Wrestlemania XVI
Date: April 2, 2000
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 18,034
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

This is also called Wrestlemania 2000 but the purist in me won’t let that happen. This is a step up over last year’s one match show as this year we have a two match show. The main event is a fatal fourway elimination match between HHH, the Rock, Big Show and the one night only returning Mick Foley. The other match is Angle vs. Benoit vs. Jericho in a two fall double title match. You might notice a few multi-man matches there and you’re going to notice a lot of them tonight. There isn’t a single one on one match on the entire card tonight, which might be the only time ever in company history. Let’s get to it.

Lillian Garcia sings the national anthem. I’ve heard her do this live and my goodness can she sing the heck out of that song.

We open with a recap of the previous 15 Wrestlemanias which sounds like it’s narrated by a James Earl Jones impersonator.

Godfather/D’Lo Brown vs. Big Boss Man/Bull Buchanan

Ice-T raps Godfather and Brown to the ring. Apparently it’s pimp or die, which I think might be taking it a bit too far. Buchanan and Brown get things going to prevent us from having a future RTC matchup. D’Lo tries a quick O’Connor Roll but only gets two. Boss Man tries to come in but gets run over by Godfather. Off to Godfather for a clothesline and the spinning legdrop but an elbow misses.

Godfather gets beaten on for a bit but comes back with a hook kick for two. Back to Brown who is almost immediately caught by Buchanan for even more pain. D’Lo pounds on Buchanan in the corner as this is going nowhere so far. Of all people, Bull gets things moving a bit better by climbing the corner for a spinning clothesline. Bull puts him in 619 position and both heels slide under the ropes for a double uppercut.

A clothesline gets two more for Bull and everything breaks down for a few seconds. That goes nowhere so we go back to Buchanan pounding on Brown in the corner. Now we keep the excitement going with a bearhug. Boss Man comes in for some double teaming and does his best to get the fans to care at all.

Brown’s cross body is caught in a backbreaker for two from both guys but as Buchanan goes up, Godfather crotches him down. Brown comes back with a nice top rope rana to put Buchanan down on the mat, allowing for the hot tag to Godfather. House is cleaned and there’s the Ho Train to Boss Man. Bull breaks up the Low Down though, allowing the Boss Man Slam to set up a guillotine legdrop on D’Lo for the pin.

Rating: D+. Who in the world thought this was the right idea for an opening match? They were WAY off base with each other here and the match suffered a lot as a result. This didn’t work on almost any level and on top of all that, the popular team loses. The whole point of an opening is to fire up a crowd, so having one of the most over acts in the company lose was a dumb way to start things off. Just a bad match all around.

HHH and Stephanie talk about how awesome their titles are. She’s Women’s Champion if that wasn’t really clear.

We see a conference with the Hardcore Battle Royal participants. Basically it’s a huge free for all and not a traditional battle royal. There’s a fifteen minute time limit and there can be as many title changes as there needs to be. Basically whoever is the last man standing is champion and the 24/7 rule stops after the last fall.

Hardcore Title: Hardcore Battle Royal

Tazz, Crash Holly, Hardcore Holly, Viscera, Joey Abs, Rodney, Pete Gas, Taka Michinoku, Funaki, Thrasher, Mosh, Faarooq, Bradshaw

Crash is defending coming in. He comes in last and we’re ready to go. Remember there’s a fifteen minute time limit. Everyone else fights to the floor and Taz hits a fast suplex on Crash for the pin ad the title in thirty seconds. So now, only Taz can be pinned for the title. A few seconds later, Viscera hits Tazz with a board and gets the title. Now we move into an extended period of hitting people in the head with whatever objects are handy.

We’ve got thirteen and a half minutes or so to go. Someone uses a box fan on someone else and that’s about the most in depth coverage you’ll be getting here. Everyone jumps Viscera and hits him with whatever they can find. Crash appears to be busted open. The Acolytes double team the champion and the beatings continue on everyone for a bit. Hardcore and Mosh beat Viscera down and get two each.

We’re under ten minutes now and it’s fine extinguisher time. There’s so much stuff going on it’s impossible to call. Viscera heads back into the ring and goes up top (for those of you unfamiliar, Viscera is about Big Show’s size), only to be slammed down by the Acolytes. The APA (Acolyte Protection Agency, same team) breaks a board over his back and Bradshaw hits a top rope shoulder to put him down. For no apparent reason they throw Kai En Tai on top of Viscera, giving Funaki the belt.

Funaki, apparently the smartest guy in the match, grabs the belt and runs away. Everyone catches up to him in the back with 7:00 left. Rodney gets a fluke pin out of nowhere for the pin, which I believe is the Posse’s first pinfall. Joey suplexes him down and wins the title but Thrasher gets a clothesline and the title. Everyone beats up Thrasher now because its their job and we come into the arena again. Pete Gas hits Thrasher with a fire extinguisher and wins the title.

Taz gets his hands on the champion and brings him back to ringside for a beating. A t-bone suplex puts the bloody Pete down for the pin and the title with….dang it they took the clock down. Hardcore sends Taz into the steps for two before Mosh takes a shot at him. Taz rolls up Mosh for two on instinct alone. Now it’s the Hollys and Taz in the ring and three minutes to go. Crash gets cracked in the head by Taz for two which again means nothing. Hardcore puts Taz down and the cousins fight over a cover. Two minutes left and both Hollies get two off a powerslam by Hardcore.

We’ve got a minute left as Hardcore hits the dropkick for two. The champion hits a suplex on Hardcore to send him outside as Crash hits Taz with a trashcan lid for the title. The Tazmission goes on Crash but Hardcore blasts Taz in the head with a candy jar and covers Crash. The ending is screwed up though as Hardcore was supposed to get two but be stopped by the time.

Instead the referee had to stop counting…but Hardcore wins anyway. It made no sense, but either way the important thing here is Taz actually. That jar was made of real glass and when it shattered, some of it got in Taz’s eye. Allegedly he was supposed to win the Intercontinental Title but the reign went to Benoit instead.

Rating: B-. What do you want me to say about this? It was exactly what it was supposed to be so I can’t complain about it in that regard. They beat the tar out of each other with some funny spots and it was contained in one match instead of a big goofy show long angle like we had two years later. This rating could be all over the place depending on your taste for this stuff.

We look at Axxess over the weekend. Interestingly enough Undertaker is there in the biker attire.

Al Snow talks to someone in a bathroom stall when Steve Blackman comes in and says don’t do something stupid. This is during the Head Cheese (Snow and Blackman) attempt at finding Blackman a personality.

Trish is ready in the back.

Head Cheese vs. T&A

Snow brings out Chester McCheeserton, which is a guy in a cheese suit. Snow: “This is better than Shawn on a zipline.” That would be Test and Albert (Tensai) with the brand new Trish Stratus as their manager. Test and Blackman start as JR’s mic goes out. Test gets kicked down quickly but it’s off to Albert who hits a quick splash in the corner for two. Snow comes in for a few seconds but it’s quickly back to Steve for a running shoulder which takes Albert down.

Snow comes in again sans tag with a slingshot legdrop to the back of Albert’s head. Blackman breaks up a gorilla press attempt from Albert to give Snow two. Head Cheese double teams Albert as the fans are dying faster and faster by the minute here. Chester annoys Trish as Blackman drops a knee on Albert’s crotch. Off to Snow who gets caught in a suplex, allowing for the ice cold tag to Test.

T&A his a double powerbomb on Snow as JR calls it bowling shoe ugly. Snow hits an Asai Moonsault on Test before the modified Trash Compactor (backbreaker by Blackman/guillotine legdrop from Snow) for two on Test. The match breaks down even more as Albert hits a gorilla press on Blackman before a top rope elbow by Test gets the pin.

Rating: D-. Anything with Trish in an outfit that small can’t be a failure, but at the same time this match absolutely sucked. There was NOTHING good going on here and they weren’t just on different pages, but rather in different libraries. This was absolutely horrible and one of the worst Mania matches ever.

Post match Head Cheese beats up Chester. You know, because they’re good guys!

We get a “comedy” bit based off Austin Powers with Kat being sans clothes and Mae Young accidentally covering up the good parts.

The Dudleys say they’re afraid of heights but they’re ready for the triangle ladder match. This is when Bubba still had a stutter.

Tag Titles: Edge and Christian vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

The Dudleyz are defending and this is a triangle ladder match rather than a TLC match. That would come in September. This is when Edge and Christian still came through the crowd and somehow hadn’t won the tag titles yet. As the Dudleys pose in the aisle on a ladder during their entrance, the Canadians jump the only actual brothers in the match. This is going to be one of those matches that is almost impossible to keep track of. Bubba chops away at Jeff in the ring but gets caught by Whisper in the Wind. A Bubba Bomb puts Jeff right back down and they all head to the floor.

Christian sets up a ladder in the ring but Matt makes a save. Everyone gets back inside and there’s a second ladder. Matt throws one into the corner at Bubba for a sick thud right before D-Von is slammed onto a ladder and hit by a middle rope elbow. Jeff puts Bubba on the ladder but misses a 450, giving us a SICK looking crash. Bubba puts the ladder on top of Jeff and actually hits the middle rope backsplash to crush both of them. Edge rides a ladder out of the corner to crush another ladder onto Matt.

D-Von takes Edge down and all six guys are on the mat or floor now. Bubba is up first and we get the put the ladder around your own neck and spin around in a circle move. Edge and Christian finally dropkick the ladder into Bubba to put him down and there’s a double flapjack into the ladder in the corner on D-Von. Christian climbs a ladder and dives onto Matt and Bubba on the floor. This is all happening with almost no breaks in between. Jeff climbs the ladder in the ring but Edge jumps off the top with a spear. That would be topped by about 1000 next year.

Matt hits a crucifix bomb on Edge before trying to climb, only to be slammed down by D-Von. D-Von goes up, only to have Christian throw the ladder at him to bring him down. There are now three ladders set up in the middle of the ring and it’s Bubba with a Cutter to Christian off two of them. Awesome looking move there. With Bubba down, the Hardys hit a splash/legdrop combination off the top of the ladders. D-Von tries to climb but the Canadians suplex him off the ladder.

Everyone but the Dudleyz climb up but they all come flying down due to a facebuster and a Russian legsweep in another spot that would be topped next year. The Dudleys are back in now and the fans want tables. Now all six guys climb three ladders and as you can guess, they all go flying down. Christian and Jeff get the worst of it, crashing out to the floor. Bubba lands on his feet and shoves the other two ladders over, leaving him alone in the ring. D-Von is back up too but here’s Christian back to his feet, only to get crushed between two ladders.

Edge comes back in and gets caught in the original 3D, with Bubba running for the cutter instead of just standing there. Bubba loads up a table as is his custom and D-Von gets one of his own. There are two ladders set up in the ring and the Dudleys are all alone, but instead of climbing they make a scaffold out of a table between the tops of the ladders. The Hardys get back up to make the save but are easily dispatched. Again the Dudleys screw up though by setting up another table under the scaffold and a third on the floor.

Bubba powerbombs Matt through the one on the floor but D-Von misses a splash through Jeff on one of the tables back in the ring. Jeff tries to run the rail but Bubba pelts him in the face with a ladder. Bubba loads up the super ladder in the aisle before setting up a table in front of it. I can smell wrestling law #1 from here. Jeff comes back and takes Bubba out before putting him on the ladder. In the famous spot from this match, Jeff climbs to the top of the super ladder and hits the Swanton through Bubba through the table to put both of them out.

Back in the ring D-Von suplexes Christian down and goes for a climb but here’s Matt to break it up. The Twist of Fate takes D-Von down and now it’s Matt and Christian climbing the ladders. They both wind up on the scaffolding that was set up earlier but here’s Edge from behind. The brothers throw Matt through the table, allowing Edge and Christian to pull down the belts for their first titles.

Rating: A-. There are two problems with this match. First of all, the match the next year blows it away. Second, and far worse, the last ten minutes were spent setting up spots instead of actually going for the belts. Take the big spot of the match for example. Why in the world would Bubba do that instead of for the sake of doing that spot later? Same with all the other tables set up. There was no logic to doing that, but they did the spots anyway. Still though, excellently fun match.

Mick Foley and Linda McMahon say the main event tonight is the biggest match of all time and thanks to Linda, Mick gets to be in the main event at Wrestlemania. He says fairy tales can come true, one will come true for him.

Terri Runnels vs. The Kat

It’s a Catfight, meaning you have to put your opponent on the floor to win. Val Venis is referee and Moolah and Mae are in the respective corners. The referee compares a certain part of himself to Wrestlemania in a promo that would get him chased off by a pitchfork carrying mob in today’s world. Venis is in a referee’s towel too. Early on he picks up Terri and gets kissed in a spot that would have made the Montreal Screwjob completely different.

Kat hits a lame spear but Val has to stop Mae from flashing everyone. Terri is sent to the floor but there’s no referee. The old chicks get in the ring and Mae kisses Val. Kat throws Terri to the floor but Moolah pulls Kat to the outside. Terri is the only one in as Val escapes Mae, giving Terri the win. Total mess but it was a bridge between the big match and the rest of the show.

Terri is stripped post match.

The Radicalz are ready for the six man tag but Eddie is more interested in melting Chyna with the Latino Heat.

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

This would be Saturn/Malenko/Guerrero. They’re brand new at this point and Dean is already Light Heavyweight Champion. Too Cool was their first feud and it was a big enough deal that Too Cool rode it to a tag title reign in a few months. Eddie and Scotty start things off and Scott has his hat knocked off almost immediately. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Eddie down and it’s off to Chyna, sending Guerrero running off to Dean.

Malenko loads up a fast powerbomb but Scotty clotheslines him down to break it up. Chyna and the Grandmaster suplex Malenko down and it’s time to dance. Back to Eddie to face Grandmaster with Sexay hitting a quick suplex. Saturn breaks up the top rope legdrop though and the Radicalz take over. Perry comes in legally now and steals Grandmaster’s dew rag, somehow making him look even more ridiculous.

Eddie comes back in and allows Grandmaster to make a tag to Scotty. That goes badly for the non Radicalzas Scotty charges into a hot shot followed by the slingshot hilo for no cover. Grandmaster comes back in sans tag and throws Eddie to the floor as things fall apart. Scotty loads up a double Worm on Saturn and Malenko but an Eddie distraction lets them get back up. There’s no one in the ring at the moment until we get back to Scotty vs. Eddie. Perry comes back in and superkicks Hotty down.

A top rope elbow hits Scotty but again there’s no cover. Instead it’s back to Guerrero who goes up but takes too long, allowing Scotty to crotch him. A superplex puts both guys down and there’s the hot tag to Chyna. She cleans house with handspring elbows and a double low blow to Saturn and Malenko. Eddie decks her though, breaking part of her outfit in the process. Chyna escapes a powerbomb into one of her own, grabs Eddie’s crotch and slams him down before finishing him with a sleeper drop.

Rating: D+. This didn’t work for me for the most part but the main story of Chyna vs. Eddie was advanced which is the right idea. This would wind up meaning nothing (in a way) though as Chyna would fall victim to the Latino Heat the next day, starting a summer long relationship between the two. I guess that crotch grab changed her mind.

The redneckiest rednecks of all time won a contest to go to Wrestlemania.

Big Show and Shane say Show will win.

We get a clip from earlier of Angle beating up his mentor Bob Backlund after finding out that Backlund came up with the idea of Kurt defending both titles.

Angle asks a security guard for extra security for the post match celebration.

Intercontinental Title/European Title: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

This is an interesting idea. Angle holds both titles coming in and there are going to be two falls here. The first is for the Intercontinental Title and the second is for the European Title, so basically we’re getting back to back triple threats. Jericho guarantees to walk out of this match as the Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah while the other two will walk out with a shirt that complains about how lousy the shirt is as well as how bad the beating from Jericho was.

Benoit jumps Angle before the bell before heading inside for a clothesline from his fellow Canadian. All three are in now and Benoit chops Jericho, only to have his belly to back suplex escaped. Benoit breaks up a springboard dropkick by Jericho before fighting with Angle on the apron. Jericho hits the previously broken up dropkick to send both guys out to the floor. He joins them immediately, only to be sent into the steps by Kurt. Back in and a belly to belly suplex gets two for Angle on Jericho.

Jericho hits a backbreaker on Angle but Benoit shoves Jericho off the top and into the announce table for good measure. Benoit covers Angle for two before suplexing him down for the same. Jericho is back in for a dropkick to his fellow Canadian but Benoit comes right back with a clothesline for two more. Jericho bulldogs Angle down but Benoit comes back with chops of his own on the other Chris. Angle suplexes Benoit down but Jericho makes the save. Very back and forth action so far.

Jericho camel clutches Benoit but has to break it up to stop a charging Kurt. Angle hits a big suplex on Jericho for two as Benoit makes another save. Benoit rolls up Jericho in the corner but Angle dropkicks his head face first into the middle buckle to break it up. Jericho loads up a double arm suplex on Angle but gets countered into a crossface chickenwing. Benoit comes back in and dropkicks Angle before sending him to the floor and into the barricade. Back in and the Swan Dive to Jericho gives Benoit the first fall and the Intercontinental Title.

Very wisely Benoit immediately covers Jericho for an attempt at the European Title but it only gets two as Kurt dives in for the save. Angle suplexes Benoit down for two but takes too long on the moonsault attempt, allowing Jericho to break it up. Jericho loads up a belly to back superplex but Benoit supelxes Chris down, allowing Angle to miss the moonsault on Benoit. All three guys are down now until Angle covers Benoit for two. Jericho gets back into it with a Walls attempt on Angle, only to have the other Chris break it up.

Everyone gets back up and it’s Jericho with a spinwheel kick to take Benoit to the floor. The double powerbomb puts Angle down but Benoit comes back in for the Rolling Germans on Jericho. Benoit goes old school with a Dragon Supelx on Angle for two. Jericho hits the forearm on the referee by mistake, only to be put in the Crossface by the new IC Champion.

It gets an unseen tapout but Benoit releases, allowing Jericho to put Benoit in the Walls. Angle hits Jericho with a title belt but Benoit makes the save as the referee is awake again. Benoit suplexes Angle down again but misses the Swan Dive. Jericho slides in for the Lionsault on Benoit for the European Title to end things.

Rating: B+. Awesome match here which would have been match of the year when this style dominated in 2003. All three guys were the future generation of the company once we shifted to the technical style over on Smackdown in a few years, but here it’s just awesome instead of a match of the times. This is one of the only things that people remember from this show and with good reason: it was awesome.

Vince says he’ll be a factor in the main event. He’s in Rock’s corner tonight and doesn’t think his family is dysfunctional. Vince promises to make it right tonight. You can smell the screwjob coming from here.

HHH doesn’t like what Vince just said and promises not to lose.

D-Generation X vs. Rikishi/Kane

This would be Road Dogg and X-Pac with Tori as the final surviving members of the team. Kane has the wicked awesome inverted colors on tonight with mainly black trimmed with red. Tori slaps Paul Bearer before the match but gets choked by Kane for his efforts. It’s a brawl to start with Rikishi hitting a quick Stinkface on Road Dogg. The fat man turns his attention to Tori but Pac makes a last minute save. D-X tries to leave to no avail as the big men slowly chase them down.

We finally get started with Pac vs. Rikishi and the smaller man hitting a spinning kick in the corner but no Bronco Buster follows. Off to Roadie for the dancing punches and a forearm to put Rikishi down. The shaky knee gets two and it’s back to Pac for some kicks to the chest which have no effect. A Samoan Drop puts Pac down and there’s the tag to Kane. Kane gets to beat up X-Pac which is the whole point of the match. X-Pac avoids the Stinkface but Bearer throws Tori in to take his place. Kane tombstones Pac to end this.

Rating: D. This was another way to bridge between the two matches while also giving us a nice closure to this feud. Rikishi was a popular guy at the time so giving him a big match on a show like this was the right idea. Tori screwed over Kane months before so seeing her get what was coming to her was a nice feeling. The match sucked though.

Post match Too Cool and the San Diego Chicken come out to celebrate but Kane doesn’t trust the bird. Everyone dances as Kane stares at the chicken. Either Pete is a far better dancer than expected or there’s something afoot. Kane stares down at the bird but here’s Pete Rose with a ball bat. This goes as badly as the other years have gone and it’s a chokeslam and a Stinkface for the Hit King. I’ll give the guy this: he’s willing to do almost whatever the WWF asked of him.

Rock says it’s been twelve months since he was world champion and there have been a lot of bad moments for Rock since then. After ever chokeslam, every Mandible Claw and every Pedigree, he’s back here at Wrestlemania for his world title. If Rock has an ounce of blood and sweat, he’s going to layeth the Smacketh Down tonight for the millions and millions.

Various celebrities are here tonight, including Michael Clarke Duncan and Martin Short.

Here’s a recap of the main event which the company doesn’t think is important enough to explain to you. HHH is defending champion and retired Foley at No Way Out. Rock won the Rumble but Big Show presented HHH with a video showing that Rock’s feet hit first. This got Big Show a match at No Way Out for the #1 contendership where he beat Rock. Rock then earned the shot back by beating Big Show on Raw. Linda McMahon brought Foley back for one night only and if he wins tonight, there’s a tournament leading up to the title match at Backlash.

The real story here is that there’s a McMahon in every corner: Vince with Rock because Vince respect him, Stephanie with her husband HHH, Linda with the feel good story of Foley and Shane with Big Show because he sees Show as his ticket to the top of the company. In other words, the wrestlers are just there as the McMahons are the real show here.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Mick Foley vs. HHH vs. Big Show

There are no tags here, no disqualification and you have to win by pin. Why there are no submissions is beyond me but whatever. Rock and Big Show fight as do the other two with the champion being punched down. Allegedly Foley was told a week before this match that he would be participating so he isn’t in the best of shape. Granted that’s normal for him so maybe it won’t be that big of a deal.

Big Show runs over everyone and gorilla presses HHH and Rock. Foley gets a headbutt but tries to jump on Show’s back, only to have the giant crush him against the mat. Rock comes back with right hands on Big Show but walks into a side slam for no cover. HHH jumps into a chokeslam attempt but Foley breaks it up with a low blow. Everyone triple teams Big Show to a big reaction and a running clothesline from Rock puts him down. They all stomp away at the giant but HHH and Foley just can’t work together that long.

Foley blasts HHH in the ribs with a chair and hits Show in the back with it as well, allowing the Rock Bottom to get rid of the biggest guy in the match. We’re down to three now and Shane is ticked off. HHH offers Foley an alliance against Rock but Foley says no. Instead HHH offers Rock an alliance against Foley but we get a Rock and Sock Connection reunion as HHH gets beaten down. HHH gets punched down and dropped with a double clothesline.

The champion is sent to the floor but the Connection won’t fight each other. Instead they head to the outside and beat up HHH even more to the fans’ delight. Rock picks up the bell but accidentally blasts Foley in the head. Foley gets up quickly and finds a barbed wire 2×4. HHH saves himself with a low blow and a shot to Foley’s ribs with the board. Rock comes back in and is backdropped to the floor, allowing Foley to hit the double arm DDT on HHH. It’s Socko time and Rock adds a belt shot to take HHH down.

Rock loads up the Elbow but Foley puts the Claw on him to break it up. HHH hits them both low to put them both down but Rock gets back up first and pounds away on the champion. Foley gets in a shot to Rock for two and a double arm DDT gets the same. Vince slides in a chair for no apparent reason but Foley gets it first. It gets kicked back into his face by Rock for two as HHH makes the save. Why would he do something like that? A running knee lift gets two on Rock but HHH doesn’t save this time. Interesting.

HHH and Mick start working together for a bit and a knee drop gets two on Rock. They head to the floor with Mick’s knees being sent HARD into the steps. Mick picks up said steps and cracks Rock in the head with them as Stephanie yells at Linda. HHH puts Rock on the table for the Foley elbow through it….but Mick can’t jump that far and crashes ribs first into the edge of the table. HHH hits about three elbows of his own to put Rock through the table as the match continues to drag.

Back inside and HHH Pedigrees Foley for two and a big eruption from the crowd. A BIG chair shot to the head puts Foley down and Linda is panicking. HHH Pedigrees Mick onto the chair and the career is over again. We’re down to two now and HHH is somehow even more hated than he was before. Foley gets a big standing ovation but turns around to come back to the ring. He picks up the barbed wire and blasts HHH in the head to give us one last BANG BANG moment.

We’re finally down to HHH vs. Rock after twenty minutes of glorified preliminary stuff. Rock gets two off the barbed wire stuff and they head up to the stage for the required main event brawling. Rock suplexes HHH down on the concrete and does the same with a clothesline. They head into the crowd for even more “fighting” which means walking with the occasional punching. A backdrop puts HHH back at ringside where Rock picks up the steps, only to have HHH knock them onto Rock with a chair. He pounds on the steps with the chair to crush Rock even further underneath them.

A piledriver on the steps keeps Rock down even longer before we head inside again. The piledriver only gets two and Rock is somehow up again to slug away with right hands. Rock Bottom and Pedigree are both countered with HHH being backdropped out to the floor. Rock hits a kind of spinebuster to put HHH down and there’s a suplex through the table for good measure. Both guys are basically dead now but it’s Rock up first.

Vince can’t handle the lack of the spotlight anymore though and rams HHH into the post. Cue Shane again to take out Vince with a monitor shot to the head but Papa gets up a few seconds later to beat up his son. Shane comes back with a chairshot as we’re ignoring THE MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA to see Shane and Vince fight. As a bleeding Vince is taken out, we cut to a shot of Stephanie with the most vapid look you’ll ever see on her face.

We’re allowed to return to the match now with right hands from Rocky. A DDT gets two on the champion as does a tilt-a-whirl slam. HHH comes back with a facebuster and a barbed wire shot to the head of Rock. At least he’s nice enough to loudly ask “ARE YOU OK” before being catapulted into Shane. There’s the Rock Bottom but Rock can’t cover. Instead here’s Vince for the 87^th time tonight to slap Shane around. Then, as if you would expect anything else, he turns on Rock with a chair shot. Stephanie still fails at acting as HHH chairs Rock down again for the pin to retain and kill the crowd even deader.

Rating: D+. And that’s being VERY generous. This was the definition of McMahon overkill as it was ALL about them with the match literally being ignored at times while they had their repeated drama. On top of that the match sucked with the first 20 minutes being there to get us to the last 20 minutes which doesn’t do anyone any good. The rest of the match was just a big mess with no real story to it as we were all at the mercy of the McMahons. Instead of focusing on HHH vs. Rock, we had to wait 40 minutes for Vince to turn on Rock for no apparent reason. Also Rock would win the title at Backlash, making this entirely pointless.

Post match Vince and Stephanie reunite in the ring. Shane gets back in but before we can get more of McMahon World, Rock comes in with Rock Bottoms for all three McMahons. You might notice that HHH, the FREAKING WORLD CHAMPION, is nowhere in sight for all this. Oh wait he pops up on the apron to get punched down before Rock hits the People’s Elbow on Stephanie (who doesn’t even move an inch when it hits). The last shot of the show: the McMahons recovering of course.

Overall Rating: D. This show is the low point of the best year in the company’s history and it’s because of the McMahon drama. Again, there is zero reason to have them dominate a main event like this other than that’s what they wanted to happen. The stuff that was good though, while limited, was VERY good with the midcard title match and the tag title match blowing away everything else going on with this show. That main event is a BIG blow to it though given how long the thing ran. Check out those two matches and then go pick up the N64 game instead of the show as it’s WAY more entertaining.

Ratings Comparison

Big Boss Man/Bull Buchanan vs. D’Lo Brown/Godfather

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Hardcore Battle Royal

Original: C+

Redo: B-

T&A vs. Head Cheese

Original: F

Redo: D-

Edge and Christian vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz

Original: B+

Redo: A-

The Kat vs. Terri Runnels

Original: F

Redo: N/A

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

Original: D

Redo: D+

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho

Original: A

Redo: B+

Rikishi/Kane vs. D-Generation X

Original: D+

Redo: D

HHH vs. The Rock vs. Big Show vs. Mick Foley

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D

Redo: D

Not much changes in a few years.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/23/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-16-they-thought-this-was-a-good-idea/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: October 10, 2002
Location: America West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re ten days away from No Mercy and the big question is Undertaker’s hand, which was broken last week. That’s not good when he’s heading into the Cell with Brock Lesnar. The other major story is the Tag Team Title tournament, which is almost destined to offer a string of great matches. Let’s get to it.

We open with one of those stuttering recaps with Stephanie McMahon narrating because we watch these shows to hear from her. Anyway we recap Undertaker vs. Lesnar with the OFFICIALLY broken hand (you want to make sure it’s the official one or you won’t be able to get a warranty) and an announcement of the Cell match.

Undertaker is in the parking lot.

Here’s Matt Hardy with something to say. After the WE WANT JEFF chants die down, Matt brags about beating Undertaker for the second time last week. Matt talks about how last week was a defining moment in Mattitude and we see a clip of last week’s pin. Of course we see Undertaker coming to the ring and the beating is on in a hurry. A few headbutts and cast shots open Matt up but he gets in a low blow. That’s fine with Undertaker who casts Matt in the head and then casts a chair into Matt’s head. Undertaker punches the post and Matt FINALLY escapes. This went on far longer than it should have but you have to fill time somehow.

Rikishi vs. Eddie Guerrero

Fallout from last week where Eddie make Mark Henry tap in a tag match. Rikishi doesn’t waste time and grabs a bearhug but Eddie crawls over into a sunset flip. That goes nowhere so Eddie hits a dropkick, allowing Chavo to get in some choking from the floor. The cheating earns Uncle Eddie a spinebuster but he goes after the knee and scores with the slingshot hilo for no cover.

The frog splash misses though and Rikishi loads up the Stinkface, meaning Chavo has to make another save. That means Rikishi superkicks him into the corner as well and Stinkfaces them both. You would think that the combined forces could have allowed them to escape but alas not so much. The referee, who somehow hasn’t called for a DQ, has to deal with Eddie throwing Chavo a chair. It is but a ruse though as Eddie uses another chair on Rikishi’s leg, setting up the El Paso Lasso for the tap.

Rating: C-. I could go for watching the Guerreros do their cheating every day. They have so much chemistry together and really do feel like they could beat anyone with these shenanigans. It helps that Eddie is doing some of the best work of his career right now and looking more and more awesome every single week. Rikishi was just fine here too as the one that gets to stand still while Eddie does his thing.

Torrie Wilson can’t believe Dawn Marie has challenged her to a lingerie contest. I can’t quite hear what she says next because the pop is far too strong. Torrie’s father shows up and she tries to hide her lingerie choices before getting him away.

Stephanie wants the tag division to be legitimate so she lectures Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle. Wouldn’t it make more sense to bring in regular teams to make the belts a bit more legit? I mean, I’m no one to question Stephanie but reforming the Dudleyz or something like that would have made more sense. Or not letting THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS JUMP TO RAW IN THE FIRST PLACE. Angle mocks Benoit’s missing tooth and they get in an argument over who leaves first.

Rey Mysterio is ready for his tournament match with Edge tonight when Nidia comes in for a Spanish argument. Rey seems to insult her so Nidia storms off to yell at Jamie Noble. Jamie says don’t treat him like that because he has a tournament match of his own tonight. Coffee is tossed away and security breaks it up.

The Guerreros are fired up over their win when Benoit comes out of Stephanie’s office (Does that mean he won or lost the competition with Angle?) and looks rather serious. Eddie: “Did you just get in trouble with the principal man?” Benoit doesn’t want to be suspended for a year but Chavo chimes in with a rumor that Angle is taking a year off to train for the Olympics. Chris is suspicious when Angle comes out. His greetings to Eddie and Chavo respectively: “What up home slice?” and “Word up my Chicano friend.” The Guerreros leave and Angle things they were talking about him. Violence is threatened and Benoit smirks.

Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Billy Kidman/John Cena vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit

The winners get the Guerreros next week. Kidman hurricanranas Benoit down to start and it’s off to Cena (in purple and orange, Phoenix Suns colors) for a hiptoss on Angle. That’s not cool with Kurt so he snaps off a belly to belly to send Kidman flying out to the floor. Benoit and Angle get annoyed at each other again (of course) so Chris rolls some German suplexes on Kidman.

We hit a kneeling half crab with Benoit cranking on it as only he can. Kidman does the tag that the referee doesn’t see spot so Angle can throw him down again. Angle is finally sent into the post and Benoit takes an enziguri, allowing the real hot tag off to Cena. Everything breaks down in a hurry and Benoit’s powerbomb is countered into an X-Factor to give Kidman a near fall. Angle is back in for an Angle Slam though but Cena saves the ankle lock. He can’t save the Crossface though and Kidman taps.

Rating: C. This got better at the end but was there any real question about who was going to win here? They kind of screwed themselves over with the “one year suspension” thing because no one is going to buy that happening. Angle and Benoit trying to one up each other is very entertaining though and that makes for some fun matches.

Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman arrive with a good looking woman. They want to have the path to the ring cleared because they have an announcement.

And now for the highlight of the show: a Desire video all about Matt Hardy with Matt narrating. I know he gets a lot of flack for all these reinventions but when they hit, they hit huge.

We recap the Undertaker vs. Matt brawl.

Here are Lesnar, Heyman and that woman for what I really hope isn’t the announcement I think it’s going to be. Heyman talks about Undertaker being in the back talking about the Cell, which Lesnar isn’t qualified to talk about. However, Tracy is qualified to talk about what kind of a man Undertaker is. This brings out a ticked off Undertaker so Heyman and Lesnar bail. Tracy stays though and calls him Mark because it’s serious you see.

They’ve been sleeping together for three months and she just found out he’s married. The big SARA tattoo on his throat wasn’t a hint that there was a woman in his life? She didn’t care that he was famous and promised to never take the relationship permanent. The fans chant some VERY unkind things about Tracy until Undertaker denies it. Tracy slaps him in the face and storms off.

Post break, Heyman and Lesnar are leaving when Stephanie pops up to put Lesnar in the tournament with Tajiri. It’s important to have the best teams, which is why the Dudley Boyz are still separated right? Heyman protests so Stephanie guarantees him that Undertaker is banned from ringside. If he interferes, he’s out of the title match.

Billy Gunn vs. Reverend D-Von

The Gunn is back and so is the generic rock music. D-Von, with Ron Simmons in his corner, hammers away to start but gets clotheslined for two. That’s enough for D-Von to take a breather on the floor and Simmons gets in a cheap shot to take over. Back in and we hit the chinlock as the announcers ignore the match to talk about anything else. Can you blame them in this case? A powerslam gets two but Billy grabs the One and Only for no cover. Simmons breaks up the Fameasser so Chuck superkicks him, allowing the Fameasser to connect for the pin a few seconds later.

Rating: D. Boring match here but that’s all you can expect here. I’m sure there’s a good reason to have D-Von lose before he and Simmons have their semifinal match next week. At least Bubba is still getting to team with Spike over on Raw and fill in a spot in a one off gimmick match. That’s also all we’ll see of Gunn until June of next year as he wrecked his shoulder a few days later at a house show.

Undertaker can’t get a word in with Sara and she hangs up on him. This is exactly what I want to see to build up the most violent match in the company.

Chavo is holding his head and screaming for Benoit. Chris comes up and Chavo says Angle jumped Eddie. Benoit goes off to find them and Chavo shoves him into a closet where violence can be heard. A smiling Eddie comes out holding a dented chair and saying Angle did it.

Torrie is ready for her lingerie contest and asks her dad to not watch (well duh). Dawn Marie comes up and gives Al a preview of her outfit, which he seems to approve of.

Lingerie contest, Torrie wins, Cole thinks this is WAY more impressive than it really is, Torrie won’t shake hands after winning.

Post break Al is waiting outside the women’s locker room when Dawn comes up to give him the Divas Undressed magazine with her hotel room key marking her pages.

Heyman is telling Brock what to watch for in the tag match when Lesnar asks for his phone. Brock calls Sara and asks if she’s ok before smiling and hanging up. Heyman looks somewhere between mortified and inspired.

We hear Tracy’s bad acting skills again.

Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Brock Lesnar/Tajiri vs. Rey Mysterio/Edge

The winners get D-Von and Simmons next week for reasons that make my head hurt. Edge and Lesnar start with the champ shoving him down with ease. The Canadian pops back up and gets in a takedown before mocking Lesnar’s pose. That just ticks Lesnar off and I don’t see this ending well. If nothing else, Brock being on the floor gives Cole a chance to praise Stephanie’s business sense.

Back in and the beating begins but Mysterio tags himself in and springboards into a crossbody on Lesnar. That gives us the staredown with Brock hitting something like a powerslam for two. Tajiri tags himself in for the first kick before grabbing a chinlock. That’s followed by the more successful Tarantula but Rey escapes and grabs a hurricanrana.

The hot tag brings in Edge and Lesnar has no issues watching his partner get beaten up. Edge makes the mistake of knocking Brock off the apron and here comes the champ. Brock actually gets dropped by a flying forearm and Tajiri kicks Lesnar by mistake. A double dropkick puts Lesnar on the floor and the 619 into the spear sends Edge and Rey on.

Rating: D+. This was exactly what you would expect from these four in this situation. I could certainly go for Tajiri vs. Rey and Edge vs. Lesnar doesn’t sound too bad either. I’m not sure I get the logic of giving the face team such an easy path to the finals but the tournament needs to be the best or something.

Lesnar cleans house until Undertaker makes the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. There’s good stuff sprinkled through this show but it’s not enough to overcome the stupid Tracy story, the pretty lame tournament stuff and Billy Gunn vs. D-Von. Smackdown works because it has a bunch of action instead of the weak drama and bad storylines. Give us any two combinations of the really talented guys for twelve minutes or so and everything will be fine.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: October 3, 2002
Location: CajunDome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

I don’t know what lit the fire underneath Smackdown as of late but they’ve been on fire. Last week was one of the best episodes of TV I’ve ever seen and while there’s a good chance things will go downhill tonight, at least things are on a roll coming in. We’ve got about three weeks before No Mercy and it should be time to announce a Smackdown match or two. Let’s get to it.

Stephanie McMahon does the seizure inducing intro to talk about tonight’s card, including Edge vs. Kurt Angle, Matt Hardy vs. Undertaker in a falls count anywhere match and the start of a tournament for the Smackdown Tag Team Titles with the finals at No Mercy. This is your first (of many) ways to put Stephanie on screen and remind us that she’s just so darn cool.

Smackdown Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Rikishi/Mark Henry vs. Eddie Guerrero/Chavo Guerrero

The cousins try to get in a sneak attack to start but the big guys throw Chavo onto Eddie. That goes nowhere though as it’s basically a high crossbody, meaning Eddie pops back up and hammers on Rikishi. Cole: “You’ve got to take your hat off to Smackdown GM Stephanie McMahon!”

Eddie comes in and walks into a Samoan drop, followed by a superkick to Chavo. It’s time to start in on Mark’s knee with both Guerreros taking a few shots, only to have Mark keep kicking them away. Rikishi comes in and is immediately forced out by the referee, allowing Chavo to hit Henry in the knee with a chair. Eddie slaps on a leglock for the tap out.

Rating: C-. You can see the greatness in Eddie and Chavo as a team and the monsters were a fine choice for some monsters they needed to cheat. This was a good way to get around one of the nothing teams and advance the talented guys, which is exactly how this should have gone. When you get the right opponents, there’s going to be a classic for the Guerreros somewhere in this tournament.

Torrie Wilson arrives….with her dad Al. Oh geez it’s this mess. They run into Billy and Chuck when Dawn Marie comes in and hits on Al.

Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar are watching a clip of Lesnar attacking Undertaker when Heyman says Stephanie has made a rematch at No Mercy. The thing is she won’t tell him the stipulation and Heyman is worried. Lesnar laughs it off when Matt Hardy comes in to say it won’t be falls count anywhere.

Matt Hardy vs. Undertaker

Falls count anywhere. Undertaker slugs him into the corner to start and takes it outside to throw Matt into various things. A low blow breaks up a chokeslam through the table but Undertaker shoves him into the barricade for a breather. More right hands send Matt through the crowd and Undertaker gets a soda thrown in his face. They head to the back with Matt getting in a cheap shot so Undertaker rams him into a wall. Matt runs off while shouting that they’ll meet again and here’s Lesnar to jump Undertaker. An F5 sends Undertaker onto what looks like popcorn (seriously) to give Matt the easy pin.

Rating: F. Unless I’m missing something, Undertaker took a total of some right hands, a low blow, forearms from Lesnar and an F5 onto a glorified stack of pillows. That’s enough for him to do a job for Matt Hardy but the fight he and Lesnar had wasn’t enough to do a job to Brock on pay per view? Horrible stuff here as Hardy got squashed until the stupid ending.

Post match Lesnar crushes Undertaker’s hand with a propane tank.

Survivor Series ad.

Undertaker’s hand is being iced and he walks away from an interview attempt. The trainer thinks the hand is broken.

Cruiserweight Title: Crash vs. Jamie Noble

Jamie is defending and they start with a fight over a wristlock. The announcers are of course more interested in talking about Undertaker’s hand injury, which isn’t all that surprising given how worthless the title has become in the last few months. Noble takes him into the corner before cranking on a camel clutch. Crash fights up with some basic stuff, including an O’Connor roll to knock Nidia off the apron. The Crash Landing (Styles Clash) is countered into a rollup and Noble grabs the rope to retain.

Rating: C-. Crash made this better with a nice comeback but unfortunately the fans really didn’t care. Like I said though, the division is just nothing at this point and there’s no reason to care about Jamie Noble vs. Crash in a four minute match serving as a backdrop for all the Undertaker vs. Lesnar talk. That switch from Raw really did wonders for Crash’s career though.

Kurt Angle brags about how awesome he is and thinks Chris Benoit will lose to Rey Mysterio tonight. Angle says he’s awesome when Edge comes in and makes bald jokes but at least ties it back to their hair vs. hair match. A sucker punch puts Edge down.

Edge vs. Kurt Angle

We get a replay of the sucker punch from five minutes ago during Kurt’s entrance. Angle takes him down by the arm to start and kicks Edge off the leg without much effort. Back up and Edge goes after an arm as well, this time with a hammerlock, both standing and laying down. See that’s versatility. Angle finally gets tired of the beating and hammers away in the corner, only to have Edge reverse into the same.

They head outside with Angle’s arm going into the post as Edge is in a lot more control than you would expect. Back in and Edge is thrown over the top for a big crash to the floor. A drop onto the barricade makes things even worse and an overhead belly to belly gives Kurt two. We hit a chinlock with a bodyscissors for a bit before Angle knees him in the banged up ribs.

Since Angle is smarter than the average wrestler, he grabs an abdominal stretch to keep Edge in trouble. Edge fights up and hits an overhead belly to belly (good one too) to set up some clotheslines. The half nelson faceplant gets two but the spear hits the referee. The Edgecution should get the finish but there’s no count. Therefore, the Angle Slam connects as well, only to have another referee come in for the two.

The ankle lock sends Edge bailing to the ropes and he goes up top, only to have Angle superplex him down. They interlock their legs into a small package though and it’s a double pin. Naturally the referees disagree (with Mike Chioda nailing Mike Sparks) to send us to a break and a restart. Cole: “Don’t adjust your sets! This match has been restarted!” Does Cole think that adjusting the sharpness is going to rewind a video or something? Angle misses a charge and flies out to the floor, leaving Edge to dive off the top for a big crash.

Back in and a missile dropkick gets two on Kurt as the crowd is losing their minds on these near falls. A very hard German suplex drops Edge and Angle rolls some more for good measure. Cue Chris Benoit for a distraction, allowing Edge to cradle Angle for two. That would have been the finish in today’s WWE. The ankle lock is easily broken up and Angle grabs a chair. Benoit offers a distraction though, causing the chair shot to hit the top rope and bounce back into Kurt’s head. The spear gives Edge the pin.

Rating: A-. This was one less referee fight and false finish away from being a classic. As it is, this was just another great match to be added to the recent string of them on this show. Edge is getting hotter and hotter every single week and thankfully seems to be getting somewhere as a result. I love it when you see someone work hard and get rewarded for it, which is far rarer than it should be.

Benoit thinks it’s hilarious.

Rey Mysterio video.

Post break Angle goes into the locker room to go after Benoit but Stephanie is RIGHT THERE to break it up and put them together as partners in the tournament. If they fight while they’re partners, they’re suspended without pay for a year. Angle sucker punches Benoit (that’s two tonight) but Stephanie SCREECHES at them to shake hands right now. Lesnar gives Heyman another pep talk when Matt Hardy interrupts. Since Undertaker is injured and Matt just beat him, he should probably be #1 contender. Makes sense actually. Matt leaves and Heyman whispers to Lesnar: “I’d be careful. He could kill you.” Laughter ensues.

Raw Roulette is coming. That has way less potential than they’re building it up to have here, though to be fair that’s kind of the point.

Smackdown Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Billy and Chuck vs. Faarooq/Reverend D-Von

Billy asks Faarooq if he’s actually associating with D-Von and gets mic’d in the head for his efforts. Chuck gets jumped from behind but manages a butterfly suplex on D-Von. Faarooq beats him down again though until Chuck gets in a shot and makes the hot tag to Gunn. Everything breaks down and Faarooq gets in a spinebuster on Billy to give D-Von the upset pin.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here and that’s not really surprising. I’m not sure why you have Billy and Chuck lose here as I can’t imagine anyone is thinking much of D-Von and Faarooq. You’re trying to establish some new titles and it might help to have a multiple time Tag Team Championship combination in the later rounds.

Dawn shows Al her bikini.

It’s time for the bikini contest and let’s see how fast we can get this over with: Dawn looks great but Torrie looks better and has a sucker so she wins. Dawn offers a handshake and throws Torrie outside.

Stephanie gets to tell Heyman and Lesnar that Undertaker’s hand is broken. Undertaker is insisting to fight at No Mercy though and it’s going to be Hell in a Cell. That’s quite a speedy trip to the hospital (when you remember Undertaker refused treatment), x-ray, diagnosis, phone call to Stephanie and decision since Undertaker got hurt all of an hour and fifteen minutes ago. Heyman looks nervous but Brock looks eerily pleased.

Chris Benoit vs. Rey Mysterio

Benoit wastes no time and sends Mysterio into the corner, followed by what looks to be a Razor’s Edge attempt, only to have Rey reverse into a hurricanrana. Chris is sent outside for a big flip dive but comes right back with those hard suplexes that only he can throw. A cross arm choke keeps Rey down until a sunset flip gives him two. Back up and Benoit sends him into the corner over and over before grabbing a surfboard hold.

Rey fights up and slips out of a dragon suplex, only to get caught in a wicked wheelbarrow suplex instead. A dropkick gives Rey a breather and a springboard split legged moonsault gives him a near fall. The 619 is countered into a shoulder breaker though and the Swan Dive gives Benoit two more. Rey is quickly out of the Crossface and a springboard Fameasser sets up the 619. Cue Angle to snap Benoit’s throat across the top so Rey can grab a hurricanrana for the pin.

Rating: B. Were you really expecting this to be anything but solid? Smackdown has figured out the secret to an exciting in-ring product: stop trying to do anything too complicated and just let us have a fun match with some minor angle advancement. You can see these two plus Angle and someone else (probably Edge) in the tournament and that’s going to be awesome. Talented wrestlers can do something like this when given the chance and that’s what we got here.

Benoit Crossfaces Angle until security breaks it up to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. What does it say when this is one heck of a downgrade over the previous week? Those two matches more than made up for the horrible Undertaker stuff and the fact that it’s setting up a Cell match does make things a little easier to sit through. I’m having a blast watching these shows every week and it’s amazing that Raw is such a polar opposite from this. How can one company be so totally different? Either way, great stuff here, again.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: September 26, 2002
Location: San Diego Sports Arena, San Diego, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

Well Brock retained the title but they basically ruined the end of the pay per view with a double DQ finish. That almost guarantees that we’re setting up a rematch at No Mercy in a month because that’s how WWE main events work. Other than that we don’t have much of note on Smackdown because Unforgiven wasn’t a very important show. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Stephanie McMahon’s BRILLIANT (and highly illogical) plan to have Rikishi humiliate Eric Bischoff at the pay per view.

Opening sequence.

Rikishi vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

This is over Chavo hitting Rikishi with a camera last week. Chavo wisely gets him to give chase early on but Rikishi grabs him by the head and then throws Chavo into the corner by the throat. Something like a Scotty 2 Hotty style bulldog drops the big guy though and Rikishi is sent shoulder first into the post.

In the unfunny comedy portion of the match, Chavo loads up a Stinkface of his own but gets shoved away, meaning it’s time to back it up in the corner. The Rump Shaker is countered though and Chavo goes for the camera, which is superkicked back into his face. That’s enough for the Rump Shaker to connect and put Chavo away.

Rating: C. This was MUCH better than I was expecting and Chavo got to show off a bit. Rikishi is fine in a role like this where he beats up a midcarder and stays away from the bigger stories. It’s easy to like someone as fun as Rikishi but it’s a lot more difficult to take him seriously.

Rikishi dances post match.

It’s time for a bikini contest between Torrie Wilson and Nidia with Billy and Chuck as the judges. I guess it’s time to rehabilitate their masculinity or something. Nidia gets a 6 and a 9 (it’s funny you see) and Torrie gets a double 10. Billy and Chuck get in the ring and here come Tajiri and Jamie Noble, giving us an impromptu tag match.

Billy and Chuck vs. Tajiri/Jamie Noble

Chuck gets sent to the floor so it’s a series of kicks to put Billy down. Torrie is on the apron in a neutral corner for no apparent reason but it makes for some better scenery. The always great looking Tajiri superkick drops Billy again and Jamie starts in on the knee. Noble wraps it around the post as you can see the Cruiserweight Title on the floor. At least put it on the apron so it looks somewhat important.

Billy can’t even stand on the banged up leg so Jamie puts on a leglock as the world’s only WE WANT CHUCK chant starts up. A flapjack finally puts Jamie down though and there’s the hot tag to Chuck. House is cleaned and Billy manages to get up top for the Code Red (bit of a stretch there) for the pin on Tajiri (who was on Chuck’s shoulders for a LONG time before Billy was ready).

Rating: C+. That’s your standard tag team formula and it’s going to work no matter how many times we see it. They managed to get Chuck Palumbo a chant with the most basic tag team match you can put together. There’s a reason it’s a classic and it’s going to work as long as wrestling is around.

Post match the women get into it again and Torrie spanks Nidia.

Funaki interviews Brock Lesnar and asks him if he’s going to give Undertaker a rematch. Brock will give him an answer in the ring. Funaki is thrilled with getting a scoop and doesn’t realize he’s likely about to die.

Kurt Angle comes in to see Stephanie and they reminisce about the Stinkface. Angle would like a rematch against Chris Benoit but Stephanie has something else in mind. Rey Mysterio pops up and Angle asks if this is a violation of child labor laws. Stephanie’s big idea: a triple threat match between Mysterio, Angle and Benoit. Angle says he’ll get the 1-2-3 but Rey says it’s more like the 6-1-9, which the fans certainly approve of.

Here’s Funaki with the chair that was dented over Lesnar’s head at Unforgiven. After Funaki actually gets one heck of a pop (I’m as shocked as you are), Lesnar comes out and doesn’t want to hear about the Undertaker. Brock shoves him into the corner and for reasons of general stupidity, Funaki comes out swinging. A running right hand is easily countered into an STO, followed by a few throws and an F5 for good measure.

Dawn Marie offers Torrie some insincere praise for the win, though everyone knows Dawn would have beaten her with ease.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Edge

No DQ. Eddie starts hammering away until a monkey flip puts him down. The fans are all over Eddie as he easily breaks up a keylock. An elbow to the head drops Edge and Eddie hits some rather hard right hands. We hit a chinlock for a bit before Edge snaps off a powerslam, only to take too long getting to the top.

That means a huge superplex to give Eddie two and it’s time to head outside. Unfortunately it’s also time for a ladder and that means a ref bump as the ladder goes straight into his face (looked great actually). Back in and Eddie unloads on him with a chair but misses the frog splash to put both guys down.

We come back from a break with a new referee and the second only now being taken to the back. That’s really not a good response time. Edge gets in the half nelson faceplant but takes too much time going up, allowing Eddie to snap off a hurricanrana for a close two. A springboard hurricanrana is countered into a sitout powerbomb with Eddie’s head bouncing off the mat in a scary visual.

The ladder is brought in but it’s also knocked into Edge’s face to drop the Canadian again. That means Eddie needs a second ladder so he can sandwich Edge together, setting up the slingshot hilo. Guerrero gets one heck of a cheer from the crowd and it’s really hard to blame him with how hard they’re beating each other up out there.

Eddie goes up the ladder but Edge is there to slug it out…..so Eddie sunset powerbombs him off with one of the biggest bumps you’ll see on regular TV. Edge just got folded up and it looked awesome. That’s good for another respectful round of applause and somehow only two. In almost any other match, that should have been the fall.

Back up again and Edge backdrops him into the ladder in the corner before they climb the second ladder a second time. You know, because it ended so well earlier. This time Edge rams him face first into the top a few times and grabs an Edgecution off the ladder (looked a bit more like a superplex for the sake of clearing the ladder but the landing still looked great) for the pin and one last big reaction from the crowd.

Rating: A. Sometimes you need a great story with all kinds of intricacies and plot details. Sometimes you need a big climax to a major story. Then sometimes you need two incredibly talented wrestlers doing crazy things to each other involving a ladder. This was spectacular with both guys absolutely destroying each other with one more big spot after another. Nothing was topping that sunset powerbomb though and I think everyone knew it. Edge winning the match (and in theory the feud) is the right call and Eddie didn’t lose a thing here. Aside from the match of course. This is on multiple DVDs and it’s easy to see why.

A bloody Eddie gets the big respectful ovation, which he more than earned.

Marc Lloyd comes up to ask Benoit about the main event. Benoit: “YOU SUCK!” That got a good laugh. Anyway Benoit is ready.

Matt Hardy talks about running Hurricane off and suggests he’ll do the same thing to Undertaker tonight. Shannon Moore isn’t convinced and thinks it might have had something to do with Brock. Hardy pshaw’s him and leaves with Lesnar looking on. Good thing he was watching the show on a monitor and knew where Matt’s locker room was in relation to his.

Wrestlemania XIX press conference video. It’s very, very odd to see Undertaker in a collared shirt and pants.

Undertaker vs. Matt Hardy

I always liked the version of Undertaker’s song with lyrics. Matt’s handshake doesn’t go how he’d hope it would and the beating is on early. Hardy gets up an elbow in the corner though and starts in on the knee but the Twist of Fate is countered into a chokeslam. The Last Ride finishes Matt in less than two minutes.

Post match Lesnar runs out and busts Undertaker open again with a belt shot. During the break, Undertaker couldn’t stand up and EGADS he’s covered in blood. That’s one heck of a blade job for a TV show.

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

Before the match, Angle accuses Rey’s fans of being illegal immigrants. The real threat in this match isn’t the toothless weirdo or the lost member of Menudo because it’s your Olympic hero. Rey takes over to start and hits the sitout bulldog on Benoit while kicking Angle in the face at the same time.

That earns Rey a trip out to the floor so Angle and Benoit can hit the match for their usual fast paced sequence. Kurt can’t get the ankle but settles for a two count with his feet on the ropes. Rey comes back in and avoids a charge to send Kurt shoulder first into the post. Not that it matters as Benoit is right there for a German suplex.

Chris throws Rey to the floor but gets chopped n the corner by a fresh Angle. We hit the rolling German suplexes and an Angle Slam on Benoit but Rey dropkicks Kurt for two. Benoit is sent outside this time and Rey scores with a dive, only to have Angle send him into the barricade.

Back in and Benoit gets his ankle locked until he grabs the rope, setting up a double 619. Angle blocks the West Coast Pop but gets rolled up for two more. Now it’s Kurt getting caught in the Crossface but Rey breaks it up by Dropping the Time for a VERY close two on Benoit. Angle gets suplexed to the floor and Benoit throws Rey over his head and onto the ropes, only to have Rey springboard into the West Coast Pop for the pin to blow the roof off the place.

Rating: A-. I’m exhausted after watching that. I didn’t skip more than a few moves here and there and all three guys came off looking outstanding. It’s a great example of just letting people do crazy sequences and look awesome all over the place. I’m going to need a little time to get over the idea that Mysterio won in his hometown. When was that concept banned? Anyway, check this one out after you see Eddie vs. Edge.

Overall Rating: A+. That’s probably the best Smackdown of all time and I’d be surprised if anything ever topped it. The worst match of the night was either Undertaker destroying Matt Hardy or a surprisingly good Rikishi vs. Chavo match. Even if you’re not impressed with that one, it didn’t even break five minutes. Throw in two classics and Torrie in a rather nice looking swimsuit and I don’t know what else you could ask for. Check this show out and have a great time with it because it might be the best Smackdown I’ve ever seen.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: September 19, 2002
Location: World Arena, Colorado Springs, Colorado
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Unforgiven and that means we’ll be getting some more of Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar. At the same time though, you can really see the Smackdown Six being built up before our eyes and that’s nothing but good. If we can get a few ten minute matches with some outstanding action here and there in between the Eric Bischoff vs. Stephanie McMahon nonsense, everything should be fine. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of the wedding because that’s the top story at the moment since it involves the feuding bosses.

Opening sequence.

Rey Mysterio/Torrie Wilson vs. Nidia/Jamie Noble

Torrie looks outstanding here, as in even moreso than usual. Nidia slaps her in the face to start and gets caught in a neckbreaker (normally Torrie’s finisher) for two. It’s off to Jamie to take Torrie to the mat but she brings Rey in almost immediately. Rey gets planted on his face but gets in the sitout bulldog for two. Nidia keeps validating her employment by distracting Rey so Noble can get in a hard clothesline. Everything breaks down and Torrie gives Nidia a Bronco Buster for the pop of the match. Noble offers to take one of his own so of course it’s Rey doing it instead. The 619 into a Code Red puts Noble away.

Rating: C. I know the women weren’t exactly the best in the world at this point but the ending accomplished its goal and the Bronco Buster spot was all it needed to be. I’ll gladly take this over the champion getting pinned all over again. To be fair though I had almost forgotten that Noble was champion in the first place. Also, Mysterio goes from a classic opener against Kurt Angle at Summerslam and can’t even get on Unforgiven?

D-Von yells at Stephanie about Batista so Stephanie collects his balls. Paul Heyman comes in and says he’s brought in some off duty police officers to guard Lesnar. They might not be necessary though as Undertaker had to take his wife Sara to the hospital for false labor. He’s on his way here though and Heyman is distraught. Lesnar seems pleased though.

Here’s Stephanie in the arena because we haven’t seen her recently enough. You don’t screw with McMahons because they always get even in the end. That means a clip of the women’s protest on Monday and another to set up 3 Minute Warning vs. Billy and Chuck on Sunday. As for the stipulations, she’ll address those when she and Bischoff have a face to face video chat later tonight (OF COURSE there’s a big segment for that story later) but for now, here are Billy and Chuck.

Billy says it’s time to set the record straight….so to speak. Maybe he could keep teaming with Chuck or maybe he could work on a singles career. Chuck: “So you’re saying you go both ways?” Cue Kurt Angle of all people to say this sounds like a bad episode of Three’s Company.

Angle made some publicity of his own back in 1996 and he didn’t do it by making out with Carl Lewis. Kurt insists that he’s not gay and he has no problem with anyone who is because gays love him. Angle: “I’m freaking adorable!” A tag match is made for later and Stephanie gives Angle Chris Benoit as a partner. Angle is so freaked out that he keeps making unintentional gay jokes, such as that being a hard one to swallow. More greatness from Angle.

Security won’t come out to the ring with Lesnar because they weren’t hired to work in the arena.

Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena

Non-title and something that would be a bit different today. Like Cena would be wearing jean shorts while Lesnar squashed him. Lesnar forearms him in the back of the head to start and hits the first overhead belly to belly. Brock starts pounding him in the back and gets two off a delayed vertical suplex. A waistlock has Cena in even more trouble as the very slow pace continues. Brock stays on the ribs for a bit longer, shrugs off the comeback, and finishes with the F5.

Rating: D. What the heck happened to Cena? He was the hottest rookie around for a long time (possibly even hotter than Brock, or at least showing more fire) and now I can’t even remember the last time he won a match. It doesn’t help that he never really had a character so there wasn’t exactly anywhere for him to go. Lesnar vs. Undertaker still isn’t looking interesting but at least they’re doing something with the feud to try and get it somewhere.

Video on Rikishi, who was shot back in 1986. Ok then.

Video on Undertaker, who really doesn’t need a video package. At least it’s set to Adrenaline by Gavin Rossdale, which I’ve always liked.

Eddie Guerrero wants revenge on Edge for the Stinkface. If that means more Edge vs. Eddie, I guess I can live with it.

Eddie Guerrero/Chavo Guerrero vs. Edge/Rikishi

Chavo slaps Rikishi to start in what is apparently a show of disrespect, because Rikishi is someone to be respected all of a sudden. Edge comes in to take over without much effort but gets sent to the floor where he has to avoid a chair shot from Eddie. The cousins start in on the back and of course we get some classic cheating because that’s what Guerreros do.

Edge gets in a powerslam but Eddie cheap shots Rikishi to prevent the hot tag. I love how so many of those spots have been used for the better part of twenty years and simply do not get old. A tornado DDT is broken up and the hot tag brings in Rikishi to clean house. We get the double crush in the corner but only Chavo takes the Stinkface. Eddie bails to the floor so Chavo hits Rikishi with a TV camera for the pin.

Rating: C-. Rikishi is fine for the hot tag stuff but I still don’t see why he’s in this spot and the story about him being shot really didn’t do much to get him to another level. Eddie vs. Edge is still good and the idea of Eddie not liking him due to Edge being considered a pretty boy is more than fine.

Post match Eddie chairs Edge in the face to cut him open.

It’s time for the Stephanie vs. Bischoff sitdown interview with Stephanie getting to be all smug over kicking Eric low on Monday. Bischoff laughs it off and loves the idea of Stephanie having to perform HLA if Billy and Chuck lose on Sunday. Stephanie accepts and says she’s not even worried about Billy and Chuck losing (What confidence!) because she might just enjoy HLA. In other words, no matter what happens, Stephanie doesn’t lose. Well of course she doesn’t.

Matt Hardy vs. The Hurricane

Hurricane is just in tights here with no sleeveless shirt on. Matt has something to say before the match but a WE WANT JEFF chant cuts him off. A quick rollup gives Matt two and the Jeff chants throw him off again. Hurricane grabs a victory roll for his own two and does his pose, earning himself a right hand to the jaw. The announcers try to figure out what Matt Hardy Version I means as Hurricane can’t hit the chokeslam.

A Ricochet gets two on Hurricane as the fans switch over to wanting Lita. Hurricane’s neckbreaker drops Matt and now the announcers want Undertaker to shot up and pummel Hardy. The Shining Wizard gets two on Matt as this is WAY better than I was expecting. Matt grabs a quick Side Effect and sneaks in a low blow to set up the Twist of Fate for the pin.

Rating: B-. It’s amazing what happens when you let these North Carolina guys get together. This was a really fun match with both guys trading good looking moves until Matt cheated to win. It made for some entertaining stuff and while the announcers got annoying (as expected), that’s what you can expect from Smackdown.

Heyman thinks Undertaker is waiting on Lesnar so they’re not leaving.

We run down Sunday’s card and it’s still not very interesting.

Billy and Chuck vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit

Angle and Benoit don’t get along. Billy and Benoit start things off but Chris chops Angle for a tag. The team that actually gets along takes over on Kurt and Benoit finds this very amusing. Billy’s tilt-a-whirl slam gets two but Billy poses a bit too much, allowing Benoit to get in a cheap shot. It’s off to Benoit for the rolling German suplexes as this really isn’t the way you want to treat your new top face tag team.

Billy finally avoids a charge from Benoit and gives Kurt the One and Only, setting up the hot tag. Chuck cleans as much house as Chuck Palumbo is going to be able to do before getting caught in the ankle lock. That’s not cool with Benoit who throws Angle away so he can put Chuck in the Crossface. Billy makes the save, meaning Chuck should have gotten beaten twice. Chuck gets in a superkick on Benoit for the pin.

Rating: D+. What the heck was that? I mean, Billy and Chuck are going into the semi-main event at Unforgiven (it’s gotten WAY more hype than anything other than the two World Title matches and you could easily argue it’s beaten both of those) and this is the best you can do for them? They couldn’t beat up some thrown together team for their big face debut? Speaking of them being faces, why is that the case? Their big moment was admitting they were lying to the fans and then they stand up for Stephanie or whatever and now they’re fan favorites? That’s really not impressive.

Benoit and Angle trade submissions post match, making Billy and Chuck look even more worthless.

Undertaker arrives with ten minutes left in the show.

Here’s Undertaker to the ring for the last minute hard sell. He calls Lesnar out and gets his wish in a hurry with Heyman not being able to hold him back. Undertaker starts slugging away as Heyman calls out the troops. That means Matt Hardy, who takes the beating on Lesnar’s behalf. Undertaker chases after Lesnar, who has been arrested and put into protective custody. What a lame ending.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a good show on its own but a pretty horrible go home show. To be fair though that’s because Unforgiven is a miserable pay per view and really doesn’t need to exist at this point. Lesnar vs. Undertaker isn’t going to be worth seeing and the build is showing it more every week. There was enough good wrestling tonight to make the show work but the pay per view just isn’t interesting and there’s no way around it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

https://wrestlingrumors.net/new-name-announced-wwe-hall-fame-class-2017/

Works for me.  Long is one of those lifers in wrestling and he deserves something like this.  Teddy joins the Rock N Roll Express and Kurt Angle in the 2017 Class.

Smackdown
Date: September 5, 2002
Location: Resch Center Arena, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s hard to say what to expect here but hopefully it’s another rocking tag match with some talented people getting to show what they can do instead of jobbing to Undertaker after a former World Champion’s finisher doesn’t have much of an effect. Oh and we get the debut of Crash Holly for reasons I don’t even want to think about. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week, which somehow gets to be narrated by Stephanie. Dang they’re getting right to the point this week. Anyway, Undertaker is challenging Brock Lesnar at Unforgiven.

Opening sequence.

Billy vs. Rey Mysterio

A very early Rico distraction (those sideburns are mesmerizing) lets Billy jump Rey and choke in the corner. The tilt-a-whirl powerslam plants Rey and Tazz makes gay jokes. Rey gets in his first offense with a dropkick to the knee so Billy clotheslines his head off, making sure that Mysterio has nothing of note so far. Rico cheats a bit more so the fans are all over him, making Rico the best thing about the match so far. More shots to the back keep Rey in trouble but a springboard dropkick sets up the 619 with Chuck making the save. That means Billy gets to work Rey over even more until Mysterio gets a fluke cradle for the pin.

Rating: D. So Mysterio can go move for move with Kurt Angle in a classic but can barely get in a dropkick on Billy Gunn of all people? This is almost entirely on Billy as he just wasn’t giving Rey anything to work with and it showed horribly. It’s ok to let Mysterio get in a little offense, get taken down, let the comeback go on for a bit and have the co-villains cheat so Rey can do the big comeback at the end. It’s called having a match with a story but this was all about Billy working Rey over without much effort.

Post match Rico tells Chuck it’s time….and he proposes to Billy because he wants to be tag team partners for life. Note that the word “marry”, “husband” or “I love you” are never mentioned. Billy says yes and hugging ensues.

Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble vs. Shannon Moore

Shannon is challenging after pinning Jamie in some recent tag matches. The battle of wristlockery start things off until Shannon armdrags him down. Nidia grabs a leg but Shannon dropkicks the champ to the floor anyway. Back in and a harder clothesline than you would expect from a cruiserweight match puts Shannon back down and a belly to back gets two.

Of course the fans would rather talk about Nidia’s puppies because Raw featured a match talking about Molly Holly’s hymen, meaning you can’t quite blame them at this point. That’s what WWE has deemed acceptable from its employees so don’t act surprised when no one cares about your matches as a result. Moore elbows him in the jaw and gets a near fall of his own off a neckbreaker. A Whisper in the Wind gets the same but Jamie counters a hurricanrana with a powerbomb. The Tiger Bomb retains the title.

Rating: C+. Good match here but the fans didn’t care because WWE has given us no reason to care about them. Just because there’s good wrestling out there, no one is going to notice because WWE has made us care more about the women at ringside. I’m not sure what it means that Nidia is possibly treated with more respect than the women on Raw but it seems to be the case.

Paul Heyman is hyping Brock Lesnar up for his match with Randy Orton when Randy comes up and says absolutely nothing of note.

Edge and Rikishi are ready for a six man tag later and Rikishi actually tries to explain how the Stinkface is a symbol or something. Piece of the Kish still isn’t a good catchphrase.

Brock Lesnar vs. Randy Orton

Non-title and one of those matches that would be totally different just a few years later. Also Lesnar is now WWE Champion instead of Undisputed Champion as continuity takes another hit for the sake of pulling a title out of a briefcase. Orton charges straight at him and actually gets two off a rollup. That just means an overhead belly to belly though and Brock is already smiling.

Brock throws him over the top and hits an STO back inside. He throws Orton onto his shoulders and drives Randy back first into the buckle over and over as this is a total squash. Heyman: “HE WANTS THIS!” A dropkick to the ribs staggers Lesnar and Orton gets in the backbreaker. For reasons of general stupidity, he heads up top for the high crossbody but gets rolled through into the F5 for the pin.

Rating: C-. Is there something in the water over on Monday Night Raw? You can have Brock roll through people like this on Smackdown but Raw’s big solution is to have him sell for people and need Heyman to save him all the time? Ever since he’s gone to Smackdown he’s been treated like the monster he’s supposed to be and it’s made him a hundred times more interesting.

Mark Henry congratulates Billy and Chuck.

Crash signs his contract and thanks Stephanie when D-Von comes in. The Reverend is upset about Billy and Chuck but again we never heard the word wedding or marriage. He talks about how immoral is it but OF COURSE Stephanie cuts him off for not showing her enough respect. The ceremony is next week, D-Von faces Batista later and just in case you forgot, Stephanie is the most amazing and intimidating person ever.

Tajiri vs. Mark Henry

Tajiri’s kicks and strikes have the effect you would expect them to have and it’s time for the slow beating. The handspring elbow is knocked out of the air and Tajiri’s sunset flip has no effect at all. A running dropkick to the head works a bit better but Henry shrugs it off and powerslams him for the pin.

Rating: D. Hey, did you know that Henry is really strong? Like, REALLY strong? To the point that he can bend frying pans and is barely hurt by someone kicking him really hard in the head? I’m still not sure who is supposed to be impressed by Henry squashing a member of the cruiserweight division, which is often treated as a bunch of second class citizens in the first place.

Stephanie moderates a sitdown interview (in the back without much light) between Undertaker and Lesnar. After making it clear that they’re both EXCLUSIVE to Smackdown, she throws it to Brock who lists off his career accomplishments. Undertaker laughs off the idea of a young pup like Brock beating him because no one has ever taken Brock where Undertaker is taking him. Undertaker promises to beat Brock up for the first time but Heyman makes it personal by bringing up Undertaker’s wife Sara being pregnant.

If anything happens to Undertaker, he’ll take care of Sara but not the unborn child. The table it turned over and nothing happens. This was WAY too long and it really didn’t make me want to see the match any more than I already did. Granted I checked out when Stephanie started talking about how this was a Smackdown exclusive because it might be the least important detail since….oh whatever the name of whatever award/honor Stephanie has most recently won.

Reverend D-Von vs. Batista

Batista has what would be his theme song for years and the red trunks instead of the gray one he had been wearing. D-Von jumps him to start and gets in a quick chair shot, only to take a Batista Bomb for the pin in a minute and a half. The man that pinned John Cena clean last week everyone!

Nidia talks about the wedding next week (using the word for the first time) and asks Jamie if they’ll get married one day. Jamie hugs her and panics.

Matt Hardy brags about going toe to toe with Brock but Shannon isn’t all that impressed. Hardcore Holly, Matt’s opponent tonight, wants to know where the footage of Matt losing has gotten to.

Eddie Guerrero and Kurt Angle are ready for their six man tag tonight. Angle is annoyed at Benoit for costing him the #1 contendership so Benoit comes in and we have a staredown.

Matt Hardy vs. Hardcore Holly

They trade rollups for two to start before opting to just punch each other in the face. Tazz would rather talk about cheese jokes (Wisconsin remember.) as Holly gets two off a belly to back suplex. A backbreaker sets up a belly to back superplex, only to have Matt knock him away and get two off a moonsault press. The Side Effect gets the same but Holly gets two of his own with a powerbomb. Neither finisher can hit so Hardy grabs a rollup, only to be reversed into another one with Holly grabbing the tights for the pin.

Rating: C+. Surprisingly good match here but I’m not sure I get the point of having Matt lose over and over when he’s getting a push with the Shannon Moore stuff. Holly isn’t great but at least he’s good for a watchable match. Matt can play the heck out of these over the top characters with huge egos and that’s what we’re getting with the Mattitude stuff.

Rico doesn’t have time to talk because he has wedding plans to set up. He’s going to be Billy’s best man.

Crash vs. Hurricane

They circle each other to start until Hurricane puts him in a Tree of Woe for a good crotching. The high crossbody gets two on Crash, followed by the Eye of the Hurricane for the same. Holly misses a charge into the post and takes a super swinging neckbreaker (that’s always looked cool) to put both guys down. The chokeslam is countered into a rollup so Crash can impress Stephanie or whatever.

Rating: D+. So now we’re to the point where we’re jobbing talented guys like the Hurricane to validate Stephanie’s investments? This is a situation where it would have been better to just have Crash show up on Smackdown one night and say he changed brands off camera. There was no need to make this a story other than for the sake of more Stephanie vs. Bischoff nonsense.

Edge/Undertaker/Rikishi vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit/Eddie Guerrero

These are the six people from the series of matches last weeks if the reasoning isn’t clear. Rikishi and Angle gets things going and I’ll spare you the normal “why is Rikishi here” question. Thankfully it’s quickly off to Undertaker for a big boot but it’s way too early for a chokeslam. Instead Benoit comes in and kicks away in the corner, only to get tossed into the corner for his efforts.

Rikishi comes back in to far too strong of a pop and gives Benoit a sitout Rock Bottom before throwing him into Angle. Edge gets a slightly weaker pop as he goes after Eddie, who takes over off the strength of some double teaming. The heels keep Edge in trouble with the rapid tags and it’s Angle grabbing a chinlock.

An Edgecution gets Edge out of trouble and the hot tag brings in Undertaker to clean house. Rikishi gets in a belly to belly on Angle and superkicks Benoit, leaving Angle to take the Stinkface. Angle and Benoit have a quick collision so Chris puts him in the Crossface. Eddie is furious….and surrounded. The OH NO look on Eddie’s face when he realizes what’s going on is perfect and his trying to chill with Rikishi is even better. The spear sets up Eddie’s face being shoved into the thong, followed by a chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: C+. If you put Rikishi in some tights or even regular trunks, this doesn’t feel nearly as awkward. They did their thing here with the villains looking slightly more inept than they should. Benoit vs. Angle should be fun but that doesn’t make for the best tag match in the world. Edge has kind of fallen through the cracks in recent weeks and his feud with Eddie needs a boost as they barely interact directly.

Overall Rating: D+. This depends on what you find more important. The wrestling is a little better this week but the booking is atrocious, with things like Crash Holly getting a story, Billy and Chuck’s impending shenanigans, John Cena being sacrificed to D-Von of all people and Hardcore Holly beating Matt Hardy. There’s so much that can be great around here but as usual, WWE seems more interested in doing the least logical and interesting things as possible.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: August 29, 2002
Location: Mohegan Sun Hotel and Casino, Uncasville, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re past Summerslam and Smackdown now has their own World Champion as Stephanie (cue the chorus) has signed Brock Lesnar to an exclusive deal. How exactly she can do this isn’t clear but my guess is SHE’S STEPHANIE MCMAHON AND SPOKE IN A LOUD VOICE because that renders everyone powerless. Let’s get to it.

We open with a quick look at Lesnar winning the title.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Stephanie to open us up (of course) and she’s already bragging about how awesome Smackdown is because of Lesnar. Since Eric Bischoff’s #1 contenders match means nothing, we’re going to have a series of single elimination matches to crown a new #1 contender. She brings out Edge (Stephanie: “WOO! I’ll scream if I want it.”) and Eddie Guerrero but doesn’t make it clear if this is a tournament or gauntlet or something else.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Edge

Eddie fires off right hands but walks into a flapjack, followed by the half nelson facebuster. Edge charges into an elbow in the corner and Eddie starts back in on the arm. Careful Eddie: you might make him spear you with no consequences again. With nothing else working, Edge suplexes him over the top for a good looking crash, followed by a slightly less good looking dive.

Back in and Eddie grabs a superplex as Cole says the winner of this series of matches gets the title shot. Again: more details on what that means would be nice but we’re not likely to get them are we? Edge comes back with a powerbomb of all things and both guys are down. The Edge-O-Matic gets two but Eddie slips out of the Edgecution and grabs a couple of chairs. Ever the schnook, the referee takes one of them out, allowing Eddie to block a spear with the other one. The frog splash puts Edge away and advances Eddie to….whatever the next step of this thing is.

Rating: B-. You know these two are going to have good matches together and this being kept shorter made for a tighter match. Edge is benefiting greatly from having matches against guys like Eddie and Benoit as he’s getting much sharper in the ring. That’s the kind of thing that is always going to benefit young wrestlers and can’t be overstated.

Matt Hardy asks Stephanie if he’s next to face Eddie but she announces Rikishi as Eddie’s next opponent. So it’s a gauntlet?

John Cena vs. Reverend D-Von

No Batista this week. D-Von throws his coat at Cena to start and hammers away before grabbing a neckbreaker for no cover. A suplex and powerslam give D-Von two and he cuts off Cena’s comeback with the spinning elbow to the jaw. The flying headbutt misses but D-Von grabs the inverted reverse DDT for the completely clean pin.

Rating: D. What in the world was the point of that? D-Von can’t even cheat to beat someone with Cena’s potential? This was cutting Cena’s leg off and leaving him with little to do for the sake of giving D-Von a clean pin. That’s one of the more confusing booking decisions I’ve seen in a long time and I really don’t get it.

Batista comes in and lays D-Von out with a Batista Bomb (which Cole calls a gutwrench powerbomb). Soooooo……that’s why Cena lost? To set up Batista vs. D-Von? Really?

Rey Mysterio vs. Rico

Mysterio starts fast and sends Rico outside, followed by a dive onto Billy and Chuck. The innocent bystanders are sent to the back for no apparent reason, leaving Rico to start firing off kicks. A sitout powerslam of all things plants Rey as Rico is getting to show off for the first time in WWE. Two Amigos into a Falcon Arrow (a type of powerbomb according to Tazz) gets two more and there’s another powerslam. Rico misses a VERY long moonsault and Rey starts his comeback with the usual. A double springboard moonsault gives Rey two and it’s the 619 into the West Coast Pop for the pin.

Rating: B-. I’m one of the bigger Rico fans you’ll ever meet and this is more proof that they wasted a lot of potential with him. I watched him in OVW and was far more impressed by him than Cena as Rico just got it so much faster. He had the look, the in ring work and the work ethic but he got stuck with this horrible gimmick and that’s all he’s remembered for doing.

Hardcore Holly is turned down for a spot in the #1 contender series in favor of Stephanie answering a phone call.

Video on Chris Benoit.

Here’s the Smackdown Your Vote video from Raw.

Stephanie is trying to get someone to jump to Raw when Matt comes in to ask for a spot in the series again, eventually cutting off her call to get an answer. He gets Brock Lesnar instead. I do love the fact that the story of the show is “let’s all beg Stephanie for favors”.

Rikishi wants a rematch with Lesnar and tries to get “piece of the Kish” over as a catchphrase. Eddie comes in to laugh at him and suggests the thong is on too tight.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rikishi

Rikishi starts fast but can’t get the Stinkface. Eddie goes after the knee and kicks it into the steps before kicking at it even more back inside. We hit the leglock for a bit with Eddie very slowly cranking away. Rikishi fights up, crushes Eddie in the corner, and finishes him with a superkick (with the bad leg).

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as Rikishi’s odd push WAY above his level of importance continues. For the life of me I don’t get why he’s getting pushed like this but I guess they don’t have anyone else to go with here. It’s not like Matt Hardy or anyone is right there for the same spot.

Chris Benoit runs in to help with a beatdown on Rikishi but Edge makes the save.

Here’s a video mocking Major League Baseball’s strike.

Stephanie rips into Benoit for attacking Rikishi and punishes him by….giving him a match with the injured Rikishi. So she’s loud, basically a heel, and really stupid too.

Tajiri vs. Shannon Moore

Jamie Noble, Nidia and Hurricane are at ringside as well. They start fast with Shannon grabbing a quick rollup for two, earning himself a hard kick to the back. A chinlock doesn’t go anywhere so Tajiri puts him in a reverse Tree of Woe for a baseball slide to the back of the head. It’s off to a cobra clutch for a bit until Moore fights up and gets two off a running neckbreaker. One heck of a German suplex gives Tajiri two and it’s time for the seconds to get in a fight. Moore grabs a rollup for the upset.

Rating: C-. Not much of a match but well done at building up a challenger for Noble. The division is hardly the best in the world but they’re putting a few things together, which is better than you would expect. At least Moore is a fresh name and that’s a good sign. I mean, none of it matters as soon as Mysterio goes after the title but I like it better than just having Noble sit on the belt for months.

Rikishi vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit stomps him down in the corner to start but a Samoan drop gets Rikishi out of trouble. It seems to hurt his shoulder though and there’s the Crossface. A rope grab only sets up a second Crossface and Rikishi is done. Yeah Stephanie! You show Benoit by giving him a two and a half minute match against an injured opponent! Benoit is now going on to the final match in the series.

Kurt Angle apologizes to the other six dwarfs for beating Mysterio at Summerslam. He’s going to be Benoit’s opponent in the final match. The crowd sounds VERY interested at the idea of Angle vs. Lesnar.

Funaki wants to interview Brock Lesnar but Paul Heyman will have none of that. Matt Hardy comes up instead and says he’ll take Lesnar out. From here on, it’s WWE Mattitude.

Brock Lesnar vs. Matt Hardy

Non-title and Brock isn’t wasting time here as he takes Hardy outside and sends him back first into the post. Back in and we hit the shoulders to the ribs, followed by the overhead belly to belly suplex. Matt makes a quick comeback and posts Lesnar, followed by a dropkick to send him into the corner. That’s about it though as the Twist of Fate is countered into the F5 for the pin.

Rating: C. See, now this made him look like a force. This was the kind of squash that Lesnar hasn’t had enough of in his brief run and it made him look like a monster. It’s a pin over someone with some credibility who can sell the heck out of the F5. Good match here and Matt can bounce back with a few funny promos, especially after getting beaten by someone he had no business beating.

Brock isn’t done and powerbombs the heck out of Matt.

Whoever Stephanie was talking to has signed with Smackdown. They’ll be debuting in the main event, which is now a triple threat. Did you know Stephanie was all powerful?

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle vs. Undertaker

One more Stephanie cameo as she introduces Undertaker, which actually does make sense here as this is a major moment. It’s seeing her all the other time that it’s not necessary. Undertaker shrugs off some double teaming to start (duh) but misses a big boot and crotches himself on the ropes. A few kicks to the leg put Undertaker on the floor, leaving Benoit and Angle to do exactly what you would expect Benoit and Angle to do.

Kurt snaps off some German suplexes but Benoit comes right back with a few of his own. Benoit whips him into the corner and flips Angle over with a release German suplex, only to have Undertaker dive back in for the save at two. Angle is sent outside and it’s time for more chairs, one of which goes square onto Undertaker’s head. Not that it matters as he’s back on his feet about thirty seconds later so Benoit grabs a German suplex. That’s no sold as well as Undertaker gets in a chokeslam, only to have Angle make the save with the ankle lock.

Kurt gets sent to the floor so Benoit puts on the Crossface with Angle coming back in for an ankle lock at the same time. That’s not enough for a tap so Benoit and Angle trade submissions, thankfully with Undertaker actually staying down for a good while off the double submission. Benoit kicks off the ankle lock to send Kurt into a botched rollup for no count. The Angle Slam drops Undertaker again but he’s back to his feet ELEVEN SECONDS LATER for the Last Ride and pin on Benoit.

Rating: B. I criticized Edge’s non-selling against Eddie at Summerslam but this was a good bit worse. You don’t take a double submission from two former World Champions and then no sell another finisher by being up in about ten seconds. If you just have to give Undertaker the title shot (and who better to give it to than a guy who beat TEST on Sunday and then lost on Monday), there are better ways to do it. Like, have Undertaker sell some stuff.

The problem is this match was all backwards. Angle and Benoit wrestled like a pair of faces with all the effort and speed while Undertaker just snuck in and stole the pin. Undertaker did sell earlier in the match but then just turned it off and won the match like Benoit was nothing in the end. Then again, Stephanie is their boss so the whole face/heel dynamic is screwed up on Smackdown in general.

Overall Rating: C. This is a very hard to rate show as the wrestling was mostly fine but the Stephanie stuff is just excruciating. It really does feel like she’s the main character of the show and we’re just stuck sitting around waiting to see what HUGE move she makes next and how she’s trying to screw Raw over next while yelling at any wrestler, often for doing what she says. She’s really taking a lot of the fun away from what could be a great show and that’s very bad.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Who will take the final Royal Rumble spots and who won’t?

http://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-elite-eight/

Summerslam 2002
Date: August 25, 2002
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 14,797
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Jim Ross

It’s very rare that a Summerslam is the biggest show of the year but that might be the case in 2002. Wrestlemania XVIII was in a much bigger venue and had a much bigger top match but as far as a whole card goes from top to bottom, this might have it beaten. The big matches here are Brock Lesnar challenging the Rock for the Undisputed Title and HHH vs. Shawn Michaels in a grudge match with Shawn making his first in-ring appearance since 1998. Let’s get to it.

Not much of an opening video other than the theme song over shots of the crowd.

Opening sequence.

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

Rey showed Angle up recently and Kurt wants to prove that it’s just a fluke. Angle’s singlet looks like a barber pole and Rey sneaks in from behind with a springboard ankle scissors. The ankle lock goes on in less than thirty seconds but Rey sends him into the ropes with Kurt having to duck the 619.

A hard wheelbarrow suplex sends Rey hard onto the mat and one heck of a clothesline gives Angle two. Rey’s back is bent around the middle rope and Angle is getting a bit too cocky. A one legged Liontamer has Mysterio in even more trouble but a rollup gives him a fast two. Rey is certainly sticking around well enough so far.

That just ticks Angle off though and he throws Rey with a belly to belly. Kurt misses a charge though and goes sailing over the top but the referee won’t let Mysterio fly. That’s fine with Rey who flips OVER THE REFEREE to take Kurt down. The fans are losing their mind and Rey Dropping the Dime (springboard legdrop) for two makes them even worse. Now the 619 connects and the West Coast Pop is good for a VERY near fall. Rey puts him on top for a super hurricanrana but Angle slips out and grabs the ankle lock for the submission at 9:20.

Rating: A-. What a match. This is one of the best opening matches in company history as they just do not stop for the better part of ten minutes. It’s an outstanding performance with Rey getting his big breakout performance and Angle showing that he’s still one of the best in the world.

Stephanie McMahon brags about that match and tells a production guy to tell Eric Bischoff about it. She goes into her office and….there’s Eric, who seems to be sharing the office with her. I’m sure comedy and drama will ensue.

Ric Flair vs. Chris Jericho

Standard “you’re old and it’s my time so get out” feud with the required broken guitars to ruin a mid-show concert segment as well. This is actually Flair’s in-ring debut at Summerslam. Feeling out process to start and we hear about Jericho becoming the first ever Undisputed Champion. JR: “Not too many people can claim that.” Yeah Jim. I think it’s like, one or so.

Jericho misses an elbow drop and the chops start flying. They head outside with Jericho sending him into the barricade, followed by a middle rope dropkick for two back inside. Some suplexes stay on Flair’s back so you certainly can’t fault Jericho’s psychology. This time it’s Jericho taking too much time going up though and Flair slams him right back down.

The Walls are countered into a small package for two but Jericho goes extra evil by grabbing the Figure Four (I said evil, not original). In a creative save, Flair grabs the rope and then taps out, which means the hold is broken and the submission doesn’t count. The referee gets bumped and it’s a low blow into the Figure Four to make Jericho tap at 10:23.

Rating: C+. This was fine and while I’m not wild on having Flair go over Jericho, at least he lost in a good match to a dirty finish. If nothing else it could mean a whiny Jericho and that’s nothing but entertainment. Oh and Flair low blows are always worth checking out, just for how hard he hits those things.

Ad for a Hogan DVD.

Paul Heyman loves the idea of the Hogan DVD because it looks like they’re trying to squeeze out the final few dollars from his body after Lesnar destroyed him. Tonight, Lesnar destroys the Rock.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Edge

Apparently Eddie is mad that Edge fancies himself a sex symbol. I don’t really remember that being brought up on TV leading up to this match but maybe it was subtext. Eddie snaps the back of Edge’s neck across the top rope and takes over, only to get thrown across the ring.

Edge ties him up in the ropes and hits a spear but a second attempt misses to send the Canadian outside. That might mean a bad shoulder so Eddie sends him into the steps. Back to back DDT’s on the arm including one from the top get two on Edge and we hit a Kimura of all things.

It’s off to a crossface chickenwing and then a top wristlock which is a very good idea. I get so bored watching matches where we get the same hold over and over. There are so many holds that can be used on the same body part so mixing it up like this helps so much. Edge fights back with a one armed slam and a faceplant to send Eddie outside.

It doesn’t take two good arms to dive out to the floor so Edge takes Eddie out all over again. Back in and a super sitout gordbuster gives Edge two more, followed by the Edgecution for the same. Eddie goes right back to the shoulder but walks into the spear (more on that in a second) at 11:47.

Rating: B-. This was going to be much higher until that completely ridiculous ending. Eddie spent eleven minutes working on the arm and then Edge just uses the shoulder for the spear to end the match with nothing more than a flinch? There’s no excuse for that and Edge should know better.

The Un-Americans are ready to give the greedy Americans more. More of the Un-Americans that is.

Tag Team Titles: Goldust/Booker T. vs. Un-Americans

Lance Storm and Christian are defending. Goldust cleans house to start before it’s off to Booker, who JR describes as being “as Americana as Americana can be.” The Canadians are still reeling so Storm throws Goldust over the corner to take over, setting up some of those weird hopping stomps.

Christian gets two on a backbreaker, which JR says works on the back. Something like a Boss Man Slam gets Goldust out of trouble but Christian grabs a front facelock. As you might expect, that means a missed tag so Goldust has to catapult the champions into each other.

That’s STILL not enough for the tag though as the champs knock Booker off the apron, only to miss a Conchairto. The USA chant starts up and there’s the hot tag to Booker who scores with a missile dropkick on Christian. Storm hits the referee by mistake and both champions take the same ax kick. Cue Test to kick Booker’s head off, giving Christian the pin at 9:35.

Rating: C. The match was fine but the ending brought it down a good bit with the standard WWE style finish hurting things a lot. At least we had a good match to get there and the Un-Americans are still fine for heel champions. The Test stuff gets annoying but you had to know it was coming as soon as the ref went down.

There’s a Make Out with Nidia Contest at the World. We’re moving on before that sinks in.

Stephanie and Bischoff debate women’s place in wrestling. McMahon: “It’s like mine: ON TOP!” This turns into a discussion of the Intercontinental Title match and GOOD GRIEF Stephanie’s acting is somehow worse here.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Benoit

This is Raw vs. Smackdown and Benoit is defending. A kick to the leg sends Benoit outside but he comes back in and easily takes Van Dam down until Rob starts spinning around to escape. The release German suplex drops him again though and Benoit starts in on the neck to set up for the Crossface later on.

A Dynamite Kid snap suplex gets two on Van Dam but he avoids the Swan Dive. Chris does the same to the Five Star though and it’s time for the Crossface. The long legs get Van Dam over to the ropes so Benoit shoves him off the top and down onto the barricade for a crash. Benoit cranks on the arms for a bit and slams him head first into the mat to keep Van Dam in trouble.

It’s right back to the Crossface with Van Dam quickly breaking free, only to be sent shoulder first into the post. Some suplexes onto the arm make me realize that Eddie probably should have worked something other than the arm if Benoit, whose finisher is an arm hold, was going to do this.

Another Crossface is about to be broken so Benoit switches into a dragon sleeper of all things. That’s escaped as well and Van Dam’s hair is down in a very rare sight. Rolling Thunder gets two on Benoit but he’s able to crotch Rob on top. You don’t try a belly to back superplex on a high flier though as Rob crossbodies his way out, setting up the Five Star for the pin and the title at 16:22.

Rating: B. Sometimes you just need to have two talented guys go out there and have a match. The shoulder didn’t quite play into the finish but at least Van Dam’s finisher isn’t done with his arm. I liked this more than I was expecting to and that’s always a positive, especially on a show this stacked.

Bischoff gloats so Stephanie laughs at him. WELL OF COURSE SHE DOES! How dare we suggest that Stephanie not have some kind of ace up her sleeve? That’s why people get tired of Stephanie: she almost NEVER has to give up anything and it gets old in a hurry. I’m sure she’s stolen some other talent and Bischoff will be crushed while Stephanie gets to dance around and talk about how great Smackdown and its fans really are.

Video on the Un-Americans to set up Test vs. Undertaker.

Undertaker vs. Test

JR says Undertaker has a big home field advantage. I get what he’s going for but we’re MUCH closer to Canada and Toronto in general than we are to Houston. But then again, never underestimate how hard an American announcer is going to push his countryman in a feud like this. Undertaker starts with a hiptoss of all things but a knee to the ribs cuts off some driving shoulders.

Test shoves the referee into the ropes to break up Old School and since this isn’t Raw, that’s not a DQ. After a quick trip to the floor, Test very slowly hammers away in the corner and drops a knee on the ribs. It’s off to an armbar of all things until Undertaker fights up and suplexes his way to freedom. AMERICAN freedom that is.

The pumphandle slam doesn’t work so Undertaker plants him with a chokeslam for a delayed two. Cue Storm and Christian for a distraction so Test can get in the big boot for two of his own. Test grabs a chair and shoves the referee down, allowing Undertaker to kick the chair straight back into his face. The Tombstone ends Test at 8:20.

Rating: D. This was fine for a long Raw match but on a show with this much talent around, it’s only going to go so far. Undertaker winning is fine enough as it’s really hard to buy Test beating someone who was in the main event of last month’s pay per view going toe to toe to toe with Rock and Kurt Angle.

Undertaker goes into the crowd and grabs an American flag for some posing.

We get a long and very good recap of HHH vs. Shawn Michaels. They used to be friends and Shawn came back as part of the NWO. After the team was disbanded, Shawn came back again and was made into HHH’s manager. That wasn’t cool with Shawn and his Texas pride so HHH beat him up twice in a row, including putting Shawn through a car window. Shawn is willing to have one more fight (not match, but fight) here tonight.

HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Anything goes and unsanctioned with Shawn in jeans. Shawn hammers away to start and spears HHH down for more right hands. They’re quickly on the floor with Shawn ramming him head first into the post. It’s time for some toys, including a trashcan to HHH’s head and a top rope right hand for the same.

Sweet Chin Music misses less than three minutes in and Shawn walks into a spinebuster for the first real shot to his bad back. Like a smart villain, HHH starts in on the back but Shawn says bring it, earning himself a kick to the chest. One heck of a chair shot to the back has Shawn’s face in agony, which is where so much of this match’s strength comes from. Michaels could tell such a story with his face and it really does bring you deeper into the story they’re trying to tell.

Shawn gets in a desperation rollup for two but walks into the facebuster to cut him off again. A DDT on the chair gets two and we’ve got some blood. HHH steals Shawn’s belt for a good old fashioned whipping followed by a few buckle shots to the cut head. With Shawn pulling himself to his feet, it’s sledgehammer time. As is his custom though, Shawn cuts HHH off at the exactly right time, earning himself an abdominal stretch.

HHH goes for the hammer again but Earl Hebner calls him off and yells a lot. A superplex is broken up so HHH blasts him in the back with the chair again. There’s a side slam through an open chair and Shawn looks dead. You can feel the fans getting more and more into this and JR wants the referee to do a fast count. Shawn kicks out and now HHH is getting frustrated because Michaels won’t stay down.

Another side slam onto a closed chair gets the same and HHH covers three times in a row. The Pedigree is broken up by a low blow and you can feel the crowd coming back to life. HHH grabs the chair but a desperation superkick knocks it into HHH’s face to draw blood as well. Shawn hits the forearm into the nipup and the fans actually come to their feet as it’s the old Shawn one more time. A great chair shot to the head drops HHH and Shawn picks up the belt to even things up a bit from earlier.

Shawn bulldogs the very bloody HHH onto the steps to knock him even sillier. Since that’s not enough, let’s bring in a ladder too. Said ladder is thrown inside but HHH baseball slides it into Shawn’s ribs for a breather. HHH goes up top for some reason and it’s a superplex to bring him back down for two. Now the steps are brought in but Shawn drop toeholds HHH into them before knocking him outside again.

With nothing else left, here’s a table too with Shawn splashing HHH off the top through the wood. HHH very slowly rolls back in and Shawn brings the ladder inside again. The big elbow off the ladder crushes HHH and Shawn pops right back up. It’s superkick time but HHH counters into the Pedigree which is countered into a jackknife rollup for the pin at 27:19.

Rating: A+. My goodness what a performance. That’s the only way to put it as Shawn basically started all over again and had this kind of an amazing match. This was some outstanding storytelling with Michaels taking us to the very brink but fighting back until there was an actual way to believe he could pull it off. HHH was at his most dastardly here and that makes for one heck of a match. This is one of the best matches of both of their careers and the circumstances make it even more amazing. Shawn timed that comeback as well as anything I’ve ever seen and I got swept up in the match all over again. Just excellent.

Post match, HHH hits a celebrating Shawn in the back with a sledgehammer to go biggest heel ever. Shawn does a stretcher job, seemingly putting him out of action for a long time. Oh and one more thing: for some reason HHH has tried to claim that this match was forty five minutes long. Even if you count the entrances and the post match stuff, it’s less than thirty six minutes total. That’s a big stretch even in wrestling, which is covering a lot of ground.

Here’s Howard Finkel of all people to talk about how he hasn’t been here since Wrestlemania II but you’ll always have him because of loyalty. Cue Trish Stratus (who has been feuding with a sexist Finkel) but the Fink doesn’t want to hear from someone who thinks she’s hot stuff because of her looks. Trish hits on him and Finkel makes sex jokes until Lillian Garcia (who is having the real issues with him) to slap Howard in the face and kick him low. This was just a way to calm things down after the previous match but it was still stupid.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. The Rock. Lesnar won the King of the Ring tournament to earn this show and Rock won the title at Vengeance. Brock has run through the company but this is by far his biggest test to date.

Undisputed Title: Brock Lesnar vs. The Rock

Lesnar is challenging and has Paul Heyman in his corner. The fans are ALL OVER Rock as he charges right into a belly to belly, further banging up his already injured ribs. Some backbreakers have the fans cheering for Rock though and Brock takes him outside for a beating in the crowd.

Back in and another belly to belly sends Rock flying for two. Heyman even gets in a little choking as Rock’s right hands are cut off by a powerslam. Brock charges into the post and three straight clotheslines finally put him down for two. It’s off to a bad Sharpshooter with Rock nowhere near sitting on Brock’s back.

Heyman finally gets on the apron for a distraction but Lesnar saves his agent from a Rock Bottom. The distraction lets a chair go into Rock’s ribs, setting up a bearhug into a waistlock on the mat. This stays on WAY too long but to be fair, Lesnar isn’t really capable of having a long match on his own just yet.

Rock punches his way out but takes one heck of a running shoulder to the ribs in the corner. Lesnar gets punched (you might notice a pattern emerging here) outside again and it’s announcers’ table time. Instead though Brock gets catapulted into the table and Heyman takes a very slow motion Rock Bottom through the table.

Back in and the Rock Bottom only gets two but Lesnar grabs one of his own (JR: “Brock Bottom?”) for another near fall. The spinebuster looks to set up the People’s Elbow but Brock jumps up for a BIG clothesline. Brock can’t hit the F5 but reverses the Rock Bottom into the F5 for the pin and the title at 16:02.

Rating: B. It’s not a classic but the key thing here is that Brock reversed Rock’s finisher into his own for the completely clean pin. Heyman hadn’t been a factor for about five minutes so the pinfall is WAY more important. Lesnar won because he was better here (ignoring the rib injuries but that was hardly cheating). This was a good match but it’s important and well done which is all that matters.

Overall Rating: A. This is one of the best pay per views the company has ever put on and pretty easily the best Summerslam ever. The worst match of the night was Undertaker vs. Test and even that was watchable. Throw in a masterpiece like HHH vs. Michaels and this is an instant classic, which isn’t often the case at Summerslam.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Ratings Comparison

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A-

2017 Redo: A-

Chris Jericho vs. Ric Flair

Original: B

2013 Redo: C

2017 Redo: C+

Eddie Guerrero vs. Edge

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: B-

Un-Americans vs. Booker T/Goldust

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: C

Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Benoit

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Test

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2017 Redo: D

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

The Rock vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A

Still a masterpiece.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/05/history-of-summerslam-count-up-summerslam-2002-best-summerslam-ever/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/08/07/summerslam-count-up-2002-the-performance-of-a-lifetime/