This is one of the best lists WWE has ever put together.  #1 still gives me chills.

#20-#11:

#10-#1:

They’re missing a huge one though:

The place erupted on that pin. Still though, excellent list and if anything else had been #1 it would have failed. You can barely hear the announcement of a new champion.

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 15, 2013
Location: Barclays Center, Brooklyn, New York
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Money in the Bank and the main stories are Orton and Sandow winning the briefcases. Cena retained his title, meaning that Orton is lurking in the shadows for whomever the champion is over the next year. We also saw Heyman screw Punk after berating Axel for screwing Bryan, with only the latter being a surprise. The road to Summerslam begins tonight so let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Brad Maddox opens the show by announcing Ziggler vs. Del Rio in an MITB rematch. He’s about to explain why he’ll be the greatest GM of all time but Cena interrupts. Cena says Brad has already made history because this is the only time during his administration that he won’t be the most hated person in the ring. The jury is still out on Maddox so we should give him a chance. Maddox sucks up to Cena and has been a fan of his since he was a teenager. Therefore, Cena gets to pick his own opponent for Summerslam.

The fans immediately start the YES chants but Cena thinks he could face anyone from Michael Cole to a Bella Twin. Cue Randy Orton who says Cena might not be champion at Summerslam. Orton says he isn’t cashing in tonight because he doesn’t want to make the same mistake Cena made last year. He isn’t going to cash in when Cena is ready though, and Cena will never see it coming.

This brings out Fandango of all people to send the crowd into the dance. Fandango says he’s Orton is going to cash the case in against him because the people want to see Fandango vs. John Cena. He does his name but Orton jumps him to start a fight. Fandango…..actually sends Orton the floor but Orton comes back in and lays out the dancer. Maddox makes a match between them right now.

Randy Orton vs. Fandango

This is joined in progress with Orton in control but missing a knee drop. Fandango gets in some shots to the face but Orton sends him to the floor and into the barricade. Orton sneaks up on him with a big clothesline and gets two off the belly to back suplex onto the barricade. Fandango takes over again with a cravate and the Randy Savage chant begins. Randy pounds away in the corner and gets two off a dropkick. Fandango gets a kick to Orton’s head to take it to the floor. Randy is sent into the steps and we take a break.

Back with Fandango getting two off something we didn’t see. Fandango hooks another cravate but has to counter the backbreaker into a belly to back for two. Orton comes back with a clothesline in the corner and a t-bone suplex for no cover. A superplex puts Fandanago down but Randy hits some clotheslines and the powerslam instead of covering. The Elevated DDT is countered by a kick to the head but Fandango is crotched on the top. Now the Elevated DDT connects and the RKO is good for the pin at 13:05.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t bad but did anyone believe Fandango was going to take out Orton the night after that big of a win? He didn’t look bad out there but losing again isn’t going to help him at all. Then again Fandango had the nerve to get something over with the crowd so of course he’s going to lose every match he’s in.

Ziggler FINALLY breaks up with AJ over last night. AJ stares off into the distance.

Here’s Mark Henry with something to say. He gave it all he had last night and he came this close to winning the title. Henry has no regrets about what he did but wants to face Cena again at Summerslam. He took Cena to his limits once and he can do it again. Instead of Cena he gets the Shield of all people to surround Henry. Mark fights them off as well as he can but the numbers finally catch up to him. Henry fights them off for a bit but a Reigns spear finally puts him down. They actually hit the TripleBomb to leave Henry laying and impress the crowd.

Maddox is on the phone when Jericho comes in. He knows Jericho wants to be champion and the best way to do that is to impress Cena. Jericho could do that by facing say….Rob Van Dam? Chris likes the idea and Maddox smirks a bit.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler

Non-title here. Ziggler scores with a quick dropkick and a neckbreaker for two followed by the ten elbow drops. The champion comes back with a kick to the ribs and the reverse superplex. Dolph pounds away but gets caught in a HUGE backdrop to the floor as we take a break. Back with Del Rio still in control but missing the low superkick. Instead Del Rio launches him into the air before stomping his head.

Del Rio tries a charge into the corner but gets caught in a tornado DDT for two. They slug it out but Del Rio BLASTS him with a right hand to take over. Ziggler ducks a charge and hits a big dropkick for two but can’t this the Fameasser. A German suplex gets two for Alberto and he fires off some headbutts to daze Ziggy. The cross armbreaker is countered into a swinging neckbreaker but Del Rio comes back with an enziguri for two.

Alberto puts him in the Tree of Woe but misses a charge to send himself shoulder first into the post. Now the Fameasser hits for two out of the corner…..but the bell rings. Yep it’s AJ with the evil look on her face and the distraction lets Del Rio hit the low superkick for the pin at 13:43.

Rating: C. This was decent but not as good as last night. The WWE formula of “guy gets over so let’s have him lose every big match he’s in”. Why they think this makes people care about him is beyond me but it’s what we’re going to get no matter what. Ziggler has now lost twice in a row but I’m sure it makes him look stronger or something like that.

Post match AJ goes nuts on Dolph until Langston comes out to run Ziggler over. The Big Ending leaves him laying and AJ kisses his unconscious mouth.

R-Truth comes out for a match but is cut off by the Wyatt Family. The Family takes Truth down and send him to the floor. Harper looks to Wyatt for approval and Bray gets into the ring. He says there’s no such thing as a hero anymore but the people have become addicted to the illusion of what a hero is. The people need someone to tuck you in bed at night and kiss you on the cheek. Everything isn’t alright because the man who made everyone is a liar. Your own flesh and blood turned his back on you but Wyatt will never turn his back on you. Maybe he’s been the answer all along.

Truth gets back on the apron with a chair but Bray sends the monsters back. He offers Truth a free shot with a big smile on his face and his eyes closed. The monsters sneak up on truth but Wyatt hits a splash in the corner. The beatdown is on and Truth is destroyed before Bray kisses him on the head and hits Sister Abigail (swinging Downward Spiral). Bray says that’s not the truth he seeks and that Kane needs to follow the buzzards. The lights cut out and we go to a WWE App poll for who gets to face the Real Americans.

Video on the Performance Center.

Zeb Colter and the Real Americans rant about the American melting pot and tell Cena to pick one of the Real Americans for his match at Summerslam.

The WWE App vote selects the Usos to face Swagger and Cesaro (other options were Tons of Funk and the Prime Time Players).

Usos vs. Real Americans

Jey starts by punching Cesaro into the corner before bringing in Jimmy off a tag. Cesaro hits a quick gutwrench suplex and brings in Jack for a Vader bomb. Jimmy dives into the corner for a tag and everything breaks down. Cesaro’s gutwrench is countered into a rollup for the pin by Jey at 2:17.

Damien Sandow vs. Christian

Sandow bails to the floor to start before catching Christian coming back in. The Canadian loads up a tornado DDT but gets shoved out to the floor to give Damien control. Back in and the tornado DDT connects for two on Sandow and a high cross body gets the same. The Terminus is countered and a middle rope back elbow puts Sandow down. Sandow hits the Russian legsweep but the Wind-Up Elbow is countered into a rollup for the pin for Christian at 3:07.

Rating: D. Again let me get this straight: you have a guy win a major match after losing everything for months and he loses the first match he has as the briefcase winner. Yet this company continues to wonder why no one can get over as either a face or a heel in this company. The match was nothing of note.

Post match Sandow declares himself still the savior of the briefcase but Cody Rhodes runs in to chase him off.

Vickie Guerrero was asking people to sign a petition for her earlier today.

Naomi vs. Brie Bella

Naomi hits a quick high kick to send Brie to the floor but Brie trips her up for two. A hair drag sends Naomi down and Brie cranks on her head a bit. Naomi comes back with some dropkicks that miss so badly the announcers have to acknowledge it. The Rear View sets up a high cross body for the pin on Brie at 4:11.

Heyman bailed from the arena as soon as the show was over last night.

Here’s a ticked off CM Punk. He knows Heyman and Lesnar are here tonight and wants them here right now. He only gets Heyman who says he’s looking at an empty ring. Heyman says Punk was nothing when he got to WWE but Heyman built Punk into something. The two of them were WWE Champion for 434 days and nearly beat the Undertaker’s Wrestlemania streak. Without Heyman though, Punk isn’t the best in the world anymore.

All day people have been calling Heyman a Judas but here’s the truth: Punk let everyone down by losing to Undertaker and then walking out on the company. Now Punk has found himself and thinks he’s better than Paul Heyman. Heyman played him and now history is going to say that he dumped Punk instead of the other way around. Punk wanted things to be personal so Heyman made it personal last night. Punk has no wife, no children and is estranged from his mother and father.

All Punk has is the WWE Universe and their respect and affirmation. All Punk needs is the WWE Championship but Punk took Heyman’s best friend away. So Heyman took the chance at the WWE Championship away from Punk and the WWE Universe. Punk made Heyman swear on his children but it was Heyman’s children who made it clear. They asked him why Punk didn’t listen to their daddy and Heyman said it’s because CM Punk can’t beat Brock Lesnar.

Punk says he made the mistake of trusting Heyman and all he’s got to show for it are 13 staples in his head. Heyman knows how relentless Punk can be because he won’t stop if there’s something he wants. Punk wants Heyman and swears on Paul’s children that he’ll get him and will go through every one of Paul’s associates to do it. Heyman has no future because Punk is going to take everything he has until it’s just the two of them left.

Heyman knows Punk is telling the truth but writes Punk’s future on the ground. He shouts IT’S CLOBBERING TIME and here’s Lesnar. Heyman tries to jump Punk but Punk fires off forearms to Brock. Lesnar takes him down with knees to the chest but CM keeps fighting. Punk is LAUNCHED over the announce table but he dives at Brock anyway, only to be rammed into the post. Brock lays him out on the table with an F5 and stands over his prey. Punk can’t breathe and is holding his throat. Absolutely amazing segment here and one of the best in a LONG time.

Khali asks Cena for the title shot and Cena answers in whatever language Khali speaks. Khali is pleased.

HHH and Stephanie come in to see Maddox and mess with him about the main event tonight. They tell him he only got the job because he was standing there.

Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Jericho

Feeling out process to start with van Dam firing off forearms to take over. The fans tell him he’s still got it but he walks into a dropkick from Jericho. The ECW chants start up and Van Dam takes Jericho down with a spin kick to set up the monkey flip. Jericho comes back with the enziguri for two and a belly to back suplex puts Van Dam down as we take a break.

Back with Jericho escaping a bodyscissors and trying the Walls. RVD escapes but gets kicked to the floor but catches Jericho in the face with a spin kick for two. Back to the body vice but Jericho counters into a powerbomb to escape. Jericho rolls away to escape Rolling Thunder but hits a moonsault off the apron to take Jericho down as we take another break.

Van Dam runs Jericho over but Jericho comes back with shoulders of his own. A top rope elbow to the head drops Van Dam but he avoids the Lionsault. Now Rolling Thunder connects for two but Jericho gets the same off a DDT. The Walls are countered and RVD superkicks Jericho down. The split legged moonsault misses and Jericho hits the Lionsault for two more. Van Dam kicks Jericho in the face but the Five Star attempt is broken up. A top rope front flip takes Jericho down but a standing rana is caught in the Walls. He makes the ropes and kicks Jericho down again before hitting the Five Star for the pin at 21:30.

Rating: C+. This is firmly in the category of long rather than good. It wasn’t a bad match at all but getting over twenty minutes is a big stretch. Thankfully it was a completely clean win which is what Jericho is best at: putting people over. Both guys looked solid and Van Dam can still go, but you could have cut five minutes out of this easily.

The roster is on the stage for Cena’s decision. Cena talks about how the fans don’t always agree with what Cena does but it’s because they’re honest with him. A decision this big needs help from the WWE Universe. The fans immediately chant for Bryan but Cena wants to list off some names. The fans aren’t impressed with the birthday boy Heath Slater or any member of 3MB.

They’re a little more interested in Randy Orton but even less in Great Khali. Del Rio is booed out of the building and Jericho gets some polite applause. RVD of course gets a good reaction but the fans aren’t interested in Fandango or Sheamus. No on Ryback as well so Cena asks if there’s anyone he’s forgetting. The YES chants begin but Cena says he has his decision. The Daniel Bryan chants cut Cena off but he says he respects the beard. Cena’s pick is……..Daniel Bryan, drawing the biggest cheer Cena will EVER get in New York. Cue Bryan and the place goes NUTS. He does the chant in Cena’s face to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was an interesting show as there were definitely parts that dragged, but the stuff that was good was REALLY good. The Wyatt Family was amazing and thankfully the WHAT chants were pretty silent as most fans were interested in what they were watching instead of chanting. Summerslam has me drooling at a rate that I haven’t seen since last year’s Wrestlemania. Punk vs. Heyman and friends is going to be amazing and Cena vs. Bryan should rock as well. This was a solid show ad much more entertaining than last night’s PPV.

Results

Randy Orton b. Fandango – RKO

Alberto Del Rio b. Dolph Ziggler – Superkick

Usos b. Real Americans – Rollup to Cesaro

Christian b. Damien Sandow – Rollup

Naomi b. Brie Bella – High Cross Body

Rob Van Dam b. Chris Jericho – Five Star Frog Splash

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

I was wrong.  This is going to be amazing.

If you haven’t seen this, find it and watch it several times.  It’s one of the best segments I’ve seen in years.

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 2, 2012
Location: Laredo Energy Arena, Laredo, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re in the second half of the year now with Raw again. We have four MITB contestants so far and there’s a rumor of a fifth showing up. I believe it’ll be a former champion but it’s hard to say given how this company keeps its stipulations straight. Lesnar is supposed to be here tonight too so we’ll get more of him vs. HHH. This is one of those shows that is going to be used to build towards the PPV. Let’s get to it.

After more technical difficulties, here’s Cena to open things up. He talks about how last week was his crash course in MITB because you never know when someone is going to come and break things up. He’ll win the case and the title and all the stuff you would expect him to say. Cue Bryan chanting YES. Cena: “See? Even Bryan agrees with me.” Bryan says he’ll win the title at MITB so Cena won’t be the next champion.

Cue Punk who says he disagrees with Bryan’s claim that he’ll win. He asks people if they disagree with Bryan, getting a lot of YES chants. For some reason only Cena has had theme music so far. Punk says that Bryan’s ex-girlfriend will be counting the shoulders down, and then it’s Punk vs. Cena all over again. Cue Jericho (with music) who says he’s tired of people stealing his catchphrases. Bryan cuts him off and is told to shut up as only Jericho can say it.

Jericho welcomes us to Raw Is Jericho and says that after tonight no one will evvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvver be the same again. He says he’ll win MITB and dares anyone to come out and say otherwise, and of course he’s Kane. Kane says otherwise in something that made me chuckle. Cue Big Show and it’s a big brawl. Kane beats on Jericho and Cena goes after Big Show while Bryan and Punk are both going to the floor. Kane goes after Big Show but Show knocks everyone down.

David Otunga/Cody Rhodes/Prime Time Players vs. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth/Christian/Santino Marella

Christiana nd Young start things off and a middle rope missile dropkick gets two for the Canadian. Off to Truth for his first action in months after a broken foot. Young tries a right hand but gets gyrated at instead. Off to Kofi who hits a middle rope shoulder for two. Boom Drop is broken up by Titus who pulls Darren to the floor. Kofi dives onto Titus but gets clotheslined down by Young as everything breaks down.

We take a break and come back with Cody holding Kofi in a surfboard. AW is mic’d up now for some reason. Titus comes in and slams Kofi for two. Kofi gets in a shot and it’s off to Santino vs. Otunga. Santino hits that quick suplex and a Stunner for two. Everything breaks down again and the Prime Time Players walk off. Santino hits his usual and Cody walks out on Otunga. Cue Brodus Clay of all people as Santino loads up the Cobra. Otunga keeps trying to run but gets thrown into the Cobra for the pin at 6:24. Too short to rate given what we saw but this was organized chaos at its best.

Otunga takes a bunch of finishers post match and we get a big dance party.

Teddy (in charge tonight) is dancing in the back when Alberto and Ricardo come in. Alberto earned his one on one title match and he wants it by Jorge. The Board has said that Alberto gets his title match at MITB but tonight, Alberto has a surprise opponent.

Stephanie talks about her dad getting ready for the 99 Rumble. It was basically a Rocky parody mixed with a way to show off that Vince was in great shape.

Alberto Del Rio vs. ???

Cole talks about how the car was driven here from Alberto’s home near Mexico City. That makes me wonder: how does he get these cars everywhere? Does he have a big fleet of people driving/transporting them all over the country? If so….that’s kind of awesome. The fans GO OFF on Alberto with some Spanish swearing. Here’s the opponent.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Sin Cara

Think Cara is popular in south Texas? Cole calls Mexican wrestlers lucha libres. Mike Tenay he is not. Del Rio jumps Cara as he comes into the ring and goes insane on him. The bell hasn’t rung yet. Del Rio destroys Cara on the floor and puts him in the armbreaker so Cara taps. There was no match.

Bryan is in the back and steals a flower from a random bouquet. He comes up to AJ and apologizes, even though AJ has Punk X’s on his hands. She says that’s sweet and of course has nothing to do with the title match at the PPV. Tonight she’s going to win and run into the arms of her soul mate. She destroys the flower and leaves.

Heyman is live via satellite instead of Lesnar being here.

There’s a 20 man battle royal tomorrow on Smackdown. The winner is next week’s GM of Smackdown. Ok then.

After a recap of the Heyman/HHH challenge to Lesnar, we’re told by Heyman that Brock will deliver his answer to HHH in person at the 1000th Raw. Lesnar wants to face HHH at Summerslam but not for the reasons people thing. HHH will do it because he needs money for the lawsuit. Also, it’s his exit strategy for his career, because after this HHH will never be able to wrestle again. After Summerslam, he can be the executive that everyone says went down in a blaze of glory.

Kane vs. Big Show later on in a No DQ match. Heaven help me.

Vickie Guerrero/Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus/AJ

This looks odd on paper but when you think about it all of the connections are there. The guys start us off after Sheamus puts AJ on the apron. Dolph dropkicks him down but gets launched into the air soon thereafter. A running ax handle gets two for the champ but Dolph takes him down into a chinlock. Sheamus breaks that up and hits White Noise. He loads up the Brogue Kick but Dolph tags Vickie before it can hit. Sheamus kicks his head off to send him to the floor and AJ comes in. Shining Wizard kills Vickie at 3:27.

Rating: C-. This was VERY short but DANG that Shining Wizard was awesome. AJ continues to be insane but it looks like we’re heading up to the payoff at MITB which is the right play. This was barely long enough to grade and I’m not sure what the point was in basically destroying Ziggler like that. Still though, that Shining Wizard was awesome.

AJ does the YES chant and heads to the back. She finds Punk who is on the phone with his sister. He missed the match and AJ is crushed.

We get a video of Slater’s destruction at the hands of old people, leading to this.

Heath Slater vs. Doink The Clown

This is basically a squash with Slater hitting his spinning sleeper mat slam (didn’t that have a name?) for the pin at 1:20.

Post match, here’s DDP to a BIG reaction and a Diamond Cutter.

Video on John Cena and Alicia Fox visiting sick/injured troops.

Kane vs. Big Show

This is No DQ. Show controls to start and sends Kane to the floor. He pulls Kane up from the floor BY HIS HEAD, onlyt o knocks Kane back to the floor again. Show misses a charge into the barricade but he throws Kane into the steps to take over. They fight over a chokeslam onto the announce table but Show superkicks him down instead. Show brings a chair in but walks into a DDT for two. The top rope clothesline misses but Kane grabs the chair. Show spears him down and chokeslams Kane onto the chair for the pin at 3:44.

Rating: D+. This was probably the best possible idea for them: keep things short. This wasn’t horrible but I’m not sure what the point of the stipulation was. It came out of nowhere, but to be fair it probably made the match as watchable as it was. These two have never had good chemistry together so keeping it short was probably their best option.

Teddy runs into Eve in the back and she sucks up to him. Teddy gives her a nametag in a funny bit. She rips it up and runs into AJ, telling her to leave the mind games to the big girls and telling AJ to go sit in the corner and cry. AJ wants to know who Eve is going to brown nose next. Eve will do anything to get attention, so AJ says she’ll show everyone how to do just that.

DX invading WCW was a big deal as well. This one actually was.

Tyson Kidd vs. Tensai

Tensai takes him into the corner and fires off the headbutts but misses a charge. Kidd rolls him up……AND GETS THE PIN AT 20 SECONDS???? WOW.

Tensai beats up Sakamoto post match.

Jericho and Bryan debate jackets and a catchphrase duel breaks out. YES vs. EVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVER is hilarious.

Punk tells Cena to follow his lead out there.

Tensai destroys Kidd in the locker room.

Chris Jericho/Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk/John Cena

Punk and Bryan start things off. They speed things up of course and Punk takes control. He sends Bryan into the corner and it’s a double tag. Cena dominates Jericho as he is known to do, knocking him off the apron as we take a break. Back with Jericho getting two on Cena and taunting him for not being able to tag Punk. The Lionsault misses but Bryan breaks up the tag again.

The corner dropkick gets two for Bryan and it’s off to Jericho again. The dueling chants begin but Jericho blocks the fisherman’s suplex. The AA is countered into a DDT but Cena fires Jericho into the corner to put both guys down. There’s the diving tag to Punk, who comes in with a springboard clothesline to take over on the fresh Bryan. Powerslam gets two and Bryan gets put in the Vice. Jericho FINALLY makes a save but Cena fights him up the aisle and into the back.

Punk and Bryan are the legal guys left, as well as the only two still in the ring. Bryan moonsaults out of the corner but gets caught in a sunset flip for two. Bryan starts firing off the kicks and a big one to the head gets two. Bryan goes up but gets superplexed down for another two. And here’s AJ to skip around the ring. No one looks at her so she gets on the apron as Bryan fires off kicks to Punk.

No one looks at her still so she gets down as the guys hit cross bodies at the same time. AJ goes under the ring and pulls out….a table? She sets it up at ringside and very slowly climbs the steps. AJ goes up top but Bryan gets in front of the table. Punk gets up on the ropes to stop her as well, so she kisses him. Then she shoves him through Bryan through the table and starts a YES chant. The match ends at we’ll say 17:30.

Rating: B. The match was great and while the ending was confusing, it’s certainly intriguing. This certainly keeps things interesting as she still hasn’t picked anyone. She’s the most interesting character in the company right now by far, because in short you don’t know what she (AJ for you idiots out there) is going to do next. Good ending to a good match.

Overall Rating: C. The first hour was similar to having a blind monk with Parkinson’s Disease brand me with an iron while Chinese torture masters ripped out my fingernails. The second hour was better, to the point where I was really getting into things before the show ended. Kidd pulling off that upset was the perfect move as it gives him even more momentum going into the PPV. In short, very good second hour, pretty bad first hour.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

King of the Ring 2002
Date: June 23, 2002
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Attendance: 14,200
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

Austin is gone. That’s your big story number one. He was ticked off at management so he just walked out on the company. This is the story they mean when they say he took his ball and went home. Due to him leaving, and I believe I was at his last match before he left, Rock made a surprise return and said that he would be at the PPV to fill in for Austin. The reason Austin left was he didn’t like creative, namely that he was jobbing to Brock Lesnar on Raw in a KOTR qualifying match.

That brings us to story number 2: Brock Lesnar. He’s in the final four and is about as much of a given winner as you can possibly imagine. Hogan is still here too, fighting Angle tonight. The main event is HHH vs. Taker for the title, which is going to suck, plain and simple. Let’s get to it.

The final PPV brackets:

Brock Lesnar
Test

Jericho
Rob Van Dam

Oh also, this is the first PPV under the WWE name as the change came just a few weeks prior to it.

We start with a recap of all the great wrestlers to win the tournament but we leave out all of the terrible ones, such as Mabel and Gunn. It has been a pretty good way to determine a good star over the years. For this year the winner gets the title match at Summerslam. Oh and we’ve had the brand split so it’s two shows now.

Oh one last thing: four days before this some company called TNA debuted. Yeah they’re nothing.

King of the Ring Semi–Finals: Chris Jericho vs. Rob Van Dam

Jericho beat Edge and Val Venis (called Big Valbowski at the time) while Van Dam beat Eddie Guerrero and X-Pac who somehow has a job at this point which amazes me. Van Dam is IC Champion here because that’s what he does. Dang  Jericho went from main eventing Wrestlemania to opening King of the Ring. That’s quite a fall. The fans are WAY behind RVD, and I think Jericho is still heel here. Yeah he is.

Ross thinks they’re evenly matches in size. Good to know his eyes are working well enough that he can tell they look the same. There’s an ECW chant as this match is about as good as you would expect it to be. This is another one of those that’s just hard to mess up. There are three guys in the front row all in Superman shirts. Jericho just doesn’t seem like he can do anything as a heel. He’s just not good in the ring as one, but I think that’s because of his finishing move.

It just doesn’t work for him as he needs something other than a sibmission. Hardly any heel wins with submissions and he’s no exception. I really hate that move where you just pull back on the other guy’s arms. It just looks like crap. I’ve always loved that springboard kick that Van Dam hits. Van Dam hits the exposed turnbuckle for two and the Lionsasult misses. The Five Star misses and the Lionsault again gets two.

Jericho gets the walls but it’s right in the corner and that breaks it up. Both are up top but Van Dam gets a kick to the head for the Five Star to end it. Van Dam being spent on the mat but still doing the finger point when his name is announced is just classic stuff. Lawler jumps in the ring to ask Van Dam who he prefers and RVD says he doesn’t care if it’s Test, Lesnar or Godzilla. Jericho jumps him and puts him in the Walls.

Rating: B. This was a great choice for an opener as it’s fifteen minutes of two guys that know how to get a crowd into a match. They did just that here and it worked like a charm. RVD winning clean is a big deal too as it gives him a solid push to the finals before he gets slaughtered. This was a good back and forth match and it worked very well though.

Heyman gets Lesnar fired up by saying apparently that he’s Godzilla. Lesnar was freaking scary. Those nipples are hard as too.

King of the Ring Semi–Finals: Test vs. Brock Lesnar

Hmm, I wonder what’s going to happen here. Apparently insiders are picking Test. That just makes me laugh. Heyman is freaking perfect for this job as he makes you want to hate Lesnar but he was just so awesome that he eventually got cheered anyway. The fans chant for Goldberg who wouldn’t be around for about 9-10 months. I think Test is a face here but no one cares at all.

They missed so badly on him that the only time to jump on him was nearly 3 years ago but it never happened. I’m not saying he should have carried the company but a week or two with the belt would have been ok. If nothing else it gives him instant credibility. This just doesn’t seem like a good idea as they’re both power guys but they both have muscles so Vince knows it’s a good idea right? Oh yeah Test beat Hurricane and Hardcore Holly while Brock beat Bubba and Booker T.

Basically Test keeps taking bit moves but kicking out while he never gets any long offense in. He hits a sidewalk slam but this is a glorified squash. They do let Test get offense in actually. Ok they let him get in all three of his big moves with the full nelson slam, the pumphandle slam and the big boot and Lesnar pops up from all of them. Then they decidet to let Heyman hit Test, because we can’t have Lesnar go over a muscle guy clean. Way to make Lesnar look dominant there. There F5 ends him.

Rating: C-. This was being as generous as I could be. The second half was just finisher, kick out, finisher, kick out, finisher, kick out etc. Lesnar was about as obvious as you could be to win the whole thing so this was just a waste of our time. The Heyman interference was annoying too though so whatever.

Coach goes to the Raw locker room to ask who they think will win. Bubba picks Lesnar and says he’ll get a shot eventually. Yes, they actually were pushing Bubba as a midcard guy. They had no idea what they were doing around this time.

Greg Lloyd asks Christian and Lance who is going to win. Lance is annoyed that it’s two Americans and no Canadians. This was the UnAmerican angle that was brilliant but went nowhere.

Hey Cole and Tazz are here, getting their first mention or face time 40 minutes into the show. They recap Jamie Noble vs. Hurricane which is because of Nidia. It was completely freaking stupid. My goodness Nidia was worthless.

Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble vs. Hurricane

This was either Noble’s first match or at least his first feud. Oh ok this is his second. Seriously, the recap is still going. It’s getting more time than the opening video. Oh and the heels unmasked him which Burchill is still trying to do. IT’S STILL GOING! I have absolutely no interest in this match at all. Hurricane was running around chokeslamming people. Nidia thinks she means something. That’s just amusing.

There’s a “she’s a crack w****” chant going as we flash back to ECW. She tries to trip Hurricane and misses. You grab the big white thing. It’s how you got a job more than likely as it certainly isn’t for your looks and talent. Oh Tuesday is the Divas Undressed thing. It was a lingire thing that went nowhere. There were some ok looks but that’s about it. As you can tell, I’m not talking much about the match.

This division and title were just jokes and it’s good that the title isn’t coming back. Let it go people. Oh dear we begin the sex jokes about Hurricane and why Nidia dumped him. I hate those. Oh blast it they’re using sleepers. I can barely stand the thought of this match already and they’re just boring me to death. This division was just a freaking waste. Wait a minute. This is a Smackdown match. WHY ARE LAWLER AND ROSS CALLING IT???

We have acknowledged that Tazz and Cole, the SMACKDOWN ANNOUNCERS are in the building, but instead we get Ross and Lawler who have nothing to do with these guys or their show talking about the match. What in the world is wrong with this? Hurricane and Nidia fight over his cape. Hurricane suplexes Noble over the ropes and he lands on his leg. Dang it he’s getting up so we have to keep going.

The main problem here is Nidia.  She’s so ridiculously annoying and won’t shut up.  Hurricane hits a swinging neckbreaker from the top rope. This match just needs to end. It’s all highspots and Nidia and only one of those things are interesting. Noble kicks out of the chokeslam which stuns the crowd. For some reason they’re into this. Hurricane crotches himself on the top and Noble powerbombs him for the title while Nidia shoves his foot off the ropes. They make out way too much after the match.

Rating: D-. And it passes for the highspots. This was just freaking pointless and of course they gave it 10 minutes. See, in WCW, this was successful because there WERE NO STORIES. It was all highspots and no stupid ugly women screaming all the time. Learn from that Vince.

We see Rock arriving earlier in the night. He would be given the title in a month for the sole reason of putting Brock over at Summerslam. That was probably Austin’s title but he blew that so Rock does it.

We recap Flair vs. Guerrero, which is because Flair wanted “one more run” and Guerrero and Benoit blamed him for Austin leaving. This right here is what I can’t stand about Flair. He might be able to work, but I’d bet anything that he goes over the younger and better (at the time) Eddie. Guerrero goes over his whole family which is like 35 people in something I just don’t get. Eddie runs down Flair and speaks a lot of Spanish.

Ric Flair vs. Eddie Guerrero

I get that everyone loves Flair, but we’re coming off of Hogan being WWE Champion. He has a match later tonight meaning that two guys in their 50s are getting PPV time. I get that they’re legends, but they should be here for one thing: putting people over. And nothing more. If that interview was live, he set a world record for fastest taping of his hands in history. Please let this get done fast.

Eddie imitates Flair which is so original that only about a dozen people have done it this year. Oh apparently this is supposed to be Eddie vs. Austin but we get Flair instead. Two weeks before this I saw that match at a house show and it was ok at best but Austin was still decent. Even still, you couldn’t have him fight Benoit or someone like that? Flair does all of his regular stuff and while it gets a pop, I just can’t get into it at all.

Granted this is my fourth review in two days so that likely has something to do with it. Flair asks for a time check and low blows Guerrero. That leads to, you guessed it, more chops. Flair is orange. That’s just disturbing. Guerrero works on the knee in a little twist on things. Figure four by Eddie but it’s on the wrong leg which to be fair Flair always did too. After a minute or so of trying to power out of it he just reaches up and grabs the middle rope without even having to straighten out his arm.

And now Eddie gives up on the legs and works on general offense. Well so much for psychology. And now we’re back on the floor. This is just meandering along at the slowest pace possible. When the announcers are calling out your lack of psychology you know it’s bad. Frog splash misses as this match needs to just end in a bad way. Flair goes to the knee and here’s Benoit. Flair bossing the referee around here is amusing for some reason.

And now we have some intelligence as Flair has the hold broken but he goes back to the legs. They try a pinfall reversal sequence and it just fails due to age and lack of ability anymore. Benoit puts the Crossface on Flair on the floor and Flair taps like an idiot. Benoit gets thrown out and while he does that, Bubba freaking Ray Dudley hits the Bubba Bomb on Eddie. Flair rolls in while Benoit chases Bubba and gets the pin. I knew it. I FREAKING KNEW IT.

Why in the world does Flair need to win this match? Can someone explain that to me at all? What does Flair gain here? He’s an old man that’s so far past his prime it’s pathetic, so let’s put him over a young and talented guy. God bless Vince.

Rating: D+. This was just SO boring. It goes on for 17 minutes and we get Bubba and Benoit deciding the ending. Seriously, we couldn’t have had Benoit vs. Eddie? They ahd to redo the story anyway so have one support Austin and one hate him. How hard is that? Apparently far too hard because we have Flair win the match. I really want to slap this PPV in the face.

Get the F Out Ad.

Regal and Chris Nowitski (Harvard guy) are at The World (WWF New York) and are complaining that their food isn’t here yet. The waitress says she’s still in school and Chris makes fun of her for going to a community college. Had he not gotten hurt, he could have ridden that gimmick for years. I remember X arguing with someone who said they went to some college. X just busts out that he went to Brown. Argument ended. Chris can do that too and it just ends things.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Molly Holly

It’s the pointless match of the month. Trish has just broken through the ceiling here and has some talent now while Molly is being the virgin and perfect character. Oh and apparently Molly is overweight. Molly is a good worker so this should be ok I guess. And it won’t matter anyway as the fans chant about puppies. And there you have the problem with this division. It’s still like that today and it always will be.

Ok, they’re working hard here, but King keeps talking about puppies and in two days they’re having the Undressed show. See what I mean? No matter how good the wrestling is it’s not going to mean a freaking thing and that’s pathetic. You can tell Ross is fed up with Lawler’s stupid lines and jokes. Molly misses her top rope flip but rolls up Trish and uses the tights for the win.

Rating: C+. The wrestling was very good here actually, but the commentary just sucked. It was all fat jokes. Seriously, grow up Lawler. You need to. Not as bad as Vince does though.

Angle, now bald but with a wig on, is with that Lloyd guy. Angle asks an interesting question: what did Hogan ever do to become a real American hero? Apparently he only is because Vince says so. This is some awesomely interesting stuff. I guess beating Nikolai Volkoff counts. Angle just rips Hogan to shreds here. I love how there were so many lines about him that were off limits but now that he’s fallen from grace everything comes out.

HOLY CRAP THE SMACKDOWN GUYS ARE TALKING!!! The recap starts with a recap of Hogan wanting to retire and “bow out gracefully”. That just amuses me. Vince says he can’t because he won’t let him. Hogan says he changed his mind so he can Vince, which led to Angle running in. Again, Hogan is another guy that just needs to retire, but he has TNA to ruin.

Kurt Angle vs. Hulk Hogan

This show just kind of sucks and I have a freaking hour to go in it. We fight over technical stuff to start. What I mean by that is Angle does and Hogan just does power stuff. Hogan keeps taking control despite not actually doing anything. Hogan goes for the hair piece and gets a shot in the red and yellow balls. I guess there’s one of each.

Ross says Hogan is as American as apple pie. That’s true. He’s overrated, strange looking, he’s stayed too long, he doesn’t do anything, he gets on people’s nerves, he lies, he cheats, he steals, he cheats on his wife and he tries to be too young. He’s a REAL AMERICAN! Hogan, apparently tired after the work from throwing punches and putting his hand to his ear, is put into a chinlock. Hogan HULKS UP and hits the big boot but instead of the legdrop he pulls the wig off.

After Angle runs, Hogan goes for the legdrop but Angle catches it into the ankle lock. Hogan actually taps and the fans are stunned. That helps the match about a full letter. Ross tries to save Hogan by saying that he held on as long as humanly possible, which is apparently about 15 seconds. Ross can’t remember Hogan ever tapping. That’s just amusing.

Rating: C-. Angle carried this thing completely. Hogan is just a waste here, but to his credit, he tapped. Had he not, this would have ended any chance this show has. Him tapping was right though and it made Angle look much stronger. Sweetness there.

We go to the back with Booker, wearing a WWE Crew shirt for no apparent reason, and Goldust who is dressed like Rock. You all know what’s coming, and there he is. Rock, whose arm is freaking MASSIVE, says that he’s here for the title match, and wonders what in the world is wrong with Goldust.

Goldie keeps touching himself and mentions something about ammunition in his canon. Rock FREAKS on him and asks what the point of Goldie is. This goes on for about 5 minutes and is hilarious. Rock is maybe the best promo man ever and definitely the best ever at comedy.

King of the Ring Finals: Rob Van Dam vs. Brock Lesnar

Ok, does ANYONE here think RVD can win? If you do, you’re a freaking idiot. Van Dam uses his kicks to start and goes for the legs which makes sense I guess. And there we are as Lesnar just beats the tar out of him. We go through the standard beating that you would expect as they’re keeping things simple here. Why do otherwise I guess? Lesnar hits all of his big power stuff and it works quite well.

He hits the bearhug but Van Dam gets out, making him better than Hogan I guess. RVD makes his comeback and actually hits the Five Star, but Heyman interferes and snaps his neck over the ropes. The problem is that RVD lands on Lesnar for the cover and it gets a long two. See, that’s smart and clever as they make Lesnar look strong by having him kick out, especially when Van Dam rarely covers right after the move anyway.

That’s well thought out and it maks Lesnar look good. Van Dam goes up but gets caught in an F5 which looked great for the pin to give Brock the crown in a 6 minute match. Can we please have a long one? Would it kill you?

Rating: C+. They kept Brock protected here and it worked fine. He’s kind of like Sheamus but not really. They’re not letting him be in there too long at a time and it’s letting him look awesome without being able to pick out his mistakes and flaws that really are pretty obvious. This was fine for what it was as Brock is more or less catapulted into the main event picture off of one win.

HHH runs into Shawn and Nash. Everyone is fine, even though we’re two months from HHH trying to kill Shawn. Oh it’s the NWO. I forgot about that. It was Nash, HBK, X-Pac and Show. Thankfully Bischoff came in and destroyed it. Apparently HHH has a long history with the NWO. They offer their help if needed.

We recap HHH vs. Taker which more or less is Hogan beat HHH and Taker beat Hogan. Taker is all about respect here and thinks HHH doesn’t respect him. Somehow this takes four minutes to recap.

WWE Title: HHH vs. Undertaker

They punch each other. A lot. This is all basic stuff and nothing of note happening here. We spice things up with a backdrop. This goes on for TEN FREAKING MINUTES. Taker was just dreadful around this time and HHH did nothing at all. I’m twelve minutes into this and I have nothing at all to say. There’s just nothing going on. You know that the match isn’t ending this early.

Oh Heyman came out about 5 minutes ago and is doing commentary and saying Rock left rather than face Brock. Why would he have to face him at all? They foreshadow Summerslam by saying Rock is certainly a match for Brock. This is like a WCW main event from the late 90s: all punching and walking. And yep we continue the WCW style with a ref bump. And that brings out Rock, complete with entrance music.

He runs off Heyman and you would think that when he puts on a headset that it means he would talk. Nope, that would make sense. We go to the floor with the referee still down and Taker kicks Rock in the face. They’re right in front of him, and Rock is looking at the monitor. Dude, you can see Taker looking at you and raising his foot. FREAKING DUCK! Wrestlers have never been accused of being brilliant I guess.

Of course this prompts Rock to beat the tar out of Taker but a chair shot meant for the man that isn’t alive hits HHH by mistake. A new referee comes down after a Last Ride and Taker just punches him. Taker gets a Rock Bottom but there’s no referee again. A Pedigree puts Taker down and HHH is bleeding from…something we didn’t see.

There’s no referee though and while HHH is trying to wake him up, Taker hits a low blow and rolls him up using the tights and TEN SECONDS LATER he gets the three. At least it’s over I guess. Rock was standing in the entrance to the arena for about the last three minutes of that. He hits the ring and beats up Taker and we get the elbow. HHH pedigrees Rock to end the show…never mind there’s another chokeslam so the old guy stands tall to end it.

Rating: D-. Oy this was bad. No one cared and it was just boring. Also, you would think this would lead up to these three at Vengeance, but Angle went in HHH’s place due to the complaints about how boring the original triple threat would be. That’s saying a lot. I have no idea who decided these two should have nearly half an hour but they should be made to watch this match. I mean it was BAD. They screwed up a rollup. Let that sink in for a bit.

Overall Rating: D. Aye aye aye what a show. There was just nothing appealing here whatsoever. I mean it just got worse and worse at it went on. Nothing stands out here as appealing or interesting to me. Brock winning obviously means a lot and Hogan losing is fun, but other than that there’s just nothing of note here. The show sucked and it sucked badly. At least it’s over though. In case you can’t tell, stay away from this.

I hope you guys enjoyed these reviews more than I did, as I was bored out of my mind most of the time. King of the Ring was just not a good concept for PPV. It helped a lot of people get big later on, but the shows themselves just flat out sucked more often than not. The three match per show formula worked far better, but it didn’t always mean a good show, like here. I hated this last one and three of the last four were just brutal.

It was usually more miss than hit, but shows like 01 and 98 were great ones. Tournaments just aren’t good for PPV and this is all the proof you need I would think. This is likely my last marathon as I’ll be shifting towards one review at a time as I find it FAR easier to do that way. Anyway, hope you liked it and keep reading or die. Seriously, those are your only options. If you don’t read my reviews, you will instantly die. I have no idea how, but you will. It’s the law.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

Smackdown
Date: June 21, 2013
Location: Nutter Center, Dayton, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re past Payback now and the main story is the double turn by Ziggler and new world champion Alberto Del Rio. That’s the best outcome as Del Rio was only working to an extent as a face while Ziggler was getting over more and more as a good guy. Other than that we have Bryan vs. Orton tonight in a continuation/rematch from their stopped match on Raw. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the results from Payback. That’s one thing I liked about WCW: other than the main events, they made sure to not tell you who won a lot of the matches until the replays were off PPV. Now you have clips of the endings to most of the matches, leaving no reason to buy the replay.

Here’s Daniel Bryan to open the show. Until Monday, he had never had a match stopped due to injury in his entire career. The doctor asked if he could continue and he said YES, but the company line was that they were worried for his health. Realistically though, they stopped the match because they think he’s the weak link and not tough enough.

The worst person in all of this was Randy Orton and we get a clip of Orton helping Bryan up after the match. Bryan says that if Orton thought he was the strong link, he would have begged for the match to keep going. The match should have kept going, but Bryan’s YES chant is cut off by Randy Orton.

Orton comes to the ring shaking his head and mouthing the words “you’re wrong.” Randy says the match was stopped for Bryan’s well being, not because anyone thought he was weak. Bryan kept coming during the match and that made Orton respect him even more. When Orton helped him up, it was out of respect, not pity. Bryan yells that Orton is patronizing him after giving Bryan respect for beating Shield last week. Orton says fine, if Bryan wants a rematch he can have one tonight. This time though, Bryan will be carried out.

Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes

Cody drew the long straw to get this match tonight. Sheamus gets two off a quick suplex but Cody elbows out of the fireman’s carry roll. Cody goes to the middle rope but gets snapmared down before rolling to the floor. Rhodes sends Sheamus into the barricade before stomping away back inside. A running knee to the head gets two for Cody and it’s off to an armbar.

Sheamus fights up but misses a charge into the corner, giving Rhodes two off a rollup. The slingshot shoulder is countered into a Fujiwara Armbar but Cody just lets it go. Sheamus shrugs all of the offense off and hits a sledge to the Cody’s face. The fireman’s carry slam looks to set up White Noise but Cody rolls out, only to be pulled into the Cloverleaf for the tap out at 5:37.

Rating: D. This was bad even by this pair’s standards. The total lack of selling of the arm by Sheamus was surprising as Cody worked on it for a few minutes before Sheamus just fought back like it was nothing. The main problem here though is the same we’ve seen with every one on one match between the Scholars and Sheamus: the winner is never in doubt.

Sandow jumps Sheamus post match.

Wyatt Family promo.

Intercontinental Title: Curtis Axel vs. Wade Barrett

The title looks good on Axel. Miz is on commentary for this rare heel vs. heel match. Axel grabs a headlock to start but Wade forearms him down for two. Curtis comes back with a good looking dropkick to take over and drops some elbows to the chest for two. Wade grabs a quick suplex for two of his own as the announcers debate if Barrett should have gotten his rematch on Monday. Barrett hits his big boot to send Axel out to the floor and another big boot hits for two back inside. Axel avoids a middle rope elbow and hits a Hennig necksnap followed by the McGillicutter to retain at 4:40.

Rating: D+. This was an 80s punch/kick for the first few minutes until Barrett turned things up a bit at the end. Axel pinning Wade clean is an important step for him as now he’s pinned the former champion without any help at all. It would appear that Miz is next but hopefully there’s more to the title after that match.

Post match Miz gets in the ring to stare down Axel but Heyman gets the champion out of the way.

Video on Mark Henry’s fake retirement and attack on Cena from Raw.

AJ Lee vs. Natalya

Non-title. Natalya immediately takes AJ down but can’t hook the Sharpshooter. Instead she puts on a strange looking leglock where Natalya’s knees are between AJ’s knees and stretching them apart with both girls on their backs. AJ makes the rope and puts on a quick sleeper…..as we take a break? In this match? Back with Natalya getting two off a snap suplex and a clothesline. Natalya shouts that AJ has no respect but AJ counters a slam into the Black Widow for the pin at 2:20 shown of 4:50.

Layla and Kaitlyn are watching in the back when Aksana comes up and calls Katilyn trash. Kaitlyn snaps and beats Aksana up before pouring trash on her.

Chris Jericho vs. Alberto Del Rio

Non-title again. Jericho takes him into the corner to start and chokes Del Rio on the middle rope before getting two off a knee to the back. Del Rio gets a boot up in the corner to drop Jericho but misses a running kick and falls out to the floor. Jericho hits the springboard dropkick to drop Alberto again. A Ricardo distraction lets the champion get in a cheap shot to take over as we take a break.

Back with Del Rio sending Chris back to the floor and whipping him into the barricade. They head back inside and Alberto misses a charge into the post to shift momentum again. The top rope ax handle looks to set up the Walls but Alberto spins out and kicks Jericho in the head for two. The corner enziguri misses though and Jericho hits the running bulldog and Lionsault. Jericho loads up the Walls but Del Rio counters into the cross armbreaker which is countered into the Walls but Chris has to go after Ricardo. Jericho puts Rodriguez in the Liontamer but Ziggler runs in for the DQ at 5:34 shown of 8:04.

Rating: C+. The sequence right before the ending was good but I’m not wild on the ending. It wouldn’t hurt Jericho to lose here and make Del Rio look good, even if it was by cheating. The Ziggler vs. Del Rio feud is getting good in a hurry and the match should be a solid blowoff. This was fine for a TV match though and could have been better with more time.

Del Rio runs off and Jericho gives Ziggler a Codebreaker post match. Jericho leaves and the champion comes back to pick the bones with a hard kick to Ziggler’s head. The audience sounded like they were looking at a heel turn by Jericho but I don’t think it was meant to be one.

Drew McIntyre vs. Christian

Christian sends him to the floor and hits a baseball slide to take Drew down. Back in and Christian tags him with an uppercut but dives into a spinning sitout Rock Bottom from McIntyre for two. Not that it matters much as Christian takes out the other Band members and hits the Killswitch for the pin at 1:50.

Post match Christian says it feels great to be back here for one more match. Cue Shield to lay Christian out with the TripleBomb.

Video on Brock Lesnar.

We recap the events of Raw with Punk splitting with Heyman and fighting Del Rio in the main event. Alberto walked out on the match and was jumped by Ziggler, only to have Lesnar come out and attack Punk.

Heyman doesn’t want to talk about the Punk issues so he turns the interview around on Renee Young, asking her a lot of personal questions about topics like her father and her ex-fiance. Heyman suggests that next time, she should talk about Curtis Axel.

Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan charges right at Orton and they slug it out in the corner. Orton throws him to the mat and stomps away but Bryan gets up and fires right hands. It’s rare for Bryan to throw punches and they’re better than I expected. Randy knocks him right back down but misses a knee drop to the face. Bryan kicks away and hooks a leg lock, only to have Orton counter into a headlock. Orton blocks the NO Lock and hits a backbreaker to finally give them a breather. The first few minutes of the match were continuous punching and holds.

Orton drapes Bryan ribs first onto the top rope and suplexes him over the top and out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Bryan fighting out of a superplex and dropping Orton with a missile dropkick. Daniel fires off the kicks in the corner and hits a running dropkick for two. Bryan moonsaults over Orton out of the corner but walks into the snap powerslam for two. Orton gets caught in a backslide for two and Bryan fires off the kicks to the chest and head for a two count.

Bryan goes up again but gets crotched and superplexed down for a very close two. The Elevated DDT connects but Bryan rolls to the floor to avoid the RKO. Orton drops Bryan back first onto the barricade but Bryan shoves him into the barricade. The flying knee off the apron sets up the FLYING GOAT and Bryan beats the count back in at 10:36 shown of 13:06.

Rating: B-. This was a nice back and forth match and they did a good job of making Bryan look strong after last week’s big win over the Shield.  The idea of Bryan being able to get back in at the alst second kept both guys look strong which is a good idea for Orton going forward.

Bryan wants the match restarted but Orton just stares at him as the show ends.

Overall Rating: B-. This was another good show as we had some solid action and nothing bad on the entire show save for a dull Sheamus vs. Rhodes match. Bryan continues to be so over it’s unreal and the Ziggler face push is coming quickly. The WWE is starting to get on a roll which is a good sign after a very dull spring.

Results

Sheamus b. Cody Rhodes – Cloverleaf

Curtis Axel b. Wade Barrett – McGillicutter

AJ Lee b. Natalya – Black Widow

Alberto Del Rio b. Chris Jericho via DQ when Dolph Ziggler interefered

Christian b. Drew McIntyre – Killswitch

Daniel Bryan b. Randy Orton via countout

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 17, 2013
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids Arena
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re past Payback now and moving towards July’s Money in the Bank. Cena has retained his title but we had a very interesting development: the ultra rare double turn for Del Rio and Ziggler as Alberto won the World Heavyweight Championship by doing some very bad things to Ziggler’s injured head. It should be interesting to see where things go over the summer. Let’s get to it.

We open with the usual package of still photos from Payback last night, complete with the voiceover dude.

Here’s Del Rio to open things up. He asks us how his weekend was before telling us that his was excellent. Del Rio isn’t pleased that the fans were cheering for Ziggler after he won the title back last night in controversial fashion. The fans chant for Ziggler again and Del Rio yells at them for chanting USA the night before.

He says this is what America is all about: pigs and cowards. Del Rio says he’s spent the last five months fighting for us and he’s gotten nothing (other than the world title) but last night he fought for himself and won the world title. He’s willing to give the people a second chance though so we have another chance to show him the respect that he deserves.

Cue Punk to an ERUPTION. He says it’s been awhile since he beat Del Rio for the world title at Survivor Series 2011. Punk doesn’t like hearing Del Rio call himself the best so Alberto holds up the belt. Punk challenges him to a title match but Heyman says that Punk doesn’t fight for free. That’s not cool with Punk though because he wants to fight no matter what.

Yeah Punk is banged up but when Del Rio was stealing the title, Punk was stealing the show. Punk still wants a match tonight but Del Rio says Punk doesn’t want any of him. With that not being an option, Punk offers to fight Ricardo but here are Vickie and Maddox for an interruption. She says it’s Del Rio vs. Punk tonight but makes no mention of the title being on the line.

Punk says that he respects Paul Heyman but he isn’t a client. From now on, Punk doesn’t want Heyman out there for his matches. Punk respects him but he doesn’t want him there.

Intercontinental Title: Curtis Axel vs. Wade Barrett

Before Axel’s entrance, Vickie interferes and makes it Barrett vs…….CHRISTIAN!

Wade Barrett vs. Christian

Christian takes it to the floor to start and hits a BIG dive to take out Barrett. Back in and Barrett hooks a chinlock, only to have Christian fight up and hit a tornado DDT for two. Wade kicks him in the ribs for two but Christian avoids a charge in the corner. The Killswitch ends Barrett in 3:10.

Rating: C-. That’s a nice return for Christian but the guy isn’t going to be a huge star like people think he’s going to be. Barrett’s slide continues and I’m thinking his time of mattering in WWE whatsoever is almost done. There’s just nothing here for him as he hasn’t done anything of note in forever.

You can pick No DQ, 2/3 falls or no countout for Bryan vs. Orton later on.

The Wyatt Family is coming.

Sheamus vs. Rhodes Scholars

For those of you not happy with Sheamus beating one of them at once, now he gets to beat both of them AT THE SAME TIME! The Scholars don’t have to tag so they manage to stomp Sheamus down and hit a double snap suplex for two. A kick to the face sets up the Wind-Up Elbow for two on Sheamus. Cody slaps Sheamus in the face and the one on two beatdown begins. Rhodes is sent to the floor and Sheamus hits the Regal Roll on Sandow. The ten forearms crush Cody and White Noise crushes the crushed remains of Cody Rhodes even further. Sheamus loads up the Brogue Kick but gets rolled up by Sandow for the pin at 3:38.

Rating: D-. I love Sheamus but DEAR GOD LET THIS FREAKING FEUD END ALREADY. Scratch that. This isn’t a feud. This is Sheamus swatting away flies for an extended period of time. It’s not fun, it’s not interesting, and the matches aren’t any good. Is there NOTHING else that Sheamus could be doing at all? NOTHING?

Mark Henry might retire later tonight.

RVD is back at MITB.

HHH is in the back with Vickie and Brad. Vickie sucks up to him but HHH wants to know what the main event was going to be if Punk didn’t question him. He also wants to know why Christian has been medically cleared for a month and a half and not been back until tonight. Also, why didn’t he hear about either Brad or Vickie when he was negotiating for RVD’s return? As for Shield, if they get involved then play tough with them. HHH thinks it’s a stroke of genius to put 3MB on the show tonight as well. HHH’s questions were HILARIOUS.

Yeah I just said that. Why do you ask?

Bryan doesn’t want to hear it from Kane that he told Bryan so. Kane thinks HELL NO should reunite but Bryan only wants to think about Team DB, Team Daniel Bryan. Kane: “Well that’s good because you’re acting like a D.B.” They both say they want to win the WWE Championship and they don’t know if the team is done or not. Kane wishes him good luck tonight, which Bryan interprets as Kane saying he’s the weak link.

Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Before the match we hear Orton saying that Bryan is the weak link in the team and is the reason they lost the title match last night. The match is going to be No DQ with 54% of the vote. Bryan goes after the arm to start but Orton reverses into a hammerlock of his own. Daniel fights up and kicks away at the legs before hitting the double knee stomp out of the surfboard. Orton comes back to stomp Bryan down into the corner and puts Daniel down off the slingshot suplex.

Bryan counters the Thesz Press into a half crab but Orton grabs the ropes. More kicks in the corner put Orton down again but he comes back with a clothesline and a chinlock. Back up and Orton pounds away in the corner but Bryan comes back with the moonsault out of the corner and a running clothesline. A pair of running dropkicks in the corner get two for Daniel but Orton avoids the FLYING GOAT. Orton pulls out a kendo stick to pound on Bryan for two back in the ring and we take a break.

Back with Bryan blocking a superplex and hitting the missile dropkick for no cover. Orton comes back with the powerslam and Bryan goes to the apron for the Elevated DDT, only to have Bryan fight out and go for the NO Lock. Orton counters into a slingshot to send Bryan to the apron and a kick to the ribs puts him on the floor. It appeared to be a low blow so here’s a trainer to check on Bryan. Back in and Bryan pounds away before they head to the floor again. Orton belly to back suplexes Daniel onto the barricade so the referee checks again…..and the match at 15:00.

Rating: C+. Uh…..WHAT? That’s either the start of an angle or a legit injury when Bryan went into the barricade earlier. Bryan seemed fine but if a doctor saw something in him that we didn’t then the match should have been stopped. Either way, it was getting good until the sudden ending but never hit a high level.

Post match Orton helps Bryan up and nothing else happens, making me think it was a legit stoppage.

Here’s AJ to brag about winning the Divas Title by crushing Kaitlyn’s spirit. AJ says that she’s the hero of the story because she’s a woman that knows how to get what she wants. There isn’t a woman in the audience or locker room who is as strong, brilliant or courageous as she is. AJ issues an open challenge to the locker room and gets…….STEPHANIE MCMAHON???

Stephanie compliments AJ on her victory but thinks what AJ was saying was degrading to women. It’s time for AJ to start acting like a champion, about 23 hours since she won the title. AJ: “Instead of acting like a superstar, maybe I should marry one.” Stephanie says no one does crazy like the McMahons but AJ says she’s the younger version of Stephanie, just without a fancy pantsuit. Cue an army of Divas but Stephanie cuts off Kaitlyn, threatening her with punishment for ever interrupting her again. The fans tell Kaitlyn that she tapped off while Kaitlyn yells at AJ. The beatdown is on but Langston saves a screaming AJ.

US Title: Kane vs. Dean Ambrose

This is a rematch from last night with Dean defending. Kane hits some quick uppercuts and a powerslam for two. Apparently Bryan might have some nerve damage but is still being checked. Kane fires off some clotheslines in the corner and gets two off the side slam. Not that it matters as here’s Reigns for the DQ at 1:35.

Shield beats Kane down post match with the TripleBomb.

Mark Henry is here.

Vickie yells at Shield in the back but Vince comes in and compliments their ruthless aggression, meaning Vince vs. HHH MUST CONTINUE!!!

We’re now getting regular commercials for the WWE App. My girlfriend downloaded it the other day for fun and it’s nothing. It’s a string of videos and access to a social media thing where you can hashtag your city. There’s also a breaking news section with nothing in it that we could see.

Here’s Zeb Colter to say that he’s bringing Antonio Cesaro to his team. In other words, he’s now a jobber to the stars with a manager. Cole immediately buries the idea on commentary.

Antonio Cesaro vs. William Regal

Cesaro pounds him down and hits the gutwrench suplex as the announcers ignore the match to bicker. A delayed backdrop gets two on Regal and Cesaro hooks a swinging chinlock of all things. The Neutralizer ends Regal at 2:43.

Cesaro drapes a Don’t Treat On Me flag over Regal as Cole is literally laughing at this.

Here’s Cena for a chat. He loves being booed by the fans because they can cheer anyone they want. Some people love Punk and boo him all night and that’s perfectly fine with him. He goes to war every time he defends the title and after putting Ryback in an ambulance last night, he gets to say the champ is here. For everyone who never left his side, thank you. He can take any challenge that anyone puts in front of him and can’t wait for Money in the Bank.

Cena doesn’t care who challenges him that night because he’ll be ready. He knows he won’t have the title forever but the next person to hold it will earn it because the champ is here. The fans seemed receptive to Cena tonight….and here’s Mark Henry. He leaves a pair of boots on the stage and tells Cena he can put his guard down. Henry has watched Cena rise through the WWE and thinks Cena is doing a great job. The fans chant Sexual Chocolate as Henry says if you don’t remember the moment, at least you’ll remember his salmon colored coat.

Henry is proud of all of his success in the business as a former ECW Champion and World Heavyweight Champion. However, due to all of his injuries, he’s going to have to retire. The fans chant one more match and Cena hands Henry the title. Henry holds up the belt but hands it back to Cena because he never earned it. Henry talks about his family and says they’re going to get sick of them because he’s coming home. Cena shakes his hand….AND GETS A WORLD’S STRONGEST SLAM? Henry shouts that he has a lot left in the tank and says that the title will be his.

Post break Henry says all the people are puppets and everyone bought it.

Heath Slater vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho pounds him down with ease but Jinder Mahal breaks up the Lionsault to give Slater two. If my memory is right, Slater beat Jericho back in the first season of NXT. Not that it matters as the Codebreaker ends Slater at 2:20. Nothing to see here.

Post match Jericho beats up the rest of the Band because he can.

Paul Heyman doesn’t want to answer any questions about CM Punk. He says that he knows when to give his friends space and thinks we should be talking about the Intercontinental Champion. New catchphrase for Axel: he was born to be better than perfect. I think I like that one.

Sin Cara vs. Curtis Axel

Miz is on commentary. This is Axel’s third match against Sin Cara in less than six months. A quick backbreaker puts Cara down and a shoulder block puts him down again. There’s a quick belly to back suplex for two but Cara comes back with a DDT. Cara’s Swanton hits knees and a spinning DDT ends Cara at 2:40. Total squash.

Vince approves Henry vs. Cena for MITB when Stephanie and HHH come in. Trips gets on Vickie for not listening to him and glares at Vince.

Heyman sucks up to Punk and says he’ll be cheering for Punk tonight.

Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk

Non-title and Del Rio runs to the floor twice in the first minute. Punk finally goes to the floor but gets stomped down on the way back in. Del Rio kicks him in the head and pounds him to the floor, only to have Punk whip him into the barricade to take over again. Punk takes too long to shout at Ricardo on the way back in though, allowing Del Rio to snap Punk’s arm over the top rope as we take a break.

Back with Del Rio kicking Punk in the head as we hear that Bryan will be ready to go on Friday. Alberto goes up for an ax handle but gets punched in the ribs on the way down. Del Rio gets in another kick to the arm to send Punk into the ropes for the Backstabber for two. The low superkick is countered into a rollup for two and now the low superkick connects for two for the champion. The cross armbreaker is countered into the GTS but Del Rio rolls to the outside. Alberto walks out for the countout at 11:30.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t much but it worked well enough all things considered. This was really just a backdrop for the post match stuff which we’ll go to now because it’s more interesting than this match.

Post match Ziggler runs out and DESTROYS Del Rio to a mammoth face reaction.

Punk is still standing in the ring and LESNAR! He picks up a mic but says nothing. Instead he picks up Punk and lays him out with a massive F5 to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. I was digging tonight’s show as it had a certain edge to it. Stuff was set up for Money in the Bank, we got some decent action, we had a return, and we had some humorous lines from HHH to Vickie. The main story continues to be Vince vs. HHH which is still a stupid power control angle that has been done so many times and I have no idea why they think this is the best way to go. I was digging the show tonight for the first time in a long time though which is a great sign coming off a solid PPV.

Results

Christian b. Wade Barrett – Killswitch

Rhodes Scholars b. Sheamus – Rollup

Randy Orton b. Daniel Bryan via referee stoppage

Kane b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Shield interfered

Antonio Cesaro b. William Regal – Neutralizer

Chris Jericho b. 3MB – Codebreaker

Curtis Axel b. Sin Cara – Spinning DDT

CM Punk b. Alberto Del Rio via countout

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

He’s back and he laid out Punk with an F5.  i can see Summerslam and I’m not sure what to think of it yet.

Punk said that he doesn’t want Heyman out there for his matches anymore.  You can see Punk vs. Lesnar at Summerslam for here.  Why I’m not sure but you can see it.

Anyone that has been following my stuff lately knows that I’m not a fan of where WWE is going right now, with the majority of my problems being with Brock and HHH. While I’ve kind of explained why it doesn’t work, it’s not something that can be properly explained in a paragraph or two. I’ve been wanting to do a piece on something like this for awhile now so this fits perfectly. Today we’re going to be talking about audiences identifying with characters and how badly things things can go when that totally misses the mark. Let’s get to it.

Before I get into this, a disclaimer: there are MANY more ways for a wrestler to get over with a crowd than the ones I’m going to be talking about here. This is NOT saying that a character is a failure if his character doesn’t completely click, as it’s almost impossible to do that for everyone. Therefore, spare me the “I don’t identify with Cena so his character sucks” jazz, because you’re both missing the point and a lunkhead for saying it, not to mention wasting my time.

Since professional wrestling got started, the idea has been to find a way to get people to pay their money to buy a ticket to your shows. This was accomplished by taking two guys, coming up with a reason for them to not like each other, and have a wrestling match for the two guys to fight it out. That’s wrestling booking in a very small nutshell, but for some reason that’s been lost over the years (there’s a LOT to be said about that but we’ll come back to it at a later date).

Anyway, the idea is you establish characters with a conflict between them and have them settle said conflict in a match. A lot of these conflicts can be very basic, ranging from “you’ve got a title and I want it” to “I lost that match because of you” to “you had to cheat to beat me so now we’re going to fight in a cage where no one can help you”. There are dozens of ways to tell a story, but the good stories are the ones that involve both people and can only involve those people. We’ll come back to that idea later on.

There are limitless amounts of characters that you can have in wrestling. Off the top of my head there has been a zombie, a patriot, a viking, desperadoes, a billionaire, a guy that likes birds, a guy that likes snakes, a plumber, a wisecracking jock, a hippie, a lumberjack and a guy from the future. A lot of those are really basic one idea characters, but some of them are well developed ideas who can adapt to any story. The more in depth the character is, the better that character is, as they can be used for more complicated stories while also being able to be placed into whatever story you like. Let’s look at some examples.

We’ll start with the biggest character of all time: Hulk Hogan. When you really think about it, Hulk Hogan in the red and yellow is a really simple character. He’s the quintessential good guy who does the right thing (other than cheating in matches), loves kids, and is an AMERICAN. Think back to the 80s and think about how many times Hulk fought some foreigner and then waved the American flag after winning a match. It was a very basic idea but it always got people excited.

Why did it get people excited? Very simple: people love their country. Seriously that’s all there is to it. Americans, and people of almost any other nationality, have a love for their country and like to see it be on top. Why do you think so many fans like professional or college team sports? It’s because that’s THEIR town or THEIR school. It’s a sense of self pride that almost all Americans share.

Another and probably better example of this kind of character is Jim Duggan. For those of you unfamiliar (how is that possible?), Duggan was an American patriot who wasn’t all that bright, but he carried the American flag in one hand and a big old board in the other. He said all he needed was the Old Glory and these two fists and he’d never stop fighting. Duggan rarely won big matches, but that loveable oaf stayed around forever because it’s almost impossible to now look at a guy carrying the red white and blue and not smile just a little bit.

Now let’s take it one step further and look at a more in depth character who was based around American values and the idea of appealing to the masses: the American Dream Dusty Rhodes. Rhodes was the common man, the son of a plumber, the American Dream. He would say “I have wined and dined with kings and queens, and I’ve slept in alleys eating pork and beans.” The idea was he wasn’t some rich guy who was paid millions of dollars and still loved America. He was like YOU and could relate to what you were going through.

This kind of common man character was the perfect opponent for the reigning NWA World Champion, the Nature Boy Ric Flair. Flair often bragged about having whatever woman he wanted, hung out with professional athletes, rode in limousines, flew in private jets, and wore clothes that most people would only stare at through high priced store windows before walking down to Wal-Mart to buy the things they could afford. Flair at one point said that his shoes were worth more than Dusty’s house.

One day on television, the yet to be named Four Horsemen broke into a steel cage and beat Dusty down, breaking his ankle. A few months later, Dusty returned and talked about how Ric Flair put hard times on Dusty Rhodes and his family. Flair didn’t know what hard times were, but the American people knew what it was. Hard times are when the textile workers are out of work, or when someone has been working thirty years at a job and is given a watch and told a computer is going to do your job. Dusty didn’t look like the modern day athlete, but he loved the people and reached out his hand to them, promising to take the world title.

This promo, called Hard Times, is widely considered the greatest promo of all time because the people could and did identify with it. People got what Dusty was talking about and as they listened, they could see what he was talking about in their own lives. The fans identified with Dusty Rhodes and what he was talking about, making Dusty Rhodes THEIR hero. As luck would have it, this hero would be facing a man who was everything the common man wasn’t at a major wrestling event, and YOU could watch it if you paid your money right now.

That’s the idea that I’ve been talking about. You had two guys with developed characters which could be put together against each other with the fans identifying with one as the good guy and the other as the bad guy. The feud was a massive success and is one of the best of all times, possibly even the best that WCW ever produced. To this day it’s still one of the best ever because it was so basically yet effectively done.

Going with the same idea, another of the biggest feuds of all time was the feud that fueled the Attitude Era: Steve Austin vs. Vince McMahon. Look at the basics of this feud. You have Steve Austin, a beer drinking brawler from Texas, facing off with a billionaire from Connecticut who was borderline psychotic and willing to allow a demon who worshipped him to burn a cross like symbol on his lawn and have his daughter sacrificed in a Satanic wedding, all to get the WWF Title off of Steve Austin using his army of hand picked Corporate Champions.

Now, how in the world can fans relate to something like that? One idea: how many people have ever wanted to beat up their boss? How many people had ever had a boss who said that you weren’t doing things the way he wanted them to or you were punished by some stupid rule? It was YOU who was out there working hard all day and keeping your company running, but your boss is the one making millions of dollars off the hard work you’re putting in. How would you have liked to crack them over the head with a chair, give them a Stunner and have a cold beer?

On top of that, there was something Austin did that Hogan or Sammartino (quick aside: Sammartino was an even more basic ethnic champion than Hogan was. New York City had a lot of Italians and that was all Sammartino was: a strong Italian. That was enough to hold the world title over eleven years and sell out Madison Square Garden about two hundred times. It really is that easy.) or anyone else did: he didn’t always overcome the odds. Think about it.

Austin was a six time WWF Champion. Here’s how he lost the belt each time: first blood match against a guy in a mask, loss in a glorified handicap match to Undertaker and Kane, lost to Undertaker in a match where Vince and Shane McMahon were both guest referees, triple threat match, lost to an American hero in said hero’s hometown four days after September 11, 2001 and finally to Chris Jericho after already facing Kurt Angle and having Angle interfere in the Jericho match.

In short, Austin wasn’t the kind of guy who always overcame impossible odds. When he was against something that no one could overcome, he lost, only to get the title back a few weeks or months later. The key to that is Austin wasn’t Superman, but rather a man like any other. He had limits and weaknesses which could cause him to lose for awhile, but he could always fight another day. That’s something that people have to do all the time, and again it allows people to identify with Austin.

I could go on for pages and pages about various other great characters and how fans can identify with them, but you get the point. Now let’s take a look at the other end of the spectrum and how characters can be very basic characters with either no room to grow or no real target audience whatsoever.

Looking back at the early to mid-90s, a very bad time for the WWF, we see guys like Friar Ferguson (wrestling friar), T. L. Hopper (wrestling plumber), Rad Radford (grunge musician), Duke Droese (wrestling garbageman), Damien Demento (weird guy) and the Goon (wrestling hockey player). All of these guys have one thing in common (well one major thing in common): There’s nothing to them.

Think about it. What is there about any of those guys that makes them good or bad? What is good or evil about a plumber? What kind of storylines can a plumber get into? Why would I cheer or boo a plumber? There’s no thought or depth to this character and he has nowhere to go with anything. It’s a one note character and due to how weak he is, Hopper didn’t last long at all. That could be said with any of these guys, talent levels aside.

Now let’s get to the meat of what I want to talk about with the characters not fitting. There are two primary modern examples of this, one of which is HHH/Lesnar which we’ll get to in a bit. First of all though, let’s jump back to the year 2011 when Dolph Ziggler held the United States Title. At this same point, Zack Ryder was becoming very popular due to his online show, Z! True Long Island Story.

On the show, Ryder began to fall for WWE Diva Eve Torres, while at the same time starting a petition to get himself a US Title shot. The fans got behind Ryder, even to the point of cheering for him while the Rock was standing in the middle of Madison Square Garden after Survivor Series had went off the air. People wanted Zack Ryder and he was all of a sudden the hottest guy in wrestling.

A month later, Ryder got his US Title shot at TLC and won the championship to blow the roof off the building. The fans had gotten what they wanted and their hero had delivered what he promised them he would do if just given the chance. Around the same time, Eve started noticing Zack, meaning that Ryder was getting the cherry on top of the US Title. Life was perfect for Ryder, at least for now.

Soon after this, Kane started targeting Ryder’s friend John Cena. Cena came back at Kane, so Kane went after Ryder and Eve. One night Kane destroyed Ryder and went after Eve, only to have Cena make the save. Eve, in gratitude, kissed Cena as Ryder watched from the side, disgusted with his friend for betraying him like he had. Soon after this, Ryder lost the US Title and Cena didn’t really seem to care. A month or two later, Eve turned on Ryder, costing him his match at Wrestlemania. Ryder has been right back where he was before his web show ever since.

Now let’s break this scenario down. At this point, WWE’s target audience was younger people, ranging from children to teenagers. The two main guys in this story are Zack Ryder and John Cena. Look at those two. Ryder is a glorified geek who was in WAY over his head but got his one shot at glory and won the big one. At the same time, he was head over heels for a woman way out of his league and seemingly got her too. On the other hand you have John Cena. Cena was a mainstream celebrity, looked like he was carved out of stone, handsome, one of the biggest stars ever, and the epitome of the top dog.

Who do you think most people are going to relate to? Back in middle school or high school, how many people saw some guy or girl that they were completely taken by? They would saw off their own leg for a smile from the other person, but the person they wanted had no idea they were alive. The guy or girl you wanted was off with either a gorgeous cheerleader or a starting running back and wouldn’t know your name if their life depended on it. How many of you were like that when you were say, fifteen?

At the end of the day, the vast majority of people are like Ryder: awkward, not popular, a face in the crowd and have no chance to get the one that they want. Yet in this story, it’s Cena who is the hero. Cena, the star football player or head cheerleader, is the one that gets the gorgeous girl and gets to slay the giant, rather than Ryder who looks like the loser he’s always been made out to be. In this story, the dream that the common man has was crushed and given to the one who has it all, and we’re supposed to cheer him for it. I’m sure there are people out there who can more than identify with Cena, but they’re in the minority.

To better illustrate how backwards this was, let’s take a look at my all time favorite moment: Mankind wins his first WWF Championship. It’s the same basic idea: Mankind is the outcast who had few friends and was labeled a freak, while Rock was the star athlete who has been bred for success from the day he was born. Again, how many people were basically outcasts in high school and how many people were the top athlete that wound up playing pro football?

On January 4, 1999, Mankind won the title and Michael Cole sums up the entire feud perfectly: “Mick Foley has achieved his dream and the dream of everyone else who has been told you can’t do it.” That’s the entire story in a nutshell: this was the moment for fans who hadn’t even been the best and on top of the world. They could identify with wanting Foley to achieve his dream and on that night, that’s exactly what they got.

Now for the difference between Ryder and Foley (oddly enough both from Long Island and they both beat guys from south Florida to win their titles): while Foley lost his title less than a month later, Foley never was treated like an underling again. From that moment on, he was a bonafide main event star and had risen up the card after winning a major match. Ryder never ascended at all and was back where he started from a few months later. The fans had put their faith in Foley and he had carried them to a higher level.

This FINALLY brings me back to the HHH vs. Lesnar story. There are two major problems with it, aside from the matches being nowhere near good enough to warrant this kind of a feud. First and foremost, who is this supposed to appeal to? I know HHH was pretty popular, but there isn’t much of a fanbase that fits into the “13 time world champion who married into the family that owns the company by marrying the boss’ gorgeous daughter which has put me in position to run a billion dollar company for the next thirty years while getting to beat up former UFC Heavyweight Champions” category.

That’s my big problem with this. The only person that seems to gain anything from this feud is HHH. This also ties into my second problem: it’s a HHH feud. This story has nothing at all to do with Brock Lesnar, who is a once in a generation talent. Think back with me to Extreme Rules 2012 and Lesnar’s match with John Cena.

Coming into the match, Cena had just gotten done facing The Rock at Wrestlemania 28 in one of the biggest matches of all time. Cena had dominated the company to the point that WWE had to bring the Rock back to give Cena a legitimate challenge. Once that was gone, they had to bring in the former UFC Heavyweight Champion of the World to make Cena break a sweat. Lesnar MAULED Cena on Raw and at the PPV, taking Cena down with ease and laughing about it at the time.

Look back at that match. The fans start cheering for Cena because they know he’s in the fight of his life. It isn’t because they love Cena per se. It’s because they want to see the underdog somehow pull off the miracle and beat someone he’s in WAY over his head against. Compare this to HHH, who has basically only lost to Lesnar because he’s gotten caught in a hold or Lesnar’s manager has cheated, not because Lesnar is a force that can’t be stopped. It’s hard to buy that John Cena gets run over by Lesnar like a train but HHH can stand and fight Brock toe to toe.

Finally, as I said HHH vs. Lesnar is a HHH story and there’s not a huge fanbase that can get into that. Think back to the night that Lesnar destroyed HHH’s office. None of that stuff was personal to HHH. It was furniture and electronics that was paid for by the company. It shows how he isn’t a common man but rather a corporate guy who can fight. For a company that is supposed to be targeting kids, it’s kind of hard to accept them getting upset over a bunch of furniture being destroyed.

On top of THAT, Brock Lesnar is just a warm body in this feud. Think about it like this: you could put ANY monster heel in this feud and it would be the same story. You could have Big Show, Mark Henry, a heel Sheamus, or any other big strong guy you wanted to have in Brock’s role and the story would be the same, because the story is about HHH. When Lesnar fought Cena, ONLY Brock Lesnar could fit in that role because ONLY Brock Lesnar was a force that Cena had never faced before. In short, both characters have to fit the story. Dusty Rhodes’ common man character doesn’t work without a rich man in Flair to play against.

To wrap things up, that’s why I don’t like HHH vs. Lesnar: it’s a Triple H story instead of a Brock story, and it’s really hard to get behind a HHH story as there isn’t a huge fanbase that can identify with him. That would be fine if their matches were blowing the doors off the place, but they’re simply not doing that. They’re good, but not nearly good enough to warrant a year long feud.

In general, that lack of depth can be made up for by having the audience identify with one or both of the characters, such as in all the examples I gave you. Almost no one is going to be rich like Vince, but a lot of people can identify with having a boss they want to beat up. Identifying with the audience is one of the hardest things to do in wrestling, but if you can pull it off you have (in theory) the hardest part done and the booking can take care of the rest.