IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: January 25, 2001
Location: Mobile Civic Center, Mobile, Alabama
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

This is the first of two shows that someone asked me to review in a row and since I’ve gone nuts covering stuff in advance this week, I might as well get to the first of them. We’re just past the Royal Rumble and coming up on No Way Out, meaning Wrestlemania is just around the corner. Things are getting awesome again and hopefully that’s the case here. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look back at last week, where Steve Austin cost HHH the WWF Title. HHH was ready to blast Austin with the sledgehammer but WWF Champion Kurt Angle came out to say he cost HHH the title. A fight was teased with Angle calling him monkey boy. Trish Stratus came out and challenged Stephanie McMahon for a bonus. After some, ahem, convincing from Trish, Vince agreed to make a mixed tag. Stephanie and Trish beat each other up until HHH Pedigreed Trish to give Stephanie the pin. Austin came out and beat up HHH to end the show. And now you’re caught up on the main event, which you never get today.

Opening sequence.

Undertaker vs. Rikishi

Ah the days of main event heel Rikishi. The brawl starts on the floor with Undertaker sending Rikishi head first into the steps but stopping to glare at the referee. They get in for the first time with a running clothesline in the corner rocking Rikishi again. Old School connects but Rikishi runs him over and drops a big leg. Undertaker is right back up with the jumping clothesline for two of his own before it’s back to the right hands. There’s the running DDT but Haku (Rikishi’s partner) comes in for the DQ.

Post match the beatdown is on with a double headbutt dropping Undertaker. Rikishi sits on his chest but here’s Kane for the save. Undertaker isn’t sure what to think of Kane before raising his hand.

A ticked off Vince arrives in the limo and yells at the driver for making him 20 minutes later. That’s early around here. Vince fires the driver anyway.

Here’s Vince in the arena to blow off some steam. Notice something here: we’re about 20 minutes into the show and we’ve had a long recap (longer than necessary but fine) and a match. We didn’t spent fifteen minutes settling into the show and kill the buzz right off the bat. Why is that so complicated? Anyway Vince complains about the driver again and says that believe it or not, there is intelligent life here in Mobile.

Now it’s time to complain about the dental situation but Vince stops to listen to the fans booing. With that out of the way, Vince talks about the mixed tag from Monday and isn’t happy about Angle manhandling Stephanie. Then to make it worse, Trish was driven CHEST FIRST into the mat by a Pedigree, all followed by Austin interfering again. To make sure that doesn’t happen again, Austin and HHH have the night off. Instead they’ll face off at No Way Out with the contract signing taking place on Monday.

As for tonight though, Angle needs to get out here RIGHT NOW. Angle comes out and talks about how much he respects him and even throws in a salute. We get an official apology for what happened to Stephanie and Trish but that’s not good enough. That’s why tonight, Angle is defending against Kane. And they’re out without some big explanation. Keep this stuff moving.

Jeff Hardy/Bradshaw vs. Matt Hardy/Faarooq

Well ok then. This is fallout from the Hardys brawling in the Rumble so they start against each other here. Jeff punches him to the floor but misses a dive as Lita and Jacqueline are watching in the back. Back in and Jeff jumps over Matt in the corner and dropkicks him in the back to take over. Jeff gets shoved off the top to set up the screaming legdrop and there go the shirts. The jawbreaker takes Matt down so it’s off to Bradshaw who gets two off a slam….with Faarooq making the save.

Now it’s the battle of the APA (King: “We’re about to experience Bar Wars!”) with Faarooq nailing the powerslam. They fight to the floor and Bradshaw gets sent into the steps. The ref has to take a chair away from Faarooq so it’s a spinebuster to drop Bradshaw instead. There’s no cover though, allowing Bradshaw to hit the Clothesline for a double knockdown. Jeff tags himself in and the Hardys double team Faarooq, with Matt hitting the Twist of Fate into the Swanton for the pin. King: “Are the Hardys drunk?”

Rating: D. Well that’s a thing that happened and actually it made me want to see the APA have a one off hoss fight. It’s likely to be more entertaining than the various Hardys matches over the years. The ending at least made sense as the Hardys are going to be more about each other than themselves so everything is fine. Well not the match but everything else.

Tough Enough video auditions in the days before digital cameras. Included: Justin Roberts.

Vince is on the phone with someone (presumably Trish) and tells her to just stay in bed and get better. Linda’s doctor calls in and Vince tells him to double her medication. Vince sees HHH arrive and gets off the phone.

Post break Vince wants to know why HHH is here. HHH thinks Austin will be here because things happen. Like what happened to a certain lady on Raw. HHH wants to know which lady Vince is more worried about. Vince throws him out.

We look at the still incredible Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho ladder match from the Rumble.

Here’s the Rock to do commentary on the next match.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Big Show

Jericho is defending while being very banged up after winning the title on Sunday. It’s weird seeing Show slim after his stint in OVW where he lost a ton of weight. Jericho charges in to start and is gorilla pressed onto his face for a crash. Show goes after him and gets his throat snapped across the top rope to give Jericho an opening.

A ribs first ram into the post keeps Jericho down as the fans chant for Rock. The bearhug goes on (well duh) for a bit until Jericho slips out and goes for the knee in a smart move. A Walls attempt is easily blocked by a hand around the throat and the Final Cut (Eye of the Hurricane)….draws in Chris Benoit to go after Show for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and Jericho couldn’t do much against someone that big. What we got wasn’t too bad though and they could have done something better with the right amount of time. That being said, Jericho wasn’t about to lose the title so soon after winning it in such a great match just a few days earlier.

Post match Show gets rid of Benoit and goes after Rock, who hits him in the head with the title. Jericho’s forearm off the apron sets up the Rock Bottom on the floor to leave Show laying.

Austin is here. I’m shocked too.

HHH looks around the room where Austin just was but no one has seen him. Threats ensue.

K-Kwik vs. Tazz

That would be R-Truth, who is basically the same person he would be about eighteen years later (minus the insanity). Kwik starts fast (quickly you might say) and kicks Tazz in the face, followed by a missile dropkick for two. Tazz is right back with a t-bone Tazplex for two of his own, followed by a hard clothesline. Some slaps (called punches) have Tazz in trouble and there’s a powerslam, but here’s Kaientai for the overdubbed voices (those still make me laugh). They’re impressed by Kwik’s funky hair and the distraction lets Tazz grab the Tazmission for the win.

Post match Kaientai admits that they distracted Kwik on purpose, due to reasons of EVIL.

We look at Drew Carey’s time at and in the Royal Rumble. Still one of the best celebrity cameos ever.

Austin is outside drinking beer.

Post break HHH goes to find him but there’s no Austin. The beer cans are still there though.

European Title: Test vs. Christian

Test is defending. Before the match, Christian says Edge is out with a stomach ache after eating the food here in Mobile (which he pronounces incorrectly). Since Alabama is stupid, Christian gives us a quiz: Test is either A, a Reekazoid, B, has more teeth than everyone in this city or C, is about to become the shortest reigning European Champion of all time. It’s D, all of the above (it always is).

Christian jumps him at the bell and bumps the referee, allowing him to miss a belt shot. Test gets in a shot to put him on the floor and there’s the full nelson slam but the ref is still down. Now the belt shot can connect for a slow two and frustration is upon up. Test’s always cool looking tilt-a-whirl slam sets up a faceplant for two more as they’re certainly moving out there. The pumphandle powerslam is broken up so Christian heads up, only to get backdropped down. Test’s big boot retains the title.

Rating: C. This was another short one (more on that later) but rather entertaining as I really liked Test at this point. He had the look, the power game and the athleticism to make himself something entertaining but after last year, there wasn’t anything else for him to do. This was as good as he was going to get and that’s not the worst place to be.

HHH sees Austin having a beer with Kaientai. Since there is no Austin after the break, HHH beats both of them up. Since they’re EVIL, does that make HHH a hero?

We look at Chyna injuring her neck in a match against Ivory at the Royal Rumble. That earned her a stretcher job and a ride in an ambulance. She currently has bone fragments in her neck, which have to be removed.

Hollys vs. Right To Censor

That would be the same Right To Censor (Goodfather/Bull Buchanan for the team here) who were very pleased with what happened to Chyna. The hometown Hollys have Molly with them to counter Steven Richards and Ivory. Crash gets taken into the wrong corner to start and the beating is on in a hurry. A powerslam takes him down again and Buchanan does his awesome rope walk clothesline (unfortunately that was the only thing he could do).

Some forearms are cut off by Goodfather’s elbow as King worries about Angle facing Kane tonight. The Ho train misses and it’s off to Hardcore for the house cleaning. The hanging kick between the legs (to the stomach of course) keeps Buchanan in trouble and Richards gets taken down. Buchanan is right back with a DDT on Hardcore but Ivory’s Women’s Title hits Buchanan by mistake, allowing Hardcore to get in the dropkick for the pin.

Rating: C-. See, now why is that so much to ask? The hometown guys get a win to make the fans happy and it’s a protected loss for the RTC as they have something going on. This is the kind of thing that can be done without ticking the fans off and it’s not like anyone outside of the live audience is going to remember this in a week.

HHH has been ordered to Vince’s office.

We recap the night, which seems a bit like filler.

HHH comes up to Vince, who didn’t send for him. They figure out that Austin is waiting in the office so Vince keeps talking as HHH looks behind those see thru screens that serve no purpose. Now given that they are see thru, Austin would be able to see HHH motioning for Vince to keep talking, but that’s beside the point, mainly because Austin followed them in. HHH accidentally hits Vince with a metal tray and Austin beats both of them up.

And now, here’s the same thing again.

WWF Title: Kurt Angle vs. Kane

Kane is challenging and Angle is scared to death. Before the match, Angle calls Kane out for his short title reign back in 1998. If Kane thinks he’s winning it back, his brain is more burned than his face. Angle insists that it is NOT a knock against burn victims, because he has a lot of fans who are burn victims! Angle’s belt shot misses (there have been a lot of those tonight) and the fight starts on the floor before the bell.

Kane throws him halfway inside for the bell and some elbows to the chest keep the champ in trouble. The threat of a chokeslam sends Angle to the ropes but we cut to the back to see Haku and Rikishi beating Undertaker down. Back in the arena, Kane doesn’t notice and hits a clothesline. Some suplexes just make Kane sit up a few times and a clothesline does the same. A backdrop sends Angle flying as he can’t do anything with the monster. Angle finally goes with a front facelock to slow him down but that doesn’t work either.

Instead Angle grabs a chair, which Kane kicks straight back into his face. There’s the side slam top drop Angle again and the top rope clothesline connects. Cue Haku and Rikishi though with the referee somehow not calling for the DQ. With the referee yelling at Rikishi, Haku chairs Kane twice and superkicks him down so Angle can retain.

Rating: C+. Not bad at all here and they even covered why Undertaker wasn’t out there. This was another protected loss and that’s the right move with someone as hot as Kane was coming off the Royal Rumble. Angle escapes with the title, which fits him perfectly, and the match was fine enough. It was well booked instead of being great, which is an acceptable way to go.

Post match Kane gets beaten down so here’s a beaten up Undertaker for the save. Another beatdown lets Rikishi and Haku stand tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. So why did this work so well? A lot of it would be how fast they kept things, which yes, does mean they kept the matches short. It’s ok to have a long match every now and then but when you’re having multiple fifteen minute matches every week, the fans aren’t going to keep paying attention. This show moved around very well and the big stories held it together. Of course the talent helped, but they kept thing flowing and that’s almost as important. Very fun show here and the followup should be good too.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 16, 2004
Location: Gaylord Entertainment Center, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re done with Armageddon so now it’s time to get to the Royal Rumble, but before that we have the real important thing to get through: the finals of Tough Enough. Normally I would say the competition hasn’t been that bad, but some of the last few weeks have been such a mess that I can’t bring myself to go there. At least it’s wrapping up though and we can get back to something better. Like JBL. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Orlando Jordan to welcome JBL to the ring. It’s a special introduction this week with the limo decked out in bunting and JBL standing on top with Amy Weber, who is helped down by the Bashams. Naturally we get the red, white and blue balloons and confetti falling because that’s the kind of thing JBL would do. JBL talks about some great moments in American history, such as the end of the Great Depression and Ronald Reagan tearing down the Berlin Wall.

Those are the kind of moments that were joined by him defeating three challengers on Sunday, despite a General Manager being so biased and corrupt against him. How many people here bought a ticket to see a new champion here tonight? That’s ok, because he has a Christmas gift for Amy. That would be a tiara, followed by JBL starting a chant of his own name.

This brings out Kurt Angle of all people and it’s a staredown between Angle and company and the Cabinet. JBL hopes this is so Angle can offer congratulations but Angle is confused. He can’t believe that JBL thinks he’s the greatest champion of all time or that his victory was the greatest title win ever. Angle: “Are you out of your freaking mind?”

JBL wants his congratulations and an exit from Angle but instead it’s Kurt saying that HE is the greatest champion of all time. Like when he beat Steve Austin, the Rock, Rikishi, Undertaker and HHH inside the Cell at Armageddon 2000. Angle: “I INVENTED the over the top championship celebrations bucko!” JBL: “You didn’t just call me bucko.” Angle affirms that he did call him bucko, bucko. JBL says the Cell match was four years ago, but this year he lost a 3-1 match to Big Show.

That doesn’t matter because Angle could beat JBL without breaking a sweat BUCKO. JBL accepts a title challenge…but not for tonight. He implies that Amy wore him out after he retained the title so it’s vacation time for the rest of the year. This brings out Theodore Long to say he’ll make decisions about title matches. Therefore tonight, Angle vs. JBL is happening and the title is on the line. I’m sure Big Show is thrilled about this as WWE basically admits that Armageddon meant nothing.

Rob Van Dam/Rey Mysterio vs. Akio/Billy Kidman

Non-title. Rey and Kidman start (good idea) with Mysterio getting taken into the corner and stomped down. That’s fine with Rey, who comes back with some kicks to Akio’s legs but it’s too early for the 619. Instead Rey is sent outside and knocked off the apron so Kidman can get in a great dropkick on the floor.

Rey fights out of a chinlock and grabs a reverse neckbreaker but spins around into a faceplant for a move I haven’t seen before. Rob comes in to start clotheslining away, setting up Rolling Thunder for two. A monkey flip sends Kidman into the middle of the ring for a basement dropkick but Akio takes Rey to the floor. The BK Bomb plants Rob but Rey comes back in to break up the shooting star. The Five Star finishes Kidman.

Rating: C. This is the kind of match that the show could benefit from. Kidman and Akio aren’t going to be a regular team and they’re not the next big thing but it’s cool to see them thrown together in a one off match like this for a fresh option. It’s not a bad little match either, which is always a plus.

Here’s Torrie Wilson in a rather revealing Uncle Sam outfit. She’s proud of having helped entertain the troops last year and she’ll be doing it again next week. This was just an excuse for Torrie to be in the outfit.

The announcers talk about Tribute to the Troops when Heidenreich raids commentary. With Michael Cole running away (makes sense), Heidenreich puts a chair in the ring and reads a poem about wanting to replace Undertaker. Can we please find something better for Undertaker to do already???

Eddie Guerrero say they’re on the same page when another new woman named Lauren comes up. Booker hits on her and Eddie makes fun of him as she leaves. Eddie is ready to have a singles match next week for Tribute to the Troops, nearly triggering a fight. That might have been the most random cameo I’ve seen in years.

Michelle McCool says Theodore Long is meditating and can’t see Orlando Jordan. She slams the door in his face so here’s Luther Reigns to talk about hoe great Kurt Angle is. They go back and forth over how awesome their bosses are, down to Angle is nice to animals and JBL gives to charity. JBL offering medical care gets Reigns’ attention but he gets back to his normal arguments. All this did was show how lame both guys’ lackeys are.

Kenzo Suzuki/Rene Dupree vs. Eddie Guerrero/Booker T.

Booker and Rene start slowly as Tazz can’t remember what kind of warrior Kenzo is. Eddie comes in and gets elbowed in the face as Booker is facing the crowd for some reason. Some stomping in the corner has Rene in trouble with some blood coming from the nose. Booker comes in and kicks Kenzo in the face for two as the announcers talk about anything but the match. The fast tagging continues with Booker sending Kenzo outside as we take a very abrupt break.

Back with Kenzo still in trouble until a tag to Rene lets him get beaten up instead. A cheap shot lets Rene take over on Booker though and it’s Kenzo grabbing the nerve hold. That’s broken up and Booker hits a nice flapjack to drop Rene face first. That’s enough for the hot tag to Eddie so the pace can pick up but Kenzo blocks the third Amigo. Everything breaks down and it’s a Book End to Suzuki. Hiroko’s kendo stick interference is broken up so it’s an ax kick to set up the frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C-. Kind of sloppy at times here but it’s nice to see Kenzo and Dupree going away already. There isn’t anything special to them and getting them out of the title picture is the best thing that can happen for everyone involved. They’re fine as jobbers and little more, but having them as champions for two months was a chore. Eddie and Booker don’t seem like a long term solution, but at least they had a watchable match.

JBL is fine with Jordan not getting the match called off. He’s not happy with getting to go wrestle in the Middle East next week though and backtracks in a hurry. Carlito comes in and suggests they get together to deal with Theodore Long. JBL is interested.

And now, here’s the full John Cena vs. Jesus match from the pay per view, complete with black and white shots when Jesus was bleeding. For the sake of filling in some space:

US Title: John Cena vs. Jesus

Cena is defending and it’s a street fight with falls counting anywhere. Just to rub in the awful of this show, Cena debuts the spinner US Title design which would beget the most annoying title in wrestling history. Jesus, still carrying Cena’s chain, and Carlito mock Cena’s kidney injury because they’re not that bright. Cena starts before the bell and hits one of the longest strings of punches I can remember to knock Jesus silly early on.

Carlito slips Jesus a kendo stick for a shot to the bad kidney but Cena takes it away and beats on Jesus even more. The stick is broken over Jesus’ arm and Cena glares Carlito up the ramp. A busted open Jesus is kicked into the crowd and Cena knocks him around the arena as this is completely one sided. Carlito runs back in for a cheap shot to save Jesus from being thrown off a balcony but Cena doesn’t seem to mind. The beating takes Jesus back to ringside and some metal shots to the head make things even worse. The FU finishes Jesus in a complete squash.

Rating: D. This was a squash that just happened to go about eight minutes. It was smart to have Cena pushed this hard because it’s not like anyone was buying Jesus as a threat to the title at all. After a performance like that, there is no way you can hold him back from the main event much longer and I think WWE knows it. This was it for Jesus too, as there wasn’t much you could do with him at the moment without a big repackaging.

Here’s Al Snow for the Tough Enough finale. Daniel Puder and Mike Mizanin come out and Puder is announced as the winner, which should have been the case given how much charisma he showed. Nearly making Angle tap on TV helped too. Puder talks about how hard he trained to get here and he isn’t done yet. Snow has another surprise: Puder is officially in the Royal Rumble. That comes off as an actual surprise as Puder looks stunned. Mizanin doesn’t get to say anything, but he does congratulate Puder on his win.

Angle rants about the state of American sports today and says America needs him. Reigns hints at Angle giving him healthcare for a back injury but Angle shouts him down instead.

Theodore Long is on commentary for the main event but first he has an announcement: next week it’s Heidenreich vs. Undertaker.

Here’s Joy Giovanni in a rather nice Santa outfit to throw candy canes to the crowd.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is challenging. JBL accepts a candy cane from Joy and Amy doesn’t like it, meaning the catfight is on with both of them losing their tops. Joy runs when Reigns gets too close and everyone is ejected for the sake of some sanity. We take a break and come back joined in progress with JBL giving us a clean break out of the corner. Angle takes over on the arm until a right hand takes care of that.

A belly to belly works a bit better for Angle but JBL runs him over and drops three straight elbows for two. The chinlock goes on for all of a few seconds before Angle escapes into the ankle lock. That’s enough to send JBL to the ropes and then the floor, with Angle being whipped into the steps. Back from a break with JBL shouldering Angle down again and grabbing an armbar of his own.

That’s broken up so JBL grabs a powerslam, which is countered into a reverse DDT for a double knockdown. JBL gets in the fall away slam but the Clothesline From JBL is countered into the rolling German suplexes. The ankle lock goes on so JBL kicks away, setting up the Angle Slam for two.

JBL pulls Angle down by the bad shoulder but a powerbomb is countered into another ankle lock. Cue the Bashams/Reigns/Jindrak for the brawl on the floor as JBL taps but the referee is distracted. Jordan comes in with the belt shot for a close two and Angle grabs the ankle lock again. This time Jordan comes in for the DQ to save the title.

Rating: B-. This wasn’t a bad match at all with both guys looking pretty good, even with the obvious ending taking place. JBL’s matches continue to be pretty decent most of the time, but that doesn’t make him the most exciting champion in the world. This is likely going to set up the Royal Rumble title match, though it’s going to need a little more.

Post match Big Show runs in to clean house and motion that he wants the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. It was a pretty tame show this week with that Cena vs. Jesus match in the middle being rather weird. Maybe Cena went ahead overseas and wasn’t available for the show? Anyway, the rest of the show wasn’t terrible, but it was also nothing very interesting. At least Tough Enough went by quickly and didn’t take up a lot of time. We’re starting to gear up for the Rumble though and that’s the best thing that can happen to the company at the moment. Not a very good show this week, but they at least have a direction for the time being.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Armageddon 2004
Date: December 12, 2004
Location: Gwinnett Center, Duluth, Georgia
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the final, and normally least inspired, pay per view of the year and this time around it’s all about JBL to make things even less interesting. Tonight JBL is defending the title against Undertaker, Eddie Guerrero and Booker T. in a four way, which takes away a lot of the talent from the rest of the card. Other than that we have….I guess the other big match is the Tough Enough boxing match? Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses entirely on the main event, which really is all that matters on this show.

Tag Team Titles: Rob Van Dam/Rey Mysterio vs. Rene Dupree/Kenzo Suzuki

Rob and Rey are defending after winning the titles earlier this week. Kenzo headscissors Rob down to start so it’s a bunch of flips to get us to a standoff. The (first of many) kick to the face drops Kenzo and it’s the 420 for two with Cole again explaining it as fast as he can. He does add in “of course” before the explanation, because it’s the ONLY possible meaning. Rey gets whipped hard into the corner and it’s the challengers taking over for the first time. Rene comes in and gets cocky so Rey picks up the pace but a Kenzo distraction cuts that off.

That earns Kenzo a springboard kick from Rob, knocking him into a powerbomb to the floor from Rey. The spinning kick to the back hits Rene in the back but he’s right back with a good looking dropkick to the face. Rob shrugs that off and catapults Rene into a springboard seated senton, which barely connects and didn’t look very good as a result. Kenzo gets in a kick of his own and the chinlock goes on. That doesn’t last long either as Rob kicks his way out and brings Rey in.

This time it’s Hiroko offering a distraction so Rene can get in a neck snap across the top. Cue Torrie to chase Hiroko off, leaving Kenzo to drop a knee for two on Rey. An armbar starts in on Rey’s arm and Rene adds a dropkick to the shoulder. Normally it would make more sense to go after Rey’s knee but at least there’s an idea. Rene’s powerbomb is broken up and Rey dives for the tag but Rene stops it with ease. The villains cut the ring off again with Kenzo hitting a running clothesline for two.

We now pause for the French Tickler, with Kenzo adding his own while on the apron. The dancing takes too long (as always) and Rene goes shoulder first into the post, allowing the hot tag off to Van Dam. Everything breaks down and the Chalupa Roll (slingshot legdrop/Rolling Thunder) gets two on Rene with Kenzo making the save. A sloppy looking crossbody gets the same on Rene with Kenzo saving again. Rey is fine enough to hit the double 619 and the Five Star to Rene retains the titles.

Rating: B-. Not too bad here as the chemistry continues. They got some extra time here to make things that much better, as Kenzo and Rene had some good, old school styling. Rob and Rey winning the titles here would have been a nice moment but it’s not like it’s that big of a problem one way or another. Good opener, though there was some sloppiness to overcome.

Daniel Puder promises to make Mike Mizanin feel the two true pains: his right and his left. He says Mike over and over again and stumbles a few times, but the intensity helps.

Here’s Kurt Angle for a bonus Kurt Angle Invitational before his scheduled match later tonight. Angle has found a perfect challenger, who is admired by millions and takes his job very seriously. Ladies and gentlemen, SANTA CLAUS!!! Santa throws out candy to the fans but Angle says he needs to get back to the North Pole with Tazz and the other elves. Kurt doesn’t like him though because his daughter only wants to write letters to Santa instead of talking to him. Tonight, Santa is tapping out.

Kurt Angle vs. Santa Claus

Angle Slam and ankle lock for the win in 45 seconds. I bet he gets Cole for Christmas.

Mizanin says he’s never been an underdog and he won’t look stupid tonight. The underdog is going to have some bite tonight. It’s not much of a promo but the last two he’s had have had a point to them and he’s stuck with it so he’s learning.

Long recap of the entire Tough Enough contest so far.

Daniel Puder vs. Mike Mizanin

This is a boxing match with three one minute rounds and Al Snow on commentary. Theodore Long comes out for a long introduction and we actually have boxing commission representatives and a state issued referee because this is apparently serious. They both go nuts with punches with Miz (thank goodness that name is officially used now and I don’t have to go back and change it every time) throwing wildly and Puder showing what is likely some boxing training for MMA. Puder slips a bit and goes down to a knee with neither being a definitive winner.

Tazz actually brings up the Brawl For All between the rounds, likely earning himself a fine. The second round is a lot more subdued as they’re both winded. Puder gets in a clear rabbit punch and a few good shots have Miz staggered to end the round. The fans are loudly booing now as round three starts and they slug it out again with Puder getting the better of it to wrap things up. Puder wins on a fan decision, which is the right call as he won the second and third rounds. This was awful in case that wasn’t clear.

Post match Miz says Puder has a great overhand right. Puder says this isn’t his fight and he’s all about breaking arms.

Eddie Guerrero and Booker T. want to hurt JBL tonight and take the title. They both think they could beat each other but they each find the other’s idea hilarious. Eddie remembers that they have to deal with Undertaker though and they agree to team up against the other two. Undertaker comes in, stares at both of them, and keeps walking. You don’t see Undertaker in these segments very often and it felt out of place for him.

Basham Brothers vs. Charlie Haas/Hardcore Holly

Bonus match because only a handful of matches got any kind of proper build on this show. Holly headlocks Doug to start and hits some chops in the corner, followed by some general stomping. It’s off to Haas, who gets sent into the corner so the Bashams can take over. That lasts all of three seconds until Haas armdrags Danny down, only to get kicked in the back. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Danny punches him in the face for two.

An exploder suplex gets Haas out of trouble and it’s Holly coming in with a top rope clothesline. Cue Dawn Marie to check on Charlie, drawing out Jackie Gayda to yell. As Charlie’s life continues to crumble around him (I feel so sorry over a professional wrestler having two gorgeous women fighting over him), Doug gets the worst small package I’ve ever see (it didn’t go down smoothly and Holly’s shoulders were so far off the mat I couldn’t tell who was covering whom) for the pin.

Rating: D-. It’s a really bad sign when a show needs this kind of filler to break the two and a half hour mark. This was awful and would have been bad anywhere, even as a middle of the show match on Velocity. The Bashams aren’t the worst team in the world but they’re involved with the World Champion and needed the love triangle to beat Holly and Haas. Just bad all around.

We recap John Cena vs. Jesus. Cena lost the US Title to Carlito and was then stabbed in a club later that night. Then he came back and destroyed the injured Carlito to win the title back. Tonight Cena gets to beat up Jesus, who is likely the person who stabbed him. This was Cena’s launch up to the next level as he was suddenly this main event level monster with a fire in his eyes and you knew it was a matter of time before he took over the show.

US Title: John Cena vs. Jesus

Cena is defending and it’s a street fight with falls counting anywhere. Just to rub in the awful of this show, Cena debuts the spinner US Title design which would beget the most annoying title in wrestling history. Jesus, still carrying Cena’s chain, and Carlito mock Cena’s kidney injury because they’re not that bright. Cena starts before the bell and hits one of the longest strings of punches I can remember to knock Jesus silly early on.

Carlito slips Jesus a kendo stick for a shot to the bad kidney but Cena takes it away and beats on Jesus even more. The stick is broken over Jesus’ arm and Cena glares Carlito up the ramp. A busted open Jesus is kicked into the crowd and Cena knocks him around the arena as this is completely one sided. Carlito runs back in for a cheap shot to save Jesus from being thrown off a balcony but Cena doesn’t seem to mind. The beating takes Jesus back to ringside and some metal shots to the head make things even worse. The FU finishes Jesus in a complete squash.

Rating: D. This was a squash that just happened to go about eight minutes. It was smart to have Cena pushed this hard because it’s not like anyone was buying Jesus as a threat to the title at all. After a performance like that, there is no way you can hold him back from the main event much longer and I think WWE knows it. This was it for Jesus too, as there wasn’t much you could do with him at the moment without a big repackaging.

Jackie promises to finish Dawn once and for all tonight. Charlie is sick of this but puts on his referee shirt anyway. She promises to make it up to him tonight, which calms him down a bit. Charlie makes sure she takes her engagement ring off and puts it in his pocket.

Dawn Marie vs. Jackie Gayda

Charlie comes out with Jackie, just in case you were expecting impartiality. They trade slaps to start and then slug it out. Dawn gets the better of it and sends her into the buckle, followed by the rolling over the referee spot. A rollup with tights gives Dawn the pin.

Post match Charlie admits to the affair and ends the engagement. Jackie is too much like a dead wet fish in various ways but Dawn is like Atlanta on the 4^th of July. Charlie pulls out the engagement ring and drops to a knee for a question. Charlie: “Dawn, why are you such a s***?” He wouldn’t marry either of them and walks out.

Hey remember the Diva Search? Well now you can see a pay per view highlight package of the whole thing!

Joy Giovanni kisses Big Show for good luck. It’s quite the relationship, having gone for like two and a half weeks now.

Big Show vs. Kurt Angle/Mark Jindrak/Luther Reigns

Cole: “Here comes the man who earlier tonight made Santa Claus tap out.” This is the latest blowoff to the Angle vs. Show feud from the fall, which included Angle shooting him with a tranquilizer dart and shaving his head. Jindrak starts for the team but hang on as we need to look at his bicep. As the announcers debate whether Cole was in a bodybuilding competition or the Ziegfeld Follies, Show takes Jindrak into the corner for the overhand chop.

Angle comes in instead and is shoved right back away, meaning here’s Reigns for the first time. That’s not enough for Show, who pulls Jindrak in for a bonus. An Angle cheap shot gets Show caught up in the ropes and some kicks to the ribs keep him down. As expected, it’s Reigns and Jindrak doing most of the work, including a double suplex to give Jindrak two.

Angle comes back in for the reverse chinlock with a knee in Show’s back, followed by a choke over the bottom rope. Now it’s Jindrak with his own reverse chinlock until Show powers up and cleans house. The Alley Oop drops Jindrak and reigns is tossed to the floor but Angle gets in the Slam. The ankle lock is broken up in a hurry so Angle goes for the steps, which are kicked into his face. An F5 of all things finishes Jindrak.

Rating: D+. This felt like a Smackdown main event so it could have been a lot worse. The good thing is that there is nowhere else for the feud to go, meaning we should be done now that this match is over. The match wasn’t very good, but Show is pretty clearly next in line for a title shot after three major pay per view wins in a row.

Video on last year’s Tribute to the Troops. This year’s edition is in less than two weeks.

Funaki interviews himself about his Cruiserweight Title shot. Cruiserweight Champion Spike Dudley comes in to call this pathetic and says Funaki will never be champion. Funaki doesn’t seem to agree.

Cruiserweight Title: Funaki vs. Spike Dudley

Spike is defending after Funaki won a battle royal earlier this week. Feeling out process to start with Funaki taking it to the mat for some early frustration. Some rollups give Funaki two each as Tazz makes small package jokes about Cole. A little cranking on Spike’s arm sends him to the floor for a baseball slide as Spike can’t get anything going so far. Back in and they fight over a superplex to the floor until a release gordbuster drops Funaki to the floor this time.

It’s time to start in on the ribs with Spike grabbing an abdominal stretch with Funaki’s knee down on the mat. A regular abdominal stretch keeps Funaki in trouble until he sends Spike into the corner for the break. Funaki’s high crossbody gets two so Spike tries the Dudley Dog, which is reverses into a jackknife cover to give Funaki the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. Not too bad here, even if it was in the spot where no one was going to care about the thing. There’s only so much you can do for a Spike vs. Funaki match and everyone knew that. At least they got the title off of Spike, who wasn’t a bad champion but his time had come and gone. Now that being said, he’s a better option than Funaki, who feels as bottom of the barrel as you can get.

We recap the World Title match. JBL has cheated his way to retaining the title over all three challengers so tonight he has to face them all at once. This gets the music video treatment because it’s the only match that has gotten a major push on TV. How often do you see a multi man match with everyone from the same state in a national promotion?

The Cabinet gives JBL a subdued pep talk as he looks like he’s walking to the gallows.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Eddie Guerrero vs. Booker T. vs. Undertaker

JBL is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. The Cabinet is barred from ringside and if they interfere, JBL is stripped of the title. But if they help him win, doesn’t he just get the title back a few minutes later? If nothing else JBL is selling the heck out of his terror. JBL lets the other three beat each other up to start and it’s Undertaker booting Booker in the face so JBL can steal a near fall. No one is happy with that so it’s time to pinball him around between all three challengers at once.

With JBL down, Undertaker gets stomped in the corner, much to the fans’ annoyance. Undertaker gets knocked to the floor so it’s JBL getting double teamed for a change. As usual though, Booker gets annoyed at Eddie for going for a cover, allowing JBL to grab his own near fall. Undertaker comes back in and starts wrecking things so everyone heads outside. JBL loads up the announcers’ table but Undertaker backdrops him before anything can happen. Undertaker stalks Eddie back inside for a match I could have gone for in a much longer form.

Another backdrop gives Undertaker two and it’s Booker taking Eddie’s place. The running big boot in the corner misses so JBL comes in to beat on Booker. Choking on the ropes has Eddie and Undertaker in trouble but Undertaker is up with a spinebuster to cut Booker off. Old School and the Downward Spiral give Undertaker two with Eddie making the save so Undertaker launches him over the top with some raw power.

There’s the apron legdrop but JBL runs Undertaker over on the floor. Back in and JBL chokes Booker with some tape as Eddie pulls out a rather unnecessary ladder. After that takes Undertaker out, JBL grabs the title but Booker starts cleaning house with kicks to the face and head. The ax kick gets two on Eddie and Booker’s NO WAY face is great. It’s back to the floor with JBL badly powerbombing Booker onto the announcers’ table and then elbowing him through it.

The Last Ride puts JBL through the other table, leaving Eddie to play dead in the ring. The chokeslam connects and it’s time for the Last Ride but Eddie gets in a belt shot to the head. A pair of frog splashes gets two and now it’s Eddie’s turn to be terrified. With wrestling not working, Eddie brings in the ladder for a mega frog splash but his own knee is banged up so it’s a delayed two with JBL pulling the referee out.

The ladder to the face puts Undertaker on the floor and Eddie sends a charging JBL into it for a bonus. Three Amigos keep JBL in trouble but this time it’s Booker making the save. Undertaker is back in with Snake Eyes and the big boot for two on Eddie with Booker breaking it up again. Chokeslams hit everyone but Undertaker…but Heidenreich runs in to break up the Tombstone on JBL. Heidenreich chokes Undertaker out on the floor as JBL covers Eddie and Booker for two each. The Clothesline From JBL finishes Booker to retain.

Rating: B. They were working out there and the match didn’t feel as long as it was, but the JBL title reign has lost its charm in a hurry. It’s becoming more and more clear that we’re not getting out of this anytime soon and seeing him get beaten up so often but escaping with the title is rather tiring. It’s the same thing we had to see from HHH for years and the Cabinet is no Evolution.

Cole: “This could be the beginning of a long title reign for JBL!” He’s been champion five and a half months!

Overall Rating: D. There are far worse shows but there was no hiding how unimportant this show was. We’re just waiting on the Rumble at this point because both brands are dying for some fresh blood. Unfortunately that means a long wait and stuff like Dawn vs. Jackie, the Tough Enough boxing match and that lame Bashams tag match to get through first. There is some good stuff on here, but it’s certainly not worth watching the rest of the show to get to it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2004
Date: November 14, 2004
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is an interesting show as the two big matches are a match where the impact comes over the next four weeks and another where there is little more than bragging rights on the line. The build for this show hasn’t been the strongest, though a lot of that is due to the changes taking place in the company. There are some fresh talents coming in and they’re still finding their footing, so it should be interesting to see where this show takes us. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look back at the show’s history, which means about five of the seventeen shows get a look. The video talks about trust and how only the strong will survive. Fair enough, though I’d have rather had more of the historical stuff.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Billy Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Spike Dudley

Spike is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. It’s a brawl to start with Rey taking a shot to the ribs and Chavo getting double teamed in the corner. Kidman doesn’t waste time in dropkicking Spike to the floor and here’s Spike to clothesline Kidman to the other side of the floor. That leave Rey to sunset flip Chavo for two and armdrag him outside. Spike replaces Chavo and stomps Rey down in the corner as Chavo comes back in.

A double clothesline puts Spike and Chavo down at the same time, leaving Rey to hurricanrana Kidman off the apron. Chavo picks Rey up and throws him into a seated senton Kidman, setting up a dive onto both of them. Spike’s dive just hits floor in a nasty crash but he’s fine enough to run back in and break up Chavo’s belly to back on Kidman. Rey gets whipped hard into the corner, leaving the other three to set up a Tower of Doom with Spike getting the worst.

Kidman was just the electric chair so he BK Bombs Rey but gets posted by Chavo. Spike’s running headbutt to the ribs puts Chavo down, only to have Rey come back with a 619 to the champ. Kidman breaks up the West Coast Pop and drops a slingshot legdrop on Chavo. Rey takes Kidman to the floor though, allowing Spike to pin Chavo to retain.

Rating: C+. Pretty good choice for an opener here with Rey and Chavo handling the dives and a Tower of Doom before it was a cliché. Spike retaining the title isn’t the most thrilling thing in the world but I think I could go for that over another Rey or Chavo reign. Kidman has already fallen off a lot and at the moment there isn’t another better option.

Gene Snitsky comes up to Heidenreich to compliment his poetry. Heidenreich likes what Snitsky does to babies. An uncomfortable amount of grunting ensues.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Shelton Benjamin

Christian, now with Just Close Your Eyes for theme music and with Tyson Tomko in his corner, is challenging. Shelton goes with a hammerlock to start and Christian bails to the ropes to avoid the wrestling on the mat. Back up and Shelton blasts him with a shoulder to show off some power for a change. Christian is already frustrated and slaps the champ in the face before sending him over the ropes.

The cat is skinned and Shelton hits a springboard Blockbuster (looked like it was supposed to be a clothesline but he rotated too far) for two. For some reason that wakes Christian up even more and he hammers away in the corner. Shelton sticks the landing on a monkey flip and threatens Christian to the floor with a superkick, leaving the announcers to discuss the origins of the Oklahoma roll. A Tomko distraction lets Christian kick him into the barricade and the angry Christian pounds away.

The neckbreaker gets two and we hit the chinlock to stay on Shelton’s neck. Shelton gets thrown outside with someone’s elbow pad flying onto the announcers’ table in the process. Back in and Christian’s reverse tornado DDT gets two but Shelton reverses a whip to send Christian chest first into the buckle. A Jackknife rollup gets two and a reverse slingshot suplex (not quite a fisherman’s JR) is good for the same on Christian.

Shelton misses the Stinger Splash though and it’s an inverted DDT to give Christian two of his own. With nothing else working, Tomko slides the title in and even though it hits the referee in the foot, he doesn’t actually notice. It doesn’t work for Christian, who gets the title tossed, only to have Tomko kick Shelton in the face for two. Back up and Christian tries the Unprettier, which is countered into a quick exploder to retain the title.

Rating: B. This is a good example of a difficulty of five but an execution of ten. They went with a simple story but did it so well that it was easy to get behind as you wanted to see the more athletic champion overcome the cheating and retain. It’s a story that you can get into in a single viewing and Shelton played his role very well. Good match and I could go for another one.

Kurt Angle doesn’t like how Edge portrayed him in his book. He did like the chapter on Edge winning the World Title….or at least he would have if there had been one. Edge laughs it off because his team will win tonight and he’ll get a title shot. Angle goes off for his match but Eugene comes in to list off Angle’s resume and sing YOU SUCK.

Wrestlemania Recall: STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD!

Team Angle vs. Team Guerrero

Kurt Angle, Carlito, Mark Jindrak, Luther Reigns

Eddie Guerrero, John Cena, Big Show, Rob Van Dam

Cena charges to the ring to chase Carlito off and beats Jesus up the aisle. Carlito keeps running and Cena shouts about Carlito sending his guys to stab him. With Jesus getting in a cheap shot, Carlito and Jesus jump into a car and run away. Everyone else gets in a fight on the floor and we get the opening bell, meaning Carlito is eliminated due to running away (in other words, he was injured).

We officially start with Show chopping Jindrak in the corner and handing it off to Van Dam for a spinning kick to the face. Rolling Thunder gives Eddie two and the headscissors/armdrag combination puts Jindrak and Reigns down. Angle comes in and punches Guerrero down before handing it back to Reigns for a backbreaker into a side slam. Jindrak’s full nelson is countered with a trip into the buckle but Kurt dives over to break up the hot tag attempt.

The chinlock goes on and switches into a front facelock before it’s back to Jindrak for more entry level offense. Actually hang on as he throws in a hip swivel in between the elbows. Eddie finally gets up and brings Rob in to punch Angle. Jindrak tries to save Angle from the Five Star but takes it instead, allowing Kurt to roll Rob up with the ropes for the elimination. Eddie is right back with a rollup in the ropes to get rid of Jindrak (with a fast count) to make it 3-2.

Big Show comes in to face Angle, who bails out so Reigns can do it instead. Reigns finally goes after the big bandage on the ankle, meaning it’s all of five extra seconds before the chokeslam can get rid of him. That leaves Angle by himself so he grabs the ankle lock, which is countered to send him into the aisle. Angle tries to leave but runs into Rob, who sends him backing up the aisle….and right into Show, with Angle reaching up and finding the very tall head to realize how much trouble he’s in. Back in and the FU into the frog splash is enough for the pin.

Rating: D. I was having flashbacks to the Hulkamaniacs vs. the Million Dollar Team from 1989 as the faces were never in serious trouble. There was almost no doubt after just a few minutes because Jindrak and Reigns were the lamest of goons against a bunch of top stars. They never did anything beyond stomps and slams and it wasn’t exactly believable that they could be a threat. There was no drama here and it showed badly.

Maven doesn’t like the suggestion that he doesn’t belong in the main event…and gets jumped by Snitsky. The beatdown is on and Maven is left bloody.

We recap Heidenreich vs. Undertaker. I’d go into the details here but Heidenreich is the definition of a monster for Undertaker to slay. There have been a lot of them over the years but Heidenreich is one of the lowest of the low. He tried to crush Undertaker with a car, which worked as well as you might have expected. Then he read poetry and seemed to sexually assault Michael Cole. Do I need to continue the explanation?

Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Undertaker punches him into the corner to start and the referee wisely bails out to the floor. There’s a big boot to put Heidenreich down and Undertaker sends the arm into the corner. Some pulls on the arm look to set up Old School but Heyman offers a distraction so Heidenreich can break it up with a low blow.

Undertaker gets crotched against the post, which Cole thinks may be a kink in his armor. They head outside with Undertaker taking over off the shots to the ribs and the elbows on the apron. The apron legdrop completes the standard sequence and now Old School can connect. A Downward Spiral has Heidenreich in more trouble but the running boot in the corner misses.

Undertaker gets knocked off the apron so Heidenreich can hammer away against the barricade for two back inside. The chinlock goes on for a bit until a clothesline gives Heidenreich two more. Undertaker gets in a suplex and it’s time for the slugout. The clothesline takes Heidenreich down and it’s Snake Eyes into the big boot.

Right hands get Heidenreich out of the chokeslam and a Boss Man Slam gives him two. The punches in the corner are countered into a weak Last Ride with Heidenreich grabbing the rope for the break. Undertaker slams his way out of a sleeper in a hurry and now the chokeslam connects. The Tombstone finally finishes Heidenreich off.

Rating: D. This was far worse than bad as it was really, really boring. Heidenreich had nothing that felt like a threat to Undertaker and the match itself was much longer than it needed to be at about sixteen minutes. The villains continue to be weak on Smackdown with Undertaker dispatching this goon without much serious trouble, as he should have done.

Eric Bischoff says Maven may not be wrestling tonight and since there is so little time left, Bischoff won’t be naming a replacement. His vacation is too valuable to listen to HHH’s complaints about a replacement.

We recap Trish Stratus vs. Lita. Trish mocked Lita for getting pregnant by Kane and referred to her as the Kiss of Death for destroying so many careers over the years. Lita lost the baby thanks to Snitsky but Trish wouldn’t shut up, with some of the best heel promos the women’s division has ever seen. Lita wants to kill her and if she wins the title as well, so be it.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Trish is defending and starts by hiding in the corner. That’s fine with Lita who slugs away and heads outside where a chair shots DQ’s Lita at just over a minute.

Post match Lita stays on her as Trish’s nose is busted.

Theodore Long comes in to see Team Guerrero and asks if he can talk to Cena alone. Show takes off his towel and Cena is a little disturbed. Long has some good news for him: Cena gets his US Title shot this week on Smackdown.

We recap JBL vs. Booker T. Booker earned the title shot by winning a title shot and the rest of the feud has been built around JBL’s lackey Orlando Jordan vs. interviewer Josh Matthews, because this feud doesn’t have the strongest legs.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Booker T.

JBL is defending and will leave Smackdown if he loses. Feeling out process to start with JBL shouting that this isn’t WCW. Some right hands have JBL in trouble so he hits Booker in the back of the head to take over. Booker’s clothesline doesn’t do him much good as a swinging neckbreaker gives the champ two. A much better clothesline sends JBL outside, though he’s fine enough to poke Booker in the eye.

They fight over the announcers’ table and it’s Jordan getting a cheap shot in from behind. We hit the cobra clutch on Booker, followed by some elbow drops for two. And now, just to mix it up a bit, we hit the chinlock. With that broken up, JBL heads up top and gets superplexed right back down. They head outside with a Book End dropping JBL again though Jordan keeps it on the floor.

JBL and Jordan both get taken out and it’s Booker’s missile dropkick for tow back inside. The Houston Hangover misses but Booker is right back with more kicks to the face. Another Jordan distraction lets JBL get two off a DDT….and the ref gets bumped. It’s Jordan coming in again and this time bringing in a chair. Cue Josh Matthews to take the chair away but JBL kicks him in the face. Booker gets in his own kicks but the second referee takes his time diving in for two, allowing Jordan to make the save. The Book End hits Jordan but JBL hits Booker with the title to retain.

Rating: D. Back to back overly long matches from the blue show with JBL and Jordan being as dull of a combination as you can get. The JBL title reign has lost what little charm it had thanks to the Jordan addition, as the guy isn’t adding anything and was the focal point of this feud, despite being that bad. Booker was trying but he needs something better than this reheated HHH/Ric Flair formula.

Evolution has a pep talk before the main event. HHH leaves and Batista talks about wanting to have his night running Raw. The seeds are being planted.

We recap the Raw elimination tag. Bischoff is tired of being in charge so he’s taking a month off. Therefore, the winning team gets to run Raw a week at a time for a month. They have all made it clear that if they win, they’re coming for the World Title, which is about as logical as you can get. The problem though is there’s little reason to watch this show because it’s all about the next four weeks.

Team HHH vs. Team Orton

HHH, Batista, Gene Snitsky, Edge

Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit, Maven

There’s no Maven to start and Ric Flair is at ringside to make it 5-3. Benoit gets aggressive with Edge in the corner to start and elbows him in the face to take over. That’s enough to bring in Snitsky and Orton, which is quite the strange looking showdown. Their slugout doesn’t last long and it’s off to Jericho vs. HHH to keep up the alternating matchups. Orton is right back in to hammer on HHH with Flair panicking about HHH taking such a beating.

The jumping knee to the face gets HHH out of trouble and it’s Batista hitting his powerslam for two. Edge comes in and gets sent into the corner, allowing the quick tag to Benoit, who beats up everyone in short order. The rolling German suplexes have HHH in trouble and Benoit suplexes Edge onto him. A double Swan Dive gets two with Snitsky having to make a save.

The Sharpshooter has HHH In trouble but Snitsky makes another save. That’s enough for HHH to hit a quick Pedigree so Edge can pin Benoit for the first elimination. Jericho comes in next and gets taken down by a neckbreaker but HHH and Snitsky gets in a shouting match. HHH gets shoved down so Batista comes in to go nose to nose with Snitsky. Batista realizes what’s going on and breaks up the Walls on HHH.

Flair gets caught breaking up the Walls again and that means an ejection. With the referee taking care of Flair, Batista blasts Jericho and Orton with a double clothesline. Orton breaks up the big clothesline to Jericho with a belt shot and it’s a running enziguri to eliminate Batista. That’s not it for Batista to leave in peace though so he blasts Jericho with the big clothesline and then heads out. Snitsky comes in for stomping and choking instead of covering because he’s new at this. It’s off to Edge, who gets taken down with a sleeper drop but Snitsky breaks up the hot tag attempt. Everything breaks down again but here’s a bandaged up Maven to come in and go after Snitsky.

Maven’s middle rope bulldog takes HHH down but Snitsky caves his head in with a chair shot that would get him tossed out of the building today. Here it’s just a DQ, though HHH pins Maven with no trouble a second later. We’re down to HHH/Edge vs. Orton/Jericho with Jericho slipping out of the Pedigree but getting speared down for two. HHH and Edge smile down at Orton, who says bring it on.

The double stomping is on with Edge stomping away and handing it off to HHH, with JR losing his mind that Edge won’t get out of the ring. HHH’s DDT gets two and he argues with the referee, allowing Orton to roll him up for two. Edge comes in and accidentally spears HHH to give Orton the easy pin. We’re down to HHH vs. Orton with the former starting fast with a low blow. Orton gets up again and counters the Pedigree into the RKO for the pin. The Orton vs. HHH part was barely a minute and a half long.

Rating: B-. Perfectly watchable match here with Snitsky still being protected and Maven still being Maven. Other than that they’ve done a good job of making Orton look like a threat to the title, but the two Canadians are just kind of there with little reason to believe that they’re going to be a threat t o the title. That leaves us waiting until probably the Royal Rumble for a new challenger, meaning it’s time for winter vacation without missing any time from the show.

Orton poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a really weird one as it contains a lot of perfectly watchable to good wrestling, but absolutely nothing that changes anything long term. The main event stipulation lasts a grand total of four episodes of Monday Night Raw, and while that might change something, there’s no guarantee that any of this could actually matter. The Smackdown stuff was even less important with the two main matches being long and dull, leaving us with no one to challenge JBL at the moment.

Overall, the show is a rather quick sit (only a little over two and a half hours) with nothing too bad (boring, but not terrible). It could have been worse, but the biggest problem is how nothing actually matters in the end. Like I said, they’re in a big transitional period right now and while they probably have long term goals in mind, this is a rather hard stretch to get through because the villains feel like placeholders, which is the case with most of the stories at the moment. It can get better, but we have some long stretches to get through first.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: November 11, 2004
Location: American Bank Arena, Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Tazz, Michael Cole

It’s the go home show for Survivor Series and hopefully this show is a little more inspiring than Monday’s efforts. Survivor Series isn’t looking like the most thrilling show in the world but under the right circumstances, Smackdown’s half could be a little bit better. Hopefully this week features a little less Tough Enough, but I don’t think we’ll be that lucky. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

As promised last week, we open with the Tough Enough guys waiting for the Torrie Wilson Sex Test. Two women from the Tonight Show are here to call the action, but first Al Snow needs to give Chris Nawrocki a chance to quit due to having a broken rib. He says no so it’s time to announce the first cut: Nick Mitchell, who was dressed as a cowboy for the Sex Test, complete with the pockets cut out of the back of his jeans with nothing underneath.

With that out of the way, here’s Torrie with a riding crop. Mizanin, in a Santa hat and Santa boxer shorts, holds the ropes open for her. Each one of them has fifteen seconds to make out with a WWE Diva, who will then pick the winner for a very special surprise. Torrie brings out Dawn Marie (in very little clothing) as I hope people aren’t falling for this so far. And yeah, Torrie brings out Mae Young for the least surprising surprise ever.

Puder goes first and gets pulled down as the Tonight Show women offer absolutely nothing. Mae jumps into Justice’s arms and gets spanked, sending Tazz into hysterics. Rodimer wants a peck and gets taken down to the mat. Reeves gets the same but winds up on top of Mae.

Mizanin has condoms and gets on the mat as well, where he spanks Mae a bit. She chokes him for an image I never needed to see. Nawrocki goes last and lays down slowly with Mae kind of laying on him. Puder wins and gets a lap dance from Mae. In case you didn’t get the joke clearly enough earlier. This took over fifteen minutes for the same Mae Young joke over and over and over.

Chavo Guerrero yells at his old friend when Rey Mysterio comes in. It’s nothing to worry about.

Spike Dudley/Billy Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero/Rey Mysterio

Kidman offers an early distraction so Spike can jump Chavo to start. That doesn’t go well for Spike as it’s already off to Rey for the quick legdrop. Spike sends him into the corner though and it’s off to Kidman for the first time. The top rope hurricanrana takes Kidman down and Chavo comes in for the long awaited revenge.

Spike cuts him off though and the heels take over on Chavo this time. A whip into the barricade sets up a chinlock with a knee in Chavo’s back as the pace slows. Back up and Kidman clotheslines Spike by mistake, allowing Chavo to suplex Kidman onto him. The hot tag brings in Rey and it’s a springboard seated senton to Chavo. The basement dropkick hits Spike as everything breaks down. Chavo dives onto Kidman and it’s the springboard splash to give Rey the pin on Spike.

Rating: C. Pretty run of the mill match here as it’s all but guaranteed that Mysterio isn’t winning the title on Sunday. Spike isn’t exactly inspiring as champion but it’s not like there are any other fresh options at the moment. We’ve seen Rey and Chavo with the title so many times now and it’s becoming more and more clear that this division doesn’t offer much at all.

Orlando Jordan comes up to Josh Matthews to offer an apology. Josh looks scared as Jordan talks about not taking him seriously, even though Josh was a Tough Enough finalist. Jordan has to make him shake his hand and slaps Josh for the lack of respect. My goodness we’re still going with this?

Post break Booker T. brings the bloody Josh to Theodore Long’s office where Josh says he wants Jordan tonight. Oh and he wants Booker in his corner too. The match is made.

Team Guerrero is ready for their matches tonight, even though Eddie doesn’t have a fourth member yet. Eddie looks a little nervous but he’s fine in Texas.

Raw Rebound.

Orlando Jordan vs. Josh Matthews

Cole: “I can’t believe this is happening.” Preach it brother. Jordan is as cocky as he should be and puts an attacking Josh on top without much effort. A high crossbody is blocked as well so Josh scores with a dropkick to the back for some more luck. Some rollups get two each and it’s time to head outside for the four way staredown.

Back in and JBL trips Josh as the referee yells at Booker, sending Cole completely over the edge. The chinlock doesn’t last long but we stop so Booker can superkick JBL. Now the high crossbody gives Josh two as JBL gets up on the apron. That’s enough of a distraction so Josh can hit Jordan low, setting up Booker’s ax kick for the pin.

Rating: D-. What is this supposed to accomplish? Booker is costing JBL’s loser lackey matches to a commentator. How does that make me want to see the title match any more? The match was terrible because Jordan is awful and Josh isn’t a wrestler. What were they expecting from this one? At least it wasn’t all that long.

Mark Jindrak/Luther Reigns vs. Eddie Guerrero/Rob Van Dam

Hold on though as here are Carlito and Jesus to do commentary. Jindrak kicks Van Dam in the corner to start and the split legged moonsault misses. It’s off to Reigns for stomps in the same corner and this one goes a little better for Rob, with a few kicks putting Reigns down for a change. Eddie comes in with the slingshot hilo to take over but a Jindrak distraction breaks up the Three Amigos.

Back from a break so abrupt that Cole can’t finish his “this match will continue” with Carlito having spat apple on him. Eddie fights out of a chinlock and nails a flapjack but stops to yell at Carlito. Reigns uses the distraction to jump Van Dam and the villains take over again. The chinlock goes on before Jindrak and Reigns take turns stomping.

Rob slips out of a powerslam and brings in Eddie for the headscissors to Jindrak. Everything breaks down and Eddie hits Three Amigos on Reigns as Rolling Thunder hits Jindrak. Carlito gets dropkicked off the apron but Rob misses a dive. With the referee distracted, Eddie hits the apron with a chair and throws it to Jesus so Carlito and Jesus are gone. Back in and stereo frog splashes give Eddie and Rob the pin.

Rating: C. This was fine and played up the idea that Team Eddie is in a bit of trouble due to being down a member. Then again, is it really any secret about who the last member is going to be? And are Jindrak and Reigns combined equal to any member of Team Eddie? This is a pretty one sided match on paper and watching Eddie and Rob vs. two goons wasn’t the most inspiring build.

Post match Eddie announces the pretty obvious: John Cena is the fourth member of the team.

Post break Carlito yells at Long about what happened but Theodore doesn’t want to hear it because Jesus was in the same club that night. Cena is going to be in the ring at Survivor Series and Carlito has to get over it.

Recap of the Tough Enough shenanigans earlier tonight.

How to vote for the Tough Enough guys.

JBL rants about getting out of Texas because he wanted a better life. The only reason Booker T. was the WCW World Champion was because JBL wasn’t in WCW. JBL isn’t losing and if by some miracle he does, he’s out of WWE. He lists off everything that he’s gone through as champion and isn’t losing on Sunday. Instead, he’ll be putting Booker through more than Booker ever thought possible because that’s what JBL does. Having JBL do the big promo for the title match probably isn’t the right idea.

We look back at Heidenreich attacking Jackie Gayda and Charlie Haas last week.

Here’s Paul Heyman to yell at Michael Cole, calling him a JR wannabe. Tazz is tired of this and takes the glasses off as Heidenreich is in the ring. There go the lights though and it’s Undertaker staring Heidenreich down…until Heyman breaks it up. Undertaker looks bored staring at Heidenreich and it’s not like you can blame him.

Survivor Series rundown.

Big Show vs. Kurt Angle

Team Angle is out with Kurt, who says that Team Eddie has no chance because no one ca beat him. Team Eddie comes out to even things up and we take a break. Back with Angle not wanting to get in the ring until Jindrak offers a distraction. The cheap shot from behind doesn’t work so Show blasts Angle in the chest with the chops.

Another distraction also fails, with Angle going back first into the post. Back in and Angle gets in a shot to the knee to set up a choke but everyone gets in a brawl on the floor. Team Angle gets the better of it as the ankle lock goes on. Show breaks it up and grabs the chokeslam, drawing in Jindrak and Reigns for the DQ.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing, though it was nice of them to not wait around very long before the big brawl between everyone on the floor. You know that’s where they’re going so why bother with anything more than they had to? Show vs. Angle is fine enough for something like this and Show continues to look good since his return.

Post match Angle goes for the ankle again and might have broken it to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I don’t know if it’s the lack of Maven or the lack of a not very interesting stipulation, but the Smackdown Survivor Series match is a lot more interesting than the Raw version. Yeah it’s pretty one sided on paper, but at least they’re having a more interesting build.

The rest of the show wasn’t all that great and the JBL vs. Booker feud is more about Josh Matthews and Orlando Jordan than the World Title, but I want to see this half of Sunday’s show a lot more than the Raw half. Probably because what is being built up here is actually being blown off on Sunday instead of over the next month. Not a good show, but I want to see part of Survivor Series more than I did before, so points for that at least.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

GAH!

If there is any hope for this show, this match will be about two minutes long and be a complete squash with Angle winning and getting to have a proper sendoff. There’s no need for this match to keep going because there is no reason to have Corbin anywhere near a ring for a long time at the moment. Or for Angle to ever wrestle again for that matter.

This is the biggest layup on the show as Angle isn’t going to retire after losing a match to a goon like Corbin. This really should have been anyone else but if this is the best we can get, so be it (I guess). Angle wins with the ankle lock to go out as a winner and is thankfully allowed to heal his broken and mangled body. And Corbin can go tend sheep or something.

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: November 4, 2004
Location: Savvis Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re coming up on Survivor Series and after last week, we know most of what we have for most of the pay per view. The problem is that means we know what’s coming and that’s not the most appealing thing in the world. Last week’s show wasn’t the most interesting in the world with a long Orlando Jordan match making it even worse. Hopefully that’s not the case this week so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at the Tough Enough guys having to work out a lot today, then eat pasta and drink milk before working out again. After two hours of training, it’s time to go to the ring for the opening of the show.

The Tough Enough finalists are in the ring and Al Snow brings out Kurt Angle as a special guest. Angle yells at all of them and threatens most of them, mainly telling them to shut up, though Mizanin does get an MTV SUCKS. Justice has nothing to say and starts smiling, which doesn’t sit well with Angle. He brings up last week’s issues with Big Show, which didn’t impress him.

Angle shot Big Show with a tranquilizer and shaved his head because that’s tough. This is Angle’s ring and in Angle’s ring, you’re the St. Louis Cardinals and he’s the Boston Red Sox (recent World Series matchup with the Red Sox sweeping the Cardinals). Yeah they have a chance to win a million dollars and for that he hates them because he didn’t earn it. Angle has them back up and demonstrates six squat thrusts.

Tonight we’re having a competition with the winner being the person who can do the most squat thrusts. They all mess up the first one and as the competition goes on, here’s a two minute recap of last week’s segment with Big Show. Back with referee Charles Robinson helping to judge and they pick up the pace as Justice is the first eliminated after nearly four minutes of exercising. More eliminations get us down to Puder and Nawrocki with Puder being eliminated seconds later. Nawrocki’s reward: a match with Angle right now. Total time spent watching seven wrestling hopefuls do exercises: five minutes.

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Nawrocki

Angle wrestles him down for a pin in 29 seconds, breaking Chris’ ribs in the process.

We’re still not done yet as Puder volunteers to face Angle as well.

Kurt Angle vs. Daniel Puder

Angle takes him down into a front facelock and we get a LOUD UFC chant. They grapple against the ropes and Puder gets a keylock but Angle gets on top of him for a pin, despite the shoulder pretty clearly being up.

From what I (a casual UFC fan at best) can tell, Puder would have snapped his arm as the hold was in full and Robinson was smart enough to count the pin before Angle had his arm broken or had to tap out. It’s not surprising as Puder has experience in this kind of fighting, though I do wonder how hard Angle was actually going against him.

Still though, Puder had a chance and went for it so good for him. I mean, not the best idea in the world for your long term career, but if you’re told it’s a real fight and you have that kind of training, this could happen. He caught Angle off guard, showing why this was a pretty bad idea from WWE’s side of things.

Post match Angle talks trash to Puder and tells him to stay off his back in a wrestling contest. Angle declares none of them tough enough and wants them out of his face.

We look back at Booker T. beating Orlando Jordan last week to earn a shot at JBL at Survivor Series.

JBL slaps Josh Matthews in the face for asking about Jordan losing. Jordan threatens him too and Josh stands up for himself, saying he’s tired of taking this kind of abuse. Josh says Jordan needs to have his head in the game rather than stuck inside JBL.

Booker T. vs. Orlando Jordan

Twenty minutes of Tough Enough, a Josh Matthews promo and now an Orlando Jordan match??? Is WWE mad at the fans for some reason? Booker strikes away in the corner to start and slaps on an armbar. The forearm cuts off Jordan’s offense and it’s right back to the armbar. A superkick drops Jordan again and there’s a spinebuster, drawing in JBL for the DQ.

Post match it’s the Clothesline From JBL to knock Booker out.

Spike Dudley tells Bubba Ray and D-Von to get rid of Big Show tonight so they can be on Team Angle at Survivor Series. Spike even has a plan: go to the ring and call out Big Show. Tables are encouraged. I’m still trying to figure out why Spike is in this role.

Josh Matthews comes in to see Theodore Long and is told to be professional. Booker barges in and wants JBL and Jordan tonight. That’s fine with Long, who gives him Josh as a partner. E pluribus gads what in the world is this show supposed to be? Is Josh some advertisement for Tough Enough? Is that the best thing they can do on a show like this?

The Dudleys are in the ring with Spike standing on a table and demanding Big Show come out here RIGHT NOW. Show comes out and gets distracted by Spike so a low blow can set up a 3D. Another table is brought in and Show chokeslams both of them through, leaving Spike to run while talking trash at the same time. I’m glad we established that the Big Show is in fact tough.

Post break Luther Reigns and Mark Jindrak ask Angle who he can get as a fourth man. Angle says he has that covered and walks over to Carlito and Jesus to ask if Carlito wants in. Carlito swallows the apple and shakes Kurt’s hand.

Raw Rebound. We’re about forty five minutes into this show and, counting the Tough Enough matches, we’ve had about three and a half minutes of wrestling.

Rey Mysterio comes up to Rob Van Dam and speaks Spanish. Rob: “Little Timmy is stuck in the well???” They’re ready for their tag match.

Rob Van Dam/Rey Mysterio vs. Mark Jindrak/Luther Reigns

Rey and Jindrak start things off with Mark not exactly looking impressed. The Rick Rude hip swivel takes too long and Rey pounds away on the ribs, setting up a headscissors into the corner. Van Dam comes in for the split legged moonsault but Jindrak drives him into the corner for the tag off to Reigns. A kick to the face doesn’t do much to slow him down so it’s a belly to back suplex into a chinlock to slow Van Dam down.

Another kick to the face works better for Rob so it’s back to Rey for the springboard seated senton. Jindrak breaks up the 619 though and we take a break. Back with Rey fighting out of a chinlock but getting caught in a half nelson driver. Jindrak sends him hard into the corner and let’s hit the uninterrupted hip swivel here. We also hit the chinlock as this isn’t exactly thrilling stuff.

The villains nearly miss a double shoulder so Reigns goes with the more accurate stomping to the back. That’s enough action though and it’s back to Jindrak for a double arm crank. The bearhug goes on, which is exactly the move you knew was coming. Rey finally grabs a tornado DDT to plant Reigns and it’s back to Van Dam as a few of the things break down. Rey backdrops Van Dam into a moonsault with Reigns having to make the save. The 619 knocks Jindrak into the Five Star for the pin.

Rating: D. I know I wanted more wrestling but I was hoping for something a little less sluggish than this one. Jindrak and Reigns are as lame of a pair of lackeys as you’re going to get and this was as much of a showcase of their shortcomings as you were going to find. Really dull match here and the last thing this show needed.

Post match Carlito and Jesus come out to throw Van Dam and Mysterio inside for the big beatdown. Eddie Guerrero makes the save with a chair.

Survivor Series rundown.

We look back at Undertaker signing to face Heidenreich and threatening Paul Heyman last week.

Eddie comes in to see Long and is told that Mysterio will be off the team. Mysterio will now be in a four way for the Cruiserweight Title with Spike Dudley, Chavo Guerrero and Billy Kidman. Therefore, Eddie needs to find a replacement and he has until next week. Long: “Comprende playa?”

We recap Jackie attacking Dawn Marie last week for suggesting that Dawn is having an affair with Charlie Haas.

And now: ARM WRESTLING! Dawn comes out first and dedicates her victory to Charlie Haas. They’re both in barely there clothes and Cole gets in the most interesting thing about this whole deal: these two have the same birthday. Dawn actually doesn’t waste time and just headbutts Jackie to start the catfight.

Haas comes in on crutches but here’s Heidenreich to beat him up. Jackie’s save attempt goes as well as you would expect as Heyman comes out saying that Heidenreich is going to get fired. Heyman keeps telling Heidenreich that it’s not Undertaker but Heidenreich gives Haas a shoulder breaker and the Undertaker folded arms pose.

Here are Snow and the Tough Enough guys again so here’s a recap of their evening so far. All of the contestants are presented for your voting consideration. Before they’re done, here’s Torrie Wilson to say they’ll be put to the ultimate test next week. At the start of next week’s show, they’ll be taking the Torrie Wilson Sex Test. They better be up to the challenge. Torrie looks at all of them to wrap this up.

Video on Big Show vs. Kurt Angle before their match next week.

Booker T./Josh Matthews vs. Orlando Jordan/John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL and Jordan get a jobbers’ entrance. Thankfully Booker and JBL start things off (yes JBL really is one of the two best options in this one) with Booker hammering away up against the ropes. A few shots in the corner have JBL in trouble but a shoulder drops Booker in short order. Jordan comes in and gets kicked in the face, drawing JBL for a failed save attempt as he elbows Jordan by mistake (or maybe because getting rid of Jordan improves his chances).

A superkick sends JBL outside and it’s off to Josh, who hits a rather nice high crossbody to Jordan. There’s a dropkick to knock JBL off the apron and it’s back to Booker but JBL gets in a forearm to knock Booker into Josh for a tag. Booker goes into the steps to make it even worse so Josh jumps on JBL’s back and ruffles his hair a bit. Jordan comes in and throws Josh around as the shirt comes off. The slow beating continues until Booker finally gets up and kicks Jordan in the head, allowing Josh to make the tag. Booker cleans house, hits a Book End on each, and pins Jordan.

Rating: D. You have to give this one a bit of a break as it’s a match involving someone whose training ended with Tough Enough. I get that it’s some way of advertising Tough Enough and showing that the show means something, but it’s a bad sign that Josh’s stuff looked equal to if not better than Maven’s from Raw. Booker winning was fine and they kept it short, but it’s still not a great idea.

Josh is out cold to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. This was a different kind of terrible as it wasn’t a show where it felt like no one was trying. Instead, this felt like a show where their best ideas and a good enough effort just didn’t work. The biggest problem is of course Tough Enough, which took up nearly a third of the whole show. I get that WWE has gone reality show crazy but it doesn’t work as this big of a part of the weekly TV show. You can only get so much out a segment like that as these people are just names with little more than their looks to distinguish themselves. It’s still miles ahead of the Diva Search, but the extra time brings it back down.

Then there’s everything else and EGADS it’s not getting any better. The rest of the show featured a story including a backstage announcer, an arm wrestling segment, Spike Dudley and a very long, dull tag match. And now I’m supposed to want to watch the best of this show on pay per view? Like I said they were trying out there but it’s such bad material with almost no one interesting (Booker is very good, but he’s not exactly exciting in the role) around. It really goes to show you how valuable Cena is to this show, but they could use a name or two from Raw to breathe some life into the show because this was a complete failure.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 1, 2019
Location: Capital One Arena, Washington DC
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young

It’s the go home show for Wrestlemania and the big story is….Stephanie McMahon, who will be making some kind of major announcement about the upcoming main event. There’s a good chance that it’s going to be the addition of a winner take all stipulation, but you never can tell around here. Other than that, Brock Lesnar and Batista will be around to actually promote their matches. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s Stephanie McMahon to open things up. She’s adding herself to the match but cuts off the booing by saying it’s an April Fool’s joke. There really is breaking news though: whoever wins the main event of Wrestlemania leaves with both titles because it’s Winner Take All.

With that out of the way in record time, here are Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman for a chat. Heyman does his introduction (Heyman: “Don’t worry I’ll be doing this again next week too.”) before talking about how appropriate the Winner Takes All stipulation is because it’s the same thing for Lesnar. Brock is going to win and take it all, including Seth Rollins’ best shot. Lesnar took the Undertaker’s Streak and then last year he took the hopes and dreams from Roman Reigns when EVERYONE knew that Reigns was going to win.

This Sunday is for the fans who watch hockey for the fights, the fans who watch NASCAR for the crashes and the fans who watch soccer for the riots. On Sunday, Lesnar will have his foot on Rollins’ chest and then the two of them will go out to dinner to discuss Lesnar’s future. This brings out Rollins, who says Sunday is the biggest match for both of their careers because everyone from the fans to the locker room is sick of Brock.

Yeah Lesnar has made a fortune because he’s such an athletic freak and the most decorated athlete in combat sports history (not really) but Rollins could win. Lesnar goes to leave but Rollins kicks him low. That earns him a release German suplex but Rollins goes low again and hits the Stomp to leave Lesnar laying. I love that the only way to really hurt Lesnar is a low blow and no one really tries to do anything else.

Post break Rollins is in the back and doesn’t seem to care that he would get disqualified for what he did. Rollins: “Eh he had it coming.” Rollins isn’t a champion anyway. Yet.

IIconics/Nia Jax/Tamina vs. Beth Phoenix/Natalya/Boss N Hug Connection

The Brand Split takes another hit. Peyton starts for the villains and Sasha tags herself in so Beth can’t start. Banks trips on the bottom rope but is fine enough for a double elbow to give Bayley two on Royce. It’s off to Kay vs. Natalya with a suplex giving Natalya two. Beth comes in and pulls Kay by the hair to prevent the tag. Everything breaks down and the villains are sent outside as the good ones argue as we take a break.

Back with Bayley in trouble as the IIconics use a bit of a numbers advantage to take over. Nia and Tamina drop to the floor instead of taking the tag and Bayley gets over to the corner. Not to be outdone, Beth shoves Banks away and tags herself in so house can be cleaned. Everything breaks down again and Beth spears Tamina through the barricade. Things settle down to Beth slapping Peyton and getting Glam Slammed for the pin at 11:27.

Rating: C-. Beth looked good but is that really a surprise? She’s only 38 and was a talented performer in her time. That being said, this is going to be another match with way too much going on and no one having the chance to shine. They would have been better off leaving it as a triple threat or sending Nia and Tamina off to look for icebergs in the tropics to make it two on two. The spear through the barricade was cool, but not cool enough to make me care about the legends (Natalya is a legend?) and Samoans in the match.

Here’s hometown boy Batista to address HHH. He gets the spotlight treatment and a WELCOME BACK chant before pointing to the screen without saying a word. It’s a video on HHH vs. Batista, with HHH losing every single time and not knowing how to handle him. Back in the arena, Batista takes off his sunglasses, tells HHH to “kiss his a**”, puts his sunglasses back on, and leaves.

Elias is in front of MetLife Stadium, getting ready for the performance of his lifetime. He can hear the OH WALK WITH ELIAS chants from here but he’d rather have the fans shut their mouths. After Sunday, no one is going to be thinking of Lynch or Charlotte or Elias because it’s all about walking with Elias.

Apollo Crews vs. Jinder Mahal

Most of the people announced for the Andre the Giant Battle Royal is around the ring. Mahal takes him down into a chinlock less than thirty seconds in but Crews fights up with a dropkick into a nipup. The frog splash finishes Mahal at 1:36. This was a “hey we’re on the show too” moment.

Post match everyone wants to pose with the trophy and the fight begins. Titus O’Neil clears the ring but Mahal and the Singh Brothers throw him out. Crews tosses all three of them without much trouble, guaranteeing that he won’t win on Sunday.

Here’s Kurt Angle to say farewell to Raw. Angle is grateful for everything from the fans and from the bottom of his heart, he wants to say thank you. We get a video tribute to Angle, including his training for the Olympics and comments from legends before we even get into his WWE career. Thankfully we also get a look at his comedic antics, which were such an important part of his career. Then he hurt his neck again and had to leave, but he managed to make it back for the Hall of Fame induction. Excellent tribute, showing how incredible Angle really was when he was healthy.

Back in the arena and Angle is holding back tears as Baron Corbin comes out to interrupt. As the energy is sucked out of the arena, Corbin talks about how the video should have been in black and white because the man in the video isn’t the same as the man in the ring. Angle can’t hang with the stars of today, especially him. Corbin is tired of the fans complaining about him being Angle’s last opponent because nothing is changing.

That’s enough for Kurt, who offers Corbin an exhibition right now. Corbin goes to the apron but backs off saying that’s intensity without intelligence. He’ll just wait until Wrestlemania. This brings out Rey Mysterio (scheduled to face Angle tonight) to say he’ll face Corbin tonight instead. That’s not happening either, so Angle and Mysterio beat Corbin up.

Charlotte says she blindsided Asuka last week and she’ll do it again on Sunday. They had to change the match because she changed the game. Again.

Tag Team Titles: Revival vs. Ricochet/Aleister Black

Ricochet and Black are challenging and Revival gets a jobbers’ entrance. Black takes Dawson into the corner to start but a snapmare gets Dawson out of trouble. A legsweep takes Dawson down and it’s off to Ricochet, who gets taken into the champs’ corner. It doesn’t bother Ricochet, who hurricanranas both of them at once with Wilder falling to the floor.

That leaves Dawson to take some knees to the face, with Wilder being hiptossed onto his partner for two. Dawson gets in a shot to the arm though and Black is sent outside as we take a break. Back with Dawson working on Black’s arm, even bending his fingers back for the bonus pain. Another legsweep gets Black out of trouble again but Wilder dives over to prevent the tag. The tag goes through a few seconds later and it’s Ricochet picking up the pace and cleaning house.

A victory roll gets two on Wilder but Dawson gets in a cheap shot from the floor to knock Ricochet into a Gory Bomb for another near fall. Black starts in with the strikes on the floor but gets taken down with a tornado DDT on the floor. That’s fine with Ricochet, who hits a crazy running flip dive over the corner. Ricochet tries to get back in but Dawson grabs his foot, meaning it’s a countout to retain the titles at 11:49.

Rating: C+. What does it say that WWE has turned me, a Revival fan, into someone who is wanting to see them lose the titles so they don’t have to be treated like garbage most of the time? I’m hoping we see the titles change hands soon, perhaps on next week’s show, but not at Wrestlemania because egads why would they belong on the show when they’ve been so wasted as of late?

Post match Black and Ricochet beat up the champs again. You can’t let them look strong you see.

Ronda Rousey is ready to fight and will destroy the Riott Squad by herself tonight.

We recap Braun Strowman’s issues with the SNL guys.

Tyler Breeze is talking to Alexa Bliss in the back as EC3 stands next to them and doesn’t seem impressed. Bliss takes credit for all of Wrestlemania’s success as EC3 cracks up and talks (I believe for the first time) about how funny Weekend Update was. Strowman comes in and asks what’s so funny. EC3 and Breeze point out two guys watching SNL on a tablet. Strowman doesn’t care what their names are because he’s calling them Michael Che and Colin Jost. Tonight, they’ll get these hands.

Roman Reigns doesn’t like rumors about not being ready for singles competition. He’ll put those rumors to….I have no idea actually as Drew McIntyre jumps him from behind and throws him into some crates.

Riott Squad vs. Ronda Rousey/Charlotte/Becky Lynch

Whoever betrays their partners first is out of Sunday’s main event. Before her entrance, Becky says she doesn’t want to hear from the loudmouth Charlotte or from Rousey with her God complex. Ronda and Charlotte talk about wanting to make history but Becky has to. Charlotte and Ruby start things off but Becky tags herself in and mocks the strut.

She even begs Charlotte to slap her in the face before sending Ruby outside as we take an early break. Back with Becky having to fight out of Logan’s standing Texas Cloverleaf and suplexing Morgan for two. Charlotte tags herself in and argues with Becky but Ronda tags herself in as well to yell at Charlotte as well. The armbar makes Morgan tap at 7:20.

Rating: D+. Angle advancement here as it should be as the Riott Squad loses AGAIN because that’s the only reason they exist. The women’s division needs to figure out how to use jobbers again because they don’t have the roster depth to make something like this work. It’s not like this means anything anyway, but how many times can the Squad lose before it loses all meaning?

Post match the fight is on until security breaks it up. That goes nowhere so here are the cops, with Ronda hitting one of them. That’s enough for an arrest but Becky attacks the cuffed Rousey. Becky is arrested as well so Charlotte goes after Becky and the Wrestlemania main event is all in handcuffs. They all kick at the cops’ legs as I have no idea what this is supposed to accomplish.

They’re all taken to police cars with Ronda and Becky in the same one so another fight breaks out with the window being kicked out. Charlotte gets in one more knee to Ronda’s head before the car is taken away. This was intense, but seeing the three of them in handcuffs and fighting each other felt like a rejected scene from a bad B movie rather than an effective wrestling angle. Just go with the classic locker room holding them back instead of going so far over the top with it.

Heavy Machinery vs. Chad Gable/Bobby Roode

Machinery starts fast with the double knees to Gable’s head so it’s off to Roode…and here’s Lacey Evans to interrupt. With Evans out of the way, the Caterpillar gets two on Roode as Gable makes a save. The Compactor finishes Gable at 3:02, though with so much time being spent on Lacey’s entrance, I’m not bothering to rate it. It’s not like there was anything to it anyway.

Video on Kofi Kingston becoming #1 contender.

Braun Strowman vs. ???/???

Strowman throws them to the floor and hits the running shoulders. He does it a second time, followed by a powerslam each and then a double powerslam for the pin at 3:01.

Rating: F. Yes three minutes on a build towards a battle royal designed to get everyone on the show where it’s going to be about the SNL guys and Strowman is likely to lose. And all this before a Baron Corbin main event because WWE decides what we care about and is going to hammer it into us no matter what, because this is their idea of pushing Strowman the year after he teamed with a kid to win a match. Wrestlemania can be such a trying season and it’s stuff like this that makes it a chore at times.

Here are Bobby Lashley and Lio Rush to say they’re not worried about the Demon showing up at Wrestlemania because it’s just Balor in face paint. Balor pops up on screen (with smoke surrounding his face) to say he’s always had demons and at Wrestlemania, his demon will become Lashley’s nightmare. The Demon appears from behind the smoke and snarls.

As lame as it was to hear it referred to as “Finn Balor’s alter ego the Demon”, I can get behind the idea of advertising something like that in advance. What I can’t get behind though is the logic here. Balor can beat Rush and Lashley, or Lashley and Mahal, at the same time but he uses the Demon here? And not at the Royal Rumble against Brock for the title?

Rey Mysterio vs. Baron Corbin

It’s the go home show for Wrestlemania and it’s Baron Corbin in the main event. Renee Young again gets it wrong by saying that it’s been over five years since Rey wrestled on Raw. Corbin gets knocked outside to start and we hit the pause button so Corbin call yell at fans. A suicide dive is blocked with a right hand though and we take a break. Back with Rey still in trouble and Corbin slowly stomping away. Rey seems to have hurt his knee so Corbin takes him outside and sends him into the barricade.

Back inside and Rey kicks him with the good leg, only to get thrown into the air and dropped face first down. Corbin sends him face first into the post as the slow, boring match continues. Rey fights back again and headscissors Corbin into the 619 but misses the frog splash. Deep Six finishes Mysterio (the #1 contender to the US Title, after the US Champion was pinned by Angle last week) at 13:35.

Rating: D. I don’t remember the last time I was so sick of a wrestler as I am of Baron Corbin. He wins here (because the US Title is so unimportant to this company that it might as well be the WCW Title) and then he’ll lose on Sunday but be right back on Raw the next night getting beaten up again by someone else. Heaven forbid we give ANYONE else a chance in a spot like this so he can’t kill off a show. At this point, Angle vs. Corbin should be for the US Title, but I’m sure it’s something we just need to stop thinking about because wins and losses don’t matter, except for when wins and losses matter.

Post match Angle comes out and makes Corbin tap to the ankle lock on the stage.

One more look at the triple arrest ends the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The first two hours or so of this show were a heck of a go home show for Wrestlemania, with the stories being treated as important, some nice angle advancement and even a few surprises. Then it went flying off the rails in a blaze of negative glory as soon as we got to whatever is left of Braun Strowman and then Baron Corbin, who WWE thinks is the greatest heel in recent history. There are good ideas here and it made me like Wrestlemania a bit more, but when WWE gets obsessed with an idea, it can drag down a show like nothing else. That happened here, and it makes me scared for Sunday.

Results

Beth Phoenix/Natalya/Boss N Hug Connection b. IIconics/Nia Jax/Tamina

Apollo Crews b. Jinder Mahal – Frog splash

Revival b. Ricochet/Aleister Black via countout

Ronda Rousey/Charlotte/Becky Lynch b. Riott Squad – Armbar to Morgan

Heavy Machinery b. Chad Gable/Bobby Roode – Compactor to Gable

Braun Strowman b. ???/??? – Double powerslam

Baron Corbin b. Rey Mysterio – Deep Six

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: October 28, 2004
Location: Qwest Center, Omaha, Nebraska
Attendance: 3,700
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We have a new hero around here as Booker T. pinned JBL in a six man tag last week, setting himself up as the likely next challenger. That makes perfect sense and is a good way to set up someone fresh on top. You would think Raw might be able to learn a little something from that but at the moment, it’s unique to Smackdown. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

The Tough Enough finalists are here with Al Snow and ready for their first challenge. They go into the locker room but Big Show and a few others aren’t pleased. These rookies can go dress in the hallway instead, with Show shoving Daniel Puder around. Snow is fine with these developments and tells them to leave their stuff in the hall.

They come to the ring (with John Meyer missing, having quit before even getting this far) and it’s already time for a challenge. Well first it’s time for the introductions because we need to know these names before we forget about them. Big Show just embarrassed all of them and now it’s time for them to talk back, meaning they have twenty seconds to cut a quick promo on Show.

Chris, in a kind of stoner Hulk Hogan voice, talks about how he’ll be ready to be in the same locker room in about a month.

Mike sucks up to the Oklahoma crowd (Tazz points out the problem) and says he’ll be ready to wrestle after a year of training with Snow.

Ryan is fired up and talks about being the vanilla gorilla and if Show had this chance, he would have taken it too.

Dan Rodimer gives a weird cocky promo about how he’s not going anymore.

Nick says he’s big time and dances before crawling across the ring.

Justice wants Show to come out and play because Show went after the smallest of all the finalists.

Daniel Puder says he’ll break Show’s arms and legs because he’s an Ultimate Fighter.

Snow says that was really good, despite saying they were digging a grave a few times. And now here’s Big Show so they can say these things to his face. Show tells Rodimer to tell us why he’s so tough and takes a swing at him. Rodimer ducks and now we get to the second part of the challenge: a slam for each of them.

Ryan walks right at him, gets slammed, and has to roll away.

Mike pops up with a grimace on his face.

Mitchell gets slapped in the face and can barely move, as is the case with Puder.

Chris goes up awkwardly and lands just the same.

Justice gets slammed slowly (he’s got some size to him) but Show drops an elbow on him for good measure.

Rodimer gets in Show’s face, goes up awkwardly as well, and gets kneed in the chest. This is miles ahead of watching the Divas eat pie, but egads how annoyed must the paying fans be to watch a fifteen minute reality competition?

We look back at Booker T.’s annoyances with being in a six man last week and the ensuing victory over JBL in a pretty solid face turn.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Nunzio

This is Chavo’s first match in about two months after taking a shooting star to the head. Hang on though as here’s Billy Kidman to do commentary. The distraction lets Nunzio jump him from behind but a clothesline gets Chavo out of trouble. A belly to back gets two on Nunzio but he knees Chavo in the face and works on the arm. Back up and a running headscissors takes Nunzio down to a rather strong reaction. A right hand puts Chavo down and Nunzio rams him head first into the mat.

The announcers continue to grill Kidman over his weaponizing the shooting star press as Chavo makes another comeback. Chavo’s spinebuster gets two but a double clothesline sends Nunzio outside. With Chavo down, Kidman comes in and misses a shooting star. The crash lets Chavo hit a Gory Bomb for the pin.

Rating: C-. They need to go with the momentum Chavo has as fast as they can because the fact that he’s Chavo Guerrero is going to catch up with him in a hurry. He’s a very good hand in the ring but he’s not the most thrilling personality and that has been his problem for most of his career. There’s nothing wrong with going with this story though and they would be dumb not to try something.

JBL talks about not losing a singles match in months and brushes off last week’s loss because it was a tag match. Booker isn’t in his league but here’s Booker for a rather intimidating stare. They argue with Booker saying he’ll take the title but Orlando Jordan gets in his face. Booker: “Go make me a sandwich or something.” Theodore Long comes in to make Jordan vs. Booker for tonight and if Booker wins, he gets a title shot at Survivor Series.

Heidenreich is on the phone with Paul Heyman and begs him to get the match with Undertaker. He needs the match so Heyman has to get Undertaker to sign a contract.

Smackdown Your Vote campaign rally video.

Paul Heyman is in a dark room and talks to the unseen Undertaker, rather fearfully asking if he will sign the contract. Heidenreich needs this match but Heyman says everything was his idea over the last few months. Undertaker reaches over and signs the contract, then grabs Heyman by the throat. We see him for the first time with Undertaker saying that he hasn’t forgotten what Heyman did to him earlier this year. That contract was for Heidenreich’s execution.

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

Everyone is barred from ringside. Angle easily powers Rey (in American flag pants) onto the corner to start before taking him down into a headlock takeover. Rey almost looks confused and comes up holding his shoulder. He’s fine enough for a headlock of his own and the jawing starts until Rey actually starts a chase around the ring to send Angle outside.

The frustrated Angle grabs a chair but changes to an overhead belly to belly to send Rey outside in a nasty crash. We take a break and come back with Rey getting suplexed again as Angle is looking confident. Cole: “Ladies and gentlemen if you think this is a great match, later tonight it’s Booker T. vs. Orlando Jordan!” That’s just deflating. Angle grabs a waistlock to keep Rey down, setting up a heck of a German suplex.

Angle waistlocks him for a bit until Rey fights up for a tornado DDT in his first real offense. It’s weird seeing Rey get complete dominated like this. Rey’s sitout bulldog has Angle rocked but the springboard spinning crossbody hits the referee. The 619 is broken up by an invading Luther Reigns and Mark Jindrak, who draw out Rob Van Dam for the save. The Angle Slam hits Rey but here’s Eddie Guerrero to take Angle down. A frog splash is enough for the still out Rey to steal the pin.

Rating: C. This was a weird one with Rey almost getting squashed until the end when everything went nuts. Eddie vs. Angle is feeling tired now as Angle has pretty definitively won the feud, though they’re still going because there aren’t enough people for either of them to feud with on the show. They both need something fresh, though I’m not sure what they can do at the moment.

Torrie Wilson is getting ready for her Halloween costume contest when Kenzo Suzuki comes in to hit on her. The freaked out Torrie finally gets him to leave.

Eddie/Rey/RVD argue with Angle/Jindrak/Reigns in Long’s office. Long makes the Survivor Series elimination tag for Survivor Series with both of them needing another partner.

Cole: “We haven’t had an elimination tag match at Survivor Series in a number of years!” That number would be zero, as there were two of them last year. My goodness this man is bad at this job. Tazz brings up the intelligence a bit by saying that he’s talked to John Cena, who has been getting better.

Josh Matthews asks Carlito about rumors of him being in the club the night Cena was stabbed. A big man grabs Josh and holds him against a wall for asking the question. That would be Jesus, who holds Josh as Carlito says he was in the club that night, celebrating his title win. He left before anything happened though, because thugs like Cena aren’t cool. Josh gets the apple treatment.

Cole emcees the costume contest between Torrie Wilson and Dawn Marie. Torrie is a fairy (which surprises Tazz, even though we saw the costume earlier) and Dawn is a nurse, which she says she wears while nursing Charlie Haas back to health. This brings out Jackie for the fight with Dawn being stripped of her costume, because that’s how you hurt someone in wrestling.

Big Show comes up to Eddie and demands the fourth spot on the team. Eddie doesn’t like being told what to do and yells about how he’s already got a fourth man. It’s Big Show.

Raw Rebound.

Team Angle is freaking out when the Dudleys come in. Spike offers Bubba or D-Von, but Angle says they can have the spot if they take out Big Show. Spike has a plan.

Long, long recap of the Tough Enough segment.

Booker T. vs. Orlando Jordan

If Booker wins, he gets JBL for the title at Survivor Series. Booker takes over with almost no effort, mainly because it’s Orlando Jordan. A poke to the eye lets Jordan hammer away in the corner so Booker clotheslines him into an armbar. That’s broken up and Jordan chokes on the rope but since that’s the extent of Jordan’s offense, Booker shrugs it off and knocks him outside. A drop onto the announcers’ table and a glare at JBL take us to an early break.

Back with Booker hitting a pair of suplexes and walking around. Is he supposed to be worried about Jordan? A JBL distraction lets Jordan send Booker into the steps a few times and we hit the chinlock back inside. Booker gets taken down again with a hot shot so Jordan goes up for a….I think a high crossbody but it looked more like a forearm.

Either way Booker rolls through but gets taken right back into a chinlock. Booker’s swinging neckbreaker gets him out of trouble for a bit and a flapjack does it for even longer. The spinwheel kick and spinebuster combine for two and, after kicking JBL down, the ax kick finishes Jordan to give Booker the title shot.

Rating: D-. Well what else were you expecting here? Who actually thought Orlando Jordan was going to be a threat to Booker T? Jordan was really bad here with nothing above a rookie level offense, which doesn’t quite work when you’re supposed to be some kind of an enforcer. Terrible match that went on far too long, and that’s all because of Jordan.

Overall Rating: D. This was a rough one and I don’t see it getting any better anytime soon. You have Undertaker vs. Heidenreich coming up, plus a lot more Tough Enough. It’s a better concept than the Diva Search as these people are being treated somewhat seriously, but it’s still going to take up a lot of time on the show and require years before the winner (or the several other people hired) are ready to do anything. Other than that, the stories are starting to wear thin and while Booker is a fine challenger for JBL, the match to get him there was a disaster. Pretty bad show here, and it doesn’t feel like a one off.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: March 26, 2019
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Uncasville, Connecticut
Commentators: Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

Ok it has to be tonight right? I mean it has to be. Tonight has to be the setup for Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan for Wrestlemania. Now when I say has to be, I mean it should be but probably won’t be as WWE is likely waiting until the very last possible chance to make the match for some reason. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s New Day to get things going. That means a lot of chanting for Kofi, which shouldn’t be very surprising at this point. If Woods could be serious for a minute, the last few months have been an emotional roller coaster and the fans have been here from NEW DAY SUCKS to NEW DAY ROCKS. It’s been worth every bit of it and the KOFI/NEW DAY ROCKS chants begin.

However, given all the obstacles places in Kofi’s path, they’re considering walking away from WWE. Kofi has been treated badly for eleven years and he’s lived the power of positivity the whole time. They can’t make a decision until they get answers and they would need to be from Mr. McMahon. Therefore, they’re not leaving the ring until Vince comes out here. Cue Vince but before he can say anything, Daniel Bryan and Rowan interrupt instead. Bryan says New Day is a stale novelty act that Vince created and all he has to do is bring up three people from NXT, call them Fresh Afternoon and have them throw waffles into the crowd.

Kofi is a loser and Vince shouldn’t let Big E. and Woods get in his head. Vince has been right to keep Kofi out of the title picture and the people refuse to accept that reality. Bryan and Kofi argue about who is the hypocrite but Vince wants everyone to shut up. He doesn’t like the threats of quitting that were never going to happen.

Vince still sees Kofi as a B+ player but the question is if New Day is a B+ tag team. There is a way for Kofi to get to Wrestlemania: Big E./Xavier have to win….a tag team gauntlet match. Are they really managing to be this lazy on the Road to Wrestlemania? Doing three gauntlet matches in about seven weeks is their brilliant idea?

In the back, Becky Lynch talks about how she’s bringing the people and Ronda Rousey is bringing the title, but what does Charlotte bring? Charlotte comes out to the ring and says she’ll show you how worthy she is.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Asuka vs. Charlotte

Asuka is defending and the announcers are rather stunned. They fight over wrist control to start until Asuka grabs a headlock. A shot to the ribs puts Charlotte on the floor and we take a break. Back with Asuka getting two off a sunset flip but getting kicked in the knee. Asuka shrugs off the kicks and hits a hip attack in the corner, followed by a sliding basement dropkick for two. Another hip attack misses and Charlotte kicks her in the face. Charlotte’s moonsault is countered into the Asuka Lock with a rollup getting Charlotte out of trouble.

Back from a second break with Asuka getting two more off another kick to the head. Asuka heads up top but gets caught in a super Spanish Fly for a rather near fall in a spot you almost never see on the main shows. The followup takes too long though and it’s a triangle choke from Asuka, which is reversed into a sitout powerbomb (What else would it be?). The Figure Eight gives Charlotte the title at 15:52.

Rating: B. Another very good match from these two as they work well together, but that’s quite the curve ball for the main event. Odds are this leads to a unified title, which is the best thing for everyone right now. You have Asuka, Rousey, Becky and Charlotte at the moment and if Rousey is leaving, there’s no need for two titles between three big stars. Let the rest of the division fight over the Tag Team Titles and go with the traveling champion, as it’s best for everyone.

With Asuka down on the floor, Kurt Angle comes out for his match. Way to make the women look important there guys.

AJ Styles is honored to be Kurt Angle’s final Smackdown opponent and isn’t taking this match lightly.

AJ Styles vs. Kurt Angle

They shake hands and hug before the match before AJ pulls him down into the Calf Crusher. Angle is about to tap but hangs on long enough to reverse it into the ankle lock. AJ sends him into the corner for the break and here’s Randy Orton with an RKO to Styles for the DQ at 1:30. NOW WHY COULDN’T THEY DO THAT WITH SAMOA JOE LAST NIGHT???

Post match Angle gives Orton the Angle Slam, dropping him on the way to the mat.

Rey Mysterio and his son Dominick say that Samoa Joe isn’t going to have a good time at Wrestlemania when Rey becomes the new US Champion.

Here’s Miz for a chat, but first he needs to agree with the MIZ IS AWESOME chants. We’re twelve days away from Wrestlemania and the only thing he can imagine is ripping Shane McMahon limb from limb. Miz wants to hurt Shane so badly that he wants to change things a bit by making it a Falls Count Anywhere match. This brings out Shane, albeit behind a group of security guards and various midcarders. After having the ring announcer do a well done introduction, Shane says Miz sounds as dumb as his father looked.

We see an image from Fastlane of Shane grabbing Miz’s dad by the face with Shane saying it makes him feel better every time he sees it. Shane loved hurting Miz’s dad to the point where it was euphoric. Therefore, the stipulation is accepted, though Shane says he made a mistake of not hurting Miz even more. It was the biggest mistake since Miz’s father impregnated his mother.

Miz beats up the security and the wrestlers (to be fair it was Sanity and Shelton Benjamin) as Shane watches from the stage. A dive off the barricade lets Miz beat then into the crowd in a rather strong moment. They’re getting twenty minutes at Wrestlemania aren’t they? They’ve presented the thing as the third biggest match on the show so far.

We look back at the opening segment.

We look back at the Women’s Title match.

We look back at the SNL guys agreeing to enter the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal.

The IIconics are excited to be in the Women’s Tag Team Title match.

Tag Team Gauntlet Match

If New Day wins, Kofi gets his title shot at Wrestlemania. Big E./Xavier Woods are in first and Anderson and Gallows are in second. Woods goes straight at Anderson to start and it’s UpUpDownDown for the elimination at 49 seconds, which isn’t even enough time for me to make fun of Anderson and Gallows for still being around.

Rusev and Shinsuke Nakamura are in third as a crowd is gathering to watch backstage, including the Hardys, Rey Mysterio and Becky Lynch. Woods headscissors Nakamura down but misses a Stinger Splash in the corner. That lets Nakamura hit the running knee in the corner and Woods is sent outside as we take a break.

Back with Good Vibrations and a knee drop getting two as the audience has grown. The reverse exploder is countered and it’s Big E. coming in for some overhead belly to bellies. The Warrior Splash looks to set up the Big Ending but Big E. gets sent outside. That means a whip into the steps for Rusev but he’s fine enough for the Machka Kick back inside. Woods is back in for a dive onto Rusev as Kinshasa misses. Nakamura goes into the post and UpUpDownDown pins Nakamura at 9:27 total.

The Bar is in fourth and we’re joined in progress with Sheamus working on Big E.’s leg before handing it off to Cesaro. That means the Swing into the Sharpshooter but Big E. kicks him out to the floor. The hot tag is broken up but Big E. manages to fight them both off and, after a backdrop to Cesaro, the hot tag brings in Woods. Everything breaks down and it’s a big flip dive onto the Bar. A guillotine legdrop gets two on Cesaro with Sheamus diving in for a save.

Back from another break with Big E. caught in a half crab from Cesaro but Sheamus charges into a powerbomb. It’s back to Woods, who dives into an uppercut for two. The spike White Noise is broken up though and it’s a rollup to pin Sheamus at 23:55. We’re not done though as the Bar takes out Big E. and powerbomb him through a table.

The Usos are in fifth and want Big E. to get up and fight. Hang on though as Jimmy grabs a mic and says the Usos have fought wars against the New Day. Kofi deserves the shot so since he’s already earned respect from everyone….so the Usos forfeit at 26:23. We cut to the back where Bryan and Rowan freak out and wreck their locker room (that’s a lot of chairs for two people).

Back from another break with Rowan and Daniel Bryan being announced as the final team. Big E. can barely stand so Bryan wraps his leg around the post as Rowan crossbodies Woods. We settle down to a regular match with Bryan stomping on Big E. and grabbing something like an ankle lock/half crab hybrid. Big E. gets over for the hot tag to Big E. anyway and it’s a flip dive onto Rowan.

The Rock Bottom out of the corner plants Bryan and the Big Ending connects but Rowan makes the save. The claw slam gets two and it’s time to load up the announcers’ table. Woods is back up with a tornado DDT off the steps to drop Bryan and Rowan goes into the post twice in a row. A clothesline sends Rowan over the table and Big E. turns it on top of him to win via countout at 37:49.

Rating: C+. I liked this one better with the slightly shorter length and some more creative ways to end some falls. Above all else, the champions involved didn’t get pinned, which is a lot better than what I was expecting. The problem is I also expect New Day to turn on Kofi for getting him into the match and leaving him with the glory.

A rather calm Vince gets in his limo and says Kofi is going to Wrestlemania to face Daniel Bryan for the title.

The locker room comes out to celebrate with Kofi to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. Well they nailed this one for the most part, assuming you don’t mind a strong curve in Charlotte winning the title. Kofi FINALLY being set up for the title match is a great thing, though I don’t think he gets the title. I’m rather relieved that they didn’t have Angle go over AJ and they even threw in some storyline advancement. Throw in no mention of the Women’s Battle Royal or the Smackdown Tag Team Title matches and I’m very pleased.

Results

Charlotte b. Asuka – Figure Eight

AJ Styles b. Kurt Angle via DQ when Randy Orton interfered

New Day won a gauntlet match last eliminating Daniel Bryan and Rowan

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6