Impact Wrestling – March 27, 2015: The Old Standard

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 27, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Taz

We’re finally back in America after a pretty awesome UK tour and the main story is Kurt Angle defeating Lashley to win the World Title. As for tonight, the big story is the return of Jeff Hardy from his annual “I can’t go to Europe” leave for a showdown inside a cage against James Storm. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Storm shoving Hardy off the cage a few weeks ago to put him out of action.

Here are Storm and Khoya for a chat to get things going. Storm says tonight is supposed to be about Hardy’s revenge but Hardy isn’t here. A few weeks back, Storm did exactly what he said he was going to do when he put out Jeff and then last week he did the same to Matt. Jeff Hardy is known for diving off cages so Storm just tried to help him. The fans chant for Hardy so Storm pulls out a watermelon and says this is Hardy before throwing it over the cage and out to the floor.

This brings out Jeff who says Storm did what no one else could do and put him out for a bit, but Jeff is still standing. He wants to start now, but here’s Manik to get in a cheap shot and lay Hardy out. Storm orders Manik to break his arm but Jeff hits a twisting Stunner to put Manik down. This brings out Abyss to send Jeff into the cage but Hardy takes the chair away from Abyss and lays him out. Jeff asks someone to lower the roof of the cage, which happens to be full of weapons. The match is later tonight.

We look at Austin Aries getting his Feast or Fired briefcase back, allowing Spud to win the X-Division Title.

The BDC says they can’t replace someone (meaning Joe) but MVP says it’s time for Low Ki to get the X-Division Title back tonight.

Ad for the Sting DVD set. How long has it been since they had a DVD release?

Storm sends Khoya to get rid of Jeff Hardy.

X-Division Title: Low Ki vs. Rockstar Spud

Rematch from last week’s “match”. I’m not the biggest Low Ki fan so hopefully this doesn’t end Spud’s hot streak. It’s a slow start until Ki takes him down to the mat for a hard kick to the ribs. Spud’s chops have no effect but some right hands do. That’s the extent of his offense though as Spud gets dropped again and keeps shaking his head. A double stomp knocks Spud silly and he has to beat a ten count back up.

Back up and Spud snaps off some left hands followed by a dropkick as he tries to speed things up. He plants Ki with a running DDT and takes off the bowtie. Cue MVP and King for distractions to break up the Underdog, but Drew Galloway distracts them, allowing Spud to small Low Ki for the pin at 5:11.

Rating: D. Spud got beaten up for most of the match here before a fluke ending. I’ve never been a fan of booking that makes the champion look weak and that’s exactly how Spud came off. He doesn’t have the highest stature in the first place and this isn’t the best way for him to look stronger. Drew vs. the BDC isn’t the most interesting feud in the world either.

Post break the BDC is still in the ring (oh joy) to rant about Galloway and threaten to send him to the hospital. MVP wants Drew out here right now and that’s exactly what he gets. Drew admits that he’s both dumb and crazy because he’s still here after King hit him with a pipe. He wants to know who will stand up with him tonight and asks the fans if they’re tired of the BDC.

Drew says they have a rising going on right now but King turns it into a Braveheart analogy. Ki wants Low Ki right now and it’s on, with two guys (the recently released Camacho and indy wrestler Shaun Ricker) jumping in from the crowd for a three on three brawl. The newly named Rising clear the ring. Great. ANOTHER faction.

Video on Kong wanting to take Taryn Terrell’s Knockout Title.

The BDC is ready to call someone to replace Joe.

Brooke vs. Awesome Kong

Let the squashing begin. Brooke fires off kicks to the leg but gets run over by a standing clothesline. A front slam drops Brooke again before King stands on her hair. Brooke even tries to fight back from the mat but her forearms have no effect. Kong shrugs off some clotheslines but the Awesome Bomb is countered (Kidman!) into a faceplant. A top rope elbow gets two on Kong but she comes back with a chokeslam and the Implant Buster for the pin at 4:15.

Rating: D+. I’m glad that they’re back to having Brooke just be eye candy instead of having her do WACKY COMEDY with Robbie E. At least this match made Kong look dominant instead of having her lose in a triple threat, even though that’s the calling card of the Knockouts division.

Kong hits another Implant Buster and gets a table from under the ring. Taryn comes in to hammer on Kong, eventually putting her down with a missile dropkick and low bridging her to the floor. Kong shrugs all that off though and powerbombs Terrell through the table.

Video on Lashley vs. Angle from last week.

Aries implies he’s cashing in tonight.

Jeff Hardy is talking about the match tonight when Khoya comes in. Hardy fights him off and finds a conveniently placed ladder to get in even more damage. Khoya tries to get up so Jeff breaks bottles over his face. That’s a bit excessive.

Here’s Kurt Angle for his championship celebration. He says this is title #14 (it’s still a huge stretch Kurt) but this one is different. Kurt talks about having to work this much harder to get here and it’s his proudest moment thus far. Cue Ethan Carter III (FINALLY) to talk about how Angle has inspired everyone in the back, even him.

Angle did the impossible last week when he beat Lashley, but it seems impossible to go 18 months undefeated and beat every TNA Hall of Famer (minus D-Von but who cares about him anyway). Angle doesn’t buy it but here’s Roode to interrupt as well. He wants his rematch for the title and Angle doesn’t seem opposed to the idea. Angle deserves this moment but it’s just a moment.

This brings out Eric Young (of freaking course) to say he took the title from Bobby Roode because he’s always been better than Bobby. Young says the title goes through him but Austin Aries comes out carrying the briefcase. After pointing out that Carter hasn’t won the title, he opens the briefcase and reveals a bottle of champagne. The question is who the toast is for. Angle says he’ll fight anyone anywhere anytime. As he goes to leave, Lashley comes out to say it’s his rematch time. That’s fine with Angle but a huge brawl breaks out with all the people in the ring. We’re still not done because Mr. Anderson comes out to join in.

Austin Aries/Mr. Anderson/Bobby Roode vs. Ethan Carter III/Eric Young/Tyrus

Joined in progress after a break with Carter in trouble. Roode catapults Carter into a forearm from Aries for two before it’s off to Anderson to stay on the arm. Off to Tyrus vs. Roode with the big man suplexing Bobby down. Off to Carter to choke on the ropes before putting on a chinlock. Young can’t get the piledriver as Roode counters with a backdrop and makes the hot tag to Aries.

Everything breaks down with Tyrus nailing Aries with a clothesline but Anderson takes out the big man. Aries forearms Carter to the floor and hits the suicide dive but Young posts Anderson. Back in and Roode spinebusters Young down, setting up the 450 but Aries only hits mat. He also bangs up his knee, allowing Young to slap on a Figure Four for the submission at 7:26.

Rating: C-. This match was a good example of a lot of TNA’s problems in a single match: too many people involved in a story and stuff happening WAY too fast. Set this up for next week’s main event instead of just throwing everything together at once. I like the idea of everyone wanting the belt as it’s what wrestling is built on, but let things breathe a bit and build the anticipation.

Here’s Bram to call Magnus a coward over and over. Magnus has been sending his old lady out here to fight his battles, but it makes sense as she’s more of a man than he’ll ever be. A mention of Magnus’ son is enough to bring Magnus himself out to say this is about to become more than anyone can handle. Bram promises to make Mickie cry, but she says they’ll be tears of joy when Bram is beaten all around the Impact Zone.

That’s what Bram wanted to hear, because he thinks Mickie will have to go back to an empty house. Don’t worry though because his door is always open. It’s on now but a low blow puts Magnus down. Bram grabs Mickie and tries to make her kiss his boot before just trying to kiss her instead.

Magnus gets back up and suplexes him down before beating Bram with that wrench Bram carries. They go to leave but Mickie has to get in some shots of her own. This is still an awesome story and the promos are on fire. It also helps that it’s something relatable. Instead of a cult leader messing with a psychedelic daredevil, it’s a man defending his family.

Angle says he beat Lashley once but beating him again will be tough. He won’t be intimidated though.

James Storm vs. Jeff Hardy

Inside the cage with weapons and Storm blasts him with a trashcan before the bell. Hardy quickly fights back and sends him into some buckles. Poetry in Motion with a chair connects once but misses the second time to give Storm control again. Back with Matthews telling us which guy is which and recapping the events that set this up in about ten seconds. I miss basic announcing like that and it’s so refreshing to hear it again. Storm tells the fans to shut up and gets taken down by a running clothesline. The Swanton hits knees though and the Eye of the Storm gets two.

Closing Time into a Backstabber sets up the Last Call but Storm wants the cowbell. Hardy takes it away and hits Storm with it, setting up the Swanton for two. Back up and Storm goes up top so Jeff grabs the top of the cage for some dropkicks into a hurricanrana for another near fall. They’re just going spot to spot at this point. Some trashcan lid shots to the head and a cowbell shot look to set up the Swanton but Jeff monkey bars across the top into a swinging Vader Bomb (minus the pumping) for the pin at 14:55.

Rating: C+. Fun match but there are some issues here, starting with the weapons. A single moment a few weeks ago really doesn’t warrant a gimmick cage match in the first match back for Jeff. Where is this feud supposed to go? That’s one of TNA’s long running issues: knowing how to end a feud. This is probably going to continue for weeks after the big match happened early on. Still though, it was a fun match, assuming you can ignore the parts that didn’t need to be there.

After a preview for next week, we get a nice In Memory Of graphic for Perro Aguayo Jr. WWE didn’t do that.

Overall Rating: C. This show was a great example of one of TNA’s major problems flaring up again: they don’t know how to calm down and let things breathe. Look at earlier: we have three stables, a gimmick cage match, a falls count anywhere match next week, and a World Title match next week. That kind of stuff should fill up six weeks, not two shows. Let the show take its time instead of firing off everything at once and see how much better the builds are. It’s a good show this week with Magnus and Bram as the highlights, but these shows wear me out more often than not and that’s more like Raw than anything else.

Results

Rockstar Spud b. Low Ki – Small package

Awesome Kong b. Brooke – Implant Buster

Eric Young/Ethan Carter III/Tyrus vs. Bobby Roode/Austin Aries/Mr. Anderson – Figure four to Aries

Jeff Hardy b. James Storm – Swinging splash from the roof of the cage

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Impact Wrestling – March 20, 2015: It’s Still True

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 20, 2015
Location: Wembley Arena, London, England
Attendance: 4,500
Commentators: Taz, Josh Matthews

This is the last show of the European tour and they have a big main event to cap things off: Lashley defending the World Title against Kurt Angle. This is a match they’ve built up very well in the last few weeks and it feels like a match worthy of closing things out. There’s also a triple threat Ultimate X match for the Tag Team Titles, but that’s not important enough to advertise on TV. Let’s get to it.

Tag Team Titles: Wolves vs. BroMans vs. Manik/Great Sanada

Ultimate X, meaning the titles are hung above the ring where they’re suspended from two ropes in the shape of an X. You have to climb up the structures at the corners of the ring and crawl along the ropes to retrieve the titles. The Wolves are defending and it’s DJZ and Jesse Godderz this time due to Robbie being shaken up by losing to Brooke last week. The champs get quadruple teamed to start but they easily fight off the schmucks and lackeys to clean house.

Jesse gets beaten down by the champs but Angelina offers a distraction to break up a double dive. That’s fine with the Wolves as they throw DJZ over the top onto the Revolution. Nice way to get the best of both worlds, if you consider Angelina the best that is. The challengers finally get things together and beat Edwards and Richards down until Jesse holds Richards long enough to nearly allow Manik to get the belts. Instead he dropkicks Manik down, followed by a double backbreaker for good measure.

The BroMans try to get the belts without climbing and actually get their fingers on them, but the Revolution comes in to turn it into a game of chicken. That brings the Wolves back in for stereo dropkicks and all six guys are down. Richards powerbombs Manik into a Backstabber for a save and DJZ gets shoved into the truss. Jesse gets some mist to the face but Edwards crotches Sanada. A hurricanrana into the double stomp from Edwards has Sanada out of it, leaving the Wolves to take down the belts to retain at 9:23.

Rating: B-. This felt like a really good house show match: they didn’t do much besides the big stuff and the titles were never in any real danger, but it’s entertaining stuff and the crowd got into it. They weren’t going for some masterpiece here and it would have been a stretch for the Wolves to have a major problem dispatching either team. Good stuff here and exactly what it was supposed to be.

The announcers preview the main event.

Here’s Austin Aries with something to say. He hasn’t been around the last few weeks and it’s because of the Beat Down Clan. They beat him up and stole his briefcase, so get out here right now and give it back. Cue Samoa Joe and Low Ki with the briefcase with Low Ki saying possession is 9/10 of the law, so Aries can’t play his games right now.

Aries has two points: Low Ki isn’t Austin Aries because he doesn’t cash in that briefcase. Second, Low Ki isn’t Austin Aries because that briefcase doesn’t have his name on it. Aries wants his X-Division Title back too and is willing to put his briefcase up for a shot at it. Ki agrees, but only if Aries can get through Joe. Joe nails Aries and we go to a break.

Samoa Joe vs. Austin Aries

Joined in progress after a break with Aries in big trouble. His comeback is easily broken up as Joe gets in a shot to the shoulder and throws Aries to the floor. The arm gets sent into the steps before an overhead belly to belly gets two back inside. We hit the chinlock followed by a nerve hold as things slow way down. The backsplash misses though and Aries fires off some left hands in the corner. Joe is too big for the brainbuster though and he takes Aries down for a Fujiwara armbar on the bad arm. Aries makes the rope and sends Joe outside, setting up a big suicide dive, only to have Low Ki nail Aries for the DQ at 6:55.

Rating: C. This was just a match to set up the angle but it still worked well enough. Aries is able to have a good match with almost anyone in the company and I like that Low Ki seemed scared to go after the briefcase but trusted in his numbers advantage to take Aries down. Nice stuff here.

The BDC goes after Aries but Low Ki nails Joe in the head with the briefcase (great shot too) to knock him cold. Aries forearms the briefcase into Ki’s head and leaves with the belt. Cue Rockstar Spud with his X-Division Feast or Fired case and it’s time for a cash in!

X-Division Title: Rockstar Spud vs. Low Ki

Underdog gives Spud the title in seven seconds. Spud deserves something for all the work he’s done lately.

Magnus is beating Bram up in the back and throws him onto a cart. They come into the arena with Bram being knocked down the aisle. Magnus erupts on him with a chair but referees pulls him off. Mickie James comes out and kicks Bram in the ribs. That’s enough of an opening for Magnus to take Bram up to the stage for a powerbomb to leave Bram laying.

The roster is looking forward to the main event. MVP says they’re fighting for his title.

Knockouts Title: Awesome Kong vs. Taryn Terrell vs. Gail Kim

Terrell is defending. The early double teaming of Kong gets her down but she sends Gail into Taryn to take over. Kong lifts Taryn up for a slam but Gail dropkicks Terrell in the back. That doesn’t phase Kong and she drops Taryn on Gail in a cool spot. Taryn gets clotheslined out of the air but Gail counters the Implant Buster.

More double teaming fails and Gail is knocked to the floor. A middle rope dropkick staggers Kong but she shoves off the Taryn Cutter. There go the gloves but she misses the splash, allowing Taryn to hit the second attempt at the cutter for two. Instead a dropkick sends Kong to the floor where Gail nails her with a huge dive. Back in and Gail sunset bombs Taryn for two but gets rolled up for the pin to retain Taryn’s title at 6:16.

Rating: B-. I’d love to see the Divas get a chance to do something like this. Seeing the Knockouts and NXT Girls having matches like this one make me wonder why the Divas aren’t given the chance to pull off something similar. The time helped here but the whole thing wasn’t even seven minutes long, meaning it doesn’t even take a long time to put together a classic.

James Storm flips a coin to determine what happens to Matt Hardy. The decision is to cause him severe pain.

Video on Angle vs. Lashley with a theme of surviving changes in life.

Angle says he’s ready.

James Storm vs. Matt Hardy

No DQ. The brawl starts in the aisle again with Matt getting the better of it and throwing a bunch of chairs into the ring. Storm comes back by wedging a chair in the corner before they trade trashcan shots to the head. Matt gets crotched on the top and kicked in the head, setting up a superplex onto two open chairs for two. Abyss throws in some tacks but Matt knocks James’ back first onto them, followed by a top rope elbow for two.

The Twist of Fate connects but Abyss pulls the referee out at two. The rest of the Revolution gets involved but are easily dispatched, only to have Storm send him into the chair in the corner for a close two. Another Twist of Fate drops Storm but Matt can’t cover. Instead Abyss hands Storm the bell as Sanada mists Matt. A cowbell to the back of the head and two Last Calls are good for the pin at 6:48.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t feeling this one as it felt like they were cramming way too much stuff into this. I’m not even sure why the Revolution is going after the Hardys but it’s better than them having nothing to do and just wasting time while adding more people to their ranks. This one missed though and it was due to just not letting the match build and going too hard with it.

James says he put Jeff out of wrestling and has the Revolution hold Matt.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley is defending. We get the old school long walks through the back to the ring to really make this feel like a big deal. After the big match intros we’re ready to go with nearly twenty five minutes for this match. The fans are behind Angle but Lashley throws him into the corner with ease. A big clothesline puts Angle down again as it’s all champ so far. Kurt goes back to basics with rolling Germans and sends Lashley to the floor, but the champ takes over again with pure power.

Back in and Lashley pounds him down in the corner before starting in on the arm and shoulder. Kurt fights up and escapes, setting up a middle rope shoulder to drop Lashley. It’s time to roll some Germans and Lashley is in trouble. Kurt lets go but snaps off five more Germans before taking down the straps. The ankle lock is countered and Lashley nails the powerslam for two as we take a break.

Back with Lashley going shoulder first into the post and getting caught in the ankle lock again. Lashley rolls through but charges into a boot, setting up the Angle Slam for two. Now the spear connects for two but Lashley takes way too much time going up, allowing Angle to avoid a splash. This time it’s Kurt going up for a high cross body but Lashley rolls through into an ankle lock of his own. Kurt grabs the rope and hits another Angle Slam only to get caught in a cross armbreaker. That gets turned over into another ankle lock with the grapevine and Lashley taps at 20:18.

Rating: B+. It’s really good but it’s clear that Angle just doesn’t have the same reserves he used to. I’m ok with the title win as it feels more like one last reign for Angle instead of making him the long term top guy again. Angle more than deserves a reign like that and if he puts over a young star (which he likely will), this is fine. Lashley looks good in a loss, but the match didn’t hit the levels of epic they were hoping for. Still though, really good stuff.

Overall Rating: A-. Really solid show this week in TNA’s form of a pay per view. It’s a great way to blow off the UK tour and it felt like a major show. The big deal next week is the return of Jeff Hardy, and it’s going to be interesting to see if they can keep this momentum back in Orlando. History suggests otherwise, but this has been their best run in years. Really good show though and it’s nice to see TNA deliver when they were supposed to.

Results

Wolves b. BroMans and Manik/Great Sanada – Edwards pulled down the belts

Austin Aries b. Samoa Joe via DQ when Low Ki interfered

Rockstar Spud b. Low Ki – Underdog

James Storm b. Matt Hardy – Twist of Fate

Kurt Angle b. Bobby Lashley – Ankle lock

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TNA One Night Only – Jokers Wild III: And Now, For A Twist

Jokers Wild III
Date: March 6, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,100
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash

This is the old standard for TNA as this series has somehow reached a third year. Thanks a lot TNA for screwing up your pay per views so I have to sit through even more of these things. It’s another show with a series of qualifying matches for a big gauntlet match for money at the end. Maybe Matthews can save the commentary here. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is the standard preview of the show that we’ve come to know and….I can’t imagine anyone looks forward to these things.

JB and Christy are drawing all of the names before each match. I won’t be mentioning any of these unless something of note happens. All matches are qualifying matches for the gauntlet match main event.

Robbie E./Jesse Godderz vs. Mr. Anderson/Al Snow

Hopefully this is the only required “random” pairing of a regular team. Anderson does Snow’s entrance: “WHAT IS EVERYONE INTERESTED IN??? WHAT DOES MR. ANDERSON REQUIRE???” Robbie pauses for a picture after the bell and says he wants Snow. The fans agree and we get Al vs. Robbie…..for five seconds until Robbie tags out. We’re still waiting on any significant contact until Snow slams Jesse a few times.

Off to Robbie who is terrified of Head. Snow takes him down into something like a Regal Stretch (arm trap STF) and pulls on his nipple. Anderson comes back in to crank on the arm (ignoring the nipple. So much for psychology) before it’s back to Snow, who gets caught in the double team. It’s already SO much easier here with the announcers focusing on the match instead of talking about anything else.

Snow takes Robbie over to the corner and Jesse, ever the schnook, grabs his partner’s arm by mistake and works it over. The non-Bros (sisters?) steal the selfie stick to show Jesse what he did and tensions are teased. Instead we get a double noggin knocker so Anderson and Snow can stand tall. Back in and Robbie interferes, allowing Jesse to nail a dropkick before E. comes in to stomp on the arm for two. The hot tag brings in Snow and everything breaks down. Anderson sneaks Head in to Snow so he can knock Jesse silly, only to get rolled up by Robbie for a surprise pin.

Rating: D+. This was a decent enough match but hokey smoke does the commentary make it easier to sit through. I used to dread these shows because of how horrible Tenay and Taz were but again, Josh Matthews is his average self and it’s more than a huge improvement. The BroMans winning makes sense here and the less I have to watch Mr. Anderson be his run of the mill standard, the better I am.

The BroMans say they’re winning the $100,000 and spending it in one night.

DJZ/Samuel Shaw vs. Rockstar Spud/Awesome Kong

This could be a trainwreck. Thankfully this was taped less than a month before it aired so a lot of this is up to date, but unfortunately some is also ahead of schedule. For instance, Spud is bald here, a week before the hair vs. hair match took place. TNA goes Back to the Future? Spud is very, very happy with his partner. Spud and DJZ get things going and I really want to see DJZ hit on Kong.

They start with a basic cruiserweight style sequence until Spud dances in front of Kong. She tags herself in and actually gets caught in a headlock from DJZ, only to pull him down by the mohawk. Shaw comes in with a creepy mustache but Spud tags himself in to say that Kong is a lady. He stops Shaw from slapping her in the face and hammers away with some Popeye wind-up punches.

Spud gets double teamed in the corner as, get this, the announcers TALK ABOUT UPCOMING SHOWS TO MAKE US WANT TO SEE THEM. Not football, not references 8% of the audience will get, and not inside jokes. They actually do their jobs for a change and it’s just a step beneath glory. Kong gets the hot tag and cleans house with a crotch claw to Samuel and a chokeslam to DJZ, setting up the Jimmy Snuka/Andre the Giant shoulders splash for the pin on DJZ.

Rating: D+. Again this was fine and a big shorter than the first match. It’s still not a good match or anything like that, but Spud is almost always a highlight of these things, even when he has nothing to work with like he did here. Is Shaw even with the company anymore? I don’t remember the last time he was on Impact and I can’t say I’m complaining. The guy is just one idea that has been played to death.

Spud is terrified of Kong so she kisses him. He seems to like it and faints.

Ethan Carter III says luck is power. Luck is having stroke. Luck is having your aunt own the company. Last year he won the competition and burned the money at Burning Man because he’s awesome like that.

Davey Richards/Eddie Edwards vs. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode

If this isn’t the longest tag match of the night, it’s a crying shame. Josh gets his facts wrong by saying Aries has the record for most X-Division Title reigns with six (Sabin had eight). Aries and Roode both try to go to the apron and then both start try to get in. I saw them team live once and they had the most entertaining match of the night.

We finally get down to Richards vs. Aries with Austin taking him down by the wrist. A series of tags leads to top rope elbows to the arm as the announcers talk about where the Wolves came up with their name. Apparently it has to do with teaming together in Wolverhampton, England. This leads to a quick discussion about JB being in that city before and it’s right back to talking about the match. Why does Taz have a job again?

The Wolves double team Aries in the corner and drop elbows on his back, only to have their double dive broken up by a double clothesline. We settle down to Roode dropping a knee on Richards for two. Aries slaps on the Last Chancery and the fans get behind the Wolves. That lasts all of three seconds before it’s back to Roode for a hard clothesline. Davey fights back out of the corner but the double teaming brings him back down.

The match gets a bit boring, so the announcers make predictions for the gauntlet. I love this new team. Aries and Roode keep tagging in and out for chops and punches in the corner. Davey finally comes back with the eternally stupid “make your opponent DDT his partner” spot and the hot tag brings in Eddie. Everything breaks down and Davey has to save his partner from a double suplex, setting up the German suplex into a jackknife cover for two on Roode.

Aries makes the save and sends Davey to the floor before hitting the running dropkick in the corner to Edwards. The Wolves headbutt out of stereo superplex attempts but miss stereo double stomps. The Roode Bomb and brainbuster are escaped as well, setting up stereo rollups for the pin. Eh I prefer monaural but this was good enough.

Rating: B. I think we can pencil this in for match of the night. Yeah it makes it very clear that the drawings are rigged, but this was so much easier to sit through than another comedy match with WACKY partners. There are better matches out there, but this is a classic by One Night Only standards. Good stuff.

Spud, with lipstick on his face, is with Kong and asks about room rates at Motel 6. Kong puts her arm around his shoulders. Spud: “Sup baby?” This cracked me up.

Ethan Carter III is chosen for the next match but has to say all the jokers here are in the audience. He has a pretty good feeling that he might be paired with Tyrus. “Christy, I’ll tumble for you if you tumble for me first.”

Ethan Carter III/Crazzy Steve vs. Tyrus/Knux

Well what are the odds of that? I’m getting a bit tired of thinking something like that over and over. Steve has a pair of Carter’s trunks on because he’s a painted up thief. He redeems himself a bit by doing Ethan’s pose. JB thinks Tyrus is going to lay down for his boss, which isn’t something an announcer just flat out suggests most of the time. Knux’s beard is now curled to either side like pigtails.

Steve and Tyrus get things going but Carter tags himself in to tell the big man to lay down. Tyrus won’t do it though as he could win $100,000….and it’s one finger to the chest for two as Knux makes the save. Steve comes back in to grab a rollup as this slow motion continues.

Knux picks Steve up and walks him around the ring, accidentally kicking Tyrus in the face. We get the Bushwhackers march until Steve rolls Knux up for two. It’s back to Tyrus (I don’t remember a tag in the last two minutes) who misses a splash in the corner, leaving Knux to punch Carter. A dropkick and cross body put Carter down but Tyrus nails Knux from behind to give Carter the pin.

Rating: D. I really don’t care for this kind of match and unfortunately this show feels like it was made by Vince Russo to get all these wacky finishes into three hours. It doesn’t help that they’re just throwing these matches out there and not even trying to hide that the draw is rigged. I’d love to see an actual random draw, just for the fun of it.

James Storm says tonight is a game of chances so even the Revolution aren’t friends and allies tonight.

Eric Young/Bram vs. Magnus/Tommy Dreamer

ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? I’ve sat through every show in this series and I get ERIC YOUNG AND TOMMY FREAKING DREAMER IN THE SAME MATCH??? My early guess: this match is going to suck. Magnus doesn’t even wait on his partner to get here (can you blame him?) and the fight is on in the aisle.

Now the double brawl is on in the aisle with Dreamer and Young going at it. It’s like my greatest nightmare come to life. Some people are scared of death. Some are scared of their loved ones getting hurt. I’m scared of Eric Young vs. Tommy Dreamer. Thankfully they switch off and start fighting in the ring for the opening bell with Magnus working on the arm…..and of course tagging out to increase the suck.

Bram comes in and gets caught in a spinebuster before Dreamer does a People’s Elbow. Seriously. If Tommy Dreamer is the People’s Champion, I’m defecting to the leeches and rodents. Eric breaks it up and Bram (in his violent pink trunks) hammers away on the floor before putting on a chinlock. Dreamer won’t let Young cover him so the heels tag behind the referee’s back to trade places. At least they were polite enough to make a tag.

Young hooks a chinlock as the announcers talk about what the earlier winners do before they head to the gauntlet. This might be stupid, but it’s better than most of the nonsense I usually have to hear. Dreamer finally hooks an atomic drop and the hot tag brings in Magnus to clean house. Suddenly the match is so much less aneurysm inducing. Young gets thrown to the floor and Dreamer puts on a rooster hat. Well of course he does. Idiot. A fat splash gets two on Bram but Young kicks Tommy low to set up Brighter Side of Suffering from Bram for the pin.

Rating: D. Even though Eric Young sucks and I wouldn’t mind seeing him sacrificed to a pagan crocodile god, he’s much more in his element here with a brawling style and a match that means nothing. I get far more annoyed with him when he’s in the main event and World Title pictures, so throwing him in something like this is more acceptable. Dreamer needs to be thrown into the center of the sun. Maybe his tears about ECW dying can cool things down.

The Wolves enjoy being challenged and Eddie thinks the win was a good sign. That’s some serious insight.

James Storm/Gunner vs. Kenny King/Chris Melendez

Can we get a second match with no screwy booking? It can’t be that hard. Storm and King get things going before it’s quickly off to Gunner, who doesn’t seem to care for Kenny’s antics. They trade leapfrogs until King drop toeholds him down, only to run to the floor from an angry Gunner.

Melendez comes in to face Gunner and they’re nice enough to shake hands. Chris wants Storm but James bails to the floor as the fans tell him he has Herpes. Gunner finally tags out by slapping James in the face. Storm easily takes Melendez down and puts on a Figure Four to really hammer in the evil. If nothing else it proves which leg that hold hurts.

That goes nowhere so Storm and King mock saluting each other, drawing in Gunner to clean house. James tags himself back in but gets cut by some Melendez clotheslines. A tornado DDT gets two on Storm and everything breaks down. Matthews calls King an (uncensored) SOB for a cheap shot to Melendez. Storm sidesteps a horrible spear from Gunner which hits Melendez, giving James the pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much to see but for the love of all things good and holy come up with a new way of booking these things. You can almost guarantee that you’ll have a team who has been together before or a team that is currently feuding, but in this case they doubled up on the lame booking.

Young says he and Bram love having extra opportunities to hurt people. Why not go jump on a pile of chainsaws to hurt yourself then?

Tigre Uno/Manik vs. Sonjay Dutt/Gail Kim

Well that’s certainly different. Feeling out process to start with Sonjay and Tigre trading dropkicks but Manik tags himself in. Sonjay cranks on a wristlock until Manik does a way too complicated flipping escape. Gail comes in and slaps Manik in the mask, only to get shoved down. She avoids a springboard missile dropkick though and does a springboard wristdrag with a headscissors to Tigre as a bonus. Back up and Manik throws her down by the hair but Gail puts on something like AJ’s Black Widow.

Everything breaks down and Manik cleans house to a polite smattering of applause. Manik rolls some suplexes on Sonjay as Matthews talks about being a potential X-Division talent back in the day. I think I’ve heard that before and it’s not the most thrilling idea for the division. Sonjay fights out of a chinlock and sends Manik into the buckle as the announcers discuss Grado. I still don’t get it. Kim comes back in and takes Tigre down with a headscissors, followed by Eat Defeat to both guys. Sonjay adds a top rope splash for the pin on Uno.

Rating: D+. Total spot fest here with no flow, direction or anything unique other than Gail being involved. I like it better than just having your standard match and Kim is more than good enough to hang in there with some guys, but the match was just a bunch of spots by guys that don’t seems like they know how to structure a match.

Lashley/Khoya vs. Abyss/Great Sanada

Well that’s one way to push Lashley. This is the last qualifying match. Lashley and Sanada get things started by trading wristlocks until Lashley plants him with a slam. Khoya won’t tag in though so it’s Lashley vs. Abyss. That’s fine with Lashley as he runs Abyss over as well before hitting a nice suplex for no cover.

Khoya drops to the floor to avoid another tag so Lashley hits a delayed suplex for two on Sanada. Abyss comes back in as the announcers talk about Gail Kim’s love of shoes. We get some stable miscommunication as Abyss hits Khoya by mistake and start slugging it out with Khoya getting the better of it. Both guys grab the other by the throat but Storm tells Khoya to come outside and then go to the back.

So it’s a handicap match now with Abyss splashing Lashley in the corner, followed by Sanada choking with some tape. That doesn’t knock Lashley out because this is wrestling, so Bobby gets up and starts cleaning house with clotheslines. Abyss’ chokeslam is no sold and Lashley spears both guys down for the pin.

Rating: D+. That was different and a good way to get Lashley over, but it’s still not a good match for the most part. On the other hand, the Revolution SUCKS. There are far too many people in it and I have no idea what the point of the team even is at anymore. This was another lame match but that’s almost required at this point.

Gauntlet Match

Basically a Royal Rumble with two minute intervals. Awesome Kong in at #1 and Gail Kim in at #2 for another SHOCKING twist. Gail hammers away in the corner but Kong tosses her down with ease. Some right hands drop Gail again and Kong stands on her hair. Jesse Godderz is in at #3 and offers to let the girls keep fighting. Gail forearms him in the jaw and dropkicks him in the corner, only to be thrown over the top and out to the floor. That earns Godderz a right hand to the ribs but AMAZINGLY, Robbie E. is in at #4.

Kong fights them both off again and no sells Robbie’s chops. The BroMans stand on her hands but Kong goes beast mode to shove them off as Rockstar Spud is in at #5. He cleans house with dropkicks and checks on Kong, who splashes the BroMans in the corner. Spud has to hang on to avoid an elimination but gets thrown to the floor through the ropes. That’s perfect timing as Ethan Carter III is in at #6 and the fight is on in the aisle.

They get back in and Carter sidesteps a charging Spud, sending him into Kong instead. The distraught Spud is eliminated and it’s the BroMans, Carter and Kong. All three guys team up to fail at eliminating her so here’s Gunner at #7. The BroMans double team him down as Kong misses a charge and gets low bridged to the floor for an elimination. Eddie Edwards is in at #8 but the heels triple team him as well. There’s nothing to talk about in this match and Davey Richards is in at #9.

The Wolves start cleaning house with their wide variety of kicks. Carter gets splashed by all three good guys and gets thrown over, only to land on the steps for a save. James Storm is in at #10 to give us Storm, Gunner, Richards, Edwards, Robbie E., Godderz and Carter. Storm is fine with waiting at ringside as Carter begs him for help. That story lasts all of ten seconds before Storm gets in and adds to the incredible levels of dullness in this match.

Sonjay Dutt is in at #11 and is quickly Last Called and dumped. That’s probably good as he might have sped things up and gotten them interesting. Gunner gets a Last Call for an elimination as well. Crazzy Steve, still in Carter’s trunks, is in at #12 and tries to dump Carter until Storm makes the save. Eddie pulls Storm’s shirt over his face and chops away as Khoya is in at #13. We’ve got Khoya, Storm, Richards, Edwards, Carter, Steve, Robbie E. and Godderz at the moment.

Steve bites Carters fingers to send him to the steps again but Carter has some Kofi in him and makes a save. Bram is in at #14 and takes his time to stay away from the ring. That goes nowhere so Lashley is in at #15 to eliminate both BroMans and Khoya in short order. Storm chokes Lashley in the corner to slow him down and Eric Young is in at #16. No wonder this match sucks. Eric Young is the grand finale. The final group is Young, Steve, Lashley, Carter, Storm, Edwards, Richards and Bram.

Young piledrives Steve for an easy elimination and the Wolves clothesline Bram to the floor. The Wolves get rid of Storm as well but Young and Gunner dump both of them, leaving us with Lashley, Carter and Young. Bobby clotheslines both of them at once but Carter saves his makeshift partner. A double suplex makes Lashley look strong again but they send him to the apron for more stomping. That goes badly as well as Lashley low bridges Young out, leaving him with Carter. The 1%er is easily countered and Lashley nails a spear for the elimination, FINALLY ending this.

Rating: D-. The wrestlers clearly didn’t want to be in there and much like everything else tonight, it went so fast that they didn’t have time to develop anything. This match felt like it went on forever and you knew Lashley was winning (ok maybe Carter could have won it again) pretty much the second his music hit. It’s more boring than bad but that’s not really a big improvement.

Lashley gets the check and a three and a half minute highlight package takes us out.

Overall Rating: D. I had some slightly elevated hopes for the new commentary team, but they couldn’t save this. They’re light years better than Taz and Tenay and made the show a lot easier to sit through, but it doesn’t make what you’re watching really dull. This was two hours of goofy booking instead of just throwing out random pairings and making it a bit more interesting before a REALLY boring main event. It’s a one idea show and that idea is done in about the first half hour. The lack of effort really shows in these things and they lose their charm way too fast, including on this one.

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Impact Wrestling – March 6, 2015: Stop. Before It Gets Bad.

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 6, 2015
Location: Manchester Arena, Manchester, England
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Taz

Coming out of last week, we seem to not have a #1 contender. Lashley successfully defended the title against MVP, though the match featured a lot of interference. Other than that we have the continuing stories of Mr. Anderson/Spud/Mandrews vs. Tyrus/EC3, which has gone from a comedy feud to one of the more entertaining feuds in the company. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s main event with the Beat Down Clan getting close to taking the World Title from Lashley but Gunner and Drew Galloway made things even enough for Lashley to retain the belt.

Tonight it’s Bobby Roode vs. Kurt Angle vs. Eric Young for the #1 contendership.

Here’s the Beat Down Clan to get things going. Kenny King doesn’t want this Drew Galloway situation to get any further out of control. Drew is known as the Chosen One, but he choose to interfere in BDC business. I thought he was known as rhythm guitarist for some band with three guys. So now, it’s time for the BDC to choose what part of Drew they’re going to hurt.

MVP says this is Beat Down Clan business that was a year in the making. He arrived just over a year ago to become the World Champion but Drew got in the way. MVP is reasonable though and is willing to let Drew come out here and apologize. Galloway shows up in the crowd and says he’s at home right now. He came to the ring last week to stop MVP from stealing the title. He’s surrounded by wrestling fans, not sports entertainment fans.

Drew is here to give the fans a voice and asks some fans their names. Those are the people the BDC is screwing with and that isn’t going to fly. King says they demand retribution and threatens Galloway’s family if he doesn’t get in the ring tonight. Drew wants King one on one so King agrees to send his brothers to the back.

Drew Galloway vs. Kenny King

Both guys are in street clothes. King enziguris him down and MVP comes in for a few stomps. That’s not a DQ due to reasons not explained but Galloway comes back with knees in the corner and a snap suplex. King bails to the floor but Drew is fine with beating him up outside as well. He drops King over the barricade but King gets in some shots to the ribs to take over. A tilt-a-whirl slam onto the apron has King in even more trouble as this has barely been a match so far.

Back in and King drops him ribs first over the ropes and we hit the chinlock. An overhead belly to belly gets two for Kenny but Drew gets all fired up. He gets two off a top rope clothesline but King breaks up the Future Shock (snap double arm DDT). They need to go home already because this is getting bad. King hits a quick springboard Blockbuster for two more and frustration is setting in. He loads up a backslide of all things but gets countered into the Future Shock to give Galloway the pin at 6:25.

Rating: D. I really wasn’t feeling this one as they were just trading spots for a few minutes with no flow or structure to the match. Galloway is talented in the ring but having a big guy as the hero is always kind of awkward, especially when he’s in there against someone not very big. Not a good debut but at least Galloway won.

The BDC chases Drew off post match.

Here’s Roode to talk about the three way tonight. He promises to take out Young and get the title shot in one match. No one can stand in his way, but here’s Angle to disagree. He comes down to the ring but Eric Young sneaks in to go after Roode. Angle pulls him off and gets in a fight with Young, only to have Roode clear the ring.

Video on Awesome Kong vs. Taryn Terrell for the Knockouts Title later tonight.

James Storm talks to Bram about joining the Revolution and asks him to take out Matt Hardy later tonight. Bram seems intrigued.

Before we go to a break, we get a video on the winner of tonight’s triple threat facing Lashley for the title in two weeks. They say his name over and over, show his picture, and show him winning the triple threat. I’ll avoid spoilers, but my goodness TNA, cut this nonsense out.

Video on Kurt Angle.

Matt Hardy vs. Bram

The bell never rings before they start fighting in the corner. Matt avoids a charge and hits the clothesline and running bulldog, followed by a second clothesline to send Bram outside. The brawling favors Bram of course and he takes over by driving Matt into the apron. Back in and some right hands set up a chinlock. Matt fights up and scores with a Side Effect, followed by a moonsault to the legs for two. Bram shoves the referee away though, setting up a low blow and the Brighter Side of Suffering (inverted DDT) for the pin at 4:15.

Rating: D+. Just a quick brawl here but Bram joining the Revolution could be interesting. That being said, they need to actually do something with the team before it gets stale by just sitting there. This wasn’t much of a match though and I’m not wild on another DDT finisher from someone out of the UK.

Bram gets his wrench but Magnus runs down for the save. When Bram left him laying in an alley, Magnus had two choices: go home and hide, or be the kind of man that his son could be proud of. It’s personal now, and Magnus is going to make Bram’s blood stain the holy ground of England.

Spud promises Anderson that he’ll finish things with Ethan Carter III tonight.

Galloway says he’s tired of the Beat Down Clan dominating the show and he isn’t going to stand for it. He has an army in his corner and it begins tonight.

Recap of Spud vs. Carter.

Here’s Spud in a Union Jack flag to thank the fans for getting him through all these problems. Everything has to end though, so he’d like Ethan Carter III to come out here right now, face to face. That’s exactly what he gets with Carter in a suit of his own. Spud wants to end this man against man but Carter goes into his usual speech about his accomplishments.

That’s not what Spud wants to hear though as he tells Carter to shut up. Of course Spud knows everything about Ethan’s career because he was there with Carter every step of the way. If that’s so important to him, fight Spud one on one so he can end Carter’s streak. Carter agrees, provided that Spud puts up his hair. Spud agrees, but thinks Carter’s hair should be on the line too.

Ethan bends down to look Spud in the eye and says challenge accepted, but just remember one thing: in this world, the bad guys win. Carter goes to leave but Spud brings up all the times Carter told him he was a lion or a gazelle. Well he isn’t any of those things, because he’s a man. As usual, this is the best feud TNA has had in months if not years. I can’t believe I’m saying it but my goodness it’s awesome.

Eric Young video.

Knockouts Title: Awesome Kong vs. Taryn Terrell

Taryn is defending and goes right at Kong, only to bounce off the monster and hit the mat. Kong keeps pounding away and slams the champ down, only to miss a charge in the corner. Some right hands stun Kong for a few moments but the Taryn Cutter is shrugged off. The second attempt goes just as well but Kong shoves the referee away for the DQ at 4:15.

Rating: D. This was angle advancement instead of a match and that’s fine. They were clearly setting up the big showdown later on, but this protected Kong at the same time. The problem with someone like Kong is you have to either give her the title or beat her and end her credibility. It’s hard to grade this as a match though as it was basically a squash until the storyline ending.

Taryn gets beaten up post match but Gail Kim runs out for the save.

Video on Davey Richards turning down the Revolution’s offer to join, setting up a rivalry between the teams.

Bobby Roode video.

Tag Team Titles: Wolves vs. Abyss/James Storm

The Wolves are challenging but get jumped by the rest of the Revolution during their entrance. We get the opening bell and everyone brawls in the ring with the Wolves sending Storm into Abyss and making the monster DDT his leader. I really, really hate that spot. Things settle down to Abyss hammering Richards down but missing a splash. Manik pulls Edwards down to the floor to break up the hot tag though and it’s off to Storm.

The Revolution tries to double team but Richards crawls between Storm’s legs for the hot tag to Edwards. Eddie starts cleaning house but eats a Backstabber and the Eye of the Storm for two. Cue Matt Hardy to stare at the rest of the Revolution, allowing Eddie to grab an O’Connor Roll for two. Storm grabs a jumping neckbreaker and tags in Abyss, only to have him get sent to the floor.

The Wolves hit three straight double dives to take out everyone not named Storm but Edwards kicks him down. Manik and Sanada sneak in but Sanada mists Manik by mistakes. Abyss tries to bring in the cowbell but Matt comes in with a Twist of Fate, setting up the top rope stomps from the Wolves (dubbed the Hammer of the Gods) for the pin at 8:15.

Rating: C-. Good night this was a mess and I was losing track of everything by the end. TNA really needs to cut down on the mass carnage and interference in their matches because this isn’t making things any better. The Wolves winning is fine, but three things: who do they defend against, what is the point of the Revolution at this point, and HOW BLIND IS THE REFEREE??? You had all that interference, a cowbell and MIST but he never calls a DQ? Really?

Post break, Matt endorses the new champs.

Spud vs. Carter in the hair vs. hair match is next week in London. Magnus vs. Bram as well.

Eric Young vs. Kurt Angle vs. Bobby Roode

One fall to a finish and the winner gets a title shot in two weeks. More on that later. For the third of five matches tonight, we have a brawl before the bell with Roode and Young beating each other up on the floor. Roode sends Young into the aisle before coming back in for a suplex from Angle. Eric gets back in and tries to German suplex Roode but Bobby grabs the referee. Instead it’s a neckbreaker to put Roode down as Angle is sent to the floor.

Young stays in control but gets small packaged for two, only to take Roode’s head off with a clothesline. A superplex on Roode is turned into a Tower of Doom with Angle powerbombing both guys down. Angle rolls a ridiculous ten Germans on Young but Roode counters the Angle Slam into the crossforehead. That’s countered into the ankle lock (probably because it wasn’t pulling back on Angle) but Roode rolls through into a crosseyes.

Young makes the save but takes the spinebuster from Roode, who gets Angle Slammed for two. There go the straps and Angle puts Young in the ankle lock but Eric makes the ropes. Angle rolls through the Roode Bomb into another ankle lock, only to have Roode roll through and bump the referee. Young hits Roode in the head with a chair, only to have Angle kick him down and hit the Slam on Roode for the title shot at 8:41.

Rating: C-. There were some major issues with this match. First and foremost was Eric Young, because he sucks. He makes things that shouldn’t possibly suck suck. Like an air pump that blows air into things. Eric Young could make it suck. You put Eric Young’s face on the New England Patriots’ jerseys? They suck.

Eric Young is appearing at a frat house and giving away free beer? The frat boys would go to church and drink orange juice instead because Eric Young sucks. Eric Young sucks. He sucks on trains, he sucks on cars, he probably sucks on orange flavored popsicles. Why would he do that? Because orange flavored popsicles suck, just like Eric Young.

So yeah, Eric Young sucks. Other than that though, this match needed to go longer to live up to the hype this match had been given in the show. It’s another short match that didn’t have the time to get anywhere because TNA has to pack everything they can into a single show and fit in all their promos that don’t advance anything.

There’s one last thing that held this match back though: TNA spoiled the ending. Yeah, earlier in the night there was a preview for the March 20 show. Here’s a paraphrased version of the audio. “KURT ANGLE has battled back to the top of TNA (with a clip of Angle pinning Roode) and is now the top contender to the World Title. On March 20, Angle will challenge TNA World Champion Bobby Lashley. Don’t miss this huge clash.”

So all that drama that they could squeeze in to the less than nine minutes they could give this match? Totally worthless, as they had given away the ending already. They did this a few weeks back when Lashley was in Lethal Lockdown. This is something they REALLY need to work on. You could easily have switched the audio to “WHO WON???” and the problem is solved. But it’s TNA, where the most basic things are difficult but having an entertaining show is becoming more common.

Lashley comes out for a staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was the end of the run of really good shows but it was still good. Here’s the thing TNA still has over Raw at the moment: they set stuff up, give it a good build, then mostly deliver on it (after spoiling it half the time). WWE is the opposite as they have a bad build but the payoff is usually good. They need to slow things down though and let some of the matches stretch out. That’s making the shows feel like Attitude Era episodes: they go by so fast that I can’t tell if it was good or not.

The other major issue here is the lack of a focus. So Galloway is now feuding with the entire BDC, the Revolution is….I think feuding with the Hardys and Wolves, Bram might be joining the Revolution and is feuding with Magnus, and we’re getting Roode vs. Young again because they’ve been feuding so now they keep feuding? There’s good stuff in TNA right now, but they feel like they’re holding things together with some strong duct tape. That’s only going to last so long and this episode showed some cracks.

Results

Drew Galloway b. Kenny King – Future Shock

Bram b. Matt Hardy – Brighter Side of Suffering

Taryn Terrell b. Awesome Kong via DQ when Kong shoved the referee

Wolves b. Abyss/James Storm – Hammer of the Gods to Abyss

Kurt Angle b. Bobby Roode and Eric Young – Angle Slam to Roode

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling – February 27, 2015: I’m Running Out Of Things To Complain About

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 27, 2015
Location: Manchester Arena, Manchester, England
Attendance: 3,300
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Taz

It’s off to England now after two pretty solid shows in Scotland. The main story coming out of last week is MVP earning a World Title shot by winning the gauntlet match, even though it was more of a group effort from the Beat Down Clan. Other than that we have the continuing story of Bram vs. Magnus, which should pick up again here in England. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the gauntlet match with Kurt Angle almost surviving the entire BDC but finally getting caught at the end.

Here’s Kurt Angle who doesn’t waste any time in calling out Lashley. Kurt says Lashley doesn’t have to respect him, but he needs to respect the title. Last week Lashley didn’t do anything to help him in the gauntlet match, but Lashley rightly says that wasn’t his fight. Therefore tonight, it’s MVP vs. Lashley and Angle won’t be there to help him. Lashley doesn’t want his help because it’s his own fight. Angle says he won’t help him and leaves.

Lashley is about to do the same but the Beat Down Clan interrupts. Joe says the BDC doesn’t need luck because tonight, the Clan’s MVP will win the title by any means available. MVP says no one has Lashley’s back, so tonight the Clan gets its belt back. This wasn’t bad but the Lashley vs. Kurt exchange was kind of lame. Lashley didn’t want help so Angle emphasizes that he’s not getting help? That came off kind of odd.

The announcers talk about what happened. I really like that they emphasize that Taz used to be a World Champion. A lot of younger fans might not have seen him in the ring (he retired about thirteen years ago) so just throw in that he used to be a big deal. It gives him some credibility instead of just letting him seem like some old guy.

Mr. Anderson/Rockstar Spud vs. Tyrus/Ethan Carter III

Anderson does his intro and Spud gets in a quick intro of his own. Tyrus reluctantly reveals his shaved head and no sells a right hand to the face from Anderson. Mr. hammers away in the corner before it’s off to Spud for more of the same. A bite to the head only makes Tyrus mad though and he plants Spud with a World’s Strongest Slam. Does that make him a mashed potato? Spud misses an elbow from Carter and makes the hot tag to Anderson, who hits a pretty bad looking neckbreaker for two on the big man.

The fans chant for Spud as Tyrus hits Anderson low and slows things down. Back to Carter for some right hands in the corner. I’m so glad his arm injury hasn’t kept him out of the ring for too long. Carter is way too good to be on the sideline that long. Tyrus slams Anderson down but COMPLETELY misses a Vader Bomb (his feet might have hit Anderson’s chest if Anderson hadn’t moved but that’s it), allowing for the tag to Spud. An Underdog (Dudley Dog) drops Tyrus and Anderson adds a low blow and the Mic Check, allowing Spud to get the pin at 7:00.

Rating: C-. This is as entertaining of a feud as there is in wrestling right now. Spud is nailing his underdog roll and Carter has mastered the idea of being an evil heel that you want to see lose. Hopefully that leads to the World Title for Carter, as he’s probably the best heel not named Bully Ray in years for TNA.

We recap the formation of the Trio, which led to the Beat Down Clan and helped Lashley beat Eric Young for the World Title. I always enjoy seeing Eric Young in pain.

After a break, Ethan promises to shave Spud’s hair tonight.

Here’s Taryn Terrell to address Awesome Kong. Kong may have made her intentions clear, so get out here so Taryn can do the same thing. Instead here’s Gail Kim to tell Taryn how tough Kong is. If Taryn thinks Havok was tough, think about what Kong did to her. Taryn knows what she wants and is ready for Kong anytime. Kim leaves and the lights go out. Kong is in the ring and shrugs off everything Taryn throws at her before planting her with the Implant Buster. That could be deadly for Terrell.

The BDC throws the camerman out of their meeting.

We look at the BDC helping Lashley win the World Title back in January and then attacking Lashley just two weeks later.

Austin Aries might have a surprise for us tonight and holds up the briefcase.

Chris Melendez/Brooke vs. Robbie E./Angelina Love

I still don’t get the appeal of Melendez. Yeah it’s impressive that he can get around on one leg, but once you see that it’s pretty much the end of his usefulness. He’s not bad, but he’s a pretty generic power guy other than the leg. Robbie gets in a cheap shot on Chris but gets hammered down and suplexed for two. Off to Brooke vs. Robbie with E. mocking her with Karate Kid crane poses, allowing Love to sneak in with some shots to the back. Some dropkicks send Love over to tag E. but eats a flapjack first. DJZ offers a distraction though, allowing E. to shove Brooke off the top for the pin at 3:26.

Rating: D. Eh it’s a comedy feud so it’s kind of hard to really complain about this match. If nothing else we get to stare at Brooke and E. is so over the top and insane that it’s a lot easier to sit through. As I said though, where was Melendez at the end? He can’t handle someone like the BroMans?

Carter tries to go into Spud’s locker room to shave his head but Anderson makes the save after a break. Tyrus ran in to help out his boss. Didn’t we cover this already?

Gunner wants to know why Angle is leaving but Kurt says Lashley doesn’t want him around. That’s not enough for Gunner who wants the old Angle back. He slaps Kurt in the face but nothing comes of it.

Here’s Austin Aries with something to say. He’s thinking about cashing in this Feast or Fired briefcase tonight, but here’s Samoa Joe to interrupt. Joe isn’t going to allow Aries to cash in the case tonight because he can have trained assassins on him at any given moment. Would those be the ninjas in the panel vans? Aries wants to know where the old Joe has gone and a challenge is thrown out. Joe says bring it so Aries dives through the ropes to take him down.

Austin Aries vs. Samoa Joe

Joined in progress after a break with Aries hammering away in the corner. Joe is too big to have his brain busted though and sends Aries out to the floor. Back in and Joe stomps away before driving a knee into Aries’ ribs. This isn’t the most interesting stuff so far. They slug it out with Aries getting the better of it, only to eat a running boot to the face and the backsplash for no cover.

We hit the bearhug on Aries for a bit before Aries low bridges him to the floor. A big top rope ax handle nails Joe but the brainbuster still doesn’t work. Aries escapes the Muscle Buster and hits some discus forearms to set up the Last Chancery. I’d buy that hold as more of a threat if it ever won anything. Cue Kenny King with the briefcase for a distraction, allowing Joe to put on the Clutch. Aries sends him face first into the case (not a DQ because of course not) and hits a 450 for the pin at 7:55.

Rating: C+. These kind of matches feel like they’re just going through the motions more often than not. There’s almost no reason for these two to be fighting other than they need something to fill in the card. It’s not a bad match or anything, but it just comes and goes and is another match on the show that I won’t remember later.

The BDC comes in post match and puts Aries on the table. Low Ki hits the double stomp to Aries’ ribs but the table doesn’t break all the way. Instead, Joe adds a running backsplash to really send Aries through the wood.

Lashley says MVP has to go through him to win the title. He doesn’t need Angle’s help either. WWE, take note on how to keep your monsters short and to the point like this.

MVP praises Eric Young for injuring Roode last week. Young thinks there’s a hole in his heart and he has to fill it in with revenge. MVP suggests getting some of that revenge on Lashley for taking his World Title last year.

The BDC has stolen Aries’ Feast or Fired briefcase.

Noam Dar vs. Rampage Brown

Both guys are from British Boot Camp but before they can get very far, Bram comes in to beat up both guys with Impaler DDTs at 0:54.

Bram wants Magnus out here right now but he gets Grado instead. Grado dances down and gets in Bram’s face, only to get run over with ease. The third implant DDT puts Grado down again but there’s no Magnus.

TNA World Title: MVP vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley is defending and runs him over to start before hitting a running clothesline in the corner. Some more clotheslines set up a delayed vertical suplex as it’s all Lashley so far. Again, this is what Reigns should be doing. MVP bails to the floor but the rest of the BDC tries to interfere, earning then ejections as we take a break. Back with MVP sending him into the steps for two and kicking the champ in the back.

More stomping ensues as we get to the core problem with MVP: he isn’t the most interesting guy in the ring. Kenny King and Samoa Joe are still at ringside for a stomping as I guess only half of the team was ejected. Back inside and MVP stomps away even more but both guys collide to put them down again. Lashley charges into the corner and plants MVP with a spinebuster for two. MVP tosses him with a suplex but misses the Black Out.

A spear drops MVP but the referee is bumped as well, as per the contractually obligated ref bump in title matches. Cue Eric Young with a chair to Lashley’s back but Bobby Roode comes out to break up a piledriver attempt. Young is gone so Lashley hits a powerslam on MVP, but the BDC breaks up the pin again. Cue Gunner to take out Joe, allowing MVP to hit the Play of the Day on Lashley for two. MVP grabs a chair but Drew Galloway takes him down, allowing the spear to retain Lashley’s title at 15:45.

Rating: C. The wrestling wasn’t great but this was about Lashley fighting off all odds to keep his title. It’s a basic story but TNA is pulling it off well enough. They telegraphed the ending with Angle vs. Lashley earlier in the night and I’m sure MVP will get the title one day, but the BDC is starting to look weak without being able to get the big belt. There was too much insanity here for my tastes but I’ve seen far worse.

Overall Rating: C+. TNA continues its nice roll with another good, although not great show this week. Lashley vs. Angle vs. MVP is an interesting feud but hopefully it doesn’t add up to another triple threat match for the title. The rest of the show is actually more entertaining that I was expecting and the midcard is pretty easily more entertaining than WWE’s. However, is there a reason these guys are all fighting? A midcard title wouldn’t be the worst thing for TNA, but for now it’s surviving well enough.

Results

Rockstar Spud/Mr. Anderson b. Tyrus/Ethan Carter III – Spud pinned Tyrus after a Mic Check from Anderson

Robbie E./Angelina Love b. Brooke/Chris Melendez – Shove off the top

Austin Aries b. Samoa Joe – 450 Splash

Noam Dar vs. Rampage Brown went to a no contest when Bram interfered

Lashley b. MVP – Spear

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SATPVKW

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – February 6, 2015: How To Book A Monster Face

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 6, 2015
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Taz

As is going to be the case all year it seems, pay per view is no longer an option (save for One Night Only because who can forge that series) so for the first time ever, Lockdown is being offered as a free TV broadcast. The main event is Team Angle vs. the BDC with Angle’s team being down a man as Lashley turned down his offer to join. Let’s get to it.

The opening video starts off by focusing on the cage itself before shifting to Roode vs. Young and the Lethal Lockdown main event.

All matches are inside a cage.

Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. James Storm/Abyss

Storm and Abyss are defending and it’s tornado rules. Matthews says he and Taz are ringside and then they’re shown in their studio in Nashville. So Matthews is a liar. Good to know. The Hardys start fast with Poetry in Motion to both guys but they have to stop to deal with the interfering Manik. They just happen to have a pair of handcuffs to tie him to the top rope but the distraction lets the champs take over. Matt and Jeff are sent into the cage over and over with Matt getting the worse of it as we take a break.

Back with Storm hitting a top rope elbow for two on Matt as frustration is starting to set in for the champions. The Hardys quickly fight back for a double two count but Matt misses a moonsault to Storm. Matt doesn’t seem to mind as he hits a top rope Twist of Fate to drop Storm. Khoya ignores the cage as well and pulls Matt through the camera hole to the floor, which doesn’t count as a win because it wasn’t over the top. Back inside, Jeff hits a Twist on Abyss but Sanada Mists him to break up the Swanton. Storm’s Last Call retains the titles at 13:36.

Rating: C. This was more of a spot fest than a coherent match but that’s what you have to expect for a tornado style match. It’s not that easy to get much of a story going without the need for tags and all those other people interfering in the match. Still though, it had enough big spots to open a show and it’s always good to see the Revolution get a win.

Post match the Revolution puts Matt through a table outside and sets up another in the ring. They unhook Mania, though where they got the key isn’t really clear. Manik misses a top rope splash through the table and Jeff fights off most of the Revolution and climbs up, only to get crotched on the cage door and knocked off onto the steps. This is Jeff’s annual “I can’t go to England” injury angle.

MVP has a special offer for Angle tonight. After a break, MVP, King and Young are in the ring with MVP talking about how dangerous this cage really is. They’re ready to face anyone who stands in their way tonight and Young promises to make Roode bleed tonight. Bobby is offered a chance to walk away but MVP switches to Angle. He wants Kurt to come out here and talk to him face to face for a proposal.

Cue Angle, Gunner and Aries as MVP talks about how all three can walk out of here (they just walked in here though) without getting beaten up again. MVP has talked to Angle’s doctor and that knee is being held together by tape and gum. Has this doctor never heard of privacy laws??? Angle and company say they’re not walking away and the brawl is on. Joe and Low Ki come out to give the BDC an advantage and they crush Gunner’s arm in the cage door. The Clan runs away instead of taking advantage of their numbers advantage.

Video on Havok and Kong dominating the company. I still don’t buy Havok as anywhere near Kong’s level after winning like five matches.

Gunner is checked on in the back but he insists he’s starting the match tonight.

Havok vs. Awesome Kong

They start fighting on the ramp with Kong getting the better of it but being sent into the steps. The bell rings before they’re even in the cage with Kong down on the floor. Kong fights out of the spinebuster slam and sends Havok into the steps for her efforts. The fans think this is better than the Divas, which really isn’t covering a lot of ground.

They finally get inside (the girls, not the fans, in case you’re really thick in the head) and ram heads before Havok kicks her down. It just seems to fire Kong up though and she no sells a chokeslam for good measure. A chokeslam puts Havok down and sets up the Awesome Splash for the pin at 5:48.

Rating: C+. This was better than I was expecting, even though the ending was exactly what I expected. There was no reason to think Havok could go toe to toe with Kong, especially given how short Havok’s run in TNA has been. She debuted what, four months ago, which includes the month they were off TV? Kong looked dominant though and that’s the right idea.

Video on Roode vs. Young. They have to have someone bleed in this.

From two weeks ago, Velvet told Angelina that she was fired and starts crying. Love hugs her and smiles at the news.

Lashley is told Angle is looking for him and the champ says he isn’t hard to find.

Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode

Pin or submission only. Roode runs him over to start but eats an elbow to the jaw. The fans already want blood as Eric sends Roode back first into the cage a few times. A belly to belly sets up a chinlock on Roode before a powerslam gets two. Cue MVP with a chair but Roode ducks a big swing. The piledriver is countered into a catapult to send Young into the cage and you can see Eric blade. I really shouldn’t like seeing him in pain this much.

The spinebuster gets two for Bobby and he puts Young on top. A super Roode Bomb is countered with a cage shot and Young’s top rope elbow gets two. Young loads up another elbow onto the chair but Roode gets up and blasts him in the back. The Roode Bomb onto a chair is good for the pin at 7:55.

Rating: D. Well that happened and I still don’t care. At the end of the day, Eric Young isn’t interesting, intimidating, tough, worthy of being in a major story or anything positive that I can think of. This “12 years thrown away” story made my head hurt as these two barely associated for years and the whole “Roode owns Young and makes his life miserable” period is conveniently forgotten. Just get Young back to the comedy jobber guy he’s been for years so I don’t have to put up with this any longer.

Lashley turns Angle down again so Kurt throws him against the wall and tells him to wake up.

The announcers debate the upcoming Top 5.

Mandrews/Rockstar Spud vs. Tyrus

Tyrus easily shrugs off a double teaming to start and shoves both guys into corners. A double Tongan Death Grip has them in trouble but they come back with a double dropkick to the face and then more to the chest. An enziguri is good for one but Spud escapes a powerbomb and climbs all the way to the top of the cage. With a middle finger to Carter, Spud hits a HUGE flip dive to take Tyrus down and Ethan is stunned.

Carter gets up and spits at Mandrews, tricking him into coming out of the cage. Carter trips him up on the way out, sending Mandrews’ head into the steps to make this one on one. Spud is distracted from covering and gets the cage door slammed on his head, setting up a Tongan slam and Asiatic Spike to the neck for the pin on Spud at 5:44.

Rating: C. That big flip and Carter’s facials make this match work better, even though Mandrews really didn’t need to be in the match. I’m digging this feud way more than I was expecting to and I’m actually believing Spud could pull off the upset and beat Carter, even though that wouldn’t make a ton of sense.

Carter goes to shave Spud’s head but JB unplugs his clippers.

We look at Hardy being hurt “moments ago” and say there’s no update.

Roode talks about the fifteen years he’s known Eric and says he made Young bleed, just like he promised. They were best friends but now it’s all gone and it’s time to move on.

Earlier tonight, Robbie E. challenged Brooke to a competition to determine who lost the Amazing Race. They had a dizzy bat challenge before climbing the cage and getting back out with the winner crossing a finish line. Robbie almost won but spent too much time taking a picture, allowing Brooke to hit him low and win. This was heavily clipped instead of showing the full thing.

Team Angle vs. Beat Down Clan

Kurt Angle, Gunner, Austin Aries, ???

MVP, Kenny King, Samoa Joe, Low Ki

Lethal Lockdown, meaning two men start for two minutes and then a team (determined by a coin toss) gets to send in its second man. After two minutes the team that lost the coin toss gets to send in its second man to tie things up for two minutes. The teams continue to alternate until all participants are in when it’s first pinfall or submission wins. There are weapons provided inside the cage for the duration of the match this year, as opposed to them not coming down until the last man enters in previous editions.

King and Gunner get things going with Kenny going after the injured arm. Gunner whips him into the cage and blasts him in the back of the head with a trashcan lid to keep King in trouble. He chokes King with a nightstick but Low Ki comes in to make it 2-1. They’re already going quickly through this match.A big trashcan lid shot to Gunner’s head gives the BDC control and King holds him for kicks to the chest. The beating continues until Austin Aries comes in for the tie. Austin immediately starts speeding things up and blasts King in the ribs with the nightstick.

Gunner opts for a tennis racket (cue the Jim Cornette reference from Taz) but it’s Samoa Joe to give the BDC another advantage. More weapons shots have Team Angle in trouble as this is getting very repetitive, just like almost all Lethal Lockdown matches. Angle ties it up again and takes a hockey stick to his ribs upon entry. Kurt doesn’t seem to mind and German suplexes Joe before rolling Kenny up out of instinct. Team Angle gets beaten down with more weapons shots until MVP completes the BDC.

Pins and submissions are allowed now as all the announced wrestlers are in. Back from a break with the BDC destroying everyone in sight with quadruple teaming. Angle finally gets back up and blasts them with the trashcan lid. The comeback is short lived though as the BDC destroys them again….and here’s Lashley. This would be more exciting if TNA hadn’t shown him appearing four times now in their previews for next week.

He extends his hand to MVP but doesn’t let go, pulling the leader into a clothesline. Lashley cleans house but gets taken down into the corner and choked out by MVP. Angle counters Joe’s Muscle Buster into the ankle lock as Gunner Gun Racks King and Aries puts Ki in the Last Chancery. Lashley spears MVP down for the pin at 20:23.

Rating: C+. Bobby Lashley is exactly what Roman Reigns should be. He’s big, he’s strong, he runs through people, and he barely ever speaks because his actions do all his talking for him. I’ve had a lot of fun watching Lashley break people in half over the last few months and he’s far more entertaining than Reigns more often than not. Put Reigns on a roll like this and build it as a clash of the titans against Lesnar and I’d want to see it. Some guys just don’t need to have a really detailed character and both Lashley and Reigns fit that mold.

The rest of the match was just there and followed the format of almost every single Lethal Lockdown match in history, minus the big spot on top. You knew it wasn’t going to really crank up until the end of the match which makes the first seventeen minutes or so pretty dull stuff. I can only see a trashcan lid to the back of the head to change momentum so many times.

Overall Rating: C+. It’s a decent enough show but as usual, most of these matches don’t need to be inside a cage. This is very similar to the Elimination Chamber or Hell in a Cell PPV: the calendar alone said these matches had to be in cages and there really wasn’t a reason for a lot of them to be under these rules. Look at Kong vs. Havok and see that the cage didn’t change a thing. The Hardy bump could have been done off the top rope for the same ending and Spud could have hit the same move off the top rope. Only the main event required a cage and it didn’t really change much. Decent show but not necessary.

Results

James Storm/Abyss b. Hardys – Last Call to Jeff

Awesome Kong b. Havok – Awesome Splash

Bobby Roode b. Eric Young – Roode Bomb onto a chair

Tyrus b. Mandrews/Rockstar Spud – Asiatic Spike to Spud

Team Angle b. Beat Down Clan – Spear to MVP

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SATPVKW

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – January 30, 2015: The Fastest PPV Build Of All Time

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 30, 2015
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Taz

The World Title picture is starting to pick up again as Bobby Roode, Kurt Angle, Austin Aries and MVP all have their eyes on Lashley’s title. It’s hard to say what’s coming up next week at Lockdown as nothing has been announced yet. You can guess what some of those matches will be but the main event hasn’t been set in stone so far. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look back at MVP taking Lashley’s title belt after a brawl.

Here’s Bobby Roode with Lashley’s title, which he picked up on the street after chasing off the BDC, to open the show. Roode talks about how he wishes this title belonged to him but it doesn’t right now. It was stolen from him a few weeks ago and he’s going to get his hands on Eric Young to pay him back for what he did.

As for the title, the only two people with a claim to it are he and Lashley, so here’s the real champ to get his belt back. Roode says this title belongs to Lashley but he wants a rematch tonight. Lashley agrees and starts to walk away but Roode asks why wait. This brings out Austin Aries with his Feast or Fired briefcase. Do you remember wrestling before briefcases? I miss those days. The fans are pleased to see him (Aries: “You know my name!”) and he thinks he should cash in his briefcase here in New York City.

He isn’t sure if he should do it now or wait until later on after these two have fought. This brings out MVP who says he’s disappointed in Lashley for saying the title is his. That title belongs the BDC and MVP wants to fight Lashley for the title right now. Lashley tells Aries to hold onto the briefcase for now, because he’ll fight all three of them for the title tonight. This would be yet another major match announced with next to no build that could have been the culmination of about five weeks instead of fifteen minutes.

A voiceover announces Team Angle vs. Team BDC next week in Lethal Lockdown. The clips show who will be in the match. Well that’s one way to set up one of the biggest matches of the year.

Angle says he’ll assemble his team tonight and know who is fighting in Lethal Lockdown next week. And it might be surprising if you tuned back in from commercial thirty seconds late.

Knockouts Title: Madison Rayne vs. Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell

One fall to a finish and Taryn is defending. We get some stills of Will Ferrell hitting her in the face with a basketball in a scene from Ferrell’s new movie. It’s a fast start with Taryn going for a fast pin before hair dragging Gail down. She misses a charge into the corner and gets hit with a running cross body to the ribs as Madison is on the floor. Madison comes back in and gets suplexed for two but elbows Taryn in the jaw for the same.

Gail runs back in and gets caught in a neckbreaker (called a Diamond Cutter by Josh) from Madison at the same time Rayne catches Taryn in a DDT. Kim takes Madison down in something like Konnan’s Tequila Sunrise but she pulls forward on the leg instead of backwards like a half crab. That’s quite a different version and looked good at the same time.

The champ breaks it up by adding a dragon sleeper to Kim and all three head to the floor. Madison flapjacks Terrell onto the steps and sends both girls face first onto them for good measure. They head back inside with Madison escaping Eat Defeat and avoiding a cross body, only to walk into an RKO to retain Taryn’s title at 6:00.

Rating: B-. This was far better than I was expecting as they didn’t stop for a second in the whole match. Making Taryn the fighting champion who goes up against anyone she can is a good way to get her over and the fans seem to be responding to her. They still need some fresh blood in the division and Kong would be a good option.

Announced for Lockdown next week: Havok vs. Awesome Kong and Abyss/James Storm vs. the Hardys for the Tag Team Titles.

Magnus is walking the street and says he and Bram are going to have a drink and talk about their problems.

Rockstar Spud is showing Mark Andrews around New York City but doesn’t quite know the names of some landmarks (the Empire State Building is the Washington Monument for example). The point is they’re challenging Tyrus and Ethan Carter III for a tag match tonight.

Here’s Tommy Dreamer to say he hasn’t lied to the fans in 25 years and he isn’t going to tonight. He calls out Eric Young to say something to his face. Oh good grief seriously? These two together is what I get for watching these guys for years??? Young says this isn’t Dreamer’s business but Dreamer talks about his history with Roode and Young in TNA. Tommy has watched him go from a nothing joke to the World Champion.

He tells Young not to turn his back and burn bridges with Roode or the fans. Eric: “You’re a fat loser from this dump.” He wants to blow the bridge up so Tommy takes his jacket off. Tommy says this is all about a title shot, but did Young ever ask Roode for a shot? That earns Dreamer a piledriver but Roode comes out for the save.

The Hardys are ready for their title shot next week but Jeff has a Monster’s Ball match with Abyss first. He’s brought some friends named kendo, cookie and barbed wire.

Magnus goes into a bar and finds Bram.

Kurt Angle goes into Gunner’s locker room and asks him to be in Lethal Lockdown next week. Gunner isn’t sure so Angle slaps him in the face.

Magnus and Bram are in the bar where Bram says that briefcase was his. Magnus points out that he won a Tag Team Title shot and who else is going to be his partner? It’s Bram’s temper that has held him back over the years and he’s gotten Bram a job here. They’re not 18 years old anymore and they can’t just get in fights when they don’t get their way. This is about Magnus’ family and putting a roof over his son’s head and food on his table.

Bram asks to see a picture of Magnus’ son and says he has Magnus’ eyes. They toast to their future and leave. Bram shows Magnus the way out and says he’ll handle the bill. Magnus realizes he’s in a dead end and Bram jumps him from behind, ramming Magnus into a few doors and punching him in the back of the head. This actually worked really well.

Josh and Taz discuss what Bram just did.

Jeff Hardy vs. Abyss

This is Monster’s Ball and they’re shown fighting in the back before coming into the arena for the opening bell. Jeff is in control early and rams Abyss into whatever he can as they get down to ringside. He takes too long to set up a table though and gets kicked away, allowing Abyss to start loading up weapons in the ring. That takes too long as well though and Jeff hits a running forearm and basement dropkick for two.

The Twisting Stunner sends Abyss into the corner for Poetry in Motion (chair instead of Matt), knocking the monster out to the floor. Jeff tries a dive but crashes through the table to change momentum. Abyss brings in the tacks but takes a cheese grater between the legs. He’s still able to sidestep a charging Jeff though and sends him face first into the chair wedged in the corner. That was one heck of a crash. Is it any wonder Jeff is such a mess? It’s Janice time but as always it gets stuck in the buckle, allowing Jeff to hit the Twist of Fate but the Revolution comes in.

Cue Matt Hardy to cane everyone he can but Storm cracks him with a trashcan. The Last Call knocks Matt out but the Wolves come in for another save. Double suicide dives take out the rest of the Revolution but Abyss pours out the tacks. He takes too long with it again though and Jeff sunset bombs him onto the tacks, setting up the Swanton for the pin at 9:06.

Rating: C-. You know, if I remember right, these two had the exact same match with the exact same ending whenever they last did this match. I’m completely over Monster’s Ball as it’s nothing interesting anymore and is just the same weapons spots with the same guy (as Josh said, Abyss has been in 95% of the Monster’s Ball matches. Even if that’s not true, it certainly seems like it). It was passable, but by this point there’s nothing interesting in these things.

Storm is mad at Abyss for losing. I really hope they’re not teasing a split already.

Matt says he’ll always have his brother’s back.

We recap the fourway being set up.

Aries appreciates Lashley being a fighting champion and implies he’s cashing in if he loses.

Rockstar Spud/Mandrews vs. Ethan Carter III/Tyrus

Yes his name is Mandrews because there are no British wrestlers who aren’t skinny guys with bleached blond hair. Carter comes out and says the request for this match is denied. However, they have a replacement.

Rockstar Spud/Mandrews vs. BroMans

Yes his name is still Mandrews because wrestling names make my soul hurt. The BroMans jump Andrews to start and plant him face first, drawing in Spud so the BroMans can hit a double knee to the head. Robbie charges into a boot in the corner and the hot tag brings in Spud for some kicks to the leg and punches to the jaw. A double crotch claw has the BroMans in trouble and he takes off the bowtie, setting up a Dudley Dog on Robbie and a Shooting Star from Andrews is good for the pin at 2:39.

Robbie jumps Spud post match and sets up Andrews/Spud vs. Tyrus in a cage next week.

After a break Spud goes on a rampage about how he’s going to get Ethan because he isn’t a loser.

The announcers preview Lockdown.

TNA World Title: Lashley vs. Austin Aries vs. Bobby Roode vs. MVP

Lashley is defending and this is one fall to a finish. MVP bails to the floor but Roode and Aries force him back inside. He realizes what that means and tries to fight Lashley, only to get punched by all three guys. Everyone pairs off with Lashley stomping Roode in the corner but Roode comes back with a Blockbuster. He gets to his feet and eats Aries’ missile dropkick but Roode sends Austin to the floor. MVP goes after Roode’s knee but charges into a spinebuster to leave Roode as the only man standing as we take a break.

Back with Lashley powerslamming Roode for two with Aries making another save. Lashley powers out of a brainbuster attempt but gets low bridged out to the floor, setting up Aries’ suicide dive. MVP hits his running boot to Roode’s jaw, followed by an exploder suplex for two. Here’s a sign of things changing in TNA: Taz started stumbling over all the three letter names involved in the match (it happens), made a quick joke about it, and got right back to commentary. If this was still he and Tenay, they would still be making fun of it ten minutes later.

The Ballin Elbow gets two on Roode but Lashley comes back in with a Dominator to MVP, sending him to the floor. Aries nails a top rope ax handle to deck MVP again before Roode puts MVP in the Crossface. This time it’s the champ making the save and a Tower of Doom sends everyone not named MVP down. Cue Eric Young with a chair to Roode, leaving Aries to counter the spear into the Last Chancery. MVP breaks it up but gets sent to the floor with a discus forearm. Aries loads up a dive but gets speared in half to retain Lashley’s title at 13:11.

Rating: B-. Fun match here but I would have liked to see it go on longer. Lashley retaining here is a good sign as they’re clearly going with Lashley vs. the BDC for the next few weeks if not months and that should have some interesting stories. I’m still not as high on MVP as a lot of people are but he did fine here. As usual, Aries stole the show.

The BDC and Young (again, why is he not a member?) comes in post match but Angle and Gunner make the save.

After a break, everyone is still at ringside. Roode challenges Young to a cage match next week and the challenge is accepted because Roode wants to make him bleed. Aries comes in with his briefcase and says he should be on Team Angle next week. Angle accepts and now it’s Lashley’s turn. Kurt asks him to join the team so he doesn’t have to deal with MVP for the rest of his career. Lashley turns him down and walks away to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. I really liked the show this week, even though they had to fly through everything to set up Lockdown in a hurry. The wrestling, when it actually happened, was good for the most part and they kept things moving fast. This was about setting up stuff for the future and they accomplished that quite well, with some decent wrestling to go with it. Solid show this week and their best since they’ve been on Destination America.

Results

Taryn Terrell b. Gail Kim and Madison Rayne – RKO to Rayne

Jeff Hardy b. Abyss – Swanton Bomb

Rockstar Spud/Mandrews b. BroMans

Lashley b. Bobby Roode, Austin Aries and MVP – Spear to Aries

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SATPVKW

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – January 23, 2015: The Fastest Two Hours In Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 23, 2015
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Tazz, Josh Matthews

The big story tonight is Feast or Fired, TNA’s big Money in the Bank style match with three potential title shots up for grabs, plus a lone pink slip. This is usually a huge mess but the fallout can change a lot of things going forward. The other situation is the Beat Down Clan walking off with Lashley’s World Title. Let’s get to it.

Feast or Fired

Davey Richards, Eddie Edwards, Samuel Shaw, Magnus, Bram, Rockstar Spud, Austin Aries, Robbie E., Jesse Godderz, DJZ, Gunner, Crazzy Steve

It’s a ladder match with briefcases hanging over every corner. Only four people win and everyone else walks away with nothing, which isn’t the worst outcome. The lights are very low again, likely covering up the low attendance. Again, this is in New York City. There really shouldn’t be an excuse to not draw a thousand people to a wrestling show, assuming the tickets aren’t outrageous.

The match is a huge brawl to start and Steve goes for an early briefcase, only to have Velvet Sky offer a distraction to break it up. She winds up going up and getting a case for Robbie, meaning he gets to leave early. Steve chases Robbie and the Beautiful People off to clear out the ring a bit. Spud goes up but isn’t tall enough to grab the case. Everyone but Shaw and Spud fight to the floor but Gunner pops back in to crotch Shaw. Aries dropkicks Gunner in the back of the head, only to be sent to the floor by Spud. Using Gunner as a platform, Spud climbs up and pulls down a case.

Robbie E. knocks Aries down again but stops to get a kiss from Angelina, allowing the Wolves to kick him down. The Wolves load up a dive but stop due to an Angelina distraction. Aries has the ring to himself and takes down the third briefcase, THEN hits the dive to take everyone out. Bram and Gunner get back in for a brawl on the pole but it’s Magnus powerbombing both guys down, leaving Magnus to take down the last case at 7:41. Bram isn’t pleased with Magnus taking the case.

Rating: D+. I’m sorry for all the play by play in this but there’s almost nothing else to do in one of these things. It’s almost all about the aftermath and if you’re lucky enough to get something fun in the middle like Spud climbing up onto Shaw’s back then so be it. There just wasn’t much to see here but there rarely is in Feast or Fired.

Lashley is coming to the ring.

Magnus says the pressure is on with the case when Bram comes up and says that was his. Magnus isn’t impressed and says calm down because he got Bram his job here. Security has to break them up. You knew this split was coming eventually and it makes perfect sense.

We look back at the BDC beating Lashley down and leaving with the title last week.

A bandaged Lashley calls out the Beat Down Clan to bring him his title. He gets Kenny King minus the belt, who says Lashley is too ungrateful to make it in the BDC. Lashley couldn’t beat Roode without the BDC, where everyone is a potential World Champion. Without blinking, Lashley still wants his title. King says get a referee out here but doesn’t want to wrestle in front of a bunch of people who won’t appreciate him. Cue the BDC to surround the ring for the match.

Kenny King vs. Lashley

Non-title and Lashley is wrestling in an American Top Team (his MMA team) shirt. King hammers away in the corner to start but Lashley throws him down with a delayed vertical suplex and takes off the shirt. Kenny misses a springboard and gets speared down, drawing in the BDC for the DQ at 2:37.

MVP says if Lashley wants his title, come get it in the streets.

Havok vs. Gail Kim

Gail jumps her in the aisle to start and hits a nice cross body off the apron. They head inside for the bell with Havok taking her down in the corner and driving forearms in the corner. Some kicks don’t get Kim anywhere and a bearhug spinebuster gets two for Havok. A hard running knee to the face knocks Gail silly and she’s holding her eye. The announcers say this is a message to Awesome Kong, which would be better than Havok’s current resume. The referee calls Havok off but gets shoved down, drawing the DQ at 4:06. Total destruction otherwise.

Rating: C-. Well they accomplished the goal of making Havok look like a monster, but I’m still not interested in seeing her vs. Kong. At the end of the day, Havok has only been around a few months and probably lost almost as many matches as she has won. It just doesn’t add up to the year plus of dominance for Kong.

Post match Havok grabs Kim by the throat but here’s Kong for the showdown. Havok’s forearm has no effect and Kong clotheslines her to the floor.

We recap Ethan Carter III challenging Jeremy Borash to fight him last week.

Tigre Uno vs. Khoya

This is Khoya’s debut as part of the Revolution. Tigre kicks at the legs to start, drawing Storm up to the apron to slap him in the face. It fires Khoya up to hit a bad looking fall away slam, followed by a Sky High for the pin at 1:04.

Storm says he’ll be facing Matt Hardy tonight and he’s stronger than any demon Jeff has ever faced. He’s stronger than any pill Jeff has taken and any bottle he’s ever drank. There’s always room for one more in the Revolution. That’s quite the promo.

Roode comes in to see Angle and says he doesn’t care about their tag match tonight because he wants Eric Young one on one. Angle says Roode has to focus to win the title back, because if he goes in alone, he’s going to lose. I’m having a hard time getting behind the idea of Roode vs. Young again when Young beat him in the big showdown last week. But hey, why build to a match when you can have it with no build, right TNA?

We recap Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode with Josh saying they’ve been best friends for twelve years. That’s some creative history to put it mildly.

Very quick recap of Feast or Fired.

Spud says he used to be a gopher and now he feels like he’s moved forward in his career. Even if he’s fired, he’s going to punch Ethan Carter right in the face, but it’s worth the gamble.

Eric Young/Low Ki vs. Kurt Angle/Bobby Roode

Angle and Low Ki get things going in a match that might never have taken place before. Ki gets taken down to the match and it’s off to Roode vs. Young. Josh tries to figure out the relationship between Young and the BDC, asking the same question I’ve had: if he has the same enemies and associates and teams with the BDC, why don’t they just add him to the team? Low Ki comes back in and hammers away in the corner for two but gets caught in a superplex, allowing for the hot tag to Angle.

Everything breaks down and the Angle Slam plants Low Ki, setting up the ankle lock but Eric makes the save. Roode puts Low Ki in the crossface but Angle brings in a chair. Joe and MVP come out on the stage for a staredown, allowing Roode to break up the hold with another chair, giving Low Ki the pin at 5:11. Our heroes ladies and gentlemen.

Rating: D. This didn’t have time to go anywhere because we have to get 194 other things in on every episode. However, the faces lose again because that’s what happens in TNA. It’s the same story we’ve gone through time after time now, leading up to what is probably going to be a long, drawn out story of the faces being downtrodden until someone rises up to win a single big match, leading to the heel stable implode over several months. How do I know this? Well seeing it a dozen or so times with almost nothing changes gives you a good idea.

MVP is outside the arena on the street, telling Lashley to come and get his title.

We recap Rockstar Spud splitting from Ethan Carter III and Jeremy Borash being dragged into it by saying he supports Spud.

Ethan Carter III vs. Jeremy Borash

Carter introduces himself because he’s fighting the announcer. JB comes out with Spud and shakes hands with Mark Andrews, the winner of British Boot Camp 2. Carter still has the mic in his hand and does commentary for the match. Borash finally shoves him away and takes the mic. The fans like to tell Carter that he can’t wrestle, but he can’t announce either.

Borash actually nails Carter in the jaw and knocks him into the corner, only to get taken down with a tackle. The beating is on but Carter yells at Spud, drawing in both Spud and Tyrus with the big man dropping him with a heart punch. Andrews comes in with a springboard dropkick as the match is thrown out at about 2:00.

A double dropkick puts Tyrus on the floor and Andrews hits a nice shooting star to take everyone out.

Matt Hardy vs. James Storm

Matt hits a quick running clothesline in the corner to start and they’re quickly on the ramp. Hardy stays on offense by sending Storm into the steps over and over, followed by an elbow from the apron to the back. Back in and Storm puts him on the middle rope for a Backstabber (now called the Lung Blower) to take over. A quick Side Effect gets two for Hardy as the darkness over the crowd is even more noticeable than before. The people there are making noise but the visual is horrible. Closing Time sets up the Last Call but Matt ducks and counters the Eye of the Storm into a small package for the pin at 5:17.

Rating: D+. This really didn’t do anything for me and felt like they were just doing moves to each other until one of them won. I’m really not caring to see Hardys vs. Revolution, but then again I’m not wild on Storm as a Tag Team Champion again. At least it’s better than some of the stupid teams they could have had.

Post match Hardy turns down a handshake offer, drawing in Abyss to help Storm hit a Last Call. Abyss gets out Janice but Jeff Hardy makes the save with a chair. Jeff challenges Abyss for Monster’s Ball next week. Again?

A preview for next week shows Lashley with the title in a pretty big spoiler.

Samoa Joe comes up to MVP on the street but MVP says he has this.

It’s time for the reveal of the briefcases. There’s a World, Tag Team and X-Division Title match and a pink slip. Robbie E. has a camera on a stick to record himself and Velvet Sky’s every move. Rockstar Spud goes first and has…..an X-Division Title shot. Magnus’ case contains…..a Tag Team Title shot. So it’s Robbie E. or Austin Aries with the pink slip or World Title shot.

Back from a break with Aries getting in a Stuart Scott reference by saying he feels as cool as the other side of the pillow. Robbie points out that Velvet Sky grabbed the case and has the footage to prove it. In other words, the case belongs to her. As luck would have it, Velvet is the one getting fired, meaning Aries gets the World Title shot. Robbie gets on the table and dances, shouting that he still has a job, leaving Velvet in tears.

Lashley goes outside and beats up MVP on the street. MVP punches him back and they head inside, likely to avoid getting arrested. The rest of the BDC jumps Lashley and beat him back outside until Roode and Angle make the save with a pipe. Roode picks up the belt and stares at it to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show goes by so fast that it’s hard to tell if it’s good or not. They keep it moving so fast that it’s almost impossible to remember everything that happens, but as usual they’re flying through almost everything they have in a week or two. It’s not a bad show, but they really need to slow down instead of just burning through everything they have. For instance, Lockdown is in two weeks and while you can see most of the card coming from here, the show hasn’t even been mentioned yet because we have to get everything else in. Decent enough show this week but it’s typical TNA.

Results

Magnus, Rockstar Spud, Austin Aries and Robbie E. won Feast or Fired

Lashley b. Kenny King via DQ when the BDC interfered

Gail Kim b. Havok via DQ when Havok shoved the referee

Khoya b. Tigre Uno – Sky High

Eric Young/Low Ki b. Kurt Angle/Bobby Roode – Ki pinned Roode after a chair shot from Young

Ethan Carter III vs. Jeremy Borash went to a no contest

Matt Hardy b. James Storm – Small package

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Impact Wrestling – January 16, 2015: Here We Go Again

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 16, 2015
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Taz

This is the debut on Fridays which will be their regular night. The big story coming out of last week is Lashley taking the World Title back from Bobby Roode and what appeared to be the formation of another heel stable as Eric Young turned on Roode and seemed to join forces with MVP, Kenny King, Samoa Joe and Low Ki. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s four title matches with Aries and Lashley winning the X-Division and World Titles respectfully.

Josh is in the control room and says we’re going to see this show in a way we’ve never seen before. It’s going to be more interactive and behind the scenes than ever before. Taz thinks the idea sounds cool. The two of them will be in various locations throughout the night.

Roode says nothing is more important than the title and Eric Young cost him the belt last week. He doesn’t know why, but he wants Eric Young one on one tonight. They kept this simple and Roode sold the intensity very well.

Here are MVP, Joe, Low Ki, King and a woman I don’t recognize. Taz and Josh are in a booth and are shown on a split screen. MVP says you can’t keep a good man down and after a quick lane changes, he’s right back in the driver’s seat. He’s always known it was him against the world since the day he started wrestling. He knew he had to surround himself with people he knew, so he went to the family. These men traveled the roads with him 500 miles a day for a hot dog and a handshake. They are known as the Beat Down Clan and they’re “nobody to F….mess with.”

MVP introduces Young but emphasizes that he is not part of the BDC. The fans tell Eric that he sold out, but he’s all serious and says that doesn’t matter. Young, with a haircut, says MVP did something for his family that made Eric change his opinion. Eric had a brother once. He took care of Roode and even gave him one of the first title shots. Where was his title shot when Roode won the belt? Maybe Roode was afraid of losing again, because Young is a world class man and friend. When Young was laid up, he only got a text message from Roode, but MVP called him up and told him the truth.

MVP says he planted a seed in Young and it grew to a sequoia. Now it’s time for the World Champ, but Lashley doesn’t come out to his music. MVP introduces him again but gets Kurt Angle in wrestling gear, sporting a big knee brace. He says Young is going to pay for his sins tonight when Roode gets his hands on him. Angle promises to make every one of them tap. Joe gets out of the ring and gets right in Kurt’s face but gets a punch to the jaw. The entire BDC gets in his face but security breaks it up. Angle wants Joe right now and apparently that’s good enough.

Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe

This is joined in progress after a break with Joe working on the knee and slapping on a leg bar. He switches it up to something like a figure four as we go split screen to see a producer trying to find Lashley but there’s no one in his dressing room. Angle escapes the hold and starts rolling the Germans. Joe shrugs it off and hits the corner enziguri, only to have the Clutch countered into the ankle lock. That’s quickly escaped as well but the Angle Slam (what knee injury?) gets two. There’s the ankle lock again but this time the roll through takes out the referee. A low blow sets up the Clutch and Angle taps at 6:15 shown.

Rating: C-. It really amazes me how fast TNA can go from establishing a new hero (well as new as Angle can be) to having him lose in the middle of the ring. No it wasn’t clean, but couldn’t they have made this wait a bit longer? TNA seems terrified of the idea of building up a hero and this felt like even more of the same for yet another heel stable.

The BDC comes in to beat down Angle but Roode makes the save with a chair.

Back from a break with Roode sitting in the ring in the chair. He says this has already gone too far, which the fans agree with due to their ROODE GOT SCREWED chant. He’s been here a long time and this ring is his home. Roode may live for wrestling, but tonight in New York City, this is about payback. Another short but intense promo from Roode.

Taz and Matthews are in the booth again to talk about Impact: Unlocked tomorrow morning about 10am. This is a behind the scenes look at TNA, including power rankings and special features like this. We see an interview with Magnus, talking about doing this to provide for his family. His son looks up at him and he wants to make him proud. Another clip says he’d be fine with being a free agent in a market like this.

We look at JB getting his hair shaved last week.

Spud apologizes to JB but Borash isn’t really upset. He knows Carter will get what’s coming to him one day.

The Revolution is in a balcony to watch the next match.

Hardys vs. Wolves

Winners get a title shot against the Revolution. Matt and Eddie get things going with the Hardys quickly taking over, allowing for a tag to Jeff (big reaction). A nice headscissors takes Davey down and a double belly to back suplex gets two. The Hardys hit clotheslines from either side but everything breaks down and the Wolves send both Hardys into opposite corners with Matt getting tied in the Tree of Woe.

A drop toehold from Eddie sets up an elbow to the back from Davey for two. Davey fires off the kicks in the corner but misses the top rope stomp, allowing Matt to hit the Side Effect. It’s off to Jeff vs. Eddie as everything breaks down again. The Wolves throw Matt to the floor but he DDTs both guys down. Jeff is next to a different corner so he walks across the top rope (think Old School or Elix Skipper’s cage walk) to get to the other corner and dive on everyone else.

Back in and the Swanton hits Eddie’s knees and ReDRagon’s Chasing the Dragon (with a Falcon’s Arrow instead of a brainbuster) gets two on Jeff. The Hardys make a blind tag and Eddie takes another Side Effect. Jeff gets crotched on top and Eddie hits a Twist of Fate for two but Jeff Swantons in for the save. Poetry in Motion hits Eddie and the Twisting Stunner sets up an elevated Twisting Stunner for the pin at 10:00.

Rating: B. This was really entertaining and good if you don’t mind your tag match having almost no tagging. It got a lot better near the end but I could go for other teams besides the Hardys getting title shots. I can live with it though as long as it doesn’t lead to Jeff vs. Matt again.

Next week is Feast or Fired and Bram says he’s going to feast.

Eric Young is worried about Roode coming for revenge.

Ethan Carter III and Tyrus take over the production booth. Carter: “Ground control to major bald please.” They want the cameras on Jeremy Borash and we see his mostly bald head. Carter knows JB thinks he’s Heisenberg and tough now, so how about they have a match next week. JB has thirty minutes to decide.

Lashley has arrived.

Bobby Roode vs. Eric Young

No DQ and it’s a brawl in the aisle to start. Taz sums up the feud in simple terms: “The guy in the green screwed over the guy in the black and the guy in the black is ticked.” Back from a break with the fight in the crowd and a split screen showing Lashley going into his dressing room with no comment. Young takes it back to ringside and stomps on Roode’s head before chopping him against the barricade. Eric Young just looking all stoic doesn’t make me care about him TNA.

More forearms stop Roode’s comeback attempt, because Heaven forbid a good guy gets the crowd going. Two chairs are brought in and Young puts one in the corner. Back in and Roode fires off some right hands before nailing a nice spinebuster. The Roode Bomb onto a chair is countered and Young sends him head first into the corner chair. A piledriver onto the chair is enough to pin Roode at 10:11.

Rating: C. I could barely see a good chunk of the match but more importantly, TNA WILL YOU FREAKING LET A HERO LAST MORE THAN A FEW WEEKS??? Stop turning everything over to the heels over and over and over and over and over. It’s been nearly thirteen years of this same stuff and it’s gotten them onto the same network as Bathroom Kings (yes that’s really a show). Is a hero that doesn’t have to job to Eric Young so much to ask for?

MVP comes out and says maybe someone will visit Roode in the hospital.

Aries says it’s a battle to keep his X-Division Title tonight. If you back him into a corner, he’s going to get really dangerous.

We recap last week’s battle royal with Awesome Kong returning for the showdown with Havok. Again, Havok winning like five matches doesn’t make her Kong’s equal.

Brooke is mad about what Robbie said after how he performed on the Amazing Race.

Brooke Adams/Taryn Terrell vs. Beautiful People

All three BroMans are at ringside. DJZ takes a quick picture and we instantly see it on screen. He’s no Tyler Breeze. Adams hammers away on Angelina to start before taking Velvet down by the arm. Terrell comes in for a suplex and the Beautiful People are “dropkicked” to the outside, setting up Taryn’s bit dive to take out everyone on the floor. Back in and a middle rope clothesline drops Velvet, but Robbie gets on the apron to distract Brooke, letting Velvet grab a rollup with a handful of trunks for the pin at 2:30.

Post match Kong appears to destroys the Beautiful People and DJZ. Havok comes out for the showdown but security breaks it up.

JB turns down Carter’s challenge but Carter says JB is TNA. He should take the challenge because no one respect him. JB snaps and says he’ll fight Ethan next week.

Taz and Josh are going to preview something for next week. I’m not sure about this studio thing as it makes me feel like I’m watching a recap show. It’s not bad but it’s going to take some getting used to.

Manik tells a camera to follow him. They go to see James Storm, who tells Manik to leave them. Storm says it’s time for the world to be introduced to his newest disciple: Koya (formerly Mahabali Shera). Koya means lost in Hindi, but now Koya has been found. Next week, the world will see what he is capable of. The guy looks good if nothing else.

Video on Feast or Fired. It’s something like Money in the Bank with four briefcases, one for a shot at every title (other than the Knockouts) and one with a pink slip.

X-Division Title: Low Ki vs. Austin Aries

The BDC is at ringside. Aries took the title from Low Ki last week. The champ starts fast by backdropping Low Ki over the top but Ki’s feet get caught in the ropes to make the crash even worse. Back in and Aries gets two off the Pendulum Elbow and the Last Chancery sends Ki running for the ropes. Low Ki bails to the floor for a breather and meeting with the BDC. Why not just have them interfere now to give Ki the title? You know it’s coming because they’re a heel stable and therefore they have to win titles.

The advice works as Aries’ suplex is countered with Low Ki dropping him over the ropes. A big chop gets two but also ticks Aries off, causing him to fire off even harder chops of his own. The discus forearm sets up the running corner dropkick, but Ki knees out of the brainbuster. Austin crushes the knee and hooks the Last Chancery, only to have the BDC get on the apron. The referee misses Ki tapping out and the BDC gets on the apron, with MVP crotching Aries. Ki gets up and Ki Crushes his way to the title at 6:48.

Rating: C+. Why would you want to be a face in this company? You might get to hold a title for a few weeks, but at the end of the day, this company is about heels ruling everything around and long stories with them on top instead of letting anyone stand up as a hero. Also, well done on throwing titles around again. That’s always a good idea.

The BDC is still in the ring (of course) and call out Lashley. The champ comes out this time and MVP takes credit for everything Lashley has done. He makes the mistake of saying the title belongs to the BDC but Lashley isn’t cool with that. MVP says Lashley owes the team some thanks but Lashley turns to walk away.

MVP goes to stop him but Lashley tells Hassan (MVP’s real first name) to let him go. That’s ok with MVP, who brings up their time together in WWE. He wants one hug for the road though, which Lashley reluctantly gives. MVP kisses him on the cheek and the beatdown is on. Lashley gets hit in the face with the belt and MVP leaves with the title.

Overall Rating: C-. I’m getting really, really sick of heel stables, especially when you can almost guarantee they’ll be in power by March. This is all TNA does and it’s almost all they’ve done since they debuted. I’m tired of being told to wait and see where it goes, because it ALWAYS GOES THE EXACT SAME WAY.

Look what we had here: one story dominating about 80% of this show, the heels completely dominating the entire show, and most of the heroes getting beaten down. This is after Dixie’s reign of terror, which came after the Aces and 8’s, which came after Immoral. It just never ends and TNA makes it harder and harder to want to stick with them every single week.

Results

Samoa Joe b. Kurt Angle – Koquina Clutch

Hardys b. Wolves – Elevated Twisting Stunner to Edwards

Eric Young b. Bobby Roode – Piledriver onto a chair

Beautiful People b. Brooke Adams/Taryn Terrell – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Low Ki b. Austin Aries – Ki Crusher

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling – January 7, 2015: Destination: About the Same

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 7, 2015
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Taz, Josh Mathews

It’s a new era in TNA as they’re off SpikeTV and onto Destination America, meaning they’ll be lucky to have half the audience they had before. However, they seem to actually be trying to have a new beginning, which may help them a lot in the long run. The main story here is Roode vs. Lashley III for the title, which should be a solid main event. Let’s get to it.

Before we get started, remember that next week the show will move to its regular time slot on Friday at 9pm EST.

We open with a very cool video showing the roster coming to the arena and looking over New York City. Roode, Storm and MVP give the roster pep talks before we get a Lashley vs. Roode staredown. Kenny King throws a punch at Roode and the brawl is on outside the arena. I mean the entire roster is brawling and being recorded by handheld cameras. They head into the arena and it’s just a massive war. After about five minutes, TNA boss Kurt Angle comes out and asks the fans if they want this fight to continue. He asks where all the champions are and says all titles are on the line tonight.

Angle has one more announcement to make but MVP gets in the ring and cuts him off. The fans tell MVP to shut the F up and the censoring is just a big off. MVP turns his back on Angle to offer him a free shot but Angle just spits. This isn’t the same Angle who used to make people tap out and threw people everywhere, because his in ring career is over. Angle says he’s stepped down as executive director, but he’s been reactivated as a wrestler, meaning it’s him vs. MVP tonight in a street fight. Starting NOW, even though both guys are in street clothes.

Kurt Angle vs. MVP

Both guys are in street The bell rings and Kurt knocks him to the floor as we go to a break eight seconds in. I really wish they would cut that out and just start the match after the break. Back with MVP kicking Angle in the face and no commentary. Kurt rolls some Germans but gets caught in something like Lesnar’s Kimura.

Angle counters with a headscissors and grabs more Germans, only to have MVP go after the knee that put Angle on the shelf for so many months. The commentary here is light years better than with Tenay and Taz as there aren’t any lame jokes and they’re actually focusing on the match. It’s nothing great but I’ll take average over whatever TNA had before any day. Back in again and Angle grabs the ankle lock, only to be pulled down into a side choke. MVP is wrestling a submission styles here and it’s only kind of working. Kurt counters into the ankle lock again but MVP gets up, only to take the Angle Slam for the pin at 11:20.

Rating: D+. This was quick and didn’t need to be a street fight. I understand the idea of bringing Angle back in but I really hope he wraps up his in ring career soon. He just gets hurt way too easily and I really don’t want to see him get hurt even worse next time. The match was too short though and the stipulation wasn’t necessary.

MVP rants to Kenny King after a break and wants to talk to Lashley.

Taz and new commentator Josh Mathews welcome us to the show. The new idea is there are cameras everywhere and they’re pulling the curtain back. I can hear Cornette’s rants from here.

Ethan Carter III (with Tyrus) doesn’t like not being on the show yet. He’s a man of honor and doesn’t break commitments he made. His first commitment: to take Rockstar Spud apart piece by piece, starting tonight. Tyrus is sent to secure the target.

Matthews is glad to be here and throws it to Tenay, who is hosting a new show called Impact Wrestling Unlocked, which sounds like Impact with stats and facts etc.

Tenay had an interview with James Storm about the Revolution and how surprising it’s been to him. Storm says that was the idea, because he’s knocked everything this company has given him out of the park. The group’s members just flock to Storm because he’s preaching the truth to them. Tenay loved the Feast or Fired cash in but wants to know about the future. Storm gets in his face and talks about the devil being less scary than he is before whistling a lot. I still really like this idea and I want to see where it goes.

Tag Team Titles: James Storm/Abyss vs. Wolves

The Revolution took the titles from the Wolves back in late 2014 using a Feast or Fired contract (TNA’s version of Money in the Bank). Actually we’re not done though as the Hardys come out in street clothes as we go to a break before the bell. The match starts with the Hardys just on the floor as spectators as Edwards backdrops Storm onto Abyss, setting up stereo suicide dives. They work so well that the Wolves hit them three more times in a row as the rest of the Revolution (Manik and Sanada) just stand around watching.

Back in and the Wolves start double teaming Storm until Abyss pulls Richards to the floor and chokeslams him onto the apron. I love stuff onto the apron. Richards is in trouble for a good twenty seconds before he rolls over and tags in Edwards to fight off both champions. Storm misses a charge into the corner but gets kicked in the head and caught in a backpack Stunner for two. They’re keeping a very fast pace here and it’s working quite well. The Wolves’ painted claw marks on their chests are working as well.

Abyss tries a double chokeslam but the Wolves backflip out for a cool counter before a top rope double stomp gets two on Storm. Richards is pulled to the floor and Abyss catapults Edwards into a Storm DDT for two. Sanada and Manik try to come in but the Hardys make a save to prevent the DQ. Jeff and Abyss get in a tug of war over Storm’s noose and the distraction lets Storm superkick Edwards to retain at 6:13.

Rating: C. Nice fast paced match here but it didn’t have the time to go anywhere. I’m not sure why we needed the Hardys out there and I really don’t care to see them in the tag division. Storm has something here with the Revolution but does he need to be stuck in another tag team? Let him go after something on his own for a change.

Package on Roode vs. Lashley I.

Carter tells a camera to come with him.

Back from a break with MVP yelling at Lashley about not having his priorities straight. He takes credit for all of Lashley’s success and says he leads this team. Lashley pins him up against the wall and says this is about getting the title back. This calms MVP down a bit.

Jeremy Borash tries to bring out someone for an interview but gets cut off by Ethan Carter III. He brags about his accomplishments and does Tyson’s Kidd’s FACT bit. Carter does one up him a bit though by going to some fans with a mic to do the dueling chant lines. Carter apologizes for slapping JB a few weeks back and asks Spud to get out here right now. Tyrus drags Spud through the entrance and throws him into the ring, where Carter says it’s time to cut the rest of Spud’s hair. His SCALP chant doesn’t quite get off the ground.

JB tries to intervene and actually slaps Carter, earning him a splash from Tyrus. Spud tries to cover him up, but Carter has another idea. It’s going to be Borash getting his hair cut and Carter busts out the clippers to shave off a big chunk of JB’s hair. Spud freaks out but this didn’t have the emotion they were going for.

King talks to MVP in the back but the audio is so low I can’t make out what they’re saying. MVP holds up his phone and that’s enough for King.

Video on Lashley vs. Roode II with Roode taking the title.

Package on the history of the X-Division and the sound quality is lacking again. The voiceover is barely audible unless I turn the volume up far higher than it needs to be on the rest of the show. The video turns into a focus on Low Ki, who has been in the division since it started.

X-Division Title: Austin Aries vs. Low Ki

Ki is defending. Feeling out process to start as Mathews mentions Low Ki being the first ROH Champion and plugging WWE Hall of Famer Edge being on Taz’s debut podcast in the span of ten seconds. They trade headscissors as Taz lists off some Brooklyn landmarks. Aries kicks Ki to the floor but charges into a kick to the head for a nice counter. Back up and Aries fires off forearms to send Ki to the floor for a suicide dive. That’s a move they need to tone down as it’s the fifth use of it in less than an hour.

The missile dropkick looks to set up the brainbuster but Ki counters into a kind of dragon sleeper. Aries grabs the ropes and heads up top, only to get kicked in the head again. Not to be outdone, Aries kicks Ki down from the top and plants him with a brainbuster to win the title for a sixth time at 6:18.

Rating: C+. Good but not great match here and I’m not wild on Aries getting the title back. Again, it’s something we’ve seen before and nothing I really need to see repeated. The matches are going to be entertaining, but they need some fresh talent in that division. Swap some of the roster around and give Aries some fresh competition, because they can only do the same matches so many times.

Knockouts Title: Battle Royal

Angelina Love, Velvet Sky, Taryn Terrell, Madison Rayne, Gail Kim, Havok, Rebel

Taryn Terrell is defending. Before the match, Robbie E. is welcomed back to TNA after competing on the Amazing Race. He didn’t win a million dollars due to his horrible partner, but at least he still looks like a million dollars. Robbie rips on Brooke a bit more until Taryn’s entrance cuts him off. Gail goes after Havok to start before the Beautiful People put Rebel out. Madison saves herself on the apron but get dumped by Havok.

Velvet eats defeat and Taryn knocks Angelina out as this is a very lame battle royal. Like even lamer than most battle royals. We’re down to Havok, Terrell, Kim and Sky with Havok taking a double dropkick. Brooke comes in through the crowd and jumps Robbie. Terrell and Kim dump Velvet before Havok throws out Gail, only to get thrown out by Terrell to retain at 4:58.

Rating: D-. This was REALLY dull stuff and just there to get to the ending. I know they’re trying to make Havok out to be a monster, but I don’t think she’s had ten matches in TNA so far. How dominant of a monster can she be with such a short resume? I mean, it’s not like she’s Kong or anything.

Post match Havok jumps Terrell and puts her in a bearhug but the lights go out. They come back up…..and KONG IS BACK! She stares Havok down and chokeslams a referee for old times’ sake.

TNA World Title: Lashley vs. Bobby Roode

Roode is defending and starts fast, only to be driven into the corner for some hard shoulders to the ribs. A delayed vertical suplex gets two on the champ but he comes back with the Crossface to send Lashley to the ropes. I hope they’re not going with the idea of using the same hold over and over again until the other guy taps out. Mix things up a bit and build to a finisher instead of just starting it at first.

They head outside with Roode being sent into the barricade but coming back with a hard clothesline. We get an inset camera shot of MVP and King in the back with two masked men. Security won’t let the masked men come in so the security guy gets beaten down as we go to a break. Back with Roode in a chinlock followed by a bearhug. Taz and Mathews actually explain how Lashley is softening up the midsection for the spear later on. I haven’t heard actual analysis from TNA since I don’t remember when.

Roode fights out and they stare each other down for a cool visual. The champ takes over with a clothesline and a big spinebuster for two, only to jump into a Davey Boy powerslam (to go with the delayed vertical suplex from earlier. Nothing but good can come from watching British Bulldog matches) for the same. Lashley hammers away in the corner but gets powerbombed down for another near fall. Now we get to something new as they hit each others’ finishers for two each.

Cue MVP, King and the masked men as Roode grabs the Crossface. Lashley just stands up for the break, only to walk into the Roode Bomb for two. Back to the Crossface (cross forehead actually) but King pulls the referee out and decks him with a right hand. Angle comes out to brawl with him but gets beaten down. The masked men unveil themselves as Low Ki and Samoa Joe. Eric Young comes in with a chair….and turns on Roode with a bunch of chair shots. Lashley spears Roode down for the pin and the title at 20:00.

Rating: B-. I liked the match utnil the ending, which feels like yet another heel stable. Eric Young as a potential big bad drives me insane because…..how do I put this…..NO ONE CARES ABOUT ERIC FREAKING YOUNG! The match was good and I’m assuming this sets up Lethal Lockdown with Team Roode vs. Team MVP or Lashley. Not the worst idea but I’m terrified of another heel stable, especially if there’s going to be a leader with authority.

Overall Rating: C+. I’m torn on this one as I really liked the energy and some of the tweaks they made (commentary was WAY better tonight), but it feels like they’re resetting a lot of what they did back in December. Aries is X-Division Champion again and Lashley has the World Title back? So why put it on Roode in the first place other than to just give it a feel good moment?

The ending…..erg. This is the frustrating part about TNA: they can’t help but go back to the same ideas that we’ve seen so many times before to diminishing results each time. The idea might work for awhile at first, but then it overstays its welcome and turns into the same idea they’ve always had. Hopefully that’s not where they’re going with this, but TNA doesn’t deserve the benefit of the doubt.

The rest of the show worked pretty well though as they focused on the wrestling and advanced stories where they needed to. The Revolution is still awesome and Storm is nailing the cult leader character, especially with that creepy whistling. They also did a good job of introducing a lot of the new people. I’d call this a good first effort on a new channel, but the ending makes me nervous.

Results

Kurt Angle b. MVP – Angle Slam

James Storm/Abyss b. Wolves – Last Call to Edwards

Austin Aries b. Low Ki – Brainbuster

Taryn Terrell won a battle royal last eliminating Havok

Lashley b. Bobby Roode – Spear

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