So many wrestlers write their life stories and would make you think that they’re the greatest wrestlers of all time. In Luger’s case though, it’s much more along the lines of “I was a great athlete, I was in awesome shape, and I won some titles.” That’s a very rare case of a wrestler being realistic about his skills and not spending two hundred pages bragging about how amazing they were.
The book is a pretty straightforward guided tour of Luger’s life and career with an especially detailed look at his journey to becoming a born again Christian. In this case though it’s not like Bill Watts, who basically beat you over the head with it. With Luger, it’s basically “My life sucked, I did a bunch of stupid things, God helped me get through it and I’m a Christian. Here’s how you can be one too if you’re interested because it’s awesome.”
It doesn’t really offer any major insight into Luger’s life as it’s basically just his life story. It’s a very easy read though and I knocked it out in a few days while doing a bunch of other stuff. His fans will like it but there’s nothing really groundbreaking and it’s not that high up on the list of great wrestling books.
Royal Rumble Count-Up – 1994: That Stupid Casket Match
Royal Rumble 1994 Date: January 22, 1994
Location: Providence Civic Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Attendance: 14,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Ted DiBiase
This is one of those shows where the good stuff is good but the bad stuff is REALLY bad. The main idea here is that someone has to stop Yokozuna, and it’s going to be one of three people: Bret Hart or Lex Luger who could get the shot by winning the Rumble, or the Undertaker who has a casket match against Yoko tonight for the title. Oh….this is going to be a long night. Let’s get to it.
Vince is on commentary here and gets to do his carnival barker stuff. The guy knows how to make a show sound exciting, I have to give him that. DiBiase comes out to do commentary with McMahon due to having to retire late in 1993 due to a bunch of injuries.
Tatanka vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
Bigelow is in Ludvig Borga’s spot because Borga broke his ankle. Bigelow pounds on Tatanka to start and dropkicks him into the corner. Tatanka literally bounces off of Bigelow before coming back with a chop to take Bigelow down. A DDT puts Bam Bam down again but Tatanka goes up for a cross body, missing Bigelow by a mile. This is a REALLY hot start so far. Bigelow crushes Tatanka in the corner with a splash and things slow down somewhat.
Tatanka gets in a shot to the head and tries a top rope sunset flip, only to have Bam Bam sit on him. When all else fails, sit on the other guy. Off to a bearhug for about two minutes before Bigelow drops him with a shoulder block. Tatanka starts his war path thing so Bam Bam decks him in the head with an enziguri to drop him. The moonsault misses though and Tatanka goes up again, this time hitting the cross body for the pin.
Rating: C+. Shockingly hot opener here and if you cut the bear hug in half or so, this is a really solid match. They stuck to the formula really well here and the match was good as a result. This is one of the nice surprises in wrestling: on paper this sounded horrible but it turned out to be a pretty nice match. Good opener.
We recap the tag title match, which is a rare instance where it’s all about the challengers rather than the champions. Owen Hart was the only Hart Brother eliminated in the Survivor Series match against Shawn and his Knights, which ticked him off. Owen had been whipped into Bret on the apron and the distraction let Shawn roll Owen up for the pin.
This caused Owen to cut a heel promo, talking about how he was tired of being in Bret’s shadow and wanting a match with him to escape it. Bret of course said no, but instead offered to team up with Owen to get his brother his first championship. Owen talked about leading the team but seemed genuinely ok at this point. For some reason we also see the Quebecers losing the tag titles to the 1-2-3 Kid and Marty Jannetty for a single week for some reason.
The Harts talk about all the teams they’re going to give title shots to once they win the belts tonight.
Tag Titles: Bret Hart/Owen Hart vs. Quebecers
The Quebecers are managed by Johnny Polo, who would change his name to Raven in ECW. Pierre and Bret start things off with the challenger taking over. Off to Owen to work on the arm with his signature spinning counter to a wristlock. Off to Jacques and they botch something, but Owen hits a quick suplex to keep things on track. An enziguri gets two for Owen and it’s back to Bret.
After a bunch of rollups by Bret, everything breaks down and the Quebecers take over. Actually scratch that as Owen hits a kind of spear into a rollup for two and the Harts stand tall. It’s Bret vs. Jacques with Hart in control until it’s back to Owen for a gutwrench suplex for two. Bret comes back in, only to get powerslammed down by Pierre. A pair of knees to the back gets two and it’s back to Jacques.
That goes nowhere so Pierre comes in to jump into a boot. Owen comes back in and belly to bellys Jacques down before hooking the Sharpshooter. Pierre bulldogs Owen down for a fast save of course and it’s back to Pierre legally. Owen dropkicks both Quebecers down and it’s off to Bret again. For some reason both champions are allowed to stay in the ring for way too long. Pierre is atomic dropped to the floor, and now we get to the turning point of the match: Johnny Polo holds the ropes open to send Bret to the floor. Bret comes up holding his knee and he’s in big trouble.
Pierre rams the knee into the barricade to further the damage and the match turns into a kind of sloppy brawl on the floor. Owen finally throws Bret back into the ring and the leg work begins. Jacques puts on a half crab but Owen makes a fast save. The champions load up the Cannonball (kind of an aided Swanton) but Bret rolls away. Instead of tagging though, Bret tries the Sharpshooter….and the referee stops the match for the knee injury.
Rating: B-. This is one of those matches where you can look at it in multiple ways. From a match standpoint, it’s a standard tag match with the faces and heels doing exactly what they would be expected to do. On the other hand, the idea here was about setting up Owen’s heel turn, and the ending does that perfectly. There was no reason for Bret to not tag at the end and it sets Owen off as it should.
Post match Owen glares at Bret and paces back and forth. Bret manages to pull himself up but can barely stand up. Owen kicks the leg out, officially turning heel to HUGE booing. He leaves so here are some officials to come check on Bret. Ray Rougeau, a reporter for WWF at this point, comes out to interview Bret while he’s on his back in agony. For some reason that cracks me up.
Owen is in the back and goes on a huge tirade about how selfish Bret is and how Bret cost him the biggest match of his career. Bret is being carried to the back and has to watch this promo on the video screen. Owen’s face here is great as he unleashes all this pent up anger and frustration on Bret, saying he’ll win the Rumble because he doesn’t have to count on Bret. This would be the top feud for the next eight months or so.
Intercontinental Title: IRS vs. Razor Ramon
Guess who is defending here. JR and Gorilla Monsoon do commentary for this match. IRS goes on a big rant about how evil the crowd here is for not paying their taxes, even though they have about three months left to file. Razor goes off on IRS to start, knocking him out to the floor. IRS comes back with some forearms but Razor punches him right back down to take over again.
Ramon hits a bunch of basic stuff like atomic drops and clotheslines for some two counts, but IRS ducks under a clothesline to send Razor out to the floor. Back in and IRS goes up but jumps into a boot. For one of the only times I can EVER remember this happening, IRS avoids the foot and drops an elbow for two instead. WHY IS THAT SO HARD FOR PEOPLE TO DO???
We hit the chinlock for well over a minute before Razor fights up and hits the fallaway slam. The referee gets knocked out in the corner and IRS grabs his briefcase, only for Razor to take it back and clock him in the head with it. No referee though, so Razor loads up a belly to back superplex. There’s still no referee, so Razor sets for the Edge, only to have Shawn run out and clock him with the fake IC Title. IRS finally wakes up and pins Razor for the title.
Rating: D+. This wasn’t bad but the overbooking hurt it a lot. This should have lasted about three minutes less and it would have been a lot better. Oddly enough I don’t remember IRS being champion at all, but then again this is the remastered version so maybe they really cleaned things up.
Or maybe another referee comes out to explain the interference and the match is restarted. Razor hits the Edge to retain.
Bearer and Undertaker are making a coffin for Yoko.
We recap the world title match, which is Yoko being scared of Taker and Taker being one of the last hopes to stop the monster. Apparently the contract was signed before Yoko and company knew it was a casket match. Taker I believe debuted his popping out of the casket spot in this feud.
WWF World Title: The Undertaker vs. Yokozuna
They stare each other down to start and Taker fires off his uppercuts to stagger the champion. A clothesline puts Yoko down and another uppercut puts Yoko on the floor. Taker is sent into the steps and it’s immediately no sold, scaring Yoko to death again. There’s Old School but the jumping clothesline misses as Yoko ducks. Why does no one else ever think of doing that?
They fight over a chair on the floor which winds up going upside Yoko’s head. There’s a plastic chair to the back of the champion but Yoko grabs the trusty salt to blind Taker. Now it’s Taker’s back getting hit with the chair and we head back inside. A clothesline puts Taker down but he fights out of the casket. Taker wins a slugout in the middle of the ring but Yoko belly to belly suplexes him down. Come on. You know that’s not holding him down. Taker pops up and grabs Yoko by the throat and hits a DDT to put the champion down again.
Yoko is placed in the casket but here’s Crush to block Taker from closing it. Taker slugs him down so here’s Great Kabuki and Tenryu but Taker beats them down as well. Yoko is still out cold in the casket. Bam Bam Bigelow comes in now and it’s 4-1 in the ring. One has to wonder why Paul Bearer doesn’t go over and close the casket but this match doesn’t seem to be the most logical one. Fuji and Cornette have stolen the Urn.
Yoko finally gets out of the casket as Bearer beats up Fuji and Cornette, stealing the Urn back. He uses it to recharge Taker, who fights off all four mercenaries. Now it’s Adam Bomb to make it technically 8-1 but Taker fights everyone off with the salt bucket. Jeff Jarrett comes in as well, as do the Headshrinkers. That makes it NINE wrestlers (Yoko, Crush, Kabuki, Tenryu, Bigelow, Jarrett, Samu, Fatu, Adam Bomb) against Undertaker.
AND HE GETS UP. Diesel comes out and they get Taker in the coffin but he fights ALL OF THEM OFF. Yoko steals the Urn and hits Taker in the head with it before opening the Urn. Green smoke comes out of it and Taker now is powerless. Everyone hits a bunch of moves on him as this goes on WAY too long. After ALL THAT, Taker is put in the coffin and Yoko retains the title.
Rating: F. On a major wrestling show, The Undertaker just fought off ten men until green smoke was released to drain him of his power. I’ve seen Japanese anime that makes more sense than this. Oh and the match itself, as in the one on one part, might have gone about six minutes.
BUT IT GETS WORSE!
The heels all push the coffin away when a gong goes off. Smoke comes out of the casket…..and a FREAKING CAMERA FEED FROM INSIDE THE CASKET POPS UP ON THE SCREEN. Taker says his soul lives in everyone and he can’t be extinguished. He says there’s going to be a rebirth of the Undertaker and he won’t rest in peace. Then electrical noises go off and we get something like an inverse camera shot (as in it’s all in black and white but what is white is black and what is black is white).
Then, to REALLY hammer home the point, the image on the screen starts to rise up through the top of the screen (which should be the top of the casket, meaning it should be ramming into the people that put him in the freaking casket) and A FREAKING BODY RISES OUT OF THE TOP OF THE SCREEN. AS IN A TANGIBLE BODY (which might have been played by Marty Jannetty).
In other words, WWF just said Taker is something like Jesus. Oh and one other thing to really make sure this is stupid: YOU CAN’T SEE IT. All I can see are some quick shots of it when flashes go off. This is one of those things that embarrasses me as a wrestling fan. I mean…..WOW.
The usual Rumble interviews eat up some time.
Royal Rumble
Scott Steiner is #1 and Samu is #2. Also the intervals are every 90 seconds this year so the entrances will come in faster than ever. Scott pounds away to start and hits a butterfly suplex as Samu tries to hang on. He does indeed survive and kills Scott with a clothesline. Rick Steiner is #3 and Samu is in BIG trouble. After some suplexes he’s out very quickly (but not before getting his head caught in the top and middle rope which is always kind of scary looking), giving us the Battle of the Steiners.
That battle literally lasts six seconds as Kwang (Savio Vega in a mask, allegedly Asian here) is #4. Scott suplexes Kwang down and Owen Hart is #5 to BIG heel heat. The heels take over and Owen actually dumps Rick out. That’s one of the rare times where the constant pushing against the ropes worked. Bart Gunn is #6 and things speed up a bit. No one really does anything so here’s Diesel at #7. This is where things pick up as this match is without a doubt Diesel’s coming out party.
He beats on everyone and throws out Bart, Scott, Owen and Kwang inside of 45 seconds. Bob Backlund is #8 and immediately goes for the leg. He actually gets Diesel up against the ropes and upside down, but Diesel will have none of that. Who would believe these two would have a world title match in Madison Square Garden later in the year? Backlund is gone quickly. Billy Gunn is #9 and doesn’t even last fifteen seconds.
We cut to the back where Kabuki and Tenryu are destroying Lex Luger. After Diesel stands around for a bit, he has to throw out Virgil who is #10 in about thirty seconds (causing DiBiase to laugh loudly and get in some good verbal jabs). Note that the fans are LOUDLY chanting for Diesel here, who had NEVER gotten a reaction until this point. No one has been able to stand up to Diesel at all so far. #11 is Randy Savage. This should be a bit better challenge I’d think.
Savage goes right for him and pounds away on the big man in the corner before peppering him with jabs. He has Diesel in trouble but Jeff Jarrett is #12 to save the not yet Big Daddy Cool. We hear about Jarrett wanting to become WWF Champion so he’ll be a famous country singer in Nashville. And people wonder why he never got over until he completely changed everything about his character.
Savage is thrown to the apron by Jarrett but Randy comes back and eliminates Jeff with ease. Crush, who Savage HATES at this point, is #13. Diesel just kind of chills in the corner as Savage beats up Crush. The numbers finally catch up with Savage though until Crush eliminates him with ease. Doink is #14 and he gets beaten up as well but not tossed. Here’s his big rival Bam Bam Bigelow at #15 and it’s 3-1 now. Bigelow easily thorws the clown out ala the Spike Dudley throw from ECW.
Mabel is #16 and dang there are some big guys in there. He goes right for Diesel in a terrifying preview of Summerslam 95. Mabel cleans house until Sparky Plugg (Bob Holly as a racecar driver and debuting here as a replacement for the 1-2-3 Kid) is #17. Shawn Michaels is #18 and stares down Diesel to start. Everyone gets on Diesel and Shawn gives the final push to eliminate him. Diesel gets a VERY audible ovation and chant as he leaves.
Mo, Mabel’s totally useless partner, is #19. Nothing of note happens so here’s Greg Valentine in a one night only appearance at #20. Mabel misses a charge in the corner and Shawn is gorilla pressed by Crush but not eliminated for some reason. Tatanka comes in at #21. To recap we’ve got Plugg, Valentine, Tatanka, Mabel, Bigelow, Crush, Michaels and Mo in there. Valentine puts Michaels on the apron but can’t get him out.
Kabuki is #22 and almost everyone gangs up on Mabel to dump him out. It’s amazing how much easier it is to see with the big fat purple tub of goo out of there. Lex Luger (looking FINE after that attack like 15 minutes ago) is #23 and he cleans house. There are ten people in the ring right now but there goes Kabuki at the hands of Lex. Luger clotheslines Bigelow down and here’s Tenryu at #24.
There are WAY too many people in there right now. Like seriously, do we need FREAKING MO in there? Or Valentine? Those are bodies you could dump out and no one would care. Luger and Tenryu go at it as Shawn is almost dumped out. Bastion Booger is supposed to be #25 but he’s not here for some reason (Vince says it was supposed to be Bret Hart but more on that in a bit). I believe there are nine people in there at the moment so Booger not coming in was a good thing. Granted it was a good thing either way but you get the idea. Rick Martel is #26 and nothing happens.
For your big face pop of the match (other than Diesel): Bret Hart is #27 and limping very badly. Today, people would have a bandage on the knee and charge to the ring because modern wrestling is stupid. Fatu is #28 and DEAR FREAKING GOODNESS THROW SOMEONE OUT ALREADY! A bunch of guys team up and FINALLY throw Crush out as Marty Jannetty is #29. Naturally he goes right for Shawn and punches Shawn to the apron.
Adam Bomb is #30, giving us a ridiculous THIRTEEN FINAL PEOPLE in the Rumble. The final group is Bigelow, Sparky, Shawn, Mo (seriously, FREAKING MO?), Valentine, Tatanka, Luger, Tenryu, Martel, Hart, Fatu, Jannetty and Bomb. Bret saves Shawn (shocking I know) to dump out Sparky, thank goodness. Bret beats on everyone as we still need to get rid of more people. Everyone beats on everyone for awhile and nothing is happening. DiBiase: “The smart thing to do is go after Bret Hart’s knee.” Vince: “The smart thing to do is throw people out of the ring.” Did….did Vince just burn Ted Dibiase?
Martel dumps Valentine but is quickly dumped out by Tatanka. Luger throws out Bomb and Mo is FINALLY put out as well. Bigelow tosses Tatanka and Lex forearms Bam Bam out. Jannetty goes out to get us down to Luger, Hart, Fatu, Tenryu and Shawn. Tenryu rams Shawn and Fatu’s heads together which only hurts Shawn of course. Luger and Bret put out Tenryu and it’s Bret vs. Shawn (duh). Luger goes for Fatu’s head and gets superkicked for being stupid.
The heels put Luger on the apron but he fights them both off and clotheslines Fatu into a 360. Bret dumps Fatu and Luger dumps Shawn and we’re down to two. They slug it out and Luger picks up Bret, but they both fall out at the same time, giving us a double elimination to end the Rumble.
Rating: C+. This is a hard one to grade. The pacing is TERRIBLE with guys like Sparky Plugg and Mo staying in for over twenty minutes each, but the action is solid for the most part. The stuff with Diesel is excellent and it truly made him a star. The ending stuff once they got rid of about seven guys in 90 seconds was good too, but stuff in the middle didn’t work all that well.
Post match there’s a disagreement over who wins but both guys have their music played. This would lead to a somewhat complicated decision where there was a coin toss and two world title matches at Mania. This goes on for about eight minutes or so but it’s just the referees arguing and both guys saying they won. Replays don’t really show us anything either. They do a good job here of making it impossible to tell who won, unlike in 2005 when it was clear that one of them (I want to say Cena) hit first. They’re finally declared co-winners to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. This show is one where it’s very hard to come up with an overall grade. I really liked the opener and the tag match and Rumble were both good, but when a show has what might be the dumbest moment in wrestling history (and that covers A LOT of stupid moments), it’s brought down a lot. Early 1994 was not a good time for the WWF but once they finally picked Bret as the guy, things got a lot better.
Ratings Comparison
Tatanka vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
Original: B
Redo: C+
Quebecers vs. Bret Hart/Owen Hart
Original: A+
Redo: B-
Razor Ramon vs. IRS
Original: C+
Redo: D+
Yokozuna vs. Undertaker
Original: F
Redo: F
Royal Rumble
Original: B
Redo: C+
Overall Rating
Original: B
Redo: C-
DANG I liked this show a lot better on the first viewing.
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Survivor Series 1993 Date: November 24, 1993
Location: Boston Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 15,509
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan
This really is a transitional time for the company as the major stars of the past are all out of the picture, save for the occasional appearance by Savage. Bret is one of the top stars in the company but is taking a back seat to the more muscular and arguably more marketable Lex Luger. Hart’s time would come though. Let’s get to it.
Vince and Bobby talk a little bit about the concept and we’re ready to go.
Team IRS vs. Team Razor Ramon
IRS, Adam Bomb, Diesel, Rick Martel
Razor Ramon, 1-2-3 Kid, Marty Jannetty, Mr. Perfect
IRS and Ramon are feuding over the now face Razor’s Intercontinental Title, Martel was the guy Ramon beat for the title, Diesel (a big man and Shawn Michaels’ bodyguard) and Adam Bomb (a good sized power man) are just there to fill in spots, Jannetty and Kid (a rookie who shocked the world earlier in the year by beating Ramon on Raw) are a semi-regular tag team and Perfect….isn’t here.
Ramon talks about Perfect leaving (his back messed up again and he just kind of left for five months) but he’s got a treat for us. Razor has a surprise partner and it’s……RANDY SAVAGE! Heenan LOSES IT and the crowd does right along with him. This is when Savage wanted to murder Crush, who is in the main event tonight. Savage and Crush had been friends but Crush had turned on him and beaten Savage up, over Savage not visiting Crush when he was injured.
Heenan apparently called Perfect no showing this and Vince says Heenan was right for once. Bobby: “FOR ONCE???” Ramon and Martel start things off with Rick working on the arm. They fight for the arm and hit the mat for a bit before popping back up. Razor slaps him in the face and rolls through a cross body for two. Martel gets caught in the fall away slam (BIG pop for that) for two.
Razor hits a pair of atomic drops and a clothesline for two. Off to Adam Bomb who shoves Ramon into the corner with ease. They collide and Razor is knocked down in a bit of a surprise. They have a test of strength with Bomb controlling again before Ramon fights up and suplexes Bomb down.
Martel tries to save but elbows Bomb by mistake. Harvey Wippleman (Bomb’s manager) gets up on the apron and is knocked down, causing a big fight between IRS’ team. Ramon’s team uses common sense and lets them fight. I’ve never gotten why anyone would interfere when their opponents are doing damage to themselves. We get things settled down and it’s the Kid vs. Bomb. Kid tries a sunset flip and Bomb (about 6’8 and 300lbs) has little problem countering.
Off to Diesel who throws Kid around even harder. I’m not sure why they keep putting Kid in there against these monsters. A gutwrench powerbomb from Diesel leaves Kid laying and a big boot does the same. Kid finally hits a spin kick and it’s off to Savage who destroys the entire team, including sending Bomb into Diesel. A slam puts Diesel down and the flying elbow makes it 4-3.
Martel charges in and rams Savage face first into the buckle. Since it’s 1993, Martel’s offense has almost no effect and Savage takes over. Off to IRS who has a bit better luck as he takes Savage into the corner but gets cross bodied for two. Back to Ramon who works on the arm but as he hits the ropes, Martel hits Razor in the back to slow the Bad Guy (Razor’s nickname) down.
Bomb comes back in to power Razor around a bit but it’s quickly back to IRS who works on Razor’s back. We hit the chinlock and the heels switch a few times without tagging. Villains. Off to Macho Man again who knees IRS into the corner. A slam looks to set up the elbow but here comes Crush. Savage sees him and immediately goes after him but is sent back into the ring and rolled up by IRS for the pin and elimination.
Savage chases Crush into the back and looks for him in the locker rooms as the match is still going on. Savage doesn’t find him so we’ll continue this game later. We come back to the ring to see Bomb choking away on Jannetty and stomping him in the corner. Martel hooks an abdominal stretch for a few seconds but a corner charge hits the post and it’s back to Ramon.
Razor pounds away on IRS and hits a chokeslam followed by the Razor’s Edge for the pin and the 3-2 advantage. Everything breaks down and as Razor loads up the Edge on Martel, IRS hits him in the ribs with his briefcase. Ramon rolls to the floor and gets counted out to tie things up again. So it’s Jannetty/1-2-3 Kid vs. Martel/Bomb. The Kid gets sent to the floor and slammed down by Bomb who hits a slingshot clothesline to take the Kid down back inside.
Off to Martel as the Kid is in a lot of trouble. Martel drops some knees on the back for two as Vince says the Kid has a lot of heart. Heenan: “THEN KICK HIM IN THE HEART!” Martel jumps into a right hand to the ribs and there’s the tag to Jannetty who cleans house. Back to the Kid way too soon for a double back elbow and a sunset flip to eliminate Martel. Kid immediately tags in Jannetty who sunset flips Bomb for the pin ten seconds after Martel was eliminated. REALLY hot ending here.
Rating: B. I really liked this match as it was fast paced and a ton of fun. If you cut about five minutes from this, it’s a classic. Having Jannetty and the Kid be the survivors was a very nice surprise and it gave the fans something to cheer for. I really liked this one and it puts the show off on the right foot.
Shawn is in the back with the Intercontinental Title. There are two belts at this point as Shawn was suspended while champion but he kept the belt. That gives us two belts which presents a problem. Maybe we should put them above the ring and make the guys climb a ladder to get them while having one of the best matches ever. Anyway tonight it’s Shawn and his Knights vs. the Hart Family.
We go to a Hart Family interview earlier with Family Feud (game show) host Ray Combs. They all say that Shawn is in trouble for going after Stu recently and it’s going to be a massive Hart Attack.
Back to Shawn who says he’s not ready for the Harts and he makes fun of all five of them, including Stu. Shawn is really clicking as the insanely arrogant heel by this point.
Jannetty and Kid celebrate with Ramon. Savage is off chasing Crush.
Combs is in the ring to talk about the Hart Family being at ringside. Pay attention because it’s amazing enough to have them all in the same place without suing or trying to kill each other. Combs gets in some jokes about Shawn which aren’t really funny but this is filler stuff anyway. Vince of course laughs like there’s no tomorrow.
Hart Family vs. Shawn Michaels/Knights
Bret Hart, Keith Hart, Bruce Hart, Owen Hart
Shawn Michaels, Blue Knight, Black Knight, Red Knight
The Blue Knight is Greg Valentine, the Red Knight is Barry Horowitz and the Black Knight is Jeff Gaylord (indy guy who never meant anything on a national stage). Stu Hart is here with his sons as if there was somehow any doubt as to who was getting destroyed. Ray Combs sits in on commentary and while he’s not incredibly funny, he sounds like he’s having a blast out there and is enjoying himself which is all I ask for from a celebrity. Heenan vs. Combs on commentary is a good back and forth jab fest if nothing else.
Shawn and Owen start but Shawn wants Keith, who along with Bruce haven’t wrestled in years. Keith speeds things up and Shawn gets sent into the interfering Red Knight. Shawn tries to throw Keith into the corner but Keith takes out Red and Blue. An armdrag takes Shawn down and it’s Keith with an armbar. Shawn’s suplex attempt is countered into a small package and it’s back to the armbar.
Michaels slams Keith down and it’s off to the Red Knight vs. Owen. Owen fires off some shots to the arm and it’s off to the Black Knight. That goes nowhere at all so let’s try Bret vs. Blue. Bret hits some atomic drops and a clothesline for two. Back to Keith who continues the armbar marathon and it’s Bruce time again. Off to Shawn with a backbreaker and some elbows to the back.
Red comes in and suplexes Bruce down for two. Back to Black who is the biggest of the Knights and gets rolled up for two. It’s back to Shawn who gets rammed into the corner before Red pokes Bruce in the head. Bruce hits a clothesline and it’s off to Bret vs. Black. An O’Connor Roll and small package get two each for Bret as he takes over. The backbreaker and middle rope elbow get two and it’s off to Owen.
A spinwheel kick drops Black and everything breaks down. Shawn and all three Knights get sent into each other in the middle of the ring and a missile dropkick from Owen pins Black. Off to the Red but Owen works over his leg. Back to Bret and who helps make a wish on Red’s legs. Keith comes in again and the leg work continues.
Red tries a knee lift and hurts his own knee in the process. Some fans chant boring and they’re right in doing so. Back to Bruce who pops Red in the face. The Hitman comes in and we get another wishbone split. Red sends Keith into the buckle to escape a figure four attempt but misses a knee drop instead of tagging. Keith puts on a Figure Four but Shawn makes the save and it’s off to Blue. Those boring chants are getting a little bit louder.
Blue works over Keith’s arm and it’s off to Shawn with a top rope double ax to the arm. The shoulder gets sent into the buckle and Shawn cranks on the bad arm. Back to Red whose leg seems fine now. Rey cranks on the arm around the post which results in more double teaming. Heenan has been ripping the Harts apart the entire match, including a nice jab here: “None of them look alike.” Keep in mind this is as Keith is having his arm destroyed.
Blue stays on the arm including dropping a leg, followed by a hammerlock slam. Off to Shawn who misses a Rocket Launcher, allowing the tag to Bret, prompting Shawn to tag out to Red. Red immediately gets caught in a spinebuster and the Sharpshooter to make it 4-2. Blue comes in to clothesline Bret and both he and Keith are now hurt. Bret is thrown back in and suplexed down for two.
Blue drops a very Greg Valentine elbow and Heenan says he knows who the Blue Knight is. Vince: “Who is that?” Bobby: “The guy in the ring that just dropped an elbow on Bret Hart.” I love you Bobby Heenan. Back to Shawn for a chinlock to kill even more time. I’m not sure how much there is of it left as this has been going long already. Blue comes in for another two off another elbow as Bobby lays into Helen Hart.
Bret hits a middle rope clothesline and he makes the tag to Owen. The crowd just does not care here and the lack of any reaction is kind of sad. A middle rope elbow gets two on Blue and Bruce and Shawn come in at the same time. Shawn goes to the floor and goes after Stu, only to get BLASTED IN THE FACE. Bobby: “I’ve always liked Stu.” A missile dropkick puts Blue down and Shawn’s saving elbow hits Blue as well. Shawn is sent to the floor and the Sharpshooter eliminates Blue.
It’s 4-1 and Shawn is drinking water. All four of the Harts hammer on Shawn and it’s Bruce who gets two off an elbow drop. Bruce charges into a boot and Shawn chokes away a bit. The superkick, still not a finisher, gets two on Bruce. Bruce gets in a boot and makes the tag to Bret to a small reaction. Bret hits a slingshot to the buckle for two. Shawn gets in a kick and it’s off to Owen.
Now here’s where it gets interesting: Bret is trying to get it together on the apron and Owen is rammed into Bret, knocking him off the apron and into the barricade. Owen is distracted by the mistake, allowing Shawn to roll him up for the pin. All of the Harts go to check on Bret and Owen FREAKS, storming to the back and shouting WHAT ABOUT ME! This would start the feud of the year in 1994.
Bruce comes in and drops an elbow on Shawn for two. Bret is still getting up after the crash he took into the barricade. Bruce and Shawn hit head to head twice in a row to really stretch this thing out. Keith comes in with an abdominal stretch (including the toe around the ankle) but Shawn hip tosses out of it with ease. Back to Bret who pounds away and crotches Shawn on the top rope. Bret picks the leg but Shawn escapes the Sharpshooter and walks out for the countout.
Rating: D. This was…….long. At the end of the day it ran 30 minutes when it should have been about 15. The only thing that mattered here was Owen and the future angle vs. Bret. Shawn being in there didn’t help much, but it needed to be Jerry Lawler and without him this didn’t mean anything of note. Not a good match and the length hurt it a lot. They were against things they couldn’t really help here and that’s what brought it down a lot.
Owen comes back and gets in Bret’s face during the celebration. Stu tries to calm Owen down but Owen rants about getting no recognition and celebrates in the ring on his own. Helen, the matriarch in the audience, loses it as well.
Gorilla and JR are going to do commentary on the next match as Heenan and Vince are going to do Radio WWF, an idea which didn’t last long. During the change over, Gorilla threatens to kill Heenan as was his trademark at this point.
We recap the Foreign Fanatics vs. the All Americans. Ludvig Borga hit Tatanka with a chair and pinned him with one finger, breaking Tatanka’s two year undefeated streak. Tatanka then got beaten up by Yokozuna. This led to the Steiners and Luger picking a new partner in the Undertaker. This led to an awesome moment with Undertaker opening his coat and having an American Flag inside of it (with 13 stars for some reason). Luger then beat up Quebecer Pierre in a singles match to put him out of the pay per view. The Fanatics added the EVIL FOREIGN Hawaiian Crush.
Here’s Jim Cornette to introduce his team for a very out there match.
Smokey Mountain Wrestling Tag Titles: Heavenly Bodies vs. Rock N Roll Express
This is part of an agreement the companies had at the time which didn’t work that well. The Express (Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson, a legendary team from the 80s) are the champions and they’re defending against Tom Prichard and Jimmy Del Ray. It’s a brawl to start with the Express being sent to the floor. Gibson is pulled back in but Morton pulls both of the Bodies out to the floor. Ricky follows that up with a suicide dive to take both of them out at the same time.
Things slow down and we start with Gibson vs. Del Ray. They’re going to go very fast in this match and that’s exactly how it starts with Gibson flipping out of the corner and hitting a headscissor takeover before bringing in Morton. Prichard comes in and gets booed louder than all of the Knights in the previous match combined. Morton can’t quite get above Prichard on a leapfrog and he ducks a Del Ray superkick which takes Prichard down instead.
Both Bodies get monkey flipped out of the corner and we get the always dumb looking rowboat spot, where all four of the heels’ legs are rotated around by the good guys. Gibson works on Prichard’s leg and the Express take out Del Ray in the corner before Morton works on Prichard’s leg as well. Tom finally gets in a shot and it’s off to Del Ray who is immediately armdragged down.
In a nice move, Gibson blocks the buckle before Morton’s back hits it to prevent the Bodies from getting the advantage. It’s been all Express other than the first fifteen seconds. The Bodies have a quick huddle on the floor and the fans are bored. It’s Prichard vs. Morton now with the heels taking over for the first time since the beginning. Off to Del Ray who is suplexed down onto Morton for two.
Back to Prichard for some more choking. There wasn’t a tag but that’s why the Bodies are heels. Del Ray hits an Asai Moonsault to the floor and it’s back to Prichard in the ring who hits a powerslam for two. Off to a chinlock as this match is turning into an old school tag match of the NWA style. A Trash Compactor (a kind of spinebuster/guillotine legdrop combo) gets two but Del Ray’s powerbomb is countered into a hurricanrana for two. Ricky hooks a small package for another two and Del Ray hits a moonsault press on Morton for ANOTHER two. This is why it’s called Playing Ricky Morton. The guy was a master at it.
A double DDT puts the Bodies down and Morton rolls over to make the tag to Gibson. Now we get to the point of the match: Prichard throws Morton over the top, which is a DQ in SMW but this is in the WWF. Gibson gets confused and decked for his confusion as Morton gets beaten down even more. There’s the double dropkick to Prichard but it only gets two. Del Ray comes off the top with a tennis racket (Cornette signature) shot to Gibson for the pin and the titles.
Rating: B-. This was a strange match as from a technical standpoint it was quite good and in SMW it would have been the main event of a big show, but we’re not in SMW. We’re in the WWF here and these people don’t mean anything. There’s a deep history here of a ton of matches with various gimmicks to them, making this a huge feud. The problem is all we’re told is they’ve been feuding for years. It’s the same issue you have with Japanese or other foreign wrestlers: just being told how great they are doesn’t mean anything to most fans. We need to see these things, not be told about them.
Team Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Four Doinks
Bam Bam Bigelow, Bastion Booger, Headshrinkers
Bushwhackers, Men on a Mission
Ok. I can get through this. The Doinks are all dressed like a clown and their identities were secret until they were unveiled here. Luke comes out on a scooter, Butch has a wagon, the Men on a Mission come out on foot. Mabel needs the exercise so that’s a good idea. Notice that there’s no actual Doink in the match and the fans aren’t going to be pleased here.
A LOUD We Want Doink chant starts up and Bastion and Luke start things off. Booger is a VERY fat guy in a too small singlet in case you’re not familiar with him. Luke bites him on the ample singlet before stomping on Bastion’s foot. Afa bites Butch’s balloon and it’s off to Samu. Then he bites a water balloon and gets rolled up by Luke for the pin. Fatu comes in and Luke hurts his own head off a headbutt attempt.
Booger comes in and drops a leg on Luke and it’s off to Bigelow with a headbutt to the ribs. It’s back to Booger who sits on Luke before stopping for a banana. Another drop by Bastion misses and the Battering Ram puts him down. Mabel drops a leg on Bastion and it’s 4-2. Fatu comes in to offer meat to Luke and takes over, but here’s Mo on a scooter for a ride around the ring. Bigelow comes in and destroys the scooter and Fatu hits the top rope splash….and stops for a banana.
Butch comes in with a bucket of something….scratch that as there’s nothing in it, but Fatu slips on a banana peel as he jumps from it and Butch rolls him up for the pin. Bigelow is all that’s left and he gets to fight Mabel. Bam Bam can’t do anything to the power of fat but Mabel misses a splash. The other Doinks come in and get beaten up also but Butch throws something on Luna. Mabel splashes Bigelow and a dog pile (which is allowed) gets the pin.
Rating: F. For failure, which is one of the few words to describe how bad this was. I am in awe. We had falls from a water balloon, a banana peel and a bucket of something being thrown on Luna. On top of all that, Doink, the point of the whole thing, wasn’t even in the match despite it being a character that could be played by almost anyone.
As Bigelow is leaving, Doink (whose performer has recently changed) pops up on screen to laugh at Bam Bam. The next step in this feud: a midget named Dink of course.
The Doinks, including the real Doink, celebrate in the back. Why the REAL Doink couldn’t be in the arena isn’t answered.
The Foreign Fanatics are in the back and Cornette talks about their battle plan. He talks about how they look at the All Americans as one man. You can take a man out by taking out his heart, his mind and his soul. The Steiners are the heart, but if you take it out, he has no will to fight. The Undertaker is the mind, but if you take it out, the man is confused. Luger is the soul, but if you take it out, you’ve defeated him completely. I’ve always liked that promo.
Before the match, we get a history lesson about Boston. No seriously, this happens. Thankfully it turns into some promos from the All Americans.
Foreign Fanatics vs. All Americans
Foreign Fanatics: Yokozuna, Crush, Ludvig Borga, Jacques
All Americans: Lex Luger, Undertaker, Steiner Brothers
The Quebecers are the Tag Team Champions and have Johnny (Raven Polo) as their manager. Yokozuna is WWF World Champion. Jacques and Scott start things off and Jacques offers a handshake. Scott says screw you in classic Freakzilla style. Scott hits a quick belly to belly for two and it’s off to Rick. Jacques brings in Yokozuna and things slow down almost immediately. Rick hits a clothesline and a shoulder to knock Yokozuna out to the floor but it doesn’t do much good.
Off to Borga to knock Rick to the floor but Steiner comes back in off the top with a shoulder for no cover. Borga misses an elbow and Rick goes up again, coming off with a cross body. Borga rolls through it and Rick isn’t moving at all, giving Borga an easy pin. Rick finally starts moving and holds his leg, so I’m thinking that’s a legit injury. Rick can’t stand up on the floor.
Scott comes in next and gets to fight Jacques. Rick eventually limps off on his own power which is a good sign at least. Scott hits a great gorilla press but Crush catches a falling Jacques and I guess that’s a tag. Steiner wants nothing to do with a test of strength so Crush pounds on him a bit. A butterfly powerbomb puts Crush down and apparently Savage is back in the building. Crush kicks Scott down and here’s Macho.
Crush throws Scott down to the floor over the top but he won’t go after Savage. Randy gets sent to the back and the dull match continues as Scott may have hurt his knee on that fall. The knee gets targeted now with Crush firing away some kicks and Savage is coming back AGAIN. Scott dropkicks Crush to the floor and Crush goes after Savage for long enough to draw a countout.
Jacques goes after the injured Scott now with a rear chinlock followed by an elbow to the jaw for two. Scott somehow hits a gorilla press on Jacques and there’s the tag to Lex. He slams Jacques down and drops a middle rope elbow for the elimination. It’s now Lex, Undertaker and Scott vs. Borga and Yoko. Borga comes in to face the still limping Scott as Undertaker hasn’t been in the match yet.
Ludvig pounds on the ribs and whips Scott in the corner so he can clothesline Steiner down. Borga goes up top but gets suplexed back down for two. Yokozuna comes in and pounds away, but Scott gets in some offense. He tries the freaking Frankensteiner which goes about as well as you would expect it to, resulting in a legdrop from Yokozuna eliminating Scott to get us down to two on two.
Luger comes in as we’re almost 20 minutes in with no Undertaker yet. Borga, a Finn, waves the Japanese flag. Yokozuna misses a splash and Lex pounds away, only to get clotheslined down with ease. Off to Borga who runs Luger over again and kicks him in the ribs. Back to Yokozuna who misses a charge, and it’s FINALLY off to Undertaker.
The Dead Man hits his running DDT and sits up but a Borga distraction lets Yokozuna suplex Undertaker down. There’s the situp and another after a clothesline. A legdrop keeps Undertaker down and there’s the Banzai, but Yokozuna goes for another, and Undertaker moves. A clothesline puts Yokozuna on the floor and they brawl to a double countout. See you at the Rumble boys. Undertaker was legally in the match for less than two minutes and forty seconds.
So it’s Lex vs. Borga now and as Undertaker and Yokozuna brawl on the floor. Ludvig has taken over and drops a leg on Lex. A side slam puts Lex down for two and Borga gets more two’s off various other power moves. He isn’t covering well though so he isn’t ready to pin Luger yet. A suplex puts Borga down and they clothesline each other. With Cornette distracting the referee, Borga hits Lex with Fuji’s salt bucket for two. Lex gets fired up and hits a powerslam and the loaded forearm for the final pin.
Rating: D+. This didn’t work either. Undertaker was the main draw and he wasn’t even in there for a tenth of the match. Yokozuna vs. Undertaker would go on to screw up two PPVs and Lex would never get the title, basically making the second half of 1993 totally pointless. This match didn’t work at all, and a lot of that is due to the heel lineup. Unless there was an injury or something, I don’t get why Pierre was taken out.
Santa comes out to celebrate with Luger just like last year.
Overall Rating: D. Let’s take a look at this card: great opener, WAY too long second match with the wrong main heel, a match from another company, the banana peel/water balloon fiasco, and the main event with an evil foreign Hawaiian. This show comes off as very long and dull, with most of the matches being completely uninteresting. It was uninteresting back in the day too, as this show got the lowest buyrate in the history of the Survivor Series up to this point.
Ratings Comparison
Team Razor Ramon vs. Team IRS
Original: B
Redo: B
Hart Family vs. Team Shawn Michaels
Original: D+
Redo: D
Rock N Roll Express vs. Heavenly Bodies
Original: B
Redo: B-
Four Doinks vs. Team Bam Bam Bigelow
Original: N/A
Redo: Awe
All-Americans vs. Foreign Fanatics
Original: C-
Redo: D+
Overall Rating:
Original: C+
Redo: D
It was almost the same until the overall rating. I don’t get how it jumps up that high off just a few better grades.
Thunder Date: March 14, 2001
Location: Knoxville Civic Coliseum, Knoxville, Tennessee Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay
The long nightmare is almost over as we only have two shows left, including this one. This is the final show before Greed and things aren’t exactly looking up. Monday’s show was full of old guys having bad matches and not enough build to anything other than Sunday’s main event. Let’s get to it.
Nitro montage.
Cruiserweight Tag Team Title Tournament Semifinals: 3 Count vs. Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman
The winners get Elix Skipper and Kid Romeo at Greed. Kidman and Moore start things off with a headscissors putting Kidman down. Moore misses a slingshot hilo though and it’s Rey getting two off a moonsault. Evan comes in and gets taken down with a springboard ankle scissors (or an ankle lock according to Tenay) but he plants Rey with a spinebuster for two.
The double teaming slows things down for a bit until Rey 619s around the ropes and tags in Kidman to speed things right back up. The villains get Kidman to the floor for a whip into the barricade followed by a suplex/high crossbody combo. It’s impressive when a team can do the high flying stuff and still be heels. Evan springboards into a dropkick to the ribs and the hot tag brings in Rey to clean house.
Karagias puts him down and a 450 gets two on Rey. Bottoms Up plants Kidman (illegal) for two with Mysterio making the save, followed by a Bronco Buster to Shannon. A middle rope seated senton (not Thesz Press Mike) drops Evan and Kidman dives onto everyone. Back in and Kidman holds Moore up in a wheelbarrow suplex for a springboard missile dropkick to give Rey the pin and the spot in the finals.
Rating: C+. Standard high flying tag match here but at least the ending was a unique move. They flew around for about ten minutes and popped the crowd to open the show and that’s really all you can ask for from the cruiserweights at this point. The downside to all this though: the tournament final won’t have any of the six cruiserweights who have broken their backs for months to get the cruiserweight tag matches over. Those matches were almost all for nothing, as is the case way too often in WCW.
Skipper and Romeo come out but are quickly dispatched.
Disco Inferno and Alex Wright are eating lunch with Disco stealing food off Alex’s plate. That’s enough for Wright and the team seems to be done.
Here’s Diamond Dallas Page to say he’s still standing and ready to take the title from Scott on Sunday. This brings out Dustin Rhodes, who says he’s here on Ric Flair’s orders. Cue Ric, Jeff Jarrett and Rick Steiner to the video screen to say Scott is off tonight (because who needs him to sell a pay per view on the go home show) and Cat/Booker T. are both gone. Therefore, the main event will be Paige/Dustin vs. Jeff/Rick, which we saw just a month ago. With the three of them on the screen, here are Rick and Jeff to attack Page and Dustin from behind. The heels are quickly cleared out.
Jason Jett vs. Alex Wright
Wright is ticked off and hammers away before getting two off a powerslam. Jett sends him into the corner and gets two of his own with an enziguri. A standing moonsault lets Jett show off even more but he misses a charge in the corner. Wright gets two of his own off a good looking spinwheel kick and a top rope superplex for the same.
Alex stays aggressive by knocking Jason outside with a forearm, only to have his suplex countered into a small package. Off to a modified abdominal stretch on the mat to keep Jason in trouble. Back up and Jason crotches him on the top before hitting a Tajiri handspring elbow. Jett’s release suplex slam (the Crash Landing) is enough for the upset pin.
Rating: C+. Jett had some potential and looked like a new star in the making but unfortunately time caught up with him. You would think he would have gotten some time in the WWF but for some reason it never went anywhere. At least someone like Wright is putting him over here so they were kind of trying.
We get some more from Buff’s “documentary” with Flair and Lex Luger wondering who attacked Midajah. Ric changes gears in a hurry and puts Buff, Luger, Palumbo and O’Haire in a four way elimination.
Video on Booker T. vs. Rick Steiner.
Here’s Shawn Stasiak for a match and he has Stacy with him. Before we get to his opponents, Stacy has to talk about how awesome Shawn is. Shawn on the other hand insults the fans for being fat and tattooed because he didn’t learn a thing on Monday. Cue Reno to say he’s bald and tattooed so let’s have a match.
Shawn Stasiak vs. Reno
Stasiak takes over to start which goes against the rules of a wrestler answering a challenge. A side slam and gutwrench suplex get two each for Shawn as we hear about Reno’s pit fighting career. Reno stops a charge in the corner and grabs a suplex for two of his own. They head outside with Stasiak taking over. I guess a pit isn’t as deadly as a padded section of floor next to the ring. A top rope clothesline gets two for Shawn and he quickly escapes a Roll of the Dice into a neckbreaker to put Reno away.
Rating: D-. So is there a reason why Stasiak got this push instead of Reno? Stacy couldn’t be into the bad guy with the ponytail and tattoos instead of the muscle guy? I’d love to hear that production meeting where this was the answer they decided on. Bad, bad match here as Stasiak continues to be horrible in the ring. He’s terrible on the mic too but one problem at a time.
Stacy dances to brighten things up a bit as Stasiak autographs a picture for Reno. Bam Bam Bigelow comes out to chase Stasiak off.
Chuck Palumbo vs. Sean O’Haire vs. Lex Luger vs. Buff Bagwell
Because we’ve seen these teams in singles matches so many times that this is the best we can get. Bagwell and Palumbo get things going which is arguably one of the best two combinations. Whatever keeps Luger out of the ring at this point. Just to show you how bad of an idea this is, we almost immediately cut to a shot of the crowd and come back to Buff on the mat, meaning someone botched the heck out of something.
Sean comes in and eats a jawbreaker so it’s off to Luger for an atomic drop, giving us another crowd shot. I know the match isn’t very good but they botched that badly twice in a row? Sean gets in a suplex on Luger and tags Buff in, which lasts all of no time as Luger hits Palumbo on the apron so Buff can tag out. A quick chop block brings Palumbo down and Buff grabs a rollup to get us down to a handicap match. Sean slams Luger for two with Lex’s foot on the rope but Palumbo shoves it off to make it a pin. So it’s one on one now and a quick clothesline into the Seanton Bomb puts Buff away in a hurry.
Rating: F. It’s never a good sign when you completely run out of ideas for a feud. It’s also not a good sign when you don’t have anyone else on the roster to feed into this match so the champs could have a quick squash etc. At least O’Haire got to look like the conquering hero as his push continues to seem like it could have gone somewhere if the company had stuck around.
Totally Buff gets chased to the back.
Disco tries to get Mike Sanders to team with him tonight. Sanders so no, until Flair comes up and asks Mike to go fix a toilet, because in WCW’s world the company fixes building issues. Mike decides to team with Disco instead, albeit after taking his time thinking about it.
Video on the Rhodes Family vs. Jarrett/Flair.
Flair tells Animal to go interrogate Page about Midajah’s attack. After Animal leaves, Flair accuses Animal of doing it.
Kwee Wee vs. Shane Helms
So Kwee Wee has gone from “I should be in the heel stable” to Sanders’ wacky partner to jobbing to the #1 contender to the Cruiserweight Title. Dang he’s on a roll. I mean it’s a roll down a hill but a roll is a roll. If nothing else there’s Shane’s really cool entrance. Unfortunately there’s also a shot that shows WAY too many empty seats.
They start slowly as the announcers keep referring to Kwee Wee as Kiwi. To be fair that would probably have extended his career. Kwee Wee slams him for two as you can tell they’re not exactly interested in trying tonight. Helms gets in an armdrag to send Kwee Wee to the floor for a baseball slide followed by a high crossbody.
Back in and another crossbody puts Kwee Wee down, followed by a northern lights suplex for two. The Vertebreaker is countered into a rollup for two and Kwee Wee goes back to the slam. He tries to go a bit too high though and a top rope legdrop only hits the mat, setting up the Vertebreaker to give Shane the pin.
Rating: C-. Shane is on a roll at this point and there’s no reason for him to not win the title on Sunday. Chavo has been great with the belt but Shane is clearly the top guy in the division at the moment. It’s a rare instance of a story being well put together to set up a big title change, which you almost never see around here.
We look back at the post match shenanigans from the four way.
Hugh Morrus/Konnan vs. Mike Sanders/Disco Inferno
I guess this is a warmup for Morrus/Konnan, who are described as locker room leaders. No wonder the company went under. The bad guys jump them from behind to take over but Disco stops to dance. Disco and Konnan fight on the floor (aftermath of that music video feud), leaving Morrus to clothesline Mike over the top. We settle back into a regular tag match with Sanders elbowing Morrus off the apron to keep Konnan in trouble.
Tenay actually brings up the Dungeon of Doom and Tony sounds stunned. A chinlock doesn’t get Sanders anywhere as Tony is still on the Dungeon reference. The hot tag brings in Morrus for running splashes in the corner and a Hart Attack with Konnan playing Bret (payback for teaching him the Sharpshooter perhaps). Konnan grabs a Last Dance (Stunner) on Disco to set up the No Laughing Matter and the Tequila Sunrise.
Rating: D. For Dungeon of Doom, the highlight of the match. I got a good chuckle out of hearing Konnan and Morrus as the locker room leaders but there’s nothing wrong with throwing them together for the sake of having another midcard team. It’s not like either of them had anything to do in the first place.
Team Canada attacks post match.
Buff Bagwell finds Animal laid out with the words IT WASN’T HIM and an arrow over his unconscious body.
Video on Scott Steiner vs. Diamond Dallas Page.
Diamond Dallas Page/Dustin Rhodes vs. Jeff Jarrett/Rick Steiner
All four get their own entrances to further illustrate how this is just two singles matches at the same time. The bad guys are cleared out in an opening brawl until it’s Page and Steiner to start. Rick has already sold enough before the match so he blasts Page with a Steinerline to take over and already hands it off to Jeff. That goes nowhere so it’s time for more Steiner because he’s the veteran here and therefore needs to get the ring time.
Rick and Jeff take turns beating on Page until a jawbreaker staggers Rick enough for the hot tag to Dustin…..which the referee doesn’t see. The hot tag works a few seconds later and Rick accidentally Steinerlines the referee. Steiner powerslams Dustin and here’s Ric Flair to count the cover with Page making the save. In the melee, Jeff guitars Dustin for the pin.
Rating: D. This was your run of the mill filler match to close out a taping with the audience completely not interested. To be fair though, how interested can you be in something like this? It’s a boring match with the #1 contender having no reason to be in the match other than “Booker isn’t here”. It’s fitting that the final Thunders end with main events like this one: the big stars are in the building but they don’t feel like working this show.
A bunch of people come out for the NWO style brawl. Page escapes to say he’s still standing to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. If you couldn’t tell before, this show has turned over and died. It’s very clear that they don’t care anymore and nothing is going to change that in the last few weeks. The big stars not being here (Save for Booker who had a storyline excuse. I mean, it was a completely unnecessary storyline excuse but it’s better than nothing.) is ridiculous, but then you realize that aside from Booker and Scott Steiner, the biggest names probably are the Cat, Page and Rick Steiner. I don’t think I need to offer much more of an explanation as to why WCW wasn’t around much longer after that.
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Monday Nitro – March 12, 2001: Best Left Forgotten
Monday Nitro #281 Date: March 12, 2001
Location: Knoxville Civic Coliseum, Knoxville, Tennessee
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson
It’s Greed week and that means we’ll likely hear more about Dusty Rhodes and his rather unfunny stipulation for Sunday’s tag match. Other than that it’s time for the final push towards the pay per view, which hopefully means more of the pretty good Scott Steiner vs. Diamond Dallas Page feud. Let’s get to it.
We open with the new Mr. Electricity Jeff Jarrett coming out for a chat but Dustin Rhodes sneaks up on him and we’re off in a hurry. Jeff comes back with some right hands of his own but stops to yell at some fans. Speaking of the fans, this is a really oddly designed arena as it has the lower level of seats, then what looks like an eight foot high black wall around the arena and then the upper levels. Dustin comes back with ten punches in the corner and then the Dustbuster (Shattered Dreams) to put Jeff down.
A security camera shows most of the Magnificent Seven arriving. Buff Bagwell has a camcorder to really hammer home the NWO overtones.
After a break we see Buff filming a documentary on the team, which Flair keeps calling the elite. Ric brags about the team and talks about how he’s been waiting for this moment for twenty years. He goes on about how awesome his career was and how he’s learned to be the greatest at everything he does. This turns into a speech about how much better he is than Hogan, Savage and Piper because he’s still here. The screen starts messing up as we hear about Scott Steiner’s hit list. Jarrett comes in to complain about them not having his back. The team tries to calm him down but Ric has a plan.
We look back at Dustin beating Jarrett down, all those minutes ago.
The announcers make sure to point out that Midajah is back with the Magnificent Seven.
Now we look back at Kanyon overturning M.I. Smooth’s limo.
The new owners might be at ringside tonight.
Recap of the first round of the Cruiserweight Tag Team Title tournament.
Tony tells us something has happened in the back and spends the next fifteen seconds asking if we have the video.
Midajah has been laid out. I really hope this becomes something soon enough as otherwise that would be yet another name brought back while people like Crowbar are rapidly released as cost cutting measures.
Cruiserweight Tag Team Title Tournament Semifinals: Jung Dragons vs. Elix Skipper/Kid Romeo
The Dragons get jumped to start with Skipper using the Matrix to avoid a cross body. That always looks cool. A springboard enziguri drops Romeo but it’s way too early for Yang Time. Instead Yang dives onto Romeo and Skipper with Kaz doing the exact same thing. Elix comes in and throws Kaz with a double underhook suplex.
A spinwheel kick to the hands puts Skipper down as that black wall is really getting distracting. Until the camera pans back you can’t see more than about four rows. Everything breaks down and a Liger Bomb into a neckbreaker gets two on Yang. Romeo’s Last Kiss (Snow Plow) gets the same, followed by Yang and Elix falling out to the floor. Back in and Yang Time misses, setting up the Play of the Day to send Romeo and Skipper to the finals.
Rating: C+. This didn’t last long enough to get sloppy and everyone flew around to make the match entertaining enough. Romeo really doesn’t seem like the big deal WCW thinks he is but putting him straight into a title picture like this is one of the best things they could do for him this early.
The Magnificent Seven blames each other for Midajah’s attack. Scott wants to see Buff’s video.
Lance Storm/Mike Awesome vs. Mamalukes
It’s a big brawl to start and they’re quickly on the floor with the Canadians taking over. Things settle down with Johnny dropkicking Storm out of the air and handing it off to Vito for some bad looking right hands. Storm comes back in with a springboard missile dropkick, followed by the Awesome Bomb for the pin.
Johnny gets beaten down until Hugh Morrus and Konnan make the save.
Here’s Stacy Keibler pushing a baby carriage. PLEASE don’t let this mean David Flair is coming out next. Her baby has taught her to be happy in her life and nothing makes her happier than her man: Shawn Stasiak. Well…..it’s better than David. I think. Stasiak poses while Stacy takes off her long gray dress to reveal little black one, meaning it’s time to dance. They pull out the baby and it’s a bunch of pictures of Stasiak. Shawn: “He looks just like me.” Stasiak insults the fans for being tattooed losers so here’s Bam Bam Bigelow to interrupt. Bigelow challenges him to a match on Sunday as Stasiak bails.
The Magnificent Seven look at the footage. The tape shows all the guys leaving for some reason and a hand moving the camera before Midajah screams. Scott is furious.
Here’s Booker T. with something to say. Booker has had a great time since getting back but the Magnificent Seven has been getting on his nerves. He wants one of them out here right now for a fight. This brings out Scott Steiner to answer on behalf of someone but he’s cut off by Diamond Dallas Page. Scott doesn’t want to hear it and says if Page interferes in this match, he loses his title shot on Sunday.
Booker T. vs. Lex Luger
Luger runs in through the crowd and attacks without a bell ringing. Such villany. There’s a torture rack as the referee comes in to call for the bell. That would be the OPENING bell though and Luger hasn’t won yet. Luger charges into a boot in the corner and a side slam gets two for Booker. They head outside with Luger whipping him into the barricade before getting two off a slam. A suplex keeps Luger’s offense at its high level and we hit a bow and arrow with Luger’s knee in Booker’s back. Booker fights up and grabs a rollup out of the corner for two, followed by the normal kicks. The Bookend gives Booker the clean pin.
Rating: D. Booker was trying here but when your opponent’s big move is a suplex, you’re kind of limited in what you can get out of a match. Luger is just so worthless right now and he can’t retire soon enough. At least he’s been putting people over lately, albeit years later than he should have been.
Post match Rick Steiner comes in for the beatdown, only to have the Cat make the save. That save is cut off by Kanyon and the good guys are beaten down until Page makes the real save with a chair. The post match stuff was more interesting than the match.
Evan Karagias vs. Shane Helms
Shane’s big entrance is still cool. They trade forearms to start until Helms counters a hurricanrana into a sitout powerbomb for the first two count. Evan is right back up and missing a top rope Lionsault, only to come back with a suplex for no cover. A good looking Sugar Smack gets two for Shane but Evan hits him with a DDT and a top rope corkscrew splash for two of his own. A quick Nightmare on Helm Street sets up the Vertebreaker to give Shane the pin.
Rating: C+. Fine match but it was “you do a spot, I do a spot” until the Vertebreaker ended it. To be fair though that’s part of the problem with having the same guys fight each other so many times. You’re going to run out of stories to tell and eventually it becomes just an exchange of moves instead of a flowing match.
Chavo Guerrero Jr. comes in to plant Shane with a brainbuster post match.
Smooth punches out Disco and takes his match with Kanyon.
We recap the Rhodes Family vs. Flair/Jarrett match.
Last week Dusty and Dustin talked about the match with Dusty clearly having no idea what to say. The difference though is he can keep going long enough until he finds a coherent thought and get to the point. For instance he starts babbling about how they’re going to Greed on Sunday but can’t connect that immediately.
He says things like “well let me tell you” and “the point is” until he eventually says greed is about money, which Jarrett and Flair have enough of so it’s time to take them down. It took a long time to get there but it made enough sense which sounds better than having someone write some stupid line for him. You can see that he’s thinking through it the entire time and can see the process as he goes.
Flair and Jarrett say they’ll win.
Kanyon vs. M.I. Smooth
Smooth is suddenly limping and barely able to walk after punching out Disco with ease earlier. Kanyon drops him with a single shot and this doesn’t seem to be a match. Tony: “We may see the end of a man’s career here.” Kanyon is going to beat him so badly he can’t drive anymore? The beating continues for a bit until Kanyon goes to leave but Smooth gets to his feet and says bring it. Kanyon blasts him in the head with a chair twice in a row so Smooth crawls over to him so it’s two more chairs to the head. Smooth STILL WON’T STAY DOWN so Kanyon finally leaves.
That’s one of the dumbest segments I’ve seen in a long time. So there was no match in the first place (fine) but four hard chair shots to the head can’t put this guy down? Screw Diamond Dallas Page getting the shot. Apparently the answer to conquering Scott Steiner is to put Smooth the Limo Driver in the title match instead. What does this accomplish though?
Kanyon vs. Cat is the match at Greed and there’s no reason to believe that Smooth will be involved so what did this change? Kanyon is a villain? We already know that. Was it to give Smooth a rub? Why not give it to a regular wrestler? Nothing was improved here and that’s one of the many problems WCW has had over the years: wasting segments on people who don’t need them. Oh and again: Crowbar was a cost cutting measure but Smooth can keep a job.
Rick Steiner vs. Diamond Dallas Page
Non-title but first of all we need Scott Steiner to call Page stupid several times. Then he talks about the Earth rotating on a 51 degree angle, meaning the sun will be on his right and the dark side of the moon on his left while he eclipses Page. I could listen to the inside of Steiner’s mind for days.
We’re ready to go after a break with Page sprinting to the ring and clotheslining Rick down. Another clothesline puts him on the floor and Page hits a much better looking plancha than someone his age should be able to hit. Back in and Page gets crotched as they’re flying through this match. That pace abruptly stops when Steiner takes over and sends Page into the barricade. A belly to belly gets two on Page but he crotches Rick against the post.
Page hits the Diamond Cutter but Steiner lands on his knees (kind of), which is more than enough justification for him to cover Page and completely no sell the #1 contender’s finisher. I think he was supposed to hold onto the ropes and send Page to the mat in a crash and it was just too much effort for Rick to put in. Instead Rick gets two off a bulldog as Scott Hudson runs to the back to cover some breaking story. The Steiner Driver is countered into the Diamond Cutter (sold this time) but Animal comes in for the DQ.
Rating: D+. This is a great example of one guy not being able to carry a match. Page was trying to have a good match but Steiner was just there, doing his normal stuff and barking without even being able to get the Diamond Cutter spot right. It gets really annoying watching people like Rick (or Luger earlier) clinging to these spots because of their names and absolutely nothing more.
The Seven run in but we cut to the back to see Cat and Booker T. on stretchers. Back in the arena, Page is destroyed with a pipe shot to the back and the Recliner to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. For a regular show this was passable but for a go home show for a pay per view, this was just a step above a disaster. The only major story that got any real focus was Page vs. Scott Steiner. Booker and Rick only interacted in a big post match brawl, the Tag Team Champions didn’t even appear, Smooth isn’t in a match on Sunday, the cruiserweight stuff was its usual filler material and Team Canada vs. the Mamalukes was just there. It also doesn’t help that the last scene is Page getting beaten down by Steiner, which doesn’t exactly fill me with hope heading into the title match.
This show was a mess with the usual bad matches from people on top but it was made even worse by the lack of storylines being played out. The new owners showing up was mentioned once and then forgotten, Midjah’s attacker was teased for the first half of the show and then forgotten and then there’s Stacy and Stasiak which is best left forgotten. For all the good things WCW has going on at times, there are so many more things dragging it right back down.
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Summerslam Count-Up – 1994: In Case One Wasn’t Enough
Summerslam 1994 Date: August 29, 1994
Location: United Center, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 23,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler
Things have changed a lot in the last year. First and foremost, we’re living in Bret Hart’s WWF now as he regained the world title at Wrestlemania over Yokozuna, more or less vanquishing him once and for all. On that same show though, Bret’s brother Owen pinned him clean in the masterpiece of an opening match. Owen has chased the title all summer and tonight is his opportunity at it inside a steel cage. The other main event is the Undertaker vs. the Undertaker in a match that I want to put off talking about for as long as I can. Let’s get to it.
We open with highlights of the WWF softball team (that exists?) playing in a charity game against the Chicago media. Shawn of course plays without a shirt on. The video goes on for like five minutes with Monsoon doing commentary through every inning. Randy Savage, a former professional baseball player, hit a three run home run. The WWF won 9-7.
On to the actual wrestling tonight with Macho Man as Master of Ceremonies again. As Savage is posing in the ring, Lawler tells us that Diesel (currently Intercontinental Champion) and Shawn won the tag titles from the Headshrinkers last night in Indianapolis.
Headshrinkers vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/I.R.S.
Bigelow and IRS are part of DiBiase’s Million Dollar Team. This was originally going to be for the belts but the Samoans lost the titles last night. The production values have been upgraded by this show as we now have logos for every team/wrestler in the aisle as they come to the ring. The Headshrinkers have Afa and Lou Albano with them which I believe was Albano’s last managing job in the company.
Bigelow runs over Fatu to start but misses a charge and walks into a superkick for two. A slam doesn’t work on Bigelow so he comes back with an enziguri. That shouldn’t work on Fatu and thankfully he rolls away from the diving headbutt. Off to Samu for a double superkick but the Samoan misses a charge, allowing for the tag off to IRS. Now it’s the tax man’s turn to miss a charge in the corner and fall outside where Samu sends him into the steps. Back in and Fatu stays on IRS until Bigelow pulls the top rope down to send Fatu out to the floor.
The Million Dollar Team takes over on Fatu but a double clothesline puts he and Bigelow down. A double tag brings in Samu to face IRS as things break down a bit. A middle rope headbutt gets two on IRS and Bigelow is clotheslined out to the floor. IRS takes a double Stroke and Fatu adds the top rope splash but DiBiase has the referee. Bigelow goes after Albano which draws in Afa for the DQ.
Rating: D+. A DQ? In the opening match? 1994 was an odd year for this company. The match wasn’t bad but the lack of the titles being on the line brought the level of interest way down. Without that it was a Superstars main event which is ok, but the Headshrinkers were never in any real trouble at all and it wasn’t much to see.
Everyone brawls up the aisle.
We now get to the white elephant of the show: Leslie Nielsen and his partner from the Naked Gun movies is here to solve the mystery of the Undertaker. See, Undertaker had disappeared after the Royal Rumble but had vowed to return. DiBiase had a fake Undertaker doing his bidding but the real one was supposed to return tonight.
WWF’s brilliant idea? Bring in some detectives from crime spoof movies to solve the case. Nielsen comes complete with inner monologues about what he’s doing and completely out of place jokes (Nielsen: “I’m on the case.” Partner: “We’re both on the case.” The camera pans down to show them both standing on a briefcase.). Don’t get me wrong: Leslie Nielsen is hilarious, but this isn’t what I want to see at the second biggest show of the year.
Razor Ramon is ready to get his Intercontinental Title back tonight from Diesel. He’ll have Chicago football legend Walter Payton in his corner tonight.
Women’s Title: Bull Nakano vs. Alundra Blayze
Nakano, the challenger, is a Japanese monster and has Luna Vachon in her corner. A quick clothesline and a hair drag put Blayze down as Nakano looks strong early. We hit a chinlock less than two minutes in but Blayze gets her feet on the ropes. A spin kick puts Nakano down for a few seconds but she comes back with a choke to take over again. Off to a modified Boston Crab as Nakano is destroying the champion so far.
Blayze FINALLY makes the rope but Nakano pounds her right back down like she’s not even there. Bull starts a Sharpshooter but after turning Blayze over (Nakano doesn’t step over) she reaches down and pulls her up by the arms in a PAINFUL looking hold. Blayze finally gets an arm free to grab a rope but almost immediately Nakano has a modified cross armbreaker on the champion. Alundra FINALLY comes back with a hair takedown but Bull is easily out at two. Bull easily counters a powerbomb attempt and drops a knee for two, only to miss her guillotine legdrop finisher. Blayze hooks a quick German suplex to retain.
Rating: C. This was an interesting match but it was hard to get into at times. Nakano was a monster who destroyed Blayze for about eight minutes and then Alundra got a quick suplex for the pin in fifteen seconds. Bull would win the title in a few months in Japan in a near masterpiece.
Shawn and Diesel brag about winning the tag titles but say Diesel will have no problem with Razor Ramon tonight. This is right around the time where the Kliq had taken over backstage and were basically running the company, hence them dominating the title scene.
Intercontinental Title: Diesel vs. Razor Ramon
Shawn and Walter Payton are in the respective corners and Diesel is defending. The toothpick toss actually staggers Diesel and Ramon fires off right hands to start. A discus punch finally puts Diesel on the floor for a meeting with Shawn, likely over how they can get the WWF Title. Back in and Diesel uses the big man forearms to work on Razor’s back before taking him down with a big boot. There’s the corner leg choke but Razor comes back with more right hands.
The extra big man puts the big man in a sleeper but Razor comes out of it with a belly to back suplex. Diesel comes right back by launching Razor out to the floor, allowing Shawn to untie a buckle pad. Payton finally goes after Shawn but the distraction lets Shawn clothesline Razor down. Back in again and the champion hits his elbows and knee lifts in the corner but the referee stands in front of the exposed buckle. The referee looks at Shawn like an idiot, allowing Diesel to whip Ramon into the buckle for two.
Snake Eyes onto a covered buckle puts Ramon down again and an elbow to the back gets two. We hit the chinlock with a knee in the back and a comeback attempt is countered by a boot to the face. Diesel hooks an abdominal stretch but eventually gets caught holding the top rope. Razor puts on an abdominal stretch of his own, only to be hiptossed down onto his bad back. Snake Eyes onto the exposed buckle is countered into a rollup for two and Razor starts coming back with right hands.
The middle rope bulldog gets two on Diesel as the fans are getting louder and louder. The Jackknife is countered but Diesel suplexes him down before Razor can follow up. Shawn tries to bring in the belt but gets caught in a tug of war with Payton. The referee yells at Payton so Shawn tries a superkick but of course hits the champion. Payton pulls Shawn out and Ramon pins the out cold Diesel for the title.
Rating: C+. As political as the Kliq was, they could usually put on some solid matches. Razor was just big enough to make you believe he could go toe to toe with Diesel while still being small enough to look like an underdog. Payton was there as a celebrity and didn’t add a thing to the match at all. That superkick would set up years of stories, as Shawn and Diesel would start to disintegrate, which led to WM XI, which led to Shawn’s face turn, which led to everything up until Austin in a way.
Diesel rants about Shawn screwing up and blames him for the loss.
Shawn says he’ll get Diesel another shot and vows revenge on Payton. Don’t worry: Diesel would be world champion in three months.
Tatanka and Lex Luger are in the back where they hear the results of a WWF Hotline poll. 54% think Luger sold out to Ted DiBiase but he still denies it. Tatanka is convinced because of the times DiBiase has been watching Luger and the few times DiBiase has helped Luger win a match. Earlier today DiBiase went into Luger’s dressing room with a bag and that’s enough proof for Tatanka. Luger swears he didn’t sell out.
Lex Luger vs. Tatanka
The fans aren’t sure how they feel about Luger at the moment. They finally lock up with Luger taking it into the corner for a clean break. A shoulder puts Tatanka down but Luger still won’t follow up. Tatanka grabs the arm as we’re still in first gear. A cross body gets two for Tatanka and it’s time to slug it out with Lex taking over. Tatanka starts the war path and hits a top rope chop for two but a high cross body only hits mat. Luger starts his comeback but here’s DiBiase with a bag of money. Lex shouts that he didn’t sell out, allowing Tatanka to roll him up for the pin.
Rating: D. The match was very slow paced which isn’t good in a short match. We were waiting for the angle here instead of the match which is fine, but it didn’t make the match any less dull. Tatanka was into a more serious phase of his career here and his matches got a lot less fun to watch as a result.
Post match Luger is mad and he kicks the bag out of DiBiase’s hand…..only to have Tatanka reveal the HE sold out by destroying Luger. Tatanka puts him in the Million Dollar Dream and shoves money down Luger’s throat. This has always been a favorite of mine.
Jeff Jarrett vs. Mabel
Jeff Jarrett is a country singer from Tennessee and Mabel is a 500lb+ monster in purple and gold. Mabel lumbers around like an oaf while Jarrett struts. Jarrett’s wristlock is easily thrown off so Mabel struts a bit. A clothesline puts Jeff on the floor as we’re somehow two minutes into the match. Jeff trips Mabel from the floor to take him down and drops a middle rope elbow for no cover. Some middle rope ax handles stagger Jarrett a bit but a third is caught in a bearhug.
A sleeper finally gets Mabel down but he drops Jeff into the corner to escape. The big man actually hits a spinwheel kick for two as Abe “Knuckleball” Schwartz, a baseball themed guy, is in the crowd with a sign saying he’s on strike. See, Major League Baseball was on strike at this point, and if we reference something that’s going on in the world, it’s funny, right? Mabel misses a middle rope splash but blocks a sunset flip attempt. He tries to drop onto Jeff’s chest but misses completely, allowing Jarrett to score the fluke pin.
Rating: D-. This was very dull as Jarrett had nothing to work with at all. Mabel was just so huge that it was almost impossible for anyone to do anything against him. Unfortunately for us Mabel would be pushed down our throats the next year, somehow main eventing the 1995 edition of the show. The match sucked.
The detectives are in the aisle, Undertaker pops up behind them, neither sees him, more PPV time is wasted.
We get a LONG recap of Bret vs. Owen. Owen had felt he was living in Bret’s shadow and turned on his entire family at the 1993 Survivor Series when he was the only member eliminated due to a mistake by Bret. Bret offered to team up with Owen to win the tag titles which appeased Owen for awhile, but at the Royal Rumble Bret wouldn’t tag out and the referee stopped the match due to his knee injury.
Owen snapped and kicked out Bret’s good leg, turning full heel in the process. He demanded a match with Bret at Wrestlemania and defeated him clean in the opening match. Bret won the title in the main event, so Owen wanted a shot at the title throughout the summer. Tonight is Owen’s big chance in a cage match.
Bret says his recent battle with strep throat won’t affect him tonight.
WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart
It’s escape only to win. Owen jumps him as soon as Bret is inside the cage, raining down right hands in the corner. Bret comes back with an atomic drop and a clothesline as their parents are watching in the front row. Owen pulls Bret down as he tries to climb out before going for a climb of his own. Bret pulls him back down and goes for the door, only to be pulled back in as well. We’re still very early in the match at this point.
Bret keeps lunging for the door but Owen keeps pulling him back in. They swap the roles for the next turn but Owen still can’t escape. With the door closed Bret tries to climb out, only to be slammed off the cage wall. Owen climbs up and manages to get all the way out but he can’t get down on the floor before Bret makes a save. Owen is pulled back in and they fight on the top rope with Bret being knocked back into the ring. Instead of climbing out again though, Owen dropkicks Bret down and climbs again.
The champion makes another save before climbing up to the top of the cage, straddling the top of it. Owen pulls him back in and they continue slugging it out on the top rope. Bret rams him into the cage wall but loses his balance in the process, putting both guys back down. Jim Neidhart and Davey Boy Smith, both brothers in law of the two in the ring, are watching in the crowd.
Bret punches Owen down again and drops an elbow but Owen makes another save. This time as Bret comes down though, he slams his knee into the mat to put him in real trouble. Neidhart, who has since turned on Bret and sided with Owen, is very pleased. Even though Bret is down, he isn’t down enough to stop Owen from leaving. He gets slammed down off the cage but Owen grabs a climbing Bret’s leg, pulling him back inside.
Owen is up first but Bret makes about his 49th save of the match. Bret rams him face first into the steel and goes up again but Owen reaches through the bars to bring him back in. Back in again and Owen plants the champion with a piledriver but Bret still makes a save. Owen throws Bret down off the cage but Owen falls as well. Bret crawls for the door and gets the upper half of his body out, only to be pulled back in again by his younger brother. The drama on these near escapes is getting higher and higher.
Back in and Bret slingshots his brother into the cage, rattling his brains even more. They both slowly get up and Owen is rammed face first into the cage. The problem is that as Bret rams him in, Bret rams his knee into the cage and injures it. The champion tries to get out but can’t climb that fast, allowing Owen to make ANOTHER save. Owen makes another attempt to get out but his exhaustion slows him down and lets Bret stop him.
They slug it out on the top rope with both guys being rammed face first into the cage. Bret knocks Owen down but gets pulled back down as well. A double clothesline puts both guys down one more time and it’s Owen going up first. He climbs to the corner though, allowing Bret to catch up with him and superplex Owen off the top of the cage. Bret crawls for the door but Owen makes the save and puts on the Sharpshooter.
There aren’t any submissions in the match but it can make it impossible for Bret to climb. However Bret, the master of the Sharpshooter, counters into one of his own and Owen is in trouble. Bret goes for the escape but he STILL can’t keep Owen down long enough. They ram each other into the cage and both fall down before Owen climbs again. Both guys climb to the outside and it’s a race to the bottom. Owen is rammed into the cage though and gets his legs caught in the cage bars, allowing Bret to drop down and retain the title.
Rating: A+. This match was all about drama and they certainly gave us that. The match ran over half an hour and had nothing but near escapes the entire time. Bret didn’t so much win this match as he did survive it. This match has been called the last great cage match and it’s really hard to argue with that. Excellent match with great drama throughout.
Post match Neidhart jumps Davey Boy, throws Bret back in and locks himself in with them. A huge beatdown of Bret ensues as the Hart Brothers try to get in the cage. Davey Boy FINALLY gets in and the other brothers follow to save Bret.
In the back Owen says Neidhart is his real family. A series of great tag matches followed.
We recap the Undertaker disappearing at the Royal Rumble. 9 guys beat him up and locked him in a casket but his “spirit” levitated out of the casket, swearing to return. We get a bunch of people saying they had seen Undertaker in delis and coffee shops but DiBiase said he would bring Undertaker back.
Paul Bearer said that was impossible but Ted brought out the “Undertaker”. Anyone with a pair of eyes could tell it was a fake which was the point of the whole thing. Paul tried to regain the power of the Undertaker using the Urn but DiBiase’s money stopped him. The real Undertaker’s voice came over the PA, saying that he would be back.
Undertaker vs. Undertaker
We’ll call them real and fake to tell them apart. The fake one is played by ECW’s Primetime Brian Lee who wrestled in the WWF as Chainz. For the real entrance, we have druids, a casket containing the Urn and then the real guy. The entrances alone take about 10 minutes. Real is a few inches taller and blocks a right hand before pounding on Fake a bit. A big boot and uppercut send Fake to the floor, allowing Real to suplex him back in for no cover.
Fake is thrown to the floor again but Real follows him out this time. Back in and Fake hits a Stunner across the top rope to take over. This is VERY slow so far and the idea isn’t interesting at all. Real blocks Fake’s Old School but Fake sits up. The Real’s Old School connects but Fake clotheslines Real down. The crowd is SILENT for this nonsense which Vince writes off as being in shock.
Real misses a charge and falls to the floor where Fake sends him into the steps. Back in and Real wins a slugout but walks into a good chokeslam for no cover. Fake Tombstones him down but takes too long to cover, allowing for the sit up. A second Tombstone is countered into the Real one, followed by two more for the pin.
Rating: F. Well that happened. Seriously, what else do you want me to say about this? It went on for ten minutes, they were aspiring to hit a snail’s pace and the Chicago crowd, as in one of the most insane groups of fans you’ll ever see, was quieter than a cemetery watching this mess. Taker would literally spend the next year feuding with DiBiase and company.
Taker gets his Urn back and we cut to the back with the detectives finding a closed briefcase. “The case is closed.” Seriously, that’s how they end this.
Overall Rating: D+. BIZARRE main event choice aside, this wasn’t the worst show of all time. Bret vs. Owen is a masterpiece which eats up ¼ of the show and there’s some other decent stuff sprinkled in on top of the card. The rest of the show is pretty terrible though and there’s nothing other than the world title match worth going out of your way to see.
Ratings Comparison
IRS/Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Headshrinkers
Original: C+
Redo: D+
Alundra Blayze vs. Bull Nakano
Original: D+
Redo: C
Razor Ramon vs. Diesel
Original: B-
Redo: C+
Lex Luger vs. Tatanka
Original: C-
Redo: D
Jeff Jarrett vs. Mabel
Original: D-
Redo: D-
Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart
Original: A
Redo: A+
Undertaker vs. Undertaker
Original: B
Redo: F
Overall Rating
Original: C-
Redo: D+
…..a B? I’d like to know what I was on back then so I can go get more of it.
Thunder – March 7, 2001: Take WCW Out Back And Shoot It
Thunder Date: March 7, 2001 Location: Bi-Lo Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: Tony Schaivone, Mike Tenay
The roll that WCW was on just a few weeks ago seems forever ago as they’re right back to the mostly uninteresting shows that aren’t getting anyone anywhere. Well save for the Steiner Brothers and the other old acts that is. They’re getting closer to Greed and the card isn’t looking great so far and I doubt that changes tonight. Let’s get to it.
We get some post show footage from Nitro with Scott Steiner beating down Diamond Dallas Page.
Cruiserweight Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Scotty O./Jason B. vs. 3 Count
Jason will become better known as Jason Jett in the next few weeks. Evan takes over on Jason to start and knocks him into the corner without much effort. A Tajiri handspring elbow drops Evan so it’s off to Moore for a headscissors. O and B double hiptoss Shannon before Scotty hits a springboard cross body for two.
Evan comes right back in with a powerslam to take over again and a big old dive to the floor takes Scotty down again. Shannon dives onto Jason so Scotty Asai moonsaults down onto everyone. Back in and Bottoms Up gets two on Scotty and Evan’s 450 gets the same with Jason making the save. 3 Count finally gets it together with a wheelbarrow slam and top rope Bottoms Up combo for the pin on Scotty to finally set up the second round.
Rating: C+. This was as good as two unknowns against a recently reformed team was going to be. I like the idea of adding in people to the division and they have to start somewhere. 3 Count is fine for a name team in this tournament though I can’t picture them getting the belts in the end.
Scott Steiner wants the Cat.
After a break here’s Scott to the ring with something to say. Scott is ready for the title defense at Greed where he’ll add Diamond Dallas Page to the list of people he’s hurt. That brings him to Nitro, where the Cat prevented Scott from finishing Page. That’s why tonight, Scott is giving Cat a chance to fight. Cat comes out and agrees, leading to some trash talk. Page comes out to have Cat’s back but here’s Rick Steiner to jump Dallas, only to have Hugh Morrus cut Rick off.
Shawn Stasiak vs. Norman Smiley
This takes a bit to get started as Shawn is busy signing autographs on the way to the ring. Norman isn’t interested as he kicks one of them away and grabs a sunset flip for an early near fall. It’s not enough to set up the Norman’s Conquest either so Shawn grabs a backbreaker.
We head outside as Tony lets us know that Shawn wants to be called the Mecca of Manhood. The beating slowly continues until Shawn dives into a boot back inside. A few atomic drops are about all Norman can do, save for the Big Wiggle of course. Stasiak comes right back with a neckbreaker and something like a chokeslam/spinebuster for the quick pin.
Rating: D. That would be it for Smiley unfortunately as he just ever had a chance outside of the hardcore stuff. On the other hand, Shawn Stasiak will be a regular for the next few weeks and had a more successful WCW career than Smiley, mainly due to his look and family connections. That’s wrestling for you, no matter how boring it can be for the fans as a result.
Post match Stasiak imitates Rick Rude and can’t even do that right.
Kanyon yells at Smooth the Limo Driver for messing up whatever he had planned with Miss Jones on Monday. Smooth gets out of an armbar of all things and gets in his limo….which is promptly flipped over by a forklift.
Elix Skipper vs. Shane Helms
They actually start with a wrestling sequence before Shane grabs a neckbreaker to take over. For really no logical reason, they head outside and fight into the crowd. Why are people with no personal issue fighting into the crowd like two people who hate each other? Just because you can do something like that doesn’t mean it’s the right idea.
Back in and Helms takes over with a backbreaker before tying Skipper in the ropes for a guillotine legdrop. Skipper comes right back with a pair of belly to belly suplexes (the Steiner madness is spreading) and a good looking missile dropkick. They trade some suplexes before Helms kicks him in the face and grabs the Nightmare on Helm Street and the Vertebreaker for the pin.
Rating: C. For some reason they went with a wrestling match here instead of the high flying showcase that these two should have had. They’re doing a really good job of setting up Helms as the next big thing in the division and that should be a good thing, though Skipper could have been more than he is at the moment.
Post match Kid Romeo runs out but Kidman and Mysterio make the save to set up a tournament match.
Rick Steiner vs. Hugh Morrus
Non-title. Steiner hides behind the referee so he can kick Morrus low. A lot of stalling sets up an elbow drop for two before going outside to yell at the fans. As much as I get on him for all his faults, Rick knows how to be really mean to a crowd. Steiner very slowly works the leg though, negating that whole thing with the crowd.
More crowd taunting (with Rick going to the floor again because he’s a professional) is followed by a DDT for two. Morrus finally comes back with some right hands and a clothesline but here’s Team Canada to make sure Rick is safe. Storm offers a distraction to the referee (who wouldn’t call a DQ anyway) and it’s the Steiner Driver to put Morrus away.
Rating: D-. Another night with Steiner going over someone else who would have been a better choice for the title (not a much better choice but a better choice). It also doesn’t help that Rick squashes almost everyone he faces with the victims getting in almost no offense. Even Scott is letting his opponents get in significant offense on him.
Konnan saves Morrus from the Team Canada beatdown.
Here’s Lex Luger to say he wants to spank Chuck Palumbo to make up for what happened on Monday.
Chuck Palumbo vs. Lex Luger
Palumbo starts fast but walks into a jawbreaker. It’s time to work Chuck’s back already so hopefully this won’t last long. A trip to the floor lets Luger whip him into the barricade before hitting the forearm back inside. The powerslam doesn’t even warrant a cover though as you can see Luger deteriorate every second. The Torture Rack is broken up and Palumbo grabs a rollup for the fast pin. Luger doing all these jobs scares me going into the pay per view.
Post break Luger is furious.
Konnan rants about being held back.
Long video on Greed.
Konnan vs. Lance Storm
Ever the nice guy, Konnan jumps Storm during O Canada and grabs a reverse DDT. A trip to the floor gives us even more mindless brawling, which really isn’t Storm’s forte. Back in and Storm drops some knees to the spine as this is more his style. Konnan gets a boot up to knock Storm out of the air though and it’s time for the rolling clothesline to start the usual. The Tequila Sunrise is broken up and the Mapleleaf ends Konnan in a hurry.
Rating: D+. This could have been worse and it’s good to see Storm win. Konnan wasn’t much for the last few years but he’s actually been better in the last month or two. Storm is still the same guy he’s been for a long time: talented in the ring but stuck on a hamster wheel because it’s almost impossible to be elevated around here.
Morrus saves Konnan from the beatdown. Post break we get a challenge for a tag match at Greed.
Booker T. is ready to go through Rick to get to Scott.
Scott Steiner vs. The Cat
Non-title. Scott pounds him into the corner to start but can’t hit an early Snake Eyes. Instead it’s a belly to belly for no cover and a clothesline with Cat falling down before contact was made. It’s already time for a chair to Cat’s arm and a backbreaker sets up some posing. Cat finally gets an elbow up in the corner and a kick to the face allows Cat to choke. It’s smarter than covering in vain I guess. More kicks only get Cat so far as it’s a second belly to belly to cut him off. Cue Rick Steiner but Booker cuts him off, leaving Scott to put on the Recliner to win.
Rating: D-. Standard Cat match here: he can’t get out of a big match to save his life and has no business being in spots like this. Thankfully Booker came back when he did or we might have been looking at Cat as the next World Title challenger. This was as bad as you would expect and that was all it could hope to be.
Page comes in for the brawl with the Steiners taking over to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. Unfortunately that’s as high as I can go and it’s being fairly generous. This show just has the same boring stuff over and over with Tenay saying there’s unity in the locker room to go against the Magnificent Seven. The story had some fire to start but it really has no legs to stand on already and it’s getting less interesting every single week.
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Summerslam Count-Up – 1993: And That’s It For Luger
Summerslam 1993 Date: August 30, 1993
Location: Palace of Auburn Hills, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 23,954
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan
A lot has changed in the last year. Bret won the WWF Title about three months after the last Summerslam but lost it at Wrestlemania to the monster Yokozuna. Yoko went on a path of destruction through the WWF over the summer, but it was WCW signee Lex Luger who stood up for the USA on the 4th of July in a body slam challenge and is challenging for the title tonight. Hogan is gone, so America’s hopes rest on Luger. Let’s get to it.
We see Luger’s Lex Express bus arriving earlier today. Luger had gone around the country in a bus to get fan support for the match against Yokozuna. Why he didn’t stay in the WWF and win matches to get a title shot is beyond me.
Ted DiBiase vs. Razor Ramon
The match starts fast as DiBiase jumps Razor coming in. Razor comes back with a quick backdrop and a slam, sending DiBiase running to the floor. Back in and DiBiase takes it into the corner for some chops, only to be reversed on a whip and clotheslined out to the floor again. Razor pulls him back in but Ted chokes away on the top rope. I love basic heel moves like that. You never see those anymore because it’s all about attitude or whatever nonsense WWE tells you now.
Heenan makes jokes about the 1-2-3 Kid, who recently defeated Ramon and triggered his face turn. A clothesline gets two for DiBiase and it’s off to the chinlock. It’s clear that DiBiase is WAY past his prime here but his prime was so good that this is still totally watchable. Razor’s arms stay up on the third drop but DiBiase takes him back down with a swinging neckbreaker. Ted sends him to the floor and rips off a turnbuckle pad, only to be sent into it himself. The Razor’s Edge is good for the pin.
Rating: C-. Not much to see here but DiBiase was nothing more than a jobber to the stars by now anyway. This would actually be the last match in the WWF for DiBiase as he would do a quick run in Japan before retiring by the beginning of the year. The match wasn’t bad but it could have been the main event of any episode of Raw.
Todd Petingill interviews some of the Steiners’ relatives as we’re in their hometown. The sister calls Rick by his real name of Rob here.
Tag Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Heavenly Bodies
Jim Cornette manages the challengers, who are Jimmy Del Ray and Tom Pritchard. This is part of the cross promotion with SMW. Heenan sings Cornette’s praises, which was how Cornette got over as a heel. He had debuted not long before this and Heenan immediately hugged him. Since Heenan was a heel and Cornette was a friend of his, Cornette was instantly hated. No shades of gray, no thought to it, just basic heel work. I miss stuff like that so much.
The Bodies jump the champions and send Scott out to the floor early on. A double flapjack puts Rick down and Scott is knocked back to the floor, but the Bodies spend too much time double teaming. All four are in now with the Steiners cleaning house to the delight of the crowd. I’m sure it has nothing to do with them wearing University of Michigan colors. A tilt-a-whirl slam (called a suplex by Vince) puts Del Ray down and the Steiners stand tall.
We officially start with Pritchard vs. Scott and Tom is slammed down in a BIG gorilla press. A backdrop puts Del Ray down and it’s off to Rick vs. Pritchard. Rick cleans house with Steiner Lines to send the challengers to the floor. Back in the and the Bodies finally start cheating, allowing Pritchard to hit an enziguri to send Scott to the floor, followed by a Del Ray moonsault press to wipe Scott out.
Back in and Del Ry hits a Rocky Maivia spinning DDT but doesn’t cover like the schnook that he is. Heenan has the match 1112-9 in favor of the Bodies. A powerslam gets two for Del Ray and Cornette jabs Scott in the throat with his tennis racket. Scott finally comes back with a belly to belly out of nowhere and makes the hot tag to Rick.
Everyone gets Steiner Lines (Heenan: “Mrs. Steiner just gave her daughter a Steiner Line!”) but the top rope bulldog only gets two on Del Ray thanks to a save. Cornette throws in the racket but a shot to Rick’s back is only good for two. Del Ray misses a moonsault and the Frankensteiner retains the belts.
Rating: C+. This was as by the book of a tag team match as you can get but it was still good stuff. I don’t think anyone cared about the Heavenly Bodies but that’s where a good manager like Cornette can come in handy: the fans are going to boo anyone he’s out there with, including a tag team who never did anything of note in the WWF.
A new interviewer named Joe Fowler (he didn’t last long) is with Shawn and Diesel, with the former saying he’s the best IC Champion ever. Diesel says he’s there to keep the chicks off the champ. Fowler wasn’t bad actually.
Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Shawn Michaels
Shawn is defending. This match was literally months in the making with the WWF basically saying “this is going to be the match of the year, guaranteed.” To continue the theme of things that just aren’t the same today, Perfect is trying to become the first three time IC Champion. We also have Radio WWF with JR and Gorilla Monsoon doing commentary. Wrestling used to be broadcast on the radio back in the day, with legendary sportscaster Bob Costas doing commentary at one point.
Shawn easily takes it down to start but Perfect snapmares him down as well. Perfect takes over with an armdrag and drives some knees into the arm. Shawn comes back with a headlock out of the corner but Perfect avoids an elbow and we have a stalemate. Some LOUD chops in the corner snap Shawn’s head back and a clothesline turns him inside out for two. Back to the armbar on the champion but Shawn escapes and goes up top, only to dive into an armdrag.
Perfect puts on another armbar before catapulting Shawn out to the floor in a great crash. Perfect goes to the floor but has to stare at Diesel, giving Shawn an opening for the yet to be named Sweet Chin Music. Shawn hits an ax handle of the apron to Perfect’s back before heading back inside to drop knees onto the back. A hard whip into the corner puts Perfect down again and Shawn drops down onto Perfect’s back.
Off to a backbreaker with Shawn bending Perfect’s back over Shawn’s knee. A stiff right hand gets Perfect out and a running dropkick puts Shawn down again. Perfect gets two off an atomic drop before countering a backslide into the PerfectPlex, only to have Diesel pull the leg for the save. Diesel gets punched in the face before both guys brawl on the floor. Shawn slides back in to distract the referee, allowing Diesel to post Perfect for the countout.
Rating: C. This was ok and nothing higher than that. The ending was lame and the match was a bunch of arm/back work with no heat segment or drama at all. It was a one off match that collapsed under the weight that the company put on it by saying it would be a classic and all that jazz. Not much to see here.
Perfect gets beaten down post match with Shawn claiming to be the best ever. Perfect gives chase and catches up with Shawn during an interview with Gene. The fight winds up being Perfect vs. Diesel in a match I don’t think ever happened, unless it was on some random Raw or Superstars.
1-2-3 Kid is nervous for his PPV debut.
I.R.S. vs. 1-2-3 Kid
The Kid is relatively new at this point, having shocked the world by beating Razor Ramon in May. He also beat IRS’ partner DiBiase recently so IRS is here for revenge and to stop the Kid’s lucky streak. The Kid is launched into the air and bounces off the mat for early control but he dropkicks IRS out of the air on a second attempt. Nice psychology there, but IRS knocks him to the floor a few seconds later.
Kid comes back in with a sunset flip for two but gets caught in an abdominal stretch to drag the match out even longer. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Kid takes him to the corner for some kicks and a moonsault press for two. A side roll gets two as Heenan is losing his mind. Kid dropkicks him down for two more, but IRS hits a flying clothesline for the pin out of nowhere.
Rating: D. What in the world was that? The Kid had been undefeated since May and you have him lose to a jobber to the stars in IRS? I don’t get the thinking here at all and it would continue to make little sense as the Kid would only lose one more singles match this year, and not again until next June. Yet he loses to IRS here? I don’t get it.
Owen and Bruce Hart say their dad is at home recovering from knee surgery but they’re here to support Bret.
Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler
This is the blowoff to a MAJOR feud which started at the King of the Ring. Bret won the tournament but Jerry attacked him during the coronation, saying he was the only real king in professional wrestling. Jerry comes to the ring on crutches with a big ice pack on his knee. He claims an injury from a car wreck (going into hilarious detail about a blue haired lady causing a ten car pileup) so Bret’s new opponent is the court jester.
Bret Hart vs. Doink the Clown
This is evil Doink, meaning he’s AWESOME. Doink comes out carrying two buckets, one of which contains confetti to throw at the fans. The other is full of water which is thrown on Bruce Hart in the old Harlem Globetrotters trick. Bret jumps Doink on the floor and we get things going inside. Doink is punched back to the floor before he can even get his jacket off before Hart sends him into the post. Heenan talks about how Lawler was in an 18 car pileup, crawled out of the car and into a school bus, saved 40 kids from the bus and bought them all hamburgers before coming to the arena tonight. Vince’s stunned reaction is great.
Doink gets in a shot and goes up, only to be crotched on the buckle. Heenan: “He’s been de-Doinked!” Bret offers Lawler a chance to come in before dropping Doink with an atomic drop. Another Lawler distraction lets Doink hit a knee to the back before sending Bret into the steps. Doink starts working on the leg and wraps it around the post with Lawler cheering him on.
The Clown puts on an STF and Heenan swears Bret gave up. Doink transitions into a lame chinlock before putting on a stump puller (you sit the other guy down and push his head down while pulling up on a leg) to stay on the leg and neck. Bret comes back with a right and the Five Moves of Doom. He hooks the Sharpshooter but Lawler runs into the ring and breaks the crutch over Bret’s back for the DQ.
Rating: C+. The match was your usual good Bret match when he had a good opponent to work against. Lawler pretending to be injured is the perfect action for him as he’s such a slimy coward most of the time. The Bret vs. Lawler feud had incredible heat to it as the fans wanted to see Lawler get beaten up…….and then there’s this.
President Jack Tunney stops Lawler in the aisle and says get in the ring right now.
Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler
Bret blasts him in the head with one of Doink’s buckets before the bell. They head inside and Bret immediately pounds Lawler down and gets in a crutch shot for good measure. Lawler gets in a crutch shot to the throat and chokes away as the referee (ECW’s Bill Alfonzo) is trying to restrain the Hart Brothers.
Bret gets crotched against the post, allowing Lawler to tell the referee to go yell at the Brothers again. The distraction lets Lawler get in more crutch shots in a classic simple heel move. He stops to tell the booing fans to shut up but Bret is ready to fight. Hart destroys Lawer and even throws in a piledriver before putting on the Sharpshooter for the academic submission. He won’t let go though and the decision is reversed.
Rating: B. The match itself isn’t much from an action standpoint, but the story was perfect (Bret wants revenge) and it’s a short form clinic on how to work a crowd from Lawler. Those subtle things like distracting the referee and sneaking in weapon shots and telling the crowd to shut up are so basic and easy but you NEVER see them today. Today’s writers need to watch some Lawler matches and they’ll learn how to have a crowd eating out of a heel’s hand in no time.
It takes about ten referees plus two Brothers to pull Bret off of Lawler. Bret is told that Lawler is the undisputed King so he goes after Jerry again as Lawler is put on a stretcher. Bruce Hart gets in some shots as well but Lawler is finally wheeled off, raising his arm in victory like the true villain he is.
Unfortunately we never got the planned blowoff to this feud as some 15 year old accused Lawler of rape (she admitted she made the whole thing up and Lawler was acquitted) so the Hart Brothers vs. Jerry and three hired goons at Survivor Series never happened. That’s a shame as the reaction for Lawler being destroyed by the whole family including Stu would have been a sight to behold.
Ludvig Borga is on the streets of Detroit to show us the country that Lex Luger wants to stand up for.
Bret and his brothers say Lawler deserves a broken leg.
Marty Jannetty vs. Ludvig Borga
Borga is basically the original Antonio Cesaro but from Finland. Marty fires away to start but gets punched in the corner by the former boxer. A hard clothesline puts Jannetty down before Borga throws him into the air for an uppercut (much like Cesaro). More punches in the corner have Jannetty in trouble and a clothesline stops his comeback dead. Borga blows his nose on Jannetty before putting on a bearhug. Marty escapes and makes a quick comeback with a pair of superkicks but gets caught in a powerslam and a torture rack for the submission.
Rating: D-. This was one of the lamer squashes I can remember in a long time. Borga looked slow and limited in the ring but the rack looked good. Other than that though, Borga came off as much more flash than substance. He would get better, but at the end of the day he never quite did anything in the company.
Giant Gonzalez vs. Undertaker
This is a Rest in Peace match, which means No DQ and No Countout, or a street fight as we would call it. Gonzalez has been tormenting Undertaker all year and lost to him via DQ at Wrestlemania. Gonzalez is a legit 7’7 and his manager Harvey Whippelman has stolen the Urn. Paul Bearer is absent for reasons that aren’t quite explained. The Giant pounds on Taker to start but Taker comes back with some clotheslines. A single elbow takes the Dead Man down and they head outside with the Giant in control.
Gonzalez hits some of the weakest chair shots you’ll ever see before whipping Taker knees first into the steps. Back in and Undertaker hits some uppercuts but keeps reaching for the Urn. Taker is still down when the gong rings and Paul Bearer makes his return with a black wreath. Whippelman goes after him and gets decked, allowing Paul to get the Urn back. The Giant stares down at him, Undertaker sits up, hits five clotheslines and a sixth frm the top for the pin. Seriously, that’s it.
Rating: G. As in I long for Great Khali. You often hear bad wrestlers said to be as bad as Giant Gonzalez and there’s a good reason for that: the guy is HORRIBLE. I understand the idea of the guy being huge and not needing to do much, but Gonzalez couldn’t do even the most basic stuff without screwing it up. Having seen a good deal of both, I can safely say that Gonzalez makes Great Khali look like Bret Hart.
Post match Harvey turns on Gonzalez and gets laid out.
Cornette says his men have been ripped off all night but that won’t happen when Lex Luger faces his Yokozuna. All those people Luger has seen over the country aren’t going to be able to help him now because it’s just Luger vs. Yokozuna, and the last thing Luger will hear is BANZAI!
Smoking Guns/Tatanka vs. Headshrinkers/Bam Bam Bigelow
Aren’t cowboys and Indians supposed to fight? The heels have Afa and Luna Vachon with them. The Samoans run over the Guns to start and we have Bigelow vs. Tatanka to get us going. Tatanka fires off a shoulder block and a dropkick followed by an impressive backdrop. Both guys try cross bodies and Tatanka actually gets the better of it. For a gimmick wrestler Tatanka had some good success around this time.
A double tag brings in Billy vs. Fatu (Rikishi) with the Samoan hitting a quick superkick. Billy comes back with a top rope clothesline as Vince tells us Billy went to college on a rodeo scholarship. That actually exists? Another superkick from Samu knocks Billy into the tag to Bart who is slammed face first into the mat for his troubles. Bigelow comes in with a dropkick for two before it’s back to Fatu for a wicked powerslam. The Samoans take turns double teaming Bart with headbutts and chops as the heat segment goes on for a good while.
Bigelow misses a charge and hits the post, allowing Bart to make the hot tag off to Tatanka. The Indian chops every heel in sight and takes Bigelow down with a DDT and a high cross body for two. Tatanka goes on the war path but walks into an enziguri from Bam Bam. Sometimes there’s no better solution than to kick a guy in the head. Everything breaks down and Tatanka is left all alone against the three monsters. A TRIPLE HEADBUTT puts Tatanka down and all three go up for a triple flying headbutt, but Tatanka rolls away and rolls up Samu for the pin.
Rating: B-. Where in the world did this come from??? This was a shockingly good tag match with everyone moving fast and some great looking spots from Bigelow. Tatanka was one of those guys that the fans just liked and there’s no way you can fake that. Good stuff here and a very nice surprise.
To fill in time, we talk to Luger’s bus driver. The guy is so valuable he gets to sit in the bus and watch the show on a monitor. He talks about how great Luger is and how he visited a bunch of kids.
Pettingill asks some fans who they like in the main event and the answer is obvious.
Some guy sings the Japanese national anthem.
Randy Savage is master of ceremonies for the main event and comes out with some country singer who sings the American national anthem.
WWF Title: Lex Luger vs. Yokozuna
Remember, this is Luger’s ONE title shot. It’s a long staredown to start before Lex has to knock Mr. Fuji down. Lex starts pounding away but a single shot from the champion puts him down. Luger comes back with more right hands and down goes Yoko. A big elbow drop gets two for Luger and he avoid one from Yoko. Luger hits a running clothesline in the corner before pounding away on the champion’s head in the corner. Yoko will have none of that though and takes Luger down with a single chop.
Luger gets in some right hands but can’t slam Yoko again. Instead he gets kicked in the face and knocked to the floor with some headbutts. Out to the floor they go with Yoko choking Luger with a mic cord. A splash crushes Luger against the post but Yoko misses a chair shot. They head back inside where Luger hits two ax handle shots off the top and middle rope before a top rope forearm gets a very close two count.
A double clothesline puts both guys down and things slow down even more. Fuji throws in his bucket which Yoko uses to knock Luger out cold but only for two. A big belly to belly suplex and side slam get the same results as the champion is getting frustrated. Off to a nerve hold by the champion which eats up several minutes.
Luger fights up again but gets clotheslined down for two. To show you how impressive he is, Heenan actually compliments Luger. I don’t think I ever remember him cheering for a good guy before. Yokozuna loads up the Banzai Drop but Luger rolls away at the last minute. They fight into the corner again but Yoko misses a charge. Luger slams him down and hits the loaded forearm, knocking the champion out to the floor. Unfortunately for Luger, he also knocked Yokozuna out cold, earning Luger a countout win.
Rating: D+. This was long and slow without being very good. Luger got good reactions though, especially for the slam. It was clear that his character was nothing but warmed over Hogan leftovers but at least the fans hadn’t entirely realized that yet. This wasn’t a terrible match, but it certainly was nothing of note either. The ending wasn’t great but it was necessary to continue the story being told.
Luger celebrates with his friends to end the show despite not winning the title. We even get a music video of his push, which would be WAY more effective if Luger had, you know, WON THE FREAKING TITLE. Heenan: “This was his ONE shot!” Vince: “Don’t worry he’ll get another one!” Heaven forbid we pay attention to storylines that PPVs are built around.
Overall Rating: C+. With a Luger title win, this would have been a very solid show. There are some bad matches on here but the majority of the show works amazingly well with Bret vs. Lawler and the six man being highlights. Much like last year it’s a show where the overall show is better than its individual parts which made for a good show. Why Luger didn’t go over here continues to elude me.
Ratings Comparison
Razor Ramon vs. Ted DiBiase
Original: C-
Redo: C-
Steiner Brothers vs. Heavenly Bodies
Original: B-
Redo: C+
Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. Perfect
Original: B-
Redo: C
1-2-3 Kid vs. I.R.S.
Original: F
Redo: D
Bret Hart vs. Doink the Clown
Original: B
Redo: C+
Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler
Original: B+
Redo: B
Marty Jannetty vs. Ludvig Borga
Original: D+
Redo: D-
Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez
Original: C+
Redo: G (As in I long for Great Khali)
Tatanka/Smoking Gunns vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Headshrinkers
Monday Nitro – March 5, 2001: And Down The Stretch They Come
Monday Nitro #280 Date: March 5, 2001
Location: Bi-Lo Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: Tony Schaivone, Scott Hudson
After last week, it’s really hard to say what we should expect here as Nitro worked very well but Thunder was every bit the show you would have expected it to be. I’m liking Scott Steiner vs. Diamond Dallas Page but the rest of the show is so all over the scale that it’s hard to guess what you’ll get. Let’s get to it.
We open with Rick Steiner in the ring ranting about how Booker T. was nothing without his brother. Booker eventually comes out and it’s time for a match.
Rick Steiner vs. Booker T.
Non-title I believe. Booker starts in with his kicks but Rick no sells most of them (of course) and does his brawling punches in the corner. Some right hands to the head actually stagger Rick but he gets caught in a belly to belly for two. A tiger bomb gets two more on Booker, who escapes the Steiner Driver by pulling Rick down in what looked like a botch. Not that it matters as Scott comes in for the DQ.
Rating: D. Booker did what he could here but as usual there’s only so much you can do when Rick is barely doing anything but punching and that sloppy offense of his. He’s taken the US Title hostage just like Scott did before as there’s almost no way he’s dropping it to anyone other than a big star, leaving most of the midcarders to have nothing to fight over.
Diamond Dallas Page comes out for the save and clears the ring. Insults are exchanged and a tag match is made for later.
We recap the Cruiserweight Tag Team Title tournament.
Cruiserweight Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Elix Skipper/??? vs. AJ Styles/Air Paris
The mystery partner is…..Kid Romeo. Wow what a bombshell. Romeo and Styles start things off with Romeo being sent to the floor, only to catch a sliding AJ and drop him face first onto the announcers’ table. All four wind up on the floor and Romeo dives off the steps to clothesline Paris. Apparently that’s enough for a tag as Romeo takes over on Paris back inside. A superkick puts Skipper down as Hudson talks about NWA Wildside announcer Steve Prazak and I wonder if he’s talking about ROH’s Dave Prazak.
The hot tag brings in AJ as everything breaks down and we hit the big dives to the floor. The announcers would rather talk about an upcoming (as in on Thunder) Mike Awesome vs. Lance Storm match which really puts these titles in context. Romeo powerslams Paris off the apron as Chavo Guerrero comes out to watch. Back in and Skipper dropkicks Air into a Snow Plow for the pin.
Rating: C+. Lack of star power aside, this was a fun match and a more low key high flying match. Romeo was nothing special and Paris continues to not really offer anything great but Styles and Skipper were doing all their flips to make up for it. As usual though, as is almost always the case in tournament matches, there’s no story and it all relies on the action. On that standard this match was good but not excellent by any stretch.
Sean O’Haire says Lex Luger is in for a real fight tonight. His promos could use some work.
Lex Luger vs. Sean O’Haire
Luger runs him over with a clothesline to start as he’s already gone through a good chunk of his offense. Sean’s clothesline gets two of his own but Lex calmly pounds him down again. A whip into the corner sees Sean backflip over Luger’s head but he tweaks his knee on the landing. Cue Chuck Palumbo to check on his partner and punch Luger in the face a few times. This brings out Buff Bagwell with a few chair shots but that’s still not enough for the DQ. Instead Sean grabs a small package for two before having to sidestep a Blockbuster which takes Luger down instead. The Seanton Bomb gives O’Haire the pin.
Rating: D+. I’m assuming this was supposed to be a big win for O’Haire but all the shenanigans to go with Luger’s offense held it back quite a bit. That being said, this is what Luger should be doing: jobbing for the young up and coming stars instead of being given completely unnecessary wins that only help himself.
Bagwell gets in a Blockbuster on O’Haire.
Shawn Stasiak and Kanyon arrive in Shawn’s limo. Kanyon is going to visit Miss Jones in the hospital so Stasiak gives her an autographed picture as a present.
Chavo thinks Shane Helms should be the one who is scared.
Team Canada beats Konnan down but Hugh Morrus makes the save.
Jeff Jarrett vs. Dusty Rhodes
And it’s a guy in a Dusty mask. Jeff does some signature Dusty stuff and finishes with the Bionic Elbow in less than a minute. Is there ANY POINT to this story that I’m just missing? They’re so desperate for content that they’re making fun of someone who made one cameo a few weeks ago?
Jarrett promises to make Dusty kiss a certain body part but here’s Dustin Rhodes for the save. Dusty gets up and rips off some makeup to reveal Ric Flair for a double beating. The real Dusty comes out for the save with Ric and Jeff running. Ric yells a lot and wants to know why Dusty is in his building. Dusty goes on a rant about Jeff Jarrett’s dad and laughs about getting to call Ric fat boy. He calls Ric an extra in WCW so Ric sets up a tag match for Greed. Did I mention this was the start of the second hour and what was opposing Raw?
Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Shane Helms
Non-title again. Shane has a huge entrance now with dancing girls (the Nitro Girls, who I didn’t know were still a thing), a lot more lighting and new music. Chavo jumps him at the bell and scores with a belly to back suplex, only to charge into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. The announcers talk about Rhodes vs. Flair and apparently the losing team will have to, ahem, kiss up to the winners.
Shane makes his early comeback with a dive to the floor as Kid Romeo and Elix Skipper come out to watch. Skipper trips Shane up to cut off the comeback but Helms gets two off a backslide anyway. A superkick gets two on Chavo and Shane dives onto Skipper and Romeo to keep them away. That draws them into a ring and we STILL CAN’T GET A DQ. Romeo is sent outside while Skipper helps Chavo hit a Hart Attack. The brainbuster puts Shane away.
Rating: C. What was the point of this one? Shane gets the big entrance and looks like a star (as well as a face in a turn I must have missed) but loses here to set up the pay per view match? Have Shane win via DQ due to the interference and then clear the ring but don’t have him lose like this.
Spring Breakout video.
Kanyon is in Miss Jones’ hospital room (why she’s in a Greenville, South Carolina hospital after getting injured in Huntsville, Alabama isn’t clear) when the Cat, minus a shirt, comes in for the brawl. Crutches and bottles are broken over both guys as Jones keeps screaming for a nurse. Not security mind you, but a nurse. Cat makes sure to tell Kanyon that he hates him while also getting in a few “I’M THE GREATEST” lines. Kanyon gets electrocuted by the defibrillator to wrap this up. My goodness this was stupid.
Hugh Morrus vs. Mike Awesome
Mike kicks him in the face to start and drops a leg for an early two count. They head outside with Morrus being sent into the post, followed by a slingshot splash for two back inside. Morrus catches him coming off the top and grabs a suplex, only to miss a charge into the post. Cue Lance Storm to beat on Morrus (with the referee seeing it and still not doing anything about it). That’s not enough to set up the Awesome Splash though as Morrus rolls away and drops Mike with a DDT. No Laughing Matter puts Awesome away.
Rating: C-. This could have been worse as both guys can hit the other hard enough to keep this entertaining. Awesome jobbing again is a bit annoying but you kind of have to expect that at this point. I’m not sure why we’re getting Morrus/Konnan vs. Team Canada but at least it’s something for all of them to do.
Konnan comes out to save Morrus from a post match beatdown.
Booker T./Diamond Dallas Page vs. Steiner Brothers
The Brothers have separate entrances. Before the match, Rick accepts a challenge from Booker T. (who isn’t actually here to make said challenge), presumably for Greed. Scott on the other hand calls Page a coward who will get what’s coming to him at the pay per view. Booker comes out and seems to like the idea of being US Champion at Greed. It’s a big brawl to start with Scott being sent to the floor for a dive from Page.
Back in and Scott ties Page in the Tree of Woe for some choking. The discus lariat puts Rick down and the hot tag brings in Booker to clean house. Scott grabs a belly to belly for two as the announcers talk about the new owners again. Booker slugs away but walks into another suplex. A double clothesline puts Rick down and there’s the hot tag to Page. Everything breaks down with Booker and Scott fighting to the back where Booker gets beaten down by the Magnificent Seven. A German suplex drops Page but he grabs the Diamond Cutter for the pin.
Rating: C. It was basically a formula based match until the screwy ending and that’s a good thing. You would think the Steiner Brothers’ return would be a bigger deal but it was barely mentioned by the announcers and the match was really just a run of the mill TV main event. Page pinning Rick is a logical ending and it’s not like the US Title has any real value to lose at this point.
Page bails from the Seven but Scott jumps him in the crowd to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. This was hit and miss all night long and that seems to be the norm once again for WCW. There’s definitely good stuff and it was nice to not have the crusierweights stuck in the opening spot for a change. The wrestling was the standard fare but the booking was a bit tighter tonight and that’s the more important thing going forward. You know, for the next three weeks. Unfortunately there’s so much bad stuff like the Rhodes segment or the hospital scene as WCW really can’t put on a complete show without something stupid holding it back.
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Monday Night Raw – November 15, 1993: Let Freedom Ring
Monday Night Raw Date: November 15, 1993 Location: Fernwood Resort, Bushkill, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan
The big story this week is a fan voted match with Lex Luger facing Pierre the Quebecer in a match that really isn’t the most interesting thing in the world. Other than that we find out who will be the replacement on the All Americans now that Tatanka has been injured. That’s quite the cool moment so let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Savage going nuts and attacking Vince to go after Crush last week.
Opening sequence.
Savage has been suspended from commentary for a week in a logical move.
Razor Ramon vs. Brooklyn Brawler
Non-title. The referee won’t let the Brawler hit Razor with the title to start so Ramon shrugs off the early offense and punches him down. An atomic drop slows Ramon down as we hear about Shawn Michaels returning to the company. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Brawler ducks his head like an idiot, setting up the Razor’s Edge for the easy pin.
Crush is very happy with costing Savage his broadcasting job.
Headshrinkers vs. Mike Bucci/Mike Maraldo
Bucci would later be known as Nova/Simon Dean. Fatu headbutts Bucci around to start as the announcers talk about Savage being gone this week. A double headbutt puts him down as we’re firmly in squash territory here. Unfortunately this leads to a discussion of the Four Doinks, which would be the only match I ever turned off in the middle of a review because it was horrible. A double Stroke sets up Samu’s top rope splash to squash Bucci for good.
Rating: D. I’ve always been a Headshrinkers fan as they’re such a simple gimmick but they knew how to make it work. Their face run was a lot more entertaining but at the moment we’re stuck with them as your run of the mill island savages. On the other hand it’s always cool to see someone like Bucci as a fresh rookie before he became a fairly well known name.
We go back to Superstars over the weekend with the announcement of Tatanka’s replacement on the All Americans. That would be…..the Undertaker, who says he’ll fight with them against these Foreign Fanatics. He opens the coat to reveal an American flag and says let freedom ring in a really cool moment.
Pierre vs. Lex Luger
Pierre is one half of the Tag Team Champions. Luger whips him across the ring a few times to start and gets two off a belly to back suplex. A backdrop on the floor gets two for Luger and we take an early break. Back with Luger working on the arm but some left hands get Pierre out of trouble.
Luger gets up but Pierre’s manager Johnny Polo grabs the leg (with the referee not only seeing him but yelling about it), allowing Pierre to send him into the steps. A Vader Bomb gets two on Luger and Heenan is shocked at the kickout. He does realize it was Pierre right? Pierre puts on a bad looking reverse chinlock but Luger powers out as we take a break.
Back with the hold on again and a piledriver getting two on Lex. A really weird looking top rope legdrop (with Pierre trying to spin around to drop the other leg instead of the one you would expect) gets the same and it’s time for Luger’s comeback. Some right hands and a slam off the top set up the flying forearm to finish Pierre off. Heenan’s rant about all the metal in the arm is great.
Rating: D-. This is really on whoever decided to put Pierre in this match as there was no reason to think he could handle a nearly fifteen minute match on his own. There’s a reason you put him in a tag team so a veteran like Jacques can carry a lot of the work but it was basically suicide to put him out here and ask him to carry half of a match.
Post break Jacques and Johnny have trouble waking Pierre up.
Diesel vs. Sid Garrison
Oh yeah Diesel is still a thing. Diesel powers him into the corner with ease and a neck crank fills in more time. A big boot and an elbow drop of all things put Sid away.
Rating: D. It’s not a good sign when I forgot that Diesel was a thing at this point but that’s what you have to expect when Shawn was put out of action just a few months after Diesel debuted. There really wasn’t much of a point to do anything with him which explains his fairly random association with IRS at Survivor Series.
Survivor Series control center. There’s not much here other than the announcement that Pierre has a concussion and may be out of the main event.
We wrap it up in Nashville with Jeff Jarrett yelling at I think the record producer (as portrayed by the future Jacqueline). He’ll be fine despite the lack of backup though.
Overall Rating: D-. Oh yeah this was bad. Survivor Series is almost here but they’re not exactly hitting the ground running with one change after another. Undertaker is a good addition and Pierre is a better subtraction but they need to just announce the teams already and be done with it because these constant changes are getting really annoying to keep up with.
One more note: there is no November 22 show as Survivor Series was two nights later. Instead there was a clipped version of a big special called Survivor Series Showdown which aired the night before. For reasons I don’t quite understand, this was listed as a lost episode of Raw, which I think had something to do with getting to Raw 1000. It was finally aired on WWE.com a few years back and it was actually pretty good. Here’s the link if you’re interested: