Smackdown
Date: January 4, 2013
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Josh Matthews

Welcome to the day of the year where more stuff happens in wrestling than any other. Whether it be the NJPW supershow or the Fingerpoke of Doom or Foley winning the title or Hogan debuting on Impact or Bret and Shawn burying the hatchet, something ALWAYS happens on January 4. Odds are not much of note will happen tonight, but things in the WWE will pick up big on Monday when Rock returns. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Orton returning to fight the Shield tonight as Alberto attacking Big Show after Ricardo got beaten up.

Here’s Orton to open the show. He says that his new year’s resolution is to become World Champion again. For some reason Smackdown isn’t his show anymore, so he’s entering the Royal Rumble. This brings out Sheamus who enters the Rumble as well. He’s also here to thank Orton for his help with the Shield on Raw. Orton says that was for himself and now Sheamus and starts talking about the Rumble again. Sheamus says he knows a bit about the Rumble since he won it last year. They say they’ll eliminate each other, so here’s Big Show with something of his own to say.

The champ says all the winner of the Rumble gets is a shot at his fist, which is what Sheamus has gotten every single time they’ve fought. If Orton wants a shot, that’s fine with him so come take a shot. Cue Cesaro who makes fun of these bragging Americans. Sheamus says he’s from Ireland but Cesaro doesn’t really care. Orton says how about this lazy American comes and RKOs Cesaro. Booker, tag match set, end opening segment.

Kingston gets his rematch tonight.

The Miz vs. Heath Slater

Did Drew always have that cowboy hat? JBL: “Here comes the air guitar playing version of the Spirit Squad.” So which one is Dolph Ziggler? Apparently this is because of 3MB being on MizTV the week before the Slammys. Feeling out process to start with Miz cranking on Slater’s arm. A dropkick of all things puts Heath down and Miz works on a headlock. That stays on for a good while, suggesting this is going to be a long match.

Miz makes fun of the air guitar playing and pokes Slater in the eye. I would say it worked for Roddy Piper but Miz hasn’t acted like Piper in years. Think back to the time he was champion: he ran his mouth a lot, he wasn’t the best technical guy in the world, no one could seem to beat him no matter what, he had a lackey who was better in the ring than he was, and he somehow kept getting by the top guy in the company. Sound like any famous kilt wearing wrestlers?

Miz hiptosses Slater down but McIntyre trips him up to change momentum. Miz has to fight off the other 3MB guys, drawing an ejection for them and a quick rollup for two on Slater. We take a break and come back with Slater pounding away in the corner. Miz fights back so Slater bails again, only to get clotheslined down again. JBL talks about how important it was for Miz to team with Cena on Raw. Remember kids: title reigns from two years ago aren’t as important as a one off tag match that opens up a New Year’s Eve episode of Raw that no one watched.

Back inside, Miz misses a charge and his shoulder goes into the post, giving Slater something to focus on. After escaping a quick arm hold, Miz grabs a sunset flip for two before having his head kicked off for the same result for Slater. The sequence works so well that we do the exact same thing but with a clothesline instead of a kick by Slater. Miz comes back with a knee to the ribs and a kick to the face for two, only to have Slater send him into the buckle to stop the comeback.

Slater wraps Miz’s arm around the post as JBL goes back and forth between praising Slater’s abilities and blasting his non-existent singing abilities. Miz suplexes out of a headlock and both guys are down. Slater goes back to the arm so Miz uses the good elbow to take over again. A neckbreaker gets two for Heath but Miz shrugs it off and hits his signature stuff, finishing Slater with the Skull Crushing Finale at 12:22 shown of 15:22.

Rating: C. My first guess as to why Miz isn’t getting over as a face: it took him fifteen minutes to beat Heath Slater in a one on one match. That being said, I’m not going to complain about a match with a decent story in it and some psychology thrown in. The fact that Slater had nothing to be able to finish Miz off with didn’t help, but I could come up with far worse ways to kill time on this show.

We recap Kofi losing the title on Monday.

Barrett doesn’t want to talk about losing to Kofi in a gauntlet match on Main Event.

Great Khali/Hornswoggle/Natalya vs. Primo/Epico/Rosa Mendes

This is an excuse to show the Mae Young stuff from Raw again. You know, because THAT is something to be proud of. The girls start things off with Natalya taking over with ease. Rosa tags in Epico, who gets to fight Khali. Epico turns around, sees Khali, and tags out to Primo. Khali hits a big chop and it’s off to Horny for some comedy offense. He hits a Stunner on Epico but Primo finally takes him down with a shot to the head. JBL: “Doesn’t PETA have rules against that?” Horny finally tags Khali, house is cleaned, and the big chop pins Epico at 4:03.

Rating: D. I feel sorry for Epico and Primo. They aren’t ever going to be the kings of the tag division, but man alive they deserve better than to have to sell for Hornswoggle’s offense. This was one of those comedy matches that was lacking the comedy, but at least it was pretty short.

Kofi says this isn’t about momentum because it’s likely his last chance at the title. I highly doubt that.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Wade Barrett

Feeling out process to start with Kofi using his speed to escape the power brawling Barrett. Off to an armbar by the challenger which doesn’t last that long. Wade bails to the floor but Kofi follows him out and sends him into the steps to take over again. Back in and a springboard forearm to the head gets two. The champ sends him into the corner and things slow down again. It’s rather interesting how the fans seemed to be WAY more interested in Miz vs. Slater than they are here for a title match. I’m sure the fans not moving during the Miz match isn’t noteworthy at all.

We hit the chinlock which doesn’t last long as Kofi tries some fast rollups for two each. Barrett gets backdropped to the floor, followed by a dive from Kofi to take him out. Barrett seems fine to chill on the floor for a countout while claiming an injury but Kofi will have none of that. Wade hides in the ropes again as we take a break. Back with Wade knocking Kingston down with something we didn’t see for no cover.

Back to the chinlock before Barrett shifts his attack to the ribs, firing off some kicks and dropping a middle rope elbow for two. Kofi gets placed in the ropes and kicked to the floor again, drawing what appears to be legitimate heat from the crowd. Kingston gets back in at nine and immediately has to block a superplex. The top rope cross body gets two on Barrett and Kofi wins a slugout.

Kofi loads up another springboard but Barrett avoids it, only to get caught in the SOS for two. A BIG running kick to the side of Barrett’s head sets up the Boom Drop. Kofi loads up Trouble in Paradise but Barrett ducks, setting off a very hot sequence of near falls for both guys. Winds of Change (Boss Man Slam) gets two for Wade but Kofi kicks his head off, sending him out to the floor.

After Kofi finally gets him back inside, Barrett grabs the rope at two. The place is really getting into this. Kingston charges into a boot in the corner but ducks the Bull Hammer, only to jump off the middle rope right into said Hammer, which retains the title for Barrett at 13:14 shown of 16:44.

Rating: B-. What is with all this wrestling tonight? That’s two matches out three that broke fifteen minutes, which is almost unheard of anymore. Kofi continues to be the guy that can have a good match with anyone and contrary to some opinions, there is absolutely nothing wrong with having that role for the next five years for him. Just because he doesn’t make it to the main event doesn’t mean he’s a failure by any stretch. Good match here as you would expect from these two.

Layla vs. Tamina Snuka

Tamina chokes Layla against the ropes to start. Layla stares at Tamina like an idiot before getting shoved to the outside. We hit the chinlock as the crowd is SILENT. JBL makes fun of Josh’s inability to talk to women as the match is dragging despite only running a minute and a half so far. Layla makes her comeback and hits a dropkick to the side of the head before screaming. When you can understand every word she’s shouting, you might need to do a better job at firing up the crowd. The bouncing cross body is caught in a slam and the Superfly Splash gets the pin at 3:05. I think you can figure out the rating by yourselves.

The Raw ReBound is the really stupid ending to the show.

Randy Orton/Sheamus vs. Big Show/Antonio Cesaro

Cesaro and Sheamus start things off and pound on each other for a bit as you would expect the two of them to do. Off to Orton for a suplex for two and here’s Sheamus again. Cesaro gets pounded some more as Big Show yells instructions to him. Orton comes in and pounds him in the head for a bit before Sheamus gets another tag. Cesaro finally gets in some shots to the ribs and there’s the tag to Big Show.

Show puts Sheamus down and swings at Orton, allowing Sheamus to come back with a shot to the head. The good guys double clothesline Show to the floor and we take a break. Back with Sheamus sending Cesaro to the apron for the ten forearms. Show makes a blind tag and spears Sheamus down as momentum really shifts for the first time. Cesaro can be heard telling Show what to do (a recurring theme tonight) as Show gets two off an elbow drop.

The referee tells Show to let Sheamus out of the corner, but Show yelling at the referee allows Sheamus to get in some offense for a change. Show misses a charge in the corner but comes back with a chokeslam for two. I guess that’s officially just another big move for Show anymore. The KO punch misses and Sheamus kicks Show’s head off to put both guys down.

Double tags bring in Cesaro and Orton and it’s time for Randy’s finishing seq uence. Cesaro counters the Elevated DDT and Sheamus tags himself in, much to Orton’s annoyance. White Noise takes Cesaro down but as Sheamus loads up the Brogue Kick, Orton comes in with an RKO. Sheamus reluctantly gets the pin at 10:36 shown of 14:06.

Rating: C+. Standard main event tag match here but it’s clear that they’re sowing the seeds for at least the Rumble and possibly an Orton heel turn and the world title match at Wrestlemania. They didn’t have any actual contact but they didn’t need to, which is something a tag match like this is good for. I’m talking about Orton and Sheamus if that wasn’t really clear.

Sheamus and Orton stare each other down (not really out of rage) to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. When you have three matches that are about fifteen minutes each, it’s hard to say it’s not at least a pretty good show. This is the kind of stuff that Smackdown can offer as a legit different style from Raw, as there were zero backstage segments here and almost all wrestling. The quality wasn’t always great, but it was nice to see a wrestling show for a change. Good stuff.

Results

The Miz b. Heath Slater – Skull Crushing Finale

Great Khali/Hornswoggle/Natalya b. Primo/Epico/Rosa Mendes – Chop to Epico

Wade Barrett b. Kofi Kingston – Bull Hammer

Tamina Snuka b. Layla – Superfly Splash

Sheamus/Randy Orton b. Big Show/Antonio Cesaro – RKO to Cesaro

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: November 30, 2012
Location: CenturyLink Center, Bossier City, Louisiana
Commentators: Josh Matthews, John Bradshaw Layfield

Remember when Smackdown used to be good? Like when it was the best wrestling show on TV? I’m trying to give myself a nice feeling before I get into this show. We’re going to get the Shield interview from Raw I’m sure, along with Cena and AJ’s latest kiss at least once or twice on top of that. Oh and the world champions will get a quick bit of time too if we can squeeze them in. Let’s get to it.

The opening voiceover is about Shield and Show vs. Sheamus at the end.

Here’s Cena to open the show. Before Cena can eve talk, we get a recap of him vs. Ziggler. Cena talks about now being on Smackdown that often, but he’s here tonight because Dolph is in the main event. He makes fun of Ziggler for being world champion for about ten minutes once and for losing the MITB case whenever he cashes it in. Tonight it’s Sheamus vs. Ziggler and Cena is excited about it.

This brings out….Alberto Del Rio? Cena sucks up to the fans a bit as Alberto says the show belongs to him. Del Rio lists off his accomplishments, all of which Cena himself has done if I remember correctly. Alberto tells Cena to get out but Cena wants to see the main event. Cena says he won’t leave now because he has a match with Del Rio RIGHT NOW.

John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio

After a break we come back for the opening bell and to see Cena shoulder block Del Rio to the floor. We head to the outside and Cena gets rammed back first into the announce table. Back in and Alberto hits a top rope ax handle/punch to the face for two. We get a recap from before the break that set this match up via a splitscreen. Do they really think we need that much assistance in getting through a show?

A running kick to the face puts Cena down and a suplex gets two. Ziggler is watching in the back as Del Rio hooks an armbar. Cena blocks a second suplex attempt into one of his own, only to have Alberto hit a running kick to the arm in the corner. Another ax handle gets two and it’s back to the armbar. We take a break and come back with Del Rio missing a backsplash off the middle rope.

Cena initiates his finishing sequence and hits the Shuffle but the AA is countered into a Backstabber for two. The armbreaker is countered into a neckbreaker by Cena and both guys are down. John heads up top but Del Rio takes him down with an enziguri. Another enziguri misses but Cena can’t get the STF. A backbreaker puts Cena down for two more so Del Rio goes up yet again. His third attempt at an ax handle is blocked by a Cena dropkick to put both guys down. The AA is countered into the armbreaker which is countered into the STF by Cena.

Alberto FINALLY makes a rope and heads to the apron. As Cena tries to pull him back in, there’s an armbreaker over the ropes to slow Cena down. Alberto tries a sunset flip but gets caught in another AA attempt. THAT gets reversed into a German suplex for two so Alberto puts Cena in the Tree of Woe. Del Rio tries a spear to an upside down Cena but hits the post shoulder first instead. The top rope Fameasser hits perfectly for the pin on Alberto at 11:23 shown of 14:53.

Rating: B. This was a solid nearly PPV quality match with one thing that really set it apart: the ending. It’s nice to see something other than one of Cena’s two finishers ending a match for a change. Seeing the same moves get the same two counts over and over can start to seem like a waste of time after awhile, so having one of those moves get a pin every now and then is a good thing. The match was good stuff too and one of their better matches.

As Cena poses on the stage, Dolph blasts him in the back of the head with the briefcase. Josh: “You don’t want to see something like that happen to John Cena.” John: “Why not?”

Time for another recap, this time of the main event of Raw where Punk beat Kane and then the Shield ran in to beat up the monster. The beatdown on Ryback isn’t shown.

HELL NO is glaring at each other in the back when Kofi comes up to tell them to get along because they have a six man tonight. The tag champions shout compliments to each other and agree that they can get along. Kofi doesn’t know what to think of this.

Cena yells at Booker that he wants Ziggler. Booker says let the match with Sheamus vs. Ziggler take place tonight. Cena agrees because of his past with Booker.

Great Khali vs. David Otunga

Josh says this might be harder for Otunga than passing the bar exam, causing JBL to go on a big rant. Khali knocks Otunga to the floor where Horny jumps him, only to get chased away. Khali pulls Otunga back into the ring for the big chop and the pin at 1:26.

Horny and Khali dance post match.

Prime Time Players/Wade Barrett vs. HELL NO/Kofi Kingston

Take two feuds, put them into one match. This is something that could be done far more often. Kane vs. Darren gets things going here with Young getting punched down very quickly. Off to Bryan for a running dropkick in the corner and some regular kicks to a seated Young as well. Kane hits a seated dropkick of his own for two as Young shouts for Titus.

Darren finally gets in a single shot and runs over to Titus for the tag. O’Neal has his head kicked off for two and he’s sent to the floor. There’s Bryan’s running knee off the apron and we take a break. Back with Kofi getting two on Young off a dropkick. Back to Kane who does nothing so here’s Bryan again. Daniel fires off kicks and chops but Titus comes in off a blind tag to take over for the first time.

The Players take Bryan down with a double shoulder for two by Young. Off to a surfboard hold with the knee in the back by Darren. That goes nowhere so here’s Barrett for the first time. Pumphandle slam gets two on Bryan and it’s off to a reverse chinlock. Titus hits a reverse slam on Bryan before suplexing Young down onto him for two.

Darren hooks a chinlock but Bryan fights up with a bunch of forearms. Young comes back with a northern lights suplex for two as we’re waiting on the big hot tag. Titus works on the back of Bryan but charges into a boot in the corner to give Bryan a breather. There’s the tag to Kane who beats the tar out of Young, getting two off a side slam.

The top rope clothesline connects but Titus breaks things up. Kofi comes in sans tag (such a bad influence on the children) and everything breaks down. Young tries to come in of the top but jumps into a chokeslam. Swan Dive and the NO Lock from Bryan get the tap at 10:38 shown of 14:08.

Rating: C. This might as well have been the Players vs. the champions with Kofi and Barrett as managers. The two singles guys were in the match for maybe a minute each at most and I actually forgot who they were when I was writing up the results. The match wasn’t bad or anything, but I’m not sure why Barrett and Kingston didn’t get more time.

Sheamus is very excited about kicking Ziggler in the head later.

Raw ReBound is the ending of the show, most of which we saw earlier.

Here’s Damien Sandow, who says he’s going to be focusing on individuals instead of the masses from now on, which is why he’s going to search for an apprentice. He goes through the front row and finds a guy in a Punk shirt that suits him. Damien asks the fan some basic questions (how many wheels on a tricycle and how often does the US hold presidential elections) before asking what the velocity of Jupiter’s moon Europa. Sandow’s reply of “YOU IGNARAMOUS!” when the guy doesn’t know is hilarious. He says the fan has disgraced Louisiana and wants him out of his country.

Damien Sandow vs. Tyson Kidd

Kidd chases Sandow to the apron but Damien rams him face first into said apron to take over. Back in and the Wind-Up Elbow gets two but Kidd comes back with kicks to the head for two of his own. Sandow heads to the floor and gets caught in a suicide dive from Kidd. Back in and Kidd tries his springboard elbow but it lands on Sandow’s knee. For some reason this hurts Kidd instead of Damien’s knee is beyond me but whatever. Terminus ends this at 2:49.

Video on Cena’s 300^th Make-A-Wish granted.

Ziggler says that Cena is a liar and liars get what they deserve: MITB case shots to the back of their heads. There’s a really bad superhero parody skit in there somewhere.

Usos vs. 3 Man Band

It’s Slater/Mahal again. Slater vs. Jey to get things going here as the fans go pretty silent after booing 3MB’s entrance. It’s quickly off to Jimmy who now has a sleeve tattoo which helps tell them apart. A middle rope splash gets two on Slater but it’s off to Mahal to take over with a knee and chinlock. A hot tag brings in Jey for some fast paced offense including a shot to the face and a Samoan Drop for no cover. The running Umaga attack in the corner gets two but some Slater interference lets Mahal hit the full nelson slam for the pin at 2:41. This was nothing.

We recap Show and Sheamus’ staredown from Raw with Show breaking a chair.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus

Ziggler takes over to start but the showing off lets Sheamus get in a few shots to take control away. Dolph sends him to the floor but dives into a fall away slam into the barricade. Ziggler is thrown back in, only to fall right back to the floor. Sheamus throws him back in again but Ziggler guillotines him down to break up the ten forearms. We take a break and come back with Ziggler hitting a splash in the corner for two.

Off to a chinlock by the smaller guy, followed by a kick to Sheamus’ head for two. Ziggler chokes and stomps away in the corner but his charge is countered by a backdrop to the apron. There are the ten forearms to the chest but Ziggler avoids the top rope shoulder. Brogue Kick misses and Ziggler gets two off the jumping DDT. The Fameasser misses as well and there’s the Irish Curse for two. White Noise is countered but Sheamus counters the counter into the Cloverleaf but here’s Big Show for the DQ at 8:45 shown of 12:15.

Rating: C. Nothing significant here as it was all leading up to a run-in finish. It’s nice to see Ziggler not lose clean for once which happens way too often for a guy who is likely going to be a world champion in the next few months. Other than that though, nothing to see here for the most part but it wasn’t bad.

Cena comes out to save Sheamus from a double team. There’s an AA to Ziggler and a double suplex to Show. A double shoulder puts Show on the floor and the good guys celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Let’s see: recaps kept far lower than previous weeks, some pretty good and long matches, nothing being horrible for the most part, and a 3 Man Band sighting. By comparison to most of what we’ve gotten from WWE lately, this was one of the best shows in months. I’d be much happier with Smackdown if it were like this all the time, as in NOT ABOUT RAW.

Results

John Cena b. Alberto Del Rio – Top Rope Fameasser

Great Khali b. David Otunga – Chop

HELL NO/Kofi Kingston b. Wade Barrett/Prime Time Players – NO Lock to Young

Damien Sandow b. Tyson Kidd – Terminus

3 Man Band b. Uso Brothers – Full Nelson Slam to Jey

Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler via DQ when Big Show interefered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 15, 2012
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole

The main story tonight is Punk having to decide who he faces inside the Cell in about two weeks. He either has to face Ryback or Cena and if he doesn’t pick, it’s going to be decided by Vince himself. I’m assuming Vince will be here live tonight which is a good thing given how awesome he was last week. Other than that the PPV is mostly set. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the ending segment from last week with Punk running away from Vince.

Here’s Big Show with something to say. He talks about how he overpowered Sheamus last week and Sheamus was in awe. Then on Smackdown they tested which finisher was stronger through a machine and the punch won by a landslide. Show gets mad about the 45 second reign and demands a match with Bryan (the guy that beat him for the 45 second reign) RIGHT NOW. Some guys including Bryan are watching in the back. Bryan says no, but AJ comes up and says yes. Kane laughs and Bryan gets in a yes/no battle with about half the roster.

Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan

Show charges right at Bryan but Daniel starts moving as fast as he can. Show shoves him to the floor and we take a break after about 45 seconds. I hate when they do that. Back with Show bearhugging Bryan but Bryan comes back with the rapid fire kicks. He fires off even more but as he goes up top, Bryan jumps into a chokeslam for the pin at 6:32.

Rating: C+. This was a lot better than I was expecting. Bryan going down is the right move here as it’s hard to buy that Bryan can go toe to toe with Show and win in a fair fight. Bryan was a total face in this and the rapid fire kicks looked great. Bryan has been turned by the force of the crowd which always makes for a great push.

Kane comes out for the save.

Here’s Heyman standing in front of something with a cloth over it. He brings out Punk to announce who he wants to face at the PPV. Punk talks about disrespect and how everyone wants to make it about themselves instead of him. Last week that was Vince and then Punk had to beat Vince up to prove his point. Then it took Ryback and Cena to run Punk off. We look at the HIAC poster on the screen which is Punk as the devil in the Cell.

Punk talks about how he’s got two devils to pick from: the one he knows in Cena or the one he doesn’t know in Ryback. Both names get reactions but Cena’s is clearly bigger, which shouldn’t surprise anyone. Punk asks for some decorum while he unveils his opponent. He grabs the sheet over what appears to be a poster on a stand, but Punk says he’s going to think a bit longer because the fans won’t stop disrespecting him.

Cue Vince to make up Punk’s mind for him. Vince says he respected Punk last week, but now Punk has lost that respect. Tonight it’s a contract signing and Vince is going to announce the opponent. Vince: RESPECT THAT!

Brodus Clay vs. Alberto Del Rio

I wonder if we’ll hear about their history together. Brodus takes him into the corner to start and rams Del Rio to the floor. Alberto drapes the arm over the ropes and goes after it. Brodus misses a charge in the corner, gets caught in the armbreaker, and taps at 2:20. Brodus, welcome to Jobberville.

Punk rants to Heyman in the back and wants to fight Vince tonight. Punk yells at Heyman here and looks flustered.

Prime Time Players vs. Zack Ryder/Santino Marella

This is joined in progress with Young tagging in Titus to keep up a beating on Santino. Off to Ryder who pounds away on Titus and hits a middle rope missile dropkick to set up the Broski Boot for two. Everything breaks down and it’s the gutbuster to Santino, the Rough Ryder to Young, and the Clash of the Titus to Santino for the pin at 1:26 shown. Ok then.

Post match here’s the Band, now in jeans and leather jackets, to beat on Ryder. Now they’re called the 3MB apparently.

Here are Vickie and Ziggler to talk about how Ryback doesn’t deserve a title match in the Cell. It should be Dolph who gets the shot, and he should cash in the case that night and win both titles. This brings out…..David Otunga? He thinks HE should get the shot. Cue AJ who makes a handicap match.

David Otunga/Dolph Ziggler vs. Ryback

A LOUD Feed Me More chant starts up and a Vickie distraction lets Dolph hit a dropkick. The clothesline kills Ziggler and the annoying fans chant Goldberg. Off to Otunga who gets caught in the over the shoulder Stunner (called an atomic drop by JR) as Ziggler leaves. Otunga gets Shell Shocked for the pin at 1:48.

Heyman comes in to see Vince and offers another match with Vince where if Punk wins, he gets to pick the stipulation. Vince says ok, but it’s against Heyman instead of Punk.

AJ is in the back when Striker asks him about getting beaten up by HELL NO. He implies he wants an apology and AJ is psycho this week so it’s Striker vs. Kane tonight. Striker: “But….no…..”

Antonio Cesaro vs. Justin Gabriel

Non-title. Gabriel escapes a German suplex to start but gets hit in the ribs to take him down. A HARD double stomp keeps Gabriel down and since we’ve got a Swiss guy vs. a South African, the Tennessee fans chant USA. Cesaro stays on the ribs with a gutbuster and a body vice. They slug it out and Gabriel uses AJ Styles’ moonsault into the reverse DDT to set up the 450, but the injured ribs slow down the cover and Cesaro gets the rope. Gabriel tries a springboard but he jumps into the uppercut to kill him dead. Neutralizer gets the academic pin at 3:51.

Rating: B-. This was a very solid match for less than four minutes. Gabriel can go and it’s always good to see that he has more than 450. They did the same thing with Kidd last week and we got a good match there too. This is what I mean by using the roster to your advantage: WWE has all these people working for them, and for once they’re USING THEM instead of giving us five Santino vs. Cesaro matches in a row.

Matt Striker vs. Kane

Striker has a mic to start and begs for mercy. He says he’d be fine with just an apology. Striker appeals to Kane’s therapy which Kane accepts, giving Striker a hug. Kane won’t let go of the hug and then the chokeslam ends this at 2:02, about 90 seconds of which were talking.

Kane interviews Striker who is out cold post match.

Time for MizTV. Miz insults the crowd a bit and brings out Kofi to hype up their title match on Main Event. Miz offers to carry Kofi like everyone else has. He talks about how Kofi has never done anything of note and how Kofi will always be the B guy that just makes people happy. Kofi says maybe Miz is right and Kofi needs to add some more moments to his career, like winning the IC Title on Wednesday. Kofi offers to have a match tonight, and Miz says ok. Miz says Kofi will always be the guy that says Boom Boom Boom and it’s on, with Miz getting knocked to the floor. More Kofi being serious is a good thing.

Sheamus vs. Wade Barrett

Non-title here. They work on each others’ arms to start and Sheamus clotheslines him down and out to the apron. The ten forearms are escapes and Barrett comes back with a shot to the head. A pumphandle slam gets two for Barrett and it’s off to the chinlock. Sheamus fights up and knocks Barrett to the floor. A shoulder block off the apron puts Barrett down and here’s Show with a chair as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus in control as Show sits on the stage and cheers for Barrett. They head to the floor and Barrett tries to kick the steps into Sheamus like he did last week but Sheamus is ready for it this week. As they get back in Barrett fires off a kick to the ribs to take over. A kick to Sheamus’ face has the champion in trouble and they head to the floor again.

They head back inside with Sheamus put in a chinlock, but he gets the crazy eyes and fights up. Irish Curse puts Barrett down but Sheamus can’t follow up. The champ comes back with a knee lift and powerslam for two. Show is getting nervous. Barrett rolls to the apron and you just shouldn’t do that against Sheamus. After the ten forearms and a suplex for two, Sheamus starts smiling. Sheamus gets sent into the buckle and a middle rope elbow gets two for Wade.

Wasteland is countered but the Brogue Kick misses as well. Winds of Change (Boss Man Slam) gets two and Wade is frustrated. Sheamus goes up but has to roll through the shoulder block. The cloverleaf is put on but here’s Big Show. He distracts Sheamus but the champ loads up White Noise. Sheamus gets thrown at Show who low bridges him for the DQ at 15:26.

Rating: B. As usual these two have great chemistry together. I’d love to see them have some kind of a world title match on PPV where they can have a clean finish, as it could be one of the better brawls of the year. They’re both hard hitting guys and when you get two guys who are good at that, it’s going to be a good match. Solid stuff here, albeit with a weak ending.

Sheamus immediately Brogue Kicks Barrett and clotheslines Show to the floor.

Vince is in his office when Cena comes in. Cena says he’s no doctor but Vince doesn’t listen to doctors anyway so it doesn’t matter. John belongs out there and if Vince picks him, he’ll do what he does. Vince says he’ll take that under consideration.

Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Layla

This is Layla’s rematch from whatever show she lost the title at. They fight over a tieup to start and Eve takes over. She sends Layla to the floor and hurts Layla’s ribs. Back in and Eve works on the shoulder. Well of course she does. Eve puts on a Figure Four headlock but Layla makes a rope after a minute or so. Layla comes back with a kick to the chest for two and screams a lot. The bouncing cross body gets two but Layla gets kicked off the middle rope and is pinned (with her foot on the ropes) at 4:38.

Rating: D+. These matches just aren’t interesting. Layla isn’t interesting at all without McCool there, nor is she interesting as a face. This went nowhere at all and just ate up time on this way too long show. Are there any other women left on the roster at all, or is this just setting up for the epic, yes EPIC I SAY, Kaitlyn vs. Eve feud?

WWE has a new charity thing, this one having to do with malaria nets.

Kane and Bryan have another arugment in the back and Bryan isn’t happy with Kane for laughing at him earlier. “Yes it was funny.” “NO IT WASN’T!” Bryan finally shouts and says next week it should be Kane vs. Big Show. Oh please…..no. ANYTHING but that.

Ryback is in Vince’s office and Vince thanks him for the save last week. The fans are saying Ryback is heartless, merciless, cold-blooded and would run through a brick wall to get what he wants. Ryback looks straight ahead the whole time until Vince asks what Ryback thinks. Ryback says Feed Me Punk. Vince will consider that too.

Mysterio isn’t here tonight, so the finals are next week.

3MB goes to a bar and takes over the stage. Secuirty throws them out.

Rhodes Scholars vs. Epico/Primo

The cousins jump the Scholars before the bell and the Scholars hide on the floor. We start with Primo vs. Cody. Off to Epico who has some good luck with Rhodes but has to chase off Sandow (Damien: “DON’T TOUCH ME!”). Cody takes over and it’s off to Sandow for the windup elbow for two. Back to Cody and there’s nothing to talk about in this match. Cody beats on Primo, Sandow beats on Primo, no one cares, the beating continues. The hot tag brings in Epico for some suplexes but everything breaks down. Epico misses a cross body and the double arm neckbreaker (called the Terminus apparently) gets the pin at 6:53.

Rating: D. Considering one of these teams is likely going to win the tag tournament but couldn’t tonight because one of the people in the tournament final was sick, it’s kind of hard to buy Epico and Primo as a legitimate threat. That neckbreaker getting a name is probably the highlight of this match.

The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston

Miz charges at him but misses his shot. This is a big brawl very quickly and Miz rolls to the floor. Kofi kills him with a clothesline but back inside Miz takes over again and hits a running corner clothesline. Top rope ax handle gets two for the champ and we hit the chinlock. Kofi comes back with a suplex and a clothesline. The Finale is countered, as is the SOS and another Finale attempt. The Trouble in Paradise gets the pin on Miz at 5:25. That kick looked NASTY, as I don’t think Miz knew it was coming.

Rating: D+. Another dull match here where the ending was obvious. The only thing they could do here is have Kofi get the pin to set up the match he’ll likely lose on Wednesday. Not terrible here but they’re on at the end of a long show which is taking forever to get through. This was all they could do though.

Miz is looked at post match. He was totally blindsided by that kick.

Here’s Vince to announce the main event for the PPV. He brings out Punk, Ryback and Cena as we’re already past 11pm. I love Heyman holding up the title when the other guys come in. Punk cuts Vince off before his speech really gets going. I guess the scene with Vince and Heyman earlier canceled the proposed match? Punk signs without knowing his opponent.

Cena talks about Punk being champion for 330 days but says Punk needs to shut up. Vince tries to make his announcement but Cena cuts him off. Cena would love to fight Punk but he thinks Ryback just wants to beat someone up. That might be what Punk needs and Cena starts a FEED ME MORE chant. Ryback signs….and that’s the match. Ryback Shell Shocks Punk to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. As is almost always the case with this show anymore, it was going really well for the first hour and a half and then it got tiring in a hurry. Three hours can be made to work well, but at some point it’s just too much for one night. That’s what happened here, as the show started dragging badly at about 9:45. There’s good stuff in here, but if you cut out some of the less important stuff (Kane vs. Striker, 3MB, Alberto) this is a very good show. As is, it’s just ok. It’s nice to have a main event for the PPV though.

Results

Big Show b. Daniel Bryan – Chokeslam

Alberto Del Rio b. Brodus Clay – Cross Armbreaker

Prime Time Players b. Santino Marella/Zack Ryder – Clash of the Titus to Ryder

Ryback b. Dolph Ziggler and David Otunga – Shell Shock to Otunga

Antonio Cesaro b. Justin Gabriel – Neutralizer

Kane b. Matt Striker – Chokeslam

Sheamus b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Big Show interfered

Eve Torres b. Layla – Pin after Layla was kicked off the middle rope

Rhodes Scholars b. Epico/Primo – Terminus to Epico

Kofi Kingston b. The Miz – Trouble in Paradise

Smackdown
Date: March 30, 2012
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Matt Striker

This is going to be a different kind of show. There were only a few matches taped on Monday and if this show is like last year’s, the majority of this show will be partially taped from Miami and Axxess. It’ll mostly be a big commercial for Wrestlemania with some wrestling thrown in on the side. That’s the same thing the shows all week have done and it’s really all they can do this week. Let’s get to it.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is the Louisville Cardinals. They’re evil and need to be destroyed.

As some of you probably know, usually I watch this show online on Friday afternoon so I can save time in the reviews. Well I did that today, and the show had no new matches and was a collection of old Mania matches. Apparently that’s totally different than what the US broadcast had so this is the second Smackdown I’ve done tonight.

Zack Ryder vs. Drew McIntyre

Drew starts off with a slam but Zack comes back with some speed and a dropkick. They go to the corner where Drew gets punched in the face. He manages to throw Zack up in the air and brings up a knee to take over. Off to an armbar now and Ryder is in trouble. A gutbuster puts Ryder down and Drew hooks a combination camel clutch/armbar. Ryder escapes but charges into a boot to put him right back down.

McIntyre does the go to the middle rope and jump off with the clear intention of jumping into the other guy’s raised boot spot. Ryder makes his comeback and hits the Broski Boot but walks into ANOTHER big boot for two. Zack escapes a powerbomb and Drew chases him into the corner but runs into a pair of knees. The Rough Ryder gets the pin at 5:38.

Rating: C. This was all you needed it to be. It covered both teams and hyped up the match a little bit. Not a great match or anything but it’s good to see Ryder getting clean wins, even over someone like McIntyre. I’m thinking Eve is going to play a role in the Mania match though, which isn’t a good thing.

We go to Miami where Lawler and Cole are on a set at Axxess. We see some of the stuff there, such as Undertaker’s Graveyard and the entrance you could walk down.

Video on Taker vs. HHH for the End of an Era.

Video on the Divas tag. I have no issue with looking at Maria Menunos. We’re never going to talk about Beth and Eve’s teased feud over Ryder again are we?

We see some of the art auction which goes to a children’s cancer center. Nothing wrong with that.

Recap of Punk vs. Jericho, I believe the same one from NXT.

Cole and King get in a flag waving contest.

We go back to Raw for the segment on Teddy vs. Johnny with the end of Otunga vs. Santino (they can’t show a full 90 second match?) which resulted in Miz joining Team Ace. We also get the Christian beatdown where he was put out of the match, and finally the Henry vs. Khali bit where Booker made the save for Teddy and joined the team.

Here’s Big Show in the ring to talk about his match on Sunday. He’s had some good success in this business. He won the world title in his first match and he’s won more since, but he doesn’t have a Wrestlemania moment. Wrestling in the main event for the world title isn’t a Wrestlemania moment? He says this is a bit different than most times he’s been at Mania. He can feel it in his mind, his gut and his heart. Cody is going to lose. Cody’s career isn’t going to get made. It’s going to get broken.

Video on Bryan vs. Sheamus.

Some legends weigh in on the Cell match.

Kofi Kingston vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho grabs the arm to start and works a hammerlock. Kofi speeds things up and hits a jumping back elbow followed by a clothesline to send Jericho to the outside. Back inside Kofi tries a springboard but Jericho takes out the ropes to knock him down and we go to a break. Back with Jericho in control but Kofi grabs a rollup for two.

A knee to the head gets two for Jericho. Jericho misses the crotch to the back of Kofi’s head while Kofi is in 619 position (that really needs a name) and Kofi hits the SOS for two. Boom Drop hits but Chris avoids Trouble in Paradise. The top rope cross body gets two. Lionsault eats knees but Kofi’s kick is countered into the Liontamer for the tap at 11:12.

Rating: B. Pretty solid TV match here but the ending was never in doubt. There was no way Jericho was going to lose two days before a world title match at Wrestlemania. I wish Kofi didn’t have to do the job, especially when he’s in a big match on Sunday but when you have 12 people in one match, that’s hard to avoid. Good match though.

We get the Rock vs. Cena segment from Raw to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a very good final push for Wrestlemania. I get that a lot of people aren’t going to be fans of this and that’s ok. The wrestling we got was limited but fine, as there was no way they were going to run the risk of a bunch of injuries. I’m really surprised Jericho performed at all. Good final push for the show, as this was more about getting us fired up for Mania than a regular show.

Results
Zack Ryder b. Drew McIntyre – Rough Ryder
Chris Jericho b. Kofi Kingston – Walls of Jericho

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Ziggler seems to be ok and even worked a dark match with Punk. Barrett has a dislocated elbow. No word on missing time or if he has a broken arm also. Cody and Truth were banged up as well but it doesn’t look to be too bad.

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 13, 2012
Location: Valley View Casino Center, San Diego, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the final show before Elimination Chamber which is the final major show before Wrestlemania. That being said, the Chamber is pretty much set and it appears that one way or another, Punk and Jericho will be feuding after the PPV. It should be interesting to see what the final push is here and if they add any other matches to the card beforehand. Let’s get to it.

We open with the ending of last week’s show where Kane got in Eve’s face. Kane says that tonight, Cena embraces the hate and someone takes a ride in the ambulance.

We open in the arena….with a debate. All six of the Raw guys in the Chamber are going to have a debate. Punk is asked how he thinks he’ll overcome the odds when he’s interrupted by Ace. Ace is back and that’s about it. As for the question, Punk says this debate will NOT end in violence. As for old snickleprints, aka Clown Shoes, congratulations for maintaining power. Punk thinks Ace must have something like beastiality pictures of the Board members to keep his job. He’ll win because he’s the best in the world.

Vickie asks for no booing and Dolph says he’s better than everyone. Truth says if he’s elected, he’ll trade Vickie and Dolph for Hornswoggle and a box of spiders. Ziggler: “HOW DO YOU WORK HERE???” Truth will also make it legally required to say WHAT after every line of the Pledge of Allegiance. Now back to the issue at hand, he’s going to stomp that box of spiders and make them into Spider Stew, which is high in protein and low in carbs. With Little Jimmy by his side, he’ll drink the stew which will make him strong enough to win the Chamber.

Miz gets to follow that. He says he was the main event of Wrestlemania last year. As for his opponents, Kofi is an afterthought, Truth is insane and should be replaced by Little Jimmy. Punk will melt faster than his ice cream bars. Ziggler has only scored with an old woman….and the buzzer rings before Miz can get to Jericho. He keeps talking and the buzzer keeps going.

Kofi says everything can change in one night and he’s tired of being an afterthought. We actually get a Kofi chant. Jericho says he’s surrounded by neophytes and that he’s the best in the world. He’s been in more Chambers and eliminated more people than anyone ever has. He won the last time he was in it too. Punk should just give him the title right now. Punk says he was thinking of the time when Jericho finished 7th on Dancing With The Stars.

Dolph goes off and says this is stupid. Truth says he won’t be talked down to by a man named after Flipper, and we get some dolphin sounds. Jerry says we’re getting all six of them in singles matches tonight, so let’s start with Jericho vs. Kofi. Jericho shoves his podium over and walks up to Punk. Punk holds up the title and Kofi kicks Jericho’s head off.

Chris Jericho vs. Kofi Kingston

This starts after a break. Jericho is still shaken up so Kofi clotheslines him to the outside and hits a suicide dive. Jericho goes face first into the table and they head back in. Chris gets in some right hands and a senton backsplash for two. Off to a modified chinlock but Kofi comes back with a cross body. Jerry makes fun of Jericho’s statements that he came up with all those ideas. Kofi tries a springboard dropkick but lands in the Walls. He makes the ropes after a good while but pops up with Trouble in Paradise which gets a very delayed two. Jericho gets up and the Codebreaker ends this clean at 5:21.

Rating: B-. The match was good but I really don’t get the idea of having Kofi talk about becoming a bigger deal and then having him lose clean like this. Yeah he got in a lot of offense, but maybe they shouldn’t be having matches between six guys that you want to look strong going into a PPV match between them. Just a thought.

We get a clip from the Rumble with Ryder getting Tombstoned.

Cena is with Ryder in the back and Ryder is in a neckbrace and wheelchair. Ryder has flowers for Eve though because he can’t stay away from her. Cena offers to bring her here and keep watch.

Otunga says Ace isn’t the permanent GM but he has an idea to make him GM of both shows.

We recap Big show vs. Orton on Smackdown and get some post show bonus footage where Show chokeslammed Orton.

Here’s Bryan for commentary I believe.

Big Show vs. Randy Orton

This also starts after a break. Show throws Orton around as the size is just too much for Randy. Orton is all shaken as we take a break. Back with Randy holding a sleeper. He jumps on Show’s back and Show goes down to one knee. Show breaks it up but walks into a great dropkick. Orton covers but is launched to the floor on the kickout. Show glares at Bryan who Cole has been complimenting all match.

Another dropkick drapes Show on the top rope and it’s a SUPER elevated DDT. Cole calls it extra vintage. How can it be vintage when it’s never happened before? Orton loads up the RKO and they horribly botch it with Orton never even leaving his feet. Show tries a chokeslam but Randy escapes and hits a good RKO as Bryan runs in for the DQ at 7:21.

Rating: C+. Better match here than Bryan and Show have been having lately. That’s not a knock on Bryan, but there’s only so much Show can sell for him without it getting ridiculous. The botched RKO was awful but the DDT was pretty cool. Bryan running in might as well have been plastered on a board, but this wasn’t terrible.

Bryan lays them both out with the belt post match.

Here’s Shawn for his big promo with HHH. Shawn talks about how people on Twitter ask him why he always shows up at this time of year. BECAUSE IT’S WRESTLEMANIA!!! He says he can’t be the Main Event anymore, but he can be Mr. Hall of Fame now.

Last week he was watching Raw (and yes he gets TV in the middle of nowhere place that he lives) and was waiting for HHH to say yes to Undertaker. Shawn heard him say no and then called Ace, saying he needed to talk to HHH. Then he thought HHH was just messing with the people and Undertaker. Shawn calls out HHH and even plays air guitar during the entrance.

Here’s the Game and they hug. They throw up an X as required by law. HHH says it’s great to see Shawn who has managed to stop hunting wabbits with Elmer Fudd. However, HHH isn’t going to face Taker at the PPV. Shawn saw Undertaker leave last year and HHH know he’d have to end Taker to beat him, and that’s not the guy he is anymore. Shawn says he’s stuck by HHH forever, even when he married that girl. Did that make HHH one of them, as in a corporate sellout?

The Game doesn’t like that. He says it’s called investing in the future. HHH says Shawn can’t understand it so they’re not having this argument here. Shawn says he’s a simple guy and it’s hard for him to understand this corporate stuff. However, he knows a coward when he sees one. No matter how much money you put around it, a coward is still a coward. The fans chant one more match and HHH leaves. Shawn says yeah walk away like a coward.

HHH freaks and comes back, saying Shawn can’t understand what’s going on. Shawn sits on his ranch with his wife and kids but HHH has real life responsibilities. All of this is going to be his and it means its his responsibility. You can’t look at Taker like an opponent because you can’t. Undertaker is a brand who is good for business. Their breed is gone and there’s a new one in town. Only Taker is left and HHH won’t be the one to end that era.

HHH goes nuclear on Shawn, saying that Shawn can’t push HHH to do what Shawn couldn’t get done. Shawn says that’s a great speech that would work on most people, but he’s at peace with where he’s at. HHH has no peace though. He needs to look Shawn in the eye and say he doesn’t want to end the Streak. HHH starts to walk away but Shawn pulls him back and says look him in the ey. There goes the jacket and Shawn puts the mic down. HHH looks him in the eye and says no. Shawn looks like he’s about to cry. He leaves and HHH stands alone in the ring.

He goes to leave…..and a gong sounds. We get another promo video from Taker saying this isn’t over. Taker’s hands are seen pulling out a nice and cutting his hair. He says keep your pity and give me what is mine: immortality. Back in the arena HHH pulls his tie off and we go to a break. WOW that was good.

R-Truth vs. Dolph Ziggler

Dolph takes over to start and hits a dropkick. He struts around and does his handstand in the chinlock. There’s a slam and Ziggy does his situps. Truth however rolls him up for a pin at 2:35.

Santino comes to see Ryder and offers him a breath mint. This isn’t funny.

Tamina Snuka vs. Brie Bella

The name change should help. Beth is on commentary for this and will defend the title on Sunday against Tamina. Brie takes over quickly but Tamina hits a jawbreaker to escape. Snuka hits Nikki and then a Samoan Drop to set up the Superfly Splash for the pin at 1:25. Just how I like my Divas matches: nice and short.

Video on The Rock. He’s a movie star you know.

We go to Cena for a reaction on that video but we hear a woman screaming. It’s Eve who is being thrown into the ambulance by Kane. Cena comes to her rescue but the door is locked. Kane gets back up and slams Cena into said door before getting into the driver’s seat. Cena manages to get up and open the door and Eve dives to him. Kane drives off and Eve kisses him. Cena asks what that was for. We pan over to Ryder who is STUNNED and wants to know what that was.

After a break Ryder is wheeling away and is sorry to see that happens. She just wants to be friends. Ryder is disgusted and wheels away.

CM Punk vs. The Miz

Somehow it’s 10:48 already. This show has flown by and in a good way. Poor Zack is the #1 trending topic in the world. Miz takes over to start and works on the left arm. Reality Check is countered and Punk kicks Miz’s head off. Notice that Punk shakes the feeling back into his arm. That’s called selling and it’s a GOOD THING. Punk strikes away but the arm isn’t working right.

Miz pounds on the arm some more so Punk uses his right arm and legs. The knee and a right arm bulldog look to set up the GTS. Miz escapes into the short DDT for two and there’s the running clothesline in the corner. He comes off the top but Punk grabs a powerslam for two. The Macho Elbow (presumably) is broken up and Miz loads up a superplex. Punk comes back and hits the elbow for two. Miz pops up and tries the Finale but Punk reverses into the Anaconda Vice for the tap at 5:00.

Rating: C. This was a quick match but it wasn’t that bad at all. Miz kept moving and that’s the right idea. He’s not great in the ring but when he’s going fast enough and doesn’t have to be on offense all that much, he can be pretty entertaining. I’m not wild about him losing clean in five minutes, but whatever.

The ambulance is back.

Post break here’s Cena. He says there was an awkward moment back there and for what it’s worth Zack, he’s sorry. This was Kane’s plan all along: to turn everyone against him and make him embrace the hate. It’s a solid plan and it would have worked on anybody else. He’s not anybody else though. For some reason people think there’s an evil switch he can just turn on and off. The fans chant that they don’t hate him.

Cena says it’s been like six years and he’s comfortable in his own skin. Cena says he rises above hate and maybe they were chanting we all hate you. The people can think he’s a lady part having Fruity Pebbles guy, which draws a Fruity Pebbles chant. He says he’ll keep adapting and winning. This Sunday, Kane leaves in an ambulance. As for Dwayne (Rocky chant), Cena has a message for him for Wrestlemania.

Hold that though as here’s Ryder in the wheelchair. He gets up on his crutches and very slowly walks down to the ring. Cena tries to explain but Ryder knocks the mic out of his hands. Cena tries to explain again but Ryder slaps him. John takes the shirt off and the fans chant broken back. Ryder says Cena was never his friend and goes to hit Cena again.

Cena blocks it and pulls his own fist back but Ryder falls to the floor. Ryder says stay away from him and leaves. Cena didn’t hit him. Kane pops up on screen and says that Cena has embraced the hate. Sunday will be his last match until Mania because Cena will have his body leaving the WWE in an ambulance. Kane asks for a round of applause for Cena.

Kane then pops up behind Ryder and SHOVES HIM OFF THE STAGE IN HIS WHEELCHAIR! Cena panics and says get help which is there almost immediately. Eve comes out showing off some nice crack and is all worried. The fans chant for Cena for some reason. Ryder is taken out to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. There isn’t much to fault in this show. This was almost all storyline but they were on fire with them tonight. The stories were interesting and we got some great moments like Ryder’s shock and awe over the kiss. I’m curious as to what they’re doing with him but they can’t have more bad stuff happen to him. Oh who am I kidding, of course they can. Great show tonight.

Results
Chris Jericho b. Kofi Kingston – Codebreaker
Randy Orton b. Big Show via DQ when Daniel Bryan interfered
R-Truth b. Dolph Ziggler – Small Package
Tamina Snuka b. Brie Bella – Superfly Splash
CM Punk b. The Miz – Anaconda Vice

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Monday Night Raw
Date: November 23, 2009
Location: Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
Guest Host: Jesse Ventura

This is another request and it looks like a show with a lot of wrestling on it. Maybe this is a three hour show? Oh ok this is the show with the Breakthrough battle royal, as in the battle royal where the people in it haven’t been world champion in awhile or something like that. Orton is in it so that kind of throws things out the window. Let’s get to it.

I didn’t realize they were using Burn It To The Ground this early.

Yeah it’s a three hour show.

Ventura is introduced but we get Orton instead. This is the night after Survivor Series where Orton’s team lost to Kofi’s team. Orton talks about how Jesse is a radical and someone not afraid to break the rules. He’s not supposed to face Cena for the title anymore but since the guest host can do whatever he wants, Jesse can lift Orton’s ban so he can have his title shot. He requests Jesse’s presence and here’s the Body.

Tonight Jesse’s a wrestler and not the governor. He’s the boss tonight so what he says goes. Orton reminds Jesse of himself when he was younger. Jesse is the revolution, not a part of one party or another. Therefore he’s bringing something new to the WWE tonight. Orton isn’t getting a shot, because it’s the same people getting a shot time after time.

Orton runs through a bunch of the main event guys who he thinks are getting the shot but Jesse says no to each. Tonight there will be a series of matches and they’ll be between people who have never been world champion. The winners will be in a battle royal and the winner is the new #1 contender. Also tonight, we’re getting some firsts, like John Cena vs. CM Punk, as well as DX vs. Hart Dynasty.

Breakthrough Battle Royal Qualifying Match: Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler

Before the match we get a clip of Kofi saving Piper from being punted and hitting the big dive in MSG. Ziggler is more or less just a comedy character at this point. Kofi knocks him into the corner to start but his jump at Ziggler misses and Dolph takes over. Elbow gets two. He has a lot of the show off character in him already and it’s working for him. There’s a chinlock but Kofi pops up and hits the Boom Drop and Trouble in Paradise to qualify for the battle royal later.

Rating: C-. Too short to mean anything but these two have solid chemistry together. Kofi was a bigger star here though so the ending wasn’t really ever in doubt, especially with Kofi being in the middle of his big feud with Orton. He was probably the favorite in the battle royal going into it.

Miz, the US Champion, is thankful for nothing because he expects greatness. The people should be thankful that they get to watch him.

Breakthrough Battle Royal Qualifying Match: Sheamus vs. Finlay

Sheamus eliminated Finlay from the Survivor Series match last night so there’s a backstory here. Finlay takes it to the floor quickly and knocks him over the table. Sheamus takes over back inside and sends Finlay into the post shoulder first. High Cross ends this quick.

Sheamus destroys Finlay post match.

Teddy Long is thankful for….something but Vickie cuts him off. She’s the consultant and brags about it a lot. Eric Escobar is here to waste some time. Teddy tries to hit Vickie in the face with the mashed potatoes but Escobar intercepts them.

Promo for Jesse’s new show Conspiracy Theories.

Orton comes in to talk to Jesse and says he wants in the battle royal and there’s a conspiracy against him. Jesse thinks there might be something to that because of the boss of the company.

Here’s Punk to talk before his match with Cena. Punk is heel now and will be starting the Straight Edge Society pretty soon after this. Punk says he’s thankful for being straightedge. He wouldn’t want to be any of these people and explains what straightedge means. Punk condemns everyone that commits gluttony on Thanksgiving and talks about how they’re all going to use a crutch afterwards. Through his sober eyes, he can see John Cena.

CM Punk vs. John Cena

Feeling out process to start, resulting in Cena ramming into Punk which hurts Punk’s shoulder. Cena takes over by ramming Punk into buckles but the STF can’t be hooked yet. We take a break and come back with Punk holding a headscissors on the mat. Apparently Punk hit a springboard clothesline to take over during the break. Cena stands up into an electric chair as Punk panics.

Cena can’t really get anything going after that though. Punk whips him into the corner and Cena is in trouble. Neckbreaker gets two. Cena comes back with the shoulders and ProtoBomb. Shuffle looks to set up the FU but Punk flips over the top. Punk tries the GTS but Cena lands on his feet and leg drags Punk into the STF. Punk makes the rope though and things slow down.

High kick puts Cena down for a very long two. This is starting to get good which means that it’s probably over. There’s the running knee in the corner but John counters the bulldog. Top rope Fameasser hits for two. Another AA attempt is countered by a dropkick for two. Punk tries another running knee in the corner but Cena ducks and hits a middle rope AA for the pin.

Rating: B. It’s not quite MITB 2011 but once the commercial was over this got a lot better in a hurry. These two have chemistry together and every time you see them in the ring together you’re going to get a treat. The kickouts at the end were getting very good very quickly and it’s cool to see Cena have to do something bigger than his usual finishers, which is what made this work so well.

Vince comes up to see Jesse in the back and says he won’t accept a challenge for a match. Jesse says that’s not why he’s here. He wants Vince to be hurt mentally. Jesse gets in a great line as he talks about how the state of Minnesota’s budget was over 30 billion dollars a year, so this company is tiny by comparison. Tonight, Vince is going to be an announcer like when he first started. Jesse hands him a tuxedo and says go get ready. We even get the return of the bowtie!

Breakthrough Battle Royal Qualifying Match: Chavo Guerrero/Jack Swagger/Chris Masters vs. Mark Henry/MVP/R-Truth

All three winners advance. Swagger vs. MVP to get us going. MVP takes over quickly and knocks Swagger down with a right hand for two. We get a weird sequence as Chavo tries to come in off the top onto MVP but MVP kind of catches him in a suplex. It looked really awkward. Off to Masters and MVP is in trouble. Truth comes in for some bad punches and it’s off to Henry to clean house. Lie Detector by Truth pins Masters. This was nothing again.

DX is in the back and HHH wants to know why Shawn kicked him last night in the triple threat. Shawn says it was for the championship and he thought HHH would Pedigree him first. HHH says Shawn kicked him three times. Shawn says he was aiming for Cena….and they’re interrupted by a midget lawyer who serves them with papers. Oh dear.

Breakthrough Battle Royal Qualifying Match: Evan Bourne vs. Primo

And never mind as Orton jumps Primo during his entrance and throws him off the stage.

Orton comes to the ring and says he’s taking Primo’s spot. Jesse pops up on the Tron and says he likes Orton’s style so he gets the qualifying spot instead of Primo. He says he always broke rules so it’s ok here. That somehow makes sense.

Breakthrough Battle Royal Qualifying Match: Evan Bourne vs. Randy Orton

Orton sends Bourne into the post for two almost immediately. Bourne comes back with some high flying stuff and the double knees from the top get two. RKO hits about a second later for the pin.

We get some clips of Vince and Jesse on commentary.

Trailer for The Marine 2.

Kelly Kelly/Mickie James/Melina vs. Michelle McCool/Layla/Jillian

It’s Pilgrims vs. Indians with the bad girls being the Pilgrims. Cole and Jerry crack up during the entrances. There’s a special guest timekeeper: The Gobbledy Gooker. I’ve got NOTHING. The Indians come out to Tatanka’s music. Melina vs. Jillian starts us off. Jillian takes over to start and the fans are silent. Laycool walks out and Melina pins Jillian. So freaking stupid but Kelly’s legs looked great.

Jerry goes in to talk to the winners post match and the Gooker jumps Melina. It’s the returning Maryse. Maryse takes forever to get out of the costume. Well she certainly looks great.

D-Generation X vs. Hart Dynasty

Shawn vs. Kidd to start us off. I’d love to see them have a 4 minute match or so. Shawn knocks him down and nips up but it’s off to Smith. The Harts take over on Shawn via the power of Smith. Back to Kidd who hooks a chinlock. Smith loads up a powerslam but Shawn slips off his back and they ram heads. There’s the double tag and HHH comes in to face Kidd. Spinebusters all around but Smith breaks up the Pedigree. Shawn breaks up something from Smith with Chin Music and the Pedigree takes out Kidd for the pin.

Rating: C. Quick match but nothing to see here. It’s nice to see guys like the Harts get to rub elbows with DX and there’s no point to seeing them win here. The idea here was that DX needed to prove they were still together and a cohesive unit, especially given what’s happening after the match.

Post match Jericho comes out and says that DX gets the title shot against Jeri-Show for the titles at TLC. HHH makes fat jokes about Big Show and Shawn says that it’ll be a TLC match. Jericho cuts off the catchphrase and goes on a rant about how DX may be great but they’ve never been tag team champions. You know, because those are so valuable.

Here’s Batista to Rey’s music. Last night Batista turned heel and destroyed Rey. Batista talks about how Rey had a chance to be a tough guy but last night he had to explain things to Rey. He talks about destroying Rey last night with three Batista Bombs and here’s Kane. He wants to know what Batista is going to do about Kane interrupting him. Kane asks Dave to make an example out of him. Batista drops the mic and walks out.

Breakthrough Battle Royal Qualifying Match: Cryme Tyme vs. Legacy

Both winners advance. Cody and JTG get us going but Cody makes a blind tag to give Legacy the advantage. Cody hits a release suplex and a dropkick gets two. Off to Shad who does a bit better with the power stuff. Monty Brown’s Alpha Bomb gets two on Ted. Everything breaks down and Dream Street pins Shad. Too short to grade but it was your run of the mill tag team squash.

Kane vs. Batista on Friday.

The Divas have a pie fight, resulting in Santino taking one in the face. He takes more and more as he keeps bashing women but winds up knocking one into Vickie’s face.

Breakthrough Battle Royal

Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, MVP, Mark Henry, R-Truth, Kofi Kingston, Sheamus, Randy Orton

Vince and Jesse are on commentary for this one. Vince comes out to the theme from SNME which is just awesome. It’s great to hear Vince on commentary as he clearly loves what his product is and is a promoter at heart. Legacy stays in one corner and immediately go after Kofi. It’s a big brawl but Sheamus stays in a corner to himself. Orton is on the floor but he went through the ropes.

Things slow down before they ever got going. I don’t think Sheamus has had any contact with anyone yet. He was biding his time though and picks off R-Truth, throwing him out after a clothesline. Legacy works over Kofi in the corner and Orton is back in. Sheamus Brogue Kicks MVP and tosses him to get us down to six. Henry goes after Sheamus but Legacy makes the save for some reason. Sheamus is on the apron but gets back in.

Henry double clotheslines Legacy to the floor but Sheamus drills him in the back and dumps Henry. We’re down to Orton, Kofi and Sheamus. Orton and Kofi hammer away on each other and Sheamus gets knocked down. Jesse goes on a small anti-Chaney rant as Kofi is sent to the floor. He skins the cat though and headscissors Randy out. Sheamus takes Kofi’s head off with a double ax, knocking him to the floor to become #1 contender.

Rating: D. Very boring match but it was a great thing to see them really trying to push someone else as a main event guy. That was something that was badly missing at this point and pushing Sheamus was as good a move as they could have made. It gave them some fresh blood in the main event and if 2009 taught us anything, it was that Raw was dying for fresh main event blood.

Verne Troyer is hosting next week. Oh geez.

We’re having the contract signing for Cena vs. Sheamus right now to close the show. Jesse demands that Cena get out here right now and here’s the champ to his traditional mixed reaction. They sit down and Sheamus says he’s the #1 contender. Cena says that usually, the guy saying that is a future Hall of Famer. Cena wants to know why he should take Sheamus seriously after all he’s done is beat up Lawler and Noble. John says he’s been here for 8 years and gone against the best and is champion today because he’s earned it.

Cena goes into serious mode and says this is all he’s got. He’s gone up against everyone and every single one of them has been taken down. When Sheamus signs that contract, he better be ready to go to war. Both guys sign and Ventura thinks there’s a conspiracy to keep Cena champion. Cena is the perfect looking champion that everyone wants. Jesse didn’t get a title shot because he was a rebel. Cena gets in Jesse’s face, allowing Sheamus to kick his head off. Sheamus rams him into the post and then powerslams him through the table. Jesse says it’s a table match for the title. Sheamus holds up the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. It’s not a terrible showbut the three hours weren’t needed. Pushing someone new to the main event is a fine idea but getting there was a problem. Some of these matches could have been clipped and the show would have been fine. It’s not bad but it takes so long to get to the good ending that you’re not going to care once you get there. Jesse is always worth seeing though.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 6, 2012
Location: Chesapeake Energy Arena, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re on the second of the three Raws between the Rumble and the Chamber. Last week’s show was pretty awesome with the return of Undertaker to apparently challenge HHH. Also it appears that HHH is back in charge instead of Johnny Ace which should at least be interesting. We should get some more matches for the PPV tonight too. Let’s get to it.

We open with a gong. Oh wait it’s just a recap from last week with Taker returning and seeming challenging HHH.

6 Pack Challenge tonight with the winner entering the Chamber last. Also Show vs. Bryan.

Here’s HHH to open things up. He says he was here last week to fire Johnny Ace. He wasn’t here to wish him well, but rather well in all of his future endeavors. However he never got that far. Ace being called a man is an exaggeration as he’s more of a weasel. Apparently Ace flew to Stamford to plead for another chance and HHH has to wait on the proposal. The decision should be in by tomorrow morning.

However he’s not here for that, but rather to talk about the return of the Undertaker. He talks about hearing the gong go off and it still gives him chills. Taker is the only person that humbles HHH when they’re in the ring together. Last week though, HHH didn’t feel humble or anything like that. He felt sorry for the Undertaker. He knows what he did to Undertaker last year and he chooses to remember the Undertaker in a certain way.

HHH plays a highlight reel of Taker’s career and I think this is all from Wrestlemania. That’s how HHH wants to remember him, not like this, which brings up a video of Taker not being able to stand after last year’s match. Due to that, the challenge for Wrestlemania is declined. If they have to do it again, HHH will have to finish it. He respects Taker too much and this is over.

HHH goes to leave and his music cuts off. There go the lights and a video from the match last year plays. Taker is somewhere and says it’s not over. The victory last year means nothing and he wants what belongs to him. So it’s Shawn’s storyline from two years ago with Taker in Shawn’s place?

Daniel Bryan vs. Big Show

AJ comes out with Bryan in a neckbrace. Show takes him straight to the corner and the power begins. He throws Bryan around a lot until Bryan gets in a kick to the knee and we take a break. Back with Bryan’s half crab being broken as Big Show powers him around. Spear gets two. Show loads up the chokeslam but Bryan counters into a guillotine choke. Bryan gets in a shot to the leg and goes up but Show kicks him to the floor. Now Bryan is holding his knee but he was goldbricking. Show charges at Bryan but almost crushes AJ again. Bryan takes AJ to the back and loses by countout at 7:32.

Rating: D+. These two just do not work well against each other at all. Show is good against someone like Henry. The problem is that Bryan is not Henry and can’t have a ton of convincing offense against the Big Show. That makes the matches quite boring so what’s the point of watching them fight, especially when Bryan loses almost every time?

Bryan says Show tried to run her over on purpose and she’s more important than the title. On Sunday (the PPV is in two weeks), he’ll still be Bryan, a vegan and the champion.

Carl Edwards, a NASCAR driver drove his car into the arena last week and met with Cena. Cena will be the official starter for the Daytona 500.

Video on the Elimination Chamber.

Here’s Otunga in the ring and he has something to say. He praises Ace and wants the Board of Directors to keep Ace on the job. Otunga asks for us to join him in prayer and he Tebows. We get an announcement from HHH that right now, Otunga has a match.

Sheamus vs. David Otunga

Otunga is in his suit, sweater and bowtie. Sheamus immediately loads up the Celtic Cross but Otunga escapes, losing the sweater in the process. A double ax takes him down and there are the ten forearms. The shirt is torn now as well. Otunga holds onto the top rope and grabs a DDT to take over. He stomps away and chokes a little bit but Sheamus is all ticked off. Brogue Kick ends this in 2:04.

Here’s Jericho who says the end of the world is here. He’s here to end the lying, the plagiarism and all that jazz. Everyone who is in this ring is a Chris Jericho wannabe. The fans are all wannabes too. He got all of the fans to believe whatever he wanted. Jericho admits he trolled all of them. Miz scowling in a suit is a Jericho thing. Kofi flying around is a Jericho thing. Dolph walking to the ring with Vickie is a Jericho thing because he walked to the ring with Stephanie. O……..k?

Then we have CM Punk. Punk says he’s the best in the world but in reality he’s a Chris Jericho wannabe and he knows deep down inside that Jericho is the best in the world. He doesn’t have to write it on the back of a t-shirt but he knows it. Jericho is back to claim what is his and that means the end of the world of CM Punk. Here’s Punk who comes in with a mic and drops it. Instead he holds up the title then turns his back on Jericho. Jericho looks like he’s pulling his arm back to hit Punk but doesn’t and the champ leaves. Jericho yells about wanting Punk to say something but Punk keeps walking.

Randy Orton/Great Khali vs. Wade Barrett/Cody Rhodes

Orton and Barrett start but it’s quickly off to Khali with the chops. He chops Orton HARD for the tag back in. Off to Rhodes and we’re in an 80s style kick and punch match. Orton hits the elevated DDT and Khali tags himself back in. They get in an argument but Khali chops Rhodes out of the air during a Beautiful Disaster attempt for the pin at 3:45.

Rating: D-. This match happened. That’s about all I’ve got for it. I get that it’s supposed to push the idea of distension and everything but that doesn’t mean that it’s a good match. Khali was supposed to be dominant and while it kind of worked, the execution of it came off as horrible.

Khali tries to chop Orton post match but takes the RKO instead.

Now we hear about a Twitter argument between Rock and Cena. Now we see the Cena video AGAIN.

Tamina/Alicia Fox/Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres vs. Beth Phoenix/Natalya/Bella Twins

We get an inset promo from Beth who talks about how she’s unbeatable. She starts with Eve and the beating begins. Off to a Bella who is chopped in the chest to bring her in. She walks into a Samoan Drop from Tamina and the Superfly Splash ends this in 1:33.

HHH is in the back when Ace comes up. Ace is all smiley and says he’s still the interim GM. He met with the Board earlier today and they’re very nice people. He’ll accept whatever decision they make. Shawn is going to be here next week. Also it’s officially Cena vs. Kane in an ambulance match. Speaking of ambulances, HHH says Ace’s career is on a flatline. If Ace doesn’t leave right now, he’ll be flatlined.

The decision on Ace will be announced tomorrow morning at 10AM.

We get the same video from earlier with Taker’s voiceover.

Ace says he thinks the Board is looking for someone honest rather than someone who is a brute.

CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. R-Truth vs. The Miz vs. Chris Jericho vs. Kofi Kingston

This is one fall to a finish and the winner gets to be #6 in the Chamber. Roberts fumbles over the rules before the match starts. Everyone is in the ring at once so I’m not going to try to keep up with what’s going on. Jericho heads to the floor which is a smart move. Other than him, everyone but Ziggler and Kofi go to the floor. Truth TOTALLY misses a dive and crashes to the floor on his back.

Ziggler teases a dive but stops to strut. Punk clotheslines him down for two as we take a break. Back and Truth is carried out. Jericho and Kofi are on the floor and Kofi is down. Punk hits a combination neckbreaker/DDT on both heels but it only gets two on Miz. The Vice goes on both guys but Kofi makes the save. It’s down to Punk vs. Jericho but Miz and Dolph come back in.

Jericho and Miz clothesline each other down as this match is going VERY slowly. Punk goes up for a superplex on Dolph but it winds up being a Tower of Doom. Miz covers Punk as Jericho covers Dolph so the referee counts both, getting two both times. Miz tries for the Finale on Jericho but Kofi comes in with Trouble in Paradise to Miz, sending him to the floor. Middle rope missile dropkick takes Kofi down and it’s off to a chinlock.

Jericho misses the Lionsault and blocks Trouble in Paradise. There are the Walls for Kofi but Punk comes back in with a knee to the back of Jericho’s head. Chris is sent to the floor and Ziggler tries a rollup, getting two. GTS takes Ziggler down but Jericho breaks it up, sending Punk onto the table. Jericho slides in and steals the pin on Ziggler at 12:25.

Rating: C+. The problem with this show is based in this match. The problem is that with so many people being in this match, there’s nothing else to get us through the rest of the show. This was decent but once Truth was gone, the crowd was basically dead for the rest of the time. It’s not bad but it’s nothing great.

Jericho sits like Punk in the ring.

We hear screaming and Eve is being yelled at by Kane. He says he has to do something because of the hate. Cena is starting to embrace the hate and when he finally does it fully, he’ll be in a better place. Until then though, Kane is afraid for Eve and Cena. More than that though, he’s afraid of himself. Ok then.

Overall Rating: C+. This was much more about storytelling and moving things forward towards the Chamber and then on to Mania. It wasn’t as good as last week’s, but we got a lot done tonight which needed to happen. There’s plenty of time before Mania, so it was good to get some of this out of the way. The problem with the main event as I said though is that it gives us nothing but Smackdown matches before then, which is ok but it still gets a little boring. Good show but not great.

Results
Big Show b. Daniel Bryan via countout
Sheamus b. David Otunga – Brogue Kick
Great Khali/Randy Orton b. Cody Rhodes/Wade Barrett – Chop to Rhodes
Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Tamina/Alicia Fox b. Beth Phoenix/Natalya/Bella Twins – Superfly Splash to Brie Bella
Chris Jericho b. CM Punk, Dolph Ziggler, Kofi Kingston, The Miz and R-Truth – Jericho pinned Ziggler after a GTS from Punk

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