WWE Vault Grab Bag V
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Lord Alfred Hayes, David Crockett, Jim Ross

It’s time to dip back into the randomness that is the WWE Vault (and various other WWE Youtube channels) as there is a lot of stuff I’d like to see. Today we’re going to look at some more random entries, which could be a mixture of matches and/or segments. Either way, they should be from all over the place so let’s get to it.

From a WWE house show in Jonesboro, Arkansas, August 26, 2017.

John Cena vs. Samoa Joe

From what I can find, this is only one of two matches they ever had in WWE, with the other one coming the previous night. Joe powers him down to start and Cena starts bouncing a lot. A headlock slows Cena down again before running the ropes, with Cena hitting a shoulder. Cena’s headlock doesn’t work very well as Joe backs him into the corner for the quick shot to the face.

Joe sends him outside and then kicks him down back inside, meaning we get what looks like a Hulk Hogan pose of all things. A quick AA attempt is blocked and Joe’s enziguri gets two, meaning it’s time to get frustrated. Joe puts him down again for two more and knocks Cena into the corner, leaving Joe to walk around for a bit. Cena avoids a charge in the corner, only to get elbowed in the face.

Joe misses the backsplash though and Cena starts the usual comeback. The AA is countered with a grab of the rope and the referee gets knocked outside. Cena gets the STF for the unseen tap and of course lets go, allowing Joe to get in a low blow. Joe grabs a chair but Cena ducks and hits the AA for the clean pin at 10:00.

Rating: C+. This was more of a “whoa that match happened” and that’s not a bad way to go. It’s one of the appeals of a house show as a few fans got to see the match, even if it was rather basic. That’s all it needed to be and while I could have gone with a far bigger stage, I’ll take getting to see them have a decent match.

From a WWF house show in Long Island, New York, October 24, 1997.

Tag Team Titles: D-Generation X vs. Legion Of Doom

LOD is defending and Michaels tells a fan to suck it as Animal shoves HHH into the corner to start. Animal powers both of them down at the same time as Chyna is not pleased on the floor. We settle back down to Hawk slamming Michaels, who bails outside, with HHH and Chyna massaging the back of his tights. Back in and Michaels bails straight to the floor, only to get gorilla pressed by in by Animal, where Hawk clotheslines him right back to the floor for a big pratfall.

We settle down a bit with Animal grabbing a headlock and grinding Michaels down again as it’s all LOD thus far. The bearhug goes on but Michaels gets out and hands it off to HHH, who gets bearhugged as well. That’s broken up a bit faster and it’s a high/low to take over on Animal. HHH knocks Animal into the corner and Michaels comes back in with a sleeper. A belly to back suplex puts Michaels down but he makes the tag at the same time, allowing HHH to come in for a sleeper of his own.

It’s already back to Michaels for a front facelock but he accidentally ax handles a cheating HHH. The tag brings Hawk back in and the fans certainly seem to approve. Everything breaks down and Michaels gets in a belt shot to Hawk for the pin and the titles at 13:01. And hang on as here’s another referee to say what happened so no title change, as it’s a DQ instead. Actually the brawl keeps going and NOW it’s a DQ. Ok then.

Rating: B-. This was a fun match and that’s all I can ask for with a match like this one. What mattered the most here was that they had two teams who were both working hard and it felt like a big match. You don’t get that kind of thing very often and it was better than I was expecting. Michaels and HHH were a good team in their own right and the LOD had so much experience that they could do this kind of match so easily. I’d call this a nice surprise and it actually lived up to some of its hype.

Post match Chyna gets in and jumps Hawk, leaving DX to have to break up a Doomsday Device. Michaels chairs Animal but Hawk takes it away and sends Michaels running to wrap it up. Somehow DX wins on a DQ, presumably because the LOD beat them up too much. You know, instead of the belt shot which was called.

From a WWE house show in Leeds, England, November 8, 2021.

Walter vs. Cesaro

That would of course be Gunther before the name change. Cesaro backs him up against the ropes to start and gets shoved away. Walter misses the big chop and it’s off to a test of strength, with Walter actually getting the better of things. Cesaro’s headlock takeover puts Walter down for a change and grinds away for a little while. Back up and they trade the shoulders, with Cesaro’s jumping version working a bit better.

A shot to the throat puts Cesaro down though and we lower the pace. The double arm crank goes on, with Walter knocking him down to cut off an escape bid. The chinlock has Cesaro in more trouble and this one stays on for a good while. Cesaro fights up and knocks Walter down, so naturally the fans want the Swing. That’s not happening so they strike it out instead until Walter hits the dropkick.

The powerbomb gets two and it’s off to the sleeper to put Cesaro down. That’s broken up in a hurry though and Cesar scores with Swiss Death. Now the Swing goes on and Cesaro follows with the Sharpshooter, sending Walter over to the rope. The springboard uppercut is blocked though and Walter kicks him in the face. A whip into the post sets up a German suplex into the top rope splash to give Walter the pin at 14:27.

Rating: B. This started slowly and the chinlock in the middle hurt it a bit, but this wound up being quite the hard fought match. That’s what the match needed to be as you kind of know what you’re getting when you have Cesaro vs. Walter. Cesaro wasn’t about to go over the up and coming monster, but they had a good fight here and that’s what it was supposed to be.

From a WWE house show in Dublin, Ireland, June 18, 2005.

Smackdown World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Kurt Angle

Cena is defending and a certain Steve Austin is guest referee. This is also a rare outdoor match and it’s a cool visual with various buildings and trees in the background. JBL yells about being a former champion before the match and shadow boxes/kicks while Angle makes his entrance. We’re clipped to Angle elbowing Cena as JBL is down on the floor. A backdrop sends Angle outside so JBL is in to boot Cena in the face.

We’re clipped a few times to Cena fighting out of JBL’s sleeper but a big boot drops him again. We’re clipped again to Cena superplexing JBL and making the comeback. Cena initiates the finishing sequence and hits the FU for two on Angle. We’re clipped again to JBL countering the ankle lock and sending Angle outside. Cena loads up the finishing sequence on JBL but Angle is back in with an accidental belt shot to Austin.

Angle is kicked outside and the Clothesline From JBL drops Cena, with another referee running in to count two. Cena kicks a chair into JBL’s face so Angle grabs the chair, only to get cut off with a Stunner. Austin pokes JBL’s eye into the AA to retain the title at about 5:00 shown. I’m not going to rate it due to the cuts but it felt like a house show match with Austin there to spice it up a bit.

Post match Austin and Cena celebrate.

From WCW Saturday Night, May 14, 1994.

WCW World Title: Ricky Steamboat vs. Ric Flair

For the vacant title after they went to a draw at Spring Stampede. They go to the mat to start and Steamboat grabs an armbar, with Flair having to escape. Steamboat reverses a headlock into a hammerlock but Flair is back with the half crab. That’s broken up as well and Steamboat grabs a gorilla press to send Flair to the apron, where a suplex brings him back inside.

Cue Colonel Robert Parker with a briefcase full of money as Flair is sent outside again. Back in and Steamboat drops him with a shoulder but runs into a right hand to the ribs. Flair knocks him into the corner and slowly hammers away as we take a break. We come back with Flair sending him outside and then back inside for some near falls. Steamboat can’t armdrag his way out of an armbar but he can chop the skin off of Flair’s chest.

An atomic drop out of the corner gets Flair out of trouble and he grabs a chinlock. Yes he puts his feet on the ropes and no that shouldn’t be a surprise whatsoever. Back up and they chop it out again with Steamboat getting the better of things, allowing Flair to be rocked even more than usual. Steamboat’s dropkick misses though, as does Flair’s big elbow drop. Flair is back with a poke to the eye and Steamboat needs a breather on the floor. Back in and a sunset flip gives Steamboat two but he charges into a boot in the corner.

As usual Flair goes up top and as usual he gets caught and superplexed for two. Flair plants him down for a breather though and we slow the pace a bit. A poke to the eye lets Flair grab a sleeper, with Flair even on Steamboat’s back. That’s finally broken up and Steamboat chops away again as we take another break.

We come back again with Steamboat winning another chop off (it works, so keep going back to it) but getting his dive punched out of the air. Back in and Flair misses a knee drop, allowing Steamboat to wrap the knee around the post. The Figure Four has Flair in trouble, with Heenan screaming how to break out. Flair finally makes the rope (now what Heenan said to do but it did work) so Steamboat is right back on the leg. Steamboat chops him so much that Flair falls down for two and we take a third break.

We come back again with Steamboat missing something off the top and they’re both down again. Steamboat comes up favoring his own knee, allowing Flair to grab a delayed vertical suplex. His own leg is hurt as well though and it’s another double down. Flair is up and on Steamboat’s leg, with the Figure Four going on. The ropes makes it even worse, but the referee finally catches Flair to break it up. Steamboat knocks him back down but Flair is still up first, only to get caught with a chop. A gorilla press brings him crashing down but they’re back up with another collision.

Steamboat’s sleeper is countered into a belly to back suplex so he goes up again, with Steamboat top rope superplexing him for a crash. A big chop off the top gives Steamboat two and he tries the high crossbody but hits both Flair and the referee. Back up and they trade rollups for two each as they’re somehow still moving at a high speed about 45 minutes into the match. Steamboat tries a leapfrog but seems to get headbutted low, giving Flair the pin and the title at 47:06. Parker never got involved at all.

Rating: A-. There’s a reason these two wrestled each other so many times for the better part of twenty years. Sweet goodness this was amazing stuff with both guys staying crisp throughout and a sense that the match really could have ended multiple times. It’s just high level, technically incredible wrestling between two guys who could do this stuff in their sleep. It says a lot when this is pretty firmly on the low end of their series, as it’s an instant classic with only the kind of sudden ending holding it back. Definitely check this out, plus pretty much anything else they’ve done, ever.

From a WWF house show in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada, January 16, 1989.

WWF Title: Randy Savage vs. Bad News Brown

Savage, with Elizabeth, is defending in a Harlem Street Fight and they’re both in street clothes. Brown jumps him on the way in and they’re quickly outside with Savage striking away. A headbutt cuts Savage off though and a chair is thrown inside so Brown can use it to choke. Brown takes him back outside but punches the post, allowing Savage to ax handle him back inside.

Savage takes off his weightlifting belt and blasts Brown in the ribs. Brown is back up with another chair shot and sends Savage crashing over the barricade. A table (remember, this is 1989) is set up in the corner but Savage sends Brown into said table. There’s no referee as Brown hits the Ghetto Blaster for no count. A slam gets the same result so brown yells at the referee, allowing Savage to grab a backslide to retain (with the count from a second referee) at 6:49.

Rating: B. This didn’t last long and no it wasn’t as smooth as the kinds of street fights etc. that you would see in the future, but these guys beat the fire out of each other and it felt like a fight. The big thing here was that Brown basically beat him up and then got caught in the end. There was absolutely something to Brown, who was WAY ahead of his time and could have been incredible about ten years later. Still though, good stuff here, with Savage being more than capable of doing this kind of thing.

Post match Brown kicks Savage outside and then ties the original referee up in the Tree Of Woe. Brown easily takes Savage down into the corner but Savage is back up with a running ax handle. Some other wrestlers come in to break it up, or at least they do after a few misfires.

From WCW Worldwide, May 14, 1988.

NWA United States Tag Team Titles: Midnight Express vs. Fantastics

The Express, with Jim Cornette, is defending and after their usual pre-match hugs, we’re ready to go. Fulton and Lane start things off with Fulton knocking him down without much trouble. A running shoulder drops Lane again and it’s time for the champs to regroup. Lane wrestles him down and quickly gets a hammerlock, which works so well that he does it again.

We take a break and come back with Lane getting double hiptossed, allowing Rogers to work on an armbar. Rogers sends Lane outside so it’s off to Eaton for a change. Eaton gets in a standing chinlock but charges into a headscissors. Lane teases coming off the top for the save but Fulton shakes the ropes to bring him down and then chills on the top in a great spot.

We take another break and come back with Lane on the floor before coming back inside to headlock Fulton. That’s broken up and it’s back to Rogers to work on Lane’s leg. That earns him an enziguri though and Eaton comes back in, only to get taken down as well. Eaton is knocked to the floor and sent into the post as the Midnights are all discombobulated. Back in and Eaton takes over on Fulton, who comes off the middle rope with a kind of hip attack for two.

A hurricanrana takes Eaton down again and we take another break. We come back with Eaton getting in a shot to the throat, followed by Lane’s karate kick to the chest. The hammerlock goes on and the fans get behind Rogers, with Cornette losing his mind on the floor as only he can. Rogers gets sent into the wrong corner again, with Lane grabbing a Russian legsweep for two more.

We take another break and come back again with Eaton working on the arm. Rogers fights up and brings Fulton back in, only for the Midnights to pull him down into a seated abdominal stretch. Fulton’s throat is pulled across the top rope and an elbow gives Lane two. We take yet another break and come back with the bleeding Fulton getting neckbreakered for two. Eaton goes up top and drops the elbow for two more, followed by Lane kicking away in the corner.

The referee stops to check on Fulton’s cut but Rogers bets him not to stop the match. Fulton grabs Anderson’s leg to beg as well so Lane kicks Fulton in the face. Cornette is up on the apron to demand the match be stopped…and Rogers missile dropkicks Eaton into a rollup to give Fulton the pin and the titles at 36:48.

Rating: A. This has been called the greatest tag match to ever air on television in the United States and….yeah it’s kind of hard to argue. The Midnights were as good of an in-ring team as you could get at this point (if not ever) and the Fantastics could go move for move with them. There is nothing in here remotely bad or even less than good, as everyone is working hard and looks incredibly crisp. Throw in that Eaton hat a 100+ degree fever and was so sick that Cornette was asking him if they needed to cancel the match and it’s even better. Absolutely check this out as it’s a tag team wrestling clinic.

From a WWE house show in New York City, New York, December 26, 2017.

Intercontinental Title: Roman Reigns vs. John Cena

Reigns is defending and I guess this works if it’s all you’ve got. They fight over a lockup to start as the fans are split, as usual in a big cena match. Reigns backs him up against the ropes so Cena grabs a headlock as they’re taking their time to start. That’s switched into a chinlock as Reigns can’t get very far early on. Back up and they go to a test of strength, with Reigns powering him out to the floor. Cena gets back in and is pretty easily knocked down, followed by a headbutt back outside.

We hit…I’m really not sure as it’s a one camera shoot and the fans are in the way but Cena takes over on the floor. Back in and the AA attempt is broken up but Cena grabs a tornado DDT. Reigns fights back with some big right hands and Cena’s comeback is cut off with the corner clotheslines. A big boot drops Cena again but he’s right back with the usual finishing sequence. The AA is countered into a sunset flip to give Reigns two, as does the Samoan drop.

The Superman Punch is pulled into the STF, only for Cena to let go to pull him back to the middle. Now the Superman Punch gets two, as does the AA, with the fans losing their minds on these near falls. Cena goes up but dives into a sitout powerbomb to leave them both down. Back up and they slug it out until Cena tries the AA again. That’s escaped though and the spear retains Reigns’ title at 17:59.

Rating: B. They had the big fight feel going here and that’s what it needed to be. This was the main event with the biggest star of the previous generation coming back to go after one of the biggest stars of today. That’s a main event level match and Cena knows how to bring it as well as anyone else. Good stuff here, especially for a house show with a red hot crowd.

From a WWE house show in Lafayette, Louisiana, March 10, 2024.

Kevin Owens/Becky Lynch vs. Grayson Waller/Nia Jax

Ok then. Waller’s running shoulder can’t get anywhere with Owens and a stomp on the foot doesn’t do much better. For some reason Waller shoves him in the face before handing it off to Jax. A shove actually puts Owens down and it’s off to Lynch for a high crossbody. Lynch kicks her way out of the corner and hits a Diamond Dust for two. The Disarm-Her is blocked so Lynch dropkicks her out to the floor instead.

Waller gets ping ponged between the two of them and a double suplex puts him down again. Jax is back in to run Lynch over though, setting up a reverse Stinkface in the ropes. The regular version makes it even worse as Lynch is gagging. Owens even gives her some water to wake her back up. Lynch fights out of the corner but Waller is right there to cut off the tag.

A Samoan drop gives Jax two and she can’t believe the kickout. Jax’s charge hits the post though and it’s off to Owens to beat up Waller. The backsplash gives Owens two but the Stunner is blocked. Jax forearms Owens into a rollup for two but misses a charge. Lynch Stunners Jax and Owens does the same to Waller, setting up the Manhandle Slam for the pin at 9:44.

Rating: C+. This was the definition of a fun house show match and that’s always nice to see. They didn’t do anything too complicated here and it was all about giving the fans something unique. Owens and Lynch worked well together and they beat up some annoying villains. What else do you want?

From Over The Limit 2012.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan

Punk is defending. Feeling out process to start with neither being able to get anywhere on the ropes. Instead Bryan grabs a headlock and hits a running shoulder, only to get hiptossed down. Punk takes him into the corner and starts in on the leg, including some cranking on the mat. Back up Bryan is able to flip over him out of the corner but the leg is kicked out again.

An Indian Deathlock is broken up as Bryan forearms him in the head, only for Punk to come back with a curb stomp. Bryan gets sent crashing out to the floor but drives Punk back first into the barricade. Punk is draped ribs first across the barricade and we hit the seated abdominal stretch back inside (with commentary reminding us that Kane recently injured Punk’s ribs).

Bryan switches into a surfboard with a dragon sleeper, followed by a heck of a running knee to the back. The Swan Dive gives Bryan two but Punk gets up for a double collision. Punk leg lariats him and hits the swinging neckbreaker as the comeback is on. A backdrop sends Bryan outside and the knee is banged up again. The suicide dive connects but Bryan is able to dropkick him out of the air.

One heck of a kick to the head gives Bryan two so he goes up, only to get crotched. A springboard clothesline gives Punk two and they go into a pinfall reversal sequence. Bryan can’t get the LeBell Lock but he can get kicked in the head for two. The top rope elbow connects but Punk’s knees are banged up again. Bryan gets the LeBell Lock in the middle of the ring, only for Punk to stack him up for the pin at 24:14. Punk taps a second after the pin but it is clearly after.

Rating: A-. This was every bit of the technical masterpiece that you would expect, with the hard strikes and some high flying thrown in. Punk winning clean is a bit of a surprise and thankfully they didn’t do anything screwy by having him tap at the same time. Naturally this didn’t headline the show because it wasn’t…let’s see here…John Cena vs. Johnny Ace. No wonder Punk had a chip on his shoulder.

From a WWF TV taping in Lowell, Massachusetts, August 18, 1993.

Mr. Hughes/Giant Gonzalez vs. Mr. Perfect/Randy Savage

This is the biggest “well ok” match I’ve seen in a bit and Harvey Wippleman is with the villains. Savage gets an interesting introduction with Mike McGuirk telling the fans to “give it all you got” for him. Hughes shoves the rather popular Perfect into the corner to start and then easily punches him down.

It’s off to Gonzalez, who looks even weirder than usual slowly hammering on Perfect. Hughes is back in and gives up the tag to Savage (who could pass for a Captain America knockoff), who is choked down by Gonzalez. A clothesline drops Savage again and it’s back to Hughes to miss a charge into the corner. Perfect comes back in to slug away, including a backdrop. Savage adds a top rope ax handle and Perfect gets a small package for the pin at 7:10.

Rating: C. The weird thing is this match actually made me feel bad for Gonzalez. There is only so much he could do against people literally a foot and a half shorter than him and that became quite the problem. Savage and Perfect couldn’t do much more than punch him, leaving Hughes as the only one they could do anything against. It’s not good, but it certainly had the spectacle.

From a WWE house show in Sydney, Australia, March 3, 2006.

Smackdown World Title: Mark Henry vs. Randy Orton vs. Kurt Angle vs. Undertaker

Angle is challenging. Orton bails to the floor to start, where some women are VERY excited to see him. We’re clipped to Orton back inside, with Undertaker hammering away. Orton bails outside so Angle rolls Undertaker up for two, earning himself a shot to the face. Henry comes back inside to choke Undertaker, as does Henry’s manager Daivari. Angle ankle locks Orton over the barricade, sending him into the crowd.

The other two join them, with Undertaker popping Orton with some right hands, sending him onto a woman who certainly does not seem to mind. Back in and Undertaker chinlocks Angle until Orton rather slowly rolls in for the save. Henry comes in to beat up Undertaker but Orton has to save him from the ankle lock. Undertaker is back up to stomp on Orton, who breaks up Old School.

A superplex puts Undertaker down for two and we’re clipped to Orton breaking up a superplex to Angle. The RKO is blocked but the Angle Slam hits Undertaker instead. We’re clipped again to Undertaker sitting up and chokeslamming Orton for two with Henry making a save. The Angle Slam finishes Orton to retain the title at about 9:00 shown. I won’t rate it due to the clips but what we saw looked good.

Post match Undertaker goes after Orton but has to beat up an invading JBL.

As has been the case with many shows over the years, we’ll wrap it up with a small package. This one features a collection of Mortis dark matches in WWE.

Velocity dark match, August 16, 2003.

Mortis vs. Austin Aries

Or “Austin Arius”, who is billed from St. Louis, where the match happens to be taking place. Aries strikes away to start but misses a high crossbody, allowing Mortis to strike away in the corner. A reverse Walls Of Jericho sends Aries over to the ropes and he gets some boots up in the corner. Aries is back with a discus forearm and a clothesline out to the floor. The slingshot dive misses but Aries is right back up for a missile dropkick. A sitout Dominator finishes Aries at 3:38.

Rating: C. I’m kind of surprised Aries didn’t get a closer look, as he was aggressive here and had some good looking high flying. You could tell he had the athleticism and balance that let him move around rather well. On the other and you have Mortis, who certainly looked cool and could have been fine enough without the Mortal Kombat stuff.

Velocity dark match, August 23, 2004.

Mortis vs. Truth Martini

Mortis punches him down to start but misses a springboard legdrop. Martini’s springboard spinning legdrop misses as well, allowing Mortis to hit a superkick. Back up and Mortis sends him into the corner for a middle rope Boston crab before sending Martini into the post. The crossarm choke goes on and a suplex drops Martini again. A tornado DDT gives Martini two of his own but he gets caught in an electric chair faceplant for the pin at 4:37.

Rating: C-. Ah now this was more like it, as there was nothing to Mortis here other than the look. Mortis does look cool, but his offense was “do a move, stand there, do another move, stand there again”, and so forth. That only works for so long and made a four and a half minute match feel a heck of a lot longer.

Velocity dark match, August 30, 2004.

Mortis/Funaki vs. Jack Bull/Mike Knox

Mortis strikes away at Bull to start so it’s off to Funaki, who gets beaten down by Knox. Bull comes back in to strike away. A reverse tornado DDT gets Funaki out of trouble and it’s back to Mortis. Everything breaks down and Mortis finishes Knox with a lifting Downward Spiral at 4:32.

Rating: C. Again, there’s just not much to say about these matches. Mortis is creepy looking but is teaming with the eternally likable Funaki against a pair of big bald guys. There was nothing to the match and Mortis certainly didn’t stand out, which is kind of the point of the whole thing.

Velocity dark match, October 25, 2003.

Mortis vs. John Walters

This is joined in progress for some reason with Walters flipping over him and hitting a clothesline for two. Walters’ neck crank doesn’t last long as Mortis is back up with a corner clothesline and a middle rope bulldog out of the corner. The superkick gets two and a sitout Alabama slam finishes Walters at 3:07.

Rating: C. Much like the previous matches, there’s something to the idea of this weird looking guy who does unique moves, but the whole Mortis deal was played so slowly. It was like Chris Kanyon was thinking “ok so I’m Mortis now” rather than getting into doing anything. This was another weak match and I’m not surprised WWE didn’t do anything with Mortis as a result.

Overall Rating: A-. The Mortis matches aren’t great, but they’re about the only things close to weak in this set. When you have the Flair vs. Steamboat match, that incredible Midnights/Fantastics match and the rather awesome Punk vs. Bryan match, almost anything else is going to be fine. I got lucky this time with a great set of matches and some actual rarities, which made for a rather fun (albeit crazy long) viewing. Check out those three matches for sure though, as they’re all worth your time.

 

 

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Wrestlemania VII
Date: March 24, 1991
Location: Los Angeles Sports Arena, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,158
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

It’s the Gulf War show, as Hulk Hogan is fighting to get the WWF Title back from former American hero turned Iraqi sympathizer Sgt. Slaughter. If that sounds like one of the worst ideas for a Wrestlemania main event ever, you have quite the memory for these things. Other than that we have Randy Savage vs. Ultimate Warrior in a match that actually belongs in a big spot at Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is all about the stars and stripes with only Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter being shown.

Willie Nelson sings America The Beautiful.

Jim Duggan joins commentary for the first match, while saying that Hulk Hogan going after Sgt. Slaughter is like the military going after Saddam Hussein.

The Rockers know they’re ready for Haku and the Barbarian, whether they are part of the Heenan Family or not.

Rockers vs. Haku/Barbarian

Haku and Barbarian, with Bobby Heenan, are already in the ring in a move that could cut down on so much Wrestlemania time these days. Shawn and Haku start things off as the fans are already yelling about Heenan. Haku whips him into the corner a few times but a shoulder and some right hands get Shawn out of trouble. Marty comes in for the double elbow but Barbarian clotheslines both Rockers inside out.

Back up and a double superkick drops Barbarian and it’s time for pointers with the Brain (jot that down for a talk show idea). We settle back down to Marty sunset flipping Barbarian for two before working over the arm. Haku comes back in for a double headbutt and an assisted hot shot has Marty in even more trouble. The gorilla press plants Marty again and Barbarian even draws Shawn in so double choking can ensue.

A hard whip into the corner gives Barbarian two more and we hit the required bearhug (What took them so long?). Marty tries to fight back but gets caught in a heck of a powerslam to cut him off again. Barbarian misses the top rope headbutt though and there’s the tag to Shawn. House is quickly cleaned, including a middle rope crossbody to Barbarian. Everything breaks down and it’s a double clothesline to Barbarian. Marty missile Barbarian and Shawn adds a high crossbody for the pin at 10:33.

Rating: C+. The middle felt a little bit long but this was a perfectly fine power vs. speed tag match. The Rockers are one of the better speed teams from around this time and they were a great choice for an opener. Haku and Barbarian on the other hand were perfectly acceptable monsters, making this a rather nice way to get the crowd fired up. It would have been a heck of a house show match (and probably was more than once) and that worked well in this spot.

We get our celebrity interviews with Regis Philbin (scared of Earthquake), Marla Maples (future wife of Donald Trump and tonight’s guest timekeeper) and Alex Trebek (Jeopardy jokes abound). I love Jeopardy and Regis can be funny, but these are about as cringe as you can get.

Dino Bravo vs. Texas Tornado

Jimmy Hart is here with Bravo, who jumps Tornado at the bell and clotheslines him out to the floor in an early heap. Back in and Tornado slugs away but can’t get the Claw. Bravo knocks him down again and drops an elbow for two, setting up the side slam. The delayed cover gets two and there’s a middle rope elbow to the back of Tornado’s head. Bravo goes up but dives into the Claw, setting up the Tornado Punch for the pin at 3:11.

Rating: D. This is the match that I cite for why I don’t redo every Wrestlemania (or any show) very often. There are only so many ways you can talk about a nothing match like this with no build and almost no time. Tornado was past his expiration date and Bravo would be gone, save for mostly house shows, after this, so what were they supposed to do here?

Slick and the Warlord are ready to beat British Bulldog. Sweet goodness I was scared of Warlord’s half mask back then and it’s still an awesome look to this day.

Bulldog says he can powerslam Warlord.

British Bulldog vs. Warlord

Slick is here with Warlord but Bulldog has his mascot Winston (he’s no Matilda). This is power vs. power so Warlord starts with the clubbing forearm to the back. Bulldog runs him over with some shoulders and Warlord is already on the floor for a breather. Back in and Warlord counters the crucifix into something like a Samoan drop as things slow way back down. The bearhug goes on for a bit before Bulldog charges into a hot shot to cut the comeback right back off.

We hit the chinlock, with Heenan even complaining about how sloppy Warlord has it on. With that broken up, Bulldog dropkicks him into the corner and hammers away, setting up a crossbody for two. The piledriver is blocked so Bulldog settles for two off a sunset flip instead. Bulldog misses a charge though and Warlord gets most of the full nelson, minus the fingers being locked. The incomplete version is broken up and Bulldog hits the powerslam for the pin at 8:10.

Rating: C. This was another house show style match as Bulldog gets an impressive win, with that powerslam still looking great. Warlord is up there with the most generic monster villains you can get but he looked good enough that beating him still felt like something of a big deal. These two could have some nice power matches though and they made a basic story work well here.

The Nasty Boys, with Jimmy Hart, are ready to win the Tag Team Titles, even if it means beating the Hart Foundation. They destroy Gene handkerchief to warm up.

The Hart Foundation are ready for a fight but say the Nastys can’t crack, move or break the foundation.

Tag Team Titles: Hart Foundation vs. Nasty Boys

The Nastys, with Jimmy Hart (in a helmet), are challenging and Macaulay Culkin is in the audience, with Monsoon thankfully recognizing him. Sags punches away at Bret to start but Bret is back with a Thesz press and right hands (….hey). Bret cuts off a kick to the ribs and stomps Sags in the abdomen (or bread basket, whichever you prefer). Knobbs comes in to hammer on Neidhart in the corner, which of course is just fine with Neidhart.

The hard shoulders send Knobbs to the floor before it’s time to work on the arm back inside. It’s back to Sags, who gets taken down again by Neidhart, allowing Bret to hammer away as well. The Russian legsweep into the middle rope elbow connects but Bret has to cut off an interfering Knobbs. That’s enough for Sags to get in a cheap shot so the Nastys can actually take over for a change.

Bret is knocked to the floor for a breather, followed by a hard whip into the corner back inside as the pace stays slow. The reverse chinlock goes on for a good while before Knobbs comes in for one of his own. Sags grabs a third reverse chinlock, followed by Knobbs dropping elbows to the bad back.

Make that four reverse chinlocks until Bret finally avoids a charge in the corner. The tag to Neidhart isn’t seen but Knobbs runs into Sags by mistake, allowing Neidhart to come in legally. House is cleaned and a powerslam gets two on Knobbs. The Nastys collide again and the Hart Attack hits Knobbs. There’s no referee though, allowing Sags to get in a shot with Jimmy’s helmet to give Knobbs the pin and the titles at 12:00.

Rating: C. There were good sections, but how in the world can four straight reverse chinlocks be the best you have? Mixing it up at least a little big really shouldn’t be too much to ask but apparently that wasn’t going to happen here. This was a way to get some fresh blood in the tag division, which would be needed as the Harts were more or less done after this, with Bret moving into his singles career.

We recap Rick Martel vs. Jake Roberts. Martel went to spray Jake’s snake bag with cologne (because reasons) but sprayed Jake in the eyes. Roberts was blinded as a result, though he managed to DDT Brother Love at one point. His eyes were messed up for months but now he’s back for a blindfold match.

Roberts says snakes have five senses but they always do it better in the dark.

Jake Roberts vs. Rick Martel

They’re both in hoods and if you ignore being able to see the eye hole when Jake puts his on, it makes for a good visual. Roberts goes smart early on by having the crowd help him find Martel. There’s no contact for the first minute until both of them stumble over the other a bit. Jake gets two off a rollup and then steps around Martel’s backdrop attempt (because that’s the kind of thing you do when you can’t see).

The pointing thing results in a collision and a pair of missed charges. Then to mix it up a bit, they miss each other again. Martel finally catches him with a slam but misses the elbow drop as Gorilla and Bobby suddenly can’t hear each other. Martel corners the referee in the corner as Jake is in another corner to start the pointing. With that not working, Jake starts clapping to get Martel to come over. This one actually works, but they crash into the ropes. Heenan: “Why doesn’t Martel lift the hood up and peak?” Gorilla: “That’s cheating!” Heenan: “SO WHAT???”

A headlock doesn’t work for Jake as Martel sends him outside. Heenan: “Excuse me. MARTEL! HE’S ON THE FLOOR!” Martel follows him out and pokes around with a chair, with the swing only hitting the post. Back in and Martel hits a backbreaker to set up the Boston crab. With that broken up in a hurry (so much for Martel’s finisher), Jake grabs the DDT for the pin at 8:31.

Rating: D. This match isn’t something that works well on second viewings, as there are so many instances where it is clear that they can see each other. Roberts getting the win is the feel good moment, but it took its sweet time getting there. Not as completely horrible as I remember it, but it doesn’t work very well if you’re paying attention.

Post match Jake busts up the Arrogance atomizer and puts Damien on Martel.

Marla Maples is in the locker room where the Nasty Boys, Jimmy Hart and the Mountie are celebrating the Tag Team Title win. Dino Bravo and Earthquake come in with more champagne and Marla is surrounded. That’s it for her, as this isn’t exactly a great celebrity cameo. What exactly was nasty about a big celebration anyway?

Jimmy Snuka vs. The Undertaker

Paul Bearer is here with Undertaker of course. Snuka stares at Undertaker as we cut to Bearer looking….well weird to everyone else, normal for him. Undertaker sends him into the corner a few times before knocking Snuka outside in a heap. A suplex brings Snuka back in but he manages a few strikes for a breather. Snuka’s missed charge only hits ropes though and it’s another crash to the floor, followed by the Tombstone to make Undertaker 1-0 at Wrestlemania at 4:20.

Rating: D+. It’s always kind of interesting that one of the most important things in the company’s history started off as such a nothing match. This was little more than a squash as Snuka had absolutely nothing. The Tombstone alone was worth a look, though Undertaker was still figuring a lot of things out at this point.

We recap Randy Savage vs. Ultimate Warrior in a career threatening match. Savage wanted a shot at Warrior’s WWF Title but got turned down (despite Sherri’s suggestive advances). As a result, Savage cheated like crazy to cost Warrior the title to Sgt. Slaughter. Warrior wants revenge, and their careers are on the line. This is FAR more interesting than the real main event as it has a more personal story and could go either way.

Randy Savage vs. Ultimate Warrior

Before the match, Heenan spots Miss Elizabeth in the crowd, looking a bit distraught. Savage, with Queen Sherri, gets his big throne entrance and Warrior makes it weird by walking to the ring. They take their time to get going until Warrior powers him away. Savage bounces off of him and it’s time for a breather on the floor. Back in and Warrior chokes away before hitting an atomic drop, though things are still moving fairly slowly.

Sherri’s interference fails and Warrior punches Savage down again. Savage finally comes back with that running clothesline but Warrior pulls a high crossbody out of the air (that’s always impressive). Instead of slamming Savage down though, Warrior sits him down to start up the mind games. Said games cause Savage to throw in a chair but Warrior punches him down again. Warrior finally misses a charge into the corner though and Sherri stomps away on the floor.

Savage’s top rope ax handle has a bit more impact but Warrior shoves Sherri down anyway. A posting drops Warrior and Sherri, not taking this lying down, kicks away at Warrior. As Gorilla says this is officially the largest pay per view audience in the history of pay per view, Warrior gets two off a backslide for a breather. Warrior hits the clothesline and runs the ropes a bunch, only to miss the shoulder.

Savage grabs the chinlock for a bit before Warrior fights up. A double clothesline gives us a double knockdown and they’re both rather winded. Back up and Warrior actually grabs a small package but Sherri has the referee. Savage knees Warrior in the back to send him into the referee and now things are getting going. Sherri comes in off the top with her shoe but hits Savage by mistake, meaning it’s time for Warrior to go a-stalking.

A rollup (seemingly with trunks) gives Savage two and he sends Warrior hard into the corner. Savage clotheslines him in the back of the head and drops the top rope elbow. Then he drops the top rope elbow. Then he drops the top rope elbow. Then he drops the top rope elbow. Then he drops the top rope elbow….for two, just in case you didn’t know who was winning here.

Warrior Warriors Up and hits the shoulders into the gorilla press drop. The Warrior Splash connects for two and now Warrior is stunned. Warrior looks up, then looks at his hands, and starts walking up the aisle. Instead of taking the countout, Savage jumps him from behind and goes up top, only to miss his dive onto the barricade. Back in and Warrior’s flying shoulder sends Savage outside again. They get back in and do it again, as Savage’s bumps off the shoulder here are awesome. A third running shoulder sends Savage outside again and Warrior throws him back inside. Savage is DONE and Warrior gets the pin at 20:47.

Rating: A-. This felt like an epic showdown between two top stars and that is what it was supposed to be. You don’t get this kind of a match very often around the WWF and they made it work on every front. The ending scene of Savage being completely defeated made it look like the better man won, even with Savage and Sherri cheating every chance they could. Outstanding match here and it still more than holds up.

Post match Warrior leaves and Sherri berates Savage as he still can’t get up. She even kicks him over and over….until Elizabeth jumps the barricade and chases Sherri off (the ultra rare instance of her getting physical). Savage finally gets up and sees Elizabeth, leaving him very confused. Elizabeth stretches out her arms and Savage finally hugs her to a huge roar. Savage puts her on his shoulder and then holds the ropes open for her, because things have finally changed before them.

This is the moment that can still bring a bit of a tear to the eye of fans of my generation because it was YEARS in the making and the fans were begging Savage to take her back by the end. It’s Savage FINALLY being at peace and getting his happy ending after leaving it all in the ring. This is still one of the best things that WWE has ever done and it still gets to me, even if I’ve seen it dozens of times.

And now, a debate on instant replay in wrestling, with Vince McMahon moderating the discussion between New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner and NFL analyst Paul Maguire. Steinbrenner wants instant replay but if it takes more than a minute to get the call right, fire them. Vince: “What do you mean fire him? Like, from his job?” Maguire doesn’t like the idea and insults Steinbrenner over his comments. We get an instant replay, as looked at by the Bushwhackers, which results in the tape being ruined. Their ruling: the tape is inconclusive, therefore the play stands. This was bizarre to put it mildly, which might be why it isn’t on the Peacock version.

We run down what is left on the show as this feels like an intermission. Gorilla and Bobby talk about what has gone on so far, with Heenan saying if he was Savage, he would rather have some money than a skirt.

Regis Philbin interviews Undertaker and Paul Bearer, with Undertaker taking measurements for….reasons. Puns about being alive ensue.

Alex Trebek interviews Demolition, with Mr. Fuji, who yell a lot and scare Trebek a bit. Trebek tries to turn it into something Jeopardy-ish and the yelling gets has him throwing it back to Regis.

Regis tries to talk to Genichiro Tenryu and Koji Kitao about their match but can only use Japanese company names. They want to know where Kathy Lee (the co-host of his talk show) is and it doesn’t go well.

Jake Roberts and Damien scare Trebek off. Roberts tells Damien that he’ll have to settle for the home version of Jeopardy.

Those four segments? They were really, really bad.

Genichiro Tenryu/Koji Kitao vs. Demolition

This is Crush/Smash, with Mr. Fuji, in the very last try to push the team as meaning anything. Tenryu and Kitao are here as part of a partnership with Tenryu’s SWS promotion. Demolition jumps Kitao to start but Kitao knees Crush against the ropes. A distraction lets Smash get in a shot from behind though and Demolition takes over. Crush hits a top rope ax handle to the back as the fans aren’t exactly interested here. Kitao gets over for the tag off to Tenryu, who misses a top rope elbow. The Demolition Decapitator is loaded up but Kitao makes a save. Tenryu enziguris Smash and a powerbomb gives Tenryu the pin at 4:40.

Rating: D. Call it a style clash, call it Demolition being worthless at this point or call it the WWF not getting why this would be a bad idea, but this really did not work in any sense. The Ax/Smash version of Demolition was great, but the Crush/Smash version was Demolition in name only. This was more or less it for Demolition and based on this, that is the best thing for everyone involved.

Big Boss Man is tired of Bobby Heenan talking about his mama and has run through the Heenan Family. Now Mr. Perfect, and the Intercontinental Title, are all that’s left.

Bobby Heenan references the Rodney King beating and promises you’ll see something similar when Mr. Perfect beats up the Big Boss Man.

Intercontinental Title: Big Boss Man vs. Mr. Perfect

Boss Man is challenging after spending months beating up the rest of the Heenan Family (Rick Rude was originally going to be included but he left the company in the fall). Alfred Hayes is joining commentary to replace Heenan, who is in Perfect’s corner. Boss Man catches Perfect’s towel and cleans himself off with it, much to Perfect’s annoyance. Perfect gets knocked around as the beating is on, including Perfect charging into a boot in the corner.

There’s the big toss over the top and you know Perfect is going to take a huge bump off that one. Back in and Boss Man takes off his belt, only to have Perfect take him away and start hammering him down. Some shots to the back keep Boss Man in trouble and we hit the abdominal stretch. With that broken up, a good looking dropkick gives Perfect two and the neck snap makes it worse.

The PerfectPlex is countered into a small package for two but Perfect knocks him down again. Perfect goes up and dives onto a raised boot, setting up the ram into the buckle for another huge Perfect bump. Boss Man crotches him against the post but a Heenan distraction lets Perfect send him into the steps.

With the numbers advantage causing issues, Andre the Giant (oh boy) comes out to….well it’s not exactly even but it definitely changes things. As you might expect, Heenan panics so Perfect goes after Andre, who smacks him in the face with the Intercontinental Title. A VERY delayed cover gets two and here are Haku and Barbarian to jump Boss Man for the DQ at 10:46.

Rating: C. There was a lot going on here but I still don’t get why Boss Man didn’t win the title. That would seem to be the most obvious ending but instead it just goes nowhere, with Boss Man getting the “feel good” win. Perfect very easily could have wont he title back a month or so later, but at least we got one more Andre appearance where he looked somewhat mobile.

Gene Okerlund interviews……Donald Trump, who hopes to have Wrestlemania back in Atlantic City. Chuck Norris is here too, and thinks the wrestlers are great athletes, even name dropping Argentina Rocca of all people. Henry Winkler is happy the Ultimate Warrior won. Lou Ferrigno finds this really entertaining. I need a Christmas special where those four get together and save Santa Claus.

Earthquake vs. Greg Valentine

Jimmy Hart is here with Earthquake. This is my regular chance to ask what the heck the WWF was thinking by making Valentine a good guy around this time. Earthquake starts fast and hits an early powerslam for two as the dominance seems to be on. Valentine avoids a charge in the corner and slowly hammers away. A running elbow to the head actually puts Earthquake down on one knee and a middle rope version actually knocks him down. The Figure Four is blocked and Hart offers a distraction, allowing Earthquake to drop the elbow. The Earthquake finishes Valentine at 3:17.

Rating: D+. The match was fine enough and Valentine got in some offense, but there is only so much that you can get out of this situation. Earthquake cleaned Valentine out and beat him without much effort. I’m still not sure who saw Valentine as a good guy but to call it a flop would be too kind.

The Legion of Doom promise to make Power And Glory sour and gory. That’s a heck of a line.

Legion of Doom vs. Power And Glory

Slick is here with Power And Glory. The Doomsday Device finishes Roma at 58 seconds and the LOD wants the Tag Team Titles.

We recap Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase. Virgil had been mistreated for years and FINALLY snapped at the Royal Rumble after a tag match with DiBiase. Roddy Piper has been supporting Virgil, despite Piper being in a horrible motorcycle accident that has left him barely able to walk at the moment.

Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase

Roddy Piper is here with Virgil, who punches DiBiase outside to start. With DiBiase back inside, Virgil punches him right back to the floor. Back in again and DiBiase gets clotheslined to the floor as the frustrations continue. A slower DiBiase gets back inside and this time a few shots slow Virgil down.

The beating is on, including a piledriver for two as commentary talks about how big of a show this has been. A suplex drops Virgil again and DiBiase heads outside to deck Piper. Back in and a powerslam gives DiBiase two but Piper uses his crutch to low bridge DiBiase to the floor. DiBiase goes after Piper but gets counted out at 7:42.

Rating: C-. As has been said, the problem with Virgil is that there just wasn’t anything there in the ring. His punches were his best weapon, as other than that, he was as generic as you could get. Getting the win over DiBiase was a nice moment, but they didn’t exactly make it feel like a big deal. It would have been too much to see Virgil pin him, but this wasn’t exactly thrilling.

Post match DiBiase goes after Piper’s knee again, with Sherri running in to help with the beating. Some crutch shots to the knee have Piper in trouble but Virgil gets up for the save. Piper is in agony but Virgil tells him to get up. Then Piper gets up with Virgil’s help.

Sean Mooney sends us to a recap of Sgt. Slaughter vs. Hulk Hogan. Slaughter has been playing by a new set of rules, including burning a Hulk Rules shirt. Adnan and Slaughter come in, with Adnan ranting a lot before we look at Slaughter jumping Hogan recently. Slaughter threatens to get himself disqualified or counted out in the main event. It doesn’t help that Slaughter getting disqualified or counted out was his best chance to retain the title.

Mountie vs. Tito Santana

Just in case the show hasn’t gone on long enough yet. Santana knocks him outside to start and hammers away back inside but Jimmy Hart slips Mountie the shock stick. One electrocution (and a joke about bad Mexican food from Heenan) and Santana is done at 1:21. This might be the all time definition of needless filler.

Hulk Hogan promises to use secret weapons to win the WWF Title. And no, a beating from Sgt. Slaughter isn’t slowing him down.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Slaughter, with General Adnan, is defending, Marla Maples is the guest timekeeper, Alex Trebek is the guest ring announcer and Regis Philbin is on commentary. Hogan chases Adnan and Slaughter around to start before Slaughter even takes the belt off. We then pause for Slaughter to get ready before hitting the stall button for a bit longer. They lock up (accidentally knocking the referee down) and slaughter is sent into the corner.

Back up and Hogan runs him over with a shoulder, sending the champ outside. Slaughter grabs a chair but Hogan is waiting for him. Instead they head back inside, where Slaughter pokes him in the eye to take over. Heenan has to explain some of the backstory to Regis as Hogan slugs away to put Slaughter in the corner. Some rams into the buckle keep Slaughter in trouble as this isn’t exactly thrilling so far.

There’s a backdrop to Slaughter and a running knee sends him into the corner again. A catapult into the corner sets up the raining down right hands but Slaughter knocks a diving Hogan out of the air. Hogan shrugs that off and drops a bunch of elbows before going to the top (oh dear) where Adnan’s distraction lets Slaughter slam him down. Now a chair to the back can keep Hogan down on the floor, followed by the slow beating back inside.

Slaughter complains about the speed of a two count and the referee yells right back. The Boston crab goes on, all of four inches from the rope, so Hogan tries to power out anyway. With that not working, Hogan grabs the rope to escape, which feels pretty out of character. Some knees to the back set up a top rope knee to the back but for some reason Adnan distracts the referee, allowing Hogan to kick out.

A chair to the head busts Hogan open so Slaughter pounds away on the head and grabs the camel clutch. Hogan powers up again and escapes but Slaughter sends him into the corner. Slaughter puts the Iraqi flag onto Hogan and that’s enough for the Hulk Up. Said flag is destroyed and Hogan throws the punches, setting up the big boot and leg to get the title back at 20:22. Monsoon: “The war is now officially over.”

Rating: C+. The problem here is that it isn’t a bad match, but it might be the most obvious result in the history of….well perhaps human kind. Desert Storm was already over so this was just a formality, as Slaughter was a short form champion from the second he won the belt. Hogan did his normal match here, albeit a bit longer than usual, and the Hulk Up was short even by his standards. It’s completely fine, but with the war already over, it was nowhere near the feel good, special moment they were hoping it would be.

Hogan poses and waves the American flag to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This is a show that has good pieces but DESPERATELY needed to be trimmed down. Would anyone have missed Earthquake vs. Valentine, Santana vs. Mountie or Von Erich vs. Bravo? The main event is on the lower end of Wrestlemania main events and the celebrity stuff is horrid. At the same time, Warrior vs. Savage is a classic and there is some other good stuff in there, but they really needed to cut this down by at least thirty minutes to get rid of some of the drag.

 

Ratings Comparison

Rockers vs. Haku/Barbarian

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B
2023 Redo: C+

Texas Tornado vs. Dino Bravo

Original: F
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D-
2023 Redo: D

British Bulldog vs. Warlord

Original: B-
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C-
2023 Redo: C

Nasty Boys vs. Hart Foundation

Original: C-
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: C+
2023 Redo: C

Jake Roberts vs. Rick Martel

Original: F
2013 Redo: F
2015 Redo: F-
2023 Redo: D

Undertaker vs. Jimmy Snuka

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D
2023 Redo: D+

Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A
2015 Redo: A
2023 Redo: A-

Genichiro Tenryu/Koji Kitao vs. Demolition

Original: W (For What were they thinking)
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D-
2023 Redo: D

Big Boss Man vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: C-
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C+
2023 Redo: C

Earthquake vs. Greg Valentine

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: F+
2015 Redo: D
2023 Redo: D+

Legion of Doom vs. Power and Glory

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2023 Redo: N/A

Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D+
2023 Redo: C-

The Mountie vs. Tito Santana

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2023 Redo: N/A

Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C+
2023 Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: C
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: B-
2023 Redo: C-

I’ve really come down on this one over the years and other than maybe boosting up Savage vs. Warrior a bit more, I’m not sure how I had some of those earlier ratings.

Here is the original if you’re interested:

The 2013 Edition:

And the 2015 Edition:http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/16/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-vii-no-that-isnt-a-tear-in-my-eye/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Battle Of The WWF Superstars II
Commentators: Sean Mooney, Lord Alfred Hayes
Host: Sean Mooney

This is another Coliseum Video and much like a good many of them, it really doesn’t have a theme. The previous edition was only notable for Sean Mooney doing a really bad Patton impression so hopefully they have something better this time around. You never can tell with these things though so let’s get to it.

This is from the summer of 1991.

We open with a preview of some WrestleFest 91. Randy Savage jumps in to say he’ll be hosting the tape, which wasn’t very good.

Sean Mooney is indeed the host again and the Patton stuff continues, thankfully without the voice.

We see Mooney driving up to meet his troops, promising them a lot of action.

From Orlando, Florida, February 18, 1991.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Roddy Piper

Perfect, with Bobby Heenan, is defending and this should be good. They take their time to start with Perfect spitting gum into Piper’s face, earning himself a beating out to the floor. The chase gets Perfect back inside so Piper puts the referee in the corner to start the fight. That has Perfect bailing out to the floor again before coming back inside to lose a slugout. Piper even grabs Perfect’s singlet to hold him in place for more right hands.

The singlet is ripped off, leaving Perfect in regular trunks for a weird look. Piper gets up for a double clothesline but can’t follow up, allowing Perfect to putt he singlet on again. Back up and Perfect starts choking before kicking away at the ribs. A dropkick puts Piper on the apron and it’s time to remove a turnbuckle pad. That’ll be for later apparently as they go to the pinfall reversal sequence, before a kickout crushes the referee.

Piper is sent into the exposed buckle, allowing the PerfectPlex to (eventually) get two. Another ram into the buckle is blocked and they go outside, with Piper ramming him into the steps a few times. Piper finds a belt for some whipping but Perfect sends him into the barricade. Perfect goes up top but gets crotched back out to the floor, allowing Piper to beat the count for the win at 12:18.

Rating: B. This is a case where it wasn’t about the action, which was just ok, but rather having a hot crowd and playing along with them. Piper and Perfect knew exactly what to do here and it wound up working so well. Piper could got so much out of so little and when he had someone as good as Perfect to boost it up, things got even better. Very fun match here, even if it was mostly goofy.

From New York City, New York, January 21, 1991.

Nasty Boys vs. Bushwhackers

This is the Fan Favorite match, meaning a fan requested it, and for once I can kind of believe that. Jimmy Hart is here with the Nastys as Luke and Knobbs start things off. Knobbs bails into the corner to start and everything breaks down in a hurry. The brawl sees the Nastys cleared to the ring so whacking can ensue. Back in and Sags takes over on Butch to slow things down a bit. It’s quickly back to Luke and some Battering Rams clear the ring and it’s time to march.

We settle back down to Sags getting in a chair shot to Luke so the villains can actually take over for a change. Butch is drawn in, allowing some elbows to keep Luke down. The big elbow in the corner misses for Sags though and the tag brings Butch in to clean house. Everything breaks down and Luke makes a save, only for Sags to elbow Butch and give Knobbs the pin at 7:48.

Rating: D. And then we go back in the other direction with this drek. This was every bit as bad as you would have expected, with the Bushwhackers doing their comedy and the Nastys doing their best to sell it. The problem is neither team can do much other than brawling and this was more about the comedy, which made for a rough match.

From New York City, New York, November 24, 1990.

Bret Hart vs. Barbarian

Hart is half of the Tag Team Champions at this point and it feels like these two fought a dozen times on Coliseum Video. Barbarian powers him down to start and kicks him in the head. Hart’s attempt at a comeback sees him tossed into the corner but he avoids the rope walk elbow. That lets Hart’s middle rope elbow connect and there’s the running clothesline for two more. Barbarian is right back with a powerslam before he blocks a piledriver. Instead he sits down on Hart and poses, allowing Hart to get the sunset flip for the pin at 4:10.

Rating: C. You could more or less guarantee that was going to be the finish, if nothing else due to how many times they did the EXACT SAME THING. The match itself was fine, but what are you supposed to do with a match this short? This felt like “get Hart on the card on his own” more than anything else, which was fine.

And now, trivia, asked by wrestlers! Well some of them at least.

1. What was the official symbol for Hulk Hogan’s return against Earthquake?

2. What tag team was known as the “Pink & Black Attack?”

3. Why was the Big Boss Man mad at Bobby Heenan?

4. What is Mr. Perfect’s finishing move?

5. What caused Jake Roberts to lose his vision?

Not exactly tricky here.

From Orlando, Florida, February 18, 1991.

Jake Roberts vs. Kato

Mr. Fuji and Tanaka are here too. Roberts is in some weird blue/yellow tights and that’s a very strange look for him. An early wristlock sends Kato bailing over to the ropes but Roberts stays on the arm, even lifting him up by said arm. Kato fights up and is elbowed in the face, followed by another takedown by the arm. The threat of the DDT sends Kato bailing out to the floor, only for his cheap shot to be cut off.

Another attempt at the DDT has Kato on the floor again but he’s back in a bit faster this time. Roberts runs into a knee in the corner and gets sent outside for a cane shot to the back. Tanaka gets in a shot of his own and Roberts finally gets back inside. Some left hands and the short clothesline drop Kato but Tanaka sneaks in to break up the DDT. The DDT connects a few seconds later but Tanaka comes in for the DQ at 7:04.

Rating: D-. Freaking KATO? There is something to be said about protecting wrestlers, but not only was Kato beaten, but Roberts fought all three of them off and had the match won. This was a one sided match against a villain who was in way over his head and he can’t even take a fall. I have no idea what the thinking was here but there was no reason for it to go this way.

Post match Roberts fights the team off and chases Fuji to the back with the snake.

We get a profile on Jim Duggan, meaning the soldiers now have 2x4s.

We start with Duggan in a building made of wood, where he gives us a tour of his collection of 2x4s, one of which is autographed by people with wood related named (Woody from Cheers, James Woods and the Chairman of the Board, Frank Sinatra). Ok that’s at least clever.

From New York City, New York, March 15, 1991.

Jim Duggan vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Non-title flag match and General Adnan and Hulk Hogan (in camouflage) are here too. Duggan slugs away to start and Slaughter is down in the corner early. Actually we’ll make that out to the floor, meaning it’s time to hit the stall button. Back in and they lock up, with Slaugher backing him against the ropes. That earns him a big shove and the right hands, which Duggan always made look good.

Slaughter manages to get in a kick to the face though and some choking on the ropes has Duggan in more trouble. Duggan slugs up again but gets caught in a sleeper to slow him back down. That’s only good for two arm drops before Duggan gets up and sends Slaughter into the buckle. Slaughter knocks him down again and actually goes up for a top rope knee. Hogan even gets jumped from behind, which is enough to let Slaughter go up again but get shoved down for the crash.

Hogan and Adnan just come on in, with Slaughter going outside to beat on Hogan some more. Some cable choking has Hogan down and now it’s back inside for some knee drops to Duggan. The camel clutch goes on so Adnan gets on the apron for the sole purpose of allowing Hogan to hit Slaughter with the board. Duggan eventually gets up and covers Slaughter, which draws in Adnan for the save and DQ at 14:12, because after everything else before that was fine.

Rating: C-. The match itself wasn’t good, but the heat did help a lot. At the same time, it’s rather clear that Hogan is going to win for America at Wrestlemania and Slaughter didn’t even get to look strong here. It was a long match and did feel important, but there was no hiding the fact that Slaughter was on borrowed time and everyone knew it even more this match.

Post match Slaughter and Adnan beat up Hogan and Duggan, allowing them to wave the Iraqi Flag. Slaughter leaves but forgets the title, with Adnan coming back to get it and….yep that’s going to be a beating for him. At least the American flag is waved. Wrestlemania was in 9 days so America would be avenged soon enough.

Duggan goes to a lumber yard to get some fresh 2x4s. And yes, the man who cuts his wood is named Woody. And yes, we watch the board be cut.

From Cedar Rapids, Iowa, April 16, 1991.

Jim Duggan vs. Smash

Mr. Fuji is here with Smash, who was mostly a singles wrestler at this point. They take their time to start, with Duggan of course knowing how to play to the crowd to keep them going. Smash backs him into the corner but gets clotheslined down a few times. The third sends him outside but he comes back in to take over on Duggan in the corner.

Some forearms in the corner set up a neck crank, followed by a legdrop for two. We’re back to the neck crank, which allows Duggan to fight up and slug away in the corner. That means Duggan gets to tell the referee to LAY OFF MY BACK, as was his custom. Fuji’s distraction doesn’t work and it’s the three point clothesline to finish Smash at 6:11.

Rating: C-. Well at least Duggan got the pin. It was just over Smash, who was kind of hanging around until he got something fresh at this point, but at least Duggan got the win. That’s not much of a focus on Duggan, but that’s oddly the case with a lot of these Coliseum Video profiles, which was always a weird way to go.

Mooney is lost but finds his way to the next match.

From Ft. Wayne, Indiana, October 30, 1990.

WWF Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage

Savage, with Queen Sherri, is challenging and this is a dark match from after the fourth Main Event. Warrior runs in, clotheslines him down, hits the usual, and it’s the gorilla press into the Warrior Splash to retain at 1:32. Warrior didn’t even have his face painted and commentary pointed out that something had to be wrong with Savage.

From Savannah, Georgia, January 29, 1991.

Ted DiBiase vs. Tugboat

Ok then. DiBiase tries to jump him to start but gets clotheslined outside instead. Back in and a rake to the eyes just makes Tugboat mad so he whips DiBiase into some corners. DiBiase needs a timeout on the floor and comes back in to get elbowed in the face. The elbow drop misses for Tugboat and DiBiase bails again, this time with Tugboat giving chase.

That goes as well as you would expect, with DiBiase catching him on the way back inside. Some choking has Tugboat down again and they go outside, with DiBiase choking against the barricade. Tugboat manages to post him and they go back inside for some splashes in the corner. DiBiase gets in a shot of his own and tries the Million Dollar Dream, which is broken up rather quickly. Tugboat misses a charge into the corner though and DiBiase gets a rollup for the clean pin at 6:41.

Rating: D. Another rather lame match as Tugboat is the biggest example of “I liked him when I was a kid but wow he does not hold up.” There’s just nothing to him here and DiBiase had nothing to work with, which is why they got out of there pretty quickly. The change to Typhoon would help, but there was only so much that Tugboat in any form was going to be able to do.

Mooney uses binoculars to see….the Tag Team Match Of The Month logo. Are we sure that’s not a Viewmaster?

From Chattanooga, Tennessee, January 8, 1991.

Power & Glory/Warlord vs. British Bulldog/Legion Of Doom

Slick is here with the villains. Hawk glares around a lot to start before punching Roma in the face a few times. The top rope clothesline misses though and Roma stomps away in the corner. Something resembling a dropkick sends Roma outside, where he actually takes over. Back in and Roma hits a much better looking dropkick but Hawk pops back up with a neckbreaker.

Animal and Warlord come in for the power off, with an exchange of shoulders going to a standoff. Animal’s flying clothesline (which almost goes over the head) drops Warlord and it’s off to Hercules for a clothesline of his own. Bulldog comes in and gets knocked down as well, with Warlord adding the elbow drops. Warlord ducks his head so Bulldog can get in a leapfrog but Roma cuts off a powerslam attempt. The villains take turns stomping on Bulldog until Warlord gets most of a full nelson. Bulldog starts to power out and everything breaks down….for a double DQ at 7:17.

Rating: D+. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? Power & Glory were about to lose to the LOD in less than a minute at Wrestlemania but they can’t do a job here in a six man tag off a fluke rollup or something? After the rest of this wretched tape, you would think we could have one more actual win for the good guys but nah, let’s just keep doing weak stuff like this to wrap up the tape.

Mooney wraps it up and is driven away in a jeep (or tank, according to HHH), but isn’t pleased with his driver’s abilities. Yeah seriously that’s all they have for the big closing. You’re surprised?

Overall Rating: D. Piper vs. Perfect aside, this was one of the worst tapes I can remember coming from Coliseum Video. It’s one pitiful match after another with people not being able to take a pin for whatever reason, despite this being released months later. Some of these finishes actually had me getting mad, which came after seeing some of what we were watching (Roberts vs. Kato actually being booked is amazing in its own right). Absolutely horrible stuff here, though Piper vs. Perfect is definitely worth a look.

 

 

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Royal Rumble 1992
Date: January 19, 1992
Location: Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 17,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

It’s time to get back to one of the classics as this one comes up on the request list pretty regularly. Since this is going to be my fourth time looking at it, odds are this is going to be the last time I look at it for a very good while. You probably know the big attraction by heart at this point and that should be more than enough to carry the whole thing. Let’s get to it.

We open with Vince McMahon narrating a list of Royal Rumble entrants, which does have a certain charm as he is SO into it.

Commentary runs down most of the card. There are only five matches, so a full list wouldn’t be too much to ask.

Orient Express vs. New Foundation

The Express (Kato/Tanaka) has Mr. Fuji with them. Owen and Kato start things off as Heenan ignores everything else to talk about Ric Flair in the Royal Rumble (fair enough in this case). Kato’s O’Connor roll is countered into an armbar, followed by a running hurricanrana to give Owen two. Neidhart comes in for an armbar of his own before it’s off to Tanaka for another showdown.

Tanaka bounces off of Neidhart as commentary talks about Neidhart’s questionable sanity. A spinebuster sets up Owen’s middle rope elbow as commentary finally starts talking about the match in front of them. That lasts all of ten seconds as we switch over to the Mountie winning the Intercontinental Title from a rather sick Bret Hart (not quite) at a recent house show. Heenan: “He had a 104 degree temperature. I’ve wrestled with an 113 degree temperature! It’s not that big of a deal!”

Neidhart hits a double clothesline to set up Owen’s high crossbody, followed by a spinwheel kick for two on Kato. Tanaka gets in a kick from the apron though and a Fuji cane shot lets the villains take over. Kato is back up with a jumping back elbow for two as Heenan tries to leave to consult with Flair before the Rumble. We get our first “fair to Flair” of the day as Owen does Breth’s chest first into the buckle bump. A superkick gives Tanaka two so he does it again, setting up a headbutt to the, ahem, lower abdomen (even commentary isn’t sure on that one).

Owen fights up and gets over for the tag but the referee doesn’t see it thanks to a well timed distraction (because the classics always work). Instead a belly to belly plants Tanaka for two, leaving them both down. Neidhart gets drawn in again, allowing a double clothesline for two on Owen. Another superkick drops Owen again but he gets back up with a double dropkick. The hot tag brings in Neidhart to clean house as everything breaks down. Owen hits a heck of a suicide dive on Kato, setting up the Rocket Launcher for the pin (Monsoon: “Sayonara baby!”) at 17:19.

Rating: C+. This is the kind of match that I miss in modern wrestling: take some talented people and put them in the ring together for a good while with little on the line. I get why it wouldn’t go over well today, but dang it is a nice flashback to a different era. The New Foundation wasn’t exactly as good as the Harts, but they were good enough to put in a nice effort like this one here.

We look at the Mountie defeating the sick Bret Hart to win the Intercontinental Title. Mountie kept the beatdown going after the match until Roddy Piper made the save. Another sneak attack from Mountie didn’t work, but now we have a title match.

Jimmy Hart is ECSTATIC over the Mountie winning the title. Mountie promises to beat Roddy Piper up, while taking his manhood AND his skirt.

Roddy Piper says we’re looking at one of the original Village People in the Mountie. First, Mountie wants to take Piper’s integrity, but Piper doesn’t have any! Then he’s coming for Piper’s manhood. Piper is here to wrestle, but he doesn’t know what Mountie is here to do. Tonight, Piper can win two titles and now he has to go win the first one.

Intercontinental Title: Roddy Piper vs. The Mountie

Mountie is defending and has Jimmy Hart in his corner. Piper unloads to start and Mountie bails outside fast. A Hart distraction lets Mountie get in a few shots, followed by some leapfrogs back inside. You can only do that to Piper for so long though as he sends Mountie into the buckle a few times. There’s a bulldog out of the corner as commentary bickers about how many rights Heenan has.

Hart’s distraction lets Mountie get in a few shots, including some face first rams into the buckle. A sunset flip gives Piper two as Heenan again claims the 113 degree temperature, which he survived thanks to half of a children’s Aspirin. Back up and Piper sends him over the top, only to have Mountie skin the cat. Piper sends him into an interfering Hart though, grabs the sleeper, and wins the title at 5:20.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing, but was anyone buying the Mountie as having a chance against Piper? The whole thing was a way to transition the title off of Bret to set up the eventual showdown with Piper at Wrestlemania. Piper winning a title after all those years as a star is great to see though and that was the other major point. Bad match, but a good result.

Post match Hart tries to come in with Mountie’s shock stick, which Piper takes and uses on the Mountie instead. We do get a classic Fink AND NEEEEW moment, with Piper getting to hold the title for a great moment.

Hulk Hogan is ready to win the Royal Rumble, where he won’t have any friends because he wants the WWF Title back.

The Bushwhackers and Jamison (a disturbingly nerdy guy with a bad suit and a sock sitting out of his pocket) are ready for the Beverly Sisters’ final fling. They’ll beat up the Genius too.

Bushwhackers vs. Beverly Brothers

Jamison and the Genius are here too. We hit the stall button to start, with two and a half minutes passing before the Brothers jump Luke to start the physicality. Luke fights up and bites the back of Blake’s tights, setting up a double forearm to put the Brothers outside. We settle down to Beau vs. Butch as commentary talks about Jack Tunney actually doing something lately.

Beau gets in a cheap shot to take over as commentary talks about 20,000 fans here (17,000 official, so at least it’s not that far off). Everything breaks down again and the Bushwhackers clear the ring for the second time as we are somehow almost seven minutes into this. The Beverlies both try sneaking up from behind to even less avail but this time Butch goes outside to beat up Beau. A cheap shot to Luke finally gets us into a more traditional match, with the Beverlys taking turns with the elbows. Jamison: “Stop cheating!”

A backbreaker puts Luke down again and there’s a headbutt to the back for two. Heenan rants about his tax money going to Jamison as this match just keeps going. Luke gets beaten up again as genius slaps Jamison. One shot is finally enough for Luke to get over for the tag to Butch so house can be cleaned. The Battering Ram hits Blake and a running headbutt gets two on Beau. The referee has to get Luke out though and Blake hits a top rope ax handle to pin Butch at 14:56.

Rating: D-. Yowza this was a horrible match, with nothing good in the way of wrestling, a bunch of repetitive stalling and a lame ending. This was one of the worst pay per view matches I’ve ever seen from the WWF and the time would have been better used by airing an old pinball tournament. Awful in every sense.

Post match the Bushwhackers clean house and hold Genius back so Jamison can kick him in the shin. Good for him I’m sure.

The Legion Of Doom is ready for the Natural Disasters because they’ll fight anyone. Hawk wants the Disasters’ tongues hanging out like dead deers’.

Tag Team Titles: Natural Disasters vs. Legion Of Doom

The Disasters, with Jimmy Hart, are challenging. Hawk wastes no time in swinging away at Typhoon and everything breaks down quickly. Earthquake comes in and shrugs off Hawk’s dropkick, only to miss a (decent actually) dropkick attempt of his own. Gorilla: “He wouldn’t have hit Sky Low Low with that one!” Well no, as it would have been two feet above Low Low’s head. Think Monsoon.

It’s off to Animal for a double clothesline and knockdown, followed by Animal’s failed slam attempt to put him in trouble again. That lasts all of three seconds as Typhoon comes back in and gets his arm cranked, allowing the tag back to Hawk. A backbreaker cuts Hawk down and Typhoon adds a running crotch attack to the back. The required bearhug goes on before Earthquake steps on Hawk’s ribs.

Another bearhug goes on as Heenan is trying to pay someone to go to the back to get Flair information. This one is broken up just as quickly as the other, leaving Earthquake to miss a splash in the corner. Hawk manages a middle rope elbow to the head and it’s finally off to Animal to pick up the pace. Everything breaks down and they fight to the floor, with only Typhoon beating the count back in for the win at 9:24.

Rating: D+. While it wasn’t good, this is just slightly better than the other tag match and that is what matters here. At the end of the day, the match was about setting up something in the future, even if that didn’t quite happen. The match wasn’t exactly fun to watch, as Earthquake and Typhoon are only going to be able to do so much in the ring. Throw in the LOD being a bit limited in their own right and this was about as good as it was going to get.

Post match the brawl is on and the Disasters are cleared out.

In the back, Jimmy Hart and the Disasters rant a lot.

Roddy Piper is very happy with his win and dedicates it to his son Colt.

After a clip of the famous Barber Shop split, Shawn Michaels doesn’t care that Marty Jannetty is out of the Rumble because Shawn is going to win it anyway.

Ric Flair has drawn #3 and doesn’t care, because he’s Ric Flair.

Randy Savage is ready to get back to the top of the mountain.

Sid Justice is ready to win the Royal Rumble.

Repo Man is ready to repossess the WWF Title.

British Bulldog is ready to win another battle royal, just like he won another one last year at Royal Albert Hall in London.

Jake Roberts is ready to get what he needs and beat up Randy Savage at the same time. Trust him.

Mr. Perfect and Ric Flair are ready for the latter to prove that he is the REAL World’s Champion.

Paul Bearer is ready for 29 caskets as the Undertaker is WWF Champion again.

Hulk Hogan is ready for it to be every man for himself in the Royal Rumble so he can get the title back. Hogan was sounding rather whiny and a bit paranoid here.

Jack Tunney gives us a brief welcome and says may the best man win.

WWF Title: Royal Rumble

For the vacant title (after Hulk Hogan cheated to take it back from Undertaker) with two minute intervals. British Bulldog is in at #1 and Ted DiBiase is in at #2 as Heenan is already calculating odds on Flair’s ring time. Bulldog hammers away but charges into an elbow in the corner. DiBiase grabs some suplexes as Heenan suggests going through the ropes and hiding to kill time.

Bulldog gets thrown over the top but hangs on and runs back in to toss DiBiase, leaving Heenan upset. Ric Flair is in at #3 (Heenan: “NO!” Monsoon: “YES!”), sending Monsoon into a statement about how no one from entrants #1-5 has ever made it to the end. Heenan apologizes for not being able to be objective as Bulldog grabs the gorilla press. Flair gets in a poke to the eye for a breather as Jerry Sags is in at #4.

Bulldog gets double teamed as Heenan wants Flair to go rest in the corner. A double clothesline gets Bulldog out of trouble and there’s a dropkick to get rid of Sags (Heenan: “OH NO!”). Haku is in at #5 and goes after Flair (Heenan: “WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING HAKU??? HAVE YOU GONE NUTS???” You know, because HAKU is most well known for his calm, rational demeanor), who actually takes him down and drops a knee to the head. Bulldog gets rid of Flair and Shawn Michaels is in at #6.

A superkick drops Flair fast (not yet the big time finisher) and another….lands in the general vicinity of Bulldog’s head as Heenan wants a stiff drink. We also start the weird timing as Heenan says Flair has been in over ten minutes despite the match not even going for ten minutes yet. Tito Santana is in at #7 and has Flair upside down in the corner (Heenan: “PERFECT! GET OUT HERE!”).

Flair slips out and gives Santana a belly to back suplex, followed by a low blow to Bulldog (Heenan: “I’d do that to my grandmother if I had to!”). The Barbarian is in at #8 (Heenan: “When I managed him, he barely liked me!”) and everyone brawls around without much going on. The Texas Tornado is in at #9 and goes right after Flair as Heenan is sounding increasingly desperate. Things slow down even more (fair enough) as the Repo Man is in at #10, giving us Bulldog, Flair, Michaels, Santana Barbarian, Tornado and Repo Man.

Barbarian and Flair double team Tornado and it’s Greg Valentine (in his bizarre face run) at #11. Naturally he goes right for Flair as Heenan talks about how the Perfect Plan called for Flair to go no more than 30 minutes. Flair kicks Repo Man low and it’s Nikolai Volkoff (Heenan: “300 pound Lithuanian!”) in at #11. Valentine grabs the Figure Four on Flair (Heenan….well you can just imagine) as Volkoff is tossed out to clear some of the ring. The Big Boss Man is in at #12 to pick up the energy a bit.

There goes Valentine, with Repo Man and Bulldog following him. Tornado is out as well as Heenan is begging Flair to get away from Boss Man. Santana and Michaels are both out and it’s Hercules at #13. Flair chops at Barbarian (Heenan: “NO RIC!”) and gets gorilla pressed for his efforts. Hercules dumps Barbarian (saving Flair in the process) but gets tossed as well. Boss Man clotheslines Flair but misses a charge and gets low bridged out, leaving Flair alone in the ring.

It’s Roddy Piper in at #14 and Heenan is beside himself as Flair is in even bigger trouble. Piper beats him up and takes it to the floor to keep up the beating. Back in and it’s an airplane spin into the sleeper to knock Flair mostly out. Jake Roberts is in at #15 to sit in the corner as the sleeper continues. Roberts goes after Piper (Heenan: “Thank you Jake!”) before hitting the short arm clothesline (Heenan: “You no good….”). Piper makes the save (Heenan: “It’s not a skirt! It’s a kilt!”) and Flair puts the Figure Four on Roberts. That’s broken up by Piper (Heenan: “You no good skirt wearing…..”) and it’s Jim Duggan in at #16.

Even Monsoon is praising Flair’s conditioning at this point as Heenan thinks Hulk Hogan is behind the order of entrants. Duggan punches Flair into the corner as Roberts does the same to Piper. It’s IRS in at #17 and it’s a double noggin knocker from Duggan to Roberts/Flair, giving us a Flair Flop. Jimmy Snuka is in at #18 and he still looks weird in those long tights. Heenan: “He’s wasting time!” Monsoon: “He is not!” Heenan: “I don’t know what I’m saying anymore.”

Piper chops on Flair in the corner but hands him off to Roberts, who can’t get rid of him. The Undertaker is in at #20 and Heenan is….oddly kind of calm about it. That gives us Flair, Piper, Roberts, Duggan, IRS, Snuka and Undertaker, with Snuka being tossed almost immediately. Undertaker grabs Flair by the throat, with Heenan declaring that everything is over. Duggan saves Flair and gets kicked low by Undertaker (that’s a weird visual) as Randy Savage is in at #21, meaning Roberts bails straight to the floor (not out).

Undertaker jumps Savage from behind so Piper comes back in, only to get kneed over the top by Savage. Hold on though as Savage dives over the top to go after Roberts again….but Undertaker throws Savage back inside, apparently because he wasn’t THROWN over the top. Ignore that this goes against previously established rules, but since when has that mattered? Flair stomps on Savage in the corner and hits Undertaker low, the latter of which doesn’t seem to matter.

Berzerker is in at #22 and hammers on various people as Heenan panics at Flair going after Savage. Undertaker and Piper choke Flair until Virgil is in at #23. Flair survives an Undertaker elimination attempt and it’s Colonel Mustafa in at #24. Monsoon refers to Flair as “Martel” twice, even as Duggan punches Flair in the face. Piper beats on Flair in the corner and it’s Rick Martel in at #25.

Heenan thinks some of the bigger names have gotten some great luck in the drawing, again forgetting an announcement on Superstars that some of the bigger names were guaranteed later numbers. Mustafa is out and everyone brawls….until Hulk Hogan is in at #26 (Heenan: “OH MY GOD NO!”). The brawl is on again as Heenan starts bargaining with God to let Heenan win. Hogan gets rid of Undertaker and Berzerker back to back with Virgil and Duggan going out at the same time.

Skinner is in at #27 as Heenan thinks Flair should be the Real World’s Champion no matter what. Sgt. Slaughter is in at #28 as Skinner is out. Hogan and Piper go at it, with Monsoon sounding almost surprised because they’re friends, despite having one of the most famous rivalries in wrestling history. Flair officially sets the all time record as Sid Justice is in at #29 to quite the reaction.

More brawling ensues as Warlord is in at #30, giving us a final grouping of Flair, Piper, IRS, Savage, Martel, Hogan, Slaughter, Sid and Warlord. Hogan slams Flair at the top and they both roll outside (not eliminated) to fight some more outside. Sid dumps Slaughter as Monsoon can’t believe that Flair is still here. Granted he also thinks Flair has been here for an hour when we’re still coming up on an hour into the match.

Piper pulls IRS out by the tie and Sid dumps Warlord to get us down to six. Sid gets rid of Martel and Piper, leaving us with Savage, Sid, Hogan and Flair, which makes me want to play Super Wrestlemania. There goes Savage as well, leaving Hogan to punch Flair over the top. Hogan goes to dump him but Sid tosses Hogan instead. Ever the nice guy, Hogan grabs Sid’s arm because “you stole my belt”, allowing Flair to dump Sid (with Hogan’s help) for the win and the title at 1:02:02. Heenan: “YESx50!”

Rating: A. Yes it’s still great and it still works as well as probably any Rumble would for almost ten more years. Flair has a great performance in setting the record and never once seeming like he was laying around for any extended period of time. You also have a star studded lineup with all kinds of people feeling like dark horse candidates, meaning there was little down time. Then of course there’s Heenan, who has the call of a lifetime as you can picture him losing his mind at everything falling apart. Monsoon laughing at Heenan when Flair comes out early but then respecting Flair by the end is great too, making this a masterpiece.

Post match Hogan and Sid bicker a lot, setting up Wrestlemania. I remember watching this at around four years old and wondering why Hogan was upset when he was eliminated without breaking any rules. There was no reason for him to be angry over this and he was just whining.

In the back, Jack Tunney presents Ric Flair with the title, allowing Flair to give the incredible “with a tear in my eye” speech, talking about how this is the title that matters the most in the world. Flair, Perfect and Heenan all WOO in celebration. Perfect: “We’re not the kind of guys to say we told you so but….we told you so!” After Flair cracks up at that one (and Gene gets in the infamous “PUT THAT CIGARETTE OUT!”), Gene signs off and sends us to the highlight package to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. This is a weird show as the main event is the ONLY thing that matters (though the Piper title win was a very nice moment) and everything else is pretty minor. The problem is one of those two matches is horrible and another is pretty bad, bringing the overall rating down a bit. That being said, this is the definition of a one match show and there is little reason to watch anything but the Intercontinental Title match and the main event. One is a feel good moment and the other is an all time classic, so we’ll call this quite the success.

WWF, 2022, 1992, Redo, Royal Rumble, New Foundation, Orient Express, Mountie, Roddy Piper, Jimmy Hart, Hulk Hogan, Bushwhackers, Beverly Brothers, Jamison, The Genius, Natural Disasters, Legion Of Doom, Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan, Sid Justice, Randy Savage, Undertaker

Ratings Comparison

New Foundation vs. Orient Express

Original: C+
2013 Redo: B-
2018 Redo: C
2023 Redo: C+

The Mountie vs. Roddy Piper

Original: B
2013 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D
2023 Redo: D+

Beverly Brothers vs. Bushwhackers

Original: F+
2013 Redo: T (The Worst Match In Royal Rumble History)
2018 Redo: F
2023 Redo: D-

Legion of Doom vs. Natural Disasters

Original: D
2013 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D
2023 Redo: D+

Royal Rumble

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A
2018 Redo: A-
2023 Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2018 Redo: B
2023 Redo: A-

I’m pretty much done with this show after this one, though it’s still rather great.

WWE Vault Grab Bag II
Commentators: Dean Hill, Kenny Bolin, Lenny Leonard, Bryce Remsburg, Chris Cruise, Mike Tenay, Jim Cornette

So this is one of my favorite things to do, as the WWE Vault releases a bunch of matches on a regular basis. In this case, there are enough that I can do a few collections, as I’m basically making my own playlists. There is no running theme for these matches and they’re just whatever I happen to pick. Let’s get to it.

From August 22, 2008, a dark match before Smackdown/ECW.

Takeshi Morishima vs. Jamie Noble

Tony Atlas is here to introduce Morishima, who is a power guy and former Ring Of Honor World Champion. Morishima runs him over to start and knocks Noble into the corner. Noble tries to fight back with a few shots to the head, including an enziguri to stagger Morishima. That just earns Noble a Boss Man Slam into a neck crank, followed by a big leg for two. Morishima picks him up at two and adds a big Saito suplex for the pin at 3:03 (with the announcer naming him “Orishimo”).

Rating: C. This wasn’t quite a squash for Morishima but it was close enough, as he looked dominant. You don’t get to see someone with his size and athleticism very often and it makes sense that WWE would be interested. Morishima looked good out there and it would be nice to see more of him in WWE, if nothing else due to him using the old Orient Express theme. Because of course.

From August 18, 2008, a dark match before Raw (I have no idea why they went out of order).

Takeshi Morishima vs. Charlie Haas

Haas yells at the fans to start and gets sent face first into the buckle for his efforts. The big leg connects but Haas manages to snap his arm over the top rope. That doesn’t seem to matter as it’s a Boss Man Slam to drop Haas, followed by a missile dropkick for the pin at 2:36.

From July 29, 1995, a dark match at a Superstars taping.

Bret Hart vs. Hakushi

In a cage. Hakushi jumps him to start fast and strikes away, only to get knocked back down. Hart goes for the climb out but gets pulled back down rather quickly. That lets Hakushi go up but Hart pulls him down and climbs as well. Hakushi cuts that off just as fast and strikes away on the top. They get back down and Hart whips him into the corner, followed by a bulldog.

It’s too early for Hart to get through the door though and Hakushi starts in on his leg. A ram into the cage lets Hakushi make a rather slow climb, which Hart cuts off with a DDT. Hart still can’t get out and Hakushi goes for the leg again, only to get pulled back inside as well. That lets Hart climb up a lot faster than before but Hakushi grabs him by the hair for a rather painful looking stop.

A backbreaker drops Hakushi but the middle rope elbow misses (you don’t see that very often). Hakushi’s top rope headbutt misses just as well so Hart turns him inside out with a clothesline. They take turns pulling the other down again and there’s a hard whip to send Hart chest first into the buckle. He’s right back up though and it’s a superplex off the cage for the big crash, leaving them both down. With Hakushi barely able to move, Hart manages to escape for the win at 12:31.

Rating: B-. For a dark match, this turned into something pretty good and the superplex was a nice surprise. They started slowly but eventually it picked up with more intensity and hard hitting. These two always had good chemistry together and it was on display again, which is cool for a less than readily available match.

From OVW TV, June 23, 2007.

CM Punk/Cody Runnels vs. Shawn Spears/Jay Bradley

Runnels (Rhodes of course) is distracted by Spears to start and gets hiptossed by Bradley. That’s broken up and Runnels goes after Spears again, only to kick Bradley in the face. A fall away slam sends Runnels flying into the corner for the tag to Punk, meaning trash can be talked. Punk strikes away to knock him into the corner and Spears realizes the tag means he’s in trouble.

Runnels gets the tag as well and Spears runs straight to the floor (apparently they kind of hate each other). Spears crawls back inside and hands it off to Bradley, who sends Punk into the corner. Now Spears is willing to come in and gets knocked down, allowing Runnels to come in and chase Spears to the floor. Punk cuts that off but Bradley comes in to jump Runnels from behind.

We take a break and come back with Bradley hammering on Runnels, which is enough for Spears to come in and stomp away. Runnels fights up so it’s immediately back to Bradley for a chinlock. Spears comes back in and goes after Punk, drawing him in so Runnels can be double teamed in a perfectly logical cheating sequence. The drop down shot to the face allows the tag off to Punk, who is in to clean house.

The running knees in the corner set up a bulldog/clothesline combination, followed by the springboard clothesline for two on Bradley. Cue Michael W. Kruel to pull the referee out, allowing Spears to get in a cheap shot on Punk. Runnels is back in with a strap to Spears’ back (before their strap match in a few days) so here are Spears’ goons to be dispatched. Runnels straps Spears to the back, leaving Punk to Anaconda Vice Bradley for the tap at 11:26 (earning Punk a shot at Bradley’s OVW Title in the process).

Rating: B-. Perfectly nice match here, with the all star team overcoming the odds to get some revenge and a title shot at the same time. That’s a case where simple storytelling works out well and I liked what we got here. Punk was red hot in OVW but he was already up on the main roster at this point, so he was pretty much just visiting here. The results worked out though as he and Rhodes always work well together.

From Evolve 17.

Sami Zayn gives us a quick introduction, as he got to pick the match. This just happens to involve someone he has been compared to a lot over the years.

El Generico vs. Samuray del Sol

Sol is better known as Kalisto. They fight over arm control to start and go to the mat, meaning it’s time to exchange flip ups. Generico grabs a headlock into a chinlock before working on the arm. A wristdrag takes Sol down but he flips out of a hurricanrana and Generico isn’t sure what to do. Generico’s running shoulder drops So and he springboards over Sol into some more armdrags.

Some chops in the corner seem to wake Sol up as he walks on his hands into a headscissors. A slingshot 450 gives Sol two and he bends Generico over his back for quite the painful visual. That’s broken up and Generico hits a clothesline but Sol is back with another headscissors. A rather springboardy wristdrag sends Generico outside and there’s the step up corkscrew dive to drop him again.

Back in and Generico exploders him into the corner, where the Helluva Kick is cut off. What would become known as the Salida del Sol gives Sol two but Generico is back with the Blue Thunder Bomb for two more. Generico’s Michinoku Driver gets two more so Sol steps onto his back for a Code Red. The Rising Sun (poisonrana) gives Sol two but a super version is countered with a facebuster onto the turnbuckle. The Helluva Kick into the turnbuckle brainbuster gives Generico the pin at 14:08.

Rating: B+. I can see why Zayn picked this, as Generico and Sol were both working rather hard out there and put on a heck of a match. That’s the point of something like this as it was not only the show’s main event but also a rubber match. It made things feel that much bigger and they lived up to the hype. Pretty awesome match here and a sign of what they would be able to do on the big stage.

From AAA When Worlds Collide.

Fuerza Guerrera/Madonna’s Boyfriend/Psicosis vs. Rey Mysterio/Heavy Metal/Latin Lover

Mysterio is only 19 here and this is described as his Breakout Match. Guerrera and company (the rudos here) clear the ring to start before we can even get the introductions. Guerrera and Metal start things off with an exchange of armdrags before Psicosis comes in to clothesline Mysterio. The top rope hurricanrana sends Psicosis bailing up the aisle and it’s Boyfriend (Louie Spicolli, who towers over Mysterio) comes in and picks Mysterio up.

That doesn’t last long and it’s off to Lover for an exchange of running shoulders. A superkick drops Boyfriend and it’s back to Psicosis for a clothesline to Metal. They grab stereo faceplants for a double down and Mysterio comes in, only to get hit in the face by Guerrera. Mysterio sends Guerrera outside for a dive, leaving Lover to send Psicosis into the corner.

Back in and Guerrera hits Lover low, only for Metal to come in with a low blow of his own. That doesn’t work for Boyfriend, who gorilla presses Mysterio over the barricade for a crash into the crowd. The villains get to double team Lover but Mysterio comes back in to give Psicosis a faceplant. Guerrera gets powerbombed out of the corner but Lover misses a top rope splash. Everything breaks down and we get a parade of dropkicks to the floor but Metal misses a Swanton to Guerrera. A seated armbar makes Metal tap at 13:40.

Rating: B. It’s much more in the lucha libre style, which wasn’t a thing in America at this point. That was the entire point of this show and it absolutely worked, as they were displaying something that had fans rather impressed. I can definitely see why Mysterio’s performance was so well received, as he looked like a star in the making, which is absolutely what he would be in just a few more years.

From May 13, 2003, a dark match before Smackdown/Velocity.

CM Punk introduces this one, talking about how he had wrestled a dark match the previous night and been unofficially banned from WWE for being unsafe. He showed up anyway and was asked if he wanted to face the Road Warriors. Apparently that was quite the affirmative.

CM Punk/Doug Delicious vs. Legion Of Doom

We’re joined in progress with Hawk throwing Delicious around and handing it off to Punk, who jumps Animal for some reason. This goes as well as expected, with Animal hitting a hard clothesline and a powerslam. Hawk misses a running charge into the post though, allowing Punk to get two off a snap suplex. We’re clipped (in a dark match) to Hawk hitting a double clothesline as everything breaks down. The Doomsday Device finishes Delicious at 2:44 shown (possibly out of 4:14 total). Actually not a squash and LOD looked decent enough.

From OVW TV, January 19, 2002.

Prototype vs. Randy Orton

As you probably know, the Prototype (with Kenny Bolin) is an early (and evil) John Cena. Orton sends him into the corner to start and gets two off a crossbody. A powerslam gives Orton two more as Cornette gives the hard sell for the Last Dance later this month. Prototype sends him hard into the corner for two and a sidewalk slam gets two more.

A pair of snap suplexes give Prototype two but Orton catches him on top. The ensuing superplex gives Orton two so Bolin gets on the apron. Some powder only hits the referee though so here is Rico Constantino to jump Orton as well. Bobby Eaton of all people comes in to go after Constantino and then jumps Prototype for the DQ at 6:32.

Rating: C. The match was pretty much just there, but it’s more of an historical curiosity than anything else. Cena and Orton have one of the most legendary rivalries in WWE history and seeing them both at such a young age is rather odd to see. They would get a lot better, but this was hardly a bad match, especially for developmental television.

From Dragon Gate USA Open The Ultimate Gate 2013 (the Wrestlemania XXIX weekend show).

Johnny Gargano introduces this one and it’s a bit different.

Open The Freedom Gate Title: Johnny Gargano vs. Shingo

Gargano is defending. They stare each other down to start as the fans want Shingo (better known as Shingo Takagi) to do bad things to Gargano. A battle of arm control takes them to the mat with Shingo working on the leg to limited avail. Gargano goes to the arm so Shingo gets to the ropes, allowing him to start another arm control battle. Gargano’s chops don’t work but Shingo’s certainly does, allowing Shingo to grab a headlock. A suplex puts Gargano down and it’s a backsplash for two, setting up a neck crank.

Back up and they slug it out, with Gargano not being able to get the Gargano Escape. Shingo sends him into the corner but gets caught with a quick hurricanrana. Gargano grabs a double arm crank and leans back onto the arm for a rather painful visual. A neckbreaker gives Gargano two and he actually wins a strike exchange by elbowing Shingo down in the corner. It’s back to working on the arm to keep Shingo in trouble, with a cradle even getting two.

The Gargano Escape is broken up with pure power and a clothesline sends Gargano outside. Shingo strikes away against the barricade and boots Gargano into the crowd, which is never a good idea. A superkick gets Gargano out of trouble and he runs back inside for quite the suicide dive. It works so well that Gargano does it again, only to charge into a Death Valley Driver on the floor (which probably won’t have the effect that it should).

Naturally Gargano beats the count back in, where a neckbreaker and sliding lariat give Shingo two. A slingshot DDT plants Shingo for two more and the fans are a lot more split. One heck of a clothesline puts Gargano down again and another pop up Death Valley Driver gives us a double breather. More clotheslines don’t even put Gargano down so he pulls on the Gargano Escape.

That’s broken up again and they go up top, where Shingo’s superbomb is countered into a super hurricanrana for two. The lawn dart gives Gargano another near fall and he can’t believe the kickout. They slug it out from their knees and then their feet until Shingo hits a Saito suplex and a hard clothesline for another double down. Shingo is up first with a super Death Valley Driver for two but Made In Japan is countered into the Hurts Donut (spinning full nelson faceplant).

The Gargano Escape sends Shingo over to the rope as we get a PLEASE DON’T STOP chant. Shouldn’t it be PLEASE DON’T GET PINNED OR SUBMIT TO CAUSE THE MATCH TO END? Made In Japan gives Shingo two more and the hue running clothesline gets an even nearer fall. Another Death Valley Driver gets another two and the referee gets bumped. That means it’s a low blow to drop Shingo and Gargano whips out a rope to choke him into the Gargano Escape to retain at 33:27.

Rating: B+. It’s an excellent back and forth match, but dang I was having some trouble buying that Gargano was surviving all of this. That’s been an issue of his for longer than I can remember and it was certainly true again here. Shingo definitely had the skill to back up his reputation and he felt like a big get for a show of this magnitude.

From February 7, 1993 at a WCW house show. This isn’t a complete match but it’s certainly some awesome sounding footage.

Dustin Rhodes/Ricky Steamboat/Shane Douglas vs. Steve Austin/Brian Pillman/Barry Windham

This is an elimination match and we’re joined in progress with Austin working on Steamboat. A suplex gives Austin one and he drops Steamboat with a clothesline to cut off a comeback attempt. Austin hits a side slam as I don’t see any partners anywhere around. Some slams stay on the back and Austin grabs a bearhug, which isn’t something you see him do very often.

With that broken up, Austin makes the mistake of spitting on Steamboat, which triggers the comeback you’re probably expecting. A top rope superplex sends Austin crashing down hard for a rather delayed two but he reverses a Tombstone into one of his own for two more. Austin goes up (this can’t end well) and Steamboat rolls through a high crossbody for the pin at 4:37 shown. Not enough shown to rate as the whole match is about 25 minutes, but these two always worked well together.

Post match Pillman runs in for the beatdown, with Windham making the save. The big brawl goes outside, with Douglas coming back in to drop Pillman onto the barricade. More wrestlers (including 2 Cold Scorpio in a Ribera shirt) can’t break it up either and the brawl continues. Johnny B. Badd and I think William (Lord Steven at the time) Regal are in there but can’t get very far either. Things finally settle down but Pillman chop blocks Douglas in the aisle and the pain is real to end things. Good match, very hot post match brawl.

From December 15, 1996, a dark match after In Your House: It’s Time.

Shawn Michaels vs. Mankind

We’re a few months after their famous match at Mind Games and Paul Bearer is here with Mankind. Michaels jumps Mankind to start on the floor and then takes him inside to hammer away. The discus lariat puts Michaels down and some right hands drop him in the corner. Michaels is sent into the steps and choked on the ropes as Mankind gets in the creepy “COME ON SEXY BOY!”.

The Mandible Claw is blocked and Michaels manages a belly to back suplex. The flying forearm lets Michaels nip up…and go right into the Mandible Claw. Well that didn’t work. They crash out to the floor, where a nasty ram into the steps is enough to get Michaels free. Mankind’s hand is sent into the steps and the top rope elbow connects inside. Bearer’s distraction lets Mankind get the urn but Michaels superkicks him down for the win at 6:56.

Rating: C+. It’s a dark match so you’re only going to get so much out of it, but it could have been far worse. These two could have a good match in their sleep and while this wasn’t quite that, it was hardly some great match that tore the house down. It doesn’t help that they had such a classic the previous time so the expectations were probably high, even though it wound up being the Cliffnotes version.

From May 5, 1993, a dark match at a Wrestling Challenge taping.

Harlem Knights vs. Tony DeVito/Mike Bell

The Knights are better known as Men On A Mission and this is their tryout match. They’re already doing the wave as Bobby (Mo) backs DeVito into the corner to start. That means more waving and an armdrag before it’s off to Nelson (Mabel), who trades hammerlocks with DeVito. Thankfully Nelson finally wakes up and realizes HE’S A GIANT AND SHOULDN’T BE DOING HAMMERLOCKS and grabs a chokebomb.

Bobby comes back in for a double elbow and we’re clipped ahead about six seconds (I’m guessing something a fan said/did) to Bell kicking Nelson low to escape another hammerlock. Nelson no sells some forearms and hits a World’s Strongest Slam, setting up the double splash for the pin at 4:49.

Rating: D. How in the world did this get them hired? Bobby barely did anything other than the waving deal and Nelson was trading hammerlocks with and selling punches from someone half his size. I could see how the team could be fun, but they completely missed the point…and then got signed anyway. Of course they did.

Overall Rating: B-. This is exactly the kind of thing I love doing with the WWE Vault, as you never know what kind of awesome stuff you might find. I just picked a bunch of matches here and watched them mostly straight through in a kind of do it yourself playlist. It’s by no means a regular playlist or anything close, but there is some stuff in there that is worth a look. I’ll definitely be doing this again, as just seeing what they had next was more than worth the time.

 

 

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Survivor Series 1990
Date: November 22, 1990
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Roddy Piper

I haven’t looked at this one in a long time so we might as well do it here. This is a big one from a historical stance, with an all time debut and something that is much more infamous than anything else. Other than that, we have the usual Survivor Series matches, plus an idea that they never used again. Let’s get to it.

We get the rather cool squares intros, showing all of the matches tonight, including the team names, which always add a nice flavor to the whole thing.

So the other deal here is that we have the Grand Finale Match of Survival, where the winners will face off again in a final Survivor Series match. Yeah I don’t get the point either.

The Ultimate Warriors promise to win. Well in theory that’s what Warrior says, as he rambles on about sacrifice and forming a bond with no medicine being able to cure what they have. I think.

Ultimate Warriors vs. Perfect Team

Ultimate Warriors: Ultimate Warrior, Texas Tornado, Legion Of Doom
Perfect Team: Mr. Perfect, Demolition

Mr. Fuji and Bobby Heenan are here with the villains. They take their sweet time settling down until Animal tackles Smash to start fast. A shot to the ribs slows Animal down and it’s Perfect coming in to stay on said ribs. Animal powerslams his way out of trouble and gets in an atomic drop, allowing the double tag to Von Erich and Ax (whose hair isn’t slicked back and who pretty clearly doesn’t want to be anywhere near this show). The Claw has Ax in trouble and it’s off to Warrior for the shoulder and splash for the elimination at 3:24. That’s the last you would see of Ax in the WWF ever again, and he can’t get out of the ring fast enough.

Crush comes in to clothesline Warrior but it’s off to Hawk to choke Perfect. One heck of a missed charge hits the post though and Demolition gets to hammer on Hawk. That doesn’t last long as Hawk is back up with a top rope clothesline and everything breaks down. The referee isn’t playing with this one and disqualifies the Legion of Doom and Demolition at 7:45, leaving us with Perfect vs. Warrior/Tornado. Piper: “I’M WRITING IT DOWN!”

Warrior comes in but Perfect wants Tornado, who comes in and knocks Perfect over the top. Perfect needs a breather on the floor so Warrior sends him into Heenan. Back in and Perfect avoids a charge into the post before going to the eyes to really keep Tornado in trouble. A ram into an exposed buckle into the PerfectPlex finishes Tornado at 11:05 and we’re one on one.

Warrior comes in and gets PerfectPlexed for two, but because it’s a finisher, he’s down for a bit. A clothesline gets two, with Warrior’s kickout sending Perfect onto the referee. That doesn’t have an impact this time as Warrior fights up and starts the clothesline comeback. The shoulder and splash finish Perfect for the win at 14:21.

Rating: D+. This was just lame in every sense of the word, as they never bothered to put in any effort, the double DQ was just lazy, and the ending was never in doubt as the villains were fighting from behind for most of the match. It was clear that Warrior had nothing to do at the moment and Perfect wasn’t a serious challenger. Pretty awful match here and still one of the worst in the show’s history.

The Million Dollar Team is ready to win, even with their absent mystery partner.

Dream Team vs. Million Dollar Team

Dream Team: Dusty Rhodes, Hart Foundation, Koko B. Ware
Million Dollar Team: Ted DiBiase, Rhythm And Blues, ???

So this is a famous one as DiBiase (Virgil) brings out the mystery partner, complete with his own manager Brother Love, the Undertaker. And this is immediately a hit, with Piper getting in the famous line of “LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT HAMHOCK!” This is one of those cases where everyone collectively went “….whoa” as you don’t see something like this very often and the people knew it.

Hart and Undertaker start things off and the proto chokeslam takes Hart down. Neidhart comes in and is immediately slammed so it’s off to Ware, who is piledriven (Monsoon: “He just got hit with the Tombstone!”) for the elimination at 1:45, instantly making Undertaker look like an absolute monster. Hart comes in and hammers away, so Undertaker glares at him and tags out in an almost eerie moment. The good guys start taking over on Valentine’s arm but he gets a knee up in the corner to cut Hart off. Honky Tonk Man comes in and is promptly powerslammed to give Neidhart the elimination at 4:24.

It’s off to DiBiase to hammer on Neidhart (makes sense on an Anvil), who fights up for the tag to the (non polka-dotted) Dusty. Elbows and a dropkick have DiBiase in trouble so it’s back to Neidhart, who gets tripped by Virgil. That’s enough for DiBiase to hit a clothesline for the elimination at 5:57, because people get pinned by clotheslines at the Survivor Series.

Hart comes back in and stomps away in the corner before Rhodes comes in and gets dropped with a shot to the face. It’s back to Undertaker, who chokes Hart in the corner but hands it back to DiBiase, who gets atomic dropped. Rhodes comes back in and gets dropped again, with Undertaker hitting a top rope ax handle to pin Rhodes at 8:33. Undertaker throws Rhodes over the top so Love can stomp away. That earns him a stalking to the back, with Undertaker following and getting counted out at 9:26, as they had to do something to avoid him getting pinned in his debut.

So it’s Hart vs. Valentine/DiBiase, but Hart small packages Valentine for the pin at 10:02 to get us down to one on one. Hart wastes no time in knocking DiBiase outside for a slingshot dive and a posting. Back in and Hart hammers away in the corner but DiBiase is back up with some chops. Hart seems to hurt his leg running the ropes, but it’s the not yet standard goldbricking so he can roll DiBiase up for two. Hart gets two off the middle rope elbow and tries a crossbody, with DiBiase rolling through for the final pin at 14:02.

Rating: B. This was a tale of two star making performances as Hart (who was dedicating the match to his brother, who had passed away the day before) had another one of those showings that made you know he was going to be something special. That being said, there’s a reason the Undertaker’s debut is one of the best ever, as sweet goodness he looked like an absolute star and you knew it was something special. Granted I don’t think anyone could have guessed how special, but it’s still effective over thirty five years later, so they’re definitely onto something.

Hart yelling F*** into the camera after the fall is oddly missing here.

The Vipers are in the shower and ready for a bunch of individual battles in their team match.

Vipers vs. Visionaries

Vipers: Jake Roberts, Rockers, Jimmy Snuka
Visionaries: Rick Martel, Power and Glory, Warlord

This is built around Martel blinding Roberts with his arrogance cologne. Snuka is looking horrible here, with a huge afro and a not so great looking face. Jannetty and the Warlord start things off, meaning Piper can make I Am The Walrus jokes. Warlord misses a charge into the corner to start but is fine enough to shrug off some dropkicks. Jannetty picks up thee pace with some right hands and Shawn clotheslines Warlord into a sunset flip.

Martel comes in and gets hiptossed into a dropkick with Martel bailing out to the floor. Roberts grabs a wristlock on Roma and it’s quickly off to Hercules vs. Snuka. The rapid fire tags bring Jannetty back in to hammer on Warlord, who powerslams him out of the air (that looked great) for the pin at 5:19.

Michaels comes in with a hurricanrana before it’s back to Roberts for a clothesline to put Warlord down. One heck of a backdrop sends Michaels flying and Hercules drops him with a clothesline. A hard whip into the corner gets two on Michaels but he avoids a charge into the post. Snuka comes in to unload in the corner before firing off a middle rope crossbody, but Martel rolls through and grabs tights for the pin at 9:46.

Roberts comes in to go after Martel, who hands it off to Hercules, much to Roberts’ annoyance. The threat of a DDT sends Hercules bailing out to the floor and a cheap shot (as Roberts can barely see) takes Roberts down. Roma misses a top rope fist drop though and it’s back to Michaels (who was injured by Power & Glory). A middle rope elbow gets two on Roma but Hercules comes in off a blind tag to deck him from behind. Hercules drops him with a gorilla press and the PowerPlex makes it 4-1 at 15:17.

Warlord wastes no time with a bearhug but Roberts gets out. Since 4-1 isn’t enough, Roma offers a distraction so the referee doesn’t see the DDT….or Martel spraying Roberts with Arrogance. That’s enough for Roberts, so he grabs Damien and chases Martel (not legal, so not eliminated) to the back for the countout to wrap it up at 17:04.

Rating: C-. While not as bad as the opener, this was another boring match with pretty much nothing going on. Martel and company weren’t a good team but they were running through the Vipers like they weren’t even there. Michaels was his usual good self, but Snuka looked ancient, Jannetty wasn’t there long enough, and Roberts hit his one move. Another bad match as this show is remembered for one good thing for a reason.

The Hulkamaniacs have been surviving for a long time and now it’s time to do it again here. They also dedicate the match to the armed forces and are ready to go fight Saddam Hussein.

Hulkamaniacs vs. Natural Disasters

Hulkamaniacs: Hulk Hogan, Tugboat, Jim Duggan, Big Boss Man
Natural Disasters: Earthquake, Dino Bravo, Haku, Barbarian

Jimmy Hart and Bobby Heenan are here with the villains as commentary tries to figure out the lineup for the Grand Finale match. How do you know that Rick Martel is going to be a heel? Maybe he’s a Little Warrior. Big pop for Hogan too, as there was something left to this Hulkamania thing. Piper: “What are they chanting?” Gorilla: “Hogan!” Piper: “That might have been the dumbest question I’ve asked in 1990.”

Duggan and Haku slug it out to start until Haku misses a middle rope crossbody (oh geez he can fly too). Duggan’s elbow misses as well so it’s off to Bravo for an atomic drop. Boss Man comes in to slug away on Haku, who hits a dropkick to cut him off. That earns him the Boss Man Slam and Haku is out at 3:15. Boss Man kicks Barbarian in the face but goes after Heenan, allowing Barbarian to come back with a belly to back suplex. Duggan comes in but gets powered into the corner by Earthquake, who isn’t about to be slammed. Instead Duggan grabs the 2×4 to chase Hart but stops to hit Earthquake for the DQ at 6:12.

Hogan comes in to slam all three villains and hammers away at Earthquake in the corner. That’s broken up and Earthquake plants him down, allowing Bravo to drop an elbow. Hogan goes technical though and small packages Bravo for the pin at 8:00 as the villains are playing from behind again. Boss Man comes in to slug away at Earthquake….who catches a high crossbody in mid air. Sweet goodness that’s insane. Hogan breaks it up but Barbarian gets in a cheap shot from the apron. Some elbow drops get rid of Boss Man at 9:10 to get us down to 2-2, with even commentary forgetting that Tugboat was there.

Hogan hammers on Earthquake but can’t slam him this time. He can bring in Tugboat though and the brawl with Earthquake goes to the floor for the double countout at 11:34, making it Hogan vs. Barbarian. The slow beating is on and a not great piledriver gives Barbarian two. A double clothesline leaves both of them down and it’s Barbarian up first with his big clothesline. Hogan fights up and the big boot into the legdrop finishes at 14:50.

Rating: C. And that’s the second best match of the night. This was Hogan and his friends doing Hogan’s greatest hits against a pretty generic group of villains. You could see that the magic was wearing off with Hogan as he didn’t have a top opponent (after beating Earthquake at Summerslam) and the match was only so exciting. Beating Earthquake by countout on back to back pay per views didn’t help either.

Hogan beats up Heenan for fun.

Here is Randy Savage to be annoyed at being accused of….eating Thanksgiving dinner? Either way, he’s after the Ultimate Warrior and the WWF Title, because it is being held by the Ultimate Chicken. Queen Sherri did NOT do his fighting for him when he slapped the Warrior because he is the greatest Superstar of all time.

Alliance vs. Mercenaries

Alliance: Nikolai Volkoff, Tito Santana, Bushwhackers
Mercenaries: Sgt. Slaughter, Boris Zhukov, Orient Express

Before the match, Slaughter mocks the American troops in the Middle East for not having a good Thanksgiving dinner. Piper is TICKED over this, to the point where I’m surprised he and Slaughter never had a title match. Butch hammers on Zhukov to start and it’s off to Santana for the flying forearm and the pin at 50 seconds. As the heels are behind AGAIN. The Battering Ram gets rid of Sato at 1:51 as they’re making it pretty clear that this match doesn’t need to be a Survivor Series match because a bunch of people are going to be gone fast.

Tanaka kicks Butch down and misses a headbutt, meaning it’s another forearm to make it 4-1 at 2:11. Volkoff comes in to hammer away in the corner but gets dropped with a clothesline. Some elbow drops begin the slow beatdown, capped off with another elbow for the pin at 5:26. The Bushwhackers are in with a double clothesline but Luke’s top rope splash hits knees. A gutbuster gives Slaughter the pin at 6:32 and Butch is out to a clothesline at 6:55.

So it’s Santana vs. Slaughter with Santana coming in off the top with a forearm to take over. Slaughter is right back with a neckbreaker and a backbreaker gets two. A suplex gives Slaughter a delayed two but the referee gets bumped. Santana hits the forearm but General Adnan comes in with the flag shot for the DQ to end this at 10:35.

Rating: D+. This show is terrible and there isn’t much of a way to hide it. It was clear that this needed to be Santana vs. Slaughter, as the match would have been better and let us skip six eliminations in about seven minutes. At the same time, Slaughter wasn’t feeling like a top heel here and there wasn’t much of a way around it.

Ted DiBiase and the Visionaries are ready for Hulk Hogan, Ultimate Warrior and Tito Santana, because Warrior and Hogan had issues just a few months ago at Wrestlemania.

And now, it’s time for the egg to hatch. Yeah there has been a big egg for weeks and it finally hatches to reveal….a humanoid turkey thing which Gene Okerlund dubs the Gobbledy Gooker. He and Gene go to the ring to dance and the fans boo this out of the building, as it’s just a big waste of time that adds nothing. The idea was to make a fun mascot for kids but that could have been covered by someone like Jim Duggan in a costume. Also, when you’re expecting anything interesting and get…whatever this was. This is an all time disaster and it has become a running joke for almost forty years as a result.

Hulk Hogan, Ultimate Warrior and Tito Santana don’t think they’re behind because the Hulkamaniacs are in their corner.

Hulk Hogan/Tito Santana/Ultimate Warrior vs. Visionaries/Ted DiBiase

Santana forearms Warlord for the pin at 24 seconds. Roma powerslams Santana down and DiBiase comes in with a suplex for two. Santana misses the forearm and gets caught with a hot shot for the pin at 1:52. Hogan comes in to hammer on DiBiase but Hercules comes in to get a few shots of his own. The villains keep taking turns hammering on Hogan as even Piper is telling him to get it together already. DiBiase gets two off a fist drop but the PowerPlex triggers the Hulk Up.

The clothesline finishes Roma at 5:39 so Martel comes in for the ineffective hammering. Hogan kicks him down and hands it off to Warrior who slams Martel a few times, allowing Hogan to clothesline Martel to the floor for a countout at 7:23. It’s down to DiBiase/Hercules, which would be a lot more interesting about two years ago. Hogan powers DiBiase into the corner, hits the boot and drops the leg to make it 2-1 at 8:38. The powerslam lets Warrior come back in for a shoulder and the splash to win it all at 9:09.

Rating: D. Good grief they actually made it less interesting. I didn’t think this could get worse as the rest of the show had bee but they pulled it off. I’m not sure what the point of this was other than to get Hogan and Warrior out there again, but it doesn’t really make much of a difference when we saw them both in the last few hours. Nothing to see here, with Hogan and Warrior running through some midcard villains in short order.

Overall Rating: D. There is one good match in almost two and half hours here and that match is mostly memorable for one debut and nothing more. Other than that, it was a good illustration of how things needed to change. The 80s were over and Warrior wasn’t working on top, but Hogan’s act was fairly tired and not the long term solution.

That being said, the biggest problem is the lack of major villains. Warrior had Mr. Perfect, Hogan had already had his big match with Earthquake, and other than that you had Savage on the way up, but that’s not enough to fight two superpowers. Slaughter was getting a reaction but it absolutely did not have any kind of long term shelf life. Undertaker looked good, but it was his first night and he needed time to be turned into something big.

The whole thing didn’t work and it just kept getting worse. The Gooker stuff was the big, horrible icing on the whole thing as this was a bad show, with Undertaker and Bret Hart not being enough to come close to saving it. This show was pretty bad and the company was in need of a big overhaul, which would take a lot of time.

 

 

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UK Rampage 1992
Date: April 19, 1992
Location: Sheffield Arena, Sheffield, England
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

So here we have what sounds like a Coliseum Video but instead is a full show, which was broadcast on Sky over in England. It’s basically a big house show that is presented as a pay per view, which means the card could be all over the place. If nothing else, the WWF Title match is pretty well known so let’s get to it.

The opening video is as generic as you can get, showing some people on the show.

Commentary welcomes us to the show.

Tatanka vs. Skinner

Oh yeah it’s going to be one of those shows. They circle each other for a long time to start until Tatanka grabs a headlock. A sunset flip gets one and it’s right back to the headlock, allowing Heenan to try to pronounce Tatanka. Back up and a clothesline gives Tatanka two, followed by a chop to send Skinner bailing up the aisle.

They get back inside and Tatanka starts in on the arm but Skinner takes him down to work on the leg. Said leg is stretches a good bit until Skinner wraps it around the post. A suplex brings Tatanka down but he gets a boot up to knock Skinner out of the air. The middle rope chop sets up the Papoose To Go to finish Skinner off at 11:53.

Rating: C-. This was a slow match and while it was technically fine, it wasn’t exactly interesting. Tatanka is a popular enough star and a good opening match guy, but there wasn’t much to see here. Then again it’s just the opener of a European special event so it’s only going to be so much.

The Legion Of Doom is ready for anyone including….Colonel Mustafa and Dino Bravo? Oh yeah this is a weird kind of show.

Legion Of Doom vs. Colonel Mustafa/Dino Bravo

Dark haired Bravo always looks weird. The villains are whipped into each other to start and a double clothesline sends Bravo outside. Back in and Animal’s exchange of shoulders with Bravo goes nowhere but Hawk’s flying shoulder takes Bravo down as I try to figure out why this is supposed to be hard for the LOD.

Hawk goes shoulder first into the post as Heenan talks about meeting a woman named Martha at a French restaurant but she wouldn’t pick up the check. They get back in and Mustafa grabs a gutwrench suplex but Animal breaks up an abdominal stretch. A double clothesline allows Hawk to get over for the tag to Animal, meaning house is quickly cleaned. The top rope clothesline finishes Mustafa at 4:30.

Rating: D. What else could you have been expecting here? Bravo and Mustafa might as well have been a pair of jobbers but they actually got in a bit of offense. Unfortunately that’s not what should have been done here, as it should have been total destruction. Also, they really didn’t have a better option than this? No one was available?

Sid Justice talks about how Undertaker doesn’t do much reading (….ok). Justice has recently read a book called The Night Of The Juggler where the victim looks into the eyes of his killer and knows it’s over. That’s what’s waiting for the Undertaker.

Paul Bearer and Undertaker have come across the great sea to deliver a present: a tombstone.

Sid Justice vs. Undertaker

Harvey Wippleman and Paul Bearer are here too. Justice jumps him to start but Undertaker fights out and slugs away. Old School connects as does a flying clothesline, but Sid is right back with the chokeslam (which the camera mostly misses). A side slam drops Undertaker again and Sid hammers away, only for Undertaker to come back with a clothesline. They fight to the floor and I don’t see this ending well. Undertaker gets posted and a rather fast countout gives Sid the win at 5:17.

Rating: D+. Sweet goodness they really can’t have a good match together. What are you supposed to do when the camera doesn’t see Sid’s big move and the match is barely five minutes long with a countout? These two never worked well together and it was on full display again here, even if it wasn’t entirely their fault this time.

Post match Sid hits him with a chair and grabs a neckbreaker (more a hair takedown). Undertaker shrugs those off and Tombstones him. So Sid can take it after the match but not do a job on a show like this?

Shawn Michaels, with Sherri, is ready to win the WWF Title.

WWF Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Savage

Savage, with Elizabeth (to oppose Sherri), is defending after winning the title at Wrestlemania two weeks ago. Savage knocks him down to start and gets a knee up to stop a charge in the corner. Michaels sends him outside and Savage tosses in a chair as Heenan complains about Wrestlemania. Back in and Michaels tries skinning the cat but gets clotheslined outside again. Savage drops the top rope ax handle and we’re clipped (this match was on the Randy Savage Mixtape on the same YouTube channel with no clip so I have no idea what’s up with this) to Michaels sending him into the barricade.

A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker drops Savage for two and Michaels whips him into the corner to keep him in trouble. Savage fights back with a catapult into the post and a clothesline, followed by a top rope ax handle for two. He tries it again but gets punched out of the air, allowing Michaels to hit his own clothesline for a delayed two. The yet to be a big deal superkick gets two and the top rope fist drop sends Savage outside.

Even Sherri gets in a shot of her own before Savage is thrown back inside, where Michaels tosses him right back outside. Back in again and Michaels fires off the left hands but Savage kicks him in the face. The referee gets bumped, leaving Savage to hit his neck snap across the top. The top rope elbow connects for no count so Sherri comes in to kick at Savage. Monsoon: “GET UP AND PUNCH HER IN THE MOUTH RANDY!”

The referee is back up for a very delayed two and Sherri is on the ropes, which is enough for Elizabeth to come back down and shove her over the top. A high crossbody gives Savage two so Sheri gets on the apron again, with Elizabeth pulling her down this time. Savage misses a charge into the corner and gets sunset flipped down for two. A spinning high crossbody gives Savage the pin at 15:25 (the match usually runs about 16:20 so the cut clipped out nearly a minute).

Rating: B. This has been on a bunch of home video releases and it’s included for a reason. These two had great chemistry together and it was nice to see Savage getting a chance to actually get in the ring during his second title reign. You could see Michaels becoming a bigger star every day at this point and there is a reason he was given this kind of spot against a star like Savage. It worked well, especially with something different than the usual Savage formula of the big elbow.

Post match Sherri hits Michaels by mistake and a double noggin knocker sends the villains outside. Savage and Elizabeth get to pose together.

Here are the Bushwhackers for a chat, with Bobby Heenan saying they remind him of Eddie The Eagle (famously not great British skiier). This includes going around ringside and walking through the crowd, which feels quite a bit like filler. They finally get to the stage and love the people and country of England. Oh and the sheep are nice too. We have talks of rabbits and Sean Mooney is given a hat.

Jimmy Hart and the Mountie insist that they would NEVER take advantage of Virgil’s broken nose. The Mountie is not impressed with London, as he saw a cop who looked like Virgil sleeping on the job.

Virgil is happy to have his nose guard and is ready to fight Mountie. He floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee.

Virgil vs. The Mountie

Jimmy Hart is here with the Mountie. The bell rings and Virgil bails to the floor to avoid the shock stick. Back in and Virgil starts punching away and sends Mountie face first into the buckle over and over. They head outside with Virgil hammering away again before taking Mountie’s shirt back inside.

Mountie fights up and slugs away, including a shot with the shirt. A bulldog lets Mountie put his shirt back on and he mixes it up a bit with a half nelson/hammerlock combination. We pause for Mountie to grab the mic and shout his name, which is enough for Virgil to make a comeback. Hart trips Virgil and Mountie uses the distraction to get in a shot with the shock stick for the win at 8:55.

Rating: D. This was pretty terrible, as it was just a bunch of waiting around and doing basic stuff, with the shirt getting far too much attention. Virgil and Mountie weren’t exactly thrilling stars in the first place, but then they had a boring match. Not good, too long and dull, which makes for a rough combination.

Rick Martel doesn’t like English fashion and is ready to teach Bret Hart a thing or two about what it means to be a wrestling technician.

Bret Hart says this is about wrestling instead of fashion. How astute of him.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. Rick Martel

Hart is defending. Feeling out process to start and they lock up against the ropes, with Martel slapping him in the face. Martel slugs away but his O’Connor roll attempt is blocked. Hart clotheslines him to the floor, only to get front facelocked back inside. That’s broken up and Hart starts on the leg, including cranking away on the mat. This allows Monsoon to tell a story about a cab driver being offered FIFTY TIMES the value of his ticket but turning it down. Heenan: “And that’s why he’s driving a cab.”

A spinning toehold keeps Martel down as Monsoon uses big words to describe the leg. Heenan: “Keep it simple for the humanoids! He kicked him in the thigh!” Martel fights up but gets caught in a shinbreaker, with the leg being wrapped around the post. A quick ram into the post gets Martel out of trouble and he drops some elbows on the back. Hart fights up with the Five Moves Of Doom but gets sent crashing out to the floor. Back in and Hart can’t get an O’Connor roll, but he can get a small package to retain at 13:03.

Rating: B-. Of course these two worked well together as they’re both talented veterans and Hart was rapidly becoming one of the more important stars in the company. That’s a great sign for his future and putting him out there with a great hand like Martel made sense. It’s one of those formulas that pretty much guarantees success, which is why Hart was featured so often.

Jim Duggan thanks the fans for chanting USA because it makes the hair on his neck stand up. As for Repo Man, he’s ready for a fight instead of a match.

Repo Man vs. Jim Duggan

They stall a bunch to start, with Duggan calling for a few USA chants. Duggan trips him down and shrugs off some right hands. A few clotheslines have Repo in trouble and he gets sent outside, somehow managing to sneak up on Duggan. Back in and Duggan’s right hands set up an atomic drop to send Repo right back outside. Another cheap shot lets Repo take the turnbuckle pad off and Duggan is sent face first into the steel.

Heenan isn’t sure that will make a difference so Repo chokes on the rope. Duggan is sent into a regular buckle and the chinlock goes on. That’s broken up and Duggan misses a charge into the exposed buckle. Duggan sends him face first into the exposed steel as well so Repo grabs the steel hook and knocks Duggan silly for the DQ at 7:14.

Rating: D-. Sweet goodness what is up with the lame finishes on this show? Again, you really can’t have the Repo Man take a pin here? It just feels so ridiculous to see them do such a boring match and then finish with that kind of weak DQ. Nothing to see here, as has been the case too many times here.

Post match Repo chokes away and ties him in the ropes until the referee cuts off a big hook shot. Duggan gets the 2×4 and hides before chasing Repo off, meaning we get one more USA chant.

Randy Savage insists he and Miss Elizabeth are doing well and says they should have a second and third honeymoon over here. Savage is ready for all contenders, from the British Bulldog to Ric Flair.

Bobby Heenan has an empty coffee pot, which he says is the trophy British Bulldog won in a battle royal in London.

The British Bulldog promises to make IRS pay in the ring.

British Bulldog vs. IRS

IRS has Jimmy Hart with him. Bulldog’s reaction is as strong as you would expect and that’s why he’s in the main event. Bulldog grabs a headlock and shoves him away before a rather hard shoulder drops IRS again. We pause a bit for the fans to cheer the Bulldog, with even Heenan having to acknowledge the reception.

A clothesline sends IRS outside so he comes back in, runs the ropes, and bails to the floor again. Bulldog works on the arm but gets sent outside, with IRS kicking him in the ribs a few times to take over. Back in again and Bulldog gets two off a rollup but IRS drops him with the flying clothesline. The chinlock goes on for a good while, with Bulldog being sent outside.

This lets Heenan announce that Shawn Michaels HAS LEFT THE BUILDING. As usual, Monsoon doesn’t care, though he is more interested in Bulldog getting two off a sunset flip. The delayed vertical suplex has IRS in more trouble but he manages another cheap shot. Hart’s distraction tries to let IRS get the briefcase but Bulldog blocks it without much trouble. The running powerslam finishes IRS off at 12:45.

Rating: C. This wasn’t much of a match but there was no way it could end with anything but the Bulldog hitting a powerslam for the win. He was the crowd’s ultimate hero and that’s about as much of a layup as you can get. The match means nothing and isn’t even that good, but it’s all it needed to be.

Bulldog celebrates for a long time to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Yes a show from the early 90s is carried by Bret and Shawn (and Savage). I’m as shocked as you are, even if it’s exactly what happened at a lot of shows around this time. It doesn’t help that the show was full of nothing matches with terrible endings, but I guess the fans were supposed to just be happy to see the wrestling live. Which did work so who needs effort?

 

 

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More Awesome Battle Royals
Commentators: Michael Cole, The Miz, Antonio Cesaro, Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, Kaitlyn, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield, Gorilla Monsoon, Lord Alfred Hayes, Chris Cruise, Larry Zbyszko, Roddy Piper, Jim Ross, Les Thatcher

See there are battle royals, and then there are awesome battle royals, but these are the battle royals that were awesome, but not quite awesome enough to make the original batch. Yeah there isn’t much to say about a set like this, but that’s the case with most battle royals. I have no idea what they can do to fill in nearly two more hours of this stuff but let’s get to it.

From Main Event, December 26, 2012.

Battle Royal

Brodus Clay, Cody Rhodes, Damien Sandow, Darren Young, Drew McIntyre, Epico, Great Khali, Jey Uso, Jimmy Uso, Jinder Mahal, Justin Gabriel, Primo, Santino Marella, Ted DiBiase Jr., Titus O’Neil, Tyson Kidd, Wade Barrett, William Regal, Yoshi Tatsu, Zack Ryder

For a future US Title shot against Antonio Cesaro, on commentary. A bunch of people go after Khali to start so he tosses Tatsu without much trouble. Primo is tossed as commentary discusses battle royal strategy. The Prime Time Players go after Khali, which goes as well as you would expect. Cesaro and Miz argue about their accomplishments, with Miz listing off his rather impressive resume, which would only get bigger.

Things slow WAY down until McIntyre (a good 40lbs lighter than he would later become) is out, but he pulls Kidd out as well. Gabriel and Mahal are out too, triggering a brawl at ringside and a likely tag match. We take a break and come back with Jey Uso being tossed and Regal going out after him. Marella tries to hammer on Epico in the corner but gets sent to the apron. That just lets Marella skin the cat and pull Epico out, leaving Clay and Khali to slug it out. Khali kicks him in the head and tosses him out. Some big chops have O’Neil in trouble and Jimmy Uso is out as well.

More chops have more people in quite the agony as we take another break. We come back with the Prime Time Players circling Khali and they get him on the mat, which is a rather dumb idea in a battle royal, with Cesaro pointing out the idiocy. The Players finally annoy Khali too much so he dumps both of them, plus Rhodes (with a nasty chop) and Sandow.

We’re down to Marella, Ryder, Barrett and Khali, with Marella hitting the Cobra on Barrett. Ryder goes after Barrett but Marella tosses Ryder out. Barrett gets rid of Marella, leaving Barrett and Khali. A big boot puts Khali down and Barrett hammers away but Khali shrugs that and chops him out for the win at 18:16.

Rating: C+. Khali was oddly motivated here and put in more effort than I’ve seen from him…maybe ever really. I love seeing this kind of thing as it’s such a nothing, random battle royal that it made me wonder who was going to win. That’s a nice feeling to have and it didn’t feel anywhere near as long as it came off. Nice job.

From Saturday Night’s Main Event XXIX.

Battle Royal

Hulk Hogan, Jake Roberts, Tanaka, Shawn Michaels, Kato, Earthquake, Jimmy Snuka, Marty Jannetty, Warlord, Mr. Perfect, Haku, Greg Valentine, Tugboat, Jim Duggan, British Bulldog, Hercules, Paul Roma, Big Boss Man, Texas Tornado, Barbarian

It’s a brawl to start with Hogan choking Earthquake in the corner, with Roberts helping him out. Jannetty gets rid of Roman, who knocks Jannetty out as well. We settle down to a bunch of slow fighting, with Perfect being brave enough to go to the middle rope for a right hand to Boss Man. Hogan and Valentine take turns elbowing Perfect in the head as Bulldog is tossed out.

Kato is sent out and Roberts follows him, only to get the snake out and basically bring the match to a screeching halt. We take a break and come back with Tugboat and Hogan slugging out it, which is broken up by Warlord, earning him some praise from fans everywhere. Hogan dumps Warlord and Tornado is tossed as well. Earthquake gets rid of Duggan but gets tossed by Hogan. Kato is eliminated but Tugboat gets rid of Hogan in a surprise.

Hercules and Tugboat are tossed as well and it’s suddenly a midcard match. Boss Man slugs away at Perfect, who dropkicks him into a backdrop from Barbarian for the elimination. Michaels dropkicks Haku out and we’re down to Michaels, Perfect, Valentine and Barbarian. A dropkick staggers Perfect but Michaels is sent out, leaving us with three. Valentine manages to get rid of Barbarian and gives Perfect a heck of a chop. Some elbows let Valentine send Perfect to the apron but Perfect sends him out for the win at 12:31.

Rating: C. As was the case with the other Saturday Night’s Main Event battle royal, the match just DIES when Hogan is eliminated. It doesn’t help that Hogan was eliminated by Tugboat of all people, as that made for a rather pathetic moment. Perfect winning is fine, but this was disappointing to say the least.

From Monday Night Raw, April 22, 2013.

Divas Battle Royal

AJ Lee, Aksana, Naomi, Tamina Snuka, Layla

Yeah five women for a future Divas Title shot. AJ jumps into Tamina’s arms to start and gets kicked in the face for her efforts. Layla (who should be the crowd favorite as we’re in England but receives no reaction because…well look at the match) kicks Aksana out and Naomi/Layla hip attack Tamina. Naomi is out as Kaitlyn jokes about Layla’s gear being flag themed, with Cole trying to avoid various commentary. Layla kicks Tamina out and AJ is still out cold off the superkick. She picks the dead weight AJ up…and AJ tosses her out to win at 3:19.

Rating: D. If you only have five women for a battle royal, just don’t have the battle royal. This was in that weird period for the women where they had some people who were trying but it was still not exactly being taken seriously. Hence a five woman battle royal which lasted about three minutes and featured one of them being laid out for a good while.

From WCW Saturday Night, November 8, 1997.

Lucha Libre Battle Royal

Lizmark Jr., Super Calo, Villano IV, Villano V, Silver King, Hector Garza, El Dandy, Ciclope, La Parka, Halloween, Psychosis, Damien, Juventud Guerrera

Ok then. It’s a brawl to start and Dusty Rhodes is having WAY too much fun with this. Halloween is out and Damien misses a running dropkick in the corner. Lizmark moonsaults onto Damien and Rhodes is THRILLED with El Dandy being involved. The Villanos take over and Psychosis tosses Ciclope for a NASTY crash on the floor. Damien is out and Guerrera punches his way out of a powerbomb from Lizmark. Dandy tosses Lizmark (more like Lizmark tosses himself), sending Dusty into “ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT! EL DANDY IS STILL IN THERE!”.

The Villanos are both out at the same time (Rhodes: “They’re kin. They might as well go out together.”) and King is dropkicked out as well. Garza is backdropped out and Dandy gets rid of Calo, only to be kicked out by Parka (Rhodes: “Bless his heart. He did good!”). Guerrera monkey flips Parka and hits a heck of a springboard spinwheel kick. Psychosis gets Guerrera in an electric chair but Parka chairs Guerrera in the back and they’re both out, giving Parka the win at 7:00.

Rating: C+. Dusty Rhodes was the absolute star of this thing as he was having an absolute ball with the match. There are very few things as fun as listening to an energized Dusty Rhodes doing commentary when he gets to have fun and that was on full display here. The match was nothing, but dang the commentary was a blast.

From sometime in the mid to late 80s (possible December 1, 1986 in Fayetteville, North Carolina).

Bunkhouse Stampede

Ricky Morton, Bobby Eaton, Bill Dundee, Jimmy Garvin, Robert Gibson, Jimmy Valiant, Manny Fernandez, Italian Stallion, Krusher Khrushchev, Dennis Condrey, Arn Anderson, Rick Rude, Paul Ellering, Animal, Ivan Koloff, Tim Horner, Bobby Jaggers, Don Kernoodle, Barry Windham

I’m not even going to try to list everyone here as the audio isn’t great and the camera angles miss a bunch of the entrances anyway. It looks like we have about twenty in there but there is no commentary so it’s even more confusing. Some trashcan lids are brought in to make things even more violent though there are only so many elimination attempts. Fernandez and….someone go outside and seem to be out as Animal trashcan lids Koloff.

Horner (I think) is out as the ring is still way too full for much of note to go on. Jaggers is out and so is Khrushchev, who pulls someone with him. There goes Kernoodle as Anderson chokes Morton and Ron Garvin is out. Morton is tossed as the ring is finally clearing out a bit. Morton helps Gibson get rid of Rude, only for Gibson to be eliminated as well. Valiant is out and there goes Jimmy Garvin, followed by Ellering. We’re down to Anderson, Eaton, Animal, Condrey and…I think it’s Barry Windham.

Either way, Animal gets rid of Anderson and Condrey is tossed, followed by who I believe was Windham. That leaves Animal to hit Eaton with some kind of a whip plus a dropkick. Condrey gets in a cheap shot from the floor but Animal fights back and gets rid of Eaton for the win at 12:48.

Rating: C+. You can only get so much out of something like this as it’s just a wild brawl, but that’s the entire point. The idea was something like “come as you are” so a lot of them were in street clothes to make it feel more authentic. Then again there were also a bunch of trashcan lids involved so it could only be so serious. Good, fun brawl here though and a nice hidden surprise.

From Prime Time Wrestling, July 6, 1992.

Battle Royal

Beau Beverly, Blake Beverly, Virgil, Skinner, Koko B. Ware, Kato, Owen Hart, Brian Knobbs, Duane Gill, Jerry Sags, Tito Santana, Texas Tornado, Joe Mato, Tatanka, Jim Brunzell, Bret Hart, Barry Horowitz, Ron Starr, Sgt. Slaughter, Rick Martel, Ted DiBiase, IRS, Bret Johnson, Berzerker, JA Gooden, C. Martinez, Bob Bradley, Bob Knight, Bruce Mitchell, Gary Davis, Joe Holland, Jim Powers, Al Hunter, Scott Palantonio, Barry Hardy, Nick Ganger, British Bulldog

I got at least seven or eight of those jobbers’ names wrong, though they did at least get individual entrances. Berzerker is on the floor and pulls one of the jobbers out and beats him up, leaving Hayes to mock the guy for getting this kind of a match. Various jobbers are tossed out as commentary has no idea who these people are thus far. Berzerker finally gets inside as Powers is tossed out.

We take a break and come back with Martel and Gill being tossed out. Skinner dumps Tatanka and Santana does the same to DiBiase, followed by IRS going out. Owen and Virgil are gone too and the Beverlys and Bret are out as well. There goes Kato as the ring is suddenly FAR less full.

Sags is tossed and we’re down to Skinner, Bulldog, Berzerker, Santana, Ware and Tornado. Ware and Santana are tossed out rather quickly and Skinner actually gets Bulldog out. We’re down to Berzerker, Tornado and Skinner, which is one of the weirdest final groupings I’ve ever seen. Tornado slugs away at both of them but Berzerker comes back for the double elimination and the win at 9:58.

Rating: D+. Yeah not much to this one, with a good chunk of the entrants being jobbers who commentary couldn’t even identify. The idea here was to just have a spectacle of a match and that went well enough. They didn’t do anything special but again, the whole appeal was in having that many people involved at once, which went fine.

From New York City, New York, July 12, 1986.

Battle Royal

Junkyard Dog, Greg Valentine, King Tonga, Jimmy Hart, Billy Jack Haynes, Harley Race, Lanny Poffo, Iron Mike Sharpe, Pedro Morales, Brutus Beefcake, Tony Atlas, Moondog Spot, British Bulldog, Dynamite Kid, SD Jones, Johnny Valiant, Sivi Afi, Moondog Rex, Tony Garea, Big John Studd, Bobby Heenan, King Kong Bundy

A bunch of people go after Studd to get rid of him as Hart hides underneath the ring. Bundy is out as well, followed by Heenan (oh man seeing Heenan and Hart trying to have a match could have been great), who stops to yell on commentary for a bit. There goes Jones, followed by Sharpe and valiant.

Garea is tossed and Race is gone as well to get rid of the rest of the Heenan Family. There goes Afi and the Bulldogs dropkick the Moondogs out, leaving Dog and Haynes to lock up. Beefcake dumps Kid as Hart is still hiding underneath the ring. Morales is out and then Beefcake goes as well, leaving Valentine against five good guys.

Valentine manages to toss Hayes and Tonga, leaving Valentine, Dog, Bulldog, Poffo and Hart underneath the ring. Poffo and Bulldog are both tossed with Dog being sent through the ropes, where he finds Hart hiding. Dog throws Hart back inside and gets in a fight with Valentine. The two of them go over….and Hart wins at 12:57.

Rating: C. Call this one goofy fun, as it was a bunch of people doing their thing until Hart could come in and steal the win like a cowardly heel should. Hart would be able to brag about this for the better part of ever and that’s exactly how it should have been done. I had a good time with this, even if it was just a countdown to the obvious ending.

From WCW Pro, November 18, 1995.

Battle Royal

Dave Sullivan, Nasty Ned, Disco Inferno, Cobra, Mark Starr, Frankie Lancaster, Barrio Brother Ricky, Barrio Brother Fidel, Buddy Lee Parker, James Earl

Why? It’s a standard brawl to start and yes Disco wants to check his hair. They fight around the ropes until Lancaster is gone, followed by Cobra and Starr. A quick series of eliminations leaves us with Parker and Earl (regular partners) to beat on Disco, who fights up and tosses both of them for the win at 5:03. Disco is more annoyed at his hair getting messed up.

Rating: D+. The thing that interests me the most here is how many shows WCW had and kept running for YEARS. Pro went on until 1998 and was basically forgotten unless you happened to catch it at random. Case in point, any match where Disco Inferno is the biggest of the ten stars is not exactly a high level match, but it was a feature here.

From Superstars, February 16, 1991.

Tag Team Battle Royal

Nasty Boys, Power & Glory, Rockers, Legion Of Doom, Demolition, Bushwhackers, Orient Express

For the Wrestlemania Tag Team Title shot and only one member of a team has to be eliminated. They start the usual exchange of punching, with McMahon saying it’s too much action to call. Demolition loads up the Rockers in a double gorilla press but Marty pulls Shawn down in a smart move. A double superkick eliminates Smash and Demolition is out, followed by the Bushwhackers being thrown out.

Marty accidentally knocks Shawn out and we’re down to Power & Glory, the LOD, the Express and the Nasty Boys. Hawk dumps Kato to get rid of the Express and Animal gorilla presses Tanaka out for a bonus. Roma is sent through the ropes so Animal throws him back in (Piper: “No Animal! The other way!”). Hercules throws Roma at Animal, who pulls him out of the air and easily tosses him. We’re down to the Nastys and the LOD…but Roma crotches Hawk on top and dumps him out 6:19.

Rating: C. I’ve seen this one a few times before and it’s one of those ideas that works rather well. I’ll take it over some of the other ways to set up a title match and it was cool to see a bunch of teams getting to mix it up. The LOD were clearly the smashing machines here and it shouldn’t be a surprise that they would be champions in about six months.

From Smoky Mountain Wrestling TV, January 28, 1995.

Battle Royal

This seems to be more of a Royal Rumble with Robert Gibson in at #1 and New Jack in at #2. Jack kicks him in the face to start so Gibson grabs a small package, with commentary pointing out the instincts taking over. Chris Candido is in at #3 and teams up with Jack on Gibson with a string of elbows. Gibson manages to survive in the corner and it’s George South coming in at #4. The slow brawling ensues and it’s Boo Bradley (Balls Mahoney) in at #5 to go straight after Candido and toss him out. Buddy Landel is in at #6 and they start pairing off and Tommy Pitner is in at #7.

We take a break and the Dirty White Boy is in at #8 to chase Landel out and then go after him as well. So that’s two out, with Bryant Anderson in at #9. Anderson grabs an armbar on Bradley until Mustafa Saed (Jack’s partner) is in at #10. Saed and Jack collide for a double elimination as Bradley chills in the corner for a bit. The Wolfman is in at #11 and goes after Bradley, which doesn’t go well. D’Lo Brown is in at #12 and helps toss Gibson.

Scotty McKeever is in at #13 and Anderson is gone. Bradley and Brown are both out and it’s Unabomb (later known as Kane) is in at #14 for a bunch of powerbombs. Unabomb clears the ring and is left alone until Ricky Morton is in at #15. Morton strikes away as well as he can until Eddie Gilbert is in at #16. Gilbert wastes no time in throwing powder in Morton’s eyes for the elimination and apparently Gilbert and Unabomb both win (good for $5000) at 14:35.

Rating: C+. This was the Unabomb show and they clearly knew they had something special with him. He was huge, he could move, and he had a great look. Don’t bother trying to make it any more complicated than that and it should work. The rest of the match had some fun moments, but Unabomb stood out WAY above everyone else. And not just because he’s tall.

Overall Rating: C. Battle royals are hard to do in the first place, but I liked what they did here as it was a nice mixture of stuff. Rather than just having one battle royal after another, this featured different kinds of matches rather than the same wrestlers doing the same battle royals. It’s a set that was well set up and I’ll absolutely take that.

 

 

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Superstars
Date: September 7, 1991
Location: War Memorial, Rochester, New York
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Roddy Piper

We’re done with Summerslam and that means it’s time to talk about the big wedding. The real main event of Summerslam saw Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth get married and this week we’ll be seeing what happened at the reception. Other than that, it’s your usual Superstars goodness so let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Roddy Piper goes OFF about Sid Justice being the only one willing to stand up to Jake Roberts and Undertaker. More on this later.

We run down the show.

Texas Tornado vs. Bubba Monroe

Commentary goes into their somber tones about the wedding reception and how horrible things were for Savage and Elizabeth. Piper shifts over to Tornado, who wrestles Monroe down to start. We get an insert interview from Tornado, talking about how Sgt. Slaughter should stay in seclusion after turning his back on his country. Tornado punches him in the ribs and hits the Tornado….we’ll call it a strike of some sort in the head region as it certainly wasn’t a Punch for the pin at 2:24.

We go to the wedding reception (Bobby Heenan shaking his head in sadness as he shakes Savage’s hand is great). They do the first dance and cut the cake and throw the boquet. Then it’s time to cut open the presents…which includes a cobra. Undertaker pops in to SMASH Savage in the head with the urn and Jake Roberts taunts Elizabeth with the snake.

Sid Justice is the only person to stand up to them, chasing Roberts off with a chair. Undertaker’s urn shot was great and there is something funny about someone filming Roberts tormenting the bride. Heck of a segment here, as it was so over the top that the villains look totally evil as a result.

Skinner vs. Scott Summers

Make your own Cyclops jokes. Skinner takes him down to start and ties him in the ropes for a neck snap. Skinner’s insert promo mocks the Dragon before Skinner hits something like a Pedigree into the reverse DDT for the pin at 2:04.

EVENT CENTER!

British Bulldog is ready for various villains, including the newly debuted BULLY.

Jimmy Hart and the Nasty Boys are ready to beat up various teams, including the Legion Of Doom. Knobbs accuses Jack Tunney wearing LOD shoulder pads so he must be on the LOD’s side. There’s a visual.

Virgil vs. Chris Duffy

For some reason Virgil’s entrance is missing. Virgil slugs away to start (must be mad about his missing entrance) and sends him outside for a dive. Back in and a slam sets up the Million Dollar Dream to give Virgil the win at 2:23.

UPDATE!

We look back at Bobby Heenan on the Funeral Parlor, where he suggested that the WWF Title was nothing compared to the REAL World Title. On top of that, there are some very loudmouthed people around here, like Roddy Piper. This brought Piper to the set, where he said Hogan was the only real champion. Piper says he scares Flair and spits on the belt to send Heenan running.

Berzerker vs. Kerry Davis

Mr. Fuji is here with Berzerker, who throws Davis around with ease. Berzerker ties him in the ropes for some running boots then throws him over the top for the countout at 2:27.

The Rockers want the Tag Team Titles and don’t care who they fight.

Harvey Wippleman brags about the Bully taking lunch money and stealing girlfriends at proms.

Bushwhackers vs. Barry Hardy/Duane Gill

The Beverly Brothers pop in to unveil the Genius as their new manager, which fits pretty well. The Bushwhackers do their wacking and stomping for about a minute and a half before Hardy grabs a headlock. That earns Gill some right hands to the floor and we wack a bit more. Some kicks in the corner set up the Battering Ram, followed by a double gutbuster for the pin on Gill at 3:45.

Rating: C-. It’s almost strange to see a match get so much time on this show. It doesn’t help that it was just an extended squash, with the stuff at the beginning taking up so much time. The Bushwhackers were never going to be anything serious, but at least they were good as a way to get the fans into things, which is what they did here.

We go to the Funeral Parlor with special guest….IRS? That’s the best you have? Bearer likes the idea of talking about DEATH and taxes and brings up the estate tax. IRS says even death is no excuse to not pay your taxes, which is kind of awesome. Bearer brings up Big Boss Man attacking wrestling, which IRS says makes him a tax cheat because he’s going after the government who taught him his trade. Bearer: “I think he’s just a hick cop from Georgia.” IRS wants RECEIPTS and walks off. This was some mixture of bizarre, stupid, and amazing.

We look at Bret Hart winning the Intercontinental Title at Summerslam. Roddy Piper praises Bret’s parents, saying Stu is a great man, even if Piper can’t understand a word he says.

Warlord vs. Mark Thomas

Slick is here with Warlord, who knocks him down to start and then hits a heck of a flying shoulder. We get the insert promo from Warlord, who wants the Intercontinental Title but settles for a knee lift to Thomas. A suplex sets up the full nelson and Thomas is done at 2:45.

Greg Valentine is going back to basics. Wait….WE’VE BEEN SEEING THE ENHANCED GREG VALENTINE???

Ted DiBiase and Sherri are upset over losing to Virgil but DiBiase seems to have a plan.

Here’s what’s coming next week to wrap it up.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling was the usual collection of mostly meaningless stuff, but there is a lot going on here that has me intrigued. You have what feels like Roddy Piper vs. Ric Flair on the horizon, plus everything that is going to come out of the wedding reception deal. Randy Savage is going to be ticked off and that makes for some great stuff. This was basically the kickoff for the post Summerslam run and that has me interested.

 

 

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Summerslam 1991
Date: August 26, 1991
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Roddy Piper, Gorilla Monsoon

It’s a double main event, but in this case only one of those is a match. We have a handicap tag match between Hulk Hogan/Ultimate Warrior and the Iraqi sympathizers (ignore that the war had been over for months by this point) and a wedding between Randy Savage and Elizabeth. That’s quite the contrast, which is the selling point of the show. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the Match Made In Heaven (the wedding) and the Match Made In Hell (Hogan/Warrior vs. Sgt. Slaughter/General Adnan/Colonel Mustafa).

Commentary welcomes us to the show.

The Dragon/Texas Tornado/British Bulldog vs. Power & Glory/Warlord

Dragon works on Roma’s arm to start and lifts him into the air to keep up the cranking. Tornado comes in to send Hercules into the corner over and over but a rake to the eyes cuts that off. It’s off to Bulldog vs. Warlord, with Bulldog grabbing a quick suplex. Dragon comes back in with a chop to Warlord’s head but a monkey flip is blocked (with Warlord not doing much, leaving Steamboat to just jump backwards).

The villains take over, with Roma getting two off a snap suplex. Some backbreakers from Roma set up Hercules’ delayed gorilla press as the beating continues. A clothesline cuts off the comeback attempt but Warlord, who is known for going up top, dives into raised boots, allowing the tag off to Tornado. Everything breaks down and Bulldog powerslams Roma for two (what a surprising kickout), followed by Dragon’s high crossbody for the win at 10:46.

Rating: C. This was a perfectly fine way to start the show, even with Roma’s kind of weird kickout at the end. Dragon was his usual good self, Bulldog was fine as a power guy and Tornado managed to not get lost coming to the ring so we’ll call it a success. Nice way to start the show, as a six man often is.

Mr. Perfect, with the Coach, says Bret Hart isn’t perfect enough to take the Intercontinental Title.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Bret Hart

Hart is challenging and Coach is here with Perfect. Hart’s parents are here in the crowd, just in case you didn’t realize this was a big moment. They take their time to start until Hart shoulders him down and sends Perfect crashing out to the floor. Back in and Hart grabs a headlock takeover to grind away for a pretty good while until Perfect gets up. That means a clothesline out to the floor, with Coach needing to do…well some coaching actually.

Perfect teases walking out but Hart sends him back inside, tearing Perfect’s singlet in the process. Back in and Perfect actually bothers to fight, knocking Hart outside and chopping him down. Hart is right back in to hammer away and a rollup gets two. Perfect cuts that off in a hurry and sends Hart back outside as Perfect is starting to overwhelm him. Hart gets inside again and is promptly caught in a sleeper.

A Samoan drop of all things gives Perfect two and he sends Hart hard into the corner for the same. The PerfectPlex gets two and the kickout has the fans right back into this. Hart hits some atomic drops to put Perfect in trouble for a change and the hair toss into the corner kind of crotches Perfect on the post. The Russian legsweep gives Hart two and the backbreaker into the middle rope elbow gets the same.

Hart sends him outside again for a posting (and of course Perfect’s bumping is great) before it’s time to kick at the leg back inside. Coach has to get on the apron to block a Sharpshooter (and remind us that he’s a thing), with the distraction allowing Perfect to kick the rope for a low blow. Perfect drops a leg between the legs but Hart blocks a second and reverses it into the Sharpshooter for the (very fast) submission and the title at 18:05 and kickstart his singles run.

Rating: A. Oh what else were you expecting? This match has been revered for decades now and that will be the case for a long time to come. It’s a great back and forth match with Hart getting his first major singles win and proving he can hang with the best of them. When the only flaw is “Perfect gave up really fast”, you’re doing something right. Awesome match, mainly due to how well both of them were able to do just about everything. You could see both of them doing their parts to almost perfection and it made for an all time classic.

Post match Hart rips the rest of the singlet off of Perfect and poses with the title, even going to celebrate with his parents.

Buy this Hulk Hogan pay per view!

Andre The Giant, looking terrible, is with the Bushwhackers and we see a clip of Earthquake attacking Andre and injuring his knee. Now Andre is backing the Bushwhackers to get revenge. Just because he’s big doesn’t mean he’s smart.

Natural Disasters vs. Bushwhackers

Jimmy Hart is here with the Disasters and Andre is with the Bushwhackers. They walk around to start until the Disasters go after Andre, earning themselves a double poke to the eyes from the Bushwhackers. Heenan: “If I was managing the Bushwhackers, I’d commit suicide.” We settle down to Butch vs. Typhoon with Butch getting backed into the corner but biting his way to freedom.

Earthquake makes the save (if you need to be saved from the Bushwhackers, perhaps it’s time to search for alternate employment) but the Bushwhackers clear the ring in short order. We settle back down to Earthquake hammering away on Butch as Heenan wonders which one is Larry, Darryl and Darryl. Butch gets crushed in the corner and has to fight out of a bearhug.

Typhoon elbows him in the face for two as Heenan leaves commentary to go talk to Hulk Hogan. That’s an odd change but Monsoon and Piper are happy. Butch gets away and brings in Luke to actually clean house. The Battering Rams send Earthquake to the floor, where he gives Butch a backbreaker. Luke steps on Typhoon’s toes but Typhoon can’t even sell that, allowing Earthquake to jump Luke from behind. The Earthquake is good for the pin at 6:27.

Rating: D. Well there was no way they were following the previous match, but what were they expecting out of this one? The match was never going to be much more than a squash and there was no reason to think otherwise. On top of that, Andre looked absolutely terrible and it was sad to see him out there barely able to move as such a shell of his former self.

Post match the Disasters go after Andre but the Legion Of Doom come out to cut that off in a hurry. There’s your next big tag feud.

Heenan, with the Big Gold Belt, goes to Hulk Hogan’s dressing room to issue a challenge on behalf of Ric Flair. Hogan knocks the belt out of his hands and slams the door. Well in theory at least, as we never actually hear Hogan or see his face.

Randy Savage is talking to fans on a phone line.

Ted DiBiase laughs at some of the things he has made Virgil do for him over the years. Tonight, DiBiase is ready to take Virgil out again for daring to challenge for the Million Dollar Title. This is a city full of gutters so Virgil can pick where he wants to go. And he’ll throw in a crying towel!

Million Dollar Title: Ted DiBiase vs. Virgil

DiBiase, with Sherri, is defending. Virgil hammers away to start fast and DiBiase is knocked to the floor early on. Back in and an atomic drop sends DiBiase crashing out to the floor again but this time DiBiase gets in a knockdown of his own. Heenan is back on commentary, with Piper saying that’s it for the fun.

DiBiase sends Virgil knees first into the steps and it’s time for the falling fists back inside. The beating continues as Heenan thinks Virgil is dumb enough to have the gold title bronzed. Back up and Virgil ducks a right hand and grabs the Million Dollar Dream. DiBiase is in trouble and Sherri brings in the loaded purse for the DQ at 6:27.

Actually hang on a second as the referee isn’t ending the match, but rather ejecting Sherri and continuing the match. Piper, Virgil’s friend and trainer, is THRILLED as Virgil hammers away in the corner but the referee gets bumped. DiBiase stops to taunt Piper and then drops Virgil with some suplexes. The piledriver plants Virgil but there is no referee, even as Piper is LOSING HIS MIND screaming for Virgil. The turnbuckle pad is removed but DiBiase takes too much time and gets sent into the exposed buckle. Virgil slowly crawls over and gets the pin and the title at 13:12, sending Piper through the roof.

Rating: C+. This was the pinnacle of everything with Virgil as he wins the title, but much more importantly he beats his former boss, who was a huge star in his own right. Piper deserves some credit here too, as he was pushing Virgil as hard as he could. It made you want to see Virgil win and that’s a great addition to the whole thing. Not an all time classic, but an emotional match that paid off a story years in the making.

Virgil gets the big celebration in a nice moment.

The Mountie is ready to beat Big Boss Man and then see him locked up in jail. He wants these New York police guards to brutalize Boss Man for a bonus. We also see some clips of Mountie using his shock stick on Boss Man, which is a rather violent way to set up a feud. It should be shocking that Boss Man is mad.

Boss Man is ready to send Mountie to jail.

Big Boss Man vs. The Mountie

The loser spends the night in jail and Jimmy Hart is here with the Mountie. Boss Man punches him in the face to start fast and cuts off a comeback with a hard spinebuster. The neck crank has Mountie in trouble so Hart offers a distraction. The chase is on and Boss Man is sent into the steps, with Heenan being rather pleased. Back in and Mountie’s slam gets two, followed by an elbow for the same as things slow WAY down.

A kickout sends Mountie flying out to the floor, with Monsoon calling Hart a walking advertisement for birth control. Geez that’s harsh even for Monsoon. Back in and Mountie bites Boss Man’s face before getting him up for a piledriver. With nothing else working, Hart gets on the apron but Mountie misses the shock stick shot. The Boss Man Slam….only gets two (that’s not something you see very often) so it’s a rather nasty Alabama Slam to finish Mountie off at 9:33.

Rating: C. The match was slow, but this was all about the ending and the post match shenanigans. As weird as it was to have the Boss Man Slam only get two, it was a good false finish before the pretty great looking Alabama Slam. Mountie’s time on offense was so slow though and it brought down the rest of the match.

Post match Boss Man has Mountie cuffed immediately and he’s dragged out back to the police van.

Ted DiBiase thinks he was robbed.

Bret Hart says Mr. Perfect just wasn’t perfect enough.

Jimmy Hart wants his lawyers to deal with the Mountie while the Natural Disasters threaten the Legion Of Doom.

Big Boss Man says a jailbird can’t fly and promises more torment for the Mountie tonight.

Randy Savage is still busy talking to fans and Gene Okerlund can only get some quick comments about him being ready for the wedding.

Five minute intermission, thankfully omitted.

Commentary does their preview/recap to fill in time.

The Mountie is taken to jail, where he screams his catchphrase as he’s put in the cell.

Jimmy Hart, now with the Nasty Boys, says his lawyer is on his way to the jail. The Nasty Boys accuse the Legion Of Doom and Jack Tunney of “coagulating” together against them.

Mountie gets his picture taken, despite being upset, sending Hart into a crazed rant about how that’s an invasion of privacy. Hart is hilarious in these over the top segments.

The Legion Of Doom is ready to win the Tag Team Titles. Then they’re ready for the Natural Disasters.

Mountie gets fingerprinted, again against his will.

The Triangle Of Terror (looking ancient, because they mostly were) say the Ultimate Warrior and Hulk Hogan are the ones who are outnumbered. Sgt. Slaughter teases having a surprise for the match.

Sid Justice (guest referee in the main event) promises to call the main event down the line. We see a clip of the Triangle Of Terror talking to Justice earlier and offering him a spot on the team. Back live, Sid says he didn’t promise them a thing (and we never heard him give an answer) but tonight, justice will be served. Is he going to dinner or something?

Tag Team Titles: Legion Of Doom vs. Nasty Boys

The Nasty Boys, with Jimmy Hart, are defending and this is No DQ/No Countout. The Legion cleans house to start, with Hawk even hitting an enziguri for two on Sags. Animal and Knobbs brawl to distract the referee and Sags sprays Hawk with something, which commentary ignores. A tray of drinks to the back has Hawk in more trouble and Sags ax handles him in the back to keep him down.

Knobbs comes in to clothesline Hawk, even as the camera shot is from the corner for some reason. A running splash hits in the corner but a middle rope version hits a raised boot. Animal comes in to clean house, including the powerslam for two on Knobbs. Hawk gets sent to the floor and Hart sends in his helmet, with a shot to the back rocking Animal. The delayed cover gets two but Hawk takes away the helmet and clocks Sags. The Doomsday Device gives us new champions at 7:45.

Rating: C+. Pretty quick and to the point here, though it wasn’t total destruction. What matters the most here is that the Legion Of Doom get up to the top, as they had felt like the most dominant team for a good while. It helps that they kept this as more of a brawl than a match, which suited both of them better. The other thing that stood out here: Hawk and Animal looked happy to win. They were raising their hands and hugging each other, which is how you should celebrate a huge moment. Do that kind of thing more often.

Mountie is put in a cell. One very cool detail here: on the Superstars leading into this show, Mountie had promised that Boss Man would do each of these things in order but then had to do it himself. That’s a nice bit of continuity that you don’t often see around here and it made things a little better if you were paying attention.

IRS vs. Greg Valentine

Heenan: “This will be a good match.” Might want to try again there Brain. Feeling out process to start with Valentine knocking IRS outside. As we slow things down a bit (yes, in this match), Monsoon passes on a rumor that Jake Roberts and Undertaker (a freshly evil pairing) have been seen around here. Back in and Valentine slams him for another trip to the floor, this time following him to hammer away.

IRS gets in a cheap shot and the abdominal stretch goes on, followed by a big clothesline for two. The chinlock goes on as Heenan asks if Monsoon and Piper’s parents wore suspenders (like IRS). Heenan realizes there’s no point in asking Piper as his parents were never home, which seems to touch a nerve. Anyway Valentine cuts him off the top and starts in on the leg, with the Figure Four sending IRS over to the ropes. Valentine stays on the leg but gets small packaged to give IRS the pin at 7:10.

Rating: C-. As usual, I have no idea what the point was in Valentine’s face turn, as the matches might have been technically fine but it’s not like there was anything interesting about him. IRS wasn’t much better and that didn’t make for much of a match. It wasn’t terrible by any means, but what was anyone expecting out of this one?

Buy the Hulk Hogan pay per view!

Hulk Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior are ready for the Triangle Of Terror. Hogan says this is the perfect battleground while Warrior says they’ll walk instead of coming by boat or air. They’ll walk out the same too. We get a double Hogan catchphrase and Warrior gives him a rather odd looking….we’ll call it a hug.

Hulk Hogan/Ultimate Warrior vs. Triangle Of Terror

Sid Justice is guest referee. Slaughter and Hogan start things off, with Sid taking away a foreign object and yelling at Slaughter to quite the reaction. Hogan actually doesn’t capitalize and gets pummeled in the corner, only to come back with a hard whip into another corner. Slaughter gets caught between Hogan and Warrior (much like his title reign), with Warrior coming in for an atomic drop.

Hogan comes back in to send him into the corner and adds a middle rope ax handle for two, with Mustafa kind of touching Hogan’s shoulder for the….I guess you could call it a save. Hogan chokes away in the corner but Sid actually breaks it up to keep things even. Slaughter gets in a cheap shot so Adnan can come in and slowly chop away. Mustafa’s gutwrench suplex (that always looked good) sets up the camel clutch, with Piper making a rare reference to Mustafa being the Iron Sheik.

That’s broken up even faster than it was in 1983 and it’s back to Slaughter, who goes up. Warrior shoves him off the top, with Slaughter DIVING across the ring for a crazy visual. It’s back to Warrior to clean house but Mustafa cheats to cut him off. A suplex gets Warrior out of trouble but Slaughter gets back in to break up the tag.

The big flying clothesline gets Warrior out of trouble and there’s the big tag to Hogan. Everything breaks down and Warrior gets a chair to chase Mustafa and Adnan to the back (where he was promptly fired by Vince McMahon). Hogan uses the distraction to throw powder into Slaughter’s eyes and drops the leg for the pin (with a FAST count) at 12:41.

Rating: C-. What were you expecting here? Hogan had already beaten Slaughter on his own at Wrestlemania and adding in two old guys wasn’t going to be enough to overcome the addition of the Warrior. Normally this wouldn’t feel like the main event of Summerslam, but keep in mind that this is the fourth Summerslam and the third to have a tag match main event. That’s kind of what Summerslam did, though this never had the slightest bit of drama, with Sid mostly being a non-factor.

Post match Hogan makes funny faces and then calls Sid back to pose with him. Because they’re best friends and would never split up of course.

Mountie meets a man in leather in his cell. Make your own jokes. Or don’t.

We recap Randy Savage proposing to Elizabeth (Piper: “GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES!”), who of course responded with an awesome OH YEAH.

We get a music video of Savage and Elizabeth, which really is one of the best long term stories the company has ever done. Savage grew and changed over the course of the whole thing and that’s why it worked: it was a story with people involved and you could see how we got here over the years.

With the video done (and the ring ready for the wedding), Savage comes out in his white tuxedo and feathered hat (of course) and we get the ring bearer/flower girl. Elizabeth comes out, everyone swoons, the minister does his thing, Savage takes the sunglasses off to say OH YEAH, Elizabeth says yes, they get married, they leave, the show ends. This was the better part of fifteen minutes and…well it certainly happened. This would later be followed by the reception, which was crashed by Undertaker and Jake Roberts, setting off Roberts’ feud with Savage and eventually Undertaker’s face turn. For now though, just a wedding.

Overall Rating: C+. This isn’t a show you watch for the wrestling (save for that whole all time classic thing near the beginning), but it’s the definition of an easy to watch, fun show. That was kind of the theme of Summerslam back in the day, as there would be one or two things in the middle, but it wasn’t the kind of show where something major was going down. It was about the good guys getting a win to set up something for later and that’s what we got here. This might not be a classic, but there is enough fun stuff to keep you entertained for a few hours.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6