This was requested recently but it was written over five years ago, meaning it might not be up to my usual standards.

Smackdown
Date: May 24, 2001
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This is a request I got a few months ago and got too busy to get around to until now. This is the TLC 3 night with Benoit/Jericho defending against three other teams. Other than that it’s another episode of Smackdown without much to show for it. HHH is injured and Austin is the top dog in the company as a heel. The Alliance is coming and Austin would be getting ready either for Judgment Day in a few days or King of the Ring in a month or so. I’m not entirely sure. Let’s get to it.

This is the Thursday after HHH and Austin lost the tag titles so this is the first title defense for the new champions. We open with a recap of the AWESOME tag title match where Austin and HHH lost the belts (can’t wait to get to that one)

Theme song opens us up.

Here’s Vince to start the show. He guarantees that we’re going to have an historic night tonight. He calls the title change a miracle and the fans don’t seem to agree. We hear about HHH’s quad injury and the fans cheer. This might be the first time we hear that it’ll be 4-6 months that he’s out. In reality it would be closer to 7-8. He announced the main event: TLC 3 with Benoit/Jericho defending against the Hardys, Edge/Christian and the Dudleys.

X-Pac vs. Eddie Guerrero

Eddie cost Pac the European Title on Mondays o this is a revenge rematch. Eddie takes him down quickly to start as the fans don’t really care as much as the match starts. Pac takes Eddie down and the fans aren’t pleased. He sends Eddie to the floor and hits Chrsitian’s springboard dive over the top to the floor.

Pac slams him down but something like a swanton misses and here comes Eddie. He gets some basic stuff including the slingshot headbutt. Pac breaks the momentum and tries the Bronco Buster but Eddie moves. Eddie goes up but takes an enziguri followed by something like a dominator off the top for the kind of surprising pin.

Rating: C-. The match was ok enough but they weren’t clicking out there. Even Tazz said that Eddie looked a bit off. Also it’s kind of cool to see Pac getting a clean pin over someone like that, especially with something other than the X-Factor. Not a great match at all but it wasn’t horrible or anything. Eddie would be sent to rehab later on in the month for pain killer addiction so this was one of his last appearances for awhile.

Tajiri is in Regal’s office and Japanese is spoken. Oh this is his debut. Regal says Tajiri should pay some dues in the form of being the Commissioner’s (Regal) friend. First off, no more bowing as it’s a racial stereotype. Now go get my tea and crumpets.

We recap Angle celebrating the recovery of his Olympic medals but then Shane showed up to ruin the celebration. This set up an AWESOME street fight at King of the Ring. Kurt beat up Shane and Vince offered Kurt an IC Title shot as an apology. Shane cost him the title.

Kurt is looking for Shane.

Spike tries to talk the Dudleys out of hating Molly because he loves her. D-Von guarantees she’s going through a table sooner or later. The more famous Dudleys say they have more important things to worry about, like TLC. They part ways.

Molly is chilling in the back and Kurt comes up to ask about Shane. He threatens her for lying and says she’s waiting on someone. Kurt makes fun of her and tells her to go find Shane. Spike pops up and calls Molly his girlfriend and a match is made for later. Scratch the later. Let’s do it RIGHT NOW.

Spike Dudley vs. Kurt Angle

I mean literally now as they walk to the ring in the same shot. They both come through the crowd for some reason. Spike calls Kurt a chicken and tries to use speed but jumps into a suplex. Kurt unleashes the suplexes and Spike is in pain. It’s so weird hearing Cole as a face commentator. Angle Slam off the steps kills Spike and the ankle lock ends it quickly. This was just a squash.

Kurt won’t let go of the ankle so Molly comes out for the save. Kurt gets in her face so the male Hollies come out for the save. Back to the ankle lock on Spike and he’s in pain.

Post break Kurt says he’s proud of what he did to Spike. He blames Shane for what just happened.

Dean Malenko vs. Raven

Malenko is a ladies man here. Perry Saturn is with Malenko and is a bit loopy now. Raven starts fast and gets a pair of backdrops before setting up for the Raven Effect which is countered. Deano Machineo works on the leg but Raven fights back. Saturn slides in a chair which isn’t used. Saturn’s girlfriend Terri distracts the referee and Saturn hooks a neckbreaker on Raven, letting Malenko get the cheap pin. This was nothing, again.

Raven fights them both off and DDTs Saturn on the chair.

Trish comes in to see Steve Blackman and changes behind a screen. Blackman is intrigued.

After a break Trish is still getting ready and asks Blackman to help her with her top. Blackman has a stick with him at the time. If you can’t figure out what happens next, go watch an Austin Powers movie.

Here’s Austin to complain about life in general. He wants the fans to shut up as he has a sore throat so he can’t talk loud. If they keep calling him the opening in a donkey he’s leaving. And there he goes. Ok he changed his mind. He blames HHH for the title loss, saying he was about to break the Liontamer and hit a Stunner. Then when he was about to kick out of the Lionsault HHH accidentally hit him in the belly with a sledgehammer.

The other problem Austin has is with Taker who popped into the dressing room and says it’s not over yet. You know, after losing to Austin twice in title matches. Now we can talk about Austin. He says he’s a fighting champion and he says he’ll put it on the line to anyone but not here in this town because they don’t deserve to see him in action.

Tajiri brings in tea and a ton of crumpets for Regal. Rhyno pops in and demands a Hardcore Title match but Regal says no. Rhyno says ok then give me Austin and the WWF Title. That’s a no also. Then how about Kane for the Intercontinental Title. Regal says no one wants to face Kane. Rhyno says I do and that’s about it. So you can just demand title matches now?

Steve Blackman/Grandmaster Sexay/Trish Stratus vs. Ivory/Goodfather/Bull Buchanan

The RTC would be gone very soon after this. Richards has been thrown out of the team. Buchanan vs. Blackman to start us off. After Blackman kicks him around a lot Ivory tags herself in. Goodfather comes in to meet Trish so there’s the tag to Grandmaster. Why is he teaming with Blackman? They were in the dark match at Mania and I guess they’re together for an odd pairing? It’s really just a filler match as Grandmaster does some basic stuff to Buchanan (lot of tags in this) before tagging in Blackman (see what I mean?). Everything breaks down, axe kick to Blackman, top rope legdrop to Buchanan, pin.

Rating: C. Eh all things considered this was fine. It’s more or less the final nail in the coffin of the RTC and that’s all it needed to be. Trish looked good in her shorts and was getting a lot more competent in the ring all the time. Not a great match or anything but it was fast paced and did its job so I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt.

Post match Trish and Steve dance.

Dean and Terri aren’t sure how Saturn is. He comes out of the trainers’ room and is insane now.

Edge and Christian say they’ve been in these matches and have a habit of winning them.

Intercontinental Title: Kane vs. Rhyno

Kane won the title at Judgment Day from HHH. It’s a good thing they changed the title when they did. Kane still has a bad arm. He takes over to start and hits some of his favorites, such as the side slam and clothesline for two. Rhyno hits a running shoulder to the back while Kane is in the corner but he gets his head taken off by a clothesline for two again. Rhyno works on the back and hooks a camel clutch but Kane stands up and hits an electric chair drop. British Bulldog style powerslam gets two. Rhyno gets most of a belly to back suplex and takes over. And scratch that as the missed Gore sets up the chokeslam to end it.

Rating: C. Nice hard hitting match here which is the right idea with guys like these. Rhyno never really got a huge push in WWE but he’s pretty good at his job: being the tough guy who could give you a quick and good match. For a three-four minute TV match, there’s not much more you can ask for given who was in there.

The Canadian Chris’s talk about winning the titles and keeping them tonight.

Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Hardy Boys vs. Edge/Christian vs. Chris Benoit/Chris Jericho

Think this will be awesome? Everyone goes after the champions immediately and Edge throws in a ladder. Expect a lot of play by play here as there’s not much else you can do. Edge and Christian (Dang I can’t call them the Canadians here) go up but get pulled down, foiling their attempted fast one. The Hardys and Dudleys are in the ring with a ladder being put in front of Bubba. He throws it back at Jeff to counter Poetry in Motion.

The champions take over with ladders but their fellow Canadians take them down. The fans want tables. There needs to be a crack addiction center for table lovers. Matt powerbombs Christian off the ladder and gets in a fight with Edge on top of the ladder. Benoit shoves them off and then gets beaten up by Bubba for his efforts. Jericho puts Matt on a table on the floor and Benoit goes up. He dives off in a huge swan dive which hits the table and no Matt. That was in the Smackdown opening montage forever.

Back in the ring Jericho bulldogs Bubba off the top of the ladder and Benoit hasn’t moved yet. Tazz goes to check on him so you can tell it’s a big deal. Yeah he leaves on a stretcher as we go to a break. Back with two ladders in the ring and Edge climbs one. Jericho comes up for the save and puts Edge in the Walls on top of the ladder which looks awesome. Christian comes up and shoves Jericho off the top and onto a buckle.

The Hardys shove off the other Canadians and it’s Hardys vs. Dudleys. Works for me. D-Von hiptosses Matt off and Jeff gets suplexed to put everyone down. We get a highlight package to fill in some of the time with everyone down. And here comes Benoit. Benoit goes up but Edge and Christian make the save. They pull out some chairs and it’s Conchairto time. Benoit covers his head but takes two chair shots to the ribs, which were announced as bruised or perhaps broken.

Edge gets taken down by What’s Up and it’s Table Time. Jericho pops D-Von with one and then Christian pops Jericho with one. With a table still in the ring, Christian goes up a ladder in a corner and D-Von chases him up. You know it’s coming. There’s a Super 3D off the ladder which knocks both Dudleys out as well for some reason. The Hardys set up a ladder outside and it’s the big one. Matt caves in Ray’s head and Jeff goes a climbing. Using another ladder Jeff hits that jumping legdrop over the big ladder through Bubba through the table. There’s your huge spot of the match.

Matt and D-Von both have ladders and it’s a race up there. They slug it out up there but Matt gets a Twist of Fate off the top. It looked worse too as Matt pulled too hard and D-Von landed on top of his head. FREAKING OW MAN! Matt goes up but Jericho makes a last second save. He sets a ladder but Edge climbs up another one and spears Jericho down. When I was a kid I wanted Jericho to reach out and grab it on the way down. Benoit realizes he’s still alive and climbs up to win the titles. It’s as out of nowhere as it sounds.

Rating: B+. Oh come on it’s TLC with the three teams plus the Canadians in there. Did you expect something other than great? It’s a smaller scale than TLC 2 but that’s Wrestlemania so that’s kind of a high expectation to reach. Still though, this was some great carnage and the usual great spots. 8 people in there is a bit much and I think that’s what’s slowing it down. Also it needs JR to be freaking out to be a classic but we can let that slide as it’s not their faults.

The champs pose on the ladder with their titles to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. You get a free 20 minute TLC match so this show is automatically good. The rest of it is pretty average but nothing is too horrible and like I said, YOU GET TLC ON THIS SHOW. This was one of the really good shows before the Alliance came in and threw everything up in the air. The rest isn’t worth watching, but check out TLC, although it’s not as good as I or II.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: August 1, 2002
Location: Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s back to the blue show where Brock Lesnar is a monster and everyone else is just hoping he doesn’t come after them. On top of that though we have a new face force comprised of John Cena, Rey Mysterio and Edge, who cleaned house to end last week’s show. That being said, their opponents are now gone due to Bischoff vs. Stephanie. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Rey Mysteiro vs. Tajiri

Mysterio baseball slides him during the entrances and scores with a headscissors. Tajiri shows him how to really kick someone in the face and bends the back around the post. A baseball slide in the Tree of Woe makes things even worse for Rey as we’re just waiting on the big comeback here.

Back up and Mysterio flips into a tornado DDT for two, only to get caught in the Tarantula. Another hurricanrana is countered into a sitout powerbomb but Rey comes right back with the Six Nineteen (Tazz dubs it the 619). The West Coast Pop is broken up but Mysterio comes back with a top rope version for the quick pin, earning the crowd reaction you would expect from a Mysterio match.

Rating: C. That’s more like it and amazingly enough, Chavo Guerrero wasn’t the best choice to face Mysterio in his debut. This wasn’t great or anything but it popped the crowd multiple times and Tajiri looked good in defeat. It’s clear that Mysterio is going to be a big deal around here, especially with the Cruiserweight Title not being the hottest thing in the world at the moment.

Here’s Kurt Angle with something to say. He owes us an apology for scaring everyone last week by making us think he might be leaving. Who would even watch the show if he left? Last week he had to blow off some steam due to that punk kid Brock Lesnar. I mean, Lesnar only won an NCAA Title. Angle: “Where are YOUR gold medals???” Lesnar got him disqualified and then had THE NERVE to suggest that Angle was done. That means a challenge and the fans really like that idea.

Instead they get Hulk Hogan (with no music) to make fun of Angle for whining too much. Ignore the fact that Angle was cutting a pretty face promo actually. Hogan wants a piece of Lesnar too but Angle thinks the best Hogan could do is challenge him to a game of shuffleboard.

A fight is teased but here’s Stephanie to say we’ll have a match instead. Thanks for that Steph. I’m so thankful for the completely unnecessary cameo. Anyway they fight tonight and the winner gets Lesnar. Angle promises to make him tap so Hogan punches him to the floor. Again: no need for Stephanie here but she’s going to be here all night.

Bischoff is in Stephanie’s office to brag about stealing talent. Eric thinks they can be friends but it’s just an excuse for Stephanie to shout SECURITY over and over in that loud voice that only she likes. We get MAD STEPHANIE MODE as he’s tossed. As a bonus, we follow them through the halls as she tells security to get rid of him. For some reason he asks what she has for a main event and it’s Edge and Rock.

Brock Lesnar vs. Mark Henry

Henry wants to fight Lesnar face to face. Lesnar bounces off of him to start so a hard clothesline gets two on Henry. A suplex gets the same for Mark but Brock belly to bellies him down. The F5 is enough for the easy pin.

In the back, Lesnar tells Hogan that he wants to face him next week.

Billy and Chuck consider splitting up because there are no titles for them to win. Rico comes in and says it’s ok which sends the team away. John Cena comes in to say the boys are in trouble but Rico makes fun of his fashion sense. Gay jokes ensue.

Angle runs into Lesnar, who wants Kurt to win tonight. All three of these segments were in one long shot. I kind of like that actually.

Kurt Angle vs. Hulk Hogan

The winner gets Lesnar next week. Hogan shoves him around to start but is easily taken down into a front facelock. For some reason Angle lets go and lets Hulk grab a wristlock followed by a hiptoss. This is more basic wrestling than Hogan has done in years. They head outside for the brawling and that’s much more Hogan’s style.

Back in and Angle drives some shoulders to the ribs in the corner but let’s talk about Bischoff and Stephanie! This time it’s asking whose mind Bischoff poisoned (seriously) to get inside. I mean, the fact that he works for the company doesn’t get him past security in the first place? Kurt hammers away in the corner before grabbing a chinlock to give Hogan a breather.

It’s Hulk Up time and, after escaping the ankle lock, the big boot puts Angle down. Amazingly enough he can pop up from a simple kick to the face and grabs the Angle Slam for two. The ankle lock results in a ref bump but Hogan kicks the ensuing chair shot back into Kurt’s face. Now the leg connects for no count so here’s Lesnar for the distraction, allowing Angle to get in that chair shot…..just as the referee wakes up to draw the DQ.

Rating: D+. Actually not horrible here as they just had Hogan stand around while Angle did most of the work. It’s also a good idea to not have Hogan pin Angle when you can accomplish the same ending with a simple DQ. Hogan jobbing to Lesnar should do Brock some good as they try to make Lesnar ready for Summerslam at a break neck pace.

Hogan takes the F5.

Rikishi vs. Revered D-Von

The big man runs D-Von over to start until Batista grabs Rikishi’s leg. A legdrop to the back of Rikishi’s head has D-Von in control and he sends Rikishi into the barricade for good measure. Batista demands punishment and seems pleased with a middle rope legdrop as WE TALK ABOUT BISCHOFF AND STEPHANIE AGAIN. D-Von goes up top for the Swan Dive and lands right between Rikishi’s legs because that’s so funny. A DDT to D-Von and a superkick to Batista sets up the Rump Shaker to give Rikishi the pin.

Rating: D. Sweet goodness these two are so boring. As usual, there’s nothing to see from either of them but yet they somehow manage to be on the show almost every week. At least Batista didn’t job to Rikishi, whose extended push I still fail to understand. It’s a bad match of course but you have to expect that given who was in there.

Rikishi gets beaten down after the match.

Stephanie yells at Stacy Keibler for letting Bischoff in. This better not happen again. Stephanie is just mad that Stacy wound up with Test isn’t she? Stacy smiles as Stephanie leaves.

Here are Nidia and Jamie Noble to make fun of the crowd. Basically they’re rich now and don’t have to deal with these rednecks. Anyway, Jamie isn’t cool with Cole making eyes at Nidia so he has her kiss Cole for a VERY long time, including doing “that trick with the tongue”. Jamie calls her off because the crowd is liking it too much. If Cole treats them nice from now on, he’ll let Nidia give Cole some more lovin.

Kidman, Hardcore Holly and Mike Awesome are watching a tape of Shawn Michaels getting attacked on Monday when STEPHANIE comes in to ask why they’re watching this instead of Smackdown. That’s why they’re not in any main events: they’re not paying attention. From now on, there is NO WATCHING SMACKDOWN. Why do I have a feeling this is an inside joke that isn’t connecting with the audience? Not that it matters as it gets Stephanie another appearance.

John Cena vs. Rico

This would have been a much better, and very different, match down in OVW (Rico was awesome back then). Rico slaps him in the face to start and fires off his kicks in the corner until Cena gets in a spinebuster. A tilt-a-whirl powerslam gets two but Cena gets dropkicked out of the air. Not that it matters as the ProtoBomb ends Rico a few seconds later. Not much to see here.

Billy and Chuck, seemingly fine again, come out for the big beatdown.

Bischoff has a ticket and sits in the front row. In an unimportant detail, he has an upper deck seat but pays off a fan to upgrade. I’ve always wondered why there’s always an empty front row seat for this angle.

Back from a break with Bischoff starting a WATCH RAW chant and guess who comes out for a chat. Apparently she misspoke when she said the main event was Rock vs. Edge because it’s actually the two of them teaming together to face the newest Smackdown talent acquisitions.

The Rock/Edge vs. Chris Benoit/Eddie Guerrero

Cole: “WHAT A COUP FOR STEPHANIE!” Benoit brings the Intercontinental Title with him to Smackdown. Bischoff jumps the barricade and gets in a fight with security, allowing Stephanie to demand (by screeching of course) that he be thrown out of her building. Eddie goes after Rock to start as Cole talks about them having a war a few weeks back. That sounds like someone has been watching Raw lately. No wonder Cole hasn’t been in any main events lately.

It’s off to Benoit who gets suplexed for two as the announcers compare the talent stealing. Apparently the Tag Team Champions plus Chris Jericho and Test pale in comparison to Benoit and Guerrero. Rock gets taken back into the corner for the double stomping until a faceplant drops Eddie.

The hot tag brings in Edge but let’s talk about Stephanie getting in all those great lines as Bischoff was taken away. The beating doesn’t last long though as Benoit gets in a cheap shot to take over on Edge for the real heat sequence. Guerrero works on a leglock and it’s off to Benoit for the rolling German suplexes. We hit a half crab Liontamer (cool looking move) for a bit before Edge has to fight out of a double superplex.

A top rope sunset flip gets two on Eddie but Benoit is right there to break up the tag again. Edge powerbombs Eddie out of the corner and there’s the hot tag to Rock, who doesn’t get the pop you would expect. Everything breaks down and the Rock Bottom plants Eddie. Cue Lesnar for a distraction though, allowing the Crossface to make Rock tap completely clean.

Rating: B+. Heck of a match here and the fact that the pin was entirely clean (well, almost entirely clean) makes it work even more. Rock isn’t going to lose anything by tapping to the Intercontinental Champion and it helps build up his match with Lesnar, which needs all the help it can get at this point. Eddie vs. Edge could be awesome stuff too.

Hogan hits Lesnar with a chair to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The main event pulls this one from out of the abyss because otherwise it’s one of the weakest episodes the show has ever done. I know I’ve harped on it a lot but the big problem here is Stephanie, who comes off like the annoying kid who keeps shouting “HEY! DON’T FORGET ABOUT ME!” every five minutes while the adults try to do something important. It’s often a case of here she is again in a cameo that doesn’t need to exist and that gets old in a hurry.

Other than that though, the wrestling really didn’t have much to offer. Main event aside, this was a really dull show that didn’t advance much as the bigger story for Summerslam is over on Raw. They’re also not doing much to hide the fact that Lesnar is getting the title at the pay per view and that makes the build a little weird. Rock is really just here to be beaten and while it’s going to be a big moment, it’s still a strange way to get to the pay per view.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: July 25, 2002
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s another big night for Smackdown as we have the in ring debut of Rey Mysterio as well as the Smackdown debut of Brock Lesnar, who Stephanie stole this past Monday. We’re also getting ready for Summerslam and that’s the best thing that could happen after a rather dreadful summer. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video of Stephanie introducing the show in a seizure inducing moment. See, Stephanie is all hip and cool and caters to the youth of the country with her hipness.

Opening sequence.

Kurt Angle vs. Mark Henry

Henry shoves him around to start and just glares him Kurt for trying a suplex. Kurt is sat on top where Henry pats him on the head for fun. A missed charge allows Kurt to hit the first suplex and really take over. Another powerslam puts Angle down but here’s Lesnar to F5 Henry for the DQ. There was no one but Angle to be put in this spot right?

Angle follows Lesnar to the back and asks what was up with that. Brock was just trying to help Kurt out after Angle blew it at Vengeance. Now that Brock is here, Kurt’s time as the top star on Smackdown is over.

Stacy Keibler goes in to see Stephanie and offers to help her in any way possible. Stephanie has her answer the door, which is a flower delivery from Eric Bischoff, who will be here tonight. The vase is thrown against the wall.

Reverend D-Von vs. Big Valbowski

Hardcore Holly is in Val’s corner. Venis starts fast with a clothesline and big boot but both of them fall out to the floor in a crash. Back in and Venis gets two off a fisherman’s suplex with Batista making the save. The partners get in a fight on the floor, leaving Val to grab a Blue Thunder Bomb for the pin.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as D-Von’s reverend gimmick has basically stopped save for the theme song (which is still awesome). Venis and Holly are fine for a low level veteran team but I can’t picture them going any further than a single title shot and maybe not even on pay per view.

Batista cleans house post match. Just let him leave D-Von already and go after someone bigger.

On Stephanie’s orders, Stacy sends security after Edge.

Lance Storm and Christian are ready for their first title defense against the Rock and Hulk Hogan. That’s quite the step up.

Stephanie catches up with Edge, who assures her he isn’t leaving to sign with Raw. Instead he was going to the production truck with a tape. The tape starts rolling and it’s a countdown clock with about an hour and thirty seven minutes on it. That’s how long there is left in the show and in that time, Edge is going to get his hands on Chris Jericho inside a cage. Wait WHAT? It’s a video tape that seems to start with 97 minutes left and Edge got it into the tape player EXACTLY ON TIME??? Including being stopped by security and talking to Stephanie? She had to write this idea. Like, she had to. Only Stephanie could see this working.

Angle is on the phone with someone named Eric. It’s going to be his brother isn’t it?

Rikishi vs. Albert

Albert bicycle kicks him in the head at the bell for no cover. A few corner splashes set up a Vader Bomb for two but Rikishi gets in a DDT. The running hip attack in the corner sets up a Stinkface, followed by the Rump Shaker for the pin. What in the world is up with pushing Rikishi like this?

Stephanie (yes again) calls Angle and demands an explanation via voicemail.

Remember last week when we saw a video saying Rey Mysterio debuts in a week? Everything is still on schedule.

Tag Team Titles: The Rock/Hulk Hogan vs. Lance Storm/Christian

The Canadians are defending. Hogan and Storm start things off and guess what the fans are chanting. Storm gets in a clothesline to start and is quickly pinballed back and forth by right hands from the challengers. Wait, we need to stop and look at a worried Stephanie. Ok now that we’re done with that, let’s talk about how worried she is! Rock gets double teamed for a bit until a Samoan drop drops Storm like a Samoan.

Test breaks up the People’s Elbow though and you can hear the energy come out of the building. Back in and Test cuts off another comeback, followed by a superkick to give Storm two. Hogan comes in for the save but gets distracted to the floor by Test. Therefore there’s no one for Rock to tag so he waits about ten seconds and makes the hot tag on the second attempt. A double belly to back gets two on Hogan but it’s Hulk Up time, only to have Lesnar come in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Not the worst here but Rock could have been almost anyone. You really don’t need to tie this in to the Summerslam match as the idea is more about treating Brock like a monster. The match was as good as an average tag team facing two of the biggest stars of all time was going to be.

Lesnar orders Hogan’s limo driver to take himself and Heyman instead.

The announcers recap the talent stealing story. Would it kill Cole to wear a suit?

John Cena thinks Test has ugly teeth and gets slapped in the mouth for it.

Stephanie comes up to Jericho and it turns into an ad for the new Fozzy CD.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

I remember thinking that it was a different Mysterio since he had the mask back on. Rey starts fast with his variety of headscissors (smart way to go) but Chavo sends him into the corner to take over. We hit an abdominal stretch for a bit before Chavo drives him back first into the apron. Rey has enough of being on defense and busts out a big flip dive to knock Chavo silly. A sweet cradle gets two but a Gory Bomb plants Rey for the same. That goes nowhere so it’s the 619 (no pop yet and Tazz calls it the Six Nineteen) into the West Coast Pop (no name either) to give Rey his first win.

Rating: C. This could have been better by letting Rey fly around more but this is WAY past the point where he blew the doors off the place. That being said, he’s miles better than almost anyone in the division and it was another big name from WCW that could actually mean something in the future. In other words, it’s potential, which isn’t something you can never have enough of in wrestling.

In the back, Test lays Mysterio out.

John Cena vs. Test

Cena goes right for him to start but a hard knee to the ribs slows him down. A quick DDT gets Test out of trouble but let’s talk about Bischoff again! A Jericho style flying forearm drops Test again and the ProtoBomb gets two. Back up and Test tries a powerbomb but gets sunset flipped to give Cena another upset.

Rating: C-. I’m a Test fan (I think there are three of us) so I liked this a bit more than I should have. That being said, Cena really, really needs a finisher outside of a fluke rollup. That’s all he’s used to win so far and while it’s not great, the ProtoBomb would be fine for a finisher until he gets something better. Cena is good enough at the moment but he needs some upgrades.

Test kicks him in the face post match.

Stephanie calls Angle and basically rips him apart for not calling her back. If he’s going to Raw with Eric, the least he could do is tell her face to face. It’s going to be his brother isn’t it?

Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Inside a cage and this is actually joined in progress. You don’t see that too often in a big match. Jericho goes head first into the cage and Edge rips some skin off his chest with chops. A spear up against the cage makes things worse but Jericho sidesteps a second attempt to send Edge into the steel. That means a nasty cut on Edge’s head and a sleeper drop gets two.

Back up and Edge ducks another charge to send Jericho into the cage but Edge can’t get out quite yet. A sitout gordbuster (not an inverted powerbomb Tazz) gets two on Jericho as they’re already trading big moves, though there’s not a lot of drama yet. Cole: “You’ve got to give the businesswoman Stephanie McMahon a lot of credit!” Well of course we do! We haven’t talked about her all match and just to be clear, she’s a totally professional businesswoman and our role model.

Edge escapes the Walls so Jericho goes for the door, giving us the fairly standard “heel grabs the chair right next to the door” spot. A very loud chair shot gets two with Edge’s spear connecting for the same. Both guys head to the top for a super bulldog from Jericho and it’s time for a double breather. Jericho goes up again and gets pulled right back down with a super electric chair for a nasty looking crash. Both guys are down but it’s Edge getting up over the top for the escape before Jericho can get out the door.

Rating: B-. This wasn’t the best cage match in the world as there wasn’t enough build to the big spot trading section. Edge going over clean is the only call here and now he’s beaten Angle and Jericho in back to back feuds. That’s how you build someone up and it’s a good sign when the fans are responding to someone rising up the ranks like this.

Post match the Un-Americans come in for the beatdown. Cena tries to make a save but instead it’s Mysterio diving off the cage to take everyone down.

Bischoff is in the parking lot so HERE COMES STEPHANIE! She tries to get into the limo while he talks about knocking Stephanie out. The limo pulls away with Eric laughing along with someone we can’t see. Angle comes up and Stephanie is thrilled because IT WAS HIS BROTHER ON THE PHONE! GEE! SHOCKING INDEED!  Stephanie wants to know who is in the limo to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. I know I keep harping on this but Stephanie is already killing these shows. It feels like we have to stop and see whatever nonsense she’s up to almost every five minutes and it boils down to this Raw vs. Smackdown show. What that ignores though is the fact that you can watch both shows and not miss anything. The pay per views give you the payoff to all the feuds and the TV shows are on the same nights.

Why should I care if Bischoff and Stephanie are stealing talent from the other show? It doesn’t help that it’s treated as the biggest story in the company because that means we don’t really have an option other than watching As Stephanie’s World Turns. The wrestling wasn’t bad but it really feels like it’s a few miles behind the big story, which isn’t interesting.

Impact Wrestling
Date: December 22, 2016
Host: Josh Matthews

This is a special show as it’s the Best of 2016. That means a lot of copying and pasting from me as I’m not about to rewatch a lot of these matches, especially when they’re likely going to be clipped to death. I’ll be posting the full versions of the matches instead of whatever hacked up versions that air on the broadcast, assuming we get more than just a few clips. Let’s get to it.

We open with about two minutes of the main event of Slammiversary 2016 with Lashley winning the World Title from Drew Galloway, five minutes of Lashley vs. Eddie Edwards from Impact, July 21 and four minutes of Lashley vs. James Storm from August 11. Lashley won all three matches.

Now we’ll go to January 5 for a few seconds of Kurt Angle’s retirement speech. Angle wants to go out on a high note, including a match against Drew Galloway.

Here’s a clip from that match, which aired on January 12. Angle won by submission and again we only get about a minute and a half.

On March 1, Angle beat Bobby Roode. I know it sounds like I’m flying through this but it’s really just the beginning and ending of each match. We’re twenty minutes into the show and we’ve covered five matches with a commercial in the middle.

On March 8, Angle gave his farewell speech where he talked about how much better of a person he is because of TNA.

On March 15, Drew Galloway cashed in his Feast or Fired briefcase to win the World Title from Matt Hardy in 18 seconds.

On March 28, Drew defended the title against Jeff Hardy. This actually gets more than two minutes so I’ll throw in the full match.

TNA World Title: Drew Galloway vs. Jeff Hardy

Hardy is challenging and gets a headlock takeover out of the corner to take over early. Drew comes back with an overhead belly to belly and Hardy is already in trouble. The champ is sent outside for a dive from Hardy and we take a break. Back with Jeff getting two off a Twist of Fate but taking too much time going up and getting superplexed down.

The Claymore gets two and they head up top for what looked to be a super powerslam from Drew but Jeff reverses into something like a hiptoss. That looked to be a bit botched but it was good enough. Another Twist and the Swanton get two on Drew so Jeff sends it outside and puts Drew on the steps. The Swanton hits knees though and it’s a quick Futureshock to give Drew the pin at 14:18.

Rating: B-. Another pretty good main event here with Jeff being a good first victory for Drew, but they certainly didn’t hit a special level. It’s good that they’re getting Jeff out of the way early though as he’s one of those guys who is always going to be near the top of the roster so thankfully Drew can focus on someone new.

On April 5, Drew successfully defended the title against Matt Hardy.

We get the full Gail Kim Hall of Fame video. Somehow they STILL have the error in there about her holding the title for five reigns (when it was produced) for 232 days. In reality the fifth reign alone was 232 days and she’s held the title over 700 days combined.

We see some of her acceptance speech and about 45 seconds of her winning the Knockouts Title for s sixth time at Bound For Glory.

Since giving them their own show next week (and last week), it’s time to look at the Hardys. We’ll start with Matt vs. Ethan Carter III at Lockdown with Matt defending the World Title.

TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. Matt Hardy

Hardy is defending. Ethan draws a line on the mat and it’s time to slug it out. Matt’s chops don’t have much effect but Ethan’s splash hits the cage. It’s time for a chair with Matt getting in some good shots, only to have the Twist of Fate broken up as Matt is sent head first into the chair in the corner. Another Twist is broken up so Matt settles for the Side Effect and a two count.

The champ grabs a chain but walks into a TK3 (TKO) to give Ethan a chance. Tyrus blocks the way so Ethan flips him off, drawing the big man in. Ethan runs the ropes and has a free chance to get out but opts to clothesline Tyrus instead. A Big Ending drops Carter but he’s still able to reverse an attempt at being chained to the cage. Instead it’s Tyrus being chained up but Matt grabs a Twist of Fate for two.

Carter is back up in time to pull Matt off the cage to put both guys down. Matt is up first and hits a low blow, setting up a Twist of Fate with Ethan’s neck in a chair. Of course that’s not enough to finish it so Ethan kicks Matt low to even things up. A slow double crawl towards the door draws out Reby with a hammer but Spud comes out for the save. Then, in the swerve that isn’t a swerve, Spud slams the door on Carter’s head to turn heel and help Matt get out to retain at 11:39.

Rating: C-. The match was fine but it’s ANOTHER heel turn as Matt has to get another minion because he’s this iconic power or whatever line TNA is pushing this week. I do however like the fact that Spud didn’t just align with Carter again because Ethan turned. That’s some nice continuity, but sweet goodness I’m tired of these big heel turns when there are already about four faces on the roster as it is.

With no transition from normal Matt to Broken Matt, here’s the Final Deletion.

Next up, it’s the Great War from Bound For Glory.

Now we look at some debuts, including Mike Bennett/Maria, Aron Rex, Moose, Cody and Brandi Rhodes. We see clips of Bennett defeating Ethan Carter III and the fairly bad mixed tag with Cody/Rhodes vs. Mike/Maria.

Off to the tag teams now as we see Decay beat Beer Money to win the Tag Team Titles on April 26.

We’ll keep up the Decay theme as Rosemary beats Jade to win the vacant Knockouts Title on December 1.

Due to Lashley vacating the X-Division Title, there was an Ultimate X gauntlet held on September 1 and we actually see a good chunk of it.

X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. DJZ vs. Andrew Everett vs. Mandrews vs. Braxton Sutter vs. Rockstar Spud

The title is vacant coming in and this is a gauntlet match, meaning people are added at fixed intervals but you can pull the title down at any time. Trevor Lee and DJZ start things off and they slug it out for a bit before pulling each other down. Andrew Everett is in third and the time intervals seem to be two and a half minutes. DJZ gets double teamed so the Helms Dynasty (minus Helms showing up lately) goes up at the same time.

A knee to DJZ’s head knocks him silly but here’s Mandrews to break up the title grab attempt. Mandrews gets thrown off the top though and we take a break. Back with a replay package of what we saw before the commercial instead of what we missed. Braxton Sutter entered during the break and here’s Rockstar Spud to complete the field but it’s still too early to get the title with Sutter making the save.

We hit the big streak of dives before people get back in, only to be thrown out or knocked down seconds later. There’s nothing to talk about here as it’s just one move or spot after another with nothing in between. Spud uses a chair to knock Sutter off the cables but it’s the Helms Dynasty going up and grabbing the title at at the same time. No one comes down with it though so DJZ springboards in and pulls the title down to win at 16:23.

Rating: C+. I’m sure this is the revitalization that the X-Division has been needing for years now and that this will be different than the other half dozen times they’ve promised it’s not going to be left by the wayside again. The same problems they always have still apply here: no characters, no storylines other than they all want the title and get thrown together into one match and nothing we haven’t seen before. Fix some of those things and give us an actual story and the division might go somewhere.

On October 6, Lashley chose Eddie Edwards for a World Title shot and we’re graced with the last eight seconds.

We wrap it up with clips from Lashley vs. Edwards II on November 3. I’ll throw this one in even though we get less than a third of the match.

TNA World Title: Eddie Edwards vs. Lashley

Lashley is challenging. We get the Big Match Intros with JB calling this the super fight. I’ll give TNA this: they do a solid job of making the big matches feel important. Or maybe it’s that JB is really good at his job(s). The bell rings after the break (thank goodness) and Lashley throws the champ around before elbowing him in the face.

They head outside with Eddie chopping him up against the barricade but getting dropped throat first across the steel. Some choking with a wristband takes us to the last break. Back with Lashley in full control with a chinlock and a knee to the face. The champ fights back and sends Lashley outside for a suicide dive.

A Shining Wizard gets two on Lashley, who comes right back with a Dominator for the same. They head outside for a few moments before Eddie misses a top rope double stomp. Lashley pulls the referee in the way and then hits the spear for two, earning the second referee a right hand to the face. The first referee goes to call for the DQ but the Boston Knee Party gives Eddie the fast counted pin at 18:53.

Rating: B. This was more long than good and really illustrated the problem with a lot of TNA: I like Eddie but he’s really just a person who happens to be champion. Lashley is a big dragon for Eddie to slay and that’s what he’s done twice now. I don’t feel any connection to either of them and it’s much more like I’m just on the outside watching something happen.

Overall Rating: D. TNA just managed to screw up a Best Of show. Based off this, I have almost no idea what’s going on in TNA but I know I need a chart to keep track of it all. This felt like taking a guided tour in a bus that was driving 80 miles an hour with the guide shouting various things you can see.

We didn’t see a single match in full and most of the clips showed the opening and the last few seconds. I’d much rather see some full matches (or promos) than cover so much stuff and get nothing out of it. Also, did we really need the Hardys section when two out of three FULL SHOWS will be about them? I can’t even be surprised by this but it was somehow one of the worst executed things TNA has done all year. Just air a Top Ten list or something like that instead of trying to cram in every single thing into two hours. Total mess here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Vengeance 2002
Date: July 21, 2002
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re in an interesting place here as both shows have their first General Managers but the stories are hit and miss at best. The main event is the Rock, who has had one match since he came back, challenging Undertaker for the title in a triple threat also involving Kurt Angle. This is really just a pit stop before Summerslam though so let’s get to it.

We open with a Biblical passage talking about being your brother’s keeper. Somehow this is supposed to be about the main event. I’m pretty sure this is the Samuel L. Jackson speech from Pulp Fiction.

The show’s announcing will actually be divided in half with Smackdown commentary first and then Raw. I don’t remember them doing that very often.

Dudley Boyz vs. Chris Benoit/Eddie Guerrero

Elimination tables match and the Smackdown commentary is already weird here as they have no connection to these guys. Benoit runs Spike over like he’s Chris Benoit and he’s wrestling Spike Dudley. A quick tag brings in Bubba, who can suddenly stick with Benoit and Guerrero.

Benoit quickly takes Bubba down and drops some running elbows, followed by the first German suplex. The heels take turns stomping away in the corner until it’s time for the first table. Spike makes a quick save but doesn’t make a tag, meaning Bubba’s beating continues. Now the table is set up in the middle of the ring so Spike has to save Bubba from a double superplex. By that I mean he moves the table instead of breaking it up so Bubba goes flying. Spike is a really, really bad partner.

That’s not cool with Benoit and Guerrero so they try to put Spike through the table, only to have Bubba tackle him down to prevent going through the table. So Bubba is a better partner too. Everything breaks down and Spike gives Benoit a top rope double stomp, followed by What’s Up.

Bubba’s middle rope splash only hits table, which doesn’t count as an elimination because it wasn’t an offensive move that put him through the table. Well yeah it was but it was Bubba’s own offensive move. Spike actually does something right by giving Eddie the Dudley Dawg through a table. It bangs him up too much though and Benoit throws him through a table of his own, only to get Bubba Bombed onto a table to give the Dudleyz the win.

Rating: C+. Stupid decisions by Spike aside, this was entertaining stuff and a good way to open the show. Now of course it doesn’t make a lot of sense to have Eddie and Benoit lose to Bubba and Spike of all people but you can’t expect WWE to get things right with them just yet.

Bischoff chases down HHH, who is going into Stephanie’s office. See, HHH is always negotiating.

Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble vs. Billy Kidman

Kidman is challenging and they exchange some fast near falls to start. A hurricanrana has Noble staggered and a Fameasser with Jamie in the ropes makes it even worse. Like a good heel should though, Noble hides behind Nidia and takes Kidman’s arm out to take over. The arm goes into the post but Kidman is still fine enough to dropkick his way out of trouble. Jamie takes him right back down into a Fujiwara armbar. The title has gone to Jamie’s head though as he thinks he can powerbomb Kidman, earning himself a Sky High for two. The Shooting Star press misses and a tiger bomb gives Jamie the clean pin.

Rating: C. This was fine as a coronation match to crown Rey Mysterio’s first victim for the title. Kidman is still one of the best performers on the roster but he’s stuck in the cruiserweight division again because everything that happened in the last year of WCW means nothing. I mean, it was worthless back then too but this just proves it even more.

Kurt Angle is ready to win the title when Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar come in for the dream match staredown. Brock wishes him luck and leaves. Kurt: “I hate pompous people.”

European Title: Jeff Hardy vs. William Regal

Jeff is defending and gets shouldered down for three early near falls. The sitout jawbreaker puts Regal down for two and they head outside, only to have Jeff miss the barricade running clothesline. Back in and Jeff’s Swanton (in case you had it confused with Regal’s Swanton) hits knees, only to have Jeff roll him up to retain.

Rating: D. Well that happened. This might as well have been on Raw because the title means nothing more than a way to fill time. Hardy retaining is fine and in theory should let him move on to his next feud but why would anyone want the thing at this point? It’s just a worthless belt and at least Regal holding it made sense. Now it’s a prop for Jeff, who is no more over now that he has the thing.

Hogan and Flair congratulate Jeff before shaking hands. Hulk thinks he might hit a Swanton of his own tonight. After that bizarre visual, Hogan wants to know what’s up with the new GM’s. Flair is worried about the young superstars getting caught up in the power struggle. I have no idea why this was added save for giving Flair a cameo and therefore a payday.

Chris Jericho vs. John Cena

Rematch from Smackdown where Jericho got disqualified. Jericho is all ticked off and grabs a chair before the bell, only to have Cena take it away and blast Jericho over the back. Now we get the bell because anything that happens before the bell only counts when it’s important to the story. Cena gets in a few right hands until a shot shot slows him down and calms Canadian fans everywhere. A few more right hands put Cena down and he even throws in a little shuffle.

Chris takes too long going up and gets caught in a superplex but Cena can’t follow up. Instead he misses a dropkick, only to roll away from the Lionsault. The second attempt works but Jericho doesn’t want to cover. Chris tries the Walls and is quickly small packaged for the pin.

Rating: C-. Cena getting the win is a big deal for him but you can only give him so many flukes before he needs some kind of big offense of his own. At the moment he’s just a tough rookie, which is fine for a start, but he needs something more substantial going forward. For now though it’s fine as the long list of pins over Jericho begins.

Jericho has a fit after the match.

Bischoff fails to stop Stephanie’s attorney from going into her locker room.

The commentary switches up.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar is challenging after defeating Van Dam in the King of the Ring final. Some quick strikes have Brock on the floor, followed by some kicks to the knee. Lesnar gets knocked outside a second time but he easily catches Rob diving through the air for a powerslam. Back in and it’s suplex time but Rob escapes a second and kicks Brock in the face. Heyman: “THAT HAD TO HURT!” They’re doing a good job here of showing that only strikes work on Brock as all of Rob’s high flying has gotten in trouble.

An attempt at a monkey flip sends Rob over the top and into the steps, followed by the bearhug to keep things slow. Brock makes it even better with an abdominal stretch which lasts as long as your average abdominal stretch is going to last. The top rope kick to the chest sets up Rolling Thunder for two on Brock. Heyman’s advice in this situation: “DON’T LOSE!” The F5 is countered into a tornado DDT and Rob adds the Five Star, causing Heyman to pull the referee for the DQ. Big pop for Van Dam retaining the title.

Rating: D+. There’s just not much left to do with Brock other than put the title on him and hope for the best. He’s dominating everyone he faces until Heyman has to save him at the end. Thankfully WWE wasn’t stupid enough (yet) to set up a champion vs. champion match on pay per view because they still realized you could do two title matches and get twice the impact.

Post match Heyman breaks up the Van Terminator, allowing Lesnar to F5 Van Dam onto a chair.

Stephanie comes out of her office and says he signed in her intimidating voice. HHH comes out a second later and Bischoff yells at him. It turns out though that those were divorce papers and HHH hasn’t made up his mind. Sweet goodness why am I supposed to care about this stupid stuff?

Big Show vs. Booker T.

No DQ and a rematch from Raw. In other words, the same story as Jericho vs. Cena from Smackdown plus the stipulation. Booker’s early kicks are pulled out of the air as Big Show sends him flying. An enziguri slows Show down but that’s a bit too much selling so he clotheslines Booker outside.

A chair swing is punched out of the air but since this is Big Show, he screws up by clotheslining the post. They fight behind the announcers’ table as this is finally starting to play towards the gimmick. A monitor shot to the head knocks Show down and we get the big spot of the match with an ax kick through the table. Back in and another ax kick sets up the Houston Hangover to give Booker the pin, which is treated like a huge upset.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t anything great but the important thing here is Booker going over. Beating Big Show isn’t going to change his career or anything but it’s a sign that WWE is actually doing something with him. Not a great match of course as Big Show is mostly worthless at this point, though he’s fine for a punching bag.

Torrie Wilson and Dawn Marie argue over who is winning the main event.

Here’s HHH for the big contract decision. Bischoff comes out for the first pitch and suggests making HHH a movie star because everything will be business., meaning there’s no ex-wife to deal with on Raw. Talk of a sneaker deal brings out Stephanie with that horrendous “I’m all grown up” theme and Lawler saying she’s hot.

Stephanie brings up their past successes and says it’s all personal this time around. She even has an ace in the hole by bringing up Bischoff calling HHH a no talent back in the day. HHH insults them both and says he could say screw you to both of them, though Stephanie would like it. He’d rather go with the devil he knows (Stephanie)…..and here’s Shawn Michaels.

Shawn said he’d come out here but he doesn’t want to get in the middle of all this. The NWO is out of business and Shawn wouldn’t want to be in HHH’s shoes. However he wants HHH to remember something. The two of them had more fun together than anyone else ever and it would be a blast to make Bischoff miserable. HHH hugs Shawn and goes to Raw, wrapping this up at just shy of sixteen minutes, or longer than any match so far.

Actually we’re still not done as Bischoff has to rub Stephanie’s nose in it to make this even longer. Bischoff: “The one big difference between you and I? I’ve got testicles and you don’t.” Stephanie slaps him and leaves to her music to make sure we know she’s tough. So yeah, Stephanie is all awesome and amazing but Raw got HHH because like he was going to stick around on Smackdown.

Now we go to Rikishi of all people to hear about HHH leaving Smackdown. He thinks it’s bad.

Booker is glad HHH is coming to Raw. Are we really having a post announcement reaction show?

Tag Team Titles: Hulk Hogan/Edge vs. Un-Americans

Lance Storm and Christian are challenging here with no Test in sight. During the entrances, JR outdoes himself by saying Wrestlemania III was 15 years ago and saw Hogan face Ultimate Warrior. He then corrects himself by saying it was Wrestlemania VI because Wrestlemania III was here in Chicago.

Hogan dumps Christian out to the floor to start and there goes the bandana. Storm gets punched in the face as Lawler is talking about bra and panties. It’s off to Edge for some right hands in the corner, only to have Christian offer some cheating to take over for the first time.

The fans want Hogan as Edge fights out of a chinlock. It’s back to Hogan for the usual with the legdrop getting two on Christian as Storm saves. Hogan is sent outside for the superkick from Storm and the stomping begins. It ends just as quickly though with a double clothesline to drop Storm and Hogan.

The tag brings in Edge for a series of clotheslines and the ref gets bumped. Cue Test for the big boot to Edge, giving Storm two. They actually had me on that one for a second. Rikishi waddles down to deal with Test, allowing Jericho to come in and hit Edge with a belt for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D+. Not much to the match here but again they get the booking right by using Hogan and Edge as a transitional team to get the belts on a regular team. The Un-Americans aren’t the best act in the world but I’ll take them over thrown together teams like Rikishi and Rico.

Bischoff tries to get Angle on Raw. Kurt says they’ll talk later.

Stephanie promises to win the war because she’s in contact with EVERY Raw superstar.

The announcers recap the show.

We recap the World Title match. Rock tried to cost Undertaker the title at King of the Ring so Undertaker wanted to fight him. Then Undertaker vs. Angle went to a draw so Angle was added to this match.

Undisputed Title: Kurt Angle vs. The Rock vs. Undertaker

Undertaker is defending and comes to the ring without his bandana for a weird look. It’s a three way staredown to start with Undertaker and Rock jawing at each other while Angle waves his arms behind them. That earns him a double right hand and a big clothesline to send him outside.

Undertaker gets the same treatment but Kurt slides back in for a belly to belly on Rock. The champ takes Angle’s place and gives Rock a side slam for two. To really mix things up, Rock chokeslams Undertaker, which is pretty much just a release Rock Bottom anyway. All three are back in now and Rock grabs a horrible, HORRIBLE ankle lock on Kurt.

Angle gets out and Rock Bottoms Rock, only to get Angle Slammed by Undertaker. Cute sequence though Rock’s ankle lock was worse than his Sharpshooter. The spinebuster sets up the People’s Elbow with Angle pulling Rock to the floor and stealing the two count. Everyone heads outside with Rock being dropped onto the announcers’ table and Kurt getting busted open.

Old School, with a right hand to the face instead of the shoulder, gets two on Angle. The running DDT gets the same on Rock, who doesn’t even need help kicking out. Angle brings in a chair but gets caught in the middle of alternating right hands. The ref gets bumped (of course) and one heck of a chair shot knocks Undertaker out. An Angle Slam drops Rock as the referee is back up (good) but he kicks out at two and puts Angle in the Sharpshooter.

Undertaker saves and gives Rock the Last Ride, only to have Angle break it up with the ankle lock. That’s rolled through and now it’s the triangle choke that made Undertaker tap a few weeks ago. Rock makes a save this time and gets ankle locked, which is quickly escaped as well. A Rock Bottom gets two on Undertaker but he walks into the Angle Slam. One more Rock Bottom puts Kurt away to give Rock another title.

Rating: B. The over hyping hurt this as JR made it sound like the greatest thing he had ever seen. It’s certainly good and entertaining with the stolen spots sequence being one of the better parts but Rock winning the title by beating Angle isn’t great. Then again that’s how triple threats work most of the time and Rock is just holding it for Lesnar anyway.

Overall Rating: C-. This is such a forgettable show and there isn’t much other way to put it. The main event was very good but that’s really about it. Maybe they could have had a better match in the middle if we didn’t need a fifteen minute HHH announcement but that’s where the money is in this company, or so WWE would tell us. There’s just not much to say about this one and it shows badly. Summerslam will be the bigger deal though and that’s what really matters.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: July 18, 2002
Location: First Union Arena, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Vengeance but the bigger story here is the in ring return of the Rock who will be facing Kurt Angle to warm up for his World Title match on Sunday. Other than that we get to meet the first Smackdown General Manager, who I’m sure won’t be a huge disappointment and create a bunch of plot holes. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Eric Bischoff being announced as the Raw GM. Bischoff has promised to show up tonight and sign Rock, which apparently you can just do. The idea here is that he likes to steal talent, though I’m not sure why Vince would care since he owns both shows.

Opening sequence.

Chris Jericho vs. John Cena

Cena starts fast as has been his custom so far but misses a charge, sending him flying out to the floor. Back in and Jericho takes too long on top, allowing Cena to dropkick him down. A belly to belly and DDT get two each on Chris so he hits Cena low for the quick DQ.

Post match Jericho puts Cena in the Walls of Jericho and beats him down with a chair.

A smiling Bischoff arrives.

Bischoff goes looking for Hulk Hogan. Hint: it’s the room with the HULK HOGAN sign on the door. Hulk doesn’t seem interested and tells Eric that they’re not down south anymore. Eric asks if Edge is really attached to Smackdown but Hulk still doesn’t seem convinced.

Hurricane vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Chavo slaps the handshake away and gets taken down by a neckbreaker. Hurricane blows his knee out on a leapfrog though and Chavo wraps it around the post. The Tree of Woe makes things worse but Hurricane grabs him by the throat. Cole: “I think it might be the chokeslam!” That’s enough of a tip off for Chavo to take the knee out again. The knee is fine enough for a Shining Wizard and Blockbuster for two each but Chavo gets all fired up. A Brock Lock with Chavo lifting Hurricane up for a kind of powerbomb sets up an STF to make Hurricane tap.

Rating: C. The match was fine though I’d still like to point out that Chavo isn’t interesting on his own. He’s someone who really needs a gimmick because there’s just not enough there on his own. He looked extra vicious tonight though and the leg work was good stuff. Chavo can wrestle a totally acceptable match but that doesn’t mean he’s interesting.

Chavo is sick of these Rey Mysterio videos and challenges him to a match next week.

Vince arrives.

Rico offers Bischoff his services but Eric runs into Vince. Eric says he’s off to see the Rock to show off ruthless aggression.

Undertaker had a sitdown interview earlier (that’s not something you see every day) which he turns into a promo about how Rock and Angle are in for beatings. He and Angle could fight a thousand times and Kurt could never make him tap. This was a pretty rambling promo but Undertaker doesn’t get a lot of practice.

Billy and Chuck vs. Hardcore Holly/Big Valbowski

Billy punches Holly down in the corner to start but Hardcore hits his kick to the very lower ribs (Tazz: “This might not even hurt Billy!”) to take over. The partners come in with the veterans keeping Chuck in trouble. A belly to belly puts Hardcore down but the advantage lasts all of a few seconds until a double clothesline drops both of them. Venis gets a hot tag with what had to be a sweetened crowd pop. Everything breaks down and the Alabama Slam into the Money Shot finishes Billy.

Rating: D+. Sure why not. It’s not like the tag division has anywhere to go but up so give a new team a win to make them players. I know it’s not much and Holly/Venis aren’t going to be anything serious but it’s better to try to do something instead of running the same teams over and over again. Also, you can almost guarantee a passable match from the veterans and that’s better than taking a gamble on someone who won’t go anywhere and could put on a disaster.

Edge/Hulk Hogan/Rikishi vs. Un-Americans

It’s Edge and Storm to get things going and the other Canadians are quickly tripping Edge from the floor. The fans already want Hogan as we take an early break. Back with Edge still in trouble, including a chinlock from Test. The big boot misses though and Edge gets in the half nelson faceplant but Storm breaks up the tag. Do Canadian schools teach you how to cut off the ring? Edge powerslams Lance and brings Hogan in as everything breaks down. Storm’s superkick triggers the Hulk Up but Test breaks up the Stinkface. Not that it matters as Edge spears Christian and hits the Edgecution for the pin on Storm.

Rating: C+. Totally fine six man here and, again, they kept Hogan’s in ring time limited. The fans love him and want to see him do his stuff so why let him ruin a match due to age and physical limitations? This was exactly what it should have been, save for Rikishi being a bit of an odd fit with the champs.

Bischoff gives Rock his sales pitch and Rock says he’ll be at Raw….because he’ll be the new Undisputed Champion. See, Rock could go on any show and be a success. Rock could even show up on Frasier and make it electrifying. Bischoff thinks Rock would have been great on Nitro but Rock says he was too busy helping to put WCW out of business.

Here’s Vince to announce the new GM. Before we get there though, Vince says any talent can negotiate with any show if they’re interested. The Smackdown General Manager tried to put Vince out of business as well and has a history of ruthless aggression. The new boss is…..Stephanie McMahon, because being banished FOREVER means less than four months. As expected, she takes WAY too long to get to the point while screeching a lot. Short version: HHH is signing with Smackdown and she’s going to throw Bischoff out.

Stephanie goes to the back in full power walk mode to find Bischoff talking to the Un-Americans. We get the big staredown that a total of four people care about. Bischoff is willing to leave but says a lot can happen in three days. He’ll see her at Vengeance, assuming her AMAZING PRESENCE doesn’t melt him before then.

So yeah…..this isn’t a surprise. Everyone knew Stephanie’s banishment would never last because WWE exists as a way to make her look awesome. Ignore the fact that people don’t care and Stephanie’s angry voice is more funny than intimidating. This is the new version of Vince vs. Flair and Stephanie is a weaker talker than either of them, meaning things are already looking down.

Tajiri vs. Billy Kidman

The announcers hit the “let’s praise Stephanie” button in a hurry as the match is easily ignored. Tajiri fires off some chops in the corner but the reversal is enough to make the announcers acknowledge the match, only 54 seconds after the bell. Kidman gets caught in the Tarantula and we hit a chinlock to keep things slow. A good superkick drops Kidman but he bulldogs Tajiri down and drops the Shooting Star for the pin.

Rating: C. This was a victim of time as there’s only so much you can do in about 3:45 with a chinlock in the middle and a crowd that is still annoyed at the Stephanie announcement. The cruiserweights are starting to get somewhere and it’s only going to get better with Mysterio coming in as the division’s star.

Jamie Noble comes after Kidman and, with the help of Tajiri’s mist, powerbomb him down.

Jericho goes to see Stephanie and is given a match with Edge next week. Swearing ensues after he leaves.

Rey Mysterio is here next week.

The announcers run down the Vengeance card.

Kurt Angle vs. The Rock

Before the match, Angle promises to make Rock tap. Undertaker comes out to watch so just pencil in the post match brawl now. Rock charges to the ring and does those one punch knockdowns. They head outside with Rock suplexing him on the ramp but getting catapulted into the post for one of those awesome bumps.

Angle stomps him down and gets two off a clothesline, only to walk into a belly to belly. There will be no suplexing our American hero though and the rolling German suplexes get two on Rock. Angle spends a bit too much time talking to Undertaker but is perfectly fine with more suplexes.

A long chinlock fills in some time before the Angle Slam, with Rock bumping so hard it almost looked like a reverse AA, gets two. Rock pops back up and grabs the quickly broken Sharpshooter. They head outside with Rock going after Undertaker, only to catch Angle in the spinebuster without much effort. The People’s Elbow is loaded up but Undertaker comes in for the DQ.

Rating: B-. Not a great match or anything but perfectly acceptable as a big time TV main event, especially with Rock making his big comeback here. The triple threat will be fine and as long as it gets the title off of Undertaker, everything will be fine. Angle and Rock always have chemistry together and this was good, especially given the circumstances.

Post match Angle chairs Undertaker down and puts Rock in the ankle lock.

HHH is going to his limo (Was he even on the show?) when Stephanie comes up to him. She wants to have a professional discussion with him but HHH only asks if she’s gaining weight. He gets in the limo and Bischoff is waiting for him. Stephanie shouts a lot (I’m shocked) to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. I really can’t emphasize how much that Stephanie announcement sucked the life out of this show. It really does make you realize how much none of this show or company matter because it’s all about the McMahons. Even the Rock, who might be the most charismatic wrestler of all time, could barely make a dent in what Stephanie brings to this show. It’s an entertaining night but you can really feel where things change all at once.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

When Could Chris Jericho Be Leaving WWE?

http://wrestlingrumors.net/when-could-chris-jericho-be-leaving-wwe/

What Other Gimmicks Were Considered for Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks? December 7, 2016.

http://wrestlingrumors.net/what-other-gimmicks-were-considered-for-charlotte-vs-sasha-banks/

Two NXT Tag Team Title Matches Announced. December 8, 2016.

http://wrestlingrumors.net/two-nxt-tag-team-title-matches-announced/

Update on the NXT Title Situation. December 8, 2016.

http://wrestlingrumors.net/update-on-the-nxt-title-situation/

Ring of Honor Title to be Defended at “Wrestle Kingdom 11.” December 8, 2016.

http://wrestlingrumors.net/ring-honor-title-defended-wrestle-kingdom-11/

Vince McMahon Changes Mind on WWE Network. December 8, 2016.

http://wrestlingrumors.net/vince-mcmahon-changes-mind-wwe-network/

Two More “Smackdown Live” Wrestlers Injured. December 8, 2016.

http://wrestlingrumors.net/two-smackdown-live-wrestlers-injured/

WWE Wishes Legend Happy Birthday, Return Possible? December 9, 2016.

http://wrestlingrumors.net/wwe-wishes-legend-happy-birthday-return-possible/

AJ Styles Pulled From More Shows. December 9, 2016.

http://wrestlingrumors.net/aj-styles-pulled-shows/

Two TNA Talents Reportedly Gone. December 10, 2016.

http://wrestlingrumors.net/two-tna-talents-reportedly-gone/

Smackdown
Date: July 11, 2002
Location: Boardwalk Hall, Atlantic City, New Jersey
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the week after a big show and the top story is the return of the Rock. It’s not clear what he’s going to be doing here but odds are it’s something rather simple that is going to be considered amazing because it’s the Rock. If nothing else he needs to start the build towards Vengeance when he challenges for the World Title. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s World Title match which ended in a draw.

Opening sequence.

John Cena is in the main event tag. That’s a big, big step forward in a hurry.

Tag Team Titles: Edge/Hulk Hogan vs. Billy and Chuck

Billy and Chuck are challenging. Edge spinwheel kicks Chuck in the face to start but Billy snaps off a tilt-a-whirl slam to take over. As the beating ensues, it’s hard to ignore Hogan playing cheerleader. That’s one thing I always love about Hogan in tag matches: he almost never stops moving on the apron. It might be slapping the turnbuckle or pacing back and forth but he’s rarely just standing there watching. There’s a lot that can be done from that spot and it’s something not enough people do.

The double and triple teaming has Edge in trouble before we hit the chinlock to slow things down even more. Billy walks into the half nelson faceplant and it’s off to Hogan for the usual. The big boot hits Chuck’s chest/shoulder area and the one to Billy is even less accurate. Rico offers a distraction so the Fameasser can get two on Hulk. Another big boot sets up the legdrop to retain.

Rating: D+. The important thing here: the match ran 6:16 and Hogan was in the ring for about a fourth of that. Hogan wrestling less than two minutes a match but getting to do all of his signature stuff is the best thing he can do right now. Good enough match and it ends the threat of Billy and Chuck getting another shot.

Cena comes up to Undertaker (his partner tonight) to thank him for the chance tonight. Undertaker doesn’t seem to care because he’s worried about the Rock.

Torrie Wilson was doing a beach photo shoot earlier today when Molly Holly interrupted. She thinks wrestling is what matters and offers Torrie a title shot tonight. Torrie: “Ok, I’ll do it.”

The agents try to get Undertaker out of the parking lot but he’ll have none of that. A limo arrives but it’s Chris Jericho/Kurt Angle, Undertaker and Cena’s opponents tonight. Insults are exchanged and a brawl breaks out. Vince comes in for the save and some yelling.

Post break, Undertaker wants to know where Cena was. Cena says Undertaker threw him out but Undertaker yells about Cena not having his back. Undertaker thinks Cena won’t last long if he doesn’t get it together. So I guess he got it together.

Women’s Title: Torrie Wilson vs. Molly Holly

Holly is defending. Torrie gets in a slap and that’s about it for her early offense. Molly chokes on the ropes for a bit until Torrie catapults her into the corner. Some right hands in the corner have little effect as Torrie gets powerbombed out of the corner, setting up a leglock for a pin (kind of odd) to retain Molly’s title.

Rock is here.

Mark Henry/Randy Orton vs. Reverend D-Von/Batista

D-Von cheap shots Orton to start and the early beating sends Randy outside. That means it’s time for Batista to show off the power for a bit. Orton avoids a knee drop though and Henry comes in to clean house with his own power. Everything breaks down and Henry clotheslines both of them down at the same time, only to have Batista hit a Regal Roll of all things. The spinebuster ends Henry in a hurry.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here, including Orton who disappeared halfway through the match. They need to go somewhere with this idea before Orton loses what little steam he has. At least Batista and D-Von are getting somewhere with this though and that’s a big accomplishment in WWE at this point.

Hogan and Edge are going gambling. Rock comes in and Hogan takes credit for the Wrestlemania match. Rock: “You been forgetting to take your vitamins lately?” He’ll even join them at the casino after some business is taken care of. Rock mocks Hogan a bit behind his back and Edge says Mr. Nanny smoked the Scorpion King. Edge and Rock is an odd visual as their generations mostly never crossed.

Here’s Rock in the arena for the first time in a long time. Before he can get to the point though, he brings in rapper Busta Rhymes to plug an album and movie. This goes nowhere so they sing Under the Boardwalk and of course all of this is edited off the Network. After the singing ends, Rock calls out Undertaker but gets Angle instead.

Kurt thinks he’s the one Rock needs to be worried about because he can make Rock tap just like he did to Hogan. Oh and if Puff Daddy wants a shot, Kurt can make him tap too. Kurt: “I speak that jive!” After taking a bit to figure it out, Rock starts making Dr. Evil jokes. Apparently Angle isn’t a Mike Myers fan (smart man) and wants Rock next week. Rock agrees and puts Angle in the ankle lock until Undertaker comes out to clean house. This was a bit long but Rock vs. Angle should be great.

We recap the Un-Americans interrupting America the Beautiful last week.

Test vs. Rikishi

Rikishi sends him into the steps before the match as his way of standing up for America. The bell rings and Test turns him inside out with the clothesline. For some reason Storm has to hit a superkick, setting up a nearly botched pumphandle slam for two. Rikishi loads up the Banzai Drop for two but it’s too early for a Stinkface. Not that it matters as the Samoan drop ends Test in a hurry. Short match but they did a lot here, including having part of the new heel stable lose despite interference.

Post match the trio goes fater Rikishi until Edge and Hogan make the save.

Stacy and Vince are about to remove clothing when Jericho comes in to ask nothing in particular. Vince asks that he give up his match against Edge so we can have a Tag Team Title match at the pay per view. Jericho is offered a reward to be named later.

Jamie Noble, Nidia and Tajiri are rather disgusting at a restaurant. Noble talks about how he’s never had anything but the title means he’s not poor anymore. That’s not something I’m naturally going to boo.

We look at the NWO’s actions on Raw. Nash will be out for a long time.

Tajiri/Jamie Noble vs. Hurricane/Billy Kidman

Jamie and Billy run the ropes to start until Hurricane sneaks in with a hot tag to take the champ down. Tajiri comes in and starts snapping off the kicks for a bit until a miss allows the tag off to Kidman. Everything breaks down and some heel miscommunication sets up a Hurricane flip dive. Back in and a super sitout powerbomb ends Noble, likely giving Kidman a future title shot.

Rating: B-. They didn’t stop moving in the time they had but they only had a little over three minutes. Kidman as the next challenger is fine, especially when you consider the winner is just holding the title until Rey Mysterio gets here. Fun match though as the wrestling actually worked for once tonight.

Rock isn’t sure how Coach shrunk and turned to become Marc Lloyd. He went gambling today and the big Vengeance slot machine came up with three Brahma Bulls. Rock will be waiting here to see the end of the show, which sounds like a threat.

Rey Mysterio is coming in two weeks.

John Cena/Undertaker vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Jericho

Undertaker and Jericho get things going with Chris actually winning the early fist fight. Cena comes in and gets beaten down, only to have Angle go shoulder first into the post. The rookie doesn’t know how to follow up though and Angle snaps him over with a belly to belly.

Some Canadian stomping keeps Cena in trouble until he powerslams Angle for a breather. Undertaker comes in as everything breaks down, including a ref bump. The Angle Slam gets a delayed two on Undertaker and it’s back to Cena. Undertaker saves his new little buddy from the Lionsault and an Oklahoma roll puts Jericho away.

Rating: C+. Cena getting the pin here is important but not as important as him being treated as someone on this level. He might have gotten beaten up a little bit but he hung in there well enough and wasn’t destroyed. You can pencil in Jericho vs. Cena for Vengeance and that should be another good night for Cena.

The brawl continues post match with Undertaker putting Angle in a dragon sleeper. Cue Rock to lay out both guys with Rock Bottoms to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Even with the star power and rookies being pushed, Smackdown continues to be the most middle of the road show ever. The wrestling and storytelling are fine but there’s still very little to actually get excited about. The show certainly isn’t bad but it’s not the most exciting. Changing a few things up can make this a great show though and it’s much better than the horrible Raw shows.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 29, 1999
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 13,222
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This was a special request for one specific reason: Test and Stephanie McMahon are getting married. Oh how I remember this and how I remember how you could feel the Russo effect, even though he’s already left the promotion. Test was one of Russo’s big projects and this is pretty much the high point of his career, which should tell you everything you need to know about him. Let’s get to it.

Big Show/Kane vs. Viscera/Big Boss Man

This is during Big Show’s original WWF World Title reign and it’s still odd to see this version of him with the title. Kane has Tori in his corner. Big Show and Boss Man immediately fight to the floor so we’re down to Kane vs. Viscera inside. The masked man takes over but here’s X-Pac to hit Kane in the back with a chair. An X-Factor onto the chair sets up a Viscera splash for the pin in less than two minutes.

X-Pac spits at Tori and kicks her in the head.

We recap Test proposing to Stephanie and Vince making Test’s life a nightmare as a result. This includes Stephanie taking a bump on the head and getting amnesia. She’s marrying Test anyway.

Here’s D-Generation X (heels here) for a chat. After some random music cuts off, HHH wants to talk to Vince. It’s Vince’s fault that this has escalated so much, leaving DX no choice but to get a temporary order of protection (I’m really not a fan of that idea but it keeps coming up in wrestling). We see a clip of Vince ramming DX’s limo with his own car and HHH says there will be NO wedding here tonight.

Cue Vince to laugh at the idea that DX needs protection from him. As for tonight, Vince is giving Test a special wedding present: a one on one match with HHH. The rest of DX gets a six man tag against Rock/Mankind/a partner of their choosing just because the boss is feeling generous. Finally, if anyone interferes in the wedding tonight, they’ll be fired.

Al Snow talks to Head, guaranteeing that he’ll be Rock and Mankind’s mystery partner in the six man.

Edge vs. Matt Hardy

Matt has Terri in his corner. Edge charges into an elbow in the corner to start and a bad looking tornado DDT puts the Canadian down. Since this match is going to be lucky to get two and a half minutes, Edge picks up the pace by grabbing an atomic drop. A German suplex gets two on Matt but he comes right back with a superplex for the same. The cameraman gets decked and the partners get involved, leading to a spear ending Matt.

Rating: C. These guys always have chemistry together but, as usual, you need more time than just a few minutes to get anywhere. The interference didn’t need to exist but you can see another big match coming because that’s all these guys were allowed to be. Things would get a bit better once Lita would replace Terri as well.

We go to Stephanie’s bachelorette party last night, complete with Fabulous Moolah, Mae Young and Truth or Dare. This goes nowhere, yet.

Here’s Intercontinental Champion Chyna with her bad thumb for a chat. Her thumb has been feeling better since hitting Chris Jericho in the head with a hammer (this is WAY too causal of a line) so he needs to get out here so she can finish the job. Cue Jericho to show us a clip of the hammer shot(s), which COMPLETELY ruined his Thanksgiving. He’ll be ready for their match at the pay per view but here’s Miss Kitty (Chyna’s semi-lesbian servant) to blast him with a fire extinguisher.

Back to the party where more drinking ensues.

Godfather vs. Steve Blackman

They trade kicks to start and Godfather’s spinning legdrop gets two. A bicycle kick ends Godfather in a minute.

The Acolytes and the freshly debuted Dudley Boyz play cards and insults are exchanged.

Dance time at the party.

Snow tries to get Mankind to accept him as his partner, even though Al hates Rock.

Too Cool vs. Hollys

Before the match, Hardcore makes unoriginal fat jokes about Rikishi. Crash starts, gets caught with the Worm and is finished by the Trash Compactor in less than a minute.

Rikishi gives Hardcore a Banzai Drop, followed by the required dancing.

It’s striptease time!

HHH vs. Test

Someone in a Vince McMahon mask comes out to referee. Ok then. Anyway Test slugs away to start as the announcers immediately start talking about the angle instead of the match because that’s what matters around here. The Stooges are in the back, shouting to Vince that he needs to see this. HHH comes back with right hands and his kneedrop for no cover.

Instead HHH starts pounding in right hands to the face before choking away. A sleeper slow things down even more but the referee pulls HHH off. That always good looking gutwrench powerbomb plants HHH but he escapes the pumphandle powerslam. The referee won’t count a cover off a facebuster so HHH goes for the mask. Cue Shane McMahon with a chair to HHH’s head, setting up Test’s top rope elbow for the pin.

Rating: D. I was waiting on Vince to come out and reveal Shane as the referee so well done on not going with the obvious. This is the high point of Test’s in ring career and it means a grand total of nothing because it’s a match in 1999. As usual it was all about the angle, which is only going to have something resembling a payoff because there’s so much other stuff to cover.

Someone sends Stephanie a shot, which she downs like a pro.

HHH orders the cops to arrest Vince.

We look at last week’s gravy bowl match with Miss Kitty needing the Heimlick Manuever to remove a mushroom from her throat. The EMT who saved her was attacked by Ivory and Michael Cole (looking even more like a goon than he does today) brings her out for a chat. The EMT, named B.B., was humiliated by Ivory ripping her shirt off….and wants an evening gown match. Ivory comes out with some insults before clothing is removed. This was some of the most awkward exchanges I’ve ever seen, even by WWF standards.

Patterson and Briscoe say Vince was with them the entire time.

Val Venis vs. Kurt Angle

After Val does his regular schtick (something about scoring like Shaq), Angle rips on this town for having no values. Venis jumps him from behind but is sent outside to turn this into a bit of a brawl. Back in and Angle’s sleeper is countered into a Blue Thunder Bomb for two (of course). Cue the British Bulldog (feuding with Val) to break up the Money Shot, allowing Angle to get two of his own off a superplex. Bulldog hits Val in the back with a chair to set up the Olympic Slam for the pin.

Rating: D. More of the same problems here as we’re actually setting up British Bulldog vs. Val Venis for reasons that aren’t important enough to explain. At the same time, KURT ANGLE, who debuted less than a month ago, can’t even get any attention because we’re setting up some low level midcard match? Really? That’s the best they can do?

Snow is STILL trying to get on the team and keeps insulting Rock. Cue Rock of course, who can’t believe he’s talking about someone named Al. Rock’s advice is for Snow to dress up like a Los Angeles King and do a certain something with the hockey stick. Rock leaves but Snow and Foley are still on for Disneyland tomorrow. The fans were eating Rock up here.

D-Generation X vs. The Rock/Mankind/???

The mystery partner is…..Kane. Makes sense. Kane and Gunn start things off with Billy’s arm being twisted around. Everything breaks down in a hurry with Foley taking a beating while the announcers rip on literary critics for not reading his book. Back in and Gunn spits at Rock so the triple teaming can continue. Someone needs to teach DX how to do the Unicorn Stampede. A low blow gets Mankind out of trouble and everything breaks down off the hot tag to Rock. The Rock Bottom looks to finish Gunn but it’s Snow running in with a Head shot to Dogg, drawing the DQ.

Rating: D+. Slightly better here due to the charisma involved but the lack of time or really anything all that interesting brings it right back down. The Rock N Sock Connection was a funny team but they were another good example of the titles being turned into a prop instead of being used as something important.

Rock beats Snow up.

Back to the poker game where the Acolytes cheat. Bubba: “You sure ain’t the Public Enemy.”

Linda sees Stephanie in the wedding dress and nearly loses it.

Test is nervous.

Bubba bets all of his money because he has six aces in five card draw. The fight is on with the Dudleyz getting the better of things until it’s broken up.

DX is very happy about something.

It’s time for the wedding with the bridesmaids and groomsmen (various wrestlers). After Shane escorts Linda out, here’s Test to his theme music. Eh I like the song so it’s cool. Stupid but cool. Thankfully Stephanie doesn’t have music yet so she comes out to Here Comes the Bride. It’s better than that stupid rap song she has now. The minister says a blessing and two people sing a song.

The main issue here is Stephanie’s face as she doesn’t know how to convey more than about two emotions. Therefore, while it’s supposed to be the happiest day of her life, she looks like she’s about to slap everyone in the ring. We get to the all important “speak now or forever hold their peace”…..and here’s HHH.

Test puts on his mad face as HHH shows us a video. With the camera in the backseat, HHH drives his car into the Little White Chapel and of course picks the cheapest option. HHH talks to….I guess the minister and reveals the unconscious Stephanie in the front seat (Audience: “GASP!”).

HHH does a falsetto voice because THIS WEDDING PERSON IS A FREAKING MORON WHO DOESN’T REALIZE STEPHANIE IS OUT COLD and somehow they’re married. The guy who brought Stephanie the shot earlier is revealed as the cameraman as the couple drives away. Back in the arena, HHH says he’s now a member of the immediate family. That leaves one question for DAD: “How many times did we consummate the marriage?” The McMahons are in tears to end the show.

DANG. I haven’t seen this in full in a long time but my goodness this was amazing. Everyone knew HHH was going to do something big but I don’t think anyone had any idea that it could actually be this big. This is the moment that turned HHH from a top heel to THE heel and Stephanie turning on her dad the next month would make it even better. Couple that with the Rock rising up the card to fight HHH and there’s no wonder why the next year would be some of the best stuff the company has ever done.

It should also be noted that this was NOT Russo’s story. This was one of the first big stories of a guy named Chris Kreski, who had this boneheaded idea of planning stories out and slowly building towards the big payoffs instead of the tried and true method of making this nonsense up as he went with 34 different twists in a two hour show. Clearly that’s how wrestling works and not this “storytelling” thing.

Overall Rating: D. The transition between Russo and sanity wasn’t kind as there were still all the bad matches with no time (two matches lasted less than Goldberg vs. Lesnar II) and the angles all over the place didn’t help things. However, as bad as those were, the star power on the show was more than enough to carry a lot of the dead weight and that’s why 2000 was so great.

With Rock as the undisputed #1 face in the world, Mankind as the perfect comedy buffoon sidekick and HHH as the biggest heel since Vince, the sky was the limit going into the new year. Unfortunately we weren’t there yet and needed a Radical change in the midcard to really make things work. It’s still a work in progress but also the start of a great lesson of what you can do when the effort is put in. Check out the wedding in full if you’ve never seen it though as it’s some of HHH’s best work ever.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: June 27, 2002
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re in the big city tonight and it’s time for a new challenger to face Undertaker. I know Jeff Hardy is getting a title shot on Raw next week but it’s fairly clear that we’re getting some combination of Rock/HHH/Undertaker for the title at Vengeance. Why Smackdown is getting back to back pay per view title shots isn’t immediately clear. Let’s get to it.

Vince is in the ring and brings out Kurt Angle before leaving. Thanks for showing up boss. At least it was short though. Angle says he might as well be the poster boy for ruthless aggression and goes into his big victory speech for making Hogan tap. The wig is finally removed for good and Angle issues an open challenge to anyone he’s never faced before.

And now, wrestling history. Cole: “Tazz I know this kid. That’s John Cena.” Angle asks why Cena thinks he can come out here and face him like this. Cena says ruthless aggression and slaps the taste out of Angle’s match to start things off in a hurry. You can feel the intensity in him though of course no one knew how big he was based off those ten seconds.

Kurt Angle vs. John Cena

Cena takes him outside and keeps hammering away before a running splash gets two. Kurt picks the ankle and snaps off the first German suplex to put both guys down. A rollup gets two for Cena but Angle blasts him down with a clothesline. They’re certainly going hard out there and it’s working so far.

Cena throws him off to break a front facelock and gets two off a good looking spinebuster. The Angle Slam is countered into a DDT for some near falls (Taz: “RUTHLESS AGGRESSION! THERE IT IS!” Is that what it is? Multiple pinfall attempts?) and a powerslam gets the same. Kurt finally has enough and grabs a double chickenwing rollup for the pin.

Rating: B. For a rookie making his debut against a top star, this was a heck of a match as, save for that front facelock, they were going at top speed for the entire match. You can see something in Cena but it takes more than a five minute match to make a career. The presence is there though and that’s something you either have or you don’t.

Cena offers a handshake but Angle walks away. Kurt teases coming back for more but decides it’s not worth it. One important point here: Angle gives a big sigh of relief when he knows Cena can’t see him anymore. Little things like that sell moments like this so much more.

Kidman, Faarooq and Rikishi are congratulating Cena when Undertaker comes up. The champ asks his name and extends his hand for a good job. I know I said they need to make new stars but Angle and Undertaker in less than half an hour? That’s a rub that you don’t see very often, if ever.

Tag Team Titles: Hardcore Holly/Big Valbowski vs. Billy and Chuck

Hard Val is challenging, apparently after wanting to team up for years. Why they didn’t do so isn’t explained, nor is the fact that they’re making their debut and are apparently the second best tag team on Smackdown on arrival. Chuck charges into a right hand to start but Val does the same, suggesting that he isn’t the best student in the world.

Holly gets beaten down in the corner as Cole praises Billy and Chuck for being surprisingly good. They’re two time Tag Team Champions at this point and you’re still surprised that they’re a good team? That’s slow even for Cole. A belly to back suplex is enough for the hot tag to Val but Rico offers a distraction, setting up the Fameasser to retain.

Rating: C-. Here’s the thing: Venis and Holly are fine for a veteran team and could be perfectly fine as eventual challengers if you give them some promos and a few wins over jobbers. However, since there’s no tag division to speak of, they’re thrown out there against the champs and already lose. Where are they supposed to go from here? Take the time and build a division as you have a bunch of people sitting around (Kidman, Faarooq and Rikishi come to mind) doing nothing. Make something up and give them a reason to team. The rest can take care of itself.

Here’s Torrie Wilson to preview the Divas Undressed special. She takes off her robe, walks around in lingerie and that’s it. No angle, no talking, nothing at all. At least it was short.

Tajiri likes looking at Nidia so Jamie Noble offers her to him if they win their tag match later.

HHH has been fighting through an elbow injury and is all tough but had to have it fixed in the operating room. After this deadly operation he’ll be out……FOR TWO TO THREE WEEKS!!! Taz teases he’ll be back next week actually. This got way too much time for something like that, especially when you could just say he was banged up after the pay per view or something.

Mark Henry vs. Lance Storm

Storm is here to prove how unfair American referees really are. We’re not ready yet though as we need to look at Mark Henry lifting some 100+ year old 172lb dumbbell. Henry throws him around to start but a rake of the eyes breaks up a press slam. Storm gets tossed outside and then thrown back in because Henry is really strong. Another eye rake gets Storm out of a bearhug and Henry misses a Vader Bomb, setting up the superkick to give Lance the pin. Again: Henry is STRONG. We get it already.

Here’s Undertaker for a chat. He recaps the pay per view main event and takes credit for HHH undergoing elbow surgery. Cole: “HHH is actually OUT of the hospital now!” Undertaker wants to know where Rock thinks he fits into that match and here’s a clip of Sunday’s fighting. Rock will be back here on July 11 (the FULL TIME Rock of course because he doesn’t do this part time nonsense) and Undertaker will make him pay for King of the Ring.

This brings out Kurt Angle of all people, who wants a title shot next week, assuming Undertaker gets by Jeff Hardy on Raw. Undertaker eventually agrees, even though Angle had trouble getting by a rookie tonight. That’s cool with Kurt, but he asks to touch the title. The champ actually lets him do it (moron) and is in the ankle lock almost immediately. You don’t see Undertaker acting that stupid very often and, along with that handshake earlier, suggests a face/tweener turn.

Torrie models more lingerie. Yeah she looks amazing but this is the kind of thing that makes people criticize wrestling.

Test vs. Rikishi

They take turns beating on each other in the corner but the referee won’t let Test throw a punch. Rikishi hits a superkick but gets slowed down by a low blow. The Test Drive is broken up and the ref is bumped, earning Test a DQ loss even though Rikishi shoved him into the ref. I don’t know why wrestling can never learn that no one cares about referee stories.

Test gets a Stinkface before Christian and Storm can come out for the late save.

Vince calls Hogan into his office and the boss is really, really happy about Hogan tapping out on Sunday. Hogan implies that they’ll fight one day and Vince is aghast.

Test rants about how much America sucks.

Billy Kidman/Hurricane vs. Tajiri/Jamie Noble

The bad guys take over to start and Noble has to bail from the threat of a chokeslam. That’s fine with Hurricane as he tries a double chokeslam, only to shove them both down instead. Kidman hiptosses his partner onto Noble but walks into the Tajiri elbow. The Tarantula makes things even worse but a tornado DDT is countered into a sitout powerbomb. Now the chokeslam works for Hurricane and the shooting star puts Tajiri away.

Rating: C+. They’re getting close to having something with this division as it’s slowly building after being nothing interesting for weeks on end. Add a few more names to the thing, perhaps one being the King of Mystery, and they really could have something special. Imagine that: a division works when you have distinct characters instead of people who look, act and work the same.

Torrie and Stacy Keibler are catty to each other because that’s what women in wrestling do. While wearing lingerie of course.

Torrie, now billed as appetizing, wears a third outfit. Stacy comes out in a schoolgirl outfit and gets a far bigger pop. We’re not done yet as Dawn Marie comes out as well and the blondes get in a catfight. This is so beyond a waste of time.

Chris Jericho isn’t sure what he’ll use to beat Hogan tonight but he’d love to make him tap.

Rey Mysterio is coming.

Reverend D-Von/Deacon Batista vs. Faarooq/Randy Orton

This is Batista’s in ring debut and the first time he’s been seen without a shirt. Orton does his rookie offense on D-Von to start until a dropkick of all things puts Randy down. A superplex is broken up and Orton scores with a middle rope bulldog. Faarooq comes in to clean house but the Dominator is countered with a DDT. It’s already back to Orton for a high crossbody, only to have Batista come in off the blind tag. That wicked clothesline blasts Orton and a spinebuster (with multiple camera cuts, suggesting a botch or an edit) finishes Randy in a hurry.

Rating: C-. They were smart to have Batista only come in at the end for the big power display, making this an effective debut. The thing is you have two teams right here plus the champs and Venis/Holly. These are three teams thrown together in the span of a few weeks and you’re getting close to a division. Simple ideas (gimmick/enforcer, two veterans, veteran/rookie) are fine and can grow into something else until the next big team can be put together. Why is that so complicated?

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Hulk Hogan vs. Chris Jericho

The fans are WAY into Hogan here (hardly shocking in a town like Chicago) as Jericho is backdropped to start. It’s too early for the big elbow though (always seems weird to be anything but a big leg or boot) and Jericho gets in a low blow to take over. The fans are all over Jericho so he does the hand to the ear before going way old school with the abdominal stretch.

Just in case the words ABDOMINAL STRETCH aren’t clear enough, Cole points out that it hurts your gut. Hogan’s comeback is countered as Jericho slides under the big boot (that’s what happens when you stop fighting giants) and hits the bulldog into the Lionsault for two. Jericho has had enough of the Hulking Up and hits Hogan with a chair for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Not the worst match in the world here with Jericho doing the work and letting Hogan do all of his spots. This isn’t a case of Hogan showing anyone up and the match was actually fine, all things considered. There’s value in Hogan giving people rubs like this, but he can only do it for so long before it stops mattering.

Jericho loads up a Conchairto the arm but his own countdown comes up. Cue the returning Edge (who Cole can’t recognize from behind despite him having a pretty easy shape to recognize) for the save and beatdown. Posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The wrestling was up and down here but this was ALL about the new talent. That might not always mean new people but it did a lot of good for setting things up for the future. There are skeletons of tag and cruiserweight divisions though that’s not what matters the most.

Tonight we saw a focus on John Cena, Batista and Randy Orton with Rey Mysterio debuting soon. While none of them are stars yet, those four are fresh ideas who could mean something to the company, which isn’t what you get around here. They’re actually setting something up and that’s what matters more than anything else. I liked the show a lot and there’s stuff I want to see instead of all the nonsense that keeps going on around here for so long. Good show here (with the least Vince in a LONG time) and a lot of hope for the future.

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