Monday Night Raw – August 4, 2008: Those Two, And Everything Else

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 4, 2008
Location: Thompson-Boling Arena, Knoxville, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

For reasons I still do not want to understand, we’re in the Mike Adamle Era as he is the new GM of the show. Other than that nightmare, we have less than two weeks to go before Summerslam and the real main event from Raw is set as John Cena will face Batista. Other than that, CM Punk still needs an official challenger and we might get that tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Quick note: I did the Saturday Night’s Main Event but it didn’t save properly and was lost. Normally I would redo it but a grand total of nothing happened on the show and I’m not going to waste even more time on such a pathetic excuse for a “special”.

Here is Mike Adamle to get things going. The fans are all over him before he tells a story about a man who worked in a circus like atmosphere and wasn’t very good at his job. He’s talking about Ronald Reagan, who went from being a B list movie star to the Presidency. Reagan acted with a monkey, while Adamle said Jeff Harvey.

There have been people criticizing his work as an ECW commentator and wanting his resignation. That is your right as an American but it isn’t an American that he wants to be in. He wants to be in an America where a 5’9 man can play seven years in the NFL and be a star. As for tonight, how many people would like to see a championship match tonight? Instead, we’ll do three of them, with Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase defending the Tag Team Titles against John Cena/Batista….and here is JBL to interrupt.

JBL knows what it means to make a bad first impression, but now people see him for the success that he is. After bragging about being featured in Fortune Magazine and being a former professional football player, he brings up the World Title match at Summerslam. Cue Chris Jericho to interrupt, saying he should get the title shot instead.

Bickering ensues, but Adamle cuts them off and makes JBL/Jericho vs. CM Punk, where either of them get the title shot at Summerslam if they beat him. If Punk wins, neither gets a title shot. That’s kind of an unfair stipulation, but I had to listen to Adamle talk so there is nothing fair. He’s just not the right pick for this spot and that was even more apparent here.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Paul Burchill

Burchill, with Katie Lea, is challenging and works on a wristlock to start. Kingston flips him over for two as we hear about Burchill’s rugby career. Some right hands in the corner keep Burchill in trouble but Katie offers a distraction, allowing Burchill to get in a clothesline. We hit something like a seated crossface chickenwing until Kingston fights up and strikes away. A crossbody gives Kingston two and Trouble In Paradise retains the title.

Rating: C+. Hopefully this finishes Burchill as a challenger as it feels like it has been going on for months now. Burchill hasn’t felt like a big time challenger but he keeps going after Kingston. The clean finish gives me some hope though as there is pretty much no reason to keep this going.

Post match the Burchills go after Kingston again, only to be cleared out. Cue Mickie James for her scheduled match with Katie.

Women’s Title: Katie Lea vs. Mickie James

Joined in progress with Mickie striking away, including a dropkick to the floor. Mickie hits a Thesz press off the apron and strikes away before doing the same in the corner. A neckbreaker over the ropes has Mickie in more trouble and we hit the surfboard. With that broken up, Mickie hits her own neckbreaker for two but Lea’s suplex gets the same. Not that it matters as the MickieDT retains the title.

Rating: C. This feud has been going even longer than Kingston vs. Burchill and it’s nice to seemingly have it wrap up. Mickie is in need of a fresh challenger for the title and there aren’t many options around here. Lea is fine enough in the ring but there are only so many people she can face at the moment. For now though, it doesn’t seem to be Mickie and that’s fine.

Post match Beth Phoenix runs in to take Mickie out. Santino Marella approves and mild spanking ensues.

Mike Adamle calls Stephanie McMahon to thank her for the opportunity. Beth Phoenix and Santino Marella come in to interrupt because they both want title shots at Summerslam. Adamle says there is only room for one more match so they bicker a bit. Adamle finally cuts them off and makes a tag match between the two of them and Kofi Kingston/Mickie James, winner take all.

Video on John Cena.

Batista is happy to get a shot at the Tag Team Titles but could go for a different partner. He could also go for the World Title shot at Summerslam but if beating John Cena gets him there, so be it.

Layla dances in the ring and we see a clip of her ending things with Jamie Noble (who had made reservations at Waffle House). Cue William Regal to remind us that he is the King Of The Ring but here is Noble to interrupt. The brawl is on but referees break it up.

CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho/John Bradshaw Layfield

Non-title. Hold on though as Mike Adamle pops up on screen to say that this match has a ten minute time limit. If the match goes to the time limit, it’s a triple threat match at Summerslam for the title. JBL and Jericho argue to start so Punk jumps them, not wanting a triple threat either. A double shoulder drops Punk and Jericho gets sent outside. The fall away slam gives JBL two on Punk an JBL slowly hammers away in the corner.

Jericho manages to send JBL into the steps though and the chinlock has Punk in trouble. Back up and Punk catches him on top, only to get pulled into an abdominal stretch with five minutes left. JBL comes back in and tries to steal the pin on Punk, meaning it’s time for the villains to slug it out. JBL gets sent outside so the Lionsault can give Jericho two. Punk is back up with a springboard clothesline to JBL before sending Jericho into the corner with three minutes left.

Punk’s running knee in the corner sets up the bulldog to drop JBL and the GTS gets two with Jericho making the save. Jericho gets catapulted into JBL for two as we have a minute and a half left. Another GTS attempt is countered into the Walls on Punk with JBL making his own save…and then falling on Punk to steal the pin with one second left.

Rating: C+. This had quite a few different rules and while they might have been more complicated than necessary, at least it clears up the question of who will be getting the title shot. On the other hand, it’s JBL, who is just so boring with everything he does that he drains the life out of everything. Punk should be able to get a nice title defense, but dang it is not going to be interesting on the way there.

We get a long recap of Chris Jericho injuring Shawn Michaels’ eye and possibly ending his career.

Michaels joins us from San Antonio and says his eye is really banged up. The injury has allowed him to take a break and heal up a bit but he has all kinds of health issues. He has another evaluation two days before Summerslam and he wants to come to the show and announce his decision. If he is allowed to compete, even on a part time basis, he’ll do it, but he’s going to listen to his doctors. Chris Jericho said maybe Shawn should just go home and be with his family….and maybe he should.

Here is Matt Striker to remind us who he is and request the best competition.

Matt Striker vs. Kane

Kane powers him away to start and shrugs off a forearm to the back. Kane plants him with a slam, hits the top rope clothesline and finishes with the chokeslam.

Post match Kane grabs the bag he has been carrying around and says he has been in a bad place lately. He looks at the bag and says “he’s not alive, he’s dead.”

Smackdown Rebound.

Summerslam rundown.

Video on Batista.

John Cena talks about how that video gives him a perspective on Batista, because it makes him know what Batista can do in the ring. As for Mike Adamle, we’ll have to see what happens with his time as the boss, but anyone can see what happens when Cena and Batista face off.

Cena has been overshadowed by Batista more than once and knew that they were going to go head to head at some point. They they both wound up on Raw and he knew it would happen one day. Then a few weeks ago, he punched Batista in the face and knew that one day was going to be at Summerslam. First though, they can become Tag Team Champions. Cena hopes they win. This was the kind of promo that made the match feel so much bigger, which is where Cena tends to shine.

Kelly Kelly comes in to see Mike Adamle to compliment him on everything he has done. She brings up Kane, but Adamle has an idea for him for next week. For now though, she’s going to watch the main event with him.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase vs. Batista/John Cena

Cena and Batista are challenging. DiBiase starts with Cena and is quickly knocked down for an early two. Batista comes in to shove Rhodes down and fires off the shoulders in the corner. A missed charge goes into the post though and we take a break. Back with Rhodes working on the arm but Batista powers out again and hands it off to Cena. DiBiase breaks up the FU though and hits a belly to back. The fist drop (ala his dad) has commentary thinking DiBiase is mocking the Five Knuckle Shuffle because these two aren’t very good at times.

Batista does not look impressed as Cena gets double elbowed down for two more. Rhodes grabs a sleeper (from the left for a weird look) and then DiBiase does the same (from the right side, in case you were wondering), only to have Cena reverse into one of his own. That’s broken up as well but Cena walks over and slaps Batista in the face for the tag. A backdrop and spear take DiBiase down and Cena cuts Rhodes off, leaving the Batista Bomb to connect for the pin and the titles.

Rating: B-. The match itself was fairly dull, but the storytelling with Batista not wanting to do this because he can’t stand Cena, while Cena is always going to want to compete and win because that’s who he is. It made for an interesting dynamic and gives another layer to a match that is pretty much already set up. Other than that, it was a fairly long match with Cena and Batista running through the champions at the end, which is a bit more acceptable when you have a modern day Mega Powers in Cena and Batista.

Batista rather forcefully hands Cena his belt and they slowly hold up the titles. It turns into a pose off and then a staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show is pretty much Cena/Batista and then everything else, as there is very little that I would want to see otherwise. Adamle is just not interesting, which might be what they’re going for but it’s not making for the most thrilling material. Other than that, you have the World Title stuff which is hardly making me want to see what happens next. Batista and Cena are good stuff, but I’m going to need a lot more than that to sell this side of the Summerslam card.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – July 28, 2008: The Silence Is Deafening

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 28, 2008
Location: Verizon Center, Washington DC
Attendance: 14,722
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re on the way to Summerslam and the end of last week’s show seemed to set up what could be a heck of a big Raw main event. It seems that we are on the way to a showdown between John Cena and Batista, which is the kind of a match that could headline Wrestlemania if given the chance. That should do for Summerslam, but we could be in for a bit of an uneven reaction in Batista’s hometown. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of the Batista/John Cena/CM Punk/Kane/JBL situation from last week, leaving us with Batista and Cena squaring off to end the show.

Opening sequence.

Here is John Cena to get things going and he has to acknowledge the mixed reaction. He is now perfect and he has made a mistake, meaning there are consequences to face. Last week, he hit Batista in the mouth and that means there are going to be consequences (I think he said that already.). If Batista would like to come out here, they can settle those consequences right now.

Cue Batista, who says that he saw what happened and they’re cool. They’re cool enough that once Batista defeats CM Punk to win the World Title, Cena is getting the first shot. Cena finds that nice….but Batista has already had his two shots. There are a lot of guys who deserve a shot and Cena isn’t sure Batista is at the top of that list. Batista laughs and says he knows CM Punk can’t beat him and neither can Cena.

That has Cena laughing as well, saying that Batista must be glad to be back home. A match between them should headline Wrestlemania, but what if we did Wrestlemania tonight? Batista likes the sound of that….but here is the returning Shane McMahon to interrupt. He and Stephanie McMahon have selected the new General Manager for tonight’s show, who we will meet later.

The new GM has made a bunch of matches tonight, including CM Punk against a free agent. As for Batista vs. Cena, it won’t be happening tonight, because Cena will be facing JBL and Kane. Oh and he can have Batista as a partner. Shane seemed a bit off here, speaking much more quietly and calmly than usual.

Santino Marella/Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly/D’Lo Brown

Before the match, Santino and Beth argued over who kissed whom last week but agreed to keep this strictly professional. The men start things off, with Santino saying he has this but getting his kick to the ribs blocked. Brown hits him with a rather hard clothesline and then knocks him into the corner off a right hand.

A missed charge lets Santino grab a neckbreaker though but he can’t manage a fireman’s carry. Instead Beth tags herself in and easily lifts Brown for a funny spot. Kelly comes in for some running forearms but Beth knees her down without much trouble. Santino wants in but misses an elbow, which does not sit well with Beth. Instead Santino grabs a rollup for the fast pin and the big celebration.

Post match we get a celebratory…handshake, but neither seem happy with that. Santino puckers up but gets glared at, only to have Beth grab him by the hair for a rather firm kiss of her own.

Shane McMahon looks at a picture of Vince McMahon when JBL interrupts to ask how Vince is doing. Shane ignores the question so JBL moves on to asking about the World Title. That’s something JBL needs to take up with the GM, but his question about Kane is cut off by a phone call from the new GM (and yes the ringtone is Shane’s theme song).

Raw Tag Team Titles: Jim Duggan/Jerry Lawler vs. Ted DiBiase Jr./Cody Rhodes

DiBiase and Rhodes are defending and Lawler comes out from the entrance rather than just getting up from commentary. Actually hold on though as the new General Manager has sent in a notice saying that Lawler will not be teaming up with Duggan, but there is a replacement.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Michael Cole/Jerry Lawler vs. Ted DiBiase Jr./Cody Rhodes

DiBiase and Rhodes are still defending and Cole is less than happy. After a break, Cole is on the apron (meaning no commentary, which is always weird) and Lawler naturally tells him that he’s going to do this on his own. DiBiase starts for the team and backs Lawler into the corner for a surprisingly clean break. It works so well that DiBiase does it again, but this time Lawler slaps him in the face to pick things up a bit.

DiBiase runs him over and hammers away before handing it off to Rhodes, who gets slapped as well. Lawler hammers Rhodes down in the corner but a middle rope dropkick gets Rhodes out of trouble. We hit the armbar but Lawler fights up and slugs away, as he is known to do. It’s way too early for the piledriver though and Lawler is sent into the corner…where Cole makes contact and that’s a tag. Rhodes sends Lawler outside so Cole actually hits him in the face, much to the fans’ delight. A hard clothesline retains the title.

Rating: C. This was much more of an angle than a match and that’s ok for something like this one. The new GM is apparently quite the villain, which should make for a bigger deal later tonight. If nothing else, DiBiase and Rhodes looked like the biggest villains in the world here, which is a good sign and better than they would have gotten out of Lawler and Duggan.

Post break Mike Adamle has taken over for Cole. Adamle says he was told to be here this week, suggesting that the GM had this planned in advance.

Here is Jamie Noble, with Layla, to say the new GM needs to pay attention to him. He wants to show off for Layla and prove that he’s the next Intercontinental Champion, so “Coffee” Kingston needs to get out here right now.

Kofi Kingston vs. Jamie Noble

Non-title. Noble hammers away to start and slams him down for two. Kofi is back up with the assortment of kicks into the Boom Drop, setting up a middle rope crossbody. Noble tries a fireman’s carry but gets caught with the spinning kick to the head to give Kingston the fast pin.

CM Punk vs. ???

Non-title, JBL is on commentary, and it’s……the returning William Regal, who is back from a Wellness suspension. Regal (in a sleeveless vest for a weird visual) grabs a headlock to start and takes Punk down. They go to the mat and Punk is rather overmatched. A jawbreaker gets Punk out of trouble and a leg lariat puts Regal down. Some knees in the corner just annoy Regal though and he hammers away, setting up a kick to the head against the post.

Back in and Punk (bleeding from the nose) gets taken down with Regal grinding a forearm into the jaw. Regal slowly forearms away and grabs a half nelson, which isn’t something you often see. Punk fights up and kicks away, including a hard one upside the head for two. A hard half nelson suplex drops Punk again, only to have him come back with the GTS for the fast pin.

Rating: B-. They were beating each other up out there and it was a fun match to see, even if it didn’t last long. You can imagine Punk being rather happy with getting to work with a veteran like Regal, who was probably happy to be back period. It was a nice return for Regal, who is always nice to have around.

Post match JBL gets in the ring so Punk is waiting on him, only for Kane to come out and drop JBL. Punk goes after Kane and gets taken down by JBL, who seems to come to an understanding with Kane.

Here are Chris Jericho and Lance Cade, for what is described as the final Highlight Reel. Jericho, in a suit, talks about how he has done something none of the fans here have done as he grew up. For years, he was seen as an entertainer and a party host for the new millennium. That is what he thought the fans wanted so he went along with it and even hosted his own talk show.

It was a pathetic mistake to pander to the fans and he was wrong to go that way. He will never settle for what the fans want again so tonight, the Highlight Reel is over. Before we go though, Jericho has a special tribute to a man whose career he personally ended. It’s not Shawn Michaels though, but rather Y2J. We see some clips of Jericho’s less than serious moments (a lot of which involves being mean to Stephanie McMahon) before Jericho asks if the fans miss that guy.

That footage embarrasses Jericho because he could have done that forever but no one would have ever respected him like Shawn Michaels. That made him realize he had to do something about it so he has given Michaels such a beating that he is gone forever. When he hurt Michaels, he hurt every one of the fans. Cade says he appreciates Jericho for taking him under his wing and saving him.

Jericho appreciates him as well, just like he appreciates how hard it is for Michaels to try to watch this show. He wants Michaels to listen to him for the first time ever: stay home and move on with your life. Enjoy life away from wrestling and move on, just like Jericho has. Speaking of which, he wants the Summerslam title match too. This was the really good evil Jericho and he has me wanting to see Michaels come back and get his revenge. Great stuff here.

Jim Ross joins commentary and has to correct Adamle from saying Survivor Series tickets will be on sale, because they will be “available”. That is a Vince line if I’ve ever heard one.

Mickie James vs. Jillian Hall

Non-title and Mickie’s dad is in the front row. Mickie starts fast and tries the hurricanrana but gets faceplanted for her efforts. Hall’s running flipping faceplant sets up something like a dragon sleeper, followed by some screeching. JR critiques Adamle’s move calling as Mickie fights back with a Thesz press and slugs away. The MickieDT finishes Hall rather quickly.

Post match Mickie goes to hug her dad but gets jumped by Katie Lea Burchill. Paul Burchill comes out as Katie says they’ll both be champions soon.

Todd Grisham can’t get Shane McMahon to reveal the GM, but whoever it is, they’re already here.

Summerslam rundown.

Jenny McCarthy still doesn’t like autism. Various celebrities agree.

Cryme Tyme have John Cena’s back for the main event but Batista comes in. Cena says he has this so Cryme Tyme leaves, with Batista telling Cena to stay out of his way. Then they aren’t sure who should go to the ring first.

Batista/John Cena vs. Kane/John Bradshaw Layfield

Cena and JBL start things off with JBL hammering him down to limited avail. Cena is right back with the Throwback for one and Batista tags himself in as JR is trying to figure out why he’s on the show this week. JBL’s forearm to the back doesn’t get him very far as Batista plants him with a powerslam. Kane makes the save so the villains are cleared out, leaving Batista and Cena to glare at each other as we take a break.

Back with JBL grabbing a swinging neckbreaker to put Cena down and handing it off to Kane. A basement dropkick and slam give Kane two each and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up so it’s back to JBL, who knocks Cena into the corner again. Cena fights up again (he does that a lot) and double clotheslines Kane down. The big tag brings in Batista to clean house including the spinebuster to JBL (Batista was polite enough to say “SPINEBUSTER” before he did it).

A low bridge takes Batista down though and Kane gets to come back in for a kick to the ribs. Kane stays on said ribs with a bodyscissors before it’s back to JBL to hammer away in the corner. Batista gets up again and spears JBL, who is right back with a big boot. Unfortunately JBL is also back with a right hand that hits Kane by mistake, meaning it’s time for some stalking. Cena uses the distraction to tag himself in and hit the AA to finish Kane.

Rating: C+. This got some time and felt like a big main event, though there is only so much interest in Batista and Cena as partners when they are likely to be fighting each other in a few weeks. Other than that you have Kane and JBL who are….well they’re not that interesting. There isn’t a big time heel at the moment and odds are that is going to be the GM, which doesn’t have the best track record.

Post match Shane McMahon comes out to announce that the new General Manager is….Mike Adamle. The fans are stunned into silence and it’s made even worse as he announces Cena vs. Batista for Summerslam. The staredown gets almost no reaction as the fans are stunned by the announcement to end the show. If that’s the best they’ve got, this show is in BIG trouble because the silence was almost scary after that announcement.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t a very good show in the first place and then it was made even worse by that terrible reveal at the end. I’m not sure how the best choice is the third show’s dorky/dumb announcer, but I don’t see this ending well. Maybe they have something better planned, but possibly the biggest match at Summerslam getting that kind of a reaction is a very telling sign. The rest of the show was hardly much better, with a bunch of lame stuff and nothing worth seeing. Pretty weak show here, and it isn’t giving me much hope going forward either.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw – July 14, 2008: Crash TV

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 14, 2008
Location: RBC Center, Raleigh, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Somehow it’s been about three months since I’ve done one of these. It’s the last Raw before the Great American Bash and the big match on the Raw side will see Batista challenging CM Punk for the World Title. Other than that, JBL continues to think he runs the show and it’s still not quite interesting. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week, with Batista becoming the #1 contender for CM Punk’s World Title. Then Kane snapped and went all evil (again), this time attacking Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole.

Shane and Stephanie McMahon want us to all pull together to get through the times without Vince McMahon around. If things don’t get better, actions will be taken.

We go to the arena where Shawn Michaels is attacking Chris Jericho before Jericho can say anything. Lance Cade runs in for the save to get Jericho out of harm’s way.

With the three of them gone, here is Kane, complete with a small bag. Kane leans over the commentary table and says he’s sorry as the fans chant for Lawler. Then Kane walks off without getting physical.

In the back, Shawn Michaels has attacked Chris Jericho again and it has to be broken up.

Mickie James vs. Katie Lea

Non-title and Paul Burchill is here with Katie. Mickie grabs some early rollups for two each but the hurricanrana out of the corner is blocked. Katie pulls her around by the hair for two and we hit the reverse chinlock. We’ll make that a regular chinlock but Mickie is right back up. Mickie’s tornado DDT is blocked but now the hurricanrana works. The top rope Thesz press puts Katie away.

Rating: C-. Katie’s time seems to have come and gone, which is a shame as there is always the place for a British villain. Mickie is in need of some fresh challengers as she has been champion for awhile and no one seems to be giving her a threat. Granted that is likely to wind up being Beth Phoenix, as there isn’t anyone else who feels like they are on Mickie’s level.

Post match Paul and Katie go after Mickie until Kofi Kingston makes the save. It would have been rude for him not to make a save after Paul looked over his shoulder that many times.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Paul Burchill

Kingston is defending, the women are still here and we’re joined in progress with Kingston hitting a jumping elbow. A small package gives Kingston two before he grabs an armbar. An armdrag sets up another armbar as they’ve certainly slowed down a bit. Back up and Kofi’s dropkick gets two and it’s right back to the armbar.

Burchill fights up again and kicks him out of the corner for two, setting up a waistlock. A gutbuster and backsplash give Burchill two but Kingston fights out of another waistlock. Kingston’s Russian legsweep sets up the Boom Drop but here is Katie on the apron. That’s broken up by Mickie and Trouble In Paradise retains the title.

Rating: C. This was mostly armbars and waistlocks, which didn’t exactly make for an entertaining match. Other than that it was Kingston beating someone who didn’t feel like much of a threat. That being said, Kingston needs to pile up some wins to make himself feel more like a champion so giving him another win helps as much as anything else.

Santino Marella tells Matt Striker about his open challenge tonight. Cue Kane to ask about CM Punk. Santino: “Did you try the Pepsi machine?”

Post break Kane goes up to CM Punk, saying deep down inside, he knows someone is dead. Punk doesn’t know what is going on but Kane wants him tonight, one on one. Punk isn’t sure but Kane says this isn’t about the title. As usual, Punk is down for a challenge and the match is on. Punk asks about the bag Kane is carrying but Kane clutches it closer and leaves without saying anything.

A serious John Cena talks about how Vince McMahon is not here and he is trying to keep a good face on. Then JBL challenged him to a New York City Parking Lot Brawl and Cena can’t smile anymore. For those of you who don’t know what it’s about, it’s a war instead of a match. The two of them will be fighting in a circle of cars in a parking lot and anything goes. It’s about breaking bones and ripping flesh and we will find out if a man’s pride will fold. The question is why Cena would accept such a challenge but the reality is he and JBL don’t like each other.

Cena is down for one more fight at the Great American Bash because JBL considers himself a great American, which makes Cena sick. He’s happy to try to break some of JBL’s bones and send the face of a great American through every window he can find. Cena wants to see some real fear from JBL because this isn’t a fight with some pretty boy. Extreme violence is promised and here is Cryme Tyme to stand beside Cena, who accepts the challenge. As for tonight, let’s make it a six man with JBL finding any two partners he can.

Santino Marella vs. ???

It’s open challenge time and here is….Beth Phoenix to answer. They fight over a lockup to start until Beth shows him a double bicep. Beth takes him down and hammers away before easily powering out of a headlock. A slam gives Beth two but Santino shouts about being a man, only to miss a charge into the corner. That’s enough for Beth to grab a rollup for the fast pin, leaving Santino rather flummoxed.

Here is Kelly Kelly for a match but Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase interrupt. They know she has a match tonight….but they don’t care so she can leave. Cody talks about how the two of them have gotten a lot of unfair criticisms but they’re not bad guys. They’re just better than their fathers. When you’re this talented, you don’t need to pay dues. Imagine what happens when they enter their primes.

Cue Jim Duggan of all people to interrupt, saying he knows their dads. They’re old school, just like him. The difference is the old school people respected the generations that paved the way for them. DiBiase and Rhodes are better athletes, but they have a lot of growing up to do. Cody says Duggan might be on to something but Cody calls out Duggan for being 54 years old and trying to relive some glory days which weren’t that glorious in the first place.

DiBiase asks if Duggan thinks he still has what it takes anymore, when he’s really just here looking for a reaction. Duggan is the one who needs to grow up, and the two of them leave. JBL pops up on the screen to say they have earned the right to team with him in the main event. They’re in.

CM Punk vs. Kane

Non-title. Kane chokes him into the corner to start but Punk kicks his way to freedom. Punk manages to kick him out to the floor, where Kane cuts off a slide to take over again. The basement dropkick gives Kane two and we hit the cravate. We’ll make that a chinlock until Punk fights up and strikes away. A series of kicks sends Kane into the corner but the bulldog out of it is broken up. Instead Punk hits a heck of a kick to the head for one and a high crossbody gets two. Kane knocks him outside where Punk grabs a bulldog, which is enough to beat the count for the win.

Rating: C+. That was about as good of a way out as they had as Kane is the new monster and Punk is the new champion so there was only so much they could have done. At the same time it might have been better to not make the match in the first place, but at least Punk didn’t lose. Punk is always going to fight from behind and winning by countout is about as good as he can get in this spot.

Post match Kane throws in a bunch of chairs and wraps one around Punk’s neck but Batista makes the save. Batista helps Punk up so Punk offers him a handshake, but Batista wants the title. Batista gives him a not so nice slap on the face so Punk shoves, earning himself a spinebuster.

We look back at John Cena and Cryme Tyme destroying JBL’s limo last week.

Chris Jericho vs. Paul London

Lance Cade is here with Jericho, who pounds London into the corner and hits a running boot to the head. London gets sent outside in a heap before Jericho chokes on the ropes back inside. A spinwheel kick gives London a breather but he misses a high crossbody. Jericho hits a butterfly backbreaker and calls out Shawn Michaels before grabbing the Liontamer for the fast tap.

Post match Jericho says London can take that loss like he would and learn from it, or take it like Shawn Michaels and do nothing. Cue Shawn to say nothing will change between them and teasing more violence.

Jamie Noble hits on Layla, suggesting that they can be the Raw power couple. Layla says she doesn’t date short men but Noble says he’s way above average in the ring. Noble offers to jump the next guy who comes through here so cue Snitsky to tell him to be quiet. Layla isn’t impressed so Noble stands up to Snitsky. Even Layla realizes this is stupid as Noble calls Snitsky out to the ring. They wind up in said ring and a pumphandle slam leaves Noble laying.

We get the Shane/Stephanie McMahon plea for unity from earlier tonight.

Great American Bash rundown.

John Bradshaw Layfield/Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase vs. John Cena/Cryme Tyme

Cena and Rhodes start things off with Cena slugging him into a corner but glaring at JBL. The release fisherman’s suplex drops Cody Rhodes again, setting up another glare. Shad comes in for a release butterfly suplex to DiBiase so it’s back to Rhodes to kick away at JTG. Rhodes makes the mistake of telling JTG to shine his shoes and gets taken down with a Sling Blade for his troubles.

JBL comes in and is smart enough to taunt Cena in, meaning we get some double choking in the corner. JTG’s comeback is cut off by a dropkick to the knee and the villains get to take over on said knee. The leglock goes on and we take a break with JTG in more trouble. Back with JBL hitting a hard clothesline and the slow beating continuing.

Rhodes goes old school with a spinning toehold until JTG kicks him away, which still isn’t enough to get over for the tag. JTG finally gets away and brings Cena back in to pick the pace way up. JBL bails and it’s an FU to DiBiase into the Throwback to Rhodes. Cena’s top rope Fameasser hits Rhodes but JBL is back to break up the STFU…for the DQ. That’s a pretty lame reason for a DQ but sure enough. Even Lawler doesn’t seem sure why that was a DQ.

Rating: C-. This was slow and not exactly good, with the ending feeling like a rather pitiful way out. It’s not a good sign when commentary is confused about what happened, even when it should have been pretty clear. I get that you don’t want a champion jobbing, but JBL couldn’t have used a chair or something a little more violent? Other than that, it was a rather long heat segment on JTG and that wasn’t the most thrilling way to go.

Post match JBL walks off and taunts Cena to follow him to the back. Cena gives chase and realizes he has to go into the parking lot (where a camera happens to be waiting). Then he stands around a lot in total silence until JBL finally jumps him from behind with something metal. JBL sits the unconscious Cena in front of a car and crushes him, then gets out and realizes what he’s done to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I wasn’t quite thrilled with this show as the focus was on Cena vs. JBL, which hasn’t been an interesting feud in a long time. The World Champion feels like a third wheel behind the battling John’s and Shawn vs. Jericho. There is some good stuff going on closer to the top of the card, but my goodness the lower part of the show isn’t exactly holding the rest of it up.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – July 7, 2008: Hurry Up So They Can Bash

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 7, 2008
Location: New Orleans Arena, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s probably not a good sign that I haven’t done one of these in so long that I barely remember what is going on. The big story is CM Punk cashing in Money In The Bank last week on Edge to win the World Heavyweight Championship, bringing a World Title to Raw. We’re also on the way to the Bash and that is going to need a card. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Punk winning the title and his first title defense against JBL last week. JBL declaring martial law is not exactly the most interesting idea, and John Cena/Cryme Tyme seem to agree.

Stephanie McMahon asks everyone to pull together in Vince McMahon’s absence.

Here is Vickie Guerrero in the ring to get things going. She is here to protest CM Punk being the World Heavyweight Champion and is not leaving until the title is surrendered to her. An apology is demanded and here is Punk to respond. Vickie yells at him and says Edge is so close to falling apart that he has called off their wedding! Punk says he probably did them a favor and explains the Money In The Bank concept. Maybe Vickie can find someone cute on Smackdown, like the Great Khali! Vickie stands up and slaps him, so Punk wheels her into the corner.

Cue JBL in his limo to interrupt and say Punk’s reign is coming to an end. JBL challenges for the title, saying Vince McMahon would give him the shot. Punk brings up that Vince isn’t here, but John Cena certainly is. Cena mocks JBL for blaming a variety of things on not being champion and doesn’t really want to hear about it. Maybe Cena should listen to Punk, who shakes Cena’s hand.

In reality, there is no one in charge around here, so we need to figure out Punk’s next challenger. Cena thinks he and JBL should have some kind of #1 contenders match, but here is Batista who wants in as well. Batista says Punk deserves the title after last week and also says hi to Vickie, who made him miserable on Smackdown. He feels sorry for her…but nah, because he really can’t stand her.

As for the title, Punk cashed in after Batista took Edge out but JBL cuts Batista off instead. Cena calms things down by suggesting a triple threat #1 contenders match tonight. JBL doesn’t like it so Cena says that means JBL is out entirely. That gets JBL in the triple threat, but now it’s Kane interrupting. He wants in too so Punk thinks we have a fatal four way. And that’s finally it!

Rey Mysterio vs. Santino Marella

Rey sends him into the corner to start but a faceplant gives Marella a breather. A camel clutch is broken up but Rey misses a 619, only to knock Santino down without much effort. Rey hits a jumping double stomp of all things and the 619 into the top rope splash gives Rey the fast pin.

CM Punk is…interrupted when a light falls down. Anyway, he’ll face anyone but Snitsky of all people comes in to say he wants a fight. Works for Punk.

John Cena and Mickie James are talking about last night when Kelly Kelly comes up to talk about their tag match. Cena is amazed that Kelly got out of her ECW contract, but apparently it didn’t exist.

Kelly Kelly/Mickie James vs. Jillian Hall/Layla

Jillian grabs Mickie’s arm to start and is quickly pulled into a headlock. Kelly comes in with a sunset flip for two and a hurricanrana gets the same. Layla gets in a cheap shot though and Jillian rams Kelly’s face into the mat over and over. They go to the corner and Kelly manages a victory roll for the fast pin.

Rating: C. This was about all you could expect from this match as Mickie was barely involved. It seems that Kelly might be the next in line to get a push but she is going to need a lot of work in the ring to really make that happen. She has to start somewhere though and the whole gymnast thing can get her at least a few steps forward.

Here is JBL’s limo…with JBL walking beside it. He can’t open the doors….so here is John Cena, holding a crowbar, to pop out instead. Cena says Louisiana has strict laws involving limousines and this one will never pass inspection. Fortunately for JBL, Cena knows two guys who can help get parts quick. We hear about some of those limo laws, with Cryme Tyme (carrying some large bats/pipes) helping to fix the limo up a bit. One more thing though: it needs a custom paint job! Spray painting ensues as a bonus. Cena: “Fine work by the Cryme Tyme Body Shop. It is sure worth the drive.”

We look at the cash-in again.

CM Punk vs. Snitsky

Non-title. Punk strikes away to start but dives into a bearhug, allowing Snitsky to drive him into the corner. Snitsky’s elbow gets two and the bearhug goes on again. More strikes get Punk out of trouble again and the running knee in the corner sets up a bulldog. The GTS gives Punk the pin.

Video on Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho, with Michaels’ eye being heavily damaged.

Here is Michaels to say he accepts Jericho’s challenge for the Great American Bash. Cue Jericho with Lance Cade, with Jericho saying he knew Michaels would accept. Michaels can’t help himself because all of the beatings haven’t taught him anything. Now Michaels is going to get beaten up again, even though he’s just another legend fighting for one more chance. Does Michaels want to be a martyr for all of these people? Are they going to pay for him if he loses everything?

Like every other martyr, Michaels is going to be swept underneath the rug and forgotten. Michaels talks about how he could leave wrestling today and be remembered forever. No matter what he has done, the fans seem to keep giving him a pass. Jericho doesn’t think that’s fair, but Michaels talks about what Jericho has done in his career. In spite of all that though, Jericho will never have peace because he will never be Michaels. And there’s the core of the story and that makes the story so much better.

Kofi Kingston vs. Charlie Haas

Non-title. Haas grabs a headlock to start but can’t get very far as Kofi strikes away. A cravate with knees to the face have Kingston down for two and we hit the chinlock. Kofi fights up with some dropkicks into the Boom Drop and the spinning kick to the face finishes Haas off in a hurry.

Rating: C. Not much to this one as they only had a few minutes. It doesn’t help that Haas hasn’t meant anything in a long time now so there was only so much drama about anything happening. I’m sure Kingston will get an opponent worthy of a title shot soon enough, but that isn’t Haas right now and they didn’t treat him as anything else.

Post match Paul Burchill runs in and lays Kingston out.

Batista is walking….and a fan randomly runs in to do his pose before running off again.

Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield vs. John Cena vs. Kane

For the World Title shot at the Great American Bash. The brawl starts fast with JBL booting Cena down for an early two. All four of them slug it out and we take an early break. Back with Kane elbowing Cena in the face and ripping at said face in the corner. Batista hits a spinebuster for two on JBL with Kane making the save and planting Batista with a chokeslam. JBL breaks up the FU to Kane and everyone is left down.

It’s Cena up first to clean house, including an FU to Batista for two. We take another break and come back again with Kane breaking up the Shuffle to JBL. Batista starts cleaning house and kicks a downed Kane in the face. The Clothesline From JBL hits Batista but Cena pulls JBL into the STFU. That’s broken up so Cena and JBL double team Kane down. Everyone but Cena fight to the floor, with Kane knocking JBL over the barricade. Back in and Batista spears Kane for the fast pin and the title shot.

Rating: B-. This wasn’t some kind of a classic or anything but they kept things moving here and it made for an entertaining match as a result. I had fun with this and giving Batista the title shot is an interesting way to go. Punk vs. JBL isn’t interesting, Cena would be an overwhelming favorite over Punk and Kane doesn’t feel like a World Title challenger. That leaves Batista as the just right choice and he got there in an entertaining fight.

Post match Batista leaves so Kane can snap and beat up people working at ringside. Kane yells at commentary and drags Cole inside, telling Cole to ANSWER ME. Jerry Lawler chop blocks Kane to save Cole but gets beaten up to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. They don’t have much time to get ready for the Great American Bash at this point so moving rather quickly like this is a good idea. The World Title match is now set and Michaels vs. Jericho got a nice boost. This show felt like it got some things done in the span of two hours and that is not something you often see with Raw. Good enough show here, as the Bash is coming together rather quickly.

 

 

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Survivor Series 2007 (2022 Redo): A Little Top Heavy

Survivor Series 2007
Date: November 18, 2007
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Tazz, Joey Styles

It is pretty rare when you have a true one match card but that is what we have here, as Batista is defending the Smackdown World Title against the Undertaker inside the Cell. There might be a few other things going on here, but that has been treated as the be all and end all of the show, as it should be. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the history of the Survivor Series before we move on to this year’s preview.

ECW World Title: Miz vs. John Morrison vs. CM Punk

Punk is defending and for the sake of sanity, I’ll only refer to him as champion. It’s a brawl to start with Punk getting double teamed down into the corner. Morrison catapults Punk into the corner but he comes out with a middle rope crossbody. Punk knocks Miz to the floor but the springboard clothesline is broken up to put Punk down again. Miz breaks up Punk’s springboard with a shot to the floor though and it’s a camel clutch to Punk.

That means Morrison comes in for the save, setting up a backbreaker into a neckbreaker to drop Punk again. A suplex from the apron gets two on Miz but he is right back with a running corner clothesline. Punk is back in with a hurricanrana to send Morrison into Miz for a powerbomb and a near fall. The running knee in the corner sets up the corner bulldog to give Punk two on Miz and a double underhook backbreaker onto the knee gets the same. Morrison is back up to go after Miz, only to be sent outside. That leaves Punk to GTS Miz and retain.

Rating: C+. Miz and Morrison’s rise continues as the two of them have become rather dependable on ECW, and now elsewhere. It makes sense to give them the Tag Team Titles and now we should be seeing even more of them. This was a good way to get the show going as Punk has to work to retain and Miz and Morrison have come far enough that they didn’t seem like cannon fodder.

We look at MVP turning on Matt Hardy, costing the two of them the Tag Team Titles.

MVP says Matt will not be wrestling tonight because he can’t walk. He is tired of being Matt’s latest crutch and he is better than any of his opponents tonight.

Beth Phoenix/Melina/Jillian Hall/Layla/Victoria vs. Kelly Kelly/Michelle McCool/Mickie James/Maria/Torrie Wilson

One fall to a finish rather than elimination rules. Michelle suplexes Victoria to start and then kicks her in the face for two. Torrie comes in and gets swung into the side slam, only to come back with a suplex. It’s off to Jillian vs. Kelly, with the latter grabbing a rollup for two of her own. Phoenix comes in and plants Maria but a missed charge allows the hot tag to James to clean house. Everything breaks down and Mickie hits the Long Kiss Goodnight to finish Melina.

Rating: D+. What else were you expecting here? It was a bunch of the good women vs. the bad women and there is only so much you’re going to get from a match like that. They didn’t have time to do anything and given some of the skill levels of the women involved, that is not a bad idea. The positive sign is that the women are making progress, but a lot of them still aren’t ready to be in a match like this. Leave this thing to Raw.

William Regal and Coach are ready to see Hornswoggle get crushed by Great Khali.

Randy Orton is ready to disappoint everyone and break the Heart Break Kid.

Shawn Michaels wants revenge. And the title.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes

Holly and Rhodes are challenging. Rhodes and Cade start things off with Cade grabbing a hiptoss for some early celebrating. A sunset flip gives Cody one and the headlock goes on. That just earns Cody a backbreaker to cut him off so it’s off to Murdoch for a change. Cody takes him into the corner and it’s Holly coming in to forearm away. The hanging kick to the low abdomen has Cade in trouble and the champs need a breather on the floor.

Back in and it’s an atomic drop into a running boot to Holly’s face as Murdoch takes over again. Cade atomic drops Murdoch into a legdrop on Cody for two more and we’re off to the chinlock. Holly suplexes his way out of trouble but Cade is right there with a clothesline. The second atomic drop/legdrop misses though and it’s Cody coming in to very little reaction to clean house. Everything breaks down and Murdoch Code Reds Cody to retain.

Rating: C-. This would have been fine on any given Raw, meaning it was a pretty disappointing pay per view match. Cade and Murdoch are fine as champions and Rhodes and Holly are getting there as a veteran/rookie team, but they aren’t ready for this kind of a match on pay per view. It was far from bad, but this match was sent out there to die and I think WWE knew that was going to happen.

Team HHH, which is down a man due to Matt Hardy’s knee injury, is ready for Team Umaga. Rey Mysterio talks about being an underdog, but that has never been Kane’s thing. Kane brings up the Katie Vick incident (and goes into details). Then Jeff Hardy reminds HHH of the time he put Jeff in the hospital. HHH: “Uh, my bad.” HHH says this is the night when they can come together and do something terrible, so let’s go do it.

Team Umaga vs. Team HHH

Umaga, Mr. Kennedy, Finlay, Big Daddy V, MVP
HHH, Jeff Hardy, Kane, Rey Mysterio

Matt Striker is here with Big Daddy V. Rey and Kennedy get things going and it’s an early exchange of arm cranking. A running headscissors takes Kennedy down and a Code Red gives Rey two (so based on the previous match, Trevor Murdoch is better at Code Redding than Rey Mysterio). Hardy comes in and gets blasted by Kennedy so MVP comes in for a front facelock.

It’s off to V and the big beatdown ensues, only to have Hardy dive over for the tag to Kane. V belly to belly suplexes him down but Kane is right back up with a top rope clothesline. That doesn’t seem to bother V though as he hits a pair of drops (Samoan and elbow) for the elimination. HHH comes in to slug away on V but a clothesline puts him straight down. Umaga comes in with a belly to belly of his own but misses the middle rope headbutt.

That means Rey can come back in and the basement dropkick gets a quick two. The 619 into the springboard seated senton for two more but the springboard crossbody is countered into a wicked release Rock Bottom. The Samoan Spike gets rid of Rey and it’s 5-2. Kennedy tags himself in for some reason and misses a charge into the corner. Hardy misses the slingshot dropkick in the corner though and it’s MVP coming in with a chinlock. MVP misses a running kick though and the Twist of Fate gives Hardy a fast elimination.

HHH comes back in for a clothesline on Kennedy and the spinebuster follows. V comes in for the save but elbows Kennedy by mistake, allowing HHH to steal the pin. That doesn’t work for V, who pulls HHH outside and posts Hardy for a bonus. Back in and a double DDT plants V and HHH evens it up at 2-2.

Finlay starts dropping elbows on HHH before dropping some elbows on HHH. Back up and HHH makes it over for the tag without much effort and Hardy comes in with the slingshot dropkick in the corner. The Whisper in the Wind hit Finlay and the mule kick hits Umaga, allowing HHH to come back in. There’s the spinebuster to Finlay and the Pedigree leaves us with HHH/Hardy vs. Umaga. HHH avoids the running hip attack in the corner and it’s the Pedigree into the Swanton for the final pin.

Rating: B-. Not one of the all time classic Survivor Series matches but they set up HHH and Hardy as a pair of buzzsaws to run through the rest of the team. The HHH vs. Umaga feud has been pretty much decided multiple times now so the ending wasn’t exactly in doubt. This was more or less the Raw main event and it could have been worse, but I could have gone for a lot better for the one elimination match on the show.

We get a preview of Batista vs. Undertaker with a look at their Cell match in Smackdown vs. Raw 2008. Why Batista is wearing a Tag Team Title to the ring isn’t clear.

Vince McMahon sits down with Hornswoggle to explain why he made the match with Great Khali for tonight. Some people think that it is because Vince hates him, but it is really because he wants Hornswoggle to rise up like the McMahons do. Vince has been an underdog against Time Warner and the US government and he won. Now go win against Great Khali.

Great Khali vs. Hornswoggle

Shane McMahon comes out to introduce Vince McMahon and then Hornswoggle for some family flavor. We even get an old school explanation of the rules as the fans want Shaquille O’Neal (in the front row) to help Hornswoggle, but Vince grabs the mic and says he doesn’t care what the fans want. Hornswoggle kicks the knee and then dropkicks Runjin Singh through the ropes. The green mist sets up some right hands but Khali chases Hornswoggle off. The distraction lets Hornswoggle grab the shillelagh but Vince takes it away. Khali loads up the Vice Grip, only to have Finlay come in for the DQ.

Rating: D. What is there to say about something like this? The match was a segment instead of anything competitive and that is all it was ever going to be. At the end of the day, the Hornswoggle/Vince story has run out of steam and adding Finlay into the mix isn’t likely to make things that much better. Maybe they can shift things around, but Vince needs to be on to something else.

Post match Finlay destroys Khali with the shillelagh and a low blow, allowing Hornswoggle to escape.

Wrestlemania XXIV is in Orlando.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels for the Raw World Title. Michaels came back in September and went after Orton, who had put him on the shelf. Orton kept getting superkicked but got disqualified last month. Now Michaels wants revenge but can’t use the superkick. If he does, the match is instantly over, but if Orton tries to get disqualified, he loses the title.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels is challenging and we even get a weapons check. Feeling out process with Michaels grabbing a cravate of all things to start. Orton can’t even slam his way out of the cravate but he can drive Shawn into the corner for some right hands. Michaels is right back with a choke on the back before switching to a front facelock as you can feel the anger and hatred here.

Back up and Orton is sent outside, with Shawn hitting an Asai moonsault to take him down. They get back inside with Shawn grabbing a…..wait for it…..Sharpshooter. Orton makes the rope and gets in a poke to the eye, setting up the hanging DDT for two. Shawn fights up and slugs it out, setting up the forearm. More right hands have Orton in trouble but he’s right back with a dropkick for two.

Some slams give Michaels a breather and the top rope elbow looks to set up Sweet Chin Music. That’s a head fake though and they trade some rollups for two each. Michaels grabs a Crossface instead but Orton gets a foot on the rope. The backbreaker cuts Michaels off again but he counters the Punt into an ankle lock of all things. The grapevine goes on in the middle, only to have Orton kick his way to freedom. Michaels’ Figure Four attempt is countered with a kick into the post so he teases the superkick but gets RKOed to retain Orton’s title.

Rating: B. Pretty good here, but the amount of stipulations they had going on made it a little difficult to believe that they were going to change the title here. Shawn not using the superkick at the end looked a bit awkward though and the ending only worked so well. They had a good match otherwise though, which has to be expected when it’s Shawn vs. Orton getting time.

Post match Orton talks trash to Shawn and gets superkicked.

SAVE US!

The Cell is lowered.

We recap Batista vs. Undertaker for Batista’s Smackdown World Title. They’ve fought several times this year and Batista finally beat him for the first time last month. Now it’s the big final showdown inside the Cell.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

Batista is defending inside the Cell. They start fast with Batista hitting a hard clothesline but having to elbow his way out of a chokeslam attempt. Undertaker punches him into the corner and hits Snake Eyes into the running big boot. The chair is brought in but Batista spears him down. Undertaker’s clothesline gets two this time and they head outside with Undertaker hammering away.

A face rake against the Cell sets up a chair to the throat has Batista in a lot of trouble so Undertaker chairs him in the ribs for two. Old School is countered into a spinebuster (that was cool) for a delayed two and it’s time to slug it out again. Batista’s running powerslam gets two and they head outside with Undertaker getting blasted with a clothesline. Undertaker is fine enough to whip him into the steps and now a chair to the head has Batista busted open.

Old School is broken up again and Batista hits a superplex but Undertaker pulls him into the triangle choke. Since we’re in the Cell, the rope breaks the hold (erg) and they head outside again. This time Batista hits him in the face with the steps and now Undertaker is busted open too. Back in and a chokeslam gives Undertaker two but the Tombstone is countered into another spinebuster for another near fall.

It’s table time, with Batista tossing him through it for two more. The Batista Bomb onto the steps is countered into a backdrop onto the steps. Undertaker plants him with the chokeslam for two, followed by another onto the steps….and a cameraman breaks it up. That’s because the cameraman is Edge, who cameras Undertaker in the head. A Conchairto on the steps knocks Undertaker silly and Edge puts Batista (who saw nothing) on top to retain.

Rating: B+. These two beat the heck out of each other and it felt like a war, with the Edge interference being a great surprise to give them a back door out of the match. What mattered here is they kept things high impact here, which is exactly what these two do best. Let them go in there and hit all their power stuff until one of them can’t get up, which granted was due to some help in this case. You can all but guarantee the triple threat next month and that is a fresh way to go, so nicely done.

Post match, Edge takes Undertaker down again and leaves to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The main events carry the show, but there is a really big gap between the top of the card and everything else. Even the third biggest match on the show doesn’t feel that important as the whole show was built around Batista vs. Undertaker. The show was a fun enough watch, but outside of the main event, it doesn’t feel like a lot of this matters in the long run.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown – June 20, 2008: Please Don’t Do A Sequel

Smackdown
Date: June 20, 2008
Location: HP Pavilion, San Jose, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Mick Foley

We’re coming up on Night Of Champions and Edge vs. Batista for the Smackdown World Title is already set. That alone should cover the Smackdown side of things but there are still a few other matches that could be added to the show. In addition, we are coming up on the Draft next week so things are going to be shaken up again. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with MVP in the VIP Lounge. MVP gets straight to the point by talking about the Draft, where EVERYONE can be sent to another show. He’s cool with going anywhere because he gets paid anywhere he goes. Maybe the people around here just don’t pay attention to his talents because they’re too busy getting married.

Cue Vickie Guerrero and the Edgeheads, with Vickie saying she doesn’t need this kind of treatment before her wedding. Last week, MVP beat CM Punk like he was supposed to but Vickie says that he didn’t take Punk out. Not that it matters, as Vickie backed out of their contract negotiations. Maybe MVP just doesn’t want to be here, but Vickie doesn’t have time for this. Therefore, tonight MVP can face Kane.

Matt Hardy vs. Bam Neely

Non-title and Chavo Guerrero is here with Neely. The bigger Neely knocks him into the corner to start as Cole says Neely calls himself the One Man Fence. With that stupid name out of the way, Matt gets dropped throat first across the top for two and we hit the chinlock. This lets Cole hype Million Dollar Mania and brag about the ratings success.

Matt fights up but can’t get the Side Effect, instead allowing Neely to kick him in the face for two. The chinlock with a bodyscissors goes on but Matt jawbreaks his way to freedom. Neely charges into a raised boot in the corner and a middle rope bulldog gives Matt two. Chavo offers a distraction though, only to be ejected almost immediately. Matt grabs the Twist of Fate for the fast pin.

Rating: C. This was a good example of why Neely wasn’t put in the ring very often, as this wasn’t exactly a great match. Neely is just a big guy with a slightly intimidating bald head but that’s about all there is for his strong points. Matt vs. Chavo should at least be better, but Chavo is only so interesting in the first place.

Video on Edge vs. Batista.

Post break Chavo Guerrero yells about the referee to Edge but Edge needs him to do something tonight: face Batista.

Michelle McCool vs. Layla

Foley reads a song he wrote about Michelle, which sounds a lot like Sweet Child Of Mine. Layla knocks her down to start and we’re off to the early chinlock. A legdrop gives Layla two and we’re back to the chinlock as Natalya comes out to watch. Michelle kicks her way out of trouble and hits a clothesline into a dropkick. A belly to belly gives Michelle two before a heel hook makes Layla tap.

Rating: C. Michelle continues to get better in the ring and has clearly put in the effort to become a more well rounded star. You might as well pencil her in for the Night Of Champions match against Natalya, as at least these women will have something to fight over after all this time. Layla continues to have the attitude, but there isn’t anything to back that up in the ring.

Edge comes in to Vickie Guerrero’s office and asks Alicia Fox to leave so they can talk about the wedding. Referee Charles Robinson comes in and Vickie yells at him for biased officiating, including ejecting Chavo Guerrero earlier tonight. That’s why he’ll be in the ring later. As a wrestler.

Vladimir Kozlov vs. Jamie Noble

Noble’s single leg doesn’t work as Kozlov wrestles him down without much trouble. Kozlov throws him around again as Foley gives us a history of Sambo, following Kozlov forcing him to read a book about it. A Guillotine choke slows Kozlov down for a change but he drives Noble into the corner for the break. Noble fights up but Kozlov headbutts him out of the air without much effort for the win.

Rating: C. They’re bringing Kozlov along slowly but logically, as he gets to beat a slightly bigger name, which should mean he wants some bigger competition soon. That should open up some more interesting doors for him, though he still isn’t exactly the most interesting monster villain in the world. That headbutt does look good though.

Kane vs. MVP

Non-title. Kane uppercuts him down to start and drops a fast elbow but gets caught in a headscissors of all things. Back up and Kane hits another uppercut and a powerslam gets two. MVP’s running boot in the corner gets the same and we hit the neck crank. Kane gets up and hits a side slam into the top rope clothesline but it’s too early for the chokeslam. Instead Kane shoves him out to the floor….where MVP just takes the countout.

Rating: C+. Somehow that might be the best match of the night here as Kane continues his dominance of MVP in a long running story. Other than that though, there wasn’t much to be seen here as they mainly stayed on the mat until Kane got fired up near the end. MVP seems to be stepping up a bit though and it’s nice to see that include a countout instead of taking a pin.

Post match Mark Henry comes in to lay out Kane.

Chavo Guerrero wishes a confused Charles Robinson luck.

Video on WWE’s work with Make-A-Wish.

Charles Robinson vs. Great Khali

Robinson tries to run but the Edgeheads throw him back inside for the bell. There’s the chop but Khali picks him up at two. Then he does it a few more times before finishing with the vice.

Robinson does a stretcher job.

Deuce N Domino vs. Jesse And Festus

Yes again. Festus wrecks them at the bell so Deuce N Domino brawl with each other on the floor. Deuce sends Domino back inside so the destruction can be completed. The fireman’s carry flapjack finishes Domino in a hurry.

Post match Deuce lays Domino out again.

We look at Hornswoggle and Finlay getting a Tag Team Title shot on ECW and Finlay laying out Miz.

Finlay vs. Miz

Hornswoggle and John Morrison are here too, with the latter joining commentary. Finlay grabs a headlock takeover to start and then runs him over with a clothesline for two. Back up and Miz manages to get in a kick to the ribs before knocking Finlay outside for a change. Miz stomps away back inside and we hit the cravate. That doesn’t last long as Finlay fights back and hits the running seated senton. Morrison goes after Hornswoggle, but it distracts Miz by mistake. That’s enough for Finlay to hit the Celtic Cross for the pin.

Rating: C. This hasn’t been a banner night for in-ring action and that was the case again here, with a mostly boring match to set up a Tag Team Title match that is only so interesting in the first place. Hornswoggle and Finlay are certainly fresh challengers though and that is one of the best things that could happen to the titles at the moment.

Mission Dollar Mania recap.

Night Of Champions rundown.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Batista

Bam Neely is here with Chavo. Hold on though as here is Vickie Guerrero to make Edge the guest referee and if Batista touches him, there’s no title match. Chavo’s headlock doesn’t get him very far as Batista shoulders him down without much effort. Batista cranks on the arm in the corner and grabs a Jackhammer for a very delayed two.

Edge even trips Batista down as they’re not bothering with the subtle stuff here. Neely gets in some choking but Chavo gets pulled out of the air. That earns Batista another trip from Edge so Chavo can get two and the chinlock goes on. Batista fires up and hits a backdrop into a powerslam, only to have Neely pull him outside for a one second countout.

Rating: C+. This was more a storyline advancement than much of a match and that’s the best way to go with something like this one. Batista continues to have to work to finally get his hands on Edge at the end of the road and that can take some time. They’re doing well enough here, and now Batista is going to be furious with just one Smackdown left before Night Of Champions.

Post match La Familia comes in to beat Batista down. Edge hits a spear to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Not much of a show here, as Night Of Champions has one noteworthy Smackdown match and that is all but set. Other than that, there isn’t much to do here and the wrestling wasn’t much better. Hopefully things change a bit next week, because another show like this one sounds very, very tiring. Not a bad show, but a completely skippable one.

 

 

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ECW On Sci Fi – June 17, 2008: My ECW For A Draft

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: June 17, 2008
Location: HP Pavilion, San Jose, California
Commentators: Mike Adamle, Tazz

Things are still kind of sluggish around here, as we have Big Show set to challenge for the ECW Title but he has barely interacted with champion Kane whatsoever. Instead, Kane and CM Punk are still feuding with Miz and John Morrison, which isn’t exactly interesting stuff. Maybe they’ll find something new in next week’s Draft but that is still a long way off. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Hornswoggle vs. Armando Estrada

No Finlay here with Hornswoggle for a change. The chase is on to start until Hornswoggle whips out a bag of marbles to make Estrada slip. Hornswoggle whips out a rubber mallet before running underneath the ring and escaping to the other side. Cue Finlay with a water gun, allowing Hornswoggle to hit a dive off the apron. Back in and the Tadpole Splash gives Hornswoggle the fast pin.

Post match Tazz asks Finlay what is under the ring. Finlay says leprechauns, hobbits and even people Tazz’s size. Tazz didn’t seem to see that coming so we’ll wrap it up there.

Layla danced during the break.

Evan Bourne vs. Matt Striker

Striker sends him to the apron to start and even catches Bourne in a top rope hanging DDT for two. The cravate goes on for a bit before Bourne fights up. What might have been a low blow cuts Bourne off but he gets his feet up in the corner. Bourne pulls himself up top and hits a shooting star press for the fast pin.

Post match Mike Knox runs in to hit Bourne with the spinning Downward Spiral.

Mike Knox vs. Kofi Kingston

Knox goes with the power to start but Kofi gets some boots up in the corner. It doesn’t really matter though as Knox throws him down and cranks on both arms at once. Kofi kicks his way to freedom and hits a dropkick, followed by the Boom Drop. Cue Shelton Benjamin to jump Kofi for the DQ. Well that was quick.

Post match the brawl is on but Shelton Dragon Whips Knox down by mistake.

Long look at this week’s Million Dollar Mania.

Finlay and Hornswoggle are in Teddy Long/Tiffany’s office for a contract signing. They sign, and get a Tag Team Title shot at Night Of Champions. Granted Hornswoggle signs with a big green marker and then goes after Finlay. That’s broken up but here is Miz to be incredulous about the title shot. Finlay drops him with a single shot.

CM Punk vs. John Morrison

Punk kicks away to start so Morrison hits him in the face. A high kick to the head gives Punk two but Morrison sends him into the ropes. Morrison grabs an arm and leg on the mat for some cranking. Back up and Morrison drives him into the corner, setting up a crank on the other arm and leg. Morrison drapes him over the top rope to stay on the ribs, followed by the seated abdominal stretch.

Punk fights up and tries the GTS but the ribs go out, allowing Morrison to drop him again. The bodyscissors goes on but Punk reverses into a giant swing of all things. Punk’s ribs are fine enough to snap off a powerslam and they’re both down for a bit. Morrison knees him in the face for two and loads up a springboard, only to dive into the GTS to give Punk the pin.

Rating: C+. It was nice to have a match that actually got a little bit of time here and Punk and Morrison’s chemistry made it that much better. I’m not sure if we need to keep going with Punk going after the titles, but at least they had a nice main event here. Punk is ready to go from ECW though and there is a good chance that the Draft will take care of that.

Post match Miz pops up to say Morrison is still a Tag Team Champion.

Teddy Long brings out Big Show and Kane for a showdown as this match is suddenly remembered. Show talks about their history together and promises to take the title again. Kane says Show has no idea what is coming for him but Show talks about how crazy he knows Kane is. Cue Mark Henry to say they better hope he gets drafted elsewhere, or he’s coming for the winner. Henry gets double chokeslammed to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Well that was quite the nothing show. I get that we are coming up on the Draft and the Show vs. Kane match, but this was a bunch of nothing until a good enough main event. I’m not sure how anyone thought this was a show worth presenting, but at least they should be shaking things up after next week.

 

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Monday Night Raw – June 16, 2008: Mama KB’s Birthday Bonanza

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 16, 2008
Location: E-Center, Salt Lake City, Utah
Attendance: 11,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s night two of Million Dollar Mania, which is likely going to mean a lot of sitting around while Vince McMahon talks on the phone. Other than that, we’re on the way towards Night Of Champions and things are heating up between John Cena and HHH. We’re also a week away from the Draft and that means things are going to be shaken up soon. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is John Cena to get things going. Cena talks about how much he loves WWE and how there are moments that transcend time. Moments like Hulk Hogan slamming Andre the Giant, Shawn Michaels’ boyhood dream coming true, and the first time Steve Austin beat someone up. We are (less than) two weeks away from another one of those moments, when he defeats HHH at Night Of Champions to become WWE Champion.

Cue HHH to say this isn’t personal but he’s not sure how much he believes that. Last week, Cena cost HHH a match with Jeff Hardy. If that happens again, this is going to get really personal really fast. Cena brings up HHH knocking him off the announcers’ table last week but HHH knew he would fall off on his own anyway. We hear about HHH tapping at Wrestlemania, with HHH pointing out that IT WAS TWO YEARS AGO.

Cena says HHH may be champion, but until he beats Cena, it doesn’t matter. HHH mocks Cena for being a favorite of younger fans and THAT is enough to make Cena want to fight. A referee comes in but here is Vince McMahon to says not so fast, because this is about giving away money. As for the people in the ring, Cena is in a match right now.

John Cena vs. Umaga

Street fight. Cena tries a sunset lip of all things before going for the slam, with Umaga falling down on him instead. Umaga knocks him hard off the apron and we take a break. Back with Cena charging into a Samoan drop on the ramp but the running hip attack only hits post. Cena hits him with the microphone (there had to be better options) but Umaga plants him with the spinning Rock Bottom for two.

Umaga grabs a chair but Cena takes it away and puts him down instead. The Throwback and top rope Fameasser connect, only to have Cena fall down when trying the FU. A whip into the steps keeps Cena down so Umaga brings the steps inside, only to have Cena reverse into the FU for the pin.

Rating: C+. These two had some great chemistry together at one point and it was still there to a certain extent, but Umaga has fallen a very long way since the old days. Cena got a little something out of a win over the monster though and that was the point. I’m sure HHH will have a match of his own later on as it’s a good way to make both he and Cena look like stars.

Vince McMahon calls a fan and makes him bark like a dog, which is good for $125,000.

And now, a bikini contest between Maria, Eve Torres, Jillian Hall, Lena Yada, Layla, Melina and Maryse, with Charlie Haas of all people hosting. They all disrobe (well not Jillian, who would rather sing), get fifteen seconds each, and Maria wins.

Vince, money, $100,000, though the fan from North Carolina says Ric Flair is the most handsome man ever from the state. Vince lets him have the money anyway.

We look back at Chris Jericho injuring Shawn Michaels’ eye.

Jim Duggan comes out (both he and the 2×4 are in tuxedos) to help Vince McMahon give away $50,000 but the call goes to voicemail. Vince mocks the fan for blowing it so another fan wins instead.

Jeff Hardy vs. Carlito

Jeff starts fast by sending him outside for the slingshot dive. Back in and Carlito catches him in the ropes for the hanging swinging suplex. We hit the chinlock with a knee in Hardy’s back but it’s broken up rather quickly. Jeff misses a dropkick to give Carlito two but he’s right back with a jawbreaker to send Carlito flying. The Whisper In The Wind gets two and there’s the sitout gordbuster. The Twist of Fate into the Swanton finishes Carlito off.

Rating: B-. Nice match here, though they didn’t have much time to get very far. The interesting thing here though is that Hardy seems ready to move up to the main event scene. Last week he beat HHH and this week he gets a nice win over Carlito. He’s too big to be in the Intercontinental Title scene, so there isn’t much left for him to go but move up the ladder again. That could be a big deal, and we should be on the way.

Vince, $175,000 this time, but the fan has to sing part of the National Anthem.

Here is Chris Jericho to explain attacking Shawn Michaels last week because everyone has been getting on him about it. We see a clip of the attack and then Jericho blames the fans for changing. It wasn’t his fault that any of this had to happen but the fans are blaming him anyway. That means the fans don’t deserve to be saved anymore and he doesn’t need want them to cheer him anyway. They must want Shawn to come out here right now but it’s not going to happen.

Cue Ric Flair to interrupt and get in Jericho’s face to tell him to shut up. No he can’t wrestle anymore, but they can go to the parking lot and have a fight right now. They start heading to the back but Jericho runs into HHH, who thinks Jericho has been doing enough. Ever since Jericho came back, HHH has been wanting to make Jericho his business and now he wants a fight. Jericho backs down though and we take a break. Back with Flair still wanting to fight but Vince McMahon comes in to have him escorted out. Instead, Vince makes HHH vs. Jericho for tonight.

Cody Rhodes/Hardcore Holly vs. Cryme Tyme

Non-title. Ted DiBiase comes out to offer a distraction….and Holly rolls JTG up for the pin in about ten seconds. Well at least they didn’t lose again.

Vince, $16 to a North Carolina fan in honor of the 16 time World Champion Ric Flair.

Paul Burchill/Katie Lea vs. Mr. Kennedy/Mickie James

This Kennedy vs. Burchill feud needs to wrap up already if they want Kennedy to be something. Kennedy starts fast with a backdrop and stomps away in the corner. Burchill isn’t having that and pulls him into a chinlock before grinding a forearm into Kennedy’s face. Back up and Kennedy hits a running boot in the corner but Katie tags herself in. The fight with Mickie is on with Mickie’s running basement dropkick getting two. The men brawl to the floor, leaving Mickie to miss the top rope Thesz press. Katie grabs a backbreaker for the fast pin.

Rating: C. Kennedy and Burchill didn’t do much here but this was about Katie getting another win over Mickie to set up a likely title match. It’s nice to see some fresh blood in the title picture and Katie has done well enough in her chances so far. I can’t imagine she wins the title, but so far so good.

Vince, $174,984 to a VERY excited fan.

Vince, $75,000.

Night Of Champions rundown.

John Cena wishes HHH luck.

Vince, $300,000. We’ll be doing this again next week.

HHH vs. Chris Jericho

Non-title. HHH knocks him down a few times to start as Jericho can’t get much going early on. A whip into the post bangs up Jericho’s shoulder and he falls out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Jericho choking on the ropes and then standing on HHH’s back to choke some more. Jericho misses a charge though and HHH slugs away, only to have the facebuster blocked. The Walls don’t work either and HHH hits a spinebuster. Jericho can’t get the Walls or the Lionsault and they fight out to the floor. Cue Lance Cade of all people to jump HHH for the DQ.

Rating: B-. Another nice match and that’s kind of the point here. I can go for not having a champion lose clean in a thrown together match and they covered that well here. Throw in Cade joining Jericho out of nowhere and things were certainly interesting. They covered a few things here and that’s nice to see for a main event.

Post match the beatdown is on but John Cena runs in for the save. HHH and Cena get in a fight but Jericho and Cade take them both out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The action was good and they’re turning Night Of Champions into something big, but at the end of the day, the Vince money stuff is getting annoying fast. They’re trying to throw in some jokes here and there but there is only so much that can be done with someone getting a phone call, saying a password, and winning money. Next week is the Draft though and that should change things up more than enough.

 

 

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Smackdown – June 6, 2008: It’s Something New

Smackdown
Date: June 6, 2008
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Mick Foley, Michael Cole

We FINALLY have a new Smackdown World Champion as Edge (with all of his friends helping) defeated Undertaker in a TLC match to win the title. In addition, Undertaker is officially gone from WWE and I know Edge won’t be bragging about that in the slightest. We are less than a month away from Night Of Champions and that show could use some attention. Let’s get to it.

Here is One Night Stand if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of TLC, with Edge stealing the title. Actually not really as anything goes, so I guess it was clean? Kind of?

La Familia is in the ring, with Vickie Guerrero (back in the wheelchair after walking at One Night Stand) introducing Edge to quite the negative reception. They all have champagne as Edge thanks everyone, but especially Vickie herself. Edge talks about how Vickie completes him, because she made this happen. As for Undertaker, Edge would have run him out of here anyway so Undertaker should thank him. Edge: “May he rest in peace.”

Vickie announces that she and Edge are getting married in five weeks on July 11, but cue Batista to interrupt. Batista doesn’t know why he wasn’t invited to the party but he just wants to wish them luck. Actually he just wants to wish them bad luck and ugly kids because he doesn’t like either of them!

Either way, he wants a World Title shot, but Vickie gives him an eight man tag tonight where he can face La Familia while teaming with three partners…of Vickie’s choosing. Oh and if he loses, no title shots EVER! They certainly hit the ground running here after One Night Stand and that is a good thing, as Edge really needed to face someone new after that never ending feud with Undertaker.

Finlay vs. Chuck Palumbo

This is a Belfast Brawl (street fight) with Hornswoggle in Finlay’s corner. Hornswoggle goes after Palumbo’s bike and gets shoved down to start, meaning Finlay is ready to fight fast. Palumbo gets in a few right hands on the floor and it’s already time for some weapons. A drop toehold sends Palumbo face first into a trashcan but he’s back up with a right hand. Palumbo takes off a turnbuckle pad so Finlay gets the shillelagh, earning himself a big boot. With Finlay down, Palumbo loads up a chain but Hornswoggle hits him low, allowing Finlay to get in a chain shot to win.

Rating: C. That should end the feud but it’s kind of amazing to see how much Palumbo has gotten out of the whole thing. Finlay never was able to get the better of him without help and Palumbo dominated a lot of their time together. Not great here, but you’re only getting so much out of a five minute street fight.

MVP is in a sky box and doesn’t seem pleased with Finlay and Hornswoggle.

Here is Big Show, with a heck of a black eye, to brag about winning the Singapore cane match and say he’s on to a bigger challenge in Kane. Cue Mark Henry to interrupt because he remembered Show telling him to pick on someone his own size. Then he got involved in a match involving STICKS. Show got beaten up to look like that, and we see Show going face first into the steps to bang up his eye. Show is ready to fight but Henry walks away.

We see WWE accepting an award at a film festival involving the military. I believe we saw this a few weeks ago.

Great Khali vs. Deuce N Domino

Deuce starts for the team and is promptly caught in the claw. Domino comes in and gets kicked in the face so they’ll try some double teaming. Khali has no time for this and hits a pair of chokebombs for the pin. Total destruction.

Vickie Guerrero talks to the Divas and compares herself to the Fabulous Moolah. She wants her own Women’s Champion though, so the Divas Title is coming. Tonight, we’ll crown one of the competitors. This has to happen as you can only have random matches for personal issues for so long.

We recap Jimmy Kimmel’s Cousin Sal, as trained by Roddy Piper, vs. Santino Marella. A lot of this is cut off of Peacock, likely due to trademarked footage.

Santino Marella vs. Cousin Sal

Roddy Piper and Jimmy Kimmel is here with Sal, who is in a kilt. Sarah Silverman is here in the crowd for a bonus. They circle each other to start as we hear about how much Sal has waned to do this over the years. Sal grabs a headlock and Santino might need to rethink this. We get the airplane spin and a suplex for two on Santino as Kimmel looks like he’s seeing an amusing dog trick. Kimmel offers a distraction and Sal gets a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. I almost didn’t rate this but it was officially a match. No this wasn’t anything from a quality standpoint and that wasn’t why they did it. This got them on Jimmy Kimmel Live and tied some things into that with the Piper appearance so it’s hard to complain. Nothing match, but they were in and out in less than six minutes.

Post match Santino jumps Sal but Piper saves Kimmel.

MVP is still not impressed.

Post break Sal is getting checked out by Kimmel, who won’t let Sal talk for some reason. Kimmel has Sal’s next opponent, and brings in Big Show for some clowning.

Miz and John Morrison mock Hornswoggle but Finlay comes in (complete with green hat) to scare them off.

Edge talks to Chavo Guerrero, who he wants to be the best man. He’s going to be Uncle Edge after all! Chavo is in and we get an awkward hug.

Kelly Kelly vs. Layla vs. Maryse vs. Cherry vs. Natalya vs. Victoria vs. Michelle McCool

This is the Golden Dreams match, meaning there’s a gold star on a pole and the winner is in the Divas Title match. Everyone goes for the pole to start and that quickly devolves into a huge brawl. The ring is cleared save for Michelle and Natalya, with Michelle kicking her out and going up. Maryse makes the save, followed by Layla and Victoria doing the save. Natalya powerbombs Victoria and Michelle down and grabs the star for the title shot.

Million Dollar Mania press conference video.

Vladimir Kozlov vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

Kozlov grabs a front facelock to start before kicking Yang in the face. The half crab goes on so Kozlov can yell a lot but he misses an elbow. Yang kicks him in the head, only to miss an elbow. Kozlov finishes with a belly to belly.

Batista is ready for Edge and company.

La Familia vs. Batista/???/???/???

Batista’s partners are Nunzio, Funaki and Colin Delaney. Batista and Ryder start things off with Batista not having much trouble. Chavo comes in and gets Jackhammered for two so Batista Rocket Launchers Delaney onto Chavo for two more. We take a break and come back with the villains taking turns on Delaney.

Edge grabs a headlock and forces Delaney to tag Funaki (sidenote: Foley points out that Nunzio and Funaki are former Cruiserweight Champions and very well could cancel out the Edgeheads. That might not be the story they are going for, but it’s accurate.), who gets beaten down for a change. Ryder’s chinlock goes on before it’s back to Edge, who counters the tornado DDT without much trouble. Funaki avoids a charge and Batista gets the tag to clean house. Edge breaks up the Batista Bomb and everything breaks down. Batista hits a double spear and the Batista Bomb finishes Hawkins.

Rating: C+. They were telling a story with Batista overcoming the odds here and, as Foley pointed out, Nunzio and Funaki have had some success before so they could have been worse. Batista getting the win should set him up for Night Of Champions, but odds are he has some more hoops to clear first. As commentary was pointing out though, with Undertaker gone, who else is there to come after Edge?

Overall Rating: C. The idea of Edge vs. Batista is nice and they do need a Women’s Title here, but the rest of the show wasn’t exactly must see. You had a bunch of short matches, including the pole match, and that doesn’t exactly make for a strong middle of the card. There are worse shows, but this didn’t give me confidence on the way to Night Of Champions.

 

 

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Smackdown – May 16, 2008: She’s In Trouble

Smackdown
Date: May 16, 2008
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Commentators: Mick Foley, Michael Cole

It’s the go home show for Judgment Day and, for the third pay per view in a row, the Smackdown main event is going to be Edge vs. Undertaker for the World Title. That doesn’t make for the most exciting result, but that is about all they can do in their current situation. I’m not sure how interesting the final push is going to be but let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s Championship Chase, with Vickie Guerrero adding Edge in at the last minute to steal the title shot.

Opening sequence.

Here is La Familia to get things going. Edge brags about earning the title shot last week and can’t wait to beat Undertaker, who can’t win without the illegal choke. Cue Teddy Long, who is sorry he’s late. Vickie Guerrero can’t believe he’s here and says that as her assistant, he needs to be the first one to arrive and the last one to leave (Uh, how can he help her then?).

Actually Teddy says he was meeting with the Board Of Directors today, because Vickie blew off her meeting with them. He has a letter from the board for her: she can either have her first ever match or be fired from her job, with Long suggesting he would take her place. Vickie threatens to fire him but he quits and leaves instead. Oh and one more thing: her opponent is the UNDERTAKER. They had to do something like this at some point, though Vickie getting in the ring sounds more like comedy than anything else.

CM Punk vs. Chuck Palumbo

Palumbo pounds him down into the corner to start before grabbing a headlock takeover. Punk fights up and low bridges him to the floor, setting up the almost required suicide dive. Palumbo gets in another shot though and we hit the chinlock back inside. The elbow misses Punk and he fires off some kicks to put Palumbo in trouble.

There’s the running knee in the corner into the bulldog for two, followed by a springboard clothesline for the same. One heck of a standing clothesline gives Palumbo two and there’s a fall away slam for another near fall. Full Throttle is broken up though and Punk sends him into the post. The GTS finishes Palumbo off.

Rating: C. That should end this mini feud, as well as Punk’s kind of weird losing streak over his last few matches. I know Punk has the briefcase but that doesn’t mean he needs to lose so often. I’m still not sure why Palumbo got to beat him in the first place but at least they seem to have gotten back on track.

MVP comes in to see La Familia and complains about last week’s Championship Chase. Finlay and then Big Show follow him in but Vickie Guerrero doesn’t like the complaining. MVP can find a partner and face Finlay and Show. With the three of them gone, Chavo Guerrero wants to know why he wasn’t in on last week’s plan. Vickie tells him to shut up because they have planning to do.

Michelle McCool vs. Layla

Layla kicks her way out of the corner to start and slugs away, only to have Michelle come back with a leg crank. Commentary talks about how much better Michelle would have been as their science teacher as she gets a heel hook for the rather fast tap.

Here is Batista for a chat. He was watching Raw this week and saw Shawn Michaels admit that he was faking his knee injury at Backlash. Batista is glad Shawn is better….but wait, it was never hurt in the first place. Shawn is going to be at Judgment day, and maybe Batista will be there too. As usual, Batista keeps it simple and to the point, which often goes best or him.

Video on John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield.

Big Show/Finlay vs. MVP/Mark Henry

Henry is the surprise partner and Hornswoggle is here too, as Show is suddenly a nice guy again. MVP and Finlay go to the mat to start with Finlay grabbing a snap suplex for one. Finlay chokes away a bit before handing it off to Show and Henry. Show knocks him down with a shoulder so MVP comes in to be powered straight into the corner. It’s back to Finlay, who has to deal with an invading Henry, allowing MVP to kick him to the floor.

Back in and MVP fires off some forearms to the head. Henry adds a few shots of his own before handing it back to MVP. This time Finlay avoids a charge and brings Show back in as everything breaks down. Finlay low bridges Henry to the floor, leaving MVP to get chokeslammed for the pin.

Rating: C. Not too bad here, with MVP vs. Finlay being a nice feud and Show vs. Henry being there for the monster showdown appeal. I do appreciate it when they throw something new out there, as MVP and Finlay makes for a fresh match. You never know when you might find something that works and I could go for the two of them having a longer match.

Vickie Guerrero does not like being treated like this, so she’s making it La Familia vs. Undertaker tonight.

Vladimir Kozlov vs. Funaki

The fans chant USA as Kozlov takes him down by the arm and cranks away. More cranking ensues as Funaki is on his feet, where some kicks to the ribs don’t do much. Kozlov knocks him down again and hits the reverse DDT for the win. More dominance, but at least it was against a bigger name.

Cherry vs. Maryse

Deuce N Domino are here with Maryse, who shoves Cherry in the face to start. A neckbreaker gives Cherry a quick two and a rollup is good for the same. Maryse grabs a cravate but Cherry forearms her in the face. A bulldog gives Cherry the upset (I think?) pin.

Video on HHH vs. Randy Orton.

Judgment Day rundown.

Kofi Kingston (with Eve Torres for some reason) shows respect to Matt Hardy when Shelton Benjamin comes in. Benjamin isn’t impressed but Matt brings up that the Gold Standard doesn’t have any gold. And no the bad hair doesn’t count.

Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin

Non-title. A running shoulder gives Shelton two and he grabs the quickly broken armbar. As Foley talks about Pennsylvania amusement parks, Benjamin takes him into the corner and backdrops him out. Benjamin gets two off a backbreaker and we hit the seated abdominal stretch. Matt fights up but a double leg and headbutt to the ribs cuts him back down. The bodyscissors goes on but Matt fights up for a Side Effect. Benjamin’s Dragon Whip connects but Matt is right back with a Twist of Fate for the pin.

Rating: C. Another perfectly watchable match here that had a bit of time. Matt continues to rack up victories, which make him feel like that much stronger of a champion. At the same time, that whole Gold Standard idea continues to feel like one of the worst possible moves, as Shelton’s downward spiral continues.

We recap the opening segment.

Undertaker vs. La Familia

Actually hold on as Chavo Guerrero and Bam Neely walk out (apparently over not being in on last week’s scheme). Vickie is so terrified that even Mick Foley thinks this might be going too far. Edge and the Edgeheads swarm Undertaker at once but Undertaker fires the heads into the corner. The two of them come back to save Edge, who is playing defense in front of Vickie. The triple teaming puts Undertaker down, where his attempt at the choke is broken up. Undertaker fights up and sends the three of them to the floor before grabbing Vickie by the throat. Edge makes the save with the spear and the villains take the countout.

Rating: C-. This was more of an angle than a match and not exactly a great one at that. They’re teasing the idea of Undertaker getting his revenge on Vickie but we’re probably a good ways off from that actually happening. For now, we’ll have to settle for Edge doing more hitting and running, as the (third) big showdown awaits on Sunday.

Overall Rating: C-. Much like this week’s Raw, most of the build towards Sunday was already done but in this case, there wasn’t much to see here. We’re getting a rematch in the main event plus Batista likely interfering in the Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho match. That isn’t much to go on, and it didn’t make for a good go home Smackdown on the way there.

 

 

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