Impact Wrestling
Date: December 8, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

It’s the last regular show of the year as next week will be Total Nonstop Deletion because it’s a good idea to give the Hardys their own show. The big story this week is the World Title on the line as Eddie Edwards defends against Ethan Carter III. You can almost guarantee a screwy finish of some kind as TNA loves leaving us hanging. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the World Title match with both guys seeming to have a lot of respect for each other.

Here’s new Grand Champion Moose for an opening chat. We get the YOU DESERVE IT chant, which is really starting to lose meaning. The guy has been around less than six months and has only been wrestling on the big stage for less than two years. Anyway, Moose promises to be a fighting champion but here’s Drew Galloway to interrupt.

Drew says the title was built for him and now he could have a match of the year against someone like Moose. The fight is about to begin but here’s Aron Rex (now clean shaven) to interrupt. Rex says three seconds isn’t enough time for a match and threatens to sue the fans for, and I feel stupid for saying this, Rexual Harassment. He’ll have his rematch right now.

Grand Championship: Moose vs. Aron Rex

Rex is challenging and wastes no time with the loaded up punch, which knocks Moose out on the floor. Back in and Rex can only get two so we hit the chinlock. Moose makes a quick comeback to end the round but Rex still takes the first. Rex uses his evil towel to blind Moose to start the second and it’s ANOTHER chinlock. The Wind-Up Elbow gets two on the champ and more elbows give Rex the second round. Round three begins with Rex hammering away again, only to get dropkicked off the top. The Game Changer retains the title at 7:36 total.

Rating: D+. I really cannot stand this gimmick. It’s TNA trying to be creative and while it’s something new, that doesn’t mean it’s interesting. The problem here is you could take away the rounds and the match would be exactly the same. Just have Rex cheat to win any regular title and it’s the same thing. That’s a major problem but TNA just keeps running with this thing.

Eddie says he’s ready.

Galloway rants about TNA not holding the tournament for him.

Aiden O’Shea vs. Mandrews

O’Shea goes for a slam but the much smaller Mandrews falls on him to take over. Aiden’s big forearm hits the apron by mistake and now he’s ticked off. The shirt comes off and the slow beating begins, only to have Mandrews send him outside. That means a big flip dive as I’m wondering why I’m supposed to boo this guy. A springboard seated senton sets up a shooting star press to end O’Shea at 5:48.

Rating: C-. So……he’s one of the least interesting wrestlers in the division, he’s turned heel, and now he wins a match that by definition is about making someone look like a face? Normally I would attribute this to a weird taping situation where Mandrews’ turn was taped after this but, since it’s TNA, it’s just weird booking as this took place after the turn.

Mahabali Shera/Al Snow vs. Tribunal

Indian strap match, meaning they’re bound at the wrists by straps and you win by touching all six corners. They brawl on the floor to start until the wrists are strapped, meaning the Tribunal can start choking. Snow’s comeback is cut off but it’s too early to touch the buckles. Low blows and straps to the back have the Tribunal down and a double low bridging allows Snow and Shera to win at 5:19.

Rating: D-. Whatever man. I’ve been sick of this feud since the second it began and this isn’t getting any better. Hopefully this blows it off and we can go on to anything else because I have no idea why it would keep going. No one involved is interesting and no one involved is being elevated but it keeps going anyway. Such is life in TNA.

We see Matt Hardy asleep with the Seven Deities telling him about something called Apocalypto.

Ethan is ready for the title match and makes fun of Eli Drake for not being able to talk.

Here are the Hardys to talk about Tag Team Apocalypto next week. Matt says the match will be so big that Mc-Mahon or Hayman couldn’t promote it. There will be regular stars of the Impact Wrestling roster and even King Maxill will make his debut. The Tag Team Titles will be on the line in an open challenge to any tag team in the history of space and time.

Cue Shane Helms (He still works here?) to say he’ll be there. Matt can’t wait to see 3 Count or the superheroes back in action. Helms is actually bringing the Helms Dynasty and promises to be there. Cue Decay to say they’ll top the Great War when they appear as well. Helms takes a Twist of Fate.

After a break, DCC says they’ll be in North Carolina next week too.

Laurel Van Ness vs. Allie

Madison Rayne is on commentary. Before the match, Maria laughs at Allie for pretending to be a wrestler. Allie says she’s been training with Braxton Sutter, which freaks Laurel out. Sutter comes out to watch from ringside as Laurel starts beating Allie up. Allie gets in a suplex as Sutter and Mike Bennett fight to the back. With the men gone, Laurel misses a charge in the corner and a reverse DDT puts her away at 5:11.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing but the story was all it needed to be. Allie is one of the most over people on the roster and seeing her beat up Maria and company is the best idea possible. It’s also very helpful that she’s a trained wrestler so we don’t have to sit through months of her learning how to do things. Sutter vs. Bennett could be good too.

Maria tries to get in and is shoved right back down.

Video on Carter vs. Edwards.

Allie is all happy and kisses Sutter in celebration.

Total Nonstop Deletion ad.

TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. Eddie Edwards

Eddie is defending and they trade armbars to start. A running knee lift cuts Eddie off and sends him to the floor as they’re definitely taking their time here. Ethan gets two off a knee drop and we take a break. Back with Carter getting two off a suplex and we’re off to a chinlock.

That goes nowhere so Eddie hits a top rope hurricanrana to very little reaction from the audience. They chop it out until Ethan is knocked outside for the suicide dive. Eddie’s rollup is countered into a sitout powerbomb for two but the TK3 doesn’t work. Back up and the champ gets crotched on the ropes for the superplex into a small package near fall.

Carter speeds things up until the Boston Knee Party sends him outside. The TK3 connects on the floor but Carter still can’t put him away. The Backpack Stunner is countered into Ethan’s rear naked choke, only to have Eddie roll onto his back. It’s a double finish as Eddie taps at the same time as the three count at 20:35.

Rating: B. The match was good but, as usual, it felt like they were just doing moves until we got to the ending. The near falls helped a lot and I buy them as equals but the ending felt a bit forced. It’s a good main event but really not enough to save the show, which wasn’t the best leading up to this.

The match is ruled a no contest so Eddie retains. Replays show that Carter’s shoulder was up at two anyway but it’s not acknowledged. I’m guessing Carter goes heel after this.

Overall Rating: C-. That main event helped a lot but there’s almost no way to save this show. Maybe they were just spent at the end of the marathon tapings or maybe TNA just isn’t capable of putting on quality TV (there’s a shocker) but so much of this show feels like a waste of time.

I can’t count how many things on here just exist with no emotional connection. When you have a gimmick match that doesn’t work, a pretty worthless big vs. little match, that stupid, stupid Snow/Shera match and a mostly bad women’s match, a good main event just isn’t enough. The show isn’t the worst in the world and is watchable at times but it’s not interesting and that’s a much bigger problem.

Results

Moose b. Aron Rex – Game Changer

Mandrews b. Aiden O’Shea – Shooting star press

Al Snow/Mahabali Shera b. Tribunal – Snow and Shera touched all six buckles

Allie b. Laurel Van Ness – Reverse DDT

Eddie Edwards vs. Ethan Carter III went to a no contest with a double finish

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 17, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

The big story coming out of last week’s show is the unmasking of the DCC, which revealed James Storm, Bram and the yet to be named Eddie Kingston to be behind the recent attacks. The group has targeted Eddie Edwards and the Hardys, meaning we might be seeing the some combination of the three fighting the DCC tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s show ending beatdown.

Here’s Eddie Edwards for an opening chat. Eddie is a nice guy but he knows he has a target on his back. He’ll get right to it: he’s not leaving this ring until he gets to fight a member of the DCC. Cue all three of them though and the beatdown is quickly on with Eddie Kingston finally being officially referred to as…..Kingston. Jeff Hardy comes out for the save and cleans house.

After a break, Eddie and Jeff go in to see the boss (meaning Billy Corgan, who isn’t named here) but Aiden O’Shea won’t allow the cameras follow them in.

Jesse Godderz vs. Aron Rex

Non-title and pinfall or submission only, making this a glorified street fight. Jesse doesn’t waste any time and knocks Rex straight into the corner before trying an early Adonis Lock. That earns him a rake to the eyes and a chinlock because Rex is the kind of heel who uses a chinlock two minutes into a match. Rex takes it outside and sends Jesse into the barricade, followed by yet another chinlock. That steams Jesse’s hair so he sends Aron outside and then hammers away back inside. The Adonis Lock makes Rex tap at 7:53.

Rating: D+. The story here is solid enough but that really doesn’t make it interesting, which is mainly due to Rex. He won a title in a competition that didn’t work well in the first place and now he’s a heel just because, which puts him in a feud that keeps going against Godderz. Not terrible here but I have no interest in watching these two again.

Laurel Van Ness is texting Braxton Sutter, much to Allie’s annoyance. Maria comes up and laughs at Allie for thinking Brandi Rhodes wants to be her partner.

Due to the attack last week, Gail Kim is forced to vacate the Knockouts Title.

Hardy and Edwards get to face the DCC in an anything goes handicap match tonight.

Sienna/Laurel Van Ness vs. Brandi Rhodes/???

The villains seem to be called the Lady Squad. Better than Ladyballs I guess. Maria laughs at the idea that no one wants to be Brandi’s partner but Rhodes has a surprise: Madison Rayne. Madison and Sienna get things going with some forearms putting Sienna in trouble. It only takes some choking to get her back in control though, followed by Laurel choking with her boot in the corner.

A snap suplex gets two for Laurel but a missed charge allows Madison to make the hot tag to Brandi. Unfortunately that leaves Brandi to clean house and she’s just not ready to do that. Madison and Laurel fight outside and a bad looking Downward Spiral puts Sienna away at 6:01.

Rating: D. Brandi is in a weird place here as she’s being pushed as a big deal but just isn’t capable of hanging at that level in the ring yet. That being said, she’s had all of three matches and there’s definitely a natural charisma there. I don’t know if she’ll be in the ring long term but she’s trying. Unfortunately she’s trying on a stage she’s not ready for yet and that’s making things look bad.

Matt Hardy, still sane, doesn’t understand why he would give the trick or treaters green beans. Reby tells him to go back to the Impact Zone to save his brother but Matt would rather delete e-mails, including the Young Bucks newsletter. He mentions unsubscribing and the Scribe appears….but only Matt can see him. Reby wants him to get help.

Trevor Lee vs. Ethan Carter III vs. Lashley vs. Mike Bennett

One fall to a finish, no tags and the winner gets a title shot at some point in the future. It’s a big brawl to start with Lashley getting the better of it by suplexing Bennett and throwing Lee over the down and down onto Ethan. Back from a break with Trevor getting in some kicks to everyone’s face as Josh plugs the Wolf Creek season finale. Bennett and Lee seem to form a quick alliance but as is so often the case, it breaks down as soon as one of them wants the pin.

The fans want someone to kill the troll as Carter takes some shoulders in the corner. Ethan comes right back and loads up a double 1%er, only to get speared in half by Lashley. A cutter drops Lashley and a deadlift German suplex gives Lee two on Carter. Bennett starts snapping off superkicks and spinebusters, only to have Lashley give him the real spinebuster. Lee suplexes Lashley to block the spear (sweet counter) and dives over the top to take out Carter and Lashley. Back in and Carter grabs a sleeper to make Lee tap at 14:07.

Rating: C+. This was getting fun but at the same time it’s getting a bit tiresome to have Lashley and Carter rotating into the #1 contenders spot over and over and over. You know they’re going to get their title shots at some point so just let them have it later and try someone else in those spots for a change.

Reby and Matt look at some Broken Matt videos and Matt is terrified of the chaos.

It’s time for Fact of Life with Eli Drake asking Ethan to come out here and be his guest. Drake gets right to the point: he wants one more match with Carter with that title shot on the line. Ethan wisely says no but Drake sweetens the pot by saying he won’t challenge for the title for one year if he loses. That’s not cool with Ethan, who wants people like Eli chasing him near the top of the ladder. However, he also wants one more fight with Drake so let’s do it next week. If Drake wins, he gets the title shot but if he loses, he can’t speak for the rest of the year. That’s good enough for Drake and the deal is made.

Decay threatens Jade with destruction at the hands of Rosemary.

Basile Baraka vs. Mahabali Shera

This feud just won’t go away. Baraka takes him down and chokes with the boot as Josh goes into a way over the top plug for a new sitcom at Pop. Shera gets tired of the trash talk and gets in a powerslam but a camel clutch is countered into a rollup for two. Another slam sets up another camel clutch to make Baraka tap at 4:05.

Rating: D. Why is this still a thing? I know they need to fill in time but is this really the best they have? Or is Shera just there to keep the Sony Six people happy? Neither guy is interesting and the Tribunal, which could have been at least something, has turned into one of the least interesting acts in a long time.

Post match the Tribunal beats Shera down until Al Snow makes the save. Josh: “AL SNOW IS TRENDING WORLDWIDE ON TWITTER RIGHT NOW!” Does Josh know that trending on Twitter is a real thing and not just a random statement? Snow and Shera shake hands, which Josh calls the Mega Powers uniting. He might be the greatest troll announcer ever and I doubt he has any idea of it.

Rosemary is creepy to Jade and it’s announced that their Knockouts Title match will be inside a cage.

Eddie Edwards/Jeff Hardy vs. DCC

Handicap match and anything goes. Jeff is just normal Jeff Hardy here and gets in an early Twist of Fate on Bram. It’s too early for the Swanton though as the rest of the DCC pulls Bram outside, leaving Jeff to dive on all three of them. Eddie gets in a few shots on Storm as we take a break. Back with the DCC in control until Jeff hits Storm in the back with a few chair shots. Kingston is sent through two open chairs in the ring but Bram comes in for the save. The Brighter Side of Suffering through a table plants Edwards, allowing Storm to superkick Jeff for the pin at 13:43.

Rating: C. Not bad here but, as is always the case, TNA doesn’t know how to wait on something. It’s fairly clear that Matt is going to be the big savior for TNA and the six man will result in Final Deletion XIX or so. That should be entertaining, but would it kill TNA to wait a little longer before doing these big matches?

Overall Rating: C-. Impact really is cut in half at this point as the top half of the show is going really well but there’s such a big gap further down the card. It’s kind of hard to go from a “dream” tag team vs. the TNA Wyatts to Snow/Shera vs. the Tribunal. I’m having a little more fun watching Impact lately but, as usual, I have no reason to believe it’s going to last.

Results

Jesse Godderz b. Aron Rex – Adonis Lock

Brandi Rhodes/Madison Rayne b. Sienna/Laurel Van Ness – Downward Spiral to Sienna

Ethan Carter III b. Lashley, Trevor Lee and Mike Bennett – Sleeper to Lee

Mahabali Shera b. Basile Baraka – Camel clutch

DCC b. Eddie Edwards/Jeff Hardy – Last Call to Hardy

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 29, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

It’s an interesting show this week for very different reasons. Above all else (at least in theory) this is the go home show for Bound For Glory. However, if the rumors are true, there’s also a strong chance that this is one of the, if not the very, last episodes of the show in general. Let’s get to it.

Jeremy Borash is in the ring to introduce Ethan Carter III and Lashley as the captains for tonight’s Lethal Lockdown. We’re going to get something like a live draft with the following teams announced:

Lashley, Drew Galloway, Mike Bennett, Maria Kanellis

Carter, Aron Rex, Moose, Gail Kim

The captains talk a lot of trash and say this is all that matters to them at the pay per view. Lashley isn’t like the people Carter has beaten because he can end Ethan’s career. Carter has a challenge: the two of them starting Lethal Lockdown one on one. Lashley agrees.

X-Division Title: Eddie Edwards vs. DJZ

DJZ is defending after accepting Edwards’ challenge last week. They chop it out to start until DJZ gets in a hurricanrana to send Eddie outside. DJZ’s flip dive doesn’t work though and it’s Eddie sending the champ into the barricade for a suicide dive. A sitout powerbomb gets two for Eddie but he takes too long going for the Boston Knee Party, allowing DJZ to hit a ZDT to retain at 5:34.

Rating: C. Well that happened. This was yet another match that probably should have been at Bound For Glory but instead let’s throw it on here for five minutes with no time to develop. As usual there’s nothing significant going on in the X-Division and there’s no title match announced three days before the biggest show of the year. I’m sure some multi-man match will be added on because that’s how this division works.

Post match the Helms Dynasty comes out and beats up both guys.

Maria yells at Allie some more when Laura comes in. Allie looks like she’s about to cry as Maria says this is what a woman should look like.

Mike Bennett and Moose had a sitdown interview earlier with Moose talking about how he’s dealt with people like Bennett for his entire football career. Bennett says this isn’t football and promises to teach Moose a lesson on Sunday. Moose says after he beats Bennett all around the ring, the fans will be chanting one name.

Madison Rayne vs. Laurel Van Ness

Laurel offers Madison a chance to kiss her hand before the match but Madison forearms her in the face. That means it’s time for a trip to the floor so Allie can check Laurel’s makeup. Back in and Laurel gets in a few slaps as even Josh is sounding bored with this match. Laurel hits a curb stomp for the pin at 3:56.

Rating: D. We’re three days away from the biggest show of the year and TNA is showcasing a newcomer instead of building up the matches they’ve got coming up. It says a lot when Josh Matthews, who can get hyped over whatever latest stupid sitcom he’s shilling for Pop, sounds like he’d rather be anywhere else. Laurel was watchable and the gimmick works but not the right time to debut it.

Allie announces Laurel as the winner, as per Maria’s orders.

Lashley offers a title shot to anyone who takes Ethan out.

Drew Galloway is in the ring and calls out Aron Rex for a chat. Galloway talks about how he made this the place to be (for unemployment checks) so you’re welcome. Rex: “First of all, get your own catchphrase.” Aron promises to beat Drew up like a greasy haired loser so Drew brings up the stuntman. This Sunday there can only be one and that’s going to be Drew Galloway. Security comes out to break up the brawl but both guys get in cheap shots.

Decay promises to destroy the Hardys.

Long recap of Decay vs. House Hardy.

Reby Hardy vs. Rosemary

Reby throws her around to start but gets choked down. Some forearms to the back have Reby in trouble but she grabs a Twist of Fate, only to have Steve get on the apron for a distraction. Reby goes after Steve and it’s the mist to Reby’s eyes for the DQ at 3:10.

Rating: D-. Yeah this was all you could have expected. Neither of them are regular wrestlers and the “match” was your old school Divas catfight instead of anything resembling wrestling. This feud can’t end quickly enough for me as I’m tired of hearing them say the same things for months on end.

Post match the big brawl breaks out and Rosemary gives Reby a Side Effect through a table.

Lashley wins the coin toss for his team.

Back from a break, Decay beats on Matt and Jeff even more. They fight to the back where Matt is electrocuted by a cable and we go to three camera shots at once with Steve shouting DECAY.

Cody Rhodes vignette.

Maria and Gail have another sitdown interview with Maria insisting on being introduced properly. They insult each other a few times and argue over whether the title or the Hall of Fame is more important.

Tyrus is talking about the Bound For Gold match when Eli Drake interrupts. A business partnership is offered but Tyrus isn’t interested. Then what’s the point of his character?

We run down the Bound For Glory card. The X-Division Title isn’t mentioned.

Ethan gives his team a pep talk.

Team Carter vs. Team Lashley

This is Lethal Lockdown, meaning there’s a cage with weapons around the ring. Two men will start for five minutes and then Lashley’s team sends in a man for a 2-1 advantage for two minutes. After those two minutes are up, Team Carter sends in a second man to even things up. The teams alternate every two minutes until all eight are in. At that point the cage roof lowers and it’s one fall to a finish.

Carter is in the ring to start but Lashley sends Bennett out to start instead. They slug it out to start with Carter getting the better of it, only to walk into a spinebuster. A clothesline gets Carter out of trouble and both guys are down until it’s Galloway giving Lashley’s team their advantage. The beating is on and we take a break.

Back with Rex coming in to even things up and the good guys take over, as is always the case in these things. Lashley gives his team another advantage as the clock is all over the place here. There’s nothing to talk about here as they’re just hitting each other over and over during these periods. Moose even things up and hits a spinning crossbody but everything evens out until it’s Maria coming down the ramp.

Bennett tells her not to get in though so the brawling continue until Gail Kim comes out and throws Maria inside. That lasts all of ten seconds as Maria runs out with Gail chasing her up the ramp. I’m SO glad they were added here and not, say, whoever is in the X-Division Title match. Ah right, WE DON’T HAVE ONE OF THOSE FOR THE PAY PER VIEW.

Back from another break with Lashley’s team in full control until Lashley has them stop for a meeting, allowing Rex to come back with a chair shot. Moose and Rex take turns beating Lashley down with various weapons. Bennett gets in a pipe shot on Rex and superkicks a chair into Moose’s face.

Moose does the same thing with a dropkick but walks into the Futureshock. It’s down to Carter vs. Lashley with Ethan winning a slugout and sending him head first into the cage. The TK3 is no sold so Lashley spears him down and grabs the head and arms choke. Carter goes for the ropes but it doesn’t matter inside the cage. Ethan passes out at 29:03.

Rating: C+. The women being a big waste of time aside, this was a standard Lethal Lockdown with an odd ending as Carter probably shouldn’t lose to end the go home show. Lashley continues to look dominant and he probably should drop the title on Sunday. The other people were really just background noise here, which is why this was such a waste of a gimmick. Just do an eight person tag or something.

Lashley’s choice for the main event: no holds barred.

Overall Rating: D+. Bound For Glory, assuming it happens, really isn’t looking that hot on paper and this show didn’t do it many favors. The matches have all been built up well enough but they’re still not interesting. The main event being no holds barred doesn’t do much for me and the X-Division still not having a match isn’t much better. The company certainly isn’t heading in on a high note but that’s pretty standard anymore.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6