Survivor Series 2007 (2022 Redo): A Little Top Heavy

Survivor Series 2007
Date: November 18, 2007
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Tazz, Joey Styles

It is pretty rare when you have a true one match card but that is what we have here, as Batista is defending the Smackdown World Title against the Undertaker inside the Cell. There might be a few other things going on here, but that has been treated as the be all and end all of the show, as it should be. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the history of the Survivor Series before we move on to this year’s preview.

ECW World Title: Miz vs. John Morrison vs. CM Punk

Punk is defending and for the sake of sanity, I’ll only refer to him as champion. It’s a brawl to start with Punk getting double teamed down into the corner. Morrison catapults Punk into the corner but he comes out with a middle rope crossbody. Punk knocks Miz to the floor but the springboard clothesline is broken up to put Punk down again. Miz breaks up Punk’s springboard with a shot to the floor though and it’s a camel clutch to Punk.

That means Morrison comes in for the save, setting up a backbreaker into a neckbreaker to drop Punk again. A suplex from the apron gets two on Miz but he is right back with a running corner clothesline. Punk is back in with a hurricanrana to send Morrison into Miz for a powerbomb and a near fall. The running knee in the corner sets up the corner bulldog to give Punk two on Miz and a double underhook backbreaker onto the knee gets the same. Morrison is back up to go after Miz, only to be sent outside. That leaves Punk to GTS Miz and retain.

Rating: C+. Miz and Morrison’s rise continues as the two of them have become rather dependable on ECW, and now elsewhere. It makes sense to give them the Tag Team Titles and now we should be seeing even more of them. This was a good way to get the show going as Punk has to work to retain and Miz and Morrison have come far enough that they didn’t seem like cannon fodder.

We look at MVP turning on Matt Hardy, costing the two of them the Tag Team Titles.

MVP says Matt will not be wrestling tonight because he can’t walk. He is tired of being Matt’s latest crutch and he is better than any of his opponents tonight.

Beth Phoenix/Melina/Jillian Hall/Layla/Victoria vs. Kelly Kelly/Michelle McCool/Mickie James/Maria/Torrie Wilson

One fall to a finish rather than elimination rules. Michelle suplexes Victoria to start and then kicks her in the face for two. Torrie comes in and gets swung into the side slam, only to come back with a suplex. It’s off to Jillian vs. Kelly, with the latter grabbing a rollup for two of her own. Phoenix comes in and plants Maria but a missed charge allows the hot tag to James to clean house. Everything breaks down and Mickie hits the Long Kiss Goodnight to finish Melina.

Rating: D+. What else were you expecting here? It was a bunch of the good women vs. the bad women and there is only so much you’re going to get from a match like that. They didn’t have time to do anything and given some of the skill levels of the women involved, that is not a bad idea. The positive sign is that the women are making progress, but a lot of them still aren’t ready to be in a match like this. Leave this thing to Raw.

William Regal and Coach are ready to see Hornswoggle get crushed by Great Khali.

Randy Orton is ready to disappoint everyone and break the Heart Break Kid.

Shawn Michaels wants revenge. And the title.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes

Holly and Rhodes are challenging. Rhodes and Cade start things off with Cade grabbing a hiptoss for some early celebrating. A sunset flip gives Cody one and the headlock goes on. That just earns Cody a backbreaker to cut him off so it’s off to Murdoch for a change. Cody takes him into the corner and it’s Holly coming in to forearm away. The hanging kick to the low abdomen has Cade in trouble and the champs need a breather on the floor.

Back in and it’s an atomic drop into a running boot to Holly’s face as Murdoch takes over again. Cade atomic drops Murdoch into a legdrop on Cody for two more and we’re off to the chinlock. Holly suplexes his way out of trouble but Cade is right there with a clothesline. The second atomic drop/legdrop misses though and it’s Cody coming in to very little reaction to clean house. Everything breaks down and Murdoch Code Reds Cody to retain.

Rating: C-. This would have been fine on any given Raw, meaning it was a pretty disappointing pay per view match. Cade and Murdoch are fine as champions and Rhodes and Holly are getting there as a veteran/rookie team, but they aren’t ready for this kind of a match on pay per view. It was far from bad, but this match was sent out there to die and I think WWE knew that was going to happen.

Team HHH, which is down a man due to Matt Hardy’s knee injury, is ready for Team Umaga. Rey Mysterio talks about being an underdog, but that has never been Kane’s thing. Kane brings up the Katie Vick incident (and goes into details). Then Jeff Hardy reminds HHH of the time he put Jeff in the hospital. HHH: “Uh, my bad.” HHH says this is the night when they can come together and do something terrible, so let’s go do it.

Team Umaga vs. Team HHH

Umaga, Mr. Kennedy, Finlay, Big Daddy V, MVP
HHH, Jeff Hardy, Kane, Rey Mysterio

Matt Striker is here with Big Daddy V. Rey and Kennedy get things going and it’s an early exchange of arm cranking. A running headscissors takes Kennedy down and a Code Red gives Rey two (so based on the previous match, Trevor Murdoch is better at Code Redding than Rey Mysterio). Hardy comes in and gets blasted by Kennedy so MVP comes in for a front facelock.

It’s off to V and the big beatdown ensues, only to have Hardy dive over for the tag to Kane. V belly to belly suplexes him down but Kane is right back up with a top rope clothesline. That doesn’t seem to bother V though as he hits a pair of drops (Samoan and elbow) for the elimination. HHH comes in to slug away on V but a clothesline puts him straight down. Umaga comes in with a belly to belly of his own but misses the middle rope headbutt.

That means Rey can come back in and the basement dropkick gets a quick two. The 619 into the springboard seated senton for two more but the springboard crossbody is countered into a wicked release Rock Bottom. The Samoan Spike gets rid of Rey and it’s 5-2. Kennedy tags himself in for some reason and misses a charge into the corner. Hardy misses the slingshot dropkick in the corner though and it’s MVP coming in with a chinlock. MVP misses a running kick though and the Twist of Fate gives Hardy a fast elimination.

HHH comes back in for a clothesline on Kennedy and the spinebuster follows. V comes in for the save but elbows Kennedy by mistake, allowing HHH to steal the pin. That doesn’t work for V, who pulls HHH outside and posts Hardy for a bonus. Back in and a double DDT plants V and HHH evens it up at 2-2.

Finlay starts dropping elbows on HHH before dropping some elbows on HHH. Back up and HHH makes it over for the tag without much effort and Hardy comes in with the slingshot dropkick in the corner. The Whisper in the Wind hit Finlay and the mule kick hits Umaga, allowing HHH to come back in. There’s the spinebuster to Finlay and the Pedigree leaves us with HHH/Hardy vs. Umaga. HHH avoids the running hip attack in the corner and it’s the Pedigree into the Swanton for the final pin.

Rating: B-. Not one of the all time classic Survivor Series matches but they set up HHH and Hardy as a pair of buzzsaws to run through the rest of the team. The HHH vs. Umaga feud has been pretty much decided multiple times now so the ending wasn’t exactly in doubt. This was more or less the Raw main event and it could have been worse, but I could have gone for a lot better for the one elimination match on the show.

We get a preview of Batista vs. Undertaker with a look at their Cell match in Smackdown vs. Raw 2008. Why Batista is wearing a Tag Team Title to the ring isn’t clear.

Vince McMahon sits down with Hornswoggle to explain why he made the match with Great Khali for tonight. Some people think that it is because Vince hates him, but it is really because he wants Hornswoggle to rise up like the McMahons do. Vince has been an underdog against Time Warner and the US government and he won. Now go win against Great Khali.

Great Khali vs. Hornswoggle

Shane McMahon comes out to introduce Vince McMahon and then Hornswoggle for some family flavor. We even get an old school explanation of the rules as the fans want Shaquille O’Neal (in the front row) to help Hornswoggle, but Vince grabs the mic and says he doesn’t care what the fans want. Hornswoggle kicks the knee and then dropkicks Runjin Singh through the ropes. The green mist sets up some right hands but Khali chases Hornswoggle off. The distraction lets Hornswoggle grab the shillelagh but Vince takes it away. Khali loads up the Vice Grip, only to have Finlay come in for the DQ.

Rating: D. What is there to say about something like this? The match was a segment instead of anything competitive and that is all it was ever going to be. At the end of the day, the Hornswoggle/Vince story has run out of steam and adding Finlay into the mix isn’t likely to make things that much better. Maybe they can shift things around, but Vince needs to be on to something else.

Post match Finlay destroys Khali with the shillelagh and a low blow, allowing Hornswoggle to escape.

Wrestlemania XXIV is in Orlando.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels for the Raw World Title. Michaels came back in September and went after Orton, who had put him on the shelf. Orton kept getting superkicked but got disqualified last month. Now Michaels wants revenge but can’t use the superkick. If he does, the match is instantly over, but if Orton tries to get disqualified, he loses the title.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels is challenging and we even get a weapons check. Feeling out process with Michaels grabbing a cravate of all things to start. Orton can’t even slam his way out of the cravate but he can drive Shawn into the corner for some right hands. Michaels is right back with a choke on the back before switching to a front facelock as you can feel the anger and hatred here.

Back up and Orton is sent outside, with Shawn hitting an Asai moonsault to take him down. They get back inside with Shawn grabbing a…..wait for it…..Sharpshooter. Orton makes the rope and gets in a poke to the eye, setting up the hanging DDT for two. Shawn fights up and slugs it out, setting up the forearm. More right hands have Orton in trouble but he’s right back with a dropkick for two.

Some slams give Michaels a breather and the top rope elbow looks to set up Sweet Chin Music. That’s a head fake though and they trade some rollups for two each. Michaels grabs a Crossface instead but Orton gets a foot on the rope. The backbreaker cuts Michaels off again but he counters the Punt into an ankle lock of all things. The grapevine goes on in the middle, only to have Orton kick his way to freedom. Michaels’ Figure Four attempt is countered with a kick into the post so he teases the superkick but gets RKOed to retain Orton’s title.

Rating: B. Pretty good here, but the amount of stipulations they had going on made it a little difficult to believe that they were going to change the title here. Shawn not using the superkick at the end looked a bit awkward though and the ending only worked so well. They had a good match otherwise though, which has to be expected when it’s Shawn vs. Orton getting time.

Post match Orton talks trash to Shawn and gets superkicked.

SAVE US!

The Cell is lowered.

We recap Batista vs. Undertaker for Batista’s Smackdown World Title. They’ve fought several times this year and Batista finally beat him for the first time last month. Now it’s the big final showdown inside the Cell.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

Batista is defending inside the Cell. They start fast with Batista hitting a hard clothesline but having to elbow his way out of a chokeslam attempt. Undertaker punches him into the corner and hits Snake Eyes into the running big boot. The chair is brought in but Batista spears him down. Undertaker’s clothesline gets two this time and they head outside with Undertaker hammering away.

A face rake against the Cell sets up a chair to the throat has Batista in a lot of trouble so Undertaker chairs him in the ribs for two. Old School is countered into a spinebuster (that was cool) for a delayed two and it’s time to slug it out again. Batista’s running powerslam gets two and they head outside with Undertaker getting blasted with a clothesline. Undertaker is fine enough to whip him into the steps and now a chair to the head has Batista busted open.

Old School is broken up again and Batista hits a superplex but Undertaker pulls him into the triangle choke. Since we’re in the Cell, the rope breaks the hold (erg) and they head outside again. This time Batista hits him in the face with the steps and now Undertaker is busted open too. Back in and a chokeslam gives Undertaker two but the Tombstone is countered into another spinebuster for another near fall.

It’s table time, with Batista tossing him through it for two more. The Batista Bomb onto the steps is countered into a backdrop onto the steps. Undertaker plants him with the chokeslam for two, followed by another onto the steps….and a cameraman breaks it up. That’s because the cameraman is Edge, who cameras Undertaker in the head. A Conchairto on the steps knocks Undertaker silly and Edge puts Batista (who saw nothing) on top to retain.

Rating: B+. These two beat the heck out of each other and it felt like a war, with the Edge interference being a great surprise to give them a back door out of the match. What mattered here is they kept things high impact here, which is exactly what these two do best. Let them go in there and hit all their power stuff until one of them can’t get up, which granted was due to some help in this case. You can all but guarantee the triple threat next month and that is a fresh way to go, so nicely done.

Post match, Edge takes Undertaker down again and leaves to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The main events carry the show, but there is a really big gap between the top of the card and everything else. Even the third biggest match on the show doesn’t feel that important as the whole show was built around Batista vs. Undertaker. The show was a fun enough watch, but outside of the main event, it doesn’t feel like a lot of this matters in the long run.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – August 18, 2008: Home Schooled

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 18, 2008
Location: Allstate Arena, Rosemont, Illinois
Attendance: 14,957
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with Summerslam and the big story is Batista defeated John Cena in one heck of a bragging rights match. That is the kind of match that you do not get to see very often and in theory it should make Batista the #1 contender to the Raw World Title. CM Punk dispatched JBL and is going to need a fresh challenger so let’s get to it.

Here is Summerslam if you need a recap.

Here is a rather serious looking Chris Jericho to get things going. He isn’t here to apologize for what happened to Shawn Michaels’ wife last night because the person who should be apologizing is Shawn himself. Shawn is the person who put her in danger, and here is the proof. We see a long recap of the segment, which capped off with Jericho “accidentally” hitting Shawn’s wife in the face.

Back in the arena, the fans are not exactly pleased with Jericho, who says that Shawn could have just sent in a video or something to make his big announcement. Instead he had to come to the ring and do everything in person, which is why his wife got hurt. All Shawn had to do was admit that Jericho was the reason he’s finished and now look what happened. The reality is Shawn has tarnished his reputation and that is something he is going to have to live with for the rest of his life. Jericho slowly walks out, with commentary not being sure what to make of this. Good stuff here, as Jericho was much more somber and it worked.

Batista vs. Paul Burchill

Batista is coming in with a bad knee. Burchill kicks him in the face to start and Batista actually gets knocked into the corner. A shot to the knee cuts off the comeback attempt but Batista is back with a spear. The spinebuster into the Batista Bomb finishes Burchill quick.

Mike Adamle introduces Primo Colon (Carlito’s brother) as the newest member of the Raw roster but John Cena walks past. Adamle tries to talk to him but Cena walks up to Batista, saying last night was great and the better man won. Batista thanks him for that, but Cena says that was last night. Batista: “All right.”

Kelly Kelly/Mickie James vs. Jillian Hall/Katie Lea

Jillian’s song from Chicago doesn’t make the Peacock cut. Mickie drives Jillian into the corner to start and then takes both of them down at once. Kelly comes in with a sunset flip for two as we hear about Kelly’s dating tips in an interview. Katie gets Kelly up in an electric chair so Jillian can come in to pull her down in a crash.

The reverse chinlock has Kelly in trouble and Jillian knocks her down for two. Kelly gets some knees up though and the tag brings Mickie back in for some slightly more sophisticated stuff. A neckbreaker gets two on Katie as Jillian makes the save. Mickie and Kelly hit a double dropkick on Jillian, followed by the MickieDT to finish Katie.

Rating: C+. Better than I was expecting here, which granted is mostly due to Mickie carrying things for the team. Jillian is little more than a gimmick and Katie has already peaked. At the same time you have Kelly, who is getting better but still feels like more of a long term project. Granted it’s a project with some upside so there are worse ideas.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Jamie Noble

Noble strikes away to start and hammers away in the corner, only to get caught with the fall away slam. The slow beating is on until the Clothesline From JBL puts Noble out. JBL won’t cover though and instead hits another Clothesline, followed by another clothesline, which is enough for the stoppage.

Here is Mike Adamle for some announcements. First up, tonight’s main event is CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho. Speaking of the Raw World Title, Shane and Stephanie McMahon have told him to make a new announcement: at Unforgiven, there will be a 20 minute Championship Scramble for the title. There can be multiple falls, but the last person to score one will be the official World Heavyweight Champion. Here are the participants: World Champion CM Punk, Kane, JBL, Batista and John Cena. That’s not bad. Not the concept that is, as that’s a cool idea, but rather Adamle getting through this without any major errors.

John Cena vs. Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase

Non-title. Hold on though as here is Cryme Tyme, who steal the Tag Team Titles and run off. DiBiase looks ready to start but Rhodes comes in instead and we take an early break. Back with Rhodes getting in a cheap shot out of the corner, which is enough for a chase around the ring and a tag off to DiBiase. Back in and DiBiase hammers away, setting up a double suplex for two, followed by a dropkick for the same. Rhodes knocks him to the apron and then into the barricade before it’s back to DiBiase.

Cena’s missed charge into the corner lets DiBiase grab a belly to back suplex, setting up a clothesline for two. Cena tries the comeback but DiBiase grabs the arm so Rhodes can drop him again as the numbers advantage continues. A flying shoulder misses for Cena as well as he just can’t keep anything going. DiBiase snaps off a suplex but tries a second, which Cena reverses into one of his own. That’s enough to start the real comeback, with Cena firing off the shoulders into the Shuffle on Rhodes. DiBiase gets knocked to the floor and the STF finishes Rhodes clean.

Rating: C. Yeah not a fan of the Tag Team Champions losing for the second time in three weeks, especially with Cena out there on his own. It also wasn’t a very entertaining match, as it was mostly Cena selling for over ten minutes before coming back with his usual to win. There was no other team other than the champs to take this loss?

Harley Race is here.

We look at Chris Jericho accidentally (in theory) hitting Shawn Michaels’ wife last night.

Last night, Shawn and his wife Rebecca were going to leave the arena but Shawn stopped to say he was going to come home and comfort his family, because she got punched in the face because of him. And then….and then….and I guess that sums it up.

CM Punk says what Chris Jericho did last night was reprehensible but they deal with people like him in Chicago.

Santino Marella vs. D’Lo Brown

Non-title and Beth Phoenix is here with Santino while Kofi Kingston comes out to join commentary. Santino knocks him down for an early two as Kingston wants to know who wears the pants in Glamarella. Brown fights back and hits a quick legdrop but Phoenix gets in the ring to block the Low Down. Brown: “GET TO STEPPIN! I SAID GET TO STEPPIN!” That’s enough for Phoenix to slap Brown in the face for the fast DQ.

Post match Santino goes after Kingston, who knocks him silly with a ram into the announcers’ table.

Classics On Demand: Trish Stratus b. Stacy Keibler in a bikini contest.

Here is Kane to explain why he was carrying around Rey Mysterio’s mask in a bag. He’s been carrying the bag around for a while because it put a smile on his face. Mysterio has not been around for about six weeks, because Kane has never really liked him. Kane calls Mysterio a slithering little slime that hides behind a mask and like a fungus that grows in the marshes of your psyche.

Six weeks ago, he attacked Mysterio but spared his life. Mysterio is alive, but his spirit is broken and dead. We get some evil laughter, which is enough to bring out a limping Batista. The brawl is on but Kane goes after the bag leg and hits a chokeslam to escape. Should be a good hoss fight when we get around to it.

CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho

Non-title and Jericho has Lance Cade with him. The fans are of course behind Punk and Jericho does not like that. They take their time to start until Punk strikes him down for an early two. Punk cranks on both arms but Jericho slips out, only to miss a charge into the post as we take an early break. Back with Punk getting pulled into a chinlock before Jericho bends his back over the knee. That’s broken up with a kick to the head so Jericho pulls him into an abdominal stretch.

Punk fights out again and grabs his own backbreaker for his own two, followed by the corner clothesline. The bulldog is blocked though and Jericho hits the Lionsault for two. The Walls go on but Punk reverses into a rollup for two and the escape. Jericho slips out of a GTS attempt and grabs the Walls, sending Punk crawling over to the ropes. Another GTS attempt is countered and Jericho goes up, only to get kneed in the face. The super bulldog leaves both of them down but a quick Cade distraction lets Jericho hit the Codebreaker for the win.

Rating: B-. Well of course Punk, who is already seen as an underdog champion, loses in his hometown with the least amount of interference. It’s nice that there is a little something in there to protect Punk, but this felt like WWE was trying to make him look bad in front of his friends and family (who they made clear were there). The match was pretty good, but the result felt like such annoying business as usual from WWE.

Overall Rating: B-. This was mainly about setting up the major players before the Championship Scramble, even with the champion himself losing in the end. The good thing is that covers a lot of ground and eats up a bunch of time on the show, as there wasn’t much good on the undercard. Unforgiven feels like it’s going to be a one match show, but it’s one of those matches with so much in it that the show should work out. Now just get a little something else for some insurance, as a two match card sounds even better.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – August 11, 2008: It’s Those Two

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 11, 2008
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the last Raw before Summerslam and we have new Raw Tag Team Champion as Batista and John Cena won the belts last week. Odds are their reign won’t last long but they already have a match set for Summerslam anyway. Other than that, JBL is the new #1 contender to CM Punk’s World Title so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of John Cena and Batista winning the Tag Team Titles last week, despite not being able to stand each other.

Here is Cena to get things going. Cena talks about how Mike Adamle made a match between himself and Batista at Summerslam for the first time ever. The two of them have never had an issue before, but now they are the Tag Team Champions. Earlier today, Adamle was looking for ideas for Cena and Batista, ranging from a broken glass arm wrestling match to a chili cook off but all you need is the two of them in the ring together.

Cue Batista, with Cena saying they won the titles last week, but tonight they have a rematch against Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase. They have to work together or they’ll both lose, but that isn’t happening at Summerslam. Cena has never admitted this to anyone, but he has spent six years watching Batista be groomed to be the to star and Cena never had that.

Instead, he has spent years going to war to turn critics into believers. They both have impressive resumes, but they have never answered the question of who is better. We’ll answer that question at Summerslam and it’s going to be Cena. Batista says he’s been watching Cena as well and compares their resume. He has watched Cena get booed out of the building but Cena never changed a thing.

Batista would never do some of those things, but there are a bunch of people over the age of 15 who want to see him beat Cena senseless. On Sunday, he’s going to prove he’s the better man. A rather intense handshake wraps it up. This is a match that writes itself but they’ve done a great job of making it more interesting.

Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix

Santino Marella is on commentary. Beth powers her into the corner to start but gets slapped in the face. That doesn’t go well for Kelly, who gets taken down and then faceplanted for her efforts. As Santino drops the name “Glamarella” for his relationship with Beth, Kelly slips out of a gorilla press and gets two off a rollup. Not that it matters as the Glam Slam finishes for Beth in a hurry.

Post match Santino comes in to say he wants to send a message to Mickie James and Kofi Kingston by having Beth beat Kelly up again. Kingston and James run in for the save to clear the villains out…but Santino wants to face James right now. See, he needs practice on figuring out where he can put his hands while facing a woman. Kingston says he’ll do it, but Santino says “don’t be a girl”. It turns out those are fighting words so James is in. Santino promises to put her back in the kitchen where she belongs.

Santino Marella vs. Mickie James

We’re joined in progress after a break, apparently with Santino having insulted James’ parents during the break. James’ headlock doesn’t work very well but she’s able to headscissor her way out of Santino’s version. James trips him down and rides him a bit (spanking included of course) but Santino gets in a slam. The knee drop misses but Santino distracts the referee, allowing Beth Phoenix to get in a cheap shot. Kofi Kingston protests, only for Santino to grab a rollup with tights for the pin.

Mike Adamle is talking to Todd Phillips when Kane comes in. Adamle has an idea for him tonight: a match with Chris Jericho. Works for Kane, but Adamle also wants the bag that Kane has been holding. Kane says Adamle doesn’t want to do that, but Adamle says we don’t want kids going back to school and carrying a bag like his. Kane calls this a huge mistake before leaving. Fair enough, but the mistake was made by having Adamle talk this much in the first place.

We look at a classic clip of the Valiant Brothers losing the World Tag Team Titles to Ivan Putski and Tito Santana.

Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase talk about Batista and John Cena not being a team, meaning they’ll lose the titles back tonight. They’re young, but they’re further along than any Hall Of Famer was at this point. Maybe next year they’ll be facing off in the main event of Summerslam, but the difference is they really respect each other.

Cryme Tyme vs. Highlanders

Cole calls this a very important match, showing that Cole is either a liar or a moron. Gaspard powers Rory around to start but a cheap shot lets the Highlanders take over on JTG. Rory starts in on JTG’s arm but a hammerlock is broken up. It’s back to Shad to clothesline Robbie and a delayed suplex sets up an STO for the fast pin. Cryme Tyme moving into the title picture wouldn’t be a bad idea.

Randy Orton has been involved in a motorcycle accident and is hurt all over again. And the delays continue. Maybe we can get some RNN Breaking News about him going forward though.

Here is JBL with a special challenge for CM Punk, who comes out before anything can be said. JBL goes into his usual insults about Punk, who finally cuts him off to say he’s tired of hearing the same things since he’s won this title. No he isn’t your traditional champion but he’s watched every Summerslam since he was a kid and it’s going to be a dream come true to beat JBL at that show.

Punk says that with all due respect to Batista and John Cena, this is the real main event. JBL is incensed that Punk would compare himself to stars like Cena and Batista. He asks how Punk has earned his place and calls him Cinderella. Midnight strikes on Sunday though because fairy tales aren’t real. Punk has talent, but he also has six days left as champion. JBL rolls up his sleeves (JBL: “Settle down Cinderella.”) and pulls back a sheet revealing a bottle of whiskey. He wants a drinking contest with Mr. Straightedge, which JBL finds boring.

JBL pours Punk a drink, saying he’ll have a chance to win if he takes that one drink. If Punk won’t do it, he won’t be able to win against JBL on Sunday. Punk says JBL doesn’t get it because they’re not the same person. Doing things his way has gotten Punk this far so he’ll pass on the drink. JBL says he didn’t realize Punk brought his soapbox so he’ll toast to Punk instead.

Hold on though as Punk says JBL changed his mind so he’ll do the toast. And the drink is thrown into JBL’s face, setting up the running knee in the corner. I’m not sure what the point of the drinking thing was supposed to be here, but they did a nice job of presenting the differences between them. JBL’s old school stuff is fine, but geez he makes everything he says sound so dull and it’s not helping.

We look at Shawn Michaels’ eye injury, with a decision about his career set for Summerslam.

Kane vs. Chris Jericho

Lance Cade is here with Jericho, who is ran over and dropkicked to start. Kane powers him out of the corner but misses an elbow. Not that it matters as Kane takes it outside and knocks Jericho around again before heading back inside. Cade’s distraction lets Jericho hit the triangle dropkick and he gets to hammer away a bit.

The chinlock doesn’t last long as Kane is back up again with a spinning toss (looked like the side slam to start but he just tossed Jericho instead). Kane misses a charge into the corner but it’s too early for the Walls. Now the side slam can connect, followed by the top rope clothesline…and here is Mike Adamle with a bunch of security. Kane goes over to get the bag though, allowing Jericho to hit the Codebreaker for the pin.

Rating: C+. These two often worked pretty well against each other but it was weird to see a heel vs. heel match between them. Kane losing here is a bit strange as he’s the current monster, but at least he was distracted. That being said, putting Kane in a story with Adamle doesn’t seem like the best idea. Then again, Kane has a history of being in bad stories and he tends to….well sometimes he makes them better.

Post match Adamle says he knows what Kane is talking about, because the “he” Kane has been asking about is Kane himself. Adamle knows Kane has been struggling to find those answers but Kane can lead a normal life by giving Adamle that bag. The fans need to know what is in the bag and, after comparing himself to Ronald Reagan’s “tear down this wall”, Adamle says “give me that bag”.

Kane says there is a mask in the bag and the man who wore it has been scarred and tortured beyond all human recognition. The problem is that it’s not Kane’s mask. Kane opens the bag and pulls out….Rey Mysterio’s mask. Adamle is confused, but that might just be how he normally looks.

William Regal vs. Jamie Noble

Regal pounds away to start and they’re quickly on the floor for a ram into the apron. Back in and Noble knocks him into the corner for a Cannonball. A high crossbody gives Noble two but Regal snaps off a suplex. The running knee finishes Noble quick.

Smackdown Rebound.

Summerslam rundown.

We get the results of the poll from earlier, with John Cena being named the bigger star over Batista 73%-27%. Dang that’s a squash.

Raw Tag Team Titles: John Cena/Batista vs. Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase Jr.

Rhodes and DiBiase are challenging and don’t even get an entrance. Batista insists he start but Cena slaps him from the apron to come in instead. Rhodes and DiBiase jump Cena to take over, which lasts all of a few seconds before Cena shoulders his way to freedom. Cena tells Batista that he can’t see him and we take a break. Back with DiBiase holding Cena in a chinlock, which doesn’t last long either as Cena powers up.

DiBiase misses a charge into the corner and it’s off to Batista to clean house. The spinebuster hits DiBiase but Batista stops to taunt Cena, who breaks up the Batista Bomb. A cheap shot to the knee cuts Batista off and Rhodes cranks away on the leg. Batista powers up and slaps Cena in the face for a tag, which has Cena glaring at him. The glaring Cena gets rolled up to give DiBiase the pin and the titles back.

Rating: C. The match was pretty slow paced and much like last week was much more about the story than the wrestling. That’s how something like this should have gone as there was no reason for Batista and Cena to keep the titles long term. Cena and Batista want to fight and they have nothing else to worry about, which is the way this should go.

Post match Cena and Batista are ready to fight but have to dispatch Rhodes and DiBiase again. With the villains gone, Cena teases walking out without a fight but that’s just not his nature. Security comes in, gets knocked down, and then cuts off the fight to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. In case it isn’t clear, John Cena vs. Batista is by far the best thing going on with this show. It feels big and it comes off as the most important thing you’re going to be able to see right now. The Kane stuff is more weird than anything else (but it took a good turn here), the mixed tag stuff could be worse, and the Punk vs. JBL stuff is just dull. That leaves Cena and Batista miles ahead of everything else an I want to see those two fight on Sunday. I don’t quite want to see the rest of the show, which is about as hit or miss as you can get.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – July 28, 2008: The Silence Is Deafening

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 28, 2008
Location: Verizon Center, Washington DC
Attendance: 14,722
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re on the way to Summerslam and the end of last week’s show seemed to set up what could be a heck of a big Raw main event. It seems that we are on the way to a showdown between John Cena and Batista, which is the kind of a match that could headline Wrestlemania if given the chance. That should do for Summerslam, but we could be in for a bit of an uneven reaction in Batista’s hometown. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of the Batista/John Cena/CM Punk/Kane/JBL situation from last week, leaving us with Batista and Cena squaring off to end the show.

Opening sequence.

Here is John Cena to get things going and he has to acknowledge the mixed reaction. He is now perfect and he has made a mistake, meaning there are consequences to face. Last week, he hit Batista in the mouth and that means there are going to be consequences (I think he said that already.). If Batista would like to come out here, they can settle those consequences right now.

Cue Batista, who says that he saw what happened and they’re cool. They’re cool enough that once Batista defeats CM Punk to win the World Title, Cena is getting the first shot. Cena finds that nice….but Batista has already had his two shots. There are a lot of guys who deserve a shot and Cena isn’t sure Batista is at the top of that list. Batista laughs and says he knows CM Punk can’t beat him and neither can Cena.

That has Cena laughing as well, saying that Batista must be glad to be back home. A match between them should headline Wrestlemania, but what if we did Wrestlemania tonight? Batista likes the sound of that….but here is the returning Shane McMahon to interrupt. He and Stephanie McMahon have selected the new General Manager for tonight’s show, who we will meet later.

The new GM has made a bunch of matches tonight, including CM Punk against a free agent. As for Batista vs. Cena, it won’t be happening tonight, because Cena will be facing JBL and Kane. Oh and he can have Batista as a partner. Shane seemed a bit off here, speaking much more quietly and calmly than usual.

Santino Marella/Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly/D’Lo Brown

Before the match, Santino and Beth argued over who kissed whom last week but agreed to keep this strictly professional. The men start things off, with Santino saying he has this but getting his kick to the ribs blocked. Brown hits him with a rather hard clothesline and then knocks him into the corner off a right hand.

A missed charge lets Santino grab a neckbreaker though but he can’t manage a fireman’s carry. Instead Beth tags herself in and easily lifts Brown for a funny spot. Kelly comes in for some running forearms but Beth knees her down without much trouble. Santino wants in but misses an elbow, which does not sit well with Beth. Instead Santino grabs a rollup for the fast pin and the big celebration.

Post match we get a celebratory…handshake, but neither seem happy with that. Santino puckers up but gets glared at, only to have Beth grab him by the hair for a rather firm kiss of her own.

Shane McMahon looks at a picture of Vince McMahon when JBL interrupts to ask how Vince is doing. Shane ignores the question so JBL moves on to asking about the World Title. That’s something JBL needs to take up with the GM, but his question about Kane is cut off by a phone call from the new GM (and yes the ringtone is Shane’s theme song).

Raw Tag Team Titles: Jim Duggan/Jerry Lawler vs. Ted DiBiase Jr./Cody Rhodes

DiBiase and Rhodes are defending and Lawler comes out from the entrance rather than just getting up from commentary. Actually hold on though as the new General Manager has sent in a notice saying that Lawler will not be teaming up with Duggan, but there is a replacement.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Michael Cole/Jerry Lawler vs. Ted DiBiase Jr./Cody Rhodes

DiBiase and Rhodes are still defending and Cole is less than happy. After a break, Cole is on the apron (meaning no commentary, which is always weird) and Lawler naturally tells him that he’s going to do this on his own. DiBiase starts for the team and backs Lawler into the corner for a surprisingly clean break. It works so well that DiBiase does it again, but this time Lawler slaps him in the face to pick things up a bit.

DiBiase runs him over and hammers away before handing it off to Rhodes, who gets slapped as well. Lawler hammers Rhodes down in the corner but a middle rope dropkick gets Rhodes out of trouble. We hit the armbar but Lawler fights up and slugs away, as he is known to do. It’s way too early for the piledriver though and Lawler is sent into the corner…where Cole makes contact and that’s a tag. Rhodes sends Lawler outside so Cole actually hits him in the face, much to the fans’ delight. A hard clothesline retains the title.

Rating: C. This was much more of an angle than a match and that’s ok for something like this one. The new GM is apparently quite the villain, which should make for a bigger deal later tonight. If nothing else, DiBiase and Rhodes looked like the biggest villains in the world here, which is a good sign and better than they would have gotten out of Lawler and Duggan.

Post break Mike Adamle has taken over for Cole. Adamle says he was told to be here this week, suggesting that the GM had this planned in advance.

Here is Jamie Noble, with Layla, to say the new GM needs to pay attention to him. He wants to show off for Layla and prove that he’s the next Intercontinental Champion, so “Coffee” Kingston needs to get out here right now.

Kofi Kingston vs. Jamie Noble

Non-title. Noble hammers away to start and slams him down for two. Kofi is back up with the assortment of kicks into the Boom Drop, setting up a middle rope crossbody. Noble tries a fireman’s carry but gets caught with the spinning kick to the head to give Kingston the fast pin.

CM Punk vs. ???

Non-title, JBL is on commentary, and it’s……the returning William Regal, who is back from a Wellness suspension. Regal (in a sleeveless vest for a weird visual) grabs a headlock to start and takes Punk down. They go to the mat and Punk is rather overmatched. A jawbreaker gets Punk out of trouble and a leg lariat puts Regal down. Some knees in the corner just annoy Regal though and he hammers away, setting up a kick to the head against the post.

Back in and Punk (bleeding from the nose) gets taken down with Regal grinding a forearm into the jaw. Regal slowly forearms away and grabs a half nelson, which isn’t something you often see. Punk fights up and kicks away, including a hard one upside the head for two. A hard half nelson suplex drops Punk again, only to have him come back with the GTS for the fast pin.

Rating: B-. They were beating each other up out there and it was a fun match to see, even if it didn’t last long. You can imagine Punk being rather happy with getting to work with a veteran like Regal, who was probably happy to be back period. It was a nice return for Regal, who is always nice to have around.

Post match JBL gets in the ring so Punk is waiting on him, only for Kane to come out and drop JBL. Punk goes after Kane and gets taken down by JBL, who seems to come to an understanding with Kane.

Here are Chris Jericho and Lance Cade, for what is described as the final Highlight Reel. Jericho, in a suit, talks about how he has done something none of the fans here have done as he grew up. For years, he was seen as an entertainer and a party host for the new millennium. That is what he thought the fans wanted so he went along with it and even hosted his own talk show.

It was a pathetic mistake to pander to the fans and he was wrong to go that way. He will never settle for what the fans want again so tonight, the Highlight Reel is over. Before we go though, Jericho has a special tribute to a man whose career he personally ended. It’s not Shawn Michaels though, but rather Y2J. We see some clips of Jericho’s less than serious moments (a lot of which involves being mean to Stephanie McMahon) before Jericho asks if the fans miss that guy.

That footage embarrasses Jericho because he could have done that forever but no one would have ever respected him like Shawn Michaels. That made him realize he had to do something about it so he has given Michaels such a beating that he is gone forever. When he hurt Michaels, he hurt every one of the fans. Cade says he appreciates Jericho for taking him under his wing and saving him.

Jericho appreciates him as well, just like he appreciates how hard it is for Michaels to try to watch this show. He wants Michaels to listen to him for the first time ever: stay home and move on with your life. Enjoy life away from wrestling and move on, just like Jericho has. Speaking of which, he wants the Summerslam title match too. This was the really good evil Jericho and he has me wanting to see Michaels come back and get his revenge. Great stuff here.

Jim Ross joins commentary and has to correct Adamle from saying Survivor Series tickets will be on sale, because they will be “available”. That is a Vince line if I’ve ever heard one.

Mickie James vs. Jillian Hall

Non-title and Mickie’s dad is in the front row. Mickie starts fast and tries the hurricanrana but gets faceplanted for her efforts. Hall’s running flipping faceplant sets up something like a dragon sleeper, followed by some screeching. JR critiques Adamle’s move calling as Mickie fights back with a Thesz press and slugs away. The MickieDT finishes Hall rather quickly.

Post match Mickie goes to hug her dad but gets jumped by Katie Lea Burchill. Paul Burchill comes out as Katie says they’ll both be champions soon.

Todd Grisham can’t get Shane McMahon to reveal the GM, but whoever it is, they’re already here.

Summerslam rundown.

Jenny McCarthy still doesn’t like autism. Various celebrities agree.

Cryme Tyme have John Cena’s back for the main event but Batista comes in. Cena says he has this so Cryme Tyme leaves, with Batista telling Cena to stay out of his way. Then they aren’t sure who should go to the ring first.

Batista/John Cena vs. Kane/John Bradshaw Layfield

Cena and JBL start things off with JBL hammering him down to limited avail. Cena is right back with the Throwback for one and Batista tags himself in as JR is trying to figure out why he’s on the show this week. JBL’s forearm to the back doesn’t get him very far as Batista plants him with a powerslam. Kane makes the save so the villains are cleared out, leaving Batista and Cena to glare at each other as we take a break.

Back with JBL grabbing a swinging neckbreaker to put Cena down and handing it off to Kane. A basement dropkick and slam give Kane two each and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up so it’s back to JBL, who knocks Cena into the corner again. Cena fights up again (he does that a lot) and double clotheslines Kane down. The big tag brings in Batista to clean house including the spinebuster to JBL (Batista was polite enough to say “SPINEBUSTER” before he did it).

A low bridge takes Batista down though and Kane gets to come back in for a kick to the ribs. Kane stays on said ribs with a bodyscissors before it’s back to JBL to hammer away in the corner. Batista gets up again and spears JBL, who is right back with a big boot. Unfortunately JBL is also back with a right hand that hits Kane by mistake, meaning it’s time for some stalking. Cena uses the distraction to tag himself in and hit the AA to finish Kane.

Rating: C+. This got some time and felt like a big main event, though there is only so much interest in Batista and Cena as partners when they are likely to be fighting each other in a few weeks. Other than that you have Kane and JBL who are….well they’re not that interesting. There isn’t a big time heel at the moment and odds are that is going to be the GM, which doesn’t have the best track record.

Post match Shane McMahon comes out to announce that the new General Manager is….Mike Adamle. The fans are stunned into silence and it’s made even worse as he announces Cena vs. Batista for Summerslam. The staredown gets almost no reaction as the fans are stunned by the announcement to end the show. If that’s the best they’ve got, this show is in BIG trouble because the silence was almost scary after that announcement.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t a very good show in the first place and then it was made even worse by that terrible reveal at the end. I’m not sure how the best choice is the third show’s dorky/dumb announcer, but I don’t see this ending well. Maybe they have something better planned, but possibly the biggest match at Summerslam getting that kind of a reaction is a very telling sign. The rest of the show was hardly much better, with a bunch of lame stuff and nothing worth seeing. Pretty weak show here, and it isn’t giving me much hope going forward either.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – July 21, 2008: Cool For The Summerslam

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 21, 2008
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Uncasville, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

So it’s been a bit since I’ve been on these but I might as well at least get through Summerslam. The Great American Bash has wrapped up and the big story is that CM Punk is still the Raw World Champion after going to a double DQ with Batista. At the same time, he is probably also going to have to deal with Kane, who attacked Punk after the match, and John Bradshaw Layfield, who actually beat John Cena. Let’s get to it.

Here is the Great American Bash if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the Great American Bash, or at least the main event scene on the Raw side.

Batista is in the production truck and doesn’t like the recap of Kane attacking him.

Opening sequence.

Here is a ticked off Batista to get things going. He planned on coming out here as the new World Heavyweight Champion but then Kane got involved to cost him that title match. Since the McMahons aren’t here now, he’s going to put himself in charge, meaning he’ll be getting a rematch for the title against CM Punk. If anyone has a problem with that….and here is JBL on the Titantron to interrupt.

JBL asks why Batista should get the World Title match when he lost last night. He is entitled to the next World Title shot, but Batista thinks JBL should come out here and discuss that idea. JBL is banged up though and it’s feeling that tonight…so here is CM Punk to interrupt. Punk doesn’t want to hear from JBL right now (JBL is aghast) because he isn’t happy with Kane either.

Punk wanted to prove that he was the better man last night against Batista….so let’s do it again tonight. JBL rants on the Titantron but Batista says cut his mic. Punk is on for the match against Batista, with the title on the line, tonight. There are a bunch of matches to be had out of here and that is certainly one of them.

Jenny McCarthy welcomes us to join her in the ring to fight autism on Saturday Night’s Main Event. Oh dear.

Here is Shawn Michaels……’ music, with Lance Cade coming out instead. Cade used to look up to him as his mentor, but then things changed. He wants Shawn out here right now to have some words but here is Paul London instead.

Lance Cade vs. Paul London

London slugs away to start and jumps over him in the corner but Cade is right back with a backbreaker. London’s back gets bent over Cade’s knee for a bit before Cade sends him ribs first into the post. The sitout Rock Bottom spinebuster finishes London in a hurry to complete what was more or less a squash.

Post match Cade says that since Michaels won’t come out here, we’ll have Chris Jericho come out instead. Jericho says Michaels isn’t coming out tonight and he won’t be coming back. We look at Jericho beating Michaels the previous night via stoppage due to Michaels’ eye being destroyed, complete with the big dramatic music.

Back in the ring, Jericho talks about how Michaels knew how bad things were going to be and got in the ring anyway because he had to take another chance. Jericho talks about all of Michaels’ injuries, including a detached retina, which means he will never be able to see properly again. The thing is though that when Michaels’ eye closed, Jericho’s opened instead. Michaels never mentored Jericho, and now he is happy with what he did last night. The lack of remorse here was rather good and that has some potential, especially whenever Michaels gets back.

Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix

Kelly slips behind her to start and sweeps the leg but a rollup is easily blocked. Phoenix muscles her up for a slam and we hit something like a seated abdominal stretch. That’s broken up and Kelly’s enziguri his shoulder, setting up the screaming headscissors. The handspring elbow is loaded up and quickly blocked though, setting up the Glam Slam for the pin.

Rating: C. This felt like it was more about Kelly getting in some offense instead of being wrecked by Beth, which was quite the surprise. Beth already beat Santino Marella last week so it is clear that she is in for something big, though Kelly certainly got a focus here. She has a lot of the tools already and if she can get the in-ring aspect down, it could go rather well for her.

Here is Jim Duggan for a chat. He isn’t going to take up much time, but he is thinking about hanging up his boots. Last week, Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes said this was a game for young men, and maybe his time has passed by. He wanted to come out here and say thank you, but Jerry Lawler cuts him off. There is no age limit around here and Duggan can keep going as long as he wants to. Duggan can do something that Barack Obama and John McCain would love to do: get people to stand up and cheer USA. Duggan seems to like that and says no, he doesn’t want to give it up.

Cue Rhodes and DiBiase, with the latter thinking this is amazing. Just because Lawler likes to date women younger than him, he doesn’t get to explain things. Rhodes says he was two and a half years old when Duggan won the Royal Rumble, but they weren’t even alive when Lawler slapped Andy Kaufman. Lawler demonstrates the slap and DiBiase has to hold Cody back. For now though, they can deal with this later, but watch what’s about to happen.

Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase/John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Cryme Tyme/John Cena

Both Cena and JBL are rather banged up after last night but they start things off….with JBL handing it off to Cody instead. Cena punches him in the face and gets two off the bulldog before stopping to glare at JBL. Gaspard comes in for two off an elbow and a rather hard clothesline in the corner.

It’s off to DiBiase, who is quickly suplexed for two as the one sidedness continues. JTG comes in but gets caught with a cheap shot, which is enough for JBL to come in for a change. The big shoulder drops JTG and it’s back to Cody for the bearhug. That’s broken up due to reasons of it’s Cody doing a bearhug but DiBiase comes in to cut off the tag.

A middle rope double stomp gets two and Cody adds a top rope knee to the ribs. DiBiase drops some elbows on the ribs and grabs a bodyscissors as the villains certainly have a target here. JTG finally fights up and hits a quick dropkick for a breather. Cody comes ni but misses a charge into the post, allowing the tag off to Cena to start the house cleaning. JBL bails through the crowd, leaving Cena to fireman’s carry both Cody and DiBiase at the same time. Cody gets tossed and the FU finishes DiBiase.

Rating: C+. The heat segment on JTG was pretty long but Cena coming in to smash people is always worth a glance. While I could have gone without one of the Tag Team Champions losing, getting pinned by Cena is hardly the end of a career. Cryme Tyme continues to do well as Cena’s friends and that is certainly better than what they had been doing.

Chris Jericho and Lance Cade are going to lave but run into Kane, who still has that mask.

Various celebrities support Jenny McCarthy’s autism charity, which is working with WWE.

Mickie James/Kofi Kingston vs. Paul Burchill/Katie Lea

Mickie knocks Katie into the corner to start so Burchill comes in for some glaring. Kingston high crossbodies him to break that up but Burchill hammers him down rather quickly. The leg cranking goes on for a bit before Kingston is up with a sunset flip for two. The women start brawling on the floor so Burchill breaks it up before ducking Trouble In Paradise, which hits the post. Back in and the Wicked Sister gives Burchill the pin.

Rating: C+. This had some nice high spots from Kingston but it was mainly there for Burchill to get the pin, likely setting up a title match. That could be fine for a one off match, though I’m not sure if Burchill is going to be the biggest threat. He’ll do for now though, even if Lea might not be so equal to James.

Jamie Noble is hitting on Layla when Batista comes in to ask if Noble has seen Kane. That’s a rather rude no, so Batista chokes Noble and says if he sees Kane, let him know that Batista is looking for him.

CM Punk says if he goes down, he’s going down swinging. JBL comes in to say he wants the World Title shot at Summerslam. He threatens to make Punk a transitional champion but Punk points out that he already beat JBL. Glaring ensues.

We look at Chris Jericho damaging Shawn Michaels’ eye again last night. It’s the same footage from earlier.

Here is Santino Marella for an open challenge. Well open to anyone but women that is.

Santino Marella vs. D’Lo Brown

Well there’s a surprise and cue Beth Phoenix to watch. Brown throws him into the corner and there’s a suplex to put him down again. A basement clothesline sets up the Low Down to give Brown the easy pin.

Post match Brown leaves so Phoenix gets in the ring and decks Marella. She wants a fight and they do a standing switch….then they stare at each other and kiss. As it tends to go.

Toby Keith doesn’t like autism, but he does like Jenny McCarty trying to fight autism.

Raw World Title: Batista vs. CM Punk

Batista is challenging…and here is Kane before the match gets started. The brawl is on, with Punk running in and getting beaten down as well. After some questions from the referee and the Big Match Intros, we’re ready to go. Punk’s headlock doesn’t last long as Batista kicks him in he face to take over.

Back up and Punk gets in a neckbreaker and kicks away for two. A drop toehold lets Punk take him down and hammer away as the fans don’t seem thrilled so far. Punk fires off some knees to the back and puts on a choke, which is broken up even faster. The Figure Four necklock goes on for a bit before Punk hits a running knee to the face for two more. The running knee into the bulldog gets two but Punk’s springboard clothesline is spinebustered out of the air. Batista fires off the shoulders in the corner and hits the spear, only for JBL to come in for the DQ.

Rating: C. This really didn’t work and that might be because Punk was on offense for so much of it. Punk beating on Batista is only so easy to believe in the first place and it doesn’t help when he’s already presented as an underdog champion. On top of that, you had the fans waiting on what was likely going to be some kind of run in, so there was only so much reason to get into things here.

Post match John Cena runs in to go after JBL but hits Batista by mistake. Cena and Batista have to be held back and there’s Summerslam.

Overall Rating: C+. This show wasn’t so much about doing anything here but rather about setting the pieces up for later. You can pretty clearly see Batista vs. Cena being set up at the end, which leaves JBL to challenge Punk because we’re that lucky. Other than that we probably have another Jericho vs. Michaels match coming up, which makes for a heck of a top of the card on the Raw side. Not a great show here, but it has set the stage for the good ones later.

 

 

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Great American Bash 2008 (2024 Edition): See You Next Show

Great American Bash 2008
Date: July 20, 2008
Location: Nassau Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 12,454
Commentators: Jim Ross, Mick Foley, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Mike Adamle

We’re wrapping up the period before the Summerslam build here and the card is one sided to put it mildly. The Smackdown side is pretty much Edge challenging HHH for the Smackdown World Title, plus a four way Tag Team Title match. On the other side, Raw has John Cena vs. JBL in a parking lot fight, CM Punk defending the Raw World Title against Batista and Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho in a grudge match. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at Vickie Guerrero and Edge’s wedding, plus HHH revealing that Edge cheated on her the night before to end Smackdown. The other big matches get some attention of their own.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Edgeheads vs. Miz/John Morrison vs. Finlay/Hornswoggle vs. Jesse and Festus

Miz and Morrison are defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Festus clears the ring as tends to be his custom before Hornswoggle comes in for a stare…uh, up. Hornswoggle rolls up his sleeves but opts to dive onto Miz and Morrison instead. We settle down to Jesse monkey flipping Miz and knocking him down again for two. Festus beats on Miz as well before handing it off to Finlay. Morrison comes in and actually takes over on Finlay before bringing Miz back in for a chinlock.

It’s back to Morrison for his own chinlock as JR continues his Morrison to Rick Rude comparisons. Finlay fights up and double legs Miz down before doing the same thing to beat on Morrison. They collide in the corner so Ryder tags himself in to hammer Finlay down. The neck crank doesn’t last long on Finlay so Hawkins comes in to keep Finlay in trouble.

The Celtic Cross hits Hawkins and a shillelagh shot gets two, with Miz and Morrison making the save. Hawkins grabs a chinlock but Finlay is back up again, this time getting over to Hornswoggle to pick up the pace. Jesse tags himself in just as fast though and the fans are not pleased with the lack of Hornswoggle. Hawkins comes back in for a cheap shot on Hornswoggle but it’s back to Festus to really clean house. Miz and Morrison are sent outside and Hawkins breaks up the Rocket Launcher to pin Jesse and win the titles.

Rating: C+. It was a fast paced opener with a bunch of moving parts but they managed to keep the focus on just a few people at a time until the ending. Hawkins and Ryder winning the titles is the right way to go as Miz and Morrison have gotten everything they can out of them and La Familia is still the biggest thing on Smackdown. Give the team some more gold, as it’s not like Jesse and Festus or Hornswoggle/Finlay are worth anything.

US Title: Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin

Hardy is defending and is quickly taken to the mat to start. A small package gives Hardy two as well as a breather but Benjamin is right back with a headlock. That’s reversed into an armbar as they’re certainly starting slowly. Benjamin sends him to the apron for a ram into the post, setting up the armbar back inside. A gutbuster sets up the seated abdominal stretch as commentary talks about Benjamin’s aggression, despite there being nothing to suggest it exists here.

Hardy fights up and tries a Side Effect but gets planted with something like an STO. Back up and Hardy blocks Paydirt to start the comeback and hits the bulldog out of the corner. Hardy’s middle rope hurricanrana is countered into a heck of a buckle bomb and they’re both down. A Side Effect gives Hardy two but the moonsault…I think it was supposed to hit knees but Hardy overshot it anyway. Paydirt gives Benjamin the pin and the title.

Rating: C. The match was far from bad, but it wasn’t exactly thrilling, as it came off as more of a house show match. The ending didn’t help things either as commentary had to scramble to cover Hardy missing. It’s not like hardy was doing anything with the title anyway so switching it over to Benjamin works as well as anything else.

We see an interview from Monday, with CM Punk talking about how he’s always been the underdog. It’s not about your size or muscle and he’s in the business of proving everyone wrong, which is what he’s always done.

We look at HHH revealing that Edge cheated on Vickie Guerrero the day before their wedding.

ECW Title: Mark Henry vs. Tommy Dreamer

Henry is defending and has Tony Atlas in his corner while Dreamer has Colin Delaney. Dreamer charges at him and is quickly shoved into the corner, with Henry throwing him around again for a bonus. A hard clothesline puts Dreamer down again and Henry steps on his head as a few BORING chants start up.

Henry works on the arm (which is code for he leans over and grabs the wrist), Dreamer fights up, Henry takes him down and works on the arm again. The splash misses though and Dreamer hits the basement dropkick but has to escape the World’s Strongest Slam. The DDT puts Henry down and Dreamer goes up for no apparent reason, allowing Delaney to pull him down. Henry hits the World’s Strongest Slam to retain.

Rating: D+. This was a good example of everything that is wrong with ECW. First of all, there was no reason to believe Dreamer was going to take the title. He hasn’t been nearly that important for a long time now and it wasn’t going to change here. Second, the Delaney turn doesn’t mean much as he’s a loser who didn’t exactly become a star when he was with Dreamer. Third, the match was really boring, which is quite ECW in a lot of ways. Rather dull stuff here and by far the worst thing on the show.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels, and thank goodness as the show needs it. Jericho claimed Michaels is a hypocrite (and was kind of right) and then took out his eye. Now Michaels is back for revenge and to prove that no matter what Jericho does, Michaels will always be better.

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho

They lock up to start and thankfully drop that in all of two seconds to start hitting each other in the face. Shawn gets the better of things with some chops and knocks Jericho into the corner before going after the leg. The reverse Figure Four has Jericho in early trouble but he’s in the ropes pretty quickly. Shawn stays on the leg and the referee stops things for a second to check on Jericho in the corner.

Jericho is fine enough to send Shawn over the corner and out to the apron, with Shawn favoring his back. The knee is fine enough to hit a triangle dropkick out to the floor before Jericho takes him inside for a double arm crank. With that broken up, Jericho dives into an atomic drop and Shawn drops him with the flying forearm. Shawn nips up but Jericho pulls him straight into the Walls, which is counter you don’t see very often.

This time Shawn makes the rope so Jericho loads up the bulldog, only to get dropped with a clothesline for two. The top rope elbow is broken up but Shawn wins a fight on top and now the elbow connects. Cue Lance Cade to break up the superkick but Shawn blocks the Codebreaker. They slug it out again until Shawn hiptosses him out onto Cade for the big crash. Naturally Shawn is right there with a moonsault onto the two of them and everyone is down again.

Back in and Shawn’s bad eye is busted open, with commentary not being sure when it was cut. Naturally Jericho goes right after the eye and knocks him into the ropes, where Cade gets in the cheap shot. The very bloody Shawn manages to pull him into a crossface but Jericho pulls him into the buckle for the violent escape. The referee wants to stop it but Shawn begs him not to, meaning Jericho is right back on the eye. Shawn is COVERED in blood and does the “pull myself up on the other guy’s tights” spot, only to have Jericho punch him down again and hammer away….until the referee finally stops it.

Rating: B+. This took some time to get going but there is almost no one better than Shawn at making you think he was dying in front of your eyes. Shawn was trying to fight and was still in there until the injury flared up again, along with Cade offering the distraction. This felt like the big middle piece in a bigger story and they pulled me in with the emotion and hatred. Awesome match and we’re almost certainly not done yet.

We get the emotional exit for Shawn, who has to be helped out.

Edge is really not pleased with HHH for violating his privacy and taking away his personal life. All Edge has left is his professional life and tonight, he will be extra dangerous.

Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Natalya

For the inaugural title but commentary is to busy talking about Edge/Vickie Guerrero. They grapple to the mat to start as commentary compares McCool to softball star Jennie Finch. Natalya wheelbarrow drops her throat first over the top to take over and we hit the surfboard to stay on McCool’s….well various parts. McCool powers out so Natalya switches to the Sharpshooter. That’s broken up as well and this time McCool pulls her into the heel hook for the title.

Rating: C-. These two were in the death slot as there was almost no way they were going to be able to follow the previous match. It doesn’t help that the match was almost a Natalya squash until McCool got in her one hold for the win. It’s rather nice for the women on Smackdown to have something to do, but they could use some more blood in the division or it is going to turn old fast.

Post match here is Chris Jericho to interrupt, saying you need to save your ticket stubs because this is the night of Shawn Michaels’ last match. Shawn has a detached retina and that means his career is over. It shows that the good guys win and the wicked are punished and the worst has finally come for Shawn. Jericho was feeling the evil here and it worked.

We recap CM Punk defending the World Title against Batista. Punk won Money In The Bank and used it to become champion, meaning he needs to prove himself worthy. Batista doesn’t seem to be overly intimidated so Punk is extra motivated.

Raw World Title: Batista vs. CM Punk

Punk is defending and we go old school with a weapons check. Batista powers him around to start and Punk realizes he might need another plan. Some kicks to the legs slow Batista down but he elbows Punk in the face to cut him off. An enziguri knocks Batista outside and Punk follows him outside with a suicide dive.

Back in and Punk strikes away, only to be run over to give Batista two. The camel clutch goes on to keep Punk in trouble, which is broken up as camel clutches tend to be. Punk gets up a shot to the face in the corner and hits a high crossbody for two. The Batista Bomb is countered but a powerslam isn’t, meaning Punk has to counter the Bomb again.

Punk hits the running knee in the corner but can’t hit the GTS, instead settling for the springboard clothesline. The Anaconda Vice (been a minute since Punk used that) is broken up and Batista hits a heck of a clothesline. Batista’s charge hits the post and he falls outside, where he is able to catch a diving Punk with a spinebuster. Cue Kane to jump Batista for the DQ.

Rating: C+. They were starting to get somewhere but then just stopped for the DQ ending. This is either setting up a triple threat (erg) or Punk vs. Batista II, but Punk needs to win something on a big stage. It was bad enough that he got the title via Money In The Bank, but he’s lucky to crack the top five stars on Raw. This didn’t help things, though I guess Batista needed to be kept strong. Granted that makes me wonder why he was in the match in the first place, but I can picture Vince’s “oh it’s fine” face from here so we’ll move o.

Post match Kane lays out Punk, Batista, and a production worker. With Kane gone, Batista hits the Batista Bomb on Punk to make things even worse for the champ. Somehow this is a double DQ, despite Kane not touching Punk before the bell.

We recap John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield. With Vince McMahon gone, JBL has declared martial law but Cena isn’t having it. Now they’re going to fight in a parking lot.

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

This is taking place in the parking lot in a circle of cars and JBL shows up in his limo, fighting in most of a suit. There’s no Cena to start so JBL gets on a hood, only to have Cena pop up in another car and ram into him. Cena chokes him with a cord and then slams a car hood onto JBL’s back. Some jumper cables to the crotch set up some electrocution and JBL screams a lot.

JBL is put on another hood and Cena throws a well placed keg, only to hit windshield. With JBL trying to drive away, Cena grabs him for some rams into the horn. JBL fights back to little avail but manages to whip Cena through a car door, knocking it off the hinges. Cena gets punched off a car for two and then sent through the windshield of another for the big crash.

A crowbar shot misses for JBL and Cena slugs away but JBL sends him through a window. With nothing else working, JBL goes to grab some gasoline (with his limo rolling away) and douses one of the cars (with Cena inside). The car is lit on fire and promptly extinguished, with an annoyed looking Cena getting out. JBL goes over to a forklift but Cena is there to send him into another car.

Now Cena gets in the forklift and gores said car, only to lift it up and carry it into the arena. Commentary kicks in as Cena knocks JBL around and plants him with the ProtoBomb onto the stage. Cena loads up the FU but walks JBL over to the edge of the stage, only to take too long as JBL slips off. JBL sends him off the stage and through a windshield for the upset win.

Rating: C-. This was quite the situation and I wasn’t wild on most of it. They had a bunch of slow brawling in the back with car stuff before coming to the arena for a few minutes. JBL had to get a win of some sort but egads this means we’re going to have to hear him talk even more, which is about as painful of a thought as I can imagine. Not exactly great here, but what are you expecting from JBL?

We recap Edge vs. HHH for the latter’s Smackdown World Title. Vickie Guerrero gave Edge the title shot before their wedding but then Edge cheated on her the day before said wedding, with HHH revealing Edge’s, uh, indiscretion. Now it’s about the title, though Edge is more than a bit distracted.

HHH has no regrets over what he did.

Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. Edge

HHH is defending and we get the Big Match Intros with a weapons check. Edge charges right at him and hammers away but gets sent outside. HHH sends him outside and grabs a neck snap across the top. A ram int the buckle has Edge on the floor again but he knocks a diving HHH out of the air. Back in and Edge hits the running shoulder in the corner before sending him outside for a whip into the steps.

A drop onto the announcers’ table keeps HHH’s ribs in trouble and Edge grabs a bodyscissors back inside. HHH fights up but gets dropkicked to the apron, where he sidesteps a spear to send Edge crashing to the floor. Back in and HHH slugs away before they go outside (again) with Edge going into the post. Edge is right back up though and grabs the Impaler on the floor, which means a rather delayed cover gets two.

HHH hits his own DDT for his own two but the Pedigree is countered into the Edge-O-Matic. The spear only hits buckle but Edge’s big boot only hits HHH’s jaw, leaving them both down again. Back up and the spear is countered into the spinebuster to give HHH a much needed breather. The Pedigree is countered again, this time with a ram into the corner. Edge takes him up top for a superplex but here is wedding planner Alicia Fox to send in the title. Cue Vickie Guerrero to take Alicia down and the catfight is on in the ring. The spear hits Vickie by mistake, allowing HHH to grab the Pedigree for the pin to retain.

Rating: B. It was good but they never came close to hitting that really high level. At the same time, it didn’t help that this was more about the Vickie/Edge stuff, with the title just kind of being there on the side. These two feel like they should have had their first big match on a more important show, but at least what they got to do here did work. It just could have been a pretty good bit better.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a perfectly fine show that should have been better than it was. There were some big matches on the card and those matches worked, but the lower card stuff is completely forgettable, even with three new champions being crowned. It’s a show where things happened, but it’s not a show that felt important. Instead, it came off like a “the big one is next time”, which doesn’t make for the most enjoyable event.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – July 14, 2008: Crash TV

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 14, 2008
Location: RBC Center, Raleigh, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Somehow it’s been about three months since I’ve done one of these. It’s the last Raw before the Great American Bash and the big match on the Raw side will see Batista challenging CM Punk for the World Title. Other than that, JBL continues to think he runs the show and it’s still not quite interesting. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week, with Batista becoming the #1 contender for CM Punk’s World Title. Then Kane snapped and went all evil (again), this time attacking Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole.

Shane and Stephanie McMahon want us to all pull together to get through the times without Vince McMahon around. If things don’t get better, actions will be taken.

We go to the arena where Shawn Michaels is attacking Chris Jericho before Jericho can say anything. Lance Cade runs in for the save to get Jericho out of harm’s way.

With the three of them gone, here is Kane, complete with a small bag. Kane leans over the commentary table and says he’s sorry as the fans chant for Lawler. Then Kane walks off without getting physical.

In the back, Shawn Michaels has attacked Chris Jericho again and it has to be broken up.

Mickie James vs. Katie Lea

Non-title and Paul Burchill is here with Katie. Mickie grabs some early rollups for two each but the hurricanrana out of the corner is blocked. Katie pulls her around by the hair for two and we hit the reverse chinlock. We’ll make that a regular chinlock but Mickie is right back up. Mickie’s tornado DDT is blocked but now the hurricanrana works. The top rope Thesz press puts Katie away.

Rating: C-. Katie’s time seems to have come and gone, which is a shame as there is always the place for a British villain. Mickie is in need of some fresh challengers as she has been champion for awhile and no one seems to be giving her a threat. Granted that is likely to wind up being Beth Phoenix, as there isn’t anyone else who feels like they are on Mickie’s level.

Post match Paul and Katie go after Mickie until Kofi Kingston makes the save. It would have been rude for him not to make a save after Paul looked over his shoulder that many times.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Paul Burchill

Kingston is defending, the women are still here and we’re joined in progress with Kingston hitting a jumping elbow. A small package gives Kingston two before he grabs an armbar. An armdrag sets up another armbar as they’ve certainly slowed down a bit. Back up and Kofi’s dropkick gets two and it’s right back to the armbar.

Burchill fights up again and kicks him out of the corner for two, setting up a waistlock. A gutbuster and backsplash give Burchill two but Kingston fights out of another waistlock. Kingston’s Russian legsweep sets up the Boom Drop but here is Katie on the apron. That’s broken up by Mickie and Trouble In Paradise retains the title.

Rating: C. This was mostly armbars and waistlocks, which didn’t exactly make for an entertaining match. Other than that it was Kingston beating someone who didn’t feel like much of a threat. That being said, Kingston needs to pile up some wins to make himself feel more like a champion so giving him another win helps as much as anything else.

Santino Marella tells Matt Striker about his open challenge tonight. Cue Kane to ask about CM Punk. Santino: “Did you try the Pepsi machine?”

Post break Kane goes up to CM Punk, saying deep down inside, he knows someone is dead. Punk doesn’t know what is going on but Kane wants him tonight, one on one. Punk isn’t sure but Kane says this isn’t about the title. As usual, Punk is down for a challenge and the match is on. Punk asks about the bag Kane is carrying but Kane clutches it closer and leaves without saying anything.

A serious John Cena talks about how Vince McMahon is not here and he is trying to keep a good face on. Then JBL challenged him to a New York City Parking Lot Brawl and Cena can’t smile anymore. For those of you who don’t know what it’s about, it’s a war instead of a match. The two of them will be fighting in a circle of cars in a parking lot and anything goes. It’s about breaking bones and ripping flesh and we will find out if a man’s pride will fold. The question is why Cena would accept such a challenge but the reality is he and JBL don’t like each other.

Cena is down for one more fight at the Great American Bash because JBL considers himself a great American, which makes Cena sick. He’s happy to try to break some of JBL’s bones and send the face of a great American through every window he can find. Cena wants to see some real fear from JBL because this isn’t a fight with some pretty boy. Extreme violence is promised and here is Cryme Tyme to stand beside Cena, who accepts the challenge. As for tonight, let’s make it a six man with JBL finding any two partners he can.

Santino Marella vs. ???

It’s open challenge time and here is….Beth Phoenix to answer. They fight over a lockup to start until Beth shows him a double bicep. Beth takes him down and hammers away before easily powering out of a headlock. A slam gives Beth two but Santino shouts about being a man, only to miss a charge into the corner. That’s enough for Beth to grab a rollup for the fast pin, leaving Santino rather flummoxed.

Here is Kelly Kelly for a match but Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase interrupt. They know she has a match tonight….but they don’t care so she can leave. Cody talks about how the two of them have gotten a lot of unfair criticisms but they’re not bad guys. They’re just better than their fathers. When you’re this talented, you don’t need to pay dues. Imagine what happens when they enter their primes.

Cue Jim Duggan of all people to interrupt, saying he knows their dads. They’re old school, just like him. The difference is the old school people respected the generations that paved the way for them. DiBiase and Rhodes are better athletes, but they have a lot of growing up to do. Cody says Duggan might be on to something but Cody calls out Duggan for being 54 years old and trying to relive some glory days which weren’t that glorious in the first place.

DiBiase asks if Duggan thinks he still has what it takes anymore, when he’s really just here looking for a reaction. Duggan is the one who needs to grow up, and the two of them leave. JBL pops up on the screen to say they have earned the right to team with him in the main event. They’re in.

CM Punk vs. Kane

Non-title. Kane chokes him into the corner to start but Punk kicks his way to freedom. Punk manages to kick him out to the floor, where Kane cuts off a slide to take over again. The basement dropkick gives Kane two and we hit the cravate. We’ll make that a chinlock until Punk fights up and strikes away. A series of kicks sends Kane into the corner but the bulldog out of it is broken up. Instead Punk hits a heck of a kick to the head for one and a high crossbody gets two. Kane knocks him outside where Punk grabs a bulldog, which is enough to beat the count for the win.

Rating: C+. That was about as good of a way out as they had as Kane is the new monster and Punk is the new champion so there was only so much they could have done. At the same time it might have been better to not make the match in the first place, but at least Punk didn’t lose. Punk is always going to fight from behind and winning by countout is about as good as he can get in this spot.

Post match Kane throws in a bunch of chairs and wraps one around Punk’s neck but Batista makes the save. Batista helps Punk up so Punk offers him a handshake, but Batista wants the title. Batista gives him a not so nice slap on the face so Punk shoves, earning himself a spinebuster.

We look back at John Cena and Cryme Tyme destroying JBL’s limo last week.

Chris Jericho vs. Paul London

Lance Cade is here with Jericho, who pounds London into the corner and hits a running boot to the head. London gets sent outside in a heap before Jericho chokes on the ropes back inside. A spinwheel kick gives London a breather but he misses a high crossbody. Jericho hits a butterfly backbreaker and calls out Shawn Michaels before grabbing the Liontamer for the fast tap.

Post match Jericho says London can take that loss like he would and learn from it, or take it like Shawn Michaels and do nothing. Cue Shawn to say nothing will change between them and teasing more violence.

Jamie Noble hits on Layla, suggesting that they can be the Raw power couple. Layla says she doesn’t date short men but Noble says he’s way above average in the ring. Noble offers to jump the next guy who comes through here so cue Snitsky to tell him to be quiet. Layla isn’t impressed so Noble stands up to Snitsky. Even Layla realizes this is stupid as Noble calls Snitsky out to the ring. They wind up in said ring and a pumphandle slam leaves Noble laying.

We get the Shane/Stephanie McMahon plea for unity from earlier tonight.

Great American Bash rundown.

John Bradshaw Layfield/Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase vs. John Cena/Cryme Tyme

Cena and Rhodes start things off with Cena slugging him into a corner but glaring at JBL. The release fisherman’s suplex drops Cody Rhodes again, setting up another glare. Shad comes in for a release butterfly suplex to DiBiase so it’s back to Rhodes to kick away at JTG. Rhodes makes the mistake of telling JTG to shine his shoes and gets taken down with a Sling Blade for his troubles.

JBL comes in and is smart enough to taunt Cena in, meaning we get some double choking in the corner. JTG’s comeback is cut off by a dropkick to the knee and the villains get to take over on said knee. The leglock goes on and we take a break with JTG in more trouble. Back with JBL hitting a hard clothesline and the slow beating continuing.

Rhodes goes old school with a spinning toehold until JTG kicks him away, which still isn’t enough to get over for the tag. JTG finally gets away and brings Cena back in to pick the pace way up. JBL bails and it’s an FU to DiBiase into the Throwback to Rhodes. Cena’s top rope Fameasser hits Rhodes but JBL is back to break up the STFU…for the DQ. That’s a pretty lame reason for a DQ but sure enough. Even Lawler doesn’t seem sure why that was a DQ.

Rating: C-. This was slow and not exactly good, with the ending feeling like a rather pitiful way out. It’s not a good sign when commentary is confused about what happened, even when it should have been pretty clear. I get that you don’t want a champion jobbing, but JBL couldn’t have used a chair or something a little more violent? Other than that, it was a rather long heat segment on JTG and that wasn’t the most thrilling way to go.

Post match JBL walks off and taunts Cena to follow him to the back. Cena gives chase and realizes he has to go into the parking lot (where a camera happens to be waiting). Then he stands around a lot in total silence until JBL finally jumps him from behind with something metal. JBL sits the unconscious Cena in front of a car and crushes him, then gets out and realizes what he’s done to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I wasn’t quite thrilled with this show as the focus was on Cena vs. JBL, which hasn’t been an interesting feud in a long time. The World Champion feels like a third wheel behind the battling John’s and Shawn vs. Jericho. There is some good stuff going on closer to the top of the card, but my goodness the lower part of the show isn’t exactly holding the rest of it up.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – July 7, 2008: Hurry Up So They Can Bash

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 7, 2008
Location: New Orleans Arena, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s probably not a good sign that I haven’t done one of these in so long that I barely remember what is going on. The big story is CM Punk cashing in Money In The Bank last week on Edge to win the World Heavyweight Championship, bringing a World Title to Raw. We’re also on the way to the Bash and that is going to need a card. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Punk winning the title and his first title defense against JBL last week. JBL declaring martial law is not exactly the most interesting idea, and John Cena/Cryme Tyme seem to agree.

Stephanie McMahon asks everyone to pull together in Vince McMahon’s absence.

Here is Vickie Guerrero in the ring to get things going. She is here to protest CM Punk being the World Heavyweight Champion and is not leaving until the title is surrendered to her. An apology is demanded and here is Punk to respond. Vickie yells at him and says Edge is so close to falling apart that he has called off their wedding! Punk says he probably did them a favor and explains the Money In The Bank concept. Maybe Vickie can find someone cute on Smackdown, like the Great Khali! Vickie stands up and slaps him, so Punk wheels her into the corner.

Cue JBL in his limo to interrupt and say Punk’s reign is coming to an end. JBL challenges for the title, saying Vince McMahon would give him the shot. Punk brings up that Vince isn’t here, but John Cena certainly is. Cena mocks JBL for blaming a variety of things on not being champion and doesn’t really want to hear about it. Maybe Cena should listen to Punk, who shakes Cena’s hand.

In reality, there is no one in charge around here, so we need to figure out Punk’s next challenger. Cena thinks he and JBL should have some kind of #1 contenders match, but here is Batista who wants in as well. Batista says Punk deserves the title after last week and also says hi to Vickie, who made him miserable on Smackdown. He feels sorry for her…but nah, because he really can’t stand her.

As for the title, Punk cashed in after Batista took Edge out but JBL cuts Batista off instead. Cena calms things down by suggesting a triple threat #1 contenders match tonight. JBL doesn’t like it so Cena says that means JBL is out entirely. That gets JBL in the triple threat, but now it’s Kane interrupting. He wants in too so Punk thinks we have a fatal four way. And that’s finally it!

Rey Mysterio vs. Santino Marella

Rey sends him into the corner to start but a faceplant gives Marella a breather. A camel clutch is broken up but Rey misses a 619, only to knock Santino down without much effort. Rey hits a jumping double stomp of all things and the 619 into the top rope splash gives Rey the fast pin.

CM Punk is…interrupted when a light falls down. Anyway, he’ll face anyone but Snitsky of all people comes in to say he wants a fight. Works for Punk.

John Cena and Mickie James are talking about last night when Kelly Kelly comes up to talk about their tag match. Cena is amazed that Kelly got out of her ECW contract, but apparently it didn’t exist.

Kelly Kelly/Mickie James vs. Jillian Hall/Layla

Jillian grabs Mickie’s arm to start and is quickly pulled into a headlock. Kelly comes in with a sunset flip for two and a hurricanrana gets the same. Layla gets in a cheap shot though and Jillian rams Kelly’s face into the mat over and over. They go to the corner and Kelly manages a victory roll for the fast pin.

Rating: C. This was about all you could expect from this match as Mickie was barely involved. It seems that Kelly might be the next in line to get a push but she is going to need a lot of work in the ring to really make that happen. She has to start somewhere though and the whole gymnast thing can get her at least a few steps forward.

Here is JBL’s limo…with JBL walking beside it. He can’t open the doors….so here is John Cena, holding a crowbar, to pop out instead. Cena says Louisiana has strict laws involving limousines and this one will never pass inspection. Fortunately for JBL, Cena knows two guys who can help get parts quick. We hear about some of those limo laws, with Cryme Tyme (carrying some large bats/pipes) helping to fix the limo up a bit. One more thing though: it needs a custom paint job! Spray painting ensues as a bonus. Cena: “Fine work by the Cryme Tyme Body Shop. It is sure worth the drive.”

We look at the cash-in again.

CM Punk vs. Snitsky

Non-title. Punk strikes away to start but dives into a bearhug, allowing Snitsky to drive him into the corner. Snitsky’s elbow gets two and the bearhug goes on again. More strikes get Punk out of trouble again and the running knee in the corner sets up a bulldog. The GTS gives Punk the pin.

Video on Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho, with Michaels’ eye being heavily damaged.

Here is Michaels to say he accepts Jericho’s challenge for the Great American Bash. Cue Jericho with Lance Cade, with Jericho saying he knew Michaels would accept. Michaels can’t help himself because all of the beatings haven’t taught him anything. Now Michaels is going to get beaten up again, even though he’s just another legend fighting for one more chance. Does Michaels want to be a martyr for all of these people? Are they going to pay for him if he loses everything?

Like every other martyr, Michaels is going to be swept underneath the rug and forgotten. Michaels talks about how he could leave wrestling today and be remembered forever. No matter what he has done, the fans seem to keep giving him a pass. Jericho doesn’t think that’s fair, but Michaels talks about what Jericho has done in his career. In spite of all that though, Jericho will never have peace because he will never be Michaels. And there’s the core of the story and that makes the story so much better.

Kofi Kingston vs. Charlie Haas

Non-title. Haas grabs a headlock to start but can’t get very far as Kofi strikes away. A cravate with knees to the face have Kingston down for two and we hit the chinlock. Kofi fights up with some dropkicks into the Boom Drop and the spinning kick to the face finishes Haas off in a hurry.

Rating: C. Not much to this one as they only had a few minutes. It doesn’t help that Haas hasn’t meant anything in a long time now so there was only so much drama about anything happening. I’m sure Kingston will get an opponent worthy of a title shot soon enough, but that isn’t Haas right now and they didn’t treat him as anything else.

Post match Paul Burchill runs in and lays Kingston out.

Batista is walking….and a fan randomly runs in to do his pose before running off again.

Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield vs. John Cena vs. Kane

For the World Title shot at the Great American Bash. The brawl starts fast with JBL booting Cena down for an early two. All four of them slug it out and we take an early break. Back with Kane elbowing Cena in the face and ripping at said face in the corner. Batista hits a spinebuster for two on JBL with Kane making the save and planting Batista with a chokeslam. JBL breaks up the FU to Kane and everyone is left down.

It’s Cena up first to clean house, including an FU to Batista for two. We take another break and come back again with Kane breaking up the Shuffle to JBL. Batista starts cleaning house and kicks a downed Kane in the face. The Clothesline From JBL hits Batista but Cena pulls JBL into the STFU. That’s broken up so Cena and JBL double team Kane down. Everyone but Cena fight to the floor, with Kane knocking JBL over the barricade. Back in and Batista spears Kane for the fast pin and the title shot.

Rating: B-. This wasn’t some kind of a classic or anything but they kept things moving here and it made for an entertaining match as a result. I had fun with this and giving Batista the title shot is an interesting way to go. Punk vs. JBL isn’t interesting, Cena would be an overwhelming favorite over Punk and Kane doesn’t feel like a World Title challenger. That leaves Batista as the just right choice and he got there in an entertaining fight.

Post match Batista leaves so Kane can snap and beat up people working at ringside. Kane yells at commentary and drags Cole inside, telling Cole to ANSWER ME. Jerry Lawler chop blocks Kane to save Cole but gets beaten up to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. They don’t have much time to get ready for the Great American Bash at this point so moving rather quickly like this is a good idea. The World Title match is now set and Michaels vs. Jericho got a nice boost. This show felt like it got some things done in the span of two hours and that is not something you often see with Raw. Good enough show here, as the Bash is coming together rather quickly.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – June 16, 2008: Mama KB’s Birthday Bonanza

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 16, 2008
Location: E-Center, Salt Lake City, Utah
Attendance: 11,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s night two of Million Dollar Mania, which is likely going to mean a lot of sitting around while Vince McMahon talks on the phone. Other than that, we’re on the way towards Night Of Champions and things are heating up between John Cena and HHH. We’re also a week away from the Draft and that means things are going to be shaken up soon. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is John Cena to get things going. Cena talks about how much he loves WWE and how there are moments that transcend time. Moments like Hulk Hogan slamming Andre the Giant, Shawn Michaels’ boyhood dream coming true, and the first time Steve Austin beat someone up. We are (less than) two weeks away from another one of those moments, when he defeats HHH at Night Of Champions to become WWE Champion.

Cue HHH to say this isn’t personal but he’s not sure how much he believes that. Last week, Cena cost HHH a match with Jeff Hardy. If that happens again, this is going to get really personal really fast. Cena brings up HHH knocking him off the announcers’ table last week but HHH knew he would fall off on his own anyway. We hear about HHH tapping at Wrestlemania, with HHH pointing out that IT WAS TWO YEARS AGO.

Cena says HHH may be champion, but until he beats Cena, it doesn’t matter. HHH mocks Cena for being a favorite of younger fans and THAT is enough to make Cena want to fight. A referee comes in but here is Vince McMahon to says not so fast, because this is about giving away money. As for the people in the ring, Cena is in a match right now.

John Cena vs. Umaga

Street fight. Cena tries a sunset lip of all things before going for the slam, with Umaga falling down on him instead. Umaga knocks him hard off the apron and we take a break. Back with Cena charging into a Samoan drop on the ramp but the running hip attack only hits post. Cena hits him with the microphone (there had to be better options) but Umaga plants him with the spinning Rock Bottom for two.

Umaga grabs a chair but Cena takes it away and puts him down instead. The Throwback and top rope Fameasser connect, only to have Cena fall down when trying the FU. A whip into the steps keeps Cena down so Umaga brings the steps inside, only to have Cena reverse into the FU for the pin.

Rating: C+. These two had some great chemistry together at one point and it was still there to a certain extent, but Umaga has fallen a very long way since the old days. Cena got a little something out of a win over the monster though and that was the point. I’m sure HHH will have a match of his own later on as it’s a good way to make both he and Cena look like stars.

Vince McMahon calls a fan and makes him bark like a dog, which is good for $125,000.

And now, a bikini contest between Maria, Eve Torres, Jillian Hall, Lena Yada, Layla, Melina and Maryse, with Charlie Haas of all people hosting. They all disrobe (well not Jillian, who would rather sing), get fifteen seconds each, and Maria wins.

Vince, money, $100,000, though the fan from North Carolina says Ric Flair is the most handsome man ever from the state. Vince lets him have the money anyway.

We look back at Chris Jericho injuring Shawn Michaels’ eye.

Jim Duggan comes out (both he and the 2×4 are in tuxedos) to help Vince McMahon give away $50,000 but the call goes to voicemail. Vince mocks the fan for blowing it so another fan wins instead.

Jeff Hardy vs. Carlito

Jeff starts fast by sending him outside for the slingshot dive. Back in and Carlito catches him in the ropes for the hanging swinging suplex. We hit the chinlock with a knee in Hardy’s back but it’s broken up rather quickly. Jeff misses a dropkick to give Carlito two but he’s right back with a jawbreaker to send Carlito flying. The Whisper In The Wind gets two and there’s the sitout gordbuster. The Twist of Fate into the Swanton finishes Carlito off.

Rating: B-. Nice match here, though they didn’t have much time to get very far. The interesting thing here though is that Hardy seems ready to move up to the main event scene. Last week he beat HHH and this week he gets a nice win over Carlito. He’s too big to be in the Intercontinental Title scene, so there isn’t much left for him to go but move up the ladder again. That could be a big deal, and we should be on the way.

Vince, $175,000 this time, but the fan has to sing part of the National Anthem.

Here is Chris Jericho to explain attacking Shawn Michaels last week because everyone has been getting on him about it. We see a clip of the attack and then Jericho blames the fans for changing. It wasn’t his fault that any of this had to happen but the fans are blaming him anyway. That means the fans don’t deserve to be saved anymore and he doesn’t need want them to cheer him anyway. They must want Shawn to come out here right now but it’s not going to happen.

Cue Ric Flair to interrupt and get in Jericho’s face to tell him to shut up. No he can’t wrestle anymore, but they can go to the parking lot and have a fight right now. They start heading to the back but Jericho runs into HHH, who thinks Jericho has been doing enough. Ever since Jericho came back, HHH has been wanting to make Jericho his business and now he wants a fight. Jericho backs down though and we take a break. Back with Flair still wanting to fight but Vince McMahon comes in to have him escorted out. Instead, Vince makes HHH vs. Jericho for tonight.

Cody Rhodes/Hardcore Holly vs. Cryme Tyme

Non-title. Ted DiBiase comes out to offer a distraction….and Holly rolls JTG up for the pin in about ten seconds. Well at least they didn’t lose again.

Vince, $16 to a North Carolina fan in honor of the 16 time World Champion Ric Flair.

Paul Burchill/Katie Lea vs. Mr. Kennedy/Mickie James

This Kennedy vs. Burchill feud needs to wrap up already if they want Kennedy to be something. Kennedy starts fast with a backdrop and stomps away in the corner. Burchill isn’t having that and pulls him into a chinlock before grinding a forearm into Kennedy’s face. Back up and Kennedy hits a running boot in the corner but Katie tags herself in. The fight with Mickie is on with Mickie’s running basement dropkick getting two. The men brawl to the floor, leaving Mickie to miss the top rope Thesz press. Katie grabs a backbreaker for the fast pin.

Rating: C. Kennedy and Burchill didn’t do much here but this was about Katie getting another win over Mickie to set up a likely title match. It’s nice to see some fresh blood in the title picture and Katie has done well enough in her chances so far. I can’t imagine she wins the title, but so far so good.

Vince, $174,984 to a VERY excited fan.

Vince, $75,000.

Night Of Champions rundown.

John Cena wishes HHH luck.

Vince, $300,000. We’ll be doing this again next week.

HHH vs. Chris Jericho

Non-title. HHH knocks him down a few times to start as Jericho can’t get much going early on. A whip into the post bangs up Jericho’s shoulder and he falls out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Jericho choking on the ropes and then standing on HHH’s back to choke some more. Jericho misses a charge though and HHH slugs away, only to have the facebuster blocked. The Walls don’t work either and HHH hits a spinebuster. Jericho can’t get the Walls or the Lionsault and they fight out to the floor. Cue Lance Cade of all people to jump HHH for the DQ.

Rating: B-. Another nice match and that’s kind of the point here. I can go for not having a champion lose clean in a thrown together match and they covered that well here. Throw in Cade joining Jericho out of nowhere and things were certainly interesting. They covered a few things here and that’s nice to see for a main event.

Post match the beatdown is on but John Cena runs in for the save. HHH and Cena get in a fight but Jericho and Cade take them both out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The action was good and they’re turning Night Of Champions into something big, but at the end of the day, the Vince money stuff is getting annoying fast. They’re trying to throw in some jokes here and there but there is only so much that can be done with someone getting a phone call, saying a password, and winning money. Next week is the Draft though and that should change things up more than enough.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw – May 12, 2008: Power Couple?

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 12, 2008
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home Raw for Judgment Day and the title match is set. Unfortunately it hasn’t been the most well built match in the world, as it’s HHH vs. Randy Orton in a cage, which is only so interesting. Other than that, John vs. JBL and Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho are going to beef up the card well enough, with the final push coming tonight. Oh and General Manage William Regal is insane. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of HHH and Mr. Kennedy losing to ECW last week, followed by Randy Orton taking HHH out.

Lilian Garcia is in the ring with William Regal, who has her sing God Save The Queen. Regal reminds the fans that he can have everyone thrown out and goes to the floor, where he has two fans ejected. Mickie James comes out to beg Regal to rethink what he did (possibly saying it was her brother and his girlfriend), so Regal threatens to strip her of the Women’s Title.

Cue John Cena to interrupt, with James leaving rather quickly. Cena tries to get Regal to calm down, but Regal says Vince McMahon put him in this spot. Cena: “Vince McMahon is insane.” We hear some emails from fans, complaining about Regal’s recent actions. Cena: “This is WCW Thunder bad.” One fan wants to start a FIRE REGAL chant (yes he included the claps) so there go the live fans.

Regal promises to not cut the lights off tonight and knows that Cena wants revenge on Randy Orton, so they can be in the main event. Cena wants to know when JBL will interfere, but Regal bans interference (how this is different than any other match isn’t clear). Regal hopes he has gotten some respect from Cena, but Cena says that was just making a good match. Also, Regal needs to learn that this is the United States of America, so he has Garcia sing Respect. Garcia sings the heck out of it but doesn’t get much of a reaction until the ending.

Tag Team Titles: Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes vs. Santino Marella/Carlito

Holly and Rhodes are defending and Roddy Piper is sitting at ringside. Holly runs Santino over to start and hangs him over the ropes for the kick to the questionable area (Piper approves). It’s off to Carlito for a cheap shot to take over and Santino gets to drop some elbows. A suplex gets Holly out of trouble though and it’s Cody coming in to hammer away. Cody hits a crossbody and powerslam but Santino pops back up. Piper offers a distraction though and it’s a DDT to retain the titles. Short and to the point here, now PLEASE FIND SOME NEW CHALLENGERS.

We look back at Shawn Michaels hurting his knee at Backlash, with commentary not sure if he is telling the truth or not.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Snitsky

Snitsky powers him into the corner to start and then does it again for a bonus. An elbow gives Snitsky two and we’re already in a bearhug. Kennedy slugs his way to freedom but gets shouldered right back down. Back up and Kennedy gets smart by starting in on the leg, with a chop block getting two. Kennedy has to slip out of a pumphandle and its’ the Mic Check for the pin.

Rating: C. It’s almost weird to see Kennedy getting a win like this but it did give him a bit of momentum on his way to…whatever it is he has going on at the moment. Kennedy is someone who could be a star if he actually gets a maintained push and beating Snitsky is a tiny start. Snitsky continues to play his role perfectly: a giant with some power who can look intimidating and lose almost every time without much trouble.

Santino Marella is mad about Roddy Piper costing him a title because this isn’t the 80s anymore. Vengeance is sworn.

Mickie James thanks John Cena for the save earlier….and invites him out for drinks with her brother and his girlfriend. Cena mocks being too serious to do that and says he’d love to go, but it could be a wild night. Mickie can go for wild and things get a bit awkward but they’re cool.

Melina/Beth Phoenix vs. Maria/Mickie James

Mickie kicks Melina up to the ropes to start but Melina reverses, only to knock off the apron by mistake. Mickie gets taken into the corner…as Beth walks out. A neckbreaker gives Mickie the fast pin.

Here is Chris Jericho for a chat. Jericho shows us the clip of Shawn Michaels injuring his knee at Backlash and talks about a fan poll with 72% of the fans giving Shawn the benefit of the doubt. He doesn’t buy it though and we see Shawn throwing a superkick in their tag match last week. That superkick made him change his mind and now he’s willing to call off their match at Judgment Day.

Cue Shawn to make a confession: yeah he faked the knee injury. Jericho doesn’t buy it because he isn’t falling for these mind games. Shawn tries to say it’s true but Jericho doesn’t believe him…..so there’s a superkick. Shawn: “Trust me when I tell you: I’m not hurt.” He flips out of the ring and walks off just fine. So there’s a twist.

We get a surprise as Jeff Hardy returns from a suspension. He didn’t want to go but he made a mistake and had to pay for it. Hardy wants the Intercontinental Title back but gets cut off by William Regal. No one wants to hear from Hardy, who deserves punishment. Like a match with this man.

Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga

Umaga runs him over to start and hits the middle rope headbutt. The hip attack misses in the corner though and Hardy hits the Twist of Fate for the pin out of nowhere.

Video on John Cena vs. JBL.

Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Cryme Tyme

Murdoch runs JTG into the corner to start but JTG does the same to him, allowing the tag off to Shad. Some hard shots allow JTG to get two off a sunset flip but Cade comes in to kick JTG in the face. Murdoch comes back in and sits down on another sunset flip attempt to pin JTG in another fast match.

Post match Cade is happy with the victory and thinks Murdoch’s singing made it work. Murdoch gets to sing the victory song, which is The Gambler by Kenny Rogers. Then Cade punches him in the face and walks off.

Smackdown Rebound.

Melina asks Beth Phoenix what was up with walking out on her earlier. Beth blames Melina for the title loss last week….and then slams her into a locker over and over to leave Melina laying.

Judgment Day rundown.

Randy Orton talks about how he beat John Cena and HHH at Wrestlemania so he’ll do it again tonight and at Judgment Day.

Randy Orton vs. John Cena

Orton goes with a headlock to start but Cena is right back out with some right hands. The release fisherman’s suplex gives Cena two but Orton’s backbreaker gets the same. Orton’s stomp to the head is blocked though and Cena shoves him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Orton losing control of a chinlock but snapping off a powerslam for two.

The chinlock goes back on but Cena fights up again. The RKO is blocked though and the top rope Fameasser connects. Hold on though as here are William Regal….and JBL, who is now guest referee because Mike Chioda is incompetent. Cena knocks JBL off the apron and tries the AA on Orton. JBL is back in with a big boot and a very fast count gives Orton the pin.

Rating: C+. Just like the main event of last week’s Smackdown, you could probably count down the time until the evil boss did something evil. You knew Regal wasn’t going to let Cena have a clean match with Orton here and it was all about how JBL was going to interfere. Cena and Orton work well enough together and they didn’t have time to overstay their welcomes here.

Post match the big brawl is on with HHH coming in. The double brawls are on, with the John’s fighting into the crowd. The cage (hey there’s a cage) is lowered and HHH knocks Orton to the floor, leaving Orton panicking to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was one of those odd shows where pretty much everything was set up for the pay per view so this was all about keeping things settled. Other than Shawn admitting he was faking the injury, there wasn’t a ton of new stuff on here. Well save for Cena and James possibly becoming a thing, which is probably going to be something for later anyway. Not an awful show, but not one you need to see either.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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