Monday Night Raw – April 28, 2008: He Does Good Crazy

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 28, 2008
Location: IZOD Center, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 17,166
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with Backlash and the big story is that HHH won the Raw World Title from Randy Orton in the four way main event. That alone should be enough to make things interesting tonight but we also have Shawn Michaels defeating Batista after taking advantage of his own knee injury. That sounds like it could go somewhere, so let’s get to it.

Here is Backlash if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of HHH winning the Raw World Title in last night’s four way elimination match.

Here is HHH to get things going, complete with big shiny belt. HHH declares The Age Of Orton officially dead and now we pause because they are chanting his name. Eight months ago, he wasn’t sure if he was ever going to return to the ring and now he knows that The Game is back. Cue Randy Orton to interrupt and he isn’t overly pleased. Orton talks about how the odds were stacked against him last night but HHH brings up Orton being all confident before the match. Now he’s the victim? Orton: “The victim of my own success. I was so dominant they wouldn’t put me against anyone one on one.”

HHH thinks Orton liked the idea of hiding behind these multiman matches but Orton has already got the rematch set for Judgment Day in less than three weeks. HHH says he bragged too, but in his case, it was the truth. Orton gets in his face and is knocked out with a single shot, sending Orton to the floor. He’ll just have his rematch clause tonight instead. They got to the point pretty fast here.

Post break, the title match is on.

Mickie James/Maria/Ashley/Michelle McCool/Cherry/Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina/Jillian Hall/Natalya/Victoria/Layla

Backlash rematch and it’s a big brawl before the bell rings. We settle down for the opening bell and Beth decking Kelly from behind. Beth powers her straight into the corner and hands it off to Victoria. The spinning side slam is countered into a headscissors but Victoria takes her straight into the corner. Melina’s running/screaming hip attack in the corner gets two and Jillian comes in, only to miss her handspring elbow. Mickie comes in to clean house and gets a bridging rollup to pin Jillian.

Rating: D+. Well they made good time, but a twelve woman match where half of them don’t get in isn’t exactly a rampaging success. They didn’t have time to do anything here and this would have been better off as a two on two tag match instead. There is some talent in the division, but with only the Raw title to fight over, it leaves a lot of them without much to do save for appearances like this one.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Robbie McCallister

Rory is here with Robbie and the beating is on quickly. The Clothesline from JBL finishes at around a minute, which has me wondering if this was punishment for Robbie popping up in the crowd at Impact around Wrestlemania the previous month.

Post match JBL grabs a headset and blames John Cena for not winning the title last night. He wants the winner of tonight’s title match.

Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Trevor Murdoch/Lance Cade

Cade and London start things off with Cade hitting a high backdrop for an early two. Murdoch comes in to hammer away as the fans are dubbing this boring. London slips away and brings in Kendrick to pick up the pace, with Murdoch screaming at Cade. Murdoch comes in and is promptly rolled up for the pin.

Post match Murdoch grabs the mic, gets on the announcers’ table, and since I Got Friends In Low Places. Cade is adequately confused by the whole thing.

We look at Shawn Michaels tweaking his knee last night against Batista but rolling him up for the pin anyway.

Paul Burchill/Katie Lea Burchill vs. Super Crazy

Before the match, Katie thanks William Regal for making this a handicap match. Paul wastes no time in taking Crazy down, allowing Katie to hit a running boot to the face. Crazy avoids a charge in the corner though and kicks Paul down. The moonsault misses though and Katie’s missile dropkick sets up the curb stomp to give Paul the face pin. Short and to the point here.

Randy Orton is asked if he has second thoughts about using his rematch clause tonight. Orton: “No.”

And now, the official coronation of William Regal (thank goodness it isn’t one of those knockoffs). Regal, on the throne in the ring, says (in between some hardcore WHATing) he will now be General Manager AND King because he has earned both titles. You will have no choice but to respect and fear him, because he is your ruler, better and…..here’s Mr. Kennedy to interrupt.

Kennedy can’t congratulate Regal for the win because he wasn’t even in the tournament in the first place. He hits the catchphrase but Regal cuts him off and says get an appointment/make an apology. Kennedy teases an apology before switching to his catchphrase instead. Regal punches him down and referees have to make it up. Kennedy felt more like a star here and I was feeling the hype that he has had for so long here. This worked, and that’s kind of a rare thing for Kennedy these days.

Cody Rhodes vs. Santino Marella

Hardcore Holly and Carlito are here too. Before the match, Santino says he DOES NOT like the fake Italians on the Sopranos, which is set right here in New Jersey. Santino actually knocks him down and hammers away a bit to start before dodging a high crossbody. We hit the chinlock for a bit before a hard hiptoss (yes a hiptoss) of all things gets two. Rhodes fights up and hits a quick DDT for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not much to this one, but the bigger problem continues to be how long these teams have been feuding. There are other teams around, but for some reason these two have to feud for the better part of ever. Rhodes and Holly have already beaten them, so why are we still stuck on this feud?

Post match Cody mocks Santino’s accent and gets taken down with the Backstabber.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel and Chris Jericho is in a tuxedo. Jericho is here to present an award for the Best Actor in Sports Entertainment. The nominees are:

Mr. Fuji and the Magnificent Muraco in Fuji General
Michael Cole in Deliverance Part II (as in the infamous Heidenreich segment, complete with banjo music)
Shawn Michaels pretending to have a knee injury at Backlash

Why yes, Shawn does win, so here he is to accept, limping all the way down the ramp. Jericho wants an acceptance speech, but Shawn insists that he is really hurt. That doesn’t go well with Jericho, who thinks Shawn goes from good to bad faster than anyone. Shawn would even try superkicking him with the bad leg if there was no podium between them. That doesn’t get anything from Shawn, so Jericho has Shawn’s music play before leaving. I think we might be coming back to this one.

Santino Marella bumps into a woman he finds attractive….but it’s really Roddy Piper. Santino brings up the Goonies music video but Piper has no time for this. There’s your bizarre cameo of the week.

We recap HHH winning the Raw World Title last night.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

HHH is defending and we even get a weapons check to make it feel special. They fight over a lockup to start and go straight to the staredown. A shoulder puts HHH down and Orton grabs a headlock to grind away a bit. HHH is right back with a headlock of his own, followed by some aggressive arm cranking. Orton misses a charge into the post and the arm is suddenly in bad shape. The arm is sent into the barricade but Orton’s legs are fine enough to score with a kick on the way back in.

We take a break and come back with Orton hammering away (with the good arm) in the corner. A dropkick gives Orton two and we hit the chinlock. Orton grabs a suplex and gets in the circle stomp to keep things slow. The big knee drop gets two as JR says Orton isn’t looking to make a mistake. How does one exactly “look to make a mistake”?

Anyway they head outside with HHH being sent into the steps for two, meaning we’re right back to the chinlock. HHH fights up but charges into a boot, allowing Orton to load up a blocked RKO. The facebuster and a clothesline put Orton down but he’s right back with a powerslam for two of his own.

The backbreaker gives Orton two more, only to have HHH crotch him on top. There’s the superplex for a delayed HHH two but the Pedigree and RKO are both countered. HHH grabs the crossface….and we go to the back, where William Regal says he isn’t having this disrespect. The fans who booed him earlier don’t deserve to see this match so the feed is cut. JR and King keep doing commentary as the black screen takes us out.

Rating: B-. That was certainly a unique ending but the match itself wasn’t that great on the way there. HHH and Orton have some chemistry together, but I’ve yet to see them really get to that epic match. The good thing is that this should get rid of the rematch clause for now, but you can almost guarantee another match at the pay per view. Some people just can’t get to that next level and save for maybe once before, that would apply to these two as well.

Overall Rating: C. This was a weird show as the Regal stuff and main event were both good, along with what feels like the start of Shawn vs. Jericho, but everything else was fast or bad. Regal going insane works rather well though, and we could be in for quite the run from him going forward. That makes for quite the different stretch of two hours, though it feels like we’re getting something of a sequel to Backlash at Judgment Day. That’s an odd way to go, but Backlash was rather good so it might work out very well.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – April 14, 2008: They Need To Get There Already

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 14, 2008
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Attendance: 17,363
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re over in England this week with less than two weeks to go before Backlash. The Raw World Title match at the pay per view is now a four way and that means we should be in for some build on the way in. Other than that, Batista and Shawn Michaels aren’t happy with each other and that likely won’t end well. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

William Regal is drinking tea in his office when JBL comes in. JBL doesn’t care where we are tonight or that Regal is wrestling in his home country. What he cares about is that Regal has become spineless, just like Prime Minister Gordon Brown. Why are John Cena and HHH in his title match at Backlash? Regal didn’t want a match as awful as Orton vs. JBL, which doesn’t work for JBL either. He wants out of here on a private plane, but Regal gives him a match with HHH instead (the fans approve).

Opening sequence.

Here is Shawn Michaels to get things going. He recaps the build up to and match with Ric Flair at Wrestlemania, where Shawn gave Flair his best, just as requested. That should have been closure and everyone is cool with it….except for Batista. Last week on Smackdown, we came to the realization that Batista’s problem is with Shawn himself (Shawn: “Shocking.”).

Back in 1998, doctors told him he would never wrestle again but he came back in 2002, proving them all wrong. He has done a lot of things in the past though and now he is tired of apologizing. At Backlash, Shawn is going to kick Batista’s teeth down his throat….but here is Ric Flair….’s music, as Chris Jericho comes out instead (the fans are NOT pleased). Jericho says Batista thinks Shawn is a phony, but Jericho knows that what Shawn loves the most is Shawn Michaels.

In reality, Shawn probably liked taking out Flair and probably wanted to send him through a barber shop window. Jericho thinks Batista is being irrational about Flair being gone, but he isn’t being irrational about Shawn. Maybe Shawn is the one who suggested the retirement stipulation in the first place. Then Shawn superkicks him silly and says he’ll admit this: that felt pretty good. This story is getting better, though that might be because it moved on from the Flair worship.

Carlito/Santino Marella vs. Brian Kendrick/Paul London

For a future title shot. Santino and London start things off with London taking over. Carlito comes in with London dragging him over to the corner so Kendrick can come in with the kicks. Carlito gets in a sitout spinebuster as we see Hardcore Holly and Carlito watching in the back. The villains take turns beating Kendrick down but he slips over and brings in London to pick up the pace. Everything breaks down and Kendrick misses a hard charge to the floor. London dropkicks Santino tot he floor but gets Backstabbed to give Carlito the pin.

Rating: C-. I’m not sure what WWE sees in Marella and Carlito but it feels like they have fought Holly and Rhodes over and over again at this point. The division needs a lot more depth and it would seem that London and Kendrick could be quite the option. Instead, we get the low level team who might not exactly be the most inspiring choice. The division hasn’t been good for a long time now and the lows are getting even worse.

Post match Santino and Carlito promise to get the titles.

Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Mickie James

Mickie is challenging and gets powered down without much trouble to start. Some forearms and kicks slow Beth down but she rams Mickie hard into the corner. A slingshot suplex sets up a dragon sleeper (that’s a unique sequence) but Mickie fights up again. This time Beth pulls her into a double arm chickenwing, with Mickie’s legs around her waist (ow).

Since that can’t last long, Mickie sends her into the corner and Beth is rocked. The MickieDT is cut off though but Mickie is fine enough to hit the top rope Thesz press for two (which JR calls a bulldog for some reason). The Glam Slam is loaded up but Mickie reverses into a cradle for the pin and the title out of nowhere.

Rating: C+. You really can see how much further along these two are in the ring as they had a much better match than almost any other women in the company could pull off. Mickie winning the title makes the England show feel bigger, but also Beth had carried the title for a long time and a change was needed. The fact that it took place in a good match made it even better.

Post match Mickie can’t believe she won, with Maria and Ashley coming out to celebrate with her. Mickie is so happy that she kisses Todd Grisham.

William Regal is warming up and suggests Mike Adamle let him get ready. Chris Jericho comes in to talk about Shawn Michaels vs. Batista, so Regal makes him guest referee. Jericho wants to wrestle, so he can face Umaga tonight.

JTG vs. Trevor Murdoch

Shad Gaspard and Lance Cade are here too. Earlier today, Cade gave Murdoch a pep talk, which didn’t seem to include getting dropkicked by JTG. A big boot drops JTG for two and we’re already off to the chinlock. Murdoch goes up for a high crossbody but JTG rolls through for the surprise pin.

Post match Cade pats Murdoch on the back and walks away without him.

Here is Randy Orton for a chat before his match. Orton talks about how the win at Backlash is only going to make him feel like a bigger star because we are living in his age.

William Regal vs. Randy Orton

Non-title. Regal neck bridges to avoid getting powered to the mat so they go with the test of strength instead. The fans are WAY behind Regal as Orton gets flipped into a bodyscissors. Orton’s headlock doesn’t get very far but his backbreaker has Regal writhing in pain.

We hit the chinlock and the fans still haven’t dropped the LET’S GO REGAL chants. Regal fights up and grabs a reverse fisherman’s suplex, sending Orton bailing to the floor. Back in and a running knee gives Regal two before he starts stomping on the leg. The referee won’t let him do it near the legs though, and the distraction is enough for Orton to grab the RKO for the pin.

Rating: C+. The intensity was there and the fans were way behind Regal, which makes Orton getting the win all the better for him. Orton is the top villain around at the moment and as Regal was always going to be incredibly popular here, it makes Regal feel like bigger threat. If nothing else, it is nice to see Regal being all intense and focused here, as you don’t get to see it very often.

Umaga is ready for Chris Jericho.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Umaga

Jericho is defending and gets knocked to the apron early on. Back up and Jericho dropkicks the knee before striking away as well as he can. That earns him an elbow to the face but Umaga isn’t quite interested in following up in a hurry. Jericho gets launched hard over the top for a crash to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Umaga knocking him out of the corner and the nerve hold going on. With that broken up, Jericho avoids a charge to send him outside, followed by the baseball slide through the ropes. Umaga takes Jericho’s head off with a clothesline but Jericho gets the knees up to block a sitdown splash.

Jericho tries a slam for no logical reason and is whipped hard into the apron to put him down again. The running hip attack misses though and Jericho scores with the missile dropkick to the back of the head. The Walls are blocked so Umaga Samoan drops him for two, only to miss the Samoan Spike. Umaga kicks him into the corner but misses the splash and hits the post. That’s enough for Jericho to roll him up (with feet on the ropes) to retain in a bit of a shifty move.

Rating: B-. This was a back and forth match and the two of them both looked good. Jericho had to cheat to beat Umaga but he survived so much from Umaga in the first place. That being said, Jericho has been needing a shakeup for the time being and maybe a heel turn is the right way to go. Good match here and the amount of time it got helped.

Jim Duggan vs. Paul Burchill

Katie Lea Burchill is here with Paul. Duggan gets jumped at the bell to start and the beating is on, with the fans not being pleased with Duggan getting mauled. Back up and Duggan slugs away but a corner clothesline sets up a curb stomp to give Paul the pin.

After plugging his DVD, HHH says he’s going to make JBL play the game.

Backlash rundown.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. HHH

Joined in progress with HHH grabbing a headlock takeover to put them both on the mat. JBL powers up and drives him into the corner, meaning it’s time to go nose to nose (HHH might have an advantage). A neckbreaker gives HHH two and we hit the armbar. That’s broken up and JBL knocks him down again, setting up a full nelson of all things. HHH powers up and slugs away, setting up the facebuster. A running clothesline sends JBL to the floor and the brawl is on in the aisle…and here is Randy Orton to jump HHH for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Pretty basic match as JBL isn’t the person you want doing exciting stuff. This was just a way to get Orton out there for the fight with the two of them, which isn’t much of a surprise with the four way coming up. JBL just can’t back it up in the ring that well without a bunch of shenanigans so keeping it short here was as good of a call as they had.

Post match Orton unloads on HHH, who comes back with the spinebuster. The Pedigree is loaded up but JBL breaks it up with a big boot. Now the big double teaming is on, including the RKO to HHH. The Punt is loaded up but JBL cuts Orton off with the Clothesline From JBL (that looked good too). JBL poses with the title and hits another Clothesline on HHH before posing again to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. These British shows can be a bit all over the place when it comes to quality and this one was no exception. Maybe it was jet lag or maybe it was just not very interesting choices but the show wasn’t the most thrilling. Backlash has come together well enough already and I’m interested in seeing the show, but this wasn’t their best TV. The title change was fun and the Jericho stuff worked, though the rest wasn’t all that good. Get to Backlash already.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – April 7, 2008: Fighting Over Flair

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 7, 2008
Location: Times Union Center, Albany, New York
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re officially out of Wrestlemania season and the build to Backlash has begun. We should be in for some big stuff going forward, apparently including JBL coming after Randy Orton’s Raw World Title. They are going to need something to go with that, and Shawn Michaels vs. Batista might be on the list as well. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is William Regal to get things going and he wastes no time in bringing out Randy Orton. Regal isn’t done and introduces Orton’s new #1 contender for Backlash: JBL. With Regal starting to hype up the match, here is HHH to interrupt. HHH isn’t clear on something and asks if Regal is out of his frickin mind.

He doesn’t understand how he is being left out of the title match, as Orton pinned John Cena at Wrestlemania. Also, how does JBL, who was a commentator for two years, get a title shot for beating up Hornswoggle? Regal makes a handicap match for tonight, with HHH having to beat JBL and Orton to get into the Backlash title match. They kept this to the point, but Orton vs. JBL is going to have to be changed due to reasons of bleck.

Umaga vs. Val Venis

Venis slugs away to start and avoids a charge into the corner. That’s about it for the offense though as Umaga runs him over and puts on the nerve hold. The Samoan drop plants Venis and it’s the running hip attack in the corner. Umaga nails the Samoan Spike for the fast pin.

Rating: D+. Total destruction here and that shouldn’t be a big surprise. Umaga needed a win to get him back on the right track after the pretty terrible Wrestlemania match against Batista. Venis is capable of making anyone look better, even if it is in near complete squash. This did what it needed to do and they did it in a hurry.

Mickie James/Ashley vs. Melina/Jillian Hall

Jillian kicks at Ashley to start but gets caught in a quick hurricanrana. Melina gets in a cheap shot to take over and a wheelbarrow slam/faceplant combination gets two. A missed charge in the corner lets Ashley get over for the tag to Mickie so house can be cleaned. Melina hits the double knees in the corner to cut James off though as everything breaks down. The Mickie DT finishes Melina to end a rather sloppy match.

We look back at Ric Flair having to retire and then his farewell.

Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Brian Kendrick/Paul London

London and Kendrick jump them at the bell with Kendrick being sent outside fast. London is fine enough to hit a dropsault for two on Cade but a hard clothesline puts him down. Murdoch kicks away at London and Cade grabs a neck crank. With that broken up, London avoids a charge and it’s back to Kendrick to clean house. Cade clotheslines him down but a small package gives Kendrick the pin.

Rating: C. Just a quick match here with Kendrick and London continuing to get back on track. They needed to win a few matches after losing over and over so this is going to help boost them back up. It was a quick win, but that’s better than losing over and over. Now just get them into the title picture, as a handful of wins is enough to get them there.

Randy Orton tells JBL to stay out of his way out there.

HHH vs. Randy Orton/John Bradshaw Layfield

If HHH wins, he’s in the Backlash title match and William Regal is at ringside. Orton and JBL are already in the ring, which is quite the weird way to treat the pay per view main event. HHH and Orton punch each other to start with HHH having to fight out of the corner. JBL comes in and gets stared down by HHH, which makes him back off.

A headlock takeover takes JBL over and things slow down a bit (yes, during the JBL portion believe it or not). Some double teaming takes HHH down for a change and the Orton knee drop gets two. HHH fights out of the corner but walks into a powerslam for two more. JBL grabs the sleeper but HHH fights out, bringing Orton back in. The RKO is loaded up, only to have HHH reverse into the Pedigree for the fast pin.

Rating: C+. This was kind of a weird one but the action worked well enough. What matters is getting HHH into the pay per view title match, as JBL vs. Orton was never going to happen. Other than that, you have the Cena factor and I’m sure he’ll be involved in something. For now though, it was a good way to go for a bit of a twist.

Post match Regal is about to announce the triple threat but John Cena comes out to interrupt. Cena talks about how he’s beaten HHH and JBL (it’s been awhile for the latter) and he beat Orton at Backlash last year. He wants it to be a four way but Regal says Cena has to beat HHH and JBL in a triple threat match tonight to get in.

Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes vs. Carlito/Santino Marella

Non-title. Carlito works on Cody’s arm to start but Rhodes switches into a headlock. It’s quickly off to Holly to load up the Alabama Slam on Santino, with Carlito making a fast save. The referee isn’t counting Carlito’s illegal cover so Carlito drops a leg for two. Holly knocks him away so Santino comes back in, only to get kicked down. Cody comes back in to clean house, including crotching Santino on top. Carlito makes a save though and Santino’s saluting top rope elbow gets the pin.

Rating: D+. The fact that a team like Carlito and Santino are getting a clean win over the Tag Team Champions tells you what the titles mean right now. There is pretty much no one else available to fight for the titles and the division desperately needs some fresh blood. Granted that has been the case for a long time so I wouldn’t get my hopes up.

Cryme Tyme has some Wrestlemania merchandise for us, including some of Rocky Johnson’s soul (as scraped off of him), a signed copy of Maria’s Playboy (they stop and look for a bit and then decide the item is no longer available) and finally, a pair of Kim Kardashian’s underwear. Actually it wasn’t her dressing room though, and it turns out they belong to Mae Young. This team can be funny, but they can also be cringe inducing.

JBL comes up to HHH to talk about an alliance tonight, but HHH has his headphones in.

Beth Phoenix vs. Maria

Non-title. Maria slaps her in the face to start and manages a kick to the head, only to be slammed into the ropes. Beth sends her ribs first into the post, setting up a Boston crab…with Beth bending Maria backwards into a backbreaker (that was cool). Maria is back up with an awkward knee to the ribs and a high crossbody. The reverse DDT gives Maria two but Beth hits a hot shot into the fisherman’s buster for the pin. What did Maria do to get this kind of losing streak with the Playboy deal?

It’s time for the Highlight Reel with Chris Jericho bringing out Batista and Shawn Michaels. They all stood in this ring and cried over Ric Flair retiring and that is all because of Shawn. It was Flair who asked for Mr. Wrestlemania though and Jericho shows us Shawn missing the Asai moonsault onto the announcers’ table. Jericho brings up “I’m sorry, I love you” but Batista cuts them off and says everyone is calling out Shawn on what he did.

Batista hates what Shawn did but Shawn says Flair didn’t pick Batista because he didn’t have what it took. Shawn talks about the battles he has gone through over the years, which is what Batista says made trust him. Batista says Shawn did the wrong thing at Wrestlemania but Shawn is sick of being blamed. Batista glares at him and walks off.

Backstage, William Regal says that Vickie Guerrero has made Batista vs. Shawn Michaels for Backlash. Randy Orton complains about how his singles match has grown, so next week in England, Orton can face….Regal himself. Ok then.

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield/HHH

Again, no entrances for JBL and HHH. JBL kicks Cena in the head to start fast and grabs a DDT for a fast two. The slow beating continues but JBL won’t tag HHH in, despite his requests. A shoulder drops Cena for two as this is one sided so far. Cena gets thrown outside and a clothesline drops him again.

We hit the neck crank back inside as Randy Orton is now ringside to cheer the team on. Cena fights up and finally hits a clothesline to start the comeback and bring the fans back to live. HHH still won’t tag in as Cena hits the ProtoBomb but JBL breaks up the FU. Another big boot drops Cena again but HHH has finally had enough and brawls with JBL to the floor. Orton gets hit as well so he comes in and RKO’s JBL, allowing Cena to get the pin (HHH doesn’t seem to mind).

Rating: C. This was all about the build towards the Backlash main event, but HHH not wanting to keep Cena out of the match was a little strange. He already proved he can beat Orton and JBL on his own so why would he want to have Cena added in as a wild card? Even if he’s angry at JBL, it’s rather out of character for HHH to let his emotions get the better of himself like that.

Overall Rating: C-. Not their strongest show here as the build to the Backlash main event was different, but not exactly the most interesting way. Other than that, the biggest story is about avenging Ric Flair, because six months of “no, please don’t retire Ric Flair” just wasn’t enough. Batista apparently wishes Shawn had laid down for Flair at Wrestlemania and is willing to fight him over it, as Flair just can’t go away despite not being here. Not the greatest show here, but they’re still resetting things a bit after Wrestlemania.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – March 31, 2008: Leave Them Alone

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 31, 2008
Location: Amway Arena, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We are finally done with Wrestlemania and the big story on the Raw side is the retirement of Ric Flair. Shawn Michaels, who does in fact love him despite making apologies for it, superkicked Flair to end his career last night in a rather emotional moment. Other than that, Randy Orton is still Raw World Champion but we can worry about what he is doing at Backlash later. It’s the Raw after Wrestlemania so this should be different. Let’s get to it.

Here is Wrestlemania if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Ric Flair losing to Shawn Michaels in a big, emotional moment.

Here is John Cena…..’s music to get us going. There’s no Cena, so we get HHH…..’s music instead, but no HHH. Instead here is Randy Orton in person to get things going. Orton talks about how no one gave him a chance going into Wrestlemania and the question was all about who was going to pin him to win the title. No one ever wanted to give him any credit but now they have to show him respect. He lists off all of the people he has beaten and says we are now in the Age Of Orton.

Cue JBL of all people to say he deserves the next title shot. Orton’s entire title reign has been about luck while JBL beat up Finlay and Hornswoggle at Wrestlemania. Orton can’t beat him and never will be able to do so. JBL announces his candidacy for the title and leaves, with Orton being livid. Cue Matt Hardy through the crowd to go after Orton with referees breaking it up.

Post break Matt Hardy rants to William Regal about how he wants Orton in the ring tonight.

Cryme Tyme vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Cryme Tyme is back after being fired a few months ago. Cade hammers on Shad to start but a few shots break that up. JTG comes in for two off an Oklahoma roll but Cade blasts him with a clothesline. Cade drops Murdoch onto JTG for two more and the beating is on in the corner. Then Cade misses a charge into the corner and gets rolled up for the fast pin. Out of nowhere ending but the fans popped hard for Cryme Tyme’s return.

Video on Ric Flair’s career, which is still an awesome look back.

Here is a fairly somber Shawn Michaels for a chat. Shawn says he is a bit conflicted here, as he was asked to be Mr. Wrestlemania last night and he isn’t sure how he feels about that. He had a job to do last night and loved and respects Ric Flair to do anything less than his best. Now the greatest career in wrestling is over and he has to live with it. Shawn: “Lucky me.” And with that, he leaves.

Post break, William Regal tries to console Shawn, saying it had to be done and it should have been a long time ago. Regal leaves, and Batista is seen glaring at Shawn.

Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. Cody Rhodes/Hardcore Holly

Non-title. Cody and Kendrick have a feeling out process to start with Kendrick going to the ropes to escape the wristlock. Holly comes in and actually gets forearmed back by London. That’s about the extent of the odd though as Holly unloads on him with chops in the corner. Everything breaks down and Cody bulldogs Kendrick down, with London making the save. Holly and London are sent outside, leaving Kendrick to grab an O’Connor roll for the pin.

Rating: C. I’m never wild on champions losing but Holly and Rhodes have no one to fight and London/Kendrick had a lot more miles left in them. Even if this is just a quick title program, it’s better than sitting around doing nothing or facing Cade and Murdoch again. Not exactly a classic but it did what it needed to do.

We look at the Ric Flair vs. Ricky Steamboat series.

Wrestlemania highlight package.

Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk

Non-title. They go straight to the strikes with Jericho getting the better of it, setting up the front facelock. An exchange of rollups gets two each and Jericho clotheslines him down for two more. A backsplash (with Jericho grinning evily) sets up a chinlock with a knee in Punk’s back. As Lawler tries to remember the name Jean Claude Van Damme, Jericho misses the triangle dropkick but is fine enough to knock Punk off the apron.

Punk manages a neck snap across the top and the springboard clothesline hits Jericho in the back of the head. Punk’s dropkick misses but Jericho misses the Lionsault and bangs up his knee. Some kicks to the leg look to set up the GTS but Jericho reverses into the Walls attempt. With that not working, Jericho grabs the Codebreaker for the clean pin.

Rating: C+. That’s not a great start to Punk’s time as Mr. Money In The Bank but at least he has a get out of the midcard free card for later. Jericho is the Intercontinental Champion but still feels like he’s just kind of there. Granted just handing him the title because Jeff Hardy screwed up didn’t help things.

Ric Flair won the 1992 Royal Rumble.

Here is Big Show for a chat. Show congratulates Floyd Mayweather Jr. for needing a bunch of bodyguards, a steel chair and brass knuckles to remind the greatest fighter on the planet. For now though, Show is out here because of the Hall Of Fame. Ric Flair stood at the podium and said that despite facing Andre the Giant, Show was the greatest big man he ever faced. That meant the world to Show, who is going to go back to what he does best. He is going to make a promise….but gets cut off by Great Khali. We get the big showdown, Show tells him to get out of his face, and Khali does. Feels Backlashish.

Santino Marella is warming up before his anything goes match with Maria, who comes up and begs him to not go forward with the match. Santino mocks the Divas, saying they should be at home in the kitchen, making lunch and babies. He offers to let the match go in exchange for some other kind of release, earning a slap to the face. The match is on.

Matt Hardy vs. Randy Orton

Non-title. They go straight to the floor to start with Hardy getting the better of a brawl. Back in and Hardy sends him into the corner a few times before a neckbreaker gets two. We take a break and come back with Hardy fighting out of a chinlock so Orton slowly hammers away.

A belly to back superplex is broken up and Hardy’s moonsault press gets two. Hardy wins a slugout and grabs another neckbreaker. The middle rope legdrop doesn’t get to launch as Orton rolls outside, so Hardy dives onto him instead. There’s the Twist of Fate on the floor but it takes some time to get Orton back inside. So much time that Orton grabs the RKO back inside for the fast pin.

Rating: C+. Hardy may not be quite the biggest star in the world at this point but he can still wrestle a completely decent, if not better, match. It helps that he lost to the World Champion, which is hardly some career killer. Nice enough TV match here, with Hardy working hard and Orton getting a win to keep his momentum going.

Dusty Rhodes praises Ric Flair’s career.

JBL glares at Randy Orton.

Maria vs. Santino Marella

Anything goes. Santino shoves her down to start so here are mot of the Divas to beat him up (Victoria seems to be twisting his nipples). Maria adds the falling low blow headbutt and gets the pin.

Here is Ric Flair for his big farewell speech. Flair will never wrestle again but he is not sad about it. You should be happy that he got to have the greatest career of all time and lost to a great wrestler and better man. He has had more fun and loved all of us every day of his life. Flair thanks the fans and goes to leave, but here is HHH to interrupt (Flair is already in tears).

HHH says a lot of people want to say thank you, starting with himself of course. Now that being said, there are some other people backstage who want to say thank you. There was one group of guys in the back and since HHH was talking to them, his hand keeps creeping up into four fingers. Cue the Four Horsemen (Tully Blanchard, JJ Dillon, Arn Anderson, Barry Windham) and Flair is just done.

This is followed by Batista, Ricky Steamboat, Harley Race, Greg Valentine, Dean Malenko, Chris Jericho, John Cena (maybe not the best time for “Your time is up”), Flair’s family, and Shawn Michaels (with the camera catching a quick glare from Batista). HHH points out the matching watches Shawn and Flair have before just having the rest of the locker room come out.

After a long celebration and a lot of hugging, we get some bonus footage from after the show (brilliantly titles AFTER THE SHOW) with Undertaker coming to the ring. The wrestlers in the aisle part so he can walk by (that’s such a cool visual) and the ring clears out. Undertaker does the full entrance, including taking off the coat and hat, as Flair isn’t sure what is going on.

We get the hug and Undertaker drops to his knee for the pose to Flair in a great show of respect. Leave The Memories Alone plays and even Vince McMahon comes out for a hug of his own (despite starting all of this). Vince yanks Flair’s arm to hold it up for the posing before leaving the ring to Flair. The family gets back in and Flair gets to soak in a lot of cheering (and dropping the elbow/knee on his coat for old times’ sake) before walking up the aisle to his own music to end the show.

This was a very special moment and it felt like the kind of tribute that Flair deserved. Like him or not, Flair is one of the biggest names in modern wrestling and getting to see him getting this huge celebration was great. The amount of talent in the ring alone made this feel special, with the fact that they were there for one person making it even better. Awesome stuff and one of the best moments WWE has had in a long time.

Overall Rating: B. This was the post Wrestlemania Raw and while it didn’t have the big storyline moment, it did have the huge Flair tribute at the end and it felt like a special two hours. They can get to the bigger stuff next week, but for now we had a mixture of a deep breath after Wrestlemania and some stuff being set up for the future. Good show this week, with the Flair stuff more than carrying it to the next level.

 

 

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ECW On Sci Fi – March 25, 2008: End This Already

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: March 25, 2008
Location: Crown Coliseum, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s the final ECW before Wrestlemania and that means pretty much nothing around here. There is no title match set for Wrestlemania as it is going to be all about the battle royal. I’m not sure what that is going to leave us to do on this show but maybe they have one more week of nothing before things, at least hopefully, reset next week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes/Kofi Kingston/Kane/Tommy Dreamer/Jesse & Festus/Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore/Jim Duggan/Val Venis/Jamie Noble vs. Great Khali/Miz/Chuck Palumbo/Matt Striker/Mark Henry/Snitsky/Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch/Brian Kendrick/Deuce N Domino/Elijah Burke

Because THIS is a good idea. This is all twenty four entrants into the battle royal thrown into a tag match, which makes me wonder how many people the aprons can hold. Cody rolls Kendrick up for a fast two and then backslides him for the same. It’s quickly off to Noble vs. Palumbo, with the latter grabbing a belly to back suplex.

Yang comes in off some of that Jung Dragons chemistry but gets suplexed for his efforts. A middle rope hurricanrana gets Yang out of trouble and it’s time for a parade of dives. We take a break and come back with everything breaking down, as you might have expected. Kofi dives onto Deuce N Domino and Holly gets to hit an Alabama Slam. Khali and Kane have finally had enough of this and start wrecking people. With the two of them down, Henry feeds Dreamer into a big boot from Snitsky for the pin.

Rating: C. This is one of those matches that isn’t about the action itself but rather telling you what you might be seeing on Sunday. In that sense it worked out well enough, but my goodness the battle royal might as well have about three people. Chavo almost has to lose at this point as there is just nothing to his title reign and someone else can take the title to hopefully do something with it.

Post match everyone gets in the ring for the huge staredown.

Boxing personalities talk about Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr.

Chavo Guerrero comes up to mock the injured Tommy Dreamer. A match is set for tonight, thanks to some insults to Colin Delaney (sure why not).

Shelton Benjamin vs. Carlito

Feeling out process to start with Carlito slugging away as Taz says he has been hit in the face with a ladder in a match but never had a ladder match. Benjamin skins the cat but Carlito snaps his throat across the top for a crash to the floor. We hit the chinlock back inside and the fans do not seem impressed. Benjamin fights up but gets knocked back into the corner as this isn’t exactly burning up the mat.

Another chinlock goes on but this time Benjamin electric chairs his way to freedom. Carlito is back with a neckbreaker for two and we hit the chinlock with a knee in Benjamin’s back. Benjamin finally makes the comeback and hits the overhead belly to belly. A neckbreaker gives Carlito two more but the Backstabber is countered into a buckle bomb. Paydirt is countered into a backbreaker to give Carlito two more but Benjamin catches him on top. A super Paydirt finishes Carlito off.

Rating: C-. These two were left out there to fill in as much time as they could and it didn’t exactly work. There were far too many chinlocks to get them through the match until Benjamin finally won in the end. This really didn’t work very well, but like everything else around here, none of that is going to matter by next week.

Video on the Raw World Title triple threat match.

Wrestlemania rundown.

The final inductee into the Hall of Fame Class: Gordon Solie.

Kelly Kelly/Stevie Richards vs. Mike Knox/Layla

The women actually wrestle to start with Kelly getting two. Knox gets in a cheap shot from the apron though and Layla takes over for a bit. The men come in and Richards swings away until the women getting in a fight distracts him. Knox grabs a swinging Downward Spiral for the fast pin.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Chavo Guerrero

Non-title and the battle royal participants are at ringside. Dreamer backdrops him to the apron and punches him out to the floor to start, with the unofficial lumberjacks sending Chavo back inside. Chavo sends him shoulder first into the post and we hit the front facelock. The fans think Chavo sucks, even as Dreamer fights up with a bulldog. Guerrero blocks something out of the corner so Dreamer settles for a neckbreaker. Dreamer gets crotched on top though and the frog splash gives Chavo the pin.

Rating: C-. And that’s another Chavo match these days, as they are still rather uninteresting with little going on that could make me care about the title. Dreamer making his comeback is always decent enough but there was only so much that can be done with a three minute match less than a week before Wrestlemania. Just get the title off of Chavo already because this reign is dragging down everything else.

Post match everyone gets inside and the fight is on to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. My goodness Wrestlemania needs to come and go already because this show is falling apart in a hurry. There is only so much that can be done when you have one important story and that one is in limbo due to the champion not having an opponent. Other than that, it is a bunch of people trying to fill in time and that is not going to work long, or even short, term.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – March 3, 2008: Are You Smarter Than A Snitsky?

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 3, 2008
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s finally Wrestlemania month and we are less than four weeks away from the show. The big story around here is the triple threat match between Raw World Champion Randy Orton and challengers HHH and John Cena. Other than that, we’re going to be seeing Big Show vs. a professional fighter, because wrestlers are…tap dancers or something. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Randy Orton, John Cena and HHH are in William Regal’s office and has a great idea: for the next three weeks, one of them will be in charge every week. Tonight it’s Cena, but Orton thinks they should have a pact that says the other two should get the night off every week. Cena has a better idea.

Opening sequence.

Big Show vs. Brandon Hill

This is billed as MMA (win by pin/submission/knockout), as Hill is a boxer and Floyd Mayweather Jr. is watching live from Las Vegas (I’m sure). We get the showdown, with Show towering over the rather small Hill, and in a rare production gaffe, you see the cameramen in the ring (I don’t know if that’s a choice for the match, but it feels WAY out of place in WWE). Hill runs away to start and then panics when Show grabs him by the trunks. Then the chokeslam finishes for Show fast.

Post match Show calls out Mayweather and promises to ruin him at Wrestlemania. Mayweather pops up on screen to yell about how he’ll break Show’s jaw. Oh and he’s coming to the show. Then Show tosses Hill over the top for a nasty landing.

Video on HHH.

Shawn Michaels/Ric Flair vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Flair and Murdoch start things off, with Flair sending him into the corner for some right hands. Shawn comes in for an awkward collision with Murdoch, allowing Cade to grab a belly to back suplex. An atomic drop/big boot combination gets two on Shawn but he gets a boot up to stop a diving Murdoch. It’s back to Flair to strike away, setting up the stereo Figure Fours for the stereo submissions.

Rating: C. Just a quick, nothing match here with Flair and Shawn getting to spend some time together with Wrestlemania on the way. We still have some more weeks for them to be nice to each other before they get personal, which still feels like a bit of a stretch. Cade and Murdoch’s fall continues, as they are now about as worthless as they could be. Because tag teams.

Post match Shawn says he doesn’t want to be the one who ends Flair’s career. He knows Flair is thinking “what makes Shawn think he’s that guy”, but it’s Wrestlemania and he’s Shawn Michaels. At Wrestlemania, Flair’s show is going to be stopped.

John Cena comes in to see William Regal and gets right to the point: tonight it’s Randy Orton vs. HHH, while Cena will face Mr. Kennedy. Oh and since Cena is in charge, Regal can leave the office.

Umaga vs. Super Crazy

William Regal is on commentary as Umaga wins with the Samoan Spike in less than 45 seconds.

Here is Chris Jericho for the return of the Highlight Reel. Jericho talks about how this is the talk show that inspired the others, such as Are You Smarter Than A Snitsky and Cooking With Goldberg. For now though, let’s get our guest out there: Jeff Hardy. Jericho shows us a clip of him beating Hardy last week to qualify for Money In The Bank, even though Hardy is already in there. Of course fans are expecting Hardy to steal the show, but this time Hardy talks about how important it is for him to win here. Then Hardy lays him out with the Twist of Fate.

Mr. Kennedy vs. John Cena

Kennedy’s headlock doesn’t do much to start as Cena is right back with a backdrop. We take a break about thirty seconds in (erg) and come back with Kennedy bailing to the floor, meaning the chase is on. Kennedy snaps him throat first across the top rope to take over, setting up a hard ram into the apron. Back in and Kennedy hits a neckbreaker onto the knee for two, followed by the cravate to stay on the neck. Cena powers out and hits the running clotheslines into the top rope Fameasser. The STFU finishes Kennedy off.

Rating: C+. They didn’t have much time here and that commercial was quite the waste of time. Cena gets some revenge to make up for the night where he was hurt in October so a thread is tied up. I’m not sure how many people were wanting it to be tied up, but getting Cena in the ring on Raw is often a good idea and having him win here without much drama over the winner worked fine.

Jerry Lawler is in the ring to emcee the unveiling of Maria’s Playboy cover. Maria and Candice Michelle come out, the cover is unveiled…and Santino Marella has censored it. Cue Santino to complain about Maria being in the magazine, Maria yells at him and Lawler clears him out. The real cover is revealed, Lawler is excited and that’s it. So why did they have the other version ready (a giant banner above the ring) when they were surprised that Santino had messed with the poster size one?

John Cena was at a NASCAR race.

Money In The Bank Qualifying Match: Carlito vs. Cody Rhodes

Cody’s headlock doesn’t go very far to start but he does get two off a backslide. Back up and Carlito sends him into the corner for some shots to the face but the Backstabber misses. A middle rope spinning crossbody gives Cody two and a sunset flip is good for the same. Cody tries a victory roll but Carlito reverses into a backstabber for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was quick and to the point, with Carlito qualifying for a match he has no chance of winning. Cody isn’t going to win it either and is way too early in his career to be there either, so maybe just not having these two in a match for a spot would have been better. It’s good to get Cody in the ring, but Carlito means nothing at this point and that isn’t easy to hide.

We get a satellite interview with Floyd Mayweather Jr., who brags about how awesome he is and how he is ready to dominate WWE. He’s ready to break Big Show’s jaw and declares himself the real king, much to Lawler’s….well I’d assume annoyance, but Mayweather promises to turn the company into Money Mayweather Entertainment so we don’t get much of a reaction.

Mae Young is going into the Hall of Fame, meaning we get quite the entertaining video package.

Here is Finlay to confront JBL after Hornswoggle was attacked last week. For now though, here is Vince McMahon to interrupt, with Vince confirming that he is NOT Hornswoggle’s father, but Finlay certainly is. JBL isn’t here, but we do have him via satellite….from Hornswoggle’s hospital room. JBL says it’s fun to prey on the innocent and the challenge to face Finlay is thrown out for Wrestlemania. Then JBL turns out the lights and we hear Hornswoggle screaming. That was an intense scene and JBL is kind of perfect for it, but they rushed through it so fast that it didn’t have quite the impact.

HHH vs. Randy Orton

Non-title and John Cena is on commentary. Orton takes him into the corner to start and we get a clean….stare at each other. HHH does the same thing but punches Orton in the face, which fits him rather well. Some headlock takeovers from HHH are broken up by Orton’s headscissors as Cena talks about everything Orton did to his father.

Orton grabs the backbreaker as the fans are rather behind HHH. The circle stomping ensues until HHH is back up with the facebuster. They fight to the floor with HHH hammering away, setting up the spinebuster back inside. Orton bails to the floor and grabs the title so Cena breaks it up, only to have HHH knock both of them over. Cena comes in and jumps HHH for the DQ.

Rating: C. They didn’t have much time to do anything here and the match was more about sitting around waiting on Cena to do something to end things. That’s likely what we are going to be seeing for a few weeks to come and that is not the worst idea. The idea is to make fans want to see Wrestlemania and little teases like this could make that be the case.

Post match Cena gives HHH the FU but walks into the RKO so Orton can stand tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. You can definitely feel a similar style of build to Wrestlemania on Raw and Smackdown. The main event is the huge focal point with one other big match per show announced. This week saw JBL vs. Finlay all but set up and when you throw in Umaga vs. Batista and Money in the Bank, the core of the show is ready. This week’s show was just ok, but the build to Wrestlemania is what matters most and that is going rather well.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – February 25, 2008: Friendly Photo Op

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 25, 2008
Location: US Airways Center, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re still on the Road to Wrestlemania and now we have a new participant in the Raw World Title match. Last week, John Cena defeated Randy Orton in a non-title match to make the title match a triple threat match. Other than that, we’re setting up some Money in the Bank participants so now we get to see who else gets to join. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of John Cena beating Randy Orton last week to get into the Wrestlemania title match, only to have HHH lay them both out.

Orton, Cena and HHH are in the ring for what seems to be a photo opportunity, as moderated by William Regal. With the photo taken, each one gets to say something so we can know their thoughts heading into the match. Cena goes first and says he was raised that if you have a problem with someone, you say it to their face.

With that, he gets in HHH’s face and thanks him for not throwing out last week’s match, allowing Cena to go to Wrestlemania. He does have a problem with the Pedigree, but HHH says he wants Cena in the ring at Wrestlemania. HHH thinks a lot of the fans liked the Pedigree and Cena better get used to it, because at Wrestlemania, he’s getting another one. Cena remembers HHH tapping out at Wrestlemania, which is enough for HHH to take off his jacket.

The staredown is on but Orton says one thing is going to remain the same: he is still WWE Champion. The two of them have come after him but he still has the title. You might even say THE CHAMP IS HERE! Orton says the two of them can’t do anything about it, which is enough for the fight to be on. With Orton sent outside, HHH punches Cena down but Orton is back in with the RKO to both of them. Orton poses, leaves, then poses again. Good segment to get everyone in the ring and doing something in less than ten minutes.

Post break Orton is in the back when he runs into Mr. Kennedy. Since Wrestlemania is right around the corner, Kennedy has been thinking about winning Money In The Bank and cashing in that night, so Orton loses no matter what. Orton promises violence if Kennedy tries.

Carlito/Santino Marella vs. Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes

Non-title and Maria is here with Carlito and Santino. Marella and Rhodes start things off with Rhodes slamming him down and dropping a knee. Rhodes gets sent into Carlito on the apron and Santino gets in a takedown. That’s enough for Carlito to come in and stomp away as Lawler is trying to get Maria to come sit next to him. A swinging neckbreaker drops Rhodes for two but he Russian legsweeps his way to freedom. Holly comes in to clean house as Lawler throws his crown at Maria to get her attention. The distraction lets Holly slam Marella off the top and hit the Alabama Slam for the pin.

Rating: C-. Well at least Lawler’s jabbering turned into a little something with the ending. I’m not sure why they didn’t just make this a title match for the sake of giving the champs a successful defense, especially when it’s Carlito/Marella. The match was short and to the point, which was mainly about Maria, who is higher profile than the four people in the match at the moment.

We recap Big Show agreeing to fight Floyd Mayweather Jr. last week.

We go to the Wrestlemania press conference, with Mayweather vs. Big Show confirmed for the show. Mayweather, standing on something, had a staredown with Show, who promised to explain pain.

William Regal is happy with the controversy and promises more of it when Mr. Kennedy and Randy Orton team up to face John Cena and HHH tonight. Chris Jericho comes in to mock Regal’s hair and offer him some tea (in a seven year old call back) before getting to the point: he wants in Money In The Bank. Regal is cool with that, but Jericho has to qualify against Jeff Hardy. Oh and it’s next. Cool with Jericho, but Regal’s shirt and tie aren’t.

Money In The Bank Qualifying Match: Jeff Hardy vs. Chris Jericho

Non-title and Hardy is already qualified but doesn’t seem to lose anything if Jericho wins. Feeling out process to start with Jericho going after the arm so Hardy mule kicks his way to freedom. A high crossbody gives Jericho two and a suplex is good for the same. The enziguri is countered into a catapult over the top but they both dive back in for a standoff as we take a break.

Back with Jericho cranking on both arms and then punching Hardy down for two. They both try crossbodies and crash to give us a double knockdown. It’s Hardy up first to knock Jericho into the corner, where he avoids a bulldog to really take over. The fans are behind Jericho as he breaks up a Whisper In The Wind, which is broken up as well so Hardy’s second attempt works just fine.

Hardy loads up a hurricanrana but gets countered into the Walls, sending Hardy over to the rope. Jericho gets dropped again but is fine enough to avoid the Swanton. The Lionsault connects for two so Jericho tries the Walls again. With that broken up, Jericho grabs a rollup for the fast pin.

Rating: B-. These two having a good match is no surprise whatsoever and they had the time to make it work. I still don’t know why Hardy needed to take a fall here when he was already in the ladder match, but at least Jericho has something to do at Wrestlemania. You know, because he was stuck in the cold otherwise.

Here is Vince McMahon to discuss Hornswoggle’s beating last week. Vince says last week was a mistake, as Hornswoggle was beaten into oblivion by JBL. Therefore, he apologizes to Hornswoggle and wants JBL out here right now. A rather nervous looking JBL comes out and Vince demands an apology for taking it too far last week.

JBL apologizes….for not doing it sooner. See, he has it on good advice that Hornswoggle is NOT Vince’s son, but rather Finlay’s. Hornswoggle didn’t know, but Finlay knew the entire time and JBL has the documentation to prove it. Now JBL is going to make Finlay pay. Well that moved things forward fast, and it’s only a few months too late.

John Cena comes in to see HHH, who says to save the “we don’t like each other but we have to work together”. HHH wants to go out there and win because that is what he does best. Cena feels the same and tells HHH to watch his own back.

Umaga vs. DH Smith

Smith pounds away to start for a grand total of no avail. A splash, the running hip attack and the Samoan Spike finish Smith off in a hurry. Total squash.

We go to William Regal’s office where the Burchills are impressed with Umaga. Regal says he’s perfect, as he has received a challenge from Vickie Guerrero for a Raw vs. Smackdown showdown at Wrestlemania. Katie Lea thinks Paul would be better, but Regal needs to see more first. The Burchills go to leave, but Paul comes back to say Katie might like Regal.

Lance Cade vs. Shawn Michaels

Trevor Murdoch is here with Cade. They start fast with Cade hitting something like a Side Effect but Michaels gets up before Cade can hit anything else. Shawn misses the top rope elbow but manages to pull Cade into the Crossface. That’s enough for Murdoch to run in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. This felt like an excuse to get Shawn in the ring and that is probably leading somewhere with Ric Flair. Other than that, it is kind of sad to see Cade and Murdoch reduced to almost nothing. WWE doesn’t have many tag teams so why have one of them turn into such an unimportant pair?

Post match Shawn cleans house and has a bloody nose. Cue Ric Flair to interrupt (well kind of, as Shawn was just standing there) and Shawn immediately pays respect. Flair can’t believe what an honor it is to be the first active wrestler in the Hall of Fame. The one thing he wants to do to make it even better is to wrestle Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania.

Shawn brings up the “you lose, you’re done” stipulation and he doesn’t want to be the one to end Flair’s career. Flair doesn’t like Shawn’s tone because who says Flair would be losing? All of the respect that Shawn gave him last week means nothing if Shawn doesn’t give him this match. That’s enough for Shawn and he’s in. Well that didn’t take much of a push. They leave together and everything is cool.

Mike Adamle announces the next inductees into the Hall of Fame: High Chief Peter Maivia and Rocky Johnson. This would be in no way a gift to get the Rock to be happy with the company.

Lawler announces Bunnymania: Maria/Candice Michelle vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina.

We get a behind the scenes look at Maria’s Playboy shoot.

John Cena/HHH vs. Mr. Kennedy/Randy Orton

Cena and HHH clear the ring to start and we take a break less than thirty seconds in. Back with HHH sending Kennedy into the corner and Cena coming in to do the same. HHH tags himself back in and throws a crotch chop at Cena, allowing Kennedy to get in a cheap shot. Orton comes in and stomps away before dropping a knee for two.

We hit the chinlock to keep HHH in trouble before Orton sends him out to the apron. HHH finally kicks Kennedy down but Orton is right there to block the hot tag to Cena. The RKO is blocked though and HHH calls into the tag off to Cena to clean house. Orton has to break up the FU on Kennedy so HHH takes Orton outside, leaving Kennedy to tap to the STFU.

Rating: C. Totally run of the mill main event style tag match but so much of it was during the break that there wasn’t much to be seen. You can only get so much out of a match that only had about eight minutes of TV time and there was no reason for anyone but Kennedy to take the fall. The triple threat match is looking good, but this wasn’t the best way to set it up.

Post match Cena and HHH have a staredown, allowing Kennedy to Mic Check Cena to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Well, the wrestling wasn’t great, but they have Wrestlemania in sight and a good portion of the card is either set or all but set. That being said, you can only get so much out of a show with almost nothing in the way of very good action. WWE needs to find a way to do both or the next month could get pretty rough in a hurry. For now though, this was just ok and that’s not the best way to get to Wrestlemania.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – February 4, 2008: Needs More Filler

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 4, 2008
Location: Frank Irwin Center, Austin, Texas
Attendance: 13,552
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

So we are firmly into the build for No Way Out, which will feature John Cena challenging Randy Orton for the Raw World Title, plus an Elimination Chamber match for the Raw World Title shot at Wrestlemania. Thankfully we’re only getting the build toward one Elimination Chamber match, which should fill in most of this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Randy Orton is in the ring to start things off and it looks like we’ve got a contract signing. Orton recaps the setup of his title match with John Cena at No Way Out, which is Cena’s Royal Rumble title shot. That’s not good enough for Orton though, which is why he wants a contract signed so Cena has no way out. Orton’s lawyers have already signed the contract and he has signed it, so get Cena out here to sign it too.

After a quick walk through the back, here is Cena to quite the ovation. Cena wastes no time in signing and Orton is rather pleased, because the match is on no matter what happens to Cena, including in his arm wrestling match with Mark Henry tonight. Cue Henry for a distraction so the RKO can lay Cena out. They certainly didn’t waste time here.

Post break, Henry and Orton deny planning anything in advance. Violence is promised for later tonight.

Kelly Kelly/Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix/Victoria

Kelly goes after Victoria to start and manages a backslide, which has commentary far too impressed. Mickie comes in to go after Beth but gets pulled off the top, which might be a knee injury. A guillotine works a bit better for Mickie but Beth powers her into the corner. Everything breaks down and Mickie hits a tornado DDT to finish Victoria.

Mickie wants the title.

William Regal tells Hornswoggle to get ready to join Vince McMahon’s special club. Regal: “I’m in it!”

Here is Shawn Michaels, with JR saying HHH isn’t here tonight due to a family emergency. Shawn talks about how close he got to winning the WWE Title last year at Wrestlemania but he doesn’t want to be second place. He is ready to go back this year so everyone in the Elimination Chamber is on notice. Shawn: “Friend, family and Umaga….whatever he is, he’s on notice too!”

Cue Chris Jericho to interrupt to say he respects Shawn and how much he loved their Wrestlemania match. But then Shawn suggested he is going to win the Elimination Chamber and that’s too far. Jericho has been inside the Chamber three times and knows what it takes to make it to the main event of Wrestlemania. Cue Jeff Hardy to interrupt to say that he’ll be going to the main event of Wrestlemania for the first time.

Now it’s JBL interrupting to say he gets what he wants. He has bought Umaga to get him to the main event of Wrestlemania….so here is Umaga to interrupt. After staring down the good guys, Umaga turns to JBL and backs him into the corner, which brings out Snitsky, to say the other five have had their chances. Fans: “BRUSH YOUR TEETH!”

Shawn doesn’t care for threats and mocks Snitsky’s teeth before hitting him in the face. The brawl is on and we probably have a six man for later. Indeed as William Regal comes out to make the six man tag. This took a long time to get to the point and was mainly there to get all six of the Elimination Chamber participants out there.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Super Crazy

Kennedy dropkicks the knee out to start and hammers away at the leg. The knee is twisted back and then around the post but Crazy uses the free leg to kick Kennedy in the head. That’s broken up and Kennedy grabs…kind of an inverted Figure Four for the fast tap. At least the hold was different than just a copy of Flair’s Figure Four.

Post match Kennedy shows us a clip of MVP taking out Ric Flair’s knee last week on Smackdown. Therefore, Kennedy is giving Flair a chance to come here next week and forfeit the No Way Out match and save his leg. They’re taking a different path to Kennedy vs. Flair and it’s more interesting than I would have thought.

Mike Adamle hypes up the Raw Elimination Chamber.

Video on the Chamber itself.

Carlito/Santino Marella vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

Maria is here with Carlito and Marella. Kendrick dropkicks Carlito for a fast two but Marella low bridges him to the floor. London chases Marella around the ring, leaving Carlito to hit a Backstabber to finish Kendrick. Remember when London and Kendrick were one of the best teams in the company?

Vince McMahon is preparing for Hornswoggle to join his, ahem, special club. This involves a, quote, “Professional a** buffer” and “a** cream”. Vince: “Mr. McMahon’s a** in HD!”

Here’s Vince to humiliate Hornswoggle again. He talks about how you can’t reason with a child, so you have to discipline them. After ranting about children in the audience, Vince says you have to literally make them kiss your a**. Cue Hornswoggle, who Vince blames for the whole thing and it’s going to hurt Vince more than him.

Vince drops his pants and asks for a pardon of the tan lines. Hornswoggle goes to kiss it but Vince demands that he kiss it (that felt like a missed cue). Cue Finlay to ask what is wrong with Vince, who threatens a firing. Actually, Finlay can kiss it instead, but Hornswoggle gives it a bite. That doesn’t work for Vince, who makes himself vs. Hornswoggle next week, No DQ, and if Finlay interferes, he’s fired. This was WAY longer than any segment involving Vince not wearing pants should have been.

Cody Rhodes/Hardcore Holly vs. Trevor Murdoch/Lance Cade

Non-title. Holly elbows Murdoch down to start so it’s off to Cade to run Holly over right back. That doesn’t last long and Cody comes in with a top rope ax handle, setting up a bulldog. Everything breaks down and Cody DDTs Murdoch for the pin.

Post match Carlito and Santino Marella come out to challenge for the titles. Egads that’s a rough time for the belts.

No Way Out rundown.

Shawn Michaels/Jeff Hardy/Chris Jericho vs. John Bradshaw Layfield/Snitsky/Umaga

Shawn and Umaga start things off with Shawn’s chops having no effect. Umaga misses a sitdown splash so Jericho comes in and gets headbutted down without much trouble. It’s off to Snitsky to miss a big boot, allowing Jericho to triangle dropkick him out to the floor. Hardy comes in (big reaction for that) and gets slammed by Snitsky, allowing JBL to pound away.

A hard shoulder drops Hardy but Snitsky comes in and allows the tag off to Shawn. Something like an Indian Deathlock has Snitsky in trouble but everything breaks down. The good guys hit triple dives and we take a break with the fans sounding rather enthusiastic. Back with Jericho in trouble and getting caught in the wrong corner.

Umaga grabs a bearhug before hitting the Samoan drop for two. Jericho tries to fight out but gets kicked in the back to cut him right back down. An enziguri gives Jericho a breather though and the hot tag brings in Hardy to clean house. Everything breaks down and the Twist of Fate into the Swanton finishes Snitsky.

Rating: C+. Pretty standard, long form six man here with Hardy winning for the feel good moment. Hardy is going to be the fan favorite in the Chamber and giving him some momentum on the way there is the right thing to do. The fans wanted to see him do anything here and it’s not like Jericho and Shawn need to pin Snitsky. Basic six man formula here and it worked just fine.

And now, arm wrestling between John Cena and Mark Henry. As expected, Henry takes forever to start and gets in a cheap shot on Cena’s recently injured chest. They go, Henry is about to win, Cena is about to win, Randy Orton runs in to jump Cena. The RKO and AA are blocked and Orton runs, leaving Cena to AA Henry to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was a weird show as they had two stories, with the Elimination Chamber stuff and John Cena vs. Randy Orton. That filled in part of the show, but there wasn’t much else to fill in time other than those two stories. Unfortunately the other big story was Vince/Hornswoggle and….yeah that was as Vince of a segment as you could have had. No Way Out is all but set and that has me wondering how bad things are going to go next week when they don’t have much to say. For now though, it was just an ok show without much to fill in the gaps between the big stuff.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – December 17, 2007: He Could Win

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 17, 2007
Location: HSBC Arena, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re past Armageddon now and the big Raw story was JBL getting physical for the first time in a long while as he cost Chris Jericho the World Title. That means Randy Orton needs a new challenger and that is exactly what he has in the form of Jeff Hardy. The Royal Rumble is coming up, but so is the end of the year so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Vince McMahon getting beaten up at the Raw 15th Anniversary in a pretty cool moment.

Opening sequence.

Melina/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Layla vs. Mickie James/Michelle McCool/Kelly Kelly/Maria

Santa’s Little Helper match. Jillian tries to sing but gets cut off by the other team’s entrance and we’re ready to go. Maria flips Jillian down to start and it’s Michelle coming in to clean house. A bunch of hiptosses put the villains down before Kelly comes in. That doesn’t go so well as Victoria and Melina double team her down in the corner. Kelly is out in a hurry and brings in Mickie, with the MickieDT finishing Victoria in a hurry.

Rating: D. What are you expecting here? It’s a bunch of women in their festive outfits, which were the stars of the match. There was no story or structure to the match and they were probably told the winner and nothing more. It did its job well enough, but that had nothing to do with having a match.

Post match the winners clear the ring but here is a very shaken looking Vince McMahon to tell them to get out. Vince talks about how last week was supposed to be a celebration of his greatest creation but he was left laying and covered in beer while everyone else celebrated. What he doesn’t understand is how all of these people were so happy to see it.

Cue Jeff Hardy (there’s a pair you don’t see very often) to say that next week they’re going to Iraq. Jeff says that the people celebrated when Saddam Hussein was killed because he was crazed with power. Does that sound familiar? Vince gets the point…and sits down in the corner to cry as we take a break.

Back with William Regal and a referee trying to get Vince to leave but here is HHH instead. HHH calls Regal Liberace and says he’s the closest thing Vince has left to family. Vince cries even more so HHH sits next to him and apologizes for everything that happened last week (which he lists off). HHH: “Now get out of the ring before they cancel the show.”

Regal isn’t having this so he threatens….to have security throw HHH out. Vince forces himself to his feet and tells Regal to get Coach, but no security. Tonight it’s Regal/Coach vs. HHH and Vince hopes something bad happens to everyone. Then he cries some more. Weird Vince can be entertaining Vince and that was the case here.

HHH vs. William Regal/Jonathan Coachman

Everyone is in street clothes for a unique look. A single right hand drops Coach and HHH slugs away on Regal. The numbers game gets the better of things though and HHH gets sent into the post. Then a kick to the head drives it into the post again and Coach gets two. That’s enough for HHH as the comeback is on with right hands all around, plus a facebuster to Regal. The brass knuckles are cut off with a spinebuster to Regal and HHH picks up the knuckles. Coach gets poked in the head with said knuckles, setting up the Pedigree for the easy pin.

Rating: C-. What else is there to say about something like this? It was a quick workout for HHH, who isn’t going to lose often and especially not to these two. Vince losing his marbles is a good sign and if he sends these two do bumble through his bidding, it could be a lot of fun. For now though, HHH got to beat them up and he knows how to do that very well.

We recap JBL costing Chris Jericho the Raw World Title last night.

Tag Team Titles: Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Holly and Rhodes are defending after winning the titles from Cade and Murdoch last week. Cade drives Rhodes into the corner to start but it’s quickly off to Holly to chop Murdoch against the ropes. An atomic drop, with Cade adding a running big boot, cuts that off and an assisted legdrop gives Murdoch two. The dropkick gets Holly out of trouble though and it’s back to Rhodes as everything breaks down. Rhodes DDTs Cade to retain the titles. Well that was brisk.

Here is Ric Flair for a chat before his latest career threatening match. Flair reiterates that he will NEVER retire, even though Vince McMahon said the next time he loses, he will never wrestle again. Apparently Vince doesn’t want to see him get hurt but Flair has been doing this for thirty five years and he has loved doing all of this. Flair has sacrificed everything to be here and he isn’t about to throw it away.

He has traveled the roads for thirty years and we hear about a lot of them (Dusty Rhodes, Arn Anderson, Ricky Steamboat etc), plus some of the new friends he has made (Batista, Undertaker, HHH, Shawn Michaels etc). Now he has to be the Nature Boy and he respects everyone in that locker room. Tonight it’s another journey because he has Umaga but he is giving it all he has. He wants the best from whoever beats him and isn’t losing without the fight of his life. If he loses tonight, thank you. Rather nice speech there, as Flair knows how to bring the emotion.

Ric Flair vs. Umaga

Flair strikes away to start to the same amount of avail that you would expect. Umaga shoves him down without much trouble and grabs an early nerve hold. Back up and a clothesline drops Flair again, setting up a belly to belly for two. Some cannonballs down onto the chest keep Flair down and we’re right back to the nerve hold.

Umaga misses the middle rope headbutt though and now Flair’s chops work a bit better. The chop block doesn’t do much though and Umaga knocks him outside. The big running charge misses though and Umaga crashes through the barricade, allowing Flair to beat the count back in and survive.

Rating: C-. That’s how this should have gone, as Umaga was squashing Flair until he managed to escape rather than win. Flair shouldn’t be able to beat someone like Umaga at this point and they didn’t bother trying to do anything else. That kind of emotional trip is something Flair can sell as he knows how to do as well as anyone. Not a great match, but a properly told story.

Flair: “One more thing: WOO!”

Here is Chris Jericho to call out JBL. He should be happy with what he did last night because he beat Randy Orton, but it was by DQ. We see a clip of JBL interfering to cost Jericho the title and he wants an explanation. JBL isn’t here tonight, so Jericho will be heading to Smackdown to get some answers in person.

Cue JBL on the Titantron to say he’s too busy to be in a place like Buffalo. Jericho is low on JBL’s list of priorities and he blames Jericho for causing his own problems. Apparently this means Jericho being sent into JBL last night, which sends Jericho into a rant about how everyone is knocked over out here. Timekeeper Mark Yeaton got superkicked last week but he didn’t storm the ring. JBL: “MARK YEATON NEEDS AN APPOINTMENT TO TALK TO MY DOORMAN!”

Jericho promises to be at Smackdown but JBL warns him that a deal will be made to prevent that. JBL knew this would happen and talked to Vince McMahon, saying that if Jericho goes after him again, there is no Royal Rumble and no future title shot. That makes Jericho think that JBL has lost his killer instinct and is now listed with the talk show hosts and broadcasters. That’s too far for JBL, who is coming to Raw next week because he is a wrestling god. Seems to work for Jericho.

Santino Marella/Carlito vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

Maria is here with Santino and Carlito. Hold on though as Carlito and Santino aren’t sure who should start because they’re new at this teaming together thing. Kendrick takes over on Santino’s arm to start and hands it off to London to stay on that arm. London’s running dropkick puts Santino down again so it’s off to Carlito to try his luck. A high crossbody takes Carlito down but Santino offers a distraction. That’s enough for a Backstabber to finish London for quite the upset.

Post match Santino thinks Carlito is Colombian and makes a spitting joke as the new team doesn’t seem to be the greatest idea.

Randy Orton says he did exactly what he promised to do last night by beating up Chris Jericho. Now he is ready for Jeff Hardy at the Royal Rumble.

HHH congratulates Ric Flair on his win. They’re both rather happy but here is wacky Vince McMahon to say HHH can face Flair in a career threatening match in two weeks.

Jeff Hardy/Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. Kennedy/Randy Orton

Orton runs Hardy over to start but Hardy kicks him away for a standoff. Kennedy comes in to knock him into the corner, only to get knocked down for the legdrop between the legs. A crossbody hits Kennedy and everything breaks down with the good guys hitting stereo dives to the floor.

We take a break and come back with Hardy missing Whisper in the Wind to put him in trouble for a change. Orton stomps away before handing it right back to Kennedy, who gets caught with a clothesline. It’s back to Shawn to clean a few rooms before Orton cheap shots him from the apron.

The chinlock goes on for a bit before Shawn is whipped hard into the corner for a crash to the floor. Back in and Orton starts the circle stomp before Kennedy grabs a camel clutch of all things. With that broken up, Shawn enziguris his way to freedom and falls into the corner for the tag to Hardy. The pace picks up (as it tends to do with Hardy) and everything breaks down (as it tends to do with main event tag matches). Hardy hits a Twist of Fate and a very fast Swanton to finish Orton for a statement win.

Rating: C+. This match was designed to do one thing and one thing only: make it clear that Hardy could win. Hardy is on a roll at the moment and all roads lead to the Royal Rumble, where Hardy might be able to pull off the miracle. The fans are behind him and he is racking up win after win, so why can’t he make something like this work? That seems to be the idea they are focusing on at the moment and that could wind up being great. Shawn and Kennedy were there too, but this was all about Hardy beating Orton.

Overall Rating: C. You could definitely tell this was a show where they were taking things a bit less seriously as it was a more lighthearted and easy week. The main event served a purpose, but the only other story that was treated seriously was Flair. Vince was being his over the top self and that tends to be more humorous than anything else, though it’s not like HHH beating up Coach is ever going to get old. Not the most interesting show, but an easy watch.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – December 10, 2007 (15th Anniversary Special, 2022 Redo): I Love It

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 10, 2007
Location: Arena At Harbor Yard, Bridgeport, Connecticut
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time for a special show this week as it is the fifteenth anniversary celebration of the show. That means not only do we have a bunch of guest stars, but it is an extra large three hour edition. Throw in that it is also the go home show for Armageddon and this is going to be a busy night. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a mash up of Raw intros over the years, though oddly enough they aren’t in chronological order.

Here are the McMahons (minus Linda of course) for a chat. Vince is ready for the McMahon Family Portrait but first, he needs to brag about how great Raw has been over the years. Tonight it is time for a family reunion, though minus Linda McMahon who has some stomach issue. Instead, he has Shane and Stephanie out here and wants the photographer but gets Hornswoggle. That means Hornswoggle grabs the leg, so Shane has to pull him off. Vince says he loves Shane, Stephanie, and the fans.

It’s time for the picture, but here is HHH to interrupt. Vince: “What are you doing here?” HHH: “I’m waiting on that pop to die down.” HHH says he’s here for the family portrait because everyone knows what is going on here. It’s like he could be Vince’s son! HHH: “Sup Steph?” Anyway, HHH wants to bring out some of the Divas, past and present, that Vince has loved before. This includes Melina, Sunny and….Mae Young! Vince: “It was at Moolah’s funeral I had a lot to drink. Steph…..and I was thinking of your mom!”

HHH calls out any WWE employee who has been mistaken for a woman and that Vince has attempted to love, drawing out the Fink, Big Dick Johnson, Bastion Booger, Pat Patterson, Gerald Brisco and Abe “Knuckleball” Schwartz. HHH: “I guess the Brooklyn Brawler was busy tonight.” Stephanie says she’s embarrassed by Vince so it’s time that she embarrassed him. She kisses HHH for the first time in a good many years and leaves. HHH: “I’ll see you at home. Uh, I mean your brother’s a gnome!”

Vince to HHH: “I HATE YOU!” HHH tells Vince to just go away but realizes that Hornswoggle is sad. All he wanted was to be happy, so HHH brings out the Godfather, complete with women. JR: “Even Patterson is happy!” Hornswoggle’s mind is blown and dancing ensues to wrap up a hilarious segment, with HHH getting to do the humor that suits him best.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Carlito

Hardy is defending in a ladder match. Carlito kicks him down and sets up the ladder way too early, only to have to stop for a clothesline. Hardy gets in a shot of his own but a slingshot dive only hits ladder. A dropkick knocks Carlito off the apron and into a ladder bridged against the barricade so Hardy goes up. That means Carlito has to springboard in to land on the ladder (Shelton Benjamin style), setting up a sunset bomb to leave them both laying.

We take a break and come back with Jeff missing a legdrop over the ladder to send him crashing down. Carlito crushes the leg in the ladder and then drops a ladder onto it to make Hardy scream even more. Hardy can barely move so Carlito….puts the ladder in the corner instead of climbing, earning himself a backdrop onto said ladder. The Swanton connects but a Backstabber sends Hardy into the ladder. Carlito goes up but this time Hardy shoves him down and retains the title.

Rating: C+. They weren’t going for anything groundbreaking here but Jeff can do this match in his sleep (and probably came close to it at various points). Carlito was just a challenger of the week as Jeff is on his way up, as he isn’t going to be losing less than a week before his pay per view showdown with HHH. They had some big spots here, but it’s just a quick ladder match with as much drama as that can bring.

Shawn Michaels can’t believe it has been fifteen years of Monday Night Raw. He was on the first show and defended the Intercontinental Title against….someone (Max Moon). While Shawn can’t remember fifteen years ago, he can remember Mr. Kennedy bringing in an impostor Marty Jannetty. That’s why he brought in the real one this week to face Kennedy, because he faces MR. HBK……HBK…..this weekend.

We take a look at some classic OMG Raw moments. I know these things are done over and over but there really have been some great ones on this show over the years.

Here are Santino Marella and Maria, with the former being tired of all this….and here’s a surprise.

Santino Marella vs. Rob Van Dam

Kick to the head and the Five Star finish in less than forty five seconds. Very nice cameo as Van Dam is always going to pop the crowd.

Long video on Evolution, which really was a special stable in a lot of ways.

Here are all four members of Evolution (or “original” members according to the introduction, even though there were only ever four of them) for a reunion. Randy Orton comes out last but says he’s going to stay on the stage instead of having the rest of the teams ride his coattails. Orton remembers what happened when HHH turned on him the last time he was champion. HHH: “Yeah that was pretty cool.”

They beat him up because hes was annoying, but Orton would rather be remembered as part of Rated-RKO with Edge, who comes out as well. Edge says he’ll take the World Title from Batista on Sunday, but Ric Flair says find a partner and let’s fight. Orton has already done that so we’re ready to go.

Evolution vs. Umaga/Rated-RKO

Joined in progress with Batista handing it off to Flair to lock up with Edge. As Lawler clarifies that the “Flair retires if he loses” only applies to singles matches, Umaga takes Flair down and grabs a nerve hold. Orton comes in to stomp away and the knee drop gets two. A backdrop gets Flair out of trouble and it’s Batista coming in to clean house. Everything breaks down and Umaga cleans house….but also shoves the referee for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was all about the reunion and I get why they didn’t have one of the #1 contenders lose. That being said, Umaga has lost to HHH on his own how many times now but can’t take a fall to most of Evolution? As has been the case with everything on this show, this is about the moment instead of the match and that’s not a bad thing.

Post match Orton and Edge leave Umaga on his own, meaning it’s big beatdown. Couldn’t they have just done that for the finish to the match?

More classic Raw moments, this time involving vehicles.

Hornswoggle annoys Mickie James and Molly Holly until William Regal breaks that up. Regal talks about Vince McMahon’s tough love, which tonight will be shown in a match against the Great Khali. Oh and as luck would have it: Finlay’s plane ticket from Ireland was canceled so Hornswoggle is on his own.

Hornswoggle vs. Great Khali

The bell rings….and it’s Hulk Hogan (in black) for the save. We get the big staredown and Hogan hammers away, eventually knocking Khali down. That’s enough for Khali to bail as we get a tease for one more Hogan match. Hogan thanks the fans, talks about American Gladiators, does a Randy Savage OH YEAH (ok then), and poses with Hornswoggle for the funny moment.

Here are some classic D-Generation X moments.

Another classic moment: the debut of Mr. Socko, which has to be up there on the “how did they get this stupid thing over”, with the answer being “because Mick Foley is really awesome”. Vince throwing him out and sealing his own fate because he has no protection from Steve Austin a few minutes later makes it all the better.

Legends Battle Royal

Al Snow, Bart Gunn, Doink The Clown, Repo Man, Steve Blackman, Pete Gas, Bob Backlund, Gangrel, The Goon, Skinner, Flash Funk, IRS, Scotty 2 Hotty, Sgt. Slaughter, Jim Neidhart, Gillberg

For some reason there are sixteen people in a fifteen man battle royal but oh well. Gillberg gets the big entrance, but the impressive one here is Blackman, who looks better than he did in his career. Everyone gets together and tosses Gillberg before Backlund is knocked out as well. Snow knocks Doink out with Head and then does the same thing to Gangrel. Head Cheese explodes for a bit but Funk kicks Snow out.

A bunch of people go out in a hurry and suddenly we’re down to IRS, Slaughter, Scotty and Skinner. IRS grabs his briefcase but Scotty knocks it into his face, setting up the Worm. Skinner dumps Scotty but gets caught in the Cobra Clutch. That’s broken up as Slaughter tosses Skinner, only to get dumped by IRS for the win.

Rating: C. This was more or less the poor man’s version of the Gimmick Battle Royal and that is not a bad thing. Again, this was all about the wrestlers having one more moment and the winner wasn’t important in the slightest. Just let the fans have some fun with the “oh I remember him” moments.

Hold on though because here is Ted DiBiase….who pays off IRS to eliminate himself and give DiBiase the win. That’s always great.

People have been slapped over the years.

Here is Eric Bischoff to talk about how things keep changing but always stay the same. At the end of the day, he is here to take your money and people like the McMahons need him to reinvent the business. So now give him a round of applause! Or have Chris Jericho interrupt, and Bischoff knows this isn’t good.

Bischoff: “Didn’t I fire you in this ring a couple of years ago?” Jericho remembers being fired but he thanks Bischoff for reigniting a fire in him. That’s why he’ll be the new WWE Champion on Sunday, which has Bischoff laughing. Jericho laughs at Bischoff for being fat and going bald but Bischoff suggests Jericho just forfeit the match to Orton right now. After some rhyming, Jericho knocks him down and takes out Randy Orton for trying to interfere. This felt like the “oh yeah we should do something about that match” segment.

Tag Team Titles: Cody Rhodes/Hardcore Holly vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Rhodes and Holly are challenging and Dusty Rhodes is on commentary in case you needed a hint about the result. Dusty is very excited (believe it or not) as Cody starts with Murdoch, who slams him down for an elbow drop. Cade misses an elbow of his own though and the hot tag brings in Holly to clean house. The dropkick hits Murdoch and Cade hits him by mistake to make it worse. The Alabama Slam gives Holly the pin and the titles. Nothing wrong with a title change to make a show like this feel special, especially with Dusty there too.

Celebrities have been on Raw over the years.

Video on the Divas over the years, which has been up and down to put it mildly.

Here is Jillian Hall, who has a Christmas album out. She starts singing the 12 Days Of Christmas but Trish Stratus interrupts. Trish doesn’t like Jillian’s singing but Jillian doesn’t like Trish’s ego. Cue Lita for the staredown with Trish but they team up in hatred of music. Those two deserve a quick moment on this kind of a show and this was good.

Also on Raw over the years: comedy hijinks! Oftentimes minus the comedy, but Edge and Christian on the kazoos continue to reek of awesomeness. Thankfully Mick Foley getting the Rock with an IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK and taking a lap around the ring is still one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.

And now, weddings! They are quite the tradition and they still work, at least most of the time.

Lita watches the wedding video when Kane comes up to her. Awkwardness ensues, with Kane asking if she’s seen any good movies lately and Lita asking about the weather. Ron Simmons gets his cameo.

Armageddon rundown.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Marty Jannetty

Marty goes after the arm to start but Kennedy kicks the knee out and grabs a half crab. Back up and an enziguri gets Marty out of trouble, allowing him to hammer away for two. The right hands in the corner are countered with Kennedy’s atomic drop but Marty is back with the Rocker Dropper. Kennedy breaks up the top rope fist drop though and the Mic Drop gives him the pin.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match here that ties into something that happened last week. Marty wasn’t bad, but what are you supposed to get out of a four minute match that didn’t have a ton of drama? Not an awful match or anything close to it, but Marty felt like a relic from the past instead of a threat.

Post match Kennedy stays on Marty but Shawn Michaels runs in Kennedy gets on him too, drawing out HHH for the save and (another) DX reunion.

Here is Vince McMahon to name the Greatest Superstar In Raw History. There are maybe three realistic options for that pick, but Vince announces……HIMSELF as the winner. Cue Mankind for the Mandible Claw to leave Vince laying for a nice reaction. Then the lights go out and a gong strikes, meaning it’s the Undertaker (coming to the ring…..slowly…..methodically…..at his own pace) for a chokeslam. As you might imagine, with Vince down and mostly done, the glass shatters and here’s Steve Austin, who still seems rather popular.

Austin thinks fifteen years of Raw is impressive and deserves a toast so he’ll drink to that. Vince needs to get up, but Austin lays down next to him for the toast, only to realize that this isn’t going to work. Austin gets him up and Vince tries to drink, only to get cut off by the Stunner.

With Vince done, Austin says the card Vince had didn’t matter, because the greatest star in the history of Raw is the fans. It doesn’t matter if you’re at home watching on TV or in this arena in the cheap seats or front row, you’re the reason this show has worked for so long. Austin calls out the locker room for a beer bash (William Regal and CM Punk seem to have something else in hand) and one more punch to Vince wraps us up, as only it could.

Overall Rating: A. This is a great example of a show that was not about the wrestling whatsoever and that is not a bad thing. This show was all about nostalgia, with Armageddon being something that was kind of in the background. I had a blast with the nostalgia between the clips and the appearances, and the big ending at the end was great. WWE knows how to do reunion shows well and this is one of the better ones they’ve ever done.

 

 

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