Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XX (Original): They Do Anniversaries Right

Wrestlemania 20
Date: March 14, 2004
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz
Star Spangled Banner: Harlem Boys Choir

This just feels right. Wrestlemania is supposed to be at MSG. This show is considered to be the show where the new generation took control as Cena debuted, Eddie was defending a title, and Benoit challenged for a title. Sadly, two of them are gone now so those plans have been completely derailed.

This show is the first of the modern HOF induction shows as well as having the first smaller arena show in four years. I’m split on that actually. The smaller shows are better in the sense that it’s more personalized and there simply isn’t a place better than MSG, but the stadiums show off the spectacle more. Really depends on what you like. Anyway, let’s get to it.

The Harlem Boys Choir sings America the Beautiful and we go into the opening video. This is definitely the biggest show of all time with major matches and us at Madison Square Garden. The main event is Benoit vs. Shawn vs. HHH which has the problem of Shawn. There is zero point to having him in there but he’s there so that HHH doesn’t have to job to Benoit clean. Whatever I guess.

To end the video we see Vince, Shane and Vince’s grandson, which I believe is the first time Vince’s grandchildren have appeared on WWE programming.

US Title: John Cena vs. Big Show

Cena is the rapper at this point and hasn’t really gotten established at all at this point. He had been around a little under two years at this point and had turned mega face. You could see that he had what it took back then but he was being paced along very well. Show is champion coming into this. He was more or less worthless (yeah a stretch I know) as champion here so the ending wasn’t really in doubt.

John does his represent thing before the match starts. Dang you could see the star just trying to break out in him. He does a quick rap about Show and says Show is a gorilla. Cena’s hand is taped up so maybe he’s hurt or something. This isn’t really funny or anything but it gets the crowd going which is the point. Granted it’s a New York crowd so it’s not like it takes much work overall.

The title literally looks like a toy on Show’s shoulder. This is serious Show who has been motivated/focused lately which means he’ll lose a big match soon. Cena tries to get around the power to start which doesn’t really work at all. He gets sent to the floor and needs to rethink his strategy. Show allegedly retired Hogan in this building. Which retirement was that?

A cross body off the top by Cena of course fails as it always has against Show. Cena gets the powerslam that he deserves for being an idiot like that. He hammers away which gets him nowhere other than clotheslined down with ease. They have the picture of the current match on the opposite side from the cameras which is a cool thing to see.

Show suplexes Cena and he goes flying which makes John look like a toy. I know you hear that a lot but it’s true here. Headbutt puts Cena down and Show stands on his back. Cena hammers away but gets kicked in the face to end that. Show adds that standing legdrop that I think is called the Showstopper depending on who you listen to for two. The fans chant for Cena.

Cena tries a sleeper which is broken up rather quickly. This has more or less been all Show. Cobra Clutch by Show and Cena is in trouble. Naturally he just lets it go to put it right back on. Cena fights back with right hands and takes the knee out to send Show’s face into the buckle. FU gets two and Cena isn’t sure what to do now. Cena grabs the chain he brought with him but throws it down to distract the referee. The knuckles he carried with him also winds up going upside Show’s head and Cena has his first title.

Rating: C-. Basic big man vs. little man match here but at the same time, not much going on with it at all. Show dominated and Cena hit like three moves to take over and win the thing. That being said, the fans were into Cena which is the whole point. Not bad but kind of generic overall.

Coach is in the back and runs into some random people that aren’t important before saying hi to Teddy Long. He goes into Bischoff’s office to find he and Johnny Spade. Spade had just gotten a name change from Johnny Blaze. A few weeks later he was Johnny Nitro, and a few years later he was John Morrison. Didn’t realize he’d been there that long. Coach is told to go find the Undertaker, who was redebuting for the 58th time tonight.

Evolution minus HHH is in the back and Orton says he’s going to become a hardcore legend. As a former OVW Hardcore Champion, he’s well on his way. He never did that, but he got close a month later at Backlash. If you haven’t seen that match, go do so immediately. Well worth the 15 minutes it takes up. Anyway we see a clip of Orton hurting Foley back in June as this was almost a year long storyline. Oh and he’s IC Champion. The idea is that Foley is scared of Orton but has a backbone now. Oh and Rock is with him for a handicap match. That always helps.

Raw Tag Titles: Rob Van Dam/Booker T vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. La Resistance vs. Dudley Boys

Wow. You can see the division dying as we speak. The Dudleyz would more or less be gone in four months, save for the One Night Stand main event. We then have the one decent tag team on the brand at the time, and then two generic guys packaged as a “team”. RVD and Booker are your odd combination tag team. This is one fall to a finish. The remix of RVD and Booker’s songs was really quite bad.

Dupree vs. Van Dam to start us off here. Booker comes in quickly and gets a superkick to Renee for two. Bubba is tagged in. Why would you tag out here if it’s one fall to a finish? The Dudleys are faces for this week. The fans already want tables. At least they’re patient as they waited a full minute before starting that chant here.

Ross thinks Booker is a young man. That’s rather amusing. Bubba tries to do the suck on this deal and gets kicked in the face for his efforts. This is more or less RVD/Booker vs. the Dudleys with two other teams in the background. Jindrak gets two on Booker. It’s Garrison Cade at this point too. Who thought that would be a good name? I mean dude, Garrison Cade? Really?

Dupree comes in and La Resistance takes over for a bit. It’s Dupree/Conway in this form of La Resistance as that team changed every few months. No real reason given for why these teams are in here but does it really matter? The fans chant for USA while Conway, the American, is in there. Conway gets an elbow for two, which JR says was opportunistic. How? Isn’t that like doing his job?

Conway uses a bow and arrow hold for awhile to kill some time. Spinebuster gets Booker out of trouble. Wow Van Dam was in a good amount of worthless tag teams. RVD comes in and cleans house. The Five Star is blocked as D-Von shoves him off the top. Everything breaks down and it’s Booker (illegal) vs. D-Von (also illegal). 3D is broken up by Cade and then an axe kick sets up the Five Star on Conway for the champions to retain.

Rating: D. Totally boring match here that should have been on Raw. The division if you want to call it that was completely dead by this point and nothing was going to save it. The titles needed to be unified back then but wouldn’t be until 2010. Weak match that had no need to be on Mania in the slightest.

In the basement, the Coach hears noises coming from behind a door and opens it to find Gene Okerlund trying to get dressed. He tries to explain why he’s there and Bobby Heenan stumbles out half dressed as well. Coach says it’s not what you think. There was a poker game according to Heenan. Moolah and Mae pop out and drag the guys back in where frightening sounds are heard. One of my all time favorite segments.

We recap Christian vs. Jericho which was a great storyline. This started with Jericho and Christian betting a Canadian Dollar that Jericho could sleep with Trish before Christian could sleep with Lita. Trish found out about the bet and got all ticked off. Jericho fell for Trish and Christian tried to get his head back on straight. This led to Christian vs. Trish with Christian hurting Trish. Tonight is the grudge match. This was a great buildup and the video has me wanting to see the match years later. That’s a really good sign.

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

 

I guess Lita was just dropped from this after awhile for reasons unknown. They lock up for a bit and then Jericho is like screw it and takes Christian down with right hands. Clothesline takes him down again. Christian sends him to the apron but gets backdropped to the floor. All Jericho in the opening few minutes and we get a big Y2J chant.

Jericho hits that springboard cross body to the floor and then sends Christian into the barricade. Back in and Christian’s sunset flip attempt is countered into the Walls. They’re not applied though and Christian is able to get a thumb to the eye and then dump Jericho to the floor. Christian chokes away and talks trash to Jericho at the same time. He’s multi-tasking I guess.

Knee to the ribs by Christian as the fans are surprisingly quiet here. They don’t seem bored though and are instantly back into it when Christian hits a chinlock. I guess they’re interested here. Christian pulls some of Jericho’s hair out which gets him two. Ah the old hair attack. Haven’t seen that in years. Back to the chinlock but Jericho tries for the Walls again and again they don’t work.

Christian chokes away but Jericho fights back. Off to a neck crank for a second but Jericho is taken down by the hair as he tries to escape. Hey here’s another chinlock. Walls are attempted again and again fails. Spinwheel kick gets two on Jericho. Jericho gets a forearm and a knee to the back as he’s starting a comeback. Running enziguri gets two.

Rollup by both guys gets two and Christian’s had a handful of ropes. Northern Lights Suplex by Jericho gets two. Lionsault attempt winds up eating knees but the Unprettier can’t hit either. Reverse tornado DDT out of the corner gets two for Christian. They’re moving a lot more out there now. Backbreaker by Christian and he goes up. Jericho is slammed off and Christian hits a cross body which is rolled through for two by Jericho.

Christian throws on a Texas Cloverleaf and Jericho is in trouble. This is the first time they’ve had a bit of a break in a good while. Jericho breaks that and tries the Walls for the fourth time which doesn’t work either. He finally gets them on the fifth try but on the floor. As Christian tries to get back in he gets caught in a double underhook suplex off the top for two.

And here comes Trish. I’m pretty sure you know how this is going to end but she looks great in a tied off shirt so I can’t complain. Edgecution by Christian gets a long two. Christian drags Trish in and shoves her down. Trish “accidentally” nails Jericho and Christian gets a rollup and the win with it.

Rating: B. Decent match but it could have been a lot more. This was a match where the buildup was better than the match. The feud would continue for a good while though and it continued to be rather solid. Fun stuff here and pure popcorn soap opera stuff which is usually a good combination.

Post match Trish slaps Jericho, turning heel and leaves with Christian. The crowd is TICKED. Trish and Christian kiss to a big reaction as they leave.

Now we get to one of the more entertaining part of the show. Foley is talking about being nervous about having his first match in four years but Rock pops up and cuts him off. He talks about how there’s no reason to be nervous because everyone knows what’s coming. Hurricane and Rosey know it. Don Muraco and Jimmy Snuka know it.

But most importantly the people know it. Make sure you get a shot of the people. Rock says let’s go take care of Evolution, if you smell what the Rock (Foley: and Sock) IS COOKING! Funny promo.

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

Now this has an interesting backstory to it. Back in December, Orton was on his Legend Killer gimmick and called out Foley. Foley got ready to fight him but at the last minute bailed out, allowing Orton to spit on him and walk out of the arena, branding him as a coward. At the Royal Rumble, Orton had made a long run but Foley entered at #21 and beat the crap out of Orton.

The problem with this was that when you go after Orton, you get all of Evolution. Except HHH who had more important things to do than fight two first ballot Hall of Famers. This made it 3-1, so Foley needed help. Rock returns to help his friend, and we get this as the end result. If you ever want to see the match that almost single handedly got Batista and Orton over, this is it. It was them being in there with the big boys and we could see what they can do.

I love the old school vs. new school dynamic here. The Rock N Sock Connection hit the ring and the fight is on. Rock vs. Batista is really weird to see. How weird is it that Rock retired younger than Foley? Rock vs. Flair is something that is just awesome to look at and it officially starts us off here. Rock does Flair’s strut and they lock up.

Out to the floor and Flair slips a thumb into the eye. That gets him nowhere as he gets slammed on the floor and Foley adds an elbow off the apron. Off to Orton now and Foley wants in. Orton bails but Foley somehow catches him and the beating is on. Back in with Foley in control. Rock comes in and punches Orton in the balls and then Flair smacks him in the back of the head.

Rock fights off Evolution but gets caught by Batista on the floor with the power game. Off to Orton vs. Rock in the ring now with Orton hammering away. Make that Batista. He’s not as big as he would get but still gets two off an elbow drop. Flair comes in now and throws chops in the corner. He tries to strut and gets his head taken off by a running clothesline. Well why mess with the basics?

Like an idiot, Flair goes up and gets slammed down. Why is anyone surprised at that? Off to Batista who hammers away. The crowd being all attentive is weird. Rock gets a clothesline to Batista and it’s off to Foley now. Double arm DDT is blocked and it’s a slug out. Running knee in the corner is stopped by a clothesline though. That’s a popular move in this match isn’t it?

On the floor Foley grabs the Claw on Orton out of nowhere. This is a good match so it’s hard to make jokes here. For the 1000th time in his career Foley’s knees slam into the steps with a LOUD bang. Orton in now who hammers away even more. Make that Flair who chops Foley down and then they slug it out. Foley takes him down but Orton comes in for a chinlock/face pull to stop Foley.

Batista comes in as Evolution keeps up that fast tagging. He starts the ground and pound on Foley but Mick slips a hand up and grabs the Claw to break it up. Orton comes in for the save and they keep tagging in and out very quickly. Swinging neckbreaker to Batista buys Foley some time and a double clothesline buys him even more time.

Flair comes in to break up the tag but a shot to the head is enough to bring in Rock who cleans house. DDTs and right hands all around but a Batista spinebuster takes him down. And now Flair wants to do the People’s Elbow. Rock nips up while Flair struts and drills him. There’s a spinebuster for Flair and it’s the REAL People’s Elbow, complete with Rock’s 8th strut of the match.

RKO doesn’t work but the Rock Bottom does. Flair makes a last second save and then SPRINTS around the ring to grab a chair. Batista Bomb to Rock which gets two for Orton. Rock manages to bring in Foley and he finally gets his hands on Orton. Foley loads up Socko but takes too long and Orton grabs a quick RKO for the pin. Foley sits up afterwards which I like as it makes it look like Foley got stunned but not knocked out. And that my friends, is how you put people over.

Rating: A. This wasn’t so much a great match but rather a work of art out there. They knew what they were doing and the two old masters made stars out of young guys. This is what you’re supposed to do out there as the old guys look great as well and like I said, it was a quick win rather than a dominating one. The key thing there though was that it was a win. Great stuff and worth seeing for what it means to put someone over.

Rock and Foley get a standing ovation as they deserve.

This year’s HOF class is honored. No big name here except Jesse Ventura. Next year it really picks up though. Heenan breaking up over wishing Monsoon was there with him is a very touching moment. Harley Race and Tito Santana go in too. teases running for President in 2008.

They bring them out into the arena to have Mean Gene do the presentations to the crowd. The full list is Bobby Heenan (can barely talk due to throat cancer. The fans chant weasel and Heenan’s reaction is of course hilarious), Tito Santana (one of the most underrated guys ever despite being considered great), Big John Studd (dead, his son is here), Harley Race (one of the best heels ever), Pete Rose (deserves to be in due to what he did at Mania. He was said to be incredibly gracious about being in so I can live with this).

Back to the wrestlers with Don Muraco (took the Snuka Splash that apparently every wrestler ever was inspired by), Great Valentine (gets one of the biggest pops surprisingly enough. Looks JUST like he did in the ring and still does to this day as far as I know), Junkyard Dog (Also dead, his daughter is here for him. It was her high school graduation that he died on the way home from), Billy Graham (perhaps the most influential heel of all time), Sgt. Slaughter (go watch the Alley Fight with Pat Patterson. Incredible fight), and Jesse Ventura (do I need to explain this one?

What’s the best way to follow that up? With this of course:

Sable/Torrie Wilson vs. Miss Jackie/Stacy Keibler

Instead of the traditional rules, this is pinfall. Blast it. This is happening because Torrie/Sable are in Playboy. Sable was doing a weird lesbian kind of thing at the time with Torrie, which is odd because Torrie had just come off a lesbian angle with Dawn, which ended apparently in her sleeping with Dawn.

Sable requests they all start in their underwear. Taz and Cole are cracking up over a joke Taz makes. It actually was funny and tells me these guys are funny in real life. I’m trying not to pay attention here as this is depressing. Torrie and Sable win.

Rating: F. I hate these things. They’re a total waste of time, we’ve seen the girls like this before, and it’s nothing special at all. Total waste of about 9 minutes.

We get some clips from Axxess.

Eddie comes in to talk to Benoit who is very nervous to say the least. He says that win or lose, he’ll be proud of Chris. Benoit says he won’t lose. Eddie says no one really expects Benoit to win, more or less sealing his title win. Benoit says he’s proud of Eddie for winning the WWE Title and Eddie starts laughing. He wants Benoit to get fired up and Benoit is. Tonight they both walk out world champions.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

This is a ten man gauntlet match. Think Tag Team Turmoil with the champion, Chavo Jr., going tenth. Everyone stands at ringside so I’ll just list them off as they go in. Rey comes out last and is the Flash this year. Ultimo Dragon vs. Shannon Moore to start and they’re moving out there, getting three two counts in maybe 40 seconds. Back suplex by Shannon gets two. Whisper in the Wind by Moore misses and Dragon hits the Asai DDT (sets for a Stunner but backflips over Shannon to slam the back of his head into the mat. Looks great) for the pin. I hope this isn’t a pattern.

Jamie Noble is in third and he jumps Dragon to take an early advantage. Dragon unleashes the kicks but misses a moonsault. A neckbreaker by Noble sets up a guillotine choke by Noble to get rid of Dragon.

Funaki comes in and is rolled up and pinned in 4 seconds. I hate these kind of matches for stupid stuff like these last two eliminations. This would never happen in a regular match and makes Funaki and Dragon look like blundering morons.

Nunzio comes in next and begs off instead of charging, which I think is logical here. They trade some holds and Nunzio gets a victory roll for two. Big kick gets two for Nunzio. He tries an O’Connor Roll but Noble ducks to send him to the floor. Noble dives on him with a front flip to put both guys down and Nunzio is counted out.

Billy Kidman is in now and Nunzio trips Noble. Kidman climbs the ropes and throws a Shooting Star Press but underrotates and lands ON TOP OF HIS HEAD! That gets two in the ring and Noble grabs that guillotine again. It’s easily reversed and Kidman adds a running enziguri. He tries the Shooting Star again but Noble runs up to block it. Short powerbomb off the middle ropes gets rid of Noble though as that might have been the longest fall at just under two minutes.

Rey comes in and gets half killed by a dropkick. He gets whipped in and baseball slides between Kidman’s legs while on his back. Kind of awesome. Kidman takes over after some interference from Tajiri’s friend Akio for no apparent reason. They go to the corner and Mysterio gets a sunset bomb to end Kidman.

Tajiri in next and he grabs the Tarantula very quickly. Handspring elbow is blocked by a dropkick and there’s the 619. Akio interferes again and winds up taking the mist to the face. Rey grabs a rollup to end Tajiri.

Akio can’t fight because of the mist. Whatever.

Tajiri kicks Rey in the head and it’s down to Chavo and Mysterio. Rey avoids a charge and gets a rana to take over. Down goes Chavo Senior via a baseball slide. The referee won’t let Rey dive on him though. Dang it give us our injured senior citizens! Ok he’s in his mid 50s here but he looks about 80. Rey is like screw it and dives over the referee to crush Chavo Senior. He tries a sunset flip but Chavo grabs the hand of his son to get the pin to retain. So Chavo pinned Rey in about 1:50? Got it.

Rating: D+. That’s overall. The problem here is simple: they went through it WAY too fast and it was impossible to get into any of the matches. These things need like 30 minutes to work which is why you never see them. This would have been WAY better as a fatal fourway but since both tag titles are in that format we had this. Not a fan of these at all because they make the guys in them look far too beatable.

We recap Goldberg vs. Brock. Goldberg was #30 in the Rumble and was being interviewed prior to the match. Lesnar got annoyed that he wasn’t being interviewed since he was WWE Champion at the time. He came in and beat up Goldberg in the Rumble so that Angle could eliminate him after Goldberg was dominating. Austin gave Goldberg a ticket to No Way Out and said don’t do anything he wouldn’t do. Goldberg speared Brock and Eddie won the title because of it (great match if you’ve never seen it).

Austin was named guest referee and then Lesnar popped up and gave Austin an F5. This basically turned into Austin vs. Lesnar instead with Goldberg being on the side. Lesnar stole Austin’s four wheeler and ticking Austin off. Austin beat Lesnar up and took it back, which totally took the spotlight off of Goldberg to eventually set up Brock vs. Austin.

However, this was Lesnar’s last WWE match s he went to the NFL and then the UFC, which made Austin more or less pointless here. Oh and it’s Goldberg’s last match too. Think they’re going to give it that old college try and work as hard as they can? If so, you’re not that smart.

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Let the chanting begin! The shorts on Goldberg never looked right. They stand around for about 20 seconds and we get to the far more interesting part of this match: the crowd. Almost immediately we get a YOU SOLD OUT chant directed at Lesnar. It’s one of the loudest you’ll ever hear outside of Philly and it shakes the guys up it seems. The announcers actually acknowledge it which is saying a lot.

Make that a minute of standing around. There’s the Goodbye Song as they’ve literally stood there staring at each other for a minute and a half. Ross tells us Lesnar is gone and they shout F Bombs at each other. Two minutes with zero contact at all. Now the fans chant for Austin, likely wanting him to Stun them both and just end it at that. Two and a half minutes now. This is all considered part of the match mind you.

At 2:45 they lock up. Amusingly enough Goldberg is called a mixed martial arts aficionado. They go down to their knees in a lockup. That eats up literally 45 seconds and it’s back to staring at each other. We’re four minutes into a thirteen and a half minute match and the total amount of contact is 45 seconds, literally all of which is on a lockup. Think about paying a ticket to see this, one of the feature matches, and getting this. They deserve the crowd reaction they’re getting.

They lock up again and that eats up almost 30 more seconds. The crowd chants THIS MATCH SUCKS and they’re right. The first offensive move of the match comes five minutes in (and yes I’m counting via a counter on the video) with a headlock by Lesnar that goes nowhere. They exchange shoulder blocks and then knock each other down with them. We’re 6:30 into this now and the move list in its entirety is: tie up, tie up, head lock, Goldberg shoulder block, Lesnar shoulder block, double shoulder block.

FINALLY things pick up a bit as Lesnar kicks away. Goldberg is like screw that and press slams him, bringing him down with a half spear/half spinebuster. The regular spear misses though and Goldberg goes chest first into the post. We hit the floor for some Lesnar dominance. I guess that was all the offense Goldberg had in him. The fans aren’t that impressed and tell Goldberg that he sucks.

Back in now and Lesnar really upgrades his offense with a suplex. Into a headlock with an arm trap. This is terrible. This eats up about a minute until Goldberg flips him to ZERO pop. Oh hey let’s go right back to the hold again because it worked so well the first time. Then they ram into each other again and are both down. The fans aren’t exactly happy.

Ross calls the match pedestrian. No Ross, taking a walk would be way more interesting than this. The fans boo the heck out of it as Goldberg makes his comeback. The crowd is chanting for Hogan. In 2004. Wow. Spinning neckbreaker sets up the spear for two. Yeah back then they wanted to drop the Jackhammer because the company was really stupid. F5 hits out of nowhere for two as well. Lesnar misses the spear and then the spear and Jackhammer ends it to make Goldberg 1-0!

Rating: F. This was a disgrace. I don’t care if you’re leaving or not, you don’t do it that way. No excuse for this whatsoever.

Austin, who did NOTHING in the match, stuns both guys post match to try and keep the fans from storming the ring to kill the guys in the match.

WM 21 is in LA.

Vince comes out and says there’s someone that should be thanked for Mania making it to #20. He then amazes even me, perhaps the most jaded wrestling fan there is and he thanks the fans. This amazed me to no end when I saw it and it still does today. Love him or hate him, this was pure class right here.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Rikishi/Scotty 2 Hotty vs. APA vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Basham Brothers

More filler here before we get to the real main events. This is one fall to a finish again. The APA was more or less worthless by this point. I didn’t even know they were still together in 04. Bradshaw would be world champion in the summer. Rikishi and Scotty have the titles coming in here. Bradshaw vs. Benjamin to start us off here.

After JBL takes Shelton down for awhile, Doug Basham tags himself in and I just do not care at this point. Absolutely nothing of note is going on here. Haas vs. Scotty at the moment. Crowd simply does not care either and it’s obvious. Bearhug to Scotty but a Basham comes in for the…save? Scotty is the face in peril I guess. He gets an enziguri but kicks Doug into Danny to keep Scotty from making the tag again.

Off to Rikishi who cleans house. I think he was supposed to be the grizzled veteran that could beat up just about anyone in the match. They pushed him like that for awhile and it didn’t work incredibly well. German attempt by Benjamin but the power of fat sends him to the floor. Haas gets a Stinkface for not funny comedy. Bradshaw comes in to clean house but walks into a Samoan Drop and then Rikishi drops down onto Danny to retain.
Rating: D. Pointless filler. These teams were worthless by this point anyway as they were all on the verge of breaking up. Shelton was in the IC title hunt within a year, JBL debuted that Summer, the Bashams were fired soon thereafter and no one ever cared about Rikishi and Scotty anyway. Total waste of time.

Edge is coming back.

Jesse Ventura is with Donald Trump at ringside. This was when the Apprentice was still a hot show so Trump was a celebrity here. I don’t like him but you have to admit, the guy apparently likes wrestling as this was the 4th show he was a part of. Jesse implies he’ll run for President someday, getting a big pop.

Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Molly Holly

This is belt vs. hair with Victoria as champion. Victoria got hotter every time I saw her. The crowd is already more into this than they were for the entire previous match. Molly works the arm to control but gets rolled up for two. Suplex gets two for Molly. Molly is a virgin and wears big underwear which is the focal point of the match. She uses really basic stuff and it’s rather boring. Sunset Bomb gets two and then Molly tries the Widow’s Peak. That doesn’t work and Victoria gets a backslide to retain.

Rating: D+. Short and pretty dull. The real thing here was the shaved diva which doesn’t really do much as the stipulation was more or less just thrown on. Lack of an interesting match for the most part but at least Victoria looked good in those little white shorts.

Head shaving ensues.

We recap Eddie vs. Angle. The idea in short is Eddie is a former drug addict and Kurt says that means he shouldn’t represent Smackdown. The idea is that Eddie is in over his head and Heyman, the Smackdown GM, is against Eddie too for no apparent reason.

During the video package, Molly is still being shaved.
Smackdown Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

They lock up in the first minute, already far ahead of Lesnar vs. Goldberg as far as pacing goes. We start with some mat stuff where Eddie is talented but in over his head. Angle takes him down with a judo throw and grabs a headlock. Let’s go Angle/Angle Sucks chants begin dueling. Angle runs him over with a shoulder and it’s a standoff.

Eddie gets a set of shoulder blocks and Angle hits the floor to clear his head. Back in and Angle takes it back to the mat which is where he’s definitely in control for the most part. Front facelock goes on to drain some energy out of the champion. Eddie escapes and we go back to the mat again with Eddie controlling a keylock. This is well done stuff as they’re definitely keeping things interesting out there for this.

Knee to the ribs takes Eddie down and it’s off to an abdominal stretch. Eddie reverses and tries Three Amigos but can only get one as Kurt gets a German. Out to the apron and Angle of course can’t get the German to the floor because it would, you know, kill Eddie. Eddie knocks him to the floor and dives out at Angle but misses, hitting the barrier chest first. That gets two back in the ring.

Angle works on the ribs/midsection even more, eventually hot shotting Eddie onto the top rope for two. Belly to belly sends Eddie flying. Another gets two and it’s back to the ribs. Angle shifts it into a bearhug and then into a belly to belly for two. Middle rope belly to belly is blocked as is the running belly to belly. Frog Splash misses and Eddie’s momentum is gone just as fast as it arrived.

Kurt hammers away as Cole calls him a hypocrite for talking about how Eddie is a disgrace. Eddie shrugs it off and wants more shots. He fires back and gets a little momentum going. A charge in the corner misses and Eddie gets a belly to back suplex for two. Eddie still can’t get Three Amigos and it’s Rolling German time. The second is reversed into a rollup for two and then Angle drills Eddie to take him right back down again.

Angle Slam is countered and Eddie speeds things up a bit. Three Amigos are attempted again and again Kurt counters after a second one. Ankle Lock goes on for a bit but not that long. Dropkick puts Kurt down but as Eddie goes for the Frog Splash Angle gets the running belly to belly two. After a rollup gets two Eddie is caught in a German for two.

Another counter to the Angle Slam, this one in the form of a DDT sets up the Frog Splash for two. Has that ever happened before? Angle plays possum and picks the ankle out of nowhere into the ankle lock. Again he manages to send Kurt to the floor and Eddie is unlacing his boot. Angle doesn’t see this and comes right back with the ankle lock. Eddie kicks the hold off and the boot goes off with it. He grabs a small package on the confused Kurt (and wraps his feet around the ropes to cheat a bit) to retain in a brilliant ending.

Rating: A. Excellent stuff here. There’s definitely a story here with Eddie going move for move with Angle but in the end going back to his roots to pick up the upset. Also look at the intelligence that Eddie shows at the end by playing possum just like Kurt did seconds before to beat Angle as he goes just a step too far to retain the title. Go find this match and watch it. You’ll learn something.

We recap Taker vs. Kane. Kane had buried Taker yet again. This time it was over Taker turning into the American and ceasing to be a monster. I guess the tag title run they had together didn’t count? At the Rumble a Taker Gong went off to scare the heck out of Kane and the distraction let Booker put him out. This kept happening until it was announced his return would be here at Mania.

Undertaker vs. Kane

 

Yeah the build here isn’t quite as good as their first Mania match. Taker gets the full on Mania entrance, complete with darkness, chanting, fire, druids, and PAUL BEARER!!! Taker’s hair isn’t even to his shoulders here so the look is a bit off. Oh and he wears a cowboy hat now. Kane is all scared to death here and shouts that Taker isn’t real. He reaches out and touches Taker (there’s an old commercial in there somewhere) and Taker hammers away.

Kane hides on the floor and Taker starts his usual stuff. The ending is so obvious here it’s unreal. Some corner clotheslines put Kane down but the Last Ride is blocked. They mess up the reverse back body drop as they’re about three feet away from the ropes. Taker does some ground and pound but walks into a sidewalk slam. Top rope clothesline gets two.

They slug it out which of course Taker wins. Kane misses a charge in the corner and a running big boot puts Kane down. Old School is caught by a chokeslam and Kane stops to laugh. Taker sits up, Kane panics and I think you know what’s going to end the match.

Rating: D. This was pretty bad. Taker completely squashed Kane here, which to be fair is more or less Kane’s job. Not much of a match at all although that’s what the people wanted I think. Taker has been the same character since this point for the most part and this was the beginning of the modern Taker.

We recap the Raw World Title match. HHH is champion, Benoit won the Rumble and should get the one on one shot. However, at the Rumble Shawn and HHH tied in a Last Man Standing match so Shawn says he should get another shot. Always thought that was ridiculous. Shawn had his chance, but he didn’t win. It shouldn’t be him again. Anyway he signed the contract anyway so Austin made it a triple threat. The video more or less shows Shawn as a heel because he just wouldn’t let Benoit have his moment.

Raw World Title: Chris Benoit vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

 

Surprisingly normal entrance for HHH here although he’s wearing white boots. We even get a weapons check which you never see anymore. Everyone goes after everyone to start us off here with Shawn avoiding a Crossface. HHH to the floor and the others slug it out. He comes back in when he thinks it’s best as we’re in a slow build here.

DX explodes for a bit and the fans think someone screwed Bret. Leaping knee gets two. Some nice tandem stuff lets Shawn hit a moonsault off the top to the floor to take everyone out. HHH and Shawn go back to the ring now with Benoit out on the floor. Facebuster to Shawn but he can’t hit the Pedigree as Chris saves. Shawn’s shoulder goes into the post and Benoit hits a snap suplex on HHH.

With Benoit in the Tree of Woe HHH throws Shawn into him in a cool spot. Shawn nips up so Benoit knocks him to the floor. Benoit hits Rolling Germans on the Game Shawn stops the headbutt and HHH takes him down with a DDT. Superplex by HHH gets two on Benoit. Make that three twos. The fans like Benoit here. Pedigree is reversed into a bad Crossface which Shawn breaks up.

Rolling Germans by Shawn are booed and reversed into a set by Benoit. Headbutt to Shawn gets two. Forearm and nipup by Shawn but there’s no one else in the ring. HHH comes in and gets beaten on for a bit. Elbow hits and the Band is Tuned Up. The kick connects but Benoit saves. Shawn vs. Benoit now with Shawn being launched into the post to bust him open. Terrible Crossface to Shawn and HHH grabs his arm before he can tap.

Benoit and HHH hit the floor for some brawling while Shawn is down. HHH sends him into the steps and preps the announce table. Just the Smackdown one though, not the Spanish one. Benoit, ever the traditionalist, puts HHH on the Spanish one. German is blocked as it the Pedigree. Shawn pops up and DX suplexes/drops Benoit through the SD table in a cool visual.

Back in the ring now it’s Shawn vs. HHH. They slug it out with neither guy taking over. HHH is sent to the floor and a cameraman is taken out. Ross wants an EMT for Benoit. HHH gets posted (without spam) and is busted as well. Pedigree out of NOWHERE is the counter to some punches. Somehow Benoit makes the save and the crowd pops like a cherry.

Benoit chops away but HHH grabs a Pedigree attempt which is reversed into a long Sharpshooter in an eruption. Shawn kicks Chris’ head off though which somehow only gets two. Ross’ voice is almost gone here. Loud Benoit chant starts up as Shawn Tunes Up the Band. Benoit backdrops him to the floor and walks into another Pedigree attempt. Benoit counters that into a Crossface with HHH in agony. HHH rolls backwards but Benoit hangs on and HHH taps, giving Benoit the World Title in the main event of Wrestlemania.

Rating: A+. Great match, everything clicked, absolute classic. There’s nothing else I can say here.

Eddie comes out to celebrate with Benoit in a classic Wrestlemania moment.

Overall Rating: B. This is good but the length starts to get old after awhile. At 4 ½ hours long it needs about an hour cut off to be a classic. Still though with two great world title matches and some other good stuff in there it’s hard to argue. Also we get a legit Mania moment to end the show which is never a bad thing. Good show and worth seeing, but be ready to fast forward some stuff.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – March 14, 2005 (2019 Redo): Nostalgic Quality

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 14, 2005
Location: Gwinnett Center, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We continue the march towards Wrestlemania with the first of two weeks in a series called Pick Your Poison. With this show and the next show, Batista and HHH will pick each other’s opponent, starting with HHH having to face Chris Benoit. That should be rather entertaining and we get to build up towards Money in the Bank as well. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with the Highlight Reel and Chris Jericho is sitting on top of a ladder. Jericho talks about how everyone wants to climb the ladder of success and become World Champion. He’s going to get that chance again at Wrestlemania when he wins the first Money in the Bank ladder match. Yeah it’s a difficult task but that is what Wrestlemania is about.

That brings him to his guest tonight: the man who challenged the Undertaker to Wrestlemania, Randy Orton. Jericho says this is a little harder than just RKOing the Fabulous Moolah because Undertaker is undefeated at Wrestlemania. Orton understands that a lot of people don’t believe he can beat Undertaker but he’s surprised a lot of people before. We hear some of Orton’s accomplishments and Undertaker will be surprised at Wrestlemania.

Jericho likes the idea of surprises and has a surprise of his own. His other guest is a man who has faced the Undertaker at Wrestlemania and he’s from right here in Georgia: Jake Roberts. Jake is looking rather….well I guess the word here would be horrible, so thankfully we look at some of his highlights over the years, including the Alice Cooper/Jimmy Hart deal from Wrestlemania III (where he lost), the blindfold match at Wrestlemania VII (where we all lost) and…..a match against Kamala from a Saturday Night’s Main Event?

Anyway, Jake talks about knowing Orton’s grandfather and father but he doesn’t know Orton that well. Now, in baseball, you hit a baseball, in basketball you hit a three point shot and in hockey, you play hockey. What matters in all of them though is timing. Jake knows Orton is a great wrestler because he was World Champion, but since he doesn’t have the belt anymore, he must have lost it.

Tonight, Jake is here to do a favor to Orton’s father. Jake needs to reintroduce Orton’s brain to his mouth because he’s talking out of elsewhere. In case you’re a bit confused, that didn’t make the most sense when Jake was saying it either but he’s a complicated guy. Jake says it’s all about respect so Orton talks about how facing the Undertaker is about leaving the ring with your soul.

Orton asks how Jake felt after being Undertaker’s victim at Wrestlemania VIII. When Orton beats Undertaker at Wrestlemania, he’ll make a bigger impact than Jake made in his entire career. Jake goes for the snake but has to give Orton the short arm clothesline. The DDT is reversed into the RKO though, with Jake taking it far better than I would have guessed. This worked well enough, Jake’s ramblings and disjointed promo aside.

Classic Hogan Moment: Hulkamania Is Here.

Kane vs. Christian/Tyson Tomko

Fallout from last week where Kane beat Christian but got hit in the face with a ladder shot from Tomko. Christian starts for the team and gets knocked down in a hurry. A whip into the corner finally slows Kane down and it’s Tomko coming in for some right hands to the face. Christian and Tomko take turns hammering Kane down but Kane pulls Christian face first into the post. The side slam plants Tomko and the top rope clothesline makes it even worse. The chokeslam finishes Tomko with Christian not being around for the last minute plus.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as Kane almost squashed both of them in short order. Christian feels like he’s being tacked onto the ladder match and having him lose to Kane twice in a row isn’t the best way to fix things. Neither is likely to win the briefcase anyway, but did they need to have Christian look so worthless on the way there?

Post match Christian pulls out the ladder but Kane hits Tomko with it to make the statuses clear while busting Tomko open a bit.

Ric Flair sends Snitsky after Batista. I’m not sure if Batista is good enough for that one. It wouldn’t be Snitsky’s fault if he hurt Batista so badly that he was out of Wrestlemania. Snitsky says hurting Batista so badly would be ALL his fault. I don’t think they’re on the same page here.

Lita coaches Christy Hemme on defending against Trish’s kicks. William Regal and Tajiri come in for a demonstration, but Christy has to sign a Playboy to Tajiri. Regal: “He only reads the articles.” Christy tries her own kicks and Regal takes a low blow for the HILARIOUS payoff. Ok so it’s Regal so it is rather funny. Lita offers to get Regal some ice. Regal: “I NEED MORE THAN BLOODY ICE!” Lita tells Christy that wasn’t bad.

Marty Jannetty comes in to see Shawn Michaels, who thinks Marty needs a warmup before the match against Kurt Angle. That’s why tonight, for one night only, it’s a Rockers reunion.

Steve Austin highlight package for his Wrestlemania return.

Edge vs. Shelton Benjamin

Non-title. Edge jumps Shelton from behind during the entrances and sends him into the steps. He does it again for a bonus and then hammers away inside with the referee having to drag Edge off. The referee is still cool with asking Shelton if he wants to have the match and Shelton says ring the bell. Edge sends him straight outside and we take a break twenty seconds in. Back with Shelton still in trouble as Edge isn’t quite as aggressive. To be fair you can’t be angry all the time. It’s just tiring.

Shelton is back with the top rope clothesline but can’t follow up. Shelton slugs away with a bunch of right hands against the ropes, which JR calls “Street Benjamin.” A backdrop and a running knee to the face set up the Stinger Splash but Edge moves. That’s fine with Shelton, who jumps right back off with a super sunset flip for two because he can do that. Edge’s powerslam gets two but the spear is blocked, setting up a Dragon Whip to bump the referee by mistake. Now the spear can connect but since there’s no referee, let’s go for a ladder. Cue Jericho to knock it into Edge’s face though and the exploder gives Shelton the pin.

Rating: B-. This took some time to get going but Shelton is starting to feel it out there with one big win after another. Edge can get all the more frustrated as he gets closer and closer to the big win, which almost has to be soon. Odds are we get Jericho vs. Edge out of this too so it’s a nice effort all around.

Rockers vs. La Resistance

Dig that old school music, though the lack of matching neon does hold things back a bit. Grenier and Marty exchange wristlocks to start with Jannetty grabbing a quickly broken armbar. A double hiptoss works a bit better for the French guys but Marty slides between Conway’s legs for the tag to Shawn and the tandem offense starts right back up. Stereo dives take La Resistance down again but Grenier low bridges Shawn to the floor to take over. A suplex gives Grenier two and we hit the chinlock.

Jannetty tries to come in, which just leaves Shawn to take a Hart Attack for two. Shawn punches Grenier down and throws the two of them into each other, allowing the tag off to Marty. A dropkick puts Grenier to the floor, with JR saying the mat isn’t covered with barbecue sauce. Shawn superkicks Conway as Marty hits the Rocker Dropper on Grenier for the pin.

Rating: C-. It was a nice little reunion here and that’s what makes something like this feel special. They didn’t overstay their welcome and they made it clear that this was a one off match. Not everything needs to be some big, epic return so having something that worked this easily and went pretty smoothly was a feel good moment. Now just get Marty through Smackdown before he self destructs.

Flair talks with HHH about the big Snitsky plan and seems to get HHH on board. When Batista gets beaten down, no one will remember HHH tapping out to Chris Benoit a year ago tonight!

Trish isn’t worried about Christy at Wrestlemania because she’s already ended Lita’s career. Maybe Trish should get a trainer as well. Like Hannibal Lecter for example, because she’s going to eat Christy alive (that’s a big pop). Maria thinks Christy looked impressive last week and gets beaten up.

Flair brags about Snitsky but wants him to be mean enough to hurt Batista. Cue Batista to say “Hey Ric.”, which sends Flair into a rant about how Batista can’t take anything away from HHH because HHH is the franchise. Batista smiles so Flair threatens to slap it off of his face. All Batista is coming for is the title. Flair was sounding like Mickey from Rocky here.

HHH vs. Chris Benoit

Non-title and Flair is here with HHH. The fans are right there with the YOU TAPPED OUT chants at HHH, who takes Benoit down in a bit of a surprise. Benoit wastes no time in trying for the Sharpshooter before pulling HHH away from the ropes in a crash. A headlock takes HHH down but it’s too early for the Crossface. HHH teases leaving but gets caught with a cheap shot to the face.

You don’t hit Benoit though as he’s right back with the chops and a suplex to put HHH outside again. Benoit gets knocked off the apron though and we take a break. Back with Benoit chopping his way out of the corner but walking into a spinebuster. Benoit knocks him backwards and goes up to, where he is promptly crotched right back down. The superplex drops Benoit for two but he’s right back with a catapult into the buckle, which JR says is not made of chocolate. First of all, being launched head first into chocolate can be painful. Second, get JR some dinner already as he’s talked about eating the ring twice.

They slug it out with Benoit getting smart by rolling the German suplexes. HHH gets back up and, you guessed it, more suplexes. The Swan Dive gets two so Benoit adds two more German suplexes but HHH grabs the rope for a breather. A hard whip into the corner drops Benoit but the Pedigree is countered into the Crossface.

The Flair distraction….does nothing as HHH doesn’t even tap behind the referee’s back. HHH rolls out and tries the Pedigree, which is reversed into the Sharpshooter. Flair tries to bring in the title and gets tossed, but it made Benoit release the hold. The low blow into the Pedigree gives HHH the pin.

Rating: B+. These two have some awesome chemistry together and it’s rare to see HHH beat him (though it wasn’t the first time as commentary kept talking about). Benoit is someone who could be reinserted into the World Title picture at any time and have a great match with anyone, making him as useful as almost anyone on the roster. This was one of the better TV matches in a long and they were both working very hard.

Randy Orton will be on Smackdown to sign the contract with Undertaker.

Wrestlemania rundown. That card is looking pretty awesome.

Here are Hassan and Daivari to make the same complaints they always make, this time because Hassan isn’t on Wrestlemania.

Christy stays with Maria while Lita goes off to run into Snitsky, who promises to finish what he started with her. Uh, what exactly did he start?

Batista vs. Gene Snitsky

Flair and HHH come out to watch and somehow Flair is the sweatier of the two. Snitsky tells Batista to try the shoulder but gets head faked and clotheslined. As usual, Batista is the smartest person on the show. A shout at Flair takes too long and Snitsky gets up a boot in the corner. Snitsky wraps the leg around the post and drops some elbows onto it for painful measure. The pumphandle powerslam gives Snitsky two so Batista kicks him outside. The comeback is on with some corner clotheslines and the spinebuster, which draws Flair in the DQ.

Rating: D. I said Batista is smart but he’s not a miracle worker. There is only so much that he can do against someone like Snitsky, whose one big move was used up in less than three minutes. This was another backfiring plan from Flair and HHH so Batista keeps looking strong, though the DQ would have been just about the same as a regular fall.

Post match Batista shrugs Flair off but the three villains all get in with chairs. Cue Kane to go after Snitsky so Batista can take out Flair as HHH leaves. HHH makes Batista vs. Kane for next week.

Overall Rating: B. This was a better show than they’ve done in a few months now with a good balance of wrestling and nostalgia, which you don’t get very often. Batista continues to look awesome and Wrestlemania could be a great card if everything lives up to its potential. Roberts and Jannetty were some rather nice surprises and fit in very well with the rest of the show. Very strong show as the build to Wrestlemania is clicking at the right time.

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Monday Night Raw – February 7, 2005 (2019 Redo): Puro WWE

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 7, 2005
Location: Super Arena, Saitama, Japan
Attendance: 16,657
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is a first for the company as they are now heading over to Japan for a rare international Raw. It’s a stacked card too with the Tag Team Titles on the line, Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho in a submission match and Edge FINALLY getting his World Title shot against HHH. Given the way things are going, we might actually get some lengthy matches out of all three. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence, still featuring the Rock. How long has it been since he’s been in anything more than a cameo?

Here’s Eric Bischoff to get things going. Bischoff says he is the GM of Raw and one of the most powerful and respected men in wrestling. The translator explains it to the Japanese crowd, who are NOT happy with Bischoff. In addition to the previously announced matches, we’re getting Shawn Michaels vs. Ric Flair. We’ll get things going right now.

Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

Submission match. Jericho goes nose to nose with him to start and it’s an aggressive lockup to start. They go outside without breaking the lockup and it’s more nose to nose. Back in and Benoit starts in on a hammerlock but has to break up a Walls attempt. Neither of them can get anywhere on the mat and that means another standoff. Jericho drops him ribs first over the top rope but the springboard dropkick is knocked out of the air.

An exchange of headbutts puts them both on the floor though and we take a break. Back with Benoit snapping off a suplex as Jericho is busted open. Jericho breaks up the rolling German suplexes and grabs an octopus hold of all things. That’s reversed as well though and now the rolling German suplexes connect. The third is countered into a half crab though as Jericho is opening up the submission playbook here.

Rating: B. Oh like this wasn’t going to be awesome with the two of them in a hard hitting match in Japan. There’s something awesome about watching Benoit try for submissions (I could watch him snap people down into the Crossface for hours) as he has more intensity with them than anyone else. Jericho can hang with him in there for a bit but Benoit winning makes more sense here.

Post match they shake hands and Benoit gets to pose in the ring on his own for a bit.

Video on the trip to Japan and their time there so far.

Ric Flair had a great time in Roppongi last night and can’t wait for a great evening for Evolution. HHH has been thinking about Batista and maybe they should fight at Wrestlemania. Flair isn’t sure and likes the idea of HHH and Batista ruling the two shows (Flair: “And I’m part of the show too!”). HHH agrees and is going to talk to Batista.

Christian is talking to a Japanese reporter but stops to ask Stacy Keibler for a quote for the article. The interviewer is looking for Randy Orton, which gets a big reaction. Apparently Christian is very annoying. Christian mocks Orton’s posing and thinks he’s a chair shot away from ending his career. Stacy thinks Orton could beat Christian so Christian wants a match tonight. With Tomko that is.

Wrestlemania Braveheart trailer.

Maven wants to know why he wasn’t in the Royal Rumble. Since he wasn’t, he’ll win here instead.

Batista vs. Maven

Guess what happens. Thirty seconds.

Post match we get another video from Smackdown, with Big Show being ready to beat Batista at Wrestlemania after he wins the title at No Way Out. Batista isn’t pleased. I’m not sure why Batista looks so stunned when this interview aired on Smackdown last week. It’s not like it’s a hidden camera.

Post break Batista rants at Bischoff about the Smackdown footage so Bischoff promises to get to the bottom of it. First though, Bischoff needs to talk to him about Theodore Long’s Smackdown offer. Smackdown is second rate and Raw is in the palm of his hand. Batista seems interested by both ideas.

Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. William Regal/Tajiri

Regal and Tajiri are challenging and the fans are WAY behind Tajiri, in case that wasn’t clear. Regal takes Conway down by the arm to start and it’s off to Tajiri for a baseball slide to the face. It’s back to Regal, who gets taken down by a quick suplex. A backdrop gets Regal out of a front facelock and it’s back to Tajiri for the hard kicks. An enziguri drops Grenier for two and the fans aren’t pleased. That means a double handspring elbow to take the champs down so Grenier grabs the flag. Tajiri kicks it away though and fires off some mist, setting up the Buzzsaw kick for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D+. The match itself wasn’t the point here as this was ALL about the home country pop for Tajiri and there’s nothing wrong with that. Regal and Tajiri have a history together so it’s not like this was even that far out of left field. It’s not like La Resistance has any value at the moment anyway. Not a good match (though it was far from terrible) but they did exactly what they were trying to do.

Post match Tajiri says something in Japanese and the new champs celebrate in the crowd.

Sumo champion Akebono is in the crowd.

Here are some of this year’s Hall of Fame inductees.

Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels

You know Flair is getting the legend reaction here. Shawn’s is a bit louder but the fans are clapping instead of bowing. The fans respect them both but in different ways. Flair takes him into the corner and sneaks in an elbow as a villain should. The chops and right hands in the corner wake Shawn up enough to reverse for some chops of his own. A backdrop keeps Flair in trouble so he pokes the eye to take over. Shawn is right back with some right hands to set up the Flair Flop for two.

Flair gets smart and hits the chop block to take over, meaning it’s time for the standard leg work. The Figure Four goes on but is finally turned over, meaning Flair can kick at the leg some more. Shawn is fine enough to get two off a backslide as Lawler counts to two in Japanese. An enziguri drops Shawn and the fans are very appreciative of a tribute to Inoki. Flair kicks at the knee again and goes up, with the crowd instantly knowing what’s coming. The forearm into the nipup sets up the top rope elbow so Sweet Chin Music can finish clean.

Rating: C+. This took some time to get going but they finished as they should have. Both of them are legends in Japan so the fans were going to cheer anything they did out there. It was fine to play it safe with a basic match not try to do anything too big, as Shawn is gearing up for Kurt Angle and Flair is going to be there for HHH and Batista.

Here’s Jerry Lawler in the ring for an American fashion show. Maria is out first to represent the wild, wild west (she’s wearing a cowboy hat and shooting finger guns), Victoria represents the open road as a biker (jacket over her usual gear), and Christy represents the beaches in a swimsuit. Lawler tries to go over some rules for the thing but it’s Simon Dean interrupting instead.

Simon calls this a waste of time and insults the crowd, drawing Akebono out of his chair. That goes nowhere as Simon calls the women overweight. Lawler stands up for them so Simon calls him Burger King. Christy gets in a low blow and Simon is done. Pretty close to a waste of time.

Evolution has a meeting in the back with HHH trying to talk Batista into going to Smackdown (Didn’t he want him on Raw about forty minutes ago?). Flair paints the picture and Batista will think about it as they stop Edge from winning the title tonight.

Edge isn’t happy with everyone talking about Batista when he finally has his title shot tonight. HHH has his Braveheart trailer for Wrestlemania where he talks about defending the title because Edge gets overlooked again.

Video on the trip to Japan.

Randy Orton vs. Tyson Tomko

Orton seems more popular here than in America. No Christian with Tomko in a bit of a surprise. A headlock takeover has Tomko down early on as Lawler blames Stacy for getting Orton into this. Back up and Tomko hits a powerslam as Christian drags Stacy out here. The distraction lets Tomko hit a big clothesline and it’s time to wonder about another concussion.

Tomko starts going after the head in slow motion but the backbreaker gets Orton out of trouble. Orton slugs away and hits a dropkick but bangs his head again. Back up and Tomko whips him into the corner, which is reversed into a rollup for a pretty fast pin. Oh and Stacy cheers to validate her existence.

Rating: D. I could go for Christian vs. Orton and this was an acceptable step to get there. That being said, it didn’t do much for Tomko, who is only there for the sake of being big and imposing while attacking some people between matches. It’s better to not have him in a match of his own as things don’t tend to go all that well.

Post match Christian and Tomko jump Orton with Christian hitting an Unprettier. Orton had to be helped out during the break. It’s so strange seeing concussions being used as a storyline these days.

We look back at Regal and Tajiri winning the Tag Team Titles.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. HHH

HHH is defending and has Flair with him. They trade hammerlocks to start and now the fans are rather quiet, likely because they know how important a World Title match is. HHH bridges up into a backslide, albeit after a bit of a slip, for two but Edge grabs a headscissors on the mat. Back up and Edge hits a spear in the corner but a second attempt hits post, as tends to be the case.

We take a break and come back with Edge getting two off a backbreaker. A DDT on the arm gets HHH out of trouble and they’re both down. The facebuster gives HHH two and the spinebuster is good for the same. Edge backdrops his way out of the Pedigree but the spear is cut off by the running knee. A shot to the back takes HHH down though and a pretty weak Edgecator goes on. That stays on for a rather long time until HHH dives over for the rope.

Edge’s spear hits the referee as we get more into Evolution’s wheelhouse. There’s no count off a neckbreaker so Edge has to spear Flair down, knocking a chair out of his hands. HHH gets in a belly to back suplex to make Edge drop the chair and everyone is down again. They both crawl for the chair but here’s Batista to take it away. HHH knocks Edge off the apron, sending him into Batista by mistake. Back in and Edge hits the Impaler for yet another double knockdown. Batista comes in and spinebusters Edge, setting up the Pedigree to retain the title.

Rating: C. They would have been better off with about two minutes of laying around cut out of this but Edge can continue to rant about not getting a fair shot so he’ll be fine. What matters most here is HHH needs Batista again, furthering Batista’s big moment which has to be coming in the next few weeks. Not a bad match, but it was more about the stories than anything else.

HHH holds up the title but Batista looks at both him and the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This felt like a pay per view edition of Raw and it’s always nice to see something like that. They had some big matches with a cool moment in the title change, plus a pretty awesome opener. Once we get No Way Out finished up, it’s time to get things going to Wrestlemania. What matters here though is how much groundwork has been laid, because as soon as Batista gets his moment, everything is going to change for good.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – January 31, 2005: The Slow Moment After The Moment Before The Big Moment

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 31, 2005
Location: HP Pavilion, San Jose, California
Attendance: 9,200
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Here are last night’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here are HHH and Ric Flair to open things up. Flair talks about how HHH knows he’s the greatest no matter what anyone thinks. Shawn Michaels came around and people started saying that HHH was “arguably” the greatest that ever lived. After last night though, there is no doubt about who the greatest of all time really is. HHH says Orton wasn’t quite destined to be the greatest because HHH is destiny. He could talk about how great he is but everyone knows it already.

That wasn’t all that happened last night though because something special happened. It’s the kind of thing that people are going to talk about decades from now. Therefore, here is Batista, the winner of the Royal Rumble, rocking a suit. HHH brags about Batista winning the Rumble, throwing John Cena out three times just to make the point clear. He’s proud of Batista because this is what they talked about from the beginning.

At first Batista was a guy with muscles in a t-shirt but now he has Armani suits, a Rolex watch, a Mercedes-Benz and women. Greatness gravitates to greatness and he’s a product of HHH after all. At Wrestlemania, it will be HHH’s honor to defend the title against Batista. After a smile, Batista says he’s glad to hear what HHH thinks of him. Now, let’s hear what Batista thinks of HHH.

We cut to a JBL promo from last night with JBL saying Batista can come to Wrestlemania and take a beating from the champ. As good as Batista is, he is not in JBL’s league. HHH doesn’t like what JBL said and tells Foghorn Leghorn that all Batista would have to do to be WWE Champion is come face JBL. However, he is NOT going to Smackdown because they’re having their big match at Wrestlemania. Batista never got to say anything after JBL’s promo. The pieces continue to fall into place.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Simon Dean

Benjamin is defending. Dean hammers away to start as JR talks about him being a sponsor of the show. How you quickly transition from sponsor to title contender isn’t clear. Shelton fights back but Simon gets caught pulling something out of his bag. With the referee taking that away, Dean gets the bag up to block a Stinger Splash for two. Not that it matters as the Dragon Whip retains the title in a hurry.

Post match Simon says the only reason that happened was Shelton uses the Simon System. That earns him an exploder suplex to send him down to the lowest of the lower card for good.

HHH yells at Eric Bischoff about who put up that JBL clip. It turns into a threat, which Bischoff doesn’t like.

Wrestlemania Recall: Butterbean kills Bart Gunn’s career dead and knocks the Brawl For All into the vault for good.

Christy Hemme shoots off a t-shirt gun but here’s Edge to cut her off. Edge doesn’t like Christy playing dumb like this but it can’t be that hard for her. He wants to see what kind of shirts they are so Christy shows him that it’s a Wrestlemania XXI shirt. Edge rants about how he dominated the Royal Rumble by eliminating the most people and coming down to the final three, all after beating Shawn Michaels. Christy is panicking as Edge yells so violence is threatened.

Cue Shawn to make the save but he also wants to talk about Edge being embarrassed. What is embarrassing is saying that Edge beat him last night. Then Kurt Angle threw him out and busted him open, so yeah, Shawn has some pent up frustration. Therefore, he needs to let some of that out tonight in San Jose. Shawn already has a tag match tonight but he’s willing to work twice in one night twice in a row. Edge says no so Shawn superkicks him. That’s one way to shut someone up.

Maven vs. Hurricane

Hurricane shrugs off some kicks to the ribs and takes him down with a shoulder. A headscissors is countered into a side slam (not bad) and Maven stays on the back with a running forearm. Hurricane fights out of a chinlock but misses the Blockbuster. Maven finishes with the yet to be named Backstabber. Not very good, but it’s clear they’re done with Maven anyway.

Maria and Candice find Gene Snitsky in the women’s locker room….and he likes their shoes.

We look at Kane and Snitsky interfering in the Heidenreich vs. Undertaker casket match from last night.

Bischoff demands that Coach find out who played the JBL video. Theodore Long comes in and Bischoff accuses him of playing the tape to steal Batista from Raw. That’s exactly right but he had nothing to do with the tape. Long has already made a lucrative offer to Batista to face either JBL or Big Show. It sounds to him like Batista is Smackdown bound. Holla holla holla.

Randy Orton and Stacy Keibler have a forced flirty conversation about Orton’s tag match. Orton has to do it because this is what he does. From a kayfabe perspective, why is Stacy there? She hasn’t wrestled a regular match since October, she isn’t managing anyone and she just kind of hangs around the show. At least Christy comes out and does some official stuff occasionally.

Tag Team Titles: Chris Jericho/Chris Benoit vs. La Resistance

La Resistance is defending. Jericho elbows Conway in the face to start but it’s too early for the Walls attempt. Benoit comes in for a nice reaction and gets elbowed down, allowing Grenier to come in and stomp away. A Crossface attempt is broken up with a cheap shot and Grenier cranks on Benoit’s neck. That’s broken up and Benoit hits an enziguri, allowing the tag off to Jericho.

Grenier comes in as well and Jericho orders him to “COME ON FRENCHIE!” A bulldog takes Martin down but the Lionsault misses. Everything breaks down and Jericho tries the Walls on Grenier but has to switch to Conway to cut off a belt shot. Benoit and Conway fight to the floor as Jericho gets the Walls but Conway comes back in for the save. That’s enough for the double DQ and the fans are rather annoyed.

Rating: D. The Tag Team Titles are dying a horrible death here as the champs are lame ducks but don’t really have anyone else to drop the titles to. That left Jericho and Benoit fighting at half speed (at most) so they didn’t blow the champs away and that doesn’t help anyone. They need to find someone fresh for the titles soon because this is just sad.

Chris Master is coming. Maybe he can make a new vignette during this long delay.

Here are Muhammad Hassan and Daivari for their usual complaining, though this time Hassan can complain about last night. That is proof of the discrimination so tonight he wants to fight any American.

Muhammad Hassan vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Slaughter shoves a ranting Daivari down before the bell and gets the cobra clutch in a hurry. A Daivari distraction breaks that up and Slaughter gets sent chest first into the buckle. Hassan fires off some knees to the ribs but Slaughter is back with the right hands. That’s about it though as the Downward Spiral into the camel clutch finishes Slaughter. Sounds like a Slaughter tribute from Hassan. That might be all he has at the moment too, as Hassan is floundering. What do you expect though when you have him beating Lawler, Val Venis, Hurricane and Slaughter?

Jericho and Benoit fire each other up with Jericho saying he wants the best from Benoit.

We get a Wrestlemania XXI promo, featuring Eugene as Forrest Gump. This was edited off of the Royal Rumble on the Network for some reason.

HHH seems worried when Ric Flair comes in. Maybe HHH wants to face Batista at Wrestlemania too much. Long has offered Batista a lot of money so why should HHH hold him back? If Batista won the WWE Title, they would run the entire industry.

Here’s Bischoff to announce that Raw is coming from Japan next week. Therefore, he has three special matches to announce: Benoit vs. Jericho in a submission match, William Regal/Tajiri vs. La Resistance for the Tag Team Titles and HHH vs. Edge for the World Title.

Randy Orton/Shawn Michaels vs. HHH/Ric Flair

Batista is here with Evolution. Orton slaps Flair in the face to start so Flair comes back with chops in the corner. It’s quickly off to Shawn vs. HHH with Flair’s distraction not working very well as Shawn hammers away in the corner. That means an atomic drop but Shawn is fine enough to shove HHH off the top. An elbow (into the “controversial” heart of HHH) connects and everything breaks down with Batista grabbing a chair and beating on the steps with it. That’s enough for an ejection but the Batista sneakily smiles as we go to a break.

Back with Flair and Shawn trading chops in the corner until the Flair Flop gives Shawn two. A cheap shot from HHH puts Shawn back in trouble and the spinebuster gets two. Flair’s choking in the corner gives HHH the same and the abdominal stretch goes on. Shawn gets out and slams Flair off the top though and the hot tag brings Orton in to clean house.

Flair dives at Orton to save HHH and the referee gets bumped. That means an RKO to Flair but Orton seems to be concussed again, just as he was last night. HHH loads up the Pedigree but eats the superkick, only to have Edge come in for a spear….which hits HHH by mistake. Orton slowly crawls over and pins HHH.

Rating: C. There’s something amazing about how HHH is willing to let Orton have a pin after cutting his title run off at the knees a few months ago. Orton shouldn’t have won last night of course, but my goodness this comes off as funny in a way. They even set up next week’s title match a little bit more in the process. Not bad here and at least it didn’t feel like filler.

We look back at Kane and Snitsky flying off the stage earlier this month.

Kane vs. Gene Snitsky

In a cage and Snitsky gets a jobber entrance. They’re both still taped up from the aforementioned fall and both block a trip into the cage. A double shoulder gives us a double knockdown but it’s Snitsky up first to ram Kane back first into the cage. It’s way too early to get out though so Snitsky punches Kane down again. Cue Trish Stratus in a neck brace as Kane pulls Snitsky off the ropes.

Kane gets halfway out of the door but gets pulled back in as well. This time it’s a gordbuster to plant Snitsky with Kane going down as well. Snitsky goes face first into the cage and there’s the top rope clothesline to drop him again. Trish tries to slam the door on Kane’s head but Kane is smart enough (duh) to see it coming and drags Trish inside.

Snitsky grazes him with a big boot for the save and a two count though, allowing Trish to get out. That’s not enough though as Snitsky goes out to the steps but stops and rips the door off the cage. Kane kicks it into his face though and wedges it into the corner. A good crotching sets up the chokeslam to finish Snitsky, thank goodness.

Rating: D-. Normally I would say “and that has to be it for this feud” but why should I believe that’s the case? They should have been done at New Year’s Revolution if not before and yet here we are. The match was terrible with both guys having chances to win and Trish adding nothing at all. This felt like a bad house show main event and I could go for more from the main event on the Raw after Royal Rumble.

Overall Rating: C-. This is one of those weird periods where everyone knows what is coming to the letter but we have to wait until we actually get there. That being said, aside from the Batista stuff, there wasn’t much to brag about on this show other than the matches mostly not overstaying their welcome. Things will get better when we reach the big moment but until then, it’s not the most thrilling time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 




Taboo Tuesday 2004 (2019 Redo): Refresh And Try Again

IMG Credit: WWE

Taboo Tuesday 2004
Date: October 19, 2004
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is one of the more unique shows that WWE ever put together with the fans getting to pick the stipulations/participants/a few other things for the matches. This has presented a bit of a hard few weeks of TV as they don’t have specific matches to set up as everything has some kind of a twist included. Hopefully the finished product works a bit better. Oh and it’s on a Tuesday, which worked so well back in 1991 that they waited thirteen years to try it again. Let’s get to it.

By the way: the Bradley Center can hold about 18,000 people for wrestling. This really isn’t screaming good idea.

The opening video is about how the wrestlers have no control tonight. That works fine on paper, but when you consider how one sided some of the options are, it doesn’t hold up as well.

The set is rather cool with the stage looking like a keyboard. I miss these unique sets and you almost never get them anymore.

Coach is our emcee for the voting and we get to the important part first: the outfits for the women’s battle royal:

School Girls – 53%

French Maids – 30%

Nurses – 17%

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. ???

Jericho is defending and we see all of the options in the back, with some of them being laughable at best. Here are the results:

Shelton Benjamin – 37%

Batista – 20%

Jonathan Coachman – 7%

Christian – 7%

Rhyno – 6%

Maven – 4%

William Regal – 4%

Hurricane – 4%

Tyson Tomko – 2%

Tajiri – 2%

Steven Richards – 2%

Val Venis – 2%

Rosey – 1%

Chuck Palumbo – 1%

Rodney Mack – 1%

There were three realistic options and two of them finished first and second (Christian being that low is a bit of a surprise but maybe fans were just sick of seeing that match). Jericho armdrags him down to start but gets armdragged right into an armbar. Some loud chops in the corner get Jericho out of trouble so Shelton backdrops him to the floor instead.

Back in and Jericho is fine enough to get two off the running enziguri, followed by a suplex into the arrogant cover gets the same. A backbreaker has Benjamin’s back bent over Jericho’s knee as the fans aren’t sure what to do here. Jericho gets caught going up and it’s a top rope superplex to get us right back to even.

The Dragon Whip gets two but Jericho scores with the running bulldog. The Lionsault misses and Shelton gets up for the top rope clothesline in another near fall. Shelton misses the Stinger Splash and a very long Lionsault connects for a delayed two. Back up and Jericho comes off the middle rope but dives right into the exploder suplex to give Benjamin the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. It took some time to get going but the last part worked well enough. Shelton needed to win something months ago so this is pretty overdue but at least they finally pulled the trigger and put him over completely clean. Jericho was really just keeping the title warm for someone anyway and it gives the fans something to cheer for early on. Also, it’s about time that they push someone to a title like this so hopefully it works out for him.

Post match Jericho takes the title, hands it back to him, and raises Shelton’s hand.

Edge says he should get the World Title match because he won the triple threat last night.

Chris Benoit promises to make HHH tap. Vote for him if you’re sick of Evolution and HHH running Raw.

Shawn Michaels says he isn’t asking for sympathy and he’s legitimately injured with a torn meniscus. Whatever is left in his knee, he’ll leave out in the ring.

And none of these speeches matter because here are the results:

Shawn Michaels – 39%

Edge – 33%

Chris Benoit – 28%

At least none of them got destroyed. That means Edge and Benoit will get a Tag Team Title shot tonight instead. Edge walks off in disgust as Benoit shakes Shawn’s hand.

Women’s Title: Battle Royal

Trish Stratus, Victoria, Gail Kim, Molly Holly, Nidia, Stacy Keibler, Jazz

Trish is defending, they’re all schoolgirls and you can be eliminated by going through the ropes. Everyone gets their own entrance to show off a bit, sending Lawler through the roof when Stacy comes out. I mean to be fair, she’s kind of made for this match. They brawl in near slow motion to start with Jazz beating everyone up and Nidia losing her top as she gets thrown out.

Victoria baseball slides Jazz out and blocks a hurricanrana to get rid of Gail to get us down to four. Stacy does her kicks and leg choke in the corner on Trish as creepy fans take pictures of the skirts flying up. A double suplex sends Stacy and Victoria to the apron but they get back in without much trouble. Victoria gets catapulted out and the fans start cheering for Stacy. The double teaming begins until Stacy kicks them both in the face and sends Trish to the apron. That’s not enough for an elimination and Molly gets rid of Stacy, only to get dumped by Trish to retain the title.

Rating: D. We’ll call this one “well what else were you expecting”. The wrestling wasn’t the point here and that’s not a bad thing for a match like this. I was worried they would go insane and make Stacy champion but thankfully common sense held strong. The girls looked great but that’s about all this had going for it, which is kind of the most important thing.

La Resistance doesn’t like the idea of just finding out who they’re facing and it’s another example of the unfair American voting system. They’re wrestling this match under protest. Todd Grisham actually remembers his history and brings up La Resistance taking the titles from Edge and Benoit in the first place.

We recap Kane vs. Gene Snitsky. Lita slept with Kane to save Matt Hardy and got pregnant as a result. Snitsky debuted and knocks Kane into Lita, causing her to lose the baby. Kane was distraught and is swearing revenge tonight where the fans get to choose the weapon. The most interesting thing here is Snitsky turning into the best built up monster heel in years as he actually did something evil and had some good insults after. Now as long as he wins here, they might have something.

Kane vs. Snitsky

They need a legal weapon, so here are the results:

Chain – 41%

Chair – 30%

Lead Pipe – 29%

Kind of weird as the chair and pipe have been used while the chain hasn’t been a factor at all. Lita actually comes out with Kane as the slow face turn continues. They get in an early tug of war over the chain, which Kane throws outside. Right hands in the corner have Snitsky in early trouble and the threat of a chokeslam sends him outside. Now we can have the chain but Snitsky takes it away, only to get caught with an uppercut.

Snitsky uses the chain to pull Kane into the post and it’s time to choke with the chain inside. Kane’s comeback is cut off with elbows and clotheslines. Some whips with the chain set up a choke, which just seems to annoy Kane more than anything else. Back up and Kane slugs away with a big boot giving us a double knockdown.

Snitsky is up first and goes for the chain but Lita takes it away. The chokeslam is broken up with right hands so Kane sends him over the top. A dropkick to the steps sends them into Kane’s knees and there’s a chair to his throat. Choking with the chair keeps Kane down and Snitsky actually Pillmanizes his throat. Kane is bleeding from the mouth but Snitsky, being a good monster, covers him anyway before the medics can come in to help.

Rating: D+. The wrestling was your usual garbage brawling but the point here is how awesome Snitsky is getting over as a monster. I know he has a very firm ceiling above him, but it’s nice to see them actually getting someone over. Raw has needed fresh blood for a long time now and Snitsky is certainly better than nothing.

The medics take their time helping Kane as Lita actually looks concerned. Snitsky continues being awesome by turning the stretcher over on the stage.

Edge is furious over not getting the title shot over a broken down has been. He cares about the Tag Team Titles (he’s held them ten times) but they’re a consolation prize and that’s not good enough for him.

Coach goes over the stipulations for Eric Bischoff vs. Eugene, but we won’t hear the results until after it’s done.

Eric Bischoff vs. Eugene

Bischoff is in his karate gear and Eugene plays with the hair clippers, the dress and the butler mannequin. Eric is smart enough to jump him from behind and kicks away but a ram into the corner wakes Eugene up. A fake knee injury lets Bischoff try a kick to the head, which just earns him some punches to his own head. The jacket comes off and Bischoff gets caught in a very long airplane spin. A big boot and the legdrop finishes Bischoff in a hurry.

Coach reluctantly shows us the results:

Loser wears a dress – 21%

Coach knows this isn’t good and appeals to the fans to change their minds. He’s going to use his authority and change the decision to Bischoff being Eugene’s servant for five minutes. Actually hang on as here’s Vince to disagree. He heard what the fans said and they’re in charge on Taboo Tuesday. Bischoff tries to leave so Vince threatens to fire him. Eugene gets to do the shaving and that’s almost too much for Bischoff, with Coach talking him back into the chair. The cutting begins with Bischoff screaming that he’ll never forgive Eugene for this in a nice bonus.

Coach tries to leave but Vince isn’t happy with what he tried to pull. Therefore, he better take off his clothes because he’s wearing this dress. Vince makes sure that Coach button up because he doesn’t want a “s***”. The haircut continues and the gray roots come out, sending Vince into hysterics that Bischoff dyes his hair. Vince wraps it up as this took WAY longer than it needed to, though Vince’s antics and funny lines made it a lot more bearable.

Shawn is getting his knee taped up when Edge comes in to rant about how unfair this is. Michaels should have dropped out of this because Edge would have won. He’s nailing these angry promos so far.

Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. Edge/Chris Benoit

La Resistance is defending in a likely unintentional rematch. Grenier sings O Canada in French and the patriotic Edge and Benoit don’t interrupt. Edge pounds away at Conway in the corner to start and brings Benoit in to work on the chest. The first suplex is enough to bring Edge back in but this time Conway sends him into the corner. The champs take over with an assortment of forearms and choking until Edge knocks Conway off.

Hang on though as Edge needs to go outside and yell at fans as his frustrations continue. Another suplex gives Benoit two and it’s time for the chops. Edge knocks Conway off the apron and everyone winds up on the floor with Edge winding up back in trouble. We hit the chinlock back inside, followed by Conway stomping away. Grenier waves the flag as the announcers talk about Milwaukee culture because this match is really boring.

A big boot finally gets Edge out of trouble and it’s back to Benoit for more chopping as the energy just isn’t here. Grenier wastes no time in sending Benoit chest first into the buckle as the villains take over again. Benoit gets out of trouble with a release German suplex but we get the missed tag to keep Edge out. Actually that’s enough for Edge as he walks to the back (makes sense) to make this a handicap match.

Edge even leaves the arena as Grenier slaps on the chinlock in the ring. We even see the car pulling off as the hold continues. Benoit fights up and hits a top rope superplex on Grenier so it’s back to Conway. The Au Revoir is broken up and Conway is sent into Grenier to knock him to the floor. Some German suplexes set up the Crossface and Conway taps to make Benoit and Edge champions.

Rating: D. I’ve never liked this match as it just keeps going far too long when they could have done the same thing in about five minutes without missing much. La Resistance look like the biggest losers ever, though it’s not like they meant anything in the first place so the title change is actually a bit of a good idea. Let Edge get somewhere off the mega heel turn as La Resistance losing doesn’t exactly end some mega reign.

HHH thinks this whole thing is stupid and doesn’t buy the knee injury. He’ll make the injury real by the end of the night.

We look back at Shawn’s knee injury and how much it messed him up last night.

We recap Christy Hemme vs. Carmella because that’s something we need to do. Christy won the Diva Search and since there’s nothing else for Christy to do, we’re having a non-match here for Christy’s first win.

Coach is still in a dress as he announces the stipulations for the “match”:

Lingerie Pillow Fight – 57%

Evening Gown – 33%

Aerobics Challenge – 10%

Christy Hemme vs. Carmella

They both come out and disrobe behind somewhat see-through screens (you can see their shadows). We get quite a bit of time on the disrobing with Christy basically stripping and Carmella having to be told to get closer to the screen. For some reason Carmella gets to the ring nearly a minute before Christy as this just keeps going.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn is challenging with a bad knee and somehow, THIS MATCH doesn’t get a recap video. There’s a nine hour DVD’s worth of history between these two and it doesn’t even get a thirty second video after ten minutes of getting ready for a pillow fight? Shawn, who comes out second, takes a long time to limp down to ringside and even longer to kneel in the aisle. Just to kill more time, we get a weapons check, which is a nice thing to see for the sake of old school wrestling after the mess we just saw.

HHH slowly backs him into the corner and the referee makes him back off as JR snaps on Lawler for thinking Shawn is faking it, ranting about how Lawler needs to stop thinking about puppies and underwear all the time. Completely fair point and something that always makes me smile. Shawn tries to fight defensively but gets hit in the knee to put him in real trouble.

The slow motion beating begins with HHH punching away and hitting the knee a few times, which makes perfect sense but there’s only so much they can do under the circumstances. HHH bends the knee and we hit the Figure Four (you knew that one was coming). Shawn has to beg the referee not to stop it and, after two minutes in the hold, makes the rope for the break. The leg is pulled to the post but Shawn uses the good leg to send HHH into the post for his first major shot.

Back in and a catapult sends HHH into the post again and they’re both down. An atomic drop isn’t the brightest move so Shawn hits three of them in a row and a clothesline finally puts the champ down. Shawn gets in a low blow and a big DDT, followed by an understandably messy top rope elbow. Sweet Chin Music is loaded up and, after dealing with an interfering Batista, takes HHH down. Batista distracts the referee though and Edge comes back in to spear Shawn (Edge: “IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME! IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!”) to give HHH the retaining pin.

Rating: C. I can’t get mad at this match as they didn’t have another option. Shawn could barely walk and you can’t fault the logic. It wouldn’t have made any sense for someone as smart as HHH to work on anything but the knee so it was the only way they could go. Edge interfering at least got something out of it and Shawn tried as hard as he could on one leg. It wasn’t exciting, but they did as well as they could under the circumstances.

Post match Shawn gets the hero’s sendoff. He wouldn’t wrestle again until January.

Bischoff, now with short gray hair, yells at people in case they make fun of him. Bischoff: “I’ll fire you! I haven’t even hired you yet but I’ll fire you!”

We recap the night so far to fill in time. I’d bet Shawn vs. HHH was scheduled for WAY longer so it’s about all they can do. Aside from just having Shelton vs. Jericho go longer or something, as two of the matches didn’t even combine for four minutes. The recap eats up the better part of eight minutes.

We recap Ric Flair vs. Randy Orton. After losing the World Title, Orton started calling out Flair for being a lackey to HHH instead of a legend. Flair said that Orton wasn’t a real legend killer because he was the only real legend in wrestling. This led to Flair teasing a face turn for about an hour before attacking Orton all over again. The idea for tonight is Flair trying to be his old self one more time, which he could actually pull off. The fans want to cheer Flair at the moment though so hopefully they’re given the chance here. It feels like a filler feud before Orton can get back to HHH, but the promos have been good.

Ric Flair vs. Randy Orton

There are two real options here so here are the results:

Steel Cage – 68%

Falls Count Anywhere – 20%

Submission – 12%

Coach: “It is absolutely unanimous!” Coach doesn’t know what unanimous means. I’d have bet on falls count anywhere getting a bigger share but this was the best choice. You can win by pinfall, submission or escape. Orton wastes no time (we’ve done enough of that tonight) and starts punching so Flair chops right back. Flair takes his required backdrop but he’s up on the ropes to thumb Orton in the eye and knock him down.

There’s a low blow and a ram into the cage to draw some rather early blood. Flair drops a knee to the head as Lawler and JR compare the voting to the Presidential election. Orton sends him into the cage and hammers at the head to draw blood (well duh) and Flair’s trunks go down as he tries to climb the cage. Flair gets crotched to make it even worse but he low blows his way out of the corner. That just earns him a face rake against the cage and a dropkick to send him into the steel.

Rating: B. The blood helped a lot here as Flair tried to turn back the clock and came pretty close, but just wasn’t able to overcome the younger star. Orton got a nice win though it’s not exactly a game changer or anything. This feud wasn’t the strongest in the world to start and while the match was good, it’s not like it’s anything more than a filler feud until Orton can go for the title again.

Post match they shake hands with Flair dropping to a knee. A hug and stare end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Good opener and better main event aside, this did not work as a concept and would have been much better off as a special episode of Raw. There’s way too much down time for the results and a lot of the matches were short for the sake of pre or post match shenanigans. It’s far from the worst show they’ve ever done but it’s much more a case of an idea that works on paper but not at all in practice.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – September 13, 2004: I Deserve Cake

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 13, 2004
Location: KeyArena, Seattle, Washington
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Unforgiven and things are back to the normal levels of bleak. In this case, that’s due to HHH winning the World Title again, because Randy Orton had his four week reign and needed to be eradicated once and for all. I’m sure he’ll get some title shots going forward, but it’s pretty clear that his time has already come and gone. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Unforgiven if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Ric Flair, Batista and a bunch of women are in the ring for HHH’s title celebration. Flair introduces the new champ as the confetti falls. Great now it’s going to be all over ringside all night. There’s also a huge cake, which is clearly the kind with a person inside to jump out. HHH says you can feel the excitement in the air because the king is back on his throne. This is the happiest he’s sounded in months, which certainly does make sense for him.

All of the girls kneel in front of him, so HHH says there will be plenty of time for getting on their knees. Normally I’d make a PG joke but the Diva Search girls have made that one sound tame. HHH talks about Orton spitting on him a few weeks back, but now he’s laughing again. Then he spit in the fans’ faces and they can’t even wipe it off because he’s the World Heavyweight Champion.

The girls rip his shirt off but HHH looks at the cake, which he knows has someone inside. Flair and Batista didn’t send it, so it must have been Bischoff. An explosion goes off and of course it’s Orton to take out Evolution. So…..was there a girl in there in the first place and Orton kidnapped her? Or did he just pay off the production people? HHH gets thrown into the hole in the cake, leaving his feet kicking in the air for a funny bit. Not funny enough to validate HHH getting another long promo or another title reign or how obvious the whole thing was, but funny.

It’s so funny that we look at it again after a break. During said break, HHH got out of the cake and kept falling over from the icing.

HHH yells at Bischoff and gets Orton in a handicap match tonight.

Chris Benoit vs. Robert Conway

William Regal comes out to cancel out Sylvan Grenier. Conway jumps him to start so Benoit slides between the legs and goes with the chops. It’s way too early for the Sharpshooter as Conway bails outside for a breather. Back in and Conway snaps off a suplex to take over, meaning we hit the stomping and choking. A neck crank doesn’t last long as Benoit fights up, only to get thrown to the floor almost immediately.

Back in and Benoit hooks a quick small package for two but Conway chokes him right back down. Conway has him in trouble again as Benoit is giving Conway more than he’s ever gotten in his career. Benoit finally fights back with forearms and a snap suplex for two of his own. It’s time to crank things up and Benoit rolls some German suplexes, setting up the Crossface for the win.

Rating: C-. That’s a fine way to go with Benoit, as he made Conway look good for a little while and then won without much effort as soon as he started putting in some effort. Benoit isn’t about to lose to Conway but Conway can get a lot out of just beating on Benoit for a few minutes. Nothing great or even very good, but what we got was fine.

Shelton Benjamin is coming back.

Taboo Tuesday is coming.

Here’s Stacy Keibler for this week’s Diva Search segment, which is a Seattle Slugfest. Molly Holly (with her regular hair) comes out to interrupt instead though and says the girls can have their “sl**” fest later (that’s a major swear from Molly). For right now though, it’s time for the two of them to have a competition of their own, with Stacy getting the pick.

That would be a dance off, but Molly had eight years of ballet classes. She requests to dance to William Regal’s music and does just fine, as expected. Stacy does the kind of dance you would expect from her and seems to be declared the winner. Molly jumps her from behind, drawing in Nidia, Gail Kim, Victoria and Trish Stratus for the big brawl. Bischoff, six woman, bell.

Trish Stratus/Molly Holly/Gail Kim vs. Stacy Keibler/Nidia/Victoria

Joined in progress with the Nidia hitting Trish with a middle rope crossbody. A spinebuster cuts Nidia down for two though and some right hands keep Nidia in trouble. It’s off to Gail as the fans want Stacy, likely due to her barely existing skirt. Gail’s half crab has Nidia screaming until she makes a rope. Molly comes in as Lawler makes jokes about the Diva Search girls boxing later. A neckbreaker takes Gail down and thankfully it’s off to Victoria instead of Stacy. Victoria gets to clean house on her own until Molly ties her in the Tree of Woe. That’s enough for Stacy to tag herself in though and grab a rollup to pin Molly.

Rating: D. What were you expecting here? Stacy has no business being in there and Nidia isn’t exactly good either. That leaves four women to carry a six woman tag and it’s not the easiest thing in the world when one of the women worked most of the match. It wasn’t good, but at least it was short and that’s about as good as it gets.

Kane comes in to Bischoff and wants Shawn Michaels tonight. Bischoff can’t do that as Shawn is booked for the Highlight Reel, so Kane grabs him by the throat. Since Shawn isn’t happening tonight, Kane can fight him any other night. As for tonight, Bischoff will find someone and Kane can have a No DQ match with no questions asked.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel with Jericho talking about last night’s brutal match but it was all worth it (even the ladder suppository) to get the Intercontinental Title back. That’s a record breaking seven times, which brings him to his guest, who is a former Intercontinental Champion in his own right. This brings out Shawn, who talks about beating Kane even uglier than he was before. Jericho agrees that it was impressive, but not quite as impressive as winning the Intercontinental Title for the SEVENTH TIME.

Actually that’s why Shawn is out here, because they’re neck and neck over the years. They’ve met in Seattle before so let’s do it one more time for the title. Cue Christian and Tyson Tomko with Christian talking about how awesome his career has been. He’s so awesome that he should get the Intercontinental Title shot right now. Shawn says deal, as soon as Christian beat shim. Jericho says not so fast, because he knows what is going to happen.

Everyone knows what’s going to happen and is willing to read the front row’s minds. A lot of fans are really excited to see it but section 53 knows that Tyson Tomko is going to interfere. There’s a kid that knows the solution though: let’s have a tag match! So the kid is the reason we’re not seeing Shawn vs. Christian or Jericho? Someone throw that kid in a closet, cover him in peanut butter and let a trio of rabid squirrels loose.

Christian/Tyson Tomko vs. Shawn Michaels/Chris Jericho

Joined in progress with Shawn chopping away at Christian (with bad ribs) before handing it off to Jericho for a suplex. It’s already back to Shawn to slug away at Tomko in the corner before tripping him down for a basement dropkick. One heck of a clothesline takes Shawn’s head off (Lawler: “PROBLEM SOLVED!”) and the villains take over. JR uses a neck crank to recap the evening (not the worst idea in the world), followed by Christian coming in to stomp away.

A flying forearm gets Shawn out of trouble though and it’s back to Jericho so the pace can pick up. The springboard dropkick puts Tomko on the floor with Christian following him, setting up the big stereo dives. We take a break (allowing me to drool over the idea Shawn and Jericho as a full time team) and come back with Jericho in trouble as Christian slaps on a chinlock with a knee in the back.

Christian’s backbreaker gets two and Tomko pulls on the ribs again. Jericho finally avoids a charge from Christian and the hot tag brings in Shawn to clean house. The top rope elbow hits Tomko but Christian crotches Shawn against the post for a save. Jericho cuts Christian off and it’s Sweet Chin Music to finish Tomko.

Rating: D+. That’s a “well that happened” if I’ve ever seen one. The more talented team won and it’s not like there was anything important happening here. You can’t tease a Shawn vs. Jericho or Shawn vs. Christian match and then go with this lame tag match, but for some reason that’s as good as we can get. Not a terrible match, but quite the downgrade.

Post match Christian gives Shawn the Unprettier on the floor.

Simon Dean, a fitness guru with his own Simon System of weight loss products, is looking forward to helping us lose weight. This is set up like an old commercial for a product, complete with a phone number and payment plan, which gives me some nice flashbacks to the old WCW days.

It’s Diva Search time with Coach hosting. The three come out with JR having to handle the mini bios, making him sound like a very sad man indeed. Joy is eliminated so Christy and Carmella put on the huge boxing gloves. Thankfully Vince McMahon comes out to interrupt and talk about next week being the season premiere of Raw.

Christy hits him low and chokes him down before biting him on the back of the pants. Carmella goes more traditional with rights to the face, one of which knocks Coach down. That means Christy wins, because duh. The winner of the whole thing is announced next week, thank goodness.

Eugene has a very separated shoulder after last week’s attack from HHH.

Kane vs. Gene Snitsky

No DQ. Kane clotheslines him down to start and hits a big boot to the side of the head as Lawler makes fun of JR for not knowing Snitsky. A raised boot in the corner slows Kane down and Snitsky hits those big right hands of his, which start with a big pull back and finish with a bigger follow through. It looks like he’s aiming for Kane’s stomach.

Snitsky hits him low to cut off a chokeslam attempt but Kane kicks him down again. Kane wraps the chair around Snitsky’s throat but Lita gets in and takes it off. That means an argument, allowing Snitsky to chair Kane in the back, sending him right onto Lita. That means a no contest, and likely a miscarriage.

We get the big stretcher job as Lita holds her stomach and Kane tells her that the baby is going to be ok. After a break, we get a BABY KILLER chant, which you don’t get to hear very often.

Smackdown Rebound.

Post break, Kane helps Lita into an ambulance as Stacy and Victoria look on.

Evolution vs. Randy Orton

Flair jumps Orton before the bell so Orton backdrops him down to check off the Bingo square. It’s off to HHH (Not Batista first?) to get punched in the face but Orton slides outside and pulls Batista down onto the apron. Batista comes in legally so Orton slugs away again until a spinebuster takes him down. Now HHH is willing to come in for some shots to the face but the Pedigree is countered with a slingshot, sending HHH crotch first into the buckle. The RKO is loaded up but Batista comes in with the clothesline and that’s a lame DQ.

Post match the beatdown is on until Shelton Benjamin makes his return for the save….and gets beaten down. Benoit makes the real save and Batista takes the beatdown to end the show. Wouldn’t it have been more productive to have those run-ins in reverse? Eh at least the six man should be good.

Overall Rating: D. That ending segment is a perfect compliment to the opener: Orton gets the better of HHH at the beginning and the end, but none of that really matters as HHH is still the champion. That’s not exactly something that makes me want to see where things are going, because things are going in the direction of more HHH on top with HAHA I’M STILL CHAMPION being the big closing line every week. It’s been that way for far too long now and that’s not the right way to make me want to keep watching.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Bad Blood 2004 (2018 Redo): Somewhere, That Match Is Still Going

IMG Credit: WWE

Bad Blood 2004
Date: June 13, 2004
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Attendance: 9,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for another Raw show and wouldn’t you know it, the main event is Shawn Michaels vs. HHH. This time it’s inside the Cell, with the question being how can they managed to make this match boring too. Other than that we have World Champion Chris Benoit defending the title against Kane and Shelton Benjamin challenging Randy Orton for the Intercontinental Title. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the Cell, with the far lower matches on the card getting some attention as well. You know, the title matches.

Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. Chris Benoit/Edge

La Resistance is defending and sing O Canada in French with Edge’s music cutting them off. That’s rather unfair to some people who are just trying to spread some culture. Benoit, working a double tonight, gets quite the reaction. Edge and Grenier start us off and fight over some basic holds. It’s off to Benoit for a shoulder and a clothesline to put Grenier in some trouble, including a tag back to Edge.

Conway comes in as well and gets booed out of the building. Who knew he actually had some heat with the crowd? Benoit hits a belly to back suplex but Edge gets taken into the champs’ corner and things slow back down. A back first drive into the apron gets two and Grenier puts on a chinlock with a knee in the spine. Grenier drops a legdrop to the to the back of the neck and puts on another chinlock, with the referee very loudly telling Edge SIX.

With the hold not working again, Conway grabs a suplex and hammers away at the head. The fans chant USA, which would likely be for Conway. Dang people make up your minds. Edge finally gets in a spinwheel kick but the champs knock Benoit off the apron. A double suplex is countered into a double neckbreaker though and Benoit is right back up to take the tag anyway. The house cleaning is on and Conway saves Grenier from the Sharpshooter. Edge stops himself before spearing Benoit and Grenier gets caught in the Crossface, but here’s Kane to kick Benoit in the face for the DQ.

Rating: C. This felt like a slightly bigger than average Raw match and the ending is the right call as it ties into the World Title match and gives them a way out of the title change without having Edge or Benoit take a fall. La Resistance can carry the division for a little while and Edge and Benoit have more important things to do. Not a bad job here of getting out of this and everyone getting where they need to go.

Post match it’s chokeslams all around.

Coach is ready to take care of Eugene and Eric Bischoff ensures him that William Regal won’t be at ringside. Of course Eugene is only a few feet away and this time he heard what was said. Eric explains that he’s just trying to protect him. What if Eugene tore his quad like HHH or broke his neck like Benoit? Eugene can leave right now and go home or he can wrestle. The decision involves a very enthusiastic hug.

Chris Jericho vs. Tyson Tomko

Trish Stratus is here with Tomko. Jericho has bad ribs after Tomko powerbombed him through the announcers’ table a few weeks back. Tomko will have nothing to do with Jericho being tentative to start so he hammers Jericho down in the corner. A clothesline keeps Jericho in trouble but he’s right back with a middle rope dropkick. Another dropkick puts Tomko on the floor and Jericho posts him for good measure.

Back in and the required Trish distraction lets Tomko get in a gorilla press gutbuster. At least you can’t fault the logic. The bearhug goes on for a bit until Tomko lets him go but misses a charge in the corner. Jericho rakes the eyes to get out of the gorilla press (cheater) and a chop block takes Tomko down. Trish’s second distraction breaks up the Walls (better than breaking them down) so Jericho settles for a running enziguri and the pin instead.

Rating: C-. They were really smart to keep this one short as Tomko isn’t ready to go into the deeper waters. Jericho walked him through the match just fine and while it wasn’t anything special, they had a perfectly watchable match. They had to do something to get away from Jericho vs. Christian and for a one off short match, this was fine.

We recap Shelton Benjamin vs. Randy Orton. Shelton has pinned him a few times in tag matches but Batista pinned Shelton on Raw to end his winning streak. I’m not sure what the point of that is but at least he got the wins that mattered.

Orton brags about holding the title for so long, including six months from tomorrow and the longest reign in seven years. The fans aren’t happy with this Orton takes the mic and has the cameraman follow him into the arena as he brags about his accomplishments at 24 years old. Orton says they’re looking at real greatness right now and he’s one in a million, unlike the millions of people here. He’s a living legend and the Intercontinental Champion. This brings out Shelton, who says we can have the match right now instead of later. Nice job of mixing things up a bit, which happens so infrequently around here.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Orton vs. Shelton Benjamin

Benjamin is challenging and grabs a rollup for two less than five seconds in. A dropkick puts Orton on the floor and the fans are rather happy to see him. Back in and Orton scores with some right hands but gets clotheslined right back down to the floor. Shelton sends him over the barricade and then takes it back inside for two more off a second rollup. The Stinger Splash (and a very high one at that) misses so here’s Ric Flair for some support.

The chinlock has Benjamin down so he powers up with an electric chair for the break. Orton’s over the shoulder backbreaker into a neckbreaker (always loved that one) gets two and it’s off to the chinlock. With that having served its purpose, Orton goes up but misses the high crossbody. They slug it out and get some rather solid applause until Benjamin takes over with some clotheslines. The top rope version gets two and the Dragon Whip knocks Randy silly for a very delayed cover.

Shelton hits the exploder but Flair is right there to put a foot on the ropes. What a good legendary henchman. Benjamin throws Flair inside, gives him a Stinger Splash and puts on the Figure Four. Orton comes over for the save but Shelton manages to small package him without letting go of the hold for two. That one gets me every time I see it. Shelton goes up for the high crossbody but Orton rolls through and grabs the trunks to retain.

Rating: B-. This got the time to make it work and the ending keeps Shelton looking strong while keeping the title on Orton. Shelton has come a long way in just a few months and you can tell he’s going to be around as we keep going. Orton never even hit the RKO and Shelton had him in trouble for a lot of the match. Good storytelling here and the action worked as well.

Matt Hardy and Lita are in the back where Lita is getting ready for her Women’s Title match. Security comes in and Bischoff ejects Matt from the building. Matt leaves under threats of Lita being removed from the title match.

We look up at the Cell and JR promises the match is still coming. No they didn’t cancel the main event.

Women’s Title: Gail Kim vs. Trish Stratus vs. Lita vs. Victoria

Victoria is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Everyone stares Trish to the floor to start but she pulls Lita out with her. Cue Tomko to stare Lita down as Victoria hits the dancing moonsault for two on Gail. Tomko interferes again and gets ejected, leaving Lita to hit the reverse Twist of Fate on Trish. Victoria makes a save and all four are back in. A hurricanrana drops Trish’s head on the mat, leaving Gail to put Victoria in the Black Widow.

Trish comes back in for the save and gets the taste slapped out of her mouth by Gail. Lita takes Gail down and awkwardly collides with Victoria in the corner to put all four down. Gail is up but misses a charge into the post, allowing Lita to snap her down with the DDT. Not that it matters as Trish runs in for the rollup to pin Lita for the title.

Rating: D. They were working hard and only botched a few things, which is an upgrade over some of the stuff they do most of the time. Victoria was WAY past her expiration date as champion and Trish has been the biggest name in the division for a long time now. They could only do so much with four women involved plus Tomko in less than five minutes so I can’t really complain that much about everything being rushed.

Jonathan Coachman vs. Eugene

No Regal with Eugene here. Coach is in a Michigan shirt to mock the Ohio State crowd. They shake hands to start with Coach trying to squeeze him down but getting sent to his knees instead. Coach whips him in but Eugene drops to his back and ties himself into a ball, which Coach rolls around the ring. Eventually Eugene sticks a hand out and pulls Coach down into a cover for two.

Another whip sends Eugene to the ropes so Coach drops down, with Eugene dropping right next to him. That means it’s time to ride Coach like a horse as Lawler is getting annoyed. The crisscross starts with Eugene dropping to the floor and accepting a teddy bear from a good looking blonde. Eugene brings it back in with him but gets knocked down, only to take Coach into a bodyscissors and roll him around the ring. The Junkyard Dog offense lets Eugene have some more fun and Coach bails to the floor.

This brings out a good looking woman in a swimsuit carrying a tray of cookies. Eugene goes to get some (cookies that is) but gets knocked into the plate instead. Back in and Eugene Hulks Up for an atomic drop, followed by the airplane spin. Now it’s Garrison Cade coming out to rip the head off the bear. Cade grabs Eugene but gets knocked down by Coach instead. The Rock Bottom and People’s Elbow finish Coach.

Rating: D. Well that was a lot. This could have been a straight match or without the cookie lady but instead they stretched it out and went on a lot further than they needed to. Above all else though, they went back to the comedy stuff here, which was exactly what they should have done in the first place. Longer than it needed to be, but the ending was done right.

Post match Cade and Coach take Stunners as Regal comes in to celebrate. Eugene steals his nose, but is nice enough to give it back.

We recap Chris Benoit vs. Kane. Benoit finally won the big one, then won the big rematch. Now it’s time for a title defense against anyone other than Shawn Michaels or HHH, so Kane won a battle royal to earn the shot. Kane has been more obsessed with Lita and Matt Hardy though, only seeming to remember that he had a title match on this week’s Raw.

Raw World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Kane

Benoit is defending in his second match of the night. Some very loud chops stagger Kane to start and Benoit kicks him into the corner with more aggression than you would usually see from him. Benoit goes to the middle and says bring it so Kane shoves him into the corner. A hard shoulder puts Benoit on the floor but he’s right back in with the enziguri. Kane blocks the Sharpshooter (not the Crossface JR) and uppercuts the heck out of the champ.

A big clothesline to the side of the head puts Benoit down and Kane drops him throat first across the top rope. After a neckbreaker, it’s off to a neck crank as Kane certainly has a logical path here. The comeback is cut off by an uppercut and a forearm to the neck prevents a Sharpshooter attempt. Kane sends him outside before bringing him back in for a rather hard clothesline. With Lawler asking if Kane can get a telethon tomorrow should he win the title, Benoit gets smart by going after the leg. That allows JR to get in the still wrong statement of “Kane won’t be 7ft if he’s on his back.”

The Sharpshooter is countered again but Benoit kicks his way out of a chokeslam attempt. Kane misses the big boot in the corner though and a running dropkick to the leg finally lets Benoit get the Sharpshooter. The dramatic crawl gets Kane to the rope so Benoit rolls the German suplexes instead. Kane sits up before the Swan Dive can launch so it’s back to the suplexes.

Now the Swan Dive can connect but Kane is up at the same time as Benoit. The Crossface is broken up as well and the chokeslam connects for two. Kane boots him down and heads up, only to dive into the Crossface (because Kane didn’t learn from Benoit, who was smart enough to come down when his opponent was starting to stir). The hold is broken through raw power so Benoit switches to the other arm and then goes with a rollup for the pin to retain in a smart move. Ignore the shoulder pretty clearly being off the mat.

Rating: B+. It takes something special to make Kane look energetic but Benoit pulled it off here. I love the ending of Benoit going for one thing throughout the match and then switching up when he knew the submissions weren’t going to work. That’s a very smart ending and it makes Benoit look more versatile at the same time. Really good match here with Kane looking like a monster who had more than one chance and Benoit working him way around him.

Post match Benoit says tonight, Kane learned that he’s for real. He actually looks at some of the highlights and acknowledges Kane’s power but says it took someone real to take him down.

The Cell is lowered. JR, get your ridiculous metaphors in now.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. HHH, which exists because for some reason we just can’t escape it. Shawn tried to beat him last year, then went to a draw with him at the Royal Rumble, then didn’t win at Wrestlemania, then lost at Backlash. Now you might think that all these losses and draws (read as NOT WINS) would be enough to get Shawn out of the main event but that would be crazy talk. This is the big blowoff between the two of them, because the world was begging for it.

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH

Inside the Cell and HHH has the white boots again. They stare at each other for the better part of a minute to start, meaning HHH is in epic mode tonight. Thankfully they start fighting with the slugout in the corner until HHH elbows him hard in the jaw. Shawn is right back up with more right hands but HHH sends him outside. A ram into the Cell lets Shawn take over and they head back inside as the announcers talk about how both guys want this to be final. Oh I think there are more than just the two of them.

Shawn busts out the Ted DiBiase fist drop (cool) but charges into a boot and gets thrown outside. That just earns HHH a whip into the Cell and he’s busted open. Back in again and Shawn stays on the cut but his back seems to be giving him problems. HHH is smart enough to send Shawn hard into the corner, with JR saying that HHH is one of the strongest men in the history of WWE. Did Stephanie feed him that line? Some elbows to the back set up a suplex and backbreaker for two as frustration is setting in.

It’s chair time but Shawn kicks it away and sends HHH outside. Following him isn’t the best idea in the world though as HHH rams him into the Cell and the post over and over. Back in and a side slam onto the folded chair gives HHH two so he covers several more times to no avail. A chair to the back gets the same result but Shawn is up with a hiptoss to the floor. HHH comes back in to a low blow as this is still lacking the necessary intensity.

They’re beating each other up, but it doesn’t feel nearly violent enough. An atomic drop sends HHH back to the floor and Shawn whips him into the steps, which JR says must be the cousin of the Cell. Shawn tries a piledriver on the steps (nice little callback to the first Cell match) but gets backdropped onto the floor. HHH grabs a fresh chair (because….I have no idea really) and blasts the back again. The steps come in now but Shawn hits the flying forearm and nips up.

HHH hits him with the steps anyway and that draws more blood. Well that makes it feel a little more violent. That’s not enough of a reason to lay around some more so HHH hits him a second time. Of course Michaels kicks out and more blood flows, which is made even worse as HHH takes it outside again. Shawn’s face gets raked against the Cell and the spinebuster plants him back inside. Just because we need one, HHH grabs the sleeper but gets sent into the corner.

HHH tell Shawn to counter the Pedigree into the DDT, tries the Pedigree, and gets reversed into a DDT. It’s Shawn up after the next required nap with a chair to the head to bust HHH open even worse. We haven’t had enough stuff in here yet, so let’s bring in a ladder to hit HHH in the face as well. A whip into the ladder in the corner puts HHH on the floor, this time with Shawn raking his face into the Cell. Back in and HHH gets whipped into the ladder again for two but the top rope elbow misses.

They slug it out from their knees as JR points out that this is the longest Cell match in history. Naturally they collapse, because they need a nap after being in the match so long. Back up (again) and HHH sends him shoulder first into the post, allowing him to grab a table. Shawn comes back with some slow motion punches and puts HHH on the table. The elbow off the ladder through the table gets an eventual two and they’re both down again. Sweet Chin Music is blocked by a low blow and there’s the Pedigree.

That gets two and they pull each other up in what I’m sure is some kind of symbolism, but GET ON WITH THIS ALREADY! Now Sweet Chin Music connects for another delayed two and HHH is back up with another Pedigree. No cover due to the required nap, so it’s a third Pedigree to FINALLY give HHH the pin.

Rating: C+. What’s amazing is it’s not a bad match at all. The violence is pretty good, they had a nice story with Shawn’s back (at least for the first half), and it felt like the big ending to the rivalry. The problem is you could actually cut off half of the match and still do the same thing. There is WAY too much laying around and filling in time, plus so much stuff that was just added to make the match feel big (the ladder and the table are good places to start). The length is the problem here and it’s the best example I can think of for a match that is long for the sake of being long. Now never let them fight again.

Post match they’re both dead so Evolution comes to help HHH out. JR talks this up like the greatest, most brutal match of all time, even though it’s not even the most brutal Cell match in Shawn’s career. JR: “The longest running, most storied rivalry in WWE history has ended.” You know, this feud that isn’t even two years old and, if you count Elimination Chambers and triple threats, less than ten major matches against each other. Anyway Shawn gets the big heroic stand up moment to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was another good example of how these brands aren’t really able to do stand alone shows. There was a match that took up about an hour (counting entrances, video and post match) and the World Champion had to wrestle twice. The show was long enough at around two hours and fifty minutes but look at how much time they had to fill to get there.

The show itself isn’t that bad though. The title matches (save for the women) are almost all good and the Cell is fine enough, assuming you watch it at double speed or need something to put you to sleep. That Cell match drains the energy out of the show though as it’s over a third of the entire run time. There are far worse shows (last year’s Bad Blood was a disaster) but you’re better off stopping it after about an hour and forty five minutes. Now, just keep HHH and Shawn apart for good.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – May 31, 2004: Too Much Of A Fun Thing

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 31, 2004
Location: Bell Centre, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re up north this time with a show that is likely to contain at least one Montreal Screwjob reference. Bad Blood is in less than two weeks and Chris Benoit is going to be defending against Kane. At the same time though, Kane has something going on with Lita, which we might get some more details on this week. It evens out though as Benoit will be defending the Tag Team Titles with Edge against La Resistance tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Memorial Day video with Vince narrating in the proudest voice I’ve heard from him in years.

We recap HHH vs. Shawn Michaels being set up for the Cell, again as the World Title is left in the midcard scene.

Opening sequence.

Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. Chris Benoit/Edge

Benoit and Edge are defending. Lilian: “The first match on this special edition of Monday Night Raw is for the World Tag Team Titles!” That’s rather specific. The champs get a nice reaction but La Resistance gets a strong pop. Conway and Edge get things going with Edge grabbing the arm to take over and hand it off to Benoit. The champs keep taking turns chopping away in the corner until Conway gets a boot up to stop a charge.

Grenier comes in to a very nice reaction and it’s off to Edge’s arm for a bit. Even an armdrag gets a reaction as the announcers talk about Quebec being very different than anywhere else. An armbar goes on as Lawler becomes an advocate for the metric system. Edge clotheslines Grenier and makes the hot tag to Benoit, who puts the Sharpshooter on both Grenier and Conway. A save attempt earns Conway some rolling German suplexes but Benoit misses the Swan Dive.

This time it’s Edge making a save and the Crossface has Conway in trouble. Grenier makes a diving save to a big reaction (that’s still weird to see) and we take a break. Back with Grenier holding Benoit in a chinlock stomping away for bad measure. Benoit’s attempted enziguri hits Grenier’s shoulder and it’s Edge coming in to a pretty weak pop. His flying forearm and sitout gordbuster get slightly better reactions and everything breaks down. Edge spears Benoit by mistake and Au Revoir gives us new champions to an eruption.

Rating: C. There’s nothing wrong with this as Benoit and Edge were beating everyone in sight for the last few weeks and La Resistance beat them clean to a big reaction. It’s the right choice to go with it here as the fans wouldn’t have cared otherwise but it makes perfect sense to go with the title change in front of their home crowd. The match wasn’t half bad but the important part thing here is getting Benoit out of the tag scene when he has more important things to do.

The celebration heads into the crowd and is actually quite the moment.

Randy Orton doesn’t think Shelton Benjamin is in his league and couldn’t beat Orton on his best day. We see a clip of Benjamin pinning Orton last week in a tag match so Orton shouts about that being a fluke. Orton is getting awesome in this role.

William Regal is in Eric Bischoff’s office and praises him for the matches made tonight. Eugene comes in and Bischoff recaps his story so far. Bischoff is so impressed that Eugene can have another match tonight against a friend. Coach comes in but that’s not who Bischoff means. Actually Coach is going to have to apologize in public in the middle of the ring. Regal: “That’s one for the books isn’t it Eugene?” Eugene: “WWE Unscripted is a book.”

Here’s Coach in the ring for the apology but first he invites Eugene to join him. Eugene stumbles to the ring and Coach says he knows they don’t like each other. Coach insults him again before offering the handshake. That goes nowhere so Coach talks about all the friends Eugene has, like the Rock and Chris Benoit (Eugene imitates the headbutt). Even all the people here are his friends.

Post break Coach is still laughing in Bischoff’s office when Regal storms in with threats of violence. Bischoff threatens him right back with his firing and makes Eugene vs. Kane for tonight.

Victoria vs. Jazz

Non-title and Victoria is still dancing a lot. I have no issue watching Victoria dance, but it’s not exactly the kind of character you have as a long term champion. Jazz takes her down with ease and cranks on the neck. Back up and Victoria tries to drop down in front of her but gets elbowed in the back of the head for her efforts.

Some kicks in the corner are shrugged off so Victoria can hit the spinning middle rope crossbody for two of her own. Jazz is right back with an STF so Victoria has to slowly crawl to the ropes. A powerslam looks to set up the dancing moonsault but Jazz grabs a rollup with tights for two. Jazz tries a suplex but gets reversed into a suplex to give Victoria the pin.

Rating: D-. This was completely lifeless with nothing redeeming. The women’s division has died again as you have the one woman with the title and everyone else rotating in and out of title shots. There’s no story anywhere to be seen and it leaves everything and everyone feeling like a bunch of not very good filler.

Randy Orton vs. Shelton Benjamin

Non-title again and Orton has Batista in his corner. Benjamin takes him down with ease but Orton pounds away with forearms to the back. Back up and the pace quickens with Orton hitting a dropkick to stop a running Benjamin. A cheap shot from Batista lets Orton send him outside and that means the classic Orton pose, including Orton taking off the turnbuckle pad.

Before that can be used though, it’s a collision of the heads for a double knockdown with Orton being busted open just a bit. As the referee looks at Orton, Batista sends him head first into the exposed buckle. That’s only good for two and we take a break. Back with Orton holding a chinlock with an arm trap for a bonus. Shelton fights up but gets low bridged out to the floor as he just can’t get around the numbers game. This time Batista gets caught though and that’s an ejection.

Orton brings Shelton back in for a whip into the exposed buckle as Lawler is losing it over Orton bleeding. The chinlock goes on until the comeback starts with right hands and a backdrop. A powerslam gives Benjamin two with JR being perfect at making the big spots and near falls seem epic. Shelton rolls through a high crossbody for two more but Orton gets in his backbreaker for the same. Orton teases leaving and suckers Benjamin in for a right hand but walks into the exploder for the clean pin.

Rating: C. They did exactly what they were shooting for here but I’m not often a fan of having the singles match to set up the exact same match down the line. Shelton is getting a heck of a push but at some point he needs to win something that matters. The Intercontinental Title would be a great place to start, though I’d be a bit surprised if they actually took it off of Orton at the moment.

Stacy Keibler recaps the Diva Search concept and doesn’t do the division much good while explaining what a Diva does.

Here’s HHH for a chat. There won’t be a sneak attack this week because Shawn Michaels isn’t here tonight. That’s a shame too as if he was, HHH could put him away for good. Now he has to wait until Bad Blood in the match designed for the purpose of finishing this once and for all. HHH talks about how evil the Cell is and gives us a video on it, set to a cover of Time To Play The Game, which I’m pretty sure was used at Wrestlemania XVIII. Not bad. Certainly better than the nothing between Kane and Benoit.

Bad Blood rundown.

Bischoff tells Johnny Nitro to get Eugene.

Matt Hardy vs. Garrison Cade

Lita is here with Matt, who gets elbowed in the face to break up his early hammerlock. A hot shot gives Cade two and he starts in with the rights and lefts. The chinlock goes on as Lita starts playing cheerleader. It seems to work as Matt gets up and knocks Cade to the floor. That means a slingshot dive and a backdrop back inside, followed by the middle rope legdrop. The Twist of Fate finishes Cade.

Rating: D+. How weird is it to see a completely clean win in a match that isn’t a squash and only lasts a few minutes? Maybe it was expecting Kane to interrupt every few seconds but this was almost a weird one to watch. Cade has most of the tools that you need to be a perfectly acceptable wrestler, except the whole being named Garrison thing.

Smackdown Rebound.

Eugene comes in to see Bischoff, who tells him he knew what would happen with Kane earlier. It was just tough love you see, because Eugene doesn’t belong here. Eugene can prove him wrong tonight though, so he gives Bischoff a very sad hug. Bischoff just stares straight ahead, almost looking like he realizes what has to be done.

Clips of the European tour.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel but instead of Chris Jericho, it’s Trish Stratus and Tyson Tomko. Since Jericho is still injured, Trish will be hosting tonight. That means making a bunch of jokes about the French fans before we get to the highlight: Jericho being destroyed last week as Tomko put him through the announcers’ table. Trish wants to look at it again but here’s Jericho to beat up Tomko and put Trish in the Walls. Tomko makes a quick save and gorilla presses Jericho bad ribs first onto a chair. The chair is used to choke Jericho and Trish has a seat to make it even worse.

Kane stares at the camera without saying anything.

Kane vs. Eugene

Eugene ducks a few right hands to start and manages to take him down for one. That’s not cool with Kane, who blasts him with a clothesline so we can start down the expected path. A sunset flip doesn’t work either but Eugene does manage a drop toehold. Eugene’s top rope ax handle is uppercut out of the air and Kane gets three straight near falls.

Kane gets another two off a suplex and it’s time to choke. A headlock doesn’t help Eugene that much so Kane….chinlocks him. Eugene gets sent face first into the buckle to start the Hulk Up and slugs away, followed by a dropkick to put Kane on the floor. Kane throws in a chair and throws the referee down for the DQ as Eugene gets in a DDT on the chair.

Rating: F. Just a thought, but it might be a really bad idea to have the NUMBER ONE CONTENDER facing what is mostly a comedy character and not being able to pin him in a six minute match, eventually losing to him when the comedy guy lays him out at the end. Kane already has two stories going on and doesn’t need a third with less than two weeks to go before the title match. This wasn’t even that terrible of a match (it was really slow, but I’ve seen worse) but it was a really stupid way to go with Kane’s title shot, which has had almost no build so far, coming up.

Post match a furious Kane destroys Eugene but Benoit comes in before he can use the chair. The Crossface doesn’t work so Benoit grabs a chair to chase him off.

Overall Rating: C. This was far from a really bad show but you can tell that things have changed in a bad way after the last few weeks of great stuff. I don’t know if it’s Benoit turning into a glorified midcarder or WAY too much Kane and Eugene this week (you had to know it was coming as Eugene was getting over) but there was something missing here. It’s like they’ve lost the focus that was making the show work and that’s a bad sign.

Just a few weeks ago, you had Benoit and company vs. Evolution, who are the big bads around here. With Benoit shifting to Kane, it feels like he’s just being given something to do and that’s a big downgrade. Eugene is fun as a non-serious act but he was one of the big focal points here and that’s going to wear out his welcome in a hurry. The fans still like him, but that kind of an act doesn’t have a long shelf life overall and using so much of it in one night isn’t a good idea.

The problem they have isn’t likely to get better with next week as the go home show and I’m almost scared of what they’ll do after the pay per view is over. It’s still not bad and the show is more than watchable, but something is clearly missing and I think that’s going to get worse before it gets better. There’s about as much good as bad here, but the bad stuff here will make your head hurt.

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Wrestler of the Day – December 2: Hurricane

Hardcore Title: 3 Count vs. Brian Knobbs

Knobbs is challenging and has to beat all three guys. Apparently it’s a gauntlet match. 3 Count does their dancing thing and then Tony says “Wait a second. How can we do this after what we just saw?” He’s talking about Crowbar and apparently it took him three minutes to realize how distraught he was. They talk about stopping the show, and the thought occurs to me that this could somehow be a commentary on Vince not stopping the show after Owen fell last year. If that’s the case, this company deserves to die more than anything I’ve ever seen.

Anyway, Knobbs wastes some time looking for weapons before the match starts. Knobbs is all upset by Crowbar apparently. As he’s putting the weapons in one of the champions jumps off the top with a kendo stick to drill him. By gauntlet apparently they mean handicap elimination because they’re all out there at once. Knobbs cleans house and uses the Pit Stop on all three of them. Helms gets a chair shot to take over and sends Knobbs into a ladder in the corner.

Splash off said ladder gets no cover because the other two have to go up for splashes also. Karagis uses a corkscrew one and Moore’s Swanton misses. With Knobbs crawling away for weapons, 3 Count turns their back on him for a dance sequence. Helms has a chair on his face and Knobbs hits the chair with a mop to eliminate him. He had a broken nose so that’s more painful than it sounds.

It’s Table Time and after walking around for awhile, Knobbs powerbombs Karagis over the top rope through the table which more or less explodes. Helms is still around and beats on Knobbs a bit to no avail. Tony calls a chair shot a table shot because he’s not very smart. Another table is sent in while Moore is out cold. Moore manages to get a pin when Knobbs trips over something, but it’s a DUSTY FINISH due to Knobbs’ foot being on the ropes. In a freaking ow man moment, Knobbs throws a ladder over the top rope to land on Karagis who is still down. Middle rope garbage can shot gives Knobbs the title back.

Rating: D+. Somehow this might be the match of the night so far and it was a Brian Knobbs showcase match. Why in the world is this happening in the year 2000? And with a freaking Dusty Finish of all things. It was fine for a weapons match I guess, but there was never any doubt of the finish. Why in the world was this on PPV in 2000 though?

3 Count vs. Jung Dragons

This would open about 19 Thunders in a row. Tank Abbott is their Rikishi and dances with them. Ok to be fair, this was freaking hilarious. The only Dragon that is known is the masked one who would become Jamie Knoble. Three Count has one guy that meant nothing, Shannon Moore and Shane (Gregory) Helms. This is a double ladder match where the Dragons are trying to get a recording contract so 3 Count can’t record again and 3 Count is trying to get their gold record back.

You have to tag here and it’s a ladder match. They stack up a ladder in the corner and do a ton of stuff with that. Both teams hit a springboard Doomsday Device as this is a fun match but you can tell nothing is ever going to go anywhere. Noble does a HUGE dive off the ladder to the floor. Oh and Yang cut his hair and became the resident redneck on Smackdown. This isn’t bad but it’s certainly is entertaining.

And then 3 Count stops to dance. Jamie hits a nice rana and the other two hit a double splash off the ladders. Jamie gets the record but it’s not over yet. Abbott gets the record and we keep going a bit more. I’d love to hear the explanation to a record company that they lost their contract in a professional wrestling ladder match. Kaz and Helms sprint up the ladders but Abbott shoves both guys over. Karagis climbs up and gets the contract. Soon after Jamie would be unmasked and Karagis would team up to become a third team. Abbott leaves with the contract and record.

Rating: B. Solid stuff here although it made limited sense with the whole double prize thing but that’s WCW for you. These six guys would open just about every show there was without ever getting anywhere at all for it and while the matches were solid, people just got sick of seeing them. I know I did.

Little six man match from Fall Brawl 2000.

3 Count vs. Misfits in Action

The Misfits here are Sgt. AWOL (The Wall who most of you likely don’t remember) Lieutenant Loco (Chavo) and Corporal Cajun (Lash Leroux). The band has a new song here that likely could have been a decent hit if sung by a “legit” band, which is either great or scary. The idea of the Misfits was that they were guys that were thrown out of storylines by Russo so they banded together as their only way to have a chance. That works well enough.

And yes, 3 Count gets a match against someone not named the Jung Dragons. Two of the boy band members are Shannon Moore and Shane (Gregory) Helms. The third sucks. We hear about Duggan giving the flag and board to General Rection (Hugh Morrus) and will be in his corner tonight. Yeah I’m sure this isn’t going to go badly at all for Rection.

This is a pretty basic match but it’s not bad. They’re just kind of filling in time as these matches aren’t going to mean anything past tonight anyway. The idea here is that the band is scared to death of AWOL so they’re going to try to keep him out. Simple story but it works. Leroux was a lot better than he was given credit for. I might even stretch to say he was pretty good.

He hits a springboard X Factor to get the hot tag to AWOL who cleans house. Moore hits a nice flip to put Cajun down and we let the high spots loose. AWOL gets knocked through a table (his signature thing) but not before holding Moore up off the ground purely by his hair. Everything goes insane and Leroux hits Helms with what we would more or less call Cradle Shock for the pin. They get a standing ovation for it and that’s what they deserved.

Rating: B. I REALLY liked this. There was no interference, there was nothing completely insane, the effort was there and the wrestling was there. What a shock that when you put all this together, you get a good match. Worst thing is I can more or less guarantee this is the high point of the show.

Cruiserweight Title: Shane Helms vs. Chavo Guerrero

They put the wrong graphic up for the match just to show how inept they were here. Helms and Guerrero were more or less perfect in this division at this time so this should rock. Helms has his own rap song and his own dance team called the Sugar Babies. He’s Sugar Shane Helms if that clears up anything else. He also has an awesome finisher called the Vertebreaker.

They start off rather slowly with Shane being a fast paced guy and Chavo being more of a Dean Malenko style guy. Very nice technical and mat basted stuff gets us to a standoff. Shane is a heel here I think but it’s not exactly clear. Regal Stretch, which is different than the STFU, by Chavo and Helms is in trouble.

Chavo takes over and apparently he’s the heel. It’s not a good sign when about halfway through this match and I’m just getting that. Huge dive to the floor gets no reaction. I don’t get this crowd: they just don’t seem to care about anything at all and it’s rather annoying. Shane does some basic stuff to take us back to even and both guys are down. Decent match so far.

Shane keeps kicking out and the Tornado DDT is blocked. Nightmare on Helm Street, the Eye of the Hurricane later on, gets two. Top rope cross body gets two in a cool looking move. Shane did it which I left out somehow. Vertebreaker hits on Chavo to let us hear that rap song again as Shane wins the title which I think was the final title change until the WWE stuff.

Rating: C+. Entertaining match but it never clicked to get it up to that top level. This was pretty good here though although the crowd just flat out did not care. I think you can chalk this up to the company just being dead at this point though. The match was good though, but it just never really got off the ground well enough to be very good. Solid use of about 15 minutes though.

European Title: Hurricane vs. Matt Hardy

s Ivory to hit Lita in the knee with a pipe. She hits Matt as well, allowing Hurricane to hit the Eye of the Hurricane to steal the pin and the title. This was really quick.

Helms would pick the Cruiserweight Title up again and defended it at King of the Ring 2002.

Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble vs. Hurricane

This was either Noble’s first match or at least his first feud. Oh ok this is his second. Seriously, the recap is still going. It’s getting more time than the opening video. Oh and the heels unmasked him which Burchill is still trying to do. IT’S STILL GOING! I have absolutely no interest in this match at all. Hurricane was running around chokeslamming people. Nidia thinks she means something. That’s just amusing.

There’s a “she’s a crack w****” chant going as we flash back to ECW. She tries to trip Hurricane and misses. You grab the big white thing. It’s how you got a job more than likely as it certainly isn’t for your looks and talent. Oh Tuesday is the Divas Undressed thing. It was a lingerie thing that went nowhere. There were some ok looks but that’s about it. As you can tell, I’m not talking much about the match.

This division and title were just jokes and it’s good that the title isn’t coming back. Let it go people. Oh dear we begin the sex jokes about Hurricane and why Nidia dumped him. I hate those. Oh dang it they’re using sleepers. I can barely stand the thought of this match already and they’re just boring me to death. This division was just a freaking waste. Wait a minute. This is a Smackdown match. WHY ARE LAWLER AND ROSS CALLING IT???

We have acknowledged that Tazz and Cole, the SMACKDOWN ANNOUNCERS are in the building, but instead we get Ross and Lawler who have nothing to do with these guys or their show talking about the match. What in the heck is wrong with this? Hurricane and Nidia fight over his cape. Hurricane suplexes Noble over the ropes and he lands on his leg. Dang it he’s getting up so we have to keep going. The main problem here is Nidia.

She won’t freaking shut up and she’s just annoying as all goodness. Hurricane hits a swinging neckbreaker from the top rope. This match just needs to end. It’s all highspots and Nidia and only one of those things are interesting. Noble kicks out of the chokeslam which stuns the crowd. For some reason they’re into this. Hurricane crotches himself on the top and Noble powerbombs him for the title while Nidia shoves his foot off the ropes. They make out way too much after the match.

Rating: D-. And it passes for the highspots. This was just freaking pointless and of course they gave it 10 minutes. See, in WCW, this was successful because there WERE NO STORIES. It was all highspots and no stupid ugly women screaming all the time. Learn from that Vince.

Batista vs. The Hurricane

The Hurricane vs. The Rock

BUT HE JUST LOST TO THE HURRICANE! Yes he did, and almost no one remembers it, because three weeks later he was hitting three Rock Bottoms on Steve Austin to finally defeat him at Wrestlemania before facing Goldberg and moving on to Hollywood, only to come back for a huge match at Wrestlemania XX.

La Resistance vs. Hurricane/Rosey

Hurricane vs. Christian

Raw Tag Titles: La Resistance vs. Hurricane/Rosey

Jerry Lawler vs. Gregory Helms

This is more or less the same thing that they did with Hassan last year as they were just giving Helms this to get him over as a cruiserweight trying to fight heavyweight guys. Apparently Lawler said Helms sucked and he got slapped or vice versa, and I think it was the original. I love how Coach tries to act like he means something. The idea worked as I want to smack him already but then again I always do.

Helms is mostly dominating here so at least they’ve got that working right. In a funny line, Coach says he isn’t sure which chin Helms is grabbing. Helms pulls a Rock and does his own commentary in the match as this is going a bit long. Uh oh it’s strap time and here comes Lawler.

They say his fists are moving like pistons. That’s just amusing in general. Lawler shouts out piledriver and somehow Helms counters it. I wonder how he figured out what to do? And Lawler hits the middle rope punch….FOR THE PIN??? WHAT IN THE FLYING HECK WAS THAT???

Rating: F. Seriously, there is ZERO justification to put Lawler over clean here as this isn’t in Memphis. No way is this ok at all. This was a failure plain and simple. Not from a wrestling perspective but from a booking and thinking one. Helms deserves far better than this and it’s not fair to see this happen to him.

Better times would come later in the month at the 2006 Royal Rumble.

Cruiserweight Title: Gregory Helms vs. Kid Kash vs. Funaki vs. Jamie Noble vs. Nunzio vs. Paul London

Nunzio hits a slingshot to send Noble into the corner and Funaki adds a bulldog for two. We finally get to the dives with Nunzio diving on a pair of guys, allowing Noble to get two on Kash via a leg lariat. Noble dives on Helms and Nunzio on the floor and Funaki is knocked off the top onto Nunzio and Noble. London kicks Kash to the floor as well and dives on everyone not named Helms with a shooting star off the top.

Cruiserweight Title: Gregory Helms vs. Super Crazy

Helms is in the middle of his year plus title reign and this is just another title defense. Crazy is part of the Mexicools here so hes on a lawn mower because….well just because. An Arizona Diamondback is here. We get a Smokey Robinson reference for no apparent reason at all. Jackknife cover gets two for Crazy as does another rollup. La Majistrol gets two.

Crazy sends him to the floor with a clothesline and sets for a dive. Nick Patrick stops it so Crazy uses him for a springboard to dive anyway. LET THE ECW CHANTS RING!!! And never mind as a hot shot gets two for Helms as does a neckbreaker. Remember that wholethis is just a TV matchfrom the previous match? That isnt the case here. This is the very different LONG TV match.

Suplex by Crazy gets no cover as we go back to more holds on the mat. Off to the chinlock as we hear about Crazy winning a triple threat to get here. No word on opponents or anything but I guess they dont matter. Rollup gets two for Crazy as the fans are mostly deceased. Elbow misses for the champion and Crazy fights back a bit. For a guy named SUPER CRAZY hes really not that insane.

Missile dropkick gets two. Moonsault misses as does the Shining Wizard for the champion. Spinwheel kick gets two as were totally killing time here. Helms gets about his 8th neckbreaker of the match for two. Helms finally gets a snake eyes and rollup with his feet on the ropes to end this.

Rating: D+. Rather boring match here as Super Crazy becomes the Scott Steiner of the Cruiserweights. What I mean by that is he used to be good and at this point he’s doing nothing but living off past glory with the same name and one or two of the same moves that are signature things. Nothing of note here at all and a rather weak match.

And a non-title match at Great American Bash 2006.

Matt Hardy vs. Gregory Helms

Rating: C-. The first seven minutes or so were really bad but after that this got a lot better. The innovative stuff from Helms is always worth seeing. They were trying to make him seem like something more than just a Cruiserweight and it was kind of working before he broke his neck in May of next year and was out for about 15 months.

Paul Burchill vs. The Hurricane

Eye of the Hurricane is broken up though and a kick to the face gets two for Paul. Another Eye attempt is countered into a northern lights suplex for two. Hurricane hits a rana for two but Katie distracts him again and a powerslam gets two for Burchill. A suplex is reversed into the Eye of the Hurricane but it only gets two. Hurricane goes up again but gets crotched. Burchill tries to suplex him to the floor but Hurricane counters into a swinging neckbreaker off the top for the pin. It was more exciting than it sounds here.

Rating: B-. This was a pretty fun match as Burchill kept getting frustrated but he never could put Hurricane away. The neckbreaker off the top was a big enough move to end things, but it felt kind of flat as it hit and that was it instead of building to a bigger climax for the pin. Still good though.

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Wrestler of the Day – November 12: La Resistance

Time for one of those tag teams that dominated the company in a bad stretch: La Resistance.

Test/Scott Steiner vs. La Resistance

And you get to pay to see it! Test is a heel here while Steiner is all about AMERICA! La Resistance looks rather stupid but whatever. The French guys say theyre innocent in all this and that the American government promotes hatred. Ill spare you all a long political rant here. Stacy likes Steiner but Test is insanely jealous. This of course would turn into Steinerwinningher and turning heel.

Test and Dupree start us off and they slap it out while Rene dances. Resistance is Rene Dupree and Sylvan Grenier if the names are confusing you. Off to Steiner and its incredibly telling to see how far hes fallen since having the world title match at the Rumble. Steiner uses the power of AMERICA to take over. Grenier is sent to the floor but Steiner walks into a hot shot to shift the momentum.

Bone suplex and both guys are down. Off to Test again and some rooms are cleaned. Pumphandle doesnt work but the full nelson slam gets two. Steiner gets sent into the barrier and Test steals a beret.

Grenier gets two with feet on the ropes and its a double team. Steiner is back in now and here comes the pumphandle from Test. The slam hits and theres no referee. Grenier gets a dropkick which knocks Test into Stacy who is caught by Steiner. Rollup gets two for Grenier and Steiner makes a blind tag. Downward spiral gets no cover as Test accidently kicks Scotts head off. A double spinebuster beats Steiner.

Rating: D. Why in the world is this, ANOTHER TV match on PPV? This is one of those matches that went nowhere as the people didn’t care in the slightest and everyone knew it. The French guys were the tag team of note for a few years and then they just went away and no one really cared. Weak match, as expected.

The team would go after the Raw Tag Team Titles after this, including a match at Insurrextion 2003.

Raw Tag Titles: La Resistance vs. Kane/Rob Van Dam

Grenier and Dupree here. Standard anti-whatever country we’re in promo from the French dudes. Dupree and RVD start us off. Van Dam destroys both guys before bringing in Kane. Double teaming works to a degree but Renee tries his dance thing and gets punched in the face for his troubles. Big RVD chant. Ah there’s your double teaming to give the heels the advantage.

The fans shout about hating Frenchies (their words not mine) as Van Dam is in trouble. Van Dam gets an enziguri to the shoulder which if you don’t know the meaning, translates to a head kick to the arm. Kane comes in to clean a few rooms as he doesn’t do enough to classify it as house. Everything goes insane and RVD gets crotched on the top rope. Double chokeslam sets up a Five Star from RVD who is just fine apparently. Does weed give you magically healing balls or something like that? Apparently so as he was fine seconds later.

Rating: D+. Just another boring match here as they never got going. It once again felt like nothing more than a long Raw match which is never a good thing. You would think this is just a random squash but the titles changed hands at Bad Blood in 8 days. Wow this division was horrid.

Time for the American rematch at Bad Blood 2003.

Raw Tag Titles: La Resistance vs. RVD/Kane

You can more or less see the ending from here. The heels are Sylvan Grenier and Rene Dupree in case you didn’t know. To my complete lack of shock and dismay, this is nothing that couldn’t be on Raw. I mean there is nothing to note here at all. This could be at any house show or Raw but on PPV? Really? The heels are both on the floor and Van Dam dives, naturally hitting all three of them. A double flapjack ends this. It couldn’t have come faster.

Rating: D+. Again, WHY IS THIS ON PPV? That’s the problem with the whole first hour here. I could see an argument for the two title matches, but seriously, none of this has been PPV quality. The matches are ok, but that’s the problem: they’re just ok. Nothing at all here is making me want to watch this show at all and it’s never something I’m going to watch again. I just want to get to the end of this show and forget about it.

Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. La Resistance

Here are all three members (plus some partners) on Raw, September 8, 2003.

La Resistance/Rob Conway/Rodney Mack/Mark Henry vs. Dudley Boys/Hurricane/Rosey

Now we have all three defending the titles at Unforgiven 2003.

Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. La Resistance

This is a handicap elimination tables match as La Resistance have Sylvan Grenier, Rob Conway and Rene Dupree. This was supposed to be a 6 man but the heels botched a table spot on Spike on Raw where the threw him over the top and missed the table entirely other than the back of Spike’s head smacking into the table in a SICK looking spot. And we have tags in a tables match. Sure why not?

You can tell this is a long time ago as they’re only 16 time tag champions here. Sweet goodness that’s ridiculous sounding. D-Von and Grenier, who is by far the worst of the three, start us off. And now it’s Conway. Thank you for wasting our time like that. He’s an American that is a French sympathizer. We get the eternal question of why do the French love Jerry Lewis movies. That’s a great question and I’ve yet to get an answer to it.

For a tables match there is a severe lack of tables in it so far. It’s just a handicap match with the Dudleys being way ahead. The double neckbreaker hits and so does What’s Up. Still no tables. There are no disqualifications in this, yet they have to tag. I’ll never get that. Ah here we go. D-Von gets sent through so it’s only Bubba left. They’re not eliminated though. Bubba is WAY over here which is odd to an extent. There are a ton of tables here.

Bubba, from his knees, slaps the tar out of Sylvan’s chest. That sounded GREAT. He goes through the table so it’s 2-1 I guess you could say. Wait…are they eliminated? Oh does it really matter? Well there’s D-Von and the referee is fine with it so I’m thinking no. Wait it’s No DQ so it doesn’t matter if they’re eliminated or not.

Conway goes through it and in nearly the same spot he hurt Spike in, he hits HIS head on the table. FREAKING OW! It’s Bubba vs. Dupree here more or less and since it’s both Dudleys vs. him, what do you expect? Actually Rene wins for the most part and gets to set up a table. He’s 19 here but walks into 3D to give the Dudleys the belts.

Rating: D+. Well this wasn’t that bad but it could have been on Raw. Well maybe not as it actually got over ten minutes. This wasn’t anything special but it made the Dudleys look strong here which is the right idea. It’s nothing special but it’s fine for what it was supposed to be so I can’t complain that much.

Conway and Dupree had a shot at the Raw Tag Team Titles at Wrestlemania XX.

Raw Tag Titles: La Resistance vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. Booker T/Rob Van Dam

Finally some new challengers at Backlash 2004.

La Resistance vs. Hurricane/Rosey

And some better ones at Bad Blood 2004.

Raw Tag Titles: La Resistance vs. Edge/Chris Benoit

Dupree is now replaced by Rob Conway. King is wearing a purple jacket. You can tell it’s a slow night as Benoit is pulling a double shift tonight. Good night Lillian looks amazing in blue. So we have two Canadians vs. a team from French Canada. Why must we always have Canadian on Canadian violence? Edge and Sylvan start us off.

The talent and championship differences amaze me here. Benoit gets a great pop coming in. This is the rematch from when Edge and Benoit lost the titles to the French guys after beating Evolution for them. DANG Benoit could chop like there was no tomorrow. Naturally the heels take over to prevent the fans from thinking we were doing anything other than the standard tag team formula. We talk about John Glenn for no apparent reason. Oh he’s from Columbus. That makes sense at least.

They’re keeping Benoit out which makes sense as you have to let him save up strength. Edge gets an AWESOME counter to a double suplex as he lands on his feet and hits a double neckbreaker. That was freaking sweet. Benoit gets the Sharpshooter but it’s broken up at the last minute. Benoit now gets the Crossface on Grenier and holds it for about 40 seconds without the tap.

Great way to plug the move there guys. Kane comes out for the DQ though which at least makes sense here. He chokeslams Benoit and I want to break that bell guy. Kane vs. Benoit sounds really good actually. Into the stairs goes the champion as Kane leaves.

Rating: C+. I like Benoit and Edge so this worked fine for me. It also tied into the main match later on so there’s some continuity there which is always a good thing. This was a nice little refresher to set up for later in the show, but it also shows that the rosters can’t manage to do a whole show by themselves. Also, there was no way the titles were changing here so there was no drama. Still though, not bad at all.

Now for some random ones at Vengeance 2004.

Raw Tag Titles: La Resistance vs. Eugene/Ric Flair

Take a guess as to who the champions are here. On a random note, Lillian in Go-Go Boots is AWESOME. Flair’s music cuts off the French national anthem to a huge cheer. The look on Flair’s face when he looks at Eugene is hilarious. Eugene and Conway start us off and the Kentucky guy struts. These two were a team in OVW called the Lords of the Ring who won like 10 tag titles there. He starts using a bunch of Flair moves resulting in the required freak out from Flair.

Flair hasn’t even been in yet. Flair finally comes in and Grenier is in trouble. He’s one of those guys that never actually did anything but had a job because he fit into a tag team. Flair for the most part probably used more basic stuff than anyone ever while making it work. I mean really, how many complex moves can you think of Flair using? He does really basic stuff but he does it so efficiently that he makes himself look great while at the same time making others look great. That’s a very rare quality.

The figure four goes on but Conway makes the save. Flair is RIDICULOUSLY popular here. For some reason this is getting some time. It says a lot when a guy like Flair, a member of the top heel stable, is getting cheered this much. There’s a massive row of signs that spell out WOO in the crowd. There are a lot more o’s in there though which I’d guess you figured out.

Why is it that you never see guys use the front facelock in singles matches but you see it all the time in tags? Without a tag, Flair gets hit by Au Revoir (the champions’ finisher) but Eugene Eugenes Up and beats the tar out of them. And then he knocks the referee down for the CHEAP DQ. Eugene hits a Stunner and Rock Bottom on them after the match.

Rating: C. I don’t think anyone was really expecting much here or a title change and that’s about what they got. This was by no means bad but it’s nothing great at all. Flair and Eugene were part of a far more important angle that would culminate with HHH beating up a slow man on PPV. Still though, not awful at all but nothing special either

And now against a makeshift team at Unforgiven 2004.

Raw Tag Titles: La Resistance vs. Tajiri/Rhyno

Conway/Grenier here. Conway vs. Tajiri starts us off and Tajiri speeds around a lot to take over. Off to Grenier who hits the floor to avoid a Gore. Tajiri comes back in and takes over with a semi-botched tornado DDT. Conway beats on Tajiri and the fans just do not care. Off to a reverse chinlock as the fans chant USA for a Japanese comeback. Rhyno comes in and beats on both French dudes a bit.

Raw Tag Titles: Chris Benoit/Edge vs. La Resistance

This is Conway and Grenier for you La Resistance fan out there. Grenier sings the Canadian national anthem in French to waste a ton of time. Benoit’s music finally kicks on to break up the “singing”. This is right around the time of Edge’s real heel turn and he was really getting good at it. He jumps Conway to start and there is no combination that the champions could use to have an advantage here.

I love that snap suplex from Benoit. That’s always so awesome looking. The crowd is, amazingly enough, dead for the most part here. Edge goes out in front of the barrier to argue with some fan that must have said something evil. I think he might not like Edge but I’m not entirely sure.

This crowd is DEAD. They aren’t moving at all and are barely making any noise at all. It’s like they’re working in front of a ghost town. Benoit has barely been in there at all but unless they pop like crazy for him, this match can more or less be considered a failure in the crowd’s eyes. Benoit comes in to about as great of a roar as the opposing team’s mascot would get.

King thinks the most important thing to the champions is to retain their titles. You can’t buy experience and analysis like that people! A depressing let’s go Benoit chant starts up and dies even faster. The referee doesn’t see the tag to Edge so it isn’t allowed. I love classic things like that. And there goes Edge as he leaves Benoit alone. Well alone with three other guys that is.

In the back Edge gets his bag and leaves. Back in the arena, Benoit hits a top rope suplex but can’t cover. Benoit reverses their finisher (Au Revoir) and shoves Grenier to the floor before locking in the Crossface on Conway for the tap out and the titles. Why look at this: champions that aren’t a real team that hate each other. NEW IDEAS RULE!

Rating: D+. This was like 17 minutes long and NOTHING happened. This was supposed to be big because of Benoit doing it on his own but when he’s on his own for like 3 minutes and the champions dominate for the rest of the time, it’s not a good match but rather just boring as all goodness. This wasn’t good at all.

Back to TV with this match on Raw, November 1, 2004.

Raw Tag Titles: La Resistance vs. Chris Benoit/Edge

From Japan on Raw, February 7, 2005.

Raw Tag Titles: William Regal/Tajiri vs. La Resistance

Gee I wonder whats going to happen here. Conway and Grenier here. The place ERUPTS for Tajiri who is all fired up here. Regal and Eugene were champions but Eugene is injured so Regal picked Tajiri as his new partner. Massive Tajiri chant starts up so Regal starts off with Conway. Regal Stretch goes on but its off to Tajiri who adds the low dropkick as the offense is on.

Regal plays Ricky Morton for a bit here despite getting some shots in to try to break the momentum. The fans chant something but its in Japanese. Grenier punches Tajiri so when Regal takes him down theres no one to tag. STF is broken up quickly and theres the hot tag to Tajiri who cleans house. Let the kicks begin! Enziguri hits Grenier for two as everything breaks down. Double handspring elbow takes out the French dudes and its Tarantula time. Regal takes Conway down and theres the Green Mist and a Buzzsaw kick gives us new champions.

Rating: C+. The match totally doesn’t matter and is rated too high, but this is about giving the fans something to erupt for and that’s exactly what they did here. Tajiri and Regal would hold the belts about three months so this wasn’t just a fluke title reign. No problem at all with this and while it’s not great or anything, it was perfectly done as it made Tajiri look like a star.

Rockers vs. La Resistance

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