IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: April 28, 2005
Location: NEC Arena, Birmingham, England
Attendance: 9,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re still over in England and this time around we’ll be seeing a four way elimination match to determine the first challenger for John Cena’s Smackdown World Title. There is a good chance that match is going to be getting a lot of the TV time, though I’m hoping we get some time on Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Carlito to open things up with Carlito’s Cabana. Carlito goes over some British food stereotypes and wants to spit apple in the Queen’s face. See, England is NOT cool because they have not yet discovered cool. We get a picture of Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip, who must not be cool.

That brings him to his guest: Kurt Angle, who immediately agrees with Carlito’s take on England. There really is nothing cool around here, like making Shawn Michaels tap at Wrestlemania or beating Eddie Guerrero a few weeks ago. That’s cool, but what is REALLY cool is winning the four way tonight and going on to become a five time WWE Champion. This brings out a rather muscular British wrestler to interrupt and Angle isn’t happy.

The guy introduces himself as Steve Lewington, who wants to take part in the Kurt Angle Invitational. That isn’t happening, but Angle throws in a bad British accent to say no in a better way. Angle sends him away and jumps him from behind, which is the American way. He promises to become #1 contender tonight….and Lewington jumps him from behind. A low blow cuts Lewington off though and the Angle Slam/ankle lock make it even worse. Carlito adds an apple spit. This felt like filler, which can be a problem on the British shows.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero vs. Paul London

London is defending and Torrie Wilson is guest ring announcer for obvious reasons. London’s head was stapled together a few weeks ago so Chavo sends him face first into the buckle in a smart move. A few more shots to the head don’t do much good so London hits a rolling kick to the face, followed by a dropsault for two. London goes up top but gets shoved off, sending him ribs first into the turnbuckle and out to the floor. That’s quite the crash and it’s enough for the countout.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have the time to go anywhere but it should set up a rematch for the title down the line. Chavo has a reasonable complaint about losing the title in a battle royal so giving him a few matches against London is a good idea. What might not be a good idea is having your champion lose like this when he isn’t the most established star in the first place.

Post match Chavo celebrates with the title but Torrie says she has been informed that a championship cannot change hands on a countout. Is there reason to believe that she knew that before he told him? Chavo lets out some frustrations with a Gory Bomb.

We recap the issues between Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero, which included them losing the Tag Team Titles last week.

The Daily Star Girls are here….and that’s it.

Sharmell is firing Booker T. up when Heidenreich shows up. Booker gets in his face….but Heidenreich just wants to read a poem about the four way. Sharmell can dig the poem, which has Booker winning. Heidenreich is happy because he made two friends tonight. They really still see potential in this poetry gimmick?

Eddie comes in to see Rey to try and bury the hatchet. As Eddie talks about being a bad partner lately, Chavo comes in to say he’s going to win the Cruiserweight Title soon. If the two of them play their cards right, they could be champions again. Eddie doesn’t like this line of thinking and says everyone is just like Chavo: jealous of the relationship Eddie and Rey have. He and Rey are family, but Chavo doesn’t buy that because Rey is no Guerrero.

Eddie says Rey has been more of a brother than his own blood and is there for him every time. Eddie asks if Rey is his family and Rey cuts off Chavo for interfering. Chavo isn’t part of this and needs to leave. Chavo leaves and Rey agrees that they are great friends and partners. Yeah Eddie may not be all there mentally sometimes but that’s the case with everyone. His heart is in it though and that’s what counts now and forever. It’s time to go win some titles. Awesome stuff here, as has been the case with almost everything Eddie and Rey have been doing.

Tag Team Titles: MNM vs. Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio

Eddie and Rey are challenging. It’s Nitro in trouble early as both Eddie and Rey get in a few shots to the face. Nitro sends Eddie to the apron, allowing Mercury to pull him down to the floor and then post him for a bonus. As the fans whistle at Melina, the champs start keeping Guerrero down in the corner like a good team should. Eddie gets up without much trouble and drives over for the tag to Rey, who springboards in as only he can. He also accidentally runs into Eddie as only he can, though a springboard moonsault is still good enough for two on Mercury.

A hurricanrana looks to set up the 619 on Mercury as Eddie is walking out. One heck of a powerbomb plants Mysterio as Eddie is watching on the Titantron. Eddie eventually comes back and gets on the apron as we take a break. Back with Rey in trouble, including Nitro’s breakdancing legdrop connecting for two.

We hit the waistlock as Eddie is looking annoyed on the apron. Nitro switches to a reverse chinlock until Rey kicks him off, only to have Eddie look like he’s sitting through a seminar on proper handwashing technique. Eddie won’t reach his hand out when Rey gets over so Mercury pulls him away and drops an elbow to the back. The assisted elevated DDT plants Rey to retain the titles.

Rating: C. This worked very well from a storytelling perspective though not so much from a wrestling perspective. That wasn’t the point here though and the big angle was quite good as an enhanced version of how Strike Force split back at Wrestlemania V. It was very well done and it’s likely to keep being awesome.

Post match MNM destroys Rey and posts him as Eddie just stands there watching from the apron. He slowly walks away as Rey screams for him to come back in one of the best moments they’ve done in a long time.

Post break we recap the whole thing, which isn’t as effective with Cole calling every step of it.

John Cena vs. Rene Dupree

Non-title. Before Cena comes out, Rene talks about being a REAL European athlete because he’s from France. Dupree starts fast and even gets in a spinebuster for some right hands. We hit the reverse chinlock again before a kick to the back sets up a second version. Cena finally realizes how boring this is and finishes with the usual in a hurry.

Rating: D. This was rather boring despite barely breaking three minutes. Cena vs. Dupree has been done so many times and it isn’t made better by the fact that Dupree has never felt like a threat to him. I had almost forgotten that Dupree was even a thing at this point and that might be better for everyone.

Matt Morgan vs. Mikey Whiplash

Whiplash would go on to become a name in British wrestling. Morgan gets to stutter about how he stutters. Who in the world looked at someone like Morgan and thought STUTTERING was the right way to go? Morgan blasts him in the face for what he thought was laughter and generally mauls him for a bit before finishing with the suplex into the hard Rock Bottom for the pin in a hurry.

JBL, still with the classic title belt, says it doesn’t matter where we are, because the fans still want to chant his name. Big Show comes in to say JBL says the same thing every week. No matter what he says, JBL is on a losing streak (no he isn’t) and tonight it’s going to continue (no it isn’t).

We go behind the scenes of John Cena’s music video (for Bad Bad Man with all of it’s 80s greatness), complete with Christina Aguliera showing up and sounding rather uninterested. The video premieres next week.

Booker T. vs. Big Show vs. John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Kurt Angle

Elimination rules for the #1 contendership and Orlando Jordan is here with JBL. Angle already has the straps down so you know this is serious. The brawl is on in a hurry to start with Show cleaning house, even knocking away a German suplex attempt. A legdrop crushes JBL and sends Booker flying off a toss. Show crushes all three of them in the corner but Angle pops out with an Angle Slam for one.

Booker adds the ax kick for two and the Clothesline From JBL gets the same. They knock Show outside for the huge Angle Slam through the table….and a countout for the elimination. In a four way? That’s a creative way to get rid of him, even if it goes against the general rules of the match. We take a break and come back with Booker fighting out of the corner but crotching himself off a missed sidekick.

A whip into the steps slows JBL down and Angle suplexes Booker for two. JBL comes back in and walks into a Book End for two but Angle is right back with the rolling German suplexes for the same on Booker. Neither the Angle Slam or the Book End can connect so Angle picks the ankle. That’s broken up as well so Angle hits the Slam for two more. Booker’s superkick gets his own near fall as Jordan slides in a chair. That earns him an ejection and the distraction lets Angle chair Booker in the head for the second elimination to get us down to one on one.

We take another break and come back with JBL slightly cut open and Angle fighting out of a chinlock. The ankle lock goes on but gets broken up just as quickly and there’s the fall away slam. The Clothesline hits the referee though, just as Angle gets the ankle lock. JBL calls out the Bashams for the save so it’s a bunch of suplexes all around. That includes some rolling German suplexes to JBL and the ankle lock gets the tap, which no one sees. Cue Booker to chair Angle down, allowing JBL to steal the pin and the title shot.

Rating: B-. Booker vs. Angle made this work rather well, even when the ending was as obvious as you could have gotten. They have made no secret about the fact that this was JBL’s win the entire way and that’s fine. It makes the most sense and you can have the other three get title shots later on if they want to. Not a great match, but it got around the clear finish and that’s kind of hard to do.

JBL does You Can’t See Me to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a story heavy show and that gave it a way around some of the lame wrestling. The shows over in England are often a bit off wrestling wise (probably due to the travel issues) so going with some big angle advancement was the right call. It’s a good show and now we can start the build towards whatever their next pay per view is going to be.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: April 21, 2005
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 17,258
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

The search for a #1 contender continues with Booker T. vs. Big Show for the final spot in the #1 contenders triple threat match. The other, and likely more interesting, story is the issues between Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio, who are still the reigning Smackdown Tag Team Champions. For now at least. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

WWE Championship Series: Big Show vs. Booker T.

JBL, with the now former version of the WWE Title, is on commentary. Booker’s wife Sharmell is in the front row. Hold on though as here’s Kurt Angle, which doesn’t sit well with JBL. Kurt stares at JBL and then joins commentary as well. Booker’s waistlock doesn’t get him anywhere as JBL goes on one of his great rants about how unfair this whole thing is. Angle mentions being a four time WWE Champion, with Cole bringing up the gold medal. Angle: “That too.” Some shots to the knees have Show down but he uses the good leg to kick away in the corner.

The standing legdrop gives Show two as Angle comes to the realization that he would face JBL one on one if no one wins here. Oh here we go. As JBL yells about Angle being bald, Show cuts off the comeback with a superkick. The big boot misses though and Show crotches himself on the ropes. The Book End gets two and a Cactus Clothesline puts both of them on the floor. That’s enough for Angle and JBL to get up and beat them both down for the double DQ.

Rating: D+. This was all about the story instead of the match itself, a lot of which was missed for the sake of showing commentary. You can see the four way coming from here because heels never learn in WWE but at least the commentary was entertaining until we got to the finish. Show is already back to where he was before his comeback though and that’s a bit sad to see.

Post match Show and Booker clear the ring and here’s Theodore Long to say not so fast. As expected, next week will now be a four way #1 contenders match, because this company can’t even go through three matches without changing the format of a series it created. As for tonight, tag match playa, holla holla holla!

It’s time for Carlito’s Cabana, with the fans behind Carlito in a bit of a surprise. We’re in New York City and that’s not cool. He has no problem with spitting part of the Big Apple in their faces because he doesn’t like it here. Earlier today, he was walking the streets and saw hundreds of kids with no chance of growing up to be cool. New Yorkers are known for losing their cool, which brings him to his guest tonight, who is the opposite of cool: Eddie Guerrero.

The fans are VERY behind Eddie here as Carlito brings up Eddie’s absence last week when MNM laid Rey Mysterio out. We see a clip, but Eddie threatens to do some violent things to Carlito if he says cool again. Eddie would like Rey to come out here right now for a chat so here he is. A lot has changed in the last year with Eddie going from holding up the WWE Championship in this building a year ago and now….this. Eddie has become clouded and selfish and it cost Rey a shot at the WWE Championship.

Instead of focusing on what he doesn’t have, Eddie is focusing on what he does have: his health, and his family, like Rey. They shake hands but here are MNM on the screen. Melina wastes no time in issuing the challenge but Eddie wants them to say it face to face. They say they’re happier back here, and step aside to reveal Eddie’s low rider. Spray painting ensues and Eddie rants in Spanish.

During the break, Eddie and Rey went to the car and the title match is on for tonight.

The returning Matt Morgan, now with a stutter, says he isn’t nervous because he commands attention. And that would be it for Morgan’s chances at going anywhere in WWE.

Orlando Jordan tells the Bashams, who are about three feet from him, to get over here right now. He wants them to help him beat up John Cena tonight to soften him up for JBL. Jordan leaves and Danny says he’s getting sick of this.

Matt Morgan vs. Brett Matthews

Morgan thinks Matthews is laughing at him so the destruction is on in a hurry, including a big boot. A side slam sets up a suplex into a Rock Bottom (later named the Hellevator/Nightmare Pendulum) gives Morgan the pin in a hurry. Matthews would later change his name to something that stuck a little better: Zack Ryder.

John Bradshaw Layfield/Kurt Angle vs. Booker T./Big Show

Booker and JBL stare at each other to start but Show comes in before anything happens. That means the big overhand chop and a headbutt as Show does his usual slow paced offense which looks effective enough. With JBL knocked down and out to the floor, it’s off to Angle, whose headlock is carried into the corner. Booker comes in for a headlock and cleans house without much effort. The side kick takes too long though and it’s time to roll some German suplexes.

Angle low bridges him to the floor and it’s Booker in trouble for a change. A whip into the corner sets up a waistlock with a grapevine to keep Booker down and Angle gets some near falls. JBL holds Booker down for some Angle stomping and a belly to belly makes it even worse. The rib work continues with a bodyscissors but Booker gets up and grabs a DDT. The hot tag brings in Show to clean house and run everyone over but the Angle Slam cuts him off. Show is back up and grabs a chokeslam on JBL as Angle walks out on the match. The ax kick and the chokeslam finish JBL.

Rating: D+. Totally standard main event tag match here with Angle showing some intelligence because this means nothing in the long term. They aren’t hiding the obvious ending to next week’s match and that’s acceptable enough here, though JBL vs. Cena again isn’t the most thrilling prospect in the world.

Here’s Heidenreich for a chat. He’s been here for a few days now and has even made a few friends. He would like to bring out one of those friends right now, so here is the Brooklyn Brawler (who has theme music). Heidenreich reads a poem about him, which basically says the Brawler is here. The Brawler isn’t impressed and says that was embarrassing.

The only more embarrassing thing was when the Yankees choked against the Red Sox last year in the playoffs. That was so embarrassing that Brawler takes off his shirt to reveal a Red Sox shirt. Now, he is the BOSTON BRAWLER, earning himself a beating from Heidenreich. I remember the Brawler doing this and it very well might be more memorable than anything Heidenreich did in his career.

We look back at MNM ruining the low rider.

Tag Team Titles: MNM vs. Rey Mysterio/Eddie Guerrero

MNM is challenging and we get the very cool paparazzi entrance (another one which was incredible in OVW, especially with Superstar as their theme song). The brawl is on before the bell with Eddie backdropping Nitro to get things going. Mercury is sent outside as well, with Cole declaring it a tag team clinic about thirty seconds in. Back from a break with Rey dropkicking Nitro down and Eddie nailing the slingshot hilo.

A Nitro distraction lets Mercury knock Eddie off the apron though and the champs are in trouble for the first time. Mercury grabs an abdominal stretch, which is broken up in a hurry for the hot tag off to Rey. That’s fine with Nitro, who fireman’s carries him into a gutbuster from Mercury to take over again. Eddie comes back in anyway as everything breaks down. Rey loads up the 619 but Melina distracts Eddie, allowing MNM to hit their elevated DDT for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C. I’ve always liked MNM and this is a good way to start them off in a hurry. It’s not a great match or anything but they advanced the Eddie vs. Rey story and made some new stars in the tag division at the same time. That’s a rather nice use of ten minutes and a much better debut than the Heart Throbs had on Raw.

Post match Eddie shoves Rey down and goes to leave but Rey shoves him down on the floor and leaves by himself.

Raw Rebound. I wouldn’t remind people of that show.

MNM has a photo shoot by their limo and Melina is very pleased.

John Cena vs. Orlando Jordan

Non-title. Before the match, Cena, in a Babe Ruth Yankees jersey, says he’s hearing the sounds of New York and lists off some boroughs to make the crowd happy. Cena talks about how New York is built on tradition and that makes it special. New York knows how to adapt and overcome, which he will do here. Dude it’s Orlando Jordan. You could win this match without taking the jersey off. Jordan only has one Basham here and that isn’t going to end well.

Jordan gets in an early shoulder but gets punched in the corner. Doug Basham offers a distraction so Jordan can hit a DDT, which is probably about it for his big time offense. Cena comes back but gets sent shoulder first into the post so Jordan can hammer away. The bearhug is broken up with a shot to the head and a suplex puts both of them down. Back up and some clotheslines have Jordan in trouble as Cena initiates his finishing sequence. Doug has to take an FU and as the referee gets rid of him, cue Danny to belt Cena in the head. Jordan’s top rope elbow gets two and, after dropping Danny, Cena finishes with the FU.

Rating: D. What were you expecting here? Jordan isn’t interesting and isn’t worth watching but he’s here almost every single week and we have to watch him have one bad match after another. There was no way that Cena was losing here and it was a matter of time until Cena beat him. They didn’t spend too much time on it, but any time spent watching Jordan feels like an eternity.

Overall Rating: D+. The wrestling was not good here but the storytelling made up for a lot of it and that’s what matters more. The Eddie vs. Rey stuff is a very good story and I’m digging how they’ve made one logical step after another. That is the case with JBL vs. Cena as well, though that one isn’t as interesting. It wasn’t a great show here, but they’re setting things up and you can see where it’s going.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: April 14, 2005
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re in the process of finding a new #1 contender, which is likely to be JBL. Thankfully we get some big matches on the way there, including one tonight with Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero. That is one of those matches that can’t be screwed up so we should be in for a good evening. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the #1 contender series, with Eddie Guerrero costing Rey Mysterio his match against JBL.

Opening sequence.

Orlando Jordan vs. Booker T.

Non-title with JBL on commentary. Speaking of JBL, he offers an early distraction so Jordan can get in a cheap shot to take over. Jordan stops to pose like the schnook that he is and Booker kicks him in the face, only to have the Bashams run in for the DQ.

Post match the beatdown is on but Big Show runs (faster than I’ve seen him move in years) in for the save. Theodore Long, handicap match.

Orlando Jordan/Basham Brothers vs. Big Show/Booker T.

Show pulls Danny over the ropes to start but Doug breaks up a chokeslam attempt to Jordan. Booker beats up the Bashams and Show spears Danny on the floor. The Spinarooni sets up the ax kick and Doug is done in a hurry.

Post match we’re told Big Show faces Booker next week in the #1 contender series, which makes sense given Show’s current nice guy status. As a bonus, JBL yells at the rest of the Cabinet.

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

Fallout from last week’s bikini contest. Dawn kicks her in the ribs to start and sends her face first into the mat. They go to a pinfall reversal sequence of all things until Dawn hits an X Factor for two. Torrie gets two off a rollup before finishing with the swinging neckbreaker.

Video on the Australia tour.

It’s time for the debut of Carlito’s Cabana, complete with a hammock and coconut drinks. And a basket of apples for the health conscious guest, though if you disrespect him, he will spit on you. Carlito mocks the Cubs as lovable losers, just like his first guest: Rey Mysterio. We look back at Eddie Guerrero costing Rey his match against JBL last week, ending his chances at becoming #1 contender.

Rey admits that he’s mad at Eddie and hasn’t talked to him in a week but they’re family. He’ll be WWE Champion one day though, which Carlito doesn’t buy. It’s clear that Eddie is jealous of him and things are about to get a lot worse. Cue the debuting MNM, with Carlito’s eyes bugging out over Melina’s entrance (fair enough). Carlito dubs them cool and Melina handles the introductions.

They could be Tag Team Champions since Latino Heat and Mucha Lucha aren’t getting along. That’s a challenge so Rey makes fun of Melina’s breath. The beatdown is on and it’s an elevated DDT to plant Rey as the EDDIE chants don’t get him any help. Carlito sits in his lounge chair and seems impressed with the whole thing. This was a heck of a debut as you instantly get the idea of the team with the paparazzi style entrance and their overall appeal. They were outstanding down in OVW and the whole idea works even better on the main roster. Very good stuff here.

Post match JBL yells at the Cabinet some more, blaming them for costing him the World Title. A deliveryman brings in a box, which is addressed to John Cena. JBL pays him off and gets the box instead.

Rey is on the trainer’s table when an irate Eddie comes in to say he’ll deal with MNM. Rey says just leave him alone because he wasn’t there when Rey needed him. Eddie claims car trouble but Rey isn’t convinced and yells about last week. Things calm down a bit with Eddie dedicating his match against Kurt Angle tonight to Rey.

Here’s John Cena, sans title belt, for a WWE Championship presentation. Cena talks about how Chicago does it big, because they’re hosting Wrestlemania XXII next year. That brings him to the title, which everyone is chasing. Cena has made a new title belt but since JBL stole it, he can bring it out here right now. Either that or Cena can come get it.

Cue JBL, who orders some goons to bring out a trashcan and a box. JBL takes off his jacket to reveal the current title, which still has Cena’s name on it. Cena: “Looks like you made a habit out of stealing my stuff.” JBL goes on a rant about Cena ruining tradition and promises to destroy what Cena has planned for tonight. Cena says hang on as JBL opens the box and reaches in to find….guts from a slaughterhouse.

JBL is disgusted so Cena goes up and pours the whole box onto his white shirt. As I try to get my head around how lucky it is that JBL just happened to be there to intercept the box from the delivery man, Cena gets back in the ring and has the new title lowered. And yes, it’s the spinner title as we enter the dark ages.

Heidenreich vs. ???

Tazz gets his history wrong by saying that we’ve never had a poet in WWE before, meaning Michael Cole has to serve as historian. What does it say when Cole is outsmarting you? The unnamed guy hammers away in the corner but gets kicked in the face as Heidenreich talks about wanting to be friends. A corner clothesline sets up more shouting and it’s a sitout Boss Man Slam to give Heidenreich the pin.

Post match, with the jobber in the corner, Heidenreich reads a poem about….breaking wind because we’re in the Windy City. It is exactly what you would expect. That’s a Vince promo if I’ve ever heard one.

Booker and Sharmell are fired up for next week but Booker has to stop for a photo shoot. Kurt Angle comes up to say it doesn’t matter who wins next week because Angle is on a roll. Sharmell calms things down so Angle accuses Booker of needing a woman to fight his battles. Sharmell: “Oh no you didn’t.” She brings up Eddie beating Angle last year at Wrestlemania and does Booker’s catchphrase. Sharmell can actually talk outside of hailing King Booker.

Here’s Paul London with a bandage around his head after last week’s bloody match. We see part of last week’s beatdown at the hands of Billy Kidman and Chavo Guerrero before London talks about needing eighteen staples in his head. He can’t wrestle tonight so he’s here for a fight, meaning it’s time to call out Chavo.

Cue Chavo, who claims that London stole the Cruiserweight Title in the first place. London has never beaten him because he is the greatest of all time. Chavo is coming for the title as soon as London is cleared. An honorable man like Chavo would never fight an injured man, so here’s Kidman from behind to jump London. The champ fights him off and hits a DDT to set up the 450.

Raw Rebound.

We recap the #1 contender series. All one match of it.

WWE Championship Series: Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero

Feeling out process to start with Eddie taking him down by the arm. Angle reverses into a wristlock, with Eddie reversing into one of his own. That’s not working for Angle, who stacks Eddie up for two and a standoff. Eddie gets smart by picking up the pace and dropkicks Angle to the floor as they are taking their time here. Back in and a headlock takeover works a bit better for Angle but Eddie reverses into another armbar.

Eddie switches things up with Three very fast Amigos but has to roll through the frog splash as we take a break. Back with Angle uppercutting away and hitting the first belly to belly to work on the ribs. The Angle Slam is countered into a hurricanrana as they’re getting into their standard story here of Angle being laser focused with his natural skills and Eddie being creative and adapting as the match goes on. It’s very Bret vs. Shawn and they’re talented enough to make it work.

The ref gets bumped so Eddie goes outside and puts a chair near the announcers’ table before dropping down on the mat. It’s not quite enough for the DQ so Angle snaps off a German suplex. A backbreaker gives Angle some near falls and we hit the bodyscissors. Eddie gets creative by elbowing the leg for the break, earning himself another hard German suplex. With nothing else working, Angle tries a super Angle Slam, which gets elbowed away. The frog splash hits knees though and we take another break.

Back with Angle grabbing the waistlock again before the Angle Slam is countered into a DDT for the double knockdown. Angle is up first and the Slam gets two to put them both down again. It’s time to roll some German suplexes for two more but Eddie hits Three more Amigos. The frog splash gets two and a small package is good for the same as Angle has to pull his singlet back up. He’s made enough to pick the ankle but Eddie rolls it away for the ref bump.

Angle grabs the chair from earlier, which draws out Rey to take it away. Eddie sees Rey holding the chair and thinks he’s going to hit him, allowing Angle to ram Rey into Eddie, knocking him silly with the chair. The referee comes back in so Angle can pin Eddie and advance.

Rating: B+. Were you expecting anything less from Angle vs. Eddie for 25 minutes? Actually you might have been as these two can put on some masterpieces. This one was just very good with some storyline advancement tied into the rather awesome match. The storytelling was there and the wedge between Eddie and Rey is furthered. That’s one of the better TV matches you’ll see in a long time and it flew by, which is always a bonus.

Eddie yells at Rey to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. It takes a lot to knock a show with this kind of a main event down this far but the rest of the night was terrible. You had a bunch of nothing matches, Heidenreich’s juvenile promo and the debut of the spinner belt. What else was positive on here other than the main event and MNM’s debut? Sharmell yelling at Angle maybe? Excellent main event but egads the rest of the show is awful.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: April 7, 2005
Location: iPayOne Center, San Diego, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the first show after Wrestlemania and that means things are going to be resetting just a bit. John Cena won the Smackdown World Title and that means things should feel a little more energized around here. I’m not sure what to expect, but hopefully it’s a better structured show than Raw. Let’s get to it.

Here are Sunday’s results it you need a recap.

This one is rated TV-MA, which should make it a bit more interesting.

Here’s JBL to get things going, because we’re doing the same thing Raw did. Cole says that JBL’s title reign lasted 244 days, which isn’t really close to the 280 that it actually was. That’s quite the error but we’ll move on to JBL ranting about how awesome he is/was while John Cena left the arena in handcuffs last week. Cena is not in his league and maybe JBL should just go back to his great life in New York City. He isn’t riding into the sunset though because he wants his rematch.

JBL quotes the Jack Nicholson court room speech from A Few Good Men but here’s Eddie Guerrero to cut him off. Eddie didn’t like hearing JBL say the people need him as champion because they only thing they need is for him to shut up. If JBL wants the title back, he’ll have to go through Eddie because he deserves it. Cue Booker T. to say they can go to the back of the line but it’s Big Show cutting them all off. The fans chant for Eddie as Big Show threatens to shove JBL’s hat somewhere.

Now it’s Rey Mysterio joining the fray and Eddie isn’t looking happy. JBL to Rey: “Try it in English.” Rey says he should get the shot because we’re in the 619 but here’s Kurt Angle to say Eddie, Big Show and JBL all lost at Wrestlemania. Booker wasn’t even on Wrestlemania! As for Rey, you can’t challenge for the title without being an adult. Angle was very busy on Sunday because he got arrested for armed robbery. He stole the show and everyone saw it and the police had to do something.

JBL tells everyone to get out of the ring but here’s Theodore Long to say JBL doesn’t have a rematch clause in his Wrestlemania contract. They all have a case and they’ll have a chance to prove it in a series of matches to determine the new #1 contender, though the word tournament isn’t mentioned. We’ll start with JBL vs. Mysterio. I’m not sure if you can call it a tournament, but that’s the same thing we just got to set up Wrestlemania.

There is a bikini contest tonight, which I really hope isn’t what makes this TV-MA.

Cruiserweight Title: Paul London vs. Billy Kidman

London is defending and Chavo Guerrero is on commentary, talking about the twenty five men who eliminated him from the battle royal last week. On a related note: I love the way Charles Robinson flips the belt up to hold it over his head. It’s a nice touch. London grabs an early armdrag but gets thrown into the corner for his efforts. A heck of an Irish whip into the corner has London in more trouble and some knees to the face make it even worse. London tries to fight up but gets sent hard into the buckle and down to the floor in a crash that looked pretty bad.

Back in and London is busted open with the blood gushing as London starts his comeback. A hurricanrana gives London two but Kidman’s dropkick is good for the same. We pause so Robinson can ask if London wants to continue and the distraction lets Kidman hit the BK Bomb. Kidman grabs a fireman’s carry but London rolls through into a small package for the pin.

Rating: C. The blood was quite the addition (as well as the TV-MA explanation) and it felt

like the match ended in a hurry as a result. London is an easy guy to like and putting him against Chavo should give us some good matches. It’s better than having the cruiserweights barely ever show up and there is never a problem with some faster paced matches.

Post match Kidman and Chavo beat London down.

Long Wrestlemania recap.

Luther Reigns mocks Big Show’s sumo gear and some humor challenged wrestlers find this HILARIOUS. Show pops up and says let’s do this right now.

Big Show vs. Luther Reigns

Show chops him to the floor to start so Reigns tries to power him into the corner. That earns him some sumo strikes back across the ring and Show knocks him outside again. A big boot and corner splash set up the chokeslam to finish Reigns. That would be Reigns’ last match on Smackdown and he’s little more than a small footnote in wrestling history. He had a great look but couldn’t do anything in the ring or anything significant on the mic, so he went nowhere.

Here’s John Cena for his first comments as champ and the fans seem happy to see him. Cena talks about JBL being the longest reigning champion in a decade and all the things that he accomplished with the title. After all that though, the champ is here. He’s been told that he isn’t a superstar and doesn’t respect the business or its championships. Apparently traditionalists got offended when he modified the US Title, so take a look at the coveted WWE Title.

Cena goes outside and climbs into the crowd, saying that it doesn’t matter who it is coming at him: Booker T., Eddie Guerrero, JBL, the Brooklyn Brawler, Iron Mike Sharp or Steve Gatorwolf. You want some, come get some. The celebration is on in the crowd and it does feel like a big deal and a new era.

Post break and the celebration is still on.

Here’s Kurt Angle for the Gold Medal Invitational. Before we get to that though, he talks about Cena’s days being numbered because next week he’s facing Eddie Guerrero in the #1 contender series.

Kurt Angle vs. Jose Quesada

Angle asks if Jose’s family is here and jumps him as he goes to point. German suplex, Angle Slam and ankle lock finish Jose at 36 seconds.

Post match Angle puts on the ankle lock again and makes Jose scream as a preview for Eddie.

Carlito didn’t like Piper’s Pit so next week it’s Carlito’s Cabana. Anyone cool is invited, and the interviewer thinks he might qualify. The apple is loaded up so he backs off immediately.

Rey Mysterio is ready when Eddie comes in to give him a pep talk. Mysterio isn’t wild on the idea of Eddie being out there with him after what happened last week. Besides, he can beat anyone on any given night, just like he did to Eddie on Sunday. Eddie doesn’t look happy.

Michael Cole is in the ring to host a bikini contest to plug the Viva Las Divas magazine and DVD. We have Miss Jackie, Dawn Marie and Torrie Wilson but Michelle McCool, Joy Giovanni and Lauren Jones interrupt. They should be included too so they disrobe as well and, of course, Torrie wins because she always does. This was a way to fill in time with good looking women so it worked on that front.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

Orlando Jordan is here with JBL and we finally get the rules of the series: there are three singles matches and the winners go to a triple threat match in the UK for the title shot at a date to be announced. Better than a standard tournament. Rey moves around to start and bails to the floor, eventually suckering JBL in for a dropkick.

That’s shrugged off though and JBL forearms him in the back as the fans stay behind Rey. A shot to the face knocks Mysterio down again but he’s fine enough to snap JBL’s throat across the top. Rey’s hurricanrana puts JBL on the floor and a baseball slide puts Jordan on the floor. Back from a break with Rey holding a sleeper until JBL flips him forward for the counter. JBL starts working on the ribs and back with a suplex getting two.

A straight right hand puts Rey down again and a super fall away slam is good for two more. JBL kicks him in the face for daring to try a comeback and the expected bearhug goes on. Rey bites at the face to escape so JBL plants him with a spinebuster for two instead. The belly to back superplex is countered though and Rey hits a top rope moonsault press for his own near fall.

That means the pace can pick up, including a DDT to plant JBL. Jordan breaks up the 619 though, which draws out Eddie to deal with him. Eddie hammers away on Jordan so JBL kicks him in the back for the save. Now the 619 hits JBL, with the announcers declaring that he is gonna do it. The West Coast Pop looks to finish but Eddie comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was getting good by the end and then they went to the logical ending. It’s fine to have Mysterio lose here because of Eddie as their issues can continue while also getting us closer to the logical JBL rematch. JBL knows how to put on a power display like this though and the match was entertaining as a result.

Post match the Bashams run in to go after Eddie and Rey but Cena makes the save. JBL points at him to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I liked this one better than Raw, even though Raw had better wrestling throughout the night. This show felt like it had more filler but it also felt like it was a show that kept things rolling rather than taking most of the night off. We have a series of challengers for the title (though the end result isn’t much of a secret) and actual comments from the new champ rather than seeing him getting beaten up for a few minutes in a lame match. It wasn’t a great show but it made me want to see where some things were going and that’s what you want from a show like this.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: March 24, 2005
Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Attendance: 7,300
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We have two Smackdowns left before Wrestlemania and it seems that they’re running out of ways to hide the fact that John Cena is becoming WWE Champion. You can only go so long before it’s the most obvious result in the world (other than Batista beating HHH that is) and we’ve been there for a few weeks now. It would be a good idea to focus on some other things this week so hopefully WWE gets the idea. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Tonight: a debate between Cena and JBL. Well JBL is better at talking than he is wrestling.

Tazz brings Big Show to the ring for a chat. After recapping what is going on (a sumo wrestler challenged Show and Show accepted), Tazz hypes up next week’s weigh-in with Akebono. Show doesn’t care if Akebono weighs more than he does because he’s still bigger. Cue Luther Reigns in a jeep to interrupt and this isn’t going to end well.

Reigns talks about how Show is in over his head and has no chance of winning because he’s smaller and inexperienced (the man has a point). That’s going to embarrass Theodore Long, Smackdown and the whole locker room, including Reigns himself. It should be Reigns facing Akebono, but he has an idea. This jeep weighs 4,400 pounds and Reigns is going to flip it over with his bare hands.

That is as much of a failure as you can imagine so Reigns hits the ring for the brawl. Show doesn’t have time for this and chokeslams him in short order. Before leaving though, he (eventually) turns over the jeep as expected (with a last second camera switch). This was as much of an effort as you could get to make a sumo match interesting and it didn’t work, mainly because it’s an attempt to hype up a sumo match.

Eddie Guerrero tells Chavo to leave but Chavo says they’re family. Eddie: “Sometimes I like it, sometimes I don’t.” Chavo asks Eddie what happened last week, with Eddie saying Rey got the pin because he was the legal man. Chavo wants to know what legal has to do with the Guerreros but Eddie doesn’t want to hear it. Maybe he should listen to himself though, because Chavo knows Eddie needs to know who the better man is. That gets Eddie thinking.

Classic Hulk Hogan Moment: Wrestlemania IX. Still one of the all time dumb moments.

Sylvester Stallone will be inducting Hogan into the Hall of Fame. And make sure to watch his new show the Contender.

Orlando Jordan vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

Non-title. Hold on though as JBL takes Scotty out but Scotty fights back and hits the Worm on JBL. That’s too far for JBL and we have a change.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

Non-title again and the beating is on in a hurry, including the fall away slam. The Clothesline finishes Scotty in about a minute.

Kurt Angle has a special surprise.

Here’s Theodore Long to talk about how much fun we’ve been having tonight. He has another idea though and brings out Elvis, as played by Carlito. He comes out to what sounds like Cool Cocky Bad in Spanish and promises to prove that he’s a better singer than this Elvis guy. Carlito speaks the opening words to Jailhouse Rock and then storms off when the fans aren’t happy.

Eddie has an idea for Mysterio at Wrestlemania: Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio. Rey likes the idea and then realizes that Eddie is serious. Eddie wants him to think about it but they’ve got a title defense tonight.

Tag Team Titles: Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio vs. Hardcore Holly/Charlie Haas

Holly and Haas are challenging…..and we have a gong. Undertaker appears on screen to say that many dragons have laid siege to his kingdom over the years. Randy Orton has tried to use him to make a point and has sealed his own destiny. All Orton has done is wake him up and tonight, there will be a sacrifice. And now, for the title match.

Eddie and Holly start things off with Guerrero taking him to the mat and grabbing a headlock. With that not working, Haas and Mysterio come in….and we have more thunder and lightning. We take a break and come back with Mysterio being snapmared into a double arm crank. Rey gets out of the corner and hits the springboard seated senton for a breather.

Eddie comes back in to pick up the pace with the headscissors and the Three Amigos to Haas. It’s too early for the full nelson though and Holly grabs a full nelson slam for two. A whip knocks Rey off the apron and Charlie busts out the Haas of Pain (I miss that one). It’s Rey coming back in with the springboard save so Eddie pops Rey up into a super hurricanrana to Haas. Now the frog splash can retain the time.

Rating: C. This was about the storytelling more than the wrestling, which was kind of clear when it was Holly and Haas getting the title shot. Eddie gets to feel a little better as he got the pin for a change but something like this never ends well for either partner involved. The match is going to be awesome but it’s probably going to mean new champions and given this level of competition, I don’t know who could take them.

Post match, Rey accepts the challenge for Wrestlemania and Eddie is happy.

Classic Steve Austin Moment: Austin Meets Mike Tyson.

And now, here’s Kurt Angle to Shawn Michaels music in Shawn style gear (though the HBK shirt is crossed out) but he waves someone out. That would be Sensational Sherri and Cole sounds terrified. Angle even strikes Shawn’s pose (though he leans in the wrong direction) and promises to show how he’s a bigger star than Shawn. That’s why he’s brought out Shawn’s first manager, even though Angle didn’t need a manager when he won a gold medal. Every time you hear Shawn’s music you hear Sherri’s voice. Well Angle thinks that song sucks so he’s going to do it better.

Angle then belts out his own version of Sexy Boy, saying he has the moves, including the ankle lock and declaring his sexiness (“I’m just a sexy Kurt. I’ll make your ankle hurt!”). Shawn cuts him off from the screen and says he isn’t surprised by this and we get a Shawn highlight package. Back in the arena, Angle thinks Sherri is laughing and puts her in the ankle lock. She could probably take him in a good fight so he might want to break both ankles.

This was hilarious and some of the best proof of how outstanding Kurt can be with comedy. He sold the heck out of this and the dancing made it even better. I’ve always remembered this one and it more than holds up. Oh and Shawn’s highlight package is outstanding because he’s Shawn Michaels and has more great matches than almost anyone ever.

Dawn Marie vs. Michelle McCool

Dawn jumps her to start and goes straight to the middle turnbuckle pad. Michelle takes her down to start the cat fighting portion and Dawn’s top comes off before the first two count. A headbutt puts Michelle down and Undertaker makes the lights flicker again. Dawn sends her into the buckle and grabs a rollup with feet on the ropes for the pin. I’m glad that is settled.

Carlito is leaving and threatens to beat up Funaki if he tells Long about it.

Taxi Driver Wrestlemania trailer. Still a good one.

You can vote for the Movie Trailer Awards!

Booker T. vs. Rene Dupree

Booker gets in an early kick to the face for two but Rene stomps him down in the corner. We hit the French Tickler but there’s the gong again. This time Undertaker is actually here to destroy Dupree as Booker walks off. The Tombstone onto the steps destroyed Dupree.

It’s time for the possibly above average debate between JBL and John Cena. As Cena wraps the chain around his hand, JBL wants Long to reinforce the rules from last week. That’s fine with Long, but if JBL physically provokes Cena, he can fight back. The first question goes to JBL, who is asked why he’s the better choice to be WWE Champion. JBL sucks up to the Memphis fans and talks about how great he is. Yeah HHH is a ten time champion but that means he’s lost nine times. JBL is the only champion in history to never lose his title (uh…..) and has held the title longer than anyone in ten years.

Cena asks why a rich and successful man like JBL is driving around in a broken down limo. JBL doesn’t understand so Cena goes to the floor and stabs a tire. With Long insisting that there is nothing wrong with this as Cena isn’t touching JBL, Cena busts out some spray paint and writes JBL SUCKS on the side. Cena: “I see a limo that says JBL sucks! YOU DROVE OUT HERE IN A LIMO THAT SAYS JBL SUCKS!”

Cena gets back in the ring and tells JBL to do something about it but JBL is ready for the next question. That would be “how important is one’s social and economic upbringing in being champion”. JBL rants about the rich being better for America and the only way Cena will have that kind of money is winning the lottery or turning to crime. Cena knows JBL doesn’t think much of how he dresses so maybe it’s time for a suit and tie. Since his pants have no limits, Cena busts out a big pair of scissors and cuts off JBL’s tie, which he puts into his chain. That’s not going to work either as he feels too much like a banker.

JBL’s jacket comes off and Cena sticks out his jaw but JBL turns him down. Back to the podiums with Cena cutting off Long’s question by asking what he has to do to get JBL to hit him. This time Cena steals JBL’s ten gallon hat (JBL: “I hate you.”) and wants to know if it holds ten gallons. Cena takes the pitchers of water from the table and pours it in the hat, which holds less than a gallon. With JBL’s lying confirmed, Cena puts the hat full of water back on his head.

The fight is nearly on with Cena saying JBL looks ridiculous. Cena busts out more spray paint and puts a yellow streak up the back of JBL’s shirt. A red FU (the third color of paint Cena has had) on the front of the shirt is Cena’s preview for Wrestlemania to end the show. This was WAY too long at nearly twenty minutes and Cena isn’t ready to do that kind of talking just yet. It wasn’t terrible at all and helped reinforce the story but they’ve established everything already and this didn’t add anything new.

Overall Rating: D+. This is absolutely not a wrestling show and that’s ok in a case like this. Other than Rey vs. Eddie finally being established, this was a lot of building up matches that were already set, making this a pretty skippable show (classic Angle segment aside). We’re wading through that weird period where the card is ready and there is nothing left to do but get to Wrestlemania, but we’re not all the way there just yet. This is a great example of a show where you could get by on the highlights and while it flew by, there isn’t much to see.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: March 17, 2005
Location: Savannah Civic Center, Savannah, Georgia
Commentators: Tazz, Michael Cole

We’re rapidly closing in on Wrestlemania and this week will focus on the build towards the two big interpromotional matches. Tonight we have Kurt Angle vs. Marty Jannetty as Kurt tries to prepare for Shawn Michaels, plus the contract signing for Randy Orton vs. Undertaker. For once, I’m looking forward to all of the big stuff. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Kurt Angle to get things going. He liked what Shawn Michaels did on Raw and it seemed like a way to get Marty ready for tonight, but there is no way to prepare for an Olympic gold medalist. Shawn can find that out at Wrestlemania but Marty is finding out right now.

Kurt Angle vs. Marty Jannetty

They’re starting fast and the fans are behind Marty early on. Angle takes over with a hammerlock but misses an elbow drop. Marty gets kicked away but nips up and it’s an early standoff. A headlock takeover keeps Marty in trouble though as he can’t do much to escape. Back up and Marty works on the arm again as Cole talks about Marty’s accomplishments. Why being the Intercontinental Champion isn’t mentioned isn’t clear.

Angle takes him down again without much effort but Marty reverses right back into an armbar. A toss to the floor is countered with a skinning of the cat into a headscissors to send Angle outside. Cole calls this “the fight of Angle’s life” as we take a break. Cole isn’t a history buff. Back with Angle holding a waistlock, which he switches into a waistlock to mix things up a bit.

Since these holds aren’t exactly interesting, Angle snaps off a German suplex for two and it’s right back to a waistlock to stay on the ribs. Jannetty finally fights up and hits a DDT for a much needed breather (and a much needed anything else than another hold on the ribs). A spinwheel kick drops Angle and a hurricanrana out of the corner puts him down again.

Marty hits a high crossbody but Angle rolls through and hits a German suplex. The Angle Slam and ankle lock are both broken up and a rollup gives Marty a close two. Now the ankle lock goes on full but Marty rolls him into the buckle for the break. Angle isn’t having that and puts it right back on, this time with the grapevine for the tap.

Rating: C. I know this match has some fond memories and the last five minutes are good, but almost everything before that is Angle holding him on the mat. I don’t know if that was just to extend the match but it was little more than the same style hold over and over. Marty looked better near the end, though it’s not like this was some all time performance. The ending helped bring it back up, but it wasn’t enough to make this any kind of a special match.

Theodore Long is in his office to respond to John Cena giving him the FU last week. It is his responsibility to give us the best in action and entertainment but no one can put their hands on him. JBL comes in to interrupt him mid speech and says he’s rather happy that Long is going to take away Cena’s title shot. Not so fast though as Long isn’t suspending Cena, but if he touches JBL before Wrestlemania, he loses the title shot. That is, unless it’s in a sanctioned match, like tonight when Cena is teaming with Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio to face JBL and the Bashams. We get a classic annoyed JBL face before he storms off, leaving Long to dance.

Chavo Guerrero comes up Eddie, asking if he’s seen Rey. Chavo wants to know what happened to Eddie, who is a disappointment to the family. See, Rey is holding Eddie back because Rey beat him over and over before Eddie agreed to team with him. Chavo: “If you can’t beat him, join him right?” Eddie tells him to get out of here but Chavo says either stop acting like this or stop calling yourself a Guerrero. Chavo leaves and Eddie throws a chair.

Since it’s St. Patrick’s Day, Torrie Wilson and Joy Giovanni are in green as they take pictures with the fans. Joy looks like she’s about to scream.

Booker T. vs. Luther Reigns

During the entrance, Booker kisses his new wife Sharmell, who is sitting in the front row. Heidenreich comes out to do commentary because we’re STILL not done with Heidenreich vs. Booker. Reigns misses an early clothesline but grabs a hot shot to set up the second clothesline for two.

Heidenreich is silent on commentary (I can live with this) as Reigns grabs a neck crank, followed by another clothesline for some more twos. The chinlock goes on as we’re two minutes in and somehow have run through most of Reigns’ offense. Booker suplexes his way to freedom and grabs a spinebuster to put Reigns down again. The superkick into the Spinarooni sets up the ax kick to finish Reigns.

Rating: D. How you can run out of offense that soon isn’t clear but leave it to Reigns to figure out a way to make it work. Reigns just isn’t working and there isn’t much of a way to make him look like any more than a clueless putz. Booker has nothing going on before Wrestlemania but leaving him off of the show is better than a showdown with Heidenreich.

Post match Heidenreich reads a poem about Booker showing him the light with the chair shot. Now he has a new way to live his life. Can that way of life involve a career change?

Wrestlemania trailer, this time featuring When Harry Met Sally. Linda McMahon doing the “I’ll have what she’s having” line might be the funniest thing she’s ever done in WWE. Take that for what it’s worth.

Long is in the ring for the Undertaker/Randy Orton contract signing. We get a quick intro but here’s Eric Bischoff to interrupt. Bischoff promises Raw dominance at Wrestlemania so here’s Orton, who will bring Raw a huge victory. We see one single fan cheering for Orton, which just makes things feel sad. Long handles Undertaker’s entrance, which takes as long as you would expect it to.

Undertaker signs without saying anything and hands the contract to Orton. You can’t get through a contract signing so simply though as Orton says Undertaker will be 12-1 soon. Orton is unlike the rest of his opponents because he isn’t afraid. Everyone says facing Undertaker is like facing no one on earth, but facing Orton is what’s unlike anything else. Orton signs and slaps Undertaker in the face, which just isn’t that bright. Undertaker starts shaking and the lights flicker, followed by the fire exploding behind Orton. That’s never a good sign.

Jackie Gayda and Lauren Jones take more pictures in the crowd.

Paul London vs. Billy Kidman

It feels like we haven’t seen a cruiserweight match in a long time. Kidman takes him into the corner to star as the announcers immediately switch over to talking about Undertaker vs. Orton. Fair enough in this case though at least try to make it sound a little less obvious. London grabs a sunset flip for two and hits a dropsault for the same. A dropkick breaks up London’s springboard though and it’s time to work on the back. We hit the chinlock with a knee in London’s back, which starts the comeback as London hits another dropsault. The 450 finishes Kidman in a hurry.

Rating: C-. London is the current #1 contender after winning a match on Velocity so this wasn’t exactly shocking. The cruiserweight division barely exists anymore but it’s a nice way to fill in some time, when WWE remembers that they exist. Pushing London is as good as pushing anyone else, assuming it actually goes anywhere.

Carlito is working the concession stand this week and that means reading the paper. He eventually sells a kid a hot dog but sprays ketchup on him for requesting change. An adult complains and gets some spit.

Classic Steve Austin moment: crushing Rock’s Lincoln.

Here’s Big Show for a chat. He’s never been in a sumo match before but he’s the one person Akebono can’t push around. That is all.

Orlando Jordan tells JBL to not be worried about tonight’s six man.

Raw Rebound.

Dawn Marie is in the crowd this time but gets in a fight with Michelle McCool. It’s quickly broken up as we continue a string of what feels like filler material.

Wrestlemania rundown.

JBL comes up to Cena and tries to provoke him into violence. He knows that Cena wants to be rich like him because Cena came from a poor family where his mama had to sleep with the landlord to pay the rent. Cena says JBL is as stupid as he looks and he can wait five minutes for the bell to ring. Thanks for the motivation though.

Video on Christy Hemme’s Playboy.

John Bradshaw Layfield/Basham Brothers vs. Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio/John Cena

Historical note: My Time Is Now makes its debut. Cena makes sure to wait for the bell before slugging away at JBL to start but he has to settle for a hiptoss on Danny when the champ bails. A little dancing sets up an early Shuffle for two and it’s a heavily cheered Eddie coming in with a slingshot hilo. The springboard headscissors/armdrag takes both Bashams down at the same time and we take a break.

Back with Eddie bringing Rey in, much to Cena’s….I think annoyance? Shock maybe? Rey’s springboard crossbody gets two on Doug but the Bashams get him into the corner. That means JBL can come in so Rey gets straight over to Cena, sending JBL bailing to the floor. Cena gets to suplex Danny instead as the powder keg continues to simmer. The fans still want Eddie as Rey comes back in for the 619 to Danny. Doug throws him into the barricade though and it’s JBL coming in for a swinging neckbreaker.

The fall away slam, with a glare to Mysterio, gets no cover so it’s back to the Bashams to take turns on Rey. A double flapjack sets up a front facelock, which is escaped in a hurry for the tag off to Cena. That means house can be cleaned but JBL reverses a whip to send him into the steps. Rey dives onto JBL, leaving Eddie to hit Three Amigos to Doug Basham. Eddie goes up for the frog splash but Rey Drops The Dime for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was the storytelling match more than anything else and the stories they’re advancing worked well. Pushing the idea of Cena being ready to explode on JBL is as good of an idea as they have as Cena winning the title isn’t much of a secret anymore (if it ever was). Rey getting the pin after Eddie did most of the work wasn’t talked about but it’s a perfect way to move things forward.

Post match Cena grabs a chair but realizes the bell has rung and can’t do it. He hits Danny over and over instead as JBL cowers. Cena says you can’t see me to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. What a weird show at times with a bunch of stuff that came and went, plus stories that feel like they belong in the middle of June when there is nothing going on rather than two and a half weeks before Wrestlemania. Did we really need the Divas deal or the cruiserweight match or Booker and Heidenreich (AGAIN)? What matters here is they moved the bigger stories, with JBL vs. Cena all but set and Eddie’s issues with Rey starting to take shape. This would have been a great hour long show but for what we got, it only worked well enough.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: March 10, 2005
Location: Civic Center, Roanoke, Virginia
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re less than a month away from Wrestlemania and that means this show is going to be more about John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield, which is almost all that matters from Smackdown. Odds are we’ll get some more on the interpromotional matches but John vs. John is the only exclusive Smackdown match that has gotten any focus so far. Maybe that changes tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look back at last week with JBL and the Cabinet costing Cena the US Title to Orlando Jordan in a smart and logical next step.

Here’s the Cabinet to open things up, complete with security, which hopefully coordinated with the Bashams. JBL talks about how they’ve done something cool every week and this week it’s time to honor someone who values respect. That would be Jordan, who won the US Title last week all by himself. The CENA chants begin and JBL tells them to stop cheering for the loser.

We hear a bit about Jordan’s past, growing up with several brothers and sisters in the inner cities. Jordan did the right thing: he turned his back on his family and here he is as the US Champion and the people in the seats watching him. JBL is a wrestling god and can show these people how great everything can be. Common people can never stand here with championships and….what is Jordan holding? JBL looks disturbed by the spinner title (well yeah) because common people like Cena put things like that on their cars instead of investing in education. That’s why we need to do what we’ll be seeing next.

A trashcan is brought in and, after a rant about what Cena has ruined about the title, JBL puts it in the can and lights the belt on fire (with the can exploding in something Kane would fine excessive). JBL presents the traditional US Title to Jordan and we get some solid heel posing. They kept this short and the segment and promo both worked. Thank goodness it wasn’t on Raw as HHH would have made it ten minutes longer.

Booker T. vs. Heidenreich

No DQ because WWE wants us to suffer. Heidenreich slugs Booker into the corner to start in the only thing he does remotely well. A knee to the ribs cuts Booker off and Heidenreich slowly stomps away in the corner. In a smart move, Booker kicks him low because he can get away with it here, sending the announcers into near hysterics over the pain.

Heidenreich seems fine as he sends Booker face first into the announcers’ table and then the post for a bonus. Back in and Heidenreich punches even more, followed by a hard clothesline for two. Heidenreich brings the chair in but takes too long crawling around, allowing Booker to ax kick him onto said chair. A scary chair shot to the head knocks Heidenreich cold for the pin.

Rating: D. The match was a conclusion to a story that didn’t warrant a second part, let alone a third, but it was an emphatic way to end things. However, it also (again) showed just how useless Heidenreich was in the ring. Most of his offense was punching and he looked incapable of doing anything beyond entry level stuff. Booker, as well as everyone else involved, deserves better than that.

We look back at Randy Orton challenging Undertaker for Wrestlemania.

Theodore Long isn’t sure what is going to happen when Cena gets here tonight. Carlito comes in and Long has a job for him: find out Undertaker’s response to Orton’s challenge. Do it or be fired.

Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero admire their Tag Team Titles when Chavo Guerrero comes in to wish them luck tonight. See, tonight JBL and Jordan have a Tag Team Title shot and Chavo wouldn’t want to be the only Guerrero with a title. Eddie: “No one’s grandma would be happy with that!” Chavo leaves and Eddie says it’s not his fault that Chavo is his nephew.

Carlito goes looking for Undertaker, because the only place he could be is in the bottom of the building. The lights go out and Carlito lets out a high pitched scream. A maintenance worker apologizes for turning them out because he didn’t know anyone was in there. That was kind of funny.

Mark Jindrak vs. Luther Reigns

Jindrak jumps him during the entrance but gets beaten down because Jindrak isn’t very good. They get inside with Reigns powering him down in the corner and pulling on the arm. Back up and Jindrak makes his comeback with every basic bit of offense you can imagine. A high crossbody gets two so Jindrak knocks him out with a left hand for the pin. Can these two be done already?

A ticked off Cena arrives, pipe in hand, and doesn’t want to be asked questions. Or maybe he just doesn’t like Josh Matthews.

Back from a break with Cena in the arena (makes sense because there would be no reason for him to wait in the back until after the commercial and wanting the noise killed. He and JBL both like to break things, but he likes to break faces instead of titles. So the Cabinet can get out here right now so we can handle this. No one comes out so Cena demands that they get out here so we can deal with this right now. Instead it’s Long coming out, saying he knows that Cena is a little razzle dazzled. Cena: “Razzle dazzled?”

Tonight Jordan and JBL have a Tag Team Title shot but Long has another idea: Cena can have his rematch for the US Title tonight. Cena would rather take all of them apart, but Long says we can’t have the Wrestlemania main event destroyed. That’s not cool with Cena, who thinks Long is sounding like JBL. Since that makes him part of the problem, Cena lays Long out with an FU. That didn’t quite fit with the rest of what Cena was saying, which was one of his first really serious main event promos, where Cena can excel.

Post break, Cena has been removed from the building.

It’s time for the Kurt Angle Invitational but this time around, the medal is above the ring. During Angle’s entrance, we see a clip from last week with a spot shadow on Shawn Michaels unmasking as a cameraman. Just in case you thought it was one of the people standing still and now revealing themselves to be a famous wrestler.

Angle talks about working hard to become an Olympic champion in 1994 but he kept hearing about this. We see a clip of the Wrestlemania ladder match, with Angle talking about how revered the match is. Angle knows he could put Shawn’s performance to shame, so tonight it’s a ladder match for the medal. Get an opponent out here.

Kurt Angle vs. Mike Haywood

Angle forearms him in the face to start and chokes with a knee in the back. The Angle Slam and an ankle lock let Kurt win probably the shortest ladder match in history.

Post match Angle sits on the ladder and says that wasn’t hard. He didn’t even use the ladder as a weapon. Now let’s jump to 1989, when Shawn made his Wrestlemania debut. We see a clip of the Rockers’ entrance before Angle says he’s arranged a match with Marty Jannetty next week. Shawn better be watching so he can learn what it’s like to tap out to Kurt.

Wrestlemania Recall: Bobby Heenan and Gene Okerlund are found with Mae Young and Fabulous Moolah. Bobby begging not to let them drag him back in is hilarious.

Big Show accepts Akebono’s challenge to a sumo match at Wrestlemania. Something I had forgotten: Big Show getting together with Joy is a bit more interesting when you remember she was mentioned as a wife and mother during the Diva Search.

Wrestlemania rundown. There is still just one Smackdown vs. Smackdown match.

Carlito is looking for Undertaker but Torrie Wilson scares him out of his wits. Since he can’t find Undertaker, he’ll have to call him out in the ring. That was a rather worthless waste of time.

Video on Christy Hemme’s Playboy shoot.

Here’s Carlito to call out Undertaker. He’s tired of this wild goose chase and now he needs an answer before he gets fired from Smackdown. Going to Raw is that out of the question for him? Anyway, it would be cool if Undertaker could give him an answer so there’s the gong. Undertaker does the full entrance, leaving Carlito to sheepishly ask about Orton’s challenge. Undertaker says that many have come at Wrestlemania, and like the rest of them, Orton will fall. The Tombstone leaves Carlito laying.

JBL tells the security to guard the hallway in case Cena comes back.

Hall of Fame video.

Next week: Orton and Undertaker sign the contract.

Tag Team Titles: Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio vs. John Bradshaw Layfield/Orlando Jordan

Mysterio and Guerrero are defending and the Bashams are out here too. Eddie and JBL start things off with Eddie suckering him in with a slap to the face. Thankfully commentary doesn’t waste time getting to a discussion of JBL taking the title from him here in Virginia last year. Some armdrags send JBL outside so Jordan comes in and holds his arms up. Eddie isn’t impressed and pokes him in the eye as casually as you can.

Rey comes in for a sliding dropkick to the knee and some kicks to the head. Again commentary does well as they explain that Jordan hurt his leg at a show over the weekend (that would explain the half trunks/half shorts). A shoulder lets JBL come in and he has to lean rather far down to say something to Rey. The powerbomb attempt is countered with some right hands and it’s Eddie coming in with the slingshot hilo for two.

Eddie draws Jordan in so Rey can snap JBL’s throat across the rope and it’s more choking with the tag rope for a bonus. It’s back to Jordan, who actually has more success with punches and stomps in the corner. Rey’s comeback is cut off by a Bashams distraction and a big boot from JBL.

The Bashams are ejected for their efforts and we take a break. Back with JBL sending Rey outside with the fall away slam so Jordan can send him back first into the apron. The logical bearhug follows from JBL and Jordan gets in one of his own. Rey gets in a tornado DDT and brings Eddie back in as everything breaks down. The 619 is loaded up but JBL hits Rey in the knees with a chair for the DQ.

Rating: C+. They were making sense for the most part though it was nothing more than a main event tag where we were waiting around for whatever Cena is going to do end the show. It was also clear that JBL and Jordan weren’t getting the other titles so close to Wrestlemania so while the wrestling was good, it was more about waiting around until the ending.

Post match the beatdown is on and here’s Cena to clean house, including the FU to Jordan as JBL bails into the crowd. A lot of glaring ends the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The JBL vs. Cena stuff has been very well put together as JBL is feeling the promos, but it’s incredible how little else Smackdown is offering Wrestlemania. Yeah there are the two big interpromotional matches and they’ve gotten some time on these shows, but hearing about Big Show in a sumo challenge isn’t quite the same as the introduction of Money in the Bank. Wrestlemania really is a two match show at its core, but Orton vs. Undertaker and Michaels vs. Angle are doing a lot of good to prop up the rest of the show. Throw in Money in the Bank and we’re looking at a pretty stacked card.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2004
Date: August 15, 2004
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 17,640
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the second biggest show of the year and that could go multiple ways. Smackdown has been getting better as of late but it’s still not very good. Raw has had its moments, but with the second biggest match from the red show being HHH vs. Eugene, they’re working underneath a pretty low ceiling. Let’s get to it.

The theme is the Summer Games, giving us an Olympic themed opening. I’ve always liked these as they’re actually rather entertaining.

The opening video looks at the big matches, but Diva Dodgeball is in the middle, even before the Intercontinental Title and Smackdown World Title matches. I’m thinking no on that one.

Dudley Boys vs. Paul London/Billy Kidman/Rey Mysterio

Spike recently joined his brothers and since there are no other teams on Smackdown, Kidman and London are still feuding with the Dudleys. Rey just walks out to his music, which takes a lot of the impact away. D-Von hammers on Kidman to start but gets armdragged down for his efforts. London comes in for an assisted moonsault and the dropkick gets two.

A rather hard clothesline takes London down and it’s off to Spike for some screaming stomps in the corner. Bubba comes in for the trash talking elbow drop and the villains start taking turns working on London. Straight right hands break up the comeback attempt but Bubba hits D-Von by mistake. Spike gets kicked away and that’s enough for the tag off to Mysterio.

The springboard legdrop gets two on Spike and a hurricanrana out of the corner makes things even worse. A reverse DDT plants D-Von and it’s back to Kidman for a top rope back elbow to Spike. Everything breaks down and a BK Bomb gets two on Spike. Bubba gets double dropkicked to the floor and Spike takes a Hart Attack of all things. The 619 sends Spike into the shooting star from Billy for two with D-Von making the save. Back in and Kidman walks into the 3D to give Spike the pin.

Rating: C. Well that was a dumb ending. You have Spike as Cruiserweight Champion and have him pin a Tag Team Champion to open one of the biggest shows of the year? You couldn’t have Rey pin D-Von here to let the fans feel good? This didn’t help anything other than building Spike up, which was done as well as it was going to be with the Cruiserweight Title win. Bad decision here, in a match that didn’t need to have this kind of a finish.

We recap Kane vs. Matt Hardy. Lita slept with Kane to get him to leave Matt alone, actually being stupid enough to believe it would work. As a result Lita is pregnant but still loves Matt. Therefore, she’s marrying the winner of this match. Somehow, not even the most bizarre stipulation in Summerslam history.

Kane vs. Matt Hardy

Matt goes straight at him to start and hits what I guess was a middle rope Side Effect for two. The middle rope legdrop to the back of the head gets the same and a weird looking tornado DDT (with Matt landing on his stomach) gets the third two. Kane finally hits a clothesline to take over but a Lita distraction lets Matt low bridge him to the floor.

The slingshot dive sets up a Twist of Fate for nine and probably the best chance Matt had. Lita throws in the bell and distracts the very stupid referee so Matt can clock Kane for two. Kane kicks him in the face and goes up but gets caught by Matt. That’s fine with Kane, who hits a super chokeslam for the pin and Lita’s hand.

Rating: D. Short and bad here, with Matt having less than no chance throughout. Matt has been destroyed and turned into an idiot this whole feud and Kane winning in the end was the only way it could go. Now just get to the wedding, which is destined to be the most entertaining part of this whole thing. The match was nothing that couldn’t have been done on Raw but with a nice looking ending. That’s also Matt’s last WWE match for about a year as he had a bad knee injury and was then released in April.

Randy Orton doesn’t want to hear about anyone being upset because tonight is a night for celebration. John Cena cuts him off and promises him some merch. He’s an Orton fan, but a quick fan poll seems to suggest that they don’t agree with him. And so it begins.

Booker T. vs. John Cena

Match #1 in a best of five series for Booker’s US Title. They slug it out to start with Cena hitting a clothesline for one. Cena gets in the Throwback for two so Booker crotches him on top to cut that off in a hurry. Booker throws in a You Can’t See Me and drops a knee for no cover. A jumping kick to the face cuts off Cena’s early comeback and it’s a camel clutch to keep things slow.

That’s broken up so Booker goes with a spinebuster and side slam to drop Cena again. The ax kick misses though and Cena hits his running clothesline out of the corner. That just earns him a flapjack into a Spinarooni but Cena hits a quick FU for the pin, ignoring Booker’s shoulder being way off the mat.

Rating: D+. That’s the third straight fast match here and that’s not a good thing on a show like this. They didn’t even have seven minutes here, which is the kind of match that could have been on Smackdown instead of wasting it on this show. Cena is likely losing the next two matches to put him in a hole which is fine, but I could have gone for a better start to this thing.

Eric Bischoff (“the head cracker in charge of Raw”) comes in to see Theodore Long and points out the revolving door to the Smackdown GM office. Bischoff advises him to enjoy it while it lasts but Teddy tells him to get to steppin.

Intercontinental Title: Batista vs. Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Hometown boy Edge is defending and Batista is on fire at the moment. Speaking of Batista, he knocks Edge off the apron during his entrance and we hit the Y2J chants early on. A hard elbow knocks Jericho down and a shoulder does it again. Edge comes back in with a chop block to break up the Batista Bomb though and it’s time for some Canadian violence on Batista. Snake Eyes gets Batista out of trouble but Jericho grabs his boot to slow him down a bit.

A clothesline puts Batista outside and leaves Edge alone in the ring….where he’s booed out of the building. Well that’s rather surprising. Batista gets sent face first into the steps and we’re down to Jericho vs. Edge in the ring. Edge gets the better of the fight but gets loudly booed when loading up the Edgecution. The Walls attempt gets a much better reaction, though Edge reversing into a small package isn’t as well received. Back up and Jericho pokes him in the eye, setting up the full Walls of Jericho.

The hold is pulled back into the middle until Batista finally makes a save with the clothesline. Edge takes Batista down with an Edgecution for two as Jericho is banged up on the floor. The spear is loaded up but for some reason Jericho cuts Edge down on the way to Batista. A spinebuster gives Batista two on Jericho but this time it’s Edge sending the big man outside. That gives us another battle of the Canadians and another loud Y2J chant. Batista gets dropkicked off the apron but the distraction lets Edge spear Jericho down to retain.

Rating: D+. The odd crowd reactions threw things off here, though they’re not quite as out there as you might think when you remember Edge teasing a heel turn as of late. Now that being said, you would think the hometown deal would be enough to overcome the recent cheating but that wasn’t the case here. On top of that, the match didn’t have a ton of heat and was a string of one on one matches instead of all three at once. Edge retaining is fine, though Batista is getting bigger and bigger every week.

We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle in a Wrestlemania rematch. Eddie cheated (kind of) to win at Wrestlemania in Angle’s last match for about five months. Angle is back now, though while he was on the shelf he cost Eddie the WWE Championship so Eddie is out for revenge and to prove that he can hang with Angle on an even playing field. This has been the best set up feud for the whole show and the match should be able to live up to the hype.

Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero

Angle has Luther Reigns with him. Feeling out process to start as the odd fans are cheering for Angle here. Shockingly enough Angle is more than fine against Eddie on the mat so Eddie tries for the ankle. He’ll settle for a headlock instead so Angle reverses into a quick keylock. Eddie armdrags him straight into an armbar but it’s time to start the rolling German suplexes. That doesn’t work either as Eddie reverses the second into the ankle lock as the wrestling lesson continues. Angle reverses into the real thing but Eddie puts his own on at the same time. It doesn’t last long, though cool idea there.

A rope finally saves Eddie so Reigns gets in a cheap shot like a good lackey should do. That means another ankle lock before Angle finally switches gears a bit for something close to an STF. With Eddie down, Angle starts untying Eddie’s boot but the delay lets Eddie get in a kick to the face. It’s right back to Eddie’s ankle until Eddie gets in an Angle Slam of his own. Eddie makes his comeback with right hands but the ankle isn’t exactly sturdy.

It’s fine enough for the Three Amigos so Eddie goes up for the frog splash, only to get caught with the running belly to belly superplex. Angle’s Angle Slam is countered into a DDT and another frog splash attempt misses. The Angle Slam gets two so Angle rips the boot off to set up the ankle lock again.

The roll through sends Angle into the referee so Eddie hits Angle and Reigns with the boot. Of course Eddie throws the boot away and falls down instead of hitting a frog splash, which would have made more sense. Eddie hits the frog splash for two a few seconds later and yells at the referee on the kickout. That’s enough for Angle to pick the ankle and put on the grapevine to make Eddie tap.

Rating: C+. What exactly are they saving all the time for on this show? That’s the first match to break thirteen minutes and nothing else has even hit nine. There are three matches left on the card and nearly an hour and a half left in the show, but nothing has even hit fifteen minutes yet. Did Diva Dodgeball need the extra time?

Anyway, this wasn’t all that great as the first few minutes were looking like the start of a thirty minute classic but then they just jumped the stolen finishers (which is becoming a rather tired trope) and had Angle break the ankle down for the win. This was dying for another eight minutes of build towards the finish but for some reason this show has to go as fast as it can because of reasons.

We recap HHH vs. Eugene. HHH found out that Eugene was his favorite wrestler and agreed to use him to help get the World Title if HHH could eventually make Eugene want to quit. In other words, it was a story that was way more complicated than it needed to be and Eugene, who started off as a very fun, unique character has turned into the clueless putz that cost HHH the title. Therefore, HHH must destroy him to prove that he’s better than a mentally disabled person who doesn’t know how to wrestle but imitates wrestling he watched on TV as a kid. In the second biggest Raw match on Summerslam. Of course.

HHH vs. Eugene

No one is at ringside for a bit of a surprise. HHH wins an early slugout but Eugene elbows him in the face so it’s time head outside. That means a chance for HHH to hide behind Lilian Garcia, allowing him to take over again. It’s time to load up the announcers’ table but Eugene blocks a suplex to the floor. Some right hands in the corner set up a Flair Flop and HHH has a bad knee. Believe it or not, it’s a way for HHH to sucker Eugene in again and outsmart him for a cheap shot.

A backbreaker keeps Eugene in trouble as JR freaks out of the fake injury. He certainly must have loathed Bret Hart then. The fans think Eugene sucks so his comeback isn’t exactly well received. HHH offers a handshake but this time Eugene is ready for him and pulls it into a Rock Bottom. The People’s Elbow is countered with the spinebuster to a face pop as the trip into the bizarre continues. HHH chokes away and it’s back to the floor for a whip into the steps.

Back in and HHH slowly beats on him, setting up the sleeper because this match needed a sleeper. Eugene escapes and hits a backdrop, followed by a middle finger and the Stunner. That’s enough to send HHH outside for a breather though and here’s Ric Flair because HHH is actually in trouble. The big boot into the legdrop connects but Flair gets knocked off the apron. Eugene goes up top and dives into the Pedigree but spins out, setting up a Pedigree on HHH instead. Flair puts his foot on the rope so it’s just a two, earning an ejection. Cue William Regal to knock Flair cold with the brass knuckles as the Pedigree finishes Eugene.

Rating: D. Well thank goodness for that. After a few months of getting frustrated, the great and mighty HHH came back and beat the comedy act in a match at one of the biggest show of the year. All it cost Eugene was all of the good will he built up too, but at least HHH got the big win. This whole story was really stupid and a huge waste of time, which really doesn’t work when it boils down to HHH needing almost fifteen minutes to beat a comedy guy. It was just bad all around and didn’t help anyone other than HHH, who didn’t get that much out of it anyway.

And then, Diva Dodgeball with the Diva Search girls basically in swimsuits while the Raw women are in matching gear. Before the game starts, Coach tells us about some trash talk that happened after Raw went off the air. They proceed to play dodgeball, which is in no way shape or form an excuse to have good looking women in barely existing clothing running around. The Diva Search girls dominate and win. Trish yells about the refereeing and then blames Victoria, triggering a fight. This took up nearly six minutes, which is about seven minutes too long.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Undertaker

No recap for this one because the build hasn’t exactly been thrilling. JBL won the title earlier in the summer and needed an opponent so Undertaker showed up. For some reason JBL decided he wasn’t afraid of Undertaker and brought out a mini version, who Undertaker wound up beating up instead. Then JBL brought in Orlando Jordan as his Chief of Staff because he needed a designated lackey.

Undertaker knocks him to the floor early on and the beating begins, including JBL’s arm going into the steps. Back in and JBL hits a quick swinging neckbreaker before going up top for a good looking top rope shoulder. An armbar doesn’t get JBL anywhere so Undertaker pulls on the arm as well and hits Old School. Undertaker grabs an ugly triangle choke until Jordan pulls the foot under the rope.

With that not working, Undertaker hits a big boot to JBL but misses a running version in the corner to let JBL take out the knee. The leg is wrapped around the post and a Jordan distraction lets JBL smash the leg with a chair. Undertaker gets sent into the barricade so Jordan can get in a few shots before sending him inside. The fans start the Wave as the leg work continues.

The leglock goes on as JBL is smart enough to just throw on a hold and let the fans die down. It’s not exactly thrilling for the fans at home but it’s a smart idea here. Undertaker fights out and pulls JBL down into a quickly broken kneebar. They head outside again with Undertaker hitting the apron legdrop. The announcers start chanting for the Spanish table but JBL snaps the throat across the top for a breather. Again JBL takes too long going up though and it’s a superplex for two.

JBL goes right back to the knee with a spinning toehold of all things but Undertaker hits a sloppy release spinebuster for two more. The jumping clothesline puts JBL down again and Snake Eyes into…a running clothesline instead of the big boot gives Undertaker another two. The chokeslam gets a delayed near fall, which seems to shock the announcers. Who hasn’t kicked out of a chokeslam? Jordan gets up for a quick distraction and it’s the Clothesline From JBL to give the champ two of his own. The referee gets bumped though and it’s a double big boot for a double knockdown.

Jordan throws the belt in for a shot to the head and the very delayed near fall with Jordan grabbing the hand to slap the mat. Undertaker finally beats up Jordan but eats another Clothesline From JBL. With the referee still down, JBL rains down right hands in the corner which is only done to set up the Last Ride. Jordan is back in with the belt so Undertaker takes it away and hits JBL for the DQ.

Rating: D. The thing is, it’s not even the worst match in the world. It felt like it was straight out of the HHH/Ric Flair Greatest Hits playbook with Jordan being the worst Flair impersonator of all time. The leg work was fine and JBL still wasn’t horrible yet, but the ending was pretty lame with Jordan being pathetic and JBL’s finisher not being able to do much damage. It’s not so much horrible or even bad as much as it is uninteresting and uninspired, which made for a very long seventeen minutes.

Post match the beatdown continues with the bloody JBL being chokeslammed through the roof of the limo. JBL does a stretcher job, guaranteeing a rematch. Of note: at some point during the match, a fan tried to climb onto the limo and security kept him from not only, you know, climbing onto the limo but also breaking the roof and injuring himself/ruining the spot.

Cole shows us a replay and tells us to listen. There’s no sound.

Raw World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Randy Orton

Orton is challenging after winning a battle royal and pinning Benoit in a tag match. Here’s your exchange that would never happen today: Lawler: “Hey JR you got a camera on you?” JR, dripping with sarcasm: “Yeah right here in my pocket.” The fans are all over Earl Hebner with the YOU SCREWED BRET chants as they stare each other down at the bell. Benoit drives him into the corner and takes Orton down for a rather early chinlock. A test of strength goes to Orton but he misses a knee drop.

Benoit is right back with the armbar and armdrags him down into another armbar. That’s reversed as well with Orton grabbing a Sharpshooter of his own. Benoit slips out of that and tries a Crossface, sending Orton to the floor where he posts Benoit to really take over. A second posting keeps the champ down and Orton drapes him over the top rope for good measure.

Something like a DDT on the apron gets Benoit out of trouble but he misses a dive through the ropes, sending himself HARD into the barricade. Back in and Orton hits the over the shoulder neckbreaker for two, followed by the chinlock. Benoit fights up for stereo crossbodies but gets up first for a northern lights suplex. A release German suplex has Orton in more trouble and the Sharpshooter goes on.

That’s good for two arm drops until Orton makes the rope so they’re both exhausted. Some rolling German suplexes put Orton down again but he gets his feet up to block the Swan Dive (FREAKING OW MAN!). The cover is countered into a Crossface but Orton rolls out. Back up and Benoit tries it again but Orton spins him around into the RKO for the pin and the title.

Rating: B. It’s not a masterpiece but it was a good, long, well put together match with a completely clean ending that made Orton look like the better man. The new heel on top is long overdue and it’s nice to see Orton, who has gotten a lot better in a hurry, win the title here. Benoit’s title reign was very respectable and he beat HHH a few times, which is about as good as you’re going to get. It’s a rather good main event, though not exactly a classic.

Post match Benoit gets back in and shakes his hand, demanding that Orton be a man. Orton shakes his hand and Benoit leaves in peace, allowing Orton to pose to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show is two different halves and it’s as noticeable as you’re ever going to see. The first four matches are all short and need more time while the remaining four, as in the big matches, either fail to live up to the hype or just aren’t very good in the first place. This show needed to be reshuffled a bit with some extra time being given to a few other matches. Stuff like Diva Dodgeball and the opener could have been cut to give the time to other matches. It would have done the show a lot of good, but there was only so much this show could do.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2004
Date: August 15, 2004
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 17,640
Announcers: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz

A year has passed but not a lot has really changed. Evolution still runs Raw but Benoit has jumped shows and is the World Champion. Over on Smackdown we have Angle in another rematch from Wrestlemania against Eddie Guerrero, although not for the title this time. John Bradshaw Layfield, now a businessman instead of a bar fighter, beat Guerrero for the title over the summer and gets to defend against Undertaker tonight. HHH on the other hand is fighting a slow guy named Eugene at the second biggest show of the year. Let’s get to it.

The theme this year is the WWE Olympic Games. It’s definitely more on the cute side than serious, but that could be said about a lot of Summerslams.

The theme song is Summertime Blues by Rush so we get some good music. The video focuses on almost all of the big matches but doesn’t give a ton of backstory.

Dudleys vs. Paul London/Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman

This was when the Dudley Boyz were under Spike’s (Cruiserweight Champion) leadership and going to war with the Cruiserweight division for lack of regular sized tag teams to feud against. Spike recently beat Rey for the title so this is technically two feuds combined into one since London and Kidman are Smackdown tag champions. Kidman fires off forearms to D-Von to start before taking him down via an armdrag. Off to London with some more forearms and a nice dropkick for two.

Bubba cheats like a true Bully was and the bad guys take over. Spike comes in off the top with a double stomp to the ribs as the fans want tables. Bubba comes in and suplexes London down while calling him a piece of crap and threatening to beat his face in. You can’t go wrong with a loudmouthed New Yorker who can fight. Off to D-Von for a chinlock as Cole is already at two vintages less than four minutes into the match. London ducks a Bubba clothesline to knock D-Von to the floor.

An enziguri puts Bubba down and there’s the hot tag to Mysterio. Rey gets two beat on Spike in an attempt to get revenge for being put through a table. Dropping the Dime gets two on Spike and a top rope rana gets the same. Rey hits a springboard seated senton to Rey and a big facejam to D-Von. Kidman tags himself in and hits a jumping back elbow off the top (love that move) to Spike.

The BK Bomb (Sky High) gets two on Spike and everything breaks down. London dives off the top to the floor to take out Bubba as Rey and Kidman hit a Hart Attack on Spike. 619 to Spike sets up the Shooting Star for two but D-Von makes the save. Rey dives at D-Von but only hits barricade before Ray kills London with a clothesline. Kidman tries to fight off both big Dudleys on his own but walks into 3D with Spike getting the pin.

Rating: C. Good choice for an opener here but it might have been better to split this up and give us two title matches instead. Still though, starting things off with a fast paced tag match is always a good idea as it sets the pace for the rest of the show. The good guys’ high spots were more than enough to fire up the crowd and the show is off to a fast start, which is the goal of an opener.

We recap Matt Hardy vs. Kane. Matt’s girlfriend Lita slept with Kane to keep him from destroying Matt but got pregnant as a result. The solution? A match to determine who Lita has to marry of course. What else would it have been?

Matt Hardy vs. Kane

We get to see Lita in something resembling a dress which is a rare visual. This is called a Til Death Do Us Part match which I guess is similar to the Love Her Or Leave Her match in 1999, but I’m pretty sure it’s a standard one on one match. Matt jumps Kane from the opening bell and hits a running clothesline in the corner. The Side Effect gets two and kane is sent to the apron. A middle rope Fameasser brings Kane back inside and a nearly botched tornado DDT gets two.

Matt pounds on Kane in the corner as this is completely one sided so far. As soon as I say that, Kane comes back with a huge uppercut to lay Matt out. Kane chokes away both on the mat and in the corner before staring at Lita. Kane misses a charge and gets low bridged to the floor so Matt can hit a big dive. A Twist of Fate on the floor has Kane in trouble but there’s no count on the floor. Kane sits up and gets back in at nine so Matt goes back to the stomping.

Lita slides in the ring bell and distracts the referee long enough for Matt to knock Kane silly for two. Back up and Hardy has to fight out of a chokeslam bid but gets caught by a big boot to the face. Kane goes up top but gets crotched, sending Matt up for a top rope DDT. You don’t go up top with Kane though as he grabs Matt by the throat and a top rope chokeslam is good for the pin.

Rating: C. This was short but fun while it lasted. Matt was working hard out there but he was just up against too much. The top rope chokeslam looked good too with Matt bouncing off the canvas. Kane was good as a ruthless monster like this and the evil smiles helped a lot. Lita’s early days in this role were fun give what was coming for her in the coming years.

Randy Ortno says tonight is about the rise of a new star, but someone stops him in his tracks. John Cena shows up and takes the spotlight from Orton and offers to hook Orton up with his own merchandise. Cena polls the audience and they don’t think he’s winning the title tonight. He’s still in the full on rapper mode but he’s clearly working as hard as he can at it which is what gets you noticed. Orton doesn’t care what the people think because he’s winning the title tonight.

Booker T. vs. John Cena

Booker is US Champion but this is the first match in a best of 5 series for the title, meaning the belt isn’t on the line here. Cena won the title at Wrestlemania but was stripped of it by then GM Kurt Angle with Booker winning it a few weeks later. They slug it out in the middle of the ring to start until Cena gets two off a hard clothesline. Booker elbows out of a hammerlock and chops away but another clothesline puts him down.

Cena hits the Throwback for two but Booker crotches him on the top and knocks Cena out to the floor to take over. Back in and Booker fires off a hook kick to the jaw and drops a knee to the head. The side kick (called a spin kick by Cole despite a lack of spinning) puts Cena down and it’s off to a quickly broken camel clutch. Booker stops Cena’s comeback and it’s off to a chinlock. Cena fights up and gets two off a quick small package before avoiding the ax kick. John makes his comeback with his usual array of strikes, only to get caught in a facejam, setting up the Spinarooni…..but Booker walks into the FU for the pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much and it’s kind of stupid to have the first match of a best of five series here. The whole thing wouldn’t end until October, dragging the idea out WAY too long. It wasn’t bad but this felt like it could have been on any given episode of Smackdown. Also did we really need to have the champion lose clean in less than seven minutes?

Teddy Long, still the Smackdown GM, brags about the best of 5 series idea to himself. Eric Bischoff comes in (Teddy: “Hey it’s the head cracker that runs Raw.”) and laughs at Smackdown for having so many GM’s. He thinks Teddy will be out of a job by Survivor Series. This is being written nearly nine years later and Teddy is still kicking around on Smackdown and has been GM on and off the entire time. Anyway Long says he’d love to take Bischoff’s nephew Eugene to Smackdown and making him a huge star. Apparently that offer is good for anyone sick of Bischoff’s nonsense.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. Chris Jericho vs. Batista

Edge is defending and Batista has been destroying everyone left and right leading up to this with a big running clothesline. Batista jumps Edge during his entrance but Jericho is quickly on Big Dave. The fans are surprisingly behind Jericho despite us being in Edge’s hometown. Batista starts firing off the shoulder blocks in the corner and catches a cross body in a powerslam to put Jericho down. Edge comes in just in time to break up the Batista Bomb with Jericho going to the floor.

Batista drops Edge face first on the buckle with snake eyes but Jericho breaks up the big clothesline. Edge dropkicks Batista to the floor……and is booed out of the building. Odd indeed. He joins the challengers on the floor and sends Batista shoulder first into the steps as the fans say they want Christian. Instead they get a battle of the Canadians in the ring with Jericho being the HUGE favorite. Edge takes over and the booing begins again.

Jericho counters the Edgecution into a Walls attempt but Edge counters that into a small package for two. Edge rolls through a cross body for two but now the Walls go on full. Jericho pulls him away from the ropes and Edge is in big trouble but Batista makes the last second save. He sends Jericho into the post but gets caught by a tornado DDT from Edge for two.

Chris is back up just in time to break up the spear to Batista, because why would you want the monster taken down? Batista hits the spinebuster on Jericho for two as Edge saves. He escapes a spinebuster from Batista as well before getting two on a rollup to Jericho. Jericho makes another comeback on Edge with the fans entirely behind him. The bulldog takes Edge down but he has to dropkick Batista down, allowing Edge to spear his fellow Canadian down to retain.

Rating: C-. This came off like a forced heel turn for Edge and the full turn would be coming very soon. Jericho being the big favorite was only somewhat surprising as he was a native countryman but you would expect Edge to have been a bit popular there. The match was nothing special but the idea was to keep Batista down which is a nice rub for him and his time was coming soon.

We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle. Eddie beat Angle at Wrestlemania to retain the title and then Angle’s neck legitimately gave out so he was made GM. Angle then made the decision that cost Eddie the title (the right call actually) and then screwed him over in the rematch, setting up the second match here.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Technical stuff to start with Eddie actually surviving on the mat. The fans are almost entirely behind Angle but it’s Eddie going for the ankle. When that gets him nowhere it’s off to a headlock instead but you know Angle isn’t going to stand for that very long. He hooks a keylock on Eddie’s arm but Eddie gets out with a fireman’s carry. Off to an armbar by Guerrero but Angle spins out, only to be caught in the ankle lock in the middle of the ring.

Kurt finally rolls over and rakes the eyes to escape before hooking an Angle Slam for two. There go the straps and the ankle lock is locked on Eddie, only to have him counter into another one of his own. Kurt counters THAT into his second ankle lock but Guerrero makes it to the ropes. Angle’s heavy Luther Reigns gets in a cheap shot and Kurt goes right back to the hold but Eddie makes another rope.

Back in the middle of the ring and Angle hooks a very modified STF as the mat work continues nonstop. Kurt goes to a regular leg lock and starts taking off Eddie’s boot which is what cost him the Wrestlemania match. Off to a chinlock with a leg trap but Eddie fights up and gets a jawbreaker and an Angle Slam of his own. Yeah Kurt LOVED the whole stealing finishers bit.

Back up and Eddie fires away as his boot is almost off. The Three Amigos put Angle down but he pops up and runs the corner to suplex Guerrero down before the frog splash. The Angle Slam is countered into a DDT but the frog splash misses. Now the Angle Slam connects for two (duh) and the fans are behind Guerrero. Angle rips Eddie’s boot off and the ankle lock goes on again, but this time Eddie rolls through, sending Kurt into the referee.

A boot shot to the head puts down both Angle and Reigns but Eddie throws the boot down and drops to the mat like a good cheater. The frog splash gets two and the fans changes sides again. Eddie complains to the referee and the ankle lock goes on again, this time forcing the tap out.

Rating: B. This was entertaining but it felt like it skipped a few gears. The seven straight minutes of mat work were good but when you go from that into the traditional main event style it’s kind of a big jump. Angle looked good out there but Eddie really didn’t do much. It felt like we were just waiting on Angle to finally catch him and then he did to end the match.

We recap HHH vs. Eugene. Rock saved Eugene from an attack but Eugene said HHH was his favorite wrestler. HHH used this to his advantage and made Eugene an honorary member of Evolution. Flair: “It’ll kill our gimmick!” HHH said it was just to get the title back but Eugene wound up costing HHH his rematch against Benoit, leading to the Evolution beatdown. This led to HHH destroying Eugene’s friend William Regal, setting up HHH vs. Eugene tonight. You know, HHH, the multi-time world champion against Eugene, who learned to wrestle watching TV.

HHH vs. Eugene

They slug it out to start and HHH stomps him into the corner. Eugene comes back with an elbow to the face and a backdrop, sending HHH rolling to the floor. An ax handle off the apron puts HHH down and the booing begins. As in people are booing Eugene. This sounds like a good time for a sidebar.

For those of you that weren’t around in 2004, Eugene was easily the most over guy on the roster for a few weeks. I mean his music would play and the crowd would just explode, no matter what city they were in. Even I was a big fan of the guy. He was such a fun and innocent character that it was almost impossible to not like him. It was so goofy to see him doing Stunners and Rock Bottoms and stuff Junk Yard Dog did back in the day because it was like watching a five year old wrestle. Then one night he was shown in a gym beating William Regal in a chain wrestling contest, making him even more popular.

In other words, the Eugene character was a full on success. This is where WWE screwed everything up. Instead of just letting Eugene be what he was and make occasional appearances to pop the crowd (or open house show matches beating some annoying heel), they pushed it too far. The minute they put him in a story about the world title with main event level guys, it was all over.

At the end of the day, that’s just not what the people wanted Eugene to be. They wanted it to be fun and silly so they could have a good time with it, but WWE tried to make it serious, completely killing the joke. As soon as you tell fans that Eugene’s character has a problem, you’re no longer laughing at a guy who does goofy things but rather you’re laughing at a slow guy, which no one wants to do.

This lead to the fans not wanting to watch Eugene anymore, because he really was just a guy doing a bunch of random wrestling moves and had no business being at this level (Note that Nick Dinsmore, the guy that portrayed Eugene is a very talented wrestler. His character was what didn’t belong here, not Dinsmore himself. BIG difference). When you try to force the fans to like something in a way they don’t want to, it’s going to blow up in a hurry. The lesson to be learned: don’t make the audience go somewhere they don’t want to go, because at the end of the day they make the decisions, not the company.

So anyway HHH hides behind Lillian to get the advantage and rams Eugene into the barricade before heading back inside for some stomping. He loads up the announce table but Eugene suplexes him back in to block. Eugene pounds away back inside but HHH sends him to the floor. Back in and HHH hits some backbreakers after suckering Eugene in after faking an injury. Eugene comes back so HHH begs off again, only to be pulled into a Rock Bottom and a People’s Elbow, with the latter being pulled into a spinebuster from HHH.

They head outside again with HHH sending him into the steps, busting Eugene’s shoulder open. Back inside and HHH continues toying with him before hooking a sleeper. Eugene shakes his finger at two arm drops before powering up and pounding away. He Hulks Up, catches the boot and does the Austin version of the finger in the face before hitting a Stunner. Back to the floor (again?) and here’s Flair.

Eugene hits the big boot and legdrop for two but has to deck Flair. A Pedigree is countered into a catapult and Eugene hits one of his own but it’s Flair making the save. Flair trips Eugene and gets ejected, drawing out Regal to knock Flair out cold. The distraction lets HHH hit the Pedigree for the pin on Eugene.

Rating: D-. Let’s recap: it took fourteen minutes and help from Flair for HHH to beat Eugene. On the other hand, we had to sit through fourteen minutes of HHH vs. Eugene and HHH had to sell most of the offense. AT SUMMERSLAM! This was the death of the Eugene character, even though he would win the tag titles with Regal soon after this. Somehow he went on THREE MORE YEARS, which is remarkable after how stupid this match was.

Now let’s waste more time with Divas Dodgeball, which is exactly what it sounds like. This is taking place at a basketball practice facility so you know the live crowd is THRILED. It’s good looking girls basically in swimsuits and another team in uniforms. This is beneath me and that’s all there is to it. It’s the main roster Divas vs. the Diva Search girls and after about five minutes of intros we get to the two minute game. The Diva Search girls dominate and win.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

No real story here other than Taker has to get a title shot at one PPV a year. They quickly head to the floor and taker has to glare JBL’s goon Orlando Jordan down before punching the champion in the face. Back inside but JBL punches his way out of Old School. A neckbreaker puts Taker down and a side slam gets two. Jibbles hits a top rope shoulder for two more but Taker pulls him down with an armbar of all things.

Now Old School connects and a downward spiral gets two before Taker cranks on a triangle choke. Back up and they trade big boots but Taker has to knock Jordan off the apron. JBL takes him down and wraps the leg around the post before cracking the ankle with a chair. The bad knee is rammed into the announce table and we head back inside with JBL busting out a Robinsdale Crunch of all things.

Off to a side leg lock but Taker quickly counters into a half crab. Taker switches over to a knee bar and the fans are loudly booing. Back up and Taker punches him out to the floor with a big right hand going into JBL’s jaw. The fans want the Spanish table but get the apron leg drop and more standing around. Back in and JBL gets punched off the top, setting up an Undertaker superplex but JBL goes right back to the knee to take over. He tries a spinning toehold but gets caught by the throat.

Taker hits a spinebuster of all things for two and the fans are counting down to something. The jumping clothesline puts JBL down but Taker’s knee is bothering him. A Snake Eyes and big clothesline combination gets two on the champion. The chokeslam connects but JBL gets a shoulder up to surprise the crowd. Here comes the tombstone but Taker has to get rid of Jordan again, allowing the Clothesline to put the dead man down for two.

Now the fans are behind Undertaker as he pounds away in the corner. There goes the referee and a double big boot puts both guys down. Jordan throws in the title so JBL can knock Taker out but even with Jordan picking up the referee’s hand it’s only good for two. Another Jordan distraction lets JBL hit a second Clothesline for no cover. He pounds away in the corner and gets caught in the Last Ride but there’s STILL no referee. A delayed cover gets two and here’s Jordan for the 4^th time but Taker knocks the title out of his hand, decks JBL with it, and gets caught for the LAME disqualification.

Rating: D. I’ve seen worse matches but the ending dragged it into the ground. This needed about five minutes taken away and added to the previous match to make the best out of everything. The match just went WAY too long and they had to repeat things so many times that the fans were chanting for the table instead of the match. This would be a repetitive pattern for JBL matches for the next eight months or so. Also what happened to Taker’s leg injury after about ten minutes in?

Taker chokeslams JBL through the roof of his limousine for revenge and to fill in some time. JBL does a stretcher job.

Wrestlemania 21 is in LA.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Chris Benoit

Orton won a battle royal a month ago to set this up. It’s weird to see Orton with hair, regular colored skin and few tattoos. The fans of course are more interested in telling Earl Hebner that he screwed Bret. Feeling out process to start with Benoit taking it into the corner for a clean break. Benoit takes it to the mat and puts on a hard chinlock which gets him nowhere. Off to a test of strength with the taller Orton taking over, but Benoit comes back with pure leverage.

Benoit hooks an armbar as we reset a bit. Orton fights up and is armdragged right back down to the mat with Benoit cranking away on the arm. That goes nowhere so Benoit tries a Sharpshooter but Orton kicks him off and puts on one of his own. Benoit counters into his own Sharpshooter but it’s not on full, allowing Orton to get to the ropes. The Crossface doesn’t go on full either so they head to the floor where Benoit is whipped into the barricade.

There’s the Spanish table chant again as Benoit is sent shoulder first into the post. Back in and Orton puts on an armbar of his own, showing some basic psychology. Orton drops him ribs first across the top rope and the fight moves to the outside with Benoit hitting a kind of DDT onto the apron to take over. Chris tries a suicide dive but rams his head into the barricade as Orton moves to the side. Back in and Orton wrenches the neck around before putting on something resembling a camel clutch.

Orton puts Benoit over his shoulder for a powerbomb but steps forward into a neckbreaker for two in a nice move. We hit the chinlock which is actually a smart move here. Back up and both guys hit cross bodies for a double knockout. They slug it out with the champion taking over via a series of forearms to the head. Orton blocks the rolling Germans but gets caught in a northern lights for two.

Randy fights off a superplex and hits a high cross body for two, crushing Benoit’s head again in the process. Chris ducks a clothesline and hits a release German suplex before putting on the Sharpshooter. Two arm drops later and Orton gets to the ropes, only to be caught in a long series of rolling Germans for two. Benoit loads up the Swan Dive but Orton gets up the knee, driving it right into Benoit’s jaw. That’s hard to watch today. Orton’s cover is countered into a bad looking Crossface but Orton rolls away to escape. Back up and another Crossface attempt is countered into the RKO out of nowhere for the pin and the title.

Rating: B+. This took a bit to get going but I really liked the ending with the RKO hitting from nowhere. It caught the technical master off guard which was the right idea given that Orton is younger and faster. It’s a good match and Benoit put Orton over clean right in the middle of the ring. You can’t ask for more than that.

Orton celebrates as Benoit leaves but Chris comes back and demands that Orton be a man and shake his hand.

Overall Rating: D. This show really wasn’t all that good. You have two good matches out of eight on the card (faces being 2-6 on this show didn’t help things) with Angle vs. Guerrero having been done better at Wrestlemania and Benoit vs. Orton being done again the next night on Raw. Undertaker vs. JBL would go on for a few more months while Benoit would drop out of the title scene. Orton’s push would be stopped cold as HHH would beat him for the title a month later and hold onto it until April because that’s what HHH does. This isn’t a good show though and is one of the worst Summerslams in a long time.

Ratings Comparison

Dudleys vs. Billy Kidman/Paul London/Rey Mysterio

Original: B-

Redo: C

Matt Hardy vs. Kane

Original: B

Redo: C

John Cena vs. Booker T

Original: D

Redo: D+

Chris Jericho vs. Edge vs. Batista

Original: C

Redo: C-

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Original: C-

Redo: B

HHH vs. Eugene

Original: D

Redo: D-

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Undertaker

Original: B-

Redo: D

Chris Benoit vs. Randy Orton

Original: A

Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: D

What was I thinking on that Undertaker match?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2004
Date: August 15, 2004
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 17,640
Announcers: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz

Once again another year has passed since Summerslam. Isn’t it odd how that’s always the case? Either way, things are indeed different now, as Chris Benoit finally broke through the glass ceiling and won the World Heavyweight Championship at Wrestlemania 20. Tonight he faces Randy Orton who is 22 years old and has all the potential in the world. When he won a battle royal for the #1 contender spot, no one knew what to think other than oh craphe might win it.

Other than that we have JBL vs. Taker for the Smackdown Title, which means little as JBL was already sucking badly, although for a different reason. In this case, JBL just had no resume as the character was brand new and two months after debuting he won the world title. Why should we buy into this character? That question was never actually answered so for the most part we didn’t.

Oh and there’s some guy named Cena who was on the roster last year but couldn’t manage to get on the show. He’s wrestling Booker T tonight in the first of a best of 5 series for the US Title. That series wouldn’t end for two months, which in itself is just stupid. Let’s get to this, as the card looks….interesting I guess you’d say.

The entrance video is set to Rush’s Summertime Blues, so that’s a bit of a perk. The idea is that this is the culmination of the summer, and because of that we get a humorous video of WWE guys in Olympic events. Oddly enough Angle isn’t shown in that. For some reason, the Smackdown Title is listed last, and I mean completely last.

It’s billed after everything, which isn’t saying much for it. Oh also I forgot to mention, the third big match is Angle vs. Guerrero in a Wrestlemania rematch which should be good. The arena looks very cool with the screen shaped in a half circle over the entrance to the arena so it looks kind of like the sun setting.

Dudleys vs. Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman/Paul London

Here we have Spike as the new boss of the Dudleys. He’s the Cruiserweight champion and is heel now as well. He’s apparently been “calling the shots” for some time now, although no one has ever figured out what moron green lighted this angle. No one took Spike seriously, ever, so it’s stupid to think that they would here either. Anyway, Spike took the title from Rey so Rey got two of his jobber tag team friends to help him out and this is what you get.

For some reason that I have no idea of, I remember this match being booked and thought it would steal the show. I have no idea what I was on but I’d love to have some more of it. Cole calls something vintage Spike. And so it begins. Two of them in less than two minutes. Did we never notice this before somehow? London and Kidman are the Smackdown tag champions at this time by the way, so yeah, screw that whole defending belts on PPV idea.

That just can’t be done obviously. Rey and Spike finally get together and apparently this is the reason this match is happening. Of course this is the better way to go instead of, oh I don’t know, DEFENDING A TITLE ON PAY PER VIEW? Rey is beating up all three of them by himself. You have to love the super powers that star power gives you. It’s a mess now of course and Rey and Kidman actually use the Hart Attack with Kidman being the powerhouse of the team.

619 leads to a shooting star press but D-Von makes the save. Kidman tries to fight off the two Dudleys that weigh more than 18lbs but eventually gets caught in the 3D and Spike gets the pin. Cole has come to a conclusion: Spike is now the boss of the Dudleys. Thank you for telling us again what you said at the beginning of it.

Rating: B-. I really liked this match. 6 man tags are a good way to open a show as they’re usually fast paced and offer a variety of combinations so if one matchup is bad the rest can balance it out nicely. This was fine here as it was two title feuds combined into one so that’s all good. However, there’s a point to having PPVs. They’re places where big matches are supposed to happen. When I say big matches, I mean matches where titles are on the line.

Lawler in a suit just doesn’t look right.

It’s recap time as our subject right here is Matt Hardy vs. Kane. Here’s the deal: Matt and Lita were engaged, but for some reason Kane hated Matt. Lita slept with Kane to keep him at bay, and now she’s pregnant with his baby. Insert your own soap opera related title joke here. The winner of this match gets to marry her. Yeah I know just go with it.

Matt Hardy vs. Kane

I’ve always loved Lita’s theme at this time. Matt’s is pretty sweet too actually. Kane is finally in his traditional attire so we’re starting to look modern here. Amazingly enough, this isn’t the stupidest stipulation in the history of Summerslam. Matt at this point had more or less no track record to speak of. He was a low level guy and this was probably his biggest feud to date, so he’s the epitome of the underdog here. He starts off fast though.

This was also when he still wasn’t fat and was at least trying very hard out there, which is all you can ask for a lot of the time. Matt more or less throws everything he’s got at Kane inside the first three minutes, including a Twist of Fate on the floor which gets a 9 from the referee (it had a good beat but I couldn’t dance to it do I give it a 65). Anyway, Matt fights with everything he’s got, but it’s just not enough.

This match is just hard to comment on as it’s barely over 6 minutes with a minute of that being the outside sequence. Lita slides the bell in to Matt, and her shouting of MATT doesn’t clue the referee in on the fact that they’re cheating, nor does the bell sound when he hits Kane with it. Screw the company sending the old guys to rehab. Send the referees to an optometrist. Anyway, Kane finally gets going but he’s on offense all of 40 seconds, which somehow is enough.

He goes up top for the clothesline but Matt crotches him. He tries a DDT from the top but gets chokeslamed instead. Matt’s landing of almost trying to sit up and just falling backwards is just great. Lita is of course stunned. The wedding would be tomorrow night and of course, it went bad.

Rating: B. Call me crazy, but I really liked this. It was way to short to be considered great, but in the time they had, it was certainly intense. You could feel Matt and Lita’s nervousness and it paid off. The chokeslam was great too, and Lita’s face at the end was both beautiful and destroyed at the same time. Short but very sweet.

Randy Orton is in the back, being asked by Todd Grisham about his match tonight. Orton is talking about how he’s going to win tonight when Cena comes in. He’s a rapper at this point and completely annoying. The showdown between these two does look cool though, considering what was coming. Cena asks the fans who will win and they say Benoit. This was nothing special, but it still looked cool just for the future aspect.

Booker T vs. John Cena

This is the first match in a best of 5 series for the title, which I think I kind of like. However, this took TWO MONTHS to get through. How is that possible? PPV, Smackdown, House Show, Smackdown, PPV. There, one month, 5 matches. This feud wouldn’t end until October though, so what’s the point? Cena is still a rapper at this point, and is rocking the Blue Jays old school jersey which is awesome.

Again, THIS IS SHORT. I don’t get the point in having all these 6-7 minute matches. Either way, the problem here is simple: the fans don’t care because they know there’s at least two more matches with these guys, so why should they care about this one? Nothing is going to happen at the end of it, so why should they care? I certainly don’t and I can’t imagine they did when it was actually happening either.

Cena was really starting to find his audience here and in the coming months would be launched into the main event of Smackdown, although he would have perhaps the worst world title change in the history of Wrestlemania as that show was all about Batista and HHH.

Either way, this is just not that interesting of a match as they can’t waste their best stuff with four matches to go and the fans aren’t that interested. That being said, maybe it’s good that this match is about six and a half minutes. Booker spins up and Cena calmly picks him up and FUs him for the win. This could be a textbook definition of a quick and uninteresting finish.

Rating: D. Like I said, they couldn’t use much of their best stuff, no one was interested, and it was way too short. Either way, this was just a bad match and it showed really bad. They would go on to improve huge, but this was a very bad way to start.

Teddy Long, still the Smackdown GM, is joined by Bischoff who would be fired in about a year. They lay the groundwork for Raw vs. Smackdown at Survivor Series and talk about Eugene.

Diva Dodge ball later tonight. Oh this isn’t going to go well.

IC Title: Batista vs. Jericho vs. Edge

Edge is champion here, having returned from injury and declared war on Evolution, although I don’t remember him ever getting to HHH. At the time, Batista was the hottest thing in wrestling to say the least. He was getting great face pops every time he came out, while Jericho was a face at this point. Edge of course was awesome, but he still didn’t have that spark he had pre injury.

His style has completely changed here as you can tell he’s tentative about going too hard, but at this point it was finally starting to wear off. Batista is also rocking a near mullet here with much longer hair than you’re used to. Batista had been using this big running clothesline to knock people out lately, similar to Luger’s forearm. Jericho as the home country boy gets a big pop. Edge still has his old music, but gets a bigger pop as Toronto’s own, according to Lillian.

We already are getting the Batista shoulders in the corner which still have that little stomp before them. The red boots aren’t working for him either. Edge stops Batista from hitting the Bomb on Jericho, which makes no sense as it would have made it a one on one match, but what do I know? Lawler says that Edge is opportunistic, so maybe Lawler is smarter than we all gave him credit for.

JR says that he’s complex. Didn’t that aspect of his character get thrown out a long time ago? Edge just towers over Jericho which is very funny looking to me. Batista is down on the floor so it’s Canadian on Canadian violence. Surprisingly the crowd is behind Jericho. I mean they’re REALLY behind Jericho. Edge is actually getting no reaction at all while you’d think Bret Hart was the guy he was fighting.

Batista gets back in and Edge goes for a spear on him, but Jericho knocks Edge out of the way. WHY WOULD HE DO THAT? It would wipe Batista out and then it would be one on one again, and since Batista had to make a save to end the Walls of Jericho just a second ago, you’d think that Jericho would want it one on one with Edge.

Anyway, Batista, who for a guy that is supposed to be a killer is on the floor a lot, is on the floor again as Jericho and Edge go at it one more time. This time, Jericho knocks Batista BACK to the floor, allowing Edge to hit the spear to keep the belt to no reaction. I mean the place is silent. It’s very weird indeed.

Rating: C. This was kind of a bunch of revolving one on one matches and while it didn’t fail, it didn’t really work either. Batista needed more seasoning, but screw that I guess because he was put into the main event just a few months later as he won the Rumble and headlined Mania in about 8 months. Either way, this was more about Edge vs. Jericho and while that’s fine, it was supposed to be a triple threat and from that standpoint it was just ok.

Ad for the Benoit DVD.

Recap of Angle and Eddie. They fought at Mania with Eddie loosening his boot so Kurt couldn’t grip it for the ankle lock, leading to a roll up for the pin. Angle then was chokeslammed from a balcony, breaking his leg. He was upset that he had a real injury and Eddie faked one, and says that Eddie has to cheat to beat him.

Angle, the GM of Smackdown at the time, screwed Eddie out of the title in a cage match, so Eddie was ticked. That leads us here, and it really doesn’t sound that good when I think about it.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Luther Reigns, who did nothing at all, is with Kurt here. Eddie comes out in the lowrider, which I’ve always hated. What’s the point of it anyway? Oh look I have a car that can bounce. Yeah that’s really cool. Cole calls Angle a former Grand Slam Winner. For one thing, does that sounds like he won an eating competition at a Denny’s? Either way, how can he be a former winner of it? If he’s won it once, he’s always won it right?

They do a nice technical sequence to start with neither guy being able to hold an advantage for that long. Eddie even goes for the ankle in a nice touch. Angle gets a key lock on Eddie, which Tazz corrects Cole for calling an armbar. As Eddie is getting up, Tazz calls it an armbar. You have to love the thought process sometimes of Tazz, or his lack thereof. Angle finally ends this friendly natured competition with a German, but Eddie gets a full ankle lock on which just looks weird.

Angle counters and hits the slam, then his own ankle lock. In a cool looking spot, Eddie grabs his ankle and for a few seconds, both have ankle locks on the other. Eddie’s is broken though as he apparently has a titanium leg, because being in the hold for about a minute won’t make him tap. There’s having heart, and then there’s just being stupid. This is the latter.

Oh the straps were pulled down inside of 5 minutes. This has been like an Angle match in fast forward. They go to the mat…again. This is like a bad MMA fight where they’re just laying on each other the whole time and no one really does anything. The fans are just completely dead for it as even I’m getting drowsy. Seriously, they’ve been wrestling for about ten minutes and at least 7 of that has been submission holds.

Eddie has a spot whispered to him by Angle, who for no apparent reason has unlaced Eddie’s boot, which in theory would help his ankle by letting it loosen up a bit, but what do I know? Eddie hits a belly to back suplex to get out of another chinlock, but because he’s facing Angle, it’s called an Angle slam. I can’t stand that. Why is it that when anyone else does it it’s an average move, but when Angle does it it’s devastating?

The same holds true for a lot of people. JBL used a hard clothesline which the Steiners did for years, Jericho has a Boston Crab which is a bad example because it never beats anyone, and Lawler uses a fist. Why are these moves so devastating? It’s not like you’re going to get better at them with a lot of practice or strength like the chokeslam or a power bomb.

Anyway, Eddie comes back with punches and the third one is just after his stupid dance, so naturally the power behind it triples. Benoit is ripped off even more by the snap suplexes followed by Eddie going up for the splash. Angle does the run up the ropes belly to belly which is just flat out cool. Luther is shown and my theory that he’s completely pointless is confirmed as he hit Eddie once about 10 minutes ago and this is the first we’ve seen of him since.

After Angle hits a thumb to the eye, which Cole would make you think was a .45 caliber bullet to the face, Angle gets the boot completely off to expose the sock covered ankle. He gets the ankle lock on for about the 12th time after getting up from a frog splash to get Eddie to tap out. Seriously, Reigns was completely worthless here.

Rating: C-. This was just flat out boring for the first 8-10 minutes as it was nothing, and I mean nothing but submission holds. Now that’s fine in theory, but DANG it just got boring after awhile. It was nothing but chinlocks, headlocks and ankle locks. Now once they stopped doing that it got miles better but prior to that it was just flat out horrid.

The dozen ankle locks didn’t help either as it just got stupid after awhile. It made the hold look very weak as Eddie held on for probably three minutes total in it without ever giving up. It just didn’t work at all for me and while others would think it was great, this wasn’t good for me.

We recap HHH vs. Eugene. This is why this era from the WWE is looked down on so much. We have probably the best stable since the NWO and their leader is fighting a guy that’s challenged. Anyway, this was actually a pretty creative storyline in my eyes.

Eugene was a guy that was a wrestling savant, meaning that while he had no actual training or anything of the sort, he had learned from watching wrestling for many years, and then got trained (on camera) by Regal, making him into a complete wrestler. In reality, Eugene was played by Nick Dinsmore who was a very talented technical wrestler. He’s the undisputed god of OVW, having won the heavyweight title 9 times and the tag titles 10 times or something like that.

Think of Lawler in Memphis kind of. Anyway, Eugene was saved by the Rock when people were making fun of him and he said that HHH was his favorite wrestler. Instead of HHH getting someone competent to help him though, he enlists Eugene as an honorary member of Evolution on a night where Eugene was guest GM.

Eugene booked Benoit vs. HHH for Vengeance for the WHC, which Eugene accidentally cost HHH. He then beat up Regal, who was Eugene’s mentor. That leads us here. The problem here is simple though: at the end of the day, while that storyline at least sounds good, IT’S STILL HHH VS. A SLOW GUY. Doesn’t that just sound silly?

HHH vs. Eugene

I now remember why I hate Eugene: you can never get his song out of your head once you hear it. It’s freaking addictive. Why does the annoying character have to be from Kentucky? Oh yeah and Eugene is freakishly strong. In case you don’t remember don’t worry, the announcers will tell you every 38 seconds. HHH shoves Lillian down so Eugene helps her up but gets beaten on for his trouble.

HHH fakes a knee injury, prompting the referee to throw up the fake X. It’s pretty good I think though, as it is pretty good as a way to fool the marks in the audience. HHH jumps Eugene and immediately the crowd starts cheering him, which Lawler and Ross try to pass off as just due to the Canadian fans being bizarre. The thing that I forgot to mention was that the fans absolutely hated Eugene.

The problem was simple: he was used WAY too much. When he debuted he was a character that a lot of people actually liked. It was something that hadn’t been done this well before and the fact that he was actually a very good worker helped things a lot as well. The problem was that they screwed it up the same way they screwed up Santino.

He’s fine in small doses, maybe once a week, but there was a Raw where Eugene was in 6 separate segments and the fans just got sick of the sight of him. His character was never meant to be involved in serious storylines but they did it anyway. The WWE formula has long since been if a little bit of something works, then a lot of it will work a lot better, which simply isn’t the case and hardly ever is.

It certainly wasn’t here, and it never clicked in the WWE’s eyes. They blamed Eugene for not being able to get over, since the booking of WWE can never be wrong can it? Either way, it bombed bad after this, even to the point of them trying to turn him heel, which also failed completely. You can tell HHH is younger here. He’s only an eight time world champion. Eugene does other people’s moves, such as the Rock Bottom.

He goes for the People’s Elbow, but HHH has had enough of this bull of stealing moves, and he lets Eugene know about it by nailing him with a AA spinebuster. Lawler gets in a good line about Eugene: he wasn’t even his mother’s favorite and he’s an only child. I forgot to mention: Eugene is Bischoff’s nephew which is why he’s around at all. Eugene actually Hulks Up before flipping HHH off and stunning him as the fans are cheering for some guy named boo.

Flair comes out as Eugene kicks HHH in the face and drops a leg on him. This is stupider than words can describe. He even gets a pedigree but Flair saves him. The referee throws Flair out and Regal nails him with knuckles. HHH takes the time to hit the pedigree and end this finally.

Rating: D. Again, it comes down to this: HHH IS BEATING UP A SLOW GUY. The fans hated him, the match was too long, it’s not believable, and the feud was just bad. It was complete overkill for the character and after this, aside from a tag title run that ended in injury, he never did anything else in WWE. This was just a waste of 15 minutes and I can’t believe this was all they could come up with for HHH.

Diva Dodge Ball

Yes, it’s the girls from the Diva Search, most of whom got hired, against the established divas in a game of dodge ball at the Raptors’ practice facility. Oh and look they’re all wearing bras and shorts.

Here are the rosters if you’re interested: Amy Weber, Joy Giovanni, Tracie Wright (never hired), Maria (hot as a dirty blonde), Christy and Michelle (pre plastic surgery) vs. Victoria, Gail Kim, Jazz, Stacy, Molly and Nidia. That right there shows how stupid the Diva Search was. All but one of the 6 finalists got jobs anyway. Apparently Trish is the captain. The Diva Search girls win.

Rating: F-. This was a waste of time and was for 12 year olds. I hate stuff like this. They actually wasted 5 minutes on this, and yet we get no recap for the Smackdown title match.

Smackdown World Title: JBL vs. Undertaker

We get literally no backstory here as they say these two are having a match and then the lights go out. Yeah that’s great guys. Basically, Taker just said he wanted a title shot and got one. This was just after JBL had won the belt so I think this was his first feud as champion. No one, and I mean no one, bought him as champion because literally this is how it went: Eddie wins title, JBL debuts as the rich guy, challenges, challenges again, wins title.

There was no buildup to his character at all. He had been Bradshaw for years now and all of a sudden he’s a self made millionaire and apparently has been for many years? Yeah, we’re just going to believe that I guess. It was just completely from left field and no one wanted to see him as top heel and it followed him for years as a stigma about him, which I think was unfair and should be blamed more on the bookers.

Until this, his career highlight was 6 days or so as European Champion, and now he’s challenging for the world title as a DiBiase rip off? Starting to see why this didn’t work for about two years? Taker’s entrance as always is awesome as he more or less walks through a tunnel of fire. Apparently JBL attacked Taker on Smackdown a few days ago. Thanks for that great story Cole. Taker is back to the Dead Man now.

JBL still has the big white limp with the horns. He’s accompanied by Orlando Jordan, somehow even more of a waste of space. I think I hate Nick Patrick. He’s just annoying as a referee. JBL is wearing orange/red tights that are just a complete and utter failure. Tazz says he’s not sure how to beat the Undertaker. I thought a pin would work fine but maybe there are separate rules for him. JBL actually goes up top and hits a flying shoulder block that looked pretty good.

Old School connects, which actually is vintage, and Cole reminds us of that. Jordan gets kicked in the head but JBL gets a shot into the knee to end any offense that Taker was on. The fans start doing the wave. I don’t know if that’s a cultural thing, but I’ve always found it rude. It’s not like the match is terrible or anything. If I’m one of the guys in the ring, then I don’t like the fact that the fans are apparently not interested in my match but are interested in throwing their hands up for no apparent reason.

JBL hits the clothesline and of course Taker kicks out of it since that move just completely sucks. Since this is a Taker match, the referee gets bumped and since it’s Nick Patrick, he stays down for about two days. In between we have all kinds of interference and finishers, including a standard clothesline that is called the finisher, which stuns Cole that Taker more or less pops up from it. Well DUH.

Taker does the power bomb out of the corner spot that he beat HHH with at Mania 17, but as he goes for the tombstone, Jordan tries to hit him with the belt. Taker does it instead and the referee wakes up just in time to DQ him. Post match, we get the best spot of the show as Taker beats JBL onto the limo then chokeslams him through the roof.

The spot is ok, but it’s great because it led to one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen that I wish I could find a picture of. JBL is in a halo and more or less has his hat tied to his head. It’s funnier than it sounds.

Rating: B-. This was ok I guess, although I think everyone knew Taker wouldn’t get the title off of JBL immediately. There was a rematch two months later at No Mercy that was ok I suppose. This feud was just filler until Cena was truly ready to go, so nothing of note happened here. It was fine though.

Wrestlemania 21 is in LA.

Raw World Title-Randy Orton vs. Chris Benoit

At the time, Orton was doing the thing where he was like look at me and bow to my greatness. He won a battle royal to get this shot, but that’s not important enough to be told. Fink has mic issues, which Jerry plays off by saying that even Fink is choked up. Ok so they do cover the battle royal thing, but dang did they take long enough? Benoit of course gets a huge pop. I think Lawler has a crush on Orton.

He says that Orton could be a model for statues. Dang Jerry just go blow him already. Test of strength is more or less a tossup. The first good part of this match is these two using all kinds of wrestling holds. It’s very interesting to see Orton working very well on the mat as that’s certainly not something you see from him very often. Granted it may be Benoit making him look good, but at least Randy is capitalizing on it.

Benoit hooks the Sharpshooter and you’d think everyone had been given money, food and sex. Good lord they blew up over it. It’s countered and Benoit’s shoulder is hurt, so the VIPER strikes on it. Did you know Orton is a viper now? Not sure if that caught on, but Orton is a viper! This is a good back and forth match so far. Benoit hits the suicide dive to the floor but Orton moves.

Benoit slams into the wall in an absolutely sick looking spot. I don’t know if that was planned or not but if not then goodness. Actually if yes then goodness as well. It’s time to chinlock it up as every Orton match comes complete with one. It’s like the toy in a Happy Meal, just not as entertaining. They do a double cross body, which looks awesome too. These two can work really well together actually. They go back and forth even longer and another Sharpshooter is put on.

Oddly enough there’s been limited Crossface attempts. However, I think that’s the best way to go as it wouldn’t make sense for Benoit to try it. Why should he? He’s worked the back and knees all match so why would he, a thinking wrestler, go for the neck and shoulder? He doesn’t and to me that’s a sign of a great wrestler. Finishing moves are fine, but they should make sense.

That’s one thing Ric Flair was always great at. Watch his matches and his offense, or at least 90% of it is either basic offense or working on the legs. That makes such perfect sense and it fits that he uses it like that. He never focused on the neck or back or anything like that, and he shouldn’t have. Benoit goes up and tries the headbutt, but Orton I think tries to roll out of the way.

Either way, the top of his head rams into Benoit’s head and it just looked painful. Just as soon as I type that big long rant about how smart Benoit is, we get the crossface, which I guess I see why that is done in this case because nothing else has worked, so he puts it on him and cranks for all he’s got as a last ditch effort.

Anyway, Orton gets the ropes and in one of my favorite finishes ever, Benoit tries for the Crossface again but Orton gets behind him and nails the RKO for the quick pin and the title. If it tells you anything about the match, the fans give them a standing ovation. The look on Orton’s face is just perfect as he’s completely stunned and it looks like he’s saying did I really just do that? Lawler’s orgasm could stop a drought.

Orton celebrates with the title as Benoit comes back in. He sticks out his hand and shouts for Orton to be a man. Orton shakes his hand as Benoit’s music plays us out. To be fair, he leaves and lets Orton be alone in the ring as he should be. The problem here though is the next night they had another great match for free on Raw. That match still haunts us today though, as it officially kicked off HHH vs. Randy Orton.

Yes, that was the night where Orton was kicked out of Evolution. Note: THAT WAS FIVE YEARS AGO, and they’re still feuding. The whole cool moment was wasted too, as Orton had the title a mere four weeks, losing his first title defense to, who else, HHH at Unforgiven.

HHH would hold it until Mania where he would drop it to Batista. I hate that as it’s more of HHH dominating the belt while another young guy has a short feud after being built up as the young phenom so well, but that’s Raw booking in 04 for you.

Rating: A. This was a great match. They were back and forth the whole time and while I don’t think anyone expected Orton to win, I think it fit really well as Benoit just couldn’t beat him no matter how hard he tried. It made Orton look like the better man and that’s how it should have been done. This is a very good match that you should check out if you haven’t seen it before.

Overall Rating: C+. This show is really up and down all night between decent stuff and flat out boring stuff. The main event is by far the best match of the show, but that’s not really a surprise. Eddie and Angle is something I definitely could see going either way but it just didn’t do it in my case.

JBL and Taker I thought was good but not great. The opening two matches were good enough, but HHH and Eugene along with the divas thing were just horrid to say the least. I’ll recommend it, but have a remote ready to fast forward some stuff.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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