Smackdown
Date: October 28, 2004
Location: Qwest Center, Omaha, Nebraska
Attendance: 3,700
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We have a new hero around here as Booker T. pinned JBL in a six man tag last week, setting himself up as the likely next challenger. That makes perfect sense and is a good way to set up someone fresh on top. You would think Raw might be able to learn a little something from that but at the moment, it’s unique to Smackdown. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

The Tough Enough finalists are here with Al Snow and ready for their first challenge. They go into the locker room but Big Show and a few others aren’t pleased. These rookies can go dress in the hallway instead, with Show shoving Daniel Puder around. Snow is fine with these developments and tells them to leave their stuff in the hall.

They come to the ring (with John Meyer missing, having quit before even getting this far) and it’s already time for a challenge. Well first it’s time for the introductions because we need to know these names before we forget about them. Big Show just embarrassed all of them and now it’s time for them to talk back, meaning they have twenty seconds to cut a quick promo on Show.

Chris, in a kind of stoner Hulk Hogan voice, talks about how he’ll be ready to be in the same locker room in about a month.

Mike sucks up to the Oklahoma crowd (Tazz points out the problem) and says he’ll be ready to wrestle after a year of training with Snow.

Ryan is fired up and talks about being the vanilla gorilla and if Show had this chance, he would have taken it too.

Dan Rodimer gives a weird cocky promo about how he’s not going anymore.

Nick says he’s big time and dances before crawling across the ring.

Justice wants Show to come out and play because Show went after the smallest of all the finalists.

Daniel Puder says he’ll break Show’s arms and legs because he’s an Ultimate Fighter.

Snow says that was really good, despite saying they were digging a grave a few times. And now here’s Big Show so they can say these things to his face. Show tells Rodimer to tell us why he’s so tough and takes a swing at him. Rodimer ducks and now we get to the second part of the challenge: a slam for each of them.

Ryan walks right at him, gets slammed, and has to roll away.

Mike pops up with a grimace on his face.

Mitchell gets slapped in the face and can barely move, as is the case with Puder.

Chris goes up awkwardly and lands just the same.

Justice gets slammed slowly (he’s got some size to him) but Show drops an elbow on him for good measure.

Rodimer gets in Show’s face, goes up awkwardly as well, and gets kneed in the chest. This is miles ahead of watching the Divas eat pie, but egads how annoyed must the paying fans be to watch a fifteen minute reality competition?

We look back at Booker T.’s annoyances with being in a six man last week and the ensuing victory over JBL in a pretty solid face turn.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Nunzio

This is Chavo’s first match in about two months after taking a shooting star to the head. Hang on though as here’s Billy Kidman to do commentary. The distraction lets Nunzio jump him from behind but a clothesline gets Chavo out of trouble. A belly to back gets two on Nunzio but he knees Chavo in the face and works on the arm. Back up and a running headscissors takes Nunzio down to a rather strong reaction. A right hand puts Chavo down and Nunzio rams him head first into the mat.

The announcers continue to grill Kidman over his weaponizing the shooting star press as Chavo makes another comeback. Chavo’s spinebuster gets two but a double clothesline sends Nunzio outside. With Chavo down, Kidman comes in and misses a shooting star. The crash lets Chavo hit a Gory Bomb for the pin.

Rating: C-. They need to go with the momentum Chavo has as fast as they can because the fact that he’s Chavo Guerrero is going to catch up with him in a hurry. He’s a very good hand in the ring but he’s not the most thrilling personality and that has been his problem for most of his career. There’s nothing wrong with going with this story though and they would be dumb not to try something.

JBL talks about not losing a singles match in months and brushes off last week’s loss because it was a tag match. Booker isn’t in his league but here’s Booker for a rather intimidating stare. They argue with Booker saying he’ll take the title but Orlando Jordan gets in his face. Booker: “Go make me a sandwich or something.” Theodore Long comes in to make Jordan vs. Booker for tonight and if Booker wins, he gets a title shot at Survivor Series.

Heidenreich is on the phone with Paul Heyman and begs him to get the match with Undertaker. He needs the match so Heyman has to get Undertaker to sign a contract.

Smackdown Your Vote campaign rally video.

Paul Heyman is in a dark room and talks to the unseen Undertaker, rather fearfully asking if he will sign the contract. Heidenreich needs this match but Heyman says everything was his idea over the last few months. Undertaker reaches over and signs the contract, then grabs Heyman by the throat. We see him for the first time with Undertaker saying that he hasn’t forgotten what Heyman did to him earlier this year. That contract was for Heidenreich’s execution.

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

Everyone is barred from ringside. Angle easily powers Rey (in American flag pants) onto the corner to start before taking him down into a headlock takeover. Rey almost looks confused and comes up holding his shoulder. He’s fine enough for a headlock of his own and the jawing starts until Rey actually starts a chase around the ring to send Angle outside.

The frustrated Angle grabs a chair but changes to an overhead belly to belly to send Rey outside in a nasty crash. We take a break and come back with Rey getting suplexed again as Angle is looking confident. Cole: “Ladies and gentlemen if you think this is a great match, later tonight it’s Booker T. vs. Orlando Jordan!” That’s just deflating. Angle grabs a waistlock to keep Rey down, setting up a heck of a German suplex.

Angle waistlocks him for a bit until Rey fights up for a tornado DDT in his first real offense. It’s weird seeing Rey get complete dominated like this. Rey’s sitout bulldog has Angle rocked but the springboard spinning crossbody hits the referee. The 619 is broken up by an invading Luther Reigns and Mark Jindrak, who draw out Rob Van Dam for the save. The Angle Slam hits Rey but here’s Eddie Guerrero to take Angle down. A frog splash is enough for the still out Rey to steal the pin.

Rating: C. This was a weird one with Rey almost getting squashed until the end when everything went nuts. Eddie vs. Angle is feeling tired now as Angle has pretty definitively won the feud, though they’re still going because there aren’t enough people for either of them to feud with on the show. They both need something fresh, though I’m not sure what they can do at the moment.

Torrie Wilson is getting ready for her Halloween costume contest when Kenzo Suzuki comes in to hit on her. The freaked out Torrie finally gets him to leave.

Eddie/Rey/RVD argue with Angle/Jindrak/Reigns in Long’s office. Long makes the Survivor Series elimination tag for Survivor Series with both of them needing another partner.

Cole: “We haven’t had an elimination tag match at Survivor Series in a number of years!” That number would be zero, as there were two of them last year. My goodness this man is bad at this job. Tazz brings up the intelligence a bit by saying that he’s talked to John Cena, who has been getting better.

Josh Matthews asks Carlito about rumors of him being in the club the night Cena was stabbed. A big man grabs Josh and holds him against a wall for asking the question. That would be Jesus, who holds Josh as Carlito says he was in the club that night, celebrating his title win. He left before anything happened though, because thugs like Cena aren’t cool. Josh gets the apple treatment.

Cole emcees the costume contest between Torrie Wilson and Dawn Marie. Torrie is a fairy (which surprises Tazz, even though we saw the costume earlier) and Dawn is a nurse, which she says she wears while nursing Charlie Haas back to health. This brings out Jackie for the fight with Dawn being stripped of her costume, because that’s how you hurt someone in wrestling.

Big Show comes up to Eddie and demands the fourth spot on the team. Eddie doesn’t like being told what to do and yells about how he’s already got a fourth man. It’s Big Show.

Raw Rebound.

Team Angle is freaking out when the Dudleys come in. Spike offers Bubba or D-Von, but Angle says they can have the spot if they take out Big Show. Spike has a plan.

Long, long recap of the Tough Enough segment.

Booker T. vs. Orlando Jordan

If Booker wins, he gets JBL for the title at Survivor Series. Booker takes over with almost no effort, mainly because it’s Orlando Jordan. A poke to the eye lets Jordan hammer away in the corner so Booker clotheslines him into an armbar. That’s broken up and Jordan chokes on the rope but since that’s the extent of Jordan’s offense, Booker shrugs it off and knocks him outside. A drop onto the announcers’ table and a glare at JBL take us to an early break.

Back with Booker hitting a pair of suplexes and walking around. Is he supposed to be worried about Jordan? A JBL distraction lets Jordan send Booker into the steps a few times and we hit the chinlock back inside. Booker gets taken down again with a hot shot so Jordan goes up for a….I think a high crossbody but it looked more like a forearm.

Either way Booker rolls through but gets taken right back into a chinlock. Booker’s swinging neckbreaker gets him out of trouble for a bit and a flapjack does it for even longer. The spinwheel kick and spinebuster combine for two and, after kicking JBL down, the ax kick finishes Jordan to give Booker the title shot.

Rating: D-. Well what else were you expecting here? Who actually thought Orlando Jordan was going to be a threat to Booker T? Jordan was really bad here with nothing above a rookie level offense, which doesn’t quite work when you’re supposed to be some kind of an enforcer. Terrible match that went on far too long, and that’s all because of Jordan.

Overall Rating: D. This was a rough one and I don’t see it getting any better anytime soon. You have Undertaker vs. Heidenreich coming up, plus a lot more Tough Enough. It’s a better concept than the Diva Search as these people are being treated somewhat seriously, but it’s still going to take up a lot of time on the show and require years before the winner (or the several other people hired) are ready to do anything. Other than that, the stories are starting to wear thin and while Booker is a fine challenger for JBL, the match to get him there was a disaster. Pretty bad show here, and it doesn’t feel like a one off.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: March 26, 2019
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Uncasville, Connecticut
Commentators: Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

Ok it has to be tonight right? I mean it has to be. Tonight has to be the setup for Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan for Wrestlemania. Now when I say has to be, I mean it should be but probably won’t be as WWE is likely waiting until the very last possible chance to make the match for some reason. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s New Day to get things going. That means a lot of chanting for Kofi, which shouldn’t be very surprising at this point. If Woods could be serious for a minute, the last few months have been an emotional roller coaster and the fans have been here from NEW DAY SUCKS to NEW DAY ROCKS. It’s been worth every bit of it and the KOFI/NEW DAY ROCKS chants begin.

However, given all the obstacles places in Kofi’s path, they’re considering walking away from WWE. Kofi has been treated badly for eleven years and he’s lived the power of positivity the whole time. They can’t make a decision until they get answers and they would need to be from Mr. McMahon. Therefore, they’re not leaving the ring until Vince comes out here. Cue Vince but before he can say anything, Daniel Bryan and Rowan interrupt instead. Bryan says New Day is a stale novelty act that Vince created and all he has to do is bring up three people from NXT, call them Fresh Afternoon and have them throw waffles into the crowd.

Kofi is a loser and Vince shouldn’t let Big E. and Woods get in his head. Vince has been right to keep Kofi out of the title picture and the people refuse to accept that reality. Bryan and Kofi argue about who is the hypocrite but Vince wants everyone to shut up. He doesn’t like the threats of quitting that were never going to happen.

Vince still sees Kofi as a B+ player but the question is if New Day is a B+ tag team. There is a way for Kofi to get to Wrestlemania: Big E./Xavier have to win….a tag team gauntlet match. Are they really managing to be this lazy on the Road to Wrestlemania? Doing three gauntlet matches in about seven weeks is their brilliant idea?

In the back, Becky Lynch talks about how she’s bringing the people and Ronda Rousey is bringing the title, but what does Charlotte bring? Charlotte comes out to the ring and says she’ll show you how worthy she is.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Asuka vs. Charlotte

Asuka is defending and the announcers are rather stunned. They fight over wrist control to start until Asuka grabs a headlock. A shot to the ribs puts Charlotte on the floor and we take a break. Back with Asuka getting two off a sunset flip but getting kicked in the knee. Asuka shrugs off the kicks and hits a hip attack in the corner, followed by a sliding basement dropkick for two. Another hip attack misses and Charlotte kicks her in the face. Charlotte’s moonsault is countered into the Asuka Lock with a rollup getting Charlotte out of trouble.

Back from a second break with Asuka getting two more off another kick to the head. Asuka heads up top but gets caught in a super Spanish Fly for a rather near fall in a spot you almost never see on the main shows. The followup takes too long though and it’s a triangle choke from Asuka, which is reversed into a sitout powerbomb (What else would it be?). The Figure Eight gives Charlotte the title at 15:52.

Rating: B. Another very good match from these two as they work well together, but that’s quite the curve ball for the main event. Odds are this leads to a unified title, which is the best thing for everyone right now. You have Asuka, Rousey, Becky and Charlotte at the moment and if Rousey is leaving, there’s no need for two titles between three big stars. Let the rest of the division fight over the Tag Team Titles and go with the traveling champion, as it’s best for everyone.

With Asuka down on the floor, Kurt Angle comes out for his match. Way to make the women look important there guys.

AJ Styles is honored to be Kurt Angle’s final Smackdown opponent and isn’t taking this match lightly.

AJ Styles vs. Kurt Angle

They shake hands and hug before the match before AJ pulls him down into the Calf Crusher. Angle is about to tap but hangs on long enough to reverse it into the ankle lock. AJ sends him into the corner for the break and here’s Randy Orton with an RKO to Styles for the DQ at 1:30. NOW WHY COULDN’T THEY DO THAT WITH SAMOA JOE LAST NIGHT???

Post match Angle gives Orton the Angle Slam, dropping him on the way to the mat.

Rey Mysterio and his son Dominick say that Samoa Joe isn’t going to have a good time at Wrestlemania when Rey becomes the new US Champion.

Here’s Miz for a chat, but first he needs to agree with the MIZ IS AWESOME chants. We’re twelve days away from Wrestlemania and the only thing he can imagine is ripping Shane McMahon limb from limb. Miz wants to hurt Shane so badly that he wants to change things a bit by making it a Falls Count Anywhere match. This brings out Shane, albeit behind a group of security guards and various midcarders. After having the ring announcer do a well done introduction, Shane says Miz sounds as dumb as his father looked.

We see an image from Fastlane of Shane grabbing Miz’s dad by the face with Shane saying it makes him feel better every time he sees it. Shane loved hurting Miz’s dad to the point where it was euphoric. Therefore, the stipulation is accepted, though Shane says he made a mistake of not hurting Miz even more. It was the biggest mistake since Miz’s father impregnated his mother.

Miz beats up the security and the wrestlers (to be fair it was Sanity and Shelton Benjamin) as Shane watches from the stage. A dive off the barricade lets Miz beat then into the crowd in a rather strong moment. They’re getting twenty minutes at Wrestlemania aren’t they? They’ve presented the thing as the third biggest match on the show so far.

We look back at the opening segment.

We look back at the Women’s Title match.

We look back at the SNL guys agreeing to enter the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal.

The IIconics are excited to be in the Women’s Tag Team Title match.

Tag Team Gauntlet Match

If New Day wins, Kofi gets his title shot at Wrestlemania. Big E./Xavier Woods are in first and Anderson and Gallows are in second. Woods goes straight at Anderson to start and it’s UpUpDownDown for the elimination at 49 seconds, which isn’t even enough time for me to make fun of Anderson and Gallows for still being around.

Rusev and Shinsuke Nakamura are in third as a crowd is gathering to watch backstage, including the Hardys, Rey Mysterio and Becky Lynch. Woods headscissors Nakamura down but misses a Stinger Splash in the corner. That lets Nakamura hit the running knee in the corner and Woods is sent outside as we take a break.

Back with Good Vibrations and a knee drop getting two as the audience has grown. The reverse exploder is countered and it’s Big E. coming in for some overhead belly to bellies. The Warrior Splash looks to set up the Big Ending but Big E. gets sent outside. That means a whip into the steps for Rusev but he’s fine enough for the Machka Kick back inside. Woods is back in for a dive onto Rusev as Kinshasa misses. Nakamura goes into the post and UpUpDownDown pins Nakamura at 9:27 total.

The Bar is in fourth and we’re joined in progress with Sheamus working on Big E.’s leg before handing it off to Cesaro. That means the Swing into the Sharpshooter but Big E. kicks him out to the floor. The hot tag is broken up but Big E. manages to fight them both off and, after a backdrop to Cesaro, the hot tag brings in Woods. Everything breaks down and it’s a big flip dive onto the Bar. A guillotine legdrop gets two on Cesaro with Sheamus diving in for a save.

Back from another break with Big E. caught in a half crab from Cesaro but Sheamus charges into a powerbomb. It’s back to Woods, who dives into an uppercut for two. The spike White Noise is broken up though and it’s a rollup to pin Sheamus at 23:55. We’re not done though as the Bar takes out Big E. and powerbomb him through a table.

The Usos are in fifth and want Big E. to get up and fight. Hang on though as Jimmy grabs a mic and says the Usos have fought wars against the New Day. Kofi deserves the shot so since he’s already earned respect from everyone….so the Usos forfeit at 26:23. We cut to the back where Bryan and Rowan freak out and wreck their locker room (that’s a lot of chairs for two people).

Back from another break with Rowan and Daniel Bryan being announced as the final team. Big E. can barely stand so Bryan wraps his leg around the post as Rowan crossbodies Woods. We settle down to a regular match with Bryan stomping on Big E. and grabbing something like an ankle lock/half crab hybrid. Big E. gets over for the hot tag to Big E. anyway and it’s a flip dive onto Rowan.

The Rock Bottom out of the corner plants Bryan and the Big Ending connects but Rowan makes the save. The claw slam gets two and it’s time to load up the announcers’ table. Woods is back up with a tornado DDT off the steps to drop Bryan and Rowan goes into the post twice in a row. A clothesline sends Rowan over the table and Big E. turns it on top of him to win via countout at 37:49.

Rating: C+. I liked this one better with the slightly shorter length and some more creative ways to end some falls. Above all else, the champions involved didn’t get pinned, which is a lot better than what I was expecting. The problem is I also expect New Day to turn on Kofi for getting him into the match and leaving him with the glory.

A rather calm Vince gets in his limo and says Kofi is going to Wrestlemania to face Daniel Bryan for the title.

The locker room comes out to celebrate with Kofi to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. Well they nailed this one for the most part, assuming you don’t mind a strong curve in Charlotte winning the title. Kofi FINALLY being set up for the title match is a great thing, though I don’t think he gets the title. I’m rather relieved that they didn’t have Angle go over AJ and they even threw in some storyline advancement. Throw in no mention of the Women’s Battle Royal or the Smackdown Tag Team Title matches and I’m very pleased.

Results

Charlotte b. Asuka – Figure Eight

AJ Styles b. Kurt Angle via DQ when Randy Orton interfered

New Day won a gauntlet match last eliminating Daniel Bryan and Rowan

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XXII
Date: April 2, 2006
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 17,159
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

Really there isn’t much else to talk about here. The other major match on the show is Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon in a match over Vince not being willing to grow up and let go of some things in his past. The card just doesn’t feel big this year which was the case with most of the stuff this year. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Raw: Eugene, Viscera, Goldust, Rob Conway, Lance Cade, Matt Striker, Trevor Murdoch, Tyson Tomko, Snitsky

Smackdown: Funaki, Super Crazy, Simon Dean, Steven Richards, Johnny Nitro, William Regal, Road Warrior, Joey Mercury, Psicosis

They’re keeping it a lot smaller this year with just eighteen names. Cade and Murdoch are a southern team, Striker is a former teacher who would become an annoying announcer, Road Warrior is our old friend Animal, Mercury and Nitro are partners in MNM (Smackdown Tag Team Champions) and Super Crazy and Psicosis are part of a group called the Mexicools. Also Viscera is now a self professed love machine.

Simon tries to make a sales pitch to start and gets superkicked for an elimination. Conway poses while beating on Richards and gets dumped for his efforts. Funaki gets catapulted out and Cade quickly follows him. Richards is stupid enough to pose on the apron and gets knocked out with Striker getting eliminated a few seconds later. Murdoch eliminates Crazy as the ring is quickly clearing out. Psicosis puts out Goldust in a pretty big upset.

Snitsky throws Regal out and MNM plants Eugene with the Snapshot (elevated DDT) for an easy elimination. The final eight (Snitsky, Viscera, Murdoch and Tomko for Raw, Mercury, Nitro, Psicosis and Road Warrior for Smackdown) have the big staredown with Psicosis quickly eliminating Murdoch, only to be put out by Tomko. Viscera tortures MNM as Snitsky and Tomko forget their allegiance by starting a brawl that no one cares about.

MNM avoids a corner splash from Viscera and actually tries the Snapshot, resulting in a severely sore back. Viscera stacks them both up for a splash and the Visagra, which can only be described as rhythmic thrusting on the mat. MNM are thankfully eliminated and Snitsky kicks Tomko out by mistake. Road Warrior stares Viscera down and the fans chant for the LOD. A big splash crushes Road Warrior and the elimination is academic, leaving Viscera to avoid a running boot to eliminate Snitsky for the win at 9:04.

Rating: D-. This was a horrible battle royal with the speed of the eliminations and the winner really holding things back. I mean……VISCERA? The long space near the end with no eliminations felt long too and really made the match drag, despite it not even breaking ten minutes. While last year’s felt fun, this one really felt tacked on and that’s not a good thing.

Viscera kisses Lillian post match.

Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child sings America the Beautiful.

The opening video is set to I Dare You by Shinedown and gives us the required history of Wrestlemania package (very good this year) before shifting to the major matches this year. I like the song but this really isn’t making me want to see the show.

The set is much simpler this year as it looks like the side of a skyscraper and is shaped liked the Chicago skyline, which fits the theme of “Big Time”. The highlight though is a bunch of portraits of various wrestlers around the arena for a unique and cool look.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Big Show/Kane vs. Chris Masters/Carlito

Masters and Carlito are challenging as Big Show and Kane decided they were friends again and easily won the belts. Masters and Kane get things going with Kane using a very rare dropkick. It’s off to Show for the loud chops in the corner but a rake to the eyes allows the tag off to Carlito, who looks terrified. The challengers are quickly deposited on top of each other outside, followed by a big clothesline from Kane. He’s feeling aerial tonight. The referee yells at Kane and in the meantime, Carlito and Masters get the turnbuckle pad off. That almost feels like a Wrestlemania tradition at this point.

Show goes face first into the steel and a double flapjack gets two. A double suplex goes as well as you would expect and it’s off to Kane to almost no reaction. Everything breaks down and Kane dives into the Master Lock (Chris’ full nelson), only to have Show break it up with a kick to the face. A Backstabber puts Show down and Kane sidesteps a Masters ax handle, sending him into Carlito instead. The chokeslam ends Carlito and retains the titles at 6:43.

Rating: D+. That’s their opener? They really didn’t have anything better than this? Kane and Show were pretty boring champions as almost no one could give them a real challenge, which is why they lost to a team of five male cheerleaders the following night on Raw. Masters and Carlito never got as far as they were supposed to in WWE, which is really a trend of the era.

Masters and Carlito argue post match.

Shawn Michaels is ready for his no holds barred match against Vince McMahon tonight. A few months ago, Shawn told Vince to grow up and forget about Montreal, prompting Vince to go to war against Shawn. That doesn’t mean he’s going to take back what he said because he still believes every word of it. Tonight isn’t going to be a five star classic because it’s going to get ugly. Shawn isn’t going to be his 1995 self or his 2006 self. Instead he’s going somewhere he’s never been before and Vince better be ready.

Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Finlay vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Ric Flair

Money in the Bank. Matt is serious again, Shelton is Intercontinental Champion again, Finlay is a tough Irish brawler and Lashley is an athletic freak and a powerhouse (originally described as Brock Lesnar times ten). To make it even better, all four commentators are on the match to make sure we never get a second of silence. Everyone goes after Lashley to start as the fans are all behind RVD.

Van Dam is there for them as he baseball slides a ladder into Matt’s face, followed by a plancha to land on the ladder on Hardy. Shelton won’t stand for being shown up though so he bridges the ladder against the ropes and flip dives out onto a pile of guys in a HUGE crash. Flair and Finlay are left in the ring for something that could be very interesting. Ric quickly dispatches him and goes up but Matt makes the save and SUPERPLEXES A FIFTY SEVEN YEAR OLD MAN OFF A LADDER!!!

Flair is taken to the back so we’re down to five for now which could make the match even better. Van Dam’s Rolling Thunder only hits ladder so Shelton and Lashley handle the climbing for now. Shelton tries a sunset bomb off the ladder but it takes Matt and Finlay to help make it happen. Cole again tries to get the whole Smackdown vs. Raw nonsense in and it still doesn’t work.

With most of the people down, Matt decides to charge at Finlay and a ladder in the corner, resulting in one of them being launched at Matt’s face. I’ll let you figure out which was which. Finlay loads up a ladder but here’s Flair because Heaven forbid we don’t have him around for five minutes. Ric cleans house with chops and goes up, only to have Finlay hit him in the back with the shillelagh (Irish club), sending Flair crashing down to the mat on his back.

The briefcase is swinging though, allowing Shelton to make the save. Lashley uses more power though as he uses another ladder to knock over the standing one to drop everyone again. Rob is right there though, coming off the top with a chair, dropkicking it into Lashley’s back for another save. Now it’s Matt’s turn to do something stupid as he drops a legdrop off the ladder to crush Lashley. That’s not enough either though as Matt Side Effects Finlay off the ladder, followed by Rob dropping the Five Star (well more like a regular one so he didn’t kill himself) from the top of the ladder onto Finlay.

That was a REALLY bad stretch for logic. All of the big spots looked really cool but what sends did most of them make? One of the dangers of Money in the Bank or any ladder match for that matter is doing crazy spots for the sake of doing crazy spots. You could say that they’re doing them to keep other people down, but the logical move, and what they did last year, is just throw people outside and then climb. It made for a higher quality match last year and it would do so again here if they tried the same thing.

Rob goes up now and in the spot of the match, Shelton springboards from the top rope ONTO THE STANDING LADDER and hammers away at Van Dam. Matt climbs another ladder so Shelton steps over to fight him but it’s Rob shoving them both down and pulling down the briefcase at 12:22.

Rating: B. Good stuff here but a major step below last year with too much insanity going around but still more than enough insanity to make the whole thing work. Van Dam is a really good choice for the winner as he’s been one of the most popular guys in the company for a long time so it was time to give him a shot, especially with Batista on the shelf. Good match here but it’s now a spot fest instead of a logical, well thought out match. Both are entertaining, though for far different reasons.

Gene Okerlund is happy to have been inducted into the Hall of Fame (not so happy with his bar tab, because Okerlund likes to drink you see) but Randy Orton comes in to say that he’ll be in the Hall of Fame for actions, not holding a microphone for 35 years. After Gene leaves while rambling about Orton’s old man, Batista comes up and says the title is being kept warm for him. He’ll be back soon.

It’s Hall of Fame time with the Class of 2006 consisting of Gene Okerlund, Sensational Sherri, Tony Atlas, Verne Gagne, William Perry (Celebrity inductee in some rather ugly street clothes. He couldn’t bring a suit?), the Blackjacks, Eddie Guerrero (accepted by Vickie to the loudest ovation of the group) and Bret Hart, who is still a few years away from appearing on WWE TV. Eddie would have been in one day and the reaction he gets here brings a smile to my face, even though I wasn’t a huge fan.

US Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit is defending and there isn’t much of a story here other than JBL wants the title and they tried to break each other’s hands (with only Benoit succeeding). In a really cool entrance, the ramp raises up and JBL’s limo comes out from underneath it to deliver him to the ring. JBL even Texas Two Steps to the ring with image consultant Jillian Hall (a good looking blonde) accompanying him. This is quite the drop down the card for both guys, though it’s not quite King Kong Bundy levels of bad.

JBL runs him over to start but has to block the Crossface. Benoit fires off some chops in the corner but the Sharpshooter doesn’t work either. Back up and Benoit chops him in the chest so JBL kicks him in the face. Chris still doesn’t let up and rolls some Germans, only to get crotched going for the Swan Dive. To make sure you know who the villain is here, JBL mocks Eddie’s signature dance (Benoit inducted Eddie into the Hall of Fame) before superplexing Benoit down for a delayed two.

Now it’s time for Three Amigos from JBL which is such an awesome piece of heel work. Jillian yells for some reason and we hit a chinlock on the champion. Benoit fights up and shows us the real way to do the Three Amigos (for those of you going to wrestling school by correspondence, though Benoit doesn’t have Eddie’s roll down just yet), followed by a big Swan Dive for two. Therefore it’s time for the Crossface but JBL rolls over and grabs the rope for the pin and the title at 9:44.

Rating: D+. Really good heel stuff from JBL aside, this felt like it was missing the middle. Instead of building to something, it felt like they ran out of time and just went straight to the finish. I do really like JBL’s heel actions but that doesn’t lead to being good between the bells. Benoit was his normal self here, which may be a step down from last year but it’s still good stuff.

We recap Edge vs. Mick Foley. Edge had cashed in the first Money in the Bank briefcase to steal Cena’s Raw World Title but he dropped it back to Cena three weeks later with Foley as guest referee. Therefore Edge wanted revenge at Wrestlemania, teasing Foley with the Wrestlemania moment performance. Foley accepted if they could make it hardcore, which Edge accepted by giving him a Conchairto (crushing Foley’s head between two chairs). This only woke up the hardcore legend inside Foley and the war was on.

Joey Styles, the voice of ECW, takes over for JR.

Edge vs. Mick Foley

Hardcore. Lawler’s reaction to Lita’s (now with Edge) look: “Whoa.” The cargo pants, Edge vest and bra look does have merit. Edge has a baseball bat and Foley’s flannel shirt is buttoned up for some reason. The bat misses to start and Foley bulldogs him down, followed by putting him in the Tree of Woe for a running ax handle to the face. Lita throws in some weapons to crack Foley upside the head.

The spear connects but Edge rolls away in pain, because Foley had barbed wire wrapped around his waist. The gray flannel comes off and NOW we get the classic red. Edge gets tied up in the ropes and it’s time for Barbie, the baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire. Edge is already bleeding from the arm but he’s able to hiptoss Foley into the steps for another sick crash. A baseball slide knocks Foley’s broken body back to the floor and of course it’s table time.

Foley rolls off the table before Edge can drop a top rope splash. That’s fine with Edge who slams Foley head first onto the steel ramp for two. That sound made me cringe….and so does Edge covering Foley in lighter fluid. It wakes Foley up though and he grabs a piledriver for two. Lita breaks up a Conchairto (well a Conchair-cookie sheeto) and Edge gets even more violent with a Barbie shot to the face, followed by just raking the wire over Mick’s forehead (ala Cactus Jack vs. HHH in 2000).

Edge is getting frustrated so he turns over more steps to reveal a bag of thumbtacks. Foley escapes and throws Edge into the tacks instead, sending Edge into shock. A barbed wire Socko appears (ok that’s awesome) and Edge is bleeding from the mouth. Shots to the ribs and head make it even worse and my goodness Edge is gushing.

In perhaps the scariest part of the match, Foley gets the lighter fluid. There is no way this can end well. The table is covered in it but Lita hits Foley in the knee with Barbie…..and lights the table on fire. Edge spears Foley through the ropes and through the fire, sending both men into shock. With Foley rolling around, Edge gets an arm over his chest for the pin at 14:37.

Rating: A. This is the kind of violence that they needed to have and the last shots with both guys in shock and rolling around in agony from the fire more than sold the whole thing. Foley is the perfect choice to bring in for something like this as this is the match that really made Edge. Yeah he was a big deal already, but this showed his mean streak for a change, which is one of the big steps up to the main event. This is the only match people remember from this show and it holds up very, very well.

Booker T. is trying to calm down his wife Sharmell over their handicap match against the Boogeyman (exactly what he sounds like). Sharmell thinks Booker attracts freaks but Booker says no and they walk down the hall. I think you know what’s coming. First up they run into Paul Burchill, who is embracing his family’s history as a pirate. After he calls them mateys, they find Ted DiBiase offering to pay Eugene money if he can bounce a basketball 100 times, only to kick the ball away at 99 (an old trick of his, once tried on Rob Van Dam himself when he was a kid).

Snitsky is kissing Mae Young’s feet (again, a thing of his), followed by Goldust dressed as Oprah Winfrey. Goldust gives him a pep talk, telling him to embrace his inner freak to defeat the Boogeyman. The real advice is to take the worms from Boogeyman’s mouth (Yeah he eats worms. Like, real live worms). Goldust whispers something in Booker’s ears and freaks him out even worse, sending Booker off for his match. These cameos would become a tradition.

Some fans won a contest to come to Wrestlemania, plus free Snickers.

Booker T./Sharmell vs. Boogeyman

Booker and Sharmell are terrified and we might be in for a comedy match here. This match has been a long time in the making as Booker keeps faking injuries so he can avoid fighting Boogeyman but it finally happens here. Sharmell has to start, only to have Booker get in a cheap shot and tag in a few seconds later.

There’s a bunch of fog in the ring from Boogeyman’s entrance as Booker superkicks him down. The Book End gets two and Boogeyman reaches into his pocket to pull out a bunch of worms. As you do. He eats the worms and kisses them into Sharmell’s mouth, sending her running in terror. A chokebomb puts Booker away at 3:54.

Rating: F. Booker is a former World Champion and would win his first World Title in WWE about four months after this. For some reason, he’s losing in a gross comedy match to a guy named the Boogeyman. Like I said: this was a very strange time for the company and this is a very good example of why. Also, was there any reason that this wasn’t one on one?

We recap Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus (good again and in the same reign with the Women’s Title from last year). Mickie debuted a few months ago as an obsessed fan who had a big crush on Trish. That was too much for Trish who told her to calm down, earning her a kick to the head and shouts of “DO YOU LOVE ME NOW” from Mickie. It got even worse as Mickie kidnapped Trish’s friend Ashley and laid out Trish during the save attempt, ending with a kiss to the unconscious Trish.

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus

Trish is defending. Lawler thinks Mickie is crazy but JR says Lawler would date her anyway, even if she’s a bit old for Jerry (JR: “She’s in her early 20s.” Lawler: “Can she cook?”). Mickie slaps her in the back of the head to start so Trish elbows her right in the jaw. The Thesz press (JR: “Maybe the Louise Thesz press.”) has Mickie in more trouble and Trish throws her down, only to have Mickie land in the splits. Trish kicks the post by mistake and Mickie wraps it around the post, followed by dropkicking it out for two.

The fans are behind Mickie as I guess they don’t go for the talented blonde bombshell look. There’s a half crab to stay on the leg before Mickie wraps it up in the ropes and stomps down on it. Now it’s a LET’S GO MICKIE chant and the fans boo as Trish comes back with a headscissors. Even JR isn’t sure why Trish is being booed so badly, though it could be the whole gorgeous brunette in a very short skirt which keeps flying up and down thing. Mickie’s hurricanrana out of the corner is countered with a sweet sitout powerbomb.

The Stratusfaction (springboard bulldog) is broken up with a grab between the legs, followed by Mickie licking her hand (edited out of most DVD versions). Trish blasts her in the face with a forearm and tries the Stratusfaction but the knee gives out (this is also edited though it might have been a bad attempt at selling the knee injury instead of a botch), allowing Mickie to kick her in the head for the pin and the title at 8:49. JR gets in a great line with “the nutjob has won the title.”

Rating: B-. Good stuff here with an actual story and two women who can actually work a match instead of models who have no idea what they’re doing. These two had a good, long feud with Mickie eventually becoming the new face of the division due to Trish and Lita retiring later in the year. This is still one of the best Divas matches ever and pretty easily the best of this era.

Vince is with the other three McMahons and decides to lead them in a prayer. Vince: “God, I don’t like you and you don’t like me.” He brags about his physique and wealth before promising to destroy God’s favorite wrestler tonight.

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

Casket match. Henry destroyed Undertaker AS NO ONE HAD DONE BEFORE to set this up. This was rumored to be Angle vs. Undertaker but why do something awesome when you can do something boring? At least we get the full druid entrance for the casket, plus the classic story of “I’m not scared of the dark” from Henry. I say classic because EVERY HEEL EVER SAYS THAT TO UNDERTAKER. Undertaker’s entrance goes so long that Cole is able to go through every match in the Streak.

Henry jumps Undertaker during the nearly three minute entrance and pounds him down using big clubbing blows. Yes I said BIG CLUBBING BLOWS. Undertaker tries running him over but a clothesline puts him right back down. They head outside with both guys going into the steps. Slow progress so far. Back in and Henry breaks up Old School and chokes Undertaker near the open casket.

Anything goes though so Undertaker hits him low for the break. Old School works the second time around and Henry misses a charge, sending him down into the casket. Undertaker joins him and they choke each other a lot until Henry gets punched back into the ring. Isn’t that bad strategy for Undertaker? There’s the World’s Strongest Slam and Henry covers out of instinct.

Another trip to the casket goes nowhere so Henry pounds away with even more right hands. Since those don’t work well enough, Mark goes to the middle rope and gets powerbombed down. Not quite the Last Ride but it’s as close as Undertaker was going to get with Henry. Mark is sent to the floor and takes the Taker Dive, followed by a Tombstone to put him in the casket for the win at 9:27.

Rating: D-. This was as going through the motions as you were going to get with neither guy looking like they were trying with any sort of effort. That being said though, if you were scheduled to get Kurt Angle and got Mark Henry instead, how fired up would you be? Bad match here as it was nearly nine minutes of punching and forearms until the ending.

We recap Vince vs. Shawn which I covered earlier. After the grow up line set him off, Vince sent Shane and the Spirit Squad (five male cheerleaders in an odd gimmick choice) after Shawn and even forced him to join his special club. As in the one that involved Vince lower his pants and a kiss from the other person. Figure out the details for yourself.

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

No holds barred. JR apologizes in advance for being so biased in this match. Oh thanks for the warning Jimmy. Vince shows off a framed cover of his Muscle and Fitness Magazine cover, which really is amazing considering he’s 60 here. Shawn doesn’t want to wait and sends Vince over the table, choking him with an electric cord. The fans want Bret (maybe he could pick this show up a bit) but have to settle for the framed picture (minus the glass) going around Vince’s head.

Cue the Spirit Squad to take Shawn out, including their five man lifting slam. Nicky (later known as Dolph Ziggler and the only one who went anywhere) sends Kenny to the top for a guillotine legdrop but Shawn moves away. Their megaphone goes upside the Squad’s heads and Kenny is sent flying over the top onto the rest of the team.

Vince finally gets back into it with shoulders and choking, first with hands and then with the belt. See? He’s versatile! Vince is all fired up and runs around in a circle before tuning up the band. JR: “He can’t carry a tune.” The kick is caught though and it’s the forearm into the nipup. That means it’s time for Vince to get whipped with his own belt (oh the irony) as JR is even more annoying than usual, ranting about how Vince is a businessman with no heart.

Shane comes in with a kendo stick to break up the real Sweet Chin Music and pulls out some handcuffs. Vince would rather lower his pants though, only to have Shawn hit Shane in the ribs and send him face first into his dad. This is one of those moments that makes you embarrassed to be a wrestling fan but you have to expect it from Vince. Now Shane gets cuffed to the middle rope and Shawn takes the key away for safekeeping and even mocks Shane’s trademark dance. He was always good at that thing.

Back in and Shawn hits a GREAT chair shot to the head (Lawler: “CUBS WIN! CUBS WIN!”) to bust the boss open. Sweet Chin Music is canceled because Shawn would rather pull out a ladder. The top of said ladder goes into Vince’s face and this year it’s JR making the Home Depot joke. That’s still not enough for the superkick though as Shawn would rather bring in three trashcans. Oh and a table of course. You can see another can, ladder and table in case we have another wild brawl later.

Some can shots are followed by Shawn putting Vince on the table and climbing the ladder. That’s not enough though so Shawn climbs down and pulls out the big ladder for the elbow (after some crotch chops) through a trashcan through Vince. Sweet Chin Music FINALLY puts Vince away at 18:27.

Rating: D. This went on WAY too long as the last six or seven minutes were just Shawn beating Vince up with no offense from McMahon whatsoever. It’s entertaining in a perverse violent way but at the same time, how long can you see Shawn hit Vince with various metal objects before it gets dull? Even JR was saying end it already. Cut out five minutes of this and it’s way better as this was six minutes longer than Money in the Bank. That’s too much no matter how you look at it. On top of that, this led to a DX reunion and a one sided feud that went on for another five months, even after this total destruction.

Vince flips Shawn off from the stretcher in a perfect touch.

Wrestlemania XXIII is in Detroit.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match. Rey Mysterio had dedicated his Royal Rumble performance to the late Eddie Guerrero, last eliminating Randy Orton to win. Orton wasn’t happy with this and played on Rey’s emotions by bringing up Eddie’s name and saying he would burn forever. This made Rey put his title shot on the line at No Way Out 2006 where Orton defeated him. Smackdown General Manager Teddy Long put Mysterio into the title match anyway to make it a triple threat against champion Kurt Angle (who won the vacant title in a battle royal due to Batista’s injury). This gets the music video treatment.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton

Angle is defending and P.O.D. plays Mysterio to the ring. No superhero again this year as Rey has an Aztec eagle theme instead. Orton takes the belt from the referee to blast Kurt in the face and runs Rey over for two. Kurt, in black boots for some reason, comes back in with a German suplex to both guys at once. Rey is down so Randy has to take Kurt’s full wrath. This was a great period for Angle as he was on fire and really feeling the Wrestling Machine persona.

The ankle lock attempt is abandoned as Angle has to deal with Mysterio, who headscissors him to the middle rope. This time the ankle lock goes on though as Kurt counters the 619 but Orton gets on the apron with a chair so the referee doesn’t see Rey tap (what a hero: giving up five minutes in when he’s trying to honor his friend’s memory). Now it’s time to unleash the Germans with Angle not even leaving his feet as he throws Mysterio.

An Angle Slam puts Rey on the floor and now Randy gets caught in the hold to make him tap behind the referee’s back. Rey comes back in with a springboard legdrop for two on the champ but he sends Mysterio shoulder first into the post. An RKO out of nowhere (he even did it back then) gets two on Kurt with the ankle delaying the cover. Ever the rocket scientist, Orton goes up top on a bad ankle against Kurt Angle, who gladly runs up the corner for the belly to belly superplex.

Rey’s springboard seated senton gets two on Angle and Randy throws the champ to the floor. His powerbomb into a neckbreaker (a cool move I wish he would use more often) gets two on Rey but a quick Angle Slam gets the same on Orton. Rey armdrags the champ to the floor and it’s the 619 and West Coast Pop to pin Orton for the title at 9:25.

Rating: C+. Where’s the rest of the match? The World Title change at Wrestlemania can’t even get ten minutes but Boogeyman vs. Booker T./Sharmell and the next match can get four minutes each? Mysterio winning is a cool moment but this should have been just beating Orton while Angle fights Undertaker in a classic. At least we had a cool moment though and a good way to cap off Eddie’s legacy while giving Rey a surprise title win.

Vickie and Chavo Guerrero come out to celebrate.

HHH and John Cena are getting ready in the back and JR talks about Cena being defiant like his fans. Fans: “CENA SUCKS!”

Candice Michelle vs. Torrie Wilson

They’ve both been in Playboy before so here’s a pillow fight on a bed. JR: “This next match will not resemble Gotch and Hackenschmidt.” Of note: Torrie comes out to what would become Laycool’s music and carrying a puppy. Lilian also can’t pronounce Torrie’s hometown of Boise, Idaho. They brawl to start and Torrie turns the bed over. There goes Candice’s dress but she still chokes Torrie with her legs while bending over the top rope. Candice drops a knee and cuts Torrie’s dress off with some scissors. She rubs a copy of Playboy in Torrie’s face but charges into a rollup to give Torrie the pin at 3:55.

Rating: F. Again, this got about four minutes or nearly half the time of a World Title match. That’s really their best use of Wrestlemania time? As has been the case in the past, I get the appeal and thinking here but this really didn’t need to be the next to last match at the biggest show of the year.

Clips of the Wrestlemania press conference from earlier in the week. HHH called this the easiest match of his life because sooner or later, they all bow down to the king. He won a quick tournament to get the shot.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. John Cena

HHH is challenging and comes out first with a full on Conan the Barbarian look, complete with throne rising through the stage, fur pelt, and of course a bottle of water. Just like Kane in 1998 though, his entrance is trumped almost instantly. We see an old newsreel style video of Chicago in the Great Depression. Gangsters were the only people living the American Dream and a group in Chicago lived harder than anybody. To survive, those people needed three things: Hustle, Loyalty and Respect.

The stage rises up again and a 1930s car with gangsters hanging off the side (one of which is CM Punk) holding Tommy guns. Cena’s music hits and the booing gets even louder. He comes out in a black trench coat and fedora before firing off a Tommy gun of his own. This isn’t the best received entrance but it certainly makes an impression. With all that out of the way, we get the big match intros and it’s time to go. Well after we hear all of HHH’s nicknames of course.

Feeling out process to start with HHH grabbing a hammerlock and throwing Cena to the ground. A kick to the back sends him into the corner as this is all HHH in the very early going. The fans are all over Cena with some very bad words so he tries a quick FU, only to eat a right hand to the jaw to put him down again. To mix things up a bit, HHH throws him out to the floor as they’re taking their time here.

A backdrop of all things gets two for the champ as Lawler says Cena might not be the best wrestler but he can fight. JR jumps to the champ’s defense as he throws HHH into the corner and puts on a chinlock to take a breather. Fans: “YOU CAN’T WRESTLE!” A big whip sends HHH over the corner and out to the floor in a big crash, followed by a slam to put HHH on the ramp.

Back in and they start slugging it out, followed by HHH taking it to the floor again for a whip through the steps. Things slow down with the HHH knee to the mat, followed by one heck of a clothesline for two. Back to back neckbreakers get the same and HHH is as over as free beer in a frat house. JR tries to get over Monarch of the Mat as a new nickname for HHH as he cranks on Cena’s head. A sleeper takes Cena down and turns into a chinlock.

Back up and Cena takes his head off with a clothesline and follows with two more. A powerslam gets two and the ProtoBomb looks to set up the Shuffle, only to have HHH pop up with a spinebuster. It’s back to the sleeper but Cena quickly suplexes out and now the Shuffle connects. The STFU (the U would eventually be dropped) goes on but HHH is too close to the ropes. With that not working, Cena tries the FU but gets rammed into the referee. HHH uses the opportunity to get in a low blow, which hits Cena and the referee at the same time.

That means it’s time for a sledgehammer to the face for two, because a 6’4 270lb man HITTING YOU IN THE FACE WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER is only going to knock you out for two seconds at a time. HHH loads up the Pedigree (“I hit him in the face with a hammer as hard as I could. Maybe my wrestling move can beat him!”) but Cena reverses into the FU (looking like he’s been out there five minutes and hasn’t been touched) for a near fall. A high cross body misses and it’s back to the Pedigree but Cena reverses into the STFU to eventually retain at 22:04.

Rating: C. Cena was coming but he really wasn’t there yet. This is similar to Rock vs. Austin back in 1999 where the first match wasn’t great (though certainly not bad) but the rematch the next month was WAY better (partially due to Edge being added to spice things up a bit). The match didn’t work for the most part though and that sledgehammer shot was WAY more than I could handle. I repeat: he hit Cena in the face WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER FOR TWO.

That being said, this is the match that made Cena the biggest star in the company. He had always been a big deal and the top star of Raw, but this is the match that made him special. Until then he had been living in Batista’s shadow, but now it’s all about Cena and his in ring abilities would mature to back it up. The match is good, though much more important than anything else.

Highlight package ends the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show just does not hold up. It felt like something used to set up stuff for the future which is fine, but aside from Edge vs. Foley and a good Money in the Bank, what is there on here of value? We have a pretty lame Tag Team Title match where the titles changed hands the next night, a forgettable US Title change, Boogeyman vs. Booker T. (for all intents and purposes), a good Women’s Title match, a REALLY bad casket match, a way too long squash, a World Title change that was far too short though memorable and a pillow fight. Does that sound like Wrestlemania to you?

Now that being said, this isn’t the worst show ever as they kept most of the bad stuff short. The long bad match with Vince vs. Shawn certainly had some good moments with some of Vince’s head trauma and the sheer amusement of seeing the boss get beaten up. Basically, as usual, this show needed another edit and to have about an hour cut out. If you lose some of the short matches entirely (Booker T. vs. Boogeyman to start. Do that nonsense on Raw.), trim off some of Vince’s destruction and add it to the triple threat and cut the show down by at least half an hour, it’s WAY better in a hurry.

This show fell into one of the most common traps for Wrestlemania: trying to squeeze in too much stuff, including a lot of stuff that really didn’t need to be here. There were eleven matches on the card which really is too much. It made for a lot of short and forgettable matches, plus a handful that are actually good. That doesn’t really make up for a good Wrestlemania, though there are worse. We’ll go with this one on the very bottom of the good list list but with the weaker stuff on here being much more forgettable and dull than bad.

Ratings Comparison

Big Show/Kane vs. Carlito/Chris Masters

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: D+

Rob Van Dam vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Ric Flair vs. Finlay vs. Matt Hardy vs. Bobby Lashley

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: D+

Edge vs. Mick Foley

Original: A

2013 Redo: A

2015 Redo: A

Boogeyman vs. Booker T/Sharmell

Original: F

2013 Redo: F

2015 Redo: F

Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B-

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D-

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: D

Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: C+

Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle

Original: F

2013 Redo: F

2015 Redo: F

HHH vs. John Cena

Original: A-

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: C

Overall Rating

Original: B

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C-

In the first one I said it wasn’t something I’d want to see again. Apparently that was accurate as the rating PLUNGED on a second viewing.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/29/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-22-i-barely-remember-this-show/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/31/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxii-hhh-does-it-again/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XXII
Date: April 2, 2006
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 17,159
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

We head to the midwest here for a pretty forgotten show. The main events here are Cena defending against HHH and Angle defending against Guerrero and Orton. No that isn’t a typo. The triple threat has nothing to do with Rey Mysterio but rather is there to milk every dime possible out of Eddie’s corpse. Seriously, that’s it. Other than that we have Shawn vs. Vince and Edge vs. Foley in a match that allegedly made Edge a bigger deal. Let’s get to it.

Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child sings America the Beautiful.

The opening video is a Wrestlemania montage set to I Dare You by Shinedown. Awesome song and an awesome video.

We also get the usual kind of opening video with hype for the major matches.

Raw Tag Titles: Carlito/Chris Masters vs. Big Show/Kane

The monsters are defending here. Kane and Masters start stuff out and the 6’5 Masters looks tiny by comparison. Show headbutts him from the apron before coming in legally for some chops. A poke to Big Show’s eye slows him down and here’s Carlito who is immediately chopped down. Masters is slammed down as well with Show throwing Carlito over the top and out onto Chris.

Kane goes up top and dives onto both guys as the challengers are in trouble. Somewhere in between there the turnbuckle pad has been removed and Show misses a charge, going head first into said buckle. It doesn’t seem to have much effect though as Show suplexes both guys down with ease. Off to Kane as everything breaks down. Kane pounds away on Carlito in the corner and hits the side slam for no cover.

The top rope clothesline misses Masters though and there’s the Masterlock to Kane. Show breaks it up seconds later but there’s the Backstabber to Kane. The chokeslam is broken up by Masters and Show is sent to the floor. Kane’s double chokeslam attempt is broken up but after causing some heel miscommunication, a solo version to Carlito retains the titles.

Rating: C. Not bad here but this is one of the matches that probably could have been cut for the sake of trimming the show a bit. The match was a squash and not a very interesting one either. That’s the problem with a pair of giants like Big Show and Kane: there’s no one that can stop them and the resulting matches are dull at times. Not bad but it felt like a Raw match.

The losers argue post match.

Shawn says that when he told Vince to grow up, he was telling the truth. It’s pretty funny that a year ago Shawn and Angle stole the show and a year before that he stole the show with Benoit and HHH. This year though it’s going to be about violence, not the five star classic. Shawn tells Vince to pray tonight because he’ll be enduring quite a bit.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Finlay vs. Ric Flair vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Matt Hardy vs. Bobby Lashley

Money in the Bank here. Shelton is Intercontinental Champion and Matt is arguably the favorite. It’s a big brawl to start with Lashley cleaning house. The crowd favors RVD. Benjamin hits a BIG kick to Lashley’s head to put him down as Matt tries to bring in the first ladder. Instead it’s Van Dam with a baseball slide to take Matt down, followed by a big flip dive to put him down again. Shelton brings in a ladder of his own and after laying out Finlay with it, he sets the ladder up as a ramp for a springboard flip dive to take out everyone under the age of 40.

Finlay sets up a ladder but here’s Flair for the save. Naitch tries to climb but Matt superplexes him off the ladder which is good enough to hurt Flair’s back and knock him out of the match. As Flair is taken out, Van Dam lays out Shelton on the ladder but misses Rolling Thunder, hitting only the ladder. Lashley goes for a climb but Benjamin goes up to stop him. Shelton tries a sunset bomb over the top of the ladder but it takes Matt and Finlay helping to complete the move.

Matt gets a running start at Finlay but has a ladder pelted at him to put Hardy right back down. Finlay sets up the ladder but here’s Flair hobbling down the aisle. Instead of climbing up the ladder though, Finlay goes into the aisle and gets chopped back down. Ric fights off Shelton and Hardy and goes up, getting his hand on the case. Finlay goes up the ladder though and blasts him with the club to put him back down.

Shelton and Finlay fight on top of the ladder but here’s Lashley with another ladder to knock the ladder with two people on it down to the mat. Now Lashley goes up but Van Dam comes off the top rope and dropkicks a chair into Lashley’s back to break up the climb. Matt, ever the bright guy, goes up top on the ladder but drops a leg instead of going for the case. Matt goes up and gets his hand on the ladder, only to have Finlay make a save. Hardy takes Finlay down with a Side Effect off the ladder to put everyone down.

Van Dam, also not the brightest guy in the world, comes off the ladder with a splash on Finlay, leaving everyone down again. In the spot of the match, Van Dam goes for a climb but Shelton springboards off the top rope and lands on the ladder to punch Rob down. That looked AWESOME but he has to stop Matt instead of getting the briefcase. Matt and Shelton’s ladder fall down though and it’s Van Dam pulling down the case to win the match and the title shot.

Rating: B. Shelton’s spot was INSANE but this match was a bit too short. Also the match wasn’t as big with the spots as it was last year but the spots that were big certainly did look good. It’s not quite as good as last year, but it still lived up to the hype. A better roster would have helped this one too, as Finlay didn’t fit in a match like this and Flair didn’t exactly either.

Randy Orton interrupts Gene Okerlund and insults the idea of Okerlund being inducted into the Hall of Fame. Gene isn’t impressed and says he’ll be in the Hall of Fame one day because of nights like tonight. Batista, still injured at this point, comes up and says he’s coming for the winner of the triple threat tonight. Batista vs. Orton was the match that never got to have on the big stage they wanted to.

Here’s the Hal of Fame (minus Bret because pigs haven’t grown wings yet): Okerlund, Sherri Martel, Tony Atlas, Verne Gagne, William Perry (in barely fitting street clothes), The Blackjacks (with a drool inducing Maria) and the co-headliner, Eddie Guerrero (biggest ovation and accepted by Vickie).

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL is challenging and takes over with a quick headlock. Benoit comes back with a drop toehold but can’t get the Crossface this early. Back to the headlock by JBL but Benoit gets his back and pounds on the challenger’s neck. The Sharpshooter is broken up very quickly and Jibbles heads to the floor. Back in and Benoit avoids a charge in the corner and lays out Bradshaw with the Rolling Germans. The champion loads up the Swan Dive but JBL crotches him to escape.

JBL cranks up the heel by doing Eddie’s chest slap. A superplex puts Benoit down but only gets a very delayed two. There’s the Eddie dance and JBL hits Three Amigos to HUGE heat. Benoit knees his way out of the third Amigo and pounds away, only to get kicked in the face for two. Off to a lame chinlock (his hands aren’t even locked) by JBL but Benoit suplexes his way out. Now Chris hits Three Amigos to a solid ovation before doing the chest slap. Now the Swan Dive hits for two and Benoit counters the Clothesline into a Crossface attempt, but JBL rolls onto his back and grabs the rope for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. Just like the opener this was pretty meh but JBL was an awesome heel here. The part of this that sticks in my mind though is Benoit hitting that headbutt. After it hit he was grabbing his skull and was clearly in pain. Every time I see him hit something like that I cringe a little bit more and wonder if that was the point of no return.

We recap Foley vs. Edge. Edge cashed in MITB at New Year’s Revolution and Mick was guest referee for the title change for no apparent reason. Foley got beaten up as Edge accused Foley of losing his edge so to speak.

Joey Styles jumps in on commentary for the next match.

Mick Foley vs. Edge

This is a hardcore match and DEAR GOODNESS I forgot how hot Lita looked in this match. Edge comes out in a vest with a ball bat but Foley comes out in…..gray flannel? There’s a Cactus shirt under it but I didn’t come to Wrestlemania to see Foley in GRAY flannel. Edge swings with the bat but only hits buckle. Foley slams him into the mat and puts Edge upside down in the Tree of Woe for the running fist to the face.

Edge comes back with a forearm and tells Lita to send him something. We get various flat metal objects like cookie sheets and stop signs which are smashed against Foley’s head. Edge loses the vest and hits the spear before falling to the side and writhing in pain. Foley opens up the flannel and reveals a ring of barbed wire wrapped around his stomach and A RED FLANNEL SHIRT! Edge’s arm is hacked open so Foley whips him with the barbed wire and drives it into the arm cut.

Edge is tied up in the ropes and Foley pulls out a barbed wire ball bat. Lita tries to interfere but a Cactus Clothesline to Edge puts all three on the floor. A swinging neckbreaker on the floor gets two for Foley but as he charges at Edge he gets hiptossed into the steps, leg first. Edge whips Foley HARD into the steps, destroying the knees even further. Mick is put on a table on the floor but rolls off before Edge can dive. Edge slams Mick’s head into the steel ramp for two and another sick thud.

Back inside the ring they go and Edge covers Foley with lighter fluid. Well that’s certainly stepping things up. A piledriver out of nowhere gets two for Foley and he loads up the Conchairto, only to have Lita make a save. Edge hits a DDT “onto” the chair before getting the barbed wire bat for some midsection shots. There’s a shot to the face for good measure and Foley is busted open. Edge gets in some psychology by ripping the barbed wire of Foley’s forehead like Foley did to HHH in 2000.

Since nothing else has worked, Edge busts out the thumbtacks. Foley blocks a facial damaging bulldog with a belly to back suplex into the tacks to send Edge into shock. It’s Socko time but Foley wraps it in barbed wire for good measure. Foley gets in a barbed wire bat shot to Edge’s ribs and one to the head as well, cutting his head open something fierce. Now Foley gets the lighter fluid to cover the table, but Lita slows him down with a bat shot to the ribs. The table is lit and Edge SPEARS FOLEY THROUGH THE ROPES AND THE FLAMING TABLE for the pin.

Rating: A. Oh yeah this worked. This was about blood and violence which is something you never get anymore. It helped that you had Foley and Edge out there, as in guys that knew how to wrestle a match and make a wrestling crowd care. That’s the difference between this and ECW: this was well built and about emotion and hatred instead of a freak show. Also it’s ONCE, not every match on the card.

The look of shock on Edge’s face as he goes to the back is amazing.

Booker and Sharmell want to know why Boogeyman wants them. They go to the ring for their match and see Pirate Paul Burchill practicing his sword play. Then it’s DiBiase offering Eugene money for dribbling a ball 100 times in a row, only to kick it away at 99. Snitsky is licking Mae Young’s foot with Moolah watching.

Goldust is dressed like Oprah (they used to be partners remember) and is apparently the leader of this group of freaks. He tells Booker to embrace his inner freak or he can’t beat the Boogeyman tonight. Goldust suggests putting worms somewhere and Booker freaks out. Booker and Sharmell leave and unfortunately there’s no Wrestlemania dance party.

Backlash ad. Hey I was there.

Some celebrities are here.

Booker T/Sharmell vs. Boogeyman

The idea here is that Booker and Sharmell are terrified. Booker makes Sharmell start but jumps Boogeyman to get things going. There’s a bunch of smoke in the arena from Boogeyman’s entrance and you can barely see anything. Boogeyman starts no selling stuff including the Book End which doesn’t even get a cover. The ax kick misses and a forearm puts Booker down. Boogey eats a big handful of worms but Sharmell picks up his staff. She tries to sneak up on him but SCREAMS to make sure Boogey hears her. A wormy kiss sends Sharmell running and the chokebomb ends Booker for the pin.

Rating: F. Do I really need to explain this? Booker would somehow be world champion in four months. I don’t get the idea behind Boogeyman and it never worked at all. This match didn’t need to be a handicap match either as Sharmell didn’t add a thing to the entire match. The stupid smoke was annoying too.

We recap Trish vs. Mickie. Mickie showed up as the psycho (and HOT) Trish stalker/lesbian luster. Trish turned her down so Mickie snapped and kicked her in the head. Mickie then kidnapped Trish’s friend Ashley and laid out Trish as she tried to save Ashley. Mickie kissed the unconscious Trish, sending 12 year olds everywhere into a frenzy.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

Mickie is challenging and has those awesome skirts that go all over the place. Trish is looking great too with the usual attire but showing her stomach as well. Trish is all aggressive here and chops Mickie down into the splits. They head to the floor but the Chick Kick hits the post. Mickie wraps the leg around the post and is still looking very psycho. Back in and a dropkick to the knee takes Trish down again, as does a dragon screw leg whip for two.

The fans chant for Mickie and I can’t say I blame them. Mickie wraps the leg around the ropes before driving it down into the mat for good measure. Off to a half crab followed by a knee crank but Trish power up and hooks a spinning headscissors to put James down. Trish comes back with the forearms and a spinebuster of all things for two. Trish’s corner splash hits feet but as Mickie goes up, Stratus tries the Stratusphere but gets slammed down for a sexy two. A rana is countered into a powerbomb for two and Trish is TICKED.

Trish tries the Matrish but the knee gives out. Instead she tries Stratusfaction but Mickie gropes Trish’s crotch to break it up. It’s exactly what it sounds like. Mickie licks her fingers so Trish DRILLS HER with a forearm. Trish keeps firing away but the knee gives out, and then the match falls off the rails. Mickie tries the Stratusfaction but COMPLETELY misses the rope, making it almost look like a botched atomic drop by Trish. Instead Mickie hits a lame Chick Kick to end Trish’s reign. JR sums it up perfectly: “The nutjob won the title!”

Rating: B-. This was one of the best Divas matches ever but the ending cripples it. The idea here was that it wasn’t a women’s match but rather a match featuring women in it. These two were beating each other up and Trish had real emotion out there. Mickie was PERFECT for this character and you really felt like she had a screw loose. The sexuality was there but it wasn’t the focus which is nice for a change. It’s nice to see a real story and a real fight between two people who happen to be gorgeous women. Good stuff here.

Vince leads his family in a prayer before his match with Shawn. Vince: “God, I don’t like you and you don’t like me.” That’s where it starts and I think you get the idea.

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

This is a casket match and WAY before Henry got awesome. Druids bring out the casket surrounded by torches. Basically Henry has beaten up Undertaker and isn’t scared of the dark. No one on the planet thought Henry had a chance here. I’d bet even his mama didn’t. Henry pounds away to start and no sells a few clotheslines before running Taker over. They trade shots into the steps with Henry taking control before heading back inside. Back in and Henry chokes Undertaker down like he’s not even there.

Taker fights back but has Old School broken up with ease. The casket is opened but Taker kicked his way to safety. The Dead Man gets back to his feet and manages to hit Old School this time but it doesn’t drop Henry. A Downward Spiral is easily blocked and Henry controls again by choking on the ropes. Henry misses a charge though and lands in the casket, only to pull Taker down in with him.

They fight out of the casket and head back into the ring where Taker charges into the World’s Strongest Slam but Henry covers on instinct instead of carrying Taker to the casket. Henry makes the incredibly stupid yet eternally made mistake of pounding down on Taker in the corner, only to be powerbombed out of the corner. Mark is knocked out to the floor where Taker hits hit HUGE Taker Dive to put Henry down again. Back in and there’s the Tombstone, allowing Taker to put Henry in the casket to win.

Rating: D+. It’s Mark Henry and this is long before the career resurgence he had in 2011. There was never any doubt that Taker would win his signature match against a guy who just wasn’t on his level. Not a good Mania match here for Taker, but he would win the world title at the next two editions so he would be ok soon.

We recap Vince vs. Shawn. Back in December, Vince had been talking about Montreal again and Shawn finally said let it go before nearly superkicking Vince. This led to Vince basically declaring war on Shawn, eventually leading to a street fight here tonight.

Vince McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels

Oh wait actually this is no holds barred rather than a street fight because they’re such different things. Before the match Vince unveils a poster version of his cover of Muscle and Fitness magazine, which is indeed pretty impressive. Shawn will have none of this though and goes after the boss, pounding away at him and throwing him over the announce table for good measure. Vince gets choked out with a cable as the commentators lose their equipment.

Shawn cracks Vince over the head with his poster and here’s the Spirit Squad to try to save Vince. They’re five cheerleaders (one of them being Dolph Ziggler) who beat up Shawn with their five man lifting slam, but Kenny misses a guillotine legdrop. Shawn gets their megaphone and beats all of them up while Vince is getting a breather. The breather allows Vince to get in a clothesline and take over for a bit.

McMahon rips off his own belt to whip and choke Shawn but his attempt at Sweet Chin Music is easily blocked. The forearm puts Vince down and there’s a whipping for Vince. There’s the top rope elbow but as Shawn tunes up the band, here’s Shane to blast him with a kendo stick. Shane pulls out handcuffs but before they tie Shawn up, Vince takes down his pants. Yeah they’re doing this at Wrestlemania. Shane tries to send Shawn’s face in but Michaels reverses and we get a very disturbing father/son bonding moment.

Shawn hits Vince low and handcuffs Shane to the ropes. After throwing the key into the crowd and doing Shane’s dance, Shawn pounds him with the kendo stick and pulls out a chair. A BIG chair shot cracks Vince’s head open even more than it already was. Instead of kicking Vince’s head off though, Shawn pulls out a ladder. After ramming that into Vince’s head too, Shawn pulls out some trashcans to beat on Vince with as well.

There’s a table thrown in too and this can’t end well. Vince is placed on the table but Shawn isn’t pleased with the ladder he’s got. Instead he gets the jumbo ladder and puts the trashcan over Vince’s head. Shawn climbs the jumbo ladder and drops the BIGGEST ELBOW EVER through Vince through the table. The Sweet Chin Music is the icing on the carnage and it’s finally over.

Rating: C+. This is a hard one to grade as it’s really closer to a long segment than a match. Shawn DESTROYED Vince here and that’s what the whole thing was supposed to be. Unfortunately this feud would keep going for about six more months with DX reuniting to fight Vince and all his cronies. Still though, it was certainly entertaining and that’s all it was supposed to be.

Vince is wheeled out on a stretcher but still manages to flip off Shawn. That’s so Vince.

Wrestlemania 23 is coming to Detroit.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match, or the Eddie Guerrero Tribute match. You can call it either thing really as they’re the same thing. Guerrero died five months ago and Rey dedicated his Royal Rumble performance to Eddie, so of course he won. Randy Orton told Rey that Eddie was burning, which was enough to get Rey to put his title shot on the line at No Way Out.

Rey lost, but Teddy Long made it a triple threat with Rey involved, even though Rey lost a fair bet to Orton. This gets the music video, set to I Dare You by Shinedown. Oh and Kurt Angle is world champion coming into this and couldn’t be more of an afterthought. He was in Wrestling Machine mode at this point though and was completely made of awesome.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton

P.O.D. plays Rey to the ring. Rey comes out in some freaky looking eagle headdress which I guess is a Mexican thing. During Angle’s entrance, Orton grabs the belt from the referee and blasts Kurt in the face to send him to the floor. Rey tries a springboard cross body but Orton dropkicks him out of the air for two. Angle is back in now for a German suplex on Orton before suplexing BOTH GUYS AT ONCE. Angle is amazing, period.

Orton hits his backbreaker on Angle for two of his own as this is very fast paced to start. A belly to belly puts Orton down and Kurt puts Randy on the top for something, but Rey charges at Angle to break it up. Angle instead launches Rey up at Randy who is taken down in a SWEET hurricanrana by the masked dude. The ankle lock to Orton is quickly broken up by Rey and a big kick to Kurt’s head gets two. The fans chant for the 619 but as Rey loads it up, Kurt grabs the legs into the ankle lock with the grapevine.

Orton distracts the referee as Rey taps before finally breaking up the hold. Angle starts busting out the Germans and an Angle Slam puts Rey on the floor. The ankle lock goes on Randy and there’s a grapevine for good measure. Orton taps but now Rey pulls the referee out and covers his eyes in a pretty brilliant move. Back to the ankle lock but Rey drops the dime on Angle to break it up. The fans are booing Rey for some reason.

Mysterio misses a charge into the corner and slams his shoulder into the corner. The Angle Slam to Orton is countered into an RKO but since this is Wrestlemania it only gets two. Randy limps to the top rope for some reason and you just don’t do that with Kurt Angle in the ring. There’s the running up the corner suplex but Rey tries the 619 around the post. I say try because he slips off the apron and has to just kick Angle in the head for two.

Angle is kicked to the floor and there’s an over the shoulder backbreaker into a neckbreaker for two on Rey. I love that move. Randy loads up the RKO but gets Angle Slammed for two for Kurt. The Angle Slam to Rey is escaped and an armdrag sends Angle to the floor. The 619 and West Coast Pop to Orton give Mysterio the title.

Rating: C-. Uh…..what? No seriously, where’s the rest of this match? The Smackdown World Title match with a new champion gets less than nine and a half minutes at Wrestlemania? It was entertaining while it lasted, but there are Smackdown main events that get twice the amount of time this got. Was Rey ever even in trouble in this match? I’m guessing the match got cut short, but we had nearly 20 minutes for Vince to get beaten up? This is a head scratcher if there’s ever been one.

Chavo and Vickie celebrate with Rey.

Cena and HHH are getting ready in the back.

Candace Michelle vs. Torrie Wilson

This is your Playboy match of the year. Lillian screwing up the hometowns is the most entertaining thing about this match. They’re in their underwear and this is a pillow fight. Torrie coming out to what would become Laycool’s music is rather odd. What do you want here? There’s a bed in the ring, stuff is turned over, Torrie wins after like FOUR MINUTES. Remember that: this got four minutes, the Smackdown World Title got nine.

Rating: F. Were you expecting more here? Next.

Video on the Wrestlemania press conference.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. John Cena

HHH, known as the King of Kings, is in what can best be described as viking attire and rises up out of the stage on a throne. He had Thor’s hammer next to him and a bottle of water in his hand which doesn’t quite fit. Before Cena comes out we get a newsreel about Chicago in the Great Depression. The stage raises up and a car from the 30s drives out, complete with machine gun toting gangsters (one of which was played by future WWE Champion and Cena rival CM Punk who we’ll get back to later).

Cena comes out in a fedora and the shorts shooting a Tommy gun. After the big match intros (the announcer introducing them when they’re in opposite corners) we’re ready to go. HHH grabs a quick hammerlock and takes Cena down to frustrate him a bit. Cena gets caught in a wristlock and sent into the corner again as the fans tell Cena that he sucks. All HHH so far. With nothing else working, Cena tries a quick FU but gets punched in the face. After about four minutes of nothing significant, Cena is thrown to the floor, only to come back in with right hands.

A quick fisherman’s suplex gets two for Cena and it’s off to a chinlock by the champ. The fans tell Cena that he can’t wrestle and HHH fights up. A hard whip sends HHH over the corner and out to the floor but he pokes Cena in the eye to break Cena’s momentum. HHH can’t piledrive Cena on the floor though and gets backdropped onto the steel instead. Back in and HHH hits the jumping knee to the face to a big reaction.

Back to the floor we go and Cena is whipped hard into the steps. They head inside again for a facebuster from the challenger and a big old clothesline for two. A neckbreaker gets the same as the fans alternate between “screw you Cena” and “Cena sucks.” Off to a neck crank by the Game which is transitioned into a sleeper and then a chinlock. The champ shoves him off and hits a clothesline to put both guys down again. Back up and Cena fires off some more clotheslines followed by a powerslam for no cover.

The spinning mat slam puts HHH down but the Game pops up for a spinebuster to block the Shuffle. Back to the sleeper but Cena almost immediately suplexes his way out of it. Now the Shuffle hits and there’s Cena’s new submission hold the STFU. HHH grabs a rope but Cena is in the zone now. The FU is countered but Cena is shoved into the referee.

HHH hits both of them low and gets the sledgehammer which goes upside Cena’s head. Since this is Wrestlemania though it only gets two instead of putting Cena in need of perpetual care. Back up and HHH charges into the FU for two so Cena goes up top. A cross body misses and HHH tries the Pedigree, only to be countered into the STF. With nowhere else to go, HHH taps out and keeps the title on Cena.

Rating: B-. This is one of the recurring problems with HHH matches: when he tries to have a big epic match it rarely works. Cena got a solid rub out of beating him here but at the same time the match wasn’t all that great. It felt like a way to make Cena a big deal rather than have a match between the two of them. It also didn’t help that there was no real issue between the two of them.

A highlight package ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is one of the most forgettable Wrestlemanias in history. There’s nothing of note on here, none of the matches are great other than a middle of the show hardcore match which led to some great stuff. Batista being gone hurt this show a lot as Cena wasn’t quite ready to shoulder the weight of Wrestlemania yet. It’s not horrible, but it’s totally forgettable and not required viewing at all.

Ratings Comparison

Big Show/Kane vs. Carlito/Chris Masters

Original: D+

Redo: C

Rob Van Dam vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Ric Flair vs. Finlay vs. Matt Hardy vs. Bobby Lashley

Original: B

Redo: B

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit

Original: D+

Redo: C+

Edge vs. Mick Foley

Original: A

Redo: A

Boogeyman vs. Booker T/Sharmell

Original: F

Redo: F

Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus

Original: B

Redo: B-

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

Original: D

Redo: D+

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle

Original: F

Redo: F

HHH vs. John Cena

Original: A-

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: D+

In the first one I said it wasn’t something I’d want to see again. Apparently that was accurate as the rating PLUNGED on a second viewing.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/29/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-22-i-barely-remember-this-show/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania 22
Date: April 2, 2006
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 17,159
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz
America The Beautiful: Michelle Williams

Now this is an interesting show. We’re now fully into what I guess you would call the modern era of both the company and Mania. Cena is the dominant world champion, Orton was his evil self, Taker’s Streak is at full power and Shawn is his Christian self. This show is much like 19: it’s solid, but easily forgettable for some reason. The wrestling is good but at the same time nothing jumps off the page at you.

This is also Kurt Angle’s more or less swan song in WWE as far as major angles go. He was drafted to ECW a few months later and after that did little to anything of note until his release and arrival in TNA. Jeff Hardy was about four months away from his comeback. The card looks somewhere between good and better than good so let’s get to it.

An added factor to this show is that I went to the follow up Raw exclusive PPV, Backlash, the next month. Since I remember it fairly well, I’ll be able to throw in some post show stuff leading up to Backlash.

After America the Beautiful it’s the standard history package to start with I Dare You by Shinedown playing which is a very good song here. The recap videos are something that WWE has always done very well. I don’t remember much of this buildup as it was three years ago but the packages help a lot. The theme song here is Big Time which is a bad pop song. Wrestlemania is supposed to have a freaking ROCK song with it, not a bad pop song.

A video runs us through the main matches and I have to think of the stupid Rey main event tour. Also tonight it’s Cena vs. HHH and Shawn vs. Vince. This is one of the weaker Manias as far as cards go if you didn’t get that.
Raw Tag Titles: Big Show/Kane vs. Carlito/Chris Masters

This was around the time that the two giants were just crushing everyone in their paths with reckless abandon. Carlito and Masters were two young guys that weren’t quite thrown together to face them here. As usual the Chicago crowd is white hot. Kane and Show come out together and weigh over 800lbs. How in the world is Kane the lightweight on a team?

Masters vs. Kane to start us off here. This is the first time in seven years that the titles have been defended at Mania in a traditional tag match. That’s kind of pathetic when you think about it. Show comes in and drills Masters a bit. Big chop in the corner makes people say WOO even though it’s a different kind of chop than Flair threw.

Show slams him and steps on the chest of Masters who tags out to Carlito. The Puerto Rican tries a wristlock and is promptly lifted up into the air and crotched with ease. Show launches Carlito onto Masters on the floor. Kane throws out a clothesline to both but lands between them resulting in a massive THUD on the floor but is up first. Total and complete dominance so far.

Somehow the challengers got the buckle off and Carlito dropkicks Show’s knee to send Show’s head into the buckle. Off to Masters now but like idiots they try a double suplex and get launched for their troubles. Kane comes in and a huge backdrop takes down Carlito.

Carlito gets a boot up and that more or less ends his offense. Masters manages to get the Masterlock on Kane but Show kicks him in the face to break it. Backstabber to Kane but Carlito walks into a chokeslam. Masters saves but Kane gets up. There’s no end to these guys. Chokeslam to Carlito ends this.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t a classic but it wasn’t supposed to be. This was little more than a glorified squash and that’s just fine for an opener. Both teams would be split up within a month though as the heels argued over who cost them the match here, leading to the Backlash opener which the newly face Carlito would win with a Backstabber. Kane and Show would lose the tag titles to the Spirit Squad of all people and Kane would begin to go insane.

They began a weird tweener vs. face feud where Kane’s voice would play throughout the arena as somehow not only could we hear his thoughts but they were wired around the arena. It tied in somehow to Kane’s See No Evil movie, but it was still pretty bad. It culminated with a fake Kane, apparently from Kane’s past, beating Kane at Vengeance. It made no sense and was a total waste of about three months.

Masters and Carlito argue post match with the fans supporting Carlito.

Shawn says he doesn’t regret telling Vince that Vince needed to grow up because it was the truth. He talks about how he’s always stealing the show at Mania but not to expect a five star classic out of HBK. Tonight is about violence because tonight it’s Vince that needs to pray as tonight Vince is enduring his own personal torment.
Money in the Bank

Matt Hardy, Shelton Benjamin, Finlay, Ric Flair, Lashley, Rob Van Dam
Lillian in that dress with the cut down to her stomach made me lose consciousness for a bit there. Shelton is IC Champion here so no defense of it again. All four commentators are talking here. Van Dam is pretty clearly the most popular guy here. Lashley is a freaking beast. Flair comes out last because I guess he’s the most exciting one with a ladder? That pink robe kind of makes me think he’s not very extreme.

This is only the second of the matches so there isn’t really a track record. RVD chant to start as Lashley destroys everyone with power. Matt brings in the first ladder but Van Dam hits a baseball slide to stop it from coming in and dives on the ladder onto Hardy. No one is in the ring at the moment until Finlay vs. Shelton goes on there. Shelton hammers him with a ladder which is set up in front of the ropes like a ramp. Shelton gets a running start and hits a big flip off of it onto everyone not named Flair.

Finlay and Flair go up but the ladder isn’t in the right place for Flair. Matt goes up and suplexes the young 57 year old down. Flair is in agony and the referee throws up the X for him. Hey, did you know he broke his back in a plane crash in the 70s? Didn’t know if the first million or so times we told you that got it through or not. RVD drops Shelton onto the ladder but misses Rolling Thunder on it. There are only five people in there still at the moment.

Lashley goes up very slowly of course but Shelton runs up only to get popped in the head. Shelton fights him off but can’t get a sunset bomb to take him down. Matt and Finlay help him out and down goes Lashley finally. Another big RVD chant starts up. Matt takes over on offense but when he puts a ladder in front of Finlay to charge at him Finlay throws the ladder at him for a FREAKING OW MAN moment.

Here comes Flair because he hasn’t been on camera for almost five minutes. Did he need to be oiled or something? Since the ring is empty he sets up a ladder but is stopped by Matt. Flair chops some people away and touches the case. Finlay pops up with the club that no one can spell and takes Flair down. The case is swinging though so Shelton is able to stop him or at least slow him down.

Shelton knocks him down and tries to go up but Lashley shoves it down. Van Dam hasn’t been seen in a good while. Oh there he is with a chair on the top. He jumps off and dropkicks the chair into the ladder and everyone is down. Hardy, the idiot that he is, sets up a ladder in the corner. Oh instead he’s doing a signature move instead of trying to win. What a shock.

He goes up and gets a hand on it, drawing a ton of boos. Finlay makes the save and we’re told he’s not a ladder specialist. Dude you go up. How hard can it be? Side Effect to Finlay off the ladder takes down Finlay, Hardy and the ladder. Van Dam climbs the ladder in the corner and drops a regular splash on Finlay. It’s good that he didn’t do the Five Star version as he would have killed himself.

In one of my all time favorite spots, Van Dam goes up top but Shelton springboards from the apron to the top rope to the ladder to catch Van Dam. That’s simply incredible and beats everything I’ve ever seen. Matt puts up another ladder but he and Shelton go down. Van Dam is alone and is like dude that’s awesome and wins the match by pulling down the case. He would win the title in June but lose it in three weeks due to getting high with Sabu.

Rating: B. Solid stuff here of course but WAY too short to be a great match. This was less than twelve and a half minutes long to give you an idea of how short it was. This was good but at the same time they needed more to it. Also with only Lashley and Van Dam being legit contenders out there it was a bit weaker than last year. Good match though.

Josh Matthews, with a lot of hair, is with Gene Okerlund who has no hair. Orton interrupts and says he’ll win the title tonight. Batista pops up and says he’s returning soon, which is true. Just three short months later he did return.

It’s time for the Hall of Fame class to come out. Bret Hart isn’t here which is understandable I guess. The rest is Mean Gene, Sensational Sherri, Tony Atlas (they’re all accompanied by Divas here if that means anything), Verne Gagne, William “Refrigerator” Perry (he couldn’t get a suit for this?) the Blackjacks, Eddie Guerrero (represented by Vickie who wasn’t a TV character yet) and of course Bret who isn’t here.

United States Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit
No real storyline here as it’s really just JBL challenging him for the belt. In a really cool looking visual, the entrance ramp rises up like a garage and JBL’s limo drives out of it. Good lord Jillian Hall looks amazingly hot as a cowgirl. JBL has a hand injury here. JBL grabs a headlock to start and takes Benoit down with a shoulder. Benoit tries the Crossface out of nowhere but can’t lock it in.

Instead Chris settles for some hard chops in the corner. Out to the floor and JBL hides behind Jillian to take over. Benoit tries to chop back so JBL KICKS HIM IN THE FACE. Why mess with what works? Rolling Germans by Benoit must have JBL wanting to throw out some Nazi salutes. Benoit goes but get crotched. Eh with all those steroids in him the balls didn’t feel anything. JBL does Eddie’s dance to draw big heat and hits a superplex for two.

In a stat that I find almost impossible to believe, Cole says that only 5 matches in Mania history have ended in submission. I had to stop the match and go back to check on that. I found 7: Angle vs. HBK (21), Benoit vs. HBK vs. HHH (20), Rick Martel vs. Koko B. Ware (6), Steve Austin vs. Savio Vega (12-sleeper) Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin (13-Austin never tapped so I’m not sure if that counts), Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis (3-sleeper) and Bret Hart vs. Bob Backlund (11).

Even with Cole being wrong, that’s still amazing. 7 in the first 21 shows meaning just one every three years. That’s either really impressive or really bad. Anyway JBL dances a bit more and hits Three Amigos. Benoit counters the third one but gets kicked in the face for two for his troubles. Off to a chinlock by JBL as things slow down a bit.

Benoit fights back and does Three Amigos of his own with Cole saying “this is how it’s done”, despite Benoit getting up differently than Eddie did. JBL did the same thing Eddie did. Flying headbutt by Benoit gets a long two. Clothesline misses but JBL grabs the referee to avoid the suplex. Clothesline attempt #2 is caught into the Crossface but JBL casually rolls him over and grabs the rope for the title. That’s the ending? Really?

Rating: D+. Seriously, that’s all there is here? The ending was flat out terrible. It made no sense at all and came from nowhere. JBL literally wasn’t in the Crossface for two seconds, and I timed it, before he rolled out. This match felt like it didn’t have a beginning and started at about 5 minutes in if that makes sense. Really not that good at all.

We recap the hardcore match between Edge vs. Mick Foley. Now this is the match this show is remembered for and with good reason. The story is that Edge stole the WWE Title from Cena using his MITB contract. Foley was the referee for some reason during the rematch, won by Cena. Edge of course says it was biased officiating. That leads to Edge challenging Foley, but Foley saying it’s hardcore. We get this.
Edge vs. Mick Foley
Joey Styles is on commentary here as he freaking well should be. Lita looks INSANELY hot here with the Edge vest, bra and jeans. Good freaking lord. Edge has a ball bat with him. Edge’s facial expressions as Foley comes to the ring makes this match already. That’s his best asset and always has been. When he gets in a big match, Edge’s face is just amazing. Foley has his (blue) flannel shirt on so you know he’s serious here.

Styles actually analyzes Foley’s choice of flannel which is a bit odd. Styles really is a great choice for commentary here as his voice just fits this. Edge swings away with the bat almost immediately which gets him nowhere. Tree of Woe by Edge early as Foley drops an elbow on him. Edge gets a shot in and has Lita hand him a cookie sheet.

These shots are LOUD. Foley takes a street sign to the head and rubs hit stomach. Do the sheets smell like cookies? Edge hits the spear after maybe two minutes and is writhing in pain from it. Foley gets up and rips off the blue flannel to reveal a belt made of barbed wire and the RED FLANNEL SHIRT!!! Foley whips him with the barbed wire and Edge is bleeding from the arm.

Edge is now tied up in the rope and the crowd pops for it. Foley hits the floor and finds Barbie, the barbed wire baseball bat. Lita comes in for the save by jumping on Foley’s back (seriously is there anyone she won’t hit on?) so Foley is like screw it and we get a Cactus Clothesline to the floor. That and a neckbreaker outside both get two.

It appears Foley has become Cactus Jack but when he tries a running knee into Edge into the steps he gets hip blocked into the steps which looked awful. Again the knees go into the steps. Does anyone wonder why Foley can barely walk anymore? Chair time by Edge. Sorry that there aren’t many jokes in this but there’s not much to make fun of. Edge hits the floor again and busts out a table.

Foley rolls off before Edge can put him through it so instead he just rams him into the steel of the ramp. That sound made me cringe. Back in the ring now and Edge has…oh blast it he has lighter fluid. He pours it on Foley but Mick is able to get a Piledriver to save his own life. Using a cookie sheet instead of a second chair Edge almost takes a Conchairto. He manages to get up and give Foley a DDT (not) on the cookie sheet.

Edge with Barbie now (is Lita Ken?) and he hammers Foley with it to draw blood. A bulldog onto Barbie gets two. Out to the floor goes Edge and he finds a bag of tacks. Oh dear. Apparently he had a bunch of weapons hidden underneath the stairs. Foley manages to reverse though and suplexes Edge onto the tacks. Considering Edge wasn’t wearing a shirt that was awesome.

Here’s Socko but Foley wraps it in barbed wire. Claw to Lita as well and now Foley has Barbie (make sure to use protection since Edge already had her). Edge takes a shot to the head and is busted open as well. Oh man he’s cut BAD. Foley, the nice guy that he is, rips the barbed wire deeper into the skin of our Canadian villain.

Foley finds the lighter fluid and holds it up like a treasure in a Zelda game. The table gets soaked in it and yep they light it on fire. In the famous spot from this show, Edge dives through the ropes and spears Foley into the flaming table, burning both men in the process. The pin is academic.

Rating: A. They wanted to make Edge look awesome and they certainly did it here. Foley looked great too as once in awhile he can break out a great match and that’s what he did here. This was exactly what they needed and was enough to let Edge get back into the main event. Great match and the Mania moment that both guys were looking for. In true WWE style, they would be partners weeks later.

Foley gets a standing ovation to leave.
Booker and Sharmell are in the back and Sharmell is freaking over Boogeyman. Booker says he’s not a freak magnet. He then runs into Pirate Paul Burchill and then Ted DiBiase and Eugene doing the basketball thing as I mark out. The basketball thing was where DiBiase would say that if a guy could bounce a basketball 100 times in a row he would give them 1000 dollars.

On about 97 he would kick it away. He laughs and offers Booker a chance at it, saying everybody’s got a price for the Million Dollar Man. Seriously people, go look up his old stuff. In my opinion, he is still the greatest heel that ever lived. One more note about the basketball trick, back in the 80s, a young man from Battle Creek, Michigan named Rob was swindled by DiBiase. He eventually changed his name to Rob Van Dam.

He also finds Snitsky licking Mae Young’s toes and Goldust dressed as Oprah. I love these kinds of segments. Goldie says Booker has to accept the freak in him to beat the Boogeyman. There’s talk of worms in mouths and in a place that Booker is angry over having Goldust whisper to him. DiBiase’s laugh takes us off.

Ad for Backlash. Hey I was there!

We see some sweepstakes winners that no one cares about.

Joe Theisman and Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child are here.

Booker T/Sharmell vs. Boogeyman

The idea here is Booker keeps faking injuries to get out of matches and is threatened with being fired if he doesn’t wrestle. He was found out anyway and here’s your result. Oh and they’re both terrified of Boogey. Yes Booker, a five time world champion, is terrified of the Boogeyman. Booker wants Sharmell to start us off. It’s weird to hear Cole as a normal announcer at this point.

Booker comes in and hammers away. This is about what you would expect: Booker pounds away, it doesn’t work, Boogey dances a lot and Booker still can’t hurt him. Book End hits and Boogeyman gets up at two. Booker is sent into the post and Boogeyman pulls out a pocket full of worms. He has a snack and Sharmell tries to hit Boogey with his staff. She gets kissed by a mouth full of worms and runs. Chokebomb ends this with Boogeyman winning.

Rating: F. If I need to explain this, you’re an idiot. Did Booker get caught screw Stephanie while giving TNA inside information and choking out Vince at the same time or something?

We recap Trish vs. Mickie. In short, Mickie was psycho and wanted Trish. This involved seeing Trish in the shower and kissing her. I think they dressed up as each other a few times also. Trish finally has enough and Mickie loses it. Trish has been champion for like a year at this point so the title change was long overdue. Watching this video, the build to this was pretty awesome.
Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

The main perk here would be their looks. Mickie would wear these really loose skirts which would often fly into the air. To the shock of no one, Trish looks incredible. It’s so ridiculous to see how far the Divas have fallen today. These girls have personality and are interesting and I want to see them fight after what felt like a somewhat epic storyline built around them.

Trish goes right after her and gets a Thesz Press to take her down. Big chop puts Mickie down. Trish knocks Mickie down into the splits and then kicks her in the head. Out to the floor and the Chick Kick hits the post to set the story for this match. Mickie works the knee because she’s intelligent despite being psycho.

She DDTs the leg for two as the fans are almost ALL behind Mickie here. Lots of knee work here which is the main thing involved in Trish’s finishers. She pulls Trish’s hair and slams Trish’s face into the mat in a painful looking move. Mickie jumps onto the leg and spins around, looking for praise.

Mickie is mixing up her offense on the leg between holds and strikes to it. See, THAT is important. It makes things far more interesting as instead of just sitting around with one thing we get a variety. She puts a leg bar on but Trish wraps her legs around Mickie’s head and gets a headscissors out of it. That was rather good actually.

They slug it out a bit more with neither girl having a real advantage. Mickie goes up but Trish catches her in the Stratusphere. Mickie counters that though and drapes the leg over the top rope again which gets two. Half crab is rolled up into a small package which gives us two and a great back shot. Mickie goes up again but is caught by a sitout powerbomb for two.

Trish hammers away and the Matrish avoids a kick of some sort. She sets for Startusfaction but Mickie rubs Trish’s crotch to break it up and then licks the hand that was down there. See, little things like that get the gimmick over. They set for the ending which is Mickie using the Stratusfaction but Mickie TOTALLY misses the rope and botches the heck out of it. A weak kick to the head ends it instead. JR’s line of THE NUTJOB HAS WON THE TITLE sums this up perfectly.

Rating: B. This would have been an A if not for the finish. I’m not sure which is better: the tiny outfits and how sexy both were in them or the fact that this was really a great match. The botch at the end almost kills this though, but aside from that it’s great and one of the best women’s matches I’ve ever seen. More importantly than anything though: I cared about it because there was an interesting storyline with developed characters. DO THAT MORE OFTEN!
All four McMahons are in the back and they pray. What do you really expect here?

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

This match came about after Henry was for some reason pushed as top heel on Smackdown, feuding with Angle for the title. Angle beat him clean at the Rumble and then Taker had Angle beat for the title on Smackdown but Henry attacked the dead man. Taker than challenged Henry to a Casket Match for some reason and we get this. No buildup video for this either as they’re not even trying to convince us the Streak is in jeopardy. Henry is of course not afraid of the dark.

Taker gets the big entrance with the druids. Oh wait that’s just for the casket. Hey we do get a brief recap. I see why it didn’t get a full one. Daivari is Henry’s manager at this point but isn’t here. This would lead to the debut of Great Khali. Henry jumps Taker during his entrance, more or less sealing his fate. Taker gets a big boot and clothesline but can’t take Henry down.

Clothesline by Henry shifts momentum a bit. Can you believe that this is the same guy that was able to have classics with Shawn and then on the other hand you have Henry who had been there ten years at this point and has gotten worse after starting bad? If you can’t tell I’m trying to not have to talk about the match. Henry goes into the steps, Taker goes into the steps, Old School is blocked and the casket is open.

No one in the world thought Henry had a chance here and the fans are more or less accepting that. When Henry is on offense there’s no heat at all. Taker gets a boot to the shoulder and hammers away on it. Old School hits this time and Henry still won’t go down. Taker tries a Downward Spiral but is blocked, drawing a Henry Sucks chant.

Henry goes after Taker but misses, landing in the casket. Taker winds up in there also and they fight in there for a bit. Taker reaches up and chokes away as this is already needing to end. Back in the ring with Taker striking but he jumps into the World’s Strongest Slam for no cover as Henry isn’t that intelligent. Taker stands up in the casket and gets out rather easily.

Taker gets beaten down in the corner and then like the moron that he is, Henry climbs up to pound down punches. When do you see Taker try cross bodies or Henry do that? Not a fan of moves like those. Taker doesn’t get a Last Ride but more or less falls forward to put Henry down. Henry goes onto the casket so Taker dives over it to take him down. Tombstone in the ring and the ending is academic.

Rating: D. This was bad for one simple reason: there was no drama to it at all. Taker matches at Mania can work very well but at the same time there are matches where there’s no point to him being there, such as this one. I mean dude, Mark Henry? This was a joke and everyone knew it. Boring match and nothing happened at all.

There’s a Divas Lingerie show coming up or something.

We recap Shawn vs. Vince. There was a Raw in Montreal and Shawn apologized to the fans, who kind of accepted it. Vince comes out and laughs about it. Shawn says he needs to grow up, then throws a super kick at him, intentionally missing by as little a margin as he can. This launched a feud which mainly consisted of Vince trying to get Shawn hurt.

Marty Jannetty returned to try to help Shawn but was fired after something like two weeks. Shane faced Shawn on SNME in a street fight and they redid the Montreal finish. Somewhere in there Shawn was forced to kiss up to Vince. It was an ok feud but nothing great. The blowoff was supposed to be here, so let’s take a look. This was supposed to be Bret but he didn’t do it for four years.

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

Shawn comes out first which is kind surprising. Vince is demonic according to JR as he comes out. McMahon is very proud of his physique and can you blame him? He has a framed cover of his Muscle and Fitness magazine at ringside which might as well have an X on the middle for the part that goes on his head. Shawn goes straight to the floor and we head to the tables quickly.

JR loses his headset which makes this match more enjoyable. Shawn grabs the framed cover and cracks it over Vince’s head. JR is completely one sided here because of Vince treating him badly over the years or something. The Spirit Squad hits the ring to make it 6-1. Who would have thought that Dolph Ziggler (Nicky!) would be a world champion before Shawn?

They hit their finisher which is where they all grab the other guy and throw him into the air as high as they can. Kenny misses a guillotine legdrop and Mikey grabs the bullhorn which is applied to the sides of their heads. Vince is able to recuperate during that time and hammers away a bit. Off comes the belt and the whipping begins.

Vince sets for Sweet Chin Music which is caught. Maybe he should have tuned up with a little Stand Back before he did that. Shawn fires away with the forearm and nip up so he can whip Vince a bit. Top rope elbow hits and it’s time to Tune Up the Band. Cue Shane with a kendo stick to crack Shawn in the head.

With Shane standing guard, Vince takes down his own pants. Yep it’s time for the kissing spot but Shawn gets his momentum back and sends Shane’s face into his dad’s back. Shawn pulls handcuffs out of somewhere (Vince maybe?) and ties Shane to the rope. After doing Shane’s dance, Shawn beats the tar out of him with the stick.

Chair time and a HUGE shot puts Vince down. Shawn sets for chin music but stops as Vince collapses. Instead he hits the floor and pulls out a ladder. A shot to the head puts down Vince as I think you know what’s coming here. Vince is dripping blood here. Chin Music is stopped again as Vince is almost lifeless.

Shawn pulls out some garbage cans and a table. Shane is still cuffed mind you. The table is set up after a can shot. Shawn goes up the ladder with Vince on the table and then climbs down. He had a scary look on his face before he came down. Out to the floor again and it’s the BIG ladder. Lawler says it’s 30ft high, meaning Shawn is about 15 feet tall. Shawn fires a crotch chop from the ladder and drops the biggest elbow ever to kill Vince. Sweet Chin Music finally ends this with Vince just collapsing from it. The pin is academic of course.

Rating: C+. Well this was supposed to be a beating and that’s exactly what it was. Vince can take one heck of a beating when he has to and this was no exception. Shawn looked great here with the whole letting the old Shawn sneak in as his mind was being affected by Vince. Good beating but Vince had literally nothing for about 8 minutes at the end. Granted he wasn’t supposed to so that’s easily forgivable. Fun stuff but not great.

Vince flips off Shawn from the stretcher which is just classic.

WM 23 is coming to Detroit.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match. Angle is the champion. Rey won the Rumble in honor of Eddie Guerrero and last eliminated Randy Orton to win. Orton went insane heel by saying Eddie was burning and managed to get Rey vs. Orton at No Way Out for the Mania title shot. Orton won and Teddy just made it a triple threat because he could. You knew there would be a triple threat in there somehow. This gets the music video treatment tonight, set to I Dare You by Shinedown. Love that song.

Smackdown Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton

POD plays Rey to the ring which is always awesome to see. This would be cool but Rey has a massive headdress on which I think is taller than he is. Dang it Rey does no one look at you before you go out there? Orton is very cocky here and therefore awesome.

Kurt got the title when Batista was injured and Kurt won a battle royal. See, that’s the perk of having guys like him or Shawn. Got an injury? Need a totally credible main eventer to throw in there? How about Kurt Angle or Shawn Michaels as world champion? I think most people would be cool with that. I would be.

Orton jumps Kurt and the fight is on. Kurt is on the floor and Orton gets a dropkick on Rey for two. Angle gets back in and grabs a German on Orton. Then he suplexes both at once and Rey goes FLYING. That was awesome looking. Angle is all fired up here. Belly to belly to Orton as Kurt is killing it. Rey hammers away at baldie and the fans audibly boo. But it’s about EDDIE!!!

In a great spot, Orton is sitting on the ropes and Rey charges at Angle. Angle grabs him and launches him over Kurt’s head and Rey lands in a perfect rana on Orton for two. Angle suplexes Orton back into the ring and the fans are behind him. Rey gets a kick to Kurt’s head to take him down for two. The fans chant 619 and Rey gets a headscissors to Kurt who crawls into the 619 position like an idiot.

Ok maybe not so much of an idiot as Kurt grabs the ankle lock out of nowhere. Orton distracts the referee so the tapping by Rey isn’t seen. Kurt and Orton slug it out but I guess Kurt gets bored so he suplexes everyone in sight and hits the Angle Slam to Rey to the floor. Ankle lock to Orton and Kurt gets the grapevine. Rey pulls the referee out as Orton taps so Kurt has won twice in theory.

Kurt throws it on again but this time Rey drops the dime to break it up for two. Fans aren’t thrilled by that at all. Rey is sent into the post but Orton counters the Angle Slam and hits the RKO for two. Randy goes up so Kurt pops up the corner and gets the belly to belly. Rey botches the 619 then does it right.

Seated Senton gets two on Kurt. Orton kicks Kurt to the floor and gets a slick backbreaker into a neckbreaker for two on Rey. He sets for the RKO but Angle hits the Slam on him for two. Rey avoids the Slam and sends Kurt to the floor via an armdrag. 619 sets up the West Coast Pop to Orton to give Rey his first world title in less than ten minutes. Seriously, that’s it?

Rating: D+. Seriously, that’s it? The match was ok but for a world title match at Wrestlemania, that’s it? How many world title matches have you seen at Wrestlemania that don’t crack nine and a half minutes? The title reign was awful, namely due to him being booked like a joke but that’s another story. The match was ok but I thought it was clipped as it was so ridiculously short.

HHH and Cena are getting ready. The fans are clearly behind HHH here, openly booing Cena. Ross says most of the fans are traditional as he’s clearly out of stuff to talk about. Maybe a match ran short? LOUD Cena Sucks chant.

Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle

This is a Playboy Pillow Fight and the reason they were stalling I guess. Candice is introduced from the wrong city. JR says the gate tonight is over $2 million dollars. That’s insane to say the least, especially considering this isn’t a stadium and has less than 20,000 people. Torrie’s music was recycled and is now used by Laycool. She has a freaking dog with her. Ross makes my head feel better by saying the next show is in Lexington. That made me smile.

These two had both been in Playboy. There’s a bed in the ring and pillows and all that jazz. You win by pin or submission. Do I need to explain what’s going on here? They’ve in evening gowns, they don’t stay on long, Torrie wins and they’re in very little clothing. We’re done. This got nearly 4 minutes. Yes, this got almost half as long as the world title match. This couldn’t have been added to that match perhaps? I guess not.

Rating: F. Long, dull, and a waste of my time.

We see some clips from the Wrestlemania press conference. Cena and HHH cut basic promos about being champion post show.

No real backstory here. Cena was champion and HHH won some worthless tournament.
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. HHH

HHH comes out looking like Conan’s mostly metrosexual brother. He’s wearing a fur pelt and a crown and a breastplate. He rises from a throne to play up the King of Kings bit. He looks absurd but at least after a few seconds we switch over to All About The Game which is a better song I think.

We then see…a newsreel about the Great Depression? Yes indeed, as we hear about the rise of Capone and organized crime in Chicago. The stage rises again as a 1930s era car comes out and fake gangsters armed with Tommy guns ride out. As a geek note, the one on camera side is clearly none other than CM Punk! Total mark out moment for me there as the gangsters surround the ring.

Even the fans are confused here. Cena’s music finally hits and he is booed out of the freaking building. He comes out in a black suit and fedora which would have been awesome had it not been for him wearing shorts and making the trench coat look like a bathrobe. He fires some blanks (honey it happens to a lot of guys I swear) and throws off the coat to reveal his t-shirt and the main event black shorts. We get the big match introductions which will never get old.

HHH is introduced as the Cerebral Assassin, the King of Kings, the Game, the 10 Time Champion. Cena is introduced as the Dr. of Thuganomics. They even get checked for weapons. That’s not something you see anymore. After a long staredown process they lock up and HHH grabs a headlock into a hammerlock. Technical stuff to start here.

Back to the arm stuff as we’re in a feeling out process here. The fans are all over Cena with a huge F YOU CENA chant. Cena tries an FU early but HHH reverses and DRILLS Cena with a right hand to take him down. Cena has to reset a bit as a HHH chant starts. The Game throws him to the floor as they definitely haven’t gotten going full speed yet.

HHH plays to the crowd but Cena sneaks up on him and hammers away. Back drop gets two. Fisherman’s Suplex with a floatover gets two also and we hit the chinlock. YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chant starts up which is just hilarious at this point. Cena throws him into the corner and HHH goes over the top and out to the floor. Out onto the aisle and HHH wants a Piledriver but is backdropped onto the steel instead.

Cena’s main offense has been the right hand and I can’t blame him at all for that. HHH fights back and chokes away. Out to the floor for a bit and Cena’s shoulder goes into the steps. Now why would HHH let the referee count? It’s giving Cena a chance to breathe and he won’t win the title that way. I guess you could argue it lets HHH rest.

Back in and HHH hits a suplex and Flair knee drop. Facebuster gets a big pop and a clothesline puts Cena down for two. HHH is covering after almost every move or two that he does which is a very nice thing for him to do. It makes him seem like he wants to win every time which is the idea. They slug it out but another neckbreaker takes Cena down for two.

Modified chinlock/neck vice goes on and Cena is in trouble. Cena fights up but walks into a sleeper. He hasn’t had a steady string of offense all match other than a brief one about 8 minutes ago. John fights out and takes HHH’s head off with a clothesline and both guys are down for a bit. Powerslam puts HHH down and Cena is in control.

Protoplex sets up the 5 Knuckle Shuffle. The shot of Cena looking at the crowd before he goes for it is great. HHH gets up and catches him in a spinebuster for a long two. Nice move there. Right back to the sleeper but Cena reverses quickly into the Shuffle which hits this time. He pumps the shoes and grabs the STFU out of nowhere.

In a nice show of strength though HHH crawls to the ropes and we’re not done yet. FU is reversed and the referee is crushed in the corner. HHH throws a low blow and hits both guys. Crotch chop to Cena as we have more DX foreshadowing. There’s the sledgehammer but Cena blocks it and hammers away (no pun intended) until a shot to the head takes him down. THAT somehow gets two.

Pedigree is reversed and here comes Cena. FU hits and gets two which results in an eruption from the crowd. Dang good match here so far. Cena has no idea what else to do as both of his finishers have more or less failed. A splash of all things misses but the Pedigree is countered into another STFU and the referee checks the arm. HHH keeps it up (Stephanie says yay!) but then after almost a minute in the hold HHH taps and Cena keeps the title.

Rating: A-. Great match here and definitely Mania main event worthy, but the problem comes down to this doesn’t feel epic. It’s a great match but at the same time it looks like just another title defense for Cena. This would have been a lot better if HHH had come in with the title and Cena had taken it here, but at the same time this worked fine.

Overall Rating: B. If there was a rating between B- and B this would get it. The whole thing is good overall but there are some spots that make you shake your head. For instance the Booker match, the pillow fight thing, the World Heavyweight Championship match, the MITB being so short etc. It’s a good shot, but it’s nothing I’d want to see over and over. It’s good for a rainy day but that’s about it. Recommended but not incredibly highly.

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 25, 2019
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young

We’re down to less than two weeks before Wrestlemania and the big story today (and one of the biggest in recent years) is that the Raw Women’s Title match will be headlining the show. It’s hard to fathom that something like this could actually happen, but that’s the case now and I really can’t believe I’m seeing it. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a discussion of the main event being announced, which is quite the sight to behold.

Here’s Ronda Rousey for a Beat the Clock Challenge but first, a chat. To a chorus of boos and WE WANT BECKY chants, Rousey says that women are main eventing Wrestlemania. That’s all she has to say so she drops the mic…and then picks it up, saying that she’s going to make both Charlotte and Becky tap at the same time. The mic gets dropped again and again she picks it up, saying she doesn’t know what a Beat The Clock Challenge is but it sounds like another BS gimmick so let’s get this over with.

The Riott Squad comes out as the opponents for Ronda, Becky and Charlotte but here’s Becky for a rebuttal first. Becky talks about how Ronda was handed everything when she came in but no one cared until the Man came around. At Wrestlemania, the night will end with Ronda’s title over Becky’s head and Ronda’s head under Becky’s boot. Now it’s Charlotte interrupting, saying that it’s not the last six months for Becky or the last year for Ronda, but everything since Charlotte debuted.

Beat the Clock Challenge: Ronda Rousey vs. Sarah Logan

This is the first of three matches with the competition being won by whomever has the fastest time. Logan bails to the floor to start and the chase is on until Sarah dives back inside. A modified Texas Cloverleaf has Rousey in trouble until she makes the rope. That means a Superman elbow to the face and the armbar to make Logan tap at 1:25.

Beat the Clock Challenge: Charlotte vs. Ruby Riott

Charlotte misses a running big boot to start and nearly gets thrown outside. Natural Selection misses as well and Ruby hits a quick Downward Spiral. The Riott Kick is countered into the Figure Eight but time expires at 1:25.

Beat the Clock Challenge: Becky Lynch vs. Liv Morgan

Charlotte boots Becky in the face before the clock starts and the screaming Morgan stomps in the corner. We hit the early chinlock as Rousey is looking confident on the stage. Becky rolls away and fires off the uppercuts. A kick to the ribs looks to set up the Disarm-Her but Becky gets rolled into the corner. Morgan goes for the leg but gets rolled up to give Becky the fast pin at 1:18 to win the challenge. This was a good idea as the wrestling didn’t mean anything, but Becky winning a match that plays into Ronda’s claim to fame is a smart way to go about things.

Finn Balor vs. Bobby Lashley/Lio Rush

If Balor wins, he gets a title shot at Wrestlemania. Rush is in street clothes though and says that he’s not medically cleared to compete thanks to Braun Strowman. Therefore, we have a replacement.

Finn Balor vs. Bobby Lashley/Jinder Mahal

If Balor wins, he gets an Intercontinental Title shot at Wrestlemania. The Singh Brothers offer an early distraction and Balor gets clotheslined to the floor as we take a fast break. Back with Balor making a comeback until the Singh Brothers trip him from the floor. That just means a big flip dive onto all four, followed by the Coup de Grace to pin Mahal at 4:47. Not enough shown to rate but it did exactly what it should have and needed to.

Elias is in Time Square for a performance when a guitar player comes up and sings. That’s enough for Elias, who is going to focus on headlining Wrestlemania.

Revival vs. Ricochet/Aleister Black

Non-title. It’s a brawl before the bell to start with Ricochet kicking Dawson to the floor and Wilder joining him in a hurry. The NXT chants begin (which would apply more to the Revival than Black/Ricochet) and we get the opening bell with Dawson sending Black into the corner. Black kicks his way out of a hammerlock and brings Ricochet in to pick up the pace. The Revival is sent to the floor and it’s the moonsault from Black, followed by one from Ricochet which barely makes contact.

Back from a break with Ricochet taking a double suplex but getting in a kick to the face for the tag off to Black. That means more kicks and a double standing Lionsault but Dawson takes him into the corner to regain control. It doesn’t last long though as Black Mass knocks Wilder silly, setting up the 630 for the pin at 8:38.

Rating: C. Not a bad match and it can set up something for Wrestlemania, but egads man come up with something other than having the champs lose. If WWE is so scared of having people leave, maybe not having them lose like this could entice Revival to stick around. Also, as weakened as the titles are at this point, do they belong on Wrestlemania? Against two people who haven’t been on the main roster for three months yet?

Here’s Drew McIntyre with a clip from two weeks ago when he attacked Roman Reigns. Then last week he challenged Roman to a match at Wrestlemania. Back in the arena, Drew says he hopes someone got through to Reigns because he’s already beaten Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins. Now he’s going to appeal to Joe the man, the husband and the father. Reigns has already been through enough because they’ve already watched their dad fight for his life. Do they want to see him go through it again at Wrestlemania when he’s going to lose this time?

This brings out Reigns to say that he accepts, but this is coming from Joe: don’t ever run your mouth about his wife and kids. The fight is on with Reigns getting the better of it until a low blow and Claymore take Roman out. Just in case you didn’t get the idea, we see a replay of the high points a few seconds after.

Post break McIntyre runs into Ambrose (Wasn’t he supposed to….leave?), who didn’t like being called a cockroach. Dean wants a Last Man Standing match tonight and it’s on.

Sasha Banks vs. Natalya

Bayley and Beth Phoenix are at ringside. Natalya doesn’t waste time in going after Sasha and it’s an early surfboard hold. That’s broken up with a rollup, though Natalya is right back with one of her own. They head outside with Natalya being sent into the barricade and we take a break. Back with Banks kicking at the ribs and slapping on the Bank Statement. That’s broken up and Natalya gets the Sharpshooter for a long crawl to the ropes. Cue Nia Jax and Tamina for the no contest at 8:48.

Rating: C-. It wasn’t bad while it lasted but then HEY! IT’S TIME FOR NIA AND TAMINA! Why these two have to be involved is beyond me but that’s never stopped WWE before and it’s not going to here. As annoying as they are, they’re going to be around and I’m sure they’ll be around after they lose, because that’s the only way WWE knows how to book them.

Post match the brawl is on with Beth hitting a Glam Slam on Tamina to send the monsters running. Beth and Natalya stare down at Bayley and Banks.

Hart Foundation Hall of Fame video. Back in the arena, Natalya is in tears and points to the sky.

Kurt Angle is happy to have his last match in Boston tonight when Baron Corbin comes in to mock him for sticking around so long. Angle: “Screw you.”

Bayley and Banks aren’t happy with the interference so they’ll take on everyone at Wrestlemania.

It’s time for A Moment Of Bliss, this time in the ring. She’s very happy about everything that has happened since she was announced as the host of Wrestlemania, but not everything has gone that well. We look at Braun Strowman’s issues with the SNL guys before Strowman is here as the guest. Bliss recaps everything that Strowman has done to various cars and asks what would happen if Strowman were to give them his hands.

That would be severe pain, which Bliss says is the first step in the healing process. Bliss brings in her seconds guests (via satellite): the SNL guys, who are soundly booed. Colin Jost apologizes for putting on a Mets hat last time and puts on a Yankees hat instead. Michael Che accuses Strowman of crossing the line and Jost makes jokes about the college admission scandal. Maybe he could teach Strowman something, like how to be an adult.

They want to make this right and all it takes is repayment for the car and an autograph from Brock Lesnar. Strowman has a better idea: Jost enters the Andre the Giant battle royal. Or maybe he can just stay backstage and let Strowman take care of this himself. Jost is eventually convinced but decides that Che is in too. Bliss makes it official and the two of them panic. I’ll definitely take this over some unfunny segment that gets extra time.

Elias is in front of Madison Square Garden, which isn’t quite the Garden in Boston, but he’ll sell it out faster than Billy Joel will. He’s having a cup of tea and someone puts a quarter in it. That seems to give Elias an idea.

Baron Corbin vs. Apollo Crews

Corbin gets a special intro, listing off his accomplishments and announcing him as Boston’s favorite son. Crews starts fast and dropkicks Corbin to the floor for the apron moonsault. Back in and Corbin slams him down to take over as Renee and Graves argue over whether or not they should make fun of Corbin for getting the match against Angle. Crews is right back with an enziguri and the frog splash for two. End of Days wraps up Crews at 2:46.

We recap the Beat the Clock Challenge.

Next week: Rousey/Lynch/Charlotte vs. Riott Squad.

Here’s Seth Rollins for a chat. He and Brock Lesnar are not cut from the same mold and they’re taking different paths forward. Rollins wants the burden that comes with being champion so he can inspire people. When he was a kid, he was inspired by Shawn Michaels, Bret Hart, Ric Flair, HHH and John Cena. Brock Lesnar doesn’t inspire people that way and that’s not what Rollins wants. Yesterday he had an autograph signing and everyone told him to beat Lesnar at Wrestlemania.

This brings out Paul Heyman and my eyes roll as this feels so old hat. Heyman thanks Rollins for making the Wrestlemania title match a handicap match with Rollins and the people teaming up against Lesnar. Heyman likes the odds because Rollins is just begging for the support. What’s next? Asking for thoughts and prayers because he’s undersized and overconfident? Heyman hopes Rollins loses so that everyone can take it personal. That’s it for Paul, but Rollins charges up the ramp and scares him down. Rollins promises to burn Suplex City down. This was every not great Heyman promo you’ve heard for nearly two years.

Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe

Non-title. I love it when the Brand Split is thrown completely out the window during Wrestlemania season. Joe says he forgot his bow of flowers but he was never that sentimental in the first place. His gift instead: a good night’s sleep when Joe chokes him out. Joe blocks an early German suplex attempt and sends Angle outside for a suicide dive.

Back from an early break with Angle in trouble but managing to roll the German suplexes. A running boot to the chest sets up the running backsplash but Angle…..ok there’s no snapping off to it but he gets the Angle Slam for two more. Joe on the other hand snaps off the powerslam, only to have Angle slip away and hit a missile dropkick. Angle Angle Slam is escaped and Joe gets the Koquina Clutch, with Angle dropping back into a cradle for the pin at 8:59.

Rating: D. Well of course. I mean OF COURSE you have the US Champion lose here to give Angle a feel good moment in a match to cap off a rivalry that ISN’T FROM THIS COMPANY. This is the kind of thing that WWE brings on itself and doesn’t get why it’s a bad idea. Joe just lost to Angle, who can barely move, and now I’m supposed to buy that he’s a threat to Rey Mysterio? Why? Just because he has the US Title?

This match didn’t need to happen or at the very, very least, didn’t need to be a clean fall. A countout was an impossibility here? I’m sure having the third champion lose tonight was the better call instead. And they wonder why no one cares about titles anymore and haven’t in a long time.

Here’s HHH for a chat. Before he gets to Batista, he praises the women getting to the main event of Wrestlemania because they’ve all earned it and it’s the ultimate goal. HHH talks about being glad that he didn’t get the microphone that Batista spit on, but he has something else to see. That would be a letter….which HHH can’t get out of his pocket. HHH: “I’m doing the job for the envelope in my pocket!”

It’s a letter from Batista’s lawyers, saying that he won’t be wrestling at Wrestlemania unless certain conditions are met. Batista talked about a lot of things, including figuring out that Evolution just existing to keep the World Title on HHH a little while longer. HHH: “Dave had a big week. He realized that and figured out that the moon isn’t made of cheese!” Batista also said that Evolution didn’t do anything for him.

When Batista joined Evolution, he was the Deacon and carried around a collection plate for D-Von Dudley. Evolution kept him from having a successful career. Six World Titles later, he left when he found out he couldn’t beat John Cena. Then he said HHH’s obsession made him quit again, just because he wouldn’t answer Batista’s phone calls. HHH called him back and Batista’s manager asked if HHH would move Wrestlemania to better accommodate his shooting schedule.

The letter finally got to the point: Batista wanted HHH to give him what he wanted. What he really wanted. What he really, really wanted. This goes on for two pages (to the tune of Wannabe by the Spice Girls if that isn’t clear) until it’s finally announced that HHH’s career had to be on the line. Batista beat up a seventy year old man to get HHH on the grandest stage of them all and that’s what HHH gave him. Now Batista is trying to quit again by making HHH put his career on the line but HHH isn’t letting him out of things that easily.

See, if HHH can’t beat a “self diluted douchebag” like Batista, he doesn’t belong in the ring. His career is on the line. This was hilarious with me laughing out loud multiple times. The problem is that’s the completely wrong direction to go for the feud, as HHH’s mentor and idol was beaten down. He shouldn’t be trying to be funny here (though he was really good at it).

Elias has collected thousands of dollars for performing….but he spends too much time bragging and a guy comes up to steal it. Then he steals the guitar case. Elias isn’t worried because he’ll make more money when he performs at Wrestlemania.

Dean Ambrose vs. Drew McIntyre

Last Man Standing. Drew chops him down to start and sends things to the floor, including a swing into the barricade. Back from a break with Dean hitting a top rope ax handle but getting beaten up with a kendo stick to the ribs. Dean is right back up though and knocks Drew to the floor for a suicide dive.

The Glasgow Kiss drops Dean again and a steps shot to the head makes it even worse. A chair is brought inside and wedged into the corner, of course with Drew going face first into it after having set it up. Dirty Deeds gives Dean an eight count and it’s time to hammer away some more. Dean grabs a table but gets thrown through it in the corner. That’s good for a nine count and the Claymore is good for the ten at 9:55.

Rating: C. This didn’t have much time to go anywhere and was one of the most obvious endings you could have. That being said, it’s also the most logical way to go as Dean doesn’t seem to be sticking around (though he keeps popping up). McIntyre beating up Reigns’ Shield buddies is a good way to go and it gives him some actual momentum heading into Wrestlemania.

Overall Rating: D+. I’m not sure what to think of this one as the wrestling was nothing great, but the pace of the show was excellent with nothing dragging and none of the stories getting too much time. The promos were good (albeit repetitive in some cases) and advanced or addressed the stories….but then there’s the problem on the show. Of the five matches involving champions, the champions went 1-3-1, with Rousey getting the lone win. I have no idea why that needed to be the case less than two weeks before Wrestlemania, but Raw has never been the most logical show in the world.

Results

Ronda Rousey b. Sarah Logan – Armbar

Charlotte vs. Ruby Riott went to a time limit draw

Becky Lynch b. Liv Morgan – Rollup

Finn Balor b. Bobby Lashley/Jinder Mahal – Coup de Grace to Mahal

Ricochet/Aleister Black b. Revival – 630 to Wilder

Natalya vs. Sasha Banks went to a no contest when Tamina and Nia Jax interfered

Baron Corbin b. Apollo Crews – End of Days

Kurt Angle b. Samoa Joe – Rollup

Drew McIntyre b. Dean Ambrose – Ambrose couldn’t answer the ten count

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XX
Date: March 14, 2004
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is an interesting choice but when I asked which show you wanted redone, I got a nine way tie at one vote apiece so I picked it myself. If there’s one thing WWE knows how to do, it’s some big old anniversary show. This is a major milestone for Wrestlemania and it should be a fun sit. Let’s get to it.

Runtime for this thing: four hours and thirty one minutes. Somehow, that’s short by today’s standards.

The Harlem Boys Choir sings America the Beautiful.

The opening video looks at the history of the show, which started as a dream twenty years ago. Most of the people on the show talk about how important this show is and how important it is to be in the Garden. This is the kind of video that makes it feel special, which can be so easy to get wrong at a show like this one. In a VERY cool ending, the video ends with a shot of Vince and zooms out to show Shane and his daughter as the voiceover talks about it all beginning again. That’s just awesome.

It’s still so weird to see King in a suit.

Since it’s MSG, there’s a video screen opposite the hard camera. It’s not the entrance but at least it looks cool.

US Title: John Cena vs. Big Show

Show is defending for the third or so time since winning the title FIVE MONTHS AGO. Cena gets the fans fired up and we get a LOUD Cena chant. How weird is it to not have “SUCKS” after that? We get some genital jokes, fat jokes and Cena gets a BIG SHOW SUCKS chant started before it’s finally ready to go. Of course it’s the trash talk to start until Show sends him to the ribs and gets in a knee lift.

Cole starts talking about Show’s history in Madison Square Garden and says “he retired Hulk Hogan here.” I have less than no idea what he’s talking about there so I’m going to assume it’s just an error. Show gets two off a powerslam and cuts off a Cena comeback with a clothesline. A good looking suplex gets two and a headbutt allows Cole to get in his “it’s like getting hit with a typewriter” line.

The same headbutt he gave to Hogan in the Garden right? Another comeback is stopped cold with a superkick and the Hog Roll (imagine a Fameasser if Cena is face up) gets two. The fans get behind Cena again but it’s off to a cobra clutch so Cole can get in a Sgt. Slaughter reference.

Cena FINALLY gets in some offense with right hands and we get the really weird description of Cena as a young kid. The FU gets two and Cena gives a meme worthy reaction. Cena puts his chain around his head but gets caught by the referee. John’s response? YOU CAN’T SEE ME. The referee takes them away so Cena hits him with the knuckles, followed by another FU for the pin and the title at 9:13.

Rating: D. This is a case where the fans wanted to see one thing and that’s all that mattered to them. The match was horrible of course because Big Show was one of the most worthless periods here but they got the ending right and the fans LOVED Cena here. I also like the FU better than the AA as it looks more impactful, but I can get why he switched it up. Show needs to move on to anything else.

Cena gets a big celebration for his first title.

Coach runs into the bizarre duo of Dr. Tom Prichard and Johnny Stamboli. After that completely bizarre cameo, he goes to see Raw GM Eric Bischoff who sends him to find the Undertaker. Coach asks why he’s supposed to go find a Smackdown wrestler but Eric sends him away anyway.

Evolution is in a stairwell (where Randy Orton attacked Mick Foley in June to really start their feud) and says it all begins again here. Orton laughs at Foley for walking away in December and now he’s run off to Hollywood to get his buddy the Rock to help him out. (that night when Rock was already there was the moment that made this story for me).

Anyway, Evolution beat Rock down too and they’re doing it again here. It’s Evolution’s time and tonight it all ends where it began last June. REALLY good stuff here as Orton continues to be way more effective as the young, brash hotshot than he would become as the Viper. I know I’m mostly alone in that stance but I was a big Orton fan at this point.

Raw Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Booker T./Rob Van Dam

Booker and Van Dam are defending and this is one fall to a finish. And yes, they really thought calling someone Garrison Cade (just a generic guy who got better later on) was going to get him over. Jindrak is an athletic freak who became a bigger deal in Mexico and La Resistance are Rob Conway and Rene Dupree. Unfortunately this match means we have to hear the AWFUL Booker T./Rob Van Dam remixed theme. Seriously.

Dupree takes Van Dam into the corner to start and gets monkey flipped for his efforts. Van Dam catapults him into a superkick from Booker as they’re trying to get as many people in as fast as they can. Bubba comes in for the first time and it’s a much, much lower level reaction than you would expect for a New Yorker coming in. You know, assuming there isn’t a Harlem Heat fan in the house.

Bubba loads up the Flip Flop and Fly but eats a side kick for his efforts in a smart move. Jindrak tags himself in and it’s time to double team Booker for a bit. It really is just a bit though as Dupree tags himself in as well, meaning La Resistance gets to work Booker over for a change.

It’s off to a double arm crank as the match is far slower than you would expect a match with eight people to be. Booker busts Conway’s spine though and the hot tag brings in Van Dam to clean house. Now everything breaks down as it’s supposed to until Booker and D-Von are left along to slug it out. Cade breaks up 3D and Booker adds some kicks, setting up the Five Star to retain the titles at 7:53.

Rating: D. Too many people in a match that should have been on Raw. Other than “because we feel like it” was there a reason for Cade and Jindrak to be on there? WWE has a real issue with adding people to a match when they don’t make things any better, which is what happened in this case. You really could have dropped La Resistance as well and just given us a regular tag but I get that this helps the guys a lot more financially and it’s not like this match meant anything.

Coach goes to investigate some noises in the bowels of the building and finds…..Gene Okerlund and Bobby Heenan in various stages of undress. The reaction is of course priceless (Heenan: “We were playing cards!”) but Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young pop out and drag Heenan and Okerlund back inside. Heenan: “I DON’T WANT TO GO BACK! I HAVEN’T BEEN WELL!” Coach looks terrified (rightfully so) and that’s it for the “go find the Undertaker” thing.

We recap Christian vs. Chris Jericho, which I’ve always liked quite a bit. Jericho and Christian had a bet over who could sleep with Trish Stratus and Lita respectfully. Lita was quickly forgotten but it turned out that Jericho started to fall for Trish. However, Christian wasn’t happy with his buddy becoming a new person.

Bischoff was annoyed one night and made Christian vs. Trish with Christian agreeing to lay down for her….if she would lay down for him. Trish said no so he put her in the Walls of Jericho. Chris, who seems to have gotten onto Trish’s good side, is fighting for revenge. It’s a complicated story but they both had logical paths and Jericho’s character grew a lot out of the whole thing.

Chris Jericho vs. Christian

Jericho starts fast and gets rather aggressive on the mat. A belly to back suplex drops Christian as Lawler is cheering for the evil Canadian. Christian gets backdropped to the floor in a big crash and you know the New York crowd is going to be behind Jericho here. Back in and the threat of the Walls send Christian into the ropes.

A nasty looking belly to back throw send Jericho outside and Christian takes over for the first time. It’s off to a neck crank (with their backs to the camera because they don’t know how to work or something) before they ram heads for a double knockdown. Lawler says that this split is a shame because they were both having more success than they had ever achieved before. I’m not even going to bother to make fun of that one.

Tim White tells them that they have “six minutes fellows” so Jericho gets two off a northern lights suplex. The Lionsault hits knees though and Christian gets two off his reverse tornado DDT. Christian starts in on the knee and slaps on a Texas Cloverleaf to mix it up a bit.

Jericho gets out though and hooks the Walls on the floor, which of course doesn’t mean anything or enhance the move at all. Instead it’s a butterfly superplex for a near fall and here comes Trish. Back up and Christian gets two off an implant DDT but stops to go after Trish. Jericho comes over for the save but gets slapped by mistake, allowing Christian to grab a rollup with tights for the pin at 14:43.

Rating: B-. The match wasn’t great but it’s certainly the best thing on the show tonight so far. I’m a big fan of this story and it’s certainly one of my favorites from this era. It told a logical story with different steps and gave both of them something to do for several months. The match itself is good too and gives Christian his biggest singles win ever.

Post match Trish slaps Jericho on purpose so Christian can lay him out. Trish and Christian leave together and kiss on the stage, giving us the eternally awesome evil Trish, who worked in a variety of ways.

Mick Foley is fired up to be here but doesn’t know if he can channel enough emotion and hatred to face Evolution tonight. The Rock cuts him off though (BIG pop for that) and says Foley has come back….home. After hitting on Lillian a big (with good reason), Rock steals the camera and finds Hurricane, Rosey, Jimmy Snuka, Don Muraco and of course, the people, as Rock sends the cameraman into the arena before coming back for the final catchphrase.

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

3-2 here with Orton (Intercontinental Champion)/Batista/Ric Flair for the team. The question here is can MSG handle Rock and Flair trying to steal the show so hard in the same match. Foley is looking slim here and the amazing thing for me is that he’s only 39 here and having his first match in four years. He was done as a full time wrestler at 35 and I’m kind of amazed he lasted that long given how insane he was for so many years.

Evolution gets cleaned out to start until Flair and Rock get things going (oh boy). The early backdrop sends Flair to the floor but it’s a simple thumb to the eye to cut Rock off. Foley is right there though and drops the elbow off the apron as the FOLEY chants start up. It’s off to Orton but he immediately bails to avoid Foley. That goes as well as you would expect and something that might have been a low blow puts Randy down.

Rock gets in some shots as we’re still in the first section of the match. Batista low bridges Rock to the outside though and it’s time for the first heat segment. It’s off to Flair for one heck of a chop and some extra strength WOO’s. The pop for the strut is as loud as you would expect, as it is for the clothesline that Rock follows up with. Ric goes up, gets slammed down, and tags off to Batista.

Mick is in as well though and things speed up (not normally something you associate with Foley) until Batista drives him into the corner (which you do associate with Batista). A huge clothesline runs Foley over though and Orton whips him HARD into the steps. Back in and Orton grabs a camel clutch for a bit before the rest of the team gets in their shots. Foley does get a quickly broken up Claw on Batista for a hope spot, which is a great way to keep the crowd into things.

A swinging neckbreaker and a forearm to Flair’s head is enough for the tag, which doesn’t get the pop you would expect. Rock cleans house and the fans are into his offense until Batista gets in the spinebuster. Then, in the spot of the match, Flair loads up the People’s Elbow. Naturally Rock nips up, does the strut, and punches Flair in the jaw before showing him how it’s really done.

The fans buy into the near fall and do it again after a Rock Bottom to Orton. Batista’s big clothesline and the Batista Bomb get two on Rock but Orton gives up the hot tag to Foley and eats a double arm DDT. It’s Mr. Socko time but Foley walks into a quick RKO for the pin at 17:02. Notice that Foley was up a few seconds later and looked stunned, just like Orton. That makes Orton look like he won clean but also that he’s moving up a level because it worked on the biggest name yet.

Rating: B+. I had a great time with this as it was an exceptional performance, albeit not exactly a great match. This was all about everyone looking great with Rock and Flair clearly having the time of their lives out there. Foley vs. Orton was the real story here and things would get even better the next month when they were on their own. This was a big part of making Orton though, which is where Foley shined like few others over the years. Great stuff here and a fine example of what happens when you have some amazing performers wanting to do their best.

Foley gets up and looks dejected but Rock applauds him.

Clips from the Hall of Fame ceremony, which hadn’t been held since 1996. Heenan’s line of “I wish Monsoon was here” gets me every time.

Gene Okerlund presents the Hall of Fame Class of 2004:

Bobby Heenan (I can’t praise him enough)

Tito Santana (one of my all time favorites)

Big John Studd (represented by his son)

Harley Race (that man deserves his own Hall of fame)

Pete Rose (booed but said to be incredibly grateful for the honor)

Don Muraco (underrated)

Greg Valentine (big pop and looks the same as he did in 1983)

Junkyard Dog (represented by his daughter)

Billy Graham (probably the most copied wrestler of his era)

Sgt. Slaughter (the definition of a wrestling character)

Jesse Ventura (BIG pop and well deserved)

Sable/Torrie Wilson vs. Stacy Keibler/Miss Jackie

Playboy Evening Gown match (and Smackdown vs. Raw) after Sable and Torrie posed together. They want to have the match in lingerie but Jackie says no so this actually has to take place. Jackie is stripped anyway so all four are in their underwear. I think you know how this is going to go and they hit all of the comedy spots that you would expect. That includes high crossbodies, Stacy doing the leg choke in the corner, sunset flips and the referee getting crushed. Oh and genital jokes from Cole and Tazz. Torrie rolls Jackie up for the pin at 2:32. This was exactly what four non-wrestlers in lingerie was going to be.

Video on international fans coming in for Wrestlemania.

Eddie Guerrero goes in to see Chris Benoit and says he’s proud of Benoit no matter what. Benoit doesn’t want to hear it but Eddie keeps going until Chris gets in his face and shouts that he believes in himself. That’s exactly what Eddie wanted to hear. That’s the Benoit he fought in Japan every night and we get that Eddie smile. Tonight, they’re leaving here with both World Titles.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

Chavo Guerrero Jr. is defending and this is basically Tag Team Turmoil but with one person at a time. Guerrero is automatically tenth due to being champion and the rest are all randomly chosen. In an interesting move, all ten come out first with Ultimo Dragon tripping on the way in for a funny moment.

Ultimo Dragon (who slips on the stage and on the ropes, both of which are edited off the Network version) and Shannon Moore get things going with an exchange of near falls. Shannon hits a moonsault press off the top for two but gets caught in the Asai DDT (starts in a snapmare but Dragon backflips into a reverse DDT) for the pin at 1:19. Jamie Noble is in next for a forearm to Dragon’s back and a neckbreaker for no cover. A guillotine choke gets rid of Dragon at 2:15 total. Funaki comes in with a high crossbody but gets small packaged for the elimination at 2:21.

It’s Nunzio (stereotypical Italian) in fifth so Noble sends him outside for a top rope flip dive. That’s actually good for a countout at 4:15 and Kidman is in next. Nunzio isn’t done though and pulls Noble to the floor for a springboard shooting star press in the spot of the night so far. Back in and Nunzio grabs another guillotine choke on Kidman, only to get reversed with a backdrop and an enziguri. Noble crotches him on top and tries a superplex but gets caught in a super BK Bomb (Sky High) to get rid of Noble at 6:06.

Rey Mysterio (as the Flash in a great costume) is in next but walks into a quick dropkick. Mysterio gets in one of his own, only to have Akio (Jimmy Wang Yang as Tajiri’s goon) deck him from behind. The BK Bomb gets two so Kidman takes him to the corner but gets caught in a sunset bomb for the pin at 7:26. It’s Tajiri’s turn now and Rey jumps over his head, only to get caught in the Tarantula. The handspring elbow is blocked with a dropkick and there’s the 619. Akio offers a distraction but takes the Mist by mistake, allowing Rey to grab a rollup for the pin at 8:36.

Akio can’t go because of the Mist so Chavo goes in for the title match against Mysterio. Rey starts springboarding around but Chavo Sr. offers a distraction and gets knocked to the floor for his efforts. The referee can’t block a dive but Chavo Jr. grabs a rollup and his dad’s hands for the pin to retain at 10:30.

Rating: D. WAY too much going on here and I have almost no idea what happened for most of the match. They were flying all over the place and going in and out so fast that it didn’t register at all. My biggest problem with this kind of match is always the same: if someone can get a pin like this in a minute and a half, why does that never happen on a weekly basis?

We recap Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar. They got into it at the Royal Rumble with Lesnar interfering and throwing Goldberg out. Goldberg then cost Lesnar the Smackdown World Title at No Way Out and a match was made. Steve Austin was added as guest referee to make sure this wasn’t a complete disaster and had a mini-feud with Lesnar as well.

However, there was one more detail: prior to the show, it leaked out that both guys were leaving after this show, meaning there was almost no point to the whole thing. As you might have guessed, the New York crowd has figured out what’s going on and I have a feeling they might have something to say about it.

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

No contact for the first twenty five seconds so we hit the YOU SOLD OUT chants. Austin tells them to get it on as we hit a minute with no contact. Now it’s the Goodbye Song as JR talks about Lesnar going to the NFL because you just can’t ignore the chants any longer. Two minutes in and nothing but circling and trash talk so far. Austin has a knowing look on his face as the fans chant BS, which JR says is an Austin chant (they do sound a lot alike).

They FINALLY lock up at 2:46 as we hear about Goldberg being an MMA aficionado. The lockup lasts 45 seconds before they shove each other away and have another staredown. We’re four minutes in and the only contact has been a single lockup. Another lockup goes on and the booing is strong with this one. This one doesn’t last nearly as long but still goes nowhere.

The fans think this match sucks as Lesnar FINALLY grabs a headlock five minutes in. They collide off a shoulder and stare each other down AGAIN, earning a “WE WANT FLAIR” chant. A double shoulder puts both guys down again and the fans are still livid. Goldberg finally grabs him by the throat into a gorilla press into a spinebuster, drawing an actual pop from the crowd.

The spear misses though and Goldberg crashes out to the floor so the fans think he sucks. Back in and Lesnar gets two off a suplex before grabbing a standing choke to keep things slow. Something happens in the crowd and they start chanting for Hogan (probably a look-a-like). Brock gets in another suplex and puts on another choke as the fans have just given up on even trying.

Another double collision puts both guys down again as this is somehow eleven minutes already. Goldberg makes his comeback with clotheslines and a neckbreaker followed by the spear for two. The F5 gets the same and Lesnar stops to jaw with Austin, setting up the spear and Jackhammer to end Brock at 13:43.

Rating: S. For sequel, which this would somehow warrant. This was the epitome of disrespectful to the fans as they didn’t want to do anything for the people here because they knew they were getting paid no matter what. There’s no point in trying to analyze the match because neither was interested in doing anything.

It got watchable near the end but they had already given up and taken the crowd completely out of it by that point. I was embarrassed here and that should never happen. Austin was completely innocent here by the way and was stuck in a hard place. Oh and one more thing: WWE IS GOING TO LET THEM DO IT AGAIN THIRTEEN YEARS LATER! FOR THE TITLE!

Fireworks go off outside.

Vince McMahon himself comes out to say that tonight, it all begins again. We actually get what sounds like a very heartfelt thank you from the boss, who thanks us on behalf of himself, his company and his family. No storyline or sarcasm here and that’s a really cool thing to see.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Rikishi/Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Basham Brothers vs. APA vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Rikishi and Scotty are defending and it’s one fall to a finish again. The Bashams were talented guys who looked alike but never had the chance to go anywhere. Bradshaw (ready to break into his singles run) and Shelton get things going before the Bashams pull Benjamin into the corner. That’s fine with Shelton though as he takes over on Doug and slams him onto Charlie’s knee. It’s off to Scotty for a suplex on Haas but let’s stop to dance for a bit.

Haas and Benjamin get in some double teaming to work on Scotty’s back before it’s off to the Bashams for the same. Scotty finally flips out of a suplex and brings in Rikishi as the crowd just does not care. Shelton makes the mistake of trying a German suplex on Rikshi, who responds by superkicking Haas into the corner for the Stinkface. Bradshaw gets to clean house but Rikishi grabs him in a Samoan drop. A sitdown splash ends Danny to retain the titles at 6:02.

Rating: D-. No one gets to shine, the teams are almost all nothing and the crowd just did not react. It’s a horrible idea for a match but again, I get why they do it this way. The APA would split almost immediately after this and the Bashams would join JBL’s Cabinet later in the year. Nothing match though as this show is just going on way too long.

The champs dance post match.

Edge is coming back after over a year on the shelf.

Jesse Ventura comes out to interview…..dang it he’s interviewing Donald Trump. Short version: Trump and Vince are friends and Trump would support Jesse going after the Presidency. Lawler thinks they would make a good ticket. Moving on to ANYTHING else.

Women’s Title: Molly Holly vs. Victoria

Victoria is defending and this is title vs. hair with both women looking great here. Molly starts in on the arm but gets rolled up for an early two, freaking her her out at the thought of being bald. A quick trip to the floor seems to get Molly back into the swing of things as she drops some elbows to the back for two. We hit a cravate for a bit and it’s time to discuss underwear because JR and King are on commentary. Victoria fights up and grabs a powerslam but gets caught in a sunset powerbomb out of the corner. For some reason Molly tries Victoria’s Widow’s Peak but gets reversed into a backslide for the pin at 4:55.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad while it lasted and a rare bright spot for a dark time in the women’s division. They did what they could in five minutes and there was definitely a fire here as both of them wanted to show that they wanted to be here. According to Holly, the hair stipulation was the only way they could get on the show and they immediately jumped at the offer. I’ve always admired that and they gave it all they had.

Molly tries to run and even gets Victoria in the barber’s chair, only to take hairspray to the face and get strapped in for the big shave.

We recap Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero. Eddie won the title at No Way Out but was attacked by Angle, who didn’t think that a former drug addict should have been representing WWE. Guerrero eventually got himself into a match with Paul Heyman where his hands were tied behind his back and I’m sure you know what happened. Angle beat the heck out of him and the match was set up over the culture clash and Angle telling the people that it was for their own good. Either way this should be outstanding and there’s almost no way it could be anything else.

The haircut is STILL going after that package and Molly really is bald.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero

Eddie is defending and comes out in a Cadillac truck. Feeling out process to start and the first technical battle gives us a standoff and earns both guys a round of applause. They hit the mat again and it’s a LET’S GO ANGLE/ANGLE SUCKS chant. Eddie scores with some shoulders and Angle needs a breather on the floor.

Back in and Angle easily takes him down to the mat and grabs a front facelock to keeps things slow. It’s off to an abdominal stretch as the technical display continues. Angle gets tired of the slow pace though and rolls some German suplexes before trying the big one off the apron. Naturally that doesn’t work as it could cause a bad case of death so Eddie sends him outside, only to miss a top rope dive into the barricade.

That bangs the ribs up even worse and we’ve got a story. Back in and we hit a bodyscissors because Angle is smart enough to know what he’s doing. If that’s not your cup of tea, Angle snaps off two belly to belly suplexes before going to a waistlock (notice that it’s a different move to avoid being repetitive. Eddie goes to the eyes to escape but it’s another belly to belly for two.

Angle puts him on top and tries to run the corner, only to get shoved down in a crash. It’s too early for the Frog Splash though and Eddie hits the ribs again. Some right hands have Eddie rocked but he wants some more. That just earns him more German suplexes but he reverses the second into a rollup for two.

The Angle Slam is countered and Eddie rolls out of the ankle lock for good measure. A dropkick looks to set up the Frog Splash again but this time the running belly to belly superplex connects for a near fall. There go the straps and it’s back to the ankle lock in the middle of the ring. Eddie rolls out again so Angle German suplexes him again to teach him a lesson.

Another Angle Slam attempt is countered into a good looking DDT and NOW the Frog Splash connects for two, stunning the crowd who bought the false finish. Angle goes for the ankle again but Eddie sends him outside and starts untying his own boot. Kurt comes back in and gets the ankle lock again, only to pull Eddie’s boot off. The livid Angle charges right into a small package to retain the title at 21:34.

Rating: A. I loved this match and you could see a great story going all the way throughout the whole thing. Eddie was in over his head against the incredibly talented Angle but he hung in there long enough to frustrate Angle into making a big mistake at the end. This was Eddie at his best as he was just so easy to support with the athleticism to back things up. Angle was getting into his Wrestling Machine mode here and that’s something that almost no one else could ever do. Just a great match here, which is exactly what this show needed.

We recap Kane vs. the Undertaker. Kane had buried his brother alive (again) but Undertaker’s gong sounded at the Royal Rumble and it was clear that he was coming for revenge. This is a way to get rid of Biker Taker and bring back the Deadman, meaning Kane is little more than a sacrificial lamb and everyone knows it.

Undertaker vs. Kane

Kane’s entrance is really cool as the city set entrance appears to be on fire. Then the lights go out and Paul Bear says OH YES. That means druids and the tunnel of fire before Undertaker makes his first appearance since Survivor Series. Undertaker debuts the cowboy hat here and has the weird just slightly longer hair for a look that really doesn’t work. Kane looks terrified and keeps shouting that Undertaker isn’t real.

A bunch of right hands have Kane in trouble and the head outside with Undertaker beating on him even more. Back in and the Last Ride is countered into a backdrop but Kane is WAY too far from the ropes so Undertaker has to awkwardly grab them and fall instead of going over to the floor. Undertaker hammers away on the mat but Kane avoids a charge and gets two off the top rope clothesline. Old School doesn’t work and Kane plants him with the chokeslam for no cover. He takes too long shouting at Bearer though and there’s the sit-up. Undertaker comes back with the usual and grabs the Tombstone for the pin at 7:46.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here after the entrance but it’s nice to have the old Undertaker back for a change. The Biker Taker stuff had LONG since run its course here so having him basically squash Kane was as good of a way as any to reestablish himself. There was no drama here though but that would have missed the point entirely.

We recap the main event. HHH and Shawn Michaels went to a draw in a last man standing match at the Royal Rumble so HHH retained the Raw World Title. Chris Benoit won the Royal Rumble later in the night and jumped to Raw to challenge HHH. Michaels wasn’t cool with that and attacked Benoit during his contract signing and signed his own name. You know, because the world was waiting for HHH vs. Shawn at Wrestlemania and contracts just happen to work that way.

Michaels was a total jerk here and I don’t think many people saw him as having a point but you know HHH isn’t laying down clean in the middle of the ring for someone Benoit’s size so this is as good as we’re going to get. The match gets the music video treatment as the main event of Wrestlemania should.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit

HHH is defending and has the rare white boots. JR says this is Shawn’s sixth Wrestlemania main event. By my count it’s third and he would only wind up with five in his career. Assuming they’re doing that nonsense where there are multiple main events, but even then you have the title match at XI, the actual main events at XII, XIV and this one. Unless they’re counting the ladder match (it’s the most famous match but not the main event) or the Jericho match last year (give me a break), JR is just babbling again.

HHH is knocked to the floor to start, leaving the challengers to chop it out and hit the mat for some technical stuff. The champ comes back in and knees Shawn in the head for two before knocking Benoit back to the floor. That’s fine with Michaels who moonsaults onto both of them and all three are down on the outside. You can tell the fans are smart enough to realize that they’ve got a lot to go through to get to the end here and they’re not going to freak out over something this early. Or they’re spent after a four hour show.

Back in and Benoit breaks up a Pedigree attempt on Shawn (in case you thought it was on the referee) before sending Shawn shoulder first into the post. HHH gets back up and puts Benoit in the Tree of Woe so he can whip Shawn into him. Shawn comes right back with his forearm on HHH but Benoit knocks him to the floor. It’s time to roll some German suplexes on HHH as they’re doing a great job of keeping the pace up so far.

HHH ducks Sweet Chin Music and DDTs Shawn out to the floor. The champ isn’t done yet and superplexes Benoit down for two. Make that eight actually, though you would think the first near fall would teach him his lesson and make the other three unnecessary. Shawn dives back in to break up a quick Crossface attempt and gets LOUDLY booed for trying a German suplex on Benoit.

Chris’ version works a bit better and the Swan Dive gets two. Benoit is sent outside again so it’s Shawn vs. HHH, which was probably lobbied for at some point. Shawn drops the top rope elbow for two and Sweet Chin Music gets the same with Benoit making a save. We get our first blood as Benoit catapults Shawn into the post before slapping on the Crossface. Shawn raises his hand to tap but HHH grabs his hand to keep it from hitting the mat in a smart idea.

They’re fifteen minutes into this and they’ve been knocking it out of the park so far. They just have not stopped and it’s been great stuff. Benoit is sent into the steps as Shawn is barely moving in the ring. The first table isn’t enough though as Benoit fights up and tries a German suplex on the Spanish announcers’ table. Shawn comes back though and a double suplex/slam sends Benoit through the table for the big spot of the match.

That leaves the bloody Shawn to call HHH back inside for the showdown. In a bit of a confusing moment (could be the blood loss), Shawn sends HHH right back to the floor where the champ lands on a cameraman for a cool visual. Now HHH is busted as well but he’s still able to grab a Pedigree and put both guys down. A very delayed cover is broken up by a diving Benoit, who follows it up with a Sharpshooter on the champ.

You don’t leave your head that wide open in a Shawn match though and a superkick takes Benoit’s head off. That’s only good for two though and the crowd is losing it on each of these near falls. You can hear JR’s voice going too and it’s making things even better. The superkick misses and Benoit backdrops Shawn to the floor, followed by countering the Pedigree into the Crossface. HHH rolls away but winds up back in the middle of the ring and the tap makes Benoit champion at 24:47.

Rating: A+. Oh of course it’s perfect. This was one of the best triple threats of all time as they did not stop for twenty five minutes with all three having some very close falls. That superkick to break up the Sharpshooter was incredible and I actually bought it for a split second despite having seen this match so many times. Benoit making HHH tap in the middle of the ring was the only way to end this and it was a great way to end an outstanding match. If you somehow haven’t seen this, go out of your way to see it because it’s still one of the most exciting three ways ever.

In the real moment of the show, Eddie Guerrero comes out to celebrate with Benoit in the big emotional ending as the confetti falls. This is really, really hard to watch now and makes the show that much more emotional.

A four minute highlight package takes us out.

Overall Rating: B. This is a VERY, VERY hard one to grade as the top stuff is staggeringly amazing but the rest of the show is full of horrible matches with an almost unforgiveable five at a D or worse. What really helps them though is that only one of them is over ten minutes long, meaning there’s way more good than bad and you can throw in the Jericho vs. Christian match as another very solid effort.

This is the kind of show that was DYING for a pre-show to burn off two or three of the matches that no one cared about (Tag Team Title matches and the Cruiserweight Open would be great candidates) and let the rest of the show not feel so long. The show itself needed to be about three to three and a half hours long max instead of the four hours and thirty one minutes it clocks in at instead.

That being said though, good night the top matches on here are amazing. What does it say when the fourth best match on the show is a really strong Jericho vs. Christian match? The two World Title matches are classics and the handicap match is really good stuff as well. Cut this show down by an hour and it’s one of the best of all time. As it is, it’s a long show that drags in spots but blows the doors off at other times.

Ratings Comparison

John Cena vs. Big Show

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C

2017 Redo: D

Booker T./Rob Van Dam vs. La Resistance vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jidrak vs. Dudley Boyz

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2017 Redo: D

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B-

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

Original: A

2013 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B+

Torrie Wilson/Sable vs. Miss Jackie/Stacy Keibler

Original: F

2013 Redo: N/A

2017 Redo: N/A

Cruiserweight Open

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2017 Redo: D

Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg

Original: F

2013 Redo: E

2017 Redo: S (for SEQUEL)

Rikishi/Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Basham Brothers vs. APA vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2017 Redo: D-

Molly Holly vs. Victoria

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: C-

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A

2013 Redo: A

2017 Redo: A

Kane vs. Undertaker

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: D

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH vs. Chris Benoit

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B

Oh I think we have the definitive rating here.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/27/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-20-where-it-all-begins-again-with-two-dead-guys/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/29/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xx-nearly-a-masterpiece/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XX
Date: March 14, 2004
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole

There really was no other option for the location of the twentieth Wrestlemania. Even though it’s a much smaller venues than the stadiums they had been running, there’s something about this place that makes the show feel special. It’s the world’s most famous arena in the company’s old hometown. You just don’t get any better than that. Let’s get to it.

The Harlem Boys Choir sings America the Beautiful.

Vince McMahon walks into a dark room and a voiceover takes us into a history of Wrestlemania. I know Vince gets some flack and a lot of it is deserved, but there is no one else who should have opened this show. Again, this year’s video treats the show like the most important event of the year and so far ahead of anything else in wrestling. The tagline is “Where it all begins again” and the camera goes back to Vince, who is standing next to Shane and holding his first grandchild. That’s a very cool idea and brought a smile to my face.

The entrance is on the left of the ring but there’s a video screen opposite the hard camera showing the current match. There did need to be something there, for old times’ sake if nothing else.

US Title: John Cena vs. Big Show

And so it begins. Cena is challenging here and is still the rapper, meaning he’s one of the most popular acts on the roster. He calls Show a monkey and thinks his match is against a float in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade. The fans are more than willing to chant Big Show sucks. It’s so strange to see Cena this popular in New York. To show you how worthless the title was to Big Show, he won the belt on October 19, 2003. This is his third televised title defense.

Cena sticks and moves to start but Show throws him to the floor with ease. Still mostly uneducated, Cena tries to come back in with a high cross body and gets powerslammed to teach him a lesson. Cole describes a headbutt from Show as being hit in the head with a typewriter. Are there a lot of reports of being hit in the head with typewriters and comparisons to headbutts from large wrestlers?

Show superkicks him down and easily breaks up a sleeper attempt. Off to a cobra clutch from the champ but Cena powers up and hits a quick FU (later known as the Attitude Adjustment) for two. Cena is STUNNED so he grabs his chain for a right hand to the head. It’s just a ruse though as the referee stops him, allowing Cena to grab his brass knuckles to knock Show silly and hit another FU for the pin and the title at 9:17.

Rating: C-. The crowd reactions help this one a lot but they’re more interesting due to how loathed Cena would be in the coming years. Cena’s power wasn’t on full display here though the FU’s looked good. This was a return to form for the opening match as the fans were dying to see Cena get pushed and loved to see him take the title from Show who was wasting the title for months.

Coach is talking to various people on his way to Raw General Manager Eric Bischoff’s dressing room. Bischoff gives Coach the job of finding Undertaker, who is a Smackdown guy. Undertaker hadn’t been seen in months after Kane buried him alive, but the rumor is that he’s coming back as the Dead Man for the first time since 1999.

Evolution (Randy Orton, Ric Flair and Batista. Leader HHH is busy tonight.) talks about how it all begins again here. Orton can’t wait to break Mick Foley again. This is the part of a ten month feud where Foley was scared of losing his legacy at the hands of the legend killer Orton. He walked away multiple times but returned at the Royal Rumble to attack Orton.

The rest of Evolution beat the tar out of Foley in February and it was clear he needed help. With no one else to turn to, Foley made a call to Hollywood and the Rock came running (literally) to help his old buddy. Orton says it’s his time now and he’ll kill some legends tonight. Randy looked like a pure star here and instantly had that IT factor that you can’t teach. I completely see the potential they saw here and it’s hard to argue against charisma like that.

Raw Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. Rob Van Dam/Booker T.

Van Dam and Booker are defending and this is one fall to a finish. Unfortunately the champions have a combined version of their theme music and it really, really doesn’t work. La Resistance (Rob Conway and Rene Dupree) are evil Frenchman (well Rene is while Conway is a sympathizer) and Cade/Jindrak are your run of the mill young muscular heels. Dupree and Van Dam get things going with the champ throwing the villain around. Rene gets catapulted into a kick from Booker and Conway’s save attempt goes bad. It’s off to Bubba as the fans already want tables.

Bubba tries a little Flip Flop and Fly but gets kick in the face for his troubles. Van Dam adds one to D-Von and we settle down to Jindrak beating on Booker. Dupree tags himself in and La Resistance takes over with stomps and a bow and arrow from Conway. After far too long in the hold, Booker gets up and grabs a spinebuster, allowing the tag to Van Dam. House is quickly cleaned as everything breaks down. Cade breaks up 3D on Booker but Booker nails the scissors kick on Conway, followed by the Five Star to retain at 7:57.

Rating: D. This was a good example of everything that was wrong with the division at this point. You could have cut out at least one of these teams to make the match a lot more entertaining as well as coherent. Did anyone really want to see Jindrak and Cade in here? Jindrak was amazingly athletic but I didn’t need to see him in a title match at Wrestlemania.

Coach is going to find Undertaker and hears strange noises and banging coming from a closet. He opens the door and finds…..Bobby Heenan and Gene Okerlund trying to get their clothes back on. Heenan: “No it’s not what you think!” They were playing poker you see. The door opens again and Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young drag the guys back in. Coach walks away in a daze. JR: “Oh lord.”

We recap Christian vs. Chris Jericho. This was an awesome story as the two were tag partners who made a bet over who could “nail” Lita or Trish respectfully for $1 Canadian. Lita dropped out of the story pretty quickly but Jericho started to actually fall for Trish. She started to have feelings for Jericho too but Christian hated the fact that she was breaking up the team. Christian beat her up in an intergender match to teach Jericho (a full on good guy by now) a lesson. This started a feud between the two and the big showdown is at Wrestlemania.

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

The aggressive Jericho controls to start and backdrops Christian from the apron out to the floor in a unique spot. A springboard plancha puts Christian down but he comes right back with something like a belly to back suplex to send Chris out to the floor in a huge crash. A chinlock keeps Jericho down for a bit before they ram heads to keep him down even longer.

Jericho keeps calling him a CLB (creepy little bastard) to get on Christian’s nerves, followed by an enziguri for two. A pinfall reversal sequence goes how most pinfall reversal sequences go before Christian hits a reverse tornado DDT for two of his own. Christian heads up top and breaks up Chris’ superplex attempt by just throwing him face first onto the mat. Jericho might have tweaked his knee so Christian gets smart by putting on a Texas Cloverleaf. I could go for someone using that as a finisher or even a big time hold.

Jericho counters into the Walls though and holds on even as Christian crawls through the ropes to the floor. This brings Trish out to ringside as Christian plants Jericho with a DDT. Trish gets up on the apron so Christian drags her in. Jericho goes over to check on her and gets elbowed in the face by mistake, knocking Jericho into a rollup for the pin at 14:56.

Rating: B-. Fun match here but this was much more about the story than the action. This story worked really well all around and everyone comes out of it looking better, mainly because they took their time and let the story build instead of wedging it into a month and then doing one match followed by a gimmick rematch. It makes for a better story and the whole thing works.

Post match Jericho goes after Christian again but Trish holds him back, only to slap him into the Unprettier. Trish and Christian leave together and kiss on the stage. This gives us evil Trish which, in a word, worked.

Mick Foley says this is the biggest night in the history of wrestling in Madison Square Garden so yes he is overcome. Rock comes in to say let the emotion go because FINALLY the Rock has come back to New York City. After telling Lillian Garcia that the people’s package buffet is closed, Rock hijacks a cameraman to see Hurricane and Rosey (the Superhero In Training), Jimmy Snuka and Don Muraco and of course the people themselves as the camera goes into the arena for a second. It’s time to electrify.

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

Orton/Flair/Batista here. This is Rock’s first match in a nearly a year and Foley’s first match since Wrestlemania XVI. Orton is Intercontinental Champion. Rock and Foley clear out all three and it’s Flair vs. Rock to start. The fans aren’t sure who to cheer for here as Flair is a heel but this is New York. They go for Rock to start as he takes over early with right hands and backdrops both in and out of the ring.

Foley dives off the apron with the elbow drop and you can tell this is going to be a hot one. Orton gets the tag so Foley comes in, sending Randy bailing to the outside. Why you would go outside against the hardcore legend isn’t clear and Foley takes over as you would expect. Mick ties him in the Tree of Woe and hands it off to Rock for what looked like a low blow. Batista low bridges Rock to the floor and drops him on the barricade to give Evolution their first advantage.

Now Flair’s chops have an effect and the strut is loudly cheered. Rock clotheslines Ric down though and is booed for the fourth straight year at Wrestlemania. Batista takes a clothesline as well and it’s back to Mick for the knee lift. Foley pounds away in the corner but Batista hits his big clothesline (a secondary finisher a few months earlier) to knock Foley outside again.

We get Mick’s double knees to the steps bump and now Orton is willing to come in. After a few cheap shots from Randy it’s back to Batista who has to be saved from the Mandible Claw. Flair again and the fans welcome him back with open arms. Ric takes a forearm to the head though and the tag brings in Rock to face Orton. Rock tries to fight three on one but walks into a spinebuster from Batista.

It’s back to Flair…..who loads up the People’s Elbow, complete with strut of course. It takes too long though and Rock nips up. Right hands and a spinebuster set up the original People’s Elbow, again complete with strut. The Rock Bottom plants Orton but Flair pulls Rock to the floor. A Batista Bomb gives Randy two and the hot tag brings in Foley to clean house. It’s Socko time but Orton grabs a quick RKO out of nowhere for the pin at 17:09. Foley is shocked at the fall, which puts Orton over even more.

Rating: B. This was great fun with Rock and Flair being the hams that only they can be. They knew they were in the big arena for the smart fans and they played right to them. The real star here though was Foley, who made Orton look like a star here, just as he was supposed to do. They would do that again the next month at Backlash in their big showdown where Foley put Orton over and made him look like a star. Orton would be World Champion in August and these two matches played a big role in getting him there.

Video on the Hall of Fame ceremony, which made its return after an eight year absence. The line of the night came from Bobby Heenan. After thanking everyone: “One thing is missing. I wish Monsoon was here.” That gets me every time.

The Class of 2004 is brought out for the audience and each gets an introduction: Bobby Heenan (playing to the crowd the entire way through), Tito Santana, Big John Studd (represented by his son), Harley Race (the fans start cheering before Gene can start talking), Pete Rose (celebrity induction and said to be incredibly humble and thankful for the honor), Don Muraco, Greg Valentine (much bigger reaction than I was expecting), Junkyard Dog (represented by his daughter), Billy Graham (loudest ovation of the group in a bit of a surprise), Sgt. Slaughter (USA chant) and Jesse Ventura.

Sable/Torrie Wilson vs. Miss Jackie/Stacy Keibler

This is a Playboy evening gown match which means you have to strip your opponents to win. Sable and Wilson had done a Playboy pictorial together but Jackie (Jackie Gayda from Tough Enough, not Jacqueline) and Stacy thought they should have been featured instead. Sable wants to just have the match without the gowns but Jackie won’t follow suit, only to be stripped by her opponents.

Jackie and Sable start and it’s quickly off to Torrie for a high cross body. Stacy comes in for a pinfall reversal sequence to show off the camera shots. We get the trademark rolling over the referee spot as Cole and Tazz are (rightfully) treating this as a huge joke. Torrie rolls Jackie up for the pin at 2:41.

Clips of fans coming from around the world to see Wrestlemania.

Eddie tells Benoit that he’s proud of him no matter what. Benoit needs the fire in his eyes though and Eddie finally gets it out of him, drawing a big smile.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

This is a gauntlet match with Chavo Guerrero (with his father Chavo Sr.) defending and going in last at #10. Shannon Moore and Ultimo Dragon (a Japanese legend who trips twice during his entrance) start things off fast with some near falls until Shannon scores with a belly to back suplex. Dragon avoids a corkscrew moonsault press and grabs the Asai DDT (kind of a standing sliced bread #2) for the pin at 1:17.

Jamie Noble (a country redneck) is in at #3 and blasts Dragon from behind, only to take some rapid fire kicks to the chest. Noble comes right back with a guillotine choke for a submission at 2:15. Funaki comes in at #4 with a high cross body but Noble rolls through into a pin at 2:23. Nunzio (a stereotypical Italian) is in at #5 and lasts a bit better as the fans want their pizza. A quick rollup gets two on Noble and Nunzio gets the same off a middle rope dropkick.

Jamie sends him outside and hits a big flip dive from the top for a countout at 4:15. Billy Kidman (a talented guy without much of a gimmick) is in at #6 but Nunzio is still at ringside and pulls Noble to the floor. That’s fine with Kidman who hits a top rope shooting star (barely rotating enough and nearly breaking his neck) to take everyone down. Back in and Noble’s guillotine doesn’t work very well so Kidman goes up top and BK Bombs (sitout spinebuster) Noble for the pin at 6:06.

Rey Mysterio (dressed as the Flash this year) is in at #7 and dropkicks Kidman to the floor, only to come back in with a Sky High for two. Kidman takes him up top but gets caught in a sunset bomb for the pin at 7:26. Tajiri (a Japanese wrestler with some of the hardest kicks you’ll ever see) is in at #8 and quickly takes the 619.

The West Coast Pop is blocked though and Tajiri sprays the Asian mist, only to hit his partner Akio by mistake. Rey rolls Tajiri up for the pin at 8:36. Akio can’t go because of the mist so Chavo is in for the final match against Mysterio. A springboard hurricanrana takes Chavo down and Rey takes out Chavo Sr. for good measure. Back in and Chavo counters a sunset flip and gets the pin with help from his dad at 10:26.

Rating: D. I can’t stand matches like this one as they completely stretch the suspension of disbelief. Most regular matches take at least a few minutes but we just had eight falls and only one of them came close to two minutes. If I’m a casual fan, the only thing I know about any of these people is that Chavo cheats to retain his title. This went by way too fast and really should have just been Chavo vs. Mysterio.

We recap Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar in an interpromotional match. Goldberg and Lesnar had words at the 2004 Royal Rumble and Brock attacked Goldberg in the Rumble itself, leading to his elimination. Steve Austin then gave Goldberg a ticket to Lesnar’s title defense against Eddie at No Way Out 2004, where Goldberg of course cost him the title. Lesnar stole Austin’s ATV and Austin beat him up on Smackdown to get it back.

This set up a showdown here with Austin as guest referee to try to hold things together. The problem is word leaked that both guys were leaving as soon as Wrestlemania was over and the fans all knew about it. This could go bad in a hurry, especially in the smarkiest of all smark strongholds.

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Austin is guest referee. The YOU SOLD OUT chants begin and there’s no contact in the first thirty seconds. Austin tells them to go but they stare at each other for the first minute. The fans sing the Goodbye Song and Goldberg swears at Lesnar a lot. Nothing in the first ninety seconds. Make that two minutes. The fans chant for Austin as he stares at Goldberg.

They FINALLY lock up at 2:46 as JR brags about Goldberg being a mixed martial arts aficionado. The lockup lasts about forty five seconds and then they stare at each other even more. We’re four minute into this now and the only contact has been that lockup. Another lockup goes twenty eight seconds before they break. The fans are loudly and rightfully booing now. At the five minute mark, Lesnar grabs a headlock. They trade shoulders and stare each other down again.

Another big shoulder apiece puts both guys down as we hit six minutes. Brock gets in the first strike with a kick to the ribs at just under seven minutes. A gorilla press into a spinebuster drops Lesnar but Goldberg misses a spear in the corner. The fans are all over Goldberg now as Brock hits two straight suplexes.

Off to a side choke from Brock to eat up time before they have the nerve to do a double clothesline. Goldberg comes back with more clotheslines and a neckbreaker, followed by a spear for two. Austin and Goldberg argue a bit and Brock grabs an F5 for two. Back up and Goldberg hits a big spear but is booed out of the building. The Jackhammer ends Lesnar at 13:48.

Rating: F. As much of an embarrassment as this was, it took some guts to go out there in MSG and do this on the biggest show of the year. I don’t want to imagine how bad this would have been had Austin, who was innocent in this whole mess, not been there to keep it as coherent as he did. This was barely a match but it was certainly something interesting to see, as unfair as it was to the fans.

Lesnar throws up two middle fingers (which he later said were to Vince and not the fans) and gets Stunned. Austin throws Goldberg a beer, then throws him two more after he drops the first one. Goldberg is booed out of the building and takes a Stunner, followed by Austin consuming a lot of beer.

Wrestlemania XXI is in Los Angeles.

Fireworks go off from the roof of Madison Square Garden.

Vince McMahon comes out to thank the fans for making Wrestlemania what it is on behalf of everyone who has ever performed for him and his entire family. Nothing else said here but this was a very nice moment.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Basham Brothers vs. APA vs. Too Cool

One fall to a finish. Too Cool (Scotty and Rikishi) are defending. The World’s Greatest Tag Team was known as Team Angle. The Bashams (Doug and Danny) are two guys who looked a lot alike and were some of the biggest stars in Ohio Valley Wrestling history (then developmental), yet for some reason they only had a forgettable tag run before they were out of the company.

Bradshaw and Benjamin start things off with Bradshaw shoving him around, only to have Danny Basham come in for an atomic drop. Haas and Benjamin take over on Danny but he sneaks away to make the tag to Scotty. That means it’s time for some dancing until Haas hangs Scotty over the top rope so Shelton can dive onto Scotty’s back.

Charlie slaps on a bearhug before it’s off to the Bashams for a double suplex into a double nipup. Scotty flips out of a suplex and dives into the corner for the hot tag to Rikishi, who has gone from a comedy goof to someone treated as a moderate legend for reasons I don’t quite understand. Everything breaks down and Bradshaw charges into a Samoan drop. Rikishi sits on Danny’s chest to retain at 6:05.

Rating: D. This was the same as the Raw Tag Team Title match earlier and that’s not a good thing. After the previous few matches, this really wasn’t a good choice to go with here and feels like they’re just dragging the show on even longer. The match isn’t terrible or anything but again it shows how weak the tag divisions (yes both of them) are at this point. Merging them together would have been a great idea but we were years away from that.

The champs dance a bit.

Edge is returning from his neck surgery soon.

Here’s Jesse Ventura to do an interview because this show hasn’t drawn out long enough. His interviewee tonight: Donald Trump. Donald talks about how awesome Vince is and pledges his financial support to Jesse if he gets back into politics. That would be a very, very different interview if it happened today. Another waste of a few minutes to drag this show out even longer.

Molly Holly is ready for her title shot.

JR and Lawler talk about tomorrow’s Raw a bit.

Women’s Title: Molly Holly vs. Victoria

Victoria is defending and this is title vs. hair. Feeling out process to start with Molly taking over in the corner, only to be sent out to the floor. Back in and a quick basement dropkick gets two on the champ and we hit a neck crank. A powerslam gets two for Victoria but Lawler keeps trying to talk about the evening gown match. Molly mostly powerbombs Victoria out of the corner for two but a quick backslide retains the title at 4:56.

Rating: C-. This needed more time as they were flying through the match because they only had five minutes instead of a realistic length. If only there was some other stuff they could have cut out from the show that meant absolutely nothing and just ate up parts of the show. These two were both very talented women and they could have a good match if they were given the chance.

Victoria chases Molly up the ramp and ties her into the barber’s chair for the head shaving. Allegedly that was the only way Molly could get on the show and she couldn’t sign up fast enough.

We recap Angle vs. Guerrero. Eddie won the title about a month ago but Angle attacked him soon after. Angle didn’t think Eddie was a good enough role model for the WWE due to his past drug issues. Eventually Eddie agreed to face Smackdown General Manager Paul Heyman with his hands cuffed behind his back. Naturally this brought out Angle for a beating to really light a fire under Eddie, setting up this match.

After the long video, Molly is still being shaved and is completely bald. The fans are impressed.

Smackdown World Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Eddie is defending of course and rides out in a low rider truck. They hit the mat to start with Eddie hanging with Angle at first until Kurt grabs a headlock. A top wristlock goes well for Angle and he shoulders Eddie down for good measure. Back up and Eddie nails a hard shoulder of his own but is still feeling the effects of the arm work.

Angle easily regains control on the mat with some movement so fast that Tazz can’t even call before Angle is off to the next position. A front facelock keeps Eddie down but he reverses a suplex into an armbar of his own. That’s not cool with Angle so he gets up and grabs an abdominal stretch but the champ is right back with the Three Amigos but Angle counters into the Rolling Germans.

Eddie gets to the apron though and has to hang on tight so Kurt can’t German him out onto the floor. Instead the champ knocks Kurt to the floor but misses a top rope dive, landing ribs fist against the barricade. Kurt is smart enough to stay on the ribs as he drops them across the top rope, followed by the belly to bellys. Off to a smart bearhug but Eddie pokes him in the neck (that’s a new one) for the break.

Eddie goes up top so Kurt tries to run the buckles, only to get shoved back down. The frog splash misses though and Eddie is in trouble again. Cole is AGHAST that Kurt is throwing punches to a staggered Eddie. Guerrero tells him to bring it on so Kurt tries to roll the Germans, only to get caught in a rollup for two. A dropkick looks to set up the frog splash but Kurt is like “boy you’re getting superplexed” and the corner run works this time around.

The ankle lock is reversed and the Angle Slam is countered into a DDT. Eddie finally hits the frog splash but it’s only good for two. There’s the ankle lock again but Eddie rolls him out to the floor. With Kurt down, Eddie unlaces his boot. Angle looks up from the floor and you can see Eddie panic. The ankle lock goes on again and the boot comes off. Angle has to figure out what just happened and then charges right into a small package (with Guerrero’s feet in the ropes because he has to cheat) to retain Eddie’s title at 21:04.

Rating: A. Outstanding match here with a very creative ending. These are two guys who need almost no instruction as they’re both so good that they can do whatever you ask of them and never expect anything less than greatness. The ending makes perfect sense too as Angle is all about polish and playing by the rules but Eddie changed how they were playing out there and caught Angle off his guard. Smart stuff, as Angle controlled when it was fair so Eddie cheated to retain, yet was somehow praised for it. Funny how that works sometimes.

Angle is FURIOUS.

We recap Kane vs. Undertaker. Kane hated Undertaker for abandoning the dark side and becoming the biker so Kane helped Vince bury Undertaker alive at Survivor Series 2003. This brought back the Undertaker Kane wanted, but this Undertaker wanted revenge for being buried alive. People tend to do that at times.

Kane vs. Undertaker

Kane has a cool entrance where the set, which looks like the New York skyline, starts to burn as well. This is of course trumped by the return of Paul Bearer and the torch bearing druids. Undertaker debuts his singlet top look here which he would use for the rest of his career. His hair is still above his shoulders though so it’s a work in progress. Kane insists that Undertaker isn’t real and looks like he’s about to cry. He reaches out to see if he can touch Undertaker and gets punched in the jaw for it.

The threat of a chokeslam sends Kane out to the floor and Undertaker whips him into the apron. The apron legdrop keeps Kane in trouble but he counters the Last Ride with a backdrop. Unfortunately he doesn’t quite have his placement right and Undertaker has to put his hands out to keep himself from slamming face first into the ropes.

The top rope clothesline connects but Undertaker grabs him by the throat. Kane escapes but misses a charge in the corner to set up Old School. It still doesn’t work at Wrestlemania though and Kane catches him by the throat for the chokeslam, causing him to celebrate early. Undertaker sits up and the fans know what’s coming. Kane tries a kick to the face and Undertaker gives him a look that makes Kane want to cry again. The jumping clothesline, a chokeslam where Undertaker loses the grip and the Tombstone make Undertaker 12-0 at 6:56.

Rating: D+. What did you think was going to happen here? This was a long way of saying the old Undertaker is back and that was best for everyone as the biker was long past it’s shelf life. It would take a LONG time to figure out how to use Undertaker again and it would be a rough year, but once they figured out the formula, Undertaker was gold all over again.

Side note: so was that stuff with Bischoff sending Coach to find Undertaker just to set up the Heenan/Okerlund bit? Sounds like a bit of overkill.

Backlash ad.

We recap the main event. HHH and Shawn Michaels had continued their never ending feud at the Royal Rumble where they tied in a last man standing match. Shawn said he needed one more shot and wanted it at Wrestlemania. That’s not how it works though because Chris Benoit had won the Royal Rumble and jumped to Raw for the title shot. Shawn didn’t accept this and superkicked Benoit before signing the contract himself (because that’s how contracts work). Austin, the co-boss of Raw at the time, make it a triple threat. There was really no reason for Shawn to be in this match and it really should have been one on one.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit vs. HHH

HHH is defending and has big white boots for some reason this year. We get an old school weapons check and the fans are entirely behind Benoit. Benoit and Shawn fight over who gets to beat up HHH until Benoit tries a Crossface. HHH takes a breather on the floor until both guys are down for a bit and now it’s time to go after the challengers.

Shawn skins the cat and goes back to hammering on HHH. The high knee gets two for the champ but he has to knock Benoit back to the floor. Shawn baseball slides Benoit into HHH and takes them both down again with a moonsault press. All three get back in and Benoit has to break up a Pedigree to Shawn. Michaels is sent shoulder first into the post but the champ ties Benoit in the Tree of Woe and whips Shawn hard into him. It’s already time for the forearm and nipup but Benoit is ready for him and sends Shawn out to the floor.

The champ gets rolled with some Germans but Shawn crotches Benoit on top. Sweet Chin Music misses the champ and Shawn gets caught in a DDT. That earns HHH a Crossface until Shawn makes the save. Shawn actually tries a German on Benoit and the fans ROAR when Benoit reverses into a trio of them. The Swan Dive gets two on Shawn and all three are down. Benoit is knocked to the floor so we can get the Shawn vs. HHH quota out of the way. Sweet Chin Music is good for two with Benoit making a last second save.

All three head outside and you can hear the impending sounds of tables cracking. It’s back inside first though and Benoit is catapulted into the post to bust him open. The Crossface goes on again but HHH grabs the hand to stop the tap. They go outside again with Benoit’s shoulder meeting the steps and now it’s announcers’ table time. A double suplex puts Benoit through the table and Shawn’s blood is all over his chest.

So it’s HHH vs. Shawn again, which JR calls ten years in the making, even if HHH hasn’t worked here for nine years yet. JR is screaming for an EMT for Benoit as a cameraman gets taken out. HHH is whipped into the steps and the fans pick Shawn of their remaining options. The champion is busted too but a quick Pedigree puts both guys down. Somehow Benoit saves Shawn again before Michaels falls to the floor.

Benoit puts HHH in a Sharpshooter and pulls him back to the middle of the ring until Shawn superkicks Benoit down. JR’s voice is going quickly as all three are down again. Benoit dumps Shawn to the floor and counters the Pedigree into the Crossface. HHH is almost out but he kicks backwards, only to have Benoit hold on and crank back on it right in the middle of the ring for the submission and the title at 24:07.

Rating: A+. Do you really have to ask here? This is the best triple threat match of all time with all three guys doing exactly what they needed to do as well as they could do it. It was really hard to believe that Benoit wasn’t going to win in the end but they came as close as they could have to make me think it might not happen. Outstanding match here and exactly how Benoit should have been put over on the grandest stage of them all in the main event of Wrestlemania. It doesn’t get bigger than that, period.

Benoit celebrates and here’s longtime friend Eddie Guerrero comes out to hug him as confetti falls to end the show.

The Vince dark room video and part of his speech take us to the highlight package.

Overall Rating: A-. Oh they were close with this one but there’s about an hour long stretch in the middle that goes from worthless to trying to cram too much in there to…..whatever Goldberg vs. Lesnar was to another lame Tag Team Title match and it really drags down what could have been one of the best of all time. I mean, did we need both Tag Team Title matches and the lingerie stuff? The appeal is obvious but this show needed a few more edits to get it down from FOUR AND A HALF HOURS.

Now that being said, you’re not going to find a better one two combination than Angle vs. Guerrero and the triple threat for a very long time and that’s more than enough to carry the show. Couple those matches with some other REALLY fun stuff like the Christian vs. Jericho match and a fun outing from Cena plus the great handicap match and you have a great show. If this was about forty five minutes shorter, it could be up there with XVII and XIX as one of the best ever. Unfortunately there’s too much clogging it up and that brings the show far lower than it should be. Watch it with a remote to fast forward and you’ll have a blast.

Ratings Comparison

John Cena vs. Big Show

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C-

Booker T/Rob Van Dam vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. Dudley Boys vs. La Resistance

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B-

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

Original: A

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

Torrie Wilson/Sable vs. Stacy Keibler/Miss Jackie

Original: F

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Cruiserweight Open

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: F

2013 Redo: E

2015 Redo: F

Too Cool vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Basham Brothers vs. APA

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Victoria vs. Molly Holly

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C-

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A

2013 Redo: A

2015 Redo: A

Undertaker vs. Kane

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Chris Benoit vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: A-

That’s as close to identical as you’re going to get.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/27/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-20-where-it-all-begins-again-with-two-dead-guys/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/29/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xx-nearly-a-masterpiece/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XX
Date: March 14, 2004
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole

We’re back where it all started so it can all begin again. I’m not sure what that means either but it’s the tag line of the show. The main event tonight is a triple threat match because what would a WWE show be without one of those? It’s HHH defending the title against Chris Benoit and Shawn Michaels, the latter of whom is here for absolutely no reason whatsoever. The other big match is Eddie Guerrero defending his newly won world title against Kurt Angle. There are some young guys getting their first Manai match tonight as well. Let’s get to it.

The Harlem Boys Choir sings America the Beautiful.

We get a shot of Vince standing in the dark before going into a video on the last twenty years of Wrestlemania which is a pretty cool sight. This transitions into a very serious video about everyone talking about how huge this match is for them. We hear that it all begins again tonight, transitioning to a shot of Vince’s newborn granddaughter. Cool idea.

US Title: John Cena vs. Big Show

Cena is challenging here and this is the culmination of a feud that lasted a few months. Show held the title for five months and defended it like three times. Cena does a rap before the match and is just INSANELY over. In New York. My how times have changed. Cena says Show can’t see him so Big shoves him into the corner. Show throws him to the floor but Cena guillotines him as they come back in. A cross body (why would you try that on Big Show?) is countered into a slam for two and the match slows down a lot.

The fans cheer for Cena as Show chops him in the corner. Cena comes back with some right hands but Show clotheslines him down with ease. Show stands on the bottom rope to crush it into Cena’s throat before a vertical suplex gets two. The champion stands on Cena’s back for good measure and drops a leg for two. Show tries a powerslam but gets caught in a sleeper, but the powers of fat break it up pretty easily.

There’s the cobra clutch by the champion for good measure but the fans applaud Cena to freedom. The hold goes right back on though and Cena is in more trouble. John slugs his way out again and gets a boot up to stop a charging Big Show. The FU hits but Show is out just a second after the two count. Since that didn’t work, Cena wraps a chain around his hand but when the referee takes them away, Cena gets brass knuckles to stun Big Show before a second FU gives him his first of many titles.

Rating: C. Slow match but this was a good choice for an opener. The fans were WAY into Cena as he was rapidly becoming the hottest thing in the company (until the rise of Batista of course). The FU was a great visual to open things up as fans are always going to react to freakish displays of strength like that. Good opener here and the fans are hotter than they already were, which is the right idea.

Coach is in the back talking to various people before going in to see Eric Bischoff. Eric sends him to find Undertaker.

Evolution (minus HHH of course) talks about taking out Mick Foley tonight and we get a clip of Orton kicking Foley down a flight of stairs 10 months ago to start the feud. They just happen to be in front of the same stairs, which is a great touch. Instead of having them show us the stairs in a photo, it adds atmosphere which is missing in most promos today. We see Foley walking away from Orton over the months and Evolution destroying Foley over the same months. Tonight it’s Rock teaming with Foley against Evolution in a handicap match which should be AWESOME. Really good package here on the match too.

Raw Tag Titles: La Resistance vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. Booker T/Rob Van Dam

Booker and RVD are defending and this is one fall to a finish. Booker has an AWFUL remix of his song here so hopefully they drop the belts so we don’t have to hear it again. Van Dam and Dupree get us going with Rob monkey flipping him down. Booker comes in with a side kick for two and a hip toss for an interfering Conway. Rene is knocked into the Dudley corner for a tag off to Bubba with the Dudley getting two off a neckbreaker. Booker comes back with a side kick but D-Von tags himself in before the cover. RVD jumps in with a kick to the face of D-Von but there was no tag so it’s Jindrak vs. Booker instead.

Cade and Jindrak take over on Booker in the corner but Rene steals a tag to take over. This match needs to end already. We’re four minutes in and I’m already bored. Conway hooks a bow and arrow hold which goes on WAY longer than needed. Booker fights out with a spinebuster for no cover but it’s not hot tag to RVD. Everything breaks down but D-Von breaks up the Five Star. It’s Booker vs. D-Von but Cade breaks up 3D. The scissors kick and Five Star are enough to pin Conway and retain the titles.

Rating: D. Sacre bleu what a waste of my time. No one card about this match because the tag division was so dead at this point that almost every team was just thrown together. Since this is Wrestlemania though, there’s ANOTHER four way tag match later tonight. Nothing to see here and the match sucked on all levels. Let’s get on to ANYTHING else.

Coach is in the back again and hears noises coming from a closet. He opens the door to find a disheveled Gene Okerlund and Bobby Heenan with an unbuttoned shirt. Coach thinks there’s something going on between the two of them but Heenan says there was a poker game going on. Moolah and Mae Young come out of the same closet and drag the guys back in. Heenan screams for help and Coach shakes his head. When I said ANYTHING else, I didn’t mean THAT.

We recap Christian vs. Jericho which is a pretty awesome story. Month ago Christian and Jericho made a bet for $1 Canadian that Jericho could sleep with Trish before Christian could sleep with Lita. Jericho wound up falling for Trish but she found out about the bet. He’s spent months begging for her forgiveness but Christian got tired of hearing Jericho whining like this.

Trish agreed to just be friends but Christian started hitting on her. Bischoff made Christian vs. Trish with Christian agreeing to lay down for her. Christian decided to show some tough love by putting her in the Walls of Jericho, setting up Christian vs. Jericho tonight with Jericho fighting for the honor of his love. This is one of my favorite feuds.

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

They lock up to start with Jericho getting very aggressive and taking Christian down by the hair. A belly to back suplex gets two for Jericho and he backdrops Christian over the top and out to the floor. Chris hits a big spring plancha but can’t hook the Walls back inside. Christian sends Jericho over the top and out to the floor in a big crash. Back in and Christian chokes away before slapping his own chest a bit. A knee to Jericho’s ribs gets two and it’s off to a neck crank.

Christian pulls some of Jericho’s hair out for good measure before covering. Off to a chinlock with a knee in Chris’ back but it’s quickly broken up into another failed Walls attempt. A forearm puts Christian down and there’s a running crotch attack to Christian in 619 position. The running enziguri gets two for Jericho before they trade rollups for two each. A northern lights suplex gets two for Chris but the bulldog sets up the Lionsault which hits knees.

Jericho charges into an elbow into the corner and gets taken down by a reverse tornado DDT for two. The reverse DDT into a backbreaker puts Jericho down again but Christian goes up and gets crotched. He blocks a superplex though and hits a top rope cross body, only for Jericho to roll through for two. This is solid stuff so far. Christian kicks Jericho in his injured knee and puts on the old school Texas Cloverleaf. In an impressive counter, Jericho gets underneath Christian and rolls through into the Walls but AGAIN Christian makes the ropes.

Jericho takes it to the floor and puts on the Walls out there before having to break the count. Back in and a butterfly superplex gets a VERY close two on Christian as Trish comes bouncing down the aisle. An inverted DDT puts Chris down for two and Christian spots Trish. He drags her into the ring but Jericho makes the save. Not being able to see though, Trish blasts Jericho in the face, allowing Christian to hook a quick rollup for the pin.

Rating: B. As I said I’m a bit fan of this match and the angle that went along with it. This was Christian’s best singles match to date and he looked perfectly capable of hanging with a more talented guy like Jericho. Trish of course would play a much bigger role just after the match, so let’s get to the interesting part.

Post match Trish apologizes to Jericho before slapping him, turning into EVIL Trish. Christian lays out Jericho and leaves with the girl. Evil Trish was SMOKING hot and we would get to see a lot more of her as this feud continued for months.

Mick Foley talks about the emotion of being back in New York but Rock interrupts him. He says that FINALLY they’re back here and Mick Foley is home. Rock hijacks the camera and finds Rosey and Hurricane eating hamburgers and Jimmy Snuka and Don Muraco just hanging out. Rock sends the cameraman into the arena to get a shot of the people but has him come back because it’s Rock N Sock’s night.

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

It’s Flair/Orton/Batista here and Orton is Intercontinental Champion. The brawl is on to start with Rock fighting the young guys and Flair getting punched by Foley. Evolution is knocked out to the floor until we start with Rock vs. Flair. Rock immediately elbows him down and does the Flair strut to send Naitch to the floor. A backdrop puts Flair down and they fight to the floor, only to have Ric get caught in another backdrop. Foley drops an elbow off the apron and Evolution is in trouble to start.

Foley wants to come in to face Orton but Randy immediately bails to the floor to great heat. We finally get inside for the fight that people want to see as Foley pounds away and puts Orton in the Tree of Woe. Off to Rock who punches Orton in the “stomach” before clotheslining him down for no cover. Ric gets clipped in the back of the head by Flair which draws him into the corner, sending the fight to the floor. Batista drops Rock face first onto the barricade to take over.

Back in and Batista pounds on Rock, dropping him down with an elbow for two. Flair comes in again to chop at Rock before going up with even Lawler making fun of Flair for it never working. Big Dave comes in again to pound on Rock but the Brahma Bull gets over to the corner to bring in Foley. Mick pounds away on Batista and punches him down in the corner, only to be taken down by Batista’s big running clothesline. Foley goes after Orton on the floor but Flair jumps him to stop the comeback.

As is his custom, Flair is sent knees first into the steps, causing some cringing pain. Back in and Orton drops knees on Foley’s head before it’s back to Flair for a hard chop. That’s all for Ric right now and it’s back to Orton for a reverse chinlock. Batista takes Orton’s place and pounds away with rights and lefts, only to be caught in a quick Mandible Claw. Batista escapes but gets caught in a swinging neckbreaker. That’s STILL not enough for the hot tag to Rock though, and the crowd continues to want it more and more. A quick right hand to Flair is enough for the tag to Rock though, and the reaction isn’t all that great.

Rock cleans house with everything he can but walks into a spinebuster by Batista. Instead of a cover though, we get the People’s Elbow from Naitch, complete with strut! The elbow doesn’t have a chance to be launched though as Rock nips up and pounds away on Flair with right hands. The spinebuster sets up the real Elbow with Rock strutting for two. Another tag brings in Orton who walks right into a Rock Bottom for two. The big clothesline puts Rock down and there’s the Batista Bomb for good measure.

That gets two for Randy but Rock drops him again, allowing for the tag to Foley and there’s the pop we were waiting for. Evolution is knocked down and there’s the double arm DDT to Orton. Mr. Socko returns but Orton SNAPS off an RKO for the pin out of nowhere. The look of shock on Orton’s face and Foley getting up and three and a half and looking around as if to say “what happened” are great touches.

Rating: B. Very solid match here with all five guys feeling it at Wrestlemania. The ending is perfect and makes Orton look all the better as he got the fall on a fresh Foley with the RKO out of nowhere. This led to a great match at Backlash which cemented Orton as a player. This was also Rock’s last match for seven and a half years. Great match though and well worth checking out for a lesson in how to give a perfect rub.

Foley gets a standing ovation and Rock is just kind of there. Again, they don’t steal the spotlight, making it clear that Evolution is the important group here. Very well done.

We get some clips from the Hall of Fame induction ceremony last night which is the first class inducted in eight years. Heenan wishing Monsoon was there still makes me smile.

Here’s Gene Okerlund to introduce the Hall of Fame class. The class includes Bobby Heenan (good ovation), Tito Santana (should get a bigger ovation), Big John Studd (represented by his son), Harley Race (the pop starts before Gene can even speak), Pete Rose (booed, although I’ve heard he was as humble as you could ask anyone to be), Don Muraco (polite applause), Greg Valentine (bigger ovation than I expected), Junkyard Dog (represented by his daughter), Billy Graham (biggest pop so far), Sgt. Slaughter (decent pop) and Jesse Ventura (solid pop). Next year’s class had Hogan in it to give the thing some credibility.

Sable/Torrie Wilson vs. Miss Jackie/Stacy Keibler

This is an evening gown match and the annual Playboy promotional match. Sable and Torrie posed together and had a teased lesbian angle around this time. Sable wants to just wrestle with nothing on but Jackie (Gayda, as in the attractive one) says no. Everyone else winds up in lingerie and Jackie is soon stripped too. This is exactly what you would expect: horny announcers, sexual spots, very little wrestling and very little complaining from most fans. Stacy kicks Torrie’s head off for two and it’s back to Jackie. We get the rolling over the referee spot and Torrie rolls up Jackie for the pin. This was what it was.

We hear from some fans who are excited to be here.

Eddie comes in to see Benoit but Benoit doesn’t want to hear about how big of a night this is. Guerrero of course talks about all the pressure on Benoit but Benoit says he believes in himself and that he’s never been more ready. Eddie says Benoit needs to have fire in his eyes and it finally comes out, so Eddie is very happy.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

Chavo Guerrero, Ultimo Dragon, Shannon Moore, Akio, Tajiri, Jamie Noble, Funaki, Rey Mysterio, Billy Kidman, Nunzio

This is different from what the Cruiserweight Open would wind up being when it was a free for all. This is basically a gauntlet match with everyone at ringside and two guys starting. It’s elimination rules and last man standing is champion. Chavo comes in defending and gets to come in tenth for no apparent reason. We start with Moore vs. Dragon who fight over a hammerlock. Moore tries to speed things up but gets caught in a standing Sliced Bread for a fast pin. I now remember why I hate gauntlet matches.

Jamie Noble is in next and after avoiding a moonsault, he hooks a neckbreaker and a guillotine choke to put Dragon out. Funaki comes in and gets small packaged for the pin less in about three seconds. Nunzio is in and takes Noble to the mat in a hurry before being sent out to the floor. Noble hits a sweet flip dive off the top to the floor and rams Nunzio into the apron for a countout. Billy Kidman is in next but Nunzio trips him up. Noble heads to the floor as Kidman slides back inside for a Shooting Star off the top to take both guys out.

Back in and Kidman breaks up the guillotine choke and enziguris Noble down. The Shooting Star is broken up but Kidman hits a BK Bomb (D’Lo Brown’s Sky High) for the elimination. Mysterio (as the Flash this year) comes in with a springboard seated senton but gets dropkicked down for two for Kidman. Billy loads up something off the top but gets caught in a sunset bomb for the pin. Mysterio vs. Tajiri now as Rey is caught in the Tarantula. Mysterio will have none of this selling stuff and there’s the 619 but Tajiri kicks him down.

Akio gets on the apron but gets caught in the Green Mist, which means he’s out for no apparent reason (my guess is they’re out of time) so here’s Chavo vs. Mysterio which is what this whole match should have been in the first place. Tajiri gets in a cheap shot on Mysterio and it’s Guerrero in control early. Rey comes back with a headscissors and a baseball slide to Chavo Senior. There’s a big dive onto an old man to pop the crowd (New York is mean!) but as Mysterio comes back in with a sunset flip, Chavo Jr. drops down and has Senior’s help for the pin on Mysterio to retain.

Rating: D. What am I supposed to get into off of this match? The longest fall was maybe two minutes in length and none of them were anything of note. The match should have just been Rey vs. Chavo, but because of the annoying Wrestlemania payday, we need to jam in eight other guys to ruin the match. Also this brings up the universal problem with these matches: if it’s possible to get all these two minute pins, why do matches usually last five times or so as long?

We recap Brock vs. Goldberg which started at the Rumble. Goldberg wasn’t impressed by Lesnar so Brock interfered in the Rumble and tossed Goldberg out. Austin left Goldberg a ticket for No Way Out where Lesnar defended the title against Eddie Guerrero. As you can guess, Goldberg cost him the title and tonight it’s about revenge. Brock blamed Austin for the loss and stole his ATV which Austin got back. Austin is also guest referee tonight to keep the match from falling apart.

Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg

The catch here is that both guys are leaving and the fans know it, so they boo them both out of the building. Goldie gets his full entrance from the back. The fans IMMEDIATELY start chanting YOU SOLD OUT at Lesnar who is going to the NFL after this match. They circle each other and Austin says get to it. Now the fans sing the GOODBYE song with the guys still making zero contact over a minute in. The fans chant for the referee as Goldberg looks at Austin. Still no contact. After nearly THREE MINUTES of circling each other they lock up.

Amusingly enough, Goldberg is said to have an advantage because he’s a mixed martial arts aficionado. They lock up and shove each other away as it’s almost four minutes in without even a punch being thrown. We get a second lockup with the same result. The crowd is booing loudly now. Literally five minutes in Lesnar grabs a headlock for the first actual move of the match. They trade shoulder blocks with no one going anywhere. They collide again with both guys going down and we’re somehow six minutes into this match.

Now they stare at each other as the fans are about to riot. The fans cheer for HOGAN of all people and that’s FINALLY enough to get something going. Goldberg presses him over his head and drops him into a kind of spinebuster for two. The spear misses though and Goldberg hits the buckle chest first. The fans think Goldberg sucks as he is sent into the post. Back in and Brock gets two off a suplex and then hooks a modified headlock. The fans chant for Hogan again.

Back to the same headlock after a brief break before they collide again. Brock gets two as Austin is still a complete non factor. He seems to be the rodeo clown out there to keep everything from falling apart. Well, falling completely apart because we’re long past falling apart. JR is polite and calls this match pedestrian. Goldberg comes back with some clotheslines and a swinging neckbreaker of all things as the Hogan chant starts again. There’s the spear for two but Goldie spends too much time arguing with Austin and walks into an F5 for two. Brock tries a spear but misses, so a spear and Jackhammer can finish Brock.

Rating: E. As in embarrassing, which is what this was. Have some pride out there people. I know you’re leaving and the fans don’t care, but man alive have some effort out there. If I was an NFL team and Brock gave that kind of a performance I wouldn’t want anything to do with him. No he doesn’t want to be there but that’s his job until his contract expires. This was embarrassing to watch and they deserve the booing they received. Austin added nothing here but he didn’t really need to.

Post match Brock flips off Austin and gets Stunned for his efforts. Goldberg has a beer and gets Stunned for good measure.

Wrestlemania 21 is in Los Angeles.

Vince actually comes out and thanks the fans for getting us here and hopes they’ll be there in the future. Cool moment there.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Too Cool vs. Basham Brothers vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. APA

That would be Scotty and Rikishi who are defending coming in. One fall to a finish again. Bradshaw and Shelton start things off with the Texan taking him down with a shoulder and getting two off an elbow drop. Doug Basham comes in to beat up Shelton now and it’s off to Danny. Shelton tags in Haas for a slam onto Haas’ knee in a cool spot. Scotty comes in to fight Charlie as this is going nowhere.

In another creative spot, Scotty skins the cat but lands in the Shelton jumps over Charlie’s back to land on Scotty for two. Charlie tags off to Doug for a kick to Scotty’s face. The hot tag brings in Rikishi to clean house and knocks Shelton to the floor to break up the German suplex. Charlie gets a Stinkface and Bradshaw launches Doug to the floor with a fallaway slam. There’s the Clothesline to Danny but Bradshaw walks into a Samoan Drop. Rikishi sits on Danny to end it and retain.

Rating: D. Whatever man. Seriously, I wouldn’t have remembered this match if you put a gun to my head, just like with the other tag title match. They’re just not interesting at all and there was nothing here to remember at all. There needed to be just one set of tag belts at this point and these matches make it painfully obvious.

Rikishi and Scotty dance for old times’ sake.

Edge is returning soon.

Jesse Ventura interviews Donald Trump, who is at like his fifth Wrestlemania. Ventura implies they’ll run for the White House together.

Molly Holly (looking GREAT here with the shoulder length dark hair) is excited about her hair vs. title match against Victoria. This can’t end well.

Women’s Title: Molly Holly vs. Victoria

Victoria is defending and Molly has her hair on the line. The champion has the awesome All The Things She Said as her theme song as is looking sweet in white here. They lock up to start and Molly pounds her down before whipping Victoria into the corner. Victoria nips up off the mat and sends Molly to the floor but loses control soon thereafter. Back in again as the match is already going slowly.

A low dropkick gets two on Victoria and it’s off to a reverse cravate by Molly. A quick rollup gets two for Victoria as JR says he doesn’t wear underwear. Victoria powerslams her down for two but Molly heads up a few seconds later. An attempted superplex is countered into a slow motion sunset bomb for two for Molly. A backslide out of nowhere retains the title for Victoria, meaning it’s time to see a bald Holly.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here other than both girls looking incredibly cute. As is usually the case, there’s no explanation given for why this match is happening, nore does anyone seem interested in telling us. Molly would get a wig soon after this which admittedly was pretty amusing. Nothing to the match which didn’t even last five minutes.

Molly tries to put Victoria into the barber’s chair post match but can’t get the clippers to work. The champion fights back and lays Molly out for the haircut.

We recap Eddie vs. Angle. Eddie, as a former drug addict, has no business being champion according to Kurt. Guerrero is also in WAY over his head because of how good Angle is. Heyman, the Smackdown GM, hates Eddie for no apparent reason on top of that.

Post video, Molly is VERY bald.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero

Feeling out process to start with Eddie taking Angle to the mat in a surprising development. Angle sits out and the fans applaud what they see. Angle takes over with a headlock but Eddie reverses into one of his own. A shoulder block puts Eddie down and he isn’t sure what to do from here. Now the champion grabs a headlock followed by three straight shoulders to knock Angle down. Kurt bails to the floor for a breather.

Back in and Eddie takes him down with an armdrag but Angle takes control again with a sweet amateur move into a front facelock. Eddie comes out of it with a series of armdrags into an armbar as the fans applaud again. Guerrero switches over to a keylock but Angle shoves him off and drives a knee into the ribs to take over. Like any good ring general, he follows up on an injured body part with an abdominal stretch.

Eddie rolls out and tries Three Amigos but gets countered into a German instead. Eddie gets thrown to the apron but Angle slides through the ropes and tries the German off the apron but Guerrero escapes because it would, you know, kill him. Back inside and Eddie dropkicks Angle back to the floor as things slow down a bit. Guerrero tries to dive off the top to take Angle out but lands ribs first on the barricade. That’s adding to the story they started with the ribs, making it awesome.

Back inside and a backbreaker gets two for Angle and it’s off to a body vice on the champion. Eddie fights up but gets dropped ribs first on the top rope for two. Angle unleashes the suplexes again with an overhead release belly to belly for no cover. There’s another one for two and it’s back to the body grip. Another belly to belly gets another near fall as Angle is getting frustrated. Angle puts him on the top but gets shoved off as a result. A fast Frog Splash attempt misses though and Eddie’s ribs are in big trouble.

Angle punches Eddie to send Cole into a frenzy because Michael Cole is an authority on ethics all of a sudden. Eddie gets up and says HIT ME AGAIN so Angle does just that. Guerrero grabs a fast suplex for two but Angle escapes a second before rolling the Germans. Eddie counters the second one into a rollup for two but Angle takes Eddie’s head off with a clothesline to stop him again.

The champion escapes the Angle Slam with an armdrag and starts doing his Latino dance. He STILL can’t hit the Three Amigos though as Angle counters into the ankle lock. Eddie kicks him away and dropkicks Kurt down before heading up. Angle pops up again and runs the ropes for the belly to belly, putting both guys down again. Kurt takes the straps down and puts on the ankle lock but Eddie rolls out into a cradle for two.

Another German suplex puts Guerrero down again but the champion counters the Angle Slam into a DDT. Now the Frog Splash hits for a VERY close two. When I watched this the first time I thought that was it. Eddie isn’t sure what to do and gets caught in the ankle lock as a result. He almost taps but manages to swing Angle out to the floor. Eddie unlaces his boot with Kurt down on the floor to relieve some pressure. Guerrero crawls away as Kurt gets back in and lets him pick the ankle. Eddie kicks Angle away, losing his boot in the process. Angle is confused and Eddie small packages him to retain in a brilliant move.

Rating: A. Great match here with the psychology flowing freely. Eddie was BRILLIANT out there as he had finally took it away from the wrestling game and got Angle out of his comfort zone. The dueling rolling suplexes were a great touch too as neither guy could hit them but it was a battle to try. Great match and well worth checking out.

We recap Kane vs. Undertaker. Other than their huge history dating back over six years, Kane had helped literally bury Undertaker at Survivor Series in a buried alive match. At Wrestlemania, the gong went off to scare Undertaker and he’s back tonight as the Dead Man for the first time in four and a half years.

Kane vs. Undertaker

The visual on Kane’s entrance is really cool as the set is designed to look like New York City and it has fire all over it as Kane comes out. Sweet. The lights go out and we get Paul Bear’s Ooooooooooooooooooooooh YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES. Since this is Wrestlemania, we get druids, smoke, and torches. Now we get thunder and lightning and a gong, which gives us the Undertaker. He has shorter hair now which would be his look for the next eight years or so. The entrance, as always, is excellent.

Kane shouts that Undertaker isn’t real and reaches out to touch him, earning the right hands from Undertaker. Undertaker calls for the chokeslam but Kane runs out to the floor. Taker is fine with that and the brawl heads to the floor with the Dead Man in full control. There’s the apron legdrop and we head back inside for a running clothesline in the corner. All Undertaker so far as JR actually tries to push this as a brand vs. brand match. Taker loads up the Last Ride but gets backdropped into the ropes in an awkward looking spot.

Kane chokes away on the mat and talks trash about telling Undertaker to not come back. Undertaker comes back with rights and lefts, only to walk into the side slam. The top rope clothesline crushes Undertaker for a close two. Kane misses a charge in the corner and there’s a big boot to put Kane down. Taker follows it up with a legdrop (BROTHER) and Old School for good measure. Scratch that actually as Kane catches him by the throat and hits the chokeslam. Kane laughs maniacally but Taker sits up to a BIG ovation. The Taker chokeslam and tombstone make Taker I believe 12-0.

Rating: D+. Yeah the match sucked but this was all about the moment and making it clear that Undertaker was back. That worked like a charm here and the match worked quite well for what it was supposed to be. This would of course lead to Paul Bearer being locked in a tomb made of concrete. You don’t see the connection?

We recap the main event. HHH is world champion because he’s HHH, Benoit won the Rumble and switched brands, and Shawn is here because he’s a whiny little man that can’t accept that he didn’t win at the Rumble. Therefore he superkicked Benoit and signed Benoit’s contract, which apparently you can just do and have it be legally binding. The solution was to make a triple threat match because that’s what WWE does.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit

HHH (and his big white boots) bail to the floor as the other two chop it out. They head to the mat with Benoit bridging up into a backslide attempt but Shawn blocks. The Crossface doesn’t work but Benoit gets two off a northern lights suplex. The Game comes back in to take over and he slugs both guys down. Shawn is thrown over the top rope for some skinning of the cat but comes back in to pound away at the champion in the corner.

The high knee takes Shawn down for two and a less high knee puts Benoit on the floor. Benoit has his back rammed into the barricade but Shawn baseball slides both of them onto the concrete. That is followed up by a big moonsault to the floor to take out all three guys and wow the crowd a bit. Shawn and HHH go back inside but Benoit has to come in with a clothesline to break up a Pedigree. Shawn goes shoulder first into the post at the hands of the Canadian but HHH ties Benoit up in the Tree of Woe.

Michaels whips HHH into Benoit and rolls up the champion for two before nipping up, only to be clotheslined out to the floor by Benoit. Chris rolls some Germans on the champion but Shawn comes back to break up the Swan Dive. HHH DDTs Shawn down and superplexes Benoit for a pair of two’s. Benoit gets a weak Crossface on HHH but Michaels makes the save. Now Shawn tries to roll Germans on Benoit but you can’t do that to a Canadian (without being Kurt Angle of course), and Benoit reverses into Germans of his own on Shawn.

The Swan Dive hits Shawn for two as HHH makes another save. HHH low bridges Benoit to the floor and it’s time for DX to fight again. Shawn drops the top rope elbow on HHH and there’s Sweet Chin Music for good measure but it only gets two. Benoit makes the save and it’s time to chop a Canadian. Michaels has to fight off the Sharpshooter but can’t avoid a catapult into the post. There’s the Crossface on Shawn but HHH grabs Shawn’s hand to prevent tapping. That catapult into the post busted Shawn open too.

Out to the floor they go with HHH whipping Benoit into the steps to put him down. HHH loads up the announce table but Benoit fights him onto said table. Benoit fights out of a Pedigree attempt but here’s Shawn on the table as well. A double suplex/slam sends Benoit flying through a table and it’s down to one on one for all intents and purposes. HHH pounds away on Shawn in the corner but gets backdropped out to the floor, taking out the referee in the process. Shawn sends him into the post to bust the champion open too.

Back in and HHH hits a Pedigree out of nowhere but he’s too exhausted to cover. Eventually he does but Benoit pops in to break it up at the last second. Shawn falls out to the floor as Benoit chops the champion. The Pedigree is countered into the Sharpshooter but Shawn comes back in with Sweet Chin Music to break it up, but only for two. Michaels tunes up the band again but misses the superkick and gets backdropped to the floor. Benoit hooks the Crossface on HHH and holds onto it even as Benoit rolls into the middle of the ring until HHH taps out, giving Benoit the world title.

Rating: A+. I can’t stand triple threat matches but this is a masterpiece. They were so crisp with everything and while Shawn didn’t need to be there at all, it was still an excellent match. Benoit winning was the absolutely right decision (and would have been the year before as well) but it was the feel good moment they needed.

Eddie comes out to celebrate with his friend as confetti falls to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This show really does hold up quite well. It’s not a masterpiece or anything but the two world title matches are must see. Unfortunately that’s about all that’s must see as this over four hour long show (yes, OVER FOUR HOURS) is in need of some trimming (the tag titles would be a great place to start) but it’s still a solid show. The ending scene is hard to watch as the two crumbled under the pressure and ultimately would be gone less than four years later. Still though, the first moment was excellent.

Ratings Comparison

John Cena vs. Big Show

Original: C-

Redo: C

Booker T/Rob Van Dam vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. Dudley Boys vs. La Resistance

Original: D

Redo: D

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

Redo: B

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

Original: A

Redo: B

Torrie Wilson/Sable vs. Stacy Keibler/Miss Jackie

Original: F

Redo: N/A

Cruiserweight Open

Original: D+

Redo: D

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: F

Redo: E

Too Cool vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Basham Brothers vs. APA

Original: D

Redo: D

Victoria vs. Molly Holly

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A

Redo: A

Undertaker vs. Kane

Original: D

Redo: D+

Chris Benoit vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: B

That’s as close to identical as you’re going to get.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/27/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-20-where-it-all-begins-again-with-two-dead-guys/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania 20
Date: March 14, 2004
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz
Star Spangled Banner: Harlem Boys Choir

This just feels right. Wrestlemania is supposed to be at MSG. This show is considered to be the show where the new generation took control as Cena debuted, Eddie was defending a title, and Benoit challenged for a title. Sadly, two of them are gone now so those plans have been completely derailed.

This show is the first of the modern HOF induction shows as well as having the first smaller arena show in four years. I’m split on that actually. The smaller shows are better in the sense that it’s more personalized and there simply isn’t a place better than MSG, but the stadiums show off the spectacle more. Really depends on what you like. Anyway, let’s get to it.

The Harlem Boys Choir sings America the Beautiful and we go into the opening video. This is definitely the biggest show of all time with major matches and us at Madison Square Garden. The main event is Benoit vs. Shawn vs. HHH which has the problem of Shawn. There is zero point to having him in there but he’s there so that HHH doesn’t have to job to Benoit clean. Whatever I guess.

To end the video we see Vince, Shane and Vince’s grandson, which I believe is the first time Vince’s grandchildren have appeared on WWE programming.

US Title: John Cena vs. Big Show

Cena is the rapper at this point and hasn’t really gotten established at all at this point. He had been around a little under two years at this point and had turned mega face. You could see that he had what it took back then but he was being paced along very well. Show is champion coming into this. He was more or less worthless (yeah a stretch I know) as champion here so the ending wasn’t really in doubt.

John does his represent thing before the match starts. Dang you could see the star just trying to break out in him. He does a quick rap about Show and says Show is a gorilla. Cena’s hand is taped up so maybe he’s hurt or something. This isn’t really funny or anything but it gets the crowd going which is the point. Granted it’s a New York crowd so it’s not like it takes much work overall.

The title literally looks like a toy on Show’s shoulder. This is serious Show who has been motivated/focused lately which means he’ll lose a big match soon. Cena tries to get around the power to start which doesn’t really work at all. He gets sent to the floor and needs to rethink his strategy. Show allegedly retired Hogan in this building. Which retirement was that?

A cross body off the top by Cena of course fails as it always has against Show. Cena gets the powerslam that he deserves for being an idiot like that. He hammers away which gets him nowhere other than clotheslined down with ease. They have the picture of the current match on the opposite side from the cameras which is a cool thing to see.

Show suplexes Cena and he goes flying which makes John look like a toy. I know you hear that a lot but it’s true here. Headbutt puts Cena down and Show stands on his back. Cena hammers away but gets kicked in the face to end that. Show adds that standing legdrop that I think is called the Showstopper depending on who you listen to for two. The fans chant for Cena.

Cena tries a sleeper which is broken up rather quickly. This has more or less been all Show. Cobra Clutch by Show and Cena is in trouble. Naturally he just lets it go to put it right back on. Cena fights back with right hands and takes the knee out to send Show’s face into the buckle. FU gets two and Cena isn’t sure what to do now. Cena grabs the chain he brought with him but throws it down to distract the referee. The knuckles he carried with him also winds up going upside Show’s head and Cena has his first title.

Rating: C-. Basic big man vs. little man match here but at the same time, not much going on with it at all. Show dominated and Cena hit like three moves to take over and win the thing. That being said, the fans were into Cena which is the whole point. Not bad but kind of generic overall.

Coach is in the back and runs into some random people that aren’t important before saying hi to Teddy Long. He goes into Bischoff’s office to find he and Johnny Spade. Spade had just gotten a name change from Johnny Blaze. A few weeks later he was Johnny Nitro, and a few years later he was John Morrison. Didn’t realize he’d been there that long. Coach is told to go find the Undertaker, who was redebuting for the 58th time tonight.

Evolution minus HHH is in the back and Orton says he’s going to become a hardcore legend. As a former OVW Hardcore Champion, he’s well on his way. He never did that, but he got close a month later at Backlash. If you haven’t seen that match, go do so immediately. Well worth the 15 minutes it takes up. Anyway we see a clip of Orton hurting Foley back in June as this was almost a year long storyline. Oh and he’s IC Champion. The idea is that Foley is scared of Orton but has a backbone now. Oh and Rock is with him for a handicap match. That always helps.

Raw Tag Titles: Rob Van Dam/Booker T vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. La Resistance vs. Dudley Boys

Wow. You can see the division dying as we speak. The Dudleyz would more or less be gone in four months, save for the One Night Stand main event. We then have the one decent tag team on the brand at the time, and then two generic guys packaged as a “team”. RVD and Booker are your odd combination tag team. This is one fall to a finish. The remix of RVD and Booker’s songs was really quite bad.

Dupree vs. Van Dam to start us off here. Booker comes in quickly and gets a superkick to Renee for two. Bubba is tagged in. Why would you tag out here if it’s one fall to a finish? The Dudleys are faces for this week. The fans already want tables. At least they’re patient as they waited a full minute before starting that chant here.

Ross thinks Booker is a young man. That’s rather amusing. Bubba tries to do the suck on this deal and gets kicked in the face for his efforts. This is more or less RVD/Booker vs. the Dudleys with two other teams in the background. Jindrak gets two on Booker. It’s Garrison Cade at this point too. Who thought that would be a good name? I mean dude, Garrison Cade? Really?

Dupree comes in and La Resistance takes over for a bit. It’s Dupree/Conway in this form of La Resistance as that team changed every few months. No real reason given for why these teams are in here but does it really matter? The fans chant for USA while Conway, the American, is in there. Conway gets an elbow for two, which JR says was opportunistic. How? Isn’t that like doing his job?

Conway uses a bow and arrow hold for awhile to kill some time. Spinebuster gets Booker out of trouble. Wow Van Dam was in a good amount of worthless tag teams. RVD comes in and cleans house. The Five Star is blocked as D-Von shoves him off the top. Everything breaks down and it’s Booker (illegal) vs. D-Von (also illegal). 3D is broken up by Cade and then an axe kick sets up the Five Star on Conway for the champions to retain.

Rating: D. Totally boring match here that should have been on Raw. The division if you want to call it that was completely dead by this point and nothing was going to save it. The titles needed to be unified back then but wouldn’t be until 2010. Weak match that had no need to be on Mania in the slightest.

In the basement, the Coach hears noises coming from behind a door and opens it to find Gene Okerlund trying to get dressed. He tries to explain why he’s there and Bobby Heenan stumbles out half dressed as well. Coach says it’s not what you think. There was a poker game according to Heenan. Moolah and Mae pop out and drag the guys back in where frightening sounds are heard. One of my all time favorite segments.

We recap Christian vs. Jericho which was a great storyline. This started with Jericho and Christian betting a Canadian Dollar that Jericho could sleep with Trish before Christian could sleep with Lita. Trish found out about the bet and got all ticked off. Jericho fell for Trish and Christian tried to get his head back on straight. This led to Christian vs. Trish with Christian hurting Trish. Tonight is the grudge match. This was a great buildup and the video has me wanting to see the match years later. That’s a really good sign.

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

 

I guess Lita was just dropped from this after awhile for reasons unknown. They lock up for a bit and then Jericho is like screw it and takes Christian down with right hands. Clothesline takes him down again. Christian sends him to the apron but gets backdropped to the floor. All Jericho in the opening few minutes and we get a big Y2J chant.

Jericho hits that springboard cross body to the floor and then sends Christian into the barricade. Back in and Christian’s sunset flip attempt is countered into the Walls. They’re not applied though and Christian is able to get a thumb to the eye and then dump Jericho to the floor. Christian chokes away and talks trash to Jericho at the same time. He’s multi-tasking I guess.

Knee to the ribs by Christian as the fans are surprisingly quiet here. They don’t seem bored though and are instantly back into it when Christian hits a chinlock. I guess they’re interested here. Christian pulls some of Jericho’s hair out which gets him two. Ah the old hair attack. Haven’t seen that in years. Back to the chinlock but Jericho tries for the Walls again and again they don’t work.

Christian chokes away but Jericho fights back. Off to a neck crank for a second but Jericho is taken down by the hair as he tries to escape. Hey here’s another chinlock. Walls are attempted again and again fails. Spinwheel kick gets two on Jericho. Jericho gets a forearm and a knee to the back as he’s starting a comeback. Running enziguri gets two.

Rollup by both guys gets two and Christian’s had a handful of ropes. Northern Lights Suplex by Jericho gets two. Lionsault attempt winds up eating knees but the Unprettier can’t hit either. Reverse tornado DDT out of the corner gets two for Christian. They’re moving a lot more out there now. Backbreaker by Christian and he goes up. Jericho is slammed off and Christian hits a cross body which is rolled through for two by Jericho.

Christian throws on a Texas Cloverleaf and Jericho is in trouble. This is the first time they’ve had a bit of a break in a good while. Jericho breaks that and tries the Walls for the fourth time which doesn’t work either. He finally gets them on the fifth try but on the floor. As Christian tries to get back in he gets caught in a double underhook suplex off the top for two.

And here comes Trish. I’m pretty sure you know how this is going to end but she looks great in a tied off shirt so I can’t complain. Edgecution by Christian gets a long two. Christian drags Trish in and shoves her down. Trish “accidentally” nails Jericho and Christian gets a rollup and the win with it.

Rating: B. Decent match but it could have been a lot more. This was a match where the buildup was better than the match. The feud would continue for a good while though and it continued to be rather solid. Fun stuff here and pure popcorn soap opera stuff which is usually a good combination.

Post match Trish slaps Jericho, turning heel and leaves with Christian. The crowd is TICKED as Trish and Christian kiss to a big reaction as they leave.

Now we get to one of the more entertaining part of the show. Foley is talking about being nervous about having his first match in four years but Rock pops up and cuts him off. He talks about how there’s no reason to be nervous because everyone knows what’s coming. Hurricane and Rosey know it. Don Muraco and Jimmy Snuka know it.

But most importantly the people know it. Make sure you get a shot of the people. Rock says let’s go take care of Evolution, if you smell what the Rock (Foley: and Sock) IS COOKING! Funny promo.

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

Now this has an interesting backstory to it. Back in December, Orton was on his Legend Killer gimmick and called out Foley. Foley got ready to fight him but at the last minute bailed out, allowing Orton to spit on him and walk out of the arena, branding him as a coward. At the Royal Rumble, Orton had made a long run but Foley entered at #21 and beat the crap out of Orton.

The problem with this was that when you go after Orton, you get all of Evolution. Except HHH who had more important things to do than fight two first ballot Hall of Famers. This made it 3-1, so Foley needed help. Rock returns to help his friend, and we get this as the end result. If you ever want to see the match that almost single handedly got Batista and Orton over, this is it. It was them being in there with the big boys and we could see what they can do.

I love the old school vs. new school dynamic here. The Rock N Sock Connection hit the ring and the fight is on. Rock vs. Batista is really weird to see. How weird is it that Rock retired younger than Foley? Rock vs. Flair is something that is just awesome to look at and it officially starts us off here. Rock does Flair’s strut and they lock up.

Out to the floor and Flair slips a thumb into the eye. That gets him nowhere as he gets slammed on the floor and Foley adds an elbow off the apron. Off to Orton now and Foley wants in. Orton bails but Foley somehow catches him and the beating is on. Back in with Foley in control. Rock comes in and punches Orton in the balls and then Flair smacks him in the back of the head.

Rock fights off Evolution but gets caught by Batista on the floor with the power game. Off to Orton vs. Rock in the ring now with Orton hammering away. Make that Batista. He’s not as big as he would get but still gets two off an elbow drop. Flair comes in now and throws chops in the corner. He tries to strut and gets his head taken off by a running clothesline. Well why mess with the basics?

Like an idiot, Flair goes up and gets slammed down. Why is anyone surprised at that? Off to Batista who hammers away. The crowd being all attentive is weird. Rock gets a clothesline to Batista and it’s off to Foley now. Double arm DDT is blocked and it’s a slug out. Running knee in the corner is stopped by a clothesline though. That’s a popular move in this match isn’t it?

On the floor Foley grabs the Claw on Orton out of nowhere. This is a good match so it’s hard to make jokes here. For the 1000^th time in his career Foley’s knees slam into the steps with a LOUD bang. Orton in now who hammers away even more. Make that Flair who chops Foley down and then they slug it out. Foley takes him down but Orton comes in for a chinlock/face pull to stop Foley.

Batista comes in as Evolution keeps up that fast tagging. He starts the ground and pound on Foley but Mick slips a hand up and grabs the Claw to break it up. Orton comes in for the save and they keep tagging in and out very quickly. Swinging neckbreaker to Batista buys Foley some time and a double clothesline buys him even more time.

Flair comes in to break up the tag but a shot to the head is enough to bring in Rock who cleans house. DDTs and right hands all around but a Batista spinebuster takes him down. And now Flair wants to do the People’s Elbow. Rock nips up while Flair struts and drills him. There’s a spinebuster for Flair and it’s the REAL People’s Elbow, complete with Rock’s 8^th strut of the match.

RKO doesn’t work but the Rock Bottom does. Flair makes a last second save and then SPRINTS around the ring to grab a chair. Batista Bomb to Rock which gets two for Orton. Rock manages to bring in Foley and he finally gets his hands on Orton. Foley loads up Socko but takes too long and Orton grabs a quick RKO for the pin. Foley sits up afterwards which I like as it makes it look like Foley got stunned but not knocked out. And that my friends, is how you put people over.

Rating: A. This wasn’t so much a great match but rather a work of art out there. They knew what they were doing and the two old masters made stars out of young guys. This is what you’re supposed to do out there as the old guys look great as well and like I said, it was a quick win rather than a dominating one. The key thing there though was that it was a win. Great stuff and worth seeing for what it means to put someone over.

Rock and Foley get a standing ovation as they deserve.

This year’s HOF class is honored. No big name here except Jesse Ventura. Next year it really picks up though. Heenan breaking up over wishing Monsoon was there with him is a very touching moment. Harley Race and Tito Santana go in too. teases running for President in 2008.

They bring them out into the arena to have Mean Gene do the presentations to the crowd. The full list is Bobby Heenan (can barely talk due to throat cancer. The fans chant weasel and Heenan’s reaction is of course hilarious), Tito Santana (one of the most underrated guys ever despite being considered great), Big John Studd (dead, his son is here), Harley Race (one of the best heels ever), Pete Rose (deserves to be in due to what he did at Mania. He was said to be incredibly gracious about being in so I can live with this).

Back to the wrestlers with Don Muraco (took the Snuka Splash that apparently every wrestler ever was inspired by), Great Valentine (gets one of the biggest pops surprisingly enough. Looks JUST like he did in the ring and still does to this day as far as I know), Junkyard Dog (Also dead, his daughter is here for him. It was her high school graduation that he died on the way home from), Billy Graham (perhaps the most influential heel of all time), Sgt. Slaughter (go watch the Alley Fight with Pat Patterson. Incredible fight), and Jesse Ventura (do I need to explain this one?

What’s the best way to follow that up? With this of course:

Sable/Torrie Wilson vs. Miss Jackie/Stacy Keibler

Instead of the traditional rules, this is pinfall. Blast it. This is happening because Torrie/Sable are in Playboy. Sable was doing a weird lesbian kind of thing at the time with Torrie, which is odd because Torrie had just come off a lesbian angle with Dawn, which ended apparently in her sleeping with Dawn.

Sable requests they all start in their underwear. Taz and Cole are cracking up over a joke Taz makes. It actually was funny and tells me these guys are funny in real life. I’m trying not to pay attention here as this is depressing. Torrie and Sable win.

Rating: F. I hate these things. They’re a total waste of time, we’ve seen the girls like this before, and it’s nothing special at all. Total waste of about 9 minutes.

We get some clips from Axxess.

Eddie comes in to talk to Benoit who is very nervous to say the least. He says that win or lose, he’ll be proud of Chris. Benoit says he won’t lose. Eddie says no one really expects Benoit to win, more or less sealing his title win. Benoit says he’s proud of Eddie for winning the WWE Title and Eddie starts laughing. He wants Benoit to get fired up and Benoit is. Tonight they both walk out world champions.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

This is a ten man gauntlet match. Think Tag Team Turmoil with the champion, Chavo Jr., going tenth. Everyone stands at ringside so I’ll just list them off as they go in. Rey comes out last and is the Flash this year. Ultimo Dragon vs. Shannon Moore to start and they’re moving out there, getting three two counts in maybe 40 seconds. Back suplex by Shannon gets two. Whisper in the Wind by Moore misses and Dragon hits the Asai DDT (sets for a Stunner but backflips over Shannon to slam the back of his head into the mat. Looks great) for the pin. I hope this isn’t a pattern.

Jamie Noble is in third and he jumps Dragon to take an early advantage. Dragon unleashes the kicks but misses a moonsault. A neckbreaker by Noble sets up a guillotine choke by Noble to get rid of Dragon.

Funaki comes in and is rolled up and pinned in 4 seconds. I hate these kind of matches for stupid stuff like these last two eliminations. This would never happen in a regular match and makes Funaki and Dragon look like blundering morons.

Nunzio comes in next and begs off instead of charging, which I think is logical here. They trade some holds and Nunzio gets a victory roll for two. Big kick gets two for Nunzio. He tries an O’Connor Roll but Noble ducks to send him to the floor. Noble dives on him with a front flip to put both guys down and Nunzio is counted out.

Billy Kidman is in now and Nunzio trips Noble. Kidman climbs the ropes and throws a Shooting Star Press but underrotates and lands ON TOP OF HIS HEAD! That gets two in the ring and Noble grabs that guillotine again. It’s easily reversed and Kidman adds a running enziguri. He tries the Shooting Star again but Noble runs up to block it. Short powerbomb off the middle ropes gets rid of Noble though as that might have been the longest fall at just under two minutes.

Rey comes in and gets half killed by a dropkick. He gets whipped in and baseball slides between Kidman’s legs while on his back. Kind of awesome. Kidman takes over after some interference from Tajiri’s friend Akio for no apparent reason. They go to the corner and Mysterio gets a sunset bomb to end Kidman.

Tajiri in next and he grabs the Tarantula very quickly. Handspring elbow is blocked by a dropkick and there’s the 619. Akio interferes again and winds up taking the mist to the face. Rey grabs a rollup to end Tajiri.

Akio can’t fight because of the mist. Whatever.

Tajiri kicks Rey in the head and it’s down to Chavo and Mysterio. Rey avoids a charge and gets a rana to take over. Down goes Chavo Senior via a baseball slide. The referee won’t let Rey dive on him though. Dang it give us our injured senior citizens! Ok he’s in his mid 50s here but he looks about 80. Rey is like screw it and dives over the referee to crush Chavo Senior. He tries a sunset flip but Chavo grabs the hand of his son to get the pin to retain. So Chavo pinned Rey in about 1:50? Got it.

Rating: D+. That’s overall. The problem here is simple: they went through it WAY too fast and it was impossible to get into any of the matches. These things need like 30 minutes to work which is why you never see them. This would have been WAY better as a fatal fourway but since both tag titles are in that format we had this. Not a fan of these at all because they make the guys in them look far too beatable.

We recap Goldberg vs. Brock. Goldberg was #30 in the Rumble and was being interviewed prior to the match. Lesnar got annoyed that he wasn’t being interviewed since he was WWE Champion at the time. He came in and beat up Goldberg in the Rumble so that Angle could eliminate him after Goldberg was dominating. Austin gave Goldberg a ticket to No Way Out and said don’t do anything he wouldn’t do. Goldberg speared Brock and Eddie won the title because of it (great match if you’ve never seen it).

Austin was named guest referee and then Lesnar popped up and gave Austin an F5. This basically turned into Austin vs. Lesnar instead with Goldberg being on the side. Lesnar stole Austin’s four wheeler and ticking Austin off. Austin beat Lesnar up and took it back, which totally took the spotlight off of Goldberg to eventually set up Brock vs. Austin.

However, this was Lesnar’s last WWE match s he went to the NFL and then the UFC, which made Austin more or less pointless here. Oh and it’s Goldberg’s last match too. Think they’re going to give it that old college try and work as hard as they can? If so, you’re not that smart.

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Let the chanting begin! The shorts on Goldberg never looked right. They stand around for about 20 seconds and we get to the far more interesting part of this match: the crowd. Almost immediately we get a YOU SOLD OUT chant directed at Lesnar. It’s one of the loudest you’ll ever hear outside of Philly and it shakes the guys up it seems. The announcers actually acknowledge it which is saying a lot.

Make that a minute of standing around. There’s the Goodbye Song as they’ve literally stood there staring at each other for a minute and a half. Ross tells us Lesnar is gone and they shout F Bombs at each other. Two minutes with zero contact at all. Now the fans chant for Austin, likely wanting him to Stun them both and just end it at that. Two and a half minutes now. This is all considered part of the match mind you.

At 2:45 they lock up. Amusingly enough Goldberg is called a mixed martial arts aficionado. They go down to their knees in a lockup. That eats up literally 45 seconds and it’s back to staring at each other. We’re four minutes into a thirteen and a half minute match and the total amount of contact is 45 seconds, literally all of which is on a lockup. Think about paying a ticket to see this, one of the feature matches, and getting this. They deserve the crowd reaction they’re getting.

They lock up again and that eats up almost 30 more seconds. The crowd chants THIS MATCH SUCKS and they’re right. The first offensive move of the match comes five minutes in (and yes I’m counting via a counter on the video) with a headlock by Lesnar that goes nowhere. They exchange shoulder blocks and then knock each other down with them. We’re 6:30 into this now and the move list in its entirety is: tie up, tie up, head lock, Goldberg shoulder block, Lesnar shoulder block, double shoulder block.

FINALLY things pick up a bit as Lesnar kicks away. Goldberg is like screw that and press slams him, bringing him down with a half spear/half spinebuster. The regular spear misses though and Goldberg goes chest first into the post. We hit the floor for some Lesnar dominance. I guess that was all the offense Goldberg had in him. The fans aren’t that impressed and tell Goldberg that he sucks.

Back in now and Lesnar really upgrades his offense with a suplex. Into a headlock with an arm trap. This is terrible. This eats up about a minute until Goldberg flips him to ZERO pop. Oh hey let’s go right back to the hold again because it worked so well the first time. Then they ram into each other again and are both down. The fans are livid by the way.

Ross calls the match pedestrian. No Ross, taking a walk would be way more interesting than this. The fans boo the heck out of it as Goldberg makes his comeback. The crowd is chanting for Hogan. In 2004. Wow. Spinning neckbreaker sets up the spear for two. Yeah back then they wanted to drop the Jackhammer because the company was really stupid. F5 hits out of nowhere for two as well. Lesnar misses the spear and then the spear and Jackhammer ends it to make Goldberg 1-0!

Rating: F. This was a disgrace. I don’t care if you’re leaving or not, you don’t do it that way. No excuse for this whatsoever.

Austin, who did NOTHING in the match, stuns both guys post match to try and keep the fans from storming the ring to kill the guys in the match.

WM 21 is in LA.

Vince comes out and says there’s someone that should be thanked for Mania making it to #20. He then amazes even me, perhaps the most jaded wrestling fan there is and he thanks the fans. This amazed me to no end when I saw it and it still does today. Love him or hate him, this was pure class right here.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Rikishi/Scotty 2 Hotty vs. APA vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Basham Brothers

More filler here before we get to the real main events. This is one fall to a finish again. The APA was more or less worthless by this point. I didn’t even know they were still together in 04. Bradshaw would be world champion in the summer. Rikishi and Scotty have the titles coming in here. Bradshaw vs. Benjamin to start us off here.

After JBL takes Shelton down for awhile, Doug Basham tags himself in and I just do not care at this point. Absolutely nothing of note is going on here. Haas vs. Scotty at the moment. Crowd simply does not care either and it’s obvious. Bearhug to Scotty but a Basham comes in for the…save? Scotty is the face in peril I guess. He gets an enziguri but kicks Doug into Danny to keep Scotty from making the tag again.

Off to Rikishi who cleans house. I think he was supposed to be the grizzled veteran that could beat up just about anyone in the match. They pushed him like that for awhile and it didn’t work incredibly well. German attempt by Benjamin but the power of fat sends him to the floor. Haas gets a Stinkface for not funny comedy. Bradshaw comes in to clean house but walks into a Samoan Drop and then Rikishi drops down onto Danny to retain.
Rating: D. Pointless filler. These teams were worthless by this point anyway as they were all on the verge of breaking up. Shelton was in the IC title hunt within a year, JBL debuted that Summer, the Bashams were fired soon thereafter and no one ever cared about Rikishi and Scotty anyway. Total waste of time.

Edge is coming back.

Jesse Ventura is with Donald Trump at ringside. This was when the Apprentice was still a hot show so Trump was a celebrity here. I don’t like him but you have to admit, the guy apparently likes wrestling as this was the 4th show he was a part of. Jesse implies he’ll run for President someday, getting a big pop.

Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Molly Holly

This is belt vs. hair with Victoria as champion. Victoria got hotter every time I saw her. The crowd is already more into this than they were for the entire previous match. Molly works the arm to control but gets rolled up for two. Suplex gets two for Molly. Molly is a virgin and wears big underwear which is the focal point of the match. She uses really basic stuff and it’s rather boring. Sunset Bomb gets two and then Molly tries the Widow’s Peak. That doesn’t work and Victoria gets a backslide to retain.

Rating: D+. Short and pretty dull. The real thing here was the shaved diva which doesn’t really do much as the stipulation was more or less just thrown on. Lack of an interesting match for the most part but at least Victoria looked good in those little white shorts.

Head shaving ensues.

We recap Eddie vs. Angle. The idea in short is Eddie is a former drug addict and Kurt says that means he shouldn’t represent Smackdown. The idea is that Eddie is in over his head and Heyman, the Smackdown GM, is against Eddie too for no apparent reason.

During the video package, Molly is still being shaved.
Smackdown Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

They lock up in the first minute, already far ahead of Lesnar vs. Goldberg as far as pacing goes. We start with some mat stuff where Eddie is talented but in over his head. Angle takes him down with a judo throw and grabs a headlock. Let’s go Angle/Angle Sucks chants begin dueling. Angle runs him over with a shoulder and it’s a standoff.

Eddie gets a set of shoulder blocks and Angle hits the floor to clear his head. Back in and Angle takes it back to the mat which is where he’s definitely in control for the most part. Front facelock goes on to drain some energy out of the champion. Eddie escapes and we go back to the mat again with Eddie controlling a keylock. This is well done stuff as they’re definitely keeping things interesting out there for this.

Knee to the ribs takes Eddie down and it’s off to an abdominal stretch. Eddie reverses and tries Three Amigos but can only get one as Kurt gets a German. Out to the apron and Angle of course can’t get the German to the floor because it would, you know, kill Eddie. Eddie knocks him to the floor and dives out at Angle but misses, hitting the barrier chest first. That gets two back in the ring.

Angle works on the ribs/midsection even more, eventually hot shotting Eddie onto the top rope for two. Belly to belly sends Eddie flying. Another gets two and it’s back to the ribs. Angle shifts it into a bearhug and then into a belly to belly for two. Middle rope belly to belly is blocked as is the running belly to belly. Frog Splash misses and Eddie’s momentum is gone just as fast as it arrived.

Kurt hammers away as Cole calls him a hypocrite for talking about how Eddie is a disgrace. Eddie shrugs it off and wants more shots. He fires back and gets a little momentum going. A charge in the corner misses and Eddie gets a belly to back suplex for two. Eddie still can’t get Three Amigos and it’s Rolling German time. The second is reversed into a rollup for two and then Angle drills Eddie to take him right back down again.

Angle Slam is countered and Eddie speeds things up a bit. Three Amigos are attempted again and again Kurt counters after a second one. Ankle Lock goes on for a bit but not that long. Dropkick puts Kurt down but as Eddie goes for the Frog Splash Angle gets the running belly to belly two. After a rollup gets two Eddie is caught in a German for two.

Another counter to the Angle Slam, this one in the form of a DDT sets up the Frog Splash for two. Has that ever happened before? Angle plays possum and picks the ankle out of nowhere into the ankle lock. Again he manages to send Kurt to the floor and Eddie is unlacing his boot. Angle doesn’t see this and comes right back with the ankle lock. Eddie kicks the hold off and the boot goes off with it. He grabs a small package on the confused Kurt (and wraps his feet around the ropes to cheat a bit) to retain in a brilliant ending.

Rating: A. Excellent stuff here. There’s definitely a story here with Eddie going move for move with Angle but in the end going back to his roots to pick up the upset. Also look at the intelligence that Eddie shows at the end by playing possum just like Kurt did seconds before to beat Angle as he goes just a step too far to retain the title. Go find this match and watch it. You’ll learn something.

We recap Taker vs. Kane. Kane had buried Taker yet again. This time it was over Taker turning into the American and ceasing to be a monster. I guess the tag title run they had together didn’t count? At the Rumble a Taker Gong went off to scare the heck out of Kane and the distraction let Booker put him out. This kept happening until it was announced his return would be here at Mania.

Undertaker vs. Kane

 

Yeah the build here isn’t quite as good as their first Mania match. Taker gets the full on Mania entrance, complete with darkness, chanting, fire, druids, and PAUL BEARER!!! Taker’s hair isn’t even to his shoulders here so the look is a bit off. Oh and he wears a cowboy hat now. Kane is all scared to death here and shouts that Taker isn’t real. He reaches out and touches Taker (there’s an old commercial in there somewhere) and Taker hammers away.

Kane hides on the floor and Taker starts his usual stuff. The ending is so obvious here it’s unreal. Some corner clotheslines put Kane down but the Last Ride is blocked. They mess up the reverse back body drop as they’re about three feet away from the ropes. Taker does some ground and pound but walks into a sidewalk slam. Top rope clothesline gets two.

They slug it out which of course Taker wins. Kane misses a charge in the corner and a running big boot puts Kane down. Old School is caught by a chokeslam and Kane stops to laugh. Taker sits up, Kane panics and I think you know what’s going to end the match.

Rating: D. This was pretty bad. Taker completely squashed Kane here, which to be fair is more or less Kane’s job. Not much of a match at all although that’s what the people wanted I think. Taker has been the same character since this point for the most part and this was the beginning of the modern Taker.

We recap the Raw World Title match. HHH is champion, Benoit won the Rumble and should get the one on one shot. However, at the Rumble Shawn and HHH tied in a Last Man Standing match so Shawn says he should get another shot. Always thought that was ridiculous. Shawn had his chance, but he didn’t win. It shouldn’t be him again. Anyway he signed the contract anyway so Austin made it a triple threat. The video more or less shows Shawn as a heel because he just wouldn’t let Benoit have his moment.

Raw World Title: Chris Benoit vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

 

Surprisingly normal entrance for HHH here although he’s wearing white boots. We even get a weapons check which you never see anymore. Everyone goes after everyone to start us off here with Shawn avoiding a Crossface. HHH to the floor and the others slug it out. He comes back in when he thinks it’s best as we’re in a slow build here.

DX explodes for a bit and the fans think someone screwed Bret. Leaping knee gets two. Some nice tandem stuff lets Shawn hit a moonsault off the top to the floor to take everyone out. HHH and Shawn go back to the ring now with Benoit out on the floor. Facebuster to Shawn but he can’t hit the Pedigree as Chris saves. Shawn’s shoulder goes into the post and Benoit hits a snap suplex on HHH.

With Benoit in the Tree of Woe HHH throws Shawn into him in a cool spot. Shawn nips up so Benoit knocks him to the floor. Benoit hits Rolling Germans on the Game Shawn stops the headbutt and HHH takes him down with a DDT. Superplex by HHH gets two on Benoit. Make that three twos. The fans like Benoit here. Pedigree is reversed into a bad Crossface which Shawn breaks up.

Rolling Germans by Shawn are booed and reversed into a set by Benoit. Headbutt to Shawn gets two. Forearm and nipup by Shawn but there’s no one else in the ring. HHH comes in and gets beaten on for a bit. Elbow hits and the Band is Tuned Up. The kick connects but Benoit saves. Shawn vs. Benoit now with Shawn being launched into the post to bust him open. Terrible Crossface to Shawn and HHH grabs his arm before he can tap.

Benoit and HHH hit the floor for some brawling while Shawn is down. HHH sends him into the steps and preps the announce table. Just the Smackdown one though, not the Spanish one. Benoit, ever the traditionalist, puts HHH on the Spanish one. German is blocked as it the Pedigree. Shawn pops up and DX suplexes/drops Benoit through the SD table in a cool visual.

Back in the ring now it’s Shawn vs. HHH. They slug it out with neither guy taking over. HHH is sent to the floor and a cameraman is taken out. Ross wants an EMT for Benoit. HHH gets posted (without spam) and is busted as well. Pedigree out of NOWHERE is the counter to some punches. Somehow Benoit makes the save and the crowd pops like a cherry.

Benoit chops away but HHH grabs a Pedigree attempt which is reversed into a long Sharpshooter in an eruption. Shawn kicks Chris’ head off though which somehow only gets two. Ross’ voice is almost gone here. Loud Benoit chant starts up as Shawn Tunes Up the Band. Benoit backdrops him to the floor and walks into another Pedigree attempt. Benoit counters that into a Crossface with HHH in agony. HHH rolls backwards but Benoit hangs on and HHH taps, giving Benoit the World Title in the main event of Wrestlemania.

Rating: A+. Great match, everything clicked, absolute classic. There’s nothing else I can say here.

Eddie comes out to celebrate with Benoit in a classic Wrestlemania moment.

Overall Rating: B. This is good but the length starts to get old after awhile. At 4 ½ hours long it needs about an hour cut off to be a classic. Still though with two great world title matches and some other good stuff in there it’s hard to argue. Also we get a legit Mania moment to end the show which is never a bad thing. Good show and worth seeing, but be ready to fast forward some stuff.

 

 

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