Monday Night Raw
Date: June 18, 2001
Location: Ice Palace, Tampa, Florida
Attendance: 10,264
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

It’s the go home show for King of the Ring and that’s about all we’ve got for that show. The tournament gets set tonight I think and we have a main event, but other than that I don’t remember anything being made for the card. The Invasion would get its first big name at that PPV though, so at least there’s that. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is from Smackdown with Austin trying to get a petition together to present to Linda that says the triple threat is unfair. Spike ripped it up when Austin called Molly a bimbo, resulting in Spike getting a world title shot.

Dudleys/Austin vs. Canadians/Spike later. Now this is where things get confusing. That’s what the graphic says, but JR says it’s just Dudleys vs. Canadians for the titles. Oh boy. I wonder who’s getting fired over this one. Now the Dudleys would indeed get a title match later this week on Smackdown (and they’d win the belts), but that’s not what we saw on the screen.

We open with Spike and Molly of all people. Spike talks about how he’s shocked to have been in this ring and gotten to wrestle for the WWF Title and that could have been his moment in the sun. However, Austin had to go after Molly after that, so Spike calls out Austin. Heyman’s reaction is very funny.

Austin and Spike introduce themselves and Austin says he’s not going to be called out by someone like Spike. Spike says he just did and Austin starts to walk away. Spike asks the fans and they want to see it for the title. Austin still says no but says Spike has guts. No one else would, but Molly is still a bimbo. Spike: “YOU TAKE THAT BACK!” Molly slaps Austin and Heyman erupts. Austin looks….happy? That earned Molly respect so Austin sticks his hand out. Spike shakes it and Austin pulls him but doesn’t attack. Molly however gets a Stunner though.

During the break, the Dudleys didn’t seem mad.

Molly is getting looked at and the Dudleys show up. They praise Spike for standing up for himself. However, they want to know what’s wrong with a picture when Spike has been here three months and has gotten a title shot while they’ve gotten zero in a year and a half. Spike says he’ll do something about it.

Now the graphic says the titles are on the line in the main event. Interesting.

King of the Ring Quarterfinals: Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Hardy

This would be a TNA PPV main event today, almost 11 years later. Angle snaps off a quick German and Jeff is in trouble. He goes after the leg but Jeff speeds things up and we go to the floor where Jeff runs the railing into a clothesline. Angle hits the release German this time but the Slam is countered. A jawbreaker looks to set up the Swanton but Kurt rolls away before Jeff jumps. The moonsault is as gorgeous as ever but Kurt misses, allowing Jeff to hit the Swanton for two. Jeff goes up but gets pulled down into the ankle lock for the tap out.

Rating: B-. What the heck was that??? Jeff Hardy is a midcard guy on his best day in 2001 but this was AWESOME. Well, awesome all things considered. I mean it was just a three minute match but they cranked out a very fun match here, especially when you consider where Jeff was on the ladder at this point. Jeff’s best match ever might have been with Kurt in 2010 so this isn’t really shocking.

Austin needs someone to talk to who understands him. His wife, Debra, volunteers. Austin: “I said someone that understands me.” Debra says understands about titles because she used to be champion. Austin laughs and Debra is hurt.

Tajiri and Regal are talking about the tournament which Tajiri is in when Austin enters. Spike asked for a match with him and Regal made the aforementioned six man, saying the title match will wait for tomorrow. Austin says he’ll do it but he needs someone to talk to and he picks….Tajiri? Regal is confused but goes along with it and leaves.

Tough Enough commercial. Josh Matthews is I believe the only one left from that season.

Tazz, one of the Tough Enough trainers, says that there’s a preview at WWF New York. Hardcore Holly comes up to make fun of him and a match is made.

Kane is at WWF New York…and he’s playing a crane game to win prizes. He doesn’t win so he breaks the glass and steals a bunch which he gives to a kid. You know, I watched a Raw earlier today and Kane was about to win the world title from Austin. The last thing I expected him to do was play a crane game to win prizes. Just throwing that out there.

We recap the Undertaker’s wife stalker thing with Sara being stalked. That’s about it.

Taz vs. Hardcore Holly

The entrances are cut off by a new stalker video of the stalker watching Taker and his wife leaving their house. She almost comes into what I guess is a garage where he is but doesn’t. The voice says tonight he’ll reveal himself. Back to the match. Holly starts out fast with his usual stuff and drops a top rope leg for two. Taz comes back but walks into a powerslam. And there’s the Tazmission out of nowhere to end this.

Austin explains how Linda McMahon is ruining his life. Tajiri replies in Japanese as Austin rants against women. Austin thanks him for the talk and bows to him. Regal comes in and says that Tajiri is up next. Funny stuff at least.

Christian isn’t happy that he has to face Big Show and teases tension with Edge. Angle breaks it up.

King of the Ring Quarterfinals: Rhyno vs. Tajiri

The winner gets the winner of Edge vs. Saturn. Lillian sounded a step off on the announcing for some reason. Rhyno takes over with power but Tajiri ranas him down and they go to the floor. Back in a spinebuster gets two for Rhyno. Tajiri hits the handspring elbow which is always cool. There’s an Octopus Hold which he shifts into the Tarantula. Buzzsaw kick misses and Rhyno powerbombs him half through the ring. Rhyno loads up the Gore but Tajiri KICKS HIS FREAKING HEAD OFF to counter. Tajiri goes up for some reason but jumps into a Gore for the pin.

Rating: C+. Not as good as the opener but that ending was very good stuff. There’s something awesome about seeing Tajiri just kick the tar out of people and also seeing Rhyno blast someone with a Gore. This was very entertaining and the show is on a roll to start so far.

Post break Regal GOES OFF on Regal. I mean there’s a vein coming out of his head.

Here’s Taker…..or not. It’s the Stalker as Taker is in Houston. He immediately unmasks and it’s Diamond Dallas Page to an ERUPTION. Yep they’re cheering a crazy stalker. He says Taker never saw this coming, just like a Diamond Cutter. Page talks about doing this because he wanted to make an impact, so he went after the biggest dog in the yard.

A few weeks ago, Taker went off on Austin for mentioning Taker’s family. Taker said he’d make Austin famous if he tried that. “You idiot, Steve Austin is already famous!” He says Taker is a liar for some reason so he wants to be famous and he wants to use Taker to get him there. He’ll be at King of the Ring. Security chases him off. Ross tries to tie it into the Invasion but it only kind of works.

King of the Ring Quarterfinals: Edge vs. Perry Saturn

Saturn is nuts still. We get a clip from a double date on Thursday and Saturn took another shot to the head. See it’s funny because he has brain damage and might go psycho and murder his wife and children before killing himself. Get it? Saturn starts fast and pops Christian but walks into an Edge-O-Matic for two. Edge is in control but Saturn grabs a crucifix for two. Edge goes up but jumps into a belly to belly suplex. Fisherman’s suplex gets two. Christian gets kicked in the face and the Impaler ends Saturn.

Rating: D+. Not great but WAY down from what we had been seeing so far tonight. Edge would be about to start his singles push which didn’t really stop for the rest of his career. Saturn just kept getting hit in the face until he found a mop that he liked better than Terri and that was about it.

Vince arrives, over halfway through the show.

Foley was on Regis and…..Tony Danza?

European Title: Matt Hardy vs. Albert

Albert was in the middle of pretty much the push of his life and he runs over Matt to start. A splash misses though and Matt can keep hitting and running. Matt jumps into a gorilla press attempt which he escapes and hits a running tornado DDT for two. Paul: “Albert is the Rabbi of Retribution.” JR: “Oy vey.” Albert destroys him until he chokes too long for a DQ. Weak.

Pac and Credible run in and hit a double superkick. Jeff runs in and takes them both down. Lita hits the usual gorgeous top rope rana. Albert gets back in it and destroys everyone.

Vince is with Austin and Austin feels good. Austin is getting in touch with his feelings and Vince isn’t wild on it. Austin rants about the divorce and says pick Austin or Linda.

During the break Vince left.

Spike thanks the Canadians for helping Molly last week. Benoit goes off on him, talking about how this wasn’t about him at all. And then they crack up laughing.

Edge and Rhyno get into an argument over who should be #1 contender if they win the tournament. Christian comes in and whines again.

King of the Ring Quarterfinals: Big Show vs. Christian

Angle is on commentary. Christian jumps him and just guess how well that goes. Edge tries to interfere which goes about as well. Show destroys him but they go to the announce table and Angle gets shoved for running his mouth. An Angle distraction allows the Conchairto to end Show and Christian puts all of Team RECK in the final four.

Steve Austin/Dudley Boys vs. Spike Dudley/Chris Benoit/Chris Jericho

Jericho vs. Bubba to start things off. Ray uses power to start but runs into the speed of Jericho. Off to Benoit and D-Von and the Canadian hits a German on the Dudley. Spike comes in with a double stomp and a rana to have D-Von in trouble. Here comes Austin to pound on Spike. Things finally calm down as Spike remembers he’s Spike and Austin remembers he’s Austin and the beating begins.

Austin calls for some tables but isn’t happy when they come out for some reason. Back to Bubba after Austin freaks due to getting rolled up for two. Bubba loads up What’s Up and both Austin and D-Von go up at the same time. That’s rather awesome. The middle rope backsplash misses and there’s the tag to Benoit. Everything breaks down and D-Von is sent through a table by Jericho.

Dudley Dog to Bubba and it’s time for the Canadian to hit Rolling Germans on the American. The Swan Dive misses though and Austin takes over. A Dudley Dog attempt results in Spike going through a table and Austin grabs a chair. Jericho comes back in for the save and we get the insanely awesome Walls of Crossface double submission to make Austin tap. Hebner asks about 4 times before calling for the bell.

Rating: C+. This was fine for a six man main event and most importantly, it made Jericho and Benoit look like a legit threat for the championship. Until then it was a bunch of fluke victories in tag matches. This was good stuff though as Austin looked like he was about to snap in that double hold.

Overall Rating: B. With all of the good to very good matches tonight, this was a pretty awesome Raw. Throw in that with the comedy from Austin and Vince and how can you go wrong? The DDP thing would be pretty underwhelming on Sunday but that’s life. Also very little mention of Angle vs. Shane, but the focus was on the tournament so that’s ok. Good show here.

Here’s King of the Ring if you’re interested:

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King of the Ring 1998
Date: June 28, 1998
Location: Pittsburgh Civic Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 17,087
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Ok, so here it is: by far and away the most famous match in both the King of the Ring and in the careers of Mankind, Taker and Kane. It’s the Cell tonight, with Taker and Mankind redefining what hardcore is in both the WWF but in the mainstream wrestling world.

Aside from that, we’re in uncharted waters here as the WWF is finally in the lead in the Monday Night Wars thanks to Hogan vs. Sting being the biggest disaster in wrestling history and Austin being the biggest star ever. The rest of the card is forgotten here for the most part other than the double main event and I think there’s good reason for that. Let’s see if it holds up 11 years later though.

Your main story here is that Kane is getting a shot to “claim his destiny” of being champion by facing Austin in a first blood match. It’s a big part of the Austin McMahon feud. If Kane loses, he’ll set himself on fire. The video opening focuses on the two big matches of course nothing at all about the tournament.

Headbangers/Taka Michinoku vs. Kaientai

Taka is dressed like a Headbanger, meaning a skirt. As for a story, there isn’t one. The announcers say that this is the first of two matches that weren’t advertised and were thrown onto the card earlier in the day. That means I’ll be lighter on them as there’s no hype to lead up to and it’s a bonus. Free extra wrestling is never a bad thing so let’s get to it.

It should be noted that at least part of this is being written during the Little People’s Court episode of Raw so I might sound a bit annoyed and likely will be. Also expect a few jokes about it. Some of these guys were at Barely Legal just over a year before this and they had a decent match. Taka is Light Heavyweight Champion here and is failing in the division as the whole thing failed completely.

He’s split from Kaientai obviously and is feuding with them for no apparent reason. Like I said there’s no story here so we’re going on wrestling alone. Lawler is totally anti-Taka here as he beat his son for the title in the finals of a tournament. Not a lot happens in this seven minutes of a match as the faces win after a Michinoku Driver.

Rating: D-. Wait this was on the PPV? I honestly thought this was a dark match. Nothing at all happened here and there was nothing resembling a story. If nothing else give us a stupid backstage segment or something, but give us a reason for having this. I had no reason to care about it which made the sloppy wrestling even worse.

Sable comes out looking somehow conservative (for her at least). She was brought back after being released in storylines. Her pop is epic. She introduces Vince and the Stooges, who won’t have music for another 8 months. The fans want Austin obviously. Sable slaps the TAR out of Patterson, drawing a semi hidden gay joke from Ross. Vince runs down the crowd and says its their faults that their lives suck. He says he’s preparing the audience for the new champion tonight.

We FINALLY see the brackets for the tournament, nearly half an hour into the show.

Shamrock
Jarrett

Rock
Severn

Maybe they made the right move. So I don’t have to do it later: Shamrock beat Henry, Jarrett beat Mero, Rock beat HHH and Severn beat Owen.

King of the Ring Semi-Finals: Jeff Jarrett vs. Ken Shamrock

This was when Jarrett was the world’s greatest singer or something like that. He has Robert Parker with him and no one cared. Shamrock gets a very solid pop. Jarrett gets…nothing. Apparently Shamrock has an ankle issue which is great irony. In the battle of future TNA Champions (somehow that’s in 4 years), Shamrock more or less massacres Jarrett.

It’s 5 minutes so there’s not a ton of time to do much, but they manage to get in a very decent little match considering the time. In five minutes, they manage to get in Shamrock dominating, the manager helping change the advantage, Jarrett working on the knee and injuring it further, Shamrock botching a move, and the ankle lock.

Considering the length of time they were given, that’s VERY impressive. They put together a nice little match with even a hint of a story in there. That’s not bad at all. Like I said, Shamrock wins easily with the tap out though. Shamrock says he’ll win again later. Thanks for that Ken.

Rating: B. Like I said in the description, the match was good for what it was considering that the match had 5 minutes to work with. They managed to get in some decent stuff and had a little flow to the match. That’s just awesome and very impressive for what would have been considered a short TV match.

We see the brackets because we can’t remember one of three matches.

King of the Ring Semi-Finals: Dan Severn vs. The Rock

Either one of these would work, but that would involve Severn actually wrestling twice in one night. Although if there was anyone on the planet that could get anything decent out of him, it’s Shamrock. Severn had been NWA Champion for about three years now. What does that tell you about that company? The Nation is sent to the back. Rock had already broken through the ceiling and it was realized that he would be a big deal, but like Austin two years earlier, no one knew how big.

Oh and D’lo has been injured by Severn here and is channeling his inner Bob Orton with his chest injury. I think Servern’s mustache could take Kama in a good match. Severn’s tights are swallowing him whole I think. Sever keeps using various submission holds that never work. About two minutes into the match we get the graphic telling us that this is the semi final match. Severn likes to use joints apparently.

Make your own humorous lines here. After a relatively boring 4 minutes, Henry comes out and D’Lo debuts the chest protector with the frog splash to let Rock get the pin. Well that was short at least.

Rating: D. This was just a waste of time. It was sloppy and boring and everyone knew Rock would win. Oh and the IC Title is apparently superior to the NWA Title. Brown’s interference made sense at least so I can’t complain about something like that. The match was boring though. We’re really just treading water before the main events.

Too Much vs. Al Snow/Head

Yes Head, a mannequin head, is Snow’s partner. Too Much would later be known as Too Cool. We kept hearing about Snow wanting to stay but it wouldn’t work. Snow kept getting in trouble but blaming it on Head. That’s smart at least. This is in the video recap but I don’t feel like going back and editing this to make it right. Head stole the crown and they get a meeting with Vince if they win tonight.

Scotty looks weird with short blonde hair. Christopher looks stupid no matter what. Snow is in the back and Lawler talks to them and he makes fun of them and it goes nowhere. This is pre cool music but post peak of Snow’s powers. There are however a bunch of guys with Styrofoam heads bobbing them back and forth though. Jerry is announced as the guest referee to make it three on one. Oh sorry. Three on two.

Snow’s talented enough to count I guess. Oh oddly enough, Snow used to be a character called Avatar, a genie. How sad is it that Snow is more talented than all three heels combined by about 100 miles? Taylor tags in Christopher, only a master sexay at this moment I guess. Lawler has his crown on by the way. More or less this was designed to let Snow show off, which really was a good idea and something they needed to do more often.

Snow reaches for a tag and Christopher bites his hand. I’m not sure if I want to see him in the indys or not. He was terrible in the mainstream so how bad were they in a territory based company. Ross wonders who picked Lawler as the referee. My guess would be a combination of the writing team and Vince McMahon but what do I know?

I love that wheelbarrow suplex that Snow likes to use. Snow tags in Head and Ross has lost it. Snow covers Taylor as Lawler goes to the announce table and grabs something. Christopher covers head with a bottle of Head and Shoulders for the pin. Oh it was to make sure that the shoulders were down.

Rating: D+. Well it was a cute idea I guess and Snow got to show off out there, but seriously, Too Much being on my screen more than 5 minutes just makes my head hurt so this just failed completely for me. This wasn’t much and it was really just a comedy match so take it for what it is I guess.

We recap X-Pac vs. Owen. That translates to DX vs. Nation in their never ending feud. Ok so it ended at Summerslam 1998 in the ladder match but whatever.

Owen Hart vs. X-Pac

Well these two had a 4 minute CLASSIC at the 94 show so let’s see if this is even close. Something tells me no as this is around the time where Pac sucks. Ross complains that Lawler has no refereeing license. That cracks me up. Ross, of course, is ticked off. Yeah I’m right as it’s just decent. Hart never clicked in the Nation but they ran with it anyway.

Anyone that says Owen never would have gotten the world title is an idiot to me. He was consistently working hard and was talented. Owen apparently is a big deal in South Africa. Ok then. Pac takes a GREAT throw through the timekeeper’s table. That looked awesome. He freaking destroyed that thing. We go back in the ring and this is quite a physical match.

If you’re ever looking for a working definition of chemistry, this is a good place to start. After some more hard hitting stuff, we have Mark Henry, because this match was begging for a run in of course. He hits a splash on Pac on the floor to crush whatever he had in his ribs. Chyna comes out and looks hot and gets in Henry’s face.

This results in Vader of all people jumping Henry. Vader would be gone in a few months and was worthless here but whatever. In the ring Owen has the Sharpshooter on Pac who of course taps to further his tough guy image but Chyna hits a DDT for him to get the pin with. We get a nice thong shot out of that if nothing else.

Rating: B. More good stuff from this pair as they never fail to have a solid match. The ending was overbooked but that’s what happens in stable feuds I guess. This wasn’t bad, but it was nothing compared to what they did four years prior. It was more about the Nation and DX than the guys, but that’s the point I suppose.

And here’s Paul Bearer for no apparent reason. He somehow got more annoying than he was last year. He was beaten up by Taker in his house on Raw and is here to see Taker get beaten up. Oh and he wants Kane to win the title.

Ad for Mania.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. New Midnight Express

The New Midnights, a remake of perhaps the best heel tag team of all time, are comprised of Bombastic Bob and Bodacious Bart. In other words: Bob Holly and Bart Gunn. God save us all. The Outlaws are insanely over here. The heels’ theme music sounds like a theme song from a bad 80s cartoon. Naturally Cornette is with them and they’re the NWA tag champion. Oh I got their names backwards.

It’s Bodacious Bob and Bombastic Bart. I hate my life. They leave out the brotherhood of two of the wrestlers here. Oh they both also have long mullets. This is the other unadvertised bonus match. Oh dear. We get a South Park reference which was in I think its second season at this time. Lawler goes on a REALLY long rant about how this is what’s in today and it’s nothing that no one hasn’t heard before.

Apparently this match already happened on Shotgun Saturday Night once. The announcers more or less try to avoid talking about the match itself, with my guess being over boredom. What’s with the Outlaws’ and DX’s fascination for that matter by being orally copulated by men? Somehow Road Dogg is the best worker in this match and that’s a scary thought. We haven’t even been told which Midnight is which and we’re five minutes into this.

Yeah even Ross isn’t sure who is who out there. The names suck too. How did we go from Lover Boy to Bombastic? Cornette is freaking loyal to that freaking NWA man. Lawler tries to keep track of the names as I’m guessing Vince said something to them along the lines of talk about what I freaking want you to talk about or you’re fired. Either that or I know they suck but we were short on time.

Apparently the Outlaws didn’t know about this match until this morning. Why do I find that stupid? Ross finally gives up and calls him Bob, who drops an F Bomb on Billy.  Cornette finally does something and the match is starting to get better as a result. Billy goes for a piledriver and gets a belt to the back of the head from Cornette for two. He tries it again but Chyna hits him low for the save. Outlaws win with a hot shot. Chyna should have worn her hair up more.

Rating: C-. This was just painfully bad at times but for some reason I kind of liked it. If it was thrown on there, you can only get so mad at it. The Outlaws were ok here and far better than their challengers. This got them another successful title defense which is never bad for champions. It’s not bad but I’ve seen far better matches.

HHH comes out to do commentary on the finals as last year’s King. Better than no reason at all I guess. He feels the need to rip his shirt off too.

King of the Ring Finals: Ken Shamrock vs. Rock

HHH hates Rock here as you likely guessed as it’s sometime between the beginning of their careers and the present. Shamrock is in his zone as HHH is far less obnoxious than he is now. Lawler doesn’t like Rock for some reason. Rock is still having the name Maivia thrown around. Oddly enough, Chyna does the Spanish commentary. That’s rather cool.

HHH says this is a family show. What the heck isn’t a family show then? Rock has the character and personality down but he doesn’t have the in ring stuff down yet. HHH spits water in Rock’s face to tick him off but Shamrock gets the advantage because of it. HHH threatens Rock for later. Two months from now, they certainly would in the awesome ladder match at Summerslam. Shamrock’s leg is allegedly hurt but he’s showing no signs of it.

HHH makes me stop the match by saying it doesn’t matter who you kiss up to but rather who can go in the ring. Note that he hadn’t married Stephanie yet, but that’s just absolutely hilarious. Rock gets the People’s Elbow. I haven’t talked about the match much, but HHH is far more interesting than the in ring stuff. It’s not bad, but you can tell that things aren’t really being focused on these matches as they’re saving for the two main events.

That would likely be the best thing in the long run. Ross says that the handicap that Lawler refereed earlier in the night set the business back 20 years. That would work as Ross is 20 years behind us anyway. We get a double count as Ross suggests that would mean overtime, which would mean the count out means nothing at all since there has to be a winner.

Rock counters a rana into a hot shot which was a cool looking spot. Just after that though Shamrock hooks the ankle for the tap out and the crown. We hear about how tough he is for the 100th time tonight.

Rating: B-. This wasn’t that bad. HHH was hilarious as the incredibly tough sounding guy. They had a good match here but Shamrock should have won. Rock was already the IC Champion so that’s fine. I don’t think Rock has ever beaten Shamrock clean actually. This wasn’t great or anything, but it did what it was supposed to do.

The Cell is lowered and we get the sound bytes that are now famously associated with the Cell itself. This is one of the most quotable matches ever, right up there with Hogan and Andre. They don’t even bother with a recap as it’s just known that these two hate each other.

Undertaker vs. Mankind

Now this was an interesting case for several reasons. First of all, this had been done once before so people knew what it was like, but instead of having Shawn who would run from Taker in there, Foley was crazy and no one knew what he would do. Foley brings the chair to the ring, and in his own words or as close to his book as I can remember, makes his first big mistake of the match and starts the match on top of the cage like Terry Funk suggested.

That should have been a bad omen right there. In case you don’t like insane violence, I would advise you to leave. Once you go that, I would advise you to get over it and grow a set of balls. You’re a wrestling fan blast it now act like one. Even 11 years later I’m uneasy watching this match. There’s an eruption for the gong and when the lights go out the lighters go up which is always cool.

This was right around the time when Taker was becoming demonic thanks to Vince, leading to the Ministry period which Taker wasn’t incredibly fond of. And there goes Taker and you know what’s coming next. Foley punches him on his way up there, which is dangerous in its own right. Foley has a chair up there with him. The wide shot of this is just awesome looking.

Taker is grabbed by Foley and steps through the Cell a bit, which is bad sign number two. That gets a noticeable gasp from the audience. You could feel that something huge was coming and they’re setting up for it. And there it is. Taker grabs Foley from behind and throws him off the Cell where he falls 15 feet to land, actually make that crash, onto a table and then to the concrete.

Ross’ legendary shouting of As God as my witness, he is broken in half and They’ve killed him make the moment that much better. This bump changed wrestling forever, as this easily becomes the biggest bump in history and is still to this day the standard that everything tries to live up to. No one saw this coming and it scared the heck out of a lot of people, myself included.

I mean seriously, he got launched 15 feet to the floor. He does that even slightly wrong and he’s dead. Not injured or out of action. Dead. Taker legit thought he had killed him for a bit there and I can’t say I blame him. Ross and Lawler are STUNNED. You have to remember that Foley isn’t a small man. He’s about 6’2 and 300lbs going easy on him. That’s just completely mind blowing when you think about it.

Terry Funk is here and he takes the table off of Foley as Taker is still standing on top of the cage. I’ll even excuse Ross’ stupid line of this might be the shortest Cell match ever, as it’s the second of all time due to the situation at the moment. On the constant replays you can see the crowd rising up for it and it’s a completely awesome sight. Now something that isn’t notmally taken into consideration is Taker during this part.

Think about what he’s going through here. His character is that of an emotionless killing machine, and he’s possibly just killed a man or crippled him. He now has to stand up on top of the Cell and wonder what he’s just done. They raise the Cell to get Foley out as Taker is going even higher up in the air. To scare me to my core, Taker gets cheered for this. Attitude Era fans were bloodthirsty man.

They lower the cage and it hits the steps because they’re kind of stupid but whatever. And now just to blow whatever remains of the minds of everyone on the planet, Foley gets up and while smiling, climbs the cage again. His left shoulder is completely out of socket or he’s a great actor, and here we go again.

Taker is STUNNED. And now in the spot that allegedly did the majority of the damage to Foley and was COMPLETELY unplanned, Taker chokeslams Foley through the Cell to the mat and the chair falls with him, slamming into Foley’s head on the mat and knocking him completely out cold. Foley has said that the cage was loosened but not to that extent.

The idea had been to have it sag in the middle but not break and then have him fall from about 8 feet instead of what happened here. He also said he doesn’t remember most of what happened after that and didn’t remember it until he watched it on tape and still doesn’t remember all of it. Those two bumps both made Foley famous but also ended his active career eventually as he never completely healed from them.

Ross and Lawler again make the match with their calls of That’s it he’s dead and Will somebody stop the match! Again, remember that Taker didn’t expect his. Taker hops down to the mat and beats up Funk and then goes after Foley. They were supposed to end it almost immediately after that but Foley refused. Now somewhere in here, Taker breaks his ankle or he had it broken coming in so he goes really slowly.

Granted that helps Foley a lot because Taker goes a lot more slowly than usual so Foley can try to get something together. We get the famous shot of Foley with his tooth in his nose and him trying to put his tongue through the hole in his lip for some reason which makes him look like he’s smiling in probably the defining shot of the Mankind character.

Foley is somehow on offense here and knocks Taker to the floor, which I think is where he breaks the ankle. Somehow that’s a tiny injury. No he’s still walking around fine.

Taker’s shirt is ripped to pieces here. Taker dives through the ropes for Foley but Foley collapses and Taker eats cage and now he’s bleeding. Yeah the foot/ankle is messed up now. Foley hits a piledriver on a chair for two. Foley’s arm might have popped back in as it’s looking better. Since this match hasn’t been insane enough, Foley goes under the ring and gets out a bag, comtaining thumbtacks.

You can hear in Lawler’s voice that he thinks this is insane. You also have to remember that this was something that hadn’t been done before. Abyss hadn’t made this a standard thing yet so this truly was shocking at the time. Taker counters into the Tombstone but Mankind counters into the Mandible Claw. Somehow Taker stands up with Foley on his back and there they go as he goes back first into them.

You could see a slight bit of padding under Foley’s shirt, but none over his arms. After the match in the locker room when they were being looked at, Foley asked if he got to use the tacks. Taker replied “Mick, look at your arm.” Then he gets a chokeslam on them. In a moment that’s overlooked, Foley more or less no sells the chokeslam and is up in about 3 seconds. The Tombstone mercifully, at least I guess you could call it that, ends it.

Jerry says that just after I type it so I win there. Foley’s wife more or less insisted that he retire after this but of course that didn’t happen. To say this was insane would be an understatement. It’s the most violent mainstream match in history and I don’t think it’s ever going to be topped. Yeah there’s more violent stuff in indy companies and in Japan, but that’s designed to be like that.

This was the WWF more or less saying screw WCW, we can go to a place that no one is ever going to top and then they went out and did it. Also, the fans cared and weren’t in it for a freak show. That’s why this is different. Foley WALKS OUT. There’s being tough and being stupid and he passed stupid a few miles back. The fans give him a standing ovation and Foley is a legend.

Rating: A-. Now I’ve heard a lot of people criticize this match and say it’s garbage and what not, and the reply I always give is the same. Look at the name of the match: Hell in a Cell. Hell. Does that sound like a pleasant, old school, Lou Thesz vs. Dory Funk special? No not really. It sounds completely insane and violent. That’s the point of this and that’s what it was.

It was supposed to be completely over the top and crazy. You can’t grade this on the same scale you grade a traditional match on. Violence like this is effective as all hell when it’s in moderation, which is what ECW never learned. The violent matches are fine, but they need something to balance them out. Anyway, this was a classic in a sense, and it made both men all the more famous.

We recap Austin vs. Kane which started when Kane beat Taker to become the number one contender. This was around the time when the massive conspiracy was coming out as more or less everyone was against Austin but no one knew what was really going on. It was some combination of Vince, Mankind, Taker and Kane against Austin but no one was sure whose side Taker was on or why Mankind was on one side or another.

The paranoia and the sneakiness were awesome here as it had us all glued to our seats. Vince makes it first blood which helps Kane a lot as he wears a mask. This is reminiscent of Lex Luthor vs. Superman as Vince couldn’t beat Austin on his own so he kept sending his minions after him. It was freaking amazing stuff and is the main reason why they won the Monday Night Wars.

WWF Title: Kane vs. Steve Austin

I remember a buddy of mine once saying he wondered why Austin didn’t come out with a needle or something and poke Kane for the win. They covered that and it’s a good thing they did as it was a great point. Crowd pops like CRAZY for Austin. He had a staph infection in his elbow so it’s incredibly taped up. Austin is in the air for the Thesz Press before the bell finishes ringing. Naturally this is no DQ so the belt shot in the first few seconds is fine.

The only skin on Kane that’s visible is his left hand. I beat Lawler to that line again! This is reminiscent of the tables match with Cena and Sheamus as Kane doesn’t actually have to get a clean win on Austin but he can get the title, which is brilliant. And here comes the Cell. The cage stops about 8 inches above Austin’s throat which is kind of scary when you think about it.

I really hope that’s padding on Austin’s elbow and not a result of the infection as it’s probably the size of a brick or so. Austin’s back is bleeding a bit which is why I think they put in the it has to be a lot of blood clause into it, just in case of something like that. Now the Cell is going up just as Austin is in control. In a cool looking spot, Kane is caught on the door frame and is raised into the air.

That’s really awesome looking. We see Vince in the luxury box with Sable which gets a lot of heat. Dang the crowd loves Austin. Austin is dominating here and he hits Kane in the face with a fan. That has to hurt. There goes the referee which is pointless as it’s no DQ. Kane hits that top rope clothesline to put Kane down. Vince apparently can see from a box perfectly well. That strikes me as odd.

We keep hearing that if Kane loses he’ll set himself on fire, more or less confirming that he’s winning. However, the body suit could say otherwise. Here’s Mick Foley of all people. And here’s the Cell again. Yeah that’s a pad on his arm as some of the tape came off. Kane takes a Stunner and here’s Taker with a chair. He swings for Foley but hits Austin who is also holding a chair, knocking it into his face.

And Austin is bleeding as Taker throws the referee back in. Taker, ever the nice guy, pours the gasoline at ringside on the referee to wake him up. Austin gets a SICK chairshot to Kane and the referee rings it and as the fans see his face they almost go silent. The booing for Kane being announced as the new champion is insane. We cut to Vince who mouths the words I told you so to Sable as we go off the air.

We get bonus footage of after the show and I mean right after it as Kane’s music is still playing when it starts. The referee is out cold, I’d assume at the hands of Austin and Mankind is coming back. The fans voices their disapproval and I mean LOUDLY. Foley gets beaten up even more as Austin’s music plays and he leaves.

Rating: B+. Again, this isn’t something you can grade on a regular scale. It was mainly furthering the conspiracy and on that level it did very well. Obviously Austin would get the belt back the next night as Kane was champion less than 24 hours.

The title would eventually be held up and after a bunch of complicated stuff the Deadly Game tournament happened where Rock became the big heel after becoming the big face over the fall. This was a complete insane fight which was what it was supposed to be. For a gimmick match like this, it came out great and the interference here is fine. The Cell part was a little bit much but it worked very well.

Overall Rating: B. This show is very overlooked due to the Cell and with good reason. The rest of it is pretty good though and the main events both deliver very well, making up for the earlier weak stuff. Definitely check this out as it might play as big of a role in the Attitude Era as anything other than a Mania. This was a good show and is heavy on Attitude stuff, which is what makes it all the better. Definitely check this out, if nothing else for the historical aspects of it.

 

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King of the Ring 2001
Date: June 24, 2001
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 17,777
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

Well, we’ve hit a new era, as there is no more WCW. Back in March, Vince bought them out and now owns the wrestling world. This allows for the company to more or less do whatever they want, meaning they can play around a bit more. Also, Austin is back, which is obviously a huge deal.

The InVasion hasn’t started just yet but it begins tonight in the main event. Aside from the tournament, we have Austin vs. Jericho vs. Benoit for the title and an awesome street fight with Shane vs. Angle. This, at least on paper, is about 100x better than the previous two years. Let’s get to it.

Here are your brackets:

Kurt Angle
Christian

Rhyno
Edge

The intro shows a ton of clips of the matches while throwing in shots of a throne. I think I kind of like that but I’m not sure. There’s also a showdown between DDP and Taker because DDP was stalking Taker’s hot wife Sara. This led to DDP being the biggest botch of a character in recorded history but we’ll get to that in another review.

The set is completely awesome as it’s a massive throne that looks like an electric chair and when I say massive, I mean taller than the Titantron is now. DDP comes to the ring through the crowd to bad music. He’s a WCW contracted wrestler so keep that in mind as it means nothing at all. He had been stalking Taker’s wife and filming her all the time, including in the shower etc.

He says he has a big collection of it, and I marvel at how much they would manage to screw this up. They turned him into a motivational speaker character. Think about that for a minute. He has a ticket, which apparently entitles him to his own entrance music, a microphone and ring time. I want a ticket like that.

Apparently either Benoit or Jericho could defect to WCW. That’s a HUGE possible storyline that they just completely failed on as neither did and then other than Austin and Angle, no one that I can remember of any note ever did.

KOTR Semi-Finals: Kurt Angle vs. Christian

Edge and Christian have outgrown the tag division at this point and are rapidly moving up the ladder in the singles ranks. Ok more Edge than Christian but they’re certainly becoming more popular and more talented. Angle beat Hardcore Holly and Jeff Hardy while Christian beat Kane and Big Show. See what I mean? Angle is the defending tournament winner so he could become the first repeat winner.

Also he’s a lot more like his normal self as he’s far more intense and less silly, and the muscle mass is there now so he looks much better too. You can see that there’s a bit more intense style now too as they’re wrestling a more crisp style and staying in the ring more, as the Attitude Era is either dead or close to being dead. They list off Angle’s rookie accomplishments and it’s just freaking ridiculous how hard this guy was pushed.

Angle keeps looking up which implies a run in to me. Christian is hanging in there if nothing else. And yep there’s Shane, who is fighting Angle later on tonight. The moonsault misses as Angle is yelling at Shane and Christian gets two off of it. The crowd is rather hot tonight too. Angle counters the Unprettier into the ankle lock, but after some counters Christian hits the Unprettier, but Shane pulls Christian out.

That does a few things. One, it makes Christian look strong as he had Angle pinned off a clean Unprettier, which would have been the biggest win of his career. Two, it makes sense for Shane to do it, as he wants Angle to have to wrestle twice before the street fight. That’s mentioned later, but it’s a brilliant move here. Christian is getting back in and Angle grabs him from the apron and hits the Angle Slam for the pin. I like that ending.

Rating: B. This was a great choice for an opener. It was hard hitting and fast paced with both guys being over. Like I said it sets up something for later on which is fine as that’s one of the big matches tonight. This was decent enough and it certainly got the crowd going. Shane looks freaking tiny.

Austin is in the back and Coach comes in. The Rattlesnake is looking for Vince and no one has seen him. This is the period where Vince and Austin were best friends which was always weird. Coach mention the Jericho/Benoit to WCW rumor and Austin is stunned. Get it? He’s STUNNED. Oh I kill myself!

We recap DDP and Taker. The thing here was rather interesting, as the angle was cool but six days prior to this we got the reveal, and the reaction was OH CRAP it’s DDP. Then we all said oh….it’s DDP. The initial shock is cool but then you realize it makes NO sense. He says he’s using Taker to get to the top, but still it just isn’t working at all. For some reason this recap is set to Rey Mysterio’s old music from 1996.

In the arena, Heyman interviews DDP, who says he wants Taker. This becomes stupid then as we see a video of DDP ordering lunch in a diner and reading the paper. They try to play this up as DDP being stalked, but it kind of falls short of filming Sara in a pool.

KOTR Semi-Finals: Edge vs. Rhyno

Well at least it’s just the final four again. Edge beat Test and Saturn while Rhyno beat Tazz (in his last real match, as in not against Lawler) and Tajiri. This was when Rhyno was still a monster and not a complete jobber. This match kind of makes the spear look weak. As I’ve said before, two people should be allowed to use that move: Rhyno and Goldberg. Edge is also now a far more serious character.

While I think Edge vs. Christian would have been better, Edge vs. Angle would be fine as well as the point was to elevate Edge and Christian so it works fine, especially given what came from it. They’re on the floor for the most part here, but just as I type that they hit the ring again. At least I still have my timing. Rhyno slips the padding off a buckle and Edge’s back slams into it.

They say that’s setting for the Gore which strikes me as pointless since it’s hardly a move that requires a lot of setup to be effective. This match is going by fast which is a good thing. Rhyno goes WAY old school by throwing on a full body scissors. See, this is what we mean when we talk about psychology. Rhyno’s finishing move hits the ribs, so Rhyno is working on the ribs.

He’s using a variety of moves and offense to hit Edge’s midsection and back, such as a powerslam and a top rope splash. These moves make sense for his finishing move. So many wrestlers work on parts of the body that make no sense. For example if Rhyno worked on the leg, what would the point be? It’s not softening up anything at all for Rhyno other than to maybe slow him down? It’s a little something but it’s a stretch.

Again here, Edge can’t get up to the top because his ribs are hurting. That’s something good by Edge as it sticks to the work Rhyno did earlier. It’s not exactly Steamboat vs. Flair, but for a nine minute PPV match it’s certainly passable. Both go for a spear at the same time which looked kind of cool I thought. After a rollup, Edge dodges the Gore and Rhyno hits the exposed turnbuckle (PSYCHOLOGY AGAIN!!!) and hits the Edgecution which he desperately needs to bring back as a face.

Rating: B. I liked this again. Edge goes over and beats Rhyno at his own game. There’s not a thing wrong with the mentality of this. Rhyno used his head but the cheating catches up with him. It’s no classic, but it’s certainly good, which is all you can ask for here. I’m well pleased.

We get a clip from earlier on Heat where Lillian (hot) interviews Spike and his girlfriend Molly (somehow hotter) who says that he’s challenging the Dudleys for the tag titles with a partner that he’s picking later. We go to a live shot of Spike who is confronted by the Dudleys after he says he won’t reveal his partner until later.

We go to Tazz with Jericho who asks him about the defection rumors. He says that it doesn’t sound so bad, but when asked about if he’s going, he turns in the awesomeness that is Jericho and keeps twisting the lines around. His jersey is sweet.

Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Spike and ???

So we needed the interview to bridge the gap of 45 seconds? Well alright then. The Dudleys just won the titles three days before this by beating Benoit and Jericho thanks to Austin hitting Benoit with the title belt. And the mystery partner is Kane of all people. He’s IC Champion here and the pop is great. I’m loving this crowd. No Molly though which is a shame as she was freaking beautiful around this time.

In a cool spot, Kane and Bubba throw Spike back and forth like a ball until Bubba finally goes to the ground. This was one of the few periods when Spike was bearable. He’s still annoying, but not as much as. He’s like X-Pac. When he was against guys that were average size like D-Von he could put on a passable match, but with guys like Bubba who are bigger, there’s just no validating him having a chance at all.

The fans, to the shock of no one, want tables. That’s something that’s simply never going to die. Heyman goes into one of his legendary anti-women rants that never get old. He’ll never top the Medusa one though. Spike is of course getting the tar beaten out of him. At least some things never change. He goes for a rana and gets the tar powerbombed out of him. He takes that move better than anyone I can ever remember.

D-Von is so far ahead of Bubba that it’s scary. He’s actually a decent worker and has had better characters over the years. He got rid of all the stupid Dudleys in ECW if nothing else. Kane comes in and hits a sweet sounding punch to D-Von. Bubba actually jumps into a sidewalk slam which looks really bad as Kane can’t get him all the way up.

He makes it up with a nice powerslam but they botch the living heck out of it as D-Von misses his cue to make the save so Long has to just stop his count at a long two while Bubba isn’t moving at all. The fans boo it out the building as no one is fooled at all. Spike gets thrown over the ropes in a reenactment of the Bigelow throw. With both Dudleys on the floor, Kane gets on the top on the opposite side of the ring.

He’s never been that smart. Acid Drop hits Bubba but this time D-Von gets the timing right. I types this time D-Von at the exact same time that Ross said it. Kane takes What’s Up, which according to past storylines meant nothing. Spike takes a 3D (for no apparent reason called a DDT by Ross. Heyman corrects him and Ross wakes up) for the pin. They set up a table but Kane stops them, hitting a diving powerbomb of all things on D-Von and Bubba goes through it. Well that was kind of pointless.

Rating: D+. Eh this was about as safe of a match as you could have asked for. That botch on the count was the worst I’ve ever seen though and it’s why this isn’t a C or so. I mean it completely made things look fake. No one expected new champions here and that’s fine and I’m glad they didn’t make the stupid switch. The match was ok at best but it filled in ten minutes, so that’s all well and good I suppose.

Buy Break Down the Walls on the Fanatic Series, which was the forerunner to 24/7.

Christian wishes Edge luck. Thanks for that.

More video of DDP doing nothing of note which makes no sense unless we got an explanation.

Billy Gunn is at WWF New York, which has a big Tough Enough ad, which debuted three days before this. Gunn doesn’t care about the tournament and no one cares about him.

KOTR Finals: Kurt Angle vs. Edge

This show is going by fast, and that’s a good thing. I’m surprised this is going on in the middle of the card though. Oh and Angle has his pyro now. We’re told no one has ever won it twice which isn’t true since Hart won at least two but we’re not told that. Edge and Christian actually had their own WWF site back in the day, as many wrestlers did. The company was just freaking huge back then.

Angle offers a handshake before the match and says that since Edge isn’t going to win anyway, Edge should just lay down for him. I love Angle at times. Edge impresses me by holding his ribs, selling the injury from earlier. That’s just greatness. Angle stomps Edge in the corner and as the referee is counting and gets to three he picks up the pace a lot which is a very nice touch. Heyman says maybe Shane interfered so that if he wins KOTR then the WCW owner could beat the WWF KOTR.

Not bad actually. Angle hits an AWESOME overhead belly to belly to put Edge on the floor. The camera shot was great there too as Edge just disappeared. That was very cool. Also, it works on the ribs which are hurt. I love smart wrestlers. We’re getting too many chinlocks here. This is almost all Angle here as they’re trying to play this up as heel vs. heel for absolutely no apparent reason considering Edge is clearly over with the crowd as a face.

Here’s Edge’s comeback as I’m liking this match. Again it’s no classic but it’s fine for what it it’s supposed to be. And now the referee keeps looking at the entrance like Angle did in the opening match, as they play up that the run in is coming. Here’s Christian but he’s preventing Edge from getting a cover. There goes the referee. Ankle lock makes Edge tap but here’s Shane with a spear of his own. I really hate that move. The Edgecution ends this. That wasn’t bad.

Rating: B-. Edge certainly should have gotten the win here. The match was pretty good and Shane makes sense here too. I guess it’s not right to have Edge win clean, but the spear was weak. At least Edge’s finisher ended it. This wasn’t bad at all and it got Edge over which was the point. Not bad, but it could have been better. Edge would get a trophy that resembled the Stanley Cup which Christian would keep taking, leading to a feud between them.

Benoit is with Tazz who is wearing shorts. The other Chris gets asked the same question as Jericho got and he gets upset about it but says it’s a good question.

We go to the back with Edge and Coach, who is as tall as Edge at 6’4. They have a brief moment of tenseness that was foreshadowing.

Ad for Tough Enough.

Angle is ticked off and says no one from WCW is interfering tonight.

Light Heavyweight Title: Jeff Hardy vs. X-Pac

Thankfully they went to the Cruiserweight belt later in the year. Jeff, the champion, comes out first for no apparent reason. No one remembers this reign anyway but whatever. This was during the time that X-Pac actually led a faction called X-Factor. It was him, Albert and Justin Credible. If nothing else their theme song was decent. We talk about Fully Loaded which never happened as I was trying to recall it.

That show would become InVasion in case you were wondering. This was when this title somehow meant less than it used to but they got the idea right by this point. It didn’t hurt that there was no Cruiserweight Division to make it look stupid though. At least you have two good lightweights here. Thankfully the Bronco Buster misses. They botch the living heck out of something and I have no idea what it was supposed to be.

That rarely happens so you can tell it was bad. Jeff pulls the shirt off to get the female fans moist. X-Pac gets the three but Jeff’s foot is on the rope. One day that’s going to be messed up and it’s going to cost them. Jeff hits the Swanton and gets a weird cover for the pin. They say X-Pac dominated this. Uh, not really.

Rating: C-. This was nothing but a way to give Angle a breather between his second and third match. I get that the idea is to make it easier on Shane, but why does he need to do that? It’s asking a bit much of Angle to go three times, especially when the third is a brutal match. They couldn’t do a sneak attack in the back and have Edge vs. Christian? Anyway, this was fine for what it was but that botch was just awful. Granted it’s a Jeff match so that comes with the territory.

Regal and Tajiri are in the back (Regal is Commissioner mind you) and Austin comes in to use the phone. He calls Vince and says Benoit and Jericho might defect. I love that they imply that the owner hasn’t been watching the show. This Austin and Vince angle was nothing short of surreal.

Lita is in London in Raw magazine. That’s one of my all time favorite photo shoots.

More DDP stalking videos, which somehow have DDP’s voice on them which makes no sense. Yeah because normal fans have mics on them. So he just jumps the railing again and gets in the ring which is fine again apparently. I love storylines. He calls out Taker and we get ANOTHER video and this is just stupid now. And Sara is filming him. Oh good night she has a man face.

The rest of her looks great but I can see why he picked Michelle a bit more now. Taker comes out to Rollin, which is at least better than Kid Rock. Taker, looking very fat, walks slower than he does today. That can’t be a good sign. He has no gloves on and it’s an odd sight. Oh there they are. This would be a dream match three years prior.

I do kind of like that it’s not a match, as Austin put it with Rikishi, “I don’t want a match, I want to kill him (paraphrased)” Sara comes out with a camera and magically we’re hooked up to it. She looks great from a distance but close up it makes me shiver. Taker punches Page a lot and eventually he runs. That was too long but whatever as it filled in time and there was a point to it.

Austin is in the back and wants to know how long it takes to get from Greenwich, Connecticut, since Vince can get there in time for the end of the show I guess.

We recap Shane vs. Angle, which started when Shane interrupted Angle reenacting the Olympic ceremony. The build for this was good for one reason: Shane could win. It wasn’t out of the realm of possibility which is something that you don’t get with Vince.

Shane McMahon vs. Kurt Angle

It should be noted that this is one of my favorite matches ever so I’ll be biased in it. Wait, they’re my reviews so I’m biased towards myself, so it’s fine. Angle throws his medals down on the way to the ring so you know this is serious. Again, JR says that after I typed it so I win again. Angle is just beating the tar out of Shane to start here. And just as I say that Shane starts throwing lefts and fights back.

With Shane on the floor, Angle gets on all fours and wants to go amateur, which is more popular that pro in certain areas other than wrestling. Naturally Angle easily gets out and beats on Shane even more. In a nice looking move, Angle hits a gutwrench but it’s overhead instead of to the side. It looked cool. Angle is just throwing Shane everywhere. It looks like a squash but don’t worry. It’ll get better. Shane has had three punches and an armdrag.

He offers Shane another amateur attempt but this time Shane just punts him in the ribs. That’s followed by a jumping back elbow making him awesome. On the floor now, Shane gets on the railing behind JR and Heyman and jumps over both them and the table to hit Kurt with a clothesline in a sweet spot. The guy was athletic and no one can ever argue that.

It’s certainly more entertaining than seeing Vince out there making a fool out of himself. And we have a kendo stick which Shane can swing really well. He actually breaks it over Angle’s back which has to feel like the dickens. Shane uses armdrags on the floor to send Angle into the railing which is a nice spot. Shane goes for a cover and Angle bridges out of it. Think of the Matrix move.

Shane does the smart thing and just hits him in the stomach. Angle does this three times, showing off his stupidity. It’s weapons time now and Shane is dominating. Ankle lock by Shane and Kurt just kicks him in the face. Nothing wrong with that. We get a Sharpshooter attempt and Shane botches it but gets it eventually. It looks bad but it’s ok I guess. Granted almost no one gets it right so it’s fine.

Shane is just beating the tar out of Angle here. He puts a trash can on his stomach and goes to the top for a shooting star press which misses but looked solid. The fans get a holy crap chant going as they’re impressed here. We hit the floor again and Shane hits a suplex, which breaks Kurt’s tailbone. He’s legit hurt which makes the rest of the match even more impressive. His solution to Shane fighting back: slam Shane’s head into a wall.   I like the simple ideas.

In the sickest bump you’ll see in years, Angle suplexes Shane over his head into one of the glass walls with KOR (what, no love for the?) on them. The problem is that it doesn’t break and Shane lands on his head which goes THUD. It sounded and looked SICK.  Shane is more or less out of it.

Angle, ticked off that it didn’t work, picks him up and does it AGAIN, this time having it work, drawing another holy chant. Angle’s arm is bleeding. We’re under the stage now and Angle suplexes him again and AGAIN it doesn’t break. Shane is busted. Angle goes for another suplex and it doesn’t break. In essence, Shane is being thrown into a wall. Kurt is MAD and just picks him up and launches him through a glass wall.

Shane looks like he’s been beaten by an army and raped by a bear while being run over by a train. Angle is spent too. Everyone is just bleeding like a stuck pig. Angle gets an anvil case and puts Shane on it to wheel him back to the ring. That’s a good idea as he’s just dead weight at this point. We’re back in the ring and Angle covers Shane. For two. The place pops like a freaking teenage girl for that. We get a replay where we can see Kurt’s face and he looks like he wants to cry.

A low blow connects and Shane isn’t dead yet. He gets a trash can lid and just pops the skin off of Angle and hits an Olympic Slam for two. Both guys are just freaking spent. Shane gets catapulted into the corner where he just kind of collapses. Angle gets a board from somewhere and just beats Shane about the back and shoulder with it. There’s something awesome about that.

He sets it up on the copes and climbs to the top where he this the Olympic Slam from the top rope. I would say Shane lands in the middle of the ring with a thud, but as they said in Con Air, “the word ain’t land. It’s crash.” They show a bunch a replays and the slam looks cooler and cooler ever time. I mean Shane just explodes on the mat and it looks amazing. Shane’s best match ever by about 1000 miles. They carry him out and he’s just gone.  The Slam off the top got the pin if that wasn’t clear.

Rating: A. This was just freaking brutal. It’s a great street fight where you never really believed Shane was completely out of it. That’s a great thing to be able to say, but Shane took the best beating I can recall anyone taking in a long time. Find a copy of this match as it’s right up there with any beating I’ve ever seen.

Buy Fully Loaded!

Austin is still looking for Vince and tells the guys in the back to tell Vince to come to the ring when he gets here. This was just such a strange angle but it kind of worked.

We recap the triple threat match, which came from the EPIC tag match between Austin and HHH (the one where he got hurt) against Benoit and Jericho for the tag titles. Austin blamed HHH for the loss and says he can beat both of them in the ring, so Linda made the match.

They worked together to beat him and had him in both their submissions at the same time in a great looking moment that I stole about a dozen times in OCW. Austin says Vince needs to pick between Austin and Linda, which is as surreal of a line as you could ask for. Vince says keep the title or they’re through.

WWF Title: Steve Austin vs. Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

Benoit is very hurt here as he got injured in TLC but wrestled here anyway. After this he would immediately go and have neck surgery but miss over a year because of it. The idea here is simple: the faces beat on Austin a lot. Neither of them were on Austin’s level but combined they certainly were. More or less it’s Austin going back and forth from singles match to singles match but both guys are capable of beating him, which makes this more or less impossible for him to pull off.

That turns out to be the case actually, as for fifteen minutes we have Austin vs. both guys, which I would love to see both matches of. Neither guy ever had a real feud with Austin which is a shame as Austin can certainly work a style that would mesh with both of them very well. I know that when Benoit was a heel they had a match on Raw and Austin wrestled nothing but technical and hung with Benoit every step of the way.

His in ring skills were certainly overlooked due to all of his injuries, which is a shame. He would have been one of the most complete wrestlers of all time had it not been for that botched piledriver. Jericho and Austin are another group that could have been awesome in a feud. Can you imagine just the promo wars alone? They keep trying for the double submission but Aust keeps getting out. They’re taking their time here and it’s certainly paying off.

After a very long match, going maybe 20 minutes, they finally hook it and Austin taps out. The problem though is that both made him tap, so it doesn’t count? That makes no sense, as if nothing else Austin should be out of it. The Canadians go at it now with both going for their submissions. Austin grabs a chair after being out forever but Benoit hits a baseball slide to put him down again. Booker freaking T debuts and hits the axe kick on Austin on the floor.

It should be noted that Austin complete no sells it after being dead forever. Booker throws him through the, say it with me, Spanish announce table as we have more hot Canadian action in the ring. Austin finally gets back in and after being knocked down again, Benoit hits a belly to back from the top on Jericho, but everyone is dead. Austin covers Benoit for a kind of weak finish. No Vince surprisingly.

Rating: B+. While not as good as the street fight, this was a very solid match. The story made perfect sense, but Booker running in didn’t do much at all since Austin was beaten half to death already anyway. I with something else had finished Benoit off but that’s a moot point I guess. This was solid and ran almost half an hour, which helped a lot as it gave them plenty of time to get something good together.

Overall Rating: B. While the last two matches are by far and away the best part of the show, it’s not like the rest sucked. The last two were just completely awesome. Edge winning was a great touch and the right choice as he would eventually become a mega star.

It could have been better, but the Invasion changed everything, making this show kind of pointless. It started the next night though, so all is right with the world. Good show and worth seeing, but go out of your way to see Shane and Angle as it’s just awesomeness personified.