So apparently on Raw (the reviews are coming.  Calm down) Heyman mocked Lawler for having a heart attack.  Why are people freaking out over this?Do you honestly believe Jerry Lawler wasn’t in on this the entire time and could have crushed this at anytime?  Watch some old Memphis stuff and tell me what happened on Raw isn’t tame.  Also, see what happens when WWE goes more adult like so many people are screaming for them to do?  “THAT’S TOO FAR!  HAVE SOME TASTE!”  It’s almost like wrestling fans have no idea what they want and just go along with talking points.

WWA: The Inception
Date: January 6, 2002 (Taped October 26, 2001)
Location: Sydney SuperDome, Sydney, Australia
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Jerry Lawler

Now here’s one you may have heard of but probably have never seen. Once WCW and ECW went out of business, there were a lot of wrestlers that didn’t go to WWF. Well a lot of them got together and went on an international tour. This was before TNA so this was likely the most recognized talent pool outside of WWF. I have no idea what to expect here but it could be fun. The WWA stands for World Wrestling All-Stars in case you’re curious. Let’s get to it.

Jeremy Borash, one of the people behind this show, welcomes us to the first ever show and an Australian girl band sings the Australian national anthem.

A pretty standard opening video airs. Since this was taped months before it aired, we get clips of the show we’re about to watch.

There are BIG sections of empty seats visible.

JB is about to introduce the first match but more pyro and music cuts him off. It’s Bret Hart, the WWA Commissioner, with presumably the world title belt. Bret has never been in a ring in Australia before and he apologizes to the fans for taking so long to get here. It was about a year ago that he got released from WCW and he hasn’t watched any wrestling since then.

A few weeks ago he came down here to do some promotional work. After doing a TV show, he heard about 9/11 and he couldn’t get out of the country. He praises the people of Australia for making him feel welcome during that time, but now it’s back to wrestling. Bret isn’t going to be a token commissioner. Whoever wins the title is going to have to work very hard. Now we get to the WWF, which Bret isn’t thrilled with.

Hart talks about being world champion in the WWF and how no one in that company ever beat him. Then he was in WCW and the last thing he remembers is no one beating him for that title either. He runs down Goldberg, Rock, Austin and especially Vince because none of them ever beat him. Bret says tonight whoever wins this title is going to be get the torch handed to them. He says the WWA has integrity and it’s time to let the fun begin.

JB and Jerry talk about how the title will be awarded. It’s called the Seven Deadly Sins Tournament, meaning seven matches with seven different gimmicks. The title match will be in a cage.

We hear about some of the non-tournament matches which seem pretty weak. Luna Vachon vs. Gangrel in a Black Wedding match (whatever that means) and Norman Smiley vs. Crowbar in a hardcore match. Ok then. We also get the first round tournament matches, two of which are hardcore matches, one of which is a battle royal, and one of which that isn’t listed.

International Cruiserweight Title/Seven Deadly Sins Tournament First Round: Psychosis vs. Juventud Guerrera

So not only is this for the company’s Cruiserweight Title, it’s also in the world title tournament and is a ladder match. Don’t overbook anything there guys. Also since this isn’t the first event for the company, Psychosis already won the title at a house show before this event, but the title was stripped so that the “first” champion could be crowned here. Psychosis won the first one in case you were wondering. Juvy gets on the mic before the match and does his Rock imitation which never was all that funny to me.

Something very different about this show is that the commentary comes through the PA system, meaning the fans can hear it. They head into the corner to start with Psychosis taking over. Juvy comes back with a spinwheel kick and a tornado DDT as things speed up. They head to the floor with Juvy shoving the ladder down so that the top of it slams into Psychosis’ head. FREAKING OW MAN!

Back inside and Psychosis dropkicks the ladder into Juvy’s face, only to get it sling shotted into his own face. Psychosis is busted open bad. Back inside and the fans aren’t all that thrilled with this. Juvy hits a loud chop in the corner and the ladder is laid across the top rope. Juvy tries a sunset flip which means nothing in this so it’s back to the ladder. Jerry suggests going for the belt. Gee thanks King. Juvy gets draped across the top rope and Psychosis hits a guillotine legdrop across the back of his head.

We get the first attempt at going up the ladder but Juvy hits a springboard missile dropkick to take the ladder out and send Psychosis into the top rope. Juvy gets another ladder for some reason but just like earlier, Psychosis dropkicks the ladder into Juvy to knock him down.

Back in and Juvy rams Psychosis into the ladder before climbing up and hitting some kind of a dive which doesn’t really keep going once he hits Psychosis. The ladder falls down and hits the referee but he’s fine because it wasn’t a planned bump. They both go up the ladder with Juvy hitting a sunset bomb to kill Psychosis. He adds a 450 for good measure and climbs up to win the title.

Rating: C+. This was a fun spot fest and that’s about all you need for it to be. I’m not a big fan of the idea of just throwing two guys out there and saying the winner of this is champion, but at least it was fun in the process. The high spots in this were pretty good too and for what it was, this was a solid opener.

Some chicks called the Starettes dance. By dance I mean pose while moving a little bit.

Nathan Jones arrives with some celebrity. Lenny and Lodi, the gay tag team, greets him but he has nothing to say.

Disco Inferno needs security.

Seven Deadly Sins Tournament First Round: Konnan vs. Jesse James

This is one of the matches listed as a hardcore match earlier but here’s it’s announced as a dog collar (four corners variety) match. James of course is the Road Dogg who was released from WWF soon before this. He’s billed as Road Dogg Jesse James which is kind of surprising. Oh wait make that Road Dog. Big difference there. Konnan jumps Dogg during his intro and does his own version of it while holding up the Mexican Heavyweight Title.

Konnan rips into Road Dogg for being the only member of DX to get fired which fires up Roadie, but a belt shot puts him right back down. They’re attached by the chain now, but it’s a long enough chain that Dogg can be choked over the top rope while Konnan is on the floor on the other side of the ring. Back in and Konnan hits the Rolling Thunder clothesline and stomps away a bit. Konnan gets three corners but Roadie hits him low with the chain.

Road Dogg gets two corners but Konnan chokes away some more. Apparently you can win by pinfall here too. Thanks for letting us know halfway through the match. Road Dogg gets put in the Tree of Woe and Konnan hits a quick dropkick for no cover. Konnan hits ten punches in the corner but Dogg hits him low to break it up.

Dogg gets two corners but just like earlier, the chain goes between the legs to break it up. After three more buckles for Dogg, Konnan rips his own collar off and pulls out a metal pole of some kind to hit Dogg in the head. He takes the collar off again and goes up with the pole, only to jump into a boot to the face. Dogg hogties him, simulates anal rape, and slaps all four corners for the win.

Rating: D. This was a mess for the most part with the pinfalls being an option meaning nothing at all. Both guys were all over the place and it never got going as a brutal match. Again, that’s the problem with gimmick matches for the sake of having gimmick matches: there’s no reason to have the gimmicks and the match doesn’t have any extra heat as a result.

We see some models getting ready for a Skin to Win match. Jerry freaks of course. One of them happens to be a man. Literally. Lawler, who liked the view before the guy turned around, ERUPTS when he sees the crotch bulge.

Devon Storm vs. Norman Smiley

Storm is more famous as Crowbar. This isn’t a tournament match. Norman comes out dressed like a basketball player as is his custom. A quick cross body gets two for Storm but he gets sent to the floor. We get the first garbage can but the lid gets slammed on Storm’s head. The can of weapons is thrown into the ring and Storm guillotines Smiley on the rope and hits a slingshot splash for no cover.

Storm hits a moonsault onto a chair onto Norman to hurt both guys. Norman starts dancing but gets a stick to his head for his efforts. Storm’s suicide dive runs into a chair and it’s table time. After the Big Wiggle (arguably more simulated anal sex. There’s at least male on male spanking), Norman can’t suplex Storm through the table. Devon is busted but he dropkicks a trashcan into Smiley.

A slingshot plancha puts Smiley through the table but despite Storm staying on top of Norman, there’s no count. Smiley comes back and whips Storm into the barricade before putting a trashcan over him. Norman pounds away with a chair before they head up the ramp. A low blow breaks up another Big Wiggle and the brawl goes to the back. Norman is put in a cart and rammed into Disco Inferno who of course overreacts.

They come back into the arena with Norman getting wheelbarrow slammed onto a piece of barricade laid on its side. Storm pulls out another table but cracks Norman in the head with a trashcan lid first. Another table is stacked on top of the first table and Norman starts screaming. Norman escapes a powrbomb and slams Storm onto a trashcan. After some dancing by Norman, he gets slammed into the can just as easily.

Storm puts him on the top table and after climbing up the set, dives through Norman and the two tables with a big splash. It’s one of those spots that looks a lot better than it actually was. Norman reaches over and covers the dead Storm for the pin. After the big spot of the match, Storm doesn’t even get to win? Lame.

Rating: D. This went on WAY too long. It’s the longest match of the night so far, running about ten minutes. The problem with these matches is that once you see them beat on each other for about five minutes, the next four and a half before the big spot aren’t very interesting as it’s the same stuff we’ve seen already. Not awful, but WAY too long and Norman getting the win is kind of stupid.

Disco runs into two fruits in the back. Literally, they’re guys dressed as bananas. That’s not a euphemism or anything. They’re men dressed like a yellow fruit that you peel and eat that has a lot of potassium in it. Disco: “I SAID I WANTED TWO SUITS! NOT TWO FRUITS!” Comedy ladies and gentlemen!

We get some brackets but they don’t make a lot of sense.

???

Road Dogg

Battle Royal

Jeff Jarrett

Front Row

Juvy won and his match is listed in the first column of the brackets, but he’s not in the second round. I have no idea what Front Row is either. Ah apparently Juvy has broken ribs and can’t go on so he’ll be replaced instead of Dogg getting a bye. Nathan Jones is Front Row. One, what kind of a nickname is Front Row? Second, why put that instead of his name?

Stevie Ray is with Bret and I have no idea what Ray asked Bret. The battle royal is now an open invitational to anyone who works for the WWA. Stevie asks if he can get in on this and Bret says go for it.

Seven Deadly Sins Tournament First Round: Battle Royal

Buff Bagwell, Stevie Ray, Devon Storm, Norman Smiley, Disco Inferno, Jerry Lawler

That’s it. Six guys is all they could find and apparently before this, there were only four. That’s not much of a battle royal. Disco and Bagwell are the first two out and brawl before the match starts. Ray comes in as well, as do Smiley and Storm. Yeah I spoiled the people in it. Get over it. King throws Borash into the match as well so I guess there are seven people in it now? Ray puts Borash out almost immediately as referees and a cameraman get in. Disco throws out Storm so Storm jumps in on commentary. Borash was eliminated somewhere in there.

Some chick in a gold dress gets in as JB gets back on commentary. Jerry slams the girl down and the girl eliminates herself. Both referees are thrown out so we’re down to Bagwell, Ray, Smiley, Disco and Lawler. All four agree to jump Ray but only Disco winds up charging. They do it again and this time it’s Disco and Smiley that charge him. The Fruits in Suits (they’re in pajamas, so I guess they’re the Bananas in Pajamas which is a kids TV show from this era) come down as well because I guess there’s no time limit for getting in. Ray gets dumped and Lawler does the Big Wiggle on Smiley.

Norman hits Lawler low and tries to eliminate him but Buff puts them both out. The Fruits never got in the ring and we’ve got Disco vs. Buff. Buff hits a cross between a double arm DDT and a Pedigree as Disco is reeling. Disco comes back with a swinging neckbreaker before we get, I kid you not, the Village People’s Elbow. Ok that was kind of funny. The Fruits get in and eliminate Disco but Buff throws them both out to go on to the semi-finals.

Rating: C. Yeah it was a comedy match, but it wasn’t bad at being funny. When you reach the point where it’s so insane that it’s funny, a match like this can work. At the end of the day, the (arguably) biggest name in the match won and it didn’t last long. This was fine for what it was and I can’t actually complain that much about it.

Lawler goes after the Fruits to get an interview.

The girl in the gold dress is apparently an interviewer. The celebrity and Nathan Jones make sex jokes and aren’t worried about Jarrett tonight.

Seven Deadly Sins Tournament First Round: Jeff Jarrett vs. Nathan Jones

This is another one that was listed as a hardcore match but here it’s a guitar on a pole. Jarrett is in his old WCW shirt so I’d bet on a lawsuit soon. Jeff says he’s the chosen one with all the stroke and that he’ll win the title. Basically the same thing he said in every promo in his last WCW run. He says he’s in charge of things now instead of Bret and he calls out Jones to fight. You know, like Bret said we should do.

You might remember Jones from a cup of coffee he had in the WWE in 2003 but he never went anywhere. The guy is 7’0 tall and a ripped martial artist (who looks a lot like bald Kane actually), but he makes Khali looked like a ring general. Jones is also Australian so the place goes nuts for him. Jeff gets in some right hands but Jones big boots him down and loads up a chokeslam. Not only does he look like Kane but he wrestles like him too.

The chokeslam is broken up but a side slam puts Jeff down. I think you win by pin here. They head to the floor with Jarrett running from Jones. Back in and Jones hits a top rope clothesline to take Jeff down but as he goes for the guitar he gets hit low and crotched. Jeff gets the guitar, kills the celebrity (apparently a talk show host) with it, and hits the Stroke on Jones to advance.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere. The problem at the end of the day for Jones was that he just wasn’t that good. He looked like an absolute monster but he just didn’t have what it took to work in the ring. The WWE pulled him from Wrestlemania because they didn’t think he could survive on a live broadcast. Think about that for a minute.

The Starettes waste more time.

Here’s Lawler again to interview the Fruits. He calls them to the ring….but they can’t talk. Because they’re bananas you see. Now Lenny and Lodi come out (Lawler: “Now we’ve got four fruits in the ring.” You knew someone would say it.) and gay jokes abound. Bret finally shows up and puts Lenny and Lodi in the semi-finals instead of Juvy. Oh and the bananas are out.

Seven Deadly Sins Tournament Semi-Finals: Lenny vs. Lodi vs. Road Dogg

Gee I wonder who is winning here. Lenny and Lodi get to do their land in homosexual position spots but they argue over who gets to cover Dogg. Since it worked so well, they do the same sequence over again. Jerry makes gay jokes as Lenny crawls onto Dogg for the cover. Lenny and Lodi do the same thing over again as they argue over who should get the pin. Lenny misses a top rope dropkick and hits Lodi, but Lodi breaks up Dogg’s shaky kneedrop. A botched double flapjack puts Dogg down and Lodi rolls up Lenny for two. Lenny’s moonsault lands on top of Lodi and Dogg drops a knee to advance.

Rating: D-. This was stupid but you can tell Lenny and Lodi are having a lot of fun out there. Alan Funk (Kwee Wee from WCW) would replace I think Lodi in TNA and do the exact same gimmick with mixed results. Again, there was never any question who would win here but it was kind of funny I guess. Also, it was short.

Stevie puts his hat on to talk to Buff (Stevie: “I don’t like looking like no fruit booty”), who cuts a very generic promo about his match with Jeff.

Seven Deadly Sins Tournament Semi-Finals: Jeff Jarrett vs. Buff Bagwell

This is a, and I quote, T*** Whips and Buff match, which means the Starretts as lumberjacks holding whips. Buff’s graphic says Road Dogg but to be fair it’s their first show. Apparently Buff got to pick the stipulations. Ok then. Basic stuff to start and Jeff has to avoid a whipping. A clothesline puts Jeff on the floor and the girls chase him around some more. Buff gets sent to the floor and the girls help him up and rub his shoulders.

Jeff gets one of the whips and beats on Buff a bit and it’s off to a token reverse chinlock. Buff escapes with an electric chair and hammers away before sending Jeff to the floor for a whipping. Buff whips him a bit too and the referee says that’s not allowed so the referee takes a few shots too. In the ring the Blockbuster hits but there’s no referee. One of the girls counts and Buff (who wasn’t looking) celebrates, allowing Jeff to hit the Stroke to advance to the finals.

Rating: D-. Another comedy match here and it’s starting to wear thin. These matches aren’t funny and at about four minutes long, they aren’t coming off as important or anything like that. These are supposed to world title tournament matches but there’s almost no wrestling involved at all. That gets old in a hurry.

Luna and Vampire Warrior (Gangrel) have come to Australia to renew their wedding vows but they wound up fighting and have a match tonight.

Luna Vachon vs. Vampire Warrior

This is a Black Wedding Match, which I think means hardcore but I have no idea for sure. Luna slaps him and Gangrel won’t fight back because it’s his wife. Gangrel finally kind of slams her down and we head outside. There’s wedding themed stuff on the floor and Gangrel takes a cake to the face. Luna gets tongs and grabs Gangrel’s balls with them. We get a pumpkin shot in and you can connect the dots on this one yourself I think. Luna throws down her wedding ring and spits at him, earning her an inverted DDT for the pin. Nothing here at all but ANOTHER comedy match.

Stevie is with the guy in women’s clothing but his identity stays a secret.

Queen B vs. Violet vs. Sharon A. Wad vs. Adera James

I have no idea which is which. Wad is the guy. You can figure out what happens here: the man dominates the models (Queen is a Penthouse Pet) until they team up on him and hit three straight Shattered Dreams on him. It’s Danny Dominion in drag apparently. Who is Danny Dominion? I have no idea, nor do I care. Dominion comes back and pounds away as this goes nowhere. Two girls lose their tops and THIS KEEPS GOING. This isn’t wrestling at all and FINALLY James wins. Screw this nonsense.

We hear about some upcoming shows as the cage is lowered. Lawler and JB suck up to the crowd to fill in time.

The Starettes dance AGAIN but Disco interrupts them. He says this is about him instead of dancing girls and comes to the ring. Disco says he should be in this match and he’s not because of the Fruits. They come out and beat Disco up, sending Inferno up the cage in retreat. Disco SHOVES ONE OF THEM OFF THE CAGE in a big bump. The Fruit is pretty much dead so he gets dragged off. This is your time being wasted people, not mine.

WWA World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Road Dogg

Bret comes out to do commentary and they fill even more time with long entrances. Jeff takes Dogg down to start and pounds away in the corner. There’s a cameraman in the ring which is kind of distracting. It also doesn’t help that the closeups show that a lot of the shots aren’t hitting. Dogg hits the shaky punches and knee drop for two. I think you can win by escape too but it’s not really clear.

Dogg gets sent into the cage but he comes back and sends Jeff into it as well. This is as basic as you can get so far but it’s nothing bad. Jeff gets sent into the cage again as Dogg takes over. Both guys go to the top and Jeff climbs down….but that doesn’t count here, making the whole cage pretty worthless. A bell shot busts Jeff open and they head back in for a sleeper from Jarrett. There is literally blood dripping down onto the mat from Jeff’s head. That’s sick stuff man.

Road Dogg gets up at two arm drops and rams Jeff into the cage to escape the hold. Dogg puts on a sleeper of his own but Jeff suplexes him down for two. A forearm from Roadie takes out the referee and Jeff walks out the door to pick up his guitar. The guitar kills Dogg and Jeff puts him in the Sharpshooter but Bret won’t let the bell ring. It’s a cage match so why is this illegal? A second referee comes in and gets bumped and Dogg low blows Jarrett. Now Dogg puts Jeff in the Sharpshooter but Bret STILL won’t ring the bell. Roadie steals the belt from Bret, misses a shot with it and takes the Stroke to give Jeff the title.

Rating: D+. This didn’t work for me. After the night of overdone matches, they overdo it even more to end the show? Even in 2001 the Montreal stuff was old and no one was interested in it anymore. The match was getting good at the end but I don’t think many people bought Dogg as a legit threat.

Post match Bret gets in the cage and Jeff backs down from him. Bret takes the legs out and puts Jeff in the Sharpshooter to end the show. Nice job of making the CHAMPION look good on the first show guys.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a hard one to grade. First and foremost, it’s their first PPV. They had four more and a bunch of house shows to get their ideas right and hopefully ditch some of the comedy matches. The good thing here is they have a champion and it’s probably their best option. This show cost $20 when it aired and I can’t say I’d hate myself for paying that at the time, but I’d be skeptical about paying that again. If nothing else, these guys are WAY better than a lot of indy geeks you’ll see, so it’s not a total loss. Bigger names would come in soon enough though which would help a lot. Not great but not awful.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

http://wreg.com/2012/09/28/jerry-lawler/

If he manages to do that, that’s pretty awesome just five weeks after a heart attack.

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 24, 2012
Location: Times Union Center, Albany, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Ross

There are two top stories tonight and both of them involve health issues. First and foremost we have Jerry Lawler’s first interview since having his heart attack two weeks ago. This should be a feel good moment which is always cool to see. Other than that we have the recently operated on John Cena talking about his timetable for a return to the ring. Let’s get to it.

Punk and Heyman are in the ring to start. Punk is in a chair and Heyman says that the show won’t be going on until justice is served. We get a clip from the end of last week’s show with the referee missing Punk having his foot on the ropes. Heyman asks Brad Maddox, the referee and former FCW wrestler, to come out here, apologize, and tender his resignation.

Maddox comes out and says that it was his first main event match and he was nervous. He admits he was wrong but he isn’t going to resign. Punk pops out of the chair and yells at Maddox, asking how he got this job. Maddox says that AJ called him when Raw expanded to three hours. Heyman goes into an NFL-inspired rant about how Maddox is a replacement and pulls out an eye cover with the WWE and NFL logos on them.

This brings out AJ who says that Heyman needs to stop making assumptions. Punk goes on a huge rant against AJ, talking about how he’s the reason she has a job. He accuses AJ of hating him because of the whole jilting storyline from over the summer. After a clip of Punk turning down her proposal, Punk talks about how AJ sent him a bunch of texts and wore his shirt all the time. Punk implies that AJ skips because of how good the sex was with him.

Heyman asks if he can take over and drops to a knee in front of AJ…..and asks her to marry him. He talks about how powerful of a couple they would be, even outranking HHH and Stephanie. Heyman will come up with all of the ideas and AJ can take credit for all of the brilliance. She smiles a bit and slaps him in the face before leaving.

Post break Maddox talks to AJ who says that if what happened last week happens again, Maddox will never work in this business again. AJ says this while looking on the verge of another nervous breakdown. She stops responding to him while looking off into the distance.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kington

Another Twitter induced match here. Truth is here with a soda and popcorn. Vickie makes fun of Little Jimmy and the end result is Vickie taking the soda to the face. Vickie and Truth get ejected before the match starts. Kofi knocks Dolph to the floor quickly and hits a BIG flip dive to take Ziggler out as we take a break. Back with Ziggler in control and avoiding a charge in the corner. A reverse powerslam gets two for Dolph.

Ziggler dropkicks Kofi down and hooks on the chinlock. It’s so much nicer to have Cole being neutral here like he was last week. It’s making a notable difference. Ziggler misses a splash in the corner and the comeback is on. The Boom Drop hits but the kick is caught. SOS is countered but Kofi hits the pendulum kick in the corner. Springboard right hand gets two as does the springboard crossbody. Kofi misses a shot and there’s the Fameasser for two for Dolph. This is getting good. Zig Zag is blocked and the SOS gets a VERY close two.

Kofi goes to the corner but jumps into a dropkick. Ziggler’s feet are caught in a catapult to send Ziggler into the corner. He jumps at Kofi but Kingston rolls away into the corner, coming off the top with a HUGE spinning crossbody for an even closer two. The kick misses again and the Zig Zag FINALLY gets the pin at 11:04.

Rating: B+. There’s a lot to say about this one. First of all, WHAT A MATCH. This was one of the most exciting TV matches I’ve seen in months with some insane near falls. More importantly though, THIS is why Ziggler got over in the first place: having these awesome matches and making it look like he could beat anyone. They desperately need to rebuild him as he’s clearly destined for the world title, but having him lose all the time and then giving him the title is going to ruin what could be a good title reign by making him look like a loser. Have him get some wins like this and the problem goes away though. Great match.

We get a recap of the awesome ending to Smackdown with Kane and Bryan having their psycho bonding moment resulting in a pile of bodies around them.

Earlier today, Bryan and Dr. Shelby had lunch and Shelby has an idea for how to build trust with Kane and Bryan. Kane comes up and is apparently the waiter. Bryan orders the steamed vegetable platter and a tag partner who isn’t a freak. Shelby says this isn’t Kane, but rather Gerald the friendly waiter. Gerald says there’s a new cook because the old one got on his nerves. Apparently the old cook had his face dipped in a deep fryer and his beard was sprinkled over every meal served today. Shelby asks Kane if he’s serious, but Kane says his name is Gerald.

You get to name the team name for Bryan and Kane.

Prime Time Players vs. Santino Marella/Zack Ryder

See how easy it is to get people on the roster doing stuff? This is where a tag division can help you: you can get people on the show and you can get a lot of them at once. Ryder and Young start things off with the former getting caught in a flapjack for two. Ryder misses a cross body and hits the ropes, followed by a Young chinlock. Zack fights up and dives into a tag to Santino, who hits his usual stuff and gets two off a headbutt. Things break down for a second and Titus gets a blind tag. He blocks the Cobra and the Clash of the Titus gets the pin at 1:54.

There’s a special guest here tonight.

Here’s Mick Foley who is indeed the special guest. He’s here as a member of the WWE Universe who occasionally sees things on Raw that move him. A year ago, he saw the emergence of CM Punk. Foley talks about how Punk was the voice of the voiceless and here’s the champ to interrupt him. Punk tells Foley not to grandstand out here and asks for respect.

Foley talks about how a year ago, he sent a text to Punk after Punk won the title, asking how it felt to be the biggest star in the business. Two minutes later, Punk replied saying that it meant a lot to hear that coming from Foley. Foley believes he’s one of the only people that Punk responded to that night, so as someone Punk has deemed relevant, Foley is concerned about Punk’s change of attitude and his alignment of Paul Heyman.

Punk yells at the fans and tells Foley that Foley has no idea what he’s talking about. Foley says he used to be a Paul Heyman guy until he stopped listening to Heyman, which is when he finally became something in this business. Foley thinks Punk has been listening to Heyman for a lot longer than a month. Punk doesn’t but it but Foley says that he isn’t accusing Heyman of lying through his teeth, but rather of looking out for himself instead of Punk.

Foley asks a very interesting question: why would one of the best talkers of all time need a mouthpiece? Punk has to decide if he’s going to be an inspiration or a Kool-Aid drinker. If Punk doesn’t want to talk about that, Foley can talk about something he certainly knows about: Hell in a Cell. Fourteen years ago Foley was thrown off the Cell and since then, he hasn’t had to earn any kind of respect. He lists off some names that have earned respect in the Cell like Shawn, Undertaker and HHH, but Punk doesn’t seem impressed.

Punk asks if Foley wants the old CM Punk. Foley says he wants Punk to show that he’s the best in the world by stepping inside the Cell with John Cena. The fans want it too but Punk talks about how he’s heard this speech from Foley and Cena and Hart and look where he is now: in the ring with someone else beneath him. Punk has done everything that everyone has told him he had to do to earn respect but he hasn’t gotten it yet. He talks about Foley jumping off a house and setting himself on fire and all those things, but Punk isn’t going to lower himself to that.

Punk talks about the amount of days that he’s been world champion, whereas Foley says the important number is 29. That’s the amount of time that Foley held the title in his three reigns. It’s not stats and numbers that make you a legend but the moments that you have in the ring. Foley has talked to AJ and even though Cena has had elbow surgery, he should be ready for the PPV. It’s up to Punk if he wants to fight Cena in the Cell. Great segment here as Foley can still talk with the best of them. Punk looks a little shaken.

The Miz vs. Ryback

Non-title here. Miz gets in a single shot to start and is launched across the ring. Ryback misses a charge into the corner but Miz’s neckbreaker is countered into a powerslam. Ryback slams the champ’s head into the mat and Miz bails to the floor. Miz manages to kick him into the barricade and hits some kicks to the head and the low DDT back in the ring for one. A powerbomb kills Miz and we’ve got a fan in the ring. There’s the clothesline to take Miz’s head off. Shell Shock and Miz is done at 2:56. Basically a squash which is a great sign for Ryback.

Back to Kane and Bryan who are now eating lunch together. Kane says they’ll never be friends and Bryan agrees. They reminisce over making eight people scream with Kane pounding the table like he hit the guys and Bryan shouting YES over and over. Mae Young pops up and says she’ll have what they’re having, ala When Harry Met Sally. These two are pure gold together right now and this was another hilarious segment.

AJ talks to the referees in the back and reenforces the fact that there won’t be instant replay in the WWE. She says that it’s ok to make mistakes and go have a great rest of the show. They leave and here are Alberto and company. Tonight it’s Alberto/Otunga/Ricardo vs. Sheamus/Sin Cara/Mysterio. AJ leaves and Ricardo is all fired up about this.

Wade Barrett vs. Tyson Kidd

Kidd fires off some dropkicks to start but gets kicked in the ribs to slow him down. Barrett puts him in the ropes and kicks him in the face and out to the floor. I’m digging this slower pace from Barrett and the beard is a great touch. Back in and Kidd gets his sunset rollup for two but walks into the Boss Man Slam for two. The forearm/elbow to the head which is called the Souvenir knocks Kidd out for the pin at 2:20.

It’s time for the interview with Lawler who is sitting on a freaking throne. That’s awesome. Lawler gets a huge ovation. His voice isn’t sounding right but it’s because he had a ventilator down his throat for so long. Lawler says he remembers Hart and Punk having their confrontation but he doesn’t remember anything after that. He doesn’t even remember his match that night. When he woke up, he thought he was in Aruba with his girlfriend where he had been two weeks before the heart attack.

Lawler is overwhelmed by the response and thanks the fans for their love. Cole asks the big question: when is Lawler going to be back? Jerry says this was a long time coming, as he had to sit by Cole for three hours every week and anyone would have a heart attack from that. He’ll be back as soon as his doctors say it’s ok for him to do so. This was an awesome moment.

Ricardo Rodriguez/David Otunga/Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio/Sheamus/Sin Cara

Ricardo introduces himself in a funny spot. This is joined in progress after a break with Otunga getting beaten up by Sheamus. Cara and Mysterio hit big dives through the ropes to take out Alberto and Ricardo, but it seems to have hurt Rey’s knee. Cara comes in and speeds things up against Ricardo who is wrestling in a tux. Rey is back on the apron now. A shot to the back of Cara’s head gets two and it’s off to Del Rio.

Alberto kicks Cara in the ribs and hits a Rollins Blackout for two. Ricardo comes back in and goes for Cara’s mask, only to get arm dragged down. Hot tag brings in Rey who speeds things up and hits his kicks to the head for two. Rey goes up but gets caught by a running enziguri to the head for two. The Prime Time Players are watching in the back. Back to Ricardo who gets some basic stomps and brings in Otunga. Make that Alberto as the heels are tagging in and out very fast as is the custom in WWE anymore.

Del Rio hits another running enzugri for another two and it’s off to a chinlock with a knee in the back. Rey fights up and hits a dropkick and makes the tag to Sheamus. Otunga escapes White Noise and ducks the Brogue Kick before tagging in Rodriguez. There are the ten forearms and one more after the shirt is ripped open. 619 takes out Ricardo but he has to beat up Alberto. Sin Cara comes in with a springboard Swanton for the pin on Ricardo at 7:46 shown.

Rating: C. This was fine for what it was. The good guys got to beat up the bad guys, but we need another opponent for Sheamus. I’ve heard rumors of a name but I don’t want to spoil it. Either way it’s WAY better than Alberto, so hopefully the announcement of the next feud is made on Friday because I can’t take more of Del Rio’s whining. This was fine and felt like a fun house show main event.

Otunga takes a Brogue Kick post match.

Back to the diner with Shelby, Kane and Bryan all at the table now. The waitress brings a plate of vegetables and a plate of meatballs and puts them in front of the opposite person that would usually eat either. Both take bites to learn how the other half lives. Kane belches loudly and Bryan says it wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be before vomiting on Shelby’s lap. Kane of course bends over to look and says check please.

Cole gives us the options for Kane and Bryan’s team name:

Team Teamwork

Team HELL NO

Team Friendship

The team is officially named…….Team HELL NO by a pretty wide margin. That’s the name I was hoping for. As they stand there though, Sandow and Rhodes run in and jump the champions. Cody names their team Team Rhodes Scholars.

We recap Heyman proposing to AJ earlier as well as Foley and Punk.

Layla/Alicia Fox vs. Eve Torres/Beth Phoenix

Layla and Beth start but it’s quickly off to Alicia for a sunset flip out of the corner for two. Beth powerslams her down and hits a slingshot suplex as she tags in Eve for the neckbreaker and the pin at 1:30.

Post match Kaitlyn comes out and says she found the security footage of her attack. The face couldn’t be seen, but it was a blonde. Eve accuses Beth but she says no. Eve decks Beth and lays her out with the neckbreaker.

Brodus Clay vs. Tensai

They charge at each other and fight over a tieup. Brodus headbutts him down and hits the suplex but the splash misses. Tensai’s backsplash misses….and here’s Big Show. Tensai gets knocked out for the DQ at 1:48.

Brodus charges into a knockout punch too.

Orton vs. Big Show on Friday.

Here’s Cena to close things out. The fans are mostly booing him even though his arm is in a sling at the moment. He wasn’t supposed to be here but he needed to be here to thank the fans personally. He thanks the fans for their support of the cancer research support which is very cool. Cena says it’s been a rough week and it sounds great to hear those boos again. We get a Cena chant and there isn’t any sucking involved.

Cena wants to apologize to Chad Patton and Brad Maddox, the referees that have been in trouble. He says consider the source, and also apologizes for Punk. Punk has misquoted Cena by saying that leaving Night of Champions as champion would be a moment. Cena goes into a PG tirade which makes me chuckle for some reason. He also wants to apologize for the sling he’s in. Cena can’t guarantee anything other than he’s going to walk into HIAC as a fighter.

That brings out Punk and Heyman with the champ saying that Cena should be a politician. There’s one CM Punk and he beat Cena at Money in the Bank last year and back to back years at Summerslam. Punk isn’t about to lose to a one armed man, so Cena says why don’t you just fight me in the Cell and see what happens. The champ says no with a reason being that Cena keeps getting title shots.

That’s not the top reason though. Cena isn’t going to be medically cleared because of what Punk is going to do to him. Punk says run because if Cena is around when Punk turns back around, he’s going to hurt John like he hasn’t been hurt in a long time. Punk turns around and counts but Cena pulls out a lead pipe. Heyman runs and Cena hits Punk in the ribs with the pipe. Cena: “REAL MEN WEAR PINK!” John says that’s a pipe bomb as Punk crawls away to end the show.

Actually scratch that as Punk is shown in the back walking by a line of people.  Foley looks at him but Punk keeps walking.  Punk turns around and kicks Foley in the groin.  He turns around and sees RYBACK.  Punk backs away terrified to really end the show.

Overall Rating: B. I don’t know what changed in the WWE lately but they’re on a roll. Since Night of Champions there’s an energy that this company hasn’t had in a long time and it’s showing off. Between the tag division actually existing and Bryan/Kane stealing every show and Punk nailing it on the mic and Sheamus FINALLY not feuding with Del Rio anymore and a bunch of new guys getting pushes, things are really looking up around here. This was another good and entertaining show, and it’s so nice to be able to say that about Raw again.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Kofi Kingston – Zig Zag

Prime Time Players b. Santino Marella/Zack Ryder – Clash of the Titus to Marella

Ryback b. The Miz – Shell Shock

Wade Barrett b. Tyson Kidd – Souvenir

Sheamus/Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio b. Ricardo Rodriguez/David Otunga/Alberto Del Rio – Springboard Swanton Bomb to Rodriguez

Eve Torres/Beth Phoenix b. Layla/Alicia Fox – Swinging Neckbreaker to Fox

Tensai b. Brodus Clay via DQ when Big Show interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Before we get to this, I want to apologize in advance for the last hour of this show.  My mind wasn’t focused on the show but I don’t think anyone was.

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 10, 2012
Location: Bell Center, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

There are two major things going on tonight. First of all, we’ll have the continuation and explanation of Heyman driving Punk away last week to end the show. The other is that Bret Hart is going to be in Montreal so you know the crowd is going to go nuts. This is the go home show for the PPV on Sunday so tonight is likely going to be a lot of pushing towards that show. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Bret to open the show. The fans give him a very long ovation and Bret talks about how dark that day in Montreal was. The fans got him through that time and he thanks them deeply. That’s about it and here’s Punk with less hair. Punk complains about Bret having a big ego and wants to know what would have happened if it had been him in Montreal instead of Shawn. Bret says Punk would have been in the Sharpshooter with his feet touching his head.

Punk says the WWE wouldn’t exist because he would have beaten Bret without Vince, then jumped to WCW and there wouldn’t have been an Attitude Era and the company would have died. Bret says that he’s the best there is, was and ever will be which gets on Punk’s nerves. Punk takes a jab at Lawler and in a bizarre moment, Bret defends Jerry. We get a clip of the end of last week’s show with Punk coming back and leaving with Heyman.

Punk asks Bret if Cena is here tonight and is going to save Bret if things get too heavy. Bret mentions the word respect and Punk goes off on him. Eventually Punk says he’ll put Cena to sleep on Sunday. Bret: “Just like you’re putting these people to sleep here tonight.” Punk says nothing else of note and we’re done. I’m not sure if I liked this or not. It was better than the Lawler stuff, but at the end of the day it’s the same thing he’s been saying over and over again.

Pick Brodus, Lawler or Orton to be Punk’s opponent tonight.

Antonio Cesaro/The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth

Cesaro’s five language word tonight is prestige. There’s going to be a battle royal on Sunday’s pre show to determine who gets the shot at Cesaro later in the night. Truth comes in pretty quickly and the tag champs clear the ring with Kofi hitting a bit flip dive to the floor as we take a break. Back with Cesaro holding Truth in a chinlock while Aksana lays on the apron and watches.

Off to Miz who hits the top rope ax handle for two. Such a shame to see a former legendary team like this fighting isn’t it? Truth comes back with a flying kick to take Miz down and there’s the hot tag to Kofi who cleans house. A top rope cross body gets two on Cesaro and Truth takes Miz out with the spinning forearm. Kofi gets rolled up for two but even a handful of tights only gets two for Cesaro. Kingston pops up and Trouble in Paradise gets the pin on Antonio at 8:10.

Rating: C. Just your run of the mill tag match here but it worked well enough. I’m ok with the champions losing here as it’s to set up the Night of Champions PPV, which means focusing on the champions by putting them in one match makes sense. Pretty decent match here and it’s nice to see the tag champions win a match.

We recap Sheamus and Del Rio’s stuff from Friday.

We go to a court deposition about the Otunga/Sheamus/Del Rio ordeal which involves Jewish and Mexican jokes from Sheamus. Otunga lists off some former victims of the Brogue Kick (including Daniel Bryan, making Sheamus answer every question YES in a funny bit) and we get some legal banter that belongs in a parody of A Few Good Men. Then Sheamus Brogue Kicks the camera and says let’s have a party, prompting him to belt out Hava Nagila. This was out there but it was certainly different.

Alicia Fox/Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Eve Torres/Kaitlyn/Layla

Beth and Kaitlyn start us off and it’s quickly off to Nattie. Kaitlyn gets beaten down and it’s off to Alicia who hits a suplex for two. Off to Layla who cleans house before Eve tags herself in and hits the spinning neckbreaker for the pin on Alicia at 2:33.

AJ is looking a bit psycho when Punk comes up. He doesn’t like that Cena doesn’t have a match tonight and Punk doesn’t know who his own opponent is. He yells at AJ but she doesn’t back down. She leaves and Punk runs into Brodus who might face Punk tonight.

Orton wins the poll in a non shocking landslide.

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

Punk is in Hart colors which is a weird kind of respect I guess. The champ starts with his traditional headlock to shout spots into Orton’s ear but gets hiptossed down and we stall a bit. Punk stomps him down in the corner and hits a suplex for two. A chinlock stays on Orton for awhile but he fights up and almost gets the RKO. Punk bails to the floor and tries to walk out but Orton makes the save. Orton throws Punk in first so CM dropkicks Randy’s legs out, sending Orton face first into the apron as we take a break.

Back with Punk dropping an elbow for two on Orton. Punk goes up top but Orton channels his dad and superplexes him down. They slug it out from their knees and Orton takes over, but the Elevated DDT is countered by a kick to the head and the springboard clothesline for two. GTS and RKO are countered so Orton hits the backbreaker for two. Now the Elevated DDT hits but as Orton loads up the RKO, here’s Ziggler for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was your usual main event style match which wasn’t bad but it’s also nothing great. I don’t think anyone expected this to be a classic or anything and the ending was pretty predictable, but that’s ok in this case. I’m not wild on the Raw Active stuff because it takes away the reason these guys are fighting, but social media rules the world anymore.

Post match Orton gets double teamed but Lawler makes the save. The four brawl as we head to a break, leading to…..

Randy Orton/Jerry Lawler vs. Dolph Ziggler/CM Punk

Back with Ziggler pounding on Orton in the corner and hitting a neckbreaker for two. Orton comes back with the slingshot suplex and brings in Lawler for a pair of middle rope fists for two. Ziggler dropkicks Jerry down as Punk looks bored out of his mind on the apron. It’s intentional boredom though so at least he’s doing his job properly. Ziggler drops some elbows on Lawler and hooks a chinlock as Punk still hasn’t been in yet. Lawler suplexes out of the hold and it’s hot tag Orton.

He cleans house but the Elevated DDT is countered and Orton is sent to the floor. Here’s Heyman for a chat with Punk but Vickie starts shouting at them. Punk ignores them and keeps talking to Heyman. Heyman hands Punk the title as Ziggler is pounding on Orton in the ring. For no apparent reason Cole has stopped talking.

A Fameasser is countered (we’re watching Punk and Heyman so the match is being seen in the background) but the RKO doesn’t hit. A rollup gets two for Ziggler but he walks into the RKO for the pin at 7:10 shown. Punk was never in the match and walks away with Heyman without caring at all.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad but it was more about an angle than a match which is fine in this case. Heyman was the talk of the internet this past week so him coming out here was what everyone was waiting on. This was definitely different which is what Raw has been needing for awhile now.

Punk and Heyman are walking in the back but we still can’t hear what they say. Matt Striker asks them what their relationship is and Punk says he’s a Paul Heyman guy.

We recap the hugging segment from last week in a package that aired on Smackdown.

Bryan and Kane meet in the back but they aren’t sure who sent both of them messages to meet here. Someone set the meeting up and Kane is mad to see him. It’s the doctor who wants to run a checkup. AJ asked the doctor here apparently because they have to trust each other before everything falls apart for them.

Heath Slater wants to face Ryder again after losing last week. Ryder pops up on screen and says he’s not facing Slater. Here’s the real opponent.

Heath Slater vs. Ryback

Slater gets in some offense but poses to the crowd too much. Clothesline, double powerbomb, Shell Shock for the pin at 2:07.

The Prime Time Players have whistles now and come in to see AJ. They aren’t the #1 contenders now because they have to beat Kane and Bryan tonight.

Daniel Bryan/Kane vs. Prime Time Players

Winners get Kofi/Truth on Sunday for the titles. Kane and Titus start things off with the bald guy jumping Kane. Off to Bryan who stays right with Titus to take over. Young comes in with a rollup for two and a double shoulder block from the Players puts Bryan down again. Yong puts on a cravate but Bryan escapes, only to get distracted by the fans. Titus comes in and walks into some kicks but he hits a backbreaker to slow Bryan down again.

There’s a chinlock which doesn’t last long and it’s back to Young. Something is going on at the announce table and the people are all looking at it. The word on the street is that something is very wrong with Lawler and it may be something along the lines of a legit seizure. That’s scary stuff man.

They trade uppercuts before Bryan gets caught in another chinlock. Bryan suplexes Young down but he won’t tag. Bryan misses a Swan Dive and it’s chinlock #3 in the match. Another suplex gets Bryan out of trouble but he still won’t tag. After kicking the tar out of Young, Bryan gets too close to the corner and Kane tags himself in. He cleans house and hits the top rope clothesline on Young but Titus breaks up the chokeslam. After disposing of Titus, Bryan tags himself back, only to get chokeslammed onto Young, sending the anger management buddies to Night of Champions at 8:30.

Rating: D+. The match was pretty dull but this was absolutely the right move. These two had gotten way too much momentum to not do anything on the PPV and it’s not like the Players can’t get put back in later. Not a good match, but it’s 100% the right move to make. Hopefully they win the titles and bring something fun to them again.

We recap the opening segment.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Tyson Kidd

Kidd comes out second which is surprising. Tyson almost immediately takes Del Rio down but can’t get the Sharpshooter. Del Rio hammers away but gets caught in a quick Sharpshooter. He gets the rope on the second try and almost immediately the armbreaker gets the tap out at 2:50.

Del Rio says he’ll win the title.

Cole says Lawler passed out at the announce table. They’re performing CPR and Cole is adamant that this isn’t part of the show. This is real based on everything I can find.

Sheamus vs. David Otunga

Cole isn’t saying anything still. Otunga jumps him to start and I don’t think we’re going to have commentary for awhile. Cole can be seen at the desk with his head on his hand watching the match but he isn’t saying anything. Otunga gets in an early shot but Sheamus pounds him down and the Cloverleaf gets the tap out at 1:28.

Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick post match. This brings out AJ who says….nothing because Booker interrupts her. Booker is conducting an internal investigation and if Sheamus uses the kick before it’s over, he’s stripped of the title.

This is very eerie right now as the show is basically operating like a house show because we’re not sure what’s happening with Lawler. This is legit scary.

Back from a break and Cole still isn’t saying anything. We get a clip from the tag match which I think is after Lawler collapsed. Yeah it’s the ending of the match with Kane chokeslamming Bryan.

The tag champs send out a Tout about keeping the belts on Sunday.

Kane and Bryan are with the doctor and are still arguing. The doctor says they passed a trial. Bryan didn’t appreciate the chokeslam but they won and that’s what matters. An argument breaks out out over whose name comes first in the team name. The doctor suggests Team Friendship, drawing a collective NO.

We get the rundown of the graphics for the matches on Sunday with no commentary.

Cole is back on screen and says Lawler passed out and was stretchered to the back. Lawler has been taken to a hospital in Montreal. He’s receiving oxygen but is breathing on his own. There won’t be any further commentary tonight. That might be the best idea. In advance, I want to apologize if the last part of the review is off. I’m not going to be able to focus that well and I apologize in advance. This is scary stuff and when you see it happen live, it’s hard to take in all at once.

Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes

The lack of commentary is eerie. Cody drops down twice early, getting hit once and hitting Rey once. Cody hits the release godrbuster but Cross Rhodes is broken up. They go back and forth for a bit with Rey hitting the sitout bulldog and taking out an interfering Miz before the 619 can hit. Miz’s distraction lets Cross Rhodes get the pin at about 5:00.

Rating: C. This was fine and when you consider how messed up these guys might be, that’s pretty impressive stuff. They have to get people’s minds off what they just saw and that’s not easy no matter what you do. The match was just a match for the most part and I guess they were trying to set up something for Sunday, which they had to do.

Post match Cody hits Cross Rhodes on Miz for no apparent reason. He holds up the title and I think that’s a challenge for Sunday which would be heel vs. heel.

Post break Cole tells us a bit more about what happened to Lawler earlier. Lawler was breathing on his own and now he’s more responsive than he was earlier. He’s reacting to lights being put in his eyes and is in the isolated ER, awaiting a CAT scan.

Here’s Hart for the closing segment. He brings out Cena and says that he sees a lot of himself and Shawn Michaels in Cena and Punk. Cena talks about how he’s nowhere near those two and he thanks Bret for the compliment. Punk isn’t like Shawn because Punk isn’t always himself. Hart wants to know what Cena is going to do to shut Punk up.

Cue the champ who is annoyed at the lack of respect. Cena calls Punk out and asks for a fight but Punk says Cena is the biggest phony in the company. Punk talks about how the two in the ring have been surpassed by people better than themselves, those people being Punk himself and Shawn Michaels. Punk says that comparison doesn’t work though because he’s better than Shawn. He’s better than Austin and Rock too. Punk says he’s the best at everything and his eyes are bugging out. Cena says Punk is right but that makes Punk a liar and a scumbag.

Cena talks about how Punk has spent a year watching PPVs go by and thinking that everyone is against him. Punk said everything on the mic and then became champion in Chicago, which made the fans believe change was coming. Then it became clear that Punk didn’t want ice cream bars or new talent or anything else. He wanted to be a star and that’s it. Cena mentions a line Punk said about becoming what he hated the most and that’s true. On the other hand there’s Punk who has no idea who he is.

Punk steals colors from Hall of Famers and stole the elbow from the late Randy Savage. CM has changed his identity over and over again over the years and right now it’s based around being champion. Cena stops to thank the fans for a bit and starts speaking French, drawing perhaps the loudest face pop he’s gotten in years. Punk yells at Cena for sucking up to the crowd and it’s time to get in each others’ faces. Cena says he’ll beat Punk up on Sunday so Punk pulls back to hit Bret, only to be stopped by Cena. Cena takes the shirt off and Punk goes for Bret again, only to get punched down and out to the floor to end the show.

Scratch that as Cole says Lawler is breathing on his own and his heart is beating on his own.  He’s stabilizing and Cole gives us a recap of everything tonight.  LAwler is awaiting a CAT Scan still.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a better show than last week but obviously that’s not what matters here, nor is the show on Sunday. Lawler is the important thing here and the updates coming in about him are at least somewhat positive. The last half hour of the show gets a total pass as you can’t blame the guys for their performance, nor is it important. The show built the PPV well enough, even though that’s not important right now.

Results

Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Antonio Cesaro/The Miz – Trouble in Paradise to Cesaro

Eve Torres/Kaitlyn/Layla b. Beth Phoenix/Natalya/Alicia Fox – Spinning neckbreaker to Fox

Randy Orton b. CM Punk via DQ when Dolph Ziggler interfered

Randy Orton/Jerry Lawler b. CM Punk/Dolph Ziggler – RKO to Ziggler

Ryback b. Heath Slater – Shell Shock

Daniel Bryan/Kane b. Prime Time Players – Bryan pinned O’Neal after a chokeslam from Kane

Alberto Del Rio b. Tyson Kidd – Cross Armbreaker

Sheamus b. David Otunga – Texas Cloverleaf

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

This is legit.  From what I can find he might have had a seizure and vomited.  It happened right at about ten PM EST and he was carried away during the Prime Time Players vs. Kane/Bryan.  I’ll let you know whenever I find out anything else.

Update #3: Meltzer says it was a heart attack.  Jerry isn’t out of the woods yet but he’s more stable.

Update #2: Cole said that Lawler’s heart was beating on his own and that he was breathing on his own.  His condition is stablizing apparently which is a good sign.  More to come later I’m sure.

Update: Lawler has been taken to a hospital and is breathing on his own.  He’s responding to lights in his eyes and is awake to an extent.  I’ll update this with anything else I hear.

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 27, 2012
Location: Bradley Arena, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

The focus tonight is going to be on Punk, at least in theory. He attacked Lawler last week which will probably set up a match between the two of them because the WWE solution to a heel turn that isn’t quit clicking is always to beat up the King. Also we need to find out if Cena vs. Punk III is going to happen, which I think you already know the answer to. Let’s get to it.

We open with the standard recap from Summerslam and last week.

Cole does the usual opening to the show but Lawler gets in the ring. He says that at the end of Raw 1000, he said something that Punk took offense to, and last week Punk kicked him in the head for it. Now Lawler wants an apology so he calls out Punk. Here’s the champ who isn’t pleased. Punk actually does say he’s sorry, but he doesn’t get how beating up a bunch of nobodies from Memphis makes you a Hall of Famer.

Punk runs down Lawler’s career and focuses on his time on commentary. After all those years, Lawler got a Wrestlemania moment and he couldn’t even beat Michael Cole. Lawler gets angry and Punk wants to know if Lawler wants a fight. Lawler says no but Punk keeps pushing it. Punk leaves and Lawler says he’ll think about it.

Jack Swagger vs. Ryback

Ryback takes him down almost immediately and slams Swagger’s head into the mat over and over. A charge misses though and Swagger shoulder blocks Ryback down. Vader Bomb hits feet but Swagger counters into an ankle lock attempt. Ryback escapes and pounds him in the corner. A BADLY botched backdrop results in Swagger being dropped on his head ala Sabu vs. Benoit in ECW. The clothesline sets up Shell Shock for the pin at 2:12.

Swagger says that’s it and yells a lot.

Lawler is still thinking about fighting Punk.

Natalya vs. Layla

Before the match, Vickie comes out and says to hurry the match up because she has something to say. Layla speeds things up to start and hits some nice athletic stuff, including a few rollups and a springboard cross body for two. Natalya kicks her to the floor and ties Layla up in the ring skirt. Back in and Layla tries some rollups before settling for a kick to the head for the pin at 2:48. This was one of the better Divas matches I can remember in a long time.

Vickie tells Layla to leave now because she’s done. Vickie talks about the Jericho vs. Ziggler match last week and complains about how Ziggler had to defend the briefcase. She says that the Board of Directors needs to look at the abuse of power and give it back to an adult like her. Cue AJ who skips to the ring and then snaps, beating the tar out of Vickie and sending her running away.

We get a retrospective of HHH’s time in DX, most of which apparently was in 2006.

It’s time for anger management with Daniel Bryan. He says he doesn’t need to be here because he’s calm and not a loser. A kid comes in wearing a goat mask and Bryan snaps. The doctor says that the kid is his son and he’s in a school play. More later.

Some actor in a WWE Films movie is the social media ambassador.

Punk has sent out a tweet about Lawler and that snaps Jerry. He gets on the table and talks about the people he fought in Memphis, one of which was Andy Kaufman. Lawler is in the WWE Hall of Fame and he got there by standing up to people when he needed to. The match is on tonight.

John Cena vs. The Miz

Non-title of course. Cena takes him to the mat to start with a headlock and we take a quick break. Back with Josh Matthews having taken over for Lawler. Miz is on the floor after escaping an AA. Cena bulldogs Miz down for two but the Champion gets in a shot to Cena to take over. The corner clothesline and top rope double ax gets two. Off to the chinlock as we actually hear about the movie Miz is going to be in. It’s the third Marine movie so take that for what it’s worth.

Cena easily counters out of it with a suplex but Miz hits the backbreaker and neckbreaker combo for two. Cena grabs the STF out of nowhere but Miz is near the ropes. Miz immediately kicks Cena’s knee out and DDTs him down for two. The Final is countered but Miz hits Matt Hardy’s Side Effect for two. Cena blocks the Finale again and starts his finishing sequence. AA gets the completely clean pin at approximately 10:00.

Rating: C. Not bad here and I’ll spare you my usual complaints about a champion losing clean. At least it was to Cena and not someone that was at about the same level that Miz is at. My guess is that this is so Cena can come out at the end of the show which is fine. I like that Miz has changed some of his offense since his return. It’s working pretty well for him.

You can pick from a tables match, a cage match or a No DQ match for the main event.

HHH is still awesome apparently. This one focuses on the torn quad. That would be the first torn quad. The pop for his return in 2002 is still amazing.

Bryan complains about having a bad boss and shows how insane wrestling angles are when you explain then out loud. The last patient for the group shows up and it’s Kane, in full attire including the welding mask.

Heath Slater vs. Santino Marella

Comedy match ahoy! Santino does a slow motion takedown and dances around on Slater’s back. It turns into a dance off but Slater punches him in the face instead. Slater puts him down and goes up but Santino keeps rolling away. Santino starts his comeback and hits his usual stuff before loading up the Cobra. Cue Aksana for the distraction but he hits Slater with it anyway and the pin at 3:14.

Rating: N/A. This was mainly dancing and the rest of the match makes my eyes roll. Next.

Brodus Clay/Sin Cara vs. Cody Rhodes/Damien Sandow

Cody and Sandow say they’re smart before the match. This is joined in progress after a break with Cody holding Cara in a chinlock. Off to Sandow for that spinning elbow before it’s back to Cody. Cara snaps off a rana and makes the tag to Brodus. A powerslam gets two on Cody but it draws Sandow in to break it up. Cara sends him to the floor and dives onto Damien to take him out. Brodus headbutts Cody out of the air and splashes him for the pin at 2:35 shown.

Back at anger management, Kane takes off his mask to reveal his second mask. Kane explains his entire character’s history and it’s absolutely hilarious. “I’ve buried my brother alive. Twice actually. And for reasons unclear, I have an unhealthy obsession with torturing Pete Rose.” Everyone else leaves and Kane chokes a guy named Harold who gets too close to him. This was GREAT.

More HHH stuff.

R-Truth vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan tries to suppress his anger on the way to the ring. Truth and Bryan actually fist bump before the match starts. The fans chant GOAT FACE at Bryan to tick him off. Bryan fist bumps Little Jimmy before firing off the kicks to Truth. Truth comes back with the spinning forearm for two and sends Bryan to the floor. In a funny bit, Truth grabs the mic and says that YES, we are in Milwaukee! That makes Bryan snap and he yells at the crowd long enough to get counted out at 3:05.

Rating: C+. Most of this is for the comedy alone. Bryan is on FIRE right now and when he turns face it’s going to be huge. Also, thank goodness they didn’t have a champion lose again. This was barely even a match but it worked well for the anger thing. Also, Bryan continues to get the loudest reactions of the night.

Bryan snaps and freaks out in the ring.

Here’s HHH for the big announcement about whether or not he’s retiring. He talks about how he wanted to retire before the ring retired him. You can’t fight time and he doesn’t want to be the guy who comes back for the nostalgia pop and comes out because he’s just getting a check. Lesnar has brought him to this point. HHH says he wants to come out here and be the Game and the Cerebral Assassin and beat up Lesnar, but he doesn’t know if he can.

If he can’t come back and beat Lesnar, maybe he’s answered his own question. HHH talks about how everyone comes out here every week for the fans and every time someone comes through the curtain, they hope the fans care. “I think that every time I’ve come to the ring, you’ve all cared.” We’re just ignoring 2003 now aren’t we? HHH starts crying and says thank you for letting him play the game. He drops the mic and the fans chant “thank you Hunter.”

Dolph Ziggler/Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus/Randy Orton

Ziggler comes out to Jericho’s entrance but says you’ll never see him again after last week. Cole explains the MITB idea in detail as Orton and Ziggler start things off. Orton hits a quick slingshot suplex for no cover as he has to take out an interfering Del Rio. Sheamus hits a shoulder from the apron to take Alberto down. Ziggler bails to the floor as well as we take a break.

Back with Del Rio sending Orton into the post and then back inside for Ziggler to hit a knee to the ribs for two. Off to Alberto who starts in on the arm as is his custom. Orton sends Del Rio to the floor and finally makes the tag to Sheamus as Ziggler is brought in for the other team. White Noise is countered but the Irish Curse hits as everything breaks down. Ricardo throws in the briefcase but Orton hits the backbreaker on Ziggler followed by the Brogue Kick for the pin at 8:30.

Rating: C-. This was nothing of note at all and really should have been saved for the main event of Smackdown. It looks like we’re getting Ziggler vs. Orton which is fine with me, as Orton seems like a guy who would have great chemistry with Dolph in the ring. Not much to see here but it advanced both feuds to a degree, which is fine.

Lawler asks Cena to not help him tonight. Cena seems to agree.

Kane comes out and Matthews runs off. Kane sits down on commentary for the next match.

David Otunga vs. Zach Ryder

Cole talks about social media and mentions Otunga being in a movie with “Holly” Berry. Otunga controls to start as Cole keeps trying to get anything out of Kane. It’s sad to see the fans not care about Ryder at all anymore, but can you blame them? Ryder goes up but gets tripped off the ropes. That means nothing though as the Rough Ryder hits out of nowhere for the pin at 2:24.

Post match Kane grabs Ryder by the throat but lets him go and chokeslams Otunga instead. Ok then.

Cage match wins the poll by a large margin.

AJ comes out and says it’s Cena vs. Punk at Night of Champions because she says so. Doesn’t that make the whole ending of last week’s show pointless?

CM Punk vs. Jerry Lawler

In a cage because the fans want it that way. Punk offers Lawler a free shot and it knocks Punk into the corner. This is non-title of course. Punk comes back with a neckbreaker as this match is going very slowly to start. As they’re going this slowly, I saw a report that says that Harold from earlier was played by Scorpio Sky, aka Mason Andrews from recent TNA fame. Lawler gets slammed onto the mat and Punk goes up the corner.

That goes nowhere as Lawler moves so Punk snap mares him down and hits a low dropkick. CM goes up again but gets crotched. Lawler goes for the door but Punk pulls him back in and drops a bunch of elbows. Punk keeps saying he’s the King of Memphis, Tennessee. Another neckbreaker is countered and Punk is sent into the cage. The fans think this is boring as Lawler makes his comeback. He goes up and drops the strap and the middle rope punch hits for two. Punk hits the knee in the corner and the Rock Bottom into the Vice for the tap at 7:40.

Rating: D. This was pretty bad. Lawler looked old and slow here, which to be fair is true. The cage meant nothing at all here, because there was no point to putting this in a cage. But hey, the fans got to vote on it and that means people care right? Nothing to see here for the most part, but at least it ends this Punk vs. Lawler jazz.

Post match Punk goes under the ring and finds a chain and a lock. He locks the cage shut and puts Lawler in a chinlock. Punk appears to be bleeding from the forearm. He demands that Lawler say he’s the best in the world but Lawler won’t do it. Punk beats on him until Cena comes out but Cena can’t get in. Instead of, I don’t know, climbing the cage, he screams to raise the cage as Punk drops a bunch of knees on Lawler’s head. It finally goes up and Punk says he’s the best in the world before bailing.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was hit and miss all night. A lot of the stuff that happened here came and went and seemed to be to build for later matches. That’s fine, but it can get pretty dull at times. On the other hand, you had stuff like the Kane segment at anger management which was great. HHH’s promo was just a waste of time as no one believes that he’s going to retire in the middle of a pretty meaningless show in Milwaukee. It wasn’t a bad show but it came and went, which doesn’t really help anyone.

Results

Ryback b. Jack Swagger – Shell Shock

Layla b. Natalya – Kick to the head

John Cena b. The Miz – Attitude Adjustment

Santino Marella b. Heath Slater – Cobra

Brodus Clay/Sin Cara b. Cody Rhodes/Damien Sandow – Splash to Rhodes

R-Truth b. Daniel Bryan via countout

Sheamus/Randy Orton b. Alberto Del Rio/Dolph Ziggler – Brogue Kick to Ziggler

Zach Ryder b. David Otunga – Rough Ryder

CM Punk b. Jerry Lawler – Anaconda Vice

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

TNA Weekly PPV #5
Date: July 17, 2002
Location: Nashville Municipal Auditorium
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Ed Ferrara, Don West

It’s another TNA show here and we’re continuing some interesting stuff from last week in the form of the Disciples coming after Jarrett. On top of that, we have Hall vs. Lawler tonight in the main event. Uh…did I mention we have the Disciples coming after Jarrett? We also have an adult star in a match as well as midgets. Can’t you tell how overjoyed I am? Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Jarrett’s path of rage over the first four episodes.

During the week, Shamrock snapped on Goldilocks and offers to beat her up. That’s pretty out of character for him.

We cut to the back where Hall and Jarrett are fighting. Security finally breaks it up and we’re told that Jarrett (wasn’t he suspended last week?) is out of his #1 contenders ladder match with Malice.

Here are the Disciples and Mitchell with the latter having a mic in the ring. He issues an open challenge to face Malice in the ladder match for the title shot. The lights go out and we have an opponent.

Malice vs. Sabu

Sabu goes right for him and gets in some good shots before running into an elbow from Malice to take him down. This is a ladder match remember. A chair is thrown in to Malice but Sabu channels his inner Raven and drop toeholds him onto it. There are two pelts of the chair to Malice’s head (love that move) but Air Sabu is caught in the corner into a backbreaker. The chair is wedged between the top and middle rope by another of the Disciples and there goes Sabu’s head into it.

Malice gets thrown to the floor and gets a ladder and because he’s not that bright, holds it in front of his face so Sabu can hit a baseball slide into the ladder into Malice’s head. Air Sabu over the top takes Malice out but Sabu has to fight off Tempest before going after Malice again. Sabu sets up a table because he’s, you know, Sabu, but Malice hits him before he can use it.

Sabu gets dropped face first onto the ladder which busts him open. The ladder is set up in the corner and Malice splashes Sabu against it before hitting a World’s Strongest Slam on both Sabu and the ladder at the same time. Sabu rams Malice with the ladder as he won’t stay down at all. To be fair, that’s Sabu’s trait so it’s not as big of a deal. A climb doesn’t work for Sabu and Malice hits a release belly to belly on Sabu onto the ladder. Malice still can’t get to the contract because as always in ladder matches, people only stay down for about 20 seconds at a time.

Malice misses a charge into the ladder in the corner and Air Sabu hits this time, driving Malice into the ladder again. Sabu goes up but the ladder gets kicked out from underneath him. A chair to the face slows Malice down but Sabu walks into a spinebuster to take him down again. Malice goes up and there’s the big shove off to put him through that table at ringside. That’s good enough to let Sabu get the contract and the title show.

Rating: B. Considering this was Sabu vs. The Wall, this was a miracle. They went with the spotfest formula here and it worked well in this case. Sabu hit most of his spots and some of the bumps looked good. I was digging the Sabu vs. the army of Disciples here and the match was a great surprise.

The Disciples destroy Sabu post match and Malice chokeslams him through a table.

Here’s AJ with something to say. He calls out his partner Jerry Lynn and they yell at each other a bit. Lynn talks about how many years he’s been wrestling (Tenay: “THAT’S A SHOOT!” Well yeah I guess but that’s not exactly a shocking statement) and asks how long AJ has been wrestling and what he’s accomplished. Lynn doesn’t like AJ stealing all the glory. Jerry goes to leave but gets kicked in the head (in an interesting note, that’s exactly what happened on Raw last night) and AJ hits the Styles Clash.

We recap St. Claire’s striptease from last week before going to Jasmine in the bathroom. Francine runs in and jumps her, leaving her laying as a result.

Here’s K-Krush for a chat. Krush says everyone needs to look at him because he looks like a star, he sounds like a star and he even smells like a star. So why isn’t he the biggest star in this business? Why did WWE let him go? It’s because he was going to become the hottest star in the company but they didn’t want something they were afraid of. Now he’s going to go to the top of the mountain. The fans seem to like what they’re hearing here a lot. He says he’s the Truth.

K-Krush vs. Norman Smiley

Krush jumps him before the bell but Smiley comes back with some Tough Enough level offense and some dancing. A slam puts Krush down and it’s the BIG WIGGLE! Basically it’s simulated anal sex but much more humorous. Krush avoids a clothesline and kicks Norman’s head off to take over. When all else fails, hit him in the face. Krush pounds away but Smiley grabs a belly to back suplex to put him down. That gets him nowhere though as Krush hits him in the ribs again and a sitout gordbuster gets the pin.

Rating: D+. This was an interesting time for Krush as he would get very popular all of a sudden before being turned face by the crowd reactions alone. This would all happen in the span of like three weeks no matter what he did to get on the nerves of the fans. The match was nothing but an extended squash.

Post match Krush whips Smiley with a belt and hangs him. Smiley’s wife waddles out and gets choked as well.

Puppet the midget is in a trash can and doesn’t want to talk. Somehow this takes 90 seconds. We pan over to the Dupps who are playing with fire. This would be the dumb parts of the show I’ve been telling you about.

Flying Elvises vs. Christopher Daniels/Elix Skipper

It’s a brawl to start and a member of each team is sent to the floor. The two in the ring both head to the floor very quickly with Skipper hitting a big flip dive to the floor. Siaki and Skipper get us going to start and scratch the Siaki half as it’s off to Estrada. Skipper is in trouble so Siaki drops to the floor and jumps in on commentary. He brags a bit before taking his shirt off and taking a tag.

It’s been all Elvises so far and an old A-Train over the shoulder backbreaker gets two. Back to Estrada as Siaki gets on commentary again. Estrada puts Skipper in a Razor’s Edge position and sits out into a kind of powerbomb for two. Skipper gets in a dropkick and it’s off to Daniels. Daniels and Skipper are the good guys here but they’re not really thrilling the crowd so far.

Things speed up and Daniels fires off clotheslines and dropkicks all around before Estrada suplexes him down to shift the momentum again. With Daniels on all fours, Skipper runs in, springboards off him, onto Estrada’s shoulders and then onto Siaki for a rana. A Blue Thunder Bomb gets two for Daniels on Estrada as this has picked up VERY quickly. Estrada comes back with a middle rope legdrop for two and it’s back to Siaki.

An enziguri puts Jorge (Estrada) down and it’s a double tag to bring in Skipper and Siaki. A belly to belly puts Estrada down and a floatover double underhook suplex gets two. Estrada comes back with an X Factor for two as this is slowing down a bit again. Daniels comes back in for the BME for two on Estrada and a missile dropkick from Skipper gets two on Siaki. The Play of the Day puts Estrada down but Siaki comes in and hits a rolling suplex into a neckbreaker for the pin on Skipper.

Rating: C. The match was entertaining enough for a spot fest, but it ran a bit longer than it needed to. On top of that, at the end of the day your X Division heels are called the Flying Elvises. They’re in the white Elvis suits but other than that, there’s nothing Elvis related about them. The name is too distracting for it to be such a small part of the gimmick and it’s making them more of a joke than a threat.

The Dupps come out and hit Estrada with some boards post match. Siaki bails and lets Estrada get destroyed.

K-Krush says nothing before Hall jumps him and beats him down.

Puppet vs. Meatball

Meatball was on Hogan’s Micro Championships Wrestling. This is a hardcore match and Meatball brings a bag of Doritos with him. Oh this is going to be painful. Puppet blasts him with a trashcan to start but he pulls up at a two count. A modified Van Daminator puts Meatball down and we head to the floor. Meatball picks him up and takes him to a shopping cart….and it’s full of food. I’ll sum up the next fer minutes: pie, eggs, pineapple, sugar, watermelon. Another Van Daminator (without the chair actually hitting Meatball) puts him down and this needs to end now. Puppet wins with a Vader Bomb onto a chair.

Rating: N/A. I review wrestling, not stupid freak show comedy. Thankfully this was the last week of this nonsense.

Another midget simulates sex with one of the cage dancers.

Jasmine St. Claire vs. Francine

Oh geez it just keeps going. It’s a catfight, clothes are ripped off, Francine wins by DQ in like 80 seconds when Blue Meanie comes in and DDTs Francine. I don’t think either girl appeared for the company again.

Francine is taken out on a stretcher.

Low Ki has nothing to say.

We get some highlights of Low Ki and AJ’s finishers.

X-Division Title: AJ Styles vs. Low Ki

Ki won this shot last week in the elimination match. They take it to the mat very quickly and Low Ki fires off some chops. That gets him nowhere so it turns into a kick fest. Low Ki takes him down by the leg and it’s off to a front facelock. A fan with a sign is being taken out so the match slows down a lot so the fans don’t miss anything. AJ avoids a kick and dropkicks Low Ki down a few times.

Low Ki kicks AJ in the head and out to the apron. You may notice multiple variations of the word “kick” a lot in this match. I’m not saying Low Ki can’t do much other than kick…..actually yeah I am. It’s like 75% of his offense and it gets pretty repetitive. Low Ki gets sent to the floor but Styles misses an Asai Moonsault. Styles gets on the apron and Low Ki hits a standing enziguri to kick him back into the ring. They both head to the apron and strike it out before Low Ki hooks the Dragon Clutch (a version of the Dragon Sleeper) on the apron.

Back in the ring AJ elbows him down for two. Powerslam gets two for the champion as does a brainbuster. AJ goes up and after blocking a superplex, he fires off the Spiral Tap but Low Ki moves and gets two. The Ki Crusher 99 (modified fisherman’s buster) is countered into a DDT but Styles can’t cover. Low Ki sends him into the corner and after a cartwheel, he stops, jumps in the air and kicks AJ in the head. Low Ki goes up and tries some flip into a rana but gets (mostly) caught in the Clash to keep the belt on Styles.

Rating: C+. I do not like Low Ki or Senshi or Kaval or whatever Japanese sounding name he has this week. We get it: you can throw a freaking kick, NOW DO SOMETHING ELSE. It’s that same nonsense that made me sick of ROH and Davey Richards and it drives me crazy when Low Ki does it here. Throw a freaking suplex or something already.

As Styles leaves, Lynn pops up and blasts him. Back to the ring a ladder is set up and Styles gets thrown into it via a suplex (paying attention Low Ki?). He throws Styles around a bit more and leaves him laying with a Cradle Piledriver. They defend the titles next week.

Sabu has asked for the world title match next week to be a ladder match. Shamrock said ok but the NWA has decided it’s ladder or submission. Sure why not.

Brian Lawler vs. Scott Hall

Before the match Lawler cuts his usual Memphis heel promo which doesn’t do anything for fans outside of Memphis. He runs down Jerry Lawler, talking about the number of marriages Jerry has had. There was a ticket left for Jerry tonight but apparently he’s at a high school trying to lure underage girls to him. Oh give me a break. Hall finally cuts him off….or at least his music does. Lawler talks about Hall a bit but Hall is behind him as you would expect. Hall stands behind him for almost two minutes before Lawler notices.

Hall finally decks him and Lawler goes to the floor. This has all taken nearly ten minutes before we finally get Lawler thrown onto the announce table. We head up the ramp with Lawler getting punched down again and again. Lawler finally gets in a right hand and they head into the ring. After some punches in the corner, a suplex gets two for Lawler. This guy is AWFUL as a heel in the ring.

They head to the floor for Lawler to run his mouth to the crowd before heading back in for a slugout. A superkick puts Hall down and it’s goggles time. Like any heel worth anything though, Lawler takes too long going up and gets slammed down. There’s the fallaway slam and a belly to back superplex but K-Krush runs in to break up the Edge. That’s not a DQ for some reason and the Edge gets the pin on Lawler.

Rating: D. Brian Lawler is a very boring wrestler as a heel. He’s a master of the Memphis style but sweet goodness it does not work on a national stage. This was a nine minute match with about three minutes worth of offense. The main event stuff on this show is driving me insane but it should crank up in a few weeks.

Krush and Lawler beat down Hall and choke him with the belt from earlier. Hall is taken out on a stretcher but Jarrett sneaks in as a paramedic and beats up Hall with a chair to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The show was about setting up for the future and that’s fine. There are still some major problems, but thankfully the midgets and the girls would be gone after this week. The other big problem is the main event feud with Hall as the top face of the company. Hall in that role is ok for the most part but Lawler just isn’t doing it for me at all. The problem is mainly that with Shamrock as the world champion having random matches, there’s really no reason for Hall to be fighting these three guys. Without spoiling too much, that’ll change soon. Decent show this week as the problems are starting to be solved.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

CWA Championship Wrestling
Date: January 15, 1983
Location: WMC-TV Studios, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Lance Russell, Dave Brown

This is the last episode in this series of CWA shows as I’m sure people are getting tired of this old Memphis stuff. At the end of the day, this is before the idea of supershows as we know them, so it’s hard to have anything to build to other than house shows. Lawler has lost the world title back to Bockwinkel in a rematch which may or may not be mentioned tonight. Let’s get to it.

Sheepherders vs. Ken Raper/Ira Reese

Reese is back for more punishment this week I guess. Reese starts with Luke and the afroed Reese is in trouble quickly. Off to Boyd who snap mares Reese down a few times to keep him in trouble. Back to Luke who holds Reese for some more punishment from Boyd. This is total dominance so far. Reese finally reverses an Irish whip and tags Raper but Luke beats him down almost immediately. The move we would call the Battering Ram puts Raper down for no cover but the double knee drop ends the massacre with Williams getting the pin.

Rating: D. This was barely long enough to rate. Apparently the Sheepherders are tag champions even though you never see them holding belts and this was only called a non-title match at the very end. They were being kept strong here which is the right kind of idea. Russell teases a match with the Fabs soon which would be good.

Speaking of the Fabs, here’s what might be the same video on them from last week.

House show ad, including a mention of SEVEN title matches on the card. These “titles” would never be seen before or mentioned again after these special shows. Jimmy Hart runs his mouth about Koko Ware who has left the First Family. There’s $5000 involved in a tag match at the upcoming show.

Here’s the First Family (with Koko, as we experience the wonders of house show ads being taped in advance and a big production miscue) with the new Mid-America Champion in the form of Bobby Eaton. Hart (the manager of the team) praises Sabu (not that Sabu) for winning his match and says the only cloud over the Family is Sweet Brown Sugar not beating Terry Taylor. Sugar blames Eaton and a brawl is teased. Hart slaps Sugar and we have a face turn. Sugar leaves and we’re told we’ll see how Hart cost Lawler the world title.

We get a clip from the world title rematch starting with Bockwinkel and Lawler both down. A man in a mask who is allegedly Jimmy Hart distracted the referee when Bockwinkel was covered, causing Lawler to go after him. Lawler got rolled up and a handful of tights gave Bockwinkel the title back. Post match the mask is pulled off and it’s…..ANDY KAUFMAN. Back in the arena Hart brags about getting Kaufman back to Memphis to get revenge.

We get ANOTHER clip, this time of Hart and Kaufman, bragging about getting the belt off Lawler. Kaufman offers $5000 to anyone that can put Lawler in the hospital. That would be the five grand mentioned in the house show ad earlier. That’s quite the long segment for 1983 as this ran almost ten minutes in total, not counting the house show ad which could be considered another part of it.

Terry Taylor/Bill Dundee vs. Sweet Brown Sugar/Bobby Eaton

Dundee and Sugar get us going with Dundee hitting a quick hiptoss for one. Taylor comes in and the good guys mess with the referee a bit so they can cheat. That’s a nice touch. Eaton vs. Taylor now as I’m assuming this is 2/3 falls as well. Eaton gets confused again and punched in the face by Taylor. There are some shenanigans going on here from Dundee and Taylor and I kind of like them.

Back to Dundee who dropkicks Eaton into the corner for two. Sugar comes in for a monkey flip and backdrop for one. Taylor comes back in with a sunset flip for two on Sugar which is broken up by Eaton. Bobby comes in and takes over before tagging right back out to Sugar. You know, because he’s done SO well in this match so far. Eaton comes back in almost immediately so a disaster can’t happen. A big powerslam puts Taylor down but the delayed cover only gets two.

A knee drop keeps Taylor down and it’s back to Sugar. Sugar’s chinlock doesn’t last long and Jimmy wants to fight someone. That goes nowhere and Sugar goes up, but his missile dropkick misses Taylor and takes out Eaton, allowing Taylor to get a quick pin to give his team the first fall. Apparently this was just a one fall match. Ok then.

Rating: C+. This was one of the better matches I’ve seen since I’ve been watching this era in Memphis. The only issue is that we knew the split was coming before the match due to the production gaffe from earlier. Sugar would turn soon after this and I’m sure this is the final straw for Jimmy. The match was good and fast paced though and we had an actual story to it. Good stuff.

Eaton and Hart almost get in a fight with Sugar post match. Jimmy goes on a rant and says Sugar has one minute to get out here and apologize or he’s out of the Family. Post break Hart wants Sugar to come out here and shine his shoes. Sugar doesn’t come out so Hart storms off.

Sabu vs. Jerry Lawler

Boy that would mean a much different match today. Before the match Lawler says he’s sick of Hart and all of his cronies and all their bounties and challenges and all that stuff. If Hart wants to, bring all his boys out here right now and let’s do it. Hart and Sabu come out and it’s on fast. Lawler throws Sabu into the ring and the beating begins. They head to the floor and Lawler destroys him with a chair. I don’t think this was anything resembling a match. Actually the referee is letting it keep going. Eaton runs in and gets a right hand from Jerry.

Lawler beats the tar out of Eaton too before heading back in to beat on Sabu some more. Back to Eaton as Jerry has to keep going between the two of them. He doesn’t seem to have many friends here does he? Sabu finally gets in a shot on Lawler with his collar and the beating is on. Some people finally come in to help but get beaten down as well.

Eddie Marlin finally comes out to get the First Family off Jerry. Sabu shoves Marlin and THE PROMOTER PUNCHES HIM BACK! This would be a big deal here as Marlin rarely got involved at all. The Family beats him down and Brown Sugar finally comes in and cements his face turn by beating up the Family. Lawler gets back up and the ring is cleared. Sugar says he isn’t shining anyone’s shoes and he’s out of the Family.

Bobby Fulton/King Cobra vs. Jesse Barr/Adrian Street

This is what they call an expiration of time match, which is basically an iron man match with the time limit of however much time they can give it. Remember all those matches I call 2/3 falls? Forget that because this is what they mean. This is the first time they’ve bothered to explain the rules so it’s a bit confusing. Street and Fulton get us going and Street prances a bit. That gets followed up by jumping on Fulton and kissing him. It was a different time you see.

Street takes him to the mat and works over the leg in a bridging leg lock. Off to Barr who hooks a bearhug, meaning Fulton has gotten hugs and kisses in this match. A headknocker gets Fulton out of it and he pounds on Barr’s head a bit. Off to Cobra who speeds things up a bit before bringing Fulton back in. I guess Cobra got tired after being in there a full fifteen seconds. Cornette trips Fulton and Barr drops a knee for the pin.

After some house show ads featuring Lawler and Sugar saying they’re coming for what’s left of the First Family, we’re told there’s no time for a second fall so the Cornette Dynasty wins.

Rating: C-. Not much here but the time limit thing gets a little annoying after awhile. I get why they do it because they’re saying you don’t know how much wrestling you’ll get so you better stay tuned, but it’s still hard to get used to. Either way, this was decent with Cornette screwing over a future Fantastic feeling just right.

The announcers recap the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was good like last week’s show but in a different way. This time we set up/continued a big angle as Lawler was feuding with Hart and his boys. That feud went on for a LONG time. Also notice how they keep Kaufman’s shadow over Memphis with the bounty being offered without having to have him there. The production gaffe hurt things here as it spoiled the second half of the show, but it was still entertaining which is a good sign.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

CWA Championship Wrestling
Date: January 8, 1983
Location: WMC-TV Studios, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Lance Russell, Dave Brown

Back to Memphis for another week of a not very interesting show. Hopefully this week is better as in theory Jerry Lawler will be back. He’s coming up on a rematch with Bockwinkel where I’m sure there won’t be any shenanigans afoot. I have up through the middle of February with this show so it should be interesting to see where they go. Let’s get to it.

Sheepherders vs. Ira Reese/Bobby Fulton

Fulton would become one of the Fantastics, my favorite NWA team from the 80s. This is Luke and Jonathan Boyd instead of Butch. Boyd pounds Fulton into the corner to start and it’s quickly off to Luke. It’s odd to see them in red. Fulton tries to speed things up but he gets double teamed almost immediately. A knee drop gets two for Luke and it’s back to Boyd. Fulto hits a shoulder and finally makes the tag to Reese. The Herders run him over too and it’s time for Reese to suffer some too. Williams knees him in the back and they double team choke Reese a bit. A double knee drop gets the pin on Reese.

Rating: D. This was a long squash and not a very entertaining one. It’s amazing to see how different the Sheepherders were as compared to the Bushwackers as these guys were brutal and violent. When these guys (and by that I mean the Butch version) had good opponents, they could have some great bloody wars.

Video on the Fabulous Ones who were flamboyant but very popular. They were good too.

Video on the Lawler vs. Bockwinkel title match with Jerry finally getting the belt. There are clips of other matches they had in here too.

Jerry Lawler vs. The Invader

Lawler throws him around a few times and then takes out the leg for a basic hold on it. Lawler counters a headlock into a knee crusher and it’s clear he doesn’t really have to try here. Invader fires off some right hands in the corner but Lawler easily slugs him down and the middle rope punch gets the pin.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here but Lawler was fun back in his day. I know all most people remember to day are his weak jokes, but Lawler knew how to work a crowd like few others could. I could guarantee that if you put him in a feud today when he’s in his early 60s, you could have him be a heel or a face and he would have the crowd eating out of the palm of his hand in about a week. It’s an art form and Lawler is a master of it.

Lawler, who still doesn’t have the belt with him as it was held up, looks at a clip from the title changing match. The referee was bumped and Bockwinkel’s feet were in the ropes during the pin but the referee didn’t see it. At least there’s a legit issue with the title change. Bockwinkel goes on a rant about how he didn’t lose and promises that this won’t stand. After a break, Lawler doesn’t respond to what we just saw. Ok then.

Apocalypse vs. Bill Dundee

Dundee immediately knocks Apocalypse to the floor for a consultation with the still young looking Jim Cornette. Back in and Apocalypse takes him down and splashes Dundee for two. After some more power stuff, Apocalypse goes up and hits a middle rope headbutt to a standing Dundee for two. Dundee comes out of the corner with a cross body which draws in Cornette and his boys for the DQ.

The Cornette Dynasty destroys Dundeed post match. Jacques Rougeau and Terry Taylor finally make the save.

Video on Terry Taylor. This goes on for like three minutes.

Bobby Eaton/Sweet Brown Sugar vs. Jacques Rougeau/Terry Taylor

Rougeau is the Mid-America Champion and Taylor is the Southern Champion. Sugar is more famous as Koko B. Ware. Taylor and Eaton get going to start and things speed up, which you know is going to be at least moderately awesome. Off to Sugar who is immediately taken over in a headlock by Taylor. Rougeau comes in and things slow down a bit. We get a test of strength resulting in Rougeau monkey flipping Sugar down.

Back to Eaton who is taken down by another headlock as things slow down even more. Eaton has black hair here which is an odd look on him. The heels finally wake up and cheat to take over on Jacques. Taylor gets a quick hot tag and cleans house, only to get poked in the eye and taken down. Sugar works on his back and then the arm as the fans are WILD about Taylor. Back to Eaton with a knee drop for no cover.

Sugar comes in again and I think this is 2/3 falls. They’re really bad about letting us know these things in advance. I get that it’s a common thing of the era, but if you’re someone like me who doesn’t get to see this regularly, a little notification would help. Taylor finally gets away from Eaton and it’s off to Rougeau for a quick middle rope dropkick on sugar, good for the first fall.

We start fall #2 with Sugar taking over on Rougeau. Back to Eaton as Jacques is in trouble early on. After some quick offense from Eaton, Sugar comes back in for a fast chinlock. Rougeau misses a cross body out of the corner as Eaton ducks and gets two off of it. Jacques finally makes a comeback but doesn’t tag for some reason. Eaton trips him up coming off the top, allowing Sugar to drop an elbow on him for two.

Rating: C. There’s no time for a third fall so this is going to end in another draw. This wasn’t bad and it was fast paced enough, but I’m not a big fan of Koko and I’m certainly no fan of Taylor. Still though, this was certainly interesting enough to keep my attention for the last fifteen minutes of the show. Not great but not bad so we’ll go right in the middle.

Overall Rating: C+. I liked this show better than last week and a lot of that was due to the main event and Lawler. Last week’s main event was a big mess but this one, while not the best in the world, was much more coherent and easier to follow. At the end of the day though, the important thing here though is Lawler. He’s made to be the biggest thing on the show and when you don’t see him there, it makes the show seem less important. He made it that much better.

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