Wrestler of the Day – August 17: Bruno Sammartino

Today’s wrestler is the original WWF superstar: Bruno Sammartino.

Bruno started in 1959 and the earliest I can find for him is 1963 in what might be the WWWF in Buffalo. I’m assuming this is the whole match.

Bruno Sammartino vs. Hans Schmidt

Bruno easily wins a forearm battle to start and knocks Schmidt out to the floor. Back in and Schmidt chokes with the tag rope and pounds away in the corner. Bruno is stomped down and has his head rammed into the buckle. He fights back but gets his hair puled to put him right back down. Some big forearms put Hans back outside and the stalling begins. He comes back inside and they slug it out until the bell rings, presumably for a time limit draw.

Rating: C. This is a hard one to rate as we didn’t see most of the match (fairly obvious given how fast the match ended) but what I saw wasn’t all that great. The interesting thing here though is how aggressive both guys were. This could have passed for your modern power brawl if you didn’t know what era it was from, which says a lot when this is over fifty years old.

We’ll jump ahead to the end of Bruno’s WWWF Title reign for this match from July 25, 1970 in Philadelphia.

Bruno Sammartino vs. George Steele

Gorilla Monsoon, the host of the tape this is from, says this is from sometime in the 60s but isn’t sure exactly when. That would likely be because it’s from the 1970s but he’s close enough. Back then Steele was a top heel so this would have been a big time fight. The cage is weird looking as it’s more or less wire walls rather than a traditional cage. Steele has riot gear police officers bring him out. This is still escape rules. Naturally the commentary is from the 80s rather than back in the day as there likely wasn’t commentary done for this originally.

This is clipped to an extent. Bruno hammers him as this is probably the culmination of what was a major feud. Steele looks identical to what he would for the rest of his career. Steele actually gets a low blow before eating a turnbuckle. He rubs the stuffing into Bruno’s eyes which blinds him but George won’t just leave. Apparently Styrofoam stuffing is blinding. This is in Philadelphia according to Monsoon.

Bruno gets rocked by Steele for a good while as the camera and lighting is really different here but of course at the time no one knew what to do from a production standpoint as this was a very new idea back then. Bruno Hulks Up as Steele pounds away and then runs as Bruno can’t be hurt. Sammartino destroys him by ramming him into the cage a bunch and then climbs out.

Rating: C-. Nothing great here but seeing something from this far back in time is always cool. Steele didn’t change a bit in about twenty years and was still completely awesome the whole time. This was a pretty ok match but the clipping didn’t help. Bruno was completely awesome in cages and this worked ok but at six minutes shown, how into a cage match can you get?

Here’s a fairly famous match from MSG on January 18, 1971.

Bruno Sammartino vs. Ivan Koloff

The footage is very old and of low quality so the details might be sketchy here. Also the match itself ran about fifteen minutes but only eight minutes of footage exists. Koloff grabs a quick headlock to start but is backdropped down as the champion escapes. A slam and an armbar put Koloff down but he grabs a headscissors to escape a cover. Bruno gets monkey flipped down but takes over with an armbar.

We’re clipped to later in the match and another armbar by Bruno. Either that or the referee has developed the powers of teleportation. We’re clipped again only seconds later to Koloff holding Bruno in a bow and arrow hold. For the third time in about 30 seconds we’re clipped to Bruno trying to escape the hold but Ivan holds him in place. Again we’re clipped to Ivan cranking on the hold even more. Bruno finally escapes the hold and turns it into one of his own but Ivan makes the rope.

They circle each other a bit and we’re clipped to them circling each other again. Bruno grabs a headlock but gets shoved off and shoulder blocked down. Koloff grabs another headlock and we’re clipped to Bruno being shoulder blocked down again. Bruno hooks a drop toehold into a leg lock but we’re clipped to further in the same hold. The champion stomps on the leg but we’re clipped to Koloff choking away. We’re immediately clipped again to Koloff stomping on Bruno before sending him hard into the corner.

Ivan keeps punching and kicking away and we’re clipped to him doing more of the same. This is one of the most clipped matches I’ve ever seen but for footage over 42 years old, there’s not going to be a much better option available. Koloff pounds away even more and we’re clipped to Bruno making his comeback with right hands to the ribs and a kick to the same place. A slam by Sammartino gets two and we’re clipped to him holding Ivan in a chinlock. We’re clipped again to a cover by the champion but Koloff is too close to the ropes.

We’re clipped again to Bruno hammering away and getting two off a punch to the ribs. Another clip takes us to Ivan in a chinlock again and another clip takes us to later in the same hold. The hold gets two and we’re clipped to Ivan sweeping Bruno’s leg out. We’re clipped yet again to Ivan doing the same thing before we’re clipped to Ivan kicking Bruno in the chest.

A fourth clip in fifteen seconds sees the referee accidentally being knocked down by Koloff in the corner but he’s right back up. Ivan slams Bruno down in the corner and goes up top, dropping a knee in the stomach of the champion. He covers Bruno and history is made as we have a new world’s champion for the first time since 1963.

Rating: C. The rating is based on what we were able to see. While it’s certainly not as intricate or flashy as the matches we regularly see today, there was definitely an energy to the match and nothing looked terribly bad. The problem here of course is the ridiculous amount of clipping, but from what I understand we saw about half of the match here, which is more than I’ve ever seen before.

We’ll jump ahead again to a tag match from some point in 1973.

Bruno Sammartino/Dick the Bruiser vs. Baron Von Raschke/Ernie Ladd

Baron and Bruiser get things going here with Von Raschke hiding from Dick’s right hand. Some shoulders put Baron down and a middle rope stomp is good for two. Ladd makes the save and Bobby Heenan is losing it. Bruiser hooks a chinlock and we’re clipped to Bruno coming in to face Ladd.

Bruno sends the much bigger Ladd into the buckle and knocks him over the top with a single right hand. He puts the boots to Ladd but gets shoved down by the Baron. Bruiser grabs Von Raschke by the face and sends him to the floor before doing the same to Ladd. Back in and Heenan breaks up a cover before Bruiser backdrops Baron. A cover gets two but Von Raschke gets his foot on the ropes…..which the referee pulls off and counts the three for a pin.

Rating: C+. Again better than I expected here though I’m assuming the referee was a bit crooked. This was a very different era where you could win a match on a backdrop and no one would think anything of it. Again I really like the energy out there and it made for a more entertaining match than I was expecting.

Here’s another match from the WWWF in 1974 on TV from Philadelphia. Bruno is champion again but I think this is non-title.

Bruno Sammartino vs. Mr. Fuji

Some armdrags put Fuji down to start and he looks shocked by Bruno’s speed. Fuji goes to the eyes like a true heel should, only to get whipped hard into the buckle to keep the champion in control. A slam puts Bruno down but he kicks away and grabs an armbar. The hold stays on long enough that we get a replay of the last few moments. Fuji comes back with another slam but misses a running splash.

We’re in the third armbar in five minutes and it’s time for another replay. Fuji comes back with a pectoral claw so Bruno just nails him in the jaw. It’s foreign object time and a rake to the eyes with whatever Fuji has is enough to take over. Bruno again comes right back with a knee to the ribs so Fuji goes to the eyes again. Vince: “There’s no telling what’s in the tights of Mr. Fuji.” Fuji goes up top but gets slammed down for two. A backdrop is enough to pin the evil Hawaiian.

Rating: D+. See what I mean about the times being different? If nothing else, the lesson we learn here is don’t get backdropped in the 1970s. The match was pretty dull with armbars that were long enough to air replays. To be fair though this was just a TV match so not a lot was going to happen.

Here’s the first ever cage match in MSG on December 15, 1975.

WWWF World Title: Bruno Sammartino vs. Ivan Koloff

This is inside a steel cage and is called the first ever cage match in Madison Square Garden. You can only win by going out of the cage. Koloff attacks to start the match but Bruno fires off right hands to send Koloff into the cage. Bruno sends him chest first into the buckle and fires off some knees to the face to keep control. Vince calls Koloff the favorite to win the match for some reason. Bruno pounds away even more and sends Ivan face first into the cage wall again.

Bruno stomps away on the back of the head before sending him into the cage again. All Bruno so far. Ivan comes back with a kick to the stomach to take over and now Sammartino tastes the steel. The champion comes back with more right hands and sends Ivan into the cage yet again. Bruno fights back with right hands and pulls Koloff back in as he tries to escape. The ring is especially loud in this match. Ivan goes face first into the cage three times in a row and make it four.

Koloff gets a boot up in the corner to put Sammartino down before dropping the top rope knee onto the champion’s ribs. Ivan is bleeding from the forehead. Bruno pounds away and hits a knee to the chest to keep Ivan in trouble. They seem to mess up a spot before colliding in the ring. A knee to the ribs staggers Ivan and Bruno sends him into the cage once more. Koloff is rammed into the cage again and again before being sent hard into the corner.

Ivan is now between the cage and the ring as Bruno turns up the aggression even more. He sends Koloff head first into whatever metal object he can find before choking with his boot. The champion rakes his boot over Koloff’s eyes and sends him into the cage yet again. There are two more shots into the cage before Bruno climbs out of the cage to retain his title.

Rating: D+. This was a rather short cage match and it was a glorified squash at the same time. Koloff was soundly defeated here which was the entire point of the match. Still though, it wasn’t incredibly exciting as the majority of the match was Bruno ramming Ivan into the cage over and over again. That being said, the fans loved Bruno and that’s the point of the game.

Another title defense from March 1, 1976.

WWWF World Title: Bruno Sammartino vs. Ernie Ladd

Ladd is a 6’9 former football player who was a powerhouse in his own right. The video is labeled as being from Madison Square Garden but it doesn’t look like that arena whatsoever. Ladd has a taped up thumb that the referee wants to take a closer look at. A quick armdrag by Bruno sets up an armbar but Ladd makes the rope. Bruno tries the same combination again and gets the same result. Ernie grabs a quick bearhug and Bruno is in some early trouble.

Ladd gets him down to the mat for a two count with the hold and puts his feet on the ropes for extra leverage. He gets caught too many times though and the referee finally breaks the hold. This time Ladd starts choking away but moves around fast enough to avoid the referee from seeing him. A big slap to the face puts Bruno down again. The champion comes back with a bunch of right hands including one that knocks Ladd out to the floor.

That goes nowhere so Bruno pulls him back in and whips Ladd into the corner. A backdrop puts Ernie down and there’s a boot to the head. Ladd is on the mat holding his head before getting back up and hitting the champ in the throat. A headscissor takeover gets two for Ladd but Bruno comes back with punches and knees to the ribs.

Sammartino rams Ladd into the buckle a few times but misses a charge into the corner. Ladd hits a football tackle to drop the champion and then does it again. A slam puts Bruno down and drives the taped thumb into Sammartino’s throat. Ernie goes up top for a splash but only hits canvas though, giving Bruno the pin to retain the title.

Rating: C-. While this was a somewhat more energetic match than some of the other ones that we’ve looked at, it’s still a pretty slow paced affair. Ladd was a huge power guy which doesn’t quite work against a smaller (5’10) powerhouse like Bruno. The match was decent enough though and it got a good reaction from the crowd, but it was still kind of dull to sit through. It’s a very different kind of wrestling that not all fans are going to like which is understandable.

Time for another pretty famous moment from Baltimore on April 30, 1977.

WWWF World Title: Bruno Sammartino vs. Billy Graham

The ring is especially wide here for some reason. They feel each other out a bit and Graham easily shoves Bruno around. Now Bruno shoves back and grabs an armbar for good measure. Graham makes the rope and heads to the floor for a bit before returning for a test of strength. Bruno goes down to his knees twice and even gets his shoulders counted a few times. The champ fights back and sends Graham to the floor to reset things a bit.

Back in and they fight over a top wristlock with Billy taking control again. Bruno fights back again and takes over with an armbar of his own. The challenger fights up and hits a knee to the ribs, sending Bruno down for some more stomping in the process. Graham goes to the throat to keep the advantage but misses a running knee in the corner. Bruno pounds away and Graham is busted open.

Billy comes back with a whip into the corner and it’s off to a bearhug on the champion. Bruno is in trouble all of a sudden but he fights up from his knees on the much taller Graham. Right hands to the head break the hold and there’s a hard whip into the corner by the champion. Now Sammartino hooks a bearhug of his own but Billy gets a rope. They fight in the corner with Bruno in full control. The referee tries to break it up though, allowing Graham to trip Bruno’s legs out from under him and roll Bruno up with his feet on the ropes for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. This wasn’t too bad but more importantly it showed what Graham could do in the ring. He was insanely powerful and had a flashy look as opposed to the bigger than average but still relatively normal look that dominated wrestling in the 70s. This was Bruno’s last match as champion and he went out in a pretty good way.

And a rematch on August 1, 1977.

WWF Title: Bruno Sammartino vs. Billy Graham

Gorilla is the guest referee for this one and good night is he huge. He shoves Graham around for trying to jump Bruno before the bell. He has no issue with Bruno doing the same though. Gorilla is also doing the voiceover thing here and says that more or less anything goes here. For the second time he says he’s 423lbs at this point. He won’t count Graham out because he says he’s not ending a title match with a count out.

Bruno was limited in his offense but at the same time that’s all you have to do. I think this is in Toronto but I’m not sure at all. Graham gets the feet and gets something from under the ring. Ah it’s a rope. Bruno chokes him with it and Gorilla isn’t as adamant about stopping that. According to Gorilla this is in MSG also but there’s no way given how this arena looks.

The idea here is that Bruno just wants the title back and Graham is trying to find a way to escape with it as his power isn’t working this time as Bruno might be stronger and is at least just as strong. Bruno works on the knee and hooks a half crab. We get a clip again as the hold is broken. That kind of sucks the drama out of matches and I’m not a fan of it at all.

Graham throws in a low blow and Gorilla seems to be ok with it. On the commentary he claims it might have been in the thigh. Yeah the hand being up around the trunks of Bruno really looks like a thigh shot Monsoon. Graham goes up top and misses a knee and Bruno is all fired up again. Ok never mind as he eats post. Billy goes out and gets the belt which Gorilla steals as well. Shame he didn’t do it before the belt hit Bruno’s cranium.

Bruno is BUSTED WIDE OPEN as I channel my inner Gorilla. Graham hits the floor to leave so Gorilla throws him back in the ring. Well you can’t say he’s not active. He says if you look hard enough in the rule book it’s in there. Graham might be busted too and now he can’t get back in the ring.

Gorilla won’t count which is kind of funny. Bruno is ALL FIRED UP and there’s the bearhug again. And there’s a shot to Gorilla but still no DQ. Now that Gorilla’s shirt is just covered in blood he has no real choice but to stop it. It’s kind of hard to question that and he points out that he didn’t have much of a choice.

Rating: B-. Another brutal fight here with all kinds of blood out there. Feuds back then were based more on what happened in the ring rather than what happened on the mic so it’s a very different kind of style. This was a pretty fun match though as Bruno just beat the living tar out of him and Graham kept trying to cheat no matter what he could do. I liked it though.

Time for one of the biggest feuds ever at the time. Starting on January 22, 1980.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Bruno Sammartino

Now THIS is some legendary stuff. This is the original match where it’s more of an exhibition than a match. Basically Bruno is the teacher who taught Larry everything he knows but Larry wants to prove he can hang with Bruno. This is from January of 1980. This is going to be all feeling out/nice guy stuff until the very end. Sammartino takes him to the mat with a drop toehold and has dominated the entire match so far.

Bruno keeps putting holds on Larry and then lets them go which is an odd choice of offense. Larry grabs an abdominal stretch but Bruno powers out of it. Half crab goes on Bruno but Larry lets it go. Sammartino grabs about his fifth hold and lets go of it too. They try a crisscross and Larry gets tossed over in a hiptoss. He’s getting very ticked off here.

Apparently Bruno said he’d only wrestle defensively in this match. Larry heads to the floor to cool his head and Bruno looks the other way for some reason. Larry comes back in and in the biggest heel turn ever at this point, DESTROYS Bruno with a wooden chair. There is blood all over the place. This was shocking and came out of absolutely nowhere. It also set up the hottest feud of the year which we’ll get to the blowoff of in a second.

Rating: C-. The match itself means nothing as the heel turn is the whole thing. This was one of the biggest angles ever and is still a huge turn that works to this day. They would feud over the summer and would blow it off in front of about 40,000 people in the infield of Shea Stadium. We need to get to that now.

Now the blowoff from Showdown at Shea. For this match, bare in mind that it’s from the WWE 24/7 version. Michael Cole and Mick Foley did not do commentary for a match in 1980.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Bruno Sammartino

Wrestling 101 here: Bruno was the mentor, Larry decided he had surpassed the teacher, teacher kept being the star, student attacks the teacher, they go to a baseball stadium and have a wrestling match in front of 36,000 people in a box with no lid on it. Tale as old as time. Old school cage here, as in the kind they have now. NUCLEAR heat on Larry. Bruno gets the only entrance of the night.

We even get clips of Zbyszko’s heel turn which is WAY rare. Bruno jumps him to start and Larry hits the cage 3 times in about 5 seconds. You can only go through the door here and not over the top for no apparent reason. Apparently Larry talks about this match to the point of annoyance. Low blow gives Larry a chance to breathe as this has been very intense so far.

Foley makes another interesting point: Bruno headlined all three Shea shows and only once was world champion at the time. That’s saying a lot. This is the first match with an angle and the crowd clearly knows it. We get into a discussion about whether Bruno would be successful today and the commentators say yes because he was the people’s man. You know, like that blue collar guy that represented the hard working everyman who didn’t like his boss. Someone you could have a beer with. Or maybe a case of them if you get what I’m talking about. Yeah I think Bruno would have worked today.

Almost all Bruno so far. Now we talk about Stan Hansen inspiring Foley to sleep with his wife. Ok then. We hear about Larry and Foley driving together and Cole says how would they get a word in edgewise? Foley says he only talks over Cole because he’s smarter than Michael is. Nice line! Bruno’s arm is bleeding so Larry punches away at it. After nearly ten minutes Larry makes the first attempt at the door, naturally not getting there.

We get into a semi-argument over whether or not Foley ever worked out. Foley seems genuinely ticked off about that and I can’t say I blame him. Bruno wakes up and beats the heck out of Larry, kicking him in the head one more time and walking out to win it definitively. Bruno beats on him some more after the match ends

Rating: C+. Solid match for what it was supposed to be which was a big time brawl. The fans loved it and Bruno decisively won. What more can you ask from them? This was a blowoff to a feud and that’s what they did. There’s nowhere for this feud to go from here and it ended. That’s what gimmick matches are for. LEARN THIS RUSSO!

We’ll jump ahead to Bruno returning to the WWF after a few years away. Here’s a grudge match inside a cage on February 8, 1986.

Adrian Adonis/Randy Savage vs. Tito Santana/Bruno Sammartino

Wild brawl to start with Adonis vs. Santana and Bruno vs. Savage. Savage is the IC Champion at this point. You only win with both guys getting to the floor. They’re MOVING out there. Apparently the door is only going to be opened upon request. So it’s like a shave around the ears? Bruno, an old veteran of cage matches, stops Savage from trying to escape.

Even Adonis is running so you can tell they’re serious here. Bruno is beating the tar out of Savage here. I love the way he throws boots. This was actually a hot feud as Bruno came out of retirement to feud with Savage which in reality was a way to get his son some spots on TV. Tito makes a nice save to keep Savage in the door and Bruno crotches Adrian just because it’s fun. Gorilla says his wish just came true. I don’t want to know what that means. Tito is busted and it’s not bad.

It’s kind of odd to see someone use a kick as their main offense when you’re so used to seeing punches being the main thing. Savage goes for a double axe from the top but runs into the fist of Santana and the heels are in trouble. Savage is bleeding BAD. He manages to stop Santana though.

Adonis goes up and dives off the top, hitting Sammartino with a knee drop. Unfortunately that’s because he botched it for the most part and kind of fell off the top of the cage onto Bruno. Savage gets a leg over the top but runs into the taco salesman from Tijuana. The heels are slammed together allowing Bruno to get out the door and Santana over the top to end this.

Rating: A-. Sweet goodness this was a war. They beat the living crap out of each other and none of the four ever stopped at all. Bruno could bring on the violence when he wanted to and apparently he wanted to do so here. This was a very good match with all four guys working very hard and never stopping once in about ten minutes. I liked it.

Another cage match on July 12, 1986.

Bruno Sammartino vs. Roddy Piper

Not a title match here as this is from the mid 80s. We’re in Boston here. Gorilla and Jesse talk about the experience you get in cage matches. Jesse wonders what you can actually learn in there which makes sense. Piper wears a Bears shirt which is around the time that the Bears beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl. He also hangs posters in the cage which is a nice touch.

Bruno comes out and goes straight for Piper, sending him into the cage. Piper is bleeding maybe a minute in. Bruno shoves the poster in Piper’s face as this is a big beatdown. This was another big feud as Piper had totally not respected Sammartino as most young heels didn’t so Vince set this up before cutting almost all ties with Bruno. Granted that was mutual so that’s not a fair criticism.

Piper gets a low blow to save the match and barely has his shirt off yet. Sammartino has to make a big save to keep Piper out as he might be busted open too. Piper seems more like he’s just trying to escape while Bruno wants punishment. And there go Roddy’s trunks. Ok then. Bruno kicks away and they slug it out. Jesse has kind of stopped talking here.

Roddy goes up and Bruno pounds on his supple Scottish balls. That’s not quite enough for Bruno to get out but Bruno grabs a wooden chair as he’s trying to leave and blasts Piper in the head with it to win. Jesse says that was cheating but it’s a cage match so whatever I suppose.

Rating: B-. Not bad here and a bit longer than the previous one. Bruno was fun to watch and the fans always reacted to him. This was a veteran giving the young loudmouth a beating and that’s something that is always going to work. Nothing great but a fun match either way.

We’ll wrap it up with a match in Boston on January 7, 1987.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. Bruno Sammartino

Savage hides behind Liz to start and Gorilla is freaking out on commentary. Bruno finally gets in a shot and sends Savage into the corner to put the champion in early trouble. Some right hands put Savage down and he hides behind Liz again. Bruno of course won’t swing with a woman in front of him so Randy gets in another cheap shot to take over.

A top rope ax handle drops Bruno on the floor and another drops him in the ring. Bruno comes back with his standard kicks to the ribs and Savage is in trouble. Another kick to the ribs drops Savage but Bruno ducks his head and takes a kick to his own face. A collision sends Savage to the floor and he brings in a chair for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was just a brawl for the most part but the live crowd would have liked it a lot more than someone watching nearly thirty years later. Bruno was just a nostalgia act at this point but he certainly didn’t embarrass himself. It was entertaining enough though and that’s all this was supposed to be.

I don’t know what you want me to say. The guy sold out MSG something like 200 times. I think that speaks for itself.

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Wrestler of the Day – May 11: Larry Zbyszko

I’ll cut the stalling and get right to it. Today is Larry Zbyszko.

Zbyszko got his start in 1973 and would be in the WWF pretty early on in his career. We’ll start in MSG, December 19, 1977.

Larry Zbyszko/Tony Garea vs. Jack Evans/Larry Sharpe

This is two years before Zbyszko would have his big feud with Sammartino so he’s not much yet. There’s a curfew from the New York Athletic Commission stating a show can’t go on past a certain time so this has 15 minutes max despite being listed as a one hour time limit. That’s no joke actually and they really have to stop the match after a certain time of night. Larry Sharpe is one of the three or four most prolific trainers ever, having trained about fifteen guys that I’ve heard of, the most famous being Raven, Sheamus and Big Show among a ton of other midcard guys.

Evans and Garea start us off and the crowd is just spent. Much like them I just don’t care either. Ending with a tag match like this is kind of a weird idea but I guess they didn’t want to risk anything important being cut off. Garea gets beaten on forever as like five minutes have passed since the last thing I typed. There’s just nothing worth mentioning at this point as even Vince has said this isn’t going to crack 15 minutes due to the curfew.

Zbyszko finally gets the tag and comes in to get a backdrop for the pin and the first fall. Larry beats up Jack as we’re desperately running out of time. The next show, which apparently isn’t the one Backlund wins the title on, won’t air on TV. Such a shame. Actually looking at the card, no it isn’t. The only interesting thing is an elimination 8 man tag match which we would call a Survivor Series match.

This is just going on and on as you know the time is about to run out. Everyone goes in at once. The heels are apparently called the Blonde Bombers, which about 93 teams have used over the years. Garea beats up Evans and the bell goes off for the curfew. Larry and Tony win by being up one fall, making this a kind of Ironman match. The curfew is 11. Seriously that’s just weird to hear.

Rating: D+. Nothing too bad here but they weren’t getting anywhere fast at all. This was one of those things that they throw on at the end to fill out the card, kind of like the final matches on a SNME or something. It wasn’t interesting or anything but it wasn’t horrible I guess.

From January 21, 1980, against someone you may have heard of.

The Great Hossein Arab vs. Larry Zbyszko

This is called the third bout and it’s right after the previous one on my list. Arab is much more famous as The Iron Sheik. Sheik tries to take it to the mat but Larry escapes to a stalemate. Larry speeds things up and sends Sheik to the floor where he gets very ticked off. Back in an elbow misses and Sheik is even madder. I sense a humbling. Larry hooks a headlock and pounds away with right hands. The fans are way into this.

Back to the headlock and things speed way up with a crisscross. Sheik hits a pair of leapfrogs but gets caught in the headlock again. Sheik has finally had enough and blasts Larry in the face, but a knee drop misses and it’s back to Zbyszko. There’s an abdominal stretch but Sheik reverses into one of his own but that gets reversed as well. Sheik sends him into the corner and backdrops him for two.

We finally get to the heel control portion of this but it ends just as quickly in a Zbyzsko sunset flip. They collide and both of them go down. Sheik gets up first with a suplex but he can’t cover immediately so it only gets two. Another suplex is countered into a small package which gets two for Larry, as does a slam. Sheik loads up one of the boots but Larry trips him down and goes after it. That somehow gets two but Sheik kicks him onto the ref. That’s not enough for him so he drops an elbow on the referee for the DQ.

Rating: C-. It’s amazing what charisma can do for you. This was only a little bit better of a match than the previous one, but the charisma the two guys have made me want to see them fight which is what made things work better here. Sheik getting more and more disgruntled until he snapped worked a lot better for a story than “I’ll hit you a lot.” Larry would turn heel on Sammartino the very next day.

From literally the next day, the start of the biggest story of Zbyszko’s career.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Bruno Sammartino

And then the rematch.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Bruno Sammartino

After some time in the territories, Zbyszko would head off to the AWA, with one of his first major matches being against Dusty Rhodes in St. Paul, Minnesota on June 10, 1984.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Dusty Rhodes

Zbyszko immediately stalls on the apron before getting caught in an early armbar. Back to the apron for a bit until Larry gets hammered by right hands. Larry rakes at the eyes but Dusty comes back with elbows to the head followed by some strutting. They hit the ropes and a quick (for Dusty) elbow to the head sets up the big elbow drop for the pin.

Rating: D-. Yes his finishing move really was an elbow drop at this point. The match was nothing to see but Rhodes was one of the biggest stars in the world at this point so the fans were WAY into this. Larry would become a much bigger deal in the AWA soon enough, but he would never be at Dusty’s level.

Speaking of people who were big stars, here’s a tag match from StarCage 1985.

Brad Rheingans/Bob Backlund vs. Larry Zbyszko/Butch Reed

Once Backlund left the WWF he didn’t really do much but this was probably the high point of his non-WWF stuff. Rheingans vs. Reed to start which is a pure power match. The idea here is that Brad and Backlund both coached the US Olympic team which I’ve never heard of but maybe it’s true. Anyway Brad gets caught in a headlock but he hits a dropkick to take Butch down. Off to Backlund and it’s time for the arm work.

Forget Backlund because Brad is in before he can do much at all. Larry comes in and Brad puts on a HARD headlock before bringing in Backlund for a bit softer headlock. Brad comes in again and we get some good old fashioned cheating to take him down. Butch and Larry hit a double slam for two followed by a big boot to take Rheingans down, but for some reason he’s able to easily tag out.

Backlund comes in and naturally works on the arm some more. More heel cheating (do I need to bother to explain which team is the heel version?) gets Backlund in trouble and it’s chinlock time. Larry comes in and slams Backlund for two before more double teaming follows. A small package gets two for Backlund but it’s back to Reed with a double ax to the back. There’s a bearhug as Reed slows things down again.

Off to another chinlock by Reed and Backlund is in trouble again. Back to Larry for more stomping to Backlund and there’s the abdominal stretch that Zbyszko loves to use. We can’t have a tag yet though because we need the sequel to the bearhug: the LIFTING bearhug! Just like earlier, a headbutt gets Backlund out of the hold and they collide off the ropes.

Bob makes the tag and even though the referee doesn’t see it, he lets it go anyway. I guess he’s as bored as I am. After a quick cleaning of house, Backlund is brought back in to pound away on Larry, who apparently has a title Backlund wants. That helps a bit I guess. In a very abrupt ending, Larry sets up a piledriver but Backlund backdrops him and stays on top for the pin.

Rating: D+. As I said, this match just kept going. It’s pretty clear that they’re extending the matches longer than they should go due to the amount of time they have and a total of seven matches on the card. The problem with this show is that the stories for these matches are almost tacked on, making the matches hard to get into. They’re not bad though.

And from the infamous WrestleRock 1986.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Scott LeDoux

LeDoux was a legit boxer before becoming a referee and wrestler in the AWA. This is under “European” rules, which means they wear gloves and we have ten two minute rounds. Larry Hennig, Curt’s papa, is the referee for no apparent reason. It’s really closer to boxing than wrestling but it’s the AWA so I doubt they knew what it was supposed to be. They tease hitting each other for a bit until LeDoux grabs a full nelson. Larry escapes and Scott (what is with that name being so popular in this company?) unloads on him with punches, sending Larry to the floor.

This is actually closer to MMA (kind of almost sort of) than boxing or wrestling but whatever. Larry chills with his ninja (don’t ask) for a bit as we’re probably about halfway through the first round. LeDoux gets into a boxing stance so Larry bails to the apron. I’m shocked too. Larry picks the leg and goes to the mat which is smart. Round 1 ends with Larry in control.
Off to round 2 and Larry gets on one knee. He gets up and hits a spinning kick to the ribs.

Larry climbs on his back which doesn’t work at all as LeDoux pounds on the ribs with elbows. Armdrag by Larry into an armbar but LeDoux punches him in the face. Larry pounds him in the corner and slams him for no cover. Zbyszko pounds on him to end the round.
Round 3 begins with Scott’s eye swelling shut. Larry takes him to the mat and hooks a front chancery. For the first time we’re told you win by pin or knockout. Decisions are still a gray area. Larry POUNDS HIM with punches and a kick to the ribs. Back to the mat and Larry is totally dominating him.

Round 4 starts with Larry missing a kick and LeDoux gets in a flurry to take over. For no apparent reason he grabs Larry and rams him into the corner. There’s a slam and Larry is reeling. The fans aren’t that thrilled but you can’t please everyone. They’re both getting gassed here but LeDoux clocks Larry to end the round but the bell saves him.
Larry starts round 5 bleeding and gets knocked to the floor….where he rams LeDoux into the post for the DQ 5 seconds into the round.

Rating: C-. I liked it but it wasn’t great. As usual with this show, I have no idea why they were fighting because the announcers are too busy telling us that the AWA is a national company to give us a simple story. The match was entertaining though which is really all you can ask for in something like this. Good stuff and thankfully they kept it fast paced. If this was just boxing, it would have been a disaster.

Larry would head back to the NWA for awhile where he would challenge for the Western States Heritage Title (it’s as worthless as it sounds) and defend it at Bunkhouse Stampede.

Western States Heritage Title: Larry Zbyszko vs. Barry Windham

Barry is defending. This belt lasted for about a year and a half. The name is from the fact that it started in the UWF out of Tulsa. What you’re looking at here are the only two men to ever have the title. Keep in mind that the WESTERN STATES Title is being defended in New York. Larry is just as annoying looking as he used to be. Again, no reason for this to be on the card or anything. It’s just there.

Barry is champion here and Larry has Baby Doll, the original Diva for lack of a better term with him. She looked ok but good for the late 80s. Since it’s a Larry match, the required stall gets about two minutes. Since this is a PPV though, that’s just your initial stall. I’d bet on more coming. A headlock hits after about four minutes. The crowd is rather irritated after the last debacle of a match.

I was right: Larry is stalling. Apparently there’s a history here. Don’t worry about telling us what it is or anything. Windham has a bad knee. Why you ask? Eh not told that either. Why would you need to know anything unimportant like that? Larry tries a dropkick. WOW. Even Ross makes fun of it. Oh no. LARRY USES A HAMMERLOCK! AHHHHHH!!!

Windham gets a freaky looking rollup as Zbyszko is sitting on the mat and Windham wraps his legs around him from behind. He rolls over and gets a rollup for two. Cool looking move. Windham calls the referee a bastard when he’s asked if he gives up in a leg lock. Larry uses what we would call an ankle lock. Wow that’s weird to see in the 80s.

Windham goes up and misses an elbow off the top that looked awful. It looked like he just jumped and hoped it would have hit. Larry works on the knee, which at least is consistency, although he switches things up rather than just using the same hold. ARE YOU LISTENING BOBBY EATON? Again, WHY DO THESE TWO HATE EACH OTHER? It’s never been explained. Also, when did Larry learn karate?

In an impressive move, Larry has a headlock on and Barry hits a belly to back for the counter with one arm. Very impressive looking. He then calls Baby Doll a bad word. Barry goes for a suplex but his knee gives out and Larry crashes to the mat. Isn’t that the same thing as a regular suplex? We go to the floor (called the streets for no apparent reason by JR) as this is FAR better than the previous match. It still sucks, but it’s better I guess.

We’re fifteen minutes in according to Tony. See what happens when you do more than just hammerlocks? We’re getting covers and various other shots like that but it’s still Zbyszko and Windham. In other words, it’s pretty boring. And on that note both guys fall down. Great. Just great.

Barry does six punches in the corner. Six? What the heck ? Down goes the referee. That’s just what this match needed. Baby Doll’s shoe goes into Windham’s head for the pin. That’s the only title change in the belt’s history as it would be dropped in like a year with no one caring.

Rating: D-. This was boring, but to be fair this was light years ahead of the previous match. At the end of the day, Larry Zbyszko singles matches can only be so good. This wasn’t horrible, but NO ONE cared at all. At least we’re half done with the card. It was a different time where titles would just be thrown around for no real reason. Scratch the different part.

It was back to the AWA where Larry would win the World Title in the final days of the promotion. Here’s a six man tag from some point in 1990.

Doug Somers/Colonel DeBeers/Larry Zbyszko vs. Curt Hennig/Greg Gagne/Jimmy Snuka

Larry has blonde hair here and it looks weird to say the least. This is back in Vegas for no apparent reason and is billed as the main event. Gange is the son of the owner and completely and utterly crap. He was given a title made for him and he was literally one of only two people to hold it until the company folded. The heels have Sherri Martel with them here and she’s listed as Women’s Champion so this is after June 28.

DeBeers says something stunning as he says he won’t wrestle Snuka as he’s not 100% white. He’s apparently replacing some rookie named Scott Hall. I love seeing random names like that pop up. And before any moron says something, yes I know Hall wrestled for a long time in the AWA. Larry Hennig, Curt’s dad, is on commentary with the other two. Larry (Zbyszko is the only one I’ll refer to for the rest of this match) stalls like he always does and the announcers make fun of him for it. Yeah it’s the same show as earlier as the same seats are still empty.

Larry has mad heat on him and the crowd tells him that he sucks. The Colonel comes in and refuses to fight Snuka. He’s from South Africa where apartheid was still going on. He actually has curled mustache and twirls it. I like this guy. The twirler is beating on Snuka while he’s tied up as we return from a commercial. He’s doing the traditional cowardly heel thing as he’ll only fight when it’s easy.

Hennig is the top face in the company only after Bockwinkle and would soon win the title from him, holding it for about a year. This is more or less completely lacking any kind of flow as it’s a mess if I’ve ever seen one. Gagne is getting the tar beaten out of him and Hennig keeps getting tags that the referee doesn’t see. Hennig comes in and just cleans house. You might even say he’s perfect at it. A missile dropkick on Somers gets the pin for the faces. DeBeers jumps Snuka and like an idiot goes for the head. If you’re going to be a racist, know your stereotypes.

Rating: D+. Again just kind of a mess but I’m assuming there’s a story here as there would be little reason to have this as the main event otherwise. Hennig was a god in the AWA at this time and this was no exception at all. He looked dominant and that was why this match happened.

When that company went under, Zbyszko would head to WCW and become part of the Enforcers with Arn Anderson. They would steal the World Tag Team Titles in a tournament final and defend them at Halloween Havoc 1991.

Tag Titles: Enforcers vs. Patriots

The Enforcers are defending and are Arn Anderson and Larry Zbyszko. The Patriots are Todd Champion and Firebreaker Chip and are also the US Tag Champions, but their titles aren’t on the line here. For the sake of simplicity, if I say champions here, I only will be referring to the Enforcers. Chip, who looks like he has an entire steroid store inside him, hooks a quick abdominal stretch but Larry escapes.

Zbyszko is getting frustrated so he brings in Anderson. Off to the much taller Todd Champion but Anderson punches him down with ease. Todd gets sent to the apron but he low bridges Anderson to the floor, which again isn’t a DQ. Back in the ring and Anderson gets caught in a bearhug but Larry breaks it up. Everything breaks down and the Enforcers are knocked to the floor.

Larry comes in to face Todd and guess what Larry does. Just take a guess. After running from Todd he makes a blind tag to Anderson who dumps Todd to the floor. Larry rams him into the barricade to take over and the Patriots are in trouble. Anderson puts a knee into the chest and it’s back to Larry. Neckbreaker gets two. Todd pounds on Anderson but Arn makes a blind tag to bring Larry back in. Larry gets caught in a suplex and it’s a double tag to Arn and Chip. Everything breaks down and Chip runs into Larry, allowing Anderson to spinebust him in half for the pin to retain.

Rating: D. This was another boring match with the Patriots being in there because the Enforcers needed a challenger. The match wasn’t any good at all and the Patriots clearly weren’t very good. Chip looked like he was about to explode with all of those bulging muscles on a small frame too.

Their major feud would be with Barry Windham and Dustin Rhodes. They would break Barry’s hand at Halloween Havoc though and put him on the shelf. Dustin needed a new partner, and he debuted one at Clash of the Champions XVII.

World Tag Team Titles: Enforcers vs. Dustin Rhodes/???

Anderson and Zbyszko are defending. Dustin comes out with Barry but Windham is in street clothes. Barry says he can’t wrestle tonight (that was announced earlier) but introduces the partner. The partner comes out in a black robe and a huge dragon mask over his face. Dustin goes over and pulls the mask off to reveal……RICKY STEAMBOAT. The Enforcers go insane and refuse to hand the belts over to the referee. Anderson to Zbyszko: “HE’S JUST A MAN!”

Steamboat and Anderson get things going but everything quickly breaks down with all four guys heading outside. Zbyzsko is sent into the barricade and the Enforcers go back inside, only to be dropkicked right back to the floor as the challengers stand tall. Things settle down with Ricky grabbing a headlock before dragging it over to the corner for a tag to Rhodes. The challengers start some fast tagging to work on Larry’s arm with Dustin cranking on an armbar.

Arn finally fights back and takes Rhodes into the corner and stomping away to take over. Dustin charges into a knee in the corner and Arn is actually able to hit his top rope forearm to the back (which usually has as good of a track record as Flair coming off the top). Rhodes gets a boot up in the corner and drops Anderson to the floor with an elbow to the head. Back in and it’s off to Larry who talks a lot of trash and wants the Dragon.

Steamboat is just fine with that and scores with some martial arts but Larry slaps him in the face and gets Ricky to chase him around. The chase allows the Enforcers to catch Steamboat coming in with some double teaming and the champions take over. Ricky fights back with some chops to Anderson but Larry comes in to break up a sunset flip. The champions cheat on an abdominal stretch before dropping Steamboat with a belly to back suplex for two.

Anderson ducks his head for a backdrop but gets planted into the mat but Larry prevents a hot tag attempt. Steamboat can’t slam him due to the work on his back so Anderson slaps on a bearhug. He takes Ricky down to the mat with the hold for some two counts but Steamboat counters with a bodyscissors. Anderson switches up to a Boston crab and keeps walking it over to his corner. Larry does the same and Steamboat slaps the mat but we’re a few years away from that meaning anything in wrestling.

Rhodes gets the tag but the referee is with Anderson to further fire up the crowd. Steamboat comes back with an atomic drop to Arn and they ram heads to put both guys down. Ricky finally crawls over and makes the tag to Dustin and blow the roof off the place. Dustin cleans house with slams all around and a bulldog to Anderson. Rhodes gets knocked into the corner but Steamboat tags himself in and hits the high cross body for the pin and the titles.

Rating: A. Great old school style tag team match here with the Enforcers cutting the ring off and using classic tag team strategy. They did all the tag team spots that have worked for years and they worked here too. Dustin was getting better every single day around this time and putting him in there with Ricky Steamboat was going to make him even stronger.

Larry would start to wrap up his career around this point but he wouldn’t be done. A few years later, Steven Regal started running his mouth about how great he was and Larry didn’t take kindly to this. He decided to take Regal on at Slamboree 1994.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Steven Regal

Regal is TV Champion here but this is non title. Regal had been insulting America on Saturday Night and Larry got tired of it and punched him. There’s an anti-WWF sign in the crowd, saying WCW dominates WWF. At this time, not really but whatever. Both were rather uninteresting. Apparently Regal reads books on how butterflies fly. Why does Heenan know that? We’ve walked around for about a minute and a half and now we get contact.

It was a leg trip and it leads to more stalling. And then we repeat that. Ok seriously we’ve had three minutes go by and there have been two leg trips. Freaking DO SOMETHING! And now Regal is killing time on the floor. We hit some decent chain wrestling that lasts all of 10 seconds as I guess that’s just too much for them. Regal’s face is better than just about anyone else’s ever. There’s some great technical stuff in there but the constant stalling and standing around is hurting it a lot for me.

Regal uses a move that we would refer to as a Tazmission, which naturally gets a BORING chant from the ECW crowd. Regal goes for a butterfly suplex but Larry backdrops him over and gets a pin out of it. They would switch the title the following Saturday, so this being non-title makes something close to sense. You have to remember Saturday Night was like their Nitro at the time.

Rating: B-. This was solid from an in ring standpoint, but the stalling was freaking STUPID. It sucked the life out of this for me as it was like having commercials almost. It’s a standard thing for both guys, but that doesn’t make it right. Regal would wind up doing a far more emotional version of this about 12 years later with Dean Ambrose, Kassius Ohno and Cesaro.

Larry would become a full time commentator after this run, but come out of retirement again in late 1997 to face Eric Bischoff. The match was at Starrcade 1997 for control of Monday Nitro and with Bret Hart as guest referee.

Eric Bischoff vs. Larry Zbyszko

This should have been Hall vs. Larry, as those two had been talking trash to each other for months. However, Larry only gets Hall if he beats Eric here tonight. If Eric wins, the NWO controls Nitro. Larry is in good shape here considering he’s 46 and hasn’t wrestled regularly in about five years. Bret checks them for weapons and we’re ready to go. Bischoff has the body of a 15 year old girl. He is however a black belt in karate so you can expect a lot of striking.

Bischoff hits a quick shot to Larry’s head and immediately celebrates. More strikes follow and Eric heads out to the floor for consultation with Hall. Back in and Larry hits some shots of his own and Eric is scared. Larry goes after him again and Eric hits a spin kick to the side of the head that knocks Larry down. That’s enough for Zbyszko and he charges at Eric and takes him down to the mat. Bret admonishes him for pulling Eric’s hair, so Larry puts on a sleeper and a headscissors, both of which are broken up for being chokes.

Off to a standing figure four but Eric quickly makes a rope. The damage is done though and Larry goes after the leg. Makes sense against a karate guy. Bret keeps Larry away from Eric and the announcers PANIC. Imagine that: a referee following the rules. Eric is sent into the steps and takes a brief walk around the ring. Back in and Bret blocks a right hand from Larry, allowing Eric to get in a kick to the head. Bischoff fires more kicks with Larry on the ropes, although Bret is fine with them.

Eric is starting to kick himself out though as the kicks are getting weaker and weaker each time. Now he fires rights and lefts in the corner as Larry is just covering up. Eric can barely move now and Larry shakes everything off. A suplex puts Bischoff down and Larry ties him in the Tree of Woe. Hall pulls something out of his pocket and loads it into Eric’s shoe, WITH BRET LOOKING RIGHT AT THEM. I mean, he knows what’s going on so why not LOOK THE OTHER WAY???

Anyway, Eric kicks him in the head with the loaded foot and the piece of metal goes flying. Bret isn’t supposed to see it, despite watching it fly through the air. Eric celebrates, so Bret hits both Bischoff and Hall before putting Hall in the Sharpshooter, which is Bret’s version of the Scorpion Deathlock. Larry chokes Eric for a bit and is declared the winner, presumably by DQ.

Rating: F. This was in the second to last spot on the biggest show of the year and featured the boss of the company who has no skill whatsoever in the ring. Larry did fine all things considered, but to waste this spot on this match and to waste BRET HART’s in ring debut on this match is absolutely ridiculous in every sense of the word.

Larry would get his hands on Hall the next month at Souled Out.

Scott Hall vs. Larry Zbyszko

These two have a long history dating back to the AWA in the 80s and it’s picked up here in a battle of tradition vs. disrespect. Hall has his lackey Louie Spicolli with him. Larry had promised he wouldn’t come to the ring alone and points to Dusty Rhodes to be his corner man. Scott’s toothpick is swatted out of the air and Larry takes him to the mat. Hall goes after the arm as Tony makes fun of Heenan for thinking Larry was bringing Ted DiBiase to the ring with him. That’s hardly a ridiculous guess.

Larry offers a test of strength but gets Hall’s arms moving so fast that he slaps Scott in the face. Hall gets suckered into an abdominal stretch as Dusty plays cheerleader. Larry goes for a front chancery but Hall counters with a right hand to the face. Hall punches Larry down in the corner before tying up the legs like an STF but putting on an armbar instead.

A clothesline puts Larry down as the fans are all over Hall. The fallaway slam puts Larry down but he backdrops out of the Outsider’s Edge. Zbyszko pounds away in the corner but accidentally spin kicks the referee down. In a nice move, Larry plays possum to catch Hall in the front chancery but Spicolli runs in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was pretty good considering it was Larry’s second match in several years. Hall had to tone it down to let Zbyszko keep up with him but the match was hardly a disaster. It’s not a great match on its own but the long story building up to it makes the payoff a bit better. Not much but some.

Zbyszko would occasionally wrestle on the indies but would find a semi-permanent home in TNA. He would become an authority figure that wrestled a bit, including a huge feud with Raven. This culminated in a hair vs. hair match at Victory Road 2006.

Raven vs. Larry Zbyszko

Raven is the face here if you’re confused, as you likely are. He has a big old gut here and Larry seems to fall. Apparently Johnson tripped him. Well at least they’re not hiding it anymore. They lock up and go around the ring a bit as it’s clear this isn’t going to go long. Larry gets a spin kick as the crowd is pretty much dead here. Larry throws on a spinning toe hold and works the leg a bit.

A chop gets two but Larry complains about the speed of the count. Well at least he’s actually wrestling and not stalling all day here as is his custom. Back to the toe hold because I guess those chops were too exciting for us. Raven Effect hits but Johnson was knocked down. A pair of small packages get us nowhere and then the Raven Effect #2 ends this.

Rating: F. What else were you expecting here? Boring match to end a boring angle (by the end of it) and the ending was known for weeks. Yeah I’ve got nothing here. This was boring. That’s it.

Another feud would be with Eric Young, culminating in a Loser Gets Fired match at Bound For Glory 2006.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Eric Young

The fans are totally behind Eric here. They want Larry fired so he stalls as usual. Eric points at Larry and the fans boo, then he point at himself and the fans cheer. No contact about a minute and a half in. They lock up and Larry hits the spinning back kick and the abdominal stretch. Eric reverses and the referee takes a shot. Eric Young vs. Larry Zbyszko is getting a referee bump. Larry pulls out a foreign object but gets hit low. Eric gets the object and hits Larry for the pin.

Rating: F. If you don’t get why this is an F, you’re on your own.

I would look at some indy stuff from later on but I’m afraid it might get worse. Larry Zbyszko is a great example of a guy who did one awesome thing one time and NEVER got close to it again. The feud with Sammartino is still the textbook example of the teacher vs. student story and that’s the case for a reason: it was done to perfection. Larry was at his best on a mic though and it became a problem later on when his matches didn’t get better until he was a veteran in the 90s.

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Wrestler of the Day – May 6: William Regal

Today’s wrestler is a man. Such a man. It’s William Regal.

Regal of course got his start in England back in 1983. Those matches are REALLY hard to find so we’ll pick things up with a one off match in 1986.

Roy Regal vs. Marty Jones

There are six five minute rounds here and it’s 2/3 falls. For some reason Regal starts up one fall and WHAT IS THAT ON HIS HEAD??? I kid you not, William Regal HAS A FREAKING MULLET! He’s 18 years old here which is almost as bizarre as that hair. Marty takes over on the arm to start before working on a headlock.

They head to the mat with Marty cranking on the head before trading arm control. Regal hooks a modified cross armbreaker but gets wrist dragged down for two. The first round ends and we get a nice handshake. Jones hits a quick right hand to the ribs and a gutbuster to start round two. A pair of very nice backbreakers have Regal in trouble and a dropkick puts him down for ten. That’s the end of the match as Regal seems to be injured.

Rating: C-. These matches are such a different style that it’s really hard to grade. The injury didn’t help all that much either. I’ve heard of Jones before, though it’s bizarre to see someone like Regal as a total rookie with A FREAKING MULLET like that. The match didn’t have time to go anywhere and the round structure takes some getting used to.

Regal would head to the States and WCW in the early 1990s. He would wind up taking over the TV Title soon upon arrival and fight for the TV Title at Fall Brawl 1993.

TV Title: Steven Regal vs. Ricky Steamboat

Yes it’s that Regal. I still can’t get over the idea that his butler is Bill Dundee. We have the double ring setup as tonight it’s WarGames of course. They’ll be alternating back and forth. The first match is in ring one. Dragon has the scales and such here which is odd looking but he’s Ricky Steamboat so who can argue?

Buffer introduces Regal as being very dapper. There’s something funny about that name. Oh and I almost forgot: this is the first WCW show when they’re officially out of the NWA and are completely free. Steamboat has bad ribs from a beating last night by Regal on Saturday Night.

Speaking of Saturday Night, this is a very interesting show because the results for all the big matches had been spoiled. This is one of the major reasons why the NWA was mad and ultimately eliminated. WCW would tape MONTHS of shows in advance, giving away storylines to anyone at the tapings. For instance, later on there’s a title change and a new manager debuts. Both were known almost a month prior to them occurring.

Now think about why this is a problem. First and foremost, people know about the storylines months in advance. Second though, think about how the wrestlers are being treated. Look at Miz today as WWE Champion. Apparently his reign was supposed to be shorter but he has impressed management so much that they’re giving him a longer reign. Now look at this version of WCW. With the title changes set in stone for months down the road, why would you work hard, knowing that no matter what you do, the title changes have already happened? What’s the incentive to work harder? See the problems here?

Anyway, on to the match. Apparently Regal hurt Steamboat with an umbrella. Regal tries to go after the ribs so Ricky has to fight defensively for the majority of the opening. Off to the ramp for a bit as they try to defend Steamboat throwing him over the top to the ramp rather than to the floor. Also, shouldn’t throwing someone over the top to the ring also be a DQ?

Regal uses simple psychology here by going after the injured ribs like anyone with a brain would do. That’s the basic definition of ring psychology: why would a person do just what they did? If you were in a real fight and you knew the other guy had an injury, you would go after it right? It makes sense to, which means it’s good psychology here. Steamboat chops away in the corner and we get some reversals on Irish whips resulting in Regal’s arm hitting the buckle.

Steamboat works on the arm, again using psychology. Old guys know basic thoughts. Regal gets what appeared to be a thumb to the eye and we get an unheard of STEAMBOAT SUCKS chant. What the heck??? Steamboat plays possum and gets a leg drag but uses his leg to take Steamboat over. It’s hard to describe but imagine an arm drag by Steamboat but Steamboat uses his leg to get it over.

Back to the arm and shoulder and then up for the cross body. Steamboat’s ribs are hurt by the move though and he can’t cover. You can tell the camera side is empty as they never get close to showing it. It’s a WCW trademark and you can tell why they do it because at I think Beach Blast 93 we saw the other side and it was completely empty. Regal does the same short arm scissors lift that Bulldog famously did to Shawn but he can’t break the hold.

I was right about the crowd as they caught a quick shot of part of it. It must be Halloween because everyone is wearing an empty seat costume. Off to a chinlock by Regal. This has been 98% mat wrestling so far. It’s not incredibly interesting but it’s very technically sound of course. Off to a body vice by Regal which is a perfect move for him to use here. When did Regal start using power moves though?

Modified surfboard by Regal where he leans back with it but leaves Steamboat on the mat for a bit and just pulls on the arms. He pulls back a bit and has Steamboat more or less on his knees to give you a visual. Regal gets a nice butterfly suplex for two as we alter the style a bit. Steamboat counters into a slingshot and gets a one count while he’s setting up for it. I guess that’s a cover of some sort?

Steamboat can’t slam him and Regal falls on him for two. Ventura says Ricky should get himself disqualified. Regal tries a Tombstone but gets reversed into one of the softest Tombstones I’ve ever seen. You can hear the crowd just die on it’s impact. Steamboat counters a belly to back into an O’Connor Roll for two. Steamboat goes up and hits the cross body but hurts his ribs again. PSYCHOLOGY BABY! Ricky skins the cat but Sir William (manager) DRILLS him in the head with the umbrella so a German suplex gives Regal the TV Title.

Rating: B-. This was incredibly technical which makes things rather boring. That being said it’s still very good as both guys worked incredibly well of course. The fans hated it though which is a problem as an opener is supposed to make a crowd get into a show. Good stuff though, but 17 minutes was probably too long here.

Regal would hold the title for a LONG time until Larry Zbyszko of all people took the title in 1994. Here’s the rematch from Clash of the Champions XXVII.

TV Title: Larry Zbyszko vs. Lord Steven Regal

There’s a nice story here as Regal spent weeks bragging about how great he was until Zbyszko came out of retirement to show he could hang with the Englishman. Larry won the title from Regal about a month ago and Regal wants the belt back. Why he’s coming to the ring in a powdered wig and coat circa 1776 is anyone’s guess.

After disrobing and de-wigging, Regal hides in the corner like a true cowardly heel. Larry finally charges in but gets knocked down to give the challenger control. Some uppercuts and slaps to the face make Larry mad as Tony actually brings up the Western States Heritage Championship which Larry held for a few months back in the late 80s.

Zbyszko throws Regal over the top and out to the ramp. Back inside Larry counters a butterfly suplex into a backdrop for two and a piledriver gets the same. Regal kicks out of a swinging neckbreaker so Larry pummels him up against the ropes. Slugging it out is fine with Regal as he drops Larry with an uppercut and puts on a chinlock.

Regal only gets two off a cover as Larry counters with a bodyscissors of all things. The hold is broken and Regal hits a double knee to the face followed by a headbutt to send Larry into the corner. Zbyszko comes back with a bearhug into a Boston crab but Regal kicks him forward into a rollup and grabs the rope for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. This was a very different style than you would see most of the time in wrestling at this point. Larry was able to hang with Regal in that kind of wrestling and the match was an interesting technical display with some very nice counters. Regal continues his trend of wrestling for the majority of the match before cheating to win.

Since I’m sure you’re getting sick of hearing about the TV Title over and over again, here’s a tag team match from Clash of the Champions XXXII with Regal’s partner Sir Robert Eaton of the Blue Bloods.

Tag Team Titles: Sting/Lex Luger vs. Blue Bloods

The challengers are Lord Steven Regal and Earl Robert Eaton, which is Bobby Eaton now as a nobleman. Sting and Regal start things off and we get our first contact after a minute of posing. Regal cranks on the arm to start but gets dropkicked into the corner. Sting says bring it on before it’s off to Eaton vs. Luger. Lex is sent to the floor but Eaton walks into a backdrop on the concrete. Back inside and Luger poses, sending Eaton to the corner for a tag.

Luger slaps Regal in the face and says bring it on. Regal is tentative but sends Luger into the corner for some European uppercuts before tagging Eaton in again. A jawbreaker puts Luger down but it staggers Eaton enough that he has to tag Regal only a few seconds later. The Blue Bloods start double teaming Lex and Eaton nails his top rope knee drop.

Regal puts on his self named Stretch but Sting makes a quick save. Eaton goes up top but gets caught in a weak powerslam from Luger and they collide with each other. The hot tag brings in Sting, who knocks Eaton off the top and into Regal, setting up the Deathlock for the submission from the Earl.

Rating: C+. Just a nice little title defense here against an acceptable pair of challengers. Sting and Luger clearly weren’t going to lose the belts the night after winning them, but it was a nice performance by Eaton and Regal. It’s a good idea to have hands like the Blue Bloods around to put on a solid match and they helped do that here.

That’s enough time out of the comfort zone. Regal lost the TV Title to the worthless Prince Iaukea in 1997, so here’s his chance to get it back from new champion Ultimo Dragon at Slamboree of that year.

TV Title: Steven Regal vs. Ultimo Dragon

Regal is challenging. Dragon goes to a wristlock and manages to stop Regal’s usual counter to it and hooks an armbar. Test of strength goes on with Regal taking him down but Dragon pops right back up. They go to the corner and Dragon does his stand on his head in the corner deal. Why does no one ever hit him while he does that? I get the real life reason that he might die, but in kayfabe why not hit him?

Back on the mat Dragon fires off some kicks and hooks a half crab. Regal makes the rope and fires off some kicks of his own to send the champion to the floor. Back in a suplex gets two for Regal. They trade full nelsons and Dragon gets a sunset flip for two. Regal Stretch is avoided and Dragon is all fired up now for some reason. They get into a chain wrestling match and Regal is in his element. Regal tries the Stretch again but Dragon grabs his own mask to block it.

Since the Stretch won’t go on it’s time for the bow and arrow/surfboard (Dusty and Tenay call it either or) but Dragon escapes and fires a kick to the back. Here’s the bridging Indian Deathlock and the fans chant for Regal. Dragon switches to a camel clutch and it turns into a brawl. Dragon dropkicks him to the floor and Sonny fires off some kicks. Those get him yelled at by the champ so Dragon sends Regal back in and hits a top rope rana for two.

Regal tries the Stretch again but Dragon makes the ropes. The fans are firmly behind Regal now which is strange as this is heel vs. heel and Dragon has been the good guy by default. Both guys try rollups for two but Dragon takes over with a spinwheel kick. Tiger suplex is countered but Dragon sends Regal to the floor. Asai Moonsault hits and Sonny adds in some more kicks. Dragon stops him so Sonny kicks Dragon, allowing Regal to take over. In the ring a reverse suplex sets up the Regal Stretch and we have a new champion.

Rating: B. This was getting really good at the end and was still good when Sonny got involved. Was there ever a more useless manager now named Paul Jones? Really good opener here as they were beating the tar out of each other. Dragon would get the title back in a little over two months.

Regal would get fired over a match with Goldberg on Nitro, sending him over to the WWF for awhile. Here’s his first mtch on June 29, 1998’s Raw.

Darren Drozdov vs. Steven Regal

Sable introduces Regal, who sadly enough is just Steven Regal, British guy. I hadn’t realized it yet but Lawler is now on commentary both hours. Sable sits in on commentary. Droz hammers away on Regal who does his usual shouting. We’re on a split screen of the match and Sable, so at least there’s something to look at. JR keeps asking Sable about her relationship with Vince and all that and she can’t comment. Regal hooks a chinlock and pounds away on Droz. Droz makes a comeback and goes up. Regal suplexes him off the top and the Regal Stretch ends this boring match.

Rating: D-. I can see why Regal was sent down to Dory Funk’s training center for some more work. He hurt his ankle there though and later broke his leg so he didn’t have another match on WWF TV until around Halloween. That’s good too because this was really pretty boring stuff.

Regal’s injury plus not being a WWF guy for the most part would put him back in WCW in summer of 1999. That went NOWHERE as he was basically a jobber to the stars for his entire time there. Instead, we’ll jump ahead to March 2000 where Regal performed on the 3rd Annual Brian Pillman Memorial Show.

Chris Benoit vs. Steven Regal

That would of course be William Regal and this is the only reason to watch this show. Benoit has only been in the WWF about four months at this point so he’s still a big deal. Feeling out process to start with Benoit taking him into the corner and firing off right hands. Chris cranks on the arm a bit and Regal can’t roll free. Instead he grabs a wristlock of his own and cranks on the Canadian’s arm as we’re still in the technical portion of the match.

They go to a test of strength grip with Benoit on the mat and Regal drops a hard knee to the chest. They keep the grip and Benoit nips up before headbutting Regal away. A hard dropkick and an enziguri send Regal to the floor but he avoids a baseball slide and kicks Benoit in the face. They head to the apron with Chris DDTing him down onto the edge of the ring.

Back in and Benoit suplexes him down for two but Regal trips him up and cranks on a chinlock while laying on Benoit’s back. Think an STF minus the leg lock. Benoit makes it over to the ropes for the break so Regal dropkicks him down for no cover. Regal hooks a seated surfboard stretch but reaches up to hook a dragon sleeper at the same time. I haven’t used this in awhile but FREAKING OW MAN!

Benoit elbows out of it and chops the tar out of Regal but Steven kicks him in the chest to put him back down. Back up and Benoit tries to roll some Germans but Regal elbows his way out. Regal tries a butterfly suplex but Benoit is all like “YOU DARE FIGHT MY SUPLEXES???” and hits another German. Benoit can’t follow up though and Regal takes him to the top for a butterfly superplex for two.

Regal is sent into the corner but they ram heads, giving Benoit two. Regal may be busted open. A pair of rollups only get two on Benoit so Regal fires off even more forearms. Benoit counters a tombstone into one of his own but the Swan Dive misses. Back up again and a dragon suplex gets two for Benoit but the Crossface ends Regal a second later.

Rating: A-. This match got Regal a job in the WWF and it’s not hard to see why. This was a very physical match with both guys looking great out there. Until this point, Regal has mainly been known as the blue blood who could have good matches at times but would usually be there as a jobber. REALLY good match here and worth seeing if you’ve never seen it. I believe it’s on Benoit’s DVD.

Regal would get the European Title pretty quickly upon arrival and defend it at No Mercy 2000.

European Title: William Regal vs. Naked Mideon

That’s his official name mind you. It’s not some random nickname I gave him. Basically he wrestles in a thong and a fanny pack. He comes out in regular clothes but tries to rip them off during the match. Apparently he’s trying to get naked, making him the Kelly Kelly from the old ECW days of this generation. Mideon keeps wanting to take his clothes off but just doesn’t for some reason.

Lawler says he’s a great chain wrestler. He can beat any chain you put him up against. Eh half a point for a decent line. Pretty much total dominance by Regal here. Mideon gets his shirt off and continuously pulls his pants up. Wouldn’t that be against his character in theory? Crowd is DEAD here mind you. And there go the pants. Regal sets for the Stretch but thinks twice about it. A neckbreaker ends it.

Rating: D-. Totally pointless match where nothing of note happened and the comedy didn’t exist. Mideon was hardly a character that was ever going to really do anywhere and I have no idea what the point of this being on the show was. This was a waste of time but I guess it bridges the gap between the big matches.

Regal would soon enter his biggest feud in WWE to date, as he became Commissioner but was opposed by Chris Jericho. This led to a showdown in the opening match at Wrestlemania X7.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. William Regal

Jericho is defending and this is a result of him not liking Commissioner Regal’s regime. Basically he thinks Regal is boring and therefore relieved himself in Regal’s teapot. Regal responded by having the RTC and the Dudleys beat up Jericho on various nights. Jericho came back by dressing up by Doink for no apparent reason and putting Regal in the Walls of Jericho.

Regal pounds away to start but Jericho forearms him out to the floor. There’s a big dive by the champion to take Regal down before he drops Sweet Willy B on the barricade. Back inside and a jumping back elbow off the top puts Regal down again before they head to the mat. Jericho tries for the Walls but Regal escapes and sends the still injured shoulder (from the aforementioned beatdowns) of Jericho into the post. A quick suplex gets two for Regal and it’s back to the arm.

Jericho comes back with an elbow but Regal takes him down with a rollup for two more. Another suplex puts Jericho down again but Regal can’t keep him down. The fans start cheering for Jericho as Regal takes off a turnbuckle pad. The referee is ok with this for some reason as Jericho’s shoulder goes into the steel. Jericho comes back with a pair of enziguris before a middle rope missile dropkick gets two.

Jericho misses a charge in the corner and nearly hits the post head first. In a surprising move, Regal goes up top for a butterfly superplex which gets a delayed two. Jericho trips the legs and tries the Walls again but the shoulder gives out, allowing Regal to hook the Regal Stretch (STF with a half nelson) but Jericho makes the rope. Jericho fights back again but gets kicked in the shoulder, only to send Regal into the exposed buckle and hit the Lionsault to retain. That was a really sudden ending and JR sounded surprised so maybe it was called on the fly.

Rating: B-. This was exactly what an opener was supposed to be: fast paced, hard hitting and it told a good story. They beat on each other for seven minutes straight with nothing of note looking bad. The idea of the shoulder injury was a perfectly fine story to keep the match going and the Regal Stretch worked for a climax. This was a really good opener and it hit every point it was supposed to hit.

Regal would join the Alliance during the Invasion and face Tajiri at Survivor Series 2001.

William Regal vs. Tajiri

Regal hurt Tajiri’s girlfriend Torrie on Smackdown to set this up. Also these two used to be friends. Tajiri is Cruiserweight Champion and was supposed to face X-Pac in a title for title match, but according to Commissioner Mick Foley, “No one cared about X-Pac or the Light Heavyweight Title anyway”. Tajiri fires off a kick but gets suplexed right back down.

The knee trembler takes Tajiri down but Tajiri goes after Regal’s knee with the kicks. There’s the Tarantula and Regal is bleeding from the nose. A handspring elbow gets two for Tajiri but Regal ties his head up in the ropes to stop the momentum dead. Regal tries a powerbomb but gets countered by another kick to the head. The Buzzsaw Kick misses and there’s the Tiger Bomb from Regal for the pin. Too short to rate but it was fine. Short, but fine.

After the Alliance was vanquished, Regal would start a feud with Edge and challenge him for the Intercontinental Title at Royal Rumble 2002.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. William Regal

Edge is defending. The referee checks Regal over and over again for knuckles and finds them in his trunks. Well you can’t say he didn’t do his job. The referee stupidly puts them on the ring post instead of like, giving them to someone to take to the back or something. Edge pounds away to start and chokes with his boot in the corner. He goes after Regal’s bad nose as Lawler claims conspiracy.

Regal comes back with a clothesline but Edge kicks him in the back to put both guys down. Being the British dude that he is, Regal suplexes Edge down for two. Make that four. Uh six. Yet somehow that isn’t three. Off to an arm trap chinlock followed by a hard forearm to put the champion down again. A double arm powerbomb hits Edge for two and they head to the apron. Edge busts out a DDT onto said apron, further injuring Regal’s nose.

Back in and they ram heads to put both guys down as the match continues to drag at a slow pace. Edge wins a slugout and takes Regal down with a spinwheel kick and a suplex for two. Regal suplexes him down as well, only for Edge to hit a big old clothesline for two more. The Regal Stretch goes on out of nowhere but Edge reverses into a terrible version of his own to no avail. A top rope spinwheel kick puts Regal down but he finds another set of brass knuckles. Instead of swinging them though, he pulls the referee in the way of Edge’s spear. Regal clocks Edge and wins the title.

Rating: D+. This didn’t click at all. Regal didn’t seem interested in selling at all and Edge wasn’t ready to carry a match by himself yet. He was getting to the point where he could but it would take a summer of feuding with Eddie to get him up to that point. Regal wouldn’t really do anything with the belt other than lose it to RVD. Nothing to see here.

Regal would join up with Test and Lance Storm as part of the Un-Americans in a mostly bad angle. Regal and Storm would become a regular team, including this match from Raw on October 21, 2002.

Lance Storm/William Regal vs. Bubba Ray Dudley/Spike Dudley

The winners get a title shot against whoever the champions are now. Apparently it’s Christian/Jericho. Storm runs down American before the match. Spike vs. Storm to start things off with the smaller dude taking over quickly. The fans want tables but other than that things are mostly silent. We’ve lost commentary for some reason and by the time that sentence is finished JR is back.

Off to Bubba who takes Lance down with a neckbreaker but Regal hits Bubba in the back of his recently concussed head to give Storm the advantage. Regal comes in as Kane arrives in the back. Everything breaks down and Spike ranas Storm off the top. Bubba catches the superkick from Storm and hits the Bubba Bomb. Spoke hits the Dudley Dog on Regal for the win and the title shot.

Rating: C-. This was one of those matches that was too short to go anywhere of note. Regal and Storm as the Unamericans were a solid team but the gimmick was only going to go so far, especially with Test weighing them down as their third man. Nothing to see here and thankfully D-Von would reunite with Bubba the next month.

They would receive a shot at the belts on Raw, January 6, 2003.

Raw Tag Titles: Lance Storm/William Regal vs. Goldust/Booker T

Goldie and Booker are defending. Booker and Storm start things off with the champion slamming him down and dropping a knee for no cover. Off to Goldie for a forearm off the top but Storm hits him in the face to bring in Regal. Goldust shoulders him down as Bischoff is watching in the back. Back to Booker for more punches in the corner until Storm makes the save.

We hit a chinlock as the match is already going nowhere. A running knee to the side of Booker’s head allows Storm to come in for a cravate. Booker finally fights out and kicks Lance down, allowing for the not hot tag to Goldust. House is cleaned and a powerslam gets two on Storm. Everything breaks down and Goldust takes both guys down. Storm gets caught in a modified Hart Attack but Regal takes the referee out.

The champs and referee are both out on the floor and we take a break. Back with Storm kicking a charging Booker in the face. During the break Chief Morely took over as guest referee. Storm accidentally superkicks said guest referee but there’s no one to count. The third referee runs in to count two on Storm after a Booker spinebuster. Off to Goldust for his hard slaps in the corner but the challengers bail to the floor.

Goldie charges after Storm and runs into a clothesline from Regal. This match continues to be dull stuff. Regal pounds away on Goldust a bit more until it’s off to Storm for another chinlock. This one doesn’t last long and it’s off to Booker for hopefully the last hot tag of the night. Mr. T. cleans house and there’s a Spinarooni followed by an ax kick for two on Storm. Morely pulls the third referee out of the ring and a brass knuckles shot from Regal knocks out Booker for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. It was long, but MAN was this boring. At the end of the day it was pretty clear that the titles were going to change here due to the odds and Bischoff needing to dominate the entire show, which makes it even worse. As usual, a team loses in a joke last week and wins the titles the next week. Also, how overbooked was this match? Nothing to see here.

Regal would miss over a year and a half due to a heart condition so we’ll skip ahead to February 7, 2005 with Raw in Japan. Given who is in the match, you can figure it out for yourself.

Raw Tag Titles: William Regal/Tajiri vs. La Resistance

Gee I wonder what’s going to happen. Conway and Grenier are defending here. The place ERUPTS for Tajiri who is all fired up here. Regal and Eugene were champions but Eugene is injured so Regal picked Tajiri as his new partner. Massive Tajiri chant starts up so Regal starts off with Conway. Regal Stretch goes on but it’s off to Tajiri who adds the low dropkick as the offense is on.

Regal plays Ricky Morton for a bit here despite getting some shots in to try to break the momentum. The fans chant something but it’s in Japanese. Grenier punches Tajiri so when Regal takes him down there’s no one to tag. STF is broken up quickly and there’s the hot tag to Tajiri who cleans house. Let the kicks begin! Enziguri hits Grenier for two as everything breaks down. Double handspring elbow takes out the French dudes and it’s Tarantula time. Regal takes Conway down and there’s the Green Mist and a Buzzsaw kick gives us new champions.

Rating: C+. The match totally doesn’t matter and is rated too high, but this is about giving the fans something to erupt for and that’s exactly what they did here. Tajiri and Regal would hold the belts about three months so this wasn’t just a fluke title reign. No problem at all with this and while it’s not great or anything, it was perfectly done as it made Tajiri look like a star.

Since this is getting WAY too long already, we’re going to skip over the rest of 2005 and pick things up in 2006 when Regal is a replacement opponent for the US Title at Great American Bash.

US Title: Finlay vs. William Regal

JBL goes on a hilarious rant before the match. “LIVER ENZYMES??? AS MUCH AS I’VE DRANK I’M LUCKY TO HAVE A LIVER!!! MY LIVER LOOKS LIKE JAKE ROBERTS’ AND MY LIVER ENZYMES HAVE NEVER BEEN HIGH!” I’m having issues having Cole as a neutral commentator. Regal is worried about Horny (not yet named) interfering. Regal goes a-leprechaun hunting and before the match starts.

Regal says he’ll just leave but Finlay tries to roll him up anyway. They lock up and go all the way to the floor without breaking it. They walk around and back up the steps and into the ring without breaking that lockup. Regal grabs a single leg and works the leg but that gets him nowhere. Regal throws him to the floor and here’s Horny! He pops Regal in the leg and JBL freaks out. “I want one for Christmas!”

Regal loses track of him and stands on the steps instead of, you know, GETTING IN THE RING. Horny sneaks up on him and Regal nearly jumps out of his skin. Back in Finlay gets a clothesline for two and it’s off to a nerve hold. This heel vs. heel thing is only kind of working so they’re going for comedy. JBL gives us a European soccer lesson as Finlay takes over. Regal gets in some kicks and a butterfly suplex for two.

Horny is back! He bites the fingers of Regal and Regal has to rake the eyes of the tiny leprechaun to escape. Back in and Finlay takes over, working on the hand. Regal gets in a shot to the leg to break the momentum. This is a highly technical match to go with the comedy which is an interesting mix. Regal hooks a chinlock but Finlay fights out with some shots to the ribs.

Back to the floor and you can hear them hitting each other incredibly hard. This was the same thing they did back at Uncensored 96, although this is a more entertaining match. Now Finlay hooks the chinlock. Regal throws him into the corner and they ram heads. In a great old school heel move, Regal drops to a knee, putting his leg on Finlay’s throat, while he talks to the referee. Exploder suplex puts Finlay down and there’s a knee drop for two.

The fans call this boring. I call them uncultured slobs. This is a European style match and it’s entertaining to see a different perspective. Regal runs off the apron and gets crotched on the apron skirt. Finlay hammers him back into the ring and takes Regal’s shoe off. It’s possible Horny stole it. Finlay misses a charge and hits the post. The fans are loudly booing now. Regal gets the Irish club that I can’t spell. Horny slips Finlay Regal’s boot though and a shot with that is enough for the pin to keep the title on Finlay.

Rating: C-. I’m going to be in the fairly extreme minority here but I enjoyed this. The technical aspect of it is really good but the comedy stuff is going to be very hit or miss. To be fair though, this was a hard one to work out as the styles really clashed. I was entertained by it though and that’s the point of this.

Regal would hook up with his old partner Dave Taylor as a heel team on Smackdown, with the two eventually getting a Tag Team Title shot at Armageddon 2006.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Dave Taylor/William Regal

Londrick are champions here. Before the match gets started here’s Teddy. He makes this a ladder match so here are some ladders. Regal FREAKS but Teddy isn’t done. He adds two more teams to make it a fatal fourway title match.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Daven Taylor/William Regal vs. MNM vs. The Hardys

MNM lost the titles to Londrick and are returning here since Nitro (Morrison) is on Raw. The Hardys are also on Raw but who cares? Jeff is IC Champion and they’re not Boys anymore. The crowd is WAY behind the Hardys. The heels are sent to the floor so it’s Londrick vs. the legends. Matt and London take over but Kendrick and Jeff come back. Spin Cycle takes out London and appropriately enough the Brits come back in.

Matt and I think Nitro pick up ladders and the fight goes to the floor. The Hardys come down the aisle with ladders as Regal and Taylor try to keep them out. Just about everyone is back in now and there’s a pair of ladders. Poetry in Motion hits Regal and Taylor takes a Snapshot. Double superkick puts Regal down again and things slow down a bit.

The champs and the Hardys go at it, including Matt throwing Kendrick into a ladder HARD. Jeff goes up but London makes the save. London goes up but the Hardys save. Nitro tried a springboard move to take him out but the ladder was already down so the spot landing looked sick. Mercury is almost up there but London/Kendrick/Hardys pick up the ladder and shove Mercury over the top onto Nitro.

Poetry in Motion is attempted but London moves and Jeff crashes into the ladder. With everyone down, Kendrick makes a run but Matt saves. Neckbreaker puts Kendrick down and London hits a suplex on Regal outside. Matt gets put on a ladder leaned against the ropes so Kendrick hits a double stomp to the ribs.

Now we get to the famous part of this match. MNM sets up a see-saw thing using a pair of ladders. They put Jeff on the top and set for a double suplex but Matt makes the save. Jeff dives off and the ladder is slammed into Mercury’s face, absolutely destroying his nose. I’ve never seen more blood so fast. His nose was shattered and he would be out for a few weeks and would need 20 stitches.

Due to the injury it’s now a seven man match with the Brits in control. Half nelson release suplex sends London into the ladder. Taylor holds the ladder and Regal goes up but comes down due to fear. Taylor goes up instead but Kendrick comes in for the save. Mercury is already on his way to the hospital. Matt comes back in and hits a Twist of Fate to Taylor. Jeff sets up a ladder on the floor and tries to dive into the ring but Nitro hits a baseball slide to take out the ladder, sending Jeff’s throat into the ropes.

Nitro rides a ladder down onto Regal as a ladder is set up in the ring. Kendrick makes a save and takes Nitro down again. Matt throws Kendrick off the ladder and London has to make the save. Matt backdrops London off but the ladder falls. Jeff vs. Nitro on a ladder now and Jeff gets a big old sunset bomb and the Brits are back. They take everyone down and up they go.

Kendrick gets up there and pounds away on Regal but Taylor pulls him down again. Everyone is down and London starts crawling for the ladders. Matt is up again and goes for the same ladder. There are two ladders next to each other. Matt gets knocked down and London pulls the titles down to retain after a war.

Rating: B+. I wanted to give it an A- but it just didn’t feel right. It’s an excellent match and a great four way ladder match, despite it becoming a three and a half way part of the way through it. Londrick gets a big win here which they need and the fans get all fired up. Definitely the best match of the night (seriously, can you imagine something topping it later?) but it didn’t hit that level of the TLC matches.

Regal again wouldn’t do much for most of 2007 but would become Raw GM late in the year. He would enter the King of the Ring in April 2008 and make it to the finals.

King of the Ring Finals: William Regal vs. CM Punk

Punk comes in with bad ribs because of the matches earlier. Regal is basically in his second match after the Horny match and beating an injured Finlay. Punk starts off fast with some kicks in the corner. He tries the bulldog but gets suplexed down and it’s off to a bow and arrow hold. Punk fights up from that and hits a spinning kick to the knee.

Regal grabs the arms and forces him right back down to the mat as is his custom. The idea is that it’s strikes vs. grapples which is about as natural as you’re going to get with these two. Punk fights up again and hits a BIG kick to the head to stagger Regal. Spinning backfist sets up the high kick for two. That sounded great. Punk loads up the GTS but Regal grabs the rope. He escapes and hits the knee trembler, followed by the Stretch. Punk hangs on for almost thirty seconds but finally has to tap to give Regal the tournament.

Rating: C-. This was too short to mean much but it gave Regal some more psychosis to work with which was a really entertaining time. Then it just stopped cold because it was getting too good and that’s how WWE works. Punk giving up because of the rib injury is ok because Regal didn’t win fairly (coming in at a big advantage), which is fine.

Regal would be Wellnessed off TV and allegedly out of a World Title reign. He would win the Intercontinental Title from Santino Marella in a squash in November before losing the title to CM Punk in a mostly forgettable feud. Regal would get a chance at the US Title at Extreme Rules 2009.

US Title: Kofi Kingston vs. MVP vs. William Regal vs. Matt Hardy

Well this is random. Kofi won the title 6 days ago from MVP. He beat Hardy and Regal for the title shot in the first place. This is an extreme gimmick? Sure why not. MVP is a face here…I think. Yeah he is. Regal has been hitting on Vickie to get into this. Matt gets a rather solid pop. He’s heel here which is just odd to type.

Oh and Matt still has a broken hand from Mania. MVP is the same thing that he is today. That’s all you need to know about him: he hasn’t changed a bit in a year. Regal hasn’t either but he’s more or less a jobber now so it’s not like it matters that much. Kofi hits a dive to take out every American in this match.

Then he takes out the British guy as well. It’s your usual insanity for one of these matches as we get rotating one on one matches. That works fine I think as it’s really the only way you can do these without insane choreography before it starts. Regal gets solid heel heat. He’s just so easy to hate.

Everybody but Matt gets in a Tower of Doom spot so Matt dives on them all but of course it doesn’t work. Also his hand seems to be just fine all of a sudden. For some reason I love that leg drop that Matt does from the middle rope. It’s not like there’s anything really special about it or anything.

Kofi hits a Boom Drop on Regal who is on top of Matt in a decent spot. Kofi hits that pendulum kick that seemingly every midcard face hits now. I was wrong about MVP not changing anything in a year. Now he is even worse at his belly to belly overhead suplexes. Ballin hits on Matt as we’re very close to the end. You can feel it.

Regal beats up everyone but Kofi bounces off the top rope and hits a kick to the head which is called Trouble in Paradise for the pin to retain. It looked like a one footed dropkick but whatever.

Rating: D+. Not bad I guess, but WAY too short. This wasn’t even seven minutes long and it was just kind of a mess. It’s certainly not a bad match or anything like that, but it just felt thrown together and like it was there to kill time. That’s never a good sign. Kofi’s reign is about as forgettable as you could ask one to be also.

It would be off to the ECW roster soon after this where Regal would become the top heel. After losing to Christian in 8 seconds at Summerslam, Regal would get a longer ECW Title shot at Breaking Point.

ECW Championship: Christian vs. William Regal

This is 5 days after the ECW is Leaving announcement was made so there we are. Naturally Christian gets a huge pop being the Canadian. The monsters are sent to the back. This is more of a technical match which is what Regal is a master of. This is an intense match if nothing else. The fans are as into this as they’ve been into anything all night long. Regal avoids the Killswitch three times and then gets it on the fourth. Well that was abrupt. Somehow this was ten minutes long.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t much at all. It could have been a main event on any ECW TV show and it wouldn’t have been anything special at all. This was pretty weak and as mentioned, the announcement that the brand was folding didn’t do much good for the interest level in this match.

Regal would go into semi-retirement after this and only wrestler a few matches a year. We’ll jump ahead to 2013 where Regal is an NXT commentator but Kassius Ohno is tormenting him. They would have a showdown on April 10, 2013.

Kassius Ohno vs. William Regal

They lock up to start with Regal shoving Ohno back. Brad’s stupid joke of the week is to call Dawson Jerry every few moments. Back to the lockup until Regal takes over with an armbar. Ohno is taken to the mat by the arm as Regal cranks away even more. Now it’s a hammerlock and after a drop toehold Ohno still can’t get back up. Regal lets him back up and Ohno grabs a wristlock, only to be easily sent into the corner and stomped down by the old villain.

A forearm puts Ohno down as this has been one sided so far. Ohno finally gets in a shot to the ribs to send Regal to the floor. A baseball slide puts Regal into the barricade and we take a break. Back with Kassius getting two off something we didn’t see and firing off some HARD kicks in the corner to Regal’s head. Now it’s a full nelson to stay on the neck and upper body of Regal. William uses a nice counter to escape and stomps on Kassius’ fingers for good measure. He bends them back around the ropes as momentum changes again.

Regal stays on the arm and hand and drives some knees into Ohno’s face. Ohno comes back with a hard kick to the head to take Regal down as the ear is hurt even more. Another kick crushes Regal’s head against the post but Ohno can’t hook his cravate hold. Kassius kicks Regal again for two but he still can’t hook the Kassius Clutch. Off to a quick chinlock instead but Regal rolls out and hits a quick exploder suplex. His balance is WAY off though so he can’t hook the Regal Stretch.

A belly to back suplex puts Regal on his head again for two more and Kassius is getting frustrated. William is getting all fired up and gets to his feet, only to have his head kicked off for two. Ohno loads up the rolling elbow but Regal nails him in the ribs to set up the Knee Trembler for the pin at 14:06 shown of 17:36.

Rating: B+. This was a match based on emotion and the injury to Regal which worked very well. The story of teacher vs. student is one that always works and it did the job again here. The good thing here is that Regal didn’t look dominant at all at the end, which keeps Ohno from looking weak. Really good and physical match here with a solid story throughout.

The same thing happened later in the year, but with Cesaro instead of Ohno. From Christmas Day, 2013.

Antonio Cesaro vs. William Regal

The Fink is doing entrances, which gives me an answer to the question I just asked. The disgusted yet also terrified look on Regal’s face is perfect. Cesaro cranks on the arm to start and Regal can’t counter. Antonio takes him to the mat but Regal nips up to draw a gasp from the crowd. Cesaro stays on the hold and takes Regal down again but there’s another nip up. “You still got it!”

Regal takes Cesaro down to his knees but still can’t get away from the wrist control as we take a break. Back with Cesaro still on the arm and jumping onto a standing Regal’s shoulders (basically putting himself in a fireman’s carry) to apply even more pressure. Regal flips him down into an armbar but Cesaro nips up just like Regal did earlier. William takes him down by the other arm but Cesaro powers up into a test of strength.

Cesaro easily powers Regal down but the Englishman counters into a cross arm choke. He leans backwards to put Cesaro over his knees while still choking, only to be flipped forward to escape. Back to the test of strength before Regal counters a front facelock into a dragon sleeper. Cesaro flips him forward in a kind of reverse suplex for two but Regal gets him down into the corner and does his “distract the referee while kicking the opponent in the face” spot.

Antonio chop blocks Regal down and rams the bad knee into the apron a few times as we take another break. Back with Cesaro holding a leg lock but Regal keeps fighting back with kicks to the head. Cesaro keeps control by cranking on the knee even more and taking off Regal’s knee brace. The knee is bent around Cesaro’s neck in an old Brock Lock but Regal counters into a rollup and backslide for two each. Cesaro hits a series of ten uppercuts to knock Regal silly, setting up the Cesaro Swing.

After some trash talk Antonio loads up the Neutralizer but Regal backdrops his way out. He drops a knee on Cesaro’s arm to take away the Neutralizer. Regal goes after the arm with everything he’s got and hits an overhead suplex for two. The knee is too damaged for the knee trembler though and Cesaro comes back with a headbutt. Regal is fine with that and headbutts Cesaro right back before loading up a double underhook suplex. Cesaro backdrops Regal but can’t break the grip.

Regal takes him to the mat again and tries the Regal Stretch but Cesaro makes the rope. A forearm from the good arm lays Regal out and a double stomp to the back of the head has the referee checking him. Cesaro looks down at Regal before picking up his limp body. He sets up the Neutralizer but thinks twice about it and lets Regal fall back to the mat. Regal tries to pull himself up so Cesaro puts on the Neutralizer. He looks down at Regal’s unconscious body and looks disgusted after pinning Regal at 16:00 shown of 24:00.

Rating: A. I loved this for a lot of reasons. First of all, the technical stuff at the beginning was excellent with two old school craftsmen doing their jobs as well as anyone can. It’s wrestling in its purest form and when you have guys who can work that style it’s as entertaining as you can get. Then there’s the excellent storytelling with Regal trying every trick he knew but not being able to stop Cesaro’s raw power. The ending with Cesaro not wanting to hurt Regal anymore but giving in to his natural instincts of winning at any cost was great stuff. I loved this match and continue to wait for Cesaro to be taken seriously in WWE.

William Regal is the definition of an old time wrestler. He can wrestle any style and make you HATE him with relative ease. No he wasn’t ever the top guy, but he’s forgotten more about wrestling than almost anyone else can ever learn. Regal will be a trainer or commentator for as long as he wants and a lot of fans will be very lucky to see his students on WWE TV.

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Wrestler of the Day – March 15: Iron Sheik

AH! Today Wrestler of the Day #1! All other Wrestler of the Day! Bah phooey! It’s Iron Sheik.

Sheik was born in Iran and was an Olympic wrestler as well as a guard for the Shah of Iran. He would head to America and become a professional wrestler under the tutelage of Verne Gagne. Sheik started as Great Hossein Arab and did some stuff for the WWF back in the 70s. Here he is challenging for a Japanese title in Madison Square Garden on December 17, 1979.

NWF Title: Antonio Inoki vs. Great Hossein

This is like the Japanese tag titles earlier with the NWF Title being the primary title for NJPW in the early days. Hossein is more commonly known as the Iron Sheik and I’ll be referring to him as such here out of instinct. Sheik does his anti-American thing which is more or less verbatim as to what he would use in his more famous character. Inoki is completely dominating here as Sheik can’t even land a punch or anything close to it.

Inoki throws on the weakest armbar I can remember in a long time and Sheik gets his first offense in with a slam that gets him absolutely nowhere. He throws on a leg lock but Vince says this isn’t s submission hold for no apparent reason. Holy crap the heel is taking over a bit, albeit with incredibly generic offense. The fans think Iran sucks.

Well that offense didn’t last long as here comes Inoki again. Sheik actually hits a dropkick and not a bad one at that. He goes for an abdominal stretch which looks like some screwed up way of trying to humble Inoki. I’ve always wondered about that and why he’s so obsessed with the idea of it. Vince says this has been even which is ridiculous but whatever. Inoki gets a nice sunset flip into a modified Sharpshooter in a nice combination.

Inoki tries to take the boot off of Sheik because it might be loaded up. I never got this part of Sheik but whatever. He gets it off and Sheik is in a boot and a sock. The boot is loaded with something apparently. Inoki is busted open from a shot with it. And then the enziguri ends it. Sheik hits him with the boot again afterwards.

Rating: C-. Not horrible I guess but at fifteen minutes this was WAY too long. It was just a step away from being a squash which in a long title match is never a good thing at all. It’s cool seeing guys this famous when they weren’t incredibly well known yet though but dang fifteen minutes of them is just too much.

Here’s another match from the same arena soon thereafter, on January 21, 1980.

The Great Hossein Arab vs. Larry Zbyszko

Sheik would earn at shot at Bob Backlund’s WWF Title on the day after Christmas of 1984 in MSG.

The Iron Sheik is an Iranian wrestling champion who had a habit of swinging Persian clubs before his matches. He would often challenge his opponent to swing the clubs as well and Backlund was no exception. In doing so a few days before the match, Backlund had been jumped by the Sheik who injured Bob’s ribs and shoulder, putting him at a disadvantage coming into the match. Backlund is in a singlet here instead of his usual trunks. Sheik jumps the champion to start and chokes Backlund with the strap from Backlund’s singlet.

The challenger cranks on Backlund’s shoulder which apparently was hurt in the attack as well. Sheik is already dripping with sweat only a minute and a half into the match. Backlund sends him into the ropes but gets shouldered down for his efforts. Back to the armbar for a LONG time before it’s off to a bow and arrow to mix things up a bit. Backlund finally kicks him off and hits a headbutt to the ribs followed by a headknocker. A kind of swinging neckbreaker by Bob puts both guys down.

Sheik hooks an abdominal stretch on the mat which transitions into a surfboard hold. Backlund fights back with a right hand but the ribs are hurting him a lot. A kick to Sheik’s head staggers him a bit but Backlund can’t slam him. Sheik hooks the arms again and drives a knee into the champion’s back to keep Bob in trouble again. The hold stays on for a good while with all of Backlund’s attempts at countering falling short.

Sheik takes it to the mat to no avail but Backlund can’t hook a backslide. An elbow drop misses Backlund though but he can’t hook his rolling cradle. Sheik hooks his camel clutch out of nowhere and Backlund is in big trouble. After only a few seconds, Backlund’s manager Arnold Skaaland throws in the towel, which is the same as a submission and gives the Sheik the title.

Rating: D. This was a rather boring match with Backlund having almost no offense at all. This is just a step ahead of what is known in wrestling as a squash, with one guy getting in almost no offense whatsoever. Having the towel thrown in was a way to save Backlund’s status as a top man because he didn’t submit and the blame can be placed on Skaaland, who would be gone soon after this anyway.

Sheik shocked the world by winning the title. Here’s a rare title defense from January 21, 1984 in Philadelphia.

WWF World Title: Iron Sheik vs. Tito Santana

Santana is one of those guys that unfortunately I won’t get to talk about that much in here because he very rarely received title shots. One report I’ve seen said that this was one of only two world title shots he received in over ten years with the company and I can’t imagine it’s much higher than that. Given how talented he was in the ring (multiple time Intercontinental and Tag Team Champion as well as being in the WWE Hall of Fame), that’s rather surprising.

Tito jumps Sheik to start and clotheslines him with the Sheik’s own turban. Santana is a house of fire and knocks the Sheik to the floor with a clothesline. Back in and the champion is knocked straight to the floor by another atomic drop. The Sheik takes a walk for a bit before heading back inside for more punishment. Tito grabs a headlock to take the Sheik down to the mat where the champion is in trouble.

Sheik fights up but Tito easily switches over to a front facelock to keep control. Back to a headlock by Santana as Sheik is in big trouble. The Iron one fights up but gets taken down by a shoulder block. A hiptoss puts him down as well but Sheik goes to the eyes to take control for the first time. The champion pounds away at Santana’s head and neck but misses a running flip senton (basically a front flip attack) to give Santana a breather.

Tito grabs a suplex but dazes himself in the process. A splash hits the Sheik’s boots though and Tito is in trouble again. Sheik puts on an abdominal stretch but Tito quickly makes the rope. A clothesline puts Tito down for two but he comes back with a sunset flip for two of his own. Tito small packages him for two more before punching the champion in the face. A pair of dropkicks send Sheik to the floor so the champion picks up a chair. He slides it back inside but the referee stands on it so Sheik can’t use it. The champ shoves the referee down just as Tito hits his flying forearm finisher, earning a DQ in the process.

Rating: D+. This took time to get going but Santana was the right choice for a match like this. He knew how to time a comeback so that the crowd would respond best to it, making the chance at a title change seem like a real possibility. That’s where a guy like Tito was most valuable; he wasn’t likely to win the world title at any time in his career, but you could put him in a spot like this where you needed a challenger and get solid results out of him.

Then this happened two days later.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Iron Sheik

This is it. This is the match that changes EVERYTHING. Sheik beat Backlund only a month earlier and Backlund is too injured to get his rematch here, so Hulk gets the shot instead. The place goes NUTS for Hogan’s entrance for the first of many occasions. This is Hogan’s return to the Garden after about three years. After being bored all night, the place is going nuts just from hearing the beginning of Hogan’s entrance with “From Venice Beach, California.”

The bell rings and Hogan CHARGES at him in the corner before Sheik can even get his robe off. A clothesline with the robe takes down the champion and it’s all Hulk so far. Another big clothesline puts Sheik down before Hulk easily picks him up for a choke. Hulk, ever the hero, spits on Sheik to a huge ovation. Big boot gets two so Hulk hits a pair of elbows for two. Hulk FINALLY screws up by missing a running elbow in the corner and Sheik takes over.

The champion stomps away with those curled boots of his. I guess it’s a Middle East thing. A backbreaker puts Hogan down but he easily powers out at one. Off to a Boston Crab but Hulk powers out after about ten seconds. Sheik can’t get anything going here long term. A gutwrench suplex gets two for Sheik and puts on the camel clutch that won the title. Hulk casually wags his fingers no and he powers out of the hold in less than thirty seconds. Hogan picks Sheik up, rams him into the buckle, drops the big leg, and as Gorilla puts it, Hulkamania is here.

Rating: A+. This was exactly what it was supposed to be as Hogan squashed Sheik here, basically selling nothing and escaping Sheik’s best move before beating him in less than six minutes. Look at this card: even the opener was a minute longer than this match. Hogan DOMINATED the champion here and left no doubt about who was better. After this, everything became about flash than substance, and for people who complain about it, let it go already. The change is over and it’s never going back. Absolutely perfect here.

We’ll shift gears now and look at Sheik getting a rematch with Santana, this time for Tito’s Intercontinental Title. From February 18, 1984 in Philadelphia.

Intercontinental Title: Tito Santana vs. Iron Sheik

Tito is defending if that’s not clear. Sheik is immediately stalling on the floor before mixing it up by stalling in the ring. He easily takes Tito down a few times with some nice amateur moves before slamming the champion down on his back. Some hard shots to the back have Tito in trouble and Sheik yells a lot. Tito grabs a small package for two before kicking Sheik in the ribs a few times.

Sheik gets in a kick of his own and sticks his chest out to the crowd. Tito counters a suplex into one of his own but the champ can’t follow up. A camel clutch attempt is countered with right hands to the ribs but Sheik grabs a Boston crab. Tito powers out with a pushup and gets all fired up. The bald guy bows down in fear but Santana hammers away on him instead. A dropkick and airplane spin have the Sheik in trouble but they tumble out to the floor. They hammer away on each other until it’s a double countout.

Rating: C-. This was one of those matches that worked better for the live crowd than a TV one. Most of the match was spent with big gestures from the two of them and the people ate it up. Sheik was a great heel but without the camel clutch there was only so much that could be done here.

About a year later Sheik would hook up with Nikolai Volkoff in a tag team which should have been called the Iron Curtain. They fought the US Express at the first Wrestlemania for the Tag Team Titles.

Tag Titles: US Express vs. Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik

The Express is Barry Windham and Mike Rotundo and they’re defending tonight. A little trivia for you: the song Real American was originally used for the two of them but Hogan wound up using it instead. The heels do their whole Russian national anthem and Iran/Russia #1 deal before the match. Rotundo and Sheik start things off with the Iranian hooking a headlock. A dropkick puts Sheik down and Mike grabs a headlock.

Off to Barry who avoids double teaming and causes the challengers to collide. Back to Rotundo to work over Nikolai with an elbow drop getting two. Windham comes in off the top with a shot to the arm and Rotundo does the same thing. Sheik suplexes Mike down for two as the foreigners take over. Nikolai drops him throat first across the throat and the USA chant starts up.

A sunset flip gets a quick two for Mike but it’s back to Sheik for an abdominal stretch. That doesn’t last long though as Mike hiptosses out of it and it’s off to Barry via the hot tag. The bulldog (Barry’s finisher at the time) takes Volkoff out as everything breaks down. In the melee, Sheik hits Windham in the back with the cane for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C. This was a better match than we’ve seen so far with the fans getting way into the whole USA vs. foreigners thing. The title change was there only so something historic could happen and the Express got the belts back about two and a half months later. They would split soon after that with both guys heading to the NWA.

Sheik would also be in the first match ever on Saturday Night’s Main Event in a six man tag.

Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff/George Steele vs. Mike Rotunda/Barry Windham/Ricky Steamboat

That’s quite the face tag team. This was on the SNME DVD (greatDVD that should certainly be picked up if you can find it. Awesome stuff on it) as an extra. Blassie is with the heels and Albano is with the faces. The two foreigners had taken the tag titles from the US Express at Wrestlemania for a token tag title change.

About a year prior to this, the US Express had been using Real American for their theme music. That went to Hogan of course and here they use Born in the USA by Bruce Springsteen which works like a charm for them as it’s perfect. We start with Windham and Steele which is an odd matchup if there ever has been one.

Sheik was hitting the end of whatever usefulness that he had at this point. Rotundo would soon head to WCW and become a member of the Varsity Club, ending in an awesome moment with Rick Steiner taking the TV Title from him after months of being talked down to by him. Wow what a tangent that was.

Oh and he’s more commonly known as I.R.S. Oddly enough the faces dominate early on. We go to commercial with the faces dominating. We begin the awesome SNME tradition of not having action during commercials so we don’t have to be all confused about how we got to a point during a break.

Wow there are four hall of fame wrestlers in here and two on the floor. That’s rather impressive, especially considering that the two that aren’t in there are two of the three most talented. Steele comes in and his teammates abandon him, allowing Windham to get a quick rollup for the pin. Steele eats a turnbuckle and the tag champions beat him up. That doesn’t last long as Albano comes in to calm him down and Steele is a face.

Rating: C-. Eh this was fine. It wasn’t meant to be anything special other than a way to get Steele out of the dark side, but the heel offense consisted of about four Volkoff punches and other than that it was a complete squash. I don’t get why it was so one sided, but it did its job and wasn’t bad at all so for the first match in show history this was perfectly fine.

Another big deal in 1985 was the Wrestling Classic. Here’s Sheik’s first round match.

First Round: Junkyard Dog vs. Iron Sheik

I like JYD’s song. It’s just old school personified. Sheik jumps him as it’s still playing though, which in a bit of a comedic moment is how Sheik’s former partner lost earlier in the night. Sheik is freaking ripped. Somehow, Dog is more limited than Putski was earlier. He hits nothing but punches and headbutts. Eventually he goes down though and Sheik gets the clutch on him. Jesse says no one has ever gotten out of this. You know, other than Hogan in the match that changed wrestling forever but that didn’t mean as much as this did of course. It’s also the sloppiest camel clutch this side of Sid Vicious. Dang it’s bad.

Dog gets out of it kind of as Sheik argues with the referee. In an even dumber ending than before, a headbutt gets the pin. What? He used two of them before and didn’t even knock Sheik down but here that’s enough to get a clean pin? Come on now guys at least give us some consistency! Why couldn’t one of these two have gotten hurt early? I hate booking like this. It’s more or less saying the lazier you are, the stronger you’ll get pushed. That’s great business wouldn’t you say?

Rating: F-. Where do I begin? Let’s see: the moves were limited and sloppy, the thing lasted three whole minutes which I’ll never get back, and the ending made zero sense. What kind of a grade did you expect here? The crowd went nuts for the Dog though and that’s likely why he went on to win the tournament.

We’ll look at one more Iron Curtain match because that was a big time for Sheik. From Boston on August 9, 1986.

Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff vs. Hart Foundation

In Boston here and this would be heel vs. heel. The Harts are the faces by default and get cheered as a result. They also break up the Russian national anthem to really ensure their cheers. Even Gorilla acknowledges that no one cheers the Harts most of the time. The Harts clear the ring and eventually we start with Bret vs. Nikolai. Off to Sheik before anything happenes.

Bret sends him to the floor pretty easily as the Harts are in desperate need of a better team than this to face. Sheik gets him in the heel (I guess) corner but he misses a boot so Volkoff gets knocked down. Nikolai does get up to break up the middle rope elbow and Neidhart is shoved away. Sheik can take over now and brings in Nikolai who gets caught in a sunset flip which the referee misses.

The team that should have been called the Iron Curtain uses the classic basic heel moves to control as Sheik runs through his array of offense: abdominal stretch, gutwrench suplex and camel clutch, the final of which is broken up by Jim. Bret blocks some suplexes and it’s off to Neidhart. Jim cleans house with a bunch of dropkicks but Sheik breaks up a cover. Everything breaks down and Sheik pulls Neidhart’s leg to break up a slam and Volkoff falls on top for the pin.

Rating: D. Bad match and it’s not the right pairing for the Harts at all. They’re much better against the speed teams and since there was at least one for them to fight in the Killer Bees, I’m assuming there’s something up here. Not much of a match and pretty short, but the Harts did what they could. It just didn’t work all that well.

Sheik would stick around for another few years without accomplishing anything of note. After jumping around the AWA, WWC and NWA without doing anything interesting (save for getting squashed by Sting on PPV), it was back to the WWF to capitalize on the Gulf War. This is from Wrestling Challenge on June 30, 1991 with Sheik portraying Colonel Mustafa.

Colonel Mustafa vs. Jerry Stevens

The first part of the match is spent on an inset interview with Mustafa and his superior General Adnan. Stevens gets suplexed down as the announcers plug a trivia game on Hulk Hogan’s 900 number. A belly to back suplex sets up the camel clutch to give Mustafa the win.

The evil trio (Adnan, Mustafa and the now evil Sgt. Slaughter) would have their biggest match in the main event of Summerslam 1991: a handicap match against Hulk Hogan/Ultimate Warrior.

Ultimate Warrior/Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Colonel Mustafa/General Adnan

Sid Justice is guest referee and Hogan is WWF Champion. Hogan and Slaughter get things going but the Sarge wants to stall. Slaughter pounds on him in the corner but gets caught between the right hands of both superheroes. Off to Warrior for a clothesline followed by a double big boot to put Slaughter down again. A clothesline gets two for Hogan and it’s back to Warrior. This is completely one sided so far. Hogan comes back in with a middle rope ax handle for two.

Sid breaks up some choking in the corner and the distraction lets Slaughter get in some shots on Hogan. Adnan, an old manager, comes in to rake Hogan’s back and slowly pound away in the corner. Off to Mustafa (Iron Sheik) for the gutwrench suplex and the camel clutch but Warrior makes the save. Slaughter comes back in to choke away in the corner and send Hogan into Sid for a staredown. Sarge jumps the distracted Hogan and stomps away on the back.

Warrior breaks up a top rope something by Slaughter, allowing for the hot tag to the painted one. Warrior cleans house on Slaughter but runs into Sid for another staredown. Back to Mustafa who gets caught in a suplex but Slaughter blocks a tag. Slaughter puts Warrior in a chinlock, only to have the Ultimate One fight up and clothesline Sarge down. There’s the hot tag to Hogan as Hogan chases the lackeys to the back with a chair. More on that later as Hogan throws powder in Slaughter’s face and drops the leg to win.

Rating: D+. I’m not a fan of this one as the match was never in doubt at all, but above that the Iraq War had been over for six months so the interest in the feud was done long ago. Nothing to see here but the fans reacted pretty well to it. This would have been better as a house show main event instead of the main event of Summerslam. If nothing else there was a match around this time on a Coliseum Video with Slaughter/Mustafa/Undertaker against the superheroes. Wouldn’t that make a much better main event here?

Slaughter would turn face soon after this, setting up a feud with Mustafa. They would captain teams at the 1991 Survivor Series.

Team Mustafa vs. Team Slaughter

Colonel Mustafa, Berzerker, Skinner, Hercules

Sgt. Slaughter, Tito Santana, Jim Duggan, Texas Tornado

A lot of these guys are on their way out. Hercules would be in WCW by May, Tornado would job to the stars until leaving in July as would Mustafa (Iron Sheik), and the rest of the guys would do nothing of note for the rest of their time in the company. Kerry (Tornado) looks high as a kite and almost falls off the apron getting into the ring. This is pretty recently after Slaughter’s face turn as he was a heel at Summerslam. This isn’t exactly the most talent laden match ever and the only feud is Slaughter vs. Mustafa.

Tito and Skinner start with Santana taking over with a headlock. There’s the flying forearm out of nowhere and Skinner hits the floor without a cover. Off to Berzerker vs. Tornado which would work a lot better down in Dallas. Berzerker (a crazy viking who tried to stab Undertaker with a sword) misses a dropkick and it’s off to Mustafa. After some very brief offense, Kerry tumbles to his corner and brings in Duggan to face Hercules, which was in the first ever match at Survivor Series.

Duggan gets taken down by double and triple teaming and it’s off to Mustafa. He loads up his curled boots (it’s a Sheik thing) and does nothing with them. Thanks for wasting our time with that. Duggan pounds away and backdrops Mustafa down before the hot tag to Slaughter. The big showdown is an atomic drop and a clothesline to Mustafa for the elimination.

Berzerker comes in with some clotheslines and a kick to the fat gut of Slaughter. A boot to Slaughter’s face puts him down and it’s off to Hercules for some two counts. Back to the viking who gets crotched on the top rope and kicked in the legs. Off to Duggan who clotheslines Berzerker to the floor and backdrops him back there a few seconds later. Tornado comes in and pounds away on him before it’s off to Hercules again. Tito gets a blind tag and hits a forearm to the back of the head (El Paso Del Muerte) for the pin and the elimination.

Skinner, the guy that owned now former developmental program FCW, comes in as it’s 4-2. When you have Skinner and Berzerker as your only guys left, the team is in big trouble. A blind tag brings in Slaughter who rolls up Skinner for the elimination. Slaughter whips Berzerker into Duggan’s clothesline for the elimination and the win.

Rating: F. The match sucked, it was never in doubt, and the biggest deal on the heel team was Skinner, who would get an IC Title shot soon after this. What a horrible match and one of the most worthless ones in the history of the show so far, which is covering quite a bit of ground. Nothing to see here at all.

We’ll wrap it up with a handicap match in MSG on December 29, 1991.

General Adnan/Colonel Mustafa vs. Sgt. Slaughter

The winner gets to raise their own country’s flag. Mustafa (Iron Sheik) sings the Iraqi national anthem. No tagging required here I don’t think. Nope none at all. They jump Slaughter to start and use his bullet belt to work Slaughter over. Adnan goes outside which apparently he doesn’t have to do but does anyway. Most odd indeed.

Sheik gets a shot to Slaughter’s throat with something but the referee is distracted. Slaughter gets a clothesline to take over to almost no reaction. Adnan comes in as this needs to end soon due to the high level of suck in the evil foreigners. Slaughter rams them into each other and clotheslines Adnan for the pin to end it even though he wasn’t legal I don’t think.

Rating: D. Quick but barely long enough to call it a full match. It’s pretty bad and thankfully this angle/feud ended soon after this as the time for this thing went on way too long. Nothing special at all here and it was boring and bad on top of all that. Sarge was back though, even though he would be gone relatively soon.

Iron Sheik started out as an awesome wrestler with a great look and gimmick but time caught up with him in the late 80s. After that it was just living off of his past glory for a few years before he basically went nuts and wanted to, ahem, humble various wrestlers. Look up what that means for yourself. Anyway, Sheik is a very underrated talent that you should look into more if you only remember him for getting beaten up by Hulk Hogan.

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On This Day: December 28, 1997 – Starrcade 1997: How To Kill An Empire In Three Hours

Starrcade 1997
Date: December 28, 1997
Location: MCI Center, Washington, D.C.
Attendance: 17,500
Commentators: Eric Bischoff, Dusty Rhodes, Mike Tenay

Tonight is WCW’s night. After a year and a half of being dominated by the NWO, tonight is the night that WCW stands up and says this is our company and you’re not taking us over. WCW has its warrior in Sting and there is no way that Hogan can stop him. Hogan has been running scared of Sting for months and tonight he’s out of places to hide. This is WCW’s night. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is rather awesome with Sting standing in the shadows as rain falls. He jumps off a wall and lands on a picture of Hogan. Sting picks up the bat and walks off, all while pictures of Hogan are superimposed over the screen. That’s a great visual.

There will be a drawing on who gets to be the referee for the main event.

Several WCW wrestlers are in the crowd, including Harlem Heat and the TV Champion Disco Inferno.

Apparently Kevin Nash isn’t here tonight. This was another big problem with the NWO: they didn’t like to lose. The original plan for Nash was to face the Giant and lose. Nash, not wanting to be pinned on PPV, decided to screw the fans out of one of the biggest matches on the show and not appear. He eventually appeared in the match at the next PPV where he was allowed to win.

In other words, he acted unprofessionally and screwed over the people and got his way anyway. These are the kind of things that would catch up to them in the long run. Officially Nash claimed that he had chest pains, but he’s had a tendency to have those many times over the years when he was about to lose a major match. Also considering his story has changed multiple times over the years, something tells me he wasn’t being honest. Imagine that coming from a wrestler.

Cruiserweight Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Dean Malenko

This is the culmination of a rather awesome three way feud between Malenko, Guerrero and Rey Mysterio which led to some excellent matches between the three of them. Eddie is defending here. They head to the mat to start where Eddie is good but Dean is great. Malenko takes over on the champion and fires off some right hands to the head to send Eddie back. A leg lariat gets two for Malenko and they trade control of a German suplex until Dean counters a rana into a HARD powerbomb for two.

Another powerbomb gets two for Dean and a snap powerslam gets the same. Eddie begs for mercy and runs to the floor for a breather. Back in and Guerrero hits a chop block on Dean’s knee to give the champion control. Dean knees his way out of a suplex and drops Guerrero stomach first over the top rope to slow him down again. A clothesline gets another two count on Eddie and it’s off to a chinlock. Make that a headscissors as the match slows down a lot.

Back up and Eddie backs off again before kissing Dean’s feet and begging for mercy. Dean wins a test of strength by taking Eddie’s hands to the mat so he can stomp on them. A dropkick to the face puts Guerrero down again before Dean counters a tornado DDT and drops Guerrero face first on the top turnbuckle for two. Eddie gets suplexed out to the apron but lands on his feet, allowing him to snap Dean’s neck on the ropes. The champion takes over with a slingshot ax handle onto Dean’s leg to put Malenko in trouble.

Guerrero wraps Dean’s knee around the post and dropkicks the steps into said knee in a nice show of aggression. Back in again and Guerrero cranks on the leg for a bit before hitting a bit powerbomb for two. Dean counters a hurricanrana attempt into a nice wheelbarrow suplex for two. A backbreaker puts Eddie down again but it hurts Dean’s knee in the process. Eddie takes him up top but gets shoved off the top as he tries a rana. Dean tries the Texas Cloverleaf (submission hold) but Eddie kicks the knee out to escape. Guerrero hits a missile dropkick into the knee to set up a Frog Splash to retain the title.

Rating: C+. Decent opener here but way below what you would expect from these two. The matches leading up to this one had been excellent but this came off as somewhat flat. It’s certainly not a bad match or anything, but given the expectations from the buildup, this was pretty disappointing.

Here’s Scott Hall with something to say. As is his custom, Hall asks the fans if they’re here to see the NWO or WCW. In this case it’s WCW but Hall would rather talk about the main event. He actually has a reason to as he gets a title shot at the winner at Uncensored. As for Nash, he isn’t here tonight so Giant is the winner. Giant comes out and says that he’s a patient man and one day Nash will be back. Hall goes after Giant but gets laid out with Kevin Nash’s powerbomb. Why they didn’t just have Hall replace Nash in a match here is beyond me.

Scott Norton/Vincent/Konnan vs. Ray Traylor/Steiner Brothers

The Steiners and Traylor had been going to war with the NWO for months so these three are just a random grouping of members for them to fight. There’s no Konnan in sight during the entrances so we’re going to start with a handicap match. Norton is a big strong guy who used to be world armwrestling champion. Vincent used to work for the WWF as Ted DiBiase’s bodyguard. The Steiners’ manager tonight? Ted DiBiase.

Since there’s no Konnan, here’s former world champion Randy Savage to take his place. Savage nearly gets in a fight with the WCW wrestlers in the audience on the way to the ring. For the sake of clarity in this match, Scott will only be used in reference to Scott Steiner. Savage starts with Scott with Randy being shoved back into the corner. A shoulder block puts Savage down but Norton hits Scott in the back to let Savage take over. Off to Vincent who is there to distract the referee while Savage chokes Scott.

Norton comes in for a power vs. power match with Scott, followed by a backbreaker to work on Scott’s back. Savage adds a double ax to the spine, only to have Scott come back with a double underhook powerbomb and a gorilla press slam. Everything breaks down and the NWO is cleared out. Back in and it’s Rick vs. Norton now which is a battle of the tough guys. Rick hits a quick suplex and a Steiner Line followed by a powerslam for two. Traylor, a former member of the NWO, comes in to pound away on Norton as well.

Vincent comes back in and walks into a spinebuster and a belly to back drop. Back to Scott for that wicked spinning belly to belly for no cover. Traylor comes in again as we have the rare heel in peril sequence. Rick puts on a chinlock while rubbing Vincent’s head for no apparent reason. Traylor comes back in but misses a splash, allowing for the tag off to Norton. After a big clothesline, it’s back to Vincent instead of Savage for no apparent reason.

To the shock of no one, Vincent is no match for Traylor and it’s hot tag to Rick. He cleans house and the Steiners hit their top rope DDT on Vincent, only to have Norton make the save. Scott hits the Frankensteiner off the top but this time Savage makes the save. Now it’s Savage in danger of being caught in the top rope Frankensteiner but Norton shoves Scott off the top, allowing Randy to drop the big elbow for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not a bad match or anything here, but why in the world would have have the NWO D team and Savage win this match? The Steiners are the world tag team champions and they’re losing in the second match on the biggest show of the year? This night is supposed to be all about WCW, not about the NWO winning a meaningless match that they don’t need.

Nick Patrick is officially announced as the referee for the main event. The problem with this is that Patrick is a former member of the NWO with a very sketchy record. Keep in mind that we’re wasting time on the biggest show of the year for this. Also, I wonder what the announcers are going to spend the next hour and a half talking about.

Bill Goldberg vs. Steve McMichael

Steve “Mongo” McMichael is a former Horseman and NFL player, but he’s absolutely terrible in the ring. Goldberg is still undefeated at this point and would become a much bigger deal after this show is over. This is happening because Goldberg stole McMichael’s Super Bowl ring and they’ve attacked each other a few times since. The brawl is on in the aisle to start but Mongo’s offense isn’t having much effect. Goldberg literally picks him up and carries Mongo into the ring like a rag doll.

Goldberg picks up a table at ringside as the bell rings and the actual match begins. Mongo suplexes him down for two but a big shoulder tackle takes Steve down for two. We head to the floor where the table is leaning against the post. They fight around the ring with Mongo taking over before heading back inside, only to have Goldberg punch Mongo as Steve dives off the top. Goldberg hooks a quick leg lock and is toying with Mongo at this point.

The spear (the setup for Goldberg’s finisher) hits for two and Goldberg loads up the table on the floor. He tries to slam Mongo over the top and through the table but the referee breaks it up. A dropkick of all things puts Mongo down and out to the floor and we have to be getting close to done. Mongo gets back up onto the apron, only to be punched through the table. Back in and the Jackhammer (suplex but instead Goldberg turns it over into a powerslam) ends Mongo.

Rating: D. This was terrible but Goldberg’s day was coming. It was clear that Mongo just wasn’t any good as a wrestler and thankfully in 1998 he would be pushed WAY down the card and rarely ever have a big match again. The match itself was slow and plodding, but Goldberg would be pushed to the moon very quickly after this.

Raven vs. Chris Benoit

Raven, a loner who has a collection of misfits called his Flock, comes out for his match against Chris Benoit but says he won’t wrestle tonight. Instead his top man Saturn does, which has been a recurring theme for Raven. To be fair to him and WCW though, Raven had a legit appendicitis and wasn’t medically cleared to wrestle. On the other hand, WCW knew this in advance and didn’t bother to announce that Raven couldn’t wrestle, thereby ripping off the fans with something they easily could have fixed. Anyway Benoit is a very tough wrestler with an excellent amateur skill set. Saturn can do a bit of everything.

Before the match, Benoit talks about seeing things for what they are in an attempt to speak like Raven. This doesn’t go well at all, but once they had their match it would be a classic. Apparently this is under Raven’s Rules, meaning anything goes. Saturn tries to jump Benoit but gets chopped down for his efforts. More chops hit Saturn’s chest in the corner and a jawbreaker gets Benoit out of a sleeper attempt. Benoit stomps away in the corner and invites Raven to get in the ring. Saturn catches Benoit’s arm during a chop attempt and hits a quick suplex to take over.

Chris comes right back with a dropkick to the knee but has to knock Raven to the floor instead of go after Saturn. Benoit whips Saturn into the barricade but Raven’s men Kidman and Sick Boy interfere to give Saturn control. Back in and Saturn puts on a chinlock before hitting a moonsault, only to injure himself in the process. A few knees to Benoit’s ribs put him down again but Benoit’s foot is in the ropes. Off to reverse chinlock by Saturn to stay on the ribs but he lets it go for no apparent reason.

A kind of brainbuster gets two on Benoit and it’s off to another chinlock. Benoit fights up and hooks a sunset flip for two before clotheslining Saturn down. Both guys are dazed now but it’s Benoit taking over as they get back up. Saturn grabs a quick falcon arrow (sitout slam) to put Benoit down, only to have Chris knock him off the top rope and to the floor.

Benoit takes it to the floor and puts on his Crippler Crossface (arm trap hold with a facelock) but the Flock makes the save. Benoit fights them and throws Saturn back in for the flying headbutt, only to have the Flock come in again. They’re quickly dispatched, but Raven himself comes in with the DDT to lay Benoit out. Saturn puts on his Rings of Saturn double armbar but Benoit is out cold, ending the match.

Rating: C+. This was getting good at the end but the decision here makes little sense. Benoit had been running through the Flock, so why have him lose to Saturn right before he’s supposed to face Raven? Benoit can’t beat the second in command so we’re supposed to want to see him fight the boss? That doesn’t make sense.

By the way: this is an eight match card and the heels are now 4/4.

Buff Bagwell vs. Lex Luger

Buff is of course Marcus Bagwell and now part of the NWO. This is I think the fourth match between these two in about a month with Bagwell cheating to win before. Bagwell of course stalls before the match begins because that’s what people with little talent do to draw heat. They lock up and go into the corner with no one being able to get an advantage. Buff starts pounding away in the corner but Lex comes back with right hands of his own. A press slam puts Bagwell down and a clothesline puts him on the floor.

Bagwell is ticked off and wants Vincent out here to help him. Apparently the power of a worthless man obsessed with his own career like Vincent is enough to inspire Bagwell as he pounds away on Lex. It doesn’t last long though as Luger pounds him down onto the floor and sends him into the barricade before nailing Vincent. The distraction lets Bagwell get in more of his array of right hands and forearms before stomping away in the corner. Bagwell pounds on Luger’s back and says hi to his mom Judy (future World Tag Team Champion. Please, don’t ask).

Luger gets in a back elbow but can’t follow up at all. Then again he took some forearms to the back so how good could be be right now? Bagwell puts on a chinlock for a bit before clotheslining Luger down for two. Back to the chinlock as this match is already going long. Luger tries to come back but a knee to the ribs puts him right back down. Now it’s a sleeper because this match hasn’t had enough rest holds. Lex finally fights up and suplexes him down so let’s lay around even more.

Luger pounds away and hits some clotheslines and atomic drops. Now Luger has to beat up Vincent before suplexing Bagwell down. Vincent is thrown off the top and clotheslined to the floor and Luger stomps away in the corner. The referee calls him off, allowing Bagwell to hit him in the back and into the referee. Luger puts Buff in the Torture Rack but there’s no referee to see Randy Savage make the save. Savage gets racked but here’s Scott Norton to hit Luger in the head with a chain and put Bagwell on top for the pin.

Rating: D. In case you’re keeping track, we’re about an hour and forty minutes into this show and the heels are still undefeated. I’m assuming the idea here was to make Bagwell look like he can beat a big name, but having him need three other guys and a weapon to do so isn’t going to accomplish that goal. This was really boring too and could have had five minutes cut out from it.

US Title: Curt Hennig vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Hennig is defending and had been feuding with Flair for months, but Flair is hurt so Page is subbing for him. Curt is also NWO of course. Apparently Page stole the physical belt last night on Saturday Night….and then gave it back before the match tonight. That sounds like an idea they had and then dropped. Page has bad ribs which he had for months on end. Hennig gets elbowed in the face a lot and knocked out to the floor for a breather.

Back in and Hennig wisely goes after the bad ribs before putting on a chinlock. Thankfully it doesn’t last long as Page counters into the much more interesting headlock. Curt fights up and is put right back into the hold as the match continues to go slowly. Back up and they head to the floor where Hennig snaps Page’s throat across the top rope to take over. Page also goes ribs first into the steps as Hennig is thinking with his attack here. They go back into the ring where Curt pounds on the ribs even more.

Page tries to fight back but charges into a boot in the corner and a clothesline takes him down. Off to a chinlock which must be left over from the Bagwell match. The fans start chanting boring as this hold drags on for over a minute. Page finally fights up and hits a jawbreaker to escape before punching Hennig out to the floor. A dive over the top puts Hennig down again and Page throws him into the crowd to continue the beating.

They head back inside where Hennig gets to do his reverse crotch against the post spot. The Diamond Cutter is blocked by a grab of the ropes though and Hennig gets two. A rollup gets two for Page but Hennig clotheslines him down for two. Hennig loads up his Hennigplex but Page counters into a Diamond Cutter. He totally botched the move though and it looks like an armbar. They both get back up and Page hits the Diamond Cutter out of nowhere for the US Title and the first win by a good guy of the night.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t great and the botched ending hurt it a bit. Still though, it’s nice to see the fans have something to cheer for, even though it took them nearly two hours to get there. To say the Diamond Cutter was a popular move is the understatement of the year, as the fans went nuts when he hit it. This was a pretty dull match until the Cutter hit.

Bret Hart comes out to be guest referee. There’s no pyro, there’s no big entrance, there’s nothing but generic music and Bret casually walking to the ring. The theory is that he’s in the NWO but that’s never been confirmed yet.

Eric Bischoff vs. Larry Zbyszko

Rating: F. This was in the second to last spot on the biggest show of the year and featured the boss of the company who has no skill whatsoever in the ring. Larry did fine all things considered, but to waste this spot on this match and to waste BRET HART’s in ring debut on this match is absolutely ridiculous in every sense of the word.

And yet, it’s only going to get worse.

Before we get to the main event, I need to set the stage a bit more. This match is 18 months in the making at minimum. Hogan has been the biggest villain in the company the entire time and has been behind a ton of attacks, crooked endings, and every other possible evil thing you can do as a wrestler. He has basically held the world title hostage for the entire time and has gone completely against WCW. Tonight should be his punishment for those crimes. This match should be Hogan being taken to the gallows and executed for everything he’s done for the last year and a half.

WCW World Title: Sting vs. Hollywood Hogan

So how does Hogan come out after running scared of Sting for a year and a half? He struts to the ring, playing the belt like a guitar. He looks like he’s about to face Sick Boy instead of Sting for the world title. Hogan should have had people literally dragging him to the ring as he was trying everything he could to get out of the match. Have him offering money to the security, have him trying to run, have him doing ANYTHING but walking out with that big grin on his face.

After a year of repelling from the rafters, coming through the crowd, and at one point ziplining to the ring Sting…..calmly walks out. Oh wait there’s some lightning and a voiceover that we’ve heard before so it’s cool right? They stare each other down and as the bell rings, Hogan shoves him away. Sting slaps him so Hogan walks around the ring and is loudly booed as you would expect. Sting is pushed to the corner but comes out with a right hand and it’s pretty much all downhill from there.

We’re about two minutes into the match now and that’s literally all that’s happened. Hogan kicks him in the ribs and a single right hand sends Sting flying across the ring. Sting is pounded in the corner as Hogan gives a shout out to his son, Nasty Nick. A shot to the throat has Sting in trouble as the crowd is stunned. There’s a slam but Hogan misses three straight elbows. A dropkick puts Hogan on the floor and Sting just stands there looking down at Hollywood.

Back in and the fans are chanting boring. Hogan grabs a headlock before running Sting over like he’s not even there. Two more dropkicks send Hogan to the floor and again just stands there. Back inside again and Sting puts on a headlock to take Hogan down. We’re six minutes into this and the entire sequence of action has been punches, headlocks, a shoulder block and dropkicks. Goldberg and McMichael went less than six minutes and had a full match while Hogan and Sting have fit about a minute’s worth of action in the same amount of time.

Hogan shoves him off and lays Sting out with a clothesline. As in Sting is down on the mat for about 10 seconds off a clothesline. A suplex puts Sting down but he’s on his feet before Hogan is. That’s more like it. He does the crotch chop sign to Hogan and pounds Hogan into the corner….so Hogan calmly rakes the eyes to take over again. Hogan is toying with Sting so far and he does even more toying by throwing Sting to the floor. Sting is thrown into the timekeeper’s area and Hogan hits him in the neck with Sting’s trademark baseball bat.

Sting is choked with a t-shirt up against the railing, but he comes back by whipping Hogan into the barricade. As usual though, Sting misses the Stinger Splash into the steel and Hogan takes over seconds later. Sting is crotched on the barricade and dropped with a single right hand. I’ve seen Hogan have more trouble dropping jobbers. Back in and Hogan hits an atomic drop before choking away. We’re over ten minutes into this now and Hogan hasn’t been in significant trouble at all.

And now, it’s going to get even worse.

Hogan hits the big boot and the legdrop for the pin in a little over eleven minutes. Now, the announcers start talking about a fast count, but the count was about as fast as you would expect it to be, albeit maybe a hair faster. It’s far from what you would call a fast count when you’re talking about a crooked referee though. I’ve heard stories over the years about Hogan actually paying the referee to count at a normal speed to count properly instead of doing it fast, and if that’s the case then he did a decent job at it. The count was close enough that you could buy it either way, but it looked good enough.

On top of that, the far bigger problem with the fast count theory is that it doesn’t hold up when you look at the aftermath. The idea behind a fast count is that the guy would have been able to kick out had it been at normal speed. Sting NEVER MOVED. He doesn’t push off, he doesn’t sit up after the count, he doesn’t kick his legs. Sting is still laying on the mat a good ten seconds after the three count. Even with the fast count, Sting looks like he’s out cold so the count doesn’t even make a difference.

On top of THAT, Bret Hart is seen walking in front of the camera as Hogan is going down for the cover. Not a few seconds after the cover, not as Hogan is celebrating, but as Hogan is getting on top of Sting. That would mean that he came into the arena probably before Hogan even hit the big boot. Why was he out there? He’s there early enough to grab the timekeeper’s hand before he can strike the bell, which makes even less sense.

Back to the “action” as Bret grabs the mic and mumbles that “he’s not going to let it happen again.” He complains about the count being fast and decks Nick Patrick (who has the most amazing overblown fall ever, throwing his arms in the air and falling over like a tree). Hogan tries to leave (as Sting is just now getting up) but Bret throws him back in the ring.

Bret calls for the bell, Sting goes NUTS and hits a quick Stinger Splash. He tries for another but Hogan holds the ropes, pretty much stopping Sting’s momentum cold. The NWO runs in but Sting fights them off and hits another splash on Hogan. The Scorpion Deathlock goes on and Hogan gives up, allowing Bret to call for the bell and give Sting the title.

WCW comes out to celebrate, Sting shouts something in what sounds like Spanish (the last word was mamacita. A quick Google search says Sting said something like “revenge is sweet baby”) into the camera, end of show.

Rating: W. As in where in the world do I even start. First and foremost, the match absolutely sucked in case you couldn’t tell. Hogan was destroying Sting for over ten minutes and then pinned him clean(ish) in the middle of the ring. It’s completely against everything that the match was supposed to be and was horribly boring on top of that. This made Sting look like a complete joke and did little for anyone else besides Hogan.

Now for the second ending, which has even more holes in it. First and foremost, there’s one huge problem with what Bret did: what if you didn’t watch WWF? Simple question: what if you had no idea that this was a reference to what happened at Survivor Series a few weeks ago because you don’t watch that company’s programming? What was Bret not allowing to happen again? Granted you can only be confused by that if you understood what Bret said, which was mumbled pretty badly.

Second, Bret was hired as guest referee for one match, but he now has the authority to referee any match he wants all night long. The fans live weren’t told that, so they either had to put it together in about a minute and a half, or they were completely oblivious to what was going on. The whole idea was a stretch to put it mildly and it was made even worse by how badly it was executed.

Finally…..just why? I mean, aside from Hogan, who could have possibly thought this was a good idea? The answer I’ve heard from either Hogan or Bischoff in one of their books is that Sting had some substance abuse issues and was in no condition to be champion at this point. The problem with that theory is that Sting just wrestled a coherent enough match. He was pretty much a shell of his former self, but he was able to throw dropkicks, punches, the Stinger Splash and the Scorpion Deathlock. That’s really all he needed in this match, but apparently he wasn’t capable of doing those things, at least according to Hogan or Bischoff.

All in all, this match is the biggest disaster that I can ever remember for a major match. It was booked completely backwards, it did nothing that it was supposed to do, the ending was screwed up, and the fans were likely confused by at least one thing at the time. Sting may indeed have had a drug problem at the time, but if he’s even remotely capable of wrestling a passable match (which he clearly was), you give the fans this moment and worry about the rest later. It’s been over 15 years since this happened and I’m still amazed by how badly they screwed this up.

Overall Rating: F. That’s the only way to describe this show: a failure. WCW completely failed at what they were trying to do here and the show is a disaster. The best match is just slightly above average and that’s likely being generous. No good guy wins until nearly two hours into the show and the main reason to watch the show (which A LOT of people did) was completely fouled up.

This is everything that you can possibly do wrong on a major show rolled into one and multiplied several times over. There’s nothing truly good here and the aftershocks of this show crippled WCW for good. This was supposed to be the night that WCW was supposed to come back from everything that had gone wrong for them and take back their company. At the end of the day, they got back the US Title and that’s it. They already had Nitro and yeah they got back the world title. For now. That’s the other reason this show is so awful: at the end of the day, none of this mattered.

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