One Night Stand 2007
Date: June 3, 2007
Location: Jacksonville Veterans Memorial, Jacksonville, Florida
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Tazz, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re done with ECW now other than having Vince McMahon defend the title against Lashley in a street fight here. Other than that there’s nothing of ECW around here as the main event is Cena vs. Khali for the title in a falls count anywhere match. Should be ok though as big gimmick PPVs tend to be pretty good. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about how tonight there are extreme rules and list off the various matches we’re having tonight with very limited context. The official title is One Night Stand: Extreme Rules. There are four “sponsors” for this show: Raw, ECW, Smackdown and Gillette. Big, dare I say it, extreme?

The announcers run off the main event from each show.

Rob Van Dam vs. Randy Orton

This is a stretcher match and Orton still isn’t hearing voices. Orton has been injuring various people recently, including Shawn so this is Rob trying to stand up for him. It’s one of these matches where you have to push them on a stretcher across the finish line. Randy also hit a bunch of RKOs on RVD. The recap is done during Orton’s entrance which is always a bit odd.

Orton really does tower over RVD here. They stare each other down to start but RVD tricks him by hitting a kick to the face as he’s doing the finger point. Into the corner for some punching as Rob controls early. Monkey flip sends Orton to the floor. Slingshot legdrop to Orton on the apron has Orton reeling. Another spin kick in the corner sets up a knee and about the 9^th kick in about three minutes.

Orton gets a single kick in and a forearm but it has a much bigger impact because of the head injuries from the attacks on Raw. RKO is countered via a kick to the head but he gets shoved off the top and his eyes are gone. They go out by the stretcher with Orton in control but we’re not ready for that yet I guess. Dropkick takes Rob down. Here’s the Orton Stomp and the final kick to the head has Van Dam in big trouble.

Knee drop hits the chest and the eyes on Rob are great. Not quite onto the stretcher which there seems to be more than one of. The referee checks on Rob as Orton gets a pretty sweet powerbomb into a neckbreaker. Rob is rolled onto a stretcher but it falls over and we’re out on the floor. He fights back and sends Orton into the post to give himself a breather.

Rob manages to get Orton onto the stretcher but instead of pushing him up the aisle he hits a pretty sweet spinning legdrop onto Orton’s back to take over again. Back in the ring and a slingshot legdrop hits. Rolling Thunder is countered into a powerslam in a slick spot. Orton tries a suplex to the floor but Rob fights back with a dropkick to send him to the floor. The guy with a lot of initials puts Orton on the stretcher again but a front flip over the ropes eats half stretcher and half floor to put both guys down.

Orton puts him on the stretcher but can’t quite get him over due to falling down, allowing Rob to get up. Rob is able to get some quick kicks in and puts him on the stretcher and casually push him across the line for the win. That was a rather odd ending as it was like they were told they were doing it backwards and Rob was supposed to win.

Rating: C. Not much here but with a stretcher match there’s only so much that they can do. Not a horrible match or anything but at the same time the ending came off as rather weird. Anyway it’s not that it matters because this was Rob’s last appearance in WWE other than a pair of one off appearances to beat Santino and be in the Rumble one year. Anyway, not bad but just kind of there.

Post match Orton punts him and gets an elevated DDT off the railing to more or less kill him.

Vince is talking to Shane about polishing up the ECW Title and how tonight they end Lashley. However he does have a premonition that something bad is going to happen to him. His car would be blown up 8 days later.

We talk about some car racing show that Cena is going to be on.

Sandman/Tommy Dreamer/CM Punk vs. Elijah Burke/Marcus Cor Von/Matt Striker

Tables match. Basically this whole feud was about Punk as he joined the New Breed and then jumped to the ECW Originals despite not being an ECW Original. Burke is D’Angelo Dinero of course. We have to tag here and it’s Cor Von vs. Dreamer to start. Basic power moves have Dreamer in trouble and it’s off to Burke. Off to Sandman who hits a flapjack on the hometown guy.

Striker comes in and thank goodness they made him an announcer instead because he just isn’t that good in the ring. Punk comes in and hammers away on him because dude, he’s Matt Striker. Dreamer and Punk say GET THE TABLES but Cor Von makes a save. Punk is like screw that and hits a suicide dive to take Cor Von down. Springboard clothesline takes Burke down as everything breaks down. Striker runs from Sandman but gets drilled by Dreamer.

Table is set up but Burke and Cor Von make the save just in time. Nice guys there as they let their partner take a double suplex on the floor. Striker manages to take down Sandman and Burke takes down Punk to give the New Breed the advantage. The Originals realize this is stupid and pound them down but it’s Striker of all people who takes out Sandman again. Punk takes the Alpha Bomb but Dreamer saves him from going through the table. Striker goes up and Punk superplexes him through Burke through the table to end it.

Rating: C-. Match was just kind of there but it blew off the Originals vs. New Breed feud which meant that the New Breed was done. I don’t think anyone really missed them so it’s not like it mattered, but at least it’s done now. Punk was designed to be the star here and that’s who it should have been all along. At least it was short I guess.

The Draft is on June 11.

Edge is getting ready and Orton comes in. He says this is good stuff because they’re both his former partners. He doesn’t want anything but he’ll be coming for the title if he gets switched at the Draft. He wouldn’t so it doesn’t really matter.

RVD has another concussion apparently.

Raw Tag Titles: Hardys vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

This should be awesome. Hardys are champions coming in. Big brawl to start but that’s the point of this match I suppose. Haas takes down both Hardys with a double clothesline and here come the ladders. All four have ladders so the Hardys throw theirs at their opponents’ and put a pair in corners. Haas gets buried under a pair of ladders in the corner and Shelton is pushed on top of them.

The Hardys start being the Hardys in a ladder match and dominate quickly but make a mental mistake (the Hardys? Nah) and both go up at once, only for Shelton to toss a ladder at them and take over. They work on Jeff’s leg and send him into a ladder in the corner so softly that the fans boo it. When do you EVER hear of a spot being booed in a ladder match? Haas and Benjamin both go up but they have the same issue the Hardys had and we all come down again.

Shelton dropkicks a ladder into Matt’s face and the World’s Greatest Tag Team takes over all over again. They set up a pair of ladders in a sea-saw pattern and according to rule 2 of ladder matches, they both get slammed onto it. Here come the Hardys again and a double clothesline takes everyone not named Shelton to the floor. The Hardys bring in the huge ladders and set one between the ring and the railing.

Shelton blocks a suplex through said ladder though, until Matt backdrops Shelton onto a ladder which he just bounces off. The ladder is bent and Jeff isn’t happy. He thinks to himself by George (and bonds. Pills. Maybe some cocaine too. My band’s album because no one else will) I want him to go through that ladder but Haas makes a last second save.

Matt takes Charlie down and goes up himself, only to get shoved onto the top rope. You know the move Haas and Benjamin do where Haas holds a guy up on the top and Shelton jumps on his back? Well here they use a ladder instead of a rope and Shelton jumps to the floor onto Matt’s back and more or less destroys it in an awesome looking spot. Charlie goes up but here’s your friendly resident drug addict (Jeff in case you thought Matt got up that fast) for a superplex off the ladder to the mat.

Everyone is down now and Jeff has a glazed over look in his eye. In other words, everything is normal with him. In one of the best accidental spots I’ve ever seen, Shelton tries to springboard from the apron to the ladder to stop Jeff but slips and flips forward, kicking the ladder over. JR actually does a decent job of making it sound intentional. Matt shoves Shelton off and starts climbing up two ladders at once. Everyone goes up and it’s a four way fight. The Hardys go down but maintain enough composure to shove their opponents off. Swanton kills Haas and Matt gets the belts to retain.

Rating: B+. Pretty good tag team ladder match here as they let all four guys go in there and just do their thing which is the right idea more often than not. Also they had time (seventeen minutes) here which helped a lot as well. Very hard hitting match here as they managed to make the older spots look good again. Rather good match and not much to complain about at all here.

Runjin Singh is with Khali who says he’s going to win. Oh man this is the night after the SNME where Khali crushed Cena clean in like 3 minutes. I have rarely seen anything stupider than that in wrestling and they managed to do it.

Mark Henry vs. Kane

Lumberjacks here. Oh joy. They actually introduce the lumberjacks to waste even more time. There are some actually decent named guys here like Benoit and uh……Benoit is in this. Other than that there are guys like Miz and Morrison who mean nothing at this point. Santino is the IC Champion here and isn’t a comedy guy yet. Apparently Kane lost a match via countout to Henry to set this up.

Henry throws him out almost immediately and Kane glares at the lumberjacks before getting back in on his own. Kane kicks him to the floor and Henry shoves all of the lumberjacks off with relative ease. They slug it out and Henry hides on the floor again. Out to the floor and Henry rams him into the post like he did on Friday apparently. Back in the ring and Henry works on the back, for once in his life showing some intelligence.

JBL suggests Henry belongs in the Hall of Fame. Sadly enough, that’s not out of the realm of possibility is it? Kane gets a shot in but charges into a powerslam for two. More power moves set up the bear hug to waste some time and let Henry have a breath of air. Kane gets a shot in but can’t hit the chokeslam so it’s right back to the beating. The fans think Henry sucks and I can’t say I disagree with them.

Back to the bearhug as the lumberjacks cheer for Kane. So the fans and other guys, both faces and heels it seem, don’t like Henry. That says nothing of note as everyone can’t stand him and no one ever has that I can remember. Kane sends him to the floor and goes up, diving on Henry and a bunch of lumberjacks at the same time. The big man can fly at least. Not a lot of big men would ever do that so points for that.

Back in the ring and Kane hammers away which doesn’t get him very far. Kane goes up again and the clothesline takes Henry down for no cover. Chokeslam actually connects but Kenny Dykstra and Chavo come in for not the DQ. That doesn’t get them anywhere but it gets us right back into the bearhug incase the first two of them didn’t get you fired up enough. Even with an arm between Henry’s, Kane actually “blacks out” in the hold and we’re done. Yes, that’s the ending they gave this.

Rating: D. Weak match beyond belief as since it was an even numbered year, Henry was pushed. No idea what Vince sees in this guy other than a massive contract so let’s keep pushing him. Either way, weak match here with a REALLY bad ending. Also, the lumberjack stipulation continues to be one of the weakest rules you can add onto any match with this being no exception.

The Hardys and World’s Greatest Tag Team are with the medical people and get into it again.

We recap Vince vs. Lashley. Vince won the ECW Title at Backlash in retaliation for getting his head shaved due to Lashley beating Umaga at Mania. Lashley got screwed out of the title at Judgment Day because Vince hadn’t held the title long enough to ruin the legacy of it enough yet.

ECW Title: Vince McMahon vs. Bobby Lashley

Umaga and Shane are with Vince here. Since he’s in it, this is a street fight. Lashley tries to dive on Umaga to start but messes up completely, landing only a kick to the head of the now dead Samoan. Shane tries to punch him and that just fails, leaving Vince all alone with Lashley. Joey tries to make it sound like Lashley is standing up for ECW, even though Heyman probably gets physically ill at the thought of Lashley working for ECW.

He fights off the trio as well as he can at first but the numbers catch up with him when he tries to bring in a chair. Vince gives his first offense, a clothesline, to take Bobby down. Vince’s hair is back now so at least the bandana is gone now. Out to the floor as this is a very slow beatdown which is going nowhere at all. Vince gets the timekeeper hammer and chokes Bobby with it instead of, you know, HITTING HIM WITH IT?

Back in the ring and a Samoan Drop takes Lashley down again. So riveting indeed here. Maybe it’s because Vince and Shane aren’t wrestlers and therefore shouldn’t be in the ring with a guy like Lashley? Vince gets one of the worst spears I’ve ever seen to Lashley for two. Umaga chokes away to waste more time but misses a splash, crushing Vince instead.

Lashley starts cleaning house, sending Umaga to the floor via a low bridge and suplexing Umaga over the top. Big chair shot to the head of Vince and many more to the back follow. Dominator powerslam only gets two as Umaga makes the save. Bobby gets another chair but Umaga gets a superkick in to take him down again. There goes the crowd as that totally and completely should have been the ending.

Instead, the McMahons and the Samoan take over again because that way they look like supervillains again. Shane drops the big elbow through the table (OH YEAH!) and everyone is down. Umaga wakes Vince up and gets a long two on him. Joey freaks out but it just feels wrong here. Umaga hits the running smash in the corner and Lashley is done. Shane tries the Van Terminator but drills Umaga by mistake. Spear to Vince gives Lashley his title back.

Rating: D+. Match more or less sucked because Vince and company dominated for the vast majority of it. They proved why Vince being in a mach did nothing but they were trying to give Lashley a rub I guess. Either way, there really was no point in waiting for this show to do the title change again, but either way not much here and WAY too long. The first comeback should have been it.

Lashley spears Vince again post match just because. He would be stripped of the title in like two weeks anyway when he was drafted to Raw, more or less rendering the ECW Title a midcard title.

Santino and Maria are asked about how pudding matches go. Maria goes all smart again and it’s supposed to be funny but it really isn’t.

Candace Michelle vs. Melina

Yes, they’re in pudding and no, that doesn’t add anything to this. Candace just doesn’t look all that good. She never has and that’s all there is to it. Melina is Women’s Champion but it’s non-title. She has goggles on here and there they go. This is so freaking stupid. They roll out of the big pool and apparently you win by pin or submission. You can’t tell them apart either so this is rather pointless. Anyway, Candace wins by submission in like two and a half minutes. I flat out do not care because this isn’t wrestling, at least not the kind I want to see.

The cage is lowered.

We recap Edge vs. Batista. Edge more or less stole Mr. Kennedy’s MITB when Kennedy got injured and then cashed in on an injured Taker after Taker had a cage match with Batista and then Henry returned to beat Taker up. Batista won some match/competition to get the shot. This gets the music video treatment for the night.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Batista

Win by pin, submission or escaping the cage. It’s in a cage in case you’re rather stupid or have a very short attention span. Batista has a bad hamstring to fill some injury quota for faces I guess. Edge tries for the door almost immediately but it’s locked still and Big Dave catches him. He keeps trying to run and Batista is like dude, just take it like a man. Basic power stuff to start us off as you would have expected.

Edge gets in a shot but still can’t escape over the top as Batista drills him with a clothesline for two. Batista climbs the ropes (not in the corner) and Edge gets a dropkick to the leg to bring him down and take over. Big Dave gets rammed into the cage a few times back first which get two for Edge. Back to the leg as Batista is in trouble now. Not enough trouble for Edge to retain but he was trying at least.

The Canadian lunges for the door but only gets his hands out. A turnbuckle gets torn off but Edge can’t put him into it. Powerslam is countered into an Edge-O-Matic so he goes up top again. More brawling on top sets up a superplex by Batista for two. They’re kind of going through the motions here but it’s not bad. Right back to the top and down goes Edge so the musclehead tries for a shoulder block off the top, only to get caught by a dropkick. Is anyone in wrestling built and smart?

Edge tries a spear but Batista tries one at the same time I guess and they collide. Batista takes over again and gets a side slam for a close two. Edge misses a missile dropkick but walks into a slingshot into the cage for two. Batista gets sent into the buckle that was exposed and gets taken down by a spear for two. There is more or less no transition here at all and the flow is all off.

Spinebuster gets two for Batista so he loads up the Batista Bomb. Edge manages to move backwards towards the cage and climb to the top. Batista gets caught by a low blow and crotched on the top rope. The Canadian climbs up while Batista goes for the door and in short, Edge wins. There’s not much else to it than that really.

Rating: B-. The best thing I can think of to say here is that they were going through the motions. It’s certainly not a bad match but at the same time it felt like there was nothing going on for the most part. There was some drama in there and there was nothing wrong with it from a technical standpoint at all, but I never could get into it. Not a bad match at all, but nothing great and more or less just going out there and having a cage match. Could be the lack of any real story.

Batista is all ticked off. Not to worry though, as Edge would get hurt in less than a month and have to forfeit the title. Khali would win it in a battle royal and Batista would get it soon after.

Summerslam, the Biggest Party of the Summer, is going to be crashed. This was going to be the Jackass guys but THANKFULLY this fell through.

We recap Khali vs. Cena. Cena beat him at Judgment Day via submission but Khali’s foot was under the ropes. Khali said he knew when he tapped, even though he didn’t continue the match. Both guys wanted a rematch in a falls count anywhere match. Last night on SNME, Khali pinned him clean in less than six and a half minutes, because WWE is really stupid.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Great Khali

Falls Count Anywhere here. Very pro-Cena crowd here. Cena fires off some kicks to the leg but finally gets caught and the power gets going. This is pin only which is kind of weird. Khali uses his basic offense and that’s not meant as a criticism. I mean, he’s Great Khali and a giant. There’s no reason to not have him just do basic stuff to win is there? Big boot puts Cena down again as we haven’t left the ring yet.

Cena tries to speed things up again but Khali raises his leg like a leg lariat to take him down one more time. One arm slam and Khali walks around a bit. Cena avoids a leg drop and manages to get the Throwback out of nowhere. The top rope Fameasser is blocked by the chop though and Cena falls to the floor. That gets two in the first cover of the match. Cena gets in some punches but a low dropkick misses and it’s back to Khali.

In something you won’t often see, Cena’s head goes through a monitor but avoids the big chop. He does however get thrown into the crowd as the beating continues. Out near the production area Cena gets a monitor shot to the head but can’t FU Khali. The big dude gets a bunch of forearm shots to the back as Cena stumbles around a lot. Khali misses a charge and Cena throws a boom camera at him for a two count.

Cena actually gets him up for the FU but the elbows to the head slow it down almost immediately. And hey here’s a crane for no apparent reason. Khali throws him onto the thing and tries the Punjabi Plunge. Cena manages to rake the eyes though and there’s the FU on a crane. FLY FAT BOY FLY as Khali goes to the ground and the pin follows, keeping the title on Cena.

Rating: C+. All things considered, this was rather solid. Keeping Khali out of the ring and just letting him pound on people is always the best thing you can do and this was no exception. They had about as basic of a match as you can ask for here and that’s probably a good thing. Khali as the monster isn’t terrible at times and this was one of them. all this one a pleasant surprise.

Overall Rating: C. Best place to put this one is right in the middle. Every match is either rated as a C or is a step above, canceled out by a step below. This PPV is firmly in the middle of the pack as the tag title match is good, the cage match is ok and the main event is ok, but some of the stuff is pretty bad. If for some reason you ever come across this it would fill in about three hours but there’s nothing you would miss at all. Not bad, but nothing required to see at all.
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Judgment Day 2007
Date: May 20, 2007
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 10,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Taz, Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

This is during the time where they really didn’t know a lot about what they were doing. Cena is in the middle of his one year title reign and the main event is him vs. Khali who is undefeated at this point. Other than that the show is packed as we’re in the tri-branded shows again. We also have Team McMahon (Vince/Shane/Umaga) vs. Lashley for the ECW Title and Edge vs. Batista for the Smackdown title. Let’s get to it.

The video is about those three matches and how we don’t know what happens to us after we die. Ozzy Osbourne does the theme music here so I can’t complain much.

We have six commentators. Good freaking grief.

Ric Flair vs. Carlito

I think I vaguely remember Flair tutoring Carlito so I’d assume this is the blowoff for it. Flair chops and hammers away so hair boy hits the floor. Carlito gets a shot in to the arm to introduce some psychology. We enter into some arm work as Carlito amazes me with how lazy he got. Not in this match but in general. The fans get behind Flair of course in a wrestling town like this one.

Flair’s arm goes around the post as Naitch is in trouble. Carlito keeps mixing things up on the arm which is such a nice perk. It gets painfully boring to see someone use the same move over and over again. Putting an armbar on is fine but do other stuff too. More arm stuff follows as we’ve been doing for about five minutes now. Dropkick gets two.

Flair comes back with one arm chops but gets caught in a backdrop for two. Back to the armbar but Flair comes back with one arm. Good selling here by Flair. Backstabber doesn’t work and it’s time to go after the leg. This doesn’t take long as the Figure Four goes on and we’re done in just a few seconds.

Rating: B-. I rather liked this actually with Flair selling the arm well. The flaw to it was that once Flair woke up the arm didn’t really play much of a role in this as Flair does most of his stuff with one arm anyway. Still though, not bad as Flair teaches the brash young punk a lesson and wins clean. I do kind of question him winning here though but oh well.

We recap Shawn’s head injury which is a result of Khali chokebombing him through a table. With a concussion Shawn managed to beat Edge on Raw but Orton popped up post match to punt him, meaning his head is even worse.

Shawn tries to talk but gets jumped by Orton and sent into the set, messing him up again. They have a scheduled match later tonight.

We recap Team McMahon vs. Lashley which is fallout from Mania and Vince’s haircut. Vince won the ECW Title at Backlash, ticking off every ECW fanboy on the planet. He was still bald at this point so he has a bandana on. You can’t say they’re not pushing Lashley at this point. Basically it’s a handicap feud to make Lashley look like a monster.

ECW Title: Team McMahon vs. Bobby Lashley

It’s Umaga, Vince and Shane if you forgot. Lashley had a legit injury at Backlash so he’s rather limited in what he can do. He wouldn’t be able to take time off until July though, which was his last match for the company. The belt looks like a toy at this point. They would trade it in for the big one they finished the brand with soon. Lashley has generic rock theme 19 here.

Lashley cleans house to start, getting a BIG pop when he gets his hands on Vince. Almost no reaction at all for the other two. We finally get down to Shane vs. Lashley which goes badly for the boy wonder. Umaga misses a corner splash as it hits Shane, allowing a powerslam to pin Shane to give Lashley his second ECW Title in about 75 seconds.

And never mind as Vince says it doesn’t count as he didn’t pin Vince. Umaga beats Lashley down post match. Lashley would get it back for real next month before having to drop it due to being drafted to Raw. Then it would be put up in a mini-tournament which was supposed to be won by Benoit. I think you guys know the story there.

Shawn is checked out by a trainer and is told he can’t compete.

CM Punk vs. Elijah Burke

Burke is more known as the Pope now. Punk has heavily taped ribs and IT’S CLOBBERING TIME!!! Burke wanted Punk in the ECW New Breed but Punk said no, so here’s a match. Basically Elijah is just a loudmouth at this point and is overly cocky. He’s a rare example of TNA taking a guy and doing FAR better with him than WWE did. The fans are behind Punk here.

Nothing of note to start other than some striking and Punk throwing on a chinlock. That makes sense here as he’s trying to conserve wind due to the ribs being injured. Punk keeps firing off kicks and adds a suplex for two. British Bulldog suplex gets two and we hit the chinlock, both by Punk if that wasn’t clear. That doesn’t last long as Punk hits a springboard reverse cross body for two.

Burke finally gets to the ribs and Punk can’t get the knee in the corner. Punk is noving very gingerly because of the ribs. GTS can’t hit so he settles for a springboard dropkick to send Burke to the floor. This has been almost all Punk for the first 8 minutes and he adds a suicide dive to the floor to continue his advantage. Burke manages to pull him off the top in almost a powerbomb style move and it’s time to work on the bad ribs.

Off to the body scissors and the fans chant for JBL for absolutely no reason at all. See, in contrast to the opener with Carlito doing a bunch of different stuff to Flair’s arm, Burke is using the same body scissors the entire time. There are TONS of moves and holds to use on the ribs but he uses the same one. Big difference and it made me enjoy the Carlito stuff more.

Punk gets out of it and they head to the corner. Superplex by Punk has both guys in EXTREME (it’s an ECW match so you have to capitalize that word) agony. Punk is up first and starts firing off strikes. Enziguri gets two. Knee in the corner hits this time but he can’t get the bulldog. Elijah Express (double knee in the corner) misses as does the GTS and an STO gets two for Burke. Double knees his this time and Punk is caught in the Tree of Woe for a bit before the cover only gets two. Punk reverses another STO and the GTS hits for the pin. We even get a faster count as per ECW tradition.

Rating: B. Good match here as they had a lot of time and it paid off in the end. Burke isn’t a guy that I was ever a fan of in WWE but this was a very good outing from him. Then again being in there with him probably didn’t hurt things at all. Punk would of course become a far bigger deal than Burke in WWE but that was to be expected.

Edge brags about beating Undertaker and how it’s his world title, not Batista’s. Interesting that all three are more or less retired at this point.

Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn has the head injury remember. Randy gets a face pop and isn’t hearing voices yet. Orton wants the forfeit win but here’s Shawn. Uh…maybe just his music. Oh there he is, barely able to stand up straight. He doesn’t do his pyro and can barely keep his eyes open. Dude, what did I tell you about chilling with the Hardys? The referee tries to talk him out of it and Shawn says ring the bell.

Orton drills him in the head as it rings and Shawn is in big trouble early. Oh we’re in St. Louis. That’s why he got the face pop. Elevated DDT gets two more than once. Shawn is gone and Orton keeps stomping. He sets for the RKO and Shawn just falls. He’s had no offense at all. Orton tries a super RKO but Shawn knocks him off and manages to drop an elbow somehow. He can’t even cover though so he sets for the kick. Shawn sets for it and just falls down and the referee stops it.

Rating: N/A. This ran about four minutes but you can’t call this a match as it wasn’t. This was an angle which was used to advance Orton. Soon he would completely dominate the upper midcard to become the mega challenger to Cena, ultimately taking the title when Cena was hurt in the fall.

RKO to Shawn post match draws his wife out to check on him. He leaves on a stretcher.

Khali yells in Hindi. He has the title belt despite not being champion. Not a good example for a cop.

Raw Tag Titles: Hardys vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

No longer the Hardy Boys I guess. To give the Smackdown guys something to do they’re calling it. No real reason for this other than face tag team vs. heel tag team. Matt vs. Cade to start us off. Technical stuff so far as Matt takes over for the most part. Apparently Matt is a Smackdown guy despite being a Raw champion. Cade tries a wristlock and Matt BLASTS him with a forearm to counter. That looked great and sounded even better.

Off to Jeff to a BIG pop. Murdoch comes in also and there isn’t exactly a pop but maybe it’s implied? You can tell they’re in a long form match here as the faces have an extended control period to start. Matt gets a double axe off the middle rope for two. Cade comes in and takes over with Murdoch helping also.

And never mind as Jeff comes in for another pop. Slingshot dropkick gets two in the corner on Murdoch. Cade tries to leave and that gets us nowhere. Back to Jeff vs. Murdoch again and Jeff tries a front flip over the ropes. Murdoch steps to the side and Jeff CRASHES with a loud thud. Cade takes over again as Jeff sells like the master that he is. I mean at Victory Road he even managed to sell that he was a competent professional.

Off to the chinlock and Jeff gets beaten up even more. This is more of an extended Raw match which isn’t a bad thing here but just a bit different. Canadian Destroyer/Sunset Bomb by Murdoch gets two as Matt saves. Double tag and it’s off to Cade vs. Matt. After most of the house is cleaned, Cade takes Matt down for a bit. I guess he didn’t get to dust the top shelves. Not that it matters as the Twist of Fate and Swanton keep the belts in North Carolina.

Rating: B-. Not a terrible match here at all as you had an extended Raw match but the fans were certainly into it. Extended Raw matches are fine like here as you had two pretty good teams and therefore you got a good match out of it. What more can you really ask for here anyway? The country boys would get the titles in about two weeks.

They shake hands post match. Odd indeed.

Edge has a video for us, which is about him stealing the world title from the injured Undertaker after stealing MITB from the injured Kennedy. This was a big part of the Ultimate Opportunist thing. This is your hype video for Batista vs. Edge in case you weren’t clear on that.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Batista

Edge got the title from Taker 9 days before this. Oddly enough he comes out first here. Batista has a bandaged leg from….I think a match with Taker who he was feuding with for a long time. The idea here is Edge did in three seconds what Taker couldn’t do in two months. The thing is it was just after a cage match with Batista and Henry coming out for a beatdown.

Edge backs off a lot to start. All Big Dave as he sends Edge to the floor but he gets his knee slammed into the steps and the Canadian takes over. Back in Batista goes shoulder first into the post as the psychology shifts a bit. A long armbar is actually countered by an arm drag and Batista gets him into the corner for the shoulders. Clothesline puts both guys down.

Powerslam gets two for Batista. Boss Man Slam (why does no one piuck that up as a finisher? Barrett uses it as a regular move but it’s a great finisher for a power guy) gets two as does an Edge-O-Matic for the champ. Edge sets for a spear but Batista gets a BIT one instead for two. Another powerslam and it’s Batista Bomb time. Edge counters but gets caught in a spinebuster. It hurts the knee though and Edge grabs a rollup for the pin to retain.

Rating: C. The ending isn’t a cop out as it seems. This was more about Edge getting dominated in the end but catching Batista in one error to retain, playing up the opportunist aspect of him. Anyway, not much of a match here as it felt like a SNME match, which is ok but it gets a bit dull at times. Edge would get hurt in like two months and Khali would get the title in a battle royal.

The Divas are asked who wins in Cena vs. Khali. Jillian thinks Khali is hot. Maria picks Batista. This is totally pointless.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. MVP

MVP is challenging here and it’s 2/3 falls. They had a decent match at Mania and this is the rematch. Amazing to think this was two months before the Benoit stuff happened. This is the third match in their series. Apparently Benoit has a bad leg which is a running theme tonight. They feel each other out for a good while as Cole isn’t sure if DQs or countouts count.

All Benoit to start but he can’t get the Crossface. MVP grabs a headlock which gets him nowhere at all. Benoit hammers away and they hit the mat. The idea here was that in the first match Benoit completely outwrestled him then at Backlash Benoit had more trouble with him and now he’s having real trouble with him. MVP works on the leg for a good while.

Rolling Germans time but the knee gives out on the final one. Crossface goes on but he manages to get to the rope. Back to the knee but a big boot in the corner misses. Sharpshooter goes on but that doesn’t work either. Good stuff here for the most part but the whole work on a limb thing is getting a bit repetitive tonight. MVP tries to climb the ropes and Benoit gets him in an electric chair, but the knee goes out and the Playmaker gives MVP the first fall.

There’s a rest period and Benoit stretches his leg a bit. The knee is falling apart and MVP attacks it every chance he gets. Even on a cover MVP twists the leg around in a very nice touch. Leg lock goes on which becomes a Brock Lock and Chris is in trouble. Playmaker doesn’t work a second time as Benoit gets a SWEET counter into the Crossface but he can’t lock it in due to a shot to the knee. A big boot to the knee allows MVP to roll him up to win the title in two straight falls. He would hold it nearly a year.

Rating: C+. The knee work was good here but at the same time it got a bit annoying having this in about the fourth or fifth match tonight. Benoit would head to ECW rather soon and I think you know how that ended. Pretty decent match here though as MVP used the previous two matches to get the win here, which is psychology which is the best thing you can ask for.

We recap Cena vs. Khali. Someone laid out Shawn, Edge and Orton in one night to send a message to Cena so he called them out at the end of the night. It was Khali who then beat the tar out of him. Cena managed to get him in the FU position but Khali countered and hit the Chokebomb. The idea is Cena is the underdog here despite being champion. Khali beat Shawn clean to officially become #1 contender.

Raw World Title: Great Khali vs. John Cena

JR: “Cena has to compete tonight like Khali hit Cena’s mama with a 2×4.” WHERE DOES HE COME UP WITH THIS STUFF??? I mean was that something that was a common occurrence in Oklahoma? Is he drawing on personal experience? Could Khali speed it up a bit so that I can stop overreacting already? Khali is undefeated at this point.

Staredown to start and Cena pounds away but it gets him chopped in the head. Clothesline and a right hand sends him to the floor. Khali sends him to the steps and back in the ring puts his foot on the chest for two. Slam and a leg drop (BROTHER) get two. This is all Khali if that wasn’t clear. Cena tries to move a bit and gets the Throwback for two.

Back up and Cena hits the ropes but KHALI HITS A SPIN KICK!!! WHERE IN THE WORLD DID THAT GO AFTER THIS MATCH????? I almost rewound the tape to see if I really saw that but it was there. Out to the floor now and Cena is rammed into the table a few times. Off to a nerve hold which doesn’t last long because it’s just a nerve hold. A pair of shoulders is enough to tie Khali in the ropes for a bit. Cena charges instead of standing there but Khali gets out and hits a big boot to take him down.

Cena blocks the knockout chop but gets sent to the floor. Khali comes after him but Cena finally wakes up and dropkicks the steps into the knees. Top rope Fameasser and Khali is in trouble. STFU goes on and this is all or nothing for Cena. Khali finally taps but his foot was under the rope which is what set up the rematch the next month in a falls count anywhere match.

Rating: C. There was only so much they could do here and for the most part it worked I think. Khali didn’t have to do much out there which is ok also as his size makes up for it. They kept this should (a little over 8 minutes) and that was the best thing they could have done. They weren’t going to get a great match here no matter what but all things considered, this was about as good as they were going to get, especially since it never got totally unrealistic for Cena to come back.

Overall Rating: C+. This was definitely a B level show but it worked pretty well. There isn’t a bad match on the card and while the ratings for each were all pretty good, there’s absolutely nothing worth going out of your way to see. This is a show that you could easily skip and you would have been fine, which is why having another show in two weeks was a stupid idea. Not bad, but definitely not worth seeing.

For some reason wrestling fans expect wrestlers to be able to do everything. I’m not sure where this comes from but I think it has something to do with the theory that wrestling is based around being able to do a lot of moves. This is another of those ideas that needs to be crushed and needs to be crushed quickly. Today I’m going to be talking about wrestlers using the moves that they’re supposed to use and why the amount of moves someone uses is completely irrelevant to their talent level. Let’s get to it.

Back in 1997, Shawn Michaels had a “knee injury” and couldn’t wrestle at Wrestlemania 13, so instead he did commentary on the world title match. That night, Sid defended the world title against the Undertaker. During the match, Sid was in control and Shawn said something like “Sid doesn’t deviate from his game plan that much, because that power takes him everywhere he needs to go.”

That right there is a lesson that a large amount of wrestling fans need to learn. Today, you hear people talking about guys like Punk and Bryan and using the words Best in the World to describe them. Their justification for this seems to be that Punk and Bryan put on long and entertaining matches with a wide variety of moves. These same fans tend to criticize guys like Hogan and Cena for using a much smaller moveset.

Think about it: how many times have you heard someone criticize Cena because “he only knows five moves”? If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it way too many times. This is a stupid thing to say for a number of reasons which we’ll cover today. Not only is this stupid to say about Cena, but it’s a stupid thing to say about anyone.

Let’s take a look at the greatest wrestler of all time: Hulk Hogan. Love him, hate him, whatever you think about him, there is zero denying that since 1980, no one has had a bigger influence on professional wrestling. No one has been a bigger star than Hogan and few have become a bigger household name (which is another article for another time as well). In short, he’s the biggest star ever in wrestling and there isn’t much to argue about that.

Now that being said, I don’t think anyone would call Hogan a ring general, in the sense that he wrestled a lot of matches the exact same way. Hogan had a formula to his matches and he rarely shifted from that formula. There isn’t much denying of that, nor is there really any denying that Hogan used probably less than ten different moves (punch, big boot, legdrop, high knee, choke, back rake, suplex, ax bomber and that’s about all that jumps to mind) in his entire career.

Here’s the big secret though: there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Hogan wrestled a very basic style and found something that worked (aside: how many botches can you think of from Hogan when he was in the red and yellow? I’d be impressed if you could come up with more than five. The guy was a very safe worker which he never gets credit for) so he never really shifted from it.

Why did Hogan never change or mix it up? Well why should he have done so? Hogan got some of the biggest reactions for well over 20 years doing the exact same stuff, and it never stopped working. Hogan got to the top of the wrestling world using the same formula and it never stopped at all. Somehow being the biggest star ever made him into the worst wrestler ever.

Another subject that often gets the same reaction is the current biggest star in the world, John Cena. I’ve never been what you would call a Cena hater. I’ve never come close to one and I likely never will be one. I’m not a huge Cena fan either, but I respect the guy. One of the biggest knocks on Cena is that he doesn’t have as wide ranging of a moveset as Bryan or Punk. This is another criticism that has a true premise (Bryan and Punk likely do have more variety in their offense) but an untrue conclusion (this makes them better wrestlers).

Cena’s offense (which has more than five moves: shoulder block, AA, STF, Shuffle, top rope legdrop, spinout slam. There, idea proven wrong) is one based around firing up the crowd at the right times. Look at his matches with Punk. I don’t think anyone would suggest that they’re boring and I don’t think anyone would suggest they’re bad. Cena and Hogan both are masters at making comebacks and working a crowd, just like guys like Bret and Shawn were.

This is what makes Hogan and Cena great: they know how to work a crowd. Look at the biggest names in the history of wrestling (in no order): Hogan, Cena, Rock, Austin. What do these four have in common? Among many other things, they play to the crowd. That’s what makes them great. They get the fans to care about them and get the crowd to care about them. The true test of the greatness of a wrestler is the amount of a reaction they can draw from an audience.

Think of it like this: when is the last time you remember Cena coming out to no reaction? Ask the same question about Rock, Austin or Hogan. The people respond to them and care about them. How many wrestlers have you seen come out and no one moves? How many times have you seen a tag match with the hot tag without a reaction from the crowd? The match may be fine from a technical standpoint, but no one cares at all. I can’t count how many indy matches I’ve watched with a lot of flips and high flying moves and ten minutes after the match I can’t remember the people in it. That’s not a good sign.

Let’s take a look at another side of this. Another criticism of guys like Cena or Hogan is that they don’t know how to perform moves like Punk and Bryan do. Is this honestly believed? Do you think Cena couldn’t do a hurricanrana if he tried to and practiced it? Let’s take a look at this from the other perspective: what do you think would happen if Punk tried to AA the Big Show? Even with months if not years of physical training, do you think he could pull it off on that frame? Cena uses his physical abilities in the right way. Here’s another example of that which might make a little more sense.

When the names of worst wrestlers in the world are brought up, one that is often mentioned is The Great Khali. Usually when people say this, I roll my eyes because it’s clear these people have little idea what they’re talking about. Khali is legitimately over 7’0 and weighs probably 400lbs or so. He has physical attributes that only a handful of people on the planet have. In other words, almost no one in the wrestling world are built like Khali.

SO WHY WOULD PEOPLE WANT HIM TO WRESTLE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE??? Khali doesn’t run the ropes or use armbars and wristlocks because it would be REALLY stupid for him to do so. He’s a freaking giant, meaning that everything he does is enhanced. Khali using a simple move like a chop isn’t the same as say Michael McGillicutty using a chop. You’re talking about a guy’s arm probably being ten feet off the ground and coming down with 400lbs of weight powering it. His size alone makes it look painful.

No, Khali can’t get down on the mat like a Bret Hart or fly through the air like a Kofi Kingston, but Bret Hart can’t make power moves look as devastating as Khali and Kofi can’t realistically use a chokebomb as a finisher. It would make no sense for them to try because that’s not their natural strength. Complaining because Khali can’t perform basic wrestling moves is ridiculous because he doesn’t need to perform them to be effective.

In short, the idea that a wrestler’s ability is tied to the amount of moves that he uses is ridiculous. To say that for example Daniel Bryan is a better wrestler than Cena because he uses a ton of submissions makes no sense. If that’s what determined who the best wrestlers in the world were, William Regal vs. Dean Malenko would have headlined about seven Wrestlemanias in a row. Wrestling is a performance first, not an athletic event first. It’s about using what works, not using everything there is.

Smackdown
Date: September 4, 2009
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Jim Ross, Todd Grisham

This is on the request list for one reason: Mysterio vs. Morrison. Mysterio had been wellnessed while still being the Intercontinental Champion, so a match was thrown together and was a match of the year candidate. Other than that I have no idea what’s coming here. We’re approaching Breaking Point which means Punk is about to defend the title against Undertaker. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Punk winning a loser leaves the WWE match against Jeff Hardy recently. This transitions into a pretty awesome career highlight reel for Hardy.

In a great opening, CM Punk comes out in a nearly perfect Jeff Hardy outfit to Jeff’s music and nailing Jeff’s mannerisms. The kids in the audience exploded when they heard Hardy’s music but once they figured it out they looked furious. Punk talks about how this is the last time you’ll ever see a trace of the Charismatic Enabler (great nickname) which is a good thing because the people that cheer for him are too weak to have Hardy around. Now they have a champion they can look up to and he’ll never fail a test or miss a show because of an incident.

This brings him around to the Undertaker because Punk is now an icon on Smackdown as well. He’s won back to back Money in the Bank ladder matches as well as sent Jeff Hardy packing. Punk says if Undertaker wants to come out here right now that’s cool with the champ. There’s no Taker so Punk runs down the Dead Man a bit before bashing the fans for being so easily lead to believe anything. At Breaking Point, it’s one on one and Punk has no breaking point, which is why he can’t lose.

Punk says he’s stronger than any alcohol and straighter than any line you can shoot up your nose. He does however have one vice, which we don’t get to hear because here’s Matt Hardy. Matt charges at Punk and the brawl is on quickly. Neither guy really gets an advantage so they break it up.

Taker is back tonight.

Punk yells at Teddy so Teddy makes Matt vs. Punk non-title tonight.

Finlay/Great Khali vs. Mike Knox/Kane

Kane is all psycho and evil here (no really) and has a Singapore Cane match coming up with Khali at the PPV. Finlay and Knox get us started with Finlay being dropped face first on the buckle. Kane misses the clothesline and it’s off to Khali, sending Kane running away. Khali puts the Vice Grip on Knox who bails to the floor. We take a break and come back with Khali clotheslining Kane down and chopping him in the corner.

Back to Finlay vs. Knox with Finlay hitting the running earthquake drop for two. Apparently Finlay is afraid of Knox for some reason. Finlay is sent shoulder first into the post and it’s off to Kane to work over the arm. Knox works on an armbar followed by a crossbody of all things for two. Back to Kane who gets low bridged by Finlay. Khali has to save his brother/manager Runjin Singh and in the distraction, Finlay hits Knox with the shillelagh for the pin.

Rating: D+. This didn’t really work and was longer than it needed to be. Knox vs. Finlay was a feud but it was barely explained here. At least with Kane he’s naturally evil and therefore it’s easy to plug him into a story. Other than that there wasn’t much here and the match wasn’t that interesting as a result.

Vince comes in to see Teddy and it’s a plug for the Rise and Fall of WCW DVD. Vince talks about the title match between Punk and Taker and his jacket a bit. Not sure what the point of this was but that’s the case with most Vince segments.

Eve and Maria are in the back. Eve wants to beat up Natalya and Maria is overly perky. Michelle McCool comes in on crutches and makes fun of them, saying that Ziggler is going to dump Maria. Melina comes in and it’s a big argument that goes nowhere.

Intercontinental Title: John Morrison vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is defending. They shake hands and we’re ready to go. Both guys try fast rollups but it’s a standoff. They go to a test of strength grip and Mysterio fires some kicks to the legs, only to have Morrison get on top of him for some two counts. A headlock gives Morrison control on the mat as we’re still in the feeling out process so far.

Commentary goes away for a bit and comes back with Morrison rolling up Rey for two. Rey gets his first big move in and hits a rana to send both guys to the floor. They’re going in slow motion so far due to a lack of a reason for them to fight which is the constant problem you can have in a match like this. Back in and Mysterio charges into the corner and his shoulder CRACKS off the post. That sounded great. Or awful. I’m not sure which.

They finally speed things up with Rey snapping off a big headscissors to fire up the crowd and for two. Morrison starts making Mysterio miss him before getting kicked in the face and splashed for two. Rey hooks a chinlock to give both guys a chance to breathe. The fans seem to be far more behind Morrison which is kind of strange. Morrison fights up and hits a front flip into a dropkick for two in a sweet counter.

Standing shooting star gets two for Morrison before things speed up again and Rey is sent flying out to the floor. That gets two back inside as does a spinning legdrop from Morrison. We hit the chinlock again for a bit before Rey hits a pair of rollups for two. Morrison gets out of the 619 and they both try crossbodies at once.

We take a break and come back with both guys still down and Morrison getting two. Morrison puts on a bodyscissors which doesn’t get him anywhere. Rey sends him to the apron and out to the floor followed by another hurricanrana to the outside. A springboard legdrop gets two but the sitout bulldog is countered into a mat slam by Morrison for two. A running knee to the face of Rey gets two as does a spinning cross body from Mysterio.

Mysterio goes up but jumps into a dropkick which gets another near fall. Starship Pain misses and Rey hits the 619 out of nowhere. The springboard splash misses and the Flying Chuck (think Cody’s Disaster Kick) gets a very close two. John goes up and after countering a rana attempt, hits a middle rope Starship Pain for the pin and the title.

Rating: B. I haven’t seen this match before actually and the only thing I can think of to say is that’s it? It was good and the ending had some solid near falls, but if this was a match of the year candidate the this was one of the weakest years ever for wrestling. It was a good match and entertained me, but man this just didn’t fire me up other than once or twice near the end. I don’t get the hype here and I think it’s one of those situations where people confuse length of a match with the quality of the match.

Here comes R-Truth but Drew McIntyre jumps him. McIntyre says that he’s going to keep ruining our parties until he gets the respect he deserves.

Maria/Eve Torres vs. Layla/Natalya

Apparently this is the fallout from a six person tag last night where Eve had Natalya beaten but Tyson Kidd cost her the fall. Nattie and Maria start things off. I don’t know if it’s my thing for redheads or what but Maria has always been gorgeous. Layla distracts Maria and Nattie takes her head off with a clothesline to take over.

Off to Layla who hooks her reverse Tarantula and hits a shot to the back of Maria for two. The evil ones (Layla/Natalya) take turns beating up Maria until it’s finally off to Eve. She comes in and fires off some kicks before getting kicked in the face by Layla for two. Everything breaks down and eve hits a cartwheel into a moonsault to Layla for the pin.

Rating: C-. I say this a lot but it’s amazing how much more interesting the girls used to be like a year ago. I can’t quite put my finger on it but they come off as much stronger and more serious characters here instead of the girls today where they come off as cute and perky. The older ones come off as serious and tougher and more like wrestlers than Divas, which is a good thing.

Matt Hardy says he’s out for revenge tonight, rather than the world title or his soul.

CM Punk vs. Matt Hardy

Non-title here. Matt goes right after him and Punk bails to the floor almost immediately. Back in and Punk gets rammed into the buckle a few times and clotheslined down for no cover. This is Matt’s return match from an injury apparently. Punk gets the not too bright Matt to chase him around the ring and the champ gets in some shots, only to get caught in a swinging neckbreaker for no cover again. That makes sense as Matt is here for revenge, not a quick win.

The Side Effect is countered and Punk goes up, only to get superplexed back down. This has been almost all Matt so far. Punk drapes Matt over the top rope and knocks him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Matt caught in an abdominal stretch and Punk firing off kicks to the bad ribs. Off to a body vice followed by a whip into the corner for two. Punk fires off his strikes and the champ is in full control.

Matt tries to fight back but gets rammed into the buckle to slow him right back down again. Back to the abdominal stretch which is Punk trying to prove that he’s a master of submissions. Matt counters with a kind of Samoan Drop for two and avoids a charge, sending Punk’s shoulder into the post. A bulldog gets two for Matt as does a middle rope legdrop to the back of the head.

Twist of Fate is countered but Matt gets two off a small package instead. The high kick gets two for the champ and Punk is frustrated. Punk tries a springboard clothesline but gets caught in a Side Effect for two. They head to the floor and Matt jumps into a kick to the ribs to put Punk right back in control. Punk grabs a chair to blast Hardy in the ribs and back, which somehow doesn’t draw a DQ. Punk wraps the chair around Matt’s throat…..and the lights go out. The match ends here for all intents and purposes.

Rating: B-. I was getting into this at the end, even though you knew Taker would be involved somehow. To be fair though, the match could have ended before he showed up so it wasn’t a lock that it would end out in a no contest. Matt was game here and the story wrote itself given the issues with Jeff lately. Matt was always on the brink of jumping forward and then always started being crazy again.

Taker chokeslams Punk through the table to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. I was digging this show. We had two good matches, good looking women having a competent match where they looked like they knew what they were doing, a solid promo from the champions, and an entertaining show overall. It’s amazing how much better things are here when they take the show seriously and not as a Raw supplement. Good show and I enjoyed it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: July 13, 2012
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

This is the final show before Money in the Bank and most of the show is set. For the short term, tonight Zach Ryder is in charge after winning a battle royal last week. We have another week or two before we get a permanent GM so putting Ryder out here like this is a good idea as it gives him some TV time to remind people that he’s still alive. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from Z True Long Island Story of Ryder celebrating his win in the battle royal.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is that extra day off after the All Star Game. What was the point of it?

Here’s Ryder to open the show. He welcomes us to Zach-Down and leads us in a huge fist pump.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Sin Cara

Del Rio makes fun of Ryder so Ryder makes this match. Cara avoids a charging Del Rio but gets taken down by a fast knee for two. The stupid lights are off again. Del Rio takes him down before bending Cara over the middle rope for some choking. Cara avoids a charge in the corner and fires off some kicks. A DDT gets two on Alberto but he comes back with a chop to put Cara down.

Now Del Rio misses a charge of his own and Cara kicks him to the floor. A suicide dive sends Del Rio into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Cara hitting a running kick to the chest for two. Del Rio shrugs that off and grabs the arm as is his custom. He hooks an armbar and cranks on it for a good while. Del Rio misses a charge in the corner (a theme in this match) and Cara snaps off a rana to take over. A spinning DDT gets two for Cara but a Swanton misses. Cross Armbreaker finishes this at 6:40 shown of 10:10.

Rating: C+. This was a better match than I was expecting and Cara looked pretty good in it, but the big issue: why does Cara need to be in here? He’s in the MITB match on Sunday and therefore may be a world title contender in the very near future, but he has to job here. Why? Was there NO ONE else on the roster that Del Rio could have made to tap here? I know I say this a lot but WWE keeps doing it.

We get a quick Tout video from Cena, talking about his favorite Raw moment, which is the night when he was drafter to Raw. This is followed by some fans’ videos. This is going to get old REALLY fast. All of these favorite moments are from the last two years.

Big Show complains to Ryder about how the show is being run. He threatens to knock Ryder out but Khali stops it. Ryder makes a match between the two of them tonight. Khali does Woo Woo Woo.

Primo vs. Darren Young

Young pounds him down to start but Primo comes back with some punches. The running hip attack hits Young while he’s in 619 position but Primo walks into a hot shot. AW is on a mic all of a sudden and says this beatdown is courtesy of All World Enterprises. Young chops away and drops a leg on Primo while he’s on the apron. Back in there’s a regular legdrop and an elbow gets two. AW is playing this role perfectly. Off to a cravate to kill some time but Primo makes a comeback. Young knocks him right back down but he wastes too much time, getting small packaged and pinned clean at 4:08.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here, but AGAIN, what is the point in having one of your #1 contenders lose here? Young isn’t great on his own, but why did he need to lose here? What does this gain? If my memory is right, the match on the preshow is non-title, so you don’t need to keep the Colons strong. Also why isn’t the tag title match happening there? This makes next to no sense on all fronts.

Did you know: Raw has aired 300 more episodes than Monday Night Football. Yes WWE, it means something that when you air 50 episodes a year, you can beat a show that airs 17 a year. Good job.

Another Raw moment is Edge retiring.

Ryder and Sheamus are doing nothing in the back so Jericho comes up and runs his mouth. Ryder makes them the main event.

Christian/Santino Marella vs. Cody Rhodes/Dolph Ziggler

Christian and Cody start us off and the Canadian is taken down by a shoulder block. Christian comes back and brings in Santino, causing Cody to runs away. Off to Ziggler whose hair is slicked back enough that you could barely tell it was there from behind. Ziggler takes him to the mat and we have no commentary. Santino cranks on the arm and I’d assume the audio being gone is a production thing that will be fixed during the broadcast.

Santino works on the arm and brings in Christian, but it’s back to Cody who takes over. Ziggler comes in and we hit the chinlock for a bit. Back to Cody whose Alabama Slam is countered and Christian hits a flapjack to take over. Hot tag brings in Santino and he cleans house, but Cody breaks up the Cobra. Cody and Christian brawl up the ramp, allowing the Zig Zag to hit Santino for the pin at 4:32.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here and while it’s annoying to have another big name and in this case a champion get beaten here, at least it was by someone that would be in the same match as them on Sunday. Santino is there for comedy anyway so it’s not that big of a deal. Ziggler and Cody are the favorites for the match too so if one of them win, that makes it a bit better.

Raw ReBound is the ending to the show with the tag match and AJ slapping both Bryan and Punk.

Great Khali vs. Big Show

Commentary is back now. They circle each other for a bit and the WMD gets the pin in 33 seconds. I’m so glad they did this aren’t you? One good thing though: Khali has nothing to lose here so the win means something (I guess) and Show looks dominant going into Sunday. Why can’t that be the case in every match?

Ryback vs. Tyler Reks

Makes sense after Hawkins getting beat last week. Ryback throws him around to start and sends Reks to the floor, only to get stunned coming back into the ring. That’s the extent of Reks’ offense here though, as Ryback suplexes him down. Reks gets a right hand to Ryback’s ribs but gets clotheslined right down. Shell Shock gets the pin at 1:50. Handicap match next week?

Hugh Jackman was on Raw once.

Rock will be on the 1000th Raw.

Some fans Tout their favorite Raw moments. They’re all from the Attitude Era other than one from 2007. Again, why am I supposed to care about this stuff?

Justin Gabriel vs. Damien Sandow

Sandow takes him down quickly and hooks a chinlock. Justin makes a short comeback with some strikes but he walks into some knees to the face and the double arm neckbreaker gets the pin at 1:30. Total squash.

We recap the reveal of the Anonymous Raw GM because once just wasn’t enough I guess.

We run down the card for Sunday, all four matches of it.

Sheamus vs. Chris Jericho

Non-title here. Sheamus shoves him into the corner and Jericho slaps him. Sheamus pounds him into another corner and Jericho bails to the floor. Back inside and Jericho gets drilled down again. Jericho gets a boot up and hits a middle rope missile dropkick for two. Sheamus is having none of that and hits the ten forearms before knocking Jericho off the apron and onto the announce table.

We take a break and come back with Jericho kicking Sheamus in the chest. Jericho hooks a chinlock but Sheamus gets up and avoids a charge, sending Jericho’s shoulder into the post. Irish Curse gets two as does the Regal Roll. Jericho tries a quick Codebreaker but Sheamus counters. Brogue Kick gets Sheamus caught in the ropes and Jericho hits the springboard dropkick for two.

Sheamus knocks him down again and loads up the High Cross but Jericho counters into the Walls. Sheamus makes a rope but gets put right back into the hold. Jericho pulls him back into the middle of the ring but Sheamus escapes and White Noise gets two. Brogue Kick misses and the Codebreaker gets two. Sheamus kicks Jericho away and pulls himself to the top but jumps into two knees to the face called the Codebreaker. THAT gets two and Jericho is furious. Jericho tells Sheamus to get up but walks into the Brogue for the pin at 12:00 shown of 15:30.

Rating: B. This was your usual good Smackdown main event. I can live with Jericho living here because he dominated the match and lost on a Hail Mary Brogue Kick from Sheamus. They beat on each other for a long time until it was hard to say who was going to win at the end. That’s hard to do anymore but it worked very well here. Good stuff.

Post breaks here’s Del Rio’s car but Del Rio pops up behind Sheamus and puts him in the armbreaker over the stage. You know, exactly what he was supposed to do a few weeks ago before their other match. Sheamus is in trouble to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t bad, but Smackdown continues to be completely not required wrestling to watch anymore. With all of the recaps on here and the quick squashes other than the main event, there wasn’t much worth seeing. MITB looks like it’s just a bump in the road before the 1000th Raw which is the real major show this month. After that though, it looks like they could be in big trouble. Nothing to see here but it’s nothing too bad. Also, what did Ryder do here other than make like 2 matches?

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NXT
Date: May 23, 2012
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Josh Matthews, William Regal

OH COME ON! Apparently they’re going to wrap up this season instead of going straight to the new stuff. I know this is going to sound crazy, but I think I’d prefer it that way. I’ve spent over a year on this awful show and I need to get to the end of it for my own sanity’s sake. Hopefully they wrap it up soon though. Let’s get to it.

Jinder Mahal vs. Derrick Bateman

Feeling out process to start with Mahal shoving Bateman into the corner. Regal talks about Mahal’s cousin who is the two year running Indian karaoke champion. His name is Getupta Singh. Bateman comes back with some hard chops as a USA chant comes up. Clothesline gets two for Bateman.

Mahal comes back with his long legs and chokes away on the ropes. Bateman fights out of a chinlock but gets caught in a cravate with knees to the head, getting two. Bateman comes back with a chop and clothesline followed by a running flip neckbreaker for two. Missile dropkick gets the same. Bateman’s falling bulldog is escaped and Mahal hits a running knee to the face. A few knees to the back set up the camel clutch to make Bateman tap at 6:29.

Rating: D+. Nothing much here but I’m getting tired of this “Bateman is a rookie so beating someone from the main roster is a big deal.” Bateman has been on NXT for what, two years or so? Mahal debuted in April of 2011. If you want to REALLY stretch it, they’re equals at worst. Let it go already. The match was fine.

Percy Watson vs. Heath Slater

Josh FINALLY explains what the One Man Southern Rock Band means: Slater doesn’t need backup. It took how many months to say something that took two seconds to say? Slater quickly takes him to the mat but Watson kicks out of it with ease. Slater goes to the apron and hits a HARD right hand to take over. Why he had to go out there for a punch I’m not sure but whatever.

Off to a chinlock as Regal calls Slater a terrier, as in a dog. I’m not sure I get the connection but then again I’m not British. Slater hits Watson in the back of the head with an elbow and a kick to the same place gets two. Back to the chinlock for a few moments and Heath goes up. It’s the jump into the boot spot which drives me crazy, followed by a dropkick from Percy. Heisman gets two and avoids a clothesline to finish with Persecution at 6:23.

Rating: C-. Again the match was fine, but Watson is in an awkward place. He’s too good to keep facing all of the NXT guys but he’s not good enough to go face the main guys yet. The other problem is he’s just Percy Watson and is athletic. His matches are ok but there’s nothing memorable about him at all. I’m not sure what to do with him, but he really doesn’t need to change anything immediately so it’s not a huge problem.

Alicia Fox vs. Maxine

There’s only one way to put it: that animal thing on the top of Alicia’s head looks stupid. The announcers actually point out that Alicia used to be Maxine’s Pro. Very slow start so let’s talk about Josh’s love life. Maxine controls until Alicia fires off some elbows to the face. Maxine takes her back down and hooks a chinlock. Alicia hits some dropkicks and a northern lights suplex for two. Fox tries a rollup but gets countered into a dragon sleeper with a body scissors for the tap out at 6:09.

Rating: D. This was a really dull match and I can’t believe it was over six minutes long. Fox is just worthless. She looks stupid with that fur thing, she’s nothing special in the ring, and her looks are just ok. Maxine is hot and has catchy theme music, but above all else, she has a personality. It helps a lot and is a reason she’s one of the best Divas in the company.

Raw ReBound is about Cena/Show/Ace.

Drew McIntyre/Johnny Curtis vs. Great Khali/Ezekiel Jackson

Khali and Curtis get us starting and let the chopping begin. With Curtis looking like he’s coming to join Elizabeth, it’s off to Jackson. Off to McIntyre who gets chopped as well. Those are some sore chests. Drew finally gets in a shot to the knee and stomps Khali down into the corner. Khali shrugs him off and tags in Jackson who hits his clothesline in the corner and clears the ring.

We take a break and come back Drew “kicking” Big Zeke in the face and tagging in Curtis who is slammed a few times. Zeks goes after McIntyre who gets in a shot to the knee to let the heels finally take over. Curtis works on said leg for a good while until it’s off to Drew. He kicks at the knee but gets slammed. Tag to Khali who beats up both opponents and the Plunge ends Curtis at 9:03.

Rating: D. This was definitely the weakest match of the night. Why are these people teaming together? I know Khali and Jackson teamed up last week, which to be far is about as good as you’re going to get for a tag team these days, but what about the other guys? It was boring and was a borderline squash by Khali/Jackson.

Overall Rating: D. Sacre bleu what a boring show. For those of you that say there’s too much talking and backstage segments, I give you this as an example as to why those things need to exist. There was not a single promo, segment or anything that advanced a story on this show. I get that it’s because they’re moving to the new stuff soon, but if nothing else make up some short term ones. With no reason for these people to fight other than it’s that time of the week, there’s no reason to care about this show and it needs to wrap up soon.

Results
Jinder Mahal b. Derrick Bateman – Camel Clutch
Percy Watson b. Heath Slater – Persecution
Maxine b. Alicia Fox – Dragon Sleeper with bodyscissors
Great Khali/Ezekiel Jackson b. Drew McIntyre/Johnny Curtis – Punjabi Plunge to Curtis

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No Mercy 2007
Date: October 7, 2007
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

For you WrestleZone enthusiasts, this is the first PPV I ever did an LD for. For those of you that have no idea what I just said, I’d recommend a Yoo-Hoo and some store brand cookies. Anyway, this is the HHH show as Cena is injured, so it’s HHH wrestling three times to take his place. First of all, he has to get the world title so we’ll get to that part first. This is one of the shows that made the number of title reigns stupid for reasons we’ll get to later. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the Book of Genesis and how Cena’s rain (as in the rain of Noah) is over. The idea is that there’s a guaranteed new champion tonight.

We open the show with Vince and his lackey Regal. Oh ok Regal is GM. Vince says that Cena is no longer champion, thereby ending his year long reign. The fans chant for Y2J but Vince says no. Jericho was still yet to return as the SAVE US videos had been airing already. Instead the new champion is the #1 contender, Randy Orton. Orton comes out and gets a big pyro display when he takes the title off the stand it was on.

Orton has to defend it tonight but he gets to hand pick his opponent. The fans again chant for Y2J and Vince goes into EVIL mode, saying to shut up because the champion is about to speak. Orton says he won’t be defending against Cena tonight because he’s the latest name on the list of Orton’s victims. He says there’s no one that can stand up to him….and here’s HHH to a big ovation.

HHH says he knows Orton will be a fighting champion, so how about a title match right here and now? Orton says no so HHH says that Orton must not want his second title reign to be shorter than his first. The people cheer so HHH says that it’s clearly what the people want and that’s what Vince does, but Vince still says no. The Game calls the Boss a balless coward and that he has raisins, not grapefruits. That does it so ring the bell.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

Vince distracts HHH and Orton gets in a cheap shot to take over. That lasts about 5 seconds as HHH elbows him down. Orton bails to the floor and tries to take a walk but HHH stops him. Orton heads to the floor again and HHH stops him again. Back in HHH knees him down but his suplex is countered into the backbreaker for two. HHH slugs back but walks into the powerslam for two.

Here come the stomps as Orton was still in that slow motion period of his career. You know, the one that ran for like 5 years. Chinlock time which HHH breaks out of and clotheslines Orton down. Another clothesline in the corner crushes Randy and it’s time for a superplex. HHH’s feet hit the mat a bit there so the landing was a little awkward. Either way it just gets two.

Orton tries to charge at HHH but walks into a spinebuster for two. HHH sends him to the floor and then back in, but on the way back inside he walks into the elevated DDT for two. The kickout got a big reaction. RKO and Pedigree are both countered but Orton walks into a knee to the head. HHH hooks a Figure Four and a good one at that. That gets escaped and HHH goes up but gets crotched. Orton charges into the post and HHH rolls him up for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match here but it only ran about eleven minutes so they didn’t have a ton of time to get anything going. This is one of the instances where I was talking about the title reigns meaning nothing, as one of Orton’s current nine reigns lasted a total of about 15 minutes. Anyway the match wasn’t that bad and having the ending be something other than a finisher into a pin was a nice change of pace.

HHH celebrates for a good long while.

Orton is freaked out in the back and runs into Vince. Nothing is said.

Jeff Hardy/Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch/Mr. Kennedy

This is a bonus match, Jeff is the IC Champion and the country boys are the Raw tag champions. The tag champs say they have a new partner to keep another fluke like the one on Raw from happening. Cade and Kendrick start things off and it’s quickly off to London. Murdoch comes in and gets taken apart by a double teaming from Hardy and London. Trevor runs Hardy over with a clothesline and it’s off to Kennedy with a big pop.

Kennedy misses a charge and Hardy tags in Kendrick. Cade is in as well and Murdoch low bridges Brian to the floor. Kendrick plays Ricky Morton for awhile as Kennedy chokes him in the corner. A BIG boot in the corner gets two. Cravate keeps Kendrick down and he still can’t make a tag. Back to Cade who loads up a superplex but Kendrick headbutts his way out of it and a tornado DDT puts Cade down.

Double tags bring in Jeff and Trevor and Hardy tries that sitout gordbuster of his. He drops Murdoch though and Trevor LANDS ON THE TOP OF HIS HEAD. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Swanton would get the pin but Murdoch rolls to the floor to check if he’s dead. London vs. Kennedy now and Kennedy is put down with a spinwheel kick. Hardy misses whatever he was going for as Kendrick and Murdoch fall to the floor. Kennedy gets London on top and the rolling fireman’s carry slam off the middle rope gets the pin.

Rating: C-. Considering Murdoch is still alive, this at least ends on a positive note. The ending was cool too and with this being a bonus match, there’s only so much criticism I can give this match. It did its job, although I kind of wonder what the ads for this show were like given that there was a big ten minute hole in it and they already had a 15 minute talking segment to open things up.

HHH and Batista, both world champions at the moment, run into each other in the back. Batista says someone once told him that it’s a lot easier to win it than to keep it. Batista has a Punjabi Prison match against Khali later. Great. Dave leaves and HHH runs into Vince. Vince says he gives the people what they want and there was a match advertised between HHH and Umaga, which is what the people are going to get. The title is on the line.

ECW Title: Big Daddy V vs. CM Punk

V is challenging and has Striker with him. This was supposed to be Dreamer vs. Punk but GM Estrada did something to stop that. Punk is the hometown boy so you know he gets a big pop. V immediately throws Punk to the floor and back in it’s anal raping time. Look up the Visagra and you’ll get the idea. Punk comes back with some kicks but they have no effect at all. A corner splash misses and a missile dropkick puts V down….and here’s Striker for the DQ. This was like 90 seconds long.

V crushes him post match. What was the point of any of this? Punk is helped out by referees.

We recap the series of contests betwee MVP and Matt Hardy, including arm wrestling, boxing (with Evander Holyfield being brought in as a surrogate), basketball, chess, throwing a football and push-ups. Tonight: it’s a pizza eating contest. OH COME ON. Taz is hosting. There are judges for this for no apparent reason: Melina and Maria. They’re scorekeepers instead of judges. MVP is US Champion but he wouldn’t actually drop the title to Matt until APRIL, as in six and a half months from now. They’re also tag champions.

MVP complains about the pizza because it’s not healthy. He criticizes Chicago for being fat, prompting Maria to say she’s from Chicago, so is she fat? Matt and MVP get in a stupid argument as this just drags on and on and on. It’s finally time to eat and by the time this starts, this segment has gone longer than the six man went. Matt quickly slows down and it doesn’t matter as it takes MVP almost two minutes to eat a single slice. Yes, they’re eating for two minutes. The final score is two slices to zero with Matt winning. Matt throws up on MVP. This went longer than the world title match.

Cyber Sunday ad. They say you can pick HIAC as a stipulation. Obviously that never happened.

We recap HH vs. Umaga, which is really HHH vs. Vince with a surrogate Samoan. This ties into the whole Horny is Vince’s legitimate son son deal. The match was originally non-title because neither guy had a title coming in.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Umaga

HHH gets to use King of Kings now that he’s champion. Umaga takes him down immediately so HHH fires back with a DDT. Thankfully Umaga remembers his racial stereotypes and no sells it. HHH low bridges him and we go to the floor. Umaga gets rammed into the steps and yells at HHH for it. My goodness it’s nice to see a Samoan monster that knows how to take a beating to the head.

Back in Umaga pounds him down but misses a middle rope headbutt. For some reason that slows him down but the Facebuster has no effect. Pedigree is countered but the spinebuster works just fine. Another Pedigree attempt is countered into a Samoan Drop and the Game has bad ribs. Out to the floor and HHH goes into the barricade. Back in for a bearhug as the champ is in trouble.

Umaga shifts up into a spinning Rock Bottom for two. The headbutt (this time not of the ropes) hits the bad ribs and is followed by a knee. Umaga pounds on the head of the Game and has him down in the corner. The running hip attack (SEE??? IT WAS UMAGA! NOT FREAKING RIKISHI YOU STUPID NXT PEOPLE!) misses, Umaga gets launched into the post and HHH hits a quick Pedigree to retain.

Rating: C-. Not much here as it felt like a Raw main event instead of a PPV title match. Then again this is only the second PPV title match out of four tonight so it’s ok if there’s a match with only about six and a half minutes. It’s nothing that great but it was good to allow HHH to look good. You know, like in a real title reign at a smaller PPV instead of in the third match of the night, but whatever.

We put a spotlight on the Punjabi Prison and have an ominous song but that’s later on. Instead, we see Khali meditating.

Rey Mysterio vs. Finlay

No reason given for the match before the entrances. Rey is listed at 165. That’s small even for him. Feeling out process to start but Rey takes him down with a shot to the knee and a low dropkick. Slingshot splash gets two. A hard (and appropriate) Irish whip slows Rey down but he dropkicks the knee again to send Finlay to the apron. More kicks look to set up a sunset bomb to the floor but Finlay escapes and ties him up in the ring skirt and pounds away to take over.

Rey gets thrown shoulder first into the post and it’s a Fujiwara Armbar from Finlay. A hard clothesline gets two and it’s back to the arm. Rey manages to snapmare his way out of a crossface chickenwing and send Finlay into the buckle. Springboard crossbody gets two. Seated senton gets the same and a counter to the sitout bulldog is countered into 619 position, but Finlay counters the counter to the counter (got that?) to clothesline him down for two.

A rana out of the corner is countered into a shoulder breaker for two. The Irishman takes a buckle pad off and uses the distraction of the referee to go for the club. Rey blocks the shot and ranas Finlay to the floor. Finlay is in 619 position on the apron (as in he’s outside the ring) but the 619 misses. Rey kicks him in the head and drops a leg on the back of his head, sending Finlay to the floor with a THUD. The referee calls for help and the match is over.

Rating: C+. This was getting good by the end. The more I see of Finlay the more I tend to like his work. He’s really good at going out there and having a solid match and being a bully for someone to stand up to which is a good character to have. Rey is perfect as the underdog too so the chemistry was there. The ending kind of sucked though.

The replay makes it look even worse. He’s taken out on a stretcher…..and he pops up to jump Rey and the place FREAKS. This was a really good performance considering it went so fast. The beating is bad enough for Rey to be taken out on a stretcher.

SAVE US! WHOEVER YOU ARE!

HHH has ice on his ribs when Vince comes in. He guaranteed the fans a last man standing match, so that’s what HHH has tonight against Orton for the title.

Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Candice Michelle

Candace is defending and looks like an idiot with the angel’s wings on her outfit. Beth throws her into the corner to start but Candice manages a nice bridging cradle for two. She goes for Beth’s arm but we get the Davey Boy Smith/Shawn Michaels move of the pullup from the ground. Powerslam gets two and it’s off to a chinlock.

Actually it’s a cobra clutch but it’s the same idea. Candice climbs the corner ala Bret vs. Austin for two but can’t break the hold. She finally rams Beth into the buckle to escape and a top rope cross body gets two, as does a sunset flip out of the corner. Beth grabs her into a fisherman’s buster which is enough for the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. Candice was supposed to be the next big thing in the Divas division but this was her only title reign and not many people really remember her. Beth would become a much bigger deal with multiple title reigns, including the one that is going on now which will seemingly never end. This wasn’t bad.

Beth says this is the era of the Glamazon.

The Prison is lowered.

We recap Batista vs. Khali. Batista got the title in a threeway at Unforgiven by pinning the giant. Khali wanted a rematch one on one but on his terms. The cage is explained which we’ll get to in a minute. It’s more complicated than it needs to be anyway.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Great Khali

Batista is defending and this is inside the Punjabi Prison. Ok so there’s a big round cage around the ring that goes down to the floor. It comes up to a circle at the top with sharp sticks on top. There’s another cage (all made of bamboo mind you) with four gates on it. You can request to open one at any time and at that point you have sixty seconds to go through it. If you don’t get out, it’s closed and that gate can’t be used again. You have to get out of both cages to win. It’s WAY too complicated which is why there were only two of these matches ever.

Batista gets in a quick shot to knock Khali into the ropes and tie him up. He hammers away instead of leaving like an intelligent person would. Well he’s an animal so maybe that explains it. Khali comes back with a chop to the head and opens a gate, but Batista stops him enough for the clock to go down. The Plunge is countered but Khali kicks him down. Leg drop misses and Batista spears him down.

The second gate is opened but Khali grabs the leg. He chokes him against the cage until the clock runs out and the door is shut. Khali pulls a rope off the wall of the cage to tie Batista to the cage. There’s a strap attached to the cage for some reason so Khali pulls it down and it’s whipping time. Batista wasn’t tied up so I guess it was just choking. The third gate is opened but Khali walks into a spinebuster. Big Dave goes for the door but Khali stops him again, leaving us with only one door.

Batista grabs the strap and gives Khali a beating. Now Batista tries to climb over the top for some reason but Khali pounds him down, right into position for Batista to Bomb him out of the corner. Khali blocks it with punches though and the champion is down. Vice Grip goes on and Batista is in trouble. Khali asks for the fourth gate to be opened but Batista hits him low to put both guys down.

The last door closes so Khali beats up the referee through the cage. Khali tries to climb as JBL says this is something out of Jurassic Park. Uh….not exactly Jibbles. Khali tries to climb out but gets knocked down. JBL: “When big men fall down off the top rope like that it hurts.” Batista climbs as well but gets pulled down with a big crash. Khali climbs up and over the top of the first cage while Batista is still down. Both guys climb a cage and in a very cool looking ending, Batista jumps from the outside of the inner cage to the inside of the outer cage and gets up and out faster than Khali can to retain.

Rating: C-. I don’t think anyone would say this was good. I don’t think anyone would argue that a regular cage match wouldn’t have been better. I do however think this wasn’t half bad. The ending was really cool with that jump being something almost out of an action movie. It was an interesting experiment but thankfully they didn’t try it after this.

We recap the night long story with HHH vs. Vince/Orton. HHH is in the back and says the Game isn’t over. He’s coming for Orton.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

Last man standing. Slugout to start with Orton going after the bad ribs. They keep the slugout going out to the floor where a Pedigree is countered. The bad ribs land on the steel and Orton gets control. Back in and a punch puts HHH down. Out to the floor again and Orton belly to back suplexes him onto the barricade. That gets a six count and Orton throws him into the steps for another six.

They head into the ring and Orton hits a release powerslam for about eight. Facebuster puts Orton down but he pops back up and gets a cord off the floor. He chokes HHH out but what should be murder only gets a nine count. Orton loads up the announce table and gets a horrible shot to the head with a monitor. An RKO from one table to the other doesn’t work as HHH launches him through the second table.

Both guys are down and Orton is holding his arm. Gee where have I seen that before? Trips gets up and it’s a nine count on Orton. A spinebuster on the floor but that gets the same result. Steps to the face of Orton should kill him but gets the slowest nine count ever. Back into the ring and HHH gets a chair. Orton manages to kick the bad ribs and DDTs him onto the chair for an eight or so.

Randy finally goes off and pounds HHH down in the corner and an RKO on the open chair gets nine. The Punt is grabbed and HHH throws Orton over the top to the floor. They go to the floor with HHH pounding on him before throwing him onto the remaining table. Orton escapes and slams him into the post to put HHH down. He gets the steps but HHH hits him low to “slam” Orton’s head into them. A chair to Orton’s head while it’s still on the steps gets nine and we go back to the table. An RKO out of nowhere onto the table gives Orton the title. It’s as sudden as it sounds.

Rating: B. Good match but the counts got pretty ridiculous at times. The ending didn’t help either as Orton had hit him with far bigger stuff just moments earlier but the RKO ends it because that’s what Orton finishes matches with. Also it doesn’t help that these two had THREE last man standing matches in total. See why people got tired of them?

Overall Rating: B-. I didn’t like it as much as the 06 version but this was still a solid show. The HHH vs. Orton love fest didn’t quite do it for me but the rest of the stuff was good enough and you can’t say nothing happened here. This is turning into a show that you expect nothing from but get a good result out of and that’s fine with me. There’s one more to go and I remember liking it a lot.

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Smackdown
Date: February 10, 2012
Location: BOK Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

Tonight’s main event is Orton vs. Bryan in a non title match. That means the match should be a lot better as we have one of the best in ring workers in the world today in there and on the other side we have the world champion. It’ll be nice to see him against someone who isn’t a giant and someone who might be effected by Bryan’s offense. Let’s get to it.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is a snow storm that might slow down the airport.

Here’s Sheamus to open the show who talks about how he has to pick which champion to face at Mania. When he was a kid he was bullied but he started fighting back. He got better with each fight until he was good enough that he got here. Sheamus says he isn’t going to change his ways because they’ve gotten him this far. Cue Barrett who says that he respects Sheamusa bit but Sheamus needs to go for the Raw title. Sheamus says he was thinking about Orton beating Barrett all over the ring last week.

Cue Cody who says he knows what it’s like to be a champion. The Chamber is a tax on the mind and he’s the strongest mentally of all of them. He’ll be a double champion as well. Here’s Big Show who says he won’t tell Sheamus what to do. He will however tell Cody to shut up. Show won’t make promises about the Chamber but asks Sheamus to think about facing him at Mania for the title.

Barrett cuts Show off and calls him a Wrestlemania punchline because Snooki has a better record at Wrestlemania than Big Show. Cody calls him the reverse Undertaker. Show takes him down and a brawl erupts. Sheamus and Show clear the ring. Gee, I wonder if we’ll have a tag match for later?

Great Khali vs. Jinder Mahal

Mahal does a ceremonial headware removal thing. Total domination by Khali as he wins with the Punjabi Plunge in 2:05. See, this is what they should have been doing to build to the Chamber: have the participants beat up jobbers. As in, you know, having jobbers do what they’re supposed to do.

We get a video of Teddy indefinitely suspending Henry last week.

In the back, Aksana and Teddy do their usual thing with Aksana kissing Teddy on the cheek. Bryan comes in and doesn’t like what he sees. Aksana leaves and Bryan goes on a rant about the barbecue that Teddy held earlier. He talks about how it was dead animal flesh and charred meat. Teddy: “I put some of JR’s barbecue sauce on it. Tasted fine to me.” Bryan says that makes him sick so Teddy says stop trying to get out of facing Orton tonight.

Beth Phoenix vs. Alicia Fox

Beth sits on the ropes and tells Alicia to get out of her ring. Fox takes her to the corner but Beth shoves her away. Alicia tries a Matrix move but gets sledged down. Glam Slam pins her at 1:17.

Phoenix loads up another Glam Slam but Tamina runs out and stares at her for the save. Beth seems happy to finally have a challenger.

Another way too long video about how awesome Rock is.

More of the very stupid Natalya gimmick. I’m not going to bother going into what it is because it’s that awful.

Big Show/Sheamus vs. Wade Barrett/Cody Rhodes

The entrances are out of order for some reason, as it goes Show, Rhodes, Barrett, Sheamus. Show vs. Rhodes gets us going and Show barks him into tagging. Barrett gets tossed in and chopped to the floor so it’s back to Cody. Show loads up the right hand so Cody bails to the corner. Off to Barrett vs. Sheamus with Sheamus running him over very easily.

Barrett gets in a knee and tags Cody back in. The IC Champion has as much success as he did before as Sheamus throws him outside. We take a break and come back with Cody getting beaten up again. The rolling fireman’s carry slam gets two. The heels finally double team Show down with some High/Low action. A missile dropkick gets two for Cody. A chinlock is easily broken but Barrett chop blocks Show to break up the tag.

Barrett chinlocks him but Show just stands up and breaks it up with a ram into the corner. Cody comes in with the Beautiful Disaster for two before Show can make the tag. Show breaks up a chinlock and makes the tag to Sheamus. A pair of Brogue Kicks later and Sheamus gets the pin on Barrett at 9:24 shown of 12:54.

Rating: C. Not bad for a main event style tag match, but it sums up the problem with Big Show: there aren’t very many ways to make an attack on him believable. It’s the same problem that Bryan has had: no matter what he does, Show can shrug it off and hit one big punch to end a match. He works better as a heel in that regard, as most monsters do because it means you can see someone slay the giant.

Here’s AJ who says she should be back in a few weeks and competing in the spring. She thanks people who supported her….and Cole goes into jerk mode, talking about how no one knows who she is. Cole asks about Monday where Big Show almost ran her over again. AJ says it was an accident, but it’s been Cole that has made things worse than anyone else. He’s never believed in Bryan and he’s stirred things up.

AJ rips into Cole and says that the WWE would be a better place if he would just shut his mouth. Cole argues back and says everyone is saying that Bryan set AJ up to get hurt. Cole will be in his glory when Bryan loses. Cue Bryan who yells at Cole and then says that on Sunday, he took a nature walk instead of eating a bunch of meat and beer. After so many people did that, how many of them recycled? He cares about future generations and he cares about AJ. Due to the people being so mean to her, Bryan is leaving the arena to take AJ home. They’ll be leaving in a Prius as well.

They leave and Cole goes on a rant about Bryan. Is Cole supposed to be a face or a heel? I really don’t think they have any idea anymore either. Booker defends Bryan….I think?

Bryan and AJ are in the back and start to leave when Teddy comes up. He says he’ll be glad to find transportation for AJ, but if Bryan leaves he’ll be stripped of the title.

Ted DiBiase vs. Hunico

DiBiase still has a cast on his wrist which is now a hard cast instead of the soft one he had two weeks ago. DiBiase fights with the right arm and knocks Hunico to the floor with a clothesline. Camacho distracts Ted a bit and Hunico gets him to the floor and rams the bad wrist into the post. Hunico throws on a few submissions but DiBiase rolls him up as he tries a cross armbreaker for the pin at 2:42.

Don’t be a bully.

Video on the Chamber and how it leads to Wrestlemania.

We get an interview with Johnny Ace from Abu Dhabi where he says WWE is awesome and that’s about it.

Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton

Big Show is on commentary for this. This is their first meeting according to Cole. They jockey for position to start and Randy controls with an armbar. Bryan comes back with some offense of his own but no one can get a clear advantage. Randy heads to the floor and shoots a glare at Big Show. Bryan hits a baseball slide and the running knee off the apron to take Randy down and we take a break.

Back with Bryan working on the arm but Randy countering into the backbreaker to cause the separation. Bryan gets another shot into the arm but as he goes up, Randy crotches him. A superplex is broken up but Bryan’s top rope splash misses. Orton comes back with his powerslam but the elevated DDT is countered by a high kick. Bryan goes up and is crotched again and this time the superplex works, getting two.

Orton starts the Stomp as Cole asks Big Show how many Wrestlemania matches he’s won. Booker: “Will you just hit him in the mouth please?” Bryan comes back and hits a running dropkick in the corner. A bunch of kicks hit but Bryan gets rolled up for two. The rollup is countered into a LeBell Lock attempt but Randy counters that into a slingshot to send Bryan to the apron. Elevated DDT looks to set up the RKO but Bryan heads to the apron. He rolls to the floor and shoves Big Show, drawing the DQ at 10:05 shown of 13:35.

Rating: B. I was really getting into this match by the end. Orton seemingly can’t have a bad match anymore and Bryan is really getting better when he’s against normal sized guys like Orton here and Punk from a few weeks ago on Raw. The ending is fine because Bryan is afraid to get beaten or fight himself, but it’s getting old to see that every week.

Orton gets in Show’s face and Show shoves him. A big brawl ends the show as Bryan smiles. Cole gets the famous line of “it’s breaking loose in Tulsa” wrong by saying “it’s breaking down in Tulsa.” I’ve never heard the second of those but maybe it’s a correct one.

Overall Rating: B-. They’re in buildup mode for the Chamber and that’s what they needed to do. Everyone in the chamber was in action tonight and we have Bryan looking like a puppet master out there, which is something that he needs to be rather than the plucky babyface that escapes with the title. Good show, but not as good as Smackdown is capable of.

Results
Great Khali b. Jinder Mahal – Punjabi Plunge
Beth Phoenix b. Alicia Fox – Glam Slam
Big Show/Sheamus b. Cody Rhodes/Wade Barrett – Brogue Kick to Sheamus
Ted DiBiase b. Hunico – Rollup
Daniel Bryan b. Randy Orton via DQ when Big Show interfered

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Smackdown
Date: February 3, 2012
Location: Qwest Center Omaha, Omaha, Nebraska
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

Well I’m another year older and Smackdown hopefully is a little better than last week. Last year there really weren’t any long matches to be seen. Bryan is still champion and tonight we find out who he’ll be defending against inside the Smackdown Elimination Chamber. I think I like the three week build better for this as the match is set tonight so what’s the point in drawing it out when the Chamber sells the show? Let’s get to it.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is too much cake.

Teddy is in the ring to open the show. He says there’s going to be a Smackdown Elimination Chamber match as well and here are the participants: Bryan, Barrett, Big Show, Rhodes, Orton, Henry. Those are the top guys on the roster so I can’t really argue with them. After Teddy gives us a brief explanation of the rules, here’s Henry. He complains about having a one in six chance at the PPV and demands a title match one on one tonight. Teddy says be thankful you’re in after losing the cage.

He follows that up by saying Henry is out of the Chamber and gets no title match tonight. Henry gets in Teddy’s face so Teddy suspends him indefinitely. Henry says that if he’s suspended, he’s going to earn it and grabs Long’s tie. Cue Sheamus who makes the save. They stare each other down and Sheamus kicks his head off and Henry heads to the floor.

Henry leaves and Teddy asks Sheamus if he knows which champion he’ll face at Mania. Sheamus isn’t sure yet but will announce it after the Chamber. Cue Cody who says he did all the work in the Rumble and eliminated the most people but Sheamus got the win and the glory. Cody is going to take that momentum into the Chamber and become the first dual champion since the Ultimate Warrior. Teddy makes Sheamus vs. Rhodes right now.

Cody Rhodes vs. Sheamus

This is joined in progress after a break but I don’t think we missed much. Cody tries to come out of the corner but gets caught in a rolling fireman’s carry slam. Out to the floor with Sheamus still in control. Cody manages to dropkick him into the post and hits the Beautiful Disaster off the barricade. Moonsault press gets two for Cody and he hooks a crossface kind of move. Sheamus fires back and a powerslam gets two. They go up and Sheamus knocks Cody off and hits the flying shoulder. Brogue Kick misses as does the Beautiful Disaster and Sheamus loads up the move Finlay called the Celtic Cross for the pin at 5:17.

Rating: C. Was there really a reason for Sheamus to get another finisher? What exactly was wrong with kicking the guy’s head off? Anyway, good match to get Sheamus more momentum, although I could have gone without them having Cody lose again. Sheamus is the bigger star, but there are others he could do this to.

Cody is still at ringside after the break.

Justin Gabriel vs. Hunico

No match as Cody runs in for the beatdown and is joined by Hunico and Camacho. Khali comes out for the save. Hunico takes the Pubjabi Plunge.

Drew is in the back and Teddy says it’s too predictable when Drew is in the ring. Why does Drew have a job still? He leaves and Santino comes in. Santino comes in and suggests a new tag team: SantinHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Duggan comes in and we get stereo USA/ITALIA chants. They leave and Aksana comes in. Sex jokes are made and Duggan says HOOOOOOOO!

Mike Tyson Hall of Fame video.

Santino Marella/Jim Duggan vs. Epico/Hunico

Epico vs. Santino gets us going. Off to Duggan quickly who does nothing of note but clothesline. Back to Santino who does all of his usual stuff. Santino loads up Cobra but Rosa distracts him and the Backstabber from Primo ends him at 2:42.

Back from a break and Cole is in the ring to interview the champ. Cole says that he doesn’t like to admit it, but Bryan survived. Bryan takes the mic and says this is about him. He succeeded on Sunday and calls himself a role model. Bryan talks about how being a vegan is a good thing and the fans are killing themselves by eating meat. He says he’s healthier than everyone in the building without clogged arteries and a lack of heart failure. Everyone should be a vegan but the fans say he sucks.

It isn’t fair that he has to be in the Elimination Chamber, especially against someone that he’s dominated like Big Show. Big Show is a failure in both the ring and in life due to him running over AJ. If Teddy doesn’t take him out of the Chamber, Bryan is going to the Board of Directors and Teddy may join Johnny Ace on the unemployment line. So Ace is officially gone?

Cue Big Show who says he would have been here sooner but he was in the back finishing a steak. Bryan has been calling himself a role model but it doesn’t matter if you tell people that. Show says Bryan has been lucky and a pompous jerk. After the Chamber, he’ll still be a jerk but he won’t be champion anymore. Bryan pokes him in the chest and says that he’s overcome the odds over and over again. Show goes right at him and the beating is on. He chokeslams Bryan and AJ comes out in a neckbrace. She stops the big right hand and leaves. Bryan promises to keep her safe.

Beth and Natalya are doing Hindu squats and the stupid joke/gimmick that Natalya started last week continues. Give me a break.

Beth Phoenix/Natalya vs. Tamina/Aksana

Glam Slam pins Aksana in 43 seconds.

Tamina breaks up a Sharpshooter by Natalya post match with a superkick and hits a Superfly Splash to leave her holding her ribs.

Don’t be a bully.

Great Khali will replace Henry in the Chamber.

Five minute video on how awesome John Cena is.

Orton says he’ll win the Chamber match and beat whomever he has to beat.

Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton

This is no disqualification. Bryan and AJ are watching from the back. They brawl to start as Booker calls Barrett a future Hall of Famer. Orton takes over with a suplex and hits the Stomp. Out to the floor and Barrett throws him into the barricade. Orton throws him back in and pulls out a table as we take a break. Back with Orton trying a superplex and being countered by Barrett who shoves him through it for two.

Barrett goes after the bad back of Orton by bending it around the post. Orton has his back rammed into the apron and they go back inside. Barrett hits a bunch of knees and a big boot to knock Randy right back to the floor. They go into the crowd for a bit with Orton hammering on Barrett even more. Back to ringside and Orton jumps off the apron with a double ax to the head.

Wade manages to reverse Orton into the steps and take over. He brings in a chair and tries for Wasteland but Orton escapes and clotheslines Barrett down. Now Orton gets the chair and pops Barrett over the back with it a bunch of times. The chair is wedged between the top and middle rope and Orton whips Barrett into it.

A dropkick puts Barrett down and they head to the floor again. Barrett takes more of a beating and back inside Orton hits the Elevated DDT. RKO is countered into the Winds of Change for two. Barrett loads up a pumphandle slam onto the chair but Orton counters and hits an RKO. He doesn’t cover though and moves the chair to the middle of the ring. RKO onto the chair ends this at 13:51 shown of 17:21.

Rating: C+. This was long and more of a beating by Orton than a match. I’m not sure why they had Barrett get taken down so hard here but it’s a pretty definitive ending to this feud. The match was fine and it’s not like Orton has destroyed Barrett the entire feud or anything. I liked it well enough and it was fine for a long TV main event.

AJ and Bryan are in the back and Teddy makes Bryan vs. Orton for next week. Bryan tells AJ to stay here where it’s safe and watch this. Bryan comes to the ring and celebrates while Orton is posing. The champ leaves and the celebration in the aisle ends the show.

Overall Rating: C+. It was a better show than last week and we definitely launched towards Elimination Chamber pretty strong. I like them having a lot of the Chamber guys in matches beforehand as you get good matches out of it and the matches have a built in backstory. The show was better than last week but not exactly a classic. Oh and on a side note: there was a Brodus match taped but there was no sign of it here.

Results
Sheamus b. Cody Rhodes – Inverted Emerald Flosion
Epico/Primo b. Jim Duggan/Santino Marella – Backstabber to Marella
Beth Phoenix/Natalya b. Tamina/Aksana – Glam Slam to Aksana
Randy Orton b. Wade Barrett – RKO onto a chair

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