New Column: A Long Road To Paradise
Where I ramble about Kofi’s rise to the top any why it worked.
https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/kbs-review-long-road-paradise/
Where I ramble about Kofi’s rise to the top any why it worked.
https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/kbs-review-long-road-paradise/
Wrestlemania XXXV
Date: April 7, 2019
Location: MetLife Stadium, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips
America the Beautiful: Yolanda Adams
As long as this show is going to be, there’s something special about getting to see it every year. This year’s show is built around the three major matches and the question of how many happy endings we can have. You know it’s not going to be all three, but which of the three doesn’t go through. Those matches consist of Universal Champion Brock Lesnar vs. Seth Rollins, Smackdown World Champion Daniel Bryan vs. Kofi Kingston and the winner take all match for both Women’s titles as Ronda Rousey faces Charlotte and Becky Lynch in a genuinely historic main event. Let’s get to it.
Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Tony Nese vs. Buddy Murphy
Nese is challenging after winning a tournament and wastes no time in trying a jumping knee. Murphy gets sent outside but is fine enough to drop Nese ribs first onto the turnbuckle as we go split screen for an ad. Well at least they didn’t do this during the TV build. Back to full with Nese fighting out of a chinlock and suplexing the champ into the corner. Murphy gets tied in the ropes for a Lionsault but catches Nese with a superkick. A spinning faceplant gets two and some knees to the face have Nese in more trouble.
Nese is fine enough to hit a reverse hurricanrana and they trade a series of strikes to the face. Nese’s kneeling over the back piledriver gets two, followed by the 450 for the same. Murphy is right back up with Murphy’s Law but Nese gets a foot on the rope. With nothing else working, Murphy tries Nese’s running knee in the corner but walks into a superkick. A German suplex into the corner sets up the real running knee to give Nese the pin and the title at 10:43.
Rating: C+. Pretty good stuff here, even if I can’t imagine Nese holding the title very long. He’s the New York guy so it makes sense to have him win the title for a feel good moment. It wasn’t the most surprising thing in the world but it’s a good idea to open the night with a mostly short but effective match. Not bad at all, though Nese is a short term champion at best.
Kickoff Show: Women’s Battle Royal
Naomi, Lana, Nikki Cross, Asuka, Mickie James, Kairi Sane, Ember Moon, Ruby Riott, Sarah Logan, Liv Morgan, Zelina Vega, Dana Brooke, Eve Torres, Mandy Rose, Candice LeRae, Maria Kanellis, Sonya Deville, Carmella
It’s a wild brawl to start with Nikki Cross chasing Maria in a circle and getting rid of her. Asuka sends Nikki out and LeRae is out as well. Ember Eclipses Lana (as Captain Marvel) and knocks out Naomi, followed by another Eclipse to Mandy. Lana manages to get rid of Ember and insists that she’s #1 before kicking Sane in the face. Sane goes up and gets shoved to the apron, leaving us with a Lana vs. Logan staredown.
The Riott Squad gets together and dumps Lana but Sane is back in with the Insane Elbow on Logan. The Squad gets rid of Sane though and Logan lifts Morgan up for a flipping Stunner on Vega. Now it’s Asuka taking the triple teaming but she slides back in from the apron. Dana of all people fights back against the Squad and gets rid of Ruby. Logan is out as well but Vega blocks a cartwheel elbow.
Mandy and Sonya get rid of Vega and Brooke as we’re down to Logan, Rose, Deville, James and Asuka. James superkicks Mandy out but gets eliminated by Sonya to get us to three. Asuka sends Deville to the apron but Logan dumps both of them out….as Carmella slides back in, JUST LIKE LAST YEAR. Carmella knocks Logan over but Logan keeps her feet above the floor. A superkick gets rid of Logan to give Carmella the win at 10:30.
Rating: D. Hey, remember last year when someone snuck back in at the end and won the Women’s Battle Royal in a big surprise despite doing nothing coming into the match where someone could have gotten something out of it? No particular reason for asking of course. The match was your usual deal of everyone standing around until it was time for them to be eliminated until the ending. It was shorter than last year’s though and that’s an improvement. Oh and so much for Lacey Evans winning the thing as a surprise.
Kickoff Show: Raw Tag Team Titles: Revival vs. Zack Ryder/Curt Hawkins
The Revival is defending and this wasn’t announced on the Kickoff Show. Dawson takes Hawkins into the corner to start and gets two off a rollup. It’s off to Ryder vs. Wilder, the latter of whom gets the loudest cheer of his career after he decked the guy who jumped Bret last night. An armbar keeps Ryder down and Dawson comes back in to rip at Ryder’s face. Ryder gets in a suplex and tosses Wilder into the corner but Dawson knocks Hawkins off the apron.
We hit the chinlock on Ryder for a bit until he backdrops his way to freedom, allowing the hot tag to Hawkins. A backslide gets two on Dawson and Wilder gets knocked off the apron. The double clothesline gives us a double knockdown and it’s back to Ryder. The middle rope Rough Ryder hits Dawson and Ryder suplex suplexes Wilder to the floor for a scary crash. Hawkins throws Ryder back in for the tag but Wilder breaks up the cover.
Wilder DDTs Ryder on the floor and Hawkins takes a brainbuster to put all four down on the floor. Back in Dawson is rather cocky about beating Hawkins, who seems to be a bit dead. You never want to be too cocky in wrestling though and it’s a small package to pin Dawson for the titles at 13:21.
Rating: C. Ignoring Hawkins losing 269 matches in a row and not having a win since November 2016, Ryder not winning a non-Main Event match on TV since December 2016 and the team not winning a match together since 2008, this makes perfect sense. The love for the New York fans is strong tonight, which makes me wonder what kind of horrible things they have in mind for the main card. Just let the Revival go sit at home until their contracts are up though because I’d rather they go out with just this humiliation rather than seeing what else WWE could think of for them.
Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal
Colin Jost, Michael Che, Braun Strowman, Otis, Tucker, Kalisto, Gran Metalik, Lince Dorado, Ali, Titus O’Neil, Konnor, Viktor, Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy, Andrade, Jinder Mahal, Harper, Bo Dallas, Bobby Roode, Apollo Crews, Bo Dallas, Luke Gallows, Karl Anderson, No Way Jose, Tyler Breeze, Chad Gable, Heath Slater, Rhyno, Shelton Benjamin, EC3
Hey Harper is back. The SNL guys bail to the floor as Breeze and EC3 are both out. Shelton and Dorado are eliminated as well with Strowman throwing everyone he comes near. Harper vs. Strowman gets a big reaction but everyone piles onto them to break it up. Titus misses a charge and gets eliminated, followed by Ali tornado DDTing Jose and tossing him. Strowman gets sent into the post and goes through the ropes to the floor as Anderson is tossed.
Rhyno is out as well and the Hardys get into a mini match with Roode/Gable, with Roode being eliminated. Metalik gets thrown out by Mahal and Andrade monkey flips Kalisto out. There goes Gable as the ring is clearing out in a hurry. Tucker runs the Ascension over and there’s a double Caterpillar to both of them. The Ascension is thrown out but Strowman tosses Heavy Machinery.
Mahal is out next as Harper tries to suplex Ali, only to have Strowman kick them both out at the same time. We’re down to Strowman, Che, Jost, Matt, Jeff, Apollo and Andrade. Apollo and Andrade go to the apron and Andrade snaps off a hurricanrana to eliminate both of them in a dumb move. The Hardys try to pull Strowman out but the SNL guys come in and fail to throw them out.
Strowman shrugs them off and dumps the Hardys, leaving him alone with Jost and Che. One of them grabs a mic and says this doesn’t have to end in violence, so here’s his therapist to talk Strowman through this. Strowman beats him up and gives him a chokeslam (good thing the therapist knows how to take a flat back bump) before slapping Che out. A running boot in the corner misses and Jost goes for the elimination but gets shoved away. Strowman throws him out for the win at 10:24.
Rating: D. Yeah it was stupid and the SNL guys were annoying, but it was on the Kickoff Show and the right person won so I can’t complain all that much. Strowman should have won something bigger than this but at least he comes away with something instead of just being tossed out like anyone else. You know, like they did with Asuka in the first match.
Yolanda Adams sings America the Beautiful.
Helicopters fly over the stadium instead of the usual planes.
The opening video features wrestlers talking about this being the biggest stage and them being the players and storytellers. We see stills of famous Wrestlemania moments as the wrestlers talk about having the chance to live forever. They switch into a regular video of everyone involved with Lynch saying that they are the storytellers. This is a great idea, but not exactly practical when you consider that this is Wrestlemania GET EVERYONE ON THE CARD.
Here’s Wrestlemania host Alexa Bliss to say that Wrestlemania needs a goddess. She snaps her fingers…..and here’s Hulk Hogan. Well that works. Hogan: “It’s great to be back here in the Silverdome brother!” Ok that was funny. Hogan: “Ok it’s great to be back here in the MetLife Center!” He hits the catchphrase and poses with Bliss as Paul Heyman of all people storms out between the two of them. Heyman goes to the ring and says if they’re not closing the show, they’re not hanging around. They’re getting their business done and going to Las Vegas where Lesnar is ULTIMATELY appreciated.
Universal Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Seth Rollins
Lesnar is defending. Rollins has a new BEAST SLAYER graphic but Brock knees him off the apron and it’s an F5 on the floor before the bell rings. Lesnar throws him into various things at ringside and then over the announcers’ table a few times. They get inside but the referee won’t start the match because Rollins isn’t ready. Lesnar tosses him outside again for another whip over the announcers’ table and through the top piece of the table.
They go back inside and Rollins is mostly dead but gets to his feet for the opening bell. Three straight German suplexes let Lesnar bounce as Rollins’ back is all kinds of pretty colors. The F5 is escaped and the ref is bumped, allowing Rollins to hit the low row. Rollins hits the low superkick and the Stomp connects. A second and third Stomp give Rollins the title at 2:30.
Jerry Lawler joins commentary.
Randy Orton vs. AJ Styles
The CGI graphics are back with Orton’s being a HUGE snake that made me jump. Battle over respect between the two of them as Orton has asked why it took AJ so long to get here. An early RKO attempt is blocked so Orton goes with a thumb to the eye and the Orton Stomp. AJ gets back up with the dropkick and the slingshot forearm to the floor drops Orton again. Orton is thrown back in and knocks AJ into the barricade. The chinlock doesn’t last long as AJ fights up with the Phenomenal Blitz and a basement forearm.
The Styles Clash is blocked and Orton tries the hanging DDT, which is reversed into the Calf Crusher. Once the rope is grabbed AJ goes to the apron and loads up the Phenomenal Forearm but drops back down as Orton jumps for the RKO and crashes, allowing AJ to hit the springboard 450 for two. Orton is back up with the top rope superplex as the fans are interested in something else.
The hanging DDT plants AJ and Orton plays to the crowd to get their attention back. The RKO is countered with an enziguri but the second attempt connects for two. It feels like it’s been awhile since anyone kicked out of that. With the regular version not working, Orton loads up a super RKO but gets kicked out to the floor. That means a Phenomenal Forearm to the outside and the regular one finishes Orton at 16:17.
Rating: B-. This was about what you would have expected with good action between two talented veterans. AJ knowing that the RKO counter was coming was fine and the ending was as decisive as you could get with AJ surviving the RKO and winning clean. It’s a perfectly good match and it’s not like the two of them have anything else to do at the moment. Expect a rematch next month.
Lacey Evans cameo, though this time she stops to sneer at the crowd.
Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Ricochet/Aleister Black vs. Shinsuke Nakamura/Rusev vs. The Bar
The Usos are defending. Jey and Black start things off but Sheamus tags himself in and low bridges Jey to the floor. Black gets taken down and it’s Rusev coming in to hold Black up for a kick from Rusev. It’s off to Ricochet with the springboard clothesline for two on Nakamura before spinning around Cesaro multiple times for a headscissors.
That just earns him a shot to the face and it’s time to swing Ricochet while Sheamus beats on Rusev’s chest. Nakamura tries to make a save so Sheamus beats on him as well, followed by the same to Jey and Black, all while Ricochet is swinging Ricochet for well over a minute. The Sharpshooter goes on with Jey making the save, earning himself a trip to the floor with his brother.
We settle down (kind of) to Black bringing in Ricochet, who gets caught by Rusev in a swinging release Rock Bottom. Everyone goes to the corner for the required Tower of Doom, with Ricochet rolling through because he’s Ricochet and more awesome than you. Black knees Sheamus down and Ricochet hits the 630 for two with a bunch of people diving in for the save. We get a parade of kicks to the face with Sheamus taking the double superkick. The Double Us retains the Usos’ titles at 10:05.
Rating: C+. The big spots helped a lot here and it felt like an amped up Smackdown match, which is one of the best things that you can have in this situation. There’s no other way you can go with no story and the match being thrown together on Smackdown. Just have them do the spots and do the best they can, like Ricochet sticking the landing and that insane swing.
Recap of the Hall of Fame.
Honky Tonk Man (Long overdue)
Harlem Heat (More than deserved)
Torrie Wilson (The bar has been lowered)
Brutus Beefcake (Sure why not)
Hart Foundation (Yep, and may I add yep)
Sue Aitchison, with John Cena’s 600th Make-A-Wish (Nothing wrong with that)
D-Generation X (Fine, though they feel weak for headliners)
We recap Shane McMahon vs. The Miz in the feud that WWE cares about and thinks we do too. Miz’s dad is a horrible person and only cared about his son when Miz started teaming with Shane, who didn’t like having to fix Miz’s daddy issues. Tonight it’s Falls Count Anywhere to blow it off.
Shane McMahon vs. The Miz
Falls Count Anywhere. Shane makes Greg Hamilton do his entrance three times, with the third being held out extra long. Miz’s dad is in the front row so Shane goes straight to the floor to choke him. The chase is on but Shane gets in a monitor shot to the head. The big elbow through the announcers’ table is loaded up so Miz’s dad gets in the way. Still doesn’t help the fact that he’s a horrible father.
Dad gets in the ring and puts up his fists so Shane jumps him. The beating brings Miz back into the ring to take Shane apart and send him into the barricade before checking on his dad. With the medics taking care of Papa Miz, Miz tackles Shane over the barricade and they head into the crowd, eventually going to the tech arena near one of the towers that holds up the structure above the ring. They go into an open area of the crowd with Miz hitting Shane in the foot with a chair.
Another shot to the back lets Miz knock Shane over to the international commentators station where tables are overturned. A chokeslam puts Shane through the table for two and a monitor shot knocks Shane over a barricade and down into the shadows (cool visual). Miz follows and gets a delayed two as replays show Shane landing on top of a golf cart.
They fight up a camera tower ala HHH vs. Undertaker at Wrestlemania XVII with Miz hitting a Skull Crushing Finale onto a metal platform for two. Shane gets in a shot to the face and climbs to the top of the tower as this isn’t going to go well. Miz follows him up and gets rather stalkerish as he stares Shane down to one knee. Shane begs off so Miz hammers away and suplexes him off the tower onto a crashpad….with Shane landing on top for the pin at 15:38.
Rating: C-. Why not. Why not. WHY THE #$**#%%!!@# NOT! Why shouldn’t we spend five months building this up and giving Shane McMahon a title before having him win at Wrestlemania? I’m sure this will continue, because going from November until April isn’t long enough for a Shane McMahon story. That’s just great.
The match itself was your usual walking around the stadium fight with Miz dominating through most of it until the end. The deal with Miz’s dad was a cool moment but they should have brought him out later on in the match instead of so close to the beginning. Not bad overall, but the ending was stupid.
Paige joins commentary.
Women’s Tag Team Titles: Boss N Hug Connection vs. Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. IIconics vs. Nia Jax/Tamina
Bayley and Sasha Banks are defending. The IIconics are a devil (Billie) and a black winged angel (Peyton). Natalya and Beth are in matching pink and black so here’s Bret Hart to stand with them on the stage and then go to the back. It’s a brawl to start with Nia being sent into the steps. We settle down to Peyton getting beaten up but Billie helps her out, allowing them to hit their superhero pose.
Beth gets bulldogged onto Billie’s knee with the kickout making Peyton scream. Natalya comes in for a Hart Attack for two on Billie with Bayley making the save. It’s off to Sasha, who is taken down without too much effort. Natalya and Beth lift Sasha into the air so Bayley makes the save and throws Bayley at Beth for the Bank Statement but Beth powers out as you probably expected.
Natalya puts Bayley and Sasha in the Sharpshooter at the same time until Tamina breaks it up with a superkick. Nia gets back in and starts crushing people, setting up Nia and Tamina going up top at the same time. Beth saves Banks from death by shoving Nia off and Sasha drops the frog splash for two on Natalya. Beth is back up and takes Bayley to the top for a super Glam Slam….but Billie comes in and steals the pin and the title at 10:46.
Rating: D. Some of the spots were good but at the same time, there were too many people running around and it hurt things a lot. I do like the IIconics coming in and stealing the belts as it certainly fits their style better (Do they even have a regular finisher?). But yeah, just too much going on when it didn’t need to be the case. Drop Beth and Natalya and it would have fit better, but I guess the Beth Phoenix fan club needed one more moment?
The helicopter pilots from earlier are here.
We recap Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan. Kingston has basically done everything there is to do in the company outside of winning the World Title. He got close in the Elimination Chamber but couldn’t quite pull it off. Vince McMahon then decided to throw one challenge after another at him with Kofi coming up just short every time until Big E. and Xavier Woods won a tag team gauntlet match to get him the title shot. If Kofi doesn’t win here, I don’t know if he ever will.
Smackdown World Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan
Kofi is challenging with New Day in his corner while Bryan has Rowan. Big E. has a present for Kofi, but only after he wins. They go to the mat to start with Kofi sticking the landing off a monkey flip to send Bryan outside. That means the big dive over the top as the roster is watching in the locker room again, where there is a total of one single monitor showing the match. Back in and Kofi tries to jump a little too much, allowing Bryan to pull him down into a surfboard.
Some forearms to the back of the head seem to wake Kofi up and it’s a clothesline into the Boom Drop. Bryan bails outside and Kofi dives after, only to crash onto the announcers’ table ribs first. Back in and we hit the waistlock for a good while as Bryan stays on the ribs. He switches over to the Boston crab, eventually stepping to the side to make it half Liontamer. With that broken, Bryan loads up a belly to back superplex but gets elbowed down three times in a row.
Kofi drops a top rope splash to the back for two but the ribs are banged up again in the process. Trouble in Paradise misses and they go to some rollups for near falls until Kofi kicks him in the head. Bryan stops him with a stomp out of the corner and busts out the YES pose for a nice callback. The running knee is countered into a rollup and SOS gets two but Bryan reverses into the LeBell Lock in the middle of the ring.
The long crawl gets Kofi’s leg on the rope and Bryan is starting to get mad. The kicks to the ribs have Kofi in trouble but he fires back kicks of his own, capped off by a reverse suplex (ok then) for a close two. Rowan goes after New Day but Kofi hits him with Trouble in Paradise, followed by the Midnight Hour on the floor. Bryan’s suicide dive is countered by a right hand but Trouble in Paradise misses, allowing Bryan to hit the running knee for two, causing the fans to build a roof on the stadium and then blow it off.
Bryan has had it and starts stomping the head as Woods and Big E. watch on. The LeBell Lock goes on and the referee checks the arm….which stays up. Bryan hits him in the face and pulls again but Kofi rolls out and hammers away at Bryan, who won’t let go of Kofi’s hand. That lets Kofi stomp away for a change and Bryan is done, setting up Trouble in Paradise to give Kofi the pin and the title at 23:41.
Rating: A-. I mean….they could have gone out there and demonstrated how to make a pimento loaf and it wouldn’t have mattered as long as they had that ending. That was a genuine Wrestlemania moment and you could feel what it meant to everyone. This was incredible and one of the best moments they could have had. Eleven years ago, Kofi had the worst debut match I’ve ever seen and now he’s WWE Champion at Wrestlemania. Not too shabby.
Post match Woods pulls off the cover and unveils the non-wooden title so Kofi can pose with the right design, already complete with custom side plates. Kofi’s kids come in to celebrate and now it’s time to open the present. It’s a new New Day shirt with Kofi holding the title.
We recap the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal.
Bliss, now in a different outfit, goes in to see Jost and Che as they’re checked for injuries. She says don’t worry because they’re in good hands….because Scott Hall and Kevin Nash are the doctors? And giving them prostate exams? Am I missing a joke here?
Booker T. joins commentary.
US Title: Samoa Joe vs. Rey Mysterio
Mysterio is challenging and I believe he’s dressed as Mysterio from Spider-Man. Joe goes straight at him and Rey hits a 619 in less than a minute. Rey’s wheelbarrow bulldog is countered into the Koquina Clutch….and Rey is out at 1:00. So I’m thinking he’s still a bit injured? Booker: “I DID ALL MY PREP WORK FOR THAT???”
Trailer for Batista’s new movie.
We recap Roman Reigns vs. Drew McIntyre. Reigns is back from leukemia and needed a first singles match. Drew took out both Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins and is promising to do the same to Reigns tonight.
Roman Reigns vs. Drew McIntyre
McIntyre is played to the ring by the New York Police Department Bagpipe Band. Reigns lowers his head to start and gets kicked in the face but what looked to be a powerslam is escaped. That means a legdrop to the back of the head over the middle rope but Drew is right back with the Glasgow Kiss. The chinlock has Reigns in more trouble until Drew takes him outside for a suplex, thereby upping the total amount of trouble.
The reverse Alabama Slam gives Drew two and he tells Reigns he should have said no. A flipping slam off the top has Reigns down again as Drew tells him that he broke the Shield. The Future Shock (Drew: “THIS ONE IS FOR AMBROSE!”) is broken up so Drew slaps him in the face. A big boot sends Drew outside and it’s a Samoan drop on the floor. Back in and the jumping clothesline puts Drew down, followed by the Superman Punch to do it again. The spear finishes Drew at 10:10.
Rating: C-. Totally standard Raw main event with Drew trying but not having a prayer of winning. There’s only so much you can do when everything is against you like this and Drew tried as hard as he can. Just getting this spot is Drew’s big win of the night and that’s not the worst place to be. He’ll be back and do just fine because he’s that good.
Here’s Elias to play some drums rather well. Now he’s at a piano (teleporting from one to the other) and does quite splendidly there too. Now he’s in the middle of the ring with his guitar. Elias the drummer and Elias the piano player play him in and he continues to have chops. Piano and Drum take a bow and now guitar Elias is on his own. The fans sing a little OH WALK WITH ELIAS and Elias promises more versions of himself, including a harpsichord player. As he starts his song, a SPECIAL BULLETIN appears on screen showing….the 1932 World Series?
Babe Ruth calls his shot (yes he did) and hits a home run….and here’s John Cena to Basic Thuganomics. Well you know the Yankees gear is making his skin crawl. Cena says Elias got the worst deal because John Cena is about to turn heel. He feels like he’s watching one of his movies because this whole thing sucks.
Cena isn’t feeling it because this is a wasted wrestling experiment. Cena: “They call me the golden shovel so I’m about to bury your push.” He throws him some nuts and says there’s no AA today, but here’s an FU. Cena lays him out with the knuckles and plants him with the FU. This worked well as Cena is often at his best when he’s making fun of himself.
We recap Batista vs. HHH. Batista wanted one more match with HHH to end their careers on his terms so he beat up Ric Flair to get HHH’s attention. The match is on and it’s No Holds Barred.
Shawn Michaels is on commentary.
Batista vs. HHH
No Holds Barred with HHH’s career on the line. Batista slips through the ropes on the way into the ring before heading outside to glare at Shawn. He even walks around the ring and does his entrance again, this time without the slipping. HHH’s entrance video seems to be inspired by Mad Max and shows a road race. The stage opens up and the car drives out with HHH on the back. I’ve seen worse.
Batista drives him into the corner to start but gets elbowed out to the floor. They fight to the floor with HHH going over the announcers’ table but managing to pull out a tool box to hit Batista in the head. Now it’s a chain to whip Batista in the back and choke a bit before going for some pliers. Batista’s finger gets bent back and HHH stomps on the pliers to make it even worse. Now it’s time for some needle nose pliers, but first he sits in a chair on Batista’s throat. HHH: “THAT’S A NICE NOSE RING!” And then he rips it out with the pliers!
Graves: “Batista won’t be able to be a guardian of the house like this! This guy is my boss!” Batista heads to the floor (Shawn: “His nose is bleeding!” Graves: “YOU THINK???”) and drops HHH onto the announcers’ table three times in a row without breaking the thing. Some chairs to the back keep HHH in trouble and they head back inside with Batista busting out a White Noise of all things.
Back to the floor with Batista putting the steps onto an announcers’ table and clearing off a second one, complete with a point to Shawn. The Batista Bomb off the steps is countered with a backdrop and the table STILL doesn’t break. Good grief where have those tables been all these years? HHH gets up, throws a crotch chop, and spears Batista through the German table. They slowly get back inside and HHH (eventually) finds a sledgehammer.
That just earns him a spear for two but a charge with the hammer is cut off by HHH’s raised boot. The spinebuster connects and it’s time for the Batista Bomb, with HHH dropping the hammer on his way down. That gets two and Batista brings the steps inside. He takes too long punching in the corner (right in front of the steps because wrestlers never learn) and gets powerbombed down onto the steps.
The Pedigree….only gets two as this keeps going. Batista gets in a DDT onto the steps and things stop again but here’s Ric Flair (I was waiting on him) to hand HHH a sledgehammer. HE COULDN’T DO THIS TEN MINUTES AGO??? HHH uses the steps to launch into a sledgehammer shot to the head but Batista pops back up so he can eat the Pedigree for the pin at 24:49. You know, because a JUMPING HAMMER TO THE HEAD isn’t enough to pin someone.
Rating: D+. The first ten minutes of this was very good but, as tends to be the case for almost any HHH match anymore, it went on too long because there was way too much laying around between moves. The ending looked ridiculous as well but that’s another situation. What they did early on was entertaining and brutal (that pliers thing was nuts) but I was looking at the clock near the end, which happens way too often.
Alexa Bliss (outfit #3) has the B Team model AND STILL CHAMPION Daniel Bryan shirts. Ron Simmons comes in for the cameo.
JBL joins commentary.
Kurt Angle vs. Baron Corbin
Rating: F. The idea of Kurt Angle losing to Baron Corbin in his last match is a failure. Not because it’s Angle last match. Not because the match wasn’t good. Not because WHY? But because we now have to deal with more Baron Corbin on Raw as more fans’ heads explode as we try to figure out what WWE sees in him. I’m sure this was Angle’s decision and while I can respect that, someone named McMahon should have overridden him.
Post match Angle wants his music played one last time so we can get in one more YOU SUCK. That’s exactly what he gets, as he should.
Intercontinental Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Finn Balor
Lashley, with special contacts in, is defending and Balor is the Demon, making its Wrestlemania debut. Balor hits a spinwheel kick and ax kick to the back, followed by a dropkick to put him on the floor. There’s the big flip dive but Lashley catches him with a spinebuster back inside. Lashley hits a heck of a spear through the ropes to drive Balor to the floor, followed by a regular one for two back inside. Balor gets back up and powerbombs Lashley (good one too) and the Coup de Grace gives Balor the title back at 4:04.
Rating: C. The spots were good (that spear was awesome) and the powerbomb looked awesome, but the problem is they didn’t need to do the Demon here. I get why they did it and it makes sense to do it at Wrestlemania, but at the same time what’s the point in having him do it if he can already beat Lashley and Lio Rush? It’s a good enough match, but this story was them trading the title and then the Demon doing what regular Balor could do.
Alexa (#4) announces the new WWE attendance record of 82,265. She thinks we need a break though so here are R-Truth and Carmella for the world’s largest dance break.
Wrestlemania XXXVI is in Tampa Bay on April 5, 2020.
We recap the women’s triple threat match. Becky Lynch has become the people’s champion, Charlotte is the Smackdown Women’s Champion and the corporate pick and Ronda Rousey is the Raw Women Champion and the unstoppable force. Tonight is winner take all for both belts, but it’s much more about the history because the match is actually headlining the show.
Raw Women’s Title/Smackdown Women’s Title: Ronda Rousey vs. Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch
Ronda is Raw Women’s Champion and Charlotte is Smackdown Women’s Champion….and she comes in via helicopter and lands in the parking lot, where a red carpet is rolled out for her in a Horseman homage. Since she has to walk a good ways into the stadium, here are Joan Jett and the Blackhearts to play Ronda to the ring. The bell rings at 12:01am and Becky goes straight for the Disarm-Her on Ronda but gets shoved away so they can all head outside.
That means a Piper’s Pit for both of them and Ronda starts the trash talk. Charlotte gets up and sends Rousey into the barricade, setting up a showdown with Charlotte inside. The Disarm-Her to Becky is broken up and it’s Ronda coming back in to kick Becky in the face. A double powerbomb over the top is countered into a double armbar on Becky and Charlotte. Becky escapes and dropkicks Ronda to the floor for a NASTY crash on her back. Charlotte Downward Spirals Becky into the buckle for two as we look at Rousey landing square on her back again.
Becky is right back with the Disarm-Her but Ronda comes back to life and makes the save. A running knee breaks up the armbar on Becky and Charlotte hits a double Natural Selection for two each. Becky gets sent outside so Charlotte chops Ronda, who tells her to bring it. That’s just what Charlotte does with a backhand to the face so Ronda hits a jumping knee, which is countered into a Liontamer. Becky breaks it up with a bulldog and hits a double DDT for two each.
A super Bexploder gets two on Charlotte, setting up a double high crossbody from Rousey. The double armbar is countered with a double powerbomb Ronda is done for the moment. Becky calls Charlotte to her and avoids a charge, letting Becky kick her to the floor. The Disarm-Her goes on and Rousey uses the ropes to stand up for the break. A missed charge lets Becky get the Disarm-Her in the corner until Charlotte’s big boot breaks it up.
Charlotte starts in on Rousey’s knee and gets the Figure Four but Becky comes off the top with a legdrop for the save. And now, a table because that’s what this match was calling for. Rousey breaks up a powerbomb through the table and turns the table over, saying tables are for b****** (at least the third time she’s used that word so far). Charlotte comes back in for a double spear as Cole’s voice is almost gone.
The table is set up in the corner and Charlotte gets two off a spear to Becky. Rousey gets back up and helps Becky drive Charlotte somewhat through the table to knock her outside. The fight is on and Rousey goes with a Shining Wizard and tries Piper’s Pit….but gets reversed into a crucifix to give Becky the pin and the titles at 22:27!
Rating: B. The ending was straight out of Angle vs. Benoit at Wrestlemania XVII with the submission attempts all match until the quick pinfall. What matters here is Becky defeated Rousey to win the titles as she should have. That was how this show needed to end and it did, even if the ending could have been a bit smoother. Charlotte will be fine and I’m curious to see who goes after Becky as the first victim.
Replays show Rousey’s shoulders were WAY up so there’s your story going forward (if Rousey sticks around). Cole: “Tonight will forever be known as WrestleMANia!” Oh just stop dude. Pyro and posing takes us out.
Overall Rating: B-. Let’s get the things I got wrong out of the way first. First: this was WAY better than I was expecting after last year’s near nightmare of a show. Second: they actually did give us three happy endings, which I said several times would not happen. I’m very glad to be wrong on that, but I certainly was wrong. Third: yeah HHH vs. Batista went on too long and it brought things down. I had high hopes and they didn’t come through.
Now for the good stuff: the right people won (mostly) and the big matches all went to the right people. For the first time in way too long, we had something to cheer about. If that’s it for Lesnar at the moment, thank goodness because he needs to go away for a long time and leave the title here. Rollins will be fine as champion for the summer before someone wins Money in the Bank and takes it from him (It’s going to be Corbin isn’t it?). Becky winning was the right way to go also, even if the ending was a little rushed. There’s one big one left though.
Kofi Kingston is WWE Champion. That was one of the best moments I’ve seen WWE put on in years and might pass Bryan in New Orleans. It felt special and you don’t get that often enough, mainly because there was serious doubt if they could actually pull the trigger. I loved that moment and was happier than I’ve been at something in a long time. I’d have loved to see it close the show, but I get why they couldn’t go there. Incredible moment though.
Overall, the pacing was FAR better than what they’ve had in recent years and while there was a lot of stuff they needed to trim down (despite having multiple matches go less than five minutes), it didn’t drag nearly as bad as it has before. It still needs to be shorter by about an hour (at least) and not everyone needs to be on the show, but for what we got, it was one of the better shows in recent memory and we got a genuine Wrestlemania moment. Well done, and it was close to being great.
Results
Seth Rollins b. Brock Lesnar – Stomp
AJ Styles b. Randy Orton – Phenomenal Forearm
Usos b. The Bar, Aleister Black/Ricochet and Shinsuke Nakamura/Rusev – Double Us to Sheamus
Shane McMahon b. The Miz – McMahon pinned Shane after a superplex off a camera tower
IIconics b. Boss N Hug Connection, Nia Jax/Tamina and Beth Phoenix/Natalya – Super Glam Slam to Bayley
Kofi Kingston b. Daniel Bryan – Trouble in Paradise
Samoa Joe b. Rey Mysterio – Koquina Clutch
Roman Reigns b. Drew McIntyre – Spear
HHH b. Batista – Pedigree
Baron Corbin b. Kurt Angle – End of Days
Finn Balor b. Bobby Lashley – Coup de Grace
Becky Lynch b. Ronda Rousey and Charlotte – Crucifix to Rousey
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
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A B+ isn’t that bad.
I’ve gone back and forth on this one since before the match was announced and that hasn’t changed yet. We’re at the point now where Kingston either needs to win the title or do something completely different because he has all the momentum in the world right now. Kingston is more than qualified to win the title (period) and it would be the awesome moment if he wins the title.
I’ll take the plunge here and say the title changes hands here, though there’s next to no chance of Kingston making it to the middle of May as champion, which is just fine. The whole point here is the title win, which is the kind of moment that you need on a show like this. Kingston doesn’t need to be a main eventer long term, but being a former WWE Champion sounds just fine.
Smackdown
Date: April 2, 2019
Location: Royal Farms Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips
It’s the final final show before Wrestlemania and with five days to go before the longest event in history, I’ll set the over/under for matches being added at two. Tonight in theory should be the first time we get to see the strong promos between Kofi Kingston and Daniel Bryan because less than two weeks is enough time to build a WWE Championship match at Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.
Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.
We open with the Kevin Owens Show with two guests: Randy Orton and AJ Styles. Orton turns his back on AJ and talks about saving the fans from having to watch Styles vs. Kurt Angle last week. AJ says Orton has been here for nearly twenty years and has learned one move. That makes Orton laugh because AJ spent years wrestling in front of dozens of people in high school gyms and armories while Orton was wrestling at Wrestlemania in front of tens of thousands of people.
AJ: “You were in WWE. Getting suspended for failing drug tests.” Orton ignores that and says if AJ is as good as he thinks he is, AJ would have been in the WWE years ago. Now that John Cena has gone off to Hollywood, AJ is WWE’s corporate b****. That’s enough for Owens, who immediately leaves as the fight is on. AJ knocks him back and loads up the Phenomenal Forearm, which dives straight into the RKO. That finish looked great and I could go for seeing this match.
Ricochet/Aleister Black/Usos vs. The Bar/Rusev/Shinsuke Nakamura
Cesaro blocks Ricochet’s early hurricanrana attempt so it’s a headscissors for two instead. An uppercut allows Sheamus to come in and Ricochet is already in trouble. Ricochet slips out of a gorilla press and brings Black in for the rapid strikes. It’s off to Ricochet vs. Jey but Rusev low bridges Jey to the floor, setting up a whip into the steps. Back in and Nakamura gets kicked down, drawing Sheamus in to break up the hot tag as we take a break.
We come back with Jey still in trouble as Rusev and Nakamura make a wish with the legs. Nakamura’s front facelock is broken up with a Samoan drop and it’s off to Jimmy to clean house. Everything breaks down and Cesaro gives Ricochet Swiss Death with some great height. A double superkick gives Jimmy the pin on Rusev at 10:28.
Rating: D+. The ending was good but there was only so much to get out of the match with so many people getting such a limited amount of time. You can see the four way title match from here, even if it makes very little sense when Rusev just took a fall from the champs. It makes no sense, but that’s never stopped WWE before.
Post match here’s Alexa Bliss to talk about how things are getting ready for Wrestlemania. After rolling her eyes at Kevin Owens for thinking he’s a better talk show host, Alexa brings up the Usos forfeiting against New Day last week. That was disgusting, so it’s going to be a four way for the titles at Wrestlemania with the Usos defending against everyone else in the match. The fight is on because the match we just saw meant nothing.
Here are the IIconics for a chat. The talk about how huge it’s going to be when the Usos have to be the champions before moving on to their important match. There are several ways to become champions so on Sunday, it’s a no brainer that they’ll win the titles and make Wrestlemania ICONIC!
We look back at Ronda Rousey, Becky Lynch and Charlotte being arrested last night. They’ll be out of jail in time for Sunday.
The Miz vs. Sanity
Courtesy of Shane McMahon. Before the match, Miz talks about how Wrestlemania means different things to different people. It’s going to make him the best Miz he can be because he’s fighting for his father and his family. Shane has a father too and that makes him a son of a b****. Shane McMahon comes out to watch and gets his own introduction before Eric Young (cleanshaven) jumps Miz to take us to a break.
Back with Miz doing what he can but Shane makes this Falls Count Anywhere. Shane also puts up the shot of him attacking Miz’s dad, which fires Miz up enough that he knocks Sanity into the crowd. Wolf gets slammed through a table for two with Young making the save. They fight tot he back with Dain getting rammed into an electrical box. Young takes a knee to the face and Miz rolls a garbage bucket into his face for the pin at 9:28.
Rating: D. Just let Sanity go already. They can barely make it onto the show and now they’re losing a three on one handicap match to The Miz: Hardcore Specialist? And all of this is for the sake of Miz vs. Shane? The match was nothing, and Miz winning was as much of a stretch as you can get.
Post match Miz sees Shane leave in his car. At the same time, a police car comes up and lets Becky Lynch out.
We recap Stephanie McMahon announcing the Winner Take All stipulation as well as the brawl involving the police.
Here’s Becky to stand on the announcers’ table for a chat. She talks about what a difference a year makes. A year ago she and Charlotte were best friends but then she slapped Charlotte in the face at Summerslam and everything changed. Now we’re coming up on 80,000 people watching the Queen, the Baddest Woman on the Planet and the Man going head to head to head. It started with a slap and it’s ending with her as a double champ.
Carmella/Nikki Cross/Asuka/Naomi/Hardys/R-Truth/Heavy Machinery vs. Mandy Rose/Sonya Deville/Zelina Vega/Lana/Anderson and Gallows/EC3/Andrade/Shelton Benjamin
GOT ALL THAT??? Nikki and Zelina start things off and here’s Lacey Evans to interrupt. Nikki suplexes Vega into the corner and it’s off to EC3 vs. Matt with the latter hitting a Side Effect for two. Otis comes in for the Caterpillar and we take a break. Back with Naomi hitting a sitout jawbreaker on Mandy and a double tag bringing in R-Truth and Andrade. Truth sends him into the corner though and it’s time for a Dance Break as everything breaks down for the double DQ at 9:08.
Rating: D. This was a way to throw in as many people as you could into one match for the sake of pretending that they have a chance to actually win anything on Sunday. Asuka is a possibility, though at this point Lacey walking out at the end and winning in a surprise wouldn’t surprise me.
Post match the big fight is on with Asuka being the only one to not be thrown out.
Video on Seth Rollins vs. Brock Lesnar.
Samoa Joe vs. Ali
Non-title. Joe backs him into the corner to start for the snap jabs but gets dropkicked outside for the suicide dive. Back in and Ali avoids a charge in the corner, setting up the rolling X Factor. Ali’s 450 (not 054) misses and it’s the Koquina Clutch for the win at 2:24. I really hope that’s not all Ali gets to do anymore.
It’s time for the contract signing between Daniel Bryan and Kofi Kingston. Bryan and Rowan are already in the ring as New Day come out, complete with pancakes. The fans’ KOFI chants are shushed by Bryan because he’s here to educate the masses. The fans need to stop thinking that a few months of success make up for eleven years. Their life lesson: DO NOT BE COMPLACENT. Also, don’t be a bystander in your own lives like Kofi has been doing.
He’s sat and watched while New Day pushed him to the top. The Kofi chants keep going as Bryan rants his final lesson: don’t mistake a fad for reality. Bryan has been where Kofi is now but with YES chants instead of KOFI chants. The reality is that the people feed off of him because they are parasites. Bryan wants Kofi to soak this in because it’s as good as it’s ever going to get. Kofi grabs the mic and says it’s time to educate Bryan. He can claim to know what Kofi is feeling but it’s become clear that Bryan knows nothing about him.
Kofi watched Bryan become champion in two years but not as a bystander. Bryan hasn’t been through eleven years with no singles title matches because it’s all led here. Kofi sees Bryan trembling because Bryan knows Kofi is ready. The one common thread is that Bryan knows what Kofi is feeling and knows what’s coming. At Wrestlemania, Kofi becomes WWE Champion. Kofi signs and we’re set. Kofi sounded nervous, but the fire was there and that’s what mattered.
Overall Rating: D+. Some of the build was acceptable but the wrestling was so bad with very little from Smackdown looking important for Sunday. The ending was good with Bryan and Kofi finally getting to bring it but egads man did it take them long enough to get there? This Wrestlemania build has been so uneven and it’s really not helping things given how long the show is going to be. They needed something strong here and didn’t get that, but at least there were a few good parts here and there.
Results
Usos/Ricochet/Aleister Black b. Shinsuke Nakamura/Rusev/The Bar – Double superkick to Rusev
The Miz b. Sanity – Garbage bucket to Young’s head
Carmella/Nikki Cross/Asuka/Naomi/Hardys/R-Truth/Heavy Machinery vs. Mandy Rose/Sonya Deville/Zelina Vega/Lana/Anderson and Gallows/EC3/Andrade/Shelton Benjamin went to a double DQ when everyone brawled
Samoa Joe b. Ali – Koquina Clutch
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
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Smackdown
Date: March 26, 2019
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Uncasville, Connecticut
Commentators: Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips
Ok it has to be tonight right? I mean it has to be. Tonight has to be the setup for Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan for Wrestlemania. Now when I say has to be, I mean it should be but probably won’t be as WWE is likely waiting until the very last possible chance to make the match for some reason. Let’s get to it.
Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.
Here’s New Day to get things going. That means a lot of chanting for Kofi, which shouldn’t be very surprising at this point. If Woods could be serious for a minute, the last few months have been an emotional roller coaster and the fans have been here from NEW DAY SUCKS to NEW DAY ROCKS. It’s been worth every bit of it and the KOFI/NEW DAY ROCKS chants begin.
However, given all the obstacles places in Kofi’s path, they’re considering walking away from WWE. Kofi has been treated badly for eleven years and he’s lived the power of positivity the whole time. They can’t make a decision until they get answers and they would need to be from Mr. McMahon. Therefore, they’re not leaving the ring until Vince comes out here. Cue Vince but before he can say anything, Daniel Bryan and Rowan interrupt instead. Bryan says New Day is a stale novelty act that Vince created and all he has to do is bring up three people from NXT, call them Fresh Afternoon and have them throw waffles into the crowd.
Kofi is a loser and Vince shouldn’t let Big E. and Woods get in his head. Vince has been right to keep Kofi out of the title picture and the people refuse to accept that reality. Bryan and Kofi argue about who is the hypocrite but Vince wants everyone to shut up. He doesn’t like the threats of quitting that were never going to happen.
Vince still sees Kofi as a B+ player but the question is if New Day is a B+ tag team. There is a way for Kofi to get to Wrestlemania: Big E./Xavier have to win….a tag team gauntlet match. Are they really managing to be this lazy on the Road to Wrestlemania? Doing three gauntlet matches in about seven weeks is their brilliant idea?
In the back, Becky Lynch talks about how she’s bringing the people and Ronda Rousey is bringing the title, but what does Charlotte bring? Charlotte comes out to the ring and says she’ll show you how worthy she is.
Smackdown Women’s Title: Asuka vs. Charlotte
Asuka is defending and the announcers are rather stunned. They fight over wrist control to start until Asuka grabs a headlock. A shot to the ribs puts Charlotte on the floor and we take a break. Back with Asuka getting two off a sunset flip but getting kicked in the knee. Asuka shrugs off the kicks and hits a hip attack in the corner, followed by a sliding basement dropkick for two. Another hip attack misses and Charlotte kicks her in the face. Charlotte’s moonsault is countered into the Asuka Lock with a rollup getting Charlotte out of trouble.
Back from a second break with Asuka getting two more off another kick to the head. Asuka heads up top but gets caught in a super Spanish Fly for a rather near fall in a spot you almost never see on the main shows. The followup takes too long though and it’s a triangle choke from Asuka, which is reversed into a sitout powerbomb (What else would it be?). The Figure Eight gives Charlotte the title at 15:52.
Rating: B. Another very good match from these two as they work well together, but that’s quite the curve ball for the main event. Odds are this leads to a unified title, which is the best thing for everyone right now. You have Asuka, Rousey, Becky and Charlotte at the moment and if Rousey is leaving, there’s no need for two titles between three big stars. Let the rest of the division fight over the Tag Team Titles and go with the traveling champion, as it’s best for everyone.
With Asuka down on the floor, Kurt Angle comes out for his match. Way to make the women look important there guys.
AJ Styles is honored to be Kurt Angle’s final Smackdown opponent and isn’t taking this match lightly.
AJ Styles vs. Kurt Angle
They shake hands and hug before the match before AJ pulls him down into the Calf Crusher. Angle is about to tap but hangs on long enough to reverse it into the ankle lock. AJ sends him into the corner for the break and here’s Randy Orton with an RKO to Styles for the DQ at 1:30. NOW WHY COULDN’T THEY DO THAT WITH SAMOA JOE LAST NIGHT???
Post match Angle gives Orton the Angle Slam, dropping him on the way to the mat.
Rey Mysterio and his son Dominick say that Samoa Joe isn’t going to have a good time at Wrestlemania when Rey becomes the new US Champion.
Here’s Miz for a chat, but first he needs to agree with the MIZ IS AWESOME chants. We’re twelve days away from Wrestlemania and the only thing he can imagine is ripping Shane McMahon limb from limb. Miz wants to hurt Shane so badly that he wants to change things a bit by making it a Falls Count Anywhere match. This brings out Shane, albeit behind a group of security guards and various midcarders. After having the ring announcer do a well done introduction, Shane says Miz sounds as dumb as his father looked.
We see an image from Fastlane of Shane grabbing Miz’s dad by the face with Shane saying it makes him feel better every time he sees it. Shane loved hurting Miz’s dad to the point where it was euphoric. Therefore, the stipulation is accepted, though Shane says he made a mistake of not hurting Miz even more. It was the biggest mistake since Miz’s father impregnated his mother.
Miz beats up the security and the wrestlers (to be fair it was Sanity and Shelton Benjamin) as Shane watches from the stage. A dive off the barricade lets Miz beat then into the crowd in a rather strong moment. They’re getting twenty minutes at Wrestlemania aren’t they? They’ve presented the thing as the third biggest match on the show so far.
We look back at the opening segment.
We look back at the Women’s Title match.
We look back at the SNL guys agreeing to enter the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal.
The IIconics are excited to be in the Women’s Tag Team Title match.
Tag Team Gauntlet Match
If New Day wins, Kofi gets his title shot at Wrestlemania. Big E./Xavier Woods are in first and Anderson and Gallows are in second. Woods goes straight at Anderson to start and it’s UpUpDownDown for the elimination at 49 seconds, which isn’t even enough time for me to make fun of Anderson and Gallows for still being around.
Rusev and Shinsuke Nakamura are in third as a crowd is gathering to watch backstage, including the Hardys, Rey Mysterio and Becky Lynch. Woods headscissors Nakamura down but misses a Stinger Splash in the corner. That lets Nakamura hit the running knee in the corner and Woods is sent outside as we take a break.
Back with Good Vibrations and a knee drop getting two as the audience has grown. The reverse exploder is countered and it’s Big E. coming in for some overhead belly to bellies. The Warrior Splash looks to set up the Big Ending but Big E. gets sent outside. That means a whip into the steps for Rusev but he’s fine enough for the Machka Kick back inside. Woods is back in for a dive onto Rusev as Kinshasa misses. Nakamura goes into the post and UpUpDownDown pins Nakamura at 9:27 total.
The Bar is in fourth and we’re joined in progress with Sheamus working on Big E.’s leg before handing it off to Cesaro. That means the Swing into the Sharpshooter but Big E. kicks him out to the floor. The hot tag is broken up but Big E. manages to fight them both off and, after a backdrop to Cesaro, the hot tag brings in Woods. Everything breaks down and it’s a big flip dive onto the Bar. A guillotine legdrop gets two on Cesaro with Sheamus diving in for a save.
Back from another break with Big E. caught in a half crab from Cesaro but Sheamus charges into a powerbomb. It’s back to Woods, who dives into an uppercut for two. The spike White Noise is broken up though and it’s a rollup to pin Sheamus at 23:55. We’re not done though as the Bar takes out Big E. and powerbomb him through a table.
The Usos are in fifth and want Big E. to get up and fight. Hang on though as Jimmy grabs a mic and says the Usos have fought wars against the New Day. Kofi deserves the shot so since he’s already earned respect from everyone….so the Usos forfeit at 26:23. We cut to the back where Bryan and Rowan freak out and wreck their locker room (that’s a lot of chairs for two people).
Back from another break with Rowan and Daniel Bryan being announced as the final team. Big E. can barely stand so Bryan wraps his leg around the post as Rowan crossbodies Woods. We settle down to a regular match with Bryan stomping on Big E. and grabbing something like an ankle lock/half crab hybrid. Big E. gets over for the hot tag to Big E. anyway and it’s a flip dive onto Rowan.
The Rock Bottom out of the corner plants Bryan and the Big Ending connects but Rowan makes the save. The claw slam gets two and it’s time to load up the announcers’ table. Woods is back up with a tornado DDT off the steps to drop Bryan and Rowan goes into the post twice in a row. A clothesline sends Rowan over the table and Big E. turns it on top of him to win via countout at 37:49.
Rating: C+. I liked this one better with the slightly shorter length and some more creative ways to end some falls. Above all else, the champions involved didn’t get pinned, which is a lot better than what I was expecting. The problem is I also expect New Day to turn on Kofi for getting him into the match and leaving him with the glory.
A rather calm Vince gets in his limo and says Kofi is going to Wrestlemania to face Daniel Bryan for the title.
The locker room comes out to celebrate with Kofi to end the show.
Overall Rating: B+. Well they nailed this one for the most part, assuming you don’t mind a strong curve in Charlotte winning the title. Kofi FINALLY being set up for the title match is a great thing, though I don’t think he gets the title. I’m rather relieved that they didn’t have Angle go over AJ and they even threw in some storyline advancement. Throw in no mention of the Women’s Battle Royal or the Smackdown Tag Team Title matches and I’m very pleased.
Results
Charlotte b. Asuka – Figure Eight
AJ Styles b. Kurt Angle via DQ when Randy Orton interfered
New Day won a gauntlet match last eliminating Daniel Bryan and Rowan
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
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Main Event
Date: March 21, 2019
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Renee Young, Byron Saxton, Percy Watson
As tends to be the case around this year, it’s time to hurry things along as we have to build up Wrestlemania in a hurry since WWE feels the need to add things in as fast as they can. I’m not sure what to expect here, but I’d assume some short matches that don’t mean much will be included. Let’s get to it.
Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.
Opening sequence.
Rezar vs. Curt Hawkins
Zack Ryder is here to counter the force that is Drake Maverick. Hawkins charges straight at him but gets shoved down and a fall away slam makes things even worse. Back in and Rezar hammers in some crossface forearms and the chinlock goes on. A side slam gets two and we hit the neck crank. Hawkins fights up for some dropkicks as the fans are behind him here. A superkick to the ribs into a DDT gets two and another DDT sets up the top rope elbow for another near fall. Rezar is right back up and the chokeslam finishes Hawkins at 5:53.
Rating: D. I’m getting into Hawkins more every week and that’s rather impressive considering what he’s been doing for about two and a half years now. He’s trying to get this over and it takes a lot to get fans into a character that has no chance of winning. The big win is going to be a cool moment, though I’ve been saying that for over a year now.
From Raw.
Raw Women’s Title: Ronda Rousey vs. Dana Brooke
Ronda is defending and if there is any justice in the world, Dana shouldn’t lay a finger on her and then lose in about thirty seconds. Rousey knees her in the face, knees her in the ribs and the armbar finishes Brooke in 19 seconds.
Rousey won’t let go of the arm until some referees come out. Ronda beats them up too and goes over to her husband, who hits a guard for trying to hold her back. Browne pulls Ronda over the barricade.
From Smackdown.
It’s time for the KO Show with Kevin Owens talking about how tonight is all about Kofi Kingston. He’ll be watching the gauntlet match closely, but for now we need to get to the guests. That would be Becky Lynch and Charlotte with Owens talking about how Becky is willing to fight Charlotte and Ronda Rousey at the same time.
As for Charlotte, Becky has said that she was shoehorned into the match and doesn’t belong. What Owens knows is that everyone is sick of hearing them talk and want to see the two of them fight. They stand up, Owens, leaves, and the fight is on. Security and referee get beaten up as well as the fans are very pleased with Becky.
We look at Drew McIntyre attacking Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose.
From Raw.
Drew McIntyre vs. Seth Rollins
The fight is on in the aisle with referees and security out to break it up. Joined in progress with Drew pulling him down into an armbar with the pressure on the face. A hard shot to the face keeps Rollins in trouble and they head outside, where Seth misses a moonsault off the steps to send us to a break. Back with Drew stomping on Seth’s back as it’s all McIntyre so far.
Rating: B. This was starting to rock at the end and as tired as I am of that ending, it did what it needed to accomplish. Lesnar gets to prove that he’s smart enough to mess with Rollins and McIntyre looks strong before going on to face Reigns. Lesnar’s distraction might not have been inspired stuff, but at least it went the right way after a pretty awesome match while it lasted.
From Raw.
Batista joins us via satellite and says he doesn’t like HHH. He’s wanted one more match with HHH but can’t get his attention. Batista has heard about how he owes his career to HHH but all HHH ever did was groom him to be the muscle. There’s more to him than just being a meathead and it was HHH who caused him to quit nine years ago. There were goals that Batista wanted to accomplish but HHH was cutting him off. Now look at what Batista has accomplished since leaving WWE.
Cole defends HHH but Batista doesn’t buy it. HHH is a cerebral assassin and now he’s gotten in Cole’s head too. The real HHH is a manipulative control freak so hopefully Vince McMahon fires him one day and ends his corporate career. Then at Wrestlemania, Batista can end his in-ring career. Interview over. That’s the explanation I’ve been waiting on and it cleared up enough to make the story work. It’s still a stretch, but at least it’s a story that can make sense.
Wrestlemania rundown.
Titus O’Neil/Lucha House Party vs. Revival/Ascension
SERIOUSLY??? This is what the Revival has been reduced to less than a month before Wrestlemania??? We take a break at the bell because no one cares about this show. Back with Kalisto in trouble in the corner but kneeing his way out of Konnor’s suplex attempt. The hot tag brings in Titus to clean house with the Clash of the Titus finishing Viktor at 6:43. Nowhere near enough shown to rate but the Revival did not need to be slumming it like this.
We get clips of Kofi Kingston’s gauntlet match.
From Smackdown.
Post match Big E. and Woods come out to celebrate and here’s Vince McMahon to interrupt. Vince congratulates Kofi, who is going to Wrestlemania….if he can beat one more person. That would be Daniel Bryan, who kicks away in the corner to start. A knee to the ribs cuts off Kofi’s comeback and Bryan ties him in the Tree of Woe for more kicks to the ribs.
Bryan gets two off a top rope belly to back superplex and we hit the LeBell Lock. Kofi gets a foot on the rope for the break The YES Kicks are countered into the SOS for two and the fans gasp on the kickout. Some running corner dropkicks connect with Kofi reversing the third into another rollup. Bryan avoids a spinning high crossbody and stomps away at the head and it’s the running knee for the pin at 1:00:06 total.
Rating: B. It was long and exactly as advertised, but if this company EVER stopped moving the goalposts, I think my head would explode. It’s the same thing as the Becky Lynch story where the evil boss just feels like being evil and changes the match. I’m sure Kofi will get the title shot, but we’re long past the point of this being surprising. It’s just the move that WWE makes and that’s not a good thing.
The match itself was however a good thing with Kofi showing that he can hang in there for a long time at a high quality, which is exactly what he’s done for years. The fans want to see him, but you can only keep doing this “HAHA EVIL BOSS” stuff before it stops mattering. Considering that it’s happening in two big matches, it’s rather taxing and downright annoying.
New Day checks on Kofi to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. Now this is more like it with Main Event as we get a nice balance between the two shows instead of everything from Raw for a change. Wrestlemania season is the part of the year that matters most and in this case we actually got a nice set of recaps. The original content was rather terrible but it’s not like that matters in the slightest. Nice show this week, which is more than I would have bet on.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
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Smackdown
Date: March 19, 2019
Location: Bankers Life Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips
It’s a Kofi Kingston night as he has to run a gauntlet match to get to the main event of Wrestlemania. In theory, with so few shows left to go before the pay per view, they’ll finally announce the match and let us have a few weeks to build. There’s a lot of other stuff to build on the way there too though and I’m not sure how much time everything else is going to get. Let’s get to it.
Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.
Here’s the Miz to open things up (Not the gauntlet match, which was announced as opening the show. It doesn’t mean anything, but why announce it if you’re just going to change it within a few days? How hard can it be to keep something that straight?). We see a video on Shane McMahon’s explanation from last week, including the announcement of his match with Miz at Wrestlemania.
Miz talks about being focused on the Road to Wrestlemania for his entire career and, other than his wife and daughter, he has sacrificed every relationship he has to make it there. Over the years he has worked to make his father proud of him and Shane McMahon helped make that happen. He had been told that Shane was a little different behind the scenes and then Shane turned on Miz and even attacked his father. Shane was born into the McMahon Family so he was born the Worst In The World.
Vince and Shane may own the company but they don’t own Miz and they don’t own Kofi. Miz wasn’t born into privilege and he was destined to flip burgers at his dad’s restaurant. Then he defied everyone and became WWE Champion on his own. You can boo him or cheer him but you can’t deny his work ethic. He’s a proven success story and it took him thirteen years but now he feels like he has earned that respect. The fans give him a YOU DESERVE IT chant and Miz agrees that he does.
It was a good face turn promo, though tying it into his month long friendship with Shane is about as tough of a sell as you’re going to go. Also, again, it’s really hard to buy the idea that Miz’s dad wasn’t proud of him for the World Title, the nine Intercontinental Titles or anything else, but a nothing tag team with Shane. The moral of this is that Miz’s dad is a pretty horrible parent and that’s not enough to turn Miz into a huge face.
Boss N Hug Connection vs. IIconics
Non-title. Before the match, the IIconics mock the champs for playing it safe, including going back to NXT to make themselves feel better. Bayley chases Peyton to the floor to start and it’s off to Sasha, with Bayley lifting her up for a dropkick. Billie comes in and gets taken down, allowing Sasha to mock the pose.
Hang on though as here’s Lacey Evans for a distraction and Billie gets in a discus lariat for two. Back from a break with Bayley and Billie hitting a faceplant for the double knockdown. Banks and Peyton come in off the double tag and it’s a Meteora for two on Royce. Kay boots Bayley in the face on the floor and helps Peyton roll Sasha up for the pin at 8:25.
Rating: D+. I’m so glad that we had the champs lose in one of their first matches together for the sake of setting up the title match. With Bayley and Banks saying that they’ll fight anyone, why not just have them fight everyone? Or let this be a singles loss or something like that? Or, for a change, just have some challengers win a few matches to get their shot? Crazy talk I guess.
Rey Mysterio is in the back and has an announcement. He brings in his son Dominic (of THE FOLLOWING LADDER MATCH IS FOR THE CUSTODY OF DOMINIC fame), who will be in the front row when Rey challenges Samoa Joe for the US Title at Wrestlemania.
Wrestlemania rundown, with nothing new added.
It’s time for the KO Show with Kevin Owens talking about how tonight is all about Kofi Kingston. He’ll be watching the gauntlet match closely, but for now we need to get to the guests. That would be Becky Lynch and Charlotte with Owens talking about how Becky is willing to fight Charlotte and Ronda Rousey at the same time.
As for Charlotte, Becky has said that she was shoehorned into the match and doesn’t belong. What Owens knows is that everyone is sick of hearing them talk and want to see the two of them fight. They stand up, Owens, leaves, and the fight is on. Security and referee get beaten up as well as the fans are very pleased with Becky.
AJ Styles talks about Randy Orton having some advantages. Yeah Orton is 6’4 and 250lbs. He’s a first round draft pick and AJ is a walk-on. That’s ok though, because at Wrestlemania, AJ is proving that this is his house. Oh and good luck to Kofi tonight.
Here are Daniel Bryan and Rowan to talk about how Kofi’s gauntlet match is an injustice. Daniel doesn’t buy this idea that Kofi is being held down because he was put in the gauntlet match and the Elimination Chamber. It was nothing he had earned because he was handed a spot. Both times, Kofi lost and he has earned nothing.
Kofi really is a B+ player but that’s ok with the fans because a B+ is good enough. Hey that could be a New Day shirt. No amount of chanting changes the fact that Kofi keeps losing. This brings out New Day because it’s time for the gauntlet match. That’s an interesting way to go with Kofi vs. Bryan and something that could have some legs in the promos.
Gauntlet Match
Of course Kofi starts and gets Sheamus first, with Big E. and Xavier Woods barred from ringside. Feeling out process to start with Kofi getting caught in a headlock on the mat. Sheamus gets armdragged into an armbar before Kofi sends him outside. That means a no hands dive but Sheamus pounds away with the ten forearms to the chest. Back in and Kofi stomps away until Cesaro gets in a cheap shot from the apron. The chinlock doesn’t last long and we take a break.
Back with Kofi hitting the Boom Drop and getting two off a spinning middle rope crossbody. Sheamus is right back with the Cloverleaf, which gets rolled up for two. A knee to the head rocks Kofi for two and we see the Usos joining the New Day watching in the back. The Brogue Kick is blocked and Trouble in Paradise gets rid of Sheamus at 13:41.
Mustafa Ali and the Hardys are watching as well as Cesaro jumps Kofi from behind with a gutwrench suplex getting two. Cesaro works on the leg and back but runs into a boot in the corner. A springboard is countered with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker as we take a break. Back again with R-Truth joining the locker room crowd and Cesaro swinging Kofi into the Cloverleaf. That’s broken up so it’s a half crab Liontamer for a bit before Kofi has to backdrop out of the Neutralizer. The SOS gives Kofi the pin at 21:31.
Rowan is in next and runs Kofi over with a knee, followed by shots in the corner. Another shoulder drops Kofi on the floor and Rowan whips him hard into the corner. Rowan goes with the long form plan by hitting Kofi in the back with a chair for the DQ at 23:13. A bearhug keeps Kofi in trouble and it’s the Iron Claw through the announcers’ table. Kofi is mostly dead as Samoa Joe is in next.
Back from another break with Joe cranking on the neck and saying Kofi will never go to Wrestlemania. Those are incorrect fighting words so Kofi strikes away, only to get caught with the enziguri in the corner. The neck crank goes on, followed by a heck of a clothesline for two. We hit another chinlock and the locker room viewing party has grown even more. The Koquina Clutch is countered with a jawbreaker but Joe gets the Rock Bottom out of the corner for another near fall. Joe loads up the Muscle Buster but Kofi rolls him up for the pin at 35:25. You couldn’t have Joe take the DQ instead of Rowan?
Post fall Joe chokes Kofi out and here’s Randy Orton as the last entrant. Back again with Orton in control and talking trash to Kofi. A whip into the steps gives Kofi a breather but he can’t follow up, allowing Orton to slap on the chinlock. Kofi fights up and throws a dropkick, which Orton slaps away with ease.
The RKO is countered though and Kofi hits Trouble In Paradise but Orton rolls outside as we take another break. Back again with Kofi in trouble but managing to hit a high crossbody. That’s rolled through for a near fall and there’s the hanging DDT to make it even worse. Orton takes his time loading up the RKO but Kofi rolls him up for the final pin at 53:43.
Rating: B. Hang on a second.
Post match Big E. and Woods come out to celebrate and here’s Vince McMahon to interrupt. Vince congratulates Kofi, who is going to Wrestlemania….if he can beat one more person. That would be Daniel Bryan, who kicks away in the corner to start. A knee to the ribs cuts off Kofi’s comeback and Bryan ties him in the Tree of Woe for more kicks to the ribs.
Bryan gets two off a top rope belly to back superplex and we hit the LeBell Lock. Kofi gets a foot on the rope for the break The YES Kicks are countered into the SOS for two and the fans gasp on the kickout. Some running corner dropkicks connect with Kofi reversing the third into another rollup. Bryan avoids a spinning high crossbody and stomps away at the head and it’s the running knee for the pin at 1:00:06 total.
Rating: B. It was long and exactly as advertised, but if this company EVER stopped moving the goalposts, I think my head would explode. It’s the same thing as the Becky Lynch story where the evil boss just feels like being evil and changes the match. I’m sure Kofi will get the title shot, but we’re long past the point of this being surprising. It’s just the move that WWE makes and that’s not a good thing.
The match itself was however a good thing with Kofi showing that he can hang in there for a long time at a high quality, which is exactly what he’s done for years. The fans want to see him, but you can only keep doing this “HAHA EVIL BOSS” stuff before it stops mattering. Considering that it’s happening in two big matches, it’s rather taxing and downright annoying.
New Day checks on Kofi to end the show.
Overall Rating: B-. This was almost a one match show and while that’s ok, they need to start adding some stuff to the pay per view. If that seventeen match card is going to be correct (and I don’t believe it’s going to be that high), they need to get on with it. They have eight official matches (Cruiserweight Title match is announced but an opponent is needed) and that leaves a lot of stuff to make official with two weeks to go. I know WWE likes to add in a bunch of twists but it would be nice if they could announce more stuff and let it build instead of saying “well maybe next week” every week.
Results
IIconics b. Boss N Hug Connection – Rollup to Banks
Daniel Bryan won a gauntlet match last eliminating Kofi Kingston
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
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Main Event
Date: March 14, 2019
Location: PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Renee Young, Percy Watson, Byron Saxton
It’s recap week during one of the most important times of the year. I wouldn’t mind if they just dropped the original stuff during this season as it’s just taking up time when they could talk about more important things. Then again Main Event has never made the most sense in the first place. Let’s get to it.
Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.
Opening sequence.
EC3 vs. Tyler Breeze
Did Breeze forget to go to the tanning bed this week? He looks like Aiden English. EC3 elbows him in the face to start and drops the EC3 elbow as Watson talks about how awesome he is. I mean yeah, but he needs more results. Another EC3 elbow is countered by a superkick for two but a hard clothesline gets the same. A powerbomb is countered into an enziguri but it’s a TKO to drop Breeze again. Not that it matters as Breeze grabs a hurricanrana for the pin at 4:09 (Nothing can stop him, nothing can touch him. Ask your parents).
Rating: D. The lack of time killed this one, as did whatever EC3 did to Stephanie and HHH’s cat. At this point, what else could it possibly be? Everything Watson said about him was true and it’s rather sad that the best they can do with him is the guy who hits on the good looking blondes.
From Raw.
Here’s the Shield for their big farewell speech. Roman Reigns talks about how he’s learned you’re not promised tomorrow so if they rode together for the last time, he has no regrets. As for now though, he hasn’t had a one on one match on Raw in five months so we should correct that. Ambrose has business of his own too, and even if no one knows what it is, we love him anyway. That leaves us with Rollins, who has been chasing the dream for a long time now. The fans give us a SLAY THE BEAST chant, which Reigns turns into BURN IT DOWN.
We see the ending of Drew McIntyre vs. Dean Ambrose from Raw.
Harlem Heat Hall of Fame announcement.
From Smackdown.
Here’s Vince McMahon to talk about offering Kofi Kingston a title shot at Wrestlemania. First though, we look at Kofi’s handicap match at Fastlane in a ruse. Back in the arena, Vince talks about how the fans heard what they wanted to hear because he never said Kofi was getting the shot. Vince says everything is a teachable moment but here’s New Day to interrupt. Big E. isn’t going to learn anything right now because they do everything he tells them to.
They flew halfway around the world to India on Vince’s orders and haven’t ever threatened to leave if they don’t get what they want. Kofi has been here for eleven years and deserves a chance. Vince goes into a rant about how no one deserves anything, including him. Big E. says this is bigger than anything, including Vince’s ego. Vince: “Now there is nothing bigger justifiably than my ego.” Xavier talks about Kofi pinning the WWE Champion multiple times but he’s never gotten a one on one shot.
The WWE Universe demands that Kofi get s chance to compete but Vince isn’t buying it. He wishes Kofi deserved this and while he’s done all kinds of great things in the Royal Rumble and the Elimination Chamber, he’s going to be in the Hall of Fame….as part of New Day instead of on his own merits. Kofi is smart enough to take the glory and have these two younger guys do all the work. Vince wishes Kofi was championship material and earlier today, Daniel Bryan called him a good B+ player.
Kofi finally speaks, saying he doesn’t want a handout. He goes around the world doing what he loves but it’s cost him a lot. Kofi has missed birthdays, weddings and has never even gotten to take his kids trick or treating. He wasn’t there earlier this week when his son lost his first tooth. Through all that, Kofi has never complained, even though Vince has never let someone like him compete for the WWE Title.
What Kofi needs right now is to be told what he needs to do so he can do it. This brings out Orton….and Joe….and the Bar….and Rowan in a gauntlet match next week to get his title match. Everyone comes to the ring and the fight is on with New Day fighting off the villains to end the show. Awesome promos from New Day, who have earned this status over the years but never really used it.
Video on Ronda Rousey/Charlotte/Becky Lynch.
From Smackdown.
Here’s Becky Lynch for a chat, though first she has to throw away the crutch. She limps to the ring and recaps the entire story, which doesn’t make sense when she sums it up. Becky is glad to be here and happy to be in Wrestlemania after Fastlane, even though it took quite a feat. Do you know how hard it is to play mind games on someone with no brain? She got exactly what she wanted from Ronda Rousey though and will pay it back at WrestleMania when she breaks the arm and takes the title.
This brings out Charlotte to say Becky is now in Charlotte’s main event. It’s one thing to be hot for six months but Charlotte has been hot for six years. That’s why she was chosen and she’ll get the job done. Becky was chosen because people felt sorry for her, including Rousey. Becky doesn’t buy it and says she’ll see Charlotte at Wrestlemania.
Lucha House Party vs. Jinder Mahal/Singh Brothers
If we just have to. Sunil starts with a dancing wristlock on Lince, who dropkicks him down without much trouble. Metalik comes in for the abrupt commercial and we come back with Kalisto fighting out of a chinlock. The Singhs’ double suplex is countered into a double DDT and the hot(ish) tag brings Metalik back in. Sumir gets caught grabbing the ropes on a sunset flip so Metalik kicks him in the head, setting up Dorado’s shooting star press for the pin at 7:43.
We recap Batista attacking Ric Flair at his birthday party.
From Raw.
Here’s an angry HHH in street clothes to address Batista. This brings out said Batista, with security guarding him. HHH asks if Batista is getting in the ring or standing there as a nose ring model. Batista laughs and says he learned from HHH and Flair over the years so yeah, they’re here for him. He’s getting what he wants one way or another. HHH talks about Batista quitting over the years and promises to run through the guardians of the independent circuit to get to him.
Batista goes into a rant about how he quit to get away from HHH for holding him down so many times. He wants HHH at Wrestlemania and the match is on. That’s what Batista wanted: one more match to end his career on his terms and one more match to end HHH’s career on his terms. HHH says the match is going to be on his terms because it’s going to be No Holds Barred.
That’s the best idea given the circumstances and certainly fits the story that much better. Batista’s explanation for why he wants to face HHH…..well it’s an explanation. It’s not a particularly good one and it’s something we could piece together ourselves, but I’ll take it over us being left to figure it out or Batista saying his words spoke for themselves. The stipulation should help a lot and it gives me more hope for the match.
Overall Rating: C. They did a MUCH better job of balancing the two shows here and covered most of the big stuff (No mention of Kurt Angle’s retirement though?). This felt like a show designed to make you watch Wrestlemania and that’s exactly what it should have been. Good effort this week and that’s a rather nice thing to be able to say for a change.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
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Smackdown
Date: March 12, 2019
Location: Nutter Center, Dayton, Ohio
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton
Now believe it or not, this show is going to mainly be about the McMahons. It’s a Vince and Shane night in this case, with the former being here to address Kofi Kingston and the latter to explain why he attacked the Miz. Maybe that’s why this year’s Wrestlemania build isn’t exactly setting the world on fire. Let’s get to it.
Here are Sunday’s results if you need a recap.
Here’s Shane to open things up and the heel turn seems to have worked. With the Best in the World trophy in the ring, Shane orders the ring announcer to refer to him as the Best in the World, getting angry when it’s not up to his standards. Shane gets right to the point by saying he’s tired of Miz needing him all the time, just like everyone else around here. After pausing for a WE WANT KOFI chant, Shane rants about having to do something for everyone behind the scenes.
That stopped on Sunday when he got to beat Miz up in Miz’s hometown. The reality is that he’s the best in the world because he was born that way, and now he’ll be doing things for himself. Attacking Miz on Sunday so that the last thing he saw was his father’s baked potato face was incredible and that spark isn’t going away. He’s even going to do it again at Wrestlemania, and it’s going to be awesome. This was better than anything Shane has done in a long time and changed absolutely nothing about the fact that probably a dozen people could be better served in this spot.
Aleister Black/Ricochet/Hardys vs. The Bar/Shinsuke Nakamura/Rusev
The seeds of the multi team match begin. Black and Nakamura start with a strike off (I was expecting a spirited debate) before it’s off to Matt in the very old school shirt. That means some shouting without much offense so he hands it off to Jeff to get beaten down by Cesaro. Rusev adds the shoulders in the corner and the chinlock goes on until Jeff jawbreaks his way to freedom.
It’s off to Ricochet to speed things up but Rusev knocks him to the floor and we take a break. Back with Ricochet tagging in Matt to clean house. The yelling clothesline in the corner allows another tag to Jeff for the Twisting Stunner. The Swanton hits Cesaro but everyone makes the save as everything breaks down. Cue the New Day to join the fight as the match is thrown out at 9:52.
Rating: C+. I can go for multi team matches like this and the ending sets up whatever big match they have for Wrestlemania (please not another ladder match). Throw in the Usos and you have a six team match already set, though I’m not sure where that leaves the Revival. Anyway, good while it lasted but the ending was what mattered.
Post match New Day beats up all four teams with Kofi hitting Trouble in Paradise on Nakamura.
We cut to the back where the Usos like what they saw. They warn all the teams about what’s coming and welcome them to the Uso Penitentiary. I’d be fine with just them vs. the Hardys, but why have two teams when you can have far too many?
Here’s Randy Orton for a chat. In 2002, AJ Styles was wrestling for $10 in front of 12 people. In 2004, AJ was in a Bingo hall while Orton was winning the World Title. Orton has been a champion every year while AJ doing nothing. This brings out AJ, who says Orton certainly followed AJ pretty closely over the year despite him not mattering that much.
Orton wouldn’t have made it in his world with a lame pose and a knockoff Diamond Cutter. Randy laughs at the idea of an indy guy talking about someone ripping things off and holds up the Too Sweet sign. AJ says look around, because indy guys like that have taken over. Orton lists off his accomplishments but AJ talks about all the groups that Orton has been part of over the years because Orton has needed a lot of babysitters.
Orton has jumped a lot of people over the years and AJ isn’t going to be the next victim. That’s not cool with Orton, because it may be AJ’s house but Orton is the landlord and rent is due. AJ can make the check out to RKO. AJ points at the sign and says come take the rent. The challenge isn’t accepted….but come on now.
Asuka vs. Sonya Deville
Non-title. They go to the mat to start with Sonya not exactly being able to hang with the champ. Back up and Sonya spears the heck out of her but gets a knee to the face. The sliding knee to the face sends Sonya outside and Asuka baseball slides Mandy by mistake. Mandy pulls the ring skirt down and Sonya slips, allowing Asuka to kick her into the Asuka Lock for the tap at 2:39.
Post match Sonya is mad and won’t leave with Mandy.
The Iiconics declare that un-Iconic and want to know where Sasha Banks and Bayley are. They want the next title shot.
Here’s Becky Lynch for a chat, though first she has to throw away the crutch. She limps to the ring and recaps the entire story, which doesn’t make sense when she sums it up. Becky is glad to be here and happy to be in Wrestlemania after Fastlane, even though it took quite a feat. Do you know how hard it is to play mind games on someone with no brain? She got exactly what she wanted from Ronda Rousey though and will pay it back at Wrestlemania when she breaks the arm and takes the title.
This brings out Charlotte to say Becky is now in Charlotte’s main event. It’s one thing to be hot for six months but Charlotte has been hot for six years. That’s why she was chosen and she’ll get the job done. Becky was chosen because people felt sorry for her, including Rousey. Becky doesn’t buy it and says she’ll see Charlotte at Wrestlemania.
Daniel Bryan and Rowan leave Vince’s office but say it was a private discussion. They’re in a tag match later.
Rey Mysterio/R-Truth vs. Samoa Joe/Andrade
Rey goes after Andrade to start but a blind tag brings in Joe for a hard faceplant as we take an early break. Back with Rey hitting the Code Red on Andrade and making the tag to Truth for the John Cena offense. Everything breaks down and Rey hits a double 619 followed by a frog splash to Andrade. The backsplash breaks it up but Rey victory rolls Joe for the pin at 6:13. Not enough shown to rate, but at least they waited one whole title defense to pin Joe.
Post match Joe snaps and beats up Truth and Andrade.
We look at Alexa Bliss being announced as Wrestlemania host.
Kevin Owens/Mustafa Ali vs. Daniel Bryan/Rowan
Bryan and Owens start fast with an elbow taking Daniel down. Owens says it’s his show and it’s off to Rowan for a slightly slower pace. The slugout goes to Owens so he can bring in Ali to face Bryan. A snap DDT plants Ali and we take a break. Back with Rowan driving Ali ribs first into the turnbuckle, setting up Bryan’s butterfly superplex.
The LeBell Lock sends Ali to the ropes, but Bryan has until five. Ali hits a dropkick for a breather and a Backstabber gets two, despite Owens telling him to come tag. Owens comes in anyway and a double superkick puts Rowan on the floor. Rowan sends Owens into the barricade and comes in off a blind tag, allowing him to claw slam Ali for the pin at 9:20.
Rating: C+. There’s a good chance that Ali not tagging could lead somewhere between himself and Owens, which isn’t the worst idea in the world. Ali sticking around the higher parts of the card is interesting though at some point he needs to win something else to validate being this high up.
Here’s Vince McMahon to talk about offering Kofi Kingston a title shot at Wrestlemania. First though, we look at Kofi’s handicap match at Fastlane in a ruse. Back in the arena, Vince talks about how the fans heard what they wanted to hear because he never said Kofi was getting the shot. Vince says everything is a teachable moment but here’s New Day to interrupt. Big E. isn’t going to learn anything right now because they do everything he tells them to.
They flew halfway around the world to India on Vince’s orders and haven’t ever threatened to leave if they don’t get what they want. Kofi has been here for eleven years and deserves a chance. Vince goes into a rant about how no one deserves anything, including him. Big E. says this is bigger than anything, including Vince’s ego. Vince: “Now there is nothing bigger justifiably than my ego.” Xavier talks about Kofi pinning the WWE Champion multiple times but he’s never gotten a one on one shot.
The WWE Universe demands that Kofi get s chance to compete but Vince isn’t buying it. He wishes Kofi deserved this and while he’s done all kinds of great things in the Royal Rumble and the Elimination Chamber, he’s going to be in the Hall of Fame….as part of New Day instead of on his own merits. Kofi is smart enough to take the glory and have these two younger guys do all the work. Vince wishes Kofi was championship material and earlier today, Daniel Bryan called him a good B+ player.
Kofi finally speaks, saying he doesn’t want a handout. He goes around the world doing what he loves but it’s cost him a lot. Kofi has missed birthdays, weddings and has never even gotten to take his kids trick or treating. He wasn’t there earlier this week when his son lost his first tooth. Through all that, Kofi has never complained, even though Vince has never let someone like him compete for the WWE Title.
What Kofi needs right now is to be told what he needs to do so he can do it. This brings out Orton….and Joe….and the Bar….and Rowan in a gauntlet match next week to get his title match. Everyone comes to the ring and the fight is on with New Day fighting off the villains to end the show. Awesome promos from New Day, who have earned this status over the years but never really used it.
Overall Rating: B. The promo at the end helps carry this but the best thing about the show, as always, is how it feels focused. There’s nothing on here where I wonder why they’re doing this or where I feel like it’s a waste of time. You can see a lot of the matches being built for Wrestlemania, though I’m not wild on some of the directions they’re taking. At least the card is taking shape, even if it’s one with a lot of people being packed onto a show when they shouldn’t be. Rather good show tonight, with the stories carrying things.
Results
Aleister Black/Ricochet/Hardys vs. The Bar/Shinsuke Nakamura/Rusev went to a no contest when New Day interfered
Asuka b. Sonya Deville – Asuka Lock
Rey Mysterio/R-Truth b. Samoa Joe/Andrade – Victory roll to Joe
Daniel Bryan/Rowan b. Mustafa Ali/Kevin Owens – Claw slam to Ali
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Since it’s Fastlane and WWE doesn’t care, here’s a bunch of stuff at once.
https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/kbs-review-news-fastlane-week-edition/