nelson immediately turns into a super Bockwinkel fan as Nick makes a brief comeback. Hansen kicks him in the face and hooks a chinlock. This is looking wild so far.

Elbow drop gets two for the champion. Bockwinkel takes over on the arm and now Stan is in trouble. Nick tries to fight back with some right hands but they get him nowhere. A sunset flip gets two as the cameraman drops the camera. Off to an armbar as Trongard tells us how great the AWA is. I haven’t mentioned it that often but he says it more often than Cole plugs Twitter. They slug it out, naturally won by Stan, and it’s time for another chinlock.

Trongard spends the entire hold on a speech about how second best isn’t acceptable in the AWA and how they have the best. YOU JUST SAID THAT TEN SECONDS AGO!!! Nick tries to come back and grabs a sleeper, one of his finishers. Hansen gets to a rope though and they fall to the floor. They slug it out a bit out there but then go back inside to punch each other (HARD) some more.

Hansen outsmarts Nick (hard to do) by suckering him into a stun gun for two. Nick blocks a suplex into one of his own for two. It gets two so Nelson says almost only counts in drive-in movies. I think I get what he means there and I don’t think I want to know if I’m right. The referee gets bumped so Bockwinkel’s slam only gets no cover. Crossbody gets the same. Piledriver gets two…and then Hansen backdrops him over the top for the LAME DQ.

Rating: B-. Why am I not surprised? This match was starting to get good and then never mind, because we need to have a screwy finish. As usual, the idea here is simple: give them something to fight over in the form of the title and have two talented guys in there and you’ll get a good match. Bockwinkel would get the title later on when Hansen said screw this nonsense and went to Japan full time.

Here’s a TV match from some point in June 1986.

AWA Title: Stan Hansen vs. Jerry Blackwell

This is from about a month prior and it’s the night before Hansen forfeited the title and it was handed to Bockwinkle. Why are they showing this? I don’t know. They point out everything I just told you, but whatever. This is from Oakland in case you’re wondering. I guess this is from an old TV taping or something? Blackwell weighs about 500 pounds so Hansen is in by far better shape…somehow.

Hansen doesn’t have his vest off yet. Blackwell has a bad ankle apparently. Hansen is busted open. Yeah this is from June 28, but they’re airing it on July 22. Sure, why not? Hansen can’t slam him of course. Blackwell is your standard big fat man that can’t really do much of anything due to his excessive fatness. Hansen is in a bearhug and he’s totally no selling it for the most part.

The referee goes down as Blackwell hits the splash. A boot to the back of the head of Blackwell and he’s down. Another boot shot and he’s getting up. Yeah the more you hit him the more he gets up. Why does this make no sense? Blackwell is bleeding as we’re at about 15 shots with the boot. The new referee comes in and does the incredibly stupid thing and tackles Hansen. After getting his head kicked in, Blackwell gets up after about 20 boot shots and beats up Hansen. What a mess at the end.

Rating: D+. This was a brawl and not a very interesting one. For whatever reason Blackwell was WAY over and that’s about it here. The ending was a mess as this flt like something from a house show or something like that. Nothing good at all here but it was an ok brawl I suppose.

Back to Japan for the AJPW/WWF Wrestling Summit on April 13, 1990 with Hansen in the main event.

Stan Hansen vs. Hulk Hogan

Like I said this was supposed to be Gordy, but that didn’t happen. HOLY CRAP Hansen is freaking nuts! He runs the announcer over, literally. It’s saying a lot when a guy is named after his finishing move. Hogan gets an epic pop for the song called Real American from a Tokyo audience. That’s impressive in its own right.

Anyone that says he’s not the biggest international star ever is freaking NUTS. Austin had a hotter period, but no one has Hogan’s longevity at that spot. Granted his refusal to leave said spot killed WCW, but whatever. Crowd is NUTS for this. This is easily the most into a match they’ve been all night. It’s very rare when Hogan might be the more technically sound of the two.

This is where the Cena knows five moves argument falls apart as Hogan is wrestling a very technical style, hitting his second drop toehold in two minutes, adding in a three quarter nelson. This turns into a brawl, which makes sense as it’s what both men do best. Hogan is dominating, which is very odd indeed. He throws in what would today be called an Angle Slam for good measure. Hansen has done almost nothing at all here.

They hit the crowd for a bit and Hansen is slammed onto a table. Note that it was onto a table and not through it. We’ve been going about 6 minutes here and it has been ALL Hogan. Hansen is busted. He gets a boot in the corner to a MASSIVE pop. Out in the crowd again he gets a chair to Hogan’s head and the big bald man is bleeding. The announcers are having another orgasm as their balls must be aching from having so many here.

Hansen is dominating now and he gets a few shots with the bull rope to Hogan. He calls for the Lariat to a huge pop but Hogan hits a forearm to block. Leg drop misses and Hansen gets two off of that. HOGAN THROWS A FREAKING CROSS BODY! AND IT WAS DECENT!!! After a big boot for a block, Hogan hits a big clothesline for the pin. That came from out of nowhere.

Rating: B-. It was shorter than I would have liked, but to have Hogan dominate the majority of the match and then hit something other than the leg drop for the pin. It was a very nice change of pace. Hogan’s offense wasn’t nearly as great as it’s made out to be, but it’s certainly different and a nice break from what we’re used to. For a main event it was fine, but a few more minutes would have helped it a lot.

It was back to America later in the year with Hansen appearing in WCW at Clash of the Champions XII.

Z-Man vs. Stan Hansen

Stan pulls him to the floor and rams Z-Man into everything he can find. Back inside and some elbow drops have Z-Man in trouble as Ross talks about Hansen’s football career. As the destruction continues, we get an inset interview from Lex Luger who can’t wait for Stan Hansen to come for a shot. Hansen easily stops Z-Man’s comeback attempt and destroys him with the Lariat (hard clothesline) for the pin.

Rating: C. Again, this was more entertaining than good and there’s nothing wrong with that. Stan was an absolute monster and one of the scariest men ever in wrestling due to how insane he was. He would be a bigger deal in Japan and his most successful days in America were behind him, but he was having a very nice run right here and as you would expect, he feuded with Luger over the US Title soon after this.

Off to Halloween Havoc 1990 for a US Title shot.

US Title: Stan Hansen vs. Lex Luger

Luger has held the title for an insane seventeen months coming into this, a record which is about six months longer than anyone else ever. Luger goes nuts on Hansen to start and elbows him to the floor. Back in and Hansen takes it right back to the floor, sending Luger into the post. They head back in (again) and Lex slams him down but gets taken down with a headlock takeover. A charge misses Luger in the corner and Hansen lands on the floor.

Luger rams Hansen into the ramp a few times and heads back in to drop some knees. A snap suplex puts Stan back in control and an elbow drop gets two. Hansen hits a headbutt and bulldog for two. He goes up for some reason but misses an elbow. Luger comes back with a dropkick and pounds away on the challenger.

Elbow drop gets two as does a suplex. Hansen comes back but shoves a referee which doesn’t draw a DQ for some reason. The Lariat misses but Luger hits a clothesline of his own. Here’s Dan Spivey, Hansen’s protege, to throw in the cowbell. Luger avoids that and bulldogs him down. He calls for the Rack but walks into the Lariat for the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. The match was a lot of punching and kicking, but to their credit they had Hansen win the title almost completely clean here. The weapon shot didn’t hit, Spivey didn’t touch Luger, the referee didn’t see anything at all and it was the Lariat that got the pin. Hansen would lose the title at Starrcade but this was a good surprise. The match was pretty dull though.

And a rematch at Starrcade 1990.

US Title: Lex Luger vs. Stan Hansen

Hansen is a crazy Texan who took the title from Luger in October in a big upset, ending Luger year and a half reign. This is a Texas lariat match, meaning you’re attached to your opponent by the wrist and you have to touch all four buckles. Hansen jumps Luger to start and hiptosses him down but Luger comes back with right hands of his own. Stan is fine with that and beats on Luger with the rope before choking away in the corner. Lex fires off more right hands and we head to the floor for choking with the rope.

Stan gets in a chair to Luger’s back before they head back inside to slug it out even more. This is much more of a fight than a match. A clothesline puts Hansen down and Luger goes for a cover out of instinct. Instead Luger goes to two straight corners but gets suplexed down before he can get to a third. Hansen wraps the rope around Luger’s neck and drags him around to touch some buckles before Lex breaks the momentum, ending the streak.

Tired of wrestling, Hansen throws the rope around Luger’s neck and tosses him over the top rope to hang him. Well when nothing else works, go for the murder I guess. Back in and Hansen drops an elbow before touching three buckles, only to have Luger pop up with a clothesline. Stan chokes away but they go back outside with Hansen being clotheslined down and sent into the post.

Back in and Luger starts dragging Hansen around but Stan holds back after the third buckle. Lex finally pulls away and gets the fourth buckle but the referee goes down at the same time. Another referee comes out as Hansen starts touching buckles with Luger tied around the throat again. Hansen gets a third buckle as the original referee is waking up. Stan knocks Luger out and touches the fourth buckle to retain the title.

Rating: D+. As usual, these matches become the same thing over and over again: one guy gets close and then momentum is stopped, meaning we have to keep going. Hansen being completely insane helped the match a lot and Luger was still insanely popular, so the crowd was into it. That didn’t stop the match from being rather dull though.

One more WCW match at WrestleWar 1991.

Stan Hansen vs. Big Van Vader

This is a rematch of a match from Tokyo that was thrown out. They immediately start on the ramp and it’s a big brawl. Vader takes him down but Hansen hits a short range lariat. Back into the ring and Vader hits one of his own to take over. Vader hits a corner splash and it’s off to a quick chinlock. Out to the floor and Vader takes him down again with more punches.

In the ring Vader misses a splash in the corner, allowing Hansen to hit a belly to back suplex for two. They go back to the floor and let the weapons loose! Each guy takes a chair shot to the head and Hansen takes over back inside. That lasts about 4 seconds so we head back outside with Vader draping him over the barricade. Hansen drives a knee into Vader and they head back inside for more brawling. Randy Anderson tries to separate them and gets launched to the floor for the double DQ, getting booed out of the building in the process.

Rating: C+. This was nothing like a wrestling match but with stuff like this, having it be a total war with both guys beating the tar out of each other is the right move. The match was fun because Hansen was big enough and psycho enough to hang with Vader in a fight, which is what this was. Good stuff.

We’ll wrap it up with Hansen appearing at ECW Ultra Clash 1993.

Abdullah the Butcher/Kevin Sullivan vs. Terry Funk/Stan Hansen

This is more or less anything goes. Terry goes up the scaffold. It’s a Bunkhouse Match, which was Dusty’s idea of anything goes. No story here it appears but rather just four crazy guys that can fight. Chairs are brought in and it’s Sullivan vs. Funk and the other two fight also. Ok never mind no they don’t. Abdullah throws photographers out of the way to get to Funk. Joey is LOVING this.

They trade off we actually get to the ring. Sullivan and Funk go up the scaffold as I realize how weird it is to see Hansen in America. It’s just not something you see that often. Funk is busted open. Naturally there’s no flow or anything like that and it’s just a wild brawl. Funk gets a chair and blasts everyone with it. Abdullah can barely move but that’s typical for him and not meant as a knock to him.

I’m pretty sure everyone is bleeding now and Sullivan blasts Funk in the head with a hammer. Ok that was insane. That’s beyond FREAKING OW MAN. Abdullah accidently hits Sullivan and Funk goes for a Figure Four on him of all things. Someone with a chair comes in and we actually get a DQ. It’s Eddie Gilbert. Dang I thought he was gone. Funk and Hansen win.

Rating: B+. Totally wild brawl but the DQ ending killed it. This was exactly what it was supposed to be: totally violent with no semblance of order or anything like it. This is the life’s blood of ECW and something tells me this is a Heyman thing. The bunch of run ins after the match ended are practically a trademark of his.

Hansen would stick around Japan for several more years but….I really don’t want to sit through a bunch of thirty minute matches when I think you get the idea. Hansen is a guy that could scare anyone with pure intensity and his popularity in Japan made him one of the biggest stars in the world. He had success in America as well and is still one of the best cowboys of all time. Check him out if you want to see one of the toughest wrestlers of all time.

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This is one of those things that only makes sense in wrestling’s warped twisted logic.

It’s 1994 at Clash of the Champions XXX.  The main event is Hulk Hogan/Randy Savage vs. Kevin Sullivan/The Butcher, which is yet another in the far too long list of gimmicks in the career of Brutus Beefcake.  Butcher used a sleeper hold as a finisher and knocked Hogan out.  Savage shook Hogan but couldn’t wake him up, so he came up with one of the cleverest ideas I’ve ever seen.

Unfortunately I can’t get the videos to embed so here are links to the match.  Start the first video at 8:00 in if you just want to skip ahead.

Part 1

http://www.dailymotion.com/playlist/xqfnv_doodoobrown58_wcw-clash-of-champions-xxx/1#video=x75zt4

Part 2

http://www.dailymotion.com/playlist/xqfnv_doodoobrown58_wcw-clash-of-champions-xxx/1#video=x75zym

 

And of course the review.

Kevin Sullivan/Butcher vs. Hulk Hogan/Randy Savage

 

Vader gets in Hogan’s face during the entrances and Flair is back in his seat. Hogan throws Butcher into the corner to start and a running clothesline puts him on the mat. Savage comes in off the top with an ax handle to Butcher’s head before bringing Sullivan in for a beating as well. Back to Hogan as we look over Vader’s shoulder. Hulk runs over Butcher but gets caught in the sleeper. Savage tries to make the save twice in a row but Hogan is out cold.

 

Butcher lets go so Savage tries to wake Hogan up to no avail. With nothing else to do, Savage goes to the top and drops his signature elbow drop, causing Hogan to Hulk Up as he does every time he gets hit with a finishing move. It makes sense in that twisted wrestling logic. Hogan fights back as everything breaks down with Savage being thrown over the top rope and out to the floor. Sullivan sends Randy into the post and then the barricade as the villains take over.

 

Savage takes a beating from both guys and is thrown to the floor again. He gets up quickly but can barely stay on his feet. Back in and Savage is tied up in the Tree of Woe (hanging upside down in the corner), drawing in Hogan for a failed save attempt. Butcher puts Savage in the sleeper but Randy breaks out with a jawbreaker. Hogan gets the hot tag and cleans house before Savage drops the elbow on Butcher. The legdrop is enough to get the pin.

 

Rating: D+. There wasn’t much to this one. The match felt like any other Hogan vs. monsters match but the monsters were Kevin Sullivan and the Butcher. At the end of the day, Hogan vs. someone smaller than him very rarely works and these two just weren’t going to cut it. The Reviving Elbow was a stroke of brilliance though.

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Starrcade 1994
Date: December 27, 1994
Location: Nashville Municipal Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee
Attendance: 8,200
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

 

This show is the first of a new era for WCW. Now instead of the old style of long matches with the focus being on athleticism and storytelling, the show is based around the idea of spectacle and over the top characters and what would become known as sports entertainment. There is certainly something to that style as it made the WWF the top company in the wrestling world, but it’s a big shift from one style to the other which may or may not work all that well in WCW. Let’s get to it.

 

We open with the usual montage of the matches tonight.

 

Santa Claus, as played by Kevin Sullivan’s brother Dave, is here.

 

Before we get going, some singer named Aaron Tippen sings the national anthem. Why he’s wearing a Tampa Bay Lightning jersey in Nashville is never explained.

 

We recap Randy Savage debuting on an episode of WCW Saturday Night and saying he had a problem with Hogan being world champion. He wanted to see Hogan but was told that Hogan would be in Nashville on December 27, so Savage promised to show up.

 

To keep the show from starting even longer, we see Hogan being presented with the PWI Wrestler of the Year award.

 

US Title: Vader vs. Jim Duggan

 

Duggan is another guy that was brought into WCW and then beat Austin in 45 seconds for the US Title back in September. If you’re not familiar with him, Duggan is an American patriot, who promises to give everything he’s got in all of his matches. It’s really basic but worked quite well for him over the years. It’s a brawl in the aisle to start with Duggan pounding Vader down. Duggan is kind of a clueless putz but he’s a good brawler who can hang with Vader in a fist fight.

 

They fight on the floor with Vader being sent ribs first into the barricade. I don’t think the bell has rung yet. Vader tries to get in and Duggan jumps him again with more right hands. A clothesline drops Vader again and a second puts him on the floor. Back in and Duggan this a cross body for two and a delayed body slam for the same. Duggan keeps pounding away as Vader has been on defense the entire way through. Another clothesline puts Vader down and a knee drop gets two.

 

Off to a chinlock as Race is panicking on the floor. Vader finally comes back with some punches, only to have Duggan fire off even more big right hands. The challenger smacks him in the head though and Duggan is staggered. Jim clotheslines him down for the third time but Vader is in the ropes to break up a pin. In something very out of character for Duggan, he goes up to the middle rope and completely misses an elbow drop. Vader goes after the ribs as Duggan is now in trouble.

 

A slam puts Duggan down and there’s the Vader Bomb (a middle rope pump splash if you’ve never seen it) for two as Jim gets his foot on the ropes. Vader loads up another Bomb but Duggan kicks him down, only to be run over by a standing splash. Race gets in some choking with the referee not paying attention like a good evil manager. Vader slaps his arms around Duggan’s ears to put him down but Duggan rolls away from the moonsault.

 

Back up and Duggan hits the fifth clothesline of the match to put both guys down again. Duggan’s Three Point Clothesline hits but Race breaks up the cover. Vader goes up top but dives into a powerslam like he did two years ago but there’s no referee due to Race again. Duggan loads up another clothesline but Vader shoves him into Harley, who was holding up Duggan’s 2×4. Vader picks up Duggan and drops him on his face for the pin and the title.

 

Rating: B-. This was shockingly good with Duggan working HARD out there to keep up with Vader. They had the fans believing that Duggan could survive the monster which is all you can ask for with guys like Vader. This was also a good way for Vader to bounce back as he hadn’t had the best year in 1994. He would get to feud with Hogan over the first two months of 1996.

 

The Faces of Fear have a tombstone for Hogan. They all promise to hurt their opponents tonight. Sullivan implies that someone has been paid to help against Hogan.

 

Alex Wright vs. Jean-Paul Levesque

 

Levesque used to be known as Terra-Rizin but now is a French aristocrat character. Wright is from Germany, is 18 years old and loves to dance. Feeling out process to start with Levesque taking over via an armbar on the mat. Wright spins out and dropkicks Levesque down before breaking a wristlock the same way. Now Alex takes over with an armbar of his own before Levesque puts on a headlock. Wright counters into a headscissors in a sequence that works so well that they do it all over again.

 

Back to the mat for another armbar by Wright as this match is very basic so far. Then again both guys are rookies so they don’t exactly know how to work a long match yet. Levesque has enough of this wrestling stuff and punches Wright in the face to take over. Jean-Paul chokes away in the corner and takes Wright down with a spinwheel kick. A shoulder block gets a very slow two count for Levesque and he ducks a cross body to send Wright crashing into the mat.

 

Alex gets kicked in the head while on the floor as Heenan makes Hogan’s Heroes jokes. Levesque breaks up a sunset flip attempt via a right hand before putting on a chinlock. Wright fights up and hits another dropkick for two before being put in the chinlock again. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Alex down but Levesque misses a top rope elbow. Wright hits a quick backdrop but Jean-Paul gets up and they ram heads, putting both guys down. Alex flips over Levesque out of the corner and a rollup is good for the pin.

 

Rating: C. This was just ok and again there was no reason for this match to be happening. Wright continued to be a guy that WCW was moments away from pulling the trigger on for years to come. The really interesting guy here though is Levesque, who soon after this was offered a spot as Steven’s Regal’s tag partner. Thinking he had no future with the company, he was granted his release and signed with the WWF, who gave him the same gimmick (minus being French) and named him Hunter Hearst Helmsley, which he later shortened to Triple H. In other words, WCW had Triple H, Austin and Mick Foley (Cactus Jack) and let them all go. Think about that for a second.

 

TV Title: Arn Anderson vs. Johnny B. Badd

 

Johnny is defending and this was supposed to be Honky Tonk Man challenging, but he walked out on the company literally earlier in the day so Anderson is a replacement. Anderson is also a member of the Stud Stable with Colonel Parker and a monster called Meng with him here. He runs Badd over to start and does a little dance in a funny bit. Johnny takes it down to the mat and hooks a hammerlock to steal a page from Anderson’s playbook.

 

Anderson gets caught in a headscissors but quickly gets to the rope. Now we talk about Johnny’s underwear for no apparent reason until Anderson hooks a top wristlock to take Badd down. Johnny takes over with an armbar before armdragging Arn out to the floor. Back in and Badd pounds away, only to charge into Arn’s spinebuster for no cover. Heenan starts talking about Mr. T. vs. Sullivan out of nowhere as Parker talks trash at Badd.

 

Arn hooks an abdominal stretch and grabs the rope for some extra cheating. We get another Anderson signature spot as he takes Johnny down to the mat with a test of strength grip before jumping into the air and landing on Badd. For once though, Anderson doesn’t get crotched. Off to a chinlock as the match is starting to drag, which to be fair is due to these two having no issues. Anderson grabs a sleeper but Badd reverses into one of his own, only to be caught in a jawbreaker. Badd comes back with a sweet knee lift and a top rope sunset flip for two. A quick rollup is good enough for Johnny to retain the title.

 

Rating: D+. The lack of a story hurt a lot but at the end of the day they had like five hours to set this match up. Anderson was a great choice for a fill in spot like this as he held the title so many times before so he had a reasonable chance of taking the belt. That’s exactly what he did in about two weeks, which makes me wonder why he didn’t just win it here.

 

The Nasty Boys win Tag Team of the Year. Who would actually vote for them is beyond me.

 

Nasty Boys vs. Harlem Heat

 

Harlem Heat, a pair of brothers from Texas named Stevie Ray and Booker T, had actually won the tag titles a few weeks before this but the TV show hadn’t aired yet, meaning they aren’t listed as champions yet. I believe the Nastys are the good guys here. It’s a brawl to start with Sags hitting a pumphandle slam on Booker for two. Booker, the speed guy of the team, starts with Sags and takes Jerry down with a forearm to the face.

 

Sags comes back with a standing slam before bringing in Knobs for a double back elbow. Stevie takes a double elbow of his own and the Nasties are in full control. Booker is sent to the floor and taken down by a clothesline before being thrown back inside. Stevie gets in a shot and the Heat finally takes over via an elbow to Brian’s face. Knobs comes right back with a clothesline, allowing the Nasties to start clubberin (a Dusty Rhodes term, meaning to pound the tar out of someone in the corner) Stevie down.

 

Jerry stays in to work on the arm but Stevie gets in an elbow to bring in Booker. Knobs is in as well with a DDT on Booker’s arm for two. Off to an armbar as the resting begins. Sags comes back in with an armbar of his own but Booker sends him to the floor, allowing for a bicycle kick to Sags’ jaw.

 

Back in and it’s off to Stevie for some strikes of his own. We hit the nerve hold to make sure the match doesn’t get going at any sort of a good pace. Off to a chinlock instead to pick up the pace (now he’s using TWO hands to rest) but Jerry comes back with a jawbreaker. Now it’s off to a bearhug by Booker, followed by a front facelock from Ray. These moves are going on for about a minute and a half each with nothing else at all.

 

Sags gets a boot up in the corner and a clothesline turns Stevie inside out. A double DDT on Harlem Heat is enough for the tag off to Knobs and house is cleaned. The Heat’s manager Sherri gets on the apron to spray Knobs but hits Booker instead, allowing Sags to drop a top rope elbow (popular move tonight), but Sherri comes in off the top for the DQ.

 

Rating: D. This was another long and dull match with WAY too much laying around in rest holds. On top of that we had to wait for eighteen minutes until the lame ending with Sherri coming in. The Heat would get FAR better in the future, but their feud with the Nasties dragged them way down.

 

Post match Sherri gets a Pit Stop. It involves Knobs raising his arms in the air and I think you can figure the rest out for yourselves.

 

Sting receives the Most Popular Wrestler of the Year Award.

 

Here at the show, Sting is ready for Avalanche and loves the fans.

 

Mr. T. vs. Kevin Sullivan

 

Mr. T. was with Mr. T. at the first Wrestlemania and has been associated with him on and off ever since. He’s in a referee shirt and hat here for no apparent reason. T sidesteps Sullivan to start and hiptosses him down….as Santa comes out. Some headbutts put Sullivan in the corner and T pounds away, only to be sent out to the floor.

 

Sullivan rips his shirt over T’s head and pounds away as a cameraman goes down. They stay on the floor with Sullivan continuing to pound away until Jimmy Hart, Hogan’s manager, comes out. The distraction lets him slip his megaphone to Santa (Kevin’s brother) who blasts Kevin in the head, giving T the pin.

 

Rating: F. Was there a point to this that I was missing? It wasn’t even four minutes long and T was on offense for all of thirty seconds. The rest of this was Sullivan slowly beating on T outside before the finish. Other than that, not much to see here at all but I guess T brought in some extra buys for the show.

 

Post match Kevin beats up his brother, giving him a piledriver and whipping him with a belt. Remember that Dave is dressed as Santa Claus.

 

Hogan was hoping that Butcher would come to his senses and get the match called off, but Butcher hasn’t said a word to Hogan. As for Savage, he hopes Randy doesn’t make the big mistake but Hulk is ready if he does. Jimmy Hart swears to never turn on Hogan. This was weird to longtime WWF fans as they were only together in the WWF for a few months before Hogan left, but in WCW it seemed like they were friends for life.

 

Avalanche vs. Sting

 

The fans are of course completely behind Sting. Both guys yell at each other a lot before they shove each other around. Sting hits the first significant contact with a right hand before they go to the corner, where Avalanche starts pounding away at the ribs. Avalanche misses a charge and Sting fires off some quick kicks to the leg. Sting is taken down by pure power though and some elbow drops gets two. There’s a legdrop as well but Sting gets to his feet. Avalanche knocks him right back down and stands his 450lb mass on Sting’s chest.

 

Sting fights out of the corner and kicks Avalanche down, sending him rolling out to the floor. Back in and Avalanche puts on a headlock followed by a big clothesline to take Sting down. A powerslam crushes Sting again for two as the match slows down a bit. To be fair though, that’s the right idea for someone like Avalanche. We hit the bearhug and Sting is in big trouble.

 

Instead of squeezing even more though, Avalanche rams Sting into the corner, but Sting comes out with a sleeper to slow Avalanche down. Avalanche finally rams him into the corner enough to escape, only to have Sting fire off kicks to the leg. The big man loads up his Avalanche seated splash but Sting pops up and fires off clotheslines.

 

A dropkick sends Avalanche into the corner to crush the referee and Sting adds a Stinger Splash on top of that. Sting slams Avalanche and puts on the Deathlock but there’s no referee. Sullivan comes in and the double team allows for the seated splash to hit, but here’s Hogan with a chair for the save as the match is thrown out.

 

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t horrible here but for the goodness’ sake, why in the world couldn’t they have Sting beat a guy like Avalanche here? This is Starrcade, not some random TV show where you need to build up for something else. For the life of me I have no idea what the point of a DQ was here, but 1994 WCW didn’t make a ton of sense at times.

 

Jimmy Hart wins Manager of the Year. Hart preaches to the audience about being saved by Hulk Hogan. Heenan has a stomach ache.

 

We recap Butcher vs. Hogan. In short, they were friends forever and Brother Bruti (Brutus Beefcake was his WWF name) got tired of being in the shadow. He put on a mask and attacked Hogan with a pipe to the knee while aligning with Sullivan in the 3 Faces of Fear. Beefcake was around during a lot of the attacks, as there were two masked man at times, with the other being presumably either Flair or a hired goon. Hogan eventually unmasked him, meaning it’s time for the showdown. Not that anyone wanted to see it, but we’re getting it no matter what.

 

WCW World Title: The Butcher vs. Hulk Hogan

 

Hogan’s music stops for the big match intros then starts up again after his introduction. Commissioner Nick Bockwinkel sends Sullivan and Avalanche to the back. Hogan (the champion of course) shoves Butcher away but Butcher goes to the eyes to take over. The announcers talk about these two being longtime friends, with Heenan saying this is like watching Andy beat on Aunt Bea. They head to the floor with Butcher ramming Hogan into the barricade and choking away with a cable.

 

Jimmy Hart steals a chair from Butcher as Heenan cheers Butcher on. Hogan comes back and sends Butcher into the post before hitting him with a chair. Now Hogan chokes with a cord as well before we head back inside where Butcher hits a running knee to the face. A powerslam gets one for Butcher as he pulls off of Hogan. Butcher misses a middle rope elbow and Hogan comes back with right hands to the head. The champion bites Butcher’s head and pounds away in the corner as Hogan is in full control.

 

Butcher comes back with some throat shots before we hit the nerve hold. Hulk fights up and hits a shoulder block, only to be knocked back into the ropes. There’s Butcher’s sleeper but Hogan is almost immediately fighting up. Butcher takes him back down and lets Hogan go, but Hogan is playing possum. The challenger covers and Hogan of course shoves him off at two. As is Hogan’s custom, he fires off right hands, beats up the other invading Faces of Fear and hits the legdrop to retain the title.

 

Rating: F. At the end of the day, this is Hulk Hogan beating up a guy who has done absolutely nothing of note over the years but is Hogan’s good friend. In other words, this had nothing to do with the Butcher’s ability or anything like that, but rather that he was friends with Hogan. The match was horrible with Hogan never being in anything resembling danger, making this a horrible choice for the Starrcade main event. Other than maybe 1992, this was probably the weakest main event to date.

 

Post match the 3 Faces of Fear stare Hogan down but here’s Savage. Hogan has a chair but Savage asks the other villains to leave. Before they leave though, Savage turns on them and helps Hogan clear the ring. Heenan sounds like he’s having a heart attack. Hogan and Savage pose for a long time as we look at replays.

 

In the back, Hogan and his friends celebrate in the back when Vader comes in to stare Hogan down and challenge him for the title. Two PPV main events in a row would result. This segment somehow also gets seven and a half minutes.

 

Overall Rating: D-. This show was a massive love letter from Hulk Hogan to Hulk Hogan. The post main event stuff sets up some future matches, which Hogan would of course dominate. That was the problem with WCW around this time: it was ALL Hogan and his friends against various heels, most of which were nothing of note. The only decent match on here is the opener and that was just ok. Terrible show here with nothing of value at all.

 

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Is the Dungeon of Doom.  It’s true.Think about it.  Let’s look at what they accomplished:

1. They won a lot of titles.

2 World Titles

1 US Title

1 Tag Title (Half)

1 TV Title

 

Not too bad for being around about two years.

 

2. They stopped face Hulk Hogan’s year plus long title reign.  That means Giant did what Flair, Vader, Luger, Sting and Savage couldn’t do, and he did it in his debut match.

 

3. Those two world titles came from Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair.  One other man has ever done that and his name is Sting.  It took Giant seven months.  It took Sting seven years.

 

4. Kevin Sullivan had a forgotten classic at Bash at the Beach 1996 against Chris Benoit.  I’ll take that match over the Bret vs. Shawn Iron Man match any day.

 

5. Yeah they were stupid, but look at the NWO with all of their changes and backstabbing and Hogan destroying a company.  Wrestling was built on being over the top and insane so why was it bad when the Dungeon did it?