Monday Night Raw – February 25, 2002: Well, That Happened

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 25, 2002
Location: Dunkin Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Attendance: 10,059
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re getting closer to Wrestlemania and the main events are set. The only change so far has been Stephanie joining Jericho on Smackdown to set up the real main event of HHH vs. Stephanie at Wrestlemania. Other than that there isn’t much to say as the midcard will fill itself in over the next few weeks. Let’s get to it.

I’ve already done the March 4 and March 11 shows. The links can be found at the end of this review.

We open with a recap from the NWO on Smackdown for what they’ve done to Austin and Rock so far. Austin came out in the truck and chased the NWO off, eventually kidnapping Hall and beating the tar out of him. Why this is set to Rey Mysterio’s WCW theme music is beyond me.

Theme song.

Val Venis is at WWE New York.

Here’s the NWO to open the show with Hall pushing a wheelbarrow. Hogan doesn’t care that the fans are upset by his attack on Rock. It felt good to hurt Rock and apparently Rock will be here tonight because being hit in the head with a hammer by a 6’6 300lb man and being crushed by a semi-truck is a one week injury. Hall talks about what Austin did to him on Smackdown, setting up their Wrestlemania match. The wheelbarrow was never mentioned at all.

Recap of the WWF on Fear Factor, won by Matt Hardy.

Tag Titles: Billy and Chuck vs. Hardy Boyz

Billy and Chuck won the belts on Smackdown. Chuck punches Jeff down to start but gets caught in a jawbreaker. Off to Matt for some double teaming in the corner and a double suplex for two. The Twist of Fate is broken up and Billy takes Matt down with a clothesline. Chuck stomps Matt down in the corner and pounds away, only to be caught in a suplex to put both guys down.

A double tag brings in Jeff and Billy as everything breaks down. Both champions take Poetry in Motion but Billy breaks up the Swanton attempt. Billy’s cobra clutch slam gets two on Jeff but Lita comes in with the Litarana to take him down. The Twist/Swanton combination takes Billy down but Chuck superkicks Jeff down for the pin to retain.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have enough time to go anywhere but the tag titles continue to mean nothing at all. They’re just kind of there at this point with no story at all. Billy and Chuck are the flavor of the month which is all we’ll see for the next several years. Nothing to see here.

Jericho and his new business partner Stephanie McMahon arrive. Jericho has a video for a production guy.

Austin has nothing to say.

Arn Anderson says he’ll hold the fort down until Flair gets here. Christian comes in and wants to quit because the fans are laughing at him. Diamond Dallas Page and his creepy smile pop in behind him and tells Christian that he doesn’t want to quit. See, all the negativity is holding Christian back. Page gets Christian to do the smile as well, saying it’s a start. As corny as this is, looking at what Page has accomplished with Jake Roberts and Scott Hall, I’d listen to what Page told me to do.

Austin does the WHAT bit and accepts the match with Hall.

We look at Angle putting Kane through a table and destroying his ankle with a chair from Smackdown.

Lance Storm vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Big Show

Intercontinental Champion William Regal is on commentary as the winner of this gets a title shot. The champion wants Lance to win here. Storm kicks Rob down to start and tries to dive on Big Show, only to be tossed back into the ring. Show slams both guys down for two but Rob gets in some kicks and Rolling Thunder for two on Storm. Big Show throws everyone around again so the normal sized guys try to double team him. A double suplex puts both guys down so Storm brings in a chair. Rob hits a top rope kick to drive it into Show’s face and the Five Star sends him to Wrestlemania in less than three minutes.

Booker T is learning Japanese for a shampoo commercial in one of the most infamous storylines of the era.

The APA gets an invitation to the Friendly Tap. The bar owned by referee Tim White.

Rikishi vs. Booker T

Booker pounds Rikishi down into the corner but walks into a powerslam for two. A spin kick puts Rikishi down again and Booker stomps away some more. Rikishi comes back with a bad looking Samoan drop but misses a charge into the corner. A Japanese spin kick misses and Rikishi superkicks him into the corner. Booker uses the referee as a shield and kicks Rikishi down for the pin. This was nothing.

Mark Henry won the Arnold Schwarzenegger strongman challenge over the weekend.

Here are Jericho and Stephanie to show us what’s on the tape. Jericho brags about how awesome he is in the ring and how awesome he is now that he has Stephanie’s genius to help him. The tape is a clip of Jericho injuring HHH’s quad last year and putting him out for eight months. Jericho claims that the injury ruined HHH’s marriage, but Stephanie says it was because HHH is very, ahem, small.

This brings out HHH with Stephanie making small jokes all the way to the ring. HHH implies Stephanie is very wide down there with the fans not seeming to get the joke. HHH remembers Jericho is champion and asks for a match tonight even if the titles aren’t on the line. This brings out Angle who apparently has Vince’s authority to give himself a title shot tonight. Angle leaves so HHH beats up Jericho.

Mr. Perfect thinks people are tired of hearing about Austin, which is why they’re fighting tonight.

Women’s Title: Jazz vs. Mighty Molly

Jazz is defending of course and jumps Molly on the floor to start. She even rips up Molly’s cape to really show how EVIL she is. Molly comes back with some Japanese armdrags, only to be caught in a world’s strongest slam for two. A splash gets another two so Jazz drapes Molly over the top rope for two more. Jazz hits a butterfly suplex and the double chicken wing, only to be rolled up for three straight near falls. Molly misses a high cross body and gets caught in the fisherman’s DDT for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here but it wasn’t bad or anything. At the end of the day though, no one cares about either of these girls and the crowd reaction proved it. Trish and Lita were the only girls that people cared about for a long time and as cruel as this sounds, it’s because they’re better looking than Jazz. Molly was cute but she had the personality of a door.

Post match Jazz lays out Molly. Back from a break and Arn Anderson is checking on Molly when Undertaker comes out for the beating to set up Flair vs. Taker at Wrestlemania.

WWF World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho

Angle punches Jericho while he still has the belts on his shoulders. A hard clothesline gets two for Kurt and a German suplex gets the same. There’s the overhead belly to belly for two more as this is all Angle so far. Angle charges again but gets backdropped out to the floor. Jericho rips some of the padding off the barricade to drop Angle across the exposed steel.

Back inside and a reverse elbow off the top gets two followed by some elbow drops for the same. Jericho chops him down but Angle counters a Walls attempt into a small package for two. A hot shot puts Angle down but he runs the corner to suplex Jericho down for another near fall. JR points out the obvious flaw in the match: the fans don’t like either guy so there’s no one to cheer for.

Rolling Germans take the champion over but Jericho escapes the ankle lock into a Walls attempt but Angle rolls through that into the ankle lock. Jericho grabs a rope and puts on the Walls but Kurt makes the rope. Chris throws in a title belt and the ring bell before poking the referee in the eye. Somehow that’s not a DQ so Angle hits Jericho with a belt for two. The ankle lock is broken by a rope grab after only a few seconds and an enziguri sends Kurt to the floor. Cue Kane to throw Angle back into the ring so the Breakdown can end Angle.

Rating: C+. This was good for the most part as you would expect from these two but the ending was WAY overbooked for what they were going for. JR was absolutely right with the whole “fans don’t know who to cheer for” thing, which really dragged the match down. Still though, given how lame the wrestling has been in previous weeks, this was solid stuff.

Kane swings a chair at Angle but Kurt ducks and bails through the crowd.

During the break Flair arrived, over an hour and a half into the show. He heard about Arn and immediately left. Ok then.

Hogan goes into Rock’s locker room.

Back from a break and Hogan is talking to the Rock….who is made of cardboard. Hogan talks a lot of trash and says nothing of note at all. He punches the cardboard down after talking about how big of a legend he is.

The APA goes to the Friendly Tap and get jumped by Billy and Chuck. All of the other patrons were gay men/men in drag as part of some joke that wasn’t funny.

The NWO wishes Perfect good luck tonight.

Mr. Perfect vs. Steve Austin

Austin shoves him into the corner to start and we actually get a clean break. Perfect takes him into the opposite corner and gets flipped off for his efforts. A shoulder block puts Austin down and a headlock sends us to a stalemate. They chop it out in the corner and Austin whips him around the ring a few times, getting two off a clothesline. An elbow to the jaw puts Steve down but Austin shrugs it off, does his stomping and hits the Stunner for the clean pin.

Rating: D. This was there to set up whatever post match stuff we’ve got going on. Perfect was a good guy to bring back in but there was clearly nothing for him to do this time around. Nothing to see here as the crowd didn’t care as most of them probably don’t remember Perfect in the first place.

Post match Hall brings the wheelbarrow full of cinder blocks to the ring. The NWO comes out for the beatdown and one of the blocks is broken over Austin’s right knee. This would explain why Austin spent the next few weeks with his left knee heavily taped.

Overall Rating: D. Well that happened. That was my response to almost everything that happened on tonight’s show: that just happened and it didn’t make me want to see anything at Wrestlemania at all. Austin vs. Hall doesn’t do anything for me, Rock vs. Hogan exists but there’s no Rock to build the match and I don’t know of anyone who wants to see Stephanie vs. HHH. Nothing to see here as Wrestlemania 18 continues to look incredibly lame.

Here’s the March 4 Raw if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/01/09/monday-night-raw-march-4-2002-its-two-weeks-before-mania-right/

Here’s the March 11 Raw if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/09/23/monday-night-raw-march-11-2002-for-the-only-time-in-history-steve-austin-vs-hulk-hogan/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:




Monday Night Raw – February 18, 2002: The Rock And Hulk Hogan

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 18, 2002
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 13,967
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

No Way Out has passed and the main story is Hogan/Hall/Nash have returned to the company for the first time in years. Last night they kept Austin from winning the title, setting up their first feud in the company. Other than that there isn’t much to say, but we’re officially on the road to Wrestlemania, which is only four weeks long this year. Let’s get to it.

Here’s a very ticked off Austin to open the show. He has Jericho beaten last night but the NWO came in when Austin had Jericho right where he wanted him. Three pieces of trash came down to the ring (JR: “That’s the NWO.” Thanks Jimmy.) and now Austin wants them all here right now. The NWO comes to the stage and Austin says he has a Stunner for all of them. They huddle up but Austin says there’s nothing to think about. The NWO comes to the ring but turns around and walks away. Austin says he’s going to stand in this ring and drink beer all night until he gets a piece of the NWO.

We take a break six minutes into the show and come back with Austin threatening to go on strike until the NWO comes out here for a fight. Instead he gets Kurt Angle with a legion of security. Angle has something to say so Austin launches beer cans at him. Kurt says it’s his time now and if there’s one thing he can’t stand it’s a crybaby. Austin is sitting in a chair on the far side of the ring and is hitting Kurt who is only a few feet down the ramp. That’s one heck of an arm.

The security (off duty cops according to Angle) and Angle come to the ring because Angle has an announcement to make. Austin keeps throwing beers and isn’t interested in getting out of the ring at all. Angle finally gets in the ring and says he’ll make his announcement with Austin there: HE’S GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA! Austin is tired of listening and takes Kurt down, drawing in the security for right hands, meaning Austin is being arrested.

Post break Austin is taken into the police car where Angle and the NWO taunt him.

Hardy Boys vs. Lance Storm/Christian

Lance starts with Matt and neither guy can hit a hiptoss. Matt takes him down with a clothesline and it’s off to Jeff for the fangirl pop. A dropkick puts Christian on the floor and Jeff hits the legdrop between Lance’s legs. Jeff goes up top but gets crotched down by Christian who comes in to take over. Jeff makes a quick comeback but misses a dropkick, keeping Christian in control.

Back to Storm who gets kicked in the chest, allowing for the hot tag off to Matt. House is cleaned but everything breaks down. Jeff misses a dive to the floor and Christian gets two off the reverse DDT to Matt. Christian has a tantrum and Lita hits the Litacanrana to Storm on the floor. The Unprettier (Killswitch) is countered into the Twist of Fate and Jeff’s Swanton gets the pin.

Rating: D+. There wasn’t anything to this one and the announcers ignoring the match to talk about how horrible the arrest was didn’t help things. The Hardys’ time was over by this point due to them not having anyone of note to feud with. The Dudleys weren’t going to do anything else of note at the moment so the tag division was clearly on the decline.

Kurt Angle comes in to see Stephanie so she can congratulate him for his accomplishments in the last 24 hours. Flair comes in and makes a rematch of HHH vs. Angle for the Mania title shot with Stephanie barred from ringside. Thanks for paying for the PPV people!

Undertaker asks a stagehand where Flair’s office is. “Uh…Ric Flair?” “THE CO-OWNER OF THE COMPANY! YOUR BOSS! WHERE IS HIS OFFICE!” “Down the hall to the left.” “WAS THAT SO HARD???” That was hilarious for some reason. Taker goes into Flair’s office and wants a match with Naitch at Wrestlemania. Flair says no because he’s an owner now.

The NWO is leaving to go get dinner but Hogan says he has something personal to take care of and to send the car back for him in about half an hour.

Mr. Perfect vs. Kane

Before the match, Perfect calls out Chicago Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher for failing in the playoffs. Mr. Perfect NEVER loses you see. Kane knocks him to the floor with ease as the arena is full of smoke from Kane’s entrance. Back in and Kane easily fights out of the PerfectPlex and the chokeslam is good for the fast pin. Basically a squash.

Here’s Hogan with something to say. He talks about how great it is to be back in a WWF ring because the WWF made him a legend. Hogan and the fans have fought everyone from Russians to monsters to Andre the Giant and they did it all together. Then in 1993, the fans stopped caring about him and drove him out of the WWF, just like the Chicago fans did to Michael Jordan. For doing that, all of the fans can stick it. Hogan goes into a rant about how he made wrestling what it is today and says no one is a bigger icon than he is.

Cue the Rock and it’s time to set up Wrestlemania. They circle each other and Rock takes off the glasses. He does the FINALLY bit and now we get down to business. Rock talks about how amazing it is to see these two in the ring together before saying he agrees with Hogan on a few things. It wasn’t the fans that drove him out of the WWF if that’s what Hogan thinks. Hogan goes to respond but Rock hits him with IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK.

Rock says the people believed in Hogan and the Rock was one of them. After years of eating the vitamins and tearing the t-shirt, Hogan changed everything in WCW and the fans wanted nothing to do with him. Rock acknowledges that Hogan is a legend and an icon, perhaps even the best ever.

Hogan has talked about headlining Wrestlemania after Wrestlemania after Wrestlemania, so how does he feel about headlining one more Wrestlemania with the Rock. The fans REALLY like that idea but they’re not sure who to cheer for. Hogan calls Rock the flavor of the month and asks Rock why he thinks he’s even in Hogan’s league. Rock calmly asks yes or no and appeals to Hogan’s desire to be the definitive best ever. After an appeal to the people and doing Hogan’s hand to the ear, Hogan finally says yes. Eleven and a half years later this still gives me chills.

Since it’s so great though, let’s screw it all up. Hogan wishes Rock luck but Rock says Hogan needs it more BROTHER, before pulling him into a Rock Bottom. Rock goes to leave but Hall and Nash knock him down the aisle and the beatdown is on. Hogan whips Rock with the weightlifting belt and Hall and Nash hit their finishers. Hogan goes under the ring and pulls out a hammer to blast Rock in the back of the head, laying him out cold. It should have probably killed him but it’s wrestling after all. Hogan drops a leg and Hall counts three to really set up Wrestlemania. We even get the spray paint to really hammer things in.

What an awesome segment. It had a great moment with the past and the present dynamic followed by Hogan REALLY nailing the idea of being a heel to stop his face reactions. The hammer stuff was great and Rock can return at Wrestlemania to get his revenge in the awesome moment to make the match even bigger.

Now if you’re a fan of the WWF, you know they’re not going to simply let an awesome moment like that exist on its own.

Rock is taken out on a stretcher and we go to a break. Back with Rock being loaded into an ambulance (with his arms not even secured) and is about to be taken away….when the NWO attacks the ambulance. They beat on it with chains as Hogan is yelling about Plan A. They chain the door shut (even though Rock is out cold) and Hogan says he’s going to lay the Smackdown on Rock.

He proceeds to get into a SEMI-TRUCK and RAMS IT INTO THE AMBULANCE. And there goes the moment. We went from an amazing staredown to this over the top nonsense because wrestling isn’t enough anymore. The NWO looks into the ambulance and panic before running away. JR and Lawler go into serious mode and talk about how real this is. You know, because this kind of stuff happens every day.

Godfather vs. Booker T

You know, because going from Rock nearly being murdered to Godfather is a fine transition. The girls are worried about Rock and Godfather is annoyed with them as a result. Booker stomps him down in the corner as the announcers are still acting all serious. Godfather makes a quick comeback with his usual stuff but the girls are still distracting him. A powerslam puts Booker down but Godfather yells at the girls instead of going for the Ho Train. Booker superkicks him down for the pin.

Paramedics and cops check on Rock.

Goldust/William Regal vs. Edge/Rob Van Dam

Brawl to start of course with the expected pairings going at it until we get Goldust vs. RVD to start. Goldie pounds him down for a bit before Regal comes in and gets caught by a cross body. Back to Goldust to pound on Rob a bit more as Jerry talks about a second ambulance arriving. Rob finally gets in a kick and everything breaks down. Edge spears Regal down and puts on the Edgecator (Sharpshooter but Edge doesn’t step over) for the tap out.

Rating: D. Nothing match here with the announcers again ignoring everything going on for the sake of the Rock stuff. I’d be ok with that if it was something serious, but the truck stuff was so over the top and stupid that there was no way to take it seriously at all. These feuds are going nowhere anyway.

Rock is taken away. Not that we saw him in the last two segments or anything.

Angle is distracted but by Flair’s decision instead of Rock. Cole brings up Rock and Angle feels bad about that too, but Rock didn’t have a Wrestlemania title shot to lose.

Kurt Angle vs. HHH

The winner gets the shot at Wrestlemania, Stephanie is banned from ringside and Jericho is on commentary. Jericho makes fun of the WHAT bit as soon as he sits down in a funny bit. HHH punches him fro the apron but Angle quickly takes the fight to the floor. HHH is sent into the steps and we head inside again with Kurt in control. Angle stops a comeback with a knee to the ribs and gets two off a suplex. Jericho lists off great names like Thesz and Gotch but thinks he’s just a bit better.

Angle stomps away in the corner for two more and puts on an abdominal stretch to the injured ribs. HHH reverses into one of his own, only to be hiptossed down. Another belly to belly gets another two on HHH and there’s a third since the first two went so well. They head outside again with HHH avoiding a charge into the post to hurt Angle’s shoulder. Back in and a neckbreaker puts Kurt down before HHH DDTs him for two. The spinebuster gets two more but Angle counters the Pedigree into a catapult into the corner.

Kurt can’t follow up immediately but he catches HHH in another suplex. The moonsault is countered into a bottom rope electric chair for a very close two. HHH heads to the floor for no apparent reason, only to be caught in another belly to belly onto the mats. A belt shot to HHH’s head puts him down again as Jericho has the referee. It’s only good for two so Angle rolls some Germans and puts on the ankle lock. HHH dives to the ropes and Angle is all ticked off. A Pedigree attempt is countered into the ankle lock again but HHH rolls through and hits the Pedigree to go to Wrestlemania again.

Rating: B. At least the match was good. I don’t think anyone believed there was any chance Angle would win here but at least we got an entertaining twelve minute match to make up for it. The lack of selling the ribs was a bit stupid but at least it wasn’t the focus of the match for the most part.

Overall Rating: C-. Well the showdown and the main event were good but they’re not really enough to save the rest of this show. Wrestlemania is looking like it could be good but the matches aren’t going to be much to see. There’s nothing wrong with going for the hype instead of the substance, but stuff like Rock vs. Hogan does not need the over the top nonsense and it’s dragging things down a good bit. The BIG divide between the main event level and the midcard stuff isn’t helping either.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

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On This Day: September 1, 2011 – Impact Wrestling: Immortal. Yay.

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 1, 2011
Location: Von Braun Center, Huntsville, Alabama
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

No we’re NOT IN ORLANDO TONIGHT! This should be a nice change of pace and it’s always interesting to see the difference between a burned out crowd as the Orlando fans are as opposed to see a fresh group of people seeing it. We get some more building towards No Surrender and it might be the last night of the BFG Series. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Hogan to open the show and threaten to get in a fight with a fan in the front row. He talks about how the Network has approved Sting’s request for a match with Flair which will be in two weeks on the 15th. If Sting wins, it’s Hogan vs. Sting (no date mentioned but Sting said BFG and I can’t imagine it would be any other date) but if Flair wins Sting has to retire. He says it’s time for the Network to start bowing to Hogan instead of the other way.

Here’s Kurt and Hogan apologizes for Dixie screwing him over. Carter can never run things again so tonight it’s Angle vs. Sting so that Angle can cut the cancer out of TNA once and for all. Angle says all of Hogan’s enemies are now his enemies. He promised to take out all of the young guys and would be glad to add a veteran to it.

This brings out Sting who does his usual insane stuff. He’s willing to fight Angle tonight because he wants to I guess. Sting is happy to face Angle so he can move onto Flair and then the big prize of Hogan. Once he beats Hogan, the evil will leave Hogan. Sting goes to leave but Hogan says cut the music. Hogan thinks there’s something going on so Hogan is the guest enforcer.

We get a clip of Crimson being beaten down by Joe and having his leg broken last week. He’s officially out of the BFG Series.

Ray talks about being in the Final Four of the BFG Series and says the title is next.

Roode talks about working his entire career to gethere.

Storm talks about wanting it more than anyone else.

Bound For Glory Series: Gunner vs. Rob Van Dam

For all intents and purposes, the winner is the fourth man. Everyone else is mathematically eliminated and I’m not going to bother listing off the points tonight. It almost has to be Rob going but that would make too much sense so I’m not sure. Joe comes out almost immediately and Morgan jumps up to stop him. Joe kicks him in the balls but security sends him out.

After that we’re back to the match at hand and there’s not much going on. Gunner gets a slingshot suplex but Rob almost rolls out of it. Rob fires off some kicks and hits the Rolling Thunder. Here’s Jerry Lynn but Rob sends him to the back which is probably smart. Rob actually shows some intelligence and doesn’t try to go for the Five Star after being on the floor for a bit.

They trade rollups and Rob falls off the top trying to hit the one footed kick. Rob goes up again but Lynn comes back and shoves him off the top, allowing Gunner to hit a running knee for the pin at 4:57. Lynn’s smile is pretty awesome. This also puts Gunner into the four way at No Surrender as the fourth man.

Rating: C. The match was so-so but the point of this is it sets up a few stories and potential matches. I’m hoping they save RVD vs. Lynn for Philadelphia because it’ll guarantee a huge response no matter what the match looks like. I’m not sure I get why Gunner is going to be in the four way but it’s better than some other choices. At least they seem to have a plan here, which is a big upgrade for them.

Angle vs. Sting is for the world title. I didn’t realize that.

All of the Knockouts are coming to the ring for the announcement about Knockout Law.

After a break here are Eric and Traci for the announcement. Eric praises the Knockouts but then says at the end of the day, they’re still women, meaning they can’t stay focused and are always whining. Traci came to him and offered to lead the Knockouts and more sex is implied. However, Traci isn’t in charge. Karen is and Traci is MAD. Karen has her own music which is an upbeat version of Jeff’s without lyrics.

Karen says the difference between her and the rest of them is she’s a lady. They have to respect her as well. First of all, ODB and Jackie have contracts. Dang it dang it DANG IT. Traci will still have a job, beneath Karen. You can form your own visuals on that one. She’ll be Karen’s assistant, meaning servant for the most part. Tessmacher looks at her bad and is threatened with being fired and sent back to the cabaret.

During the break Winter and Mickie had a staredown and Mickie shoved her, resulting in a catfight.

Jesse Sorensen/Brian Kendrick vs. Kid Kash/Austin Aries

Aries vs. Kendrick at the PPV. Kendrick vs. Kash to start with Kendrick moving way faster than Kash. Arm drag brings in Sorensen who hits a nice dropkick and grabs an armbar. Aries comes in for a bit and is out just as fast. The heels don’t seem to get along but they manage to keep Sorensen in trouble for a bit. He hits a foot to each of their chests and there’s the moderately hot tag to Kendrick.

He kicks both of them and it’s off to Sorensen who gets crotched and almost superplexed. Tower of Doom hits as we go old school X-Division. Sorensen looks dead but manages to send Kash to the floor. Aries hits a suicide dive on Jesse and celebrates a lot. Kendrick is like the chipmunk has pneumonia and takes Aries out. Back inside Kash hits a top rope clothesline and a release suplex to set up a powerbomb but Sorensen rolls him up for the pin at 5:10.

Rating: C+. They packed a lot of stuff in here but it was cool to see an old Cruiserweight style match. It advances both feuds but it’s still nothing I’m dying to see either way. It’s not great but for what it was supposed to be, which was just a five minute match to have Aries vs. Kendrick for a bit, this was fine.

We get a video on Winter and Angelina which was thankfully changed around a lot to keep it from getting way too creepy. Now they’re just vampires which is a lot better than what it could have been.

Winter talks to Angelina about having other lives again. Winter promises to suck the life out of Mickie and the two of them will feast on her bones.

Mickie is tired of the voodoo nonsense. She’s going to wrestle tonight, so Winter needs to bring her A-game.

Video on Jeff Hardy and we actually have the Victory Road incident referenced.

Angle is having coffee and Hogan comes in to yell. He wants Angle to come to New York and take care of the Network, specifically saying kill them. Angle isn’t happy. Hardy gets to have a live mic next week. Oh dear.

Knockouts Title: Winter vs. Mickie James

Mickie goes nuts on her to start and grabs a rollup for two. Angelina tries to throw the belt in and gets ejected. Mickie grabs a half crab and Tazz says it’s very hard to get out of. Less than 3 seconds later Winter grabs the rope and is out of it. Great analysis there Brooklyn dude. Mickie has dominated most of this. The jumping DDT is avoided and both grab the other by the hair and slam them into the mat.

Winter tries that spinning slam but Mickie gets some elbows in and a rollup gets two for each chick. A slow jumping DDT hits for Mickie but Winter gets her foot under the ropes. I’m really glad that wasn’t the ending as it would have looked bad. Enziguri puts Mickie down for two. Winter tries to choke Mickie with something but Hebner makes the save. Mickie kicks Winter upside her head and gets the title back at 6:00.

Rating: D+. This got sloppy in some places like Mickie intentionally having to cover Winter weird so she could get the foot on the ropes. I cannot stand stuff like that because it looks so fake and totally takes the drama out of a near fall. I also don’t get the point in putting the title right back on Mickie after Winter had it for just a few weeks but since this is TNA, I’m sure the answer is “GIVE IT MORE TIME.”

Video on Styles vs. Daniels which is basically Daniels wondering if it’s worth it anymore and wanting one more match to prove it to himself and the fans.

Here’s Morgan to rant about Joe. He says it’s one thing to go after everyone else but now he went suicidal by attacking the Blueprint. He wants a referee too. Joe comes out and beats up the referee and the fight is on. Morgan slugs away and Joe goes for his eyes. Morgan escapes that arm drop move Joe has been using and hammers away.

There are the elbows in the corner and a running Umaga shot in the corner. Joe bails to the floor but pulls the tall guy with him. Morgan loads up the Carbon Footprint but steps on the steps too much, letting Joe know he’s coming. Joe kicks him in the little blueprints and cracks Morgan with a chair to leave him laying. Morgan tries to get up and Joe cracks the arm with a chair against the post, trying to reinjure the torn pec.

Robbie E talks to Rob Terry again and is interrupted by Eric Young. They talk about working out and THE TV TITLE WILL BE DEFENDED NEXT WEEK!!!!! I need my medicine!

Styles and Daniels say it’s time for the last match. They talk about someone coming back again but don’t say who.

Hogan is mad about Hardy coming back and tells Immortal about it. Abyss is standing off in the back and isn’t happy it seems. Hogan talks about how the deck is stacked against Sting tonight and implies that he’ll be calling the rest of Immortal out to help Angle in the main event.

AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels

Back and forth stuff to start as they know each other so well. Daniels works a headlock which gets him nowhere. A big knee drop gets one for AJ. They go to the floor for a bit and AJ gets a bridging inverted chinlock (that Benoit submission that needs a name) and a gutbuster/backbreaker combo for two. Running STO gets two for Daniels but AJ hits the springboard forearm for two.

This has been very back and forth which makes sense given their history. They strike it out and AJ hits a Pele to send Daniels flying. The backflip into the reverse DDT is blocked and Daniels tries a moonsault (not the BME) which gets knees. AJ tries a springboard something and falls, letting Daniels grab the pin at 7:20.

Rating: B-. The match was good but the ending was designed to look like a botch and Daniels stole the pin. That’s perfectly fine if it leads to Daniels turning which he needs to do badly. It came off like he won on a fluke, which is he celebrates as a legit win will be perfect. It kind of cut the match off out of nowhere, but that’s what needed to happen. This was pretty good overall and the psychology was on.

Post match Daniels won’t shake his hand and is all happy that he finally won. It’s about time he turned.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Sting

Hogan is guest enforcer on the outside. Sting has blue on his singlet tonight. They speed things up to start and Sting controls, sending Angle to the floor for a breather. Back in Kurt takes over and grabs a sleeper which doesn’t last long as Sting gets a belly to back. Angle snaps off a German for two but Sting grabs the Death Drop for the same.

Kurt grabs the ankle lock but Sting is able to escape. Angle gets all ticked off but charges into a big boot. There’s the Scorpion with Kurt tapping and Hogan calls out the troops, distracting the referee. Gunner runs down with a chair but the referee takes it from him. Hogan uses the distraction to pop Sting in the chest with a chair and that does nothing. Sting Hulks Up but gets caught in an Angle Slam onto the chair for the pin at 6:35.

Rating: C. This was their usual stuff played at fast forward. The problem of the time not being there for the main event comes into play again as this main evented a PPV a few weeks ago and now there isn’t even seven minutes to give to them. Not anything of note here but I guess it advances Sting vs. Hogan a bit.

Post match Sting gets up again but all of Immortal comes out for the beatdown. Anderson runs out with a bat and cleans house.

Overall Rating: C-. It really is amazing how the crowd being fresh can make a difference. They felt alive tonight and the look of the arena was much better. It felt more professional rather than second rate like they usually do in Orlando. Not a horrible show but the wrestling left a bit to be desired, namely due to nothing having a chance to get going.

For regular TV matches that’s fine but for stuff like the main event which is a big match, it needs time to develop which it didn’t get, due to having to cram everything into the show and have segments that just didn’t need to be there, like Hogan being mad at Hardy and the Knockouts coming out for the Knockout Law thing. This wasn’t as bad as some of their shows but it still wasn’t anything excellent.

Results

Gunner b. Rob Van Dam – Running knee to the head

Brian Kendrick/Jesse Sorensen b. Kid Kash/Austin Aries – Sorensen pinned Kash with a sunset flip

Mickie James b. Winter – High kick

Christopher Daniels b. AJ Styles – Pin after Styles slipped off the top rope

Kurt Angle b. Sting – Angle Slam onto a chair

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Monday Night Raw – February 4, 2002: Chris Jericho Should Know Better

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 4, 2002
Location: Thomas and Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 9,643
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another one of those series that I started but haven’t touched in six months. The good thing for me is I’m up to February and I’ve already done three weeks of March, meaning I can make up a lot of ground in a hurry. This is the first of four shows in a row I’ll be doing as we’re just passed the Rumble and heading towards No Way Out. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Vince threatening to bring in the NWO if Ric Flair doesn’t sell his half of the company. Flair agreed but Vince waned to sign the documents in the ring. Austin came out as well, convincing Flair to not sell and rip up the contract.

Flair says he’s been having second thoughts but he stands by his decision. However, if Vince brings in the NWO there will be huge problems.

Theme song.

Tonight it’s Rock/Austin vs. Jericho/Undertaker. Now that’s a main event.

Here’s HHH with something to say. He wants a piece of Kurt Angle after Angle attacked him last week on Smackdown. HHH has waited four days and isn’t waiting any longer so get out here RIGHT NOW. Instead he gets Booker T who says the two of them have something in common: intensity. The difference though is that Booker is a winner but HHH is a whiner. Here’s a referee and we have an opening match.

Booker T vs. HHH

HHH sends him into the steps and there’s the bell as we get inside. The Game pounds him in the head but stops to yell at the referee, allowing Booker to superkick him down. A high elbow to the jaw but the Bookend is countered into a spinebuster. There’s the facebuster but Booker escapes the Pedigree. The ax kick misses and the second Pedigree attempt connects, only to have Angle come in for the fast DQ.

The Angle Slam puts HHH down and makes his liver shake, according to JR. How does he know what a shaky liver looks like?

Post break and HHH is looking for Angle. I think we have a running theme tonight. Apparently Kurt was heading for Vince’s office.

We go to the Divas locker room where cameras aren’t a problem. Billy and Chuck come in which freaks the girls out. They show off their new poster and challenge Stacy and Torrie to a pose down on Smackdown.

HHH is still looking for Angle but finds cops guarding Vince’s doors. Angle comes to the door but the cops hold him back. Vince has made Angle vs. HHH for HHH’s Mania title shot at No Way Out. Isn’t Raw Flair’s show?

Rob Van Dam vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Ray pounds him into the corner but Rob jumps over him, setting up a leg trip and Rolling Thunder. Stacy Keibler, the Dudleyz’ manager, distracts the referee but the Dudleys can’t hit What’s Up. D-Von is ejected but Bubba hits the Bubba Bomb to put RVD down. There’s no one to send in the tables though so Bubba has to get two off a neckbreaker instead. A suplex puts Rob down and Bubba drops a bunch of elbows for two. The middle rope backsplash misses (of course) and the Five Star is good for the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see at all here as there was zero doubt as to who was winning. Bubba as a singles guy was an idea that didn’t work at all in 2002 but they pushed him for months anyway. The problem here was he never became anything other that Bubba Ray as a singles guy, as opposed to an entirely new character in Bully Ray. It’s the same reason why Bret Hart’s singles push took awhile to get off the ground: he took time to come into his own as a character.

Post match Goldust pops up on screen to sing When You Wish Upon a Star. He wants RVD for some reason so he sneaks in through the crowd and hits Shattered Dreams.

Stephanie has a very creepy smile on her face while HHH rants about Angle. She has a surprise for him later. If the internet hat been a bigger thing back then, that face would have been a meme for years.

Undertaker is ticked off but Jericho says it’s all cool tonight.

Tag Titles: Billy and Chuck vs. Spike Dudley/Tazz vs. Acolytes

If there has ever been a more forgettable tag team title reign than Spike and Tazz, I can’t come up with it, hence why it’s forgettable. This is under elimination rules. Chuck pounds on Tazz to start but walks into a hard clothesline. Tazz suplexes Chuck down and brings in Spike for a top rope double stomp, only to have Chuck easily break up the Dudley Dog. Off to Billy for some stomping and a big flapjack for two.

Chuck chokes Spike on the ropes and Billy rams him into the barricade a few times for good measure. Spike finally grabs a suplex to put Chuck down and it’s off to Farrooq vs. Billy. A lot of things break down with the APA hitting double spinebusters on Billy and Chuck and a double powerbomb on Chuck, only to have Billy hit a quick Fameasser to pin Farrooq. Spike comes in with a quick Dudley Dog on Billy to retain the titles.

Rating: D+. Well ok then. The idea of pushing the champions makes perfect sense, but having two eliminations in a span of twenty seconds doesn’t make for an interesting ending. That’s the problem here: it was such a fast match that it didn’t have time to go anywhere and it took away whatever they were shooting for.

Here’s Vince for his weekly complaining. He talks about Flair not doing the right thing last week when he wouldn’t sell out to McMahon. After looking at a clip from Smackdown, Vince wants Flair out here RIGHT NOW. Vince demands an explanation but calls Flair a liar before Ric can say anything. See, Flair wasn’t going to sell out because of the NWO but because Flair was selfish.

Flair has to be the Nature Boy and loves the power that comes with being an owner. Ric says that’s not it, so Vince accuses Austin of getting into Flair’s head. Again that’s not it, so Vince finally lets Flair explain. Naturally it’s all because of the fans, sending Vince over the edge. The fans have no idea what’s good for business, so the NWO is coming to take care of Vince’s problems. We get a shot of Hogan, Hall and Nash with Vince saying there will be no way out when they arrive. If there was a point to this segment, it went over my head.

Arn Anderson and the Stooges talk about how bad the NWO is. Anderson thinks Flair made a mistake on Smackdown.

Intercontinental Title: Rikishi vs. William Regal

Regal is defending and has to undergo an intense check for brass knuckles. Rikishi takes over with a quick superkick and a clothesline but Regal comes back with the unnamed knee trembler. Regal pounds away in the corner as the fans tell him he sucks. The champion easily takes the big guy down into a crossface (not the Crippler Crossface but just a face grab), only to have Rikishi power out and send Regal into the corner.

Not that it matters as Regal easily takes over again with a half nelson of all things. Rikishi fights up and sits on Regal’s chest but misses the Banzai Drop. Regal loads up the brass knuckles but Edge comes in for no apparent reason to spear Regal down for the DQ, retaining Regal’s title.

Rating: D. Much like the tag title match, this didn’t have time to go anywhere and was just a way to fill in time until we got to the stuff at the end. Rikishi was reaching the weird point of veteran who commanded respect without ever really doing anything to earn it. Regal was perfect in this role as he waited on a challenger to take the title from him.

Referees break up Regal and Edge but Regal gets a Stinkface.

DDP, the new European Champion, is at WWF New York.

Rock wants to talk about the Undertaker instead of the NWO, but first we pause for some chanting from the fans. Last week on Smackdown Undertaker cost Rock the Undisputed Title so Rock wants Undertaker at No Way Out. Rock isn’t sure why Undertaker jumped him last week, but maybe it’s because Rock mentioned Maven eliminating Undertaker from the Rumble, or maybe because Rock made Coach do the Charleston.

See, Rock is the People’s Champion, but before he gets ready for his tag match, it’s time for some Viva Rock Vegas. Actually no, as Undertaker wants Rock to walk away so Rock does just that. Coach isn’t sure what to do but Rock comes back a second later and takes the mic from him. Time for some singing, but this time it’s just Viva Las Vegas with Las swapped out for Rock. Not exactly funny but the fans liked it.

Here’s Stephanie for her big announcement. If doing more Raw 2002 reviews means Stephanie in short dresses and knee high boots then it’s all Raw 2002 all the time. She immediately asks HHH to come out here but HHH looks cautions. The big idea: renew their wedding vows next week.

HHH: “That is the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard. What is wrong with the McMahons? Why does everything have to be on live TV?” That’s a REALLY good question actually. Stephanie says it’s because the fans doubt her and think she’s a failure. HHH wisely says no and goes off on her, but Stephanie is PREGNANT, so HHH gives in. You can see the swerve coming from here and the fans in the crowd think this is nonsense. Since this is a Stephanie segment, it took ten minutes to get through about 3 minutes of talking.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jazz

Trish is defending. HHH and Stephanie are leaving and HHH insists on carrying all the bags. Trish fires off some kicks to start but misses a top rope cross body to give Jazz control. Jazz shrugs off some shots in the corner and slams Trish down. A legdrop gets two and Jazz fires off more right hands to drop Stratus. Off to a half crab and then an STF but Trish crawls (nearly falling out of her top in the process) to the ropes. Trish makes her comeback with forearms but the Stratusfaction is easily countered into a suplex. A fisherman’s DDT is enough to give Jazz the title, exciting no one at all.

Rating: D. This was a squash for Jazz which is fine, but as I mentioned NO ONE CARES ABOUT JAZZ. She was supposed to be some big deal but WWF never realized that no one remembered her from ECW because she never did anything of note in ECW. Nothing match, like the rest of them tonight.

Steve Austin/The Rock vs. Undertaker/Chris Jericho

Austin is challenging Jericho for the title at the PPV if that wasn’t clear. Some fan tries to jump the railing to go after Jericho, earning his ejection from the building. It’s a brawl on the floor to start with the obvious pairings until Austin takes Jericho into the ring for some chopping. The snap spinebuster gets two on Jericho and a clothesline gets the same. Off to Rock who throws Jericho to the floor before telling Undertaker to just bring it. Jericho slips back in and jumps Rock to give Undertaker control.

Rock comes right back with a clothesline to the big man and it’s back to Austin for right hands. The Thesz Press and middle finger elbow are good for two as the fans are awake for the first time all night. Austin runs the ropes again but charges into a big boot, allowing for the tag to the world champion. They trade chops in the corner but Jericho grabs a sleeper to slow things down a bit. Austin suplexes his way to freedom but Taker gets in a cheap shot and throws Austin to the floor.

Taker chokes on Austin with a rope but Rock makes the save unlike some stupid partners. Back in and Jericho clotheslines Steve down before wrapping his arm around the post. Austin tries to come back but charges into the post, sending him back to the floor. Undertaker rams him into the announce table as JR is talking about Oklahoma on a Saturday night. Austin comes back with a Boston crab on Jericho but Undertaker makes the save and puts on a chinlock. Did no one else notice Austin’s arm being sent into the post TWICE?

Austin fights up and they clothesline each other down, meaning even more laying around. Seriously you’re ten minutes into a tag match and they’re already this tired? The hot tag brings in Rock with DDTs all around and a spinebuster into the Sharpshooter on Jericho. Undertaker makes the save and everything breaks down with Jericho hooking the Walls on Rock. Austin breaks it up with a Stunner but Taker pulls the referee out to the floor. There’s the Rock Bottom but there’s still no referee, allowing Taker to blast Rock with a pipe, giving Jericho the pin.

Rating: D+. Again, how could they be that spent to use (VERY sloppy) rest holds in a match that didn’t even run fourteen minutes total? Also, WHERE WAS THE ARM WORK? I can understand that from Biker Taker who was just worthless, but Jericho is better than that and always has been. The match was your usual main event tag with a screwy finish.

Overall Rating: D. When Stephanie McMahon doing her manipulative stuff is the most entertaining part of your show, you’ve got a problem. Angle disappeared after the first fifteen minutes and it seems that his story with HHH has as well. They’ll still have the match at No Way Out, but if you think he’s anything more than a stand-in for Stephanie, you have no idea how WWE works. Dull show here and odds are it’s not getting any better for a long time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:




Thought of the Day: One Of A Kind

In something that won’t be said either before or again, this is going to be about a Dirty White Boy, Bismark, North Dakota and Big E. Langston.Back in the mid 1990s, the WWF had a stupid idea for a lot of one note characters, such as a wrestling monk, a rock guitarist, a magician (I think that one had potential but that’s for another time), cowboys, a garbageman and a tag team called Well Dunne.  All of these were really basic characters with only the cowboys (Smoking Gunns) going anywhere.  In addition to all these guys, there was one in particular I want to focus on: T.L. Hopper, as played by Tony Anthony (who wrestled as Dirty White Boy in SMW).

T.L. Hopper was a wrestling plumber.  End of gimmick.  Seriously, that’s it.  He was a wrestling plumber and nothing more.  We didn’t know whether to cheer him, boo him, or anything about him other than his job.  Why was he a wrestler?  Why not stay a plumber?  Was he the WWF plumber?  Was it a side job?  Why are we thinking of all these questions?  In short, there was nothing to this character and it didn’t shock anyone when he was gone in less than a year.

At the end of the day there was one major issue above all others with Hopper: there was nothing special about him.  Open your phone book and see how many plumbers you find in the yellow pages.  There are probably dozens if you live in a decent sized city.  In other words, there’s nothing special about a plumber.  This one happens to wrestle and that’s the end of the differences between him and any other plumber you can name.

Flash forward to about 2011.  Down in Florida Championship Wrestling, a power lifter turned wrestler joined the WWE developmental system.  His name was Big E. Langston and all we knew about him was that he was strong.  He needed a nickname so he was christened Florida’s Strongest Man.  Uh…..ok?

That’s kind of impressive but is he stronger than everyone in Oregon?  On the street I live on?  Can he out lift everyone in Bismark, North, Dakota?  Tell you what: I’ll go to Oregon and if the strongest man there sucks, I’ll come buy a ticket to see Langston, providing there isn’t a flight to Bismark later in the day.  It also didn’t help that there was a guy on the main WWE roster known as the World’s Strongest Man.  It really makes Langston look like a low rent imitation, so why would I want to pay for someone who might be one of the strongest men in the country, let alone the rest of the world?

The lesson here should be obvious: make the gimmick something you can’t find elsewhere.  Look at Kurt Angle when he debuted.  The emphasis was on the fact that he was the ONLY Olympic Gold Medalist in WWF History, as in no one else has ever done this.  Randy Orton is the APEX Predator, as in the top of the food chain.  Most titles are the WORLD Heavyweight Championship, not the Louisiana and Missouri Champion.

In short, make a gimmick something that will draw a crowd, not something that makes people look at what better options there are.  Make them say “I want to see THAT!”




On This Day: August 20, 2001 – Monday Night Raw: Raven Does Bette Midler

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 13, 2001
Location: ARCO Arena, Sacramento, California
Attendance: 9,182
Commentators: Paul Heyman, Jim Ross

We’re past Summerslam now and the Alliance war continues. Rock got the WCW Title last night and Austin cheated to keep the WWF Title. Other than that not a lot happened last night. Still though, they had a well hyped show last night and the show worked very well. It was probably the high point of the Alliance Era PPVs. Tonight we start on the road to Unforgiven. Let’s get to it.

Austin is greeted by a big celebration from the Alliance. This is Steve Austin Appreciation Night. He says he’ll lead by example and has more of last night for him if need be.

Stacy Keibler/Torrie Wilson/Ivory vs. Jacqueline/Molly Holly/Lita

The Alliance beat up Lita last night so there’s your story. Ivory and Molly start with a nice little gymnastics routine. Off to Jackie vs. Torrie and guess who wins that one. Jackie takes down both blondes and here’s Lita to a big reaction. She beats on Ivory for a bit and then brings Jackie back in. A tornado DDT gets a quick pin on Ivory. It’s as out of nowhere as it sounds.

Rating: D. What exactly are you looking for here? The match was nothing and a few of the girls looked good. In short, it was a Divas match and no one cared. These feuds went nowhere until Trish FINALLY started getting better and feuded with Lita to make anyone care in the slightest about the Divas.

The Dudleys are in the back with Test when Stephanie comes in. She says they’ve had issues in the past but now they’re both more mature. Last night she didn’t get what she wants so tonight she wants Test to take Jericho out for good. Test calls Stephanie a bad name and says he’ll do it.

Here’s Rock, the new WCW Champion. Booker had talked about taking Rock to school but last night, Booker got taken to People’s Elbow 101, Advanced Rock Bottoms and Getting Whipped All Over The Building 407. Rock requests the appearance of Booker and it’s midget time. He ends every sentence with sucka and is convinced to do a Spinarooni. Now it’s a Moonwalk, the Running Man and the Deion Sanders dance.

Rock wants to know if Booker wants to keep dancing until Lance Storm comes out. Hijinks will end tonight and there’s a WCW Title match with Storm challenging later. Rock doesn’t know who Storm is. Storm superkicks the midget which isn’t quite as good as Shawn superkicking the girl a few years back. Somehow this took over twelve minutes.

We recap the APA chasing Shane off during the WCW Title match last night, resulting in Bradshaw taking Shane down with the Clothesline.

APA/Scotty 2 Hotty/Big Show/Spike Dudley/Billy Gunn vs. Dudley Boys/Chuck Palumbo/Sean O’Haire/Hugh Morrus/Tommy Dreamer

There are twelve in this if you don’t feel like counting. Farrooq vs. Palumbo to start things off. Quickly off to Sean and Scotty. I wouldn’t expect any long segments in this match. Morrus and Dreamer try to double team Hotty but get taken down by a double clothesline. Here’s Gunn who gets caught in What’s Up but the APA saves. Bradshaw pounds on Tommy and Spike adds a double stomp off the top.

Dreamer catches Spike in a half crab but it’s off to Bubba for some power. A HUGH double flapjack gets two for D-Von. Morrus comes in and walks into a Dudley Dog. Show comes in and everything breaks down. It’s finishers all around for the next minute or so, ending with Show killing Dreamer with the chokeslam for the win.

Rating: C-. This was a big mess but the parade of finishers is always fun to see. It makes no sense as why wouldn’t they use those all the time, but it’s always cool to see. This was really the only way to get most of the people on the roster onto the shows, especially before the Brand Split, which really was a good thing.

Hurricane gives his testimonial about why he loves Steve Austin, which turns into why Green Lantern is awesome. Austin is his new favorite though.

Chris Jericho vs. Test

Jericho is all banged up from the Rhyno match last night. He says nothing of note pre match. Jericho hits a quick forearm to start but walks into a full nelson slam for no cover. Test hammers away but a powerbomb is countered and Jericho takes him down with a spinwheel kick. A neckbreaker sets up the bulldog but Stephanie breaks up the Lionsault. The big boot misses and Jericho knocks him to the floor. Chris goes after Stephanie but here’s Rhyno. Jericho sends him into the steps but walks into the big boot for the pin. Short match and not much to it.

Last night Christian accidentally speared Edge but Edge won the IC Title anyway. Christian comes up to Edge and talks about how they won the King of the Ring and the IC Title last night. Edge raises his glasses at this but lets Christian take the trophy for his match tonight.

Austin inspires Stasiak so much that Stasiak can’t say it right so we get well over 40 takes of it.

Mick Foley is at WWF New York and is inspired by Angle almost winning but getting screwed last night.

WCW Title: Lance Storm vs. The Rock

Storm jumps the champ to start and Rock is in some trouble. Rock comes back with a clothesline and punches away. Storm hits that perfect superkick of his to knock Rock to the floor. Back in Rock charges into an elbow and Storm gets two off a clothesline. Storm punches him down but walks into a spinebuster to put both guys down. The champ gets two off a DDT. Rock Bottom ends this clean.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t bad I guess but what was the point? Rock was never in any real jeopardy (as expected) but there wasn’t even a hurdle for him to get over. This went nowhere though and seemed kind of stupid to do to a guy that lost the IC Title last night. Couldn’t they swap in like Hugh Morrus or someone like that here?

Little Booker comes in for a People’s Elbow and two Spinaroonis.

We recap last Thursday where Saturn beat Moppy and then had Moppy stolen. He put her face on a milk carton. I think Raven wound up doing it.

European Title: Christian vs. Matt Hardy

Christian makes fun of the Sacramento Kings before the match because he’s turning heel soon. Lita still has a bad leg. Christian jumps the champ to start which doesn’t work that well. Matt is sent to the floor but is back in quickly for more punching. Matt hits a clothesline and escapes the Unprettier. Twist is countered and Christian gets a rollup with his feet on the ropes for two. Reverse DDT gets two. Unprettier is countered into the Twist for Matt to retain. This was nothing again.

Package of stills from Austin vs. Angle last night.

Booker arrives over an hour into the show and gets laughed at.

Page thinks Sara wants to sleep with him. He’s not worried about Undertaker.

Taz says Austin has toughened him up.

Booker demands a rematch with Rock tonight. Since Shane owns WCW, couldn’t he make the title match anytime he wanted to? Regal makes midget jokes and explains the midget to Booker. Tajiri laughs so tonight it’s Booker vs. Tajiri.

Booker T vs. Tajiri

Booker is in street clothes. Booker welcomes Tajiri to the fire so Tajiri fires (see what I did there?) off kicks. Tajiri gets caught by a beating and we go to the floor. Booker beats on him for about two minutes until the referee disqualifies him. Yeah keep making those young and popular guys look like jobbers WWF. Keep it up and see what’s going to happen with it.

Taker makes sure Sara wants to fight DDP tonight.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Sara

Sara is allowed a free slap. Page shoves her down so Undertaker pulls him to the floor, chokeslams him on the concrete, the bell rings and Sara gets the pin in four seconds. And AGAIN, a WCW guy is made to look like a joke, meaning there’s no point in caring about him at all. Stuff like this is probably one of the biggest reasons the Invasion failed (along with the McMahons and it lasting five months).

Here’s the whole Alliance for Steve Austin Appreciation Night. Some of them have gifts for Austin. Heyman is the master of ceremonies here. Hurricane says that Green Lantern has been his hero but now Austin is his hero. Didn’t he say this earlier? He’s going to wear an Austin shirt instead of the Green Lantern one. Kanyon gives him a Who Better Than Austin shirt. Debra gives him a plate of the famous Debra Cookies. Heyman saves him from having to eat one by airing a video package of Austin’s time in the Alliance. All five weeks of it.

Stephanie gets in and calls the rest of the Alliance in as well. And now, a song. Yes a song. It’s the high point of the camp value of this, minus the good aspect of it. Lillian is brought in to sing, and I couldn’t possibly make this up, Wind Beneath Our Ring. It’s a version of a Bette Middler song and the words are on the screen with a bouncing Austin head. Stephanie makes her start again for a lack of heart and soul.

Now Stephanie is going to lead it. JR: “Oh God not that.” It makes Vickie Guerrero sound like Shakira if you’re interested. Chavo sings some of it for some reason as does Terri. Even Raven sings as does Justin Credible. I’m in awe of this. Not because it’s good or anything, but because THIS IS AIRING ON MONDAY NIGHT RAW.

Austin thanks everyone for it and yells at Tazz for wearing a Tazz shirt. FINALLY Angle arrives in the milk truck to spray everyone down/ Stasiak takes a header into the truck which gets the only laugh of the show out of me. JR says the Billion Dollar Princess has just become the Dairy Queen to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. There’s nothing redeeming about this show at all. Nothing. The longest match is the twelve man tag at just over five minutes. Everything else is a squash with the Alliance guys being decimated AGAIN. Then to top it off, they sang a Bette Middler song until a guy came out and sprayed everyone down with milk. Even TNA would say that was stupid. Horrible HORRIBLE show and one of the worst I can remember in a long time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:




Raw 10th Anniversary Special: Shame On WWE For This

Raw 10th Anniversary
Date: January 14, 2003
Location: The World, New York City, New York
Hosts: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is a very different kind of show in that there’s nothing original on it. It’s basically an awards show/retrospective of the first ten years of Monday Night Raw with people coming back and talking about memories. This show is remembered very badly for a variety of reasons we’ll get into here. I’m not sure how well the reviewing here can go but it’s worth a shot. Let’s get to it.

Since there’s nothing to rate, this is going to be me recapping everything and giving my take on it as it happens. You’ll get the idea.

The opening video is a mashup of all the old intros to WWF programing in the last ten years. Nice touch.

Highlight package of the first year of Raw which I really need to get to someday. This transitions into a video on the entire ten years with a big focus on the Attitude Era. Yeah if you’re looking for ANYTHING from 1994-1996, you’re in the wrong place. The video is set to Bawitaba by Kid Rock to really hammer in the annoyance factor.

JR and King welcome us to the show. We’re going to get a top ten moments in Raw history. Oh this is going to be GOOD.

Our first award is Diva of the Decade presented by Shawn Michaels. Before we get to the award we get through the storyline stuff with Shawn talking about being the #1 entrance in the Rumble. Shawn makes fat jokes about Bertha Faye (killed herself about a year and a half before this) and Bull Nakano who most fans likely don’t remember.

The nominees are Sable (should win), Sunny (not a bad choice), Trish Stratus (Fine in modern times, absurd in 2003), Lita (not even the best Diva in 2003) and Chyna (not happening but there’s a minor case for her). The winner: Trish Stratus. You know, the chick who hasn’t even been around for three years at this point, hasn’t even wrestled for two years, and hasn’t been any good for a year.

Sable closed out Raw in 1998 on multiple occasions but Trish wins, presumably because she’s here. Her dress is barely there which helps a bit, but this is going to be a mess for the next two hours. Moolah is in the audience and looks asleep. Trish also thanks Fit Finlay who did some great things with the Divas. He hadn’t done them yet but I don’t think anyone cares about stuff like common sense tonight.

The #10 moment is This Is Your Life Rock. That should be WAY higher, as in like top three at worst.

Shane McMahon presents the Don’t Try This At Home award, which is for the biggest bump. The crowd keeps cutting him off until we get to the nominees: Big Show chokeslamming Undertaker through the ring, Jeff Hardy in TLC 3 (no specific bump), the Dudleyz powerbombing Mae Young off the stage through a table, (that was awesome but not memorable) or Kurt Angle missing the moonsault off the cage to Benoit.

Angle wins, in another bad decision. It’s not as bad as the previous one but the winner should have been something like the Outlaws shoving Foley and Funk off the stage in the dumpster. It’s memorable, it was big and it set up future stuff. Big Show was on his way up to the podium when Angle’s name was announced. Angle, Haas and Benjamin celebrate and hold up an American flag but get played off by the music before Kurt gets too far into a speech about high school.

Stacy introduces the list of bad gimmicks from over the years, which is too long to list. Think of almost any stupid gimmick from the 1990s and it’s here. Here’s the thing though: a lot of them (IRS for example) were fine gimmicks that lasted for YEARS but now they’re stupid? WWF didn’t mind putting them on PPV and asking us to pay for them, but now they’re silly? Yeah stuff like T.L. Hopper was dumb, but Doink for example was a great idea.

Moment #9 is Austin crushing Rock’s Lincoln with a monster truck. Stacy calls it a moment that changed wrestling forever. I haven’t thought of this moment in years so I think she’s wrong on that one.

Booker T presents the Tell Me I Didn’t Just See That award which speaks for itself. The nominees are the Three Faces of Foley in a sitdown interview at the same time (cool but Roddy Piper basically did the same thing back in the mid 80s with a mirror), Bischoff and Vince hugging (that’s fine), Bart Gunn wins the Brawl For All (the idea of that winning an award is hilarious), Kane being able to control fire (that’s kind of amusing when you take a step back and think about what he’s doing) and Austin riding a Zamboni to the ring to attack Vince.

Foley wins….and isn’t here because he left in 2001. So not only do they pick the wrong one (Vince vs. Bischoff should have won given the nominees) but they pick a guy who isn’t even there? Goldust comes up to present the award with Booker, because a guy painted gold and wearing a smoking jacket and making jokes isn’t a ridiculous gimmick at all but an Indian like Tatanka is. Bischoff, actually here tonight, calls Foley overrated and talks about the amount of time he has to turn Raw around without getting fired.

Ric Flair presents the role call of dead wrestlers: Andre the Giant (never appeared on Raw and died less than two weeks after it debuted), Joey Marella (referee and Gorilla Monsoon’s adopted son), Brian Pillman, Rick Rude, Owen Hart, Gorilla Monsoon (they picked a shot of him near death when he looked nothing like he did in his glory days), Yokozuna, British Bulldog….and that’s it. I guess we had to protect Shawn by not pointing out that the woman he made a joke about died. There are others who were left out, presumably because the company didn’t care enough about them.

Jericho presents the Gimme The Mic award in a weird looking leather suit. “I’m wearing it on a tip from Hollywood fashion plate Classy Freddie Blassie.” Ok points for a good reference. The nominees are Austin, DX, Angle (a stretch but ok), Foley, Vince (better than people give him credit for) and Rock. Jericho isn’t nominated? Oh wait he’s a heel right now so we can’t like him, even though Angle was nomianted.

Rock wins, FINALLY getting an award right. Naturally Rock is on a movie set so he has to do this via satellite, as a surprise. The crowd however is too New York and too drunk to be impressed, so they boo him out of the building. Rock says FINALLY but he’s not even in New York. The fans clearly aren’t pleased at all with this. Rock talks about Jericho debuting when Rock was in the ring so Jericho can turn the microphone sideways among other things.

It wasn’t Jericho who won that award but rather a guy with a bunch of nicknames. Rock tells Jericho to get off the stage as a light Rocky sucks chant begins. He wants to talk to Kurt Angle and spends nearly a minute talking about a match with Angle at some point in the past. He calls Team Angle Team Suck Squad.

Now it’s time for Stephanie to be called a “Make a wish and blow out the candles NOT THE POOL BOY” sl**. Rock makes fun of Goldust and Booker T for reviewing Scorpion King before calling Goldie a sick freak. The fans are completely turning on Rock now and the boring chants are getting louder and louder. He’ll be back soon and says a lot of catchphrases to FINALLY end this. Rock bombed here as he went on too long and the satellite thing was just stupid.

Moment #8 is Shane on Nitro, ending the Monday Night Wars once and for all. Again, this should have been higher.

After Fink brings us back in from commercial (he had to appear somewhere), here are Cole and Tazz to present the Shut Up and Kiss Me award. This is the best on screen duo with nominees of Mark Henry and Mae Young (you knew this was coming), Chyna and Eddie Guerrero (decent pick), Lita and Matt Hardy (better pick. Their first kiss was an awesome moment), Mr. McMahon and William Regal for Regal joining the Club (you knew some of Vince’s, ahem, interesting choices would be on here) and HHH and Stephanie. If you don’t know who is winning this one you don’t get WWE.

They don’t like each other too much right now but Stephanie accuses Rock of wanting to win this award with her. Stephanie recaps her on screen history with HHH and it really is funny how much happened with her. HHH wants to have a kiss for old times’ sake. He tells her to close her eyes so he can take down his pants and bend over. Stephanie slaps it and HHH walks out without pulling them up. This was what it was.

Moment #7 is the debut of Mr. Socko and Austin disguised as the doctor to beat up Vince. The greatness of the bed pan shot to the head is canceled out by Vince being anally raped with an IV.

Gene Okerlund and Pat Patterson (should have been Heenan) present Network Difficulties for controversial programming. The nominees are Mae Young giving birth to a hand (didn’t we just cover this five minutes ago?), Stone Cold Stunning Santa, 3 Minute Warning attacking the Hot Lesbians (actually pushing the envelope a bit) and Pillman’s Got A Gun.

Mae and Mark win in an even dumber pick than Trish. This was a HUGE deal which almost got Raw thrown off the air but we’ll go with the stupid comedy moment instead. It’s mainly the winner because Austin isn’t here at the moment.

Moment #6 is the Nation parody. It’s funny but this should have been last on the list. Also every moment so far has been from the Attitude Era.

Here’s Brock in a suit to present Superstar of the Decade. It’s REALLY weird to see Brock as a smiling face. The nominees are Mick Foley (with the debut of Socko shown for the second time), The Rock (BOOED), Bret Hart (BIG pop for that and a we want Bret chant), HHH, Austin and Undertaker (the only guy around for the whole decade). Austin wins as you would expect and as he likely should have. Vince says Austin isn’t here and laughs at fans who thought he would be. Dang I really want to watch this show now. I might get insulted for cheering for someone. HHH and Flair walk out because HHH didn’t win.

Moment #5 is Austin vs. Tyson. There’s a case for this being #1 as it basically launched them back into the Monday Night Wars and was a big reason why they started winning a few months later.

Time for Match of the Decade. Oh this should be fun. The nominees are TLC IV (I wouldn’t remember that if it wasn’t for the nomination earlier), HHH vs. Cactus Jack in a street fight (a forgotten classic that belongs on this list), Undertaker vs. Jeff Hardy in the ladder match (Just no. Period.) and Austin beating Kane to win back the world title (this is idiotic. Austin beat Undertaker for the title in 1999 and it drew nearly 11 million people, a record which still stands today I believe).

TLC wins and I’m not going to bother talking about the acceptance speech. Instead, here’s a real list of nominees for best matches in Raw’s first ten years off the top of my head:

Jannetty vs. Michaels for the Intercontinental Title

HHH vs. Cactus Jack

Owen Hart vs. British Bulldog for the first European Title

Austin/HHH vs. Benoit/Jericho for the tag titles

Austin vs. Angle for the WWF Title in 2001

Any of those are better than the rest of the nominees combined. TLC was NOTHING but most of the people in it are there so it wins an award. That sums up the entire problem with this show.

Moment #4 is DX invading WCW. I’ve got nothing here. This was awesome.

Moment #3 is Rock challenging Hogan for Wrestlemania 18. This still gives me chills but it has no business being this high on the list.

Moment #2 is Raw Is Owen. Leave it to WWE for turning something like someone’s death into a way to pat themselves on the back. Pay no attention to Jeff Jarrett having to perform in a comedy match five minutes after watching his friend plummet to his death.

Moment #1 is the Austin beer bath of the Corporation. Yeah, seriously. Allegedly these were selected by fans but WWE fans are smarter than this. Edge presents it and brings the rest of the roster to the stage for a bow to end the show.

Overall Rating: S. For shame on them. This is RIDICULOUS with the top ten moments list being either out of order, stupid, or nothing of note. The awards made my head hurt and I knew what was coming. This show wasn’t a celebration of Raw. It was a cheap ratings ploy to talk about the Attitude Era and have zero effort put into it at all. Look at the specials today and you’ll see a ton of nostalgia packages and highlight videos which talk about various things you haven’t thought of in years and can smile at later. This was horrible and insulting to my intelligence as a Raw fan rather than anything fun. Shame on WWE for this.

Here’s the Rumble if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/01/16/royal-rumble-count-up-2013-redo-2003-best-of-both-worlds-and-a-boring-rumble/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:




On This Day: August 16, 2009 – Hard Justice 2009: Two Takes On Being A Legend

Hard Justice 2009
Date: August 16, 2009
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,100
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

We continue our backwards trip through TNA as I keep trying to get closer and closer to being done with their PPVs. This is one of three remaining 2009 shows I have so it’s as good a place as any. Anyway the Mafia is still around and the main event (haha) is Angle vs. Sting vs. Morgan for the title. There really isn’t much else as the card is rather lackluster. Then again this isn’t one of TNA’s biggest PPVs. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is all about Morgan for the most part, and how he’s perfect or something. His DNA was sent into space which is rather cool. They don’t talk about anything else here so you can tell it’s a weak card.

Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley vs. Amazing Red vs. Daniels vs. Jay Lethal vs. Consequence Creed vs. Suicide vs. DAngelo Dinero

The Guns don’t have their signature music yet. This is the steel asylum, as in the big red cage, and you win by escape. Naturally there are WAY too many people in it so you won’t be able to call a thing in it. Winner gets an X Title shot at No Surrender. This is Pope’s debut. There’s a big hole at the top and you have to climb up to escape, which is hard because the roof curves up.

The fans are behind Pope it seems. Suicide makes a run at it but Creed pulls him down. The Guns beat up Daniels because that’s what they do. The camera has to keep cutting away from the match and various spots because they have to go to other spots. Lethal Consequences takes Red down and the Guns get a dropkick Conchairto to the head of Pope. This is really a collection of spots and not a match.

Daniels takes Lethal off the top and tries a climb, only to be stopped by Dinero. And never mind as Daniels punches the cage and probably breaks his hand. We’re at the point now where most people lay around and wait on two people to do something before getting in there again. The Guns and Lethal Consequences have a mini match with the Guns getting the better of it.

Daniels and Pope keep slugging it out on the top and there’s your Tower of Doom spot. We get a complex four person submission hold with the tag teams again. Shelley hits Sliced Bread #2 on Daniels and here comes Red. He takes down just about everyone that was still on their feet/knees and goes up, only for Shelley to make the stop in the corner.

Seven people are standing in one corner or are on the rope in that corner. The eighth comes up because he’s (Sabin) very stupid. Gee, with everyone in one corner, I’m sure there’s nothing he could do in the other five corners right? Everyone gets taken down as Daniels and Red go up. Daniels hooks in a leg and is kind of hanging around. Suicide almost makes it but Pope stops him, only to be stuck in the corner. Daniels finally wakes up and climbs out to win it.

Rating: C+. Really hard to call here as the whole thing was a mess. There’s no flow to it but to be fair it’s supposed to be a big mess I think. You cut this down to four people and you have a FAR better match. That being said at 16 minutes it’s still way too long, but at the same time they were trying and hit the limit with what this match can do under these circumstances I think.

Daniels says the X-Division is awesome. He’ll get the X Title back and AJ needs to come back also.

We run down the card for the ADHD fans out there.

Morgan says he’s in the main event to win, not help Kurt.

We recap the WAY too long Dr. Stevie vs. Abyss feud. Stevie put out a $50,000 bounty on Abyss and it’s about maiming him. The maimer in this case: Jethro Holiday, more commonly known as Trevor Murdoch. Yes, really.

Abyss vs. Jethro Holiday

THIS warranted PPV times. Yes, really. Oh and it’s no DQ/weapons are legal/whatever. Holiday, ever the generic southern/country boy, chops away and gets absolutely nowhere. Abyss claps away like an idiot as we head to the floor. For the second time tonight someone punches something made of metal and Holiday takes over again. Middle rope elbow misses back in as this is already boring.

Abyss finally brings in a chair as Stevie slides in a metal stick or something to Holiday. It’s a baton I think. Abyss fights back with his big man offense like a big boot and backdrop. Let’s clap some more because that’s HARDCORE BABY! Side slam gets two. Holiday gets a chair to Abyss’ balls and a baton shot to the head gets two. More brawling ensues and a chokeslam gets two for Abyss. Holiday gets the Texas standard move in the form of a bulldog for two. Black Hole Slam ends this a second later.

Rating: D. This wasn’t horrible, but it’s Trevor Murdoch vs. Abyss on PPV. Why in the world did they think this was deserving of about 11 minutes total? Boring match for the most part and just kind of there, which is fine if it’s ok but it’s not in this case. Holiday would do nothing for the most part and would be gone in a few months.

Holiday takes down Stevie post match, I guess turning face.

Angle says he’ll keep the title. He might weigh 180lbs here.

Rob Terry vs. Hernandez

Terry stole Hernandez’s briefcase and Supermex wants it back. Hernandez says the Impact Zone is his house and it’s like Terry stole the case from his family. This is going to be a fight, not a match. The other Brits try to interfere, Hernandez runs them off, bell, shoulderblock, pin. Literally, 9 seconds of the actual match.

Beer Money says they’ll win the Japanese tag titles, because we NEED Japanese tag titles right?

World Elite is awesome apparently and Beer Money is standing in the way of their dominance despite them not really dominating anyone.

IWGP Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. British Invasion

It’s more Japanese tag titles because they’re Japanese so every non-WWE fan loves them right? The Brits have the belts here. Young jumps in on commentary here. The Brits are Magnus and Williams here. Storm and Magnus start us off as the fans chant wanker. Storm makes both Brits look like idiots to start and Roode launches Storm over the top to the floor onto both Brits.

Williams comes in and takes over on Roode, including the always awesome jumping back elbow. Everything breaks down again with Beer Money in control again. This is one of those rather boring matches where not a lot is going on here. We get one of the stupid face in crotch spots from the Brits. The champions take over with some basic leg work on Storm as this is rather boring.

The fans chant for the Cowboy so at least they have the right football team. See how far I have to go for jokes here? Do you see what I do for you people here? Williams drops a knee and Magnus gets two off of it. Weak tag to Roode who hits the Blockbuster for two. There’s the time waster by the challengers and a double team Rock Bottom gets two on Magnus. Young comes in for a distraction and Williams rolls up Roode for the pin to retain.

Rating: D-. The match itself wasn’t really that awful but it was incredibly boring. Not an interesting match in the slightest and that’s saying a lot when it comes to a team as talented as Beer Money. This went nowhere for the most part and the whole thing was just a boring waste of time. Not bad, but the lack of anything interesting killed it deader than Immortal’s current credibility.

Deaner and ODB aren’t funny.

Knockout Title: Velvet Sky/Angelina Love vs. Cody Deaner/ODB

Ok so Angelina is champion here and it’s a tag match with a guy fighting for the women’s title. Just go with it. Madison is with the blondes here. Angelina and ODB start us off here This is a rather basic match here and Angelina looks far better with fewer tattoos on her arm. Velvet comes in and do you really think it matters what goes on in this? Deaner comes in and spanks Velvet a bit.

Angelina comes in and gets a quick two on ODB. The heels take over as you would expect them to here. Velvet is rather red from the spanking. I didn’t need the image of Deaner doing that. Seated dropkick gets two for Angelina. Deaner comes back in and kisses both blondes. Make that all three of them as Madison takes some tongue apparently. The girls finally get it together and beat up Cody, only for him to avoid some hairspray from Madison and roll up Velvet for the pin and the title for ODB. Deaner would claim he was the real champion, because that’s how TNA rolls.

Rating: D. Yeah this was a mess. Velvet is hot as is Angelina, but ODB and Deaner were the focus here and I don’t see the need to have Deaner involved here at all. I think this led to Madison being tossed out of the team but that could have been done in a singles match also. Weak match and a stupid angle.

We waste more time as Velvet and Angelina leave Madison in the ring.

Taz talks for Joe, saying that Hernandez didn’t beat Joe because Joe beat Joe. Joe is going to win the X Title tonight and take it to the Mafia.

XDivision Title: Homicide vs. Samoa Joe

Joe has his face tattoo still here. The fans chant 187. Joe takes him down with strikes quickly but Homicide uses his technical abilities to take him to the floor. Homicide is considered a ring master but I’ve never really seen it. He’s not bad but I don’t see the genius aspect to him. After a pep talk from Joe it’s time to go back to work for Joe. This is a rather fast paced match which doesn’t really surprise me.

Rana is blocked to send Homicide to the floor and a suicide dive sends him flying. Back in and Joe drops a knee so he can crank on the neck a bit. Powerslam gets two. Homicide tries to fight back but Joe is just too fat. Powerbomb is turned into an STF and into a crossface and into the Rings of Saturn, all by Joe. Homicide finally gets his foot on the ropes to break it up but that was kind of impressive. I think. Actually it wasn’t but it fits the submission aspect of Joe’s character.

Joe hammers away as the fans chant 187 again. I know Impact Zone fans are considered a little slow but they can’t even count to ten properly? Homicide comes back with some clotheslines and gets Joe down. Top rope dropkick sends Joe to the floor and there’s a tope con hilo to take Joe down even more.

Homicide and Taz nearly get into it but that goes nowhere. Neckbreaker gets two back in the ring for the champion. Diamond Cutter gets two. Gringo Killer (Vertebreaker) is blocked and Joe can’t quite get the Clutch. Ok so never mind yes he can and Homicide taps almost immediately. Some guy from the toughest place in the world.

Rating: B-. Pretty good here as both guys worked rather well out there. They probably fought a few dozen times in the indies so it’s pretty clear they know each other as well as possible. Better Homicide match than I remember him having more often than not so that’s a nice surprise. Not bad here at all.

Kurt goes to talk to Matt Morgan and doesn’t even knock. Angle tries to make a deal and Morgan agrees that it’s either him or Angle leaving with the title tonight.

We recap the Mafia vs. Team 3D. The Mafia more or less stole the titles from Beer Money. Team 3D complained about getting screwed out of everything (Bubba: “If I knew getting screwed felt this bad, I would have stayed a virgin.”) and therefore wanted a match. Don’t ask me how all of the tag titles worked at this time. With the Japanese belts out there it’s more confusing than an Egyptian restaurant menu.

Tag Titles: Scott Steiner/Booker T vs. Team 3D

Falls count anywhere here and they have two referees which is rather smart for once. Sharmell looks good here. Apparently it’s No DQ also, therefore making it a hardcore match. In a Russo company? I’M SHOCKED!!! Big staredown to start and the brawl begins. The fans want tables within ten seconds. Booker gets double teamed and the Mafia complains a lot.

Booker and Steiner yell at Hebner, the outside referee, and it’s time to head into the crowd. We go split screen and it’s one of those annoying ones that has about 30% of the screen devoted to the match and the rest is a big freaking TNA logo. I’ve never gotten why they do that. Is that for people that have bought all the PPV offerings for that night and flip through the channels to decide what to watch?

The races pair off and it’s a big brawl as you would expect from these guys. There’s the required ECW chant. To be fair though, three of these guys were in the original ECW so it’s hard to complain. Steiner gets two on Bubba off of I think a weapon shot. They’ve more or less dropped the split screen at this point, making it kind of hard to follow. I do however really like the falls count anywhere aspect as it means you don’t have to wait for them to get back to the ring for any drama.

Steiner dives off a balcony in the crowd onto Ray for two. Gee it was nice of Ray to stand there for a good ten seconds to wait on him to come crashing down on him like that. Ray and Steiner are at ringside now as are D-Von and Booker. I guess they can’t bare to be apart that long. Steiner gets two on Ray. The pairings haven’t switched for the entire match that I can remember.

The white guys get in the ring and a Steiner Line gets two. The fans still want tables. What’s Up to Steiner which probably doesn’t hurt that much due to the amount of steroids in him. It’s table time now and the fans are in a word really freaking happy with that decision. Steiner gets laid on one but here’s Booker for the save. The Mafia stands around FOREVER while D-Von is sitting on the ropes after being crotched.

The delay allows the Dudleys to set up the Doomsday Device through the table but Booker saves again, moving the table but the move hits like regular. Team 3D in control still here but it’s a Book End for Bubba through the table for two as he actually kicks out instead of having it saved. The Mafia in control now as things kind of grind to a halt. Scratch that as the Dudleys take over again. Back and forth match throughout so far.

Heel miscommunication lets D-Von get a belly to back on Steiner for two. Powerbomb out of the corner gets the same result with the same people. Axe kick misses D-Von and the 3D from 3D gets the pin on Booker, but at the same time Steiner rolls up Bubba and yep it’s a double pin. I was afraid of this. The threes went down at just about the same time which is rather helpful. We actually go to the video and the replay we see shows that those threes hit at the exact same time. The Mafia retain the belts and the fans aren’t exactly thrilled. WEAK finish as the video shows it was identical or at least way too close to call.

Rating: C-. Pretty good match but the ending really hurts it a lot. The fans chant BS during the highlight package which is very true. I mean dude, when EVER do they go to a replay to decide something in wrestling? Not a great brawl or anything but they did a lot of stuff right here. The ending crippled it though and there were a lot of dead spots in there that really hurt it.

Foley isn’t sure if he is ready for Nash or not. He did however get an extra $623 posing for pictures. Not really apparently but that’s the point of the feud. Nash wants the title because it brings him more money. Foley wants the title because wrestlers want to hold titles. I remember really wanting to see this match as the pairing is pretty interesting. Foley puts JB in charge of finding a barbed wire bat.

Recap of Nash vs. Foley which is what I just went over.

Legends Title: Kevin Nash vs. Mick Foley

Foley is champion and the Legends Title would evolve into the TV Title. I can’t believe it but the video package actually made me want to watch this again. Oh and Foley won the title from Nash in a tag match. Never been a fan of those but at least Foley pinned Nash for it. Foley waves at Nash just after the bell which is funny for some reason. Nash’s right hand is taped heavier than usual.

Surprisingly technical stuff to start as they lock up a few times. Naturally it turns into more of a brawl but that’s what these two likely should do. Foley hits a running knee lift but a double arm DDT can’t hit. There’s your first hard bump of the match as Foley gets kicked into the guardrail. They brawl outside and Nash takes over. The fans chant “over here” which is kind of a cool chant to me for some odd reason.

Chair shot by Nash hits post but Foley’s hits Big Sexy’s back. Foley tries the elbow off the apron but Nash gets the chair in to block it. Foley’s eye is busted now. Oh man that’s a bad one too. Nash drops some F Bombs and wisely fires jabs in at the eye. There’s blood on the camera which is kind of a cool visual. That’s a sick blood flow and in a very dangerous area too.

Half of Foley’s face is bloody and half isn’t. That’s a creepy/awesome look indeed. Foley says bring it on and actually fires back. A forearm puts Nash down and we get the Mankind rocking back and forth. Foley pulls his hair out as he’s all fired up now. That blood is flowing everywhere. BANG BANG as you can’t even see his eye anymore.

Nash’s forehead is busted a bit now too. Make that a lot now. That’s a GREAT looking cut. Ref is bumped and it’s barbed wire bat time. Tracy Brooks of all people comes out and the distraction is enough for Nash to hit a big boot and something we can’t see that wasn’t the powerbomb for the title.

Rating: C+. I liked it. This was a surprisingly good match here as these two actually had some chemistry. Fun match as their characters and philosophies were perfect opposites and the story made the match for the most part. The ending is fine for the most part and while it was kind of boring from an in ring match, it was still good I though. At least I liked it. Good thing I’m writing this too.

Post match Foley takes the bat to the head and Abyss comes out for the save with a bat of his own.

Sting isn’t worried about Kurt and Matt working together. He’ll never lose hope in the war against the Mafia. Does Sting do anything but go to war with heel factions?

We recap the triple threat. Morgan wanted in the Mafia so they used him as a lackey and then screwed him over. Morgan won a trilogy of matches with AJ to get the spot here. Angle implied that Morgan should help him keep the title and Morgan said no way.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Sting vs. Matt Morgan

To waste more time, everyone gets the camera shot of them coming to the ring and then a video about them. Big match intros waste another few minutes. I guess wrestling doesn’t matter yet. Angle is SKINNY here, maybe weighing 170. Morgan and Angle work together to start but Angle gets caught quickly by Sting, getting us down to one on one. Everyone on the floor now and the brawl is on.

Sting works over Morgan, sending him into the railing a few times. Morgan’s wife is here apparently. The Mafia takes over again and the beating continues. Morgan is all like I told you I’d help. Sting again fights them off and takes over for like the third time in this match. Both guys get splashes and Morgan is sent to the floor. Suplex gets two on Kurt who wakes up and drills Sting to take over again.

We talk about AJ not being here and how he has a major announcement on Impact which was to be his retirement until Sting stepped in to save the day. Back in the ring the Angle Slam is countered into a Scorpion attempt but Morgan makes the save. Slam gets two. Ankle lock is reversed and it’s Morgan vs. Sting again. There are the corner elbows and Morgan just drops him instead of hitting a side slam which gets two.

Fallaway slam hits as Kurt really shouldn’t be down this long due to a reversed ankle lock. Angle pulls the top rope down to send Morgan to the floor and the not-exactly-giant isn’t happy. Morgan says the deal is over and hits the Carbon Footprint to take down Kurt on the floor. Well at least he has a reason to be down now. Kurt claims a shoulder injury now. There’s no one to count the pin that Morgan has on Sting now and Matt isn’t pleased.

Scorpion Death Drop in the ring and now Hebner is right there. Does that make Morgan Bret Hart some how? Now Kurt is holding his neck. Make up your crazy mind already dude. Morgan takes Sting’s head off with the kick and Hebner is slow getting there again, only for Kurt to pull him out. “You screwed Matt!” Kurt brings in a chair and takes both guys down with chair shots, good for the pin on Morgan to retain.

Rating: C. Just a triple threat here as not a lot was really accomplished here. Morgan gets screwed over again and Kurt is still champion. Sting of course will keep fighting and that’s about it. The match was just ok and nothing special in the slightest. Not a horrible match or anything but nothing that you couldn’t see on any other show.

Overall Rating: D. There’s some decent stuff here and there but overall this just fell flat. It was ALL about the Mafia here and that’s not exactly the most enthralling formula for a PPV. This was certainly a B level PPV and it came off as one: nothing significant seems to have happened, despite both midcard titles changing hands. Nothing to see here as nothing was a particularly great match or even very good. Pretty weak show but not horrid or anything.

 

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Fully Loaded 2000: Reach For The Brass Ring Benoit

Note that this is VERY old and the quality isn’t what it would be today.  It should be good for a laugh if nothing else.

 

Fully Loaded 2000
Date: July 23, 2000
Location: Reunion Arena, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 16,504
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

This one is by X’s request so there’s your justification. The company is more or less just waiting for WCW to go under at this point as it’s not even close or funny anymore. Vince, being the nice guy that he is, cranked up the heat just to be himself. Austin is still out here, but he’s getting closer to a return. The good thing about that is you get the following matches: Angle vs. Taker, HHH vs. Jericho and Benoit vs. Rock.

Taker has just returned as the American Bad Ass and is still figuring out the character. Other than that this is really a transitional show as a lot of the Attitude Era guys are being slowly phased out while the new guys are slowly coming in. I vaguely remember this show so this is going to be a lot more of a fresh viewing than a lot of other shows. Let’s do it.

The theme of the intro is that everyone is gambling here and with a single roll of the dice everything can change. The dice are fully loaded though. So in other words, no matter how well you throw the dice or perform, the house has the advantage and you can’t win? That’s a great thing to point out.

Trish Stratus/Test/Albert vs. Hardys/Lita

Trish is a total rookie here and is just there because of her looks. This is something that they need to do with the Divas more often: put them as a manager for a long time before getting them into the ring on their own. That’s the thing: anymore, no Diva is given any kind of chance to get going or get any experience and all of a sudden they’re thrown into the spotlight and they fail.

Here, Trish can get some ring time but not enough to expose her weaknesses. That’s very smart and is a big reason why she’s one of the best ever. That being said, Trish looks incredible as she’s more or less wearing a pink swimsuit. Her abs could rival Orton’s. Lita has injured ribs here because we can’t have Lita vs. Trish in a straight match yet.

I’ve always liked Test and Albert for some reason. See what’s going on here though? We have two tag teams that have been having a moderate feud lately but the titles aren’t involved. See what having a tag division can do for you? You can have matches that don’t have to be for the belts and it can give you a decent match.

Also remember there’s no brand split yet so Raw and Smackdown had the same stories going on. Jeff gets a NICE pop as he comes in. Jeff is ridiculously fast out there. The Hardys, The Dudleys and Edge and Christian were the perfect answer to the cruiserweights in WCW. Their matches were completely insane and had very little story to them but they didn’t need one.

They were so awesome that we could overlook that and it worked every time. Now why couldn’t the cruiserweights get over like that too? Trish and her amazing ass are in for a bit but runs for her life from Lita. There we go again: Trish getting heel heat and a small amount of experience while not actually doing anything. That’s very smart.

In a cool spot, the faces hit a double suplex on Trish and Test then all three take their tops off. That’s nice indeed. I never used to be able to tell the Hardys apart. I finally got it right though: one is an overrated hack that keeps missing ring time and botches half the moves he attempts and the other is named Jeff.

Trish put Lita through a table on Raw which apparently nearly ended her career. So in six days she got injured, had time to find a doctor that decided that her career was in jeopardy, heal enough to be able to get back in shape for this match, and get doctor’s clearance to not only travel but be in the ring for this match as her career apparently isn’t in jeopardy anymore? Don’t you just love wrestling and the stupid lines of commentary that come with it?

Jeff gets destroyed for a good while until Test misses an awesome looking elbow and takes a SWEET looking mule kick to the chin so Matt can get tagged. After a big mess of a brawl, Lita gets in and hits a NICE tornado DDT from the top on Test. She follows that up with a huge dive to the floor onto Albert and then another NICE hurricanrana onto Test.

She was so ridiculously awesome around this time that it’s insane. After some cheating though, Test hits that diving powerbomb that I always marked out for on Lita to stop her cold. I think I liked Lita getting in there against the men more than I did Chyna. Chyna was trying to wrestle like a man and it got boring to me.

Lita got in there and wrestled a lucha style which is far more exciting than Chyna being able to do a handful of solid moves and a bunch of botched moves and be a witch about everything and then bragging about how awesome she was. Trish comes in to the biggest pop of the match. See what huge implants can do for you?

Lita kicks out of the powerbomb from Test though which is awesome. Trish bends over in from of the Hardys and you can easily see them checking her out. I love that. The men run in and the Hardys win that and they hit the floor where Jeff “chokes” Albert with his foot. When I say chokes I mean puts his foot about an inch away from Albert’s head so it’s not anywhere near his throat.

Lita hits the moonsault for the pin. Post match, Albert shows that the choking really didn’t work as he nails Lita (lucky bastard. I guess half the locker room fits that description though) and the heels dominate and Trish whips Lita with a belt.

Rating: B. This was a great opener as it got the crowd into the show and didn’t really do anything of important note. In other words, it was the best possible choice for an opening match. The faces should have won here and did. Trish and Lita would obviously become the biggest women’s rivalry of all time and they would have a bunch of great matches. Here though it was about looks which is fine with me as both of them had some great ones.

Edge comes up to Foley in the back and says that Christian has food poisoning. Foley doesn’t buy it.

Taker is here and chases Angle around the building on the bike. This is cooler than it sounds.

Tazz vs. Al Snow

So Tazz is a heel now for no apparent reason which is pointless as he’s still getting solid face pops. He was supposed to be getting the Benoit push, meaning he was supposed to get the title match tonight I suppose, but due to Hardcore Holly’s freaking idiocy, Tazz got hurt. Since then he’s been going around beating on random faces to prove his toughness. I guess he wanted to prove he was Tough Enough. Snow got choked out on Raw to set this up so there you are.

They say it’s a bicep injury here but I’m not sure on that one. Snow has always thrown a decent superkick. The crowd couldn’t care less about this match. That might be because there’s no point to it at all. Snow hits a moonsault that gets two as the boring chant starts up. It’s not a good sign when a moonsault gets a boring chant.

Snow grabs Head which goes nowhere as Tazz takes over again. Ross plugs the triple main event since there’s nothing going on in the ring. Tazz finally gets the Tazmission for the quick submission to complete this filler match.

Rating: D. What was the point here? It’s five minutes long and could have easily been done on Smackdown to add on to another match later on. This was stupid and not any good either so yeah. MMA fans might like this more than wrestling fans actually as both guys were using some decent judo stuff.

Christian is still sick.

We go to HHH and Stephanie where she keeps getting flowers and HHH doesn’t know who is sending them. The card says it’s true it’s true. Stephanie denies knowing anything.

European Title: Perry Saturn vs. Eddie Guerrero

Chyna is with Eddie here and looks amazing. Eddie gets a great pop here being the home state guy. Chyna is mad at Eddie for Eddie jumping in the way of Saturn to protect her. Hot but witchy. You can’t win them all. Terri who is with Saturn is terrified of Chyna. She should be as Chyna half killed her when she was Marlena.

Chyna nails Saturn and goes after Terri and we have a four way fight. 45 seconds into the match we get the graphic saying it’s for the European Title. Thanks for that one. Chyna keeps beating up Saturn for some reason. Eddie is wearing a shirt this whole time too which is just odd. Eddie hits a GREAT hurricanrana for two.

Saturn really was solid in the ring. It’s a shame he was completely nuts. Saturn is bleeding slightly from the top of his head. It’s a bit annoying having the graphics for the triple header flashing on the screen the whole time. This is a very fun match that’s reminiscent of a cruiserweight match. No matter what you try to build up or whatever, good wrestling is going to win in the end, always.

After some great high flying stuff, Saturn is knocked to the floor where Chyna beats on him some more. He actually punches her and clotheslines her through a table. Yeah that looked weirder than it sounded. With her down, Terri comes back and hits a low blow to allow Saturn to hit a top rope elbow for the pin and the title.

Rating: B+. I know that’s a high grade but this was a very fun match. They more or less just went out there and did what they wanted and it came out great. These two could work as well as anyone could and the matches showed that. It does make me wonder though: why did Eddie have to keep being in those horrible angles instead of in a big story like he was capable of being? Maybe not the world title, but at least something of note. Either way, this was very fun and I liked it a lot.

Edge and Christian are in the back and say they faked food poisoning. Foley comes in and they say they can’t defend the titles because Christian is sick. This works for about three seconds and involves a bucket. You figure the rest out. They get the APA tonight.

We go to Taker and Cole. Taker says Angle is going to need a doctor to remove his foot from Angle’s ass. We see a monitor next to them where Angle is on Taker’s motorcycle. Taker chases him off and we go back to the arena.

Tag Titles: Edge and Christian vs. APA

I miss Edge and Christian’s old entrance where the camera flies all over the place and looks for them and they’re in the entry way like normal wrestlers. Edge insults Dallas sports teams which makes me hate them quite a bit. They insult the Kennedy assassination before setting up for flash photography but the APA and their awesome music cuts them off. Bradshaw threatens to put his boot in their ears. Ok then.

He actually uses the term cheap heat. That came out of nowhere. He defends Texas by saying how many titles they’ve won. That just makes him sound like a geek. I didn’t know FTS was more commonly known as Bradshaw. Farroq gets a great step shot in on Christian right off the bat.

This starts off as little more than a squash as Bradshaw just freaking murders Christian. Edge and Christian finally get some offense in as they get the advantage on Bradshaw. I like how they use such generic offense to stay in a match for as long as they can until they can hit a much bigger move. That’s a nice little way to do something. It lasts for all of a minute though as the APA dominates again.

We hear for about the 12th time that Bradshaw is from Texas. Seriously, WHAT IS SO GREAT ABOUT TEXAS??? With the Acolytes hitting their finishers, Edge goes to the floor and grabs a belt. He gets the referee’s attention and nails Farrooq with it for the DQ. I kind of like that as it plays them holding the belts even longer. The same time though, it makes them look ridiculously weak and since they were known to keep stealing wins like that, it’s rather stupid also.

Either way it was ok I guess. Post match the champions are beaten down even more which for some reason means we should talk about the Rock? That makes no sense but at least they saved it for after the match ended, unlike WCW who likely wouldn’t have acknowledged the match going on at all.

Rating: C. It was really short and pointless but it was never dull. That’s the best thing here: they kept moving the entire time. That’s always a plus as it kept things interesting and made you want to keep watching. I really don’t like the whole cheating to keep the belts thing as it makes them look quite weak, but that’s fine I guess as it fits them to the letter. However at just over five minutes they didn’t have enough time to get anything going so it’s about as average as you can get overall.

Big Bossman is at WWF New York and asks a fan for his ID.

HHH is ticked off about Angle and the flowers. Stephanie gets tired of HHH freaking and says go get Kurt.

Angle is running from Taker and hits him in the knee with a wrench. Notice that he’s limping BEFORE he gets him but later in the match, he doesn’t limp. That’s Taker’s biggest flaw: his selling was screwed up beyond any and all belief at times.

IC Title: Rikishi vs. Val Venis

We’re in a cage here. Fink makes sure to point that out despite the BIG FREAKING CAGE around the ring. Apparently Tazz cost Rikishi the title a few weeks ago for reasons unexplained. Also Venis beat up Scotty, which apparently justifies this being in a cage.

Trish is Val’s manager here and is dressed in her more traditional attire here, meaning she still looks great. Apparently Rikishi gave Trish a stink face to start this. Lawler says can you imagine someone putting their big ass in her face? There’s a bit of wishful sounding in his voice there. Lawler isn’t sure if this is no holds barred. Seriously? He follows this up by asking what happened to that long hair Val had? Ross: “well King I would assume he got it cut.” I love Ross at times. They’re rare but they exist.

Rikishi, ever the Rhodes Scholar, tries to climb over the top instead of going through the door like anyone with a freaking mind. Why do faces have to have so much stupid pride like that? Val takes over with some bad shots to the cage. To be fair though he’s having to deal with something that has its own gravitational force.

He hits a low blow to block a stink face and then hits a weird looking move that I think was supposed to be a bulldog but turned into more or less a forearm to the back of the head. I think it was a semi botch by one of them but I’m not sure. Rikishi of course does his inside out bump.

Val, also an idiot, goes up the cage as well instead of through the door. My goodness how hard is it to just walk through the freaking thing? They fight on the top rope which Val wins, but with Rikishi down in the position for Val’s finisher, does he go for it? Of course not. Why should he when he can walk the ropes and hit an elbow instead? Val almost gets out but is caught by the ass that blocked out the sun.

They mess up badly though as Rikishi’s head is hurt by ramming it into the cage. He’s a Samoan so therefore his head can’t be hurt. Come on now people don’t you know your stereotypes yet? Val is bleeding and thankfully we don’t go to black and white to hide that. A Banzai Drop gets two as Val gets his foot on the ropes. Great, so in a match with no rules and where anything goes, the ropes are still allowed to break things up. That makes sense.

Thanks to Trish again ignoring all racial stereotypes and slamming the door on Rikishi’s head, the Money Shot gets two. Lita bounces down to the ring and whips Trish with the belt and rips her top off. The beating goes to the back as somehow this is less pointless than modern wrestling. We then get the spot of the night as Rikishi goes up top, and I mean to the top of the cage and dives off, completely crushing Val.

Do Samoans have a fetish for jumping off cages or something? This looked completely amazing and on the replay they mess up worse than I’ve ever seen as the camera totally misses Rikishi. I mean you see no wrestlers and only cage the whole shot. It’s rather funny actually. Since the referee is down from an earlier bump though, there’s no one to count. As Rikishi goes for the door, Tazz comes down and nails him with a camera so Val can pin him.

What the heck man? What’s the point in a huge bump like that unless you change the title with it? That’s just stupid. Oh yeah it’s a Rikishi match so it’s not supposed to make sense. How this guy would become top heel in about 3 months baffles me to no end.

Rating: B-. The match was fine, but seriously, what was the point of the huge spot if Val keeps the title? I know that’s what happened in MSG back in the 80s, but that was legendary whereas this was more or less forgotten a few weeks later. I don’t get it at all. The match was your run of the mill cage match otherwise though as I still hate pins in one of these. It’s not that hard to find a way for one of the guys to get out is it? That bump was INSANE though.

Oh apparently Taker had been attacked earlier on. Ross say that his knee is the size of a basketball. I give up. Taker is looking for Angle again. Apparently he’s walking off the injury.

HHH finds the guy delivering the flowers and takes him to the locker room of the guy sending them. It’s Jericho, who jumps HHH in the locker room and beats him up. That’s very creative actually. The stealing of a catchphrase never is used and it works really well when you think about it.

Shane comes out and looks like he wants to fight. He’s Benoit’s manager at the time by the way. The crowd is all over him and he actually says the word pussy. He calls out Rock who answers and cuts some funny stuff. We get Benoit on the monitor and he breaks all of Rock’s glasses and rips up his clothes.

We recap Angle and Taker where Angle cost Taker and Kane the tag titles by helping Edge and Christian. Angle then kept messing up with stupid lines and etc., including hitting Angle in the head with a sledgehammer. He even covered Taker’s bike with milk. Boy what is wrong with you?

Kurt Angle vs. Undertaker

Angle is still the good American boy here while Taker has just debuted as the bad ass, so the ending here is pretty academic. He’s still got the wrench from earlier. Angle pulls an Eric Young and is afraid of the pyro. Taker comes out before his music plays and jumps Angle and we’re in the crowd. Sadly enough Taker isn’t selling the knee in the slightest. I always liked Taker like this as he’s just freaking awesome with the beatings and the look he has going on.

We’re in the ring now as the bell goes off. Taker pulls him up from a pin which I like here. He pulls up again and drops a clear F bomb to the referee that Ross apologizes for. Angle FINALLY gets some offense in after about three minutes or so with another wrench shot to the knee. Maybe that’ll wake up Taker so he’ll sell the stupid thing for a change.

We go to knee work for a good while now which makes sense for a bunch of reasons that I think are self explanatory. With Angle having a leg lock on Taker, Lawler makes my all time favorite dumb line: “When Taker is on the mat he’s the same height as Angle.”

Just to make this perfectly clear once and for all, NO HE ISN’T. I mean dang man how hard is it to understand this? They’re still the same freaking height. I’m laying in my bed at the moment and I’m about 5’11-6’0. When I stand up, I’ll still be 5’11-6’0. When I lay down again later, I’ll still be 5’11-6’0. The height advantage that Taker has will still be present when they’re on the ground because his legs will still be longer to reach. I’ve never hated a line more than that one because it’s so stupid.

From nowhere, Taker hits a chokeslam as the crowd is WAY into this. An awesome Last Ride ends this…after seven and a half minutes. Yeah, that’s how long this lasted for. What was the freaking point of that? They couldn’t take five minutes out of the show somewhere else to give to these guys? This felt like a TV match.

Rating: D+. The time here just killed this. Angle was in WAY over his head here and it was played out really well I though. The time thing took everything out of this though as it needed another 3-4 minutes to make it good. The crowd was into it the whole way though which gives it some solid bonus points though. One thing though: Taker, LEARN TO SELL A FREAKING KNEE INJURY. I mean he wasn’t even LIMPING when we started and wasn’t any more when the match ended.

I hate that as it makes things just seem stupid, and especially when this is supposed to be human Taker instead of unhurtable Taker remember? That’s just freaking stupid. Also seriously, Angle would become world champion in about 3 months and he just got his ass handed to him. What’s the point of that? Couldn’t they have pulled Snow vs. Tazz and used this instead?

We recap HHH vs. Jericho. At KOTR, Jericho had kissed Stephanie for no apparent reason. In an amusing bit, we get three separate instances of HHH telling Commissioner Foley that he wants Jericho’s ass. Well ok then. Anyway, Jericho then cost HHH the #1 contendership so HHH isn’t happy at all. He and DX (they’re still around???) beat him up with the hammer, and apparently that’s validation for the 2nd ever last man standing match.

We see Rock going to his locker room to see all his stuff ripped up. Why does he have about eight outfits for one show in Dallas?

HHH vs. Chris Jericho

If you’ve already forgotten the stipulation here, lay off the drugs and fast. They start off immediately and the crowd is still as hot as they were to start the show. See what a great opener and a great crowd can do for you? HHH picks up a piece of the table destroyed earlier and beats on Jericho with it as we’re on the floor 40 seconds into the match. Well at least they’re not wasting time getting to the violent part. Stephanie looks completely delicious here.

This is just a glorified brawl at the moment which is fine. That’s what a match like this is supposed to be like so it’s perfectly fine. HHH pulls the bandages off of Jericho’s ribs and works on the ribs. Why would you wear tape to the ring? It’s a bullseye there. If they weren’t taped, the opponent might work on the knee otherwise or something like that. Ross just sounds like he has latent homosexual feelings towards HHH.

I mean seriously, he’s always going off about him and I just keep thinking he’d love nothing more than to humble him and then get humbled by him. Stephanie beats on Jericho a bit as this is all HHH otherwise. The ribs are at least offering a bit of a story to the match. They’ve been on the floor for the majority of the match here. They mention that the mats are more or less pieces of carpet out there. Don’t tell Bill Watts they exist.

This protecting the wrestlers a bit is just freaking evil and can’t be allowed to ever happen again! HHH hooks an abdominal stretch that would have Monsoon rolling over in his grave. In other words, it’s about as traditional as you could possibly imagine. Jericho gets a shot in and the crowd EXPLODES. This is one of the best crowds I’ve seen in a long time.

Jericho makes a short comeback and goes for the Lionsault but HHH gets the knees up and then hits a DDT for about 8. Again being smart, HHH uses a sleeper. I usually hate that move but here it makes perfect sense to use it. That gets 9 or so and HHH is TICKED. He hits a Pedigree and lays on the top rope like Shawn used to do. After a 9 count that takes about a minute to do, Jericho is up AGAIN. HHH gets a chair and lands a few shots and goes for a Pedigree on it but a low blow saves Jericho. It was thunderous apparently. DANG.

HHH’s head more or less explodes with blood after a chair shot. I mean he’s bleeding BAD. Fans are completely into this too. Jericho cranks it up a bit here by going into his sequence of stuff and ending with the bulldog onto a chair. We’re back on the floor again with Jericho dominating. Just as I say that Jericho goes into the stairs. This is pretty freaking good. And never mind that as Jericho gets a counter.

This back and forth stuff is working quite a bit. Uh oh HHH is getting the announce table ready and they both get a shot with monitors so they’re both down. Both guys get up at nine and back in the ring Jericho hooks the Walls. HHH taps like crazy but it means nothing. Just like in the cage, why should ropes get a break when ropes mean nothing? Oh ok it doesn’t. That makes things a lot better.

Jericho pulls him back to the middle which means nothing really. Stephanie comes in and gets some Walls too which makes her top fly up which isn’t a bad thing at all. We’re on the floor again which is ok in a match like this as that’s the point. HHH swings the newly found hammer at Jericho but it hits the post instead. HHH takes a slingshot into the post which is always a cool bump.

They get on the table and HHH hits a jumping belly to back suplex where his back lands squarely on the edge of the table which means he would be hurt a lot worse, or at least I would think so. HHH gets up just in time to beat the count while Jericho is out. As Ross puts it, he was up at ten and down at eleven. Ok on another look, Jericho doesn’t hit anything but the floor on the last bump so that’s fine.

Rating: A. These two beat each other up something fierce out there. The key to it though, as always in a great match: I didn’t know who was going to win until the very end. The cut on HHH’s head was AWESOME though and the blood helped a lot.

These guys always had good chemistry together, but at some point in their careers, Jericho needs to beat HHH clean in a big match. There were plenty of times where Jericho almost had it, and that’s what made this work. It wasn’t a match where the ending was obvious because it wasn’t, an that’s what made this great.

We recap Benoit vs. Rock. Benoit and Shane had joined forces since both hated Rock for no apparent reason. More or less they played up Benoit being really great at hurting people. Yeah that’s about it.

WWF Title: Rock vs. Chris Benoit

If Rock gets disqualified, Benoit becomes champion. In a great touch, Benoit comes out with one of Rock’s torn shirts and Shane is wearing some of his broken glasses. I love that. Shane tries to jump Rock which fails completely.

They start fast of course as the announcers mention there’s not much left to destroy here which is true. Rock launches Benoit into Shane who goes flying. Rock almost gets a crossface on which he had done before.

There’s a different dynamic here as instead of the match before where there was no clear winner, it’s relatively clear here that Rock is going to win in the end, but at the same time there’s a different aspect to it as it’s not clear how Rock is going to beat Benoit. This is a very intense match as it’s a shame that Rock’s in ring ability was so overshadowed by the other aspects of his character.

He could always go in the ring though and this is proof of it. We’re so used to seeing him do nothing but brawl that it’s almost shocking to see him go with a technician like Benoit. Shane keeps interfering which doesn’t happen so much that it distracts from the rest of the match. That’s a great thing as it adds to the match just enough that it doesn’t distract at all. That’s very hard to do but it’s working here.

Benoit gets the crossface a few times but it doesn’t work obviously. Shane interferes again with a chair and whacks the referee. Rock gets the chair and drops it as the referee is turning over before locking in a crossface on Benoit, who gives up. The crowd pops huge for that and that ends the show.

OR DOES IT???

Fink announces that as a result of a disqualification, BENOIT IS THE NEW WORLD CHAMPION! He blasts Rock in the head with a chair as the smarks have officially dies and gone to heaven.

OR DO THEY???

Yeah here’s Foley to say that it doesn’t count. This actually made me roll my eyes despite knowing it was coming. What in the world is the point of having referees who allegedly have the final say if the Commissioner or whatever constantly overturns decisions and changes things? It’s just overkill and pointless. Of course the match restarts and after surviving the longest crossface in recorded history, Rock hits the Rock Bottom to win it and close the show.

Rating: A-. The stupid overbooking aside, this was great stuff. This right here is what WCW should have done with Benoit. It’s ok if you don’t put the world title on him for a long time, but dang it let him be in the main event! If this was WCW, Benoit would have been fighting in the cage match for a pointless midcard title or fighting Eddie to win the European Title to try to make him seem important while not really doing anything at all because that belt was worthless.

However, getting twenty plus minutes of these two works fine for me, especially in a minor PPV like this. It does a few things: Benoit gets to main event a PPV so he gets some big match experience, AND Rock gets a successful title defense over a guy he should beat.

Now tell me, why can’t they do more of this today? Granted this is being written the day before Sheamus vs. Cena in the tables match so maybe they are. I hope so. Anyway, this was very solid, bad ending aside. I get why Benoit didn’t get the belt here and I’m fine with that.

Overall Rating: B+. This was a really fun show. I don’t know if I’d call it great, but it’s certainly worth seeing. It’s a more laid back PPV in the vein of a good In Your House, which often times is what a PPV needs to be. When you have the drama and build to something like Mania or Summerslam, it’s good but it gives you a lot to live up to. Here, it’s Fully Loaded.

How much expectation do you have here? That helps a lot because if it sucks you’re not disappointed but if it’s good like this was, you get your money’s worth because you didn’t expect a good show. It’s saying a lot when Taker is the worst guy on the show, but that’s the case here. This show worked a lot and I really liked it. Check it out if you get the chance.




Aces and 8’s vs. Main Event Mafia Hardcore Justice Match Postpines

It’s off until the 22nd, which means it’ll be taped the same night.  Therefore, the Angle situation isn’t an issue, but let’s postpone it due to “circumstances beyond our control” and only let people know on Dixie’s Twitter account.  As of this writing (about 2:45 pm EST) there’s no mention of it on TNA’s website that I can find.

 

And people wonder why this company earns eye rolls from fans.