IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 22, 2019
Location: Amalie Arena, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Corey Graves, Renee Young, Michael Cole

It’s a big night around here with Raw Reunion, featuring just about every big name you can think of who didn’t have anything better to do tonight. In other words, it’s time to try to get people to watch the show and since we don’t have many people of this generation to present (or Summerslam in less than three weeks), here we are. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s John Cena to get things going so they’re not wasting time around here. The fans are very pleased to see him. Cena: “WAIT A MINUTE! You mean all I had to do was be part of the Raw Reunion and now you’re all nice to me???” Cena lists off some of the big names scheduled to be here tonight because this is his home. He might not be around here as much as he used to be but this is his home so let’s get this started.

Cue the Usos with Jimmy saying WHOA WHOA WHOA. The people are happy with Raw Reunion but they want the three of them to drop some rhymes. Cena politely declines but Jey says these people are here to see the doctor. That gets Cena’s attention, with Jey making it worse by saying Cena left them for the movies. Cena gets back in and says he isn’t getting bested.

Cena: “Ya’ll look just like your mug shots. How was it getting arrested?” Cena tries to leave again but the Usos say hang on because here’s Rikishi. That’s enough for Cena to leave again, but Rikishi tells him to back it up and turn around. Rikishi can’t let him leave all fast and furious and dancing is loaded up, only to have the Revival cut them off. Hang on again though as here as here’s D-Von Dudley.

Jimmy Hart and Hulk Hogan are in the back with Hogan saying he thinks he can beat someone up tonight.

Usos vs. Revival

Non-title with Booker T. joining commentary and Rikishi/D-Von in the corners. A Wilder distraction lets Dawson get in a cheap shot on Jimmy and the villains take over. Dawson hits a belly to back suplex and steals the bandanna to throw at Rikishi. Jimmy gets knocked off the apron and out to the floor as we take a break, now with the screen in screen ala Smackdown.

Back in a hurry with Dawson elbowing Jimmy in the face and Wilder grabbing a chinlock. That’s broken up and Dawson misses a charge, allowing the tag off to Jey. The Samoan drop plants Wilder but Dawson shoves him out of the way of a high crossbody. Jimmy is right back with a running Umaga attack in the corner but Dawson makes a blind tag. A German suplex/middle ripe uppercut combination gets two with Jey making the save. D-Von and Rikishi stare each other down so Dawson yells, allowing Jey to hit a superkick. Jimmy’s Superfly Splash is good for the pin at 7:54.

Rating: C+. Another fun match between the two talented teams, though I’m still trying to figure out what D-Von has to do with the Revival. This probably sets up a title match at Summerslam which we’ve seen before, but it’s not like there are many other serious teams to challenge Revival at the moment.

Alicia Fox (not sure if she’s considered a legend or if WWE forgot she worked there) and Dana Brooke are in the back when Kaitlyn comes up. Torrie Wilson comes in and we must cheer her, only to have Santino Marella come in for the Cobra cameo. Drew McIntyre pops in and sneers at them.

We look back at R-Truth having to deal with Hurricane and Drake Maverick at Comic-Con.

R-Truth and Carmella think Big Bird could help deal with his problems when Renee Michelle pops in. It’s a ruse though as Maverick steals the pin and the title. Charly Caruso is shocked but Godfather, complete with music, shows up to hit his catchphrase. Dancing ensues. Graves: “Do you think she knew who that was?” Renee Young: “No.”

Cedric Alexander vs. Drew McIntyre

Rematch from last week where Alexander beat McIntyre. Drew goes right after him in the aisle and tries to send him into the post, only to post himself by mistake. A moonsault off the middle rope connects but Drew sends him into the post. The reverse Alabama Slam into the apron drops Cedric again and there’s no match.

Maverick goes into the locker room to get his stuff and runs into a crate of worms. Cue the Boogeyman to scare Maverick to death when Pat Patterson of all people comes in to steal the title. Pat: “Brisco is gonna love that.”

Viking Raiders vs. Curt Hawkins/Zack Ryder

Christian is out for commentary. Hawkins and Ryder double dropkick Ivar to start and an STO/Russian legsweep combination takes Erik down. A right hand drops Ryder though and Ivar hits his seated senton out of the corner. Ivar gets slammed onto Ryder, who is over for the tag to Hawkins a few seconds later. A suicide dive takes Ryder out and the Viking Experience finishes Hawkins at 2:38.

There’s a party in the back when Maria Kanellis comes in to yell at Mike for talking to Eve Torres and Eric Bischoff. Eric teases an offer to come to Smackdown when Maria comes in. She isn’t happy with Mike not rubbing lotion on her stomach to prevent stretch marks from the baby, which is going to ruin her modeling career. Maria is the breadwinner now and Mike has messed up again. Ron Simmons comes in and does the catchphrase, complete with Jimmy Hart’s megaphone.

The Club (now dubbed the OC) is in the back and talking about how awesome it is to be the only club that matters. They’re the ones who matter instead of these so called legends. AJ isn’t sweating Seth Rollins tonight but if Rollins wants more after he loses, they can make a statement. The OC is the most dominant group in WWE history then, now and forever.

Gerald Brisco has stolen the title from Patterson when he runs into Kelly Kelly, who pins him to win the title. Good thing they had her music cued up in case someone ran into her.

Here’s Samoa Joe for a chat. He talks about Raw Reunion, which is a plague to WWE. Tonight is about putting on rose colored glasses and indulge the fans’ addiction to nostalgia. Tonight you could have seen him wrecking people left and right and painting in brutality but instead you got the Usos and Rikishi spitting limericks at John Cena.

Cue Roman Reigns to interrupt because he doesn’t like his family being insulted. Joe gets in his face but Reigns says he knows what happens when you insult someone on the island. The fight is on and Joe goes for the eyes before sending Reigns shoulder first into the post. They head back inside with Reigns managing a Superman Punch to send Joe outside. Joe bails and Reigns says not all Samoans are cowards. That sounds like a challenge and the match is made for later.

Roman Reigns vs. Samoa Joe

Well it is later. Reigns sends him into the corner to start but misses a charge into the post. Joe takes him down into an early neck crank but Reigns fights up, earning himself an elbow to the face. A toss sends Reigns outside for the suicide elbow in a big knockdown. It works so well that Joe tries the same thing but Reigns moves this time. That means a big apron dropkick, followed by the clotheslines back inside. The Superman Punch is blocked and Joe hits a big boot for two. Joe escapes the Koquina Clutch to send him outside, setting up an ugly looking spear for the pin at 5:49.

Rating: C. This was all about hitting each other really hard and the motif of throwing each other outside over and over again was a fine way to keep things going. I’m not sure what Reigns is going to be doing at Summerslam but at this rate, I’m not sure Joe is going to have anything to do since he keeps losing so often.

It’s time for MizTV and after a plug for Miz and Mrs., here’s Seth Rollins. We look at Rollins winning the battle royal last week and then look at the title change from Extreme Rules. Miz calls the whole thing a predicament, which Rollins finds funny. He makes fun of Paul Heyman’s introduction of Lesnar and then Brock himself. Lesnar looks like Godzilla but Seth is ready to fight him.

Rollins says Lesnar is a Rollins wannabe but here’s Heyman on screen to interrupt. His name is Seth Rollins’ dose of reality and brings up Rollins cashing in on Lesnar four years ago. Rollins says that makes Lesnar a wannabe so here’s Heyman in the arena to say this is the last time….and Rollins cuts him off to say Heyman better be ready to walk the walk. Rollins teases coming up the ramp so Heyman runs. The reality is that Lesnar is no conqueror or beast because he is a man. Any man can lose and at Summerslam, Lesnar will lose. As for tonight, Rollins isn’t resting and gets to face AJ Styles so he can wrestle the best.

Sami Zayn interrupts the party (now with Jillian Hall) to say this is a huge waste of time. This is like watching the Attitude Era through the Face App and these people need to go home. Don’t come back at Wrestlemania or the Hall of Fame and just go home. Cue Rey Mysterio to say show some respect for the people who came before him (It’s Torrie Wilson, Jimmy Hart, Jillian Hall and Rikishi. I see one and a half people worth respecting in that group.). Kurt Angle comes in and we’ll be having a match next.

Kelly runs into Candice Michelle, Melina and Naomi in the back. As luck would have it, Melina just got her referee’s license and Candice wins the title, meaning the Go Daddy dance is back. Alundra Blayze comes in and makes her tap to win the title. She admits she isn’t going to be champion very long and leaves.

Sami Zayn vs. Rey Mysterio

Jonathan Coachman is on commentary. Sami knees him in the ribs to start and ties him in the Tree of Woe to take over. A running knee in the corner gets two and we’re already off to the chinlock. Back up and a spinning hurricanrana is countered into a sitout powerbomb for two on Rey.

Sami loads Rey up for something but gets caught in a tornado DDT for his efforts. It’s too early for the 619….and here’s Rob Van Dam, who is under contract to Impact but is here on a one night deal. Sgt. Slaughter, Hurricane, and Kurt Angle come out as well, allowing Rey to hit the 619 into a Frog splash (complete with finger points) for the win at 5:02.

Rating: D+. This was just there for the cameos and that’s fine. Rey is still active so it’s not like some random legend embarrassing a current star, which happens far too often at shows like this. Sami is a good punching bag and always has been, though at some point he needs to win a little something to maintain his credibility.

Ric Flair arrives.

The Street Profits are in the back with Dawkins needing some eye drops after spending some time with Van Dam in the bathroom. Ford is annoyed at not being invited and it’s even worse when he finds out Mark Henry and Ric Flair were there. Ford: “LIKE WOO???” Dawkins: “WOO!” Boogeyman was there too and Ford is about to lose it, made even worse when Godfather calls him.

Here’s Blayze in the arena to pull out a trashcan to drop the title but Ted DiBiase cuts her off and buys the title. We get the evil laugh and my night is made.

AJ Styles vs. Seth Rollins

Non-title and Jerry Lawler is out for commentary. Rollins grabs a headlock to start as Lawler goes over the 24/7 Title changes (Lawler: “I remember when those Stooges were asking for seconds at the Last Supper and now they’re winning championships!”). Some chops against the ropes have AJ in more trouble and a discus forearm rocks him into the corner.

An OC distraction lets AJ knocks Rollins off the apron and it’s time for all three of them to stare at Seth. HHH and Shawn Michaels come out for the big staredown and we take a break. Back with the match continuing as all four are still on the floor. Rollins hits the big springboard knee but the OC comes in for the DQ at 8:07.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and was all about the DX moment, which is perfectly fine. Also, it’s nice that they didn’t have the champ lose, which I almost expected after the Revival loss earlier. It was fine for a cameo and there’s nothing wrong with that on a show like this.

Post match the OC tease the Too Sweet but the fight is on. The OC grabs chairs but the Road Dogg, Kevin Nash, Scott Hall and X-Pac. Road Dogg talks about all of the members of DX, including Chyna’s spirit to make seven. Dogg: “Dang I forgot Billy.” They’re the OG’s so the OC bails. Rollins gets to do the catchphrase.

DiBiase gets in his limo and a pair of three counts and yelling is heard. Maverick comes out with the title but the mob chases him off.

Here’s Mick Foley for a chat. He talks about the 24/7 Title but the chase goes through the ring (Foley: “COME TO PAPA!”). They all leave so Foley wishes them a nice day. He’s had a lot of great memories on this show and wants to relive his favorite. That would be the title win on January 4, 1999…..and here’s Bray Wyatt. He puts Foley in the Mandible Claw and laughter is heard.

Here are Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross for a Moment of Bliss. Nikki gets to introduce Becky Lynch as the guest but before anything can be said, here’s Natalya to interrupt. Bliss: “Whatcha doing out here?” Natalya wants Becky to say anything to her face but Bliss shows us the post match promo from last week.

Natalya rants about the lack of respect from Becky, even after they wrestled in Japan fourteen years ago. Becky laughs it off and brags about winning the Raw Women’s Title in the main event of Wrestlemania. The title is the scalp of the MMA woman and the fight is on. Referees break it up with Bliss and Nikki leaving with their coffees.

Post break Natalya says Becky made it personal when the Women’s Revolution was built off the backs of women like her. She’ll get a beating in Toronto.

Maverick goes to the limo when R-Truth comes up to steal the title again….and leaves in the limo with Maverick’s wife. Carmella is left with Maverick, who eventually realizes his wife is gone.

Braun Strowman vs. Randy Rowe

Strowman: “Don’t blink. This ain’t gonna last long.” Some huge beals set up a huge boot to put Rowe down. Strowman pulls him off the mat for a huge powerbomb and the win at 1:36.

Here are the legends (including Alicia Fox, who I believe was announced as a legend appearing despite being under a regular contract) for the big closing segment. Ric Flair and Hulk Hogan come out to toast Raw, with Hogan getting to give the speech and catchphrases.

With that out of the way, here’s Steve Austin and the coolers are ready in the corners. Austin talks about everything that all the legends have done and how this is all his family. The people in the stands are family and everyone watching the show around the world are part of the WWE family too. Austin talks about doing a podcast with Hulk Hogan today (oh that could be great) and then listening to a bunch of Ric Flair stories all night long.

Then he ordered room service but wasn’t done yet so he went downstairs and ran into Ron Simmons. Austin beat him to the catchphrase and talked to a bunch of other legends earlier. Those legends need to get down here because it’s time for beer drinking and toasting. The music plays but Austin asks if we have some time left. He talks about being in South Africa with Gerry Brisco years ago but then they’re out of time so he hits the catchphrase to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a very different kind of show and that’s exactly the point. They did a great job with the legends as none of them overstayed their welcome and the 24/7 stuff was as good as it could have been. The show flew by for a change and I was wanting to see what was coming up next. Having the matches be so much shorter is helping things a lot, though an actual Summerslam build would be nice at any given time. This was a fun night though and they did it exactly as they should have.

Results

Usos b. Revival – Superfly Splash to Dawson

Viking Raiders b. Curt Hawkins/Zack Ryder – Viking Experience to Hawkins

Roman Reigns b. Samoa Joe – Spear

Seth Rollins b. AJ Styles via DQ when the OC interfered

Rey Mysterio b. Sami Zayn – Frog splash

Braun Strowman b. Randy Rowe – Powerbomb

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

No Way Out 2005
Date: February 20, 2005
Location: Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 9,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This is a different kind of show as there is little doubt about where things are going for Wrestlemania but they’re trying to keep up the pretense of some surprises that could still come. That includes a barbed wire steel cage match with JBL defending the World Title against Big Show and a #1 contenders match between John Cena and Kurt Angle. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the barbed wire cage, which is now as demonic as the Cell. They really need to find a better steel structure manufacturer.

The announcers talk about how Batista is going to be here tonight and could get involved in the main event. As usual, cages mean nothing around here.

Tag Team Titles: Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio vs. Basham Brothers

The Bashams are defending and Eddie joined Rey as a replacement partner for the injured Rob Van Dam. Eddie and Danny start things off with Danny being very proud to have SOD (for Secretary of Defense) on his tights. A takedown brings Danny down and it’s time to crank on the leg a little bit. Rey comes in to work on the arm but gets driven into the corner for the tag off to Doug.

That doesn’t last long either as it’s right back to Eddie to knock Doug outside. Danny comes back in for a crossarm choke as the fans are right behind Eddie, to the surprise of almost no one. Doug pulls Eddie away from the tag and drops some elbows, followed by a powerslam for one as Rey makes a very fast save. A missed elbow allows the tag off to Rey though and a DDT gets two on Doug.

The referee goes to yell at Eddie though and the Bashams make the switch so Rey can get in trouble for a bit. A full nelson into a waistlock keeps Mysterio down and Eddie comes in for a failed save attempt. That just means more choking on Mysterio as the heat segment goes on. Rey finally gets in some elbows and a top rope moonsault press gets two. That’s still not enough to for a tag though and it’s Danny grabbing a chinlock.

Eddie can’t reach for the tag so he goes over to the other corner and unties the tag rope so he can tie it to his own for more length. You can’t say he’s conventional. A reverse powerbomb/faceplant combination gets two on Rey with Eddie coming in for a fast save. Mysterio finally realizes that he’s Rey Mysterio and rolls between both Bashams for the hot tag off to Eddie. The springboard armdrag/headscissors combination gets two on Doug but the champs are right back with a double spinebuster for two of their own.

Eddie gets frustrated and grabs a title but Rey won’t let him go where. Instead Eddie goes back in but has to roll through the frog splash attempt. Doug thinks Eddie crashed though as Eddie lays down, allowing Eddie to get two off a small package. A title gets tossed in to distract the referee so Rey throws Eddie the other belt for a shot to Danny. The 619 takes out Doug and Eddie gets the pin and the titles.

Rating: C+. I liked the match well enough, though it could have gone a few minutes shorter. It says a lot to see the Bashams go from jokes to perfectly competent champions with a simple gimmick. You don’t always have to have some over the top gimmick to make things work and the Bashams having their greatest success as generic heavies is all the proof you need. It’s a good choice for an opener, though with a six match card, there is only so much they could pick from.

Theodore Long is getting things ready for Batista when Carlito comes in, flanked by the wife of a member of the Board of Directors. She is enjoying the show and wants to see Batista get signed to Smackdown. It’s almost time for the next match so she goes back to her seat, leaving Carlito to say that it seems if Long doesn’t sign Batista, he’s out of a job.

Here are Dawn Marie and Torrie Wilson to judge the first round of the Rookie Diva Of The Year contest. Joy Giovanni, Rochelle Lowen, Lauren Jones and Michelle McCool all come out in evening gowns, Torrie thinks they’re all hot, and we’re done.

Heidenreich vs. Booker T.

This was thrown together on Smackdown. Before the match, Heidenreich reads a poem about how he’s not crazy because he has good inside. Booker takes him into the corner to start but a few right hands gets Heidenreich out of trouble. An elbow to the face sends Booker outside as it’s almost all punching and shots to the face so far. Back in and Booker drops him with a superkick for two but Heidenreich hits a hard clothesline.

A keylock doesn’t get Heidenreich very far so he kicks Booker in the face for two more and grabs the hold again. Booker fights up again and drops Heidenreich to a shot to the face so the comeback can start. There’s the Spinarooni but the Book End is broken up. A missed charge sends Heidenreich to the floor, where he comes up with a chair shot for the DQ.

Rating: D. So they had a lame TV level match and then do that ending? After setting the match up three days ago? I know the show isn’t the most important in the world but you really can’t have Booker win off a rollup here? Is anyone wanting this feud to continue? Or for Heidenreich to continue for that matter? Bad match, but what’s worse is that it seems to be continuing.

Post match Heidenreich throws him back in for a cover because he’s not all there.

John Cena congratulates Eddie and Rey on their win but they tell him to go win as well. Eddie wants to talk to Cena on his own and gives him a pep talk for the biggest match of his career. Kurt Angle is a special talent though and has promised to hurt Cena. Eddie believes in Cena though and knows he’ll win. It’s a nice speech, though you can tell they’re trying to drag this out as long as they can.

Cruiserweight Title: Spike Dudley vs. Funaki vs. Akio vs. Paul London vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Shannon Moore

Funaki is defending in what is billed as an elimination match but is really a gauntlet match. Funaki and London start things off and everyone else is standing on the corners for a change of pace. London hits a shoulder but Funaki sweeps the leg for two before realizing that he can’t tag anyone standing at the corner like they would when you could tag someone. Some stomping delays London’s charge into the corner so Funaki can get out of the way and roll London up for two.

Spike gets in a cheap shot from the apron though and London pins Funaki. It’s Spike in third but Funaki superkicks him behind the referee’s back so London can get another pin. Moore is in fourth and rolls London up for some early (Is it still early after two eliminations?) near falls. A Whisper in the Wind misses though and London drops the 450 for another elimination.

Akio is in fifth as they’re flying through this as is the case in most gauntlets. A choke over the ropes gives Akio two and we hit the chinlock. Cole: “Looks like Akio could be trying to choke out Paul London here.” That’s the kind of analysis you can only get around here. Akio switches over to a Kimura before taking London to the top, where a super swinging neckbreaker brings him right back down. The referee starts the ten count and Akio doesn’t make it up for an elimination. When is the last time you saw that one happen? I mean for me it was about four seconds but it might be longer for you.

Chavo goes for some covers on London and gets annoyed that he can kick out after the full seven minute beating. London manages a dragon suplex for two and tries a rollup, only to have Chavo reverse into one of his own. Throw in a grab of the rope and Chavo gets the title back.

Rating: D. I never like gauntlet matches like this one as the falls go so fast and it’s really hard to get your head around the eliminations. If someone can pin one of their opponents in a minute and a half, why do regular matches take so long? It’s not a good way to run a match and they would have been better off having everyone in there going nuts until someone stole a quick pin. Funaki dropping the title is fine as it’s not like he was anything important as champion.

We look back at Batista destroying JBL’s limo on Smackdown and then saving Big Show from a Cabinet beatdown.

We run down the rules of the barbed wire cage match.

Wrestlemania Recall: the Gimmick Battle Royal.

After that awesome moment, it’s time for the second round of the Divas competition, meaning everyone has to be introduced again. This time, it’s a talent competition because of course it is. Joy goes first and since her talent is massage, she asks Torrie to lay down for a rub. Naturally this includes taking off her top and leaning over in a rather short skirt as the massage lasts all of four seconds. Dawn says she can give a better rub than that. Torrie: “And if you don’t believe that, just ask of they guys in the back.”

Rochelle, who is very perky, tells awful jokes so Dawn takes the mic away from her. Lauren dances, meaning more clothes come off. Dawn tells her not to quit her day job because she would starve as a stripper. Michelle goes last and slams Dawn. Much like before, this was quite the waste of time.

JBL shouts about how violent the main event is going to be but he’s going to retain the title and move on to Wrestlemania. His body is temporary but the title is forever. He is the wrestling god.

Luther Reigns vs. Undertaker

Mark Jindrak is here with Reigns, who is NOT scared of Undertaker. Actually never mind as Jindrak is ejected before the match. Undertaker may have a concussion after being hit with a camera on Thursday so Reigns starts with left hands. That just earns him a pull on the arm and Old School into the Downward Spiral for two. Undertaker stops to glare at the referee so Reigns can take the turnbuckle pad off.

Reigns clotheslines him down with another shot to the head, only to get whipped into the exposed buckle (the classic wrestling irony). The apron legdrop keeps Reigns in trouble and he even begs off a bit, which is rare for him. Back in and the referee distraction lets Reigns get in the low blow so he can send Undertaker head first into the exposed buckle. A suplex gives Reigns two as the fans aren’t quite buying Reigns’ offense. Reigns grabs a half crab but stands on Undertaker’s head.

In a move that just looks bad, Reigns stands up while holding the leg like he’s about to turn over for a half crab for some near falls. He’s not even cranking on the leg. Dude at least do something. Undertaker is somehow able to get up from that, tells Reigns to spear him, and then gets taken down by a bad looking spear. Reigns’ swinging neckbreaker is broken up and Undertaker hits a running clothesline in the corner. Snake Eyes doesn’t work for some reason and Undertaker kicks him in the chest for two.

The chokeslam looks to set up the Tombstone but Reigns slips out and hits a reverse DDT (which Cole and Tazz call a swinging neckbreaker several times each). The swinging neckbreaker (for real this time) is broken up and Undertaker grabs a DDT. That’s enough for the Tombstone to finally finish Reigns.

Rating: D-. This was messy, dull, boring, and never in doubt once. Reigns is not working in any way other than standing there and looking intimidating so they keep going with him in this role. Having a muscular lackey is fine but it doesn’t work when he has to wrestle at some point. Undertaker really needs a new opponent because beating up Angle’s goons isn’t working.

Batista still hasn’t arrived.

And now the final Diva round, with Torrie hosting the final round alone. Everyone gets an entrance again (including measurements on a graphic of course). This is the swimsuit round so they all disrobe, the crowd approves and we have to wait on the winner. Joy wins the crowd vote for now. Amazingly enough, Joy wins by a huge margin after being the only contestant pushed on television for months. Another waste of time but with such a small card, it was the best they could do since adding another match or two would have been insanity.

We recap the #1 contenders tournament by looking at each match. The final for the Wrestlemania title shot is tonight.

#1 Contenders Tournament Finals: Kurt Angle vs. John Cena

Non-title and Angle is the hometown boy but Cena gets a bigger pop. A headlock takeover puts Cena down to start and a belly to belly lets Angle grab an arm trap choke. The fans think Angle sucks because he can’t get respect in his home town. Back up and Cena gets his own headlock but Angle takes him down in a hurry and slaps on a front facelock.

They fight outside and Cena tackles him over the announcers’ table, which Cole calls a drive by assault. Given that Cena dove onto Angle and landed on him, I don’t think Cole knows what a drive by, where you DRIVE BY AND NOT INTO someone, means. Angle bails from an FU attempt and it’s time to chill on the floor. Back in and Angle hits a release German suplex into the corner to rock Cena for the first time. A suplex gives Angle a pair of ones and a backbreaker gets two.

The bodyscissors goes on as Angle stays on the ribs. Angle adds a chinlock but that’s just feeding a comeback, meaning Cena fires up and elbows his way to freedom. You don’t do that to Angle though and it’s time to roll some German suplexes. Now it’s a chinlock with a knee in the back to punish Cena for that comeback. Cena doesn’t learn so he fights up again and hits a flying shoulder for the double knockdown. The hard clothesline starts the next comeback so Angle rakes the eyes like a veteran.

Cena on the other hand plants him with a spinebuster like a power guy in need of a hope spot. The ProtoBomb gives Cena two but the broken FU is countered into a belly to belly. Angle’s victory roll into the ankle lock has Cena screaming until he rolls through to send Angle outside. As Angle comes back in, Cena scores with a top rope Fameasser for two and the kickout has Cena surprised. The FU gives Cena a delayed two but he doesn’t realize it at first, allowing Angle to get back up as Cena celebrates. Angle goes right after the knee with some cannonballs and wraps around the post.

There’s the Angle Slam but Angle goes for the ankle lock instead of a cover. As tends to be the case in Angle matches, a grab of the rope doesn’t count and Angle puts on the grapevine. The second rope grab counts but Angle puts it on again. This time Cena crawls up the rope and the ref gets bumped as he pulls Angle forward. Angle is frustrated enough to go grab the chain but Cena breaks it up and hits the FU for the pin to go to Wrestlemania.

Rating: B. They had me worried about a Shawn Michaels run in at the end (the fans were cheering for it) because Cena needed to win this one on his own. He has all the momentum in the world but in this case he needed to win the big match to really validate himself. There is nothing holding him back now and pinning Angle is going to take him a long way as far as making him look legitimate.

Angle is ticked about the loss.

Batista is still not here over two hours into the show.

The cage is lowered.

We recap JBL vs. Big Show. They were both part of a triple threat match at the Royal Rumble but JBL pinned Angle to retain. Therefore, he gets to face Show in a barbed wire cage match so no one can interfere. Batista is hanging over the whole thing too, as he thinks JBL tried to run him over on Raw, sending Batista here to deal with him. There is still a chance that Batista will sign with Smackdown to face JBL at Wrestlemania. Right.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL is defending, there is barbed wire around the top of the ring, and you win by pinfall, submission or escape, though the door will not be an option. Show punches him in the head to start but JBL blocks some rams into the cage. You don’t do that to Show, who hits him in the back a few times, only to have JBL get smart by going after the leg. JBL goes for a climb and quickly realizes that he’s not going anywhere, allowing JBL to pull him back down. A suplex puts JBL down and the slow pace continues.

JBL manages to get up and send him into the cage for the first time for the first busting open. Since JBL still can’t climb out, he comes back down and chokes away with a tag rope. Show doesn’t seem to mind and comes back with a powerbomb to plant JBL. The champ is busted as well so Show sends him into the cage as the fans are just silent for this. JBL gets catapulted (monkey flipped according to Cole) into the cage as the Cabinet comes out for an attempted save.

Long comes out and says not so fast, making me wonder what the point of the barbed wire is if Long is watching the whole time. Orlando Jordan manages to slip JBL some bolt cutters though and a shot to the head drops Show. The Clothesline From JBL gets two so he tries again, only to charge into a chokeslam for two more. A low blow cuts Show down and JBL goes up but Show’s save makes him drop the cutters.

They’re both on top and that means a super chokeslam to send JBL through the ring. Show slowly climbs down and goes for the door, instead of PINNING THE GUY WHO WENT THROUGH A RING. Instead, he breaks the chain off the door and walks out…..but JBL is on the floor because he crawled through the hole in the ring to retain. The camera didn’t show inside the hole after Show got back down on the mat so it was a surprise, but the crowd was already deflated enough when that was announced.

Rating: D. What a perfect way to end such a terrible show. This was horrible with both guys looking bad and the admittedly creative ending being yet another way to let Bradshaw keep the title against all odds. It goes with the whole problem of the last month and a half: we know where the title reign is ending but it takes a lot of trickeration to get us all the way to Wrestlemania. Boring match for the most part too, which made things even worse.

Post match the cage is raised up and Show beats on JBL. The Cabinet runs in for the save but Batista, in his gear, makes the real save. Cena comes out to beat up JBL and gives him a spinebuster off the tech area through part of the set. Batista and Cena are both coming for the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: F+. Angle vs. Cena is quite good but it’s just not enough to save this wretched show. The problem here is the same thing that I’ve mentioned multiple times: nothing on here, aside from Cena vs. Angle, feels like it’s going to matter in a few weeks. Wrestlemania is all but destined to be Cena vs. JBL and Batista vs. HHH, making most of this feel like a waste of time. Throw in the Divas and the post main event segment only being able to drag this show to 2:35 and you can see a lot of the problems.

The other major issue here is how weak the rest of the roster really is. I kept thinking about how annoying it was to have the Divas out there three times instead of a match, but what else could they have put out there? Van Dam is hurt and I don’t think I could take another Kenzo Suzuki or Rene Dupree match. The roster is just so depleted at the moment and a name or two desperately need to come over from Raw to breathe some life into this place. After this terrible show, that can’t come soon enough. Awful pay per view.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: February 17, 2005
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for No Way Out but the big story tonight is going to focus on something for Wrestlemania. Batista is here to deal with JBL, who tried to run him down on Raw. We’re still not sure who Batista is going to face at Wrestlemania but things are getting interesting. In another Wrestlemania story, tonight we’re getting John Cena vs. Booker T. in a semifinal match in the #1 contenders tournament. Oh and there are currently three matches announced for No Way Out so we need to get some stuff set up. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of HHH shoving Batista out of the way of the limo on Monday and Batista saying he was coming here alone tonight.

Opening sequence.

Rey Mysterio vs. Doug Basham

Danny Basham is here with Doug. Before the match, Rey calls out the Bashams for tearing up Rob Van Dam’s knee. Don’t worry though because he has a new partner and they’re coming for the titles on Sunday. Since Rey is bad at keeping secrets, he announces Eddie Guerrero has his new partner, meaning here’s Eddie to even things up. Danny runs him over with some shoulders to start so it’s a springboard armdrag to put Danny down as well.

A chase lets Rey try a 619 to send Danny outside but an argument with Eddie lets Doug get in some cheap shots. Rey’s sitout bulldog is countered into a belly to back suplex and it’s off to a chinlock. Rey pops up and hits the springboard moonsault press for two, drawing Doug up to the apron. Eddie returns the cheating from earlier by tripping Danny, allowing Rey to hit the 619. Dropping the Dime is good for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here to set up Sunday’s title match because they don’t have time to give it much attention. That being said, it helps to have a match ready like this with Eddie being inserted in for what was likely a Van Dam/Mysterio rematch. Rey winning was fine and it was very nice to not have it be a tag loss for the champs here, as tends to be the case far too often.

JBL asks Theodore Long what he’s going to do about Batista but Long says it’s not his fault. That makes JBL think Long was behind the attack on Monday to get the title off of him. Long still doesn’t care because Batista is going to be at No Way Out and then on Monday, Long is going to sign him to Smackdown. JBL threatens lawsuits.

We look at the No Way Out press conference with Long promising that this will be the biggest pay per view in the history of Pittsburgh. I don’t quite buy that but it’s a nice line. There are going to be some Divas competitions, which are destined to make my head hurt.

Chavo Guerrero/Spike Dudley/Akio vs. Funaki/Paul London/Shannon Moore

Preview of a six man elimination match for the Cruiserweight Title on Sunday. Shannon and Akio start things off with Akio grabbing a hammerlock and slapping him in the back of the head. That earns him a spinwheel kick to the face and a double suplex with London helping Moore. Chavo comes in and gets headlocked straight down but Akio’s distraction lets Chavo knock London outside. And hang on as here are the four women in the competition on Sunday with signs to campaign for themselves.

After that completely unnecessary cameo, it’s Akio hammering away on London as the previously scheduled match continues. London fights up and brings in Funaki for a high crossbody to start the house cleaning. Everything breaks down with everyone hitting something until Chavo breaks up Funaki’s tornado DDT. London and Moore hit stereo running flip dives to take out Chavo and Akio, leaving Funaki to superkick Spike for the pin.

Rating: C-. If you ignore the Diva cameos, this was a nice enough six man with a fast pace and energized ending. Funaki losing all but guarantees that he’s losing the title on Sunday. That’s fine as he hasn’t been the most thrilling champion, though he has certainly been trying and that’s always nice to see.

Wrestlemania ad, this time featuring Booker T. and Eddie Guerrero as Samuel L. Jackson and John Travolta from Pulp Fiction. Booker can be quite the intimidating presence, though adding in CAN YOU DIG THAT SUCKA at the end of the Ezekiel verse is a bit questionable. Then they accidentally shoot the guy they’re sent to scare because they’re not very good at their jobs.

Here’s Kurt Angle for his Invitational. Before we get an opponent out here though, he wishes Booker T. and Cena good luck for Sunday. There’s won’t be any rapping, but there will be some tapping. Angle: “Now can you dig that suckers?” Now get the opponent out here.

Kurt Angle vs. Danny Gimondo

I believe that’s Danny Inferno, who wrestled in OVW as a stereotypical guy from New Jersey but says he’s from Cleveland here. Angle goes after the leg to start but gets kicked away. That’s fine with Kurt as it’s the Angle Slam into the ankle lock for the easy win.

#1 Contenders Tournament Semifinals: John Cena vs. Booker T.

Non-title. Cena and Angle have a staredown in the ramp to preview Sunday. Cena in a Cleveland Indians jersey is a very welcome sight. Feeling out process to start with Cena hitting a shoulder and a hiptoss for two. Some right hands in the corner and an elbow to the face give Cena two more, followed by the armbar. Cena’s big clothesline cuts off the comeback and we hit the front facelock.

It’s way too early for the FU though and a standoff takes us to a break. Back with Cena getting two off a snapmare (A snapmare?) and grabbing a chinlock. That’s broken up in a hurry and Booker hits a heck of a superkick to take over. A spinning kick to the face puts Cena down again but he’s right back up with a flapjack. Booker sends him outside and Tazz wants to talk about Cena’s kidney.

Cena walks into a scoop powerslam for two and it’s off to another chinlock. That’s broken up again and Cena hits a flying shoulder to get a breather. The spinebuster takes Cena right back down but the ax kick is countered into the AA. Booker grabs the rope and Booker hits the side kick for two but the Book End is blocked. Cena gets elbowed in the face, which only fires him up enough to hit the AA and advance to No Way Out.

Rating: C+. This story has turned into basically the same thing that happens on Raw: it’s clear that Cena is going on to the World Title match at Wrestlemania so there isn’t much drama to anything Cena, or Batista on Raw, is going to do. That’s not the worst thing in the world either though as Cena is racking up one win after another, which is going to help validate him as the top star on the show. It’s a long road, but it’s a road with the right ending.

Video on last week’s Japan show.

JBL talks to the Cabinet about Batista and mentions that he has fired Amy Weber.

Big Show doesn’t care about Batista showing up because he wants to win the title on Sunday. A barbed wire cage match is unlike anything he’s ever seen but he’s ready to take care of JBL. He doesn’t care if Batista shows up because he’s not getting in. JBL isn’t getting out though, because there is no way out.

Booker runs into Heidenreich, who laughs at him while writing a poem. Booker makes fun of him for being scared of caskets and heavy breathing ensues. There’s your third match announced for No Way Out.

Hall of Fame video, now featuring Roddy Piper.

Nunzio vs. Luther Reigns

Reigns doesn’t waste any time and hits some backbreakers to put Nunzio on the floor early on. A kick to the head rocks Nunzio again and the faceplant neckbreaker completes the squash for Reigns.

Post match Reigns says he isn’t scared of the Undertaker because Undertaker isn’t throwing him off his game. It’s his yard now and if Undertaker wants it back, come take it back.

Undertaker vs. Mark Jindrak

The threat of a big boot scares Reigns off so Jindrak tries to get in a cheap shot, earning himself a toss into the corner. Hang on though as Undertaker needs to go outside and beat Reigns up again, only to miss the big boot on Jindrak. That lets Jindrak take him down into the corner for some choking as I wouldn’t bet on the offense lasting long. A dropkick sets up a chinlock, with Undertaker fighting up without much effort. Undertaker’s running DDT gets two and there’s the chokeslam. The Tombstone is good for the pin.

Rating: D. It’s almost weird seeing Undertaker in such a short match but it’s not strange to see Jindrak lose again. I don’t remember the last time he won a match and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. Reigns is little more than a muscular monster for Undertaker to face before he can do something bigger at Wrestlemania, which is par for the course in February.

Post match, and before the bell is even done ringing, Reigns hits Undertaker in the back of the head with a camera. He’s sitting up before Reigns can even get up the ramp so Reigns knows he’s done on Sunday.

Carlito comes in to see Long, who is not happy to see him. The decision on Long’s future is coming next week, which doesn’t sit well with Carlito. Long doesn’t care because he’s working on signing Batista this Monday. A staredown of two very different looking heads ensues.

No Way Out rundown, now featuring a six match card.

John Cena accuses Josh Matthews of liking boy bands when Angle comes up. They talk about Cena’s first match in the WWE where Angle beat him. Cena is tired of hearing about not belonging here (Angle: “You don’t.”) or not being good enough (Angle: “You’re not.”) or being a punk kid (Angle: “You are.”). Cena knows that he almost had Angle in his debut and on Sunday, Angle is looking at a hungry son of a b**** who is going to Wrestlemania.

JBL and the Cabinet are ready for Batista.

Here are JBL and the Cabinet to address the Batista situation. JBL isn’t someone to try and attack Batista with a car because he’ll face Batista like he has everyone else. If Batista wants some, come get it right now. Oh and Big Show needs to watch if he can put down the pizza. Batista arrives in the parking lot and takes a look at JBL’s limo. He’s not done though and pulls a baseball bat out of his own very nice car.

The limo windows are promptly destroyed and Batista breaks the longhorns with his bare hands. After making sure he looks ok in the side mirror, Batista gets back in his car as the Cabinet runs up the ramp. Batista drives away so here’s Big Show to go after JBL. The Cabinet runs out but here’s Batista again for the save. JBL and the Cabinet bail with a lot of yelling ending the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t a great show as a lot of stuff feels like it doesn’t matter on the way to Wrestlemania. The top two title matches have been known for a long time now but there is only so much that you can do to fill time before you start the actual build to those matches. The rest of the show wasn’t the most thrilling in the world, but the Booker vs. Cena match wasn’t bad and Batista continues to look incredible, even on another show. Then again, none of this matters as next week starts the real build and even though everyone knows what’s coming, the interest goes up because of the big matches.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: February 10, 2005
Location: Saitama Super Arena, Saitama, Japan
Attendance: 18,757
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re over in Japan for the first time in Smackdown history and it’s tournament time. With less than two weeks to go before No Way Out, we need a #1 contender for Wrestlemania so it’s time for a tournament to get us to that point. There are two first round matches tonight and one of them actually seems interested. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Assuming the information is correct, there were about 2,000 more people here than for Monday Night Raw. Rather odd given how stacked Raw was.

Opening sequence.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kenzo Suzuki

Kenzo is booed out of the building and there’s no Hiroko. The EDDIE chants get on Kenzo’s nerves even more so he starts stomping away in the corner. Choking on the mat makes it even worse and a running knee drop gives Kenzo two. We hit the nerve hold as Cole explains the difference between Japanese and American crowds. Eddie fights up with some right hands to the head and the Three Amigos connect. The frog splash finishes Kenzo without much effort.

Rating: D+. And that’s it for Kenzo, at least on Smackdown. He’s one of those guys who never did anything more than make a few footnotes and there isn’t exactly much to remember about him. Other than the period where he wanted Torrie, there was little more to him than “Japanese villain”. You need more than that and Kenzo never got close.

Kurt Angle is ready for Rey Mysterio in the tournament tonight, even though Mark Jindrak didn’t do anything against Mysterio last week. When he wins tonight, he has a path to the finals because Undertaker didn’t win. Reigns doesn’t like Undertaker being treated like something big and special around here. He talks about his time in prison and being in jail for five calendars (Is “year” now on the no list?). After doing all that, he’s not scared of caskets or the Dead Man. Angle: “That’s the intensity that I want.” I just want an Undertaker feud that doesn’t involve someone saying they’re not scared of him.

Tag Team Titles: Mark Jindrak/Luther Reigns vs. Basham Brothers

The Bashams are defending. Doug and Jindrak start things off with the former double legging Jindrak, meaning Angle’s coaching isn’t doing all that well. Reigns gets in a cheap shot from the back and the challengers take over. Jindrak snaps off a suplex and hits the hip swivel….and there’s the gong. The lights go out and Undertaker appears for the beating and the no contest, which isn’t a DQ for no logical reason.

Rating: D. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and was just there to set up Reigns vs. Undertaker at No Way Out. That’s not the worst idea in the world and it’s not like the champs were dead to rites. It’s a nice enough TV angle, albeit one that came after a match that showed how generic these teams are.

Video on the fans loving the show being in Japan and John Cena meeting some of them.

Joy Giovanni is shooting a t-shirt gun. And that’s it.

Kenzo fires up Hiroko for the Kimono match with Torrie Wilson. He rather likes the idea of Hiroko exposing Torrie.

JBL complains to Amy Weber about the barbed wire cage match and promises to do something drastic to Big Show. He pulls out a tranquilizer gun to shoot Show, which will keep him out of the cage match. Amy takes the gun but Orlando Jordan opens the door behind her and JBL gets shot in the neck. After standing up for a second, JBL goes right back down.

Sumo champion Akebono is here again.

Cruiserweight Title: Funaki vs. Chavo Guerrero

Funaki is the home country champion and gets the biggest reaction of his career. They take their time to start and we get a friendly slap of hands. Funaki takes him to the mat and grabs a quickly broken headscissors. The fast paced covers get two each and it’s a standoff. As you might expect, the commentators ignore the match to talk about JBL being shot as Chavo gets in a cheap shot to take over. Some uppercuts have Funaki in trouble and a suplex gets two.

The chinlock and a belly to back suplex get two more on Funaki as the announcers move on to talking about beer in vending machines. It’s off to an Octopus Hold and the fans gasp a bit at seeing Chavo bust it out. That’s broken up and Funaki hits a basement dropkick, followed by a bulldog for two. The tornado DDT is broken up so Funaki’s enziguri gives him another two. Funaki goes up but gets superplexed back down and a backbreaker gets two. Chavo makes the mistake of putting him on top though and the tornado DDT retains the title.

Rating: C+. Well that was a surprise. It’s a good sign that the announcers got into the match as the action was good enough to draw them in. Funaki winning clean is something you probably wouldn’t get today so it’s nice that the company actually used to care about something like this. Nice match too.

Carlito takes credit for Theodore Long not being here when a rather woozy JBL comes in to ask how Carlito’s hair got through customs. Orlando Jordan comes in to check on JBL, who tells him to go take care of the Vanilla Ice rapper. Jordan leaves and JBL yells at an inflatable dinosaur.

Basic Instinct Wrestlemania trailer, with Stacy Keibler implying a special relationship with Trish Stratus. Chris Benoit, Christian and Chris Jericho asking about various matches, including hardcore and mixed tags, is rather amusing, though Stacy tops them by making lingerie pillow fights sound serious. Moolah and Mae Young as the big gag at the end isn’t funny, but the rest was great.

#1 Contenders Tournament Quarterfinals: John Cena vs. Orlando Jordan

Non-title. Before the match, Cena raps about beating up Orlando Jordan to send a message to JBL while making a bunch of OJ Simpson references. Jordan gets in his token offense to start so Cena hits the hiptoss and release fisherman’s suplex to get us out of the rooking wrestling level. Cena charges into a boot in the face and gets clotheslined down, allowing Jordan to start with the boxing punches. The chinlock goes on for a bit, followed by an elbow to Cena’s jaw for two. Cena comes back with the hard clotheslines, throws in a bow, and drops the ProtoBomb. There’s the Shuffle and the FU finishes Jordan in a hurry.

Rating: D. This was a world of difference with Cena’s offense having fire and snap while Jordan….well there’s just nothing good about it. He’s boring, he’s first gear the whole way, there’s nothing that makes him stand out and he’s just a warm body for Cena to beat up. That’s fine for a lackey, but watching him have a match is painful.

Post break the Cabinet can’t find JBL. Tazz: “How do you lose a 6’6 WWE Champion with a cowboy hat?” Completely valid (and unique) question.

Torrie Wilson vs. Hiroko

Kimono match, which is the same as an evening gown match. Well, with a different kind of clothing but you get the idea. Hiroko throws salt in the eyes to start but her kicks to the ribs are cut off by a clothesline. Torrie’s kimono gets pulled up so she hits a shoulder in the corner and grabs an airplane spin. Hiroko gets stripped to give Torrie the win. This is every version of the match you’ve ever seen.

Torrie strips as a bonus. As she is leaving, here’s JBL with the dinosaur. He tries to throw it in the ring but it falls backwards onto him in a funny bit. Post break JBL has it in his ring and accuses it of being a lizard on “stee-roids.” JBL: “You’re like Barry Bonds. I bet you play baseball.” As he continues to sound completely out of it (as he should), JBL talks about how it’s just a dinosaur like Big Show (JBL: “His name is Barney. He likes pizza.”). JBL stands for Just Beat A Lizard and the dinosaur falls forward.

The jacket and tie come off and JBL threatens the dinosaur for disrespecting him. He is NOT scared and wants a fight as Cole calls this embarrassing for the champ. There go JBL’s shirt and pants, revealing pink underwear. Cue Big Show, just as JBL decides the dinosaur is a dragon. JBL slugs away and hits the Clothesline, drawing out the Cabinet for the big beatdown as JBL is fine. So it was all a ruse. A chair to Show’s hand misses and Show cleans house without much trouble. That’s making it a lot more complicated than it needed to be. I guess “jump him in the back with a bunch of chairs” was too complicated?

JBL was very funny here and that’s something that people often forget about his title reign. His time as champion seems to be remembered as doing the same things over and over again with nothing ever changing. While that might be the case during most of his matches, JBL did some very good comedy in there and it was really entertaining stuff a lot of the time, like this right here.

During the break, Show talked about how much he could hurt people with no trouble and promised to do that at No Way Out. That brings him to Akebono, who knows what it’s like to be this size. If Akebono is a grand champion, he can get in the ring and prove it right now. Akebono does just that and while he isn’t as tall as Show, he’s certainly wider in girth. They shake hands and Show raises his hand. Well that was anticlimactic, which is probably the best thing right now.

No Way Out rundown, with two matches (cage, Reigns vs. Undertaker) announced for the show, which is in ten days.

Angle tells Mysterio to not get his hopes up, which Rey interprets as Angle not respecting him. The joke will be on Angle tonight.

Video on the Japanese tour, with JBL saying there is no language barrier.

#1 Contenders Tournament Quarterfinals: Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle

This is really a semifinals match as the winner gets a spot in the finals. No springboard entrance for Rey here. Mysterio gets nowhere on a wrestling attempt so it’s time to rethink the strategy. Angle grabs the arm and then a waistlock so Rey elbows his way out. Rey tries to run so Angle knees him in the ribs for the easy cut off. Back up and Rey gets smart with a headscissors but it’s too early for the 619.

That means another standoff before Angle headlocks Rey down for some control. Rey slips out again and hits a basement dropkick, setting up the ten right hands in the corner with the fans counting in English. The quick belly to belly gets Angle out of trouble though and we take a break. Back with Angle fighting out of a chinlock and sending Angle outside, meaning it’s time for a dive. Since Angle isn’t quite human, he’s right back with a German suplex and a backbreaker for two.

Some knees to the back have Rey in more trouble and Angle takes him down for some rolling near falls. Angle ties him in the Tree of Woe, which does not seem cool with the fans. A charge goes into the post though and Rey has a bit of a breather. The springboard seated senton rocks Angle but he’s right back with a hard clothesline. Rey knocks him into the ropes for the 619 but the West Coast Pop is blocked. A standing hurricanrana gives Rey two but the sitout bulldog is countered into the Angle Slam. There’s the ankle lock and Rey taps.

Rating: B. Like this was going to be anything other than good. These two have always had chemistry together and this match told a rather awesome story. Angle was aggressive throughout with Rey getting in his high risk spots where he could, only to get caught in the big moves at the end. Angle winning sets up a big match for Cena in the finals and that’s what matters in the end.

Here are the updated brackets:

Kurt Angle

BYE

Booker T.

John Cena

Overall Rating: C. Raw was way better, but this was a fun show as well with the main event helping out quite a bit. JBL was a nice bit of humor in the middle as well and there were enough good moments throughout to make the show entertaining. No Way Out should wrap up smoothly enough (once we get a card that is) and then it’s on to Wrestlemania, where everything can finally change. This wasn’t Raw, but it was an acceptable alternative.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: February 3, 2005
Location: HP Pavilion, San Jose, California
Attendance: 9,200
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s always nice to see a birthday show. This was taped after Raw on Monday so the fans are going to be a little more worn out than usual. We’re coming off of the Royal Rumble where JBL retained the World Title, but now he has a barbed wire cage match with Big Show. Oh and John Cena, who was the runner up in the Rumble and clearly the next top challenger. Let’s get to it.

Here are Sunday’s results if you need a recap.

We’re not wasting time this week as here’s Cena, with a censored hat, to open things up. Cena talks about this being a chain gang town before talking about being controversial. He references the hat (looked like the Ruck Fules hat) being controversial and throws it into the crowd. Since he’s always involved in controversy, it makes sense that he was in the end of a controversial Royal Rumble. That’s in the past though because Batista was the winner. Cena wants him to come to Smackdown because the champ is here.

Instead, here’s Theodore Long for a chat. There is a chance that Batista is coming to Smackdown but just in case he doesn’t, the WWE Champion will need a #1 contender. Therefore, tonight we’re starting an eight man #1 contenders tournament. If Batista comes over anyway, the title match will be a triple threat. Cue a ticked off JBL to say that the champ is here now. JBL yells at Long about the cage match and takes credit for all of Smackdown’s success. AND DON’T CALL HIM DAWG.

Long says the tournament is still on and next week it’s Orlando Jordan vs. John Cena in at first round match. JBL: “You didn’t tell me Orlando was in it!” Long: “You wouldn’t shut up!” As for Cena, it’s too bad that he doesn’t make it beyond the first round but he doesn’t deserve it anyway. The fans tell JBL to shut up but he goes on about how Cena will never get a WWE Title shot because he isn’t in JBL’s league. Jordan charges at Cena and gets thrown to the floor, followed by an FU to JBL. Just in case you needed to wonder who was winning the tournament.

Here’s Kurt Angle for the Invitational, but first he talks about how much fun it was to beat up Shawn Michaels at the Royal Rumble. He stopped the Showstopper and made Shawn suffer so it was a good night. Next week his Road to Wrestlemania begins with a first round match in the tournament. As for tonight though, here’s the hometown challenger.

Kurt Angle vs. Nunzio

Nunzio says he told the other kid to stay in the back because he wants revenge for Angle taking his spot. Angle is so intimidated that he pulls his straps back up before taking Nunzio down by the arm. Another takedown is reversed into a rollup to give Nunzio two and now Angle is annoyed. The first suplex sets up the ankle lock and the grapevine makes Nunzio tap in a hurry.

Video on WWE coming to Japan.

Angle is pleased with his win and is ready to face Mysterio next week. Then he finds out that his second round opponent could be the Undertaker, meaning it’s time to talk strategy with Luther Reigns.

Carlito tells Long that he has sent in the petition, meaning Long will be in Connecticut next week, explaining his actions to the Board of Directors.

Rey Mysterio vs. Mark Jindrak

Mysterio crawls between the legs a few times to start and makes Jindrak charge into some boots in the corner. Possibly inspired by Rey, Jindrak hits a boot of his own (the left leg for a weird sight) but has to block the 619. A hard whip into the corner has Rey down again and we hit the chinlock.

One heck of a left hand gives Jindrak two and we hit the hip swivel. That means a takedown and basement dropkick into the springboard seated senton for two. Jindrak grabs a pop up backbreaker for two but Mysterio starts kicking at the leg. Another dropkick sets up the 619 but the West Coast Pop misses. That’s fine with Rey as it’s a headscissors into the corner, setting up a rollup to finish Jindrak.

Rating: C. Better than I was expecting here as Jindrak’s athleticism was on at least half display here. Mysterio was looking rather crisp here as well with someone different to work against. Having Mysterio beat one of Angle’s lackeys makes sense as a way to set up next week’s tournament match too.

Amy Weber gives Joy Giovanni a $200 dry cleaning bill for ruining her dress last week. If Joy doesn’t pay, the Bashams will make Big Show pay instead.

Wrestlemania Eugene/Forrest Gump ad.

Basham Brothers vs. Big Show

Show chops and tosses Danny to start so Doug tries his luck instead. Show throws him around too but charges into some boots in the corner. A high crossbody gives Danny two and Doug hammers away in the corner to some avail. Danny tries to bring in a chair but it gets punched into his head. The chokeslam finishes Doug.

Rating: D. This wasn’t as bad as Batista squashing the stuffing out of La Resistance but it wasn’t much better. Big Show was never in any danger here and he beat up the champs in short order. It’s not like the titles are strong in the first place so why have them lose like this? Get jobbers, get another team, have Show fight them one at a time. Just don’t have him beat them up this badly.

We get the announcement of some of the Hall of Fame Class of 2005:

Paul Orndorff

Iron Sheik

Nikolai Volkoff

Bob Orton

Jimmy Hart

Not a bad class, but it needs the big name.

Here are the tournament brackets:

Rey Mysterio

Kurt Angle

Undertaker

Rene Dupree

Orlando Jordan

John Cena

Booker T.

Eddie Guerrero

#1 Contenders Tournament Quarterfinals: Rene Dupree vs. Undertaker

Undertaker headlocks him to start as the announcers talk about writing on trunks. As Tazz decides that Cole’s trunks would say Pony Pants, here are Luther Reigns and Mark Jindrak to watch from ringside. We take a break and come back with Undertaker working on the arm, setting up Old School. Dupree manages to send him outside though and a bit of dancing distracts the referee long enough for Jindrak and Reigns to stomp away. An ax handle off the apron is countered into a ram into the post though and the apron legdrop connects.

The running big boot in the corner misses though and Dupree starts in on the leg. A scoop powerslam sets up the French Tickler but Undertaker sits up. Undertaker’s running DDT sets up the triangle choke but he has to go after Jindrak and Reigns instead. Dupree falls outside as Undertaker beats the other two up. Reigns grabs Undertaker’s leg to keep him from getting back inside though and it’s a double countout.

Rating: D+. You know, this felt like a match that should have been boring but Dupree gave it everything he had and got as much out of it as possible. There is only so much you can do to make Undertaker vs. Dupree believable and they came as close as they could to making it work. The downside though: Undertaker vs. Jindrak/Reigns.

Big Show is looking forward to destroying JBL at No Way Out because JBL is right where he wants him. He’d love to face Batista at Wrestlemania.

Booker T. isn’t happy with Eddie Guerrero for eliminating him from the Royal Rumble. He can make up for it by advancing in the tournament though.

New Wrestlemania ad with HHH as Braveheart. Ric Flair pops up at the end to pull a donkey.

#1 Contenders Tournament Quarterfinals: Eddie Guerrero vs. Booker T.

Cole: “Who will be brave of heart in this next match?” They take their time to start with Booker being kicked away from the leg. Eddie suplexes his way out of a headlock and grabs one of his own as they seem to have a lot of time here. A suplex gets Booker out of trouble as well and we hit the chinlock. Booker gets two off an elbow to the jaw but walks into a flapjack. It’s way too early for the frog splash though and we take a break with Booker rolling to the floor.

Back with Eddie hitting the slingshot hilo but getting caught on top with a superplex. A top wristlock is broken up with Booker being sent head first into the buckle so it’s a sleeper to keep Eddie in trouble instead. Eddie fights up but misses a charge to send him crashing outside in a heap. Booker sends him into the steps and grabs the Book End back inside but Eddie gets a foot on the rope.

The comeback is on with some dropkicks and Three Amigos but the frog splash misses. The referee gets kicked down and Booker’s ax kick gets a very delayed two. Eddie shoves Booker into the referee for a second bump before dropping to the mat, clutching his knee. Booker yells at the referee but smiles because he knows what Eddie is doing. Eddie’s suplex is countered into a rollup with tights to give Booker the pin.

Rating: C+. This one took some time to get going and they were going slowly, but it was the kind of slowly that helped a lot when they got to the more intense parts at the end. The ending was rather nice too as I love when a wrestler thinks during a match. Booker was smart here and that’s not something you get enough of in wrestling. He was smart enough to know exactly what Eddie was doing and caught him using his own game.

Overall Rating: D+. They’re not hiding the fact that Cena is the next guy but it’s going to take some time to get there. No Way Out is kind of a necessary evil at this point as the show isn’t going to mean anything but it would be far too much waiting around to build Cena vs. JBL. That’s where we’re going, but it’s going to take some time to get there, which isn’t the worst thing in the world.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: January 27, 2005
Location: Alltel Arena, Little Rock, Arkansas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for the Royal Rumble and that means more polishing up John Cena for either winning the Royal Rumble or getting the next big title shot after the show. Other than that, we have a rather spiffy three way feud for the World Title, which is a lot better than I was expecting. Maybe they can even continue it as we get through the final show. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the three way feud between Kurt Angle, Big Show and WWE Champion JBL, which has mainly been focused on Joy Giovanni and Amy Weber. Last week, Angle and JBL teamed up to take out Big Show’s knee. In quite the surprise, the two of them haven’t dragged the feud down and have played their roles rather well.

JBL, Angle and their respective cronies are happy with what they did last week. Tonight, they’re going to do it again when they take down Booker T., Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio in a six man tag. Well Luther Reigns, Mark Jindrak and Orlando Jordan will that is. JBL: “United we stand, divided they fall.”

Orlando Jordan/Mark Jindrak/Luther Reigns vs. Rey Mysterio/Eddie Guerrero/Booker T.

One of these teams is very talented. I’ll let you figure out which is which. Booker and Jindrak get things going but the fans want Eddie. A clothesline takes Jindrak down and it’s Eddie coming in with the slingshot hilo. Rey adds the springboard dropkick for two but Jindrak takes him into the corner. Jordan comes in and gets caught with a springboard crossbody as the pathetic lackeys can’t keep anything going.

A backdrop cuts Jordan off and Booker comes in for the Big Apple Blast (Hart Attack with a side kick instead of a clot). Everything breaks down for a few seconds and it’s Rey being thrown over the top and down onto Eddie as we take a break. Back with Booker hitting the Book End on Jordan and bringing Mysterio back in. A dropkick sends Jordan into the corner but Jindrak saves Jordan from the Bronco Buster. Reigns and Jordan get in an argument over who gets to beat up Mysterio but Jordan is fine enough to get two off a backbreaker.

It’s off to Jindrak for a chinlock until a Booker distraction lets Eddie sneak in with a poke to the eye. That’s not enough for the tag though as Jordan comes back in for a neck crank. Rey breaks out and crawls through some legs before sending the villains into each other. The hot tag brings Eddie in and the fans are rather pleased. Everything breaks down and it’s a 619 to Jindrak. The ax kick into the frog splash is good for the pin.

Rating: C-. The parade of chinlocks was a little much but the last minute and a half picked things up a lot with Mysterio knowing how to get a crowd going. The coalition style team isn’t going to work in the end and it’s even worse when they’re against a team with that much talent. Cut out a few minutes in the middle and this could have been rather good.

Post match Reigns shoves Jordan down and blames him for the loss. The Bashams come out to break things up. Angle and JBL come out as well and we take a break. Back with JBL blaming Angle for everything but Kurt says it was Jordan’s fault for being a bad deputy. JBL needs a cabinet because he’s the champion, which Angle will never be again. Angle says he was winning championships when JBL was getting drunk at frat parties.

JBL is one ankle lock away from being the cowboy in the bar, which sends JBL into a rant about Bill Clinton. Threats are made but here’s Theodore Long (in a salmon jacket) to interrupt. It turns out that Big Show is healthy enough for Sunday, but Long is interested in Angle talking about being the last man standing. That’s why tonight it’s JBL vs. Angle in a Last Man Standing match.

Clip of the Steve Austin press conference.

Video on Heidenreich vs. Undertaker for Sunday’s Casket match.

US Title: John Cena vs. Kenzo Suzuki

Cena is defending and hammers away to start as I don’t see this being the most competitive match. They head outside with Cena sending Suzuki into the post as this is complete dominance so far. Cena drives him back first into the announcers’ table before channeling his inner Rock by doing his own commentary. Back in and Kenzo finally sends him into the corner for a breather….which lasts all of five seconds before Cena is back with some chops. Cena initiates the finishing sequence and ends Kenzo with the FU.

Rating: D+. Cena might as well have been facing the Brooklyn Brawler here, which has been the case with just about anyone he’s been facing as of late. That triple threat feud on top of the card is leaving Cena without anything interesting to do but at least they’re not making these matches longer than they need to. Bring on the Rumble.

Post match Cena says that’s momentum and tonight, Suzuki ran into the Chain Gang. That’s what’s going to happen to twenty nine people on Sunday. Cena wants to know who is in the Rumble and mentions a fan in a certain seat, which happens to be a kid. Cena: “Little man, if you was in the Rumble, we would all whip your a**!” With that threat to a minor out of the way, Cena wraps things up.

Eddie and Rey are celebrating their victory and laughing when Booker comes in. He’s not happy with not being invited but calms down a bit as they praise him for his part earlier tonight. Booker gets on Eddie for costing them the titles last week but Eddie talks about the Rumble, which he could win. The other two don’t see it that way and Rey tells him to sit down. They both think they could win and won’t trust Eddie on Sunday. This was a perfectly nice character building segment and I could go for a lot more of those.

Here’s Heidenreich for a chat because that match needs two segments. He has a poem for us but stops in a hurry because a fan has a mini casket with a picture of Heidenreich inside. After breaking that apart, he gets through his poem, which is about his greatest battle. As he talks, he starts foaming at the mouth and shouts NO CASKET. Can we please get rid of this goon already?

Angle goes to Long’s office but Long comes outside for some reason. The main event tonight is unfair but Long sees it differently. Maybe Angle is just scared of JBL? The match is still on.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Spike Dudley vs. Paul London vs. Shannon Moore vs. Funaki

Non-title and one fall to a finish. Funaki knocks Spike off the apron at the bell and it’s time for the very early rollups. Shannon gets thrown outside and Spike gets two off a belly to back to Funaki. London knees Spike in the face for the same but Spike is right back with a half Walls of Jericho.

The other two make the save as Tazz talks about Moore’s makeup. Funaki pulls London off the corner and sends him outside for a nasty looking crash. Spike’s running headbutt to Funaki’s ribs gets two with Shannon making the save. Spike knocks Moore outside but gets caught in a reverse tornado DDT. London is back up and shoves Moore and Funaki off the top, setting up a 450 to Spike for the surprise pin.

Rating: C. As usual, what are you supposed to do with four and a half minutes in a four way match? London winning was a nice surprise and it’s not like Funaki is hurt by a loss like this. If nothing else for the sake of letting him have a big bump during his elimination, which he does as well as anyone else.

After blowing off Carlito’s request for a petition signature, JBL goes to ask Long about getting the match canceled. This time Long just slams the door in his face, which is enough to make JBL sign.

ANOTHER video on Heidenreich vs. Undertaker.

Amy Weber comes up to the rest of the women in the locker room. Dawn Marie takes obsession to Amy snapping her fingers but listens to her pitch to sign Carlito’s petition. Joy isn’t there but Amy is NOT scared to ask her. Joy comes up from behind with some yogurt. The obvious happens.

Royal Rumble rundown.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Kurt Angle

Non-title Last Man Standing match. Reigns, Jindrak, Jordan and the Bashams are at ringside. We’re joined in progress with Angle taking JBL down but JBL runs him over and drops an elbow for….well nothing because that’s not how this match works. Kurt goes for the arm so JBL powers out and chops away in the corner. The fall away slam gives JBL a five count and a top rope superplex is good for nine.

The Clothesline From JBL is countered into the ankle lock to make JBL tap but thankfully Angle is smart enough to not let it go. Instead the Bashams break it up and the fight is on outside. Despite them not breaking any rules, the referee ejects everyone and we take a break. Back with Angle going face first into the steps as things have turned into more of a brawl, which makes sense for something like this.

JBL whips him over the announcers’ table but spends too much time clearing it off, allowing Angle to dive off and get a breather. Angle backdrops his way to freedom but can’t get the Angle Slam through the table. Instead JBL posts him for a nine count (took thirty seconds) and gets annoyed when Angle gets up. Back in and Angle rolls the German suplexes, hitting a ridiculous eight in a row before letting go.

JBL gets up again so Angle grabs a rear naked choke. That’s still not enough so Angle tries a front facelock, which is reversed into a spinebuster (makes sense as JBL couldn’t do much more than pick him up and drop him). The powerbomb plants Angle for nine but he’s right back with the Angle Slam.

That’s another nine and JBL blasts him with the Clothesline. They’re both up at nine and the exhausted/near defeated look on JBL’s face is a great visual. With nothing else working, JBL grabs a chair but Angle takes it away. JBL kicks it into his face but Angle blasts him in the head before collapsing, meaning it’s a double ten count for the draw.

Rating: B. I know all of the focus is on the Rumble and Batista/Cena, but this is a really underrated feud, especially with Big Show thrown in. There’s a rather nice chemistry there and the story is actually making me want to see more. I know everything goes away as soon as Sunday is over, but they deserve a good deal of credit for a story that has no reason to be this interesting. The match itself was a good brawl with both guys beating each other up and the logical finish of a draw. As usual, JBL is better off working a power brawling style and Angle can play off of that all day long.

We cut to Long’s office where he thanks Big Show for the idea for the match. Show says he loves it when a plan comes together and promises to win on Sunday.

Overall Rating: B-. It’s good that we’re moving on soon enough because this holding pattern has been going on for a while now. That being said, it’s been a rather nice holding pattern with a shockingly good World Title feud and Cena oozing star power. They’ve set things up very well and Cena can get his title shot either by winning the Rumble or whatever else he has to do at No Way Out. This was an enjoyable show and they’re hitting the right notes at the correct time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: January 20, 2005
Location: Bell Centre, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s time to get ready for the Royal Rumble and so far that means focusing on the Smackdown World Title match. JBL, Kurt Angle and Big Show have been playing mind games with each other and I don’t see that ending well. Other than that, John Cena is still looking for anything to fill his time before he can get to the World Title scene. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s issues between everyone involved in Joy Giovanni’s disappearance, which was one of the most entertaining things they’ve done in a good while. Kurt Angle and company were behind the whole thing and that is likely going to have some repercussions this week.

Theodore Long is in the ring to open things up. He talks about what Angle did last week and promises that Angle will face the music tonight. Angle isn’t here yet, but when he arrives, it’s time for an official apology to Joy Giovanni, all by himself. Otherwise, he is out of the title shot at the Royal Rumble and won’t get another title shot this year. Now holla holla holla.

Tag Team Titles: Bashams vs. Eddie Guerrero/Booker T.

The Bashams are defending and has Orlando Jordan here with them. Doug takes Booker into the corner to start so Booker clotheslines him right back. Eddie comes in to a rather nice reaction and stomps away in the corner. The slingshot hilo hits and it’s time to start on the arm. Booker’s spinning kick to the face gets one and Eddie goes very old school with an airplane spin. Eddie is so dizzy that he staggers into the corner for a poke to Danny’s eyes.

Back to back planchas to the floor keep the champs down and we take a break. Back with Doug STILL in trouble to continue the rather long beatdown segment. A suplex finally gets Doug a breather and it’s off to Danny for some fresh Basham. Booker comes in and the champs do a very fast twin switch, which would seem to be a rather bad idea. The cheap shot lets Doug take Booker down and it’s back to Danny for some choking on the apron.

Danny grabs a seated full nelson and then gets two off a powerslam. The hold goes back on and Eddie gets yelled at for not holding the tag rope. In a rather brilliant move, Eddie unties the rope and holds onto it as he walks down the apron, though it doesn’t matter as Danny puts on the third full nelson in the span of a few minutes. A regular chinlock changes the pace a bit and that’s enough to trigger the comeback, including a spinebuster to drop Danny.

It’s Eddie coming back in and hitting the rope walk wristdrag/headscissors combination to the champs. Three Amigos have Doug in trouble so Eddie brings Orlando in for a bonus. The distraction lets Doug bring in a title but Eddie knocks it away and hits Doug with it….as the referee turns around. He SWEARS that he didn’t do it but that’s a DQ anyway.

Rating: C-. The long stretch of holds in the middle hurt it a lot but this got some time and was allowed to develop a bit. The Bashams are fine champions at the moment and a team can be built up to take them away in time. Eddie vs. Booker seems to be building as well and that could be a rather nice feud.

Post match Booker yells at Eddie, who walks out on him instead. Danny and Jordan jump Booker and Eddie makes a somewhat delayed save. A scissors kick into the frog splash takes care of Orlando.

JBL is upset over Jordan but Amy reminds him that the Bashams retained the title. Josh Matthews comes in so JBL can talk about some things he’s done in his life. Those things were a matter of doing business though and what Angle did crossed the line. Tonight, Angle will pay. I hope he gets a receipt.

Big Show and an upset Joy Giovanni are waiting on Angle. Show doesn’t think this is the place for her so she leaves.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Akio vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

This is Scotty’s return after having a benign tumor removed. Akio gets aggressive to start and stomps away but Scotty armdrags him into an armbar. They head outside with Akio sending him back first into the apron and grabbing his own armbar. A suplex gets two as the cameras stay close to avoid showing the large number of empty seats during this match. The abdominal stretch has Scotty in more trouble and a belly to back plants him again. Akio Time (corkscrew moonsault) misses and the Worm gives Scotty the pin.

Rating: D+. They were trying but there’s nothing you can do with two cruiserweight job guys fighting to be cannon fodder in the Rumble. The Worm still gets a reaction but other than some dancing, Scotty doesn’t have much more than that. Akio was aggressive here and it was one of his better performances.

John Cena is all fired up for the Royal Rumble because it’s about the movement. If you want some, come get some. Not much to say this week.

Steve Austin had a press conference on Wednesday. This show is airing on Thursday so tune in Monday to find out what he said!

Theodore Long tells Big Show that he can’t attack Angle until the apology takes place. Show isn’t convinced.

Here’s Carlito with his petition and he gets some signatures on the way to the ring. He promises to keep collecting signatures but here’s Heidenreich of all people to interrupt. Heidenreich actually signs as well because Long is forcing him into a casket match. He’s not scared of Undertaker but he doesn’t like caskets, so he’ll do anything to get out of that match. The lights go out and Undertaker appears on screen, promising to introduce Heidenreich to a casket. There’s a casket in front of him and Heidenreich is inside. This story can gladly end anytime. Like, say before we have to watch them fight again.

Lauren and Rochelle arrive and Show nearly hits them with a chair.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: John Cena vs. Rene Dupree

Non-title. Rene shoulders him down to start and throws in his own You Can’t See Me. A much harder shoulder puts Rene on the floor and the fans are rather pleased. Cena spends a bit too much time high fiving a fan and walks into a dropkick. Back in and a clothesline connects as the announcers try to figure out what Rene’s trunks say.

The chinlock goes on for a bit as Tazz is confused why Rene isn’t the hometown favorite. Cena comes back with clotheslines and elbows for two, followed by the ProtoBomb for the same. The Shuffle actually misses, so Cena hits a DDT and then the Shuffle connects. The FU sends Cena tot he Rumble.

Rating: D+. I know I say this every week but Cena has nothing to do at the moment until we get to the Rumble because no one in the midcard can touch him. We’re just waiting to get him to the main event scene where he belongs, and having him beat up Rene one week and Kenzo Suzuki the next isn’t the most interesting thing in the world.

Post match here’s Kenzo to jump Cena, likely setting up one more match between the two of them next week.

Royal Rumble rundown.

JBL comes up to Big Show and offers to help him deal with Angle tonight. After the apology, they can beat him up. Show doesn’t say no.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

They lock hands to start with Chavo monkey flipping him over, leading to a standoff. A reverse powerbomb plants Rey and Chavo gets to talk a little trash. Rey sends him to the apron though and it’s a springboard Stunner to put Chavo on the floor as we take a break. Back with Rey getting caught in the chinlock, which is a little better than coming back to the chinlock. Chavo starts kicking at the knee but Rey kicks him in the chest, followed by a springboard moonsault.

It’s right back to Rey’s knee though but Chavo switches to an armbar for some reason. Chavo dives into raised boots and falls into 619 position but thankfully stands up so Rey can get two off a basement dropkick. A faceplant gives Chavo two of his own with Rey putting his foot on the rope. Rey tries a running headscissors but gets planted with a reverse powerbomb for two as the fans are VERY impressed. Another headscissors works better for Rey though, meaning it’s the 619 into the springboard splash for the pin.

Rating: B-. Well of course these two are capable of having a good match. That almost always seems to be the case and I’m not surprised in the slightest. Rey winning was the mostly obvious ending but Chavo was trying here, giving us one of the better Smackdown matches in recent memory.

Raw Rebound.

Next week: Kenzo gets another US Title shot.

Here’s a scared looking Kurt Angle coming through the crowd. After a break, he calls out Joy for the apology. Joy comes out and Angle reads an apology, blaming last week on his overly competitive spirit. Any pain and suffering was unintentional….and here’s Big Show. Once Show is in the ring, Angle bails to the floor because they can settle this at the Rumble. Cue JBL and the Cabinet to threaten Angle, followed by a handshake. Angle calls out Jindrak and Reigns so Show is down 7-1. Cole, after the handshake and smile: “Have JBL and Angle joined forces here?”

It’s the classic villain strategy of sending one or two people at a time before the villains wake up and rush Show at the same time. Show fights them off and even no sells a low blow from Jordan. The Angle Slam takes him down though and JBL chairs him in the head. JBL and Angle take turns hitting Show in his busted head and a great looking shot with the steps put Show on the floor to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The transitional phase continues as we slowly crawl towards Cena getting into the main event picture and having no one to touch him until then. At the same time though, Big Show, Angle and JBL are giving it all they have in the title feud and it’s working far better than I would have expected. The women are adding in enough of a difference that the story is working and I’m wanting to see the title match. The wrestling tonight wasn’t very good, but I’m digging the show enough at the moment. Things are building towards Cena at the Rumble though and there’s no need to try and hide it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: January 6, 2005
Location: Mohegan Sun, Uncasville, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re in a new year and it’s time to start building towards the Royal Rumble, featuring another Undertaker vs. Heidenreich match. I’m not sure why anyone would be looking forward to that but hopefully it wraps up their feud once and for all. Other than that, John Cena is looking like the star of stars and I’m thinking that has some potential. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Fallout from last week’s Tag Team Title match. Rey brings out the 619 Cam but Eddie steals it for some filming of guest timekeeper Joy Giovanni. We get started with Rey snapping off a headscissors but getting caught in a test of strength. That’s broken up with Rey climbing onto Eddie’s back for two off a sunset flip, meaning it’s an early standoff. Back up and it’s another headscissors to rattle Eddie some more.

Rey charges again but this time he gets faceplanted down, setting up an armbar on the right (not left Cole) arm. The hammerlock goes on for a good bit until Rey makes the rope, with Eddie not letting go immediately. Rey tries a moonsault but gets caught in the Tree of Woe for a dropkick to the ribs. Eddie misses a charge though and crotches himself against the post as we take a break.

Back with Rey holding something like an abdominal stretch on the mat before switching to an armbar. An exchange of sleepers goes to Rey, followed by a springboard armdrag. Rey gets two off a Lionsault and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up so Rey dropkicks him into the ropes, only to miss the 619. Eddie chills in the corner so Rey tries a Bronco Buster, which is blocked with a raised boot.

It was NOT a low blow though (Eddie promises) so Rey takes him up top but the hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb. A missed charge bumps the referee though and Eddie has an idea. It’s the old grab the title spot so he throws it to Rey….who throws it right back and drops down as the referee gets up.

Eddie crawls around on his stomach to hide the title and INSISTS that he did not use the belt. He tries to crawl over and throw it away but gets caught, giving us a hilarious look on his face. Rey cracks up and Eddie tries to convince the referee that it means Rey did it. That’s almost a double DQ but Eddie’s begging keeps the match going….and lets Rey small package him for the pin.

Rating: B-. Well of course these two had a fun match, but the ending was hysterical with Eddie going so over the top when he had no idea what to do in the situation. His NO and HE’S LAUGHING got some actual laughter and they did it for the right reason. How often do you get that in wrestling?

Post match Rey shakes an unenthusiastic Eddie’s hand.

Heidenreich thanks Paul Heyman for coming to help him with the casket stipulation. For some reason, Heyman is treated like a big reveal here and isn’t shown until a little bit into Heidenreich’s speech. Heyman promises to fix things.

Cruiserweight Title: Funaki vs. Akio

Funaki is defending and Carlito, with his petition, is on commentary. Hang on actually as Carlito gets a signature from the cameraman and some fans. Funaki starts fast with an armdrag to send Akio outside, followed by some rollups for two each. Carlito isn’t done though and even gets inside, asking the referee and wrestlers for signatures.

With Carlito sent outside (sans signatures), it’s time to get some security guards to sign. Akio’s enziguri gets two and it’s off to a quickly broken armbar. Funaki hits a bulldog for two as Carlito is asking more fans for signatures. Akio misses a corkscrew moonsault and gets DDTed off the middle rope for the pin.

Rating: D. What were you expecting here? This was all about Carlito’s deal and does very little to make me want to see the cruiserweights for the time being. You can’t put a squash match in there instead of a title match? Hopefully they don’t do any more of this stuff, or at least not in a match that should matter.

Post match Joy won’t sign so Carlito spits apple on her. I do not find this to be cool.

Heyman and Heidenreich try to talk Long out of the casket match at the Royal Rumble. Violence seems to be threatened so Long gives Heidenreich an offer: If he can beat Undertaker tonight, he gets to pick a new stipulation. Oh and we’ll make it a handicap match with Heyman involved. Heyman: “ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND???”

Kurt Angle meets with Luther Reigns and Mark Jindrak but Amy Weber comes in and wants to talk to him in private. She offers him her services, which Angle sees as her hedging her bets. Personal relations are implied and Angle seems rather happy.

Here’s Angle for the Kurt Angle Invitational and he’s feeling like he’s up for a gamble tonight. By that he means doing the same thing he’s done every week.

Kurt Angle vs. Brian Black

Black looks a bit like Chris Nowinski with shorter hair. Angle makes him tap in less than thirty seconds.

Torrie Wilson and Jackie Gayda meet Daniel Puder, who doesn’t seem entirely impressed. Puder brings up Jackie cheating on Charlie Haas and wishes her better luck with men in the future. They can leave now, with Puder saying they’re just after his money.

And now, a battle rap between John Cena and Kenzo Suzuki before their US Title match next week. Kenzo, now clean shaven, is dressed like Uncle Sam. It’s Kenzo going first and talking about how much he loves America with the usual lame jokes. Cena on the other hand goes with a bunch of gay jokes about him and sex jokes about Hiroko. Kenzo says something about Cena sucking so Cena brings out Rochelle, Michelle and Lauren.

They get Kenzo’s attention and he flirts with them a bit. Cena: “I swear, he’s got some game.” The women seem more disturbed than anything else so Hiroko jumps on Michelle’s back. That’s broken up and Cena cleans house. They’re just biding time until Cena goes after the World Title because everyone else feels beneath him.

Next week: the Tag Team Titles are on the line in a four way.

Rob Van Dam vs. Doug Basham

Danny Basham and Orlando Jordan are in Doug’s corner. Rob takes him to the mat without much effort as Mysterio has come out to even the score a bit. The threat of a kick to the face sends Doug outside, where he shoves Rey and gets punched down. That’s an ejection for Rey so Van Dam moonsaults down onto Doug for two back inside. They slug it out on the floor with Van Dam going back first into the apron so Doug can start in on the spine.

The bow and arrow hold doesn’t last long so Doug tries a Vader Bomb, which hits raised feet. Rob hits the middle rope boot to the face and Rolling Thunder keeps Doug in trouble. A distraction lets Orlando give Doug a foreign object but the referee catches him, allowing Danny to change places. Danny’s chokebomb is good for the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing special to see here though it does give the Bashams a little momentum as we head into next week’s title match. The tag division isn’t exactly strong right now but Van Dam and Mysterio have felt like filler champions since they won the belts. That’s not a bad thing but I’m not sure who is going to work well as champions.

Angle lets himself into Amy’s dressing room but she’s in the shower. The suit comes off and, after Angle rubs his nipples, it’s Joy in the shower and a lot of screaming ensues. Angle pulls her towel off and smiles again as Joy runs off. Angle gets his pants on and chases after her, but finds Big Show holding her, meaning panic sets in as Angle tries to explain things. The chase is on and they wind up in the ring as the announcers try to figure out the locker room situation. Reigns and Jindrak try to help and get destroyed but Angle grabs a chair. This goes badly as well and Angle is dispatched.

Post break, here’s the same thing you just saw.

JBL, Amy and Jordan are very happy about what happened and of course Amy has put a sign up on Joy’s locker room to mess with Angle. Yeah it was telegraphed but it worked fine.

Raw Rebound.

Heidenreich punches a wall to warm up as Heyman tries to calm him down about the casket. He was totally going to volunteer to be on Heidenreich’s team if Long didn’t order him to do it.

Heidenreich/Paul Heyman vs. Undertaker

If Heidenreich/Heyman win, they can pick a different stipulation for the Rumble match. Heyman is in a suit here. Heidenreich starts for the team and shoulders Undertaker down, which is more success than you would usually expect against undertaker. An armdrag of all things takes Heidenreich down but he sends Undertaker into the corner and hammers away.

The chinlock doesn’t do anything so Heidenreich knocks him down for two more. Undertaker is right back with his usual series of strikes and the jumping clothesline puts Heidenreich back down. Snake Eyes into the big boot sends Heidenreich to the floor….and we’ve got druids.

They bring two caskets to the ring (Cole: “Perhaps one casket is for Heidenreich and the other is for Heyman!”) and Heidenreich panics. He tags Heyman and runs out into the crowd as Undertaker’s head snaps to Heyman. A lot of screaming is cut off by the Tombstone and Heyman is sent into the casket for the win. To be fair the casket is outside so I guess it would be a countout. Then again there’s no bell so I guess it’s just assumed.

Rating: D. This was exactly what it should have been as Undertaker vs. Heidenreich in a long match is nothing I ever need to see again. Since WWE seems to think they MUST finish this feud though, keeping it short is the best idea possible. Now just let Undertaker crush him at the Rumble (in another short match) and be done with it.

Overall Rating: D+. The opener carries a lot of the show and the Angle/Joy thing was fine, though the Undertaker vs. Heidenreich stuff just isn’t working. They need to get to the Royal Rumble build already so Cena can become the main event star he’s destined to be. You can feel the energy when he’s on screen and there’s no one even close to that right now.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 30, 2004
Location: Lakefront Arena, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’ll wrap up the year here as we’re back stateside after Tribute to the Troops. With that out of the way, it’s time to head towards the Royal Rumble, which hasn’t really been set up yet. It’s hard to say what we’re going to be getting tonight as Smackdown can go anywhere from one extreme to the other. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

General Manager Theodore Long announces that tonight will be the Night of Champions with every champion defending their title against an opponent of their choosing. I think you know where this is going.

Opening sequence.

Here’s John Cena to get things going. Cena talks about the calendar changing but the champ is still here. His New Year’s Resolution is to start a revolution, meaning that from now on there is no such thing as a John Cena fan. From now on, you’re a part of the chain gang and the same of him. They all fight and ride together and since they’re so close, Cena goes out into the crowd. Back in the ring, it’s time for the US Title match so come get a shot.

US Title: John Cena vs. Rene Dupree

Cena is defending and say if you want some, come get some, making this the first ever US Open Challenge. Dupree comes charging in and gets caught in a fisherman’s buster, allowing Cena to put on his robe. That means a funny little dance before the Shuffle and it’s time for Dupree to bail. Cena won’t have that though and catches Dupree with some headbutts. Back in and Dupree manages to whip him into the corner and then avoid a high crossbody, setting up the French Tickler. Cena is fine enough to drop him throat first across the top rope and the FU is good for the pin.

Rating: D. This was pretty much a squash with Cena barely breaking a sweat. The important thing here though is that Cena looked like a star and a main eventer, though there has been no mention of him going after the World Title yet. You can see the confidence in his eyes and that’s a great sign for the future.

JBL and Amy Weber have some great idea when they run into Joy Giovanni. Amy calls her fat and Joy asks what is up with the weird skin hanging from Amy’s neck. JBL yells at Joy but Big Show interrupts. Show wants the title shot tonight, which JBL will take into consideration. Amy and Joy are acceptable in these roles, assuming you ignore that the roles don’t need to exist.

Here’s Kurt Angle for his open challenge. He wants the shot at JBL as well, because Angle made him tap out two weeks ago. First though, let’s get on with the challenge.

Kurt Angle vs. Matt Stryker

Not the well known Striker. Angle wrestles him to the mat and hits a few shots to the head. The ankle lock is good for the tap in less than a minute.

Rob Van Dam and Rey Mysterio go over possible opponents for tonight. Van Dam suggests Moolah and Mae Young when Eddie Guerrero and Booker T. come in. The challenge is thrown out and I think you know where this is going. Eddie and Booker get in an argument over what the team name should be, with Booker thinking his name should be first because it’s alphabetical. Eddie: “What alphabet is that? The ebonics alphabet???”

We look back at Undertaker vs. Heidenreich last week with Heidenreich walking out. They’ll meet again at the Royal Rumble and Undertaker gets to pick the stipulation. We really need to build to that?

Daniel Puder introduces himself to the locker room but knocks someone’s bag off the bench. That would be Hardcore Holly, who doesn’t want to hear about Puder training for eight weeks. Puder apologizes for Holly taking eleven years to get here but wonders why Holly has never been in the main event of Wrestlemania. That’s where Puder is going to go after he wins the Royal Rumble. Holly thinks Puder has a lot to learn.

Long has another random woman in his office when JBL, Weber and Orlando Jordan come in. JBL is glad about getting to choose his opponent and has everyone’s name in a fish bowl. He draws a name and wants to go again but Long says it’s whoever is on that paper. JBL reluctantly agrees.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Shannon Moore

Moore is challenging and takes the Clothesline From JBL for the pin in about twenty seconds.

Post match Long comes out because he knows something is up. He wants to see what’s in the fish bowl, which Amy tries to hide. JBL yells a lot and Amy tries to leave but Joy jumps her from behind and the papers fall on the floor. As luck would have it, Long finds every paper has Moore’s name. Since JBL got to pick tonight, Long will pick for the Royal Rumble. That would be Kurt Angle, who comes out and calls JBL a liar, along with BUCKO. Angle calls him out for beating up someone small, with JBL saying Angle does that every week. Long cuts it off with a surprise: it’s going to be a triples threat match, also including Big Show.

Carlito doesn’t like Long and has a New Year’s Resolution of his own: to get rid of Long as GM. You can feel the petition coming from here. Josh Matthews can also feel the apple landing on his face from the spit.

Here’s Heidenreich for a chat because it seems that they’re giving us a break from the wrestling this week. Heidenreich insists that he is NOT scared of the Undertaker and even tried to give Undertaker a way out last week. Now Undertaker wants more? The Royal Rumble will be his final resting place because Heidenreich does not fear him.

Undertaker’s voice is heard and he promises to make Heidenreich rest in peace. Cue the druids with the casket, which of course has Undertaker inside. Heidenreich freaks as Cole speculates that we could be having a casket match. This would be your weekly example of “we don’t need commentary here”.

Mark Jindrak and Luther Reigns say they should be getting the Tag Team Title shot tonight because they’re awesome. The Basham Brothers come in to say they’re the real competition because they’re former champions. Eddie and Booker come in to say they’re winning the titles.

Cruiserweight Title: Funaki vs. Spike Dudley

Funaki is defending in an Armageddon rematch. Spike starts fast with some slams to start but the top rope double stomp misses. That’s not good enough for Funaki to get away so Spike wraps the ribs around the post. Tazz starts singing Auld Lang Syne as Spike stomps away in the corner. Commentary switches to a discussion about Dick Clark as the audio is clearly being dubbed over something else. Funaki gets in an enziguri and a bulldog for two, followed by a sunset flip (with a pretty fast count) to retain.

Rating: D+. They barely had time to do anything here and I had almost forgotten that Funaki was champion. The Cruiserweight division is already looking like it could go away with nothing changing and that’s not a good sign so soon after a new champion. There are talented cruiserweights around, but if they’re never going to be featured, it doesn’t really matter.

Long video on Tribute To The Troops.

Michelle McCool, Rochelle and Lauren are in the back and hit on Cena as he gets coffee. He doesn’t like being interrupted but changes his tune very quickly when he sees who they are. Lauren: “Can we see it?” Michelle: “Can we touch it?” Rochelle: “Can we play with it?” They mean the spinner belt. Cena seems pleased.

Raw Rebound.

RVD thinks Dawn Marie and Torrie Wilson should get the shot. Rey goes with the actual pick of Booker and Eddie (with Cole being shocked, as you knew he would be). Rey: “THEN we’ll face Dawn Marie and Torrie Wilson.”

Tag Team Titles: Eddie Guerrero/Booker T. vs. Rob Van Dam/Rey Mysterio

Eddie and Booker are challenging and during their entrances, we hear about how awesome last week was. Rey and Eddie start things off with Rey hitting a quick headscissors for an early standoff. We’ll switch things up a bit as Eddie grabs a hammerlock but that’s broken up as well, meaning the second standoff. Booker comes in and muscles Rey into the corner until Rey pops up with a dropkick.

It’s off to Van Dam and the fans are rather pleased with the change of pace. A headlock slows Booker down so he suplexes his way out, only to have Rob grab it again on the mat. Rob slams him down and it’s the 4:20 for two more. Everything breaks down for a bit with Rey being sent outside so the champs can take a breather. Back from a break with Rey missing a charge into the post to put him in trouble.

Eddie comes in for some right hands and sends Rey into a spinning kick to the face from Booker. Rey fights back with forearms to Eddie and a tornado DDT to put both of them down. Van Dam comes in for some shots to the face which don’t appear to have the most effort behind them. A monkey flip sets up the Five Star to Eddie so Booker makes a save. This time it’s Van Dam going shoulder first into the post and Booker clotheslines him down to break up a tag attempt.

Eddie hits Three Amigos for two on Van Dam with Rey making his own save. Booker grabs the chinlock as things settle down a bit. Rey has to break up a cover off a Book End, this time allowing Rob to kick Booker in the face. It’s back to Rey for a super hurricanrana on Booker but the ref gets bumped.

The 619 hits Booker but Eddie breaks up the springboard. Booker kicks Rey and Rob kicks Booker, followed by a hurricanrana to take both of them to the floor. With no referee, Eddie is tempted to go after a title, which he throws to Rey for the old playing possum spot. The referee actually catches on this time and Rey grabs a victory roll to retain.

Rating: B. This felt like a match where they were getting ready to launch into a great one but they just never got to that other level. Either way, it’s very nice to end the year on a rather good match with four people who can go for a long time. Counting commercials, this was over twenty minutes, which you don’t see to often.

Eddie and Booker aren’t happy but seem to agree that it was fair to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event helped but it felt like a lot of the people were taking the last week of the year off. Aside from the main event, nothing got any serious time with two of the matches adding up to less than a minute and a half. That being said, it makes a lot of sense to have a lighter show like this as they can start the build to the Royal Rumble next week. This was basically a week off and that’s ok given that it wasn’t likely to be a show many people were going to be watching in the first place.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 29, 2001
Location: Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 13,449
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

So I just did the Smackdown from the week before so now we’ll see the followup for the sake of continuity. We’re coming off the Royal Rumble and on the way to No Way Out, meaning Steve Austin vs. HHH/Vince McMahon is currently the top story. That’s not the worst place in the world to be and this is a pretty strong time for the company. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s hometown hero and WWF Champion Kurt Angle to open things up. Angle brags about being the most valuable sperm donor in town, Angle shows us a clip from last year where he declared himself Pittsburgh’s hometown hero in this very arena. He even told Mario Lemieux to come back to the Pittsburgh Penguins, which Lemieux did in the year in between. You can imagine the gloating off that one, but Angle would rather talk about tonight’s fatal four way for a title shot this week on Smackdown.

Angle omits the Rock from the list of participants so here’s Rock to interrupt. Rock didn’t like being left out so he’s here to set things straight. First of all, Rock doesn’t quite agree with Angle taking credit for Lemieux return, leading to a string of various swearing and insults. With the mean things out of the way, Rock has some footage of his own, which suggests that Angle likes….pizza. Angle freaks out and Rock shows us a local pizza ad from a few years ago with Angle watching pizza toppings wrestle. Ok yeah it’s goofy, but Rock was in a series of Chef Boyardee commercials in 1999 with the jingle Gettin Cheffy With It.

Back in the arena, Rock asks about Angle saying it doesn’t matter who is in the four way, setting up the IT DOESN’T MATTER what doesn’t matter line. Rock promises to win tonight and then take the title on Thursday but here’s Big Show (also in the four way) to jump Rock from behind. Angle is very pleased as Show hits a big clothesline, but a point from Show makes the nerves go right back up.

The XFL is coming in five days. On my birthday no less.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Edge and Christian

The Dudleys are defending but Edge and Christian come out in street clothes. As I try to figure out what street they could possibly be from, Christian says Edge is sick with food poisoning he got last week at Smackdown. He even has a note from a “real professional doctor.” They have replacements though.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Kaientai

The Dudleys are still defending and Kaientai promise to win by the power of Grayskull. Edge and Christian sit in on commentary (JR: “Oh goody. Hot dog.) as D-Von sends Funaki face first into the top turnbuckle. Bubba punches Taka in the face as we look at commentary for a rather annoying trope. D-Von drops his good looking legdrop for two on Funaki as Edge and Christian insist that they are NOT scared of the Dudleys.

The reverse inverted DDT slam gets two on Taka and it’s off to Bubba to clean house, despite the team being firmly in control before the tag. What’s Up hits Funaki and it’s an electric chair drop into a neckbreaker (that’s a new one) to Taka. That’s enough to draw Edge in for a spear on D-Von and the Canadians bail. Funaki gets the least intriguing near fall in a long time and it’s the 3D to retain the titles.

Rating: D. Well they tried, though it wasn’t the most thrilling match any way you looked at it. There is only so much you can do to make me believe that Kaientai is a real threat to the Dudleys and the titles so this was about as good as it was going to get. If nothing else, Edge and Christian vs. the Dudleys will be great, as always.

Vince promises a match tonight for the #1 contendership when HHH and Stephanie storm in with an attorney named Brian Gerwitz (ha). HHH is worried about the contract signing but Vince has it covered.

Rock left the medic’s room earlier after refusing treatment.

Billy Gunn is worried about Chyna but wants her to get better and move forward with everything else going on in her life.

Val Venis vs. Steve Blackman

The Right To Censor is trying to get rid of Steve’s weapons. Therefore, Blackman has a full bag of them. Blackman strikes away to start until a belly to back suplex gets Venis out of trouble. Steven Richards gets in a few cheap shots on the floor because that’s what he’s supposed to do in a match.

There’s a whip into the steps to make it worse for Blackman as this is almost one sided so far. Back in and we hit the chinlock with Ivory shouting that violence is unacceptable. Blackman fights up and kicks him in the ribs, setting up a snap suplex for a breather. The comeback is shortlived though as Richards gets in a cheap shot from the floor, allowing Venis to get a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. There’s an idea to the Right To Censor but at the same time there was only so much that could be done when their biggest star was either the Goodfather or Venis. Struggling to beat Steve Blackman isn’t a good sign either and the lack of a top star was a reason why the team never went anywhere. That and the fact that they weren’t supposed to.

Post match Blackman clotheslines Venis and beats up Richards. Bull Buchanan runs in for the save but Hardcore Holly makes the real save with some weapons. He throws Blackman some nunchucks and the beatdown is on in a hurry. Holly and Blackman tease a fight but agree to settle it over a warm cup of tea instead.

Tough Enough video submissions, including Josh Lomberger (Matthews).

Vince is on the phone with someone who is recovering and suggests massages. William Regal comes in with a cup of tea because it can relieve Vince’s stress. Vince seems pleasantly surprised.

Video on HHH vs. Steve Austin. HHH was revealed as the mastermind behind Austin being run over by a car back in 1999 and then cost him the WWF Title. Austin cost him the title at the Royal Rumble and then won the Rumble later in the night. They need one more match, and they’ll do that at No Way Out.

HHH rants about how he can’t trust anyone in this.

Austin says he’ll sign and he’ll even do it first.

Here’s Vince to emcee the contract signing. Vince talks about the hatred between the two and says the stipulations for the match are to be determined. However, there can be no violence between the two of them until No Way Out, unless it is in a sanctioned match. If HHH attacks Austin, he is suspended for six months. If Austin attacks HHH, he loses his WWF Title match at Wrestlemania.

HHH (with Stephanie and attorney) and Austin both come out and sit down as the fans are rather mean to Stephanie. Hold on though as Austin needs some beer. They stare each other down and Austin signs without saying anything. HHH’s attorney has to read the contract again and there’s something that HHH doesn’t like. We pause for some reading and Austin isn’t happy.

HHH signs….and hits Austin in the head with the metal briefcase. The beatdown is on as everyone is freaking out about the suspension. The Pedigree lays Austin out and Vince tells HHH that he’s been suspended for six months. Actually that’s not true…..because HHH didn’t actually sign. NOW he signs and gets in a gem with “Paragraph 3:16 says you can’t touch me.” I’ve always liked this segment.

The XFL is coming in five days.

Post break, here’s what you just saw before the break.

HHH and Stephanie left during the break but did make sure to pop out of the sunroof for some bragging.

APA vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Right To Censor

The winners get a title shot on Smackdown and that would be Buchanan and Goodfather for the RTC. It’s a brawl to start before the RTC even gets here with Jacqueline and Lita fighting on the ramp. With that broken up, the RTC comes in and it’s Buchanan attacking Matt to start. Everything breaks down in a hurry with Jeff missing the Whisper in the Wind. Bradshaw Clotheslines Buchanan with Goodfather making a save. That’s enough to allow Jeff to drop the Swanton for the pin and the title shot in a hurry.

Rock confirms that he will be in the four way because all Show did was tick him off. Payback is guaranteed.

Big Show laughs.

Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Crash

Crash is challenging and has Molly Holly in his corner. Raven brings his shopping cart full of weapons and uses it to knock Crash off the ramp. A tricycle toss misses Crash and they’re already in the crowd. Crash dives off the balcony with an ax handle and catapults Raven into a sign. They head into the concourse with JR and King using the time to plug the XFL. Raven throws a mop bucket at him and gets sent into a wall for his efforts.

Some kind of cart crushes Raven against the wall and Crash dives through the cart to take him down again. They head outside for a bulldog onto a park bench but Raven kicks Molly away before she can crotch him against a tree. Crash does it on his own but a masked woman jumps out of a car and saves Raven. Molly goes after her and gets thrown down, allowing the masked woman to hit Crash in the back so Raven can steal the pin.

Rating: C. This was pretty entertaining for a hardcore match as they were trying out there. You can only get so far in a match like this if you just hit each other with stuff so going out of the ring and trying something new is the way to go. The tree part was funny and the kind of thing you need some creativity to do and it worked out well here.

Raven and the woman (never revealed but I believe it was going to be Tori) drive off.

Chris Benoit isn’t worried about the four way.

Undertaker vs. Haku

Kane and Rikishi are here as seconds. They waste no time in slugging it out with Undertaker hitting a big boot into the legdrop for two. Old School already connects but Undertaker goes outside to beat up Rikishi. The distraction lets Haku get in a few shots and “slam” Undertaker down by the head (Haku seemed to lose the grip and Undertaker fell by himself). Back up and the jumping clothesline puts Haku down again and the jumping DDT has more effect than you might expect. Rikishi and Kane get in a fight on the floor to break up the Tombstone….so Undertaker hits a chokeslam to win a few seconds later instead.

Rating: D. Just a bunch of hitting each other until the finish here, which isn’t the most thrilling match in the world. Then again, the Brothers of Destruction against Rikishi and Haku isn’t the most interesting match either. Rikishi isn’t an imposing main eventer and Undertaker just beat Haku in four minutes. Where is the threat here?

Post match Rikishi chairs Undertaker in the head to bust him open but he’s right back up to clear the ring with Kane’s help.

Post break Undertaker thinks there is too much talking going on so now it’s time to fight. Let’s have a First Blood match on Smackdown. Undertaker: “I like to bleed. It turns me on!”

Dean Malenko, a real ladies’ man, is at WWF New York and can’t stand being away from Lita much longer. They’ll be back together real soon and the Hardys won’t come between them again.

Lita vs. Jacqueline

Ivory is on commentary as the winner faces her on Smackdown. They start fast with a Cactus Clothesline putting them both on the floor as Ivory accuses JR of fantasizing about him. Apparently big JR fans, Jacqueline and Lita dive onto Ivory and the match is thrown out in a hurry. Lita’s music plays but she didn’t seem to win.

We look at the contract signing again, with HHH apparently only signing one H before attacking Austin. That might be stretching the legal definition of not signing. One thing I always appreciate: they keep saying February 25 as the date of the show. Not “four weeks from now” or “at No Way Out”. It’s a definitive date so you know when the show is taking place. Why is that so much to ask?

Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit vs. Big Show vs. The Rock

The winner gets Angle, on commentary here, on Thursday. During his entrance, we see the pizza commercial again for a funny bit. Before the match, Jericho mocks Angle’s commercial, saying it has made him hungry for the title. Benoit and Jericho slug it out before the other two come to the ring, interrupting Lilian Garcia in the process. Show breaks it up so here’s Rock…who charges into a one armed chokeslam.

Benoit breaks up the cover but Show is right there to beat up everyone else. Jericho’s high crossbody is pulled out of the air but Benoit comes in to cut Show down. Rock comes back in for his clotheslines and Show gets tossed outside. That’s fine with Benoit, who snaps off a German suplex to Rock. The Swan Dive only hits mat and Rock’s Samoan drop gets two.

Show comes back in and gets DDTed but Rock has to go outside to deal with Jericho. Rock comes back in to break up the Crossface and the Lionsault hits Benoit for two. Jericho tries the Walls on Rock but Show grabs him by the throat. Benoit kicks Show low and the Canadians send Show outside, leaving Rock to Rock Bottom Benoit for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: B. That was a very fast match but they packed a lot into it and didn’t bother wasting time. Why bother doing anything more than exactly what the fans want to see here? There’s no need to build it up as anything more than what it was: four people giving it all they had to become the #1 contender, which is what you should be trying to do almost all the time.

Angle tells Rock to bring it to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. It continues to amaze me how much easier these old shows are to watch. There’s an energy to them and they get through things so quickly without having the show drag. That and there’s not a ton of comedy to them. Not everything needs to have some kind of a joke included and they realized that here. It’s an entertaining show that made me want to see more, with the contract signing even having a good twist included. Well done, and it wasn’t even that great of a show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6