Thunder
Date: September 13, 2000
Location: Civic Center, Roanoke, Virginia
Commentators: Stevie Ray, Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay

It’s the final show before Fall Brawl and as usual they’re having issues setting up the pay per view because the bigger priority is building up the TV shows. Monday saw Scott Steiner attach Goldberg to a bus which didn’t work because that’s the kind of thing you set up and blow off in all of a minute. Let’s get to it.

We open with Miss Jones on the phone with Cat, who is assured that everything is fine. Cue Jarrett to take the phone and say not quite before kidnapping Jones. As usual, women are objects and plot devices on these shows.

David Flair is freaking out about the idea that various men might be the father of the baby. Does David actually wrestle anymore? I can’t remember the last match he actually had.

Here are Nash, Jarrett and Steiner to open things up. Nash brags about making the fans buy into the swerve on Monday and I have issues remembering which one it was. They tend to run together when you have one every single week. He’s also ready for the cage match on Sunday, which they haven’t exactly given a ton of focus. Steiner brags about having sex with a lot of women and talks about how big his arms are. Jeff makes Jones lay down (shocking) for a five count and threatens a guitar shot.

This brings out the recently arrived Cat along with Booker, the latter of whom gives out his lame catchphrases. Cat makes a tag match for later with Nash/Steiner vs. Cat/Booker where whoever gets the fall gets the title. Jarrett only gets Sting, which prompts Jeff to guitar Dave Penzer for whatever reason.

Disqo has booked the Filthy Animals in a non-title match against Kronik and the Harris Brothers. Why he would do that isn’t exactly clear, but he thinks it could get them the #1 ranking in WOW Magazine.

Thunder Tailgate Party video.

An angry Mike Awesome arrives. I’d be mad too. He’s in a leisure suit and Justin Credible is the top heel in ECW.

Disqo has also booked himself and Konnan against Jindrak/O’Haire, but Konnan isn’t clear to wrestle. Therefore, Tygress is getting the spot. Well of course she is.

Mark Jindrak/Sean O’Haire vs. Disqo Inferno/Tygress

Before the match, Sanders introduces Johnny the Bull as the newest Thriller. Johnny really enjoyed beating Vito down and is horrible at this whole talking thing. Disqo starts with Sean and thankfully the rookie cleans his clock, which unfortunately means it’s off to Tygress, drawing a big rant from Tenay about how women don’t belong here. That’s just so against anything he’s said for years and really comes off as the writers not knowing how character development works. You don’t just slap characteristics on people and assume they work.

The Thrillers literally throw Tygress back and forth in the air as Disqo runs off to get help. You know, instead of helping himself. Jindrak tries to give Tygress a Bronco Buster but that’s a bit too much even for WCW, so she hits a Bronco Buster of her own. That earns her a sitout powerbomb, followed by the Seanton Bomb for the pin. Total squash of course.

The Animals finally come back out (why they weren’t there in the first place isn’t clear) but get beaten down by the Thrillers.

David beats up a referee for suggesting that he’d brag about sleeping with Ms. Hancock.

Team Canada teaches Major Gunns to speak Canadian. I think you can write the jokes yourselves, even though Storm really wouldn’t seem likely to do something like that.

Sting is annoyed at not being in the main event recently as even he’s forgotten WarGames. Therefore, he’d like a title shot against Booker on Nitro if Booker gets the title back. That’s rather forward of him.

Disqo has to defend himself from the Animals blaming him for the loss.

It’s time for the Lava Lamp Lounge with special guest Major Gunns. So if Storm didn’t let her out there, would he really just have screwed up the entire segment? That’s not the nicest way to help international relations. Awesome gets straight to hitting on her as Gunns goes on a rant about how much she hates being around Lance Storm. Mike suggests a massage so here’s Team Canada for the brawl with Awesome throwing Skipper around with ease.

Cue the MIA to say Gunns needs to come back home. Storm agrees and offers a tag match with Duggan/Rection vs. Team Canada with Gunns on the line. What’s in it for the Canadians isn’t clear but they’re kind of odd at times. That’s it for the show but a janitor lays out Awesome and of course it’s Jarrett. Much like the other major matches, I’m not entirely sure why they’re fighting at this point or why we’re going to see them in a hardcore match but I’m sure a guy dressing up as a janitor and breaking a guitar over a 70s enthusiast in a leisure suit who hits on every woman he can find will sell itself.

More Tailgate Party stuff.

Rection asks Duggan to be his partner in the tag match later. Dang it’s lucky that Duggan was just sitting there in case someone needed a tag match for AMERICA.

Steiner and Nash charge a kid $60 for a picture with Steiner covering the kid’s face. Simple idea but kind of a needless segment.

Here are Shane and Torrie (good night) to talk about how awesome the mixed tag scaffold match is going to be. Unfortunately he spoils it by promising everyone a full refund if his team loses. This brings out Madusa and Billy Kidman because we’re getting a preview right now.

Shane Douglas/Torrie Wilson vs. Madusa/Billy Kidman

Shane takes Madusa to the mat with a lot less difficulty than he should have but Kidman is chasing Torrie around, drawing Shane to the floor for a save. That’s already enough as the match is thrown out in a hurry, so at least they didn’t waste much of Sunday’s THRILLING scaffold match.

Kidman goes after Torrie again and knocks her over a balcony, giving us the most obvious action movie shot I’ve ever seen in wrestling with Torrie hanging off a balcony to save herself. Just go make B movies already as it’s clear what they want to do.

Post break, Kidman and Madusa rant about the scaffold match.

Your weekly sitdown interview is with Ric Flair and it’s fully storyline stuff here with the first questions being about the wedding and Hancock’s announcement. Ric talks about how screwy things have been lately due to the efforts of Vince Russo but then they were in an arena for a wedding to a great woman. He and David bonded again and Ric had everything he wanted again. Tenay doesn’t seem to buy this but Ric isn’t going to be intimidated. “You’re not talking to Midajah here.”

Ric lists off some of the people he’s wrestled and doesn’t like the idea that Tenay stopped after the 1980s. That brings Tenay back to Ric vs. Russo, who got the better of Ric. For some reason Tenay doesn’t buy that but Ric says he’s out of the business because he lost a match where his career was on the line. It was Ric’s fault that he brought his family on TV and let Russo get under his skin but Russo is a snake. Tenay flat out asks if Ric is the father of Hancock’s baby and that’s the end of the interview with Ric walking off after saying Tenay is just like Russo. Well that’s quite the insult.

I really do not want to know where this story was going to go, but the more I think about it, the more I think it was likely to be Russo. Why not? He’s gotten the better of the Flair’s every single time so why not let him do that too? I mean, he can destroy Ric’s career and take over his family so why not have him impregnate one of the most beautiful women in the world too?

Fit Finlay tells David to calm down with all of the questions about who is the father. Why in the world is Finlay not in the ring either?

Jeff Jarrett vs. Sting

This is now 2/3 falls, which could make for a good match if they don’t screw the whole thing up. While Sting is on the way to the ring, Tony brags about Nitro’s ratings from the previous night. As in the 3.2 they got, down from the 3.6 the previous week. Before the match, Jeff tells Sting to forget about the title match because Nash is keeping the title. Instead Sting offers to make this a #1 contenders match, again because they just can. Sting takes him down to start as Stevie talks about Wahoo McDaniel.

The announcers actually bring up Sting vs. Vampiro vs. Muta on Sunday, which is indeed a match despite the lack of discussion over the last few months. A running clothesline puts Jarrett on the floor and it’s time to go to the announcers’ table. Stevie: “THIS IS THE ONLY TABLE WE GOT! WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS COMING OVER HERE???” Sting suplexes him up by the stage but Jeff stomps away back inside.

Some clotheslines set up a top rope splash for two on Jeff but the referee gets bumped, setting up a low blow and the Stroke to give Jarrett the first fall. Jeff throws him to the floor but gets caught in a quick sunset flip for the pin to tie it up. The third fall starts with an awkward grappling exchange, followed by the traditional trading of the sleepers. Jeff suplexes out of Sting’s version but gets knocked down, setting up Sting’s falling headbutt.

Back up and Jeff pulls the referee in the way of the Stinger Splash. This brings out a second and Jeff pulls him in the way as well but Sting doesn’t jump. Instead David Flair comes out to hit the referee with a broom stick for his earlier comments, meaning there’s no one to see Jarrett tap to the Deathlock. Not that it matters as Sting tells the timekeeper to ring the bell to end the match.

Rating: C+. This was working until the goofy ending but at least they didn’t screw it up too badly. As usual, Jarrett is at his best when he has someone to carry him to a good match and Sting, despite not being anywhere near his peak anymore, was still one of the better workers on the roster. If nothing else it was nice to see a match get some time for a change and it helped a lot.

The Misfits don’t have much to say.

Kronik vs. Filthy Animals vs. Harris Brothers

Non-title with Disqo on commentary. It’s a brawl between the big guys to start as the Animals just kind of stand back and watch. To be fair they’re above this kind of a match anyway. We settle down to Don hitting Clark low to take over inside but Adams makes the save when the Twins try to use a chain. The Animals get bored of waiting and dropkick Don right into High Times for the quick pin.

Rating: D. As usual, there really wasn’t much of a point to this and the champions, who are fighting the Thrillers on Sunday in a match that is barely getting any mention, were just there. However you can’t do the Twins vs. Kronik here because they’re doing it on Sunday. Why not do something like a singles ma……egads the thought of either Twin vs. Adams or Clark gave me a chill.

Post match the Twins beat Kronik down with a ball bat wrapped in a chain.

Here’s David Flair with something to say. He’s proud that his dad called him a man but at the same time he needs to find out what happened with Stacy and the father of the baby. This brings out Miss Hancock but before anything can be said, it’s Arn Anderson out to interrupt. David needs to chill because women are like buses: they come around every twenty minutes. That’s quite the public transportation system. Right now, all that matters is Stacy knowing who the father is, and Anderson hopes she does.

Jim Duggan is out cold underneath the American flag. I smell collusion.

Team Canada vs. General Rection

No Duggan so only Rection comes out to interrupt the Canadian national anthem. Rection goes after both of them to start before the bell and runs them over just like every hero does in the early stages of a handicap match. Skipper finally takes over with a springboard spinwheel kick though and the heels start in on the ribs to take over.

It’s off to Storm for some elbows to the ribs and that awesome dropkick of his for two. A kick to the face staggers Storm but Skipper gets in a knee to the back, setting up the Maple Leaf. Cue Duggan on a crutch (but no bandage on the head) but he can’t get out in time, meaning Rection taps out.

Rating: D+. Storm’s dropkick was great as always but it’s just not enough to make up for the fact that we’re supposed to get behind a guy named General Rection. Also make sure to ignore the fact that Duggan retired on Monday and is supposed to be back in action with no real explanation two days later. As usual, the wrestlers’ statements mean nothing and we’re supposed to ignore the continuity issues.

Post break, Rection wants a match on Sunday for Gunns and the title. I have no idea why the Canadians would agree with that but as usual, they never actually seem to make sense.

WCW World Title: Kevin Nash/Scott Steiner vs. Booker T./The Cat

Nash is defending but anyone can win the title by getting the fall. It’s a brawl to start until Booker and Steiner officially get things going. Nash has to break up an early ax kick attempt so Steiner hits Cat with the title. In theory that should be a DQ but that’s not how WCW works at this point.

Cat pops up way too fast so Nash belts him down again, allowing the villains to take turns on Booker. I really have no idea why you would tag out here but logic isn’t the strongest point in this company. A double clothesline and big boot drop Booker twice in a row before a belly to belly gets two. There’s the Recliner to Booker with Nash making the save, only to have Goldberg come out on a motorcycle for a spear on Steiner, drawing the dreaded no contest to end the show.

Rating: D. Yeah as usual there’s only so much you can do here with a gimmick where it’s pretty clear they’re not switching the title and we’re just waiting on the screwy finish. Goldberg coming in was fine and actually shows a little focus on their match instead of having Steiner chain him to a bus for all of ten seconds or whatever that mess was on Monday.

Overall Rating: D. Nitro and Thunder are in an interesting place right now. The Monday show is a complete train wreck with the focus being on Russo despite him not being there and so many ideas floating around that I forget where the show even started. On the other hand, Thunder is a more coherent show but almost none of it feels like it’s tying in to the main storylines.

That being said, Thunder is the easier show to sit through as it’s not quite as insane, but much like a modern day Smackdown, you lose nothing if you don’t watch it. Fall Brawl is going to be interesting, as if nothing else I can watch the show and find out all the matches on the show because the TV leading up to it has been such a wild mess that I’ve kind of forgotten.

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Monday Nitro #257
Date: September 11, 2000
Location: Independence Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Mark Madden, Tony Schiavone, Jeremy Borash

It’s the go home show for Fall Brawl and we’re now back to the build for the pay per view after last week’s stand alone WarGames (in name only) show. Unfortunately that leaves the whole card starting from a dead end as last week had nothing to do with Booker vs. Nash or Steiner vs. Goldberg. Instead, we have a big story of David Flair marrying Miss Hancock and a possible Ric Flair appearance in another stand alone story. Let’s get to it.

David arrived earlier and Crowbar, Ozzy and Daffney greeted him to bury the hatchet. No sign of Ric though.

Jeff Jarrett thinks he should offer some entertainment for the wedding.

Opening sequence.

The arena lighting seems dark, probably to hide a low attendance.

Tag Team Titles: Filthy Animals vs. Kronik

Rey and Juvy are defending. Before the match, Disqo runs his mouth and ticks Kronik off even more after the Animals were laid out on Thunder. It’s a brawl to start as Konnan talks about throwing Rey in quicksand. We settle down to Adams pounding Juvy in the corner and hitting a quick F5, though the landing looked more like a DDT. Rey gets a blind tag and the Animals actually double suplex Adams. That’s quite the surprise but you can only be so shocked when Konnan is talking about no selling and taking bumps.

Clark comes in and plants Juvy with a full nelson slam but Adams gives Rey an even bigger one. Cue the Harris Twins (of course) for a distraction, allowing Disqo to hit Clark with a chair and give him the Last Dance on the floor. Back in and Juvy’s 450 (he hit the mat first) only gets two. Instead it’s the What’s Up with the legdrop (named the Nutcracker) retains the titles.

Rating: C. Such is life in WCW. I was actually starting to get into this until the Twins came in to screw things up. It’s interference to set up a match that isn’t interesting and most people don’t want to see, but for some reason we’re getting the Harris Twins in the top spot instead of ANYONE else. Also, what was up with wasting the 450 near the end?

Stacy Keibler arrives.

Recap of WarGames, complete with the line of “it’s another Russo swerve!”

Tony promises an update on Vince Russo, who has suffered his third concussion in three months. I understand that concussions are bad, but I’m having issues feeling sorry for Russo when he keeps injecting himself into these big matches. He’s getting all the glory in the matches and that comes with the damage. It’s almost like someone of average size shouldn’t be getting destroyed by people the size of pro wrestlers. Apparently Russo has had to have brain surgery. Tony: “Tonight: a wedding and brain surgery.”

Here’s the Cat to say he’s in charge because Russo’s injunction was thrown out of court. Therefore, Booker vs. Nash on Sunday is now in a cage. As for tonight though, Nash is defending the title against Scott Steiner. That leaves Jeff Jarrett, who Miss Jones wants to fight. Jarrett comes out and promises to win and prove that men are superior to women. He’s even willing to wrestle handcuffed. Cat and Jeff start fighting until Steiner comes out to put Cat in the Recliner.

Booker and Sting (without paint) arrive and don’t seem worried that Steiner and Jarrett are taking over.

Big Vito vs. Reno

Stick ball bat on a pole, which is how things go in the neighborhood apparently. It must be one of the slums of Parts Unknown. Palumbo is here with Reno. Vito starts fast with a Japanese armdrag but has to go after Palumbo. A quick suplex drops Reno but the referee gets bumped. Vito grabs the stick, only to have Reno lay him out with the Roll of the Dice for no count. Cue the returning Johnny the Bull to help stand off with the Thrillers, only to turn on Vito (a full THIRTY SECONDS after coming out to defend him), giving Reno the pin.

The rest of the Thrillers come in to beat Vito down. I can’t get over the fact that this is supposed to be a swerve. It really was just thirty seconds.

Cat yells at Booker and Sting for being late but they leave together.

Steiner/Jarrett/Nash say they’re in charge tonight. Booker/Sting/Cat come in with the latter saying he’s in charge.

Madusa says she doesn’t like the women around here even though she trained them. Therefore, tonight she gets to beat up Torrie Wilson.

Torrie Wilson vs. Madusa

The announcers talk about the history of scaffold matches and we actually get a Jim Cornette reference. Madden: “Cornette fell off the scaffold and ended his career. He just doesn’t know it yet.” Madusa beats on her for about twenty seconds before Shane comes in for the DQ.

Post match Shane puts Madusa in an STF (of course) until Kidman comes in for the save. Yeah these two are feuding in case you forgot. Madusa adds herself and Torrie to make it a tag team scaffold match on Sunday. Did they really forget the lessons from Great American Bash 1991?

Crowbar helps David get ready.

Jimmy Hart hands Miss Hancock an envelope.

Mike Awesome shows up in That 70s Bus.

Nash suggests that Steiner lay down for him tonight.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Miss Jones

Apparently Goldberg is going to be enforcer in the World Title match. Jarrett rants about “broads” thinking they can compete with men in this ring. Remember Jeff is going to wrestle handcuffed. Tony: “That means he can’t use the Stroke or the guitar.” Yeah the guitar is illegal here, meaning it’s legal otherwise. Cat gets in a few cheap shots before the bell and Jones hammers away, only to kick the referee low by mistake. Jeff kicks her in the ribs to break up a guitar shot before knocking her out with it for the pin.

See, if they actually wanted to go with something interesting here, have the trained wrestler Madusa fight Jarrett in what could be an entertaining match. Instead, we get another woman getting beaten up with little to no defense.

Anyway post match, Awesome comes out to beat up the still handcuffed Jarrett.

Nash is drawing his plan on a dry erase board. After some jokes about anatomy, Steiner thinks he should win and throws a marker. Just have them SWERVE us already so they can laugh.

Post break, Jarrett is annoyed at Nash for not coming down to help him (Nash and Steiner had said they were turning off the monitor so it’s not a huge issue). Jarrett tells Nash to deal with their stupid friend.

Here’s Jim Duggan with something to say. Duggan is so thankful to have gotten through cancer and is glad to be back here with the fans. However, in the last few weeks, he’s been realizing that he can’t beat Father Time. He’s been around for twenty years and unlike some people, he’s fine with stepping aside so the young talent can make wrestling into something we can all be proud of.

Duggan announces his retirement before talking about how he needs someone to take up the 2×4 and the American flag. That man is General Rection and there goes the idea. Rection comes out and shakes Duggan’s hand but here are Lance Storm and Major Gunns (now in a Maple Leaf top and white shorts) with the former saying no one cares about this. A non-title match is set up and we’re on.

Lance Storm vs. General Rection

Storm stomps him down to start as Duggan jumps in on commentary to say “come on Hugh.” A suplex brings Rection over the ropes for two but he powerbombs Storm out of the air for two. No Laughing Matter misses and the Maple Leaf goes on but Duggan points out the arm under the ropes. Duggan gets knocked off the apron so he hits Storm with the 2×4, right into a powerslam for the pin. Well at least Duggan didn’t turn on America. That would have been ridiculous.

Stacy opens the letter she got earlier and freaks out.

It’s time for the wedding with the bride and groom down to the ring in a hurry. Naturally we get a promo with David talking about how he’s let a lot of people down. That means he’d like Arn Anderson to come out here right now. Anderson says it might not be today and it might not be tomorrow, but his 21 year old buddies are going to call him and ask him to do something. It’s easier to get forgiveness than permission.

Also hide some of that wedding money because one day you’re going to come home late and she’s going to get mad, but then she’ll tell you to go get a good night’s sleep. When that happens, take that money and RUN. That’s all the advise from Arn, which is a shame because that was hilarious.

David isn’t done yet though as he wants someone special down here as his best man: his dad, Ric Flair. Cue a smiling Ric, now with hair again (though it’s a bit spiky now instead of the classic style). Ric says he’s a proud father tonight and he can’t wait to have this beautiful woman as part of his family in the greatest city in the world. No drama here so it’s time for the wedding.

As the minister goes on, here are a bunch of security guards and cops to arrest Ric. Apparently Vince Russo has taken out a restraining order against him and Ric has to be arrested for coming within 100 feet of this building. Ric is arrested and taken away, sending Stacy running out of the ring. So in other words, even when he’s not here, HAHA MANLY RUSSO WINS!

After a break, Ric is put in a cop car and driven away. Arn promises to bail him out as soon as possible.

The announcers talk and you can see that the entire section off the floor behind the desk is empty. The whole arena only holds 9,600 people and assuming they have most of the fans on one side of the arena, they MIGHT have 2,000 people there.

We see some of Russo’s beatings and now it’s time for the video of his brain surgery. It’s accompanied by a doctor talking about how hard this has been on Russo and how he’ll be out for a long time. You know, because we need to feel sorry for our top heel. Tony doesn’t buy the story so maybe it’s not as stupid as it seems.

Sting vs. Harris Brothers

If Cat is in charge tonight, why did he book Sting like this? The Brothers have chains for whatever reason but Sting hits the Splash and gets Don in the Deathlock in about a minute. Ron makes the save so here’s Kronik with chains of their own to choke out the twins. The beating goes on for a long time and Sting is put on top for the pin. What was the point here? Sting has a match on Sunday but other than a quick mention, this was all about Kronik and the Brothers.

Steiner yells at Jarrett.

Stacy is still freaking out when David comes in. He doesn’t care about anything that happened tonight because he just wants to marry her. Stacy says no but he talks her into it.

It’s time for another try at the wedding with the minister talking about trust. That’s too much for Stacy because, shock and awe, David isn’t the father of the baby. David freaks and Stacy runs off. The announcers find this funny for some reason.

Post break, Stacy jumps in a limo and David can’t get there. We pan over to Awesome escorting Pamela onto the bus until Jarrett lays him out. The Thrillers come in to keep up the beating.

Steiner yells about his freaks and the Earth rotating on a 47 degree axis. He’ll beat on Goldberg too.

The announcers talk again and fans have been moved in to fill in the gap. I’m stunned that the production staff actually pays attention. Or that they exist for that matter.

WCW World Title: Kevin Nash vs. Scott Steiner

Nash is defending, Cat is on commentary, Booker T. is guest referee and Goldberg is enforcer. Before the match, Booker promises to get the title back on Sunday. Steiner (still with a protective mask on) isn’t interested in the fingerpoke so Nash tries to leave. That’s not cool with Scott so they actually start fighting. Nash takes over to start until Steiner scores with a clothesline and the bicep elbow. Booker counts slowly and it’s time to beat up the referee. Goldberg comes in and I’m assuming the match is thrown out somewhere in there.

Another referee tries to come in but gets sent to the floor as Steiner suplexes Goldberg. Booker is down on the floor and Cat stays on commentary as the good guys are beaten down. Cat finally takes a chair away from Steiner, allowing Goldberg to start his comeback. It’s Booker beating on Nash as it’s clear that a tag match would have been a decent idea here.

The other referee is circling this stuff like it’s a match for whatever reason….and here’s That 70s Bus down the aisle. The Thrillers come out and start brawling as well, followed by Jarrett with a pipe. Booker gets powerbombed and thrown through the windshield. Now it’s Goldberg being handcuffed to the front of the bus but he breaks the grill off as we go off the air.

Overall Rating: F. I know I say this a lot but what a mess this was. Sunday’s two big matches were set up a bit but there was just so much other stuff going on that there’s no way to get behind the show. The ending was a disaster and just another part of all the messiness that bogged the show down. The longest match was about four minutes (the opener) and the rest of the show was a combination of men beating on women, the double wedding and short angles disguised as matches.

I really don’t have an interest in Sunday’s show and so much of that is because I can barely remember most of the card. As usual, one of the major problems of this kind of booking is trying to keep track of why something happened. Why are Goldberg and Steiner fighting? I’m not entirely sure, though I’m sure it was some swerve that came a few weeks ago. The swerves kind of run together after awhile, especially when you can see them coming so far away. Russo really doesn’t have a ton of ideas and once you get a handle on him, any magic he might have goes away in a hurry. Really bad show this week but that’s to be expected.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder
Date: September 6, 2000
Location: Reed Arena, College Station, Texas
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Stevie Ray

We’re getting closer to Fall Brawl and we’re now past the big waste of time known as WarGames 2000. In theory that means it’s time to crank up the storylines but who knows what that could mean around here. To be fair though Thunder was actually a really good show last week so maybe I have some hope here. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

MI Smooth takes the Natural Born Thrillers to the Power Plant.

Kwee Wee vs. Lieutenant Loco

This has potential and is a #1 contenders match. Before they can get anything going, here are Elix Skipper and Major Gunns for commentary. Kwee Wee grabs a slam to start and stomps Chavo in the corner before throwing him down with a quick suplex. That’s fine with Chavo as he comes back with a quick brainbuster but can’t get the tornado DDT. They’re flying through this. Instead he shoves Kwee Wee away, only to get crotched by Paisley, allowing Kwee Wee to drop him with a hanging DDT for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C. As usual, letting the wrestlers wrestle is the best idea they can have around here. Kwee Wee is still working hard in the ring but there’s no way around this stupid gimmick. I mean, what is he supposed to do with a gimmick that is destined to stay a goofy comedy guy instead of anything serious?

Post match the three women (Tygress as the third) get in a fight, only to have Skipper pull Gunns away before the MIA can save her.

The announcers talk about the history between Goldberg and Bret Hart. I don’t know if WCW knew that Hart wasn’t going to be able to get in the ring again but this is pretty close to false advertising by implying that this was leading to a match.

The sitdown interview is with David Flair and Miss Hancock before their wedding on Monday. It’s about time they built that thing up.

We go back to the Power Plant with the Thrillers returning to their old stomping grounds. They offer to give the guys in the ring some training but Mike Graham actually gets Sanders in a Figure Four. The beatdown is on and the Thrillers leave them laying. A guy cleaning the floor gets beaten up too and it’s time for the big showdown with Paul Orndorff. They let themselves into his office and Paul tries to throw them out to no avail. Orndorff asks what happened to them but the Thrillers beat him down as well. Security finally breaks it up but this did its job.

It’s time for the sitdown interview with David Flair and Miss Hancock. Tenay gets right to the point by asking if Ric will be there. Didn’t we cover that on Monday with Arn? David hasn’t talked to his family but they’re welcome to come if they like. Mike calls Hancock a gold digger (she was reaching into David’s pockets for something) before asking if David will be a better father than Ric. They argue over whether that’s personal or not (it kind of is Mike) and that’s it. Mike gives them six months at most. So Gene’s gimmick is that he’s a dirty old man and Tenay’s is that he’s just a jerk while doing interviews? How does this help anything?

Goldberg is looking for Hart.

Clip from before Nitro of the Harris Twins beating Kronik down in a bar.

Kronik vs. 3 Count

Well last week the Dragons were beaten down so I guess it’s 3 Count’s turn. The band calls out the big guys and the beating is quickly on. Helms gets in a quick superkick on Clark but Karagias eats the full nelson slam. Not that it matters as the Harris Twins appear, drawing Kronik up the ramp for a countout. After destroying 3 Count of course.

Post match Tank Abbott comes out and pummels 3 Count to make sure they get nothing out of this show.

Bret is here and has security guarding his locker room. Smart.

Crowbar says he’s ready for Troy Martin (Shane Douglas). Again I ask: how does this help anything? Yeah that’s his real name and how does that make me want to see their match any more?

It’s time to make things even worse as we have the debut of the Lava Lamp Lounge, as in Mike Awesome’s 70s themed talk show. Apparently he isn’t just into fat chicks anymore because there’s enough Vitamin A to go around. His guest tonight: Paula Pamshock (exactly as he said it).

As expected Awesome hits on her with some of the worst lines you’ve ever heard until Jeff Jarrett comes out for the interruption. Jarrett: “You look like a cross between John Travolta in Saturday Night Live and Austin Powers.” That might be worse than Paula Pamshock. It’s the big brawl with the set being destroyed but Okerlund runs out to save Pamela from the guitar shot, which takes Awesome out instead. Predictable but fine, save for the horrible screwing up lines.

Crowbar vs. Shane Douglas

Now remember: real names were used so this is a big deal. Before the match, Shane rips on Goldberg because that’s still supposed to be a thing. Crowbar has taped ribs so Shane goes after them before the bell, only to get punched and bitten in the corner. A baseball slide sends Shane to the floor and Crowbar, with the bad ribs, does his splash off the apron. Maybe it’s because he’s crazy?

Shane gets smart and sends Crowbar ribs first into the barricade a few times before throwing on an abdominal stretch back inside. The hold is broken as quickly as most other abdominal stretches are after 1958 and Crowbar starts whipping him with a belt. The northern lights suplex and Death Valley Driver get two each on Shane but Crowbar goes after Torrie (for interfering) and walks into the Franchiser for the pin.

Rating: D. This could have been good had Crowbar remembered he had bad ribs to start and if I didn’t have to listen to Shane doing his really weak heel stuff before the match. I’m really not sure what they’re going for with Shane at the moment as the feud with Kidman hasn’t been mentioned in a week, though I’m sure it’s supposed to be a big enough deal that we just go with it.

Post match Daffney comes out to brawl with Torrie. Ozzy (the boyfriend) comes out but gets beaten down by Shane. This brings out Madusa of all people to drop Shane with an enziguri.

Goldberg beats up the security guards and there’s no Bret inside.

Here’s Bret with something to say. He wants to know what happened to wrestling with people like Mike Awesome being wasted in stuff like that segment he was just in. Vince Russo has the stroke around here but everyone knows he’s the best in the world. Bret has beaten everyone in the WWF and now he’s beaten everyone here too, including Goldberg. The only person that ever gave him a chance was Vince Russo, who gave him title shots the second he got here.

We see the Bret Killer Kick from Starrcade, which cost him millions of dollars. “I couldn’t even buy that ranch I wanted.” Goldberg claims to be some kind of animal activist but he treated Bret worse than any animal. Cue Goldberg to say if this was the normal version of him, he’d have already taken Bret’s head off. Believe it or not, he has some remorse. There are times where he wishes it was him that got his head kicked off. Bret wishes that every day because all Goldberg cares about is his merchandise being on the shelf.

Goldberg says he was doing his job but every night he has to wonder. When Goldberg was growing up, Bret was one of the people he looked up to. Goldberg is 34 here so the timing doesn’t work here, but he tries to leave because Bret isn’t worth it anymore. Bret says Goldberg isn’t the real thing and that’s enough to get him back in the ring. Cue Scott Steiner with a pipe to lay Goldberg out and put him in the Recliner.

WCW Motorsports, with Vampiro completely out of character.

Steiner leaves the building.

Tag Team Titles: Filthy Animals vs. Harris Brothers

The Brothers are challenging while Konnan/Disqo do commentary. Juvy starts fast with a springboard dropkick to we’ll say Ron before it’s off to Don for some no selling and power beating. A sideslam gets two and it’s already Juvy in trouble. It’s back to Ron (like it matters) who gets kicked in the face and taken down by a springboard bulldog.

Rey finally gets the tag as everything breaks down, including Tygress coming in for a Bronco Buster. Juvy gets kicked low but here’s Kronik because we didn’t have enough interference yet. Kronik lays out Disqo for no apparent reason before Clark throws Rey at one of the Brothers for the pin to retain.

Rating: D. I’d still love to hear the pitch meeting where the Harris Brothers got jobs for so long. Was there really any good reason to go with the other than they’re big and look alike? I’m really not sure what the appeal is of them looking alike as they wrestle the same style anyway. At least with a team like the Usos you get something entertaining more often than not. The Harris Brothers are just big generic power guys who happen to be identical. That warrants employment for some reason.

Video on WarGames, which means the whole show.

After the show, Booker and his friends/family promised to get the title back at Fall Brawl. Cool moment, which is why it wasn’t on Nitro but Russo got to talk about 18 times.

Video on Sting vs. Vampiro, which is continuing for whatever reason.

Sting vs. Vampiro

Anything goes and we’re getting the Clowns on commentary to make this show so much better. The Clowns introduce themselves and offer “Tony Zimbabwe” three dollars to shill for JCW. This is also NOT for the JCW Title because Sting hasn’t beaten Mad Man Pondo. They head outside to start with Vampiro sending him into the barricade before taking it into the crowd.

We get the usual punching and walking until Sting takes it back to ringside for a whip into the barricade of his own. Sting goes face first into the announcers’ table so J can get in a right hand to the head. The Iranian Judo Attack (a clothesline) puts Sting down but he pops up and sends the Clowns running away. A lame chair to the head drops Vampiro and they head back inside as the Clowns freak out that Tony has lost his coloring book.

Vampiro comes back with chops but we might have some stolen food stamps. The Olive Loaf Chop staggers Sting but he slams Vampiro off the top for a comeback. Vampiro starts in on the leg (with the Saline Sam Coconut Crunch Lock) before kicking Sting in the face. There’s the Stinger Splash but but Shaggy throws the JCW Title at Sting’s leg. Not that it matters as the Death Drop knocks Vampiro silly for the pin. However, JCW rules say the loser wins and $5 of your ticket cost will go into Violent J’s pockets.

Rating: D+. The commentary was absolutely hilarious and the wrestling was really just there as a backdrop. The Clowns may not be the best wrestlers in the world (or really even close) but at leas they’re good for something around here. I really wish we could get past this Sting vs. Vampiro nonsense, but what in the world could they have for either guy next?

Post match Sting gets beaten down until Great Muta makes the save.

Goldberg is in the ring and calls out Bret Hart for a fight right here. Instead he gets Team Canada because they’re all the same right?

Team Canada vs. Goldberg

Goldberg yawns through the Canadian national anthem and the Canadians argue over who has to start. Storm throws Skipper at Goldberg and it’s a spear to the Cruiserweight Champion in about ten seconds. There goes Storm up the ramp but General Rection cuts him off. Back in and the spear into the Jackhammer ends Storm with ease. So much for the titles meaning anything around here.

Overall Rating: D+. This was a story heavy show but not in the stupid way that Nitro tends to go. I can live with a show that focuses on talking and setting up things for later, but it really doesn’t matter if the stories don’t have the chance to go anywhere when every Monday gets more and more insane. We’ve actually reached the point where Thunder is the bright spot in WCW and I’m not sure how to handle that.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro #256
Date: September 4, 2000
Location: Reunion Arena, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jeremy Borash, Mark Madden

This is a special (kind of) show for me as I remembered hearing about WarGames 2000 on Thunder and wanting to see it. Being a moron of twelve at the time, I stayed home to watch that while Monday Night Raw was taking place ten minutes from my house and a buddy of mine had an extra ticket. To this day I can’t explain what I was thinking. Let’s get to it.

On a side note: this is five years to the day that Nitro debuted.

We open with a video on tonight’s big triple cage match with the teams announced. It’s a four on four match with the World Title on the line, which already gives us a lapse in logic. The match is also called Russo’s Revenge because WARGAMES isn’t MANLY enough.

Team Russo (Russo/Nash/Jarrett/Steiner) are coming to the ring.

New opening sequence.

Tag Team Titles: Insane Clown Posse vs. Juventud Guerrera/Rey Mysterio Jr.

The Clowns are challenging for reasons I’ll never understand. Konnan does his intro but gets jumped from behind to get things going. It’s a brawl to start with Rey dropkicking Violent J to the floor for a double dive from the champs. Back in and Shaggy dropkicks Juvy out of the air to let the Clowns take over.

Borash to Konnan and Disqo on commentary: “Do the ICP have it like that?” Somehow this turns into a discussion of Richard Gere as Shaggy takes Air Juvy (Poetry in Motion) and a Bronco Buster from Rey, only to have the Clowns pop up like it was nothing. J presses Rey over his head but gets dropkicked down, setting up a double dropkick from the champs. What’s Up with a legdrop instead of a headbutt puts J down to retain the titles.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here as the Clowns were kept to a minimum and mainly just had Rey and Juvy do all the work. The Clowns aren’t the worst in the ring but they definitely need someone to walk them through the match. I’m still not sure why the Animals turned face but at least Rey and Juvy, the most natural underdog team ever, aren’t supposed to be intimidating anymore.

Team Canada is in the gym and Storm is putting Major Gunns through boot camp. Gunns has to be taught to work as hard as a Canadian, which is nothing more than a reason to have her running on a treadmill.

Booker T., The Cat and Ms. Jones (in a neck brace) leave their hotel.

The triple cage is lowered way too early because here’s Russo, flanked by the Thrillers, with something to say. In case you’ve never seen it, the structure is the Cell with a hardcore (weapons cage) on top with a one man cage on top of that for one of the biggest things you’ll see in wrestling. Russo takes a quick shot at the Dallas Cowboys before explaining the idea of how you win this mess. Unlike Slamboree, you have to climb the ladder and get the belt at the top of the cage and then bring it back down and go out the door.

Tonight it’s going to be the babyface team against the heel team (his words), though he claims that Team Russo will be the babyfaces. Also there’s been an injunction that means Cat has no power. Therefore, the heels (as in Goldberg/Sting/Cat/Booker T.), all have to win qualifying matches to get into WarGames. If Goldberg actually wins, Russo will waive the no contact clause. It’s going to be so big that Nash is going to hand Russo the World Title on a plate. This brings out Nash who doesn’t look pleased. Yeah I’m sure.

Nash says this isn’t how things work because his title isn’t on the line unless he says it’s on the line. He only has to defend it once a month and maybe he’ll do it on the 29^th day at the 11^th hour if he feels like it. Russo says he’s the boss but Nash says in this cage, he’s Russo’s daddy. The lights go out and here’s Sting coming through a hole in the ring. Nash flips Russo off and leaves, allowing Sting to get in Russo’s face and say it’s showtime. No contact of course because that’s Vince Russo but whatever.

Sting turns back around so Russo climbs a ladder to get to the second cage. Sting chases him up but Scott Steiner and Jeff Jarrett come in. The Thrillers come in and move the ladder so here are Booker and the Cat to take them out. Russo uses the numbers game to get down but here’s Goldberg (fresh out of the desert, which hasn’t been mentioned yet) to chase him off. Geez people. You’re having an eight person triple cage match later and you felt the need to have a big segment inside the cage as well? On five days’ notice? Really?

Post break (and recap), Steiner and Jarrett yell at Russo for ticking Nash off.

Jeremy Borash is bald and we actually get a video of the Nitro Girls shaving his head. This was something about a ratings bet with Russo that isn’t elaborated on, thank goodness.

Here are the Harris Brothers with some footage to show us. It’s a clip of them going to a bar where Kronik is drinking and starting a fight. This has nothing on the Friendly Tap.

Shane Douglas wants Goldberg in a qualifying match so Russo grants the wish to get rid of him. The catch is Shane wants the Thrillers but Torrie says he doesn’t need them. Torrie and Shane leave so Russo sends the Thrillers out to keep an eye on him.

WarGames Qualifying Match: Sting vs. Great Muta/Vampiro

I’m assuming Muta and Vampiro can get into the cage if they win. Muta and Vampiro double team him to start but Sting clotheslines Vampiro to the floor. Back in and Vampiro grabs Sting but takes the Mist to the face by mistake. Muta is sent outside and a Death Drop pins Vampiro in just over a minute.

Post match the Clowns come out to yell at Muta but nothing happens.

Major Gunns, now drenched in sweat, is on another exercise machine and the camera just happens to be looking down at her in a low cut top.

Russo makes Stevie Ray wrestle tonight by threatening to take away his Thunder commentary job.

Jarrett tells Nash to get over his issues with Russo. Nash threatens to switch teams tonight.

WarGames Qualifying Match: Booker T. vs. Stevie Ray

Stevie says this is for the fans instead of Russo. Booker gives Russo his catchphrase and Stevie jumps him from behind to take over early on. Ray sends him face first into the steps for two before bending Booker’s arms back to slow things down. Back up and Booker hits a quick forearm to set up the ax kick. The Harlem Side Kick is caught in a kind of powerbomb but the Slap Jack is countered with a backdrop. The Book End sends Booker to the main event in a hurry.

Post match Booker yells at Stevie for jumping him. The explanation: suckas gots to know and a hug. Ok then.

Kronik asks the Jung Dragons where the Harris Brothers are but beats them up for not speaking English. Totally not a Kai En Tai knockoff.

Back from a break and Kronik triple chokeslams 3 Count for fun. They want the Harris Brothers right now but get Jeff Jarrett instead. The tag match isn’t happening tonight but here’s a handicap match for them instead.

WarGames Qualifying Match: The Cat vs. Kronik

Cat says they should be getting together to fight Russo and company. Clark agrees and goes after Jeff, leaving Cat to roll Adams up for two. The beatdown is on but Cat drops to the floor to save Ms. Jones from Jarrett. Kronik pulls Cat back inside for High Times and the pin in less than a minute and a half. So Kronik is in the match instead.

Russo and Steiner are thrilled by the result……until it’s announced that Kronik advances instead. YOU MADE THE MATCH AND YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW THE RULES??? You can’t make this stuff up.

WarGames Qualifying Match: Shane Douglas vs. Goldberg

Torrie, really not very good on the mic yet, yells about being stuck in Dallas for the night. Shane gets shoved down to start and a quick legbar sends him out to the floor. Goldberg fires off a forearm but hits the post instead of Shane, giving Douglas a target. Back in and Shane works on a wristlock which goes as well as you would expect it to go. A clothesline with the bar arm drops Shane (no selling of course) and here are the Thrillers. They’re beaten down just as quickly with Reno taking a Roll the Dice. Douglas loads up the chain but gets speared down to set up the Jackhammer for the pin.

Rating: D. For an evil genius, Russo does some really stupid stuff. With that win, Goldberg is in the cage and can beat on Russo, all because of Russo’s doing. The match itself was as good as Shane Douglas vs. Goldberg in an overbooked match was going to be though at least we could look at Torrie.

Russo panics because he doesn’t think thinks through. Nash tells him he has an agenda tonight and Russo is foiled again.

Major Gunns is swimming for her final test to become Canadian. Well they might have been too subtle earlier so just put her in a swimsuit and be done with it. The Misfits are watching with binoculars from all of twenty feet away. Pamela Paulshock is thrown in as well so here are the Misfits to fight the Canadians in the pool.

Russo puts Vito in a gauntlet match against the Thrillers. That’s their final chance.

Arn Anderson is asked about whether he’ll show up for David’s wedding next week. After saying Pamela looks good soaking wet (he has a point), he wonders why someone like David would want to get married anyway. It’s in Horsemen country though so sure they’ll show up. The fact that the only thing they build up for weeks is likely another chance to humiliate Ric Flair is very telling about WCW.

Big Vito vs. Natural Born Thrillers

Vito says he doesn’t sweat anyone so bring it on. The Thrillers do their catchphrases so Vito turns it into gay jokes. After even more filler yelling at each other, Sanders says the five of them (there are six) will fight at the same time. Vito fights with the stick ball bat for as long as he can until Jindrak and O’Haire kick him in the face. The beating is on as you would expect and it’s a parade of finishers, capped off with the Seanton Bomb for the easy pin.

The Thrillers beat him down even more post match.

The teams have meetings in the back.

The good guys, minus Goldberg, are ready.

WCW World Title: WarGames 2000: Vince Russo/Kevin Nash/Scott Steiner/Jeff Jarrett vs. Sting/Kronik/Booker T./Goldberg

Nash is defending and the teams are only a thing for the timed interval (two minutes) entrances. The match can end at anytime and it’s Jarrett vs. Sting to start. They fight on the floor next to the ladder (needed to climb to the second cage) before throwing the ladder inside. Sting sends him into the ladder and it’s Scott Steiner in because the heels won the coin toss. Wait didn’t Russo say his team was the babyface team? So officially, the faces won the coin toss? Leave it to Russo to screw up the easiest idea in wrestling (which I believe he did in TNA’s Lethal Lockdown match as well).

Steiner hits Sting in the ribs to take over and brings in a bigger ladder but stops to beat on Sting even more. Kronik, meaning both of them, come in to “even” things up. Steiner heads up to the second cage, leaving Jarrett to take High Times, allowing Kronik to follow Steiner up top. A double gorilla press drops Steiner as the question becomes if Adams or Clark wins the title for themselves since they entered the match as a unit.

Russo comes in next but has the Harris Brothers climb the Cell and go inside the second cage after Kronik. As you might expect, Sting beats Russo down with ease and puts him in the Scorpion (of course Russo never taps). Now it’s Nash coming in as the heel/face order is thrown out. Nash goes after everyone and grabs Russo (standing with no issues after being in the Scorpion) by the throat but Steiner breaks it up. The Harris Brothers and Kronik are brawling in the crowd, apparently with Kronik having been eliminated. In WarGames.

Now Steiner breaks up Nash’s choke on Jarrett as Booker comes in. Booker ax kicks Steiner so Russo hits him from behind like a moron, earning himself an ax kick to the helmet. Yeah he’s wearing a helmet. Nash decks Booker and everyone still in the match is in the bottom cage. The heels all beat down Booker and Sting until Goldberg comes out to complete the field. Jarrett and Steiner take the bullets for Russo, leaving him to hit Goldberg in the back with the ball bat to drop Goldberg.

Booker goes up top for the belt (Yeah remember that?) as Nash stands next to the door. Well that’s smart, even though you could conceivably just climb down the side of the cage to get to the floor. Somewhere in there Goldberg was handcuffed to the corner. You would think they would have pointed that out earlier. Sting, Jarrett and Steiner go up to the second cage, leaving Booker to go up and get the belt. Booker starts hitting people with the belt to get down but Sting has been handcuffed to the weapons cage, allowing Steiner to take the belt away from Booker and blast him in the face.

Madden admits there are no teams in this mess as the belt falls through the hole. Russo picks it up and taunts Goldberg, allowing the Cat to come in and kick Russo in the head. Nash lays out Cat with a Jackknife but Goldberg breaks the handcuffs and cleans house. He picks up the belt and goes to leave but Bret Hart appears and slams the door on his face. Russo has the belt free and clear until Nash grabs him by the shirt. They hug, it was a swerve, and Nash retains.

Rating: D+. Let’s get this out of the way to start: this wasn’t WarGames. Russo can call it that all he wants but this had as much to do with WarGames as the set of collectable plates that McDonalds put out in 1998 to promote Hercules. This was a big cage match with timed intervals and that’s about it for WarGames connections.

That being said, the match was enough of a mess that it wasn’t boring and at least presented something that could be interesting if someone competent was booking the thing. It would have been a lot better if it had been just going up and getting the belt without having to get back down but you knew Nash wasn’t going up that high. It’s total insanity of course, but were you expecting anything else?

Here’s the thing though: it’s a huge waste of time. Think about it: this match was announced last Wednesday, had its main story set up earlier in the night, and the match happened tonight. Nothing changes in the storylines, Nash is still facing Booker at the pay per view, and it was all a big swerve for a few hours. At least it was memorable though, which is Russo’s definition of good.

Overall Rating: D. The main event helped a bit but an hour and a half of nothing matches before the main event isn’t the best idea with one more Nitro before the pay per view. However, I’d rather watch a somewhat interesting one off show than the traditional insanity that I have to put up with when they try to do multiple storylines. On a sidenote: where was Mike Awesome? He was part of the team on Thunder and I don’t think he was even mentioned here. That’s probably best for him actually.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Thunder
Date: August 30, 2000
Location: Tuscon Convention Center, Tuscon, Arizona
Commentators: Stevie Ray, Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay

This is another case where just getting up to a coherent show would be a huge improvement over what they had on Monday. Thunder isn’t usually the best show in the world but at least it has a tendency to make sense. Nash is the World Champion now, which could actually work if he puts Booker over at the pay per view. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap from Nitro. Normally editing things down to a few minutes works but in this case, the show is still a disaster.

Here’s Team Canada with the captured Major Gunns in the ring. Elix Skipper says “Show me the Canadian money!” Gunns has to hold the flag and rolls her eyes throughout Storm’s speech about how we all want to be Canadians. The Canadian national anthem plays so Gunns drops the flag and rips her top off to reveal an American flag bra. Cue Team Canada’s opponents.

Team Canada vs. Kronik

Storm is sent to the floor and Adams launches Skipper down on top of him. We settle down with Clark stomping away at Skipper in the corner. Tony promises the announcement of a first time ever match this coming Monday on Nitro. A double shoulder drops Skipper and he dives backwards into a full nelson slam, only to have Storm springboard in with a clothesline for two. Tony: “One, two, HE ALMOST BEAT HIM!” Yeah because the US Champion getting a pin would be shocking.

Adams clotheslines both guys down and brings in Clark for the Meltdown on Skipper for two. Storm breaks up High Times and goes for the flag, only to have Gunns jab him between the legs. The full nelson slam and High Times puts Storm away, because why not pin the US Champion in a nothing match?

Rating: C-. Not the worst power vs. speed match as I could watch Storm being that smooth in the ring all day. The guy just looks natural flying around at a level that almost no one else reaches. I didn’t like the ending but at least the match leading up to it was good enough and we’re off to a nice start.

Post match here’s General Rection comes down to try to save Gunns but the Canadians fight back, drawing out the rest of the Misfits for the save. The Canadians get away with Gunns.

The Natural Born Thrillers are ready for a limo but it’s Nash and Steiner. The new champ wants to have fun tonight “and that’s a shoot.”

We see a clip of the Thunder Tailgate Party. Ignore Vito still wearing the Hardcore Title, making this a month old at least.

Here are Steiner, Jarrett, Nash and the Thrillers (you knew the mega heel stable was coming) with Scott going first. Apparently he isn’t allowed to call Goldberg all the names he wants because the corporate sponsors won’t let him. Some villain. He got hit in the face with a pipe on Monday and has the banged up eyes to prove it. After Steiner swears a bit (that’s more like it), he promises to take care of Goldberg at Fall Brawl.

Nash talks about winning the World Title for the fifth time on Monday. Stevie: “And no one remembers the first four.” Well to be fair those, three of those reigns combined to last about two weeks. He’s watched the tape back a few times and sees why Jarrett played it so fair during the match: Jeff wanted Nash to win the title on his own, because Nash wanted to do it for the people. Gee I just thought it was bad writing.

The fans actually cheer the line (save for Daffney and the Crowbar look-a-like, who are in the audience for some reason) and Nash chuckles. All that means is more people willing to pay another $30 at an autograph signing because their picture has the belt in it. Nash touts the Thrillers as the future and says Goldberg is out in the desert so there’s no one to stop them tonight.

Cue Booker to say he has a clique of his own, so here are Vito, Awesome and the Filthy Animals. So the clique known as the Animals are part of an even bigger clique? You think you might be overdoing this faction war stuff? Booker is worried about the guys in the ring taking over WCW and the fight is on until security makes the save.

A few notes here. First, I don’t really see why this is a problem since we’ve established that Cat is more powerful than Russo. Second, this was actually a well done segment with the storyline being laid out right in front of us. That’s one area where Russo excels: he can set up a big story really, really well.

Unfortunately that brings us to the third point: we’re going to have to see where this goes and that’s Russo’s downfall. He can set stuff up but at some point he has to execute those stories and the whole thing collapses. On top of that, if you’ve seen one Russo faction war story, you’ve seen them all. Thankfully this one is off to a good start though and you have to take the little things while you can. Oh and ignore the setup having plot holes the size of Russo’s MANLY biceps of course.

Back from a break and we see Nash taking over the control booth during the commercial. Apparently he’s in charge now and sends Reno to face Mike Awesome.

Rection wants Storm at Fall Brawl. For AMERICA. And Gunns.

Wedding invitation for a week from Monday.

Reno vs. Mike Awesome

Awesome is in ring gear here, which really makes me wonder why the 70s thing existed. He doesn’t wear the stuff to the ring and wrestles the same so why do it other than to amuse the writers? Awesome elbows him in the face to start and throws him down with a German suplex for no cover.

The slingshot shoulder gets two for Mike and we hear about War Games 2000 airing this Monday on Nitro, meaning it’s the first time ever both A, on TV and B, for the World Title. Thanks for giving us a full FIVE DAYS notice for this huge match. Reno gets in a shot to the ribs but stops to go after Daffney’s boyfriend (Ozzie) for no apparent reason. Stevie: “How did they get front row seats in this venue?” Back in and Mike grabs the Awesome Bomb for a quick pin. Stevie: “BUT HOW DID THEY GET THE SEATS TONY???”

Rating: D+. Another match that didn’t have enough time to go anywhere and the Ozzie stuff didn’t make much sense. Reno is yet another guy with a great look who could have been something if he was given the chance. Awesome did his usual but he was really just a warm body here, which is yet another waste of talent.

Reno beats up Ozzie and Daffney throws popcorn.

During the break, Jarrett jumped Awesome until Jimmy Hart and Finlay of all people broke it up. I like this attacks during the break stuff. There’s something so fake about having nothing happen until we’re back from a commercial.

This week’s sitdown interview is with Paul Orndorff earlier today in the empty arena. Tony asks about Orndorff being in charge of the Power Plant. Paul calls the students his kids and he’s so proud of all of them. The Power Plant is brutal but he’s looking for the best of the best (I guess Batista isn’t considered that great).

Orndorff keeps the students working hard and has them clean the place because they need to learn that no one is above anything. Tony brings up the Natural Born Thrillers having no respect for Orndorff and claiming that it was their talent that got them here. Mike Sanders called Orndorff a miserable old man and that’s more than enough for Paul.

It’s time for an old school rant with Paul talking about how these kids are ungrateful and how they were nothing before he got hold of them. Tony keeps egging him on by saying how often the Thrillers talk like this and you can see Orndorff getting madder and madder because this is what he gets every time he tries to help someone. Really good stuff from Orndorff here as he gets the role perfectly and nailed it, as most old school guys can.

Back live and here are the Thrillers with signs about Orndorff, including “Your best match was against Vader” and “Aren’t you dead yet?” The signs are turned around to spell out WE RULE.

Steiner hits Reno with a pipe for losing.

Booker says his knee is fine and he’s ready for Mike Sanders tonight.

Tag Team Titles: Rey Mysterio/Juventud Guerrera vs. Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak

Jindrak and O’Haire are challenging, as ordered by Nash and company. Before we get started, O’Haire says we’ll make it fair by letting Disqo be on the team. Or we could just have a tag match but that might make too much sense. Konnan sits in on commentary. O’Haire slams Disqo down to start and hits that sweet springboard clothesline of his. Disqo gets in a few shots and wisely brings in Juvy for some quick legdrops.

Off to Rey for the Bronco Buster but he dives into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. It’s off to Jindrak who gets two off a clothesline, followed by a nice Torture Rack neckbreaker for two more. Mark misses a dropkick though and it’s off to Juvy for some dropkicks of his own. In the melee, O’Haire gets in a quick tag, allowing Jindrak to throw Juvy into the air for a powerslam from Sean.

Juvy rolls to the floor so Sean hiptosses him over the top and back inside. There’s something awesome about small people being thrown around like that. Back in and the hot tag brings in Rey as everything breaks down. O’Haire kicks Disqo in the face but Juvy breaks up the Seanton Bomb and pulls Sean down with a hurricanrana. A quick Rey legdrop between the legs retains the titles.

Rating: B-. Now this is how you do the power vs. speed formula. This worked really well back and forth, even if the idea of the champions having the advantage goes completely against face/heel psychology. Jindrak and O’Haire’s good looking tandem stuff makes up for it though, along with Juvy and Rey bumping like pinballs.

Mike Sanders gets Booker T. tonight. Jarrett comes in and says he’s booked himself in a match that could end his career. Just give us the comedy reveal already.

Steiner attacks Jindrak and O’Haire as well.

Mike Sanders vs. Booker T.

Sanders tells Booker to bring it so here’s a livid Mr. T. Booker drops him with an early clothesline and hammers away with right hands in the corner. The ax kick, side kick and Book End put Sanders away in barely a minute.

Post break Booker is limping and Sanders gets beaten down as well.

Jarrett is getting his blood pressure checked before his big intimidating match.

Big Vito vs. Chuck Palumbo

This is the result of a Vito challenge. They trade early slams for two until Vito grabs a suplex and drops the top rope elbow. The top rope headbutt misses though and Palumbo hits a nice top rope shoulder for two of his own. Not that it matters as Vito hits him in the ribs and scores with the implant DDT for another quick win. So much for Nash’s boys being, you know, good.

Steiner beats up Palumbo as well. Good for him as Palumbo should be able to last two minutes against Big Vito.

Harris Twins vs. Misfits in Action

AWOL/Rection here. It’s a big fight to start as is almost always the custom in tag matches around here. The Misfits take over with AWOL working over we’ll say Don as things settle down. Since that’s too calm for WCW, here’s Storm with Major Gunns for a distraction. AWOL goes through a table because what else is he supposed to do. The H Bomb is broken up by Rection, who loads up No Laughing Matter, only to have Skipper come out and hit him with the flag. Isn’t that disrespecting the Maple Leaf? We’re still not done though as Kronik comes in for High Times on Ron, setting up No Laughing Matter for the pin.

Rating: D. Well you knew something like this was coming. Who in the world thought we needed five people running in and a weapon shot on a quick TV match? The Misfits are another team that could go somewhere if there weren’t so many factions on the show that take up space. We’re currently at seven stables and counting (Misfits, Thrillers, Team Canada, Nash’s group, Booker’s group, Filthy Animals, Dark Carnival) so how exactly are the Misfits supposed to stand out?

AWOL saves Rection from Storm.

Leia Meow whips the Dragons for losing so much. If they don’t get better, they have to lick her boots. Ok then.

Steiner and Nash interrupt Jarrett at prayer and offer to have his back out there tonight. Jarrett has to do this himself.

Jeff Jarrett vs. ???

It’s Kwee Wee. There’s nothing else to say here and if you’ve ever watched wrestling before, you knew a swerve was coming the whole way. Jarrett jumps him at the bell as Paisley sits in on commentary. Kwee Wee gets slugged down as Stevie talks about keeping his yaks intact. A hiptoss and back elbow put Jarrett down but he sidesteps a missile dropkick.

Jeff loads up the Stroke but throws him down when Mike Awesome comes out for a distraction. A quick rollup gets two on Jeff but the referee gets rid of Awesome, allowing Jeff to….do nothing. Kwee Wee tries what looks like a powerbomb but drops Jarrett for two instead. The Stroke wraps it up pretty quick.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as you could see the joke from the second they announced this in the first place. At least in this case they weren’t really trying to hide it which makes this a lot easier to sit through. Nash and Steiner playing along helped and at least the match was short enough.

Here’s Shawn Stasiak for an arm wrestling challenge. As you might expect, here’s Orndorff to answer as well as scare Stasiak half to death. Paul almost has it won but then punches Shawn in the face like a ticked off veteran should. There’s a piledriver for Stasiak before Orndorff grabs a chair and fights off the rest of the Thrillers. This REALLY hasn’t been their night but Orndorff is already better than most of the people on this show.

Cat and Ms. Jones get here.

Here’s Cat in the arena to call out Nash, who works for Russo who works for Cat. Therefore it’s time for Cat vs. Nash….which doesn’t actually start as Cat has to beat up Steiner and Jarrett. Nash comes in with a ball bat because THE CAT is just so tough. Jones tries to slap Jeff but gets guitared, which finally draws out Booker to help. The Thrillers come out and keep the beating going to end the show. I have no idea why the Animals, Awesome or Vito didn’t come out to help but that’s continuity for you.

Overall Rating: B-. This was the best Thunder in probably a year at least. Well at least the first half was as the rest turned into another goofy mess. The key thing here is they toned down all the ridiculous insanity and just told their big story with wrestling matches. That’s one of the things that drives me craziest about Russo: there’s good(ish) stuff buried deep under the mess, but there’s so much bad to get through that it’s hard to keep trying. Still though, awesome first hour this week and not a bad enough second hour to kill it.

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Monday Nitro #253
Date: August 14, 2000
Location: Skyreach Place, Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada
Commentators: Scott Hudson, Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden

We’ve gotten through New Blood Rising and now it’s time to get ready for another of WCW’s grand pay per views in Fall Brawl. Booker T. is still World Champion and now gets to defend against Kevin Nash, who survived the totally real triple threat last night. I’m not sure why but I have a feeling this show is going to be bad. Let’s get to it.

We open with Russo and Tank Abbott in the ring with Vince in full on heel mode, ranting about getting rid of someone a month ago. That piece of censored has been gone ever since and now Russo is going to make another example out of another piece of censored on live TV. Russo is here tonight to fire Goldberg on live TV.

However, Brad Siegel won’t let him do that because the fans love him. Well screw the fans and screw Goldberg. Hudson: “He doesn’t need the practice.” Tank is here to beat Goldberg up once and for all and Russo yells at some more fans. Apparently Goldberg doesn’t know the script or the storyline because he doesn’t come out. Since no one comes out, Russo tells production to go to a break. Good grief. I mean….good grief man. This is how they open the show? That’s their best idea?

We come back with a camera on the announcers and Russo demanding that they show the clip. That sends up to a video of Goldberg coming out to fight Tank during the break. Wait or is this live? Goldberg easily gets the better of it and threatens to break Tank’s arm as Russo freaks out AGAIN and demands that we go to a second break inside of twelve minutes.

Apparently Russo has booked Nash vs. Steiner tonight because last night’s match didn’t count. Again I say: whatever. Oh and Booker vs. Jarrett again.

Shane Douglas/Reno vs. Big Vito/Kidman

Before the match, Shane promises to hurt Kidman again. It’s a brawl to start of course with all four fighting on the floor and Madden freaking out over the chance of someone attacking the table. Vito easily fights out of a double team because Reno and Shane aren’t the best fighters in the world. Kidman finally stops chasing Torrie around and cross bodies both of them down. As usual we have no tagging as Vito clotheslines Shane out to the floor. Kidman gets crotched on top but Vito is able to drop a top rope elbow for the pin on Reno.

Rating: D. Total mess here as is almost the case when WCW tries to put together a match. The idea of having two feuds put together into one match is usually a good idea but the Shane vs. Kidman feud is getting tiresome and Reno vs. Vito isn’t really a feud yet. It might be nice if we were told why they were fighting in the first place but I doubt WCW knows yet.

Shane pulls out some handcuffs but gets tied to the turnbuckle for his efforts. This brings out Jindrak, O’Haire and the Perfect Event to beat down Kidman and Vito. Reno leaves with them.

The Filthy Animals want to keep up their relationship with the Cat and offer him a personal assistant named Miss Jones. I think you get the implication here.

David Flair is still covered in mud from last night. Major Gunns comes up to ask if Miss Hancock is ok but David just walks away without saying anything.

We look back at the mud match from last night as David is in the ring. He rambles about what happened last night and how scared he is. Gunns is freaking out in the back while the Misfits play cards. As David keeps going on about being scared, Gunns comes out crying, saying it’s her fault because she kicked Hancock in the stomach. David really should know that already shouldn’t he? He yells at Gunns a lot until Hancock comes out, apparently just fine after last night. Again, shouldn’t David know that Hancock is here and fine? Hancock of course says she’s pregnant and Davis is so thrilled that he struts.

Here’s Lance Storm for a match but first up he gets to address his home country. Storm says it’s good to be home and wrestling in front of some real wrestling fans. WCW has thrown people at him left and right but he keeps making them tap out to the Maple Leaf. Cue the Cat to insult the Canadian fans quite a bit. It seems that a lot of the people in WCW really don’t like Canada. Cat rips on Storm for using the Canadian rule book last night and grants Mike Awesome a rematch tonight with himself as guest referee.

US Title: Mike Awesome vs. Lance Storm

Storm is defending and Cat is referee in the first rematch from last night. Awesome charges to the ring and gets dropkicked down in the first ten seconds for a very delayed two count. A splash gets two for Mike as the fans are all over the USA. Mike drops a slingshot splash to the back for two more as this is one of the most all over the places face/heel dynamic I’ve ever seen. Storm dropkicks him down again but stops to argue with Cat, allowing Awesome to grab a German suplex.

The Awesome bomb plants Storm but Jacques Rougeau comes in to attack Cat. Mike goes to beat him up too but Carl Ouellet, as in Quebecer Pierre, comes in to double team Awesome. The Cannonball (their old team finisher) sets up the Maple Leaf. Cat gets back up but here’s Elix Skipper of all people comes out and lays him out. Ouellet grabs Mike’s unconscious hand to make him tap out with Rougeau calling for the bell.

Rating: D. So the people who are usually heels cheated to beat the cheating faces who are acting as heels with the help of a bunch of guys who may or may not be Canadian after cheating like crazy to face reactions last night. All this happened during a mostly lame match which featured a newly formed heel stable. You can add Storm to the list of things completely overbooked in Russo’s world.

Post break Storm officially forms Team Canada and hands Ouellet the Hardcore Title. Skipper gets the Cruiserweight Title, which is actually a clever way to get the titles off Storm without jobbing him (again). Cat runs in with a ball bat and says the new champions are defending their titles tonight.

WCW World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Booker T.

Booker is defending in another rematch from last night despite there being no real reason for Jarrett to get another title shot. No hype or anything here of course, making it feel less important than a house show main event. Booker starts fast with a clothesline but Jeff kicks him low to break up a sleeper. Jeff’s high cross body is rolled through for two, only to have him kick Booker right in the face.

We hit the chinlock on the champ for a bit before the clotheslines have Jeff in trouble. Booker’s side kick doesn’t hurt the knee (not a factor so far) so he picks up the guitar, only to hit the referee by mistake. Here’s another referee so Booker can hit the ax kick but Jeff hits him in the knee. The Stroke knocks Booker silly but here’s Goldberg to go after Jeff for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Well done on making the champion look like a loser in a match that didn’t mean anything because it didn’t need to be here on a nothing show. This could have been anyone against Jeff, or at least could have come later in the show after a few quick promos from both guys. Why do that though when you can fly through it as fast as you can?

Goldberg says that’s one down and two to go, implying Russo and……who actually?

Scott Steiner literally puts his finger in Pamela’s mouth and threatens to destroy Goldberg tonight.

Hardcore Title: Carl Ouellet vs. Norman Smiley

Carl is defending and Norman wants nothing to do with hardcore anymore. They quickly head outside with Ouellet doing as much stuff as you can do in a hardcore match. Hudson actually tries to keep track of the hardcore rules as Norman stops Carl from setting up a table. Tony one ups him by bringing up Storm’s hardcore rules from last week.

A trashcan to the head puts Norman down again and the table is set up in the corner. Norman’s comeback is quickly stopped as the announcers actually suggest that Goldberg might come out during this match. That’s so stupid I can’t even make fun of it. The table is pulled out of the corner but Norman avoids the cannonball and falls on Carl for the pin and the title.

Rating: F+. Well so much for the false hope of Norman having something new. Instead we now get to see him as the reluctant champion because it’s going to lead to comedy. Heaven forbid someone talented and over gets to move on to something important because he can still get to do something “funny” instead. At least Carl, who looked like he was in sweats sitting around the house, didn’t keep the title that long.

Nash says there’s no second chance for Steiner until Scott Hall gets his second chance.

Tag Team Titles: Filthy Animals vs. Dark Carnival

Muta and Vampiro are defending after winning the titles in an impromptu match last night. Konnan challenges Kronik for no apparent reason so here they are to do commentary. Great now we can almost guarantee a Harris Brothers appearance. It’s Juvy and Rey challenging for the titles here. The Twins jump Kronik during the champs’ entrance so we lose commentary.

Rey gets beaten down to start as the Animals take Kronik’s place, allowing Konnan to ramble on about Mexican strategy. Muta kicks Rey into the corner before it’s back to Vampiro so we can keep things dull. A Muta cheap shot stops Rey’s comeback bid and it’s Disqo trying to fire him up. They head outside with Rey staying in trouble until Vampiro kicks Muta by mistake.

The hot tag brings in Juvy to clean house as everything breaks down. Juvy gets misted and there’s the dragon screw legwhip to put him down. We’re not done with the interference though as Sting comes out (Tony to Konnan: “Was this part of your strategy?” Konnan: “Let’s see if it works and then I’ll tell you.”) and destroys Vampiro and Muta, allowing Disqo to put Juvy on Muta for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. This was actually one of the better matches tonight until the screwy finish. That’s the story of the night: something that could be interesting is ruined by whatever overbooked nonsense that Russo has for us. At least it might mean we’re done with Vampiro and Muta as anything important, at least for the time being. That being said, was there any reason to not have the Animals win the titles last night and cut out a bunch of extra stuff?

Post break Demon wants Sting in a four corners match along with Muta and Vampiro. Cat: “Aren’t you supposed to say trick or treat?”

Cruiserweight Title: Elix Skipper vs. Kwee Wee

Skipper is defending and grabs some early rollups for two as Madden promises to deal with Gene Okerlund later tonight. Kwee Wee grabs a nice belly to back and stomps away as he’s already going angry. A suplex into the corner sends Skipper back first into the buckle (that looked good) but he’s still able to sidestep a charge and send Kwee Wee crashing out to the floor. Hudson makes sex jokes about Madden as Skipper does the Matrix move to a big reaction.

The champ gets two each off a dragon suplex and a middle rope cross body as the fans are way into Skipper here. Kwee Wee tries a suplex but Skipper kicks his feet to fall backwards, rolling into a DDT. With the referee conveniently looking away, Skipper loads up a ring, only to get caught in a Blue Thunder bomb for two. Elix finally gets in a ring shot to knock Kwee Wee cold and retain the title.

Rating: B-. Well that was a surprise. Sometimes you find a pairing that just has a good match and that’s exactly what you got here. Kwee Wee is much more character than anything else but at least he had one good match to his name here. Skipper is a great option as a high flier, especially after the division has completely died in the last few months. Match of the night by far here.

Post match Kwee Wee beats up the referee before settling back down into his normal self.

Sting vs. Demon vs. Vampiro vs. Great Muta

Officially a four corners match. During the entrances, Madden issues a challenge to Okerlund for a one on one match. Vampiro and Muta wait on the apron to start as Sting beats on the Demon. Sting takes Demon down so the other two come in with Vampiro stomping the mat, only to have Sting actually sell it. As in there was at least a foot between Vampiro and Sting but he sold it anyway. Sting fights back, gives Muta a Stinger splash and puts on the Deathlock. Demon offers to make the save but hits Vampiro with a kendo stick instead, leaving Muta no choice but to tap. Nothing match but it was more shenanigans.

Vampiro cleans house with the stick and take Sting away.

Post break Vampiro is about to stab Sting because we haven’t ripped off Undertaker’s embalming stuff yet.

Kevin Nash vs. Scott Steiner

This is yet another rematch but Nash brings out something in a box. We’ve got less than five minutes to go in the show as Nash grabs a mic. He’s seen a lot of Scott Hall signs around here lately and stops for a mostly non-existent Hall chant. Everywhere he goes, Nash has been asked what Hall is up to.

That brings him to the box, which contains a Hall cardboard cutout which says “hey yo.” Nash makes fun of it for wearing an NWO shirt and does a survey about wanting Hall back. Enough of that though as it’s time to call out Booker T. Cue the champ but Steiner runs out and blasts Booker with a pipe. Goldberg pops up on screen, holding Midajah by the hair. He loads her up for a Jackhammer through a table but the screen cuts off. Steiner runs to the back to find Midajah through the table to end the show in another bait and switch.

Overall Rating: F+. So we had a bunch of nothing matches, five title matches, four title changes (two of which actually took place in a match), the setup for Goldberg vs. Steiner and a big SHOOT out to open the show. This was another week with way too much going on because the idea of just letting stories advance as they would naturally is unthinkable around here. I’m running out of names to call the same Russo problems here and I have a feeling that’s going to become an even bigger problems as we get to even dumber stuff.

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New Blood Rising
Date: August 13, 2000
Location: Pacific Coliseum, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Attendance: 6,614
Commentators: Scott Hudson, Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden

I’m really not sure what to say about this one. It’s borderline legendary in how horrible it is due to the levels of Russo pumped into it with one match in particular. I’ve seen this show a few times before and every time I watch it I can’t believe what I’m seeing. There’s no way around this so let’s get to it.

First and foremost: is there a reason this show is named after the New Blood when they haven’t been a thing in about a month at least?

As I load this up on the Network, I keep expecting some warning to pop up telling me it’s not worth it.

The opening video shows Jeff Jarrett breaking a bunch of guitars over various people. Then we cover the real main event of Goldberg vs. Kevin Nash vs. Scott Steiner in what is being teased as a shoot. As opposed to all the other matches which are worked shoots you see. This one is going to be a REAL shoot.

In an odd camera shot, we see the New Blood Rising logo in the corner of the arena but it’s quickly covered by pyro from one of the ring corners. Who shoots from there?

3 Count vs. Jung Dragons

This is a double ladder match for 3 Count’s recording contract as well as their gold record. Tank Abbott is with 3 Count and has a shirt with the nipple areas cut out for no apparent reason. So 3 Count wants the record because it’s theirs and the Dragons want the contract so 3 Count can never record again. I’m not even going to try to make sense out of this mess. Oh and you have to tag in a ladder match.

Jamie and Shane get things going but everyone realizes that this is a ladder match so they sprint up to the entrance to make this interesting. Shannon makes a quick save on Yang as Tony thinks he’s going for the gold record because the ladder is hung underneath it. Ignore the fact that the contract is on top of the record so he’s under both of them. Yang gets crotched on a ladder in the corner as the fans are way more quiet than they should be for a six man ladder match.

Shannon splashes Yang and covers for a second because no one understands the rules of this mess. Three straight splashes crush Yang against a ladder in the corner as Scott asks the stupid question of what label is on the contract. Yang gets up again, only to be down onto the top rope. This hasn’t been his night so far.

3 Count goes outside so Jamie can hit a huge dive for a good reaction. We get a second ladder so Shannon can pull Yang off with a sleeper drop. Shane neckbreakers Jamie off as well, leaving Evan to suplex Kaz down to put all six on the mat in a heap. Yang gets a ladder superkicked into his face but the Dragons come back with a pair of spinwheel kicks to get one of their only advantages.

Kaz charges into a powerslam on the ladder as Evan seems to have a bad ankle. Shannon does a springboard over the top to catapult the end of the ladder into Jamie and Shane’s faces. That always looks sick. Shannon is thrown back in and gets splashed by two Dragons, allowing Jamie to grab the gold record. Not that it matters as Tank knocks him out and steals it back, earning himself some homophobic chants.

Evan gets crushed between a ladder as Tony yells at Madden for not understanding the logic behind this match. Jamie powerbombs Shannon off the ladder but Tank shoves over both ladders to take out a member of each team. Evan climbs up and gets the contract for the win (I guess?).

Rating: B. Enjoy this one people because it’s the last good match you’re going to see for about two hours. These six guys would give the fans everything they could and then be asked to do it again week after week because WCW didn’t care about any of them. I know Russo’s mantra continued to be about pushing the young guys, but giving them the same matches over and over again without letting them get anywhere isn’t a push. Still though, fun stuff here, even if it was nothing compared to what Edge and Christian and company were doing at the time.

Tank leaves with the record and the contract.

The Filthy Animals want to referee the Tag Team Title match. As in four referees in an eight man match. On top of that, they want a shot tomorrow night. Rey promises to make sure Cat beats Great Muta as an incentive.

Great Muta vs. The Cat

Cat talks some trash and hits Muta in the head with the mic to get things going. Some kicks set up a dancing elbow (I love Rock but good night I wish the People’s Elbow wasn’t copied so much) but Muta grabs the arm as Hudson talks about the “legitimate heat” between these two. Tony goes on about how lame “the marquee says wrestling” line is as the fans want Bret. Cat fires off some strikes but is mesmerized by the power of Muta’s bald spot, allowing Muta to kick him back down.

Cue Tygress (fans: “WE WANT PUPPIES!”) as Cat kicks Muta out to the floor. Back in and they hit each other a few more times until Muta snaps off a dragon screw leg whip to take over. Muta misses the moonsault but sprays green mist at Cat. This isn’t a DQ for whatever reason, allowing Tygress to hit Muta with a chair for two. Instead Cat fires off a bunch of kicks for the pin.

Rating: D-. Standard Nitro match here (yeah a D- is pretty standard these days) with Cat showing why he should almost never be in the ring. He’s a great talker but that doesn’t mean he’s anything more than a guy who kicks a lot. Muta continues to look bored and I still don’t know why they brought him back in.

So we’re just under half an hour into the show and it’s been quite watchable to this point. That’s about to fall apart.

Buff Bagwell can’t find his mom.

Buff Bagwell vs. Positively Kanyon

This is Judy Bagwell on a pole, which means Kanyon drives her in on a forklift. See because she’s a bit overweight. For reasons that I’ll never understand, Kanyon wanted Judy to be his Kimberly. Kanyon calls her a battleax a few times until Buff finally figures out that his mom is on a freaking forklift in the arena.

Buff runs out to throw Kanyon over the barricade to start the fight in the crowd. I’m assuming you win by pin here but I doubt Russo ever got past “so we put her on a forklift.” They get back to the ring for the opening bell and Kanyon grabs a middle rope Russian legsweep for two. Kanyon cuts off the turnbuckle pad because this doesn’t have enough going on yet.

Buff jumps into a sitout Alabama slam for two and we hit the chinlock. The Kanyon Cutter is broken up and Buff drops him forehead first onto the exposed buckle for two. Now the Kanyon Cutter connects for two…..and here’s David Arquette, who hits Buff with a hard hat for two. A double Blockbuster is enough for the pin on Kanyon, winning Judy back for Buff…..I think?

Rating: F. The match itself was watchable at times but they brought David Arquette back for a two minute cameo. This was like watching a movie with a gorilla in a top hat and tails standing in the corner doing nothing. Judy on the forklift was such a distraction and really didn’t change anything, making the match a combination of boring and WHAT AM I WATCHING. In other words, the Russo Special.

Arquette gets a Kanyon Cutter post match.

Lance Storm arrives with a police escort. You would expect Storm to arrive on time.

Goldberg isn’t here due to a motorcycle accident. And so it begins.

Tag Team Titles: Kronik vs. Perfect Event vs. Misfits in Action vs. Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak

Kronik is defending, Rection and Cajun are representing the Misfits and the Filthy Animals (as in Mysterio/Disqo/Tygress/Juvy are ALL guest referees). Konnan sits in on commentary to give us a ridiculous thirteen people involved with one match. Before the match Disqo threatens everyone, saying he has the authority to have them wrestling polar bears in Nome, Alaska if they step out of line.

Palumbo and Adams start things off as Disqo is the in ring referee. Chuck is quickly sent to the floor so it’s off to Stasiak, who walks into a full nelson slam. Cajun vs. Jindrak now with Mark taking over via some technical stomping as the fans loudly chant…..something. O’Haire comes in to punch Clark, followed by a nice spinning kick to the head for two. A hard slam drops O’Haire but Disqo counts slow.

Rection comes in and gets a slow count as well as there are far too many empty seats opposite the hard camera. Tygress gives Rection a Bronco Buster but the General raises his boot to block Rey’s attempt. We get the Sting falling headbutt/low blow spot on Stasiak before it’s back to Cajun for the dancing punches. That means another slow count as the announcers have no idea whose side the Animals are on.

Rection comes in and starts cleaning house as everything breaks down. Palumbo’s great right hands stagger Rection and it’s off to a sleeper. Disqo checks the arm twice and slaps Rection in the face to wake him up. Palumbo superkicks Rection back down as the fans want Bret again. It’s off to Cajun who is quickly sent outside as everything breaks down again.

The Seanton bomb nails Clark but here’s the Dark Carnival to break up High Times to Palumbo. Clark gives Palumbo the Meltdown for the slowest two count yet so he yells at Disqo. High Times plants Palumbo again but here’s Lieutenant Loco to steal Disqo’s shirt and count the pin, thereby screwing over the Misfits in the process to keep the titles on Kronik.

Rating: D-. What in the world did I just watch? Instead of anything resembling a regular match, this was a bunch of quick segments with Disqo tying everything together (work with me here) until Chavo ran in for the completely illogical ending. I get the idea that Disqo wanted to give the Animals the easiest match possible tomorrow night but this was just WAY too much for what they were going for.

Jeff Jarrett accuses Pamela of wearing Okerlund out last night. He’s been looking for Booker all day long and the champ better have eyes in the back of his head.

Shane Douglas vs. Kidman

Strap match with wins via pinfall. Before the match, Shane says Kidman isn’t man enough to keep up with Torrie all night long (which is nothing like the story of X-Pac vs. Kane with X-Pac using the exact same line about Kane and Tori in a storyline that aired earlier in the year). Kidman ties up the legs to start and Shane is rather irritated. A legdrop gets one for Kidman as Madden goes over the benefits of having a shirt on here.

In one of the funniest and at the same time saddest moments of the show, the announcers try to make fat jokes about Torrie based on that video from Monday. How do you even keep a straight face on a line like that? Shane crotches him with the strap and chokes a bit, followed by the reverse Hennig neck snap (which is actually a cool move). Torrie gets in some choking of his own and it’s off to a knuckle lock of all things.

Since it’s just a knuckle lock, Kidman comes back with a hurricanrana out of the corner and the Low Down gets two. Kidman finally gets smart and takes Shane’s shirt off, meaning they can actually start using the strap for a change. Torrie accidentally hits Shane in the face with a shoe for a near fall, followed by the Pittsburgh Plunge to Kidman for the same. A quick Kid Crusher (Killswitch) gives Kidman the pin.

Rating: D. Another match where there was no need for a gimmick because Russo doesn’t get how to actually run matches. Kidman getting the win was good but the Torrie factor is really starting to drag. The stuff where she used to be with Kidman was fine but I’m supposed to care that she used to be overweight? It doesn’t quite work when she’s a bombshell and one of the best looking women ever in wrestling.

Kidman spanks her with the strap so Shane hangs him in the corner, drawing Vito out for the save. Reno sneaks in from behind and gets beaten up by Vito as well.

Booker arrives and Jarrett attacks him by slamming Booker’s knee in the car door.

Miss Hancock vs. Major Gunns

Rip off the Camouflage and of course there’s mud. An early slap starts the catfight and Hancock does a Muta handspring elbow. Madden gets right to the point and says he wants to see these two lose their clothes. Gunns gets a jackknife cover for two in the ring because the rules are still all over the place. Hancock rips off the top to reveal more camouflage and I’m sure you get the idea here.

After a facebuster gives us the upskirt shot, Hancock loses the bottom half of her dress to reveal camouflage shorts. A cross body gets two for Hancock but she charges into a foot to the stomach. Hancock misses a cross body and goes to the floor holding her stomach. Oh here we go.

Gunns gets posted and Hancock rips off the shorts to reveal a swimsuit bottom. They head up the aisle with Hancock losing her top. Gunns gets sent into the mud and drags Hancock with her as Madden is calling himself daddy. Hancock gyrates a bit and goes down holding her stomach again, allowing Gunns to get an easy pin.

Rating: F. Do I really need to explain this one? The women looked good in their outfits but they’re horrible in the ring and the ending made it even worse. This stuff stopped being interesting a long time ago because EVERYTHING is an angle. You get numb to this stuff after a while and we passed that point nearly eight months ago with Russo.

David Flair dives into the mud to check on Hancock. To get this over with as quickly as we can: yes she was supposed to be pregnant and yes Russo was probably going to be revealed as the father because in Vince Russo’s WCW, he gets to sleep with Miss Hancock. Of course this is treated in the serious voices and made to be something real. Yes really real.

The Dark Carnival wants Demon to prove himself.

The announcers are all serious again and use Hancock’s real name to make sure this is as shooty as possible.

Sting vs. The Demon

Sting repels in from the ceiling and wins with the Death Drop in less than a minute, which included a brawl in the aisle.

Vampiro and Muta come in to beat down Sting. Kronik comes in for the save as Demon walks by the brawl. For no logical reason, Kronik offers to put the titles on the line tonight.

Booker’s knee is being worked on.

US Title: Mike Awesome vs. Lance Storm

Storm, with a bit of a mouse under his eye, is defending and gets the big Goldberg entrance. You can see that Storm is really proud to be here as he talks about getting to wrestle in the greatest country in the world tonight. The extra security is due to his hatred in America and he’s worried about a terrorist attack in the back. It’s not his fault that he threatens the American illusion and he defeats another American hero tonight. As for this match, he’s using rule 32B of the Canadian rule book to appoint a special referee: Jacques Rougeau! As in the Mountie! And not Bret Hart!

After a full rendition of O Canada (which is a big deal here and “not a work” according to Tony), we’re ready to go with Madden in tears. Rougeau will be the outside referee as Awesome hammers away, only to be sent shoulder first into the post. They head outside and Awesome loads up a table, drawing the required ECW chants.

Storm drives him into the barricade for a break but Awesome snaps off a belly to belly back inside. Mike slips off the top to a lot of jeering but quiets the fans down with a wicked sitout Awesome bomb for the pin and the title. That was a VERY close pin and Rougeau says no, which actually seems fair in this case.

We’re not done yet though as Rougeau has the Canadian rule book, which says you need a FIVE count. I didn’t know King Kong Bundy was Canadian. Tony: “Did this happen when we were in Toronto last year?” Awesome slams him for three before grabbing a dragon sleeper of all things for the tap out. I think you know where we’re going here.

The book says a title match is pinfall only so the match continues. Mike throws him down with a release German suplex and a slingshot shoulder gets four. You can imagine how screwy this must be for everyone involved. The Awesome splash gets give to give Awesome the pin (and Storm’s third job in about eight minutes) but this is Texas Death rules (in Canada?) so after a pin, Storm has until ten to get to his feet.

Mike throws a table in but gets chaired in the back for four. In theory wouldn’t you want the five count so you can have another eight or nine seconds to get up? Both guys go up and something like a belly to belly superplex puts both of them through the table. Rougeau rules that the first person to their feet by ten (huh?) wins. Mike is almost up first so Rougeau punches him out at seven to keep the title on Storm.

Rating: C-. I actually didn’t hate this as you could clearly see the idea they were going for. Now it was stupid to have Rougeau as the referee (Heidi would have actually made more sense) and to have the champ job that many times in one night, but there was at least an idea here. The bigger problem here of course is that Awesome didn’t cheat so Storm keeps losing over and over, but the live crowd was going to eat it up anyway. It’s over thinking as always, though it’s nowhere near as bad as it could have been. The action itself worked too so this was actually easy to watch.

Oh and here’s Bret Hart after the match for the Canadian pride moment. You know, because BRET HART would totally go for something like this. I’ve always thought that’s why he didn’t do the referee job here. Can you imagine Bret standing for something this stupid?

Nash doesn’t buy Goldberg’s motorcycle story and says he’s going over Steiner and getting the title back.

Tag Team Titles: Kronik vs. Dark Carnival

Kronik is defending in case you didn’t see them enough earlier tonight. Tony brings up Canadian rules and Madden slips up by saying Vampiro is from Canada, making the whole thing even screwier. Clark shoulders Vampiro for two to start and a big powerbomb gets the same. Muta gets choked in the corner and it’s back to Vampiro to get powerslammed for two.

It’s off to Adams and the villains start in on the leg….which goes nowhere as it’s quickly back to Clark for the Meltdown. For some reason there’s no cover so Muta mists the referee by mistake. Vampiro breaks up High Times but the Harris Twins of all people return to give Clark an H Bomb, setting up the moonsault for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D-. Good grief I can’t stand Vampiro. Every time I see him in a match, cutting a promo or just being there in general I can’t stand him. Now he gets a title, though given how insane this division has been lately, I can’t imagine him holding onto it for that long. The worst part here is the Harris Twins vs. Kronik, which could set a new standard for horrible.

Booker says Jarrett will have to kill him to take the title. Don’t hate the player, hate the game. As usual, this is a feud that is totally fine and has told a completely acceptable story of the old champion getting annoyed as the new star. The knee injury is find for a plot point to advance the story as well. However, almost no one remembers this because of how ridiculous the rest of this show is, which is really a shame.

Quick recap of the triple threat match, which is designed to look like a SHOOT. Not a “shoot”, but a SHOOT. They’ve been arguing over who has to do the job (using that term) and it’s going over the heads of 99% of the audience who just wants to see people fight.

Kevin Nash vs. Scott Steiner vs. Goldberg

The winner gets the title shot next month. No Goldberg to start due to the motorcycle accident. Tony tells us to pay extra attention to see if there’s anything out of the ordinary. Nash takes him outside to start and sends Steiner hard into the barricade. Here’s a taped up Goldberg about a minute in to go after Nash with a chair. With Nash down on the floor, Steiner clotheslines Goldberg and drops an elbow for two.

Goldberg comes back with a flying shoulder and the Bret Killer kick, drawing Nash up from the apron for a big staredown. Hudson tells stories about Starrcade 1988 (yes 1988) when Nash was on the booking committee and put himself over Goldberg. Steiner comes back in to save Goldberg and gets two off a belly to belly. Tony interprets Steiner yelling at the referee as him not being on the same page with everyone else.

Goldberg suplexes Steiner down but Nash clotheslines them both. A big boot drops Goldberg but the Jackknife is broken up. It looked like a simple counter but IT’S A SWERVE because it’s really him not following the script. Russo, in his MANLY sleeveless shirt, tells Goldberg to get back in but Goldberg walks to the back.

The announcers freak out that this is Goldberg not following the script, even though it looked like a pretty basic counter to the powerbomb. I love how we’re supposed to buy Kevin Nash and SCOTT STEINER as the professionals here. Tony: “What are they going to do now? Improvise?” This is just so bizarre to hear because it’s clear that they’re trying to sound like they’re shooting. There are shows where you can hear the raw audio and it sounds NOTHING like this, mainly because the announcers aren’t very good actors.

Midajah comes out as Steiner takes Snake Eyes. The referee goes down and Midajah hits Nash low to give Scott two. Nash fails at a DDT and goes after Midajah so Steiner grabs a sleeper. That goes nowhere so Nash kicks him in the face and the Jackknife is good for the pin. And that’s a shoot of course.

Rating: F. I can’t get mad at this. I’m trying and I just can’t do it. Stuff like the Hogan stuff last month and the Russo destroying Flair nonsense makes me angry but this was just……dumb. This felt like seeing a kid do something he wasn’t supposed to do and then listening to the ridiculous explanation that they come up with to try and get out of it. Instead of getting mad at them, it’s almost amusing to see them trying so hard to be clever and leaving so many holes in the story along the way.

I don’t think I have to explain why this was stupid and why it completely defeats the point of professional wrestling in the first place, but I really can’t get mad at it. Maybe it’s the shoot interviews that set it up or maybe I’ve just reached the point where Russo isn’t worth getting annoyed at anymore. It’s one thing to yell and rave about something stupid when it’s clearly for one person’s (namely Russo) benefit. Instead, this felt like Russo actually thought he had a good idea but he’s too stupid to realize how bad it was.

After sitting through the first two hours of this show, there are so many other things to get mad at. Like Judy Bagwell on a pole for instance. That felt much more cruel and low brow than this because it was all about Judy’s looks. The Hancock stuff is stupid because it’s not something I’m ever going to believe. This on the other hand felt like they were trying for something interesting and just failed, which is a lot harder to get mad about. It’s still stupid, but Judy Bagwell on a Pole is the far more infamous moment for a reason: that was lame and stupid whereas this was more a failure, which I can live with much easier.

Finally, this is a rare occasion where watching the TV leading up to it helps a lot. They basically said “yeah we’re going to do something stupid” for the last three weeks and then this is what we got. With the Hogan vs. Jarrett mess last month they treated it seriously and then did the stupid shoot. This time they basically advertised a screwy finish and you were watching to see how bad it was. On top of that, as lame as it was, you actually got a match. Steiner vs. Nash isn’t great but it’s better than “pin me, pay me.” It was a lame idea and didn’t work for most of the fans, but this could have been WAY worse.

Tony throws us to the recap video for the World Tag Team Title match, meaning Booker vs. Jarrett. I guess it’s the Andre the Giant coming out in him. We’ve covered this already: Booker won the title last month so Jeff is trying to get it back by injuring Booker’s knee in advance.

WCW World Title: Booker T. vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jarrett is challenging and Booker’s knee is in horrible shape coming in. Booker fights out of the corner to start and quickly takes it to the floor to send Jeff into the barricade. Back in and the champ crotches him against the post (Madden: “That’s a walk down Slapnuts Boulevard.”) but the missile dropkick hurts his knee again. You know you don’t have to ask Jeff to work on a limb twice so he wraps the knee around the post.

A chair shot crushes the knee even more and Booker gets caught in a half crab. That goes as far as a half crab is going to go so Booker grabs the spinning sunset flip out of the corner for two. A double clothesline puts both guys down and the knee is suddenly fine enough for an ax kick and Spinarooni. There goes the referee and Jeff blasts the knee with the guitar. Jeff grabs a bad looking Figure Four for WAY too long until Booker grabs the rope. The referee breaking the hold ticks Jeff off so we get a second ref bump.

Booker’s knee is fine again and they set up a table at ringside, only to have Booker do something like a Book End off the apron through said table. Jeff hits the new referee with a chair and then Strokes Booker onto the chair for two from a fresh ref. Booker tries a neckbreaker which turns into a Diamond Cutter (to be fair how often do you see a main event swinging neckbreaker?) onto the chair for two. The Book End retains the title.

Rating: C. This was fine, albeit overbooked. Booker vs. Jarrett is a good example of a pairing that really doesn’t need a lot of extras on the side and they would have been better just having a wrestling match. The ref bumps got annoying in a hurry but that’s the main event style of the time. Not a great match or anything, but it really needed to be something more simple.

The fans bail out immediately and pelt trash into the ring to end this mess.

Overall Rating: F+. I’ve heard this called one of the worst shows of all time, maybe even THE worst of all time and it just isn’t that bad. I wouldn’t even call it the worse show of the summer as Great American Bash offered NOTHING of value. This show had an entertaining opener and a totally fine main event which more than make this a better show than some of the others of this era.

Now that being said, this is another disaster on Russo’s watch because he can’t just leave well enough alone and let the show work. It’s not a good show but for the most part everything goes by fast enough (longest match is the main event at just under fifteen minutes) that it doesn’t really infuriate me. Stuff like the Judy Bagwell match and the Canadian Rules match (which at least got a really good reaction) are really more things you just roll your eyes at and move on to the next match.

The show is really bad, but its reputation is far worse than it actually is. At least with this one you have some entertaining matches and a feeling that they’re trying to do something positive instead of flipping the fans off and laughing at them for not getting behind the ideas. There are still WAY more problems here that need to be fixed and this show was horrible, but somehow it’s an improvement over some of the other stuff they’ve done this year.

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Thunder
Date: August 9, 2000
Location: World Arena, Colorado Springs, Colorado
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Stevie Ray, Tony Schiavone

It’s the go home show for New Blood Rising because we’re just that lucky. The big story continues to be the potentially SHOOT triple threat because Goldberg, Scott Steiner and Kevin Nash, because when you think of Kevin Nash, you think of a shoot. Oh and the World Title is in there somewhere too. Let’s get to it.

Tag Team Titles: Kronik vs. Mark Jindrak/Sean O’Haire vs. Perfect Event

Right now, someone tell me who Kronik is defending against on Sunday. I’d be shocked if most of the regular fans of this show could answer that at this point. This is the result of Kronik wanting both teams to come out here for a fight which of course means let’s have the challengers lose again before their REAL title shot on Sunday.

After some stalling (of course) it’s a quadruple team on Adams early on. Stasiak gets in a jumping back elbow but Adams shrugs it off and hits a quick gutbuster, allowing the tag off to Clark. It’s off to O’Haire for two off a clothesline as this is acting more like a handicap match than a three way tag.

Clark gets in a quick DDT and brings in Adams for a full nelson slam. A piledriver gets two on Stasiak and everything breaks down. The tilt-a-whirl slam gets two on O’Haire as Jindrak gives Clark a nice hurricanrana out of the corner. Sean pops up for a Seanton bomb but Stasiak wants the pin. That earns Shawn a Meltdown and High Times with Adams running interference so Clark can get the pin.

Rating: D. I’ve watched the match and I’m still not sure whether or not this was a three way or a handicap match. It was mentioned as a title match, but there was no indication of how many opponents Kronik had here. You have a title match here but WCW really didn’t care enough to explain who was challenging. Just….dang man.

Muta and Vampiro come out for a distraction, allowing Juventud Guerrera to run in and steal the belts again.

Mike Awesome and Heidi come in to Cat’s office so Cat can put him in a flag match against Lance Storm later. The Dragons appear, have their heads rammed together, and are thrown out.

Daffney has made a Watch Crowbar Wrestling shirt to wear at ringside. Crowbar wants to tell her something but changes his mind.

Jeff Jarrett has a guitar with Booker’s name on it.

Crowbar vs. Elix Skipper

Elix, ever the rookie, accepts a handshake and gets pulled into a German suplex. Crowbar sends him to the floor for a dive, followed by the apron splash. I’ve missed Crowbar being around here as he has more energy than half the people on these shows. Cue Smooth with flowers for Daffney, who doesn’t seem to mind.

Crowbar tries a standing Lionsault but Skipper Matrixes away from it in an awesome looking counter. A Death Valley Driver puts Skipper down but Crowbar goes outside and yells at Daffney about the flowers. Skipper dives on Crowbar and destroys the flowers in a truly evil move. Back in and Crowbar can’t hit a hurricanrana, allowing the Overdrive to give Elix the pin.

Rating: C. These were two hidden gems near the end of WCW and you could see them having fun out there. Sloppy fun, but still fun. Like I said, Crowbar looked like he was actually trying every single time out there and that’s an effort you can’t ignore. Skipper on the other hand was an athletic freak who could do things most people just can’t do. That made for a fun match with an angle that actually made sense as everyone could see Crowbar loved Daffney so it was easy to exploit. In other words, my guess is Russo/Ferrara had nothing to do with this.

Jarrett asks Jimmy Hart where Booker is. The answer is not here so Hart gets a guitar. At least he could probably give us some good music with that thing.

Okerlund and Bagwell talk about Kanyon, who appropriately comes in and issues a challenge for a tag match tonight. That means it’s time for a mystery partner, which can only end badly. Like only. As in there is no other option.

Tank Abbott and 3 Count are here to perform their old song because Tank’s new single isn’t ready yet. I heartily approve of the classics.

3 Count/Tank Abbott vs. Misfits in Action

Shane gets in trouble to start with Rection doing a little dance before dropping a leg. A pop up powerbomb is countered into a hurricanrana as the announcers try to explain the double ladder match on Sunday. Everything breaks down with Shane getting destroyed. Karagias gets in an argument with the fans on the floor and it’s Flair/Hancock here to go after Hancock. Tank cleans house with right hands and here’s a ladder for no logical reason. Shane and Shannon put it on the top for a top rope splash/legdrop combo for the pin on Cajun.

Rating: F. I have no idea what the point of this was, much like I have no idea if they remember that the Dragons and 3 Count are fighting on Sunday as they haven’t had any contact in at least a week. This felt more like an angle than a match and it says a lot when Hancock can’t save things.

Post break Rection yells at the Misfits and a mixed tables match is made later with Gunns/AWOL vs. Flair/Hancock.

Crowbar yells at Smooth about the flowers (how did he know Smooth gave them to her if he didn’t see the delivery?) but Smooth says he’s an operator.

The Dark Carnival attacks the Jung Dragons because they’re just jobbers for midcard acts. Cat makes the save and puts himself in a tag match against Muta/Vampiro with a mystery partner. So to recap that’s two mystery partners and one mixed tag.

Video on Sunday’s triple threat.

Okerlund hopes Pamela isn’t the mystery partner because she’s nuts about him.

Cat gets a mystery partner, even though the partner doesn’t like his fashion.

Mike Sanders vs. Norman Smiley

Sanders is now Above Average, meaning he’s on top of the B list at 49%. That’s not how above average works but whatever. Let’s make this a hardcore match just because of reasons. Smiley declines because he’s retired from hardcore wrestling (thank goodness), only to get a chair to the back. Norman whips him over the barricade so Mike hits him with a ladder.

They head backstage where Sanders puts a trashcan over Norman for a beating with a broom. There’s a stretcher here for no logical reason so Sanders throws Norman on top. Both guys being thrown through tables, only to have Jarrett pop up and nail Norman with a guitar. Apparently the pin has to take place in the ring though so here’s a wheelbarrow to bring them back to the ring. Sanders tries a chair shot from the middle rope….and knocks himself out to give Norman the easy pin.

Rating: D-. So what was the point here? Norman being dragged back into hardcore? That’s the best they’ve got for these two? Sanders can clearly talk but people aren’t going to care if you have him lose a match he challenged Norman to. At least he can talk though and that’s the best thing you can have, especially here.

The Dark Carnival broods in the back. Demon shows how much depth he has by growling.

Mike Awesome vs. Lance Storm

Non-title, which is actually the right move for a change. Storm gets in a good line by saying Mike better be a good fat chick thriller because he’s horrible as a career killer. They brawl on the floor to start with Mike getting the better of it as you might expect. Storm tries grabbing a chair and gets it punched into his face, setting up a very quick Awesome splash.

Mike goes for the flag but Heidi, the woman we’ve known for like a week, turns on him by hitting him with the American flag. She takes off her shirt and shows off a new one saying “Canadian and Proud of it!”. The Maple Leaf goes on and Heidi hands Storm the flag for the win. As usual, this is too much character development and something that could have been done at the pay per view instead of the big mess they wound up doing instead.

Kidman challenges Shane to a strap match, which Torrie can teach him a thing or two about. Pamela finds that way funnier than it should be and Kidman steps to the side to kiss Syren (Reno’s girlfriend/Nitro Girl).

Sgt. AWOL/Major Gunns vs. David Flair/Miss Hancock

Tables match to make sure this is as bad as possible, or to make sure that David Flair or Sgt. AWOL doesn’t have to job. The guys slowly brawl to start with Wall having to figure out how to make David look threatening. While this is going on, the women yell at each other a lot. Hancock takes over with choking as David sets up a table in the ring. Wall kicks him in the face but gets his eyes raked by Hancock, only to have Gunns choke her. Hancock whips her through the table for the win a few seconds later, making this one of the shortest table matches in history.

Wall chokeslams David through another table post match.

This Week in WCW Motorsports. Do we have any proof that those teams have actually been shut down? It really wouldn’t surprise me if they were still around to this day.

Kanyon is talking to his partner.

Doug Dillinger tells Cat that “he’s here”.

Kidman vs. Reno

Kidman starts fast with a headscissors to send Reno outside, setting up a nice plancha (are any of Kidman’s dives ever bad?) to drop him again. Back in and Reno gets smart by grabbing Kidman for a pair of quick suplexes. When all else fails, throw the guy around. A third suplex stops Kidman’s comeback but he grabs a quick Low Down for two. Not that it matters as Reno Rolls the Dice, only to hammer on Kidman instead of covering.

Cue Syren, allowing Reno to bring in a chair. For some reason Reno tries a powerbomb onto the chair and you know what that means. This brings out Torrie for another distraction, allowing Shane Douglas to come in with the chain to knock Kidman out. The referee actually sees it for a change though and it’s a DQ.

Rating: D+. I like both guys and you had Syren and Torrie in the same match so it’s kind of hard to get mad here. Reno is a good power guy and has a nice selection of suplexes to go with a cool look, which is why he never went anywhere in wrestling. The Kidman vs. Shane feud needs to wrap up soon but I can tolerate it as long as Torrie is around.

Vito runs out to make the save for no logical reason. Reno and Vito seem to know each other. Like, aside from working together.

The Artist, now in street clothes, finds Paisley and I believe Papaya from Nitro giving Kwee Wee a massage, leading to a brawl. I still have no reason to care about the Artist.

Jarrett comes out again and makes Penzer read a message, basically saying that it’s Booker’s fault for everyone getting hurt tonight. Jeff is going to keep screwing with stuff until the end of the show and there’s a guitar shot for Penzer. He guarantees a title win on Sunday. So Jeff is now stealing Kanyon’s schtick?

Here’s your weekly shoot style interview, this time with Booker T. Bash at the Beach was the greatest day of his life because he finally reached his top goal in wrestling. It meant a lot to him to see the company give him the shot and the fans accept him with everybody raising the roof. Booker talks about coming up through the Dallas territories and how much it means to come all the way to the top over all the years.

Tony brings up Russo talking about the old guard being shoved aside so people like Booker can rise up. Booker doesn’t feel any pressure because he’s at home in the middle of the ring. His knee is still banged up and will probably never be the same but he’s still going to be defending the title every night. The fans have paid their money and Booker is going to give them his best every single time.

This wasn’t a shoot and felt a lot more like a talk with the man outside the ring. In other words, it was far easier to sit through than the usual nonsense that didn’t tell us anything we would want to hear about. That being said, this wasn’t exactly riveting stuff but at least it didn’t make me go nuts sitting through it. As usual, Booker is the voice of reason around here.

Buff Bagwell/Gene Okerlund vs. Positively Kanyon/???

Kanyon’s partner is…..oh sweet goodness it’s Mark Madden. Let’s get this over with. Judy sits in on commentary as I’m assuming this is supposed to be funny. Madden and Gene start things off but Gene actually decks Kanyon off the apron. It’s off to the actual wrestlers with Bagwell in control until Madden knees him in the back. Buff goes after him as Judy’s voice has me begging for this to end even more.

Back in and Buff gets two off his double arm DDT but another Madden cheap shot lets Kanyon run him over. Kanyon misses a splash though and it’s hot tags Gene and Madden. Everything breaks down and Madden’s low blow has no effect (with Tony pointing out that Gene didn’t sell it). Apparently Gene is wearing a cup, which winds up on Madden’s face. Of course it does. Buff throws in a Blockbuster to give Gene the pin.

Rating: D. This could have been a lot worse as they had the wrestlers do most of the work. I get the idea here and it was cute at times but giving this five and a half minutes was just a bad idea. Hopefully this ends the story with the announcers and leaves us with serious material….like Judy Bagwell on a forklift.

Kanyon takes out Buff with the Kanyon Cutter but Stevie saves Gene, while also holding Judy back.

Sting/The Cat vs. Great Muta/Vampiro

Not a bad mystery partner if you don’t mind a lack of mystery. It’s a big brawl to start of course with Sting sending Vampiro into the announcers’ table, much to Stevie’s approval. Tenay: “Do you think Sting will ever forget being set on fire by Vampiro?” Cat gets dropped and it’s time for some double teaming inside. Muta’s power drive elbow sets up some choking as we’re a far cry from the classics these two had ten years earlier.

It’s off to a front facelock from Vampiro and the referee actually doesn’t allow a tag he didn’t see. So this is a rare match with rules. The Stinger splash hits Vampiro’s raised boot but a double clothesline puts both guys down. Cat comes in off the lukewarm tag and gives Muta a really bad looking hiptoss. Sting stands around while Cat fights both guys and here’s Demon (who Tony calls Disciple for the second time in the match). The mist takes Sting down but Cat kicks Vampiro in the head for the pin.

Rating: D-. Cat really doesn’t belong in the ring and the story isn’t working either. It’s basically Sting fighting a bunch of guys who look like evil clowns and are doing a lame Ministry impression. That’s the best you can do for one of your biggest stars of all time? Lame main event, but you kind of had to expect that given who was involved.

Muta gives Cat the red mist and Demon puts Sting in the Scorpion Deathlock to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. There were some better efforts here but just too much bad to overcome. With the same mystery partner angle running twice and a cooky mixed tag tables match thrown in, there’s only so much something like Skipper vs. Crowbar can do. That means it’s time for New Blood Rising though, meaning I’d probably want to watch this show three times over instead.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro #252
Date: August 7, 2000
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado
Commentators: Scott Hudson, Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden

It’s the go home show for New Blood Rising and the show has gone off a cliff again. In this case there’s the issue of a missing Russo interview from Thunder, which is likely going to be a major plot point because Russo continues to be the star of the show despite not actually being on it. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video on the three way which is the real main event on Sunday.

The three of them (Goldberg, Scott Steiner and Kevin Nash) arrived earlier. Oh wait Goldberg was just arriving.

There’s a mud pit by the stage. Oh geez just get it over with already.

Jung Dragons vs. Dark Carnival

There’s a ladder next to the ring. It’s going to be one of those kind of shows isn’t it? Tank Abbott sits in on commentary and it’s Vampiro vs. Jamie to open things up. Since Vampiro isn’t very good, he starts with a release Awesome bomb and clotheslines Jamie out to the floor. The announcers discuss Tank recording a song with the Dragons as everything breaks down. The ladder is brought in so Yang can dive onto Muta, only to have Demon throw Yang to the floor. Kaz enziguris Muta as things settle again, allowing Yang to hit Muta low for two. Everything breaks down and Muta mists Yang, setting up the moonsault for the pin.

Rating: D. We had three breakdowns and a ladder along with green mist in a five minute match. As usual, almost everything on these shows are so overbooked that I lose track of what the match is supposed to accomplish. The action was fine while it lasted, but there was way too much stuff going on for it to work.

Post match Sting comes in and cleans house with the bat. Sting says that’s three out of four and the only one left on the list is Goldberg. He wants Goldberg out here right now but we go to a break instead.

Back with Nash, Steiner and Goldberg being held apart by security backstage. Steiner gets away and comes to the ring to face Sting. A challenge is issued and Steiner destroys him with a pipe.

Here’s Cat to yell about Nash, Steiner and Goldberg. We get a semi-infamous line here as Cat says he would send them home but someone might pay them, which is a reference to Scott Steiner refusing to do a job and getting a paid vacation over the Fourth of July weekend. As for tonight, if any of them mess with things, they’re going to jail. Steiner is going to face Sting in a pipe on a pole match (Cat: “I’m going to put that pipe in the middle of the ring and hang it from a pole.”) because the fans want to see it.

That means it’s time to dance but here’s Lance Storm to interrupt. He’s won three titles in three weeks so Cat needs to make Storm vs. Booker T. for the World Title tonight. Cat agrees because booking that match for a pay per view in Canada with Booker fighting against all odds pales in comparison to a Jeff Jarrett match.

Kidman comes out for commentary and says he’s going to be holding a Torrie Wilson Appreciation Night.

Tag Team Titles: Kronik vs. Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak

Kronik is defending. It’s a brawl to start with Sean superkicking Adams while Clark beats up Jindrak on the floor. Cue the Perfect Event for commentary (of course) as Clark takes out both challengers with a flip dive off the apron. Back in and Jindrak gets two off a springboard clothesline before handing it off to Sean.

That goes badly as well with O’Haire walking into a belly to back suplex and it’s back to Adams for a full nelson slam. High Times gets two on Jindrak with O’Haire making the save. The Meltdown gets the same, making me think Jindrak is the worthless half of the team. The Seanton bomb gets two on Clark but here’s the Perfect Event for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Actually not bad here, even though the high fliers as the heels is a really weird idea. Kronik are fine as the muscle headed champions but they’ve had the titles long enough at this point. That being said, they definitely don’t need to drop them to Perfect Event as they’re one of the least interesting teams I’ve seen in a very long time.

Jindrak and O’Haire help the Perfect Event beat Kronik down with the exercise bars. The Filthy Animals come out to beat the champs down as well. Now the Misfits in Action hit the ring as well to go after the Animals, who run off with the belts. Yay for faction wars!

Post break the Rection sends the troops out to get the belts back to Kronik. Gunns on the other hand wants to throw Hancock in the mud and strip her clothes.

Kanyon tells Torrie to go be his partner in a mixed tag. Torrie: “I’m not just another blonde bimbo in a D-cup bra.” Instead Kanyon kidnaps Pamela Paulshock to be his partner.

Buff Bagwell/Judy Bagwell vs. Positively Kanyon/Pamela Paulshock

The guys start and Pamela stays on the apron for absolutely no logical reason. Buff takes over but stops to strut and pose. Pamela won’t tag in (Madden: “Hey she wants it. They all want it.”) so Kanyon takes Buff down on his own instead. A clothesline puts Buff on the floor and Hudson suggests he tags in his mom. Kanyon shoves Judy off the apron and loads up a Kanyon Cutter on Pamela. Now brace yourselves for this: Gene Okerlund runs in for the save and kicks Kanyon low, setting up a Blockbuster for the pin.

Now we get the Russo interview because we’re just that lucky. Tony promises that Russo will be shooting from the hip here and you can feel Russo’s temperature rising at those insider terms. Apparently this is a different version because some of the stuff couldn’t be said on Thunder or here tonight.

Russo says we’ll hear the truth about what happened at Bash at the Beach someday but for now you would have to talk to the lawyers. Tony brings up Russo leaving the WWF and Russo talks about ratings, including quoting numbers and saying the company has plateaued since he left (wrong). He knows there’s a group here who can thrive if they can get around the politics backstage.

That wasn’t benefiting WCW but now a lot of those people are gone and WCW is improving. The first time Russo was here, he took the ratings from a 2.8 to a 3.4 but then he left. He’s back to do the right thing for the young guys now and Booker T. as champion is proof of that. Tony brings up Russo being on screen in a bunch of angles (his word) and Russo seems very pleased with his Flair feud. He’s happy with never being on TV again, even though he’s shooting (his words) about knowing Flair has a receipt for him.

Russo is from New York and has his eyes on Starrcade which is taking place in Long Island (no it’s not). He wants John Rocker in the ring at Starrcade to give him a beating. For those of you not familiar with 2000 sports references, Rocker was a pitcher for the Atlanta Braves who went on one heck of a rant against New York, making sure to insult almost every group of people you can imagine in the process.

Russo doesn’t care what the ratings are and doesn’t care what Nash, Goldberg and Steiner are talking about doing in the three way on Sunday. They don’t like people they work for but Russo doesn’t like some of the people working for him. “And that’s a shoot.” The finish will be what’s best for the company and that’s that.

I’m almost to the point where I can’t even get annoyed at these things anymore. The worst part is looking back at these interviews and statements that he makes on national television and wondering how so many people gave him job after job over the years. At least here he’s just a year removed from working in the WWF and having real success. After that though it’s been one disaster after another with stuff like this making Russo look like the most out of his mind writer ever.

On top of that, we’re just supposed to forget about Russo being all evil to Ric and accept him as the savior of the company who is standing up for the young guys, apparently none of whom got where they are on their own. No, only Nash, Goldberg and Steiner are actually doing anything on their own. Just as it was before: the old guys are the stars and the young guys are given whatever Russo hands them. What a mess this company is and what a maroon Russo really is.

Sting vs. Scott Steiner

Pipe on a pole match with Sting going off with a chair to start. They head inside with Sting nailing a dropkick but diving into an overhead belly to belly (not a t-bone Tony). Scott takes over with his usual and gets two off the bicep elbow. The announcers aren’t exactly clear on how you win here because they’re not all that bright. Sting tries a clothesline but the referee gets decked, drawing out Rick Steiner. Rick grabs the pipe and throws it to Scott, which apparently counts as a win.

Rating: D-. So the referee didn’t know how to win either? And we had a run-in and a ref bump? On top of that there was barely any reason for the pipe and pole rules as neither guy showed any interest in going for it. This is another great example of how off the wall everything they’re doing right now really is.

Scott hits Sting with the pole and chokes him until Nash runs out with a chair for the save. Security breaks everything up.

Post break, Nash/Sting vs. the Steiners is made.

Mike Awesome and his friend Heidi are out for commentary.

WCW World Title: Lance Storm vs. Booker T.

Booker is defending. Before the match, Storm says he’s going to become an all time Canadian great like Wayne Gretzky, Donovan Bailey, Doug Flutie (American who played in Canada) and Warren Moon (same). Booker starts fast with a spinning kick to the face as Heidi has ham sandwiches delivered. This causes an argument as she wanted donuts but she’ll settle for the sandwiches. Storm sends Booker to the floor for a dive as Madden makes Mama Cass jokes.

Back in and Lance can’t get the Maple Leaf on the bad leg and a superkick is blocked as well. Booker’s two kicks get a near fall but Storm spins out of a German suplex attempt and grabs the Maple Leaf. The chants of USA get Booker over to the ropes and he comes back (with his leg seemingly fine) with a spinebuster for two. A missile dropkick gets the same on Storm but the Book End is enough to put him away and retain Booker’s title.

Rating: B. That might be high but I was having a good time with this, sandwiches and bad comedy aside. Storm has been on a roll since he got here and this was the logical payoff for his angle. I do kind of wish they had built it up more though and not done the whole thing in the span of a month but it’s been fun while it’s lasted.

Post match Jeff Jarrett runs in and goes after Booker’s knee again, including breaking the Canadian flag over the leg. Storm will have none of that and decks Jarrett, only to have Jeff take it to the floor. The guitar hits Heidi though and Awesome is furious. Mike chases Jeff back inside and right into a Book End.

After a break, Jarrett wants a match with Awesome tonight.

A-Wall goes looking for the Filthy Animals and finds the Nitro Girls by mistake, earning him a beating with shoes.

It’s time for Torrie Wilson Appreciation Night. Kidman comes out and apologizes for everything he’s done to Torrie in recent weeks and offers chocolates and champagne to make up for it. We see Shane and Torrie arguing in the back over whether this is legit or not. Here’s Torrie to accept the flowers but she looks a bit confused.

Kidman talks about her sweet sixteenth birthday party and we’ve got another tape. The video shows a good sized woman eating cake as fast as she can, not even waiting for the candles to be blown out. Photos of Torrie at 16 rain down from the ceiling and here’s Shane for a failed save attempt. Instead Reno comes out and drops Kidman with the Roll of the Dice.

MIA and the Animals are brawling in the back but the Animals get into a car with the titles. They open a door and find Kronik waiting with sledgehammers, because that’s where those two stand all the time. Disco surrenders the belts and gets chokeslammed onto the hood of the car.

Major Gunns drags Tygress out to the mud pit but Miss Hancock comes out to jump Gunns, leaving all three of them in the mud. Gunns gets the worst of it.

Mike Awesome vs. Jeff Jarrett

Awesome starts fast and throws Jeff down with a suplex. A Stinger splash in the corner sets up some right hands to Jarrett’s head until he elbows Mike out to the floor. Mike gets in a chair to the back and it’s already table time. Jeff hits him in the ribs with the chair to save himself and they head back inside. Awesome runs up the corner for a back elbow to drop Jarrett again. Ignore the fact that he missed Jeff by a few feet and took him down with the wrong elbow.

Cue Lance Storm with the broken flag for a distraction but Mike clotheslines Jeff’s head off anyway. Storm offers another distraction so Jeff can rip a chain from around Awesome’s neck to knock him down for two. Mike knocks Storm onto the table but walks into the Stroke to give Jeff the pin.

Rating: D+. Not terrible here and it was much more about the storyline development than the match itself. Storm vs. Awesome could have been fun if they had just let them have a match but I’m sure you know how that’s going to go. Fun enough match here though, despite there being way too much going on.

Kwee Wee insults Pamela’s clothes and tells everyone that they won’t like him when he’s angry. There’s a woman with him named Papaya, who Kwee Wee refers to as his wife.

Kevin Nash/Sting vs. Steiner Brothers

Before the match, Steiner threatens to put his foot so far up one of them that they’ll be flossing with his shoelaces. I wonder if we’ll have any mention of Sting and Nash being former World Tag Team Champions. Brawl to start of course with the Steiners being sent out to the floor, meaning it’s time to stall a lot.

Rick and Nash start things off with Big Kev getting in his stuff in the corner. Nash shrugs off some right hands in the corner and slams Rick down to set up a top rope splash from Sting. A rake to Sting’s eyes allows for the tag off to Scott and it’s time for the Tree of Woe choke. It’s back to Rick for two off a belly to belly as the announcers talk about the backstage issues leading into the triple threat.

Sting fights back and dives over for the hot tag behind Scott’s back. Everything breaks down and Sting is tagged back in, only to get suplexed by Scott. Nash powerbombs Rick onto but not through the announcers’ table. Cue Goldberg to break up the Recliner, giving Sting the pin on Scott.

Rating: D-. Yeah what else were you expecting here? No one was really interested in doing anything and it was more about setting up the triple threat than any issues these guys happened to be having. Rick Steiner continues to just be there despite no real reason for having that spot. Well other than being the brother of a crazy man that is.

Post match Goldberg kicks Sting down and stares Nash down to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. There was some good stuff in here but not enough to save it. The problem continues to be either the over thinking or the flat out nonsense that they throw in and unfortunately you know it’s only going to get worse. Guys like Booker and Storm can only do so much so enjoy them while you can. Otherwise….egads this place is a mess.

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Thunder
Date: August 2, 2000
Location: Hulman Center, Terre Haute, Indiana
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Stevie Ray, Mike Tenay

New Blood Rising is almost here and these shows just get worse and worse. Monday was another show where it felt like WCW was mad at us for watching them and were trying to get rid of as many remaining fans as they could. I don’t want to imagine how bad Thunder could get. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Lance Storm to open things up. Just like he did with the other titles, he’s renaming the Cruiserweight Title to the Canadian 100 Kilograms and Under Championship. That brings out the Cat to say that Storm is defending a title tonight. Storm: “Which one Cat? I’ve got a bunch of them.” Cat thinks the fans want to see title matches so tonight Storm is defending the Cruiserweight Title against Juventud Guerrera, the Hardcore Title against Norman Smiley and the US Title against the Cat himself. It’s time for the first title defense because why not have it now when you could build it up for later?

Cruiserweight Title: Lance Storm vs. Juventud Guerrera

Storm is defending and Cat dances to the Filthy Animals’ music before leaving. We’re still not ready to go though because Storm has a rule booklet saying that this has to be under Scientific Rules. Therefore, the rest of the Animals have to head to the back. On a side note, shouldn’t this be Chavo getting his rematch instead of Juvy? Storm jumps Juvy to start but gets caught in a bad looking hurricanrana to send him outside. A big flip dive over the top takes Storm down again but he avoids a high cross body back inside.

Not that it matters as Juvy drops him again and gets two off a falling springboard splash. He loads Storm up on top for a hurricanrana, which Stevie describes as “setting up a move here.” Storm stops a charge with a boot in the corner, only to walk into a bulldog for no cover. Instead it’s something like White Noise for two on Storm but he quickly counters a hurricanrana into the Maple Leaf to retain.

Rating: B-. Storm really can do no wrong at this point but I haven’t seen Juvy going this hard in a long time. This was a really fun fast paced match with some good looking high flying and a solid ending as Storm continues to be the best thing going in WCW at this point. How he avoided being screwed up for so long is beyond me but he pulled it off.

The announcers show us a clip from after Nitro with Kronik running in to save Booker and Sting. As in the Sting WHO WAS LIT ON FIRE and seems to be fine.

General Rection yells at MIA as he always does.

Booker arrives and Tony is shocked to see him limping.

Smooth the limo decides Skip Over needs a better name.

Here are Miss Hancock and David Flair with something to say. Hancock asks if she’s the kind of woman who would roll around in mud for a dollar. She thinks the mud might make Major Gunns look better, so here are the Misfits to interrupt.

David Flair vs. Sgt. A-Wall

Wall starts fast with a powerslam and some stomps. David tries chops and stops to strut with the expected result of being launched out to the floor. A chair doesn’t make things any better as Wall punches it into David’s face. Back in and a chokeslam through the table ends David quick.

The Nitro Girls are here (because of course they are) when an unnamed man (soon to be named Reno) comes in to yell at Siren. She says she was with the girls on Monday but here’s Shane Douglas to tell him where she really was. We can’t hear what he says but Reno isn’t happy. See, if you insist on using the Nitro Girls in stories, this is the better way: have them as plot devices to advance stories instead of having them be the story.

Skip Over gives Terry Taylor a piece of paper and Terry says he’ll make it happen.

Jeff Jarrett wants to talk to Vampiro about their elimination tag tonight but Vampiro isn’t all that interested.

Tank Abbott has written a new song for 3 Count. Freaking sweat!

Kidman vs. Elix Skipper

Apparently the paper was the new name, which also includes the moniker “Prime Time Player.” Kidman isn’t a fan and baseball slides him out to the floor. Back in and Kidman sends him into the turnbuckle but Skipper debuts the Matrix move to avoid a cross body. A headscissors puts Kidman down, only to have him come back with a dropkick to the face. Cue Shane and Torrie as Kidman grabs the BK Bomb, only to have Reno come in and lay him out with a rolling cutter (Cross Rhodes). Skipper adds the Rocker Dropper for the academic pin.

Cat promises Mike Awesome a title shot at New Blood Rising if he wins the title tonight. Point for tying up a potential loose end at least.

Shane is in the back again and calls Judy Bagwell a redneck. Bagwell attacks and they’re pulled apart.

Sean O’Haire vs. Shawn Stasiak

Chuck Palumbo sits in on commentary and we look at him as the match starts in the ring. We finally start watching as O’Haire nails a superkick, only to miss a charge in the corner. That means it’s time for generic heel offense a go-go from Stasiak as he chokes and elbows while Stevie talks about ballet for some reason. Stasiak’s Death Valley Driver is countered into a DDT but his comeback is cut short as he’s sent out to the floor.

Palumbo loads up the exercise bar but Stevie pulls him back into his seat. Stasiak gets two off a PerfectPlex (northern lights suplex according to Tony because he’s too distracted arguing with Tenay over Stevie’s level of coolness) as Jindrak and Palumbo fight at ringside. O’Haire pops back up with a spinwheel kick and the Seanton Bomb for the pin.

Rating: D+. O’Haire has talent but he’s certainly still best as part of a team at this point. Stasiak on the other hand would be better off as a driver’s education teacher somewhere in Oklahoma. The guy simply does not have it in the ring and it’s getting more and more annoying to watch him every time he gets in the ring.

Gene Okerlund is in a neck brace while talking to the Bagwells. Buff wants Shane tonight and makes jokes about his performance issues from last week. Judy swears a lot because it’s funny.

Hardcore Title: Lance Storm vs. Norman Smiley

Storm is defending and Big Vito comes out for commentary. The Canadian flag comes down again but the music stops halfway through, allowing Norman to come out with the American flag. We’re not ready yet though as the Canadian rulebook says the title has to be defended with no weapons and the match can only end via submission. Storm isn’t pleased with his dancing challenger so they trade wristlocks instead. A pinfall reversal sequence doesn’t go anywhere so Norman elbows him in the face.

Norman stops to dance though, allowing Lance to come back with a nice dropkick. Vito sounds annoyed that Norman is wrestling in a shirt but Smiley’s splash hits knees. The swinging slam sets up the Big Wiggle but the referee gets bumped, allowing Storm to hit Smiley with the American flag. The Maple Leaf retains Storm’s title.

Rating: C-. See, this is a story that makes sense and is being played out logically. Storm is a guy capable of winning any single match on his own but he needs to cheat when he has so much to do. That’s a logical, well written character and it makes for a good story. As I said before, Storm is one of the best things going today and the simple storytelling is a big reason why.

Vito comes in to break up the hold.

Torrie threatens to sue Judy if she gets in her face tonight.

Shane Douglas vs. Buff Bagwell

Bagwell starts fast by hammering away in the corner and grabbing a swinging neckbreaker. A Vader bomb gets two on Shane so Torrie trips Buff, allowing Shane to get in an atomic drop. Shane snaps (work with me here) off Three Amigos and a powerslam, followed by the Pittsburgh Plunge for two. Torrie throws in a chair so here’s Judy to start a catfight. Kidman runs in and dropkicks the chair into Shane’s face, setting up the Blockbuster to give Buff the pin.

Rating: D. These two just do not have very good chemistry together, though there’s far worse out there. The Kidman and Torrie stuff helps but Shane really isn’t the most interesting guy in the world. It doesn’t help that Buff is almost even less interesting and it’s probably about time to turn him heel again because he’s been a face long enough now.

Post match Torrie goes after Judy again but here’s Kanyon to help beat down Mama Bagwell. Buff makes the save but walks into a Kanyon Cutter onto the chair. Mike Awesome makes the real save.

After a break, Buff gets off the stretcher and says he wants to fight Kanyon tonight. Awesome says he’ll do it himself. Apparently Mike thinks Judy is good looking.

Sting tells Booker that he doesn’t have to fight on that bad leg but Booker wants to take out that sucka.

The Vince Russo interview will not air tonight because “WCW management” won’t allow it. One of the few things they actually build up and then oh forget about it because we’ve changed our mind.

Mike Awesome vs. Positively Kanyon

Awesome has one of his women with him. More interestingly though, Tony says that tickets are going on sale for Nitro on August 28 two days from now. They’re only starting to sell tickets 24 days in advance? Tickets sold for that event: about 4,600 out of about 13,000 seats. I’m sure there’s no connection there. Before the match, Mike reiterates that Judy is good looking.

Kanyon actually charges in so Awesome runs him over with a clothesline. Commentary goes silent for a bit and comes back talking about the three way at New Blood Rising. Stevie actually brings it back to focus as Kanyon hits Awesome low to slam him out of the corner. A sitout spinebuster gets two for Kanyon and a neckbreaker out of the Tree of Woe (not a Kanyon Cutter Tony) gets two more.

Kanyon lays out the referee for no apparent reason and gives a photographer (As in a guy holding a camera and taking pictures. Stevie: “Is that a photographer?”) a Kanyon Cutter. Some more production guys get the same but here’s Judy with a loaded purse to knock Kanyon silly, setting up the Awesome Bomb to give Mike the pin.

Rating: D+. Not the worst match here but Awesome’s gimmick is killing him. Kanyon’s cutters all over the place continue to be entertaining but they need to have Page come back and Diamond Cut him in half at some point. Given that this is WCW, I’d bet on them joining forces because Page respects him now or something.

US Title: Lance Storm vs. The Cat

Storm is defending one more time. Cat interrupts the national anthem one more time and kicks Storm in the face. Back in and they slug it out with Cat taking over before taking Storm down with a low blow. That’s rather lame of him. Storm’s sunset flip is broken up by dancing, a crotch chop, and a shot to the face. You can’t say Cat is just going through the motions out there.

They head outside with Storm superkicking him to take over, followed by the springboard missile dropkick (looks great as always) back inside. Cat comes back with a Feliner to knock Storm into the referee, allowing Great Muta to run in and give Cat one of the best looking dragon screw legwhips I’ve ever seen. The Maple Leaf gives Storm the easy submission.

Rating: C-. It was clear that Cat hadn’t wrestled that often and that he really shouldn’t be very often these days. He wasn’t going to be able to last much longer and that really shouldn’t be the case just four minutes into a match. Storm wrestled three matches tonight and was in better condition than Cat who wrestled once. That really shouldn’t happen but Cat didn’t wrestle much at this point so it’s a bit more understandable.

The good guys in the main event promise to win because the other four guys are player haters.

WAY too long video on Gunns vs. Hancock.

Vampiro tells Demon he’s on his own at New Blood Rising and that he wants nothing to do with Jarrett after tonight.

Jarrett calls Gene a broke neck slapnut.

Booker T./Sting/Kronik vs. Great Muta/Vampiro/Demon/Jeff Jarrett

Elimination tag. Booker is limping badly on the way to the ring. It’s a brawl to start with the good guys cleaning house and Booker’s knee being strong enough for a side kick to the face. Muta sneaks in and goes after Booker as we hear about Sting being on Vampiro with a chair. Of course we can’t see that but we do get to see Adams cleaning house inside.

High Times eliminates Muta in just over a minute. Again: why did he bother to come back? Cue Cat to go after Muta as the referee breaks up High Times to Jarrett through the table. That’s fine with Kronik as they chokeslam the referee instead, earning themselves a double elimination. Sting gets triple teamed by Jarrett, Demon and Vampiro as the match actually settles down.

Jarrett lures Booker in so they can…..not cheat in the slightest. It’s off to Vampiro to stay on Sting until a double clothesline puts both of them down. Booker comes in to pound on everyone, including an ax kick to Demon. Jarrett bails and gets counted out, followed by double finishers to give Sting and Booker the double pin to wrap it up.

Rating: D-. Leave it to WCW to give us a six minute Survivor Series match with one person walking out, two people getting disqualified and three pins. As usual, the match went by so fast that it didn’t have time to mean anything and the action that we got was mainly chaos with a quick wrestling portion at the end. Of course they couldn’t cut ANYTHING else out to give this more time either.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t their worst show ever and amazingly enough it was a show centered around a wrestler wrestling. It also helps that the Russo interview didn’t air, which was false advertising but probably a lot better than whatever nonsense Russo would have gone on about in his talk. The less said about the upcoming triple threat the better and it made for a much easier show this week. Not good mind you, but easier.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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