No Way Out 2003 (2017 Redo): Half and Lower Half

No Way Out 2003
Date: February 23, 2003
Location: Bell Centre, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Attendance: 15,100
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s time for another pay per view that is little more than a glorified pit stop before the real pay per view. At least this time around there are some major matches though, including Scott Steiner vs. HHH II and Rock vs. Hulk Hogan II, the latter of which is a little more interesting as Rock is a full on heel. Let’s get to it.

There’s no regular opening video this time as it’s just the logo flying through what looks like a standard dungeon in a 90s PC game.

Jeff Hardy vs. Chris Jericho

This was originally going to be Test vs. Jericho but he missed a show earlier in the week and Jeff got the spot instead (thank goodness). Jericho armbars him to start but gets sent hard into the ropes for some right hands. A belly to back suplex cuts him off though and the fans are behind their Canadian hero. Jericho is quickly sent outside though and it’s a springboard Whisper in the Wind to drop him again.

The apron run clothesline misses though and Jeff gets sent into the steps to slow things down. We hit the chinlock for a bit until Jeff fights up and sidesteps a charge to send Jericho into the post. A Codebreaker and DDT give Jeff two each but he misses an enziguri and it’s off to the Walls. That goes nowhere so Jeff reverses another attempt into a small package for two.

A reverse Twist of Fate looks to set up the Swanton but Jericho rolls away, setting up the Lionsault for another near fall. Chris gets two off a sleeper drop with his feet on the ropes and heads up top. Jeff crotches him down but the hurricanrana is countered into a superbomb, followed by the Walls to make Hardy tap.

Rating: B. Solid opener here with Jeff more than holding his own but not being ready to beat someone like Jericho on his own yet. The ending looked good too with Jeff finally giving up, especially after a huge move like the superbomb. Jeff would have his day, though the abandoned heel turn has left a few questions that aren’t likely to be answered.

Jericho won’t let go so Shawn Michaels runs in (to a chorus of boos) for the save. Christian comes in as well but it’s a superkick for both Canadians. The fans like Shawn again.

Kurt Angle gives Team Angle a pep talk because this country has no Canadian heroes. They’re not teaming up for the first time and losing to a walking gorilla and two Canucks. Kurt has an idea for an early advantage.

Evolution arrives and pass Austin’s truck.

Raw Tag Team Titles: William Regal/Lance Storm vs. Kane/Rob Van Dam

Kane and Van Dam are challenging. For your stupid statement of the night (so far), Coach says Van Dam made his debut a year ago at No Way Out 2002. He was already a three time Hardcore Champion by that point. Van Dam grabs a headlock on Storm to start and kicks him down into the champs’ corner.

Regal comes in and takes a spinning kick to the shoulder, followed by the split legged moonsault for two. Kane is so unscared of the champs that he takes Regal into Storm’s corner to keep beating on him. Van Dam can’t launch Rolling Thunder so he dives onto the champs instead. Back in and Rob gets shoved off the top and into the barricade, followed by Regal dropping him on his head with a half nelson suplex.

Storm grabs a DDT and a chinlock as the fans want Regal. A kick to the face allows the hot tag to Kane, who comes in with all of his usual. The chokeslam is loaded up but Storm twists Kane’s mask around, which is completely irreversible for some reason. The blind Kane chokeslams Van Dam to give Regal the pin.

Rating: D+. Basically a Raw match, which is the problem with so much of the tag division these days: these teams are thrown together and don’t have a ton of chemistry together in the first place so they’re not likely to have a very good match. This match wasn’t terrible but Regal and Storm aren’t thrilling in the first place and the ending was pretty stupid.

Van Dam isn’t pleased.

Matt Hardy is being interviewed when Jeff stumbles by. Matt insults him and the Imag-I-Nation for losing all the time. Jeff slaps him in the face but Shannon Moore holds Matt back.

Cruiserweight Title: Matt Hardy vs. Billy Kidman

Matt, who is annoyed by snow and ice and takes hot tea with milk and sweetener, is challenging. Kidman gets armdragged down to start and we hit the jumping jacks. A hiptoss to the apron and a whip into the post put Kidman on the floor. Back in and a neckbreaker gets two and we hit a chinlock.

It’s off to a front facelock as this is entirely one sided in the first five minutes. Tazz talks about banana juice which is likely a joke that I won’t find funny. Kidman fights up but gets caught in the Ricochet for two. An enziguri gives Kidman a breather though in his first significant offense.

The BK Bomb gets two but Matt is right back with a clothesline and the middle rope legdrop. The Twist of Fate is countered into a rollup but a Shannon distraction sets up the Side Effect for two. Kidman comes right back with a Bodog but Shannon breaks up the shooting star. The distraction lets Matt grab a super Twist of Fate for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. Matt winning is completely the right call here as Kidman was another name on a long list of boring champions (partially because WWE won’t do anything with the title). At least Matt has a ton of charisma and vignettes of him trying to keep the weight off could be entertaining stuff.

Edge is out cold in the back with Benoit and Lesnar checking on him. In other words he needs neck surgery and would be out for over a year.

We recap Undertaker vs. Big Show. Undertaker was laid out back in the fall but returned at the Royal Rumble, wanting some revenge. This led to a series of segments where Show sent presents to Undertaker to fill in time before beating him down on Smackdown earlier this week. In other words, GET ON WITH IT ALREADY BECAUSE WE’VE SEEN THIS MATCH A TON OF TIMES AND IT DOESN’T NEED TO HAPPEN AGAIN!

Undertaker vs. Big Show

Show has Paul Heyman with him. Undertaker circles the bike around the ring and they start slugging it out until Show easily posts him to take over. They head inside with Undertaker kicking him in the head (more of a dropkick than anything else) and the apron legdrop makes it even better. The referee gets shoved down so Show punches a chair into Undertaker’s head. As usual, this isn’t a DQ because these are big hosses and you don’t disqualify them.

A slam doesn’t work as Show falls back onto him for two. Cole’s analysis: it’s tough to slam a 500lb man. Some slow elbows have Undertaker in trouble as we hear about Edge being taken to a hospital. With Heyman shouting that Show has him, Undertaker charges straight into a bearhug to stay on the bad back. A side slam gives Show two as Cole things Undertaker is trying to get Big Show to punch himself out.

Some headbutts bust Undertaker open with Cole pointing out how quiet the crowd is. That’s not something you want to point out but at least a Taker chant brings them back a bit. Undertaker fights back with right hands and the running clotheslines in the corner, followed by a REALLY BIG CLOTHESLINE for two. Old School sets up the battle of the attempted chokeslams and it’s a standoff. A low blow sets up a running DDT to drop Show for two.

Back up and Undertaker walks into a spinebuster to slow things down even more. A dragon sleeper has Show in trouble but of course Heyman offers a distraction. Cue A-Train for a distraction but it’s the Taker Dive to put both Heyman and A-Train down. Back in and a chokeslam gives Show….nothing as Undertaker pulls him into a triangle choke (not a great one either) to knock Show out for the win.

Rating: D. The match wasn’t terrible but it went WAY longer than it needed to. This went on over fourteen minutes and would wind up being the longest match of the night. Undertaker vs. Big Show isn’t the most interesting match in the world and after three to four months of build, I really need more than a slow power brawl that we’ve seen them have so many times.

Undertaker goes to grab a chair but walks into the Trainwreck (which Tazz calls the Derailer) to leave him laying.

Quick look at Edge being taken away.

Eric Bischoff and Chief Morely talk potential stipulations for Bischoff vs. Austin but Vince comes in and says it’s one on one with anyone interfering being fired.

Kurt Angle/Team Angle vs. Brock Lesnar/Chris Benoit

How awesome did Angle look in the track suit with the hood up and the title on? Or just the track suits in general? Cole thinks Angle and company had SOMETHING to do with Edge being taken out. Benoit has on the Toothless Aggression shirt which was always good for a chuckle. Benjamin and Benoit start things off and hit the mat for a bit until Benoit whips him hard into the corner.

Haas comes in and gets to be stomped in the corner by Brock Lesnar. That’s what you get for joining the team chum. Lesnar cleans house and stares Angle down, sending Kurt out to the floor. Team Angle’s interference earns them another beating as Tazz tries to figure out what a Canuck is. Angle sneaks in for a choke on Brock and Shelton adds a superkick to take over.

Like any good heel, Angle comes in and stomps away before grabbing a chinlock with a grapevine. This goes on for a good while as the match isn’t exactly as energetic as you would expect from a match of this magnitude. Brock finally drives Angle into the corner for the break, which according to the Kurt Angle 24 special on the WWE Network, broke his neck AGAIN. You can see that he’s very shaken up as he crawls over for the tag off to Benjamin, who gets elbowed in the face by the legal Benoit.

Everything breaks down and Benoit starts firing off German suplexes, including a now very scary one to Angle. Kurt is fine enough to run the corner for a belly to belly superplex on Benoit as we hit the second heat segment. It’s off to Charlie for some stomping and a release belly to belly. Angle comes back in to start in on the arm and shoulder, followed by a front facelock.

Kurt looks fine for the most part here though it could just be adrenaline carrying him. Benoit’s comeback is cut off by another German suplex and it’s off to Shelton again. They’re doing a very solid job of cutting the ring off here but I could go for a bit better choices of offense than stomping and the occasional suplex.

Benoit dropkicks Shelton down and the hot tag brings in Lesnar. Everything breaks down and Benoit reverses the ankle lock into a Crossface which is reversed into an ankle lock which is reversed into a Crossface until Haas makes the save. That’s countered into another Crossface for the tap as Lesnar F5’s Angle.

Rating: B-. This felt like it was waiting to get into the next gear and they never even attempted to get there. Maybe the lack of Edge really messed things up here but I’m glad they didn’t go with Lesnar pinning Angle in the most likely finish. Having Benoit make Haas tap doesn’t hurt anything and Lesnar beat Angle up at the same time so they helped most that forward a bit as well. This would fine for a big Smackdown main event but it doesn’t do much on pay per view.

We recap HHH vs. Scott Steiner. They had one of the worst big matches of all time at the Royal Rumble and now we’re having a rematch in a vain attempt to validate Steiner’s main event push. HHH now has the full Evolution behind him so Steiner is fighting an even more uphill battle. This gets the music video treatment, which is often the case with HHH matches. Eh I like Bring Me To Life so it’s fine.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Scott Steiner

Steiner is challenging and HHH only has Flair in his corner. The champ also had a thigh injury coming in and his leg is heavily taped up. They go nose to nose to start and you can see the fans going off while Steiner shouts SHUT UP at no one in particular. Steiner sends him into the corner and the fans boo him out of the building.

The clothesline (with HHH falling before contact) sets up the Push-Up Elbow and the fans are just not having it from Steiner. He goes after the bandage (which Lawler thinks is illegal) before going with a leglock. The fans go into a STEINER SUCKS chant, which Coach thinks will mess with HHH. Steiner grabs a Figure Four but Flair offers a distraction and gets chased around a bit. HHH sends him into the steps to take over and the fans start the YOU SCREWED BRET chant at Earl Hebner.

Now it’s the BORING chant, even though it’s not that bad. HHH’s neckbreaker gets two but he walks into the first belly to belly suplex, drawing the loudest booing of the match. HHH stops a charge with a boot but Hebner won’t count with the feet on the ropes. Hebner won’t disqualify him either so we get the traditional argument with the referee. Another belly to belly puts Steiner in control again and he hammers the champ’s head.

The third belly to belly has me scared and a super Angle Slam gets two with Flair pulling Scott off the cover. The Steiner Recliner goes on and here’s Orton for the distraction. Batista gets whipped into the steps and Steiner throws Orton on top of him before the rest of Evolution is FINALLY ejected. HHH gets in a belt shot for two, followed by the Pedigree to retain.

Rating: D-. Well it’s still horrible, but this is Austin vs. Rock II by comparison to what they did back in January. This match is a mess in its own right but Steiner only threw a handful of suplexes and the match was a manageable thirteen minutes instead of pushing twenty like the original. The fans were ready this time too and it made the match a lot more odd than bad. It’s certainly bad of course but it’s nothing as bad as what we saw at the Rumble.

Various wrestlers laugh at Bischoff.

We recap the kind of confusing Eric Bischoff vs. Steve Austin massacre. Vince gave Bischoff thirty days (which turned into less than four weeks) to turn Raw around or be fired. This turned into an obsession with bringing Austin back, which became the only possible way to turn Raw around. Bischoff them went on a wild goose chase to find Austin until Jim Ross got Austin to agree to show up. Apparently Vince agreed that signing Austin back to Raw would save Bischoff’s job but Eric had to fight him first. That’s how we got here, despite it not being close to thirty days.

Jim Ross comes out for commentary.

Eric Bischoff vs. Steve Austin

Bischoff, in his karate gear, begs for mercy and offers to help Austin make a fortune. That goes as well as you would expect as Austin, in jean shorts, takes him down and stomps away to quite the reaction. Austin takes off Bischoff’s gloves, allowing Eric to rake the eyes. A kick to the chest has no effect, because former professional martial artists are worthless once they become authority figures. Austin takes him to the floor for another beating and hits three Stunners for the pin. JR, of course, loses it.

Rating: D-. There’s your Raw main event people and it was about what had to be expected. Austin looked good in a short burst like this but he wasn’t very interesting when he left in the first place and that’s not a good sign going forward. Austin vs. just about anyone on Raw at the moment doesn’t sound too appealing (Austin vs. HHH would be their best option and that sounds rather boring) but maybe he’s the shot in the arm that Raw needs, at least in the short term.

Austin hits another Stunner for good measure.

We recap Rock vs. Hulk Hogan. After a look at last year’s Wrestlemania dream match, we shift to the real story of Vince vs. Hogan. They’ve been arguing over who created Hulkamania so Vince brought Hollywood Rock in to deal with Hogan, setting up the rematch. Oh and Hulk called Rock a Rock-A-Jabroni.

The Rock vs. Hulk Hogan

Rock debuts his long form Hollywood entrance, complete with a helicopter flying over the city until we hear Rock starting with the catchphrases. Hogan’s entrance seems to take Rock aback so he jumps Hogan to start, only to get knocked outside. We’re already in the stall until Hogan goes outside to throw some right hands. Back in and Rock can’t send him into the buckle as Cole points out that the referee, Sylvan Grenier, is from Montreal. That can’t end well.

More right hands send Rock outside but he snaps Hogan’s throat across the top. A quick Rock Bottom gets two and the stunned Rock puts on Hogan’s bandanna. Rock grabs the weightlifting belt and administers a whipping, only to stop to grab some water. The hydration break allows Hogan to get in a few whips of his own. That goes badly for Hogan as he gets caught in a DDT to set up the Sharpshooter.

Hogan gets the rope but gets pulled back to the middle, with Grenier not bothering to break the hold. Egads it’s going to be a screwy referee in Montreal isn’t it? Two arm drops set up a wagging finger though and Hogan kicks Rock out to the floor to escape. They head outside for more brawling with neither guy being able to hit a chair shot. Grenier takes it away from Hogan, allowing Rock to hit a low blow. The announcers are going out of their way to talk about the referee here.

A spinebuster sets up the People’s Elbow, including Rock throwing in a Hogan pose before dropping the elbow. That means Hulk Up time with the big boot and legdrop getting…nothing as the lights go out. They come back on to reveal….Grenier out cold next to a chair. Cole: “How did that chair get into the ring?” Hogan brought it in five minutes ago you dingbat.

Here’s Vince of course and we hit the YOU SCREWED BRET chants. Grenier slips Rock the chair to knock Hogan silly and the Rock Bottom gives Rock the pin. Cole calls it a screwjob because Montreal is a thing that happened and we’ll make sure you never forget it and then mock you for being wrestling fans who remember things.

Rating: D. Rock was doing everything he could here but there’s only so much you can do to get around Hogan being so far over the hill that he’s at the bottom of a lake, plus a stupid story. The fact that this is about to set up Hogan vs. McMahon tells you everything you need to know: Rock comes back as one of the best heels in years but he’s a lackey for Vince vs. Hogan. Of course he is.

Post match Rock leaves so Vince can get in his big joke: a Hogan shirt with NOTHING written underneath “Whatcha Gonna Do?”. A bloody Hogan stares Vince down to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. There’s some good stuff in there to help balance out the bad but the second half of this show is one horrible match after another. The better matches weren’t exactly pay per view quality, at least partially due to the amount of time they had. As mentioned the longest match was just over fourteen minutes, which likely has something to do with the shot barely breaking two and a half hours. The short length helps when the big matches were so bad but I don’t get why some of the good stuff couldn’t have been a bit longer.

Other than that though, it’s the same problem that so many B show have, especially the ones right before a major pay per view: it feels like nothing more than a pit stop before we get to the really important show. That was the case here, with the handicap match and the main event just feeling like a way to get to the Wrestlemania match. If this show doesn’t feel important, why am I supposed to care? Bad show here, but it’s only because of a specific half of the show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Smackdown – February 20, 2003: That’s a Sweet Puppy

Smackdown
Date: February 20, 2003
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for No Way Out and the big draw this week is Hulk Hogan and the Rock being in the same building. I know it’s a battle of the generations but I’m not quite sure they’re going to have the same magic they had a year ago. Other than that, Kurt Angle has agreed to face Brock Lesnar. I’m sure he’s an honest man so let’s get to it.

There are two gift boxes on stage for Undertaker this time but here’s Rock, looking full on heel, to open things up. Cole acknowledges the mixed reaction and Rock certainly seems to notice it as well. Rock loads up FINALLY but has to do it three times before saying it doesn’t matter. He knows there are some fans booing and some that prefer Hogan but it doesn’t matter because he’s still the most electrifying man in sports entertainment today. Point to Rock on that one.

Rock gets back on track but hang on because his phone is ringing. It’s his personal assistant and he not so politely requests some silence. Rock is going to fly out tonight because he doesn’t want to be surrounded by all these hick. He means hickory trees of course and the Rocky chants start up again. Rock has one question: do you really want to boo the Rock? That’s crossing a line and the people need to understand what that could mean.

They keep booing so Rock promises a different Rock at No Way Out. Rock knows Hogan’s not here yet (Rock: “Late as usual.”) but tonight he’s going to show up again and tell Hogan what’s coming for him on Sunday. IF YA SMELL…….hang on a second. If you people want to boo the Rock, SING-A-LONG WITH THE ROCK IS NO LONGER AN OPTION! Rock: “What are you a bunch of sheep? Have some self respect!”

This was one of the best heel promos you’ll ever see as Rock completely directed the crowd exactly where he wanted them to go. When you have a star like the Rock, who is one of the most popular wrestlers of all time, it takes some incredible talent to make the crowd boo him with so much ease. The key thing for me was how Rock was clearly showing them where to go but still looked like he was smiling all the way instead of beating them over your head with his heel stuff as so many would. Check this out and see how to be a great heel.

Chris Benoit vs. A-Train

Benoit is clearly favoring his arm coming in. A-Train throws him around to start and even hits a Muscle Buster. The Trainwreck is countered into a Crossface but A-Train slips out without too much effort. That’s fine with Benoit, who grabs a rollup for the pin in short order, likely due to the bad arm.

Hogan arrives.

Funaki can’t get in to interview Rock due to personal security.

Johnny Stamboli vs. Rikishi

Rikishi hammers him in the back to start as the rest of the FBI leaves. That’s fine with Johnny who GORILLA PRESSES Rikishi (ignore the shaking knees) in the spot that should have gotten him on quite a few highlight reels. Johnny fires off some shoulders in the corner but it’s a Samoan drop and the superkick to give Rikishi the pin in less than two minutes.

And that’s why that gorilla press isn’t ever talked about among impressive feats of strength: because a guy having his first match as part of a new stable had to job to Rikishi clean in less than two minutes because RIKISHI is more valuable than someone who can gorilla press him. I’ve gone on about how ridiculous Rikishi’s status is for months now and it just keeps going for whatever reason. I’m sure Stamboli will be just fine and the whole team, which is a stupid idea in the first place, will be completely successful.

The FBI beats Rikishi down post match. I care so much after seeing Stamboli destroyed in short order.

Angle is warming up with Shelton Benjamin and promises to lead by example tonight.

And now, for one of my favorite moments from this era.

We go to Los Guerreros in Beverly Hills. Chavo: “Didn’t we steal a car over there once?” They hit on a mom walking her baby in a stroller (and of course there’s a camera where the baby would be). The baby is named Emily, which Eddie says mean Light of God. Eddie and Chavo talk about how cute the baby is before sending the woman on her way. The baby is ugly but more importantly they stole the woman’s wallet and watch. This one is a little rough but these would get REALLY good in a hurry.

Shannon Moore/Matt Hardy vs. Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman

Warmup before Matt, who is miserable when dieting and finds Shannon very hard to teach, gets a Cruiserweight Title shot on Sunday. We even see the weigh-in from earlier today where Matt stripped to make weight. Shannon spinwheel kicks Rey for two to start but Kidman comes in to drop Rey into a legdrop for the same.

It’s off to the now svelte Hardy to slam Kidman and drop an elbow for two. A front facelock doesn’t last long as Kidman pops up and makes the hot tag off to Mysterio. Matt powerbombs him for two and it’s right back to Kidman for a missile dropkick. Shannon makes the save with a top rope legdrop to give Matt two, only to be sent outside. Rey gets backdropped onto Rey, leaving Matt to Twist of Fate Kidman for the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here and it accomplished its goal but there was something missing to keep it from getting to the next level. Matt needs to be champion almost immediately as Kidman hasn’t done anything with the title (not his fault as that’s what’s going to happen in a division with no stories and almost no interesting characters) since he won it months ago.

Earlier this week, Cole sat down with Nathan Jones, who has paid his dues and done his time so he’s ready to start in WWE. He wants to be WWE Champion but first (with his head shaking) he has business with the biggest dog in the yard. Jones grabs Cole’s throat and says it’s tick or tock. Tick means they’re alive but tock means they’re dead, even if they have all the time in the world.

The gifts are placed in the ring so it’s Undertaker time. Undertaker, looking annoyed at this thing continuing, opens the smaller box (which is nearly as tall as he is) and finds…..a dog. He beats the other one open and finds…..nothing, only to have Big Show come in from behind to attack. Undertaker eats a chokeslam to end the quick beatdown.

Torrie Wilson vs. Nidia

Paddle on a pole. We hit the token wrestling to start as the announcers again speculate on which Diva will be in Playboy. Torrie takes over but has to drop Jamie Noble, only to have Dawn Marie come out for a distraction. Noble powerslams Torrie and Nidia pulls the paddle down to win.

Torrie gets spanked a few times until Funaki makes the save.

Hogan goes looking for Rock but the security won’t let him in Rock’s locker room.

Here’s Hogan in the arena for a chat but Rock comes out for the staredown before he can say anything. Rock has to get some water first but then he’s ready for an apology. From Hogan that is because there have been a lot of rude and disrespectful things in recent weeks. The ROCKY SUCKS chants come back from the dead as Rock brings up the Rock-a-Jabroni line.

Based on that, Hogan needs to know his role and….and shut his mouth. A year ago, Hogan was nothing until Rock turned him into something again. Hulk refuses to apologize and thanks the fans for being there for him. Rock brings up Wrestlemania, which Hogan probably doesn’t remember after the beating Rock gave him. He tries to do the MILLIONS line but receives near silence for his efforts.

Rock does Hogan’s catchphrase but cuts him off before the shirt can be torn. A handshake is offered but Rock spits at Hogan and bails. More great stuff from Rock here with one important note: Rock kept walking around in circles instead of standing still like he would at the top of his powers. It made him seem more nervous because he didn’t have the people behind him, which is the kind of thing that most people aren’t going to add in.

No Way Out rundown.

Video on the end of last week’s show with Lesnar beating up John Cena to get to Kurt Angle.

Cena raps a threat to Lesnar and declares war on him.

Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle

Oh of course not. Angle says there’s a stipulation to this so we’ll make it a gauntlet match instead.

Brock Lesnar vs. Team Angle

Lesnar throws Haas around to start before getting caught in a release German suplex. There’s almost no effect though as Lesnar tosses him a few more times before hitting the backbreaker into the F5 for a quick pin. Little more than a squash. Angle fires up Shelton for the second match as we take a break.

We’re joined in progress with Brock sending Shelton flying off a butterfly suplex. Another suplex has Angle hyperventilating but Shelton gets in a few kicks to the face to take over. It’s off to the arm with a flying armbar and then a cross armbreaker. Brock reverses into a powerbomb for the break as Angle is biting his fingernails.

We hit the belly to belly suplexes and Kurt’s distraction completely fails. A spinning belly to back suplex (called an Angle Slam) finishes Shelton and it’s time for Kurt to panic. Heyman’s pep talk gets Kurt inside for the bell, followed almost immediately by Heyman hitting Brock with a chair for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was an angle disguised as a match and there’s nothing wrong with that, bait and switch left aside. The ending helps set up Angle vs. Lesnar at Wrestlemania, but we’ve still got a six man tag on Sunday and this didn’t do much for that match. The other problem is the crowd, who won’t be happy no matter what happens because it’s not the match they were expecting. WWE is doing that far too often anymore and it’s very frustrating.

Angle saves Heyman from an F5 and it’s Team Angle with the big beatdown. Edge and Benoit make the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Rock helps a lot but that’s all this show had going for it. So much of this show was spent on short segments and matches that add nothing to the show, but even worse do nothing for the pay per view. The ending with Edge and Benoit felt very tacked on as well and that’s not a good thing for a go home show. Not a good episode, though Rock’s stuff is worth seeing.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Main Event – July 20, 2017: Finding Their Footing

Main Event
Date: July 20, 2017
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Corey Graves

I’m going to go on a limb here and assume that we’ll be hearing a lot about the Kurt Angle/Jason Jordan story. On top of that, I’m digging this whole grab bag approach to who might show up around here. It’s such a nice change of pace and something that makes the show so much easier to sit through. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

R-Truth vs. Curt Hawkins

Hawkins is rather perplexed by Truth’s gyrating and dancing, which Joseph attributes to Dance Dance Revolution. Curt takes him down and hammers away before we’re in an early chinlock. Truth fights up with the clothesline and gordbuster, followed by the Lie Detector for the pin at 4:47.

Rating: D. This was actually weaker than most Main Event openers, which is covering a lot of ground. Truth is still a fun act and Hawkins is the kind of guy who can lose over and over like this and still be fine. Nothing to see here as far as wrestling goes but then again, this is the working definition of a dark match and it was fine in that regard.

From Raw.

Here’s Enzo Amore for a chat. He knows he lost at Great Balls of Fire but he knows you have to keep getting up if you believe in what you’re fighting for. He’s not done with Big Cass, who may be much bigger and stronger but Enzo has the heart. Cass threw him fourteen feet to the floor but Enzo got back up and kept going. They were friends for years with Enzo making sure Cass stuck with it because Cass is S-A-W-F-T like a big comfy couch.

Cue Cass to chase Enzo off because Enzo says he’s smarter than the average bear. Enzo grabs a seat in the crowd with an Enzo fan to watch this. Cue Big Show for a brawl but Cass kicks him in the face. The fight is on with Show getting the better of it via a hard chop to the chest. Cass sends him into the post twice in a row though and Show’s ribs are hurt. Kicks to the ribs make them even worse and Show is down. Enzo tries to come in and eats a big boot for his efforts.

From Monday again.

Here’s Angle for the announcement. Everyone is supporting him in this decision and he’s glad to get this off his chest. When he was in college he was dating a woman but then they broke up. Then nine months later, she had a child, which Kurt didn’t find out until recently. It turns out that the kid was a very talented athlete who had several offers to play various sports.

Instead he went to college and earned a degree, followed by pursuing a career in professional wrestling. That son is now a WWE superstar and the newest member of the Raw roster. His name is……Jason Jordan! Jason comes out and hugs Kurt several times but nothing is said.

Heath Slater/Rhyno vs. Anderson and Gallows

Rhyno and Anderson get things going with Karl being run over with a shoulder. Gallows comes in and eats a middle rope shoulder before it’s off to Slater….who gets his head kicked off. Back from a break with Slater still in trouble (as always) via some stomping, followed by a chinlock. A leg lariat allows the hot tag to Rhyno as house is cleaned. Slater gets pulled off the apron though and Rhyno takes a kick to the back of the head. The Magic Killer puts Rhyno away at 9:49.

Rating: D+. Another match with nothing to see here but the fans loved Slater and Rhyno, as they always do. Sometimes you have a fun act like those two and they’re going to get a reaction no matter what they’re doing. Anderson and Gallows are starting to find their footing, which I assure you has nothing to do with getting rid of the horrible comedy segments.

From Raw one more time.

Samoa Joe vs. Roman Reigns

Winner gets Lesnar at Summerslam. They trade shoulders to start and it’s Joe being knocked outside as we take an early break. Back with Joe hitting his enziguri in the corner and we’re off to the neck crank. That eats up a long time until Reigns fights up and hits a running clothesline for two. That’s some of Reigns’ only significant offense so far as this has been almost all Joe in the first half.

They head outside with Joe clotheslining him so hard that Reigns lands on the apron. Reigns hits a clothesline of his own to put both guys down as we take another break. Back with Joe talking trash until Reigns comes back with a Samoan drop. One heck of a boot to the face drops Joe again but he’s right back up and blocking a belly to back suplex.

The Rock Bottom is broken up and there’s the Superman Punch for two. With both guys down, cue the returning Braun Strowman to pull Joe out and beat up Reigns for the no contest (though it should be a DQ victory for Joe, who was the first one to be touched) at about 19:00.

Rating: B-. This was definitely the kind of match where they were filling in time until the storyline ending and there’s nothing wrong with that. Neither guy was pinned and it was pretty even when Strowman came in. This is likely setting up what could be a very interesting four way at Summerslam and I’m ok with that.

Reigns and Joe beat on Strowman but both eventually fall victim to powerslams.

Overall Rating: D+. The wrestling drags this one down a good bit as the Raw segments were only ok at best. It’s odd as Monday’s show was a lot more entertaining than this but trimming it down didn’t do it any favors for once. Hopefully things pick up as we get closer to Summerslam. Watchable enough show but it’s more skippable than usual.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




New Column: Double Angles

It’s not like there’s anything else to talk about.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-double-angles/




Monday Night Raw – July 17, 2017: The Wrestling Angles

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 17, 2017
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T.

For the first time in a good while we have a major announcement to look forward to. This week will see the reveal of whatever Kurt Angle’s big secret has been and there’s going to be someone here with him to reveal it. There are multiple rumors floating around about what it could be and it should be interesting to see which, if any, is accurate. Let’s get to it.

Long recap of the Angle situation.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Dean Ambrose with a chair to open things up. He goes off about his issues with Miz but here’s Seth Rollins to interrupt. Seth talks about everything he’s done with Miz as of late but Dean says he doesn’t want anyone’s help. Rollins’ question is if Ambrose will be in his way or by his side.

Dean talks about Rollins breaking up the Shield and how they were brothers. Seth actually apologizes for what he did, which he never did before. While it’s true that he turned on Ambrose and Roman Reigns, Seth remembers tearing into Ambrose inside the Cell. He still wants to have Dean with him but Ambrose isn’t convinced.

Seth has an idea though and turns his back on Dean, saying take as many shots with the chair as you need. Ambrose can’t do it so here are Miz and the Miztourage to interrupt. Miz laughs this off because neither of them have what it takes to do this on their own. The fight is on and the numbers get the better of Rollins and Ambrose. A series of chair shots leaves our heroes laying.

Miz and company leave in a hurry.

Bayley vs. Alexa Bliss

Non-title. Bliss slaps her in the face to start and gets driven into the corner for some aggressive stomping to send Bliss to the apron. Cue Nia Jax though and we take a break. Back with Bliss stomping away but missing a charge to send her outside. A Stunner over the ropes slows Bliss down (those Steve Austin show appearances paid off) and the top rope elbow makes things even worse. Bayley chases her to the floor but Jax cuts her off, allowing Bliss to take over. Cue Sasha to take out Jax though and it’s the Bayley to Belly to pin Bliss at 8:13.

Rating: C. I’m assuming we’re setting up Bayley vs. Banks for the #1 contenderdship or one of their beloved four ways because screw storytelling for a one on one match when you can just throw them all together. Bayley is being rebuilt but I wish they could come up with a way to do it besides pinning Bliss in back to back weeks.

Graves gets a text and bails.

Clip from the ESPY’s with a wrestling fan winning an award for courage. Stephanie also received an award at the Sports Humanitarian Awards. Guess which speech gets more time.

Video on Roman Reigns.

Angle is panicking and isn’t sure if he should do this. Graves says do it because it’s going to get out somehow anyway. That seems to convince Kurt.

We recap Akira Tozawa vs. Neville.

Titus O’Neil gives Titus Worldwide a pep talk. Ariya Daivari, who was in a match with Tozawa last week, comes in and challenges him for a rematch later tonight.

Brian Kendrick/Drew Gulak vs. Jack Gallagher/Mustafa Ali

Kendrick bails away from Gallagher to start so we’ll go with Drew instead. Jack works on the knees but Drew pops up and knocks Ali off the apron. One heck of a chop drops Gallagher for two but the headbutt puts Kendrick down. It’s off to Ali for the inverted 450 and the pin at 2:35.

Here’s Enzo Amore for a chat. He knows he lost at Great Balls of Fire but he knows you have to keep getting up if you believe in what you’re fighting for. He’s not done with Big Cass, who may be much bigger and stronger but Enzo has the heart. Cass threw him fourteen feet to the floor but Enzo got back up and kept going. They were friends for years with Enzo making sure Cass stuck with it because Cass is S-A-W-F-T like a big comfy couch.

Cue Cass to chase Enzo off because Enzo says he’s smarter than the average bear. Enzo grabs a seat in the crowd with an Enzo fan to watch this. Cue Big Show for a brawl but Cass kicks him in the face. The fight is on with Show getting the better of it via a hard chop to the chest. Cass sends him into the post twice in a row though and Show’s ribs are hurt. Kicks to the ribs make them even worse and Show is down. Enzo tries to come in and eats a big boot for his efforts. This was another well done Cass segment as I’m very glad they didn’t have Show chase him off. Let Cass look dominant and then win the match. It’s that simple.

Reigns says tonight is all that matters because he wants Lesnar at Summerslam.

Ambrose and Rollins are banged up but still want Miz and company. Angle comes in and offers them a tag match with any two of the three next week. Dean says let’s just make it all three in a handicap match so Angle agrees.

Elias Samson is ready to sing about Nashville but Finn Balor cuts him off.

Finn Balor vs. Elias Samson

Cole tells a story about Elias following NXT around Florida and eventually getting arrested for loitering, only to have Dusty Rhodes bail him out. Graves is of course livid about the story, only to have Elias slam Balor into the corner to cut them off. Balor fights up without too much effort but gets caught in a sitout powerbomb for two. Finn comes back again and takes it outside for the running dropkick into the barricade, only to have Samson BLAST him with the guitar for the DQ at 5:05.

Rating: D+. This was more of an angle than a match though I still wonder why Balor is stuck with Samson. Elias has been better than I was expecting but sweet goodness Balor is a former World Champion and one of the best talents on the roster. Why is he stuck in this midcard feud instead of fighting for the Intercontinental Title at worst?

Bray Wyatt pops up on screen to say Balor didn’t see that coming. Wyatt feels the need to hurt Balor and brings up the Irish mythology. Bray isn’t just a myth though and promises to bring his full powers against Finn. He’ll even enjoy it.

Video on Samoa Joe.

Angle is on the phone when Bayley and Sasha come in, both wanting to fight Bliss at Summerslam. Kurt makes a #1 contenders match between the two of them for next week.

The announcers preview Battleground.

We look back at the Revival attacking the Hardys last week.

Revival attacked the Hardys just because they’re the Hardys. No one has flipped around more than the Hardys so it’s time to use some fists on them.

Akira Tozawa vs. Ariya Daivari

The ropes are still red here. Daivari dedicates this match to an Iranian gold medalist from the 2016 Olympics. Tozawa starts fast but bangs up his shoulder to give Daivari a target. The shoulder is sent hard into the corner and Daivari talks a lot of trash, only to get caught in a hurricanrana. A Codebreaker to the arm gives Daivari two and the shoulder goes into the corner again. That’s enough for Titus who tells the referee to stop it at 2:56.

Tozawa is livid and says Titus never cared about him.

Here’s Angle for the announcement. Everyone is supporting him in this decision and he’s glad to get this off his chest. When he was in college he was dating a woman but then they broke up. Then nine months later, she had a child, which Kurt didn’t find out until recently. It turns out that the kid was a very talented athlete who had several offers to play various sports.

Instead he went to college and earned a degree, followed by pursuing a career in professional wrestling. That son is now a WWE superstar and the newest member of the Raw roster. His name is……Jason Jordan! Jason comes out and hugs Kurt several times but nothing is said.

Revival vs. Hardy Boyz

It’s a brawl to start with Revival bailing to the floor before the bell. We officially get going with Matt headlocking Dawson down, only to get pummeled by Wilder. Matt does his ten rams into each buckle and everything breaks down with the Hardys cleaning house again. They even bust out the Spin Cycle (picking up someone by the arms and legs from the mat and flipping them from their face onto their back), which Booker calls new, though it’s really just brought out of mothballs.

Back from a break with Matt in trouble and Dawson putting on a standing leglock. Wilder gets in some leg work of his own but Dawson is kicked outside, allowing the hot tag to Jeff. A quick splash gets two but Matt has to save his brother from the Shatter Machine. The Twisting Stunner gives Jeff two more, only to have Wilder crotch him to break up the Swanton. Dawson grabs a rollup and jeans for the pin at 13:21.

Rating: C+. The right team won and that’s what matters more than anything else. The Hardys don’t need to win much of anything at this point so having them put over a team like the Revival is best for everyone involved. On top of that it was a good match and that’s just scratching Revival’s surface.

Samoa Joe gives a very intense interview about being ready to beat Roman Reigns again because it gives him another shot at Brock.

Video on a Special Olympian who is in the front row.

Tozawa is in Titus’ locker room and repeats that he didn’t quit. Titus can accept Tozawa being mad at him but Tozawa needs to understand that Titus was looking out for his future. Tozawa seems to accept it but wants a match with Daivari tomorrow night on 205 Live.

Samoa Joe vs. Roman Reigns

Winner gets Lesnar at Summerslam. They trade shoulders to start and it’s Joe being knocked outside as we take an early break. Back with Joe hitting his enziguri in the corner and we’re off to the neck crank. That eats up a long time until Reigns fights up and hits a running clothesline for two. That’s some of Reigns’ only significant offense so far as this has been almost all Joe in the first half.

They head outside with Joe clotheslining him so hard that Reigns lands on the apron. Reigns hits a clothesline of his own to put both guys down as we take another break. Back with Joe talking trash until Reigns comes back with a Samoan drop. One heck of a boot to the face drops Joe again but he’s right back up and blocking a belly to back suplex.

The Rock Bottom is broken up and there’s the Superman Punch for two. With both guys down, cue the returning Braun Strowman to pull Joe out and beat up Reigns for the no contest (though it should be a DQ victory for Joe, who was the first one to be touched) at about 19:00.

Rating: B-. This was definitely the kind of match where they were filling in time until the storyline ending and there’s nothing wrong with that. Neither guy was pinned and it was pretty even when Strowman came in. This is likely setting up what could be a very interesting four way at Summerslam and I’m ok with that.

Reigns and Joe beat on Strowman but both eventually fall victim to powerslams.

Overall Rating: C+. I dug this episode more than most weeks and that’s a good sign. The Angle announcement felt short but big while the main event felt big but long and ultimately meaningless given how things ended. I still liked the show tonight though, which isn’t something I get to say that often. If nothing else they’ve announced THREE matches for next week, which might be a modern day record. Nice show here and better than several they’ve done in recent weeks.

Results

Bayley b. Alexa Bliss – Bayley to Belly

Jack Gallagher/Mustafa Ali b. Brian Kendrick/Drew Gulak – Inverted 450 to Kendrick

Finn Balor b. Elias Samson via DQ when Samson hit him with a guitar

Ariya Daivari b. Akira Tozawa via referee stoppage

Revival b. Hardy Boyz – Rollup with a handful of jeans

Roman Reigns vs. Samoa Joe went to a no contest when Braun Strowman interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – February 13, 2003: They Have a Way Out

Smackdown
Date: February 13, 2003
Location: Centennial Garden, Bakersfield, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re less than two weeks away from No Way Out and you can see most of the card from here. The big story coming out of last week is Team Angle, now with a title for each, seemingly getting ready to face Edge/Chris Benoit/Brock Lesnar. Other than that there’s always Rock vs. Hulk Hogan so let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

There’s another crate addressed to Undertaker.

Charlie Haas vs. Edge

Haas has Paul Heyman with him. Edge takes him down into an armbar to start so Charlie hammers away in the corner as they’re doing the opposite of what you would probably expect. Something close to an exploder suplex gives Charlie two, followed by a northern lights suplex for the same.

A double arm crank keeps Edge in trouble for a bit before he pops up with his own suplex to drop Charlie. An enziguri stuns Charlie again and the Edge-O-Matic gets two. Edge gets creative with something like a DDT fisherman’s suplex (basically a fisherman’s suplex without wrapping Haas’ arm around his neck first) for two but Heyman gets on the apron. The spear drops him but Charlie grabs a rollup for the pin.

Rating: C. The ending hurt it a good bit but they’re doing a great job of building up Team Angle. They win more often than not and it keeps them from looking weak. Today, a team like them would probably be jobbing every other week in singles matches while WWE blamed them for their horrible work or something like that.

Nathan Jones will be on Smackdown. Not for long that is but he’ll be here.

Angle is in Stephanie’s office when she comes in. After complimenting her new hair, Angle hands her a rose in a fairly random bit of niceness. He actually goes to kiss her when Brock Lesnar comes in. The staredown ensues so Stephanie announces the six man tag for No Way Out. Angle takes the rose back.

Rikishi vs. Nunzio

Rematch from last week when Nunzio threatened mob connections. Nunzio dives at him before the bell but here are Chuck Palumbo and Johnny the Bull to beat Rikishi down. No match.

Rey Mysterio vs. Matt Hardy

Matt, who always gets more Valentine’s Day cards than his brother, doesn’t send flowers and only gets chocolates, is down from 230lbs to 222lbs, putting him near the cruiserweight limit of 220. Matt is wrestling in a rubber suit to burn more weight in a creative idea. The extra gear seems to mess with him a bit though as he can’t keep up with Rey and gets taken out of the corner with an ankle scissors. A missed charge sends Rey outside though and Shannon Moore gets in a few stomps of his own.

Matt gets two off a gutwrench suplex as Cole suggests Tazz get in one of those rubber suits. Tazz: “Nah Cole I just take a bunch of Stacker II (sponsor at the time)”. A surfboard with Matt’s boot between Rey’s shoulders doesn’t get him very far so it’s off to a torture rack for a bit better result.

Matt seems to be getting winded though and it’s a spring seated senton for no cover. Rey gets two off a springboard split legged moonsault but dives into a Side Effect for the same. Matt is almost completely gassed though and falls to his knees, right into 619 position. The West Coast Pop puts Matt away.

Rating: C+. I like this idea and it gives Matt something to do, which is more than he’s had going on in a long time. If nothing else he’s still good with the comedy and this is a good way for him to showcase those skills. That being said, his Cruiserweight Title shot (providing he loses the weight) has already been announced so he shouldn’t be losing here.

Matt, dripping with sweat, promises to win the title at No Way Out.

We look back at Brian Kendrick’s time in WWE to date.

Kendrick is complaining about his bad luck to Sean O’Haire when Bill DeMott comes up. DeMott doesn’t want to hear about it and beats Kendrick up until O’Haire gets in Bill’s face for the save.

Chris Benoit vs. A-Train

A-Train tries to take Benoit into the corner to intimidate him. Why he thinks this would work isn’t clear and he has to get to the ropes to avoid the Crossface. A-Train slams him down on the ribs and drops an elbow for good measure. A modified Gory Stretch (with a reverse full nelson instead of pulling on the chin) sets up a modified Widow’s Peak. A-Train gets two off a Vader Bomb but Benoit slips out of the torture rack. Some good looking German suplexes (Benoit got him WAY up) have A-Train reeling but the Swan Dive misses. The bicycle kick gets two and it’s time for the Derailer, only to have Benoit reverse into the Crossface for the tap.

Rating: C. They were beating the heck out of each other here but Benoit was the right choice to carry things as A-Train did all of his power offense. This also helps Benoit going into the pay per view as he’s beating people he should beat. A-Train’s push continues to be all over the place but at least he’s not beating people he shouldn’t be.

The Girls Gone Wild boss comes up to Torrie Wilson to offer her a spot on his pay per view special. Torrie agrees, promising to get very wild.

We recap Big Show attacking Undertaker four months ago.

Heyman is in the ring with the crate and hopes Undertaker won’t destroy this present like he did to the man of love last week. Cue Undertaker with Heyman immediately looking nervous. Heyman leaves in a hurry and it’s…..Kanyon in the box. For some reason he’s dressed as Boy George and belts out a little Culture Club. Kanyon: “WHO BETTER THAN KANYON???” Tazz: “That guy looks familiar!” Kanyon gets in some offense but the beatdown is on in a hurry. Undertaker beats on him with a chair as Heyman begs for mercy.

Matt is wearing himself out on an exercise bike to lose more weight.

Funaki is with John Cena and tries to look like a rapper. Cena schools him a bit.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Shelton Benjamin

Joined in progress with Eddie getting out of a top wristlock and snapmaring him to the mat. Back up and a powerslam gives Shelton two, followed by an electric chair for the same. They’re certainly working the amateur stuff here, which is easily the best idea for both of them at this point. Shelton grabs a chinlock for a bit, followed by a very high backdrop for two. A belly to belly gives Eddie two in some of his first significant offense. They head to the corner with Eddie getting in a sunset bomb but missing the frog splash. Shelton is right back up with the Dragon Whip for the clean pin.

Rating: B. That’s quite the performance from someone who has such little main roster experience. Eddie helped a lot of course and it was very nice to see Shelton get in a ton of offense like this. It’s not like Eddie is going to lose anything from this match while Shelton gets a big rub. Good stuff.

LONG video on Rock vs. Hogan, recapping their feud from last year and show of respect after the showdown at Wrestlemania. Now they’re fighting again because Hogan is feuding with Vince, who brought Rock back for the match. In other words, the Rock is now just a soldier in Vince’s army against Hogan, who he’s fighting with because…..I have no idea. This is missing from the WWE Network for some reason.

Hugh Hefner tells us that a WWE Diva will be in Playboy soon.

Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie

Bra and panties match with a bunch of Valentine’s Day stuff in the ring. During the entrances, Tazz thinks it’s going to be Stephanie in Playboy. That might not be the best idea in 2003. Dawn, who is wrestling in a sports bra in the first place, jumps her from behind and takes the shirt off to choke away. Torrie dropkicks her to the floor and gets Dawn’s top off, revealing a smaller bra. Dawn’s pants come halfway down before they try some rollups for the sake of camera shots.

Rating: D-. I can’t call them failures based on how they looked but sweet goodness these things do not hold up well. If nothing else it feels out of place when you have Team Angle and Eddie Guerrero on the show, making this quite the downgrade. They’re embarrassing as a wrestling fan and, given that Torrie would be in Playboy in a few months, would become even more obsolete in a hurry.

Nidia runs in post match but Torrie beats both heels down, gets Nidia’s pants off and spanks her a bit.

Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena

Brock leaves a chair out for Angle in case he’d like to come to ringside. Cena’s rap isn’t his best work as he calls Lesnar muscular and stupid. Brock beats him down in a hurry and gets in a hard backbreaker. The belly to belly suplex sends Cena out to the floor and Lesnar does it again for good measure. Brock rips off a turnbuckle pad for no apparent reason and Cena blasts him with the chain for two.

Cena grabs a rear naked choke of all things and even holds on despite being rammed hard into the buckle. Since that doesn’t work, Brock picks him up and rams him into two buckles for the break instead. Brock unloads with shoulders to the ribs in the corner and the third belly to belly (so it happened back then too). The F5 is enough for the pin.

Rating: B-. These two have always had a chemistry together and they’re always entertaining to watch as a result. Lesnar was way ahead of Cena at this point but you could see the potential in Cena starting to come out. The match was competitive and Cena got to show off a bit, which he needs at this point.

Post match Lesnar calls Angle out because he wants to do this right now. With Kurt not coming, Lesnar F5’s Cena into the post. We cut to Kurt in the back, eventually getting sick of this and coming out to the arena. Post break and here’s the champ to say they’ll give the fans the best match ever. Angle gets in Brock’s face but says not tonight. Bakersfield doesn’t deserve it and he has a sinus infection. Angle is willing to do it next week so Brock agrees before taking Angle down with a clothesline. Brock loads up the F5 into the post but has to deal with Team Angle. Lesnar stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a solid wrestling show for the most part, assuming you ignore the women’s stuff. No Way Out is looking hit or miss from the Smackdown side but at least we have the good TV leading up. I’m sure the fact that Hogan wasn’t on the show had nothing to do with the quality going up either. That match is really starting to stick out as a bad idea, though Scott Steiner vs. HHH will make sure it’s not the worst thing on the pay per view. It’s a good Smackdown this week though and that’s always welcome.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/


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New Column: What’s Your Angle Kurt?

Looking at what is on the other end of those texts and what I’d like to see as the reveal.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-whats-angle-kurt/




Smackdown – February 6, 2003: Ignore the Man and LOOK AT THE TONGUE!

Smackdown
Date: February 6, 2003
Location: First Union Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

No Way Out is creeping closer and it’s pretty clear that Hulk Hogan vs. the Rock is the main event, even if the big match on the horizon is Hogan vs. Vince McMahon. Other than that though we have Team Angle gearing up to face Los Guerreros for the Tag Team Titles, which should be a lot of fun. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

There’s a crane in the arena and a big gift from Big Show, which has Undertaker’s name on it. Last time I remember seeing one of those things it was Cactus Jack so hopefully it’s more of the same.

Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

Mysterio looks at the package on the way in. Is your name Undertaker Rey? Then why are you looking at it? Quit being greedy. Jamie does the same but that’s more acceptable since he’s a poor West Virginian and didn’t get many presents growing up. They run the ropes before awkwardly colliding with Jamie getting the better of it. A gutbuster gives Jamie two and we hit an early abdominal stretch.

Rey pops up and hits a spinning springboard crossbody for two of his own. Nidia pulls Rey off the apron but Rey is right back up for the 619 a few seconds later. That’s broken up by Nidia as well but an enziguri sets up the double 619 on both villains. Tazz: “TWELVE THIRTY EIGHT!” The West Coast Pop puts Jamie away.

Rating: D+. Just a match here as Rey gets some momentum back after getting crushed by A-Train. It would seem that they’re saving his Cruiserweight Title win for a major moment, though putting him in that nothing division would seem like a huge downgrade. The title can barely get five minutes a week and we’re supposed to buy Rey, who was going toe to toe with Angle just a few weeks ago, not being able to beat some of the talent down there?

Rock joins us via satellite and rips on Philadelphia and its cheese steaks before saying it’s because he’s lactose intolerant. He’ll take some Tampa Bay Tofu instead (Tampa recently eliminated the Philadelphia Eagles from the NFL Playoffs) but first let’s hear them chanting his names. They boo instead, because Rock is one of the best heels in wrestling when he wants to be.

Rock is cool with being booed because he knows he can electrify like no other. After mentioning Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb, Rock says there’s one person Philadelphia never turned on: Hulk Hogan. After talking about a phone number Hogan can call to get a whipping, Rock wraps it up. This is still tweener stuff but when Rock turns on the full on heel push, it’s going to be amazing.

Rikishi vs. Nunzio

Nunzio goes straight after him to start and gets superkicked for his efforts. The running splash in the corner sets up the Rump Shaker for the fast pin. Squash.

Rikishi starts dancing but Nunzio says cut it out because he’s got friends. As I’ve said time after time: stop trying to start angles with people who just got beat in a minute and a half. It makes it really hard to care and I don’t know why wrestling companies think it’s a good idea.

Here’s Heyman to order the gift brought to the ring. Post break Heyman says Big Show isn’t here tonight but he’d like Undertaker to come out here and get his gift. Undertaker comes out and Heyman bails, leaving the gift to be opened to reveal….Brother Love. With the annoying voice sounding exactly the same, Love talks about a message of forgiveness to Big Show. Love brings up their history and says if Undertaker remembers anything from their original time together. Undertaker chokeslams and Tombstones him in short order. Good little cameo here and it didn’t overstay its welcome as so many others do.

Hogan is here and runs into Brock Lesnar, who he’s all cool with all of a sudden.

Matt Hardy vs. Billy Kidman

Non-title though Matt has a TV/DVD player in his car and usually exceeds the speed limit. Kidman goes after Shannon Moore and walks into an early Side Effect. A legdrop gets two but Kidman is back up with a dropkick and a Sky High for two of his own. Kidman heads up top but dives into a Twist of Fate attempt, only to counter it into a rollup for the pin on Hardy. Too short to rate but energetic while it lasted.

Matt promises to drop ten pounds and take Kidman’s most cherished possession. Torrie Wilson?

Kurt Angle tells his team to fly like an eagle. Kurt: “A real eagle. Not the Philadelphia Eagles.” We get the idea already.

Tag Team Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Team Angle

Eddie and Chavo are defending and it’s just Heyman with Team Angle instead of Kurt. Chavo and Benjamin start things off with the former getting in way over his head in a technical sequence. It’s off to Eddie instead and a dropkick knocks Haas down so Chavo can get two.

Benjamin comes back in and eats a clothesline before getting choked in the corner. Charlie gets drawn in so the champs can crotch Benjamin against the post, bugging Shelton’s eyes out of his head. Shelton finally fights out of a chinlock and takes Eddie into the corner, only to have Eddie whipped into Chavo for a double knockdown. Another collision sends Chavo outside in a heap and we take a break.

Back with Chavo in trouble and Haas dropping some rapid fire elbows for two. The jump over Haas onto Chavo’s back gives Shelton two more but Eddie breaks up a second attempt. Everything breaks down and Chavo DDTs both champions, allowing the hot tag to Eddie. Three Amigos get two on Charlie and it’s an old school Powerplex with Shelton making a save. Charlie German suplexes Eddie but gets caught in a sunset bomb for another near fall. Eddie shoves Shelton off the top and hits the frog splash but Benjamin isn’t legal. The confusion lets Charlie roll Eddie up for the pin and the titles.

Rating: B. I rather like the fact that Team Angle won the belts clean. Yeah it was a bit of a confusing ending but it was completely within the rules as Eddie was the one covering the wrong man. Chavo and Eddie’s antics alone will keep them over so Team Angle can get a lot more out of the titles, especially since they’re so new.

Heyman seems more excited than the new champions.

Here’s Hogan to respond to Rock but before his music even quits playing though, Rock comes on screen to interrupt again. Hogan calls Rock out for not being here in Philadelphia but Rock tells him to get to the WELL LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING BROTHER because everything else is just meaningless.

Hogan talks about Rock being lucky that he’s nowhere near Philadelphia but hang on again. It turns out that Rock has to leave because the tofu is ready. Hogan needs to get to the point already but Rock wants Hulk to remind him to give him a beating at No Way Out, if you smell (Rock: “LOOK AT THE TONGUE! LOOK AT THE TONGUE!”) what he’s cooking.

Rock leaves so Hogan goes on a rant about Vince thinking Hulkamania is on life support because he’s scared to face Hulk one on one. He dubs Rock as the Rock-a-Jabroni (egads) and promises that the millions and millions of Hulkamaniacs are going to run wild on Rock at No Way Out. As you might have guessed, Rock was entertaining because he was mixing things up while Hogan was one of the two same promos he’s cut for about five years at this point.

The locker room is watching Hogan talk in the back when Sean O’Haire comes in to talk to Brian Kendrick. O’Haire thinks Kendrick should streak to get attention and Brian thinks it’s a good idea. He puts on a scarf (reference to a commercial at the time) and thankfully we go to a break.

A-Train vs. Shannon Moore

Kendrick runs in without anything on, dances around, runs away from the referee and sprints through the crowd. A-Train wins in about forty five seconds with the Train Wreck.

Kendrick comes back until referees corner him, only to have Brian dive underneath the ring and escape to the back.

During the break, Kendrick ran into Stephanie’s office so size jokes can be made. As usual, there was no reason to have Stephanie here other than for the sake of her getting screen time.

Here’s John Cena to call out Lesnar for no logical reason. Cena insults Lesnar’s intelligence and says Brock can have the next big thing if Cena takes his pants off.

Benoit talks about how amazing the ovation he received in Boston was, only to have Angle come in. Angle says the title and gold medal are his wife and children so no one is taking them away.

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

Angle’s wife isn’t on the line. Benoit armdrags him into an armbar and gets two off a snap suplex. Angle sends Chris outside and Heyman actually runs him over in a rare sight. Back in and we hit a chinlock with a bodyscissors. A belly to back suplex gets two but Benoit makes a quick comeback with a clothesline and backdrop. The Crossface goes on but Angle reverses into a cradle to escape.

The Angle Slam is countered into a Crossface on the other arm as the crowd is really not reacting to any of this. Angle can’t use an ankle lock to escape but he gets to the ropes for a break. Kurt is back up with a buckle bomb of all things, only to get thrown down with a release German suplex. A bloody Benoit gets two but misses the Swan Dive to get us back to even. Benoit’s headlock is countered into the Angle Slam for the VERY sudden pin. Maybe they went home fast because of the cut?

Rating: B. Well that was quick. The match ran about ten minutes and felt like it needed another five when it just ended. Benoit certainly didn’t have the same fire out there but you’re only going to get so much with a limited time on a run of the mill TV show. Even on a bad night these two are going to be good though, so it’s hard to complain much.

Post match Team Angle comes in, only to have Edge and Lesnar make the save to end the show. Sounds like a six man.

Overall Rating: C+. The two matches involving Kurt/Team Angle were both good but it’s a barren wasteland outside of them. The only things coming into my mind are Kendrick streaking, Matt needing to lose weight and Rock shouting LOOK AT THE TONGUE. As has been mentioned many times, this show (and its counterpart) really need something for the midcard to do and it’s becoming clear that there was no need to get rid of the Intercontinental and US Titles. Just bring them back already and let the show improve because of it. The good matches carry this but good night it would have been bad without them.

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Smackdown – January 30, 2003: Undertaker is Cheap

Smackdown
Date: January 30, 2003
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re getting closer to No Way Out and the big story is the return of Hulk Hogan, who showed up last week and punched out Vince McMahon. Other than that we have the far less important story of Brock Lesnar chasing Kurt Angle and the Smackdown World Title. You know, that secondary issue. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of Vince vs. Hogan. Stephanie announcing that she had a surprise last week is included, solely for the purpose of getting Stephanie on TV.

Opening sequence.

A-Train vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio tries a 619 as A-Train gets in but settles for a dropkick off the apron before the bell. A spinning crossbody is easily caught and A-Train hammers away, only to get kicked in the face for his efforts. Rey gets two off a running dropkick but the Derailer cuts him in half for two.

Cole talks out the referee’s birthday because he’s running out of things to talk about less than three minutes into a match. A full nelson with Rey’s legs wrapped around A-Train’s thighs slows him down until Mysterio spins out and gets a DDT. Not that it matters as A-Train hits the bicycle kick and finishes with the Train Wreck (over the shoulder kneeling backbreaker).

Rating: D. I was hoping that last week’s loss in the tag match was the end of A-Train but we’re just lucky enough to get more of him. I mean….have you seen the size of his head? What I want to know though is why he’d use a move called the Train Wreck when he’s the train. Wouldn’t that be something a bit self destructive?

Paul Heyman says Big Show won’t be facing Big Show tonight because Big Show has the night off.

Eddie Guerrero vs. John Cena

Cena cuts a fairly racist rap with almost every Mexican stereotype you can think of. Oh and overweight girls are bad at dodgeball. Eddie slugs him down in the corner and throws Cena outside for some cheating from Chavo. Back in and Cena tosses him into the air for a crash as Tazz compliments his rapping skills. Now it’s Red Dogg getting in a few shots of his own but the fans chant for Eddie anyway. What a double standard.

Cena shows off the power with a delayed vertical suplex and a side slam for two each. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Eddie fights up, only to have Red Dogg grab his foot. The distraction completely fails as Chavo shoves Cena off the top, setting up one of the best looking frog splashes I’ve ever seen for the pin.

Rating: C-. You could see things starting to click for Cena and that’s a very good sign. Couple that with Eddie being at his normal level of awesome and there’s almost a guarantee that it was going to be entertaining. Unfortunately they didn’t have the time to do anything and Dogg isn’t as entertaining as Buchanan, who was fun in a stupid goofy kind of way.

Heyman has an idea and flags down newcomer Brian Kendrick to help him out.

Vince comes in to see Stephanie and talk about the Hogan return last week. She turns it into a discussion of Eric Bischoff trying to bring back Steve Austin. Stephanie: “Your nemesis!” I love how Stephanie has to explain Steve Austin’s connection to Vince McMahon himself because A, Vince might not remember or B, the fans might not remember. She goes on to explain that Hogan is in fact a legend and tell Vince how awesome he was during the Monday Night Wars. Since there’s really nothing to say to that, Vince says he has a surprise for later. This has been the latest version of NO ONE TALKS LIKE THIS.

Shannon Moore vs. Billy Kidman

Non-title. Shannon has Matt Hardy, who thinks that Shannon has an iota of Mattitude and was the longest surviving Smackdown superstar in the Rumble, in his corner. During the entrances we hear about Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie in a Rumble rematch…..on Velocity. Thank goodness they finally took the hint on that one. Kidman gets jumped to start but the threat of a right hand sends Shannon bailing to the floor.

The fans chant WE WANT JEFF as Shannon whips Kidman hard into the corner to set up a chinlock. Kidman fights out of the second chinlock and gets in a jumping elbow to the jaw as things speed up. Something like the Sky High gets two but Shannon hits a running Blockbuster from the side. That just earns him an enziguri and the shooting star gives Kidman the pin.

Rating: C. Shannon was showing some aggression here to play up the idea of having more Mattitude and that’s a good sign for him. He’s certainly not the most intimidating guy in the world so having him be more intense can only do good things for him. Moore always had the in-ring abilities but he needs a strong gimmick to get him anywhere.

Post match Matt lays out Kidman, hopefully giving him a challenger for the title. It would be nice for a change.

Here’s Vince for his surprise. He goes on a long and rather good rant about how Hulkamania is dying and he can’t wait to kill it himself. Hogan can talk about the power of Hulkamania all he wants and wear the red and yellow (Vince: “I still don’t get it.”) but the truth is that Hogan is a bloodsucking bottom feeder who is a manipulating businessman. What Hulk doesn’t want you to know is that Vince created Hogan and Hulkamania itself. That gets Vince to No Way Out, where Hogan will be going one on one with the Rock. Speaking of the Rock, here he is…..via satellite of course.

Rock immediately goes a bit heelish by ripping on Green Bay being way too cold for him to show up. The reality is that Rock doesn’t answer to Vince because he belongs to the people. Rock is going to bring the electricity like he brought at Wrestlemania where records were broken. At No Way Out, you’re going to have the biggest star of all time and on the other hand there’s Hulk Hogan.

When they meet again, Hogan is going to Hulk Up and Rock won’t be able to care less. It’s going to be Wrestlemania all over again with Hogan taking a beating, if you smell what he’s cooking. Rock was sprinkling the heel attitude throughout the promo but was getting cheered anyway. The key here was he didn’t go full blast with it, meaning he’ll be inching into his new attitude instead. You don’t get that enough and it takes someone as good as Rock to really pull it off.

Bill DeMott vs. Rikishi

It’s the rubber match! Why this warranted a second match, let alone a third, is beyond me. Rikishi grabs a headlock as the announcers talk about the Tough Enough match on Raw. DeMott sends him shoulder first into the post and grabs an abdominal stretch. Does that work when there’s so much gut there to pull on? A slam makes the ribs worse but the moonsault is countered with an electric chair. Rikishi superkicks him down and tries a DDT but DeMott grabs the ropes to send Rikishi crashing down. A cover with DeMott laying on the ropes gives him the pin.

Rating: D-. The ending here made things even worse than they would have been on their own. DeMott is going absolutely nowhere as this heel turn is a disaster so far. Having him beat up the cruiserweights was fine enough but you knew he was done as soon as they started having him trade wins with Rikishi of all people. Thankfully this is pretty much it for DeMott, who would have two more matches on Smackdown for the year while being shunted down to Velocity instead.

Undertaker comes out almost immediately after the match with DeMott bailing. After a break, Undertaker is sitting on the steps, saying this is where he’s supposed to say all the things he’s going to do to Big Show. Forget that though because we need to just shut up and fight. It’s Heyman instead though, reminding us that Show isn’t here tonight. Show has a message for Undertaker though and here’s Kendrick on a kid’s bicycle in a singing telegram outfit.

Undertaker has about as much of this as you would expect but tells Kendrick to do whatever he’s supposed to. Kendrick “sings” something about Big Show never doing something (he wasn’t easy to understand) so Undertaker threatens Heyman. Brian actually asks for a tip…..and gets $100! Undertaker has him sing again and the beating is on in a hurry. Naturally Undertaker takes the money back. Well to be fair Kendrick was off key.

Kurt Angle gives his team a pep talk, even quoting Vince Lombardi but making sure to insult the Green Bay Packers to avoid the face reaction. I would list off what Kurt says but I’m too distracted by how sweet those track suits are. The gist of it: win at any costs.

Video on Brock Lesnar, which is basically just an edited version of his talk from last week.

Sean O’Haire tells us to drink and smoke.

Team Angle vs. Edge/Chris Benoit

The winners get a title shot next week and Angle sits in on commentary. Kurt: “They call me Captain Kurt.” Cole: “How’s Mr. Spock?” Benoit takes over on Haas to start and chops away in the corner. Benjamin comes in for a gutbuster because he’s better than Haas. Shelton misses a charge so it’s off to Edge as the pace picks way up. With his team in trouble, Angle gets up on the apron but gets speared right back down. Why Edge spearing the title doesn’t cause him damage isn’t clear but whatever.

The house cleaning continues with Edge missile dropkicking Benjamin for two and we take a break. Back with Benoit stomping on Benjamin and Edge starting in on Charlie’s shoulder. An armbar cuts off Charlie’s comeback but Benoit can’t get the Crossface. Coach Kurt talks Charlie to his feet for a belly to belly though and the Angleites take over.

Shelton starts in on the knee and Charlie works on a leglock. A reverse Figure Four keeps Edge in trouble, much to Edge’s delight. Shelton cannonballs down onto the leg and grabs a regular Figure Four. Benoit comes in and breaks it up by hitting Benjamin in the head, only to have Haas grab a Figure Four of his own.

He’s no Shelton though so Edge gets out and sends him into the corner for the hot tag to Benoit. Chris starts rolling the German suplexes and Swan Dives Shelton for two. The Crossface is broken up and Angle hits Benoit with the title to give Shelton the pin and the title shot.

Rating: B. Good stuff here, like it would have been anything else. Team Angle has taken to the ring very smoothly and it makes for some very entertaining matches. I’m glad they went with the regular team instead of another two man combination who teams together when they need to. Kurt cheating to win is the right move here too as it plays off the speech he gave to them earlier.

Overall Rating: D+. Strong main event aside, there’s not enough here to really get excited about. Hogan vs. Rock should be good but watching stuff like A-Train wreck Mysterio and DeMott vs. Rikishi, followed by Undertaker beating up a guy just trying to make a living isn’t exactly thrilling TV. The talking really hurt things this week and there’s only so much that one really good match can do to counter that.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown – January 23, 2003: And That’s Why He’s Champion

Smackdown
Date: January 23, 2003
Location: Pepsi Arena, Albany, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re past the Royal Rumble and it’s all hands on deck towards Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle for the World Title. Lesnar won the Royal Rumble and Angle successfully defended his title in a masterpiece against Chris Benoit, leaving the two of them as the undisputed top names on the show. Let’s get to it.

Stephanie McMahon announces Undertaker returning tonight, plus the return of another big surprise. The low cut of her top as she leans over a table while saying this would suggest that she’s a face this week.

Opening sequence.

Chris Benoit vs. Charlie Haas

Benoit shoves him into the corner to start but Charlie easily takes him down to get into the technical sequence. Haas’ leglock is countered into an armbar but Charlie reverses that just as easily. You can tell they’re both more comfortable with this style and that makes for a more entertaining match. Charlie hangs onto a hammerlock as the announcers talk about Brock Lesnar being here tonight. It’s always a bit jarring to have that be a normal night instead of a major announcement.

Benoit’s arm goes into the steps and it’s time for more armbars. Chris tries a few rollups but Charlie just goes for the arm again without missing a beat. Benoit fights up with a one arm backdrop and a release German suplex as the arm gives out. The long distance Swan Dive connects but the Crossface doesn’t work. Charlie loads up some suplexes of his own but Benoit reverses into a rollup for the fast pin.

Rating: B-. This was all about the psychology with Benoit not being able to use his normal stuff but suckering the rookie in for the pin at the end. Benoit is still looking like one of the best on the show at this point and I guess I can sit and watch him wrestle this well against Team Angle for a little while longer if I just have to.

Rikishi vs. Bill DeMott

Rematch from last week but DeMott injured his arm in the Rumble. They slug it out to start with DeMott hitting some shoulders to the gut in the corner. The referee tells DeMott to let Rikishi out of the corner. DeMott: “I HAVE TILL FIVE!” Rikishi starts in on the arm and a very hard clothesline drops Bill in a heap. A spinebuster does the same to Rikishi but DeMott hits his arm in the corner. Rikishi’s superkick sets up a Rump Shaker onto the arm (smart) for the pin.

Rating: D+. That should do it for DeMott. I can go for the arm work and sitting on the arm for the pin was a smart way of ending the show. The problem though is having DeMott vs. Rikishi as a feud as neither of them are all that interesting. Also I’m so glad they built DeMott up by having him wreck the cruiserweights, only to lose to Rikishi of all people.

Nathan Jones is still coming.

Big Show chokes Josh Matthews instead of talking about Undertaker.

Matt Hardy gives Shannon Moore a pep talk and sends him into the women’s restroom. Thankfully Matt goes off to see Nunzio instead of following up on the comedy. Nunzio talks about his nephew being like Moore. Sometimes you need to teach people a lesson using the family way. Matt asks Nunzio to give Shannon a Mattitude adjustment.

Tony Chimmel reminds us that Stephanie still has a big announcement as well as Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysteiro later tonight. This is the kind of announcement you would have off camera to announce a dark match instead of showing it on camera. They already showed a Stephanie announcement graphic earlier so why do it this way here? Just for diversity?

Here’s Undertaker, now with the You’re Gonna Pay theme, (I’ve always liked it) for a chat. Since irony doesn’t exist in WWE’s minds, Undertaker talks about how there’s too much talking around here lately. We see a clip of Big Show destroying Big Show a few months back so it’s time for the call out. Here’s Big Show in a suit to say that’s not happening tonight, but he has something for Undertaker.

Undertaker vs. A-Train

The announcers try to figure out the name of A-Train’s chokebomb but drop it when A-Train shoulders Undertaker down. We’re off to the bearhug a minute in but Undertaker slips out and hits his running clothesline. They’re not exactly going out of the safe areas here but I can’t imagine this lasts much longer.

The elbows and legdrop on the apron have A-Train in trouble but the chokeslam is only good for two. A Last Ride attempt is broken up with a backdrop and the Derailer (chokebomb, which they now know the name of) gets two. Undertaker slips off his shoulder though and a dragon sleeper (Taking Care of Business) makes A-Train tap.

Rating: D+. Again, could have been worse as the recently built up heel monsters are falling fast tonight. Undertaker beating A-Train to help build towards a Big Show match isn’t the most thrilling idea but at least….wait what is the positive here? Uh….well the match wasn’t all that bad I guess. Yeah that’s all I’ve got.

Sean O’Haire doesn’t like the government taxing people.

Edge vs. Shelton Benjamin

Edge elbows and leg lariats him down to start and it’s time for the chops in the corner. Shelton just isn’t that much of a striker though so he launches Edge with the first German suplex of the match. Some nice amateur moves take Edge down but he slips out of a slam and grabs the Edge-o-Matic. Shelton is right back on it with a cross arm chinlock for a little while. Edge’s comeback doesn’t take long but the threat of a spear brings Charlie to the apron. The distraction lets Shelton hit the Dragon Whip (that swinging kick to the face) but Edge shrugs it off and gets the spear for the pin.

Rating: C+. Pretty standard match here but Shelton and Charlie still look way beyond their years, at least on the main roster. As soon as they’re allowed to be a regular team, they’re going to be at worst the second best active team on the roster, depending on how well the Guerreros are feeling that night.

Kurt berates his team for the losses. They need to work on their Three I’s. Kurt: “Cripes All Friday!” He tells them both to stay here during his match so they can learn a little something.

Nunzio vs. Shannon Moore

No entrance for either guy and Nunzio takes him to the mat in a hurry. Nunzio sends him shoulder first into the post (way too popular of a target tonight) as Matt seems very pleased with his protege’s destruction. A middle rope Fameasser gives Nunzio two and we hit a figure four necklock for a few moments. Shannon comes back with a running flip neckbreaker for two as a weak ECW chant starts up. A Whisper in the Wind gets one as Shannon but he pulls up to shout to Matt. Shannon’s Twist of Fate is countered into the tornado hammerlock DDT for the pin.

Rating: D. No time to go anywhere but this was much more about the angle than anything else. Shannon and Matt are a funny enough pair with Matt speaking such nonsense and Shannon going along with it like it’s all perfectly logical. Nunzio is a weird character as he’s treated like a tough guy but his second match was a squash loss to DeMott and he’s really small in stature. He’s trying but there are some big issues working against him.

Matt chases Shannon off.

Brock Lesnar talks about having goals in WWE and accomplishing them all. Now he wants to win the World Title at Wrestlemania and F5 Paul Heyman.

Shannon hides in a box, which Matt happens to sit on.

Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle

Non-title and it’s just Heyman with Kurt here. Rey starts fast with the dropkicks but his hurricanrana is countered into one heck of a sitout powerbomb. A nearly spike German suplex gets two and Heyman is busy telling the title how much he loves it. Angle’s front facelock is broken up with a northern lights suplex and an ankle scissors out of the corner sends Angle outside.

The referee won’t let Rey dive so he dives over the referee like a good luchador should. Mysterio drops the dime for two and Angle goes shoulder first into the post to make things even worse. Angle LAUNCHES him with a belly to belly but charges into the drop toehold. He still blocks the 619, only to get caught in the sitout bulldog for two. Rey loads up the West Coast Pop but Angle catches him on his shoulders. A hard drop onto the turnbuckle sets up an electric chair drop for the pin.

Rating: B+. Is Angle capable of doing anything wrong at this point? He’s been on fire lately with an incredible match on Sunday and this great one two days later. Mysterio was certainly game here too and he got to showcase his ample talents as well. Really good match here and one of the better TV matches in a long time for this company.

Angle goes for the ankle lock post match so Edge and Benoit make the save. Running isn’t cool with the Canadians though and Angle takes a beating.

Stephanie won’t tell Funaki what the surprise is but she looks at a Hulk Hogan poster to make sure there’s no doubt.

Back from a break and it is indeed Hogan. Hulk gets a huge reaction and the fans take their sweet time cheering him. As you might expect, Hogan knows exactly how to soak the whole thing in and egg them on even harder. The ovation goes on so long that we take a break and come back with it still going on.

Hogan seems a bit overwhelmed (though you never can tell with him) and admits that the Hulkamaniacs are his life. He’s here to make one announcement: he’s signed a brand new contract but this time it’s going to be the right way with the red and yellow and the fans in his corner. This is going to be the last journey but let this be the greatest of them all.

Cue Vince McMahon though and I think you know where this is going. Vince says Hulkamania is just like Al Wilson: completely dead. Hogan disagrees and wants to fight Vince first. The boss isn’t cool with that (as he shouldn’t be) so Hulk lays him out with a single right hand, FINALLY ending this segment at well over twenty minutes.

Overall Rating: B-. A lot of the talking hurt things here but there’s only so much that can be done to stop a wrestling show like this. Tonight was all about the awesome action with the Smackdown talent being WAY ahead of the Raw counterparts, mainly due to pure in-ring talent alone. This show doesn’t bother with a lot of the stupid stories and goes with people fighting over titles or because they don’t like each other. Sometimes that’s all you need and when you have this level of talent, it’s going to work every time. Stretch some of the matches and cut out some of the talking here and it’s a great show, but as it is, it’s just good.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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