TNA Special Date: March 31, 2020 Location: Coca Cola Roxy, Atlanta, Georgia Commentators: David Penzer, Scott D’Amore
Now this is interesting as the idea is to help get things ready for the There’s No Place Like Home special. However, the show, which was scheduled to air over Wrestlemania weekend, has been canceled. Therefore we have this as a stand alone show, which could go a bunch of ways. Let’s get to it.
We get the old TNA Cross The Line opening.
Here’s a video of TNA highlights, featuring the awesome voiceover guy they always had. There was a ton of talent around here and they had some good moments, which show you just how sad it is that they wound up being such a disappointment.
We get a quick welcome from commentary and the old TNA World Title is in front of them. I’ve picked that thing up before and it took me two hands to hold it.
Hernandez vs. Chase Stevens
Hernandez runs him over to start but it’s too early for the Boarder Toss. Instead Stevens snaps off a German suplex as commentary hypes up Friday’s pay per view. Stevens manages a hurricanrana for two, only to get caught in the Boarder Toss for the fast pin at 2:06.
Pay per view hype/show rundown.
Video on the Knockouts. They really were treated as a big deal way before any other major women’s division so well done there.
Gail Kim is excited about the show.
Video Ultimate X, which was going to return at the pay per view. Unlike King of the Mountain, this one didn’t seem far more complicated than it needed to be and felt like a great signature match.
Ace Austin is ready to defend the X-Division Title in an Ultimate X match. Austin risked it all in Ultimate X before but it was before he hit his stride. Now there’s nothing he won’t do to retain his title. He knows a thing or two about nonstop action you see.
Johnny Swinger/Kid Kash vs. Suicide/Manik
Kash and Swinger hammer away to start but it’s a double dropkick from Manik (who is clearly TJP) taking over. Poetry In Motion hits Swinger and we take an early break. Back with Manik snapping Swinger’s arm but it’s off to Kash to take over in the corner. Swinger’s elbow to the face gets two and a double shoulder drops Manik again.
Kash forearms him in the face over and over for two more but Manik finally rolls over for the hot tag to Suicide. That means superkicks can abound and an enziguri gets two on Swinger. Everything breaks down and it’s Manik and Suicide doing the stereo Andrade posing in the ropes. A pair of dives take out Kash and Swinger again, setting up a high crossbody to Kash. Suicide’s Swanton finishes at 10:24.
Rating: C-. This went a bit longer than it needed to but it was fine as a callback to some of the previous generations. That being said, of all the people they could do something with, they picked Manik? It’s not like he was anything significant in the company but it wasn’t a bad match or anything.
A bunch of wrestlers are asked about the King of the Mountain match and no one knows the rules. Willie Mack got it but Tessa Blanchard thought it was a giant rib (fair enough). Eh kind of funny, mainly because it’s true.
Here’s Scott Steiner for an uncensored promo. He’s the reason why T&A shows up for TNA because he’s not part of the PC culture. Steiner is going to be in a four way tag match with Petey Williams as his partner so let’s hit that math promo. Cue Joey Ryan to interrupt and say he won’t talk about T&A. He can do the math though and knows they add up to something inappropriate. The reality is that Steiner should have been canceled a long time ago, just like TNA. We need to get rid of Big Papa Pump and get Big Proper Pump. Ryan is shoved to the floor.
Raven talks about the Clockwork Orange House of Fun match and how it is only funny when someone gets hurt. Wouldn’t Monster’s Ball make a lot more sense here?
Rhino vs. Mad Man Fulton
This is a regular match before they have the Clockwork Orange match at the pay per view. They fight to the floor early on with Fulton getting the better of things. Back in and Fulton chokes a bit, followed by the chinlock, allowing commentary to plug Impact Plus. Fulton misses a top rope headbutt and the comeback is on, including the belly to belly. The Gore is loaded up but OVE runs in for the DQ at 3:52.
Rating: D+. Just a match here and it’s kind of weird to build up a hardcore match with a regular match, even if Sabu was going to be involved on Friday. The match wasn’t terrible, but these two not having weapons as a crutch hurt things a lot. Not the worst, but I’ve seen something similar far too many times now.
Post match the beatdown is on but Tommy Dreamer runs in for the save. Yes, Dreamer, who was mainly part of TNA as part of a nostalgia run for ECW, is now part of the entire company’s nostalgia run. Does this surprise anyone? Anyway the lights go out and it’s Raven making the save. At least that’s someone who was a big success in TNA. Raven takes Dreamer out for old times’ sake. Raven leaves so here is almost everyone else on the show so far with Kash hitting a big flip dive. Hernandez hits an even bigger dive to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. What a weird little show. The idea here was to hype up Friday and they did that to a degree, but it was also kind of a look back at everything great that TNA did. While you can argue over how smart it is to have a nostalgia show for something that was such a mess at times, there is definitely a history there. This show didn’t really make me care about Friday’s show, but it did make me miss TNA a little so….well done? Maybe?
Results
Hernandez b. Chase Stevens – Boarder Toss
Manik/Suicide b. Kid Kash/Johnny Swinger – Swanton to Kash
Rhino b. Mad Man Fulton via DQ when OVE interfered
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
Impact Wrestling – March 31, 2020: It’s A Running Joke
IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling
Impact Wrestling Date: March 31, 2020 Location: Coca Cola Roxy, Atlanta, Georgia Commentators: Madison Rayne, Josh Matthews
The company is running out of tapings but what makes this more interesting at this point is having to get ready for the TNA There’s No Place Like Home show. That’s kind of a problem as the show is not taking place, but we still need to get ready for it. I’m not sure what we are going to be seeing, but they don’t have many weeks left. Let’s get to it.
Opening recap, focusing on last week’s battle in the Undead Realm.
Opening sequence.
Josh Alexander vs. Eddie Edwards
Ethan Page is here with Alexander. They strike it out to start with Alexander getting the better of things and choking on the rope. That earns him an overhead belly to belly from Eddie but Alexander forearms him in the face a few more times. It’s time to head outside with Eddie nailing a clothesline but a Page distraction lets Alexander score with a big boot. Back in and the Eddie chants start up as Madison keeps talking about her past successes.
A clothesline gets Eddie out of trouble and he sends Alexander to the floor for the suicide dive. The Blue Thunder Bomb gets two back inside but the Backpack Stunner is countered into a spinning torture rack slam. Both guys tear their shirts open to chop it out with Eddie getting the better of things. A tiger bomb gets two on Alexander but a Page distraction lets him roll Eddie up for the pin at 9:35.
Rating: C+. Alexander continues to be one of the best people involved in the company right now and that makes him getting to do something like this a fun sight. Both of these guys are talented and they’re capable of doing a lot of things in the ring. Good little match here and the ending sets up a rematch, possibly with Eddie getting a partner to go after the titles.
Post match the North beats Eddie down but Tessa Blanchard runs in for the save.
Video on tonight’s TNA special. I still can’t get my head around this one.
The North doesn’t like Tessa getting involved and Page wants her tonight.
Kylie Rae vs. Cassandra Golden
This is Rae’s singles debut. Golden jumps her from behind to start and the stomping is on in the corner. A missed charge lets Rae hammer away though and a small package gets two. Rae’s low superkick gets the same so she Russian legsweeps her into an STF for the tap at 3:24.
Rating: C-. They were moving well enough out there but what matters most here is getting some fresh blood into the Knockouts division. With so many women leaving, bringing in people like Rae (or Golden) is a good idea. That’s the kind of thing that can do a lot of good for the future and hopefully they bring in a few more to help things out.
Post break, Rae is very happy to be here in her new home. She has officially signed a contract with Impact.
Classic TNA Moment: the full Steiner Math promo. I remember hearing Samoa Joe talking about watching this live and doing everything he had not to break out laughing because he knew this could never be recreated.
Here’s Moose to brag about how awesome he is but Kid Kash of all people interrupts to say Moose wouldn’t make it in the original TNA.
Moose vs. Kid Kash
Kash sends him outside early on but it’s No Jackhammer Needed back inside for the win at 1:03.
XXXL (Larry David and Acey Romero) are ready to crush people. TJP and Fallah Bahh come in with some Filipino food as a welcome gift. A match is teased.
We get a satellite interview with Rich Swann. He injured himself a few months ago and recovery has been very hard. As for Willie Mack, Swann is excited for his chances at Rebellion but here’s X-Division Champion Ace Austin to interrupt. Ace says it was Mack’s fault that the team never took off. If the tables were turned, Swann would be there by Mack’s side, but where is Mack? Swann blows it off because Mack is coming for the X-Division Title. There’s a knock at Swann’s door and it’s Reno Scum, apparently for a beatdown.
Post break, Mack has to be held back from killing Austin.
Here’s Sami Callihan for a chat and he sees everything. He’s done some soul searching after losing the World Title to Tessa Blanchard, but now people have a question for him: why did he throw a fireball at Ken Shamrock? See, his issues are with the entire wrestling world. In, ahem, OTHER, wrestling companies, legends come in and get pushed down your throats. If Shamrock wants a push, he can go through Sami first. Shamrock can break ankles but Sami hits them with baseball bats and sets them on fire.
Cue Tommy Dreamer and I think you know where this is going. Sami: “Whoopdedoo, Tommy Dreamer is offended again.” Sami says it’s no surprise that Dreamer is here because he always shows up when anyone gets something going. He offers to pose with Dreamer for a picture so people can tag it with “Hardcore Legend” so Dreamer can feel important again. Dreamer rants about all of the legends that Sami is disrespecting and the fight is on. Let’s just make it Old School Rules too.
Sami Callihan vs. Tommy Dreamer
Anything goes. Dreamer posts him to start and it’s already time to throw some chairs inside. Sami picks one of them up and unloads on him with the chair, followed by a plunger to the face because Sami is out there. A cookie sheet to the head slows Sami down so he low blows Dreamer in a hurry. The Bionic Elbow lets Dreamer go to the back to find a garbage can for a running shot to the head. Sami busts out the staple gun so Dreamer grabs an INDUSTRIAL staple gun as we take a break.
Back with the two of them sitting in chairs and stapling each other. Josh: “Madison has anyone ever stapled you?” Madison: “No. I’m a human being.” Dreamer gets the better of it until a drop toehold sends him into a chair. A cutter gives Dreamer two but neither can send the other through two open chairs. Sami sends him into the corner though and now the Death Valley Driver through the chairs knocks Dreamer silly. The Cactus Special gives Sami the pin at 13:14.
Rating: D+. I had a good laugh out of Sami mocking Dreamer for showing up anytime someone gets something going because it’s completely true. But hey, he was around in ECW and has been everywhere since so he’s a legend or something. Anyway, heating Sami up for Shamrock is good, but I have a bad feeling nothing is getting this kind of time all night.
Post match the beatdown stays on so here’s Rhino for the save. OVE comes in to go after him but the lights go out and Sami is gone.
Rosemary is still at the bar and offers drinks all around, last mortal standing gets to keep their soul. Rosemary talks to someone about how loving Allie made her weak and now it’s time to make things better. The man turns around and he’s….no one. She’ll take his soul anyway.
Video on Susie/Su Yung.
Susie is in the back and runs into the Deaners. She liked being Susie, but Su is who she is.
Joey Ryan vs. Cody Deaner
Kind of a weird cameo for Cody with Susie when he’s in this unrelated match. Ryan takes him into the corner to start as Madison is confused by the concept of toxic masculinity. A right hand in the corner doesn’t do much to Cody, who hammers away instead. Hold on though as Cody needs a beer, allowing Joey to rake the eyes. A knee drop gets two and Joey hits Cody with Cody’s hat. That brings Cody back to life and we get the hillbilly Hulk Up. The Deaner DDT is escaped but Jake makes Joey drink beer, setting up the DDT for the pin at 4:00.
Rating: D. What was the point here? They set up Cancel Culture as something important and then one of the Deaners beats Joey? I’m really not sure I get that and it probably isn’t the first time that is going to be the case. The match was nothing but some comedy spots strung together, though that might be better than watching Joey try to have a good match.
Eddie Edwards offers to have Tessa’s back tonight but she’s got this on her own.
Michael Elgin is ready to win the World Title at Rebellion.
Here’s what we get next week.
Ethan Page vs. Tessa Blanchard
Non-title and Josh Alexander is here with Page. Tessa doesn’t like being patted on the head to start and Page makes it worse by pulling her off the top. Page takes her down into the corner but Tessa slugs away, only to charge into a boot. Some knees to the back and a stomp to the stomach keep Tessa down and a delayed suplex does the same.
Tessa can’t fight out of a backbreaker but she can hit a standing Sliced Bread #2. The suicide dives to the floor hit Page and a tornado DDT gets two. Page kicks her in the face for two more but Tessa gets up top. Alexander tries to offer a distraction but here’s Eddie to cut him off. Magnum finishes Page at 9:19.
Rating: C. I was getting into this one by the end and you can pencil Eddie and Tessa in for a Tag Team Title shot next week. They’re doing a good job of making me want to see the three way for the World Title at Rebellion and I’m sure we’ll get to see it at some point in the future. It’s a shame that it might take some time, but at least it had a good build.
Post match here’s Michael Elgin to go after Tessa and Eddie but the knock him to the floor. A triple staredown ends the show.
Overall Rating: C-. This is a situation where they were doing a good job of building the big stuff for Rebellion but at the same time I’m not sure how much good the rest of the show did. The main event should be a heck of a fight though and Mack vs. Austin sounds interesting. I’m not sure about the rest of the show, but maybe the big stuff would have been enough to carry it. The lack of Rebellion is going to hurt, but maybe we can get to something better down the road.
Results
Josh Alexander b. Eddie Edwards – Rollup
Kylie Rae b. Cassandra Golden – STF
Moose b. Kid Kash – No Jackhammer Needed
Sami Callihan b. Tommy Dreamer – Cactus Special
Cody Deaner b. Joey Ryan – Deaner DDT
Tessa Blanchard b. Ethan Page – Magnum
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
ECW on TNN Date: October 6, 2000
Location: Roy Wilkins Auditorium, St. Paul, Minnesota
Attendance: 4,600
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner
We’ve finally arrived here and this show can’t wrap up fast enough. Raw is on the same channel, the show is turning into a bunch of previously aired matches and the stories aren’t interesting. ECW is mostly done at this point and to no one’s surprise, they wouldn’t last another six months. Anarchy Rulz saw Jerry Lynn get the World Title and little more so let’s get to it.
We open with the end of Sunday’s main event, which saw New Jack coming out to beat up heel referee Danny Daniels because that’s still going. Lynn won with a cradle Tombstone. Limp Bizkit playing over this (in the same video that ended Sunday’s show) doesn’t help.
We’ll see Cyrus vs. Joel Gertner from Sunday in full tonight.
Hotline ad. WCW might have been sold.
November To Remember ad.
Nova vs. Bilvis Wesley
Wesley has Tom Marquez and the Prodigette with him. It’s not a good sign when the ring still has the pay per view logo right in the middle. They trade headlocks to start until Nova sends him outside for a double baseball slide. Back in and Prodigette trips Nova so Wesley and Marquez can get in some shots behind the referee. Bilvis’ superplex is broken up and Nova hits a good Swanton for a two count. An even better looking enziguri gets the same, followed by Novacaine (Downward Spiral) with Prodigette pulling the referee out. Back up and Kryptonite Crunch ends Wesley.
Rating: D+. Yeah whatever. Here’s the thing: these are guys (well Nova at least) who should have been fighting for a title but since the TV Title is basically a co-World Title, they’re stuck running around with nothing to do. That’s the case for WAY too many people on the roster as ECW really didn’t need to have a lot of them around. Like for instance, what did Marquez and Prodigette ever add?
So at Anarchy Rulz, Gertner was supposed to fight Cyrus. However, Cyrus said Gertner had to beat EZ Money to get the scheduled match. Matchmaker Spike Dudley came out and said Kid Kash would fight Money in Gertner’s place. Now of course this isn’t important enough to explain on the TV show but here’s the match from Sunday (copied from the pay per view review because I’ve put WAY too much time into this show already).
Kid Kash vs. EZ Money
If Kash wins, Joel gets to fight Cyrus. Money jumps Kash before the bell but Kash comes back with some fast armdrags to send Money out to the floor. Hamrick and Dinero get nailed as well but the distraction lets Money sneak in from behind. Money picks up Kash for a suplex but lets him fall backwards and crash down to the mat for two. A charge goes badly for Money as he falls onto his partners, setting up huge springboard flip dive from Kash to take out everyone.
Back in and Money flips over the top rope into a clothesline for two and we hit the chinlock. Joel is screaming for Kash to get up with more emotion than he ever showed as the Dudleys’ manager. Money spends a bit too much time swiveling his hips and gets rolled up for two. A running tornado DDT gets the same for Kash but Money comes back with a spinning suplex neckbreaker (Electric Dreams, named after Elektra) for no cover.
Kash nails something like a Whisper in the Wind for two before they trade pinfall attempts for two each. There’s the Money Maker but Elektra distracts the referee, allowing Dinero to take Kash down. A double suplex has Kash in trouble and Hamrick adds a top rope legdrop for two. Money gets crotched on top but still manages to try a super bomb, only to have Kash reverse into a weak hurricanrana for the pin.
Rating: D+. The spots weren’t bad but if you’ve seen one Kid Kash match you’ve seen the all. As usual it was obvious that Kash was going to win here as Joel vs. Cyrus was almost guaranteed. If nothing else, Hot Commodity (Dinero/Hamrick/Money) could be a decent midcard heel stable and is far better than the Dangerous Alliance.
Post match Hot Commodity beats on Kash until Spike tries to make a save. They go after his leg and put him in a Figure Four but Sandman makes the real save. Elektra tries to seduce him but Sandman pours beer on her chest and shoves Gertner’s face onto the beer.
Joel Gertner vs. Cyrus
Joel jumps him to start before taking off his shirt to reveal Kamala (old Ugandan savage) chest paint. Cyrus trips him up and chops in the corner but Sandman spits beer in his face, allowing Gertner to get a rollup for the fluke pin. This was harmless fun.
Kash, Sandman, Gertner and Spike drink beer.
Rhino is the man Rob Van Dam never beat.
The FBI isn’t sure what to think of the Unholy Alliance but it doesn’t matter because they can beat the Alliance. Mamaluke was doing an Adam Sandler impression for no apparent reason.
The Alliance wants their titles back.
New Jack says he took himself out and wants Francine as his next trick. Oh and Rhino will wear a dress. This goes on WAY too long and the fact that I understood him makes it even worse.
Corino says it’s a man’s world and he wants another shot at the title.
Dawn Marie doesn’t have much to say.
Jerry Lynn is ready to defend the title every time he wrestles but here’s Justin to say he respects the new champ. Francine hits Jerry low and a beatdown takes us out.
Overall Rating: D+. Is there really a point in rating a six minute match and almost nothing else new? That’s it for ECW on TNN and really, the show probably should have ended six months ago. This was nothing to see and it felt like a last gasp from a promotion that knew it was dying and really didn’t care.
So that’s ECW on TNN and the show is hardly worth remembering. It kept ECW around for probably another year or so but that doesn’t mean it’s a good thing. ECW was WAY past its peak at this point and this entire series is far from what ECW was all about. The problems here are fairly clear but the lack of star power star power really hurt things. When everything is about hitting people with chairs and there’s almost no one to care about, no one is going to watch your show. TNN didn’t do the show any favors but ECW was hardly worth saving by the end.
At the end of the day, it’s just not a good show. So much of it was about ripping on TNN for not supporting them enough and while it’s true that the WWF was coming in no matter what, the show was often more about airing Heyman’s issues and not about the wrestling company. The Network angle wasn’t interesting for the most part and it was hardly worth following because very little ever happened. Overall though, it’s just nothing worth seeing because there’s better ECW out there. Watch some stuff from 1995 and forget that this show exists.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Anarchy Rulz 2000 (2014 Redo): He’s Not Rob Van Dam
Anarchy Rulz 2000
Date: October 1, 2000
Location: Roy Wilkins Auditorium, Saint Paul, Minnesota
Attendance: 4,600
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner
The card does seem to be a major improvement in some of ECW’s problem areas. While there’s nothing that is going to save the company in one night, this is a good step for them as Van Dam is finally doing something important again and maybe Lynn can get the major win that has eluded him for so long. Let’s get to it.
Joey and Joel are in the ring to open things up and Joel gets through his rhyme (sans swearing for once, this time about being with women of all races and thankfully not having 27 children) before throwing us to the opening video. More from them later.
Joey Matthews/Christian York vs. Roadkill/Danny Doring
Matthews (more famous as Joey Mercury) and York (didn’t do much after this other than showing up in TNA for an uneventful run thirteen years later) are young guys who could be described as pretty boys. Matthews and Doring get things going with Doring pulling on the hair to take over. The audio is a bit off here for some reason as Joel sounds like he’s a foot away from his microphone. Doring sends Joey face first into the mat before bringing in Roadkill to a very positive reaction. Off to York who gets taken down by a running shoulder but he comes back with some armdrags.
York counters a slingshot into the corner into a bouncing legdrop, only to have Roadkill pop up and slam both guys down. Matthews and York stay on the monster but Doring gets a hot tag and helps Roadkill with a Hart Attack to Joey. Doring is sent over the top rope and comes down on his arm, followed by double suicide dives from the young guys. Back inside and a double powerbomb drops Doring, but Matthews and York turn around into the springboard clothesline from Roadkill.
Danny nails a top rope elbow but York breaks it up with a top rope legdrop. A middle rope backsplash gets two for York but Doring escapes a headlock and hits the double arm DDT. There’s the hot tag to Roadkill who cleans house and splashes both guys in the corner before the Buggy Bang (wheelbarrow slam from Roadkill/top rope Fameasser combination) for the pin on York.
Rating: C. Nice match here as the tag team division continues to heat up, and for once there’s actually something for them to go after. Roadkill would be another guy that seems ready to push on his own, especially since most of the main eventers are regular sized guys. Being able to fly like he does is only a plus.
Roadkill and Doring help up Matthews and York in a nice display of sportsmanship. Simon and Swinger come in and clean house with chairs before leaving Doring laying. That sounds like a decent feud but they need to have something to fight over.
Joel Gertner has challenged Cyrus to a match tonight. His training method is eating Lucky Charms, though he’s been trained by an unnamed wrestler.
Cyrus comes out to the ring and says he’s ready for Gertner tonight. Everyone at TNN Center says that he’s got pop (the TNN slogan at the time) and he’s going to take Gertner apart. Joey sends Gertner to the ring. “You can do it! You can do it!” Gertner is out of earshot. Joey: “He’s a dead man.” Remember that Cyrus was a wrestler and actually knows what he’s doing. Gertner gets in the ring but Cyrus says Joel has to win another match to get it.
Joel Gertner vs. EZ Money
Money is part of the Hot Commodity stable, which went nowhere. It’s comprised of Money (a cruiserweight who would be in WCW in a few months), Chris Hamrick (a southern wrestler), Julio Dinero (he bounced around wrestling companies for a few years and is probably the most successful of the team) and Elektra. Before the match though, Commissioner Little Spike Dudley comes out and says Gertner has a replacement.
Kid Kash vs. EZ Money
If Kash wins, Joel gets to fight Cyrus. Money jumps Kash before the bell but Kash comes back with some fast armdrags to send Money out to the floor. Hamrick and Dinero get nailed as well but the distraction lets Money sneak in from behind. Money picks up Kash for a suplex but lets him fall backwards and crash down to the mat for two. A charge goes badly for Money as he falls onto his partners, setting up huge springboard flip dive from Kash to take out everyone.
Back in and Money flips over the top rope into a clothesline for two and we hit the chinlock. Joel is screaming for Kash to get up with more emotion than he ever showed as the Dudleys’ manager. Money spends a bit too much time swiveling his hips and gets rolled up for two. A running tornado DDT gets the same for Kash but Money comes back with a spinning suplex neckbreaker (Electric Dreams, named after Elektra) for no cover.
Kash nails something like a Whisper in the Wind for two before they trade pinfall attempts for two each. There’s the Money Maker but Elektra distracts the referee, allowing Dinero to take Kash down. A double suplex has Kash in trouble and Hamrick adds a top rope legdrop for two. Money gets crotched on top but still manages to try a super bomb, only to have Kash reverse into a weak hurricanrana for the pin.
Rating: D+. The spots weren’t bad but if you’ve seen one Kid Kash match you’ve seen the all. As usual it was obvious that Kash was going to win here as Joel vs. Cyrus was almost guaranteed. If nothing else, Hot Commodity could be a decent midcard heel stable and is far better than the Dangerous Alliance.
Post match Hot Commodity beats on Kash until Spike tries to make a save. They go after his leg and put him in a Figure Four but Sandman makes the real save. Elektra tries to seduce him but Sandman pours beer on her chest and shoves Gertner’s face onto the beer.
Joel Gertner vs. Cyrus
Joel jumps him to start before taking off his shirt to reveal Kamala (old Ugandan savage) chest paint. Cyrus trips him up and chops in the corner but Sandman spits beer in his face, allowing Gertner to get a rollup for the fluke pin. This was harmless fun.
Kash, Sandman, Gertner and Spike drink beer.
Da Baldies vs. Balls Mahoney/Chilly Willy
Willy is just a muscular guy who showed up near the end of the promotion and wrestled on pay per view a few times. There’s not much else to say about him other than he wore a hat and danced a lot. It’s a brawl to start with Da Baldies get laid out and nailed with double neckbreakers. Balls stabs DeVito in the head with a fork as Angel and Willy fight on the floor. DeVito is busted open as you would expect and a backdrop puts him into the crowd.
Balls bites at the cut and whips him through another barricade right under the announcers’ area. DeVito flips off the announcers for no apparent reason before moonsaulting off I believe a wall. Angel and Willy show up next to them with Chilly getting powerbombed on some chairs. DeVito takes Balls back to the ring for a dropkick but makes the mistake of going after his head.
Mahoney comes back with a series of punches and a superkick to the shoulder. A huge chair shot knocks DeVito senseless but Angel comes back in with the staple gun to the eye. Chilly comes back in and Da Baldies hit three straight chair shots to both of their opponents’ heads for the pin. Mahoney only sells the staple after the match is over.
Rating: D. This was your usual garbage brawl with no wrestling and an overly violent ending. Mahoney not being phased by the staple was the usual nonsense you would expect by something like this, but it doesn’t make up for how ridiculous it was, or how bad this match really was.
Lou E. Dangerously lays out Gertner with his phone. Joey goes after him and we cut to interviews.
Justin Credible says he’ll take out Jerry Lynn just like he’s done to everyone else.
Jerry Lynn says he’s tired of being a starmaker so tonight, in his hometown, he’s making himself World Champion.
Cyrus replaces Joel on commentary.
C.W. Anderson vs. Steve Corino
Winner gets a World Title shot at some point in the future, even though they’re both on pay per view losing streaks. Corino has turned face and now has Dawn Marie with him. They trade shoulders to start but Corino can’t get a neckbreaker. Instead they trade armdrags and duck punches to get us to a standoff. They chop it out with Corino getting the better of it, only to get taken down by a superkick.
Chairs are brought in and Corino gets in a quick shot to the head to take over. C.W. is busted open and a kick to the face makes things worse. We hear about a recent match where Corino almost beat Justin for the World Title which is one of the few reasons why Corino is in this spot despite his win/loss record. Anderson nails Corino with the chair to take over and bust Steve open. Anderson wedges a chair in the corner and sends Corino arm first into the steel to give him a target.
Corino tries to fight back with one arm but a hammerlock belly to back suplex gets two. Anderson stomps onto the chair onto the arm and kicks Corino in the face as the blood starts to flow. It’s nowhere near as bad as it was before but it’s coming. Steve fights back with right hands but the Old School Expulsion is countered into a suplex.
Anderson’s sleeper is broken when Corino crotches him on the chair. A Bionic Elbow and low blow have Corino in control but Simon and Swinger come out for a distraction. C.W.’s big left hand gets two and Steve’s superkick gets the same. The spinebuster is countered into the Old School Expulsion on the chair to make Corino #1 contender.
Rating: C-. The match wasn’t bad but I have no idea why I should buy Corino as a #1 contender because he’s beaten a midcard guy. Corino is good in the ring and more interesting as a face than a heel, but it’s too soon for him to be in the World Title picture. It’s a good enough match, but either Simon and Swinger are messing with everyone or they’ve forgotten that they already have a feud.
The Sinister Minister is with the Unholy Alliance and their book on witchcraft sets itself on fire.
Rhino says he wants this match with Van Dam because he wants to prove how great he is. God won’t be able to recognize Van Dam after Rhino beats his face so bad.
Tag Team Titles: FBI vs. Unholy Alliance
The FBI (Mamaluke and Guido) are defending. They’re now all Italians, turning them from the comedy act they used to be into a fully serious group and defeating the purpose of putting them together in the face place. Both members of the Alliance (Tajiri and Mikey Whipwreck) are in white masks with red paint around the eyes. Mikey one ups Tajiri though with a hat from Sorcerer’s Apprentice. Mamaluke’s weight is given in liquid ounces.
It’s a brawl to start of course with the challengers taking over. Some hard kicks to the head have the Italians in big trouble and stereo dropkicks below the belt have the Italians reeling. Things settle down to Guido vs. Tajiri as Mikey posts Big Sal on the floor. Mamaluke gets put in the Tree of Woe for the running baseball slide from Tajiri. Sinister Minister adds some fire between Mamaluke’s legs and Guido gets kicked in the chest a lot.
Mikey hammers away on Tony but Mamaluke hits him low to take over. The Italians hit a double powerbomb out of the corner for two on Whipwreck. Guido’s middle rope Fameasser (Sicilian Slice) gets two on Mikey but he catches Tony in a wheelbarrow facebuster. Tajiri comes in and cleans house with kicks to the head, only to get caught in a German suplex from Mamaluke. Guido breaks up Mikey’s rollup with a legdrop but gets the green mist to the face.
The Whippersnapper gets two as Big Sal pulls the referee to the floor. The Minister tries to go after Sal and gets crushed against the barricade. Guido sends Mikey outside and Sal throws in a belt, only to have Tajiri take it away and pelt it at Sal. An Asai Moonsault puts Sal down again but Guido nails Mikey with a title belt, setting up a kind of double powerbomb for the pin to retain.
Rating: C+. The match was so much better because it actually meant something. Just having the title back is a great feeling and now all those other matches could build up to another title match. I have no idea why Heyman waited so long to bring the belts back but it came at a good time with the tag division being deeper than it has been in years.
TV Title: Rhino vs. Rob Van Dam
Rhino, the champion, jumps Van Dam during the introductions and they quickly go outside. Both guys are whipped into the barricade but Rhino knocks him into the fans. They brawl around the arena with Rhino in full control and sending Rob through another barricade. Back to ringside and Rob nails a quick kick to the head followed by a Van Daminator with Alfonso’s help. Rob dives over the top rope to take Rhino down again.
Back in and Van Dam skateboards the chair into Rhino’s face but a springboard is knocked out of the air with a middle rope clothesline for two. The Gore in the corner puts Rob down but Rhino stops to set up a table on the floor. A second table is thrown into the ring and set up in the corner but Rhino puts on a chinlock. Back up and Rob nails a spinning kick to the face but comes up with a bloody nose. A Van Daminator misses and Rhino pelts the chair at Van Dam’s head to make things even worse.
Rob comes up with a fireman’s carry slam into a middle rope moonsault (so much for the selling) followed by the Five Star for two. A telling sign: the fans didn’t move because they know a main event match isn’t ending that early. The Gore puts Rob down and the piledriver through the table wakes the fans up a bit. Back in and Rob nails a quick Van Daminator and loads up the Van Terminator but Justin Credible runs out for a distraction. Rob tries the Terminator anyway but Rhino pulls Alfonso in the way. A Gore through the table and a piledriver onto the chair retains Rhino’s title.
Rating: C-. This was nowhere near what it should have been for a few reasons. First and foremost, the match was a big spotfest with only a little wrestling in between. It also doesn’t help that the ending was one of the last things the fans wanted to see. Now that being said, it makes Rhino look like even more of a monster than before and in theory sets up Rob vs. Justin for the title, which should be a walkover for Van Dam. This is ECW though and by late 2000 Rob still hasn’t been World Champion, so I don’t have the highest hopes.
Rob checks on Alfonso after the match and realizes how bad he might be hurt.
We look at a lot of replays and Joey claims a fast count. That may be the case, but ECW referees always counted their pins faster than the average referee.
The announcers hype up the main event to kill more time.
ECW World Title: Jerry Lynn vs. Justin Credible
Justin is defending and comes out in a Bret Favre Green Bay Packers jersey (big rival to the Minnesota Vikings) for the easy heat. Francine has taped up ribs. Lynn is the hometown boy and gets the reaction to go with it. They start slow and head to the mat where an armdrag frustrates Justin out to the floor for an argument with a fan. Back in and they trade chops with Lynn getting the better of it. Neither guy can hit their finisher so Jerry settles for a middle rope bulldog and a headlock.
Justin is sent to the floor again for Lynn’s big dive off the top but he might have hurt his elbow. Back in and a swinging Boss Man Slam from the champion puts both guys down again. We get a chair brought in for the drop toehold onto its back to give Justin two. A sitout powerbomb out of the corner onto the chair gets the same and the fight heads up the aisle. Justin hammers away by the barricade and it’s back inside the ring.
Lynn grabs a DDT to plant Justin on the chair for a delayed two. Credible comes back with a front facelock as the fans get on his nerves. He stops and grabs a mic to talk trash about Lynn and Minneapolis, causing the fans to throw in a bunch of beer cups. Back to the front facelock after that minute and a half were wasted. They trade near falls for two each until Justin hits that running release DDT to take over.
Lynn kicks the chair into Justin’s face to get a breather but gets sent to the apron, only to come back with a jumping leg to the back of Justin’s head, driving the champion throat first across the middle rope. A guillotine legdrop gets two for Lynn and it’s table time. Justin gets laid on the table but Francine offers a distraction to allow Justin to slam Lynn through the table. A sunset bomb out of the corner gets two for Credible but he walks into the cradle piledriver for another near fall.
That’s Incredible gives Justin two and the fans are right back into this. Credible superkicks the referee down by mistake but Lynn rolls him up. The same referee that Joey said gave a fast count on Van Dam comes in and counts two but stops and waves his finger at Lynn. A belt shot to the head gets a fast two on Lynn and the crooked referee nails Lynn in the head. That’s Incredible gets two more as New Jack comes out for the save. The crooked referee and Lynn counters That’s Incredible into a cradle tombstone for the pin and the title.
Rating: C-. The match was ok but it has a lot of issues. Above all else, this would have meant a lot more if it came about a year and a half ago. ECW completely missed the boat on Lynn when he was on fire and now it’s a nice but mostly meaningless moment. Second, beating Justin Credible makes me wonder what took so long to get there. The guy just did not belong in the main event and everyone seemed to know it. The match itself was just ok with way more overbooking than needed, especially with the story they were trying to tell. At least Lynn will have some good matches as champion though.
The locker room empties out for Lynn to give a speech but the microphone doesn’t work. Instead everyone just stands around to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. The show wasn’t the worst I’ve seen in the series but it’s certainly not a good entry either. The problem here is there’s nothing interesting going on until the ending. Almost everything here feels like it was just thrown together, which is likely true due to the impending cancellation of the show. Lynn getting the title is a good idea, but the fans still see Van Dam as the top guy, and there’s no reason he’s not at worst a former World Champion at this point. You can see that things are dying and it’s not likely to get much better.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
ECW on TNN – September 29, 2000: Last Week Tonight
ECW on TNN Date: September 29, 2000
Location: The Icenter, Salem, New Hampshire
Attendance: 1,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner
The show is on borrowed time as Monday Night Raw has debuted on the same network so this episode really doesn’t mean anything. It’s the go home show for Anarchy Rulz but at the same time it’s featuring a three way dance for the ECW World Title with Justin Credible defending against Jerry Lynn and Steve Corino. Let’s get to it.
Lou E. Dangerously cuts off the intro and says he wrote all of Joel’s material. They even made him a Dudley and now he’ll be the death of Joel Gertner. Joel goes on a rant about how he never liked Lou in any of his characters. Now Lou is the Network’s music consultant and gay jokes are made. The “fight” is on with Joel slapping him into the corner, only to have Cyrus come in for the beatdown. Joey actually makes the save and thank goodness this isn’t the WWF or we’d get a tag match.
Opening sequence.
Joey threatens violence if Lou interferes on Sunday. Egads I’m shaking in my….well I’m not wearing shoes but I wouldn’t be shaking in them even if I was.
Here’s the whole Kid Kash vs. Rhino TV Title match from last week, plus the post match brawl with Van Dam.
Rhino dreams of breaking Van Dam’s neck.
ECW World Title: Justin Credible vs. Jerry Lynn vs. Steve Corino
Justin is defending and we see the entrances for the second week in a row. We take a break and come back for the big match intros as they might as well just put up a test patterns for all the time they’re killing here. Justin gets double teamed to start and all three wind up on the floor. Back in and Justin puts both guys down so it’s time for a chair and some swearing.
Corino fights back as this is getting a lot less heat than you would expect. Now it’s Jerry firing off right hands onto Justin’s head to bust him open. Everyone fights into the crowd for a few seconds and all three are bleeding. There’s just nothing to talk about here and it’s getting more and more obvious every second. The referee gets bumped as Jerry hits the cradle piledriver on Justin.
Cue heel referee Danny Daniels to count two and stop, allowing Justin to hit That’s Incredible……and now the referees start fighting. Of course they do. A superkick sends Jerry into another That’s Incredible for the first elimination. Way to make the #1 contender seem important ECW. So we’re down to one on one but let’s pause for Jack Victory and Francine’s interaction which goes nowhere.
Corino chops away until Justin hits him low, allowing Francine to tape him to the top rope. As in WHERE JUSTIN CAN’T PIN HIM. Well done Francine. Justin canes him a few times for two more as the fans want Sandman. Old School Expulsion on the chair gets two more with Francine making the save so here’s Dawn Marie for the catfight. Gah JUST END THIS ALREADY! That’s Incredible retains Credible’s title.
Rating: D+. Here’s the problem: why should I care about any of these guys? Lynn is the guy who has never won anything, Corino’s big deal is that he was a comedy jobber a few months ago and Credible is as uninteresting of a champion as you can find. The brawling was fine, even though they’ve made no secret of the fact that Lynn is getting the title on Sunday, making this overbooked mess a big waste of time.
CW Anderson is looking for Steve Corino and beats up Jack Victory to set up a #1 contenders match with Steve on Sunday.
Justin says he’ll beat Jerry.
Lynn is tired of making everyone else so he’ll make himself this time.
Overall Rating: D. When you have to air last week’s match to fill in time, you’ve reached the point of cutting the cord. I know it doesn’t warrant mentioning tonight as they’ve basically canceled the program at this point but the main event is where it is because of their love affair with the TV Title. Rhino might as well be World Champion at this point and it basically left the main event a glorified midcard title match. This company is clearly ready to die and it’s getting really hard to sit through these shows.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
ECW on TNN – September 22, 2000: Dudley Do-Right Wouldn’t Stand For This
ECW on TNN Date: September 22, 2000
Location: Hershey Centre, Mississauga, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles
You really can see that this show is in trouble and the fact that Monday Night Raw is debuting on TNN three days after this show doesn’t make things look promising. They don’t have a major storyline at the moment other than Justin Credible defending the ECW World Title against Jerry Lynn in about two weeks on pay per view. Let’s get to it.
Joey and Joel are happy to be making their Canadian debut and we get to hear about Joel being maple syrup flavored. Then it’s Jerry Lynn coming out for a chat but Justin Credible interrupts in a hurry. That doesn’t go very far either as Steve Corino comes out to interrupt. Corino yells at Lynn for using his blood as body art (a fair complaint) and at Credible for cheating to retain the title. A challenge is issued to both guys but here’s Spike Dudley (still in charge despite Heyman showing up a few weeks ago) to interrupt again.
Tonight it’s going to be a three way dance for the title, which I would normally complain about but it’s not like this show has anything to build towards for the future. Spike has a guest referee in mind, only to have Rhino come out with a Gore before the anything can be announced. Cue New Jack of all people for the big garbage segment. Apparently he’s the guest referee because that makes sense. Jack hits Justin low with a vacuum cleaner and loads up the staple gun, only to have Justin and Rhino get up for the double team.
Clips of Kid Kash vs. Mikey Whipwreck from Hardcore TV with Rhino interfering and laying both guys out. That sets up the following.
TV Title: Kid Kash vs. Rhino
Kash is defending and this is joined in progress with Kash sending him outside for a dive over the barricade. So wait is this on Hardcore TV or ECW on TNN? It’s already time for a table but Kash mostly stumbles through a springboard hurricanrana before Rhino can use it. Kash springboards into a flip dive to the floor (no mats of course because they’re too hardcore for things like protecting their wrestlers) for two back inside. The table is set up in the corner and a Gore cuts Kash down. Another Gore through the table gives Rhino the title back.
Rating: D. Well that happened and now we get Rhino vs. Van Dam III for the title at the pay per view. Giving Kash the title for two weeks was fine enough, albeit not the best option when they could have put it on a bunch of different people for a more interesting result. At least it’s a rub though and that’s very important for them right now.
Post match Rhino calls out Van Dam who comes out and no sells a Gore until security breaks it up.
Chris Hamrick vs. Nova
They don’t waste time here as Elektra and Jazz get in a catfight about thirty seconds in. Nova walks into a clothesline but grabs a quick Kryptonite Crunch (White Noise) for the pin in about a minute.
Post match Chris Chetti comes in to beat on Nova and Jazz. Chetti is tired of being held back when he’s the only real athlete in that locker room. He claims to swing a chair better than anyone here so it’s time for Balls Mahoney to chase him off. Now Da Baldies come out to beat on Balls because just two run-ins aren’t enough. Let’s make it four as Chilly Willy comes in for the real save.
Tag Team Titles: FBI vs. Danny Doring/Roadkill
FBI is defending. Guido and Doring get things going as the announcers discuss Cyrus vs. Gertner for the pay per view. We get an early standoff and Doring is livid over something. Tony comes in and the fans lose their minds over the idea of Roadkill coming in as well. It’s actually more technical wrestling until Roadkill throws Tony right into the arms of Big Sal.
Tony armdrags him down but gets his chest sat on in the eternally stupid sunset flip attempt. Guido tries his luck to about the same avail as it’s a World’s Strongest Slam and Vader Bomb elbow for two from the big man. Everything breaks down and Doring misses a big dive to the floor. Roadkill shrugs off some double teaming but Big Sal gets in a cheap shot to slow Doring down.
That advantage lasts all of ten seconds as a low blow breaks up Guido’s Kiss of Death. The hot tag brings in Roadkill for the house cleaning spot (smart given his ridiculous popularity) and everything breaks down. The Buggy Bang only gets two as Sal pulls the referee out. Roadkill gets shoved off the top through a table and it’s Doring getting splashed by Sal to retain the titles.
Rating: C. You have all those good tag teams and an effective tag team tournament but for some reason we get the rather lame FBI as the champions for reasons that aren’t clear. The problem is they’re just a basic team and that’s not enough when you have all those other options available.
ECW World Title: Justin Credible vs. Jerry Lynn vs. Steve Corino
Justin is defending……next week. We get all three entrances as the show ends. Oh come on with the false advertising.
Overall Rating: D+. It’s really hard to get mad at this show when there’s so little going on all the time around here. The wrestling was mostly from other shows or a way to keep the Tag Team Titles on one of the worst possible options. I was actually looking forward to that three way but nah, let’s just say it’s tonight and do it next week instead. That’s not exactly classy, no matter how bad a place they’re in at the moment.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
ECW on TNN Date: September 8, 2000
Location: Hammerstein Ballroom, New York City, New York
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles
We’re still in New York and that’s a good thing based on the atmosphere alone. It’s a double title defense week as the new Tag Team Champions Tajiri and Mikey Whipwreck will defend against the FBI while Rhino will defend the TV Title against Kid Kash. Above all else though, it’s just nice to have Tag Team Champions who can defend their titles. Let’s get to it.
Joel and Joey do their thing and Joel talks about various women he’s had in New York. Cue Cyrus to say this show is canceled, drawing a USA chant. Cyrus goes on a rant about how horrible New Yorkers are as the announcer tease fighting him. Paul Heyman runs in for a phone shot to the head, only to have Rhino come out and put Paul through a table. A fan runs in so Rhino beats up a cop. The locker room empties out for a huge brawl and the roster body surfs Kid Kash over to Rhino for the TV Title match.
TV Title: Rhino vs. Kid Kash
Rhino is defending and ignore the other twenty people in the ring. Sandman does his big entrance as everyone else gets on the floor. We FINALLY get back to the ring as Rhino has choked Kash down in the corner, leaving Sandman to cane the champ in the head over and over. Rhino Gores him out to the floor and Kash does a big flip dive onto most of the roster.
Back in and Kash gets Gored, only to have Rob Van Dam come out for a Van Daminator (with Rhino just standing there and catching the chair like a moron). A Van Terminator sets up a Five Star/guillotine legdrop combo to give Kash the title. There’s no way I’m rating this as Kash and Rhino interacted for all of thirty seconds of this “match”, a good chunk of which was spent on Sandman’s entrance and the roster getting back to its feet.
Back from a break and let’s recap the first third of the show.
On the streets of Time Square, the Sinister Minister says he hasn’t slept since 1972 and he spends all that time thinking of evil thoughts. The FBI has been cursed so Tajiri and Mikey will be ready to keep their titles. Tajiri speaks Spanish and everyone laughs.
Blue Boy vs. Balls Mahoney
Joined in progress with Balls hammering away until a back elbow slows him down. The fans are all over St. Clair here as the referee shoves Boy down. The Ball Breaker sets up the New Jersey Jam (top rope legdrop) but Balls kisses Jasmin instead of covering. I’m sure you can imagine the jokes that Joel is firing off here. A big chair shot puts Blue Boy away.
Rating: D-. This was just a way for the fans to make blue ball jokes (How did Joel not get one in?) and fill in some time. I’m sure this was entertaining for ECW fans but this show hasn’t exactly been heavy on the wrestling quality in the first place and it’s only getting worse as the show goes on.
Jasmin hits Balls with the weakest chair shots of all time so he gives her a Nutcracker Sweet.
Video on Danny Daniels (referee) costing Jerry Lynn some matches.
Da Baldies throw people out of the ECW New York bar. Angel steals a man’s prosthetic leg.
Tag Team Titles: Tajiri/Mikey Whipwreck vs. FBI
The FBI is challenging and they have to split up if they lose. Tony and Mikey get things going and the announcers go for the easy fat jokes about Big Sal. We start with a wrestling sequence and Tony grabs a short armscissors. Joey: “I haven’t seen one of those in a long time.” Joel: “Open your eyes. There’s one going on right now.” It’s off to Tajiri vs. Guido for a nice ovation as the fans are going to remember something that worked so well multiple times.
A quick strike off gives us a stalemate so it’s back to Tony. That just means a loud kick to the head before the champs flip Tony over, sending him head first into the mat. Stereo kicks to the head set up stereo STF’s to make the FBI tap, which doesn’t count for reasons unclear. Tajiri moonsaults onto all three Italians and it’s table time. Using Sal as a launch pad, Mikey dives onto Tony and Guido.
It’s all champions so far, making me almost certain that they’re losing the belts here. More chair shots to the head have the Italians reeling and something like a Conchairto makes things even worse for Guido. An Italian chair shot FINALLY slows Mikey down and the challengers are suddenly just fine because long term selling isn’t a thing in ECW.
Mikey comes right back with a tilt-a-whirl reverse powerbomb to send Tony throat first across the top rope in a sweet counter. The hot tag brings in Tajiri to clean house with a chair, followed by a Whippersnapper through a table. Sal gets blinded but is still able to hit a superkick, setting up the Kiss of Death onto a chair to give Guido the pin on Tajiri.
Rating: D+. Well that happened. The story here, if you can call it that, was basically the Italians get beaten up, then they beat up the champs for a few seconds, only to have a lot of cheating give them the belts. I’m really not a fan of this kind of match but at least there was wrestling involved instead of the usual nonsense. I mean, other than acting like Big Sal is there for anything other than comedy of course.
Overall Rating: D-. After a few weeks of ECW starting to look better, they go right back to their old standards with this mess. This was a bunch of throwing everything out the window and doing whatever they wanted in less than an hour because it gets them towards their pay per view without having to put in any of the effort. The lack of almost any wrestling for the sake of brawling doesn’t make it any better. I couldn’t stand this show and it was every bad thing ECW is known for in one show.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
ECW on TNN – August 25, 2000: Evil Referees Are Dumb
ECW on TNN Date: August 18, 2000
Location: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,400
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles
The big story continues to be the upcoming Tag Team Title tournament which is taking place a week from this show. You would think they could schedule it sooner but the belts have already been vacant for four months so it’s not like it really makes much of a difference at this point. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Joel and Joey are doing their thing when we cut to Rhino, who grabs Francine by the hair to show us her broken nose. Justin Credible gets in his face so Rhino says he’d be champion if he had the chance. Injuries are promised and we get no explanation for who hurt Francine, though it’s treated like something we’re supposed to know.
Jerry Lynn vs. Bilvis Wesley
Lynn is suddenly #1 contender. Actually hang on a second as the referee grabs the mic. Apparently he’s not happy with Lynn for running into him every single time he referees Jerry’s matches. There’s a bounty on Jerry so the referee might want to claim it. The referee gets dropped so here’s Rhino to Gore Jerry Lynn through a table and then leave. Jerry fights off Tom Marquez before the cradle piledriver knocks Bilvis silly. The original referee gets up though and calls a DQ for Jerry hitting him again.
The Prodigette tries to interfere and gets a piledriver of her own. I have no idea what the point of any of this was.
Tajiri vs. Psicosis
This is from Hardcore TV for reasons that aren’t entirely clear. They’re quickly on the mat with Tajiri putting on a Brock Lock but getting flipped into a cover for two. The match is clipped (Why is this happening?) to a fast sequence and a bunch of one counts. Another clip takes us to a sweet pinfall reversal sequence and a third takes us to Psicosis crashing out to the floor thanks to a missed dive.
Another clip means we see Psicosis diving over the top to take Tajiri out again. Clipped, yet again, to a baseball slide into Psicosis’ face as he’s caught in the Tree of Woe. Tajiri hits a Stunner for two and….well you know what happens by this point. Clipped again to a Psicosis getting two off a guillotine legdrop, setting up some kicks to give Tajiri the pin. WAY too much clipping here for it to be rated but what we saw was fun.
Tajiri is in Sinister Minister’s clothes as Minister talks about crossing a line. Mikey Whipwreck comes in with balloons on his hands and sounding like Chris Farley. This show makes my head hurt very badly. Thankfully Tajiri and the Minister are confused as well.
More Hardcore TV clips of Roadkill/Danny Doring/Tommy Dreamer vs. CW Anderson/Simon and Swinger. There’s more clipping here but less action as the match was cut off for a posedown, including Roadkill doing Hogan’s poses. A wild brawl broke out and the Buggy Bang puts Swinger away.
Justin Credible/Rhino vs. Kid Kash/Rob Van Dam
Apparently Francine’s nose was broken last night at a house show. Well that’s more of an explanation than I was expecting. Kash and Credible start things off and a headscissors sends the champ off to a tag to Rhino. That means it’s time for Kash’s first hurricanrana which staggers Rhino far more than it should. Rob gets the tag and fires off some kicks before Kash has to save him from a gorilla press.
Back to back dives to the floor take the villains out again and everyone is down. Justin gets in his one non-finishing move, the superkick, to take over on Kash before handing it off to Rhino to do the work. Kash finally moonsaults onto Justin to put them both down and slides over for the tag to Van Dam. That means it’s time for a chair as everything breaks down, only to have Rhino clean house again.
Van Dam kicks Rhino in the face and drops Kash into a legdrop for two. A low blow breaks up Justin’s superplex on Kash and sets up a HORRIBLY botched super hurricanrana as Justin is dropped onto his head. The Five Star gets no cover as Rob goes up again, only to get caned by Justin. The Moneymaker plants Justin and there goes the referee. Rhino piledrives Kash through a table and of course here’s Sandman because this feud just won’t end. Sandman canes Rhino a few times until Justin canes Sandman from behind. Now it’s Steve Corino coming in to superkick Rhino, setting up the Van Terminator for the pin.
Rating: D. So the big deal is that Van Dam finally pinned Rhino and it only took four people to do it. If this is the best thing ECW can come up with, then they’re in more trouble than I was thinking coming in. It’s also going to be even harder to care about Van Dam vs. Rhino on pay per view as we’ve seen it twice on free TV already but that doesn’t seem to matter to the company.
Overall Rating: D-. I’m really not sure what this show was supposed to be. We had a weird angle at the beginning, two clipped matches from another TV show and a long main event with an angle that doesn’t really mean much. We’ve got about six weeks before Anarchy Rulz and I’m really not sure what I’m supposed to be excited about. Jerry Lynn getting a World Title shot in his home state? That’s the best they’ve got? Is there any reason we’re not getting Rob Van Dam as World Champion already? Bad show this week as they’re getting more bizarre than better.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IH7O904
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
ECW on TNN – August 18, 2000: We’re Actually Doing Something!
ECW on TNN Date: August 18, 2000
Location: War Memorial, Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner
We’re coming up on the Tag Team Title tournament and it’s actually making for an interesting story. Almost everyone is involved in the tournament, setting up a bunch of mini feuds as we head into the big night. On top of that the Network seems to have split up, which means we’re ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING. Let’s get to it.
We see Simon and Swinger helping CW Anderson beat Tommy Dreamer on Hardcore TV, setting up Danny Doring and Roadkill to make the save. The heels beat them down though and planted Jazz with a Problem Solver.
Rob Van Dam says he’s fighting Rhino tonight for the first time since he broke his ankle (no) and it’s time for a beating.
Opening sequence.
Lou E. Dangerously is in the ring with Cyrus as his guest. Cyrus rants about Steve Corino turning his back on the Network and here are Corino and Anton to interrupt. Corino doesn’t get to say anything as Cyrus says Corino was just an opening match comedy act and a mark for the business.
Then Corino got over with the people (I know ECW isn’t your normal wrestling promotion but I can’t stand it when that kind of lingo is used on TV.) and thought it was all because of the blood he’s shed. Corino swears a bit as Gertner talks about sperm. This sets up a match between Corino/Anton vs. Cyrus/Lou E. And never mind as Anton turns on Corino for a SWERVE that everyone could see coming because they’re not stupid.
FBI vs. Psicosis/Tajiri/Mikey Whipwreck
Tony and Mikey start things off and this is already starting to look like another wrestling show. It’s already off to Guido for an inverted Fujiwara armbar (Would that hurt?) as the heels (who seem to be popular) take over. The tag brings in Psicosis to face Big Sal, who is immediately taken down because he’s a big fat tub of goo.
Some kicks to the head knock him silly and a bunch of dives take down the Italians. Back in and some kicks to the head get two on Tony but he comes right back with a DDT. Guido scores with a clothesline but eats a Whippersnapper as this match is dying. Everything breaks down and Tajiri mists Psicosis by mistake. Guido hits a quick Kiss of Death for the pin on Tajiri.
Rating: D+. This wasn’t so much a bad match as much as it was really dull. I get that it’s designed to set up something later on but the FBI isn’t interesting as they’re no longer comedy instead of just kind of there. That’s a major problem around here: people who don’t have a purpose and are only around for the sake of being around.
ECW World Title: Justin Credible vs. Kid Kash
Justin is defending in a rematch from last week. Kash gets a quick two off a spinning sunset flip to send Justin outside for an early breather. That means a lot of swearing and censoring of something that probably isn’t worthy of swearing and censoring. Justin throws a chair at Kash who sits down in the middle of the ring. A double springboard hurricanrana sends Justin outside again, setting up a huge dive off the top. Standard Kid Kash so far.
Back in and a good looking superkick (That’s our Justin!) drops Kash. A chinlock doesn’t go anywhere so Joel asks if Joey is gay for not wanting to sleep with Francine. Kash DDT’s the champ on the chair for two and there’s the ref bump. Before I can say “get Rhino out here so Van Dam can make the save”, Rhino comes out for the beatdown on Kash and Van Dam makes the save.
That’s Incredible is broken up and Kash hits the Moneymaker but the referee is still down and likely in a coma at this point. There’s a Gore for Kash so here’s Rob for the second save, only to have Justin kick out at a very close two. Francine blasts Kash with the kendo stick and a super That’s Incredible retains the title.
Rating: D+. Who thought this needed a rematch? I’m really not a fan of either guy and all the overbooking didn’t help things. At least I can finally keep track of who wants to fight who and why they want to do it but that doesn’t mean the wrestling is anything worth seeing. The ending never being in doubt didn’t help either.
TV Title: Rhino vs. Rob Van Dam
Rhino is defending and jumps Van Dam during his long entrance. They’re quickly in the crowd with Rhino in control as Bill Alfonso won’t stop with the stupid whistle. The Gore against the barricade makes things even worse for Van Dam as this is one sided so far. They get inside for the first time with a wicked powerbomb planting Van Dam again for no cover.
Rob FINALLY scores with a stepover kick and both guys are down. Van Dam skateboards a chair into Rhino’s face and a middle rope moonsault gets two. The Van Daminator sets up the Five Star but here’s Justin to break up the cover and throw the match out because you knew this wasn’t going to end clean.
Rating: C-. Again, WHY IS THIS NOT ON PAY PER VIEW??? This should be a major showdown but instead of drawing money, we’ve seen it twice in a row for the sake of popping a rating (by ECW standards of course) and this is what we’re stuck with as a result. Oh and more Justin because we haven’t seen enough of him lately.
Kid Kash fails at a save attempt so Sandman makes the real one to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. I stand by my stance that Justin Credible is just crippling this show every single week. What in the world is supposed to be interesting about him? Someone taking the title off of him? That’s fine in theory, but don’t you need someone to be interesting before beating them matters? Justin continues to be the worst part of the show and unfortunately he’s also one of the focal points. No wonder I’m so sick of this show.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IH7O904
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
ECW on TNN Date: August 11, 2000
Location: Huntington Civic Center, Huntington, West Virginia
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner
We’re getting close to wrapping this show up and it’s back to the country after a week down in Houston. The big story coming out of last week is an actual match being announced for the Tag Team Title tournament with Sandman/Chilly Willy vs. Rhino/Justin Credible. Of course no date has been announced for that match but I doubt ECW knows either. Let’s get to it.
Lou E. Dangerously is in the ring to insult the West Virginia fans, who pelt the ring with garbage as a result. This is a ripoff of Paul Heyman’s old Danger Zone segment. After a quick jump to the announcers for an intro, Lou brings out Steve Corino and Scotty Anton. Lou rants about the Tag Team Title tournament before Corino says he doesn’t give a CENSORED what the Network feels.
They helped win the Network its titles and have been protecting the Network since day one. Cue Justin, who Steve says would be nothing without the two of them. Corino and Credible both claim credit for Justin’s title reign lasting before Steve goes nuclear by saying Justin has a lame catchphrase. Rhino comes out and Gores Anton, leaving Corino to get double teamed. Security breaks it up. So is the Network done now? I’d be ok with that.
Opening sequence.
Corino and Anton are leaving when Lou comes up and asks what Cyrus will think. Steve doesn’t care and they leave with Jack Victory.
Justin Credible and Kid Kash get in an argument, setting up a title match for later tonight.
Roadkill/Danny Doring vs. Tom Marquez/Bilvis Wesley
Marquez stupidly thinks he can slam Roadkill to start, which pretty much sums up the whole match. A Vader Bomb elbow sets up a Hart Attack as Joey and Joel make Elvis jokes. We get a quick chase around the ring until Marquez catches Doring with a spinwheel kick. Wesley puts on a Muta Lock of all things and Doring stays in trouble thanks to some double teaming.
Doring finally hits a Stroke (the G Spot Sweet because we’re in ECW) and the hot tag brings in Roadkill. You really can hear a pop when Roadkill comes in and that needs to be noticed. I know he’s not your typical ECW guy but the fans dig him and that’s important. Everything breaks down and the Buggy Bang (wheelbarrow slam/guillotine legdrop) ends Marquez.
Rating: C+. This is the kind of thing you don’t get enough of around here: a basic tag match with the bigger team going over but only after taking a beating. It’s nothing great or anything but it was wrestling instead of brawling and that really needs to happen more often. Roadkill and Doring are a good act and hopefully they go somewhere in the tournament.
Sinister Minister tries to teach Tajiri about temptation with a good looking woman. She winds up getting mist in the face and you can figure out the joke yourself. You could see her face before the mist but as soon as it hits, her face is a mosaic. Ok then.
Joey is aghast.
CW Anderson gives Simon and Swinger a pep talk.
We see CW Anderson laying out Jazz and insulting women’s wrestling. Tommy Dreamer made the save.
Tajiri vs. EZ Money
They hit the mat for some very fast covers (minus near falls) and it’s a standoff for some applause. When did this become a wrestling show? Money’s friend Chris Hamrick breaks up the Tarantula and a standing moonsault gets two on Tajiri. Another distraction lets Money’s other friend Julio Fantastico (Matt Tastic’s American cousin?) sneak in for a double wheelbarrow suplex. It’s time for a chair but Tajiri reverses a powerbomb into a tornado DDT. The Buzzsaw Kick is enough to put Money away.
Rating: C. Another simple wrestling match here with the bigger name overcoming the heel stable (there are WAY too many of those running around). It’s weird seeing Money lose so often when he was on a big winning streak in the dying days of WCW. He wasn’t anything great but there was something there.
The trio goes after Tajiri but he beats up all three losers without much effort. Cue the FBI (See what I mean about the heel stables?) for the real beatdown but Mikey Whipwreck comes out with a flaming 2×4 for the save.
ECW World Title: Justin Credible vs. Kid Kash
Kash is challenging and I’ll set his over/under on hurricanranas at five. It’s a pose off to start as Gertner makes sex jokes about Francine. They fight over a hammerlock until Kash gets in a clothesline to put the champ outside. A springboard dive (now that’s more like it Kash) takes Justin down again and another dive, which we can’t see, knocks Justin into the crowd.
Back in and Justin scores with a superkick but that’s enough wrestling so let’s have a chair. Kash is sent face first into said chair and it’s time for Justin to talk some trash on the mic. For the life of me I still don’t get the appeal of this guy. The champ crotches himself on the post as the announcers try to figure out how they can like Corino now that he turned on the Network.
Francine’s interference fails as she hits Justin with a metal sheet by mistake and Kash gets in his first hurricanrana. Francine tries to interfere again (giving us the required g-string shot)….and here’s Rhino to Gore Kash for the DQ/no contest since DQ’s aren’t a thing around here most of the time.
Rating: D+. Justin isn’t interesting and I’m running out of ways to say that. He’s a catchphrase, a Tombstone and weapon shots. Oh and an occasional superkick. I have no idea why he had the title as long as he did (sixth longest reign with the original title) and I have no idea what Heyman saw in him but he’s been stale for a long time.
Rob Van Dam (Kash’s partner in the tournament) makes the save to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. I…..liked this? Somehow I think I did and it’s for a few very simple reasons. This show was focused on wrestling with only the main event featuring weapons actually being used. On top of that there’s the big story of the Tag Team Title tournament coming up to really tie the show together. It’s almost like this was a well put together show and that’s a good thing.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IH7O904
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
