Impact Wrestling – June 22, 2023: Please Don’t Do This

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 22, 2023
Location: Ohio Expo Center, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

Things took a turn last week when #1 contender Nick Aldis laid out World Champion Alex Shelley. This adds quite the wrinkle to their upcoming Slammiversary title match and I’m curious to see how all of that goes. Other than that, Scott D’Amore is ready to get his hands on Bully Ray next month. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

OVE vs. Good Hands/Brian Myers

Before the match, Skyler says OVE stands for Ohio vs. Everything. Well he’ll take everything from tooth decay to an IRS audit over Ohio. Crist kicks Skyler down to start and hands it off to Callihan for a double spinebuster. Fulton comes in for a double chokeslam/World’s Strongest Slam combination (that was cool) to take the villains down.

A Myers distraction takes Crist down though and the Good Hands drop a double elbow for two. Myers comes in with a suplex for one and we hit the chinlock. Crist fights up so Skyler comes back in for a slam to cut it off again. A forearm finally gives Crist a breather and he nips up for the tag off to Callihan. Cue Moose to crotch Crist on top so Callihan and Fulton go after him. The distraction lets Myers hit the Roster Cut for the pin at 5:40.

Rating: C+. Rather formula based match here and the ending helps establish Moose and Myers as a team who could be something down the line. OVE feels almost like a blast from the past but they’re good enough for a spot like this. As long as they’re away from the Design, it’s kind of hard to complain that much.

Eddie Edwards comes up to talk to Frankie Kazarian and says Frankie can trust him tonight in their tag match. Kazarian doesn’t quite buy that so Eddie asks what he has to do. Eddie doesn’t need to worry about it but he swears on the grave of Killer Kowalski that he won’t do anything to Kazarian. That’s enough for Frankie, but he doesn’t seem completely convinced.

Sami Callihan is livid when Rich Swann comes up to him in the back. Callihan wants to know where Swann was and Swann says he was busy at Against All Odds. From now on, Swann has his back as his top priority. Callihan approves.

Here is Dirty Dango for a chat. Dango: “Man do I hate professional wrestling.” And that’s it before his match.

Dirty Dango vs. Bhupinder Gujjar

Dango shoulders him over to start and dances a bit, allowing Gujjar to come back up with a shoulder. Some dropkicks put Dango on the floor for a slingshot dive but the Gargoyle spear misses back inside. Dango hits a layout reverse DDT for the pin at 2:00.

Post match Dango grabs a phone and says something we can’t hear. Cue Santino Marella, with Gujjar sending Dango inside for the Cobra.

The Death Dollz run into the returning Nevaeh and aren’t sure if they should trust her. They don’t have much of a choice though, and it’s time to learn the parts of the story they don’t know. Courtney Rush loves an origin story….so the Dollz runs off without her.

Zicky Dice passes his test to become an official referee. The referee giving him his test treats it as a serious deal but Johnny Swinger gets rid of him. Swinger flat out says this is so he can cheat to get his fifty wins.

Mike Bailey/Jonathan Gresham vs. The Design

Gresham comes in off a very early blind tag to dropkick Angels in the back, allowing Bailey to kick him in the face. Kon comes in to wreck both of them though and Angels adds a half and half suplex. We take a break and come back with Gresham getting away to bring Bailey back in for the kicks to Kon. The bouncing kicks set up the kick to the head and a missile dropkick puts Kon down instead.

Kon is fine enough to muscle Bailey up from the mat for a slam though and the Design takes right back over. That doesn’t last long as Gresham comes in for the save, allowing Bailey to armbreaker Angels. With that broken up, Bailey moonsaults onto Kon on the floor. Back in and Bailey gets caught in a super Spanish Fly, but Deaner stops to yell at Angels. The distraction causes Angels to miss his frog splash, allowing Bailey to hit the tornado kick. The Ultimate Weapon finishes Angels at 9:28.

Rating: C+. This match did one important thing and that is getting us closer to the destruction of the Design. The team has LONG outlived its usefulness (which wasn’t much in the first place) and now they finally seem to be going away. Gresham and Bailey were good enough as a team, but I don’t need them becoming the next dream team to go after the titles.

Flashback Moment Of The Week: Magnus (Nick Aldis) beats Jeff Hardy in the Dixieland match to win the World Title on December 18, 2013.

Gisele Shaw and Gail Kim are going to be on the Amazing Race: Canada. We don’t have any clips or anything similar to hype it up, but it’s true.

Trinity isn’t happy with Gisele Shaw getting a Knockouts Title shot on the upcoming Australian tour but she’s fine with the Slammiversary match being a triple threat if it has to be. For now though, she’ll beat up Jai Vidal next week instead.

Nick Aldis has sent in a statement saying he won’t be here tonight due to fear of his own safety. Alex Shelley comes in and doesn’t buy it, saying he wants Aldis here. Aldis will be here next week so Shelley leaves, only to come back with a superkick when interviewer Jimmy Jacobs runs his mouth too much.

Taylor Wilde vs. Killer Kelly

Feeling out process to start and Kelly seems pleased with the thought of violence. A shot to the throat and a pump kick give Kelly two and a running kick to the chest drops Wilde again. King low bridges Kelly to the floor though and Wilde gets to kick away back inside. The surfboard goes on but is broken up just as fast, allowing Kelly to suplex her into the corner. They fight over a rollup for two each until Kelly pulls her into the Killer Klutch. That’s broken up as well so Kelly grabs a rollup for the pin at 5:08.

Rating: C. Nice back and forth match with Kelly getting a win for a change. I could go for her getting a stronger push as she has felt like someone who could go a lot higher rather quickly. For now at least she is getting a win and if she can find a partner, we could have some fresh challengers for the Knockouts Tag Team Titles. They certainly could use some new challengers so that’s certainly an idea.

Post match the beatdown is on but Masha Slamovich comes in to save Kelly. The villains bail and Kelly seems to approve.

We recap Scott D’Amore attacking Bully Ray last week, setting up the tag match with PCO and Steve Maclin at Slammiversary.

D’Amore says he is no longer the president so he takes off the fancy stuff before saying he isn’t what he once was. His prime, if he had one, wasn’t as good as Ray or Maclin, but he coached a lot of people over the years and is a five time Canadian Heavyweight Champion. He’ll break any rule or cross any line, and since he brought Ray into this company, it’s time he took him out. The sleeves are rolled up and now he’s ready for war. Good promo here, as D’Amore sounds like a man who has to do something.

Here is Joe Hendry to say….extraterrestrials have made contact with Earth. It makes sense to do it now because he is Digital Media Champion. Those aliens are trying to say the two most important words: WE BELIEVE.

Digital Media Title: Joe Hendry vs. Yuya Uemura

Hendry is defending and here are Kenny King and Sheldon Jean to interrupt. The former sits in on commentary as Hendry works on a headlock. Some armdrags have Hendry down, causing him to bow in respect. We take a break and come back with the camera on King before looking at Uemura fighting out of a chinlock. A belly to back suplex gives Uemura two but Hendry is back up to strike it out. Hendry rolls through a high crossbody and it’s the Standing Ovation to retain the title at 9:07.

Rating: C. This didn’t have time to get very far as the break and then the camera sitting on King didn’t do it any favors. King vs. Hendry is fine for a likely title feud and it wouldn’t shock me to see King get the title. At some point he has to win something new and the Digital Media Title would work well. As for Uemura, he continues to be a completely fine hand in the ring, though he needs to actually win a few matches at some point before the impact fades.

Slammiversary and Australian shows rundown.

Bully Ray/Steve Maclin vs. Frankie Kazarian/Eddie Edwards

Alisha Edwards is here with Kazarian/Eddie. Maclin and Eddie start things off with Maclin dropping him off a running elbow. Eddie is fine enough to pull him over for a slingshot legdrop from Kazarian. Maclin sends him into the corner where Ray crotches Kazarian against the post and we take a break.

Back with Kazarian being knocked into the corner again as the slow being is on. A suplex gives Maclin two and we hit the reverse chinlock. With that broken up, Eddie comes back in to chop away and a double suplex drops Ray. Eddie’s suicide dive hits Ray and Kazarian’s slingshot hurricanrana takes Maclin down on the floor. Back in and Maclin knocks Eddie to the floor where Ray grabs a chair. Instead Ray chases Alisha off and it’s Maclin chinlocking Eddie again.

An Irish Curse gives Maclin two and Ray comes back in to punch him down. Eddie gets up and crossbodies Maclin for a double knockdown. The tag brings in Kazarian to pick up the pace as everything breaks down. Kazarian drops Maclin for two as Eddie and Ray come in (sans tags) to rake each others’ eyes. Ray shoves Eddie into Kazarian, who is right back with the chickenwing. Eddie is back up and accidentally superkicks Kazarian, allowing Maclin and Ray to hit a belly to back neckbreaker for the pin at 15:31.

Rating: B-. Nice enough main event here, and I kind of like having the teams who don’t like each other not being able to win their first match against each a team of former World Champions. Eddie vs. Kazarian should be a fun match at Slammiversary assuming that is the way they go. Other than that, we had a back and forth match with the action doing well, though it never quite got to that next level.

The winners are happy and the losers aren’t to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The main event helped but this show wasn’t quite up to the standards of the usual stuff they do around here. Slammiversary is about three weeks away and you can see a lot of the card from here, though that doesn’t make it the most interesting. The lack of Aldis after last week’s big turn didn’t help either and it wasn’t the most interesting offering as a result. It’s not bad, but more of a skippable show than usual this week.

Results
Brian Myers/Good Hands b. OVE – Roster Cut to Crist
Dirty Dango b. Bhupinder Gujjar – Layout reverse DDT
Jonathan Gresham/Mike Bailey b. The Design – Ultimate Weapon to Angels
Killer Kelly b. Taylor Wilde – Rollup
Joe Hendry b. Yuya Uemura – Standing Ovation
Bully Ray/Steve Maclin b. Frankie Kazarian/Eddie Edwards – Belly to back neckbreaker to Kazarian

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – June 1, 2023: I Don’t Know If I Can Say That Anymore

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 1, 2023
Location: Western Fair District Agriplex, London, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

It’s the first show after Under Siege and a lot of things took place at the show. First and foremost, Steve Maclin retained the World Title by defending PCO but Bully Ray attacked Scott D’Amore to end the show, even putting him through a flaming table. Other than that, we have a new #1 contender in the form of Alex Shelley, who will get a World Title shot at Against All Odds. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Under Siege recap.

Here is Bully Ray to get things going and no one is happy to see him. He has been putting people through tables throughout his career and no one is better at it in wrestling history. We hear about some of the people who he has put through them over the years, but the really bad ones are the people he puts through flaming tables. That’s what he did to Scott D’Amore and there is no one here to stop him.

Now it is on to Against All Odds, where he can become #1 contender and then to Slammiversary to win the World Title. Cue World Champion Steve Maclin to interrupt to say he liked what happened to D’Amore. What Bully needs to understand though is Maclin allowed Ray to hurt D’Amore like that. Ray tells him to shut up and says no one tells him what he can do….but then backtracks and says Maclin is the World Champion and can do what he wants. Maclin proposes a partnership, but he’s also cool with the idea of beating Ray at Slammiversary if he has to.

Cue the Motor City Machine Guns to interrupt, with Alex Shelley saying he’s leaving Against All Odds with the World Title. Ray says that usually he would rip Shelley apart on the might but the reality is that Shelley is one of the best in the world. He has seen wrestlers in the locker room watching Shelley matches, but Shelley must be bothered by never winning the big one.

Chris Sabin brings up beating Ray for the World Title but Maclin cuts him off to yell at Shelley for the lack of respect. Shelley says “yep” when asked if he thinks he can win the title but Maclin asks why it will be different this time. Shelley says it’s because Maclin is no Josh Alexander, which makes Ray laugh. That doesn’t make sense to Shelley, because Alexander beat Ray too. We finally get the challenge for the tag match tonight and Ray likes the idea….but not tonight.

Cue Subculture (Mark Andrews/Flash Morgan Webster/Dani Luna, formerly of NXT UK) as this segment is somehow still going. Subculture wants to face the Guns tonight and that match is on. This was nearly twenty minutes long and felt WAY out of place on an Impact show, especially when the only match made was from people who popped up at the end. I know they don’t have much time before Against All Odds but please don’t let this WWE style segment become normal around here.

Nick Aldis feels dangerous when he is in a nice suit like this but he feels all the more dangerous when he has momentum behind him. He praises Kenny King for a great match at Under Siege and King will be even more ready whenever they face off again. As for Against All Odds, Aldis is ready for the 8-4-1 match (starts off as an eight man tag, with the winning team immediately having a four way to crown a new #1 contender) because he’ll have to adapt, which is what he does best. Then he’s winning the World Title.

Eddie Edwards vs. Yuya Uemura

Alisha Edwards is here with Eddie. Feeling out process to start with Uemura grabbing an armdrag into an armbar. Back up and Eddie takes him into the corner for some chops, only to have a forearm knock Eddie outside. The slingshot dive drops Eddie again though and we take a break. Back with Uemura fighting out of a chinlock but getting taken right back down.

This time Uemura fights up with a running clothesline and a belly to back suplex gets two. Edwards tries a double underhook but gets backdropped away, only to have Alisha distract Uemura on the top. That means a superplex can bring Uemura back down but Uemura cuts off the Boston Knee Party with a dropkick. The swinging Rock Bottom sets up a high crossbody, which is kneed out of the air. The tiger driver gives Edwards two and the Boston Knee Party finally finishes Uemura at 13:30.

Rating: B. They had a good match here as Uemura continues to get better and better every week. Commentary is right when they say that he needs a big win, but I’m not sure how much longer he is going to be here on excursion in the first place. If that’s the case, just how far does Impact want to push him? For now, I guess they’ll have to settle for a good hand who can work well with anyone.

Post match Eddie teases respect but pulls away from the handshake. Cue Frankie Kazarian to say that isn’t how we do this around here and the fight is on, with Eddie being dropped. Alisha tries to jump on Frankie and is dropped as well, allowing Kazarian to leave.

Decay vs. Sami Callihan/Jake Crist

Crist bites Steve to start and hands it off to Callihan, only to have Taurus come in and clear the ring. That’s not enough for Taurus, who throws Steve over the top onto both of them. Back in and Crist starts firing off superkicks for a breather, followed by putting Steve on Taurus’ shoulders. Callihan puts Crist on his own shoulders for a cutter to Steve and the pin at 1:35. Cool finisher and dang that went fast.

Post match here is the Design to lay out Crist and Callihan. Rich Swann makes the save.

Post break, Swann, Crist and Callihan are ready for Against All Odds….but Swann already has a spot in the 8-4-1 match. Callihan and Crist understand so they can find someone else. Callihan says the doctor is going to have to call the fox.

Trinity vs. Savannah Evans

Jai Vidal and Gisele Shaw are here with Evans. Trinity grabs a waistlock to start and gets backed into the corner for her efforts. A headlock takeover doesn’t work for Trinity so she forearms away in the corner. Evans plants her with a powerbomb for two and Trinity is in trouble. Back in and Trinity gets smart by hitting a springboard kick to the face to put Evans down. A side slam cuts Trinity off but she pulls Evans into the reverse Rings of Saturn for the tap at 4:33.

Rating: C+. Evans continues to work as a monster but that is only going to have so much impact if she keeps losing all the time. Trinity is someone who is probably going to wind up being near the top of the division sooner rather than later so her winning here makes all of the sense. They went back and forth here for a few minutes but ultimately, Trinity winning was the only option.

Post match Trinity gets the mic and says she wants the Knockouts Title. Cue Deonna Purrazzo to say ask her to her face. Trinity issues the challenge for Slammiversary and Purrazzo is in. Shaw, Evans and Vidal are up for the beatdown though, only to have Jordynne Grace come in for the save. That doesn’t exactly work though as she is beaten down as well, setting up a pair of knees from Shaw.

Dani Luna vs. Jody Threat

Dani Luna is part of Subculture, who are here with her. Threat headlocks her over to start but Luna does the exact same. Luna powers her into the corner but gets sunset flipped for two. Threat knocks her back down and scores with a heck of a Cactus Clothesline. Threat’s running flip dive off the apron, followed by the running knee to the back. Luna has had it with this and hits a powerbomb for two and a hard lariat gets the same. Threat snaps off a German suplex and hits a reverse F5 (the F Bomb) for the pin at 7:05.

Rating: B-. This was a hard hitting fight and it worked well with what they were doing. Impact has done a nice job of turning Threat into…well, a threat, and that’s what they need to do every so often. Threat is someone who feels like she has been built from the ground up and could become something around here. On the other hand you have Luna, who could do well as a powerhouse with a unique look.

Santino Marella and Joe Hendry are talking about Dirty Dango when Sheldon Jean and Kenny King come in. King thinks Jean should get a match with Hendry, so Santino makes it for next week. As for Against All Odds, Hendry can defend his Digital Media Title against Dango. Works for Hendry.

We look at Killer Kelly and Masha Slamovich brawling at Under Siege. A chain was involved.

Kelly wants a dog collar match with Slamovich. Her talk about giving in to your natural instinct is designed to make various suggestions.

Here is what’s coming on various shows.

Subculture vs. Motor City Machine Guns

Shelley and Andrews get things going with Shelley’s armdrag not getting him very far. Sabin comes in to headlock Webster to little avail as Webster grabs an armdrag of his own. Everything breaks down and the Guns send Andrews outside to kick Webster down. Back in and Andrews gets kicked down as well, allowing Shelley to grab a cross arm choke on Webster.

Back up and Webster gets Shelley into the corner for a quick dropkick to the leg. Subculture hits back to back flips onto Sabin to send him outside as well, setting up the stereo suicide dives. Back in and the Guns hit some clotheslines to take over and we take a break. We come back with Andrews being caught in a surfboard for a bulldog from Sabin. The chinlock goes on for a bit but Andrews fights up, allowing the tag off to Webster. Everything breaks down again and Webster hits a springboard moonsault to drop both Guns.

Webster hits a big dive onto Sabin and a double Falcon Arrow (that’s a new one) gets two back inside. Shelley comes back in for the save and house is cleaned, including a Death Valley Driver/running neckbreaker combination (that’s a new one too). A Magic Killer (that’s not a new one) gets two on Andrews but he pops up off a Doomsday dropkick.

Shelley is knocked outside, leaving Sabin to clothesline both of them inside out. Cradle Shock is countered into a Stundog Millionaire (sweet) but Webster misses a 450. Sabin grabs a cutter on Webster and the Dream Sequence hits Andrews. The Dirt Bomb finishes Webster off at 16:13.

Rating: B+. There are certain matches that are designed to have talented stars letting it all hang out and hitting one big move after another until someone finally gets pinned. That is what you had here and this was an awesome TV main event. The Guns can still hang with anyone and if Subculture wants a job in Impact, there is a good chance that they got one here. Great stuff here and worth a look if you have time.

Overall Rating: B. I find myself looking forward to Impact more and more each week and that was the case again here. The opener and main event (especially the latter) are both rather awesome TV matches and the rapid fire build to Against All Odds wasn’t bad at all. Cut down on the way too long opening segment and this show is probably the best TV show of the week. Awesome stuff here, as I’m starting to wonder if it’s still fair to say Impact is on a roll, as this has been going on for a long time now.

Results
Eddie Edwards b. Yuya Uemura – Boston Knee Party
Sami Callihan/Jake Crist b. Decay – Elevated cutter to Steve
Trinity b. Savannah Evans – Reverse Rings of Saturn
Jody Threat b. Dani Luna – F Bomb
Motor City Machine Guns b. Subculture – Dirt Bomb to Webster

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – May 25, 2023: Siege Works

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 25, 2023
Location: Cicero Stadium, Cicero, Illinois
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

It’s the go home show for Under Siege and the card is mostly set. There is still some tightening up that could be done for most of the show and that is where this week can come into play. Other than that, it might be time to start setting things up for the next big show after Under Siege so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Chris Sabin vs. Mike Bailey

Sabin blocks the kick to start but Bailey jumps over him, allowing Sabin to elbow him in the back. There’s the apron kick to the chest and Bailey is in trouble early. Back in and Sabin takes him down into a double underhook crank on the mat. That’s broken up and Bailey kicks him in the face to take over. More kicks put Sabin down and there’s the running shooting star press for two.

Sabin kicks the arm out and hits a missile dropkick but Bailey is back with more kicks. The standing moonsault knees to Sabin’s chest look to set up the tornado kick but Sabin kicks him back down. Back up and Bailey kicks him to the floor, setting up a kick to the head and a top rope Asai moonsault to drop Sabin again. Bailey kicks him in the head back inside but the Ultimate Weapon takes too long.

Instead Sabin sends him to the apron for a sunset bomb out to the floor (ouch). Back in and Sabin catches him on top again, this time with a release German superplex to send Bailey face first down. A heck of a clothesline sets up the Cradle Shock but Bailey reverses into a cradle for two. Bailey kicks him down hard for two more and now the tornado kick connects. The Ultimate Weapon doesn’t though and Sabin goes classic with a MuscleBuster. The Cradle Shock finishes Bailey at 12:25.

Rating: B+. This was another rather awesome X-Division opener and Bailey almost had me on that reverse of the Cradle Shock. These guys were trading one big move after another and they had a heck of a match as a result. Sabin can get in there against almost anyone and beating Bailey means a lot around here. This was rather awesome stuff and Bailey didn’t get get that annoying. I’m as shocked as you are, but great opener.

Video on Trinity debuting, feeling the love from the crowd, and accepting a match with Gisele Shaw at Under Siege.

Video on PCO vs. Steve Maclin.

Maclin says he has taken out PCO, so PCO won’t get a title shot at Under Siege. He’ll name his own replacement tonight.

Sheldon Jean/Kenny King vs. Decay

Nick Aldis is on commentary. Steve takes Jean down by the neck to start so Jean hands it off to King. That’s fine with Steve, who brings in the rather terrifying Taurus. We take a break and come back with Taurus knocking Jean down and kicking him in the face out of the corner. The reverse Sling Blade allows the tag back to Steve as everything breaks down. Taurus suplexes Steve onto King and then flip dives onto Jean. With Taurus on the floor, King Royal Flushes Steve for the pin at 10:24.

Rating: C. Perfectly fine match here though it never got into another level. This was about King looking better to get ready for his showdown with Aldis and the win gives him some momentum heading into the match. Other than that, Aldis being all chill on commentary sets a nice tone for him, but he’ll still need to find something to make him more interesting against King.

Post match King talks about Aldis, who says King can’t keep his name out of his mouth. Aldis knows King is trying to make a name for himself at Aldis’ expense, but the reality is that King needs to work his way up from being a little b****. Aldis takes his jacket off but has to deal with Jean, who comes after him on King’s orders. That’s enough to get Aldis in the ring, but King bails while singing his version of Annie’s Tomorrow.

Rosemary’s hourglass is almost out and Jessicka is panicking.

Jessicka vs. Taylor Wilde

KiLynn King is here with Wilde, who starts fast by knocking Jessicka down. A running basement DDT sets up a fisherman’s neckbreaker (the Witch’s Wrath) to finish Jessicka at 39 seconds.

Post match the beatdown is on and we see the hourglass running out. Cue a pair of red Chuck Taylor’s….and Courtney Rush (Rosemary before she was Rosemary) is here. Ruse comes in and cleans house, leaving the Coven to run off. Jessicka is thrilled to have Rush here and hugging ensues.

Post break Jessicka isn’t sure what the deal with Rush is, but Rush says she is kind of Rosemary but not really, as it’s kind of a possession sort of thing. Since she is here though, there is an adventure to go on, with Jessicka being invited along for the ride.

Angels vs. Rich Swann

The rest of the Design and Sami Callihan are here too. Swann bounces out of a wristlock to start and takes Angels down without much trouble. A hard kick drops Angels fast but he sends Swann to the floor, setting up a catapult into the post. Back in and a powerslam cuts Swann off again but he’s right back with some kicks to the face. A neckbreaker drops Angels again and there’s the step over kick to the face to make it worse.

Angels catches him on the middle rope and kicks the legs out to take over again. Swann ducks a kick to the head and scores with a dropkick, only to have a cartwheel moonsault hit raised knees. Angels sends him outside for a dive, followed by a frog splash for two back inside. That’s enough for Swann, who catches him on top and snaps off a hurricanrana. The middle rope 450 finishes for Swann at 6:56.

Rating: C+. Angels is pretty easily the best in-ring star of the Design but that isn’t exactly the hardest field to overcome. The war against Callihan continues, but there is only so much to get out of this story as it somehow keeps going. I’m almost scared to see who is going to team with Callihan and Swann tomorrow, but hopefully it isn’t someone with too much value being sunk into this thing.

Post match the Design comes in so Callihan tries to make the save. The baseball bat shots knock the good guys down.

Deonna Purrazzo isn’t worried about Jordynne Grace but Alisha Edwards comes in. Edwards talks about that Grace is going to show her true colors but Purrazzo isn’t convinced.

Killer Kelly and Masha Slamovich have a big brawl in the back. Slamovich chokes her out.

Alisha Edwards vs. Jordynne Grace

Eddie Edwards is here with Alisha. Grace gets shoved in the face to start and Alisha chops her, earning a laugh. Another slap is countered into Dalton Castle’s Bang A Rang, setting up the Grace Driver (Alisha landed HARD) for the pin at 46 seconds.

We get an explanation from Dirty Dango of why he attacked Santino Marella. Dango explains that he grew up watching the Attitude Era and he doesn’t like people walking around talking about how happy they are to be here. No he doesn’t have to worry about walking on eggshells because he makes money outside of wrestling. When he broke in, it was about talking in the locker room and what you did rather than looking at your phones.

People cared about the crowd reactions rather than their social media. No he isn’t worried about people hitting him in the face, but he might get a tweet. As for attacking Santino, it’s because the Cobra was a big deal in 2010 and Santino is stuck doing the same things over and over. Joe Hendry is just another stooge and it would be ironic and funny if Dango won the toy title. So he’s Jim Cornette’s complaints about modern wrestling?

Video on the six way #1 contenders match at Under Siege.

Chris Bey vs. John Skyler

Ace Austin, Brian Myers and Jason Hotch are ringside. Bey snaps off a hurricanrana to start and hits a double stomp to the back. Skyler is sent outside and ducks the dive, allowing his friends to offer a distraction. One heck of a clothesline takes Bey down and we take a break. Back with Skyler grabbing a chinlock but Bey is up in a hurry. The running elbow hits Skyler in the corner but a middle rope elbow misses for Bey. We get a series of standing switches as Hotch offers a distraction. With that not working, Bey dropkicks Myers down and the Art of Finesse finishes Skyler at 9:17.

Rating: C+. Another nice match between talented guys. The Good Hands have wound up being a perfectly nice team and a cool addition to the division. That being said, the Bullet Club has gone from just another team to maybe the best in the company today (yes including the Guns). I could go for those guys holding the titles for a long time, as this worked rather well, with skilled tag wrestlers getting to show their solo skills for a change.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Here is Steve Maclin to name his replacement World Title challenger for tomorrow night. Maclin declares PCO dead so here is his new opponent: Champagne Singh! Cue Singh, with Shera, to say it’s time he finished his story. He has a list of people to thank and it’s probably hundreds of names long. Instead here is Scott D’Amore to interrupt, with Singh saying we should get a contract out here right now.

D’Amore says nah on the match so Maclin yells about this being unfair. D’Amore says he wants the best wrestler in the world to be the World Champion and that might be Maclin. Then Maclin tries to do something like this and the title is disrespected. D’Amore wants to bury this right now. If Maclin retains at Under Siege, D’Amore will shake his hand and apology, even handing Maclin the title. That doesn’t work for the champ, who tells D’Amore to leave and show him the respect that he deserves.

The title makes Maclin D’Amore’s boss, and he wants D’Amore to strap the title around him if he wins at Under Siege. That works for D’Amore, but Maclin still wants to know the replacement. D’Amore hasn’t named a replacement, because THERE IS NO REPLACEMENT. Actually, he’s here tonight and cue PCO so the fight can be on. Maclin bails as the lackeys are beaten up to end the show. This was a long segment to set up the D’Amore stipulation and nothing else, as otherwise we’re right back where we started coming into this show.

Overall Rating: B-. Under Siege is looking good and this show helped boost it up even more. What mattered here was making me care about the big show a bit more and they accomplished their goal. The opener was good and the segments worked well enough, though the women’s matches not even breaking 90 seconds total was rather strange. As usual, the show knows what it needs to do and then goes out to do it, which is harder than it seems. Good show here, with the more important show hopefully following suit.

Results
Chris Sabin b. Mike Bailey – Cradle Shock
Kenny King/Sheldon Jean b. Decay – Royal Flush to Crazzy Steve
Taylor Wilde b. Jessicka – Witch’s Wrath
Rich Swann b. Alan Angels – Middle rope 450
Jordynne Grace b. Alisha Edwards – Grace Driver
Chris Bey b. John Skyler – Art Of Finesse

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – May 11, 2023: The Way I Like My Impact

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 11, 2023
Location: Cicero Stadium, Cicero, Illinois
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

We are inching closer to Under Siege and the World Title situation is looking interesting. PCO is scheduled to challenge Steve Maclin for the title and that is not exactly sitting well with the champ. Other than that, we have some matches rapidly being set, with Trinity possibly being added to the card. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

Masha Slamovich vs. Killer Kelly

Kelly crawls around to start and rolls a kicking Slamovich up for two. Back up and Kelly knocks her to the floor without much trouble, setting up the running kick to the chest. Some clotheslines drop Slamovich again, followed by a delayed release fisherman’s suplex for two. Slamovich runs her over and rips at Kelly’s face for a bit.

We hit the reverse chinlock but Kelly powers up and sends her into the corner for the break. Some Al Snow trapping headbutts set up a suplex into the corner, followed by a German suplex for two. Slamovich kicks her in the ribs for her own two, setting up a sunset driver for another near fall. Kelly shrugs it off and hits a Death Valley Driver, setting up the Killer Klutch. Slamovich is up with a rope walk and flips back onto Kelly for the pin at 8:42.

Rating: C+. Good stuff here, as Kelly continues to impress. Slamovich needed the win more here though, as she has fallen mostly through the floor in recent months. The talent is there, but at some point you have to win something. The same is true for Kelly, though she has never had the big opportunities that Slamovich has already earned. Nice opener here, and a change of pace from the usual fast paced starts to the show.

Kenny King gives Sheldon Jean a pep talk before his match.

We look back at Trinity’s debut last week.

Trinity wants the Knockouts Title and has an open contract for Under Siege. Jai Vidal comes in and grabs a quick photo, much to Trinity’s confusion.

Nick Aldis vs. Sheldon Jean

Kenny King is on commentary. Aldis headlocks him down a few times but it’s too early for the King’s Lynn Cloverleaf. They head outside with King offering a distraction so Jean can get in a cheap shot to take over. Back in and a side kick gives Jean two but Aldis fights up without much trouble. A Michinoku Driver gets two on Jean but he catches Aldis on top. With that broken up, Aldis drops the top rope elbow and the King’s Lynn Cloverleaf is good for the tap at 3:30.

Rating: C. Jean is decent enough to be one of the new designated jobbers whose name we know, though that might not have the longest shelf life. This was of course all about Aldis though, who looked fine in his return. That being said, at some point he is going to have to show that he can be more interesting and that has been an issue for him for years.

Dirty Dango and Joe Hendry are talking about who attacked Santino Marella when Johnny Swinger and Zicky Dice come in. Hendry and the two goons accuse each other, setting up Swinger vs. Dango. Well, after they call Santino to make it official. With the villains gone, Dango invites Hendry to his birthday party, where Hendry would be the only guest. Ok then.

We get part three of the Frankie Kazarian interviews, this time talking about his return and quest to become World Champion. Last year he won the X-Division Title again and used Option C but came up short again, though the World Title is still a goal. We talk about the various things he has done, many of which had nothing to do with the title. He is willing to fight anyone around, and now he’s the veteran, which is a spot that he loves to have. This really didn’t tell us much, but getting to know wrestlers a bit more like this is a great idea and that has been the case here.

Decay vs. Good Hands

The Hands introduce themselves and mock the Chicago Cubs like good villains should. Skyler and Steve start things off, with Steve taking him down for a neck crank. Taurus comes in for a modified What’s Up, followed by the running hurricanrana. Steve’s monkey flip is broken up though and a cheap shot (Tom: “Steve was blindsided!” The guy is legally blind so that’s not nice.) lets Hotch take him down again.

Steve’s double finger bite doesn’t work and it’s a belly to back suplex to cut him off. Steve Downward Spirals his way out of trouble, allowing the hot tag to Taurus. With Brian Myers coming out to watch, Taurus cleans house and everything breaks down. Steve dives onto Skyler but gets dropped by Myers. A Stunner over the ropes staggers Taurus into a middle rope G9 (Samoan drop/Blockbuster combination) for the pin at 5:09.

Rating: C+. Kind of a slow match but Myers hooking up with the Good Hands is a better move than having them work for Bully Ray, so they did something smart. Decay losing is a little weird, but it’s a fine enough way to establish the new unit. The Good Hands are, well, good hands, so there should be a place for them for awhile.

Post match Myers poses with the Good Hands.

Flashback Moment of the Week: Sarita/Taylor Wilde b. Beautiful People to win the Knockouts Tag Team Titles.

Steve Maclin is sick of Champagne Singh and Shera screwing up so he fires both of them. Singh and Shera have an idea.

Post break, Singh and Shera jump Heath.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Rhino vs. Steve Maclin

Maclin is defending and we get the Big Match Intros for a nice touch. They hit the stall button for a bit to start before trading arm control. Rhino powers him into the corner and Maclin has to stop for a breather. Some chops into a hiptoss look to set up the Gore but Maclin bails to the floor. That’s fine with Rhino, who crotches him on the barricade, only for a Stunner over the top to cut Rhino off.

Back in and Maclin goes after the leg, with some rams into the apron to make it worse. The middle rope headbutt misses for Maclin though and the slugout is on. Maclin is taken up top for a superplex and a near fall, leaving both of them down. Another Gore is loaded up but Maclin cuts out the leg again in a smart move. Maclin hits his own Gore for the pin to retain at 9:00.

Rating: C+. It was a bit of a slow match but Maclin gets a nice defense under his belt before he has to move on to PCO. Working on the leg was a good enough way to keep the match going and Maclin using the Gore was an even better touch. Maclin might not be the most interesting champion, but he had a perfectly fine title defense here.

Post match Maclin goes after the knee again and takes it out with a chair. Maclin isn’t done though as he wraps the chair around the leg and smashes it with a shovel. That’s FINALLY enough to draw out referees to break it up.

During the break, Rhino was taken out on a stretcher and into an ambulance, with Scott D’Amore there to watch. Maclin pops up and gets in a shouting match with D’Amore, who makes the Under Siege match against PCO No DQ. PCO appeared for the brawl and Maclin ran off.

Here is Joe Hendry for a chat. He was talking to Michael Jordan, who gave him some advice, but Hendry is the expert on wrestling. Hendry is here to hear them say WE BELIEVE and then introduces Dirty Dango.

Dirty Dango vs. Johnny Swinger

Joe Hendry and Zicky Dice are here too. Dango slugs away to start but gets choked on the rope for his efforts. Swinger stops to strut though, allowing Dango to block a stomp to the chest. A Falcon Arrow finishes Swinger at 1:16.

The Design is still mad at Sami Callihan and promises more suffering. The Army Of Violence comes in but Sami is there in disguise and chaos ensues. Much like this horrible story.

Moose isn’t sure what Brian Myers is up to with the Good Hands but doesn’t seem to like the idea. With Moose gone, Myers says he wants the Hands to become a team, so he’ll mold them into champions.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Knockouts Tag Team Titles: Deonna Purrazzo/Jordynne Grace vs. The Coven

The Coven is defending. Purrazzo and King trade waistlocks to start before Purrazzo’s running hurricanrana takes her down. An armdrag into an armbar has King down and it’s off to Grace for a double hiptoss. An assisted moonsault gets two on King but Grace gets sent into the corner for an elbow to the face.

Grace elbows her way out of trouble but the Grace Driver is blocked. The Vader Bomb connects instead and we take a break with King in trouble. Back with Purrazzo kicking and dodging her way out of the corner, only to get dropped hard onto the apron. The slow beating continues, with Wilde choking in the corner and on the rope. Purrazzo fights out of the front facelock and kicks her way to freedom, allowing the hot tag off to Grace.

House is quickly cleaned until we settle down to Grace jumping over Wilde in the corner. Grace catches her in the corner and hits a MuscleBuster for two, with King making the save. Everything breaks down again and Grace is sent into Purrazzo by mistake, allowing Wilde to get two. With Purrazzo down, a Hart Attack (pump kick instead of clothesline) finishes Grace to retain at 14:29.

Rating: B-. The extra time helped here and the Coven continues to grow into a more respectable team. They already feel like the best team in Impact but given the rather shallow competition, that still leaves them with a lot to cover. For now though, beating two singles stars and keeping the Knockouts Title feud going is a good use of fifteen minutes in the main event.

Post match the Coven goes after Grace but Trinity runs in for the save. A lot of posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was the Impact that I like: they had a bunch of stuff they wanted to cover and then did just that. It’s very nice to see them have an efficiently run show like this one which had enough good wrestling to keep me invested and nothing bad to hold it down. Nice work this week, and that is always good to see.

Results
Masha Slamovich b. Killer Kelly – Rollup
Nick Aldis b. Sheldon Jean – King’s Lynn Cloverleaf
Good Hands b. Decay – Samoan drop/middle rope Blockbuster combination to Taurus
Steve Maclin b. Rhino – Gore
Dirty Dango b. Johnny Swinger – Falcon Arrow
The Coven b. Jordynne Grace/Deonna Purrazzo – Pump kick/spinebuster combination to Grace

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – April 27, 2023: This Show Is Darn Nifty

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 27, 2023
Location: Rebel Entertainment Complex, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

The end of last week’s show saw a big announcement as PCO will be getting the first shot at Steve Maclin’s World Title. That alone is going to make for a heck of a showdown at Under Siege, but the card is going to need more than just one match. There are a few options available and we will probably find out some of them tonight so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

Masha Slamovich vs. Jordynne Grace

Grace shoulders her down to start and then does it again, setting up a wristlock. Slamovich tries an armbar but gets powered into the corner, where Grace hits the running Vader Bomb for two. It’s too early for the Grace Driver as Slamovich sends her into the rope for a shot to the throat. Slamovich gets in a shot to the face and rips at said face for a bonus.

There’s a neck snap across the top rope but Grace catches her in the corner and hits a MuscleBuster for two. Slamovich charges into a Michinoku driver for two more before Grace pulls her into a rear naked choke. That’s reversed into Slamovich’s choke, plus a leg trap belly to back suplex for two. They go into a pinfall reversal sequence for a series of ones until Grace stacks her up for the pin at 11:02.

Rating: B-. These two work well together, but it is kind of astounding to see how far Slamovich has fallen. Maybe it is the Russian aspect, but she has gone from what seemed to be the next big thing in the division to just kind of there. While it could still change, I’m not seeing much of a reason to believe that she is going to go further than she is right now. At least not for the time being.

We get a look back at Nick Aldis’ history in Impact, which led to him leading to see if he could be a star without being Magnus. Then he became the NWA World Champion for over 1,000 days and now it is time to see if he can still do it around here.

Joe Hendry has a broke nose. No word on how long he might be out.

Here is Steve Maclin for a chat. Maclin gets to the point: he doesn’t want to wait for Under Siege, so PCO can come out here right now. Cue Champagne Singh and Shera to jump PCO, who fights them both off. Cue Santino Marella and we have a match right now.

PCO vs. Champagne Singh

There are no seconds as PCO sends him to the floor to start. There’s the running flip dive to drop Singh but he’s back with a dropkick and Codebreaker. PCO isn’t happy with Singh bringing out money though and it’s a Backstabber out of the corner. The middle rope flipping splash connects and there’s the DeAnimator to make it worse. A reverse DDT sets up the PCOsault to finish Singh at 5:30.

Rating: C. This was what it needed to be, as PCO ran through someone who shouldn’t give him a problem. PCO has taken out much bigger stars around here and it isn’t like Singh or Shera has any real credibility. Nothing match, but PCO looked good in a pretty dominant win and that’s what they needed to do here.

Flashback Moment of the Week: Magnus b. Christopher Daniels on Impact, February 14, 2013.

The Design is mad at Sami Callihan.

The Coven uses magic to weaken Deonna Purrazzo before Taylor Wilde faces her tonight. They laugh a lot.

Here is Johnny Swinger, with Zicky Dice, to face a luchador that Dice has paid for personally. There’s a language barrier though, so Dice goes to get him.

Johnny Swinger vs. El Dinerico

I have a feeling you know what is going on here. A drop toehold and la majistral finishes Dinerico at 27 seconds.

Post break Swinger and Dice celebrate their win but Santino Marella comes in to say that doesn’t count. Swinger fires Dice, who is so upset he speaks Spanish.

Kenny King won a match on BTI and yelled at commentary.

After mocking the guy he beat, King talked to Sheldon Jean, who has untapped potential. Jean doesn’t seem interested, but King eventually intrigues him.

Design vs. Bullet Club

Non-title and it’s Angels/Kon with Deaner for the Design. Angels slugs away at Bey as commentary thankfully says that a lot of people were expecting Sami Callihan to turn on the team. Bey takes over on Angels so it’s off to Kon, who is quickly kicked in the head. Kon runs them both over though and throws Bey outside in a (possibly ankle injuring) heap. We see Santino Marella down in the back and come back to Kon putting Austin in a nerve hold.

Austin fights out of the corner and avoids a charge, setting up a kick to the face. Bey comes back in with a Code Red to Angels but Kon grabs him, setting up a springboard Russian legsweep (that was cool). With Kon on the floor, the Club take turns diving at him to limited avail. Cue Callihan to go after Deaner, leaving the Club to finally drop Kon with a double dive. Back in and the 1 2 Sweet finishes Angels at 8:26.

Rating: C+. It says a lot about the Bullet Club that they were able to get something decent out of these schmucks. The Design continues to be one of the most worthless acts in wrestling and having Callihan come out there to hurt their leader was almost cathartic in a way. Just get the feud over with so hopefully they can move on to anything else, because this is somehow getting less interesting by the week.

Santino Marella was attacked and is told he needs to take some time off. Dirty Dango resigns as assistant Director of Authority (with Santino reminding him that he never such a thing in the first place) to become DETECTIVE of Authority. Someone has to solve the mystery of who jumped Santino you see.

The Death Dollz don’t have the power to get back to the Undead Realm without the Knockouts Tag Team Titles. Crazzy Steve comes in and, after being amazed by how excited Jessicka is about meeting him, suggests that they talk to James Mitchell. Rosemary doesn’t like it but agrees.

Jody Threat vs. Seleziya Sparx

Jody drives her into the corner to start and grabs the wristlock to keep things on the mat. Back up and Threat gets sent to the apron, only to come back with a top rope seated senton. Some corner clotheslines set up a release German suplex, followed by the F416 to finish Sparx at 4:21.

Rating: C. I still do not get the appeal of Threat, who has yet to show me much of anything in her time around here. She’s not bad or having terrible matches, but rather just coming and going without making any real impression. Then again, I do like the idea of putting in some fresh names so points for at least trying something.

Killer Kelly really liked Hardcore War and wants more violence.

We get the first in a series of sitdown interviews with Frankie Kazarian. He got his break in Impact in 2003 and became a star in the X-Division. It was the tale end of the wild west of wrestling though and he didn’t want to become one of the good old boys who clutched to their spot. Then he left in 2014 after doing all kinds of things here, but management was such a mess (we get a clip of Dixie Carter clutching to Hulk Hogan’s leg, begging him to stay) that he decided to walk away. More next week after a more interesting first part than I was expecting.

Here’s what’s coming on future shows.

Knockouts Title: Taylor Wilde vs. Deonna Purrazzo

Wilde, with KiLynn King, is challenging. They circle each other for a bit to start before Wilde takes out the leg to put them both on the mat. Purrazzo reverses into an armbar but it gets broken up for an early standoff. An armdrag into an armbar has Wilde in more trouble but King offers a distraction for the break. Wilde gets in a cheap shot from behind but takes too long posing, allowing Purrazzo to try for the Fujiwara armbar. With that not working, Wilde consults her cards and we take a break.

Back with Wilde being sent outside, allowing Purrazzo to deck King. That lets Wilde get in another shot to take over, with King even getting in the neck snap of retribution. Wilde steps on the hair and pulls up like a good villain, only to be knocked into the corner. They collide in the middle for a double knockdown and they get a breather. Wilde grabs a German suplex but gets pulled into the Fujiwara armbar for the tap at 12:56.

Rating: B-. Another nice back and forth match here as Purrazzo dispatches an early challenger for the title. Wilde taking the loss doesn’t hurt her title reign with King and it was a pretty competitive match. You can probably pencil in King for a title shot of her own and I’ve heard worse ideas for everyone involved.

Post match the beatdown is on but Jordynne Grace makes the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. People who needed to win did so and aside from the Design, there was nothing that felt like a waste of time. In other words, it’s more of the same solid stuff from Impact that we’ve been seeing for months now. What matters is setting up Under Siege and you can see some of those matches coming from here. They still have time to set it up and odds are we’ll be seeing something more next week. For now, it’s a show that did enough good to make me want to see what happens next.

Results
Jordynne Grace b. Masha Slamovich – Rollup
PCO b. Champagne Singh – PCOsault
Johnny Swinger b. El Dinerico – La majistral
Bullet Club b. The Design – 1 2 Sweet to Angels
Jody Threat b. Seleziya Sparx – F416
Deonna Purrazzo b. Taylor Wilde – Fujiwara armbar

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – March 30, 2023: Never Before Seen Sideshow

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 30, 2023
Location: Globe Theater, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

This is a special show as it is really a big pre-show for the Multiverse United show taking place later tonight. Since that isn’t enough to carry two hours, there are also a few bonus matches from previous TV tapings. Impact has been rather entertaining lately but sometimes you need to shake things up a bit. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

We run down the Multiverse United card, which is pretty stacked.

Santino Marella comes in to talk about the card, because when you think dream matches with Impact vs. New Japan, you want that accent and jokes about how he can’t get his words right.

Video on Mike Bailey vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi, with Tanahashi being Tanahashi and Bailey wanting to face one of the best ever.

Let’s look at one of those two in action. From new Japan Resurgence 2021.

IWGP US Heavyweight Title: Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Lance Archer

Archer is defending and sends Tanahashi outside to start. It works so well that he does it again and we’re clipped to Tanahashi getting clotheslined to the floor as Jon Moxley (with a beer in a nasty flashback) is watching at ringside. Archer hits a running flip dive off the apron and Tanahashi is whipped into the barricade.

Back in and three straight running shoulders crush Tanahashi in the corner but Archer stops to yell at Moxley. We’re clipped again to Archer scaring the referee and getting in a low blow but Tanahashi fights out of the chokeslam. A backsplash sets up a middle rope flipping backsplash but Archer kicks him in the face as we take a break.

Back with Tanahashi slipping out of a Black Out (having apparently already taken one). Tanahashi fights back and hits Twist and Shout, followed by a Sling Blade for two as we hit fifteen minutes in (about 12 show, including a commercial). Archer fights back and loads a chair in the corner but of course gets sent into it instead. A Black Hole Slam gives Archer two and we’re clipped to the two of them on top. Tanahashi knocks him down and hits back to back High Fly Flows for the pin and the title at 15:44 shown (of 19:26 and again, minus about 3:30 due to commercial).

Rating: B. Tanahashi might not be what he used to be but even a banged up and old Tanahashi is still better than just about anyone in the world. He knows exactly how to wrestle a monster like Archer and it is nearly impossible to not enjoy something about him. Very engaging match here as I wanted to see Tanahashi make the comeback. I’m sure the longer version is even better, as it tends to be.

Rocky Romero loves seeing the promotions working together and is ready to win another title tonight.

We take a quick look at Trey Miguel beating Lince Dorado at Sacrifice.

Video on Minoru Suzuki vs. Kenta vs. the New Japan Openweight Strong Title. For some reason, Suzuki, who earned the shot by pinning Kenta in the New Japan Cup, seems mad.

The hosts pick Kenta, but think both of them can be violent when they’re angry.

Fred Rosser replaces Santino and is ready for his eight man tag tonight.

We look at how Chris Bey and Ace Austin won the Tag Team Titles.

We also see the Motor City Machine Guns beating Bey and Austin at Against All Odds.

We look at the Motor City Machine Guns beating Austin and Bey at Overdrive.

We look at Aussie Open beating Austin and Bey on Impact. You might want to present your champs in a better light.

Austin and Bey did beat The Mighty Don’t Kneel at Sacrifice.

Rosser picks Austin and Bey to retain the titles.

We recap the mess left behind due to Mickie James suffering a broken rib. She isn’t going to vacate the title, but it comes down to her health status at Rebellion. If she is healthy, she’s in a title match but if not, it’s Jordynne Grace vs. the winner of tonight’s four way match.

James joins us and is sad about not getting to compete but we do have something to cheer her up: the Knockouts are the feature in this month’s Pro Wrestling Illustrated (somehow for the first time ever. She puts over the division and says she wanted to face Miyu Yamashita tonight, which sends us to another exclusive match.

From Windsor, Ontario, Canada.

Miyu Yamashita vs. Killer Kelly

Miyu powers her around to start before firing off the kicks. A big one to the chest drops Kelly, who looks somewhere between stunned and happy. One fan: “Kelly’s gonna kill you!” Miyu sweeps the leg again and gets two off a running kick to the chest. Kelly is back with some knees, only to get blasted with a clothesline for two. Some arm trap headbutts have Al Snow smiling somewhere and Kelly suplexes her into the corner.

It’s too early for the Killer Klutch though and Miyu hits a running kick to the face for a double knockdown. They slug it out from their knees and fight to the floor with Miyu getting the better of things. Miyu’s springboard something is broken up though and Kelly gets two off a fisherman’s suplex back inside. Kelly manages to pull her into the Killer Klutch but Miyu slips out and kicks her in the head (Skull Kick) for the pin at 10:14.

Rating: B-. Kelly continues to be someone who feels like she could be a big deal if she was given the chance. She has a unique look and feels creepy at times, which is a lot more than some can say. At the same time, Miyu came off like a more polished star (as she is) and that kick at the end looked great. Fun, hard hitting match here between two skilled women.

Here’s what’s coming on New Japan on AXS TV.

Tommy Dreamer joins us to talk about his issues with Bully Ray, setting up their team Hardcore War at rebellion.

We look at Bully Ray getting into a hockey fight with Darren McCarty at Sacrifice, resulting in Ray and the Good Hands putting him through a table. Then Scott D’Amore and company returned, with D’Amore giving Jason Hotch a Canadian Destroyer. Still probably not the best thing for a retired boss to do.

We preview Jeff Cobb vs. Moose in the Multiverse United hoss fight.

Dreamer picks Cobb because he hates Moose. That’s rather to the point.

Moose joins us from the arena to say that Tommy Dreamer is jealous about only accomplishing a fraction of what Moose has accomplished. As for Cobb, Moose knows he’ll bring it but Moose knows how to win. For some reason Moose sounded somewhere between sleepy and old here.

Post break Scott D’Amore joins us and invites D’Amore to join his team at Rebellion. D’Amore thankfully declines because he’s the President of the company. With Dreamer gone, D’Amore talks about Josh Alexander’s injury and is glad to have Lio Rush take Alexander’s place against Kushida tonight. We look at Kushida Hoverboard Locking Alexander at a recent show, with the hosts speculating that had something to do with Alexander’s injury (nice touch). Since Alexander is hurt, let’s take one more look at him defending the title.

From Las Vegas, Nevada.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Kenta vs. Josh Alexander

Alexander is defending and backs Kenta (with a bad shoulder) into the corner to start. A quick ankle lock sends Kenta bailing to the ropes and he’s able to send Alexander face first into the buckle to take over. We take a break and come back with Kenta kicking away and looking down at Alexander like a heel should. Alexander fights up and gets knocked to the floor, followed by a neckbreaker to give Kenta two back inside.

Another comeback is cut off with the tornado DDT across the top rope. A top rope clothesline gives Kenta two and he knocks Alexander to the apron. Back in and Alexander managers to power him into the corner as we take another break. We come back with Alexander taking him down for two and they slowly get up. An exchange of hard shots to the face put both of them down, followed by another slugout.

Kenta manages a hanging DDT and a running basement dropkick in the corner. A top rope double stomp gets two more and Kenta rips off the champ’s headgear. GTS is countered into the ankle lock but Kenta reverses into a rollup. A running knee gets two on Alexander but he blasts Alexander with a forearm. The C4 Spike retains the title at 21:50.

Rating: B. This was the long form match between two guys who can beat each other up. Kenta can be a heel rather well and he’s come a long way since the Hideo Itami days. At the same time, it’s sad to see Alexander still being able to go in the ring here because he wouldn’t be able to defend/lose the title because of his injury. Either way, good match here which would have been a lot of fun for the live crowd.

Scott D’Amore is sad about Alexander, who has to show up next week to vacate the title.

One more Multiverse United rundown ends the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a weird show as the wrestling worked well and it was nice to see something new, but the rest of the show was literally a big discussion about/commercial for Multiverse United. The bonus matches helped but you very easily could have skipped this one and not missed much. At least it was just a one off and we get the big show later tonight, so it’s hardly some horrible idea.

Results
Hiroshi Tanahashi b. Lance Archer – High Fly Flow
Miyu Yamashita b. Killer Kelly – Skull Kick
Josh Alexander b. Kenta – C4 Spike

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – March 9, 2023: There’s Good And Bad

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 9, 2023
Location: Sam’s Town Live, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

We are on our way to a trio of shows with Sacrifice, Multiverse United and Rebellion, which makes for quite the packed series of builds. That got started last week with a little something for each show getting time, but they are going to have to do it again for the next few weeks. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Here is Bully Ray to get things going. At No Surrender, Tommy Dreamer used the words “someone like me” (meaning Ray). What did he mean when he said that? Did he mean a two time Hall of Famer or half of the greatest tag team ever? Maybe a two time World Champion?

Ray wishes he knew what Dreamer meant, because he threw hot coffee into Dreamer’s face. Dreamer wants a Busted Open match at Sacrifice but there is no way Dreamer is making it there. Cue Santino Marella to call Bully “Bobby Ray” and say that Dreamer will be at Sacrifice. It was only a minor burn to his balls….er, eyeball so he’ll be fine.

Cue Bhupinder Gujjar to speak Hindi and issue a challenge for right now. Santino makes the match and we’re on. This Santino stuff is getting REALLY old as he’s still doing the same “gee I sure do talk funny” shtick, which can be charming for all of 12 seconds before you realize that he’s making the crowd chuckle over what was supposed to be a serious angle.

Bhupinder Gujjar vs. Bully Ray

Ray’s chain shot doesn’t work to start so he clotheslines Gujjar down instead. Gujjar gets up and yells a lot, seemingly inviting Ray to hit him. Ray’s right hands are shrugged off and Gujjar dropkicks him down. Ray catches him on top though and loads up the chain, which takes too long as well, allowing Gujjar to get in a shot of his own. Gujjar loads up the chain but gets low blowed for the DQ at 3:31.

Rating: D+. Remember when Gujjar was looking like he could be something? Well now he’s cannon fodder in the star making feud between Bully Ray and Tommy Dreamer. This was hardly a high energy match and was much more about Ray trying to get out of having the actual match. Nothing to see here, but thank goodness Ray got his time in.

Post match Ray chains Gujjar in the back but Tommy Dreamer comes in for the save (Why didn’t he come out earlier?). Cue Masha Slamovich to hit Dreamer low but Mickie James makes the save. The women brawl until Dreamer gets up to chase Ray off with a chair.

PCO is next to a grave with a shovel and screams for Eddie Edwards to come fight him.

Josh Alexander comes up to Rich Swann and gets him on his team for a six man at Sacrifice. Steve Maclin comes in but Swann says this isn’t about him. Frankie Kazarian comes in and Maclin leaves, with Kazarian seemingly joining Swann and Alexander at Sacrifice.

Callihan vs. Rhino

The Design and Heath are here too. They trade shoulders to start and neither goes anywhere. The fight heads outside with Callihan raking the eyes and posting him to take over. A Russian legsweep on the ramp puts Rhino down again and the seconds get in an argument. We take a break and come back with Rhino hitting a TKO for two, followed by a belly to belly. A hard clothesline out of the corner cuts Rhino off but it’s too early for the Cactus Driver 97. Angels grabs Callihan’s foot though and Khan adds a chair to the face, allowing Rhino to hit the Gore for the pin at 10:11.

Rating: C. This was as good as a ten minute Rhino vs. Callihan match was going to be as there is only so much the two of them are going to pull off. Rhino is still able to have a watchable enough match and it is nice to see him get a win here. At the same time, the Callihan/Design stuff is still pretty horrible and it needs to wrap up soon. It won’t, but it needs to.

Trey Miguel interrupts Dirty Dango and Santino Marella in the back, asking what they’re going to do for him. That works for Santino, who makes Miguel vs. a handpicked opponent at Sacrifice, plus a six way match for the X-Division Title at Multiverse United. Johnny Swinger and Zicky Dice come in to see if Miguel is as tall as Sky Low Low. With Miguel gone, Swinger asks about facing Dango, who says he’s the assistant Director of Authority. Swinger and Dice leave, so Marella says that isn’t Dango’s job. Dango: “It’s not a job. It’s a way of life.”

During the break, Callihan was mad at the Design but was told that was step #6.

Jordynne Grace vs. Alex Gracia

Grace powers her into the corner to start as we hear about Grace competing as a bodybuilder. A German suplex out of the corner gets two on Gracia but the Grace Driver is blocked. Instead Grace grabs a torture rack spin into a powerbomb. Now the Grace Driver finishes Gracia off at 2:26.

Moose comes up to Joe Hendry, who is telling jokes to a bunch of fans. Brian Myers jumps Hendry from behind and the big beatdown is on.

The Bullet Club, complete with Kenta, come in to mock Josh Alexander/Frankie Kazarian/Rich Swann. The six man is set for next week. Alexander mocks Ace Austin and Chris Bey for being overly excited about being the Tag Team Champions, which doesn’t sit well with the champs.

Jonathan Gresham vs. Kushida

They go technical to start (yes really) with neither being able to get very far. Instead they shake hands and spin around a lot while fighting over arm control. Neither gets very far so Kushida takes it to the mat and rides him a bit. Gresham reverses into a hammerlock on the mat but Kushida gets to his feet, with Gresham still cranking away. It’s finally broken up and Kushida stomps on Gresham’s hand but Gresham is right back with another armbar.

Kushida’s armbar sends Gresham to the rope so Kushida dropkicks the arm to keep him in trouble. Gresham is right back with la majistral for two so he tries it again, only to get reversed into a cradle to give Kushida two of his own. Back up and Kushida sends him into the ropes, which bangs up Gresham’s arm again. The Hoverboard Lock makes Gresham tap at 10:04.

Rating: B-. This was the technical match that you knew it would be and it made Kushida look that much better because he beat someone on his level. Both of them are established names but Kushida is on his way to the World Title shot at Multiverse United so he needed the win here. Good match, and different from everything else on the show.

Eddie Edwards goes to the grave where PCO called him out. That sounds like a very bad idea.

Here is Killer Kelly to sit in a chair and call out Taylor Wilde. Cue Wilde, who says this isn’t about Kelly but rather the future. Kelly doesn’t think much of Wilde telling the future with cards, because she controls her own destiny. Taylor pulls out the tower card and it’s KiLynn King coming in from behind to chair Kelly down. A Death Valley Driver plants Kelly again. I’ve liked King in the past so this is interesting.

Still at the grave, PCO swings his shovel at a rock.

The Death Dollz teleport in to console Killer Kelly, with Rosemary telling her that she needs to grasp the darker realm. Kelly doesn’t seem convinced but says she can handle a 2-1 situation herself. With Kelly gone, KiLynn King and Taylor Wilde come in to make the Knockouts Tag Team Titles challenge. Rosemary is in, if King and Wilde agree to give up the dark arts if they lose. Deal.

Eddie Edwards arrives at the grave but there is no PCO. Then PCO pops up behind him but misses the big swing with the shovel. They fight a bit and PCO sends him into a rock. Eddie manages to grab the shovel but PCO drops him with a reverse DDT (as you do in a fight by a grave). PCO sends him into the grave but here’s a car to run PCO over. Eddie gets in the car and rides away but we never see who is driving.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Knockouts Title: Gisele Shaw vs. Mickie James

Shaw, with Jai Vidal and Savannah Evans, is challenging and Deonna Purrazzo is on commentary. Mickie takes her down with a headlock to start but gets reversed into a headscissors. Back up and they fight over wrist control until Mickie sends her outside for a crash to send us to a break.

We come back with Shaw sending her into the corner to take over. Mickie’s Thesz press gives her a breather though and they slowly slug it out. Shaw gets the better of things and grabs a reverse chinlock to keep James down. Back up and Shaw charges into a boot in the corner, allowing Mickie to hurricanrana her out. The comeback is on but Mickie has to dive onto the goons on the floor.

Shaw gets in a cheap shot to take over again though and the chops have Mickie in trouble in the corner. A pull of the hair drops Mickie again but she explodes out of the corner for the double knockdown. Mickie strikes away and hits a flapjack as the referee seems to tell her how much time is left. The top rope Thesz press gets two on Shaw but Vidal’s distraction breaks up the MickieDT. Purrazzo breaks that up so Shaw grabs a rollup, only to have Purrazzo turn it back over so Mickie can retain at 17:00.

Rating: B-. This match got a lot of time and the ending seems to bring Purrazzo either into the title picture or in line for a showdown with Shaw (or perhaps both). For now though, these two had a good match, with Shaw holding up her end and James being her usual awesome self. It felt like a big time main event and that is a hard trick to pull off a lot of the time.

Overall Rating: C+. This show got better as it went on but there were definitely some rocky points. There are some parts here which just aren’t very good and give me no reason to want to see what happens in them from week to week. Stuff such as Ray vs. Dreamer and the Design/Callihan stuff is just there with few positives to either of them and it hurts to watch them. Then on the other hand you have the solid Knockouts division and the main event feuds, though a lot of that seems to be on hold until we get closer to the build to Rebellion. For now though, the bad stuff gets bailed out, as the positives are quite positive.

Results
Bhupinder Gujjar b. Bully Ray via DQ when Ray hit him low
Rhino b. Callihan – Gore
Jordynne Grace b. Alex Gracia – Grace Driver
Kushida b. Jonathan Gresham – Hoverboard Lock
Mickie James b. Gisele Shaw – Rollup

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – February 9, 2023: Fare Not Well

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 9, 2023
Location: Osceola Heritage Park, Kissimmee, Florida
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

No Surrender is coming up and most of the card has been set up so far. That includes the World Title match, which has not exactly gotten a ton of hype. Maybe it is because it seems we have another challenger on the horizon, but Rich Swann challenging Josh Alexander isn’t exactly feeling huge. Hopefully they can get some more of it covered this week so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Matt Cardona arrives and says he’s in the main event tonight. He is shown to his private dressing room with champagne and shrimp cocktails, but it turns out this is Joe Hendry’s room. Cardona is shown to a closet instead.

No Surrender #1 Contenders Qualifying Match: Brian Myers vs. Dirty Dango

They run the ropes to start until Dango armdrags him into an armbar. Myers’ sunset flip is blocked and Dango drops a leg before they head outside. A posting cuts Dango off and of course Myers is fine to try for a countout. Back in and we hit the chinlock, complete with trash talking. Dango fights up and they collide for a double knockdown. A Russian legsweep sets up the Dirtbag Shuffle, followed by a top rope ax handle to send Myers outside. That’s fine with Myers who hits a Roster Cut on the floor, followed by another inside for the pin at 6:50.

Rating: C. I’m kind of digging the more serious Dango, who has been shifting away from a lot of the comedy and wrestling more traditional matches. As it turns out, he can do those well enough to get by and even do well in some places. Myers is a bigger name and easier to take more seriously so it makes sense for him to win, but Dango has been doing well lately.

Gisele Shaw, with Jai Vidal, messes up a few meals at catering. Deonna Purrazzo doesn’t like what Shaw has been saying lately though and throws what looks like chili in her face. Santino Marella comes in to make a No Surrender match.

Trey Miguel thinks Crazzy Steve is in fact crazy and wants nothing more to do with him. Steve’s laughter is heard and a bloody version of Miguel’s logo appears. Miguel freaks out.

Good Hands vs. Mickie James/Tommy Dreamer

Before the match, the Good Hands talk about how much they hate Florida, which is nowhere as valuable as a hand. Mickie and Hotch start things off with Mickie taking him down without much effort. Dreamer comes in to stay on the arm with James coming right back in with a top rope ax handle to said arm. Skyler comes in so Dreamer sends both of the Hands outside.

Dreamer’s dive off the apron takes both of them down again, followed by Mickie hitting a big dive of her own. The Texas Cloverleaf is on but Hotch makes a quick save. It’s Dreamer getting taken down in the corner for a hip attack but he’s right back up with a cutter. Mickie comes back in to clean house, including the flapjack into the top rope Thesz press. The MickieDT finishes Hotch at 5:22.

Rating: C. Intergender wrestling can be tricky to pull off but they made it work well here. James is one of the most successful women’s wrestlers of all time and it isn’t too much to believe that she could beat one of Bully Ray’s lackeys. Dreamer vs. Ray is still a bit much to take as one of the bigger feuds in the company, but that is where everything seems to be heading.

Post match Bully Ray comes in and decks Dreamer, allowing Masha Slamovich to come in and take out Mickie.

Johnny Swinger, with Zicky Dice, asks Santino Marella for his next match as part of his path to 50 wins. Dirty Dango, the Deputy Director Of Authority, comes in to cut off a bribe attempt but Dice knows someone Swinger can beat.

Video on Rich Swann and how important it was to him to be World Champion. He didn’t get to have fans around, but he knows he inspired a lot of people. Then he lost to Kenny Omega when AEW worked with Impact. Josh Alexander wound up as champion so now Swann wants his belt back. He has his mojo back, so now he needs the title to go with it. This was a different look at Swann and the best thing in the build to the title match thus far.

Steph DeLander vs. Jordynne Grace

DeLander was Persia Pirotta in NXT and here, she promises to be everyone’s worst nightmare. DeLander starts fast by sending her to the apron but Grace powers her way out of trouble. With DeLander on the floor, Grace hits a dropkick through the ropes for two back inside. A quick shot lets DeLander have a breather though and we hit the chinlock.

Grace is right back up though and shrugs off a suplex, setting up the dead lift German suplex for two on DeLander. The Grace Driver is blocked so Grace sends her into the corner. DeLander grabs Snake Eyes into a big boot (seems to be an Undertaker fan), only to have Grace pop back up. The Grace Driver finishes DeLander at 5:02.

Rating: C. Another just ok match in a series of them tonight as DeLander got in a bunch but wound up losing to the bigger star. Grace is going to be back in the title picture sooner than later so giving her a win, even while breaking a sweat, is a good thing. That being said, DeLander was hardly a big star in NXT and I’m not sure how much value she has coming in here. Maybe she can prove herself, and she did start well here.

Matt Cardona is still mad about having to change in a closet so he asks for another dressing room. He gets another one….which is outside.

Josh Alexander respects Rich Swann and knows that Swann only lost one match on one night. Now Swann has his chance to get back but here is Kenny King to interrupt. King wants to know why he isn’t getting a title shot but Swann comes in to say King has to earn it. Swann punches him in the face and Alexander lets them go, only to have King back off.

Killer Kelly/Taylor Wilde vs. Death Dollz

Non-title and it’s Taya Valkyrie and Rosemary for the Dollz. Taya takes Kelly down to start and it’s off to Rosemary to hammer away with right hands. A fall away slam out of the corner sets up the Upside Down as Wilde is looking at her tarot cards on the apron. Wilde comes in and grabs a quick backbreaker to take Rosemary down for the first time.

A fisherman’s suplex gives Kelly two and it’s right back to Wilde for some forearms. Rosemary manages her half of a double clothesline, which is enough to bring Taya back in. Kelly manages to take her down again but Wilde finds the devil card. That means she won’t tag in, allowing a Road To Valhalla with an X Factor from Rosemary to finish Kelly at 6:03.

Rating: C+. Impact’s Knockouts division deserves a lot of credit as they have turned it into something rather entertaining most of the time. There is some depth here and Kelly and Wilde are coming along quite well. The Death Dollz need some challengers though and I’m not sure if there is a team around at the moment to fill that spot.

Post match it’s Father James Mitchell making his return and saying Rosemary hasn’t been paying proper respect to Mitchell’s boss/her father. Therefore, Mitchell is here with a hex….in the form of the Hex, Marti Belle/Allysin Kay (former NWA Women’s Tag Team Champions). The Dollz are laid out.

Eddie Edwards wants Shera to take out PCO as an act of friendship. Edwards seems to offer money as an extra incentive.

Kushida praises the Motor City Machine Guns for their success. The Bullet Club comes in and seems to want a title shot but get a six man tag at No Surrender, with Kenta being promised as their partner.

No Surrender #1 Contenders Qualifying Match: PCO vs. Shera

Raj Singh is here as PCO hammers on Shera to start. A punch to the throat sends Shera outside to set up the suicide flip dive as the fans approve of PCO. Singh’s distraction lets Shera get in a few shots of his own but PCO, busted open, sits up and looks a bit perturbed. PCO runs Shera over while screaming about Eddie Edwards. The PCOsault finishes Shera at 3:10.

Rating: C. The match was more or less a squash and I can appreciate it going that way. There is only so much of a reason to believe that Shera was anything resembling a threat to PCO so just let him run Shera over. PCO isn’t likely to win at No Surrender, but I could absolutely see him being a challenger of the month as a wild card.

Matt Cardona is back inside and finds Brian Myers in Joe Hendry’s dressing room, but apparently it is just for the shrimp. Some people come in singing Hendry’s song and Myers claps along with them. Myers: “It’s a catchy song.”

Frankie Kazarian tries to talk Sami Callihan out of joining the Design but Sami thinks Kazarian has the sickness. The Design comes in and Kazarian issues a challenge to Big Kon.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Digital Media Title: Joe Hendry vs. Matt Cardona

Hendry is defending and refers to Cardona as Edge’s b**** before the match. He knows the people believe in him though and that’s what will be going through his head during the match. Cardona hits Radio Silence at the bell for two and the kickout leaves him livid. They go outside with Hendry hammering away and sending him right back inside.

A spinning slam sets up a delayed suplex for two on Cardona, who needs a breather on the floor. Cardona sweeps the leg on the apron and grabs a neckbreaker on the outside as we take a break. Back with Cardona choking in the corner, setting up a neckbreaker for two. Hendry tries a suplex but gets reversed into another neckbreaker for another two. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Cardona switches into a guillotine.

That’s reversed with a suplex and they’re both down for a breather. Hendry makes the clothesline comeback, setting up the fall away slam to send Cardona flying. Cardona grabs the rope so a DDT can plant Hendry for two of his own. The Reboot is blocked and Hendry cutters him for two. Another Radio Silence gives Cardona another near fall so here is Brian Myers to throw in the belt. The distraction lets Myers hit the Roster Cut….on Cardona by mistake. Myers is sent outside and the Standing Ovation retains the title at 13:02.

Rating: B-. This got rolling near the end as Hendry can wrestle a good match when he is given the chance. They might have something with him as that charisma can’t be ignored. At the same time, Cardona’s transformation from total goof into solid heel (including the physical transformation) is incredibly impressive. He feels like a star so Hendry beating him is a good step forward.

Post match Moose comes in and goes after Hendry but spears Cardona by mistake. Hendry dispatches Moose and plays Cardona’s new song again to end the show. If that’s not it for Cardona around here, they missed a golden opportunity to send him off in an all time humiliating way.

Overall Rating: C+. Impact got back on their good side this week with a solid enough show that actually made me more interested in the World Title match at No Surrender. Other than that, the Cardona stuff was rather funny as he does a great job at getting humiliated. Fun show here and, as usual, they built towards the future, which is one of their strong suits these days.

Results
Brian Myers b. Dirty Dango – Roster Cut
Mickie James/Tommy Dreamer b. Good Hands – MickieDT to Hotch
Jordynne Grace b. Steph DeLander – Grace Driver
Death Dollz b. Killer Kelly/Taylor Wilde – Road To Valhalla/Facebuster combination to Kelly
PCO b. Shera – PCOsault
Joe Hendry b. Matt Cardona – Standing Ovation

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling – February 2, 2023: Who Does That Help?

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 2, 2023
Location: Osceola Heritage Park, Kissimmee, Florida
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

It’s the start of a new month and we are well on our way to No Surrender. Last week saw Rich Swann win a #1 contenders match to earn a shot at Josh Alexander later this month, but it still feels like we are coming up on Steve Maclin as the really big bad. Odds are we see more of the build this week so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

The setup is different this week as the camera isn’t facing the video screen, making it look more like a WWE or AEW show.

Bullet Club vs. Kevin Knight/Kushida

Knight and Ace start things off with Bey’s headlock not getting him very far. Knight misses a charge into the corner and Bey stomps him in the back, only to get caught with a springboard spinning crossbody. It’s off to Kushida to start in on the arm but it’s right back to Knight, whose springboard is dropkicked out of the air. Austin comes in to stomp Knight down for two and he kicks away at Knight in the corner. The Club starts taking turns on Knight, with Austin grabbing a chinlock.

That’s broken up and Knight dives over for the tag to Kushida. Everything breaks down and Knight and Bey wind up on their opponents’ shoulders for a slugout. With that broken up, Knight dropkicks Bey off Kushida’s shoulders (without needing ropes for a boost) for two but Austin knocks Knight down. Austin gets sent outside so Knight tries a springboard….which is pulled into a cutter from Bey onto the apron (that was SWEET). Back in and the Art of Finesse into the Fold finishes Knight at 9:25.

Rating: C+. This was the kind of match that regularly opens Impact a good chunk of the time and they made it work here. The Club has become a very nice team who can make almost anything work and they did it again this week. Beating Kushida, even without pinning him, is a big deal and I could go with the Club getting a bigger spot.

Deaner isn’t happy with Sami Callihan for losing the Golden Six Shooter last week. He failed there, but he can make up for it with a win tonight.

Steph DeLander (formerly Persia Pirotta in NXT) debuts next week.

Gisele Shaw vs. Savannah Evans

Jai Vidal is with Shaw while Evans wants to prove she can do this herself. They talk trash to start until and Evans punches her into the corner. Shaw strikes away but gets shoulders in the corner and butterfly suplexes back out of it. We take a break and come back with Evans hitting a Samoan drop into a spinebuster for two. A fisherman’s suplex gets the same but a Vidal distraction lets Shaw hit a superkick. The running knee finishes Evans at 8:24.

Rating: C-. Shaw is doing something interesting with the Black Widow thing and it makes sense for her to win here. If nothing else, she is getting more of a character and that is something that has been lacking for a long time. The match wasn’t very good, but at least it went the right way.

Post match Shaw says some people call her the Black Widow of the Knockouts Division because she gets rid of people. She doesn’t care how many people she has run off and belongs in the spotlight because she is a star.

Kenny King runs into two guys and doesn’t like that they aren’t talking about him. King steals their chips and then runs into Zicky Dice and Johnny Swinger. More disrespect ensues and King is ready to get a match with Swinger as a result. Swinger isn’t pleased, but he’ll trust Dice.

Post break Santino Marella makes a match between King and Swinger. King leaves and here is Steve Maclin to say he should be #1 contender. Marella puts him in a match to get to a #1 contenders match at No Surrender. Maclin isn’t pleased but leaves, with Dirty Dango coming in. Dango will do whatever Marella needs, but he wants in one of the qualifying matches too. Deal.

Crazzy Steve vs. Sheldon Jean

Black Taurus is here with Steve. They fight over wrist control to start with Jean taking him down by the head and getting in a kick. Back up and Steve bites him in the face, setting up some clotheslines in the corner. There’s the Cannonball and Belladonna’s Kiss finishes Jean at 2:25.

Post match Trey Miguel runs in with the spray paint but Steve takes it away and paints himself.

Jordynne Grace has her guaranteed rematch for the Knockouts Champion but for now she’ll settle for beating up Steph DeLander next week.

Santino Marella comes in to see Raven, who has an idea of how to make money for the company: make Raven the champ. Reese (of WCW fame) comes in to ask if they’re getting the Flock together. Raven: “Shut up Yeti.”

Here is Bully Ray for a chat. After a lot of booing, Ray talks about how he doesn’t think people like him. Management, the fans, the industry as a whole? None of them like him! Ray knows that the boss doesn’t like him because he wasn’t in the #1 contenders match with former World Champions. Ray: “Raise your hand if you know what I’m talking about. Now look at everybody doing what I tell them to do.” After a warning to Santino Marella, Ray shifts over to Tommy Dreamer, who has never gotten along with him. Dreamer is nothing but a phony who wants everyone to love him but that can’t happen.

Cue Mickie James to interrupt because Ray interrupted her big moment. Mickie finds it funny that Ray is calling Dreamer a politicking liar when that is all Ray does. Ray tells her to stop smiling and threatens violence before calling her a tramp. That earns Ray a slap so Ray slams her (NOT A SLAM!). Cue the Good Hands for a table but Dreamer makes the save. Violence is teased but here is Santino Marella to make Mickie/Dreamer vs. the Good Hands. That hardly seems fair.

Killer Kelly has already beaten Taylor Wilde but Wilde won’t leet it go. If Wilde wants another match, so be it. Cue Wilde, who wants to team with Kelly. The Death Dollz teleport in and the match seems to be made.

Johnny Swinger vs. Kenny King

Zicky Dice is here with Swinger, who is still trying to win 50 matches to get a World Title match. Swinger hides in the ropes over and over before bailing into the corner from the threat of a kick to the face. Dice offers a distraction but King kicks Swinger in the face anyway. The Royal Flush finishes Swinger at 1:43.

Post match King puts every champion on notice and says he’s coming for the titles.

Bully Ray comes up to Masha Slamovich and wants her to beat up Mickie James at No Surrender. Slamovich doesn’t seem to speak English.

Matt Cardona debuts a rap video in response to Joe Hendry. Apparently he’s going to take Hendry’s mom on a date. With the video over, Brian Myers reminds Cardona that he is married. No matter though, as Cardona is going to take the title.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Josh Alexander/Rich Swann/Frankie Kazarian/Yuya Uemura vs. Callihan/The Design

Callihan seems to have lost his first name. Deaner and Swann start things off but it’s off to Callihan before anything happens. Callihan takes over and hands it off to Deaner, who gets taken down. Uemura hits a dropkick to take over and Alexander comes in, with Deaner biting him head. Everything breaks down and Kon sends Swann to the apron, where a big flip dive takes out the pile at ringside.

We take a break and come back with Kazarian chopping Angels and Uemura nowhere to be seen. Kazarian hits the springboard legdrop but it’s off to Swann, who gets taken down for a change. Deaner comes in to drop an elbow before handing it off to Kon. Uemura is back on the apron as Kon works on a nerve hold. The Design takes turns beating on Swann, including Deaner hitting a middle rope dropkick.

Kon punches the post though and the diving tag brings in Alexander to clean house. Kon and Alexander have their big showdown with Alexander not being able to hit the German suplex. Everything breaks down and Deaner counters the C4 Spike. We hit the parade of secondary finishers until Deaner pushes Uemura off the top. The Cactus Driver finishes for Callihan at 16:45.

Rating: C+. This was a weird one as they did a lot of the stuff right, but it didn’t do anything to make more more interested in seeing Swann vs. Alexander. If nothing else, this was more about Callihan and the Design, which is hardly a story that I need to see keep going. It was a completely decent, if not pretty good, eight man main event, but I’m not sure how much it accomplished.

Overall Rating: C. Kind of a weird show here as it built towards a bunch of stuff, but I’m not sure how interesting most of it is going to be. The majority of the show’s big angles were Callihan/The Design and Mickie James/Tommy Dreamer vs. Bully Ray. That sounds like something you get from a random match generator rather than a regular show, but Impact has actually earned the benefit of the doubt lately. Not a bad show, but a skippable one.

Results
Bullet Club b. Kevin Knight/Kushida – Fold to Knight
Gisele Shaw b. Savannah Evans – Running knee
Crazzy Steve b. Sheldon Jean – Belladonna’s Kiss
Kenny King b. Johnny Swinger – Royal Flush
Design/Callihan b. Yuyu Uemura/Josh Alexander/Rich Swann/Frankie Kazarian – Cactus Driver to Uemura

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – January 19, 2023: They Broke The Trend

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 19, 2023
Location: Center Stage, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

We are done with Hard To Kill and that means it is time to go through the fallout period. The big story coming out of the show was Mickie James ending her Last Rodeo by defeating Jordynne Grace to become the new Knockouts Champion. Other than that, Josh Alexander is still the World Champion, having defeated Bully Ray in Full Metal Mayhem. Let’s get to it.

Here is Hard To Kill if you need a recap.

In Memory Of Jay Briscoe, with Tom Hannifan giving a brief voiceover about thoughts and prayers being with the Briscoe family.

Long Hard To Kill recap.

Here is Mickie James to get things going. The Last Rodeo may be over but Hardcore Country lives forever…and Bully Ray interrupts. Ray tells her to get out but James tells HIM to get out. Ray: “You were not in the main event of Hard To Kill.” Fans: “YES SHE WAS!” Ray insists that HE was the main event, not he and Josh Alexander. The reality is that no one cared about this place until he got here four months ago. James says the only headline she saw was BULLY RAY TAPPED OUT!

That doesn’t sit well with Ray, but Mickie keeps going about how Bully is just a bully who politics his way to the top. She knows how he feels about women in wrestling, so if he wants to, get rid of her. Cue Tasha Steelz and Savannah Evans, the former of which wants to see Ray go upside James’ head. Steelz says Mickie started the Last Rodeo because she can’t beat Tasha Steelz, which earns her a shove from James.

The challenge is thrown out (with Ray egging Steelz on) but Evans decks James. Ray grabs the table, which draws out Jordynne grace and Frankie Kazarian for the save. Cue Santino Marella to make a match, but he has to do math to figure out the right one. Cue…..ERNEST THE CAT MILLER of all people to say that since he used to be WCW’s Commissioner, he can offer some advice. The six person tag is made, following one of the most bizarre but oddly entertaining cameos I can remember in a long time.

Mickie James/Jordynne Grace/Frankie Kazarian vs. Bully Ray/Tasha Steelz/Savannah Evans

Steelz slugs away at grace to start before it’s off to Evans, who gets sent into the corner. Grace wants Ray, but the distraction lets Evans jump her from behind. That doesn’t last long either so it’s off to James for a nice reaction. Evans drops James as well but a hurricanrana out of the corner is good for a breather. Ray pulls James down from the apron though and we take a break.

Back with Ray slamming James and laying on the mat to add the trash talk. Steelz comes back in and we hit the chinlock but Mickie is back up again. Another kick sends James back into the corner though and the beating continues. A quick roll out of the corner gets James over to Grace, meaning house can be cleaned. Ray goes after Grace, who fireman’s carries him without much trouble. Kazarian comes in and hammers on Ray but James gets the tag, setting up the top rope Thesz press to finish Steelz at 13:57.

Rating: B-. This is the kind of fun match you want to start a show with and they even wrapped up James vs. Steelz so James can get on to another feud. Kazarian going after Ray is different and now I’m curious to see where that might go. Then again, Grace fighting Ray worked in a short bit and didn’t feel weird either, which is quite difficult to pull off.

Post match here is Masha Slamovich to give James the death warrant.

Santino Marella talks to Ernest Miller in the back and talks about a six way match with all former World Champions (Moose, Eddie Edwards, Sami Callihan, Rich Swann, Rhino, Chris Sabin) to crown a new #1 contender to Josh Alexander for No Surrender. Marella goes over to Dirty Dango but Steve Maclin interrupts. He wants to know why Rich Swann, who Maclin beat at Hard To Kill, is in the #1 contenders match. The result: Dango vs. Maclin tonight.

Ashley D’Amboise vs. Deonna Purrazzo

Purrazzo hammers her down to start and works on the arm, setting up the surfboard. A suplex gives Purrazzo two and a backbreaker gives Purrazzo two, as she pulls D’Amboise up. That’s enough to let D’Amboise get in a knee and a running flip neckbreaker. Purrazzo isn’t having this and hits a powerbomb into the Queen’s Gambit for the pin at 4:21.

Rating: C. I thought they might do the whole “squash until a fluke rollup” finish so nicely done on having Purrazzo look like a killer instead. She could use a reheating after a few down months so it was nice to see her wrecking people again. Not a classic or anything, but a completely fine squash.

A nervous Gia Miller goes to see PCO in the bowels of the building. When asked what is next, PCO screams a lot and shakes the cage wall.

Trey Miguel comes in to see Ashley D’Amboise and praises her skill, but she needs to hit the gym a bit more. D’Amboise: “Thank you.” Miguel: “Was that disrespect?” They argue until 73 year old Mike Jackson comes in to issue a challenge for title match next week.

Taylor Wilde vs. Killer Kelly

They do the creepy looks at each other until Wilde armdrags her into an armdrag. Back up and they trade shots up against the ropes with Wilde getting the better of things. A suplex sets up a guillotine choke to Kelly but she’s back up with forearms to the face. Wilde shrugs that off and hits a Codebreaker but gets sent to the apron. Kelly charges and lands in kind of a jumping Pedigree (that was cool) for a heck of a crash. That just makes Kelly smile at her and fire off some headbutts to take over. A quick Wilde Ride gives Wilde two so they trade rollups, with Kelly pulling her into the Killer Klutch for the tap at 7:15.

Rating: C+. This was a rather nice surprise as I wouldn’t have bet on seeing these two have an actually compelling match. I wasn’t sure who was going to win but Wilde looked sharper than she has since her return. The good thing is pushing Kelly though, as she feels different enough to be a threat while still being fresh. Nice job with this one.

On Before The Impact, Deaner made Sami Callihan take out an injured Delirious.

Deaner says that Callihan has to go through a seven step process and he has gone through two in a row. Next week, he is in the Golden Six Shooter #1 contenders match. Step three: win the title and bring it to the Design. What exactly is step #4?

Josh Alexander tells Santino Marella that he is fine with the #1 contenders match. Gisele Shaw and Jai Vidal come in, with Shaw saying she is owed a Knockouts Tag Team Title shot but needs a partner. Various women walk by and turn her down without as much as a second thought but Vidal seems interested. I don’t think that is going to pass.

Dirty Dango vs. Steve Maclin

Maclin starts fast and knocks Dango around the ring, only to have Dango fight up and chop away. That doesn’t last long either as Maclin sends him into the ropes for a running crotch attack to the back of the head. A backbreaker gets two on Dango and we hit the chinlock with a knee in the back. Dango fights up and fires off more chops, setting up the Dirtbag Shuffle (dancing legdrop). The top rope legdrop is loaded up but Maclin bails to the ramp. That’s fine with Dango, who hits a dive to take him out. Maclin is fine enough to backdrop him into the ring though and after the spear in the corner, the KIA finishes Dango at 5:41.

Rating: C. Maclin continues his rise to the top of the title picture as it is hard to imagine anyone else getting the title shot at Rebellion. Putting Maclin over a name like Dango is going to do him some good and it seems like he is going to be around for a bit. Dango is to the point where a loss isn’t going to hut him so this went fine all around.

The Major Players are ready for the Bullet Club next week. Moose comes up and says the Majors’ issues started when they lost to Joe Hendry. After they beat the Club, they’re coming for Hendry soon.

Busted Open Radio host Dave LaGreca sits down with co-host Tommy Dreamer to talk about their issues with other co-host Bully Ray. Both are upset with him but Dreamer won’t bring up their history together, including hooking Ray up with D-Von. Dreamer says he loses matches but not a war, and he’s going to war with Ray. Does he have to?

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Kenny King vs. Mike Bailey

Pit Fight, meaning no ropes and you only win by knockout or submission. They both miss some kicks to start until King takes him down and they go with the grappling on the mat. Back up and Bailey grabs a throw, sending King down to the floor for a breather. King gets back in and kicks Bailey to the floor for a whip into the steps. Bailey is sent head first into a light on the ramp to knock him silly as we take a break.

We come back with King firing off some knees to the chest and then dragon screw leg whipping Bailey down. Bailey, bleeding a bit, kicks King to the floor for a break before striking away back inside. The cross armbreaker has King in more trouble but he powerbombs his way to freedom. Bailey is fine enough to grab another armbreaker, only to be dragon screwed to the floor again. King nails a dive and grabs a chair before dodging a kick, sending Bailey’s foot into the post.

The Figure Four goes on but Bailey is out, setting up a run down the ramp into a running dropkick to send King outside. Then, after kicking a post with his bare foot, Bailey climbs to the top of the post and flip dives onto King. Tom: “Total nonstop action here in this Pit Fight!” The Ultimate Weapon is blocked though and King spinebusters him onto the apron. A kneebar goes on as the fans find this awesome. Bailey uses the chair from earlier for the save the moonsault knees knock King silly. A stomp onto the chair onto King’s head is good for the knockout at 16:41.

Rating: B. First of all, big points for trying something different. I’m not sure how much it was needed but they did try to go outside the box and it seemed to work. They beat each other up and it felt like the big close to the feud. Ignoring Bailey’s usual horrible selling (kick pose, King works the leg, Bailey does a bunch of flips and dives) and this was fun, with the fans certainly digging the heck out of it.

Overall Rating: B-. This was the show where everyone kind of stepped back and took a breath after the huge show last week and that’s cool. Sometimes you need to just chill for a bit and let the midcard take over while setting some things up for later. The six way match should be good and we can start getting ready for No Surrender, with Rebellion off in the distance. Nice show, and it’s great to see Impact shaking the tread of bad fallout from major pay per views.

Results
Mickie James/Jordynne Grace/Frankie Kazarian b. Bully Ray/Tasha Steelz/Savannah Evans – Top rope Thesz press to Steelz
Deonna Purrazzo b. Ashley D’Amboise – Queen’s Gambit
Killer Kelly b. Deonna Purrazzo – Killer Klutch
Steve Maclin b. Dirty Dango – KIA
Mike Bailey b. Kenny King via knockout

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.