This obviously is setting up a match either at Over the Limit or MITB which I think is the next PPV. It was supposed to be at Wrestlemania 21 but Lesnar bailed. The match would be interesting and HHH can go down without losing face.

Thoughts on this?

It’s time for another WWE PPV and we’re in Chicago again. It’s a triple main event with Bryan vs. Sheamus 2/3 falls, Punk vs. Jericho in a Chicago Street Fight and Cena vs. Lesnar in an Extreme Rules match, which is clearly different than a Chicago Street Fight because….uh…..oh because one has the word Chicago in it. I’m somewhat excited about this show so let’s get to it.

US Title: Santino Marella vs. The Miz

This is on the pre-show because the US Title doesn’t have any place on a PPV right? Santino is defending. Before the match Miz goes on a rant about how he was in the main event last year and then won the power for Ace at Mania but he’s on the pre-show here. It seems like they’re teasing a tease of face turn for him.

Miz gets sent to the floor quickly and heads back to said floor when Santino loads up the Cobra. Back in Miz stomps him down and hits a kick to the head for two. Some knees to the chest/head get two so it’s time for some chinlockery. The fans are totally behind Santino of course. Low DDT gets two. Miz’s running clothesline hits in the corner and a top rope ax handle gets two. Quick rollup gets two for the champ. Miz quickly takes him down but jumps into a right hand. Santino starts his comeback and here’s the Cobra. Miz charges into the corner, misses, and the Cobra retains at 4:37.

Rating: D+. This was any TV match you could imagine. There was nothing to see here and while it was ok, this really shows how far Miz has fallen. It’s not that he lost to Santino, but rather that no one is really surprised that he did. That’s the much more telling idea to me. Not a horrible match and it’s probably good that this wasn’t on the PPV.

Time for the actual PPV now.

Kane vs. Randy Orton

Falls count anywhere. Orton starts fast and goes to the corner but gets caught by an uppercut and knocked to the floor. Kane gets the lead pipe despite this being just falls count anywhere. Orton gets the pipe and gets in a few shots as they go to the floor. Orton pounds on him up against the barricade and they go into the crowd. It’s one of those “I hit you so naturally you stumble forward five steps then I hit you again.”

Kane comes back with some right hands and the low dropkick for two. They go up the stands and then down towards the stage. This has been 90% punches. Orton dropkicks him by the stage for two. They go backstage and into the halls. A bunch of people are watching the show and Ryder jumps Kane, pounding him in the back with forearms. They don’t work but him trying is more than he’s ever done.

Orton saves him with the backbreaker which gets two. They head back down the hall and Kane throws a small table at Orton, clearly not hitting him but Randy is nice enough to go down for two. They head back to the ring and Orton hits the powerslam. Orton gets in some chair shots and they head to the floor. He loads up the announce table but Kane fights out of it. No chokeslam as Orton fires off some elbows to the head, so it’s the elevated DDT on the floor instead. Somehow driving a man’s head into a thin mat over concrete only gets two.

Kane shoves off an RKO attempt to send Orton into the post for two. Back in the ring Kane goes up but Orton manages to pull off his dad’s superplex for two. Orton goes Viper but the RKO is countered again. Chokeslam hits for two and Kane has a small fit. He sets for a tombstone on the chair but gets caught in the RKO onto it for the pin at 16:48.

Rating: B-. It was a good brawl but a lot of it was just them walking back and forth and punching. The in ring stuff was a lot better and the Ryder interference was a nice touch. It’s three months late but it was nice. This should end the feud though, and as long as it doesn’t lead to Mahal vs. Orton I’m cool with that.

Eve and Ace are in the back and liked the first match. They have the Raw Roulette wheel behind them and Eve has Teddy bring in champagne. He has the massive nametag too. Ace gets a call from HHH and has to go. It doesn’t seem to be anything bad.

Brodus Clay vs. Dolph Ziggler

The “smart” fans chant for Ziggler and they go to the floor quickly. Swagger runs over Brodus to put him down and get him in trouble for the first time. Back in Ziggler pounds on him but Brodus comes back with a headbutt. A knee lift misses and the Fameasser gets two. Another dropkick gets one and it’s time for a modified sleeper. Brodus stands up and easily throws Ziggler over. Dolph tries a suplex and is easily thrown off. Brodus gets all fired up and shakes, including a shot to Swagger. Headbutt to the ribs sets up the splash for the clean pin at 4:19.

Rating: C. This is EXACTLY what Brodus needed. He’s squashed jobbers for months now so a real win where he had to fight off some people is a great upgrade for him. Ziggler hammered away on him and certainly didn’t get squashed, which is how you make someone like Clay look great. Good stuff.

We see the wheel being spun for the IC Title match and it’s a tables match. This is somehow Teddy’s fault. Big Show is pleased.

Intercontinental Title: Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes

Show quickly backdrops him and we go to the floor. He hits the chop up against the barricade and sets up the first table in front of the announce table. Cody tries to get in a few shots but gets thrown around with ease. There’s another table set up in the corner of the ring now.

Show tries to throw him through that one but Cody runs up the table and hits the Disaster Kick in a sweet move. Show knocks him to the floor again and Cody tries for a table. This goes about as well as you would expect and a clothesline puts him down. Show tries to get back in and Cody kicks him down, sending Show feet first through the table for the title at 4:36.

Rating: D. Cody got DESTROYED for four weeks since Wrestlemania, lost to Khali, lost to Big Show, but SWERVE: he wins the title here. This is why the midcard is dead and the titles mean nothing: why should we buy Cody as champion after the beatings he’s taken for the last month? Someone explain this to me.

Show destroys the champ post match because that’s the best way to make Cody look strong Show puts him through two tables. Cody manages to walk to the back because that’s supposed to make it all better I guess.

Bryan explains why he’s better than Sheamus: he gets better chicks, he has a better beard and he doesn’t have five pounds of corned beef in his stomach. Bryan insults the crowd to try to get them to stop cheering him but then does a YES sequence….which gets a NO reaction. AJ is watching but Bryan doesn’t see her.

We recap Bryan vs. Sheamus. It was 18 seconds at Wrestlemania, Bryan snapped and threw out AJ, this is the 2/3 falls rematch.

Smackdown World Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus

Two out of three falls. The fans have seemingly forgiven Bryan in the last three minutes. They do big match intros and Sheamus doesn’t get the best reaction. It’s not really hatred but he’s not that well liked. He has an 18 seconds shirt which is a nice touch. Sheamus takes him to the mat quickly but Bryan pops up. Quick Brogue Kick attempt misses and Bryan grabs the arm.

They trade some technical stuff and Sheamus hits the fireman’s carry slam for two. Sheamus hooks a Texas Cloverleaf out of nowhere which is like his fourth finisher but Bryan makes the rope. It wasn’t a half bad one either. Sheamus tries it again but gets rolled up for two. Bryan fires off some shots and they head to the floor, but Bryan’s running knee is caught into a spinebuster into the barricade.

Back inside Sheamus goes up but gets crotched and falls into the ring. Bryan drops a bunch of knees and hooks an armbar. He bends the fingers back and bends the shoulder back in a SCARY looking angle. Sheamus rolls to his back to keep from having his shoulder destroyed and gets back to his feet. Bryan takes him down and hits a low dropkick for two. He chokes on the ropes because HE HAS TIL FIVE!

Bryan stays on the arm but Sheamus knocks him to the apron for the forearms. Sheamus charges into the corner and gets caught in a drop toehold into the buckle and kicked in the face for two. They go to the corner where Bryan’s rana is countered. The top rope shoulder gets two as this is getting good. Sheamus charges at Bryan but goes over the top to the floor. He may have hurt his ankle. Back in the High Cross is countered into a rollup for two.

YES Lock is countered twice but Sheamus charges into the post shoulder first. Bryan wraps the shoulder around the post and fires off about 15 kicks which is good for a DQ for Sheamus at 14:35. LAME. Bryan seems fine with it though. The second fall begins a few seconds later and Bryan hits a running dropkick in the corner. YES Lock goes on and stays on for a good while. Sheamus starts to lose consciousness and passes out to tie it up at 16:45.

The doctors come in to see if Sheamus can continue and Sheamus says let’s go. The fans are chanting YES/NO through this. Bryan charges into a kick to the face which only gets two because of a delayed cover. Big kick to the side of Sheamus’ head gets two. Bryan goes up but misses his dive. A charge misses and here come the ax handles. Irish Curse puts Bryan down and the Brogue Kick ends this clean at 23:00.

Rating: A-. Yeah this worked. If this was what Sheamus had won the title with at Mania I don’t think anyone would have complained. It’s probably Sheamus’ best match ever and the kind of win he needed. Having him pass out was a nice touch as instead of having him tap and look mortal he kept fighting which is the right move for him. Very good match here and the pickup this show needed.

Aaron Relic/Jay Hatton vs. Ryback

The Jobbers combine to weigh 340lbs. Santino and Khali are watching in the back. I like this “let’s watch Ryback” idea. They give a pro-Math promo to start the match. They keep saying 2 is greater than 1 and even Cole is ripping on them. The fans chant Goldberg and I can’t really argue. Let’s say Hatton starts with a pair of kicks that do NOTHING. A forearm does nothing. There’s a big boot to put him down and Ryback throws him into a powerslam. He drags Hatton to his corner and pulls the other jobber in. There’s the huge clothesline and the Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder kills jobber #2. MuscleBuster for the pin at 1:50.

Punk says that Jericho hasn’t proven anything yet and Punk has proven that he’s better than anyone else. Jericho is waking up with a hangover tomorrow because of the GTS.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Jericho said Punk would drink after he lost at Wrestlemania. Jericho lost at Wrestlemania so he poured alcohol over Punk and accused Punk of being drunk. This led to a field sobriety test which Punk faked being drunk for.

Raw World Title: Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk

It’s a Chicago Street Fight. They’re both in street clothes which is at least something different. They do big match intros and Punk is ungodly over. They stare each other down and it’s a brawl to start. Punk stomps him down into the corner and they head outside. Punk throws two chairs in and grabs a kendo stick, drawing an ECW chant. He gets in a few shots and tries a baseball swing at Jericho but Chris hits the floor.

Back in a clothesline puts Jericho down and it’s back to the stick. Punk’s sister is here in the front row and his parents are here somewhere. Jericho hides behind the referee and pokes Punk in the eye to take over. Out to the floor again and into timekeepers’ area but Punk gets in a shot. A headbutt puts the champion back down and he goes over in front of Punk’s sister.

Jericho gets in her face and gets slapped. He charges at her and that makes Punk snap. In something I’ve never seen before, Punk rips the top off the announce table and puts Jericho through the top of it. He tries a piledriver but Jericho shoves him off and takes over again, ramming him into the barricade which gets two in the ring. Chinlock time but it doesn’t last long. We lose a turnbuckle and Jericho fires off on Punk’s back with the kendo stick.

Jericho heads to the floor and finds a beer under the ring. That gives Punk a chance to catch his breath and he comes back with kendo stick shots to the back. Jericho comes back again and they go to the corner with Punk knocking him into Macho Elbow position. That only gets two as this is getting good. GTS is countered and Jericho throws him into a chair wedged between the ropes for two.

Codebreaker puts Punk down and Jericho smiles. He doesn’t cover but sets up the Walls. It’s the Liontamer and Punk is in trouble. Now it’s just the Walls because the Liontamer is too hard to get out of. Punk gets the rope but Jericho doesn’t let go because it’s a street fight. The champ finds a fire extinguisher under the ring and Jericho is kind enough to look over at him so it can be blasted into his face.

They go to the floor and Punk fires off some kicks. Jericho is laid out on the table so Punk goes up top and almost falls off the top. Now the Macho Elbow hits in a great looking dive. Jericho is holding the back of his head and seems mad at a chair. Back in the ring that somehow only gets two so Punk throws on the Anaconda Vice. Jericho tries for the kendo stick and gets in enough shots to Punk’s head to break the hold. Punk hits him in the ribs with a chair but Jericho grabs it for a Codebreaker which gets two. Jericho tries a GTS but Punk counters into a slingshot into the exposed buckle. GTS keeps the title at 25:10.

Rating: B+. This took awhile to get going but the near falls at the end were great. I don’t think anyone expected Punk to lose here and it wouldn’t have been right for him to. There’s no need for this feud to continue now as Punk has pinned Jericho and made him tap so there’s nothing left to prove. I’m not sure where either of them goes next but it should be interesting. Very good match.

Punk dives into the fans post match.

Eve is in the back and tells Beth there’s no medical clearance for her tonight. She says she’ll get the title back someday. Nikki doesn’t get the night off though and it’s a surprise opponent. Eve: “Don’t worry it’s not Kharma.”

Divas Title: Nikki Bella vs. ???

It’s Layla, who at least looks better than Kharma. She’s been gone what, a year? This is your basic Divas match with the Bellas trying to switch after a spin kick and Layla countering the facejam into the Layout Neckbreaker for the pin at the title at 2:26.

Ace says what he was on the phone with HHH about isn’t Striker’s business.

We recap Cena vs. Lesnar which I don’t think needs an explanation. This includes the 853rd instance of the sitdown interview from Raw two weeks ago.

John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar

This is an Extreme Rules match which means they’re in wrestling gear. Well Lesnar is in MMA gear but you get the idea. The fans are more behind Cena than Lesnar. Cena charges right into a takedown and Brock comes at him with the strikes. Cena is cut on the left side of his head. Cena grabs a quick front facelock but Lesnar is WAY too strong. He poundso n Cena even more and the doctor comes in to check the cut. The replay shows that it was an elbow to the head. They close or at least stop the cut and go back to it.

Cena charges in again and Lesnar pounds him right down. Brock hammers on him and knocks Cena to the floor with a knee. The doctors stop it AGAIN to check the cut. Cena hits a quick elbow and tries the FU but Lesnar escapes and hits two rolling Germans. Lesnar’s Gonna Kill You chant. Cena comes back with some elbows and the shoulder block but there goes the referee.

Cena hits the ropes again but Lesnar runs him over. Lesnar goes for the open wound and rubs Cena’s blood on his own chest. Brock throws on an armbar (screw that kimura crap. This is wrestling) and then throws Cena to the floor instead of cranking on it. To the floor and Brock throws it on again but lets it go a second time, throwing Cena into the barricade.

Back in and Lesnar gets Cena’s chain and lock. He puts it down and chains Cena’s feet together. Cena gets up and Brock hits what might have been the hardest clothesline I’ve ever seen. With the legs still tied together, Brock puts him in the Tree of Woe. Brock goes after the referee but Cena escapes. That goes badly again as Brock whips him into the steps. AA is countered again into an F5 attempt but Cena’s legs hit the referee.

A second referee comes out but Lesnar throws him out too. The steps are brought in and Cena says Brock can’t see him. Back into the armbar and this time there’s a body vice. They’re on the steps and the fans care cheering for Cena. He picks Brock up into kind of a spinebuster but his arm is hanging limp. Cena goes up but misses the Fameasser. He was about an inch from hitting the steps too.

Cena rolls to the floor and is spent. Lesnar looks around bur can’t find Cena. He gets up on the steps and sees Cena (hehe) who can barely get back in. Cena gets up on the apron so Lesnar gets a running start from the steps and hits kind of a Poetry In Motion move but crashes to the floor and hurts his knee. He’s fine but Cena has the chain. Brock charges again and Cena gets in the chain shot to clock Lesnar. I think Brock is busted now. Oh yeah he is and Cena’s head has a lot of blood there too. An AA onto the steps gives Cena the pin at 18:05.

Rating: A. WOW. This is going to be a disputed rating but this was an absolute war. Cena got one homerun shot to win it but that’s all he needed. Lesnar dominated about 95% of the match but it was good enough to make both guys look great. Lesnar can come back but Cena has the first win, which sets up a rematch where Lesnar can beat him. I had a blast with this and Lesnar looks AMAZING.

Cena poses on the steps to end the show. Scratch that as he wants a mic. He sits on the steps and says that he’s going to get sent home for speaking when he’s not spoken to. Cena says that he’s going to go home for this anyway. He knows this is Punk’s town but above all else, this is a wrestling town. Tonight the people were supposed to see the extreme and that’s what they got. He can’t feel his arm and he’s glad it was in Chicago. Everyone gives everything they have every night and if he has to take a vacation so be it. Thanks for one last ride and get home safe. What…..what just happened here?

Overall Rating: A. I had a good time with this show. It started off weak but MAN the last few matches were hitting on all cylinders. Even the Divas match wasn’t that bad. The main event was something totally different than we’ve seen in a long time and that’s what it needed to be. I was thinking this would be a good show and the big stuff hit perfectly. Good stuff here and worth checking out.

Results
Randy Orton b. Kane – RKO onto a chair
Brodus Clay b. Dolph Ziggler – Splash
Cody Rhodes b. Big Show – Cody dropkicked Show through a table
Sheamus b. Daniel Bryan – Sheamus won two falls to one
Ryback b. Aaron Relic/Jay Hatton – MuscleBuster to Hatton
CM Punk b. Chris Jericho – GTS
Layla b. Nikki Bella – Layout
John Cena b. Brock Lesnar – AA onto the steps

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I’m going with Lesnar over Cena but I think a better pick would be a big brawl that goes to a draw.  You can’t have Lesnar lose immediately coming back but Cena has to win something someday.  Cena hasn’t said anything in this feud for the most part other than in London so it should be interesting to see where it goes.

Sheamus retains.  It’s pretty clear that they’re going from Bryan to Del Rio as the new challenger because he’s the least interesting person they could have feuding with Sheamus and that’s the right choice I guess.  We’ll go with 2-0 on a hunch.

Oh and whatever Bella has the title retains before losing to Kharma on Raw.

Thoughts/picks?

Orton over Kane.  No real reason for it to go the other way.

Show will retain unless they’re really stupid with their booking.

Now the crux of this is based on the Brock interview that they’ve aired for the last two weeks.  The idea here is that Brock has dominated everything (not named professional football) that he’s ever competed in.  Everything from amateur wrestling to pro wrestling to the UFC, he’s gone to the top of it with no one being able to stand in his path.  Lesnar is a finely tuned athletic killing machine that has never been stopped no matter what he attempts.

On the other side you have John Cena, who played college football and is the top man in the WWE and has been for about the last 7 years.  He started very slowly and worked his way to the top.  The idea is that Cena works his way through every problem he faces and even when he fails, he never gives in and never quits.  He spent years and years perfecting his craft, unlike Lesnar who has basically come in and within a month or two is the top dog everywhere.

This presents a very strong dichotomy between the two and gives you an angle to play off of.  This is where Rocky V comes in.  For those of you that haven’t seen it, the end of the movie is a confrontation between Rocky and Tommy Gunn.  Rocky is a street fighter who had no high class training and was very raw for the most part of his career.  Gunn was trained well and became a polished fighter.  Now at the beginning of the movie, Rocky has been told that he can never step foot into a boxing ring again due to fear of head trauma.  This is where the connection kicks in.

By the end of the movie the two are about to fight each other but Gunn’s manager says that Tommy only fights in the ring.  Rocky says “my ring’s outside.”  Now THIS is where the WWE should pick up on things.  The idea is that Lesnar has dominated everything he’s done, but everything he’s done has had rules.  Even in the UFC, everything is regulated and under control at all times.  Play up Cena’s background as more of a street brawler (if you flash WAY back in his career it’s there) and how he’s not a polished killing machine like Lesnar, but at Extreme Rules, Lesnar doesn’t have anything under control.  It’s on Cena’s terms, not Brock’s.  It’s a street fight, not a match with rounds and rules and on Sunday, anything goes.

To cap it off, picture Cena saying something like this: “And Brock, this Sunday in Chicago, if you think the beatings you took in the UFC were bad, you just wait.  There ain’t gonna be a referee to pull me off you like when you guys like Cain Velazquez and Allastair Overeem beating your face into a cage.  That’s what happens when you lose control: you get beaten up Brock.  I’m not stopping until the job’s done and I’m the one left standing.  See you on Sunday.”

Thoughts?

It’s a three hour show in Detroit tonight. In theory this was going to be the Draft but with the Super Show having guys from both shows on it, there’s no real need to have one. Del Rio was officially traded to Smackdown so they could probably have things like that instead of wasting a full show on a Draft. That’s probably a good idea as you can use time on other stuff. Today is also Cena’s birthday if that means anything. Let’s get to it.

Let’s burn it to the ground.

We open with the Lesnar vs. Cena contract signing, moderated by Teddy Long. Teddy screws up something about the number of titles Cena has won, because CLEARLY which title he’s won makes a difference right? Brock gets his entrance but it’s Ace instead. Brock isn’t here yet so the signing will be later. Also tonight might be Cena’s last night on Raw, so get out of his ring.

Ace goes to leave…..and here’s Edge. He says he’s off his contract in a few days after this but he’s here to talk to Cena. However this isn’t the real Cena standing in front of him. Edge came to talk to the John Cena who is his greatest rival ever in the WWE. The real Cena is the one that beat him at TLC in Toronto and threw him in the Long Island Sound. Maybe it was Rock beating him that changed Cena, because big losses can change people, like Andre losing to Hogan and the Screwjob and such.

Cena has to find what’s inside of him because this is all that both Edge and Cena have ever done. This isn’t what Lesnar is all about. He doesn’t care about these people unless they can line his pockets. Brock was gone for eight years while Cena and Edge were carrying the load. A loss to Lesnar is a slap in the face of guys like Undertaker, Michaels and Edge, so Cena needs to wake up. He isn’t asking Cena to beat Lesnar. He’s telling him to. This was pretty freaking awesome.

Chris Jericho vs. Kofi Kingston

Kofi quickly knocks him to the floor and has to do the hair bounce off the top rope thing because Jericho moved out of the way. Back in Jericho easily takes over and chops Kofi down before hooking a headlock. A charge into the corner misses and Jericho is knocked to the floor. Kofi hits a HUGE flip dive over the top which looked awesome. Chris is down as we take a break.

Back with Jericho holding a chinlock (duh) due to the springboard dropkick during the break. The bulldog puts Kofi down but the Lionsault misses. Standing rana gets two for Kofi but Chris hits a clothesline to take him down. Kofi pops back up for the top rope cross body and the SOS for two each. Trouble in Paradise is countered into a Walls attempt but Kofi escapes. He tries a springboard something but jumps into the Codebreaker. Liontamer ends this at 12:00.

Rating: B-. This was getting really good by the end. Kofi is great in this spot and I’d have few problems if he stayed here for awhile. He can be given a quick push if need be but he’s fitting in very well as a high flying jobber to the stars. There’s nothing wrong with being in this place on the card for a long stretch as a lot of people have had fine careers here.

Jericho says he’s going to win the title on Sunday and has a present for Punk when his title reign ends.

We get a clip of Lesnar debuting (in the ring) against Jeff Hardy and winning by KO at Backlash 2002.

Ace is on the phone when Eve comes in. He tells her to call him Johnny and offers her an opening in his administration. The job would be Executive Administrator which she accepts. He wants a hug but gets a handshake instead.

We get some of the sitdown interview from last week with Lesnar.

Punk is in the back and his gift is a big basket of liquor. Punk keeps one bottle which he says he’ll give to Jericho at the PPV and gives the rest of the basket to Josh. This could be interesting.

Lord Tensai vs. R-Truth

This is kind of a drop in opponent quality for Tensai. Tensai’s inset promo is mostly in Japanese. Tensai no sells a lot of Truth’s offense and runs him over. He fires off the headbutts in the corner and Truth is in trouble. Backsplash hits and the Baldo Bomb sets up the Mist Claw for the win at 2:00.

Here’s Kane to talk about the match on Sunday with Orton. Orton can’t beat Kane with rules as was proven at Wrestlemania so why would he think that he can beat Kane without them? Orton is struggling with humanity and hates that Kane has discovered his one true weakness. Kane has found Orton’s shoulders? He calls Randy a scared boy looking for his father. Orton pops up on the screen and says he wants to get into this too. Behind him is Paul Bearer tied up in a chair. Orton throws him inside what looks like a freezer. Kane says he doesn’t care because his father is the devil himself.

Kane goes to leave but Orton comes up the aisle for a slugout. Kane gets rammed into the steps and then the post with a good looking shot. Orton finds a pipe from somewhere and beats Kane up with it, sending Kane up through the crowd.

Jericho is in the back and runs into Alex Riley, who says he thinks Punk is drinking from the bottle of alcohol he was given. They go to his locker room and see him on the phone having a drink from a red cup with the bottle next to it, but you can’t tell what’s in the cup. Jericho looks happily stunned.

Alberto Del Rio/Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show/Great Khali

Cody vs. Show II is announced for the PPV and the stipulation is to be determined. They don’t know it by now? That can’t be a good sign. Khali is limping from the attack on Friday. He and Cody start and Cody’s kick is easily countered. Khali goes after the knee of Cody but when he loads up the chop Cody bails to the floor. Back inside Rhodes immediately tags out and Alberto fires a kick to the knee. That gets him nowhere other than into the corner for some chops.

We take a break and come back with the hot tag to Big show so he can beat on Del Rio. Cody pulls the rope down and sends Show to the floor for some work on the knee. The heels work over the knee with Cody hooking the Figure Four. It’s not as bad as the one from Friday but it’s still pretty bad. Show comes back and Del Rio walks out, allowing the chokeslam to pin Cody at 10:20.

Rating: D+. Oh good freaking grief this company makes my head HURT. There’s a title match on Sunday (one of five total on the show I believe) and they decide to have the champion, who has dominated the challenger for a month now, dominate him again. I mean, heaven forbid that Khali gets pinned or that Big Show takes a fluke fall to make us think that Cody has a chance right?

Santino defends the US Title against Miz on the pre-show on Sunday, because THE UNITED STATES TITLE ISN’T IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO PUT ON A FREAKING PAY PER VIEW!

Jericho is with Ace, Eve and Teddy, saying that Punk needs to be stripped of the title. Eve says that there’s a WWE rule saying that you can’t drink alcohol within 12 hours of a WWE show. There’s going to be a field sobriety test later. Jericho leaves and Teddy gets yelled at for not following the rules. He gets to administer the test later and possibly strip Punk of the title.

Lesnar is here and shoves Josh against a wall. Brock walks away and Josh says he’s just trying to do his job, which earns him a trip through the interview set.

Back from a break and Josh is being put on a stretcher.

Divas Title: Nikki Bella vs. Beth Phoenix

Before the match here’s Eve to say that this is now a lumberjack match. Maxine is one of the divas here so I’m sure she’ll be complaining about not being off NXT yet this week again. Nikki dropkicks Beth down and monkey flips her down. That results in her getting slammed into the corner and gorilla press dropped. Off to a chinlock followed by a backbreaker. Beth throws her to the floor and injures her knee. Brie goes after Beth and the lumberjacks jump on Beth in a dog pile. I think there was a switch in the pile but I’m not sure. Beth’s ankle or leg is messed up, allowing Nikki to roll her up and win the title at 4:11.

Rating: D. The girls looked good, the match was the usual Diva stuff, the whole deal with the Bellas leaving soon is now up in the air, I still don’t care about the Divas. Next. Oh and the leg injury appears to be real.

Punk freaks out and breaks stuff because he has to have a sobriety test.

Here’s Teddy with two cops for the sobriety test. Jericho comes out to observe this. Punk comes out and is acting shaky because he’s drunk you see. He drops the belt as he’s standing in the ring. It’s not Hawk in 98 bad but I don’t see a clear ending to this. Punk talks about how ridiculous this is, and the whole WWF (yes WWF) Universe says this is ridiculous. First up is he has to recite the alphabet backwards. He can’t do it and says it’s stupid because no one can do that sober or drunk.

Next up is walking a red line that’s in the ring. “I’ve seen Cops before. This is easy.” He does a Karate Kid impression but can’t do this either. The second officer says that Punk is obviously intoxicated and the cops are sent away. Teddy asks for the title and Punk doesn’t want to do it of course. He hands Teddy the title but before it goes to Jericho Punk wants one more chance. He tries to do the alphabet backwards again and does it very slowly (messing up the S and the T) but does it at the same time as walking a straight line, before moonwalking and strutting through the end. Punk gets it right and destroys Jericho.

Clip of Lesnar destroying Hogan on Smackdown. I really don’t get why this is supposed to be a big deal.

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

Daniel Bryan gets to be guest referee. They trade power to start but Bryan stops him from throwing a punch. Remember that Sheamus is on the referee probation. Henry runs Sheamus over and covers with Bryan counting the pin in less than a second, ending it at 1:36.

Post match Sheamus goes after Bryan but has to kick Henry’s head off first. He takes Sheamus’ knee out and kicks him in the head before putting on the YES Lock.

Brodus/Horny vs. Ziggler/Swagger later on has its own sponsor: Taco Bell.

Back from a break Sheamu

s thinks Bryan is a coward and a snake in the grass. He’s going to get the same treatment that the snakes in Ireland got, but Sheamus is no saint. I like Sheamus A LOT more (which is saying a lot as he might be my favorite wrestler right now) when he has some adversity instead of just plowing over everyone.

Primo/Epico vs. Zach Ryder/Santino Marella

Ryder and Epico start things off with Zach taking over with an armbar. He sends Epico into the corner and hits the boot but Rosa distracts him from hitting the Rough Ryder. Out to the floor and Ryder gets sent into the post which gets one in the ring. The champs hammer away on him but Primo misses a springboard flip dive, allowing the hot tag to Santino. He loads up the Cobra as Ryder takes out Epico. Primo dropkicks Santino down but Santino backflips to his feet and the Cobra gets the pin at 3:18. It was stupid but I found it funny so that’s all that matters.

Rating: C-. I have no idea what to think of this. On one hand I’m glad Ryder isn’t getting destroyed by another main event guy, but at the same time the tag titles are about as valuable as the CWF Bahamanian Title right now. Then again, the titles have been dead for a long time now so I think it’s excusable.

Kane sneaks into the freezer and gets Paul out. Paul thanks him for saving him, but Kane shoves him back in again. Ok then.

Epico and Primo are arguing when Abraham Washington comes in and wants to know why they’re being treated like jokes who can’t get on Wrestlemania or can’t get an entrance. He gives them his card and they seem interested.

Brodus Clay/Hornswoggle vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger

This is presented by Taco Bell. Whatever pays the bills. Horny starts with Swagger before it’s off to Dolph. He stands on Horny’s head but Horny comes back with a headscissors. Off to Brodus vs. Swagger and the fat dancing dinosaur from another planet runs over the All American Hitler Youth. Vickie comes in for the DQ at 1:55.

Horny, the dancers and Brodus surround her but she goes to get Brodus’ hat and puts it on Clay’s head. Horny bites her and that’s it.

Lesnar headlined Mania 19. His concussion isn’t mentioned or shown.

Here’s the rest of the interview with Brock last week.

Ace comes out to run the contract signing. Brock comes out to a decent pop. And there’s no Cena. Lesnar calls him out but there’s still no Cena. Brock gets in Ace’s face a bit but says that he needs to talk about why Brock was late earlier today. He asks Ace to sit down and talk about some changes that Lesnar wants and needs. Since he’s been back, he’s not happy with how things are going.

Brock has some demands/requests that Ace is going to have to sign off on them. He has a copy of those changes that have to go through before Sunday, preferably right now or he’s not signing to face Cena. Brock says he’s not a naive farm boy like he was eight years ago. Instead he knows this company needs him. If he’s going to be the face of the company, he wants all of Ace’s ideas run by him first. He wants Vince’s private jet to and from the venues for Raw.

Beating people up makes him happy, so when he got he got here and had to deal with what he hates, that being stupid people, he beat someone up. He’ll show up on Raw when and how he wants. Ace can’t fine Brock like he did Sheamus and Brock wants more money also. Until those demands are met, there’s no match on Sunday. Oh and the show needs to be called Monday Night Raw Starring Brock Lesnar. Ace shakes his hand and says he agrees to those terms. Brock signs and here comes Cena.

Cena has the chain and the lock around his neck. I think this is Serious Cena. He has the chain in his hand now and looks at the contract but doesn’t sign it yet. Cena looks at it again but still won’t sign. Lesnar taunts him and Cena takes the contract out of the folder. Brock says he likes the feeling he’s getting from Cena because it feels like it’s real.

He says Cena is scared and that he’s the reason Cena lost last week. He keeps saying Cena is scared which makes Cena sign. Cena has the right hand with the chain cocked back and Brock has his hand cocked as well. There goes the table but Brock smiles and shakes his finger no. Cena never said a word. Brock leaves to a ton of booing for the first time since he’s been back. And we’re done with a 15 minute overrun.

Overall Rating: B. I liked this show as it felt like a go home show. Instead of your usual stuff, we got a lot of solid build to the major matches. Why was it solid? BECAUSE IT WASN’T ALL THE SAME! They mixed stuff up, like with the two world title matches. It’s so refreshing to see something different like that instead of the same stuff time after time.

Results
Chris Jericho b. Kofi Kingston – Walls of Jericho
Lord Tensai b. R-Truth – Claw Hold
Big Show/Great Khali b. Cody Rhodes/Alberto Del Rio – Chokeslam to Rhodes
Nikki Bella b. Beth Phoenix – Rollup
Mark Henry b. Sheamus – Clothesline
Zach Ryder/Santino Marella b. Epico/Primo – Cobra to Primo
Brodus Clay/Hornswoggle b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler via DQ when Vickie Guerrero interfered

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