Impact Wrestling
Date: September 24, 2014
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re wrapping up the summer in New York and three shows left before Bound For Glory. The interesting thing for tonight is a tournament for a future title shot which may or may not be at the biggest show of the year. Granted at this point it looks like that’s Lockdown anymore as Bound For Glory is shaping up as another One Night Only level show. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video on Roode vs. Lashley from last week where Bobby almost won the title.

JB explains the tournament concept: five qualifying matches with the winners facing each other in a five way later tonight. The winner can challenge for any match they choose and the matches are surprises. This would fit better if they all hadn’t been announced on TNA’s website. MVP, Magnus, Austin Aries, Abyss and Robbie E. will all have qualifying matches.

Video on MVP.

Gold Rush Tournament Qualifying Match: MVP vs. Low Ki

Low Ki gets a video as well, talking about wanting to push the roster over the years. Feeling out process to start with MVP shoving Low Ki into the corner. He rams Ki into the buckle but gets kicked hard in the chest to send MVP across the ring. A slam out of the corner gets two for MVP but Ki fires off some chops and kicks to the chest. MVP opens up his vest and says hit me harder so Ki snaps off one of the hardest chops I’ve ever seen. MVP comes back with a knee to the ribs and a kick to the face to send Low Ki out to the floor. We actually get a plancha to take Low Ki before going to a break.

Back with MVP still in control with a facebuster and the Ballin Elbow. Low Ki gets back up and is thrown into the air, only to land in a standing position on MVP’s shoulders and jump forward to dropkick MVP in the back. Awesome looking move. A kick to the head gets two on MVP before Ki sends him outside for a big springboard dive. Back in and Ki tries a cartwheel kick but MVP takes out his leg. The Drive By is enough to send MVP to the finals at 13:05.

Rating: C+. This was a stiffer match than usual with both guys hammering on each other. Ki looked good with that spot of landing on MVP’s shoulders looking incredible. MVP needed a big win as he’s almost only been a talker for the last few months with only a handful of matches here and there.

The BroMans argue over whose girlfriend is hotter. They agree to disagree but Robbie brags about being in the tournament and then being on Amazing Race with Brooke starting this Sunday. He plans on switching between both girls but Jesse points out that cameras will be everywhere. Like the one filming them right now. They point out said camera and Robbie runs. This was actually kind of funny.

Quick tribute to Eric the Actor from the Howard Stern Show, a big wrestling fan who passed away over the weekend.

Video on the Tag Team Title series. The Wolves will pick the final stipulation next week.

Robbie E. comes out for his match and says he’s a huge star all around the world.

Gold Rush Tournament Qualifying Match: Robbie E. vs. Tajiri

The fans chant WELCOME BACK to Tajiri, suggesting that this was taped out of order with other shows. A big kick sends Robbie out to the floor but he sends Tajiri’s ribs into the apron. Back in and we hit the chinlock for a bit before Tajiri pops up with his namesake handspring elbow for two. There’s the Tarantula but the Buzzsaw Kick misses. Robbie gets two off an implant DDT but the referee gets bumped, allowing Tajiri to blow the mist and hit the Buzzsaw to advance at 3:40.

Rating: D+. I’m a fan of Tajiri’s and he’s about the same guy he was back in ECW at this point. That’s very impressive given that he’s in his 40s now and still goes just as well. He’s a guy like Rhino where you know what you’re getting and he doesn’t shift from that, but he can still make it work.

Spud insists there are no problems with he and Ethan Carter III and takes a call from him. The funny bit here: he shows the phone and it says “EC3 – BEST FRIEND”. After a break he’s still on the phone and tries to stand up to Ethan but gets talked down. Much like Robbie, he runs when he sees a camera on him.

Gold Rush Tournament Qualifying Match: Austin Aries vs. Knux

The fans are entirely behind Aries who tries a test of strength for some reason. Aries rolls away so Knux does a handstand, only to have Aries spin around. Taz changes the story again by saying Rebel and Knux are dating, even though I thought they were brother and sister before. Knux gets taken down by a wristlock so he nips up to a huge response. Knux takes a bow so Aries tries a brainbuster to stop the fun. The big guy shoves him off so Aries dropkicks the knee out and takes over in the corner.

Aries knocks him to the floor but Knux blocks the suicide dive with a big boot. Back in and Aries fires off more kicks to the leg to send Knux outside again. The suicide dive connects, but it’s with the Freak and Craazy Steve instead of Knux. Back in again with Knux getting two off a huge side slam. The Sky High is countered with a hurricanrana and Aries nails the corner dropkick. Knux is too big for the brainbuster so Austin hits some discus forearms and another corner dropkick before getting the big man up for the brainbuster and the pin at 7:04.

Rating: C. I liked this match better than I was expecting to but the Menagerie makes me smile most of the time. Knux is a talented guy but he can only go so far as the leader of a failing carnival. To be fair though it’s very nice to look at Rebel….who may or may not be his sister and/or girlfriend depending on what week it is.

Video on Roode vs. Lashley from last week.

Gold Rush Tournament Qualifying Match: Mr. Anderson vs. Magnus

Magnus jumps him to start and slams him face first into the mat for some early two counts. We hit the chinlock for a bit before a clothesline gets two on Anderson. Back up and a double clothesline puts both guys down before Anderson wins a slugout. Magnus grabs a belly to back suplex into a slam for a close two. He loads it up again but Anderson reverses into the Mic Check for the pin at 6:50.

Rating: D. Really basic match here until the last 45 seconds or so. These guys are the low level main event wrestlers in TNA right now as they’re both former World Champions but neither guy has anything going for him. The match wasn’t terrible but it really didn’t feel like they had any interest in trying out there.

Quick video on set of the Knockouts calendar shoot.

Video on Team 3D going into the Hall of Fame.

We recap the tournament so far.

Video on Gail Kim vs. Havok for next week. This is designed to make Havok look like a monster.

Gold Rush Tournament Qualifying Match: Abyss vs. Samuel Shaw

The fans chant “Dexter Morgan” at Shaw. Abyss knocks him down and grabs a chokeslam but Shaw kicks him in the ribs to escape. Instead Abyss grabs him by the throat again and shoves him out to the floor in a big crash. Shaw fights back on the floor and rams Abyss into the steps.

He goes after Abyss’ arm in what is called a smart move by ramming it into various objects. This idea works in theory, but it would make more sense to go after the arm Abyss uses for his big moves. To be fair though, Shaw is a bit out there. Shockingly enough, Abyss makes a comeback using moves with his strong arm, including a chokeslam to put Shaw on the floor. Shaw grabs a chair and blasts Abyss in the head, which Hebner somehow doesn’t see. Back in and the Black Hole Slam ends Shaw at 6:35.

Rating: D+. Well now that that formality is out of the way, let’s get on with the main event. This was the usual tournament match where a big name beats up someone that has no chance of beating them. At least they kept it short as there’s no real reason to sit through a long match which isn’t very good and has no surprise to it.

Gold Rush Tournament Finals: Austin Aries vs. Abyss vs. Tajiri vs. MVP vs. Mr. Anderson

Winner gets a shot at any title at anytime and it’s one fall to a finish. MVP stays in the ring while everyone else brawls on the floor but Abyss will have none of that. Instead MVP bails to the corner so Abyss can beat up Anderson to start. It’s off to Tajiri who wins a kickoff with Anderson before missing a charge into the corner. Anderson misses a charge of his own and hits the post, giving Tajiri a rollup for two. Aries comes in and grabs on Tajiri’s head but Taijri scores with the handspring elbow for two.

Back with Aries countering the Tarantula but getting kneed in the back to block the suicide dive. Anderson comes in for the rolling fireman’s carry for two but it’s off to Abyss. Aries escapes the chokeslam and slaps MVP for a tag. MVP doesn’t want to come in so Aries catapults him in over the top but MVP tags out to Tajiri.

Abyss brings in Anderson who is quickly caught in the Tarantula. Mr. slams Tajiri down off the top but MVP tags himself in. Anderson looks right at him before MVP hits the Drive By for two as Aries makes the save. Everything breaks down and MVP loads up the Drive By on Aries, only to get rolled up for the pin at 15:12.

Rating: C. The match was ok but we’ve seen all these guys once tonight so this was kind of repetitive. Aries winning is the best option, even though we’ve seen him vs. Lashley before. I can’t imagine he’d pick Joe, even though it would be an entertaining match. This wasn’t bad but it didn’t work all that well.

Overall Rating: D+. Well that was different. This was literally a one idea show and they’re already recycling challengers for the World Title. You have to assume it’s the World Title, but there was that one time when Kaval went after the Intercontinental Title instead of the World Title like a sane person. It’s now clear that Bound For Glory isn’t going to be an important show this year, which is a shame given that they usually do something big with it. Then again TNA needs to worry about staying alive at this point and how would the biggest show of the year help them do that?

The wrestling wasn’t great tonight and I’m not a fan of one concept shows. This felt much more like a One Night Only and that’s not something you want to do. TNA survives off Impact anymore and now they’re going with that one idea formula which has worked SO well before. Nothing much to see here and it could have been spread out over a few weeks to set up some other stuff.

Results

MVP b. Low Ki – Drive By

Tajiri b. Robbie E. – Buzzsaw Kick

Austin Aries b. Knux – Brainbuster

Mr. Anderson b. Magnus – Mic Check

Abyss b. Samuel Shaw – Black Hole Slam

Austin Aries b. Abyss, Mr. Anderson, MVP and Tajiri – Rollup to MVP

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Here’s a guy who is better than you would think. Today is Mike Knox, currently known as Knux in TNA.

Knox started in 1998 and we’ll pick things up as a jobber on Heat at some point in 2003.

Maven vs. Mike Knox

Knox shoves him into the corner to start but gets caught in an armbar. Off to a hammerlock as commentator Al Snow is very proud of his student. A dropkick stops Mike’s comeback and we hit another armbar. Knox sends him into the buckle and gets two off a neckbreaker, only to miss a middle rope elbow. A nice spinwheel kick gets two for Maven and he nails a middle rope bulldog. Maven heads up top for a missile dropkick and the pin.

Rating: D. Maven gets less impressive every time I watch him. There’s just nothing to him and he never has anything worth watching. To be fair though he was a glorified rookie at this point who didn’t have enough experience to do anything significant in the ring. Nothing to see here and Knox was just a jobber.

He would head to the big company full time in 2005 and start in Deep South Wrestling. However, that company is REALLY hard to find video of, so first up in WWE was ECW on Sci-Fi, including this match on July 4, 2006.

Mike Knox vs. Little Guido

Knox says Kelly is his so we don’t get to see her. The fans chant at him as they should. Guido jumps him to the pop of the night. He hits a dropkick to the side of the head but a second attempt misses, allowing Knox to take over. The fans want pizza and think Knox can’t wrestle. Knox goes into an EXTREME series of bodyslams as the fans think this is boring. Guido tries to get something going but gets his head kicked off and the spinning downward spiral ends this.

Rating: F. This match, if it wasn’t already, proves that ECW is dead. Guido was a big deal (kind of) in ECW, but here he’s a jobber. You know, like everyone that isn’t one of the top ECW guys. And to Mike Knox? The most generic of generic big men ever? They were going off on him here. Imagine what he would have gotten in the ECW Arena. But this is the new ECW, where the fans mean nothing and the ECW Originals are a stable 8 months from now.

Knox would appear on the December to Dismember PPV with his girlfriend Kelly Kelly.

Ariel/Kevin Thorn vs. Kelly/Mike Knox

Kelly dated Knox apparently and at this point is an exhibitionist and AWFUL. I mean she’s ridiculously bad so we get Knox and Thorn. Knox has no beard at this point and is somehow more worthless than he was before. Oh dang it they’re letting him talk. Oh good Kelly is talking instead. She likes Punk, who gets a chant. That chant didn’t happen though. No one likes Punk. What people want is HARDCORE HOLLY AND TEST!!!

Thorn is a vampire and Ariel is a fortune telling gypsy or something. She would become Salinas in TNA in case you’re more familiar with them. This is a freaking disgrace. I’m glad no one bought it as it makes things seem a bit better. No one cares about this either as since both girls can’t wrestle we more or less have a Knox vs. Thorn match. And here they are. At least Kelly looks hot. Kelly tries to get the tag to Knox but he leaves. Note: the fans chant for Punk to come make the save. To make sure it’s clear: Punk is WAY over. Sandman makes the save instead which gets a nice pop.

Rating: D-. Kelly looking hot is the only reason this passes. I just want to get to the end of this.

Knox would stop meaning much after the early story. Here’s a match from ECW on May 20, 2008.

Mike Knox/Layla vs. Colin Delaney/Kelly Kelly

Layla beats up Kelly to start but gets headscissored down to the floor. Back in and a cross body gets two on Layla with Knox making the save. Knox LAUNCHES Colin out to the floor, allowing Kelly to hit the K2 for the pin on Layla.

Oddly enough, Knox would get a pretty solid push later in the year, including a spot in the Raw World Title match in the Elimination Chamber at No Way Out 2009.

Raw World Title: Kofi Kingston vs. John Cena vs. Kane vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Mike Knox vs. Christ Jericho

Cena is out first to a pretty decent pop and is the reigning champion coming in. This is easily the high point of Knox and his beard of awesome. Kane is your jobber of the day here as he’d never win a world title right? Now we get to the meat of the match as Kofi comes out and Edge jumps him, taking his place in the match. I’ll get to the big problem with this at the end. Also the winner is pretty clear now isn’t he? A Conchairto ends Kofi and Edge jumps into his pod.

Rey comes down to help Kofi as Jericho is out so we’ll start with them. They already had that epic feud over the IC Title so there’s automatic history here. Both guys fight for control and Rey can’t get a 619. Rey gets a flip over the ropes and the beating is on. Rey takes a HARD shot into the glass. Mysterio steals the Spiderman spot from RVD and gets a rana and seated senton to take over.

Kane is in third and goes right for Rey. Jericho tries to jump Kane and it gets him nowhere. Rey fights with what he can but there’s only so much he can do against a guy the size of Kane. Rey manages to get both of them in position for the 619 but Kane pops up to stop him. Rey, the superhero that he is, manages to get the big man down and get the area code move (he’s screwed if that ever changes). Jericho adds a Codebreaker for no cover as Lawler is criticizing them too. A seated senton off the top of a pod gets rid of Kane. Was there a need to take out Jericho first though? Anyway Kane is gone.

In fourth is Knox who is evil because he felt like being evil. There was something so refreshing about that and I loved it. He doesn’t really have a point to beating on Rey. He just kind of likes it. Simple but effective. Jericho sends him out to the cage but the springboard cross body doesn’t work at all. Rey gets caught in a Tree of Woe in the cage which is kind of a cool visual.

Knox is a generic big man but he does the job pretty well. He tries to set Rey for his finisher back in the ring but Jericho grabs a Codebreaker for the pin to get us to the final four. That one I can understand as Jericho had an opening and Mike had one arm free instead of two so it was more taking an opening rather than saving Rey. Anyway Edge is in fourth.

Rey goes right after him and the beating is on. Jericho gets both guys down and can kind of pick his spots. Lionsault to Rey gets knees and an Edge-O-Matic gets two on Jericho. Spear misses Rey and the Codebreaker misses Edge. Jericho stops the 619 to Edge for no apparent reason other than hatred of Mysterio I suppose. Tower of Doom spot as Jericho gets a sunset bomb on Edge out of the corner as Edge hits a release German on Rey, who is more or less dead.

Here comes Cena and Edge does his best Vince imitation as he turns around to meet him. Cena goes off on everyone but mainly focuses on Edge. Various moves take down just about everyone as Cena is ALL fired up. Five Knuckle Shuffle to Edge as it’s all Cena. FU to Edge is blocked by a Codebreaker to Jericho. 619 to Cena sets up the spear from Edge and CENA IS GONE!!! Edge is totally shocked that he finally pinned Cena.

It’s Rey vs. Jericho vs. Edge once the match gets going again after more or less stopping cold after that. Rey sets for a 619 to both Canadians but Edge gets out of the way. Jericho grabs the Walls but is rolled up by Rey to get us down to one on one for the title. Spear eats turnbuckle and Rey gets a rollup for two and a BIG reaction from the crowd which is totally into this.

Rey gets that soccer style kick to the side of the head for another long two. The announcers talk about the show vs. show thing which is rather stupid but we’ll just go with it as they insist it’s a big and important thing or whatever. Rey gets his fourth long two off a tornado DDT. Rey goes for some kind of a springboard move but Edge kicks him in the face to put him back down.

Powerbomb on the cage can’t hit as Rey counters into a facejam on the cage. FREAKING OW MAN! Rey modifies the 619 to kick Edge in the back of his head. In a SICK spot, Rey charges at Edge but gets launched into the air and into the glass which he literally bounces off of. FREAKING OW MAN PART DEUX THE SEQUEL WITH MOST OF THE ORIGINAL CAST GONE AND A WEAKER STORY THAT IS RIDING ON THE NAME OF THE ORIGINAL! Spear ends it as Rey is mostly dead already.

Rating: A-. Another great match here, but this is what I hated about it that I mentioned earlier on: Edge was distraught about losing his world title two and a half hours ago so he goes out and wins another. What could have been a big devastating loss for Edge that gave him something to do for a few months as he tries to get the title back is thrown away as he now has the OTHER world title and is just fine for it. It makes it seem like the world title is easily replaceable which isn’t what it should be at all. Anyway, the match was very fun and the crowd was into it the whole time, making this an excellent match.

After falling back down the card, Knox was rarely involved in anything major. Here’s a tag match from Smackdown on September 4, 2009.

Finlay/Great Khali vs. Mike Knox/Kane

Kane is all psycho and evil here (no really) and has a Singapore Cane match coming up with Khali at the PPV. Finlay and Knox get us started with Finlay being dropped face first on the buckle. Kane misses the clothesline and it’s off to Khali, sending Kane running away. Khali puts the Vice Grip on Knox who bails to the floor. We take a break and come back with Khali clotheslining Kane down and chopping him in the corner.

Back to Finlay vs. Knox with Finlay hitting the running earthquake drop for two. Apparently Finlay is afraid of Knox for some reason. Finlay is sent shoulder first into the post and it’s off to Kane to work over the arm. Knox works on an armbar followed by a crossbody of all things for two. Back to Kane who gets low bridged by Finlay. Khali has to save his brother/manager Runjin Singh and in the distraction, Finlay hits Knox with the shillelagh for the pin.

Rating: D+. This didn’t really work and was longer than it needed to be. Knox vs. Finlay was a feud but it was barely explained here. At least with Kane he’s naturally evil and therefore it’s easy to plug him into a story. Other than that there wasn’t much here and the match wasn’t that interesting as a result.

Knox would leave the WWE soon after this and head to TNA after a year on the independent circuit. He would appear as part of the Aces and 8’s biker stable, but wouldn’t be identified for his first few major matches. Here’s a showdown with World Champion Austin Aries at No Surrender 2012.

Austin Aries vs. Arm Breaker

This is non-title of course and Aries is in workout clothes instead of trunks. Before the match, Aries talks about this being a war which is fine with him, because Aries is the God of War. Aries calls out the big man but he won’t let the masked man in. He does the HBK laying on the top rope to sucker the Arm Breaker in. The champ pounds the guy down and hits the suicide dive.

Back inside Aries pounds away some more but gets crotched to give the Arm Breaker the advantage. The Arm Breaker keeps pounding away and takes over even more on the champ. This isn’t a match mind you as there’s no referee and the bell never rang. A clothesline spins Aries around and the Arm Breaker loads up a powerbomb but Aries throws powder in his face. A dropkick sends the Arm Breaker to the floor and Aries dives out onto him.

The Arm Breaker gets in a shot and grabs a chair, but back in the ring Aries hits him with a roll of coins and the brainbuster. Aries goes for the mask but here comes the gang. The locker room empties out and it’s a big brawl. In case you care, the fight ran just under ten minutes or so.

Knox would be one of the two members of the Aces and 8’s team at Bound For Glory 2012.

Aces and 8’s vs. Sting/Bully Ray

Sting and Ray both have facepaint. Aces and 8’s have theme music now. They bring out Joseph Park who looks a bit near death. There are two members here, one in a plaid t-shirt and another in a black one. We’ll call plaid shirt #1 and black shirt #2. This is No DQ and a brawl starts on the floor. Sting fights #1 and Ray has some issues with #2. #2 seems to be the taller of the two.

Sting gets sent into the announce table as the fans chant for Bully. Sting and Ray double team #1 and the fans want tables. The Stinger Splash hits the barricade as it has all but one time that I can ever remember. #2 and Sting start in the ring with Sting in trouble. Off to #1 who hits a clothesline for two. Park is chained to the barricade at ringside. #2 hits another clothesline for another two on Sting.

A bit boot gets another two and Ray is starting to play cheerleader. Sting makes a fast comeback and tries the Scorpion but #1 breaks it up. A suplex is countered by Sting into the Death Drop but Sting doesn’t cover for some reason. Double tag brings in #2 and Ray with Ray cleaning house. A middle rope shoulder takes #2 down and the fans are way behind Ray. Ray double clotheslines them down and a splash gets two on #1.

#1 brings in a chair but Ray hits a big boot to stop the shot. A third Aces and 8’s guy, pretty clearly Wes Brisco, comes in and hits Ray low. Park gets spat on and breaks the chain off the barricade. He comes in and destroys the third guy before beating him up the ramp. The match breaks down and #2 gets caught in a Doomsday Device. Double splashes crush #2 in the corner again and it’s Table Time with Sting playing Bubba’s role. Ray gets the table but #1 pulls Sting to the floor. Another member of Aces and 8’s comes in and spinebusts Ray through the table to give #2 the pin at 10:51.

Rating: C. Not much of a match here but the point is that Aces and 8’s won. How this makes anything any different is beyond me but this story hasn’t made much sense in the entire time it’s been running. Hopefully we’ll get some more to this tonight because if this is it, then it’s going to feel flat. The match was pretty much fine.

He would eventually be unmasked and nicknamed Knux as a play on his old name. Knux would try to get some revenge on Chris Sabin for taking Bully Ray’s World Title on Impact, September 5, 2013.

Knux vs. Chris Sabin

Ray is at ringside and is already distracting Sabin. Sabin’s headlock is easily countered by the powerful Knux so Sabin wants a test of strength. Chris suckers him in and wisely goes after the knee with some dropkicks before wrapping it around the ropes for another dropkick to the knee. Knux easily slams Sabin down and stops Sabin cold with a big boot.

Sabin is catapulted throat first into the bottom rope for two and we hit the neck crank. A belly to back suplex puts Sabin down again and a middle rope legdrop gets two for Knux. Knux misses a running crotch attack into the ropes and hurts his knee again. Sabin hits a missile dropkick so Ray sends in the hammer to Knux, only to have Sabin intercept it and knock Knux silly for the DQ at 6:00.

Rating: C-. This was somewhat better than I was expecting but the ending better be part of a bigger angle. Sabin was world champion about three weeks ago and now he’s losing to Knux? It was a decent big man vs. little man match though this was a nice surprise given what I was expecting.

We’ll wrap it up with Knux returning as a carnival owner in what is definitely a new character. From Impact on May 8, 2014.

Kazarian vs. Knux

The Menagerie is a carnival themed stable comprised of Knux, his good looking sister Rebel, two men on stilts, Crazy Steve (a clown) and the Freak (a masked muscle man). Kaz jumps Knux from behind to start but is easily thrown down. He does score with a top rope missile dropkick and a kick to the jaw but stops to yell at Crazy Steve. Kaz turns around and runs into the Freak, allowing Knux to throw him back into the ring. A Sky High powerbomb is enough for the pin on Kaz at 2:16.

Mike Knox is a guy who wasn’t much to see but he’s gotten better once he put on some muscle mass and shaved his head. He’s decent as a power enforcer and can fill in the roster of a stable well enough and that’s not the worst job in the world to have. His matches aren’t great, but he can be a decent tag or six man guy.

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World Cup of Wrestling
Date: December 7, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s another One Night Only show but at least this time there’s a fresh idea to it. See, this time instead of a tag tournament or a singles tournament, it’s an international tournament. It’s in the vein of the World X Cup if you remember that from WAY back in the day. It’s an interesting idea but I’m not sure if it’s going to be all that interesting. This is TNA so I can’t imagine it being so. Let’s get to it.

We open with the highlight reel of stuff we haven’t seen yet. The four teams are USA, United Kingdom, International and Aces and 8’s. It looks like there’s a singles guy, a tag team, an X-Division guy and a Knockout each.

JB explains the rules: There will be eight matches with the winners receiving one point apiece. The teams with the most points advance to an eight man elimination tag for the cup.

Here are the teams, in order of X-Division, Knockouts, tag team and singles.

United Kingdom – Rockstar Spud, Hannah Blossom, Rob Terry/Douglas Williams, Magnus

International – Sonjay Dutt, Lei’D Tapa, Petey Williams/Funaki, Judas Mesias (from AAA in Mexico)

USA – Kenny King, Mickie James, Bad Influence, James Storm

Aces and 8’s – Wes Brisco, ???, Doc/Knux, Mr. Anderson

The Aces and 8’s will introduce their Knockout later, even though she was already shown on the opening video. On paper the USA team should dominate this.

Video on Team UK with each member getting a mini profile. Basically it’s a British Boot Camp and British Invasion reunion.

Magnus says he’s motivated tonight and he’s standing up for what is right. Tonight, it’s right for him to go to work.

Mr. Anderson (Aces and 8’s) vs. Magnus (UK)

Anderson takes him into the corner to start and shakes his head at Magnus. The Brit shoves Anderson into another corner and slaps Anderson in the face as the match stays in first gear. They slug it out until Anderson’s cross body is caught in midair for a modified scoop brainbuster. Anderson goes up top and as Magnus comes over to stop him, gets his arm snapped over the top rope to put Magnus down.

Mr. goes after the arm and bars it on the mat for a bit. A shoulder block gets a pair of near falls on Magnus and he gets whipped hard into the corner. Off to a hammerlock into a slam down onto the arm for two. Back to the armbar as Anderson is in full control. Tazz talks about Magnus being a metrosexual for some reason as the Brit charges into a boot in the corner. A double clothesline puts both guys down but it’s Anderson up first, stomping Magnus down in the corner.

Magnus’ arm is slammed onto the apron but he comes back with a knee to the face and a clothesline with the good arm. The top rope elbow gets two but Anderson comes back with a hot shot for no cover. Mic Check is countered and Magnus hits that Michinoku Driver of his for the pin and the first point.

Rating: C. Basic match here but it was a nice win for Magnus. The arm work was a decent enough story for the match, even though it didn’t play into the ending at all. The match didn’t have much heat but at least Magnus got a clean pin, which is what a glorified jobber to the stars like Anderson is good for.

UK – 1 (3 matches remaining)

USA – 0 (4 matches remaining)

International – 0 (4 matches remaining)

Aces and 8’s – 0 (3 matches remaining)

Video on Team USA in the same style as earlier with everyone getting a quick profile.

Kenny King (USA) vs. Sonjay Dutt (International)

King takes him into the corner to start and talks a lot of trash. The fans are behind King here even though he’s a heel at the moment. You have to love good old fashioned xenophobia. King takes him down with a headlock but Dutt counters into one of his own. Off to an armbar for a bit before Dutt sends him to the floor for a big flip dive. Back in with King dropkicking Dutt off the top as Tazz talks about moving Team International’s headquarters in a joke that goes on WAY too long.

King hooks a chinlock but Dutt fights up and puts on an octopus hold of all things. It looks good but doesn’t last long as King flips him over and gets two off some right hands. Back to the chinlock from King as Tazz keeps talking about Scandinavia for some reason. Dutt jawbreaks his way out of the hold and drops King with a jumping elbow to the jaw. A tornado DDT gets two on King and a slingshot splash gets the same.

The fans chant USA as you would expect them to do as King breaks up Sliced Bread #2. King catches a cross body in a spinning Irish Curse backbreaker for two. Dutt’s throat is snapped across the top rope and a springboard kick to the face gets two. King tries a reverse AA but Dutt flips out and rolls him up for two. A standing Sliced Bread #2 looks to set up Dutt’s moonsault double stomp but King rolls away and hits a running knee to the chest for the pin.

Rating: C+. Cut two minutes or so out of this and it’s much better. This was a much more fast paced match as you would expect but it dragged a bit in the middle. The current state of the X-Division continues to make me shake my head as the title is never defended and guys like these two never make it to TV at all. Such a shame.

USA – 1 (3 matches remaining)

UK – 1 (3 matches remaining)

International – 0 (3 matches remaining)

Aces and 8’s – 0 (3 matches remaining)

Team International says they’re going to turn things around. Well Funaki says he’s #1 but you get the idea.

Hannah Blossom (UK vs. Lei’D Tapa (International)

Blossom is a normal sized girl so this is power vs. speed. Tapa shoves her around to start and drives Blossom into the corner as Tenay and Tazz have one of their TOTALLY NATURAL moments of banter. Hannah gets an awkward looking cross body for two but gets kicked in the face to get us back to the natural order of things. Tapa slams her down as Tazz gets a text from Judas Mesias, saying where the party is when Team International wins. Blossom gets caught in a chinlock but fights up with some clotheslines to no effect. A high cross body gets two for Hannah but gets caught in the fireman’s carry Stunner for the pin for Tapa.

Rating: D. This was a glorified squash which makes sense given who was in there but it doesn’t make the match any more interesting. Even worse though was the commentary as they were practically going out of their way to be annoying and unfunny. I don’t know if someone is telling them what to say but good grief I’d hope they’re not this naturally irritating.

International – 1 (2 matches remaining)

USA – 1 (3 matches remaining)

UK – 1 (2 matches remaining)

Aces and 8’s – 0 (3 matches remaining)

Tazz declares the leader board to be lazy for reasons of general stupidity.

Aces and 8’s say they’re taking over the world tonight. Their Knockout is Ivelisse from Gut Check.

Video on Aces and 8’s which is a recap of the team’s history instead of profiles.

Doc/Knux (Aces and 8’s) vs. Funaki/Petey Williams (International)

Funaki gets thrown into the corner and stomped down during the entrances to give the bikers an early advantage. Doc gets things going against Funaki and the dominance begins quickly. Funaki is dragged into the heel corner and it’s off to Knux for some clubbing forearms and more double stomping. Some right hands have no effect on Knux but Funaki keeps swinging and actually staggers Doc. The bikers easily break up the tag attempt though with Doc taking Funkai down to the mat in a leg lock.

The slow beating continues and there’s not much to talk about here. It’s the same power offense over and over again on Funaki as we’re over five minutes into this. Funaki’s sunset flip is easily blocked but Knux sits on the mat instead of Funaki’s chest. The hot tag is broken up again though as the beatdown continues. Knux puts on a front facelock and we get the unseen tag for old times’ sake. Funaki stops a charging Doc with a boot in the corner but his tornado DDT is broken up.

An enziguri is FINALLY enough for the hot tag to Williams as things speed up. Petey headscissors Knux into 619 position and dropkicks him in the back as everything breaks down. A running DDT gets two on Knux and Petey low bridges Doc to the floor. Funaki gets two on Doc off a cross body but Knux comes back in with a hammer shot to Funaki for the pin.

Rating: D. This was REALLY boring as it ran nearly fifteen minutes with about twelve of those being spent on a long Funaki heat segment. It doesn’t help that the small guys have never teamed together that I know of and are facing a regular team. Nothing to see here and WAY too long on top of that.

Aces and 8’s – 1 (2 matches remaining)

International – 1 (1 match remaining)

UK – 1 (2 matches remaining)

USA – 1 (3 matches remaining)

Video on Rockstar Spud, including an endorsement from Hogan.

Wes Brisco (Aces and 8’s) vs. Rockstar Spud (UK)

Brisco pie faces Spud to start and the far smaller guy gets right in Wes’ face. Spud is a face here despite being a heel by the time this aired. Wes easily takes him down and puts on a chinlock before hitting a hard clothesline for two. Spud comes back with a dropkick and some right hands in the corner, only to be dumped out to the floor. Back in and we hit a chinlock as Tazz calls him Rockspar Stud.

A neckbreaker gets two on Spud and it’s off to a cravate. That’s too British for Brisco so it’s back to the good old American chinlock. Spud fights out and dropkicks Brisco out to the floor to set up a big flip dive over the top. The fans are actually behind Spud as he gets two off a high cross body. Brisco just shakes it off and powerslams Spud for the pin.

Rating: C-. Basic match here but at least it was a bit shorter than the other ones we’ve sat through so far. Brisco is a guy with some talent but he was stuck paling around with Bischoff for so long. Spud is far better as a heel who annoys everyone and his in ring stuff is only ok at best.

Aces and 8’s – 2 (1 match remaining)

International – 1 (1 match remaining)

UK – 1 (1 match remaining)

USA – 1 (3 matches remaining)

Bad Influence talks about great Americans, like George Washington, Ben Franklin, Thomas Jefferson and George Jefferson. “It took a lot of strength and work for him and Weezie to move up to the east side.” Tonight they’ll cement their names in American history with other greats like Martin Luther King Jr., Abraham Lincoln and Spider-Man. Daniels even sings a little America the Beautiful. He says he’s sexually delicious like a bowl of Horny Charms and you have permission to worship them. Absolutely hilarious stuff and the fact that So Cal Val looked great in a low cut blue blouse helped quite a bit.

Bad Influence (USA) vs. British Invasion (UK)

It’s Terry and Williams for the Brits here. Bad Influence is WAY over as a face team here which is bizarre to see but fits perfectly well. Terry starts with Kaz and the smaller guy climbs the corner to escape a headlock. The power is a bit too much for Kaz so he rolls (completely unnecessary, making it all the more appropriate) to the corner for the tag to Daniels. Christopher doesn’t want him either but comes in to bounce off Terry a few times.

Williams comes in with some clotheslines and a freaky looking double arm hold (Daniels’ arms were wrapped around Williams’ legs) into a rollup for two. Back to Terry vs. Kaz as Rob cranks on the arm. Daniels and Williams quickly come back in with Chris being armbarred down like it’s nothing. Bad Influence finally cheats a bit, allowing Daniels to STO Williams down to take over.

Kaz comes in with a clothesline for two and we hit the chinlock. Daniels comes in behind the referee’s back as the dynamic of the match gets even more and more confusing. Williams tries to fight out of the corner with forearms but walks into a Daniels clothesline to put him back down. Daniels kicks away at Douglas and puts on a chinlock to slow things down. Williams comes back with a jumping elbow to the jaw for two and there’s the hot tag to Terry.

A double clothesline puts Bad Influence down and we get a double belly to back suplex of all things. That looked awesome. Terry hits a tilt-a-whirl powerslam on Kaz to set up a top rope knee drop from Williams but Daniels makes the save. A top rope European uppercut puts Kaz down but Daniels breaks up the Rolling Chaos theory. Bad Influence gets in a quick High/Low for the pin on Williams for the point.

Rating: C+. This was probably the best match of the night so far but the face/heel dynamic hurt it a lot. Bad Influence was over because of the USA idea but the Brits were wrestling as faces. It doesn’t help that Williams hasn’t been seen in forever and Terry had been a heel other than a quick face run against Robbie E which may or may not have even happened when this was taped.

USA – 2 (2 matches remaining)

Aces and 8’s – 2 (1 match remaining)

International – 1 (1 match remaining)

UK – 1 (0 matches remaining)

The Brits are officially eliminated.

Video on Mickie James, including something about her country music push as a heel.

Mickie James (USA) vs. Ivelisse (Aces and 8’s)

To say Ivelisse looks hot as the biker in leather is the understatement of the night. How in the world does she not have a job? They circle each other to start until Mickie grabs the arm and takes Ivelisse down. Ivelisse is sent into the ropes for a breather as Taz starts to sing for no apparent reason. James hooks a headlock and Ivelisse bails to the floor. Back in and Ivelisse takes Mickie down and pounds away for two.

Mickie gets choked on the ropes but escapes from a wristlock to dropkick Ivelisse down for two. James pounds away in the corner but gets sent shoulder first into the post. Ivelisse gets a VERY delayed two count and a backbreaker gets the same. The kickouts are frustrating Ivelisse so she hooks a chinlock. James fights up and scores with some clotheslines followed by a neckbreaker for two. Mickie goes up top but here are the Aces to shove her off, giving Ivelisse the easy pin.

Rating: C-. The match was nothing special but there is no reason why Ivelisse doesn’t have a job in TNA. She looks great, she has some MMA style to her and she would be a nice breath of air to a division that hasn’t had a new face in a long time. Mickie was her usual self here even though she’s gone soon.

Aces and 8’s – 3 (0 matches remaining)

USA – 2 (1 match remaining)

International – 1 (1 match remaining)

UK – 1 (0 matches remaining)

Now, to prove how little thought TNA puts into these things, here’s the Ultimate X match that determined the winner of the World X Cup from the summer of 2008.

Ultimate X: Kaz (America) vs. Volador Jr. (Mexico) vs. Naruki Doi (Japan) vs. Daivari (International)

 

This is for four points apparently, so more or less the winner wins everything, making the entire previous three rounds totally pointless. Daivari is allegedly predictable in this. Ok then. West thinks Kaz is the favorite because of his experience letting him know that he’ll know how to win earlier. YOU CLIMB UP AND GRAB THE FREAKING X! How hard is this?

 

Daivari wisely goes after Kaz’s arm. That makes the most sense here if nothing else. Oh and only Kaz is a face here. We can’t have nice foreigners! West says Kaz is close to being a world champion. Oh the comedy! Oh and also, great idea on telling us to stop watching your show so we can go get our computers to vote on something on the show later on. In other words, a stipulation for later on in the night is more important than the match you’re watching at the moment. Volador is pretty fun to watch. Kaz manages to get above the X and almost unhooks it but Daivari makes the save.

 

It worked as it’s not like Kaz had a long time up there like in a ladder match so it didn’t look completely ridiculous which is a very nice difference. Also he used his legs to get there so he kept selling the arm from earlier. In a MIND BLOWING spot, Daivari is going across a cable with his back facing the ring so he’s looking up at the ceiling. Kaz climbs up to the metal thing that holds up the cables and JUMPS off of it, crashing down with a clothesline onto Daivari and killing himself in the process. That was INCREDIBLE. It also lets Volador go up and get the X for the win and the Cup.

 

Rating: B. This was another great high impact battle that worked perfectly for what it was supposed to do. I wasn’t sure who was going to win and I was thinking it would have been Team TNA but a surprise is always good. This was your usual crazy spotfest but it worked quite well.

Now that the time filler is over, back to modern times.

James Storm likes the idea of his team depending on him and mentions Ricky Morton for some reason.

Mesias (International) vs. James Storm (USA)

This should be interesting. Mesias punches Storm into the corner to start but James comes back with right hands of his own. They head outside for more punching with Mesias being whipped into the barricade. Storm rams him into various other metal objects until they head back inside for a Mesias powerslam. A clothesline in the corner staggers Storm as we actually talk about Mesias being in TNA before.

Storm’s comeback is stopped by a pull of the hair but he grabs a quick Russian legsweep to get a breather. An atomic drop and bulldog drop Mesias and there’s the enziguri in the corner for two. Mesias hits a quick Downward Spiral for two and a clothesline gets the same. The frustration sets in for Mesias and Storm makes it worse by winning a slugout. Mesias jumps over Storm in the corner but turns into the Last Call for the pin and the spot in the elimination match for USA.

Rating: C-. Sluggish match here but there’s something awesome about winning a match with a superkick. Mesias is someone I’d like to see come back to a major American company but he seems content to just do his thing in Mexico. At least Storm gets a big win in the clutch for once.

Final standings:

USA – 3

Aces and 8’s – 3

UK – 1

International – 1

We recap the matches so far tonight.

Team USA vs. Aces and 8’s

James Storm, Kenny King, Bad Influence, Mickie James

Mr. Anderson, Wes Brisco, Doc, Knux, Ivelisse

Elimination rules and even the girls are in this one. Mickie and Ivelisse get things going but Ivelisse tags in Doc instead of fighting. Doc gets a slap instead of a kiss and it’s off to Daniels. Chris gets caught in the corner but scores with a back elbow before bringing in Kaz for some good old American double teaming. Kaz tags out to King who doesn’t do as well, getting caught in a full nelson, allowing for some shots by Anderson. Kenny gets a quick two off a clothesline before it’s back to Kaz for some forearms.

Anderson gets in a knee to the ribs and it’s off to Brisco who is taken into the American corner. I say American even though everyone in the match is American (Ivelisse is from Puerto Rico which is part of America). Bad Influence double teams Brisco in the corner and the other three partners come in for five straight splashes in the corner. Aces and 8’s just let this happen and a double suplex from Bad Influence gets a two count.

Off to King who puts Wes in a chinlock and a back elbow to the jaw for two. A jawbreaker sends Brisco to the apron but he counters a suplex into a cross body with Ivelisse holding Kenny’s leg for the pin. Daniels comes in for some hip thrusting, prompting Taz to ask why Bad Influence likes having sex with the air. Storm comes in and pounds away before it’s back to Kaz for a spinning springboard legdrop for two.

Brisco gets a knee up in the corner to stop a charging Daniels and tags in Ivelisse for some reason. Mickie pulls her in and beats on Ivelisse like she stole something. The beating continues until Mickie misses a charge into the post, only to come back with a clothesline. A top rope Thesz perss eliminates Ivelisse but Brisco comes in with a quick rollup to eliminate Mickie. Storm comes in just as fast and Backstabs Brisco for the pin.

We’re down to Storm/Bad Influence vs. Anderson/Doc/Knux and it’s Storm vs. Knux in the ring. The bikers get Storm into the corner for some triple teaming before Doc comes in and pounds away. James fights out of the corner and makes the tag off to Kaz, who catches Knux coming in with a dropkick. A slingshot DDT puts Knux down and Daniels’ BME is enough for the pin.

It’s Doc in next and the Americans speed things up with some double teaming in the corner. Kaz dropkicks Doc but can’t put him down, only to get caught by a big uppercut. Off to Anderson who puts on an armbar as a transitional move, which is a big reason why limb psychology is dying. A neckbreaker drops Kaz for two but he gets a boot up in the corner to stop a charging Anderson. Both guys hit cross bodies at the same time and we get a breather.

The double tag brings in Storm and Doc as everything breaks down. Daniels holds Anderson’s arms but Storm accidentally hits Chris in the face. That’s enough being nice for Bad Influence and they walk out, leaving Storm two on one. Anderson drops some knees into Storm’s back for two and it’s back to Doc for more powerful right hands. We hit the chinlock again but James fights up with some right hands to the ribs. The Aces try some double teaming but Storm sends them together and rolls Anderson up for the pin. Last Call takes Doc’s head off and Storm wins for the good old USA.

Rating: B-. This was good stuff and Bad Influence steals yet another match. The eliminations made sense here and made Storm look good to close things out. He’s a guy who needs that kind of a push more than anyone else so having him win again here is certainly a good thing.

Bad Influence comes out to celebrate and get beaten up as well. Dude Daniels pinned Knux. Show some gratitude already. Storm and James get the cup to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. I liked this way more than I expected to. Now of course there are some issues with it (old match, continuity being thrown out the window), but at the end of the day this is a fifteen dollar special and shouldn’t be held to the same standards as a major PPV. The idea for the show was a good one as well and felt like something of interest rather than just something they threw together. If you can ignore some of the flaws and just get into the competition and matches, you’ll have a good time with this. It’s pretty easily the best One Night Only to date.

Results

Magnus b. Mr. Anderson – Michinoku Driver

Kenny King b. Sonjay Dutt – Running knee to the chest

Lei’D Tapa b. Hannah Blossom – Fireman’s carry into a Stunner

Doc/Knux b. Funaki/Sonjay Dutt – Hammer shot to Funaki

Wes Brisco b. Rockstar Spud – Powerslam

Bad Influence b. British Invasion – High/Low to Williams

Ivelisse b. Mickie James – Pin after Wes Brisco shoved James off the top

James Storm b. Mesias – Last Call

Team USA b. Aces and 8’s – Superkick to Doc

 

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Egads we might be having an epidemic.  This is a surprise given how he’s seemed to be in a story with Anderson and Knux.  Odd indeed.