USWA Wrestling Challenge
Date: January 27, 1990
Location: Sportatorium, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Marc Lowrance, Terrance Garvin, Jerry Lawler

Here’s the final show I have for these guys at the moment. We’ve jumped ahead another three weeks so hopefully we get something a little newer here. Also am I missing something or has there been no Lawler in a long time? Anyway this show can’t get much more boring so let’s get to it.

As usual we open with a clip from last week where Adams/Funk beat up Braddock/Chu-Hi but Tojo came in for the DQ. Adams came back with a superkick to take out Chi-Hi and that’s it.

Some chick sings America the Beautiful.

Chris Adams vs. Texas Battleship

No idea who Battleship is but he’s good sized. The fans chant Superkick and they circle each other a lot. Battleship is sent to the floor and Adams hits a suicide dive to take him out. Back in a top rope superkick ends this quick.

Here’s Lawler who is defending against JYD next week. Lowrance wants to know when Kerry gets his title shot as well. Lawler runs down all of Texas and says that he’ll be champion as long as he wants. As for JYD, he may have brought himself up from the gutter but he’s getting homesick. JYD has become a religious man lately since he’s been praying for something to happen to keep him from having to face Lawler. As for Lowrance, the people aren’t clapping for him. They’re slapping their heads to stay awake. Lawler is going to sit in on commentary.

Texas Title: Chris Youngblood vs. Kerry Von Erich

Well Lawler is certainly better than Garvin. Lawler wants to know how Kerry can call himself a Modern Day Warrior when he’s a washed up has been. Kerry is defending of course. He wants Lawler gone for his match but Jerry is allowed to stay. Lawler leaves on his own so he can watch Youngblood take the title. Kerry punches Chris to the floor to start and grabs a quick Claw but Youngblood bails.

We take a break and come back with Youngblood chopping in the corner. There’s a guitar on a pole match coming up. Holy Russo Batman! Youngblood hooks a wristlock but Kerry comes back with a discus punch to tie Youngblood up in the ropes. Chris tries to leave so they fight on the floor with Kerry’s face going into the post. Kerry takes a chair to the back but it’s not a DQ. Kerry tries the discus punch but he hits the post.

Youngblood works over the hand now. He’s a Medicine Man if I didn’t mention that. Back inside and it’s time for an abdominal stretch. You know, after Kerry punched a steel post. Kerry escapes and loads up the Claw but Youngblood blocks it. Kerry settles for the Stomach Claw instead but Youngblood punches out of it and we head back to the floor. Back in the ring the discus punch hits again as does a piledriver. Youngblood is up way too fast so Kerry rolls him up for the pin.

Rating: C-. This match was nothing great but WOW what a breath of fresh air this was to have someone out there that was capable of showing some energy instead of just standing around and moving very slowly. Kerry may have been drugged out of his mind most matches but he could get a crowd going and that’s more than most people lately have been able to say.

We recap Jarrett vs. Travis. Apparently Travis has been dressing up in an Elvis jumpsuit and hitting people with a guitar. The solution: a guitar on a pole match. We also get a quick video on Jarrett.

Billy Joe Travis vs. Jeff Jarrett

Lawler comes back to do commentary. Jarrett jumps Travis as soon as he gets in and they head to the floor. It’s so weird hearing the voice of Raw on here. Back in the ring and Jarrett whacks him with a chair. Billy for the pole but Jarrett gets a great right hand to stop him. After saying the word superplex, Jeff hits one to take Billy down. Jarrett DDTs Travis on the table which doesn’t move an inch. There’s a piledriver on the floor and partially onto a chair. We take a break and come back with Jarrett tombstoning Travis and getting the guitar. That’s what you have to do to win. Ok then.

Rating: C+. This was basically a Jarrett squash. That being said, it was entertaining because the idea was to have Travis be the Honky Tonk Man character, as in the guy that everyone can beat but he keeps eluding them. Once you get someone in there that gets their hands on him and tears him apart, he doesn’t stand a chance. This was part of the blowoff for that and it worked pretty well.

Post match Lawler comes in the ring and beats down Jeff. Out to the floor and Jeff goes into the post. Lawler hits Jarrett with the guitar, breaking it after about three shots. Kerry Von Erich makes the save. Lawler sells his punches incredibly well. The numbers catch up with Kerry and Lawler gets in some shots with the handle of the guitar. Jarrett makes the save with a chair.

Overall Rating: C. See now THIS is more like it. It’s not a great show or anything but there was actual energy in these matches. Jarrett looked like a big deal, Kerry was his usual self with firing up the crowd, Adams was good for getting the people going and Lawler is his usual heat generating machine. I want to see Lawler vs. Von Erich now and I’d assume there’s a tag match coming with those four. If I find any more of these shows I’ll throw them up as this one would have made me keep watching.

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall

CWA Championship Wrestling
Date: January 3, 1981
Location: WMC-TV Studios, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentator: Lance Russell

Much like with Power Hour, if I don’t like this one then I’m dropping the whole series. If nothing else it’ll make my list a lot smaller. Anyway we’re in 1981 now and not a lot has probably changed. To give you an idea of how much I enjoyed last week’s show, I don’t remember anything about it for the most part other than a few flashes, and I only reviewed it a few days ago. Let’s get to it.

There’s going to be a retrospective on Jerry Lawler later today.

Tom Maley vs. David Oswald

They go to the mat and it’s a technical exhibition to start. Maley is a rookie here and Oswald is the bigger guy. Back to more mat stuff. Oswald is the heel here it seems. This is a very different style and looks more like an amateur or MMA style here. There hasn’t been a single strike in almost four minutes. Maley keeps taking him down but stands up so Oswald can get in some forearm shots. Maley comes back with forearms of his own but they collide and both guys are down. Oswald hits a knee lift and drops an elbow for the pin.

Rating: C. This was different than almost anything you’ll ever see. It certainly wasn’t bad or boring but it’s really not something that you’re going to want to see. The crowd didn’t seem all that interested but Memphis crowds are always an odd bunch. It wasn’t bad though and was nice to see for something different.

We get a clip from Lawler vs. Dundee, hair vs. hair. Lawler keeps beating on Dundee in the corner until the match is stopped because Dundee can’t continue. Dundee begs them to let it keep going and actually gets his way. Lawler pounds on him again and the beating gets even worse. Dundee hits something like a headbutt…and we cut to another match between them. Make that a highlight reel of them. I want to know who won the hair match.

We get some magic words though: Tupelo Concession Stand Brawl. Video of it later.

House show ads. Lawler has a match with Dream Machine and if he wins, he gets five minutes with Hart. Lawler has been out for eleven months with a broken leg. Nothing will stop him from getting his hands on Hart though.

Here’s a clip from Lawler vs. Dream Machine. Machine says something before the match but I couldn’t understand a word of it. There are stipulations to this but Machine stops the announcement to yell some more. Ok so it’s a handicap match with Bobby Eaton/Jimmy Hart vs. Tony Charles. So Lawler and Machine aren’t in the match but are seconds? This is hard to follow.

If Tony loses he gets his hair cut. If he wins, Eaton and Hart are gone. Lawler and Dream Machine get into it on the floor and there’s no match. Little trivia note for you here: Eaton has brown hair here. Scratch that: the match happens but we don’t get to see it. This is getting annoying.

Angel/Tony Russo vs. Carl Fergie/Tommy Russo

This is 2/3 falls again. Russo and Tommy start things off. Very slow to start as it’s off to Fergie. I think he and Gilbert are the faces here. They work over Russo’s arm and it’s back to Gilbert. Russo brings in Angel for all of 8 seconds and it’s back to Russo. We’re three minutes into this and nothing of note has happened. Cross body gets two for Gilbert. Fergie hits an elbow to the face and drops another one for the first fall on Russo.

Apparently we’re going to get the rest of the match later. For now though, OFF TO TUPELO!!! Ok so this one needs some backstory. We have Bill Dundee and Lawler teaming up against Larry Latham (Moondog Spot) and Wayne Ferris (Honky Tonk Man), collectively known as the Blonde Bombers. The Bombers cheated like CRAZY to win the tag titles. The show looked like it was ending but as they faded to black you heard Russell saying stay with this because there’s a big brawl going on. The brawl went down to the concession stand, and this is what followed.

The Blondes are all busted open and they beat on each other with EVERYTHING. Mustard goes flying and they’re filming from the stairs. This is totally serious stuff in case that wasn’t clear. Everyone is bleeding. Lawler destroys Ferris while Dundee is stomped on. Jerry Jarrett comes in and finally gets Dundee away for a second. Also this isn’t one of those fake WCW concession stands. This is the real concession stand where the fans are buying food. The Blondes run so Lawler and Dundee chase them but the Blondes come back and destroy Jarrett, stripping his clothes off. They’re FINALLY pulled off to end this.

I won’t go into details on the whole history of this (if you’re interested in why this was booked and why Jerry Jarrett is one of the smartest men ever in wrestling, look up Jim Cornette’s commentary called “The Slippery Slope of Hardcore Wrestling.” It’s incredibly interesting and well worth the read, as is almost anything Cornette writes) but the main idea is that this is pretty much the birth of modern hardcore wrestling.

The key difference though: it was believable. This wasn’t something that you saw every day (first time ever for the most part) and EVERYONE talked about it. It saved the territory and worked because it was treated as a huge deal. This is something you’ll still hear about from time to time and you’ll occasionally see tributes to it even today. This is incredibly historic stuff and possibly the most famous moment in southern wrestling.

We get a clip of the rematch (one of many) with the crowd being noticeably larger. That’s the idea and it worked like a miracle.

House show plugs.

Oh yeah we have to go back and finish that tag match. Fergie and Russo start us off but it’s off to the monster named Angel very quickly. Fergie fights off an abdominal claw and it’s Gilbert’s turn to get beaten down. Back to Russo as the beating continues. Russo (who looks like Mario from the Super Mario Brothers Super Show, and yes I know who played him) chokes away but it’s back to Angel. There’s the hot tag to Fergie who misses an elbow and gets pinned by Angel to tie it up.

Before the third fall, here are MORE Lawler highlights, this time of him getting beaten up by Harley Race and beating up Nick Bockwinkel. We see him losing to Jack Brisco after a one hour fight. Also some of the matches with Jackie Fargo (the guy that made Lawler), possibly the one where he won the name King.

The third fall is finally joined in progress with Angel pounding on Gilbert. Everything breaks down for a bit as Gilbert hooks Angel in an abdominal stretch….and the time limit runs out.

Rating: D. This was about as different of a match as you’ll ever find. I really don’t get the point in having it all cut up like this. It took almost 40 minutes to get through a ten minute match because of all the Lawler stuff. The problem otherwise was that this was a really boring match with nothing interesting to it at all, which is the problem with most of the matches on these shows.

Dream Machine isn’t worried about Lawler.

Russell wraps things up.

Overall Rating: C+. Given that Lawler is coming back, I think I have to keep watching this. The Tupelo Brawl scene is more than enough to bring me back, even though it’s part of a clip show. Still though, fun show and the Brawl footage is great. The wrestling here was certainly different, but it wasn’t all that great. Lawler coming back will completely change the show though so I’ll keep watching this for now.

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall

CWA Championship Wrestling
Date: December 27, 1980
Location: WMC-TV Studios, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Lance Russell, Dave Brown

This is back in Memphis but in the early days. The company was founded in 1977 so it hasn’t been around a terribly long time here. I have no idea what to expect from this but I’m sure Jerry Lawler will be involved somewhere. This is the first of about seven shows I have from here so let’s get to it.

The announcers (whatever their names are) tell us about the matches. One of them is Lance Russell.

Angel vs. David Price

Angel is managed by Jimmy Hart. He’s a bald guy who looks like George Steele but with smoother skin and bigger muscles. The arena is tiny, maybe holding 200 people. Angle pounds him down and you can hear Hart coaching him in the days before the Megaphone. Angle almost kicks him to the floor but Price hooks the rope with his feet. Price manages to roll him over and we get some mat work. I didn’t expect that.

Price is thrown to the floor but is quickly back in. Angel really likes to hit him in the back with forearms. Even Jimmy is saying this is a workout for him. Hart also doesn’t have glasses. Back to the apron for more stomping. Angel lets go of some covers and Price grabs a worthless hammerlock. Angel finally ends this with a Claw.

Rating: D. Boring match here as Angel liked pounding him on the back way too much. I’ve never heard of him but he was big, mean and bald headed so you really don’t need much else, especially not back in the old days. The announcers sounded really bored with this and rightfully so.

Gypsy Joe/David Oswald vs. Bill Dundee/Tommy Rich

This is 2/3 falls. Rich and Joe start things off and Joe is taken to the mat quickly. Off to Dundee and then Oswald. Back to Rich who would be NWA Champion in about tour months. A dropkick by Rich gets two. Off to a chinlock for a few seconds and it’s back to Dundee pounding on Joe. Dundee is really popular here, even drawing a chant from the small crowd. Oswald gets in a cheap shot and Joe takes over.

Dundee gets in a dropkick for two as David saves. Off to Oswald who gets two on a backdrop. Joe comes in but walks into a sunset flip for the first fall. After a break we get a promo from Rich and Dundee who are tag team champions and have a loser leaves town match coming up. Tommy also gets Jimmy Valiant in a street fight on the same show. He says he can get just as crazy as Valiant can and it’ll be a late Christmas present for him. That was a good promo.

Dundee pounds on Joe some more and a dropkick gets two. Everything breaks down for a few seconds and Joe takes over with a chinlock. Back to Oswald who sounds like a duck. Oswals breaks up a tag and brings in Joe for a chinlock. We get into a long Ricky Morton sequence years before anyone knew who Ricky Morton was. Joe chokes Dundee and Oswald gets two off a slam.

Joe knocks Dundee down again and it’s off to a nerve hold. Everything breaks down and Rich still can’t get the tag. This match is going a lot longer than I was expecting it to do. Out of NOWHERE Dundee grabs a small package on Joe. Rich comes in to take out Oswald again and Dundee gets the second pin of the match.

Rating: C-. It’s not a bad match but I really don’t get why this needed to be two straight falls. Dundee took a good beating here and the match was pretty fun. This was a lot like a tag team formula match but they didn’t have the hot tag aspect to it yet. That hurts things but it’s 1980 to be fair.

Tony Charles vs. Pat Hutchinson

I have no idea who either of these guys are, nor who is who. These are junior heavyweights I think. Hutchinson is in blue. Got it. They go to the mat where Charles controls with headlocks and arm holds. We cut to a Dundee and Rich talking about a charity drive or something. The match is still going on and the drive is for Tony Charles apparently. Charles hooks a Boston Crab but doesn’t turn it over. He hits a backbreaker and then a full Crab but Hutchinson makes the rope. Hutchinson tries to get into an amateur match which fails as well. Charles hits a bad dropkick for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not a very entertaining match and they spent most of the time talking about the charity drive. I still don’t know why Charles needs the money or anything but I think it’s supposed to be something serious. Nothing to see here and the announcers talk about the match like it was something really interesting.

Dream Machine vs. Carl Fergie

This is from some other show, I believe in the Mid-South Coliseum. Machine is a big masked heel. Hart is the manager and pokes Fergie in the ribs with what appeared to be a cane. Machine takes him down and wins with a standard armbar. Total squash which allegedly went 5:00 so there much have been a lot of clipping.

Dream Machine won’t let go post match. A few guys come in for the save (including Rick Morton and Koko Ware) but it’s back to the arm when they’re dispatched. Lawler finally comes in and really cleans house.

Dream Machine (with a THICK southern/country accent) runs down Lawler and all of the faces here. Imagine Dusty Rhodes talking fast with a high pitched voice. Jimmy calls out Lawler and counts to ten. Lawler doesn’t answer it and Russell says that everyone knows he’s not here this week.

More house show stuff.

Koko Ware/Tom Meley vs. Tojo Yamamoto/Jimmy Valiant

This is actually an iron man tag match as they say it’s whoever has the most falls when we’re out of TV time wins. Koko is TV Champion at this point and starts with Valiant. Valiant loudly complains of hair pulling then pulls Koko’s hair to pull over. That’s heel psychology for you. Koko and Tojo are both really short. The heels double team Koko a lot and chop him even more.

A slam gets two for Valiant. Tojo tags out and literally is on the apron for 2 seconds before coming back in to chop Koko down for the first fall. We take a break and come back with Koko cleaning house to start the second fall. Finally off to Meley who charges at Valiant which goes badly for him. Elbow drop by Valiant makes it 2-0. Apparently that’s it.

Rating: D. This was a squash. Meley was nothing of note at all and got destroyed the whole time. I have no idea what the point was in having Koko getting beaten down that much and then lose clean but whatever. Tojo would become a big top heel in this company for years and would pop up in the late 80s in WCCW as well.

Valiant runs his mouth about Tommy Rich.

Overall Rating: D. This is a show I really don’t see myself watching much more. I’ll watch one more episode of it and if it’s not a lot better, I’m done. This style just isn’t for me and while I get that it was insanely popular for a long time, that doesn’t mean it works well over thirty years later. Not awful, but really not something I want to spend 9 hours watching all that I have of.

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall

USWA Wrestling Challenge
Date: August 25, 1989
Location: Sportatorium, Dallas Texas
Commentator: Marc Lowrance, Frank Dusek

I’m missing the August 18 episode so don’t bother looking for it. From what I can tell though there was a big tag match with Eric Embry and Chris Adams beating up some bad guys. I liked what I saw last time so maybe this is going to be good as well. If this is what I think it is, it’s not Mick Foley’s finest hour. Let’s get to it.

We open with clips from the tag match I mentioned and like last week we have to wait to find out the winner.

Akbar introduces the newest member of Devastation Inc: Taurus Bulba, who was with them two weeks ago.

Jimmy Jack Funk vs. Scott Braddock

The referee is in a traditional outfit today instead of the blue shirt he was in last week. Funk slams Braddock to start and dropkicks him to the floor. We hear about Chris Adams getting screwed by Tojo Yamamoto or something like that and he has to stay wherever Tojo is. Funk hits a move like an Angle Slam and grabs the arm. Funk keeps control of the arm Eric Embry has won the Texas Heavyweight Title. Short Arm Scissor goes onto Braddock. He tries a rollup with tights but the referee slaps him in the head instead of brawling.

This has been ALL Funk so far. Funk stays on the arm as we talk about Akbar vs. Embry. Basically Akbar is putting all of his guys against Embry in Loser Leaves Town matches with the theory that he has to lose sometime. Braddock kind of hot shots Funk to counter a Thesz Press. Backbreaker gets two. Braddock hammers away and hooks a chinlock. A double clothesline puts both guys down.

They get up at the same time and Funk kicks him in the ribs to take over. There’s an atomic drop and Funk pounds away on the head of Braddock. Braddock knocks him to the floor and sets for a superplex to bring Funk back in. Funk manages to slingshot over his back and rolls him up for the surprise pin.

Rating: C+. Not too bad here and it was a lot more energetic than I was expecting it to be. Funk is a guy I’ve seen some of and usually he’s awful in WWF. Here though he’s not bad. He’s not a ring general or anything like that, but he’s certainly pretty ok with a great example of that right here. This was a nice surprise.

Percy Pringle talks about taking down the World Class banner and having the board behind them now. He calls Akbar a raghead. It was a different time.

We go to a segment from a few days ago. Tojo and P.Y. Chu-Hi (the guy Embry beat in the cage) were mad about Chu-Hi losing a match in 9 seconds to Embry. They went after Chris Adams’ wife and abused her. Whatever they did is covered by a graphic that says censored. Adams finally came out for the save. Adams has said not to suspend the Japanese guys because he’s going to do something about it himself. His wife’s name is Toni Adams in case that name comes up later.

Eric Embry vs. Cactus Jack Manson

This is loser leaves town. Embry wins in 12 seconds with a backslide. Somehow that’s not his fastest match this week. Foley would head off to WCW after this.

Devastation Inc leaves Jack alone in the ring.

Gary Young talks about the Devastation Inc trainees. They’re with him here but their names aren’t important enough to mention.

Jerry Lawler, the Unified World Heavyweight Champion, says that while there are other people that call themselves World Champion, he’s the real one. He even mentions the companies by name and says that Flair and Hogan are only company champions because they only fight guys in their own companies. Lawler however is champion in multiple companies so he’s the true champion. Ok then.

Video on Embry, mainly of him getting destroyed. Then he got awesome and won a cage match.

Gary Young/Al Perez vs. Matt Borne/Billy Joe Travis

Borne and Perez are starting and Borne takes him down pretty easily. They switch off as Akbar runs his mouth some more. Travis works on the arm which is a very common move in this company. They trade punches and Perez takes over. Young comes in and has pink hair. More arm work takes him down and Borne comes in. We go to a break with the arm work continuing.

Back with guess what: more arm work. Things speed up and Borne actually does something different in the form of a powerslam. Young tries to tag Travis and we almost lose a cameraman. Borne and Travis cheat but they’re popular so it’s all ok right? Perez pulls the top rope down to send Travis to the outside.

He gets thrown back in so Perez throws him back outside again. Everything breaks down and Young drops a knee for two on Travis. Back to Perez and it breaks down again. Akbar hits Young with a chair by mistake but since there’s no ref there’s no count. A brass knucks shot puts Travis down and Young gets the easy pin.

Rating: C-. Pretty dull match with the arm work going on way too long. That seems to be a theme here in tag matches and I’m not wild on it. The brawling was fun and it’s kind of refreshing to see a heel win a match, especially a main event. Not a terrible match or anything like that, but it was pretty forgettable.

The decision is reversed by the matchmaker whose name sounded like Max Andrews.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was much more to the point and you can see the angles that are going to dominate things coming into play pretty clearly here. The next week’s show will have Chun-Hi vs. Adams in a grudge match so that should be interesting. It’s also the last show I have before we jump forward to December. Better show this week because it was much more on point.

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall

USWA Championship Wrestling
Date: February 13, 1993
Location: USWA Television Studios, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Dave Brown, Cory Macklin

So I found almost 30 territorial style shows today, so expect a lot of stuff like this: local TV shows that probably have some big names in their roots. This is the USWA, which had been a merger of the CWA (Memphis) and WCCW (Dallas) in an attempt to fight the WWF. However, WCCW pulled out so this is just the Memphis territory of the day. If my memory is right, there’s also a talent exchange with WWF at the time so you may see some familiar faces. Jerry Lawler is more or less divine here, so expect a lot of him. Other than that I have no idea what to expect as I know next to nothing about the USWA. Let’s get to it.

The commentators welcome us to the show and run down the card. There’s some guy named the Rock and Roll Phantom that gets to get beaten up by Lawler. Also Jeff Jarrett (big pop) against Brian Christopher and the Harris Brothers vs. the Gilberts. Lex Luger will be here too. He’s the Narcissist at this point and is part of the talent exchange.

Here’s Brian Christopher who has two belts. Based on what I could find he was Southern Heavyweight Champion (midcard title) at the time so I have no idea what the other belt is. He says that because he’s a double champion, he’s important. Since he’s important he gets to meet other important people, and this week he met Lex Luger. DANG Christopher looks just like his daddy in the face.

He says he’s been hanging out with the WWF Superstars because they’re the best in the business. He has a highlight reel of Luger’s work which is just Luger’s debut in the WWF where Heenan sounded like he wanted Luger to make sweet love to him. At the end of the tape, Christopher says that Luger is going to be here later but first we need a little etiquette lesson. When Lex gets here, you all better cheer him.

With that he brings out the Narcissist. Oh wait it’s Narcissus. Close enough. Christopher talks about how there’s a guy around here named the King who has been making fun of the WWF. That was the huge story at this time: an interpromotional feud between the companies with Vince (acknowledged as the WWF owner on USWA TV) sending his guys down to fight the Memphis guys. He also talks about Jeff Jarrett barking about the WWF a lot because he’s scared of the WWF and Lex in particular.

Lex says that he’s here to give the USWA a peak at what God created when he created the greatest physique ever. I don’t think he imagined a fanny pack with it. The businessmen want Lex to have some tune-up wins before he goes to Wrestlemania in Las Vegas. Those guys also warned him to avoid the USWA because there are some guys there that are pretty good. That made Lex come here because he wants to prove he’s the best. He’s supposed to be a heel right? There will be one or two opponents he’ll take on here before Mania. Unfortunately this is the only show I have from this era so I don’t know who he picked.

Video on Brian Christopher. Or is this his entrance? It’s set to an Elvis (I think) song. Well the Memphis theme is really setting in.

Brian Christopher vs. Jeff Jarrett

Luger and two other guys that I don’t recognize are here with Christopher. Brian says there’s no need for Lex to be here for this one but then he changes his mind. Ok then. There are no apron curtains. That’s not something I’ve seen outside of a tiny indy company. Lex sits in on commentary for this. There can’t be more than 150 people at this. Ever heard me say someone is stalling like a man from Memphis? Here’s a good example of something like that.

First contact: 63 seconds in. Christopher keeps shouting to Lex how awesome he is but in a sucking up way, not an evil way. Second contact: 100 seconds in. We’re over two minutes in and we’ve had two tieups and that’s it. Ok from what I can find, Christopher is also the Texas Champion. Jeff finally has enough and pops Brian in the face with a right hand. We finally get going as Brian hits a clothesline and stomps a bit. To be fair, Memphis was far more based on egging on the crowd than the in ring action.

A backbreaker gets two for Christopher. He misses an elbow though and Jeff grabs a rollup for two. How weird is it that these two would reach their biggest successes as totally different characters? Christopher as a dancing idiot and Jarrett as a self-obsessed heel. One of the guys that came out with Christopher grabs Jeff’s leg but he manages a DDT to Christopher anyway. Not that it matters as the other guy comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. These matches are hard to rate as there isn’t much action in them, but like I said there isn’t supposed to be. These were two fairly big names and two acts that were over as a face and a heel, which is really all you can ask for. At the same time though, there’s barely any wrestling and it was all set up for the ending, which is ok, but it’s still nothing to see.

Jerry Lawler comes out for the post match save. Christopher suggests a tag match with himself/Lex vs. Lawler/Jarrett. Lex declines.

After a break, we have ANOTHER Brian Christopher interview. He says he can be the next Unified World Champion. Christopher says that Lawler is getting old and is going to have to retire soon. When that happens, he’ll be the new king. He never would win that title. Lawler only won it 28 times. That’s mild for him. He won the Southern Heavyweight Title 52 times.

We run down the card for Monday’s big show in the Mid-South Coliseum. There’s a new team there called PG-13 who I’m sure some of you have heard of.

We recap Lawler vs. Christopher which is the main event of that show on Monday. Christopher ran his mouth about how Lawler couldn’t beat him but he never could get a title match. Here’s another video of the same thing happening but Doink the Clown is involved here for no apparent reason. Doink put water on the floor or something so Lawler slips and Christopher beats him up.

Here’s Lawler in the arena who talks about Christopher, saying that Christopher wants to hang out with Lex Luger. Brian runs his mouth about Lawler but that’s all he’s ever done. This time it’s put up or shut up because it’s going to be one on one. Lawler isn’t ready to pass the torch yet. This is going to be the whipping that Christopher needs and all that jazz. This is a wrestling show right?

You would think that would be the segue to Lawler’s match right? Well you would be wrong.

PG-13 says there’s no competition for them here. Everyone else is the Atari and they’re the Super Nintendo. Ok give them a point for a funny line. There’s a music video with them rapping too.

Rock N Roll Phantom vs. Jerry Lawler

The Phantom is Ron Bass’ (remember him? You probably shouldn’t) brother in a mask. He’s rather fat and is from Louisiana. Luger is out for commentary again. The Phantom takes over to start but Lawler gets going and the same guys that came out with Christopher earlier are here with the Phantom. They come in for a DQ at about a minute in. Jarrett and Christopher come out for a huge beatdown. Christopher gets on the mic (fourth or fifth time tonight) and says if Lawler wants to fight him tonight, get Jarrett out of the ring. Christopher tries to run anyway but Lawler catches him and beats him up.

The announcer that hasn’t talked much runs down the upcoming house show schedule.

Jeff Jarrett is here to talk about the Rock N Roll Phantom. We get a clip of some fat guy singing with the Phantom as the Phantom plays guitar. Then Jarrett came out and broke it up and I think they’re going to have a match. One of the two guys that were with Christopher (one is named Mike Samples so that might help things in the future) interferes and Jarrett gets beaten down. Jeff fights all four of them (singer too) off and the match was thrown out.

Back in real time, Jarrett says a lot has been going on and then the Phantom jumped in on top of it. It’s about respect you see.

As he leaves here’s Doug Gilbert but his brother/partner Eddie Gilbert isn’t here. Doug wants to be known as the King of Rock and Roll from now on. It’s Eddie’s fault that they’re not the tag champions at this point because he’s irresponsible. That’s not acceptable for the King of Rock so the next time Eddie is late for something, it’ll be a beating for him. Here’s Eddie who tries to talk sense but Doug cuts him off. Eddie said he wasn’t here because his brother didn’t pick him up at the airport. He offers to take this to the back and talk it out but Doug jumps him and beats him down.

The Harris Brothers are here with Mike Samples (WHO IS THIS GUY???). Samples says his hair is on the line on Monday but it’s really isn’t because the Bruise Brothers (Harrises) wouldn’t let that happen.

J.R. Alzado/Sam Norris vs. Bruise Brothers

I don’t see this lasting long. The announcers aren’t sure who the jobbers are until the names pop up on screen. Total dominance with the Brothers winning in about a minute.

On Monday, the Gilberts will fight instead of having a tag match.

The card for Monday is run down again.

Christopher runs out to say that Lex is going to fight someone next week but the show gets cut off before he could do it.

Overall Rating: D-. If you’re a diehard Brian Christopher fan, RUN, I say RUN, out and find a copy of this show. Or stay at home because it might be more convenient but you get the idea. I don’t ever recall seeing a show that was so dedicated to a single thing more than this one. This show is about an hour long (as in an hour of show, not 45 minutes counting commercials) and about 80% is about Christopher and/or Lawler. There’s about 6 minutes of wrestling in it and none of it is any good. It’s not completely awful, but the Lawler/Lawler’s kid stuff drove me crazy and had me wanting the show to end. Bad sign.

Remember to like me on Facebook at:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/kbwrestlingreviewscom/117930294974885?sk=wall

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 25, 2011
Location: Hampton Coliseum, Hampton, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the first week without Vince McMahon at the helm and the first day of the HHH run WWE. This should be a rather change heavy show in theory but it’s possible that said changes will be slower and more subtle. Also tonight is The Miz vs. Rey Mysterio for the vacant WWE Championship in the tournament final. It’ll certainly be eventful. Let’s get to it.

We immediately open the show with the WWE Championship match! Not a bad way to get going.

WWE Championship Tournament Final: Rey Mysterio vs. The Miz

Most of the roster is watching in the back. Big match intros occur as they should. Feeling out process to start and Rey takes over with some speed. Miz counters a rana to launch Rey into the top turnbuckle to change momentum. It’s probably a good thing that they waited a week to let them rest up. Corner clothesline gets two for Miz. Knee to the ribs gets the same.

Miz sends him to the floor and adds a baseball slide to keep Rey down. The fans are totally behind Rey here as is probably expected. With Rey on the apron facing down Miz misses a kick but gets sent into the steps shoulder first. Both guys are down as we take a break. Back with Miz holding a chinlock and the third anti-politics line from the announcers. Miz takes him to the corner but Rey fights him off and goes up.

Seated senton hits and Rey speeds things up. Springboard spinning cross body gets two. Miz drills him in the ribs but a sunset flip doesn’t work. Rey can’t kick him in the head with that swinging kick and Miz grabs a DDT for two. A big boot gets the same. It’s been about 80-90% Miz in this match. Victory roll gets two for the masked man. A dropkick to the knee looks to set up the 619 but Miz ducks.

Miz tries a powerbomb near the ropes but Rey counters into another rana attempt. That doesn’t work as Miz hits a pretty sweet slingshot sitout powerbomb for a close two. Miz loads up the Finale but Rey climbs up onto the corner and elbows his way out of it. He gets caught in the Tree of Woe though and Miz drives in some knees. A charging knee hits the buckle though and Rey hits a rana to set up the 619. Top rope splash gives Rey the title clean at 13:20.

Rating: B-. Not bad here but it wasn’t quite epic or anything. This felt like any TV main event. It’s a good match but Rey just hit his finishers and won the title. I did like the selling of the knee from last week which is a very nice touch. Either way, good stuff here and fine for a TV title match.

Post match Rey gets kneed in the back and HERE’S ALBERTO TO CASH IN! Rey dives on him though and Alberto picks up his case and runs. That wasn’t a cash-in he says due to the bell never ringing. That’s true so it makes sense.

HHH will give a State of the WWE Address tonight.

The roster congratulates Rey in the back and he gets champagne poured on him. Cena, who looks like a foot taller than Rey, shakes his hand and says good job. Rey says it was worth it and that he’s going home to his family with the gold.

We get a shortened version of HHH and Vince last night.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Evan Bourne

Dolph has a new somewhat slower rock version of his theme. Pretty sure this is non-title. Yeah it’s non-title. Bourne gets a shot to the head to send Dolph to the floor for a bit. Back in the ring Dolph avoids an enziguri and hits a Fameasser for two. Dropkick gets the same and we’re off to a chinlock. Splash misses in the corner and here comes Bourne. Jerry makes what is I believe the fourth political/Obama reference of the night. Shooting Star misses and there’s the Zig Zag. No cover though as he puts on the sleeper and we’re done at 3:27.

Rating: C. This was fine. This is also what Ziggler needs: wins over guys that he should be able to beat where he has to work a bit to get them. Not every match with a midcard champion has to result in an upset. You get an ok match out of it and Ziggler looks a bit more credible. Nothing to complain about there.

Kofi vs. Alberto tonight.

The Keith Stone beer guy hits on the Bellas and uses a marker to tell them apart. The other isn’t happy and now there’s a full tattoo on his arm.

Maryse/Melina vs. Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres

At least they all look good. Eve and Maryse start and Eve hits a downward spiral and then dances before trying a standing moonsault for two. Maryse gives her a Stinkface and Kelly comes in. Everything breaks down and Melina misses a charge, allowing the K2 to end it at 2:51. Thank goodness I don’t have to rate it. Match was AWFUL but the girls looked good.

R-Truth is talking to HHH and we can’t hear what’s being said. The Address is next and there’s a major return promised.

Cee Lo Green will be performing at Summerslam. Because all the other concerts at wrestling events have gone so well you know?

Here’s HHH and it’s time for the State of the WWE Address. This place is awesome and let’s thank Vince for it. However he’s not here to talk about the past but rather the futuer. Tonight there’s a new WWE Champion and his name is Rey Mysterio. However, tonight there’s going to be ANOTHER WWE Championship match tonight. Rey is going to defend against…..John Cena. Oh dear.

Also there has been someone who the WWE Universe has been asking about all week. Cue CM Punk’s chant. Someone is coming back to Raw tonight…..and it’s not Punk. Cue JR of all people who is back on Raw. Cole throws down his headset and stands on the announce table as JR is next to King. Cole talks to HHH and says JR is the walking dead, not the future. He’s done everything the company has asked for but the one thing he won’t do is sit there with this hayseed. He makes fun of JR and asks why he’s here. JR is fat and his restaurants failed don’t you know.

HHH asks if Cole is done. His first inclination was to fire Cole and bring JR back. The problem is that Cole has a huge severance package so it’s not worth it to fire him. However, if Cole wants to leave that’s cool but he’ll be in breach of contract and will forfeit all future earnings. Cole has the rest of the night off and he has until Friday to decide. If he’s on Smackdown, he’ll keep his job but if he’s not there then good luck in your future endeavors. Cole sits down and says he doesn’t quit. HHH says not so fast because you have a match tonight.

Cole is told he’s next and that his gear is in the back. Here’s R-Truth who says it’s out with the old and in with the new. He says HHH has been part of the conspiracy since Day One and now HHH is the man. Little Jimmy cost him his match at Capitol Punishment and spiders and heights cost him MITB. Truth wants to know what the boss is going to do about the conspiracy. HHH wants to know who Truth is talking to: him, or the guys next to Truth.

Truth keeps talking to people that aren’t there and HHH does the same. Now the invisible people are about to fight. Truth calls HHH crazy and the crowd gets a good laugh out of it. Truth says HHH is the Game but he’s not playing. Truth drops the mic and leaves. HHH: “Hey all of you stop!” HHH says he re-signed another guy and he wanted a piece of Truth. Heeeeeeere’s Jomo, for some reason not in a shirt. Wait was Morrison fired or something? They fight on the ramp and Morrison takes over, hitting Starship Pain to stand tall.

Here’s Michael Cole in HHH attire, complete with King of Kings as his music and a bottle of water. Oh my oh my. He eve does the water spritz. And his opponent is…..

Michael Cole vs. Zack Ryder

Oh my again. JR actually calls Ryder an internet sensation. Rough Ryder and we’re done in 28 seconds.

Kofi Kingston vs. Alberto Del Rio

This is a rematch from the tournament last week where Kofi got the clean upset win. Ricardo is back now. Alberto is in white not. He takes Kofi down almost immediately and gets a dropkick to the back of the head for no count. Kofi tries to speed things up and gets a cruficix into a sunset flip position for two. Alberto is sent to the floor and runs as Kofi teases a dive. Kofi is all fired up as we take a break.

Back with Alberto working on the arm. We get a clip from the break of Alberto hitting the running enziguri to Kofi while he was on the top, injuring the arm. Kofi starts his comeback and hits some kicks and a jumping clothesline to set up the Boom Drop which hits. Trouble in Paradise misses and there’s the Codebreaker to the arm for two. Pendulum kick by Kofi sets up a victory roll for a VERY close two as Alberto grabs the rope. I thought that was it. Del Rio heads to the floor but catches Kofi with a guillotine over the top. Cross armbreaker goes on and we’re done at 7:18.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent little match here with Del Rio looking dominant again. Last week was a fine example of how you can lose and not lose your heat. Alberto looks fine here and him beating Kofi here is a nice rebound win for him because he did it clean. I hope that’s a sign of HHH’s time on Raw because sometimes (not always) clean wins are far more helpful than cheating ones.

HHH will be on Smackdown. Awesome.

Miz wants to know why Cena has a title match tonight. He says Cena got all of us into this situation in the first place. Miz thinks things have gone from bad to worse with Cena around now and that Cena should have been fired last week. The face of the WWE has no face. Oh and Miz will be on George Lopez on Wednesday. HHH has made mistakes and Miz isn’t thrilled with them.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Rey Mysterio

There’s a bigger border on the belt now. Cena comes out post break. There’s a Divas Battle Royal next week on Raw. Rey gets a kick to the leg to start and there’s a second one. They’re kind of feeling each other out to start. There are three more of them but Cena runs Rey over with a shoulder block for two. Rey gets a sunset flip kind of move for two and grabs a headlock.

Cena gets a belly to back to escape and gets two at the same time. Rey goes for the knee again but Cena dodges. He misses a charge though and hits the buckle chest first, falling to the floor. The dueling chants begin and Rey hits a springboard flip dive to the floor. Rey speeds things up but gets his head taken off by a clothesline. Back in and Cena gets a waistlock but Rey gets up and hits a DDT for two.

STF doesn’t work as Rey gets to the ropes. 619 is caught and Cena tosses him onto his shoulder for that sitout powerslam for two. Here comes Cena’s ending sequence but Rey fires off a dropkick to block a shoulder. Nice counter and it’s remarkable how few people have blocked that before. Rey tries to speed it up but his spinning cross body is caught in an FU attempt which is also reversed.

Both guys are down and Rey drop toeholds him into the buckle. Seated Senton hits but Cena tries to roll through into the STF. Rey counters into an STF of his own. Cena gets up on one leg into an AA position but the leg gives out and Cena collapses, right into 619 position. It hits this time and Rey goes up top for the splash but it eats knees. Rey tries a rana out of the corner but Cena shoves him off in something resembling a powerbomb.

Cena loads up the top rope Fameasser but it turns into a leg drop on a standing Rey which only gets two. The fans are WAY into this too and I can’t blame them as it’s been a solid match. Cena sets the AA but Rey elbows out of it. Another 619 is set up but Cena catches him in the AA and is champion again at 12:47. I can live with this I think.

Rating: B+. Solid stuff here as Cena got to show off his power and how effective it could be. I’m not sure what more they could do given the amount of time they had. Rey’s STF was a cool addition which we haven’t seen before on Cena, or at least not that I can remember. Good stuff here as both guys usually bring it in big matches.

Cena helps Rey up and celebrates with the title but some music starts up.  It’s a song called Cult of Personality……..PUNK IS BACK!  Cena holds up his title.  Punk holds up his title.  They stare it down as the show ends with Cena leaving.

Overall Rating: A+. This was a pretty excellent episode of Raw. We had history making stuff, a new champion, a pair of returns, no truly bad matches (the Divas make up for their weak wrestling) and a good HHH segment. I like where things are going here and things worked well here. This was one of the better Raws in awhile and I liked it quite a bit.

Results

Rey Mysterio b. The Miz – Top rope splash

Dolph Ziggler b. Evan Bourne – Sleeper

Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres b. Melina/Maryse – K2 to Melina

Zack Ryder b. Michael Cole – Rough Ryder

Alberto Del Rio b. Kofi Kingston – Cross Armbreaker

John Cena b. Rey Mysterio – Attitude Adjustment

Over the Limit 2011
Date: May 22, 2011
Location: KeyArena, Seattle, Washington
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Booker T, Josh Matthews, Michael Cole

It’s Over the Limit again which was a totally worthless show last year which is about what I’m expecting this year.  The main event is Miz vs. Cena in an I Quit match while on the other side you have Christian vs. Orton in their rematch.  The first match was good so this should be as well with more time and some experience to work with.  All in all though it looks weak but I’ve been wrong before.  Let’s get to it.

There’s a graphic saying in memory of Randy Savage to open us up.  Certainly better than nothing.

The opening video is about what the human body is capable of when it’s pushed over the limit.  Not bad but a bit basic.  Then again there isn’t much you can do with a theme like Over the Limit.

Rey Mysterio vs. R-Truth

Truth just has the one line to start his lack of music now.  The Truth is that it’s all about parking lots.  He got here today and didn’t have a parking spot so he had to park with the rest of the fans in the rain.  It’s a conspiracy and while he’s danced and pranced for all of the Little Jimmys, it’s gotten him nowhere.  He doesn’t play games like Rey Mysterio who wears that toy mask.  He’s taking Rey’s spot and that’s the Truth.

There are cars on the stage like last year.  One is a Mustang and I can’t tell on the other one.  Lawler points out how stupid it is to be worried about a parking space when you have a match on PPV.  Leave it to the veterans to make sense.  Booker says Truth should have changed his attitude a long time ago.  Is Booker a subtle heel commentator and I’m just missing it?

Rey makes Truth madder and manages to send him to the floor where a hurricanrana from the apron takes him down.  Truth, in his purple shoes, takes over by hammering Rey in the corner.  That gets him nowhere as Rey outmoves him of course.  Cole quotes a Kid Rock song from 2002 by saying it ain’t bragging if you do it and you back it up as Rey is sent to the floor.

Truth keeps stopping Rey when he tries to get something going, including hitting a sitout gordbuster for two.  Lawler seems like he has a cold and Cole makes fun of him for it of course.  Rey makes a comeback and gets a middle rope bulldog for two.  As in Truth was on the middle rope which was a new twist on it.  Springboard cross body and a running kick both get two.

Top rope seated senton hits but Truth gets the spinning forearm which is more spin than forearm out of nowhere for a close two.  Axe kick misses so Rey tries a rollup which doesn’t connect.  The jumping reverse Stunner doesn’t hit so Rey kicks him to the floor.  Truth pulls him off the apron to crotch Rey on the ring skirt which is something that is hardly ever used.  A Downward Spiral ends this clean.  Nice to see Rey lose again.

Rating: C. Pretty dull match here but Truth winning is certainly the right move.  Raw needs more top heels and a crazy man like Truth is a good place to start.  Truth hopefully can now move past Rey and maybe on to a US Title run or a quick feud with Cena perhaps.  Still though, not much of a match but there were enough good spots to make it a good match.  Please though, get him a new finisher other than a Downward Spiral.

Miz says that people say he has no chance of winning tonight.  Those are the same people that said he was a joke or would be fired in three days or he’d cash in MITB and lose but he’s proven them all wrong, which he’ll do again tonight.  Very true actually.  Riley cuts off the catchphrase by saying he’s the new WWE Champion instead of Awesome.

Cole talks about rubbing raw fish on his feet.  “Lawler: You are really an idiot.”

We recap Jackson vs. Barrett.  Corre attacked Jackson because Jackson was starting to think about himself too much.  Jackson keeps trying to beat down Corre so Barrett challenged Jackson to a match for no apparent reason for Barrett’s IC Title.

Intercontinental Title: Ezekiel Jackson vs. Wade Barrett

Barrett comes out sans Corre which implies run in to me.  Jackson is freaky big.  Booker talks about Jackson winning his first title, even though this would be his second (ECW Title).  Idiots chant boring about 8 seconds after the bell rings.  Talk about being prejudiced.  Barrett hammers away to start.  It’s a good thing that people sell his punches a lot because he’s the bareknuckles champions or whatever right?

Jackson sends him to the floor and the chase is on.  Jackson catches a big boot attempt as they get back in and runs Barrett over.  Power vs. power here even thought Barrett isn’t much of a power guy.  Cole says the three others are some of the most boring broadcasters he’s ever heard.  Barrett claims a neck injury but is just pretending.  That’s a bad IC Champion!

He sends Big Zeke into the post shoulder first a few times and adds a big boot with Jackson’s head against the post.  Cole has a big surprise for the Lawler match later.  For the love of all things good and holy, let it end there.  Barrett gets a middle rope elbow for two which I hope isn’t your only Macho Man reference tonight.  Cole and Booker argue about sheep and wolves or whatever as Barrett locks on a chinlock.

Wasteland is blocked and Jackson can’t get anywhere as he walks into a kick to the ribs and a pumphandle slam.  Jackson snaps and starts his series of like four slams in a row which I think is kind of a cool idea.  It would hurt your back if you kept having it done to you.  The fans seem to like it too so why not?  Five slams sets up the Torture Rack and here’s Gabriel for the pretty obvious DQ.

Rating: C+. Call me crazy but I liked it.  Jackson with those slams was a surprisingly well received move.  The Torture Rack is a good finisher for him so at least they’re starting to book him right.  The ending is kind of cheap as it’s what we’ve seen for months now, but that’s about what you have to expect.  Somehow Barrett has the longest current title reign in the company.  That’s kind of surprising.

Corre beats down Jackson post match including a Boss Man Slam and a big boot, both from Wade.  No 450 though.

Mason Ryan finds Otunga and McGillicutty down in the back.  They say it was Show and Kane.  Punk says it means they can show how awesome they are.  He barely seems to care about the two guys down.  Punk says walk it off.

Sin Cara vs. Chavo Guerrero

The idea here is Chavo claims that he invented most of what Cara does, which isn’t true but it makes for a good storyline.  They’re in the weird lighting again here and Chavo has the shorts back.  Cara takes over with some speed stuff but Chavo stops him, in theory because he knows the moves better and knows how to counter them.

Out to the floor and Cara does his usually awesome stuff but back in the ring a limping Chavo hammers him down into the corner.  Cara hits a nice moonsault press for two.  The lighting thing is a bit annoying in a long match.  It looks like the light is sick or something.  It’s a standard ground game vs. high flying match which is similar to what Chavo owned the world at back in 2000 so this works fine.

We hit the floor again and Cara crushes him with a big dive.  Top rope rana sets up some kicks and a handspring elbow as he channels his inner Tajiri.  Top rope cross body gets two.  Cara keeps trying to speed it up and it’s only kind of working.  A springboard….head drag I guess sends Chavo down again.  I think it was supposed to be La Mistica (headscissors into an armbar) but it wound up looking awful and Cara pins him with it.  Horrible looking botch.

Rating: C. Pretty good match here as Chavo can keep up with Cara.  The ending brings it down a lot though and the lighting thing has to go because now it’s time for Cara to move up to the midcard.  He’s gotten some experience under his belt and it should be enough for him to have some matches with other midcard guys.  He’ll bring in the Mexican audience which is the point of signing him.  Decent enough match though.

More anti-bullying jazz.

Randy and Christian have a quick chat about getting to be champion which doesn’t go much of anywhere other than repeating talking points.

Alberto is here thankfully.  It’s a PPV with a car theme so how could he not be here?  He’s here to talk about immigration apparently as everyone is complaining about various things.  Ok never mind as he wants to talk about not being sad about being in a WWE Title match because his destiny can’t be stopped.  He’ll be champion some day.

Big Show’s music cuts him off and here come the tag champions.  Kane is disappointed that there wasn’t a rapture yesterday because he was looking forward to it.  Alberto bails before getting his head knocked off.

Tag Titles: CM Punk/Mason Ryan vs. Big Show/Kane

Kane vs. Ryan to start us off here and the fans chant Batista.  This crowd is getting on my nerves in a hurry.  Power vs. Power of course and here’s Show.  Ryan goes all Big Zeke on him, taking him down with a clothesline.  Off to Punk vs. Show.  The giants take turns beating down Punk, probably jealous of all the hair gel.  Ryan comes in to work on Kane as Punk has the word Macho on his tape.

Show stomps on the steps and it sounds like the building is falling down.  The bulldog out of the corner is blocked and Punk is almost shoved into the big punch.  Instead Punk dropkicks the knee and brings in Ryan who hits an old school Oklahoma Stampede.  Bearhug time and Ryan just throws Kane around which is ultra rare.  Kane grabs a suplex but Punk comes in to stop the tag.

Punk goes up top in a rare move for him.  Is that a theme for this match or something?  The elbow drop from the top misses and I can’t help but smile.  It’s enough to bring in Show who cleans house as he is known to do.  Double chokeslam to Ryan and we’re done.  Sometimes there’s no substitute for just picking someone up and drilling them like that.

Rating: C. For the elbow alone this isn’t a failure.  It’s very cool to see someone throw that out in a tribute to one of the best of all time and something told me it would be Punk.  Just seems like something he’d do.  Anyway, Show and Kane winning isn’t that surprising as it can play into the problems in Nexus a bit more.  This was fine for what it was.

Ad for Capitol Punishment featuring…..President Obama?  It’s one of those fake questions featuring real clips from a press conference.  At least it’s four weeks away.

Divas Title: Brie Bella vs. Kelly Kelly

Cole even says this will be boring.  This is about what you would expect: both girls do a few things, neither really are that good, both look good in tiny shorts, which is why they have their jobs I suppose.  LONG armbar by Brie wastes some time.  There’s Twin Magic, X-Factor, Nikki gets the pin.

Rating: F. Dang it why did this have to be long enough to grade?  The match was awful the whole way through as they have no business being on PPV.  Watching Nunzio as the referee and the girls looking good are the only high spots here.  Also, no sign of Kharma.  How in the world can you validate this being on PPV?  I give up.

Cole goes to get ready…..and the world title match is next?  Wow indeed.

We recap Christian vs. Orton.  Basic story here: Christian needs to prove his reign wasn’t a fluke and he needs to prove that he can beat Orton on full rest.  Somehow that takes long enough to heat up some grilled cheese to explain.

Smackdown World Title: Randy Orton vs. Christian

Big match intros fill in some time as we have almost an hour and a half left and three matches to go.  Booker talks about how awesome Orton is because of his lineage, even though his grandfather was a relative unknown and his dad was good but not great.  The crowd gets into it a bit and Booker goes into a LONG speech about Christian and hitting the button to make an engine go faster or something.

Anyway, Christian gets a middle rope dropkick for two as he’s controlled so far.  Orton does his apparently now signature toe touching thing on a leapfrog.  The crowd is FAR more into this than the rest of the show combined.  Off to a chinlock by Christian as Booker actually points something out: Christian doesn’t pick guys up that much.  Big old dropkick by Orton but he can’t get much of an advantage going.

Lawler is gone too if I didn’t mention that.  Orton hits a full on superplex for a close two.  Orton fires off those uppercuts with one of them being countered into a backslide for two.  Spinebuster gets two for the Canadian.  They slug it out and Christian goes up for a missile dropkick, only to get caught in a jackknife cover which he reverses into a sunset flip for two.  Christian takes him down again and a swan dive headbutt gets two.

The fans seem to be more behind Christian here, but then again most people don’t care about Orton until he hits the RKO.  Orton starts his stomp.  OH NO!  HE KICKED HIM IN THE FOOT!!!  IT’S UTTER DEVASTATION!!!!!  Kneedrop gets two but Christian gets a Killswitch attempt which is countered into an RKO attempt.  That gets countered into another Killswitch attempt but Orton pulls the legs out and gets a reverse Boston Crab (Billy Goat’s Curse for you Colt Cabana fans) which I’ve never seen in WWE.

Christian grabs the rope but it’s nice to see a new move being thrown out there like that.  He fakes Orton out in the corner and gets a VERY close two off a sunset flip out of the corner.  Important there because the fake out was the same move that Christian got caught in the RKO with in their first title match.  Nice bit of psychology there.

Into the corner again and Christian tries the pendulum kick but Randy grabs the feet and shifts to an elevated DDT for a close two.  Orton loads up the RKO but Christian shoves him off and stars shouting SPEAR.  Ok, enough with the Edge references.  Perhaps it was the SHOUTING THE NAME OF THE MOVE but Orton snaps him off with a powerslam for two.  With Christian down Orton sets for the Punt of all things but he can’t bring himself to do it.

He charges again but Christian pops up with a spear for a VERY close two.  Christian goes into one of his old school fits almost as this is a rather good match.  Christian sets for the Killswitch again but it gets countered as does the second attempt, the first into an RKO attempt and the second into an attempted belly to back suplex.  Christian flips out of it but as he goes for the Killswitch again, it’s RKO time and Orton survives this.

Rating: A-. Very good match here that topped their previous match with them adding the psychology and building on their previous match.  Orton showing respect to Christian like he did before on Smackdown is another nice touch as well as them adding in new stuff to make the match less predictable.  Well done match as Christian continues to impress.

They shake hands post match.

We recap Cole vs. Lawler so excuse me while I baste a turkey.

Ok I’m back now and what a shock it’s still going.  The idea is that Cole and Lawler hate each other and Cole has beaten him twice already.  Lawler has put up his Hall of Fame ring and if he loses he’ll induct Cole into the Hall of Fame.  Also the loser has to kiss the winner’s foot.  Cole also ticked off his muscle in Jack Swagger so he’s on his own here, at least in theory.

Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole

Remember that Cole has promised some kind of surprise all night.  Cole comes out in a suit and limping.  You can tell it’s officially an injury because he has a doctor’s note.  Or maybe he’s reading his lines.  Apparently it’s because of infected athlete’s foot.  If Cole’s foot goes into Lawler’s mouth Lawler might contract foot and mouth disease.  He gives the note to the referee and the referee rips it up.  RING THE BELL!

Lawler drills him into the corner and pounds away and there go Cole’s pants.  SOLID right hand and a dropkick send Cole to the floor.  Josh says vintage.  Cole manages to send him into the steps a few times and Cole takes the shoe off.  This ticks Jerry off and LAWLER THROWS HIM THROUGH THE COLE MINE!!!!!  Lawler celebrates the thing exploding which is a legit funny moment.  Middle rope punch brings the strap down and WE ARE DONE!  That made me smile.  No rating as it was total domination but still, awesome moment as Jerry destroyed him.

Jerry starts unzipping his boot but has an idea.  He waves someone out and here comes Eve.  She drills him with a moonsault as this is turning into exactly what it should have been.  Lawler still isn’t done as he waves out JR!  Appropriately enough JR has barbecue sauce.  He pours it into Cole’s mouth until it overflows and all over his face.  This is great.  Cole gets to the floor and tries to leave and says that he’s not a loser.  It’s Lawler and all the people that are losers.  He’s not going to kiss his……..BRET HART IS HERE!!!!!

THIS is what I mean when I say they need to give old school fans something special.  And before you ask, remember that it was Bret and Lawler in the first kiss my foot match.  Sharpshooter goes on the pencils that Cole calls legs and it’s time to kiss the feet, complete with barbecue sauce.  Cole is left totally destroyed and Bret’s music plays us out.  PERFECT ending to this segment as Cole is completely and utterly destroyed.

JR jumps in on commentary for the main event.

They show the replay a bunch of times and Cole’s face is priceless.

That’s What I Am video, which actually wasn’t all that bad.

We recap Miz vs. Cena.  More or less Cena got to pick the stips because it’s a match he flat out doesn’t lose.  This is their third PPV match so I kind of like the idea of having the odds stacked so high against Miz because he can say he didn’t deserve to lose but at the same time they’re almost too high.

Raw World Title: The Miz vs. John Cena

I Quit rules here and they have a LOT of time.  Miz has the coat again which is always a perk.  It’s only 20 past ten so they have a TON of time.  Miz grabs the mic and says that since there are no rules Riley is going to help him.  That helps a bit.  Riley more or less plays spoiler here as he breaks up an early STF attempt.  This is pretty smart actually.

The dueling chants begin as Cena puts Riley on the floor.  Cena initiates his ending sequence quickly but Miz countered into a Skull Crushing Finale attempt.  He walks into an FU but Riley pops in to massacre him with about 12 briefcase shots.  Double powerbomb out of the corner but Cena says no.  Booker more or less ends his employment by saying Cena has limited skills/abilities.  Well he has a job on the internet for life.

More beatings follow and Cena is sent into the barricade, drawing a no.  They set up the table and Miz hits a monitor shot to the head.  This is getting a bit brutal here.  Cena drills Riley and comes back on Miz but gets sent into the steps.  DDT on the steps and Cena doesn’t give up still.  That one was more meager though.  Miz cuts a short promo on Cena, saying that if he doesn’t give up Riley will slam the steps onto Cena’s ribs.  Cena say go away and there are the steps for him.

Riley gets in the ring and holds Cena’s arms back.  Miz says he has a weapon and will hit him with it if Cena doesn’t give up.  “You hit like a girl.”  That of course gets a no.  Miz GOES OFF on Cena who more or less tries in vain to cover up.  He still won’t quit though.  There are some sick marks all over Cena’s stomach from that stick.  This has been about 95% Miz/Riley.

The go up to the stage and Miz suplexes him on the stage.  Cena is screaming loudly but still won’t quit.  Matthews asks about Cena’s breaking point.  Haven’t we seen that show already?  Miz gets a running boot to the head to kick Cena off the stage.  Cena STILL won’t say he quits but he doesn’t say no for awhile this time.  They get a boom mic and a leather belt.  Miz talks to Cena on the mic again but Cena STILL won’t quit even at the threat of a whipping.  “You have a leather strap but you got no nuts.”

Cena more or less stops reacting other than sticking his leg up to try to block the belt shots.  He STILL says no, almost through tears.  They head back to the ring and Cena somehow keeps fighting but a chair to the ribs and back stops that run.  This is getting pretty awesome as it’s looking almost impossible for him to come back here and that Miz has the perfect plan.

Back in the ring and Cena AGAIN fights back.  And there goes the referee.  Cena can’t get the FU on Riley but Miz takes him down one more time.  He puts the chair between the ropes and it’s a Skull Crushing Finale THROUGH the chair which looks like it bent a bit.  Booker: “They seem like they’re trying to hurt him.”  Get this man off my commentary NOW.

Miz says maybe he needs to make this a bit more personal.  He goes to a fan and asks if Cena is his hero.  The kid says yes and he wants to know if he wants Cena to quit.  The kid says never.  Mic shot still gets a no from the fan.  Miz GOES OFF on the fan and the fan shrugs his shoulder.  Get actors next time Vince as the fan is hilarious here.  Miz threatens Cena with a ton of chair shots as he’s stuck in part of the barricade now.  Cena says the kids are smarter than he is which gets no reaction really.

BIG chair shot over the head for that one and now Riley wants him to say it.  THEY ACTUALLY DO THE RECORDED VOICE BIT!!!  Cena clearly didn’t move but a voiceover of him said it.  The referee wants the belt but he finds the tape recorder.  I think he’s calling shenanigans here.  It’s Riley’s phone so RESTART IT!  Riley sets for a belt shot but it takes Miz out instead.  FU to Riley through the table and Cena takes his own belt off.  A bunch of whippings and Miz quits like a girl to the STF (Cena said it earlier, not me).

Rating: B+. This is a very hit or miss match much like the I Quit match against Orton at Breaking Point in 2009.  You really have to check your brain at the door for this one but at the same time that makes it work.  They got brutal with this one and that made it work very well in the end of it all.  I got into it for a lot in there and the restart made sense too.  Good match, not for everyone though.

Overall Rating: B. Call this one a pleasant surprise.  I was thinking this would be nothing but we got two great matches and a great moment with Cole and Lawler.  The rest isn’t great but it’s certainly not all that bad.  I liked this show actually and it worked quite well all things considered.  When you have zero expectations and get a decent show with a very good final hour and a half or so, things are definitely looking up for it.  Good show overall.

Results

R-Truth b. Rey Mysterio – Downward Spiral

Ezekiel Jackson b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Justin Gabriel interfered

Sin Cara b. Chavo Guerrero – Headscissors

Big Show/Kane b. Mason Ryan/CM Punk – Double Chokeslam to Ryan

Brie Bella b. Kelly Kelly – Bella Buster

Randy Orton b. Christian – RKO

Jerry Lawler b. Michael Cole – Middle Rope Punch

John Cena b. The Miz – Miz said I Quit

And I thought Starrcade 97 stood alone as the dumbest ending of all time.  The GM reversed the decision because Austin overstepped his boundaries as referee or something like that.  I’m stunned here.

Smackdown
Date: April 1, 2011
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Josh Matthews

This is the final show before the big one and from what I understand it’s mainly a highlight show which is fine.  There were some matches taped at Raw so at least we’ll get some original content.  Expect a lot of “we see so and so from Raw” on here tonight but that’s all well and good for a show like this.  Let’s get to it.

Theme some opens us up.  For once I have to watch this live as there was no pre-air.

Intercontinental Title: Wade Barrett vs. Kofi Kingston

Wade looks good with the title.  Kofi charges straight at him which gets him nowhere as Barrett kicks him to the floor and takes over.  Back in the ring a pumphandle slam gets two.  Barrett channels his inner Chris Hero and locks on a Cravate but rams Kofi’s head into Barrett’s knee as he does it for some added punishment.

Kofi comes back with kicks and strikes plus that great dropkick for two.  SOS doesn’t work.  There are water stains in the ring which must be from something I’ve forgotten about from Raw.  Top rope cross body gets two and here’s the Boom Drop.  Trouble in Paradise runs into a big boot as Booker rambles about Kofi wasting time.  Wasteland doesn’t work and there’s Trouble in Paradise out of nowhere, but there’s Corre for the DQ at 3:57.

Rating: C-. Match wasn’t anything of note at all for the most part and even while it was good we were all just waiting for Corre to come out for the ending.  Not much of a match and the Corre formula is getting very old very quickly.  They’re a terribly boring stable even with a lot of gold like they have.

The beatdown begins until Santino/Kozlov come out to get beaten down also.  Show and Kane come out for the real save.  Kofi has nothing to do at Mania at all does he?

We recap last week with Cody jumping Rey and trying to hurt him.

Striker is with Cody who is in the shadows with a towel over his head.  Cody says that he’s a very bitter man that doesn’t even want to look in the mirror anymore.  This is a rather serious promo and it comes off pretty well.  Cody says that on Sunday Rey has to contend with this, revealing his mask, and this, holding up the knee brace.  Good stuff, but then again I like Cody.

Back and we get clips from Axxess where we have Todd and the Bellas.  There are areas such as Hornswoggle’s house under the ring and Vince’s destroyed limo.  The Bellas brag a bit and it sounds like a CM Punk chant in the background.

We get a recap of Taker vs. HHH, as in the same one from Raw with the song.  Later tonight we’ll see the staredown from Raw.  The video really is good.

We recap Orton vs. Punk which had a great build and then it just fell apart.  The continuity was a nice touch but they kind of lost the flare with the Nexus guys getting destroyed over and over.  At least it’s one on one at the PPV.

There’s an exhibit at Axxess where you can emulate various wrestlers’ entrances.

We talk about Shawn getting into the Hall of Fame a bit and then get a video about the LOD from Raw.  Dang right they should be in the Hall of Fame.

We get the entire Swagger vs. Lawler match from Monday which I’ll throw in the recap from my Raw review in order to fill in some space here.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jack Swagger

Lawler has different music here.  Cole pops up on the apron and gets down just before Lawler hits him.  Swagger takes over and a Vader Bomb crushes him.  Out to the floor and Jerry is thrown into the time keeper’s area.  Lawler gets a right hand in and pops Swagger with a chair for the DQ at 1:20.  That’s really the only ending they could go with here.  Lawler goes after Cole but the security holds him back as Jerry tries to get in through the top of the box.  Cole throws his drink at him and Jerry backs off.

Back on Smackdown now, even though I’d assume this was taped before the segment we just recapped occurred, with Jerry Lawler coming out to address Cole.  Lawler talks about Cole making fun of his mother, his father and bringing his son out to insult Jerry.  Cole left before Lawler came out here.  Jerry says that if Cole was here, neither would make it to Wrestlemania.  Austin is going to cancel out Swagger on Sunday and it’s just the two of them.  On Sunday Lawler is going to do what every fan wants him to do: shut Cole’s mouth.

We get a video from the Mania press conference which had a lot of mainstream press.  Allegedly Cena was booed to the point of tears which is saying a lot.  Snooki looks like some kind of Xena Warrior Elf.

At Axxess you can see Austin’s ATV and Taker’s graveyard, which would be awesome if Axxess hadn’t already happened.  Just to tease us in the background you can see Santino/Kozlov about to face the Usos live at Axxess.  Clearly we can’t watch that though right?  Wow did I really just ask to see Santino/Kozlov vs. the Usos?  I must be bored.

We reair the Shawn/Taker/HHH thing from Monday.  I’ve commented on it twice already so I’ve got nothing here.  Eats up about 15 minutes.

Video of the Miz on Conan which really was funny.  Coco is officially the Ginja Ninja with the catchphrase of “Step into my dojo mofo.”  Miz is hilarious when he’s allowed to just be himself.

Sin Cara is coming.

There’s a booth at Axxess with the old WWF/E title and some autographed stuff.  Trish has her own fashion booth which just makes me want to see her in them rather than on mannequins.

Time to talk about Trish/Snooki.  Oh joy.  Since all of the segments have been short, we see all of them involving Snooki.

We recap Del Rio vs. Edge which is more or less running down the history of Alberto who somehow only debuted in the fall.

Cody Rhodes vs. Chris Masters

Here’s your last match before Wrestlemania people.  Cherish it.  Cody has a new dark version of Smoke and Mirrors which is pretty awesome sounding.  Cody goes straight at him which gets him nowhere.  Cole comes out during the match as Cody hits the Beautiful Disaster to take over.  Mad heat on Cole which I don’t think is legit.  Cody gets a crossface chickenwing (what is up with people using that recently?) and calls some spots.  Masters gets a Samoan Drop but can’t get the Master Lock.  Cross Rhodes ends this at 2:10.  Just a squash.

Rey runs out but can’t get 619.  Cody avoids it again with the second time seeing Rey expose the knee brace.  Here lies Cody Rhodes: the latest awesome character to be sacrificed to the King of Mystery.  You know it’s coming.

We talk about Jericho on Dancing with the Stars with Matthews saying Jericho won the Undisputed Title at Wrestlemania.  Are they altering THAT now too?

Cena’s cars are at Axxess and some of them are one of a kind.

Naturally the last part of the show is reairing Rock and Cena with Miz on the side from Raw.  I can’t get over the fact that the Attitude Adjustment actually happened.  I’m pulling for Miz on Sunday, just to hear his promo the next night.  Cena leaves Rock laying to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Now I know what you’re thinking: this was supposed to be a preview of Mania.  Well that’s true.  However, WWE has a roster of like 60 people.  A TON of them won’t be on Mania and yet we couldn’t see any of them here?  I have no desire to look at Axxess stuff for an hour and a half, see a 4 minute IC Title match and a squash.  Throw Tatsu out there or something.  I’m not saying make it Superstars, but you couldn’t find ten more minutes of wrestling without airing EVERYTHING from the past month?  I get the point of this, but I still don’t like it in the slightest really.

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 14, 2011
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews
Guest Star: Snooki

After last week’s pretty good show, we’re here with the first of the final three Raws before Mania.  With 20 days to go, things started to looks up last week as Miz got serious and Cena apparently is done talking to Rock.  Also tonight it’s Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus in a title vs. job match which should be fun.  Let’s get to it.

Oh and Snooki is here tonight too.  Dang it all.

We open with a picture of the Rock and hear him talking to the president.  He makes fun of Cena’s promo last week, saying it wasn’t funny and that Cena talks like a child.  Cena’s music hits and Rock says he’ll have to call the President back.  Rock talks to someone off camera, saying that Cena is a man for coming to see him.

And it’s a kid.  The kid is in a Cena shirt and raps a bit but Rock says that Cena has to talk like an adult.  Rock sits down and makes fun of “Cena”, saying that while Cena has run with the ball since Rock is gone, he hasn’t run that far.  At the end of the day, it comes down to the fact that Cena simply isn’t that talented.

Rock says it doesn’t matter how that makes him feel and Cena starts crying.  Rock says that the fans should be crying after seeing Cena’s movies.  The Rock gives him a gift: a box of Fruity Pebbles.  This is absolutely hilarious by the way.  After sending the kid away, Rock turns to the camera and turns his attention to the Miz.

They haven’t been introduced and Miz claims to be the most must see WWE Champion in history.  Well he’s the Rock, the most electrifying man in all of entertainment.  There’s this ominous music playing in the background at the same time.  Miz hit the People’s Elbow and insulted his family.  That statement means that Miz wants the biggest whipping of all time.  Rock says the time for talking is done and before Mania he will be on Raw.  Cena needs to shut his mouth.  The smack will be laid down, if you smell what he’s cooking.

Trish is in the back with Snooki.  Someone get me my gun that I don’t own.

All three commentators are here and Cole is in his own glass/plastic box.  That’s hilarious.  Oh and it’s called the Cole Mine.  Great stuff.  There’s no top on it.

Here’s Miz and we get a clip of three weeks ago when Miz and Cena won the tag titles.  Also we see the end of the cage match and of last week’s show.  In present time Miz says that Rock’s shirt says I Bring It.  That’s true as he brings bad movies, weak catchphrases and long diatribes of a has been.  Miz runs down Rock’s family because he’s WWE Champion, making him better than them.

Rock likes to make six year olds cry.  Miz says Rock should step into this ring as Miz will make Rock cry.  Rock doesn’t own Cena, the Miz does.  Miz says that he hopes Rock brings it here to St. Louis, but if Rock does he’ll be overshadowed by Miz.  The catchphrase seems to end the commercial but we have an e-mail.

Cole has to leave the box to get to the podium and Lawler blocks his way.  Apparently Jerry is going to read them tonight.  There are two first time ever matches tonight: one for Cena and one for Miz.  Cena faces Alberto Del Rio and Miz faces the Great Khali.  I would have bet on HHH but I guess they’re saving that for Mania.  Miz vs. Khali is next.

The Miz vs. Great Khali

Naturally Khali dominates to start.  Cole is already getting on my verves by ignoring Lawler every time he talks.  Khali gets the big overhead chop and locks in the vice less than a minute in.  Miz’s face being all crushed is hilarious.  Miz gets the rope and Riley runs in for the DQ (wasn’t he fired?) at 1:14.  Miz destroys Khali with a chair Austin style post match.  DDT on the chair ends it.  Miz actually BROKE the chair, as in one of the legs is hanging off.  There’s a gash in Khali’s back too which I can’t imagine is fake.

Cole is going to expose Lawler tonight with a special guest.

Orton vs. Ryan later.

We see the HHH video from Smackdown which is designed to make HHH look like a tough guy.  That isn’t that hard to do.

John Morrison is talking to Snooki.  Dang it he had potential.  She offers him a spot of Jersey Shore.  Vickie and Dolph come up and make fun of Snooki.  Apparently Vickie was offered the cover of Playboy.  Snooki makes a fat joke and blocks a slap to hit Vickie and we take a break.

US Title: Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

There’s a graphic with an American flag and fireworks for the US Title.  Cool.  If Sheamus loses he quits.  Gail Kim is with Bryan here.  Sheamus looked angry about the idea of the stipulation even though it was his idea I believe.  Sheamus takes over early as we talk about the possibility of the curse of being King of the Ring.  Bryan moonsaults over Sheamus and tries the LeBell Lock but Sheamus escapes.

Suicide Dive to the floor takes down Sheamus and a missile dropkick takes down the Irishman for two.  Sheamus hits the floor again and looks lost as we take a break.  Back with Sheamus in control of Bryan, mainly focusing on his back.  Bryan grabs a small package for two and sends Sheamus to the floor.  Sheamus may have hurt his ankle again just like last week.

He makes it back in this week but the Brogue Kick misses and Bryan grabs the LeBell Lock.  Sheamus grabs the ropes and tries the High Cross.  Bryan rolls through it for two and they slug it out with Bryan taking him down.  BIG kick to the head gets a long two.  Bryan goes up but jumps into the Brogue Kick which ends Bryan’s title reign at 9:00.  Sweet ending.

Rating: B. This was a good TV match with both guys coming off looking good.  Sheamus is arguably a bigger star than Bryan so it’s not like this is a major upset.  The kick looked great too so it’s not like some weak move ended it.  Good TV match too and it got some good time with some hard hitting shots.  Good stuff.

Cole says he’s going to commit Regicide (killing of a king) tonight and his guest is up next.

After a recap of last week’s segment with JBL, Cole and Austin.  Cole is in the ring and says that Jerry gets defensive about his family.  Tonight Cole isn’t going to talk about Lawler’s family because Lawler’s family is going to talk about Lawler.  Cue Brian freaking Christopher, looking like a slim Dusty Rhodes with a beard with a distance.  Christopher cuts a total heel promo, saying how Lawler never wanted a family or a son and when Christopher made it to WWE, Lawler didn’t acknowledge that Christopher was his son.

Lawler grabs the mic and says that he’s glad Christopher never went by Brian Lawler, because he’s a bigger screw up than Charlie Sheen, proven by him associating with Michael Cole.  Brian asks his dad how it feels that his son was at Wrestlemania before Lawler did as one of the biggest stars in the company as part of Too Cool (just go with it).  Christopher gets in his face and Lawler just sits there and takes it.  Cole says this proves that Lawler is a loser.

CUE JR of all people who says that Cole has gone too far with everything and that Cole needs to come to his senses.  Cole says that Ross needs to just go away and that he’s the voice of the WWE and not Jim Ross.  Ross has wanted to talk to him about that, because the voice of the WWE is that of the fans, not one person.  Lawler has been carrying Cole like a baby kangaroo in his mother’s pouch.  Ross says Cole isn’t cuddly like a kangaroo though.  He’s a rat bastard.

Cole talks about how this is what he always expected: Ross leaving Cole in his Cole’s ring like a coward.  JR takes the jacket and tie off and is ready to fight.  As he gets ready, Swagger jumps Lawler and then hits the ring to beat up Ross and put on the ankle lock.  Lawler gets up and hammers Swagger but Cole jumps on Lawler and puts the ankle lock on Lawler who taps.  Cole puts the hold on Ross and the evildoers stand tall.  Good stuff here indeed.

Edge and Christian get a tag title shot on Friday.  Cool.

Randy Orton vs. Mason Ryan

Huge hometown boy pop for Orton of course.  Orton has punted everyone so far and this is the final one left for Orton to beat.  Punk is on the ramp of course and if Ryan wins he can be in the corner of Punk at Mania.  Ryan uses basic power to take over and hits the sitout Rock Bottom for two.  The referee seemed like he had to stop early there so maybe Orton missed his cue.  Ryan picks him up and another attempt is countered into the RKO to end it at 2:58.  This was nothing for the most part but at least the dismantling of the Nexus is over now.

Orton goes up for Punk on the ramp but turns around and sprints back into the ring to punt Ryan as well.  Punk tries to get in from behind but Orton turns and they lock eyes with both almost on their stomachs.  Punk slithers out.  Ryan is taken out on a stretcher.

We recap Snooki and Vickie from earlier and that slap.

Drew Carey is going into the Hall of Fame.  What do you even say to that?

Cole talks some more about how awesome he is.

Snooki and Trish are up next.  Snooki gets hit on by Zach Ryder and it’s totally pointless.

Snooki comes out and says nothing at all of note.  Way to earn that paycheck!

Vickie Guerero vs. Trish Stratus

This is No DQ all of a sudden.  Before the match Vickie yells at Snooki and claims that she was supposed to be on the cover of Rolling Stone instead of Snooki.  Trish works as a brunette too.  Vickie warms up before we get going here so Trish rolls her up for two.  Vickie runs to the floor and loses her shoe.  She gets it back and uses it like a sword.  Then she throws the shoe at Trish and tries to use it like a baseball bat.

Vickie gets spanked by the shoe until Dolph comes in for the save.  Cue Morrison for the second save and a big corkscrew plancha to take down Ziggler.  Laycool comes in and Michelle gets the boot to the face of Trish.  Vickie gets the pin at 2:30.  Just a comedy match here, and yet still longer and better than Hardy vs. Sting.  You knew I’d have to get a shot in at that somewhere.

Laycool gets in Snooki’s face post match and the fight is on.  Trish makes the save.  Snooki raises her arms and the tips of her fingers are equal to the top of Trish’s head.  Vickie makes a challenge for a 6 person/Diva/creature tag at Mania.  Snooki will do it.  Oh sweet goodness I need a blunt object to bash my skull in with.

Sin Cara is still coming.  That looks awesome.

Shawn talks about Undertaker.  I should point out that it’s 10:58 and we have a main event to go still.  Shawn praises Taker as he did HHH last week and nothing of note is said.  There’s an aura to the Streak apparently.

Alberto Del Rio vs. John Cena

Del Rio grabs a headlock to start and Cena speeds things up.  Cole says Rock is here tonight in St. Louis.  Del Rio hits the floor and we take a break at 11:05.  Ok then.  Back with Del Rio getting two off an unseen move.  Double knockdown and they slug it out after getting up.  Here come the shoulders and Del Rio is in trouble.  Five Knuckle Shuffle but Brodus runs in for the DQ at 7:25.  Not enough shown to rate again which is rather annoying but that’s life.

Anyway the point here is that Rock’s music plays and HE’S…..someone in a bald wig.  That would be Miz I believe.  Cena beats up Brodus but the numbers catch up to him.  That’s the best bald wig I’ve ever seen.  Cena is sent to the floor and Miz beats on him even more.  A few mic shots to the head put Cena down.  Del Rio and Clay are gone.

Miz suplexes him onto the ramp to mess with his back.  Cena fires back but can’t get the FU.  Miz DDTs him on the stage and Cena is out.  Cena gets rammed into the big WWE sign on the stage as this is going a bit long.  Skull Crushing Finale into the same sign and Cena is out cold to end the show.  Miz’s face is awesome.

Overall Rating: A-. This was one of the best shows I’ve ever seen….for about an hour and ten minutes.  Starting with Orton, the rest of this show just fell apart.  Now that being said, it was still very good overall.  Cena/Miz/Rock is awesome at this point and the Cole vs. Lawler thing is going to be epic when it finally goes off.  This was a very good show and they got things going for Mania even more.  That being said, I loathe “celebrities” like the Jersey Shore people so that was a big black mark for me.  Other than that, good stuff and even more good building for Mania.

Results

Great Khali b. The Miz via DQ when Alex Riley interfered

Sheamus b. Daniel Bryan – Brogue Kick

Randy Orton b. Mason Ryan – RKO

Vickie Guerrero b. Trish Stratus – Guerrero pinned Stratus after a big boot from Michelle McCool

John Cena b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when Brodus Clay interfered