Thunder Date: January 24, 2001 Location: Lawrence Joel Memorial Coliseum, Winston-Salem, North Carolina Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone
We’re still just living in Ric Flair’s WCW as he and the Elite (the unofficial name at the moment) destroy everything in sight, though to be fair it’s more interesting than the Sid Rules The World stuff we sat through for so long. It’s getting closer to SuperBrawl with Kevin Nash getting the World Title shot against Scott Steiner because we’re just that lucky. Let’s get to it.
Cruiserweight Contender Countdown
I could go for this no promo to start thing. This is basically a singles version of Tag Team Turmoil with the winner getting the title shot at SuperBrawl. Works for me. Shane Helms and Elix Skipper get things going and it’s already time to run the ropes. Elix grabs a quick suplex for two and spins off the middle rope into a legdrop for two more. The Play of the Day is countered into a Vertebreaker for the very fast pin. Oh so it’s one of those gauntlet matches.
Evan Karagias is in at #3 (of 10) and misses an early top rope Lionsault, setting up the Vertebreaker for the second pin in less than two minutes. Kidman is in at #4 and quickly knocks Shane outside for a nice plancha. Back in and a TKO into a facebuster onto the knee drops Kidman but there’s no selling since this is a cruiserweight match. Instead Kidman grabs the BK Bomb but Shane pops back up for two off the X Plex. Another Vertebreaker is countered into the Kid Crusher to get rid of Shane. They’re certainly in the “hurry up and get your stuff in” formula.
Yang is in at #5 (with a much more covered up Leia Meow) as we take a break. Back with Yang grabbing a neckbreaker across the top rope. A headscissors sends Kidman face first into the mat and Yang gets two more off something like an Iconoclasm. For absolutely no logical reason, Yang sits on the second rope to try and suplex Kidman to the floor. Instead Kidman hits a super Kid Crusher for the elimination.
It’s Jamie Noble in at #6 and scores with a missile dropkick, only to get caught in a reverse suplex. Kidman throws him down with a belly to belly suplex and takes Jamie to the top for a super Michinoku Driver and another near fall. Noble better win if they let him kick out of that. Jamie gets in a jumping tombstone to put Kidman away and Rey Mysterio is in at #7.
Rey quickly sends him outside and slides under the bottom rope into a tornado DDT on the floor. I don’t think I’ve seen him do that one since, or at least not very often. Back in and Jamie catches a springboard in a sitout powerbomb for two, only to have Rey hit his sitout bulldog. A springboard diving headbutt gets rid of Jamie and it’s Lash Leroux in at #8. Lash grabs a tilt-a-whirl side slam and a seated dropkick gets two. Rey counters what looked like a BK Bomb into a faceplant (he’s Kidman’s partner after all) before a split legged moonsault eliminates Leroux.
Shannon Moore is in at #9 with something like a springboard Rough Ryder for an early two. A Whisper in the Wind misses but Shannon lands on his feet, only to have Rey trip him down into a bridging pin to get us down to the final two. Kaz Hayashi is in at #10 and kicks the winded Rey, because a gauntlet match causes you to be winded after four minutes in the ring. A helicopter bomb gets two for Kaz but Rey sends him shoulder first into the post. Rey takes it up top for a super sitout bulldog and the pin, giving him the title shot against Chavo.
Rating: B-. These matches are hit and miss for me as they’re a lot of fun but at the same time I take issue with these clean falls taking place in about a minute each. If you can pin someone that fast here, why can’t you do it that quickly in a regular match? That being said, the match was fast paced and entertaining, which is SO much more fun than the main events that I have to watch at double speed to stay awake.
Jeff Jarrett laughs at Hugh Morrus for losing on Monday and gets punched out. Laughing ensues.
Glacier video, followed by Norman Smiley actually meeting his hero. Glacier says he has Norman’s back tonight.
Here are the Cat and Miss Jones with something to say. He announces the same three matches we already knew about for the pay per view before making Jarrett vs. Morrus and Scott Steiner/Animal vs. Kronik for tonight. That means it’s time to dance.
Ric Flair has a master plan. Can we ever have a villain with just a plan? Why does everything have to be a master plan?
Shane Douglas tells Bam Bam Bigelow that he can be in Flair’s group if he beats Rick Steiner tonight.
Norman Smiley vs. Mike Awesome
I could go for more of Major Gunns in black with the red maple leafs. No Glacier in sight and Norman looks a bit nervous. They run the ropes to start but stop. WIGGLE TIME! Awesome slowly pounds him down as the announcers discuss the improvement Awesome has undergone. Norman gets in a clothesline and loads up the Big Wiggle (Tenay: “Is he looking for Glacier?”), only to be run over again. Tony has to cut off Tenay from talking about the main event but a neck crank from Awesome pulls Tony into the 1997 style of commentary all over again.
Cue Glacier, with Tony acting like this is some huge deal. Glacier takes his sweet time (you might say he’s moving like a gl…..yeah that’s bad even for me) and stops to wave at the fans, allowing Awesome to suplex a distracted Norman. A slingshot splash gets two for Awesome, followed by a powerslam for the same. Glacier’s music is still playing as he walks around the ring. Tony: “The match is still going on. Of course it is.” The Awesome Bomb finally puts Smiley away.
Rating: D. I’m amazed but somehow this superhero worship is actually a step up over the hardcore stuff. Glacier is just a comedy guy here and that’s all he needed to be, especially given how much of a joke his first run really was. Smiley vs. Glacier could be an amusing angle but somehow Glacier would probably wind up going over.
Post match Glacier gets in the ring and tells Awesome to bring it as Mike leaves. Glacier does the post match karate demonstration and shoves Norman away.
Post match Gene Okerlund rips on Glacier, who is oblivious to everything wrong with what he just did. Norman collapses and Glacier says he’s here to clean up the evils of WCW. This was actually kind of funny.
Here are Kwee Wee and Paisley with something to say. Kwee Wee, calm again here, issues another open challenge and we’re already on a fan before he can even get the words out of his mouth. Kwee Wee drags him over the barricade and gives the plant a piledriver until security drags Kwee Wee away. If they were actually serious about pushing him, WCW would let him be Alan Funk (or any other name that doesn’t bring back Terry) and take away the pink and the glitter, but I’m sure the lack of getting over is his fault at this point.
Kronik says Animal and Steiner are going to get smoked tonight.
Jeff Jarrett vs. Hugh Morrus
Before the match, Jarrett goes on about how he’s beaten Page before and he can do it again at SuperBrawl. Morrus charges the ring and hammers away with the smile on his face. The announcers ignore the match in the first minute to talk about the main event as Morrus gets two off a powerslam.
They head outside with Jeff already resorting to cheating with a chair to the ribs. Jeff starts in on the knee but does that always stupid looking jump off the top with the sole intention of landing on a raised boot. Morrus gets in a top rope elbow but cue the Wall to try a chokeslam. That’s broken up but Jeff goes for the guitar, allowing Wall to get in the chokeslam on the second try. A Stroke gives Jeff the pin.
Rating: D+. This was better than it should have been and at least they’re going forward towards a logical match like Wall vs. Morrus. I mean, no one is going to want to see it and it won’t draw any money but at least it’s logical, which is a step up for WCW. It’s also good to see Jarrett back in the midcard where he belongs instead of teasing more World Title runs.
Ron Harris vs. Crowbar
Of course, and to make matters worse, Daffney has a megaphone. Harris starts fast by pounding Crowbar in the corner and planting him with a side slam. A quick cross body gives Crowbar two and I’d assume that’s it for his offense. Harris takes him outside for a whip into the barricade, allowing Don to get in some stomping. Back in and Ron grabs a sleeper followed by a clothesline but something like a Death Drop gives Crowbar a breather. He scores with a moonsault and it’s time for TWIN MAGIC! The neck brace switches and Don ends Crowbar with something like a Rock Bottom.
Rating: F. This is the new WCW: a place where Crowbar and Kwee Wee, who have worked very hard to get over the genius characters of as close to gay as we can get without saying it and battling car wash guy who thinks it’s 1974, are treated like morons and jobbers because RICK STEINER, LEX LUGER AND THE FREAKING HARRIS TWINS need pushes. In other words, take every single problem WCW has had with its booking over the years and do it again because we need to show how it’s going to be different this time.
Rick Steiner is willing to beat up Bam Bam Bigelow to prove a message to Shane Douglas.
We go to a long video of Tenay meeting with an orthopedic surgeon to talk about Sid’s leg injury. Basically he snapped it like a pencil and will be on crutches for up to three months and then in therapy for up to a year. Like Sid or not, that’s one of the worst injuries you’ll ever see.
Rick Steiner vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
If Bigelow wins, he’s on Flair’s team. They slug it out to start until Rick grabs a belly to belly, followed by a Steiner Line and another belly to belly. Good to see he’s going versatile this week. Bigelow comes back with a quick slam and the flying headbutt hits way too early. Greetings From Asbury Park is countered with a DDT, followed by an elbow drop for two. Another DDT sets up the Steiner Bulldog for the pin, despite Bigelow not really being touched as he went down.
Ric Flair knocks out the Cat with brass knuckles. We also see Nash and Page laid out.
Rick Steiner tells Kronik to go to the ring for the main event while he takes care of these three. So he’s a repetitive wrestler and a trained medic? Shane comes in and hits Rick with his chain.
Kronik vs. Scott Steiner/Road Warrior Animal
Before the match, Steiner yells at Kronik for making a horrible decision. He’s ready for Nash too because Nash is going to get the same treatment that Booker T. and Sting received. Animal and Clark get things going, preventing that LOD vs. Demolition reunion showdown that we were all looking forward to. Stereo shoulders give us a stalemate so Animal’s clothesline and elbow drop get two.
Adams comes in and we get the REAL showdown, only to have Animal bring in Steiner to stomp on Adams in the corner. A quick full nelson slam puts Scott down and the heels bail outside where Clark takes them down with a flip dive off the apron. Back in and Scott plants him with a butterfly powerbomb, meaning it’s time for the push-ups.
Steiner charges into a boot though and the hot tag (Tenay’s words) brings in Clark to clean house. The Meltdown gets two on Animal but here’s Totally Buff to break up High Times. Animal breaks up the full nelson slam as Buff chokes Cat on the floor. Now the High Times is good enough to pin Animal. Tenay pushes this as a major upset, despite Kronik being former multiple time Tag Team Champions and Steiner/Animal never teaming before.
Rating: D. I actually didn’t hate this as there’s a simple idea here and the younger (I think?) guys went over clean. It gets really tiring seeing an established team losing to two guys who happen to be good tag wrestlers with their regular partners but WCW actually went with the logical ending here. I’m as shocked as you are but this could have been a lot worse.
Steiner comes back in with the pipe to beat Kronik down and end the show.
Overall Rating: D. I know the running line about WCW is that everything goes down after the cruiserweights but this was one of the worst cases I’ve seen in a long time. This Elite story isn’t even warmed over NWO at its best and the wrestling is getting weaker and weaker every single show. At the end of the day though, it’s seeing people like the Harris Twins, Totally Buff and Rick Steiner getting so much TV time. These people just are not interesting and it’s showing more and more with each passing show.
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Thunder – November 22, 2000: The Clouds Are Back Again
Thunder Date: November 22, 2000
Location: Augusta-Richmond County Civic Center, Augusta, Georgia
Attendance: 3,800
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Stevie Ray, Tony Schiavone
It’s the go home show for Mayhem and unfortunately that means we’re not likely to see much tonight. We might get some build towards the Tag Team Title match which was only added on Monday but other than that, this could be a very long night. Not as long as it would have been for the people who had to sit through this and Nitro of course. Let’s get to it.
Opening Nitro recap.
Here are Mike Sanders, Mark Jindrak and Sean O’Haire to get things going with Mike having a big bandage around his head after the Goldberg match. Sanders brings up all the stuff with Kwee Wee on Monday before mentioning Meng, which draws out the monster.
Meng vs. Mark Jindrak/Sean O’Haire
The Thrillers pound him down as well as they can with O’Haire getting in a good looking clothesline for no cover. Instead Meng shrugs it all off and Samoan drops Jindrak. Something like Poetry in Motion doesn’t work and Meng slowly beats them both down like the glorified jobbers they are. A double Tongan Death Grip brings in the rest of the Thrillers and it’s a big DQ after Jindrak and O’Haire look worthless.
Nash and Page make the save and Sanders is ticked. Mike wants Page to fight a Thriller tonight and Stasiak volunteers, with Sanders making it a lumberjack match for no logical reason.
Scott Steiner is here.
Ric Flair says there’s a restraining order between Scott Steiner and Booker T. If they fight before Sunday, Booker is suspended and Steiner loses his title shot. I’m so glad they did this four days before the pay per view.
Here’s 3 Count to say they are in fact still 3 Count. The dancing ensues and almost no one cares.
Yang vs. Shannon Moore vs. Evan Karagias
Evan and Shannon slug it out to start with Shannon getting the better of it, only to be sent out to the floor for his efforts. Yang misses a kick at Evan and gets rolled up for a fast two as Shannon gets back in. It’s Yang taking over on the singer/former singer before Evan pancakes him down. That means it’s time to drive the Cadillac (that stupid thing where Evan has his hand on a steering wheel and his other hand as a phone), only to have Shannon get come back in with a Fameasser.
Yang gets sent outside so Jamie can stomp him, leaving Shannon to eat a powerslam for two. There’s always something strange about someone Evan’s size doing a powerslam. Helms pulls Evan to the floor but gets whipped hard into the barricade. Back in and Yang hits a quick reverse White Noise for the pin on Shannon. It’s as sudden as it sounds.
Rating: C. As usual this needed more time and some more polish but at least it was entertaining while it lasted. I still have almost no idea why these teams are still fighting but they can do some fun big matches. Unfortunately this was nowhere near long enough and the match was a bit sloppy, which dragged it down too much.
Alex Wright tries to buy Kronik for later tonight but apparently can only afford half. Adams seems to have an idea.
Stevie Ray interviewed Scott Steiner earlier today and oh this could be a train wreck. Steiner is sitting behind a plastic screen, apparently to prevent another version of what happened to Tenay. Scott is ready to right the wrongs of Halloween Havoc, which of course leads into a discussion of the University of Michigan. This sets off a big censored tirade, during which the camera pans over a bit too much to reveal that the plastic isn’t attached to anything. Stevie is all defensive but here’s Booker to hit Steiner with a chair. Some hero.
Here are the Filthy Animals for their match with the Boogie Knights, but first it’s time to hit all the catchphrases, meaning you have time to make a nice sandwich before we get things going. Alex Wright comes out and says he has a surprise.
Rey Mysterio/Kidman vs. Bryan Clark
Kidman gets thrown into the corner to start and it’s time for some stomping. A big boot has him in even more trouble but of course a single dropkick staggers Clark. Where would cruiserweights be without their dropkicks? Mysterio comes in to help but Kidman gets crotched for his efforts. A chokeslam sends Rey flying and it’s back to Kidman for another dropkick. The faceplant to break up a powerbomb gets two on Clark and it’s High Times, with Rey looking right at it and doing nothing. Instead he heads outside to beat on Wright, leaving Kidman to take a Meltdown for the pin.
Rating: D. Why does WCW hate cruiserweights so much? They just had former Tag Team Champions lose to Bryan Clarke in a glorified squash match for the sake of pushing a feud with the Boogie Knights. I know they might not have been the biggest things in the world but it would have been nice to see them not treated as cannon fodder.
Steiner invades Sanders’ office and demands a match. Mike immediately agrees and that’s the segment.
Bam Bam Bigelow and Reno say they’ll win their tag match later.
Page and Nash are ready for the Thrillers.
Vito rambles a bit until Sanders comes in to give him a match tonight. Vito calls him Parmesan face.
Recaps of Steiner vs. Booker and DDP/Nash vs. the Thrillers.
The Thrillers rant a lot and Gene Okerlund swears at them. O’Haire says have Paulshock interview them next time.
Video on Sanders vs. Goldberg. Feel free to have a match anytime here.
Here’s Booker to talk about various player haters. You’ll have to kill him to take the title from him and he’s sorry about giving Major Gunns the Book End. Booker has six words for Goldberg: Don’t hate the player, hate the game. Instead of killing Booker to take the title, maybe you could just teach him how to count. This brings out Goldberg, who says he saved Booker on Monday. After Mayhem, that title is coming back where it belongs. So I guess the Streak angle is officially dead? They shake hands, though Booker is a bit tentative.
The Cat and Buff Bagwell are ready for their match tonight. Is that match happening ANYTIME SOON???
Shane Douglas and Torrie come out to insult Buff with Shane saying he has a surprise partner to face Bagwell/Cat tonight. That would be Jeff Jarrett, which shouldn’t surprise anyone. For some reason Jarrett makes Christmas jokes about Bagwell and this really doesn’t go anywhere.
Buff Bagwell/The Cat vs. Jeff Jarrett/Shane Douglas
Cat pounds on Douglas in the corner and kicks him a few times, only to get poked in the eye to stop that cold. As usual, heel wrestlers easily defeat karate guys. Jarrett comes in to keep Douglas safe and it’s time for a double beatdown. Cat dropkicks both guys down and makes the hot tag to Bagwell (yeah a hot tag a minute in) for some house cleaning. Everything breaks down and the women argue on the floor, earning Ms. Jones an ejection. The Stroke plants Cat for no count as the referee is out with the women. Buff mostly botches the Blockbuster but gets hit with a foreign object to give Jeff the weak pin.
Rating: D. I’m honestly not sure why these people are fighting in the first place and I really have no idea why I’m supposed to want to see them having matches on pay per view. It really does seem like they’re just throwing whatever they can to fill in a card. That’s never a good sign for a promotion and it’s not a good sign here.
Crowbar and Mike Awesome say they’ll win.
Scott Steiner vs. Big Vito
Before the match, Steiner accuses Goldberg and Booker of having a love fest earlier. After Sunday, he’ll celebrate being the World Champion by getting horizontal. Steiner goes over to the announcers’ table to yell at Stevie but Vito comes out to start the brawling. The fans chant for Stevie as Vito gets thrown around, including the spinning belly to belly. A backbreaker allows Steiner to throw Vito outside and it’s time for another trip to the announcers’ table.
Back in and Steiner keeps beating on Vito in the corner with a genuine imitation mudhole stomping. Vito gets tied in the Tree of Woe for some choking he grabs a quick belly to belly for a breather. The top rope elbow gets two and there’s a flying headbutt for the same. Vito goes up for the third time but gets crotched down, setting up the super t-bone. The Recliner puts Vito away.
Rating: C-. I remember this being way better and that comeback is still pretty good. Vito has gotten some insane mileage out of that Hardcore Title reign despite barely ever winning anything else since then. This was a better match than it had any right to be and it’s clear that they’re setting up something with Stevie vs. Scott, or at least they should be.
Mike Awesome/Crowbar vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Reno
Hardcore rules. Awesome and Crowbar bring in the weapons because they’re the good guys here. It’s a big brawl to start with Crowbar and Reno heading outside, where Reno uses a trashcan lid to block Awesome’s suicide dive. Crowbar loads up an Asai moonsault and has to hit the mats stomach first as the heels are too busy brawling to catch him. Thanks for that guys.
They head up to the stage for all of ten seconds before it’s back to ringside while Tony plugs Backstage Assault (that wrestling game where you never actually get in a wrestling ring). Reno goes after Awesome’s knee in the ring as Bigelow throws a cookie sheet at Crowbar’s head. Unfortunately it misses and hits a fan, but at least it was a nice try.
Bigelow and Reno are laid onto tables and Crowbar is nice enough to let Awesome powerbomb him over the top and through Reno for the big crash. Bigelow gets up and kind of sends Awesome through another able (kind of as in Awesome jumped WAY harder than Bigelow threw him) as Reno covers Crowbar for the pin o the floor.
Rating: D-. Some of the spots worked here but the match was a huge mess that had no business existing. There’s a Hardcore Title match on Sunday and I really don’t need to see a hardcore match here to help set that up. The title and the division are just so dead and stupid at this point but for some reason it’s still a thing. Really bad match here and no one cared, which is sad when you have someone like Crowbar going all over the place and working so hard to get the stupid idea over.
Shawn Stasiak vs. Diamond Dallas Page
Lumberjack match with most of the midcard sans the Thrillers at ringside. During the lumberjacks’ entrances, Tony mentions Starrcade for perhaps the first time all year. Mike Sanders sits in on commentary to brag about Stasiak’s “youthness.” Page knocks him outside early on and hits a big dive to take out Stasiak and some lumberjacks. There goes the brawl between the lumberjacks and we’re down to a regular match inside of a minute.
Stasiak gets in a jumping back elbow and here are Chuck Palumbo and Kevin Nash to stand at ringside. A fireman’s carry gutbuster gets two on Page as more Thrillers start showing up. We hit the chinlock and some choking before Page starts a comeback, only to get hit in the head with a foreign object for two as Nash pulls the referee out. There’s a Diamond Cutter but there’s no referee, allowing Palumbo to hit Page with a chair to give Stasiak the pin.
Rating: D-. There’s a little credit here for the sake of giving Stasiak a win but this was way messier than it needed to be. They really could have done the exact same match without the lumberjacks and that’s never a good sign. Also well done on having Page lose his first match back before he gets a title shot on Sunday.
Nash powerbombs the referee to end the show, which the announcers find funny for whatever reason.
Overall Rating: F. The horrible days of Thunder are back and it’s as we’re going into a pay per view that I had little to no desire to see in the first place. There’s almost nothing interesting going on here and the main event really couldn’t be more obvious. The second biggest match on the card is going to be Goldberg vs. Lex Luger, which is as horrible of a thought as you could possibly have. This was a really bad show though and there are no signs that it’s getting better.
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Halloween Havoc 2000
Date: October 29, 2000
Location: MGM Grand Garden Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 7,582
Commentators: Stevie Ray, Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden
It’s at least a double main event tonight and you could argue a triple with Kronik vs. Goldberg, Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett and Booker T. defending the World Title against Scott Steiner. After that though the card falls off a cliff and hits every single rock on the way down. Let’s get to it.
We open with the fans being polled about the handicap match. Well to be fair that’s cheaper and safer than asking the announcers what they think.
The regular opening video focuses on how everyone needs to overcome their fears.
Tony: “This is sports entertainment!”
Tag Team Titles: Boogie Knights vs. Rey Mysterio/Kidman vs. Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak
O’Haire and Jindrak are defending after losing to both teams in recent weeks. The Thrillers come out second for no logical reason but I’m sure it’s supposed to draw money or humble them or something. The ring has the Backstage Assault (WCW video game sponsoring the show) logos in each corner. Konnan is on commentary as Alex, Mark and Kidman are in to start. I’ve always liked that three men in at once rule in WCW.
Kidman headscissors Mark down and hits a nice dropkick before it’s off to Rey, whose Bronco Buster hits a raised boot. Disco comes in and dances but Jindrak springboards in so high that Disco has to take a step back before Jindrak hits him. O’Haire throws Rey into the air for a powerslam (cool spot) so Disco helps double team him down, only to start fighting with Rey over the cover. Kidman comes in and elbows Disco instead of O’Haire, only to have Wright dropkick Kidman for two.
The fans stay on Disco as Wright knees Jindrak in the arm for two (well done camera guys). The yet to be named Tower of Doom freaks Stevie out as Wright is planted for a double two count. Konnan is already getting on my nerves with his Natural Born Cranberries line and we get a triple tag to bring in Rey, Disco and O’Haire. Everything breaks down and Kidman takes the double beal over the top from the floor.
O’Haire throws Rey over the top into a belly to belly from Wright for two. The Animals take over for a bit and Wright takes a Kid Crusher but the champs make a save. Wright runs into Rey and falls over the top anyway, leaving Disco to Last Dance Jindrak. Stevie sounds like he’s doing a JR impression for reasons that aren’t clear, only to have O’Haire hit the Seanton Bomb for the pin on Disco to retain.
Rating: B-. This was a lot of fun as they just let all six of them go nuts for ten minutes to fire up the crowd. I like the idea of a hot opener and given that they probably don’t have much left on the show worth much until the last three matches, this was a good choice to have early on the card.
Post match Wright beats down the Animals with a chair so Konnan comes in, drawing in Sgt. AWOL for the save for absolutely no logical reason. Konnan looks hurt and comes up limping.
Hardcore Title: Reno vs. Sgt. AWOL
AWOL is challenging so he sets up a table in between matches. Reno hits him with a kendo stick but takes a boot to the face (totally missed), only to flapjack AWOL through the table for two. Madden says old school hardcore rules are in effect: pinfalls count anywhere and anything goes. That would be different than the new rules of start in the back and end in the ring. So there are two eras for a title not even a year old?
A trashcan shot to the head gets two on AWOL as I have flashbacks to him being invincible just about a year ago. AWOL comes back by putting a trashcan over Reno’s head before kicking the can rather hard. Not the part with Reno inside of course because that might mean something looks good in this match.
AWOL and Stevie Ray do a Too Sweet for some reason before the guys walk up the aisle. A Roll of the Dice on the ramp knocks AWOL silly but let’s set up two tables instead of covering. As expected, AWOL gets up and throws Reno through both tables (or at least most of them). That’s not enough for a cover either so they head backstage with AWOL throwing a computer monitor at Reno’s head. Ignore the picture on the monitor that isn’t plugged in because this is OLD SCHOOL HARDCORE, meaning technology doesn’t have to make sense.
The champ blasts him with a fire extinguisher and throws AWOL through another table, only to have AWOL throw him onto another table. Madden makes jokes about the internet ruining wrestling as AWOL hits him with the monitor again. AWOL hits agent Fit Finlay and Madden gets in what sounds like an inside joke that makes no sense unless you were probably in catering that day. Back to ringside and AWOL loads up another table, only to walk into Roll of the Dice to retain Reno’s title.
Rating: D-. WAY too long here as I was begging for this to be over nearly halfway through. This gimmick is so beyond dead and now the match is getting nearly eleven minutes (third longest match of the night) on a card with ten other matches. Who is this supposed to appeal to? I hit you with some object, we do a table spot, repeat five times? That’s the best they’ve got?
Post match the Perfect Event comes out and beats on AWOL, drawing out Lieutenant Loco and Corporal Cajun to give us a very lame reaction.
Shane Douglas talks to the Thrillers and tells them that Nash has put him in charge of the team tonight. Nash can’t even show up on pay per views now?
Apparently Goldberg was injured when he hit the post on Thunder. He isn’t here yet but that’s commonplace in WCW.
Kronik talks to the Nevada State Wrestling Commission and mentions Goldberg having a head/neck injury.
Lieutenant Loco/Corporal Cajun vs. Perfect Event
This is an impromptu match but luckily the Thrillers were already in their gear. Why Loco and Cajun had to go to the back and come back out isn’t clear. Stasiak gets beaten down to start and you can see people getting out of their chairs. It’s also clear that the cameras aren’t panning over to the side because there are A LOT of empty seats that keep sneaking into view.
Things settle down to Stasiak beating on Loco before it’s off to Palumbo. The announcers argue over how together the Perfect Event is, despite the fact that they’re not even the best team in their own stable. Palumbo charges into Cajun’s raised boot as I have no idea why this match is taking place on pay per view. Was a ten match card really not enough? A double flapjack puts Loco down as Stevie thinks Madden called Loco “Chubby Toes.”
Stasiak gets two off a sitout powerbomb (Tony: “Out of the Coach Kevin Nash playbook!”) as the announcers talk about how many saves you’re allowed to make in tag team wrestling. Apparently there used to be a limit on that. You would think that some company like Ring of Honor might have brought that back over the years. Loco somehow spins out of a press slam and it’s off to Cajun with the hot tag.
Palumbo makes the save so Stasiak can get two and the fans are put right back in their seats. Well the fans that are still in the arena at least. A sleeper makes things even worse but Cajun fights out….and is put in another sleeper. Well Palumbo’s hand is over Cajun’s eyes so it’s more like a one man game of Peek-A-Boo. Cajun escapes again and runs him over for the tag to Loco but the fans aren’t bothering to get fired up this time. Everything breaks down and Loco gives Stasiak a quick tornado DDT for the pin.
Rating: C-. Well that happened. It was a watchable match that I’m going to forget about inside of the next ten minutes and really only served to further the “Stasiak is a screwup” story, which isn’t interesting in the first place because IT’S SHAWN STASIAK. You could have easily cut this from the show and given the time to other matches and given how fast the fans were leaving, there’s probably something to that idea.
Konnan is hurt but is willing to go fight anyway.
Torrie Wilson/Shane Douglas vs. Konnan/Tygress
You can see Stasiak and Palumbo leaving the ring as Shane’s entrance comes on. Torrie is in a Wonder Woman swimsuit and the announcers trip over each others tongues to oogle her. Before the match, Shane laughs at Konnan’s injuries and offers Tygress a chance to come out here and get beaten up. Or sexually assaulted if you pay attention to what he says.
Tygress fights on her own to start by kicking Shane low, setting up a HORRIBLE sequence between the women. Shane breaks up the Bronco Buster as the announcers talk about Torrie’s stockings. A double Franchiser is loaded up but Konnan comes in through the crowd for no apparent reason for the save. His back is fine enough to clothesline both of them down and we get a horrible looking double baseball slide as everything heads outside.
It settles down into a regular match and Tony freaks out when Tygress grabs a wristlock on Shane. Torrie tries to make a save and has no idea what to do (makes sense) so Shane takes over on Tygress to save himself. It’s off to Torrie for a really awkward looking run across the ring (with no complaints from the announcers), followed by a camel clutch from Shane.
Off to a crossface chickenwing with Shane putting her hand near his crotch (and shouting something about “make me feel good baby”) until Tygress escapes and crawls over for a hot tag to Konnan. Everything breaks down and Torrie pulls the referee into the path of a Bronco Buster for the comedy spot of the match. Torrie gives Konnan a decent Franchiser for two but the good team gives Shane a double facebuster for the pin.
Rating: D-. Other than Torrie in that outfit, this did not need to be on pay per view. This needed to be about five minutes shorter and on Nitro, mainly because I have no idea why this match even took place. Something about who is the best couple, but isn’t Tygress with Rey? They made it clear that this was all about looking at Torrie but there are other ways to do that without wasting over ten minutes of pay per view time.
Again the camera immediately cuts away to the next interview. What’s up with them wanting to get away from Tygress and Torrie so fast? Anyway David Flair and his doctors (they have stethoscopes and stuff) are ready to prove that Buff is a lying piece of garbage.
Buff Bagwell vs. David Flair
This is a DNA match and we’re still waiting on a definition of what that is. Madden: “Tony what are the rules of a DNA match?” Hey thanks Mark. It means First Blood, though I don’t think the fans have actually been told that otherwise. Before the match, Buff promises that he’ll win. You can add that to the long list of things that could have been cut from this show.
Buff punches David down to start and scores with a swinging neckbreaker. All Buff so far as this is a total squash since David still isn’t much of a wrestler. David does the Flair Flip in the corner but gets slammed down just like his daddy. Buff rips the shirt off and makes him do a double bicep pose, allowing David to kick him low for his first advantage. Outside they go but Buff can’t get a piledriver on the exposed concrete because that might kill him.
Your comment of the show that sums up how stupid this whole thing is: Tony: “David trying to bust Buff open and get a DNA sample!” Just imagine a non-fan hearing that one line and see how they react. Anyway they get back in and David tries a chair, only to get hit low and hit with the chair instead. David is busted open so the match is over but since the wrestlers don’t seem to know how the match works, Buff gives him a Blockbuster anyway.
Rating: D-. This was a squash and another match that didn’t need to be on a pay per view. The DNA story is interesting enough but does anyone really care about David Flair? Buff would be a better person in this role, especially since Ric has barely been a factor in it most of the time. At least we got to see David beat up his mailman though. That’s something right?
Post match Lex Luger of all people comes out to celebrate with Buff and turn on him a full two seconds later. Luger posts Buff and busts open his lip, allowing David to get a sample. Boy that’s convenient.
Goldberg, looking a bit shaky, arrives. Thank goodness they made sure to fix that cliffhanger that started half an hour ago.
Scott Steiner and Midajah aren’t worried about Goldberg. Steiner promises to win the title.
The Cat vs. Mike Sanders
This is a kickboxing match for the Commissionership with three rounds lasting two minutes each. Both guys get to run their mouths to start and still nothing of note is said. Palumbo and Stasiak (fine again) are in Sanders’ corner as Madden thinks this is a karate match. They feel each other out for a bit until Cat kicks him in the head for an eight count. A legsweep drops Sanders and they lock up with about ten seconds to go to end the round.
Cat beats on him with ease for a knockdown and Sanders barely beats the count. Another punch drops Mike again but the Perfect Event argues over whether or not to throw in the towel. Mike says throw it in but somehow beats the count to end the round. This has been completely one sided so far and Cat has barely broken a sweat.
Stasiak and Palumbo get in a fight during the break but here’s Shane Douglas for some reason. The referee is outside yelling at the Thrillers as Cat beats up Sanders even more. Cat gets in a good looking cartwheel kick and Sanders doesn’t want to get up. With Mike kind of on his feet, Cat hammers away even more. To his credit though, he’s able to shout “GET THE CHAIN MAN!” to Douglas, who knocks Cat out with a chain a few seconds later.
The slowest ten count ever (the referee is at five with twenty seconds left and gets to nine with three seconds left) allows the Cat to get up just in time and the match continues. Cat knocks Sanders out again but goes to the floor to fight Shane, giving Mike a countout win. In overtime. In a kickboxing match. To be a wrestling commissioner. Which he already was.
Rating: F. There’s a difference between this kind of stuff and the kind of stuff you would see under full Russo control. While that stuff was really more about shock value and being as stupid as possible, this was a match where you knew everything that was going to happen from the second Shane came out (save for maybe the stupid countout ending). It’s still really bad either way but at least this had some great facial expressions from Sanders. Of course this was horrible but it’s not like the two of them could have a much better wrestling match.
Goldberg talks to the wrestling commissioners and says he’s fine from Monday. The injury was on Wednesday’s show but it was taped on Monday so I’m not sure if I can call that a botch or not.
Kronik gives Goldberg until the end of the night because they get paid either way.
Mike Awesome vs. Vampiro
Add this to the list of things that doesn’t really need to be on pay per view. Not the match that is but Mike as That 70s Guy. This is over Awesome beating Vampiro down a few weeks back so Vampiro is here for revenge. Odd heel motivation but whatever. Vampiro wants to put Awesome’s title shot on the line as well. Now that’s more like a heel. Mike says groovy. Well actually he says that’s fine but he should have said groovy.
Vampiro is knocked to the floor to start and a big plancha takes him down again. That never stops looking awesome. The brawl heads into the crowd despite there being regular rules for this one. Vampiro grabs a cane from someone and beats on Awesome, only to have the guy hit Awesome, who beats him down as a result. Well that was a bad moment.
Back in and they duel with chairs like samurai warriors according to Tony. I’d love to meet Tony’s history teacher if he thinks samurai’s fought with folding metal chairs. Vampiro gets the better of it and takes over with a release belly to belly superplex that almost had a horrible landing. Back in and Vampiro tries a top rope seated senton but Mike seems to counter into a sitout powerbomb. Well I think so at least because it looked kind of like a counter and kind of like Awesome fell backwards. Mike covered for two so we’ll go with horribly executed counter.
Instead it’s time for a table and even Stevie thinks there’s something wrong with this. The Nail in the Coffin gets no cover so let’s bring in another table. Madden: “There’s always room for jello and there’s always room for another table.” I saw Ghostbusters II first so I smiled at that line more than I should have. They head outside for an Awesome Bomb on the floor…for two? Are we having a second match where they don’t know the rules? Vampiro is up fast enough to break up the Awesome Splash. Instead it’s a Super Awesome Bomb to give Mike the pin and give us that sweet 70s music.
Rating: D. They had something there with the big spots but that doesn’t really work if the spots don’t actually work. Awesome and Vampiro were trying but there’s only so much you can do when the match is barely looking like a match and turns more into a trainwreck. It also didn’t help that they beat up a fan in the crowd. You know that whole assault thing.
General Rection gives a fired up promo talking about how he’s lost so much over the last few months but he’s here for one more fight.
Vampiro is being checked on by the trainers and gets a round of applause when he sits up. Tony shows us a replay and calls it one of the most amazing spots you’ll ever see. Who in the world is going to care if you call it a move? As usual it comes off like WCW trying to make themselves look smarter and forgetting that a lot of fans don’t care.
US Title: General Rection vs. Lance Storm/Jim Duggan
Storm is defending in a handicap match and goes on a rant about how Rection won’t just accept that he’s been beaten. Duggan argues with the referee over who gets to keep the board before locking up with Rection and brawling around the ring. Rection clears the ring with clotheslines before no selling Storm’s chops in the corner.
There’s a backdrop to send Lance outside but Duggan knocks Rection outside as well to take over for the first time. Stevie: “Tony, why do they call her Major Gunns?” The bad guys take over with Duggan elbowing him down to give Storm two. A superkick gets another delayed near fall but Duggan’s Three Point Clothesline is turned into a double clothesline to put both guys down.
Storm slaps on a sleeper and Stevie actually compares it to the one from the Perfect Event match. Who would have thought Stevie would be the best analyst between Tony and Mar…..this isn’t all that surprising actually. Canadian miscommunication gives Rection an opening and he powerslams Storm for one.
Duggan hits his partner by mistake again before the referee drops down as Lance runs the ropes. He does it a second time and then we get the ref bump because we needed a ref bump. Duggan piledrives Rection for no count so here’s Elix Skipper, who is quickly taken down by a flag shot from Gunns. Back in and a Russian legsweep to Duggan with the 2×4 (clearly not making any contact) is enough to set up the No Laughing Matter to give Rection the title.
Rating: D. I appreciate them trying to keep Storm strong but was this really the best idea they could come up with? Rection isn’t really the most interesting guy in the world but at least it fits the story they’ve built up for months. In a good company this would free Storm up for a main event run but you know WCW isn’t bright enough to pull that off.
Mayhem ad centered entirely around Scott Steiner.
Jarrett is ready for Sting.
We recap Jarrett vs. Sting which is over Jarrett claiming Sting has no heart. For some reason this resulted in him dressing up as Sting and mimicking him, which only served to tick Sting off and set up a big fight here. On paper, this should be a layup.
Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett
Jeff goes around the ring running his mouth so Sting jumps him from behind to start things fast. They get inside with Sting hitting an atomic drop….and here comes Surfer Sting. The real Sting (Sting Prime?) beats him up as Madden wonders if you can get disqualified for beating yourself up. Fair question….I think? Sting and Jarrett fight by the stage and then into the crowd so here’s 1990 Sting to get beaten up as well. The real Sting gives him a Death Drop on the stage as Jarrett stands in the ring.
Back in and here’s Wolfpac Sting (possibly played by Chris Harris) as we skip eight years or so. For some reason Sting takes him up to the stage for some bat shots and another Death Drop. Jeff hits him in the neck/shoulder with the bat as the referee checks on Wolfpac Sting. Back in and Jeff puts on a sleeper, probably giving us the highlight of the match. Sting fights up and makes his comeback as Crow Sting breaks through the mat and pulls Sting under.
That earns Crow another beatdown but the lights go out and Crow Sting II repels from the ceiling. Sting gives him a Death Drop through the table to knock the wig off and reveal a bald spot. Back in and Sting puts on the Scorpion, only to have Crow Sting I hit him with the guitar. That’s no sold (why not at this point) and Crow I gets a Death Drop, followed by the guitar shot from Jeff for the pin.
Rating: T. For There it is. I had heard about how horrible this show was going to be. This match started roughly two hours in and while it was bad, there have been worse. Then there it was. There’s the big moment that turns this into horrible. WCW spent weeks building up a three match show and one of them involved Sting fighting the demons of his past because Jarrett apparently hired a bunch of guys to dress up like Sting and interfere at timed intervals.
Normally I would go into a big rant about why this is stupid but it’s up there with Mae Young giving birth to a hand or David Flair beating up a mailman on the list of things that speak for themselves. With WCW in the position they’re in, they have no business screwing over the fans on one of the only matches that was almost guaranteed to be well done. I mean, it wasn’t going to be a classic or anything but if you have Sting and Jarrett doing a mostly straight match, it’s going to be fine.
Instead of a match though, which is something the fans might be interested in based on how Russo’s TV ratings died over the summer, the company did some insane spectacle that might have made sense to three people in the building. The story of Sting needing to show heart is fine and Sting is the kind of guy who can pull that off but instead we get this mess with everyone being confused and annoyed. How this benefits anyone is beyond me but at least I have a reason to hate this show even more now.
Stevie Ray doesn’t help things here by talking about how Sting came up short after fighting off all those odds. As in an army of Sting clones is the same as Jimmy Hart distracting a referee.
Booker T. is ready for Steiner.
We recap Steiner vs. Booker T., which is basically Steiner going insane and attacking Booker.
WCW World Title: Booker T. vs. Scott Steiner
Steiner is challenging after beating Goldberg last month. Booker comes out first and Tony talks about the World Title not being on last tonight. Before he comes out, Steiner chokes an agent for the title match not going on last. I can get behind that. Booker gets the fans clapping to start things off so Steiner backs him into the corner and gets in an elbow to the jaw. Booker’s forearm sends Steiner out to the floor, allowing Scott to jump the barricade and yell at a fan.
Back in and Booker gets beaten down, only to come back with a clothesline for two. They head into the crowd because Steiner and Booker T. won’t wrestle for some reason. Steiner throws Booker through the second announcers’ table and chokes the referee for only counting to two. There’s the top rope Samoan drop to set up some push-ups but Booker leapfrogs over Scott to take it back outside. That goes nowhere so Booker starts with the kicks, including a missile dropkick and ax kick for two each. It’s time for the pipe though as Steiner beats down Booker and the referee, drawing the lame DQ.
Rating: D. The match wasn’t even that good before the lame ending which made things even worse. We’re 0-2 on the three main events and this was the best of them so far. There’s an idea here with Steiner being too hot headed to win the title but it would have helped if they had done a good match before getting here. Booker’s comeback was nice but they needed something better than this after all the other stuff they’ve done tonight.
Jeff Jarrett has to come out and help calm Steiner down.
We recap the main event which is basically Goldberg is dominant and Kronik are big and strong. Go have a four minute match to wrap up this pay per view.
Goldberg vs. Kronik
Before the match (because giving it more time would be stupid), Adams says Goldberg is too hurt to wrestle so the referee needs to count. We cut to the back where the Wrestling Commission guys announce that Goldberg is cleared. Goldberg’s music hits with six minutes left in the show and the bell rings with just over four to go. They brawl to the floor because this is nothing resembling a wrestling match. Kronik takes over but loads up a table, only to have Goldberg knock Adams away and spear Clark through the table for a pin. Adams gets two off a full nelson slam and it’s the spear and Jackhammer to keep Goldberg around.
Rating: F. That’s you main event people: Goldberg doing the same old thing he’s done for over three years now over a team who was losing the titles to Vampiro and Great Muta a few months back. There’s nothing to talk about here and the fact that this went on last due to some injury angle that started and ended in the same night sums up this horrible show.
Overall Rating: F. Oh yeah this failed and it failed bad. There’s a good opening match where they let the wrestlers go out and do something fun but the rest is one failed idea after another. However, the key word there is idea and that’s what keeps this show above some of Russo’s disasters: you can see the thinking behind a lot of these matches. Notice that I said thinking behind and not that they actually worked.
That’s the problem here: they were trying something in most of the matches and then each of those ideas came crashing down, mainly because the wrestlers just aren’t all that good these days. I mean, Cat and Sanders are good talkers for WCW but it’s really hard to watch them do something goofy when I can flip on Raw and watch Austin, Rock and Jericho talk to people and then tear the house down with almost anyone they get in the ring with.
WCW is in a bad place right now and so much of that is due to all the turmoil from the last few months. They’re in a better place with some storylines starting to make sense and some promising young talent but you can’t come off one of the worst stretches in wrestling history and then bounce back to life like nothing ever happened. The fans, at least the ones that are left, aren’t buying it and I can’t blame them.
Look at the build for this show. WCW made it clear that this was going to be a three match card with everything else filling in the gaps. Goldberg vs. Kronik would have been lame as a Thunder main event and it closed the show. Booker vs. Steiner was the most acceptable of the three despite it being nothing more than sequel bait. The less said about Sting vs. Jarrett the better.
If I’m one of the few fans still watching and paying for WCW, why in the world am I going to keep going after this show, save for pure habit? Three big matches were promised and the best one under delivered. If that’s the best they can do at this point then they can’t close the doors fast enough. The worst part for me though is that this was somehow still better than a lot of what Russo had done earlier in the year. Those lats summer and early fall shows really were that bad, though this was getting close to their level.
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Thunder Date: October 18, 2000
Location: Rod Laver Arena, Melbourne, Australia
Commentators: Stevie Ray, Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone
We’ll wrap up the Australian tour with one of wrestling’s best traditions: a battle royal for a future title shot. In this case it’s all for the #1 contendership with the title shot coming on the Nitro after Halloween Havoc. These overseas shows have been hit or miss so it should be interesting to see how this one goes. Let’s get to it.
We see Sam Greco working out like any martial arts wrestler (in theory) does. He’ll be interviewed later.
Rey Mysterio vs. Mike Sanders
Before the match, Sanders praises Nash and the Thrillers but makes sure not to swear in the process. I can get behind that theory. This is going to be a non-title match so here’s Cat to make it No DQ as well. You know, because Rey Mysterio can get so violent and this will in no way allow interference by any of Sanders’ cronies.
Cat sits in on commentary as Mysterio takes over to start, which is made even better when Sanders lays on the middle rope for a legdrop. As in he walked over there and got into position for the move with no provocation so Rey could drop a leg on him. A top rope splash gives Rey two and now let’s look at the announcers cracking each other up. Rey bulldogs him down as this is pretty much the last thing you want to do to a champion. Then again O’Haire and Jindrak have been treated like goons for weeks and still have the belts so maybe Sanders is on to something here.
The Bronco Buster connects but Rey gets crotched on the top. Shouldn’t that have a similar impact? Sanders yells at Cat for some reason, allowing Rey to come back with a guillotine legdrop for two. A victory roll a few seconds later is enough to put Sanders away. No idea why this needed to be No DQ.
Rating: D+. Some of Rey’s high spots were good but this did more harm than good. Why WCW feels the need to have their young champions lose over and over is beyond me but that’s what we’re going to be seeing for the time being because Heaven forbid someone actually get over around here.
Shane Douglas promises to win the battle royal tonight. I wouldn’t bet on that one chum.
Video on Kronik vs. Goldberg.
Kronik jumps Goldberg from behind, possibly taking him out of the battle royal later. Smart move if nothing else.
Shane Douglas vs. Big Vito
Vito sucks up to the fans and wants to get his hands on Reno. You might try Nevada instead of Australia then. They circle each other to start until Vito gives him an atomic drop for a comedic sell job. Another atomic drop takes us to the floor and Shane gets backdropped outside for good measure. Vito hits a quick suplex and drops a headbutt for one, followed by his always good looking top rope elbow for double that. That means it’s chain time but a shot to Vito’s head only sets up the Pittsburgh Plunge for two. Not that it matters as the Franchiser ends Vito a few seconds later.
Rating: D. This was what you would expect: take someone who was hot a few years back and put them over someone you’ve been pushing lately because of whatever reason they have at the moment. Oh and make sure that the guy challenging for the Hardcore Title soon after this loses as soon as weapons get involved.
Goldberg beats up Ron Harris for no apparent reason.
Mike Awesome and Crowbar are ready for the battle royal tonight.
Boogie Knights vs. Harris Twins
This could be….well it’s going to be something for sure. After the Knights do some catchphrases, only Don comes out for some reason. The actual team takes over with a nice missile dropkick but Wright charges into a Rock Bottom. Cue Ron for a sidewalk slam on Disco….and an elbow to the Duck. Disco gets dropped face first onto the mat to send him outside where he finds ANOTHER Duck. A Duck shot to Ron sets up a high cross body to give Disco the pin.
Rating: D. I’m not sure what the point of this one was but it really didn’t work. I get the Goldberg stuff earlier in the night but the Boogie Knights vs. one of the Harris Twins really isn’t the way to get the crowd into a show. The Knights are actually a decent team though and that’s all they need to be since they aren’t likely to get near the titles anytime soon.
Team Canada promises to end General Rection’s career at Halloween Havoc. An argument breaks out over who deserves the World Title shot.
Video on Steiner vs. Booker T.
Scott Steiner invites Pamela Paulshock to join him later tonight. At least he has good taste.
Elix Skipper comes out to run his mouth about how awesome he is until someone sneaks up on him.
Goldberg vs. Elix Skipper
A gorilla press into a World’s Strongest Slam sets up the two moves and we’re done in a little over a minutes.
Post match Goldberg says that’s 11-0 and he’s coming for Kronik. As usual I’ll remind you: other than YOU’RE NEXT, Goldberg shouldn’t be talking.
As he’s done for weeks now, Jeff Jarrett says Sting is soft.
Jeff Jarrett/Scott Steiner vs. Kidman/Konnan
Steiner throws Kidman around like the cruiserweight jobber he is now and we’re already on the signature stuff. The gorilla press sets up the push-ups, followed by a quick stomping in the corner. Kidman gets in a quick dropkick before Konnan comes in with the rolling clothesline. It’s off to Kidman vs. Jarrett with the Sky High planting Jeff for two, only to have Torrie come out and kidnap Tygress. The top rope Angle Slam sets up the Recliner to put Kidman away in a hurry.
Rating: D. So much for Kidman meaning much around here anymore. Why bother keeping him strong when you can have Steiner and Jarrett beat up the Filthy Animals for fun? This was your usual squashing of two midcarders who could go somewhere in WCW but instead they get beaten down for the sake of Jeff Jarrett and Scott Steiner, the latter of whom is already #1 contender.
Goldberg is still here.
Ric Flair arrives.
Booker and Sting want the Tag Team Titles. For reasons that aren’t clear, Booker is in the battle royal tonight.
It’s time for the interview with Sam Greco who is officially part of WCW. He’s ready to be aggressive in the ring and is already friends with Goldberg. Tony asks about being a martial artist like the Cat but Greco would rather focus on wrestling in the ring. Greco talks about being a Rocky movie with a Goldberg intensity. We wrap it up with Greco saying he’ll be bringing intensity to the table three or four times. From what I can find, Greco only wrestled three times with all three matches in Japan and the first being in November 2002.
The Thrillers sing a little Backstreet Boys. Sanders is told to make sure the team keeps the titles tonight.
Video on Jarrett vs. Sting.
Tag Team Titles: Booker T./Sting vs. Mark Jindrak/Sean O’Haire
Booker and Sting are challenging. Sting and O’Haire get things going with the champions taking over early on until Jindrak comes in to send Sting outside. In a ridiculous power display, the champs throw Sting over the top and back inside. For some reason Madden asks if the Funk Brothers are up and coming contenders. Sting elbows them both out of the corner and the hot tag brings in Booker to clean house. The ax and side kicks get two on Sean and it’s a double finisher, only to have Mike Sanders come in and jump the referee for the DQ. After the champions were knocked out in less than three minutes of course.
Sting and Booker pose as Tony says the fans deserved a better match than that. Well yeah.
This Week in WCW Motorsports was very bad as the car didn’t qualify for the race.
Kronik vs. Perfect Event
Clark doesn’t waste any time and dives off the apron to take Palumbo out, leaving Stasiak alone for a bit. The power guys beat on him like he’s the weak link of the Thrillers, which is the way the announcers are presenting him for whatever reason. I mean, ignore the team that loses all the time when you can make fun of Stasiak right? The full nelson slam causes Stasiak to kick Palumbo in the face, setting up High Times for the pin on Chuck.
Post match here’s Goldberg but he gets chaired down, followed by High Times.
Here’s Ric Flair to be interviewed by Mark Madden. Ric talks about the fans being amazing in the best country in the world because the women here are amazing. However, he’s here to bring his son home. Cue David in a white coat and Ric gets right to the point: they can have all the women they want for the next thirty days if he’ll come home. David says no so Ric leaves, causing Madden to yell at David, basically erasing all the times that he ripped on Ric months ago. With Mark yelling, David tries to give him a blood test.
Halloween Havoc video.
Countdown to Armageddon
This is basically a Royal Rumble allegedly with two minute intervals. Mike Sanders and the Cat start things off and yeah they’re not even trying to hide the fake randomness. They slug it out to start with Cat getting in an elbow and a kick because what else was he going to hit? Shawn Stasiak is in at #3 and it’s time for the run of the mill team beating on a single guy.
Chuck Palumbo is in at #4 and the intervals are more like thirty to forty seconds. The three on one beatdown continues until it’s Disco Inferno in at #5. Disco is smart enough to hang back while everyone beats on Cat until Alex Wright comes in at #6 because RANDOM. It’s rather amusing to hear Tony try to push this as a random draw which WWE was nice enough to drop years ago. Crowbar, minus the 70s stuff, is in at #7. Naturally this turns into a debate about whether or not it’s bad to work at a service station.
Ron Harris is in at #8 as these intervals are getting shorter and shorter. Don Harris is in at #9 as the ring is way too full. Jim Duggan is in at #10 as there’s barely time to write out who is entering before Penzer starts the next countdown. Duggan slugs away for a bit and it’s Lieutenant Loco in at #11. Kevin Nash is in at #12 and we take a break to come back with Nash just getting in the ring to get rid of Duggan, Loco, Sanders and Cat in just a few seconds. The Boogie Knights get rid of Crowbar but get dumped by Nash as David Flair is in at #13.
Perfect Event gets rid of the Harris Twins but get in a fight, allowing Stasiak to hit a horrible right hand to get rid of Palumbo. Stasiak jumps out to avoid facing Nash, who dumps David a few seconds later. Corporal Cajun is in at #14 and eliminated fifteen seconds later, leaving Nash alone. Kwee Wee is in at #15 and is eliminated even faster than Cajun. At least we don’t have to sit around in the meantime.
Rey Mysterio is in at #16 and actually puts Nash down with a springboard missile dropkick. Mysterio escapes a Jackknife and here’s Booker T., as in the World Champion in a match for the #1 contendership, in at #17. That goes nowhere so here’s Mike Awesome at #18. Sting is in at #19 as we’re getting some interesting names in there but the short intervals are making it really hard to care. Everyone goes after Nash, which Madden says is like an old kung fu movie. Nash gets dumped as Jeff Jarrett comes in at #20, though Scott Steiner comes in as well. We’ll call that #21.
Sting Cactus Clotheslines Jeff out for the double elimination (with Steiner leaving as well) and it’s Kidman in at #22. Awesome dumps Booker off camera (oh come on), leaving us with Awesome, Kidman and Mysterio. Lance Storm is in at #23 and nothing happens until Big Vito is in at #24. Sean O’Haire is in at #25 as the announcers can’t remember what number we’re on.
Mark Jindrak is in at #26 as they aren’t even hiding the random stuff here. Konnan is in at #27 as the mindless brawling continues. Kronik, as in both members, come in at #28 and Adams gets rid of Kidman in a hurry. Rey and Konnan go out as well, followed by Storm and Vito. The intervals have stopped and Adams hits the ugliest piledriver I’ve ever seen to thankfully not cripple Awesome.
That’s not enough to get rid of him though so here’s Goldberg, apparently not an entrant because he can’t get a title shot (but the WORLD CHAMPION can). Jindrak and O’Haire are put out and Clark quickly follows. Adams tries to bring in a chair but gets speared, setting up a double clothesline from Awesome and Goldberg to give Mike the win, thereby confusing the fans since Goldberg is still in the ring as Awesome is announced as the winner.
Rating: C. Some really questionable moments aside, this was actually pretty enjoyable. I kind of liked the hyper intervals as it kept the match from dragging because people like Jindrak, Loco and Kwee Wee certainly aren’t getting a title shot so why pretend they will? Awesome winning is a nice surprise, even though the 70s music playing to end the show really made it feel silly. It’s good to see someone fresh in the main event instead of having the same five or six guys get title shot after title shot. This was as good as it was going to be and they managed to avoid most of the stupid battle royal tropes so call it a nice surprise.
Overall Rating: D+. The big main event helped but the rest of the show still had so many of the same problems that regularly plague WCW. As is so often the case, the World Title is the only thing that matters, assuming you have any reason to care about it after all the damage it’s taken over the last year. Not a terrible show but still bad enough to fit the WCW mold to a tee.
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Thunder – October 11, 2000: I Don’t Want To Jump Off A Cliff
Thunder Date: October 11, 2000
Location: Entertainment Centre, Brisbane, Australia
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Stevie Ray
We’re still down in Australia for a show that was taped right after Nitro. Monday’s show was an improvement but it’s hard to say how well that’s going to carry over because this company has the consistency of a broken roller coaster. Halloween Havoc is in a few weeks and most of the card is already set though so let’s get to it.
Scott Steiner and Jeff Jarrett yell at Shawn Stasiak, telling him to tell Sanders that Steiner wants Booker tonight. Of all the people you could tell this to, you pick Shawn Stasiak?
Shane Douglas/Lance Storm vs. Konnan/General Rection
Fallout from the Down Underwear match on Monday. Before the match, Douglas and Torrie rip on the Australians for being wannabe Americans. O Canada is interrupted by the Misfits theme, which is quite the downgrade. The good guys rush the ring and clean house before we get going. Douglas and Konnan slug it out in the corner to start but Storm sneaks in with a blind tag, setting up a springboard cross body to drop Konnan in a nice move.
The heels take turns on Konnan with Shane nailing a nice basement dropkick. You would have thought Storm would use that spot. Gunns offers a quick trip though and a double clothesline puts Storm and Konnan down. We get a good looking catfight as Rection comes in off the hot tag. Rection’s top rope elbow gets two on Storm with Shane using a reverse Hennig necksnap for the save. Cue Kidman for a Kid Crusher to Shane, setting up No Laughing Matter for the pin.
Rating: C. Storyline advancement, Kidman, a three way catfight and some good looking stuff from Storm and Douglas. What more can you ask for from a short tag match between two midcard storylines? If I didn’t know any better, I’d think WCW was actually being booked somewhat well.
Mike Sanders is singing Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport (obviously an Outback Jack fan) when Stasiak comes in to explain Steiner’s demands. Booker gets a non-title match tonight (not necessarily against Steiner) and a quick argument breaks out over a stuffed kangaroo.
Here’s the Cat to talk to Australian martial arts champion Sam Greco. Sam admits that most people don’t know who he is but he’ll fight anyone that WCW puts in front of him. Cue the Thrillers, with Sanders saying Cat can’t hire anyone. Cat: “I hired your mom last night.” Sanders is annoyed so Cat gives him Stevie Ray tonight, which forces him to make Cat vs. Kevin Nash. We’re still not done yet though as Cat changes the match to Sanders vs. Sting. Greco kicks Sanders down and that’s supposed to be his big introduction. Tank Abbott he is not.
Jindrak and O’Haire don’t have much to say to Sanders.
Tag Team Titles: Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak vs. Lieutenant Loco/Corporal Cajun
Jindrak and O’Haire are defending and start beating up the much smaller guys in a hurry. Loco is thrown across the ring and clotheslined down. The Misfits come right back with DDT’s, only to have Sean plant Loco with a tilt-a-whirl slam. The hurricanrana into the Seanton gets two with Chavo making the save, setting up a Frog splash for two on Sean. Leroux grabs a hurricanrana of his own for the very quick pin on Jindrak for the titles in a big surprise.
Rating: C. They kept this one moving fast in the smartest move of the night as Chavo and Leroux are only so interesting even when they’re at their highest speed. O’Haire and Jindrak are a good, young team and it’s really no surprise that they lose in a nothing match like this to a low level team.
Not so fast though as Sanders comes out and says the rematch is RIGHT NOW.
Tag Team Titles: Lieutenant Loco/Corporal Cajun vs. Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak
A quick double rollup gets two on the new champs and Sean superkicks Chavo. Lash dives back in with a high cross body for two, followed by a botched sunset flip for the same. All four stay in the ring and we get an awkward sequence where Sean brings in a belt but watches Jindrak get sunset flipped again for two more before hitting Lash in the head to turn a hurricanrana into a powerbomb. That’s still not it though as Chavo makes the save but gets knocked out, setting up the Seanton for the pin to give the Thrillers the titles back. Too short to rate but as usual the title change doesn’t mean much.
AWOL comes out to fight the champs.
Elix Skipper brags about being an Olympian and wants Kidman later tonight.
Kronik vs. Booker T.
Non-title. Before the match Booker doe some good sucking up to the fans. Well what else is a face champion supposed to do? The beatdown is on in a hurry with Kronik beating Booker down like he’s any given jobber. It’ snot like titles mean anything anyway right? The full nelson slam looks to set up High Times but here’s Goldberg through the crowd to spear Clark. Adams almost gets a full nelson slam on Goldberg but eats a superkick from Booker as the match is thrown out. Well that was pointless.
Chuck Palumbo is on the phone with someone who might be his mom and asks for advice against Goldberg.
Johnny the Bull tells an arriving Nash that Sanders is having problems but Nash doesn’t seem worried.
Kidman vs. Elix Skipper
This could be fun and Duggan is with Skipper. Kidman pounds away to start and dives onto Duggan with a nice plancha. Back in and Kidman misses a quick splash, allowing Skipper to stomp away. We get some CANADA SUCKS chants as Skipper misses a top rope elbow (drawing a Macho Man reference from Madden).
The Bodog gets two for Kidman and a quick BK Bomb gets the same. Kidman gets crotched and Skipper rope walks into a hurricanrana for a cool looking yet mostly screwed up spot. Not that it matters as Duggan gets in a board shot, setting up the Play of the Week (Wasn’t it Play of the Day last time?) for the pin.
Rating: C-. I was expecting more here but they’re doing a good job of building Skipper up as a player in the division. This makes him 1-1 against Mysterio and Kidman which is a lot better than a lot of people do. Just like so many cares before him though, it’s likely that he winds up doing nothing because the Cruiserweight Title is stuck in an angle instead of a feud but at least he isn’t being wasted.
Palumbo confirms that he was indeed talking to his mom but lets it slip that she told him to run. WHY ARE YOU TREATING THE THRILLERS LIKE WORTHLESS COWARDS??? WCW spent all this time and effort to bring these guys up (years after they should have) and it’s another excuse to waste them while making the old guys look strong. Yeah they’ve gotten the midcard titles that almost everyone has won over the years and haven’t done anything for anyone but since it’s WCW they do the same things over and over and over again and then wonder why it doesn’t go anywhere.
It’s time for an Australian Lava Lamp Lounge because this gimmick WILL get over no matter how dead it is. At least the set is a bit more festive this week with the Australian décor. Tonight’s guests are Kwee Wee (not Kiwi Mike, though it would be easier to type) and Paisley and Mike gets right to hitting on her. Kwee Wee talks about training with the Thrillers and yells at Mike for the Paisley stuff, only to have the Thrillers and Harris Brothers come out for the weekly attack. Another week with the same stuff because WCW wants to make Mike Awesome look as stupid and worthless as possible.
Sanders tells Nash about his match with Sting tonight. So Nash wasn’t watching the show either?
Goldberg vs. Chuck Palumbo
After the long entrance, Palumbo (looking very serious in yellow) tries a cheap shot with as much success as you would expect. Stasiak gets in a shot from the apron but Goldberg no sells a top rope shoulder. A spear drops both guys and Goldberg Jackhammers both of them for back to back pins, making the new streak 7-0. To be fair they had to do something to make this new one get higher in a hurry and this is as good as they can get.
Halloween Havoc video.
Sting vs. Mike Sanders
Non-title of course. Jarrett comes out dressed as Surfer Sting (again to Metallica) and points the bat at Sanders. Jeff talks about having no heart anymore and lays down, drawing out the real Sting to clean house. A Stinger Splash misses though and Sanders gets in a few bat shots followed by a dancing DiBiase falling punch. We hit a cobra clutch of all things until Sting makes the obvious comeback with three Stinger Splashes and a Death Drop for the easy pin. Good thing those baseball bat shots didn’t have too much effect.
Post break Sanders yells at the Thrillers, even though he should be yelling at Jarrett for bailing so early. Then again, heels aren’t supposed to make sense.
Harris Twins vs. Mike Awesome/Crowbar
Awesome gets beaten down by the Twins to start as the referee continues to not care about doing his job. Crowbar dropkicks both Twins out to the floor and the thrown together 70s team (the fact that Crowbar was one of the roster’s hidden gems for so long and gets this as a reward sums up a lot of WCW’s problems) getting the better of it early on.
Crowbar tries to speed things up a bit too much though until he charges into a Rock Bottom as everything breaks down. A nice wheelbarrow suplex (always liked that move) drops Ron but it’s already table time. I’m not sure if I’d rather have a table involved or watch the Harris Brothers try to have a regular match. The table is set in the corner but Awesome counters a powerbomb with a backdrop to drive Ron through for the pin.
Rating: C-. The action was faster paced here but the important thing is the Twins losing. I know it isn’t going to mean anything long term but at least a team of two talented guys who work hard got a win over one of the least interesting acts in the company. Maybe that’s just dumb luck or maybe it’s Russo being gone. Either way, at least it was the right call.
Rey Mysterio vs. Scott Steiner
We get a few rhymes from Steiner about how awesome he is with the ladies. For some reason Stevie says that watching BET at night doesn’t mean you’re going to win. Tony: “Tygress, you got it girl.” Steiner knees Rey in the ribs to start and we’re already in squash mode. If it’s good enough for the Jung Dragons, squashing Rey isn’t much of a stretch of course. I mean, all cruiserweights are the same right?
Rey tries to speed things up but gets his head taken off by a clothesline. Steiner throws him over the top but Rey hangs on, allowing him to drop a springboard legdrop to break up the pushups. A hurricanrana staggers Steiner again….and he throws Rey down with a suplex to take over again. Something like an Angle Slam from the middle rope sets up the Recliner to end this squash.
Rating: D. I get the idea here but there has to be someone besides Mysterio that you could put into this spot. Normally this should have been Lash Leroux but for some reason we already saw him twice tonight. You can’t find anyone else other than the most successful cruiserweight the company has ever had to take this beating? No one at all? With the roster WCW had they didn’t have three schnooks to put out there and get squashed in a handicap match?
Kevin Nash vs. The Cat
Oh wait as here’s Mike Sanders because we haven’t seen him enough. Stevie: “When is he going to defend that belt?” Tony announcers Nitro and Thunder in England next month but Stevie doesn’t want to go. Did he turn heel and I missed it? Sanders sits in on commentary in a holdover Russo trope but pops up to the apron for an early distraction. You know, because Kevin Nash needs help against The Cat.
Nash does his usual slow offense in the corner while throwing in some trash talk. Now it’s Nash offering a test of strength but getting kicked in the ribs for a surprise knockdown. I’m stunned Nash actually bumped for that. Another karate shot stuns Nash but he kicks Cat in the face. There go the straps but Sanders comes in with a chair to knock Cat out for absolutely no apparent reason.
Booker comes out to save Cat from a powerbomb through the chair. This brings out Steiner which brings out Sting which brings out Jarrett. The heels dominate until Goldberg comes out, only to have Kronik run in and give Goldberg High Times to end the show. One note here: for the last few weeks they’ve had a Halloween Havoc countdown come on screen a few times a show. It’s a good idea to keep fans thinking about this but also letting them know that they’re running out of time to order the show. I wish more companies would do this today as it can’t take more than a few buttons to get it on screen.
Overall Rating: D+. Again, better show here as the problems that have been plaguing the shows are still there but they’re toned way down. They need to cut out the dueling authority figures nonsense and stop with the quick title changes but the show doesn’t feel as chaotic. It doesn’t make me want to throw the remote at the screen anymore and is now just more of a show with a lot of problems instead of a show flying off a cliff. That’s something, right?
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Monday Nitro #257 Date: September 11, 2000
Location: Independence Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Mark Madden, Tony Schiavone, Jeremy Borash
It’s the go home show for Fall Brawl and we’re now back to the build for the pay per view after last week’s stand alone WarGames (in name only) show. Unfortunately that leaves the whole card starting from a dead end as last week had nothing to do with Booker vs. Nash or Steiner vs. Goldberg. Instead, we have a big story of David Flair marrying Miss Hancock and a possible Ric Flair appearance in another stand alone story. Let’s get to it.
David arrived earlier and Crowbar, Ozzy and Daffney greeted him to bury the hatchet. No sign of Ric though.
Jeff Jarrett thinks he should offer some entertainment for the wedding.
Opening sequence.
The arena lighting seems dark, probably to hide a low attendance.
Tag Team Titles: Filthy Animals vs. Kronik
Rey and Juvy are defending. Before the match, Disqo runs his mouth and ticks Kronik off even more after the Animals were laid out on Thunder. It’s a brawl to start as Konnan talks about throwing Rey in quicksand. We settle down to Adams pounding Juvy in the corner and hitting a quick F5, though the landing looked more like a DDT. Rey gets a blind tag and the Animals actually double suplex Adams. That’s quite the surprise but you can only be so shocked when Konnan is talking about no selling and taking bumps.
Clark comes in and plants Juvy with a full nelson slam but Adams gives Rey an even bigger one. Cue the Harris Twins (of course) for a distraction, allowing Disqo to hit Clark with a chair and give him the Last Dance on the floor. Back in and Juvy’s 450 (he hit the mat first) only gets two. Instead it’s the What’s Up with the legdrop (named the Nutcracker) retains the titles.
Rating: C. Such is life in WCW. I was actually starting to get into this until the Twins came in to screw things up. It’s interference to set up a match that isn’t interesting and most people don’t want to see, but for some reason we’re getting the Harris Twins in the top spot instead of ANYONE else. Also, what was up with wasting the 450 near the end?
Stacy Keibler arrives.
Recap of WarGames, complete with the line of “it’s another Russo swerve!”
Tony promises an update on Vince Russo, who has suffered his third concussion in three months. I understand that concussions are bad, but I’m having issues feeling sorry for Russo when he keeps injecting himself into these big matches. He’s getting all the glory in the matches and that comes with the damage. It’s almost like someone of average size shouldn’t be getting destroyed by people the size of pro wrestlers. Apparently Russo has had to have brain surgery. Tony: “Tonight: a wedding and brain surgery.”
Here’s the Cat to say he’s in charge because Russo’s injunction was thrown out of court. Therefore, Booker vs. Nash on Sunday is now in a cage. As for tonight though, Nash is defending the title against Scott Steiner. That leaves Jeff Jarrett, who Miss Jones wants to fight. Jarrett comes out and promises to win and prove that men are superior to women. He’s even willing to wrestle handcuffed. Cat and Jeff start fighting until Steiner comes out to put Cat in the Recliner.
Booker and Sting (without paint) arrive and don’t seem worried that Steiner and Jarrett are taking over.
Big Vito vs. Reno
Stick ball bat on a pole, which is how things go in the neighborhood apparently. It must be one of the slums of Parts Unknown. Palumbo is here with Reno. Vito starts fast with a Japanese armdrag but has to go after Palumbo. A quick suplex drops Reno but the referee gets bumped. Vito grabs the stick, only to have Reno lay him out with the Roll of the Dice for no count. Cue the returning Johnny the Bull to help stand off with the Thrillers, only to turn on Vito (a full THIRTY SECONDS after coming out to defend him), giving Reno the pin.
The rest of the Thrillers come in to beat Vito down. I can’t get over the fact that this is supposed to be a swerve. It really was just thirty seconds.
Cat yells at Booker and Sting for being late but they leave together.
Steiner/Jarrett/Nash say they’re in charge tonight. Booker/Sting/Cat come in with the latter saying he’s in charge.
Madusa says she doesn’t like the women around here even though she trained them. Therefore, tonight she gets to beat up Torrie Wilson.
Torrie Wilson vs. Madusa
The announcers talk about the history of scaffold matches and we actually get a Jim Cornette reference. Madden: “Cornette fell off the scaffold and ended his career. He just doesn’t know it yet.” Madusa beats on her for about twenty seconds before Shane comes in for the DQ.
Post match Shane puts Madusa in an STF (of course) until Kidman comes in for the save. Yeah these two are feuding in case you forgot. Madusa adds herself and Torrie to make it a tag team scaffold match on Sunday. Did they really forget the lessons from Great American Bash 1991?
Crowbar helps David get ready.
Jimmy Hart hands Miss Hancock an envelope.
Mike Awesome shows up in That 70s Bus.
Nash suggests that Steiner lay down for him tonight.
Jeff Jarrett vs. Miss Jones
Apparently Goldberg is going to be enforcer in the World Title match. Jarrett rants about “broads” thinking they can compete with men in this ring. Remember Jeff is going to wrestle handcuffed. Tony: “That means he can’t use the Stroke or the guitar.” Yeah the guitar is illegal here, meaning it’s legal otherwise. Cat gets in a few cheap shots before the bell and Jones hammers away, only to kick the referee low by mistake. Jeff kicks her in the ribs to break up a guitar shot before knocking her out with it for the pin.
See, if they actually wanted to go with something interesting here, have the trained wrestler Madusa fight Jarrett in what could be an entertaining match. Instead, we get another woman getting beaten up with little to no defense.
Anyway post match, Awesome comes out to beat up the still handcuffed Jarrett.
Nash is drawing his plan on a dry erase board. After some jokes about anatomy, Steiner thinks he should win and throws a marker. Just have them SWERVE us already so they can laugh.
Post break, Jarrett is annoyed at Nash for not coming down to help him (Nash and Steiner had said they were turning off the monitor so it’s not a huge issue). Jarrett tells Nash to deal with their stupid friend.
Here’s Jim Duggan with something to say. Duggan is so thankful to have gotten through cancer and is glad to be back here with the fans. However, in the last few weeks, he’s been realizing that he can’t beat Father Time. He’s been around for twenty years and unlike some people, he’s fine with stepping aside so the young talent can make wrestling into something we can all be proud of.
Duggan announces his retirement before talking about how he needs someone to take up the 2×4 and the American flag. That man is General Rection and there goes the idea. Rection comes out and shakes Duggan’s hand but here are Lance Storm and Major Gunns (now in a Maple Leaf top and white shorts) with the former saying no one cares about this. A non-title match is set up and we’re on.
Lance Storm vs. General Rection
Storm stomps him down to start as Duggan jumps in on commentary to say “come on Hugh.” A suplex brings Rection over the ropes for two but he powerbombs Storm out of the air for two. No Laughing Matter misses and the Maple Leaf goes on but Duggan points out the arm under the ropes. Duggan gets knocked off the apron so he hits Storm with the 2×4, right into a powerslam for the pin. Well at least Duggan didn’t turn on America. That would have been ridiculous.
Stacy opens the letter she got earlier and freaks out.
It’s time for the wedding with the bride and groom down to the ring in a hurry. Naturally we get a promo with David talking about how he’s let a lot of people down. That means he’d like Arn Anderson to come out here right now. Anderson says it might not be today and it might not be tomorrow, but his 21 year old buddies are going to call him and ask him to do something. It’s easier to get forgiveness than permission.
Also hide some of that wedding money because one day you’re going to come home late and she’s going to get mad, but then she’ll tell you to go get a good night’s sleep. When that happens, take that money and RUN. That’s all the advise from Arn, which is a shame because that was hilarious.
David isn’t done yet though as he wants someone special down here as his best man: his dad, Ric Flair. Cue a smiling Ric, now with hair again (though it’s a bit spiky now instead of the classic style). Ric says he’s a proud father tonight and he can’t wait to have this beautiful woman as part of his family in the greatest city in the world. No drama here so it’s time for the wedding.
As the minister goes on, here are a bunch of security guards and cops to arrest Ric. Apparently Vince Russo has taken out a restraining order against him and Ric has to be arrested for coming within 100 feet of this building. Ric is arrested and taken away, sending Stacy running out of the ring. So in other words, even when he’s not here, HAHA MANLY RUSSO WINS!
After a break, Ric is put in a cop car and driven away. Arn promises to bail him out as soon as possible.
The announcers talk and you can see that the entire section off the floor behind the desk is empty. The whole arena only holds 9,600 people and assuming they have most of the fans on one side of the arena, they MIGHT have 2,000 people there.
We see some of Russo’s beatings and now it’s time for the video of his brain surgery. It’s accompanied by a doctor talking about how hard this has been on Russo and how he’ll be out for a long time. You know, because we need to feel sorry for our top heel. Tony doesn’t buy the story so maybe it’s not as stupid as it seems.
Sting vs. Harris Brothers
If Cat is in charge tonight, why did he book Sting like this? The Brothers have chains for whatever reason but Sting hits the Splash and gets Don in the Deathlock in about a minute. Ron makes the save so here’s Kronik with chains of their own to choke out the twins. The beating goes on for a long time and Sting is put on top for the pin. What was the point here? Sting has a match on Sunday but other than a quick mention, this was all about Kronik and the Brothers.
Steiner yells at Jarrett.
Stacy is still freaking out when David comes in. He doesn’t care about anything that happened tonight because he just wants to marry her. Stacy says no but he talks her into it.
It’s time for another try at the wedding with the minister talking about trust. That’s too much for Stacy because, shock and awe, David isn’t the father of the baby. David freaks and Stacy runs off. The announcers find this funny for some reason.
Post break, Stacy jumps in a limo and David can’t get there. We pan over to Awesome escorting Pamela onto the bus until Jarrett lays him out. The Thrillers come in to keep up the beating.
Steiner yells about his freaks and the Earth rotating on a 47 degree axis. He’ll beat on Goldberg too.
The announcers talk again and fans have been moved in to fill in the gap. I’m stunned that the production staff actually pays attention. Or that they exist for that matter.
WCW World Title: Kevin Nash vs. Scott Steiner
Nash is defending, Cat is on commentary, Booker T. is guest referee and Goldberg is enforcer. Before the match, Booker promises to get the title back on Sunday. Steiner (still with a protective mask on) isn’t interested in the fingerpoke so Nash tries to leave. That’s not cool with Scott so they actually start fighting. Nash takes over to start until Steiner scores with a clothesline and the bicep elbow. Booker counts slowly and it’s time to beat up the referee. Goldberg comes in and I’m assuming the match is thrown out somewhere in there.
Another referee tries to come in but gets sent to the floor as Steiner suplexes Goldberg. Booker is down on the floor and Cat stays on commentary as the good guys are beaten down. Cat finally takes a chair away from Steiner, allowing Goldberg to start his comeback. It’s Booker beating on Nash as it’s clear that a tag match would have been a decent idea here.
The other referee is circling this stuff like it’s a match for whatever reason….and here’s That 70s Bus down the aisle. The Thrillers come out and start brawling as well, followed by Jarrett with a pipe. Booker gets powerbombed and thrown through the windshield. Now it’s Goldberg being handcuffed to the front of the bus but he breaks the grill off as we go off the air.
Overall Rating: F. I know I say this a lot but what a mess this was. Sunday’s two big matches were set up a bit but there was just so much other stuff going on that there’s no way to get behind the show. The ending was a disaster and just another part of all the messiness that bogged the show down. The longest match was about four minutes (the opener) and the rest of the show was a combination of men beating on women, the double wedding and short angles disguised as matches.
I really don’t have an interest in Sunday’s show and so much of that is because I can barely remember most of the card. As usual, one of the major problems of this kind of booking is trying to keep track of why something happened. Why are Goldberg and Steiner fighting? I’m not entirely sure, though I’m sure it was some swerve that came a few weeks ago. The swerves kind of run together after awhile, especially when you can see them coming so far away. Russo really doesn’t have a ton of ideas and once you get a handle on him, any magic he might have goes away in a hurry. Really bad show this week but that’s to be expected.
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Thunder Date: August 16, 2000
Location: Riverside Coliseum, Kamloops, British Columbia, Canada
Attendance: 3,264
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Stevie Ray
With New Blood Rising out of the way, it’s time to crank up the horrible again as this past Monday went insane all over again. We’re building towards a double main event at Fall Brawl with Kevin Nash vs. Booker T. for the World Title and Goldberg vs. Scott Steiner in a battle of the monsters. Let’s get to it.
Kevin Nash is in the back when Rick Steiner comes up to argue about who should be the #1 contender. The solution: Nash vs. Steiner tonight. If Steiner wins, his brother gets the title shot. Well at least they’re not jobbing Scott again.
Team Canada arrives, minus Jacques Rougeau (allegedly over not wanting to do a job). Cat comes up to say it’s going to be Team Canada vs. three Americans. Can one of them please not be the Cat?
Kronik vs. Juggernaut/Ladies’ Choice/Michelle Starr/Rockford 2000
Jobbers of course and Kronik promises to beat them in less than two minutes. I don’t think this requires too much of an explanation as it’s total destruction with Clark taking them to the floor and powerbombing one onto the bodies of the other two. The full nelson slam and High Time pins Juggernaut in a hurry.
Post match the Harris Twins appear on the screen with a challenge before riding away on their bikes.
Mark Madden and Gene Okerlund are getting ready in the back. Yes they’re actually doing this.
Disqo can’t convince the Filthy Animals to let Mike Sanders join. He’d be better at talking than any of them so I don’t see their objection.
Vampiro yells at Muta and throws an ax.
Here’s David Flair to call out Miss Hancock. After a lot of lame lines about how amazing she is, David drops to a knee to propose. Before he can get the question out though, here’s MIA for no apparent reason to destroy him. Wall chokeslams him a few times before the team leaves. Hancock, ever the nice person, yells at David for screwing this up too and leaves, only to stop to dance a bit. Ok then.
The MIA says no one touches Major Gunns like David did on Monday. Tonight they’re going to war with Team Canada and Rection promises to bring the US Title back to America.
Crowbar and Daffney saw what happened to David but Daffney says she’s over him. This gives Crowbar hope but a guy comes up with candy and flowers for her from the secret admirer. She continues to be oblivious to Crowbar’s feelings for her. Given that Russo is writing, can we set a timer before Crowbar snaps and beats her up?
Rey Mysterio/Juventud Guerrera vs. Mark Jindrak/Sean O’Haire
I don’t think the titles are on the line here. Sanders is with the Animals here, or “Above Mike Average” according to Tony. Disqo lets Mike talk for a bit and gets a glare from Konnan. Juvy pounds on Jindrak in the corner to start but he gets caught in the wrong corner. On commentary, Konnan says any combination of the Animals can defend the titles. It’s quickly off to Mysterio vs. O’Haire with Rey charging into a powerslam as Tygress makes it a five person commentary booth.
Everything breaks down and Juvy uses Rey as a springboard to take Jindrak down and a bulldog does the same. Back up and Sean sends Rey in for a tilt-a-whirl side slam, followed by a backdrop to send Juvy outside. There’s the Seanton bomb to Rey and Sanders turns on Konnan (shocking), allowing Palumbo (no Stasiak) and Reno to come in and beat on the Animals for the DQ.
Rating: C-. The match was fine until the obvious and nonsensical ending. Was there any reason to have Sanders out there with the Animals in the first place if he was just going to turn on them a few minutes later? It was actually working because you had talented guys having a match but of course that wasn’t going to last around this time.
Okerlund asks Norman Smiley for help but Smiley is too busy trying to get out of the hardcore division. With no help coming, Gene thinks about doing a hurricanrana.
Tank Abbott is annoyed at 3 Count and tells them to get back to the studio to fix the new song. 3 Count doesn’t seem pleased but are you going to argue with Tank?
Demon vs. Great Muta
No Vampiro anywhere in sight to start. Muta fires off some kicks but charges into a boot in the corner. Demon slowly beats on Muta with his really lame offense, including a snapmare and suplex for two. Thankfully Muta, who is more uninterested here than horrible, comes back with his kicks and starts working on the knee. Cue Vampiro to make sure this doesn’t get interesting as Demon makes his comeback. Vampiro throws Muta a kendo stick, which the referee doesn’t seem to mind, to beat Demon down again. The dragon screw leg whip is broken up by an enziguri, only to have the green mist set up Muta’s moonsault for the quick pin.
Rating: D. Nothing to see here as this story continues to bore everyone half to death. I have no idea why I’m supposed to care about Vampiro, Demon and Muta having these random matches against each other while Vampiro tries to be a less talented (and shorter) Undertaker. Another dull match though with Muta just going through the motions, though can you blame him?
Post match Demon gets beaten down some more and Vampiro promises to destroy Sting.
Someone knocks on Rick Steiner’s door but there’s no one there.
Madden insults Pamela and promises to beat up her sugar daddy tonight. Who knew Gene was loaded?
Misfits in Action vs. Team Canada
Rection/Loco/Cajun here. The fans go off on the Misfits for interrupting the Canadian national anthem which is still odd to see. Skipper can’t keep up with Cajun to start and gets caught in a quick suplex so it’s off to Loco and Carl (with his hard to spell last name, though apparently he’s now known as the Rage). A headscissors staggers Carl so he grabs Loco and hits one heck of a chokeslam to knock him silly.
It’s off to Skipper for a suplex before handing it to Storm for a great looking dropkick. Loco finally gets in a DDT to Storm and makes the hot tag off to Rection. Everything breaks down as Rection cleans house, including No Laughing Matter on Carl, only to have Skipper nail him with the Cruiserweight Title. Storm grabs the Maple Leaf to make Rection tap.
Rating: D+. Quick and mostly inoffensive here but there really isn’t much to see. Team Canada winning in Canada was the only option but the Misfits really aren’t the most interesting team in the world. Does anyone remember why they started in the first place at this point? Now they’re just a military themed midcard stable which has been done so many times before.
Post match Cat comes out and makes himself vs. Storm with the US Title and commissionership on the line.
US Title: The Cat vs. Lance Storm
Storm is defending so Cat elbows him in the face to start, only to dance too much and get caught in a sunset flip. A jawbreaker and shoulder (with Storm landing on his feet) drop Cat but he pops up with the Feliner. The referee takes his sweet time counting though, likely meaning Carl was late running to the ring with the Canadian flag for the DQ.
Cat promises vengeance on Nitro.
Rick Steiner yells at Pamela (why do people hate her so much?) and a piece of the set falls on him. Scott Steiner comes in to yell at people.
Mark Madden vs. Gene Okerlund
Let’s get this over with. Madden is in a Steelers jersey and says when he kills Okerlund, every coroner on the planet will swear it was old age. Gene is in what looks like a local hockey jersey, a Canada hat and sunglasses. They make it a street fight just because. Before the match, we have a posedown with Madden teasing taking his shirt off. A single forearm drops Mark but he comes back with a few chokes.
Cue Smiley but Carl (WAY too much of him tonight) cuts him off. This brings out Vito to fight Carl as Gene gives Madden a right hand for the most awkward two count of all time. Madden loads up a Vader Bomb but here’s Pamela to hit him low and give Gene the pin. Too short to rate but they kept this goofy enough to prevent this from being horrible.
Pamela kisses Gene during the celebration.
Here’s your weekly sitdown interview, this time with Jeff Jarrett. Jeff talks about wrestling being ahead of the curve for years and they’re right in the middle of that at the moment. He sees the problem as people learning to wrestle in six months at the Power Plant and then showing up on Nitro without learning how this business works. Quite true actually. The fans are the only ones that can change that but Jeff goes into a discussion of wrestlers who want it because they’ll put in the effort to learn every time they’re in the ring.
As for leaving the WWF, Jeff hasn’t looked back and knows it was the right decision. Jeff thinks WCW is starting to get it, even though they’re down right now. Tony brings up the New Blood Rising match and calls it the match of the year. Jeff doesn’t agree (good) and thinks he could have done better. The match was good and he respects Booker T., who should be a model of what wrestlers should be. Jeff wants to bring the workrate up in WCW but backstage issues have been causing them a lot of problems. Imagine what could happen if they kept going in the right direction.
This interview, while far less infuriating because Jeff was absolutely right on a lot of things he was saying, continues the trend of having no real point. Jarrett was out of character here, which probably confused most of the fans watching this. It made sense to me because I got what was going on, but most fans would have been wondering why he was so nonchalant about losing to Booker and wasn’t threatening Tony with a guitar.
In other words, these things continue to only entertain people who already know what Jarrett or others are talking about and really offer little to the masses. Hence why it’s longer than any match on the show, because that’s what these shows exist for: to entertain everyone other than the viewers at home.
Kidman tells Vito that he’ll have his back against Carl tonight. Apparently Vito vs. Reno is family business.
Big Vito vs. Carl Ouellet
Carl jumps him to start and gets in a quick slam, only to miss a middle rope legdrop. Vito hits his own legdrop, followed by a top rope elbow (still looks pretty good) for two. Back up and Carl grabs a powerslam but his top rope splash hits knees. A middle rope headbutt gets two more for Vito as they’re moving far better than you would expect here. They chop it out until Vito knees him in the ribs, setting up the inverted DDT for the fast pin.
Rating: C-. Much better than I was expecting here, even though I really didn’t need to see Carl involved in three different matches tonight. Vito isn’t ever going anywhere with his generic Italian character but he does seem to actually be working hard with it. Ouellet on the other hand needs to get out of here already as he’s just not that good.
Post match Reno comes in and Rolls the Dice on Vito, only to have Kidman come out and dropkick a chair into Reno’s face. Palumbo, O’Haire, Jindrak and Sanders run in and eventually lay Kidman out, only to have the Filthy Animals run in for the save. Storm and Skipper come in but are held off, only to have Mike Awesome run out to clear the villains away.
Rick Steiner is being taken away in an ambulance, apparently due to being hit with a pipe by Goldberg. Glad to know we didn’t have time to see that.
Here’s Kevin Nash for his weekly non-match. Hall isn’t here because they were out having a good time last night and he’s not recovered yet. So Scott is just traveling around the world, following WCW wherever they go? That’s rather sad. Nash isn’t going to bother calling out Goldberg tonight because he knows Bill is scared of him. That brings him to Booker, who he’ll take the title from at Fall Brawl. Cue Booker to disagree, even though he respects Nash. They’ll give the people what they want at Fall Brawl but Nash promises not to go after Booker tonight. They shake hands and Nash lays Booker out with the usual to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. This was actually one of the better Thunders in a good while despite the show just being there. Nothing on this show really mattered and they’re just kind of meandering towards Fall Brawl with no real direction. Now that being said, I’ll take a lame show over the horrible Nitros they’ve been airing anytime. Nothing on here was so bad that I didn’t want to keep watching (Madden vs. Okerlund was short and it involved Pamela) and there was very little shooting (angle wise at least) to mess it up. Somehow this passes for better in WCW these days though, which is just sad.
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Monday Nitro – January 4, 1999: It’s Hogan! AGAIN!
Monday Nitro #170
Date: January 4, 1999
Location: Georgia Dome, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 38,809
Commentators: Larry Zbyszko, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay
We had to get here eventually. This is the show that a lot of people people credit with putting WCW down a hole that it was never going to get out of. The main event here is Goldberg vs. Nash II for Nash’s World Title, but the major story coming out of last week is Flair winning control of the company for 90 days by defeating Eric Bischoff. I’m sure that will go perfectly smoothly. Let’s get to it.
We open with dramatic clips from Goldberg vs. Nash at Starrcade.
Nitro Girls in the ring and we get balloons and confetti.
There’s a Nitro Party in a suite.
Hogan is here tonight.
Glacier vs. Hugh Morrus
The announcers go on about the end of last week’s show and explain why Savage would want to hurt Bischoff (Bischoff helped the NWO destroy Savage’s knee in a cage last year). Glacier’s now in a shorter singlet and the look really doesn’t work. Morrus throws him down to start until Glacier cranks on the arm to take over. Hugh grabs a powerslam and both guys are down. Glacier legsweeps him down but gets leveled with a clothesline, setting up No Laughing Matter to give Morrus the pin. Not long enough to rate but a nice return for Morrus after a few months off.
The announcers talk about Flair a bit more.
Opening sequence, finally with some new video.
Arn Anderson, Ric Flair and the Flair Family walk from the parking lot into the arena. A lot of the backstage workers applaud Flair on the way to the ring. They finally make it to the ring with Benoit, Mongo and Malenko joining Anderson and the Flairs. Ric talks about Eric Bischoff ruining this company but it still being the greatest wrestling company in the world. The people have been asking what Flair is going to do to Bischoff on his first night. Flair tells Eric to get out here right now to talk to the boss.
An angry Bischoff gets in the ring and Flair says the shoes are on different feet tonight. Flair talks about Eric insulting him over the years on commentary and running down Ric’s career. The easy thing would be for Flair to just fire Bischoff, but that wouldn’t be fun. Instead, Bischoff is going to be working under Tony Schiavone and doing commentary. Also since Bischoff won’t be visible on commentary, his pay is cut in half. Next up for Flair is referee Randy Anderson. Randy, stricken with cancer, was fired by Bischoff about two years ago. Flair calls him to the ring and offers him his job back at double the salary.
With Flair still in the ring, Tony walks Bischoff through the segment list. Bischoff’s disgusted reply is amusing. This leaves Flair with his first match to make. He’ll start with Souled Out, where he’s booking himself into a handicap match with Barry Windham and Curt Hennig. David Flair steps up and asks to be his father’s partner in the match. Ric says David isn’t ready but Arn says David knows what he’s doing.
Booker T. vs. Emery Hale
The needling continues with Tony telling Eric to jump in at any time. Hale jumps Booker to start and stomps away in the corner, only to charge into a spinebuster. The side kick sets up the missile dropkick and Hale is done in less than 90 seconds. Eric still hasn’t talked other than one sentence.
Nitro Girls.
Bischoff is looking away with his feet on the desk. Tony: “Don’t make me file a report with Mr. Flair.
Norman Smiley vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.
Chavo fires off chops to start and dropkicks Norman out to the floor. Eric still won’t talk. Back in and Norman runs Chavo over but stops to glare at Pepe. A World’s Strongest Slam gets two on Guerrero but he comes back with a few rollups for two each. The Big Wiggle allows Chavo to dropkick him down and now Chavo dances some as well. Chavo botches a springboard and then slightly botches a rollup for two. Back up and Guerrero grabs a sunset flip for the pin.
Rating: D+. The match was just there for background noise as Chavo is still doing the same stuff he’s done for months now. Smiley is still over but I’m not sure why you would have him lose a match like this. I mean, this man was on Starrcade! Nothing to see here but it’s the first hour of Nitro so what do you expect?
Norman beats up Chavo and breaks Pepe’s head off to turn into a serious heel rather than a goofy one.
Chris Benoit vs. Horace Hogan
Benoit gets a jobber’s entrance. Horace gets beaten down in the corner but comes back with a running clothesline. Another clothesline misses and Benoit rolls some Germans as Tony threatens to demote Eric to the international broadcasts. Horace throws Benoit out to the floor and drives him into the barricade in a nice crash.
Back in and a clothesline gets two for Horace before Tony rubs it in that Randy Anderson is referee. Horace goes up but gets superplexed down. The Swan Dive connects but Benoit is holding his head instead of covering. Horace gets two off a shoulder breaker but his suplex is countered into the Crossface to give Benoit the win.
Rating: C-. Not the worst match in the world and it’s nice to see Benoit survive until the end. Horace wasn’t terrible as a big guy for roles like this and the match worked well enough. That Swan Dive continues to make me cringe though as Benoit’s head just smacked off Horace.
And now it begins. Goldberg is arrested for charges that aren’t explained yet. He goes on a rant about all the good things he does for this community. Goldberg talks more here than he has in his entire time in the company. No charge is ever mentioned but he eventually goes “downtown.”
After a break, Goldberg is taken to a police car. Nash says this can’t happen because they have a match tonight. Hogan shows up and laughs, saying he’s an honest man and calling Goldberg guilty. He’ll appreciate Nash’s vote too. As he walks by, Liz is seen talking to cops.
Perry Saturn vs. Chris Jericho
Feeling out process to start with Saturn slapping Jericho in the face. Referee Scott Dickinson, who has been having issues with Saturn lately, yells at Saturn about throwing a punch. They trade wristlocks with Saturn getting the better of it before heading to the corner. A release overhead belly to belly sends Jericho flying and Saturn fires off kicks in the corner.
Saturn goes to the apron and Jericho nails the springboard dropkick to send him out to the floor. Chris does the long strides but there’s nowhere near as much energy to it. We take a break and come back with Jericho nailing a belly to back suplex followed by its vertical cousin for an arrogant two. Satur’s Death Valley Driver doesn’t work but a t-bone suplex gets two on Jericho. The referee gets hit in the jaw by mistake before Jericho pulls him in the way of a diving Saturn. A low blow and the Lionsault sets up the Liontamer but Dickinson calls for the bell before Jericho turns him over. Jericho wins.
Rating: C-. This corrupt referee nonsense is getting annoying in a hurry, just like Saturn getting beaten all the time. Jericho knew he was leaving at this point and it was clear that he didn’t have the same energy. He’s still doing his old standards but a lot of them are really lackluster.
We go to the police precinct, which Tony points out “is across the street at the CNN Center.” Remember that as it becomes important later. They’ll be in room three as the cameras are already waiting for them. Apparently Goldberg is being charged with aggravated stalking by Elizabeth Lebetski, more commonly known as Miss Elizabeth. Goldberg knows the cop and tells him to do his job because the cop knows this is bogus. I believe the charges were originally going to be rape but Goldberg refused to do it.
Nitro Girls. Larry gets in a good line about how these are real women, as opposed to Liz who has tried to be a Miss five times now.
Back to the Nitro Party where we’ve got thumb wrestling. Like as a featured event. A JAIL BREAK chant starts up.
We go back to the station where Liz is being interviewed. She says Goldberg last confronted her at the water cooler. Liz says she’s filed three reports already because Goldberg has been at every show she’s been at, at the hotels and at the gym. Again, this is more talking than she’s ever done in WCW. The detective goes off to talk with his partner.
Here’s a long segment of an LWO party with low riders, a lot of women and Eddie running things. They head inside for dancing to mariachi dancing and Eddie says he’s on top of the Latino world. Now there’s a card game with Eddie trading cards with other LWO members to win. Eddie says they’re united together and that’s about it. This ran nearly four minutes.
Kidman/Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Psychosis/Juventud Guerrera
Tornado match. Well in name only as they start with tags. Psychosis nails an early backbreaker on Kidman before it’s off to Juvy who gets dropkicked a few times. Off to Rey for a nice top rope hurricanrana before he throws Juvy at Kidman for the sitout powerbomb. Rey pulls Juvy out to the floor but Psychosis gets in a shot of his own, setting up a slingshot legdrop to the floor to crush Rey.
Back in and Psychosis nails a top rope ax handle as Heenan asks Bischoff if he remembers calling the early shows with Mongo. Tony promises to deliver the World Title match they advertised. Juvy hits a backbreaker of his own on Mysterio before it’s back to Psychosis who gets dropkicked out of the air.
Everything breaks down which Tony says is perfectly legal. Kidman and Mysterio clothesline the LWO outside for big planchas off the top. Back in and a springboard Doomsday Device of all things gets two on Psychosis but Juvy comes back with the Driver for two on Mysterio. Everything breaks down again and Kidman’s missile dropkick accidentally hits Rey, allowing Psychosis to hit the guillotine legdrop for the pin on the masked man.
Rating: C+. This was the fun you expect from these kind of matches, but the tornado stuff was some combination of unnecessary and confusing. The referee and wrestlers didn’t seem to know it was under tornado rules but Tony kept insisting it was. It’s interesting to see some drama between Rey and Kidman as a match between the two could be awesome.
Goldberg has an explanation for why he’s always at the same places Elizabeth: they work for the same company and she’s a member of the gym he owns. The fact that they work together comes as a surprise to the detective.
Here’s Nash to address the Goldberg situation. He doesn’t think he beat Goldberg at Starrcade because Goldberg got screwed that night. Nash doesn’t buy the stories Liz is telling and thinks Hogan is behind it. Therefore, Nash wants Hogan tonight as a warmup for later tonight when he fights Goldberg. Flair comes out and says if Goldberg can’t make the match, Hogan can take his place.
Video on Goldberg vs. Nash.
Liz tells the original detective’s partner the story but the details are different (Coke machine instead of water cooler). The original detective comes back in. Goldberg calls her all the time but hangs up before anything is said. The detectives don’t ask how she knows it’s him and Liz rants about being the victim.
Here’s Hogan in a black suit with something to say. Hogan says the wrestling world still revolves around him but he came here to announce his retirement. He’s also going to announce his running mate but seeing Goldberg made him sick. Hogan thinks he owes the fans a retirement match so he’ll give them one tonight. Gene says the match would be a title match so Hogan agrees.
Schiavone: “Fans, if you’re even thinking about changing the channel to our competition, fans do not. We understand that Mick Foley, who wrestled here one time as Cactus Jack, is going to win their World Title.”
I get the idea WCW was going for with this line and the idea makes sense to a degree, but when you think about it there’s much more potential for harm than good. On the other hand, giving away results worked for WCW in the past so it’s logical to do it again, even in very different circumstances. The idea of one show being taped as opposed to live doesn’t make much of a difference to me though. A show being live or taped doesn’t matter if the show is still horrible.
We get a clip of Jericho praising Scott Dickinson earlier in the day and saying a wrestler should never touch a referee. Jericho says Saturn should get disqualified if he ever touches Dickinson again. Was this really necessary?
TV Title: Scott Steiner vs. Konnan
Both name graphics say Television Champion even though Scott is defending. Before the match, Buff dances a bit and fakes a heart attack to mock Flair. Konnan starts fast but gets taken down by a single forearm to the back. Some right hands in the corner and a clothesline put Steiner down and the fight heads to the floor. Tony repeats the Cactus Jack line and actually says HA HA at the thought of Foley winning the title.
Buff gets in some cheap shots on the floor before Scott stomps on Konnan’s head back inside. The announcers spend about half the match talking about how Bischoff isn’t going to say anything and about the Goldberg issues. Konnan comes back with a tornado DDT (looked more like he was trying a small package) before missing the rolling lariat and botching the X-Factor. Bagwell comes in for the DQ before the Sunrise can go on.
Rating: F. They botched a bunch of spots, I had to listen to unfunny jabs at Bischoff, and the HA HA line. Terrible match with commentary making it even worse.
Post match Konnan gets beaten down with a chair.
The announcers talk about the Goldberg situation. Tony again mentions that the precinct is across the street. Eric: “Goldberg is jail bait.”
Wrath comes out and actually grabs a mic. He’s been destroying people for six months and wants anyone in the back to come out here and take a beating.
Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Wrath
They stare each other down to start with Wrath’s shots only having a limited effect. A running clothesline puts Bigelow down but he low bridges Wrath to the floor. They head back inside with Bigelow nailing some elbows to the back of the head. Outside again with Wrath taking over with knees to the ribs. Bigelow sends him into the barricade and back into the ring before grabbing a chair. The referee moves the chair and the distraction lets Wrath nail a backdrop. They head outside for the third time and the referee goes down, causing him to throw the match out.
Rating: D+. Take two guys and let them beat each other up for awhile. It was barely a match and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s nice to see Wrath get to hang with someone of Bigelow’s caliber, even though this is a demotion for Bigelow. At least they dropped the idea of him not being on the roster.
They brawl to the back.
Back and the precinct, the detectives start poking holes in Liz’s story as she can’t remember details. The fact that she can’t remember the difference between water and Coke (or Pepsi, which she said she got out of a Coke machine), says a lot about Liz’s abilities. She keeps looking at her watch as she gets the color of Goldberg’s tights wrong. They threaten to charge her with perjury and Liz realizes she had the wrong wrestler.
Tony is aghast at these developments.
We’ve got roughly forty minutes left in the broadcast for Goldberg to get back to the arena.
Nitro Girls.
Bischoff waves to the camera as the announcers talk about the World Title match later tonight. Bobby says Goldberg will come to the arena without his clothes if need be.
Brian Adams vs. Diamond Dallas Page
Anderson calls for the bell, starts counting Adams on the floor, then calls for the bell again to start the match. Adams hides in the corner to start but Page hammers away with rights and lefts. Brian bails to the floor so Page dives over the top rope to take out both Adams and Vincent. There’s barely any selling though as Adams stomps away back inside to take over.
We come back from a break with Page fighting out of a chinlock as Tony brags about it being live again. A swinging neckbreaker puts Adams down but Brian nails a low blow in the corner to stop Page cold. We hit a bearhug and Eric says “by golly” for no apparent reason. Adams gets two off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker but Page grabs his running DDT to put both guys down. Page nails a quick clothesline and goes to the middle rope for a jumping Diamond Cutter and the pin.
Rating: C. The ending looked good but could have looked great had they stuck the landing (Page partially landed on his legs instead of his back but it was fine). Adams is good int his role as he has a few good powre moves and seems like a moderately difficult dragon for a hero to slay.
Goldberg is released from custody as we go to a break. We’ve got roughly twenty minutes left in the show and he made it from the arena to the station in less than ten minutes by car earlier.
WCW World Title: Kevin Nash vs. Hollywood Hogan
Nash is defending of course. Hogan is in street clothes and has Scott Steiner with him. Nash counters with Scott Hall, whose actions at Starrcade are apparently forgiven. The bell rings, Nash rips his shirt off, Hogan circles him for a bit, Nash says bring it and shoves Hogan into the corner, and the finger to the chest gives Hogan the title at 1:40.
Goldberg arrives less than 30 seconds later as Bischoff is already gloating. That’s not terrible as far as him getting back to the arena in a reasonable time. Goldberg hits the ring and kicks down everyone not named Hogan. Some of the weakest belt shots ever have Goldberg on one knee but he’s right back up to spear (almost zero impact) Hogan down. Luger comes out to break up the Jackhammer and the huge beatdown is on. Goldberg gets put in the Rack before being cuffed to the ropes.
Hall busts out the shock stick to jab into Goldberg’s side (with Bischoff providing sound effects). Goldberg gets the red spray paint treatment on his back and black on his head. Hogan spray paints a red NWO on the belt to close the show. Tony in a defeated voice: “They’re back together. Again.”
Overall Rating: D+. That’s omitting the big angle. This show just wasn’t very good for the most part with the usual array of boring Nitro matches that either meant anything or were nothing we hadn’t seen before. As usual the cruiserweight match was good but with Eddie being gone, it really doesn’t mean anything. This was far more boring than bad.
Then there’s the moment that people still talk about over fifteen years later. The idea of having Goldberg have to run through a bunch of opponents to get the title back is a good idea. Unfortunately, that’s about the extent of the good to this story. Let’s look at this one item at a time.
1. Why did Nash do this? He won the title fairly (remember that Starrcade was No DQ) and had the belt free and clear. Out of loyalty to Hogan? A man who as far as we knew, he had split with about nine months ago? We’ll come back to this later, but for now it brings us to the first major issue with this.
2. The title looks worthless. Nash had it all to himself and then he literally handed it over to Hogan, basically saying “I don’t want this. Here you take it.” If a big star like Nash says it’s worthless, why would I want to see anyone else fight for it in the future? How do I know that they won’t just hand it off to someone they think deserves it more?
3. Back to the first point, we could assume either it’s a massive swerve and that there never was a real split or the problems between the NWO camps were hashed out somewhere in between. Either way, it makes pretty much everything since May look completely pointless. The NWO factions going to war? All patched up. The bickering and people jumping from team to team? Doesn’t matter. Nash talking about how the Red and Black is forever and the Black and White was just for life? Nothing more than another catchphrase. Now everything is back where it was when Savage took the title from Sting and then lost it to Hogan the next night. That brings us to possibly the biggest problem of this whole thing.
4. IT’S HOGAN AGAIN. At the end of the day, Hogan is standing tall as champion with his army around him and it’s likely going to be months before anyone can challenge him. Yeah we’ve got Flair and Goldberg on WCW’s side and one faction is done, but we’re basically back to some point in 1997 instead of going forward.
5. While it’s not directly related to the story, the Foley match getting free advertising makes things even worse. If this is just a normal week in the Monday Night Wars, you could have watched one or the other. If you see the Foley title win, it’s an emotional moment with a new star being made and probably the loudest moment ever in wrestling. On the other hand, you have WCW doing the same stuff they’ve done for years with the same people on top and the same story being set up that we spent all of the better part of two years going through. If you don’t have that comparison to make, what happens on Nitro is nowhere near as bad.
Overall, it just wasn’t a well thought out move. There’s a nice idea at the end, but the rest of the story just does not work. Hogan just wasn’t what people wanted to see again and when you combine this with Bischoff beating Flair eight days ago, it was clear that the company wasn’t interested in listening to what the people were wanting. The time for the NWO being on top had passed, but WCW decided to go back to the well again. I understand that it worked once, but it wasn’t working this time.
To answer a question that is often asked, no, this wasn’t what killed WCW. It was a moment that hurt them, but overall the company had a lot more moments to come that would hurt and ultimately kill them. An important thing to keep in mind was that Nitro had won a night in the ratings wars less than three months ago. The WWF had been in far worse shape than this at times and it was hard to tell how much more steam Austin vs. McMahon had at this point. It didn’t turn out well for WCW, but they still had a lot more chances to make a comeback in the future.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Thunder – August 2, 2000: If I Can Have Some Serious Wrestling For A Minute
Thunder Date: August 2, 2000
Location: Hulman Center, Terre Haute, Indiana
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Stevie Ray, Mike Tenay
New Blood Rising is almost here and these shows just get worse and worse. Monday was another show where it felt like WCW was mad at us for watching them and were trying to get rid of as many remaining fans as they could. I don’t want to imagine how bad Thunder could get. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Lance Storm to open things up. Just like he did with the other titles, he’s renaming the Cruiserweight Title to the Canadian 100 Kilograms and Under Championship. That brings out the Cat to say that Storm is defending a title tonight. Storm: “Which one Cat? I’ve got a bunch of them.” Cat thinks the fans want to see title matches so tonight Storm is defending the Cruiserweight Title against Juventud Guerrera, the Hardcore Title against Norman Smiley and the US Title against the Cat himself. It’s time for the first title defense because why not have it now when you could build it up for later?
Cruiserweight Title: Lance Storm vs. Juventud Guerrera
Storm is defending and Cat dances to the Filthy Animals’ music before leaving. We’re still not ready to go though because Storm has a rule booklet saying that this has to be under Scientific Rules. Therefore, the rest of the Animals have to head to the back. On a side note, shouldn’t this be Chavo getting his rematch instead of Juvy? Storm jumps Juvy to start but gets caught in a bad looking hurricanrana to send him outside. A big flip dive over the top takes Storm down again but he avoids a high cross body back inside.
Not that it matters as Juvy drops him again and gets two off a falling springboard splash. He loads Storm up on top for a hurricanrana, which Stevie describes as “setting up a move here.” Storm stops a charge with a boot in the corner, only to walk into a bulldog for no cover. Instead it’s something like White Noise for two on Storm but he quickly counters a hurricanrana into the Maple Leaf to retain.
Rating: B-. Storm really can do no wrong at this point but I haven’t seen Juvy going this hard in a long time. This was a really fun fast paced match with some good looking high flying and a solid ending as Storm continues to be the best thing going in WCW at this point. How he avoided being screwed up for so long is beyond me but he pulled it off.
The announcers show us a clip from after Nitro with Kronik running in to save Booker and Sting. As in the Sting WHO WAS LIT ON FIRE and seems to be fine.
General Rection yells at MIA as he always does.
Booker arrives and Tony is shocked to see him limping.
Smooth the limo decides Skip Over needs a better name.
Here are Miss Hancock and David Flair with something to say. Hancock asks if she’s the kind of woman who would roll around in mud for a dollar. She thinks the mud might make Major Gunns look better, so here are the Misfits to interrupt.
David Flair vs. Sgt. A-Wall
Wall starts fast with a powerslam and some stomps. David tries chops and stops to strut with the expected result of being launched out to the floor. A chair doesn’t make things any better as Wall punches it into David’s face. Back in and a chokeslam through the table ends David quick.
The Nitro Girls are here (because of course they are) when an unnamed man (soon to be named Reno) comes in to yell at Siren. She says she was with the girls on Monday but here’s Shane Douglas to tell him where she really was. We can’t hear what he says but Reno isn’t happy. See, if you insist on using the Nitro Girls in stories, this is the better way: have them as plot devices to advance stories instead of having them be the story.
Skip Over gives Terry Taylor a piece of paper and Terry says he’ll make it happen.
Jeff Jarrett wants to talk to Vampiro about their elimination tag tonight but Vampiro isn’t all that interested.
Tank Abbott has written a new song for 3 Count. Freaking sweat!
Kidman vs. Elix Skipper
Apparently the paper was the new name, which also includes the moniker “Prime Time Player.” Kidman isn’t a fan and baseball slides him out to the floor. Back in and Kidman sends him into the turnbuckle but Skipper debuts the Matrix move to avoid a cross body. A headscissors puts Kidman down, only to have him come back with a dropkick to the face. Cue Shane and Torrie as Kidman grabs the BK Bomb, only to have Reno come in and lay him out with a rolling cutter (Cross Rhodes). Skipper adds the Rocker Dropper for the academic pin.
Cat promises Mike Awesome a title shot at New Blood Rising if he wins the title tonight. Point for tying up a potential loose end at least.
Shane is in the back again and calls Judy Bagwell a redneck. Bagwell attacks and they’re pulled apart.
Sean O’Haire vs. Shawn Stasiak
Chuck Palumbo sits in on commentary and we look at him as the match starts in the ring. We finally start watching as O’Haire nails a superkick, only to miss a charge in the corner. That means it’s time for generic heel offense a go-go from Stasiak as he chokes and elbows while Stevie talks about ballet for some reason. Stasiak’s Death Valley Driver is countered into a DDT but his comeback is cut short as he’s sent out to the floor.
Palumbo loads up the exercise bar but Stevie pulls him back into his seat. Stasiak gets two off a PerfectPlex (northern lights suplex according to Tony because he’s too distracted arguing with Tenay over Stevie’s level of coolness) as Jindrak and Palumbo fight at ringside. O’Haire pops back up with a spinwheel kick and the Seanton Bomb for the pin.
Rating: D+. O’Haire has talent but he’s certainly still best as part of a team at this point. Stasiak on the other hand would be better off as a driver’s education teacher somewhere in Oklahoma. The guy simply does not have it in the ring and it’s getting more and more annoying to watch him every time he gets in the ring.
Gene Okerlund is in a neck brace while talking to the Bagwells. Buff wants Shane tonight and makes jokes about his performance issues from last week. Judy swears a lot because it’s funny.
Hardcore Title: Lance Storm vs. Norman Smiley
Storm is defending and Big Vito comes out for commentary. The Canadian flag comes down again but the music stops halfway through, allowing Norman to come out with the American flag. We’re not ready yet though as the Canadian rulebook says the title has to be defended with no weapons and the match can only end via submission. Storm isn’t pleased with his dancing challenger so they trade wristlocks instead. A pinfall reversal sequence doesn’t go anywhere so Norman elbows him in the face.
Norman stops to dance though, allowing Lance to come back with a nice dropkick. Vito sounds annoyed that Norman is wrestling in a shirt but Smiley’s splash hits knees. The swinging slam sets up the Big Wiggle but the referee gets bumped, allowing Storm to hit Smiley with the American flag. The Maple Leaf retains Storm’s title.
Rating: C-. See, this is a story that makes sense and is being played out logically. Storm is a guy capable of winning any single match on his own but he needs to cheat when he has so much to do. That’s a logical, well written character and it makes for a good story. As I said before, Storm is one of the best things going today and the simple storytelling is a big reason why.
Vito comes in to break up the hold.
Torrie threatens to sue Judy if she gets in her face tonight.
Shane Douglas vs. Buff Bagwell
Bagwell starts fast by hammering away in the corner and grabbing a swinging neckbreaker. A Vader bomb gets two on Shane so Torrie trips Buff, allowing Shane to get in an atomic drop. Shane snaps (work with me here) off Three Amigos and a powerslam, followed by the Pittsburgh Plunge for two. Torrie throws in a chair so here’s Judy to start a catfight. Kidman runs in and dropkicks the chair into Shane’s face, setting up the Blockbuster to give Buff the pin.
Rating: D. These two just do not have very good chemistry together, though there’s far worse out there. The Kidman and Torrie stuff helps but Shane really isn’t the most interesting guy in the world. It doesn’t help that Buff is almost even less interesting and it’s probably about time to turn him heel again because he’s been a face long enough now.
Post match Torrie goes after Judy again but here’s Kanyon to help beat down Mama Bagwell. Buff makes the save but walks into a Kanyon Cutter onto the chair. Mike Awesome makes the real save.
After a break, Buff gets off the stretcher and says he wants to fight Kanyon tonight. Awesome says he’ll do it himself. Apparently Mike thinks Judy is good looking.
Sting tells Booker that he doesn’t have to fight on that bad leg but Booker wants to take out that sucka.
The Vince Russo interview will not air tonight because “WCW management” won’t allow it. One of the few things they actually build up and then oh forget about it because we’ve changed our mind.
Mike Awesome vs. Positively Kanyon
Awesome has one of his women with him. More interestingly though, Tony says that tickets are going on sale for Nitro on August 28 two days from now. They’re only starting to sell tickets 24 days in advance? Tickets sold for that event: about 4,600 out of about 13,000 seats. I’m sure there’s no connection there. Before the match, Mike reiterates that Judy is good looking.
Kanyon actually charges in so Awesome runs him over with a clothesline. Commentary goes silent for a bit and comes back talking about the three way at New Blood Rising. Stevie actually brings it back to focus as Kanyon hits Awesome low to slam him out of the corner. A sitout spinebuster gets two for Kanyon and a neckbreaker out of the Tree of Woe (not a Kanyon Cutter Tony) gets two more.
Kanyon lays out the referee for no apparent reason and gives a photographer (As in a guy holding a camera and taking pictures. Stevie: “Is that a photographer?”) a Kanyon Cutter. Some more production guys get the same but here’s Judy with a loaded purse to knock Kanyon silly, setting up the Awesome Bomb to give Mike the pin.
Rating: D+. Not the worst match here but Awesome’s gimmick is killing him. Kanyon’s cutters all over the place continue to be entertaining but they need to have Page come back and Diamond Cut him in half at some point. Given that this is WCW, I’d bet on them joining forces because Page respects him now or something.
US Title: Lance Storm vs. The Cat
Storm is defending one more time. Cat interrupts the national anthem one more time and kicks Storm in the face. Back in and they slug it out with Cat taking over before taking Storm down with a low blow. That’s rather lame of him. Storm’s sunset flip is broken up by dancing, a crotch chop, and a shot to the face. You can’t say Cat is just going through the motions out there.
They head outside with Storm superkicking him to take over, followed by the springboard missile dropkick (looks great as always) back inside. Cat comes back with a Feliner to knock Storm into the referee, allowing Great Muta to run in and give Cat one of the best looking dragon screw legwhips I’ve ever seen. The Maple Leaf gives Storm the easy submission.
Rating: C-. It was clear that Cat hadn’t wrestled that often and that he really shouldn’t be very often these days. He wasn’t going to be able to last much longer and that really shouldn’t be the case just four minutes into a match. Storm wrestled three matches tonight and was in better condition than Cat who wrestled once. That really shouldn’t happen but Cat didn’t wrestle much at this point so it’s a bit more understandable.
The good guys in the main event promise to win because the other four guys are player haters.
WAY too long video on Gunns vs. Hancock.
Vampiro tells Demon he’s on his own at New Blood Rising and that he wants nothing to do with Jarrett after tonight.
Jarrett calls Gene a broke neck slapnut.
Booker T./Sting/Kronik vs. Great Muta/Vampiro/Demon/Jeff Jarrett
Elimination tag. Booker is limping badly on the way to the ring. It’s a brawl to start with the good guys cleaning house and Booker’s knee being strong enough for a side kick to the face. Muta sneaks in and goes after Booker as we hear about Sting being on Vampiro with a chair. Of course we can’t see that but we do get to see Adams cleaning house inside.
High Times eliminates Muta in just over a minute. Again: why did he bother to come back? Cue Cat to go after Muta as the referee breaks up High Times to Jarrett through the table. That’s fine with Kronik as they chokeslam the referee instead, earning themselves a double elimination. Sting gets triple teamed by Jarrett, Demon and Vampiro as the match actually settles down.
Jarrett lures Booker in so they can…..not cheat in the slightest. It’s off to Vampiro to stay on Sting until a double clothesline puts both of them down. Booker comes in to pound on everyone, including an ax kick to Demon. Jarrett bails and gets counted out, followed by double finishers to give Sting and Booker the double pin to wrap it up.
Rating: D-. Leave it to WCW to give us a six minute Survivor Series match with one person walking out, two people getting disqualified and three pins. As usual, the match went by so fast that it didn’t have time to mean anything and the action that we got was mainly chaos with a quick wrestling portion at the end. Of course they couldn’t cut ANYTHING else out to give this more time either.
Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t their worst show ever and amazingly enough it was a show centered around a wrestler wrestling. It also helps that the Russo interview didn’t air, which was false advertising but probably a lot better than whatever nonsense Russo would have gone on about in his talk. The less said about the upcoming triple threat the better and it made for a much easier show this week. Not good mind you, but easier.
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Monday Nitro – July 24, 2000 (2015 Redo): The Rube Goldberg Machine of Wrestling
Monday Nitro #250 Date: July 24, 2000
Location: CSU Convocation Center, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson, Mark Madden
The shows have been a lot better lately but you know the bad has to be coming at some point. In this case the big story has been Scott Steiner going insane, along with the return of Kevin Nash. New Blood Rising is coming soon enough and I’m sure you’ve all heard of the reputation that show has attained. Let’s get to it.
No recap from last week this time as it’s Lance Storm kicking things off. We get O Canada with the Canadian flag being lowered above the ring. Storm gets in a few jabs at America for being weak and promises to defeat Mike Awesome again at New Blood Rising. He needs to be at his best for that match so let’s have a warmup right now. This brings out Hardcore Champion Big Vito, who I guess is now a face. Vito wants a fight but Storm wants to make it title vs. title. Terms accepted and Storm hits him before the bell.
US Title/Hardcore Title: Lance Storm vs. Big Vito
Storm takes over to start but Vito grabs a Japanese armdrag and clotheslines Lance down. We get the cone between Storm’s legs and it’s already table time. Vito takes too long though and gets superplexed for two as Madden continues to cheer for Storm. A quick arm trap suplex (and a good looking one too) sends Storm flying and Vito’s top rope elbow gets two. The implant DDT (not jumping Tony) gets a delayed two, which is even more impressive when you consider Vito just grabbed the leg and wasn’t over Storm’s chest. They trade superkicks but Storm grabs the Maple Leaf for the submission and both titles.
Rating: C. Not a bad match here as Vito is totally fine when you have someone there to walk him through everything. Storm being a double champion is interesting and it’s a good sign to see someone showing up and getting pushed to some early gold. Also, how nice is it to start with a match instead of a bunch of talking?
Here’s Booker T. with something to say. He thanks the fans for having his back because without them, he wouldn’t be the World Champion. Booker is tired of hearing about Jeff Jarrett running around in the back talking about how he should be the champ, so at New Blood Rising, he’s taking Jarrett to school. Don’t hate the player, hate the game. I still don’t really get how that applies to most of his promos.
Instead of Jarrett, here’s Goldberg to a big face pop because it was really stupid to turn him heel. Last week Booker put his hands on him (it was his foot actually) so tonight, Booker is next. Booker says it’s on so here’s the Cat. It’s not so simple as just handing the title shot to Goldberg, because we’re going to put the vote up to the fans, who can go to WCW.com and vote for Goldberg or Sting. Goldberg lays out the Cat but Booker makes the save, drawing out security. In case you didn’t know who WCW wanted in the title match of course. Cat promises that he owes Goldberg some payback now.
We go to the commentary table, where Mark Madden is billed as “TV’s Best Looking Man.” Kidman is here for some reason and he’s one of TEN options to face Booker for the title tonight. Here are the options:
Goldberg
Sting
Billy Kidman
Lance Storm
Mike Awesome
Positively Kanyon
Buff Bagwell
Shane Douglas
Stevie Ray
Vampiro
Miss Hancock/David Flair vs. Lieutenant Loco/Major Gunns
Kidman is on commentary for no apparent reason and has a birthday present for Torrie Wilson: a sex tape of the two of them together. Why he’s here during this match isn’t clear but he promises to play the tape later tonight. The guys start as the announcers change the rules of the ROTC match by making it a Boot Camp match in the mud. I don’t even want to know how that is supposed to work. Hancock slides in a chair so Gunns chases her around the ring as Loco stomps Flair down in the corner. Everything breaks down and Hancock cross bodies David by mistake. A lot of yelling allows Gunns to roll her up for the pin.
Gunns loads up mouth to mouth on Loco but David pulls her away so Hancock can rip off Gunns’ top. Loco gets up to make the save.
Jarrett comes in to Cat’s office and demands that he get his title shot tonight. Cat tells him to get out so Jeff knocks stuff off the desk. Jeff gets a title shot but against Kronik.
Sting, still under a mask, says it’s really him (and it certainly sounds like him). He doesn’t care what the booking committee says because the mask is coming off tonight. Dang it Sting you’re better than that.
Goldberg is sure the fans will pick him but if not, their pick is leaving in a body bag.
Brian Adams is ready to go to the ring but a thud is heard and Brian Clark is found with a guitar broken over his head.
Tag Team Titles: Jeff Jarrett vs. Kronik
Jarrett is challenging and is out here very quickly if he was the one to hit Clark. In other words, this is a singles match for the Tag Team Titles, at least to start. Tony: “We’re going to see action.” Madden: “No. We’re going to see Torrie Wilson DOING IT DOING IT DOING IT!” Jarrett goes right after him to start but Adams punches him down with ease. A very fast piledriver gets two on Jeff but they’re quickly to the floor where Adams is sent into the steps.
Back in and Jeff keeps control by poking an eye (I miss that so much) and gets two off a faceplant. The full nelson slam plants Jeff but Adams opts for a big boot and legdrop (Madden: “That move never wins!”) for two instead. Adams goes after the referee for no apparent reason, allowing Jarrett to poke him in the throat with the guitar.
That’s only good for two though and Adams gets the same off a gorilla press into a gutbuster. Cue Clark with a broken guitar to lay out Jarrett, followed by the Meltdown. Clark isn’t done though as he wants High Times through the table. The referee says no so he takes it instead, drawing the no contest/DQ, whichever it is when the referee is out cold.
Rating: D. Yeah imagine that: Jeff Jarrett vs. Crush isn’t the best match in the world. I thought they were going somewhere with the mystery attacker on Jarrett unless they’re going to pull something else later tonight. I’m not sure what the point was in having Jarrett get back out there so quickly but the match didn’t work. Thankfully they didn’t change the titles though.
Vampiro surprises Cat in his office and wants to take out Great Muta. They’ll do it together because Cat is a ninja.
Torrie admits that the tape is real.
We get an update on the poll: Sting has 35%, Goldberg has 30% and Vampiro is the only other person in double figures with 10%.
Vampiro vs. Great Muta
Cat is referee after Muta sprayed mist in his eyes on Thunder. Vampiro kicks the Cat down so Cat beats up the Insane Clown Posse. Muta kicks Cat and we’ve got a heel stable. Demon runs out and helps in the beating. The Cat fights up and beats up the Clowns because no one can look bad in this company.
Booker promises he’ll retain.
WCW World Title: Booker T. vs. ???
The challenger is…….Sting. Well in theory at least as Goldberg jumps Sting in the aisle and gives him the Bret Killer kick. Sting is stretchered out and Goldberg says he wants the shot. Booker is in and gets taken down by an early clothesline and World’s Strongest Slam. The champ bails outside and gets kicked in the face again, followed by a ram into the steps to bust him open. A cross armbreaker sends Booker bailing to the ropes but here’s Stevie Ray to throw in the towel. Goldberg throws it out before the referee sees it so Cat comes out and says Goldberg gets the win. The title doesn’t change though since Goldberg didn’t beat him.
So Goldberg just destroyed Sting in ten seconds and squashed the World Champion in three minutes. No he didn’t give up or get pinned, but this was totally one sided with Goldberg not giving up a thing. Booker is still champion because he didn’t give up, but he looks like the biggest lame duck in history. Well done WCW. It only took that much to get GOLDBERG over again. Oh and well done again on dangling a carrot in front of the fans with the poll and then saying HA! We still get what we want! Why do the poll then?
Post break Booker tells Cat to restart the match or he’s out of the company. Cat actually agrees.
Buff Bagwell vs. Positively Kanyon
Buff has his mom with him AGAIN. Why do you think this is a good idea? Even Mark Madden (now saying “sex tape” in almost every sentence) thinks it’s stupid to keep doing this. No Kanyon for some reason so Judy swears about wanting him to come out here. Buff declares himself the winner but the cameraman jumps him, revealing himself as Kanyon in a good looking wig. No match, again.
Buff fights him off at first but walks into a Kanyon Cutter. Kanyon chases Judy to the back (she’s not as fast as you would think) and throws her in the back of a car before driving away.
Post break, Bagwell gives chase.
Kidman brags about the tape again.
Shane Douglas vs. Mike Awesome
Before the match, Shane says he and Torrie (Looking great again this week. Like better than she usually does.) are used to the finer things in life so they’re getting out of this town as fast as possible. Mike brings three of his women with him to even things out. I’m not sure how the math works on that but most of WCW doesn’t work at this point. Mike clotheslines him a few times to start and goes to the top for a springboard shoulder out to the floor. Madden: “Break out the Oreos girls! Mike wants to party down!”
Torrie rakes the eyes to give Shane a breather and we hit the neck crank because Shane is already out of offense I guess. It doesn’t last long Awesome fights back and hits the splash (not the Awesome splash but just a splash from Awesome) for two. Now he loads up the Awesome splash (which is also a splash from Awesome) but Torrie grabs the leg, allowing Shane to get in some chain shots to the ribs. He loads up something off the top but it’s time for the sex tape on the big screen. In the distraction, Awesome hits him with a weight (where did he get that?) for the pin.
Rating: D-. Weights, Oreos, Mike’s gimmick and a sex tape. How did we get from Shane Douglas to Mike Awesome to all those things in a single match? This would be another good example of the entertainment (allegedly) overtaking the wrestling (which wasn’t the best in the first place) and neither working.
Kidman comes out with a pair of Torrie’s underwear.
Shane attacks a production guy over the tape.
Here’s Kidman again (third time tonight) to say he made copies of the tape. We cut to the back where various people are watching. The Jung Dragons are having a really good time. Hudson: “I guarantee you they’re not watching Starrcade.” We cut to the truck where Shane promises to kill Kidman when he gets his hands on him. As in the Kidman currently in the ring. Speaking of Kidman, he throws the underwear to the crowd.
And now, Caged Heat is lowered. The build for this earlier in the night: Tony mentioning the cage was above the ring.
Mark Jindrak/Sean O’Haire vs. Filthy Animals vs. Perfect Event vs. Corporal Cajun/General Rection
Remember that this is inside Caged Heat (Hell in a Cell). The idea here is you have to escape the cage but it’s under elimination (I guess?) rules and the last team left in the cage is not in the four way match at New Blood Rising. Let me repeat that: it’s a four team elimination Hell in a Cell match to qualify for another four way Tag Team Title match with only one of them actually not qualifying. Normally I would make a joke here but I think this writes itself.
Palumbo goes for the door to start as Konnan talks about avocados. The Misfits clear out the ring, which would seem to put everyone else on the advantage wouldn’t it? Everyone brawls on the floor with the cameras all in extreme closeups, meaning you can only see a few people at a time. Mysterio and Juvy throw Jindrak and O’Haire out, sending Jindrak and O’Haire to New Blood Rising.
Perfect Event gets away and walks out, finally leaving us with a match that I can keep track of. Juvy breaks up No Laughing Matter so Rey can hit the Bronco Buster….as Perfect Event locks the cage. Never fear though as Konnan just happens to have bolt cutters. Does this surprise anyone? Cue Disco on top of the cage to try and break in, allowing Juvy and Rey to pull out a ladder.
The speculation is that the Animals were in cahoots with the Perfect Event……which makes no sense as the Perfect Event could have just let them out the door when they had the advantage but whatever. This also ignores the BOLT CUTTERS that could have let the Animals get out since they had the advantage. Rey and Juvy dive off the ladder instead of climbing out, only to have the Misfits get up almost immediately.
Rection and Mysterio get on the roof as Juvy and Cajun go through the door at the same time. Tony: “I think Juvy went out first so MIA won it.” Even the announcers have no idea how the rules work. Tony: “Does being on the roof count as being out? We’re completely lost.” Now Konnan sets up a table at ringside as Disco helps beat up Rey on the roof.
Cajun gets Juvy on the table as Rection teases an elbow off the cage, only to have Rey break it up. Konnan and Juvy throw Cajun through the table and the other two get back inside. Rey tries to drop off the roof into a hurricanrana but Rection catches him in a powerbomb and leaves for the win. Well co-win.
Rating: R. For Rube Goldberg Machine. I don’t remember the last time I saw something so complicated for the sake of such an easy task as “get the Filthy Animals out of the pay per view match”. This came out of nowhere and was such a mess that the announcers had no idea what was going on.
I mean……wow. They threw out a huge gimmick match with no warning, no story, no reason for this to be happening, a goal that is far easier to accomplish and a plan that has absolutely no logic behind it. This is also the longest match on the show tonight and the World Title match (as in the second one tonight, in theory at least) is going on with less than six minutes to go in the show, including entrances.
We immediately cut to Booker telling Stevie he has to do this.
With five and a half minutes to go in the show, we need to see Stevie asking Goldberg to not do this and get thrown through a window for his efforts.
Oh and then a replay.
Stevie is loaded into an ambulance with Booker by his side.
WCW World Title: Booker T. vs. Goldberg
Booker is defending for the second time tonight. Goldberg gets the full backstage entrance but thankfully Booker charges down the aisle to jump him from behind, meaning we’ll have 3:16 to go at the opening bell. Goldberg knocks him down but Booker hits a quick ax kick with a brace on his knee as they get inside. It doesn’t seem to matter as Goldberg snaps him down with a powerslam and goes after the cut on the forehead.
Cue Jarrett with a chair to Goldberg (apparently this is No DQ, which the announcers seem to think we knew coming in), earning himself a spear, which he sells almost as well as anyone I’ve ever seen. This brings out the Cat in a referee shirt to knock Goldberg down with a kick to the face (oh please) and the Book End gives Booker the pin at a whopping 2:27.
Goldberg pops up (good) and hits the two moves on Booker to end the show.
Overall Rating: F. Oh geez do you think Russo is back in charge yet? We had a match that was so complicated that I was confused before it even started, Booker vs. Goldberg twice with Goldberg getting pinned in less than 150 seconds and a string of matches that either didn’t have a finish or didn’t have time to get anywhere because we needed to give Russo’s big idea ten minutes, or nearly double what anything else had all night. So much for the string of good shows.
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