Monday Night Raw – March 28, 1994: Wake Up Already
IMG Credit: WWE
Monday Night Raw Date: March 28, 1994 Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Cornette
We’re still in the aftermath of Wrestlemania X and things almost have to be better this time around than they were last week. Granted I’ve said that before but it hasn’t been the case yet. The big match for the week is Lex Luger vs. Rick Martel so my hopes aren’t exactly at their highest. Let’s get to it.
Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.
Earlier today, Ted DiBiase bought some front row seats from fans for $100 each. Not the worst deal in the world when you’re a third of the way through the tapings.
Opening sequence.
Rick Martel vs. Lex Luger
Cornette goes into a rant about his microphone not working, somehow making that entertaining as well. Martel starts by hiding in the corner with Cornette saying that Luger is such a typical American. The threat of a right hand sends Martel running again (Dude, not in the face!) so Liger goes with a hiptoss instead, this time with Martel bailing to the floor. We look at the commentary table and it turns out that DiBiase is sitting behind them, counting his money of course. That’s the kind of thing that made him work so well and still does all these years later.
Lex’s headlock takeover as Cornette goes into a rant about how awesome the University of Louisville basketball team is this year. Well to be fair he’s supposed to be a heel. Martel fights up and is almost immediately headlocked right back down. Back up again and Martel gets knocked outside as we take a break. We come back with Martel getting in some kicks to the ribs in the corner and scoring off a clothesline.
The chinlock goes on because we haven’t spent enough time in a hold on the mat. Thankfully it doesn’t last as long….and Martel puts it right back on. Well of course he does. A snap off the ropes sets up the third chinlock as Vince says Cornette should have been the guest referee at Wrestlemania. That might have been even more perfect, just for the comedy alone.
Martel finally goes up but dives into a shot to the ribs. Luger tries a dropkick (!) but Martel grabs the rope and Luger crashes, mainly because HE HAS NO BUSINESS TRYING A DROPKICK. A suplex doesn’t get Luger very far due to his back so he goes with the right hands instead. The powerslam sets up the Rack to finish Martel.
Rating: D-. I know older wrestlers say there’s too much action today but then you have matches like this, with nearly half of the action on TV being spent in headlocks and chinlocks. You can call it psychology or whatever you want, but that’s not interesting to see or advancing any kind of a story. It’s laying on the mat and acting like it’s worthwhile. Once every now and then is fine but over and over is ridiculous.
Owen Hart says he can beat anyone.
Owen Hart vs. Mike Freeman
Yeah I’d say he’s included on that anyone list. The fans want Bret but we cut to DiBiase saying everyone has a price. Tonight he bought these three seats, but he’s got some surprises coming in the next few weeks. Back in the ring, Owen finally chokes Freeman on the ropes a bit and throws him down by the hair. That’s rather heelish of him.
Vince compares Wrestlemania to the Super Bowl and the boxing pay per views (ok fair enough in some cases) and Owen takes him down by the arm. A dropkick keeps Freeman in trouble as they’re taking their time with the squash here. Freeman charges into a boot in the corner and the Sharpshooter finishes him off.
Rating: D. A bit longer than it needed to be but the point was getting Owen on the show, which is the right idea after he beat Bret so recently. Just keeping him on TV makes sense, as you can tell he’s going to be in the World Title picture rather soon. Freeman was a pretty lame jobber though, as he was just kind of there without putting up even a token opposition. At least put in some effort.
Doink the Clown vs. Eric Cody
Doink squirts DiBiase with a flower on his way to the ring for a funny reaction. Cody is sent outside to start as this whole wrestling things seems to frustrate him. Cornette goes on an anti-New York rant as Vince wishes Reba McIntyre a happy birthday. Somehow they talk about her singing a song about Wrestlemania but don’t mention her singing America the Beautiful back at Wrestlemania VIII.
Doink pulls Cody down by the arm and Dink runs in to step on Cody’s chest. Cornette: “I can whip any midget and anyone under the age of 12!” Cody isn’t happy (as he shouldn’t be, as most clowns aren’t funny) so Doink takes the unhappy man down into an armbar. The Whoopee Cushion puts him out of his misery.
Rating: D. Face Doink was just such a mess as they went with the comedy instead of something interesting. To be fair though, you kind of knew that was where they were going at some point. Cornette was hilarious here though, with him going into the ranting and raving as only he could do. Well he and Bobby Heenan but that goes without saying.
Cornette brings in the Quebecers and Johnny Polo for a chat. Last week they were challenged by Captain Lou Albano….and here he is pretty soon after the champs arrive. Jacques: “What do you want Captain Crunch?” The challenge is accepted and Albano has a team. He leaves and comes back with the Headshrinkers and Afa, sending Johnny into a frenzy. Johnny: “Not those guys! They could beat us!”
The Quebecers were thinking more along the line of Men on a Mission or the Bushwhackers and Albano threatens them with the wrath of Jack Tunney if they don’t accept. More on this later, but the Headshrinkers are a good team so this should be fine. If nothing else, I’d pay to hear Polo and Albano yell at each other for ten minutes a week.
1-2-3 Kid vs. Black Phantom
The Phantom is masked and would be better known as Gangrel. Kid works a headlock to start but gets hiptossed for a break. The announcers talk about Rush Limbaugh’s salary as Kid snapmares him down for the running legdrop. The spinwheel kick gets two and the top rope spinning crossbody finishes the Phantom in a hurry.
Crush vs. Ray Hudson
Nikolai Volkoff is in the front row in his brown suit. Cornette spends the time quoting the Rolling Stones as Crush slowly chops away. A neck snap and a superkick allow Crush to strike some martial arts poses. There’s a gorilla press and a knee drop for the pin. For Crush that is.
Rating: D. Another boring squash in a series of them after Wrestlemania. Crush’s martial arts poses were the most entertaining things about the match, assuming you don’t include the Stones stuff. After the Savage loss, there wasn’t much left for Crush to do as he was really just a big lackey.
A highlight package takes us out. Did something just go short?
Overall Rating: D-. Egads they’re in a bad funk as the only good thing to be seen was Owen winning to continue his momentum. In theory they’re just waiting for the big stuff to happen but that doesn’t seem to be the case anytime soon. I’m guess Shawn Michaels and Razor Ramon are just getting a night off after the big ladder match, but you can really feel their absences.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
Starrcade 1987
Date: November 26, 1987
Location: UIC Pavilion, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jim Ross
The main event here is a cage match between NWA World Champion Ronnie Garvin and Ric Flair. Garvin won the title a few weeks back with the sole purpose of losing it to Flair here. In a logic that I’ll never understand, everyone else said no except for Garvin because no one else wanted to be a lame duck World Champion. Other than the Garvin vs. Flair title match, the other major match is the Road Warriors facing the Horsemen (Arn and Tully) for the tag titles in the Warriors’ hometown of Chicago. Let’s get to it.
We open with an intro sequence that looks like it’s out of a bad 1980s sitcom. It’s a bunch of headshots of the wrestlers with bad music in the background.
The arena looks huge but very smoky.
Sting/Jimmy Garvin/Michael Hayes vs. Eddie Gilbert/Larry Zbyszko/Rick Steiner
This is right after Jim Crockett acquired the UWF, so a lot of these guys are making their big time debuts. Gilbert was a big deal back there, as was Hayes. Sting didn’t mean anything at this point, but he would have his day very soon. He had recently left Gilbert’s stable in the UWF so they have a built in feud already. Steiner jumps Sting to start but misses a charge and falls to the floor. Sting dives out onto him as the lighting is really bad here. It looks like the lights haven’t been turned all the way on.
As they head back in, Sting hits a missile dropkick as everything breaks down. Sting’s team clears the ring until we get down to Hayes vs. Steiner. Michael pounds on the arm for a bit and it’s off to Garvin. Michael and Jimmy would wind up as a tag team in a few years but here’s they’re just randomly paired together. Off to Larry to fight Garvin and it’s time to stall already. Larry was legendary for stalling and it drove a lot of people crazy, myself included.
Back to Hayes who grabs Larry by the nose and pounds away. Michael struts and moon walks to get the crowd fired up as it’s off to Gilbert. Hayes avoids a right hand and struts some more before sending Eddie into the corner. Back to Sting as things speed up a bit, but at this point he’s not capable of carrying a match on his own. Sting grabs an armbar on Steiner and it’s off to Garvin for more basic offense on Rick.
Steiner takes him into the heel corner and it’s off to Larry for a spinning kick to Garvin’s ribs. A powerslam gets two for Rick and it’s off to Gilbert for an atomic drop. Gilbert stays on the back for a bit but misses an elbow drop. It’s not enough for the tag out though as Steiner comes in for the save. Off to a bearhug to further the punishment on Garvin’s back but Jimmy fights out. Larry saves another hot tag and puts on an abdominal stretch. Garvin finally hiptosses his way out of it and it’s off to Sting to pick up the pace.
Everything breaks down but Gilbert comes in with a cheap shot to the back to take Sting down. Eddie sends him out to the floor for a bit before throwing him back in for some triple teaming. It doesn’t seem to do much good as Sting counters a Zbyzsko suplex, only to be stopped by Steiner.
Sting avoids a charge from Larry and it’s off to Hayes with less than two minutes to go in the time limit. Everything breaks down and the good guys all pound away on a bad guy in a different corner. The DDT gets two for Hayes on Larry but he’s in the ropes. One minute to go as Steiner breaks up a sleeper on Larry. Steiner comes in legally for a bearhug of all things before turning it into a belly to belly suplex. Everything breaks down again and the time runs out with no winner.
Rating: C. This was probably the best opener the series has had yet and it’s very obvious that that’s not saying much. The main idea here was to introduce most of these people to the Jim Crockett audience and it only worked to a degree. Steiner actually came off looking the most polished here, but Hayes would have the immediate success. Sting would be several months away from his big break.
UWF Title: Steve Williams vs. Barry Windham
As mentioned, this is the final days of the title as it would be retired the next month. Williams is defending and is basically the Brock Lesnar of the 1980s: an All-American football player and a top level collegiate wrestler who looked and wrestled like a monster. If nothing else he has an awesome nickname of Dr. Death. Windham was considered the future of the company and potentially the business at this point, regularly tearing the house down with Flair everywhere they went. He’s also the Western States Heritage Champion, which might be the most worthless title in wrestling history.
We start with a crisscross before Williams throws Windham down and presses him over his head with ease. Considering Windham is 6’6, that’s rather impressive. Jim Ross LOVES Oklahoma so he’s a big time fanboy for Williams here. Windham tries to take it to the mat but can’t do anything with a wrestler the quality of Williams. Instead they take it to the floor and it’s a standoff. Back in and Williams easily suplexes out of a headlock, so Windham muscles him over with a gutwrench suplex of his own.
Williams puts on a headlock and Barry suplexes him down but this time the hold isn’t broken. It shifts into a chinlock but Barry shakes him off. They’re still in first gear here. They trade go behinds and Williams tries a leapfrog but Barry accidentally headbutts him very low. Barry stands around instead of going in for the kill and even stops the referee from counting Williams down.
Steve walks around holding his groin as the stalling continues. Windham finally takes him down with a headlock so Williams counters into a headscissors. That’s good for another standoff followed by a missed flying something from Barry, sending him over the top and onto the announce table. Back in and Williams grabs a quick rolling cradle to retain.
Rating: D. This was nothing and you can’t really blame the injury for it. They were looking terrible before the accidental headbutt and after that it somehow fell apart even more. I’m not sure what was going on here as these two are WAY too talented to have such a horrible match. To this day I’m confused by this match.
Rock N Roll Express vs. Midnight Express
This is another Skywalkers (scaffold) match which is an odd choice for these guys. These two teams redefined tag team wrestling with their incredible series of matches, so the company decides to put them in a match with no wrestling involved in it at all? The Midnights are the now Bobby Eaton and Stan Lane and they’re the US Tag Team Champions but this is non-title. They also have Cornette and Bubba with them.
Both teams are skeptical to go up but after over a minute and a half of waiting, everyone goes up top. Actually scratch that as Bubba pulls Morton down as he’s climbing and spikes him down onto the mat to give the Midnights a two on one advantage. Bubba tries to climb up as well but Morton gets up and steals Cornette’s tennis racket. A few shots to the back keeps Bubba down and Morton climbs up, still holding the racket. Eaton gets whacked a few times as well as the fighting really gets going.
Morton knocks Eaton around with the racket as Gibson pounds on Lane on the other end of the scaffold. Eaton busts out his trusty powder to blind Ricky and now Gibson is double teamed. Ricky gets the tennis racket back to stagger Bobby with as all four guys head back to the ends of the scaffold. Eaton drops the racket to the mat as Lane climbs under the scaffold.
Cornette throws the racket up to Eaton again so he can pound on Robert’s back. Morton heads under the scaffold to get at Stan, eventually kicking him down to the mat. Eaton and Gibson are up top still though until Ricky goes up too. The Rock N Roll finally knocks him down over the edge and down to the mat for the win. I know the ending sounds sudden but there really isn’t much else to it than that.
Rating: D+. Just like last year, what can you really expect from a match like this? They can’t do much without risking a very serious injury but you don’t want the fans to be bored out of their minds either. These guys had some of the best tag team matches ever when they were on the ground floor and I have no idea why they were given this gimmick of all things.
Post match Bubba goes up to fight Morton on the top, but, I kid you not, Morton points off in the distance to distract Bubba, allowing Morton to kick him in the groin and climb down. Ricky steals Bubba’s hat and coat for good measure.
NWA TV Title/UWF TV Title: Nikita Koloff vs. Terry Taylor
This is a unification match between the two Television Titles. Taylor has Eddie Gilbert with him as backup. Taylor grabs a headlock to start but is easily run over by a shoulder block. They head to the corner and amazingly enough we get a clean break. We go to another corner and Taylor tries a cheap shot, only to get punched in the face by Nikita. Taylor cranks on the arm so Nikita sticks his tongue out at him and puts on an armbar of his own.
Terry headbutts out of the hold but Nikita rams him shoulder first into the buckle. More right hands have no effect at all and Nikita cranks away on the wristlock into a hammerlock. Koloff muscles him down into a cover but Taylor makes the ropes and heads outside. Back in and Taylor talks some trash, earning himself a slap in the face. A backdrop gets two on Terry and its time for more stalling on the floor.
Nikita gets tired of waiting and pulls Taylor back in so he can put the hammerlock right back on. After a rope breaks saves Taylor, he pounds on Nikita in the corner but misses an elbow drop. Back to the armbar which has dominated this match so far. They get back up again and Taylor pounds away, only to be choked to the mat. The Russian Sickle misses though and Nikita charges into the buckle. They head outside with Taylor ramming Nikita’s shoulder into the post to take over.
The match slows down a lot as Taylor’s offense isn’t exactly suited to beat on someone like Koloff. He stays on the arm but can’t bring Nikita down into a sunset flip. Koloff blocks a suplex and takes the smaller guy down with a suplex of his own. Nikita has enough of the pounding and fights back with a bunch of right hands in the corner. Taylor comes out with an atomic drop to get two of his own and Koloff’s momentum is stopped cold.
A rollup gets two for Nikita as the fans are finally starting to get into the match. Terry loads up a piledriver but gets backdropped down and punched in the face. They head to the floor again but Gilbert hits Koloff in the knee to give Nikita control again. Off to a figure four on the Russian which gets a few near falls (the figure four can be used as a pin if the guy in the hold doesn’t raise his arms). Koloff finally gets the ropes and beats up Gilbert before hitting the Sickle on Taylor for the pin and the titles.
Rating: D+. This didn’t work for me. It was nearly twenty minutes long and way too much of that was spent in a hammerlock. I’ve never been a fan of Taylor but at least Koloff was there with the hard hitting stuff to make things somewhat interesting. This wasn’t terrible but it was too long and dull for what it was worth.
Tag Titles: Arn Anderson/Tully Blanchard vs. Road Warriors
The Warriors are challenging in their hometown of Chicago. Arn and Hawk start things off with Hawk taking him down via a top wristlock. Anderson is sent to the floor for a staredown with the Warriors’ manager Paul Ellering. Off to Tully who is almost immediately sent to the floor. Animal will have none of this stalling though and sends him right back inside. Hawk pounds away even more and hits a dropkick for a quick near fall.
Off to Animal who catches Blanchard coming in off the top in a powerslam for another two count. Arn comes back in and manages to avoid a charge in the corner, only to have his head taken off by a clothesline from Animal. Blanchard tries to come in but gets punched right in the jaw as well. Both Horsemen try to go after Hawk, only to get clotheslined down for a near fall on Blanchard. Total dominance by the Warriors so far.
Back to Animal for a bearhug plus a right hand from Hawk. Animal drops Tully down and Blanchard goes bailing to the corner. A dropkick to the ribs puts Blanchard down again so he tags in Anderson. Animal has to chase Arn on the floor before coming back inside to gorilla press him down. A press slam on Tully by Hawk is broken up by Arn hitting Hawk in the knee and the Horsemen FINALLY take over.
Tully adds in a chair shot to Hawk’s knee on the floor and a DDT gets two for Arn back in the ring. Blanchard’s figure four is countered into a small package so Tully pounds on the knee a bit more instead. Arn’s spinning toehold is broken up but here’s Tully again for the figure four. For some reason he tags in Anderson with Hawk still in the hold, and it’s Anderson who gets crotched to allow the hot tag to Animal. Everything breaks down and Tully accidentally knocks the referee to the floor before Hawk throws Anderson the floor. Back in and there’s the Doomsday Device on Arn for the pin and the titles.
Rating: C. This took awhile to get going but once the Road Warriors got rolling it got awesome in a hurry. They’re such a physical and dominant team that it’s almost impossible to not get fired up watching them. The leg work here by the Horsemen was much more interesting than say the arm work by Taylor, as they have the size and ability to make you believe the Warriors were in trouble.
Oh and scratch that title change because Anderson was thrown over the top, meaning the Warriors are disqualified and the Horsemen keep the belts. Say it with me: Dusty Finish. The fans boo this out of the building and with good reason. Who does this help? The Warriors look inept because they didn’t get the win, the Horsemen look like weak champions because they got pinned, and the fans are mad because at STARRCADE we can’t change the belts. Just a dumb idea all around.
US Title: Lex Luger vs. Dusty Rhodes
Luger is defending and if he wins, Dusty is suspended for ninety days. This is also inside of a cage. Luger had recently turned on Dusty to join the Horsemen, angering the fat man. Legend Johnny Weaver has the key at ringside. They circle each other as Dusty pretends to have a physique to match Luger, who would be a guest performer on some bodybuilding shows a few years after this. Both guys seem tentative to start things off here. Luger pounds away to start but misses his big jumping elbow. Dusty goes to an armbar and pounds an elbow into the shoulder. The armbar stays on for a LONG time, as per Dusty’s custom.
Luger finally pushes him into the corner….but it’s right back to the armbar. Rhodes pounds on the arm in the shoulder but takes a knee to the fat stomach to put him down. Dusty goes face first into the cage and we’ve got some blood on the challenger’s head. A clothesline gets two for Luger and the beating begins. The big jumping elbow gets two on Dusty but Luger takes too long, allowing Dusty to hit a HORRIBLE dropkick to put both guys down.
Lex can’t quite Rack (his finisher is the Human Torture Rack, meaning he puts Dusty over his shoulders and bends Dusty’s back around Luger’s own neck) Dusty so he pounds away instead. Now it’s off to an armbar on Dusty to take him down, despite Luger spending the entire match working on the back so far. They get back up and a pull of Dusty’s hair takes him right back down. Luger pounds away in the corner and Dusty just stands there without reacting at all.
Instead he flips Luger off and pounds away before hitting a bad DDT to put both guys down again. Off to a sleeper by Rhodes with him jumping on Luger’s back for good measure. JJ Dillon, Luger’s manager, blasts Weaver with a chair before throwing said chair into the cage. Lex escapes the hold and spends a LONG time bending over to pick up the chair, allowing Dusty to “DDT” him onto the chair for the pin and the title.
Rating: D. This sucked for the most part, as Dusty spent WAY too much time laying around on the mat before we had that really lame ending. There’s no reason for Dusty to win this title other than he was the booker and decided he wanted it, especially given how Luger was the future of the company at this point. Terrible match with a bad looking finish to top it off here.
NWA World Title: Ric Flair vs. Ron Garvin
This is also in a cage with Garvin defending, having won the world title in September and then basically disappearing for two months because no one wanted to job to a guy who was going to lose the title in a few months anyway. Flair gets a tremendous ovation while Garvin is pretty much booed out of the midwest. They chop it out to start with Flair losing as it’s early in the match. We get the Flair Flop followed by a backdrop by the champion into an armbar.
Garvin pounds away in the corner with ten punches and Flair is in trouble. With Flair down we get the Garvin Stomp, meaning Garvin stomps in a circle, hitting every limb and culminating with the head. Flair wins a slugout but hits Garvin low to take him down. An atomic drop has flair in even more trouble and a big knee drop gets two on the champion. It’s time to go after the leg and just a few seconds later it’s off to the Figure Four. Flair cheats by using the ropes but Garvin finally turns the hold over, leading to a break.
Back up and the champion blocks a shot into the cage. He blocks a second one and manages to send Flair into the cage a few times in a row. Flair has his forehead raked across the cage before tasting the steel again. Garvin bites Flair’s head to bust him open as they go to the top rope. Flair falls down before getting some hard chops in the corner from Garvin. After an elbow to the head, Ric goes up but gets slammed down as per his custom. Garvin puts on his own figure four but Flair makes the ropes pretty quickly.
Ron rams him into the cage and gets two off a top rope cross body and the same off a backslide. The fans are starting to get into this a bit. More chops have Flair in trouble and they go up top again. Ric gets crotched on the top rope and Garvin tries the top rope sunset flip which won him the title a few months ago. This time though Flair falls forward and grabs the ropes for two. Garvin pounds away in the corner but Flair shoves him off and crushes the referee. Ron hits his big right hand for two and sends Garvin into the cage for the pin and the title.
Rating: C+. It’s not a bad match, but at the end of the day no one bought Garvin as having a change to hold the title here. Flair winning the title back isn’t really a big moment but the reaction from the fans was odd, given that Ric was the big face here. Garvin would never come close to this point again, which he likely shouldn’t have.
Overall Rating: D. This just didn’t work. It’s not a horrible show, but at the same time there’s nothing on here worth looking at whatsoever. The best match is probably the main event and that’s just ok at best. There’s just nothing to see here at all and the fans didn’t care either. The WWF dominated this night by having almost every cable provider air their far better show. Just not a good show, although it’s still better than 1984 by far.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
Summerslam 1993 Date: August 30, 1993
Location: Palace of Auburn Hills, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 23,954
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan
A lot has changed in the last year. Bret won the WWF Title about three months after the last Summerslam but lost it at Wrestlemania to the monster Yokozuna. Yoko went on a path of destruction through the WWF over the summer, but it was WCW signee Lex Luger who stood up for the USA on the 4th of July in a body slam challenge and is challenging for the title tonight. Hogan is gone, so America’s hopes rest on Luger. Let’s get to it.
We see Luger’s Lex Express bus arriving earlier today. Luger had gone around the country in a bus to get fan support for the match against Yokozuna. Why he didn’t stay in the WWF and win matches to get a title shot is beyond me.
Ted DiBiase vs. Razor Ramon
The match starts fast as DiBiase jumps Razor coming in. Razor comes back with a quick backdrop and a slam, sending DiBiase running to the floor. Back in and DiBiase takes it into the corner for some chops, only to be reversed on a whip and clotheslined out to the floor again. Razor pulls him back in but Ted chokes away on the top rope. I love basic heel moves like that. You never see those anymore because it’s all about attitude or whatever nonsense WWE tells you now.
Heenan makes jokes about the 1-2-3 Kid, who recently defeated Ramon and triggered his face turn. A clothesline gets two for DiBiase and it’s off to the chinlock. It’s clear that DiBiase is WAY past his prime here but his prime was so good that this is still totally watchable. Razor’s arms stay up on the third drop but DiBiase takes him back down with a swinging neckbreaker. Ted sends him to the floor and rips off a turnbuckle pad, only to be sent into it himself. The Razor’s Edge is good for the pin.
Rating: C-. Not much to see here but DiBiase was nothing more than a jobber to the stars by now anyway. This would actually be the last match in the WWF for DiBiase as he would do a quick run in Japan before retiring by the beginning of the year. The match wasn’t bad but it could have been the main event of any episode of Raw.
Todd Petingill interviews some of the Steiners’ relatives as we’re in their hometown. The sister calls Rick by his real name of Rob here.
Tag Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Heavenly Bodies
Jim Cornette manages the challengers, who are Jimmy Del Ray and Tom Pritchard. This is part of the cross promotion with SMW. Heenan sings Cornette’s praises, which was how Cornette got over as a heel. He had debuted not long before this and Heenan immediately hugged him. Since Heenan was a heel and Cornette was a friend of his, Cornette was instantly hated. No shades of gray, no thought to it, just basic heel work. I miss stuff like that so much.
The Bodies jump the champions and send Scott out to the floor early on. A double flapjack puts Rick down and Scott is knocked back to the floor, but the Bodies spend too much time double teaming. All four are in now with the Steiners cleaning house to the delight of the crowd. I’m sure it has nothing to do with them wearing University of Michigan colors. A tilt-a-whirl slam (called a suplex by Vince) puts Del Ray down and the Steiners stand tall.
We officially start with Pritchard vs. Scott and Tom is slammed down in a BIG gorilla press. A backdrop puts Del Ray down and it’s off to Rick vs. Pritchard. Rick cleans house with Steiner Lines to send the challengers to the floor. Back in the and the Bodies finally start cheating, allowing Pritchard to hit an enziguri to send Scott to the floor, followed by a Del Ray moonsault press to wipe Scott out.
Back in and Del Ry hits a Rocky Maivia spinning DDT but doesn’t cover like the schnook that he is. Heenan has the match 1112-9 in favor of the Bodies. A powerslam gets two for Del Ray and Cornette jabs Scott in the throat with his tennis racket. Scott finally comes back with a belly to belly out of nowhere and makes the hot tag to Rick.
Everyone gets Steiner Lines (Heenan: “Mrs. Steiner just gave her daughter a Steiner Line!”) but the top rope bulldog only gets two on Del Ray thanks to a save. Cornette throws in the racket but a shot to Rick’s back is only good for two. Del Ray misses a moonsault and the Frankensteiner retains the belts.
Rating: C+. This was as by the book of a tag team match as you can get but it was still good stuff. I don’t think anyone cared about the Heavenly Bodies but that’s where a good manager like Cornette can come in handy: the fans are going to boo anyone he’s out there with, including a tag team who never did anything of note in the WWF.
A new interviewer named Joe Fowler (he didn’t last long) is with Shawn and Diesel, with the former saying he’s the best IC Champion ever. Diesel says he’s there to keep the chicks off the champ. Fowler wasn’t bad actually.
Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Shawn Michaels
Shawn is defending. This match was literally months in the making with the WWF basically saying “this is going to be the match of the year, guaranteed.” To continue the theme of things that just aren’t the same today, Perfect is trying to become the first three time IC Champion. We also have Radio WWF with JR and Gorilla Monsoon doing commentary. Wrestling used to be broadcast on the radio back in the day, with legendary sportscaster Bob Costas doing commentary at one point.
Shawn easily takes it down to start but Perfect snapmares him down as well. Perfect takes over with an armdrag and drives some knees into the arm. Shawn comes back with a headlock out of the corner but Perfect avoids an elbow and we have a stalemate. Some LOUD chops in the corner snap Shawn’s head back and a clothesline turns him inside out for two. Back to the armbar on the champion but Shawn escapes and goes up top, only to dive into an armdrag.
Perfect puts on another armbar before catapulting Shawn out to the floor in a great crash. Perfect goes to the floor but has to stare at Diesel, giving Shawn an opening for the yet to be named Sweet Chin Music. Shawn hits an ax handle of the apron to Perfect’s back before heading back inside to drop knees onto the back. A hard whip into the corner puts Perfect down again and Shawn drops down onto Perfect’s back.
Off to a backbreaker with Shawn bending Perfect’s back over Shawn’s knee. A stiff right hand gets Perfect out and a running dropkick puts Shawn down again. Perfect gets two off an atomic drop before countering a backslide into the PerfectPlex, only to have Diesel pull the leg for the save. Diesel gets punched in the face before both guys brawl on the floor. Shawn slides back in to distract the referee, allowing Diesel to post Perfect for the countout.
Rating: C. This was ok and nothing higher than that. The ending was lame and the match was a bunch of arm/back work with no heat segment or drama at all. It was a one off match that collapsed under the weight that the company put on it by saying it would be a classic and all that jazz. Not much to see here.
Perfect gets beaten down post match with Shawn claiming to be the best ever. Perfect gives chase and catches up with Shawn during an interview with Gene. The fight winds up being Perfect vs. Diesel in a match I don’t think ever happened, unless it was on some random Raw or Superstars.
1-2-3 Kid is nervous for his PPV debut.
I.R.S. vs. 1-2-3 Kid
The Kid is relatively new at this point, having shocked the world by beating Razor Ramon in May. He also beat IRS’ partner DiBiase recently so IRS is here for revenge and to stop the Kid’s lucky streak. The Kid is launched into the air and bounces off the mat for early control but he dropkicks IRS out of the air on a second attempt. Nice psychology there, but IRS knocks him to the floor a few seconds later.
Kid comes back in with a sunset flip for two but gets caught in an abdominal stretch to drag the match out even longer. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Kid takes him to the corner for some kicks and a moonsault press for two. A side roll gets two as Heenan is losing his mind. Kid dropkicks him down for two more, but IRS hits a flying clothesline for the pin out of nowhere.
Rating: D. What in the world was that? The Kid had been undefeated since May and you have him lose to a jobber to the stars in IRS? I don’t get the thinking here at all and it would continue to make little sense as the Kid would only lose one more singles match this year, and not again until next June. Yet he loses to IRS here? I don’t get it.
Owen and Bruce Hart say their dad is at home recovering from knee surgery but they’re here to support Bret.
Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler
This is the blowoff to a MAJOR feud which started at the King of the Ring. Bret won the tournament but Jerry attacked him during the coronation, saying he was the only real king in professional wrestling. Jerry comes to the ring on crutches with a big ice pack on his knee. He claims an injury from a car wreck (going into hilarious detail about a blue haired lady causing a ten car pileup) so Bret’s new opponent is the court jester.
Bret Hart vs. Doink the Clown
This is evil Doink, meaning he’s AWESOME. Doink comes out carrying two buckets, one of which contains confetti to throw at the fans. The other is full of water which is thrown on Bruce Hart in the old Harlem Globetrotters trick. Bret jumps Doink on the floor and we get things going inside. Doink is punched back to the floor before he can even get his jacket off before Hart sends him into the post. Heenan talks about how Lawler was in an 18 car pileup, crawled out of the car and into a school bus, saved 40 kids from the bus and bought them all hamburgers before coming to the arena tonight. Vince’s stunned reaction is great.
Doink gets in a shot and goes up, only to be crotched on the buckle. Heenan: “He’s been de-Doinked!” Bret offers Lawler a chance to come in before dropping Doink with an atomic drop. Another Lawler distraction lets Doink hit a knee to the back before sending Bret into the steps. Doink starts working on the leg and wraps it around the post with Lawler cheering him on.
The Clown puts on an STF and Heenan swears Bret gave up. Doink transitions into a lame chinlock before putting on a stump puller (you sit the other guy down and push his head down while pulling up on a leg) to stay on the leg and neck. Bret comes back with a right and the Five Moves of Doom. He hooks the Sharpshooter but Lawler runs into the ring and breaks the crutch over Bret’s back for the DQ.
Rating: C+. The match was your usual good Bret match when he had a good opponent to work against. Lawler pretending to be injured is the perfect action for him as he’s such a slimy coward most of the time. The Bret vs. Lawler feud had incredible heat to it as the fans wanted to see Lawler get beaten up…….and then there’s this.
President Jack Tunney stops Lawler in the aisle and says get in the ring right now.
Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler
Bret blasts him in the head with one of Doink’s buckets before the bell. They head inside and Bret immediately pounds Lawler down and gets in a crutch shot for good measure. Lawler gets in a crutch shot to the throat and chokes away as the referee (ECW’s Bill Alfonzo) is trying to restrain the Hart Brothers.
Bret gets crotched against the post, allowing Lawler to tell the referee to go yell at the Brothers again. The distraction lets Lawler get in more crutch shots in a classic simple heel move. He stops to tell the booing fans to shut up but Bret is ready to fight. Hart destroys Lawer and even throws in a piledriver before putting on the Sharpshooter for the academic submission. He won’t let go though and the decision is reversed.
Rating: B. The match itself isn’t much from an action standpoint, but the story was perfect (Bret wants revenge) and it’s a short form clinic on how to work a crowd from Lawler. Those subtle things like distracting the referee and sneaking in weapon shots and telling the crowd to shut up are so basic and easy but you NEVER see them today. Today’s writers need to watch some Lawler matches and they’ll learn how to have a crowd eating out of a heel’s hand in no time.
It takes about ten referees plus two Brothers to pull Bret off of Lawler. Bret is told that Lawler is the undisputed King so he goes after Jerry again as Lawler is put on a stretcher. Bruce Hart gets in some shots as well but Lawler is finally wheeled off, raising his arm in victory like the true villain he is.
Unfortunately we never got the planned blowoff to this feud as some 15 year old accused Lawler of rape (she admitted she made the whole thing up and Lawler was acquitted) so the Hart Brothers vs. Jerry and three hired goons at Survivor Series never happened. That’s a shame as the reaction for Lawler being destroyed by the whole family including Stu would have been a sight to behold.
Ludvig Borga is on the streets of Detroit to show us the country that Lex Luger wants to stand up for.
Bret and his brothers say Lawler deserves a broken leg.
Marty Jannetty vs. Ludvig Borga
Borga is basically the original Antonio Cesaro but from Finland. Marty fires away to start but gets punched in the corner by the former boxer. A hard clothesline puts Jannetty down before Borga throws him into the air for an uppercut (much like Cesaro). More punches in the corner have Jannetty in trouble and a clothesline stops his comeback dead. Borga blows his nose on Jannetty before putting on a bearhug. Marty escapes and makes a quick comeback with a pair of superkicks but gets caught in a powerslam and a torture rack for the submission.
Rating: D-. This was one of the lamer squashes I can remember in a long time. Borga looked slow and limited in the ring but the rack looked good. Other than that though, Borga came off as much more flash than substance. He would get better, but at the end of the day he never quite did anything in the company.
Giant Gonzalez vs. Undertaker
This is a Rest in Peace match, which means No DQ and No Countout, or a street fight as we would call it. Gonzalez has been tormenting Undertaker all year and lost to him via DQ at Wrestlemania. Gonzalez is a legit 7’7 and his manager Harvey Whippelman has stolen the Urn. Paul Bearer is absent for reasons that aren’t quite explained. The Giant pounds on Taker to start but Taker comes back with some clotheslines. A single elbow takes the Dead Man down and they head outside with the Giant in control.
Gonzalez hits some of the weakest chair shots you’ll ever see before whipping Taker knees first into the steps. Back in and Undertaker hits some uppercuts but keeps reaching for the Urn. Taker is still down when the gong rings and Paul Bearer makes his return with a black wreath. Whippelman goes after him and gets decked, allowing Paul to get the Urn back. The Giant stares down at him, Undertaker sits up, hits five clotheslines and a sixth frm the top for the pin. Seriously, that’s it.
Rating: G. As in I long for Great Khali. You often hear bad wrestlers said to be as bad as Giant Gonzalez and there’s a good reason for that: the guy is HORRIBLE. I understand the idea of the guy being huge and not needing to do much, but Gonzalez couldn’t do even the most basic stuff without screwing it up. Having seen a good deal of both, I can safely say that Gonzalez makes Great Khali look like Bret Hart.
Post match Harvey turns on Gonzalez and gets laid out.
Cornette says his men have been ripped off all night but that won’t happen when Lex Luger faces his Yokozuna. All those people Luger has seen over the country aren’t going to be able to help him now because it’s just Luger vs. Yokozuna, and the last thing Luger will hear is BANZAI!
Smoking Guns/Tatanka vs. Headshrinkers/Bam Bam Bigelow
Aren’t cowboys and Indians supposed to fight? The heels have Afa and Luna Vachon with them. The Samoans run over the Guns to start and we have Bigelow vs. Tatanka to get us going. Tatanka fires off a shoulder block and a dropkick followed by an impressive backdrop. Both guys try cross bodies and Tatanka actually gets the better of it. For a gimmick wrestler Tatanka had some good success around this time.
A double tag brings in Billy vs. Fatu (Rikishi) with the Samoan hitting a quick superkick. Billy comes back with a top rope clothesline as Vince tells us Billy went to college on a rodeo scholarship. That actually exists? Another superkick from Samu knocks Billy into the tag to Bart who is slammed face first into the mat for his troubles. Bigelow comes in with a dropkick for two before it’s back to Fatu for a wicked powerslam. The Samoans take turns double teaming Bart with headbutts and chops as the heat segment goes on for a good while.
Bigelow misses a charge and hits the post, allowing Bart to make the hot tag off to Tatanka. The Indian chops every heel in sight and takes Bigelow down with a DDT and a high cross body for two. Tatanka goes on the war path but walks into an enziguri from Bam Bam. Sometimes there’s no better solution than to kick a guy in the head. Everything breaks down and Tatanka is left all alone against the three monsters. A TRIPLE HEADBUTT puts Tatanka down and all three go up for a triple flying headbutt, but Tatanka rolls away and rolls up Samu for the pin.
Rating: B-. Where in the world did this come from??? This was a shockingly good tag match with everyone moving fast and some great looking spots from Bigelow. Tatanka was one of those guys that the fans just liked and there’s no way you can fake that. Good stuff here and a very nice surprise.
To fill in time, we talk to Luger’s bus driver. The guy is so valuable he gets to sit in the bus and watch the show on a monitor. He talks about how great Luger is and how he visited a bunch of kids.
Pettingill asks some fans who they like in the main event and the answer is obvious.
Some guy sings the Japanese national anthem.
Randy Savage is master of ceremonies for the main event and comes out with some country singer who sings the American national anthem.
WWF Title: Lex Luger vs. Yokozuna
Remember, this is Luger’s ONE title shot. It’s a long staredown to start before Lex has to knock Mr. Fuji down. Lex starts pounding away but a single shot from the champion puts him down. Luger comes back with more right hands and down goes Yoko. A big elbow drop gets two for Luger and he avoid one from Yoko. Luger hits a running clothesline in the corner before pounding away on the champion’s head in the corner. Yoko will have none of that though and takes Luger down with a single chop.
Luger gets in some right hands but can’t slam Yoko again. Instead he gets kicked in the face and knocked to the floor with some headbutts. Out to the floor they go with Yoko choking Luger with a mic cord. A splash crushes Luger against the post but Yoko misses a chair shot. They head back inside where Luger hits two ax handle shots off the top and middle rope before a top rope forearm gets a very close two count.
A double clothesline puts both guys down and things slow down even more. Fuji throws in his bucket which Yoko uses to knock Luger out cold but only for two. A big belly to belly suplex and side slam get the same results as the champion is getting frustrated. Off to a nerve hold by the champion which eats up several minutes.
Luger fights up again but gets clotheslined down for two. To show you how impressive he is, Heenan actually compliments Luger. I don’t think I ever remember him cheering for a good guy before. Yokozuna loads up the Banzai Drop but Luger rolls away at the last minute. They fight into the corner again but Yoko misses a charge. Luger slams him down and hits the loaded forearm, knocking the champion out to the floor. Unfortunately for Luger, he also knocked Yokozuna out cold, earning Luger a countout win.
Rating: D+. This was long and slow without being very good. Luger got good reactions though, especially for the slam. It was clear that his character was nothing but warmed over Hogan leftovers but at least the fans hadn’t entirely realized that yet. This wasn’t a terrible match, but it certainly was nothing of note either. The ending wasn’t great but it was necessary to continue the story being told.
Luger celebrates with his friends to end the show despite not winning the title. We even get a music video of his push, which would be WAY more effective if Luger had, you know, WON THE FREAKING TITLE. Heenan: “This was his ONE shot!” Vince: “Don’t worry he’ll get another one!” Heaven forbid we pay attention to storylines that PPVs are built around.
Overall Rating: C+. With a Luger title win, this would have been a very solid show. There are some bad matches on here but the majority of the show works amazingly well with Bret vs. Lawler and the six man being highlights. Much like last year it’s a show where the overall show is better than its individual parts which made for a good show. Why Luger didn’t go over here continues to elude me.
Ratings Comparison
Razor Ramon vs. Ted DiBiase
Original: C-
Redo: C-
Steiner Brothers vs. Heavenly Bodies
Original: B-
Redo: C+
Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. Perfect
Original: B-
Redo: C
1-2-3 Kid vs. I.R.S.
Original: F
Redo: D
Bret Hart vs. Doink the Clown
Original: B
Redo: C+
Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler
Original: B+
Redo: B
Marty Jannetty vs. Ludvig Borga
Original: D+
Redo: D-
Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez
Original: C+
Redo: G (As in I long for Great Khali)
Tatanka/Smoking Gunns vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Headshrinkers
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
Someone requested this, but I do warn you that it’s rather old and not up to my current standards.
Halloween Havoc 1996
Date: October 27, 1996
Location: MGM Grand Garden Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Dusty Rhodes, Tony Schiavone
The main things here are of course the NWO matches, which tonight are Hogan vs. Savage for the title and the Outsiders vs. Harlem Heat for the tag titles. Other than that there isn’t a ton here as this is a relatively unimportant show. Sting is the mystery guy now do he’s not here I don’t think. The card looks fairly good though so let’s get to it.
The opening video is about how the NWO has destroyed everyone and tonight it’s Savage’s chance. No reason is given for why he should be different or anything but then again he’s a face so it’s not like it really means anything here.
Cruiserweight Title: Dean Malenko vs. Rey Mysterio
These two have been trading the title back and forth a bit lately. Rey is champion here and Dean has one of his old masks that he ripped off of him. Song angles never get old. Dean jumps him early and we have Mike Tenay here on commentary for the sake of sanity. Mike says that without the mask Rey is done. Nah he won two world titles after that so I’d think Mike is wrong here.
Rey’s knees are both in one piece here so he’s flying all over the place and is the most exciting thing most of the fans have ever seen in their lives. We kind of stop things for a bit here so Rey can put the old mask that Dean brought with him back on. Ok then. These two had some great matches as they did the whole technician vs. high flier thing and it almost always worked. This would be one of those times that it worked.
Dean grounding him here is the right thing to do as it fits into the psychology of the match here. I can live with it when it makes sense I guess. There’s a lot of this in Doug Williams vs. Kendrick at the moment. I love that spinning backbreaker that Dean can snap off like that. They’re doing a nice slow build here and it’s working very well as Rey is going to make his comeback and it’ll be awesome more than likely.
Ah here it comes. He starts busting out all of his big flips and cool moves and they start to work, playing into the idea that as long as Dean keeps it on the mat he can beat Rey. They hit insane speed for a reversal sequence that is just awesome. Rey starts busting out the ranas so you know he’s serious now. Dean counters West Coast Pop into a powerbomb which looks great. A gutwrench powerbomb off the top gives Dean the belt back in a cool ending. He got a BIG face pop despite being a heel here. That’s odd, but ok then.
Rating: B. Solid opener here as the crowd is very awake now. They’ve had better ones but the psychology was here more than it usually is but this worked out well. Rey did his thing and Dean did his. You combine that with good chemistry and this is what you get. Good match and great opener.
Jarrett is replacing Flair in the match vs. the Giant tonight. Any guesses on how this is going to go? Jarrett cuts a decent enough promo on Giant. Again, the guy is talented and no one is questioning that. He’s just not a main event guy, period. He’s just filling in for Flair tonight so there’s no real point to the match. Flair is here too for moral support. He hurt his shoulder so he had to drop the US Title too.
Lord of the Ring: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Eddie Guerrero
Yes, AGAIN they’re fighting over a ring that was won in a battle royal that is worthless at this point. Eddie won the ring at Clash of the Champions and DDP stole it back and now says he doesn’t know where it is. Nick Patrick is refereeing in a neckbrace. This was a feud that went on for a good while but no one remembers it because it meant nothing and went nowhere. They would be in the finals of the US Title Tournament at Starrcade and that’s about it.
Dusty thinks DDP is in the NWO. I think he’s the only big name that didn’t go NWO at some point. Page is still a heel but the pops are beginning to come. He calls Eddie girlfriend for no apparent reason. I’m not entirely sure if this is supposed to be interesting or not. It kind of is but I don’t think that’s what they’re going for here. I don’t know what I mean by that either so don’t try to make sense out of it.
The referee shoves DDP down and gets two for it somehow. DDP was getting better at this time but he still had a lot of moments where he did stuff that just looked awful. We just got one of them. He would have it smoothed out in about 8 months or so for his feud with Savage which was awesome. It’s oddly surprising how boring this match is though. They’re both good workers but this just isn’t interesting me at all. After a lot more of nothing, DDP grabs Eddie’s head and hits the Diamond Cutter to get the pin. Oh and Patrick had the ring apparently. Moving on.
Rating: D+. This wasn’t bad I guess but I just couldn’t get into it at all. It just wasn’t a very interesting match at all but I’ve seen far worse. There’s a severe lack of chemistry here which is odd because they’re both good workers. Just didn’t do it for me here at all.
Savage says this is the calm before the storm. When has Savage EVER been calm? He’s going to snap into Hogan. Wow that makes me want a Slim Jim. Oh and look who the sponsor is!
We literally go straight to Dean Malenko who says he’ll fight anybody that wants a shot, including Rey. Tenay towers over him which is a weird visual.
Ted DiBiase and the Giant are in the crowd for an NWO interview. The Giant has the US Title, even though he isn’t champion. Apparently Jarrett was offered a spot and turned it down. That’s fine enough for a story. Giant tries to talk and he’s a mile ahead of his debut last year, but it’s still pretty bad.
The Giant vs. Jeff Jarrett
Dusty says some people call Jeff Jarrett the giant killer. Who in the world has ever said that? Jarrett is a country guy here but he’s not singing at least. Again, the guy is fine for stuff like this. Just don’t put him much higher. Flair is here for support and comes out to his own entrance just because he feels like it I guess. The problem was that Jarrett had two things going against him: he was a heel in WWF, and he absolutely sucks as a face. Jarrett uses hit and run tactics and has strutted three times in 60 seconds.
Heenan says this is the NEW WCW. Oh that’s funny. And now Jarrett proves why he’s an idiot by putting on a headlock. When Tony Schiavone says you’re doing something stupid, you know you’re an idiot. And then he tries a hip toss. So basically Jarrett looked smart for about 45 seconds and since then he’s looked like an idiot. We get a MASSIVE NWO chant as that’s how much Jarrett is disliked. The NWO was still pretty evil at this point and they’re getting cheered somehow.
Giant balances out the stupidity of JJ by using basic, non-power moves. Flair grabs a mic and gives Jeff a pep talk. Giant does some backbreakers. That’s about the extent of their description. Did someone think this was a good idea for a match? Jarrett was a good worker but against guys the size of the Giant there’s only so many guys that can do much with him. Jarrett hits two PERFECT dropkicks and then tries to slam him.
The problem here is apparent and to be fair this isn’t Jarrett’s fault: he can’t do much to Giant due to the size. He punches a lot and throws dropkicks but how much of a match can you have based on that? Also in a match like this it’s heavily based around building up momentum for the big face comeback. When the face is booed every time he does something though it just doesn’t work that well. Now keep in mind this was supposed to be Flair but he got hurt so they did the best they could.
Jarrett knocks him down with a high cross body but gets the strong toss off. Figure four doesn’t work and we hit the floor. Figure four out there results in Jarrett getting his throat grabbed so Flair just hits him low for the DQ. The Horsemen come out for protection. Remember Jarrett wasn’t a Horseman at this point and was just a friend of Flair’s.
Rating: D. Just not a good match here but like I said, what did you really want them to do out here? The size was just too much to deal with and the crowd HATING Jarrett didn’t help either. Also Giant was still fairly inexperienced against guys that weren’t power guys that could help carry him, so I can give him a break on that. Still just a bad match though.
DiBiase is with Vincent (Virgil) and Syxx (X-Pac/Sean Waltman). They talk way too nicely about Jericho and how they’re coming for the Cruiserweight Title.
Chris Jericho vs. Syxx
The commentators having to ignore the NWO being cheered is always funny. Patrick is the referee again which has to be leading somewhere. This is before the neck injury for Waltman so he’s incredibly fast here. The Dungeon of Doom is at ringside. This is a very fast paced match as we talk about Jericho’s dad for no apparent reason.
This is one of those matches that is hard to comment on as it’s pretty good. Waltman could go against small guys and this is no exception. It wasn’t until he because X-Pac and became the giant killer or whatever that he became so annoying. We crank it up after a good deal of Syxx dominance.
Tony and Heenan get in an argument over whether or not Nick Patrick made a fast count. Oh that’s funny. Allegedly he’s counting slow for Jericho and there may be something to that. Dusty wants him arrested. Even Heenan gets on him for being slow. Ok now you know it’s serious. Jericho gets what should have been a five or so and yells at Patrick about it. He walks into a spinkick for the regular speed pin.
Rating: B-. This was about Jericho vs. Patrick which would happen at WW3 and would be the first match where an NWO guy would lose on PPV since their inception. This was very fast paced and fun though, but the referee thing was just annoying by the end of things. Other than that it was good though.
Luger, looking like he has Dolph Ziggler’s poofy hair, says he’ll get back at Arn for something. Oh ok Arn blamed Lex for tapping at War Games and more or less said he’s a coward, setting this up.
Lex Luger vs. Arn Anderson
Is there anything sweeter than that Horsemen theme song? It’s just flat out awesome sounding. Luger is in all black here which never really looked right on him. Sting has been offered a spot in the NWO. Anderson has hurt Lex’s back recently so he’s not at 100%. This is just not interesting at all. Luger’s back is fine it seems and we’re totally just killing time here. I love Dusty’s ridiculous faith in WCW. It’s always very amusing.
The Dungeon is cheering for Luger. And now Arn’s back is hurt. Sure why not. This match is the epitome of average. Lex does some stuff then Arn does some stuff and then we switch off. It’s just two guys doing moves on each other with a bit of a flow to it. It’s not interesting in the slightest either as there’s barely a reason for them to be fighting but we’re seeing it anyway. Luger works on the back which makes sense for him so that’s fine.
A spinebuster from Arn gets us back to even to an extent as I’m just waiting on this match to end. The back injury for Luger flares up all of a sudden of course so at least the continuity of lack of continuity is there. DDT doesn’t hit as this is just nothing. I know I’ve said that a lot but it’s true. And there goes the referee of course. Arn nails Luger and knocks him into Mark Curtis in case you’re interested for some reason.
We’ll throw in a chair that does nothing as we pad this match out a bit more. The worst catapult in recorded history puts Arn kind of into the post. Lex hits some chair shots on Arn and the Rack ends it. Luger doesn’t let him go. Arn takes forever to get up and the Horsemen come out to help him. He leaves on a stretcher. I think this was what explained him being more or less retired other than the occasional match afterwards.
Rating: D. This wasn’t a particularly bad match, but it is perhaps the least interesting match I’ve seen in a good many months. It’s a good example of a match that’s just there. Two guys wrestled, nothing special happened, one guy used his finishing move to get the win. That’s all there is to it and there’s nothing special about it at all.
Harlem Heat call out the Outsiders.
Faces of Fear vs. Chris Benoit/Steve McMichael
Mongo has barely any experience at all so expect a heavy dose of Benoit here which is hardly a bad thing. If nothing else we get the music again for the Horsemen. This feud went on forever and there was never really a blowoff for it other than it just stopping. Meng and Mongo start and McMichael hides from a kick. Oh that looked bad. It’s always cool seeing Benoit’s mix of wrestling and brawling. Not a lot of people were as good at it as he was.
Mongo loses a sumo match to Meng. Is there a reason this is happening? Mongo wakes up and uses football moves to get Meng down. This works so well that Meng kicks him in the face. I love that. Whenever someone does something stupid, KICK THEM IN THE FACE. McMichael tries some dropkicks. This is a very sad sight. The match is only watchable when Benoit is in there so the tag can’t come fast enough.
In a NICE move, Meng backdrops Benoit into a powerbomb from Barbarian. It’s an awesome move, so Dusty starts talking about the Outsiders. Why you ask? It’s Dusty so this is normal for him. A double headbutt from the top hits Benoit as it’s a good thing that he’s in. Tony talks about an old rule called the One Save Rule, which says that if you save your partner more than once it’s a DQ. This rule isn’t in effect anymore and I’ve never heard of it.
Mongo pops Meng with the briefcase, thereby completely ignoring all stereotypes, and the top rope headbutt ends it. The Dungeon runs in and since the Horsemen are with Anderson at the hospital it’s Benoit vs. everyone. That only works for so long though as the Dungeon stands tall. At least there’s a feud here to explain this. Sullivan goes up to Woman and says let me show you why I’m still the man and does what we would call a punt on Benoit.
Rating: D. I know I gave the previous match the same grade but this is somewhat better. There’s a feud here which makes sense so that’s definitely a good thing. This was really bad when Mongo was in and decent when Benoit was in. Mongo always looked like he was trying, but he just didn’t ever get the hang of it. This is a great example of it.
DiBiase introduces the Outsiders.
Tag Titles: The Outsiders vs. Harlem Heat
That original NWO music is still awesome. Then again so is Harlem Heat’s. The Heat had recently lost and regained the titles from Public Enemy for a pointless reign that lasted like two weeks. The Outsiders grab the belts and hold them up to a pop. Seeing the whole rebellion against the angles is very interesting. It was clear that the fans wanted something new. WWF realized that and made Austin, the rebel character, the top guy in the company and a face. Moral: listen to the audience. They’ll never let you down.
Apparently Sherri is the quarterback of Harlem Heat. Well I wouldn’t mind seeing her in the pants I guess. Stevie knocks Hall over the top rope which they immediately explain is NOT a DQ here. Why didn’t they just drop that stupid rule? I never got a straight answer to that. Anyway, Heenan says this is the first real test for the Outsiders, because clearly fighting Luger and Sting at Hog Wild wasn’t a test right? Or Savage, Luger and Sting or any other big combination they had. I love idiotic lines like that.
The fans loudly boo Harlem Heat taking over. I feel sorry for the announcers at times and then they say something stupid enough to make me lose any and all sympathy I have for them. The Heat dominate early on which is different than what you would expect. Crowd is totally behind the Outsiders here. Hall uses a chokeslam which he used back in like 93 I think. It’s weird to think he’s been using that since Giant was in high school.
Hall kisses Sherri. Can we get a sexual harassment lawsuit from the congregation? Booker hooks a sleeper and gets booed out of the building for it. Stevie gets the hot tag and cleans house, setting up the Harlem Hangover on Hall. Parker comes in for no apparent reason at all and swings the cane at Nash. This of course doesn’t work and two cane shots from Nash to Booker give the Outsiders the tag titles.
Rating: C-. Eh nothing great here but not that bad. This is far more important for the historical aspect than anything else. The ending made sense at least and the cheating was minimal, but the heels won with nefarious activities so that’s all fine. This wasn’t terrible, but the crowd told a lot of the story here as the heels got cheered and few liked the faces.
Hogan is in the crowd where DiBiase was when he did the promos earlier and talks about his new movies. He has a blonde wig on that looks like Sting’s haircut from the old WCW days.
WCW World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Savage
So basically Savage has zero chance here and everyone on the planet knows it. The Outsiders have been escorted from the building allegedly, even though Giant was also and he’s with Hogan here. They must be a bit rushed as Savage’s music starts up while Hogan’s intro is going on and they have to stop it. Savage has a massive monster truck, complete with cowboy hat on it of all things.
Savage went on a big winning streak to get the title shot and then since he was getting over again in a feud against Hogan, he stopped winning for about a month leading up to this match, hence what I said about zero chance. Savage gets a mic and wants everyone else out other than himself and Hogan. Why do I have a bad feeling that the wig is going to play a long role in this match? Giant is thrown out so it’s no longer a reenactment of Mania IV.
Hogan stalls. I mean stalls a LOT. Savage comes at him and he runs for the ropes. Hey! A headlock! Hogan looks SMALL here, maybe weighing 260. And he stalls again, heading to the floor even longer. That headlock is all we’ve had in over four minutes so far. It’s just Hogan hiding in the ropes or in the corner or on the floor the whole time. We’re entering Zbyszko land here. So Liz, who isn’t here, is signed to the NWO but loves Savage still. Got it. Well that actually is a bit intriguing at least.
Savage takes over and steals Hogan’s sunglasses. Yeah Hogan was in sunglasses and a wig for the first seven minutes or so of the match. And there goes the wig. WOW! Hogan is BALD! Why was this supposed to be a big deal? He didn’t have hair in Rocky 3 so why is this a surprise? Savage puts the wig on and this is just bad so far. Hogan busts out a chair, marking the ONLY decent thing in the whole ten minutes so far. Seriously, THIS is the main event of one of the biggest shows of the year.
Hogan kisses Savage on the top of his head and here’s Liz. Someone actually shouts GET EM LIZ! That’s very amusing. And there go Hogan’s tights ecause we all want to see that. Hogan does nothing but punch and kick and choke. Savage does those things but throws in some clotheslines too. This is one of the worst main events I can ever remember. Liz comes in to check on Savage as Hogan is going for the legdrop. Of course we can hear every word Hogan says to her as he’s on a mic.
There goes the referee and here’s Nick Patrick and then another referee at the same time. The elbow hits and Patrick gets to two before his neck starts to hurt. Savage steals an object from Hogan and nails him. Giant is back as this is beyond a mess. Chokeslam on the floor and Savage is more or less dead. Hogan is put on top and gets the pin and a face pop.
Rating: F. This was supposed to be some kind of epic showdown and it was overbooked and a comedy match that wasn’t funny. Let’s see: 5 minutes of stalling, three run-ins, a foreign object, a cheating referee, a ref bump, another ref bump, chair shots and some punching sprinkled in. Yep it’s WCW all right.
Giant brings out a bowl of ice water to wake up Hogan which is amusing for some reason. Hogan grabs a mic and says he’s the king of Hollywood and I have a bad feeling I know where this is going. Ok I do know where this is going but you get the idea. Yep, we have bagpipes. The look on Hogan’s face when Piper shows up is great.
Piper and Hogan say hi to each other and for no apparent reason Hogan and Giant are alone with Piper and do nothing but talk to him. Hogan says he and Piper used to be neck and neck for the biggest star in wrestling. Not really but this is WCW so why use facts? Piper says he’s as big an icon in wrestling as Hogan is. No, not really. He says he’s as big a movie star as Hogan is. Ok that’s true. Piper says he’s shooting here. Yes, this is Starrcade’s main event by the way.
Piper FINALLY says something very true: At Wrestlemania, they wouldn’t have been cheering for Hogan so much if they hadn’t hated Piper so much. I didn’t buy that at first but the more I’ve thought about it the more I think there’s truth in it. Piper was despised by the fans and Hogan was the guy opposing him. I know Hogan was a big deal, but it was Piper fighting Mr. T and doing the mainstream stuff. Hogan was just a wrestler fighting him. I don’t think Piper was a bigger deal, but I think equal is fine, at least for Wrestlemania and the stuff leading up to it.
Piper wants Hogan to admit that he would be nothing without the fans behind him. He also points out that Hogan has never beaten him. Piper starts to leave and Hogan makes a skirt joke. He picks up the belt as Hogan leaves and they actually keep arguing as the show goes off the air. That’s funny for some reason.
Overall Rating: D. This was bad. The opener is good but seriously did you expect anything less? Far from their best match too. Other than that there’s more or less nothing. None of the matches other than the main event are overly bad but they all have been done better or just aren’t interesting at all. Hogan vs. Piper was a cool segment to an extent, but knowing what was coming would just suck the life out of it. Oh and World War 3 is next. Great. Avoid this one.
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Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania X (2015 Redo): They Know How To Do Anniversaries
IMG Credit: WWE
Wrestlemania X Date: March 20, 1994 Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York Attendance: 18,065 Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler
In addition to all the World Title stuff going on, there’s another legendary match on the show and it’s for the Intercontinental Title. Shawn Michaels had been the champion but was suspended over a failed drug test but came back with the title belt. While he was gone, Razor Ramon (now a face and red hot) won the title. The solution was to put both belts above the ring and have a ladder match that would wind up as one of the most influential matches of all time. Let’s get to it.
We open with a package on the first Wrestlemania as this is going to be a show heavy on celebrating history.
Vince introduces Little Richard and a choir to sing America the Beautiful. Richard sings a very nice solo version to start but the choir joins him for an encore and it picks up even more.
Jerry and Vince recap the World Title situation as well as Bret vs. Owen. Another piece worth mentioning is from the Royal Rumble when Bret and Owen tried to win the Tag Team Titles but Bret refused to tag out, leading to the mat being stopped due to a leg injury. Owen rightfully snapped and kicked Bret’s knee out, setting up the match here.
For reasons I don’t quite understand, the Fink isn’t doing the ring announcing.
We get the traditional MSG setup with the entrance opposite the hard camera. I’ve always liked that.
Owen Hart vs. Bret Hart
Owen shoves him away off a lockup and immediately celebrates in a funny moment. They hit the mat for a bit and Owen nips up to his feet, meaning it’s time for another celebration. Bret’s waistlock sends Owen to the ropes and he’s not so happy with that one. Owen slaps him in the face and things get serious in a hurry. We get Owen’s signature counter to a wristlock but Bret nips up as well and takes Owen down in an armbar.
A monkey flip sends Owen into the ropes and a clothesline puts him on the floor. This has been back and forth so far but Bret is clearly a step ahead. Back in and Bret returns the slap before going back to the arm. Owen fights up and hits a spinwheel kick as Lawler rants about how the Hart parents lied about Bret protecting Owen when they were kids. A backbreaker sets up a camel clutch on Bret, followed by a belly to belly for two. Vince: “YES! NO!”
Owen grabs a very nice German suplex for two as Bret’s back and neck continue to take a beating. There’s a tombstone to Bret but he avoids a top rope headbutt from halfway across the ring. Bret comes back with the Five Moves of Doom but Owen enziguris him back down. Neither guy can get a Sharpshooter so Bret sends him to the floor for a dive, only to come up holding his knee. Yeah I’m sure.
Owen goes after the knee and my goodness it might be legit for a change. A few leg locks don’t get Bret anywhere so Owen simplifies it with a Figure Four in the middle of the ring. The hold is finally rolled over into the corner and Bret is up with a hard whip to send Owen chest first into the corner (a signature spot that Bret usually takes). Bret gets a nice piledriver for two and an even better looking superplex gets a delayed near fall.
With nothing else working, Owen kicks him low and puts on the Sharpshooter as Lawler is ecstatic. Bret kicks him over and tries his own Sharpshooter but Owen is right in front of the ropes. Back up and Bret raises a boot in the corner to set up a victory roll but Owen drops forward into a rollup for the completely clean pin at 20:21.
Rating: A+. This is widely considered to be the best opening match in company history and it’s very difficult to put up much of an argument. They were going back and forth for over twenty minutes out there and it never once gets boring or uneventful. This had a great build and Owen is proven exactly right as he jumps out of his brother’s shadow and becomes a main event player.
It’s a great sign when there’s almost nothing to make fun of and it’s just one awesome move and sequence after another. Absolute masterpiece here and something that definitely needs to be seen to be appreciated because this is just a great wrestling match. That’s the right word: wrestling. These two were wrestling each other and it worked the entire way through.
Owen celebrates in the back and talks about how this is a great moment in his career. I could watch Owen’s giddy celebrations all day.
Wrestlemania II was innovative (not really) and had a battle royal.
Here’s the President of the Hair Club for Men who presents the Fink with a hairpiece. This didn’t work and didn’t last, which is probably best for everyone involved.
Bam Bam Bigelow/Luna Vachon vs. Doink the Clown/Dink the Clown
Bigelow and Luna are evil and Dink is a miniature version of Doink because just turning the big one good wasn’t enough of a waste of potential. Bigelow runs Doink over to start and scores with a dropkick. He misses a backsplash though and Doink hammers away without even taking his jacket off. It’s off to Dink, meaning Luna has to come in to take away the awesomeness that was Bam Bam Bigelow beating up a clown.
Luna chokes Dink on the middle rope but misses a charge, allowing Dink to drop an elbow for two. She misses a really high splash though and it’s off to Doink vs. Bigelow with the Bam Bam sitting on his chest. Doink comes back with a jumping DDT but misses a top rope seated senton, setting up Bigelow’s top rope headbutt for the pin at 6:11.
Rating: D-. The silence from the crowd tells you almost everything there is to know. It’s hard to get a New York crowd to not care about wrestling but these four managed to do it. This is the definition of the cartoon style feud that dominated the era and a good example of how stupid it was. It’s not a horrible match but it’s totally uninteresting, which is even worse in a lot of ways.
Bigelow can’t get his hands on Dink and the clowns bail.
And here’s a Bill Clinton impersonator, who Vince treats like the real thing.
Wrestlemania III was a really big show as well. For once they’re right on these things.
Randy Savage vs. Crush
Yokozuna hurt Crush last year and Crush blamed Savage for never coming to see him in the hospital. Crush attacked him, drawing Savage out of the broadcasting booth and back into the ring for one last run. This is falls count anywhere but it’s more like falls don’t count in the ring, as you win by getting a fall and your opponent not being able to get back inside the ring in sixty seconds, making it something like a prototype last man standing match.
The brawl is on in the aisle and Crush drops him throat first across the barricade (a move which helped start the feud) for a quick pin. Savage is back inside though (despite Mr. Fuji hitting him in the back with the Japanese flag) and the sixty second clock is already proving to be a bad idea. Crush ties him in the Tree of Woe for some shots to the ribs but stops to get some salt, only to have Savage knock it into his face. An ax handle and the elbow have Crush in trouble but Savage is smart enough to take him to the floor for the pin.
Crush is out cold so Fuji douses him with water for the save. Back in and Crush backdrops him over the top for that awesome looking landing that only Savage can do. Savage posts him head first and they fight into the crowd with Crush kicking him in the face. They fight backstage with Savage throwing him into a door for the pin, but this time he gets smart and ties Crush’s foot up with an electrical cord and handing him upside down. To make it even better, the rope gives way and Crush falls down but it’s enough to give Savage the win at 9:44.
Rating: C+. This is a tricky one as there’s a cool idea here but the clock thing was stupid. Look at Savage hitting the elbow but having to throw Crush to the floor for the pin. It looks horribly awkward and doesn’t feel like they’re really mad at each other. The ending was smart though and it was a violent enough fight but this would have been much better under the modern last man standing rules and with some more time.
The Clinton impersonator isn’t funny but he does a decent impression. I.R.S. is here to congratulate him on raising the taxes.
Video on Fan Fest, a precursor to Axxess.
Savage celebrates with some fans and we see his title win at Wrestlemania IV.
Women’s Title: Alundra Blayze vs. Lelani Kai
No story here. Blayze is defending and brought the title out of retirement back in December. It’s the same Lelani Kai (in case you thought it was a different one with the same name) from Wrestlemania I challenging and she runs the champ over to start. A headbutt puts Blayze down but she comes back with a standing hurricanrana for two. Some suplexes get two each as Lawler thinks Blayze looks like a horse. Back up and Blayze grabs her signature German suplex to retain at 3:25.
Rating: D-. Kai was nothing more than a name out of the past while Blayze more or less was women’s wrestling in America at this point. The title would be only be around about another year and a half before being dropped into a trashcan on Monday Nitro, putting it out of commission for several more years.
Roddy Piper put out Morton Downey Jr.’s cigarette with a fire extinguisher at Wrestlemania V.
Rhonda Shear, the definition of a ditzy blonde, is in the back getting his picture taken with Shawn Michaels when a pretty drunk looking Burt Reynolds comes in to steal her.
Tag Team Titles: Quebecers vs. Men on a Mission
Men on a Mission, a pair of fat rappers (Mabel, who is 6’10 and 500lbs, and Mo with manager Oscar) who wear bright purple and gold, are challenging. The Quebecers are Jacques (Rougeau/the Mountie) and Pierre (Carl Ouellet, a French Canadian wrestler) and are managed by Johnny Polo (better known as Raven).
Mabel gets double teamed to start but the big double clothesline drops the champs. Mo’s cross body gets two on Pierre as Lawler talks about how huge Mabel is. The Quebecers realize that Mo is their only option so it’s time for the choking. Jacques backdrops Pierre onto Mo for two before doing the same thing over the top and out to the floor. Back in and Mo’s running flip attack puts Pierre down and it’s Mabel coming in to near silence.
The champs hurt their backs as they try a double suplex but actually make the second attempt work. The Cannonball (assisted swanton bomb) gets two and Mabel does the power kickout. Back up and Mabel spinwheel kicks Pierre down to set up their assisted splash (Mo gets on the middle rope and drives Mabel down). Jacques fails at a save attempt but Mabel splashes Pierre on the floor for a countout at 7:43.
Rating: D. The match could have been worse but that’s a horrible ending to a not great match. I get that you didn’t want to put the titles on Men on a Mission, but the Headshrinkers were getting them in about a month so why not swap them out and give us the title change here? It would be better than on a random episode of Raw. Men on a Mission were a good enough fun tag team but that doesn’t mean I want to see them in major spots on the biggest show of the year.
Wrestlemania VI’s moment is the only moment you would expect it to be.
We recap Luger vs. Yokozuna. Luger turned face last 4th of July when he answered and won a bodyslam challenge issued by Yokozuna on board the USS Intrepid. This led to a long running campaign called the Lex Express, leading to Luger’s shot at Summerslam. Luger won by countout and had to win the Royal Rumble to earn this shot. He has the momentum on his side and knows he can beat Yokozuna but Luger is known as a huge choke artist so Yokozuna is probably still favored.
Rhonda Shear is guest timekeeper and Donnie Walhberg of the New Kids on the Block is guest ring announcer.
WWF World Title: Lex Luger vs. Yokozuna
Yokozuna has Mr. Fuji and Jim Cornette in his corner. To make it even more interesting, Mr. Perfect is introduced as a surprise guest referee. Luger is the All American boy here but Lawler says the real American way is Arabian oil going into Japanese cars. Some right hands stagger Yokozuna but a big clothesline stops Luger in mid charge. A forearm puts Yokozuna on the floor but Mr. Perfect (in a referee shirt and referee pants which look like pajamas) doesn’t let Luger follow up. Luger tries a slam and can’t get it over this early, allowing Yokozuna to hammer away with the big clubbing blows to the back.
Yokozuna stops to pull off a turnbuckle pad and we hit the nerve hold on Luger as Cornette demands that the fans cut out the USA chants. Luger fights up after being in the hold for over two minutes but Yokozuna runs him over and even threatens Mr. Perfect. It’s back to the nerve hold again as the match has already died a slow death. They’re just laying there in the hold as the crowd gets more and more annoyed. Yokozuna finally throws Luger to the floor after three and a half minutes out of four were spent on that single hold. Back in and the hold goes right back on because Yokozuna needs to rest even more.
Luger is just laying on the mat as Yokozuna has his hand on his neck. The hold doesn’t even look good but it’s stayed on for the better part of five minutes now. Luger fights up again and sends Yokozuna into the exposed pad before pulling off the slam. The big forearm knocks Yokozuna out cold and Luger stops to beat up the managers but accidentally shoves Perfect in the process, drawing a DQ at 14:40. Remember last year when Luger blindsided Perfect after their match? Well Perfect certainly does.
Rating: F. This match wasn’t even fifteen minutes long and nearly five of that was spent in a rest hold. There’s no excuse for something like that as Yokozuna has shown that he can stay in an active match for long stretches. The ending was fine but the bulk of the match just crippled everything they had.
One other note: there’s a famous story that the ending was changed due to Luger shooting his mouth off in a bar saying that he was going to win the match and Vince changed the plans as a result. This makes no sense if you can see the glaring hole in the story: what else was Luger supposed to say? “Yeah I’m losing at Wrestlemania. It sucks but there’s nothing I can do about it.” Wrestlers always promise they’re going to win matches. It’s basic storytelling, but I’m supposed to believe that the story was changed because Luger stuck to the script? That doesn’t hold up and never will.
The fans are MAD over that ending and I can’t say I blame them. Nearly a third of a fifteen minute match was spent with Yokozuna rubbing Luger’s neck, which didn’t even go anywhere, like so many nerve holds don’t. This is Wrestlemania. The fans should be able to expect more from the World Title match.
In the back, Perfect defends his decision to a screaming Luger. This never went anywhere due to Perfect’s back flaring up again.
Wrestlemania VII saw Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth reunite one final time. That’s the moment they should show, but instead we see the blindfold match. Monsoon: “It was like the blind leading the blind.”
Harvey Wippleman comes out to yell at the Fink for his stupid haircut. It didn’t even help his stupid looks. Fink gets physical (which eventually set up a series of tuxedo matches between the two of them. These things should never be spoken of again.) but Harvey’s newest protege Adam Bomb comes out to grab the helpless announcer. Cue Earthquake of all people and it’s time for a match.
Earthquake vs. Adam Bomb
A powerslam sets up the Earth Splash for the pin on Bomb at 35 seconds. Well that was pointless.
Cornette and Yokozuna laugh at Luger for blowing it again. They’re more than ready for Bret. They saw that knee injury and Yokozuna is coming after it like a shark. The feeding frenzy will begin. It’s still bizarre to see Cornette raving like a madman in the WWF.
Wrestlemania VIII’s moment is just Undertaker’s entrance. His opponent isn’t even mentioned.
Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon
I really don’t think the ladder match needs much of an introduction. Ring announcer Bill Dunn: “The following contest has no rules!” Then he explains how you win the match, which sounds an awful lot like rules. Razor is officially the only champion coming in and Shawn has Diesel in his corner. Feeling out process to start until Razor counters a wristlock into a chokeslam. A neckbreaker doesn’t have much effect on Razor and they head to the floor where Diesel clotheslines Razor down. That’s enough for an ejection and it’s one on one.
They head back inside for more fighting as the ladder continues to loom at ringside. Shawn fires off right hands but Razor loads up a quick Razor’s Edge, only to get backdropped over the top and onto the exposed concrete. Razor comes up holding his elbow and now it’s time for the ladder. Razor is up for the save but Shawn baseball slides the ladder into him to take over again. He drives the ladder down into the ribs instead of climbing though and it’s time for violence.
That bores Shawn so he throws the ladder at Razor instead. Shawn goes up the ladder but Razor makes the save, pulling Shawn’s tights down at the same time. Razor is still in trouble though as Shawn splashes him off the ladder to stay on the bad ribs. It’s so nice to see even some basic psychology in a match that would become defined by all the big spots. Razor pulls Shawn off the ladder to send him into the top rope, putting both guys down again.
After a cool looking overhead shot, Shawn sets up the ladder in the corner but Razor whips him in to send Shawn crashing down to the floor. A catapult sends Shawn face first into the ladder up against the apron and it’s time for Razor to climb. This time though it’s Shawn coming off the top to break it up, only to have the ladder fall on him in an even bigger crash. Both guys climb but crash back down with the ladder bending in the process, which would help play a roll in their rematch at Summerslam the next year.
Shawn dropkicks Ramon off the ladder and wisely shoves the ladder onto Razor. For some reason Ramon is right back up, only to eat a superkick. We get one of the most famous spots of the match as Shawn rides the ladder off the top and down onto Razor for a big crash. Shawn goes up again but Razor shoulders the ladder down, sending Shawn into the ropes, tying his foot up in the process. Razor climbs up and pulls down the belts for the win and the undisputed title at 18:49.
Rating: A+. It’s the ladder match and I think that’s all I need to say. This is one of the most perfectly executed matches of all time and it’s almost impossible to find anything bad about it. Both guys were made better here with Shawn getting to showcase how great he really could be. His rise to the top was coming and there was almost nothing that could stop him. This more than holds up over time and deserves the accolades it deserves as a perfect match. It may not be the most eye popping spectacle ever, but it was a perfectly done match on the biggest stage and it doesn’t get any better than that.
Rick Martel, the Headshrinkers, Jeff Jarrett and I.R.S. argue over who is the captain for the ten man tag so the match is postponed until tomorrow night on Raw. That’s one match canceled and you have to believe one cut horribly short. At least we got that epic nerve hold though.
Ted DiBiase tries to bribe Clinton.
Wrestlemania IX’s moment is Fuji throwing salt at Bret. The subsequent title changes are never mentioned.
Music video on Bret and Yokozuna’s paths to the main event with Bret’s set to Making Some Noise by Tom Petty.
Ring announcer Burt Reynolds introduces actress Jennie Garth as guest timekeeper. The special guest referee here: Roddy Piper, who may or may not want revenge on Bret for Wrestlemania VIII.
WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna
Bret is challenging and limps to the ring to sell the knee injury from earlier in the night. Yokozuna jumps him before he can get in the ring though and Bret is in early trouble. A big headbutt puts Bret down and it’s time for choking. Bret fights up with some right hands and a headbutt to put Yokozuna down but he can’t follow up. The champ gets taken down for two but Cornette pulls Piper to the floor. That earns Cornette a right hand to the face as Yokozuna gets back up and rakes Bret’s eyes to take over.
There’s the big legdrop but Yokozuna throws him outside instead of covering. Back in and Bret avoids a charge in the corner and gets two off a middle rope bulldog. That’s the third time he’s used that move in two matches against Yokozuna but what else is he supposed to do against someone that big? Bret tries to go the middle rope but dives into a belly to belly. It’s time for the Banzai Drop but Yokozuna falls backwards (with no contact from Hart) and hits his head to give Bret the pin and the title at 10:33.
Rating: D+. The results helps but what was that ending? We know Bret can get him in the Sharpshooter or at least do some offensive moves to him but their big solution is to have Bret do absolutely nothing and get the pin? It doesn’t make Bret look like the conqueror but rather just like someone who was in the right place at the right time. This felt like a bigger deal than their last match and it was a more enjoyable moment as a result, even if they had another bad ending. Either way though, at least Bret is champion again.
A bunch of people including Savage, Ramon, Monsoon, Vince himself and the celebrities come out to celebrate with Bret but Owen shows up at the entrance to shake his head at Bret. He asks what about him and stares his still limping brother down to end the show.
Overall Rating: B+. Much like last year, the two best matches carry this show as far as it needs to go and the rest is just gravy. With two masterpieces and Bret winning the title that he deserves back to end the show, it’s almost impossible to call this anything less than very good. Unfortunately the rest of the show doesn’t support the top shelf stuff, but the rest of this show was just so strong that it carries everything else with it. This is one of the most well received shows of all time and it’s really not hard to see why with every major match hitting on at one major cylinder.
Ratings Comparison
Owen Hart vs. Bret Hart
Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A+
Bam Bam Bigelow/Luna Vachon vs. Doink the Clown/Dink
Original: F
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D-
Randy Savage vs. Crush
Original: C+
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C+
Alundra Blayze vs. Lelani Kai
Original: D-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D-
Men on a Mission vs. Quebecers
Original: F
2013 Redo: F+
2015 Redo: D
Yokozuna vs. Lex Luger
Original: F
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: F
Earthquake vs. Adam Bomb
Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels
Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A+
Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna
Original: C+
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: D+
Overall Rating
Original: A
2013 Redo: A-
2015 Redo: B+
It’s Wrestlemania X. This is classic viewing whether you’re a huge wrestling fan or some loser on a night shift.
Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:
Monday Night Raw – November 28, 1994: The New Power
IMG Credit: WWE
Monday Night Raw Date: November 28, 1994 Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York Attendance: 2,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler
We’re past Survivor Series and that means we have a new WWF World Champion in the form of Diesel. Yes Diesel, who is now fighting on the side of good, and not Bob Backlund, who lost the title to Diesel three days after he won the title back. The fact that the match was eight seconds made it even more emphatic. The company is running on Diesel Power now and that means….well we’re not sure yet so let’s get to it.
We open with a stills package of Backlund winning the title. My favorite part of that remains British Bulldog being unconscious on the floor for the better part of twelve minutes and receiving no attention, including people walking over his unconscious body. Diesel dominated his Survivor Series match that night but got kicked in the face by Shawn Michaels, meaning the team was done (vacating the Tag Team Titles in the process). We see the full title change with Diesel winning the title. I remember seeing this at six years old and going nuts.
Owen Hart vs. John Paul
Owen is downright giddy after screwing Bret out of the title. Paul gets taken down by the shoulder as Bret calls in to discuss his shoulder injury. He should be back around the New Year due to some stretched tendons so the WE WANT BRET chants are going to be ignored for the time being. Owen gets in some more suplexes and an enziguri but Paul hits a good dropkick. And never mind as the Sharpshooter wraps him up in short order.
Rating: D. Just a squash here while Bret got to update his story. Owen wasn’t going to do much after the feud with Bret wrapped up but he needed to get a win of his own that actually mattered. Unfortunately it would take a long time to get there and that had a lot to do with Owen falling down the card in short order.
Owen throws the towel in on Paul for bad measure.
BUY THE ENCORE!
IRS vs. Adam Bomb
IRS has Ted DiBiase, who brings out his own druid. Apparently Undertaker STILL owes some taxes, which really is inexcusable. Bomb shrugs off the early right hands in the corner and grabs a headlock, because that’s what you expect from a power guy like him. IRS gets knocked outside and rammed into the apron as the announcers talk about Chuck Norris.
Back in and the slingshot clothesline (always looked good) drops IRS again, followed by a whip into the corner for the same. IRS gets in a toss to the floor of his own and it’s time to hit that chinlock. Bomb fights up and we take a very abrupt break. We come back with Bomb in more trouble and another chinlock going on. The comeback, consisting of some clotheslines, but the druid shoves Bomb off the top to give IRS an easy pin.
Rating: D+. I’ve always been a fan of Bomb so the match was a little more entertaining than it could have been otherwise. As it was though, the match was rather boring with no reason to be interested in anything they were doing. I’m also wondering why we’re building Undertaker vs. IRS but my goodness the possible explanations scare the heck out of me.
Lex Luger makes a post match save.
Stills of the casket match.
Bob Holly vs. Tony DeVito
Holly, mostly in black for a weird look, starts fast with the perfect dropkick. DeVito gets in a running corner clothesline for about the extent of his offense. The announcers talk about Holly’s actual racing career until he finishes with a top rope clothesline.
We get what I believe is the first Henry Godwinn vignette. Egads 1994 was a scary time. He’s the scariest hog of all and when he gets to the WWF, he’ll be in hog Heaven. You just know Vince wrote that line.
Lex Luger vs. Bert Centino
Luger works the arm to start and hits some hiptosses. An elbow drop doesn’t go as well but a running clothesline and the Rebel Rack end Bert in a hurry.
Here’s Diesel for his first interview as champion. He recaps Shawn messing things up because he wanted the spotlight after Diesel did all the work. Shawn better be glad he got away because if Diesel had gotten his hands on him, Shawn wouldn’t have survived. Then with Bret out injured, Diesel won the title at Madison Square Garden on Saturday. Diesel recaps his entire day, including the cab ride from the airport.
About a hundred people told him win the title and HOW SWEET IT IS that he now has the gold. He respects Bob Backlund and the crossface chickenwing could be trouble, but Bob has to get it on. Oh yeah he’s corporate now, as that’s not something Diesel would have EVER said before winning the title.
As for Bret, Diesel doesn’t like how he lost the title and if someone hadn’t made Bret give up, Survivor Series would still be going on. Vince: “That would be true.” My goodness you can see the wheels turning for Montreal from here. Diesel would be glad to give Bret a title shot anytime anywhere. He declares the new generation to wrap it up on a pretty bad note.
Heavenly Bodies vs. Gary Scott/Buck Quartermaine
I’ve never been a fan of the Bodies but Cornette raves about them so maybe they’re worth another look. Del Ray gets hiptossed by Scott as Backlund joins commentary, praising the benefits of dictionaries. It’s off to Prichard for a knee drop but Buck is in for some dropkicks. Bob talks about mothers killing their children, which he wants to change. Well now that we’ve covered that issue, Prichard gets in a suplex on Buck to keep him in trouble. Backlund cites Sigmund Freud to explain his blackout after losing the title as Prichard hits the Doctor Bomb for no cover. A Trash Compactor ends Buck.
Rating: D+. I could see why the Bodies were considered a good team and it’s not like there’s anything to be gained off a match like this. Maybe I need to see some of their SMW stuff as that seems to be their heyday. This was mainly about Backlund though, which might explain why the Bodies didn’t work out so well around here.
Backlund doesn’t want to see the title loss (well duh) and promises to chicken wing Vince before he retires. I don’t think anything ever came of that but it’s a funny visual.
Overall Rating: D-. So Diesel is champion now and you can feel the darkness creeping in. They had to get away from Backlund as the top heel and Bret had gotten them about as far as he could, but turning Diesel away from what worked isn’t the best idea in the world. Then again not much on this show was a good idea and that’s a bad sign of things to come. Like Henry Godwinn for example.
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Royal Rumble 1994 Date: January 22, 1994
Location: Providence Civic Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Attendance: 14,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Ted DiBiase
This is one of those shows where the good stuff is good but the bad stuff is REALLY bad. The main idea here is that someone has to stop Yokozuna, and it’s going to be one of three people: Bret Hart or Lex Luger who could get the shot by winning the Rumble, or the Undertaker who has a casket match against Yoko tonight for the title. Oh….this is going to be a long night. Let’s get to it.
Vince is on commentary here and gets to do his carnival barker stuff. The guy knows how to make a show sound exciting, I have to give him that. DiBiase comes out to do commentary with McMahon due to having to retire late in 1993 due to a bunch of injuries.
Tatanka vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
Bigelow is in Ludvig Borga’s spot because Borga broke his ankle. Bigelow pounds on Tatanka to start and dropkicks him into the corner. Tatanka literally bounces off of Bigelow before coming back with a chop to take Bigelow down. A DDT puts Bam Bam down again but Tatanka goes up for a cross body, missing Bigelow by a mile. This is a REALLY hot start so far. Bigelow crushes Tatanka in the corner with a splash and things slow down somewhat.
Tatanka gets in a shot to the head and tries a top rope sunset flip, only to have Bam Bam sit on him. When all else fails, sit on the other guy. Off to a bearhug for about two minutes before Bigelow drops him with a shoulder block. Tatanka starts his war path thing so Bam Bam decks him in the head with an enziguri to drop him. The moonsault misses though and Tatanka goes up again, this time hitting the cross body for the pin.
Rating: C+. Shockingly hot opener here and if you cut the bear hug in half or so, this is a really solid match. They stuck to the formula really well here and the match was good as a result. This is one of the nice surprises in wrestling: on paper this sounded horrible but it turned out to be a pretty nice match. Good opener.
We recap the tag title match, which is a rare instance where it’s all about the challengers rather than the champions. Owen Hart was the only Hart Brother eliminated in the Survivor Series match against Shawn and his Knights, which ticked him off. Owen had been whipped into Bret on the apron and the distraction let Shawn roll Owen up for the pin.
This caused Owen to cut a heel promo, talking about how he was tired of being in Bret’s shadow and wanting a match with him to escape it. Bret of course said no, but instead offered to team up with Owen to get his brother his first championship. Owen talked about leading the team but seemed genuinely ok at this point. For some reason we also see the Quebecers losing the tag titles to the 1-2-3 Kid and Marty Jannetty for a single week for some reason.
The Harts talk about all the teams they’re going to give title shots to once they win the belts tonight.
Tag Titles: Bret Hart/Owen Hart vs. Quebecers
The Quebecers are managed by Johnny Polo, who would change his name to Raven in ECW. Pierre and Bret start things off with the challenger taking over. Off to Owen to work on the arm with his signature spinning counter to a wristlock. Off to Jacques and they botch something, but Owen hits a quick suplex to keep things on track. An enziguri gets two for Owen and it’s back to Bret.
After a bunch of rollups by Bret, everything breaks down and the Quebecers take over. Actually scratch that as Owen hits a kind of spear into a rollup for two and the Harts stand tall. It’s Bret vs. Jacques with Hart in control until it’s back to Owen for a gutwrench suplex for two. Bret comes back in, only to get powerslammed down by Pierre. A pair of knees to the back gets two and it’s back to Jacques.
That goes nowhere so Pierre comes in to jump into a boot. Owen comes back in and belly to bellys Jacques down before hooking the Sharpshooter. Pierre bulldogs Owen down for a fast save of course and it’s back to Pierre legally. Owen dropkicks both Quebecers down and it’s off to Bret again. For some reason both champions are allowed to stay in the ring for way too long. Pierre is atomic dropped to the floor, and now we get to the turning point of the match: Johnny Polo holds the ropes open to send Bret to the floor. Bret comes up holding his knee and he’s in big trouble.
Pierre rams the knee into the barricade to further the damage and the match turns into a kind of sloppy brawl on the floor. Owen finally throws Bret back into the ring and the leg work begins. Jacques puts on a half crab but Owen makes a fast save. The champions load up the Cannonball (kind of an aided Swanton) but Bret rolls away. Instead of tagging though, Bret tries the Sharpshooter….and the referee stops the match for the knee injury.
Rating: B-. This is one of those matches where you can look at it in multiple ways. From a match standpoint, it’s a standard tag match with the faces and heels doing exactly what they would be expected to do. On the other hand, the idea here was about setting up Owen’s heel turn, and the ending does that perfectly. There was no reason for Bret to not tag at the end and it sets Owen off as it should.
Post match Owen glares at Bret and paces back and forth. Bret manages to pull himself up but can barely stand up. Owen kicks the leg out, officially turning heel to HUGE booing. He leaves so here are some officials to come check on Bret. Ray Rougeau, a reporter for WWF at this point, comes out to interview Bret while he’s on his back in agony. For some reason that cracks me up.
Owen is in the back and goes on a huge tirade about how selfish Bret is and how Bret cost him the biggest match of his career. Bret is being carried to the back and has to watch this promo on the video screen. Owen’s face here is great as he unleashes all this pent up anger and frustration on Bret, saying he’ll win the Rumble because he doesn’t have to count on Bret. This would be the top feud for the next eight months or so.
Intercontinental Title: IRS vs. Razor Ramon
Guess who is defending here. JR and Gorilla Monsoon do commentary for this match. IRS goes on a big rant about how evil the crowd here is for not paying their taxes, even though they have about three months left to file. Razor goes off on IRS to start, knocking him out to the floor. IRS comes back with some forearms but Razor punches him right back down to take over again.
Ramon hits a bunch of basic stuff like atomic drops and clotheslines for some two counts, but IRS ducks under a clothesline to send Razor out to the floor. Back in and IRS goes up but jumps into a boot. For one of the only times I can EVER remember this happening, IRS avoids the foot and drops an elbow for two instead. WHY IS THAT SO HARD FOR PEOPLE TO DO???
We hit the chinlock for well over a minute before Razor fights up and hits the fallaway slam. The referee gets knocked out in the corner and IRS grabs his briefcase, only for Razor to take it back and clock him in the head with it. No referee though, so Razor loads up a belly to back superplex. There’s still no referee, so Razor sets for the Edge, only to have Shawn run out and clock him with the fake IC Title. IRS finally wakes up and pins Razor for the title.
Rating: D+. This wasn’t bad but the overbooking hurt it a lot. This should have lasted about three minutes less and it would have been a lot better. Oddly enough I don’t remember IRS being champion at all, but then again this is the remastered version so maybe they really cleaned things up.
Or maybe another referee comes out to explain the interference and the match is restarted. Razor hits the Edge to retain.
Bearer and Undertaker are making a coffin for Yoko.
We recap the world title match, which is Yoko being scared of Taker and Taker being one of the last hopes to stop the monster. Apparently the contract was signed before Yoko and company knew it was a casket match. Taker I believe debuted his popping out of the casket spot in this feud.
WWF World Title: The Undertaker vs. Yokozuna
They stare each other down to start and Taker fires off his uppercuts to stagger the champion. A clothesline puts Yoko down and another uppercut puts Yoko on the floor. Taker is sent into the steps and it’s immediately no sold, scaring Yoko to death again. There’s Old School but the jumping clothesline misses as Yoko ducks. Why does no one else ever think of doing that?
They fight over a chair on the floor which winds up going upside Yoko’s head. There’s a plastic chair to the back of the champion but Yoko grabs the trusty salt to blind Taker. Now it’s Taker’s back getting hit with the chair and we head back inside. A clothesline puts Taker down but he fights out of the casket. Taker wins a slugout in the middle of the ring but Yoko belly to belly suplexes him down. Come on. You know that’s not holding him down. Taker pops up and grabs Yoko by the throat and hits a DDT to put the champion down again.
Yoko is placed in the casket but here’s Crush to block Taker from closing it. Taker slugs him down so here’s Great Kabuki and Tenryu but Taker beats them down as well. Yoko is still out cold in the casket. Bam Bam Bigelow comes in now and it’s 4-1 in the ring. One has to wonder why Paul Bearer doesn’t go over and close the casket but this match doesn’t seem to be the most logical one. Fuji and Cornette have stolen the Urn.
Yoko finally gets out of the casket as Bearer beats up Fuji and Cornette, stealing the Urn back. He uses it to recharge Taker, who fights off all four mercenaries. Now it’s Adam Bomb to make it technically 8-1 but Taker fights everyone off with the salt bucket. Jeff Jarrett comes in as well, as do the Headshrinkers. That makes it NINE wrestlers (Yoko, Crush, Kabuki, Tenryu, Bigelow, Jarrett, Samu, Fatu, Adam Bomb) against Undertaker.
AND HE GETS UP. Diesel comes out and they get Taker in the coffin but he fights ALL OF THEM OFF. Yoko steals the Urn and hits Taker in the head with it before opening the Urn. Green smoke comes out of it and Taker now is powerless. Everyone hits a bunch of moves on him as this goes on WAY too long. After ALL THAT, Taker is put in the coffin and Yoko retains the title.
Rating: F. On a major wrestling show, The Undertaker just fought off ten men until green smoke was released to drain him of his power. I’ve seen Japanese anime that makes more sense than this. Oh and the match itself, as in the one on one part, might have gone about six minutes.
BUT IT GETS WORSE!
The heels all push the coffin away when a gong goes off. Smoke comes out of the casket…..and a FREAKING CAMERA FEED FROM INSIDE THE CASKET POPS UP ON THE SCREEN. Taker says his soul lives in everyone and he can’t be extinguished. He says there’s going to be a rebirth of the Undertaker and he won’t rest in peace. Then electrical noises go off and we get something like an inverse camera shot (as in it’s all in black and white but what is white is black and what is black is white).
Then, to REALLY hammer home the point, the image on the screen starts to rise up through the top of the screen (which should be the top of the casket, meaning it should be ramming into the people that put him in the freaking casket) and A FREAKING BODY RISES OUT OF THE TOP OF THE SCREEN. AS IN A TANGIBLE BODY (which might have been played by Marty Jannetty).
In other words, WWF just said Taker is something like Jesus. Oh and one other thing to really make sure this is stupid: YOU CAN’T SEE IT. All I can see are some quick shots of it when flashes go off. This is one of those things that embarrasses me as a wrestling fan. I mean…..WOW.
The usual Rumble interviews eat up some time.
Royal Rumble
Scott Steiner is #1 and Samu is #2. Also the intervals are every 90 seconds this year so the entrances will come in faster than ever. Scott pounds away to start and hits a butterfly suplex as Samu tries to hang on. He does indeed survive and kills Scott with a clothesline. Rick Steiner is #3 and Samu is in BIG trouble. After some suplexes he’s out very quickly (but not before getting his head caught in the top and middle rope which is always kind of scary looking), giving us the Battle of the Steiners.
That battle literally lasts six seconds as Kwang (Savio Vega in a mask, allegedly Asian here) is #4. Scott suplexes Kwang down and Owen Hart is #5 to BIG heel heat. The heels take over and Owen actually dumps Rick out. That’s one of the rare times where the constant pushing against the ropes worked. Bart Gunn is #6 and things speed up a bit. No one really does anything so here’s Diesel at #7. This is where things pick up as this match is without a doubt Diesel’s coming out party.
He beats on everyone and throws out Bart, Scott, Owen and Kwang inside of 45 seconds. Bob Backlund is #8 and immediately goes for the leg. He actually gets Diesel up against the ropes and upside down, but Diesel will have none of that. Who would believe these two would have a world title match in Madison Square Garden later in the year? Backlund is gone quickly. Billy Gunn is #9 and doesn’t even last fifteen seconds.
We cut to the back where Kabuki and Tenryu are destroying Lex Luger. After Diesel stands around for a bit, he has to throw out Virgil who is #10 in about thirty seconds (causing DiBiase to laugh loudly and get in some good verbal jabs). Note that the fans are LOUDLY chanting for Diesel here, who had NEVER gotten a reaction until this point. No one has been able to stand up to Diesel at all so far. #11 is Randy Savage. This should be a bit better challenge I’d think.
Savage goes right for him and pounds away on the big man in the corner before peppering him with jabs. He has Diesel in trouble but Jeff Jarrett is #12 to save the not yet Big Daddy Cool. We hear about Jarrett wanting to become WWF Champion so he’ll be a famous country singer in Nashville. And people wonder why he never got over until he completely changed everything about his character.
Savage is thrown to the apron by Jarrett but Randy comes back and eliminates Jeff with ease. Crush, who Savage HATES at this point, is #13. Diesel just kind of chills in the corner as Savage beats up Crush. The numbers finally catch up with Savage though until Crush eliminates him with ease. Doink is #14 and he gets beaten up as well but not tossed. Here’s his big rival Bam Bam Bigelow at #15 and it’s 3-1 now. Bigelow easily thorws the clown out ala the Spike Dudley throw from ECW.
Mabel is #16 and dang there are some big guys in there. He goes right for Diesel in a terrifying preview of Summerslam 95. Mabel cleans house until Sparky Plugg (Bob Holly as a racecar driver and debuting here as a replacement for the 1-2-3 Kid) is #17. Shawn Michaels is #18 and stares down Diesel to start. Everyone gets on Diesel and Shawn gives the final push to eliminate him. Diesel gets a VERY audible ovation and chant as he leaves.
Mo, Mabel’s totally useless partner, is #19. Nothing of note happens so here’s Greg Valentine in a one night only appearance at #20. Mabel misses a charge in the corner and Shawn is gorilla pressed by Crush but not eliminated for some reason. Tatanka comes in at #21. To recap we’ve got Plugg, Valentine, Tatanka, Mabel, Bigelow, Crush, Michaels and Mo in there. Valentine puts Michaels on the apron but can’t get him out.
Kabuki is #22 and almost everyone gangs up on Mabel to dump him out. It’s amazing how much easier it is to see with the big fat purple tub of goo out of there. Lex Luger (looking FINE after that attack like 15 minutes ago) is #23 and he cleans house. There are ten people in the ring right now but there goes Kabuki at the hands of Lex. Luger clotheslines Bigelow down and here’s Tenryu at #24.
There are WAY too many people in there right now. Like seriously, do we need FREAKING MO in there? Or Valentine? Those are bodies you could dump out and no one would care. Luger and Tenryu go at it as Shawn is almost dumped out. Bastion Booger is supposed to be #25 but he’s not here for some reason (Vince says it was supposed to be Bret Hart but more on that in a bit). I believe there are nine people in there at the moment so Booger not coming in was a good thing. Granted it was a good thing either way but you get the idea. Rick Martel is #26 and nothing happens.
For your big face pop of the match (other than Diesel): Bret Hart is #27 and limping very badly. Today, people would have a bandage on the knee and charge to the ring because modern wrestling is stupid. Fatu is #28 and DEAR FREAKING GOODNESS THROW SOMEONE OUT ALREADY! A bunch of guys team up and FINALLY throw Crush out as Marty Jannetty is #29. Naturally he goes right for Shawn and punches Shawn to the apron.
Adam Bomb is #30, giving us a ridiculous THIRTEEN FINAL PEOPLE in the Rumble. The final group is Bigelow, Sparky, Shawn, Mo (seriously, FREAKING MO?), Valentine, Tatanka, Luger, Tenryu, Martel, Hart, Fatu, Jannetty and Bomb. Bret saves Shawn (shocking I know) to dump out Sparky, thank goodness. Bret beats on everyone as we still need to get rid of more people. Everyone beats on everyone for awhile and nothing is happening. DiBiase: “The smart thing to do is go after Bret Hart’s knee.” Vince: “The smart thing to do is throw people out of the ring.” Did….did Vince just burn Ted Dibiase?
Martel dumps Valentine but is quickly dumped out by Tatanka. Luger throws out Bomb and Mo is FINALLY put out as well. Bigelow tosses Tatanka and Lex forearms Bam Bam out. Jannetty goes out to get us down to Luger, Hart, Fatu, Tenryu and Shawn. Tenryu rams Shawn and Fatu’s heads together which only hurts Shawn of course. Luger and Bret put out Tenryu and it’s Bret vs. Shawn (duh). Luger goes for Fatu’s head and gets superkicked for being stupid.
The heels put Luger on the apron but he fights them both off and clotheslines Fatu into a 360. Bret dumps Fatu and Luger dumps Shawn and we’re down to two. They slug it out and Luger picks up Bret, but they both fall out at the same time, giving us a double elimination to end the Rumble.
Rating: C+. This is a hard one to grade. The pacing is TERRIBLE with guys like Sparky Plugg and Mo staying in for over twenty minutes each, but the action is solid for the most part. The stuff with Diesel is excellent and it truly made him a star. The ending stuff once they got rid of about seven guys in 90 seconds was good too, but stuff in the middle didn’t work all that well.
Post match there’s a disagreement over who wins but both guys have their music played. This would lead to a somewhat complicated decision where there was a coin toss and two world title matches at Mania. This goes on for about eight minutes or so but it’s just the referees arguing and both guys saying they won. Replays don’t really show us anything either. They do a good job here of making it impossible to tell who won, unlike in 2005 when it was clear that one of them (I want to say Cena) hit first. They’re finally declared co-winners to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. This show is one where it’s very hard to come up with an overall grade. I really liked the opener and the tag match and Rumble were both good, but when a show has what might be the dumbest moment in wrestling history (and that covers A LOT of stupid moments), it’s brought down a lot. Early 1994 was not a good time for the WWF but once they finally picked Bret as the guy, things got a lot better.
Ratings Comparison
Tatanka vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
Original: B
Redo: C+
Quebecers vs. Bret Hart/Owen Hart
Original: A+
Redo: B-
Razor Ramon vs. IRS
Original: C+
Redo: D+
Yokozuna vs. Undertaker
Original: F
Redo: F
Royal Rumble
Original: B
Redo: C+
Overall Rating
Original: B
Redo: C-
DANG I liked this show a lot better on the first viewing.
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Monday Night Raw – February 27, 1995 (100th Episode, 2017 Redo): They’ll Get Better At This
Monday Night Raw Date: February 27, 1995 Location: Macon Coliseum, Macon, Georgia Attendance: 2,751 Commentators: Jim Cornette, Vince McMahon
Strike up the band because it’s the 100th episode! This time around we have a “live” appearance by Lawrence Taylor as the road to Wrestlemania continues. Other than that it’s Lex Luger vs. Tatanka in a feud I was hoping would have died by now. I don’t think they have enough history for a retrospective yet but this company astounds me with its ability to praise itself at times. Let’s get to it.
There’s a new opening sequence, which wouldn’t last long but it was nice for a change.
Luger recaps the Tatanka feud, which started at Summerslam and then picked up about six months later. Tatanka recently attacked his mentor Chief Jay Strongbow, who will be in Luger’s corner tonight. Luger has nothing here and you can feel how little he cares.
Tatanka vs. Lex Luger
Ted DiBiase and Chief Jay Strongbow are the seconds. Luger hammers him out to the floor without too much effort and we hit the long form stall button. Back in and Tatanka starts with the chops so Luger shrugs them off as you would expect a good (or mediocre in Luger’s case) hero to do. Some right hands stagger Tatanka but he manages to grab the trunks and send Luger outside in a heap.
Back in and Tatanka chops away some more to take us to a break. We come back with Luger still in trouble and Strongbow slowly clapping him on. Strongbow is a famous name but he just feels WAY out of place here. Tatanka grabs a bearhug and Luger doesn’t even look moderately annoyed. Luger slugs away to break one of the lamest bearhugs I’ve ever seen and the comeback is on. A sleeper, which was apparently taught to him by Strongbow, is easily broken up and Tatanka steals Strongbow’s headdress.
Jay chops him back and Luger hammers away as we take a second break. Back again with Tatanka being clotheslined to the floor and teasing a walk out until Luger drags him to the ring. If he has to deal with this boring feud, so does Tatanka. Luger slams him down and sends Tatanka into the corner over and over. A bunch of stomping sends Tatanka to the floor and this time the walk out works to give Luger the countout win.
Rating: D-. So we wait twenty minutes including two commercials and put up with the Strongbow cameo which meant a grand total of nothing for a walk out finish. In theory this was designed to set up a strap match at Wrestlemania but thankfully the company came to their senses and realized this feud was death for both guys.
Clip of Jerry Lawler being knocked to the floor in a battle royal but landing on one foot. He hopped around the ring to try to get back in….until Bret Hart came down and stomped on his foot to complete the elimination. Cute bit.
Owen Hart vs. Larry Santo
Owen works a hammerlock to start as we hear about his search for a tag partner to challenge the Smoking Gunns. Cornette tries to tell us that Santo is the son of El Santo but Vince doesn’t quite buy it. Owen spinwheel kicks him down as we talk about Taylor vs. Bigelow. A legdrop has Santo in trouble but he actually scores with a few right hands. Those go nowhere of course and it’s the missile dropkick into the Sharpshooter to make Santo quit.
Rating: D. Just a squash here with the announcers ignoring the match to talk about the big story. That’s fine in a match like this that means nothing and at least we heard about Owen’s story to start. Owen moving to the tag division made sense as it gave him a chance to shine without being overshadowed by Bret.
Vince and Cornette talk about the mainstream coverage of Taylor vs. Bigelow. You know Vince loves that stuff.
Taylor joins us to talk about the incident with Bigelow at the Royal Rumble. He thought about fighting back but decided to keep his cool. Also, he’s not cool with the WWF showing the clip over and over on national TV. Preach it brother. Cornette accuses Taylor of being scared but if that were the case, he’d just call the cops and that’s not happening. Bigelow pops in to talk trash and a meeting is set up at the Harley Davidson Cafe in some undisclosed city. This was WAY too long and Taylor came off as incredibly uninteresting and boring. I get the mainstream stuff but my goodness it was annoying to wrestling fans, as it always is.
Doink the Clown vs. Bob Cook
Cook is yet another NWA jobber. Doink kicks him in the back to start and works on the arm as the announcers talk about tomorrow’s press conference. Dink comes in and rolls over Cook and Vince starts talking about adults being overweight. The armbar transitions into a hammerlock before Doink slams him down. The Whoopee Cushion ends Cook without too much trouble.
Rating: D-. The announcers clearly didn’t care about this one and it was just there for the sake of filling in more of the show. This is the kind of match that makes me not want to do a lot of these shows in a row as they’re just not interesting. Raw is two years old at this point and this formula is really wearing thin.
We recap Shawn Michaels’ issues with British Bulldog to set up their match next week.
Kama vs. Ken Raper
Kama takes him down a few times with no issues as Cornette is already more interested in this match than he was in the entire Doink match. A spinning kick to the ribs has Raper in trouble and let’s make fun of Cornette’s weight again. Kama demands better competition and talks more trash before finishing with an STF.
Rating: D. Kama was fine for the time but he would have died as soon as MMA became a bigger thing. The strikes looked good and Kama demanding competition was fine, though it comes at the end of what feels like a very long show. Vince mocking Cornette was the most entertaining thing about the match and that was the same thing we heard in the previous match.
British Bulldog is ready for Shawn next week.
Todd Pettengill tells us how to call in for updates from the press conference, for a nominal fee of course.
Overall Rating: D-. The featured match was long with a lame ending, the interview showed how bad Taylor was in the role and the squashes were bad even by Raw standards. It’s a bad show and more of a reason why this period is almost never talked about. Not a good show in any real way and that’s a sad way to celebrate such a milestone.
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Monday Night Raw – February 6, 1995: Big, Bad and….Well More Bad
Monday Night Raw Date: February 6, 1995 Location: Manatee Civic Center, Palmetto, Florida Attendance: 2,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Shawn Michaels
We’re fresh off the Royal Rumble and that means it’s time to build towards Shawn vs. Diesel in about two months. Shawn being on commentary for these shows is a good idea as he’s certainly entertaining and one of the few heels who doesn’t wear out his welcome when he’s out there all night. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of last week’s Royal Rumble Challenge between King Kong Bundy and Mabel with Bundy getting some help to win, because MABEL requires assistance. Tonight it’s a six man tag.
Opening sequence.
Lex Luger/Men on a Mission vs. IRS/Tatanka/King Kong Bundy
IRS has the massive Undertaker Urn with him after “repossessing” it at the Rumble but there’s no Ted DiBiase in sight. Bundy and Mabel start things off with the heavy forearms to the chest, because that’s about all they’re capable of doing. Oh and splashes of course but we’ll save that for when it gets serious.
Mabel hits something like an enziguri for two and it’s off to the worthless Mo, who can’t slam Bundy. IRS comes in for some elbows but Mo hits one of the worst dropkicks I’ve seen in recent memory to come back. Thankfully that goes nowhere and it’s off to Tatanka for some chops to the head as we go to a break. Back with Tatanka bailing from Mabel, likely repelled by the magical powers of purple and gold. Mabel drops the big fat elbow and it’s off to Luger for the showdown with his former friend.
Naturally Tatanka hands it off to IRS instead, showing that he’s learning the heel arts. For some reason Luger thinks it’s a good idea to bring Mo back in. Must be the steroids getting to his head. The slow beating continues with a variety of whips and chops, likely because Mo can’t be trusted to take anything more complicated.
Mo gets sent into the corner where a far too sweaty IRS grabs an abdominal stretch. Even a sunset flip looks horrible until Mabel knocks IRS down from the apron for two. Bundy finally misses a charge in the corner and the hot tag brings in Luger to a lukewarm reaction at best. Everything breaks down and Luger slams Bundy but Tatanka gets in a DDT to give Bundy the pin.
Rating: F. This was FIFTEEN MINUTES LONG and Luger took the pin? They really thought this was the best idea for the opening of Monday Night Raw? I knew 1995 was terrible but dang I didn’t realize it was this bad. The ending is the worst part though and I have no idea what the heck they were thinking.
Man Mountain Rock compares playing guitar to winning the WWF World Title.
Lawrence Taylor’s agent reads a statement basically saying he’s sorry and if Bam Bam Bigelow keeps calling him out, Lawrence will sue.
Bam Bam Bigelow Slim Jim ad. These really didn’t last long as it turned out that Randy Savage might have had just a bit more charisma. Slim Jim knew this too and took the campaign to WCW instead. You know, because they’re smart.
Man Mountain Rock vs. Charlie Hunter
Rock plays some guitar before the match. Hunter slides between the legs to start but a hiptoss fails as badly as you would expect it to. Some big elbows have Hunter in trouble and Rock drops a splash for good measure. A nerve hold of all things kills even more time as this is already feeling long. Rock finishes him with a gordbuster. Too short to rate but this didn’t quite, ahem, rock. For you trivia people: Rock’s theme song would later be used by Droz and Prince Albert.
We look at Shawn Michaels coming out to stare Diesel down over the weekend.
Diesel sits down with Vince to talk about facing both Hart Brothers recently. His knees are banged up but he’ll be ready for Shawn. We talk about all of Diesel’s celebrity appearances and….my goodness Diesel just does not look right in this role. He’ll be ready to face Jeff Jarrett in two weeks though.
Shawn will debut his new bodyguard soon.
Mantaur vs. Leroy Howard
Howard has a good look (Think Ice Train if you remember him. If not…yeah I’ve got nothing for you.). Mantaur misses a charge in the corner to start but is still able to catch Howard’s (who has some size) high crossbody. We hit the standard big man offense until Howard hits a clothesline and a dropkick, only to get caught in a World’s Strongest Slam. Jim Cornette screams at Mantaur to stay on him and you can imagine him wanting to kill someone for being stuck managing a character like this. A belly to belly ends Howard.
Rating: D. Howard wasn’t half bad but there’s only so much you can do when you’re stuck against Mantaur. I’m not sure what else anyone was expecting here, but what was anyone expecting when they came up with Mantaur? It’s really one of the worst gimmicks ever and there’s no way around that.
Razor Ramon vs. Frank Lancaster
They trade arm work to start as Shawn catches himself complimenting Razor, which doesn’t sit well with him. Shawn: “Give me a second. I’ll cut him down in just a minute.” Razor shrugs off some chops and beats up Lancaster in the corner without much effort. An abdominal stretch goes nowhere so let’s talk about the current events for some reason. The belly to back superplex sets up the Razor’s Ramon to put Frank away.
Rating: D+. Eh Razor is at least better than Mantaur. An understatement I know but there’s only so much you can say about a match like this. Believe it or not, Razor would be in the Intercontinental Title picture around this point and recently lost the title at the Royal Rumble. Just a squash here.
Henry Godwinn vs. Bill Weaver
Weaver misses an early dropkick and Henry hits him with a wheelbarrow slam. This match’s time filler: wrestlers’ favorite cartoon characters. Henry hits a big clothesline and elbow drop, followed by the Slop Drop for the quick pin. Much better squash here.
Vince tells us that there’s no show next week but Shawn has worse news: he won’t be doing commentary anymore because it makes him too big of a target. They better have a good replacement because he’s one of the only good things about these shows.
Overall Rating: D-. This was the show of big slow squashes and that’s not a good thing. They’re in the slow build to a bad Wrestlemania and that’s a really boring stretch. There’s only so much you can do when you have heel Henry Godwinn and Mantaur as featured acts, plus Luger losing to Bundy when Mo is available to take the fall. Really bad show here, but that’s what you have to expect at this point.
Remember: no February 13 show so the next one is February 20.
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Starrcade 1990
Date: December 16, 1990
Location: Kiel Auditorium, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 7,200
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul E. Dangerously
This is a double concept show and that’s not a good thing. First of all, we have Sting vs. the Black Scorpion, a magician who claims to be Sting’s former partner and makes children disappear. There’s also a major tag team tournament, which will dominate most of the show. In addition to those things, this show has a very different look to it and I mean that literally. The arena is lit much better than the old arenas you would see in the 80s and it’s a massive improvement. The show looks much more modern as a result and it would stay that way for years to come. Let’s get to it.
The show is being sent to the troops in the Gulf War so we have a big presentation of the National Anthem.
Before I forget, the tag tournament is called the Pat O’Connor Memorial Tag Team Tournament. O’Connor was a former NWA Champion and a famous tag wrestler who had passed away about three months before this show. The tournament is being held in his honor.
Bobby Eaton vs. Z-Man
The Z-Man is somewhat more famous as Tom Zenk and is allegedly on a thirty five match winning streak. This is Eaton’s major solo debut after Cornette and Lane left to make their own company in Smoky Mountain Wrestling. Soon after the match begins we’re informed that Ric Flair is out of the world tag team title street fight against Doom and will be replaced by Barry Windham.
Feeling out process to start with both guys going for the arm until Z-Man jumps from the mat to the top rope and hits a spinning cross body for two. For 1990, that’s a HUGE spot. Z-Man takes him down into a hammerlock as Dangerously talks about Eaton breaking up the Midnight Express because Eaton’s partner was dating Yoko Ono. Point for a funny line if nothing else.
Eaton comes back with some hard right hands but he lets Z-Man get up instead of following in on him. A quick dropkick gets two for Z-Man and it’s back to the armbar. Eaton reverses into one of his own as they take a breather. Bobby puts him on the ramp (there’s now a ramp leading from the entrance down to the ring) but Z-Man suplexes Eaton out of the ring and onto the ramp. A BIG dive from the ring onto Bobby fires up the crowd again but Z-Man can’t pin him out there.
Back in and Ross says that Dangerously is a “psychoceramic. You know, a crackpot.” Eaton hits a quick bulldog to set up a top rope legdrop but doesn’t cover for some reason. Instead he misses a charge into the corner and gets caught by a dropkick for two. Eaton comes back with a neckbreaker but he jumps into a kick to the chest. Now Z-Man goes up, only to miss the missile dropkick, allowing Eaton to roll him up for the pin.
Rating: C+. See, THIS is the kind of match you should open things up with. It was fast paced, it was exciting, and the fans are into the show now. Eaton and Z-Man both looked good out there and the fans were way into it. St. Louis has always been a good wrestling town and they responded well to the opener which is always a good sign.
Pat O’Connor Memorial Tag Team Tournament Quarter-Finals: Steiner Brothers vs. Colonel DeKlerk/Sgt. Krueger
DeKlerk is much more famous as Rocco Rock from Public Enemy. Krueger may or may not be Matt Borne, who is more famous as the original Doink the Clown in the WWF. Their team has a military theme obviously. The Steiners are the US Tag Team Champions here and this is USA (#1 seed) vs. South Africa (#8 seed) with four Americans in there I believe. The Steiners come out to the Star Spangled Banner for good measure.
Krueger and Rick start things off with the Sergeant taking it down to the mat. Rick, a former collegiate champion, has no problem hanging with him down there and comes back with a HARD Steiner Line. Off to DeKlerk who hits a quick leg lariat to send Rick to the floor. The Colonel hits a HUGE flip dive over the top which again was unheard of in 1990. Off to Scott who by this point was a monster and was considered as a future world champion. After running over DeKlerk with a clothesline, the Frankensteiner ends DeKlerk with ease. This was barely two minutes long but the flips by DeKlerk were awesome.
Pat O’Connor Memorial Tag Team Tournament Quarter-Finals: Chris Adams/Norman Smiley vs. Konnan/Rey Mysterio
Adams and Smiley are British and the #5 seed while Konnan and Mysterio are from Mexico and the #4 seed. There’s a lot to talk about here. First of all, Adams is most famous as a trainer, having taught Steve Austin to wrestle, as well as popularizing the superkick as a finishing move in North America. Smiley would be much more famous as a comedy character later on in WCW. Konnan was nothing of note at this point but soon would become the biggest star in Mexico. Mysterio isn’t the famous version but rather the original here and the uncle of the more famous one.
Mysterio and Smiley start things off but Konnan comes in as well, only to get caught in a double armdrag. Adams comes in as well and things get very fast paced in a hurry with the Mexican team being dropkicked out to the floor. Mysterio comes back in to pop Adams in the face with a right hand, only to be superkicked HARD out to the floor. Rey tries to remember what planet he’s on so he brings in Konnan instead. Konnan climbs the top rope with a wristlock on Smiley to send him flying, only to get caught in a rolling cradle for two.
This is going too fast to be able to keep up with. Konnan gets caught in the British corner and jumped by Adams who puts on a chinlock. Mysterio comes in sans tag for an attempted double team but Smiley dropkicks both of them down. A superkick sends Konnan into a German suplex by Smiley but it’s Mysterio making the save again.
Adams comes back in to crank on Konnan’s arm some more before clotheslining him down for no cover. Back to Smiley but Mysterio comes in again without a tag to elbow Chris down. Konnan takes Adams into the corner and sits him on the top rope facing the crowd before hitting a kind of reverse suplex down for the pin to advance.
Rating: B-. This was a very fast paced and exciting match with all four guys moving faster than anyone else would have at this point. Konnan would go on to become a huge star in Mexico while Mysterio’s nephew would become one of the biggest stars in the world. Good match here though which would have had the crowds going nuts six years later or so.
Mysterio dives over the top to take down Adams post match for no apparent reason.
Pat O’Connor Memorial Tag Team Tournament Quarter-Finals: Royal Family vs. Mr. Saito/Great Muta
Muta and Saito are the #2 team and obviously are from Japan. The Royal Family are the #7 seed, from New Zealand, and comprised of Rip Morgan and Jack Victory. Morgan actually is from New Zealand while Victory is most famous for his time in Texas and ECW. Muta and Victory start things off with no one being able to get an advantage. Victory gets a shoulder block to take Muta down, only to be sent to the ramp and hit with a big dive over the top by Muta.
We head back inside and it’s off to Saito vs. Morgan with Saito taking over with a clothesline and snap suplex. Back to Victory as the fans are silent for this yet again, other than when Muta is in there. Saito cranks on the arm until it’s back to Muta vs. Morgan with Muta hitting a big spin kick to take Rip down before working on the leg. Saito comes back in and loads up a Scorpion Deathlock of all things before Victory makes the save.
Jack kicks Saito in the back and the New Zealanders take over. Once on the floor, Saito is sent into the post but doesn’t seem to mind it too bad. Back inside and Morgan misses a middle rope legdrop and here’s Muta again for the handspring elbow. Everything breaks down and Morgan accidentally knocks Victory into a German suplex by Muta to send the Japanese team to the next round.
Rating: C-. The crowd reaction here explains the problem with the entire tournament: other than the Americans and Muta, the fans have almost no idea who these people are, and therefore they don’t care. Look at the match before this. The fans have no reason to care about any of these guys so they sit on their hands for five minutes while the guys have their matches. It makes for an odd show with decent to pretty good matches, which again isn’t what you want to see at Starrcade.
Pat O’Connor Memorial Tag Team Tournament Quarter-Finals: Victor Zanigev/Salman Hashimikov vs. Troy Montour/Danny Johnson
Montour and Johnson are the #6 seeded Canadians. I’ve never heard of either of them outside of this match, which makes me think that the rankings are even more bogus than I initially thought. The Soviets are the #3 seed and neither of them ever did anything of note in the United States. Hashimikov was the IWGP (New Japan’s top title) Heavyweight Champion earlier on in his career but that’s about it. Johnson is nicknamed Bull and is dressed like an American Indian. The Soviets are both very hairy men.
Victor and Johnson start things off with Victor (like I’m going to try to type their last names over and over again) easily taking him to the mat and putting him in a bow and arrow hold. Troy breaks it up and Danny tries a headscissors, only to have Victor spin around like a madman to escape. A belly to belly suplex gets two on Bull as it’s clear the Canadians have no chance in this. Off to Troy vs. Salman with the latter easily suplexing him down and putting on an armbar, to which Troy has no idea how to react. The match ends in a submission win for the Soviets but Troy doesn’t seem to get that.
Rating: D. Blame this one entirely on the Canadians. The Soviets needed to be in there with guys like the Steiners instead of two fat schmucks that are glorified jobbers. The Soviets were fun to watch out there, but they might as well have been wrestling cardboard boxes, which is a shame.
Here are the brackets after the first round:
Steiner Brothers
Konnan/Rey Mysterio
Great Muta/Mr. Saito
Victor Zanigev/Salman Hashimikov
Terry Taylor vs. Michael Wallstreet
Wallstreet is Mike Rotundo in a gimmick where he was managed by Alexandra York. The idea was she would use a computer to figure out the perfect strategy for Wallstreet to use and figure out how much time it should take Wallstreet to win. York has said that Wallstreet should need 8:32 or less to win the match so we have a clock counting down on the screen. Taylor starts out fast and knocks Wallstreet out to the floor, causing York to bring over papers for him to look at.
Back in and Taylor puts on a headlock to slow things down as we have seven minutes left on the clock. They get up again but Taylor hits a quick clothesline for a two count. Wallstreet puts on an armbar to slow things down again before catching a charging Taylor in a backbreaker for no cover. A vertical suplex gets no cover again but a legdrop does get two. Wallstreet puts on an abdominal stretch with an illegal grab of the ropes with four minutes to go.
The referee finally catches him and breaks the hold, followed by Wallstreet missing a dropkick. A backdrop puts Michael down again and there’s a knee drop to the face for two. Taylor gets another two off a belly to back suplex before hitting his Five Arm (get it?) but York puts Wallstreet’s feet in the ropes to break up the pin. Back up and Wallstreet hits a stun gun (flapjack into a clothesline on the top rope) and the Stock Market Crash (Samoan Drop) for the pin with 1:40 remaining on the clock.
Rating: D+. Again not much to see here, but Wallstreet’s gimmick was at least original. Fortunately for him it would only be around for a few more months as he would bail to the WWF and become IRS, a tax agent. Interestingly enough, it would be Taylor who would take his place in the York Foundation which would eventually add more members.
Motor City Madman/Big Cat vs. Skyscrapers
The Skyscrapers are Sid Vicious, a Horseman at the moment, and Dan Spivey, who are two monsters who liked to destroy people. The Madman and Big Cat went after Sid on a recent Clash of the Champions, so tonight it’s a reunion with Spivey to hurt the annoying guys. It’s a big brawl to start with the Madman being sent to the apron. A double backdrop puts Cat down and a double powerbomb ends the Madman after about a minute. Total and complete domination here.
The Skyscrapers don’t want to talk to Dangerously.
Sting says he’s ready for the Black Scorpion to be unmasked.
Ricky Morton/Tommy Rich vs. Fabulous Freebirds
The Birds are Michael Hayes and Jimmy Garvin and claim to be the greatest rock and roll band in the world, meaning they come complete with a roadie named Little Richard Marley. Morton is tagging with Rich here because Gibson has a bad knee injury. Morton and Garvin get things going and it’s Morton hitting dropkicks all around, knocking both Freebirds and Marley to the floor.
Off to Hayes as the fans are all over the Birds. Michael is immediately caught in an atomic drop and we go to the floor where Gibson hits Hayes in the back, allowing Morton to ram him into the post. Back in and Hayes misses a knee drop, allowing Morton to put on a Figure Four. The Birds break up the hold and bail to the floor as the stalling continues. Garvin wants to fight Rich, but Jimmy is quickly taken down.
Marley is brought in as the Birds get beaten up again. Back in and Hayes hits his great left hand on Rich, only to have his DDT blocked. Back to Morton vs. Garvin and Ricky starts cleaning house. Everything breaks down and Marley tries to come in off the top to break Morton’s leg, only to have Gibson shove him into Garvin instead. Jimmy goes after Marley, allowing Ricky to roll up Garvin for the pin.
Rating: D. This was a glorified comedy match and not much more. Apparently the Birds were the guys that injured Gibson’s leg in the first place so there was a story behind it. The problem is that the Freebirds are almost all talk and little substance, so their matches tended to be absolutely terrible. Not much to see here but it gave the fans a breather.
Post match the Freebirds beat up Marley until Morton and Rich make the save. The problem is that allows the Freebirds to clothesline Gibson down on the ramp.
Pat O’Connor Memorial Tag Team Tournament Semi-Finals: Steiner Brothers vs. Konnan/Rey Mysterio
Everyone here is a good guy. Rick and Konnan start with Konnan trying to take it to the mat for some reason. He manages to hook a modified Indian Deathlock but Rick easily escapes and brings in Scott. The younger Steiner (Scott) wants nothing to do with this wrestling stuff and powerslams Konnan half to death. Scott puts Konnan on his shoulders so Rick can bulldog him off the top for two, bringing in Mysterio while Konnan tries to remember what his name is. Scott easily takes Mysterio down as well before it’s back to Rick, who easily counters a rana into a powerbomb to pin Mysterio. Short and dominant.
Pat O’Connor Memorial Tag Team Tournament Semi-Finals: Victor Zanigev/Salman Hashimikov vs. Great Muta/Mr. Saito
Victor and Muta start things off and they do a fast paced technical sequence with neither being able to get an advantage. Victor grabs a quick German suplex for two and it’s off to the much larger Saito. The Russian immediately takes him down in an armbar but Saito pulls him up and brings in Salman for a power vs. power match.
Salman takes Saito down and puts on a Boston Crab but Muta kicks him in the back to break it up. Back to Victor and Saito immediately puts him in a Scorpion Deathlock but he lets it go very quickly. Salman suplexes Muta down a few times so it’s back to Saito vs. Victor with the former hitting a quick belly to back suplex to eliminate the Russians and go on to the finals.
Rating: D+. This show is filled with very short matches and it’s almost impossible to care about the majority of them since there’s almost no time for the matches to develop. This is another good example as the fans don’t care about most of the people in there (because the wrestlers are total strangers) and the match is only three minutes long, so why should the fans care at all?
Doom is ready for the Horsemen.
US Title: Lex Luger vs. Stan Hansen
Hansen is a crazy Texan who took the title from Luger in October in a big upset, ending Luger year and a half reign. This is a Texas lariat match, meaning you’re attached to your opponent by the wrist and you have to touch all four buckles. Hansen jumps Luger to start and hiptosses him down but Luger comes back with right hands of his own. Stan is fine with that and beats on Luger with the rope before choking away in the corner. Lex fires off more right hands and we head to the floor for choking with the rope.
Stan gets in a chair to Luger’s back before they head back inside to slug it out even more. This is much more of a fight than a match. A clothesline puts Hansen down and Luger goes for a cover out of instinct. Instead Luger goes to two straight corners but gets suplexed down before he can get to a third. Hansen wraps the rope around Luger’s neck and drags him around to touch some buckles before Lex breaks the momentum, ending the streak.
Tired of wrestling, Hansen throws the rope around Luger’s neck and tosses him over the top rope to hang him. Well when nothing else works, go for the murder I guess. Back in and Hansen drops an elbow before touching three buckles, only to have Luger pop up with a clothesline. Stan chokes away but they go back outside with Hansen being clotheslined down and sent into the post.
Back in and Luger starts dragging Hansen around but Stan holds back after the third buckle. Lex finally pulls away and gets the fourth buckle but the referee goes down at the same time. Another referee comes out as Hansen starts touching buckles with Luger tied around the throat again. Hansen gets a third buckle as the original referee is waking up. Stan knocks Luger out and touches the fourth buckle to retain the title.
Rating: D+. As usual, these matches become the same thing over and over again: one guy gets close and then momentum is stopped, meaning we have to keep going. Hansen being completely insane helped the match a lot and Luger was still insanely popular, so the crowd was into it. That didn’t stop the match from being rather dull though.
Scratch that result actually as the original referee says Luger got the fourth buckle and is the new champion.
Tag Titles: Doom vs. Arn Anderson/Barry Windham
Doom is defending (the WCW tag titles, which are newly formed as the NWA Tag Titles are a thing of the past) and this is a street fight, meaning anything goes. The champions have unmasked since last year and now have former referee Teddy Long as their manager. It’s a big brawl to start with Simmons slamming Windham on the ramp. Arn makes the save and whips Ron with a belt as I’m barely going to be able to keep track of what’s going on here. Windham suplexes Reed in the ring for two as Simmons whips Anderson with a belt.
Reed hits Barry in the face as Anderson hits Simmons in the knee with a chair. Now Barry goes face first into the post and is busted open. Windham comes back with a belly to back suplex on the floor as Anderson is whipping Ron back near the ring. At least they’re all near each other now. Everyone but Reed gets in the ring now with Windham pounding on Simmons with a belt around his fist. Now Barry gets a chair to blast Simmons in the shoulder as Ron is taking a beating.
On the floor, Reed sends Arn into the barricade as Simmons hits a BIG spinebuster on Windham for two. Reed is back in now to pound on Windham as everyone is finally in the ring at the same time. Simmons gorilla presses Anderson down but Barry hits Ron low as he goes up top. There’s Barry’s superplex finisher but Simmons kicks out at two. Now Butch goes up top for a shoulder block on Anderson, only to get caught in a DDT by Windham.
Anderson brings the chair back in but gets it shoved down onto his own head by Simmons for two. Reed chokes on Barry with the chair but Anderson makes the save and sends Reed to the floor. Anderson goes to the middle rope but Reed saves Simmons, allowing Ron to clothesline him out of the air. Windham blasts Reed and it’s a double pin as Barry pins Butch and Ron pins Anderson at the same time, which means Doom retains the belts.
Rating: A-. Great brawl here with a bad ending. This would lead to another rematch between the two teams with Doom retaining the titles once and for all. Still though, after everything else we’ve sat through tonight, this was a big breath of fresh air and a great fight. Doom would drop the titles in a few months and split up in March.
Both teams brawl up the ramp as the fight still isn’t over.
Pat O’Connor Memorial Tag Team Tournament Finals: Great Muta/Mr. Saito vs. Steiner Brothers
There’s a special guest Japanese referee. Dangerously picks the Japanese guys because they make better cars. Scott and Muta get things going with Muta firing off the kicks to take Scotty down. Scott comes right back with a rolling leg lock into a half crab which I didn’t think he was capable of doing. Off to Rick and the fans bark (I believe I’ve neglected to mention that his nickname was the Dog Faced Gremlin) on cue. Rick Steiner Lines Muta down and it’s off to Saito for a brawl.
Rick gets pounded down so he busts out a dropkick of all things followed by a HARD Steiner Line. Muta goes up top and gets crotched as he tries to come in, keeping the advantage in America. Saito bows in respect to Rick so he kicks Saito in the face. A BIG USA chant breaks out as Scotty gets the tag to face Muta. The Great one knocks Scott back into the corner and hits the handspring elbow but an attempt at a second one results in Muta’s face hitting Scott’s boot.
A belly to belly suplex gets two on Muta so it’s back to Saito. Scott fires off some hard right hands and a back elbow to the face before it’s off to Rick, who walks into a suplex. Saito and Rick collide to put both guys down (Ross: “That was like a Ford hitting a Honda.”) but it’s Muta in off the tag. Rick is sent to the floor where Saito can ram him into the post before Muta blasts Rick in the head with a bell.
Saito whips Rick into a hard clothesline from Rick as the Japanese are playing full on heels in this match, despite being gentlemen all night. Back in and Saito comes in off the middle rope with a shot to the ribs before it’s off to a choke. Saito keeps choking long enough for Muta to come in off the top with an elbow to Rick’s back. It’s back to Muta who walks into a Steiner Line and there’s the hot tag to Scott.
A tiger driver gets two on Muta as everything breaks down. Saito hits the Saito Suplex (modified belly to back) on Scott for two and the Japanese guys hit a spike piledriver for good measure. Rick breaks up the count but Muta is already posing. A blind tag brings in Rick, who comes in off the top with a sunset flip on Saito for the pin and the tournament championship.
Rating: B-. This wasn’t terrible but at the same time it didn’t work all that well. They were going with pure American patriotism to carry the match which worked well enough given the crowd reaction, but the wrestling was only decent. The Steiners winning was the right move, unless you wanted to have the Japanese guys cheat like nuts to win and set up a future title match between the teams. Still though, not bad.
The Steiners are presented with a very tall trophy and the O’Connor family is recognized. Rick and Scott dedicate the win to the troops in Saudi Arabia. This speech allows the cage to be constructed.
NWA World Title: Sting vs. Black Scorpion
Dick the Bruiser, a famously tough guy is guest referee. The Scorpion is just a guy in black pants, a black shirt and a black mask. Behind him are two more Black Scorpions in identical attire. There’s a fourth one is in a singlet instead of a black shirt. Now what looks like a spaceship/big pod lowers from the ceiling and the Scorpion’s voice comes over the speakers, saying this is the REAL Black Scorpion. The pod opens up and we see another Scorpion in the same attire with a silver cape. He’s average size and is a white man. If he loses tonight, the Scorpion must unmask.
Both guys are in the cage now and the Scorpion is a rather spry one. There’s the bell and we’re ready to go. They lock up with the four other Scorpions at ringside watching. Sting grabs a headlock but gets suplexed out of it with ease. An elbow drop misses and the fans start chanting the name of the man who is under the mask. I’ll save it for later in case you don’t know who it actually is. The Scorpion gets in a right hand to the ribs and pounds Sting down but Sting comes back with a hip toss. Pedestrian stuff so far.
A clothesline puts Sting down and a gutwrench suplex gets two. Fans are shouting the Scorpion’s name now. Off to a triangle choke by the Scorpion followed by some choking but the Bruiser won’t allow it. Back up and a hard whip into the corner has Sting in big trouble. An atomic drop sets up a clothesline in the corner on Sting and we hit a chinlock. The Scorpion has to wrestle a very basic style to hide his identity and it makes for a very boring match as a result.
Back up again and the Scorpion pounds on Sting’s face with lefts and rights but the champion fires back. The comeback is short lived though as Sting misses a cross body and hits the cage (first time it’s been a factor) to give the Scorpion two. They get back up and the Scorpion rakes Sting’s eyes to slow him down before ramming the champion into the cage. Sting is rammed into the cage a few more times before a piledriver gets two for the challenger.
Sting starts his comeback and pounds the Scorpion down, only to be rammed into the cage one more time. A bulldog out of nowhere puts the Scorpion down and the fans pop very loudly for their hero. There’s the Stinger Splash in the corner and the Scorpion goes down. The Scorpion Deathlock goes on but the Scorpion goes into the cage.
Sting rams him into the cage and rips the mask off to reveal….a silver mask. Sting pounds away even more and whips the Scorpion into the cage a few times before gorilla pressing him into the wall yet again. A jumping clothesline puts the Scorpion down and a top rope cross body retains the title.
Rating: D. This just did not work. As mentioned, the Scorpion had to wrestle a very generic style and it’s hard to buy a generic masked guy as having a real chance against the world champion. It was nearly fifteen minutes of choking and a few shots to Sting’s back before Sting’s comeback and win. The feud sucked leading up to the match though so why should I be surprised that the match sucked too?
Post match the other Scorpions come in but Sting and the Bruiser fight them off. They rip the Scorpions’ masks off (revealing various wrestlers from the international tag teams) but the real Scorpion is trying to escape. Arn Anderson and Barry Windham run out to beat up Sting as well while the other Scorpions hold the Bruiser back. The Scorpion beats on Sting with a chair but here are Z-Man and Ricky Morton to try to make the save. The Steiners come out with bolt cutters to cut the lock on the cage and make the save for Sting. Sting comes back and rips the mask off to reveal….Ric Flair of course. Who else could it have been?
Overall Rating: D. This show comes off like an engine that has a short in it. It keeps trying to start but then sputters and dies without ever getting going. The tournament matches just cripple everything here, as they last like five minutes at most until you get to the finals and then it’s nothing special. This was a terrible year for WCW and the booker (Ole Anderson) was fired literally about five minutes after the show went off the air. Nothing to see here other than the street fight, which unfortunately is rather short.
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