Vengeance 2006 (2020 Redo): And There It Goes

IMG Credit: WWE

Vengeance 2006
Date: June 25, 2006
Location: Charlotte Bobcats Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Attendance: 6,800
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for another Raw pay per view but this time around we have ECW invading as WWE continues to try to turn it into something again. This time around that means Edge challenging ECW/WWE Champion Rob Van Dam and John Cena vs. Sabu in an EXTREME Lumberjack match. I’m not sure how EXTREME you can make a lumberjack match but maybe Cena can make it work. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about vengeance meaning retaliation for an injustice and looks at all three of the big matches tonight, including the reunited DX vs. the Spirit Squad. I think you know what is getting the focus tonight.

Randy Orton vs. Kurt Angle

Lawler: “Tonight is about vengeance for Orton!” JR: “Touche.” They also mention that Orton’s Smackdown contract expired while he was recovering from his broken ankle, which is why he’s on Raw. I don’t think that has been mentioned before but I do appreciate closing a minor plot hole. Angle chases him into the ropes to start and then does it again for a bonus. A hammerlock into a rollup gives Angle two but the threat of the ankle lock sends Orton to the ropes again.

Angle again teases the German suplex to the floor before settling for a belly to back suplex on the floor instead. Back in and Angle smacks him in the back of the head over and over but Orton pokes him in the eye. A dropkick lets Orton throw him outside, followed by a whip into the barricade. The chinlock goes on back inside with Orton throwing his feet on the ropes like a true villain should. A pair of knee drops set up another chinlock as the crowd goes almost eerily silent.

Orton goes up top for no apparent reason other than to let Angle run the ropes for the belly to belly superplex (and dang did he get up there fast). The Angle Slam is countered into the backbreaker so Orton goes to unhook the turnbuckle pad. That takes too long though as Angle rolls eight straight German suplexes for his own near fall. The ankle lock is broken up and Orton gets the rest of the pad off. Now Angle picks the ankle but Orton rolls him into the buckle, setting up the RKO for the pin.

Rating: C+. It was a good enough match but you would have expected something else. Instead it was a pretty run of the mill match that would have been good as the feature match on Raw, making it an acceptable enough pay per view match. The ending should set up a trilogy match but it wasn’t exactly an instant classic.

Vince McMahon is on the phone and promises that the Spirit Squad will have their vengeance. A fan in a wheelchair comes in…..but he’s wearing a DX shirt so Vince thinks he’s a spy. Vince shoves him out the door and we hear a rather loud crash. Cue Coach with the special pump from Monday but he also asks if Vince can say hello to a family friend of his. He’s a kid in a wheelchair and he’ll probably be in it for the rest of his life. Vince gulps in an obvious yet funny payoff.

Umaga vs. Eugene

Before the match, Armando Alejandro Estrada says you can call all of the heroes you want, even AQUAMAN, and they won’t be able to stop Umaga. Jim Duggan, Doink the Clown and Umaga are here with Eugene. The USA chant starts and Doink sprays Umaga with a squirt gun so Eugene can hammer away. That’s it for the offense as Umaga kicks him down, hits the running hip attack, and finishes with the Spike in a hurry.

Post match Umaga wrecks the legends but Estrada says no to a fight with Kamala. Save it for Raw I guess.

Mick Foley cuts off Tod Grisham from stealing his cheap pop and has a quick public reading from Ric Flair’s novel. By that he means autobiography, but this all has to be fiction. Foley reads the section about himself, with Flair saying the hardcore stuff doesn’t make Foley a great wrestler, but rather a glorified stuntman. Tonight, Foley promises to add a new chapter to Flair’s novel: “How I Was Outwrestled By Mick Foley!”

Mick Foley vs. Ric Flair

2/3 falls. The fans are all over Foley, as you knew they would be. They trade arm work to start with Flair getting the better of it, as you would have probably expected. Back up and Foley unloads with right hands in the corner, followed by the double arm DDT. It’s time for the Ric Flair inspired Mr. Socko (it has feathers) but Flair grabs him low for the break. Flair even hits the top rope ax handle to the back but wrenches the knee on the way down. The leg is wrapped around the ropes and Foley tries a Figure Four but gets small packaged for the first fall.

Flair tries it again to start the second fall but they head outside instead, with Foley going knees first into the steps. A quick trip into the crowd goes badly for Flair and Foley rakes the eyes. Foley whips out a trashcan but gets caught in the Figure Four. The trashcan to the head breaks the hold but draws the DQ to give Flair the win in two straight falls.

Rating: D. I’ve never really liked this feud and this match didn’t change that opinion very much. This was rushed and mostly one sided, though the more confusing part was Foley talking about how he was going to try and have the worst match of his career and then being all serious and wrestling straight to start. It’s like they just dropped what they mentioned on Raw and that made things a little weird. The match wasn’t going to be good either way given the circumstances, but it should have been better than this.

Post match Foley finds the barbed wire baseball bat and busts Flair open badly.

Maria asks Carlito why people who try to be cool are the ones who aren’t cool and the ones who don’t try to be cool wind up being cool. Carlito: “I don’t know what you just said.” Then Torrie Wilson shows up in a swimsuit and Maria rubs oil on her for obvious reasons. Torrie reciprocates and Carlito is annoyed at his music playing.

Intercontinental Title: Carlito vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Johnny Nitro

Benjamin is defending and Carlito is rather flustered during his entrance. Melina is here with Nitro and accidentally distracts him at the bell, allowing Carlito to throw Nitro outside. Shelton is right on Carlito with a clothesline for two but Carlito rolls him up for the same. A headbutt has Shelton on the mat as Nitro comes back in, only to be sent outside again just as fast. Nitro gets back in again and hammers on Shelton but a catapult from Carlito sends him outside for a third time.

Carlito’s dive has to be abandoned and Nitro trips the leg to send him face first into the apron. With Nitro and Shelton fighting on the floor, Carlito hits a double springboard flip dive to take both of them out in a big crash. Back in and Nitro spins into a Russian legsweep for two on Carlito but he grabs a hurricanrana to put Nitro down. Shelton is back with a pop up faceplant to Carlito and there’s a Samoan drop for two, with Nitro making the save. Nitro gets dropped face first onto the top turnbuckle for two but he’s right back with a monkey flip to send Shelton into Carlito’s dropkick for two.

Carlito gets crotched on top and Shelton crotches Nitro into the Tree of Woe. Shelton jumps to the top for a superplex but Nitro pulls himself up for a German superplex out of the Tree of Woe for a Tower of Doom. Lawler doesn’t know what to call that, but he does know that he would have called it better than Tazz. Carlito hits a springboard double back elbow for two each and Nitro is sent outside. The Backstabber hits Shelton but Nitro pulls Carlito outside to steal the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. I can’t blame them for putting the title on Nitro as he is about all you could ask for in a midcard star. Throw in how much better Melina makes him and this was a pretty easy choice over Shelton, who has been stuck in limbo for a long time and Carlito, who only shows flashes of star power. Pretty good match too, with everyone moving at a fast pace.

The Spirit Squad is ready to destroy DX and here’s Vince to say no one makes a fool out of them. Tonight, they’re going to rid the world of DX like bird flu. With the Squad gone, Vince takes the pump from earlier and goes into the bathroom. He comes out a few seconds later with green paint on his face. Lawler: “We just witness a booby trapped penis pump!”

We recap Rob Van Dam becoming Mr. Money in the Bank at Wrestlemania and winning the title at One Night Stand, thanks to Edge. Tonight, Edge gets his shot.

Raw World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Edge

Edge is challenging and has Lita with him. Before the match, Edge insults the Carolina Hurricanes hockey team for needing Canadians to win it for them. Edge goes with a quick takedown to start and even mocks the finger point. Van Dam tries a monkey flip out of the corner but Edge sticks the landing. Some kicks miss as well so Rob rolls him up for two instead. Another takedown sets up a standing moonsault for two and Edge pauses for a second.

The threat of Rolling Thunder sends Edge bailing to the floor so Van Dam hits a moonsault off the barricade. Lita offers a distraction though, allowing Edge to hit a sunset bomb to the floor (THUD, off a nasty landing). Back in and Lawler can’t shut up about Lita, sending JR into one of his great “is that all you think about” rants. Edge cranks on both arms at once but gets kicked to the apron, setting up a running crossbody to the floor.

The spinning kick to the back only hits barricade though and Edge powerbombs him into the barricade to make it much worse. Edge says on the back like a good villain and hits a big boot for two. Van Dam kicks away as well to get a breather though and a German suplex gives the champ two. Edge gets the same off a powerslam but Rob kicks him down again.

The split legged moonsault gives Van Dam two but he kicks the referee down by mistake. With no referee, Edge calls for the belt, which is kicked into his face. Van Dam gets crotched on top though, and the slightly busted open Edge hits a hanging DDT for a very delayed two. The spear is loaded up so Lita holds up a chair behind Rob for no logical reason. Edge spears it by mistake and Van Dam hits the Five Star to retain.

Rating: B-. Another good but not exactly memorable match here. These two can have a solid match together and they did so here, but the ending wasn’t great as there was little reason or Lita to put that chair up. The story was fine with Edge working the back throughout and it was good to give Van Dam his first major title defense, but not exactly an instant classic.

The ECW guys celebrate but here’s Paul Heyman to say there is one match to go. Tonight it’s the EXTREME lumberjack match but Vince McMahon has ruled that there will be an equal number of Raw lumberjacks. Heyman gives them the big pep talk and chanting ensues.

Kane vs. Impostor Kane

Real Kane slugs away to start and a clothesline puts Fake Kane over the top, where he lands on his feet. Back in and Fake chokes away in the corner but Real hits a shoulder and goes for the mask. The side slam gets Fake out of trouble and he hammers away, followed by a forearm to the chest for two. A powerslam gets the same and it’s already off to the chinlock.

With that broken up, the chokeslam attempt is countered with a rake to the face and Real hits a running DDT. Real unloads in the corner into some running clotheslines and a side slam as the fans want the mask removed. Real’s chokeslam is countered so he kicks Fake in the mask and goes up. The clothesline is countered into the chokeslam though to give Fake the pin.

Rating: D. Well that happened. I’m still not sure what the point of this is and I’m still not sure WWE does either, but the visual should have caught your eye. I know Kane needed a freshening up at this point but you would think they might have had something better than “here’s another Kane”. It was a fine enough power match, but the story itself has been rather lacking.

We recap John Cena vs. Sabu. Cena is hated by the ECW fans and Sabu attacked him to show what ECW is all about. Cena likes this new style so let’s have a lumberjack match.

Sabu vs. John Cena

EXTREME lumberjack match. Sabu jumps him to start as Cena is transfixed by the thought of Roadkill vs. Val Venis. Cena gets in a few shots to knock Sabu outside but this time it’s Sabu sending him outside so the lumberjacks can get in their shots. Sandman even canes Cena in the head and the triple jump moonsault gives Sabu two. The camel clutch is broken up in a hurry and Sabu kicks him low.

The triple jump legdrop gives Sabu two, followed by the Arabian Facebuster for the same. Air Sabu only hits corner though and it’s time for the lumberjacks to get in their big fight. Cena goes outside to join them until a chair shot takes him down. They can’t keep Cena on a table though as he grabs the kendo stick to knock Sabu silly. Cena pelts the chair at Sabu’s head and there’s the FU through the table at ringside. The STFU makes Sabu tap.

Rating: D+. The crowd helped this one a lot and Cena did what he could with what he was given. Sabu is an ECW legend but there is only so much value to him outside of ECW in 2006. You can’t have Cena lose to Sabu in this spot and that never felt like a possibility, making this about as good as it was going to get all things considered.

Post match Cena goes to the back and runs into Rob Van Dam, who acknowledges Cena’s guts. Van Dam says Cena can have his rematch for the spinner belt on Raw. Cena says the title is his life so he’ll see Van Dam tomorrow.

We recap DX vs. the Spirit Squad. It started with Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon back in December when Shawn told Vince to let Montreal go already. Vince swore vengeance and eventually brought in the Squad to take care of things. This included getting HHH to help, eventually leading to DX reuniting to fight off the Squad and torment Vince with some HILARIOUS jokes. Tonight is the showdown.

D-Generation X vs. Spirit Squad

Non-title. Mitch and Shawn start things off with Shawn easily taking him down and walking over Mitch’s back. A few right hands put Shawn into the corner but he reverses Mitch and chops away some more. Shawn has to fight out of the Squad’s corner so HHH comes in to start cleaning house without much trouble. Johnny is busted open so he comes in anyway and does a karate pose. HHH punches him down anyway and hits the crotch chop knee drop.

There’s a hard Irish whip into the corner and Shawn crotches Mikey against the post. The legs are wrapped around the post as well (JR: “His knees are broken, his package is bruised.”) The Squad finally gets HHH outside though and there’s a group whip into the steps to take over. A neckbreaker gets HHH out of trouble though and it’s back to Shawn to clean house.

Johnny manages a spinning kick to the face though and the numbers game starts putting Shawn in trouble. There’s a chair to the face to put Shawn down again and a trampoline bulldog gives Mikey two. Kenny comes in to hammer away and then launches Nicky into the corner for two more off a splash. A double flapjack gets another two and we hit a chinlock from Kenny.

The nearly required double clothesline puts them both down but it’s way too early for the hot tag to HHH. A double DDT gets Shawn out of trouble and NOW it’s back to HHH to start cleaning house. Right hands and spinebusters abound but Nicky saves Kenny from the Pedigree. Mikey’s trampoline flip dive takes out his partners by mistake and it’s a Pedigree/superkick for the stereo pins.

Rating: C-. What else were you expecting? I’m really not sure what else to say here and how could you have had any other expectations coming in? You have the pretty good Kenny and four other guys against two legends who work well together. What else could this have been given the circumstances? The Spirit Squad is little more than an annoyance and DX treated them as just that here. Why would I need to see something like this again?

Post match DX beats up the rest of the Squad and Mitch gets to join HHH’s club (what a visual). Vince comes out to say he’ll see DX tomorrow night to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. And now you probably never have to think about this show again. This is by no means a bad show or anywhere close to one, but it is the kind of show where it felt like it took place because they were required to put one on. That doesn’t make for the most thrilling of events and while there are some nice matches, nothing on here is worth going out of your way to see and nothing is even very good. Totally skippable show and one of the more forgettable WWE has put on in a long time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




ECW On Sci Fi – June 20, 2006: The Right Direction

IMG Credit: WWE

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: June 20, 2006
Location: Pepsi Arena, Albany, New York
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

Well after last week’s mess, they don’t have the highest bar to clear. It would be nice to have something that actually feels like ECW, which is why we have Edge and Randy Orton here tonight. It’s the go home show for Vengeance so expect a lot of talk about the matches there. We might even get some ECW stuff in here if we have time. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with an unnamed witch (Medium? Fortune teller?) turning Tarot cards as we hear about ECW invading Raw, causing Raw to come back here tonight.

Opening sequence.

Sabu vs. Tony Mamaluke

Trinity (now named) is here with Mamaluke as Tazz starts trying to get “Vixens” over for the ECW women. Sabu takes him down by the leg to start but Mamaluke is back with a knee to the head. A kick to the head gets two and Mamaluke starts in on the arm. That earns him a kick to the face and a slingshot legdrop to give Sabu two. With Mamaluke on the floor, Sabu uses a chair for a springboard dive to take him down again. Sabu whips out the table but gets chaired down. Mamaluke’s dive off the top is knocked out of the air by a chair being thrown into his face, setting up the camel clutch to give Sabu the win.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much but it already felt more like ECW than anything we saw last week. It was a polished, cleaned up WWE version of ECW, but it did feel more like ECW. Sabu gets a win to help warm him up for John Cena on Sunday, but other than that it was a bunch of dives and weapons shots until the finish.

Kelly promises to strip more than she did last week.

Rob Van Dam is ready to team with Kurt Angle against Edge and Randy Orton in a preview for Sunday. He needs to get rolling, but does come back for one more finger point.

Here’s an annoyed looking Big Show for a chat but Tommy Dreamer cuts him off. Dreamer says if Show wants to make a name for himself around here, he’ll have to go through Dreamer to do so. Dreamer slaps him in the face and the destruction is on in a hurry. The cobra clutch backbreaker into the regular cobra clutch leaves Dreamer laying as Show walks away. Dreamer smiles a lot because he’s kind of loopy. It’s good to see that nothing has changed.

The vampire is outside again.

And now, Macho Libre. Before his match, Libre gives us a luchador style Randy Savage ECW and says he’s looking for a fight. SNAP INTO IT! I think you know where this is going.

Sandman vs. Macho Libre

Macho offers to tell him something (something, something, something, something OH YEAH) and gets caned down for about twenty seconds for the pin. This was funnier than the Zombie, but not by much.

John Cena arrives in the back and is surrounded by ECW. As Paul Heyman holds Sabu back, Cena says he knows all of the extreme things they have planned for him on Sunday. He knows they don’t like him, but Heyman can bring everyone he has on Sunday. Let’s make it an Extreme Lumberjack match because all he wants on Sunday is a chance to go down swinging. Cena glares at Rob Van Dam, turns around, and leaves.

Kelly comes out for her Expose. After a lot of dancing, she manages to get her bra off this time but here’s a guy with a towel to cover her up and take her away. A lot of booing ensues.

Test is coming. A lot of booing should ensue, as he’s one of the least ECW guys you could bring back.

Edge/Randy Orton vs. Kurt Angle/Rob Van Dam

Lita is here with the Raw guys. Before the match, Edge makes it very clear: he thinks ECW and it’s fans SUCK. Angle goes straight for Edge’s leg to start and then throws him down with ease. It’s quickly off to Orton vs. Van Dam with Rob kicking his way out of trouble. Orton gets crotched on the top and a top rope kick knocks him to the floor. There’s the moonsault to take him down again but it’s quickly off to Edge, meaning Lita can low bridge Van Dam to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Angle breaking up Orton’s cover so Edge sends Van Dam outside in a heap. A whip sends Van Dam hard into the steps and Orton hits the good looking dropkick for two. Van Dam rolls over and makes the hot tag to Angle though and it’s time to roll the German suplexes. Edge is sent outside so Angle locks Orton’s ankle but Edge makes the save. Orton uses the distraction to chop block Angle down and it’s time to start working the knee.

Angle pulls Edge down into the choke so Lita rakes the eyes to break it up. A raised boot in the corner lets Angle snap off another German suplex and it’s Van Dam coming in to clean house. Everything breaks down and there’s an Angle Slam to Lita for daring to try a running belt shot. The RKO takes Angle down but Van Dam kicks Orton in the face again. Van Dam cuts off the spear with a belt shot to the face though and the Five Star is good for the pin.

Rating: C+. Pretty good main event tag match here and that’s what the show needed. What mattered here was making ECW look like they could hang with the best of Raw and it didn’t go too far off the deep end to do so. Van Dam and Angle are full fledged WWE main eventers so giving them this win isn’t a big jump up for them, but it makes ECW look better.

Overall Rating: D+. While I would still hesitate to call this show good, this was miles ahead of the disaster that we got last week. The main event was good, the Sandman thing could be turned into a funny weekly deal, and Sabu got some momentum heading into his big match against Cena. The big problems are still really obvious though: this is a WWE show in an ECW costume and there is almost nothing to the ECW roster outside of Van Dam and two WWE guys on loan. It’s not good, but it made last week feel like some opening night jitters and that’s a big sigh of relief.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2017 (2018 Redo): Shane vs. Stephanie, Stephanie vs. Shane

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2017
Date: November 19, 2017
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 14,478
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T., Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton

I barely remember this show other than it was a bunch of Raw vs. Smackdown stuff, including AJ Styles vs. Brock Lesnar. As usual, the modern stuff has no impact on me because so much of it feels like it’s going to be similar to whatever we’re likely to get this year. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Matt Hardy vs. Elias

This is a bonus match, because a four hour show needs more content. Before the match, Elias asks if anyone wants to go for a walk. You can wear red or you can wear blue, but at the end of the day, what would Elias do? The song gets cut off by the booing but he gets it going to talk about how much he hates Houston. Hardy’s music cuts him off again and we’re ready to go. Since it’s a major pay per view and WWE has a really weird way of doing their pre-shows, the are far more empty seats than filled ones opposite the hard camera.

Hardy headlocks him down to start as the announcers start talking about other matches on the show. The Russian legsweep sets up the middle rope elbow to the back of Elias’s head as we take a break. Back with Matt dropping a fist for two but getting his throat snapped across the top rope. Elias switches over to the arm and cranks on an armbar for good measure. The arm goes into the post as Corey talks about getting to see matches we’ve never seen before, such as HHH vs. Shane McMahon. I’d recommend studying your WWE Network before.

The armbar goes on, followed by a double underhook shoulderbreaker for two. Matt gets sent to the apron and Elias follows for some reason, allowing Matt to hit a Side Effect and take over. Back in and Elias gets sent into all three buckles, followed by the bulldog for no cover. Another Side Effect gets two and the middle rope elbow is good for the same. Elias is smart enough to hit him in the arm though and sends it into the post. Drift Away puts Hardy away at 9:16.

Rating: D+. I can never get around the empty seats during these first matches. What in the world is the point of having a match when it’s something that means as little as this and isn’t even any good in the first place? The arm work was fine and it played into the finish, but it was nothing that wouldn’t bore you in the third hour of Raw.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Kalisto vs. Enzo Amore

Amore is defending and was sent into a cake on 205 Live to really make this personal. Before the match, Enzo goes into a rant about Kalisto sending him into a cake that Enzo paid for. Tonight, Enzo is going to make beef stew out of chicken. Enzo is extra aggressive to start but Kalisto kicks him away without much effort. The chase to the floor is on and Kalisto follows him back in with a slingshot Code Red for two. Kalisto goes to the ropes once too often though and gets his throat snapped as we take a break.

Back with Enzo getting two off a clothesline and pulling him out of the corner into a side slam for the same (cool move). The chinlock goes on for a bit until a running forearm in the corner gets two more. That means a second chinlock with a Stunner not quite breaking the hold. It’s too early for the Salida Del Sol so Enzo puts him in the Tree of Woe, only to miss a charge and hit the buckle.

Kalisto hits a top rope moonsault but his ribs won’t let him get a cover. He’s fine enough to hit the hurricanrana driver but the Salida is broken up again. They slug it out on the apron and Enzo pulls him head first into the rob that connects the buckle to the post. The Jordunzo finishes Kalisto at 8:13.

Rating: D+. That’s one of the better matches I remember from Enzo, which probably had a lot to do with Kalisto being in there to do most of the hard work for him. There was little chance that Enzo was dropping the title here so at least they kept it short, even with a commercial included. Not a good match, but it could have been worse.

Kickoff Show: Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens vs. Breezango

Sami is freshly heel here and doesn’t like being stuck having to face losers like Breezango. They should be on Team Smackdown tonight but Shane McMahon is holding them back. It’s all part of the McMahon sibling rivalry but here’s Breezango to cut them off. They got a tip of some fashion violators and all that ungroomed facial hair proves they’re right. That’s bad enough for some violations so Fandango dropkicks Owens down. Owens and Zayn are sent outside where they have fashioned tickets rained down on them as we take a break.

Back with Sami getting sent outside again but Owens gets in a cheap shot this time to put Breeze in trouble. Owens comes in for his usual pummeling but it’s already back to Sami for the chinlock. A kick to the face isn’t enough to get Breeze out of trouble as Owens comes back in for a chinlock of his own. That’s not good enough, so we hit the fourth chinlock in about two minutes.

Owens mixes it up with a backsplash but hits knees, suggesting that he should have stuck with the chinlocks. The hot tag brings in Fandango for the snap jabs and a middle rope dropkick. A tornado DDT gets two with Owens making the save but Fandango misses the Last Dance. The Pop Up Powerbomb finishes Fandango at 8:32.

Rating: D+. Well this concludes the worst Kickoff Show I can remember in a long time. It didn’t seem like Owens and Zayn cared at all here and really, can you blame them? The previous month they were headlining a pay per view and now they’re on the Kickoff Show? That’s the best you can have for these guys? Fair point as that’s the idea of the story. Other than that, I still feel bad for what happened to Breezango as they got themselves over and then were just dropped for….whoever the Smackdown Tag Team Champions were at this point. Does it really matter if they’re that forgettable?

The opening video focuses on the war between Raw and Smackdown, featuring the UNDER SIEGE deal, which was mainly all about Stephanie vs. Shane. I still don’t get how they didn’t have the Usos with the Uso Penitentiary deal leading that charge. The rest of the Raw vs. Smackdown matches get a quick look of their own.

We have a FIVE MAN commentary booth. As usual, quantity equals quality in WWE’s eyes.

New Day vs. Shield

This didn’t get the attention that it deserved because it’s a genuine dream match. Before the match, Woods says that while this is great fuel for the fan fiction writers, it’s also time for them to show that they’re the most dominant trio in WWE history. Kofi brings up the Raw roster invading three weeks after Smackdown did and not even doing it as well. They’re about to go Bob Barker on the Hounds of Justice (How did no one get that line in before?) and when Wrestlemania time comes up, the Shield will bite each other (true actually, at least before Dean got hurt).

They’re the true brotherhood around here and it’s time to prove it. And now, before the match, here’s another video of Smackdown invading Raw and vice versa, in case you didn’t get the point six minutes ago. The only new material here is New Day costing the Shield the Tag Team Titles. Big pop for Shield, as you had to expect. Seth and Dean have the half Raw half Shield shirts but Reigns is too cool to go that route.

Ambrose and Kofi start things off as the fans are split here, apparently not able to pick which wristlock they like best. Booker’s preview for the night: “There’s not gonna be a whole lot of entertainment.” This man gets paid to do this people. Rollins and Woods come in with Woods quickly realizing that he’s in way over his head. As the announcers discuss titles, Big E. comes in to face Rollins. Now you NXT fans should get where commentary should be going, but of course nothing is mentioned.

It’s off to Reigns instead and this isn’t quite the showdown that WWE thinks it is. Big E. breaks up a waistlock attempt and runs Reigns over with a shoulder, only to have an elbow do the same to him. A good looking Samoan drop gives Reigns two….and the fans are there with the SWEET because we’re that lucky. Everything breaks down and a triple clothesline takes Big E. and Kofi to the floor, leaving Woods to get stomped down in the corner. Rollins comes off the top with a right hands to the ribs as the Shield starts their rhythm.

Ambrose gives up the tag to Kofi though and things pick up in a hurry. The Boom Drop hits Ambrose but he kicks Kofi out of the air. It’s too early for Dirty Deeds though and the Unicorn Stampede is on. New Day does it again for good measure and the fans aren’t thrilled this time around. That’s enough for Rollins and Reigns and everything breaks down. Big E. spears Ambrose through the ropes, thankfully not coming that close to death. That’s only good for two and things settle down again with Ambrose’s shirt being ripped off. It’s an improvement, as Ambrose looks more normal in all black.

The chinlock goes on for a few moments before Dean breaks up a superplex attempt. Big E. can’t get one either and Dean missile dropkicks him down instead. The hot tag brings in Rollins, albeit with an unnecessary jump from Dean. Seth springboards in with the clothesline and starts in with his usual fast paced offense. The announcers are already getting really annoying with this Raw vs. Smackdown stuff and Graves being in the middle is all that’s holding it together.

Reigns comes in for a jumping clothesline to Woods and the Superman Punch knocks him even sillier. Big E. breaks up the spear but Rollins saves Dean from the Midnight Hour. The jumping knee into Dirty Deeds gets two on Kofi with Woods making a save of his own. A fired up Woods comes in so Rollins kicks him in the face to calm things down. Now it’s Big E.’s turn to break up the TripleBomb and there’s Trouble in Paradise to Rollins. Reigns is laid out on the floor so Woods puts Big E. on his shoulders so Kofi can jump over them for a splash onto Dean.

Woods drops Big E. onto him as well but there’s no cover. Instead Big E. picks up Ambrose and Rollins for a double Midnight Hour, leaving Reigns to spear Big E. onto the covers for a save. Both teams pull each other up for a cool visual and the fight is on again. Dirty Deeds plants Big E. on the floor and the spear cuts Kofi in half. Shield isn’t done though and it’s a super TripleBomb to completely finish Kofi at 21:32.

Rating: B+. This took some time to get going but once they turned it into the big fight feel, it became what it should have been. These teams are both great in different ways and while New Day has had more success as a trio, it’s hard to argue with them beating three former World Champions. Shield winning is the right choice, but at the same time it means that we have to hear about Raw being up 1-0 on Smackdown for far too long now.

Cole: “Raw is up 1-0!”

In the back, Stephanie McMahon: “Raw is up 1-0!” She gives the Raw women’s team a pep talk and it’s about as over the top as you would guess.

There’s a scoreboard to show Raw is in fact up 1-0.

Raw Women’s Team vs. Smackdown Women’s Team

Raw: Sasha Banks, Bayley, Alicia Fox, Asuka, Nia Jax

Smackdown: Carmella, Natalya, Becky Lynch, Naomi, Tamina

Lana is in Smackdown’s corner and Fox and Lynch are the captains. During the entrances (which are going to take their sweet time), Phillips reminds us that Raw is in fact up 1-0. Does WWE really think we have the attention spans of drunken squirrels? We also get to see the Raw women invading the Smackdown locker room so we can hear about UNDER SIEGE for the fifteenth time in the show’s first forty five minutes.

Fox and Lynch start things off with Fox actually getting the better of it off some forearms. Becky gets in a neck snap across the top though and drops a top rope legdrop for two. The threat of the Disarm-Her sends Fox to the ropes so Bayley tags herself in and grabs a rollup to get rid of Lynch at 2:02.

Natalya comes in next to stomp Bayley in the corner as Booker can’t figure out who is on which show. Tamina misses a splash in the corner and gets forearmed in the head before it’s off to Asuka to a big reaction. That’s just a preview though as a few kicks to the legs are enough before Asuka hands it back to Fox. Since it’s Fox and she’s not very good, it’s already back to Bayley, who gets beaten up in the corner. Carmella hits a superkick and Tamina’s Superfly Splash gets rid of Bayley at 5:27.

That’s what you get for cheering her when you’re not supposed to people. Nia comes in to face Tamina, and it’s not interesting a year earlier either. A shot knocks Naomi off the apron and Tamina does the same to Asuka before neither can hurt the other. Nia’s headbutt hurts both of them but Nia splashing her in the corner only hates Tamina. Lana gets on the apron for some reason so Nia knocks her off, allowing Tamina to superkick her to the floor. A dive from Naomi and another superkick set up the crossbody off the apron to get Nia counted out at 9:01.

Fox comes in and yells at Nia as she leaves and gets knocked down by Naomi. In one of those moments of brilliance you only see in wrestling, Naomi looks over her shoulder, sees Fox moving, and then starts jumping up for the split legged moonsault. Naomi is fine enough to get a sunset flip that she lets up at two…but Fox doesn’t get her shoulders up and the referee counts the pin anyway at 10:31. Banks is right back in to make Naomi tap to the Bank Statement at 10:47 so we’re down to Banks/Asuka vs. Carmella/Tamina/Natalya.

Asuka comes in to unload with kicks to Carmella and the hip attack gets two. Carmella pulls her down by the hair and hits a quick Bronco Buster before pausing to mock Sasha’s dance. For reasons of general stupidity, Carmella slaps Asuka in the face and it’s a knee to the head, followed by a heck of a kick to get rid of Carmella at 12:59. Banks and Natalya come in and hit each other a few times until Natalya gets the better of it for two. Sasha gets sent face first into the middle buckle and the Sharpshooter makes her tap at 15:22, leaving Asuka vs. Natalya and Tamina in the Ultimate Warrior at Survivor Series 1988 mold.

Natalya gets in a few kicks and hands it off to Tamina for a slam. The Superfly Splash that wouldn’t have hit even if Asuka hadn’t moved misses when Asuka moves and it’s a cross armbreaker to get rid of Tamina at 17:32. Natalya can’t get the Sharpshooter as Asuka pulls her into a kneebar, followed by a kick to the face. The Asuka Lock finishes Natalya at 18:27.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t great to start but the ending was exactly the right call with Asuka getting the star treatment at the end. The rest of the match wasn’t all that great as the focus was on Tamina (who still isn’t interesting, mainly because Nia is better at every single thing Tamina is around to do) or Alicia being wacky, making it an exercise in waiting around on Asuka. To their credit though, they got that part right and that’s what mattered most.

Here’s what coming on WWE Network. Don’t worry though, because they’ll air almost nothing but NXT, 205 Live and whatever tournament they have going on at the moment.

Stephanie (erg) brags to Daniel Bryan about Raw being up 2-0. She accuses Bryan of getting John Cena on the Smackdown men’s team by practically being family. Bryan: “Didn’t you put your husband on the Raw team?” It turns into a discussion of Wrestlemania XXX as this goes on way too long as we AGAIN recap the invasions. Sweet goodness WE WATCH THE TV SHOWS AND DON’T NEED TO HEAR THIS STUFF OVER AND OVER AGAIN! I haven’t watched the TV shows since last year and I can tell you what happens week by week just because of all these recaps.

Baron Corbin vs. The Miz

Smackdown vs. Raw and US Champion vs. Intercontinental Champion, though it’s non-title, like every match tonight. Miz has Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel with him and Corbin has been talking trash about Maryse and Miz’s unborn child. The threat of an early clothesline sends Miz bailing to the floor and it’s time for some consultation. A Dallas distraction lets Miz hit a baseball slide, followed by a clothesline to put Corbin right back on the floor. Corbin kicks him off the apron though as they’re going back and forth pretty fast so far.

The fans try to start some dueling chants but the LET’S GO MIZ chants are pretty clearly louder. Corbin misses a running crotch attack to the back but easily avoids a baseball slide. With Miz in trouble, Dallas hits Corbin in the knee to give Miz his first actual advantage. The Figure Four is easily blocked but a chop block cuts Corbin down again. Now the Figure Four goes on but that’s broken up in short order, allowing Corbin to hit Deep Six on one leg.

Dallas is right there again with a shot to the knee though and Miz adds a big boot. Corbin’s knee is fine enough to slide underneath the ropes and beat up the Miztourage but the End of Days is countered into a DDT for two. Some rather weak looking YES Kicks don’t have much effect so Miz hits the running corner dropkicks. Corbin shrugs them off though and End of Days is good for the pin at 9:26.

Rating: D+. Commentary really hurt this one as the put on Raw vs. Smackdown stuff continues. The leg work was fine but when Corbin is fine enough to do all of his usual stuff and then hit his finisher to win, it doesn’t mean that much. You had to give Smackdown something in this whole thing and given how bad the midcard titles are presented in the first place, this was the least painful loss for a champion.

Post match Corbin says he just shut everyone’s mouth.

Paul Heyman says everything about tonight is phenomenal, including AJ Styles. Then the bell will ring and the conqueror is going to rip AJ Styles apart.

Usos vs. Cesaro/Sheamus

Before the match, the Usos mock the Bar’s catchphrase and says they’ll be bartenders tonight. Or maybe they’re pole vaulters. Sheamus drives Jimmy into the corner to start and Jimmy isn’t sure what to do here. Instead it’s off to Jey who does the same to Sheamus, though he’s smart enough to stomp away and take over. As the announcers discuss Corey’s lack of success (as Booker hadn’t heard about it), Cesaro comes in and gets hiptossed down.

A quick double team puts Jimmy down though and it’s off to a headlock, because a chinlock isn’t sophisticated enough. Jimmy knocks Sheamus to the floor but a dive gets cut off by a Cesaro uppercut. Back in and Cesaro puts on a Crossface without the arm trap as Booker wants the Bar to be called the A-Team. Graves: “Why would you do that? They’re called the Bar Booker.” Sheamus drops a knee and puts on a chinlock with Cesaro running in to kick Jey off the apron.

The pop up uppercut gets two but Sheamus takes too long setting up the ten forearms to the chest. Booker: “Think about the brand!” Jimmy gets in a Whisper in the Wind and that’s enough for the hot tag to pick up the pace. He also picks up Cesaro with a backdrop into the corner for two, leaving Sheamus to argue with the referee. Jey gets in a superkick but Sheamus adds a forearm to the back, allowing Cesaro to Swing Jimmy into the Sharpshooter. The longest crawl to a rope I can remember gets Jey out of trouble, assuming you bought the Sharpshooter as a potential finish either (you shouldn’t have).

The spike White Noise is broken up and Sheamus is sent into the post. He’s fine enough to hold Jey up for White Noise with Cesaro adding a springboard spike. Jimmy makes a great looking last second save so Cesaro throws him out and loads up Jey in a powerbomb. Sheamus goes up top but gets punched in the face, allowing Jimmy to Samoan drop him down with Cesaro adding the powerbomb. Cesaro dives in the way of a double superkick, leaving Sheamus to take the same thing. Jimmy does the eternally cool tag while diving over the top to take out Cesaro. The Superfly Splash finishes Sheamus at 15:56.

Rating: B-. Yeah of course this was good with two very talented teams. Granted a year later the Usos haven’t had a meaningful match in forever and the Bar are now the Smackdown Tag Team Champions, but at least this was entertaining. If nothing else though, this is a great showcase of what happens when you just let people go and have a fun match, which is always going to help things out.

Jason Jordan, who was recently (and thankfully) replaced on the Raw team by HHH, wants to see HHH get eliminated before Team Raw wins.

We recap Charlotte winning the Smackdown Women’s Title on Tuesday to take Natalya’s spot tonight. If nothing else it was awesome to see Ric Flair come out after his health scares.

Charlotte vs. Alexa Bliss

Non-….you get the idea. Charlotte knocks her outside early on and is polite enough to hold the ropes open to invite Bliss back in. Booker of course talks about baseball. Back in and Bliss hides in the ropes before slapping her in the face. That earns Bliss a hard right hand so they head to the apron with Bliss snapping the arm to the floor. A dropkick into the steps has Charlotte in more trouble and it’s off to an abdominal stretch, though Charlotte has to kneel because Bliss isn’t that tall.

Some kicks to the ribs keep Charlotte in trouble and she gets sent face first into the middle buckle to make things even worse. Bliss tries to go aerial but a tornado DDT is countered into a t-bone suplex into the corner (with Bliss bouncing around as only she can). Charlotte gets crotched on top but rolls away before Twisted Bliss. That’s even worse for her though as she gets caught with middle rope double knees to the back (I still don’t get how that doesn’t cause a severe injury.).

Code Red gives Bliss two and she hammers away with even more fire than she usually shows. A guillotine choke has Charlotte in trouble (it worked for Bayley against Nia Jax) but a sitout powerbomb (looked great) breaks that up. The fans are split (as they should be) and Bliss breaks up the Figure Eight with a right hand that has the referee checking on Charlotte.

Natural Selection gets two but the moonsault misses (as always). Bliss grabs her DDT for two of her own so she chokes and screams a lot. Amazingly enough, Charlotte can pretty easily overpower Bliss and hits a spear to cut her in half. Back up and more kicks to the ribs have Charlotte in trouble but Twisted Bliss hits raised knees. A big boot sets up the Figure Eight to make Bliss tap at 15:46 and put Smackdown up 3-2.

Rating: B. Heck of a match here with Bliss looking like she could more than hang with someone on Charlotte’s level. You don’t see someone go move for move with Charlotte like this and it’s a great sign for Bliss’ future. The ribs story was perfectly fine, even if it meant that another champion had to lose. You know, because of bragging rights.

Post match, Charlotte nods in approval.

We recap AJ Styles vs. Brock Lesnar in another champion vs. champion match. Lesnar is the monster and AJ is the new underdog champion (sounds oxymoronish), thankfully saving us from Lesnar vs. Jinder Mahal.

Brock Lesnar vs. AJ Styles

Heyman handles Lesnar’s introductions, saying he’s fighting (Heyman: “Fighting. You hear that Mr. Performer?”) and the fans are split to start. Brock goes straight to the shoulders in the corner and throws AJ across the ring a few times. Forearms to the back keep AJ in trouble as the dominance is on early. One heck of an overhead belly to belly has Styles in more trouble and there’s the first German suplex. Lesnar sends him outside for a toss into the barricade as Cole is almost giddy.

Back in and another German suplex has AJ rocked but he tries to get up anyway. With Heyman cradling the Universal Title like a newborn, Brock hits a running knee in the corner. Lesnar wants him to fight and then clotheslines AJ right back down. Some right hands have little effect for Styles as Brock puts him down again. The F5 doesn’t work and Lesnar’s second running knee hits the buckle.

A DDT actually puts Lesnar down and it’s time to cheer for AJ as he kicks at the leg. Lesnar throws him off a tornado DDT attempt and they’re both down. AJ tries a springboard but gets caught in a German suplex that flips him over his head. Well of course it does. This time AJ ducks the big right hand and Lesnar falls to the floor, setting up the slingshot forearm. Brock goes knee first into the steps and there’s another forearm off said steps.

An enziguri makes things even worse back inside and the springboard 450 gets the first two as Heyman is panicking. The Styles Clash is countered into an F5 attempt which is countered into the Calf Crusher. You can hear the fans actually going nuts…until Lesnar grabs AJ’s head and rams it into the mat to break it up. Another F5 is broken up and the Phenomenal Forearm connects for a very close two. Brock is right back up with the F5 for the pin at 15:19.

Rating: A-. Oh yeah this worked. I was getting into these near falls all over again as they were nailing the Rocky story. Lesnar knows how to play the monster but AJ is even better at being the fighting from underneath high flier. This was great stuff and I’d love to see it again, even if a year later they’re somehow right where they were here. Anyway, great performance from both guys as Lesnar shows he can still do it.

We recap the Raw vs. Smackdown men’s match. Allow me:

UNDER SIEGE

Invasion

Invasion

Stephanie is really, really annoying

Roster changes because they knew the original lineups were awful

Invasion

Got all that?

Raw Men’s Team vs. Smackdown Men’s Team

Kurt Angle, Braun Strowman, Finn Balor, Samoa Joe, HHH

Shane McMahon, Randy Orton, Bobby Roode, Shinsuke Nakamura, John Cena

What are the odds that the whole competition comes down to this? Shane jumps at Strowman to start because Shane is the most awesome person ever. That’s shrugged off so we’ll try Joe vs. Orton instead. Joe headlocks him into the corner without much effort so let’s go with Nakamura vs. Balor instead. That certainly gets the fans into it, though Cole ruins it a bit by calling him Shin. The feeling out process begins as the NXT chants start up.

Nakamura takes him to the ropes for the swinging arms, only to be reversed into a TOO SWEET to the head. HHH comes in for a kind of weird showdown and takes Nakamura into the corner for the right hands. Nakamura gets in the first kick to the chest but the facebuster sends him into the corner for the tag to Roode. This one isn’t so much weird as much as it is….nothing. Since Roode’s pose takes forever, HHH punches him in the face. Fair enough actually.

The spinebuster takes Roode down again but Roode counters the Pedigree and hits a spinebuster of his own. That means we get the GLORIOUS pose but the Glorious DDT is broken up. Instead HHH drives him into the corner for the tag off to Angle for the rolling German suplexes.

A double clothesline puts them both down so the Raw guys switch places on the apron. It’s off to Nakamura for the running knees so Joe comes in to make the save. Everything breaks down and Nakamura hits Kinshasa on HHH, only to run into the now legal Strowman. The middle rope knee staggers the monster but the running powerslam gets rid of Nakamura at 11:31.

Roode comes in and kicks at Strowman’s legs, followed by the Blockbuster. That’s not even good for one so Roode tries it again, earning himself another running powerslam for the pin at 12:22. For some reason Joe and Strowman get in an argument, as do HHH and Angle. Smackdown is smart enough to let them fight until Orton and Shane come in like idiots. Orton powerslams Joe and Cena is all fired up, only to have Strowman come in for a heck of a 2-1 showdown. The AA and RKO are both broken up and Strowman knocks them both to the floor.

Orton and Cena get together and the rest of Team Smackdown (including the eliminated members) get together to suplex Strowman through a table. Naturally Shane gets to talk the trash but Joe breaks up an elbow to the floor with a belly to belly superplex. Cena comes in to hammer on Joe but gets booted in the face. The Rock Bottom out of the corner looks to set up the Coup de Grace, only to have Joe and Balor get in an argument. An AA to Joe, an AA to Balor and another to Joe is good for an elimination at 18:05.

Angle comes in for the showdown with some history behind it and Cena gets taken down without much effort. Back up and Cena elbows him in the face, followed by initiating the finishing sequence. The Shuffle is reversed into the ankle lock but Cena slips out without much damage. The Angle Slam does a little more damage, to the point where Shane has to make a save. Balor drops the Coup de Grace and another Slam gets rid of Cena at 21:45.

We’re down to Orton/Shane vs. Balor/HHH/Angle/Strowman so Orton comes in, only to get forearmed by Balor. A trip to the floor lets Balor shotgun dropkick Shane into the barricade. Back in and the Coup de Grace misses again, setting up an RKO to get rid of Balor at 23:46. HHH is right there to jump Orton from behind but the backbreaker gets him out of trouble.

Cue Sami and Owens to beat Shane up but he fights them off with a chair, because OF COURSE HE CAN DO THAT. An RKO drops Owens….and Strowman is back up to come in again. The running powerslam is good for the elimination at 26:32 and Shane is worried, mainly because he’s alone against HHH, Strowman and Angle. Shane stands around forever before going in to face Strowman until HHH tags himself in. Angle tags himself in as well and gets taken down by a Russian legsweep.

The jumping back elbow to the jaw and la majistral get two each. Shane hammers away in the corner but the Angle Slam puts him down. There’s the ankle lock for nearly a minute…until HHH comes in and Pedigrees Angle to give Shane the pin at 32:00. HHH stares at Strowman, helps Shane up, and Pedigrees him as well for the pin at 33:20.

Rating: D+. Yeah this still didn’t work a year later either. The first third is spent on showdowns that don’t mean anything and the rest is getting rid of the people who don’t matter so we can get down to the big stuff with Shane, HHH and Angle. You know, the older guys. The wrestling wasn’t the worst but it was long, didn’t feel important and came off more as a way to get to the ending instead of something worth seeing along the way.

Post match HHH is all smiley as Strowman stares him down. Strowman grabs him by the throat and says never do this again so HHH tries a Pedigree but gets powerslammed twice to end the show. This of course lead nowhere.

Overall Rating: B-. Much like last year, the show just felt long and brought down the good things they had going on. Now that being said, the good matches on the show were more than good enough to make up for the bad and the show is definitely worth seeing. AJ vs. Brock is more than good and the opener isn’t far behind. In other words, this Survivor Series is great if you take out the Survivor Series matches.

If nothing else, they’ve made me dislike Survivor Series, which used to be my favorite pay per view. This Raw vs. Smackdown story was pure annoyance with the announcers all suddenly being cheerleaders about a story that would disappear in a few days. It feels so manufactured and, because it’s WWE, they beat you over the head with it so hard that you’re waiting on the whole thing to finally end so you don’t have to hear about it anymore. Thanks for sucking the fun out of one of my favorite shows guys. It only took thirty years.

Ratings Comparison

Elias vs. Matt Hardy

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Kalisto vs. Enzo Amore

Original: D

Redo: D+

Kevin Owens/Sami Zayn vs. Breezango

Original: D+

Redo: D+

New Day vs. Shield

Original: B

Redo: B+

Team Raw Women vs. Team Smackdown Women

Original: D

Redo: C-

The Miz vs. Baron Corbin

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Usos vs. Cesaro/Sheamus

Original: B

Redo: B-

Charlotte vs. Alexa Bliss

Original: B+

Redo: B

AJ Styles vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: B+

Redo: A-

Team Raw Men vs. Team Smackdown Men

Original: D

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/19/survivor-series-2017-never-mind-the-talent-here-are-the-old-guys/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2017 (Original): Dream Match

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2017
Date: November 19, 2017
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Booker T., Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

I could go for more of this idea of shows turning from kind of uninteresting into stacked. This is a double main event with Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown, plus AJ Styles vs. Brock Lesnar in a non-title match. That might not sound like much but when you have John Cena, HHH, Kurt Angle and Randy Orton in a match, there has to be something right. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Elias vs. Matt Hardy

Bonus match. Feeling out process to start with Matt working on a headlock before grabbing a Russian legsweep. Back from a break with Elias pull Matt’s throat into the top rope and then sending the shoulder into the apron. Elias stays on the arm with an armbar and right hands to the shoulder. We hit the armbar as this isn’t exactly setting the world on fire yet.

A double underhook shoulder breaker (basically a Pedigree lifted into a shoulder breaker) keeps Matt in trouble until he grabs a Side Effect on the apron. The rams into the buckle and a bulldog set up a regular Side Effect for two. The Twist of Fate doesn’t work though and Elias posts the bad arm. Drift Away gives Elias the pin at 9:10.

Rating: D+. The arm work was fine and I’m rather glad Elias won after not having much to do as of late, but what was the point in adding this? It’s a nothing match in front of a mostly empty arena that adds nothing to the show. The guys are trying to have a good match and they might as well be in a flea market for all the people they have watching. Just do the match on Raw where it belongs.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Kalisto vs. Enzo Amore

Amore is defending after they’ve traded the title. Before the match, Enzo talks about Kalisto sending him into the cake on Tuesday. Then he woke up and looked in the mirror, where he wished upon a star. Tonight, he wants to give Kalisto a beating and fry him up like a chicken so Enzo can be the only Chick-Fil-A open o a Sunday.

Enzo starts fast with some shoulders in the corner but Kalisto grabs a sunset bomb for two as we take an early break. Back with Enzo pulling him out of the corner into a side slam for a near fall of his own. A running forearm in the corner gets two and we’re off to the chinlock. Kalisto fights up with a headscissors though, followed by a Death Valley Bomb. The Salida Del Sol is blocked but so is a Jordunzo on the apron. Back in and Enzo sends him face first into an exposed buckle, setting up the Jordunzo to retain the title at 8:54.

Rating: D. For those of you keeping track, that would be back to back matches where the heel sends his opponent into something metal in the corner to set up their finisher. That’s bad agenting and I’d expect more out of WWE. I also expected nothing more than Enzo retaining here as Kalisto looked like a pretty lame duck challenger for the most part. Now we can get someone else to scare Enzo a bit before he cheats to retain the title. We’re just lucky that way I guess.

Kickoff Show: Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens vs. Breezango

Bonus match. Before the match, Owens and Sami talk about how ridiculous it is for them to be on the Kickoff Show. If Breezango wants to solve crimes, they should be looking at why Owens and Sami aren’t leading Smackdown to victory tonight. They’re not happy with being caught in the McMahon sibling rivalry…but here’s Breezango to cut them off. Breeze thinks Sami and Kevin’s facial hair should be at least ten different violations, which sound like fighting words.

Fandango dropkicks Owens outside to start and it’s time for some fashion tickets. It’s also time for a break less than forty seconds in. Back with Fandango chopping Sami but Breeze gets caught in the wrong corner. The chinlock doesn’t last very long so Owens comes in and grabs one of his own. Naturally it’s a long one because no one breaks his chinlock. Breeze fights up with a DDT and the hot tag brings in Fandango. Everything breaks down and Fandango misses the Last Dance, allowing Owens to hit the Pop Up Powerbomb for the pin at 8:28.

Rating: D+. I can’t imagine we won’t be seeing Owens and Zayn again later, which is exactly what the story calls for in this case. They’re major thorns in Shane McMahon’s side and it would be the right call. This match gives them a logical reason to be in the building and unfortunately it comes at Breezango’s expense. The Fashion Files haven’t been on in a few weeks and I’m not sure where Breezango can go without them. They’re good in the ring but those segments made them into much bigger stars. Just let them wrestle a win a bit though.

The opening video looks at all of the show vs. show matches, which is really the only way to open up a show like this.

New Day vs. Shield

Now that’s an opener. Before the match, New Day accuses Shield of ripping off their invasion idea. Shield might be the big dogs but New Day is about to go Bob Barker on them. The dogs are going to bite themselves as we get closer to Wrestlemania season. New Day would never do that because New Day rocks. Before we get going, here’s another video on the Sieges for reasons of WWE needing to make sure to play it as many times as possible.

Dean and Kofi get things going with Ambrose getting the better of it and handing it off to Rollins. Big E. comes in as well but since Rollins isn’t over losing the NXT Title to him a few years back, he brings Reigns in instead. A shoulder puts Reigns down but he’s right back up with a leapfrog into a Samoan drop.

Ambrose tags himself in though and everything breaks down with Shield getting the better of it. New Day gets clotheslined out to the floor until Woods is dragged back in for a Unicorn Stampede. The hot tag brings in Kofi for some chops and the Boom Drop on Ambrose. The real Unicorn Stampede has Ambrose in trouble and Woods’ dropkick in the corner makes things even worse.

Everything breaks down again with Cole saying a brawl would go to New Day. Big E. spears Ambrose through the ropes as Rollins and Reigns just kind of stand around. Back in and Ambrose breaks up a belly to belly superplex, allowing the hot tag to Rollins. A quick Blockbuster takes Kingston down and a Sling Blade gets two. Reigns comes in for a running clothesline, followed by a Superman Punch to Woods.

Dean makes a blind tag and it’s the wind-up knee into Dirty Deeds for two on Kofi with Big E. making a save. Everything breaks down again and Big E. breaks up the TripleBomb. Reigns gets sent into the steps and Trouble in Paradise drops Rollins. Back in and Big E. gets on Woods’ shoulders so Kofi can jump over them for a splash. Big E. is dropped into a second splash but they have to cut Rollins off instead of covering.

In a scary power display, Big E. scoops up Ambrose and Rollins for a double Midnight Hour, only to have Reigns spear Big E. into his partners for the save. Both teams go to a corner and come out swinging, leaving Ambrose to hit Dirty Deeds on Big E. on the floor. The spear cuts Kofi in half…..and Roman goes up? A SUPER TRIPLEBOMB ends Kofi at 21:33.

Rating: B. Oh yeah it worked. Shield winning is far from shocking but New Day got in some serious offense. It makes sense to have Shield get the win here as they don’t actually have the big win since reforming. They were beating the heck out of each other here and that’s how this show needed to start. Good stuff.

Stephanie (of course) gives the Raw Women’s Team a pep talk. Basically she wants every member to be awesome.

Raw Women’s Team vs. Smackdown Women’s Team

Raw: Alicia Fox, Nia Jax, Bayley, Sasha Banks, Asuka

Smackdown: Becky Lynch, Carmella, Tamina, Natalya, Naomi

Asuka gets an especially big entrance, which is exactly what she deserves. Becky and Alicia start things up with Fox being sent into the corner and dropped face first onto the buckle. Bayley makes a blind tag though and comes in to grab a rollup on Lynch for the pin at 2:34. Tamina comes in and drives Bayley into the corner, only to have Asuka come in and fire off some kicks.

Alicia tags herself back in and the beatdown commences. A hard shot finally knocks Bayley into the corner but she knocks her way free without too much trouble. Carmella gets in a superkick to drop Bayley though and Tamina’s top rope splash is good for the pin at 5:22. Nia comes in to face Tamina in the hoss (What’s female for hoss?) battle, including the big headbutt exchange.

Tamina gets powered into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs, only to have Nia rip her Raw shirt off. A big charge runs Tamina over for two but a Lana distraction lets Tamina hit back to back superkicks. Naomi dives onto Nia and a third superkick keeps her on the floor. Tamina adds a crossbody from the steps and beats the count to get rid of Nia at 8:55. It’s off to Naomi to slug away on Fox but she misses the split legged moonsault. Instead it’s a sunset flip for two, which the referee counts as three anyway, for the pin at 10:30. Banks comes in for the Bank Statement to get rid of Naomi at 10:55.

So it’s Banks/Asuka vs. Natalya/Carmella/Tamina, which better wind up as an Asuka showcase. Asuka comes in with a series of strikes and the hip attack for two on Carmella. A quick Bronco Buster stuns Asuka but Carmella makes the mistake of slapping her in the face. One heck of a kick to the head gets rid of Carmella at 12:51. Banks comes back in and grabs a Bank Statement on Natalya with Tamina making a save. The Sharpshooter gets rid of Banks at 15:07 and it’s Asuka vs. Natalya/Tamina.

The double teaming begins in a hurry but Tamina misses the top rope splash. Asuka slaps on a cross armbreaker to make Tamina tap at 17:28 and the Sharpshooter is quickly reversed into a kneebar. That’s broken up with some kicks to the ribs but Asuka kicks her in the head. The Asuka Lock is good for the final submission at 18:18.

Rating: D. And that’s being generous. This was a complete mess with the first six or so eliminations (out of nine remember) being there for the sake of being there. Asuka should have eliminated four or even all five members but instead let’s have Tamina look awesome (for some reason) and people like Becky and Bayley treated as afterthoughts (again). Terribly booked match here and unfortunately, I’m not all that surprised given how this division tends to go.

Stephanie and Daniel Bryan bicker, drawing up memories of Wrestlemania XXX with Stephanie talking in that way that ONLY SHE EVER TALKS. This goes on way too long (after a way too long WWE Network ad) as it’s almost like they’re filling time on a four hour show.

Baron Corbin vs. The Miz

Non-title but this is US Champion vs. Intercontinental Champion. Miz’s wife Maryse is in the front row and Corbin looks down at her, sending Miz into a frenzy. They fight outside with Miz sending him into the barricade, only to have Corbin do the same. Of course the announcers completely ignore this to talk about the wrestlers trying to fire up their brands backstage.

Corbin gets in a right hand but Bo Dallas clips his knee and Miz takes over again. The Figure Four is broken up in a hurry and a one legged Deep Six gives Corbin a near fall. Corbin pulls Curtis Axel inside but has to kick out of a rollup. The short DDT gets two more and it’s time for the YES Kicks. Miz hits the running corner dropkick but charges into End of Days for the pin at 9:21.

Rating: C+. Better match than I was expecting here and I’m rather glad given the effort they actually put into the build. There wasn’t much of a story here but they did what they could to put one together. Corbin needed the win more than Miz did, even though I’m never a fan of a champion losing clean like this. Good match too.

Corbin says he just shut Miz up.

Paul Heyman isn’t worried about AJ Styles being phenomenal. AJ may be the most phenomenal wrestler of this generation but he’s up against a conqueror.

The Bar vs. Usos

Same deal as Miz vs. Corbin but with tag teams. Before the match, the Usos say if Sheamus and Cesaro are the Bar, they’re pole vaulters. Sheamus, now with white tips on his mohawk, drives Jimmy into the corner to start but the twins take him down without much effort. As Graves and Booker argue over Booker winning Tag Team Titles (as usual, I have no idea why this is going on), Cesaro comes in with an uppercut.

Jimmy knocks both of them off the apron but gets caught in a Regal Roll on the floor. Cesaro slaps on a chinlock as Cole compares Sheamus’ hair to the Red Rooster. Oh come on man that’s low. Sheamus gets two off the Irish Curse and Cesaro kicks Jey off the apron to prevent a hot tag attempt. The hot tag works a few seconds later though and Jey comes in to clean house.

A running Umaga Attack gets two on Cesaro but Sheamus cuts Jimmy off. That means a jumping uppercut to Jey and we hit the Cesaro Swing into the Sharpshooter. Sheamus Brogue Kicks Jimmy down so Jey has to crawl over to the ropes for the break. That just means a super White Noise for two as Jimmy dives in for the save. Cesaro loads up a powerbomb and Sheamus goes up, only to have Jey grab him for a Samoan drop as Cesaro plants him.

That’s good for two on Sheamus as I’m still trying to figure out why Cesaro would do that. An enziguri finally allows the hot tag to Jimmy, who cleans house in a hurry. He dives over the top onto Cesaro but tags out on the way, leaving Jey to hit the Superfly Splash for the pin on Sheamus at 15:55.

Rating: B. This was good (albeit maybe a bit less than you would have expected) but SWEET GOODNESS stop acting like Raw vs. Smackdown is life and death. No one cares about this save for one month out of the year and it’s just obnoxious to hear for the whole show, especially with the announcers acting like their lives are on the line with every near fall.

Jason Jordan isn’t happy with not being on Team Raw but hopes they win. After HHH is eliminated that is.

We look back at Charlotte winning the Smackdown Women’s Title on Tuesday.

Charlotte vs. Alexa Bliss

Champion vs. champion again. Bliss bails to the floor to start and then hides in the ropes to avoid a right hand. Charlotte gets her arm snapped down off the apron and Bliss takes over for the first time. Back in and we hit the armbar with a stomach claw but Charlotte reverses into a rollup. The kickout sends her hard into the corner, only to have Charlotte hit something like a fall away slam into the corner.

Bliss sends her into the corner again though, setting up a top rope double knee drop to the back for a scary landing. Code Red gives Bliss two but she can’t grab the DDT. Instead it’s a guillotine choke with Bliss nearly crying as she tries to make Charlotte tap. Charlotte powers up into a Batista Bomb for two more, followed by Natural Selection for the same.

The moonsault misses though and Bliss’ DDT gets another near fall with Charlotte getting her foot on the ropes. A bad looking spear drops Bliss for no cover so Alexa comes back with a dropkick to the ribs. Twisted Bliss hits knees though and the Figure Eight makes Bliss tap at 15:40.

Rating: B+. I know Bliss is considered one of the weaker workers but sweet goodness she’s gotten a lot better in the ring as of late. Bliss looked like she belonged in there with a proven star like Charlotte and that’s a lot more than anyone would have believed was possible a year or so ago. Really good match here and a big surprise.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. AJ Styles in the final champion vs. champion match. Styles won the title less than two weeks ago while Lesnar has held his since Wrestlemania. There isn’t much of a story here but the question is can AJ overcome the monster.

AJ Styles vs. Brock Lesnar

Non-title in an idea you should get by now. Heyman handles Brock’s Big Match Intro as only he can do. The fans are split here as AJ is smart enough to not rush in. That’s fine with Brock who scores with the shoulders in the corner. Styles gets knocked down in the corner again so Lesnar drags him across the ring by the hair. One heck of a suplex has Styles rocked again and the German suplex makes things even worse.

AJ gets dumped over the top in a heap and Lesnar throws him into the announcers’ table. Back in and Brock hits another release German suplex as this is completely one sided. A running knee in the corner keeps AJ rocked and a shot to the face drops him again. Brock: “FIGHT ME!” AJ slugs away to no avail as a knee cuts him down. The F5 is escaped though and Brock misses a knee in the corner. AJ scores with a DDT and gets a much needed breather.

They botch a tornado DDT with AJ being shoved off and both guys are down again. The Pele puts Lesnar down again but Brock is right back up with another German suplex. AJ sends him outside though and the slingshot forearm has Lesnar in more trouble. They’re doing really well with the hope spots here. Brock gets sent knee first into the steps and there’s another running forearm.

Back in and AJ hits a Lionsault of all things, followed by the springboard 450 for a close two. Another F5 is countered into the Calf Crusher but Lesnar rams Styles’ head into the match for the break. Well that works. The F5 is escaped for the third time and the Phenomenal Forearm is good for two. AJ goes outside one too many times though and it’s the F5 for the pin at 15:16.

Rating: B+. In a way I was hoping Jinder would interfere and cost AJ the match as I’m still not a fan of the champs getting pinned clean. At least it was to Lesnar and in a great match though. Lesnar was trying out there and that’s probably more than you would have expected had Jinder been the opponent. This was the match I was hoping for though so we’ll call this a solid win.

Long recap of the main event. Smackdown invaded Raw, then they invaded again, then Raw invaded Smackdown. Let’s have an all-star elimination match.

Raw Men’s Team vs. Smackdown Men’s Team

Raw: Kurt Angle, Finn Balor, Samoa Joe, HHH, Braun Strowman

Smackdown: Shane McMahon, Bobby Roode, John Cena, Randy Orton, Shinsuke Nakamura

Shane charges at Strowman (so much for Angle promising to start the match) and gets LAUNCHED across the ring, freaking Shane out. It’s off to Orton vs. Joe with a shoulder dropping Orton like he’s nothing. Neither finisher can hit and it’s time for a standoff. Balor comes in to face Nakamura in what could be classified as a dream match. The fans chant NXT and then what sounds like USA until Nakamura takes him against the ropes for the head on the chest.

Nakamura misses a kick and has to avoid a double stomp, giving us a standoff. HHH comes in to face Nakamura, who tells him to COME ON. A kick to the face drops HHH as Cole keeps referring to Nakamura as Shin. The facebuster is somewhat botched as HHH winds up on his back, meaning it’s off to Roode. The slugout goes to Roode until he walks into a spinebuster. Roode grabs one of his own but can’t hit the Glorious DDT.

Instead it’s Angle (complete with stars and stripes gloves) coming in to roll some German suplexes. Nakamura comes in, gets in a cheap shot on Strowman, and strikes away at Kurt without much effort. Joe and Balor get dropped as well before HHH’s Pedigree attempt is countered into another kick to the head. Strowman gets in but Nakamura scores with a middle rope knee. Not that it matters as the running powerslam eliminates Nakamura at 11:22.

Roode comes in next with the Blockbuster for no count as Braun kicks him away before one. A second attempt misses though and the second running powerslam makes it 5-3 at 12:22. Joe tags himself in and it’s time for an argument. Smackdown is smart enough to let HHH and Angle nearly come to blows until Orton breaks it up. Shane gets to slug it out with Joe but Orton powerslams Joe down. Everyone clears out until it’s Orton/Cena vs. Strowman for a heck of a showdown. Strowman gets knocked outside but Cena gets dropped with a single right hand.

It’s time to load up the announcers’ table but Shane comes over to help (along with Nakamura, who is still here for some reason) with a triple suplex to drive Strowman through. Joe (who, along with Strowman’s partners, didn’t fall into a hole somewhere) breaks up Shane’s elbow, only to have Cena come in for a running clothesline. A big boot puts Cena in the corner and the Rock Bottom out of the corner looks to finish him…..until Balor and Joe get in an argument. The AA plants both guys and a second gets rid of Joe at 18:04.

Angle comes in to face Cena with Kurt taking him down rather easily. The slugout draws the BOO/YAY chants and Cena scores with a ProtoBomb. Angle picks the ankle though and it’s an Angle Slam for two. The Coup de Grace sets up another Angle Slam and Cena is gone at 21:55. So it’s Orton/Shane vs. Strowman/Balor/HHH/Angle. Balor kicks away at Orton but makes sure to dropkick Shane into the barricade. Another shotgun dropkick looks to set up the Coup de Grace but Orton rolls away, setting up the RKO to get rid of Balor at 23:35.

HHH comes in and gets shoved into the ropes to crotch Angle on top. Cue Owens and Sami to go after Shane (as you knew was coming) but the boss fights them off with a chair. Strowman comes in to go after Orton and the running powerslam makes it 3-1 at 26:35. Shane is all alone now and stays on the floor with no counting from the referee. Strowman is waiting on Shane until HHH tags himself in instead. Cole thinks brother vs. brother-in-law is the MOST AMAZING THING HE’S SEEN IN THE LAST FIVE MINUTES but Angle tags himself in instead.

A Russian legsweep gets two on Angle and the jumping back elbow gets the same. There’s the Angle Slam into the ankle lock with Shane looking at the ropes and then crawling back into the middle of the ring. And then HHH breaks it up and Pedigrees Angle to give Shane the pin at 32:02. Strowman stares HHH down as Shane is holding his ankle. That’s about it though as HHH Pedigrees Shane for the pin at 34:18.

Rating: D. Well that was awful. Much like in the women’s match, most of the people were just there to fill in spots while the stars (read as the old people) were all that mattered. They had me believing that Shane might be the sole survivor out there and somehow, that wasn’t the most impossible thing in the world. This was terrible for the most part, outside of the opening ten minutes or so where they were just doing crazy combinations. After that though, this was ALL about Raw and the McMahons looking awesome, which was the last thing this show needed to do. Really bad booking to what should have been awesome.

Post match HHH celebrates as Strowman looks confused. Strowman grabs him by the throat and chokes him in the corner, telling HHH to never try to play him again. A Pedigree attempt is swatted away and back to back running powerslams end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. So to recap, the elimination matches were awful and everything else ranged from very good to awesome. It’s like they know the one big idea they want to go with (Asuka looking awesome, which worked, and whatever the ending to that main event was, which didn’t work) but have no idea how to get there. The booking was all over the place tonight and that made for a very trying evening at times.

However, the good stuff, which thankfully was a lot more common than the bad, was quite good with the champion vs. champion matches all delivering, plus a very solid Shield vs. New Day match. It made for a good theme to the show, despite the rather annoying build that it took to get there. That word annoying brings us to the real problem with this show.

The commentary tonight might have been the most annoying I’ve ever heard it be, including the days of heel Michael Cole. All night long it was this stupid “my show is better than your show” nonsense which adds nothing to the show and feels like they’re just running their mouths for the sake of an idea. It came off like forcing a concept into the show and that got old in about five minutes. Saxton was annoying, Booker sounded stupid, and Cole put on his old cheerleading uniform. It was a major problem, though thankfully not enough to knock a good show off course.

Results

Shield b. New Day – Super TripleBomb to Kingston

Raw Women’s Team b. Smackdown Women’s Team – Asuka Lock to Natalya

Baron Corbin b. The Miz – End of Days

Usos b. The Bar – Superfly Splash to Sheamus

Charlotte b. Alexa Bliss – Figure Eight

Brock Lesnar b. AJ Styles – F5

Raw Men’s Team b. Smackdown Men’s Team – Pedigree to McMahon

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




ECW On Sci Fi – June 13, 2006 (Series Debut, 2020 Redo): The One With The Zombie

IMG Credit: WWE

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: June 13, 2006
Location: Sovereign Bank Arena, Trenton, New Jersey
Attendance: 5,100
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s a big night as ECW makes its official return after a five year absence, but this time around they’re officially under the WWE banner. They had a heck of a show at One Night Stand, but other than Big Show, Rob Van Dam and Kurt Angle, I’m not sure what to expect on a regular basis. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of One Night Stand, headlined by Rob Van Dam winning the WWE Championship from John Cena under some less than logical circumstances and thanks to Edge’s help. Cena and Edge are here tonight.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Paul Heyman with something in his arms to introduce Rob Van Dam. Rob is rather pleased to have won and holds up the title, which now has no name plate at all (that’s better than the Cena one from Raw). As for Cena, Van Dam hopes he’s here to help them all celebrate. Heyman hopes so too, because he has a gift for Van Dam: the ECW World Title, which he always hoped he would hold (they why….never mind). Van Dam calls it a great honor for his career but wants to keep the WWE Title too. Rob: “It spins.”

Cue Edge and Lita, with Edge thanking Heyman for letting him be here and saying he respects Van Dam. They both won Money in the Bank and now they’ll tear the house down at Vengeance. Then he spears Van Dam in half and leaves through the crowd with Lita. As luck would have it, John Cena is there too and he knocks Edge back to ringside.

Cena and Van Dam take turns beating on Edge but get in an argument of their own, allowing Edge to leave. That earns Heyman a right hand and Cena goes after Edge, with the ECW locker room showing up quite a bit late. This felt like a Raw opening with an ECW sticker slapped on and that doesn’t bode well. It felt like WWE instead of ECW and little good can come of that for this show.

Post break Heyman gives the locker room the big pep talk and promises that they’re coming to Raw on Monday.

The Zombie vs. Sandman

And here’s your infamous moment of the show, as we have a zombie because the show is on the Sci Fi network. Commentary buries the idea as Zombie gurgles into a microphone. Sandman comes through the crowd (no cigarettes of course but he does drink the beer). A bunch of cane shots and a White Russian legsweep finishes Zombie in less than a minute. Barely a match, but it shows you that this show is in trouble.

We meet Kelly, who is an exhibitionist. That means she is going to take off all of her clothes tonight. So now we’re channeling Vince Russo on ECW?

We see the entire Jerry Lawler vs. Tazz segment from One Night Stand (minus Tazz’s entrance), which to be fair isn’t all that long.

Kurt Angle vs. Justin Credible

Angle takes him to the mat in a hurry and hits him in the face before pulling back on the neck. There’s a German suplex and Credible is sent outside. Back in and Angle grounds him again for some slaps to the back of the head. A rear naked choke finishes Credible in a hurry. Total destruction.

Post match Angle accepts Randy Orton’s challenge for Vengeance.

Heyman says he’s throwing out the rest of the show and making a ten man EXTREME battle royal. All weapons are legal and the winner gets to face John Cena at Vengeance.

Kelly promises to show us all of her assets next.

We see the marquee outside of the arena and we have a vampire.

We look back at the opening segment.

Here’s Kelly to go onto a platform and dance. Some of her clothes come off but she can’t unhook her bra. Instead she pulls it up and puts her hands over her chest before…just walking away.

Battle Royal

Tommy Dreamer, Sabu, Balls Mahoney, Little Guido, Al Snow, Danny Doring, Roadkill, Stevie Richards, Tony Mamaluke, Big Show, Big Guido

Weapons are provided, the winner gets John Cena at Vengeance and the FBI debuts a rather scantily clad manager who doesn’t get a name yet. Show clears the ring to star but doesn’t actually eliminate anyone, which is kind of impressive in a battle royal. We take a break and come back with no eliminations and the weapons being brought in. Tazz: “This is what makes us better than them.” Sabu sets up a table at ringside as a bunch of people get in some weapon shots on Show.

The big Head shot doesn’t work as Show tosses Snow out before doing the same to Doring. There go Richards, Roadkill and Mahoney but Dreamer slows Show down with cookie sheet shots. Show catches Air Sabu and sends him to the apron before tossing Dreamer out and through the table. Big Show chokeslams Little Guido onto Mamaluke and dumps both of them. We’re down to Big Guido, Show and Sabu with Show dumping Guido in a hurry. Guido holds the arm though and a running chair shot knocks Show out to give Sabu the win.

Rating: D. I can’t say I’m surprised as this was the WWE definition of an extreme/weapons match all the way. You had your usual trashcans, chairs, cookie sheets and a table and nothing more, because this was all about Big Show with Sabu coming in to steal the win. It also doesn’t help that outside of Sabu, the ECW originals were treated like small obstacles who were there for Big Show to hurt.

Overall Rating: F. No, in every sense of the word. I wasn’t an ECW fan (too young, didn’t get to see it, not the right demographic, not my style) and I wasn’t wild on it being brought back in the first place, but this had almost nothing to do with ECW. This show felt like they put together a supplemental show for Raw, remembered they needed to have ECW involved, and then added in a zombie and a vampire to have something sci fi included.

This was a terrible show and had nothing to do with ECW other than three letters. The Raw segment and the Raw wrestlers were treated as the stars around here while ECW were a bunch of people who happened to be on the secondary Raw show. Absolutely awful here and if this is what they’re doing, just change the name to WWE Super Duper Show or something close to it because that’s what we’re getting.

You can’t recreate the original ECW. It was the right product for the right time in front of the right audience. That was ten years ago though and now, especially with these resources available, you can’t have the same feeling, or really anything close to it. Having people like Big Show and Van Dam and Angle gives it star power, but two of those three people are WWE stars who feel like they are being loaned out to ECW. I completely get why they used the ECW name, but other than those three letters, this is not going to be ECW, nor is it going to be close. Now I get why that might be appealing to some, but this was awful.




One Night Stand 2006 (2020 Redo): Another Kind Of Show

IMG Credit: WWE

One Night Stand 2006
Date: June 11, 2006
Location: Hammerstein Ballroom, New York City, New York
Attendance: 2,460
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s time for another ECW show, but this one is a good bit different than what we had last year. While last year’s show was a seemingly stand alone reunion, this is more of a launchpad for the ECW relaunch. The big main event is Rob Van Dam cashing in his Money in the Bank contract for the WWE Title shot but there is also a heck of a grudge tag match between Mick Foley/Edge vs. Terry Funk/Tommy Dreamer. Let’s get to it.

Here’s a very emotional Paul Heyman to get things going. He thanks the wrestlers who wanted to be hardcore instead of a superstar and declares that the tribe of extreme has risen again. This time the Kool-Aid is being poured down the throats of a new generation because they’re back on TV (Heyman: “With a much better deal than we had last time.”) this week on Sci-Fi. This is all because of the fans and Heyman thanks every single one of them. We wrap it up with this show being better than Raw and Smackdown because it’s the only way to finish something like this. You could see how much this means for him and it’s great.

Opening sequence with that still awesome ECW On TNN song.

Tazz vs. Jerry Lawler

Lawler comes out with that great evil grin of his and you know he’s loving this kind of a reaction. He does make sure to go over and slap Joey Styles (I’d cheer for that), who jumps into the ring to choke Lawler. That’s broken up so Lawler tries the piledriver, earning himself the Tazmission for the choke out in about thirty seconds. Exactly what it should have been and probably had to be given Tazz’s health issues.

We look at WWE vs. ECW Head To Head with Big Show joining ECW in a nice surprise.

Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton

Orton’s entrance gets pyro and Joey is aghast at the great heel touch. Angle gets a heck of a reception of his own. Orton bails to the floor after Orton tries to go low on him, causing the fans to call him a certain nickname for a cat. Back in and the early stages of an ankle lock sends Orton right back to the floor as he can’t figure out how to start here. This time around Orton gets headlocked takeover as the fans chant F*** YOU ORTON.

Back up and Orton bails to the floor again as the fans are all over him for the fourteenth time. Orton heads back in and gets smacked in the face, which the fans describe as being B**** SLAPPED. Angle takes him down on the mat again and then offers Orton his head for a headlock. That just earns Orton a belly to back suplex as Angle is toying with him. Angle misses a charge into the post though and Orton finally gets a chance.

The fans implore Angle to F*** HIM UP so he slams Orton down without much effort. A hard whip into the corner cuts Angle down again and a knee drop gets two. Orton fights out of a choke attempt as the fans say he swallows. The chinlock keeps Angle down and the fans immediately dub it boring. Angle fights up and sends him into the corner, setting up the German suplex to a big pop. They trade uppercuts until Angle rolls the German suplexes to put Orton down again.

Orton’s dropkick gets two but the Angle Slam gets the same. Fans: “BREAK HIS ANKLE!” The ankle lock is broken up in a hurry and Orton’s backbreaker is good for two more. Orton goes up top for the high crossbody but Angle rolls through for another near fall. A clothesline blasts Angle but he counters a cradle into the grapevine ankle lock for the tap.

Rating: B. I know Orton might not be the most popular guy but he’s capable of having some very good matches when he’s in there with the right person. Angle is on a roll at this point though and this was the Wrestling Machine version. I know he’s an outsider and such, but Angle has so much intensity that you can believe he’s all in on ECW. I bought it and they had a pretty great match to really start the show off.

The fans are ALL OVER Orton as he is carried out.

FBI vs. Super Crazy/Tajiri

It’s Little Guido/Tony Mamaluke with Big Guido for the FBI. Well at least it’s not losing to Vito in a dress on Smackdown. Mamaluke goes for Crazy’s arm to start and then flips over with a hammerlock as Joey goes into his “I get to call moves now” deal. Crazy hiptosses Mamaluke down as we hit the NACHO LIBRE chants. Mamaluke grabs a short armscissors but Crazy powers him up and hits a big faceplant. Guido and Tajiri come in and it’s time to start the rapid fire (and hard) kicks.

The Fujiwara armbar has Tajiri in the ropes but he’s right back up to crank on the leg for a bit. Guido gets put in the Tree of Woe so Mamaluke comes in for the save, only to get tied up as well. Crazy and Tajiri hit the stereo dropkicks to send the FBI to the floor and Crazy hits the Asai moonsault. Big Guido jumps Crazy though and the little one sends him into the barricade. Back in and Crazy tries a backdrop but holds the leg a bit, making it a backdrop/flapjack combination.

After that near disaster, Mamaluke holds Crazy in face for a hard dropkick from Guido. Crazy is fine enough to hit a regular flapjack for the hot tag to Tajiri. Guido has to save Mamaluke from a Black Widow so Tajiri starts kicking everyone down. The FBI are whipped into each other and it’s a pair of Tarantulas. Big Guido comes in and gets kicked down just as fast, only to have Crazy get kicked out to the floor. A double fisherman’s buster finishes Tajiri.

Rating: C+. These guys worked well back in ECW and they still have it here. They had a fast paced match with Big Guido offering just enough interference to keep Tajiri and Crazy looking strong in defeat. There’s a reason that these matches were so popular back in the day and they still work well here.

Post match here’s Big Show to clean out all three Italians in a hurry.

Here’s JBL in the balcony to run down ECW as only he can. JBL talks about how Rob Van Dam is only becoming a star because of Vince McMahon and ECW is going to the Sci-Fi channel. Tazz is going with them, but he’s lucky to be leaving because JBL is going to be taking Tazz’s place on the Smackdown commentary team. JBL is perfect for this and much like Heyman, you can feel that he believes a lot of what he is saying.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Sabu

Mysterio is defending and it’s under Extreme Rules. They both have chairs during the Big Match Intros but the referee makes them put them down for some reason. Instead Sabu goes for the leg to start but then they come to their senses and grab the chairs. After a quick duel, Mysterio gets sent into the corner for Air Sabu. Mysterio does the same thing into a hurricanrana but it’s too early for the 619.

Instead Sabu chairs him to the floor and it’s already time for a table. Sabu bridges it between the apron and the ring but Rey is back up with a top rope moonsault press back inside. Rey gets caught in the ropes though and Sabu hits a quick top rope legdrop for two more. The Arabian Facebuster gets two so Sabu sets up another table at ringside, only to get caught with a springboard seated senton through the wood.

Rey seems a little banged up as well but he’s fine enough for a springboard Fameasser for two. Back up and Sabu hits a springboard leg lariat into the Triple Jump Moonsault (mainly landing on Rey’s face) for two more. Rey tries another 619 but gets a chair pelted at his head instead. Sabu puts him on the table and Rey stands up, meaning it’s a running springboard DDT through the table….and here are the officials to say the match is thrown out.

Rating: B-. A no contest stoppage. In ECW. Meaning Mysterio can’t even win in another promotion. It’s kind of a shame as they were having a heck of a match until the end but at the same time, do you really want to risk Sabu being out there that much longer? The Mysterio stuff is what it is and while you knew Sabu wasn’t going to win the title, maybe it shouldn’t be booked in the first place to avoid Mysterio not winning either.

We recap Mick Foley/Edge vs. Terry Funk/Tommy Dreamer. Foley and Edge had a hardcore classic at Wrestlemania so they joined forces and declared themselves co-Hardcore Champions. Foley then ran down the history of ECW, saying that he and Edge had surpassed anything that they had ever done. Terry Funk came out and stood up for both hardcore and to Foley, who saw him as a father figure. Since ECW was mentioned, Dreamer came as the story’s pack-in wrestler so it’s time for a tag match.

Before the match, Foley comes out to soak in the YOU SOLD OUT chants. Foley says he did indeed sell out…Madison Square Garden. He did used to love ECW when it was led by a visionary: Stephanie McMahon. Foley: “LONG LIVE THE ALLIANCE!” Edge and Lita come out with Edge saying this is ECW’s Christmas, and just like Santa Claus, all of their fans are old, fat and bald. Lita says Funk and Dreamer are the innovator of silence. Lita says when she sat on Dreamer’s face for the pin, it was the most action Dreamer has ever gotten, even from that woman of his.

Tommy Dreamer/Terry Funk vs. Mick Foley/Edge

Extreme Rules. Lita is here so Beulah McGillicutty is out with Dreamer and Funk. Before the match, Beulah says that she’s shocked to see what comes out of Lita’s mouth being worse than what goes into it. Since Lita likes threesomes, let’s make this a six person tag.

Tommy Dreamer/Terry Funk/Beulah McGillicutty vs. Edge/Mick Foley/Lita

Extreme Rules. Dreamer and Edge grapple to no avail so it’s off to Funk to slap Foley around a bit. Everything breaks down and Dreamer gets to spit some beer into the air while Funk hammers Foley against the barricade. It’s time to bring in the weapons with Dreamer and Funk cleaning house in a hurry. Foley unloads with right hands against the barricade and Edge ladders Dreamer in the face. The spear into the ladder is countered with a hiptoss though and Funk comes back in with the helicopter ladder.

Funk goes up but gets shoved down for the huge crash. Lita kicks Dreamer low to break up the Death Valley Driver so the fans dub her a crack w****. It’s time for the barbed wire board and Dreamer is slammed down onto it, with his arm being caught in it for a nasty visual. Edge and Foley pick it up but Funk trips them down, sending the wire face first into Foley’s face. Foley gets sent head first into the board but Edge is back up to crotch Dreamer onto the barricade.

Funk gets crushed with the barbed wire board and Foley wraps some wire around his arm. With Funk caught in the wire, Foley cuts the head open so Funk can crawl around and scream as only he can. Medics come out to get Funk to the back and it’s down to 3-2. Foley busts out the barbed wire baseball bat so Lita can drop a leg onto the bat between Dreamer’s legs. The fans want Sandman as Beulah is actually standing on the apron and reaching for a tag.

That’s so dumb that it’s downright adorable. Wanting more in on the fun, Foley drags Beulah in, sending Dreamer into a fit of violence. That earns him a Mandible Claw into the spear but Edge goes over to Beulah instead. Edge grabs a rather suggestive pumphandle on Beulah but here’s Funk with a barbed wire 2×4. The distraction lets Dreamer get in a double low blow and Funk starts wrecking things. That’s not good enough though so, as Bubba Ray Dudley said, why don’t we just light it on fire?

Using the flaming 2×4 wrapped in barbed wire (geez), Funk knocks Foley off the apron and through the barbed wire board, sending a bunch of people with fire extinguishers to put him out. Edge knocks Funk onto the barbed wire as well though, leaving Dreamer to DDT Edge down. Dreamer chokes Edge with the barbed wire as the women get in the catfight. The Death Valley Driver plants Lita but Edge barb wires Dreamer too. The spear with a rather suggestive cover finishes Beulah.

Rating: B+. I liked this way more than I was expecting to as they beat the heck out of each other and the women made things a little bit better. Foley was turning back the clock a bit here and Funk continues to be more and more amazing every time I watch him. There’s something so great and completely unique about him that you can’t take your eyes off of him no matter what he’s doing. Great stuff throughout.

Commentary is impressed as Funk has to be taken out of the wire and looks more annoyed than anything else.

Balls Mahoney vs. Masato Tanaka

Tanaka has a bad shoulder coming in but is fine enough to take Mahoney down with an early armbar. A running forearm in the corner rocks Mahoney, who comes right back out with a powerslam for two. The BALLS punches have the fans chanting along, with Joey comparing it to the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Fair enough actually.

They head outside with Mahoney grabbing a beer and hitting Tanaka in the head. Tanaka sends him into the barricade (near a fan with a PORK sign) and hits a superplex back inside. Mahoney hits one of his own for two and it’s time for a chair duel. Tanaka’s shot misses though and Mahoney chairs him in the head for the pin.

Rating: C-. The ending made me cringe and this was nothing more than a filler match between the two main events but it worked out fine. Mahoney was popular with the fans and Tanaka almost had to be on the show after last year’s great match with Mike Awesome. Good enough match here and it did what it was supposed to do.

We recap Rob Van Dam vs. John Cena for the Raw World Title. Van Dam won Money in the Bank and is cashing in on some friendly grounds as he tries to jump up to the next level. Cena is ready to come into enemy territory and this might be a bit of a rough night for him.

The ring announcer sets up the main event…but here’s Eugene to interrupt and say he loves ECW. His uncle Eric Bischoff used to tell him that he was as smart of an ECW fan. The fans aren’t pleased, which he thinks is a U for EUGENE chant. Eugene even has a poem about how much he loves ECW (“I want to hug all of you and I want a picnic with Sabu!”)….and here’s a rather ticked off Sandman (minus Enter Sandman, which takes away a lot of the impact) to can him beyond all logical necessity.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Rob Van Dam

Cena is defending under Extreme Rules and OH MY GOODNESS THE HATRED IS STRONG. The fans boo Cena so far out of the building, with the famous IF CENA WINS WE RIOT banner making it all the more perfect (mainly because these people would in fact riot). Cena tries to throw the shirt to the crowd but they throw it back four times, making him seem a little shaken, which you don’t see too often (then again, you don’t see a crowd like this very often either).

This is a level of hatred you don’t see very often but thankfully Van Dam does the finger pointing to get the focus off of Cena a bit. The fans throw toilet paper at Cena as the bell rings and there’s the YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chant. Cena gets a quick two off a fisherman’s suplex but the chants continue. Van Dam is back with a spinning kick to the face and the fans give him a WHOLE F***ING SHOW chant.

Back in the BOO/YAY punches are on with Cena knocking Van Dam outside. Fans: “SAME OLD S***!” Cena follows with a top rope ax handle to the floor and the fans still aren’t impressed. Since he knows how to be a bit of a heel when he wants to be, Cena holds up the title but Van Dam kicks him away. A moonsault off the apron brings up the RVD chants again but another one off the barricade is shoved into the crowd.

Cena does the bravest thing in his career by following him out but Van Dam is right back with the spinning kick to the back over the barricade. Van Dam hits the slingshot legdrop on the apron and there’s the skateboard dropkick to drive a chair into Cena’s face. Rolling Thunder onto a chair onto Cena gets two but Cena gets the chair up to block the split legged moonsault. The YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants start up again as Cena wedges a chair in the corner.

Van Dam goes head first into said chair for two and Cena rubs the salt in with the Shuffle. The FU takes too long though and Rob scores with a spinwheel kick. Rob drops him onto the apron and hits a dropkick to the floor for another knockdown. It’s table time but Cena pulls him down into the STFU. The rope is grabbed, sending Cena into a shoving match because rope breaks shouldn’t matter here.

Cena decks the referee and throws in some steps to get more violent. A shot to the head gets two from a Smackdown referee but here’s a guy in a motorcycle helmet to spear Cena through a table in the corner. Of course it’s Edge and Rob is back up with the Five Star, with Paul Heyman running in to count the pin to give Van Dam the title.

Rating: B+. This is a great example of a match that is carried even higher by the crowd reaction. The fans hated Cena and everything he represented, which made things that much better. They had a really good match on their own but the crowd reaction took it to another level. On top of that, it was a heck of a match because the two of them are able to bring it on the big stage under the bright lights. They had a lot of things going on here, and that’s how it should be in an ECW moment. Good stuff, and the only ending they could have had.

Rob is announced as the new ECW Champion and the huge celebration is on. The locker room comes out to celebrate with the champ as Heyman looks very pleased to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. All of the ECW stuff aside, this was a heck of a show and one of the better things that WWE has had in a long time. This felt more like a WWE show with a twist than an ECW show and in this case, that worked out well. Instead of having the ECW centered show, they focused on bringing WWE together with ECW and turned into something a lot more unique as a result. I really liked this one and it gives me hope for the ECW relaunch, though it’s going to be hard to top what they did here.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2005 (2020 Redo): Uh, Spoiler?

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2005
Date: November 27, 2005
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 15,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman, Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s all about Raw vs. Smackdown as the big elimination tag is all that matters around here. That’s in addition to the Raw World Title match, which should be another good but not exactly thrilling showdown. I’m not sure what to expect for most of the show, but that elimination tag is the centerpiece of the show. Let’s get to it.

The opening sequence is almost all about Raw vs. Smackdown, as it should be.

Booker T. vs. Chris Benoit

Match #1 in a best of seven series for the vacant US Title. Benoit gets backed into the corner to start and it’s a surprisingly clean break. Booker slams him down but Benoit pops back up for a standoff. Some forearms puts Booker on the floor and we’re still in low first gear. They go to the mat with Benoit easily getting the better of things and cranking on the leg to limited success.

That’s enough for Booker to take another breather on the floor. Back in and Booker elbows him in the face so Benoit hits him with a running forearm. That just earns Benoit a side slam for two and the armbar goes on. Make that an abdominal stretch but Benoit fights out again and hits an elbow. Booker elbows him into the corner and gets two off a neckbreaker.

A reverse chinlock doesn’t last long so Booker goes with the jumping kick to the face instead. Benoit grabs a quick dragon screw legwhip but the Sharpshooter is countered into a small package for two. The rolling German suplexes work a bit better but Sharmell’s distraction delays the Swanton, allowing Booker to roll away. A rollup with feet on the ropes and Sharmell grabbing the leg is enough for Booker to get the pin.

Rating: B. This was better than their Smackdown match as they were able to build things up a bit better. It’s a good way to start off the show, though it’s not like these matches matter all that much until we get to what is more than likely going to be a seventh match. That sounds good in theory, but it wouldn’t surprise me to see the match get a little boring by that point.

Eric Bischoff meets with Vince McMahon in the back and talks about the history of screwjobs at Survivor Series. Tonight, Bischoff Screws Cena. Cue Cena: “So Eric Bischoff screws guys.” Bischoff leaves and Cena shakes Vince’s hand. In a legendary line, Vince: “Keep it up my n****.” Vince struts off as Booker and Sharmell look flabbergasted. I can’t believe this is uncensored on the Network.

Women’s Title: Melina vs. Trish Stratus

Trish is defending and this is interpromotional after Melina and MNM kidnapped Trish on Raw. Mickie James and Melina are here as well. Trish jumps her to start and sends Melina outside for the big dive onto all three of them. Back in and a hair toss sends Melina down and the headscissors does the same. Melina gets in a knee to the back and a kick to the ribs.

They trade boot chokes in the corner and but Melina goes after Mickie, leaving MNM to try the Snapshot on Trish. That’s broken up by a referee actually paying attention and the two of them are ejected. We hit a modified surfboard, which I’m sure is not just an excuse to put Trish in various positions. The Matrish is broken up with a shot to the ribs for two but the Stratusphere works just fine. Stratusfaction is broken up but Mickie saves Trish from a cheap shot to the back. A top rope bulldog retains the title.

Rating: D+. There was only so much you could do here as there is no secret to the fact that this is setting up Mickie challenging Trish for the title at some point in the future. Melina hadn’t gotten good in the ring yet so for now she’s glorified eye candy who can do a passable match. In other words, she’s a traditional Diva of the era.

We recap HHH vs. Ric Flair in a Last Man Standing match. Flair beat him last month in a cage match so now it’s about ending each other in the way WWE ends people.

HHH vs. Ric Flair

Non-title and Last Man Standing. HHH jumps him in the aisle and the beating is on in a hurry with Flair’s robe and belt being ripped off. Flair gets in a kendo stick to the ribs (Flair using a kendo stick is just wrong) and they head into the crowd with HHH managing to backdrop him back to ringside. A suplex has Flair in more trouble inside and the pace slows a bit.

They go outside again and a screwdriver to the head busts Flair open in a hurry. Back in and some kneedrops make the blood flow even more and it’s already back to the floor. HHH takes too long setting up the announcers’ table though and Flair sends him face first into the steps. A spinebuster on the floor cuts Flair off again though as this has been one hope spot after another with HHH dropping him every time. HHH grabs a microphone to yell but Flair grabs him low.

That earns him a trip into the announcers’ table but Flair backdrops him through the other one in the first really big spot of the match. HHH is up at eight so Flair takes him back inside for some chops. Some right hands put Flair down as well so he hits HHH low to even things up. A chair to the head puts HHH down and Flair bites at the head, followed by a crotching against the post.

The chop block takes HHH down again but the Figure Four is broken up. Flair doesn’t seem to mind as he wraps the knee around the post and smashes it with a chair. NOW the Figure Four can go on and Flair even grabs the rope for a bonus. HHH taps so Flair can claim a bit of a moral victory and the hold is let go. A shot to the face knocks Flair into the corner and the steps to the head give HHH five.

There’s the drop toehold to send HHH face first into the steps but he staggers up and hits a Pedigree. Flair pulls himself up so there’s a second Pedigree. He’s up again so they hit the same sequence one more time. Flair gets to his feet a third time so it’s a sledgehammer shot to the….something well hidden by a camera cut but it’s finally enough to finish Flair off.

Rating: B. It’s good but it’s nowhere near as good as the cage match. As usual, the ending didn’t work very well as they were just doing the same stuff over and over again until a big hammer shot put Flair down. Thankfully they didn’t waste a lot of time with the near falls throughout the match, which are always annoying in a match like this. It wasn’t great and it should have been shorter but it worked well enough.

Randy Orton and JBL try to fire up Team Smackdown but Batista comes in and takes care of it for them.

Here are Edge and Lita for a chat. They’re changing things up around here because they are going to have their own talk show with the Cutting Edge. With that out of the way, Edge calls out Detroit Tiger Dmitri Young, who plays for a bad team and is fat you see. Detroit sports jokes abound but Young asks about Edge’s World Title. Edge and Lita are out of here, just like Ford and GM.

We recap John Cena vs. Kurt Angle. Kurt has beaten him a few times but never for the title so now he has Daivari as his personal referee. It’s the final showdown and this should be a good one.

Raw World Title: Kurt Angle vs. John Cena

Cena is defending and Daivari is guest referee. The place goes coconuts for Cena as the star power continues to rise. Angle wastes no time in taking him down by the leg and cranks on the ankle a bit. Some shoulders put Angle on the floor and DANG the fans are into Cena. Daivari won’t let him go after Angle though and things settle down a bit. Back in and Angle stomps him down in the corner until Cena snaps off a release fisherman’s suplex.

That’s not even worthy of a count so Angle grabs the ankle lock. Cena makes the rope so Daivari kicks his hand away. With that not working, Cena kicks him away and slaps Daivari in the face. Daivari is ready for the DQ but Angle gets sent into him for the double knockdown. Angle posts Cena and another referee comes down to count two. Some suplexes give Angle some twos and we hit the waistlock. Another suplex drops Cena again and the fans get even louder.

It’s off to the weird cousin of an STF on Cena but Angle switches to a regular chinlock pretty quickly. Cena suplexes his way to freedom and the comeback is on….so Angle clotheslines the referee on purpose. A low blow drops Cena and the Angle Slam gets two from the third referee. Angle’s top rope superplex gets two more but he misses the moonsault. The FU is broken up and Angle decks the third referee so here’s one from Smackdown. Angle tries to hold him back as Cena DDTs Daivari and then FU’s Angle to retain.

Rating: C+. They had a good match in there somewhere but egads they had too much going on at the same time here. When you have a fourth referee climbing over the three down referees, you’re only going to get so far. Cena needs a fresh opponent now as he’s beaten Angle more than once now so just let him do something else. That being said, who is there right now?

Eric Bischoff vs. Teddy Long

Palmer Cannon is here with Teddy and there is a referee from both shows. Long posts to start and then ducks a clothesline, meaning it’s time to dance. With that out of the way, it’s more dancing and the required crane pose. Cannon gets drawn onto the apron and Bischoff gets in some choking. A sleeper goes on until Long takes off his own shoe and hits Eric in the head. Eric is ticked….and we’ve got the Boogeyman. Choking into a pumphandle slam drops Bischoff and the one shoed Long gets the pin.

Rating: D-. Teddy’s dancing is the only thing that keeps this from failing because it always makes me smile. This was a complete waste of time but they had to have something in there to stretch the show out a bit. It wasn’t a match of course but what else were you expecting out of something like this?

Both teams get cheered to the ring by their locker rooms.

We recap Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown. Back at Homecoming, Bischoff turned out the lights on a Smackdown six man tag so a bunch of invasions started happening. Therefore, let’s have an elimination tag for brand supremacy.

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Raw: Shawn Michaels, Kane, Big Show, Carlito, Chris Masters

Smackdown: Batista, Bobby Lashley, John Bradshaw Layfield, Randy Orton, Rey Mysterio

Entrances take forever of course and Rey gets some very loud EDDIE chants. Orton takes Shawn into the corner to start and then does it again for a bonus. Shawn gets in a whip to the other corner to set up some chops as commentary is already bickering. Orton gets in a slam but misses the knee drop so it’s off to Masters. The knee the face works fine on him but it’s quickly off to Lashley, who tosses Masters around.

Carlito gets the tag so Lashley pulls him in and hits a running powerslam for two. It’s back to Shawn, who gets knocked down as well. There’s the Dominator to Carlito but Kane saves Shawn from the same fate. A Kane chokeslam from the apron lets Shawn get rid of Lashley, who wasn’t nearly the factor you would have bet on after the last few weeks. Rey comes in and dropkicks Shawn in the knee as Cole says he’d love to see this dream match. I know he has a short attention span but he can’t remember something from less than two weeks ago?

Kane comes in and gets dropkicked down but is right back up for a big boot. A backbreaker gets two on Rey and we hit the backbreaker. Rey fights out in a hurry though and it’s off to Batista for the shoulders in the corner. A spear into the spinebuster gets rid of Kane but here’s Show for an immediate chokeslam. That’s good for two but Kane is back up for a double chokeslam to get rid of Batista. JBL’s middle rope shoulder is pulled out of the air by Big Show but Orton snaps his throat across the top.

The Clothesline From JBL into the 619 into the RKO into another Clothesline From JBL into the springboard seated senton FINALLY gets rid of Big Show and we’re down to 3-3. Everything breaks down and JBL hits Shawn with a fall away slam on the floor as Masters plants Rey. Carlito comes in for a legdrop and the chinlock goes on. Rey fights up and gets a blind tag from JBL, who blasts Carlito with the Clothesline for the pin.

Masters comes in next and gets hammered down as Shawn is still out on the floor. Rey comes back in and avoids a charge into the post, setting up the 619. Dropping the Dime gets rid of Masters and it’s down to Shawn vs. Orton/Mysterio/JBL. Rey throws Shawn back in and hits the 619 but the West Coast Pop is Sweet Chin Musiced out of the air for the pin. JBL tries the Clothesline but Shawn ducks and superkicks him out for the back to back pins in about fifteen seconds.

That leaves us with Shawn vs. Orton but neither finisher can hit. Orton bails to the floor so Shawn hits a slingshot dive as the fans want Undertaker. Back in and Shawn hits the forearm into the nipup but JBL is still here and brings in a chair. That earns him another superkick but Shawn walks into the RKO for the final pin.

Rating: B. This was good enough and was absolutely the main event of the show. Even though this was for completely meaningless bragging rights, it worked this time because that was something fresh. It’s the difference between doing it once and doing it every year: this time felt like they had built something up instead of throwing it out there because it was November. It also helps when you have Shawn at his best playing the underdog and Orton being great at this match. This nearly identical formula worked in 2003 and it worked here too.

Post match the Smackdown locker room comes in to celebrate….and we’ve got druids. They bring out a casket and stand it upright as the gong hits. Lightning strikes the casket and it is lit on fire, with Undertaker walking out. Undertaker destroys the roster as the Ortons get to the outside. The big staredown with the throat slit ends the show.

Overall Rating: B+. For a show that was almost entirely about the main event, this was actually a very good show with only the Long vs. Bischoff non-match being bad. There are several good matches throughout and it doesn’t drag at all. The ending was a bit obvious as everyone was waiting on Undertaker, but that’s not always the worst thing. Check this out if you need something to watch as it’s a very impressive show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2005 (2015 Redo): When The One Match Show Works

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2005
Date: November 27, 2005
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 15,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman, Michael Cole, Tazz

This show is all about brand vs. brand, which really isn’t an interesting story because they would interact pretty regularly but of course WWE doesn’t get this. Therefore, the main event is a five on five Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown Survivor Series elimination tag for pure bragging rights. At least they didn’t have a full pay per view about it yet. Let’s get to it.

As you would expect, the opening video is about fighting to survive. The theme is still mostly about Raw vs. Smackdown, which really only matters in WWE’s eyes. Still though, a well built feud for bragging rights is better than building up a match for a lame story so I’ll take what I can get.

Booker T. vs. Chris Benoit

Here’s an idea they blatantly copied from WCW as this is the first match in a best of seven series for the US Title. Booker had been defending and we had a double pin in a match against Benoit, meaning we need to have seven matches instead of one. At least both guys are good. Benoit glares out at Sharmell and goes right at Booker in the corner to start. Feeling out process in the early going as Booker gets in a quick slam for two. Booker gets sent to the floor and it sounds like something falls near the entrance.

As Benoit takes Booker to the mat, Cole unintentionally buries the WCW TV Title (the first series was for a shot) by saying this series is actually important. Either Cole doesn’t know what the original was for or Vince fed him that line and then cackled a bit. Back up and Booker kicks him in the face, followed by an elbow to the same general area for two.

A raised boot in the corner and a side slam breaks it up and we hit an armbar. Yeah after the shots to the head and a slam where Benoit lands on his back, it’s a hold on the arm. Come on Booker you’re smarter than this. Thankfully Booker wakes up and goes to an abdominal stretch instead. Benoit fights out again so Booker knocks his block off with a spinwheel kick. Tazz starts talking about Cole looking mints and having a funny face as a result.

WHAT IS WITH HIM??? Every single show he goes on these insane tangents that make NO sense and barely talks about the match. Why did he keep doing commentary for the better part of ten years? Occasionally he’ll say something insightful (like AVOID THE HOLE in the Buried Alive match in 2003) but most of the time it’s just random babbling. Anyway, there’s a neckbreaker for two from Booker and we hit the chinlock.

Benoit fights up and starts the Germans, only to eat another kick to the face. A quick dragon screw leg whip looks to set up the Sharpshooter but Booker rolls him up for two. More rolling Germans look to set up the Swan Dive but Sharmell offers a distraction, only to have Benoit headbutt Booker down. The Swan Dive misses anyway and Booker grabs a rollup with his feet on the ropes (and Sharmell holding them there) to win the first match in the series.

Rating: B+. This is a heck of a match and a really good opener. They’re a case of two people who work really well together and this is what they can do with time. After Booker realized that the armbar was stupid (which it was) and he started cutting Benoit off every time, the match fell into a good story that ended with Sharmell’s interferences playing in to the finish. Really good stuff. Booker would win the series in January.

Eric Bischoff is warming up for his match with Teddy Long. Oh geez it’s this show. Vince comes up to wish him luck and Bischoff brings up Montreal. Bischoff promises to bring him up to date though because the fix is in with Kurt Angle vs. John Cena for the Raw World Title. Cena pops up and oh geez it’s THIS show. After a quick gay joke from Cena, Vince says “keep it up my nigga” and then does his strut past Booker and Sharmell. If you’ll excuse me, I’m off to go sing Real American for no reason in particular.

Women’s Title: Melina vs. Trish Stratus

Joey Styles of Raw and Tazz of Smackdown are on commentary as this is interpromotional. Trish is defending after Melina had MNM kidnap her on Raw and demand a title shot. Melina has MNM with her and the ticked off Trish has the recently debuted psycho Mickie James in her corner. Trish attacks to start and sends Melina to the floor for a big dive off the top. I could really get used to this psycho and angry Trish. It’s shall we say, rather attractive in a purely innocent way of course.

The headstand into a headscissors puts Melina down but she forearms Trish in the back to get a breather. Joey talks about Melina being inexperienced on paper, sending Tazz into an actually funny rant about “WHAT PAPER ARE YOU COMMENTATORS ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT???” Melina kicks her square in the face but has to deal with Mickie, leaving MNM to load up a Snapshot on Trish, only to get caught just in time. Instead of that being the logical DQ, it’s just an ejection. So you can come in, pick someone up and throw them down and not get disqualified? Good to know.

Melina puts on a surfboard as the announcers debate which of Trish’s laces are more valuable at the moment. A hair takedown gets two on Melina and we hit the screeching. Tazz: “I’m kind of cool with that.” The Stratusphere (that headstand headscissors out of the corner) sets up a spinebuster of all things for two. After Mickie pulls Trish away from a charge, some kicks to the face set up a top rope bulldog to retain Trish’s title.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much but it’s amazing how good Trish got in just a few years. She looked like she knew more about what she was doing out there than almost any Diva going today, which is probably why she’s considered the best ever. Melina would get way better when she became a wrestler instead of mainly being a valet. Not a great match but good lord Trish knew how to dress.

Detroit Tiger Dmitri Young is here.

We recap HHH vs. Ric Flair. HHH returned from some time off and turned on Flair, making Ric a face in the process. This led to a great match inside a cage at Taboo Tuesday where Flair turned on the magic one more time and won. You know HHH isn’t letting it end that way though so we’re having a last man standing match.

Ric Flair vs. HHH

Last man standing. HHH jumps him in the aisle before Flair can even get his robe off. They get inside with Flair in big trouble, made even worse by HHH grabbing a chair. Flair comes back with a kendo stick, which really looks weird in his hands. They brawl to the hockey boards with HHH taking over again and bringing it back to ringside. Flair is up at seven after a backdrop on the floor and an elbow to the back makes Flair swear a lot.

Ric’s strikes have little effect (WAY too early for that) and they head outside again. You can tell they have a long time to go here and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing. Flair goes into the post so HHH pulls out a toolbox and picks a screwdriver to bust Ric open BAD. If it wasn’t opened up enough, Ric makes sure to blade (on camera by mistake) to make it even worse.

Back in and we get more screwdriving (I would have pictured Flair being a big fan of screwdrivers), followed by two knee drops that clearly miss by a good eight inches each. I know they almost never hit but get it together production guys. They go back outside to load up the announcers’ table but first of all HHH grabs a spinebuster on the floor. HHH yells a bunch of trash on the mic so Flair grabs him by the crotch.

That’s not cool with HHH because Stephanie is the ball ripper in this company so it’s a Pedigree through the announcers’ table, only to have Flair backdrop HHH through the other table. It’s only good for nine though because HHH isn’t losing to a backdrop, even if it’s from Flair. A bunch of chops get a six for Flair but HHH can’t bring himself to use a chair. Instead HHH pounds on him even more, only to take a low blow. A chair off the head drops HHH for eight more so Flair bites the forehead.

HHH gets crotched against the post FOUR TIMES IN A ROW before Flair bites him on the back of the leg. There’s a Garvin Stomp of all things followed by a chop block but the Figure Four is broken up. Well, says, Flair, if that doesn’t work, why not a chair to crush the leg against the post? Now the Figure Four goes on and he can grab the ropes all he pleases.

HHH taps for no meaning so Flair lets go, only to have HHH beat the count at nine. He’s still able to drop Flair with a clothesline and bring in some steps. As so many people have done, HHH makes the mistake of holding them over his head, allowing Flair to score with a drop toehold to send HHH face first into the steps. HHH is up again and two Pedigrees get eight each so HHH gives him a third. Flair is STILL getting up so it’s a sledgehammer to the general area a few inches above Flair’s back to give HHH the win.

Rating: B. Long but good here with a ridiculous amount of blood to really make this feel like an old school brawl. HHH was always good at being especially evil and look how evil he was here as he beat up a guy in his late 50s. I’m not sure how bright it was to give Flair this kind of a rub when you could build up someone new, but you know HHH wasn’t going to sell like this for anyone but Flair or Shawn. Still though, good, violent brawl.

Flair goes out on a stretcher.

Trish and Mickie are online.

Orton is giving Team Smackdown a pep talk about why he should be the leader since Batista is injured. Cue Batista who thinks he’s in charge. JBL disagrees and gets stared down in a funny bit.

Here are Edge and Lita (good lord) with something to say. Edge has an announcement to make…..and it’s not him cashing in his Money in the Bank contract. No actually he and Lita are going to have their own talk show soon, called the Cutting Edge. That’s enough of that now though so let’s go annoy Dmitri Young. Edge goes with the basic jabs at the Tigers and Young looks stunned that a heel would insult him.

After some steroids jokes, Edge runs down the Detroit sports teams (ignoring the LET’S GO REDWINGS chants). Young lists off the sports championships Detroit has won but can’t see one on Edge (who would wind up with as many World Championships as the Redwings as of 2015).

We recap the Raw World Title match which is built around trying to make Cena vs. Bischoff into Austin vs. McMahon again. Bischoff doesn’t like Cena as champion so he’s gotten Kurt Angle: Wrestling Machine to take the title. Angle has beaten him before but Kurt now has his own personal referee in Daivari to really stack the deck.

Raw World Title: Kurt Angle vs. John Cena

Cena is defending, Daivari is referee and Angle’s YOU SUCKS are censored due to Bischoff thinking it’s unfair. Kurt takes him down by the leg to start and drops elbows on the knee, followed by an early leg crank. Back up and the threat of a right hand sends Angle to the floor but Daivari keeps Cena in the ring. So much like Bill Alfonso in ECW, Daivari is a heel for doing his job.

The fans are red hot for this one as Lawler talks about all the countries watching this show live. Apparently Coach thinks the Gaza Strip is a topless bar. The release fisherman’s suplex drops Angle for no count. That earns Cena the ankle lock for way longer than anyone should be able to survive the hold. Cena gets the rope but Daivari kicks his hand away. The hold is reversed and Cena’s ankle is FINE, allowing him to slam Angle and slap Daivari. Kurt makes sure Daivari doesn’t call for the DQ so Cena rams them together to get a breather.

Cena gets sent into the steps and a second referee comes in to count two. Well you knew there was going to be a way around Daivari. Kurt grabs a waistlock before throwing Cena hard into the corner to keep him in trouble. The fans are ALL OVER Cena and another suplex gives Kurt two. Off to something like an STF on Cena but Kurt goes to a regular chinlock instead. Cena fights up and grab a DDT without selling the ankle injury one bit. The champ wins a slugout and initiates his finishing sequence, including pumping up the shoes.

Kurt clotheslines the referee down and there’s a low blow for Cena. Here’s a third referee as you would think Daivari would have risen from the dead by now. The Angle Slam gets two, followed by a superplex for the same. The moonsault misses because of course it does so Kurt uppercuts the third referee. Daivari is finally up so Cena DDTs him back down, only to have a Smackdown referee come out to take over. He’s got a quick night though as Cena hits the FU to retain.

Rating: B-. WAY too overbooked here but they had to protect Cena here, even if he wouldn’t sell being in the ankle lock for thirty seconds. You could see Cena’s inexperience in matches at this level coming through, which is so bizarre when you know what he would become. Angle was so hot at this point that they had to do something with him but what can you do when you don’t want to give him the Raw World Title? Well in this case you wait for Batista to get hurt and give him the Smackdown World Title until he leaves for TNA in less than a year.

Eric Bischoff vs. Teddy Long

Let’s get this over with because neither is a wrestler and this is happening because EVERYONE LOVES BRAND WARFARE! Teddy has network adviser Palmer Cannon in his corner and we have two referees to make sure this is fair. Eric throws some kicks and Teddy does his bouncy dancing. Bischoff finally chokes him down as we’re waiting on a match to break out.

The fans think this is boring and that’s being too kind. A sleeper takes Teddy down but a shoe to the head breaks it up. Bischoff’s karate shot to the throat….and here’s the Boogeyman. Eric looks to the entrance but Boogeyman is behind him with a choke and a pumphandle powerslam. Teddy wins and it’s time for more dancing.

Rating: I. I’ve had infections that were more pleasant than this. Moving on.

The Raw and Smackdown teams are cheered on by their respective rosters.

We recap the main event. Back in October at Raw Homecoming, Bischoff turned the lights out on a Smackdown six man tag. This triggered a war between the shows as they kept invading each other to try one more time to get this brand warfare thing to matter, even though no one outside of WWE cared. You over there. You say you cared? Stop lying, because you know you didn’t. Why? Because no one cared.

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Raw: Big Show, Kane, Shawn Michaels, Carlito, Chris Masters

Smackdown: Rey Mysterio, Bobby Lashley, Batista, Randy Orton, John Bradshaw Layfield

Batista is Smackdown World Champion but has a bad upper body due to an attack by Kane and Big Show. JBL has his publicist Jillian Hall, who still has a mole on her face. Lashley is still pretty new here but considered a can’t miss prospect. Orton (with his dad) is replacing Eddie Guerrero who passed away just a few weeks before this show. Kane and Big Show are Raw Tag Team Champions. The announcers bicker throughout the nearly ten minutes of entrances which makes me think we’re in for a long match. This really is one sided on paper.

Shawn and Orton get things going after Batista wasn’t allowed to start due to his injuries. Randy backs him into the corner and slaps the taste out of Shawn’s mouth, only to have Shawn slap him down to one knee. Three times in a row Shawn headlocks him to the mat but gets caught in a headscissors. With that not working, Shawn slaps him even harder but Orton grabs a slam.

The announcers talk even more than they do now with Tazz being a jerk. Like, moreso than usual. Masters comes in but takes a dropkick from Orton. It’s off to Lashley for the big power showdown. Lashley tells him to try his luck and Masters charges into a powerslam for two. A cheap shot from the apron lets Masters try the Masterlock but you know that’s not working. Lashley sends him flying with a belly to belly and it’s off to Carlito who has to be dragged in.

Some clotheslines set up a running powerslam for two (on Carlito in case you’re a bit slow today) and it’s off to Michaels. That’s fine with Lashley who slams him off the top, followed by an overhead belly to belly. I told you Lashley was a can’t miss prospect. I wonder how he wound up missing so badly in WWE. The Dominator plants Carlito but Kane chokeslams Lashley from the apron to give Shawn the pin for the first advantage.

Mysterio comes in for some kicks to Shawn’s legs but Kane interferes again with a knee to the back. It’s back to Masters who might be able to do something with Rey this banged up. A gorilla press drop sets up the tag to Kane (Tazz: “This isn’t good.”) who is quickly chopped down by some kicks to the head and a standing moonsault for two.

Rey charges right into a boot to the face though as the announcers are now talking about qualifying matches and Coach not being funny. A bearhug puts Rey in trouble as the argument turns to ratings. Tazz: “Joey I beg of you shut up.” Mysterio finally escapes and it’s off to Batista to really get Smackdown going. Kane gets in a shot to the bad ribs but Batista spears him down with ease. The rest of the Raw guys are dispatched and it’s a 619 to Kane, followed by a spinebuster for the elimination.

Batista walks into a Big Show chokeslam for two, followed by a double chokeslam from Kane and Show behind the two referees’ back. They didn’t notice that three of the nine people still at ringside weren’t around? We settle down to JBL vs. Big Show but the giant throws Rey around a bit first. Orton snaps Show’s throat across the top and the Clothesline From JBL, the 619, the RKO, another Clothesline From JBL and a springboard seated senton from Rey finally ties it up.

We’re down to Mysterio/JBL/Orton vs. Shawn/Carlito/Masters, which again is pretty one sided. Everything breaks down again and JBL throws Shawn on the floor with a fall away slam. Masters plants Rey down and it’s off to Carlito for a chinlock as Shawn is still down. Rey fights up and JBL gets in a blind tag, setting up another Clothesline From JBL to get rid of Carlito, who has to be helped from the ring. Masters suplexes JBL for two as Shawn STILL hasn’t moved.

Back to Mysterio who avoids a charge in the corner and hits the 619, followed by Dropping the Dime (Springboard legdrop. Tazz: “HE DROPPED THE WHOLE DOLLAR ON HIM!”) to make it 3-1. JBL throws Shawn back inside and it’s off to Rey for another 619. As Joey Styles points out that Smackdown could have won on a countout, Shawn superkicks Rey and JBL for back to back pins in 15 seconds to get it down to Orton vs. Michaels.

Orton is quickly sent to the floor for a big dive as things speed up. Back in and some clotheslines set up the top rope elbow as the fans want Undertaker (who was advertised for the show). JBL tries to come in with a chair but eats a superkick, setting up the RKO to give Smackdown the pin.

Rating: B+. That’s how you do an elimination tag. This was great stuff (save for the commentary, though it was actually entertaining at times) with the eliminations coming fast enough that they didn’t get ridiculous and Shawn doing his best to make you believe he was dead before his comeback. They kept people looking strong too and the whole thing worked well. Good match and a really good main event to make the Survivor Series match feel important again.

The Smackdown roster hits the ring and here’s Undertaker. Well scratch that as first we have the druids bringing a casket. After a lot of chanting, the casket lights on fire (as Orton had done to Undertaker about a month and a half back) and Undertaker walks out. Undertaker stalks to the ring to clean house and a throat slit has Orton terrified to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. For a show that almost no one remembers, this is a heck of a good card. The main event is good, there’s a lot of other solid stuff around, Trish looks about as good as she ever has……..and dang it Teddy Long’s dancing makes me smile. I don’t think I can call this a classic but there’s a lot of really good stuff on it to carry it a lot higher than I thought it was going to be. They’re in a transitional period here but this was a great show.

Ratings Comparison

Booker T vs. Chris Benoit

Original: B

2012 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B+

Trish Stratus vs. Melina

Original: B

2012 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

HHH vs. Ric Flair

Original: B-

2012 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: B

John Cena vs. Kurt Angle

Original: B+

2012 Redo: C

2015 Redo: B-

Theodore Long vs. Eric Bischoff

Original: O (For Oh I can’t think about this anymore)

2012 Redo: S (For Six Minutes)

2015 Redo: I (For Infections I’ve had that were more entertaining)

Team Smackdown vs. Team Raw

Original: B

2012 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: B

2012 Redo: B

2015 Redo: A-

I’m surprised by how much more I liked the girls and Cena vs. Angle. They’re good but they’re not that good. Still a solid show though.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/14/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2005-a-forgotten-almost-classic/

And the redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/11/11/survivor-series-count-up-2012-edition-2005-raw-vs-smackdown/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2005 (2012 Redo): Oh Snap

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2005
Date: November 27, 2005
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 15,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman, Michael Cole, Tazz

The main change here is that we’ve seen the rise of Batista and Cena, with the latter defending against Angle and a crooked referee tonight. On top of that we’ve got Raw vs. Smackdown in a major Survivor Series match which actually feels kind of big for once. Other than that there’s HHH vs. Flair in a Last Man Standing match which should be good. Let’s get to it.

The announcers talk about the main event and bragging rights to start things off.

Booker T vs. Chris Benoit

This is the first match in a best of seven series for the US Title, which would go on until January and saw Randy Orton wrestling four of the matches in Booker’s place. Benoit gets in Booker’s face in the corner and they tie up for a bit. Booker hits an awkward kind of slam but Benoit pops right back up. Benoit sends him to the floor and that goes absolutely nowhere. Back in and Chris takes him to the mat with a leg hold.

After Booker grabs a rope, it’s time for a test of strength with Booker (the heel here) kicking Benoit in the face to take over. When all else fails, kick the guy in the face. A suplex puts Booker down as does an elbow to the face. Booker hits a side slam for two and it’s off to an arm hold followed by an abdominal stretch. After Benoit escapes, Booker kicks his head off for two. This is moving somewhat slowly so far but it’s not bad.

Booker hits an arm trap neckbreker (like Sandow’s Terminus) for two and it’s off to a reverse chinlock. Benoit escapes a vertical suplex and it’s time to roll some Germans, but Booker escapes the third and kicks Benoit in the face again. Another attempt at a kick is caught in a legdrag but the Sharpshooter that follows it up doesn’t quite work, giving Booker a cradle for two.

A snap suplex gets two for Chris and we roll some more Germans. Benoit loads up the Swan Dive but Sharmell’s distraction lets Booker load up a superplex. Benoit goes psycho though and headbutts Booker to the mat, but the Swan Dive misses, allowing Booker to get a rollup with Sharmell holding Booker’s feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: B-. These two are awesome together and both series they had (they did this in WCW for the TV Title) were entertaining stuff. At the end of the day, sometimes there’s nothing wrong with throwing two people out there and letting them have a good match. This was a solid choice for an opener too as both guys got to show off and the fans were getting into it near the end.

Vince wishes Bischoff luck tonight and Montreal is referenced. Of course. Eric says he’ll screw Cena. Cena pops up and says “so Eric Bischoff screws guys. Good luck with that.” Vince then says to Cena, and I 100% quote, “keep it up my nigga.” Booker and Sharmell don’t seem pleased.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Melina

Trish is defending and Melina has MNM, the Smackdown tag champions, with him. This is interpromotional apparently. Melina and MNM had kidnapped Trish and held her captive until the match was agreed to. Well that’s one way to do it. Trish and her psycho fan (the brand new Mickie James) come out fast with Trish sending Melina to the floor and diving on all three members of MNM. Trish is looking great here.

Melina gets thrown around by her hair, sending those furry boots flying. Trish headscissors her down and I think they botch a headscissors out of the corner with Trish kicking Melina in the face instead of getting the ankles around her head. Melina uses her basic abilities (meaning stretching to freakish angles to choke and kick a lot) before going to the floor for a cat fight with Mickie.

As the brawl is going on, MNM tries the Snapshot (elevated double team DDT) on Trish, only to get caught and ejected. Things calm down a bit and Melina puts on a surfboard, which may or may not be an excuse to have Trish’s chest shoved out while wearing tight leather. Trish fights back but Stratusfaction is countered into a face plant for two, drawing the primal screams from Melina.

Stratus comes back with some forearms but runs into a boot in the corner. The Stratusphere puts Melina down and there’s a spinebuster of all things for two for Trish. Chick Kick and Stratusfaction miss and Trish is sent to the apron, but Mickie pulls her out of the way of a charging Melina. Trish goes up and misses about 95% of a top rope bulldog but it’s good enough for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was much better than I was expecting given what level Melina was at here. Trish looked fine (and her wrestling was even good too) but she needed more to work with here. This would lead up to Mickie going totally psycho and evil, setting up an excellent match (other than the ending) at Mania between the two of them.

Watch Jake’s DVD! It’s full of lies but watch it!

Dmitri Young, a baseball payer, is here.

We recap HHH vs. Flair. HHH came back from injury and turned on Flair in their first match together. They fought in a cage match at Taboo Tuesday with Flair somehow pulling out one of the biggest upsets of his career. Tonight it’s a rematch in a last man standing match.

Ric Flair vs. HHH

Last man standing. Oh and Flair is IC Champion but this is non-title. Like HHH would ever actively go after a midcard title. HHH jumps Flair as he comes to the ring and beats on him in the aisle for a bit before we head inside. It’s chair time very quickly but Flair pokes HHH in the ribs with a kendo stick to block the shot. They head into the crowd with Flair chopping HHH through the fans. He swings one time too many though and HHH backdrops him back to ringside.

A suplex puts Flair’s back on the concrete and draws some loud swearing. HHH suplexes him back into the ring and Flair is in trouble. Some quick punches don’t do much good for Flair and we head back to the outside. Flair gets posted, but if that’s not enough to cut him open, HHH carves up his forehead with a freaking SCREWDRIVER. There is blood everywhere in just a matter of seconds, so HHH digs it in even more back in the ring.

HHH takes him down and the knee drop misses by about eight inches. The shot of the second one is even worse and they slug it out in the corner. We head outside again and Flair sends him into the steps to give Flair a breather. Flair pokes HHH in the eye but HHH hits a spinebuster to take him right back down on the concrete. HHH talks trash on the mic and Flair is like “boy Jack Brisco’s tights were tougher than you” and he grabs HHH by the balls. Well when there’s nothing else I guess that’s all you can do. HHH blasts him with the mic to break the grip. I guess that’s Stephanie only territory.

Flair is set for a Pedigree through the announce table but he backdrops HHH through the other table, drawing our first count of the match. That gets a nine and HHH grabs another chair. Back in and HHH has Flair dead to rights but instead of swinging the chair, HHH pounds away with punches instead. HHH pounds away in the corner, so Flair kicks him low again, followed by a chair shot for five. Flair is like YUM and bites at the cut on HHH’s forehead. Flair is kind of a weird dude sometimes.

Ric wraps HHH’s balls around the post and does the same to the leg, which is a smart move in a last man standing match. Then he crushes the balls FOUR MORE TIMES. DUDE FOR THE LOVE OF STEPHANIE GIVE IT A BREAK! Back in and Flair chop blocks HHH, before biting the guy’s thigh. Flair is a pretty sick guy at times no? He goes back to the knee (with kicks this time instead of teeth) but the Figure Four is blocked twice, the second time having Flair knocked to the outside.

For the first time, Flair pulls out a weapon of his own and whacks the knee with a chair. Now the Figure Four goes on and Flair is perfectly allowed to grab the ropes. HHH taps but it doesn’t mean anything here. That draws an 8 with a shaky call from the referee that HHH was up at one point. A double clothesline puts both guys down and HHH rolls to the floor. The Game throws in some steps and clocks Flair in the face with them. Flair needs to scream less. Sometimes you should just be stunned and dazed you know?

HHH charges with the steps again but Flair hits a drop toehold to send HHH into the steps face first. That only gets a nine so they slug it out. Flair sends him into the ropes but ducks his head like an idiot, allowing HHH to hit the Pedigree……which only gets eight. HHH Pedigrees him AGAIN, but Flair is up at 8 and flips off HHH. A THIRD Pedigree gets nine, so HHH “hits” (Get better directors already. This is ridiculous) him in the back with the sledgehammer to finally keep Flair down for ten.

Rating: B+. Bad direction and cuts aside, this was a very solid brawl. They beat the tar out of each other with Flair trying as hard as he could to have one last great moment, but not being evil enough anymore to hang with the new guy in HHH. This was good stuff and thankfully it more or less ended HHH and Flair’s time on camera together.

Flair is taken out on a stretcher.

Buy the Bret Hart DVD! No really, this one is awesome.

Trish and Mickie do an online interview.

Orton gives Team Smackdown a pep talk but talks about Batista as the weak link. Batista shows up and the tune changes. He thinks that since he’s world champion, he should be leader. JBL says it should be him. Batista glares at him and JBL stammers a lot.

Here are Edge and Lita with something to say. Edge is Mr. MITB at this point but doesn’t have a match tonight. Edge talks about how his own talk show, called The Cutting Edge, is debuting soon. Now that we’ve got that covered, let’s talk to Dmitri Young. Edge makes fun of the Tigers for not being able to win the World Series and calls everyone here fat. He makes fun of the Detroit sports teams and now they give Dmitri Young (“Come here Mark Henry. Oh wait…”) a live mic. Young talks about Edge’s balls and lists off all of Detroit’s titles before saying Edge has none. This took seven minutes somehow.

We recap Angle vs. Cena. Basically it’s “I’m Kurt Angle and therefore better than you. NOW LET ME SHOUT EXACTLY WHAT I JUST SAID AGAIN!” Cena is like bring it man and whatever rhymes with man!

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Kurt Angle

Daivari, Angle’s crony, is the guest referee. The YOU SUCKS from the crowd are censored because of some Bischoff ruling. Daivari is rubbing Angle’s shoulders during the intros. Oh and Cena is defending. The champ is here….right on the mat with Angle working on the leg. Cena comes back with an armdrag into an armbar and some shoulder blocks to send Kurt to the floor. Daivari won’t let Cena go after Angle and Joey is way more excited about it than anyone else. Isn’t Daivari doing what a referee is supposed to do anyway?

Back in and Cena hits some elbows and a release fisherman’s suplex for no count from Daivari. Cena goes to yell at him and is immediately caught in the ankle lock. Cena finally gets to the rope but Daivari kicks his hand off. The hold is broken and Cena spinebusts Angle before slapping Daivari a few times. Angle won’t let Daivari DQ Cena, so Cena knocks them both to the floor.

Kurt gets all fired up and slams Cena into the steps and hits an overhead belly to belly on the outside. A second referee comes out as Daivari is still down. Daivari would be a wrestler one day, so how did he get so much better at being able to take punishment? I’ve never gotten that. Anyway, Cena puts on a reverse waistlock but Cena comes back with a cross body for two. Angle comes back with a knee lift and Cena is in trouble.

The fans are ALL OVER Cena all of a sudden, with a huge Cena Sucks chant. Off to a chinlock with Angle holding the leg back as well. Cena finally comes back with a jawbreaker and a DDT to put both guys down. They slug it out with Cena taking over via some clotheslines. Cena initiates his finishing sequence and is set for the FU, but Angle clotheslines the replacement referee.

A low blow puts Cena down and Angle calls in another referee to count two on the Angle Slam. Angle superplexes Cena down for two but the moonsault misses. Cena loads up another FU but Angle grabs the referee to escape. An uppercut puts the referee down AGAIN and Kurt throws Daivari back in, who is apparently STILL out cold after about ten minutes, breaking Davey Boy Smith’s record from 1994. A Smackdown referee comes down but Angle yells at him, allowing Cena to DDT Daivari. Kurt comes in and walks into the FU for the pin.

Rating: C. This was WAY overbooked and Cena was in over his head with Angle, but it wasn’t bad or anything. Angle vs. Cena was supposed to be a huge feud but it never felt like anything all that special. Cena wasn’t ready for a real showdown with Angle yet but he would get a lot better over the next year or so though. The referee stuff was kind of stupid though, especially with Daivari being out cold for so long.

Eric Bischoff vs. Teddy Long

Yes this is real, yes it’s happening on PPV, yes we’re supposed to ignore Bischoff being a martial arts expert from WCW and thing Teddy might have a chance in a straight fight, and yes this is going to SUCK. Teddy has some network consultant with him named Palmer Cannon who never lasted long. They’re both GM’s if that wasn’t clear. Teddy poses a lot on the corner and we haven’t had any contact after a minute. Teddy dances a bit and Eric misses a kick. There’s more dancing and no contact still.

We do the exact same thing AGAIN before Eric chokes Teddy with his sash. There are two referees in there for no apparent reason. Eric chokes away but Teddy takes off his shoe and whacks Eric in the head. Bischoff goes to the throat to stop Teddy again…..and here’s the Boogeyman. If you’ve never seen him, picture Darth Maul from the first Star Wars prequel if he ate worms. He sneaks up on Eric and lays him out with a pumphandle slam, giving Teddy the pin.

Rating: S. Six minutes. This match took SIX MINUTES. The WWE owes me six minutes of my life back. John Cena vs. Kurt Angle for the WWE Championship can only get thirteen minutes but this gets SIX? Who in the world thought this was a good idea? At least it went by….no actually it didn’t go by fast. This won worst match of the year and I can’t argue at all.

Team Smackdown is coming to the ring and the Smackdown D-list guys cheer them on.

The Raw guys do the same thing.

We recap Raw vs. Smackdown. At a 3 hour special Raw called WWE Homecoming, there was going to be a Smackdown six man tag but Bischoff turned the lights out on them because he said they were inferior to Raw. This prompted a multiple PPV running feud where they kept invading each others’ shows, setting up a battle for supremacy here.

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Shawn Michaels, Carlito, Chris Masters, Kane, Big Show,

Batista, Randy Orton, Rey Mysterio, Bobby Lashley, John Bradshaw Layfield

Show and Kane are tag champions, Batista is world champion but is injured due to Big Show and Kane attacking him over and over, and Lashley is undefeated at this point. This hasn’t been mentioned yet on the commentary for pretty obvious reasons, but Orton is replacing Eddie Guerrero who died about ten days before this. Shawn vs. Randy gets things going and it’s a very slow opening with both guys feeling the other out.

Orton gets thing going by slapping Shawn so Shawn literally slaps Orton down to the mat. Three times in about 30 seconds, Shawn takes Orton to the mat with a headlock, Orton grabs a headscissors to counter, and Shawn escapes. Randy charges into a boot in the corner but slams Shawn down to take over again. The match is starting slow but the bickering from the commentators is funny stuff, as they’re taking this rivalry personally.

Off to Masters who gets his eyes raked by Orton but the power game of Masters takes over. Lashley comes in to a reaction from the fans and they do the two power guys collide with each other. Bobby takes over with a slam but Masters clotheslines him down. Masters tries the Masterlock but Bobby easily blocks it. Carlito is pulled in and thrown around as well, culminating with a powerslam for two.

Off to Shawn to see what he can do with this monster, but Lashley slams him off the top. A suplex puts Shawn down so Carlito comes in sans tag and takes the Dominator. Shawn is about to take one as well, but Kane breaks it up and chokeslams Lashley to give Shawn the pin. Rey comes in next and Kane hits him in the back as well to give Shawn another advantage. Masters drops some elbows on Rey to keep him on the mat which is the right move.

A gorilla press drop puts Rey down again and here’s Kane who misses an elbow. Mysterio starts speeding things up and gets two off a standing moonsault. Kane comes up with a very easy counter by kicking a charging Rey in the face. Off to a bearhug as this is the longest segment of the match so far. Rey fights out of it and slides between Kane’s legs to make the tag to Batista.

Big Dave gets in some shots but the bandages all over his arm and chest are a target for Kane. Kane gets in a shot and everything breaks down, allowing Batista to hit a spinebuster on Kane for the elimination. Big Show chokeslams Batista for a very close two but Kane and Big Show double chokeslam Batista to put him out. JBL immediately tries the Clothesline on Show but gets grabbed by the throat. JBL kicks Show low, but gets caught jumping off the middle rope. That’s freaking SCARY power by Show. Show superkicks Orton down and LAUNCHES Rey into the corner.

Orton guillotines Show into the Clothesline from JBL who tags….Mysterio? The 619 sets up the RKO which sets up another Clothesline which sets up a seated senton from Rey for the elimination. Cool sequence here as the team all went after Show to get rid of him. Show would DESTROY Rey on a special Smackdown to get revenge. Shawn goes after JBL on the floor and gets thrown away in a fallaway slam.

To recap, it’s Mysterio, JBL and Orton vs. Shawn, Carlito and Masters. It’s Masters vs. Rey now with Masters getting two after sending Mysterio into the corner. Off to Carlito for a legdrop and chinlock for a few moments. Mysterio fights up and makes a blind tag to JBL who ENDS Carlito with a Clothesline to make it 3-2. Masters and JBL slug it out a bit but Rey tags himself in. JBL kicks Chris in the face to give his teammate an advantage, setting up a 619 and the springboard legdrop to take out Masters.

So it’s Shawn vs. Rey/Orton/JBL and Shawn is STILL down on the floor from the fallaway slam. Mysterio starts with Shawn and things go faster. Rey hits the 619 to send Shawn across the ring, but the West Coast Pop jumps right into the superkick ala Shelton Benjamin for the elimination. JBL comes in and tries the Clothesline but gets superkicked down AGAIN to make it Orton vs. Shawn. There were about fifteen seconds between the two pins.

The RKO and superkick both miss so Shawn dives on Orton on the floor to take him out. The fans want Taker who was promised to be here tonight. There are the forearm and superkick followed by some clotheslines. The top rope elbow hits Randy but Shawn can’t cover. JBL is still at ringside for some reason and he grabs a chair. Shawn loads up the superkick again but JBL shoves down the outside referee and misses a chair shot. The distraction lets Orton hit the RKO for the final pin.

Rating: B. This was a direct copy of Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff from two years ago, even down to the final participants, but the results were a bit inverted. Here, the part before the solo Shawn part was better but Shawn’s solo part wasn’t as good. Also, Batista running in was better than JBL’s chair stuff here. It’s still probably a better match overall, mainly due to the better opening part.

The low level Smackdown guys come out to put Orton on their shoulders…..and there’s a gong. We’ve got lights, we’ve got chanting, we’ve got druids carrying a casket, and a Dead Man coming out of said casket. Taker walks into the ring and beats up some jobbers as the roster bails. Orton is scared to death to end the show. Hell in a Cell for these two next month.

Overall Rating: B. This show is pretty much never talked about other than occasionally the main event and that’s a shame. This is an entertaining and solid show all around with the only bad match being a battle of the GM’s, and even that only runs six minutes. You have a bloodbath in HHH vs. Flair, a fun main event with entertaining commentary and some solid wrestling all around. Nothing is great, but if you’ve got two hours and forty five minutes to spare, check this out as it’s quality stuff.

Ratings Comparison

Booker T vs. Chris Benoit

Original: B

Redo: B-

Trish Stratus vs. Melina

Original: B

Redo: C-

HHH vs. Ric Flair

Original: B-

Redo: B+

John Cena vs. Kurt Angle

Original: B+

Redo: C

Theodore Long vs. Eric Bischoff

Original: O (For Oh I can’t think about this anymore)

Redo: S (For Six Minutes)

Team Smackdown vs. Team Raw

Original: B

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: B

I’m surprised by how much more I liked the girls and Cena vs. Angle. They’re good but they’re not that good. Still a solid show though.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/14/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2005-a-forgotten-almost-classic/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 2005 (Original): When This Worked

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2005
Date: November 27, 2005
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 15,000
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Tazz, Michael Cole

It’s all about brand supremacy here as the main event and the only match with a good build this year is Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown. What does that actually gain us? Absolutely nothing, but it’s the best we can come up with so there we are. Continuing that theme we also have Teddy Long vs. Eric Bischoff. Oh that’s going to be awful isn’t it. In some real wrestling we have in the Raw main event John Cena vs. Kurt Angle. Now we’re getting somewhere.

This was a weird time for the company as there’s just not a lot going on right now and they’re just kind of going through the motions. Cena and Batista are the top dogs on their respective shows but there’s just nothing that’s a spark for the company right now which is a trend that would continue for a few more years after this.

TNA is starting to get its footing but it’s far from a major deal in case you three TNA fans were wondering. That was random I know but this opening paragraph was way too short.

Don’t you just hate it when you run out of things to say and you just have to ramble on and on about absolutely nothing at all when it’s clear that the person talking is some moron that has nothing else to say but beating around the bush and trying to fill up space in a page because he’s not intelligent enough to have anything else to say about something he’s reviewing on a website like WrestleZone which should be about wrestling but isn’t always? Yeah I hate that too. Let’s do this.

There is one major thing that happened recently as Eddie Guerrero passed away two weeks before this show. I’ve always thought he was both overrated and gets far to much hype, but he was certainly a great talent and could wrestle with anyone and it was sad to lose him, especially when he was allegedly going to win the world title again before this show.

Again, the video is just painfully generic. It’s just a voiceover guy talking about survival and clips of the feuds. The only highlight is a single shot of taker who was returning tonight. Once we’re in the arena we find that it’s Styles on commentary which is a nice change of pace. Not saying he’s better or worse than Ross, but when you do so many of these in a row it’s nice to hear a different voice.

This was a time when for whatever reason we had three announcers for Raw which is of course overkill. Lawler either slips up or makes a sex joke by saying return your flight attendants to their upright positions. No one laughed but they didn’t react either so they either didn’t get it or didn’t notice.

They talk about how Raw will beat Smackdown which is fine. We go to the Spanish guys and then over to Cole and Tazz. For some reason this made me laugh. It was like the Spanish guys were just randomly thrown in there with no rhyme or reason. Stuff like that amuses me.

Chris Benoit vs. Booker T

This is match 1 in a best of 7 series for the US Title which was vacant due to a double pin between these two. The series wound up being Benoit vs. Orton because Booker got hurt so once Orton won the last match Booker got the title because that makes perfect sense right? These two traded the title back and forth like four times in about eight months which was just kind of stupid but whatever.

The whole idea of a series is stupid as well for one simple reason: why should we care about the first few matches? These don’t mean anything and nothing is going to be decided here, so why should we watch? Sharmell gets her own entrance and she is just painful to listen to. Something feels different about this show from last year which is a good thing. It feels bigger I guess you could say.

We start with a weird looking spot where Booker tries for a slam but can’t do it and it turns into a half suplex half powerslam. That was just odd. They mention that the second match will be on Tuesday at the Smackdown Special. That show was a disgrace for two reasons. First of all it was just flat out awful from a wrestling standpoint.

Second, there was a big spot where Eddie’s lowrider was blown with I think Big Show in it. This was sixteen days after Eddie died. Seriously? If you just have to use that for an angle, wait awhile would you?

Booker does some sweet looking stuff to get out of a test of strength. His in ring stuff really is overlooked. Booker gets an abdominal stretch and Benoit starts shaking his hips for some reason which looks very odd indeed. Benoit is getting dominated for the most part here, which is fine because he’s great at selling.

I’ll never get the point in announcers mentioning necks being surgically repaired. Wouldn’t that imply that they’re stronger than before? Are we really supposed to believe that a wrestler’s neck is still that weak even a year or so after they came back from the injury? Benoit gets a short comeback with one of those awesome Germans but Booker takes him down with a kick that was sweet looking. This has been a solid match.

Booker gets caught in an insane looking leg drag but avoids the Sharpshooter. After the triple Germans, Benoit goes for the headbutt but Booker stops him on the top. In a sequence that is very short but that I like, Benoit knocks him back down and goes for the headbutt anyway. See, while it seems pointless, it adds a bit more action to the match and got the fans into it just a tiny bit more. That’s what makes a match even better: adding that little extra bit.

Benoit could have just come off with the heabutt and missed to set up the finish, but instead we get an extra ten to fifteen seconds of action which got the crowd going a bit more. The more you can draw the fans in, the better the match is going to seem. If a match is weak (this one isn’t) that can be covered up by the crowd being into it. If a match is good (like this one) the crowd being into it means that the thing is a success on both levels.

Anyway, Benoit misses the headbutt and Booker gets a roll up with his feet on the bottom rope for the pin. Now wait a minute. How would the bottom rope help you? Isn’t the point of using the ropes to add more leverage to the pin by making you have to shove up a slope? With the bottom rope it’s just balanced out evenly.

Why am I wasting my time thinking about this? That ending was kind of weak but whatever. To further the stupidity, Sharmell grabs his feet and pulls down. Wouldn’t that pull Booker away from Benoit?

Rating: B. This was very solid. It’s not great but it’s very good. It was intense throughout other than the submission holds in the middle and it had time to develop. I’m not wild on the ending, but other than that I had no problems here. These two can work very well together when given the time as they were here, so who am I to complain? This was good but can someone shoot Sharmell for me please?

Bischoff is in the back warming up and Vince walks up. He wishes him luck and Bischoff says tonight he’s going to screw Cena, thereby making it about as obvious as possible that Cena will retain. Why do they insist on making so many Montreal references? They did it in WCW and the company died because they couldn’t let it go. Even after the mess that was Starrcade 97 they did it over and over again and it just never worked at all.

Also, they tried so hard to make Cena vs. Bischoff the next Austin vs. McMahon and it just failed. Actually failed isn’t the right word. It just didn’t live up to what it was supposed to be, which is fine because they’re inferior talents to what came before them. Also, since it had been done already there was no real reason to think this would be better which aren’t Cena and Bischoff’s faults at all. Anyway, Cena walks up and makes a gay joke to get Bischoff to leave.

Vince and Cena talk for a bit which when you think about it isn’t a pairing you see together that often. Vince actually says what’s up my nigger to Cena. WOW. Even Cena looks taken aback by this as do Booker and Sharmell. That was just out there to say the least.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Melina

Melina is part of MNM here along with Mercury and Nitro (now known as John Morrison). They’re the Smackdown tag champions and did the thing where they hung the belts from their belts so they hung between their legs. That’s original at least. This is inter promotional so Tazz and Styles are the commentators. ECW would be back in June with these two being the commentators.

Despite the fact that Melina looks better with all black hair instead of the blonde she has going here, she looks good in her signature entrance. Melina had MNM kidnap Trish on Raw so she could ask for a title shot because that makes perfect sense. Melina more or less is wrestling in a tiny bikini so this match has gone up in ratings for me. Mickie James, the newcomer, is with Trish.

Very soon she would go into the sexy crazy stalker mode with Trish, leading to her heel turn which was awesome. Trish starts with a spear and some punches that land squarely on the mat. Melina hits the floor but Trish hits a cross body from the top to the floor to take out all three heels. When did Lita get bigger and dye her hair red? Melina is a complete rookie here. Wow has she really been around for four years?

They botch a spot but if nothing else they make it work. It was supposed to be a headscissors but it turned into a kick to the face. It still worked though. Joey says Trish wins on paper. Tazz wants to see the paper. That’s actually kind of funny. Melina and Mickie fight on the floor while MNM goes for the Snapshot which was an elevated DDT on Trish. They get ejected for it though so that sucks. The belts are just making me laugh. This is intense if nothing else.

DANG Melina can hit the high notes. This is a quite good match actually. Melina actually counters Stratusfaction twice which isn’t bad. Mickie interferes to help Trish, leading to a kick and a top rope bulldog that missed but again they improvise slightly with Trish grabbing Melina’s hair on the way down.

It looked bad but it could have been worse, but it ends the match. On the replay they do a great job of covering the botch at the end by showing it from the back where you can’t tell how bad it was. That’s well done.

Rating: B. This was quite good. They beat the heck out of each other and on the two noticeable botches they improvised, especially the earlier one. Melina was clearly talented and not just another pretty face that thought she would try wrestling for a paycheck. Trish was her usual solid self here, so I have few complaints.

It was one of the better Diva matches that I can remember so that’s a perk. The looks didn’t hurt things either. This is what the Divas need to shoot for: hot women but good wrestling to back it up. I’d watch more of this.

Buy this PPV of the DVD of Jake Roberts.

We recap HHH vs. Flair which was a good feud I thought. More or less HHH decided that Flair was too far gone to mean anything anymore so he beat him up. Flair wound up winning the Intercontinental Title of all things which I actually liked as it made the belt seem prestigious. They had a cage match at Taboo Tuesday for the belt and Flair won clean in a great old school style match. That leads us to here which is last man standing.

Ric Flair vs. HHH

Like I said Flair is IC champion here but it’s non title. Trips jumps him in the aisle to start us off. Flair is beaten on pretty badly at first since his robs is still on. He comes back though as the old man powers will never die. They haven’t actually been in the ring at this point. Scratch that they have but it was for about twenty seconds. I’ll give Flair this: he can sell as well as anyone in history even at this age.

That’s why he was so great for so long: he could tell a story as well as anyone in the world. HHH works over his back which is fine. He needs to lose the mustache though. It just flat out doesn’t work on him. We go hardcore as HHH pulls out a screwdriver. Dang Flair is bleeding badly. Granted I think that happens is someone stares at him for more than four seconds. Has anyone been in as many last man standing matches as HHH?

He’s been in a ton of them over the years with at least three that I can remember against Orton alone. I’ve always loved that red blonde hair on Flair. They finally mention that it’s HHH’s lifelong goal to break Flair’s record, which depending on what you look at should be around 22 or 23. If TNA has their way Angle will pass that in about a week. Edge is likely going to get close to it as well, but I’d take almost any of Flair’s runs over any two or three of Edge’s combined.

They’re out on the floor again with Flair finally taking some control. I have a feeling we’re in for a long one here, which should be fine. Coach offers commentary simply saying what number the referee is up to. Good to see why he’s paid the big money. HHH gets on the mic because three commentators in one match just aren’t enough. He yells at Flair to get up and in the next breath says to stay down if he knows what’s good for him.

No wonder Flair never would retire. He was too confused from hanging out with HHH all those years. Flair grabs the ball of HHH for no apparent reason. Is he competing with Stephanie or something now? HHH gets control back because I guess he likes being the dominant one.

I’ll be pausing for a few seconds here to get the image of a submissive Stephanie out of my mind. Ok I think I’m good now. We hit the tables and HHH gets countered through the table as he always is. Both guys are more or less dead at this point. The table practically exploded too and it looked great. Both guys are up though and we keep going.

We’re back in the ring for likely the longest stretch of the match which is a nice change of pace. For some reason we have to get another replay of HHH going through the table. We get it already people. A chair comes into play and both men are down, or at least that’s what Styles says. Call me cracy, but Flair looks up to me. Flair continues making sense by going for the legs. He pulls the balls of HHH into the post as he seems slightly obsessed with them.

Lawler mentions that he hopes HHH isn’t planning on going out tonight. I certainly wouldn’t. If I had a wife like Stephanie I wouldn’t be going to work either so there we are. Flair bites HHH for the second time in the match, this time on the leg. Style infers that the biting could mess up the quad again. Oh come on now. Flair goes to town on the legs in a very slow old school style plus weapons. That’s not a bad idea actually.

The figure four makes HHH tap but it means nothing here. I love how he’ll give up in a match where it means nothing, but that’s a different story. They’re both back up now with HHH knocking Flair back down. HHH brings the steps in and for some reason that only Flair knows, he runs right at HHH and rams his head into the steps. That’s just stupid. This time HHH runs and Flair hits a drop toe hold to slam HHH into the steps. This is like a cartoon or something.

I know there’s not a lot being said here but a lot of this is either one or both guys laying there for a ten count which somehow takes about 30 seconds each. HHH gets a Pedigree to a big pop which means either the people are tired of this match or they like HHH. My guess is the former, because HHH is such a masterful heel that no one can hate him. I mean he’s the best of all time at everything right?

Flair of course gets up and takes another Pedigree but of course he gets up, this time throwing out a double bird to HHH. This just gets him beaten up more so he’s obviously the face. You very rarely see a heel being defiant and getting his beating because of it. The third Pedigree connects as this is complete overkill.

We get it: Flair is tough. There’s no need to kill the credibility of the Pedigree to prove this. A sledgehammer shot to I think the shoulder or something like that ends this. The fans are actually into this which is a good sign. I guess the reactions earlier on were for greatness, even though this wasn’t that great. It was good, but not great.

Rating: B-. This was very old school in nature so if you don’t like slower paced stuff, you’ll hate this. Both guys bring in a lot of psychology here which is exactly what they were supposed to do. The leg stuff worked quite well despite HHH not selling them at all at the end of the match. This was good at times but there were parts that just kind of sucked too.

The three Pedigrees were WAY too much and the fact that it took nearly half an hour to get rid of Flair is a bit of a stretch despite how great Flair is. Some people would love this while others will hate it, which to me is a good thing. It means that it’s not just a run of the mill match but rather something that gets an opinion out of people, which to me is always good.

After about three minutes of replays we see Flair being stretchered out of the arena.

Buy the Bret Hart DVD, which was quite good actually.

Team Smackdown says they have to make up for Batista’s injury while Bradshaw sounds stupid. This was a waste of three minutes of my life.

Edge and Lita come out to say that the Cutting Edge will be debuting soon. He was hurt at the moment so this was their way to keep him on camera which really is a great idea. Edge goes after Dmitri Young who is a hometown baseball guy in the front row. He and Lita insult Young for about five minutes with nothing of note to say about it. Yep, that was a waste of time.

We recap Kurt vs. Cena which was something like this: Angle wants a title show and has his own referee that’s going to cheat to make him win. That’s all you’ve got to know here.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Kurt Angle

This both has the big match feeling and doesn’t have it. I’m leaning towards no because of the spinner belt and Daivari as the referee. Angle looks far better in the darker colored singlet. The same can be said of Cena if you change the word singlet for long shorts. Angle naturally immediately starts on the leg as we have LOUD dueling chants. They’re out of sync though so it takes a trained ear to get what’s being said.

It’s nice hearing Styles speaking with an interest in the product. Ross and Lawler rarely sounded interested in matches and while Styles isn’t as great as he’s built up to be by any means, he’s awesome at times. Dang we’ve been going for about three minutes and those chants literally haven’t stopped. They’re quieting a bit but by no means are they stopping. If this was in front of a Wrestlemania sized crowd with these kinds of fans….good night that would be amazing.

These two could main event a Mania as well, and given Angle it’s not completely out of the question to have that happen. This is one of the hottest crowds I’ve ever seen. Cena gets a cover and Daivari just stands there and we have a story. Ankle lock is hooked, finally called the Angle Lock like it should have been many times before, and the referee is all over it. He finally gets the ropes and of course the hold isn’t broken.

He gets out himself and slaps the referee (I’ll be referring to him as that because Daivari requires that I think as I type) and Angle makes the diving save to stop the disqualification. Oh for those fans that might be new, Daivari is now known as Sheik Abdul Bashir in TNA. The referee gets bumped by Cena and we go to the floor. Angle pops his hips on a sweet belly to belly overhead suplex to Cena. That was always an awesome move.

A real referee comes down and we now have a far more normal match. They go to the mat for awhile and it occurs to me that Angle can get away with far more boring moves on the mat such as just basic grapples because of his background. When he uses something like a front facelock I buy it a lot more because he’s an Olympian. That just goes to show you what a real background can do for someone. Cena can do a great job of fighting back.

There’s just something about him that makes you want to watch him which is something that very few people can accomplish. There go those chants again. Cena starts the comeback as I’m starting to wonder where Daivari is. He didn’t get hit by anything huge. Cena just knocked Angle into him and he’s been down at least five minutes. Angle apparently needs glasses because he can’t see Cena. Man maybe he really does as he clotheslines the heck out of the referee and low blows Cena.

A third referee comes out and for some reason has NO problem with Angle laying out his colleague. Now wait a minute. As they mentioned earlier, it’s standard operating procedure for a new referee to run out in case the regular one gets knocked out. That means that someone, and I’d assume the referee that ran down, has to be watching the match in the back right? If not how would he know that he was needed in the ring? If that’s the case, why couldn’t he disqualify Angle?

This is what overbooking a match does to it: it brings up a lot of loopholes that aren’t needed. After a few minutes of good stuff, Angle misses a picture perfect moonsault. I mean that was lucha libre quality. Angle gets out of the FU and then hits the third referee and rolls Daivari, who is still out cold, back in.

A fourth referee, this one from Smackdown, comes out as Cena DDTs Daivari for no apparent reason as he was already out cold. With four people laying in the ring (Cena and three referees), Cena plays possum and Angle walks into the FU for the pin. I want more of this!

Rating: B+. This is a great example of a situation where the extra booking was 100% not needed. I was completely buying into this match which is something that very rarely happens to me. There’s a natural connection here that is very clear and it worked incredibly well. I don’t get why there needed to be the gimmick with the referees and things like that. A lot of the times less is more and this is certainly one of those times. I’d love to see these guys go at it even more.

Watch this really bad show that we’re calling a special!

Eric Bischoff vs. Teddy Long

Eric is of course dressed in his karate stuff, because anyone that follows tournament karate knows that Eric Bischoff is a great fighter. I will never get over Schiavone saying that at Starrcade 97. Teddy is with Palmer Cannon, who was a very short term character that was a representative of the network. He served absolutely zero purpose and I’ve never been sure what the point of having him was.

Granted to be fair I missed about a year and a half of Smackdown due to not having the station and just not being interested in it. I would always catch the spoilers though so I at least knew what was going on. The words to describe how I feel going into this match haven’t been invented yet. No good can come from this at all. It’s like the book in Hocus Pocus. To top it off, Cole and Coach are your commentators. I just had to stop the video for the sake of laughter.

Coach: “Eric Bischoff is a mixed martial artist.” I don’t care or know if that’s true or not but it’s the funniest image I can think of. Can you imagine him against Brock or GSP? Cole starts the Did You Know tradition with a stat that I’m not going to remember in a few seconds. Yep it’s gone. The bell rang 45 seconds ago. In that time they’ve avoided contact with each other, Teddy has posed on the ropes and then he danced a bit. This is riveting stuff!

Cole calls Bischoff Mr. Miyagi. The one liners for this match are going to take up a full page. After about a minute and a half I think we made contact but I’m not sure. Teddy dances more than Shawn Michaels imitating Shane. Cannon gets on the apron for no apparent reason and imitates the things that Long has been doing as Bischoff chokes Long with his belt. Why am I watching this? Oh there’s two referees, one from Raw one from Smackdown because this needs more people.

We have our second boring chant as we’re still doing the choking thing. Bischoff changes the pace a bit by using the world’s worst sleeper. Cannon gets up again and Long uses the distraction of both referees (since a guy named Palmer Cannon is obviously a major threat) to take his shoe off and hit Eric with it to break up the “hold”. Wouldn’t the shoe be legal? It’s not a foreign object unless it was made in Japan or something like that so I don’t get it.

Eric takes over again with a Kung Fu YEAH and a Karate Chop! Give me a break I have to make jokes like those to keep myself awake during this mess. We’re on boring chant number four and the Boogeyman’s music hits. He had only been around for a few weeks at this point and nothing was known about him.

The referees go up the ramp to stop him and naturally he’s behind Eric. I love how a guy like Boogeyman used a freaking pumphandle slam. Papa Shango used a shoulderbreak. I’m not sure which is dumber. Teddy gets the pin with ease and dances a bit more. He really is a tiny man. Ok so he dances a lot.

Rating: O, as in oh I can’t think about this anymore. Give me anything else please!

Armageddon proimo.

Team Smackdown is coming to the ring as the Smackdown guys cheer them on. The Raw guys do the same thing. The backstory here is simple. There was a special called WWE Homecoming where there was a Smackdown match scheduled but Bischoff canceled it because it wasn’t up to his standards. The feud sprang from there. Other than that, the only thing you need to know is that Eddie has just passed away and Orton is his replacement and Batista was injured by Show and Kane.

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Raw: Shawn Michaels, Carlito, Chris Masters, Kane, Big Show
Smackdown: Batista, Rey Mysterio, Lashley, Randy Orton, JBL

All ten guys get their own entrances because we need to kill about ten minutes or so. To further the stupidity of this we’re having all five commentators here. HBK and Orton start us off. On both shows everyone has been attacking everyone so I’ll be withholding the so and so attacked so and so on so and so show. Even Styles and Tazz are arguing. They point out that Orton has been the sole survivor in the previous two Survivor Series.

Again, this is what announcers are supposed to do. Rey just looks out of place on the apron with all of these big guys. Orton and HBK do nothing but punch/chop each other for a few minutes as Tazz and the rest of the announcers have their stupid fights. For some reason Chris Masters is in the main event here in something that I just don’t get. Lashley comes in and gets a great pop. Lashley is about as green as possible here with next to zero experience.

He has the amateur background to fall back on though along with insane power so he can use both of those to avoid any actual wrestling. Is there a reason why amateur guys use a ton of suplexes? Angle, Lesnar and the Steiners were all suplex machines as well as all American wrestlers. Why is that? They all use belly to belly overhead suplexes. I’ve never gotten that. Is that supposed to be something that’s used in amateur wrestling, because I’ve never seen that done in the Olympics.

After he dominates Carlito (he hit him with the Dominator so he literally did), he goes for it on Shawn but Kane grabs him from the apron and hits a chokeslam to allow HBK to pin him. I guess that’s a smart move as it keeps Lashley from looking weak because cheating beat him. That’s about as good as you could have done there I suppose. Rey comes in after Lashley as HBK is still in there.

Kane comes in for Raw and Rey of course dominates him because Kane can’t look good in a big match ever. Kane and Show are Raw tag champions at the time too which I forgot to mention. Kane just about kills Rey with a boot. That was awesome looking. Tazz is just ripping into Coach on commentary.

It’s funny but it’s distracting as all five guys are fighting and not a thing is being said about the match. I’ve always found that to be incredibly disrespectful. It shouldn’t be about the announcers but about the wrestlers, period.

Batista comes in and after more double teaming he takes out Kane with a spinebuster. He gets up and walks into a Big Show chokeslam which doesn’t take him out. The double one from Kane and Big Show does though so we’re down to 4-3. JBL comes in next and in a flat out SCARY show of strength, Big Show catches him coming off the top rope. That’s ridiculous.

Soon thereafter, the whole Smackdown team attacks Show, beginning with a Clothesline From JBL, a 619, an RKO (Massive pop for that), a second Clothesline From JBL and all of that doesn’t keep him down, but Rey jumps on him and that’s enough for a 3. This is why I hate Rey. He’s one of my all time favorites but at times he makes me want to rip my hair out. Why should that pin Big Show when he was almost up from all of those finishers?

That just doesn’t make any sense. JBL destroys his future employee on the floor while we try to figure out who Rey is supposed to be fighting and it’s Masters. Carlito comes in and slows down everything with a chinlock that goes on far too long. HBK is still down on the floor from the fall away slam that JBL hit him with. Rey finally gets up and makes a blind tag to JBL. With Rey distracting him, Bradshaw hits one of the best Clotheslines From JBL I’ve ever seen.

He half kills Carlito and gets the easy pin. He proceeds to beat the holy tar out of Masters, thus continuing to prove his worth. It’s Rey in now as HBK is still down meaning that the hopes of Raw rest on the shoulders of Chris Masters. I don’t even need to make fun of that one. Rey Drops the Dime on him and makes it 3-1. Styles has barely talked the whole match.

Shawn is thrown back in and Rey hits the 619. He goes for something that wasn’t clear but takes a less great looking version of the ending Shawn and Shelton did to take him out. Here comes JBL and there goes JBL with another kick. Bradshaw was in there less than ten seconds. We’re down to Orton and Michaels. We hit the floor but Shawn launches himself over the ropes as we’re doing the same thing we did back in 2003 which had far better drama and emotion to it but whatever.

The fans chant WE WANT TAKER who had been promised for the show and we have less than ten minutes to go. Shawn initiates his ending sequence to a rather weak pop if that’s what you want to call it. The elbow hits but gets two. JBL is still here and swings at Shawn with a chair. Michaels kicks it in him face but turns around to set up the RKO for the pin. The Smackdown locker room hits the ring and have Orton on their collective shoulders and there’s the inevitable gong.

This was the fall after Orton had feuded with Taker. It’s the expensive Taker return, complete with druids and a casket. A HUGE lightning bolt hits the casket which has been set up and it’s lit on fire. Taker eventually kicks it open as this is seeing vaguely familiar.

Cole then points out that Orton had Taker in a coffin and lit it on fire, which is the same story that was done seven years prior with Kane. I remember that angle and the first was light years better. Taker come to the ring and beats up the Smackdown jobbers before staring down Orton to end the show. They would have a Hell in a Cell match at Armageddon to end their feud.

Rating: B. This was good enough, but Masters and Carlito being there just didn’t work for me. Lashley was a rookie and the ending was a rip off of a far better one a few years earlier. Shawn was the only one on his team worth having so putting him in the end was the best idea. This show lost a lot with Eddie not being there and the week of buildup that they lost but that was an issue for the whole show.

The match was good, but the ending leaves a bit to be desired. Smackdown won, but so what? It means nothing really, and that’s where this match falls apart for me. The wrestling is good and it feels like a big match when you’re watching it, but at the end you realize that nothing happened at all.

Overall Rating: B. This was actually a really good show. When I’m giving the overall grade I go back and look at the card and the grades I gave them but that’s not the main thing I go on. This is a great example of why that’s the case. The matches individually other than the GM match were all very good with nothing at all not above watchable. However, there’s just something about this show that I can’t put my finger on. Something keeps this show from being great.

Maybe it’s the lack of build which wasn’t anything they could help due to Eddie, but it still takes away from the show. The wrestling here is great but the emotion isn’t there. Maybe their thoughts were on Eddie or something like that, but there’s just something missing from this show and it keeps it from being excellent. Certainly recommended, but that X factor isn’t there.

 

 

 

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