WWE Vault Grab Bag V
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Lord Alfred Hayes, David Crockett, Jim Ross

It’s time to dip back into the randomness that is the WWE Vault (and various other WWE Youtube channels) as there is a lot of stuff I’d like to see. Today we’re going to look at some more random entries, which could be a mixture of matches and/or segments. Either way, they should be from all over the place so let’s get to it.

From a WWE house show in Jonesboro, Arkansas, August 26, 2017.

John Cena vs. Samoa Joe

From what I can find, this is only one of two matches they ever had in WWE, with the other one coming the previous night. Joe powers him down to start and Cena starts bouncing a lot. A headlock slows Cena down again before running the ropes, with Cena hitting a shoulder. Cena’s headlock doesn’t work very well as Joe backs him into the corner for the quick shot to the face.

Joe sends him outside and then kicks him down back inside, meaning we get what looks like a Hulk Hogan pose of all things. A quick AA attempt is blocked and Joe’s enziguri gets two, meaning it’s time to get frustrated. Joe puts him down again for two more and knocks Cena into the corner, leaving Joe to walk around for a bit. Cena avoids a charge in the corner, only to get elbowed in the face.

Joe misses the backsplash though and Cena starts the usual comeback. The AA is countered with a grab of the rope and the referee gets knocked outside. Cena gets the STF for the unseen tap and of course lets go, allowing Joe to get in a low blow. Joe grabs a chair but Cena ducks and hits the AA for the clean pin at 10:00.

Rating: C+. This was more of a “whoa that match happened” and that’s not a bad way to go. It’s one of the appeals of a house show as a few fans got to see the match, even if it was rather basic. That’s all it needed to be and while I could have gone with a far bigger stage, I’ll take getting to see them have a decent match.

From a WWF house show in Long Island, New York, October 24, 1997.

Tag Team Titles: D-Generation X vs. Legion Of Doom

LOD is defending and Michaels tells a fan to suck it as Animal shoves HHH into the corner to start. Animal powers both of them down at the same time as Chyna is not pleased on the floor. We settle back down to Hawk slamming Michaels, who bails outside, with HHH and Chyna massaging the back of his tights. Back in and Michaels bails straight to the floor, only to get gorilla pressed by in by Animal, where Hawk clotheslines him right back to the floor for a big pratfall.

We settle down a bit with Animal grabbing a headlock and grinding Michaels down again as it’s all LOD thus far. The bearhug goes on but Michaels gets out and hands it off to HHH, who gets bearhugged as well. That’s broken up a bit faster and it’s a high/low to take over on Animal. HHH knocks Animal into the corner and Michaels comes back in with a sleeper. A belly to back suplex puts Michaels down but he makes the tag at the same time, allowing HHH to come in for a sleeper of his own.

It’s already back to Michaels for a front facelock but he accidentally ax handles a cheating HHH. The tag brings Hawk back in and the fans certainly seem to approve. Everything breaks down and Michaels gets in a belt shot to Hawk for the pin and the titles at 13:01. And hang on as here’s another referee to say what happened so no title change, as it’s a DQ instead. Actually the brawl keeps going and NOW it’s a DQ. Ok then.

Rating: B-. This was a fun match and that’s all I can ask for with a match like this one. What mattered the most here was that they had two teams who were both working hard and it felt like a big match. You don’t get that kind of thing very often and it was better than I was expecting. Michaels and HHH were a good team in their own right and the LOD had so much experience that they could do this kind of match so easily. I’d call this a nice surprise and it actually lived up to some of its hype.

Post match Chyna gets in and jumps Hawk, leaving DX to have to break up a Doomsday Device. Michaels chairs Animal but Hawk takes it away and sends Michaels running to wrap it up. Somehow DX wins on a DQ, presumably because the LOD beat them up too much. You know, instead of the belt shot which was called.

From a WWE house show in Leeds, England, November 8, 2021.

Walter vs. Cesaro

That would of course be Gunther before the name change. Cesaro backs him up against the ropes to start and gets shoved away. Walter misses the big chop and it’s off to a test of strength, with Walter actually getting the better of things. Cesaro’s headlock takeover puts Walter down for a change and grinds away for a little while. Back up and they trade the shoulders, with Cesaro’s jumping version working a bit better.

A shot to the throat puts Cesaro down though and we lower the pace. The double arm crank goes on, with Walter knocking him down to cut off an escape bid. The chinlock has Cesaro in more trouble and this one stays on for a good while. Cesaro fights up and knocks Walter down, so naturally the fans want the Swing. That’s not happening so they strike it out instead until Walter hits the dropkick.

The powerbomb gets two and it’s off to the sleeper to put Cesaro down. That’s broken up in a hurry though and Cesar scores with Swiss Death. Now the Swing goes on and Cesaro follows with the Sharpshooter, sending Walter over to the rope. The springboard uppercut is blocked though and Walter kicks him in the face. A whip into the post sets up a German suplex into the top rope splash to give Walter the pin at 14:27.

Rating: B. This started slowly and the chinlock in the middle hurt it a bit, but this wound up being quite the hard fought match. That’s what the match needed to be as you kind of know what you’re getting when you have Cesaro vs. Walter. Cesaro wasn’t about to go over the up and coming monster, but they had a good fight here and that’s what it was supposed to be.

From a WWE house show in Dublin, Ireland, June 18, 2005.

Smackdown World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Kurt Angle

Cena is defending and a certain Steve Austin is guest referee. This is also a rare outdoor match and it’s a cool visual with various buildings and trees in the background. JBL yells about being a former champion before the match and shadow boxes/kicks while Angle makes his entrance. We’re clipped to Angle elbowing Cena as JBL is down on the floor. A backdrop sends Angle outside so JBL is in to boot Cena in the face.

We’re clipped a few times to Cena fighting out of JBL’s sleeper but a big boot drops him again. We’re clipped again to Cena superplexing JBL and making the comeback. Cena initiates the finishing sequence and hits the FU for two on Angle. We’re clipped again to JBL countering the ankle lock and sending Angle outside. Cena loads up the finishing sequence on JBL but Angle is back in with an accidental belt shot to Austin.

Angle is kicked outside and the Clothesline From JBL drops Cena, with another referee running in to count two. Cena kicks a chair into JBL’s face so Angle grabs the chair, only to get cut off with a Stunner. Austin pokes JBL’s eye into the AA to retain the title at about 5:00 shown. I’m not going to rate it due to the cuts but it felt like a house show match with Austin there to spice it up a bit.

Post match Austin and Cena celebrate.

From WCW Saturday Night, May 14, 1994.

WCW World Title: Ricky Steamboat vs. Ric Flair

For the vacant title after they went to a draw at Spring Stampede. They go to the mat to start and Steamboat grabs an armbar, with Flair having to escape. Steamboat reverses a headlock into a hammerlock but Flair is back with the half crab. That’s broken up as well and Steamboat grabs a gorilla press to send Flair to the apron, where a suplex brings him back inside.

Cue Colonel Robert Parker with a briefcase full of money as Flair is sent outside again. Back in and Steamboat drops him with a shoulder but runs into a right hand to the ribs. Flair knocks him into the corner and slowly hammers away as we take a break. We come back with Flair sending him outside and then back inside for some near falls. Steamboat can’t armdrag his way out of an armbar but he can chop the skin off of Flair’s chest.

An atomic drop out of the corner gets Flair out of trouble and he grabs a chinlock. Yes he puts his feet on the ropes and no that shouldn’t be a surprise whatsoever. Back up and they chop it out again with Steamboat getting the better of things, allowing Flair to be rocked even more than usual. Steamboat’s dropkick misses though, as does Flair’s big elbow drop. Flair is back with a poke to the eye and Steamboat needs a breather on the floor. Back in and a sunset flip gives Steamboat two but he charges into a boot in the corner.

As usual Flair goes up top and as usual he gets caught and superplexed for two. Flair plants him down for a breather though and we slow the pace a bit. A poke to the eye lets Flair grab a sleeper, with Flair even on Steamboat’s back. That’s finally broken up and Steamboat chops away again as we take another break.

We come back again with Steamboat winning another chop off (it works, so keep going back to it) but getting his dive punched out of the air. Back in and Flair misses a knee drop, allowing Steamboat to wrap the knee around the post. The Figure Four has Flair in trouble, with Heenan screaming how to break out. Flair finally makes the rope (now what Heenan said to do but it did work) so Steamboat is right back on the leg. Steamboat chops him so much that Flair falls down for two and we take a third break.

We come back again with Steamboat missing something off the top and they’re both down again. Steamboat comes up favoring his own knee, allowing Flair to grab a delayed vertical suplex. His own leg is hurt as well though and it’s another double down. Flair is up and on Steamboat’s leg, with the Figure Four going on. The ropes makes it even worse, but the referee finally catches Flair to break it up. Steamboat knocks him back down but Flair is still up first, only to get caught with a chop. A gorilla press brings him crashing down but they’re back up with another collision.

Steamboat’s sleeper is countered into a belly to back suplex so he goes up again, with Steamboat top rope superplexing him for a crash. A big chop off the top gives Steamboat two and he tries the high crossbody but hits both Flair and the referee. Back up and they trade rollups for two each as they’re somehow still moving at a high speed about 45 minutes into the match. Steamboat tries a leapfrog but seems to get headbutted low, giving Flair the pin and the title at 47:06. Parker never got involved at all.

Rating: A-. There’s a reason these two wrestled each other so many times for the better part of twenty years. Sweet goodness this was amazing stuff with both guys staying crisp throughout and a sense that the match really could have ended multiple times. It’s just high level, technically incredible wrestling between two guys who could do this stuff in their sleep. It says a lot when this is pretty firmly on the low end of their series, as it’s an instant classic with only the kind of sudden ending holding it back. Definitely check this out, plus pretty much anything else they’ve done, ever.

From a WWF house show in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada, January 16, 1989.

WWF Title: Randy Savage vs. Bad News Brown

Savage, with Elizabeth, is defending in a Harlem Street Fight and they’re both in street clothes. Brown jumps him on the way in and they’re quickly outside with Savage striking away. A headbutt cuts Savage off though and a chair is thrown inside so Brown can use it to choke. Brown takes him back outside but punches the post, allowing Savage to ax handle him back inside.

Savage takes off his weightlifting belt and blasts Brown in the ribs. Brown is back up with another chair shot and sends Savage crashing over the barricade. A table (remember, this is 1989) is set up in the corner but Savage sends Brown into said table. There’s no referee as Brown hits the Ghetto Blaster for no count. A slam gets the same result so brown yells at the referee, allowing Savage to grab a backslide to retain (with the count from a second referee) at 6:49.

Rating: B. This didn’t last long and no it wasn’t as smooth as the kinds of street fights etc. that you would see in the future, but these guys beat the fire out of each other and it felt like a fight. The big thing here was that Brown basically beat him up and then got caught in the end. There was absolutely something to Brown, who was WAY ahead of his time and could have been incredible about ten years later. Still though, good stuff here, with Savage being more than capable of doing this kind of thing.

Post match Brown kicks Savage outside and then ties the original referee up in the Tree Of Woe. Brown easily takes Savage down into the corner but Savage is back up with a running ax handle. Some other wrestlers come in to break it up, or at least they do after a few misfires.

From WCW Worldwide, May 14, 1988.

NWA United States Tag Team Titles: Midnight Express vs. Fantastics

The Express, with Jim Cornette, is defending and after their usual pre-match hugs, we’re ready to go. Fulton and Lane start things off with Fulton knocking him down without much trouble. A running shoulder drops Lane again and it’s time for the champs to regroup. Lane wrestles him down and quickly gets a hammerlock, which works so well that he does it again.

We take a break and come back with Lane getting double hiptossed, allowing Rogers to work on an armbar. Rogers sends Lane outside so it’s off to Eaton for a change. Eaton gets in a standing chinlock but charges into a headscissors. Lane teases coming off the top for the save but Fulton shakes the ropes to bring him down and then chills on the top in a great spot.

We take another break and come back with Lane on the floor before coming back inside to headlock Fulton. That’s broken up and it’s back to Rogers to work on Lane’s leg. That earns him an enziguri though and Eaton comes back in, only to get taken down as well. Eaton is knocked to the floor and sent into the post as the Midnights are all discombobulated. Back in and Eaton takes over on Fulton, who comes off the middle rope with a kind of hip attack for two.

A hurricanrana takes Eaton down again and we take another break. We come back with Eaton getting in a shot to the throat, followed by Lane’s karate kick to the chest. The hammerlock goes on and the fans get behind Rogers, with Cornette losing his mind on the floor as only he can. Rogers gets sent into the wrong corner again, with Lane grabbing a Russian legsweep for two more.

We take another break and come back again with Eaton working on the arm. Rogers fights up and brings Fulton back in, only for the Midnights to pull him down into a seated abdominal stretch. Fulton’s throat is pulled across the top rope and an elbow gives Lane two. We take yet another break and come back with the bleeding Fulton getting neckbreakered for two. Eaton goes up top and drops the elbow for two more, followed by Lane kicking away in the corner.

The referee stops to check on Fulton’s cut but Rogers bets him not to stop the match. Fulton grabs Anderson’s leg to beg as well so Lane kicks Fulton in the face. Cornette is up on the apron to demand the match be stopped…and Rogers missile dropkicks Eaton into a rollup to give Fulton the pin and the titles at 36:48.

Rating: A. This has been called the greatest tag match to ever air on television in the United States and….yeah it’s kind of hard to argue. The Midnights were as good of an in-ring team as you could get at this point (if not ever) and the Fantastics could go move for move with them. There is nothing in here remotely bad or even less than good, as everyone is working hard and looks incredibly crisp. Throw in that Eaton hat a 100+ degree fever and was so sick that Cornette was asking him if they needed to cancel the match and it’s even better. Absolutely check this out as it’s a tag team wrestling clinic.

From a WWE house show in New York City, New York, December 26, 2017.

Intercontinental Title: Roman Reigns vs. John Cena

Reigns is defending and I guess this works if it’s all you’ve got. They fight over a lockup to start as the fans are split, as usual in a big cena match. Reigns backs him up against the ropes so Cena grabs a headlock as they’re taking their time to start. That’s switched into a chinlock as Reigns can’t get very far early on. Back up and they go to a test of strength, with Reigns powering him out to the floor. Cena gets back in and is pretty easily knocked down, followed by a headbutt back outside.

We hit…I’m really not sure as it’s a one camera shoot and the fans are in the way but Cena takes over on the floor. Back in and the AA attempt is broken up but Cena grabs a tornado DDT. Reigns fights back with some big right hands and Cena’s comeback is cut off with the corner clotheslines. A big boot drops Cena again but he’s right back with the usual finishing sequence. The AA is countered into a sunset flip to give Reigns two, as does the Samoan drop.

The Superman Punch is pulled into the STF, only for Cena to let go to pull him back to the middle. Now the Superman Punch gets two, as does the AA, with the fans losing their minds on these near falls. Cena goes up but dives into a sitout powerbomb to leave them both down. Back up and they slug it out until Cena tries the AA again. That’s escaped though and the spear retains Reigns’ title at 17:59.

Rating: B. They had the big fight feel going here and that’s what it needed to be. This was the main event with the biggest star of the previous generation coming back to go after one of the biggest stars of today. That’s a main event level match and Cena knows how to bring it as well as anyone else. Good stuff here, especially for a house show with a red hot crowd.

From a WWE house show in Lafayette, Louisiana, March 10, 2024.

Kevin Owens/Becky Lynch vs. Grayson Waller/Nia Jax

Ok then. Waller’s running shoulder can’t get anywhere with Owens and a stomp on the foot doesn’t do much better. For some reason Waller shoves him in the face before handing it off to Jax. A shove actually puts Owens down and it’s off to Lynch for a high crossbody. Lynch kicks her way out of the corner and hits a Diamond Dust for two. The Disarm-Her is blocked so Lynch dropkicks her out to the floor instead.

Waller gets ping ponged between the two of them and a double suplex puts him down again. Jax is back in to run Lynch over though, setting up a reverse Stinkface in the ropes. The regular version makes it even worse as Lynch is gagging. Owens even gives her some water to wake her back up. Lynch fights out of the corner but Waller is right there to cut off the tag.

A Samoan drop gives Jax two and she can’t believe the kickout. Jax’s charge hits the post though and it’s off to Owens to beat up Waller. The backsplash gives Owens two but the Stunner is blocked. Jax forearms Owens into a rollup for two but misses a charge. Lynch Stunners Jax and Owens does the same to Waller, setting up the Manhandle Slam for the pin at 9:44.

Rating: C+. This was the definition of a fun house show match and that’s always nice to see. They didn’t do anything too complicated here and it was all about giving the fans something unique. Owens and Lynch worked well together and they beat up some annoying villains. What else do you want?

From Over The Limit 2012.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan

Punk is defending. Feeling out process to start with neither being able to get anywhere on the ropes. Instead Bryan grabs a headlock and hits a running shoulder, only to get hiptossed down. Punk takes him into the corner and starts in on the leg, including some cranking on the mat. Back up Bryan is able to flip over him out of the corner but the leg is kicked out again.

An Indian Deathlock is broken up as Bryan forearms him in the head, only for Punk to come back with a curb stomp. Bryan gets sent crashing out to the floor but drives Punk back first into the barricade. Punk is draped ribs first across the barricade and we hit the seated abdominal stretch back inside (with commentary reminding us that Kane recently injured Punk’s ribs).

Bryan switches into a surfboard with a dragon sleeper, followed by a heck of a running knee to the back. The Swan Dive gives Bryan two but Punk gets up for a double collision. Punk leg lariats him and hits the swinging neckbreaker as the comeback is on. A backdrop sends Bryan outside and the knee is banged up again. The suicide dive connects but Bryan is able to dropkick him out of the air.

One heck of a kick to the head gives Bryan two so he goes up, only to get crotched. A springboard clothesline gives Punk two and they go into a pinfall reversal sequence. Bryan can’t get the LeBell Lock but he can get kicked in the head for two. The top rope elbow connects but Punk’s knees are banged up again. Bryan gets the LeBell Lock in the middle of the ring, only for Punk to stack him up for the pin at 24:14. Punk taps a second after the pin but it is clearly after.

Rating: A-. This was every bit of the technical masterpiece that you would expect, with the hard strikes and some high flying thrown in. Punk winning clean is a bit of a surprise and thankfully they didn’t do anything screwy by having him tap at the same time. Naturally this didn’t headline the show because it wasn’t…let’s see here…John Cena vs. Johnny Ace. No wonder Punk had a chip on his shoulder.

From a WWF TV taping in Lowell, Massachusetts, August 18, 1993.

Mr. Hughes/Giant Gonzalez vs. Mr. Perfect/Randy Savage

This is the biggest “well ok” match I’ve seen in a bit and Harvey Wippleman is with the villains. Savage gets an interesting introduction with Mike McGuirk telling the fans to “give it all you got” for him. Hughes shoves the rather popular Perfect into the corner to start and then easily punches him down.

It’s off to Gonzalez, who looks even weirder than usual slowly hammering on Perfect. Hughes is back in and gives up the tag to Savage (who could pass for a Captain America knockoff), who is choked down by Gonzalez. A clothesline drops Savage again and it’s back to Hughes to miss a charge into the corner. Perfect comes back in to slug away, including a backdrop. Savage adds a top rope ax handle and Perfect gets a small package for the pin at 7:10.

Rating: C. The weird thing is this match actually made me feel bad for Gonzalez. There is only so much he could do against people literally a foot and a half shorter than him and that became quite the problem. Savage and Perfect couldn’t do much more than punch him, leaving Hughes as the only one they could do anything against. It’s not good, but it certainly had the spectacle.

From a WWE house show in Sydney, Australia, March 3, 2006.

Smackdown World Title: Mark Henry vs. Randy Orton vs. Kurt Angle vs. Undertaker

Angle is challenging. Orton bails to the floor to start, where some women are VERY excited to see him. We’re clipped to Orton back inside, with Undertaker hammering away. Orton bails outside so Angle rolls Undertaker up for two, earning himself a shot to the face. Henry comes back inside to choke Undertaker, as does Henry’s manager Daivari. Angle ankle locks Orton over the barricade, sending him into the crowd.

The other two join them, with Undertaker popping Orton with some right hands, sending him onto a woman who certainly does not seem to mind. Back in and Undertaker chinlocks Angle until Orton rather slowly rolls in for the save. Henry comes in to beat up Undertaker but Orton has to save him from the ankle lock. Undertaker is back up to stomp on Orton, who breaks up Old School.

A superplex puts Undertaker down for two and we’re clipped to Orton breaking up a superplex to Angle. The RKO is blocked but the Angle Slam hits Undertaker instead. We’re clipped again to Undertaker sitting up and chokeslamming Orton for two with Henry making a save. The Angle Slam finishes Orton to retain the title at about 9:00 shown. I won’t rate it due to the clips but what we saw looked good.

Post match Undertaker goes after Orton but has to beat up an invading JBL.

As has been the case with many shows over the years, we’ll wrap it up with a small package. This one features a collection of Mortis dark matches in WWE.

Velocity dark match, August 16, 2003.

Mortis vs. Austin Aries

Or “Austin Arius”, who is billed from St. Louis, where the match happens to be taking place. Aries strikes away to start but misses a high crossbody, allowing Mortis to strike away in the corner. A reverse Walls Of Jericho sends Aries over to the ropes and he gets some boots up in the corner. Aries is back with a discus forearm and a clothesline out to the floor. The slingshot dive misses but Aries is right back up for a missile dropkick. A sitout Dominator finishes Aries at 3:38.

Rating: C. I’m kind of surprised Aries didn’t get a closer look, as he was aggressive here and had some good looking high flying. You could tell he had the athleticism and balance that let him move around rather well. On the other and you have Mortis, who certainly looked cool and could have been fine enough without the Mortal Kombat stuff.

Velocity dark match, August 23, 2004.

Mortis vs. Truth Martini

Mortis punches him down to start but misses a springboard legdrop. Martini’s springboard spinning legdrop misses as well, allowing Mortis to hit a superkick. Back up and Mortis sends him into the corner for a middle rope Boston crab before sending Martini into the post. The crossarm choke goes on and a suplex drops Martini again. A tornado DDT gives Martini two of his own but he gets caught in an electric chair faceplant for the pin at 4:37.

Rating: C-. Ah now this was more like it, as there was nothing to Mortis here other than the look. Mortis does look cool, but his offense was “do a move, stand there, do another move, stand there again”, and so forth. That only works for so long and made a four and a half minute match feel a heck of a lot longer.

Velocity dark match, August 30, 2004.

Mortis/Funaki vs. Jack Bull/Mike Knox

Mortis strikes away at Bull to start so it’s off to Funaki, who gets beaten down by Knox. Bull comes back in to strike away. A reverse tornado DDT gets Funaki out of trouble and it’s back to Mortis. Everything breaks down and Mortis finishes Knox with a lifting Downward Spiral at 4:32.

Rating: C. Again, there’s just not much to say about these matches. Mortis is creepy looking but is teaming with the eternally likable Funaki against a pair of big bald guys. There was nothing to the match and Mortis certainly didn’t stand out, which is kind of the point of the whole thing.

Velocity dark match, October 25, 2003.

Mortis vs. John Walters

This is joined in progress for some reason with Walters flipping over him and hitting a clothesline for two. Walters’ neck crank doesn’t last long as Mortis is back up with a corner clothesline and a middle rope bulldog out of the corner. The superkick gets two and a sitout Alabama slam finishes Walters at 3:07.

Rating: C. Much like the previous matches, there’s something to the idea of this weird looking guy who does unique moves, but the whole Mortis deal was played so slowly. It was like Chris Kanyon was thinking “ok so I’m Mortis now” rather than getting into doing anything. This was another weak match and I’m not surprised WWE didn’t do anything with Mortis as a result.

Overall Rating: A-. The Mortis matches aren’t great, but they’re about the only things close to weak in this set. When you have the Flair vs. Steamboat match, that incredible Midnights/Fantastics match and the rather awesome Punk vs. Bryan match, almost anything else is going to be fine. I got lucky this time with a great set of matches and some actual rarities, which made for a rather fun (albeit crazy long) viewing. Check out those three matches for sure though, as they’re all worth your time.

 

 

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Hulk Hogan Mixtape
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Roddy Piper, Bruno Sammartino, Larry Zbyszko, Gordon Solie, Dusty Rhodes, Jesse Ventura, Gorilla Monsoon, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Gene Okerlund

Well they had to do this. The Mixtapes have mainly featured the biggest and/or most beloved stars in company history and Hogan is WWE mega royalty. These things are absolutely random, with all kinds of matches, promos and segments. The best part is that they often avoid the most well known stuff so it’s almost four hours of less than remembered content. Let’s get to it.

We open with Hulk Hogan’s bouncing chest before he talks about being ready to face Hercules. He’s checked Hercules out and yes he has a body of a god. Hercules even looks like the real one (Huh?) but Hogan has been hanging out in the Garden of Eden with his main squeeze Eve and going 20,000 leagues under the sea. This is where the power lies, meaning the palm of his hand. Hercules has Bobby Heenan with him and that’s nothing new to Hogan, who has beaten everyone Heenan has thrown at him. This is where the power lies (I feel like I’ve heard that somewhere before).

From Summerslam 1990, a show I’ve seen about 1,483 times.

Hulk Hogan vs. Earthquake

Big Boss Man is in one corner and Dino Bravo/Jimmy Hart are in the other. This is a big return for Hogan after Earthquake put him out of action (to film Suburban Commando, so we owe Earthquake a thank you). Earthquake shoves him down a few times and drops him with a shoulder, sending Hogan outside for a chat with Boss Man (who flat out tells him to rake the eyes).

Back in and Hogan does rake the eyes but tries a slam, because that has worked so well for him over the years. Hogan gets sent into the corner but comes right back with some shots to the face, including a running right hand which has Hogan all staggered. The big wind up right hand puts him down (which is all the more impressive when Hogan winds up counter clockwise and then punches clockwise, which…my head huts).

Everything breaks down and the seconds come in, with Hogan and Boss Man hitting some double big boots (the referee doesn’t mind) but Bravo is back with a double slam to drop Hogan. The big elbow gives Earthquake two and he stomps on the fingers to make it worse. We hit the Boston crab (making Hogan tap, which means nothing in 1990 but it’s still a weird visual) and Hogan tries to push out before realizing he’s right next to the rope. Ever the genius, Hogan rolls outside right in front of Bravo, who gives him a slam.

Back in and Earthquake misses the big elbow and Hogan shows his brilliance again by trying, and failing at, a slam. Earthquake grabs the bearhug and Hogan grabs at the referee for some reason, even tearing his shirt. The right hands get Hogan out of trouble and some running shoulders stagger Earthquake. A crossbody of all things is countered into the powerslam, allowing Hogan to do his fish out of water twitching.

A pair of Earthquakes connect…and it’s Hulk Up time, with the fans getting right back into things. Earthquake hammers away and I think you know where this is going (as you’ve probably seen the match before). The big boot staggers Earthquake and a good slam puts him down for the legdrop. Hart comes in for the save and gets thrown at Earthquake as Boss Man takes Bravo out. Hogan goes outside with Earthquake where Hart misses the Megaphone shot. Another slam puts Earthquake onto (not through) a table (yes the show is in Philadelphia) for the countout at 13:17.

Rating: C+. This was all about Hogan’s big return and I’d call that a success, with the fans going coconuts for his usual stuff. Hogan has a reputation of mainly working with monsters and Earthquake is one of the best he ever faced. That was the case here, as Earthquake could move both himself and Hogan around while still looking imposing. The ending is a bit strange as it was designed to set up rematches at house shows, which is hardly what you expect in a high profile match like this. It’s not a great match, but it was all about the reaction from the fans and that worked.

Post match Earthquake chokes Hogan and Boss Man’s chair shots just annoy him. With that not working, Boss Man throws the chair down and whips out the nightstick for a big spin, which sends the villains running (probably the coolest thing Boss Man ever did in his career, as that just looked awesome).

Hogan introduces us to his parents and says he’s the same person he was growing up because of them. And then we have to do another take, complete with Gene getting makeup redone in between.

From I believe Championship Wrestling, August 20, 1980.

Hulk Hogan vs. Andre The Giant

Freddie Blassie is here with Hogan. They lock up and Andre shoves him around without much trouble, though Hogan shoves him right back into another corner. That just earns Hogan a boot to the chest but he easily slams Andre. Another slam plants Hogan right back and a big boot sets up the missed splash. Hogan bails outside and Blassie loads up his elbow pad, which is enough to knock Andre silly. The pad is unloaded as Andre is bleeding…and Hogan and Blassie just leave at about 3:45.

Rating: C+. This had some cool visuals, of course including the slam, which is bizarre to see on an official WWE release from before Wrestlemania III, but it felt like it was there to set up a bigger rematch. Hogan certainly had a lot of his stuff down here, though dang it’s weird seeing him as a heel. That being said, he ticked off Andre and that is about the dumbest thing anyone can ever do.

Post match Andre yells a lot.

We get a quick outtake from an NWO vignette, with Hogan and the Outsiders laughing at how long the interview has gone.

From WCW Worldwide in February/March 1995.

Hulk Hogan/Randy Savage vs. Pretty Wonderful

Hogan and Orndorff start things off with some running shoulders putting Orndorff down. It’s off to Savage to work on Roma’s arm and Hogan even gets in a middle rope ax handle. A cheap shot from behind takes Savage down though and Orndorff hammers away in the corner. Hogan’s attempt at a save just causes more double teaming, further proving that Hogan is a terrible partner.

The double teaming keeps Savage down and Roma gets some near falls. Savage finally fights up and brings in Hogan, who cleans house like he’s Hulk Hogan beating up Paul Roma. The big boot (a size 12 according to Solie, which astounds me that I have bigger feet than Hogan) and legdrop finish Roma at 7:23.

Rating: C. Normally I would say the match was what you would expect, but who would have expectations for the Mega Powers vs. Pretty Wonderful? It’s such a random tag match and while Hogan was very different than what he was doing in his glory days, there is always something to be seen when he faces Orndorff. Roma being there to take the pin is…well pretty much exactly what you would expect.

Hogan does a photo shoot in 2002. Dang that Undisputed Title looked awesome.

We go to the Dungeon Of Doom where the Master and Kevin Sullivan sense Hogan getting closer. Hogan falls through a wall into the Dungeon and realizes there are no Hulkamaniacs here and he’s never been here before. The water isn’t even hot! Hogan goes over to the Master and Sullivan and explains the members of their team. Sullivan threatens to destroy Hulkamania and a wall explodes, with the Giant coming out to choke Hogan down.

From Toronto, Ontario, Canada, December 15, 1985.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Terry Funk

Hogan is defending and steals Funk’s cowboy hat to start. The hat is thrown down and Hogan (in blue trunks and boots for a change) drops some elbows on it as Funk talks to Jimmy Hart. Funk runs away again before getting back inside, where Hogan knocks him into the corner without much trouble.

Funk goes outside again and this time picks up the megaphone, which doesn’t work that well. Back in and Funk chops away on the ropes but gets clotheslined out onto the announcers’ table. Hogan brings him back in and Funk apparently kicks him low, with Hogan heading outside this time. Back in and Funk chokes a bunch, followed by a piledriver for two.

Funk takes him out on the ramp, and Hogan actually Hulks Up out there. They go back inside for a clothesline and elbow to Funk, followed by the big boot (with Monsoon accidentally referring to Hogan as Terry). A suplex is loaded up but Hart trips Hogan, earning himself a big boot. Hogan takes Hart’s boot off and knocks Funk silly (Monsoon: “WHAMMO!”) for the pin to retain at 8:43.

Rating: B-. These two fought a few times and had some good chemistry together, which is at least partially due to Funk being willing to bump like a madman for anyone. Hogan didn’t wrestle people Funk’s size very often and it’s interesting to see him have to change up the offense a bit. Throw in the blue trunks and this was a very different style for him.

Post match Hogan chases Funk off with a chair.

Bill Apter presents Hollywood Hogan with the PWI award for the Most Hated Wrestler Of The Year for 1996 (I’m guessing, as he also won it in 1998). Hogan talks about how the NWO is all about change and he’s hated despite doing so much to put food on the table for so many people over the years. Including Apter.

From New York City, New York, March 24, 1980.

Hulk Hogan vs. Tito Santana

Hogan has Freddie Blassie with him and Santana is a Tag Team Champion. Hogan jumps him with a knee from behind to start and an Oklahoma Stampede (well with a regular slam instead of a powerslam) drops Santana early. Some elbows miss though and Santana fights up with right hands and a dropkick.

Santana works on the arm but Hogan hiptosses him down, setting up the elbow. Hogan knocks him outside and we hit the chinlock back inside. Santana fights up again whips Hogan into the corner, only to get clotheslined back down. A suplex with trunks gives Hogan the pin at 8:13.

Rating: C. This was a very different kind of match than you would see from Hogan but that was due to it being the very early 80s. Santana was already doing his fired up comebacks and knew how to get a crowd going, but Hogan was pretty clearly getting a push here. The lack of a legdrop was certainly weird to see, but this was very, very early Hogan and it showed.

Hulk Hogan runs into Ric Flair, Brie Bella and Jerry Lawler, Pat Patterson (who gets a picture with him and John Cena at a show. Apparently that show is Wrestlemania XXX (I love the RING THIS WAY sign).

We look at Hogan doing a promo in what looks like 1985 but he keeps screwing up his lines.

From Monday Nitro, August 9, 1999.

Hulk Hogan/Goldberg/Sting vs. Sid Vicious/Rick Steiner/Kevin Nash

Hogan is the World Champion and that’s quite the lineup. To make it even bigger, this is Hogan’s return to the Red and Yellow (and to the rather catchy American Made) after more than three years in the black and white. Hogan shoulders Steiner down to start so Steiner grabs a headlock. That doesn’t work for him either as Hogan knocks him down and drops three straight elbows.

Everything breaks down and Hogan beats up all three at once, making me wonder why Sting and Goldberg need to be there. The villains bail out to the floor and now it’s off to Goldberg, who gets to face Nash. The flying shoulder puts Nash down so Sid comes in to choke, only to get kicked down by Sting. A top rope splash hits raised knees though and Sid gets to take over for the first time.

Naturally that’s too much for Sid so it’s back to Nash for the side slam. A turnbuckle pad is ripped off somewhere in there so Nash loads up Snake Eyes, which the referee cuts off. The referee gets bumped so Sting hits some Stinger Splashes into the exposed buckle. Steiner brings in a chair to whack Sting but it gets taken away and Nash is laid out. The Scorpion Deathlock gives Sting the win on the out cold Nash at 8:09.

Rating: B-. In something you don’t hear very often, the crowd carried this so much higher. WCW might not be the most fondly remembered place in this era, but this was a situation where the fans were WAY into what they were seeing. You do not see that from this time and it makes me wonder what might have happened if WCW actually followed up on it, but you know, Russo was the way instead.

Hogan and Randy Savage are at Venice Beach, with Hogan very pleased that Savage has joined the dark side. This is still in 1995, with the two of them promising to get back at the Dungeon Of Doom. A man with a beard is sat between them and seems to agree.

From Huntington, West Virginia, June 15, 1993.

Mega Maniacs vs. Money Inc.

This is a lumberjack match and two days after Hogan lost the WWF Title to Yokozuna at the King Of The Ring. Money Inc. jump them before the bell and are quickly cleared out as Hogan gets to rip the shirt off to Real American. The referee is even fine with ringing the bell while Hogan chokes DiBiase, which has to be a tax violation. Money Inc. is chased to the floor so Jimmy Hart gives Hogan some advice (“Just go to WCW, this isn’t happening.”)

Hogan and DiBiase start things off with Hogan punching his way out of the corner without much trouble. DiBiase is sent outside and gets beaten up by the Steiners, allowing Hogan to grab a chinlock back inside. This allows Afa to caress IRS’ briefcase as Beefcake comes in for a headlock. What looks like a low blow is stopped so it’s off to IRS, who gets headlocked as well. IRS is sent outside for another beating before Hogan comes back in for the running clothesline.

Back up and Hogan is sent outside for a beating from the Headshrinkers, with the Steiners running over for the save (no one saved the villains, showing where the true friendship lies). Back in and the Million Dollar Dream has Hogan in trouble and stays on for such a long time that Hogan should be legally dead. The somehow still alive Hogan gets up and it’s a double clothesline to put them both down. Hogan gets sent outside and then right back inside, where DiBiase gets two thanks to a foot on the rope.

IRS comes in and gets slammed off the top, allowing the rather needed tag off to Beefcake. House is cleaned but Beefcake is sent outside for another group beating. Back in and Beefcake gets punched down for two, with Hogan making the save. A clothesline puts DiBiase down and it’s off to Hogan for the big boot. IRS tries to bring in the briefcase but Hogan takes it away and knocks DiBiase silly for the pin at 14:26.

Rating: C. It was just a post taping dark match with some big stars included in a Wrestlemania rematch. The fans were still going to care about Hogan and it was nice to see him doing something else. At the same time, Hogan and Beefcake weren’t the most thrilling team, mainly because Beefcake could not have been more of a warm body next to Hogan rather than an important part of the team.

Post match the lumberjacks all get in the ring for the brawl, with Hogan being left alone with Giant Gonzalez. Ever the nice guys, Hogan’s friends all stand on the floor and Hogan bails from Gonzalez without throwing a single punch. And this was never mentioned again, as Hogan wouldn’t return to TV before going to Hollywood.

To the AWA! Hogan talks about how he can beat the Heenan Family on his own. He knows he can take the title from Nick Bockwinkel and will wear it around his waist instead of carrying it under his arm like a box of shoes. It doesn’t matter where he has to go, because he will defend the title no matter where he goes in the world. Bockwinkel is only still champion because of Bobby Heenan but he can’t run forever.

From Minneapolis, Minnesota, May 2, 1982.

Hulk Hogan vs. Nick Bockwinkel/Bobby Heenan

Handicap match. Hogan draws a line in the ring and wants Bockwinkel, who is quickly knocked down. Bockwinkel gets shoved into the corner with ease before thinking twice about this. A headlock doesn’t work either as Hogan shoves him away at the “five minute” count. The villains are sent into each other and we pause for a meeting on the floor.

Back in and a shot to the throat and a low blow don’t do much to Hogan, who knocks Bockwinkel away again. Hogan sends him into the corner for the tag off to Heenan but Bockwinkel stays inside. A cheap shot (at the ten minute mark, which is really eight) lets Bockwinkel choke but Hogan reverses for a choke of his own.

The missed charge hits the buckle and now Heenan is willing to come in and stomp away. More choking has Hogan in trouble, with Heenan getting to use a towel for the same. Hogan powers up on the kickout and we start what would become the Hulk Up. Heenan comes off the middle rope with an ax handle and that goes as well as you would expect. Hogan sends them together and drops the leg on Bockwinkel for the 12:19.

Rating: C. This was more of a way to hype up the endless string of title matches between Hogan and Bockwinkel. Hogan pinned him here with the legdrop and he could do it again in a title match. At the same time, the match was pretty basic with a bunch of punching and choking. I was more than a bit surprised that Heenan didn’t take the fall, but this makes more sense.

Post match Hogan beats Heenan up again (no wonder Heenan never liked him) and sends Bockwinkel outside. Heenan gets choked a lot and then tossed over the top as well.

Hollywood Hogan spray paints a wall and explains that the HH are from him.

We get some behind the scenes footage of a Hollywood promo, where he is rather pleased about beating up the Giant and winning the World Title. Now they’re ready for WarGames…and Hogan messes up a line and we have to do it again. In another take, Hogan spray paints a globe to show that the NWO is going to rule the wrestling world. He paints a Hulk Hogan shirt as well and then does the NWO HH signature again. Anything less would be uncivilized. Geez he had some crazy charisma as a villain and it was on display here.

From Monday Nitro, January 19, 1998.

Hollywood Hogan vs. The Giant

Eric Bischoff is here with Hogan but hang on as Hogan has a neck brace. Bischoff says Hogan can’t do this but Giant pulls Hogan over the top and powers him up as the bell rings. Cue Kevin Nash at ringside as Giant slowly knocks him around and chokes in the corner. Giant knocks Hogan up the aisle and then throws him over the top and back inside.

A backbreaker puts Hogan down again but he manages to knock Giant into the corner. With Nash holding the foot, Hogan climbs up and hammers away as the fans keep pointing at the entrance. Hogan hits a running clothesline in the corner and drops the leg…as Randy Savage is here. Well eventually, as he gets up top at about the two count so the referee has to see him and stop. The distraction is enough for Giant to get up and hit a chokeslam for the pin at 5:59.

Rating: C-. Gah I was hoping for the Robin Hood match. The match was rather slow, but the point here was that Hogan lost. Granted it would have been better if he had taken a loss like this about three weeks ago at Starrcade when the loss to Sting needed to be this clean (and this wasn’t exactly clean) but I’ll take what I can get. It’s also not a good sign for the NWO, as the foundation is starting to crack.

We go to 2002 and the Montreal ovation, which just does not stop. If I remember correctly this had to be edited for TV, as it went on for the better part of nine minutes. Hogan’s reaction here is great as you can tell he’s touched.

From Landover, Maryland, July 28, 1984.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Paul Orndorff

Hogan is defending and this doesn’t have any commentary and is shot from a camera on the floor rather than a regular setup. Hogan atomic drops him to start and Orndorff bails to the floor. Back in and Hogan sends him into the corner and hits some elbows as this closeup camera work is messing with me. The big boot puts Orndorff down again but he goes to the eyes to cut Hogan off.

The piledriver triggers the Hulk Up but he doesn’t quite have it down yet so Orndorff knocks him back down. Hogan is busted open but Orndorff knocks him into the referee. Now we get the real Hulk Up (with the fans going nuts) and Hogan fights back, as he is known to do. We seem to jump ahead and come back with Hogan holding Orndorff’s foreign object, which the referee sees and calls for the DQ at 6:29 shown (the whole match runs about 12:00).

Rating: C+. These two always worked well together and it was nice to see them again, even if it wasn’t quite in their heyday. Hogan getting DQ’d sets up the rematch, which is probably something that they did all over the place. The match was fine, though nothing that they hadn’t done better a lot. And with these two, it was a lot a lot.

We go to I believe 1989 with Randy Savage promising to take the title from Hogan at their match that night in England (I’m assuming London).

From New York City, New York, January 27, 1986.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Savage

Hogan is defending and Savage has Elizabeth in his corner. Hogan charges in to start but Savage knocks him down and gets in a belt shot, which is fine with the referee (even commentary gets on him about it). A top rope belt shot puts Hogan down again as Savage still has his robe on. Hogan gets in a shot of his own though and even steals Savage’s sunglasses before sending him outside.

Savage gets sent into the post to bust him open and you know Hogan is going to be right there to stay on the cut. Elizabeth offers a distraction though and Savage gets in a cheap shot to knock Hogan outside. That includes a posting for Hogan, setting up Savage’s top rope ax handle.

Back in and another ax handle connects, followed by the big elbow…for two. Dang that still feels weird to see. Hogan fights up (not Hulks Up but fights up) and hits the big boot before cutting Savage off from going to the floor. Instead Hogan sends him outside in a heap but Elizabeth gets in Hogan’s way to prevent a posting. That lets Savage slip away and post Hogan to win by countout at 8:36.

Rating: C+. Much like the Orndorff stuff, these two were always worth a look and it was a fine enough match, even if it was again set up for the rematch. If nothing else, it was always nice to see Savage getting a win over Hogan, which only happened so often. Monsoon freaking out about Elizabeth was funny too as he couldn’t stand managers, including her.

Post match Hogan is livid and grabs a bearhug, with the dream team of Tiger Chung Lee and Mike Sharpe running in to break it up. They’re finally separated before Savage gets in a cheap shot and runs away. Savage would continue his momentum by winning the Intercontinental Title in a few weeks.

Hollywood Hogan has a baseball bat and makes Back To The Future II references. He hit a home run with Nick Bockwinkel and they mock Sting, Lex Luger and Giant. I’m assuming they just let these things go on for such a long time and then just edited them together for the short clips you would see on the broadcast. Anyway, Hogan promises to win the WCW World Title at Hog Wild.

Hulk Hogan and Mr. T. train for Wrestlemania and my goodness these two would be annoying to be around, as they shout all the time and never shut up.

From WCW Worldwide, November 12, 1994.

Hulk Hogan/Sting vs. Bruise Brothers

The Brothers jump them to start but Hogan and Sting fight back. The Stinger Splash and big boot connect, with the Scorpion Deathlock going on and the legdrop getting the pin at 24 seconds. Well that worked. The post match celebration is a lot longer than the match.

Hollywood Hogan and Dennis Rodman shill shirts. Rodman tells him that it’s ok to go make some more movies because Rodman has this stuff.

From Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, August 8, 2005, a dark match after Raw.

John Bradshaw Layfield/Kurt Angle/Shawn Michaels vs. Batista/John Cena/Hulk Hogan

This was released on the WWE Vault back in 2024. It’s a brawl at the bell to start and they head outside until we settle down to Batista shouldering Angle in the corner. Angle’s right hands just annoy Batista, who shoves him into the corner, where Angle grabs JBL around the waist in a slightly humorous way.

JBL comes in and backs Batista into the corner, where Batista switches him around for some choking. That’s enough for the tag off to Michaels, who actually knocks Batista into the corner. Batista isn’t having that and brings in Cena to slam Michaels off the top. JBL is back in to clothesline (not Clothesline, but clothesline) Cena to take over, with Angle getting to stomp away. Angle grabs a suplex and points at Hogan before stomping away even more.

Michaels comes in to send Cena outside and threatens to beat up the referee for his lousy attitude. Batista’s attempt at a save means the referee doesn’t see Cena using a small package, allowing JBL to…well have his suplex reversed actually. A sleeper goes on but Cena suplexes his way out again. Hogan comes in to clean house and everything breaks down. JBL makes the mistake of going after Hogan and it’s the big boot into the legdrop for the pin at 11:19.

Rating: C+. Ok so this obviously isn’t about the wrestling, as they were mostly in cruise control out there. That being said, the star power here is absolutely off the charts, with JBL, a World Champion and Hall Of Famer, a distant last in that category. You do not see lineups like this very often and it felt special, or at least really cool. It’s a fun thing to see and they probably did this at a lot of Raw’s to blow the fans’ minds.

Believe it or not, the winners celebrate for a long time.

At SuperBrawl V, Hogan is ready for Vader. Gene Okerlund is worried for him but Hogan insists that he’s ready to go even if it means playing possum. Jimmy Hart will be keeping an eye on Ric Flair too.

We get some footage of Hogan training with I believe the co-star of No Holds Barred, who isn’t quite as good in the gym.

We get a quick look at a Hogan/Zeus showdown in No Holds Barred.

From Boston, Massachusetts, June 6, 1987.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Harley Race

Race, with Bobby Heenan, is challenging in a Texas Deathmatch. Hogan jumps him to start fast and they go outside, with Race being sent into the barricade and chaired in the head. Heenan gets chases off so Hogan can choke with tape, only to get kicked low. A falling headbutt on the floor has Hogan in more trouble and they get inside for the first time.

Race hits a piledriver and drops some knees for two so they head outside again. Hogan gets sent into the barricade and gets headbutted as Race slows things back down. Another knee drop gets another two but Hogan reverses a suplex into one of his own. Race chokes him right back down and they go through the entrance, with the curtain being knocked down. Back in and Race chokes him down again and goes up top, only for Hogan to grab the belt and block a headbutt. Another belt shot retains the title at 9:55.

Rating: B-. These two always worked well together, but it was kind of a mess with the belt being brought in at the end. The Texas Deathmatch rules weren’t exactly defined, though anything getting more hardcore around this time was a cool thing to see. Hogan got to mix it up a bit here and of course Race could work with anyone so this was a nice little addition.

Hogan was excited before going into the Hall Of Fame. He does tease getting back in the ring though. For some reason, his mustache looks extra wide here.

We get what looks to be a clip from after Raw, with Hogan doing a People’s Elbow to Scott Hall. This might be the night after Wrestlemania as they have a Canadian flag as well.

We get a vignette for Fall Brawl 1995 and WarGames, with Vader on the team before leaving for the WWF and being replaced by Lex Luger.

We get a sitdown interview with Gene Okerlund from 1991, with Hogan talking about having to deal with Ric Flair, who has signed with the WWF. Hogan talks about his daughter Brooke seeing him win the WWF Title at Wrestlemania and not understanding why Flair has his own title. He knows Flair is great but he wants to know how great. I’d like to know why this was mostly shot from behind Hogan, as it’s a weird visual.

From Halloween Havoc 1994.

WCW World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Ric Flair

Flair, with Sherri, is challenging in a cage and it’s title/career vs. career (how fair) with Mr. T. as guest referee. They actually lower the cage once they’re in the ring and, because WCW, it doesn’t go on straight at first. Heenan sounds almost in tears to start as Flair’s career could be over. Hogan starts with a backdrop and right hands in the corner but Mr. T. actually breaks it up and shoves him away.

This lets Heenan get in a rant about how Flair earned his status and Hogan got here by being nice to kids and the elderly (Heenan: “MAKES ME SICK!”). Flair starts going after the leg to put Hogan down and Mr. T. shoves Flair as well. Flair’s snapmare takes Hogan down as Muhammad Ali is watching in the front row. Hogan fights back and rams him head first into the cage, giving us a Flair Flop. Hogan’s choke with the shirt is broken up by Mr. T. and they shove each other some more, sending Heenan into yet another rant.

Flair goes back to the knee and grabs a rather delayed vertical suplex. Back up and they chop it out before going up top, where Flair gets crotched. A small package gives Hogan two and he hits a big backdrops, followed by the ram into the cage. Flair’s head is raked into the cage and Hogan pounds away, sending Flair bailing over the top. That earns him more rams into the cage and another crotching on top. Hogan stops to do the hand to the ear, which is the kind of playing to the crowd that kept the fans behind him (Sting would do the same kind of stuff).

Flair is able to get in a shot to the knee though and the shinbreaker has Hogan in trouble. The kneepad is taken down and Flair crashes down onto the leg, followed by the Figure Four. That’s turned over and broken up, with Mr. T. getting bumped. Flair hits a belly to back suplex but there’s no referee, with Hogan’s kickout sending Flair onto Mr. T. again. Sherri tries to climb in and Jimmy Hart pulls her…well her skirt down.

Sting cuts Sherri off again but the Masked Man pops out from underneath the ring to beat up Sting and Hart with a lead pipe. Sherri comes off of the cage with an ax handle to Hogan. Flair gets in another shot to the knee and Sherri handcuffs Mr. T. to the rope. Hogan is sent head first into the Masked Man’s pipe and Flair beats on Mr. T.

There’s another suplex but Hogan Hulks Up and clotheslines Sherri and Flair. Sherri gets tossed off the top and Flair goes up, only to get knocked down for the third time. A big boot puts Sherri down and Hogan Hulks Up again, including the big boot. Heenan: “NOT THE LEG! NOT THE LEG!” Hogan drops the leg to retain the title at 19:26.

Rating: C+. Well that was….a lot. You had about five people interfering, a cage and Mr. T. as a terrible referee (who kept getting in the way and then had to be handcuffed so he wouldn’t screw anything else up). By the end, it felt like they were just doing the same stuff over and over to fill in time. Hogan and Flair can work a good match pretty much in their sleep but this was about five minutes longer than it needed to be and it hurt things a good bit.

Muhammad Ali presents Hogan with the title as Heenan is in tears.

Overall Rating: C. Maybe it’s the amount of Hogan I’ve seen over the years, but I was kind of bored by this whole thing. There were a few nice rarities, mainly of Hogan in pre-NWO tag matches in WCW and a few matches here and there, but nothing really stood out. Rather than some kind of awesome look at his career, this felt more like a bunch of DVD extras after you watched all of the good stuff on the main feature. Like, the Flair and Savage matches are fine but how many times can you see those two go after Hogan before it stops being must see stuff? Hogan worked with just about everyone from his era, but this was a lot of mediocre at best stuff.

 

 

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Wrestlemania XXXV
Date: April 7, 2019
Location: MetLife Stadium, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 82,265
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips
America the Beautiful: Yolanda Adams

We’re back to this show after a year away and I’m not sure what to think about this one. I wasn’t in the stadium for this one and for once that is making me remember the show a little bit better. This whole thing is centered around a few matches, as Wrestlemania always tends to be. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Buddy Murphy vs. Tony Nese

Murphy is defending and this is during Nese’s (who won a tournament to get here) not so great face run. First good thing: there are a bunch of people in their seats already so the place doesn’t look ridiculous. Murphy misses a running knee at the bell so Nese hammers away in the corner and tells the fans that this is his Wrestlemania moment. A cartwheel off the apron lets Nese hit him in the jaw but Murphy grabs a fireman’s carry drop onto the corner (Colt Cabana’s Chicago Skyline) as we take a break.

Back with Murphy holding a chinlock but getting suplexed into the corner to cut things off. Some running elbows to the face rock Murphy and the Lionsault, with Murphy hanging in the ropes, gets two. Nese catches him on the ropes with a palm strike, only to get pulled into a Cheeky Nandos kick. A powerbomb into a spinning faceplant gives Murphy two as we get the “still filing in line” from commentary. Murphy’s Law is countered and Nese hits a reverse hurricanrana to put them both down again.

Murphy wins a strike off but Nese is right back with a sunset driver for his own near fall as the fans are finally getting into this. The running Nese doesn’t get to launch so Nese hits the Fosbury Flop instead. Back in and the 450 gets two in a surprising near fall. The jumping knee connects out of nowhere and Murphy’s Law gets two as Nese gets a foot on the rope. Ever the villain, Murphy tries his own running Nese, which is cut off by a superkick. The real running Nese finishes Murphy at 10:44.

Rating: C. The 205 Live guys had several matches that would blow this one away but at least they had a nice moment in the end with the fans getting into things. Nese as a face didn’t exactly click but beating Murphy felt like a bit deal. It’s a nice mini feel good moment to start what is going to be a long night.

Kickoff Show: Wrestlemania Women’s Battle Royal

Zelina Vega, Kairi Sane, Ember Moon, Liv Morgan, Sarah Logan, Ruby Riott, Mandy Rose, Carmella, Maria Kanellis, Asuka, Sonya Deville, Candice LeRae, Naomi, Nikki Cross, Lana, Dana Brooke, Mickie James

Only Naomi and Asuka get entrances. Nikki goes nuts to start and it’s a big brawl, as a battle royal should be. Maria is out in a hurry and Asuka knocks out Candice and Nikki back to back. Ember and Naomi trade hurricanranas until the former hits a quick springboard Eclipse on Lana. Another Eclipse gets rid of Naomi and there’s the real version to Mandy. Ember goes up again but Lana (the one in the designated Captain Marvel attire) shoves her out.

Sane hits an Alabama Slam on Lana and goes up like a schnook, only to get shoved to the apron by Logan. Even the bigger schnook, Logan doesn’t eliminate her but rather joins the rest of the Riott Squad to go after Lana. The elimination doesn’t take long but Sane drops Logan. The Insane Elbow connects, only t have the Squad get together and eliminate Sane without much trouble. An assisted flipping Stunner rocks Vega but AGAIN Logan doesn’t get the elimination.

Instead the Squad goes after Asuka and again they don’t eliminate her. Brooke gets to fight off all three of them and manages a slow motion Thesz press on Morgan. Riott goes after Brooke and gets tossed, with Morgan following her out. Brooke’s handspring elbow hits Vega’s knees though and the running knees in the corner make it worse. Rose and Deville get rid of Vega and Brooke, meaning we can get a big hug.

We’re down to Rose, Deville, Asuka, James, Logan and Carmella, the latter of whom seems to be on the floor because that’s something you have to have in battle royals these days. James hurricanranas Rose to the apron and superkicks her out, only to get dropped by Deville. Asuka beats up Logan and Deville at once but she manages to toss Deville. Logan gets rid of Asuka but, say it with me, Carmella is still in and superkicks Logan out for the win at 10:33.

Rating: D. Holy sweet goodness I can’t stand that finish and yet we seem to get it in every few battle royals (including last year’s women’s battle royal). I know Carmella getting the win is for the sake of the New York fans but egads this feels like a waste of a match, which tends to be the case with so many of these pre-show battle royals. In other words: more of the same stuff that wasn’t good in the first place.

Kickoff Show: Raw Tag Team Titles: Revival vs. Curt Hawkins/Zack Ryder

Revival is defending and picked the match because they thought it would be an easy win. See, Hawkins hasn’t won a match in two and a half years so of course he gets a Wrestlemania title shot (you have to keep the New York crowd happy you see). Dawson shoves Hawkins down to start and then pats him on the cheek in the corner. We get a recap of the Edgeheads as Dawson headlocks Hawkins down.

Ryder comes in as we hear about how the show in “the shadow of New York”, which is acknowledged as New Jersey, likely for one of the only times tonight. A middle rope missile dropkick puts Wilder down but Dawson low bridges him out to the floor. Something close to a top rope Demolition Decapitator gets two and the armbar goes on. Dawson comes back in and rips at the face before working on his own armbar.

That’s enough of that so Wilder grabs another armbar (he’s up 2-1 on Dawson) to keep Ryder down. Ryder fights up again but neckbreakers his way out of a double suplex. With Hawkins being distracted, the champs cheat to set up a hard clothesline for two more. The assisted legdrop gives Wilder two and we hit the chinlock as this keeps going. Ryder finally suplexes his way to freedom and there’s the hot tag to Hawkins.

House is cleaned until it’s a double clothesline to put Hawkins and Dawson down at the same time. The middle rope Rough Ryder hits Dawson but Ryder and Wilder crash out to the floor. Wilder saves Dawson at two and tornado DDTs Ryder on the floor. A brainbuster drops Hawkins outside as well and they’re all down for a bit. Back in and Hawkins is dead but manages a small package for the pin and the titles at 13:20. Hawkins slowly realizing that not only is the match over but that they won is kind of awesome.

Rating: D+. This went on too long but the ending was fine after setting everything up for so long with the losing streak. Hawkins and Ryder are a likable team so it’s not like them winning the titles is a bad idea. Besides, WWE has already taken away anything that the Revival could offer (and yet it would still get worse) so the loss doesn’t do a ton of damage to them anyway.

Kickoff Show: Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Otis, Karl Anderson, Andrade, Gran Metalik, Chad Gable, Heath Slater, Bo Dallas, Colin Jost Jeff Hardy, No Way Jose, Lince Dorado, Bobby Roode, Konnor, Tyler Breeze, Viktor, Luke Harper, Ali, Apollo Crews, Michael Che, Titus O’Neil, Tucker, Braun Strowman, Shelton Benjamin, Jinder Mahal, Matt Hardy, Curtis Axel, Rhyno, Luke Gallows, EC3, Kalisto

So the big deal here is Jost and Che are from Saturday Night Live and Strowman doesn’t like them. The two of them bail to the floor and hide under the ring as Axel is out in about ten seconds. Dorado takes a SCARY bump to the floor with Breeze, EC3 and Benjamin following him out. There goes Dallas as well but it’s time for a staredown with Strowman and Harper.

That’s broken up in a hurry and Titus gets rid of Slater. As expected, Titus is out a few seconds later off a missed charge and Ali gets rid of Jose. Ascension sends Strowman shoulder first into the post for a crash to the floor (through the ropes so no elimination). Anderson isn’t so lucky as he gets tossed and the Hardys do the same to Rhyno. Roode and Metalik are out next as the ring is starting to empty a bit.

Andrade tosses Kalisto onto Metalik but Gable rolls Andrade with German suplexes. Since it’s Gable though, Andrade throws him out in a hurry, leaving Otis to hit a double Caterpillar on the Ascension. They’re both out as well but Strowman is back in to get rid of Gallows, Tucker and Otis in a row. There goes Mahal as Harper tries to suplex Ali over the top. With Ali hanging upside down, Strowman kicks Harper out, nearly dropping Ali on his head in a very near miss.

We’re down to Strowman, Andrade, Matt, Jeff and Crews in the ring with Che and Jost still underneath the ring. Andrade and Crews go to the apron and Andrade tries a hurricanrana for no intelligent reason in a double elimination. Strowman puts the Hardys on the apron in the battle of North Carolina as Che and Jost get back inside. They can’t get rid of Strowman, who dumps the Hardys and is ready for the destruction.

Jost grabs a mic though and says this doesn’t need to end in violence. He presents his personal therapist, whose breathing exercises earn him a chokeslam. Che tries to eliminate himself but Strowman punches himself out instead. Strowman misses a charge and almost gets eliminated but powers through it and tosses Jost for the win at 10:27.

Rating: D+. Yeah it’s stupid and the SNL guys added nothing to the whole thing but Strowman won in the end and there were some nice spots (granted they went with some scary ones) throughout. It isn’t anything better or worse than your usual “get them all in there” battle royal and it could have been worse. That’s high praise for something like this anymore.

And with that Smackdown length Kickoff Show out of the way, we can get on with the real show. Isn’t modern WWE great?

Yolanda Adams sings America the Beautiful and we get the big helicopter flyover.

The opening video, complete with a WWE Presents, features the wrestlers talking about how Shakespeare said all the world’s a stage. Tonight, this is their stage and they are the players. We get the classic moments of course because this show is built around history. They do a good job of starting this slowly and then building it up into a big feeling. As usual, WWE’s promo videos are nothing short of incredible and somehow they manage to get better a lot of the time. That being said, wrestlers calling themselves storytellers doesn’t sound right.

Maybe it’s how many times I’ve heard the song on highlight packages since then, but that Love Runs Out theme song is really catchy.

Here’s Alexa Bliss, the host for the evening, to open things up. Bliss talks about how this show needs a goddess and if she snaps her fingers, she can make a Wrestlemania moment. A snap of her fingers produces Hulk Hogan, who is happy to be back here in the Silverdome. That gets a chuckle so then he calls it the MetLife Center in a joke that doesn’t go over as well. Hogan and Bliss pose together in a cute moment.

Hold on though as Paul Heyman storms out and says we’re doing the Universal Title match RIGHT NOW. The faster Lesnar wins, the faster he can go to Las Vegas where he is ULTIMATELY appreciated.

Raw World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Seth Rollins

Rollins is defending after winning the Royal Rumble and gets a big BEAST SLAYER intro. At least BURN IT DOWN gets a big reaction so they’re doing something right. Lesnar jumps him before the bell and knees Rollins off the apron. An F5 plants Rollins on the floor and a hard whip into the barricade makes it even worse. Rollins gets tossed over the announcers’ table as the beating is on in a big way. That’s not enough for Lesnar so he throws Rollins over another table before throwing Rollins inside.

Heyman and Lesnar talk the angry trash but it’s back to the floor before the opening bell. Cole: “Seth Rollins never had a chance!” And there’s your usual WWE line that gives away the ending. Brock throws Rollins over the announcers’ table for a third time and then through the cover of the announcers’ table. They go back in for the opening bell and there’s the first German suplex. Lesnar: “SUPLEX CITY B******!” Give him his t-shirt money.

The second suplex sends him flying again as Cole brings up the Wrestlemania XXXI cash-in. The F5 is countered though and Rollins gets in a low blow. That means a low superkick and three straight Stomps make Rollins champion at 2:30. It was an exciting start and the whole thing from Lesnar’s first attack ran about 7:00. They had to get the title onto Rollins here (though more importantly off of Lesnar) and this was certainly a memorable way to do it. Certainly more so than when they did it again in a longer form four and a half months later.

AJ Styles vs. Randy Orton

This is your “here are two big names without much else to do” match. Orton eliminated him from the Elimination Chamber and they got in an argument about who built Smackdown. Orton’s big CGI snakes really don’t look great but those things are hit and miss for everyone. AJ headlocks him to start and is promptly driven into the corner. A very early threat of an RKO sends AJ bailing to the corner and it’s another standoff.

Orton pokes him in the eye and hits a dropkick to take over, including a boot across the eye to make it even worse. AJ gets in his own dropkick though as they’re pretty even in the early minutes. With Orton taking a breather on the floor, AJ scores with the slingshot forearm, only to get knocked off the apron and hard into the barricade. Back in and the chinlock goes on as the fans start chanting something I can’t understand.

That’s broken up so AJ hits the sliding forearm, setting up the fireman’s carry backbreaker for two. An early Styles Clash attempt is countered into a powerslam to give Orton his own near fall as the slow pace continues. The Calf Crusher attempt is countered without much trouble but the second attempt is slapped on in the middle of the ring. Not that the fans are exactly interested but AJ did get it on. That’s broken up in a hurry so AJ heads to the apron for the Phenomenal Forearm.

Orton jumps up to RKO him out of the air (as he had done last week) but AJ holds back, leaving Orton to crash. The springboard 450 gets two but Orton is right back with the backbreaker. Orton’s rather good looking top rope superplex has AJ crashing down for two and an uppercut gets a crazy loud pop (that had to be for something else). The hanging DDT gets no reaction but Orton walking around does, as I’m almost scared to imagine what had the fans’ attention.

AJ hits an enziguri to block the RKO, only to walk into it on the second attempt. That’s only good for two as well and Orton is shocked. With nothing else working, Orton loads up a super RKO, which is escaped without a lot of effort. A Pele sends Orton to the floor and the Phenomenal Forearm knock him even sillier. Back in and Orton still can’t hit the RKO, meaning it’s another Phenomenal Forearm to give AJ the pin at 16:12.

Rating: C-. Things got a bit better by the end but it never got going at any intense level. These two are capable of a lot but it was rather slow paced for the most part and when the match is going that long, it can get pretty tiresome in a hurry. It’s not bad in any sense but it wasn’t exciting and you know these two could do a lot better. That makes it more frustrating than anything else, as I kept waiting for them to get going and they never really did.

Here’s Lacey Evans to continue doing her thing of walking around, smiling, and then walking back.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Rusev/Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Bar vs. Ricochet/Aleister Black

The Usos are defending and it’s one fall to a finish. There is something so awesome about seeing the look on Ricochet’s face as he walks onto the stage. You can see what it means to him and there is no faking that kind of a feeling. This also marks Ricochet and Black’s third shot at different titles this week, after Raw and NXT title shots earlier in the week. Jimmy and Black start things off with a feeling out process until Sheamus tags himself in to face Black.

The armbar doesn’t last long as Rusev tags Sheamus and runs Black over. Nakamura comes in for a kick to the back but the rapid fire tags continue, with Jimmy coming in to Samoa drop Black. Nakamura kicks Jimmy into a tag to Ricochet, who does a very spinny headscissors on Cesaro. Since it’s just a headscissors though, Cesaro uppercuts Ricochet down and starts swinging him, as Sheamus forearms everyone else.

After a nearly 40 second swing (geez), the Sharpshooter goes on in the middle of the ring. Black makes the save and strikes away, setting up a springboard moonsault for two on Rusev. Nakamura is back in with some running knees to Black, meaning Ricochet has to make a save of his own. That earns him a swinging Rock Bottom from Rusev and it’s time for the nine man Tower of Doom. Just to show off, Ricochet flips out and lands safely in the corner, setting up the 630 for two on Sheamus. We hit the parade of kicks to the face with the Usos superkicking Sheamus down. The Double Us retains the titles at 10:05.

Rating: B. This was almost all action from bell to bell and that’s all you can do with a match like this one. Let them do whatever they want and get in spot after spot for a little while. They didn’t overstay their welcome either, as this match got in the right amount of time. Good stuff here and one of the more entertaining things all night so far.

Hall of Fame recap. Thankfully Bret being attacked isn’t mentioned whatsoever.

Here’s the class being presented in the stadium:

Honky Tonk Man (How was he not in yet?)

Harlem Heat (Perfectly fine.)

Torrie Wilson (The new low benchmark.)

Brutus Beefcake (Again, how was he not in yet?)

Hart Foundation (Should have been earlier so Neidhart could be there but long overdue as well.)

Sue Aitchison (Warrior Award.)

D-Generation X (I’m sure they had to twist their arms to get here. Deserved of course.)

We recap Miz vs. Shane McMahon. Somehow Shane won the World Cup despite not being in the tournament and Miz, the man he replaced in the finals, was jealous. Miz’s dad thought they should team together so they won the Tag Team Titles. The reign didn’t last long though and they split up, with Shane turning on Miz. Tonight, it’s Falls Count Anywhere. This was in the middle of Shane’s RIDICULOUS run near the top of Smackdown where he was all over the show and beating main eventers, including that Tag Team Title win. Of course he gets a big Wrestlemania match, because that’s what makes sense for such a star.

Shane McMahon vs. The Miz

Falls Count Anywhere, but hang on as Shane needs to hear his introduction three times in a row. With that out of the way, Shane bails to the floor at the bell so the chase is on, with Shane hitting his horrible punches. In a smart move, Shane grabs Miz’s dad (in the front row) and again, the chase goes badly for Miz as Shane hammers away. They head outside again with Shane loading up the announcers’ table.

A monitor shot to the head puts Miz on the table but Miz’s dad blocks the big elbow. Shane gets down so Miz’s dad gets inside for the showdown, with Miz’s dad doing the pose that launched a subplot on the upcoming season of Miz and Mrs. Shane takes him into the corner and stomps away, drawing Miz back in for the beating. They fight to to the floor with Shane falling over the barricade but hold on as Miz wants someone to check on his dad.

With the medics doing their job, Miz dives over the barricade to take Shane down again. They fight over towards one of the big pillars that holds up the canopy over the ring but Shane fights out of the Skull Crushing Finale. Instead Shane grabs a DDT for two but Miz kicks him down off the stage. Shane is sent knee first into a barricade and Miz beats on him with a chair to blow off some more steam.

They wreck announcers’ row with Miz throwing him over every chair he can find, plus throwing some chairs around. Shane gets sent through a table for two, followed by a monitor shot to knock him over a barricade and onto the top of a well placed golf cart. That gives Miz a delayed two so he punches Shane up towards a production tower. A Skull Crushing Finale onto the platform gets two, because he’s Shane and Miz is just a former World Champion.

Shane fights back (of course) and climbs up to the top of the tower. Miz pursues so Shane begs off, even dropping to one knee. That earns him some left hands to the head and Miz superplexes him all the way down (after asking if Shane is ready) onto a crash pad. Worry not though as Shane lands on top for the pin at 15:25.

Rating: D-. I knew the ending was coming here and I still shake my head at the ending. Shane is the boss’ son but my goodness how hard can you push him? The worst part is that it is only going to get worse as the summer goes on, but this was a punch to the gut as Shane wins AGAIN, meaning he isn’t going away anytime soon. The superplex was a nice idea but showing the landing on the pad (which just happened to be there) took away all of the impact that it had. That is, whatever was left before Shane won of course.

Paige joins commentary.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: IIconics vs. Beth Phoenix/Natalya vs. Nia Jax/Tamina vs. Sasha Banks/Bayley

Banks and Bayley are defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Bret Hart is here with Beth and Natalya (who really feel like fill ins for Trish Stratus/Lita), though he doesn’t go beyond the stage. Tamina shoves Bayley down to start and superkicks Natalya for a bonus. Everything breaks down in a hurry with Nia being sent outside for a ram into the steps. Back in and Peyton rolls Sasha up for two and it’s a double kick to put drop Sasha again.

The Hardys’ Spin Cycle gets two on Banks but she’s right back with a backslide for the same. It’s back to Bayley for a sliding clothesline for two on Beth but Billie tags herself in. The IIconics take over on Beth, who is right back with a suplex to both of them at once. Natalya comes in for two but Bayley makes a fast save. The champs get in a fight with Beth and Natalya and it’s a Bank Statement to Phoenix. That’s broken up but the Glam Slam is countered into a rollup into the corner.

Natalya drops Sasha onto Bayley and they get the always fairly dumb looking double Sharpshooter treatment. This time it’s Tamina making the save and Nia comes back in to wreck everyone else. The IIconics get crushed with stereo Samoan drops but Beth shoves Nia off the top to break up a splash. Sasha takes Beth down as well and Bayley drops the top rope elbow, followed by Banks’ frog splash. The Tower of Doom is broken up so Beth hits a super Glam Slam on Bayley, with Kay making a blind tag. With Beth sent outside, Kay steals the pin and the titles at 10:47.

Rating: D. This went on too long and wasn’t all that interesting in the first place. The titles were brand new at this point and they already seemed pretty worthless, which would be proven over the next year. The fallout here is more interesting than the match itself, as you Nia would go away for about a year with double ACL surgery and Sasha (allegedly) threw a fit over losing and took the summer off.

The pilots from the Kickoff Show flyover are in the crowd. That’s always cool.

We recap Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan for the Smackdown World Title. Kofi replaced the injured Ali in the Elimination Chamber and got down to the final two. That set up one of the most dramatic things that WWE has ever done, as Kofi got inches away from winning the title and the fans ate it up. It was clear that Kofi had to get the title at Wrestlemania or he never would, which sent Kofi and New Day into a crusade to finally get the title shot that had eluded him for eleven years.

After jumping through all kinds of hoops set by Vince McMahon, it took New Day winning a gauntlet match to get the shot, with their longtime rivals the Usos stepping aside in a great show of respect for Kofi. At the same time, Bryan said that Kofi was a B+ player in an awesome role reversal from his legendary run five years earlier.

The match was finally set and it was a heck of a story, as Kofi had put in so many years of building credibility to get here and was finally cashing in. This wasn’t JBL jumping up to the main event scene, as Kofi had pretty much won every title other than the World Title. That’s not a big jump, but it was hard to believe that they would actually pull the trigger here. In other words, this was EXCELLENT and would have headlined any other year.

Smackdown World Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan

Kofi is challenging and has New Day in his corner, while Bryan has Rowan. Big E. has a gift for Kofi and promises it for after the match. I had forgotten how nice of a touch Bryan’s eco-friendly belt really was. They stare each other down to start and the fans are behind Kofi, which is almost hard to fathom until you realize that Bryan might be a better heel than face. Kofi’s headlock doesn’t get anywhere so they fight over a backslide. Bryan monkey flips him so Kofi lands on his feet, setting up a dropkick to the floor.

The big dive takes Bryan down again and the roster is behind Kofi in the back. Things slow down a bit as Bryan needs a breather with Rowan. Back in and Bryan uppercuts him a few times to set up the surfboard, which always looks awesome. That’s broken up in a hurry as usual, allowing Kofi to kick away in the corner. Bryan’s moonsault into the running clothesline is countered into something resembling the standing double stomp (almost a Thesz press as Kofi can’t hit it properly) for two.

Kofi’s jumping clothesline works a bit better and the Boom Drop connects. Bryan heads outside again so Kofi tries a springboard dive, which lands ribs first on the announcers’ table. You don’t have to ask Bryan twice to go after the ribs like that so he drops Kofi ribs first across the top rope. The ribs get sent into the corner and it’s off to a waistlock, which works a lot better this time around. Kofi fights up and elbows in the corner but a very quick Trouble in Paradise is countered into a Boston crab.

Bryan’s belly to back superplex is broken up with elbows to the face and Kofi hits a top rope splash to the back for two. They slug it out but Trouble in Paradise is countered again, only to countered into a small package to give Kofi two more. Kofi’s crossbody is rolled through though and Bryan pulls him into a failed LeBell Lock attempt so they’re both down for a second. The running knee is countered into the SOS but Bryan reverses into the LeBell Lock, with Bryan letting go for some more elbows to the ribs.

Kofi finally gets his foot on the rope and you can hear the sigh of relief. Bryan YES Kicks at the ribs even more but Kofi fires up and tells Bryan to kick him even harder. As Bryan backs away, Kofi throws his own kicks and busts out a reverse suplex for two. They head outside again so Rowan can go after New Day, earning himself Trouble in Paradise. The Midnight Hour on the floor takes care of Rowan and Kofi blocks Bryan’s suicide dive.

Back in and Bryan hits the running knee…..for two and a big pop on the kickout. Bryan has had it and unloads with stomps to the head to set up the LeBell Lock. Kofi breaks out again and blasts Bryan with forearms to the face with more aggression than you usually see from him. Bryan won’t let go of the wrist so Kofi stomps him right back, knocking Bryan silly. Trouble in Paradise gives Kofi the clean pin and the title at 23:45.

Rating: A. That is the definition of the Wrestlemania moment and it holds up to perfection a year later. The fans completely bought into the idea of Kofi fighting through everything and winning the title in the end and that’s all it should have been. Kofi is the kind of guy who has been around forever and built up so much good will that when he finally went after the title, everyone was on his side. That made for a special moment and it was amazing throughout as it’s something that I never thought I would see, but here it is. That’s a great thing to see as rare as it can be.

On top of that, this was an awesome match with both guys giving it everything they had. The story here was perfect with Kofi not being the wrestler Bryan was but knowing that this was his one shot and giving everything he had to achieve his dream when he could. The fans believed in him and there was no way he could lose in this spot. Outstanding stuff and if not for the historic main event, this would have headlined in a landslide. Watch this again and smile a lot.

Post match Woods and Big E. pull out the classic WWE Championship and hand it to Kofi for the first time (Kofi kneeling in the ring and waiting to have it presented to him is a great visual). The pyro goes off and Kofi’s sons get in the ring to celebrate with him and one of them holds up the title, which is almost bigger than he is. We’re not done yet though as Big E. brings in the present from earlier. It’s the first New Day shirt featuring Kofi as champion and his kids get to hold them up for a perfect visual. Woods: “THEY SAID WE COULDN’T MAKE IT! WE MADE IT TO THE TOP!” Outstanding.

Che and Jost are banged up so Bliss introduces them to Dr. Scott Hall and Dr. Kevin Nash. Ok then.

Booker T. is the next guest commentator.

US Title: Samoa Joe vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is challenging and this year’s comic gear is…..well Mysterio appropriately enough. Now how did he never do that one before? Joe kicks him in the face but Rey is right back with the springboard hurricanrana. The 619 connects but Joe pulls him out of the air into the Koquina Clutch and Rey is out at 1:00, which may have something to do with Rey injuring his ankle on Monday. Booker being annoyed at wasting all the time on prep work is good for a chuckle.

Sneak peak of Batista’s new movie Stuber.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Drew McIntyre. Reigns returned from leukemia after a four month absence and he needs a first victim. Drew has run through the rest of the Shield as a bonus. This is your likely layup result of the show and that’s fine.

Roman Reigns vs. Drew McIntyre

Drew gets played to the ring by the New York Bagpipe Band. They trade shots to the face to start so Reigns snaps off a Samoan drop for an early two. McIntyre is right back with a spinebuster into a jackknife cover for two of his own. The Glasgow Kiss knocks Reigns down again and McIntyre throws him into the corner for two. The chinlock/armbar goes on until Reigns powers out and knocks him to the floor. Reigns’ running kick to the face is blocked though and McIntyre suplexes him down.

Back in and the reverse Alabama slam gives McIntyre two so he takes Reigns up top. That earns him a crotching, only to have Drew pull himself up from the Tree of Woe to send Reigns flying with a belly to belly superplex. Reasons of general heelishness cause McIntyre to slap him in the face, meaning the comeback is on. McIntyre gets knocked outside again for the Samoan drop on the floor, followed by the Superman Punch back inside. The spear finishes McIntyre at 10:06.

Rating: D. The fans didn’t care and why should they have? As usual, it was clear that Reigns was going to win and that happens far too often at Wrestlemania. It’s amazing that Reigns got to come back here but it’s Reigns, who almost always wins, winning again in a match where the ending was obvious throughout. Nothing to see here, and the fans were silent throughout.

Post match Reigns gets to pose in a rather emotional moment.

Here’s Elias for his self described greatest performance ever. He’s on screen playing drums, with a second Elias joining him on piano and the real thing in the ring playing guitar. They jam for a bit and guitar Elias says the other two deserve a standing ovation. Elias teases more members of the band and gets in his catchphrase before loading up the song….but here’s a SPECIAL BULLETIN on Babe Ruth calling his shot in the 1932 World Series.

Cue John Cena in Dr. of Thuganomics gear and the fans seem rather pleased. Cena raps about how he’s about to turn heel and how bad his own movies are. WWE doesn’t stand for Walk With Elias because it really means Wasted Wrestling Experiment. We get a nuts joke, followed by the FU to leave Elias laying. They have history together so this was as good as you were going to get. This was funny for a change if nothing else and that’s a cool Wrestlemania feeling.

We recap Batista vs. HHH. Back at Smackdown 1000, Batista had mentioned that HHH never beat him but laughed it off. Then in February, Ric Flair was having a 70^th birthday celebration but Batista attacked him, while asking HHH if he had his attention. This set up the match, with Batista demanding that HHH give him what he wanted (over and over and over). HHH has put up his career just in case the ending was in the slightest bit of doubt.

Shawn Michaels is guest commentator.

Batista vs. HHH

No holds barred with HHH’s career on the line. Batista goes out to glare at Shawn but here’s HHH, riding in a Mad Max style cart because of course he is. Batista drives him straight into the corner to start so HHH is back with some right hands to the face. A backdrop sends Batista outside but he throws HHH over the announcers’ table in a crash. HHH is right back up with a ram into the barricade and busts out a chain to whip Batista over the back.

The chain is pulled into Batista’s mouth (Shawn: “That’s not going to help his movie career.”) and HHH whips him into the steps. To ramp up the pain, HHH busts out some pliers to bend Batista’s fingers around a bit. HHH isn’t done with the toolbox so he grabs some needle nose pliers and ribs Batista’s nose ring out. To be fair, that thing looked horrible. Cole: “HHH just ripped a nose ring out of the nose of Batista.” So the nose ring in his ear is still intact.

Batista’s nose is good enough to drop HHH onto the announcers’ table and then he does it again onto a different one. A chair to the back sets up the shoulders in the corner for two as things have slowed way down. Batista slams him down for two more and let’s go outside again. The steps are set on the table and another table is cleared off as this is taking quite a long time for one big spot.

The huge Batista Bomb through the table is countered with a backdrop onto (not through) the other table and they’re both down again. HHH gets up, spinebusters him through the table, and we get another breather. HHH pulls out the sledgehammer but it’s a spear to cut him down for two. This time it’s HHH knocking the sledgehammer away from Batista, earning himself a spinebuster in the process. The Batista Bomb, which makes HHH drop the sledgehammer again, connects for two.

With nothing else working, Batista brings in the steps but goes up top for some reason. That reason would be so HHH can powerbomb him onto the steps, setting up a Pedigree for two (Because this MUST KEEP GOING!). They’re both down again so here’s Flair to slip HHH the sledgehammer. HHH gets up and uses the steps as a launchpad to hammer Batista in the head. Since that’s not enough to pin him (or KILL HIM as it probably should have), Batista pops up to take the Pedigree for the pin at 25:45.

Rating: D. Why does HHH do this? They could have had the same match with at least ten minutes chopped off but for some reason we needed to get HHH’s latest big epic match, no matter how much people aren’t interested in seeing it. This was terrible with Batista looking like a shell of his glory days (fair enough) and the match going WAY longer than it should have. Horrible match, and did you expect anything else given this style of match’s history?

The B Team model Daniel Bryan WWE Champion shirts but here’s Ron Simmons for the joke.

JBL is your next guest commentator.

Baron Corbin vs. Kurt Angle

This is Angle’s retirement match as he can barely get in the ring without injuring himself these days and needs to limp away for good. Corbin is here because we all did something horrible in a past life. Angle goes after him to start but gets knocked into the corner to put him in early trouble. Corbin takes it to the corner and pounds away before mocking Angle’s family a bit. A missed middle rope ax handle sends Corbin throat first into the rope so Angle snaps off some suplexes for two.

Angle walks into a big boot but is fine enough to grab a quickly broken ankle lock. Deep Six gives Corbin two more but he misses a charge, allowing the Angle Slam to connect for two. The straps come down and the ankle lock goes on until Corbin rolls him into the corner for the break. Corbin throws in a You Can’t See Me so Angle punches him into more rolling German suplexes. The moonsault misses though and the End of Days finishes Kurt’s career at 5:59.

Rating: D. Angle does seem fine with putting Corbin over on the way out but this was another step in the seemingly eternal nonsense that was/is the Corbin push. It’s a lot to take and while I can live with Angle going out on his back, it’s a lot to take because Corbin really is going way above his pay grade every time he’s in a match like this.

Post match Angle thanks the fans and asks for one more YOU SUCK chant for the road.

Intercontinental Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Finn Balor

Lashley, with Lio Rush, is defending and they’ve traded the title, so tonight it’s the Demon to make the match feel big. Balor gets a special entrance by coming down off a raised platform, though it’s not as creepy as his NXT entrances. Lashley has very bright green contacts in for some reason. Some early dropkicks put Lashley on the floor and Balor takes him out with a dive for a bonus.

A hard drive into the apron cuts Balor off though and there’s a suplex to make it worse. Lashley clotheslines him hard to the floor but a Sling Blade gets Balor out of trouble. Rush’s distraction lets Lashley hit a HARD spear through the ropes though and a regular one gets two back inside. Balor fights out of a powerbomb and hits one of his own, setting up the Coup de Grace for the pin and the title at 4:01.

Rating: C. The match was entertaining enough for something that was going so fast but at the same time, the booking still doesn’t make a ton of sense. Balor has already shown that he can beat Lashley so now he needs to bring up the powers to win? And the extraordinary thing was just a powerbomb? I’m glad to see the Demon again but this wasn’t exactly the most logical thing in the world.

Here’s Alexa Bliss to announce the attendance record of 82,265. Cue R-Truth and Carmella for the Wrestlemania Dance Break (Remember those?).

We recap the main event of Raw Women’s Champion Ronda Rousey and Smackdown Women’s Champion Charlotte defending against Becky Lynch in a winner take all match. Rousey is the unstoppable force, Charlotte is Charlotte and Becky is here because she’s the hottest name in wrestling at the moment and won the Royal Rumble. Tonight the winner leaves with both titles and it’s the biggest women’s match in history.

Raw Women’s Title/Smackdown Women’s Title: Ronda Rousey vs. Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch

Lynch is challenging both. In a nod to her father and the Four Horsemen, Charlotte lance in a helicopter outside and walks into the stadium. Already inside, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts play Rousey to the ring. There is something so cool about watching Becky walk down the ramp in a wide shot as Cole talks about how she has started a movement. I’m not sure if that is the right term but it looked awesome. The bell rings and even a year later I still can’t believe this happened. The women’s division was a joke just a few years ago and now it’s the biggest match of the year. That’s hard to believe and it’s very cool.

They stare at each other for a good bit to start until Becky goes after Rousey’s arm. Rousey kicks her to the floor without much trouble and that means a Samoan drop into the barricade. Charlotte follows and takes Piper’s Pit but pops right back up for a fall away slam to send Rousey into the barricade for a change. That sets up the required Charlotte vs. Becky fight with Becky getting the better of things but can’t get the Figure Four, allowing Rousey to come and hammer away.

Charlotte breaks up an armbar attempt but gets pulled into a triangle choke over the ropes. Becky hits a running dropkick though and Rousey falls HARD onto the floor in a nasty crash. That leaves Charlotte to knee Becky in the head as the fans get behind Becky in a big way. Charlotte’s moonsault hits knees and Becky gets the Disarm-Her but Rousey make the save in a hurry. A double Natural Selection gives Charlotte two each and it’s Becky going outside this time.

For some reason Charlotte tries to slug it out with Rousey, earning herself a knee to the head. Charlotte pulls her into a Boston crab, drawing Becky in for her own save. Becky and Charlotte slug it out again until Charlotte is sent to the apron. Charlotte gets caught up top with a super Bexploder for two but Rousey drops both of them with a high crossbody for a double near fall. The double armbar goes on so Becky and Charlotte powerbomb her for the break. It took three attempts but they finally got out.

Everyone is down for a bit until Becky hits a Rock Bottom for two on Charlotte. Rousey goes after Becky and gets pulled straight into the Disarm-Her so she uses the ropes to power up in the corner. That’s fine with Becky, who puts it on again in the corner until Charlotte boots her in the face. Charlotte’s super Spanish Fly gets two but she might have banged up her knee. Rousey’s knee is banged up as well so Charlotte stomps away and grabs the Figure Four around the post.

After sending Becky into the barricade, Charlotte grabs the Figure Eight but Becky dives in off the top for another save. Just because, let’s bring in a table but Charlotte decks Becky for taking too long to set it up. Rousey shoves Charlotte off the top and turns the table over because she doesn’t need it. A double spear takes down Becky and Rousey so Charlotte sets up the table in the corner.

Charlotte sends Rousey face first into the table and spears Becky for two more. Back up and Charlotte gets hiptossed through the table, leaving Becky and Rousey to have the slugout we’ve been waiting for. They throw some serious hands but Piper’s Pit is countered into a crucifix (with Rousey’s shoulder a good six inches off the mat in a bad botch) to give Becky both titles at 21:28.

Rating: B. I don’t know if it’s because I didn’t watch it in one sitting this time around but I liked the match a good bit better on a second viewing. These three beat each other up and while Becky winning was the presumed finish, it wasn’t entirely a lock given who she was in there against. It was a heck of a fight and the three of them all came out looking great. This is much more historic than good, but it’s really rather good and that’s always a positive way to go out.

Rousey is ticked as Becky celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The positives are better than the negatives but not by much. There are some flat out bad matches on here but they are overcome by some great feelings with the faces winning all of the big matches for a change. That felt like an old school style as for the first time in what felt like forever, they didn’t cut the fans off for the sake of dragging things out until later. For once it felt like a season finale and that’s what Wrestlemania should be when it gets the chance. Good show, but it could have been a lot better.

How you ask? CUT THE SHOW DOWN! Look at how long this show is and tell me that it’s well put together. There is no need for a sixteen match card, especially with some of the matches that feel tacked on. All three Tag Team Title matches feel like they’re here for the sake of being here and some of the matches just need to be shortened. Either that or find a way to get people to the ring faster. I know it seems simple but how much of these shows are spent on ring entrances alone? Just find a way to shorten things, please.

Overall there are more good things than bad, but this isn’t a show that you need to watch in one sitting. As soon as you get to the point where the show is five hours plus an episode of Smackdown before it starts (and a Smackdown with more wrestling than usual at that), you’re hitting a firm ceiling of how much you can enjoy this. I know you can’t cut out big chunks, but find a way to get this under six hours. Do that and it’s a lot better, but that has been the case for years now and it keeps getting longer. Either way, at least we had enough nice stuff on here, but don’t watch it all at once.

Ratings Comparison

Tony Nese vs. Buddy Murphy

Original: C+

Redo: C

Women’s Battle Royal

Original: D

Redo: D

Revival vs. Zack Ryder/Curt Hawkins

Original: C

Redo: D+

Men’s Battle Royal

Original: D

Redo: D+

Brock Lesnar vs. Seth Rollins

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

AJ Styles vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

Redo: C-

Usos vs. Shinsuke Nakamura/Rusev vs. The Bar vs. Aleister Black/Ricochet

Original: C+

Redo: B

Shane McMahon vs. The Miz

Original: C-

Redo: D-

Boss N Hug Connection vs. Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. IIconics vs. Nia Jax/Tamina

Original: D

Redo: D

Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: A-

Redo: A

Samoa Joe vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Drew McIntyre vs. Roman Reigns

Original: C-

Redo: D

Batista vs. HHH

Original: D+

Redo: D

Baron Corbin vs. Kurt Angle

Original: F

Redo: D

Finn Balor vs. Bobby Lashley

Original: C

Redo: C

Ronda Rousey vs. Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte

Original: B

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: C+

About the same all around, but some of those earlier ones are a good bit off. Still though, too long, despite some of the very good parts.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/04/08/wrestlemania-xxxv-so-much-for-no-happy-endings/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XXI
Date: April 3, 2005
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 20,193
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz
America The Beautiful: Lilian Garcia

Then it was time to change things. In this case, that’s going to be at the hands of Batista and John Cena, who are challenging for the World Titles. There isn’t exactly much of a secret that they’re getting the belts, but that has made for some great Wrestlemania moments before. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Tajiri, William Regal, Rhino, Hurricane, Rosey, Maven, Simon Dean, Gene Snitsky, Chris Masters, Val Venis, Tyson Tomko, Sylvain Grenier, Rob Conway, Viscera, Hardcore Holly, Charlie Haas, Nunzio, Billy Kidman, Mark Jindrak, Funaki, Akio, Orlando Jordan, Doug Basham, Danny Basham, Heidenreich, Luther Reigns, Booker T.. Paul London, Spike Dudley, Scotty 2 Hotty

Eh nothing wrong with getting everyone a DVD bonus credit. The Raw and Smackdown sides square off and Hurricane gives Heidenreich a mask…so Heidenreich punches him in the face as we officially start. Spike goes to the apron as there are so many people in the ring that they can’t move very much. Hurricane is out first (the fans disapprove) as Tazz talks about this being a team effort between Raw and Smackdown. I’m still not sure how but WWE would push that idea forever.

Reigns is gone too and Viscera gets knocked down, which doesn’t seem to be a great idea. Some people hold Viscera down so Scotty can hit the Worm, only for Masters to toss Scotty, Funaki and Spike in a row. Haas is out as well as the ring is at least clearing out a bit. Nunzio is on the floor but doesn’t seem to be out as things slow back down. Heidenreich (still in the mask) stops to eat a turnbuckle before clotheslining Venis out.

Dean is gone as well and Grenier follows him. There goes Rosey as Rhyno Gores Heidenreich from behind (OUCH). Rhyno is tossed out as well and Conway gets eliminated right after him to thin things out even more. The Raw and Smackdown guys square off, with Holly giving Regal an Alabama slam. Akio and Holly are tossed out and there goes Regal (who commentary doesn’t recognize). Tajiri mists Heidenreich, who can see well enough to kick London out.

Heidenreich is sent to the apron where he knocks out Tajiri before being kicked out by Snitsky. Jindrak gets rid of Snitsky as we’re down to Jindrak, Booker, Masters and Viscera. Masters dumps Jindrak and commentary tries to explain that Booker is down 2-1 because battle royals are suddenly team matches. Nunzio, who was never eliminated, comes back in and is tossed just as fast. Booker misses the side kick and gets caught in the ropes but manages to low bridge Viscera out. That leaves Booker with Masters and a superkick gives Booker the win at 11:19.

Rating: C. As usual, there’s only so much you can get out of this kind of a battle royal. It’s designed to get wrestlers on the card and it did that well enough. Booker winning is a fine way to get the crowd going and they weren’t out there very long. I could go for less of the Raw vs. Smackdown nonsense but that’s been a thing for years in WWE, even if it never really clicked.

Lilian Garcia sings America The Beautiful.

Since we’re in Los Angeles, we are officially going Hollywood and get a montage of the still incredible parody trailers, some of which are downright inspired.

We get the final trailer, featuring Steve Austin as Gladiator, which might be a stretch but getting Austin into something like this was a good move.

Commentary welcomes us to the show.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

They’re friends and partners (even champions) but it’s time for a friendly match. No superhero for Mysterio this time as instead it’s more of a Mexican flag theme. Mysterio starts fast with a suplex but gets armdragged into an early armbar. A big catapult sends Mysterio outside but Mysterio gets back inside to avoid a baseball slide and we have a standoff.

Back in and they go to a test of strength with Mysterio’s monkey flip not getting him anywhere. Guerrero goes to a keylock to stay on the arm but Mysterio manages to get in another monkey flip. Mysterio is sent crashing outside though and the arm is banged up, which has Guerrero in a better move (as he slips into the heel role, which fit him much better).

A hard belly to back suplex sets up a surfboard, followed by an STF. That’s a bit too complicated though so Guerrero switches back to the standard armbar. Mysterio is able to send him outside though and the big twisting dive drops Guerrero again. Back in and a backbreaker puts Mysterio right back down but he’s able to block the third Amigo. The 619 is blocked as well though and Mysterio snaps off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. More suplexes have Mysterio down but he avoids the frog splash.

They trade some rollups for two each but now Mysterio is up with the 619. After adjusting his mask (Mysterio was using a different kind of clasp here and it was driving him crazy throughout the match, with all kinds of noticeable adjustments), the West Coast Pop is countered into a powerbomb (and Mysterio adjusts the mask again). Mysterio is down but comes up with a quick hurricanrana for the pin out of nowhere at 12:23.

Rating: B-. They were in a bit of a weird spot here as they are still great friends and didn’t want to go full blast, but not going full blast at Wrestlemania doesn’t exactly fit. Guerrero was getting a bit frustrated in there and that’s a sign for the future, as these two were going to be doing this for the next few months. It’s still a good match, but it was a slow first step in a big story, which might not be the best fit for Wrestlemania.

Post match respect is shown and everything is ok.

JBL, with the Cabinet, runs into HHH, with Ric Flair. They compare greatness and JBL tells HHH to get ready to lose the title for the tenth time tonight. HHH says if JBL keeps telling people how good he is, someone will believe him eventually. They’ll see who is still champion at the end of the night. My goodness the idea of those two having a match makes my skin crawl.

Chris Jericho vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Edge vs. Chris Benoit vs. Kane vs. Christian

And here’s something important as it’s the inaugural Money In The Bank. Benjamin is the Intercontinental Champion and Kane gets the still awesome entrance of the Hollywood set and the ladders being set on fire (even Kane seems to think it’s cool). The brawl starts in the aisle with Kane getting the better of things and going after the ladder. That’s broken up and Benoit and Benjamin suplex Kane on the floor.

Christian goes for the ladder but Jericho knocks him into the ring, which is the official start. Benjamin is in to hammer on Jericho, who knocks him right back down. A triangle dropkick hits Edge and Benoit, followed by a dive to take out the former. Christian is back in with a dive onto his three fellow Canadians. Benjamin is of course right there with an even bigger dive, followed by Kane’s dive onto everyone but Christian. Kane throws in the ladder but Jericho takes it away and gets to wreck various people.

Benoit German suplexes Jericho, sending the ladder flying in the process. Kane tries to chokeslam Benoit off the ladder but gets pulled into the Crossface. Edge breaks it up for no logical reason and gets Crossfaced as well, with Kane breaking that up as well. That’s not enough for Kane, who puts Benoit’s arm inside a ladder and crushes it a few times, only for Edge to drop Kane with a spear. Edge and Christian get back together for a bit, only for Benjamin to send Edge into a ladder in the corner.

A Stinger Splash crushed Edge against the ladder and Benjamin goes up, only for Jericho to cut him off. Christian sets up another ladder so Benoit climbs at the same time, with Edge setting up a third ladder next to them. Everyone but Kane is up until Christian pulls Benoit down with a DDT on the arm. Jericho is knocked down, leaving Benjamin to Exploder Edge down for the huge crash. Christian bridges a ladder into the standing one, with Jericho climbing up.

That lets Benjamin run up the bridge to clothesline Jericho off, sending him crashing out to the floor. Kane is back up though and it’s time to start wrecking people. Benjamin gets chokeslammed…well mostly onto the ropes as he crashes out to the floor. Christian’s lackey Tyson Tomko comes in to boot Kane but gets knocked over the top. Christian gets a hand on the briefcase but Kane shoves the ladder over, sending Christian down onto Tomko for a crazy crash (and thankfully not breaking Tomko’s leg in the process).

Kane and Jericho go up and knock each other off onto the ropes for another big spill. Benoit, with his arm dangling, goes up and Swan Dives onto Kane, which doesn’t seem so bright but that’s kind of par for the course for him. The bloody Benoit goes up but has to headbutt Kane down, only to get chaired in the arm by Edge. That’s enough for Edge to get the briefcase and win at 15:19.

Rating: B+. I still really like this one as the match hadn’t been bogged down by a bunch of cliches and having far too many people. Edge looked ruthless with the chair shot on the end and him stealing the briefcase (despite not breaking any rules) fit in perfectly. There are more than enough high spots and carnage here to make it work and it’s a rather fun bit of chaos.

Here is Eugene for a surprise appearance. He’s happy to be at Wrestlemania and talks about loving King Kong Bundy beating up a midget and the midget army getting together to go after him. This is the greatest moment of his life but here are Muhammad Hassan and Daivari to interrupt. Hassan is livid, which Eugene thinks means he doesn’t like midgets. That sends Hassan into a rant about how he isn’t on the biggest show of the year and how prejudiced Hollywood has been over the years.

He’s never lost but he has to take a backseat to EUGENE? He will not stand for this and is going to create a Wrestlemania Moment. Hassan jumps the injured Eugene and the double beatdown is on. The camel clutch is locked in….and it’s HULK HOGAN walking that aisle to an absolute roar. Hogan cleans house of the villains, including shrugging off a chair from Daivari. The ring is cleared and Hogan poses as the fans eat this all up. Yeah it still works.

We recap the Undertaker vs. Randy Orton. Over the last few weeks, Orton has tried to show more of an edge and wants to kill the biggest legend of them all. Undertaker doesn’t take kindly to this and wants to hurt someone, which can’t go well for Orton.

Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

It’s Wrestlemania so we’ve got druids (one of which might be Kofi Kingston, who implied it was him but it might have been from a segment on Smackdown). Orton circles around to start and hits a quick dropkick, followed by a backdrop. Undertaker isn’t having that and knocks him to the floor, setting up the apron legdrop. Old School connects but Orton is back up with a dropkick to knock Undertaker off the apron and hard into the barricade. Back in and Orton tries to keep things slow but ducks his head, allowing Undertaker to hit the running DDT.

The corner clothesline hits Orton, who reverses Snake Eyes with an elbow to put Undertaker back down. The forearms to the chest just wake Undertaker up, which can never be a good thing. A clothesline puts Orton down (though he didn’t seem to be ready for it) for two and Undertaker grabs the dragon sleeper that he tried really hard to get over, to limited success. It’s only good for two arm drops here, as Orton reverses into a DDT for two. The chinlock (of course) goes on, which Orton switches into a sleeper, which Undertaker breaks up with a sleeper rather quickly.

Orton’s powerslam gets two and Orton is stunned at the kickout. Dude it was a powerslam. Calm down. The Last Ride out of the corner is blocked but the referee gets bumped. Another Last Ride is loaded up but here is Cowboy Bob Orton with a cast shot to the face, naturally for two.

The ticked off Undertaker comes up swinging, only to have to kick Bob down again. The chokeslam is loaded up…and countered into the RKO for a rather delayed two (if there was ever a point to end the Streak in this era, that was 100% it, with one of the best counters ever). Ever the moron, Randy tries a Tombstone and gets reversed into the real thing for the pin at 14:06 (that’s 13-0).

Rating: B. I’ve seen this match a bunch of times and I still feel bad when the RKO doesn’t finish it off. That was a perfect place to do it but dang they didn’t go that way. That being said, it’s still a heck of a match with Undertaker getting to show that he still has it. The Streak was a thing by this point and the idea of someone trying to take it out was becoming something huge, which would only get FAR bigger over the years.

We recap Trish Stratus defending the Women’s Title against Christy Hemme. This translates to “Lita is injured and Christy is in Playboy so it’s as good as we can do”.

Women’s Title: Christy Hemme vs. Trish Stratus

Hemme, with Lita (her coach), is challenging. Stratus even lays down for her to start before coming up with a shove. The one sided beating begins but Hemme blocks a Chick Kick. Lita offers a distraction and Hemme gets in a low blow (sure) so she can stomp away. Stratus is back up and they seem to get a bit confused so Stratus fires off some chops.

Hemme starts contorting and Lawler starts cheering, with Stratus hitting a spear to send her outside. Back in and a rollup gives Hemme two and she fires off some rather bad kicks. A reverse Twist Of Fate gets two and they fight over a rollup. Stratus has had it with this and kicks her in the head (area) to retain at 4:40.

Rating: D+. Well, they tried. The problem here is very simple: Hemme isn’t a wrestler and there isn’t much that can be done to get around that reality. Lita was only so much of a factor here, but again she could only do so much. There wasn’t much they could do here and the match wasn’t good, but you can only give them so much blame.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Kurt Angle. Michaels eliminated him from the Royal Rumble and Angle was ticked. He even brought up being tired of hearing about Michaels when he was the best amateur wrestler in the world back in 1996 and it’s time for him to prove his amazingness. On the other hand, it’s Michaels at Wrestlemania.

Shawn Michaels vs. Kurt Angle

They stare each other down to start and Michaels slaps him in the face, only to get wrestled to the ground without much effort. Michaels goes straight over to the ropes (in the same start, minus the slap, that Michaels would have with Shelton Benjamin about a month later) and we reset a bit. A headlock slows Angle down a bit and Michaels grinds away on that for a good while.

Angle finally gets up but gets hiptossed into a short armscissors as they’re definitely starting slowly. Back up and Angle drives him into the corner, where Michaels slugs away. That’s cut off again and the referee gets a bit too physical, allowing Angle to hit a forearm to the back. The ankle lock is broken up and Michaels clotheslines him out to the floor. It’s already time to load up the announcers’ table but Angle picks Michaels up for an Angle Slam into the post (the goal was for Michaels’ back to hit but it was more his hip, with the replay not helping).

Back in and Angle snaps off the suplex, followed by the reverse chinlock. With that broken up, Angle loads up the belly to belly superplex but Michaels knocks him off. The top rope elbow misses though and Angle takes the straps down, only to have the Angle Slam countered with an armdrag. Michaels backdrops him to the floor and goes up for a crossbody, only to seemingly slip and make the landing even nastier than usual. Angle gets up to block the Asai moonsault but can’t German suplex him off the apron. Instead Michaels hits a springboard crossbody to crush Angle onto the table and they’re both down.

They barely beat the count and slowly slug it out, with Michaels hitting the forearm. Now the elbow can connect but the superkick is countered into the ankle lock (which is a pretty simple way to go but Michaels can be a bit dim at times). Michaels finally makes the rope and gets two off a rollup but the superkick is countered again. One heck of an Angle Slam gets two and Angle isn’t sure what to do. He goes intellectual by putting the straps back up so he can take them down again (that’s just brilliant) but misses a moonsault (which almost sound up being a moonsault headbutt).

Michaels goes up again and it’s a super Angle Slam for two, with the fans losing it on the kickout. Angle yells at him a lot and gets superkicked for his efforts. Michaels finally gets the cover but Angle gets the shoulder up at the last half second, with the fans not being pleased. They slowly get up and Angle snatches the ankle lock, with Michaels rolling around but he can’t escape. Angle even gets the grapevine and Michaels still hangs on for the better part of two minutes (GEEZ) before tapping at 27:30.

Rating: A-. That ending is one of the only things that holds this one back as otherwise it’s an absolute classic. This is one of those pairings where you can just put them in the ring and you know it’s going to be magic, which is exactly what happened here. The double strap pull down is still great and the match holds up rather well. I mean…it’s Michaels vs. Angle for almost half an hour at Wrestlemania. What more do you want?

And after that, let’s have Piper’s Pit. Piper thanks the fans for the honor of the Hall Of Fame, despite them not really having much to do with it. As for tonight, he wanted to talk to the baddest, meanest, low downest rattlesnake son of an unnamed goat in WWE. Who is the biggest rebel in WWE? Steve Austin? BULLS***!

Piper has to see this guy in person so here is Austin, for the first time in a good while. Austin gets in the ring, where Piper welcomes him to the Pit and then slaps him. Austin thanks Piper and slaps him right back. Piper: “I kinda like ya!” Piper says he respects Austin and is immediately thrown off by the WHAT chants. He likes what Austin has done with Vince McMahon over the years (and starts getting the rhythm right to deal with the chants) but he was here when Wrestlemania didn’t even have a number.

Piper agrees on everything else, but when it comes to being a rebel, Austin has nothing on him. Austin mocks Piper’s fashion sense and says he isn’t intimidated whatsoever. Piper goes to respond but Austin tells him to think about it…and here’s Carlito to be in WAY over his head. Austin and Piper accuse the other of having a plan but Carlito says they’re slapping each other like little girls. Neither of them are cool and everyone wants to see Carlito. Piper calls Carlito “Alfalfa” for his out of date reference of the night.

Carlito wants both of them out of here and loads up the apple, which Piper takes. Instead Piper takes a bite of the apple and spits it at Carlito, who comes up swinging. Austin makes the save and hits the Stunner on Carlito. Piper throws Carlito out, beer is consumed, and Piper gets Stunned too. All in all, a pretty complete wast of time as they didn’t have anything to say to each other and Austin didn’t seem to care.

Akebono vs. Big Show

This is a sumo match and the fans are basically silent for Akebono, mainly because he has nothing to do with WWE. The whole point of this is to have the sight gag of Big Show in a thong and that’s about it. They do the big ceremonial start, they grapple, Show almost gets him out, Akebono does get him out at 1:01. This was a thing that happened.

We recap JBL defending the Smackdown World Title against John Cena. It’s a straight up culture clash as JBL is the old school rich Texan while Cena is the modern star who had the spinner title and wears throwback jerseys. Cena won a tournament and the match was on, but they weren’t allowed to have any physical contact. Therefore, they both tormented the other to ramp up some tension.

Smackdown World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Cena is challenging while JBL gets a police motorcade and JBL bucks rain down from the ceiling. Cena starts fast with a running shoulder for a knockdown but JBL gets a boot up in the corner. That means JBL can hit his own running shoulder and Cena is in trouble for a change. The slow beating ensues, including JBL grabbing a swinging neckbreaker for two.

Back up and JBL chokes on the ropes before Cena tries to fight back, only to charge into a spinebuster for two more. There’s another neckbreaker for another two, followed by a short arm clothesline for the same. JBL forearms him in the back and grabs the sleeper, with Cena finally suplexing his way out of trouble.

A double clothesline puts both of them down but Cena is sent crashing out to the floor. Back in and JBL takes him up top for the superplex but goes for a high crossbody for some reason, earning a powerslam out of the air. Cena initiates the comeback and it’s the ProtoBomb into the Shuffle. JBL gets a boot up in the corner but misses the Clothesline, allowing Cena to hit the FU for his first World Title at 11:27.

Rating: C. Yeah it’s historic as Cena gets the win to end the JBL title reign, but at the end of the day, it was a pretty boring match. JBL just could not back it up in the ring and that was on display here. Cena tried as hard as he could and had the fire in his eyes, but JBL never even had a big near fall to build some drama. Cena wins clean, but that’s all there was here and that didn’t quite carry it to greatness.

Post match Cena celebrates in the crowd in a clip that was on a lot of highlight reels.

We go to the Hall Of Fame induction ceremony from last night, with Hulk Hogan headlining and Roddy Piper getting in a nice speech. Iron Sheik doing his rambling and raving and Bobby Heenan going “WHAT THE H*** DID HE JUST SAY???” was great too.

Gene Okerlund presents the class of 2005:

Nikolai Volkoff (unfortunately not in the brown suit)
Iron Sheik (makes sense)
Paul Orndorff (who apparently intentionally left his plaque in his hotel room because it was cheap)
Bob Orton Jr. (the arm seems healed)
Jimmy Hart (you have to have him)
Roddy Piper (yep)
Hulk Hogan (they’re probably not here without him)

We recap HHH defending the Raw World Title against Batista. They’ve been part of Evolution together but Batista has become a star, while HHH is still the focal point. It became clear that HHH only cared about keeping himself as the star but then Batista won the Royal Rumble. Before he could decide who to challenge, he overheard HHH and Ric Flair mocking him, which was enough for him to make the decision to challenge HHH. The thumbs up turning into a thumbs down as he chose to come after HHH is still great stuff.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Batista

HHH, with Ric Flair, is defending and is played to the ring by Motorhead, with Lemmy mostly butchering the words. To be fair, it’s still a pretty awesome entrance and the belt looks extra shiny. Unfortunately this is before Batista got I Walk Alone so his entrance doesn’t have the same impact. We get an old school weapons check and we’re ready to go. They take turns shoving each other to start with Batista getting a bit of an advantage with the power game.

HHH’s running shoulder doesn’t work as Batista knocks him down so we’ll try a headlock instead. An early Pedigree attempt is countered into quite the slam and HHH needs to cool off a bit. Back up and HHH goes with the simple idea of hitting Batista in the face but Batista gives him a backdrop. The jumping knee puts Batista outside again, where Flair’s distraction lets HHH send Batista into the steps.

Back in and HHH chokes away so Flair does the same, with Lawler not seeing anything wrong with it. HHH rams Batista’s back into the barricade a few times and starts hammering away on it back inside. Some knees to the back set up a backbreaker and Flair chokes away again (JR losing it is great). Batista fights out of the corner but walks into the spinebuster for two. The neckbreaker gets two more but another Pedigree attempt is countered with a backdrop.

HHH facebusters him for two and goes up, only to get clotheslined out of the air. A sidewalk slam gives Batista two but he charges into a boot in the corner. Batista is fine enough to throw HHH into the corner and over the top for a big crash outside. Batista follows in a not so bright move and gets sent into the steps, with HHH taking him onto those steps for a Pedigree attempt. That’s countered into a catapult into the post and we’ve got the fastest bleeding in history.

HHH’s bleeding head is rammed into more steps before they get back inside, where Batista has that look in his eyes. Batista just unloads with forearms to the cut, followed by a running corner clothesline. It works so well that Batista does it again, followed by a powerslam for two. HHH staggers out to the floor, where Flair’s distraction lets him grab a chair.

The referee takes it away but gets bumped in the process, allowing Flair to grab the belt. That earns him a spinebuster back inside so the referee gets rid of him, allowing HHH to get in a belt shot for two. Batista is back with the spinebuster but HHH goes low. The Pedigree is blocked AGAIN, with Batista even breaking HHH’s grip for a cool visual. Batista powers him up for an Air Raid Crash of all things and it’s thumbs down. The Batista Bomb finishes HHH at 21:34.

Rating: B. The goal here was to make Batista look like a huge deal and put him over for the World Title on the biggest stage of them all. That worked and it worked very well. You really couldn’t have asked for the result to be much better, though the match itself didn’t quite get all the way to greatness. It’s perfectly good though and that’s enough to get by, especially with the right result.

Post match Batista glares at HHH and Flair as they leave. Batista poses as the pyro goes off (that was on the opening highlight package for a long time).

The big highlight package wraps us up.

Overall Rating: B+. Again, the goal of this show was to get Cena and Batista over as the new generation and that happened. Everything else is pretty much a big bonus, with only the Women’s Title and sumo matches being downgrades. Angle vs. Michaels is pretty easily the match of the night, with some other rather good stuff included. I liked this more than I thought I would and it’s a rather strong show, with the big goal being more than accomplished.

 

 

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Wrestlemania XX
Date: March 14, 2004
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole

It’s the second of three redos this year and it is a show that I have seen quite a few times over the years. WWE knows how to bust out the big anniversary shows and that is what we will be seeing here. The fact that the show is in Madison Square Garden makes it even better. The main event is HHH defending the Raw World Title against Chris Benoit and Shawn Michaels in a match that I think might work. Let’s get to it.

The Harlem Boys Choir sing America the Beautiful with a VERY patriotic montage.

The opening video features Vince McMahon walking out of the shadows and talking about how he had a vision twenty years ago which shaped everything today. This gives us the always awesome montage of Wrestlemania clips, which really is their strong suit. They know how to make things feel special and that is what they did here. Speaking of special, the video ends with Shane McMahon now next to Vince and presenting his son, Vince’s first grandchild, as the narrator talks about where it all begins again. That has always stuck with me since I saw this show for the first time and it is great.

In a change from the usual MSG setup, the entrance is on the left instead of opposite the hard camera, though there is a large screen showing the current match.

We get the traditional welcome from the multiple commentary teams.

US Title: John Cena vs. Big Show

Cena is challenging and is on fire here, while Big Show has defended the title less than three times since winning it back in October. Cena’s rap mocks Show’s anatomy in various ways and promises that he’ll win the title tonight. Show shoves him away to start but Cena is back with the right hands. Cena’s shots are shrugged off though and he gets sent outside, setting up a powerslam for two back inside.

The fans think Show sucks as he slowly hammers Cena down, including a slam. We get the required standing on Cena’s chest/throat and a suplex drops Cena again. More standing, this time on Cena’s back, seems to wake him up a bit but Show kicks him in the face. Show’s standing legdrop gets two and the frustration starts setting in fast. Powered by the fans (his kind always is), Cena slips out of a slam and grabs a choke, which earns him a hard clotheslines.

Show is back with the cobra clutch but Cena powers out again and avoids a charge in the corner. The FU barely gets two though and now it’s Cena being stunned. With nothing else working, Cena grabs his chain, which is taken away by the competent referee. Instead it’s the brass knuckles off Show’s head, setting up the FU to give the filthy cheater the pin and the title at 9:20.

Rating: C. This was more of a coronation than anything else and it came at the end of a not very interesting match. The problem with someone like Show is there are only so many things that you can do with him. Cena has the power to make it work a little better, but this isn’t the best time in Show’s history and it was obvious here. That being said, this was ALL about Cena and as long as he left with the title, nothing else mattered.

Coach is walking through the back and after meeting various people like Tom Prichard and Teddy Long, he goes in to see Raw General Manager Eric Bischoff (with assistant Johnny Nitro), who wants to make sure that Undertaker is here. Bischoff sends Coach to find him but Coach isn’t exactly comfortable with that. He goes anyway, as Bischoff doesn’t really care.

Evolution, minus HHH, is in a stairwell, with Randy Orton talking about how it’s ironic that we are back here in MSG where he became the new Hardcore Legend. We see a clip of Orton kicking Mick Foley down these steps, which made Foley walk away back in December. Then Foley came back, when Orton spat in his face. Foley can’t accept that life has passed him by, just like evolution.

We see clips of Foley being beaten up over and over, including a segment where Foley told Orton to really hit him in the face. Evolution has gotten bored with it, just like Foley, so he called Hollywood to get the Rock. Then Evolution beat him down too and they’ll do it again tonight. It all started here in MSG, and tonight it all ends here as well. This one always stuck out for me too, just because of the different location.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Rob Van Dam/Booker T. vs. Dudley Boyz vs. La Resistance vs. Mark Jindrak/Garrison Cade

Van Dam and Booker are defending (with their pretty terrible mashup theme) and this is one fall to a finish. Dupree and Van Dam start things off with a monkey flip sending Dupree flying. Booker beats up La Resistance but it’s off to Bubba for the hard lockup. A neckbreaker drops Booker for two and the snap jabs put him down again. D-Von comes in so Van Dam takes him down with a top rope kick to the face, showing that he too is a filthy cheater by coming in without a tag.

Jindrak tags himself in to stomp away on Booker and it’s Dupree coming back in to drive Booker into the corner. Conway cranks on both arms with a knee in Booker’s back for far too long until a spinebuster breaks things up. The hot tag brings in Van Dam to clean house but D-Von shoves him off the top to break up the Five Star. Everything breaks down and Cade saves Booker from the 3D. Booker kicks Conway down and the Five Star retains the titles at 7:54.

Rating: C-. This is one of the most “yeah whatever” matches I can remember in a long time. There were too many people involved and it was only so good because of all of the people running around. Also, why are you using a minute of an eight minute match on a rest hold? You have eight people involved but we spent that long on Conway pulling Booker’s arms? Really?

Coach goes to find Undertaker and is told there are some “freakish noises” coming from a door. He heads to the door, which is being knocked back and forth. Gene Okerlund, pulling his clothes come back on, comes out, followed by Bobby Heenan, whose shirt is undone. Coach wonders what is going on, but Heenan says they were playing poker. Heenan: “He was dealing.” Coach wants to know what was going on in there, so here are Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young, who grab Gene and Heenan and drag them back in. Heenan: “No I don’t want to go back! I haven’t been well!” This still gets me every time.

We recap Christian vs. Chris Jericho. They used to be best friends and made a bet about who could be more, ahem, successful with Lita and Trish Stratus respectively. Lita kind of went away, but Jericho started to fall for Trish. She found out about the bet and yelled at Jericho, who then tried to win her back. Christian turned on Jericho to get him to be the old Jericho again, setting up the match. This was a really detailed story and I’ve always liked it for telling a coherent story throughout. You don’t get that often and it was one of the best of the era.

Chris Jericho vs. Christian

They fight over a lockup to start and go into the corner, with Christian shoving him instead of giving a clean break. Jericho punches him in the face and starts throwing knees to take over, setting up the running elbow. A kick to the face and a backdrop to the floor keep Christian in trouble and Jericho hits a bit dive to take him down again. Back in and Christian manages to belly to back suplex him to the floor to take over for the first time.

The neck crank goes on back inside, followed by a chinlock with a knee in Jericho’s back. A spinwheel kick gives Christian two and it’s time to slap Jericho in the face a few times. That earns him a head to head collision though and they’re both down. The slugout goes to Jericho and he hits the running crotch attack to the back in the ropes. The step up enziguri gives Jericho two but Christian reverses a rollup into one of his own, with a grab of the rope getting two.

Jericho’s bulldog sets up the Lionsault to Christian’s raised knees and a reverse tornado DDT gives Christian two of his own. Jericho is right back up with his swinging sleeper drop but he gets tossed off the top, banging up his knee in the process. Christian’s high crossbody is rolled through so he kicks Jericho in the knee. The Texas Cloverleaf goes on for a bit until Jericho reverses into the Walls.

Christian is in the ropes almost immediately and he rolls outside….with Jericho holding on and keeping the Walls on outside. Back in and a butterfly superplex gives Jericho two and here is Trish Stratus to slap the apron. An implant DDT gives Christian two, which draws Trish up to the apron. Christian shoves her down so Jericho sends him outside. Trish elbows Jericho in the face (it’s unclear if she could see who it was) and Christian’s rollup with tights is enough for the pin at 14:44.

Rating: B. This got going once it became a regular match and these two have more than enough talent to make a longer match work. Christian certainly needed the win more than Jericho here, as it was a big boost in probably his biggest singles win ever. Jericho winning here ends the feud so having Christian move up is the right way to go. Good match too, and that really shouldn’t be surprising.

Post match Trish is upset and apologizes to Jericho. Christian comes back but Trish turns on Jericho and slaps him on the face, setting up the Unprettier. Evil Trish leaves with Christian and we get the semi-famous kiss on the stage in the next big step for both of them.

Mick Foley is fired up to be back in Madison Square Garden and needs to get in that mindset to put all of this anger and emotion on Evolution. The Rock interrupts and is VERY fired up, saying he has finally come back…..home. After telling Lilian Garcia not to look at the People’s package (which she does), Rock steals the cameraman to come with him and sees Hurricane and Rosey, Jimmy Snuka and Don Muraco and then goes all the way into the arena for a shot of the crowd. They’re ready for Evolution and it’s weird seeing Rock and Foley as these two big serious guys going up against evil.

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

No recap video here, but it’s basically Foley fighting Randy Orton and the two of them both have major backup. Rock and Foley clear the ring to start before Rock and Flair settle things down, giving the New York fans a crazy dream match. A shoulder puts Flair down and Rock busts out a strut, with Flair coming back up for a WOO. The chops don’t do Flair any good and Rock hits a backdrop to send him rolling outside.

Foley follows him out and drops Flair with a clothesline before coming in himself. That sends Orton bailing to the floor so Foley is right there to send him into the announcers’ table. Back in and Rock takes over on Orton (there’s a dream match we never got), but has to punch Flair and Batista off the apron. The distraction is enough for Batista to come in and take over, allowing Flair to hit some more effective chops. We get the big strut and Flair goes up top and….oh you know the deal.

Batista comes back in before Rock can bring in Foley but the tag brings in Foley a few seconds later anyway. Foley fights out of the corner and hammers Batista down but that huge Batista clothesline cuts his down. Some double teaming on the floor has Foley in more trouble and there’s the big whip to send him knees first into the steps (taking that bump so many times explains so much about why Foley walks that way).

Back in and Foley and Flair slug it out until Orton can come in and pull at Foley’s hair for a reverse chinlock. Batista adds some clotheslines but Foley slips in a quick Mandible Claw. In a smarter move than you would expect from a musclehead like this version of Batista, he waves Orton in for the save instead of getting in more trouble. Flair comes back in and gets forearmed in the face, allowing the really easy tag back to Rock. House is cleaned but Batista cuts him off with a spinebuster.

That lets Flair….load up the People’s Elbow (complete with throwing an invisible elbow pad), but again he takes too long, allowing Rock to nip up and really clean house. The spinebuster plants Flair, setting up a People’s Elbow, complete with strut, for a delayed two. There’s the Rock Bottom to Orton with Flair making the save.

Flair grabs a chair but the distraction lets the Batista Bomb hit Rock to give Orton two (in the same way Batista helped Orton beat Shawn Michaels at Survivor Series 2003). The real hot tag brings in Foley to clean house but the Mandible Claw takes too long (theme of the match) and Orton grabs an RKO for the pin at 17:55.

Rating: B+. The more I see this match, the more I like it, as you have Rock and Flair doing everything they could to steal the show and Foley going after Orton every chance he could. Batista was in there with the muscle and it made for a great showcase. It was every bit the big moment that they were shooting for and it made me want to see a bunch of these combinations again. That wouldn’t happen for the most part, but dang they made this one work really well, as the match itself was a backdrop to just doing entertaining stuff, leaving the crowd completely in their hands.

Hall of Fame video recap, featuring Heenan’s “I wish Monsoon was here”, which will get me every single time.

The Hall of Fame class is introduced by Gene Okerlund:

Bobby Heenan (still playing to the crowd as only he can)
Tito Santana (about as perfect of a midcarder as you could have)
Big John Studd (represented by his son)
Harley Race (yep, though billing him as The King is a bit odd)
Pete Rose (booed, but apparently very grateful for the honor so points for that)
Don Muraco (I could go for more of him, as you don’t see him brought up very often)
Greg Valentine (who looks like he is ready for Wrestlemania IV)
Junkyard Dog (represented by his daughter)
Billy Graham (there’s an influential one)
Sgt. Slaughter (with the salutes)
Jesse Ventura (I could listen to that voice talk about anything, as long as he jabs McMahon)

This was the first class in almost ten years and it is a heck of a group, though no one really stands out as a headliner.

Sable/Torrie Wilson vs. Miss Jackie/Stacy Keibler

Playboy Evening Gown match, as Jackie and Stacy are jealous of the other two for being in the magazine. Hold on though as Sable wants to start minus the evening gowns. That’s exactly what we do, with commentary reacting exactly as you would expect them to. Jackie won’t drop her gown so it gets ripped off of her to start fast. Sable kicks at Jackie’s ribs in the corner and Torrie comes in with a high crossbody.

Stacy comes in (taking her time to come over the ropes) and throws in a cartwheel. The Kevin Nash choke in the corner doesn’t do Stacy much good so they go to the pinfall reversal sequence for various camera shots. Stacy’s kick to the face gets two on Torrie before it’s back to Jackie. The referee gets rolled over and it’s Torrie reversing a rollup for the pin on Jackie at 2:32. This is exactly what you would have expected it to be.

Fans have come from various states and countries for the show.

WWE Champion Eddie Guerrero says he has Chris Benoit’s back win or lose, but Benoit doesn’t like the word lose. Eddie says no one believes in him but Benoit says he believes in himself and tonight is his night. That’s what Eddie wanted to hear.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

Chavo Guerrero Jr. (with his dad) is defending and will enter last in the ten person gauntlet. Everyone gets their entrance (with Ultimo Dragon’s two slips edited out, thankfully) and it’s Shannon Moore in at #1 and Ultimo Dragon in at #2. Dragon works on the arm to start but Moore shoulders him down for….well not much really. Back up and Moore misses a Whisper in the Wind, allowing Dragon to hit his standing Sliced Bread for the elimination at 1:19.

Jamie Noble is in at #3 to jump Dragon from behind with a clothesline for two. Dragon is right back with his alternating kicks for two but he has to bail out of a moonsault. A neckbreaker drops Dragon and a guillotine choke finishes him off at 2:17 (total). Funaki is in at #4 and hits a high crossbody but Noble rolls through for the pin at 2:27.

Nunzio is in at #5 as commentary brings up SD Jones getting pinned in nine seconds at Wrestlemania. Some quick rollups give Nunzio two but Noble sends him outside for the HUGE flip dive off the top. They take turns pulling each other off the apron until Noble gets the countout elimination at 4:20.

Billy Kidman is in at #6 to jump Noble from behind (again with the filthy cheaters) and Nunzio pulls Noble to the floor. Instead of standing around, Kidman hits a crazy top rope shooting star onto the two of them for the almost terrifying landing. Thankfully Kidman is able to throw Noble back inside for two but has to fight out of the guillotine. An enziguri sets up the shooting star press, but Kidman has to fight Noble off. That’s fine enough, as the super BK Bomb gets rid of Noble at 6:12.

Rey Mysterio (as the Flash) is in at #7 and the top rope seated senton connects, only to have Kidman blast him with a dropkick. Mysterio hits his own dropkick to send Kidman outside but Akio snaps Rey’s throat across the top. Kidman’s spinebuster gets two so he puts Rey on top, only to get pulled down with a sunset bomb for the elimination at 7:30.

It’s Tajiri in at #8 to kick away at Mysterio and the Tarantula makes it worse. That doesn’t last long (just shy of five seconds oddly enough) and it’s the 619 to rock Tajiri. The springboard….something misses though and Tajiri loads up the mist, which hits an interfering Akio by mistake.

Rey grabs a rollup to get rid of Tajiri at 8:39 and apparently the mist means Akio can’t go, so Chavo is in at #10 to complete the field. Tajiri cheap shots Rey so Chavo gets two but Rey fights up and takes Chavo Sr. down. The running flip dive takes out Sr. again (well that seemed excessive) so Jr. grabs a rollup, with Sr. grabbing his hands to retain the title at 10:31.

Rating: C. This was the next match in the “well, here are a bunch of people” series of matches on the show. I’ve never gotten the logic of these matches as you have people getting falls in a minute when usual matches take five times as long as one elimination here. At the same time, Chavo just keeps the title, making this quite the uninteresting showcase, save for Kidman’s big spots.

We recap Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar. They talked trash to each other at the Royal Rumble and then Lesnar interfered in said Rumble to help eliminate Goldberg. Then Goldberg cost Lesnar the WWE Title so we have this match, with Steve Austin as guest referee. As a result, the feud wound up being Lesnar vs. Austin, as Austin gave Goldberg the idea to help cost Lesnar the title. Then Lesnar stole Austin’s ATV and Goldberg was just kind of there too. Oh and both Goldberg and Lesnar are leaving after the show and everyone knows about it.

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Steve Austin is guest referee. Lesnar and Goldberg do their big entrances and we immediately hit the YOU SOLD OUT chants (pick your target). They stare at each other for almost a minute and Austin tells them to go at it. Now it’s the Goodbye Song as I try to get my mind around the idea of Lesnar having a tiny goatee coming in. They stare at each other some more as commentary talks about Lesnar going to the NFL.

There’s no contact for the first two minutes so Austin stares at both of them as he figures out that this is going to be a long night. They finally lock up after about 2:50 and that stays on for nearly 40 seconds with both of them letting go. They fight over another lockup, and by fight I mean they’re standing there with their arms around each other’s heads. Fans: “THIS MATCH SUCKS!”

Lesnar grabs a headlock for the first offensive move about five minutes in. They trade shoulders with neither going anywhere so they go nose to nose to yell at each other. The double shoulder puts them both down and then stare at each other a bit. Goldberg FINALLY picks him up in a gorilla press for a spinebuster but the spear only hits buckle. After a GOLDBERG SUCKS chant, Lesnar throws him back inside for some suplexes and a standing choke as Lawler desperately tries to turn this into a Raw vs. Smackdown thing.

That goes on for a long time as well until Goldberg fights out and they collide again, earning some straight booing. Goldberg fights up again and hits some clotheslines into a swinging neckbreaker. The spear gets two so Goldberg yells at Austin, allowing Lesnar to come back with the F5 for two. Now it’s Lesnar yelling at Austin, meaning he misses a spear of his own. Goldberg hits the spear and the Jackhammer gets rid of Lesnar for about eight years.

Rating: D-. Of course the match is terrible and a form of torture in 14 states, but there is some kind of perverse entertainment out of the whole thing. This wasn’t designed to be an entertaining match but rather two guys just messing around until they did a few things and called it a match. It’s an all time mess, but it’s a bit different than a match being a wreck just because it isn’t any good. This one is so bad that it’s fun in a way, which is a very different thing.

Post match we get beer and Stunners as the fans are pleased with Austin for knocking out those two after that match.

Wrestlemania XXI is in Los Angeles.

In a very nice moment, Vince McMahon comes out to thank the fans for being there for twenty years of Wrestlemania. This is the kind of genuine feeling moment that you do not get in modern WWE and it was kind of sweet.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Basham Brothers vs. APA vs. Too Cool

Too Cool (Scotty 2 Hotty/Rikishi) are defending and again it’s one fall to a finish. Benjamin jumps Bradshaw to start and gets kicked in the face for his efforts. Doug Basham tags himself in and suplexes Benjamin down for two, with Haas having to make the save. Back up and Benjamin slams Doug onto Haas’ knee and it’s off to Scotty to run Haas over.

That lets Scotty stop to dance but he gets thrown over the top. Scotty is fine enough to skin the cat but Haas catches him on his shoulders, allowing Benjamin to hit the running jump onto his back. The Bashams come in and hit a double suplex on Scotty to take over as the heat segment in the second four way Tag Team Title match on a four and a half hour show continues.

Scotty finally flips out of a belly to back suplex and the hot tag brings in Rikishi to clean house. Haas takes the Stinkface and Bradshaw fall away slams Doug over the top and onto a pile on the floor. The Clothesline From Bradshaw hits Danny but Rikishi takes Bradshaw out and sits on Danny to retain at 6:03.

Rating: D+. It was about the same as the first four way, but this would probably be the first match that needed to be cut to trim some of the time off this very long show. Rikishi and Scotty are another on the long list of forgotten teams to hold the titles and it isn’t like this was anything memorable either.

Dancing ensues post match.

Edge is coming back after over a year away with a neck injury.

Here is Jesse Ventura to interview someone so he picks…..Donald Trump, who happens to be in the front row. Jesse plugs the Apprentice and suggests that he is going to run for President, even asking for Trump’s financial and moral support. Sure, and we’ll move on as fast as we can.

Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Molly Holly

Victoria is defending and this is title vs. hair, which was the only way they could get this match on the show so the two of them immediately agreed. Molly forearms her down to start and hits a running hip attack in the corner. Back up and Victoria spins out of a wristlock and Molly needs an early breather. She gets back in and grabs a snap suplex for two on Victoria, setting up a basement dropkick for two more.

The neck crank is on as Lawler goes into a discussion of Molly’s underwear. JR: “What does that have to do with this wrestling match?” Victoria fights up and hits a powerslam for two as JR wants some hot tea. Molly is sat on top and comes back with a sunset bomb for two of her own. For some reason Molly tries the Widow’s Peak (Victoria’s finisher) but Victoria reverses into a rollup to retain at 4:54.

Rating: C. They were victims of the time problems again here as there is only so much you can do in less than five minutes. The good thing is that the two of them are talented enough to make something out of nothing so the match was certainly watchable, even if it was more about setting up the post match stuff. It’s literally a case of this being the best WWE could give them though and that is better than just cutting the match.

Post match Molly tries to run away but gets sleepered out and tied in the chair for the big hair cut.

We recap Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero for the WWE Title. Angle attacked Eddie because he didn’t want a former drug addict as the WWE Champion (the future would not be kind to this story for Angle). Therefore, it is time for a real hero to take the title but Eddie isn’t standing for this. Smackdown General Manager Paul Heyman has gotten in on Angle’s side and has helped him destroy Eddie more than once, including once when Eddie’s hands were handcuffed behind his back. Now it’s time for revenge.

Smackdown World Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Eddie is defending and the haircut is continuing as Angle makes his entrance. They start slowly with Eddie actually taking him down but making the mistake of trying to go amateur with him. Angle’s headlock takeover works rather well but Eddie as we get the LET’S GO ANGLE/ANGLE SUCKS chants. Eddie gets a fireman’s carry takeover but Angle flips over into a front facelock without much trouble.

A backdrop gets Eddie out of trouble and he armdrags Angle over into an armbar, setting in the frustration. Angle fights up and gets an abdominal stretch to stretch Eddie’s abdominals before hitting a German suplex. The second is escaped and Eddie winds up on the apron, where he has to block the German suplex to the floor. A dropkick puts Angle down but Eddie’s big dive only hits the barricade to bang up his ribs even more.

Some shoulders to the ribs set up a bodyscissors but Eddie jawbreaks his way to freedom. That lasts for all of two seconds as Angle drops the ribs across the top rope and snaps off an overhead belly to belly. Now it’s a waistlock to stay on the ribs and another belly to belly gives Angle another two. Eddie manages a quick knockdown though and goes up for the frog splash, which only hits mat.

The frustrated Angle starts throwing right hands, which just fire Eddie up enough to start his comeback. The rolling German suplexes cut that off in a hurry but the Angle Slam is countered into an armdrag. Two Amigos connect until Angle picks the ankle but Eddie kicks him off immediately. Eddie goes up but Angle is right there with the run up the ropes belly to belly superplex for the big crash back down.

Angle runs him over again though and the straps come down, setting up the Angle Slam. Eddie breaks that up as well and it’s a DDT to set up the frog splash for a rather close two. The ankle lock goes on again so Eddie rolls him outside and starts untying his boot to loosen the pressure. Back in and the angry Angle grabs the ankle lock, only to have Eddie kick him away and lose his boot. Angle is so stunned that he gets small packaged to retain Eddie’s title at 21:33.

Rating: A-. This was more about the psychology as Angle was hyper focused and Eddie eventually suckered him in with the boot. It made for a great finish, but it also came after an awesome match with Angle taking Eddie apart as only he could and Eddie having to survive. The ending was a very Eddie way to retain the title and that grin is hard to turn down. Absolutely a Wrestlemania match and an instant classic that doesn’t get the credit it deserves.

We recap Undertaker vs. Kane in the return of the Dead Man. Kane had turned on Undertaker and buried him alive (again) because he thought Undertaker was going soft. Then the gong went off at the Royal Rumble and Kane realized he was in trouble. Now Undertaker is back and it’s time for some revenge.

Kane vs. Undertaker

It’s the first time the Dead Man has been back since 1999 and Paul Bearer is right there with him. We also have torch bearing druids, because you always need torch bearing druids. Kane is already panicked and shouts that Undertaker isn’t real, because somehow Kane still doesn’t get how Undertaker works. Undertaker finally starts punching away against the ropes and they head to the floor for a slugout. That goes to Undertaker, who hits the apron legdrop to stun Kane again.

Back in and Kane kicks him in the face and it turns into a slugout on the mat for a change. The side slam plants Undertaker again, setting up the top rope clothesline for two. Undertaker fights right back with more right hands and tries Old School, which is pulled out of the air by the throat. The chokeslam plants Undertaker but Kane poses instead of covering. Undertaker sits up and stares at Kane mid pose, meaning it’s time for the real beating. Right hands, the chokeslam and the Tombstone finish Kane to make it 12-0 at 6:55.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t about the match but rather Undertaker being back, so there was no reason to believe that Kane was any serious threat. What mattered here was having Undertaker get back in the ring and destroy Kane because he is back in a big way. Kane was the designated victim here, which has been the case for him so many times now that he should be used to it.

We recap HHH defending the Raw World Title against Shawn Michaels and Chris Benoit. Michaels and HHH went to a draw at the Royal Rumble so HHH retained the title. Then Benoit jumped to Raw and said he wanted the Raw World Title. The contract signing was set but Shawn ran in to interrupt, saying he needed that one more shot. He took out Benoit and signed the contract, because WWE continues to not get how contracts work. Steve Austin then made the match a triple threat, with Shawn being the most wedged in challenger of all time.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit

HHH is defending in his weird white boots look. We go old school with the weapons check before Benoit sends HHH outside to start. That leaves Benoit to miss a backslide and Crossface on Shawn, who grabs a rollup for two. A northern lights suplex gives Benoit two but HHH is back in. Shawn has to skin the cat to get back inside, where he tosses Benoit out instead.

HHH is set outside as well, where he and Benoit are taken down by a baseball slide. Shawn’s big moonsault to the floor puts everyone down for a change until Benoit is left alone on the outside. The Pedigree is broken up by a returning Benoit, who fires off knees to Shawn’s ribs and sends him into the post. Shawn is fine enough to come back and tie Benoit in the Tree of Woe but HHH cuts Shawn off again.

The flying forearms drops HHH and Shawn nips up, only to have Benoit toss him outside. Benoit loads up the Swan Dive but gets crotched by Shawn, who misses Sweet Chin Music to HHH. A DDT sends Shawn outside and a superplex gets six (which is somehow not three) on Benoit. The Crossface goes on out of nowhere so Shawn has to dive in for the save. That earns Shawn some rolling German suplexes into a Swan Dive for a rather close two as HHH is still down.

Now it’s Shawn making the comeback and hammering on Benoit, who gets sent outside. HHH gets superkicked for two with Benoit making the save so everyone goes outside. Shawn gets posted and busted open so Benoit puts on the Crossface, with HHH having to grab the hand to block the tap. HHH sends Benoit into the steps and loads up the announcers’ table (it wouldn’t be Wrestlemania without it), with Shawn helping on a double suplex to put Benoit through said table.

NOW we get the big HHH vs. Shawn slugout, because that’s what the two of them probably wanted this to be the whole time. Shawn whips HHH over the corner for the crash to the floor, with HHH coming up bleeding. Back in and Shawn slowly gets the better of things but a quick Pedigree takes him down.

Benoit has to come back in for the save before sending Shawn outside. The Sharpshooter has HHH in trouble so Shawn breaks it up with the superkick for a delayed two. Benoit sends him outside and reverses the Pedigree into the Crossface. HHH can’t get the rope and Benoit rolls into the middle of the ring for the tap and the title at 24:08.

Rating: A+. Yes it’s still a masterpiece with nothing close to a misstep or weak part and that is not something you get to see very often. All three worked hard and at the end of the day, Benoit won clean over HHH via submission in the middle of the ring. This felt like the main event of a milestone show and it was an incredible match which has not gotten old every time I have seen it. That is hard to do and it certainly deserves the honor.

Benoit gets the HUGE celebration with the confetti falling. Eddie Guerrero comes in for the shot that is now iconic for all the wrong reasons and JR’s voice gives out with the shouting to end the show.

Well almost, as we get the highlight reel to really wrap it up.

Overall Rating: B. In case it wasn’t clear throughout, there are more than a few matches on this show that feel like they are there for the sake of getting people on the card. If you get rid of those matches, this is an all time classic, as well as having the show be under four hours. The rest of the show is pretty much an all timer (Goldberg vs. Lesnar aside) with the matches either feeling important or being great. Just trim it down and stop cramming things in and it’s that much better. It’s absolutely worth a look if you have seen it before or not, but have the fast forward button ready.

Ratings Comparison

John Cena vs. Big Show

Original: C-
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C-
2018 Redo: D+
2022 Redo: C

Booker T/Rob Van Dam vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. Dudley Boys vs. La Resistance

Original: D
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D
2022 Redo: C-

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B-
2018 Redo: B
2022 Redo: B

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

Original: A
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B
2018 Redo: B+
2022 Redo: B+

Torrie Wilson/Sable vs. Stacy Keibler/Miss Jackie

Original: F
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2018 Redo: N/A
2022 Redo: N/A

Cruiserweight Open

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D
2022 Redo: C

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: F
2013 Redo: E
2015 Redo: F
2018 Redo: F
2022 Redo: D-

Too Cool vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Basham Brothers vs. APA

Original: D
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D-
2022 Redo: D+

Victoria vs. Molly Holly

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: C-
2018 Redo: D+
2022 Redo: C

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A
2013 Redo: A
2015 Redo: A
2018 Redo: A
2022 Redo: A-

Undertaker vs. Kane

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D+
2018 Redo: D
2022 Redo: D+

Chris Benoit vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A+
2018 Redo: A+
2022 Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: A-
2018 Redo: B+
2022 Redo: B

I think we’ve found about the definitive ratings for this one, or at least as close as you’re going to get after five looks at it.

 

 

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Wrestlemania XIX
Date: March 30, 2003
Location: Safeco Field, Seattle, Washington
Attendance: 54,097
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

This one is very interesting as the TV leading up to the show has been a cross between boring and really bad, yet the show has one of the best reputations of all time. I’m really curious to see how it goes from such a bad build to such a great show, especially with so much emphasis on Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon. Let’s get to it.

Sunday Night Heat: Raw Tag Team Titles: Rob Van Dam/Kane vs. Lance Storm/Chief Morely

Morely and Storm are defending with Morely acting as the new champion due to William Regal being injured. The Dudleys are on the floor in forced servitude to Morely and Eric Bischoff. Van Dam kicks Morely out to the floor to start and it’s Kane diving onto the champs for a cool visual as we take a break. Back with the champs in control and Morely grabbing a chinlock. The Blue Thunder Bomb gets two as the announcers rip on Morely. The Money Shot misses and it’s off to Kane for the house cleaning.

Storm breaks out of a chokeslam and gets caught in a tilt-a-whirl slam for two. There’s the top rope clothesline for two with Morely making the save, only to eat a jumping kick to the face. The chokeslam looks to set up the Five Star but Rob comes inside before jumping to the top. Morely shoves him off, which makes me think there was some mistiming there. The distraction lets the Dudleys hit a 3D on Storm….and an elbow on Van Dam so the champs can retain the titles.

Rating: D+. That’s certainly how you warm a crowd up. If ever there was a time for an easy title change to give the fans something to cheer for, it should have been this right here. When you consider how soon Kane and Van Dam would get the titles anyway, this really seems like a big head scratcher.

The opening video shows wrestlers getting ready with a collection of voiceovers talking about how important this one night really is. This treats the event with a lot more respect and it’s quite the effective idea. It shows that everyone is in awe of the event itself and makes it feel even bigger.

And now, the theme song Crack Addict. So much for the respect part.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Matt Hardy

Matt, defending here and accompanied by Shannon Moore, is appearing in his fourth Wrestlemania and often wonders how they did Wrestlemania without him. Mysterio is dressed like Daredevil, starting the awesome tradition of dressing like a superhero (most of the time) at Wrestlemania.

Matt is sent outside early on and Rey busts out a corkscrew dive to take both of them down. Rey can’t hit a sunset bomb to the floor so Matt drops him onto the barricade to take over. The Ricochet gets two as Tazz talks about Matt being off the banana juice and moving to tea. The Twist of Fate is countered into a rollup but Matt grabs the Side Effect for two. As Cole talks about loving latex and teabagging (seriously), Matt misses a charge into the post and Rey gets two off a crossbody.

Shannon breaks up the 619 though and now the Twist of Fate gets two. Splash Mountain is loaded up but Rey reverses with a hurricanrana for two more. Shannon makes the save so Rey takes him down before hitting the 619 on Matt. The West Coast Pop is broken up though and Matt grabs a rollup and the rope to retain.

Rating: C+. This was a good choice for an opener as you want something fast paced but don’t want to overstay your welcome. They were in and out in less than six minutes, which is pretty close to the sweet spot for an opener. Mysterio winning probably would have been the better option but at least he didn’t get the title a week later or something like that.

The Miller Lite Catfight Girls are here. I’m with Lance Storm: it’s nonsense that these two got time and the seven minute Tag Team Title match got stuck on Heat.

Nathan Jones was laid out earlier tonight.

Limp Bizkit plays Undertaker to the ring. Again, Tag Team Titles on Heat in a short match but time for this.

Undertaker vs. A-Train/Big Show

A-Train messes with Undertaker’s bike on the way to the ring. If I had a dollar for every time a hairy chested man with nipple piercings adjusted the mirror on my motorcycle….well I’d be poor as I don’t have a motorcycle but the rest happens more often than you would think. Show tries a sneak attack but gets sent to the floor so Undertaker can chokeslam A-Train for two.

Undertaker actually leapfrogs A-Train and drops him with Old School as they’re certainly moving in the early going. A Derailer cuts Undertaker off and Show posts him for good measure. It’s off to Show whose chokeslam is countered into a Fujiwara armbar. A-Train’s save is countered into a cross armbreaker so Show gets to make a save of his own. We hit an abdominal stretch as Cole wants to know if Undertaker’s stamina is going to hold up after such a long layoff due to injury. We’re four minutes into the match and Undertaker has been back from injury for almost TWO AND A HALF MONTHS Cole, you pathetic nitwit.

A-Train puts on an abdominal stretch of his own and Tazz shows how to do his job by suggesting things Undertaker should do to escape/relieve the pressure. I get that they have different jobs but at least Tazz is saying stuff that makes sense and doesn’t sound stupid. A-Train talks trash and throws some punches until Undertaker mostly misses the running DDT (he was barely touching A-Train).

Running corner clotheslines have the monsters in trouble until A-Train gets in the bicycle kick. Show hits his chokeslam but here’s Nathan Jones in the aisle to kick Show’s head off. A-Train takes a big boot from Jones (because the referee doesn’t understand disqualifications) and the Tombstone is enough for the pin.

Rating: C-. Actually not a bad power match here as I can buy the idea of Undertaker holding his own against these two for eight minutes, especially after he’s shown he can beat them both on his own. The fact that Jones couldn’t even be trusted to wait for people to run into his kicks is incredibly telling and pretty much spells the end of his career.

The Catfight Girls meet Stacy Keibler and Torrie Wilson, who are standing around looking at Torrie’s Playboy. As various gorgeous women just do. Stacy has a new marketing campaign idea for them and they all leave together.

We take a quick look at the Tag Team Title match from Heat. Add this to the stuff that could have been cut in exchange of just airing the match.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Victoria vs. Jazz

Victoria is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Jazz jumps the champ from behind to start fast and it’s already time for a modified Muta Lock on Trish. Trish gets knocked outside as Lawler thinks this should turn into a love triangle. Back in and Victoria hits her slingshot legdrop for two on Trish but has to powerslam Jazz for two.

It’s back to Trish as JR tries to figure out why King called her a quarter among pennies. A sitout powerslam gives Jazz two on Trish but it’s time for a fight with her fellow villain. Jazz kicks Victoria down but gets rolled up for two, followed by the Chick Kick for the same. Victoria gets sent outside, leaving Trish to get caught in the STF.

With Victoria distracting the referee, Richards breaks up the hold so Victoria and Trish can trade rollups (with Victoria’s tights being pulled rather low) for two each. Jazz gets knocked outside, leaving Richards to swing a chair but hit the top rope and knock it back into his own head. The Chick Kick to Victoria gives Trish the title back at 7:18.

Rating: C. Not bad at all here as they kept things tight and had everyone moving the entire time, including Richards with the chair to his own head. It made Trish look like the one who survived until the end, though at some point she’s going to have to beat Jazz. You can do that later though as this was all about getting her the title and I’d prefer her to pin the champ than the other challenger.

Rock doesn’t want to hear about the people because they’ve been booing him and calling him a sellout. It’s true that he’s a sellout because he sells out every Wrestlemania he’s in. Rock has lost to Austin twice at Wrestlemania but Hollywood has taught him that the third act is all that matters.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Chris Benoit/Rhyno vs. Team Angle

Team Angle is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. The challenging team both beat on a champ until it settles down to Chavo vs. Haas. A dropkick puts Charlie down and it’s off to Benoit, who runs into an armdrag from Guerrero. Eddie comes in with the slingshot hilo but they ram heads for a double knockdown.

Benoit brings Rhyno in to powerslam Eddie and it’s already off to Benjamin as they’re keeping the pace fast here. A double dropkick gets two on Rhyno but Haas gets taken into the Rhyno corner for a double stomping. Eddie stomps on Rhyno and gets taken into the same corner that Haas got caught in. Benoit catches Eddie on the top with a superplex for two as Benjamin makes the save.

That’s fine with Chris who throws Eddie into the air and pulls him down into the Crossface for a sweet move but Haas makes a save this time. Chavo and Haas come in and everything breaks down. The rolling German suplexes have Chavo in trouble but Benoit walks into a superkick from Benjamin. A legdrop gets two with Eddie dropping a frog splash for the save. Haas suplexes Chavo but turns into the Gore. Chavo eats one as well, only to have Benjamin steal the pin to retain the titles at 8:46.

Rating: B-. I don’t remember liking this one this much but they didn’t stop for the entire match. Benoit and Rhyno are still an odd choice for a tag team but it wouldn’t surprise me if they were setting up for Benoit and Edge in this spot before he got hurt. Team Angle needed this win and that’s the right call out of the three options.

Torrie and Stacy get in a fight over whether Vince or Hulk created Wrestlemania. The Catfight Girls do the same (though one of them keeps calling him Holgan) and agree to settle this in bed.

King is mesmerized.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho. Chris seems jealous that Shawn is back and getting attention. He’s wanted to be the next Shawn Michaels but now he wants to be the first Chris Jericho by defeating Shawn at Wrestlemania. This has been a long build but they’ve been smart to wait until here for the match. Shawn accepted the challenge with a superkick and telling Jericho that he would see him at Wrestlemania in a moment I always liked.

Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn tries to fire some confetti cannons on the way to the ring but some of them fail to go off, prompting an “eh what are you going to do” look. Jericho on the other hand just looks down at him in disdain in the perfect response. Some early armdrags frustrate Jericho so Shawn lounges on the top rope.

Back up and Shawn kicks him away without too much effort as they’re still firmly in first gear. Jericho is ready for a leapfrog and slaps Shawn in the face, earning himself a right hand to the jaw and a trip to the floor. Back in and Jericho scores with a spinwheel kick but a bulldog is countered with a good crotching. We hit a random Figure Four but Jericho reverses pretty quickly.

They head outside again with Shawn hitting a nice plancha, only to get caught in the Walls in the aisle. The bad back is sent into the post as Jericho has a big target to work with now. Back in and Jericho yells about how he’s better than Shawn as he stays on the back in a variety of ways. We hit the chinlock with a knee in the back before Shawn grabs a DDT to get him out of trouble.

Jericho nips up and hits the forearm into Shawn’s pose, which you just don’t do at Wrestlemania. Shawn makes his comeback (with two nipups of his own) and we hit the pinfall reversal sequence (as required by a classic like this) for a couple of twos each. Jericho is Lionsault for two more before countering a hurricanrana into the Walls. Shawn grabs the rope so Jericho elbows him in the jaw and tunes up the band.

Sweet Chin Music puts Shawn down for two and the fans seemed to buy that as the finish. Shawn teases the Walls but goes with a catapult into the post for two instead. It’s Jericho up first with a belly to back superplex but Shawn reverses into a crossbody in mid-air for yet another near fall.

The top rope elbow gets the same but the real Sweet Chin Music is countered into the Walls again. Just like last time, Shawn grabs the ropes though this time he follows up with more Chin Music for a very delayed two. Both guys are spent so Jericho grabs a belly to back suplex, only to have Shawn flip over and grab a rollup with his legs for the pin at 22:31.

Rating: A. Oh come on like this one needs an explanation. These two were both on fire here and just had an awesome match. It’s the match that made it clear Shawn had more than just a few performances in him as he felt a lot more like the older version here, which is exactly what the match needed to be. Jericho being able to do every athletic thing Shawn could do but not be able to outsmart him is a perfect story in a similar vein to Shawn vs. Shelton Benjamin a few years later. Great match here and one of the best Shawn had in his comeback.

They hug post match but Jericho kicks him low like the heel he is.

The evil referee from Montreal goes to see Vince.

The new attendance record is announced.

Limp Bizkit takes their sweet time performing Crack Addict.

Here are the Catfight Girls to fight on a bed set up on stage. Cue Stacy and Torrie to join in. Girls are stripped, pillows are swung and Coach is pantsed and pinned. Again, World Tag Team Titles not on the show but these girls get like four segments.

We recap HHH vs. Booker T. which focuses on Booker’s criminal past. That’s firmly established before the “someone like you doesn’t deserve to be World Champion” line is made. It’s a better way to go about it but there’s no good way to spin that statement. Basically Booker is fighting for his one big moment and HHH is defending because….well because it’s Wrestlemania and what else is he supposed to do?

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Booker T.

HHH is defending and comes out first for some reason. JR talks about Booker becoming a five time WCW Champion so King says that place was a joke. JR: “How long did you work there?” King: “Never.” JR: “Well I did.” King: “Was it a joke?” JR: “D*** right.” A hard lockup takes them into the corner where they trade chops and some right hands. Booker charges into a boot to the face and HHH goes up top, only to get armdragged down. You would think Flair would have taught him better but if Ric never learned, HHH didn’t need to either.

The announcers bicker over whether or not Booker was born on a pool table which turns into a discussion of Fink being drunk last night. Booker gets sent outside and goes into the steps as the pace slows a lot (yes, in a HHH match). A neckbreaker gets two on Booker and a spinebuster gets the same.

Booker slips out of a suplex and grabs a DDT for his first offense in a long time. The jumping knee and a facebuster cut Booker off but he comes back with a spinebuster. HHH goes up again for some reason and dives into a boot to the face. Seriously they never learn. The scissors kick only hits ropes and Booker falls out to the floor as he was getting dangerously close to beating up HHH and that must be stopped.

Flair sends Booker’s knee into the steps and it’s time for an Indian Deathlock back inside as we flash back to 1974. Back up and the knee is done but Booker grabs a sunset flip for a fast two. A jumping elbow to the jaw puts HHH down again and there’s the ax kick for no cover.

Flair’s distraction has no effect as Booker hits the Houston Hangover, which thankfully isn’t followed up on because the knee gives out again. They stagger to their feet with Booker’s knee preventing him from trying another ax kick. Instead it’s the Pedigree, the completely ridiculous 24 second wait, and then the pin with one hand over Booker’s chest to retain the title at 18:44.

Rating: C+. And there goes Booker’s main event career for the next few years. Aside from being a somewhat boring match, that ending is unforgivable. There’s no reason to not give Booker the title here, even if it’s just until Backlash. The leg stuff at the end was better but this was WAY too much HHH with Booker only having a few hope spots here and there. He didn’t even get the big two count at any point. This was all about HHH establishing that he is the one and only star on Raw no matter what and that’s a major problem. Booker needed this win, or at least anything other than a clean loss.

Long recap of Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon for the show’s real main event. Basically Vince suddenly decided that he hated Hogan for leaving the company ten years ago and testifying against him in the steroids trial so they had to have a fight. This was suddenly elevated to the biggest match of all time despite there not really being a clear reason why Vince started hating Hogan in the first place. If it was mentioned at the start, it was completely bogged down in all the mess that followed. This is at worst the second biggest match on the show and while not surprising, that’s probably not the best idea in the world.

Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon

Street fight and if Hogan loses, he has to retire. Hogan “spears” Vince down because that’s the kind of thing Hogan is known to do. Some slow motion (expect to hear that a lot in this one) right hands have Vince in trouble and Hulk stomps him in the corner. A clothesline gives Vince a breather and he throws those awkward punches. Now it’s off to an armbar because that’s what you want to see from these two in a street fight.

Hogan fights out of the test of strength but Vince is smart enough to kick him in the gut. That’s so effective that they do it three straight times before Vince sends him outside. Hogan gets posted but still manages to avoid a chair shot. Instead it’s Hulk chairing Vince in the head and of course we’ve got some blood (you knew that was coming and you know it’s coming from Hulk too).

More chair shots have Vince reeling, though not enough to knock him out, because Vince is more manly than your average wrestler. Another chair shot hits the Spanish announcer in the head because this match needed additional casualties. Vince low blows him and gets in his own chair shot to draw Hogan’s blood as this is already dragging. And now…..it’s ladder time, which certainly picks things up a bit.

A monitor shot to the head puts Hogan on the table and Vince climbs up, puts his hand to his ear, and drops a leg (which doesn’t hit Hogan but it’s a great visual nonetheless) to destroy the table and freak the crowd out all over again. Vince throws Hogan inside and grabs a pipe from underneath the ring. In the visual of the match, Vince very slowly raises his bloody head over the apron and gives the kind of evil smile that only he can pull off. It’s a great shot too and makes up for a lot of this match.

Hogan hits him low to put both guys down….and here’s Roddy Piper, looking so out of shape that he makes Hogan look great. Piper teases hitting both of them before knocking Hogan out with the pipe (Why this is considered a surprise is beyond me. They’re mortal enemies whose feud was the reason for the first Wrestlemania main event. Why was him attacking Hogan ever in doubt?).

That’s only good for two so Vince beats up the referee, drawing out the evil referee from earlier in the night, along with a regular referee. Vince pipes Hogan again, giving us that flopping around like a fish selling. It’s Hulk Up time with Hulk beating up both Vince and the evil referee. The big boot and three legdrops finish Vince at 20:48.

Rating: C-. I’ve seen this match several times and it’s actually grown on me a lot. The expectations were through the floor coming in and it’s a pretty fun old people brawl. It’s dumb, goofy fun and while it’s WAY too long (you could easily cut eight minutes if not more), it’s one of those matches where you knew what you were getting and that’s exactly what was delivered. Vince’s complete over the top visuals made it even better. It’s not good of course but it’s fun, which is a lot more important for something like this.

Hogan poses as Shane comes out to check on his father. We get a staredown but Hogan seems to understand that he doesn’t have any issues with Shane.

You can already hear Cole’s voice giving out.

We recap Steve Austin vs. The Rock. This is ALL about Rock as Austin is on fumes and it’s not exactly a secret. Basically Rock is ticked off about being booed last year in Toronto and turned into the most amazing heel in the world as a result. The only thing he has left to do in his career is beat Austin at Wrestlemania and this is probably his last chance. This gets the music video treatment but it can only get so far when one person is doing 90% of the work in the feud (not really a criticism of Austin but Rock was just on another planet at this point).

Steve Austin vs. The Rock

Writing that one never gets old. The camera follows Austin from behind in a pretty unique shot which works quite well. They stare each other down to start with Austin hitting the first right hands. The threat of a Stunner sends Rock bailing to the floor so Austin beats him over the announcers’ table and whips him into the steps.

Back in and Austin chokes a bit (that’s somewhat out of character) and gets two off a suplex. Rock gets in a chop block to get a breather with Austin bailing out to the floor. The kicks to the leg have Austin staggering around and Rock wraps the leg around the post. We hit the Sharpshooter with Austin fighting to the ropes as you can really feel the lack of fire in this one.

It’s intense but it’s clear that Austin doesn’t have that high gear anymore. The leg is wrapped around the post again and Rock grabs Austin’s vest. That’s too much for Austin so it’s some bad punches and a double clothesline for another breather. The Thesz press and middle finger elbow get two as Austin is getting some fire going.

A Rock Bottom gives Austin two but Rock comes back with a Stunner. Austin grabs the real thing for two more but Rock cuts him off with a low blow. The vest comes off and the People’s Elbow gets two. The Rock Bottom gets the same, followed by two more to FINALLY put Austin away at 17:55.

Rating: B+. I know there were outside circumstances (Austin spent the previous night in the hospital due to drinking too much alcohol and caffeine) but this would have felt so much bigger as the main event. It’s a very good match and feels big at times but when you have the history that these two have, nothing is going to live up to that standard.

Austin not being able to keep up with Rock was a great way to show that Rock was the better man that night and even with the fire not as hot as before, Austin is still worth seeing at any point. This is another one that’s grown on me and while it might not be as great, it felt important, which is what matters most here.

After thanking Austin for what happened (not audibly but he’s since said that’s what was he was doing), Rock leaves Austin for the big hero’s sendoff. This wasn’t billed as Austin’s farewell but it turned out to be his retirement match. It would have been a great way to close the show, but I get the idea of not wanting that to be the case if Austin couldn’t go. It’s a bit of a disappointment but at least he got the big moment.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle. Brock got cheated out of the title at Survivor Series and has gone on a path of destruction to get it back, including winning the Royal Rumble. Angle has used every possible way out of facing him but tonight he’s out of escapes and has nothing left to do but fight. The fact that his neck is being held together by paperclips and duct tape is just a detail because Angle has a low level of sanity. This feels like a major showdown, which is all you can ask for out of the main event of Wrestlemania.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar, with bad ribs, is challenging and can win the title via DQ or countout. Angle grabs a front facelock but Brock throws him off and we’re back to a standoff. Kurt’s headlock has about the same effect but he breaks up Brock’s armbar. Lesnar grabs a powerslam, only to get caught in the first German suplex. Brock pops right to his feet though, sending Angle bailing to the floor as they’re not laying into each other just yet.

Back in and a gorilla press (Tazz: “The vanilla gorilla!”) plants Angle, who cuts off a charge with a boot. A German suplex into the corner messes with the ribs again and it’s off to something like an STF from the side. Angle lets go of the legs and switches to something closer to a Bank Statement. Brock won’t tap so Angle suplexes him with ease. That earns him a spinebuster though, which Angle is crazy to take with such a bad neck.

Brock hits his own suplexes but Angle pops up and rolls some German suplexes of his own. Neither finisher can hit so Angle trips him into the ankle lock. Brock grabs the rope….which doesn’t count for no apparent reason. Instead Angle switches to a half crab, followed by a running knee to the back. Brock backdrops him to the floor, again because Angle is freaking nuts.

Back in and the Angle Slam gets two, which Cole says has never happened before. I find that very hard to believe. The F5 gets two more but Kurt gets the ankle lock with a grapevine. Brock manages to drag him over to the ropes for the break, followed by another F5. Instead of covering though, Brock heads up top.

In one of the scariest moments in wrestling history, Brock tries a shooting star press (apparently suggested by Johnny Ace) but leaves it short, landing square on his head and knocking himself completely silly. With his eyes glazed over, Brock hits a third F5 for the pin and the title at 21:09.

Rating: A-. This started off rather slowly but then picked up the pace to become one heck of a hard hitting fight. Angle did everything he could with all the suplexes and left it all in the ring in what might have been his last match. Lesnar did everything he needed to do (save for hitting that shooting star) and if he had nailed the finish, this would go up several notches. It’s a great finish and the kind of main event that Smackdown should have put on at this point. Excellent match.

Lesnar is GONE as he tries to pull himself up.

A long highlight package ends the show.

Overall Rating: A. The more I watch this show, the more I appreciate it. There’s nothing bad on the card with the worst match being either Undertaker vs. Big Show/A-Train or the street fight and even those are watchable. There’s also a great selection of top matches, though HHH vs. Booker leaves a lot to be desired. That being said, Jericho vs. Shawn, Rock vs. Austin and the main event are more than enough to make this a classic.

My main issue is still the same: the show could use a breather between all of the top matches. I could have gone for swapping in say the women’s triple threat or the Smackdown Tag Team Title match in between the street fight and Rock vs. Austin, just for the sake of a little breathing room. The way it’s done is more than fine though and it would only have been improved with a few tweaks.

Overall, it’s one of the best Wrestlemanias ever but I can’t put it above or really near the level of X7. There’s some great stuff here but it’s not enough to top everything that show has to offer. I could easily see this being the second best Wrestlemania of all time (it’s in the top three or four at the absolute worst) and that’s some pretty high levels of quality.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

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Wrestlemania XVII
Date: April 1, 2001
Location: Astrodome, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 67,925
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

Do I even need to explain this one? It’s one of the all time legendary classics if not THE all time legendary classic and maybe the greatest show in wrestling history. I’ve seen this show more times than I can count thanks to a VHS that a buddy of mine made for me of the original broadcast. As for the card, it’s Austin vs. Rock II and that’s all you need to know. Let’s get to it.

Sunday Night Heat: Grandmaster Sexay/Steve Blackman vs. X-Pac/Justin Credible

It’s so strange to hear these theme songs at this show. It feels like something that belongs in a video game only. Believe it or not there’s actually a bit of a setup for this as Sexay recruited Blackman to team with him earlier today because those feet could be great for dancing. X-Pac and Credible are part of X-Factor, and have Albert (A-Train/Prince Albert/whatever else you want to call him) in their corner.

The good guys clean house to start and X-Pac misses a Bronco Buster in the corner. Albert gets in a clothesline from the apron so X-Pac can take over, including stealing the goggles. Some right hands don’t get Grandmaster very far as X-Pac kicks him in the face. A double clothesline works a bit better and the hot (?) tag brings in Blackman. Everything breaks down and Albert pulls Grandmaster to the floor, leaving Blackman to take a double superkick for the pin at 2:45. It’s nothing to see of course but this was a perfectly nice tag match that did its job just fine.

The opening video is still one of the strangest things I’ve ever seen, with a bunch of clips of people watching Wrestlemania over the years, including a man in a barn with a trumpet, a farm couple outside their house, a man carrying hay, an Asian man on the streets of what appears to be a city in China, two teenagers watching through a TV store window, a twenty something couple in the backseat of a car and a clown. This is interspersed with what appears to be some kind of nuns dancing in a field. The one thing I always wonder: how do you get pay per view on these portable TVs with no apparent cables coming into them?

The stadium looks incredible with the wide shots showing just how massive the whole thing is. There’s something so cool about those visuals where you can see the tens of thousands of people. It’s the first stadium show since….geez 1992?

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. William Regal

Jericho, with a bad shoulder, is defending and has been tormenting Commissioner Regal for weeks due to Regal being an insufferable bore. This includes relieving himself in Regal’s teapot and dressing up like Doink for reasons that still aren’t clear (I’m sure Shawn Michaels is still mad about it too.). Regal responded by torturing Jericho with a series of handicap matches, setting up this showdown for revenge and the title. Notice that I can snap off those details without even seeing the highlight video while I could barely tell you how the main events of the last five Wrestlemanias were set up.

Jericho starts fast with a clothesline and spinwheel kick to send Regal outside as Heyman is in full on analysis mode. You can tell how excited he is to be here. Back in and a top rope back elbow gives Jericho two but Regal forearms his way out of the Walls attempt. Jericho’s bad shoulder goes into the post twice in a row and it’s time for some British limb punishment. An elbow to the face gives Jericho a breather but the Lionsault hits knees. The turnbuckle pad comes off and Regal sends the shoulder into the exposed steel so Jericho kicks him in the head.

A middle rope dropkick gets two but Regal goes right back to the shoulder. In something rather un-Regal, he takes Jericho up top for a butterfly superplex and another near fall. The Regal Stretch goes on until Jericho makes a rope. Right handed chops work a bit better for Jericho but a kick to the arm cuts him off again. The bulldog takes Regal down and the Lionsault out of nowhere retains the title at 7:08.

Rating: B-. This would have been a Kickoff match today so it’s a nice relief to have it actually get some attention rather than being background noise while the announcers previewed the more important stuff. These two beat the heck out of each other with Regal doing vile things to the shoulder. The ending came very suddenly but we got good stuff until we got there.

Shane McMahon arrives in the WCW-1 limo.

The APA and Jackie want to know where Tazz is, sending Bradshaw into an awesome speech about how important it is to be in the Astrodome because of all the sports traditions in the building and IT’S WRESTLEMANIA. I’ve always really liked this one.

APA/Tazz vs. Right to Censor

It’s Val Venis/Goodfather/Bull Buchanan for the RTC here and Tazz’s entrance cuts off Steven Richards’ rant. It’s a brawl to start with Jackie DDTing Richards until Tazz and Buchanan get things going. A big boot drops Tazz and it’s Venis coming in for two off a Russian legsweep. Goodfather gets a chance as well and whips Tazz into the ropes so hard that Tazz can’t even turn around in time.

The former Ho Train sets up a slow motion Vader Bomb with Tazz moving without much effort. It’s off to Bradshaw for a backdrop that barely gets Goodfather over and a better fall away slam to Venis. Everything breaks down and it’s the double spinebuster to Buchanan. A top rope belly to back superplex (with the cool looking ceiling making for an awesome visual) drops Venis, leaving Goodfather to miss the Ho Train so the Clothesline From Bradshaw can finish at 3:55.

Rating: D+. And that’s the worst match on the card. This could have been on Raw but it was a quick way to get the Texans on the card, which is hardly a bad idea. There was no reason for this to be any longer or any more evenly matches and for something like this, that’s all it needed to be. Sometimes you need a fun match instead of a long struggle and that’s what they had here.

Trish Stratus (currently Vince’s mistress) wheels in the catatonic Linda McMahon) but gets yelled at by Stephanie (in a much more compassionate way) for being late. Also, Trish needs to crack the ice for the champagne by hand.

Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Big Show vs. Kane

Raven, with a shopping cart full of toys, is defending so Heyman has some advice for him: “Run like h***.” Big Show comes out late so Raven this Kane with a plastic sign to no effect. Show (in his bad looking singlet phase) finally comes out so Kane throws Raven at him and comes off the top to the floor with the clothesline for two. They waste no time in fighting into the crowd and take their sweet time getting up to the stage (mainly because they’re in a freaking stadium) with Raven popping back up, only to be thrown partially through a wooden wall.

Show slams Kane onto a pile of wooden pallets and chases Raven into a caged storage area. The door is locked so Kane breaks it open and hits Show in the back with a broom. Raven chokes Kane with a garden hose but gets driven through the chain link wall. Kane isn’t finished and throws Raven through a glass window for a scary crash.

Not to be outdone, Show throws Kane through a regular door….so Kane shoves him through a wall. Raven pops in and grabs a golf cart, with Show jumping on the back for a crash (which according to Raven nearly knocked out the power to the entire building). Kane steals another golf cart and the referee hitches a ride, with Raven nearly being run over. This was supposed to start off some kind of a chase but for some reason it didn’t happen, probably time. Or Raven making the story up because he’s goofy like that.

They fight down the hallway and Raven goes through the drink table. That’s enough backstage as they head up some steps to the stage, with Kane winning a slugout with Show. A clothesline takes Kane down and Show gorilla presses Raven but they both get kicked off the stage and through part of the set. Kane drops an elbow/leg to pin Show for the title at 9:18.

Rating: C+. Completely different kind of match of course but I had a good time with it because they went with the full on goofy style instead of trying anything serious. The Hardcore Title was WAY past its usefulness at this point but at least they had some fun here. It didn’t need to be on the show, but would you rather watch another battle of the giants?

Kurt Angle obsessively watches footage of Chris Benoit making him tap out. Edge and Christian come in and say it’s going to be a big night for all three of them, though Angle only talks about how he didn’t officially tap.

Jimmy Snuka is at WWF New York. Cool enough.

An Australian fan is here. This was before the international feel really became a thing for Wrestlemania so this was a little different.

Rock arrives, forty minutes into the show. Are we really supposed to believe that people are just getting here after three matches? This has always bugged me for one reason or another.

European Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Test

Eddie is challenging and has Perry Saturn, in a big fuzzy hat, with him. Test starts with a layout powerbomb for an early two and a gorilla press drop sends Eddie face first onto the top turnbuckle. Eddie catches him on top but a super hurricanrana attempt is easily blocked with a simple grab of the rope. A top rope back elbow to the jaw (must be a Canadian thing) rocks Eddie but Test misses a charge….and gets his boot caught in the rope like a goon.

Thankfully Eddie is smart enough to distract the referee so Saturn can get in some right hands so Test doesn’t look incredibly stupid. The leg gets undone (with Eddie’s help) and Eddie starts in on the knee as he should be doing. With Heyman getting in the still annoying lines of “they’re the same size on the mat”, Eddie grabs a sleeper but gets taken down with a tilt-a-whirl slam. A tilt-a-whirl powerbomb gets two but Eddie kicks him low, allowing Saturn to come in with the Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza.

JR: “HEY REF! THERE’S A THIRD MAN IN THE RING!” There has been a third man in the ring for the whole match Jim. Saturn was the fourth. Anyway, Eddie has to roll through the frog splash and gets caught with the pumphandle powerslam. That’s good for two after Test dispatches Saturn, followed by a big boot that so clearly misses Saturn that you can hear the fans’ non-reaction. Another big boot drops Eddie so Dean Malenko can run in for the save (seemed like he missed his spot, possibly because the aisle is so long). Test goes after him and it’s a belt shot to give Eddie the pin and the title at 8:03.

Rating: C-. Another match that could have been on Raw but was perfectly watchable for the most part. Eddie getting the title makes a lot more sense as Test wasn’t exactly a thrilling choice, though they took care of him a bit with all the interference that it took to get the title off of him. Not a good match or anything, but it’s not like it was anything atrocious.

Mick Foley promises to call the Vince vs. Shane street fight right down the line. Right here in Houston, Texas!

Austin arrives.

Ok so for those of you unfamiliar with this show, it might not have seemed great so far. The real show starts now.

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

This has kind of an infamous build as they’re fighting because neither of them had anything else to do, as mentioned on Raw. In other words, “go out there and do your awesome stuff”. Angle insults the fans on the way to the ring, insisting that he has NEVER tapped out to Benoit. Oh and adults wearing cowboy hats look stupid. Amen brother. Heyman: “This is as excited as a man can get with his clothes on.” Thankfully the match starts so I can get that image out of my head.

Angle takes him down to start but Benoit gets on top before rolling away for a standoff, much to the fans’ appreciation. They go to the mat again with Angle trying to get to the leg but rolling into the ropes instead. The threat of a Crossface sends Angle bailing to the floor as it’s an even match so far. Back in and Angle takes him down again but the Crossface sends him straight back to the rope.

That’s enough for Angle, who forearms Benoit in the face and it’s time for a fight on the floor. Makes sense and that’s a great way to make Benoit look awesome. A very hard whip sends Benoit into the steps and a suplex gets two back inside. Since he’s rather good at analysis, Heyman points out that Angle is now cool with a pin instead of a submission, which is a bit of a concession to Benoit.

Angle snaps off some overhead belly to belly suplexes but eats a clothesline as JR and Heyman argue over the best amateur wrestlers ever. A snap suplex gives Benoit two and a superplex gets a delayed version of the same. You know Benoit can’t just two suplexes so we hit the rolling German suplexes, only to have the third reversed into the ankle lock (BIG reaction for that). Benoit reverses that into an ankle lock of his own so Angle kicks him in the head.

Now the Crossface goes on but Angle rolls into his own Crossface. After a foot on the rope is good for the save, Benoit grabs his own Crossface to make Angle tap but there’s no one to see it. The Angle Slam gets two and Kurt can’t believe it. Angle’s moonsault hits knees so Benoit connects with the Swan Dive for two more. You can feel the energy from the crowd on these near falls. Back up and Angle gets in a low blow, setting up a rollup with tights to pin Benoit at 14:04.

Rating: B+. That would be the first show stealing classic of the night with a sweet story of Angle wanting to prove that he’s the better wrestler but resulting to cheating while still being able to brag about the win. That’s also the kind of ending that can keep a feud going, which I guess I can survive if I absolutely have to. Great match, yet somehow not even close to their best.

William Regal goes into his office and finds Kamala, rubbing a picture of Queen Elizabeth on his stomach. I think this speaks for itself.

Clip of the Wrestlemania pep rally in Fort Hood, with various wrestlers getting plaques (Lita looks completely miserable), though Angle would rather have a medal. There was a parade and the boss got a WWF chair.

Angle insists that he was the better man tonight. Benoit comes in to make him tap again.

We recap Chyna vs. Ivory. The Right to Censor wasn’t happy with Chyna posing for Playboy and tried to censor her, which included a spike piledriver to hurt Chyna’s neck. Chyna came back but got hurt again, only to come back again and come for the title here.

Women’s Title: Chyna vs. Ivory

Chyna is defending and fires off a pyro gun from the stage for a cool entrance. Ivory gets in a belt shot to knock Chyna down and rains down forearms but a kick to the ribs is blocked and that’s about it. The champ gets thrown across the ring like she’s nothing and Chyna unloads in the corner. Some hard clotheslines (JR: “I guess we could call that a Chyna Line. Or maybe not.”) and a powerbomb have Ivory out cold but Chyna pulls her up at two. A gorilla press drop finishes Ivory instead, giving Chyna the title at 2:38. That’s exactly what this should have been and nothing more. Chyna would leave the company before losing the title.

Trish ensures Vince that she has doubled up Linda’s medication and will only bring her down when Shane is at his most vulnerable. Michael Cole, still the annoying interviewer, comes in and asks about the shocking development of Shane buying WCW. Vince: “You want shocking? Tonight, you’ll get shocking.” That’s a guarantee.

We recap Vince vs. Shane and egads there’s a lot to this one. So Vince was having a public affair with Trish and said that he wanted to divorce Linda, who had a nervous breakdown as a result. Vince put her in an institution and had her heavily medicated, basically leaving her as a vegetable (make your own jokes). Shane came back to stand up for his mom but Vince had him beaten down, getting in a great line with “I will never ever forgive your mother for giving birth to you”.

A street fight was set up with former Commissioner Mick Foley (as fired by Vince) pulling out a contract that he signed before being fired saying that he could referee the match. Then Shane bought WCW on Monday, making this the first battle in what should have been a years long promotional war. Got all that?

Shane McMahon vs. Vince McMahon

Street fight as required with Mick Foley refereeing. Shane comes out first and introduces the WCW stars in the skybox (Lance Storm, Stacy Keibler, Shawn Stasiak and Chavo Guerrero are visual). Apparently they were scheduled to do a run-in during the match but Stasiak spoiled the plans in an interview so this is all you get of them. Stephanie in a Daddy’s Girl jumpsuit, is here with Vince.

A slap to Shane’s face gets us going, even though Foley didn’t call for the bell. Vince chokes in the corner but Shane nails a clothesline and something close to a spear. Some elbows to the back draw Stephanie in for the save, plus a slap to Shane. Shane is smart enough to baseball slide Vince and hammer away instead of going after her, plus nailing a few shots to the back with a KEEP OFF sign. A clothesline from the barricade has Vince in trouble and Stephanie begging him to get up.

Shane hits him in the back with a kendo stick and follows with the punches, which look a lot better when Shane isn’t middle aged. A monitor to Vince’s head knocks him silly and Shane loads up the elbow off the top. One great looking dive and a Stephanie pull later leaves Shane crashing in a good landing. That’s enough for Trish to wheel Linda down, just as Vince instructed. Trish helps Vince up and then slaps him in the face, triggering the catfight with Stephanie (with the fans eating this up with a spoon).

Foley tries to break it up (like a gentleman….I think) so Stephanie slaps him too. Trish chases Stephanie up the aisle, with Stephanie doing the most overblown fall I can remember, with her arms flying into the air before she starts going down. She can’t look natural no matter what she does. The two of them leave and we cut back to Vince getting up and calling Linda a b****. Foley breaks that up so Vince chairs him down and puts Linda in the ring, sitting her in a chair in the corner.

Vince isn’t done and throws Shane inside, followed by a bunch of garbage cans. Some can shots to the head have the still near dead Shane in even more trouble. Vince loads up another shot…..and Linda stands up. The place actually goes nuts and the fans are literally on their feet, which you almost never see in wrestling. Shane points behind Vince, who turns around and gets kicked low. Foley comes back in and unloads on Vince, setting up the debut of Coast to Coast to give Shane the pin at 14:23.

Rating: C+. I’ve seen this show literally 100 or so times and I still smile at Linda kicking Vince. This was about five stories all coming together in the soap opera story of the show. It works really, really well with Linda of all people getting a crazy reaction. When the McMahons are on their game, they’re some of the most entertaining people in wrestling and that was the case here. It’s nothing from a quality standpoint, but from a soap opera car crash perspective, this was a blast and incredibly fun.

Yesterday at Axxess (which is rather dark and looks like nothing you would see today), the Hardys talked about how their feud with the Dudleys and Edge and Christian has to end with TLC II because it’s the most dangerous match in wrestling.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Edge and Christian

The Dudleys are defending and it’s TLC II. I would recap the story, but it’s more or less “let them go nuts”. The entrances take some time and it’s a rare instance where you just know this is going to be incredible. Both sets of Boyz waste no time in jumping the Canadians as the fight is on in a hurry. Edge and Christian are sent outside, leaving the Hardys to take over with a double Poetry in Motion.

Not wanting to waste time, Edge and Christian bring in a ladder to drop everyone. Just to make it a little personal, they also stand on Matt’s crotch in the corner. Jeff gets drop toeholded face first into an open chair but it’s way too early for Edge to climb the ladder. A clothesline takes Matt off the ladder (which falls as well), leaving Jeff to dropkick Edge down as well. The Hardys set up a pair of ladders and drop Christian, setting up a legdrop/splash combination off said ladders for the first high spot.

The Dudleys come back in for What’s Up on Edge and let’s get some tables. Bubba powerbombs Jeff through Edge through a table and it’s time to set up four tables (two on top of two) outside. There’s no way that’s going to end well. Back in and Bubba SMACKS Matt in the head with a ladder, drawing a well deserved gasp from the crowd.

Three ladders are set up and all six climb, with Christian and Matt falling to one side (Christian just vanishes over the top and down onto the floor in an underrated bump), Jeff and D-Von falling to the other (and hitting the ropes) and Bubba and Edge knocking each other off to fall backwards. With all six down and one ladder left, here’s Spike Dudley (returning from injury) for a Dudley Dog to Edge off said ladder. Another one off the apron sends Christian through a table at ringside but here’s Rhyno (also taken out recently) to stop Jeff from going up.

Back to back Gores put Bubba and Matt down and Rhyno points Edge up a ladder. Now it’s Lita (Gored by Rhyno last week) coming in and “jerking Edge off” according to JR to bring him down from a ladder. There’s a hurricanrana to Rhyno and Spike chairs him into a ladder to knock Edge off. A Doomsday Device hits Rhyno and Lita cracks Spike in the head with a chair. Lita takes her top off but walks into the 3D, leaving Edge and Christian to chair the Dudleys down.

Edge sends Christian outside to get the big ladder, but you can’t have one of those with Jeff around. Jeff takes out Christian and climbs up the ladder (which is standing on the floor and equally as tall as the ones in the ring) for a huge Swanton onto Spike and Rhyno through a pair of tables. Well actually entirely through Spike as Rhyno was just grazed and his table didn’t even break. Edge brings the big ladder in and sets it up in front of three regular sized ladders.

Christian and D-Von go up the big one but Matt (“HERE WE GO!”) moves it from underneath them, leaving them hanging from the ring. They both fall so Jeff climbs up onto the regular ladders and tries to walk a tightrope to get to the titles but one of the ladders comes down. Instead he climbs a regular ladder and grabs the belt but Bubba takes the ladder away, leaving Edge to climb the big ladder for the highlight reel spear that made him look like even more of a star than he already did.

Two things about that spot: first of all, Jeff’s feet were caught in the ladder that Bubba moved so he swung forward into the spear to make it look even better. Second: a fan asked Edge if he was scared doing that in rehearsal. Edge: “YOU THINK WE DID THAT MORE THAN ONCE???”

As soon as we’re done with the replay, Rhyno shoves Bubba and Matt off the big ladder and through the four tables at ringside for the amazing crash. D-Von and Christian go up this time but Edge grabs D-Von and Rhyno gives Christian a boost to pull down the titles at 15:42. Edge and Christian clutching the titles and looking shell shocked is a great bonus.

Rating: A+. This was magnificent and it really does amaze me how structured they make this feel. They built things up over the course of this match with the fighting to start and then a few big spots, followed by the interference and then the sequence of show stealing spots (Jeff’s Swanton, the spear and the huge crash) to wrap it up. They managed to tell a story with what should just be a car crash match and that’s one of the most impressive things about this whole series. This is incredible and the best team ladder match ever, bar absolutely none.

Video on Axxess. This video was a big reason that I wanted to go to Wrestlemania, though this version looks WAY more fun than what you actually get, mainly due to the crazy long lines.

Heyman applauds TLC II. As he should.

Howard Finkel announces the new attendance record of 67,925.

Gimmick Battle Royal

Luke, Butch, Duke Droese, Iron Sheik, Earthquake, The Goon, Doink the Clown, Kamala, Kim Chee, Repo Man, Jim Cornette, Nikolai Volkoff, Michael Hayes, One Man Gang, Tugboat, Hillbilly Jim, Brother Love, Sgt. Slaughter

Gene Okerlund and Bobby Heenan are out for commentary, which is suddenly a lot sadder. If nothing else, it’s so satisfying to hear Heenan’s healthy voice before the cancer took away its greatness. This is one of the first nostalgia matches the company did n this kind of a stage and my goodness it still feels amazing. It also comes at the right time on the show as they needed to take a little breather after what we just saw.

Doink gets a nice reaction while Hillbilly Jim (who looks like he hasn’t aged a day) gets a VERY nice reaction, mainly because it’s such a fun gimmick. Hayes gets a big reaction, both from the fans and Heenan. Gang was supposed to be Akeem but couldn’t fit in the costume. Gene sounds like he has a nightmare about the Gooker, and yes we get the video of his debut. Repo Man is thrown out almost immediately and the Gooker is out second. Heenan: “This looks like a riot at Let’s Make A Deal!”

Tugboat is tossed as well and Kamala tosses Earthquake, who Gene almost calls by his real name. Kamala eliminates Kim Chee (what loyalty) and Luke is out next. Cornette is out (he and Love had agreed to stay in the corner and lightly hit each other but kept messing up and wound up injuring each other in mistakes straight out of the Three Stooges) and Droese follows him as you might be able to tell that this isn’t about the actual wrestling.

Goon and Volkoff go out next and Doink eliminates Butch. Kamala tosses Doink (and gets booed out of the building), with Hayes, Gang and Kamala going out as well. We’re down to Love, Sheik, Hillbilly and Slaughter but before I can even write those names, Sheik dumps Hillbilly to win at 3:05, mainly because he was too frail to be tossed out.

Rating: A. Consider the reason for the match and you’ll get why the rating makes sense. The match itself lasted just over three minutes while the entrances took 10:28. The entire point of this was to let these guys have one last entrance on the big stage and give the fans a nostalgia trip, which worked perfectly well. I had a good time here and it’s great way to let things lighten up a bit before we get to the last two matches.

Post match Slaughter comes in and gives Sheik the Cobra Clutch to stand tall one more time.

We recap Undertaker vs. HHH. After beating Austin two straight falls at No Way Out, HHH said he had beaten everyone there was to beat. Undertaker came out and said HHH had never beaten him. HHH jumped Undertaker and choked him with a chair (HHH: “You’re the guy that makes people famous. I’m already famous. I’m famous for crippling people.”) so Undertaker beat up his limo with a pipe.

HHH came back with a restraining order keeping Undertaker from Stephanie, so Undertaker had Kane kidnap Stephanie and threaten to throw her off a balcony until the match was made. Not yet done, HHH even destroyed Undertaker’s motorcycle with a sledgehammer. You can feel the hatred here and that’s the kind of video where WWE excels.

HHH vs. Undertaker

Motorhead plays HHH to the ring in one of the all time great entrances, especially with a wide shot of the entrance and a shadowed HHH stepping out and posing to show just how grand the stage really is. Undertaker rides the motorcycle down the long ramp with more speed than you’ll ever see on a wrestling show for a nowhere near as cool (yet still cool) visual. Oh and as a Network bonus: Rollin is still used as the theme rather than the bizarre times where they dub in the Ministry theme.

The fight is on in a hurry on the floor and HHH is knocked through the makeshift Spanish announcers’ table. They get in for the opening bell, with JR mentioning Undertaker being 8-0 at Wrestlemania. The fact that we weren’t even halfway to the first loss is really incredible and makes the already other worldly Streak all the more impressive. A big backdrop has HHH in trouble and a running clothesline in the corner rocks him again. There’s a running powerslam (which I don’t ever remember Undertaker using otherwise) but an elbow misses.

Old School (Is it Old School all the way back in 2001?) is broken up with a pull off the top, which is fair enough as Undertaker was just standing there. HHH elbows him in the back of the head and gets in another to the chest, setting up a neckbreaker for three straight two’s. The yelling at the referee lets Undertaker fire off the punches to the ribs but walks into the facebuster. The sledgehammer is brought in but the referee takes it away. Undertaker has to counter the Pedigree and the referee gets bumped in the corner.

A chokeslam gives HHH two and he’s not happy with the slow count, meaning it’s a beatdown on the referee. Well a kick and elbow drop to the back but for a referee that’s a heck of a beating. Undertaker throws HHH over the corner and takes it outside with HHH being backdropped over the barricade. They fight up to the technical area with Undertaker hammering away and tossing HHH up to a higher level.

HHH finds a chair though and destroys Undertaker with about nine shots about the head and knee. Too much posing takes too much time though and Undertaker is back up with a chokeslam off the tower for an awesome visual (I miss flashbulbs in wrestling). Undertaker isn’t done though as he climbs onto the barricade and drops a very big elbow onto HHH (revealing that he landed on a crash pad, taking away a lot of the impressiveness).

The medics get beaten up and they head back to the ring, where the referee is still down, about seven minutes after he was kicked and elbowed. Back in the ring and Undertaker grabs the sledgehammer but gets low blowed to save HHH’s life. Undertaker kicks the hammer out of HHH’s hands and the slugout is on. HHH tries a Tombstone but gets reversed into the real thing for no count, because the referee hasn’t moved in TEN MINUTES.

Undertaker finally goes over and shakes him before calling for the Last Ride. It’s not well placed though as HHH grabs the hammer and nails Undertaker in the head to counter….for two, in a great near fall (these two are great at those). Undertaker is busted open so HHH hammers away in the corner and it’s the Last Ride (I believe the debut of that counter so it’s not even a cliché yet) for the pin at 18:19.

Rating: A. Sweet goodness I love this match as they beat the heck out of each other because they wanted revenge. That’s how you do a match like this and there was nothing overly cowardly from HHH for a change. They were testing each other throughout the match and that made for a heck of a fight, which is all you could ask for. Well that and some better medical care for the referee. This one holds up very, very well and I like it better than their second Wrestlemania match at XXVII. Check this one out if you haven’t seen it in a long time, or even if you have because it’s that good.

And in case we haven’t had enough greatness on this show, there’s this left.

We recap Steve Austin vs. the Rock with the legendary My Way video. Austin was out for about a year with neck surgery and Rock became the biggest star in the world in his absence. Austin is back and won the Royal Rumble, with Rock winning the WWF Title the next month to set up the showdown of showdowns.

This turned into a game of oneupsmanship with the two of them using their own moves against each other and beating the heck out of each other over and over. You knew this was going to be special because the energy was right there in front of your eyes. The final exchange is perfect too. Rock: “You are going to get the absolute best of the Rock at Wrestlemania.” Austin: “I need to beat you Rock. I need it more than anything that you can ever imagine. There can be only one World Wrestling Federation Champion, and that will be Rock, Stone Cold Steve Austin.” Do you need anything else?

Well you certainly didn’t need the ridiculous Debra involvement (Austin’s wife, who Vince had managing the Rock), which thankfully isn’t brought up or referenced in any significant way outside of the video because it was a bad idea that didn’t help anything. It would have dragged things down, and thankfully it’s just not here.

WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. The Rock

Austin is challenging and it’s No DQ, announced just before the entrances. Austin’s entrance still gives me chills as it’s one of the best of all time as he’s reached a level of popularity in Texas (or anywhere for that matter) that is unmatched anywhere. Throw in JR’s incredible commentary (as only he could do) and a camera shot of Austin walking up to the second rope for the pose with all the flashbulbs going off and the camera zooming out to show all the people) and it’s hard to ever top. Rock….isn’t that popular here, but you had to know that was coming.

Austin’s “are you kidding me” look up at Rock as he poses is great and the fight is on as soon as Rock comes down. An early belt shot misses Rock so it’s the Thesz press and middle finger elbow as they start fast. Rock grabs a swinging neckbreaker but it’s too early for the Rock Bottom. The Stunner can’t hit for either of them so Austin throws him over the top rope as we’re not even a minute in yet. They head into the crowd with Rock getting the better of it and bringing it back to ringside. A clothesline takes Rock down but Austin has to adjust his knee brace.

The running crotch attack to the back gets two and a superplex keeps Rock in trouble. The turnbuckle pad is taken off but Rock nails a clothesline and they fight outside again. Austin gets sent into the ring bell but comes right back up with a bell shot for a knockdown. The bloody Rock is sent through the announcers’ table (a running theme tonight) and it’s back inside for more right hands. Rock’s comeback is booed so Austin gets in his own swinging neckbreaker to get the fans back, plus a two count as a bonus.

Stomping and choking in the corner has Rock in even more trouble but Austin stops to yell at the referee, allowing Rock to charge out of the corner with the hard clothesline. There’s a middle finger to Austin and he goes face first into the buckle. Instead of covering, Rock brings in the bell and clocks Austin (more booing) to bust him open for two. Right hands knock Austin outside but he drops Rock onto the barricade.

The catapult sends Rock into the post for that always awesome bump where he spins sideways. A monitor to the head gives Austin two but the Stunner is countered into the Sharpshooter for a Wrestlemania XIII callback. The hold is finally broken, though Austin comes up holding his knee. A rake to the eyes gets Austin out of a second attempt and he slaps on a Sharpshooter of his own.

Rock powers out as well so Austin puts it on again (makes sense) but a rope is grabbed. It’s not clear why Austin lets go, or why the referee makes him let go, but that’s been a problem for years. With nothing else working, Austin slaps on the Million Dollar Dream. Rock climbs the rope and flips back into a cradle for two, forcing the break in a callback to Survivor Series 1996. Rock’s Stunner drops Austin for a very delayed near fall…and here’s Vince McMahon.

Austin’s whip spinebuster gives him two more and frustration sets in even deeper. Rock gets a spinebuster of his own and there’s the People’s Elbow but Vince breaks up the cover. Shockingly enough Rock isn’t happy and chases the rather spry Vince, right into a Rock Bottom from Austin for two more. The ref gets bumped (not sure why it’s necessary in a No DQ match) and Austin hits Rock low. Austin tells Vince to bring in a chair and the boss gets in a shot to Rock’s head, with Vince throwing the referee in for the two count.

A quick Rock Bottom gets Rock a breather but he has to drag Vince inside instead of covering. Another Stunner gets another two so Vince hands him a chair for a heck of a shot to the head. That’s another two and the fans are cheering for the kickouts. Austin has had it and DESTROYS Rock with an insane sixteen straight chair shots for the pin and the title at 28:06 to a monster pop.

Rating: A+. It’s Austin vs. the Rock on the biggest stage imaginable. What else could you ask for from something like this? As Meltzer said, if they could have been in AT&T Stadium with 100,000 people, they would have sold that out too. This is the definition of the main event and an all time major match and the two huge stars delivered. It’s everything of an awesome fight mixed with great drama and the work living up to the hype. I can’t praise it enough and yes it more than holds up.

Post match Vince and Austin shake hands, officially ending the Attitude Era. Of note: Vince told Austin before the match that if he wasn’t feeling it, he could Stun Vince and they would figure it out the next day. That’s some incredible control to give a wrestler but Austin didn’t go with it. He did however say this was a bad idea in retrospect. Austin and Vince share a beer over Rock’s body and it’s one more belt shot to Rock to wrap things up as JR wants answers.

The long highlight package ends the show with My Way playing us out. Oh and one more thing. The song talks about how someone wants one more fight and then he’ll do things someone’s way. So, after three years, Vince could say to Austin that’s finally doing things…..“my way.” If that’s what they were going for, I need to buy a hat and take it off for them because that’s outstanding.

Overall Rating: A+. As Bradshaw said in his speech: “It’s Wrestlemania.” Throw in a XVII and you really don’t need to say much else about this show. There’s a reason it’s so revered, with the incredible combination of TLC II and Austin Rock II, somehow leaving instant classics like Benoit vs. Angle and Undertaker HHH as distant thirds and fourths. It’s pretty easily the best show ever with the energy off the charts, a can’t miss cards and the historic ending. I mean…it’s X7. I think that sums it up as well as anything else I can say so stop reading this and go watch it again.

Ratings Comparison

Chris Jericho vs. William Regal

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B-

2019 Redo: B-

Right to Censor vs. Tazz/A.P.A.

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

2019 Redo: D+

Raven vs. Kane vs. Big Show

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: C+

2019 Redo: C+

Eddie Guerrero vs. Test

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

2019 Redo: C-

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: A-

2019 Redo: B+

Chyna vs. Ivory

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

2019 Redo: N/A

Vince McMahon vs. Shane McMahon

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: C+

2019 Redo: C+

Edge and Christian vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

2019 Redo: A+

Gimmick Battle Royal

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: A

2019 Redo: A

Undertaker vs. HHH

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A

2015 Redo: A

2019 Redo: A

Steve Austin vs. The Rock

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

2019 Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A++

2015 Redo: A+

2019 Redo: A+

I think I’m done with this one as the ratings are barely changing every time.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/24/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-17-oh-yes/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/26/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xvii-the-greatest-show-of-all-time/

And the 2015 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xvii-2015-redo-see-the-previous-comment/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XVI
Date: April 2, 2000
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 19,776
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This was one of the shows that tied for the most votes for a redo but I’ve seen Wrestlemania X, the other option, more times than I really need to and this sounded more interesting. It’s kind of an infamous Wrestlemania as there are no singles matches on the entire show but it is the biggest show of the year in the best year WWE has ever seen. Let’s get to it.

Lilian Garcia sings the Star Spangled Banner. Sweet goodness she can knock that out of the park.

The opening video is a quick “hey it’s Wrestlemania” before looking at the four way main event with a McMahon in each corner. That’s all that really matters here, but it’s quite the big deal.

Godfather/D’Lo Brown vs. Big Boss Man/Bull Buchanan

Ice T. raps Godfather and Brown to the floor with an original song, including telling the fans to “GRAB YOUR B******!” Brown slugs away at Buchanan to start and it’s off to Godfather in a hurry. That means a slam into the spinning legdrop, only to miss the big elbow (which would have missed by three feet anyway). Boss Man comes in and the fans aren’t pleased, mainly because this is their opener.

It’s back to Buchanan, who hits that perfect top rope spinning clothesline so Boss Man can come in for the running crotch attack to the back. A big boot into the ax kick gets two as Lawler can’t help but freak out over Godfather’s ladies. Buchanan whips Brown into the steps and it’s back inside for the bearhug.

The fans get on Boss Man again as Brown fights out, only to get caught with a backbreaker as JR makes XFL references. Buchanan goes up so Godfather shakes the rope for the crotching. A hurricanrana allows the hot tag to Godfather and there’s the Ho Train to Boss Man. Everything breaks down and it’s a Boss Man Slam to Brown, followed by the great looking guillotine legdrop for the pin at 9:05.

Rating: D+. What a completely bizarre opener. This would have been a filler match on any given episode of Raw and it’s the first thing you see on Wrestlemania? With the heels winning? It’s a really weird choice here and serves no major purpose, so why go this way? The crowd was surprised and a bit deflated, which is a rather stupid choice to open the show. Totally weird one here.

HHH and Stephanie, the Women’s Champion, are rather chill before the huge main event.

We see Crash handing over the Hardcore Title so it can be defended in the Hardcore Battle Royal.

Hardcore Title: Hardcore Battle Royal

Crash, Tazz, Viscera, Joey Abs, Rodney, Pete Gas, Hardcore Holly, Taka Michinoku, Funaki, Mosh, Thrasher, Faarooq, Bradshaw

Crash is defending and this is a big free for all with falls counting anywhere. Whoever gets the final fall leaves as champion, with no limit on the title changes allowed. It’s a brawl to start and Tazz suplexes Crash for the pin at 24 seconds. Viscera grabs Tazz for a posting and a World’s Strongest Slam gives him the title at 56 seconds.

A bunch of people brawl around the ring but another bunch go after Viscera. The Acolytes can’t put him down, though Hardcore can bust Crash open with a shot to the head. The weapons shots continue with no one getting any serious advantage until Hardcore hits Viscera with a cookie sheet for two. More violence ensues as we hit five minutes, though Viscera is starting to slow down.

Back in and Viscera hits various people with the cookie sheet….before going up top. The Acolytes slam him down and Faarooq breaks a 2×4 over his back. A top rope shoulder drops Viscera and the Acolytes put Kai En Tai on top so….Funaki can win the title with 7:37 to go. Taka immediately turns on Funaki, who sprints to the back in a smart move indeed. The Mean Street Posse catches him in the back and Rodney whips Funaki into a barricade to win the title with 6:51 to go.

Abs suplexes him for the title at 6:37 to go but gets sent into a door so Thrasher can pin him with 6:18 to go. Back in the arena and the bloody Pete Gas sprays Thrasher with a fire extinguisher for the title with 5:32 to go. They go back to ringside and Tazz suplexes Pete for the title with 4:44 to go. In the confusion, Tazz even rolls Thrasher up for one, with the referee counting out of insanity. The Hollys double team Tazz inside until he trashcan lids his way to freedom, including a shot to Crash’s head for two.

We have two minutes left as the Hollys fight over who gets to pin Tazz, as you might have seen coming. Hardcore’s dropkick gets two with a minute left but he gets suplexed out, leaving him alone in the ring. Crash comes back in for a cookie sheet shot for the title at 37 seconds left.

Tazz grabs the Tazmission but Hardcore busts a jar of candy over Tazz’s head for the pin and the title at 1 second left to win the thing at 15:00. That was a botched ending as the referee stopped counting at 2 because Hardcore came in too early and shouldn’t have gotten the pin. Also, allegedly, Tazz was supposed to get a run as Intercontinental Champion (possibly in the role that went to Chris Benoit) but the glass got in his eye and he was out of action for a few months as a result.

Rating: C-. I’m not sure what to say about this one, but the biggest problem is it goes on a bit too long. Cut this down to ten minutes and it’s better, as what they have loses its charm a bit near the end. The ending being botched didn’t help things either and there is no big moment that makes you chuckle. It’s not a disaster or anything, but it’s nothing memorable either.

We look at Axxess, which was still a new thing back then. Chris Jericho thinks everyone is here to him, and he might be right. It’s so weird seeing it still be what looks to be a smaller function, compared to the insanity that it is today. This goes on for a good while, likely to clean up the arena.

We look at the battle royal ending again, because it was that much of a mess.

Al Snow talks to someone in a bathroom stall because he has some idea. Steve Blackman comes in and tells him to be serious.

We cut to a closeup of Trish Stratus’ chest, just in case you thought the next match meant a thing.

Al Snow/Steve Blackman vs. T&A

Hold on though as Snow, who has dubbed his team Head Cheese, brings out……CHESTER MCCHEESETON, a man in a cheese suit, as a mascot. Blackman slides between Test’s legs to start as JR’s microphone has gone out, much to Lawler’s delight. Snow comes in and gets kicked in the face in the corner as Lawler isn’t even trying to do play by play (makes sense).

An enziguri takes Albert down so it’s back to Blackman, who gets shouldered down. Everything breaks down in a hurry and Test gets sent outside. That leaves Albert to get suplexed and Snow slowly hammers away as the match somehow grinds to more of a halt. Blackman’s middle rope headbutt gets two as Chester starts hitting on Trish. Lawler: “It’s like Chester the Molester.”

Albert knocks Blackman away and brings in Test to pick up the pace in a weird near hot tag from the heels. A powerbomb gets two on Snow because this needs to keep going, including the bowling shoe line from JR. Snow is back up with a backbreaker/guillotine legdrop combination for two on Test. Albert gorilla presses Test onto Blackman for two with Snow making the save. He gets knocked down, leaving Blackman to get press slammed again, setting up Test’s top rope elbow for the pin at 7:00.

Rating: F. Other than Trish, this is one of the most irredeemable matches I’ve seen in years. There was no heat, there was no good action and there was no reason to keep this going. I’m not sure what the thinking was going into this but it was a disaster in every sense of the word. This is up there with some of the worst Wrestlemania matches ever and the only reason it’s not higher is the stakes are so low.

Post match, Snow and Blackman beat up Chester because the loss was his fault. Somehow, this made things even worse, if that’s possible.

Kat is in the back with Mae Young and we get an Austin Powers style gag with Mae holding up various objects at rather opportune times to cover various things.

The Dudley Boyz aren’t happy with being in a ladder match but they’re ready to walk out as champions. This is when Bubba still had the southern accent and it’s bizarre to see these days.

Tag Team Titles: Edge and Christian vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz

The Dudleys are defending in the first ever triangle ladder match. There isn’t exactly a story here, because that would be missing the point in a match like this. Edge and Christian jump the Hardys before the bell and the fight is on with the champs still in the aisle. As usual, the three brawls break out at the same time and they wind up all around the arena. Bubba gives Jeff a Bubba Bomb and Christian throws in the first ladder.

Everyone winds up inside with ladders crushing the Dudleys in the corner. Edge gets laddered down as well and Jeff hits a DDT on Bubba. Jeff’s 450 hits ladder though, leaving Bubba to put the ladder on him and Bubba Bomb said ladder. Another ladder is put on top of Matt so Edge rides a ladder down, Shawn Michaels style, to crush him again. Back up and Bubba puts the ladder on his head for the Terry Funk helicopter spot until the Canadians dropkick him down.

The double flapjack puts D-Von into the ladder in the corner, followed by Christian climbing a ladder and diving down onto Bubba and Matt. Jeff climbs up so Edge spears him off the top rope in a big crash. Multiple ladders are set up in the middle and it’s Bubba cuttering Christian off for the next double knockdown. The Hardys are back up with the splash/legdrop combination to Bubba, followed by a superplex to bring D-Von off the ladder.

Edge and Christian and the Hardys climb but take each other back down and it’s a huge double crash. A third ladder is set up and all six climb, with the Hardys taking a crazy bump over the top to the floor, with Christian and Edge being shoved onto the ropes for a nice crash of their own. Back in and Christian gets crushed with the ladder, leaving Edge to take 3D (the old version, with Bubba getting a running start). Some tables are thrown in and the Dudleys bridge one up on top of a pair of ladders like a scaffold.

The Hardys make the save because that took a long time but the Dudleys are right back up too. Bubba sets up a table at ringside and climbs onto a table (JR: “Not the Spanish announce table!”) and powerbombs Matt through it. D-Von’s splash misses Jeff and only hits table so Jeff runs the barricade at Bubba, who throws a ladder at him for the nasty crash.

Just to make it worse, Bubba sets up the huge ladder in the aisle with a table for a bonus. Christian pops back up and saves Jeff with a bell shot though, leaving Bubba on the table. You know what that means, as Jeff goes up and hits the CRAZY Swanton to crush Bubba (who sells it like death). Back in and Matt goes up, only to get shoved off the platform and through the table, leaving Edge and Christian to win their first (of a freaking ton) Tag Team Titles at 22:31.

Rating: A. I could watch these every day, but egads they are some violent matches. They beat the heck out of each other and it’s some of the most exciting things you’ll see. One of them was once told that they weren’t supposed to be telling stories in these matches but they were managing to pull it off. That’s absolutely the case, as the series of matches that started here would just get better. It’s almost impossible to believe they would wind up being so amazing, but this was quite awesome in its own right, with the ending being a pretty cool visual. Check this out if you haven’t in awhile.

Linda McMahon tells Mick Foley to go get it tonight. Foley talks about how this is the biggest show of the year and it’s the biggest match ever, so it’s the biggest match of all time. Tonight, he’s proving that fairy tales come true for him. I’ve watched a lot of Foley over the years and you can hear it in his voice: this means the world to him.

The Kat vs. Terri

Mae Young and Moolah are the respective seconds, Val Venis is refereeing and you win by throwing the other woman to the floor. Val gets in his usual jokes about how this is the big show and only comes once a year, but…..yeah you get the joke here. The catfight is on in a hurry but Kat stops to kiss Val. A few hair tosses let Terri pose but Kat nails a spear. Mae gets on the apron and tries to take off her clothes, meaning Val misses Kat throwing Terri out. Moolah goes after Terri so Mae can kiss Val, allowing Moolah to pull Kat to the floor, giving Terri the win at 2:23. This was somehow worse than the usual women’s match of the day.

Post match Mae hits Moolah and gives her the Bronco Buster. Kat strips off Terri’s pants for a bonus.

The Radicalz are ready for their six man match but Eddie Guerrero is more worried about his hair. And Chyna.

Chyna is disgusted.

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

The Radicalz (minus Benoit here) have only been around about two and a half months here. Eddie and Scotty circle each other to start until Eddie’s headlock makes Scotty lose his hat. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker plants Eddie so Scotty dances over to Chyna, meaning Eddie needs to crawl to the corner in a hurry. As JR talks about Chyna looking great, it’s a double suplex to drop Dean, allowing Chyna and Grandmaster to dance a bit.

Grandmaster slams Malenko and makes that weird noise of his, followed by a belly to back suplex to Guerrero. Saturn breaks up the Hip Hop Drop though and it’s the Radicalz taking over for the first time. Just to make it personal, Saturn STEALS GRANDMASTER’S HEAD THING and stomps away even more. Grandmaster doesn’t like the hat stealing and gets over for the tag a few seconds later, only to have Scotty get dropped ribs first onto the top rope. Lawler: “Chyna starting to feel the heat. She’s starting to perspire and get moist!”

Eddie gyrates at her a bit before sending her into the turnbuckle, earning himself a Grandmaster suplex to the floor. Everything breaks down and it’s a double Worm (JR: “Not the double Worm! Well it is Wrestlemania!”) to Saturn and Malenko. The referee grabs Chyna to keep her from killing Eddie and Saturn superkicks Scotty.

The always great looking top rope elbow mostly misses so Scotty can superplex Eddie down. Chyna comes in off the hot tag and cleans house, including a double low blow to Saturn and Malenko. Eddie tries to powerbomb Chyna but she slips out into one of her own (with almost no elevation), setting up the gorilla press for the big spot. A sleeper drop finishes Guerrero at 9:39.

Rating: B-. The wrestling wasn’t anything great but they did an awesome job of firing up the crowd. The people wanted to see what they were doing here and it was a lot of fun as a result. They pulled me into this and I was having a good time with the whole thing. Chyna wasn’t what she used to be but the stuff with Eddie was awesome and would get better the next night when they got together.

Some fans won a contest and were flown to Wrestlemania on the day of the show.

Shane McMahon is ready for Big Show to win the WWF Title.

We see Kurt Angle laying out Bob Backlund for getting him in a two fall triple threat match. Angle didn’t need him anymore and never really did in the first place so good job on splitting them up.

Kurt Angle tries to get extra security after he retains his titles tonight. He’s willing to sign autographs for the guard’s kids! Maybe. Goofy, delusional Kurt is one of my all time favorites and always has been.

Intercontinental Title/European Title: Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending and this is a two fall match, with the Intercontinental Title on the line first and the European Title second. Jericho can’t guarantee walking out as a champion but he’ll walk out as the Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah. As for Kirk Angel and Mr. Roboto, they can have a shirt remind them of their trip to Anaheim and a Y2J beating. Jericho was still finding his footing with the signature promos in the WWF but they would get way better in a hurry.

They start fast with Benoit getting the better of it until Jericho triangle dropkicks the two of them to the floor. Jericho goes up but gets shoved down onto the announcers’ table, leaving Benoit to suplex Angle for two. Back in and Jericho dropkicks Angle down for two more but has to break up Angle’s cover on Benoit for the same. Angle suplexes Jericho for another two and a dropkick puts Benoit on the floor. The crossface chickenwing has Jericho in trouble but Benoit makes the save. A Swan Dive finishes Jericho for the first fall and the Intercontinental Title at 7:54.

Benoit gets smart by going for the cover on Jericho again but Angle comes in with a suplex for his own two. Jericho catches Angle on top but Benoit belly to back superplexes Jericho, leaving Angle to miss the moonsault. Everyone is down until Benoit has to save Angle from the Walls. The spinwheel kick puts Benoit on the floor and it’s the double powerbomb to Angle. Benoit is right back in with the rolling German suplexes for two on Jericho as Angle makes another save.

There’s a dragon suplex for two on Angle, with the most ridiculous count I’ve seen in a long time as Angle’s shoulder is on top of Benoit’s. The ref gets bumped (maybe it can fix his eyes), meaning Benoit making Jericho tap to the Crossface doesn’t mean anything. A belt shot drops Jericho as the referee is back up, just as Benoit misses the Swan Dive. Jericho gets back in and Lionsaults Benoit for the European Title at 13:47.

Rating: B. This is always a weird one as it’s some pretty intricate booking (with Angle being very protected in losing both titles) but it didn’t feel urgent for a lot of the match. They were just going from move to move a lot of the time, but it’s still one of the best things on the show. It’s not like these three could ever do badly, so the match was entertaining and almost non-stop action, so it’s a lot more good than bad.

Vince McMahon promises to be a factor and guarantees to make it right.

HHH doesn’t care about what Vince says because tonight he’s going to show everyone who the man is.

X-Pac/Road Dogg vs. Kane/Rikishi

X-Pac and Dogg have Tori with them, along with the awesome Run-DMC theme. Kane on the other hand has Paul Bearer and the always cool inverted red and black attire. Tori slaps Bearer to start so Kane grabs her by the throat as Rikishi gives Road Dogg the Stinkface. X-Pac and Dogg fail to run away and we settle down to X-Pac kicking hitting the Bronco Buster on Rikishi.

Dogg’s dancing punches set up the shaky knee for two but Rikishi grabs a pop up cutter (that’s an awesome move and someone should use it as a finisher). It’s back to Kane and the pain begins in a hurry. X-Pac gets away from the threat of a Stinkface so Tori takes it instead, giving the fans what they had been waiting on. The Tombstone finishes X-Pac at 4:16.

Rating: D. The match was just a means to an end here as you needed a way to get to Tori taking the Stinkface and X-Pac getting dropped on his head. That’s fine from a storyline perspective, though I’m not sure I would have had it second from the top of Wrestlemania. Not a good match, but what were you expecting given this lineup?

Post match Too Cools out, meaning it’s time to dance. Hold on though as the San Diego Chicken, as in the disguise that Pete Rose wore last year, is here as well. Dancing ensues and the Chicken is far too good of a dancer to be Pete Rose. Kane grabs the chicken (there has to be a joke there somehow) but Rose runs in with the baseball bat. Rikishi takes that away so Kane chokeslams Rose, setting up the Stinkface to end the Rose saga for a good many years.

Rock is ready for the final battle and of course he would do it all over again. This is Wrestlemania and it’s not about the McMahons (oh please) because it’s all about the WWF Championship and tonight is the night.

Some celebrities are here.

WWF Title: The Rock vs. Mick Foley vs. Big Show vs. HHH

HHH is defending, elimination rules, and there’s a McMahon in every corner, with Vince, Linda, Shane and Stephanie here respectively. They might as well have just had the McMahons working the match as they’re the only things that matter here. JR: “Not Mankind, not Dude Love, not Mankind, but Mick Foley is in the main event of Wrestlemania!” That made me smile so much. Foley and HHH pair off as Rock punches Show in the corner to start in a hurry. HHH gets hammered down to start up the running knee but Show runs them both over with a double clothesline.

Rock gets gorilla pressed and there’s one for HHH as well. Foley tries choking Show, who drops down hard onto him to cut that off in a hurry. There’s a side slam to Rock but Foley kicks Show low to break up a chokeslam to HHH. It’s time to triple team Show, including a series of clotheslines to finally knock him down. The Cactus Clothesline takes HHH to the floor, meaning Foley can beat on HHH with a chair. Shane gets knocked off the apron and a chair shot to Show lets the Rock Bottom get the first pin at 4:48.

Show and Shane both leave, meaning ringside is a little less crowded. HHH gets smart by offering a deal with Foley and that’s a big negative. Rock on the other hand says sure, before punching HHH in the face as you might have seen coming. They head outside with HHH getting double teamed even more as Stephanie tries to learn how to emote. Foley whips HHH into a Rock clothesline but a bell shot knocks Foley silly. HHH sends Rock into a few things, but the delay lets Foley find the barbed wire 2×4.

It winds up going into Foley’s ribs though, meaning Rock had to make a save from even more violence. A double arm DDT sets up the Mandible Claw and Rock adds a belt shot. That means the People’s Elbow, but Foley grabs the Claw on the Rock in a smart move. HHH low blows both of them (maybe not the brightest move) and everyone is down for a bit. Foley hammers Rock a bit and gets two off the DDT, with the fans being rather relieved by the kickout.

Rock kicks the chair into Foley’s face and a DDT gets two, with HHH making a rather illogical save. NOW Foley is willing to team up on Rock and the fans really aren’t sure what to think of this one. The running knee gets two on Rock and this time HHH doesn’t make a save. There’s a double suplex for two more and the ROCKY chants start up again.

A steps shot puts Rock down and Foley loads up the middle rope elbow, only to slam HARD ribs first into the side of the announcers’ table (it’s sad seeing that he just can’t do it here). HHH drives Foley through the table and Pedigrees Foley for two, with a big reaction from the crowd. A chair to the head sets up a Pedigree onto the chair to get rid of Foley (for good I’m sure) at 19:40.

Foley gets the hero’s sendoff…..but he’s not done yet. He comes back and hits HHH with the barbed wire 2×4 before leaving with a BANG BANG. Rock gets two and it’s time for the big slugout, followed by the clothesline to send HHH outside again. They fight up the aisle and Rock suplexes him on the stage. HHH is sent into the set and they fight through the crowd to get back to ringside. Rock grabs the steps but HHH chairs them into his face and then unloads on the steps with the chair for a bonus.

A hard piledriver onto the steps has JR demanding/begging that the match be stopped and gives HHH a rather delayed two back inside. The Pedigree attempt is countered into a backdrop over the top so they fight into the crowd again. After knocking Rock over the barricade, HHH knocks a fan’s hat off to be extra nasty. Rock gets in a shot of his own and they’re both down at ringside again. A suplex sends HHH through the announcers’ table and it’s another double knockdown.

HHH sends Rock inside so Vince posts HHH, drawing Shane back out to jump Vince (you knew this stuff was coming). A monitor shot to the head knocks Vince silly and gives us one of the funniest stunned expressions I’ve ever seen from Stephanie (look that one up if you get the chance). Vince fights up and beats on Shane, because the main event of Wrestlemania can be ignored for the sake of more drama between these two. A chair to the head drops Vince and Shane even threatens the massive Michael Clarke Duncan at ringside.

Cue Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco to get the busted open Vince out of here so we can go back to the actual match. Rock DDTs HHH for two but a shot to the face puts Rock right back down. The Pedigree is countered into a catapult to cut off an interfering Shane and the Rock Bottom connects. There’s no cover due to exhaustion so here’s Vince again (a full two minutes after he left) to go after Shane yet again. Vince grabs the chair….and of course turns on Rock with a shot to the head for two. Another chair shot from Vince retains the title at 36:26.

Rating: C-. It’s too much. There were so many instances here where I kept wondering how many more times we were going to have the McMahons get involved or have the guys fight into the crowd. Storyline wise, this would have been WAY better as a run of the mill singles match, but I can go with having Foley in there for the sentimental moment. Show….well they had an extra McMahon. At the end of the day though, it was all about the McMahons instead of Rock winning the title like he should have, with the family stuff being more of the same stuff we had seen for years. It’s not terrible, but cut out the nonsense and it’s better.

Post match Vince and Stephanie hug because all is well in part of the McMahon Family again. Shane comes in to look at Vince but gets Rock Bottomed. Vince gets one as well and Stephanie takes the third in a row, followed by the People’s Elbow.

A long highlight package ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I’m not sure what they were going for here but it missed pretty badly. The problem here comes down to the fact that most of the matches just aren’t very good. TLC Beta and the triple threat are both great to rather good, but no one cared about the ladder match after TLC debuted five months later and the trio would have one great match against each other after another on higher levels. This doesn’t really feel like a Wrestlemania as there is way too much stuff that serves as little more than filler. It’s not the worst Wrestlemania ever, but it’s rather close to the bottom of the pile.

Ratings Comparison

Big Boss Man/Bull Buchanan vs. D’Lo Brown/Godfather

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

2020 Redo: D+

Hardcore Battle Royal

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: D+

2020 Redo: C-

T&A vs. Head Cheese

Original: F

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: F

2020 Redo: F

Edge and Christian vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz

Original: B+

2013 Redo: A-

2015 Redo A-

2020 Redo: A

The Kat vs. Terri Runnels

Original: F

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

2020 Redo: N/A

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C-

2020 Redo: B-

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho

Original: A

2013 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: B

2020 Redo: B

Rikishi/Kane vs. D-Generation X

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

2020 Redo: D

HHH vs. The Rock vs. Big Show vs. Mick Foley

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C+

2020 Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

2020 Redo: D+

Where did that six person tag one come from? And have I ever been that all over the place like I am on the Hardcore Battle Royal?

Not much changes in a few years.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/23/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-16-they-thought-this-was-a-good-idea/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/25/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xvi-the-worst-show-from-the-best-year/

And the 2015 Redo:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xiv-2015-redo-time-to-play-the-game/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Must-See Matches Under 5 Minutes
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Terry Taylor, Michael Cole, Al Snow, Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko, Rich Brennan, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Corey Graves, Alex Riley, Art Donovan, Gorilla Monsoon, Randy Savage

As usual, the name says it all and in this case, we should be in for something fun. There are some very good matches which didn’t get much time and I’m curious to see what they’ve found here. The video itself isn’t very long, but in this case that isn’t going to matter as it’s all about packing in content. Let’s get to it.

From Sunday Night Heat, February 28, 1999.

Undertaker vs. Kurrgan

Their respective stables are here too. Undertaker ducks a big right hand to start and slugs away, followed by the jumping clothesline. Kurrgan gets rocked in the corner and it’s a pretty good chokeslam to put him down for the (one boot on the chest) pin at 45 seconds. Well, that was certainly different.

From Velocity, June 8, 2002.

Test vs. Randy Orton

Orton had only debuted about a month and a half before this and Test jumps him to start fast. Test stomps away in the corner and Orton is sent outside. Back in and a dropkick sends Test outside for a change, only for him to come back in with a hard clothesline. A big running elbow misses though and Orton gets to fight back with a DDT giving him a breather.

The high crossbody gives Orton two but Test grabs the pumphandle slam for the same. Test misses the big boot and walks into the Overdrive, which only gets two because it’s that terrible of a finisher. Back up and the Test Drive (basically Cross Rhodes) finishes Orton off at 4:00.

Rating: C. This felt like it was on there for the sake of showcasing a young Orton, as the match is nothing of note. Test was getting built up to be fed to Brock Lesnar at this point, which puts him in pretty good company. It’s still weird to see Orton as a nobody, but the pieces were there to turn him into something, which worked out fairly well.

From Monday Nitro, December 29, 1997.

Cruiserweight Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Ultimo Dragon

Guerrero is defending and jumps Dragon in the aisle. They get inside with Dragon getting powerbombed but managing to escape something off the top. The super hurricanrana is countered but Guerrero tries another powerbomb, which is reversed into the Dragon Sleeper to give Dragon the title at 1:27. That was a nice surprise.

From Royal Rumble 2000.

Kurt Angle vs. Tazz

This is Tazz’s surprise debut after weeks of vignettes. Angle tries to jump him to start fast but gets backdropped out to the floor. They go to the aisle (painted by a street) with Angle hitting a suplex to take over. A running forearm gives Angle two back inside and he goes up top, where Tazz crotches him down. The belly to belly superplex gets the pin…but Angle’s foot is on the rope. A bridging German suplex gives Angle two more but Tazz starts snapping off the suplexes. The Tazmission finishes Angle at 3:15.

Rating: C+. It was energetic, but there was something off about this one. You would expect Tazz to get a dominant win but instead he was beaten up for most of the match. At the same time, beating Angle (first time that had happened) was a big deal and Tazz looked good enough. The problem was that the Radicalz were coming and Chris Jericho and Angle were brand new. That’s not leaving Tazz much room to be the suplex guy and it didn’t work out too well. I mean save for the 20+ year broadcasting career that is.

From NXT Takeover: R-Evolution.

Kevin Owens vs. CJ Parker

This is Owens’ debut and believe it or not, he’s popular. The bell rings and Owens jumps him in the corner with a running clothesline. The Cannonball connects, Owens breaks up Parker’s sign (he cared about the environment) and Parker is sent outside for the running flip dive, giving Owens one of the best opening minutes in WWE history.

It showed you exactly what you could get out of him and made you want to see what was coming next. That’s not bad. Back in and Parker’s left hand and kick to the head actually have Owens down. The palm strike gives Parker two and Owens (bleeding from the eye) grabs a pumphandle backbreaker. The pop up powerbomb finishes for Owens at 3:15.

Rating: B. This still works, as Owens came off like an absolute star right out of the blocks. He ran through Parker and that is what should have happened, as Owens is instantly a player. They let him go out there and wreck someone who wasn’t going to be hurt by a loss and had just enough status for it to matter. Good enough squash, awesome debut.

From King Of The Ring 1994.

King Of The Ring Semifinals: Owen Hart vs. 1-2-3 Kid

Well this is the gold standard of this kind of match. The Kid is coming in injured but is going anyway, with Hart dropkicking him through the ropes before the bell. A suicide dive mostly overshoots Kid but it’s enough contact for Hart to send him back inside. The top rope splash gives Hart two but Kid is right back with a spinning high crossbody for two of his own.

A rollup gives Kid two and he grabs the arm, meaning it’s time to trade spinning escapes. Kid kicks him down, only for Hart to come back with the enziguri for two. The northern lights suplex gives Kid two more, with Savage not believing that Hart made the rope. Hart is sent outside for another dive but he’s right back in with a bridging German suplex for two. They trade rollups for two each until Hart powerbombs him into the Sharpshooter and the win at 3:37.

Rating: A-. These guys felt like they were being given a chance to do whatever they want and that’s exactly what happened. They beat each other up and had the fans believing that the Kid could pull it off. It’s the match a lot of people think of when they think of great stuff in short order and it more than holds up all these decades later.

From WWE Speed, March 5, 2025.

Speed Title #1 Contenders Tournament Semifinals: Yoshiki Inamura vs. Ivar

They trade shoulders to start and slug it out, with the fans rather approving. An exchange of German suplexes goes to Inamura for two and he strikes away in the corner. Ivar is right back with a spinwheel kick for two but Inamura’s spinning slam (that took some effort) gets the same. Ivar crushes him out of the corner but gets caught up top. That’s fine with Ivar, who hits a super World’s Strongest Slam for the pin at 2:22. That was a hoss fight.

Overall Rating: B. This was a good case of “exactly as advertised” and it was a lot of fun. As usual with the WWE Vault, it was a nice mixture of stuff you probably remember along with some stuff you probably haven’t thought of in a long time. It was quick and to the point, which is exactly how the collection should have gone. Good stuff here.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 2006
Date: January 29, 2006
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 16,178
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

This is going to be an interesting one as the Rumble itself has received very little build. It has gotten about as little attention as I can remember in recent years, but things are in a weird place at the moment anyway. Other than that, we have Mark Henry challenging Kurt Angle for the Smackdown World Title and John Cena trying to get the Raw World Title back from Edge. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at all three main events, which is covering all of the bases fairly well.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

Kid Kash, Gregory Helms, Jamie Noble, Funaki, Nunzio, Paul London

Kash is defending, it’s one fall to a finish, only former champions are allowed in, and if this was mentioned on Smackdown, it was in a one off statement. They go with the parade of rollups to start until the five Smackdown wrestlers jump Raw’s Helms. Noble armbars Kash but it’s broken up by London as this is more like a battle royal with everyone pairing off. London is sent to the floor and Nunzio hits the Sicilian Slice (middle rope Fameasser on Helms).

Noble hits a flying leg lariat on Kash with Funaki breaking it up at two. Funaki whips Noble to the ropes but Noble dives onto Nunzio instead. Kash and Funaki head outside and it’s London hitting a shooting star onto the big pile at ringside. Back in and Helms hits a super swinging neckbreaker on London, followed by Kash hitting London with the Dead Level. Nunzio and Funaki make the save so Noble chops the heck out of Funaki. A fireman’s carry gutbuster sets up a dragon sleeper but Helms makes the save. Noble is sent outside and a Shining Wizard to Funaki gives Helms the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. This was the right call for Helms, who lost clean to Jerry Lawler on pay per view earlier this month. He needs to get away from Raw as fast as he can and this is as good of a way as he can do it. There are only so many spots for cruiserweights on either show but it’s not like Kash was anything special anyway. Good move, and a nice choice for a start.

Teddy Long and Vince McMahon are ready for the Rumble but Vince is more excited that Torrie Wilson, Candice Michelle and Victoria are monitoring the tumbler. Randy Orton comes in to draw his number, as does HHH. Trash talk ensues and HHH asks Candice to hold his ball. HHH is really unhappy with his number, with Randy telling him that he’s screwed.

Trish Stratus, refereeing the next match, is warming up when Mickie James comes in with something to tell her. It’s not a good time, but Mickie says she loves her. Trish leaves without saying anything.

Ashley vs. Mickie James

Trish is refereeing and Lawler longs to be her shirt. Mickie and Ashley fight to the floor before heading back inside for an exchange of wristlocks. Ashley actually gets the better of it, with Joey calling her “technically sound”. Mickie is sent outside for an apron clothesline from Ashley, followed by some technically sound right hands in the corner. Trish breaks it up so Mickie grabs a quickly broken half crab.

That’s fine with Mickie, who gets to stare at Trish and beat Ashley up on the floor. A bow and arrow goes on with commentary pointing out that Mickie is trying to impress Trish. Ashley fights up and throws her down by the hair a few times before rolling Mickie up for two. Something like a spear drives Mickie into the corner as the fans are loudly booing Ashley. More right hands in the corner have Mickie in trouble but she uses the trunks to pull Ashley down with a powerbomb for a distressed three from Trish.

Rating: D. Ashley is trying as hard as she can but she’s just not that good. It doesn’t help when you have Mickie and Trish, two of the best of their generation, out there while we have to sit through Ashley’s bad….well almost everything. They’re stretching this out until Wrestlemania and putting Ashley in the ring on pay per view for nearly eight minutes is not the best way to go about it.

Post match Mickie hugs Trish, who still doesn’t seem pleased.

Vince admires the women’s tattoos, some of which are in some suggestive places. Big Show comes in to draw his number but can’t get his hand in the tumbler. Rey Mysterio comes in and, after an Eddie chat with Big Show, draws his number. Rey: “Eddie, you got me man. You got me.”

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Boogeyman

Jillian Hall is here with JBL. After cowering during Boogeyman’s entrance, JBL hides behind Ashley and then bails to the floor. Boogeyman mounts her and spits worms onto her, which is finally enough to get us ready. JBL hammers away to knock Boogeyman outside before taking him inside for some choking with the tape. The Clothesline From JBL only hits the corner though and Boogeyman hits the pumphandle powerslam for the pin. I’m not sure if that’s a good idea or not, as Boogeyman isn’t exactly a main event star, but JBL isn’t as much of one as he was just a few months ago.

Worms are consumed post match.

Mama Benjamin hits on Vince and Shelton Benjamin draws. That goes well for him but here’s Melina to interrupt. Mama gets Shelton out in a hurry as MNM come in to draw. They seem rather pleased and Melina offers to have the two of them get rid of Shawn Michaels.

We recap the Royal Rumble, which is more or less “anyone could win”. They haven’t focused on it that much this year and that leaves some options open.

It’s Royal Rumble time but here’s the Spirit Squad to interrupt. After a cheer about the Rumble, we’re ready to go. Glad we got that out of the way, but it’s certainly a unique gimmick.

Royal Rumble

Ninety second intervals with HHH in at #1 and Rey Mysterio, in a low rider, in at #2. Lawler: “If you’re number one or two, you’re screwed.” This company really doesn’t have much of a memory does it? Rey goes fast to start with a running dropkick to the knee and a headscissors. The right hands in the corner set up the missed 619 and it’s Simon Dean in at #3. Dean stomps on Rey but can only send him to the apron. For some reason Dean thinks HHH will like him and that’s good for an elimination in a hurry.

Rey hits the Bronco Buster on HHH and it’s Psicosis in at #4. Psicosis goes after Rey as well and a swinging sitout faceplant drops him again. An attempt at a Razor’s Edge over the top results in a hurricanrana to get rid of Psicosis. Before anything else can happen, it’s Ric Flair in at #5 (Flair was in five Rumbles. In four of them, he was in the first five entrants.). HHH panics and the fight is on, with Flair grabbing him low but getting poked in the eyes.

A backdrop gets rid of Flair and it’s Big Show in at #6. That means another beatdown on HHH, including the standing legdrop and an elbow. Jonathan Coachman is in at #7 and Big Show gets rid of him as quickly as you would expect. Show stands on HHH’s head again and it’s Bobby Lashley (a dark horse according to Cole) in at #8. A big right hand puts Lashley down but he backdrops Show in a nice power display.

Lashley kicks Show to the floor (not eliminated) and it’s Kane in at #9 as they’re stacking the first part of this thing. Kane and Lashley slug it out with Kane hitting a big boot. Lashley snaps off a belly to belly, knocks down HHH, and hits the Dominator on Kane. It’s Sylvan in at #10, giving us HHH, Mysterio, Big Show, Lashley, Kane and Sylvan.

After Lashley dispatches him even faster than Show got rid of Coach, it’s a double chokeslam to plant Lashley. Kane and Show get rid of him after a strong showing and it’s the giant slugout. They choke each other on the ropes until HHH dumps both of them out (I’m shocked too) so here’s Carlito at #11 to fill in the ring a little more. Carlito stomps on Rey and HHH until a Roddy Piper style eye poke gets HHH out of trouble. Chris Benoit is in at #12 with Cole explaining about Benoit winning last year (hopefully jogging Lawler’s memory a bit).

The Crossface has Carlito in trouble, with HHH making the fast save. That wasn’t the brightest idea in the world but he sends Benoit to the apron where they fight over a suplex attempt. Benoit puts him down and hits the Swanton but here’s Booker T. (back in the long tights) in at #13. Benoit gets rid of Booker in about 20 seconds (Booker was probably still injured) so it’s back to chopping away at everyone else.

Joey Mercury is in at #14 and Benoit gives him a German suplex in a hurry. More chopping ensues as Tatanka of all people is in at #15 to go after HHH. The fans seem to remember him, but that might just be the Florida State Seminoles chant. Everyone pairs off and it’s Johnny Nitro in at #16 as Benoit gets HHH to the apron. Trevor Murdoch is in at #17 (Lawler: “He looks like a big bottle of milk.”) as the ring is getting full in a hurry. Rey is sent to the apron for the third time but is right back in with a basement dropkick to HHH.

Eugene is in at #18 for an airplane spin on Murdoch so Rey gives the two of them a double bulldog. Animal, with bright green shoulder pads, is in at #19. Things slow down again with the only thing between entrances being MNM failing to get rid of Rey. The returning Rob Van Dam is in at #20, giving us HHH, Mysterio, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury, Tatanka, Nitro, Murdoch, Eugene, Animal and Van Dam. Rob goes after almost everyone, including a spinwheel kick to HHH. MNM goes after Rob but he shrugs that off and gets rid of Animal.

Orlando Jordan is in at #21 and doesn’t even get a reaction in his hometown. There are WAY too many people in there and it’s making it hard to do much. Van Dam manages a middle rope kick to Carlito’s face and it’s Chavo Guerrero in at #22. Rolling Thunder hits Jordan and Chavo gets to clean a little house, including Three Amigos to Nitro. For some reason Chavo goes up top and HHH shove shim out without much effort.

Matt Hardy is in at #23 as there is only room for about two people to do anything at a time. MNM dumps Tatanka and it’s Super Crazy in at #24. He comes in with a very high crossbody to MNM and it’s back to fighting on the ropes. Shawn Michaels is in at #25 and PLEASE GET RID OF SOME PEOPLE. Murdoch is Shawn’s first victim and it’s Chris Masters in at #26 because the ring MUST stay overly full. Mercury and Hardy both save themselves and HHH has to do it as well.

Viscera is in at #27 (lucky us) for a Samoan drop on Hardy. There’s the Visagra and Hardy is out for daring to try a Twist of Fate on the monster. Shelton Benjamin is in at #28 as Benoit gets rid of Eugene. There’s a Dragon Whip to HHH as Goldust is in at #29. Crazy seems to have been put out off camera and Randy Orton is in at #30.

Side note: Cole says Orton is coming off a phenomenal 2005. What exactly did he do? Lose the title match against HHH at the Rumble, lose against the Undertaker at Wrestlemania and in the Cell, and need his dad to help him beat Undertaker. Oh and be the sole survivor at Survivor Series (thanks to a distraction), which he had done twice before. That’s phenomenal?

Anyway, the final grouping is HHH, Mysterio, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury, Nitro, Van Dam, Jordan, Michaels, Masters, Viscera, Benjamin, Goldust and Orton, or nearly half of the field. Orton gets rid of Benoit in a hurry to make up for Smackdown and Carlito/Masters dump Viscera. Carlito immediately turns on Masters to eliminate him as they’re picking up the pace in a hurry.

Goldust hits Shattered Dreams on Carlito, and is quickly eliminated by Van Dam. Orton gets rid of Jordan (after a ridiculous sixteen minutes), leaving Shawn and HHH to do their big showdown. MNM breaks that up but Michaels breaks that up and sends Nitro into Mercury to get rid of Joey. Michaels clotheslines Nitro out and skins the cat back in but Shelton jumps him. Shawn superkicks Shelton out without much effort but here’s Vince McMahon to order Michaels out.

Cue Shane McMahon from behind to dump Shawn, who charges back in, chases Shane off, superkicks HHH for old times’ sake, and follows the McMahons to the back. Van Dam gets rid of Carlito and we’re down to Van Dam, HHH, Orton and Mysterio. The tag match breaks out with Van Dam and Mysterio getting the better of it. For some reason Rob goes up and gets crotched by HHH, who sends Rey into Van Dam for the elimination.

Rey has to knock HHH and Orton down at the same time, setting up a double 619. Orton clotheslines Rey down though and powerslams HHH for a bonus. HHH is back up with a spinebuster to Orton but Rey gets rid of HHH to bring the fans WAY back into it. Just because he’s evil, HHH pulls Mysterio to the floor and sends him into the steps. The EDDIE chants start up and Rey manages to slip off Orton’s shoulder and a hurricanrana gives Rey the win.

Rating: B-. It’s good enough, but the Eddie praise got a little rough to take as the match went on. The far bigger problem though was having so many people in the ring at once for long stretches, leaving the people to have to find what openings they could in their limited room. That’s not a good setup for the Rumble and when it’s for the sake of having people like Tatanka and Jordan in there for long stretches, they seem to be missing the point.

Mickie interrupts a Trish interview and says she understands what Trish had to do out there. It’s because Trish loves her too! Trish follows her off to straighten things out.

Rey celebrates in the back when Edge comes in to say Rey better not try Benoit’s loophole by jumping over to Raw.

We recap Edge vs. John Cena for the Raw World Title. Edge cashed in the Money in the Bank briefcase after Cena survived the Elimination Chamber and went on to be a very different kind of champion. It was rather cool at times, but he doesn’t have much chance in this one.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge

Cena is challenging and comes to the ring walking across a confetti shooting scaffold that was lowered from the ceiling. Joey says Cena is fresh here, rather than coming off a 45 minute Elimination Chamber. Why can no one in wrestling tell time? The match wasn’t even 30 minutes long. Cena clotheslines him to the floor to start but Edge manages a trip into the middle buckle.

Back up and Cena grabs a side slam for two so Edge bails outside. That means it’s already time for a Lita distraction and Edge spears Cena into the steps. Cena is sent over the barricade for a nine count and Edge mocks You Can’t See Me. Some kicks to Cena’s face get two and Edge suplexes him down to work on the ribs some more. Cena is sent outside this time and Edge follows to keep hammering away. Back in and Edge gets two off a missile dropkick, setting up a jumping clothesline.

Edge snaps off some jabs to the jaw but has to rake the eyes to get out of a quick FU attempt. Another boot to the face lets Edge go up for a high crossbody, with Cena rolling through for a quick two. A chinlock with a bodyscissors has Cena down again but he powers to his feet. Cena grabs a DDT and they’re both down. The comeback is on and the Shuffle connects for no cover thanks to Lita. That doesn’t really matter though as Cena hits the FU into the STFU to get the title back.

Rating: B-. The wrestling was good enough but the ending wasn’t quite in doubt. As cool as it was to see Edge win the title, I don’t think anyone was buying him as being the champion coming into Wrestlemania. Cena is still the biggest star in the world, despite the mixed reactions getting stronger. I’m thinking Edge will be fine though, as the ratings for his shows as champion are hard to ignore.

Post match, Edge doesn’t want to talk and storms off. Jim Duggan comes up for the obvious Lita joke. I love that Duggan got into gear for the sake of the cameo. It’s such a wrestler thing to do.

Kurt Angle is ready to beat Mark Henry. He’s coming in as champion and leaving as champion. Oh and Mark Henry: YOU SUCK!

Smackdown World Title: Mark Henry vs. Kurt Angle

Henry is challenging and has Daivari in his corner. Angle goes for the leg to start and is shrugged off with ease. With the direct approach not working, it’s off to some speed to make Henry miss. Henry gets hold of Angle’s hand though and starts cranking, before dropping Angle ribs first across the top rope. After a trip to the floor with Henry wrecking the steps for no reason, they head back inside with Henry dropping onto his chest for two. The bearhug goes on but Angle slips out and goes for the ankle lock. Henry powers out so Angle hits the German suplex.

The Angle Slam connects for two and the straps go down, setting up another ankle lock. Henry powers out again and the referee gets bumped. Angle goes for a chair, which he uses on Daivari for trying to cut him off. Henry takes the chair from Angle, so it’s a low blow to slow Henry down. Two chair shots to the head give Angle two so he unhooks a turnbuckle pad. Henry goes face first and it’s a rollup with a grab of the rope to retain.

Rating: D. Well that didn’t work. Rey Mysterio got a better match out of Henry on Smackdown and Angle had to cheat over and over to survive here. They might have been able to do something with some more time, but at about nine and a half minutes, there wasn’t much that they could pull off as Angle had to spend the last few minutes cheating to keep the title. I get protecting Henry, but dang this was a rough sit.

Post match Angle celebrates but the gong sounds. Flanked by druids, Undertaker comes to the ring in a horse drawn chariot before motioning that he wants the title. Some lighting goes off at the posts and the ring collapses to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. There’s nothing on here worth seeing, as the Rumble is middle of the road at best, the World Title matches were never in doubt, and nothing was especially good. It’s a weird time in WWE as they’re trying to gear up for Wrestlemania but other than exploiting Eddie’s death, there isn’t much that can be done to fire up interest at the moment. Wrestlemania doesn’t look promising, but it does feel like it’s a long way off, which isn’t a good sign either. The show isn’t terrible, but it also isn’t anything you need to see.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

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