Monday Nitro – February 19, 2001: One More Funeral

Monday Nitro #278
Date: February 19, 2001
Location: Von Braun Civic Center, Huntsville, Alabama
Commentators: Scott Hudson, Tony Schiavone

At this point, I can’t imagine they’ll ever leave the southeast again. We’re past SuperBrawl and as is far too often the case with pay per views, not a lot happened. Scott Steiner retired Kevin Nash which I’m sure means he won’t be back whatsoever. We’ve got less than four weeks until Greed so this is the final time we’ll start the build to a pay per view. Let’s get to it.

We open with the pay per view recap.

There’s some exclusive footage of Nash walking out and driving away from the arena last night. This is far too somber for someone who spent years trying to take over the company.

In the arena, there’s a Kevin Nash RIP screen up and here are some people carrying a casket. After they get to the ring, the Magnificent Seven come out in suits (with titles of course) as it’s time for a funeral. Flair says we’re here tonight to bid farewell to a man who walked as a giant amidst titans. Nash was a once in a lifetime athlete and now his career has come to an end because the Magnificent Seven struck last night.

Now there’s no one to stand against them at all because no one can handle Scott Steiner. Scott says they’ll do whatever it takes to succeed because he’s the man making history. They’re heels in case they haven’t spelled it out well enough for you. We get the same list of people that Scott has destroyed and sent to the hospital but apparently they’re all scared to come back. As Steiner talks about each victim, the RIP graphic changes appropriately. Scott was willing to let Nash live out the rest of his life at a nice retirement home but then Nash put his hands on the freak.

Now there’s one man left for Scott to go after and he’s going to show us who that is. The casket is opened and it’s Kanyon dressed as Diamond Dallas Page. Tonight Buff is going to beat up Cat, Jarrett is going to take out Dustin Rhodes and Kanyon can hurt Page but make sure to leave Scott a little piece. Cue Page through the crowd to say he’ll take care of Kanyon tonight and then get his hands on Steiner at Greed.

Miss Jones congratulates Cat for becoming Commissioner again. To celebrate, Cat makes the Cruiserweight Tag Team Titles and the tournament to crown the first champions starts next week. Well they might as well give the three teams something to fight over to make it seem like they’re getting somewhere.

Jamie Knoble vs. Shannon Moore

Evan Karagias is here with Knoble. They start fast with some quick headscissors until Shannon misses a charge in the corner. Jamie gets two off a northern lights suplex as the announcers actually talk about the match for a change of pace. A running leg lariat in the corner staggers Jamie and knocks him out to the floor for a big flip dive. Shannon dropkicks him into Evan, who is knocked into the steps. Like almost any wrestler would, Evan blames Knoble and decks him from behind, allowing Shannon to hit Bottoms Up for the pin.

Rating: C. More of the same here but at least they might be mixing up the teams a little bit. I can go for the idea of some new teams going into the tournament but it would be nice if they had some new talent instead of the same six guys fighting over and over again. Shannon has been growing on me in the last few weeks and his ring work has been making him stand out, which says a lot given who he has around him.

Konnan and Kidman are ready to take out Animal and Chavo tonight. They don’t want Road Warrior Animal style though. Instead let’s do it Filthy Animals style.

Mike Awesome vs. Bryan Clarke

Fallout from Awesome dressing up like Clarke last night, though I thought Clarke was still injured. They slug it out to start with Clarke getting the better of it, though he keeps looking over his shoulder. As you would expect, Elix Skipper runs in but gets slammed down with ease. Lance Storm comes in as well and that’s enough for the DQ.

Team Canada beats Bryan down until Brian Adams comes out for the save.

After a break, Team Canada is still in the ring when Cat and Miss Jones (in a completely different outfit than earlier) come out. It’s time for Storm to pay for his crimes as Commissioner so Cat is giving him a match. If Storm doesn’t fight, he can go make pancakes in Canada because he’ll be fired.

Kid Romeo is coming. Or coming back as he was around a little over a year ago.

Chavo Guerrero Jr./Animal vs. Konnan/Billy Kidman

Animal and Konnan start fighting in the back after Chavo has come to the ring. Kidman, in a black shirt for a change, runs in from behind to jump Chavo and we take a break with no bell. We come back to see Chavo and Kidman brawling with referees not being able to break it up. Konnan and Animal come down the ramp and the match actually starts with Chavo hitting a tornado DDT on Kidman.

I’m assuming the match started somewhere during the break as Konnan does Chris Jericho’s springboard dropkick to knock Chavo off the apron. Things settle down with Kidman elbowing Chavo in the face and handing it off to Konnan for a reverse standing Figure Four with both arms tied up. That’s certainly different. Animal makes a save because he’s Animal and doesn’t do a lot of wrestling, allowing Chavo to take over in the corner.

Konnan gets in his rolling lariat so Kidman can come back in. Everything breaks down and some double teaming puts Animal on the floor and Konnan completely botches his faceplant on Chavo. You can hear the crowd going awkwardly silent as they seem stunned that Konnan can’t sit down properly. The big guys fight on the floor as Rey Mysterio runs in for a What’s Up legdrop to Chavo, setting up the Kid Crusher to give Kidman the pin.

Rating: C. Chavo continues to look good in the ring and putting him in there with Kidman is only going to produce even more great stuff. I wasn’t wild on Rey coming in for the cheating as it takes some of the steam out of Kidman’s win, as well as doesn’t fit someone like Rey in general. Still though, not a bad match here with Konnan actually working hard to make up for Animal not even trying.

In case you thought something of Kidman there, Animal powerbombs him into oblivion. Animal never was legally in the match which keeps making me wonder why he has this spot. Was Team Canada so important that they couldn’t put Mike Awesome in his same spot?

Buff Bagwell vs. The Cat

Before the match, Cat offers Bagwell a chance to leave Flair’s team and come back to the good side. Bagwell considers it before hitting Cat in the face to take over. Cat comes back with some chops to the throat but gets caught in a swinging neckbreaker for two. It’s already off to the chinlock but Buff stops to strut instead. We hit the second chinlock and Cat looks like he’s nodded off.

Some clotheslines cut off the comeback and it’s BACK TO THE CHINLOCK. We’re not even five minutes in and it’s already the third chinlock. At what point do you just realize Buff has nothing else to offer? Buff dives into raised feet and it’s time for some kicks. Cue Kanyon so Miss Jones gets on the apron, only to allow Buff to get in the double arm DDT (with Cat landing on his hands). The Blockbuster puts Cat away for the pin.

Rating: D-. Again: five minutes and three chinlocks. Bagwell gets lazier and lazier every single time he’s in the ring but at least he’s had some good matches before. I don’t ever remember Cat doing anything above bad. If that chinlock is the best they can do, cut this off and put on a Norman the Lunatic match instead as you might get some chuckles as a result.

Jones gets a Kanyon Cutter post match. Cat fights them off but I can’t imagine we’ll be seeing Jones again, which is a shame.

Post break Jones is taken away in an ambulance.

US Title: Rick Steiner vs. Lash Leroux

Steiner is defending and quickly takes Lash outside for a whip into the barricade. This looks like one of those matches where Rick seems more ticked off than usual. A Steiner Line almost takes Lash’s head off as the fans accurately call this boring. Steiner throws him down with a release German suplex before ripping at his face. Another Steiner Line and three Steiner Drivers complete Lash’s destruction.

Rating: F. Yes we get it. Rick Steiner is the most amazingly tough wrestler of all time and we’re supposed to be interested in seeing him beat people up really hard. For some reason he’s the US Champion despite not drawing a dime in years and barely associating with his brother, which would be almost the only possible way for people to be interested in him.

Lash is checked out by medics post break.

Scott Steiner gives Kanyon his brass knuckles to use on Page later. Page isn’t making it to Thunder.

Hugh Morrus wants to fight Rick Steiner for personal revenge but his match with Storm tonight is about pleasure.

Lance Storm vs. Hugh Morrus

Team Canada is barred from ringside. Storm says he doesn’t care who he’s fighting tonight because he was born to wrestle. Morrus can’t get him into a test of strength to start so the referee says they have 6:30. They trade chops until Morrus knocks him outside with a clothesline. Back in and a fall away slam looks to set up No Laughing Matter, only to have Storm take him down and possibly hurt the knees.

Morrus gets back up and catapults Storm into the buckle but can’t follow up. A trip to the floor lets Morrus take over again and he splashes Storm in the corner for good measure. Storm superkicks him down and grabs the Mapleleaf, only to get slammed and hit with No Laughing Matter for the pin.

Rating: D+. The feud had lost any of its heat at this point but it was nice to see them actually stick with Morrus as a big deal who can win matches on his own for a change. Storm is in a really weird place at the moment as he was Commissioner for six days but is now losing most of his matches without putting up much of a fight. It could have been a worse match but Morrus winning made more sense.

Here’s Jeff Jarrett dressed as Dusty Rhodes (including a very stuffed shirt and jeans) for a bad comedy impression. Jeff, in a borderline good Dusty, talks about how he’s here to save WCW and says no one can beat Dustin when his daddy is in his corner. Unfortunately there’s no way he can beat the Chosen One because Dustin (the fruit of his loins, which Jarrett says about ten times) just isn’t good enough.

Jarrett calls in some young wrestlers for an exhibition, which means slow motion elbows. Jeff falls down and can’t get up as the announcers treat this as some horrible idea. One of the guys gets Shattered Dreams until Dustin comes out, only to have Rick Steiner follow and beat Dustin down. Jeff guitars him and the villains stand tall. This went on and on and wasn’t that funny, mainly because it’s about Dusty Rhodes in 2001.

The announcers pay tribute to Dale Earnhardt, who passed away the day before.

Kanyon vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Page goes right after him to start and knocks Kanyon outside, meaning it’s time for a brawl in the crowd. That only leads to some brawling before they get inside again with Kanyon bailing to the corner to avoid a Diamond Cutter. Kanyon comes back with a middle rope faceplant for two and a Russian legsweep gets the same. Page is sent into the corner for a middle rope Fameasser and it’s off to the chinlock. The fans chant for Page in one of the few genuine reactions of the night.

Page fights up and gets a belly to back suplex to put both guys down for some of the loudest spot calling I’ve heard in a long time. The discus lariat drops Kanyon but he’s still able to get out of the Diamond Cutter. The Kanyon Cutter gets two and the Positively Page book (which clearly has a brick inside) gets the same. Kanyon loads up the knuckles but walks into the Diamond Cutter for the pin.

Rating: C+. I know Page doesn’t have the best reputation around this time but he’s by far and away the most consistent main event star of this last year. He just has good matches with anyone you put him out there against and that’s so valuable to have. Above all else though the fans still care about him and that’s more important than almost anything anyone can do in the ring.

Post match Scott Steiner leads the troops out but Page is smart enough to bail into the crowd to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. That middle portion is the usual death but there was enough good stuff in here to easily carry things for a week. Greed has some potential but the big story would seem to be who comes after Page to challenge Scott for the title. The announcers were talking about the Cat and Dustin Rhodes, who are somehow two of the top three faces in the company at this point. This place needs star power and it needs it in a hurry. I still think Sean O’Haire could have been something but he’s just too young at this point. Maybe in fifteen years or so.

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Thunder – January 31, 2001: I Think I Feel A Stupid Plan Coming On

Thunder
Date: January 31, 2001
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone

I’m running out of things to say about these intros. We have less than two months to go in this company and it’s most likely a skippable B-show with a main event between two midcarders who don’t have an interesting feud. Or maybe a tag match with two members of a heel stable against a semi-regular tag team. I would offer a suggestion of a great cruiserweight match with two people being elevated to new heights but that’s not the WCW way. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Monday’s events, including a big focus on the return of the Rhodes Family.

Cat is willing to give Rick Steiner a US Title shot at SuperBrawl, provided Ric Flair doesn’t find out about it. Good thing he’s just the CEO and doesn’t watch the show or look at the pay per view card. It’s always cool to see wrestlers act like a fan.

Opening sequence.

Billy Kidman vs. Shane Helms

Helms goes straight at him to start until charging into a raised boot in the corner. Kidman tries a wheelbarrow suplex but gets flipped out to the floor, allowing Shane to hit a good looking dive off the top. They head into the crowd with Kidman hitting a quick dive off the barricade before taking Shane back inside. Helms grabs a fireman’s carry into a facebuster before a running neckbreaker drops Kidman again.

A middle rope fist drop ala Jerry Lawler gets two for Shane and for some reason Kidman reaches out under the bottom rope for a tag. Helms’ front facelock slows things down a bit and a chinlock makes it even worse. Back up and Kidman grabs a belly to back suplex into a side slam for two.

In a change of pace, Shane grabs a double underhook and pulls back on the arms for a submission attempt. The hold is broken with Kidman scoring off a dropkick and backdrop for two. Kidman’s superplex is broken up though and Shane gets two off a top rope sunset flip (that’s always cool looking). The Kid Crusher is countered into the Vertebreaker but Kidman flips out of that as well. He takes Shane into the corner where Shane flips out again, setting up the Vertebreaker for the big upset.

Rating: B. As usual the cruiserweights are just awesome around this time and it almost never gets boring watching them. I’ve been digging the heck out of Chavo lately but it’s really time for someone to take the title off of him and turn the belt into something more valuable. Helms is the best bet and I’m almost sure this is the launching pad for him to move up to the title scene.

Here are Scott Steiner and Midajah with the champ insulting everyone he can think of but focusing on Dustin Rhodes, who was stupid for not taking the sure thing on Monday. Steiner even rips up Dustin’s contract, which is at least better than eating it. Cue Kronik to ask about a fight but Totally Buff jump them from behind. Rick Steiner tries to make the save but gets guitared by Jeff Jarrett. Kronik takes the real beating and I’m sure this means Luger/Bagwell vs. Kronik for the third time this month on Thunder.

Post break, Flair makes Jarrett vs. Rick Steiner and Totally Buff vs. Kronik.

Ron Harris vs. Lash Leroux

Don has a doctor’s note but the referee has a solution to prevent more twin magic (which implies that someone actually watches these matches, which makes me skeptical): drawing an X on Ron’s hand with a marker…..which the Harrises take away before the bell rings. Ron pounds Lash with the intensity you’ve come to expect from a Harris Brother match.

Lash quickly dropkicks him to the floor and it’s already time for the switch as Don throws the marker back in with the referee thinking it fell out of his pocket. Well to be fair the referees are often rather stupid so play it up a bit. Don gives him the H Bomb for the pin. Now why do I have a feeling no one is going to watch this and say, suspend Don from ringside?

Some guy laughs at Kwee Wee and tells him to crawl back into the closet he crawled out of.

Chavo Guerrero says he needs a better challenger than Rey Mysterio. As he’s talking, Hugh Morrus sneaks in and jumps Wall.

Norman Smiley wants to make sure Glacier will have his back and is given an affirmative.

Chuck Palumbo and Sean O’Haire think Mark Jindrak and Shawn Stasiak are just jealous of the Tag Team Titles.

Ric Flair gives Mike Sanders a match with Konnan and tells him to come up with something dirty.

Norman Smiley vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

There’s no Glacier to start so Norman is even more freaked out than usual. Norman makes the mistake of trying to work on Bigelow’s arm but actually takes him down. Unfortunately there’s not much of a way around Bigelow’s power as he shoves Norman to the floor, allowing him to look around for Glacier. Back in and the beating continues as Glacier comes out, just in time to see Norman take Greetings From Asbury Park for the pin.

Post match and post Bigelow leaving, Glacier says he’ll always have Norman’s back.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Rick Steiner

Jeff wants the countout like he got over Page on Monday but Steiner is, you know, here. Steiner takes it to the floor to avoid having to wrestle, only to have Shane Douglas come out in a hurry. The chain shot hits Jeff by mistake and Steiner gets in a bad looking Death Valley Driver for the fast pin.

Kwee Wee vs. Scotty O

Scotty is a Power Plant guy who would wind up in OVW for a long time and the person who laughed at Kwee Wee earlier. Kwee Wee slaps him in the face and it’s Angry Alan time with something like Dalton Castle’s Bang-A-Rang planting Scotty. A jawbreaker doesn’t get Scotty out of trouble as Kwee Wee folds him in half with a belly to back. Some hard shots to the head and a face plant set up a German suplex as this is a total squash. A piledriver puts Scotty away.

Rating: D. Kwee Wee continues to be an interesting “what if” case as he certainly had some in ring abilities and good charisma but he’s stuck with one of the gimmicks that are just going to cripple your career. Even a regular haircut and dark tights would have done him a world of good but there was no way this was ever going to be taken seriously.

Sean O’Haire/Chuck Palumbo vs. Mamalukes

Non-title. Palumbo and Vito, in street clothes instead of his gear, get things going before Johnny comes in for a quick double team to take over. A double spinebuster plants Sean for two with Palumbo making the save. Vito grabs a swinging neckbreaker followed by a gorilla press from Johnny to send O’Haire flying but he hot shots the Bull to take over for the first time. It really is amazing what happens when you get rid of Jindrak and Stasiak and let the two more talented wrestlers represent the team.

O’Haire doesn’t quite jump all the way over Palumbo as he tries to land on Johnny’s back (more on Palumbo’s head) but it looked good in theory. Everything breaks down and it’s O’Haire elbowing Johnny in the face on the floor. The Jungle Kick to Vito sets up the Seanton Bomb for the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here as the Mamalukes are really gelling as the jobbers to the stars tag team. There’s just enough there that you could buy them pulling off an upset and making this non-title made it even more possible. O’Haire and Palumbo need more seasoning as a team but you can see the chemistry there.

Post match Jindrak and Stasiak run in and want a title shot. The champs agree and get beaten down.

Scott Steiner, Jarrett and Flair are off to jail, presumably to annoy Page.

Sanders gives Reno his match against Konnan and tells him to tap out in a hurry. I think I feel a stupid plan coming on.

Totally Buff say they beat Goldberg and he beat Kronik so they can beat Kronik. You know who else beat Kronik? YOU TWO, YOU PISTACHIO HEADS!

Konnan vs. Reno

Konnan calls him Reno Riggins in a joke that probably goes over 99% of the fans’ heads. They trade arm holds to start but Konnan does a nice roll over into a quickly broken ankle lock. The rolling lariat drops Reno and something like Kofi Kingston’s SOS gets two. Konnan grabs the Tequila Sunrise and Reno taps before the hold is on.

Sanders comes out to say things aren’t always what they seem. Reno hits a quick Roll of the Dice. Wait so they just gave up a clean submission for the sake of hitting a move after the match? Indeed, that was a stupid plan.

Totally Buff vs. Kronik

For the third time this month. Bagwell takes the heel beating you would expect him to take to start off with Kronik hitting all of their standard power moves, including a big gorilla press from Adams. He always was good at that. Luger comes in for an elbow to Clark’s jaw but a tag back to Adams breaks everything down. Buff saves Lex from High Times, only to have Animal blast Clark with a chair so Adams can take the Blockbuster for the fast pin.

Rating: D. And you thought the Usos vs. the Club was overdone. This is another match that I never see again but in this case I never wanted to see it in the first place. Animal interfering wasn’t shocking and it keeps him from falling asleep in his soup for another week. Bad match of course, but I do like Adams’ press slams.

Flair and company arrive at the jail but Page made bail an hour ago. Ok pause for a second. WCW acknowledges that Nitro and Thunder are taped on the same nights. Now did Page get arrested on Monday and make bail Wednesday or did he get arrested and make bail less than three hours later? Anyway they go into Page’s cell for no apparent reason and find a letter he’s left them to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. There’s some good stuff here and the wrestling is enough to carry it over a lot of the really uninteresting storyline stuff but the show still doesn’t work that well. There’s only so much you can do when your main story is so all over the place and Page is leaving letters in prison while Nash is just not here. If they threw someone younger into the main event scene it might be ok but as it stands they’re destroying the other good stuff they having going on.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro – January 23, 2001: Same Old, Same Really Old

Monday Nitro #274
Date: January 23, 2001
Location: Lawrence Joel Memorial Coliseum, Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Commentators: Scott Hudson, Tony Schiavone

We’re on a Tuesday this week as TNT has stopped pretending that Nitro is the ratings juggernaut it was back in the day. It’s the new era of WCW (the latest one that is) with Ric Flair in charge and evil for reasons that haven’t yet been and won’t be explained because WCW. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the pay per view and last week’s show, which night as well have Nash going TOO SWEET to make it feel more NWOesque.

Last week, the heel stable was eating chicken wings and breaking the bones in time with Sid breaking his leg. Ok that’s kind of awesome.

Tony and Scott say WCW has new owners and it’s not clear where things are going.

Here are Flair, Animal, Luger and Bagwell to get things going. Flair gets right to the point and says that Steiner, who isn’t here yet, deserves a top level opponent for SuperBrawl. That makes Flair think of one name and that would be….Alex Wright. Alex actually comes out as the heels can’t keep straight faces, only to have Kevin Nash cut him off. Wright yells (and rightfully so) and is promptly powerbombed through the stage.

Nash declares himself #1 contender with Cat coming out to say that’s correct. Flair says not so fast because Nash has to beat Bagwell first and Luger will be guest referee. Not so fast either as Luger has to face Diamond Dallas Page for the right to be guest referee in the main event #1 contenders match (my head hurts). Oh and Buff or Nash can’t interfere, because other wrestlers not being allowed to interfere is a special rule.

Mike Sanders gives Chavo Guerrero a pep talk and tells him to watch the next match closely. The Wall is here too and promises to end the legend of the Misfits tonight.

Flair tells Jarrett and Steiner what’s going on. Was there any reason to not have them be there during the talking segment?

Michael Modest vs. Christopher Daniels

Modest had one match on Nitro in March 2000 and hasn’t been seen since. Daniels is 29 here (in his mid-20s according to Tony) because he’s never been a young wrestler in his life. He does however have hair here which is quite jarring. Daniels punches away to start but gets taken down with some wristlocks that have Modest dropping to the mat as he twists. Daniels botches a springboard and almost lands on his head allowing Modest to crank on the arm a bit more.

Modest takes a kick to the shoulder which puts Daniels on the mat for reasons that aren’t clear. They head outside with Modest being sent into the barricade and eating a dropkick through the ropes, followed by a slingshot splash to the floor. Daniels seems to have shaken off whatever was wrong with him at the start. Back in and Daniels hits a slingshot moonsault (called split legged by Hudson despite the fact that Daniels’ legs were in fact unsplit) for two before getting caught in a dragon suplex for two of his own.

Daniels pops back up to the top but Modest runs across the ring and does a handstand into a hurricanrana to bring him right back down. Modest gets dropped again though and the BME gets two, only to have Modest get the same off something like White Noise. A second attempt is countered into a modified Angel’s Wings (Daniels flipped Modest onto his back instead of his face) for two more. Modest cross bodies him out to the floor and here’s Scott Steiner to destroy them both for a no contest.

Rating: C+. It was nice while it lasted but why bother letting either guy go anywhere when you can use them as cannon fodder for WCW? This would be the last appearance in WCW for both guys but at least they were able to be in the ring for a bit before Steiner got to treat them like the most worthless goons this side of The Goon. At least let someone win the match before the run-in.

Steiner uses the pipe to break both their legs before saying he broke Sid’s leg on purpose. They’ll be laying next to Sid and Nash is going to be added to the list soon.

Here are Kwee Wee and Paisley with something to say. He’s ticked off about now being part of Flair’s team and it’s clear that he’s tough enough after the beating from Rick Steiner on Monday. Kwee Wee issues a challenge to anyone in this building, including fans. For some reason he goes after a security guard and beats him down until other guards break it up. As usual this would work better minus the overly gelled hair and glitter.

Team Canada comes out with Lance Storm challenging Konnan to a one on one match with the winner being the official winner of the war between the Canadians and the Filthy Animals. Konnan comes out to accept in his own unique way.

Lance Storm vs. Konnan

They hit the mat to start where Konnan is completely out of his league. Storm grabs the Maple Leaf but gets kicked in the face for a break. Konnan hits the rolling lariat as everyone else brawls on the floor, as they should be. The faceplant is broken up and an Irish whip transitions into the Maple Leaf for the tap out in less than two minutes. Some war, but midcards never meant anything under Bischoff’s watch.

Shane Douglas wants on the team and Luger says he’s in if he can beat the Cat.

General Rection looks a little crazy as Gene asks him about everything the former Misfits have been going through lately. Lash says he’ll have Rection’s back until the end. Rection says it wasn’t supposed to be like this and asks for Lash’s shirt. He’s honorably discharged from the team and it’s time to return to their roots. Rection takes off his shirt and says Hugh Morrus is back. Uh, yay.

Lex Luger vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Winner gets to referee the #1 contenders main event. Luger stalls to start so Page knocks him out to the floor so he can stall while looking up at the ring. Back in and Luger hits an atomic drop and belly to back, burning up half of his arsenal in a few seconds. A shoulder sends Page into the corner and it’s time to stomp a lot. Page crotches him against the post and sends Luger head first into the buckle several times. The referee gets bumped so here’s Jarrett with the guitar to set up the Torture Rack for the Luger win.

Rating: D. I could go with this a little bit more if they didn’t set all this up an hour ago for a payoff half an hour from now. You could pencil Jarrett’s interference in here as soon as they said Bagwell and Nash couldn’t interfere. Again: we’ve reached the point where interference being banned is a special stipulation. How did that happen?

Mamalukes vs. Shawn Stasiak/Mark Jindrak

The Thrillers jump Johnny at the bell so he has to kick Stasiak’s head off for a breather. It’s off to Vito who helps with a double belly to back suplex on Shawn. The Mamalukes take over on Jindrak as well, including a double back elbow for two. Stasiak comes in again and misses a charge in the corner as this is completely one sided so far.

Shawn finally gets in a jumping back elbow to the jaw before bringing in Jindrak for one off a moonsault. Vito takes a double elbow of his own, which is finally enough for Johnny to come in without a tag as everything breaks down. Vito kicks Stasiak and Jindrak clotheslines Johnny for two each, only to have the rest of the Thrillers come in for the weak DQ.

Rating: D+. As illogical as it was for the Thrillers to come in there, you kind of had to know that was going to be the ending. That’s how most matches end around here these days because so many people are in some kind of a faction. The Mamalukes continue to be perfectly acceptable jobbers to the stars and that’s all they need to be.

Stasiak and Jindrak aren’t happy that they just lost a match due to interference. My goodness that actually makes sense.

Post break the Thrillers are still arguing with Sanders not being able to calm them down. Flair pulls Sanders off to the side and tells him to outsmart the rest of the team.

Shane Douglas vs. The Cat

If Shane wins he’s on the team. We get the usual Shane insults to the crowd to start because that’s his big thing. That’s not to say it doesn’t work well enough though. Cat isn’t ready to go yet as he has to make Jarrett vs. Page for SuperBrawl. He also wants to make this for the US Title but Flair comes on screen to say it’s non-title. Instead, the Commissioner’s job is on the line.

Douglas jumps him from behind to start and Flair makes it No DQ to insure a messy ending. Something like a bridging Indian Deathlock has Cat in trouble before a poke to the eye cuts him off again. Shane gets slammed off the top and sent into the buckle ten times as the match warps back to 1987. Cat keeps up the Hogan offense with ten right hands to the head in the corner, only to get poked in the eye again. Cue Mike Sanders followed by the Thrillers to take Cat out but Rick Steiner makes the save, allowing Cat to superkick a chain out of Douglas’ hand for the pin to keep his job.

Rating: D. Somehow that wasn’t as messy as I was expecting it to be, which is saying a lot. Keeping Cat short like this (under five minutes) is the right idea and the match could have been a lot worse. If nothing else Cat is great proof of how charisma is far more important than in ring abilities and almost always will be.

Post match Cat does his dancing and Rick actually joins him for a bizarrely entertaining visual.

Hugh Morrus/Lash Leroux vs. A-Wall/Chavo Guerrero Jr.

It’s a brawl to start and no one can stop Wall (or A-Wall as he’s still being called here, even though he’s out of the team) until Morrus grabs a slam, only to tag off to Leroux by mistake. Morrus says that was just a high five and Wall uses the distraction to make the tag off to Chavo. Wall chokes Lash in the corner a bit as Morrus tries to get in as this breaks down into a more standard tag match.

Lash gets in a quick tilt-a-whirl slam and scores with a clothesline for two, only to get caught in a Gory Special for a few seconds. Back up and Chavo accidentally hits Wall because you have to have heel miscommunication. Chavo doesn’t seem to mind and dropkicks Lash for two with Morrus coming in to break it up. Wall goes after Morrus to start a brawl, allowing Chavo to grab a rollup on Lash for the pin.

Rating: C-. This worked better than it probably should have but above all else it was a good sign that Chavo wound up getting the pin instead of having another champion get beat. Morrus is still being treated as a big deal and it’s nice to be able to go with the stupid name instead of the really stupid name. Lash still isn’t all that great in the ring and is really just a guy in wrestling gear but he could be worse.

Morrus beats Chavo up post match. Sore loser.

Kevin Nash vs. Buff Bagwell

Lex Luger is guest referee and if Nash wins he gets the title shot at SuperBrawl. Totally Buff wastes some time as Luger promises to call it right down the middle. Nash starts with a knee to the well toned abs and chokes in the corner with the boot, drawing some harsh criticism from Luger. Thankfully the whole fair referee thing doesn’t last long as Luger grabs Nash’s foot so Buff can crotch him on the way back inside. However, Lex counts very slowly for Bagwell with Nash kicking out before one, causing Bagwell to yell at Luger.

Bagwell’s chinlock keeps things so slow that it’s Nash being the one on his feet to speed things up with a side slam. Of course it’s another slow cover and Snake Eyes gets the same speed, only to have Luger cut off the count at two instead of screwing around with the pretext. It’s time for a chair with Luger holding it up so Bagwell can knock it into Kevin’s head.

The Blockbuster doesn’t work though as Nash ducks to send them crashing into each other. Of course this is treated as some heroic comeback because WCW announcers are easily entertained. Cue Diamond Dallas Page to hit the Diamond Cutter on Luger. Nash gets up and Jackknifes Bagwell to set up the Austin/McMahon count with Nash grabbing the unconscious Luger’s hand to count the pin.

Rating: D-. This was every crooked referee match you’ve ever seen because there isn’t much you can do to change this gimmick. Nash was obviously getting the title shot and somehow this was the better choice than Nash vs. Luger with Bagwell as the referee. Unfortunately Luger and Bagwell are still some of the top heels in the company and this is about as high speed as they’re going to be able to go.

Post match Scott Steiner, Kronik, Animal and Jarrett come out for the big brawl to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. So to recap, this whole show took two hours to set up Steiner vs. Nash at SuperBrawl. One of the matches was to set up a guest referee for a match to establish Nash as the #1 contender. Just like back in the NWO days, there’s the issue of having so much of the show revolve around that one story, which isn’t very good in the first place. There are other stories on the show to help things out a bit but a lot of them are tied into the Flair super stable stuff in some way. It’s another show full of bad wrestling and focused around one tired story, which is an idea that has barely ever worked but WCW kept doing it.

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Thunder – November 8, 2000: Get To Mayhem Already

Thunder
Date: November 8, 2000
Location: United Center, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Stevie Ray

We’re still rolling towards Mayhem and things are starting to get a bit better. The shows still aren’t great but they’re coherent and you can see where they want to go for the most part. I’ll take that over Russo’s insanity as now I kind of want to see where things are going instead of waiting on the next big surprise. Let’s get to it.

Booker goes to see Mike Sanders and asks for a match with Shawn Stasiak tonight. Instead he’ll get to defend the title against Mike Awesome, which earns Sanders a quick threat.

Opening sequence.

Evan Karagias vs. Jamie Noble

Apparently Evan is a spoiled celebrity now. The fans don’t appreciate a pair of cruiserweights slugging it out so Jamie sends him to the floor and dives off the apron to take Evan down. Back in and Jamie drops a leg to set up what looks like a moonsault, only to get crotched for his efforts. That means it’s time for some posing before Evan almost drops him on his head in a gorilla press. I know Evan is trying to act strong but that doesn’t mean he can throw people around.

Thankfully Jamie rolls into a sunset flip, only to get powerbombed for two. A World’s Strongest Slam looks to set up a superplex but Jamie shoves him down and drops a top rope legdrop for a near fall of his own. Jamie fights back with chops and a good looking dropkick before missing a charge to the outside. Cue 3 Count to beat down Evan, giving Jamie the easy pin. As usual, WCW referee prove themselves to be such brilliant minds.

Rating: D+. Evan wasn’t the best worker in the world to start and now they’re having him do stuff he isn’t exactly ready to do yet. Jamie is talented enough to do a lot in WCW, though of course I can’t imagine they’ll actually go anywhere with him other than just having the same matches over and over. Splitting the two teams into three was a nice short term concept but as usual it didn’t have anywhere to go.

Jamie runs 3 Count off. Music hater.

The Boogie Knights don’t like Konnan but Gene doesn’t like Disco’s hat.

Hardcore Title: Reno vs. Crowbar

Reno is defending. Thankfully Crowbar drops his 70s clothes on the way to the ring since he barely interacts with Awesome anymore. Reno starts with some kendo stick shots before opting for trashcan shots to the head. He’s nothing if not versatile. Crowbar comes back like it’s nothing (because it pretty much was) and splashes a chair onto the champ, meaning it’s time for a ladder. To be fair the match is like a minute and a half old so the next step much be a ladder. A splash and a moonsault onto the ladder onto Reno don’t even get two so it’s time for more chopping.

The ladder is set up in the corner but Reno’s suplex is left a good bit short and Crowbar barely makes contact. You had to see something like this coming eventually. Roll the Dice is broken up so Reno settles for a t-bone suplex, only to get dropkicked out to the floor so Crowbar can drop a ladder onto him for a painful crash. Crowbar puts him on a chair on the floor for a clothesline off the apron and they fight up the aisle with Reno suplexing him near the entrance. A quick trip to the back goes nowhere so here’s Vito to kick Reno off the stage, setting up Crowbar’s splash for the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. Good enough for a hardcore match here and it’s nice to see Crowbar finally getting some recognition for how talented he really is. Unfortunately the division barely exists and there’s no reason to believe that this is going to lead anywhere for Crowbar. There were some good spots here too and that’s as much as you’re going to get in a match like this.

Mike Awesome and the Misfits celebrate with the new champion.

Konnan vs. Disco Inferno

Kidman is on commentary as Konnan jumps Disco at the bell. An armbar doesn’t get Konnan anywhere and it’s Disco stomping away in the corner. Disco and the referee (Scott Armstrong, oh he of the hitch in the count) get in an argument over choking, which means we get another discussion of Road Dogg. Konnan makes a quick comeback but the Animals ave to take out Wright. The distraction lets Konnan get in a quick X Factor for the pin.

Mike Awesome doesn’t think much of Booker and/or Scott Steiner.

Now we get a sitdown interview at what looks like a restaurant (minus food of course) with Mark Madden talking to the Cat, with Ms. Jones who seems to be there to give us something to look at. They manage to stay civil for all of two seconds before Cat calls him greasy. I would say just like the food but again this is a restaurant without actual food.

Cat keeps going with something about wanting to be anti-establishment and how much he wants to hurt Madden. He’s also not a fan of Ric Flair being around forever and then gets into a stupid discussion of Battledome. Yes that’s still a thing and they’re really still doing it for reasons that I’ll never understand. Oh and he’ll fight Shane Douglas anytime. The thing just kind of ends after A LOT of yelling at Madden with Cat really just going insane instead of really sounding coherent or having a point, aside from maybe Battledome.

Steiner goes into Sanders’ office and asks if he can get anger management courses to avoid losing his title shot. That’s rather out of character for him so he grabs Mike by the throat and threatens to kill him if this doesn’t work. That’s more like it.

Mayhem ad.

Here’s David Flair to accuse Rey Mysterio of being the father. Why in the world is this still a thing, especially since Stacy hasn’t been on TV in weeks? Rey says he isn’t the father but he’ll be David’s daddy tonight. Uh, isn’t David’s daddy already a character on the show?

Rey Mysterio vs. David Flair

Rey starts fast with a springboard splash for two but David, in street clothes, takes it outside for a chop against the barricade. The commentary focuses on Battledome of course as Tygress knocks David out with a hard forearm, setting up back to back Bronco Busters on David. A springboard legdrop to the back of the head puts David away with ease.

Shawn Stasiak vs. Kevin Nash

Not so fast of course because Stasiak brings out Kronik for some backup. Sanders advises Kronik to head to the back because this isn’t worth losing their pay over. They do indeed leave….and the Thrillers turn on Nash for the big beatdown. So Nash is a face? Again? And forget the whole Stasiak face turn I guess? Booker comes in for the save for no real logical reason.

Nash is checked out by the trainers.

Scott Steiner video.

Luger and Bigelow seem to be in cahoots for the main event tonight. Thanks for clearing that up for us WCW.

Lance Storm vs. Meng

Storm isn’t happy with Meng’s job against Sgt. AWALL last week, which made it even more clear that if you want something done right, hire a Canadian. Kwee Wee and Paisley come out with Meng to continue one of the most confusing pairings in a long time. Naturally the two of them sit down on commentary because that’s how you get in bonus material on a wrestling show.

Meng shoves him around to start as Paisley says Angry Alan (the alter ego that comes out when Kwee Wee gets mad) a mini-Meng. Storm gets knocked to the floor and you can see the glitter on him from his match against Kwee Wee on Nitro. Back in and Storm’s clothesline has no effect but Skipper gets in a cheap shot so Lance can take over. A Samoan drop plants Storm but it’s time for Meng to go after the other Canadians for a double countout.

Rating: D. Nothing match here but at least the right guy won while they kept Meng looking strong. Paisley got on my nerves by arguing with Stevie during the entire match but it makes sense that she would be annoyed at being called a yak for weeks. Meng and Kwee Wee have potential as a goofy team and I’ve heard worse ideas. It was a bad match but the right result so at least they’re getting something right.

WCW World Title: Booker T. vs. Mike Awesome

Booker is defending of course. Awesome is all fired up to start and gets in Booker’s face, finally showing some fire instead of his Saturday Night Fever influences. A headlock doesn’t get Mike anywhere as Booker gets in a dropkick for an early advantage. Awesome clotheslines him out to the floor and sends Booker into the barricade before hitting Booker in the back. Maybe he learned that by watching Booker do it to Nash on Monday.

The beating continues for far too long on the floor before some stomps get two on the champ. The fans finally get the table they’ve been requesting all match and of course the announcers act like this is perfectly normal. Stevie on Booker: “I know this guy like a book. Do you know why?” Tony: “Because he’s your brother?” At least he didn’t say “because his name is Book.”

The running Awesome Bomb through a table doesn’t work so Awesome throws him through the table for two instead. You could hear the fans gasp at that kickout. Mike misses the Awesome Splash and gets caught in the sidewalk slam for two. The ax kick gets an even closer two but the Bookend retains the title.

Rating: B-. Best match they’ve had in weeks here and oddly enough the match that got more time than anything else. It’s so funny how that works. Awesome being more serious would only be a good thing for him as he’s more than talented enough to make it on his own without a gimmick. Anyway this was a fun match and I had a good time with it, completely unnecessary table spot aside.

We go to the back to Lanita Ericson, who looks like Pamela Paulshock crossed with the bad version of Madusa. She’s interviewing future MMA fighter/wrestler Bob Sapp, who has signed with WCW. Sapp was an NFL offensive lineman and decided to make a career change to wrestling. That should be a cakewalk but then he was taken down by a little guy named Sarge on his first day at the Power Plant.

Sapp plugs his upcoming boxing match/toughman contest with Refrigerator William Perry and I have no idea how this is supposed to make me want to keep watching. This new woman is HORRIBLE as well as she sounds like someone trying to get picked up at a bar. Terrible all around here and thankfully Sapp never wrestled for WCW.

Goldberg vs. Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Lex Luger

Actually hang on a minute as Kronik comes out before Goldberg and beat up the referee. Stevie: “This is all making sense now.” Tenay: “EXPLAIN IT THEN!”

After a break we see the Boogie Knights paying Kronik off. Dang Stevie was right. It did make sense earlier, assuming you paid attention.

Mayhem ad.

Let’s try this again.

Goldberg vs. Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Lex Luger

Goldberg fights them both off because this is one of those handicap matches called a triple threat in an attempt to make it more interesting. The villains are sent outside for a bit where they get things together, allowing them to take over inside. A beating on the floor keeps Goldberg in trouble but he easily powers out of Luger’s elbow drops. That’s enough for Luger as he walks out, leaving Goldberg to Jackhammer Bigelow for the pin.

Rating: D. The match has come and gone and I’m still not sure what it changed to make this a three way instead of just having the handicap match that it should have been. Goldberg winning was of course the obvious ending and it makes sense to have Bigelow take the pin but Goldberg vs. Luger is their big idea? That’s the best they’ve got? No wonder they are where they are right now.

Overall Rating: D+. Mayhem needs to get here already so we can wrap up some of these stories and get on to some fresh stuff. The midcard stuff has a few interesting ideas in there but they need to polish a lot of this show instead of just running it like they’ve been doing. The shows are passable enough but they need a few big changes to really make them good.

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Thunder – October 18, 2000: The WCW Rumble

Thunder
Date: October 18, 2000
Location: Rod Laver Arena, Melbourne, Australia
Commentators: Stevie Ray, Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone

We’ll wrap up the Australian tour with one of wrestling’s best traditions: a battle royal for a future title shot. In this case it’s all for the #1 contendership with the title shot coming on the Nitro after Halloween Havoc. These overseas shows have been hit or miss so it should be interesting to see how this one goes. Let’s get to it.

We see Sam Greco working out like any martial arts wrestler (in theory) does. He’ll be interviewed later.

Rey Mysterio vs. Mike Sanders

Before the match, Sanders praises Nash and the Thrillers but makes sure not to swear in the process. I can get behind that theory. This is going to be a non-title match so here’s Cat to make it No DQ as well. You know, because Rey Mysterio can get so violent and this will in no way allow interference by any of Sanders’ cronies.

Cat sits in on commentary as Mysterio takes over to start, which is made even better when Sanders lays on the middle rope for a legdrop. As in he walked over there and got into position for the move with no provocation so Rey could drop a leg on him. A top rope splash gives Rey two and now let’s look at the announcers cracking each other up. Rey bulldogs him down as this is pretty much the last thing you want to do to a champion. Then again O’Haire and Jindrak have been treated like goons for weeks and still have the belts so maybe Sanders is on to something here.

The Bronco Buster connects but Rey gets crotched on the top. Shouldn’t that have a similar impact? Sanders yells at Cat for some reason, allowing Rey to come back with a guillotine legdrop for two. A victory roll a few seconds later is enough to put Sanders away. No idea why this needed to be No DQ.

Rating: D+. Some of Rey’s high spots were good but this did more harm than good. Why WCW feels the need to have their young champions lose over and over is beyond me but that’s what we’re going to be seeing for the time being because Heaven forbid someone actually get over around here.

Shane Douglas promises to win the battle royal tonight. I wouldn’t bet on that one chum.

Video on Kronik vs. Goldberg.

Kronik jumps Goldberg from behind, possibly taking him out of the battle royal later. Smart move if nothing else.

Shane Douglas vs. Big Vito

Vito sucks up to the fans and wants to get his hands on Reno. You might try Nevada instead of Australia then. They circle each other to start until Vito gives him an atomic drop for a comedic sell job. Another atomic drop takes us to the floor and Shane gets backdropped outside for good measure. Vito hits a quick suplex and drops a headbutt for one, followed by his always good looking top rope elbow for double that. That means it’s chain time but a shot to Vito’s head only sets up the Pittsburgh Plunge for two. Not that it matters as the Franchiser ends Vito a few seconds later.

Rating: D. This was what you would expect: take someone who was hot a few years back and put them over someone you’ve been pushing lately because of whatever reason they have at the moment. Oh and make sure that the guy challenging for the Hardcore Title soon after this loses as soon as weapons get involved.

Goldberg beats up Ron Harris for no apparent reason.

Mike Awesome and Crowbar are ready for the battle royal tonight.

Boogie Knights vs. Harris Twins

This could be….well it’s going to be something for sure. After the Knights do some catchphrases, only Don comes out for some reason. The actual team takes over with a nice missile dropkick but Wright charges into a Rock Bottom. Cue Ron for a sidewalk slam on Disco….and an elbow to the Duck. Disco gets dropped face first onto the mat to send him outside where he finds ANOTHER Duck. A Duck shot to Ron sets up a high cross body to give Disco the pin.

Rating: D. I’m not sure what the point of this one was but it really didn’t work. I get the Goldberg stuff earlier in the night but the Boogie Knights vs. one of the Harris Twins really isn’t the way to get the crowd into a show. The Knights are actually a decent team though and that’s all they need to be since they aren’t likely to get near the titles anytime soon.

Team Canada promises to end General Rection’s career at Halloween Havoc. An argument breaks out over who deserves the World Title shot.

Video on Steiner vs. Booker T.

Scott Steiner invites Pamela Paulshock to join him later tonight. At least he has good taste.

Elix Skipper comes out to run his mouth about how awesome he is until someone sneaks up on him.

Goldberg vs. Elix Skipper

A gorilla press into a World’s Strongest Slam sets up the two moves and we’re done in a little over a minutes.

Post match Goldberg says that’s 11-0 and he’s coming for Kronik. As usual I’ll remind you: other than YOU’RE NEXT, Goldberg shouldn’t be talking.

As he’s done for weeks now, Jeff Jarrett says Sting is soft.

Jeff Jarrett/Scott Steiner vs. Kidman/Konnan

Steiner throws Kidman around like the cruiserweight jobber he is now and we’re already on the signature stuff. The gorilla press sets up the push-ups, followed by a quick stomping in the corner. Kidman gets in a quick dropkick before Konnan comes in with the rolling clothesline. It’s off to Kidman vs. Jarrett with the Sky High planting Jeff for two, only to have Torrie come out and kidnap Tygress. The top rope Angle Slam sets up the Recliner to put Kidman away in a hurry.

Rating: D. So much for Kidman meaning much around here anymore. Why bother keeping him strong when you can have Steiner and Jarrett beat up the Filthy Animals for fun? This was your usual squashing of two midcarders who could go somewhere in WCW but instead they get beaten down for the sake of Jeff Jarrett and Scott Steiner, the latter of whom is already #1 contender.

Goldberg is still here.

Ric Flair arrives.

Booker and Sting want the Tag Team Titles. For reasons that aren’t clear, Booker is in the battle royal tonight.

It’s time for the interview with Sam Greco who is officially part of WCW. He’s ready to be aggressive in the ring and is already friends with Goldberg. Tony asks about being a martial artist like the Cat but Greco would rather focus on wrestling in the ring. Greco talks about being a Rocky movie with a Goldberg intensity. We wrap it up with Greco saying he’ll be bringing intensity to the table three or four times. From what I can find, Greco only wrestled three times with all three matches in Japan and the first being in November 2002.

The Thrillers sing a little Backstreet Boys. Sanders is told to make sure the team keeps the titles tonight.

Video on Jarrett vs. Sting.

Tag Team Titles: Booker T./Sting vs. Mark Jindrak/Sean O’Haire

Booker and Sting are challenging. Sting and O’Haire get things going with the champions taking over early on until Jindrak comes in to send Sting outside. In a ridiculous power display, the champs throw Sting over the top and back inside. For some reason Madden asks if the Funk Brothers are up and coming contenders. Sting elbows them both out of the corner and the hot tag brings in Booker to clean house. The ax and side kicks get two on Sean and it’s a double finisher, only to have Mike Sanders come in and jump the referee for the DQ. After the champions were knocked out in less than three minutes of course.

Sting and Booker pose as Tony says the fans deserved a better match than that. Well yeah.

This Week in WCW Motorsports was very bad as the car didn’t qualify for the race.

Kronik vs. Perfect Event

Clark doesn’t waste any time and dives off the apron to take Palumbo out, leaving Stasiak alone for a bit. The power guys beat on him like he’s the weak link of the Thrillers, which is the way the announcers are presenting him for whatever reason. I mean, ignore the team that loses all the time when you can make fun of Stasiak right? The full nelson slam causes Stasiak to kick Palumbo in the face, setting up High Times for the pin on Chuck.

Post match here’s Goldberg but he gets chaired down, followed by High Times.

Here’s Ric Flair to be interviewed by Mark Madden. Ric talks about the fans being amazing in the best country in the world because the women here are amazing. However, he’s here to bring his son home. Cue David in a white coat and Ric gets right to the point: they can have all the women they want for the next thirty days if he’ll come home. David says no so Ric leaves, causing Madden to yell at David, basically erasing all the times that he ripped on Ric months ago. With Mark yelling, David tries to give him a blood test.

Halloween Havoc video.

Countdown to Armageddon

This is basically a Royal Rumble allegedly with two minute intervals. Mike Sanders and the Cat start things off and yeah they’re not even trying to hide the fake randomness. They slug it out to start with Cat getting in an elbow and a kick because what else was he going to hit? Shawn Stasiak is in at #3 and it’s time for the run of the mill team beating on a single guy.

Chuck Palumbo is in at #4 and the intervals are more like thirty to forty seconds. The three on one beatdown continues until it’s Disco Inferno in at #5. Disco is smart enough to hang back while everyone beats on Cat until Alex Wright comes in at #6 because RANDOM. It’s rather amusing to hear Tony try to push this as a random draw which WWE was nice enough to drop years ago. Crowbar, minus the 70s stuff, is in at #7. Naturally this turns into a debate about whether or not it’s bad to work at a service station.

Ron Harris is in at #8 as these intervals are getting shorter and shorter. Don Harris is in at #9 as the ring is way too full. Jim Duggan is in at #10 as there’s barely time to write out who is entering before Penzer starts the next countdown. Duggan slugs away for a bit and it’s Lieutenant Loco in at #11. Kevin Nash is in at #12 and we take a break to come back with Nash just getting in the ring to get rid of Duggan, Loco, Sanders and Cat in just a few seconds. The Boogie Knights get rid of Crowbar but get dumped by Nash as David Flair is in at #13.

Perfect Event gets rid of the Harris Twins but get in a fight, allowing Stasiak to hit a horrible right hand to get rid of Palumbo. Stasiak jumps out to avoid facing Nash, who dumps David a few seconds later. Corporal Cajun is in at #14 and eliminated fifteen seconds later, leaving Nash alone. Kwee Wee is in at #15 and is eliminated even faster than Cajun. At least we don’t have to sit around in the meantime.

Rey Mysterio is in at #16 and actually puts Nash down with a springboard missile dropkick. Mysterio escapes a Jackknife and here’s Booker T., as in the World Champion in a match for the #1 contendership, in at #17. That goes nowhere so here’s Mike Awesome at #18. Sting is in at #19 as we’re getting some interesting names in there but the short intervals are making it really hard to care. Everyone goes after Nash, which Madden says is like an old kung fu movie. Nash gets dumped as Jeff Jarrett comes in at #20, though Scott Steiner comes in as well. We’ll call that #21.

Sting Cactus Clotheslines Jeff out for the double elimination (with Steiner leaving as well) and it’s Kidman in at #22. Awesome dumps Booker off camera (oh come on), leaving us with Awesome, Kidman and Mysterio. Lance Storm is in at #23 and nothing happens until Big Vito is in at #24. Sean O’Haire is in at #25 as the announcers can’t remember what number we’re on.

Mark Jindrak is in at #26 as they aren’t even hiding the random stuff here. Konnan is in at #27 as the mindless brawling continues. Kronik, as in both members, come in at #28 and Adams gets rid of Kidman in a hurry. Rey and Konnan go out as well, followed by Storm and Vito. The intervals have stopped and Adams hits the ugliest piledriver I’ve ever seen to thankfully not cripple Awesome.

That’s not enough to get rid of him though so here’s Goldberg, apparently not an entrant because he can’t get a title shot (but the WORLD CHAMPION can). Jindrak and O’Haire are put out and Clark quickly follows. Adams tries to bring in a chair but gets speared, setting up a double clothesline from Awesome and Goldberg to give Mike the win, thereby confusing the fans since Goldberg is still in the ring as Awesome is announced as the winner.

Rating: C. Some really questionable moments aside, this was actually pretty enjoyable. I kind of liked the hyper intervals as it kept the match from dragging because people like Jindrak, Loco and Kwee Wee certainly aren’t getting a title shot so why pretend they will? Awesome winning is a nice surprise, even though the 70s music playing to end the show really made it feel silly. It’s good to see someone fresh in the main event instead of having the same five or six guys get title shot after title shot. This was as good as it was going to be and they managed to avoid most of the stupid battle royal tropes so call it a nice surprise.

Overall Rating: D+. The big main event helped but the rest of the show still had so many of the same problems that regularly plague WCW. As is so often the case, the World Title is the only thing that matters, assuming you have any reason to care about it after all the damage it’s taken over the last year. Not a terrible show but still bad enough to fit the WCW mold to a tee.

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Thunder – October 11, 2000: I Don’t Want To Jump Off A Cliff

Thunder
Date: October 11, 2000
Location: Entertainment Centre, Brisbane, Australia
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Stevie Ray

We’re still down in Australia for a show that was taped right after Nitro. Monday’s show was an improvement but it’s hard to say how well that’s going to carry over because this company has the consistency of a broken roller coaster. Halloween Havoc is in a few weeks and most of the card is already set though so let’s get to it.

Scott Steiner and Jeff Jarrett yell at Shawn Stasiak, telling him to tell Sanders that Steiner wants Booker tonight. Of all the people you could tell this to, you pick Shawn Stasiak?

Shane Douglas/Lance Storm vs. Konnan/General Rection

Fallout from the Down Underwear match on Monday. Before the match, Douglas and Torrie rip on the Australians for being wannabe Americans. O Canada is interrupted by the Misfits theme, which is quite the downgrade. The good guys rush the ring and clean house before we get going. Douglas and Konnan slug it out in the corner to start but Storm sneaks in with a blind tag, setting up a springboard cross body to drop Konnan in a nice move.

The heels take turns on Konnan with Shane nailing a nice basement dropkick. You would have thought Storm would use that spot. Gunns offers a quick trip though and a double clothesline puts Storm and Konnan down. We get a good looking catfight as Rection comes in off the hot tag. Rection’s top rope elbow gets two on Storm with Shane using a reverse Hennig necksnap for the save. Cue Kidman for a Kid Crusher to Shane, setting up No Laughing Matter for the pin.

Rating: C. Storyline advancement, Kidman, a three way catfight and some good looking stuff from Storm and Douglas. What more can you ask for from a short tag match between two midcard storylines? If I didn’t know any better, I’d think WCW was actually being booked somewhat well.

Mike Sanders is singing Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport (obviously an Outback Jack fan) when Stasiak comes in to explain Steiner’s demands. Booker gets a non-title match tonight (not necessarily against Steiner) and a quick argument breaks out over a stuffed kangaroo.

Here’s the Cat to talk to Australian martial arts champion Sam Greco. Sam admits that most people don’t know who he is but he’ll fight anyone that WCW puts in front of him. Cue the Thrillers, with Sanders saying Cat can’t hire anyone. Cat: “I hired your mom last night.” Sanders is annoyed so Cat gives him Stevie Ray tonight, which forces him to make Cat vs. Kevin Nash. We’re still not done yet though as Cat changes the match to Sanders vs. Sting. Greco kicks Sanders down and that’s supposed to be his big introduction. Tank Abbott he is not.

Jindrak and O’Haire don’t have much to say to Sanders.

Tag Team Titles: Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak vs. Lieutenant Loco/Corporal Cajun

Jindrak and O’Haire are defending and start beating up the much smaller guys in a hurry. Loco is thrown across the ring and clotheslined down. The Misfits come right back with DDT’s, only to have Sean plant Loco with a tilt-a-whirl slam. The hurricanrana into the Seanton gets two with Chavo making the save, setting up a Frog splash for two on Sean. Leroux grabs a hurricanrana of his own for the very quick pin on Jindrak for the titles in a big surprise.

Rating: C. They kept this one moving fast in the smartest move of the night as Chavo and Leroux are only so interesting even when they’re at their highest speed. O’Haire and Jindrak are a good, young team and it’s really no surprise that they lose in a nothing match like this to a low level team.

Not so fast though as Sanders comes out and says the rematch is RIGHT NOW.

Tag Team Titles: Lieutenant Loco/Corporal Cajun vs. Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak

A quick double rollup gets two on the new champs and Sean superkicks Chavo. Lash dives back in with a high cross body for two, followed by a botched sunset flip for the same. All four stay in the ring and we get an awkward sequence where Sean brings in a belt but watches Jindrak get sunset flipped again for two more before hitting Lash in the head to turn a hurricanrana into a powerbomb. That’s still not it though as Chavo makes the save but gets knocked out, setting up the Seanton for the pin to give the Thrillers the titles back. Too short to rate but as usual the title change doesn’t mean much.

AWOL comes out to fight the champs.

Elix Skipper brags about being an Olympian and wants Kidman later tonight.

Kronik vs. Booker T.

Non-title. Before the match Booker doe some good sucking up to the fans. Well what else is a face champion supposed to do? The beatdown is on in a hurry with Kronik beating Booker down like he’s any given jobber. It’ snot like titles mean anything anyway right? The full nelson slam looks to set up High Times but here’s Goldberg through the crowd to spear Clark. Adams almost gets a full nelson slam on Goldberg but eats a superkick from Booker as the match is thrown out. Well that was pointless.

Chuck Palumbo is on the phone with someone who might be his mom and asks for advice against Goldberg.

Johnny the Bull tells an arriving Nash that Sanders is having problems but Nash doesn’t seem worried.

Kidman vs. Elix Skipper

This could be fun and Duggan is with Skipper. Kidman pounds away to start and dives onto Duggan with a nice plancha. Back in and Kidman misses a quick splash, allowing Skipper to stomp away. We get some CANADA SUCKS chants as Skipper misses a top rope elbow (drawing a Macho Man reference from Madden).

The Bodog gets two for Kidman and a quick BK Bomb gets the same. Kidman gets crotched and Skipper rope walks into a hurricanrana for a cool looking yet mostly screwed up spot. Not that it matters as Duggan gets in a board shot, setting up the Play of the Week (Wasn’t it Play of the Day last time?) for the pin.

Rating: C-. I was expecting more here but they’re doing a good job of building Skipper up as a player in the division. This makes him 1-1 against Mysterio and Kidman which is a lot better than a lot of people do. Just like so many cares before him though, it’s likely that he winds up doing nothing because the Cruiserweight Title is stuck in an angle instead of a feud but at least he isn’t being wasted.

Palumbo confirms that he was indeed talking to his mom but lets it slip that she told him to run. WHY ARE YOU TREATING THE THRILLERS LIKE WORTHLESS COWARDS??? WCW spent all this time and effort to bring these guys up (years after they should have) and it’s another excuse to waste them while making the old guys look strong. Yeah they’ve gotten the midcard titles that almost everyone has won over the years and haven’t done anything for anyone but since it’s WCW they do the same things over and over and over again and then wonder why it doesn’t go anywhere.

It’s time for an Australian Lava Lamp Lounge because this gimmick WILL get over no matter how dead it is. At least the set is a bit more festive this week with the Australian décor. Tonight’s guests are Kwee Wee (not Kiwi Mike, though it would be easier to type) and Paisley and Mike gets right to hitting on her. Kwee Wee talks about training with the Thrillers and yells at Mike for the Paisley stuff, only to have the Thrillers and Harris Brothers come out for the weekly attack. Another week with the same stuff because WCW wants to make Mike Awesome look as stupid and worthless as possible.

Sanders tells Nash about his match with Sting tonight. So Nash wasn’t watching the show either?

Goldberg vs. Chuck Palumbo

After the long entrance, Palumbo (looking very serious in yellow) tries a cheap shot with as much success as you would expect. Stasiak gets in a shot from the apron but Goldberg no sells a top rope shoulder. A spear drops both guys and Goldberg Jackhammers both of them for back to back pins, making the new streak 7-0. To be fair they had to do something to make this new one get higher in a hurry and this is as good as they can get.

Halloween Havoc video.

Sting vs. Mike Sanders

Non-title of course. Jarrett comes out dressed as Surfer Sting (again to Metallica) and points the bat at Sanders. Jeff talks about having no heart anymore and lays down, drawing out the real Sting to clean house. A Stinger Splash misses though and Sanders gets in a few bat shots followed by a dancing DiBiase falling punch. We hit a cobra clutch of all things until Sting makes the obvious comeback with three Stinger Splashes and a Death Drop for the easy pin. Good thing those baseball bat shots didn’t have too much effect.

Post break Sanders yells at the Thrillers, even though he should be yelling at Jarrett for bailing so early. Then again, heels aren’t supposed to make sense.

Harris Twins vs. Mike Awesome/Crowbar

Awesome gets beaten down by the Twins to start as the referee continues to not care about doing his job. Crowbar dropkicks both Twins out to the floor and the thrown together 70s team (the fact that Crowbar was one of the roster’s hidden gems for so long and gets this as a reward sums up a lot of WCW’s problems) getting the better of it early on.

Crowbar tries to speed things up a bit too much though until he charges into a Rock Bottom as everything breaks down. A nice wheelbarrow suplex (always liked that move) drops Ron but it’s already table time. I’m not sure if I’d rather have a table involved or watch the Harris Brothers try to have a regular match. The table is set in the corner but Awesome counters a powerbomb with a backdrop to drive Ron through for the pin.

Rating: C-. The action was faster paced here but the important thing is the Twins losing. I know it isn’t going to mean anything long term but at least a team of two talented guys who work hard got a win over one of the least interesting acts in the company. Maybe that’s just dumb luck or maybe it’s Russo being gone. Either way, at least it was the right call.

Rey Mysterio vs. Scott Steiner

We get a few rhymes from Steiner about how awesome he is with the ladies. For some reason Stevie says that watching BET at night doesn’t mean you’re going to win. Tony: “Tygress, you got it girl.” Steiner knees Rey in the ribs to start and we’re already in squash mode. If it’s good enough for the Jung Dragons, squashing Rey isn’t much of a stretch of course. I mean, all cruiserweights are the same right?

Rey tries to speed things up but gets his head taken off by a clothesline. Steiner throws him over the top but Rey hangs on, allowing him to drop a springboard legdrop to break up the pushups. A hurricanrana staggers Steiner again….and he throws Rey down with a suplex to take over again. Something like an Angle Slam from the middle rope sets up the Recliner to end this squash.

Rating: D. I get the idea here but there has to be someone besides Mysterio that you could put into this spot. Normally this should have been Lash Leroux but for some reason we already saw him twice tonight. You can’t find anyone else other than the most successful cruiserweight the company has ever had to take this beating? No one at all? With the roster WCW had they didn’t have three schnooks to put out there and get squashed in a handicap match?

Kevin Nash vs. The Cat

Oh wait as here’s Mike Sanders because we haven’t seen him enough. Stevie: “When is he going to defend that belt?” Tony announcers Nitro and Thunder in England next month but Stevie doesn’t want to go. Did he turn heel and I missed it? Sanders sits in on commentary in a holdover Russo trope but pops up to the apron for an early distraction. You know, because Kevin Nash needs help against The Cat.

Nash does his usual slow offense in the corner while throwing in some trash talk. Now it’s Nash offering a test of strength but getting kicked in the ribs for a surprise knockdown. I’m stunned Nash actually bumped for that. Another karate shot stuns Nash but he kicks Cat in the face. There go the straps but Sanders comes in with a chair to knock Cat out for absolutely no apparent reason.

Booker comes out to save Cat from a powerbomb through the chair. This brings out Steiner which brings out Sting which brings out Jarrett. The heels dominate until Goldberg comes out, only to have Kronik run in and give Goldberg High Times to end the show. One note here: for the last few weeks they’ve had a Halloween Havoc countdown come on screen a few times a show. It’s a good idea to keep fans thinking about this but also letting them know that they’re running out of time to order the show. I wish more companies would do this today as it can’t take more than a few buttons to get it on screen.

Overall Rating: D+. Again, better show here as the problems that have been plaguing the shows are still there but they’re toned way down. They need to cut out the dueling authority figures nonsense and stop with the quick title changes but the show doesn’t feel as chaotic. It doesn’t make me want to throw the remote at the screen anymore and is now just more of a show with a lot of problems instead of a show flying off a cliff. That’s something, right?

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Monday Nitro – October 2, 2000: It Was All A Dream

Monday Nitro #260
Date: October 2, 2000
Location: Cow Palace, San Francisco, California
Attendance: 2,666
Commentators: Mark Madden, Scott Hudson, Tony Schiavone

Tonight is the night. After several months, if not years, of waiting we FINALLY get to see what the wrestling world has been waiting for: Mike Tenay is getting in the ring for a match. Yes indeed. Somehow, this is the point we’ve reached. We also might find out something about the fate of the World Title and Russo has a surprise for Goldberg on top of it, but Tenay is wrestling tonight. Let’s get to it.

On a side note, check out the attendance. Back in February 1998, the same arena did 12,620 for SuperBrawl VIII. Earlier in 2000, also at the Cow Palace, they drew 8,569 for SuperBrawl X. In six months they’ve lost about 6,000 fans and in two and a half years they’ve lost 10,000 fans. In two and a half years, 10,000 have decided that they don’t want to waste their money on WCW anymore.

That’s ignoring the fact that those were pay per views, meaning this show was likely cheaper. Also, less than 2,000 of these tickets were actually paid. If you want to see (arguably) the biggest reason why WCW died, there it is: people stopped coming to see it. If San Francisco, which wasn’t even a major city for them, has shed 10,000 paying fans in less than three years, how bad do you think it is around the country? On top of THAT, how bad do you think the arena is going to look with a minimum of 10,000 empty seats?

Here are the Filthy Animals with the Disqo Duck. After Konnan suggests that Disqo has been, ahem, enjoying one of the Duck’s holes, Konnan wants to hang the Duck above the ring and have a ladder match RIGHT NOW. Madden: “It’s duck season, not wabbit season.”

Konnan/Rey Mysterio vs. Boogie Knights

That would be Disqo/Alex Wright of course. The announcers sound terrified that they could possibly be called the Boogie Knights in a semi-funny bit. This is a ladder match with Wright springboarding in to take over, allowing Disqo to crush Konnan with the ladder in the corner. Rey comes in with a Thesz Press using the ladder and puts the Knights inside and underneath said ladder, setting up an Atomic Arabian Facebuster to crush both guys.

The double Nutcracker Suite keeps the Knights down and Rey flip dives over the top to take Alex out. A Last Dance allows Disqo to climb (Hudson: “A last chance for the duck snatch!”) but Rey takes him down with a sunset bomb. Konnan climbs up and gets the Duck for the win in less than five minutes.

Rating: D+. So the match is four and a half minutes, the Knights lose their first match, AND THEY WERE FIGHTING OVER A DUCK. What am I supposed to say to this? Madden making duck puns was the most entertaining thing in the match. As in him saying the Knights were “mallardjusted” and losing as a result. That’s your highlight here.

Post match the Knights beat the Animals down with the Duck.

David Flair brings in a man wearing a hood and bound by handcuffs. Tonight the man is going to confess, which presumably means he’s the father.

Russo, now out of his neck brace, says he’s not an athlete so he’s relinquishing the World Title. That means we’re getting a title match tonight between Jeff Jarrett and Scott Steiner for the vacant belt. As for Goldberg, he showed what a coward he was last week and he’s lucky that Russo didn’t file charges for assault. This brings Goldberg to the ring to call out Russo, who says he’s got plans. Hopefully those plans involve actually looking at the camera instead of being just a few inches off like he was in the promo.

Cue Russo in a Popemobile (with Borash driving) as Goldberg plows through security. Russo wants Goldberg to feel his pain so he’s got an idea. Starting tonight, Goldberg has to break his streak of 176-0 to get another shot at the World Title. If he loses once, he’s out of WCW. Goldberg goes after Borash and finds the keys but cue Meng to attack Goldberg with the Death Grip. Russo announces Meng as Goldberg’s first opponent for later tonight.

Now this is an idea I can get behind a bit more than most of Russo’s nonsense because there’s an actual plot. You can see where this should go over the next few months with a clear hero and villain. In other words, things are a bit calmer and in theory, Goldberg will get his hands on Russo at some point. Unfortunately that’s something so rare in WCW that it’s really hard to get behind it.

Russo says he’s leaving tonight so Mike Sanders is in charge. Sanders leaves the room and Russo tells Borash to keep an eye on Mike tonight.

Actor Chuck Zito is out for commentary.

Hardcore Title; Sgt. AWOL vs. Reno

The title is vacant coming in. AWOL knocks Reno out of the air with a trashcan to start and it’s already time for a chair. Reno comes back and goes after Zito for no apparent reason before pounding on AWOL even more. Cue Big Vito to cane Reno, allowing AWOL to chokeslam Reno through a table for the pin and the title.

Post match here’s Sanders to say that Reno is champion due to the interference.

The Cat has announced that Booker T. and Sting are the top two contenders instead of Jarrett and Steiner.

David has handcuffed the hooded guy to a dressing room rack. The hooded guy has some very large arms.

Here are Shane and Torrie to talk about being the real first couple of wrestling. Torrie wants to see Shane in action and it’s time for a match.

Shane Douglas vs. Mike Awesome

Shane takes him right into the corner to start but Mike takes the fight to the floor. Lex Luger, who wrestled a match on Thunder, is sitting in the crowd as a fan. Awesome loads up a table (three matches so far and we’ve had a ladder and back to back tables) and tries for the Awesome Bomb, only to have Torrie open her top to show off a skin colored swimsuit top. The distraction lets Shane grab the Franchiser for the pin.

Tygress goes after Torrie post match and Konnan has to run out to save her from Shane.

Jarrett and Steiner want Sanders to fix this thing with Booker and Sting. Nash and the Thrillers come in and don’t say much.

Nash tries to give Sanders a pep talk to go after the Cat.

Video on Meng.

Meng says (yes says) that Goldberg dies tonight. Apparently if he loses, he’s out of WCW too.

Sanders has fixed things somehow.

Meng vs. Goldberg

Slugout, Meng misses a kick, spear, Jackhammer, pin in less than 40 seconds.

Goldberg says that’s #1 but here’s Kronik to beat Goldberg down. High Times plants him and apparently some souls have been sold.

Sanders’ solution: Steiner/Sting vs. Booker/Jarrett with the winning team facing each other for the title later tonight.

David pours water on the hooded guy. You can see the same rope tattoo that Buff Bagwell has on his arm.

Jeff Jarrett/Booker T. vs. Sting/Scott Steiner

Sting and Jarrett get things going with Sting avoiding a monkey flip attempt and hitting Jeff in the chest. The running bulldog sets up the Stinger Splash but a poke to the eye breaks up the Scorpion. It’s off to Booker vs. Steiner with Scott bailing to the floor as we’re already stalling. Back in and Steiner pounds him down until Booker hits a quick kick to the face.

Now it’s off to Sting vs. Booker to make things a bit more interesting. Booker’s headlock is countered with a hiptoss before it’s Sting grabbing a headlock of his own. This is straight out of the totally average match they had at Spring Stampede but the announcers called it amazing anyway. Steiner low bridges Booker out to the floor, only to get beaten down by Jarrett as things get weird again.

Things settle back down with Steiner clotheslining Booker and dropping the elbow. Booker gets tied up in the Tree of Woe but pops out like a daisy from the snow, setting up a spinebuster on Scott. Jeff comes in to stay on Steiner (still odd to see), only to get caught in a spinning belly to belly. Scott rolls over and makes the hot tag off to Sting as everything breaks down. The announcers try to figure out who is legal as Booker ax kicks Steiner. The side kick hits the referee (because of course) and Jarrett guitars Sting for the pin and the title match later.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t the worst thing in the world as it had more time but the match was the usual brawling mess that they usually have. Above all else though, it’s clear that the wrestlers can go more than two minutes, which makes you wonder why they never do. My best guess: Vince Russo hates wrestling and has no idea how to make it actually work.

Cruiserweight Title: Elix Skipper vs. Mike Sanders

Skipper is ticked off that he has to face Sanders after Nash made fun of him last week (by calling Beetlejuice Elix). Skipper wants to fight Nash at the same time so here are all of the Thrillers. Nash has spent the last 45 minutes telling Beetlejuice that he’s sorry for calling him Skipper. We’re still not ready to go because Sanders has some rules. First of all, Team Canada is banned from ringside. Second, you have to win this match with a powerbomb. Third, let’s just make this a handicap match for fun.

Nash hits Elix in the head with a microphone and we’re ready to go. Sanders gets backdropped out of a powerbomb attempt and Elix kicks him in the head. Did I miss Team Canada turning face? Skipper covers for no count because there’s no powerbomb. That’s enough for Nash as he comes in and decks Skipper before talking about how these kids need to stop taking spots from the veterans.

As he’s talking, Elix goes to the top for a really long missile dropkick before hammering away on Nash. We look at Luger in the crowd again and miss Nash taking over again. Nash doesn’t like Skipper calling himself a Canadian so it’s a powerbomb to give Sanders the title. I’m not going to rate this due to how much of it was spent on miniature Nash promos but as usual it was an angle disguised as a match.

Goldberg tries to leave but Terry Taylor tells him that he has another match tonight.

Nash goes to take a shower when Team Canada jumps the Thrillers from behind. Lance Storm and Jim Duggan have the Thrillers cowering in all of ten seconds because that’s what WCW thinks of those guys.

Goldberg vs. Harris Brothers

A spear and a Jackhammer give Goldberg two pins in thirty seven seconds, as in two seconds faster than he beat Meng.

The Thrillers are begging Nash for help, even though the simple answer would seem to be BEAT THE CANADIANS TO A PULP BECAUSE THERE ARE ONLY TWO OF THEM RIGHT NOW.

The World Title match will now be a 49ers match. There will be a box at each corner with the belt in one of them. Whoever finds it is the champion. So the title is being decided in a scavenger hunt. Also note that the other three boxes will have weapons. Remember that.

David Flair brings out the guy in a hood. Flair slaps him in the head a few times and promises to embarrass him before removing the handcuffs. As expected, the guy immediately stands up and takes off the hood to reveal that it’s Buff Bagwell. The beating is quickly on and Buff scores with a Blockbuster before leaving.

WCW World Title: Booker T. vs. Jeff Jarrett

The title is vacant coming in. Jarrett has no guitar and it’s actually really strange to not see it. They head outside to start with Jeff taking over. It’s already time for the first box and it’s…..a blowup doll. Yeah here we go. Booker comes back with a side slam and goes for another box which has a picture of Scott Hall. That’s actually used as a weapon as the picture is smashed over Jeff’s head, leaving him next to the doll.

Booker goes for a third box but Jeff sends him outside for a save. Jeff gets smart by hitting him in the head with a box but can’t get a piledriver. Instead Booker grabs one of his own onto the announcers’ table which doesn’t break in an always scary looking sight. That means it’s time to open the third box, which contains a glove.

There’s nothing special about the glove (it looks like one you might use while working in your yard) but the announcers declare it a coal miner’s glove, meaning it would be weighted. You know what? Well done by them for trying to make this even the slightest bit serious. Russo clearly isn’t going to give them anything to work with so it’s nice to see them trying to do it themselves.

Jeff takes Booker down and grabs the glove, though you have to wonder why he isn’t going after the only box left which must contain the title. A glove shot to the ribs allows Jarrett to pose before breaking another box over Booker’s head instead of going for the box. Booker pops back up for the save, only to eat a gloved shot to the jaw.

Jeff STILL won’t go up so it’s time for a sleeper. To be fair, Booker was up quickly after the shot to the jaw, which shows another problem of the match: the guys have been fighting over the glove like it means something but they can’t decide if it knocks the other guy out or not. Booker easily fights out of the sleeper and grabs one of his own, only to get suplexed down.

Back up and Jeff tries a top rope glove shot to the head but dives into a Bookend. Jeff makes another save but the Stroke is countered into the ax kick. ANOTHER save keeps us going and Booker’s ax kick hits the ropes. An electric chair out of the corner drops Booker but Jeff STILL WON’T CLIMB. Cue Beetlejuice of all people to hit Jeff low, allowing Booker to get the box down for the win and the title.

Rating: C. This one might require some explanation. Yeah the match sucked, yeah there was a severe lack of logic and yeah there were a ton of holes here, but I don’t put that on the wrestlers. It’s not their fault that they had fifteen minutes to spend on a ridiculous gimmick that the booker clearly wasn’t taking seriously. Maybe this could have gone better had five matches (out of an eight match show) combine to go ten minutes and they didn’t have to stall as long as they did before the ending involving a “celebrity”. This was horrible, but I’m not about to blame that on the guys who were asked to make something out of this disaster.

Post match Steiner comes out to hit Booker with a pipe and put Beetlejuice in the Recliner to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. So Goldberg runs through people to start a new segment (fine enough in theory but I have no reason to believe it works long term) and then the rest of the show is all downhill from there. There’s just way too much insanity at this point and it’s almost impossible to keep track of what’s going on out there. As usual you have gimmicks all over the place, illogical stories and ideas and the old guys being pushed instead of the new talent who could use a rub. The problem continues to be the same thing as always: Vince Russo doesn’t know how to book a wrestling show.

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Lucha Underground – July 15, 2015: That Raw Feeling

Lucha Underground
Date: July 15, 2015
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Matt Striker, Vampiro

It hasn’t occurred to me yet but we’re three weeks from Ultima Lucha. The majority of the card is put together and I’m actually looking forward to seeing the show, which is a great sign given how the build has been going. The big story coming out of last week is Vampiro vs. Pentagon, which isn’t likely to be the focus tonight given how things change around here. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap focuses on the Aztec medallions, Sexy Star vs. Super Fly and Pentagon vs. Vampiro.

Dario Cueto is in his office with the four remaining medallions. Pentagon Jr. is sitting across from him and Cueto offers him a medallion just for causing so much havoc. Pentagon doesn’t care about the medallions because if he did, Cueto would have a broken arm and Pentagon would have all of them. All he cares about is pleasing his master by facing Vampiro at Ultima Lucha. The master will be revealed when Pentagon has proven himself, which is pretty much guaranteed to mean at Ultima Lucha.

Quick commentator intro.

Aztec Medallion: Delavar Daivari vs. Bengala

Vampiro hates Daivari because he’s a face announcer this week. Bengala starts fast and sends Daivari outside for a quick suicide dive but Big Ryck shoves Bengala off the top to change control. At least he’s earning his pay. Back up and Bengala ducks a really weak looking clothesline, followed by a Tajiri handspring elbow to put both guys down.

A DDT and superkick get two each for Bengala as this is still a very spot heavy match. Ever the nitwit, Bengala goes after Ryck, allowing Daivari to grab a superplex for two. At least he has a good superplex. Daivari makes the mistake of relying on Ryck too much though, allowing Bengala to ram them together and German suplex Daivari for the pin and the medallion.

Rating: D+. Is there anyone less interesting in this company than Daivari? He’s a guy that has bounced around from promotion to promotion and there just isn’t that much interesting about him. Now he’s a rich guy and still not interesting, but at least the fans aren’t really even giving him the time of day anymore. Bengala isn’t anything of note as there are a half dozen guys doing basically the same thing but better.

The announcers chat for a bit but Vampiro goes to the ring. Post break, Vampiro talks about being in this business for over 30 years. He’s bled on every continent and knows what it takes to succeed, but last week Pentagon Jr. came out here and wanted Vampiro to have one more match. Vampiro isn’t interested because he has no ego, but he likes Pentagon because he sees a lot of himself in the kid. Cue Pentagon….to make fun of Vampiro for being named Ian Hodgkinson. Vampiro says that Ian won’t be fighting at Ultima Lucha, but someone named Vampiro will be. A chokeslam plants Pentagon and the match is official.

We go inside Sexy Star’s mind to see how upset she is over her feud with Super Fly.

Aztec Medallion: King Cuerno vs. Killshot

Cuerno chops away to start and tells the fans to be quiet so he can chop even harder. A dropkick sends Killshot to the floor but he kicks Cuerno in the head to stop a dive. I’m assuming the bow and arrow motion tipped Cuerno off. Or that everyone who does that move does it the same way. Another kick stops another dive from the apron so Cuerno just powerslams him onto the apron to put Killshot down. Cuerno hits a kind of reverse hurricanrana, followed by the Arrow but the Thrill of the Hunt is countered. That’s fine says Cuerno as he busts out a surfboard with a dragon sleeper for the win.

Rating: C. Not bad here with Cuerno being a full on face this time instead of the heel that he nailed so well. This doesn’t feel like a show that is about the wrestling, but at least this one got some time instead of flying through it like the first match did. Killshot is another guy who is just kind of there, which is totally acceptable.

Aztec Medallion: Super Fly vs. Sexy Star

Super Fly dropkicks her, Star kicks him low and a La Mistica armbar makes Fly tap in thirty seconds.

Cue Marty Martinez who wants to face Star for the medallion right now, because the medallion has a moth on it.

Aztec Medallion: Sexy Star vs. Marty Martinez

Star flips him around to start and armdrags him into the corner as Martinez is all messed up. The announcers jabber about Facebook as Martinez takes her down and puts on a figure four but Star quickly reverses. Another La Mistica makes Marty tap in short order. I have no idea why this needed to take place but at least Star wins.

We run down the Ultima Lucha card. I’m sold.

It’s time for the big showdown between Puma and Muertes. Cueto, moderating, says that he doesn’t want it to turn into a brawl. Therefore, the brawl is quickly on with Puma getting the better of it, only to have the Disciples of Death come in for help. Cue Konnan with his stick but Muertes nails him, allowing the Disciples to put Konnan in a casket as Puma takes the Flatliner to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This felt like Raw and that’s not a good thing. By that I meant that it was a bunch of matches that you didn’t need to see because four matches barely took ten minutes combined. Instead of the interesting matches for the previous medallions, this felt like (and probably was) a rushed way to fill out whatever match they’re having for them at Ultima Lucha. I’ve seen worse episodes, but the important thing here is I want to see Ultima Lucha. It’s a well built show and that’s all it needs to be.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Lucha Underground – June 24, 2015: Death Is The End

Lucha Underground
Date: June 24, 2015
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

This is a different kind of show as there is almost nothing set up due to last week’s episode being nothing but one match. We do however have Mil Muertes vs. Drago for the #1 contendership, meaning it’s time to see Drago die again. Well assuming you think he died when he initially left a few months back. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Aztec medallions with Fenix and Jack Evans winning the first two. The second recap shows Dragon winning the title shot but having to face Muertes for the shot again.

The announcers give us a recap of Mundo vs. El Patron, who will face off at Ultima Lucha.

Super Fly vs. Sexy Star

Star saves Fly from an attack but she also beat him in a mask vs. mask match, causing Fly to attack her a few weeks back. Before the match we get a quick sitdown interview with Super Fly, who isn’t pleased with Vampiro saving Sexy Star from Pentagon Jr. Fly slaps him in the face to start but gets rolled up for a quick two.

Back up and a very weak looking elbow to the jaw puts Star down again and a slightly less weak dropkick does the same. A boot choke in the corner has Star in even more trouble but as usual, it’s clear that Fly (or any opponent for that matter) isn’t going full strength on her. Fly slaps her in the face to get the people really booing so Star grabs a quick majistral cradle for two.

Something like an AA with no snap and a backsplash put Star down for two more so she backdrops him 360 degrees over the top with Star landing on his feet before crashing. Star mostly misses a dive to the floor, only to shrug off Star’s offense back inside and hit a double powerbomb for the pin.

Rating: D. This was a good example of the problem of man vs. woman matches. Star can definitely work just fine, but there are men clearly not comfortable with going full speed against them and it really makes the matches awkward. They need to figure out a way around this, because this match was really lame due to Fly not wrestling a match like he usually would. Or maybe Fly just isn’t very good.

Post match Fly beats on her even more and goes for the mask before Sexy rolls away.

Video of Drago training.

Aerostar vs. Pentagon Jr. vs. Cage vs. The Mack vs. Marty Martinez

The winner gets an Aztec Medallion. Before the match, Pentagon says he wants more than a medallion because he wants revenge on the man who destroyed his greatest sacrifice: Vampiro. They shove each other a bit and Vampiro unbuttons his shirt but Pentagon walks off. Back from a break and we’re having a four way instead.

Aerostar vs. Cage vs. The Mack vs. Marty Martinez

Vampiro is very stoic when we get back and doesn’t say anything before the bell. Star and Martinez pair off, leaving Cage to kick Mack in the face. That goes nowhere as Mack shows FIGHTING SPIRIT (Striker’s words) to run Cage over. The power guys fight to the floor as Vampiro thinks Martinez might be a stalker. The stalker comes back with a dive to take Star out but Star pops back up and dives on a few people, leaving Cage the only one in the ring.

Back in and Star dives right into a fall away slam back to the floor to give Cage even more of an advantage. He’s smart enough to pull Martinez back in for two but Mack breaks it up and throws Cage down, only to have Star springboard in with a missile dropkick. A springboard backsplash gets two on Mack, but he Samoan drops Star for two more. Star and Cage go outside, leaving Martinez to give a creepy wave to Mack before springing into an armdrag for another near fall on Mack.

That’s fine with Mack who hits something like Swiss Death on Marty, only to eat a discus lariat from Cage. Martinez and Star dropkick Cage into the ropes….which earns them a wicked double clothesline. Cage is in full control, only to walk into an exploder suplex onto the apron, followed by a top rope backsplash from Mack. Martinez takes way too long on top, allowing Star to do his stupid rope walk into a hurricanrana, followed by a springboard splash for the pin and the medallion.

Rating: C+. Fun match here as you would expect from a big mess like this. Lucha Underground is great at throwing a bunch of people out there to do spots for a few minutes before getting to the finish once they get tired. It’s nothing revolutionary or mind blowing, but it’s all you need for something like this.

The Trios Champions are practicing and get in yet another argument. Cue Catrina who says the Disciples of Death are coming for the titles. The Disciples appear and lay out the champions before disappearing and being replaced by Muertes. Well that was odd.

Mil Muertes vs. Drago

Anything goes and the winner gets the title shot at Ultima Lucha. Before the match, Hernandez appears and beats Drago with a belt before throwing in some choking for good measure. Well Hernandez knows about choking so it fits well. Also, since Hernandez was live on Impact, does this make him the modern Rick Rude? Muertes does his big entrance but the fans chant MAMACITA at Catrina to kill the mood.

Mil grabs him by the waist to start but Drago climbs the ropes for a Sliced Bread #2, only to have Muertes do the Undertaker sit up. So he’s Undertaker, the stone is the urn and Catrina is Bearer? Muertes fires off some hard clotheslines in the corner and a Goldberg style spear puts Drago down again. Fans: “GET THE COFFIN!” For some reason Mil opts for chops instead of more power stuff and Drago is able to send him to the floor for a big dive.

That’s fine with Mil though as he posts Drago and throws him through some chairs. The fans want tables because SCREW OFF ECW. My goodness that must be the most annoying chant in wrestling history. Muertes doesn’t help things by powerbombing Drago onto the announcers’ table, earning himself a face chant. So much for faces and heels in wrestling. Drago busts out a tornado DDT back inside but the rollup is easily broken up, followed by the Flatliner to give Muertes the title shot.

Rating: C. Total squash here with Drago getting in nothing more than token offense. That’s exactly what this needed to be though as Muertes vs. Puma is going to be a great title match, though they’re crazy if they don’t put the belt on Muertes. He’s the best heel this company has ever had and having him lose the big showdown would be a waste, especially with very few left for Puma to fight.

Muertes kisses Catrina and here are Konnan and Puma for the staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. It’s cool to finally see the build up to a major show instead of just a big TV show for a change. The wrestling here was good enough but that wasn’t the point. Tonight was about setting up the title match for Ultima Lucha, which is only six weeks away. Good enough show here, especially with all the other stuff they have to cover before the big night.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Lucha Underground – May 27, 2015: He Is Risen

Lucha Underground
Date: May 27, 2015
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

The big story this week is the return of Mil Muertes, who is looking like a demonic Brock Lesnar. Unfortunately Fenix is going to be the first victim on the path of rage, which is going to be made even worse as Fenix is the one that too Muertes out in the first place. Other than that we have Prince Puma defending the title against Hernandez. Let’s get to it.

We open with Catrina raising Muertes out of the casket in what looks like a trailer for a horror movie. Puma vs. Hernandez gets a bit of time as well but it’s definitely the secondary story tonight. The last clip is Mundo turning heel on El Patron.

Black Lotus arrives at the temple (in a rare daylight sequence) but Chavo stops him. His grandfather was there when Dario’s brother killed Lotus’ parents so the Guerreros hate the Cuetos too. This story is still over the top and ridiculous and I’m starting to love it.

Aerostar vs. Johnny Mundo

Star is sent down ten seconds in and Johnny goes for a chinlock with Star’s arm pinned back for some elbows to the chest. Mundo kicks him to the floor as this is a far more aggressive Johnny to start. Back up and Star spins around Johnny into a nice looking headscissors before a kick to the face and slingshot splash get two. A dropkick to the leg sends Mundo outside, setting up a big flip dive to the floor.

Mundo goes right back to slugging the masked man in the head and putting on an Anaconda Vice. After ropes are reached, Mundo kicks him in the face again for two more but Mundo plants him with a backbreaker. The End of the World is broken up so Johnny just suplexes him into the corner, setting up the End of the World for the pin.

Rating: C. This worked well enough with Mundo’s new heel persona working. However, Star got in way too much offense for Johnny’s first opponent after a heel turn. Thankfully it was just token offense with Mundo never in any real danger, but this should have been a squash instead as even as it was.

Vampiro’s sitdown interview this week is with Sexy Star, who isn’t worried about her upcoming submission match with Pentagon Jr. because she already beat him once. Super Fly is still healing and she’s ending Pentagon Jr. for him.

Lucha Underground Title: Hernandez vs. Prince Puma

Puma is defending. Hernandez easily blocks an early hurricanrana attempt and throws Puma down but he comes back by kicking Hernandez in the head. The big guy bails to the floor and Puma teases a dive to tick him off even more. Back in and Hernandez slingshots into a Codebreaker for a nice counter. It’s almost all Puma so far and a springboard cross body gets two.

Hernandez gets tired of being on defense and just nails Puma with a clothesline. It’s simple but Hernandez using such basic offense compared to Puma’s high flying is a nice touch. A running splash gets two but Hernandez poses a bit too much and gets kicked in the head. That just annoys him though and a choke suplex sends him flying. Puma’s cross body is countered into an Alpha Bomb (slam into a sitout powerbomb) and the kickout surprises the big man.

A big shove sends Puma to the floor (nice and simple again) so Konnan comes up on the apron for a distraction, allowing Puma to grab a chair to knock Hernandez out of the air. That goes nowhere so Hernandez plants him with a powerbomb onto the apron, which should completely destroy him. Instead Puma is countering a Border Toss into the barricade and landing on the rail for a big corkscrew dive to take Hernandez down.

Another slingshot splash gets another two but the 630 misses and Hernandez plants him with a powerslam. Hernandez’s splash hits knees and for once that actually hurts someone’s knee. It doesn’t hurt enough to stop him from kicking Hernandez in the head a few times for two. Even more kicks to the head set up the 630 to retain the title.

Rating: B-. I liked it but I didn’t love it. As usual, the selling here didn’t last more than about ten seconds at a time, which makes for some very quick turnarounds. That being said, the sped up matches are the norm here and almost no one selling that long makes it a lot easier to sit through. Good match and a good win for Puma, though nothing all that remarkable.

Fenix vs. Mil Muertes

Death match, which means pin or submission only and the fall has to take place in the ring, which means it was nice knowing you Fenix. Muertes, now all in black, stares a hole through Fenix and has three men in skull masks to take off his cape. Fenix tries a dive over the top during the entrances but he literally just bounces off of Muertes. Oh this is going to hurt. Muertes throws him inside and powerslams Fenix down for some right hands. He’s moving around like a zombie with superpowers, which is one heck of a B movie concept.

Fenix’s kicks are swatted away and a swinging chokeslam plants him down. He finally manages to crotch Mil on top and run down the ropes to kick Muertes to the floor. A big multiple jump moonsault drops Mil again but he pops up and nails a hard clothesline. To make things even worse for Fenix, Mil grabs a chair and caves his head in. Fenix of course shrugs it off and nails a superkick, setting up a huge double stomp off the barricade to crush Muertes’ chest.

Back in and Fenix scores with some kicks, only to get hiptossed out to the floor. More chair shots have Fenix in big trouble so Muertes throws him onto his shoulders and sprints up the steps. Fenix’s kicks have no effect and Muertes powerbombs him THROUGH THE ROOF OF THE STORAGE ROOM. We actually take a break (for I think only the third time in this series) and come back with the skull guys carrying Fenix (with the required Jesus pose) to the ring for the Flatliner and the pin.

Rating: C+. Oh yeah this worked. The wrestling obviously wasn’t the point here as Muertes is suddenly the top evil in this company. The powerbomb destroyed Fenix and made the debut of the new character work so well. Really good debut here with Muertes looking exactly like the monster he should. Muertes killing Puma and taking the title needs to be academic at this point.

Catrina, Muertes and the skull guys pose as the credits roll.

We’re not done yet as Lucha Underground channels its inner Marvel with a pose credits sequence. Cueto meets with the Crew and says El Jefe (the boss) will not be embarrassed. Someone has to pay for this and the other two throw Bael into Cueto’s brother’s cage. Blood splatters everywhere and Cueto rubs some onto his face. Did we just see a death sequence to end the show?

Overall Rating: B. This was a solid effort as they’re clearly building up a lot of stuff for the end of the season. It’s so strange to be building towards a season finale instead of a big pay per view but this is actually working for me. Muertes is awesome as a monster, Cueto is awesome as an evil boss and the heroes are all solid as well to top it off. Cool show here as they’re setting the stage for the big stuff to wrap things up, including Black Lotus as a wildcard. Good stuff.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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