Smackdown
Date: February 11, 2022
Location: Smoothie King Center, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: Corey Graves, Michael Cole

We have less than ten days before Elimination Chamber and the only big thing on the Smackdown side is Goldberg vs. Roman Reigns. That might not sound too appealing, but that’s what the people paying for Elimination Chamber want to see. Other than that, we have the fallout from Ronda Rousey destroying Sonya Deville and choosing to face Charlotte at Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

Here is Smackdown if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Ronda Rousey picking Charlotte for Wrestlemania and also taking out Sonya Deville for a bonus.

Here is Sonya Deville, with her arm in a sling, to say she is tired of people disrespecting her. There will be consequences for the actions of people like Ronda Rousey and Naomi. Therefore, she has requested that Rousey be fined $100,000 and suspended indefinitely. Cue Adam Pearce to say Vince McMahon has responded to her request via email.

Said email says that Vince doesn’t like someone abusing their authority, so not only is the request denied, but if Sonya gets involved in Naomi vs. Charlotte, her job will be….IN SERIOUS JEOPARDY. Cue Naomi to say that Sonya can’t touch her, but Naomi can do this. A loud slap drops Sonya, who is not happy.

Here’s what’s coming tonight.

We look back at Kofi Kingston/Big E. taking out Los Lotharios in a pretty good match last week.

Big E./Kofi Kingston vs. Los Lotharios

After a quick chat in the back about how great Los Lotharios are and the Los Lotharios Kiss Cam, we’re ready to go. Big E. cranks on a headlock to Angel before Kofi comes in with a splash for two. It’s off to Angel, who takes Kofi into the corner for some crossface shots to the jaw. Humberto adds some forearms to the back but Kingston sweeps his leg out. That’s enough to set up Big E.’s apron splash and there’s the big dive to take Los Lotharios out at the same time.

We come back from a break with Angel pounding on Big E. and TAKING OFF HIS (own) PANTS. Big E. gets up and brings in Kofi as everything breaks down. A top rope double stomp/powerbomb combination gets two on Humberto with Angel making the save. Angel hits a Backstabber and sends Big E. outside for a moonsault (with his leg smacking Big E. in the head). Another moonsault press gives Humberto two on Kofi but he’s back up with Trouble in Paradise. Kofi tries a tornado DDT out of the corner but Garza slips off and stacks Kofi up for the clean pin at 10:24.

Rating: B-. Remember last week when New Day beat Los Lotharios? Well this is the same thing but the opposite, because WWE loves doing this kind of thing. The good thing is that the match worked a little better than their usual efforts, as WWE has a bad tendency to run nothing matches back in a trilogy for some weird reason. Odds are this gets a third try, as the tag division continues to spin its wheels.

The Usos jump the Viking Raiders and leave them laying.

We look back at Goldberg returning and challenging Roman Reigns for Elimination Chamber.

We get a sitdown interview with Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman. Neither of them seem overly worried about Goldberg, with Reigns saying that if he was in WCW when Goldberg had his winning streak, WCW would still be in business. After a clip of Goldberg squashing Brock Lesnar at Survivor Series 2016, Reigns laughs them off as old news. Reigns doesn’t think much of the idea that he and Goldberg were supposed to fight two years ago at Wrestlemania. He wants to slap Goldberg in the face and get him out of here again. Preach it brother.

Recap of Aliyah vs. Natalya, with Aliyah beating her three times in a row.

Aliyah vs. Natalya

Pinfall or submission only. Natalya shoulders her down to start and they dive over each other a few times. A Michinoku Driver gives Natalya two but Aliyah is back with a Thesz press. Natalya shrugs that off and puts on the Sharpshooter, sending Aliyah to the ropes. That has no impact though as there are no disqualifications, meaning Aliyah has to tap at 2:40. So Aliyah beat her and beat her and beat her and then lost. Got it.

Post match Natalya stays on her but Xia Li runs in for the save.

We get a Rock narrated video on Rocky Johnson for Black History Month.

It’s time for InZayn, but first we see Johnny Knoxville wrecking a bunch of Sami Zayn merchandise earlier today. Sami says he’s on to bigger things like getting his Intercontinental Title back, which doesn’t go over so well with the crowd. The booing doesn’t work on a podcast so Zayn promises then vegan creole recipes for later. That brings out his guests, Rick Boogs and Shinsuke Nakamura, with Sami promising to take the title last week.

Nakamura asks if Sami saw the movie, meaning Jackass Defeated, which comes out next week. Sami doesn’t think much of Boogs, who can lift all the weights he wants. Boogs reaches for the microphone….and gets electrocuted, sending him down into the corner. Nakamura goes to check on him and gets jumped by Sami, who leaves them both laying. After that live electrocution, we’re ready to move on.

We look back at Drew McIntyre taking out Madcap Moss last week.

Madcap Moss, with a black eye, says he can’t be in Happy Corbin’s corner this week.

Happy Corbin vs. Cesaro

Corbin takes him into the corner to start and starts the pounding. Deep Six cuts off the Cesaro comeback but he sends Corbin into the corner as well. That means the slide under the ropes but they fight to the floor, with Cesaro hitting a running uppercut. Back in and Cesaro hits the springboard corkscrew uppercut for two but Corbin grabs the End of Days at 3:58.

Rating: C. This was a match where they didn’t have a chance to do much and Cesaro was there to make Corbin look good. You need to keep Corbin strong for the Wrestlemania match with Drew McIntyre, because that’s what we’ll be seeing for some reason. Corbin is better without Madcap Moss, but egads I could go for something other than Corbin for McIntyre.

We go to Madcap Moss getting his eye looked at when Drew McIntyre comes in. He knows Moss’ eye is ok, which is why their match at Elimination Chamber is now Falls Count Anywhere.

Charlotte is ready to retain the Women’s Title.

We get a sitdown interview with Goldberg and Michael Cole, who Goldberg says he loves like a brother. Goldberg promises that this is a comeback that will bring back the old him. It’s two years in the making, ten years in the making or fifteen years in the making. Reigns has promised to “Goldberg Goldberg”, but Goldberg promises to make Reigns acknowledge him.

Here’s the opening segment again.

Sheamus was the honorary starter at a NASCAR race.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Naomi

Naomi is challenging and Sonya Deville can’t get involved. Charlotte runs her over to start but Naomi is back up with a whip into the corner. An enziguri sends Charlotte outside and there’s a slingshot corkscrew dive to send us to a break. Back with Naomi in trouble but managing to catch her with a high crossbody for two. The Figure Four necklock is broken up so Charlotte chops away instead. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gives Charlotte two more and she bends Naomi’s back around the post.

Back in and Naomi manages some kicks to the head, setting up a Blockbuster for two more. They head outside with Charlotte sending her into the steps for a crash as we take another break. Back again with Naomi fighting out of a chinlock and hitting another springboard spinning kick to the face. A bulldog drives Charlotte face first into the middle turnbuckle but Charlotte plants her with a powerbomb for two of her own.

The double moonsault hits raised knees though and Naomi hits the Rear View for a very close two. Naomi loads up the split legged moonsault but hits raised knees as well to give Charlotte two more. A (not great) rollup gives Naomi another near fall and she plants Charlotte with a headscissors driver. Now the split legged moonsault connects for two, as the fans are WAY into these near falls. Some forearms have Charlotte in trouble and a kick to the head staggers her again. Another Rear View misses though and the Natural Selection retains the title at 19:50.

Rating: B. This took some time to get going but they were rolling by the end, especially after the second break. They had some great near falls with Naomi getting so close to the title before falling short. One of the good things about Charlotte losing her title over and over is that there is a chance she could lose the title here and then get it back to set up the Wrestlemania title match all over again. Heck of a match here and worth a look.

Post match Sonya Deville is here to go after Naomi, with Charlotte coming back in to kick Naomi in the face. The beatdown is on until Ronda Rousey runs in for the save.

Overall Rating: B. They had some good stuff here, with the wrestling being solid for the most part, including a pretty awesome main event. The setback here was the focus on Goldberg vs. Roman Reigns, which isn’t exactly enthralling. At least they kept the Goldberg segment short, because talking really isn’t his thing. The main event really pulled this up, though the bad things kept the show from hitting that much higher level.

Results
Los Lotharios b. Kofi Kingston/Big E. – Rollup to Kingston
Natalya b. Aliyah – Sharpshooter
Happy Corbin b. Cesaro – End of Days
Charlotte b. Naomi – Natural Selection

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Smackdown
Date: January 21, 2022
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Pat McAfee, Michael Cole

We have less than two weeks to go before the Royal Rumble and that means it is time to finalize everything else for the show. That can take some effort and hopefully we will be seeing some of it tonight. Odds are a lot of the focus is going to be on Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s showdown between Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns, with Rollins having to bail from the Usos.

Here are the Usos to get things going. They are here to acknowledge Roman Reigns, who is now the longest reigning Universal Champion in history. This brings out Reigns, who takes his time getting to the ring. Reigns holds out his hand for Jimmy, who puts the microphone in his hand. After telling Nashville to acknowledge him, we get a highlight package on Reigns’ title reign, including his major title defenses and a count of his days as champion.

Before Reigns can say anything, here is Seth Rollins to interrupt (McAfee: “You son of a b****.”). Rollins says that was a nice video, but now it’s time to end the show. Reigns had to send his cousins to Raw to attack him but all Reigns had to do was give him a call because he has Rollins’ number. Instead, we need to celebrate the Usos, because they hold up Reigns’ title, “just like me and Mox did in the Shield.” Reigns: “Did John Cena write that promo for you?”

Reigns says their match will be one on one, but Rollins wants to beat the Usos tonight to guarantee that they will be gone. Jey points out that Rollins doesn’t have a partner because no one likes him….but here is Kevin Owens to take the spot. Reigns wants to raise the stakes: if Rollins and Owens lose, the Rumble title match is off and Reigns is going on vacation until Wrestlemania. Rollins says he’s on.

Here are Madcap Moss and Happy Corbin to brag about their recent success, along with saying Kofi Kingston has no friends.

Madcap Moss vs. Kofi Kingston

Happy Corbin is here too….so Kofi brings out Big E. to even things up. Moss shoulders Kingston down to start but he comes back with a middle rope spinning dropkick. Kingston gets sent outside, where he jumps off the steps to take Moss down again. Big E. takes out Corbin and we go to a break. Back with Moss hitting a spinebuster but missing a charge into the corner. A top rope hurricanrana gives Kingston two as Big E. continues to look on stoically. Moss plants him again for two more but it’s Trouble in Paradise to give Kofi the pin at 7:42.

Rating: C. I can support anything that involves Moss getting kicked in the face and at least his roll slows down a bit. Moss is someone that WWE seems to want to push at least a little bit, but he isn’t someone who needs to be dominating every match. Kingston slowing him down a big is a good thing, though I could go for less Moss and Corbin in general.

Post match Corbin, who is holding his arm, gets up to stare at Big E., who gives Moss the Big Ending.

Aliyah vs. Natalya

Rematch from last week where Aliyah won in three seconds. Summer Rae, billed as a legend and now with red hair, is watching from the front row. Aliyah rolls her up for two to start but gets suplexed for her efforts. Back up and Aliyah is sent to the apron, where she comes back with a forearm. Natalya blasts her with the discus lariat for two, followed by the over the shoulder backbreaker. With that broken up, Natalya stomps away in the corner until it’s a DQ at 2:10.

Post match the beating stays on until Xia Li remembers that she still works here and comes out for the save.

Commentary hypes up Wrestlemania, with McAfee listing off about two dozen ways to describe how great it is, even busting out a dictionary.

Los Lotharios vs. Viking Raiders

Erik slams Humberto to start and then slams Ivar onto him to make it worse. Angel comes in off a blind tag though and it’s Erik getting jumped from behind. That means Angel can TAKE OFF HIS PANTS and ti’s a double basement dropkick. The standing moonsault misses though and the hot tag brings in Ivar to clean house. Everything breaks down and Erik hits a powerbomb/World’s Strongest Slam at the same time. The Viking Experience finishes Humberto at 2:23.

We recap Naomi threatening Sonya Deville last week, causing Adam Pearce to give Naomi another Championship Contender’s match this week.

Naomi vs. Charlotte

Non-title but a Champion’s Contender’s match, which Cole describes as an opportunity at an opportunity. Hold on though because here is Sonya Deville to be referee. Charlotte uses the distraction to forearm Naomi into the corner so the stomping can ensue. The Figure Four necklock has Naomi in trouble but she fights up for a springboard kick to the face. Charlotte is fine enough to grab a Boston crab, which doesn’t go very far.

Instead Charlotte tries the Figure Four but gets kicked off into Sonya. The Rear View connects but Sonya stays on the floor instead counting. Charlotte goes after the leg and puts on the Figure Four, drawing the bell for the submission at 2:24, before she even completes the hold. McAfee: “What in the Bret Hart is going on?” I’d call it a story that has long since been made clear but we’re still hammering it in because WWE has a problem with getting to the point.

Seth Rollins and Kevin Owens are ready for the main event, with Owens saying it’s time to take out the Usos so they can’t screw Rollins over again. Rollins says the risk is worth the reward, because he beats Reigns every time.

Here is Sami Zayn for the latest episode of In-Zayn, which will be looking at self defense. Johnny Knoxville once got famous by looking at a bunch of these weapons, and that is what Sami is going to do again here. We’ll start with a stun gun designed to stop large animals, including a rhinoceros. Sami shoots himself in the leg but doesn’t go off his feet. We’ll crank it up to level two, with this one going into his heart.

That one takes him off his feet, but here is Johnny Knoxville to interrupt. He doesn’t think much of Sami mocking his career, and points out that Sami didn’t turn the stun gun on. Knoxville fixes that for him and shocks Zayn down, complete with Mountie shock stick sound effects. Sami can’t stand up so Knoxville tosses him over the top.

Eric Bischoff is in Adam Pearce’s office when Sonya Deville comes in. Pearce isn’t happy with what she has been doing, so he is going to recommend she face Naomi next week, one on one.

Video on the new WWE 2K game.

Sheamus vs. Ricochet

Ridge Holland is back and in Sheamus’ corner. Sheamus knees him down to start and grabs a chinlock, with Ricochet jawbreaking his way to freedom. The forearms to the chest put Ricochet down again, as Cole says the only title Sheamus has won everything but the Intercontinental Title. Or the 24/7 Title. Or the Universal Title. Ricochet knocks him to the floor but his suicide dive is kneed out of the air. Back in and the Brogue Kick finishes Ricochet at 3:18.

Rating: C-. Remember last week when these two had a nice match that got some time? This was almost nothing like that as Ricochet got squashed while getting in very little offense. Sheamus winning a midcard match is fine, but I’m really not sure why they needed to run this back when Sheamus beat him soundly enough last week.

Rick Boogs and Shinsuke Nakamura run into Jeff Jarrett, with Boogs knocking how to spell his name. Jeff likes Boogs’ guitar playing but asks if Boogs can spell his name. Boogs looks to have cut his hair and looks quite a bit like Robert/Rick Rude.

Usos vs. Kevin Owens/Seth Rollins

Non-title but if the Rollins/Owens win, the Usos are barred from the Royal Rumble title match. If the Usos won, the title match is off. Rollins rolls Jimmy up for two to start and Jimmy bails to the floor, where he complains of a pull of his tights. Back in and the Usos stomp Rollins down in the corner. Rollins fights up and it’s Jimmy being taken into the other corner for some alternating stomps of his own. A Jey distraction lets Jimmy crotch Rollins though and the stomping in the corner is on again.

That one doesn’t last long either as Rollins is back up with the tag to Owens so house can be cleaned. The Cannonball looks to set up the Swanton but Jey gets the knees up. Owens is sent outside and into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Owens still in trouble but managing an enziguri for a breather. The tag brings in Rollins to clean house, including a suicide dive onto both Usos.

The springboard knee to the face gets two on Jey so Rollins loads up the Buckle Bomb. That’s broken up though and the Alley Us gives Jimmy two. Everything breaks down and Owens gets caught on top, only to hit the spinning fisherman’s superplex for two. It’s back to Rollins to strike away on both Usos until a superkick takes him down. The Stunner hits Jey and Rollins superkicks Jimmy. A forearm to the back of the head hits Jimmy and the Stomp connects but here is Roman Reigns to lay Rollins out for the DQ at 15:03.

Rating: B. I’m guessing the idea is that Reigns is so confident that he can beat Rollins on his own that he doesn’t care if the Usos are there or not, but it doesn’t exactly make him look smart. It can be made better if they explain that next week, though commentary saying something about it this week might have helped a bit. It also doesn’t help that this felt like a last second way out of the Usos losing because time was up. I’ll take the lack of a pin, but explain your story a bit better than that.

Reigns storms off and Rollins smiles to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event was good but this felt like a good bit of placeholder matches which didn’t really do much for the Royal Rumble. Ricochet and Naomi lose again and we continue the epic Natalya vs. Aliyah feud. The important part of the Royal Rumble is set, though it would have been nice to build up some other participants instead of focusing on stuff like Moss and Sonya Deville. Pretty much a throwaway show here and not their best effort.

Results
Kofi Kingston b. Madcap Moss – Trouble in Paradise
Aliyah b. Natalya via DQ when Natalya attacked her in the corner
Viking Raiders b. Los Lotharios – Viking Raiders to Humberto
Charlotte b. Naomi – Figure Four
Sheamus b. Ricochet – Brogue Kick
Seth Rollins/Kevin Owens b. Usos via DQ when Roman Reigns interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: January 14, 2022
Location: CHI Health Center, Omaha, Nebraska
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

We are just over two weeks away from the royal Rumble and the big match on this side is Roman Reigns defending the Universal Title against Raw’s Seth Rollins. That is likely going to mean Brock Lesnar will be getting involved and I’m curious to see where that is going to go. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Roman Reigns and Brock Lesnar arguing over Paul Heyman, leading to Reigns dropping Lesnar with a Superman Punch. Then Seth Rollins was announced as the opponent in a bit of a weird pick.

Here are the Usos for a chat. They talk about how the only team to ever give them a real fight is the New Day, but they beat them again last week. Instead of helping Roman Reigns against Seth Rollins, we need to have a four way to consider the #1 contendership. Jimmy even handles the entrances, with a special/not so serious voice.

Los Lotharios vs. Viking Raiders vs. Cesaro/Mansoor vs. Jinder Mahal/Shanky

One fall to a finish and the Usos throw in some brief instructions, including remember that they’re the ones. The Usos fire off some superkicks but get sent to the floor so the brawl can be on. We take a break before the bell and come back joined in progress with Humberto diving into an atomic drop from Mansoor.

Cesaro comes in but Erik tags himself in to kick away at Shanky. Mansoor and Cesaro head outside for some reason but come back up to see Jinder beating on Erik in the corner. Erik fights over and brings in Ivar, who is driven into Shanky’s face in the corner. Ivar gets caught on top though and Cesaro/Mahal (weird combination) load up a double superplex. That takes too long though and Erik makes it a Tower of Doom as we take a break.

Back with Cesaro getting the hot tag to clean house, including hammering away on Humberto. Ivar tags himself back in so Cesaro takes him down for the start of a swing. Mahal breaks that up with a Khallas and it’s time for the parade of people hitting each other. Erik gets double superkicked and Los Lotharios dive onto Cesaro and Mansoor. Back in and Ivar cleans house, setting up the Viking Experience to finish Angel at 9:31.

Rating: C+. They kept this one fast enough and had everyone getting in there as fast as they could. The Raiders are the only team on Smackdown that feels like they could be a threat to the Usos so this was the best way they could have gone. If nothing else, it is almost interesting to see who they randomly throw Cesaro with on a given week, as the nothing teams just keep coming.

Post match the Usos get on the announcers’ table and shout at the Raiders, who can’t raid Samoa.

Naomi comes in to see Sonya Deville and wants to know why Deville is holding her back. Deville says when the jacket is on, she is Naomi’s boss and she doesn’t like Naomi’s attitude. Now Naomi needs to get out of here before she loses her Royal Rumble match. This is every interaction these two have had for months now. Naomi leaves so Adam Pearce comes in to talk about how cold Sonya has the temperature in here. Oh I have a bad feeling about where this is going.

We look at some of the history between Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns, mainly looking at the original Shield run.

Here is Sami Zayn to talk about how the conspiracy against him is finally going to end, but now there is a new cast member in the conspiracy: Johnny Knoxville. We see Knoxville throwing him over the top last week, with Sami saying he is going to show the world that no one can is better at being a jackass than him. After realizing that might not be the best wording, it’s time for the debut of his own stunt show: InZayn!

There is a wooden ramp set up but Sami runs to the back, only to come out in a shopping cart with two guys pushing him. He is going to use that ramp to jump the ring….but it does look kind of far. It’s so far that he changes his mind at the last second. Zayn gets in the ring but here is Rick Boogs for a distraction. Shinsuke Nakamura comes in for Kinshasa and Boogs gorilla pressed Zayn over the top and onto the crash pad.

Aliyah is ready for her singles debut and hopes she doesn’t embarrass herself. Natalya comes in to say there is no shame in embarrassing yourself against her because she has three Guinness World Records. Natalya even has the book, which Aliyah didn’t know was still a thing. The glare sends Aliyah to the ring.

Aliyah vs. Natalya

After Aliyah makes her entrance, Natalya is still in the back to talk about her records: most matches by a woman in WWE history, most pay per view matches in WWE history and most wins by a woman in WWE history. Tonight, she is going to set the record for fastest win in WWE history, breaking the mark of 3.8 seconds. Natalya stomps her down in the corner and unloads before the bell. The referee says she can’t do this but Aliyah says she can….but there is no match anyway. Actually scratch that as the bell rings and Aliyah rolls her up for the pin at 3 seconds. Why yes, that is a new WWE record for a fastest pin at 3.1 seconds.

Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville think it is getting hot in their office but the thermostat seems to be broken.

More Reigns vs. Rollins history, this time looking at Rollins turning on the Shield.

Michael Cole brings out Lita (looking rather orange) for the first time on Smackdown in nearly 20 years. Lita is glad to be home and is proud of her career. She never got to be in the Royal Rumble in her day though and now she is going to win the match and headline Wrestlemania. Cue Charlotte to interrupt, saying she will handle this interview. Charlotte says this run that Lita is on will be over, with the Wrestlemania dreams being over.

Lita has heard about Charlotte and doesn’t get the flashback Friday Tonya Harding thing. She doesn’t get how Charlotte doesn’t tip over with that giant head. The fans chant GIANT HEAD but Charlotte says she can’t hear it. Charlotte talks about beating Trish Stratus at Summerslam 2019, sending her back into retirement. Maybe Charlotte can do that to Lita too, which causes things to get physical. Lita leaves her laying with a Twist of Fate.

We look at Ricochet breaking Ridge Holland’s nose at Day One.

Sheamus is ready to get some revenge for Holland’s sake.

Ricochet vs. Sheamus

Ricochet headlock takeovers him to start but Sheamus fights up and hits a hard shoulder. Back up and Ricochet knocks him to the floor with a running shoulder of his own. Sheamus heads around the ring and sweeps the leg to drop Ricochet onto the apron. A catapult sends Ricochet face first into the bottom of the ring as we take a break.

Back with Ricochet fighting up from a double arm crank and striking away. The Brogue Kick misses and Sheamus is sent to the apron, where Ricochet gets him tied up in the ropes. A springboard moonsault hits Sheamus’ back for two but the shooting star misses. Sheamus hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and gets rather annoyed. The ten forearms to the chest rock Ricochet so Sheamus goes up, only to get sent face first into the post. A springboard sunset bomb gives Ricochet two and a regular sunset flip gets the same. Then the Brogue Kick knocks Ricochet silly for the pin at 9:57.

Rating: C+. This was getting good near the end and then finished pretty fast. I tried not to convince myself to believe that Ricochet had a chance but he managed to make it work again. He’s so easy to turn into an underdog but for some reason he is never allowed to win anything and it gets a little tiring.

We look back at Aliyah’s record setting win, which is an official record.

Sonya Deville and Adam Pearce are still complaining about the heat so Pearce goes to see maintenance. Sonya takes the jacket off so here’s Naomi to say it’s time for a fight. Pearce comes back in to say not so fast and Sonya puts the jacket back on. To calm things down, Pearce makes Naomi vs. Charlotte again for next week.

We look at Seth Rollins cashing in Money in the Bank at Wrestlemania XXXI.

Kofi Kingston vs. Madcap Moss

Before the match, Kingston reads a proclamation that King Woods is injured and out of the Royal Rumble, but Kingston will be taking his place. Cue Happy Corbin and Madcap Moss to say Corbin will be in the Rumble, which makes them as happy as they have been since they injured Drew McIntyre. We see a clip of the attack on McIntyre, before Moss makes a joke about Kingston being scared of him. Kofi laughs so hysterically that he falls to the mat before knocking Moss to the floor. The big dive connects on Corbin and Moss as we take an early break.

Back with Kingston fighting out of a chinlock but getting planted with a powerslam. Kofi fires off some clotheslines and kicks Moss in the face in the corner. Moss rolls through a high crossbody though, only to have Kofi load up the SOS. That’s countered with a rake to the face though and the Punchline finishes Kingston at 5:40. Not enough shown to rate but this was a short way to build Moss up, because the world needs more Moss.

Here are Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns for their face to face showdown. Reigns tells Omaha to acknowledge him but Rollins throws out the Shield fist. Reigns says that’s beneath him but Rollins brings up that Reigns has never beaten him in a title match. That makes Reigns laugh because while Rollins is still in the past, he is the best ever. Rollins says he was climbing the ladder while Reigns was on the bench in the Canadian Football League. Then Rollins turned on him in the Shield and Reigns STILL needed help getting to the top.

Rollins created him and he can destroy him, but Reigns says if he wanted to face a star, Rollins wouldn’t even be his pick out of his house. He would have faced Rollins’ wife, so here are the Usos to chase Rollins off. Rollins says he’ll destroy Reigns to end the show. There were some good lines here but I don’t think we need much to hype up a Rollins vs. Reigns title match.

Overall Rating: C-. I wasn’t feeling most of this one as it didn’t exactly seem like much happened. The Lita appearance was nice and they added a few people to the Rumble, but other than that it was kind of a show that came and went. Naomi vs. Sonya continues to just kind of sit there, and I’m almost scared to imagine them dragging that all the way to Wrestlemania. The good thing is they have most of the important stuff set for the pay per view, but another match or two might be a good idea. Not their best show here, as it felt like a bit of an off week.

Results
Viking Raiders b. Los Lotharios, Cesaro/Mansoor and Jinder Mahal/Shanky – Viking Experience to Humberto
Aliyah b. Natalya – Rollup
Sheamus b. Ricochet – Brogue Kick
Madcap Moss b. Kofi Kingston – Punchline

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Smackdown
Date: October 22, 2021
Location: Intrust Bank Arena, Wichita, Kansas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

We’re done with Crown Jewel and that means it is time to start getting ready for Survivor Series. The big story coming out of the show is Roman Reigns retaining the Universal Title as Paul Heyman managed to stay in the middle while still interfering in the match. That could mean more than a few things going forward so let’s get to it.

Here is Crown Jewel if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Roman Reigns retaining the Universal Title over Brock Lesnar, albeit with an assist from the Usos and a title belt shot.

Here are Reigns and Paul Heyman for a chat to get things going. Reigns isn’t happy with Heyman, as he doesn’t get why the title was thrown into the middle of the ring last night. Reigns: “Shall we work on this?” He demonstrates how to put the title in his hand and says that Heyman isn’t good as his job. We hear Reigns’ various monikers, including the greatest Universal Champion of all time (that has been a long five years). Reigns lists off all of the people he has smashed while champion, including Brock Lesnar.

Speaking of Lesnar, wasn’t he supposed to be here tonight? Reigns has Heyman pull out his phone to read Lesnar’s promise to beat up Reigns as soon as he arrives tonight. Reigns: “He’s tweeting now!” That makes Reigns laugh and he wants Lesnar out here for his second beating in a row. He faces the Titantron but no one shows up, so Reigns thinks Lesnar must be scared. Reigns makes it clear: he isn’t leaving the ring until Lesnar gets here.

We take a break and come back with Reigns and Heyman still in the ring, with the former talking about how great he is. The fans want Lesnar but Reigns says Lesnar is scared of him, just like everyone else. Reigns is ready to leave but here is Lesnar to cut him off. The fight is on with Lesnar knocking him to the floor but stopping to look at Heyman. One heck of a steps shot knocks Reigns silly and it’s time to load up the announcers’ table.

Cue the Usos for the save so Lesnar beats them up, allowing Reigns to get back up. Lesnar drives Reigns into the post and then steals a camera, which he throws at the post to break it into pieces. Someone gets sent over the announcers’ table so Adam Pearce sends out various wrestlers to calm Lesnar down but they’re beaten down as well. Cesaro, Jeff Hardy and the Viking Raiders finally calm things down, leaving Lesnar to hold up the Universal Title. Now that was a hot angle and it felt like Reigns was running scared for the first time.

Post break, and post a bunch of replays, Adam Pearce gets in the ring to say Lesnar’s actions were unacceptable. Therefore, Lesnar is suspended indefinitely. Cue Lesnar again and Pearce knows he messed up. Lesnar grabs him by the shirt and wants Pearce to say it again. Pearce, while struggling to breathe, repeats the suspension. Lesnar: “Is that right?” Lesnar hits an F5, hears his music start, and hits another F5, with Pearce’s pants being ripped in the process. That’s not enough for Lesnar, who grabs the mic and tells Pearce to say it again. Since Pearce can’t move, Lesnar hits him in the face with the microphone to some rather strong praise from the crowd.

The locker room is worried about what happened and here is Naomi to get in Sonya Deville’s face. Sonya yells at her and since Naomi is a face on the WWE roster, she calmly walks away without any rebuttal. Drew McIntyre pops in to say he’s here to make a difference so it’s open challenge time.

Here is Drew McIntyre in the ring and it is still open challenge time.

Drew McIntyre vs. Sami Zayn

Sami has a new theme and says he’s used to being forgotten around here. He is actually the longest tenured member of the Smackdown roster and he is kind of a locker room leader. McIntyre may be a former WWE Champion, but he’s a newbie around here. Sami will accept the challenge and drops to the floor at the opening bell. McIntyre follows him outside and sends Zayn into the barricade for a big crash.

We take a break and come back with Zayn hammering away in the corner but McIntyre snaps off an overhead belly to belly. Sami snaps Drew’s throat across the top rope but the Glasgow Kiss gets McIntyre out of trouble. A charge hits post to put him back in trouble though and Sami sends him into said post again. The Helluva Kick, complete with the countdown, is cut off with the Claymore to finish Zayn at 6:50.

Rating: C-. It wasn’t a great match or anything but they kept it short as they should have. I was expecting this to be bell, Claymore, bell and it was only just a little bit more than that. It was a good way to debut McIntyre on his new show and it worked out well enough. Zayn can lose over and over and talk his way right back into being fine so this worked out in a short span.

It’s time for the official coronation of King Xavier Woods, with Kofi Kingston making the presentation. Woods comes to the ring and Kofi puts the cloak onto him, allowing the fans to hit a YOU DESERVE IT chant. Woods: “ME???” The scepter is presented, and that just leaves the crown. Kingston gives Woods a huge over the top introduction and puts the crown on his head to a rather positive reception. Woods promises it will be a fair and fun reign, with Kofi reading a proclamation and waving the robe behind him. Goofy fun here and it’s great to see Woods getting the chance to do something on his own.

Becky Lynch isn’t interested in trading titles with Charlotte, so maybe she should be Becky Two Belts again.

Xia Li is coming soon.

Mansoor vs. Mustafa Ali

Rematch from Crown Jewel where Mansoor won. Ali misses a charge in the corner and walks into a backdrop. There’s a clothesline to the floor and Mansoor backdrops him from the apron to the floor. Back in and a high crossbody gives Mansoor two but Ali is back in with a Batista Bomb for two. A tiger suplex of all things drops Ali but he is back up with a sunset flip. That’s fine with Mansoor, who sits down on it for the pin at 2:37. Mansoor was certainly energetic here.

Ridge Holland isn’t surprise he made it here.

Aliyah is ready to give Smackdown a makeover.

Angel Garza and Humberto Carrillo say that winning is easy when you look this good.

Sheamus delivers nothing but bangers. These were short and to the point and a lot better than what I would have expected from introductions.

Here is Hit Row to rhyme about how great they are and now they need a big bag for all of their nice things.

Hit Row vs. Dustin Lawyer/Daniel Williams

Swerve takes Lawyer down in a hurry and hits a running elbow to the back. The backsplash gives Dolla two and it’s a Wasteland/World’s Strongest Slam to Williams and Lawyer at the same time. A side slam/running kick to the head finishes Lawyer at 1:12. Simple, to the point, get the idea over, wrap it up before you overstay your welcome. Not a thing wrong with that.

We recap Lesnar’s destruction earlier, including that of Adam Pearce.

Sonya Deville says Pearce is going to be ok eventually and she told him what would happen. For now though, we have to keep going and she’ll take care of things on her own.

Happy Corbin vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Non-title Champions Contenders match and Corbin thanks Nakamura for sending him into the downward spiral that eventually made him happy. Madcap Moss and Rick Boogs are here too as Corbin powers Nakamura into trouble to start. Nakamura is back up with some shots in the face to take over and Good Vibrations (with Boogs accompanying on guitar) makes it worse. Back up and Corbin shoves Nakamura to the apron before dropping him face first…well close enough to the apron as we take a break.

Back with Corbin hammering away on the mat until Nakamura fights up and hits a running knee. Nakamura strikes away and hits the running knee in the corner for two. End of Days is broken up but the Deep Six gives Corbin two of his own. Boogs guitars Nakamura back to life and he knees Corbin down. Kinshasa is loaded up but Moss goes after the guitar, drawing Nakamura out for the save. Corbin sends Nakamura into the steps though and End of Days finishes Nakamura at 9:38.

Rating: C. Sweet goodness I can’t stand that finish and it’s the kind of thing that WWE loves to do. Not only did they not hide how the match was going to end, but a champ takes a fall to set up a title match which could have been set up any of about a dozen other ways. That’s not how WWE likes to do things though, because why put in the work when you can be lazy instead?

Charlotte says Becky Lynch can hand over the title really easily. Just pretend it’s Charlotte’s suitcase that Becky carried for years. We aren’t even done with the first “THE ROSTERS ARE FINALIZED” show and we already have a guest star from Raw.

Here are Becky Lynch and Charlotte, in their gear, to exchange titles. Sonya Deville tells them to hand it over but Becky drops hers. They trade the titles but Charlotte issues the challenge for winner take all. Cue Sasha Banks to call Charlotte a b**** so Becky leaves, saying she’ll see one of them at Survivor Series. Sasha and Charlotte insult each other and Banks wins a quick brawl to end the show. Just like it was last year, this was hardly anything that helped the titles, but that is long past the point of mattering.

Overall Rating: C+. This felt like a new era and that appears to be what they were going for here. There were new people introduced doing new things and it made for a good way to set things off. I liked how they introduced a lot of new people and set things in motion, with a hot opening segment making it that much better. This might not have been a classic, but it was a good way to make things interesting for the future.

Results
Drew McIntyre b. Sami Zayn – Claymore
Mansoor b. Mustafa Ali – Cradle
Hit Row b. Dustin Lawler/Daniel Williams – Side slam/running kick to the head combination to Lawyer
Happy Corbin b. Shinsuke Nakamura – End of Days

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 11, 2021
Location: Chase Center, San Francisco, California
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re less than two weeks away from Crown Jewel and last week, Smackdown added a Hell in the Cell match to the card. That could mean Raw needs to add a huge match of its own, but you never can tell with these things. Hopefully this show can add a nice feeling to the Queen’s Crown Tournament, as the Smackdown matches were nearly insulting last week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Drew McIntyre, with his sword, to get things going. He thinks it’s a fun idea that the Scottish Warrior is kicking it off in the home of the Warriors and welcomes us to the show. Drew runs down the Crown Jewel card and says he’ll be winning the WWE Title in the match everyone is going to be talking about. McIntyre has a story from earlier today but here is Big E. to interrupt.

Big E. talks about the sweet nectar of being champion dripping down his chin and between his nipples. While Drew may be a specimen, he is not going to take the title from him. Drew can get to moving, or stay on the tracks and get run over. That makes Drew chuckle and he talks about how Big E. remembers what it means to win the title because it wasn’t that long ago. Drew is a two time champion who held the title for over 300 days, but he is still looking for his moment. That moment is coming at Crown Jewel and there is nothing Big E. can do about it.

Cue the Usos to say they’re hyped up for the match and that the Bloodline is in their city. They know that Roman Reigns is going to beat Brock Lesnar at Crown Jewel, but who is he facing at Survivor Series? Either way, they think that Reigns is going to take the WWE Title and add it to his trophy case. The Usos go to leave but Big E. calls them back, with the challenge being set for tonight. A double superkick drops McIntyre and Big E.

Xavier Woods and Kofi Kingston are in the back and have no comment about the idea of facing each other in the King of the Ring. Good thing they were there for that non-answer and not out there to help chase off their longtime rivals the Usos, who have titles they might want and just attacked their best friend.

King of the Ring First Round: Xavier Woods vs. Ricochet

Kofi Kingston is here with Woods and all three of them admire the crown. Feeling out process to start with neither being able to get very far. Woods knocks him to the apron and breaks up a springboard to bring Ricochet right back down. That means Woods can go up top, with Ricochet walking over for a top rope superplex and a heck of a crash to leave both guys in trouble as we take a break.

Back with Ricochet dropping Woods again and getting two off a backsplash. Woods manages to send Ricochet ribs first into the ropes though, setting up a stomp to the back and a middle rope legdrop for two. Back up and Ricochet grabs a fireman’s carry for a rolling Death Valley Driver and a kick to the face. Woods is smart enough to roll outside, only to have Ricochet hit a huge flip dive over the post to take Woods down again. Back in and Ricochet nails a suicide shoulder. Make it an attempt at a pair but this time Woods sends him into the barricade two. Back in and the rope walk elbow finishes Ricochet at 10:45.

Rating: B-. As much as I don’t like seeing Ricochet lose, I do like seeing Woods getting a chance to do his own thing. Woods has been obsessed with winning the tournament over the last few months and it makes sense to go with that. If nothing else, Woods has never gotten any singles glory so even a nice run in the tournament would be more than he usually gets.

We recap RKBro fighting with AJ Styles/Omos last week.

Riddle comes up to Randy Orton and says he has challenged Omos to a match tonight. Riddle says he was following Orton’s example from last week because he thinks of Orton as a mentor. Orton says there is no plan because fighting Omos one on one isn’t a good idea. Tonight, Riddle is on his own. Riddle thinks “no plan” is the plan and knows he’ll see Orton out there later. With Riddle gone, Orton sighs a bit.

Cedric Alexander/Shelton Benjamin vs. Mustafa Ali/Mansoor

Ali slips a bit while backflipping out of an atomic drop so it’s off to Mansoor, who kicks Alexander in the face. Everything breaks down and Alexander Michinoku Drivers Ali for the pin at 1:22.

Post match Mansoor goes to help Ali up but gets shoved back down.

We recap Shayna Baszler’s recent path of destruction, with Doudrop saving Dana Brooke’s arm last week.

Queen’s Crown Tournament First Round: Dana Brooke vs. Shayna Baszler

In case last week’s squash wasn’t enough. Brooke gets powered into the corner to start but fights back with some right hands in another corner. The Kirifuda Clutch is countered into some rollups for two on Baszler but she is back with a knee to the face for the pin at 1:25. So yeah, somehow after the complaints over the Smackdown matches not getting time, they managed to make this one even shorter.

Charlotte doesn’t care about the tournament because she only cares about herself. Tonight she is in a match with a bunch of women who can’t walk the walk, because Charlotte is the greatest ever. This was also longer than the tournament match.

Riddle vs. Omos

Before the match, Riddle talks about how he has been thinking lately, which is something he does a lot. He was the one with the idea of Brogurt, but it is clear Omos has been on the brotein. Riddle forgets what he is talking about, which probably happens to everyone at some point. Riddle: “OK RANDY NOW!” Singing Orton’s song doesn’t work either so AJ Styles says Riddle is just stalling, as everyone can see. Riddle: “RANDY! RANDY! RANDY!”

The bell rings so Riddle drops to the floor to kick away at AJ, leaving Omos to pull him back inside. A corner splash sets up the chokeslam to cover Riddle, but AJ says not so fast. AJ wants to see some of the martial arts Omos learned in second grade, so we see Omos kicking him in the head. AJ calls for two replays and then the chokebomb finishes Riddle at 2:29.

Post match Orton’s music hits but there is no Orton. AJ even turns around to see if Orton is running in and then sends Omos outside to watch. Somehow Orton gets inside anyway and hits the RKO on Styles.

We recap the opening segment.

Drew McIntyre comes up to Big E. to yell about what happened. Big E. thinks they need to get on the same page. For one night only, they’ll let bygones be bygones. Drew agrees, thinking that Roman Reigns is scared of them. Big E. talks about his nipples before we get a mock Mega Powers handshake. I have no idea why Drew waited 45 minutes to find Big E. and have this chat.

Here’s Bobby Lashley to look at a recap of his feud with Goldberg. Back in the arena, Lashley asks if fans saw Goldberg talking about ending Lashley’s life. Lashley talks about how that is a horrible thing to a father and how he is a man who defended the WWE Title for half a year. Or would you rather cheer for a guy in cutoff sleeves screaming about MURDER? Lashley talks about how the match at Crown Jewel has to be No Holds Barred because Goldberg is a bit crazy. Goldberg can’t beat him, and he certainly can’t kill the Almighty.

Bianca Belair doesn’t want to hear about Bianca Belair because she is the blueprint of greatness. Tonight she’s beating Charlotte and then winning the Smackdown Women’s Title at Crown Jewel.

Jeff Hardy vs. Austin Theory

Hardy sends him into the corner to start and scores with a middle rope ax handle. The Twisting Stunner is blocked early on and Theory hits a rolling dropkick. The armbar goes on….and it’s time for the 24/7 Title chase, because presenting a potential future star in Theory isn’t as important as a comedy title. With that waste of time out of the way, Hardy does his usual but misses the Swanton, allowing Theory to roll him up (with pants) for the pin at 2:06. That’s a huge relief after where it felt like they were going.

We recap the non-contract signing from Smackdown.

Bianca Belair remembers beating Sasha Banks at Wrestlemania and she is never forgetting what Becky Lynch did to her at Summerslam.

King of the Ring First Round: Jinder Mahal vs. Kofi Kingston

Before the match, Xavier Woods and Kofi still can’t talk about a potential match between the two of them. Veer, Shanky and Woods are here too. Mahal takes him down to start and stomps away in the corner but Kofi hurricanranas him to the floor. The middle rope trust fall drops Mahal again and we take a break.

Back with Kofi hitting the SOS but landing on the back of his own head for a scary landing. Kofi is good to continue so Mahal hits a gutbuster for two before taking Kofi up top. That’s broken up and Kofi’s top rope splash to the back gets two. Kofi loads up Trouble in Paradise but has to deal with everyone brawling outside. The top rope ax handle misses though, allowing Mahal to hit the Khallas for the pin at 9:00.

Rating: C. I can see both sides of this, as while it is annoying to have Mahal win anything, a battle between the New Day members should be something that matters. Throwing them out there on a week’s notice in a semifinal match would be a big waste so Mahal winning here was the right call. Assuming they don’t do something crazy like having Mahal advance to the finals, this was their best move.

Becky Lynch promises to leave Crown Jewel with the title.

Becky Lynch/Bianca Belair vs. Sasha Banks/Charlotte

Becky’s entrance now has a huge 3D image of herself looking over her sunglasses to send terror into your dreams. It’s a huge brawl before the bell and a bunch of referees come down to yell at everyone. Charlotte loads up the moonsault but gets broken up, with Belair tossing Banks onto the other two. Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville come out to yell as well and say the match is happening.

Back from a break and the bell rings so Charlotte and Banks can trade some standing switches. A wheelbarrow drops Banks but she kicks Charlotte in the face. Belair and Becky come in with Bianca working on the arm, but Banks doesn’t seem happy to be coming back in. Becky avoids Belair’s middle rope ax handle but Belair is right back with a suplex. Banks knocks Belair down but Charlotte tags herself in as Becky tries the Disarm-Her. Charlotte yells at Becky to get out so Banks gives Charlotte the Backstabber. Belair comes back in to clean house, including on her own partner, so the referee throws it out at 3:39.

Rating: C-. This existed for the sake of being able to say it existed, which isn’t quite what I had in mind when I saw it announced. That being said, it was looking like Charlotte was going to win a match over the three people fighting for a title next week so this could have been a lot more annoying. I’m over the partners who are about to fight each other trope, but we have another version of it for later tonight so I can’t get that annoyed yet.

Post match Belair can’t hit the KOD on Becky so Banks takes Belair down. The Manhandle Slam and Backstabber are both countered until Becky kicks Banks in the face and gets the Slam to leave her laying.

We recap the opening sequence.

The Usos are on the phone with Roman Reigns and tell him not to worry. Tonight, their job is to complete the mission.

Queen’s Crown Tournament First Round: Doudrop vs. Natalya

Natalya slaps her in the face to start but a headlock doesn’t get Natalya very far. Doudrop misses a backsplash though and gets caught in the abdominal stretch. That’s broken up as well and Doudrop misses the Cannonball. Natalya’s discus lariat gets two so she tries the Sharpshooter, which is countered into a small package to give Doudrop the pin at 3:04.

Rating: D+. It shouldn’t be a celebration when they break three minutes but that is where we are with this thing. Doudrop beating Natalya to set up the match with Shayna Baszler isn’t a bad idea, but it’s kind of sad seeing Doudrop as the dancing woman already. You knew it was coming, but it doesn’t make things that much better.

John Morrison is meditating when Nikki Ash and Rhea Ripley come up. He’s trying to get ready to expand his mind because there is a lot in there. They think that’s cool but once they leave, they admit they have no idea what he’s talking about. This is something WWE decided was worthy of time on this show.

Austin Theory photo bombs a warming up Big E.

Mustafa Ali yells at Mansoor, saying Mansoor only wants to dance and make friends. Ali has had his back but he should have told him the truth from day one: he is a loser and NOTHING. With Ali gone, Mansoor says he’ll talk to him later but Ali comes back in and jumps him from behind.

Big E./Drew McIntyre vs. Usos

Non-title. Big E. powers Jimmy into the corner without much effort to start and we get the non-New Day version of the Unicorn Stampede. Drew suplexes Jimmy for two but Big E. gets caught in the wrong corner so the Usos can make a wish. The chinlock goes on for a bit before Big E. makes the comeback. That’s broken up as well and Big E. is sent into the steps as we take a break.

Back with Big E. still in trouble but suplexing his way out of the corner. That’s enough for the hot tag to McIntyre for the house cleaning, including a spinebuster for two on Jimmy. The double superkick gets two on McIntyre but he’s right back up with the jumping neckbreaker.

The Claymore is loaded up but Big E. tags himself in (as McIntyre did last week), only to get superkicked down for two. Jey misses the Superfly Splash but counters the Big Ending as well. Drew gets knocked off the apron though and now the Big Ending connects, only to have Drew break up the pin. The fight is on and Big E. is counted out at 15:12 as the brawl continues.

Rating: C+. Better match than the tag match with a similar story and the Reigns factor looming over everything helps, but I’m so sick of this tag team deal. It’s one of WWE’s favorites and they run it so frequently, as the idea of diminishing returns continues to be lost on this company. That being said, there was good action and they went with the smart finish so it could have been much worse.

Post match the Usos jump Big E. and McIntyre and load up the announcers’ table. McIntyre (busted open) and Big E. fight back and get inside, where McIntyre hits the Claymore to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. There was some good stuff on here, but egads the bad things dragged it back down. I’m rarely a fan of setting up two shows at once, but they have already started on the main event of Survivor Series (which must be champion vs. champion, due to reasons of “well, that’s what we do”) without getting Crown Jewel out of the way first. They didn’t officially add anything to the card tonight, though I think you can pencil in Ali vs. Mansoor, as you have been able to do for a few months now.

The biggest problem here though is the Queen’s Crown. The four first round matches combined to be just over eight minutes combined, or less than any one of the men’s first round matches. There is no hiding the fact that WWE does not care about the tournament and it makes me wonder why I’m supposed to care about it either. Even if the semifinals and finals are better, and they almost have to be, WWE has sunk the thing before it can get started. It’s a shame that we waited this long for the thing and now have to see it take place under a regime that has such little interest.

There were some bright spots on the show (Ricochet vs. Woods was good, the Drew vs. Big E. build has gone as well as could be expected under the circumstances, and Theory looked like a star), but this was a rough sit as we move into one of the weaker times of the year. The show is trying to do a lot of things at once and since WWE can barely single task most of the time, multitasking is completely lost on them. Not the worst show, but a rather frustrating one in a trend that is likely to continue.

Results
Xavier Woods b. Ricochet – Rope walk elbow
Cedric Alexander/Shelton Benjamin b. Mustafa Ali/Mansoor – Michinoku Driver to Ali
Shayna Baszler b. Dana Brooke – Knee to the face
Omos b. Riddle – Chokebomb
Austin Theory b. Jeff Hardy – Rollup with jeans
Jinder Mahal b. Kofi Kingston – Khallas
Charlotte/Becky Lynch vs. Sasha Banks/Bianca Belair went to a no contest
Doudrop b. Natalya – Small package
Usos b. Big E./Drew McIntyre via countout

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Summerslam 2019
Date: August 11, 2019
Location: Scotiabank Arena, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

This is finally the end of the parade of summer shows and we’re going out with not quite a bang. The card hasn’t felt the most interesting but that has been the case for a long time now. Since two matches were added to the Kickoff Show earlier in the day, we’re up to a nine match card, which isn’t the biggest lineup in the world. I’m not sure what to expect from the results but the level of interest has some work to do. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Drew Gulak vs. Oney Lorcan

Lorcan is challenging after earning the shot on Tuesday. Gulak dropkicks him in the corner to start and works on a wristlock before being shoved into a standoff. Lorcan does what he does best and chops away in the corner, only to get slammed legs first onto the ropes for two. Back from a break with Gulak holding a chinlock but Lorcan powers out again. The running Blockbuster gives Lorcan a break and they head outside with more chops keeping Gulak in trouble.

They head back inside with Gulak slapping on the Gulock out of nowhere but Lorcan gets a boot on the rope. The Cyclone Crash is broken up and it’s a double clothesline for the double knockdown. Gulak wins a slugout and slaps Lorcan in the back of the head over and over, setting up the Gulock but Lorcan backflips into a cradle for two. Lorcan is ticked off and grabs him by the face for some shots to the jaw. Gulak gets knocked into the ropes but grabs the ring skirt, with the distraction letting him get in a right hand to Lorcan’s throat. The Cyclone Crash retains the title at 8:46.

Rating: C+. There was something positive to be said about the intensity here as these two beat each other up for a few minutes. A title change never felt likely here as Gulak can be a long term champion and Lorcan isn’t the right choice to take the title from him, despite a hard hitting effort. This would have been fine as the only Kickoff Show match but since this is a big night, we need to go three times as long.

Kickoff Show: Buddy Murphy vs. Apollo Crews

Bonus match. Murphy hits him in the jaw for two to start and it’s time to stomp away in the corner. Crews fights up for a big collision off the double crossbody and they’re both down. Crews’ enziguri sends Murphy into the corner and the standing moonsault gets two. The gorilla press is broken up and Murphy hits a Cheeky Nandos kick, setting up the running powerbomb for two of his own. Crews grabs a rollup for a breather and Murphy rolls outside. A moonsault misses and Murphy sends him into the steps….and here’s Rowan to jump Murphy for the DQ at 5:41.

Rating: C-. Crews was just a means to an end here and that’s better than having him do something of note. The Rowan interference makes sense and is probably only half of what we’ll be seeing from the big Smackdown angle tonight. Murphy getting a spot in a story is nice, but they might want to let him get a win or two so people have a reason to care about him.

Post match Rowan destroys him while demanding that Murphy keep his name out of his mouth.

Here’s Elias for a song because we haven’t done that in at least a week. This time, the song is about how he knows he’s in Toronto, mainly because local sports teams aren’t great. Cue Edge of all people and in a pretty big surprise, he hits a spear to drop Elias. That’s it, but it was a cool moment.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: IIconics vs. Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross

Cross and Bliss are defending after winning the titles on Monday. Bliss is dressed as Buzz Lightyear and Billie has a Maleficent headpiece. As Bliss points her arm laser at Peyton, Graves lists off every Toy Story reference that he can while threatening to drop his Bliss fan club card. Cross comes in to beat up Peyton, who gets in a blind tag so Billie can get in a cheap shot.

The chinlock goes on as I try to get my head around Bliss and Cross as faces, even for one night. A jawbreaker gets Cross out of trouble and it’s off to Bliss for Insult to Injury. Bliss stops to yell at Peyton and gets kicked in the face but Cross comes in to take care of Billie. Something close to a Widow’s Peak gives Peyton two, sending her into a panic. Bliss punches her in the face to calm her down and Twisted Bliss retains the titles at 6:11.

Rating: D+. This could have been on any given episode of Raw but the Toy Story references made it so much more fun. Granted me being a die hard Disney fan might have a lot to do with that but why let it get in the way of a good time? Bliss and Cross aren’t likely to stay faces beyond one night, but it’s not like anything else with these titles makes sense anyway.

The opening video talks about how these moments don’t come around often and you have to seize them. Tonight is about showing the world who we are.

We recap Natalya vs. Becky Lynch. Natalya won a title shot in a four way (which went on for nearly half an hour and was a complete disaster) and then went all evil/witchy in a rather ridiculous twist. Now it’s a submission match with one hold against another.

Raw Women’s Title: Becky Lynch vs. Natalya

Becky is defending in a submission match. Natalya has a Canadian flag for reasons of sucking up to the crowd. Becky knocks her into the corner to start and fires off kicks to the ribs as Renee channels her inner Bobby Heenan by talking about how everyone has been talking about this match. An early cross armbreaker doesn’t do much good for Becky but she shifts to a triangle.

The referee accurately says Natalya getting to the rope means nothing so they roll to the floor with Becky being driven into the barricade. Some kicks to the leg have Becky in trouble and the fans are rather pleased with Natalya. A suplex sends the leg into the rope and Becky’s kick is blocked for another snap across the rope.

Natalya gets the Sharpshooter while sitting on the top rope for a change of pace, even though I don’t think it should count since Becky is halfway outside (which is different than a rope break). That’s broken up and they head outside with Becky sending her into the announcers’ table and then the apron. Back in and Natalya hits a superplex for the double knockdown.

Becky is up first and grabs a Sharpshooter, because that’s how you get heel heat in Canada. Natalya kicks her into the corner for the break and grabs the Disarm-Her. With that not working, Natalya switches to the Sharpshooter but Becky crawls underneath the bottom rope. Back in and Becky reverses another Sharpshooter attempt into the Disarm-Her to retain at 12:25.

Rating: B. I was worried they might change the title there so it was quite the relief at the end. I’m over the stealing the Sharpshooter in Canada spot but it’s something you just have to expect. The problem now is who Becky faces next, because she’s pretty much out of competition on Raw, unless they let Bliss try to be a double champion. The match was the usual well put together Natalya performance but her lack of charisma is still staggering.

Trish Stratus is nervous and excited but she’s a Hall of Famer for a reason and thrives on pressure. The hardest part has been the waiting because she wants to prove to Charlotte that the older generation still has it. If Charlotte is the Queen, she is the Queen of Queens.

We recap Dolph Ziggler vs. Goldberg. Ziggler has decided that legends are taking too much time as of late and superkicked Shawn Michaels. This was treated as a horrible moment so Miz signed to face Ziggler….tomorrow on Raw. Ziggler signed the contract without reading it and gets to face Goldberg here instead. Goldberg not having the best reputation in Toronto back in the day is just a detail that WWE doesn’t care about.

Goldberg vs. Dolph Ziggler

Before the match, Ziggler says he’s the best thing in wrestling today and is about to prove why legends are worthless. Goldberg’s entrance is politely received at best, though the chants do start at the bell. A superkick gives Ziggler an early one and then another one but Goldberg hits the huge spear (with Ziggler doing the over the top sell that everyone was hoping for). The Jackhammer finishes Ziggler at 2:10.

Post match Ziggler says that was like getting hit by a baby and Goldberg doesn’t have the guts to fight him man to man. Goldberg comes back down and spears him again, Ziggler runs his mouth again and gets speared again.

Big E. and Xavier Woods fire Kofi Kingston up and bring him a surprise: Drake…..Maverick. Kofi isn’t amused so he turns it into his usual fired up promo.

We recap AJ Styles vs. Ricochet for the US Title. Ricochet won the title from Samoa Joe and then defended it against Styles. AJ lost, sending him to a heel turn and reunification with the OC, who helped him win the title. Tonight is Ricochet’s rematch.

During the entrances, we get the international row of announcers, complete with R-Truth and Carmella included in disguise as the…..Australian Canadians?

US Title: Ricochet vs. AJ Styles

AJ is defending and has the OC with him. Ricochet is in a full body suit, complete with gloves (I believe it’s Nightwing inspired). They start fast with Ricochet sending him outside and walking over the OC’s shoulders for a running hurricanrana. Back in and AJ gets him tied up in the corner to take over with Ricochet banging up his knee. The leg holds and twisting begin but Ricochet is back with a spinning kick to the face.

Ricochet gets to the apron for a springboard and since he’s Ricochet, uses one leg for a clothesline. The running shooting star gives Ricochet two but AJ knocks him off the apron for a baseball slide. Back in and the fireman’s carry backbreaker gets two but Ricochet manages an enziguri for two. The knee gives out again so AJ goes for the Calf Crusher, which is reversed into an Anaconda Vice of all things.

With that broken up, Ricochet manages a twisting suplex for two but has to take out the OC. That’s fine with Ricochet, who knocks AJ off the top and, after kicking Anderson away, tries a Phoenix splash to the standing Styles. That’s not the best idea though as AJ catches it in the Styles Clash to retain at 11:57 (that was a great looking finish).

Rating: B. Ricochet is a fascinating case as he does stuff that is ridiculous but makes it believable because of who he is. That spot with the one legged springboard just made me shake my head because of course he can do that. It just makes sense and that’s not something that should work, but it just kind of does. I’m sure we’ll get some kind of a gimmick rematch at Clash of Champions and that should be fine with everyone.

Post match AJ sends the OC after Ricochet, meaning this feud must continue.

The Street Profits are fired up with Dawkins taking his shot at hitting on Nikki Cross. That’s broken up by a Ric Flair appearance, with the Profits being in awe. Flair and the Profits fitting together like a glove is both bizarre and completely appropriate at the same time.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Ember Moon vs. Bayley

Bayley is defending with Moon being her handpicked opponent. Bayley takes her down to start and grabs a headlock but Ember starts in on the back. A seated bow and arrow has Bayley in trouble but Ember misses the springboard spinning crossbody. Bayley gets two each off a clothesline and superplex as they’re still going pretty slowly. Ember sends her to the apron but a charge is caught in a front facelock. The twisting Stunner rocks Ember again and the Tree of Woe elbow gets two.

Bayley goes Chicago with the Billy Goat’s Curse until Ember hits her in the knee for a break. A trip to the floor lets Ember load up the suicide dive, which is blocked with a forearm. Back in and Ember hits a super hurricanrana into a powerbomb spun into a Codebreaker (or close enough to one) for two more. Ember’s powerbomb gets another near fall but Bayley is smart enough to charge at the corner before the Eclipse. That means a super Bayley to Belly to retain at 10:04.

Rating: D+. This was just disappointing and felt like a bad Smackdown match instead of something that belonged on Summerslam. There was no reason for them to be fighting other than one challenged the other and that showed here. All of the mind games from the previous weeks were forgotten and it was just a bunch of moves back and forth with Ember showing some fire. Bayley just isn’t the most interesting champion and this showed the flaws badly.

We recap Kevin Owens vs. Shane McMahon. Shane is on another power trip and Owens is standing up for everyone who is sick of him. Tonight it’s Owens’ career vs. nothing, because Shane is smart enough to not put anything on the line.

Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens

Owens’ career is on the line. Hang on though as Shane brings out Elias as the special enforcer to ensure fairness. The chase is on early, with Elias offering a distraction for a near countout. They head outside again with Elias getting in Owens’ face again, nearly causing a DQ because Elias is an official.

Back in and Owens hits the Cannonball but another Elias distraction lets Shane strike away in the corner. The fans tell Shane that he sucks as he hits some jumping knees and a Russian legsweep for two. A DDT gets the same and Shane strikes a Bret Hart pose (Velveteen Dream did it better last night and LET’S TRY THAT SHARPSHOOTER! That’s countered into a sitout powerbomb but Elias’ latest distraction means no count.

Elias throws in the chair of temptation with Shane offering Owens a free shot. Shane slaps him but Owens still won’t bite so Shane hits Elias by mistake. A superkick into the Swanton into the frog splash but Elias pulls the referee out. Owens bumps both of them and unloads on Elias with the chair to get rid of him. Back in and the referee sees Owens nearly hit Shane with the chair but doesn’t see Owens kick Shane low. The Stunner gives Kevin the pin at 9:29.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t very good but egads it’s nice to not have to worry about Shane dominating a show or beating a former World Champion every time he’s out there. They seem to have finally figured out that the super push was a bad idea and finally pulled the plug, though you can almost guarantee a rematch, maybe even inside the Cell.

We recap the attacks on Roman Reigns, plus Rowan being named as the attacker.

We look at Rowan attacking Buddy Murphy on the Kickoff Show.

Charlotte vs. Trish Stratus

The best of this generation vs. the best of the previous generation. The fans are behind Trish of course and sing O Canada for her as Charlotte powers things into the corner to start. A way too early Stratusfaction attempt doesn’t work so Trish switches to a springboard hurricanrana instead. Charlotte goes for the leg so Trish kicks her into the corner to start some confusion.

They head outside with Trish hammering away (Fan: “I am very Stratusfied right now!”) but Charlotte sends her into the barricade to take over. Back in and we hit the chinlock, followed by Trish’s neck being bent around the rope. Charlotte tries a belly to back suplex, which is reversed into a crossbody for two.

That just ticks Charlotte off so she….adjusts her boot. Charlotte misses the moonsault and gets caught with a facebuster and some chops. Trish charges into a boot in the corner so Charlotte goes up. You don’t do that to Trish who tries the Stratusphere, which is caught in a powerbomb, which is reversed into a super hurricanrana.

Just to mess with Charlotte, Trish grabs the Figure Four and even bridges into the Figure Eight for some good humiliation. A rope is grabbed but Trish posts her and gets two off Stratusfaction. Charlotte is livid and says this is hers as they chop it out. The Chick Kick gets two but Charlotte takes her down into the Figure Four. The Figure Eight makes Trish tap at 16:41.

Rating: B. Probably the match of the night so far with the very good storytelling as Trish tried to turn back the clock but just couldn’t overcome Charlotte. They started slowly as Trish shook off the rust and eventually got back to where she could hang, but it just wasn’t enough in the end. It lived up to the hype as well as it could have and was the first match of the night that felt like it belonged on a major show.

Trish gets the hero’s sendoff, as she should.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Kofi Kingston. Kofi has finally gotten his chance at the top of the company, ten years after Orton held him down before. Orton says he sees Kofi as a fluke and is ready to take his title back. This has been the best part of the build so far because they’ve nailed the story by making you feel for Kofi having to work so hard getting here. Orton is trying and that makes him one of the better performers around.

Smackdown World Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Randy Orton

Kofi is defending. They yell at each other to start with Kofi getting fired up early on. Kofi knocks him into the corner but Orton begs off in a heelish move. A shove sends Kofi outside and Orton sends him into the announcers’ table before taking it back inside for some hair pulling on the ropes.

An uppercut puts Kofi on the floor but he dives off the steps to knock Orton down for a change. Orton is right back up with a drop onto the announcers’ table as the fans are split again. Back in and Orton slowly hammers away but a top rope superplex is broken up. That lets Kofi hit a tornado DDT and they’re both down for a bit. Kofi’s dropkick knocks Orton down but Orton does the same to the champ.

The elevated DDT is backdropped to the floor and Kofi hits the big dive. Back in and a high crossbody gives Kofi two but the second elevated DDT attempt connects. Orton takes too long to go for the RKO and has to duck Trouble in Paradise. Kofi goes up but dives into the RKO….for no cover. Instead Kofi rolls outside in front of his family so Orton glares at them. Kofi snaps and beats the fire out of him as it’s a…..it could be a DQ or a double countout actually, though either one takes place at 16:24.

Rating: B-. This was rather slow paced and it made the ending didn’t do it any favors. Next up is likely a hardcore based rematch at Clash of Champions and that should be fine. Kingston doesn’t have much high level competition so having Orton win the title would make some sense. It might not be the most thrilling, but Orton hasn’t held the thing in years and is fine for a transitional champion.

Post match Kofi unloads with a kendo stick and hits Trouble in Paradise as Graves talks about Kofi’s greatest weakness being exposed.

We recap Bray Wyatt vs. Finn Balor. Bray has been out of the ring for about a year now but has been releasing Firefly Fun House videos, showing that he now has a split personality. The evil side is called the Fiend and attacked Balor, who demanded the match. Normal Wyatt warned him against this as the Fiend is hard to control.

Bray Wyatt vs. Finn Balor

Finn is all in white and Bray…..has a lantern with a man’s head around it and the light in the mouth. Broken Out In Love is now sung by a group of women and is even creepier than before. Bray, in the Fiend mask, runs Finn over to start as we get a YOWIE WOWIE chant. A clothesline to the back of the head sets up a neck twist and there’s the release Rock Bottom. Bray looks conflicted and tries Sister Abigail but the delay lets Finn hit a Sling Blade. The comeback is on but the Coup de Grace is countered into the Mandible Claw to give Bray the win at 3:29. That was a great ending with Balor just going limp to end it.

Rating: C+. The match was a squash but the presentation was a complete home run as Wyatt felt like a monster and something other worldy ala the Undertaker the original Mankind. That’s the kind of thing you only get once in a good while and Wyatt nailed it here. Keep this up and you’ve got a special monster on your hands for a very, very long time.

Post match the lights go out and Bray laughs, before we see a closeup of the Fiend. The lights come back up and he’s gone as Balor doesn’t know what hit him.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Seth Rollins. Seth beat him for the Universal Title at Wrestlemania but then Lesnar won Money in the Bank and took the title back at Extreme Rules. Since then, Lesnar has annihilated Rollins and injured him pretty badly, but Seth is willing to fight anyway because he wants his title back.

Raw World Title: Seth Rollins vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar is defending and he gets PYRO. Brock goes straight for the taped up ribs to start and hits the shoulders in the corner. The German suplex is escaped and the Stomp gets an early two. Brock bails to the floor so Seth hits a running knee from the apron. Back in and Seth flips out of another German suplex. Two superkicks look to set up the Stomp but Brock reverses into the F5 for no cover.

Brock swings him around by the rib tape and declares it punishment time, meaning it’s time to roll some German suplexes. They head outside with Brock hitting another suplex on the floor. Rollins manages to post him a few times and a springboard knee to the head connects. The top rope version misses and Brock hits the release German suplex. Heyman looking so happy is a great bonus.

The gloves come off and a waistlock goes on for a bit. Lesnar’s charge hits the post though and Seth kicks him to the floor. Two suicide dives connects but the third is caught for a hard ram to send Rollins into the post. Lesnar can’t follow up though and Seth knocks him onto the table, setting up the huge frog splash through it for the big crash. Back in and Rollins hits a top rope splash for two more, followed by the Stomp for the same. Another Stomp gives Rollins the title back at 13:26.

Rating: B-. Well I’m rather surprised. Having no titles changing hands until the ending was a bit of a tell tale sign, but I’m certainly not going to say that this is it for Lesnar. WWE likes going with this same idea far too often and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. I’ll take Rollins as champion over Lesnar though, just for the sake of having a chance of something fresh.

Rollins celebrates, with more pyro, to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The ending helped but it was one of only a few things that felt memorable about the whole show. Charlotte vs. Trish felt like a dream match, the Fiend is one of the best debuts I can remember and then you have the title change. Other than that, it was a rather lackluster show without much in the way of memorable moments. It’s not a terrible show but it’s one that people aren’t going to remember beyond a few more days. That shouldn’t be the case for Summerslam but maybe now we can move fully into the new era, which sounds like a very good idea after a long summer.

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Summerslam 2012
Date: August 19, 2012
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s that time of the year again and I can’t say I particularly care about most of the show. The main events here are HHH vs. Lesnar in a match that has taken WAY too long to get to, Sheamus defending against Del Rio in a match we saw last month with Sheamus winning, and Cena vs. Punk vs. Big Show in a match that Show flat out does not need to be in. I’m not that fired up about this show again but hopefully they pull something off. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: US Title: Santino Marella vs. Antonio Cesaro

Antonio is challenging and has beaten Santino twice I believe in the past few weeks. Santino takes him to the mat to start and works over the arm with an armbar. Cesaro misses a charge and it’s Cobra time but Antonio knocks Santino down and kicks the Cobra to the corner.

We hit the chinlock for awhile and the idea is now that the Cobra is in the corner and Santino needs to get to it. This isn’t exactly Jake Roberts but they’re trying at least. Cesaro rips the Cobra up and Santino gets all fired up. He fires off his usual stuff but misses the headbutt. The Neutralizer is countered and Santino has another Cobra. He loads it up but Aksana’s distraction allows Cesaro to hit him in the ribs and the Neutralizer gives Cesaro the title at 5:05.

Rating: D+. This was about what it should have been, stupid sock thing aside. There was only so much you could do at this point with Santino as champion so having him lose to Cesaro here was the right move. With all these new stars they’re pushing, they have to actually give a title to someone and Cesaro is as good as anyone else. Decent opener, but it kind of deflates the crowd before a show.

The opening video is about the 25 years of this show (even though there have only been 24 editions of it and WWE still can’t count) and the main events, mainly focusing on Lesnar vs. HHH of course.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho

Ziggler has pink sunglasses to go with the shirt now. Jericho is injured coming in and word on the street is that this is his last night or next to last night so that’ll likely come into play. The idea is that Jericho can’t win the big one anymore which is an interesting way to go. Ziggler runs to start but the old man chases him down and speeds thing up. Jericho slips on what I think was supposed to be a spinning crossbody coming out of the corner but it only gets two.

Ziggler gets knocked down again but he reverses a suplex and goes for the bad legs. Dolph tries to speed things up but gets backdropped to the floor for his efforts. Jericho loads up the springboard dropkick but Ziggler moves, sending Jericho crashing into the floor. Back in and Ziggler works on the ribs as you would expect him to do. After knocking Jericho down again he uses Jericho’s arrogant cover for two. That’s awesome stuff there.

A corner splash misses and Jericho dropkicks Ziggler to the floor. Back in and Ziggler charges into a boot followed by a double ax from the middle rope from Jericho for two. The Fameasser out of nowhere gets the same for Dolph and Vickie is freaking out. The Walls are countered but Jericho hits an enziguri for two. Jericho doesn’t seem like he’s selling the ribs at all here. The sleeper goes on out of nowhere but the Canadian escapes and puts Ziggler on the top.

In a cool spot, Jericho punches him in the head ten times while standing on the top rope before snapping off a top rope rana for a very delayed two. A jumping DDT out of nowhere gets two for Ziggler and now it’s Jericho in trouble. Jericho bulldogs Ziggler down but the Lionsault hits knees. Zig Zag gets two and the fans are getting into this. Ziggler goes to pick him up but walks into a Codebreaker, sending him to the floor. Vickie grabs Jericho’s foot as he throws Ziggler back in, giving Ziggler a small package for two. There are the Walls and Ziggler taps at 13:08.

Rating: B-. The selling in this was really getting on my nerves as Jericho didn’t seem like he wanted to sell at all. Based on this, I really hope Ziggler doesn’t cash in later to erase this match because it’s happened already. The match got better near the end but it wasn’t a masterpiece or anything. If the rumors of Jericho leaving soon are true, I don’t really get the idea of him beating Ziggler clean at all.

Time for a recap of Lesnar vs. HHH, this time being from Monday with Shawn getting his arm broken.

Heyman and Lesnar are in the back and Heyman says that tonight, it’s a fight to the finish, meaning the referee shouldn’t stop the match for anything. No word on if that’s the official rule or not.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

This is based off Bryan, Kane and Punk vying for AJ’s affections a few months ago. There was a month or so off in between there so the story didn’t quite follow up that well. Bryan tries to run from the monster to start but after the moonsault out of the corner, Kane slams him down and hits the low dropkick for two. There’s a big Daniel Bryan chant just before he gets his head kicked off for two. Bryan goes after the knee and kicks Kane to the floor where he hits the suicide shove, but Bryan might have hurt his shoulder. It seems to be ok though as Bryan hits a missile dropkick for one as he comes back in.

Kane starts his comeback with some corner clotheslines and a side slam for two before going up. Bryan escapes the chokeslam but gets uppercutted right down. For no apparent reason, Bryan punches Kane in the face and gets beaten down in the corner. It’s almost a DQ but Kane lets off because he’s mellow now. A kick to the arm looks to set up the NO Lock but Kane is too big and fried and freaky. The fans start driving Bryan crazy so his top rope headbutt is caught in the chokeslam for no cover. The tombstone is countered into a small package for the pin at 8:03 despite Kane’s arm clearly being off the mat.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but when you push the idea of this being a big deal of Bryan beating Kane, it might be better if they had had move than FOUR total matches (that’s ever, including a match on Raw like 3 months ago that Bryan won. This could have been the first hour main event on any given Smackdown.

Kane chases Bryan into the back and destroys Josh Matthews for talking to him.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Rey Mysterio

Miz is defending because Rey beat him once on Smackdown ten days ago, which is all you need for an IC Title match at Summerslam. Rey is dressed as Batman for some reason. The blowup AWESOME balloons are back on the stage. Mysterio immediately grabs a rollup for two so Miz bails to the floor. AJ has tweeted that she’ll deal with Kane tomorrow night. Rey gets sent to the floor but he rolls through it to land safely. That was kind of cool.

An attempt at the sitout bulldog on the floor is countered by Miz throwing Rey into the barricade. Back in and Rey escapes a belly to back suplex into a cross body for two. Miz hits a kind of Abyss Shock Treatment for two which was a good looking move for him. Off to a cravate from the champion followed by the corner clothesline. Miz loads up his top rope ax handle but Mysterio crotches him to get a breather.

Rey heads up and hits the seated senton, only to get caught in a sitout powerbomb when he tries a rana. Rey kicks him in the head for two before countering a slam into a spinning DDT for the same. Rey ranas him off the top into the 619 but the top rope splash misses. The Finale is countered into a rollup for a very close two. And never mind as the Skull Crushing Finale retains the title for Miz at 9:13.

Rating: C. This was another decent match but it’s nothing that jumps off the page at you. Mysterio didn’t need to win the title here and Miz winning another match over a big name is certainly a good thing, but sweet goodness I did not care at all. The match came and went and most people didn’t care because there was almost no build at all. Nothing to see here although it wasn’t bad.

We’re roughly an hour into this and there’s nothing of note at all so far. It’s been the epitome of a meh show.

Eve and Teddy say nothing of note outside AJ’s office so Punk heads in to see AJ. After some exposition, Punk gets annoyed that AJ won’t respond to anything he says. He says he’ll retain the title tonight and AJ says nothing at all, nor does she move at all.

We recap Sheamus vs. Del Rio. Del Rio injured Sheamus’ arm before their match last month which Sheamus won clean. This month, Del Rio injured Sheamus’ arm before their match and then Sheamus stole his car. There’s nothing to this feud and no one seems interested at all in seeing it.

Smackdown World Title: Sheamus vs. Alberto Del Rio

Feeling out process to start with both guys going for finishers early on. Sheamus misses the Brogue Kick, allowing Del Rio to kick Sheamus to the floor. Oh and Sheamus is defending. Del Rio sends him into the steps and it’s back inside for a chinlock. A neckbreaker is countered by Alberto into some kicks to the face for two. We’re only a few minutes into this and it’s already dull.

Del Rio pounds his own chest and shouts BROGUE but charges into a double ax from the champ. A charge into the corner hits post though and Del Rio takes over for all of a second. The shoulder missile from Sheamus is broken up and a Codebreaker to the arm from the top gets two. The armbreaker goes on out of nowhere but Sheamus powers out of it into a kind of powerbomb. White Noise gets two and it’s Brogue Kick time, but Del Rio hides in the corner.

That’s fine for Sheamus as he hits the ten forearms to the chest followed by some punches in the corner. Del Rio drops Sheamus face first into the buckle and the running enziguri gets two. Ricardo comes in for no apparent reason and loses a shoe as Alberto yells at him. Sheamus blasts him with it and hits an Irish Curse for the pin at 11:21 but Alberto had his foot on the ropes. Geez we have to sit through this AGAIN next month?

Rating: D. STOP PUSHING DEL RIO BECAUSE NO ONE FREAKING CARES ABOUT HIM! I like Sheamus but my goodness no one cares about this feud and now it’s going to go on ANOTHER month because WE WILL CARE ABOUT ALBERTO WHETHER WE WANT TO OR NOT. I’m so bored of seeing these two fight when it’ll be another arm injury for Sheamus before Del Rio finally gets the title you know he has to get. The wrestling was fine and the rating is probably low but dang man, give Sheamus ANYONE else to feud with.

Some soldiers are here.

HHH told the referee earlier to only end it on a pin or submission. Let them fight apparently.

We’re looking at Tweets from Shawn throughout the night.

Tag Titles: Prime Time Players vs. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth

The Players are challenging despite losing clean to the champs on TV a few weeks ago. Truth is also injured coming in because that’s a running theme tonight. Truth and Young start things off and I guess Truth is ok after the emphasis they gave to him getting beaten down on Raw. Off to Titus who has a bit better luck, slamming Truth down and putting him in a front facelock. There’s the tag to Kofi and NO ONE reacts when he springboards in to attack O’Neal. Boom Drop hits but Young’s distraction breaks up Trouble in Paradise.

The challengers make Kofi chase them around the ring, which lets Titus clothesline Kofi down to take over. Darren puts on a chinlock followed by a powerslam for two. Titus hooks a quickly broken abdominal stretch but as he tries a spinning Rock Bottom, Kofi counters into a DDT. Off to Young vs. Truth and the fans don’t react again. Everything breaks down and Kofi dives onto Titus on the floor. Young gets two on a rollup on Truth before the Little Jimmy retains the titles at 7:07.

Rating: C. Why? Why in the world would you keep the titles on Kofi and Truth, who haven’t done jack with the belts in months. My only guess is because of AW, because clearly the Prime Time Players, a decent team in their own right, need to be punished for something their manager said. This show is getting worse and worse as it goes on and that’s not good.

We recap the events in LA before the PPV. Basically, BE A STAR!

HHH vs. Lesnar is main eventing. Is anyone really surprised by that?

We recap the triple threat match which is Cena vs. Punk vs. Show. Cena is there because Punk is tired of being overshaddowed by him and Show is there because we can’t just have Cena vs. Punk which is an interesting match and because we potentially need a fall guy for Cena to win the title without beating Punk.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. John Cena vs. Big Show

Cole gives the dreaded stats of Punk’s title reign, which are usually the kiss of death. Punk has pink trunks tonight which is a different look for him. Cole points out that Punk hasn’t main evented a PPV since December. Way to push your champion as a big deal there Cole/Vince. Then again that’s the idea of the angle but it doesn’t help much. Show takes them both down to start with his big man power offense and does the SHH chops.

Punk and Cena team up to beat on Show but he runs them over. Cole calls Punk and Cena an unlikely alliance. You know, because two guys against Big Show NEVER team up on him. The small guys finally put Show down but Punk can’t GTS him. Cena tries an AA but Punk breaks it up. Show takes over again and as you would guess, things slow back down. Cena gets knocked to the floor but Show misses a splash on Punk. The springboard clothesline is caught by Show and a slam gets no cover.

Show loads up the WMD but Cena goes after Show to break it up. Show spears Cena down for two and the small guys are down again. The Vader Bomb aimed at both only hits Cena but Punk saves the pin. Show and Cena go to the floor and the Big Bald catches Punk in mid suicide dive. He throws Punk into the ropes and heads back inside. Cena loads up his finishing sequence on Show to huge boos, only to get taken down by Punk.

Punk drops the elbow on Show for two. A kick to the head puts Show down and Punk throws on a Kofi Clutch but Show powers out again. Cena puts Show in the STF but more power escapes it for Big show. Cena’s middle rope cross body doesn’t work but the springboard clothesline from Punk puts him down. The running knee in the corner staggers Show but the bulldog is countered. Top rope Fameasser puts Show down and it’s a Koji Clutch and the STF at the same time for the tap.

Cue AJ who says restart the match. Show chokeslams both guys and gets two on both. Cena pops up and hits the AA on Show, but Punk throws him to the floor and pins Show to retain at 12:38 total.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here for the most part, but I’m glad Punk retained….I think. One thing: what in the world was the point in the restart? If you want to go with Punk stealing the pin then that’s fine, but why in the world do the whole AJ thing? Anyway, this probably leads to Cena vs. Punk in Boston at Night of Champions, which is what this show should have been. Still though, the match was just ok at best, just like every other match tonight other than the opener.

Fred Durst, Piers Morgan, Rick Rubin (music producer), David Arquette and Maria Menounos are here.

There was a WWE Film premiere last night. It’s called The Day, which is another in the long line of great titles from WWE Films.

We recap the pre-show match.

Time for the annual Summerslam concert as Kevin Rudolph performs Be A Star. I have never heard so much silence when a musician takes the stage Some Divas come out and dance with him. The announcers dance too. This just came and went.

Time for the BIG recap of Lesnar vs. HHH.

HHH vs. Brock Lesnar

Brock charges to start ala vs. Cena but HHH punches his way out of the arm. Brock gets the arm hold on and even jumps onto a standing HHH with it but HHH punches out of it again. A clothesline puts Lesnar on the floor and a jumping knee puts Lesnar down again. Lesnar gets sent to the floor for the second time and this has been almost all HHH in the first two minutes.

Lesnar gets back in and takes his gloves off. He takes HHH down with ease and blasts him in the back of the head, which is illegal in UFC. Out to the floor and Lesnar hits a hammerlock slam on the table. Back in and another hammerlock slam hurts the arm even more. Lesnar wraps the arm around the ropes as this is basically a regular match so far. The F5 is countered but Lesnar hits a big German suplex to take him down again. HHH grabs a DDT to slow Lesnar down but it’s right back to the arm hold.

That doesn’t last so it’s hammerlock slam #3 followed by HHH being sent into the steps arm first. They head to the announce table and Brock jumps off of it with a forearm to the back of the head/neck. Back in and Brock uses a freaking small package of all things for two. Lesnar clotheslines him down and the match slows down again. The Game grabs a suplex to finally get himself a breather and both guys are down.

The Pedigree is countered and HHH gets to do his fly over the corner bump. Out to the floor again and HHH sends Lesnar into the table to slow him down. Lesnar looks hurt, like legit hurt. It looks like his groin or ribs. Lesnar shouts about his stomach and things slow WAY down. Oh never mind he was apparently playing possum. If so that’s the best selling Brock has ever done.

HHH knees him in the ribs to escape the arm lock and does it again a few times for good measure. Spinebuster puts Lesnar down but the Pedigree is countered into an also countered F5. Pedigree hits on the second attempt but it only gets two. Lesnar hits HHH low but Armstrong (referee) won’t call the DQ as per HHH’s orders.

The F5 hits but only gets two, which only shocks about half the audience. The kimura (arm lock) finally goes on in full but HHH makes the rope….which means nothing here. HHH pounds out of the hold because that’s how tough he is or something. Out of nowhere HHH hits a second Pedigree but Lesnar no sells into the kimura. Lesnar cranks on it and HHH taps at 18:45.

Rating: B. Well, it’s safe to say they’ve lost the point of Lesnar already. This was a standard WWE main event style match with HHH getting in more offense in about 80 seconds than Cena got in through his entire 20+ minute match with Lesnar. Brock trying the arm hold about 10 times before getting it in good doesn’t make him look awesome or anything. It makes him look like someone with one move and no game plan at all aside from that. The match was good but when you go from Cena and Lesnar having a potential match of the year to this, it’s a pretty big letdown.

HHH gets to do the whole big “I don’t need medical help” stand up and walk out but the fans tell him he tapped out. They play it up like it’s his last match. Right.

Overall Rating: D+. This show wasn’t bad. It was the thing that’s far worse than bad: it was dull. The matches were all fine, but at the end of the day, pretty much nothing happened here. The only title change was on the preshow and it looks like we’re gearing up for more Sheamus vs. Del Rio next month, which is boring me to tears. Cena vs. Punk will be awesome but it could have been awesome here. The show wasn’t bad, but it was underwhelming. It’s a weak ending to a pretty good summer for WWE.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Summerslam 2011
Date: August 14, 2011
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17.404
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

This year has been all about the rise of CM Punk. In June he sat on the stage and ripped into John Cena and the WWE in general, leading up to the world title match at Money in the Bank in Chicago. Punk won the title in a masterpiece and then left the company as champion. Cena won the title from Rey Mysterio on Raw, but Punk came back with his title. Tonight it’s champion vs. champion for the undisputed title. Oh and Christian vs. Orton in the blowoff to the underrated feud of the year. Let’s get to it.

Adam Jones, some guitarist from Tool, plays the Star Spangled Banner. WE WANT MAN MOUNTAIN ROCK!

The opening video is about how Summerslam being where dreams are made. We shift to a shot of dominoes falling over. Punk talks about being the first domino being knocked over and starting a revolution. HHH is guest referee tonight because what would a major match be without him?

The theme song this year is Bright Lights Bigger City by Cee Lo Green. I usually don’t care for him but it fits the show well.

The Miz/Alberto Del Rio/R-Truth vs. Kofi Kingston/John Morrison/Rey Mysterio

Cole IMMEDIATELY freaks out over Miz being on Summerslam. Miz keeps talking about how awesome he is until Truth cuts him off. This was when Truth was insane so he complains about things that start with the letter S, like spiders, Summerslam, Cee Loo Green and Conspiracy. Del Rio is the Raw MITB winner. The fans are WAY into Del Rio here for some reason. Mysterio gets a title shot at Punk or Cena tomorrow on Raw. Miz and Kofi get things going and the fans are actually behind Miz as well. Kofi hits a nice monkey flip followed by a dropkick before bringing in Morrison.

A double clothesline puts Miz down and the good guys do stereo nipups in a nice visual. Off to Truth who is tackled by Morrison but comes back with right hands to the face. Truth sends Morrison to the floor as the announcers talk about wigs. Thankfully Booker is there to get us back to the action by shouting BACK TO THE ACTION! Miz comes in with a kick to the head and puts on a chinlock, only to have Morrison kick him in the head to escape.

Kofi comes flying in off the hot tag and cleans house with his barrage of high flying offense including a cross body to Miz for two. The Boom Drop gets two and everything breaks down. Kofi gets two off the SOS but Del Rio breaks up the pin. Miz hits a kind of Diamond Cutter face plant for two and it’s Kofi in trouble from the boots of R-Truth. Del Rio comes in with a belly to back suplex and mocks Kofi’s Trouble in Paradise hand slap.

Kofi kicks him away but Miz breaks up a hot tag bid. Cole lists off Miz’s high school accomplishments as Kofi flips out of a sunset flip and stomps on Miz’s ribs to put him down. Hot tag brings in Rey to face Truth who does his usual backflip/splits sequence, only to have Rey kick him in the head. Del Rio breaks up a double 619 so only Truth takes the kick. Kofi dives on Miz and Rey hits a top rope splash on Truth for the pin.

Rating: B-. Take six guys, give them ten minutes and let them have fun. It’s an idea as old as time and it’s still used to this day because it still works. The good guys can fire up any crowd with their high spots and the fans were into the match as a result. As mentioned earlier, Summerslam is great at having good openers and this was no exception.

Johnny Ace wants an apology from Punk over a kick to the head on Monday. Punk gives an over the top apology and Ace walks away. Punk turns around to see Stephanie who wishes him good luck. He makes fun of Vince and she wishes both Cena and Punk good luck. “But I’m just Vince’s clueless daughter right?” Punk: “Yeah pretty much.” She offers him a handshake but he knows where it’s been.

We recap Sheamus vs. Mark Henry. Henry is just starting the Hall of Pain run and has been destroying everyone in sight and breaking a lot of limbs. He stood tall in the ring until Sheamus came out and said three simple words: I’ll fight him. It turned Sheamus face and made him very popular due to the simple idea of standing up to a bully. THIS is how you book Sheamus: have him in there against some monster and taking a good fight to him, not slumming it with Damien Sandow and winning each match with ease.

Mark Henry vs. Sheamus

Henry takes him down with a clothesline to start but Sheamus comes right back with right hands. The pale one pounds away and actually knocks Henry down to his knees, only to be thrown to the floor. Henry EASILY throws Sheamus through the ropes and hits a splash for two. A running crotch attack crushes Sheamus’ neck but he’s in the ropes before the count starts.

A backbreaker puts Sheamus down and it’s off to an Argentinean backbreaker to complete the set. Sheamus powers out, only to be sent chest first into the corner. Henry misses a Vader Bomb though and Sheamus has a breather. A series of ax handles to the chest and head put Henry down followed by the forearms in the ropes. They clothesline each other down and we get a breather.

Back up and Mark runs into a boot in the corner, allowing Sheamus to go up for the top rope shoulder, good for two. The Brogue Kick misses though and a clothesline puts Sheamus down. Sheamus slips out of the World’s Strongest Slam and there’s the Brogue Kick to knock Henry to the outside. Sheamus follows him to the floor but Henry drives him into the post and through the barricade in a great crash, allowing Mark to beat the count for a countout win.

Rating: C+. This was another simple formula: take two big power brawlers and let them beat the tar out of each other for nearly the minutes. It’s also a smart ending as Sheamus gets to stay strong but Henry gets another win. Sheamus would get a countout win I believe at the next PPV so it evened out. Good, fun brawl here.

World Heavyweight Champion Christian says his match with Orton will be an epic summer blockbuster. He’ll be like Harry Potter, making magic at every turn. Orton will be like Cowboys and Aliens: a flashy flop. That movie was good though.

Trailer for Killer Elite which is probably sponsoring the show or something.

Here’s Cee Lo Green for the mini concert. He looks like he’s in big sparkly pajamas but the song isn’t bad so I’m not complaining much. The fans aren’t moving at all for this but the vocals are pretty bad so I can barely hear a word he’s saying. Now he throws in his bigger hit Forget You, complete with Divas in red dancing behind him.

Now here’s a Slim Jim ad. I’m sure the fans are LOVING this stuff.

Now a 7-11 commercial. My goodness get to something else.

Divas Title: Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix

I could go for a Slurpee. Back to 7-11 it is! Kelly is defending. Beth and Natalya are the Divas of Doom here and don’t like the Barbies like Eve and Kelly. Kelly and those AWESOME little shorts of hers go after Beth and we get the screaming headscissors. Beth is knocked off the apron and Kelly dives off the middle rope to knock her to the floor. Back in and Kelly flips out of the corner and Beth clotheslines her down.

Kelly gets dropped throat first on the top rope for two Eve plays cheerleader. This is a lot of standing around with Beth glaring down at Kelly before hitting a running Umaga shot in the corner. We hit the chinlock followed by the second over the shoulder backbreaker of the night. Kelly finally slips out and hits a quick neckbreaker to put both of them down.

Beth sends her into the Tree of Woe for no follow up before getting two off a side slam. Kelly gets in a knee to the face and goes nuts on Beth, only to have the handspring elbow countered. The Glam Slam is countered into a victory roll for the pin, just like every time Kelly beat Phoenix.

Rating: D+. All things considered, this was something resembling a miracle. The match was nothing of note but Kelly actually didn’t embarrass herself out there. She got WAY better over the years, but at the end of the day she was out there because of how good she looked in those tiny shorts. It also says a lot that less than two years later only Natalya is left from this match.

Stephanie leaves Cena’s locker room for some reason.

Truth and….Jimmy Hart of all people talk about a c-o-n-spiarcy. Jimmy offers to manage him and Truth seems interested before he realizes that Hart is…..LITTLE JIMMY! Truth looks over to see Ron Artest (Metta World Peace) and his daughter in a worthless cameo.

BUY TWIX!

Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan

I like Barret’s End of Days theme a lot better than the God Save the Queen one now. This is MITB fallout as Bryan knocked Barrett off to win the case. Bryan has some slow music which isn’t all that bad, but soon he would go to Flight of the Valkyries which works far better for him. Bryan is rocking the white trunks with red trim here which are pretty awesome. Feeling out process to start with Barrett punching Bryan down to stop the wrestling part of the match.

Daniel takes it to the mat and spins out of a wristlock before dropkicking Wade down. Cole says Barrett is a submission master as Bryan does the AJ Styles drop down into a dropkick, right down to the same overblown drop down. Back up and Bryan hooks a dragon screw leg whip and a running dropkick in the corner for two. Another kick to the chest gets two and Bryan backflips over Barrett, only to charge into the Winds of Change for two. A slingshot belly to back backbreaker gets two for Wade and we hit a reverse chinlock.

Back up and Bryan hits a running clothesline but Wade comes back with a big running forearm to the face. Wade puts Bryan in the ropes and kicks him out to the floor before hooking a chinlock. The hold doesn’t last long again but Bryan ducks a boot and crotches Barrett on the top. A dropkick puts him on the floor and there’s the flying knee off the apron. Back in again and the missile dropkick gets a close two for the American.

Bryan escapes a pumphandle slam and fires off more kicks to the chest for two. Wade ducks a clothesline and hits a big boot to the face for two but Wasteland is countered into the guillotine choke. Barrett goes down and there’s the LeBell Lock but Wade gets into the ropes for the break. Daniel loads up a superplex but Barrett crotches him on the top rope. A middle rope clothesline takes Bryan off the ropes and Wasteland is good for the 100% clean pin.

Rating: B+. I REALLY liked this for one reason: it was a good wrestling match. It’s a basic story of one guy wanting revenge for a loss in a big match, it had a good story in the ring with a striker against a technical guy and the action was good. Wade Barrett is a guy who can go in the ring but he’s the ultimate jobber to the stars and I have no idea why when he can do this.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Christian. Christian won the title at Extreme Rules but Orton came over to Smackdown to replace Edge as the top guy. Orton won the title on his first night on the show, ending Christian’s title reign in less than a week. Christian wanted one more match, turning heel in the process.

Orton beat him again, but Christian some how got one more match and if Orton got disqualified, he would lose the title. For once, that actually worked and Christian won the title. Tonight, it’s the final match with no holds barred. These matches kept getting better and better and if Punk vs. Cena hadn’t happened it would have run away with feud of the year.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Randy Orton

Before the match, Christian brings out Edge to be in his corner to a HUGE ovation. After a full entrance, Edge says that he’ll never be cleared to wrestle again. When he first left, that made him happy because he was able to pass the torch to Christian. Edge didn’t think it was fair that Christian had to defend the title five days after a ladder match and Christian complained too.

Then he complained more and more and more and more. Then he wanted rematch after rematch and FINALLY he won the title back…..but he did it by disqualification. Yeah Edge did some bad things, but he did it with style. He didn’t hide behind lawyers and clipboards. Somewhere along the line Christian became a parody of himself. Edge didn’t know Christian would ever be like this, and that’s not good. Edge drops the mic, walks out, Christian freaks, and here’s Randy.

Remember this is no holds barred. Orton takes him into the corner and stomps him down before hitting a quick clothesline. Christian rakes the eyes and gets a quick one count off a middle rope elbow to the face. A backdrop puts Christian down and Randy stomps away but the champion chokes away on the ropes. Orton loads up the Elevated DDT but gets backdropped to the floor. Really back and forth so far.

Orton sends him head first into the barricade and loads up the announce table. The RKO is blocked and Christian grabs the belt before sprinting into the crowd. Randy catches up with him and stomps Christian down onto the concrete before heading back to ringside. Back in and Orton rains down right hands in the corner. Christian avoids a charge and sends Orton’s famously bad shoulder into the post to take over. The champion brings in a kendo stick to choke away before getting two off a back elbow.

Christian busts out a spinebuster for two and goes to the middle rope, only to be dropkicked out of the air. The powerslam puts Christian down again and now Randy gets the kendo stick. Instead of swinging though he catches Christian’s dropkick into a jackknife cover for two followed by the Thesz Press. Christian escapes the Elevated DDT into a Killswitch attempt but Orton counters into the backbreaker for two. The idea of this feud was that they knew each other so well and they would add another move to the string of counters every match. It was awesome.

Orton can’t hit the Punt but has to send Christian face first into the post to avoid getting crotched against the steel. Randy pulls out a pair of tables and slides one into the ring, only to have Christian drive him into the apron. Christian sets up the other table on the floor and they head inside where Orton superplexes him onto (not through as the table hasn’t been set up yet) the table for two. The table is set up in the corner but Christian counters the whip into the reverse DDT for no cover. Instead he loads up the spear but Orton jumps over and tries the RKO, only to be sent over the top and out to the floor.

Christian goes after him but is sent knees first into the steps to put him down again. Orton takes forever to set up the steps but gets sent face first into the steel again. Christian loads up the other announce table and blasts Orton in the head with the announce table. The champion tries an RKO through the table but gets caught in the real thing to destroy the table instead. Back in and Christian hits a quick Killswitch for two and Christian is furious.

The champion brings in a pair of chairs for the Conchairto but spits on Orton, causing Randy to move away. Now it’s Randy with the chair, cracking it over Christian’s back and knocking him off the apron through the table. Orton throws in some steps and trashcans before catching a charging Christian in a powerslam through the table in the corner.

Some HARD kendo stick shots to the back have Christian in even more trouble and the Elevated DDT crushes a trashcan. Christian tries one more rush but his sunset flip out of the corner is countered into the RKO (same move that gave Orton the title in the first place) onto the steps for the pin and the title.

Rating: A-. Much like the Undertaker vs. Edge Cell match a few years earlier, this was the perfect way to blow off a feud with Orton being the definitive winner. This feud did a great job of building upon itself with the extended sequences carrying over from match to match and building a deep psychology. Great match here and the whole feud is worth checking out.

Video on Axxess.

We recap Punk vs. Cena. As mentioned, Punk left with the title at Money in the Bank so there was a tournament held to crown a new champion. Mysterio won but lost the title to Cena the same night. Punk came out and held up his own belt, meaning we had two champions. This all happened in two weeks when it could have went on for months. The entire match is summed up with one idea: Cena doesn’t know if he can beat Punk. HHH is the new boss and is the guest referee tonight for no reason anyone not named HHH can figure out.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk

Punk has more or less been turned face by the will of the crowd alone. Feeling out process to start with Punk grabbing a headlock and SHOUTING spots into Cena’s ear. Cena easily takes him down to the mat and slaps on a headlock. That gets him nowhere so Punk gets up and we have a quick staredown. Cena grabs a single leg and slaps on an armbar followed by a chinlock. Back up and Punk hits a quick leg lariat before hooking a chinlock of his own with a bodyscissors.

Cena powers out and hooks a quick fisherman’s suplex before hooking another chinlock. The fans chant Fruity Pebbles and WE WANT ICE CREAM as Punk gets up a quick big boot to the jaw. HHH hasn’t been a factor so far. A few knees to the ribs and a headbutt to the shoulder set up another bodyscissors from Punk as we’re barely in second gear nearly eight minutes into the match. Cena escapes again and they fight over a suplex off the apron. Neither guy can go anywhere so Punk kicks Cena in the head to knock him outside.

Back in again and Punk cranks on a neck lock but Cena stands up and suplexes out of it. Cena tries to speed things up but the shoulder block is caught by a knee to the head for two. The running knee in the corner misses and now Cena can initiate the finishing sequence, only to have Punk hit a knee to break up the Shuffle. CM tries a kick but gets caught in the STF, only to get to the ropes and counter the ProtoBomb into a downward spiral and a Koji Clutch.

Cena rolls out and puts on the STF but Punk slips in an arm to block most of the pressure before countering into the Anaconda Vice. Cena rolls out of THAT and tries the STF again but Punk crawls out before it goes on full. AWESOME sequence there as the gear has shifted hard. Punk backdrops him to the floor and hits the suicide dive but he bumps his own head in the process. HHH starts counting and gets to nine before going to the floor and throwing both guys back inside.

They slug it out back in the ring but Cena can’t hit the AA. Instead he busts out a GREAT dropkick and hits the Shuffle. The AA is countered again into a sunset flip for two followed by the high kick for two more. Cena escapes the GTS and hits a corner splash (?!?) and a sitout powerslam (that’s more like it) for two. The top rope Fameasser doesn’t get to launch as Punk hits the running knee to the head and the bulldog off the top for two.

Punk loads up another springboard but gets caught in the STF to put him in real trouble. He finally gets to the rope and pops up for a GTS attempt, only to be countered into the AA for a close two. The top rope Fameasser misses again and Punk grabs a quick GTS for two more. HHH still hasn’t been a major factor other than throwing both guys in. The Macho Elbow gets two and Cena goes into straight brawling mode but gets caught by another knee to the chin. GTS #2 connects and the three goes down but Cena’s foot was on the ropes before two.

Rating: B+. The match is good with that sequence in the middle being a big highlight but there’s one major problem for this match: it’s the sequel to Money in the Bank. That’s doomed so many matches over the years and while it didn’t sink this one, it certainly slowed it down a lot. Still though, good stuff here and definitely worthy of a major PPV main event.

Punk takes a victory lap around the ring but won’t shake HHH’s hand. The Game doesn’t seem too mad about it and raises Punk’s hand as the winner. HHH leaves, CM Punk poses, and KEVIN NASH comes in through the crowd and lays out Punk with a Jackknife. Cue Alberto Del Rio, briefcase in hand.

Raw World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk

Kick to the head, Del Rio wins the title to end the show. This would turn into one of the stupidest and most ridiculous stories ever with Nash showing a text asking him to lay out Punk but it turned out he sent it to himself for one more moment in the limelight after a big fan reaction at the Royal Rumble. The end result of all this: HHH beating Nash and Punk.

Overall Rating: A. This is a GREAT show with some awesome matches and some great drama at the end. Now to be fair no one knew what the drama would lead to, but it blew my mind when I watched it at first. The rest of the show is awesome though with the worst match being the Divas. If the biggest torture I have to go through all night is looking at Kelly in those shorts and Eve looking gorgeous all dressed up, so be it. Great show here and well worth seeing.

Ratings Comparison

Kofi Kingston/John Morrison/Rey Mysterio vs. Alberto Del Rio/The Miz/R-Truth

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

Original: C

Redo: C+

Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: B

Redo: B+

Randy Orton vs. Christian

Original: B+

Redo: A-

CM Punk vs. John Cena

Original: A+

Redo: B+

CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: A+

Redo: A

Ok the main event isn’t THAT good. I think we’re firmly at the point where my ratings are about the same for most matches.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/14/summerslam-2011-that-was-i-need-a-cigarette/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Summerslam 2011
Date: August 14, 2011
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

It’s the biggest party of the summer. Wait that was another ad campaign. It’s Summerfest! No wait that’s a Piven botch. It’s Punk vs. Cena II. Well actually more like their 8^th match but the second PPV main event. Seriously that’s the extent of the hype for this show. There’s also Christian vs. Orton V or whatever but that’s really minor by comparison. There’s also a mini concert because those have worked oh so well before right? Let’s get to it.

The guitarist from Tool plays a rock version of the Star Spangled Banner. He’s no Man Mountain Rock.

The opening video is about how we’re in LA and LA is awesome. This is like the 4^th year in a row it’s been in LA. Might be three but still that’s a ton. There’s another video about how there’s a domino effect in the Punk vs. Cena war. That Bright Lights Bigger City song is growing on me a bit.

Here’s Miz to open the show and he’ll be in a six man tag. He first has something to say. Why am I not surprised? He says he’s returned to Summerslam and wants to thank the fans for insisting he competes tonight. Miz is cut off by Truth who talks about spiders. They start with the letter S, as does Summerslam. Singing also starts with an S and Cee Lo Green is singing tonight. You know what else starts with a C? CONSPIRACY!!! Del Rio cuts him off to save our sanity.

The Miz/Alberto Del Rio/R-Truth vs. Kofi Kingston/Rey Mysterio/John Morrison

Well they had to fill in the card with something. Del Rio gets a face reaction from the Hispanic heavy crowd. Kofi has white shorts now. Morrison, the hometown boy, gets NOTHING. We get a recap of Rey getting jumped by Miz on Monday. The rest of the feuds I think you know. The bell rings almost 15 minutes into the show. Miz vs. Kofi to start us off. There’s a Miz is Awesome chant.

Big monkey flip and a dropkick put Miz down. Off to Morrison and we get double flapjacks/double nipups. Nice fast paced stuff to start so far. Off to Truth vs. Morrison and Truth isn’t afraid anymore. There’s the springboard spin kick (Moonlight Drive I think? It’s the same one Cody uses for the most part) but it only gets two. The heels cheat (EVIL!) and send Morrison to the floor to shift momentum.

Off to Miz who hooks a chinlock which eats up some time. Morrison fights out of it with something resembling a Pele kick (ala AJ) and it’s warm tag Kofi. That cross body is SWEET. Miz takes him down and every heel not named Alberto works him over. Time for Kofi to imitate a long haired blonde guy from the 80s who thought he could sing named Morton for a good while.

We’re just waiting on the hot tag to Rey at this point. And yep there it is. The seated kick to Truth gets two. 619 is broken up and a second is as well. Rey makes up for that by hitting one to Truth and Miz at the same time. Everything breaks down and the faces all start diving like a broke boxer in Vegas. The ring is cleared and Rey hits the top rope splash on Truth for the pin at 9:30.

Rating: B-. Solid opener here which was very fast paced. That’s exactly what the opening match is supposed to be. You had to get a bunch of these guys on the show somehow and this is as good a way as any. I like these random tag matches because you combine feuds and manage to get a fun match too. Not everything needs to have some epic backstory to it to be a good match and this is proof of it. Good stuff.

Johnny Ace demands a public apology from Punk for getting kicked in the head. Well Ace is certainly annoying already so he’s doing his job. Punk mockingly apologizes and Ace leaves. Punk turns around and there’s the still hot Stephanie. She says HHH, Cena and Vince have all wished him good luck. He kind of says she’s brainless and she offers him a handshake anyway. “I would but I know where that hand has been.”

Recap of Henry vs. Sheamus which is basically about Sheamus being the only guy willing to fight Henry. That’s still a cool moment.

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

I can’t imagine this going long. Sheamus gets in a few shots early on but then the beating begins. Henry hammers on Sheamus and we head to the floor where Henry gorilla presses Sheamus into the ring through the top and middle ropes. That was kind of awesome. Splash gets two. There’s a backbreaker and now an over the shoulder body vice.

The pale one fights out of it and manages to take Henry down for a moment. Emphasis on the moment aspect though as Henry takes him down again. The Vader Bomb misses though and Sheamus starts his comeback. A flying axehandle puts him on the mat and Sheamus starts dropping some knees. He fires off the forearms to the chest when Henry is caught in the ropes.

Sheamus hits the ropes and they collide, sending both guys down for a few seconds. The Irishman hits a top rope shoulder block for two. The cord is of course hot here because it’s LA and it’s a wrestling town. Sheamus pounds his chest but the Brogue Kick misses. Henry tries the World’s Strongest Slam but Sheamus counters and the Brogue Kick sends Henry to the floor. He’s out cold and dead weight now. Naturally since Sheamus is a face now he goes after him and is rammed back first into the post and then through the barricade which explodes. It’s a countout win by Henry at 9:20.

Rating: C. Well it’s Sheamus vs. Mark Henry. What were you expecting here other than power vs. power? This could probably lead to a gimmick match down the line which I wouldn’t be opposed to seeing. They backed themselves into a corner with the booking here though and it was pretty obvious that they weren’t going to do a clean ending here, which is understandable.

Christian is in the back with a big smile on his face. He has an insurance policy and the entire WWE is the beneficiary. Anything goes and we’re in LA, which means the match is going to be like a summer blockbuster like Harry Potter. Well that’s better than a Buff Blockbuster I guess. Oh Christian is Potter while Orton is Cowboys and Alience. I haven’t seen that yet so I can’t make a joke there.

Ad for some movie.

Time to kill off any momentum we had built up in the first 45 minutes with a performance by Cee Lo Green. Since one song wasn’t enough, here’s another with some dancing Divas. Well we’ve just lost 5 minutes of my life.

Divas Title: Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix

Eve and Nattie are here as seconds. Kelly looking good in the tiny shite shorts and Beth in the blue skirt thing. Kelly uses speed to take over and does her gymnastics stuff. I can’t complain about an upskirt shot of Beth. Kelly dives off the middle rope to the floor. That looked decent. Beth remembers that she’s Beth Phoenix and she’s fighting Kelly Kelly so she gets a gorilla hot shot for two. Booker and Jerry as for a wardrobe malfunction. Off to a chinlock as Cole says he’s turned off by Kelly over some photoshopping thing.

Beth hooks an over the shoulder backbreaker but Kelly escapes into a neckbreaker for two. Kelly gets put in the Tree of Woe but escapes via gymnastics. This is kind of stop and go match. Kelly gets all fired up and slams Beth’s head into the mat a few times to come back. She looks spent though. Handspring elbow is caught into the Glam Slam and Kelly rolls through for the pin at 6:20. Yes, that just happened totally clean.

Rating: C+. Given what I was expecting, this was a miracle. It’s nothing great or anything but they tried out there. It’s pretty easily Kelly’s best match ever and that’s not covering a lot but they worked hard and it came off pretty well. I totally don’t get the ending but the plastic chick going over in Hollywood makes sense.

Stephanie comes out of Cena’s locker room.

Jimmy freaking Hart of all people is with R-Truth and says he needs a manager. Truth realizes something: JIMMY IS LITTLE! HE’S LITTLE JIMMY!!! Truth scares him off and talks about the conspiracy, yelling at Ron Artest and his daughter who are just chilling in the back for no apparent reason.

Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan

Mat stuff to start with Barrett in control. Booker talks about Bryan having his lunch today. We had breakfast talk on Friday and now this? Jerry calls Barrett a carnivore which is a decent enough line. SICK looking arm hold into a pin attempt by Bryan. Cole is way off tonight, calling Barrett the submission specialist and thinking Bryan was the carnivore Jerry was talking about.

Cross body gets two for Bryan. There’s a dragon screw legwhip which has Dusty Rhodes freaking out I’m sure. Running dropkick in the corner gets two and it’s surfboard time. Here come the kicks as Bryan channels his inner Rockette. Barrett gets a shot in and takes over again. This has been a match of varying streaks which is usually a formula for good stuff.

Barrett gets a slingshot (thing Blanchard) backbreaker for two and it’s off to a chinlock. The British dude keeps expanding his arsenal with a flying forearm for two. Oh and Bryan has a much shorter haircut now. Barrett gets sent to the floor with a dropkick and a running knee square to the head. That looked SICK. Back inside now and the pumphandle slam is countered into more kicks. Bryan is speeding things up and taking over now.

HARD kicks to the chest but Barrett won’t go down. Ok a big one to the head puts him down. I think he kicked the British out of him. Now Barrett takes over again and loads up Wasteland but Bryan elbows out of it and throws on the guillotine. That doesn’t work and it’s off to the LeBell Lock but Barrett makes the rope. I thought that was the end. This is getting some time too. They go up to the corner and Bryan gets crotched. Barrett gets a middle rope lariat to the crotched Bryan and now he loads Wasteland, which is enough for the clean pin at 11:45.

Rating: B. Match of the night here by far and it was good stuff. They went back and forth hard here and it let both guys showcase themselves really well. Bryan losing here is ok because he didn’t look bad at all. You can lose and not look bad and this is a great example of that. Good match here and I was way into it near the end.

The California National Guard is here.

We recap Christian vs. Orton. Basically Christian played up Orton’s anger management and got him to snap long enough to lose the title at Money in the Bank. Tonight it’s no holds barred. And remember Christian has promised a surprise insurance policy.

The champ comes out first which is odd. He has a mic and says he’s a man of his words. The insurance policy…..IS EDGE???? His haircut is a little weird but he looks about the same. A bit skinnier though which is expected. If I didn’t have to hit the gym every day I certainly wouldn’t.

Edge says that he’ll never be able to wrestle again but he was happy when he left because he was able to pass the torch to Christian. He thought the first defense against Orton was unfair but then Christian started complaining a lot. Christian did win the title back but he did it by disqualification. Edge did a lot of weak things but he did it with style and was never boring.

He didn’t hide behind suits and clipboards. No Edge you hid behind Vickie. Somewhere along the lines Christian became a disgrace to himself. Christian knows he’s better than that but now he’s just a whiner. With that, Edge leaves to a nice ovation. And heeeeeeeeere’s Randy!

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Randy Orton

No holds barred remember. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Opening slugout is won by Orton and he hammers the Canadian down in the corner. Christian gets that reverse guillotine thing of his and a jumping back elbow (love that move) gets two. Back body drop sets up the Garvin Stomp and a knee drop for two. They have a ton of time here.

The psychology is working here because they’ve had like 5 matches beforehand to get each others’ moves down, meaning the counters make a lot more sense. Elevated DDT is blocked into a backdrop to the floor. Orton loads up the table but the RKO is counter. Christian grabs the belt and heads into the crowd. The GM computer is there but it hasn’t been used in weeks.

Orton catches him in the crowd and hammers away. Back to ringside now and Christian finds a kendo stick to pound on Orton. He chokes away and shouts a lot and gets two. Christian charges at him in the corner and gets rolled up into a VERY close two count. Spinebuster gets two for the champion. Orton fires off a dropkick to block a kendo stick shot from the middle rope.

Randy is bleeding from the mouth a bit. He starts his finishing sequence and there’s the powerslam. Now he’s got the stick but Christian gets his feet up to break that up. Middle rope dropkick is countered into a jackknife cover for two for Randy. Thesz Press takes Christian down but Christian counters into the Killswitch. That is countered into the backbreaker for two.

Orton grabs some tables from under the ring but Christian spears him into the railing. Cole recaps the show in case someone is flipping through the PPV channels and wants to see if they’re watching the right show they bought I suppose. There’s a table set up at ringside and one in the ring not set up. Orton superplexes Christian onto the unset table but might have hut his tailbone. It only gets two anyway.

The table is already broken but Orton puts it in the corner anyway. Yes slap a cracked table with some of the legs already broken. Nothing could go wrong with that idea. Christian counters the toss into it and hits the reverse DDT. He loads up the spear but Orton jumps over him. RKO is countered and we go back to the floor. Christian goes into the steps and does a nice flip over them.

Now Christian puts Orton’s head into the steps so Randy is going to take a little nap now. Edge’s former brother but now his best friend for life because kayfabe is more powerful than blood drills him with the monitor and I think he says RKO. Christian tries an RKO but Randy has fought the Undertaker a few times so he counters into the RKO of his own and both guys are down.

The fans say this is awesome and they’re getting there. Back in the ring and Orton tries another RKO but Christian counters into the Killswitch for a LONG two. The fans thought it was over. The Spanish announcers are trying to get back on the air which is a funny visual. Christian has a chair now and make it a pair of them. It’s Conchairto time but Christian spits on Orton and takes FOREVER, allowing Orton to get up and crack Christian with the chair. The Canadian goes to the apron and a running shot to the head sends Christian through the table.

Orton still isn’t done as he throws everything he’s got under the ring. There are steps, kendo sticks, garbage cans and the table that is still up in the corner. Christian is on the steps trying to get a breather. Orton puts his foot on the champ’s head and tries a stomp but Christian moves. Powerslam puts Christian through the very end of the table, meaning the rest of it is still standing.

Now it’s stick time and Christian’s back takes a shot. The stick is already bent after two shots. There’s an elevated DDT onto the can. It feels like they’re just killing time for some reason. Orton goes into RKO mode onto the steps but Christian finds a kendo stick from somewhere. He tries to go off the ropes but jumps into an RKO on the steps, giving Orton his 9^th world title at 24:36.

Rating: B+. Definitely a good match but they’ve had a better one, probably at Over the Limit. The beating was really good and the ending was SICK. Christian was defeated here and that’s what he needed to have done. They’ll probably have one more blowoff match, hopefully in the Cell which is where this feud could go. After that one though, I don’t know if there’s a point. Still though, very good match that didn’t feel like it was 25 minutes, which is a good thing.

Video about Axxeess while they clear out the ring. There’s a lot of anti-bullying stuff there too. There are some uh….celebrities here I guess they’re called.

Stephanie is talking to HHH but we can’t hear what’s being said.

We recap Punk vs. Cena in the same video we’ve seen three or four times already. I think you get the idea of this already.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk

HHH is guest referee and it’s champion vs. champion. This show has been very good so far but if this match is as good as it could be, it hits great. Cult of Personality is a sweet song. We go way old school with a weapons check. Punk is far more popular than Cena. Feeling out process to start. The jean shorts are officially classic. The dueling chants begin and it’s totally domianted by Cena Sucks.

The feeling out process continues and John takes Punk to the mat almost in an amateur style. Now the fans think someone can’t wrestle. This has nearly 40 minutes if need be so they can build very slowly. Cena grabs a chinlock but Punk grabs one of his own including a body vice. Booker is complaining about the technical stuff. Release fisherman’s suplex gets two for John.

We’re seven minutes into this and there hasn’t been anything big yet. Then again it’s not even 10:30 so it’s not like they have to get going immediately. Punk in control and he drops a headbutt and it’s back to the bodyvice. HHH has been pretty inconsequential so far. Cena tries the STF but Punk kicks him off. The crowd is all over Cena tonight. Dropkick knocks Cena off the apron.

Back inside and Punk gets in some kicks to the ribs. There’s an Earthquake for two. Cena fights up but gets caught with a running knee to the head with him against the ropes. He falls onto the mat and fights up into You Can’t See Me. Cena tries the STF but Punk counters into the hold called the Anaconda Vice (Koji Clutch) which is countered into a modified STF. Cole sounds bored out of his mind on the hold.

Punk counters into the real Anaconda Vice (called a keylock) but Cena counters into a Crossface (called a front facelock or something) but Punk gets a rope. Suicide dive takes both guys out. HHH starts the count and both guys are down at 9. Thankfully he stops the count and goes to get them, drawing a round of applause. He throws both guys back in and says let’s go.

Both guys get up and it’s time for the slugout. Cena grabs an AA attempt but Punk escapes, only to get taken down by a SWEET dropkick. There’s the Shuffle but the AA is countered into a sunset flip which is countered into a jackknife cover which is countered into a backslide which is countered into a bridge and a kick to the head for two. AWESOME sequence!

GTS is countered and Cena hits a corner splash. Sitout powerslam gets two as this is getting awesome very quickly. Punk breaks up the top rope Fameasser with a running knee to the head (very popular move anymore) and a bulldog gets two. Punk tries the springboard clothesline but Cena counters into the STF but Punk grabs a rope. The fans are into it but they’re waiting on the HHH stuff I think.

AA is countered into the GTS which is countered into the AA for two. Cena complains to HHH but HHH says it was two. Cena goes up and gets HUGE air on the Fameasser but misses, crashing into the mat and possibly hurting his leg. GTS gets two and Punk is stunned. Punk goes up but is very tired. With a point to the air he drops an elbow for two. That made me smile. Punk’s face is great as he’s shocked.

There’s a Randy Savage chant which is the right idea. Cena grabs a rollup for two and Cena is all fired up. He punches away but Punk grabs a kick to the ribs and another knee to the head. GTS (hit the arm) gets three but Cena’s foot is on the rope. Chant with me: DUSTY FINISH! The pin went down at 24:30.

Rating: A+. It’s not as good as MITB but to call this less than a perfect grade would be unfair. They beat the tar out of each other and had some incredible chemistry as always. These two just have it and there’s no way to teach that. It worked perfectly and the whole thing was great. Cena was all over the place here, trying to prove how well he could work and that’s what he did here. Great match but great in a different way than last month, which is a good thing.

Punk is all happy post match but won’t shake HHH’s hand. HHH holds the arm up and leaves. Of all people KEVIN NASH is in the ring and beats up Punk, leaving him laying with a Jackknife. IT’S ALBERTO!!!

Raw World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk

Running enziguri and Del Rio is champion!!!!!!! He celebrates and we’re done. WOW.

Overall Rating: A+. I liked it better than MITB I think and that’s saying a whole lot. There isn’t a single bad match on the whole card as even the Divas were impressive. Great show here with a great pair of main events to end it. This has been an AWESOME summer and a lot of it has been spearheaded by Punk and hopefully it’s not going to end. The ending is great as we have questions, a great match and a new champion. Definitely worth seeing and it’s great for different reasons than MITB, which is a great sign. Great show and the best two show streak for WWE in years.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Summerslam 2010
Date: August 15, 2010
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Matt Striker, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Well we’re back again for the *insert Summerfest joke here* show. This is the epitome of a one match show as EVERYTHING has been about the Nexus invasion. The theory is that Cena turns tonight but I’m not sold on it. Nexus more or less has to win tonight or the angle is worthless. I’m not sold on this card very well at all, but it’s starting now so let’s get to it.

The opening is of course all about Nexus, which makes sense. The arena and set look great as this really is a huge show.

Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston

Pretty clear that Dolph retains here. Vickie does her usual whining and catchphrase here just to be annoying. Nice pop for Kofi but nothing great. We’re in MALTA BABY! Kofi misses a dive to start and is in trouble early on. Apparently the tag titles either aren’t major titles or his win is forgotten into the Rocker Tag Title Book of History. King makes a joke about liking 11s or 12s. On a 1-10 scale you freaking perverts.

Dolph is mostly dominant here as he hooks a chinlock. Kofi can’t get the “controlled frenzy” going according to Cole. Does everything have to have a name now? Dolph gets two on a roll thru of a cross body. We get a Fameasser reference from Striker as it makes Kofi famous. Even Lawler chuckles at it. He’s more energetic tonight for some reason. Trouble in Paradise misses, which might be because OF THE MASSIVE CHANTING OF BOOM BOOM BOOM by Kofi.

Sleeper goes on….AND HERE THEY COME? Yes, Nexus hits the ring and beats them up before circling Kofi. The big beatdown follows as I have a bad feeling about where this show is going. Barrett says this is a preview of later tonight. Expect a Kofi run-in later. Nexus is united apparently.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match for what they had, but the ending is very strange. This wasn’t bad, but with no ending like this it really hurt things. I really do expect the Cena turn now for some reason, which is why it likely won’t happen. Anyway, this needed a finish to be good but even still it’s decent.

Jericho wants Miz on the team tonight and so does Edge. Edge eating a Slim Jim is epic for no reason at all. They say he could be a huge star but doesn’t say yes.

Alicia Fox vs. Melina

Well at least this should be short. Melina has a freaking headdress on and she looks like a freaking idiot. Fox is attractive with straight hair. Shame that’s not the case here. Melina is in the skin colored tights which are always weird looking. Melina is the hometown girl so she’s all awesome and such apparently. Yep this is boring. It’s not bad, but seriously does ANYONE care about this match?

Still waiting on something to happen here. Melina might have hurt her knee on a move from the ropes. Alicia of course does nothing about it. Nice superkick by Melina. This is just boring me to death but Melina’s gyrations are helping a bit. That girl could make a KILLING as a stripper. After FAR too long, Melina wins with more or less a weird snapmare. Apparently it’s called the Mind Trip. Ok then.

After the win, cue Laycool to annoy Melina. They say this is awesome and want to take a picture with “two champions” in it so hopefully this will lead to a unification thing soon. Brawl ensues and the worst kick every by Michelle misses by at least 8 inches. Laycool’s music continues to be awesome. Michelle does a knee into the tables to put down Melina for a good while.

Rating: D. This was pretty bad. The ending came out of nowhere but thankfully it ended a bad match. I’m very glad to see that there might be a unification soon, but will anyone care even after that? It’s definitely the right move but with people like Fox chasing it then the whole thing is in trouble. Not a good match.

After a quick recap of the SES vs. Show, we go to this.

Straightedge Society vs. Big Show

How appropriate to have this after that video package. It’s Mercury, Punk and Gallows. Show dominates Mercury and Gallows in about a minute to get us to Punk, who gets face cheers. Oh and Show’s hand is fine. Gallows and Mercury get back up and the 3-1 beatdown begins.

Show comes back of course as it occurs to me that Punk has the most hair of anyone out there. Punk goes for the springboard clothesline and gets caught by the throat. He kicks Show in the head which was cool looking. Cole calls a bulldog a DDT because he’s a stupid man. Punk does a bunch of strikes to the hand and it just ticks Show off. Punk gets knocked to the floor and leaves. Mercury gets chokeslammed and pinned while on top of Gallows. Here lies the SES.

Rating: D+. Pretty weak here as more or less we knew it was just going to be Show winning in the end due to his huge size advantage. This was an ok match and the ending advances the story, but dang man why do they have to crush the SES again? For once could they actually let something go on for more than a month without crippling it?

Kane talks to the casket and Sheamus of all people comes up, saying he’d like to borrow the casket to put Orton in. Kane says no. Sheamus says stay out of his way and Kane yells at him. Odd moment but cool potential.

And here’s Miz. The Raw title match is next so he has a reason to be here. He wants to know if he should be on the team. The fans cheer but he doesn’t care what they think. Allegedly Hart and Cena begged for him to be on the team. He talks about every person on the team and how they’ve all done things to get him on the team. Awesome promo but he wants the fans to admit it. After a HUGE delay, he says yes he’ll be on the team. Cole orgasms loudly.

We recap Orton vs. Sheamus, which isn’t much at all. Orton won a match and now he’s the number one contender. The hype for this has more or less not existed.

Raw World Title: Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

Orton is in purple and Sheamus is in green, making this just freaking weird looking. Sheamus powers him back to start which is odd since he’s kind of quietly powerful. Slow start here which should be a good sign but I’m not sure here. They tease a countout and Orton is dominating which is a weird formula for a match.

This is just boring as they’re going WAY too slow. Orton’s arm gets worked on and the elevated DDT is reversed into a backdrop. Sheamus is in control and not much is going on. He hits basic moves and covers. This is apparently the main event and it started about 5 minutes after 9. He gets technical with a drop toehold to put Orton down.

Sheamus likes to use a double axehandle which is kind of a cool move for him to use. More people should use it. When I say more I mean like one total. Sheamus at least works on the arm which is the right idea if nothing else. Orton gets the backbreaker as this is just DRAGGING. The boo/yay cheers start up for punching. Orton does his usual array of clotheslines as I fight off sleep due to this.

Middle rope suplex gets two for the guy with non-mayonnaise colored skin. Sheamus hits his backbreaker for two which of course Cole is surprised by when the kickout happens. Brogue Kick misses though and Sheamus hits the floor. There’s the DDT but the RKO is countered which surprised me. He shoved him off and it legit looks like he hit it from both angles. Clearly countered though which was cool.

High Cross and RKO are both countered but Orton walks into the Brogue Kick for two as the fans are into this now. That’s the issue with WWE Title matches: you don’t have to get into them for a long time and everyone knows it so for the first ten minutes no one cares. Sheamus gets a chair and shoves the referee out for the CHEAP DQ.

Rating: D+. Oh this was bad. The ending crippled the actually solid last 5 minutes or so as the rest of this was just flat out boring. The slow style of both guys crippled each other and the ending had me shaking my head at how freaking dumb it was. I don’t get this at all as if nothing else have Sheamus get the chair shot and win that way but dang man, this was freaking stupid.

Post match Orton snaps and hits the RKO on the table. Good for him. Table didn’t break so at least it looked good. Sheamus is announced as still champion which should make us wait for either HHH or Miz’s theme music. Naturally we get the Legendary trailer.

We recap the way overdone Rey vs. Kane issue, which comes down to one thing: how would Rey know who did it? This took almost five minutes.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Kane

Kane brings the casket with him. Striker even throws out a quick summary of the Taker/Kane childhood which you NEVER hear anymore. Kane goes right for him and gets kicked in the knee. They talk about the keys to victory and King says that Rey’s potential innocence should help him win. Uh, what? Striker thinks this is speed vs. power. You can’t buy commentary like this people!

Kane takes over and we slow it down again. He gets a baseball slide which is cool looking. Can you imagine Kane playing baseball? That’s just funny for some reason. 619 is blocked and Kane takes his head off with a clothesline. We’re clearly just filling in time until the finish. It’s been mostly Kane here and as soon as I say that Kane goes into the post. Rey hits a flying battering ram move but Kane takes over AGAIN with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, a cool move.

Cole likes to talk about people being in the box. Kane wants the referee to ASK HIM. He’s been chilling with Jericho I guess. Top rope rana is blocked and Rey’s knee might be hurt. Wait wasn’t his ankle hurt on Smackdown? Springboard Splash misses so Rey just kicks Kane in the head. Well that works if nothing else. After more uneventful stuff, the 619 is blocked and Rey gets thrown into the casket.

The casket is closed and you know Taker will be in it soon. Chokeslam is blocked and 619 hits. Rey gets two off a counter to a counter to the springboard splash as the end is clearly near. Chokeslam hits to retain THANK GOODNESS!

Rating: C-. Better than the last match as at least this had an ending. It was still boring but Kane winning clean is a nice perk. You know it’ll wind up being Kane vs. Taker but Kane getting a clean win like this is good for him because he flat out needs them for some credibility. Not horrible but I’ve seen worse.

Post match Kane says he’s going to put Rey in the casket and opens it, showing that it’s empty. Two chokeslams and a tombstone (sick one too) and of course Taker is in the casket. He goes for Rey and asks if he’s heard of an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth? Taker asks him why he did it but Rey insists it wasn’t him. Hand around throat and the throat slit sign but he turns to Kane. Kane breaks Taker’s grip and tombstones him, leaving him laying. These guys are on and off more than all the high school relationships in history. Yep Kane is the heel again.

Ad for Smackdown on Sci-Fi.

Clips of Summerslam Axxess which looks awesome.

Recap of Nexus vs. Cena’s Army. If you don’t know this by now, go read the Raw recaps since I’m sick of this story.

Nexus vs. R-Truth/Edge/Chris Jericho/Miz/John Cena/Bret Hart/John Morrison

Remember that this is elimination. This should go for a LONG time. New shirt for Cena. Miz comes out last and Cena has something to say. Cena has a replacement, and it’s DANIEL BRYAN. The really weird thing here is that there was an article up on WWE.com where it spoiled this half an hour before it happened. That’s very freaky and I can’t imagine the speech he got because of it.

Nexus vs. R-Truth/Edge/Chris Jericho/Daniel Bryan/John Cena/Bret Hart/John Morrison

BIG brawl to start as Cole runs down Bryan every second because he has to. The official starters are Bryan and Young. This should be quick. Hey I’m right as Bryan gets a crossface and Young is out in like 30 seconds. That evens things out since Hart is more or less worthless. Gabriel and Jericho are in now and don’t expect every tag to be mentioned since it’s going to be very fast paced.

Tarver comes in and throws a lot of punches. Morrison gets a nice pop as the hometown boy. Flash Kick and Starship Pain put Tarver down to make it 7-5. He landed on his back this time so we’ll call that a success. Barrett wants a huddle. Sheffield comes in and boxes with Morrison kind of as Nexus takes over. The fans want Bret as it’s all Sheffield. Morrison makes a comeback but walks into a kick by Gabriel and the clothesline from Sheffield to make it 6-5.

Sheffield hits Truth in like 30 seconds to tie it up. Jericho comes in and gets beaten down. Why do they keep calling them Team WWE? Nexus is in WWE officially right? Jericho vs. Barrett is an interesting match actually. Bret and Slater come in as Cena hasn’t been in yet, which is rather interesting. Bret does basic stuff and gets the Sharpshooter but there’s a chair in. Sheffield gets the tag and Bret pops him with the chair for reasons of basic stupidity. That’s the best way to get rid of him since he can’t take a power move due to his health so there isn’t another way to do it really.

As a recap it’s Cena/Edge/Jericho/Bryan vs. Sheffield/Barrett/Slater/Otunga/Gabriel. Sheffield gets up and walks into the Codebreaker. Spear ties us up at 4. Gabriel gets a SICK spin kick on Edge. The kick itself was just ok but the impact looked great. Barrett and Edge slow us down a bit. Edge gets a spinwheel kick which is one of his old moves. I haven’t seen him use that in forever.

Otunga comes in and is booed out of the building. Edge hits the Edgecution and gets a face pop for it. Not sure whether it’s for Edge or against Otunga but whatever. Edge gets the tag but STILL no Cena. This is certainly compelling. Lionsault hits and Striker says HE HIT IT! Jericho loses the Walls for a bit but Otunga eventually taps to get us to 4-3 Team Cena. Jericho is wrestling like Lionheart here and a BIG Y2J chant starts. I still want a Jericho face title run.

And he runs into Cena, resulting in Slater hitting his Zig Zag for the tie. Cena and Edge both want in and Edge yells while Bryan plays peacemaker. Slater runs Edge into Cena and rolls him up to get Jericho and Edge in less than a minute. Edge and Jericho beat up Cena before leaving. Jericho: YOU’RE A STUPID MAN! Cena/Bryan vs. Slater/Barrett/Gabriel. Cena is finally in now and gets his head kicked in.

Very good match so far as Nexus has looked STRONG. Cena can’t get anything going and Cole will not shut up about Bryan. Gabriel gets a DDT on Cena that looked good. Everyone beats on Cena and as I say that we get a double clothesline. Bryan comes in and cleans house, using a freaking big boot. Striker wants Cattle Mutilation. Where’s PETA when you need them?

Cena is down on the floor which makes me wonder where this is going. Cena as heel vs. Bryan as face? After a lot of GOOD stuff from Bryan he gets Slater to tap. And cue Miz with the briefcase to blast Bryan and make it 2-1 with Barrett/Gabriel vs. Cena. Cena is more or less dead though despite not being beaten down past anything overly special. He goes into the ending sequence though after a missed Gabriel splash in the corner.

FU doesn’t work as Gabriel makes the tag and Nexus takes over again. It’s a massive beatdown here as Cena has NOTHING. The two guys pull the mats on the floor back and Barrett hits a DDT on the exposed concrete. Gabriel gets tagged in and the 450 MISSES! Cena rolls up Gabriel and instantly gets the STFU on Barrett for the TAP AND THE WIN!

Rating: B+. This was very good. They booked it perfectly, including the ending. As I said in the LD, Cena moved, covered, did a drop toehold, laid on Barrett’s back and pulled. THAT’S IT. That’s how he beat them both. He wasn’t doing an FU to both guys after escaping their finishers and hitting 4 shoulder blocks each. He outmoved them and it worked fine. Nexus looked solid out there and the whole thing looked fine. This was a good match and well done. It certainly wasn’t bad and is nowhere near what people are making it out to be. I loved this and it made the show for the most part.

Overall Rating: B. This was a good show, but it’s a kind that would need a footnote. This is the definition of a one match show. I don’t mean one match is great and the rest suck. I mean this was built around one single match and nothing else on the card mattered at all. Other than the 7 on 7 match, what else was hyped at all?

Luckily, that match was very good and hit on all cylinders. The rest of the card is ok, but it could have been better. The Orton/Sheamus ending was just bad. Kane overpowering Taker is interesting as it actually gives us some intrigue. This was a good show overall, powered mainly by the main event’s success. Not worth seeing much other than the main, but that’s expected with a show like this.

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