Survivor Series Count-Up – 1987 (2022 Redo): They Found The Magic Word

Survivor Series 1987
Date: November 26, 1987
Location: Richfield Coliseum, Richfield, Ohio
Attendance: 21,300
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

This is the requested redo so we’ll go all the way back to the beginning of the series, which was quite the mess in its own right. The WWF had tried some elimination tags at house shows and they got over huge so it was time to run a full event of the things. If they could happen to screw over the NWA with its first pay per view on the same day, Starrcade 1987, so be it of course. Let’s get to it.

The Fink welcomes us to the show and introduces Jesse and Gorilla for commentary, which is a weird thing to see. I’m not sure I can ever remember WWF doing it otherwise. Monsoon’s first line of the show: “What are you doing Jess?” They intro the show and send us to the intro video, which could be on just about any weekend show.

Commentary goes over all of the matches in their always good conversational style. It’s fine that they disagree at times, but there are times where it feels like they are two people who respect each other and are even friends. That is so badly missing from commentary today.

We go over the rules of a Survivor Series match. It’s so weird having a time where that wasn’t commonly known.

The Honky Tonk Man is ready to go because he has an amazing team put together, even down to the managers. As for tonight, he might even SHAKE RATTLE AND ROLL ELIZABETH! Well that’s just not very nice. I love these group shots of the wrestlers, as not only do you get what most of them are, but it also screams 1980s so hard. Throw in Hercules looking like his head is about to explode and it’s even better.

Team Randy Savage wants to destroy everyone, with Hacksaw Jim Duggan especially wanting to take out Harley Race for hitting him with his own 2×4. Savage being all over the top is….well very Savage really.

Team Honky Tonk Man vs. Team Randy Savage

Honky Tonk Man, Ron Bass, Danny Davis, Harley Race, Hercules
Randy Savage, Ricky Steamboat, Jake Roberts, Jim Duggan, Brutus Beefcake

Entrances take forever, as we have ten people coming to the ring, with Jesse being in awe of Randy Savage’s entrance (fair enough, and Jesse was always a big Savage guy). Beefcake and Hercules get to make history as the first people ever to start a Survivor Series match, apparently as per the captains’ choice (which didn’t last long). A lockup goes nowhere so Beefcake tries strutting as Gorilla says the possible combinations of numbers are endless. Actually if my math is right it’s about 30 but I don’t question Gorilla.

A shoulder drops Beefcake but he’s right back with a quickly broken sleeper. Davis comes in and Beefcake cleans house without much trouble before pulling Davis back in. It’s off to Roberts to work on the arm and the good guys get to take turns on Davis. For some reason Roberts and Duggan tell Savage to hand it off to Steamboat instead of one of them, leaving Steamboat to miss a charge into the corner. Race comes in and gets in a few shots, only for Steamboat to chop him in the head.

Back to back skinnings of the cat leave Race frustrated so Steamboat throws him over the top instead. Steamboat brings Duggan in to slug Race outside and it’s a double countout for the first eliminations at 4:39. Back in and it’s Bass slamming Roberts but missing an elbow, allowing Savage to give him a running knee. Savage makes the mistake of going after Honky Tonk Man though, allowing the villains to get in a cheap shot. Bass comes back in and since it’s Ron Bass, Savage escapes with no trouble and brings in Beefcake for the high knee and the pin on Bass at 7:01.

Hercules comes in and takes over on Beefcake’s arm, allowing Honky Tonk Man to do the same. Beefcake punches his way to freedom, including a weird double punch that you would think someone else would have used before. Davis gets in a cheap shot from the apron though and Shake Rattle and Roll finishes Beefcake at 10:51.

As we get the world’s first and still only STEVE LOMBARDI RULES sign in the crowd, Savage comes in to chase after Honky Tonk Man but gets jumped by the legal Hercules instead. Dang man pay attention. For some reason Davis is allowed to come in and hammer on Savage, who elbows him in the head. It’s off to Roberts who can’t DDT Honky Tonk Man but can charge into a raised knee in the corner (which always looks painful). Davis comes back in (oh boy) for some shots to the ribs but Roberts shrugs it off and hits the short arm clothesline, setting up the DDT for the pin at 15:11.

Hercules is right there to take over on Roberts though, with Honky Tonk Man drawing in Savage, who is a bit too obsessed with revenge at this point (shocking I know). The chinlock goes on as commentary debates the merits of having the crowd on your side. Roberts fights up and knee lifts Honky Tonk Man away but Hercules is right there for his own chinlock. A jawbreaker gets Roberts out of trouble and the hot tag brings in Steamboat to clean house. The top rope chop to the head sets up the tag to Savage (Jesse: “Uh oh.”) for the top rope elbow and the pin at 21:04.

So it’s Honky Tonk Man vs. Savage/Roberts/Steamboat, with Savage missing a charge into the corner to give Honky Tonk Man a breather. Steamboat comes right back in and chops away before handing it off to Roberts to keep up the rotating beating. An atomic drop sends Honky Tonk Man over the top and that’s enough for him as he takes the countout (smartest thing he’s ever done) to wrap it up at 23:43.

Rating: B-. This is how you open a new concept show as you had stars that people cared about with a wide variety of eliminations and situations. It’s a good way to get the fans into what they’re seeing, with Savage doing everything he could to get his hands on Honky Tonk Man. Very fun match and a great choice to get things going.

Team Andre the Giant is ready to crush Hulk Hogan and friends tonight, with Slick being VERY over the top and Bobby Heenan being incredibly confident. One Man Gang, who is a huge man in his own right, being absolutely dwarfed by Andre is an amazing visual. Granted the closeup of Andre’s face as he says he’s coming for Hogan’s soul with his eyes bugging out is even worse.

Team Fabulous Moolah vs. Team Sensational Sherri

Fabulous Moolah, Rockin Robin, Velvet McIntyre, Jumping Bomb Angels
Sensational Sherri, Donna Christianello, Dawn Marie, Glamour Girls

It’s so weird to see a women’s match in this era but there is more than enough talent to make this work. For some reason Moolah is announced at 160lbs, which can’t be correct and certainly seems to offend her. Sherri jumps McIntyre to start fast and drops her with a running clothesline. Moolah comes in to beat on Sherri so Christianello comes in to get dropkicked by McIntyre. A victory roll gets rid of Christianello at 1:59 so it’s Robin coming in to dropkick Martin (Judy Martin of the Glamour Girls).

Sherri comes in for her own dropkick and hands it off to Marie (not THAT Dawn Marie, in a joke that no one has ever made before I’m sure), who is crossbodied for the pin at 4:11. Itsuki (of the Angels) comes in blows Jesse’s mind (you can tell he’s actually impressed) with her rollups and kicks to Kai. Sherri comes in and gets suplexed by Tateno, with Jesse being amazed that the champ is getting beaten up like this. Robin monkey flips Kai but gets pulled into the wrong corner so the beating can be on. Sherri hits a suplex to get rid of Robin at 6:56.

Tateno takes Robin’s place and is thrown around by the hair (OUCH) to put her in the corner. McIntyre comes in for a spinning crossbody (cool) and Moolah follows up with a dropkick. It’s off to Itsuki, who slams Kai off the top but misses a dropkick (popular move in this one). Moolah gets to hammer away a bit more but a blind tag lets Martin hit a clothesline for the pin at 8:57.

As commentary DOESN’T panic at the idea of the captain being eliminated, McIntyre comes in to Boston crab Martin. With that falling apart, McIntyre wisely switches to a bow and arrow, which doesn’t last long either. Sherri grabs a suplex, which leaves McIntyre landing kind of awkwardly on her neck/shoulders and she’s almost immediately over for a tag to Tateno. Martin suplexes Tateno for two and a bell in a rare timekeeper’s botch, with commentary IMMEDIATELY saying not so fast (take notes Michael Cole).

McIntyre’s back is fine enough to come in for a giant swing on Sherri, followed by another victory roll (which clearly in a lot of pain) and the pin at 14:56. Tateno comes back in as McIntyre can barely get out of the ring and has to almost lay on the apron. Kai blocks a suplex so it’s back to McIntyre, who tries another victory roll but gets slingshotted into an electric chair (that looked good) for the pin at 17:23. That would be McIntyre’s last match for over a month so there was something wrong.

We’re down to the Angels vs. the Girls with Tateno wasting no time in hitting a high crossbody to get rid of Kai at 18:43. Martin is on her own and starts with a fireman’s carry drop for two on Tateno. Itsuki comes back in for a top rope knee, Tateno dropkicks Jimmy Hart off the apron, and Itsuki adds a top rope clothesline for the pin at 20:18.

Rating: C. The wrestling wasn’t the best for the most part, but what is impressive here is that they had ten women who could put together a completely watchable match like this one. Women’s wrestling in the 80s gets a bad reputation but they were a genuine part of the card and had good matches in the right circumstances. This didn’t feel out of place whatsoever and the Angels were a total highlight so this was quite the fine use of 20+ minutes.

Team Hart Foundation, minus the national anthem singing Bolsheviks, are ready to win. A disheveled Jimmy Hart comes in and wants revenge.

Team Strike Force, not minus singing Russians, are ready to win.

Team Strike Force vs. Team Hart Foundation

Strike Force, Fabulous Rougeau Brothers, Killer Bees, British Bulldogs, Young Stallions
Hart Foundation, Demolition, New Dream Team, Bolsheviks, Islanders

If someone is eliminated, their partner is gone too. Volkoff jumps Martel to start and shrugs off a rollup without much trouble. Zhukov comes in and misses an elbow so it’s off to Santana for the flying forearm and the pin at 1:45. It’s off to Ax for the standard Demolition forearms to the back before Jacques gets to work on Bravo’s arm. The rapid fire tags leave us with Dynamite being dragged into the corner for a chop off with Haku.

Dynamite gets Haku over so the Bees can start in on his hamstrings and it’s off to Roma. Neidhart slams him down and Haku drops him with a clothesline. Smash’s slam sends Roma into the corner for the tag to Jacques, who is quickly dropped and pinned by Smash at 5:50.

Powers comes in and gets put on Neidhart’s shoulder for a top rope forearm from Haku (that’s a cool move and could have been a decent finisher for a team) and two. It’s back to Roma, who gets shouldered breakered and suplexed by Valentine. Smash misses a charge though and it’s Dynamite coming in to get kicked in the face. The beating continues but Smash throws the referee down and that’s a DQ at 9:22.

Powers sends Tama into the corner and gets clotheslined for his efforts as neither Gorilla nor Jesse can get Tama’s (Haku/Toma) name right. Martel comes in to dropkick Tama but he’s WAY too close to the ropes for the Boston crab. Neidhart makes the save so Santana comes in with the flying forearm, meaning Hart has to make a save. It’s such a save that Neidhart pins Santana at 12:05 as the field has thinned quite a bit (as it needed to).

As Jesse talks about his great great great grandfather Ephraim the Body coming over on the Mayflower, Bret hits a backbreaker on Powers and Tama adds a top rope knee for two. Oddly enough, Hart allows powers to get over for a tag to Roma, which felt rather out of the norm for him. It’s right back to Powers as Jesse wonders why the beaten up Stallions wouldn’t tag in a fresh Bee or Bulldog. Roma gets knocked into the corner for the tag to Dynamite, who suplexes Hart for a fast two.

Bulldog headbutts Haku over and over and somehow doesn’t knock himself silly. Powers misses a charge and gets taken into the wrong corner but it’s right back to Bulldog. The gorilla press gets two on Bret and the running powerslam gets the same on Haku. Dynamite adds the flying headbutt and knocks himself silly on Haku’s head, with Jesse going right into the rant about how stupid that was. A superkick gets rid of the Bulldogs at 19:59 and we’re down to Harts/Islanders/Dream Team vs. Bees/Stallions.

The Dream Team takes over on Powers as commentary talks about how the villains don’t really like each other anyway. The side slam drops Powers, who kicks away Valentine’s Figure Four attempt. That’s enough for Roma to come in off the top with a sunset flip to pin Valentine at 23:29.

Blair comes in for a jumping knee for two on Neidhart so Hart gets to try his luck. A headlock drags Roma over for the tag to Tama, who kicks Roma down without much effort. Haku misses a legdrop though, allowing Blair to hit his own legdrop for two. Roma comes back in and gets suplexed so Tama can rip at Roma’s eyes.

Haku hits a dropkick and Gorilla says he’d like to see Neidhart try that. Before the words are out of his mouth, Neidhart hits his own dropkick in a spot so perfectly timed that it had to have been a coincidence. Brunzell comes in and tries to slam Hart but Tama kicks him down…with Brunzell rolling through to pin Hart at 29:29.

So it’s the Islanders vs. the Bees/Stallions, with Tama going right to the nerve hold. Haku comes in for a nerve hold of his own before it’s back to Tama for the third nerve hold. A suplex mixes things up a bit for two but Brunzell manages to knock his way to freedom. Roma comes back in for two off a powerslam but Haku takes him down again. Jesse praises the Islanders for being saucy with hard heads as Haku misses an elbow, allowing the diving tag back to Brunzell. Gorilla isn’t sure what’s up with that as a masked Killer Bee (their method of cheating) slingshots in with a sunset flip to pin Tama for the win at 37:16.

Rating: A-. This was all about the talent involved as you had one great combination after another. The Stallions and Bees getting the glory in the end was a little weird but points for trying to put someone else over. Good stuff here and all the proof you need that this was the golden age for tag team wrestling, as there were all kinds of good to great teams in there and it doesn’t feel anywhere near the forty minutes that it runs.

Ted DiBiase talks about how great Thanksgiving is and we see a montage of him doing horrible things to people. Of note: a boy who gets a basketball kicked away from him is one Rob Van Dam. Then DiBiase has a catered dinner because he is one of the best villains in the history of wrestling.

Commentary talks about the show so far, with Jesse thinking that Honky Tonk Man did the right thing by walking away instead of risking an injury. This is the friendly chat that made their commentary feel real as compared to the constant yelling and insulting exchanges that you see too often with modern heel commentators.

Jesse is also REALLY impressed by the Jumping Bomb Angels, saying that the Glamour Girls (Women’s Tag Team Champions) are in trouble. He compares the Angels to a Dynamite Kid, a Ricky Steamboat or a Randy Savage, saying “that was fantastic, I enjoyed it”. That is how you put a team over. On the other hand, Jesse isn’t happy with the Killer Bees using their mask trick and wants an investigation. They’re both really looking forward to the main event though, because Hulk Hogan is getting back in the ring with Andre the Giant.

Honky Tonk Man insists that he is the real survivor and will face Hulk Hogan any time. This is pretty clearly intermission as they wait around on the main event, which makes sense on a four match show.

Team Hulk Hogan is VERY fired up with Hogan talking about how hungry the team is. That bandanna with the tassels hanging down over Hogan’s eyes is always a weird look.

Team Hulk Hogan vs. Team Andre The Giant

Hulk Hogan, Don Muraco, Ken Patera, Paul Orndorff, Bam Bam Bigelow
Andre The Giant, Rick Rude, One Man Gang, Butch Reed, King Kong Bundy

Bobby Heenan handles Andre’s introduction, which is a very Heenan thing of him to do. Hogan of course gets his own entrance, which is a very Hogan thing to do….but egads you can hear the reaction when he comes out with that American flag. Jesse: “I’m not even going to try to talk over this.” Gorilla: “Good thinking.” Muraco and Rude start things off with Rude hammering away in the corner. Orndorff comes in and knocks Rude into the corner so Hogan can come in for a very rare meeting with Rude (they didn’t like each other).

It’s off to Bigelow for the running headbutt and a gorilla press as they’re certainly starting fast. Patera screws up (shocking) by knocking Rude into the corner for the tag to Reed, who gets dropkicked down by Muraco. Orndorff hits some dropkicks of his own as even Jesse says Andre’s team isn’t doing so well so far. Hogan drops the leg and that’s it for Reed at 3:04….and it’s Andre time.

Some high fives to Patera count as a tag though and Jesse is ALL OVER Joey Marella for calling that a tag and trying to save Hogan again. Hogan protests too but doesn’t think about, you know, tagging right back in, leaving Andre to say the heck with Patera and hand it off to Bundy.

Some forearms don’t go anywhere so it’s off to Gang, who gets knocked into the corner by Orndorff. Rude comes back in and gets elbowed and slammed, with Jesse saying Rude just isn’t having a good night. Patera manages to crossbody Gang down for two but gets taken into the wrong corner so the beating can ensue. Gang and Patera hit double clotheslines but Gang falls on him for the pin at 8:44.

Hogan comes in to hammer on Gang (that’s his bread and butter), setting up a double big boot with Bigelow. Gang gets over to tag in Rude, who gets beaten down again by Orndorff. A cheap shot from Bundy breaks up the piledriver though and Rude grabs a rollup with trunks for the pin at 10:22.

Save for a house show feud with Rude, that was it for Orndorff in the WWF. Muraco comes in to powerslam Rude for the pin at 11:10, leaving us with Muraco/Hogan Bigelow vs. Gang/Bundy/Andre. Bundy misses a knee drop and Muraco is smart enough to go right after that leg. It’s already back to Gang, who falls on top of Muraco during a slam attempt. The big splash is enough to finish Muraco at 12:54.

Bigelow comes in and gets clotheslined right back down by Bundy. Hogan has to make a save, with Gorilla immediately saying that he has a five count to get out. Jesse doesn’t stand for that (good for him) as Bundy comes in to hammer on Bigelow. Jesse: “You won’t see any hair pulling here.”. It’s off to Andre but Bigelow rolls over for the tag to Hogan and OH YEAH the fans are into this. Hogan wins a chop/slug out but gets pulled to the floor. Hogan slams Gang and Bundy….but gets counted out at 18:13, leaving even Jesse stunned. Since it’s Hogan, he refuses to leave until he is threatened with a forfeit.

So it’s Bigelow vs. Andre/Bundy/Gang as Jesse praises Gang and Bundy for being glorified pawns to get rid of Hogan. Bigelow stretches a bit before jumping on Bundy to start fast. A clothesline sets up a falling headbutt for two but a dropkick doesn’t drop Bundy. Instead Bigelow takes him down by the leg and a slingshot splash gets rid of Bundy at 20:48. It’s off to Gang, with Jesse saying he can pick which of Bigelow’s tattoos he wants to hit.

Bigelow charges into a boot in the corner so Gang goes up top (uh oh) and misses a splash, allowing Bigelow to get the pin at 23:05. That means it’s Andre vs. Bigelow and I think you know where this is going. A big right hand knocks Bigelow into the ropes but he holds on to avoid a big boot. Bigelow rolls away a few times but gets caught in the corner for the shoulders. A butterfly suplex/hiptoss finishes Bigelow at 24:21.

Rating: C+. This was more or less the semi-sequel to Hogan vs. Andre at Wrestlemania III and Andre wins to help rebuild him. The big rematch was coming later of course, but for now, Andre wins and that is enough to keep things going. The rest of the match was only so good, but what matters here is getting Andre back to being a force and making Bigelow look like the next big thing, even if he was all but done in about six months.

Post match Hogan IMMEDIATELY runs out and beats up Andre to clear the ring. Andre wants to come back in but Bobby Heenan holds him off and says not until Hogan signs on the totted line. Hogan poses a lot and yeah there’s no defending how much of a sore loser he’s being here.

In the back, Heenan and Andre say if Hogan wants Andre, sign the contract for another title match.

Hogan is STILL posing and Gorilla is STILL defending him as Jesse is thrilled at the idea of getting out of Cleveland.

A highlight package wraps us up.

Overall Rating: B. The word here is fun. This is a show that had a concept and they RAN with it, giving us a very entertaining night. No it wasn’t anything that really mattered for the most part, but some of the falls and results could be spun off for months on the house show circuit. The big there here though is that they put a bunch of people (fifty wrestlers in four matches is nuts) on the show so you were almost guaranteed to see someone you liked and it would be hard to not have a good time. I’ve seen this show more often than I can count and it absolutely holds up as a hidden gem of the Golden Era. Check this out if you can.

Ratings Comparison

Team Randy Savage vs. Team Honky Tonk Man

Original: B+
2012 Redo: B
2022 Redo: B-

Team Sherri Martel vs. Team Fabulous Moolah

Original: C+
2012 Redo: C+
2022 Redo: C

Team Hart Foundation vs. Team Strike Force

Original: B
2012 Redo: C-
2022 Redo: A-

Team Hogan vs. Team Andre the Giant

Original: B
2012 Redo: B-
2022 Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: A-
2012 Redo: B+
2022 Redo: B

It’s still a good show but WHAT WAS I THINKING ON THAT TAG MATCH???

Here is the original if you’re interested:

Survivor Series Count-Up – 1987 (Original): The Wrestlemania Rematch

And the 2012 Redo:

Survivor Series Count-Up – 1987 (2012 Redo): Four The Easy Way

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282 W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

WWF Wrestling Challenge – October 11, 1986: Hulk’s Mic Drop

Wrestling Challenge
Date: October 11, 1986
Location: Wicomico Youth & Civic Center, Salisbury, Maryland
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

We’ll do one more of these for now as the big feature from last week saw Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis kicked into high gear. Other than that, there isn’t much going on as far as a major feud, with Hulk Hogan being nowhere to be seen (save for endorsing Honky Tonk Man) and Bobby Heenan wanting competition. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Quick welcome from the hosts.

Opening sequence.

Here’s what’s coming on the show.

Randy Savage vs. Billy Jack Haynes

Non-title and we’re starting with the big match for a change. Savage hides behind Elizabeth when Hayes comes at him to start, prompting Gorilla to call Savage a mouse. We get an inset interview from Elizabeth about how nice Savage is but Savage interrupts and runs her off. Haynes starts fast and knocks him to the floor where Savage needs a breather.

Back in and Savage grabs the rope to avoid a dropkick, setting up the top rope ax handle. They trade big clotheslines (Heenan liked Savage’s better) and Haynes drops a middle rope fist. The full nelson goes on but the referee gets bumped (that’s rare in 1986). Cue referee Danny Davis to DQ Haynes at 4:22.

Rating: C. This was a better match than you usually get on here, but what else were you expecting with Savage involved? Haynes is someone who had a great look but wasn’t really able to back it up with anything else. He looked solid enough in defeat here, but this was about the evil and nothing more, which isn’t the worst idea given how random of a match they had.

Say it with me: Monsoon is livid.

Ricky Steamboat is always asks what makes him mad and the answer is wrestlers who claim to need managers. He has been doing this for eleven years and hasn’t needed any help keeping track of his career. The reality is wrestlers needing help at ringside. Steamboat goes on about how he doesn’t like Jake Roberts and the DDT….and gets cut off by the music mid-sentence.

Bob Orton Jr. and Don Muraco (in something resembling a Roddy Piper costume) show us a clip from last week with the two of them and Adrian Adonis beating the daylights out of Roddy Piper.

In some new footage, we see Piper, with his knee in a huge brace and limping on a baseball bat, promising to take care of those sons of b****** (and yes it’s uncensored) and destroy the Flower Shop. Piper does just that, falling down multiple times, and promises that the war has just begun.

Orton and Muraco are happy that Piper will be limping for the rest of his life and are ready to ruin the rest of him. Then he will know that Orton carried him and that Muraco demands an apology. Piper had that fire in him and there isn’t much more intimidating than that in wrestling.

The Machines speak some Japanese (they all happen to be car manufacturers) and list off some teams they would like to face. Ichiban.

Killer Bees vs. Butch Cooper/Barry O

Blair takes Cooper to the mat to start and, in their insert interview, promise confusion through the powers of the masks. Barry O (the O is for Orton and he has a nephew named Randy) comes in and gets his arm cranked a bit but Brunzell gets pulled out of the air so Cooper can get in a single shot. It’s already back to Blair who cleans house before Brunzell finishes Cooper with a dropkick at 2:35.

Harley Race talks about how he has been the King since before he won the crown. Hawk (yes Hawk) Hogan comes up short to him and that’s why everyone was there when he was crowned. Just keep feeding him people, because he wants to hurt people. Sweet goodness that voice is awesome.

Hart Foundation vs. Mario Mancini/Nick Kiniski

Bret takes Nick (son of Gene) up against the ropes to start and a sunset flip gets two. We get an insert promo from the Harts, as they don’t seem to agree about how much they get alone. Nick armdrags Neidhart down and it’s off to Mancino, who gets taken into the corner. Heenan thinks that, save for Studd and Bundy, the Harts will be the next Tag Team Champions (yep). The Hart Attack finishes Mancini at 1:58.

Post match Danny Davis leaves before the losers leave, which has Gorilla, say it with me, livid.

We go to the Snake Pit and Jake Roberts brings out…..Hulk Hogan. Well that escalated quickly. Hogan doesn’t think much of a single python when he has two 24 inch Pythons. Roberts isn’t impressed but Hogan talks about being on the positive side of things instead of the negative like Jake. Roberts asks if he would ever turn his back on a man that he’s afraid of. Hogan says no and walks off in a pretty awesome moment.

Tito Santana/Pedro Morales vs. Ken Glover/Steve Lombardi

Santana armbars Lombardi (who is quite the brawler….from Brooklyn) and we get a quick insert promo from Pedro, who puts over Santana in Spanish. Pedro comes in and backdrops Lombardi before it’s off to Glover, who gets backdropped as well. The beating continues as Gorilla asks about all the money Heenan owes people for slamming Big John Studd. Before Heenan can answer, the atomic drop finishes Glover at 2:21.

Moondog Spot vs. Toma

Toma jumps over him to start and fires off a chop but misses an elbow. We get an insert promo from Billy Graham in the desert as Spot comes back with a suplex. Toma makes another comeback but Moondog Rex comes in for the DQ at 1:23.

Post match Haku comes in for the big beatdown as I try to get my head around the idea of the Islanders as faces. Toma is named as the winner, and for some reason his name was spelled as “Toma” before and “Tama” (the more common way it was spelled) after.

The Wizard, with Sika, shouts about wanting to hurt people. He has also found Kamala, who is ready to reach the thirty third level of communication. Anyway, Sika is a complete throwback to the old Polynesian warriors and threatens Hulk Hogan.

Overall Rating: C+. Maybe it was the people who appeared or maybe it was the lack of Junkyard Dog but this was one of the more enjoyable Wrestling Challenges I’ve seen so far. The show flew by and had some entertaining stuff throughout. Throw in Piper losing his mind as he wants revenge and this was quite the entertaining 45 or so minutes.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

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Wrestling Challenge – September 20, 1986: The Distant Future

Wrestling Challenge
Date: September 20, 1986
Location: Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Ernie Ladd, Johnny V

I’m not sure what to expect from this show and that is what makes the show so much fun. Instead of one big story, it’s more like they’re picking random wrestlers who have a little something going on at the moment and throw them into some squash matches. That’s how things worked in the Golden Era so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Quick host intro.

Opening sequence.

Here’s what’s coming this week.

Hart Foundation vs. Islanders

This is when the Islanders were still good guys and Jimmy hart is in the Harts’ corner. Of note: the graphics say this include “Hako” and “Brett” Hart. The Harts jump them to start and clear the ring until it’s Neidhart kneeing Tama in the ribs. There’s a bite to the face as Johnny V makes south Pacific jokes.

Something like a Demolition Decapitator drops Tama again as we get an insert promo from Jimmy Hart about how much better his team is than the Islanders. The referee doesn’t see the tag to Haku so everything breaks down, with the barricade being knocked down at ringside. Toma busts out a crazy dive over the top (In 1986!) and the referee throws it out at 2:39, which is a bit of a surprise.

Post match the Islanders clean house without much trouble.

This week’s Wrestler’s Rebuttal is from Adrian Adonis, who is ready for his debate with Roddy Piper in the coming weeks. The topic: who has the better talk show segment. So they’re talking about talking? This isn’t so much a rebuttal as much as a clip from Superstars.

Randy Savage vs. Tony Garea

Non-title and AGAIN Danny Davis messes up by distracting Garea. Not that it matters as Garea is right back with a crossbody for two and a sunset flip for the same. Back up and Savage knees him out to the floor, setting up the top rope ax handle. We get an insert promo from Billy Graham in the desert, where he says he’s coming back to hurt someone. Like Savage for example. Savage takes him back inside, hits the slam and drops the elbow for the pin at 2:26. Garea got in a bit there but then it was the Savage Show, meaning it was awesome.

Jake Roberts thinks Ricky Steamboat is stupid for coming after him after getting burned once before. And no, he didn’t get the Snake Pit by brown nosing, but because he has talent.

Machines vs. Tiger Chung Lee/Al Navarro/JJ Jackson

Oddly enough, Hayes doesn’t know Jackson’s name and has to ask him. Lou Albano is here with the Machines: Big Machine (Blackjack Mulligan), Super Machine (Ax from Demolition) and Giant Machine (I’ll let you figure it out). Lee and Big start things off as we get an insert promo from Bobby Heenan talking about how much smarter he is than Albano, who must have a machine for these machines. Jackson comes in and gets clotheslined by Super, who sends him into a right hand from Giant for the pin at 1:30. This team is hilarious in a way that would only work in wrestling.

Koko B. Ware, with music box blaring, gets Ken Resnick to dance with him. He is no stepping stone.

BUY WWF MAGAZINE!

BUY LJN ACTION FIGURES! No really, as those things are valuable today.

BUY WWF THUMB WRESTLERS! I think I had most of those.

Dream Team vs. Lanny Poffo/Dick Slater

That’s a heck of a random jobber team and oddly enough they get a full entrance while Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine are already in the ring. Poffo’s poem is about how Slater is a rebel from Dixie who will do his thing. Valentine slams Poffo to start as we get an insert promo from Mr. Fuji, who does NOT like Dixie. Slater comes in and elbows Valentine in the head for two.

That’s enough for Johnny V, the Dream Team’s manager, to bail on commentary and go take care of his team. A suplex gets two on Slater and a sunset flip gives him two on Valentine. Everything breaks down and Valentine snaps Poffo’s throat across the top rope so Beefcake can get the pin at 2:35. The V stuff made it a bit more interesting.

And now, the Snake Pit with Bobby Heenan and Paul Orndorff. Jake talks about fakers and Orndorff says Hulk Hogan wants to be him. The robe comes off so Orndorff can pose, with Heenan saying Orndorff’s thirst will only be quenched when he wins the WWF Title.

Sika vs. Rick Hunter

The Wizard is here with Sika. Hunter slugs away to start and gets choked down with no effect. Sika slaps him down and we get an insert interview from Honky Tonk Man, who is still on his way. Hunter tries to forearm his way out of trouble and gets choked into the corner. More choking ensues as the Wizard shouts at Sika, who finishes with the Samoan drop (with Sika more laying him down than dropping) for the pin at 3: 23.

Rating: D. When the Samoan drop isn’t looking great, there is only so much that you’re going to get out of a match. Sika was never much on his own but was quite great when he was part of the Wild Samoans. That being said, this was another weak match which got some time, partially due to Honky Tonk Man sucking any life out of the thing with his out of date good guy act.

Video on the Rougeau Brothers riding motorcycles and in a boat. Riveting.

Killer Bees vs. Terry Gibbs/Jack Foley

Ladd thinks the Bees have ants in their pants and Monsoon thinks the Dream Team is scared to put their “John Henry” on a contract with the Killer Bees. Brunzell and Gibbs trade wristlocks to start before it’s off to Blair. Gibbs misses a running elbow so Jack comes in, only to get fireman’s carried.

This lets Johnny get in another “Iwo Jima, out of ammo” line, which must have some other meaning. An atomic drop and jumping knee drop Jack and a double elbow does the same. The arm work continues as Ladd refers to the Dream Team as the “Dream Machine”. Johnny keeps talking about how ugly Foley is and a flying hip attack gives Blair the pin at 3:31.

Rating: D+. Another slow and nothing match, with commentary sounding WAY off being the main focus. There were all kinds of tag teams around this time and the Bees, while good, weren’t exactly going to stand out when the British Bulldogs and the Harts etc. were around. They were a big enough deal here and felt like something of stars. That being said, the Jack guy would get a bit better when he started going by something closer to his real name: Mick. Yeah I know it’s not much of a secret, but I need something to get me through these matches.

Bobby Heenan says Mr. Wonderfulmania is running wild and Paul Orndorff comes in to talk about how jealous Hogan is. Hogan can’t lift like him so he stole Real American and the t-shirt ripping. Heenan chants WONDERFUL to wrap things up.

Here’s who’s coming next week.

Cue that musical review!

Overall Rating: D+. Randy Savage can only give you so much on a show with almost nothing else. The Harts vs. the Islanders felt like it could have had potential but then nothing came of it due to time. The Machines are always good for a chuckle, but I need a little more than the rapid fire short matches with almost nothing worth seeing. Still though, this is about as straight up my alley as I can get so we’ll definitely be back.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282 W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania III (2015 Redo): The Biggest Match In Wrestling History

Wrestlemania III
Date: March 29, 1987
Location: Pontiac Silverdome, Pontiac, Michigan
Attendance: 93,173
Commentators: Jesse Ventura, Gorilla Monsoon

The wide shot of the stadium to open the show is still one of the best visuals in wrestling. This is what Wrestlemania is supposed to look like and it feels like one of the biggest events the company or industry has ever had.

Vince introduces Aretha Franklin for America the Beautiful.

The announcers, including celebrities Bob Uecker (baseball announcer) and Mary Hart (Entertainment Tonight anchor), talk for a bit. Uecker and Hart will only be around for a match here and there.

Can-Am Connection vs. Bob Orton/Magnificent Muraco

The Connection is the latest pretty boy tag team comprised of Tom Zenk and Rick Martel. Rick shoulders Muraco down to start and monkey flips him for two. You can definitely see a different style in this stadium setting as opposed to an arena. Everything breaks down to start and the villains are quickly dispatched to the floor for a meeting with manager Mr. Fuji.

Hercules vs. Billy Jack Haynes

Hercules uses his chain to bust Haynes open and then slaps on the full nelson.

King Kong Bundy/Lord Littlebrook/Little Tokyo vs. Hillbilly Jim/Little Beaver/Haiti Kid

Heenan gives the crown jewels to Fabulous Moolah (the Queen) to present to Race after the match.

Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog

Post match Race sits in his chair and Dog bows, only to beat Race up with the chair in a move that draws cheers.

The Dream Team is ready for the Rougeau Brothers. Manager Luscious Johnny V: “Parlez-vous scrambled eggs?”

Fabulous Rougeau Brothers vs. Dream Team

Beefcake gets left behind as Johnny, Bravo and Valentine leave in the cart.

Piper says no retreat and no surrender.

Adonis promises to give Piper a haircut with some hedge clippers.

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Hair vs. hair and Adonis has Jimmy Hart with him. Adonis is a lot more serious and less effeminate than he was last year. Piper walks down the aisle with the biggest smile on his face. His hair is a bit longer as well to give him his better known look. They slug it out to start but Piper pulls out a belt to whip Adrian.

Adonis takes it away and whips Piper as Monsoon suddenly thinks this is unfair. Piper drags Jimmy in and whips the two of them together for a big crash. The crowd is losing it for this stuff as Piper is just crazy over. Hart trips Piper to take over though and Adonis knocks Piper to the floor. Back in and Piper says bring it on until Hart sprays cologne in his eyes.

Jimmy Hart says the Bulldogs and Tito Santana can have the war they want.

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. British Bulldogs/Tito Santana

Jesse takes Matilda to the back and Bret crawls over to Neidhart to get away from Smith. A double headbutt puts Neidhart down and a backdrop makes it even worse. Neidhart opts to just punch Smith in the face, only to have Bret miss a middle rope elbow. Dynamite takes over again as this has been one sided so far. Neidhart breaks up a pin attempt and the Harts finally take over as Uecker tries to figure out why Jimmy Hart is all over the show.

Butch Reed vs. Koko B. Ware

Power vs. speed here and Butch has Slick in his corner. Koko speeds things up to start and dropkicks Reed to the floor but Butch forearms him in the back to take over. Rights and lefts stagger Butch but he rolls through a cross body and pulls the tights to pin Koko at 3:38.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

Ever the violent one, Savage elbows the damaged throat before dropping a knee to the chest for two. Some chops to the head get Steamboat out of trouble and Savage gets tied in the ropes. Things start getting fast as they run the ropes but Savage takes him down with a knee to the back. Savage makes the eternal mistake of trying to send Steamboat over the top and the Dragon skins the cat. Who came up with that term? It sounds horrible and really has nothing to do with pulling yourself back into a ring.

Steamboat and Steele leave with the title, followed by Savage who is nearly in tears. The visual of people riding the carts up the long aisle is very effective.

Honky Tonk Man promises to win and then sing. He promises that for years but almost never delivered on it.

Jake Roberts vs. Honky Tonk Man

Roberts starts fast and rips the white and gold (popular colors tonight) Elvis suit off. Honky Tonk tries to run as Gorilla and Jesse preview Alice Cooper vs. Jimmy Hart. Back in and Jake keeps punching away before the short clothesline looks to set up the DDT. The threat of a DDT sends Honky Tonk bailing to the floor. Thank goodness he changed the oil in his hair today or he might not have been able to escape. Roberts is sent into the post to give Honky Tonk control and a middle rope fist (ala Cousin Jerry) keeps Jake in trouble.

Killer Bees vs. Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik

Rating: D+. They might as well have had a countdown clock telling us how much more time they had to kill before Hogan vs. Andre. This was another watchable but unremarkable match in a series of them tonight. This was much more about Duggan than anything else, which is fine considering Duggan would wind up being a bigger name than anyone else in the match.

Hogan hopes the world can handle the explosion coming in the main event.

The celebrity announcements are shorter this year with Uecker as ring announcer and Mary Hart as timekeeper.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

Some right hands have Andre stunned and you can see the sweat flying off his chest as Hogan chops away. Hogan rams him head first into the buckle over and over but charges into a boot to the face and Andre slaps on a bearhug. After a minute and a half in the hold, Hogan holds his arm up on the third drop and breaks it up with even more right hands (about 90% of his offense here). Andre is right back on offense though as he kicks Hogan to the floor, only to headbutt the post by mistake.

Ratings Comparison

Can-Am Connection vs. Bob Orton/Don Muraco

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: C+

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C

Hillbilly Jim/Haiti Kid/Little Beaver vs. King Kong Bundy/Little Tokyo/Lord Littlebrook

Original: F

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Rougeau Brothers vs. Dream Team

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: C+

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. British Bulldogs/Tito Santana

Original: C

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Koko B. Ware vs. Butch Reed

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

Jake Roberts vs. Honky Tonk Man

Original: C

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C-

Killer Bees vs. Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff

Original: D

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

Original: A

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: B+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: C+

Ok so I might have been a little enthusiastic about this show back in the day.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/03/07/wrestlemania-count-up-3-this-show-is-required-viewing-for-all-fans/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/12/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-iii-the-biggest-match-ever-on-the-biggest-show-ever/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282 W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania II (2015 Redo): They Didn’t Know Yet

Wrestlemania II
Date: April 7, 1986
Locations: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, New York City, New York/Rosemont Horizon, Chicago, Illinois/Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,585 (New York), 9,000 (Chicago), 14,500 (Los Angeles), 40,085 (Total)
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Susan St. James (New York), Gene Okerlund, Gorilla Monsoon, Cathy Lee Crosby (Chicago), Lord Alfred Hayes, Jesse Ventura, Elvira (Los Angeles)

Vince McMahon is in New York to welcome us to the show and introduce Ray Charles to sing America the Beautiful. As would become the custom, various images of American landscapes, military and run of the mill citizens are superimposed over the performance. Charles does an amazing rendition of the song and the fans give him the ovation he deserves.

Gene Okerlund is in Chicago to talk about the battle royal. By talk about I mean he mentions it and then throws it to the next interview.

The Magnificent Muraco vs. Paul Orndorff

Paul cranks on the arm and my goodness Muraco is sweating quite a bit. We hit a wristlock, which St. James calls an ancient Chinese technique. At least she sounds happy to be here so I can excuse some of here bad lines. Muraco gets in a right hand and they brawl to the floor for a double countout at 4:10. The fans loudly swear at the result.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. George Steele

Rating: D-. What the heck was that? I know Steele had been feuding with Savage for a long time but this was the best they could do for a major match? Total disaster here with the comedy not working and Savage just coming back and grabbing a win at the end. Savage winning was the right idea, but you could have cut a lot of the goofiness out of this to make for a better, or at least less bad match.

George eats another turnbuckle and chases the referee off.

Big John Studd and NFL player Bill Fralic talk trash before the WWF vs. NFL battle royal in Chicago. The announcement of Savage retaining in New York drowns out the yelling.

McMahon and St. James talk about the next match.

George Wells vs. Jake Roberts

Jake wraps the snake around Wells post match, making Wells foam at the mouth.

Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper

Round two begins with Mr. T. claiming that Piper has a bunch of grease on his face. Mr. T. gets him into the corner and hammers away as these are clearly fake punches since both guys would be dead otherwise. Piper gets in some heavy rights in the corner and actually knocks him down to a big cheer from the crowd. Even more bombs have Mr. T. in trouble as the round ends.

Off to Chicago. The ring looks much smaller here.

Nikolai Volkoff vs. Corporal Kirchner

Battle Royal

WWF: Pedro Morales, Tony Atlas, Ted Arcidi, Dan Spivey, Hillbilly Jim, King Tonga, Iron Sheik, B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell, John Studd, Bret Hart, Jim Neidhart, Bruno Sammartino, Andre the Giant

NFL: Jimbo Covert, Harvey Martin, Ernie Holmes, Bill Fralic, Russ Francis, William Perry

Rating: D+. Not much to see here and they made no secret of the fact that Andre was the obvious winner. The football players were really just a novelty so you could have a battle royal without looking like it was an easy way to get people on the card. They kept this short and to the point which helps things out quite a bit. Perry got the crowd going and Andre winning was the right call so no one is hurt here.

Back in New York, Piper says Mr. T. and William Perry are both cheaters. Piper denies cheating by shoving the referee.

Covert says he got cheated when someone jumped him from behind.

Iron Sheik says he proved wrestling is tougher than football.

We recap the end of the battle royal.

Tag Team Titles: British Bulldogs vs. Dream Team

Rating: B. Match of the night by far here with Dynamite taking one heck of a bump to end the match. The Bulldogs were a great team and they definitely deserved the titles and they did it in a tag match that went completely against the common tag team formula. Unfortunately it felt like it was much more about a way to get Osbourne on screen, which is only going to get worse.

Vince and Susan talk about the title change and preview the main event.

The Los Angeles announcers (Jesse Ventura, Elvira, Lord Alfred Hayes) preview their section of the card.

Hercules Hernandez vs. Ricky Steamboat

Uncle Elmer vs. Adrian Adonis

Hogan is ready to step inside a cage with King Kong Bundy after Bundy damaged his ribs a few months ago. All Hogan wants is for Bobby Heenan to try to get involved.

Funk Brothers vs. Junkyard Dog/Tito Santana

The announcers have an awkward chat as the cage is assembled.

In New York, Susan St. James picks Hogan.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

Hogan beats up Heenan and poses to end the show as Vince wraps it up from New York.

Ratings Comparison

Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

George Steele vs. Randy Savage

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D-

Jake Roberts vs. George Wells

Original: F

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Roddy Piper vs. Mr. T.

Original: F

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

Velvet McIntyre vs. Fabulous Moolah

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Corporal Kirschner vs. Nikolai Volkoff

Original: D-

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Battle Royal

Original: B

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

British Bulldog vs. Dream Team

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B

Rick Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Uncle Elmer vs. Adrian Adonis

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: F

Tito Santana/Junkyard Dog vs. Terry Funk/Hoss Funk

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B-

Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

Original: B-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Wrestlemania II is….weird. Like, really weird.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/09/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-2-what-the-hell-were-they-thinking/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/11/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-ii-three-times-the-suck/

Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania III (2015 Redo): He Slammed Him

Wrestlemania III
Date: March 29, 1987
Location: Pontiac Silverdome, Pontiac, Michigan
Attendance: 93,173
Commentators: Jesse Ventura, Gorilla Monsoon

Vince introduces Aretha Franklin for America the Beautiful.

The announcers, including celebrities Bob Uecker (baseball announcer) and Mary Hart (Entertainment Tonight anchor), talk for a bit. Uecker and Hart will only be around for a match here and there.

Can-Am Connection vs. Bob Orton/Magnificent Muraco

Hercules vs. Billy Jack Haynes

Hercules uses his chain to bust Haynes open and then slaps on the full nelson.

King Kong Bundy/Lord Littlebrook/Little Tokyo vs. Hillbilly Jim/Little Beaver/Haiti Kid

Heenan gives the crown jewels to Fabulous Moolah (the Queen) to present to Race after the match.

Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog

Post match Race sits in his chair and Dog bows, only to beat Race up with the chair in a move that draws cheers.

The Dream Team is ready for the Rougeau Brothers. Manager Luscious Johnny V: “Parlez-vous scrambled eggs?”

Fabulous Rougeau Brothers vs. Dream Team

Beefcake gets left behind as Johnny, Bravo and Valentine leave in the cart.

Piper says no retreat and no surrender.

Adonis promises to give Piper a haircut with some hedge clippers.

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Jimmy Hart says the Bulldogs and Tito Santana can have the war they want.

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. British Bulldogs/Tito Santana

Butch Reed vs. Koko B. Ware

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

Steamboat and Steele leave with the title, followed by Savage who is nearly in tears. The visual of people riding the carts up the long aisle is very effective.

Honky Tonk Man promises to win and then sing. He promises that for years but almost never delivered on it.

Jake Roberts vs. Honky Tonk Man

Killer Bees vs. Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik

Hogan hopes the world can handle the explosion coming in the main event.

The celebrity announcements are shorter this year with Uecker as ring announcer and Mary Hart as timekeeper.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

Ratings Comparison

Can-Am Connection vs. Bob Orton/Don Muraco

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: C+

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C

Hillbilly Jim/Haiti Kid/Little Beaver vs. King Kong Bundy/Little Tokyo/Lord Littlebrook

Original: F

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Rougeau Brothers vs. Dream Team

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: C+

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. British Bulldogs/Tito Santana

Original: C

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Koko B. Ware vs. Butch Reed

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

Jake Roberts vs. Honky Tonk Man

Original: C

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C-

Killer Bees vs. Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff

Original: D

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

Original: A

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: B+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: C+

Ok so I might have been a little enthusiastic about this show back in the day.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/03/07/wrestlemania-count-up-3-this-show-is-required-viewing-for-all-fans/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/12/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-iii-the-biggest-match-ever-on-the-biggest-show-ever/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania III (2013 Redo): That’s Wrestling

Wrestlemania III
Date: March 29, 1987
Location: Pontiac Silverdome, Pontiac, Michigan
Attendance: 93,173
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

Aretha Franklin sings America the Beautiful.

Gorilla and Jesse are with celebrities Bob Uecker and Mary Hart.

Can-Am Connection vs. Don Muraco/Bob Orton

Bob gets hit from one corner to the other until Zenk takes him down with an armbar. All Connection so far. They trade full nelsons and Muraco hits Orton by mistake for two. Bob gets his arm cranked on a bit until FINALLY making the tag out to Muraco. The bad luck continues for the heels as Don is slammed down and has his arm worked on as well.

We recap Hercules vs. Billy Jack Haynes which is the battle of the full nelson.

Heenan and Hercules say about what you would expect them to say.

Hercules vs. Billy Jack Haynes

This is power vs. power so expect some pretty weak chemistry. Hebner tries to get in between them in the corner which is more than a referee should do. Haynes hits a press slam but Hercules bails to the corner to avoid the full nelson. Hercules comes back with a big old clothesline and both guys are down already. A backdrop puts Haynes down and Herc pounds on the back a bit. This is very slow paced compared to the opener.

Post match Hercules blasts Haynes with his chain a few times and busts him open.

The other team says the exact opposite.

Hillbilly Jim/Little Beaver/Haiti Kid vs. King Kong Bundy/Lord Littlebrook/Little Tokyo

Even the heel midgets turn on Bundy for what he did. Jim carries out Little Beaver ala Superman and Supergirl.

Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog

Dog bows to Race but then blasts him with a chair and steals the robe.

Dream Team vs. Rougeau Brothers

Rating: C-. This was all angle rather than the match. The Rougeaus were a talented team and looked solid out there while the Dream Team looked like a relic of the past. Thankfully this would be the end for them as Bravo would replace Beefcake immediately, although the New Dream Team never went anywhere.

Valentine, Bravo and Johnny V (short for Valentine but shortened to avoid confusion) leave Beefcake behind.

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Piper comes right back by sending Adrian into the corner for Flair Flip to the floor. Both Adonis and Hart get pulled back in and Piper rams them together to send them back outside. Back in again and Piper throws Hart off the top and onto Adonis but Jimmy FINALLY gets something right by tripping Roddy down.

Post match Adonis gets his hair cut and punches a mirror. Roddy gets his big sendoff.

Jesse is introduced to the crowd before the next match to annoy Gorilla.

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. British Bulldogs/Tito Santana

Butch Reed vs. Koko B. Ware

Tito runs in and beats up Slick, ripping off his “expensive” suit. A double dropkick sends Reed to the floor.

Steamboat says this is their destiny and the Dragon is going to scorch Savage’s back. This promo still gives me chills.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

Back in and Savage gets in his first shot before sending Ricky into the buckle. Steamboat immediately comes back by grabbing the wrist and lifting Savage into the air. Savage comes back with an elbow to the face before sending Steamboat over the top and out to the floor. Randy starts going after the throat but has to stop to try to get his left arm working again. Steamboat sends him into the buckle and chops away, sending Savage into the ropes.

Honky Tonk Man vs. Jake Roberts

Rating: C. You could see the Honky Tonk Man character coming on here as Jake was way better but got cheated at the end. Honky would ride that one idea for the next year and a half, drawing WAY more money and heat than he had any right to earn. Jake would feud with various heels for the next few months while being one of the many challengers to chase Honky. He finally got with Rick Rude for an awesome string of matches.

Post match Honky is chased off and Jimmy gets covered by Damien the snake.

Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik vs. Killer Bees

WWF World Title: Andre the Giant vs. Hulk Hogan

Hulk fights back up with some forearms into the head. A running elbow staggers the Giant and Hogan sends him head first into the buckle ten times, only to charge into a boot to slow things right back down again. We hit the bearhug and Hogan is in trouble. This lasts for a LONG while until Hogan punches his way out of it, possibly hurting his hand in the process. Hulk rams into him a few times but charges into a chop to put Hogan down again. A boot to the ribs knocks Hulk to the floor but Andre headbutts the post. Hogan tries a piledriver of all things but is easily backdropped down.

Hogan poses for a long time as Heenan leaves with his head in his hands, wondering where it all went wrong.

Ratings Comparison

Can-Am Connection vs. Don Muraco/Bob Orton

Original: B+

Redo: B-

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Hillbilly Jim/Haiti Kid/Little Beaver vs. King Kong Bundy/Little Tokyo/Lord Littlebrook

Original: F

Redo: D+

Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog

Original: D+

Redo: D

Dream Team vs. Rougeau Brothers

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. Tito Santana/British Bulldogs

Original: C

Redo: C-

Butch Reed vs. Koko B. Ware

Original: N/A

Redo: D

Ricky Steamboat vs. Randy Savage

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Jake Roberts vs. Honky Tonk Man

Original: C

Redo: C

Killer Bees vs. Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff

Original: D

Redo: C-

Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

Original: A

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B+

Redo: A+

It still holds up.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/03/07/wrestlemania-count-up-3-this-show-is-required-viewing-for-all-fans/

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Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania III (Original): That’s A Lot Of People

Wrestlemania 3
Date: March 29, 1987
Location: Pontiac Silverdome, Pontiac (Detroit), Michigan
Attendance: 93,173
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura
America The Beautiful: Aretha Franklin

Now we hit the big time. This is the first time when Wrestlemania was built up as the mega event and also it’s the first time we get a few Mania traditions. For one thing, it’s the first time we get the huge main event. While the tag match and Hogan/Bundy were big matches, to say they were nothing compared to Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant is the understatement of the century.

It was also the first time we had a Mania that featured a really big midcard match in the form of what might be the greatest wrestling match of all time. There was far more backstory to these matches this time which is always a good thing as it causes far less filler. It can easily be argued that this right here is the true birth of Wrestlemania as we know it.

Can-Am Connection vs. Bob Orton/Don Muraco

That being said, let’s get to the first contest! Shockingly enough, it’s kind of a filler, but at the same time it really doesn’t feel like one. We have the short lived tag team known as the Can-Am Connection (Tom “Z-Man” Zenk and Rick Martel) against Bob Orton and Don Muraco, managed by Mr. Fuji. Now the CAC was an interesting team. They were kind of the Rockers before the Rockers.

Both were young, in shape, handsome, and fast paced workers. They were in line to be the face challengers to the Hart Foundation but Zenk left after a strange argument that we’re still unclear on and Martel was paired up with Tito Santana to form one of my all time favorite tag teams in Strike Force, who went on to beat the Harts for the belts.

But anyway onto the match. Yet again, about as basic a tag match as you can get with speed against power and that’s a combination that rarely fails. This is tag team wrestling 101 and it’s done about as well as you could ask for in a situation like this.

CAC plays the role of the young kids that aren’t that experienced against two veterans getting their first shot on the big stage to perfection. Orton gets his arm worked on and completely no sells it less than a minute later which just made me shake my head. This match boarders on a squash as the CAC are really never in trouble at all and win with a cross body on Muraco.

Rating: B-. The lack of selling by Orton and the absolute dominance by the CAC keep this from being a great match but for a warm up match for Wrestlemania that was designed to get the crowd into the show, this was done perfectly. I think I voted for this as best Mania opener ever, which I still think isn’t a stretch.

Hercules vs. Billy Jack Haynes

Next up we have Hercules against Billy Jack Haynes in a battle of the full nelsons. Simple story here: two powerhouses that both use the full nelson. A few weeks prior to this, Haynes had offered to let Hercules put the hold on him to see if he could break it. Hercules, a heel, attacked him and knocked him out with the hold, leading to this match at Mania.

The match starts off pretty fast with some hard hitting shots. Hercules takes over and all this seems to be about is getting the full nelson on the other. It’s really just a brawl which is fine as they keep it relatively short here. It’s always fun to see two big strong guys hammering on each other. Hercules has the pin and pulls him up which leads to the comeback.

Hercules gets the hold on first but it’s not on full which lets Haynes get up. Haynes eventually gets his nelson on but Hercules launches both of them to the floor where Haynes gets the hold again but we get a double count out. Haynes chases Heenan and Hercules blasts Haynes with the chain and Haynes is busted open really deep sending blood everywhere.

Rating: C-. Decent match between two brawlers that was given the right amount of time. It wasn’t supposed to be a classic and it wasn’t. This match was all about a single hold and that’s what ended the match. Went as well as it could have so it gets a decent grade.

King Kong Bundy/Lord Littlebrook/Little Tokyo vs. Hillbilly Jim/Little Beaver/Haiti Kid

There’s little story to this if any and why midget wrestlers are involved is beyond me. Bob Uecker is on commentary which is good as he’s fairly funny for someone that has no wrestling experience. The rules are simple here: big vs. big and small vs. small.

This match if nothing else proves that Bundy against Hogan was thrown together because there was nothing left. He goes from main eventing Wrestlemania to this? WOW. This is pretty short with the midgets doing most of the work. I get the idea here is that they’re supposed to be professionals and interesting but how can you argue that they’re anything but a novelty?

They go back and forth with Uecker giving some funny commentary. I’m not a fan of these kind of matches at all. They fill time here which isn’t saying much until Bundy is tagged in. Hillbilly gets beaten down by him and then Bundy slams and elbows one of the midgets causing a DQ. Hillbilly carries him to the back in what is a far cry from Superman carrying Supergirl but I’ll take what I can get I guess.

Rating: F. Seriously, what were they thinking here? This match managed to get a few minutes on the biggest show of all time. I guess you could call this the final remnant of the old days when midget matches were popular, but I’m still not getting the point of this. Nothing match and a total filler if there ever was one. And again, how did Bundy fall so far in a year?

Elizabeth Promo. This doesn’t happen as Macho comes in and says he’ll answer any questions the interviewer has. The interview never happens as Macho sends Liz away.

Junkyard Dog vs. Harley Race

Limited story here. Race was the King of the WWF at the time and on a SNME he had faced the JYD. JYD had said he wouldn’t bow to anyone and after Race had knocked him down he tried to force JYD’s head down to bow. The loser here has to bow to the winner. Race stalls like the true old school master that he is. Heenan gets involved and there goes Dog after him.

Naturally this fails him completely but since Dog has a very hard head most of Race’s shots have little to no effect. Race goes for a headbutt on the floor and Dog moves so Race rams his face into the floor. That can’t be nice at all. Gorilla and Jesse argue about managers which is always entertaining. You could tell there was a lot of respect between them.

Abdominal stretch goes on and Gorilla of course complains about it. Did he ever not complain about that hold? Race goes for a headbutt and nearly knocks himself unconscious in the process. Nice job there champ. On all fours now, which Gorilla says is Dog’s favorite position. Heenan gets up on the apron and allows Race to recover and catch a belly to belly to win it.

Rating: D+. Nothing special at all here as it was another four minute match. The right guy won though as Race was far better as far as wrestling talent went but it was surprising to see a guy like Dog, who was very popular, losing like this mostly clean. This was fine I guess.

Post match Dog bows but then pops Race with the chair and steals the crown and robe like a true jerk.

We hear from Hulk Hogan in one of the best cocaine induced promos ever. Seriously, if anyone believes that these Hogan promos aren’t drug induced then they’re far beyond what I can help. Hulk apparently thinks today is a big deal.

Rougeau Brothers vs. The Dream Team

Before we get a really weird promo from Johnny V and Dino Bravo on the Rougeaus. Johnny V is nuts but I like him. On with the match. The Dream Team is Greg Valentine and Brutus Beefcake if you were wondering. The key to this match is the Dream Team arguing for the entire match for no good reason.

Brutus tried to break up a sleeper but hit Valentine by mistake. Rougeaus hit their finisher but Bravo comes in, hits one of them and puts Valentine on Rougeau. The other three then leave Brutus in the ring, signaling the start of his face turn that lasted until 1994.

Rating: D+. Didn’t do much as it was more for the angle than the match obviously. Not a bad match at all, but nothing mind blowing. This was another way too quick match that I couldn’t get into due to simply being too short. Also the Dream Team is worthy of a major blowoff like this? Really? Pretty weak little match but technically pretty ok.

Adrian Adonis vs. Roddy Piper

Now we get to another of the famous matches here in Roddy Piper’s retirement match which has become a running joke in wrestling. The idea is that Piper went down with an injury and when he came back, Adonis had taken over Piper’s Pit and turned it into the Flower Shop.

They beat on each other for awhile until Piper thought he was an actor because of They Live so he decided to retire. Since then he’s wrestled on and off for over 20 years. A key to this match is both men use the sleeper hold as their finisher. The loser is going to get a haircut apparently.

Adrian is in his most famous gimmick here so Piper, being the MAN’S MAN that he is, hated him. There was a lot more homophobia in wrestling back then, at least in kayfabe. Well not really as any character like that is treated oddly. Those ring carts are still sweet stuff. Adonis says he’ll win. Piper busts out a belt and wipes out Adrian with it before taking a few shots of his own.

Hart gets involved a few times as this is little more than a comedy match for the most part. He finally gets something right though as he pulls Piper’s leg to give Adonis the advantage. Piper gets sent into the table and it’s all Adonis here. Back in the ring now with Piper saying bring it on.

Jimmy sprays perfume in Piper’s eyes and Adrian gets Good Night Irene, his sleeper finisher, and Piper goes down fast. He drops twice but Adrian lets go before the third drop, thinking he’s won. Brutus Beefcake runs down to wake Piper up (Adrian had accidentally cut Beefcake’s hair recently so it makes sense) and Piper gets his own sleeper to end this.

Rating: C+. It’s a standard Piper match which is always fun. This was just a comedy match but at the end of the day piper’s career was never about what he did in the ring so how can I really complain here? This was no classic or anything but it was fine and the fans cheered a lot because of it. PIper didn’t wrestle again for over two years so Piper lived up to his word for a good while at least.

Post match Beefcake cuts Adonis’ hair. A fan runs in as he leaves.

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. Tito Santana/British Bulldogs

This match is pretty much all backstory. Danny Davis used to be a referee but he would cheat for the heels. He cheated Tito out of the IC Title and gave it to Macho Man and cheated the Bulldogs out of the tag titles and handed them to the Harts. He was banned “for life plus ten years”, which lasted about a year or so and he was back again as a referee. The idea here is that he’s completely inept at wrestling and all of his opponents want to kill him and Jimmy Hart, including the Bulldogs’ bulldog Matilda.

Davis will run in and kick someone maybe twice and then bail, more or less making this a 3 on 2 handicap. Hearing the commentators sing Bret’s praises is nothing but amazing as his singles push wasn’t coming for at least another year and a half and his real singles push was almost 3 years away. The kid really had talent and you can see it here.

Before the match Jesse went down to ringside to be introduced to the crowd so we have Gorilla, Bob Uecker and the host of Entertainment Tonight so the commentary is just bad right now. Uecker has some good one liners but the woman is just mindblowingly annoying. Davis misses a splash letting Tito get tagged in and he nearly kills Davis. The faces alternate with just beating the living tar out of him including a tombstone from Davey which was just odd to see for some reason.

The ending of the match was just awful though. Davis gets the sense beaten out of him taking all three of the faces’ finishers with the last being the powerslam. Bret breaks up the pin, and less than 10 seconds after getting powerslammed, Davis gets the megaphone tossed to him and drills Davey with it for the pin.

Rating: C-. The ending was just horrible to me as Davis, a referee, no sells a tombstone, the forearm and the powerslam? With guys like the Bulldogs, Santana and Hart in there, this should have been great. At best it was ok and the ending lost that for them.

Heenan and Andre do a promo here with Andre looking absolutely creepy by not moving an inch. Weirdest part of this interview: Heenan is at least 4 inches taller than Okerlund.

Butch Reed vs. Koko B. Ware

Remember how I said there was less filler on this show? This is some of that filler. There’s no reason at all here for this match other than to let Reed get a squash here and then the post match attack. The best part of the pre match stuff is a shot of Jesse and Gorilla in the broadcast booth which is at least a few hundred feet away from the ring with Jesse showing off his Wrestlemania 3 t-shirt.

As he shows it off he starts showing off his bicep and the way he talks about it is just funny. Anyway, on with this waste of time. If there has ever been a match of a weird combination this is it. Koko is the epitome of a jobber. What did he ever win in his whole career? Reed on the other hand is a great example of someone that had it all but never could put it together. He was even lined up to be a member of the Horsemen.

He had the look, the name, the power, everything you could want but he never could put it all together and I’ve never been sure why. Anyway, this is a pretty bland match as Reed reverses a bad cross body and uses the tights to win. After the match Slick beats up Koko with the cane until Tito runs out and beats up Slick for some reason and rips up his suit.

Rating: N/A. This match was a bad squash. It had no point and the match was just boring. Easily the worst match on the show.

Savage rants about how he’s going to end this tonight.

Steamboat says the Dragon is going to scorch Savage’s back.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

I think I now know why the previous match was in the place it was. There’s nothing I can really say about this match that hasn’t already been said. In case you don’t know the backstory, here it is. About 3 months before Savage had been defending the title against Steamboat and during the match had put Steamboat’s throat over the guard rail, went up top and landed a double axe handle, driving him throat first into the rail.

Steamboat had a crushed larynx and allegedly his career was over. Savage had a match on Superstars and Steamboat’s music hit and the crowd went insane. Epic staredown ensues and the match was made for Mania. Between then and Mania, George Steele kidnaps Liz to continue their year long feud so Steele was in Steamboat’s corner.

Savage can’t keep up with him to start and Steamboat dominates with armdrags and then a big old choke. Steamboat works the arm and Savage is in trouble early. Savage throws him to the floor though and now it’s Ricky in trouble. Very nice back and forth stuff to start. Savage goes for the throat which is the part of Steamboat that he hurt earlier so there’s your reasoning.

They keep going back and forth with Steamboat hammering away to get Savage caught in the ropes. They’re moving rather fast out there and Dragon keeps throwing out that armdrag. Ton of near falls in a row for both guys. Dragon Skins the Cat but gets knocked back to the floor. Savage hits a knee to the back of Steamboat to send him over the table and into the crowd.

Jesse yells at Gorilla for saying Steele helping Steamboat back in is cheating and calls Gorilla out of being hypocritical when another heel manager helped his guy back in early. Double axe to the back of the head of Steamboat on the floor and the count is on. Gorilla wants Savage disqualified for some weird clothesline thing. That was odd.

Savage gets a gutwrench suplex for two. Here comes Steamboat again though and he sends Savage over the top with a beautiful bump to the floor. He jumps OVER the referee to hit a big chop on Savage for two. They crank it up again for more near falls all over the place. Savage eats post on a slingshot and that only gets two. He manages to grab Steamboat and send him into the post shoulder first.

And there goes the referee. Savage gets the elbow but there’s no referee for the count. Randy goes out to get his trust bell but Steele shoves him off the top and his head cracks into the bell. Both guys are down though. Savage picks him up and in the famous ending, Steamboat rolls through into a small package for the pin and the title to blow the roof off the place.

Rating: A+. As I said before, likely the greatest match of all time. Nothing but an A+ the whole way with these two beating each other up and never slowing down a bit. Apparently all of these spots were planned out months in advance in Savage’s house in Florida which worked very well as there are zero bad spots here that I can think of. Excellent match and something everyone should see at least once if not more than once.

Jake Roberts vs. The Honky Tonk Man

This all started on Jake’s interview segment the Snake Pit where Honky hit him with a real guitar. See today, the guitars Jeff Jarrett uses are fake. They’re made to explode the way they do. The one Honky used was a real one and didn’t break.

Some of the material legitimately got stuck in Jake’s neck and allegedly that’s what got him addicted to alcohol and drugs to alleviate the pain. Believe that if you want to. Anyway, that more or less started Jake’s face turn and for God knows what reason, rocker Alice Cooper is in Jake’s corner. Also factor in that Jimmy Hart is deathly afraid of snakes.

There’s really not much here. It’s about 7 minutes long so it gets some time but Honky really hadn’t established the character that made him legendary yet, so this isn’t what you’d expect. It’s a very slow paced match that was I think designed to give the people a breather after the IC Title match. They go back and forth for awhile but Jake goes for the DDT and Jimmy grabs his foot. Honky rolls him up and grabs the rope for the pin. After the match, Jake and Alice torment Jimmy with the snake to end things.

Rating: C. It’s nothing special and is little more than a breather for the fans between the two mega matches. This was allegedly a double turn according to some people but that is just stupid as both guys already were in their more famous roles. This was a pretty ok match but dude, they’re following Savage vs. Steamboat. Like anyone cares about what happened here.

We get Gene Okerlund to announce the world attendance record of 93,173. No matter what you think of the show, that’s freaking amazing. This also gets you the beginning of the long running joke with Jesse and Gorilla of Jesse wondering whether or not he and Gorilla are counted in that.

Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff vs. Killer Bees

More or less the same review of the previous match but in tag team version. This is another filler to bridge the gap between the two big matches. As Volkoff is singing, Jim Duggan runs out with the 2×4 and stops the song. This is a really dull match with the Bees using fast moves against both big guys but eventually getting caught.

Duggan is on the floor playing cheerleader throughout the whole thing. Duggan starts chasing Volkoff for some reason while Sheik has one of the Bees in the camel clutch. They go into the ring and Duggan looks at Sheik and for no reason at all, blasts him over the back with the board. Even the commentators are at a loss for why he hit him. It just made absolutely no sense at all.

Rating: D. This match was boring and the ending made less sense than an Iron Sheik promo. Again this was just filler and a way to get the crowd all fired up for that whole biggest match of all time thing coming after it. There was very little thought in this one as the buildup was weak on Superstars. All that being said though as I said in the previous rating, dude they’re right before Hogan vs. Andre.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

This match has been called the biggest match in the history of professional wrestling and that very well may be true. It was the first true super main event in Wrestlemania history. Here’s the story: Hogan and Andre used to be friends and even tag partners. They celebrated together when Hogan won the belt over 3 years ago. Hogan ran in to save Andre a few times from being beaten up by Bundy and Studd.

Fast forward a year and Hogan is being given a trophy for being World Champion for three years. Andre is given a slightly smaller trophy for not losing a match in 15 years. He looks at the trophies and just walks away. A few weeks later, they have a face to face interview on Piper’s Pit. Andre tilts Hogan’s head up at him and says “Look at me when I’m talking to you. I’m here for one reason: to challenge you for a world championship match at Wrestlemania.”

Hogan is stunned and says he can’t do it. Andre grabs Hogan’s shirt and the cross he wears and rips them off, stunning Hogan. Piper asks him if he’ll fight him and Hogan screams YES!!! You really have to understand how big this was at the time. Andre was like Taker as far as mystique goes, but 10x moreso. This would be like Hulk Hogan coming back today and challenging John Cena to a match.

Hogan cuts one of the most famous promos of his career before the match, saying that the world is going to fall at his feet after the match. Hogan always had that little hint at implying he was God in his promos but never flat out said it.

Andre comes out and the booing is mindblowing. In something that I find funny, he waves to the fans on the way down to ringside. Jesse gives the tale of the tape, which is all of Andre and Hogan’s measurements, showing that as big as Hogan is, Andre is so much bigger. Bob Uecker is the guest announcer and after introducing Andre, says three simple words: and, his opponent. After that, the fans just lose it. Hogan’s music hits and nothing else matters at all.

Gorilla puts it best by saying “The roof of the Silverdome is about to explode here!” In a great camera shot, you get a wide angle shot of the arena with the spotlight on Hogan which really shows how this whole show has been building to this one moment. Hogan gets in the ring and it’s on. I won’t go into detail here either as I’m sure you’ve all seen this at one time or another. Every word of commentary is famous here as I can almost quote the whole match to you.

Within 15 seconds, Hogan goes for a slam and we nearly get a pin. That is a point that is used for over a year as Hogan might not have gotten his shoulder up in time. The way the camera is set up you really can’t tell if he did or not. That would be a point of contention from Heenan for nearly a year, leading up to their rematch in February of 1988.

The in ring work here is really pretty bad, but no one cared. This match was all about the meaning of what was going on and the truly epic nature of the match. No one really knew who was going to win here and it was a legitimate possibility that Hogan would lose. Andre more or less beats the living crap out of Hogan the whole match until the very end. Hogan gets some shots in here and there that do some damage and Andre is clearly worn out at the end of it.

The crowd is almost stunned that Hogan is being dominated. They brawl on the floor for a bit and then head back into the ring. Andre misses a boot and Hogan clotheslines him, knocking him down. The fans go insane at the sight of this. Hulk Hulks Up and he has the crowd in the palm of his hand at this point. In what might be the most most scene in the history of wrestling, Hogan slams Andre to enter immortality.

Even the commentators are in awe at this point as Hogan drops the leg and wins the match. Andre was so big at the time that Hogan ripped his ab muscles to pieces slamming him and was out for a few months. The music plays and Heenan and Andre get into the cart that takes them to the back as Heenan has his head in his hands, wondering what just happened. Hogan poses as we close the show with the fans absolutely going nuts.

Rating: A. The match itself is pretty bad but the historical significance is second to absolutely nothing. Now I’ve seen a lot of people (including his majesty Mr. Meltzer) say this was a horrible match and all that jazz. In short: SCREW YOU ALL. Get the sticks out of yourselves and have some fun for once. If you don’t get chills watching the staredown and the slam, then go watch something else.

You have Hogan and Andre who can barely move at all. What are they supposed to do out there? The entire idea here was to have a major showdown and that’s exactly what they did. THis match was epic, still is epic and will always be epic. Anyone that says this wasn’t a great match that did exactly what it was supposed to do is a fool, and i don’t care who I have to argue this with.

Overall Rating: B+. I went back and forth between B+ and A- here. This is the first truly historic Wrestlemania and the first to truly be the spectacle that is has become today. Easily the two biggest matches are the singles title matches that are still incredibly famous today. There’s far less filler than before and the matches have much more solid stories to them.

This show is more famous for its historical aspect than the in ring stuff and that’s just fine. It’s not the best Mania of all time, but it’s up there. Definite recommendation to see this if you never have, or if you just haven’t watched it in awhile, if nothing else just for the history lesson

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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WWF Houston House Show – October 19, 1986: Completely Unacceptable

WWF House Show
Date: October 19, 1986
Location: The Summit, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 1,700
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Ken Resnick

So I’ve been watching a lot of old house shows on the Network as of late so I might as well try throwing some of them on here as well. This is just after The Big Event so Hulk Hogan vs. Paul Orndorff is the hottest feud in the history of ever. That’s on the card tonight, so we should be in for a big one. Let’s get to it.

Note that this is NOT the complete show, which was normal for old TV shows. I’ll fill in the gaps of the missing matches.

Also note that this is listed as taking place at the Sam Houston Coliseum but everything else I can find says the Summit.

We’re skipping Mike Rotundo vs. Jim Brunzell going to a time limit draw (at 13:55) and Bret Hart pinning Ray Rougeau.

The Summit holds about 16,000 so that attendance is horrible.

Brutus Beefcake vs. SD Jones

Jones is a perennial jobber, likely because SD stands for Special Delivery. Brutus struts to start and then does it again for a bonus. After being sent outside, Brutus comes right back in and hammers away to take over. Some elbows to the head in the corner have Jones in more trouble and a middle rope elbow to the head gets two. Jones gets in a few right hands but Brutus is back with the jumping knee for the pin at 5:26.

Rating: D. Yeah what were you expecting here? Beefcake really wasn’t very good at this point and it would take a long time before he turned into something worth seeing. Jones was one of those guys who was always around but didn’t do much, aside from getting squashed by King Kong Bundy at the first Wrestlemania. This was a pretty weak match, but the high knee didn’t look bad.

Skipped: Big John Studd beats Big Machine.

Greg Valentine vs. Steve Gatorwolf

Gatorwolf’s gear looks so much like Chief Jay Strongbow that I was surprised to see who it actually was. The announcers immediately compare him to Strongbow so I’m not as crazy as it seems. Valentine starts fast for a change and drops an elbow before starting in on the arm. Gatorwolf finally armdrags his way to freedom but the arm is so banged up that Valentine wraps it around the top rope.

We hit the armbar for a good bit until Gatorwolf starts fighting back with the chops to the head (because stereotypes die hard). With the arm work exhausted, Valentine starts in on the leg and gets the Figure Four, but Gatorwolf is right next to the rope. A middle rope elbow misses so Valentine grabs a suplex instead for the pin at 8:31.

Rating: D-. This was an extended squash and not a very good one. Valentine is only so interesting in these short form matches and then the ending was rather weird. The Figure Four was on and then it was a suplex just a few seconds later. You can’t have STEVE GATORWOLF give up to a former champion? Gatorwolf wasn’t exactly helping things either, but this wasn’t going to be very entertaining given how things were set up.

Iron Sheik vs. British Bulldog

The British Bulldogs are Tag Team Champions here so they need to build up some challengers. A Nikolai Volkoff distraction lets Sheik get in an early cheap shot and Bulldog is sent outside. Back in and Bulldog hits a slam as Volkoff comes over to commentary, where Monsoon calls him a liar. An armdrag into an armbar has Sheik in more trouble but he gets in a kick to the face.

Some spitting makes things a little more personal and there’s a backdrop for two on Bulldog. Sheik is back with a rather hideous abdominal stretch attempt so Bulldog hiptosses out with ease. That means a USA chant because of course but Sheik takes Bulldog down again. The camel clutch goes on but Bulldog is too close to the rope. The running powerslam only gives Bulldog one (!) but Volkoff pulls Bulldog’s leg for the DQ at 6:05.

Rating: D. The abdominal stretch alone set this one back and I’m not sure how much worse it can get. More bad wrestling here as neither was exactly the kind of guy you expect to take control at this point. Bulldog was the power half of a tag team and Sheik was so out there that you wouldn’t likely be able to trust him to do much. Another bad match, which isn’t much of a surprise at this point.

Post match the beatdown is on but Dynamite Kid runs in for the fast save.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Paul Orndorff

Hogan is defending and can lose the title via DQ. This was the biggest feud in the world at this point and Orndorff, with Bobby Heenan, even stole Real American in an idea that I would love to see used again. Orndorff jumps Hogan (in a dark gray Hulkamania shirt for a change) and they start fast. Hulk fights back with right hands so Orndorff goes for the throat to cut that off in a hurry. With nothing else working, Hogan grabs a VERY early chair but realizes he can’t use it, instead going with a right hand to the face.

The Heenan distraction lets Orndorff get in a knee to the back and Hogan is out on the floor. Back in and Orndorff stomps away, followed by some choking with the leg for a bonus. The backbreaker gets two but it also triggers the Hulk Up as things get serious. A slam sets up the legdrop….for no cover, as Hogan sends him outside instead. The referee again says no chair so they head back inside, where the big boot sends Orndorff to the floor again. Heenan isn’t happy so he yells at the referee, allowing Hogan to hit Orndorff with the chair for the countout win at 6:07.

Rating: D. They even made a Hogan match boring on this show! This was barely anything of note and Hogan was a total villain with the chair stuff. I know he was angry at Orndorff but it was the usual Hogan does bad things and gets cheered anyway. Well as cheered as he can be by such a tiny crowd.

Yelling ensues post match and Hogan gives a rather crude gesture.

We skip Nikolai Volkoff beating Tama and Dynamite Kid pinning Moondog Rex. Those wouldn’t be likely to be the show’s saviors.

Tag Team Battle Royal

Moondogs, Hart Foundation, Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff, Dream Team, King Kong Bundy/Big John Studd, Machines, Rougeau Brothers, Killer Bees, SD Jones/Mike Rotundo, Islanders, Steve Gatorwolf/Chief Jay Strongbow, British Bulldogs

Non-title, the winners get $50,000 and if one member is out, the team is out. Studd is out in less than ten seconds so it’s time for everyone else to brawl. Jones and Rotundo are put out and Jim Brunzell has to save himself. Strongbow and the worthless Gatorwolf are eliminated, followed by the Harts and Rougeaus eliminating each other. The ring is starting to clear out a bit and the Machines follow them out.

Sheik gets rid of the Moon Dogs as the Bulldogs step back to let everyone else brawl (hence them being the champions). The Islanders get rid of the Dream Team and then the Bulldogs put them out as well. So we’re down to the Bulldogs vs. Studd/Sheik, meaning it’s time to pair off. Bulldog hammers away and suplexes Sheik but it’s too early for the elimination. Instead Volkoff gets in a cheap shot to elimination Bulldog for the win at 9:10.

Rating: D-. I’m not a big battle royal guy but this was boring by any standard. It’s like they just threw everyone in there and hoped for the best, even with little time and nothing more than a way to set up a future title match. If nothing else, look at this lineup and tell me how THIS is the best usage of all of these teams.

Overall Rating: F. Wow what a waste of time and this was the hour long version. There was no effort being put in here by anyone and they were having a show because they had to put one on. Maybe it was the tiny crowd, but this was a bunch of nothing matches and then a token Hogan vs. Orndorff match. This was one of the worst house shows I’ve ever seen and given the talent available here, that’s unacceptable.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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UWF Blackjack Brawl: This Shouldn’t Happen In America

Blackjack Brawl
Date: September 23, 1994
Location: MGM Grand Garden Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 900
Commentators: John Tolos, Carlo Gianelli

So a few months ago I looked at the UWF’s Beach Brawl, which was a special event from one of the more infamously lame promotions: Herb Abrams’ Universal Wrestling Federation. Now it’s time to look at the followup, which is over three years later and not on pay per view. It’s an eleven match card and nine are title matches, with five of those being to crown inaugural champions. This is going to be a really, really long night. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence, with the rather over the top introduction from Abrams and some clips from a press conference.

Abrams is in the ring to shout an introduction, with commentary talking over him. He brings Blackjack Mulligan to the ring to hype up the show and promises a lot of big stuff tonight.

Commentary welcomes us to the show.

We have a celebrity guest ring announcer with Steve Rossi (apparently he was on the Howard Stern Show at least once). After some audio issues, he introduces the Nevada Athletic Commission and brings out Dan Spivey. Rossi: “He’ll show you some wrestling tonight.”

Americas Championship: Dan Spivey vs. Johnny Ace

For the inaugural title (which is not mentioned until a few minutes into the match) and Ace has Missy Hyatt with him. Rossi has to beg the fans to cheer during the introductions and I think you know how this night is going to go. It doesn’t help that the arena (holds about 17,000) is embarrassingly empty. Commentary: “Who cares about these wrestlers when you have Missy Hyatt?”

Ace rolls him up for two and Spivey bails to the apron. Back n and Spivey hammers away, only for Ace to come back with a middle rope crossbody. A dropkick puts Spivey on the floor where he kicks a few things around. Back in and Ace stomps away (Tolos: “That would kill a normal man!”) before grabbing a chinlock. Spivey suplexes his way to freedom as I try to figure out who I’m supposed to cheer for here. A backbreaker gives Spivey two and a Russian legsweep gets the same.

Ace is back up with a top rope clothesline for two but Spivey grabs a DDT for three. Well I mean the referee slapped the mat three times but calls it two anyway, as I guess counting doesn’t work around here either. We look at Missy Hyatt for a second and come back with Spivey hitting what looked like a Boss Man Slam. The abdominal stretch goes on before Spivey slams him back down for two off a legdrop. Spivey grabs it again and Hyatt turns on Ace by throwing in the towel to give Spivey the win and the title at 7:18.

Rating: D. Just think for a second: of the eleven match card that they have planned, THIS is what they felt was the best way to get things going. I’ve said this already but it bears repeating: we are in for a really, really long night. Vince Russo unnecessary screwy finish aside, the match was rather lame as they were just doing moves to each other with no story, build, flow or anything. But at least the manager turned on Ace during their first time together so….development?

Post match Spivey grabs Abrams until Ace chases him off. Abrams yells at Spivey (Abrams: “You’re a double cheating cross!”), who leaves with Hyatt.

We go to a break, with commentary being heard talking to production, just in case you thought this could be competent for more than three seconds.

Post break, commentary cuts out, then Ginaelli slips up by saying Ace won the match.

We talk about the Junior Heavyweight title, featuring Mando “Gareo”. They’ll be right “black” after this break.

Junior Heavyweight Title: Mando Guerrero vs. Jack Armstrong

For the inaugural title and at least Rossi gets Guerrero’s (who comes out to an actual WEIRD AL song) name right. Jack (called Wildman in the graphic and Wildcat during his introductions) looks great and has been wrestling for….THIRTY ONE YEARS??? Granted this is his first match in about four years but when you debut in 1963 and are still wrestling in 1994, I’m a good bit impressed. Odds are that’s going to be the only impressive thing here but still not bad. Gianelli still can’t pronounce Guerrero as he sits on the corner while Armstrong poses.

They run the ropes to start and Mando dropkicks him out to the floor. Back in and Mando grabs an armdrag into an armbar but they’re right back to the floor to get the brawling going. Mando knocks him into the barricade and hits an Asai moonsault, sending Tolos into as close to shock as you’re getting around here. Back in and Mando gets two off a spinebuster as we’re told that this is the first of three Blackjack Brawls planned. Uh, yeah. Anyway Mando misses a moonsault and Jack drops two elbows for the pin and the title at 4:41.

Rating: D+. Well it was better than the previous one, but again it is very clear that they are not putting even the slightest bit of thought into all of these title matches. There was no mention of the title here and Mando dominated until the end when Armstrong picked up the fluke win. Armstrong had a good physique but this was the last match of his career.

Post match, Abrams gets in the ring to say he isn’t pleased with the winner, but at least Armstrong got busted open a bit.

Dr. Feelgood says he’ll win.

SportsChannel Television Title: Dr. Feelgood vs. Sunny Beach

For the vacant title and Missy Hyatt is here with Feelgood. There’s even a theme here as Feelgood has a doctor’s bag and Missy has a stethoscope. Beach takes him down by the arm to start and then armdrags him into an armbar to mix it up a bit. They switch it to a chinlock for a bit before Feelgood is back with some back rakes. Missy gets in a shoe shot to the head, sending Tolos into a speech about how gorgeous she is.

Beach comes back with some right hands and a sunset flip for two, only to get clotheslined down. A backbreaker gives Feelgood two and he plants Beach with a DDT (which commentary describes as “another great professional wrestling move”). Hold on though as Feelgood goes to his medical bag and pulls out a rag. He pours some liquid onto the rag, only to have Beach shove it into his face for the win at 5:27. The referee watched EVERY BIT OF THIS and doesn’t seem to mind. Can you really blame him?

Rating: F. Sweet goodness it’s actually getting worse. What are you supposed to do when the referee just lets the doctor use I’m guessing ether on the surfer? The match is a failure for the refereeing alone and I’m almost scared to see how bad this show gets as we keep going. Terrible match with an even worse ending.

Post match Feelgood takes Beach down with the rag as Missy screams a lot. Blackjack Mulligan comes in to yell, with Feelgood calling him various cowboy insults.

BUY MERCH! That has to be some kind of a collector’s item. Sid walks in and says something about Nolan Ryan signed baseballs.

Herb Abrams talks about Commissioner Bruno Sammartino….who isn’t here tonight! Abrams has Blackjack Mulligan talk about what else is coming tonight. Mulligan: “These other promotions won’t even touch these guys!” Steve Williams would destroy Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair and Bret Hart!

Southern States Title: Bob Orton Jr. vs. Finland Hellraiser Thor

Believe it or not, Orton actually is the champion coming in and Thor is better known as Ludvig Borga. Orton grabs a headlock to start but gets shoved away by raw power. More power sends Orton into the corner and this time Thor hammers away with shots to the ribs. There’s a side slam to plant Orton again and we hit the chinlock with a knee in the back. Commentary uses the time to discuss who really discovered America as Orton comes back with some shots to the face. Thor backdrops him over the top to counter a piledriver attempt and they fight on the floor for the double DQ at 5:29.

Rating: D. And somehow, that’s in the running for the best match of the night, just due to the people involved if nothing else. Thor is fresh off his time with the WWF and it isn’t a good sign when he is looking like a knockoff version of himself. Orton was pretty far past his prime already but his own talent is enough to carry him pretty far. Not far enough to save this show, but at least they picked things up a tiny bit over the previous match.

They brawl even more post match, showing more fire than anything else on the show. Thor bails and Orton’s eye is busted open, so the ring announcer asks the fans to cheer for him about five times. Orton goes on a rant about how he fights like an American, with all of the values that are falling apart every day.

Midget World Title: Karate Kid vs. Little Tokyo

For the inaugural title and this is FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER. The ring announcer is practically begging the fans to cheer for this as things are falling apart before the bell. Tokyo bails from the threat of Kid’s kicks and shoulders him down. A hiptoss drops Tokyo, who glares out of the corner. The armbar doesn’t last long on Kid as the referee yells at Tokyo again. The crisscross is on, with Kid stopping so Tokyo runs around on his own. After the annoyance is over, Tokyo’s armbar doesn’t work all over again. They fight over a test of strength on the mat, allowing Tokyo to yell at the referee some more.

It’s time to dance a bit until Kid gets a quick one. Hold on though as Tokyo yells at the referee AGAIN, followed by a poke to Kid’s eyes. Kid is fine enough to slap on a full nelson, with Tokyo climbing the ropes for the break, only to be dropped straight down for a slight chuckle. Tokyo avoids a dropkick though and Kid….runs into him, allowing Tokyo to get the pin and the title at 7:36.

Rating: D. Yes they gave this the most time of anything so far tonight and while it could have been worse, this was almost the cherry on the sundae of horrible ideas. This felt like it belonged in 1984 or so, and given how many things that could apply to on this show, it seems that things are kind of going badly around here. In other words, this is reaching torture levels all over again.

Post match Abrams and Tokyo have a language barrier. How many times do we need to see him and his yellow coat tonight???

Here’s the same merchandise ad from before the previous match.

Sid says….something that audio doesn’t pick up for the most part but it sounds like he’s coming for Steve Williams and the World Title.

Samson vs. Irish Assassin

They’re both in good shape and Samson is replacing Hercules. This is billed as a REVENGE match, though they don’t actually explain what the revenge is for. They have the lamest lockup I can remember in a long time and Samson’s running shoulder bounces off of the Assassin. A running clothesline in the corner hits Samson as commentary recaps Little Tokyo winning the title. Samson avoids an elbow as Tolos talks about making Gianelli a better commentator. A slam and a suplex give Samson the pin at 4:45.

Rating: F. Sweet goodness man. I don’t remember the last time I saw a show this….lifeless. When you consider that I can’t find anything about Samson and Assassin was a nothing name, I’m not sure why in the world I’m supposed to care about revenge, when THEY DIDN’T SAY WHY THESE TWO ARE FIGHTING. The company isn’t running anything else at the moment, so how many places could they set up something like this? I’m being more and more dumbfounded by this show every match and it wasn’t a high bar to start things off.

CALL THE HOTLINE!

Steve Ray thinks Tyler Mane is tall but he doesn’t have any heart.

MGM Grand Title: Steve Ray vs. Tyler Mane

For the inaugural title. Mane dabbled in WCW for a bit but is far more famous as Sabretooth in the first series of X-Men movies. Granted the pelt with a lion’s head over his stomach is rather noteworthy in its own right. Ray is the Wild Thing and seems to be something like a rock star/Lionheart Chris Jericho type. After Ray makes sure his jacket is taken care of, we’re ready to go with commentary comparing Mane to Big John Studd. An armdrag and clothesline put Mane on the floor but he’s back in to slam his way out of a crossbody attempt.

Ray is fine enough to start in on the leg and the cranking ensues. We pause for a second so the referee can check on the knee, allowing Mane to get in a cheap shot and take over. A chokeslam (not named because….it’s such a complicated concept I guess) plants Ray but he’s back back with a grab of the leg. Mane low bridges him to the floor so Ray tries a sunset flip, only to have Mane sit down on it while grabbing the rope (again, right in front of the referee) for the pin and the title at 6:26.

Rating: D. Again, it says a lot when this is the kind of match that is near the high point of the show. It was a big man vs. small man match with Ray trying to have some energy but not being able to deal with the power. Now that being said, the horrible refereeing at the end hurt it a lot, and it’s not like this show has any benefit of the doubt. Another bad match on the show, which is completely beyond saving in case that wasn’t clear yet.

Post match Abrams presents Mane with the title. Mane, who is taller than Mulligan, says the fat lady just sung on Ray. True actually, as this was his last match for both guys.

Women’s Title: Candy Divine vs. Tina Moretti

For the vacant title and Moretti is better known as Ivory. The pre-match gaffe is on the announcer, as he introduces Divine (yes DIVINE, which is not the hardest word to read, pronounce, spell or understand) as Candy Devian. That’s another level of bad and as a result it fits in perfectly here. Even commentary blasts him for that screwup. Divine popped up in various promotions and was one of the bigger names of her time for outside the WWF. Moretti is billed from Italy, which is rather odd after listening to Ivory for years.

Commentary is all about how the women look as Divine is dropkicked to the floor to start but they switch places in a hurry. Back in and Divine works on an armbar but gets rolled up for a fast two. Divine fights up and chokes in the corner, which Tolos calls a good wrestling move. Moretti gets slammed out of the corner and Divine gets the pin and the title at 3:11.

Rating: D-. I’m not sure what happened there but it was an abrupt ending to an already bad match. Women’s wrestling was absolutely nothing in America at this point so you can’t get too annoyed. Also given how bad some of the things on this show have been, a three minute match is hard to get annoyed over. Take that for what you will.

Post match, the announcer says Devian for the fifth time.

Steve Williams is standing in front of a cutout of himself and says he respects Sid Vicious. He can’t get Hulk Hogan or Ric Flair on the phone but he’ll face Sid tonight. Really not the image you want to present but that’s the least of their problems.

Tag Team Titles: Killer Bees vs. The New Powers Of Pain

For the inaugural titles and that would be Warlord/Power Warrior, the latter being a guy who didn’t do much in his career. Announcer: “And we have a battle royal coming up.” No, we don’t, thank goodness. Blair (who apparently has a great gym) starts with Warrior, who shoves him away without much effort. An armbar has no effect on Warrior and Blair is starting to look a little unsure.

We get a quick recap of some of the things that have happened tonight, which makes me feel better about forgetting them. Brunzell comes in for a double hiptoss but Warlord comes in with a bearhug. That doesn’t last long so Warlord has to slam his way out of an armbar. Warrior comes back in and gets taken down by the leg in a hurry because he isn’t the worker that the Warlord is. Blair stays on the leg but Warrior kicks him into the ropes so Warlord can low bridge him to the floor.

The bearhug goes on back inside but Blair is out in a hurry, allowing the hot tag to Brunzell to take over on Warrior. A catapult into a top rope clothesline drops Warrior as the referee is knocked outside. Cue someone who looks like Warrior (his other brother in the Power Twins) for a full nelson on Blair. Warlord goes up….and we cut to Brunzell throwing the referee back in and we come back to Blair covering Warrior for the pin and the titles at 11:50.

Rating: D. They were having a better match than usual (for this show at least) until the ending, which we didn’t actually get to see. Let me repeat that: you couldn’t actually see the part of the match that actually mattered in any way. Throw in that one of the villains had an evil twin and they managed to lose anyway and I think you know all you need to know about this one.

Jimmy Snuka says there are no two pieces of matter that can occupy the same space at the same time. I’m not sure what that has to do with anything but he says he’s going to fly.

Merch plug, the threequel.

Jimmy Snuka vs. Cactus Jack

Lumberjack match, so the ring announcer says “our next match is for the lumberjack match.” Oh and Cactus Jack is “a mean guy”. Announcer: “You’re going to see a battle royal.” Can we get him to stop saying that or at least find out what it means? Pretty much everyone else on the show so far are the lumberjacks, who get a round of applause of their own and their own individual introductions. Jack shakes his hand and grabs a headlock as we hear about Jack losing his ear.

Snuka reverses into one of his own, which really, really impresses Tolos for some reason. A shoulder puts Jack down as the announcers are talking about bets on the match. Jack knees him in the ribs to send things outside for a bit but makes the mistake of headbutting Snuka. That’s enough to send Jack to the floor but he’s sent back inside as Herb Abrams comes to commentary to talk about how great this is.

The brawl goes over to the commentary table (Gianelli: “THIS SHOULDN’T HAPPEN IN AMERICA!”) but the fight back inside where Jack grabs a chinlock. Back up and Snuka tries a shoulder, only to bounce off of Jack and over the top. They fight into the crowd with Snuka hitting him in the head with a chair….and that’s a double DQ at 9:03. Yes in a lumberjack. Announcer: “I’ve never seen anything like this!” There’s a reason for that man.

Rating: F. Mick Foley is my favorite wrestler of all time and probably always will be. I know it means the world to him to be in the ring with his idol in Snuka, but they had a double DQ in a freaking lumberjack match after nine other matches on this show. In this case, you kind of can blame him because, as a huge Snuka fan, he refused to let Snuka lose to him here so this was the best they had. Points for the respect but….dang man.

Post match they keep brawling into the empty chairs, which is about as dumb of an idea as you can have in any situation.

Herb Abrams shouts that this is the main event, thank goodness.

UWF World Title: Sid Vicious vs. Steve Williams

Williams is defending. Announcer: “It’s time to get rocking and rolling. And I’m getting out of here.” They trade shoulders to start as we hear about Williams being the All Japan Triple Crown Champion. Sid kicks him in the face for a knockdown and it’s time to crank on Williams’ arms. Williams can’t quite reverse so he goes to the ropes for the break instead. Tolos does his best Jim Ross impression to list off all of Williams’ accomplishments as the announcers treat this like the greatest thing they have ever seen.

A chokeslam plants Williams and Sid whips him hard into the corner. Tolos: “If they went into the New York Stock Market, do you think their stock would go up overnight???” Gianelli: “I don’t know.” Sid gets two off a slam and we’re off to the chinlock. They even lay down a bit as this has already been a bit much for them.

Williams fights up and slugs away….as the mat starts coming up like there’s a bubble inside, because OF FREAKING COURSE IT DOES! Williams hits a splash in the corner for two but misses a middle rope shoulder. Sid goes up top (oh boy) but Williams backdrops him down and hits the Doctor Bomb, drawing in Dan Spivey for the DQ at 11:02.

Rating: D-. They were having a watchable power match until the ending but my goodness man. THE RING wanted out of this show and was giving up by the end. It could have been a lot worse but the ending didn’t help anything and teasing a rematch on this show was as dumb as it could have been. Not the worst match on the show, but a perfect way to end things.

Post match the beatdown is on with Williams being double powerbombed. Johnny Ace comes in for the save.

Post break, Abrams asks if Williams will defend the title against Sid in a cage. Williams says he’ll sign a contract if Abrams gets one together before he leaves.

Merch plug, featuring the now dastardly Sid.

Abrams yells at Sid and Spivey, with the former blaming Blackjack Mulligan for being his mentor.

Commentary says next time will be even more treacherous.

Since this show just can’t end, Abrams and Mulligan (who has the World Title for some reason) talks about how this was a Skyscrapers (Sid/Spivey) plan all along. Abrams promises (or maybe warns) us about a sequel to end the show.

Overall Rating: Awbooga. That’s how Abrams, legendary cocaine addict that he was, would probably try to spell wrestling at this point, because WOW. This is one of the all time insane shows that you almost have to see to believe. There is nothing approaching good, nothing approaching normal, and nothing approaching ANYTHING that should be taking place in 1994 on this show.

I know Abrams was kind of a kook (that’s putting it mildly) but sweet goodness this was awful, with one random title match after another and nothing even partially good. The people here are talented wrestlers, or at least they were a few years earlier when they were still regularly wrestling and not ancient in some cases. It’s not the complete train wreck of something like Heroes of Wrestling, but with a barely there (and barely audible) crowd, the disaster on commentary and ring announcing and such low level wrestling, this is a complete mess and something just more depressing than anything else.

The biggest problem here is the wrestling, as they seem to think that any of this stuff matters just because you throw a title or the REVENGE MATCH moniker onto a match. It doesn’t help if there are no stakes to the title or reasons for these people to be fighting and it showed badly. All time awful show, and now I’m off to have nightmares of Abrams screaming in my face while Mulligan is there every time for no apparent reason other than he’s been paid in advance. Avoid this one unless you’re in for a train wreck of Star Fox 64 Forever Train level proportions.

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