Even More Incredible Battle Royals: They Don’t Know What Incredible Means (Includes Full Video)

Even More Incredible Battle Royals
Commentators: Booker T., Josh Matthews, Michael Cole, Gorilla Monsoon, Gene Okerlund, Lord Alfred Hayes, Ron Trongard, Vince McMahon, Rob Bartlett, Randy Savage, Lee Marshall, Bill DeMott, Nigel Sherrod

Oddly enough, I’ve had a lot of fun with the previous two entries in this series, as they’re just fun to watch. The best part is that a lot of these haven’t been seen in a long time, so they’re not exactly famous. That leaves you with some surprise entries and winners, which hopefully is the case again here. Let’s get to it.

From Smackdown, July 3, 2012.

Battle Royal

Alberto Del Rio, Kane, Jack Swagger, John Cena, Tensai, Damien Sandow, Daniel Bryan, Heath Slater, CM Punk, Dolph Ziggler, Kofi Kingston, Brodus Clay, Great Khali, Big Show, Ezekiel Jackson, Zack Ryder, Christian, Santino Marella, Justin Gabriel, Cody Rhodes

Teddy Long introduces this one, as the winner will be GM next week and that is a stacked lineup. Gabriel is out in a hurry and Show dumps Clay out as well. Tensai gets rid of Jackson and a bunch of people get rid of Khali to clear out a lot of the ring. There goes Sandow and Marella is out as well. Show shoves out Rhodes and Kingston at the same time and we take a break.

We come back with Slater and Swagger put out during the break before Punk’s crossbody gets rid of Bryan…and himself as well. Kane starts wrecking people, including a chokeslam to Show but he doesn’t bother getting rid of anyone. A bunch of heels go after Cena, who fights back and gets rid of Del Rio. Tensai goes after Cena but gets tossed, with Show throwing Cena out instead.

Ryder goes after Show for some dumb reason and gets hit with a spear. Kane tosses Show and Ziggler at the same time, leaving us with Ryder vs. Kane, which fits as Kane ruined Ryder’s life late last year. Ryder slips off the shoulder but gets kicked in the face, only to come back with the Broski Boot. The Rough Ryder is cut off but Ryder low bridges him out for the win at 10:49.

Rating: C+. They had some star power here and that helped a lot, but it was nice to see Ryder actually winning something for a change. The good thing is that Ryder only had to pull the rope down to get some revenge but that’s better than nothing. The bigger names were pretty much cleared out without much of a second thought, but that’s one of the perks of a match like this. Nice enough job here.

From Madison Square Garden, October 20, 1986.

$50,000 Tag Team Battle Royal

Moondogs (Rex/Spot), Rougeau Brothers (Jacques Rougeau/Raymond Rougeau), Dream Team (Brutus Beefcake/Greg Valentine), The Indians (Steve Gatorwolf/Chief Jay Strongbow), Hart Foundation (Bret Hart/Jim Neidhart), Mike Rotundo/SD Jones, Islanders (Haku/Tama), Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik, Killer Bees (Jim Brunzell/Brian Blair), Machines (Super Machine/Big Machine), British Bulldogs (Davey Boy Smith/Dynamite Kid), King Kong Bundy/Big John Studd

If one member of a team is eliminated, their partner is out as well. The Moondogs are out in about ten seconds and it’s already time to slow down for the weak elimination attempts. Sheik has to save himself from a fireman’s carry and Beefcake is sent to the apron but not out. Studd is almost out but Bundy cuts that off in a hurry.

Rotundo and Jones are out, as are the Indians (and yes, that’s what their graphic said) to clear the ring a bit. Sheik is backdropped out and the Harts/Bulldogs go out, naturally brawling on the floor as they leave. The Machines are almost out, though the Bees are entirely out as things are managing to slow down even more.

Studd backdrops Jacques out and Beefcake follows him, leaving us with the Machines, the Islanders and Bundy/Studd. Bundy and Studd get rid of the Machines though and we’re down to two. Well four but whatever. Tama gets crushed by the Avalanche, which leaves Haku fighting two monsters on his own (I feel sorry for them). Haku slugs away at Studd but Bundy misses a charge and hits his own partner to knock Studd out, giving the Islanders the win at 10:33.

Rating: C-. So the action here was the usual drek, but DANG it was nice to see some actual tag teams for a change. The 80s was just loaded with tag teams and some of these would go on to be among the best of their era. This would have been even better like a year later, but this was a fun one for the names alone. Not a good match for the most part save for the hot ending, but fine for a house show special attraction.

From the AWA. There’s no date given but this would likely be late 1982 (it’s definitely after October 9, 1982 as Otto Wanz is billed as a former World Champion).

$50,000 Battle Royal

Jerry Blackwell, Ken Patera, Buck Zumhoffe, Greg Gagne, Hulk Hogan, Andre The Giant, Baron von Raschke, Bobby Heenan, Kevin Johnson, Tom Lintz, Jim Brunzell, Jacques Goulet, Brad Rheingans, Rick Martel, Bobby Heenan, Adnan Al-Kaissie, Ray Stevens, Adrian Adonis, Bobby Duncum, Otto Wanz, Nick Bockwinkel

Hogan is listed at 335lbs, which is huge for him. Also, since everyone got an individual entrance, I had time to think about something. This is billed as a $50,000 battle royal, with 18 entrants. Commentary said that the participants had put up money for the big prize. But then there was a surprise, as it was now a twenty person battle royal. Now at 18 entrants, $50k breaks down to about $2,777 each. So did the last two entrants have to pay as well and the prize was really about $55k? Or did they get in free? Or did the AWA just pocket the extra entry fees? No wonder they didn’t last.

Commentary says the battle royal is underway, then a few seconds later the bell rings, then a few seconds later the ring announcer says it’s begun. Geez people we can see the concept. Hogan is in early trouble as Andre beats on Patera, who is on the floor but I don’t believe out. There are multiple people on the floor but commentary is not exactly great at telling us who is out.

We get the five minutes in call at less than four minutes as this company can’t get anything right. Adonis hits Andre in the back for some annoyance as we’re told everyone is still officially in. Stevens is finally the first one out and Lintz is out, though Heenan manages to save himself. Patera dumps Johnson as we’re told it’s ten minutes in before it’s even nine. Goulet is out and Adonis goes up top to forearm Raschke, which is quite the odd pairing. Raschke is out soon after and Zumhoffe joins him (good) as Gagne and Adonis fight on the floor without being eliminated.

Rheingans is out and Adonis goes up top again for some reason, with Andre slamming him down. Wanz is out, as is Adonis (billed as the Golden Boy, which is so bizarre given what he would become) and we get a bunch of people almost going out on the same rope before getting back in. Martel is out and things slow down again. We settle down to Heenan and company against the good guys, with Hogan and Andre picking up Gagne and Brunzell to kick various villains away (that’s a visual).

We’re told it’s fifteen minutes in (no) as Brunzell is tossed by Blackwell and Duncum. There goes Gagne and the villains split off to triple team Hogan and Andre in different corners. Hogan is sent through the ropes to the floor, where the beating continues. Andre fights out and gets rid of Blackwell and Al-Kaissie, plus Duncum.

Heenan comes off the top with an ax handle to save Bockwinkel and eliminates himself to avoid Andre… who goes over the top to eliminate himself as well. That leaves Patera and Bockwinkel to double team Hogan, who sends them into each other. Hogan backdrops both of them out to win (and jump up and down in celebration) at 19:52.

Rating: C. I’m not a big AWA guy for the most part, but they have a certain charm about them that was on display here. If nothing else, having Heenan running around trying to run things and then eliminating himself with quite the athletic jump was a great bonus. This had the usual share of standing around, but it’s fun to see such a different version of this kind of match from a promotion that doesn’t get a lot of attention.

From Monday Night Raw, February 15, 1993 (this was on the Invasion Of The Bodyslammers Coliseum Video, albeit with different commentary, so I’ve seen it far too many times).

Battle Royal

Owen Hart, Koko B. Ware, Kamala, Kim Chee, Shawn Michaels, Iron Mike Sharpe, Bob Backlund, Typhoon, Razor Ramon, Damien Demento, Berzerker, Terry Taylor, Skinner, Tito Santana, Tatanka

It’s a big brawl to start and for some reason almost everyone is on one side of the ring. Michaels backdrops Ware out (in a great bump) as commentary talks about Tatanka beating Michaels on Superstars (which I actually watched earlier tonight). Typhoon gets rid of Skinner and Demento is out as well as this is not exactly flying thus far. Berzerker gets rid of Hart but is tossed out by Backlund.

Chee helps Typhoon eliminate Kamala, which just seems like a bad idea. Indeed as Kamala goes back inside to chop Chee and chase him through the crowd and into the concourse as we take a break. We come back (it’s kind awesome that we get to see the stuff in the break on the Coliseum Video) with Kamala chasing Chee through the balcony. Back in the ring, Typhoon gets backdropped over the corner for the elimination and we’re down to Michaels, Ramon, Santana and Tatanka, which breaks down into one heck of a tag match.

Michaels unloads on Tatanka in the corner and Ramon seems to knee Santana low. Santana is back up with the flying forearm and Michaels hits Tatanka with a dropkick. Michaels is sent onto the corner and the good guys kick him out at the same time to get us down to three. And here’s the Giant Gonzalez to knock Ramon through the ropes and throw the other two over before leaving. Ramon climbs back in and wins at 13:32.

Rating: D+. I love the tape and I’ve seen it quite a few times, but yeah this isn’t very good. It’s a few stars with a bunch of filler names and then Gonzalez coming in to wreck everyone at the end. The Kamala chase was funny, but that’s about the only entertaining part. It’s not a terrible match, but it’s pretty boring (until the final four) and that’s worse.

From the AWA, Saint Paul, Minnesota, February 7, 1989.

AWA World Title: Battle Royal

Sgt. Slaughter, Larry Zbyszko, Tom Zenk, Ken Patera, Steve Ray, Greg Gagne, Colonel DeBeers, Ricky Rice, Wayne Bloom, Wahoo McDaniel, Pat Tanaka, Mike Enos, Manny Fernandez, Akio Sato, Derrick Dukes, Mike George, Paul Diamond, Tommy Jammer

For the vacant title. It’s the usual start and there are no entrances here so good luck figuring out who all is in this. This means a lot of choking and brawling near the ropes, with the only interesting note being Diamond Dallas Page on the floor as a manager for apparently three or four people. Jammer is out and Enos (with his very 80s jeans) is as well, followed by I believe George (commentary is useless).

Fernandez is knocked out and a running clothesline gets rid of….someone commentary doesn’t bother to name. Patera is out and Fernandez is back in, as commentary apparently doesn’t get the difference between IN and OUT. DeBeers can’t get rid of Slaughter but someone can get rid of Sato. Fernandez is actually out and a bunch of people are tossed at once. We’re down to Zbyszko, Zenk, Gagne, Tatanka, DeBeers and Slaughter, with Gagne going up top like a moron and missing a top rope stomp.

Gagne is thrown out shortly thereafter and Zenk is on the floor but not out. Slaughter gets rid of Tanaka and DeBeers but gets tossed by Zbyszko. So we’re down two Zenk and Zbyszko as DeBeers brawls with Slaughter. And apparently this is now a regular match, as Zenk hits an atomic drop for two. Zbyszko slams him for two but gets sent hard into the corner. The referee gets bumped (oh sweet goodness) and Zenk hits his dropkick for an incredibly delayed two. A suplex gets two more but Zenk’s crossbody is thrown over the top rope to give Zbyszko the title at 15:38.

Rating: D-. This was a perfect illustration of why the AWA was dying. You had a bunch of people who didn’t feel like stars having an awful battle royal with the ending not really making sense. There was nothing to see here and it was a total mess, which explains the AWA in a nutshell: yeah it existed, but why would you want to watch it?

From the Global Wrestling Federation (early 90s promotion in Dallas), sometime in 1992.

$2000 Bunkhouse Battle Royal

Alex Porteau, Stevie Ray, Booker T, Chaz, Johnny Mantel, Gary Young, Black Bart, Shawn Summers, Rod Price, Scott Putski, Steven Dane, Tug Taylor, Maniac, Dewey, Terry Sill

You can win by over the top or pinfall and….my goodness this place does not have the best looking roster. Price is thrown out and pulls Young with him to get us down to thirteen. Chaz and Dane are both out and Booker beats up Tug Taylor as the Maniac (he’s a bit off) eliminates himself. Booker pins Dewey (I think?) before Summers, Taylor and Putski are all out. Mantel chokes Ray in the corner until Booker makes the save as Bart eliminates Sill. Porteau is out and we’re down to four as we take a break.

We come back with Booker and Ray in stereo chinlocks (in a BATTLE ROYAL) but they fight up…and get pulled back down into the chinlocks. Those are broken up so Ray grabs his own chinlock as I’m amazed at how bad these people are at this stuff. Bart fights up and ties Ray in the ropes while Booker skins the cat to save himself. Ray is back up and tosses Bart and Mantel…meaning Ray and Booker both win at 10:14.

Rating: F. Chinlocks. Multiple chinlocks. In a battle royal. I have no idea how this is the best way they could go, but it offers a good illustration of why this promotion is not exactly remembered positively. This was absolutely nothing and I don’t even get the ending, which wasn’t explained in any way and made a bad match even worse.

From Deep South Wrestling, the disaster of a developmental territory which did produce some good WWE talent, likely in 2005.

Battle Royal

Mike Mizanin, Mike Knox, Mike Shane, Todd Shane, Freakin Deacon, Palmer Cannon, Eric Perez, Nick Mitchell, Roughhouse O’Reilly, Antonio Banks, Mack Johnson, Derek Neikirk, Damien Steele, Kid Kash, Ryan Reeves, Mike Taylor, Joe Slaughter, Johnny Slaughter, Ray Gordy, Tony Santarelli, ???

For a bye in the first round of the Deep South Title tournament and one of the twenty one entrants are never named. Everyone goes after the Regulators (Shane and Shane) to start as commentary is rather hard to understand. One Shane saves the other from a group elimination and Roughhouse O’Reilly (Konnor of the Ascension) has to save himself. Todd Shane is thrown out and Mike Shane follows him as we’re now able to focus on anything else.

The Deacon (Luke Gallows) gets in front of Cannon as everyone tries to charge, with the Deacon eliminating four people in a row. Cannon bails to the floor so Deacon dives onto a bunch of people at once. A bunch of people get rid of Deacon as Cannon is now hiding underneath the ring.

We take a break and come back with Cannon hiding on the floor again as the brawl continues inside. A man in green gets enziguried out but chases Cannon back inside rather than leaving like he should. Well no wonder Cannon ran from that rulebreaker. Everyone looks at Cannon, who dives over the top to eliminate/save himself. Banks (the future MVP) is out and we get down to a bunch of brawling on the ropes. Johnson and Mitchell are eliminated and we take another break.

We come back with nine entrants remaining and the fans behind Reeves (the future Ryback) as someone not important enough to name is tossed. Steele sends Kash to the apron, only for Kash to dump him out. Neikirk has to save himself from being very close to an elimination and O’Reilly is put on the apron. Neikirk and Kash get together to eliminate Reeves and O’Reilly and we’re down to five as we take another break.

We come back with Miz and Taylor staring down with Team Elite (Neikirk, Kash and Knox). Miz gets double teamed in the corner but Kash turns on Knox with a hurricanrana. That earns him a boot to the face from Knox, allowing Taylor and Miz to…not eliminate him. Knox is back up with one heck of a chop to Miz in the corner and they pair off again. Taylor’s hurricanrana takes Kash to the apron but not out, leaving Miz to DDT the other two at the same time.

Taylor and Kash hit a double clothesline and everyone is down. Miz and Taylor are back up to take over on the villains but Taylor misses a charge and gets booted out. That leaves Miz on his own against the three villains, who quickly sends him to the apron to start. Miz manages to pull Kash halfway down though and the other two toss Kash out to get us down to three. Kash grabs at Miz from the floor so here is Taylor to go after him as well. Knox and Neikirk double team Miz but he skins the cat and headscissors Neikirk out. Knox pump kicks Miz in the face for the win at 40:30.

Rating: B. Well DANG that came out of nowhere. I was expecting absolutely nothing here and they wound up having one heck of a match in the end. The last ten minutes or so with Miz and Taylor fighting against the monsters worked great and I wanted to see how they were getting out of it. The time made it work well too, as this had no reason to go this long but they made it work and did something rather good. Nice job here and FAR better than I was expecting.

Overall Rating: D+. Well the winning streak ends at two, as the Deep South match wasn’t enough to make this work. That stretch of the 1993 match, the AWA mess and the horrible Global match dragged this WAY down. There wasn’t much to see here, with the opener and finale being good but not worth your watch. Go and check out the other two entries in the series as they’re a good bit better.

 

 

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WWE Vault: Best Of Sid: What A Nice Ruler

Best Of Sid
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bob Caudle, Gordon Solie, Dusty Rhodes, Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan, Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler,

Sid is next up on the list of stars getting a collection on the WWE Vault and that can make for quite the offering. Usually these Best Of’s are more of a chronological look at someone’s career, which can go rather well. Sid might not be the most polished wrestler, but his charisma can take him a very long way. Let’s get to it.

From Halloween Havoc 1989.

Skyscrapers vs. Road Warriors

The Skyscrapers (with Teddy Long) are Sid and Dan Spivey and the Warriors have Paul Ellering to keep things even. Hawk and Sid have a staredown to start and yeah the fans are way into this. Spivey knocks Animal up against the ropes to start but a clothesline sends Spivey over the top. Hawk comes in to trade shoulders with Spivey, who is more than happy to oblige.

A flying shoulder sends Spivey crashing out to the floor and now it’s off to Sid, who is knocked into the corner as well. Animal is in to shoulder Sid and it’s back to Hawk for the test of strength. Sid actually takes over and starts hammering away, with Sid knocking him down and nipping up. A helicopter slam drops Hawk again and Spivey kicks him out to the floor. That means Sid can drop Hawk onto the barricade, followed by a big boot to the….hip?

Back in and Spivey and Hawk trade suplexes as JR goes on and on about Spivey’s football career. Hawk finally clotheslines his way out of trouble and it’s back to Animal for one heck of a flying shoulder. Sid and Animal get in a fight and the fans are VERY appreciative. Everything breaks down and the managers get into it, with Long throwing in his metal key (it was a thing), which Spivey uses on Hawk for the DQ at 11:39.

Rating: B-. Yeah this worked as it’s exactly what they advertised. This was about four big power guys beating the fire out of each other until the ending when the ending was designed to protect both of them. In this case that makes enough sense and it was a fun trip to get there, which I’ll definitely take.

Post match the brawl stays on, with Hawk hitting the top rope clothesline (that always looked awesome) and stealing the key to clean house.

From Clash Of The Champions IX.

Skyscrapers vs. Steiner Brothers

Oh this should work. Naturally Rick is in the crowd eating popcorn with the fans. The Steiners clear the ring to start and hit their pose, with the Skyscrapers chilling on the floor. We settle down to Spivey tombstoning Rick, who pops back up to take over. Scott comes in for the Frankensteiner and a flipping fall away slam to Sid, because that’s something a human can do.

Back up and Sid misses a heck of a charge into the corner, allowing Scott to start in on the arm. Spivey is back in with a clothesline and a tilt-a-whirl slam, followed by a heck of a big boot. Scott gets up and brings in Rick for the house cleaning as everything breaks down. Cue Doom to go after the Steiners, which is enough for the DQ at 6:08.

Rating: B-. Yeah I could have gone for a lot more of this, as they were beating each other up, with Scott getting to come in there and do his stuff to make him look like a phenom. The Steiners were on another planet in this era and when you gave them a team of big guys to throw around, there was very little that was more entertaining.

Post match the brawl stays on, with Woman (Doom’s manager and the Steiners’ former manager) hits Rick with a shoe. Cue an unnamed giant (later named Nitron, who would be better known for his acting career, as Sabretooth in the original X-Men movies). The Road Warriors run in for the save and it’s a huge brawl.

From WrestleWar 1991.

Sid Vicious/Ric Flair/Barry Windham/Larry Zbyszko vs. Sting/Brian Pillman/Steiner Brothers

It’s WARGAMES. In case you’re somehow unfamiliar, each team sends in a man for the first five minutes. When that is done, there will be a coin toss (the heels will win) and the winning team gets to send in its second man for a two minute advantage. When that time is up, the losing team sends in its second man to even things up for two minutes. Entrances alternate until all eight are in and then it’s first submission only to win.

Windham and Pillman (with a bad shoulder) start things off, with Pillman having to break away from his team to get in first. Pillman clotheslines him down and grabs the top of the cage for a dropkick before stomping away. A head fake lets Pillman hit a missile dropkick and he rakes Windham into the cage. Windham is already busted open and some jawbreakers stagger him even more. Pillman throws him into the other cage as Windham is gushing blood.

Pillman goes after the legs and keeps striking away, setting up a backdrop (which barely works as the ceiling is REALLY low. The first period ends and the villains win the coin toss (of course) so it’s Flair coming in to make it 2-1. Flair goes after Pillman and sends him into the cage and Windham does it as well, with the shoulder taking a beating. A nasty tumble sends Pillman into the other cage and they go after his shoulder until Sting is in to tie it up (the fans go NUTS, as expected).

Sting hits those big bulldogs but Windham crotches Pillman on the top. Flair’s chops have no effect and Sting goes after him in the corner, with the Stinger Splash connecting. Zbyszko (subbing for an injured Arn Anderson, who is at ringside) is in to get the advantage back so Sting dives over two sets of ropes to clothesline him down. Pillman Figure Fours Windham but Flair and Zbyzsko fight back, with Flair kicking Pillman in the shoulder for the break.

Rick comes in and hammers on Flair and Windham to start cleaning house. Flair goes into the cage and gets his head rubbed to draw some blood (the blading was about as obvious as you could get). The villains take over again but Scott Steiner is in to complete the field, meaning it’s officially first submission wins. Sting gets the Scorpion on Flair, which is broken up, so we get the quadruple Figure Four on the bad guys.

Those are broken up so Sting gorilla presses Flair into the roof. The brawling continues and Sid loads up a powerbomb, but Pillman’s feet hit the top of the cage so Sid DROPS HIM ON HIT HEAD (called the shoulder but it was his head). Sid hits another powerbomb and El Gigante comes out to save Pillman (by ripping the door off) so the referee calls it at 21:50.

Rating: A. I know 1992 gets all of the praise (and rightfully so) but DANG this was an outstanding match, as you could feel the hatred and violence between the two sides. It felt like people wanting to get in there and destroy each other and it made for an instant classic. Also of note: once the field was complete, the match was over in about seven minutes. You don’t need the end of WarGames to take half an hour. WWE could learn a lot from this.

From Wrestlemania VIII.

Sid Justice vs. Hulk Hogan

Harvey Wippleman is here with Sid, who jumps Hogan while Real American is still going. Hogan fights back, knocks him to the floor and tears the shirt for an absolutely awesome entrance, all before the bell. Back in and we officially start with Sid knocking him down but Hogan is right there with the right hands to the floor. Sid teases walking out but comes back in to ask for a test of strength. Hogan obliges and is put on his knees until he fights up with a clothesline.

Sid is right back with a chokeslam and stops to yell at the camera, which has Monsoon rather annoyed. Some forearms to the back have Hogan in more trouble and Sid hits him in the back with Wippleman’s doctor bag. The nerve hold goes on and Hogan fights up, which has Heenan annoyed all over again. Sid is right back up with the powerbomb for two, as it’s Hulk Up time. The legdrop connects for two, with Wippleman coming in for the DQ at 12:28.

Rating: C. Yeah it’s really just an ok Hogan match at best, especially with the screwy finish. There’s only so much they could have done here, as Hogan wasn’t going to lose in his alleged retirement match. They did show some good chemistry though, as Hogan knows how to fight a monster like no one else.

Post match Hogan throws Wippleman at Sid as Papa Shango runs in (COMPLETELY missing his cue, as he was supposed to come in and break up the legdrop for the DQ, with Wippleman having to improvise). The beatdown is on….and the ULTIMATE WARRIOR returns for the save.

From Clash Of The Champions XXIII.

Sid Vicious/Vader/Rick Rude vs. Sting/Dustin Rhodes/British Bulldog

The villains have Harley Race and Colonel Robert Parker in their corner. Sting grabs a rather aggressive headlock on Rude to start but Rude powers out. The top wristlock doesn’t work so Sting gorilla presses Rude and throws him at Sid and Vader, who catch him in the air. They throw Rude back at Sting but miss, allowing Rhodes to come in and hammer away.

Vader comes in and gets knocked onto Rude, leaving Bulldog to come in instead. Sid tries his luck and gets punched around the corner, with Sting using the middle rope for a low blow. It’s back to Rhodes who hammers Vader down in the corner, followed by a rather impressive suplex. Rhodes takes too long going up and misses an elbow, allowing Vader to knock him silly with a clothesline.

Rude comes back in for the gordbuster and a rather arrogant cover. Another suplex is blocked but Sid comes back in with a clothesline for two. It’s back to Vader to unload in the corner, only to dive into the powerslam (as tends to be his nature). Rude’s Tombstone is reversed but the referee doesn’t see the tag off to Sting. Bulldog and Sting aren’t having that and come in anyway as the brawl is on. In the melee, Race slips Rude a briefcase, which knocks Rhodes out for the pin at 10:59.

Rating: B. Of course Rhodes was going to take the fall here given who all was in there, but it was a pretty fun match to see these guys beat each other up for a bit. Vader was getting to smash through people and most of the people got to be their usual impressive selves. This was good stuff with the talent involved making that pretty much expected.

Post match Sid and Vader hit a powerbomb on Bulldog but Sting gets the briefcase and cleans house.

From Survivor Series 1996.

WWF Title: Sycho Sid vs. Shawn Michaels

Sid is challenging and the fans in Madison Square Garden just go nuts for him. Michaels has Jose Lothario with him. Sid gets right to the point by slugging away and knocking Michaels into the corner. Back up and Michaels grabs a headlock takeover and grinds away a bit as things slow back down (odd for Michaels but so is Sid).

For some reason Michaels tries a slugout, which doesn’t exactly work very well. Instead Michaels slips out of a gorilla press but ducks down, meaning he has to escape the powerbomb attempt. With the stand up not working, Michaels chop blocks the leg and goes Perfect with a Robinsdale Crunch. Michaels grabs the Figure Four, followed by some drops down onto the knee. Sid kicks him away though and, after shoving a camera away, runs Michaels over without much trouble.

Michaels goes right back to the knee but gets clotheslined out to the floor. A big drop onto the barricade has Michaels in trouble and Sid is limping a bit, even as the fans cheer him like never before. Back in and Sid hits a big backdrop, followed by a whip over the corner but Michaels manages to snap the throat across the top. Sid knocks him into the corner again but Michaels slugs away, setting up a slam. Michaels dives into a raised boot though and we’re off to a cobra clutch.

That sets up the chokeslam but Michaels reverses the powerbomb into a small package for two. With nothing else working, Sid grabs a camera and hits Lothario. Michaels gets in the superkick but makes the mistake of going to check on Lothario rather than covering. Back in and a middle rope crossbody hits the referee so Michaels checks on Lothario again. That’s enough of a delay for Sid to hit Michaels with the camera, followed by the powerbomb for the pin and the title at 20:02.

Rating: C+. This was a fairly slow match with the action not being great, but the crowd reaction here was fascinating. The fans were just not having it with Michaels and they let him know, with Sid getting some very strong reactions. It made for a pretty amazing spectacle and taking the title off of Michaels so he can get it back in his hometown is a pretty simple move.

Post match Lothario is stretchered out and Michaels staggers after him.

From In Your House XII: It’s Time (nice touch by the Vault as commentary was hyping this match up at the end of the Survivor Series match and they transitioned right into it).

WWF Title: Sycho Sid vs. Bret Hart

Sid is defending and Shawn Michaels is on commentary. Hart jumps him during the entrance to start fast and gets clotheslined down for his efforts, allowing Sid to stomp away. Hart fights back and slugs away, managing to knock Sid down this time. Michaels keeps right on both of them as he doesn’t like either guy and doesn’t sound thrilled to be there either.

They head outside again, with Sid getting in a few shots of his own, only for Hart to score with a headbutt back inside. Sid dumps him over the top for a big crash to the floor but can’t hit a powerbomb out there. Instead Hart picks him up for a ram into the post and takes him back inside for a backbreaker. Some elbows stay on the bad back and we hit the reverse chinlock. With that broken up, Hart chokes away in the corner and then takes a turnbuckle pad off (odd to see from him).

A belly to back suplex gets two on Sid and the middle rope elbow to the back gets the same. Hart goes up and gets slammed back down to give Sid a needed breather. Sid kicks away a Sharpshooter attempt…and here is Steve Austin to take out Hart’s knee. Back in and Hart begs away in the corner, which doesn’t work as Sid pounds him down without much trouble.

Hart fights back but misses a charge into the exposed buckle and a chokeslam gives Sid two. A Cactus Clothesline puts them both on the floor, where Hart and Michaels get into it again (shocking I know). Back in and Michaels gets on the apron, with Hart being whipped into him for the crash. The powerbomb retains the title at 17:05.

Rating: B-. This was another example of Hart being able to make anything work, as he knew how to have a good match with someone like Sid. The Michaels stuff was fine as well, as he was the other third of the main event scene around this time. Sid got to do his power stuff and that was always going to work for him.

From the 1997 Royal Rumble.

WWF Title: Sycho Sid vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels, in his hometown and with Jose Lothario, is defending (and has the flu so this might not go well). Thankfully we get at least one more instance of the SID pyro, which is one of the coolest ever. Sid shoves him down a few times to start but Michaels picks up the pace with a running crossbody, allowing him to slam Sid’s head into the mat. They go outside with Sid sending him into the apron, followed by a powerbomb to pull Michaels out of the air back inside.

The camel clutch goes on early, followed by Sid taking him outside for some rams into the post. Back in and we hit the regular chinlock, followed by the back as they keep having to find ways to let Michaels rest. Michaels breaks out but dives into a bearhug, with Sid even kneeling down this time. The big leg sets up a chinlock with a knee in Michaels’ back but he gets up and manages a slam.

There’s the flying forearm and the top rope elbow connects. The superkick is blocked though and Michaels is backdropped over the top for a big crash. The powerbomb plants Michaels on the floor and Sid grabs Lothario. That’s broken up but the referee is bumped inside. Sid’s chokeslam gets no count so another referee comes in for the rather delayed two. The other referee gets punched down so Michaels grabs the camera (ala Survivor Series) to knock Sid down for a VERY delayed near fall. The superkick gives Michaels the title back at 13:48.

Rating: D+. Yeah there wasn’t much that could be done here, as Michaels was barely able to function (for once, not his fault). That meant a lot of laying around in holds until the finish, which was the only way it could have gone. Sometimes it’s ok to set up an obvious finish and then go there, which is exactly what they did here.

From Monday Night Raw, February 17, 1997.

WWF Title: Sycho Sid vs. Bret Hart

Sid is challenging after Hart won the title last night. We’ve tried to do the match twice but Steve Austin has jumped Hart both times. Hart stomps away in the corner to start but Sid just unloads with shots to the ribs. The big whip into the corner has Hart’s back/ribs in more trouble and things slow down. Sid clotheslines him down and stomps away but Hart manages a quick backbreaker.

JR incorrectly says that Sid isn’t 6’9 on the mat before Hart hits the middle rope elbow. Sid gets his own two off a backbreaker and it’s time to choke on the ropes. Hart is able to get up and kick the leg out before jumping down onto it in the Ric Flair starter package. The Figure Four around the post has Sid in more trouble and we take a break.

We come back with Hart working on the leg in the corner until Sid drops him with a clothesline. The big legdrop gets two and a middle rope version crushes Hart for the same. A rake to the eyes breaks up the chokeslam attempt but Sid avoids a charge to send him crashing into the ropes. The powerbomb attempt is broken up and Sid is sent outside, followed by the Sharpshooter back inside. Sid tries to power out and gets quite the assist from Steve Austin, who comes in to crack Hart with a chair. The powerbomb gives Sid the pin and the title at 11:55 (the first time the title had ever been won on Raw).

Rating: C+. It wasn’t quite as good as their pay per view match but Austin screwing Hart over will never get old. Having Hart lose the title the night after he won it played into his conspiracy deal perfectly well as things were starting to get bad for him in a hurry. At the same time, Sid gets the title back and is likely headed to Wrestlemania, which is a fine way to go as he’s been around the title scene for months now.

Post match Sid celebrates until Undertaker comes out for the staredown to set up Wrestlemania.

From Wrestlemania XIII.

WWF Title: Sycho Sid vs. Undertaker

Sid is defending and Shawn Michaels is on commentary. The bell rings and they stare each other down..and Bret Hart is here. Michaels mocks Hart for not being happy about not being in the main event. Hart yells at Michaels for faking an injury (eh, exaggerating but not exactly faking), blames Undertaker for ending their friendship by slamming a cage door in his face, and saying that the title belongs to him.

Sid responds with a powerbomb and tells Hart to get out of here. Hart is carried out and the bell rings again, with Undertaker hammering him to start. A boot in the corner staggers Sid and a Stinger Splash of all things connects for Undertaker. Old School connects but Sid doesn’t actually go down, allowing him to grab Undertaker in a bearhug. That stays on for a good while and they go to the floor, with Undertaker being dropped onto the announcers’ table.

Sid rams him into the post for two back inside and we hit the camel clutch. This lets Michaels get in a great bit of psychology that so many people miss: Sid is going to stick with power because it’s what makes things work. Why would he make it more complicated than that? A powerslam gives Sid two and the slow beating continues. They head outside with Undertaker sending him into the steps for a needed breather but Sid pounds him back down. This allows commentary to point out that oh yeah this is no holds barred.

The chinlock goes on again but Undertaker fights up and hits a powerslam. Undertaker grabs a nerve hold for a bit, followed by a clothesline for two. Back up and they both hit big boots to put them both down. Michaels: “Sid can lay there all day and walk out with the championship belt.” Well not if he lays there while Undertaker covers him. Sid is back up with a middle rope ax handle and a middle rope punch to the face. Undertaker catches him up top and slams him off, setting up the always great top rope clothesline.

Lawler gets in an interesting line by suggesting that they’re both scared the other can kick out of the finisher. That’s an interesting thought but Undertaker tries the Tombstone, which Sid reverses into one of his own for two. They go outside where Hart pops up again with a chair shot to Sid’s back. An awkward looking chokeslam gets two on Sid and he avoids the jumping clothesline. The powerbomb is loaded up but Hart comes in AGAIN. This time it’s something like a Stunner over the top to send Sid into the Tombstone to give Undertaker the title at 21:23.

Rating: D+. I’ve seen this match a bunch of times and it’s not overly good. They had similar styles and it didn’t make for the most thrilling match. The best part is probably Michaels burying Hart on commentary, which never gets old. It didn’t help that this was coming after the all time classic of Hart vs. Austin, but I get why you want to close Wrestlemania with the title change.

Post match Undertaker poses for a good while, with JR getting in the awesome line of “the WWF Title lives in the Dark Side!”.

From ECW Guilty As Charged 1999.

Judge Jeff Jones isn’t happy with Kronus for attacking him so he is sentencing him to pain. Guess who is providing said pain.

Sid Vicious vs. Kronus

Kronus hammers on Sid to start and that goes very badly. Sid chokeslams him over the top and through a table, followed by some chair shots to the back. The fans demand and receive a powerbomb and Kronus is done at 1:31. To say the fans lose their minds is an understatement as Sid is as over as free beer in a frat house. Sid’s bizarre charisma and power style were tailor made for a short run in ECW and I’m not surprise in the slightest that the fans went that nuts. Nothing match of course, but Sid in ECW is a great thing to see, as it couldn’t have gone much better.

The fact that we’re skipping multiple WCW World Titles in the late 90s is rather telling of how bad things were back then.

Overall Rating: B-. After he passed away, someone said that Sid was the person who looked most like a wrestler and….yeah I can see it. If you look at him, “professional wrestler” probably comes to mind. He was big, he was scary, he was in good shape and he felt just a bit off. It was an odd charisma that always worked and it’s a big reason why he became such a star.

No the matches weren’t very good a lot of the time, but that’s kind of the point. Sid worked because he fit the mold of a wrestler and that’s hard to break. There’s a reason he had two Wrestlemania matches and both of them were the main event (a feat which will likely never be duplicated): he worked very well in short runs, which is what made his career such a success.

 

 

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Wrestling Gold Volume 1: Busted Open: Needs More Busting Open

Wrestling Gold #1: Busted Open
Commentators: Jim Cornette, Dave Meltzer

So this is a set I’ve wanted to do for a VERY long time. The idea here is very simple, as you have a collection of old territory wrestling, but the catch is Jim Cornette and Dave Meltzer are doing insider/expert commentary. The matches seem to be in random order so I have no idea what to expect here but it should be fun. Let’s get to it.

Unless I’m missing it, there are no dates or promotions for the matches so unless we’re told something, it’ll be little more than a guess.

Cornette and Meltzer give us some quick on camera introductions, which seems to be the case for every match.

Sherri Martel vs. Judy Martin

This seems to be from 1981/1982. Feeling out process to start with Martel taking her to the mat to little avail. Commentary isn’t sure if Martel started as one of Playboy Buddy Rose’s Playgirls (Cornette doesn’t think so) as Martin is back with a snapmare. A legdrop misses and Martel hits a headknocker, only for the second attempt to be countered with a backdrop. Back up and Martin tries a double chickenwing, which is reversed into a rollup for the pin at 4:33, with commentary being a bit surprised by such an athletic move.

Rating: C. As you can guess here, the wrestling is not the point as this is ALL about the commentary explaining what is going on. At the same time, this is probably going to be a bunch of public domain/easily accessible wrestling, though the set is from 2004 so YouTube wasn’t a thing yet. Either way, not much to see here, with the ending being the only big spot.

Shawn Michaels vs. Ken Johnson

The only record I can find for these two is in a tag match in July 1985 so we can assume it’s near that time. It’s also clearly the same ring and announcer as the first match, but if the commentary is right, it’s a few years apart. Cornette isn’t sure who Michaels’ first opponent would have been (it was Art Crews) but this has to be close to it. Michaels headlocks him down to start and hits a crossbody, followed by another headlock.

A belly to back suplex drops Michaels as Meltzer talks about Michaels’ history, including the rumors of a comeback after his last match in 1998. Cornette has to praise Michaels, despite their personal issues, which is quite the praise. Johnson misses a charge into the post and Michaels hits a backdrop into some dropkicks. A powerslam finishes Johnson at 4:18.

Rating: C+. Definitely a better match, but as commentary pointed out, that’s kind of Michaels’ thing. He could have a good match against anyone and it was awesome to see him do his thing and make it work so well. You could hear commentary loving what they were seeing here and it’s easy to see that Michaels could do the basic stuff so well so soon but the more complicated stuff was coming really fast too.

From Southwest Championship Wrestling in San Antonio, Texas, March 21, 1983.

SWCW Tag Team Titles: Gino Hernandez/Tully Blanchard vs. The Grapplers

The Grapplers are defending and have Don Carson with him. Cornette goes on one heck of a history lesson about Carson, with even Meltzer seemingly having never heard a bunch of it. Grappler #1 and Hernandez start things off until #2 comes in to headlock Blanchard down. Some knees to the back set up a chinlock, followed by a hard whip into the corner. That doesn’t go very far and it’s off to Hernandez for some elbows to the head.

#1 elbows him back into the corner though and it’s back to Blanchard as commentary goes on a long rant about how SWCW was pulled off of the USA Network and replaced by the WWF. Blanchard pulls #2 into a chinlock and manages to cut off a tag as they’re all heels so they know what they’re doing. We take a break (I think) and it’s back to Blanchard, even without a tag.

Blanchard gets elbowed back and caught in the wrong corner so a double elbow can get two. A swinging neckbreaker gives #2 two on Blanchard and the Grapplers trade spots behind the referee’s back. Hernandez comes back in for more elbows and a dropkick as commentary goes on a rant about David Arquette winning the WCW World Title. Hernandez accidentally hits Blanchard and then rams #1 into him, setting up an O’Connor roll for the pin and the titles at 8:59 shown.

Rating: B-. I liked this fairly well as there was something to be said about having two heel teams going for the titles. Blanchard and Hernandez were rather good together and you could see that the Grapplers had chemistry of their own. It’s a nice thing to see, if nothing else for the star power involved.

And then Blanchard turns on Hernandez with a belt shot. Cornette: “That’s a surprise even to me!” Hernandez is busted open and the Grapplers beat him down again. Hernandez manages to fight back in what should be one heck of a face turn.

Gino Hernandez vs. Tully Blanchard

We’re in Houston and possibly on May 21, 1983 and boxer Earnie Shavers is guest referee. Blanchard bails straight to the floor to start and decks a photographer. Back in and Blanchard hides in the ropes, setting up the Terry Funk teeter totter spot. Hernandez sends him outside again and does a bit of a dance as commentary talks about how Paul Boesch and Houston Wrestling was crushing all promotions, like this one, coming into the city.

Hernandez sends him into the corner a few times but misses a charge, allowing Blanchard to tie the arm in the ropes. This leaves commentary to explain the split up of the once massive Texas territory into the territories they are best known for being later on. Hernandez gets whipped hard into the corner for a heck of a Flair Flip out to the floor. Back in and the bleeding Hernandez is gyrating on the mat a bit so Blanchard kicks him out to the floor again.

Commentary points out that Lou Thesz is at ringside as Hernandez backdrops his way out of a piledriver attempt. Hernandez fights back and Blanchard is busted open as well, which gets commentary off of the Thesz stories. Blanchard is knocked out onto the announcers’ table, leaving Hernandez to hit a suplex back inside. A top rope (backwards) elbow misses but Blanchard makes the mistake of going after Shavers. That means a big knockout and Hernandez hits a middle rope splash for the pin at 12:17.

Rating: B. Pretty easily the best match of the set thus far as these guys looked like they wanted to beat the fire out of each other. That’s what you want to see out of a match like this and Hernandez was showing some good fire. You can tell when something like that is working and it certainly was here, with Blanchard getting to be his nature heel self.

From Southwest Championship Wrestling, May 21, 1983 in Houston, Texas.

SWCW World Title: Bob Orton Jr. vs. Adrian Adonis

For the inaugural title and Lou Thesz is here to present the winner with the title, along with a 75 year old World Title. Adonis, with a taped up forehead, works on the arm to start and Orton is back with an armbar. They fight over a top wristlock, which isn’t exactly action packed so commentary talks about Adonis’ time in the AWA. A headscissors takes Orton down as Cornette talks about Bob’s son Randy starting to train.

Adonis stays on the arm and Orton bails out to the floor. Back in and Orton works on the arm as well as commentary talks about Adonis’ weight issues killing his career. Adonis pulls him down into a hammerlock again but Orton gets an armbar as this is as riveting as it sounds. Orton continues the cranking, with Adonis tapping about ten years before that meant anything pretty much anywhere. Adonis fights up and hits an atomic drop to pick up the pace a bit but a middle rope splash hits raised knees.

Orton punches him into the post for two as commentary moves on to the title just kind of vanishing when the promotion lost the USA Network. Back up and Adonis sends him into the corner but he gets flipped in the corner for a big crash. Orton can’t superplex him and falls down, with Cornette admitting that the Midnight Express stole some stuff from Orton and Dick Slater. Adonis is back up with a sleeper, which is reversed into the same thing from Orton. That’s reversed as well though, with Adonis getting a small package for the pin and the title at 15:47.

Rating: C-. This got going near the end but the armbars and hammerlocks were more than a bit dull. They were just laying there on the mat without much going on and that’s only going to be so interesting. Adonis winning the title is certainly a way to go, but it’s fairly clear that he’s not quite some major star at this point. Still though, the last five minutes did get a good bit better, but maybe pick up the pace a bit before then.

We get the big title presentation.

Abdullah The Butcher vs. Bruiser Brody

We’re in San Antonio with Southwest Championship Wrestling (possibly July 1, 1984) and joined in progress with Brody chopping him in the head. They go inside and the referee gets punched down, leaving the other two to strike it out. Another referee comes in and gets taken out as well, allowing commentary to talk about the idea and thinking behind booking the match.

They brawl into the crowd (again) and Brody hits him with a piece of wood. More wood shots to the head have Butcher in more trouble but he chokes Brody down. They slug it out even more as commentary talks about Butcher making sure no one steals his wallet. Butcher is knocked off a platform and walks out at 5:12 shown.

Rating: C+. This is one of those things that works because they aren’t trying to do anything out of their comfort zone. A promoter would book this match for the sake of letting them beat the daylights out of each other and that’s exactly what we got here. It made for a fun brawl, though once you’ve seen one of them, you’ve kind of seen them all.

From July 4, 1983 in San Antonio, Texas from a show co-promoted by Southwest Championship Wrestling and Georgia Championship Wrestling.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Scott Casey

Zbyszko is from Georgia and Casey doesn’t like the invader. Joined in progress as they fight over a top wristlock as commentary tries to figure out the date of the match. Zbyszko snaps off a hiptoss and grabs a chinlock to slow things back down. This lets us talk about the Showdown At Shea show, with Meltzer rattling off the attendance and gate, blowing even Cornette’s mind.

Casey fights up but gets caught in another headlock, which is broken up with a backbreaker. Casey’s gutwrench suplex drops Zbyszko for two and they go outside, with Casey being sent into a table. Back in and Zbyszko hammers away but Casey suplexes his way out of trouble. A butterfly suplex and a neckbreaker drop Zbyszko for two and we hit the sleeper. That’s reversed into a cradle with Zbyszko putting his feet on the ropes for the win at 7:08.

Rating: B-. Zbyszko might not be the most thrilling star in the world but he was able to have a good match just about all of the time. That was the case here as they did some nice stuff here. Casey is someone who was a good hand back in his day and it’s easy to see why he wound up being a successful trainer.

Post match Tully Blanchard comes out to pose with Zbyszko but Eric Embry comes out and it’s a big brawl. Stan Hansen comes in to clear out Blanchard and Zbyszko.

From Southwest Championship Wrestling in San Antonio, Texas, August 15, 1982.

Jerry Lawler vs. Bob Sweetan

This is a battle of the piledrivers. Before the match, Lawler requests more respect from the crowd, who doesn’t seem interested. Lawler is wearing tights here rather than the singlet, which is quite the visual. Sweetan steals the crown to start and it’s already time for Lawler to bail to the floor. Back in and Lawler doesn’t like the weapons check so Sweetan chases him outside.

Lawler gets the mic to yell a lot and we finally get the opening bell. Some right hands miss for Sweetan and Lawler punches away, with Sweetan chasing him to the floor. Lawler heads outside and says that his shots were open hand strikes so the referee shouldn’t be yelling at him. Back in and Lawler still isn’t happy but goes with the right hand to get on Sweetan’s nerves.

This lets Cornette explain the psychology behind Lawler’s matches as Lawler gets hit in the face, sending him bailing to the floor, unlike Sweetan, who stood there and took it. Back in and Lawler hides in the ropes as the stalling continues. Sweetan tries a piledriver and of course Lawler bails out to the floor. Naturally he grabs the mic again and says the piledriver is illegal where he comes from.

Lawler gets back in but bails again as the stalling continues. Back in (again) and Lawler goes to the eyes as Cornette points out that Lawler is doing most of the work but isn’t even breathing heavy. The fist drop misses and Lawler has to fight out of a piledriver attempt. Sweetan works on the arm but Lawler pops up and slugs away with left hands, followed by a big right.

The piledriver is broken up and Sweetan makes the comeback, including a belly to back suplex for two. Another belly to back gives Sweetan the pin at 12:55, even if Lawler’s foot was on the rope. Ignore that it was on the rope after the three but the referee says keep it going anyway. Sweetan charges into a knee in the corner and Lawler gets a rollup for the pin at 13:35.

Rating: C+. While Cornette’s praise of Lawler was a bit insane at times, he was right in saying that Lawler carried the whole thing here. There is only so much you can do when Sweetan is pretty much useless and only there for the sake of being able to do the piledriver. Lawler was pestering the fans, winding Sweetan up and doing his thing in the ring, without actually doing much physically. The fans stayed with him though, which is why this stuff works so well.

Post match Sweetan piledrives Lawler.

From Southwest Championship Wrestling in San Antonio, Texas, August 15, 1982. This is the same show as the Lawler vs. Sweetan match.

SWCW Tag Team Titles: Terry Funk/Ivan Putski vs. Gino Hernandez/Tully Blanchard

Hernandez and Blanchard are defending. We’re joined in progress with Hernandez hitting a dropkick on Funk and Blanchard comes in for a piledriver. Commentary buries Putski, who hasn’t even come in yet, hoping that Funk gets to do most of the work here. Hernandez drops a top rope elbow for two but Funk sends Blanchard through the ropes for a needed breather.

A slingshot spear hits Funk but the referee gets bumped, with Blanchard then slamming Funk onto the referee for a bonus. Putski comes in anyway to clean house as everything breaks down. Putski counters a suplex and lands on Blanchard…with a young Ricky Morton coming in to count the pin at 3:08.

Rating: C+. We didn’t get much here but what mattered the most was having Funk out there doing his thing with some talented opponents. Blanchard and Hernandez were clearly the hot team but they needed more than one good challenger. I’ll take all of the Funk I can get though and…well Putski was there too.

That seems to count so Hernandez and Blanchard lay Morton out. Ken Lucas (Morton’s partner) runs in for the save. Putski and Funk get back in as well and the villains are cleared out. Oh and Morton’s interference is a DQ, as it should be. Lucas shouts at the heels.

From Southwest Championship Wrestling in San Antonio, Texas, August 15, 1982. Third match in a row.

Dick Slater vs. Mongolian Stomper

In a cage with Bob Sweetan as guest referee. We’re joined in progress again with Stomper hammering away and grabbing a claw as Cornette puts over Stomper as an all time legend. The claw keeps Slater down but Slater is back up with an elbow to the head. Slater is sent into the cage though and we’re right back to the claw. That’s finally broken up so Stomper rams him into the cage again. We’re back to the claw as commentary talks about how ugly Stomper and Sweetan both happen to be.

Slater fights up and sends him into the cage a few times. Stomper is busted open again, leaving commentary to mock the age of Stomper’s manager Don Carson. Slater goes up for a top rope stomp, followed by the snap jabs. A low blow gets Stomper out of trouble but the big stomp is actually blocked. Sweetan gets knocked down but comes up to block Stomper from using a boot. Instead Slater takes it away and hits Stomper for the pin at 8:59 shown.

Rating: C. This took some time to get going but once they got away from the claw holds, the match got a lot better. It’s weird to see Slater as the good guy in the whole thing but there is no reason to have Stomper as a hero most of the time. At the same time, Sweetan was barely a factor until the ending, which is often the best thing for a wrestler.

Post match Carson distracts Sweetan so Stomper can get in a cheap shot. Slater fights back but Carson comes in and Stomper chokes Slater out. A loaded glove has Slater in more trouble but Santo Negro comes in off the top of the cage and Coco Samoa helps make the save.

From Southwest Championship Wrestling in San Antonio, Texas, August 15, 1982. This has to be the last match from this show right?

AWA World Title: Nick Bockwinkel vs. Bruiser Brody

Bockwinkel is defending and has Bobby Heenan in his corner, with Lou Thesz as guest referee. We’re joined in progress again with Bockwinkel working on a headscissors as commentary buries Thesz’s weird referee shirt. Brody fights out and knocks Bockwinkel back as commentary explains the importance of the AWA World Title. A bearhug has Bockwinkel in trouble but a Heenan distraction breaks it up.

Bockwinkel actually wins a slugout and we’re right back to the headscissors. Some big right hands put Brody on the floor as the brawling is oddly going to Bockwinkel here. Back in and Brody wins a slugout before sending Bockwinkel into the apron. A top rope shot to the head drops Bockwinkel, as Brody is getting fired up. Bockwinkel needs a breather on the floor and a big slam connects, only for Heenan to offer a distraction.

Back in and Brody hits the big knee drop but Heenan offers another distraction, earning himself a pull into the ring. Brody unloads on Heenan, only to throw Bockwinkel over the top (uh oh). Heenan is tossed as well and Brody brings in a chair, which is taken away. Heenan and Bockwinkel walk out at 9:55 shown.

Rating: B-. Yeah this worked, with the format being a bit surprising as Bockwinkel won a lot of the brawling. Once Brody started fighting back though, everything picked up and it was a lot of fun. Brody is someone who could do the fired up comeback while still looking like a monster, while Heenan and Bockwinkel could do…well pretty much anything.

And apparently it’s a DQ instead of a countout.

Overall Rating: B-. These things are really hard to rate overall as it’s a case where the real draw is the commentary rather than the wrestling. There’s some good action to be seen though, with quite a few all time stars. It was a bit much to see so much from the same promotion and even show, but Cornette and Meltzer could talk about just about anything. Either way, fun stuff here and I’m looking forward to see the variety we get on the other discs.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AWA All-Star Wrestling – February 17, 1990: I’m As Surprised As You Are

IMG Credit: WWE

AWA All Star Wrestling
Date: February 17, 1990
Location: Mayo Civic Center, Rochester, Minnesota
Commentators: Greg Gagne, Ralph Strangis

The AWA is a promotion that has never done much for me but someone wanted me to look at something from their final year. This is in no way representative of what they were capable of doing and the promotion is basically dead on its feet at this point. I’m not sure what this is going to look like but it isn’t likely to be good. Let’s get to it.

We have a big cage match main event but the Trooper (better known as the Patriot) cannot be here because his parents were in a car wreck. The match is still taking place but Paul Diamond will need to find a new partner.

DJ Peterson vs. Jimmy Magnum

Peterson is being pushed as a young guy with a lot of potential. They circle each other a bit until Peterson takes him down by the leg. The cranking is on, followed by a legdrop between the legs. The leg is tied together with Peterson ripping at the face as we hear about AWA World Champion Mr. Saito defending the title in Moscow. I’m a bit dubious on that. Peterson hits a suplex and a top rope shoulder, setting up a Sharpshooter (with Peterson kneeling) for the submission at 2:58. Peterson looked muscular but there were a lot of people who could have done the same thing.

Eric Bischoff interviews Paul Diamond about the main event and he has an idea for a partner. That would be former Olympian Brad Rheingans, who seems to have some issues with the Destruction Crew and would love some revenge.

Larry Zbyszko vs. The Cobra

Larry is a big deal around here (not an interesting one, but still big) and the Cobra is your generic masked guy. Commentary brags about the AWA’s gate at the Tokyo Dome being bigger than Mike Tyson vs. Buster Douglas the next night. I’d love to see some non-AWA proof of that. Or proof that it wasn’t a New Japan show with an AWA match included. Larry drives him into the corner to start and hammers away, followed by the choking on the mat. A suplex connects and Larry rants about how unfair it was to lose the World Title to Saito. The piledriver finishes Cobra at 2:00. Total squash.

Post match Larry rants about thinking Charles Darwin being a crock but then he saw the Japanese and knew what Darwin meant by the slime of the earth. Larry rants about Japanese cars and knowing that he is the real World Champion.

Next week, Larry Zbyszko vs. Nikita Koloff in a Team Challenge Series (rather long and complicated series of matches with the roster divided into teams and the most points winning) match. We see some clips of the match that set it up…..I think. Commentary makes it sound like this is the match we’ll be seeing next week.

Nikita Koloff vs. The Annihilator

Annihilator jumps him from behind and has all of the success that you would expect. A slam and shoulder set up the Russian Sickle to finish Annihilator at 1:08.

Post match Koloff says he’s ready to face Zbyszko in a 2/3 falls match next week so he can become #1 contender. It’s about the title and the pride.

The Destruction Crew, behind a piece of cage, is ready for the cage match, even though Mike Enos is horribly claustrophobic. Enos panics and Wayne Bloom has to calm him down.

Brad Rheingans and Paul Diamond are ready too.

We get a Team Challenge Series update. Sarge’s Snipers have cut Baron’s Blitzers’ lead to just two points after a Triathlon match (a tug of war was involved) and we’re on the way to the second half of the season. Larry’s Legends are in third.

Here are the current standings:

Baron’s Blitzers – 23

Sarge’s Snipers – 21

Larry’s Legends – 17

Destruction Crew vs. Paul Diamond/Brad Rheingans

The Crew’s Tag Team Titles aren’t on the line. That would be Larry’s Legends vs. Baron’s Blitzers and the winners get two points. Rheingans, who was put on the shelf by the Crew for nine months, starts fast and the brawl is on in a hurry. Enos tries to escape but gets pulled down by Rheingans as we settle down to a regular match, including tags. In a CAGE match. A piledriver plants Enos and it’s off to Diamond for a headlock.

Some running shoulders drop Enos but he avoids a charge to send Diamond into the cage. It’s time to go after the busted open head and Enos grabs a chinlock. Bloom comes in for some more rams into the cage, plus a rub across the steel (always a good thing). Diamond reverses Enos’ suplex into a gordbuster and the hot tag brings in Rheingans to beat on Bloom.

A catapult sends Bloom into the….well top rope actually as he doesn’t quite hit the cage. It busts him open anyway so Rheingans hammers away but still manages to punch Enos out of the air. It’s back to Diamond for a hard clothesline but a dropkick misses. Bloom comes in and cheap shot Rheingans as Enos goes up, only to get crotched on the top. The referee gets bumped as Diamond grabs a victory roll on Bloom. Another referee slides in to count the three at 9:17.

Rating: B-. Better than expected here and that’s a nice thing to see. The Crew was one of the last big acts for the company and while I can see the potential, I don’t quite get the entire appeal. Then again that might be because they wound up being the Beverly Brothers in the WWF and that didn’t quite go so well.

Post match Rheingans gets out but Larry Zbyszko slams the cage door on Diamond’s head, leaving him alone with the Crew. The beatdown is on, including the Wrecking Ball (Doomsday Device) as Rheingans chases Larry, who threw the key in the ring, to the back. Another Wrecking Ball leaves Diamond laying as Rheingans runs back for the way too late save attempt.

Back from a break and Diamond has to be helped out of the ring.

Commentary wraps it up.

Overall Rating: C-. Actually better than I was expecting here with a pretty good main event and a big match being set up for next week. It wasn’t a great show or even a good one, but for the AWA in 1990, this was as close to a masterpiece as they were going to get. They got a decent amount of stuff in and while it isn’t exactly thrilling, I’ll take a watchable show over the usually slow and weak events this promotion is known for.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Monday Nitro – January 10, 2000: That Old Feeling

Monday Nitro #222
Date: January 10, 2000
Location: Marine Midland Arena, Buffalo, New York
Attendance: 8,990
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay

How can this already be the last Nitro before Souled Out? With all the nonsense that goes on around here these days, it’s very hard to keep up with the time frame. It doesn’t help that they keep changing things around as Russo continues to lose influence. Oddly enough that loss has power has coincided with my headaches subsiding after these shows. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Terry Funk getting beaten up over and over by the NWO. Suddenly Ric Flair is the smartest man in wrestling.

Terry Funk, Larry Zbyszko, Arn Anderson and Paul Orndorff arrive. This is really their big solution to Goldberg’s injury? A lineup of wrestlers who were veterans eight years earlier?

Tag Team Titles: Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn vs. Kidman/Konnan vs. David Flair/Crowbar

Flair and Crowbar are defending. Falls count anywhere, likely due to this being close to ECW territory. The Animals and Revolution start brawling before the champions get out here so David and Crowbar are late to the fight. With Shane sitting in on commentary and demanding to only be referred to as the Franchise, Crowbar lays Kidman out with a sitout gordbuster.

It’s time to get the weapons and they might as well start piping in the ECW chants already. Flair and Crowbar take over with their weapons as the Revolution destroys Rey in the aisle. In the insanity, Douglas and Malenko put Mysterio on a table so Saturn can channel his inner New Jack for a splash from the balcony. Saturn is broken in half (though nowhere near as badly as Rey) so David comes over and pins him to retain.

Rating: E. I think you know what that stands for. Let’s see: no wrestling in sight, a bunch of weapons, falls count anywhere, a huge dive out of the balcony through someone on a table. As usual, WCW has no idea what it’s trying to be so it just rips off another promotion’s ideas step for step.

Tony tells us that Terry Funk is booking the show on the fly tonight so they have no idea what the matches will be. I actually kind of like the idea as they often make matches throughout the night so why not just admit that you’re doing it?

Recap of Harlem Heat splitting. That would be the 2000 split in case you’re confused with all the other splits they’ve had over the years.

The NWO gives Scott Steiner some women of questionable character for a birthday present.

We look back at the ending to the opener. Mysterio leaves in an ambulance, along with the Animals.

Steiner goes into a room with three of the women, promising the rest will have a turn later.

Here’s Oklahoma to continue his anti-woman crusade. Oh geez can we go back to the New Jack imitations? He insults women and wants them all to stay in the kitchen where they belong, except for an open challenge right now.

Oklahoma vs. Asya

Well who else was it going to be? She shoves him down and knocks off his hat so Oklahoma nails her from behind, knocking it out to the floor. Asya slams him down and here’s Madusa, with blue hair, as Oklahoma nails Asya with a bottle of barbecue sauce. Madusa takes a broom to the head and Oklahoma takes the belt.

Juventud Guerrera, Psychosis, Kidman, Rey Mysterio, Dean Malenko, Lenny Lane, La Parka. There’s no reason I’m listing these names off. They just happened to come to my mind.

Here are Funk, Zbyszko, Anderson and Orndorff with something to say. Funk says Nash’s powerbomb on Thunder is nowhere near enough and he pulled these three men off the unemployment line to help him fight this battle. They’re the Old Age Outlaws (egads) but they’re more than young enough to take care of the NWO.

Arn talks about wanting to get some revenge the old fashioned way, Zbyszko bores the crowd by talking about tradition and Orndorff talks about the talent from the Power Plant that he helped train. Why the Power Plant guys aren’t in this spot isn’t exactly clear. It’s also not clear why this story continues as the crowd is eerily silent.

Cue the NWO to make the obvious old jokes. Nash is looking forward to being the Commissioner on Sunday but Funk says he’s still in charge tonight. Like for instance, tonight Jarrett, in a Tennessee Titans jersey for some cheap heat, is going to be in three matches: a regular match, a Bunkhouse Brawl and a cage match. The title won’t be on the line or anything, but I guess that’s out of respect for Benoit. Speaking of Benoit, he’ll be refereeing all three matches, which will be against some of Funk’s close friends.

As for the rest of the NWO, Hart will defend against Nash and if they don’t fight, both guys are suspended for a year. Hart and Nash don’t mind the threat and say they’ll take the year off. You know, because they don’t care about wrestling. Steiner swears a lot, but since he isn’t cleared to wrestle, Funk is going to wash his mouth out with soap.

Let’s stop and take a look at this for a bit. Here’s what we have in this story:

NWO

Bret Hart – Debuted in the WWF in 1985, fifteen year veteran on the national stage

Kevin Nash – Debuted in WCW in 1990, ten year veteran on the national stage

Scott Steiner – Debuted in WCW in 1989, eleven year veteran on the national stage

Jeff Jarrett – Debuted in the WWF in 1993, seven year veteran on the national stage

Now let’s look at the old guys.

Old Age Outlaws

Terry Funk – 54, debuted in 1965, lost the NWA World Title twenty five years ago

Arn Anderson – 41, debuted in 1982, retired as a regular wrestled three years ago

Paul Orndorff – 50, debuted in 1976, retired as a regular wrestler four years ago, hit his peak thirteen years ago

Larry Zbyszko – 48, debuted in 1973, retired as a regular wrestler five years ago, hit his peak twenty years ago

So we have Terry Funk as the only active wrestler, with Larry Zbyszko probably being the healthiest as he retired from active competition in 1994 and has wrestled three matches since. Anderson and Orndorff can’t wrestle and Zbyszko didn’t, so we’re left with Terry Funk, who first retired in 1983, fighting the entire NWO. This is their main event storyline with Benoit as the young guy fighting the midcard champion instead of fighting for the World Title.

How is this supposed to appeal to younger fans? I get how the older generation would appeal to older fans or really big time fans, but even they can only hang with this for so long. The younger fans though see these old guys hogging the spots that the younger guys should be having.

Orndorff mentioned training eight people at the Power Plant. Why not bring them up? You have one of the best talkers of all time in Arn Anderson and two very good talkers in Funk and Orndorff. What WCW needed was a fresh batch of main event talent. You might even say they need a revolution to take over that part of the card.

Instead, guys like Benoit, Malenko, Saturn and Douglas are busy chasing Janitor Jim Duggan around and trying to make him denounce America because they view themselves as a sovereign nation and hate this country while Oklahoma is chasing the Cruiserweight Title and a freakshow tag team like David Flair and Crowbar holding the Tag Team Titles because David is nuts after something about his dad sleeping with Kimberly. Booker T. on the other hand is busy splitting up with Stevie Ray again.

There is no one to cheer for right now and the best solution is to bring in people who used to be over and have them give the rub to….themselves. Yeah Benoit is around and they mentioned him, but you don’t see them working together or helping each other out because the solution is to just have them talk about tradition, much like Vince McMahon did in the early days of his war against Steve Austin. That’s WCW’s big solution to get people to cheer: act like one of the greatest heel characters of all time against the cool heels. It’s like they’re taking every possible bad idea and running with it.

Post break, Funk tells Arn to go find someone.

Arn looks into a limo but finds Kimberly instead of whomever he was looking for.

Video on Page vs. Bagwell.

Gene calls out Page and Bagwell but the control room can be heard telling him that they need a bit more because the intro didn’t go long enough. Is that some massive rib that I just don’t get? That stuff only started when Russo arrived and I have no idea how it’s supposed to be interesting or how the production team could possibly be that inept. Anyway, Gene asks them to be civil for five minutes and we have a countdown clock on the screen.

They talk a lot of trash and Buff insists he and Kimberly are just friends. Apparently Buff and Kimberly have great sexual chemistry (Buff’s words) but Page has been hearing that Buff has been telling the boys that Kimberly has a sexy birthmark. That’s for Page’s eyes only, but Buff says everyone has seen it. That earns him a right hand to the jaw so Buff pulls out a police baton that he just happened to have with him. So much for the countdown clock.

Nash and Bret insist that they won’t sit down. I’m sure there won’t be a swerve whatsoever.

Arn finds another car.

Jeff Jarrett vs. ???

Benoit is guest referee and this is a Bunkhouse Brawl because this show can’t remember the match order Funk made fifteen minutes ago. The mystery opponent is…..George Steele, age 61 and with five nationally televised matches since 1988. Steele brings weapons to the ring and swings away to keep Jeff from getting in. George stops to eat a turnbuckle but gets guitared in the head. Not that it matters as Arn Anderson comes in and plants Jeff with a spinebuster to give George the pin. As in a single spinebuster is enough to pin the United States Champion. Benoit served no purpose here.

After a break, Jarrett tells Nash to throw Hart off the team.

Here’s Stevie Ray to tell Gene to leave so he can do the interview himself. He talks about the history of the team and how Booker won the TV Title because that’s all WCW wanted him to have (huh?). Stevie wants to fight his brother one on one on Sunday because the show is already named after Booker. This brings out Booker and Midnight with Booker saying he’ll never fight his brother. That earns him a slap to the face and Booker agrees to the match.

Arn goes to another car. I’m assuming these are Jarrett’s opponents.

Jeff Jarrett vs. ???

It’s Tito Santana, a spry 46 here and just six and a half years from wrestling on a major national stage, in El Matador gear. This is a Dungeon Match, meaning it’s pin, submission or your opponent leaving the ring. Jeff beats up Orndorff on the way to the ring and mocks the Buffalo Bills.

Tito takes over to start with a nice dropkick and the flying forearm before going after the knee. Jeff kicks him away and Tito has to try three times to jump over the top rope to the apron. I love Santana but this is just pitiful. Benoit and Jarrett argue before Jeff nails Santana with the Stroke, only to stop to argue with one of the Bills. The distraction lets Orndorff hit the piledriver (great looking one too) to give Tito the pin.

Here’s Tank Abbott to call out Doug Dillinger. ARE YOU SERIOUS??? It’s bad enough that we have to put up with this goon who Russo loves for no apparent reason but now we get the big showdown with the head of security? Abbott tells Dillinger to take a shot, Doug does, Tank drops him and Jerry Flynn comes out for the save.

I’m sure you already know the story of what’s going to happen to the World Title situation in the next few days. Tank Abbott was Russo’s big idea to get the World Title, straight off a feud with Doug Dillinger and Jerry Flynn. Putting Rick Steiner over Ric Flair back in 1988 looks BRILLIANT now.

Jimmy Snuka arrives. To save some space in the match, 56 here and other than a one off appearance at Survivor Series 1996, last appeared with a major national promotion (ECW was still regional during his run) in 1991. The youngest opponent for Jarrett tonight is a 46 year old who hadn’t wrestled in the WWF or WCW since 1993. The Revolution, the Filthy Animals, Booker, and any other young and talented wrestler aren’t important enough for this story.

Benoit is out cold in the back.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Jimmy Snuka

In a cage. Jeff hammers away to start and sends Snuka into the cage a few times. Cue referee Benoit but Jarrett shoves him away from the cage door. That earns Jarrett some chops and a whip into the cage but Jeff sends him into the buckle. Jeff goes outside and gets the guitar but Zbyszko and Orndorff come in to clean house. Snuka and Benoit go up to the top of the cage for a Superfly Splash and swan dive, giving Jimmy the pin.

Rating: N/A. This was a segment disguised as a match and yeah the dives looked cool, but Jeff’s concussion wasn’t so great. This would knock him out of the US Title match on Sunday, but at least we got three WWF legends out there in their old territory so Russo could relive his childhood. Having the US Champion lose three times in one night to three guys who won’t be there next week while getting beaten up by a bunch of guys who can’t/won’t wrestle a match is just the price you pay for Russo’s entertainment.

WCW World Title: Kevin Nash vs. Bret Hart

Bret is defending, but first of all we have to cut to the back where Funk actually does wash Steiner’s mouth out with soap. How Zbyszko and Orndorff managed to restrain Steiner isn’t clear. I’m so glad we got to see this segment. It just made the entire show. Bret is in an NWO shirt, tennis shoes and jean shorts. And he’s known for five moves? Dang who knew Cena stole so much from Bret?

Nash goes after him to start and drives knees in the corner but Bret comes back with right hands. This is already one of the longest matches Nash has had in weeks. A lot of choking ensues until Bret gets in a kick to the leg. Snake Eyes stops him again for two but a low blow puts Nash down again. Bret misses the middle rope elbow and both guys are down. The side slam plants Bret and Nash bails to the floor for a chair. Cue Arn with a steel pipe and a referee shirt to nail Nash in the back, which I think means a no contest.

Rating: D+. And that’s it for Bret as his concussions were so severe that he wouldn’t wrestle another match for over ten years. In true Bret fashion though, he carried Nash to a watchable match and worked at the leg a bit before the non-finish. This actually wasn’t terrible and was by far the longest main event in a few weeks.

Post match here’s Sid (remember him?) as the cage is lowered. Bret is planted with a chokeslam and powerbomb so Arn can do a fast three count. Funk comes out with a flaming branding iron to burn Nash right on the singlet to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. This show comes down to how do you like your bad booking. You can have total insane booking that makes absolutely no sense and goes so far off the rails that you forget you’re watching a wrestling show, or you can have the booking that appeals to the over 50 audience without a good payoff and the US Champion getting pinned three times in an hour and a half.

This show didn’t make me want to see Souled Out, as the majority of this episode was to build up two stories for Sunday, one of which will comprise three matches. The fact that it’s going to be two out of three falls wasn’t mentioned, but why should a little detail like that get in the way of seeing the US Champion lose three falls in a night? This company is in a creative free fall at the moment, but they seem to think they’re going the right way and everyone else is crazy.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Required Viewing #12: I Want Violence

WarGames.

Because I have a taste for some blood. For those of you young people that haven’t gotten to see this, it’s the ultimate team violence match. There are two rings side by side and they’re both surrounded by cage, save for the space between the rings. There are two teams of five men (later four) each and one man will start from both teams. They fight for five minutes and then there’s a coin toss. The winning team (the heels literally always won) would get to send in a second man for a 2-1 advantage, lasting two minutes. After those two minutes are up, the team that lost the toss sends in its second man to tie it up for two minutes. You alternate until all ten men are in and then it’s first submission wins.

This match almost always had a ton of blood and are easily the most violent matches you would find this side of Hell in a Cell. WCW started these in 1987 and ran them through 1997 (screw that mess in 1998. That wasn’t WarGames). We’re going to be looking at the two best, though almost all of them are worth checking out.

First up is the inaugural edition, held on July 4, 1987 on the Great American Bash tour.  This is the mother of all wars as we have Dusty Rhodes/Magnum TA/Road Warriors/Paul Ellering vs. the Four Horsemen/JJ Dillon.  I really don’t think this needs a huge explanation.

 

Dusty Rhodes/Road Warriors/Nikita Koloff/Paul Ellering vs. Four Horsemen/JJ Dillon

The Horsemen in this case are Flair, Anderson, Blanchard, Luger and JJ Dillon. Flair’s music is epic as they crank the music WAY up. This is the Atlanta main event and it’s the debut of WarGames. For those of you uninitiated, WarGames is the mother of all gimmick matches. You have two teams of five and each team sends in a member. Those two fight for five minutes and there’s a coin toss.

The winning team gets to send in the third man to have a 2-1 advantage. That lasts two minutes and then the team that lost the toss gets to send in its second man to tie it at 2-2. That lasts two minutes then the team that won the toss sends in its third man. You alternate like that every two minutes until it’s 5-5 and then it’s first submission. No pins allowed.

Arn and Dusty start us off and remember this can’t end until all ten are in. There are two rings side by side with one huge cage over them if I didn’t mention that. They feel each other out a lot as they’re not entirely sure what to do here. Dusty walks on the second rope and then swings across the top of the cage to kick him in the ribs. Now they’re going and Dusty pounds away including a low blow which is perfectly legal.

There’s a DDT by Dusty and the crowd is red hot. Arn is cut open about two and a half minutes in so Dusty rakes it across the cage wall. Everyone hates everyone on the other team so this is a huge blood feud all around. Dusty sends him into the cage and has dominated the entire time. After a quick comeback by Arn Dusty gets his bad Figure Four on and then lets go of it because….well just because I guess.

The Horsemen win the toss (the faces literally never won the thing) and it’s Tully in next. The Horsemen beat him down but Dusty is booking so he knocks them both down with elbows. And scratch that as Tully gets in a knee shot and the double teaming begins. Tully puts on a Figure Four as they work over the knee. The clock seems to skip ahead a bit (no sign of clipping though) and Animal comes in to tie it up.

He starts launching Horsemen everywhere and sets Tully up for a slingshot which he rams three straight times. Shoulder block takes Tully down and Dusty destroys Anderson. I think Blanchard is busted and he gets double teamed a bit. Anderson looks dead. Animal is like screw that and rams him into the cage a few times. Flair is in to make it 3-2 and chops at Animal which doesn’t work. The number catch up with him as Anderson is back up quickly.

Sorry for a lot of play by play here but it’s the only thing you can do in matches like this one. Animal is busted. Dusty tries to fight back but he’s almost on his own. The fans are so loud that you can’t hear Tony and Jim. Dusty is bleeding and here comes Nikita. Flair grabs him as he comes in but the power of RUSSIA breaks up the Horsemen. The double ring thing here is very nice as they have room to move around. Animal sends Flair into the cage and he’s bleeding now. Dusty is gushing blood.

Nikita and Dusty work on the knee of Anderson but Nikita goes to get Tully stuck between the two rings and hits him between the ropes in a slingshot thing. Flair begs off Nikita and that doesn’t end well for the champ. A double dropkick puts Anderson down and here’s Lex. This is literally non-stop. Powerslam plants Koloff and Lex is dominating. There’s a spike piledriver to Nikita and then a second one just to kill him deader than dead. The Horsemen are in control but they’re starting to fall from exhaustion and blood loss.

Here’s Hawk and the fans erupt all over again. He destroys everything in sight and if you’re not bleeding already you will be now. Nikita’s neck is messed up and he can barely stand. JR is in Heaven with this much carnage. Flair gets a Figure Four on Dusty but it doesn’t count yet. The Horsemen only have JJ Dillon left and he’s a manger. He goes after Hawk and that’s just dumb.

Flair saves JJ’s life and they’re getting tired. Flair is bleeding a ton as if you expected anything else. JJ is taking a beating but Animal is getting triple teamed. Here’s Ellering to get us all tied up and now the match can end. Ellering has an LOD spiked pad on his arm. Dillon is bleeding BAD so Ellering JAMS THE SPIKE INTO HIS EYE. The LOD circles in on Dillon as the rest of the team runs interference. The Warriors spear his head into the cage and load up the Doomsday Device. JJ lands on his shoulder, legitimately hurting it. With Animal running interference, Hawk beats him half to death until he gives up to finally end this.

Rating: A+. This runs 26 minutes and there is literally no stopping in the whole thing. There isn’t some period where they chill because they’ve done enough. This is about brutality and violence and it works very well. There’s a ton of blood and JJ looks like he fell out of a building (for some reason in wrestling attire) at the end of it. It’s well worth seeing and still works today. Great match.

 

Next up might be the greatest WCW match of all time.  This is the blowoff to the awesome Dangerous Alliance story as Sting and his buddies are finally getting to go against the Alliance in one huge, bloody match with an all-star lineup.  From WrestleWar 1992.

 

War Games: Sting’s Squadron vs. Dangerous Alliance

Sting, Ricky Steamboat, Dustin Rhodes, Barry Windham, Nikita Koloff
Rick Rude, Steve Austin, Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Eaton, Arn Anderson

Sweet goodness there is some talent in this match.

Ok so there isn’t much of a backstory here. Back in 1992 the storyline pretty much went like this: Sting fights everybody. He feuded with about 5 people at once, most of which are in this match. At Halloween Havoc and the Clash of the Champions that came just after it, Rude showed up and stole the US Title from Sting, forming this team. Sting won the world title at SuperBrawl and the Alliance wanted it off of him, no matter who did it (it would be Vader eventually but we’ll get to that later).

Larry and Arn were a tag team and feuded with Barry and Dustin over the tag titles. Barry had also just gotten the TV Title off Austin. Ricky wanted to be US Champion, which was Rude at the moment. Anderson and Eaton had taken them from Rhodes and Windham before losing them to the Steiners two weeks before this. In short, everyone hates everyone and they don’t care who they’re fighting. Koloff is there….just because Sting needed a fifth guy more or less. He would go after Rude after this PPV.

For those of you new to War Games, the rules are pretty basic. You start with a man each and they fight for five minutes. After that five minutes we flip a coin and the winning team gets to send in their second man for a 2-1 advantage that lasts two minutes. After two minutes, the team that lost gets to even it up at 2-2 for two minutes. After that two minutes the team that won the toss sends in it’s third man for two minutes. You alternate like that until it’s 5-5, then first submission wins. No pinfalls at all. It’s a double cage over both rings and there is nothing separating the two rings, so both cages only have three walls in essence, but it’s really just one big cage.

This is the first time I’ve seen this match since I got into the IWC and since I started reviewing, so this is going to be a fresh look at it. Let’s get to it.

Everyone is at ringside for this, so I’d expect a fight out there too. There are tops on the cages too. Crowd is just insane for Sting. Good grief that face team is STACKED. In a Dangerous Alliance huddle, we hear that Austin is starting for his team. He starts against Windham and it is ON immediately. Heyman keeps running strategy and it’s cool because what he’s saying is actual strategy and makes sense.

Both guys are really stiff in there and are just pounding on each other. Austin DIVES over both ropes and hits a clothesline. For those of you that haven’t seen him before he hurt his neck and his knees became made of jelly, go find some of his stuff. He’s a totally different but still very good worker. Windham rubs Austin’s face into the cage to bust him open. There’s a minute left before the next guy comes in. Windham bites the cut to open it up more. If you can’t tell, this is a very violent match.

The Alliance wins the coin toss (check the coin) and they send their big man, Rick Rude, in to make it 2-1. Also, that’s three world champions (Rude won the Big Gold Belt which is kind of a world title) in there I believe? The heels take over and Windham is in trouble. Rude’s tights look like the Comi-Con logo. Steamboat ties it up and goes straight for Austin. Ticked off Steamboat is AWESOME. Dang  it’s nice to hear this without Tony Schiavone making bad war puns.

Windham is busted open. Steamboat and Windham are dominating here but Anderson, the best wrestler to never win a world title (arguably) comes in and cleans house. Rude and Anderson both hook a crab on Steamboat. This has been non-stop the whole time which is a major perk of it. For some reason they’re all staying in the same ring. Well with five guys it’s ok. And there goes Steamboat and Rude so scratch that theory.

Dustin Rhodes comes in to balance it out. If my math is right, he’s the least successful guy in here? That’s saying a lot. Steamboat gets Rude in a figure four, more or less making it 2-2. Zbyszko, another former world champion, is in to make it 4-3. He’s been in trouble lately for being a screw-up and Rhodes beats the tar out of him as soon as he comes in. Madusa goes up the cage and slips Arn the phone but she and Sting have a standoff on the roof.

There is blood EVERYWHERE. The mat looks like an abstract painting. Sting, who has bad ribs thanks to Vader, evens things up and press slams Rude up into the air so that his back slams into the cage five times. Sting is just whipping it here and we have two more guys left to come in. Arn gets the cage rake again and is bleeding too. Everyone is in one ring which is kind of cluttering but there they go. At least it didn’t last long.

Eaton comes in as the last man for the Dangerous Alliance. Rhodes is bleeding a ton. Windham looks quite dead. Larry is messing with the turnbuckle. Keep that in mind as it’ll come into play later. The ropes are clearly loose thanks to Larry and Rude doing whatever they were doing. Koloff comes in to FINALLY start the match beyond. No submissions could have counted until now.

Koloff is a wild card because a year or so earlier he had nailed Sting but claimed it had been meant for Luger so no one is sure if you can trust him. He pushes Sting out of the way to let Austin and Anderson hit him in a GREAT bit of continuity since Sting pushed Luger out of the way to start their whole issue. This is just pure insanity and never stopping at all.

Sting gets the Scorpion on Anderson but Eaton makes the save. They completely get the turnbuckle unhooked so there is no top rope and the buckle is just laying in the ring. Austin is bleeding like crazy. Rhodes’ tights are polka dot now from blood on them. Larry tells Bobby to hold up Sting so he can hit him with the steel bar that came off the buckle. Sting ducks and Eaton takes it to the arm. Steamboat takes Larry out and Sting throws on an armbar for the submission and to blow the roof off the place. Heyman LOSES IT and everyone gets mad at Larry as the show ends. This broke up the Dangerous Alliance because they lost this and it kind of wound up turning Larry face but more or less he just retired.

Rating: A+. This right here is the best gimmick match blowoff to a feud ever. This match was about VIOLENCE and it worked incredibly well. The ending was great, the violence was great, most people bled, there is not a single dead spot in the nearly 25 minutes that this match ran, the crowd was white hot, and the feud ended here. This was it and everyone knew it so they left everything they had in the ring. Perfection for what it was supposed to be.

 

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Wrestler of the Day – August 17: Bruno Sammartino

Today’s wrestler is the original WWF superstar: Bruno Sammartino.

Bruno started in 1959 and the earliest I can find for him is 1963 in what might be the WWWF in Buffalo. I’m assuming this is the whole match.

Bruno Sammartino vs. Hans Schmidt

Bruno easily wins a forearm battle to start and knocks Schmidt out to the floor. Back in and Schmidt chokes with the tag rope and pounds away in the corner. Bruno is stomped down and has his head rammed into the buckle. He fights back but gets his hair puled to put him right back down. Some big forearms put Hans back outside and the stalling begins. He comes back inside and they slug it out until the bell rings, presumably for a time limit draw.

Rating: C. This is a hard one to rate as we didn’t see most of the match (fairly obvious given how fast the match ended) but what I saw wasn’t all that great. The interesting thing here though is how aggressive both guys were. This could have passed for your modern power brawl if you didn’t know what era it was from, which says a lot when this is over fifty years old.

We’ll jump ahead to the end of Bruno’s WWWF Title reign for this match from July 25, 1970 in Philadelphia.

Bruno Sammartino vs. George Steele

Gorilla Monsoon, the host of the tape this is from, says this is from sometime in the 60s but isn’t sure exactly when. That would likely be because it’s from the 1970s but he’s close enough. Back then Steele was a top heel so this would have been a big time fight. The cage is weird looking as it’s more or less wire walls rather than a traditional cage. Steele has riot gear police officers bring him out. This is still escape rules. Naturally the commentary is from the 80s rather than back in the day as there likely wasn’t commentary done for this originally.

This is clipped to an extent. Bruno hammers him as this is probably the culmination of what was a major feud. Steele looks identical to what he would for the rest of his career. Steele actually gets a low blow before eating a turnbuckle. He rubs the stuffing into Bruno’s eyes which blinds him but George won’t just leave. Apparently Styrofoam stuffing is blinding. This is in Philadelphia according to Monsoon.

Bruno gets rocked by Steele for a good while as the camera and lighting is really different here but of course at the time no one knew what to do from a production standpoint as this was a very new idea back then. Bruno Hulks Up as Steele pounds away and then runs as Bruno can’t be hurt. Sammartino destroys him by ramming him into the cage a bunch and then climbs out.

Rating: C-. Nothing great here but seeing something from this far back in time is always cool. Steele didn’t change a bit in about twenty years and was still completely awesome the whole time. This was a pretty ok match but the clipping didn’t help. Bruno was completely awesome in cages and this worked ok but at six minutes shown, how into a cage match can you get?

Here’s a fairly famous match from MSG on January 18, 1971.

Bruno Sammartino vs. Ivan Koloff

The footage is very old and of low quality so the details might be sketchy here. Also the match itself ran about fifteen minutes but only eight minutes of footage exists. Koloff grabs a quick headlock to start but is backdropped down as the champion escapes. A slam and an armbar put Koloff down but he grabs a headscissors to escape a cover. Bruno gets monkey flipped down but takes over with an armbar.

We’re clipped to later in the match and another armbar by Bruno. Either that or the referee has developed the powers of teleportation. We’re clipped again only seconds later to Koloff holding Bruno in a bow and arrow hold. For the third time in about 30 seconds we’re clipped to Bruno trying to escape the hold but Ivan holds him in place. Again we’re clipped to Ivan cranking on the hold even more. Bruno finally escapes the hold and turns it into one of his own but Ivan makes the rope.

They circle each other a bit and we’re clipped to them circling each other again. Bruno grabs a headlock but gets shoved off and shoulder blocked down. Koloff grabs another headlock and we’re clipped to Bruno being shoulder blocked down again. Bruno hooks a drop toehold into a leg lock but we’re clipped to further in the same hold. The champion stomps on the leg but we’re clipped to Koloff choking away. We’re immediately clipped again to Koloff stomping on Bruno before sending him hard into the corner.

Ivan keeps punching and kicking away and we’re clipped to him doing more of the same. This is one of the most clipped matches I’ve ever seen but for footage over 42 years old, there’s not going to be a much better option available. Koloff pounds away even more and we’re clipped to Bruno making his comeback with right hands to the ribs and a kick to the same place. A slam by Sammartino gets two and we’re clipped to him holding Ivan in a chinlock. We’re clipped again to a cover by the champion but Koloff is too close to the ropes.

We’re clipped again to Bruno hammering away and getting two off a punch to the ribs. Another clip takes us to Ivan in a chinlock again and another clip takes us to later in the same hold. The hold gets two and we’re clipped to Ivan sweeping Bruno’s leg out. We’re clipped yet again to Ivan doing the same thing before we’re clipped to Ivan kicking Bruno in the chest.

A fourth clip in fifteen seconds sees the referee accidentally being knocked down by Koloff in the corner but he’s right back up. Ivan slams Bruno down in the corner and goes up top, dropping a knee in the stomach of the champion. He covers Bruno and history is made as we have a new world’s champion for the first time since 1963.

Rating: C. The rating is based on what we were able to see. While it’s certainly not as intricate or flashy as the matches we regularly see today, there was definitely an energy to the match and nothing looked terribly bad. The problem here of course is the ridiculous amount of clipping, but from what I understand we saw about half of the match here, which is more than I’ve ever seen before.

We’ll jump ahead again to a tag match from some point in 1973.

Bruno Sammartino/Dick the Bruiser vs. Baron Von Raschke/Ernie Ladd

Baron and Bruiser get things going here with Von Raschke hiding from Dick’s right hand. Some shoulders put Baron down and a middle rope stomp is good for two. Ladd makes the save and Bobby Heenan is losing it. Bruiser hooks a chinlock and we’re clipped to Bruno coming in to face Ladd.

Bruno sends the much bigger Ladd into the buckle and knocks him over the top with a single right hand. He puts the boots to Ladd but gets shoved down by the Baron. Bruiser grabs Von Raschke by the face and sends him to the floor before doing the same to Ladd. Back in and Heenan breaks up a cover before Bruiser backdrops Baron. A cover gets two but Von Raschke gets his foot on the ropes…..which the referee pulls off and counts the three for a pin.

Rating: C+. Again better than I expected here though I’m assuming the referee was a bit crooked. This was a very different era where you could win a match on a backdrop and no one would think anything of it. Again I really like the energy out there and it made for a more entertaining match than I was expecting.

Here’s another match from the WWWF in 1974 on TV from Philadelphia. Bruno is champion again but I think this is non-title.

Bruno Sammartino vs. Mr. Fuji

Some armdrags put Fuji down to start and he looks shocked by Bruno’s speed. Fuji goes to the eyes like a true heel should, only to get whipped hard into the buckle to keep the champion in control. A slam puts Bruno down but he kicks away and grabs an armbar. The hold stays on long enough that we get a replay of the last few moments. Fuji comes back with another slam but misses a running splash.

We’re in the third armbar in five minutes and it’s time for another replay. Fuji comes back with a pectoral claw so Bruno just nails him in the jaw. It’s foreign object time and a rake to the eyes with whatever Fuji has is enough to take over. Bruno again comes right back with a knee to the ribs so Fuji goes to the eyes again. Vince: “There’s no telling what’s in the tights of Mr. Fuji.” Fuji goes up top but gets slammed down for two. A backdrop is enough to pin the evil Hawaiian.

Rating: D+. See what I mean about the times being different? If nothing else, the lesson we learn here is don’t get backdropped in the 1970s. The match was pretty dull with armbars that were long enough to air replays. To be fair though this was just a TV match so not a lot was going to happen.

Here’s the first ever cage match in MSG on December 15, 1975.

WWWF World Title: Bruno Sammartino vs. Ivan Koloff

This is inside a steel cage and is called the first ever cage match in Madison Square Garden. You can only win by going out of the cage. Koloff attacks to start the match but Bruno fires off right hands to send Koloff into the cage. Bruno sends him chest first into the buckle and fires off some knees to the face to keep control. Vince calls Koloff the favorite to win the match for some reason. Bruno pounds away even more and sends Ivan face first into the cage wall again.

Bruno stomps away on the back of the head before sending him into the cage again. All Bruno so far. Ivan comes back with a kick to the stomach to take over and now Sammartino tastes the steel. The champion comes back with more right hands and sends Ivan into the cage yet again. Bruno fights back with right hands and pulls Koloff back in as he tries to escape. The ring is especially loud in this match. Ivan goes face first into the cage three times in a row and make it four.

Koloff gets a boot up in the corner to put Sammartino down before dropping the top rope knee onto the champion’s ribs. Ivan is bleeding from the forehead. Bruno pounds away and hits a knee to the chest to keep Ivan in trouble. They seem to mess up a spot before colliding in the ring. A knee to the ribs staggers Ivan and Bruno sends him into the cage once more. Koloff is rammed into the cage again and again before being sent hard into the corner.

Ivan is now between the cage and the ring as Bruno turns up the aggression even more. He sends Koloff head first into whatever metal object he can find before choking with his boot. The champion rakes his boot over Koloff’s eyes and sends him into the cage yet again. There are two more shots into the cage before Bruno climbs out of the cage to retain his title.

Rating: D+. This was a rather short cage match and it was a glorified squash at the same time. Koloff was soundly defeated here which was the entire point of the match. Still though, it wasn’t incredibly exciting as the majority of the match was Bruno ramming Ivan into the cage over and over again. That being said, the fans loved Bruno and that’s the point of the game.

Another title defense from March 1, 1976.

WWWF World Title: Bruno Sammartino vs. Ernie Ladd

Ladd is a 6’9 former football player who was a powerhouse in his own right. The video is labeled as being from Madison Square Garden but it doesn’t look like that arena whatsoever. Ladd has a taped up thumb that the referee wants to take a closer look at. A quick armdrag by Bruno sets up an armbar but Ladd makes the rope. Bruno tries the same combination again and gets the same result. Ernie grabs a quick bearhug and Bruno is in some early trouble.

Ladd gets him down to the mat for a two count with the hold and puts his feet on the ropes for extra leverage. He gets caught too many times though and the referee finally breaks the hold. This time Ladd starts choking away but moves around fast enough to avoid the referee from seeing him. A big slap to the face puts Bruno down again. The champion comes back with a bunch of right hands including one that knocks Ladd out to the floor.

That goes nowhere so Bruno pulls him back in and whips Ladd into the corner. A backdrop puts Ernie down and there’s a boot to the head. Ladd is on the mat holding his head before getting back up and hitting the champ in the throat. A headscissor takeover gets two for Ladd but Bruno comes back with punches and knees to the ribs.

Sammartino rams Ladd into the buckle a few times but misses a charge into the corner. Ladd hits a football tackle to drop the champion and then does it again. A slam puts Bruno down and drives the taped thumb into Sammartino’s throat. Ernie goes up top for a splash but only hits canvas though, giving Bruno the pin to retain the title.

Rating: C-. While this was a somewhat more energetic match than some of the other ones that we’ve looked at, it’s still a pretty slow paced affair. Ladd was a huge power guy which doesn’t quite work against a smaller (5’10) powerhouse like Bruno. The match was decent enough though and it got a good reaction from the crowd, but it was still kind of dull to sit through. It’s a very different kind of wrestling that not all fans are going to like which is understandable.

Time for another pretty famous moment from Baltimore on April 30, 1977.

WWWF World Title: Bruno Sammartino vs. Billy Graham

The ring is especially wide here for some reason. They feel each other out a bit and Graham easily shoves Bruno around. Now Bruno shoves back and grabs an armbar for good measure. Graham makes the rope and heads to the floor for a bit before returning for a test of strength. Bruno goes down to his knees twice and even gets his shoulders counted a few times. The champ fights back and sends Graham to the floor to reset things a bit.

Back in and they fight over a top wristlock with Billy taking control again. Bruno fights back again and takes over with an armbar of his own. The challenger fights up and hits a knee to the ribs, sending Bruno down for some more stomping in the process. Graham goes to the throat to keep the advantage but misses a running knee in the corner. Bruno pounds away and Graham is busted open.

Billy comes back with a whip into the corner and it’s off to a bearhug on the champion. Bruno is in trouble all of a sudden but he fights up from his knees on the much taller Graham. Right hands to the head break the hold and there’s a hard whip into the corner by the champion. Now Sammartino hooks a bearhug of his own but Billy gets a rope. They fight in the corner with Bruno in full control. The referee tries to break it up though, allowing Graham to trip Bruno’s legs out from under him and roll Bruno up with his feet on the ropes for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. This wasn’t too bad but more importantly it showed what Graham could do in the ring. He was insanely powerful and had a flashy look as opposed to the bigger than average but still relatively normal look that dominated wrestling in the 70s. This was Bruno’s last match as champion and he went out in a pretty good way.

And a rematch on August 1, 1977.

WWF Title: Bruno Sammartino vs. Billy Graham

Gorilla is the guest referee for this one and good night is he huge. He shoves Graham around for trying to jump Bruno before the bell. He has no issue with Bruno doing the same though. Gorilla is also doing the voiceover thing here and says that more or less anything goes here. For the second time he says he’s 423lbs at this point. He won’t count Graham out because he says he’s not ending a title match with a count out.

Bruno was limited in his offense but at the same time that’s all you have to do. I think this is in Toronto but I’m not sure at all. Graham gets the feet and gets something from under the ring. Ah it’s a rope. Bruno chokes him with it and Gorilla isn’t as adamant about stopping that. According to Gorilla this is in MSG also but there’s no way given how this arena looks.

The idea here is that Bruno just wants the title back and Graham is trying to find a way to escape with it as his power isn’t working this time as Bruno might be stronger and is at least just as strong. Bruno works on the knee and hooks a half crab. We get a clip again as the hold is broken. That kind of sucks the drama out of matches and I’m not a fan of it at all.

Graham throws in a low blow and Gorilla seems to be ok with it. On the commentary he claims it might have been in the thigh. Yeah the hand being up around the trunks of Bruno really looks like a thigh shot Monsoon. Graham goes up top and misses a knee and Bruno is all fired up again. Ok never mind as he eats post. Billy goes out and gets the belt which Gorilla steals as well. Shame he didn’t do it before the belt hit Bruno’s cranium.

Bruno is BUSTED WIDE OPEN as I channel my inner Gorilla. Graham hits the floor to leave so Gorilla throws him back in the ring. Well you can’t say he’s not active. He says if you look hard enough in the rule book it’s in there. Graham might be busted too and now he can’t get back in the ring.

Gorilla won’t count which is kind of funny. Bruno is ALL FIRED UP and there’s the bearhug again. And there’s a shot to Gorilla but still no DQ. Now that Gorilla’s shirt is just covered in blood he has no real choice but to stop it. It’s kind of hard to question that and he points out that he didn’t have much of a choice.

Rating: B-. Another brutal fight here with all kinds of blood out there. Feuds back then were based more on what happened in the ring rather than what happened on the mic so it’s a very different kind of style. This was a pretty fun match though as Bruno just beat the living tar out of him and Graham kept trying to cheat no matter what he could do. I liked it though.

Time for one of the biggest feuds ever at the time. Starting on January 22, 1980.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Bruno Sammartino

Now THIS is some legendary stuff. This is the original match where it’s more of an exhibition than a match. Basically Bruno is the teacher who taught Larry everything he knows but Larry wants to prove he can hang with Bruno. This is from January of 1980. This is going to be all feeling out/nice guy stuff until the very end. Sammartino takes him to the mat with a drop toehold and has dominated the entire match so far.

Bruno keeps putting holds on Larry and then lets them go which is an odd choice of offense. Larry grabs an abdominal stretch but Bruno powers out of it. Half crab goes on Bruno but Larry lets it go. Sammartino grabs about his fifth hold and lets go of it too. They try a crisscross and Larry gets tossed over in a hiptoss. He’s getting very ticked off here.

Apparently Bruno said he’d only wrestle defensively in this match. Larry heads to the floor to cool his head and Bruno looks the other way for some reason. Larry comes back in and in the biggest heel turn ever at this point, DESTROYS Bruno with a wooden chair. There is blood all over the place. This was shocking and came out of absolutely nowhere. It also set up the hottest feud of the year which we’ll get to the blowoff of in a second.

Rating: C-. The match itself means nothing as the heel turn is the whole thing. This was one of the biggest angles ever and is still a huge turn that works to this day. They would feud over the summer and would blow it off in front of about 40,000 people in the infield of Shea Stadium. We need to get to that now.

Now the blowoff from Showdown at Shea. For this match, bare in mind that it’s from the WWE 24/7 version. Michael Cole and Mick Foley did not do commentary for a match in 1980.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Bruno Sammartino

Wrestling 101 here: Bruno was the mentor, Larry decided he had surpassed the teacher, teacher kept being the star, student attacks the teacher, they go to a baseball stadium and have a wrestling match in front of 36,000 people in a box with no lid on it. Tale as old as time. Old school cage here, as in the kind they have now. NUCLEAR heat on Larry. Bruno gets the only entrance of the night.

We even get clips of Zbyszko’s heel turn which is WAY rare. Bruno jumps him to start and Larry hits the cage 3 times in about 5 seconds. You can only go through the door here and not over the top for no apparent reason. Apparently Larry talks about this match to the point of annoyance. Low blow gives Larry a chance to breathe as this has been very intense so far.

Foley makes another interesting point: Bruno headlined all three Shea shows and only once was world champion at the time. That’s saying a lot. This is the first match with an angle and the crowd clearly knows it. We get into a discussion about whether Bruno would be successful today and the commentators say yes because he was the people’s man. You know, like that blue collar guy that represented the hard working everyman who didn’t like his boss. Someone you could have a beer with. Or maybe a case of them if you get what I’m talking about. Yeah I think Bruno would have worked today.

Almost all Bruno so far. Now we talk about Stan Hansen inspiring Foley to sleep with his wife. Ok then. We hear about Larry and Foley driving together and Cole says how would they get a word in edgewise? Foley says he only talks over Cole because he’s smarter than Michael is. Nice line! Bruno’s arm is bleeding so Larry punches away at it. After nearly ten minutes Larry makes the first attempt at the door, naturally not getting there.

We get into a semi-argument over whether or not Foley ever worked out. Foley seems genuinely ticked off about that and I can’t say I blame him. Bruno wakes up and beats the heck out of Larry, kicking him in the head one more time and walking out to win it definitively. Bruno beats on him some more after the match ends

Rating: C+. Solid match for what it was supposed to be which was a big time brawl. The fans loved it and Bruno decisively won. What more can you ask from them? This was a blowoff to a feud and that’s what they did. There’s nowhere for this feud to go from here and it ended. That’s what gimmick matches are for. LEARN THIS RUSSO!

We’ll jump ahead to Bruno returning to the WWF after a few years away. Here’s a grudge match inside a cage on February 8, 1986.

Adrian Adonis/Randy Savage vs. Tito Santana/Bruno Sammartino

Wild brawl to start with Adonis vs. Santana and Bruno vs. Savage. Savage is the IC Champion at this point. You only win with both guys getting to the floor. They’re MOVING out there. Apparently the door is only going to be opened upon request. So it’s like a shave around the ears? Bruno, an old veteran of cage matches, stops Savage from trying to escape.

Even Adonis is running so you can tell they’re serious here. Bruno is beating the tar out of Savage here. I love the way he throws boots. This was actually a hot feud as Bruno came out of retirement to feud with Savage which in reality was a way to get his son some spots on TV. Tito makes a nice save to keep Savage in the door and Bruno crotches Adrian just because it’s fun. Gorilla says his wish just came true. I don’t want to know what that means. Tito is busted and it’s not bad.

It’s kind of odd to see someone use a kick as their main offense when you’re so used to seeing punches being the main thing. Savage goes for a double axe from the top but runs into the fist of Santana and the heels are in trouble. Savage is bleeding BAD. He manages to stop Santana though.

Adonis goes up and dives off the top, hitting Sammartino with a knee drop. Unfortunately that’s because he botched it for the most part and kind of fell off the top of the cage onto Bruno. Savage gets a leg over the top but runs into the taco salesman from Tijuana. The heels are slammed together allowing Bruno to get out the door and Santana over the top to end this.

Rating: A-. Sweet goodness this was a war. They beat the living crap out of each other and none of the four ever stopped at all. Bruno could bring on the violence when he wanted to and apparently he wanted to do so here. This was a very good match with all four guys working very hard and never stopping once in about ten minutes. I liked it.

Another cage match on July 12, 1986.

Bruno Sammartino vs. Roddy Piper

Not a title match here as this is from the mid 80s. We’re in Boston here. Gorilla and Jesse talk about the experience you get in cage matches. Jesse wonders what you can actually learn in there which makes sense. Piper wears a Bears shirt which is around the time that the Bears beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl. He also hangs posters in the cage which is a nice touch.

Bruno comes out and goes straight for Piper, sending him into the cage. Piper is bleeding maybe a minute in. Bruno shoves the poster in Piper’s face as this is a big beatdown. This was another big feud as Piper had totally not respected Sammartino as most young heels didn’t so Vince set this up before cutting almost all ties with Bruno. Granted that was mutual so that’s not a fair criticism.

Piper gets a low blow to save the match and barely has his shirt off yet. Sammartino has to make a big save to keep Piper out as he might be busted open too. Piper seems more like he’s just trying to escape while Bruno wants punishment. And there go Roddy’s trunks. Ok then. Bruno kicks away and they slug it out. Jesse has kind of stopped talking here.

Roddy goes up and Bruno pounds on his supple Scottish balls. That’s not quite enough for Bruno to get out but Bruno grabs a wooden chair as he’s trying to leave and blasts Piper in the head with it to win. Jesse says that was cheating but it’s a cage match so whatever I suppose.

Rating: B-. Not bad here and a bit longer than the previous one. Bruno was fun to watch and the fans always reacted to him. This was a veteran giving the young loudmouth a beating and that’s something that is always going to work. Nothing great but a fun match either way.

We’ll wrap it up with a match in Boston on January 7, 1987.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. Bruno Sammartino

Savage hides behind Liz to start and Gorilla is freaking out on commentary. Bruno finally gets in a shot and sends Savage into the corner to put the champion in early trouble. Some right hands put Savage down and he hides behind Liz again. Bruno of course won’t swing with a woman in front of him so Randy gets in another cheap shot to take over.

A top rope ax handle drops Bruno on the floor and another drops him in the ring. Bruno comes back with his standard kicks to the ribs and Savage is in trouble. Another kick to the ribs drops Savage but Bruno ducks his head and takes a kick to his own face. A collision sends Savage to the floor and he brings in a chair for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was just a brawl for the most part but the live crowd would have liked it a lot more than someone watching nearly thirty years later. Bruno was just a nostalgia act at this point but he certainly didn’t embarrass himself. It was entertaining enough though and that’s all this was supposed to be.

I don’t know what you want me to say. The guy sold out MSG something like 200 times. I think that speaks for itself.

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Wrestler of the Day – May 11: Larry Zbyszko

I’ll cut the stalling and get right to it. Today is Larry Zbyszko.

Zbyszko got his start in 1973 and would be in the WWF pretty early on in his career. We’ll start in MSG, December 19, 1977.

Larry Zbyszko/Tony Garea vs. Jack Evans/Larry Sharpe

This is two years before Zbyszko would have his big feud with Sammartino so he’s not much yet. There’s a curfew from the New York Athletic Commission stating a show can’t go on past a certain time so this has 15 minutes max despite being listed as a one hour time limit. That’s no joke actually and they really have to stop the match after a certain time of night. Larry Sharpe is one of the three or four most prolific trainers ever, having trained about fifteen guys that I’ve heard of, the most famous being Raven, Sheamus and Big Show among a ton of other midcard guys.

Evans and Garea start us off and the crowd is just spent. Much like them I just don’t care either. Ending with a tag match like this is kind of a weird idea but I guess they didn’t want to risk anything important being cut off. Garea gets beaten on forever as like five minutes have passed since the last thing I typed. There’s just nothing worth mentioning at this point as even Vince has said this isn’t going to crack 15 minutes due to the curfew.

Zbyszko finally gets the tag and comes in to get a backdrop for the pin and the first fall. Larry beats up Jack as we’re desperately running out of time. The next show, which apparently isn’t the one Backlund wins the title on, won’t air on TV. Such a shame. Actually looking at the card, no it isn’t. The only interesting thing is an elimination 8 man tag match which we would call a Survivor Series match.

This is just going on and on as you know the time is about to run out. Everyone goes in at once. The heels are apparently called the Blonde Bombers, which about 93 teams have used over the years. Garea beats up Evans and the bell goes off for the curfew. Larry and Tony win by being up one fall, making this a kind of Ironman match. The curfew is 11. Seriously that’s just weird to hear.

Rating: D+. Nothing too bad here but they weren’t getting anywhere fast at all. This was one of those things that they throw on at the end to fill out the card, kind of like the final matches on a SNME or something. It wasn’t interesting or anything but it wasn’t horrible I guess.

From January 21, 1980, against someone you may have heard of.

The Great Hossein Arab vs. Larry Zbyszko

This is called the third bout and it’s right after the previous one on my list. Arab is much more famous as The Iron Sheik. Sheik tries to take it to the mat but Larry escapes to a stalemate. Larry speeds things up and sends Sheik to the floor where he gets very ticked off. Back in an elbow misses and Sheik is even madder. I sense a humbling. Larry hooks a headlock and pounds away with right hands. The fans are way into this.

Back to the headlock and things speed way up with a crisscross. Sheik hits a pair of leapfrogs but gets caught in the headlock again. Sheik has finally had enough and blasts Larry in the face, but a knee drop misses and it’s back to Zbyszko. There’s an abdominal stretch but Sheik reverses into one of his own but that gets reversed as well. Sheik sends him into the corner and backdrops him for two.

We finally get to the heel control portion of this but it ends just as quickly in a Zbyzsko sunset flip. They collide and both of them go down. Sheik gets up first with a suplex but he can’t cover immediately so it only gets two. Another suplex is countered into a small package which gets two for Larry, as does a slam. Sheik loads up one of the boots but Larry trips him down and goes after it. That somehow gets two but Sheik kicks him onto the ref. That’s not enough for him so he drops an elbow on the referee for the DQ.

Rating: C-. It’s amazing what charisma can do for you. This was only a little bit better of a match than the previous one, but the charisma the two guys have made me want to see them fight which is what made things work better here. Sheik getting more and more disgruntled until he snapped worked a lot better for a story than “I’ll hit you a lot.” Larry would turn heel on Sammartino the very next day.

From literally the next day, the start of the biggest story of Zbyszko’s career.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Bruno Sammartino

Now THIS is some legendary stuff. This is the original match where it’s more of an exhibition than a match. Basically Bruno is the teacher who taught Larry everything he knows but Larry wants to prove he can hang with Bruno. This is from January of 1980. This is going to be all feeling out/nice guy stuff until the very end. Sammartino takes him to the mat with a drop toehold and has dominated the entire match so far.

Bruno keeps putting holds on Larry and then lets them go which is an odd choice of offense. Larry grabs an abdominal stretch but Bruno powers out of it. Half crab goes on Bruno but Larry lets it go. Sammartino grabs about his fifth hold and lets go of it too. They try a crisscross and Larry gets tossed over in a hiptoss. He’s getting very ticked off here.

Apparently Bruno said he’d only wrestle defensively in this match. Larry heads to the floor to cool his head and Bruno looks the other way for some reason. Larry comes back in and in the biggest heel turn ever at this point, DESTROYS Bruno with a wooden chair. There is blood all over the place. This was shocking and came out of absolutely nowhere. It also set up the hottest feud of the year which we’ll get to the blowoff of in a second.

Rating: C-. The match itself means nothing as the heel turn is the whole thing. This was one of the biggest angles ever and is still a huge turn that works to this day. They would feud over the summer and would blow it off in front of about 40,000 people in the infield of Shea Stadium. We need to get to that now.

And then the rematch.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Bruno Sammartino

Wrestling 101 here: Bruno was the mentor, Larry decided he had surpassed the teacher, teacher kept being the star, student attacks the teacher, they go to a baseball stadium and have a wrestling match in front of 36,000 people in a box with no lid on it. Tale as old as time. Old school cage here, as in the kind they have now. NUCLEAR heat on Larry. Bruno gets the only entrance of the night.

We even get clips of Zbyszko’s heel turn which is WAY rare. Bruno jumps him to start and Larry hits the cage 3 times in about 5 seconds. You can only go through the door here and not over the top for no apparent reason. Apparently Larry talks about this match to the point of annoyance. Low blow gives Larry a chance to breathe as this has been very intense so far.

Foley makes another interesting point: Bruno headlined all three Shea shows and only once was world champion at the time. That’s saying a lot. This is the first match with an angle and the crowd clearly knows it. We get into a discussion about whether Bruno would be successful today and the commentators say yes because he was the people’s man. You know, like that blue collar guy that represented the hard working everyman who didn’t like his boss. Someone you could have a beer with. Or maybe a case of them if you get what I’m talking about. Yeah I think Bruno would have worked today.

Almost all Bruno so far. Now we talk about Stan Hansen inspiring Foley to sleep with his wife. Ok then. We hear about Larry and Foley driving together and Cole says how would they get a word in edgewise? Foley says he only talks over Cole because he’s smarter than Michael is. Nice line! Bruno’s arm is bleeding so Larry punches away at it. After nearly ten minutes Larry makes the first attempt at the door, naturally not getting there.

We get into a semi-argument over whether or not Foley ever worked out. Foley seems genuinely ticked off about that and I can’t say I blame him. Bruno wakes up and beats the heck out of Larry, kicking him in the head one more time and walking out to win it definitively. Bruno beats on him some more after the match ends

Rating: C+. Solid match for what it was supposed to be which was a big time brawl. The fans loved it and Bruno decisively won. What more can you ask from them? This was a blowoff to a feud and that’s what they did. There’s nowhere for this feud to go from here and it ended. That’s what gimmick matches are for. LEARN THIS RUSSO!

After some time in the territories, Zbyszko would head off to the AWA, with one of his first major matches being against Dusty Rhodes in St. Paul, Minnesota on June 10, 1984.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Dusty Rhodes

Zbyszko immediately stalls on the apron before getting caught in an early armbar. Back to the apron for a bit until Larry gets hammered by right hands. Larry rakes at the eyes but Dusty comes back with elbows to the head followed by some strutting. They hit the ropes and a quick (for Dusty) elbow to the head sets up the big elbow drop for the pin.

Rating: D-. Yes his finishing move really was an elbow drop at this point. The match was nothing to see but Rhodes was one of the biggest stars in the world at this point so the fans were WAY into this. Larry would become a much bigger deal in the AWA soon enough, but he would never be at Dusty’s level.

Speaking of people who were big stars, here’s a tag match from StarCage 1985.

Brad Rheingans/Bob Backlund vs. Larry Zbyszko/Butch Reed

Once Backlund left the WWF he didn’t really do much but this was probably the high point of his non-WWF stuff. Rheingans vs. Reed to start which is a pure power match. The idea here is that Brad and Backlund both coached the US Olympic team which I’ve never heard of but maybe it’s true. Anyway Brad gets caught in a headlock but he hits a dropkick to take Butch down. Off to Backlund and it’s time for the arm work.

Forget Backlund because Brad is in before he can do much at all. Larry comes in and Brad puts on a HARD headlock before bringing in Backlund for a bit softer headlock. Brad comes in again and we get some good old fashioned cheating to take him down. Butch and Larry hit a double slam for two followed by a big boot to take Rheingans down, but for some reason he’s able to easily tag out.

Backlund comes in and naturally works on the arm some more. More heel cheating (do I need to bother to explain which team is the heel version?) gets Backlund in trouble and it’s chinlock time. Larry comes in and slams Backlund for two before more double teaming follows. A small package gets two for Backlund but it’s back to Reed with a double ax to the back. There’s a bearhug as Reed slows things down again.

Off to another chinlock by Reed and Backlund is in trouble again. Back to Larry for more stomping to Backlund and there’s the abdominal stretch that Zbyszko loves to use. We can’t have a tag yet though because we need the sequel to the bearhug: the LIFTING bearhug! Just like earlier, a headbutt gets Backlund out of the hold and they collide off the ropes.

Bob makes the tag and even though the referee doesn’t see it, he lets it go anyway. I guess he’s as bored as I am. After a quick cleaning of house, Backlund is brought back in to pound away on Larry, who apparently has a title Backlund wants. That helps a bit I guess. In a very abrupt ending, Larry sets up a piledriver but Backlund backdrops him and stays on top for the pin.

Rating: D+. As I said, this match just kept going. It’s pretty clear that they’re extending the matches longer than they should go due to the amount of time they have and a total of seven matches on the card. The problem with this show is that the stories for these matches are almost tacked on, making the matches hard to get into. They’re not bad though.

And from the infamous WrestleRock 1986.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Scott LeDoux

LeDoux was a legit boxer before becoming a referee and wrestler in the AWA. This is under “European” rules, which means they wear gloves and we have ten two minute rounds. Larry Hennig, Curt’s papa, is the referee for no apparent reason. It’s really closer to boxing than wrestling but it’s the AWA so I doubt they knew what it was supposed to be. They tease hitting each other for a bit until LeDoux grabs a full nelson. Larry escapes and Scott (what is with that name being so popular in this company?) unloads on him with punches, sending Larry to the floor.

This is actually closer to MMA (kind of almost sort of) than boxing or wrestling but whatever. Larry chills with his ninja (don’t ask) for a bit as we’re probably about halfway through the first round. LeDoux gets into a boxing stance so Larry bails to the apron. I’m shocked too. Larry picks the leg and goes to the mat which is smart. Round 1 ends with Larry in control.
Off to round 2 and Larry gets on one knee. He gets up and hits a spinning kick to the ribs.

Larry climbs on his back which doesn’t work at all as LeDoux pounds on the ribs with elbows. Armdrag by Larry into an armbar but LeDoux punches him in the face. Larry pounds him in the corner and slams him for no cover. Zbyszko pounds on him to end the round.
Round 3 begins with Scott’s eye swelling shut. Larry takes him to the mat and hooks a front chancery. For the first time we’re told you win by pin or knockout. Decisions are still a gray area. Larry POUNDS HIM with punches and a kick to the ribs. Back to the mat and Larry is totally dominating him.

Round 4 starts with Larry missing a kick and LeDoux gets in a flurry to take over. For no apparent reason he grabs Larry and rams him into the corner. There’s a slam and Larry is reeling. The fans aren’t that thrilled but you can’t please everyone. They’re both getting gassed here but LeDoux clocks Larry to end the round but the bell saves him.
Larry starts round 5 bleeding and gets knocked to the floor….where he rams LeDoux into the post for the DQ 5 seconds into the round.

Rating: C-. I liked it but it wasn’t great. As usual with this show, I have no idea why they were fighting because the announcers are too busy telling us that the AWA is a national company to give us a simple story. The match was entertaining though which is really all you can ask for in something like this. Good stuff and thankfully they kept it fast paced. If this was just boxing, it would have been a disaster.

Larry would head back to the NWA for awhile where he would challenge for the Western States Heritage Title (it’s as worthless as it sounds) and defend it at Bunkhouse Stampede.

Western States Heritage Title: Larry Zbyszko vs. Barry Windham

Barry is defending.  This belt lasted for about a year and a half. The name is from the fact that it started in the UWF out of Tulsa. What you’re looking at here are the only two men to ever have the title. Keep in mind that the WESTERN STATES Title is being defended in New York. Larry is just as annoying looking as he used to be. Again, no reason for this to be on the card or anything. It’s just there.

Barry is champion here and Larry has Baby Doll, the original Diva for lack of a better term with him. She looked ok but good for the late 80s. Since it’s a Larry match, the required stall gets about two minutes. Since this is a PPV though, that’s just your initial stall. I’d bet on more coming. A headlock hits after about four minutes. The crowd is rather irritated after the last debacle of a match.

I was right: Larry is stalling. Apparently there’s a history here. Don’t worry about telling us what it is or anything. Windham has a bad knee. Why you ask? Eh not told that either. Why would you need to know anything unimportant like that? Larry tries a dropkick. WOW. Even Ross makes fun of it. Oh no. LARRY USES A HAMMERLOCK! AHHHHHH!!!

Windham gets a freaky looking rollup as Zbyszko is sitting on the mat and Windham wraps his legs around him from behind. He rolls over and gets a rollup for two. Cool looking move. Windham calls the referee a bastard when he’s asked if he gives up in a leg lock. Larry uses what we would call an ankle lock. Wow that’s weird to see in the 80s.

Windham goes up and misses an elbow off the top that looked awful. It looked like he just jumped and hoped it would have hit. Larry works on the knee, which at least is consistency, although he switches things up rather than just using the same hold. ARE YOU LISTENING BOBBY EATON? Again, WHY DO THESE TWO HATE EACH OTHER? It’s never been explained. Also, when did Larry learn karate?

In an impressive move, Larry has a headlock on and Barry hits a belly to back for the counter with one arm. Very impressive looking. He then calls Baby Doll a bad word. Barry goes for a suplex but his knee gives out and Larry crashes to the mat. Isn’t that the same thing as a regular suplex? We go to the floor (called the streets for no apparent reason by JR) as this is FAR better than the previous match. It still sucks, but it’s better I guess.

We’re fifteen minutes in according to Tony. See what happens when you do more than just hammerlocks? We’re getting covers and various other shots like that but it’s still Zbyszko and Windham. In other words, it’s pretty boring. And on that note both guys fall down. Great. Just great.

Barry does six punches in the corner. Six? What the heck ? Down goes the referee. That’s just what this match needed. Baby Doll’s shoe goes into Windham’s head for the pin. That’s the only title change in the belt’s history as it would be dropped in like a year with no one caring.

Rating: D-. This was boring, but to be fair this was light years ahead of the previous match. At the end of the day, Larry Zbyszko singles matches can only be so good. This wasn’t horrible, but NO ONE cared at all. At least we’re half done with the card. It was a different time where titles would just be thrown around for no real reason. Scratch the different part.

It was back to the AWA where Larry would win the World Title in the final days of the promotion. Here’s a six man tag from some point in 1990.

Doug Somers/Colonel DeBeers/Larry Zbyszko vs. Curt Hennig/Greg Gagne/Jimmy Snuka

Larry has blonde hair here and it looks weird to say the least. This is back in Vegas for no apparent reason and is billed as the main event. Gange is the son of the owner and completely and utterly crap. He was given a title made for him and he was literally one of only two people to hold it until the company folded. The heels have Sherri Martel with them here and she’s listed as Women’s Champion so this is after June 28.

DeBeers says something stunning as he says he won’t wrestle Snuka as he’s not 100% white. He’s apparently replacing some rookie named Scott Hall. I love seeing random names like that pop up. And before any moron says something, yes I know Hall wrestled for a long time in the AWA. Larry Hennig, Curt’s dad, is on commentary with the other two. Larry (Zbyszko is the only one I’ll refer to for the rest of this match) stalls like he always does and the announcers make fun of him for it. Yeah it’s the same show as earlier as the same seats are still empty.

Larry has mad heat on him and the crowd tells him that he sucks. The Colonel comes in and refuses to fight Snuka. He’s from South Africa where apartheid was still going on. He actually has curled mustache and twirls it. I like this guy. The twirler is beating on Snuka while he’s tied up as we return from a commercial. He’s doing the traditional cowardly heel thing as he’ll only fight when it’s easy.

Hennig is the top face in the company only after Bockwinkle and would soon win the title from him, holding it for about a year. This is more or less completely lacking any kind of flow as it’s a mess if I’ve ever seen one. Gagne is getting the tar beaten out of him and Hennig keeps getting tags that the referee doesn’t see. Hennig comes in and just cleans house. You might even say he’s perfect at it. A missile dropkick on Somers gets the pin for the faces. DeBeers jumps Snuka and like an idiot goes for the head. If you’re going to be a racist, know your stereotypes.

Rating: D+. Again just kind of a mess but I’m assuming there’s a story here as there would be little reason to have this as the main event otherwise. Hennig was a god in the AWA at this time and this was no exception at all. He looked dominant and that was why this match happened.

When that company went under, Zbyszko would head to WCW and become part of the Enforcers with Arn Anderson. They would steal the World Tag Team Titles in a tournament final and defend them at Halloween Havoc 1991.

Tag Titles: Enforcers vs. Patriots

The Enforcers are defending and are Arn Anderson and Larry Zbyszko. The Patriots are Todd Champion and Firebreaker Chip and are also the US Tag Champions, but their titles aren’t on the line here. For the sake of simplicity, if I say champions here, I only will be referring to the Enforcers. Chip, who looks like he has an entire steroid store inside him, hooks a quick abdominal stretch but Larry escapes.

Zbyszko is getting frustrated so he brings in Anderson. Off to the much taller Todd Champion but Anderson punches him down with ease. Todd gets sent to the apron but he low bridges Anderson to the floor, which again isn’t a DQ. Back in the ring and Anderson gets caught in a bearhug but Larry breaks it up. Everything breaks down and the Enforcers are knocked to the floor.

Larry comes in to face Todd and guess what Larry does. Just take a guess. After running from Todd he makes a blind tag to Anderson who dumps Todd to the floor. Larry rams him into the barricade to take over and the Patriots are in trouble. Anderson puts a knee into the chest and it’s back to Larry. Neckbreaker gets two. Todd pounds on Anderson but Arn makes a blind tag to bring Larry back in. Larry gets caught in a suplex and it’s a double tag to Arn and Chip. Everything breaks down and Chip runs into Larry, allowing Anderson to spinebust him in half for the pin to retain.

Rating: D. This was another boring match with the Patriots being in there because the Enforcers needed a challenger. The match wasn’t any good at all and the Patriots clearly weren’t very good. Chip looked like he was about to explode with all of those bulging muscles on a small frame too.

Their major feud would be with Barry Windham and Dustin Rhodes. They would break Barry’s hand at Halloween Havoc though and put him on the shelf. Dustin needed a new partner, and he debuted one at Clash of the Champions XVII.

World Tag Team Titles: Enforcers vs. Dustin Rhodes/???

Anderson and Zbyszko are defending. Dustin comes out with Barry but Windham is in street clothes. Barry says he can’t wrestle tonight (that was announced earlier) but introduces the partner. The partner comes out in a black robe and a huge dragon mask over his face. Dustin goes over and pulls the mask off to reveal……RICKY STEAMBOAT. The Enforcers go insane and refuse to hand the belts over to the referee. Anderson to Zbyszko: “HE’S JUST A MAN!”

Steamboat and Anderson get things going but everything quickly breaks down with all four guys heading outside. Zbyzsko is sent into the barricade and the Enforcers go back inside, only to be dropkicked right back to the floor as the challengers stand tall. Things settle down with Ricky grabbing a headlock before dragging it over to the corner for a tag to Rhodes. The challengers start some fast tagging to work on Larry’s arm with Dustin cranking on an armbar.

Arn finally fights back and takes Rhodes into the corner and stomping away to take over. Dustin charges into a knee in the corner and Arn is actually able to hit his top rope forearm to the back (which usually has as good of a track record as Flair coming off the top). Rhodes gets a boot up in the corner and drops Anderson to the floor with an elbow to the head. Back in and it’s off to Larry who talks a lot of trash and wants the Dragon.

Steamboat is just fine with that and scores with some martial arts but Larry slaps him in the face and gets Ricky to chase him around. The chase allows the Enforcers to catch Steamboat coming in with some double teaming and the champions take over. Ricky fights back with some chops to Anderson but Larry comes in to break up a sunset flip. The champions cheat on an abdominal stretch before dropping Steamboat with a belly to back suplex for two.

Anderson ducks his head for a backdrop but gets planted into the mat but Larry prevents a hot tag attempt. Steamboat can’t slam him due to the work on his back so Anderson slaps on a bearhug. He takes Ricky down to the mat with the hold for some two counts but Steamboat counters with a bodyscissors. Anderson switches up to a Boston crab and keeps walking it over to his corner. Larry does the same and Steamboat slaps the mat but we’re a few years away from that meaning anything in wrestling.

Rhodes gets the tag but the referee is with Anderson to further fire up the crowd. Steamboat comes back with an atomic drop to Arn and they ram heads to put both guys down. Ricky finally crawls over and makes the tag to Dustin and blow the roof off the place. Dustin cleans house with slams all around and a bulldog to Anderson. Rhodes gets knocked into the corner but Steamboat tags himself in and hits the high cross body for the pin and the titles.

Rating: A. Great old school style tag team match here with the Enforcers cutting the ring off and using classic tag team strategy. They did all the tag team spots that have worked for years and they worked here too. Dustin was getting better every single day around this time and putting him in there with Ricky Steamboat was going to make him even stronger.

Larry would start to wrap up his career around this point but he wouldn’t be done. A few years later, Steven Regal started running his mouth about how great he was and Larry didn’t take kindly to this. He decided to take Regal on at Slamboree 1994.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Steven Regal

Regal is TV Champion here but this is non title. Regal had been insulting America on Saturday Night and Larry got tired of it and punched him. There’s an anti-WWF sign in the crowd, saying WCW dominates WWF. At this time, not really but whatever. Both were rather uninteresting. Apparently Regal reads books on how butterflies fly. Why does Heenan know that? We’ve walked around for about a minute and a half and now we get contact.

It was a leg trip and it leads to more stalling. And then we repeat that. Ok seriously we’ve had three minutes go by and there have been two leg trips. Freaking DO SOMETHING! And now Regal is killing time on the floor. We hit some decent chain wrestling that lasts all of 10 seconds as I guess that’s just too much for them. Regal’s face is better than just about anyone else’s ever. There’s some great technical stuff in there but the constant stalling and standing around is hurting it a lot for me.

Regal uses a move that we would refer to as a Tazmission, which naturally gets a BORING chant from the ECW crowd. Regal goes for a butterfly suplex but Larry backdrops him over and gets a pin out of it. They would switch the title the following Saturday, so this being non-title makes something close to sense. You have to remember Saturday Night was like their Nitro at the time.

Rating: B-. This was solid from an in ring standpoint, but the stalling was freaking STUPID. It sucked the life out of this for me as it was like having commercials almost. It’s a standard thing for both guys, but that doesn’t make it right. Regal would wind up doing a far more emotional version of this about 12 years later with Dean Ambrose, Kassius Ohno and Cesaro.

Larry would become a full time commentator after this run, but come out of retirement again in late 1997 to face Eric Bischoff. The match was at Starrcade 1997 for control of Monday Nitro and with Bret Hart as guest referee.

Eric Bischoff vs. Larry Zbyszko

This should have been Hall vs. Larry, as those two had been talking trash to each other for months. However, Larry only gets Hall if he beats Eric here tonight. If Eric wins, the NWO controls Nitro. Larry is in good shape here considering he’s 46 and hasn’t wrestled regularly in about five years. Bret checks them for weapons and we’re ready to go. Bischoff has the body of a 15 year old girl. He is however a black belt in karate so you can expect a lot of striking.

Bischoff hits a quick shot to Larry’s head and immediately celebrates. More strikes follow and Eric heads out to the floor for consultation with Hall. Back in and Larry hits some shots of his own and Eric is scared. Larry goes after him again and Eric hits a spin kick to the side of the head that knocks Larry down. That’s enough for Zbyszko and he charges at Eric and takes him down to the mat. Bret admonishes him for pulling Eric’s hair, so Larry puts on a sleeper and a headscissors, both of which are broken up for being chokes.

Off to a standing figure four but Eric quickly makes a rope. The damage is done though and Larry goes after the leg. Makes sense against a karate guy. Bret keeps Larry away from Eric and the announcers PANIC. Imagine that: a referee following the rules. Eric is sent into the steps and takes a brief walk around the ring. Back in and Bret blocks a right hand from Larry, allowing Eric to get in a kick to the head. Bischoff fires more kicks with Larry on the ropes, although Bret is fine with them.

Eric is starting to kick himself out though as the kicks are getting weaker and weaker each time. Now he fires rights and lefts in the corner as Larry is just covering up. Eric can barely move now and Larry shakes everything off. A suplex puts Bischoff down and Larry ties him in the Tree of Woe. Hall pulls something out of his pocket and loads it into Eric’s shoe, WITH BRET LOOKING RIGHT AT THEM. I mean, he knows what’s going on so why not LOOK THE OTHER WAY???

Anyway, Eric kicks him in the head with the loaded foot and the piece of metal goes flying. Bret isn’t supposed to see it, despite watching it fly through the air. Eric celebrates, so Bret hits both Bischoff and Hall before putting Hall in the Sharpshooter, which is Bret’s version of the Scorpion Deathlock. Larry chokes Eric for a bit and is declared the winner, presumably by DQ.

Rating: F. This was in the second to last spot on the biggest show of the year and featured the boss of the company who has no skill whatsoever in the ring. Larry did fine all things considered, but to waste this spot on this match and to waste BRET HART’s in ring debut on this match is absolutely ridiculous in every sense of the word.

Larry would get his hands on Hall the next month at Souled Out.

Scott Hall vs. Larry Zbyszko

These two have a long history dating back to the AWA in the 80s and it’s picked up here in a battle of tradition vs. disrespect. Hall has his lackey Louie Spicolli with him. Larry had promised he wouldn’t come to the ring alone and points to Dusty Rhodes to be his corner man. Scott’s toothpick is swatted out of the air and Larry takes him to the mat. Hall goes after the arm as Tony makes fun of Heenan for thinking Larry was bringing Ted DiBiase to the ring with him. That’s hardly a ridiculous guess.

Larry offers a test of strength but gets Hall’s arms moving so fast that he slaps Scott in the face. Hall gets suckered into an abdominal stretch as Dusty plays cheerleader. Larry goes for a front chancery but Hall counters with a right hand to the face. Hall punches Larry down in the corner before tying up the legs like an STF but putting on an armbar instead.

A clothesline puts Larry down as the fans are all over Hall. The fallaway slam puts Larry down but he backdrops out of the Outsider’s Edge. Zbyszko pounds away in the corner but accidentally spin kicks the referee down. In a nice move, Larry plays possum to catch Hall in the front chancery but Spicolli runs in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was pretty good considering it was Larry’s second match in several years. Hall had to tone it down to let Zbyszko keep up with him but the match was hardly a disaster. It’s not a great match on its own but the long story building up to it makes the payoff a bit better. Not much but some.

Zbyszko would occasionally wrestle on the indies but would find a semi-permanent home in TNA. He would become an authority figure that wrestled a bit, including a huge feud with Raven. This culminated in a hair vs. hair match at Victory Road 2006.

Raven vs. Larry Zbyszko

Raven is the face here if you’re confused, as you likely are. He has a big old gut here and Larry seems to fall. Apparently Johnson tripped him. Well at least they’re not hiding it anymore. They lock up and go around the ring a bit as it’s clear this isn’t going to go long. Larry gets a spin kick as the crowd is pretty much dead here. Larry throws on a spinning toe hold and works the leg a bit.

A chop gets two but Larry complains about the speed of the count. Well at least he’s actually wrestling and not stalling all day here as is his custom. Back to the toe hold because I guess those chops were too exciting for us. Raven Effect hits but Johnson was knocked down. A pair of small packages get us nowhere and then the Raven Effect #2 ends this.

Rating: F. What else were you expecting here? Boring match to end a boring angle (by the end of it) and the ending was known for weeks. Yeah I’ve got nothing here. This was boring. That’s it.

Another feud would be with Eric Young, culminating in a Loser Gets Fired match at Bound For Glory 2006.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Eric Young

The fans are totally behind Eric here. They want Larry fired so he stalls as usual. Eric points at Larry and the fans boo, then he point at himself and the fans cheer. No contact about a minute and a half in. They lock up and Larry hits the spinning back kick and the abdominal stretch. Eric reverses and the referee takes a shot. Eric Young vs. Larry Zbyszko is getting a referee bump. Larry pulls out a foreign object but gets hit low. Eric gets the object and hits Larry for the pin.

Rating: F. If you don’t get why this is an F, you’re on your own.

I would look at some indy stuff from later on but I’m afraid it might get worse. Larry Zbyszko is a great example of a guy who did one awesome thing one time and NEVER got close to it again. The feud with Sammartino is still the textbook example of the teacher vs. student story and that’s the case for a reason: it was done to perfection. Larry was at his best on a mic though and it became a problem later on when his matches didn’t get better until he was a veteran in the 90s.

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Wrestler of the Day – May 6: William Regal

Today’s wrestler is a man. Such a man. It’s William Regal.

Regal of course got his start in England back in 1983. Those matches are REALLY hard to find so we’ll pick things up with a one off match in 1986.

Roy Regal vs. Marty Jones

There are six five minute rounds here and it’s 2/3 falls. For some reason Regal starts up one fall and WHAT IS THAT ON HIS HEAD??? I kid you not, William Regal HAS A FREAKING MULLET! He’s 18 years old here which is almost as bizarre as that hair. Marty takes over on the arm to start before working on a headlock.

They head to the mat with Marty cranking on the head before trading arm control. Regal hooks a modified cross armbreaker but gets wrist dragged down for two. The first round ends and we get a nice handshake. Jones hits a quick right hand to the ribs and a gutbuster to start round two. A pair of very nice backbreakers have Regal in trouble and a dropkick puts him down for ten. That’s the end of the match as Regal seems to be injured.

Rating: C-. These matches are such a different style that it’s really hard to grade. The injury didn’t help all that much either. I’ve heard of Jones before, though it’s bizarre to see someone like Regal as a total rookie with A FREAKING MULLET like that. The match didn’t have time to go anywhere and the round structure takes some getting used to.

Regal would head to the States and WCW in the early 1990s. He would wind up taking over the TV Title soon upon arrival and fight for the TV Title at Fall Brawl 1993.

TV Title: Steven Regal vs. Ricky Steamboat

Yes it’s that Regal. I still can’t get over the idea that his butler is Bill Dundee. We have the double ring setup as tonight it’s WarGames of course. They’ll be alternating back and forth. The first match is in ring one. Dragon has the scales and such here which is odd looking but he’s Ricky Steamboat so who can argue?

Buffer introduces Regal as being very dapper. There’s something funny about that name. Oh and I almost forgot: this is the first WCW show when they’re officially out of the NWA and are completely free. Steamboat has bad ribs from a beating last night by Regal on Saturday Night.

Speaking of Saturday Night, this is a very interesting show because the results for all the big matches had been spoiled. This is one of the major reasons why the NWA was mad and ultimately eliminated. WCW would tape MONTHS of shows in advance, giving away storylines to anyone at the tapings. For instance, later on there’s a title change and a new manager debuts. Both were known almost a month prior to them occurring.

Now think about why this is a problem. First and foremost, people know about the storylines months in advance. Second though, think about how the wrestlers are being treated. Look at Miz today as WWE Champion. Apparently his reign was supposed to be shorter but he has impressed management so much that they’re giving him a longer reign. Now look at this version of WCW. With the title changes set in stone for months down the road, why would you work hard, knowing that no matter what you do, the title changes have already happened? What’s the incentive to work harder? See the problems here?

Anyway, on to the match. Apparently Regal hurt Steamboat with an umbrella. Regal tries to go after the ribs so Ricky has to fight defensively for the majority of the opening. Off to the ramp for a bit as they try to defend Steamboat throwing him over the top to the ramp rather than to the floor. Also, shouldn’t throwing someone over the top to the ring also be a DQ?

Regal uses simple psychology here by going after the injured ribs like anyone with a brain would do. That’s the basic definition of ring psychology: why would a person do just what they did? If you were in a real fight and you knew the other guy had an injury, you would go after it right? It makes sense to, which means it’s good psychology here. Steamboat chops away in the corner and we get some reversals on Irish whips resulting in Regal’s arm hitting the buckle.

Steamboat works on the arm, again using psychology. Old guys know basic thoughts. Regal gets what appeared to be a thumb to the eye and we get an unheard of STEAMBOAT SUCKS chant. What the heck??? Steamboat plays possum and gets a leg drag but uses his leg to take Steamboat over. It’s hard to describe but imagine an arm drag by Steamboat but Steamboat uses his leg to get it over.

Back to the arm and shoulder and then up for the cross body. Steamboat’s ribs are hurt by the move though and he can’t cover. You can tell the camera side is empty as they never get close to showing it. It’s a WCW trademark and you can tell why they do it because at I think Beach Blast 93 we saw the other side and it was completely empty. Regal does the same short arm scissors lift that Bulldog famously did to Shawn but he can’t break the hold.

I was right about the crowd as they caught a quick shot of part of it. It must be Halloween because everyone is wearing an empty seat costume. Off to a chinlock by Regal. This has been 98% mat wrestling so far. It’s not incredibly interesting but it’s very technically sound of course. Off to a body vice by Regal which is a perfect move for him to use here. When did Regal start using power moves though?

Modified surfboard by Regal where he leans back with it but leaves Steamboat on the mat for a bit and just pulls on the arms. He pulls back a bit and has Steamboat more or less on his knees to give you a visual. Regal gets a nice butterfly suplex for two as we alter the style a bit. Steamboat counters into a slingshot and gets a one count while he’s setting up for it. I guess that’s a cover of some sort?

Steamboat can’t slam him and Regal falls on him for two. Ventura says Ricky should get himself disqualified. Regal tries a Tombstone but gets reversed into one of the softest Tombstones I’ve ever seen. You can hear the crowd just die on it’s impact. Steamboat counters a belly to back into an O’Connor Roll for two. Steamboat goes up and hits the cross body but hurts his ribs again. PSYCHOLOGY BABY! Ricky skins the cat but Sir William (manager) DRILLS him in the head with the umbrella so a German suplex gives Regal the TV Title.

Rating: B-. This was incredibly technical which makes things rather boring. That being said it’s still very good as both guys worked incredibly well of course. The fans hated it though which is a problem as an opener is supposed to make a crowd get into a show. Good stuff though, but 17 minutes was probably too long here.

Regal would hold the title for a LONG time until Larry Zbyszko of all people took the title in 1994. Here’s the rematch from Clash of the Champions XXVII.

TV Title: Larry Zbyszko vs. Lord Steven Regal

There’s a nice story here as Regal spent weeks bragging about how great he was until Zbyszko came out of retirement to show he could hang with the Englishman. Larry won the title from Regal about a month ago and Regal wants the belt back. Why he’s coming to the ring in a powdered wig and coat circa 1776 is anyone’s guess.

After disrobing and de-wigging, Regal hides in the corner like a true cowardly heel. Larry finally charges in but gets knocked down to give the challenger control. Some uppercuts and slaps to the face make Larry mad as Tony actually brings up the Western States Heritage Championship which Larry held for a few months back in the late 80s.

Zbyszko throws Regal over the top and out to the ramp. Back inside Larry counters a butterfly suplex into a backdrop for two and a piledriver gets the same. Regal kicks out of a swinging neckbreaker so Larry pummels him up against the ropes. Slugging it out is fine with Regal as he drops Larry with an uppercut and puts on a chinlock.

Regal only gets two off a cover as Larry counters with a bodyscissors of all things. The hold is broken and Regal hits a double knee to the face followed by a headbutt to send Larry into the corner. Zbyszko comes back with a bearhug into a Boston crab but Regal kicks him forward into a rollup and grabs the rope for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. This was a very different style than you would see most of the time in wrestling at this point. Larry was able to hang with Regal in that kind of wrestling and the match was an interesting technical display with some very nice counters. Regal continues his trend of wrestling for the majority of the match before cheating to win.

Since I’m sure you’re getting sick of hearing about the TV Title over and over again, here’s a tag team match from Clash of the Champions XXXII with Regal’s partner Sir Robert Eaton of the Blue Bloods.

Tag Team Titles: Sting/Lex Luger vs. Blue Bloods

The challengers are Lord Steven Regal and Earl Robert Eaton, which is Bobby Eaton now as a nobleman. Sting and Regal start things off and we get our first contact after a minute of posing. Regal cranks on the arm to start but gets dropkicked into the corner. Sting says bring it on before it’s off to Eaton vs. Luger. Lex is sent to the floor but Eaton walks into a backdrop on the concrete. Back inside and Luger poses, sending Eaton to the corner for a tag.

Luger slaps Regal in the face and says bring it on. Regal is tentative but sends Luger into the corner for some European uppercuts before tagging Eaton in again. A jawbreaker puts Luger down but it staggers Eaton enough that he has to tag Regal only a few seconds later. The Blue Bloods start double teaming Lex and Eaton nails his top rope knee drop.

Regal puts on his self named Stretch but Sting makes a quick save. Eaton goes up top but gets caught in a weak powerslam from Luger and they collide with each other. The hot tag brings in Sting, who knocks Eaton off the top and into Regal, setting up the Deathlock for the submission from the Earl.

Rating: C+. Just a nice little title defense here against an acceptable pair of challengers. Sting and Luger clearly weren’t going to lose the belts the night after winning them, but it was a nice performance by Eaton and Regal. It’s a good idea to have hands like the Blue Bloods around to put on a solid match and they helped do that here.

That’s enough time out of the comfort zone. Regal lost the TV Title to the worthless Prince Iaukea in 1997, so here’s his chance to get it back from new champion Ultimo Dragon at Slamboree of that year.

TV Title: Steven Regal vs. Ultimo Dragon

Regal is challenging. Dragon goes to a wristlock and manages to stop Regal’s usual counter to it and hooks an armbar. Test of strength goes on with Regal taking him down but Dragon pops right back up. They go to the corner and Dragon does his stand on his head in the corner deal. Why does no one ever hit him while he does that? I get the real life reason that he might die, but in kayfabe why not hit him?

Back on the mat Dragon fires off some kicks and hooks a half crab. Regal makes the rope and fires off some kicks of his own to send the champion to the floor. Back in a suplex gets two for Regal. They trade full nelsons and Dragon gets a sunset flip for two. Regal Stretch is avoided and Dragon is all fired up now for some reason. They get into a chain wrestling match and Regal is in his element. Regal tries the Stretch again but Dragon grabs his own mask to block it.

Since the Stretch won’t go on it’s time for the bow and arrow/surfboard (Dusty and Tenay call it either or) but Dragon escapes and fires a kick to the back. Here’s the bridging Indian Deathlock and the fans chant for Regal. Dragon switches to a camel clutch and it turns into a brawl. Dragon dropkicks him to the floor and Sonny fires off some kicks. Those get him yelled at by the champ so Dragon sends Regal back in and hits a top rope rana for two.

Regal tries the Stretch again but Dragon makes the ropes. The fans are firmly behind Regal now which is strange as this is heel vs. heel and Dragon has been the good guy by default. Both guys try rollups for two but Dragon takes over with a spinwheel kick. Tiger suplex is countered but Dragon sends Regal to the floor. Asai Moonsault hits and Sonny adds in some more kicks. Dragon stops him so Sonny kicks Dragon, allowing Regal to take over. In the ring a reverse suplex sets up the Regal Stretch and we have a new champion.

Rating: B. This was getting really good at the end and was still good when Sonny got involved. Was there ever a more useless manager now named Paul Jones? Really good opener here as they were beating the tar out of each other. Dragon would get the title back in a little over two months.

Regal would get fired over a match with Goldberg on Nitro, sending him over to the WWF for awhile. Here’s his first mtch on June 29, 1998’s Raw.

Darren Drozdov vs. Steven Regal

Sable introduces Regal, who sadly enough is just Steven Regal, British guy. I hadn’t realized it yet but Lawler is now on commentary both hours. Sable sits in on commentary. Droz hammers away on Regal who does his usual shouting. We’re on a split screen of the match and Sable, so at least there’s something to look at. JR keeps asking Sable about her relationship with Vince and all that and she can’t comment. Regal hooks a chinlock and pounds away on Droz. Droz makes a comeback and goes up. Regal suplexes him off the top and the Regal Stretch ends this boring match.

Rating: D-. I can see why Regal was sent down to Dory Funk’s training center for some more work. He hurt his ankle there though and later broke his leg so he didn’t have another match on WWF TV until around Halloween. That’s good too because this was really pretty boring stuff.

Regal’s injury plus not being a WWF guy for the most part would put him back in WCW in summer of 1999. That went NOWHERE as he was basically a jobber to the stars for his entire time there. Instead, we’ll jump ahead to March 2000 where Regal performed on the 3rd Annual Brian Pillman Memorial Show.

Chris Benoit vs. Steven Regal

That would of course be William Regal and this is the only reason to watch this show. Benoit has only been in the WWF about four months at this point so he’s still a big deal. Feeling out process to start with Benoit taking him into the corner and firing off right hands. Chris cranks on the arm a bit and Regal can’t roll free. Instead he grabs a wristlock of his own and cranks on the Canadian’s arm as we’re still in the technical portion of the match.

They go to a test of strength grip with Benoit on the mat and Regal drops a hard knee to the chest. They keep the grip and Benoit nips up before headbutting Regal away. A hard dropkick and an enziguri send Regal to the floor but he avoids a baseball slide and kicks Benoit in the face. They head to the apron with Chris DDTing him down onto the edge of the ring.

Back in and Benoit suplexes him down for two but Regal trips him up and cranks on a chinlock while laying on Benoit’s back. Think an STF minus the leg lock. Benoit makes it over to the ropes for the break so Regal dropkicks him down for no cover. Regal hooks a seated surfboard stretch but reaches up to hook a dragon sleeper at the same time. I haven’t used this in awhile but FREAKING OW MAN!

Benoit elbows out of it and chops the tar out of Regal but Steven kicks him in the chest to put him back down. Back up and Benoit tries to roll some Germans but Regal elbows his way out. Regal tries a butterfly suplex but Benoit is all like “YOU DARE FIGHT MY SUPLEXES???” and hits another German. Benoit can’t follow up though and Regal takes him to the top for a butterfly superplex for two.

Regal is sent into the corner but they ram heads, giving Benoit two. Regal may be busted open. A pair of rollups only get two on Benoit so Regal fires off even more forearms. Benoit counters a tombstone into one of his own but the Swan Dive misses. Back up again and a dragon suplex gets two for Benoit but the Crossface ends Regal a second later.

Rating: A-. This match got Regal a job in the WWF and it’s not hard to see why. This was a very physical match with both guys looking great out there. Until this point, Regal has mainly been known as the blue blood who could have good matches at times but would usually be there as a jobber. REALLY good match here and worth seeing if you’ve never seen it. I believe it’s on Benoit’s DVD.

Regal would get the European Title pretty quickly upon arrival and defend it at No Mercy 2000.

European Title: William Regal vs. Naked Mideon

That’s his official name mind you. It’s not some random nickname I gave him. Basically he wrestles in a thong and a fanny pack. He comes out in regular clothes but tries to rip them off during the match. Apparently he’s trying to get naked, making him the Kelly Kelly from the old ECW days of this generation. Mideon keeps wanting to take his clothes off but just doesn’t for some reason.

Lawler says he’s a great chain wrestler. He can beat any chain you put him up against. Eh half a point for a decent line. Pretty much total dominance by Regal here. Mideon gets his shirt off and continuously pulls his pants up. Wouldn’t that be against his character in theory? Crowd is DEAD here mind you. And there go the pants. Regal sets for the Stretch but thinks twice about it. A neckbreaker ends it.

Rating: D-. Totally pointless match where nothing of note happened and the comedy didn’t exist. Mideon was hardly a character that was ever going to really do anywhere and I have no idea what the point of this being on the show was. This was a waste of time but I guess it bridges the gap between the big matches.

Regal would soon enter his biggest feud in WWE to date, as he became Commissioner but was opposed by Chris Jericho. This led to a showdown in the opening match at Wrestlemania X7.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. William Regal

Jericho is defending and this is a result of him not liking Commissioner Regal’s regime. Basically he thinks Regal is boring and therefore relieved himself in Regal’s teapot. Regal responded by having the RTC and the Dudleys beat up Jericho on various nights. Jericho came back by dressing up by Doink for no apparent reason and putting Regal in the Walls of Jericho.

Regal pounds away to start but Jericho forearms him out to the floor. There’s a big dive by the champion to take Regal down before he drops Sweet Willy B on the barricade. Back inside and a jumping back elbow off the top puts Regal down again before they head to the mat. Jericho tries for the Walls but Regal escapes and sends the still injured shoulder (from the aforementioned beatdowns) of Jericho into the post. A quick suplex gets two for Regal and it’s back to the arm.

Jericho comes back with an elbow but Regal takes him down with a rollup for two more. Another suplex puts Jericho down again but Regal can’t keep him down. The fans start cheering for Jericho as Regal takes off a turnbuckle pad. The referee is ok with this for some reason as Jericho’s shoulder goes into the steel. Jericho comes back with a pair of enziguris before a middle rope missile dropkick gets two.

Jericho misses a charge in the corner and nearly hits the post head first. In a surprising move, Regal goes up top for a butterfly superplex which gets a delayed two. Jericho trips the legs and tries the Walls again but the shoulder gives out, allowing Regal to hook the Regal Stretch (STF with a half nelson) but Jericho makes the rope. Jericho fights back again but gets kicked in the shoulder, only to send Regal into the exposed buckle and hit the Lionsault to retain. That was a really sudden ending and JR sounded surprised so maybe it was called on the fly.

Rating: B-. This was exactly what an opener was supposed to be: fast paced, hard hitting and it told a good story. They beat on each other for seven minutes straight with nothing of note looking bad. The idea of the shoulder injury was a perfectly fine story to keep the match going and the Regal Stretch worked for a climax. This was a really good opener and it hit every point it was supposed to hit.

Regal would join the Alliance during the Invasion and face Tajiri at Survivor Series 2001.

William Regal vs. Tajiri

Regal hurt Tajiri’s girlfriend Torrie on Smackdown to set this up. Also these two used to be friends. Tajiri is Cruiserweight Champion and was supposed to face X-Pac in a title for title match, but according to Commissioner Mick Foley, “No one cared about X-Pac or the Light Heavyweight Title anyway”. Tajiri fires off a kick but gets suplexed right back down.

The knee trembler takes Tajiri down but Tajiri goes after Regal’s knee with the kicks. There’s the Tarantula and Regal is bleeding from the nose. A handspring elbow gets two for Tajiri but Regal ties his head up in the ropes to stop the momentum dead. Regal tries a powerbomb but gets countered by another kick to the head. The Buzzsaw Kick misses and there’s the Tiger Bomb from Regal for the pin. Too short to rate but it was fine. Short, but fine.

After the Alliance was vanquished, Regal would start a feud with Edge and challenge him for the Intercontinental Title at Royal Rumble 2002.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. William Regal

Edge is defending. The referee checks Regal over and over again for knuckles and finds them in his trunks. Well you can’t say he didn’t do his job. The referee stupidly puts them on the ring post instead of like, giving them to someone to take to the back or something. Edge pounds away to start and chokes with his boot in the corner. He goes after Regal’s bad nose as Lawler claims conspiracy.

Regal comes back with a clothesline but Edge kicks him in the back to put both guys down. Being the British dude that he is, Regal suplexes Edge down for two. Make that four. Uh six. Yet somehow that isn’t three. Off to an arm trap chinlock followed by a hard forearm to put the champion down again. A double arm powerbomb hits Edge for two and they head to the apron. Edge busts out a DDT onto said apron, further injuring Regal’s nose.

Back in and they ram heads to put both guys down as the match continues to drag at a slow pace. Edge wins a slugout and takes Regal down with a spinwheel kick and a suplex for two. Regal suplexes him down as well, only for Edge to hit a big old clothesline for two more. The Regal Stretch goes on out of nowhere but Edge reverses into a terrible version of his own to no avail. A top rope spinwheel kick puts Regal down but he finds another set of brass knuckles. Instead of swinging them though, he pulls the referee in the way of Edge’s spear. Regal clocks Edge and wins the title.

Rating: D+. This didn’t click at all. Regal didn’t seem interested in selling at all and Edge wasn’t ready to carry a match by himself yet. He was getting to the point where he could but it would take a summer of feuding with Eddie to get him up to that point. Regal wouldn’t really do anything with the belt other than lose it to RVD. Nothing to see here.

Regal would join up with Test and Lance Storm as part of the Un-Americans in a mostly bad angle. Regal and Storm would become a regular team, including this match from Raw on October 21, 2002.

Lance Storm/William Regal vs. Bubba Ray Dudley/Spike Dudley

The winners get a title shot against whoever the champions are now. Apparently it’s Christian/Jericho. Storm runs down American before the match. Spike vs. Storm to start things off with the smaller dude taking over quickly. The fans want tables but other than that things are mostly silent. We’ve lost commentary for some reason and by the time that sentence is finished JR is back.

Off to Bubba who takes Lance down with a neckbreaker but Regal hits Bubba in the back of his recently concussed head to give Storm the advantage. Regal comes in as Kane arrives in the back. Everything breaks down and Spike ranas Storm off the top. Bubba catches the superkick from Storm and hits the Bubba Bomb. Spoke hits the Dudley Dog on Regal for the win and the title shot.

Rating: C-. This was one of those matches that was too short to go anywhere of note. Regal and Storm as the Unamericans were a solid team but the gimmick was only going to go so far, especially with Test weighing them down as their third man. Nothing to see here and thankfully D-Von would reunite with Bubba the next month.

They would receive a shot at the belts on Raw, January 6, 2003.

Raw Tag Titles: Lance Storm/William Regal vs. Goldust/Booker T

Goldie and Booker are defending. Booker and Storm start things off with the champion slamming him down and dropping a knee for no cover. Off to Goldie for a forearm off the top but Storm hits him in the face to bring in Regal. Goldust shoulders him down as Bischoff is watching in the back. Back to Booker for more punches in the corner until Storm makes the save.

We hit a chinlock as the match is already going nowhere. A running knee to the side of Booker’s head allows Storm to come in for a cravate. Booker finally fights out and kicks Lance down, allowing for the not hot tag to Goldust. House is cleaned and a powerslam gets two on Storm. Everything breaks down and Goldust takes both guys down. Storm gets caught in a modified Hart Attack but Regal takes the referee out.

The champs and referee are both out on the floor and we take a break. Back with Storm kicking a charging Booker in the face. During the break Chief Morely took over as guest referee. Storm accidentally superkicks said guest referee but there’s no one to count. The third referee runs in to count two on Storm after a Booker spinebuster. Off to Goldust for his hard slaps in the corner but the challengers bail to the floor.

Goldie charges after Storm and runs into a clothesline from Regal. This match continues to be dull stuff. Regal pounds away on Goldust a bit more until it’s off to Storm for another chinlock. This one doesn’t last long and it’s off to Booker for hopefully the last hot tag of the night. Mr. T. cleans house and there’s a Spinarooni followed by an ax kick for two on Storm. Morely pulls the third referee out of the ring and a brass knuckles shot from Regal knocks out Booker for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. It was long, but MAN was this boring. At the end of the day it was pretty clear that the titles were going to change here due to the odds and Bischoff needing to dominate the entire show, which makes it even worse. As usual, a team loses in a joke last week and wins the titles the next week. Also, how overbooked was this match? Nothing to see here.

Regal would miss over a year and a half due to a heart condition so we’ll skip ahead to February 7, 2005 with Raw in Japan. Given who is in the match, you can figure it out for yourself.

Raw Tag Titles: William Regal/Tajiri vs. La Resistance

Gee I wonder what’s going to happen. Conway and Grenier are defending here. The place ERUPTS for Tajiri who is all fired up here. Regal and Eugene were champions but Eugene is injured so Regal picked Tajiri as his new partner. Massive Tajiri chant starts up so Regal starts off with Conway. Regal Stretch goes on but it’s off to Tajiri who adds the low dropkick as the offense is on.

Regal plays Ricky Morton for a bit here despite getting some shots in to try to break the momentum. The fans chant something but it’s in Japanese. Grenier punches Tajiri so when Regal takes him down there’s no one to tag. STF is broken up quickly and there’s the hot tag to Tajiri who cleans house. Let the kicks begin! Enziguri hits Grenier for two as everything breaks down. Double handspring elbow takes out the French dudes and it’s Tarantula time. Regal takes Conway down and there’s the Green Mist and a Buzzsaw kick gives us new champions.

Rating: C+. The match totally doesn’t matter and is rated too high, but this is about giving the fans something to erupt for and that’s exactly what they did here. Tajiri and Regal would hold the belts about three months so this wasn’t just a fluke title reign. No problem at all with this and while it’s not great or anything, it was perfectly done as it made Tajiri look like a star.

Since this is getting WAY too long already, we’re going to skip over the rest of 2005 and pick things up in 2006 when Regal is a replacement opponent for the US Title at Great American Bash.

US Title: Finlay vs. William Regal

JBL goes on a hilarious rant before the match. “LIVER ENZYMES??? AS MUCH AS I’VE DRANK I’M LUCKY TO HAVE A LIVER!!! MY LIVER LOOKS LIKE JAKE ROBERTS’ AND MY LIVER ENZYMES HAVE NEVER BEEN HIGH!” I’m having issues having Cole as a neutral commentator. Regal is worried about Horny (not yet named) interfering. Regal goes a-leprechaun hunting and before the match starts.

Regal says he’ll just leave but Finlay tries to roll him up anyway. They lock up and go all the way to the floor without breaking it. They walk around and back up the steps and into the ring without breaking that lockup. Regal grabs a single leg and works the leg but that gets him nowhere. Regal throws him to the floor and here’s Horny! He pops Regal in the leg and JBL freaks out. “I want one for Christmas!”

Regal loses track of him and stands on the steps instead of, you know, GETTING IN THE RING. Horny sneaks up on him and Regal nearly jumps out of his skin. Back in Finlay gets a clothesline for two and it’s off to a nerve hold. This heel vs. heel thing is only kind of working so they’re going for comedy. JBL gives us a European soccer lesson as Finlay takes over. Regal gets in some kicks and a butterfly suplex for two.

Horny is back! He bites the fingers of Regal and Regal has to rake the eyes of the tiny leprechaun to escape. Back in and Finlay takes over, working on the hand. Regal gets in a shot to the leg to break the momentum. This is a highly technical match to go with the comedy which is an interesting mix. Regal hooks a chinlock but Finlay fights out with some shots to the ribs.

Back to the floor and you can hear them hitting each other incredibly hard. This was the same thing they did back at Uncensored 96, although this is a more entertaining match. Now Finlay hooks the chinlock. Regal throws him into the corner and they ram heads. In a great old school heel move, Regal drops to a knee, putting his leg on Finlay’s throat, while he talks to the referee. Exploder suplex puts Finlay down and there’s a knee drop for two.

The fans call this boring. I call them uncultured slobs. This is a European style match and it’s entertaining to see a different perspective. Regal runs off the apron and gets crotched on the apron skirt. Finlay hammers him back into the ring and takes Regal’s shoe off. It’s possible Horny stole it. Finlay misses a charge and hits the post. The fans are loudly booing now. Regal gets the Irish club that I can’t spell. Horny slips Finlay Regal’s boot though and a shot with that is enough for the pin to keep the title on Finlay.

Rating: C-. I’m going to be in the fairly extreme minority here but I enjoyed this. The technical aspect of it is really good but the comedy stuff is going to be very hit or miss. To be fair though, this was a hard one to work out as the styles really clashed. I was entertained by it though and that’s the point of this.

Regal would hook up with his old partner Dave Taylor as a heel team on Smackdown, with the two eventually getting a Tag Team Title shot at Armageddon 2006.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Dave Taylor/William Regal

Londrick are champions here. Before the match gets started here’s Teddy. He makes this a ladder match so here are some ladders. Regal FREAKS but Teddy isn’t done. He adds two more teams to make it a fatal fourway title match.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Daven Taylor/William Regal vs. MNM vs. The Hardys

MNM lost the titles to Londrick and are returning here since Nitro (Morrison) is on Raw. The Hardys are also on Raw but who cares? Jeff is IC Champion and they’re not Boys anymore. The crowd is WAY behind the Hardys. The heels are sent to the floor so it’s Londrick vs. the legends. Matt and London take over but Kendrick and Jeff come back. Spin Cycle takes out London and appropriately enough the Brits come back in.

Matt and I think Nitro pick up ladders and the fight goes to the floor. The Hardys come down the aisle with ladders as Regal and Taylor try to keep them out. Just about everyone is back in now and there’s a pair of ladders. Poetry in Motion hits Regal and Taylor takes a Snapshot. Double superkick puts Regal down again and things slow down a bit.

The champs and the Hardys go at it, including Matt throwing Kendrick into a ladder HARD. Jeff goes up but London makes the save. London goes up but the Hardys save. Nitro tried a springboard move to take him out but the ladder was already down so the spot landing looked sick. Mercury is almost up there but London/Kendrick/Hardys pick up the ladder and shove Mercury over the top onto Nitro.

Poetry in Motion is attempted but London moves and Jeff crashes into the ladder. With everyone down, Kendrick makes a run but Matt saves. Neckbreaker puts Kendrick down and London hits a suplex on Regal outside. Matt gets put on a ladder leaned against the ropes so Kendrick hits a double stomp to the ribs.

Now we get to the famous part of this match. MNM sets up a see-saw thing using a pair of ladders. They put Jeff on the top and set for a double suplex but Matt makes the save. Jeff dives off and the ladder is slammed into Mercury’s face, absolutely destroying his nose. I’ve never seen more blood so fast. His nose was shattered and he would be out for a few weeks and would need 20 stitches.

Due to the injury it’s now a seven man match with the Brits in control. Half nelson release suplex sends London into the ladder. Taylor holds the ladder and Regal goes up but comes down due to fear. Taylor goes up instead but Kendrick comes in for the save. Mercury is already on his way to the hospital. Matt comes back in and hits a Twist of Fate to Taylor. Jeff sets up a ladder on the floor and tries to dive into the ring but Nitro hits a baseball slide to take out the ladder, sending Jeff’s throat into the ropes.

Nitro rides a ladder down onto Regal as a ladder is set up in the ring. Kendrick makes a save and takes Nitro down again. Matt throws Kendrick off the ladder and London has to make the save. Matt backdrops London off but the ladder falls. Jeff vs. Nitro on a ladder now and Jeff gets a big old sunset bomb and the Brits are back. They take everyone down and up they go.

Kendrick gets up there and pounds away on Regal but Taylor pulls him down again. Everyone is down and London starts crawling for the ladders. Matt is up again and goes for the same ladder. There are two ladders next to each other. Matt gets knocked down and London pulls the titles down to retain after a war.

Rating: B+. I wanted to give it an A- but it just didn’t feel right. It’s an excellent match and a great four way ladder match, despite it becoming a three and a half way part of the way through it. Londrick gets a big win here which they need and the fans get all fired up. Definitely the best match of the night (seriously, can you imagine something topping it later?) but it didn’t hit that level of the TLC matches.

Regal again wouldn’t do much for most of 2007 but would become Raw GM late in the year. He would enter the King of the Ring in April 2008 and make it to the finals.

King of the Ring Finals: William Regal vs. CM Punk

Punk comes in with bad ribs because of the matches earlier. Regal is basically in his second match after the Horny match and beating an injured Finlay. Punk starts off fast with some kicks in the corner. He tries the bulldog but gets suplexed down and it’s off to a bow and arrow hold. Punk fights up from that and hits a spinning kick to the knee.

Regal grabs the arms and forces him right back down to the mat as is his custom. The idea is that it’s strikes vs. grapples which is about as natural as you’re going to get with these two. Punk fights up again and hits a BIG kick to the head to stagger Regal. Spinning backfist sets up the high kick for two. That sounded great. Punk loads up the GTS but Regal grabs the rope. He escapes and hits the knee trembler, followed by the Stretch. Punk hangs on for almost thirty seconds but finally has to tap to give Regal the tournament.

Rating: C-. This was too short to mean much but it gave Regal some more psychosis to work with which was a really entertaining time. Then it just stopped cold because it was getting too good and that’s how WWE works. Punk giving up because of the rib injury is ok because Regal didn’t win fairly (coming in at a big advantage), which is fine.

Regal would be Wellnessed off TV and allegedly out of a World Title reign. He would win the Intercontinental Title from Santino Marella in a squash in November before losing the title to CM Punk in a mostly forgettable feud. Regal would get a chance at the US Title at Extreme Rules 2009.

US Title: Kofi Kingston vs. MVP vs. William Regal vs. Matt Hardy

Well this is random. Kofi won the title 6 days ago from MVP. He beat Hardy and Regal for the title shot in the first place. This is an extreme gimmick? Sure why not. MVP is a face here…I think. Yeah he is. Regal has been hitting on Vickie to get into this. Matt gets a rather solid pop. He’s heel here which is just odd to type.

Oh and Matt still has a broken hand from Mania. MVP is the same thing that he is today. That’s all you need to know about him: he hasn’t changed a bit in a year. Regal hasn’t either but he’s more or less a jobber now so it’s not like it matters that much. Kofi hits a dive to take out every American in this match.

Then he takes out the British guy as well. It’s your usual insanity for one of these matches as we get rotating one on one matches. That works fine I think as it’s really the only way you can do these without insane choreography before it starts. Regal gets solid heel heat. He’s just so easy to hate.

Everybody but Matt gets in a Tower of Doom spot so Matt dives on them all but of course it doesn’t work. Also his hand seems to be just fine all of a sudden. For some reason I love that leg drop that Matt does from the middle rope. It’s not like there’s anything really special about it or anything.

Kofi hits a Boom Drop on Regal who is on top of Matt in a decent spot. Kofi hits that pendulum kick that seemingly every midcard face hits now. I was wrong about MVP not changing anything in a year. Now he is even worse at his belly to belly overhead suplexes. Ballin hits on Matt as we’re very close to the end. You can feel it.

Regal beats up everyone but Kofi bounces off the top rope and hits a kick to the head which is called Trouble in Paradise for the pin to retain. It looked like a one footed dropkick but whatever.

Rating: D+. Not bad I guess, but WAY too short. This wasn’t even seven minutes long and it was just kind of a mess. It’s certainly not a bad match or anything like that, but it just felt thrown together and like it was there to kill time. That’s never a good sign. Kofi’s reign is about as forgettable as you could ask one to be also.

It would be off to the ECW roster soon after this where Regal would become the top heel. After losing to Christian in 8 seconds at Summerslam, Regal would get a longer ECW Title shot at Breaking Point.

ECW Championship: Christian vs. William Regal

This is 5 days after the ECW is Leaving announcement was made so there we are. Naturally Christian gets a huge pop being the Canadian. The monsters are sent to the back. This is more of a technical match which is what Regal is a master of. This is an intense match if nothing else. The fans are as into this as they’ve been into anything all night long. Regal avoids the Killswitch three times and then gets it on the fourth. Well that was abrupt. Somehow this was ten minutes long.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t much at all. It could have been a main event on any ECW TV show and it wouldn’t have been anything special at all. This was pretty weak and as mentioned, the announcement that the brand was folding didn’t do much good for the interest level in this match.

Regal would go into semi-retirement after this and only wrestler a few matches a year. We’ll jump ahead to 2013 where Regal is an NXT commentator but Kassius Ohno is tormenting him. They would have a showdown on April 10, 2013.

Kassius Ohno vs. William Regal

They lock up to start with Regal shoving Ohno back. Brad’s stupid joke of the week is to call Dawson Jerry every few moments. Back to the lockup until Regal takes over with an armbar. Ohno is taken to the mat by the arm as Regal cranks away even more. Now it’s a hammerlock and after a drop toehold Ohno still can’t get back up. Regal lets him back up and Ohno grabs a wristlock, only to be easily sent into the corner and stomped down by the old villain.

A forearm puts Ohno down as this has been one sided so far. Ohno finally gets in a shot to the ribs to send Regal to the floor. A baseball slide puts Regal into the barricade and we take a break. Back with Kassius getting two off something we didn’t see and firing off some HARD kicks in the corner to Regal’s head. Now it’s a full nelson to stay on the neck and upper body of Regal. William uses a nice counter to escape and stomps on Kassius’ fingers for good measure. He bends them back around the ropes as momentum changes again.

Regal stays on the arm and hand and drives some knees into Ohno’s face. Ohno comes back with a hard kick to the head to take Regal down as the ear is hurt even more. Another kick crushes Regal’s head against the post but Ohno can’t hook his cravate hold. Kassius kicks Regal again for two but he still can’t hook the Kassius Clutch. Off to a quick chinlock instead but Regal rolls out and hits a quick exploder suplex. His balance is WAY off though so he can’t hook the Regal Stretch.

A belly to back suplex puts Regal on his head again for two more and Kassius is getting frustrated. William is getting all fired up and gets to his feet, only to have his head kicked off for two. Ohno loads up the rolling elbow but Regal nails him in the ribs to set up the Knee Trembler for the pin at 14:06 shown of 17:36.

Rating: B+. This was a match based on emotion and the injury to Regal which worked very well. The story of teacher vs. student is one that always works and it did the job again here. The good thing here is that Regal didn’t look dominant at all at the end, which keeps Ohno from looking weak. Really good and physical match here with a solid story throughout.

The same thing happened later in the year, but with Cesaro instead of Ohno. From Christmas Day, 2013.

Antonio Cesaro vs. William Regal

The Fink is doing entrances, which gives me an answer to the question I just asked. The disgusted yet also terrified look on Regal’s face is perfect. Cesaro cranks on the arm to start and Regal can’t counter. Antonio takes him to the mat but Regal nips up to draw a gasp from the crowd. Cesaro stays on the hold and takes Regal down again but there’s another nip up. “You still got it!”

Regal takes Cesaro down to his knees but still can’t get away from the wrist control as we take a break. Back with Cesaro still on the arm and jumping onto a standing Regal’s shoulders (basically putting himself in a fireman’s carry) to apply even more pressure. Regal flips him down into an armbar but Cesaro nips up just like Regal did earlier. William takes him down by the other arm but Cesaro powers up into a test of strength.

Cesaro easily powers Regal down but the Englishman counters into a cross arm choke. He leans backwards to put Cesaro over his knees while still choking, only to be flipped forward to escape. Back to the test of strength before Regal counters a front facelock into a dragon sleeper. Cesaro flips him forward in a kind of reverse suplex for two but Regal gets him down into the corner and does his “distract the referee while kicking the opponent in the face” spot.

Antonio chop blocks Regal down and rams the bad knee into the apron a few times as we take another break. Back with Cesaro holding a leg lock but Regal keeps fighting back with kicks to the head. Cesaro keeps control by cranking on the knee even more and taking off Regal’s knee brace. The knee is bent around Cesaro’s neck in an old Brock Lock but Regal counters into a rollup and backslide for two each. Cesaro hits a series of ten uppercuts to knock Regal silly, setting up the Cesaro Swing.

After some trash talk Antonio loads up the Neutralizer but Regal backdrops his way out. He drops a knee on Cesaro’s arm to take away the Neutralizer. Regal goes after the arm with everything he’s got and hits an overhead suplex for two. The knee is too damaged for the knee trembler though and Cesaro comes back with a headbutt. Regal is fine with that and headbutts Cesaro right back before loading up a double underhook suplex. Cesaro backdrops Regal but can’t break the grip.

Regal takes him to the mat again and tries the Regal Stretch but Cesaro makes the rope. A forearm from the good arm lays Regal out and a double stomp to the back of the head has the referee checking him. Cesaro looks down at Regal before picking up his limp body. He sets up the Neutralizer but thinks twice about it and lets Regal fall back to the mat. Regal tries to pull himself up so Cesaro puts on the Neutralizer. He looks down at Regal’s unconscious body and looks disgusted after pinning Regal at 16:00 shown of 24:00.

Rating: A. I loved this for a lot of reasons. First of all, the technical stuff at the beginning was excellent with two old school craftsmen doing their jobs as well as anyone can. It’s wrestling in its purest form and when you have guys who can work that style it’s as entertaining as you can get. Then there’s the excellent storytelling with Regal trying every trick he knew but not being able to stop Cesaro’s raw power. The ending with Cesaro not wanting to hurt Regal anymore but giving in to his natural instincts of winning at any cost was great stuff. I loved this match and continue to wait for Cesaro to be taken seriously in WWE.

William Regal is the definition of an old time wrestler. He can wrestle any style and make you HATE him with relative ease. No he wasn’t ever the top guy, but he’s forgotten more about wrestling than almost anyone else can ever learn. Regal will be a trainer or commentator for as long as he wants and a lot of fans will be very lucky to see his students on WWE TV.

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Wrestler of the Day – March 15: Iron Sheik

AH! Today Wrestler of the Day #1! All other Wrestler of the Day! Bah phooey! It’s Iron Sheik.

Sheik was born in Iran and was an Olympic wrestler as well as a guard for the Shah of Iran. He would head to America and become a professional wrestler under the tutelage of Verne Gagne. Sheik started as Great Hossein Arab and did some stuff for the WWF back in the 70s. Here he is challenging for a Japanese title in Madison Square Garden on December 17, 1979.


NWF Title: Antonio Inoki vs. Great Hossein

This is like the Japanese tag titles earlier with the NWF Title being the primary title for NJPW in the early days. Hossein is more commonly known as the Iron Sheik and I’ll be referring to him as such here out of instinct. Sheik does his anti-American thing which is more or less verbatim as to what he would use in his more famous character. Inoki is completely dominating here as Sheik can’t even land a punch or anything close to it.

Inoki throws on the weakest armbar I can remember in a long time and Sheik gets his first offense in with a slam that gets him absolutely nowhere. He throws on a leg lock but Vince says this isn’t s submission hold for no apparent reason. Holy crap the heel is taking over a bit, albeit with incredibly generic offense. The fans think Iran sucks.

Well that offense didn’t last long as here comes Inoki again. Sheik actually hits a dropkick and not a bad one at that. He goes for an abdominal stretch which looks like some screwed up way of trying to humble Inoki. I’ve always wondered about that and why he’s so obsessed with the idea of it. Vince says this has been even which is ridiculous but whatever. Inoki gets a nice sunset flip into a modified Sharpshooter in a nice combination.

Inoki tries to take the boot off of Sheik because it might be loaded up. I never got this part of Sheik but whatever. He gets it off and Sheik is in a boot and a sock. The boot is loaded with something apparently. Inoki is busted open from a shot with it. And then the enziguri ends it. Sheik hits him with the boot again afterwards.

Rating: C-. Not horrible I guess but at fifteen minutes this was WAY too long. It was just a step away from being a squash which in a long title match is never a good thing at all. It’s cool seeing guys this famous when they weren’t incredibly well known yet though but dang fifteen minutes of them is just too much.

Here’s another match from the same arena soon thereafter, on January 21, 1980.

The Great Hossein Arab vs. Larry Zbyszko

This is called the third bout and it’s right after the previous one on my list. Arab is much more famous as The Iron Sheik. Sheik tries to take it to the mat but Larry escapes to a stalemate. Larry speeds things up and sends Sheik to the floor where he gets very ticked off. Back in an elbow misses and Sheik is even madder. I sense a humbling. Larry hooks a headlock and pounds away with right hands. The fans are way into this.

Back to the headlock and things speed way up with a crisscross. Sheik hits a pair of leapfrogs but gets caught in the headlock again. Sheik has finally had enough and blasts Larry in the face, but a knee drop misses and it’s back to Zbyszko. There’s an abdominal stretch but Sheik reverses into one of his own but that gets reversed as well. Sheik sends him into the corner and backdrops him for two.

We finally get to the heel control portion of this but it ends just as quickly in a Zbyzsko sunset flip. They collide and both of them go down. Sheik gets up first with a suplex but he can’t cover immediately so it only gets two. Another suplex is countered into a small package which gets two for Larry, as does a slam. Sheik loads up one of the boots but Larry trips him down and goes after it. That somehow gets two but Sheik kicks him onto the ref. That’s not enough for him so he drops an elbow on the referee for the DQ.

Rating: C-. It’s amazing what charisma can do for you. This was only a little bit better of a match than the previous one, but the charisma the two guys have made me want to see them fight which is what made things work better here. Sheik getting more and more disgruntled until he snapped worked a lot better for a story than “I’ll hit you a lot.” Larry would turn heel on Sammartino the very next day.

Sheik would earn at shot at Bob Backlund’s WWF Title on the day after Christmas of 1984 in MSG.

The Iron Sheik is an Iranian wrestling champion who had a habit of swinging Persian clubs before his matches. He would often challenge his opponent to swing the clubs as well and Backlund was no exception. In doing so a few days before the match, Backlund had been jumped by the Sheik who injured Bob’s ribs and shoulder, putting him at a disadvantage coming into the match. Backlund is in a singlet here instead of his usual trunks. Sheik jumps the champion to start and chokes Backlund with the strap from Backlund’s singlet.

The challenger cranks on Backlund’s shoulder which apparently was hurt in the attack as well. Sheik is already dripping with sweat only a minute and a half into the match. Backlund sends him into the ropes but gets shouldered down for his efforts. Back to the armbar for a LONG time before it’s off to a bow and arrow to mix things up a bit. Backlund finally kicks him off and hits a headbutt to the ribs followed by a headknocker. A kind of swinging neckbreaker by Bob puts both guys down.

Sheik hooks an abdominal stretch on the mat which transitions into a surfboard hold. Backlund fights back with a right hand but the ribs are hurting him a lot. A kick to Sheik’s head staggers him a bit but Backlund can’t slam him. Sheik hooks the arms again and drives a knee into the champion’s back to keep Bob in trouble again. The hold stays on for a good while with all of Backlund’s attempts at countering falling short.

Sheik takes it to the mat to no avail but Backlund can’t hook a backslide. An elbow drop misses Backlund though but he can’t hook his rolling cradle. Sheik hooks his camel clutch out of nowhere and Backlund is in big trouble. After only a few seconds, Backlund’s manager Arnold Skaaland throws in the towel, which is the same as a submission and gives the Sheik the title.

Rating: D. This was a rather boring match with Backlund having almost no offense at all. This is just a step ahead of what is known in wrestling as a squash, with one guy getting in almost no offense whatsoever. Having the towel thrown in was a way to save Backlund’s status as a top man because he didn’t submit and the blame can be placed on Skaaland, who would be gone soon after this anyway.

Sheik shocked the world by winning the title. Here’s a rare title defense from January 21, 1984 in Philadelphia.

WWF World Title: Iron Sheik vs. Tito Santana

Santana is one of those guys that unfortunately I won’t get to talk about that much in here because he very rarely received title shots. One report I’ve seen said that this was one of only two world title shots he received in over ten years with the company and I can’t imagine it’s much higher than that. Given how talented he was in the ring (multiple time Intercontinental and Tag Team Champion as well as being in the WWE Hall of Fame), that’s rather surprising.

Tito jumps Sheik to start and clotheslines him with the Sheik’s own turban. Santana is a house of fire and knocks the Sheik to the floor with a clothesline. Back in and the champion is knocked straight to the floor by another atomic drop. The Sheik takes a walk for a bit before heading back inside for more punishment. Tito grabs a headlock to take the Sheik down to the mat where the champion is in trouble.

Sheik fights up but Tito easily switches over to a front facelock to keep control. Back to a headlock by Santana as Sheik is in big trouble. The Iron one fights up but gets taken down by a shoulder block. A hiptoss puts him down as well but Sheik goes to the eyes to take control for the first time. The champion pounds away at Santana’s head and neck but misses a running flip senton (basically a front flip attack) to give Santana a breather.

Tito grabs a suplex but dazes himself in the process. A splash hits the Sheik’s boots though and Tito is in trouble again. Sheik puts on an abdominal stretch but Tito quickly makes the rope. A clothesline puts Tito down for two but he comes back with a sunset flip for two of his own. Tito small packages him for two more before punching the champion in the face. A pair of dropkicks send Sheik to the floor so the champion picks up a chair. He slides it back inside but the referee stands on it so Sheik can’t use it. The champ shoves the referee down just as Tito hits his flying forearm finisher, earning a DQ in the process.

Rating: D+. This took time to get going but Santana was the right choice for a match like this. He knew how to time a comeback so that the crowd would respond best to it, making the chance at a title change seem like a real possibility. That’s where a guy like Tito was most valuable; he wasn’t likely to win the world title at any time in his career, but you could put him in a spot like this where you needed a challenger and get solid results out of him.

Then this happened two days later.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Iron Sheik

This is it. This is the match that changes EVERYTHING. Sheik beat Backlund only a month earlier and Backlund is too injured to get his rematch here, so Hulk gets the shot instead. The place goes NUTS for Hogan’s entrance for the first of many occasions. This is Hogan’s return to the Garden after about three years. After being bored all night, the place is going nuts just from hearing the beginning of Hogan’s entrance with “From Venice Beach, California.”

The bell rings and Hogan CHARGES at him in the corner before Sheik can even get his robe off. A clothesline with the robe takes down the champion and it’s all Hulk so far. Another big clothesline puts Sheik down before Hulk easily picks him up for a choke. Hulk, ever the hero, spits on Sheik to a huge ovation. Big boot gets two so Hulk hits a pair of elbows for two. Hulk FINALLY screws up by missing a running elbow in the corner and Sheik takes over.

The champion stomps away with those curled boots of his. I guess it’s a Middle East thing. A backbreaker puts Hogan down but he easily powers out at one. Off to a Boston Crab but Hulk powers out after about ten seconds. Sheik can’t get anything going here long term. A gutwrench suplex gets two for Sheik and puts on the camel clutch that won the title. Hulk casually wags his fingers no and he powers out of the hold in less than thirty seconds. Hogan picks Sheik up, rams him into the buckle, drops the big leg, and as Gorilla puts it, Hulkamania is here.

Rating: A+. This was exactly what it was supposed to be as Hogan squashed Sheik here, basically selling nothing and escaping Sheik’s best move before beating him in less than six minutes. Look at this card: even the opener was a minute longer than this match. Hogan DOMINATED the champion here and left no doubt about who was better. After this, everything became about flash than substance, and for people who complain about it, let it go already. The change is over and it’s never going back. Absolutely perfect here.

We’ll shift gears now and look at Sheik getting a rematch with Santana, this time for Tito’s Intercontinental Title. From February 18, 1984 in Philadelphia.

Intercontinental Title: Tito Santana vs. Iron Sheik

Tito is defending if that’s not clear. Sheik is immediately stalling on the floor before mixing it up by stalling in the ring. He easily takes Tito down a few times with some nice amateur moves before slamming the champion down on his back. Some hard shots to the back have Tito in trouble and Sheik yells a lot. Tito grabs a small package for two before kicking Sheik in the ribs a few times.

Sheik gets in a kick of his own and sticks his chest out to the crowd. Tito counters a suplex into one of his own but the champ can’t follow up. A camel clutch attempt is countered with right hands to the ribs but Sheik grabs a Boston crab. Tito powers out with a pushup and gets all fired up. The bald guy bows down in fear but Santana hammers away on him instead. A dropkick and airplane spin have the Sheik in trouble but they tumble out to the floor. They hammer away on each other until it’s a double countout.

Rating: C-. This was one of those matches that worked better for the live crowd than a TV one. Most of the match was spent with big gestures from the two of them and the people ate it up. Sheik was a great heel but without the camel clutch there was only so much that could be done here.

About a year later Sheik would hook up with Nikolai Volkoff in a tag team which should have been called the Iron Curtain. They fought the US Express at the first Wrestlemania for the Tag Team Titles.

Tag Titles: US Express vs. Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik

The Express is Barry Windham and Mike Rotundo and they’re defending tonight. A little trivia for you: the song Real American was originally used for the two of them but Hogan wound up using it instead. The heels do their whole Russian national anthem and Iran/Russia #1 deal before the match. Rotundo and Sheik start things off with the Iranian hooking a headlock. A dropkick puts Sheik down and Mike grabs a headlock.

Off to Barry who avoids double teaming and causes the challengers to collide. Back to Rotundo to work over Nikolai with an elbow drop getting two. Windham comes in off the top with a shot to the arm and Rotundo does the same thing. Sheik suplexes Mike down for two as the foreigners take over. Nikolai drops him throat first across the throat and the USA chant starts up.

A sunset flip gets a quick two for Mike but it’s back to Sheik for an abdominal stretch. That doesn’t last long though as Mike hiptosses out of it and it’s off to Barry via the hot tag. The bulldog (Barry’s finisher at the time) takes Volkoff out as everything breaks down. In the melee, Sheik hits Windham in the back with the cane for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C. This was a better match than we’ve seen so far with the fans getting way into the whole USA vs. foreigners thing. The title change was there only so something historic could happen and the Express got the belts back about two and a half months later. They would split soon after that with both guys heading to the NWA.

Sheik would also be in the first match ever on Saturday Night’s Main Event in a six man tag.

Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff/George Steele vs. Mike Rotunda/Barry Windham/Ricky Steamboat

That’s quite the face tag team. This was on the SNME DVD (greatDVD that should certainly be picked up if you can find it. Awesome stuff on it) as an extra. Blassie is with the heels and Albano is with the faces. The two foreigners had taken the tag titles from the US Express at Wrestlemania for a token tag title change.

About a year prior to this, the US Express had been using Real American for their theme music. That went to Hogan of course and here they use Born in the USA by Bruce Springsteen which works like a charm for them as it’s perfect. We start with Windham and Steele which is an odd matchup if there ever has been one.

Sheik was hitting the end of whatever usefulness that he had at this point. Rotundo would soon head to WCW and become a member of the Varsity Club, ending in an awesome moment with Rick Steiner taking the TV Title from him after months of being talked down to by him. Wow what a tangent that was.

Oh and he’s more commonly known as I.R.S. Oddly enough the faces dominate early on. We go to commercial with the faces dominating. We begin the awesome SNME tradition of not having action during commercials so we don’t have to be all confused about how we got to a point during a break.

Wow there are four hall of fame wrestlers in here and two on the floor. That’s rather impressive, especially considering that the two that aren’t in there are two of the three most talented. Steele comes in and his teammates abandon him, allowing Windham to get a quick rollup for the pin. Steele eats a turnbuckle and the tag champions beat him up. That doesn’t last long as Albano comes in to calm him down and Steele is a face.

Rating: C-. Eh this was fine. It wasn’t meant to be anything special other than a way to get Steele out of the dark side, but the heel offense consisted of about four Volkoff punches and other than that it was a complete squash. I don’t get why it was so one sided, but it did its job and wasn’t bad at all so for the first match in show history this was perfectly fine.

Another big deal in 1985 was the Wrestling Classic. Here’s Sheik’s first round match.

First Round: Junkyard Dog vs. Iron Sheik

I like JYD’s song. It’s just old school personified. Sheik jumps him as it’s still playing though, which in a bit of a comedic moment is how Sheik’s former partner lost earlier in the night. Sheik is freaking ripped. Somehow, Dog is more limited than Putski was earlier. He hits nothing but punches and headbutts. Eventually he goes down though and Sheik gets the clutch on him. Jesse says no one has ever gotten out of this. You know, other than Hogan in the match that changed wrestling forever but that didn’t mean as much as this did of course. It’s also the sloppiest camel clutch this side of Sid Vicious. Dang it’s bad.

Dog gets out of it kind of as Sheik argues with the referee. In an even dumber ending than before, a headbutt gets the pin. What? He used two of them before and didn’t even knock Sheik down but here that’s enough to get a clean pin? Come on now guys at least give us some consistency! Why couldn’t one of these two have gotten hurt early? I hate booking like this. It’s more or less saying the lazier you are, the stronger you’ll get pushed. That’s great business wouldn’t you say?

Rating: F-. Where do I begin? Let’s see: the moves were limited and sloppy, the thing lasted three whole minutes which I’ll never get back, and the ending made zero sense. What kind of a grade did you expect here? The crowd went nuts for the Dog though and that’s likely why he went on to win the tournament.

We’ll look at one more Iron Curtain match because that was a big time for Sheik. From Boston on August 9, 1986.

Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff vs. Hart Foundation

In Boston here and this would be heel vs. heel. The Harts are the faces by default and get cheered as a result. They also break up the Russian national anthem to really ensure their cheers. Even Gorilla acknowledges that no one cheers the Harts most of the time. The Harts clear the ring and eventually we start with Bret vs. Nikolai. Off to Sheik before anything happenes.

Bret sends him to the floor pretty easily as the Harts are in desperate need of a better team than this to face. Sheik gets him in the heel (I guess) corner but he misses a boot so Volkoff gets knocked down. Nikolai does get up to break up the middle rope elbow and Neidhart is shoved away. Sheik can take over now and brings in Nikolai who gets caught in a sunset flip which the referee misses.

The team that should have been called the Iron Curtain uses the classic basic heel moves to control as Sheik runs through his array of offense: abdominal stretch, gutwrench suplex and camel clutch, the final of which is broken up by Jim. Bret blocks some suplexes and it’s off to Neidhart. Jim cleans house with a bunch of dropkicks but Sheik breaks up a cover. Everything breaks down and Sheik pulls Neidhart’s leg to break up a slam and Volkoff falls on top for the pin.

Rating: D. Bad match and it’s not the right pairing for the Harts at all. They’re much better against the speed teams and since there was at least one for them to fight in the Killer Bees, I’m assuming there’s something up here. Not much of a match and pretty short, but the Harts did what they could. It just didn’t work all that well.

Sheik would stick around for another few years without accomplishing anything of note. After jumping around the AWA, WWC and NWA without doing anything interesting (save for getting squashed by Sting on PPV), it was back to the WWF to capitalize on the Gulf War. This is from Wrestling Challenge on June 30, 1991 with Sheik portraying Colonel Mustafa.

Colonel Mustafa vs. Jerry Stevens

The first part of the match is spent on an inset interview with Mustafa and his superior General Adnan. Stevens gets suplexed down as the announcers plug a trivia game on Hulk Hogan’s 900 number. A belly to back suplex sets up the camel clutch to give Mustafa the win.

The evil trio (Adnan, Mustafa and the now evil Sgt. Slaughter) would have their biggest match in the main event of Summerslam 1991: a handicap match against Hulk Hogan/Ultimate Warrior.

Ultimate Warrior/Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Colonel Mustafa/General Adnan

Sid Justice is guest referee and Hogan is WWF Champion. Hogan and Slaughter get things going but the Sarge wants to stall. Slaughter pounds on him in the corner but gets caught between the right hands of both superheroes. Off to Warrior for a clothesline followed by a double big boot to put Slaughter down again. A clothesline gets two for Hogan and it’s back to Warrior. This is completely one sided so far. Hogan comes back in with a middle rope ax handle for two.

Sid breaks up some choking in the corner and the distraction lets Slaughter get in some shots on Hogan. Adnan, an old manager, comes in to rake Hogan’s back and slowly pound away in the corner. Off to Mustafa (Iron Sheik) for the gutwrench suplex and the camel clutch but Warrior makes the save. Slaughter comes back in to choke away in the corner and send Hogan into Sid for a staredown. Sarge jumps the distracted Hogan and stomps away on the back.

Warrior breaks up a top rope something by Slaughter, allowing for the hot tag to the painted one. Warrior cleans house on Slaughter but runs into Sid for another staredown. Back to Mustafa who gets caught in a suplex but Slaughter blocks a tag. Slaughter puts Warrior in a chinlock, only to have the Ultimate One fight up and clothesline Sarge down. There’s the hot tag to Hogan as Hogan chases the lackeys to the back with a chair. More on that later as Hogan throws powder in Slaughter’s face and drops the leg to win.

Rating: D+. I’m not a fan of this one as the match was never in doubt at all, but above that the Iraq War had been over for six months so the interest in the feud was done long ago. Nothing to see here but the fans reacted pretty well to it. This would have been better as a house show main event instead of the main event of Summerslam. If nothing else there was a match around this time on a Coliseum Video with Slaughter/Mustafa/Undertaker against the superheroes. Wouldn’t that make a much better main event here?

Slaughter would turn face soon after this, setting up a feud with Mustafa. They would captain teams at the 1991 Survivor Series.

Team Mustafa vs. Team Slaughter

Colonel Mustafa, Berzerker, Skinner, Hercules

Sgt. Slaughter, Tito Santana, Jim Duggan, Texas Tornado

A lot of these guys are on their way out. Hercules would be in WCW by May, Tornado would job to the stars until leaving in July as would Mustafa (Iron Sheik), and the rest of the guys would do nothing of note for the rest of their time in the company. Kerry (Tornado) looks high as a kite and almost falls off the apron getting into the ring. This is pretty recently after Slaughter’s face turn as he was a heel at Summerslam. This isn’t exactly the most talent laden match ever and the only feud is Slaughter vs. Mustafa.

Tito and Skinner start with Santana taking over with a headlock. There’s the flying forearm out of nowhere and Skinner hits the floor without a cover. Off to Berzerker vs. Tornado which would work a lot better down in Dallas. Berzerker (a crazy viking who tried to stab Undertaker with a sword) misses a dropkick and it’s off to Mustafa. After some very brief offense, Kerry tumbles to his corner and brings in Duggan to face Hercules, which was in the first ever match at Survivor Series.

Duggan gets taken down by double and triple teaming and it’s off to Mustafa. He loads up his curled boots (it’s a Sheik thing) and does nothing with them. Thanks for wasting our time with that. Duggan pounds away and backdrops Mustafa down before the hot tag to Slaughter. The big showdown is an atomic drop and a clothesline to Mustafa for the elimination.

Berzerker comes in with some clotheslines and a kick to the fat gut of Slaughter. A boot to Slaughter’s face puts him down and it’s off to Hercules for some two counts. Back to the viking who gets crotched on the top rope and kicked in the legs. Off to Duggan who clotheslines Berzerker to the floor and backdrops him back there a few seconds later. Tornado comes in and pounds away on him before it’s off to Hercules again. Tito gets a blind tag and hits a forearm to the back of the head (El Paso Del Muerte) for the pin and the elimination.

Skinner, the guy that owned now former developmental program FCW, comes in as it’s 4-2. When you have Skinner and Berzerker as your only guys left, the team is in big trouble. A blind tag brings in Slaughter who rolls up Skinner for the elimination. Slaughter whips Berzerker into Duggan’s clothesline for the elimination and the win.

Rating: F. The match sucked, it was never in doubt, and the biggest deal on the heel team was Skinner, who would get an IC Title shot soon after this. What a horrible match and one of the most worthless ones in the history of the show so far, which is covering quite a bit of ground. Nothing to see here at all.

We’ll wrap it up with a handicap match in MSG on December 29, 1991.

General Adnan/Colonel Mustafa vs. Sgt. Slaughter

The winner gets to raise their own country’s flag. Mustafa (Iron Sheik) sings the Iraqi national anthem. No tagging required here I don’t think. Nope none at all. They jump Slaughter to start and use his bullet belt to work Slaughter over. Adnan goes outside which apparently he doesn’t have to do but does anyway. Most odd indeed.

Sheik gets a shot to Slaughter’s throat with something but the referee is distracted. Slaughter gets a clothesline to take over to almost no reaction. Adnan comes in as this needs to end soon due to the high level of suck in the evil foreigners. Slaughter rams them into each other and clotheslines Adnan for the pin to end it even though he wasn’t legal I don’t think.

Rating: D. Quick but barely long enough to call it a full match. It’s pretty bad and thankfully this angle/feud ended soon after this as the time for this thing went on way too long. Nothing special at all here and it was boring and bad on top of all that. Sarge was back though, even though he would be gone relatively soon.

Iron Sheik started out as an awesome wrestler with a great look and gimmick but time caught up with him in the late 80s. After that it was just living off of his past glory for a few years before he basically went nuts and wanted to, ahem, humble various wrestlers. Look up what that means for yourself. Anyway, Sheik is a very underrated talent that you should look into more if you only remember him for getting beaten up by Hulk Hogan.

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