Impact Wrestling
Date: September 16, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

It’s the final night of the invasion as we’ll be having Lethal Lockdown between TNA and GFW for total control of the company. This is likely going to be a one match show for the most part as nothing else of note has been announced. There’s also the chance that someone could turn on their company. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the invasion leading up to tonight’s showdown inside the cage.

Jeremy Borash is in the ring for the contract signing between Dixie Carter and Jeff Jarrett. Yes they’re really saving this for the same show as the blowoff match. Since this is TNA, shouldn’t the signing be delayed? Dixie talks about how Jeff is still causing all this trouble because of how he left the company years ago.

It was Jeff’s action that led him out of TNA and Dixie was hoping that they could work together again. That didn’t happen though and it’s all in the past. Dixie is here to fight for this company going forward and it’s going forward without Jarrett. Jeff says this is a moment in history, but it’s summed up by one man: Eric Young.

Eric is a TNA original who hates Jeff’s guts and is under contract to Dixie, but he’s siding with Global Force Wrestling. What more proof does Dixie need than that? Tonight Jeff is going to take over his second wrestling company and Dixie will be out in the cold where she belongs. The papers are sealed in a briefcase but Jeff punches Jeremy Borash when he tries to take it. Dixie can hang onto it for now because the Jarrett’s will pick it up later.

Jeff Hardy drives Ethan Carter III and Tyrus to the arena. He’s sent to the back for his assignment for the night. Carter will be there when he’s watched ten to twelve cat videos on his phone.

We’re actually getting a series of videos throughout the night on the history between Dixie Carter and Jeff Jarrett. Someone, please, hit me in the head with something very very hard. I don’t think I can take this all night.

We get a quick recap of Mahabali Sheera vs. the Revolution.

Abyss vs. Mahabali Sheera

Sheera is now a dancer and dances with a guy in a Bigfoot costume at ringside. Abyss isn’t interested in dancing and attacks from behind. They’re quickly on the floor to start with Sheera ramming him into the steps, only to eat a splash back inside. We hit the neck crank for a bit before Sheera fights up, only to eat a chokeslam. The swing from Janice misses though and Sheera chokeslams him for two. Cue Storm with a chair but he hits Abyss with the cowbell by mistake. A quick Sky High (more like treetop high) gives Sheera the pin at 5:06.

Rating: D. So after spending all these weeks treating Sheera like he’s supposed to be a big deal, he’s a dancer. That’s the big idea they came up with after all this time? The guy has a look and some international appeal and he’s a dancer. Well done on giving him the definition of the dead on arrival gimmick guys. Abyss was his normal self here, which is fine for a first win for Sheera, but I can’t take him seriously with this dancing nonsense.

We IMMEDIATELY cut away to Ethan and Tyrus in the back. The champ promises a party tonight.

Here are Ethan and Tyrus to introduce Jeff Hardy, who is wearing a black suit covered with Ethan Carter faces. After Ethan cracks jokes, Jeff is forced to tell the fans to stop cheering for him. The fans don’t comply but Carter gives Jeff credit for trying. This brings out Rockstar Spud, who says this looks too familiar. When he came to this company, he did everything Ethan told him to do so he could get his foot in the door. This however is JEFF FREAKING HARDY, a man that makes the crowds go crazy. Ethan decks Spud and the three of them leave. Spud comes after Ethan but Tyrus lays him out. Jeff is forced to hit Spud.

More Dixie vs. Jeff history, including Jeff becoming the new TNA boss a few months back.

Jeff Jarrett tries to recruit Drew Galloway to GFW. TNA is a man down, so why should Drew stick around?

Earl Hebner is going into the TNA Hall of Fame.

Knockouts Title: Brooke vs. Lei’D Tapa vs. Awesome Kong vs. Gail Kim

Brooke is defending and this is one fall to a finish. Gail and Brooke go after the giants to start and are quickly thrown to the side. Tapa and Kong slug it out until Brooke and Gail beat on Tapa for a bit. Kong adds a splash and we take an early break. Back with Tapa dropping Gail face first off the barricade but Kong dives off the apron to crush Tapa with a cross body.

Gail and Brooke fight in the ring until Kong misses a charge at Tapa and takes out the champ. Tapa slams Gail down inside but Kim kicks away at the knee. Kong comes back in with a top rope splash to Tapa. Brooke’s top rope elbow hits Kong and all four are down. The giants are sent to the floor, leaving Brooke to try a sunset flip on Gail, who sits down on it for the pin and the title at 12:21.

Rating: C-. Who else? Who else could it have been but Gail Kim? She fits in so perfectly with the theme of the same tired ideas that we’ve seen dozens of times in TNA as they seem to be on their last legs (the most recent time that is), so why not just put the belt on her again so she can bore the fans to sleep one last time.

Drew gives Team TNA one more pep talk.

Ethan blames Hardy for having a World Title match next week. Jeff better help him retain the title or else.

One last Dixie vs. Jeff video, this time on Jarrett’s betrayal.

Team TNA vs. Team GFW

TNA: Lashley, Eddie Edwards, Davey Richards, Drew Galloway, ???

GFW: Sonjay Dutt, Chris Mordetzky, Jeff Jarrett, Eric Young, Brian Myers

It’s Lethal Lockdown, meaning WarGames. The first two will fight for three minutes until Team GFW sends in its second man for a two minute advantage. The teams alternate until all ten are in, which is when the roof, covered in weapons, lowers. First pin or submission after everyone has entered wins.

Sonjay sends Davey into the cage to start but Richards slugs away. That’s fine with Dutt who bites Davey’s hand and kicks him in the chest to take over. Davey kicks him in the ribs and tries a Texas Cloverleaf, but here’s Eric Young to give GFW the advantage. The slow beating continues until Drew Galloway is in to tie it up. Josh already gets his history wrong by saying Drew is the one that figured out Karen Jarrett was behind the attacks (Drew accused Jeff and Karen confessed).

Back from a break with Brian Myers in for GFW and the invaders in control. Lashley evens things up and this is really not the most even match. A bunch of spears clean house and TNA just waits around for Chris Mordetzky to make it 4-3. They all punch and kick each other until Eddie Edwards evens things up again. TNA takes over again because GFW is Eric Young and a bunch of career jobbers. Jeff Jarrett completes Team GFW and it’s time for a lot more punching. After two more minutes of nothing, Bram comes in as the tenth man.

The weapons are lowered and we take a break. Back with nothing having changed and everyone going for the weapons. The GFW guys take over for a bit until Lashley cleans house. Jarrett tries to escape but gets destroyed by every member of Team TNA until the GFW guys make the save with weapons. TNA shrugs it off like it’s nothing again, capped off by Galloway giving Myers a Future Shock on a trashcan for the pin at 31:30.

Rating: D-. This was one of the most boring, uninteresting, lamest gimmick matches I’ve seen in years. The GFW guys were a bunch of jobbers who couldn’t keep control even when they had a man advantage, mainly because they’re Eric Young, a mostly retired Jeff Jarrett, and three guys who have never won anything significant. That’s the big invading GFW force and we spent a fourth of the show kicking and punching before some lame weapons spots and a DDT end the thing. No high spots, next to no drama, no surprises, and TNA gets to beat a bunch of guys beneath them. Horrible match and nothing I ever want to think about again.

The Jarrett’s are carried out and Dixie comes to the ring for the big hero celebration to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. The best match was an average at best four way with an uninteresting ending. If this is supposed to be their big story that makes me want to care about TNA for months to come, they’re even dumber than I thought. This invasion is making me pine for the days of the Alliance as at least you got some good action in there on occasion. I was begging for this show to end and that’s never a good sign. Horrible show with one of the lamest major matches I’ve seen in years.

Results

Mahabali Sheera b. Abyss – Sky High

Gail Kim b. Brooke, Lei’D Tapa and Awesome Kong – Rollup to Brooke

Team TNA b. Team GFW – Future Shock to Myers

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And some of them are pretty familiar.

Chael Sonnen – Analyst

Justin Gabriel

Davey Boy Smith Jr.

Doc Gallows

Karl Anderson

Lance Hoyt

Chris Masters

Quinn Ojinnaka

Lei’D Tapa

Thea Trinidad

Sanada

We waited a year for some WWE/TNA rejects and a few guys from Japan? The shows might be fun, but this is going to need some major work to get anywhere.

Back to the girls with ODB.

ODB got her start around 2003 but we’ll be picking her up in OVW in a three way match on October 15, 2006.

Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. ODB vs. Katie Lea

Beth is defending. I always forget how good looking Katie is. There’s barely any contact made for the first minute until Beth gets double teamed down. A double hiptoss puts Beth down again but as is always the case in a threeway, ODB goes after Katie like a dolt. Beth is right back up and we get into the three way brawl again.

Katie gets two with a small package on ODB and a rollup gets the same. Now Beth steals a pin of her own but ODB is all ticked off. The fall away slam from ODB gives Beth a two count, so ODB rams her ten times into her crotch in the corner (it’s the turnbuckle but the crotch is funnier or something). We take a break and come back with ODB holding Katie in a bearhug and Beth down in the corner. A swinging neckbreaker on Beth gives ODB another two count but Katie makes the save.

That doesn’t please ODB so she puts Katie in the Tree of Woe before sending Beth face first into Katie with a drop toehold. We get the triple sleeper spot which goes nowhere as always. Beth rips a turnbuckle pad off but gets slammed down by both challengers. She can’t get a chair in but Katie can get a side slam on ODB for two. ODB goes up and the other girls fight over who gets to slam her down.

They finally settle on a Tower of Doom with Beth powerbombing Katie who superplexes ODB. Beth gets two on Katie but Lea sends Beth out to the floor. The champion picks up the title and knocks Katie silly but ODB makes a last second save. Beth lifts ODB up in a fireman’s carry but Serena runs in to spear Phoenix down for a DQ. In a triple threat?

Rating: B-. Good stuff here until the odd ending. I’m guessing they were hoping to keep the challengers strong, but there comes a point in a fifteen minute match where they’re not going to lose anything by not picking up the title. This was a solid match and yet more proof that there are good looking women who can have good matches.

Another OVW match, from some point in the first five months of 2007.

ODB vs. Melody

Melody would become as much of a blonde bombshell as you can get, though she has purple hair here. ODB comes out with a glittery cooler and her Miss OVW sash. Women’s Champion Katie Lea sits in on commentary to brag about manipulating Melody and hating ODB. ODB runs over Melody to start but misses a charge in the corner. A bad looking elbow to the back of the head gets two for Melody and she puts on a choke.

ODB fights back and runs Melody over as Katie brags about being the toughest English wrestler in the world. A fall away slam puts Melody down and ODB sits on the top rope for ten rams into the buckle (which was supposed to look like her crotch because that’s funny). ODB’s middle rope Thesz Press gets the pin.

Rating: D. This was just storyline stuff for the ODB showdown with Katie Lea where ODB would take the title. Melody was there for how she looked in shorts instead of anything resembling skill, making her perfect for a women’s wrestler at this point. Nothing to the match but it did what it was supposed to do.

ODB would head to TNA in late 2007 with one of her first singles matches coming on January 17, 2008’s Impact.

ODB vs. Angelina Love

The idea here should be obvious. ODB jumps Love as she comes in and hammers away, much to the crowd’s delight. A kick to the face looks to set up a Thesz Press off the middle rope but Angelina notices the flying ODB and steps to the side. Angelina gets two off a jawbreaker and the Botox Injection (not yet named) gets two. ODB comes back with a powerslam for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: D+. ODB’s charisma helped here and thankfully this was still a fresh match at the time. Angelina was still figuring out her character at this point but she had the tight tops and pants down already. ODB would get a nice push in the coming months and was already #1 contender at this point.

Here’s her title shot, at Against All Odds 2008.

Knockouts Title: ODB vs. Awesome Kong

They pull each others’ hair and ODB tries a slam which fails completely. ODB hits the floor and Raisha Saed, Kong’s mouthpiece, gets in her face. Back in and ODB is sent into the corner and a splash crushes her. Out to the floor again with Kong in control but her knee is hurting. ODB grabs her chest which is enough to wake her up somehow.

This is dull as all goodness if you didn’t get that. Kong tries the powerbomb but ODB fights her off and sits on the top rope. Kong hits the spinning backfist to the head and we’re back on the mat again. Thesz Press is caught so ODB, who isn’t a small girl by any means, tries a dropkick. The Thesz Press from the middle rope gets her down though but she still can’t slam Kong. Implant Buster gets two.

ODB nips up to avoid a middle rope splash and slams Kong for two. Gee maybe if it was bigger than a slam it would have worked. She gets a shot from her flask to wake her up. ODB can’t put Kong down still though. She hits Saed though and there’s the spinning backfist and the Awesome Bomb from Kong to retain.

Rating: D-. This was sloppy, dull, not interesting and just weak overall. They tried but the similarity of styles hurt it too much. You need power vs. speed rather than power vs. power. It took the Beautiful People to stop Kong and they were a breath of air into the division. This was pretty weak though.

With ODB being the uncouth one, she would be put in a feud with the Beautiful People. This set up a Bimbo Brawl, meaning a street fight, at Bound For Glory 2008.

ODB/Rhaka Khan/Rhyno vs. Beautiful People/Cute Kip

Traci Brooks is referee here and comes out to a cover of Rag Doll by Aerosmith. Just Skye and Love at this point. This is a Bimbo Brawl apparently. You know because 6 person tag is just too hard to say I guess. Kip gets in the face of a Detroit Tiger who is in Chicago just because I guess. ODB and Velvet start us off.

West tries to convince us that Rhyno and Kip are very similar physically. And people wonder why he was replaced. Genders can intertwine here apparently. Basically the Beautiful People keep trying to get various shots in, none of which work. Everyone keeps hiding from Khan other than Kip. Both of them go for chokeslams. She grabs his balls as this is going absolutely nowhere.

Khan is really bad in the ring to put it mildly. Why does ODB think she’s hot? Makeup box to ODB’s head sends her to the floor. ODB spanks herself to get fired up for…a tag. Thankfully the guys come in as the girls just aren’t that good at this point. Fameasser is blocked as Rhyno just stands up and Gores Kip to end it.

Rating: F+. And that’s only for Velvet. This was just boring as all goodness with six minutes of the girls doing nothing, leaving Rhyno as the best person in there. Let that sink in for a bit. Just a bad match that never did anything at all of note. At least it was short I guess.

Around this time, ODB would get a boyfriend in the form of Cody Deaner, who won a contest to spend a night with her. This led to exactly what you would expect, which we’ll get back to later. While not champion yet, ODB was one of the most over Knockouts on the roster and would be entered in the Queen of the Cage match at Lockdown 2009.

Madison Rayne vs. Sojourner Bolt vs. ODB vs. Daffney

This is Queen of the Cage which I think is just a fatal fourway for the name Queen of the Cage. Rayne is fairly new here. Apparently the winner gets a title shot. Deaner is with ODB. Daffney was the Governor recently as TNA decided to have a Sarah Palin character. ODB gets some Liquid Courage to make things all good. There’s an album pitch in there somewhere.

I’m pretty sure this is just the first fall wins it. Yeah that’s what it is according to West. Everyone beats down ODB and then the other three have a little thing. Deaner slips the flask through the cage to her which fires her way up. Daffney hits a Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza on Bolt. More drinking from ODB which is spat into Bolt’s face and a powerslam ends it.

Rating: D. Yeah I hated this. It was like six minutes long and was based around the joke of her more or less being an alcoholic. This was a waste of time and the ending was about as clear as a glass of water. Deaner and the whole white trash angle made Noble and Nidia look good. Not a fan of these matches at all.

Her title shot came at Hard Justice 2009.

Knockout Title: Velvet Sky/Angelina Love vs. Cody Deaner/ODB

Ok so Angelina is champion here and it’s a tag match with a guy fighting for the women’s title. Just go with it. Madison is with the blondes here. Angelina and ODB start us off here This is a rather basic match here and Angelina looks far better with fewer tattoos on her arm. Velvet comes in and do you really think it matters what goes on in this? Deaner comes in and spanks Velvet a bit.

Angelina comes in and gets a quick two on ODB. The heels take over as you would expect them to here. Velvet is rather red from the spanking. I didn’t need the image of Deaner doing that. Seated dropkick gets two for Angelina. Deaner comes back in and kisses both blondes. Make that all three of them as Madison takes some tongue apparently. The girls finally get it together and beat up Cody, only for him to avoid some hairspray from Madison and roll up Velvet for the pin and the title for ODB. Deaner would claim he was the real champion, because that’s how TNA rolls.

Rating: D. Yeah this was a mess. Velvet is hot as is Angelina, but ODB and Deaner were the focus here and I don’t see the need to have Deaner involved here at all. I think this led to Madison being tossed out of the team but that could have been done in a singles match also. Weak match and a stupid angle.

The title would be stripped soon, setting up ODB vs. Deaner at No Surrender 2009.

Knockout Title: Cody Deaner vs. ODB

Oh and these two used to date. That needs to be thrown in for no apparent reason. Naturally it’s a comedy match with ODB dominating. Low blow doesn’t work on ODB of course because she doesn’t have balls. Out to the floor and she dives on Deaner to take him down. Deaner isn’t allowed to punch her apparently which wasn’t announced but the referee says so and that’s law I guess.

Deaner slams her as this turns into ever other man vs. woman match with the guy doing very basic stuff to her and it’s supposed to be all devastating and no one cares. Deaner gets a shot from the flask so ODB grabs him by the balls as he comes off the middle rope. Thesz Press gets two for ODB and I remember watching this match, thinking if not begging that they wouldn’t let Deaner have the belt. Deaner and the referee argue into a rollup for two by ODB. There’s a comedy spot on a sunset flip and we’re finally done after a TKO to give ODB the title.

Rating: C-. Not a terrible match but the joke sucked and I don’t know how many people cared about ODB at the end of the day. At least she has the title and breasts which is the point of the title. Anyway pretty weak match here but it was at least somewhat competitive which is all you can ask for at times.

ODB would be champion heading into Bound For Glory 2009 with Deaner gone thank goodness.

Knockouts Title: Tara vs. ODB vs. Awesome Kong

ODB has beaten both of them already so we’ll just do it one more time I guess. Should be noted that this is the 5th match on the card, the fifth title match and the fifth match that isn’t a standard one on one or tag match. Think they’re overdoing anything here? Tara’s legs are awesome if nothing else. I never got the appeal of the ODB character at all.

Kong jumps both girls immediately but Tara goes right for her. And so much for that theory as Kong just crushes them. Middle rope splash misses both of them though and we get the rather sexy shirt rip off from Tara. She’d wear these tiny shorts and a Tapout shirt which she’d rip off to more or less reveal a half shirt. The faces fight over who gets the pin as it’s pure formula stuff here but FAR better than the Legends Title match.

Tara hooks the Tarantula but Kong makes the save, which isn’t really a save as you can’t get a submission there but you get the point. Tara gets into it with some fan that might be legit but I’m not sure. Upon further review it was Randy Couture’s wife who had wanted to do an MMA fight with Tara. All planned but TNA messed up the shot and didn’t see it. Why does this not surprise me?

Back in the ring Kong hits the middle rope splash on ODB, covering the entire front row in silicone. It gets two though as Tara makes the save. Implant Buster gets two as ODB kicks out on her own. Saed comes out and throws in a chair but Kong says no. She goes for a powerbomb on ODB and Saed slides the chair in again but ODB reverses into a face plant to the chair for the pin. Nice ending.

Rating: C-. Not a great match or anything but FAR better than the other one. There was a story and flow here rather than in the Legends match where nothing had any purpose it seemed. Everything worked here and while it’s not great it’s certainly watchable. Not bad here and definitely ok.

ODB would lose the title to Tara at Final Resolution. With everything changing in TNA, ODB would get a rematch for the title on the January 4, 2010 Impact.

Knockouts Title: ODB vs. Tara

It’s a brawl to start as ODB takes a shot from the flask. Tara stops her in the corner with an elbow before dropping ODB with a running clothesline. Some kicks to the ribs have ODB in trouble and a slam sets up the standing moonsault for two. Tara hooks a Tarantula followed by a slingshot flip legdrop and MAKE SURE TO FOLLOW DIXIE ON TWITTER! ODB counters the Black Widow into a rollup with tights (complete with going to a crowd shot when she pulled too far) for the pin and the title.

Here’s the rematch from Genesis 2010.

Knockouts Title: Tara vs. ODB

This is 2/3 falls which makes sense as they’ve had a match or two before and you can’t have the same match again as we had a few weeks ago and then ask people to pay for it. THAT WOULD MAKE NO SENSE! That Broken song is AWESOME. There’s not a ton going on in the first few minutes here as it’s just them going back and forth.

This is the problem with 2/3 falls matches: you don’t have to really pay attention until the second fall, which is starting right now as Tara hooks a small package for the first fall. Tara hooks the tarantula. Not a lot is going on here at all. We get a great shot of Tara’s hips to make this match much better. Brooke shot number 6. This time she’s with Joey Fatone.

If TNA insists on the celebrity thing, get celebrities that have mattered this millennium. ODB uses the freaking Tumbleweed. Are we in the mid 70s all of a sudden? She pulls something out of her cleavage to be odd before hitting a powerslam for two. This is kind of meandering along and needs to end soon. ODB keeps touching herself and checking her pulse. It’s freaking stupid looking. And the Widow’s Peak ends it. The timing was pretty good if nothing else. What is up with the freaking spider???

Rating: C-. Not great here as the 2/3 falls thing felt way too much like a gimmick for the sake of having a gimmick which I can If never advocate. Tara winning the title is fine, but she didn’t need to get two straight wins to do it. That was overkill which is never a good thing.

ODB would leave TNA for awhile before returning in 2011 as part of an alliance with Jacqueline because what would wrestling be without Jacqueline? Here’s one match from the pairing so we can move on to ANYTHING else. From July 7, 2011 on Impact.

Velvet Sky vs. ODB/Jackie

If Velvet wins, the two annoying girls leave TNA, despite technically not being in it right now. Velvet comes in through the crowd with a chair and takes out Jackie with a shot to the back. She and ODB start us off and Velvet is dominating. Jackie gets back in and the numbers start catching up with Velvet. We finally get down to regular tagging and never mind that as we’re back to the two on one at once. ODB tries to bring the chair back in but hits Jackie by mistake. A DDT by Velvet pins Jackie at 5:00.

Rating: D. The only good thing here was that ODB and Jackie are allegedly out of TNA now. The match wasn’t anything more than an ending to this story (I hope) and other than that it was just bad. Velvet isn’t that great in the ring and on her own she’s not capable of much physically other than looking good. Bad match.

Next up was a love story with Eric Young, leading to the two of them getting a Knockouts Tag Team Title shot because that’s how comedy in TNA works.

Knockout Tag Titles: ODB/Eric Young vs. Rosita/Sarita

The wedding is April 12. Oh great. Eric and Rosita start us off but Eric tags out to ODB with no contact. She takes Rosita down and misses the Bronco Buster. Sarita comes in and doesn’t do much so it’s back to Rosita. She takes a kick in the chest and a “spear” to set up the tag to Young. He does some cartwheels and takes off his pants. The girls hit on Eric and ODB gets mad about it. ODB cleans house and hits the Bam on Rosita before asking where Eric’s ring is. He can’t produce it so she kisses him and puts Eric on top of Rosita for the pin at 4:20.

Rating: F. I hate it I hate it I hate it. I HATE this angle and we’re going to have to put up with it for the next freaking month because we need COMEDY on this show because there’s so much going on we can’t even get the TV Champion on the show already, but we need time to have Eric strip every week.

Despite being a champion, ODB would barely wrestle. She would still be half of the Tag Champions when she had this match on October 18, 2012’s Impact.

Tara vs. ODB

Non-title and ODB yells at Eric on the phone for not being here. She’s still on the phone during her entrance. ODB grabs Tara and pounds away to start. Apparently Tessmacher gets a rematch next week. ODB puts her ring in her picket which can’t be a good thing. She slams Tara down and talks to Eric on the phone some more. Jesse gets his face shoved in ODB’s chest and it’s back to the phone. Tara keeps pulling ODB’s hair and let’s stop for more kissing. ODB takes a shot from the flak, spits it at Jesse, and hits the Bam for the pin at 3:14.

Rating: D. I hated this. I hate reality TV, I hate alcohol, I thought the phone thing was stupid, and I hate the booking of having the new champion lose four days after the title change. Oh and I hate women’s wrestling in general. Nothing to see here and I don’t care about anything that just happened.

Thankfully the titles would be stripped and retired in June 2013. ODB would only wrestle a handful of times in 2013, including this match at Hardcore Justice 2013.

Mickie James vs. ODB vs. Gail Kim

This is a hardcore match and not for Mickie’s title. ODB runs them over to start and hits her chest grabbing splashes on both girls in the corner. Mickie pulls her out of the corner but Gail isn’t interested in an alliance. Gail pounds on ODB as Mickie wedges a chair into the corner. ODB is whipped into said chair and the other girls get a stereo two count. Mickie rolls up Gail for two and they slug it out with until Gail is sent to the floor. Kim sends ODB back inside and goes to look for a weapon but gets a knee from Mickie instead.

James finds a kendo stick from somewhere and cracks ODB over the back before choking Gail with it. ODB comes back in and pounds on them with the stick before pulling one of her two bras out of the top to choke both girls with it. Mickie gets in a shot and puts on the figure four around the post as Gail chokes away but they can’t get along again. ODB gets a shot from the flask and sprays Mickie in the face but Gail breaks up the Bam. Another stick shot misses and ODB hits the Bam on Gail on the chair for the pin at 6:48.

Rating: D+. Did you know ODB was uncouth and does stuff that isn’t proper or whatever you call it? Don’t worry if you don’t because TNA will beat it over your head until you get the idea. The match was nothing special and felt more like a WWE style street fight with the really basic weapons and little more.

That and a few other wins were enough to get ODB a Knockouts Title shot on September 19, 2013’s Impact.

Knockouts Title: ODB vs. Mickie James

Mickie is defending. ODB easily turns back a sneak attack and pounds away on Mickie but gets dropkicked down for two. Mickie charges into an elbow in the corner but she pulls ODB down off the middle rope to take over. A spear puts Mickie down for two more and there’s the fall away slam to send Mickie to the floor. She wants a timeout but trips ODB up, catching her inside the ring skirt as we take a break.

Back with Mickie getting two off a neckbreaker and catching a charging ODB with a boot to the jaw. A hurricanrana out of the corner is countered into an ODB powerbomb to put both girls down. They slug it out with ODB taking over and putting Mickie down with a clothesline. Back up and a suplex is good for two on the champion but she catches ODB with a spinning kick to the face to take over again. Mickie loads up a tornado DDT out of the corner, only to have ODB counter it into the Bam for the pin and the title at 10:55.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but how many times can we have the same pairings over and over again in this division? Mickie is apparently leaving after this match, so who in the world is ODB supposed to fight now? Velvet? Brooke? Are either of them even active wrestlers at this point?

We’ll wrap this up at Final Resolution 2013 as ODB has lost the title but is out for revenge on Gail Kim’s monster Lei’D Tapa.

Gail Kim/Lei’D Tapa vs. ODB/Madison Rayne

Tapa throws Madison down to start so it’s off to ODB for the power showdown. ODB gets slammed with ease and it’s off to Gail as the announcers talk about a kickboxing show. The champion lays in some kicks before it’s back to Tapa for some choking. Tapa misses a charge in the corner and it’s off to Madison for some house cleaning. ODB is sent to the floor but Madison counters Eat Defeat into a backslide for the pin at 5:50.

Rating: D+. This was what it was. Madison is a good hand to have back and the new looks works very well for her, but bringing in one new girl isn’t going to help the division’s long term problems. Tapa continues to bore me to death every time I see her. She’s big and different looking and that’s the end of her appeal.

ODB is the epitome of a one note character that appeals to the lowest common denomenator. She can have some decent matches though and is full of charisma, which is more than I can say about most of the division. At the end of the day though, she suffers from the same problem all of the Knockouts have: we’ve seen all of these matches a dozen times, making it hard to get involved in the feuds again.

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Knockout Knockdown
Date: September 6, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s time for another one of these shows because having four months between regular PPVs is perfectly fine in TNA. Tonight’s theme is pretty obvious: it’s all about the girls with a bunch of singles matches and the winners going into a battle royal to determine who is the best Knockout EVER. In other words, it’s the same one idea show as the tag team and X-Division shows. Let’s get to it.

The opening video basically says it’s all about the Knockouts and that’s it. Oh and it’s produced by Brooke Hogan so she can get her name on something else.

All of the Knockouts come to the ring to open the show. A lot of these girls are from OVW or have never appeared in TNA before. They’re here for a speech from Brooke to make sure we know she exists. She explains the tournament like it’s a regular tournament despite everything else I can find saying it’s a battle royal at the end with the winners of the previous match.

We get a clip from Bound For Glory 2007 where Gail Kim beat Roxxi Leveaux in the final match of a gauntlet match to become the first champion.

Gail Kim is in the back and lists off her accomplishments and says she’ll be the winner tonight. Madison Rayne pops in and says it would be awesome for Gail to become the new Queen of TNA.

Gail Kim vs. Alissa Flash

Flash is more famous as Cheerleader Melissa and Raisha Saed in TNA. Gail grabs a headlock to start as Taz complains about being ranked too low in PWI one year. Now it’s on to the Cauliflower Alley Club as Flash counters into an arm crank, only to have Gail take her down with relative ease. Flash comes back with a German suplex to send Gail to the outside for a breather.

A quick chase scene goes nowhere until Gail sends her into the barricade to take over. Back in and Gail chokes away before getting two off a missile dropkick. Off to an Octopus Hold (AJ’s Black Widow, even though the Octopus Hold is normally the name of a different hold entirely) but Flash counters into something resembling the Edgecator. Gail gets to the ropes and manages to kick Flash in the head to escape.

Flash goes nuts for a second and pounds away before taking Gail down with a Samoan drop. Some clotheslines put Gail down and Flash hits some rapid fire punches in the corner. Something like a curb stomp gets two and a missile dropkick gets the same for Alissa. A dragon screw leg whip puts Gail down but Alissa walks into Eat Defeat out of nowhere for the pin.

Rating: C+. The abrupt ending aside, this was a nice match. As annoying as Gail has become due to always being on Impact, she can go in the ring when she has someone to work with. Flash was solid out there as well which shouldn’t surprise anyone who has seen her indy stuff. Good stuff here but I have a feeling it’s downhill from this point on.

Video on Lei’D Tapa who has only been wrestling for two years now. She cries because her uncle, the Barbarian, is so proud of her. I think this is her Gut Check video. It still should have been Ivelisse.

We get Ivelisse’s Gut Check video as well. Again, she has more experience, a better look, an MMA background (remember that the Gut Check with her and Tapa was around the time that Ronda Rousey was headlining a UFC show) and is very good looking, but she’s not the Barbarian’s niece so she has no future right?

Ivelisse vs. Lei’D Tapa

Tapa takes her down with ease and sends Ivelisse into the corner. Ivelisse gets all fired up and kicks Tapa back before a kick to the ribs sends Lei’D down. Tapa tries to sit down onto Ivelisse to block a sunset flip but only hits mat. A shot to the ribs takes Ivelisse down and a bad looking slam does the same. Ivelisse chops away but gets clotheslined back down followed by something like an AA for no cover.

Tapa chokes her down and pounds on Ivelisse’s back some more but charges into a kick in the corner. A bad looking rana (since Tapa is a freaking giant) puts Tapa down to the floor and a BIG dive takes her down again. The fans are into Ivelisse, giving TNA even more proof that they screwed up. Back in and Ivelisse puts on a guillotine choke but Tapa swings her forward into a slam for the pin.

Rating: D+. It still should have been Ivelisse. I still see absolutely nothing from her that would make me want to watch another one of her matches. She’s nothing special in the ring, she doesn’t talk that well and the fans don’t care. The ONLY thing she has going for her is her size but she’s not dominant like Kong was. She’s just big and that’s not enough to build a career on. I still haven’t heard a reason I agree with to pick Tapa but it’s another reason to criticize them.

We get a clip from BFG 2012 where Tara won the Knockouts Title and introduced Jesse Godderz as her Hollywood boyfriend.

Tara brags about being awesome and Jesse acts like a jerk of course.

Tara vs. Mia Yim

Yim is another indy chick that I’ve never seen before. Tara shoves her down to start before going to chill next to Jesse. A hiptoss puts Mia down as the announcers ignore the match with one of their stupid conversations about nothing at all. Mia comes back with some hiptosses to send Tara to the floor and a missile dropkick sends her right back outside. We get another chase with Jesse grabbing Mia’s leg to give Tara control.

Tara clotheslines her down for two but Mia Matrixes out of it in a nice counter. We hit the chinlock on Yim but she gets the knees up to block Tara’s standing moonsault. Mia comes back with a bunch of kicks and a Lionsault gets no cover as Mia injures her ribs. Instead a German suplex gets two on Tara but a Jesse distraction causes Mia to miss a corkscrew splash. The Widow’s Peak sends Tara to the battle royal.

Rating: C. Mia didn’t look bad here but there’s only so much you can show in six minutes. That’s part of the problem with this show so far: these matches, other than maybe the opener which has gotten more time than the other matches, feel like they belong on Impact. Granted we’re only 45 minutes in and the show hasn’t been terrible or anything yet.

Video on some campaign called Dare To Be, which is little more than a way to show a swimsuit photo shoot. Nothing wrong with that other than ODB. It basically turns into a music video with a lot of shots of a graphic for the Knockouts website.

Video of Tessmacher winning the Knockouts Title.

Miss Tessmacher vs. Santana

Santana Garrett is another indy chick who is rather good looking. Both girls pose on the corner to start with Tessmacher being more popular. Santana takes over with a quick clothesline and a Russian legsweep for two. Off to a Fujiwara Armbar on Tessmacher but she rolls through and kicks Santana in the head for two. Santana hits a low kick of her own for two and it’s off to a freaky looking double arm submission.

Tess fires off a headbutt and avoids a middle rope cross body before a forearm puts Santana down. A Stinkface annoys Santana so she slams Tess down but a Tajiri handspring into a moonsault hits knees. The Tess Shocker (the belly to back suplex into a face plant) gets the pin on Santana in a quick match.

Rating: C-. Santana is another chick who looked decent out there and Tessmacher was her usual self. You can take that line to mean whatever you like for it to mean. They probably did the right thing here by keeping things short as Tessmacher isn’t the kind of chick you want in a long match. Just have her look good on camera and get out of there quick.

ODB says she’s tough and doesn’t care who she’s fighting tonight. She’s fighting Trinity and promises to out drink her.

Now, for more proof that these are a waste of time, here’s the ENTIRE ODB and Eric Young wedding. Literally, they spent fifteen minutes showing us the ENTIRE SEGMENT. Are they that strapped for cash that they can’t take one of the girls in the three way tonight and thrown a few hundred bucks at some indy chick to give her the biggest match of her career? Instead we get this entire thing which really has nothing to do with the Knockouts. It’s a comedy angle that came and went and that’s about it. Egads what a waste of time.

ODB vs. Trinity

Trinity still looks good. She talks trash to start so ODB rubs her crotch at Trinity to show how classy she is. A clothesline puts Trinity on the floor for our first move in a minute and a half. ODB follows her out and rams Trinity into the apron before a LOUD chop fires the crowd up a bit. ODB uses a handshake to pull Trinity into a clothesline but Trinity takes her down and stomps a bit. This is going nowhere. ODB keeps crawling towards her flask before coming back with another clothesline. She finally gets the flask and goes nuts with a bronco buster for two. The Bam is good for the pin on Trinity to finally end this.

Rating: D. ODB isn’t classy. We get it already. Now do ANYTHING else. Trinity looked great in her attire but was nothing to see in the ring at all. Why I’m supposed to cheer a loud woman who rubs her crotch and can’t function in a wrestling match without alcohol is beyond me, but they’re going to push her forever anyway.

Video on Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell, including their awesome last Knockout standing match.

Taryn Terrell vs. Jackie Moore

In case you’ve never heard my opinion on Moore, we’ll keep it simple and say I wouldn’t mind if she was trampled by stampeding camels. Why she keeps getting spots on shows is beyond me, but I’m sure she can shout really loudly and explain why, because shouting really loudly is just as good as anything else right?

Jackie pounds away but Taryn comes back with an elbow to the face. Terrell pounds away in the corner but Jackie slams her down and calls her Barbie. Some hair drags have Taryn down even more and we hit the chinlock. A back elbow drops Taryn for two and it’s back to the chinlock. Back up and a double clothesline puts both girls down as the crowd isn’t all that interested. Taryn fires off some clotheslines and gets two off a clothesline. A middle rope clothesline puts Jackie down and a spear gets two more. Taryn misses a middle rope bulldog and Jackie dropkicks her down for the pin. Just go with it.

Rating: D. At the beginning of this show, we saw a video of the Taryn vs. Gail match and heard about how great it was. We then got a long video about their entire feud. Instead of having them meet in the main event, WE GET JACKIE FREAKING MOORE BECAUSE SHE’S LOUD AND WRESTLED MEN BEFORE AND THAT’S SUPPOSED TO BE INTERESTING. The match sucked because Jackie Moore exists. Moving on.

Video on British Boot Camp to introduce us to the Blossom Twins.

Hannah Blossom is excited to be here even though her sister Holly is still in England.

Taeler Hendrix vs. Sojournor Bolt vs. Hannah Blossom

Hendrix was a Gut Check chick who got released, Bolt wrestled here for a bit a few years back and Blossom is a British blonde with a twin, both of whom wrestled in OVW for years before the Boot Camp show. Taeler looks great here. Before the match Bolt says since she’s been gone, no one has been bigger, better or blacker. Bolt and Hendrix tease an alliance as the fans chant USA.

We get a three way test of strength to start with Blossom getting double teamed. A double hiptoss puts Hannah down and the argument begins between the “friends”. Hannah rams their heads together to take over, only to have Bolt take her down and grab a leg lock. Hendrix adds a chinlock at the same time to make the Brit scream. Taeler takes off her skirt to reveal some shorts, making the crowd love her even more.

Hendrix and Bolt chop it out as Taz and Tenay make stupid Twitter jokes. Bolt is sent to the floor so Hannah can take over on Taeler. Bolt pulls Hendrix to the floor and hits a Death Valley Driver for two on Blossom. Taeler and Bolt get in a shouting match before Bolt holds Hannah, only to have Taeler run Bolt over. A bicycle kick from Hannah takes Taeler down for the pin.

Rating: C. It’s a shame that Hendrix is gone as the fans were eating her up with a spoon here. Bolt was fine and could work well in TNA and Hannah looked WAY better than I remember her in OVW. This was one of the better matches tonight but again with just five minutes it didn’t have time to go anywhere. At least we saw the wedding though right?

Another music video on the Knockouts.

Jillian Hall vs. Velvet Sky

You probably remember Jillian from her bad singing schtick in WWE which may or may not have been a Brooke Hogan parody. Jillian does the singing bit here which stopped being funny years ago. The fans are entirely behind Velvet as she accuses Jillian of a hair pull. Some forearms stagger Jillian and she charges into a boot in the corner.

Velvet sends her into the buckle over and over and spanks her for good measure. A bulldog gets two on Jillian but she sends Velvet out to the floor. Sky is sent into the steps so Jillian can ram her head into the mat a few times. A backbreaker gets two on Velvet as Taz shouts about Jillian fooling him or some nonsense like that.

Off to an arm crank from Hall before she stomps on Velvet’s back a bit. Sky blocks a suplex and hits a kind of front DDT to put both girls down. Jillian takes over and pounds away but a clothesline is only good for two. Jillian’s handspring elbow is countered into a victory roll but Hall drops down into a rollup for two (think Bret vs. Owen at WM X). Not that it matters as Velvet wins with In Yo Face a few seconds later.

Rating: D. Jillian was always all looks/gimmick and nothing in the ring, which can probably be applied to Velvet as well. The match was nothing of note but Taz and Tenay’s idiotic talking brought it down even further. There was nothing going on here but at least we got to look at Velvet for a few minutes.

Video on Mickie James’ career in TNA, mainly focusing on beating Madison in a cage at Lockdown in about 30 seconds.

Serena vs. Mickie James

Serena is the chick who used to be in the Straightedge Society but now she has long hair which really works for her. I believe this is before Mickie’s heel turn. They hug it out and shake hands to start. Taz: “WHAT THE HECK IS THIS???” Serena takes her to the mat as Tenay and Taz talk about Lance Russell for no apparent reason. Mickie gets caught in a headscissors on the mat but she bounces out, giving the male fans some nice shots. After some nice mat work it’s off to a wristlock by Serena leading to a standoff.

They shake hands again as Taz loudly shouts HARDCORE COUNTRY over and over. Mickie rides Serena on the mat a bit and Serena can’t armdrag out of it. A Jackknife cover gets two for James and an Oklahoma Roll gets the same. Back up and Serena wants a test of strength but Mickie shouts that she has bigger hands than Serena. Mickie takes her down to the mat but Serena bridges up to take over. Now it’s James with a bridge which Serena can’t even break by bouncing down onto her.

Mickie fights up and hits a basement dropkick to send Serena to the floor as this is by far already the best match of the night so far. Back in and Serena offers another handshake but pulls Mickie into a headlock to take over. A back elbow sends Mickie to the floor just like she did to Serena a few seconds ago. Serena blasts Mickie in the face as she comes back in as we have our mid match heel turn. Mickie is slammed head first into the mat by the hair for two and Serena poses a lot.

We hit the chinlock as Taz scores the match for some reason. Back up and Serena misses a charge into the post and Mickie gets a needed breather. They slug it out with both girls throwing haymakers and Mickie taking over. A clothesline puts Deeb down and the top rope Thesz Press (minus the Press) sets up the MickieDT for the pin on Serena.

Rating: B-. This was much better than anything else we had seen so far tonight. Deeb clearly knows what she’s doing out there and the long hair makes her look better than she did bald. I liked the idea of her turning in the middle of the match as it gave the match a bit of a story. Good stuff here.

We recap the show so far to set up the gauntlet.

Gauntlet Match

So apparently it’s the usual Royal Rumble style until we get to the final two where it’s pin/submission for the win. All of the winners from earlier in the night are involved. Hannah Blossom and Gail Kim get us going for presumably two minutes. Gail goes right at Hannah to start and takes her down with a backbreaker. Some corner choking has the Brit in even more trouble as this is one sided so far. Hannah comes back with a quick suplex and an elbow drop for a cover before realizing how the rules work. Not that it matters as Gail knocks her to the apron and then the floor for the elimination.

Lei’D Tapa is #3 after about a minute and fifty seconds, though they probably sped it up for the sake of time. Either that or it’s an actual gauntlet with the next person coming in after an elimination. Gail pounds on her in the corner to start but Tapa comes back with some power choking and a big boot to the face. Tapa can’t get her out due to a rake of the eyes and here’s Tara at #4. Tara goes after Lei’D but can’t lift her up in a fireman’s carry. Tapa takes her over to the ropes but Gail makes the same and the two normal sized girls double team the monster.

Mickie is #5 as Tapa beats on both other girls. James fires off kicks in the corner to the big girl and the other two help her out, only to be shoved away by Tapa. Tenay makes Andre the Giant comparisons and Taz goes off on him for stupidity, despite the comparison making sense. In a bad looking botch, Mickie tries a hurricanrana on Tapa with the other girls helping, only to see Mickie fall to the floor as well. She gets back in and it’s never acknowledged but it looked horrible. Either way it eliminates Tapa as Tessmacher is in at #6.

Tessmacher goes after Tara as Mickie and Gail fight for the 1000th time. Gail is sent to the apron but gets back in as Tara sends Tessmacher to the apron for the same result. Jackie Moore is in at #7 to bring the match down a few pegs. Gail and Jackie stomp on Tessmacher and Mickie kicks at Tara in the corner. ODB is #8 as everyone is laying around. She and Jackie get into it almost immediately before ODB opts to spank Tara a bit. ODB takes a shot from the flash and spits it in Jackie’s face before eliminating her.

Velvet Sky is #8, giving us a final grouping of Gail, ODB, Tara, Mickie, Tessmacher and Sky. Everyone pairs off as this is in full on traditional battle royal formula. Tessmacher kicks Mickie to the apron but can’t get her any further than that. Velvet and ODB wind up on the apron and slug it out with Velvet knocking ODB to the floor for an elimination. Gail easily eliminates Velvet and we’re down to four.

Gail and Tara throw Tessmacher out before double teaming James in the corner. Tara turns on Gail and hits the fireman’s carry into the side slam, allowing Mickie to get back up and hammer on Tara a bit. Mickie throws Tara out to get us down to two, meaning it’s Gail vs. Mickie, first fall wins. Gail is in early trouble and gets caught by the Thesz Press for two. Gail blocks the MickieDT but gets slammed out of the corner, injuring her ankle in the process. Mickie totally falls for it as the trainer comes out, but it’s a ruse (SHOCKING!) as Gail rolls up Mickie with a handful of shorts for the pin and the Miss TNA crown.

Rating: D. This was every gauntlet match you’ve ever seen: slow for the most part with a few nice moments, but for the most part it’s paint by numbers stuff. The ending was nothing special as the “match” was about a minute long with over half of that being spent on the fake injury. Not much to see here but at least it was longer than anything else.

Post match Madison comes out to give Gail her crown. Gail makes Madison leave after being crowned to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Here’s the problem with the Knockouts in general and this show in particular: the roster is so thin that we’ve seen almost all of the main matches ad nauseum. At the time this show aired, I believe there are four or five active Knockouts. Other than Taryn (who lost to the great and mighty Jackie Moore), almost no one new has been added to the division in over a year. There’s just nothing in the division and the final group of people here were the same girls we’ve seen forever. TNA desperately needs to bring in some fresh blood and the Blossoms, Serena, Flash or Ivelisse would be great places to start.

The show was nothing great with most of the matches just not having the time they needed to go anywhere. Also, there was WAY too much filler. I get the idea of a video here or there, but airing the ENTIRE fifteen minute wedding segment plus a bunch of other videos on a two hour and forty minute show is ridiculous. Again, I’m sure you could find one other girl to bring in and make the triple threat a singles match and pad out the show much better. There’s just nothing to see here and the show felt like it was just trying to fill in time until it was over.

 

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First D’Lo and now the Gut Check thing.  Let’s recap.
Ivelisse – Smoking hot, has an MMA background which is the hottest sport in the country and Ronda Rousey is arguably the new face of the sport, can move, can wrestle, can talk, has a ton of potential, WWE thought she was good.

Tapa – Can’t do much in the ring, doesn’t look great, but she’s Barbarian’s niece.

The complains write themselves.