If the Royal Rumble isn’t my favorite show of the year, it beats anything else for second place. The namesake match is so insane and all over the place that it’s hard not to love. In addition to that this year though, there’s an interesting triple threat which could throw a major curve into the Wrestlemania picture. In other words, it’s really hard to predict what’s coming and it’s making things that much more interesting. Let’s get to it.
As usual we’ll start with the pre-show match. I’ll take the New Day to win the six man elimination tag over Rose/Cesaro/Kidd with Woods being the only elimination. There’s no reason to have New Day lose yet, even though they’re just not that interesting. I don’t mind them as much as most people, but there’s no reason to care about them yet. Cesaro and Kidd are a good option as a team but they’re stuck in this role because that’s how WWE works.
Ascension over the Outlaws of course. I like the story it seems they’re going with as Ascension can defeat legendary teams to prove their statements right before they go after the belts, but at the end of the day they’re just going to be beating old guys who barely ever wrestle. This is where you need the commentary team to step up and get the story over, but this commentary team isn’t capable of stepping up and getting a lunch order over.
The worst part about Ascension is they’re a fresh idea for a team, but they were ripped apart so fast coming out of the gate that they weren’t given a fair shake. Look at what Ryback did just a few years ago squashing jobbers: he was challenging for the World Title in the main event of a pay per view just a few months later. The commentary team was in awe of him but they jumped all over Ascension and now the fans want the team gone already. Unless they get to prove the commentators wrong, it’s a waste of their time in NXT and a way to get back to the boring tag division we’ve had for years.
Speaking of the Tag Team Titles, I see no reason for them to change hands tonight. It’s not that the Usos are the most interesting team in the world, but the imminent split of Miz and Mizdow would mean there’s no reason to put the belts back on them. After that though, who else could go after them but the Ascension? Cody and Goldust vs. Usos has been done to death so there’s…..New Day? Is that the point we’ve reached already?
Again, I have to wonder why there’s such a lame tag division when there’s such a deep roster. Could it be that they treat tag teams like such jokes and people aren’t interested in seeing two guys randomly paired together with each other without any effort being put in, ala Kidd and Cesaro? The short version of this way too long statement: bring back tag team names.
The other tag match is an unnecessary Total Divas match between the Bellas and Paige/Natalya. I’ll actually go with Paige/Natalya here to set up the next challenger to Nikki’s title, but it wouldn’t shock me to see the Bellas win again to make sure we don’t forget that they’re the greatest, toughest, most dominant and interesting Divas in the history of the world. I mean, what other Divas go to brunch together and are so amazing that they can’t even keep arguing with each other because they’re so awesome they forget it happened and give us a lame explanation of “we’re sisters”?
Now we get to the two main events, which are both wide open but the more I think about them, the more I think they’re going with the most obvious winners. We’ll start with the World Title match with Lesnar defending (yes really) against Rollins and Cena. The addition of Rollins has breathed new life into the long past done Lesnar vs. Cena feud. I really didn’t need to see Cena dying and then leveling up again to fight the final boss one more time. It may not lead to a different ending, but at least it’s something we haven’t seen before.
On top of that, the buildup of Rollins into a main event guy was great, even though he stopped standing up to Lesnar and ran like anyone else would this past Monday. The image of the two of them staring each other down was awesome though and I totally bought Rollins as a top level player.
As for the pick, I’m taking Lesnar with no cash-in. Unfortunately I think WWE is fine with having no title match from now until Wrestlemania with the thinking being they’ve gone this far with the idea so don’t worry about it screwing up Wrestlemania either. My first reaction to this would be to point you to both the Network numbers as well as Wrestlemania XX and SuperBrawl II. Wrestlemania XX is of course Lesnar leaving and having a HORRIBLE match against Goldberg, but SuperBrawl II is a bit more interesting, as well as pertinent to what we’re looking at here.
Back in 1991, it was clear that Sting was the top man in WCW and the uncrowned World Champion. His first run with the belt hadn’t gone that well but now the people were ready to accept him as the star (that’s quite the lesson: Just because a first reign doesn’t work, the second can be much better. See also Bret Hart and Daniel Bryan) when he won the title at SuperBrawl II. Unfortunately it was Lex Luger’s last match with the promotion and he hadn’t been wrestling that much due to already fulfilling all of his contractually obligated dates. Is this ringing any bells?
Luger went out and put in the minimal effort imaginable for someone actually alive and dropped the belt to Sting in a horrible match. Now this was at SuperBrawl, which was an upper tier show but not the biggest. Can you imagine if this happened in the main event of Wrestlemania? I can accept that Bryan could save the match, but can you imagine Reigns in this spot with only his signature moves to save him? The word disaster isn’t nearly strong enough.
That brings us to who Lesnar will be facing, and I think it’s going to be Reigns. We’ve covered everything possibly wrong with Reigns getting this spot this early in his career, but if that’s what WWE is going to force on us then so be it. I still think it could ruin whatever he has going for him, but it looks like that’s what we’re getting whether we like it or not. I’ll take Reigns coming in around #25 or so and cleaning house to win, likely knocking out Big Show for the final elimination ala Shawn in 1996.
As for the other possible winner in Daniel Bryan, I’m guessing they have someone from the Authority take him out, setting up Bryan vs. Authority II with him facing……Rollins I suppose at Wrestlemania. That would be one heck of a match, but it’s yet another reason why Lesnar vs. Reigns would be a disaster to have on top. Can you imagine those two trying to follow Bryan vs. Rollins if that’s what we get?
As for surprise entrants, I’ll go with Orton (should be obvious) and…….eh sure why not the Dudleys. It’s in Philadelphia and they’ll take some of the pressure off the fans who are going to explode if Bryan doesn’t win again. Oh and Rob Van Dam and/or because you can’t have a Royal Rumble without one of them making a SHOCKING return.
This show feels like it could be very entertaining, but man alive does it feel like it could explode in their faces. This show is going to set the stage for Wrestlemania and that could be the biggest disaster in years if they go with the wrong selections. Unfortunately it seems like that’s where they’re going with it and the fans could rip this show apart if they’re not happy. I don’t think it’s going to be nearly as bad of a reaction as last year’s (primarily due to Bryan at least having a chance), but they’re walking a very tight rope.
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Monday Nitro – August 30, 1999: Yes We’re Still On This
Monday Nitro #203 Date: August 30, 2015
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 10,605
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone
We’re two weeks away from Fall Brawl and I don’t think we’ve had any matches announced yet. What we do have though is Sid Vicious as the focal point of the company and Sting, Hogan and Goldberg suddenly as best friends against the combination of Sid and Rick Steiner. I keep thinking this show can’t get worse but they keep surprising me. Let’s get to it.
Disorderly Conduct vs. Dave Taylor/Steven Regal
Yes we’re starting with a match and just bring in Sid already. Mike jumps Regal to start but gets taken down by a drop toehold. It’s off to Taylor vs. Tom with Dave hooking a butterfly suplex….and here he comes.
Four powerbombs to Mike and Tom later and Sid is still ranting about being the Millennium Man.
Lenny and Lodi aren’t allowed in the building until Lenny reminds security that he’s the Cruiserweight Champion. It’s not funny or interesting when you watch it either.
Recap of last week’s major events.
Nitro Girls.
Time for a Sid discussion as Tony compares his streak to Goldberg’s. Goldberg won the US Title in his 75th match, even though Sid is now up in the 80s. Thankfully that means they won’t be stupid enough to have him beat Benoit for the title or anything like that……right?
The Demon will be here later.
Here’s Luger to say he doesn’t buy Hogan’s turn around. Tonight he’ll show irrefutable evidence that Hogan is lying.
Berlyn arrives with security and his version of Lana.
Video on KISS and the Demon.
Scotty Riggs vs. Lash LeRoux
Riggs takes him up to the ropes and smacks Lash in the face as the mind warped fans want Sid. Scotty nails that great dropkick but gets monkey flipped over for his efforts. A jawbreaker and running knee keep Lash in trouble as it’s clear to see why neither of these guys went anywhere. Lash gets two off a sunset flip but takes a pair of clotheslines. Cue Vampiro and the Clowns to watch as Lash gets two more off a northern lights suplex, only to eat a Fameasser for the pin.
Rating: D-. So they interrupt Regal and Taylor after about two minutes but this match gets twice that long? Neither of these guys give me any reason to keep watching, which is exactly why they’re on in the unopposed hour designed to make people stick around when Raw comes on. WCW really needed some major roster cuts around this time to get rid of a bunch of these guys.
Vampiro says Riggs owes him something.
Here’s the Revolution, now with their own shirts. After a lame attempt to get the crowd to care from Shane, Saturn issues a challenge for the TV Title at Fall Brawl and Benoit issues an open challenge for the same show. I really don’t see this ending well for either guy.
Nitro Girls.
Kaz Hayashi vs. Lodi
Lenny’s Cruiserweight Title now has a bow and tassels. He also seems to have a thing for Kaz, which Lodi is totally cool with. Lodi accidentally clotheslines Lenny to the floor, allowing Kaz to botch a headscissors. A slingshot DDT looks far better and gets two with Lenny putting the foot on the ropes. With the match starting to go well, we get a split screen countdown clock for the Mayhem video game, which comes out in October. This will stay up for about half the match.
That earns him a big dive from Hayashi but Lodi gets up and dives onto both of them. Could this be, dare I say, a sign of things to come for Lodi? Back in and Lodi powerslams him for two but Kaz escapes a German suplex and scores with a quick brainbuster. Kaz goes up but Lenny crotches him down, setting up a middle rope bulldog for two more. Lenny comes in…..and gets small packaged for the pin? Sure why not.
Rating: C. So let me make sure I’ve got this straight: they managed to job the Cruiserweight Champion in a match he wasn’t even in? Even WWE can’t pull off that kind of nonsense. The match was actually entertaining with Lodi more than keeping up with the high flier Hayashi. It would seem that Kaz is going to challenge for the title next. That’s fine based on his skills, but this is a pretty big downgrade from Kidman, Mysterio, Guerrera and Guerrero.
Lenny and Lodi lay Kaz out post match.
Here’s Hogan to a massive New York reaction. I’ll give the old WWF towns this: they’re the most loyal fans in the world. If you’re ever over there, you will be until the end of time. It was his son that made him believe in the power of Hulkamania again brother and he would NEVER stab Sting in the back. He can’t wait to see this proof from Luger, so he’ll be sitting in the back, eating fruit (his words) and waiting. Luger better not try to frame him either.
Hogan and Flair have new home videos. I only mention this because a piano starts playing, distracts them, and then stops abruptly.
La Parka/Blitzkrieg vs. Rey Mysterio Jr./Eddie Guerrero
Eddie’s stoic look during Rey’s high energy entrance makes me chuckle. La Parka’s skeleton is red and he starts with Mysterio. First up though, it’s time to dance. Rey slaps La Parka in the face and sends him to the floor, bringing in Eddie to throw his partner to the floor for a tornado DDT. Blitzkrieg takes Eddie down and hits a rolling senton followed by a moonsault for two, only to walk into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for the same. Back to Mysterio for a Lionsault on Blitzkrieg before he pulls La Parka down by the mask. A chop puts Rey down and a Hart Attack with Blitzkrieg kicking Rey instead of clotheslining him gets two.
Vampiro and the Clowns come out again as heel miscommunication allows the hot tag to Eddie. Everything breaks down and Eddie hits a gorgeous top rope hurricanrana to Blitzkrieg. Blitzkrieg misses a handspring into a moonsault and gets caught on the top, allowing Eddie to launch Rey into another hurricanrana. Eddie tosses Rey over the top onto La Parka, setting up the Frog Splash to Blitzkrieg for the pin.
Rating: B. Really, really fun tag match here which somehow didn’t even make it four minutes. This continues the trend of letting talented high fliers get into the ring and jump around for a little while. That hurricanrana from Eddie was absolutely perfect and some of the high flying looked great. And somehow it’s all designed to get the Clowns over, because WCW.
Berlyn video, followed by Berlyn and his Lana (Uta Ludendorf), flanked by security. Through the interpreter, Berlyn brags about Germany being awesome and says his wrestling is art. Fan: “WE WANT ALEX WRIGHT!” It’s so loud that everyone in the ring looks over at him. A consortium of German businessmen have turned him into the perfect wrestler and his first victim is Buff Bagwell.
Buff represents everything bad about America and will be a good first victory. The interpreter acknowledges that Berlyn speaks English and has indeed been here before, but that language is beneath him. She forgets her line and says losing is…….it is not acceptable! She’s no Lana.
Fall Brawl video, featuring Savage, Nash, Hart and Steiner.
A banged up Luger comes out and says someone in red and yellow attacked him and went through his bags. No word on if the evidence was taken, or why Lex Luger is in a major storyline in 1999.
Tag Team Titles: Kendall Windham/Barry Windham vs. Prince Iaukea/Kenny Kaos
This would be the WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE THEY THINKING AND WHERE IS THE REMOTE match of the week. Kendall takes Prince up to the ropes as Tony describes the champs as a new duo. That’s up there with Gorilla Monsoon calling Carlos Colon a youngster. Iaukea fires off a quick dropkick but eats a boot to the face. A jumping DDT knocks Prince silly and Kendall throws him outside. Back in and a knee drop retains the titles. No one ever made a tag.
Post match Barry says the champs have no competition, including Harlem Heat. This brings out Booker and Stevie for a lot of kicks, one leading to the referee counting a pin on Kendall. The Rednecks come out and beat down Harlem Heat, including hog tying Booker. The feud continues for some reason.
Here are Luger and Sting to present Lex’s evidence. The evidence is a picture of Hogan standing next to a white Hummer, proving that he was the one that tried to kill Nash. We’re still on that story??? Hogan comes out and says the obvious, that this doesn’t prove anything. Sting believes Luger and questions Hogan, but here’s DDP to nail Hogan before running off. Sting asks Hogan why he should believe him.
Nitro Girls.
Van Hammer vs. Buff Bagwell
The bell rings and that means it’s time to pose. Buff grabs an armdrag and we’ve got Germans. The distraction lets Hammer choke Bagwell (to be fair though, anything shiny, including Berlyn’s head, is going to distract him) but Buff scores with a hiptoss and clothesline. Buff goes up top and gets slammed down from the top by the neck. That’s quite the painful looking move. They head outside for a quick beating from Hammer before we hit the chinlock. Our hero hits Hammer low and gets two off a cross body, setting up the Blockbuster for the pin.
Rating: D. So let me make sure I have this straight: we’re supposed to care about a guy who used a Blockbuster to win a boxing match beating a guy who used to be a peace loving hippie to set up for his match against what might be a Neo Nazi and used to be a dancer. This is one of those stories that you don’t want to see, and then when you explain it, your head starts to hurt.
Clip of Nash being crushed by the Hummer, nearly three months ago.
Insane Clown Posse CD ad.
Mike Enos vs. Evan Karagias
For some reason Evan wears jeans to the ring and takes them off to wrestle. Evan scores with a pair of dropkicks to start and a third sends Enos to the floor where Karagias hits a fourth dropkick. His springboard dive is caught in midair though and Mike throws him over the shoulder to walk him up the steps and back into the ring. That kind of power display is always impressive. Granted it’s not as impressive as knowing how many seconds there are until Mayhem comes out.
The fans are begging Sid to come out and end this match. Well Enos was in the match when Hall jumped the railing to debut so why not have Sid do it here? Evan hammers away and gets countered into a big powerbomb followed by a powerslam. Mike picks him up off the cover though and hits a wicked piledriver. Good grief Vampiro and the Clowns are back. The Clowns distract the referee, allowing Vampiro to kick Mike in the head, giving Karagias the pin.
Rating: D+. The match wasn’t even that bad but my goodness I don’t want to see Vampiro and the Clowns any more. They’ve been out here three times now and we had to see them plug their CD. At the end of the day, they’re not wrestlers and they’re not driving the ratings through the roof, so why does WCW insist on driving them down our throats and give them all this TV time?
Vampiro gets in his face and says Evan owes him. Cue the Demon, who says this isn’t the time for Vampiro. Do they even know what this is supposed to mean?
Hugh Morrus/Brian Knobbs vs. Dean Malenko/Shane Douglas
Because this feud needs to keep going. Knobbs calls the Revolution a bunch of crybabies and you know it’s time for a fight. The First Family takes over and give Douglas the Pit Stop. Morrus and Knobbs hit running splashes in the corner until Dean comes in, presumably out of boredom. Everything breaks down and Malenko puts Brian in the Cloverleaf, only to have to deal with Jimmy Hart. Morrus and Knobbs take Dean down on the floor but Hugh misses No Laughing Matter to Douglas. Shane even dives off the top to take out all the heels but it winds up being a double countout.
Rating: D. WHY IS THE REVOLUTION FEUDING WITH THE FIRST FREAKING FAMILY??? You have the Windhams as the Tag Team Champions (which is an even bigger headscratcher) talking about how they have no competition, but Malenko and Douglas, one of the only face teams on the roster not names Harlem Heat, is busy going to double countouts with Brian Knobbs and Hugh Morrus. We could also have Mysterio and Guerrero challenge for the titles, but they’re busy fighting a pair of non-wrestler Clowns. The more I step back and look at this company, the more my head throbs.
They keep fighting to the back and I hope this doesn’t go on to Fall Brawl.
Gene brings out Hogan to continue this thrilling story about him standing next to a car at some point in his life. He mentions his son (who should never be allowed near a car) and promises to deal with Luger next week. Instead, he wants to deal with DDP calling him out every week. He’s right you know. Starting with this show, Page has…..actually he didn’t call him out as much as hit him from behind. Hogan is a liar. Anyway, Goldberg is supposed to face Page tonight but Hogan wants to take his place in the match. Goldberg comes out and suggests a handicap match, which Page comes out to accept. Another bait and switch.
TV Title: Disco Inferno vs. Rick Steiner
Before the match, Disco says he’s living la vida loca and is pretty fly for a white guy. Dang 1999 was a weird time. Rick comes out and decks Disco with a Steiner Line before ripping at his face. The German suplex sends Disco flying and the Steiner Bulldog ends this in a hurry.
Steiner puts on the armbar but Saturn runs out to superkick the champ to the floor.
US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Jerry Flynn
Jerry wants the champ to be checked for weapons but it’s a RUSE as he kicks Benoit in the head. Another kick is countered by the dragon screw leg whip because Benoit doesn’t put up with cheating. He drops Flynn over the top rope to send him outside, setting up a nice baseball slide. Jimmy Hart offers a distraction to keep earning his paycheck and Flynn kicks the champ’s knee to take over. He unleashes the kicks but Benoit avoids a big running boot in the corner and fires off chops. Benoit rolls some Germans but the First Family runs in for the DQ.
Rating: D+. So the Revolution vs. the First Family is more than just the tag feud? Great, the stupidity is spreading. Here’s the thing: you have three members of the First Family in action tonight and they all escape without getting pinned or submitting? Including to the United States Champion? How does this make me care about seeing them again? Am I supposed to care about Hugh Morrus, Brian Knobbs and Jerry Flynn? This company’s priorities are so screwed up.
The Revolution makes the save and Benoit challenges Sid for Fall Brawl. So much for the open challenge.
Goldberg/Hulk Hogan vs. Jersey Triad
Buffer does the intros and Kanyon does his usual schtick. Bigelow hammers Hogan down to start, like 1987 means nothing to him. Hulk comes back with right hands and the Triad is knocked to the floor. The fans want and get Goldberg, who gets to suplex Kanyon. A gorilla press into a World’s Strongest Slam crushes Kanyon again but a Bigelow distraction lets Page come in with a top rope clothesline.
Bigelow pounds away on his back as the Triad starts taking turns. Kanyon’s Russian legsweep into an elbow from Page is good for two, but Goldberg comes back with a double clothesline. The hot tag brings in Hogan to clean house as Tony acts like this has never been done before. Hogan boots and legdrops Bigelow for the pin as Page hits Goldberg with a chair and a Diamond Cutter. Goldberg pops up and Page is terrified.
Rating: D. Here’s the problem with this match: did it ever feel like Hogan or Goldberg couldn’t beat these three on their own? This was just a workout for Goldberg and Hogan before they can get on to something more important. It really shows the gap between the levels of competition as the main event scene is miles ahead of even former World Champions like Page. This was a glorified squash with Goldberg being nice enough to sell for about a minute.
We jump to the back where Sting is asking security if Hogan is in his locker room. My goodness I know Sting is seen as stupid at times but this is ridiculous. Anyway he goes into Hogan’s locker room to find Randy Savage and Gorgeous George to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. More than any other episode, this show was incredibly frustrating and showed that WCW doesn’t care about going forward as much as it cares about keeping the old guys happy. There are so many talented people locked in feuds designed to either keep them busy so they can’t move up the card (Revolution) or so they can babysit niche celebrities who want to wrestle (Eddie and Rey).
On the other side of the card, there’s the story of who was driving the Hummer and is Hogan really evil. That actually isn’t the worst story in the world and I’m kind of interested in seeing where it goes. The problem I have with it is how Lex Luger is the only person showing the slightest bit of common sense or continuity. Hogan has screwed over every major name on the roster at some point (the Fingerpoke of Doom and beatdown of Goldberg was less than eight months ago) and no one but Luger is questioning Hogan whatsoever. That’s hard to accept, at least so quickly.
Overall, the company is running out of gas and is dying for some fresh blood at the top. However, they’re content with Hogan, Goldberg (who is fresh enough), Sting, Steiner and Sid as their top names while the rest of the roster is shackled to whatever stupid stories they can come up with. It’s very clear that Benoit is going to drop the US Title to Sid, because Benoit’s push was clearly just until WCW could find a way to get the title back into the main event talent’s hands so they could “draw” with it. You can see the future coming from here and it’s terrifying.
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Royal Rumble Count-Up – 1994: I…..Uh…..What the Heck Man?
Royal Rumble 1994 Date: January 22, 1994
Location: Providence Civic Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Attendance: 14,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Ted DiBiase
This is one of those shows where the good stuff is good but the bad stuff is REALLY bad. The main idea here is that someone has to stop Yokozuna, and it’s going to be one of three people: Bret Hart or Lex Luger who could get the shot by winning the Rumble, or the Undertaker who has a casket match against Yoko tonight for the title. Oh….this is going to be a long night. Let’s get to it.
Vince is on commentary here and gets to do his carnival barker stuff. The guy knows how to make a show sound exciting, I have to give him that. DiBiase comes out to do commentary with McMahon due to having to retire late in 1993 due to a bunch of injuries.
Tatanka vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
Bigelow is in Ludvig Borga’s spot because Borga broke his ankle. Bigelow pounds on Tatanka to start and dropkicks him into the corner. Tatanka literally bounces off of Bigelow before coming back with a chop to take Bigelow down. A DDT puts Bam Bam down again but Tatanka goes up for a cross body, missing Bigelow by a mile. This is a REALLY hot start so far. Bigelow crushes Tatanka in the corner with a splash and things slow down somewhat.
Tatanka gets in a shot to the head and tries a top rope sunset flip, only to have Bam Bam sit on him. When all else fails, sit on the other guy. Off to a bearhug for about two minutes before Bigelow drops him with a shoulder block. Tatanka starts his war path thing so Bam Bam decks him in the head with an enziguri to drop him. The moonsault misses though and Tatanka goes up again, this time hitting the cross body for the pin.
Rating: C+. Shockingly hot opener here and if you cut the bear hug in half or so, this is a really solid match. They stuck to the formula really well here and the match was good as a result. This is one of the nice surprises in wrestling: on paper this sounded horrible but it turned out to be a pretty nice match. Good opener.
We recap the tag title match, which is a rare instance where it’s all about the challengers rather than the champions. Owen Hart was the only Hart Brother eliminated in the Survivor Series match against Shawn and his Knights, which ticked him off. Owen had been whipped into Bret on the apron and the distraction let Shawn roll Owen up for the pin.
This caused Owen to cut a heel promo, talking about how he was tired of being in Bret’s shadow and wanting a match with him to escape it. Bret of course said no, but instead offered to team up with Owen to get his brother his first championship. Owen talked about leading the team but seemed genuinely ok at this point. For some reason we also see the Quebecers losing the tag titles to the 1-2-3 Kid and Marty Jannetty for a single week for some reason.
The Harts talk about all the teams they’re going to give title shots to once they win the belts tonight.
Tag Titles: Bret Hart/Owen Hart vs. Quebecers
The Quebecers are managed by Johnny Polo, who would change his name to Raven in ECW. Pierre and Bret start things off with the challenger taking over. Off to Owen to work on the arm with his signature spinning counter to a wristlock. Off to Jacques and they botch something, but Owen hits a quick suplex to keep things on track. An enziguri gets two for Owen and it’s back to Bret.
After a bunch of rollups by Bret, everything breaks down and the Quebecers take over. Actually scratch that as Owen hits a kind of spear into a rollup for two and the Harts stand tall. It’s Bret vs. Jacques with Hart in control until it’s back to Owen for a gutwrench suplex for two. Bret comes back in, only to get powerslammed down by Pierre. A pair of knees to the back gets two and it’s back to Jacques.
That goes nowhere so Pierre comes in to jump into a boot. Owen comes back in and belly to bellys Jacques down before hooking the Sharpshooter. Pierre bulldogs Owen down for a fast save of course and it’s back to Pierre legally. Owen dropkicks both Quebecers down and it’s off to Bret again. For some reason both champions are allowed to stay in the ring for way too long. Pierre is atomic dropped to the floor, and now we get to the turning point of the match: Johnny Polo holds the ropes open to send Bret to the floor. Bret comes up holding his knee and he’s in big trouble.
Pierre rams the knee into the barricade to further the damage and the match turns into a kind of sloppy brawl on the floor. Owen finally throws Bret back into the ring and the leg work begins. Jacques puts on a half crab but Owen makes a fast save. The champions load up the Cannonball (kind of an aided Swanton) but Bret rolls away. Instead of tagging though, Bret tries the Sharpshooter….and the referee stops the match for the knee injury.
Rating: B-. This is one of those matches where you can look at it in multiple ways. From a match standpoint, it’s a standard tag match with the faces and heels doing exactly what they would be expected to do. On the other hand, the idea here was about setting up Owen’s heel turn, and the ending does that perfectly. There was no reason for Bret to not tag at the end and it sets Owen off as it should.
Post match Owen glares at Bret and paces back and forth. Bret manages to pull himself up but can barely stand up. Owen kicks the leg out, officially turning heel to HUGE booing. He leaves so here are some officials to come check on Bret. Ray Rougeau, a reporter for WWF at this point, comes out to interview Bret while he’s on his back in agony. For some reason that cracks me up.
Owen is in the back and goes on a huge tirade about how selfish Bret is and how Bret cost him the biggest match of his career. Bret is being carried to the back and has to watch this promo on the video screen. Owen’s face here is great as he unleashes all this pent up anger and frustration on Bret, saying he’ll win the Rumble because he doesn’t have to count on Bret. This would be the top feud for the next eight months or so.
Intercontinental Title: IRS vs. Razor Ramon
Guess who is defending here. JR and Gorilla Monsoon do commentary for this match. IRS goes on a big rant about how evil the crowd here is for not paying their taxes, even though they have about three months left to file. Razor goes off on IRS to start, knocking him out to the floor. IRS comes back with some forearms but Razor punches him right back down to take over again.
Ramon hits a bunch of basic stuff like atomic drops and clotheslines for some two counts, but IRS ducks under a clothesline to send Razor out to the floor. Back in and IRS goes up but jumps into a boot. For one of the only times I can EVER remember this happening, IRS avoids the foot and drops an elbow for two instead. WHY IS THAT SO HARD FOR PEOPLE TO DO???
We hit the chinlock for well over a minute before Razor fights up and hits the fallaway slam. The referee gets knocked out in the corner and IRS grabs his briefcase, only for Razor to take it back and clock him in the head with it. No referee though, so Razor loads up a belly to back superplex. There’s still no referee, so Razor sets for the Edge, only to have Shawn run out and clock him with the fake IC Title. IRS finally wakes up and pins Razor for the title.
Rating: D+. This wasn’t bad but the overbooking hurt it a lot. This should have lasted about three minutes less and it would have been a lot better. Oddly enough I don’t remember IRS being champion at all, but then again this is the remastered version so maybe they really cleaned things up.
Or maybe another referee comes out to explain the interference and the match is restarted. Razor hits the Edge to retain.
Bearer and Undertaker are making a coffin for Yoko.
We recap the world title match, which is Yoko being scared of Taker and Taker being one of the last hopes to stop the monster. Apparently the contract was signed before Yoko and company knew it was a casket match. Taker I believe debuted his popping out of the casket spot in this feud.
WWF World Title: The Undertaker vs. Yokozuna
They stare each other down to start and Taker fires off his uppercuts to stagger the champion. A clothesline puts Yoko down and another uppercut puts Yoko on the floor. Taker is sent into the steps and it’s immediately no sold, scaring Yoko to death again. There’s Old School but the jumping clothesline misses as Yoko ducks. Why does no one else ever think of doing that?
They fight over a chair on the floor which winds up going upside Yoko’s head. There’s a plastic chair to the back of the champion but Yoko grabs the trusty salt to blind Taker. Now it’s Taker’s back getting hit with the chair and we head back inside. A clothesline puts Taker down but he fights out of the casket. Taker wins a slugout in the middle of the ring but Yoko belly to belly suplexes him down. Come on. You know that’s not holding him down. Taker pops up and grabs Yoko by the throat and hits a DDT to put the champion down again.
Yoko is placed in the casket but here’s Crush to block Taker from closing it. Taker slugs him down so here’s Great Kabuki and Tenryu but Taker beats them down as well. Yoko is still out cold in the casket. Bam Bam Bigelow comes in now and it’s 4-1 in the ring. One has to wonder why Paul Bearer doesn’t go over and close the casket but this match doesn’t seem to be the most logical one. Fuji and Cornette have stolen the Urn.
Yoko finally gets out of the casket as Bearer beats up Fuji and Cornette, stealing the Urn back. He uses it to recharge Taker, who fights off all four mercenaries. Now it’s Adam Bomb to make it technically 8-1 but Taker fights everyone off with the salt bucket. Jeff Jarrett comes in as well, as do the Headshrinkers. That makes it NINE wrestlers (Yoko, Crush, Kabuki, Tenryu, Bigelow, Jarrett, Samu, Fatu, Adam Bomb) against Undertaker.
AND HE GETS UP. Diesel comes out and they get Taker in the coffin but he fights ALL OF THEM OFF. Yoko steals the Urn and hits Taker in the head with it before opening the Urn. Green smoke comes out of it and Taker now is powerless. Everyone hits a bunch of moves on him as this goes on WAY too long. After ALL THAT, Taker is put in the coffin and Yoko retains the title.
Rating: F. On a major wrestling show, The Undertaker just fought off ten men until green smoke was released to drain him of his power. I’ve seen Japanese anime that makes more sense than this. Oh and the match itself, as in the one on one part, might have gone about six minutes.
BUT IT GETS WORSE!
The heels all push the coffin away when a gong goes off. Smoke comes out of the casket…..and a FREAKING CAMERA FEED FROM INSIDE THE CASKET POPS UP ON THE SCREEN. Taker says his soul lives in everyone and he can’t be extinguished. He says there’s going to be a rebirth of the Undertaker and he won’t rest in peace. Then electrical noises go off and we get something like an inverse camera shot (as in it’s all in black and white but what is white is black and what is black is white).
Then, to REALLY hammer home the point, the image on the screen starts to rise up through the top of the screen (which should be the top of the casket, meaning it should be ramming into the people that put him in the freaking casket) and A FREAKING BODY RISES OUT OF THE TOP OF THE SCREEN. AS IN A TANGIBLE BODY (which might have been played by Marty Jannetty).
In other words, WWF just said Taker is something like Jesus. Oh and one other thing to really make sure this is stupid: YOU CAN’T SEE IT. All I can see are some quick shots of it when flashes go off. This is one of those things that embarrasses me as a wrestling fan. I mean…..WOW.
The usual Rumble interviews eat up some time.
Royal Rumble
Scott Steiner is #1 and Samu is #2. Also the intervals are every 90 seconds this year so the entrances will come in faster than ever. Scott pounds away to start and hits a butterfly suplex as Samu tries to hang on. He does indeed survive and kills Scott with a clothesline. Rick Steiner is #3 and Samu is in BIG trouble. After some suplexes he’s out very quickly (but not before getting his head caught in the top and middle rope which is always kind of scary looking), giving us the Battle of the Steiners.
That battle literally lasts six seconds as Kwang (Savio Vega in a mask, allegedly Asian here) is #4. Scott suplexes Kwang down and Owen Hart is #5 to BIG heel heat. The heels take over and Owen actually dumps Rick out. That’s one of the rare times where the constant pushing against the ropes worked. Bart Gunn is #6 and things speed up a bit. No one really does anything so here’s Diesel at #7. This is where things pick up as this match is without a doubt Diesel’s coming out party.
He beats on everyone and throws out Bart, Scott, Owen and Kwang inside of 45 seconds. Bob Backlund is #8 and immediately goes for the leg. He actually gets Diesel up against the ropes and upside down, but Diesel will have none of that. Who would believe these two would have a world title match in Madison Square Garden later in the year? Backlund is gone quickly. Billy Gunn is #9 and doesn’t even last fifteen seconds.
We cut to the back where Kabuki and Tenryu are destroying Lex Luger. After Diesel stands around for a bit, he has to throw out Virgil who is #10 in about thirty seconds (causing DiBiase to laugh loudly and get in some good verbal jabs). Note that the fans are LOUDLY chanting for Diesel here, who had NEVER gotten a reaction until this point. No one has been able to stand up to Diesel at all so far. #11 is Randy Savage. This should be a bit better challenge I’d think.
Savage goes right for him and pounds away on the big man in the corner before peppering him with jabs. He has Diesel in trouble but Jeff Jarrett is #12 to save the not yet Big Daddy Cool. We hear about Jarrett wanting to become WWF Champion so he’ll be a famous country singer in Nashville. And people wonder why he never got over until he completely changed everything about his character.
Savage is thrown to the apron by Jarrett but Randy comes back and eliminates Jeff with ease. Crush, who Savage HATES at this point, is #13. Diesel just kind of chills in the corner as Savage beats up Crush. The numbers finally catch up with Savage though until Crush eliminates him with ease. Doink is #14 and he gets beaten up as well but not tossed. Here’s his big rival Bam Bam Bigelow at #15 and it’s 3-1 now. Bigelow easily thorws the clown out ala the Spike Dudley throw from ECW.
Mabel is #16 and dang there are some big guys in there. He goes right for Diesel in a terrifying preview of Summerslam 95. Mabel cleans house until Sparky Plugg (Bob Holly as a racecar driver and debuting here as a replacement for the 1-2-3 Kid) is #17. Shawn Michaels is #18 and stares down Diesel to start. Everyone gets on Diesel and Shawn gives the final push to eliminate him. Diesel gets a VERY audible ovation and chant as he leaves.
Mo, Mabel’s totally useless partner, is #19. Nothing of note happens so here’s Greg Valentine in a one night only appearance at #20. Mabel misses a charge in the corner and Shawn is gorilla pressed by Crush but not eliminated for some reason. Tatanka comes in at #21. To recap we’ve got Plugg, Valentine, Tatanka, Mabel, Bigelow, Crush, Michaels and Mo in there. Valentine puts Michaels on the apron but can’t get him out.
Kabuki is #22 and almost everyone gangs up on Mabel to dump him out. It’s amazing how much easier it is to see with the big fat purple tub of goo out of there. Lex Luger (looking FINE after that attack like 15 minutes ago) is #23 and he cleans house. There are ten people in the ring right now but there goes Kabuki at the hands of Lex. Luger clotheslines Bigelow down and here’s Tenryu at #24.
There are WAY too many people in there right now. Like seriously, do we need FREAKING MO in there? Or Valentine? Those are bodies you could dump out and no one would care. Luger and Tenryu go at it as Shawn is almost dumped out. Bastion Booger is supposed to be #25 but he’s not here for some reason (Vince says it was supposed to be Bret Hart but more on that in a bit). I believe there are nine people in there at the moment so Booger not coming in was a good thing. Granted it was a good thing either way but you get the idea. Rick Martel is #26 and nothing happens.
For your big face pop of the match (other than Diesel): Bret Hart is #27 and limping very badly. Today, people would have a bandage on the knee and charge to the ring because modern wrestling is stupid. Fatu is #28 and DEAR FREAKING GOODNESS THROW SOMEONE OUT ALREADY! A bunch of guys team up and FINALLY throw Crush out as Marty Jannetty is #29. Naturally he goes right for Shawn and punches Shawn to the apron.
Adam Bomb is #30, giving us a ridiculous THIRTEEN FINAL PEOPLE in the Rumble. The final group is Bigelow, Sparky, Shawn, Mo (seriously, FREAKING MO?), Valentine, Tatanka, Luger, Tenryu, Martel, Hart, Fatu, Jannetty and Bomb. Bret saves Shawn (shocking I know) to dump out Sparky, thank goodness. Bret beats on everyone as we still need to get rid of more people. Everyone beats on everyone for awhile and nothing is happening. DiBiase: “The smart thing to do is go after Bret Hart’s knee.” Vince: “The smart thing to do is throw people out of the ring.” Did….did Vince just burn Ted Dibiase?
Martel dumps Valentine but is quickly dumped out by Tatanka. Luger throws out Bomb and Mo is FINALLY put out as well. Bigelow tosses Tatanka and Lex forearms Bam Bam out. Jannetty goes out to get us down to Luger, Hart, Fatu, Tenryu and Shawn. Tenryu rams Shawn and Fatu’s heads together which only hurts Shawn of course. Luger and Bret put out Tenryu and it’s Bret vs. Shawn (duh). Luger goes for Fatu’s head and gets superkicked for being stupid.
The heels put Luger on the apron but he fights them both off and clotheslines Fatu into a 360. Bret dumps Fatu and Luger dumps Shawn and we’re down to two. They slug it out and Luger picks up Bret, but they both fall out at the same time, giving us a double elimination to end the Rumble.
Rating: C+. This is a hard one to grade. The pacing is TERRIBLE with guys like Sparky Plugg and Mo staying in for over twenty minutes each, but the action is solid for the most part. The stuff with Diesel is excellent and it truly made him a star. The ending stuff once they got rid of about seven guys in 90 seconds was good too, but stuff in the middle didn’t work all that well.
Post match there’s a disagreement over who wins but both guys have their music played. This would lead to a somewhat complicated decision where there was a coin toss and two world title matches at Mania. This goes on for about eight minutes or so but it’s just the referees arguing and both guys saying they won. Replays don’t really show us anything either. They do a good job here of making it impossible to tell who won, unlike in 2005 when it was clear that one of them (I want to say Cena) hit first. They’re finally declared co-winners to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. This show is one where it’s very hard to come up with an overall grade. I really liked the opener and the tag match and Rumble were both good, but when a show has what might be the dumbest moment in wrestling history (and that covers A LOT of stupid moments), it’s brought down a lot. Early 1994 was not a good time for the WWF but once they finally picked Bret as the guy, things got a lot better.
Ratings Comparison
Tatanka vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
Original: B
Redo: C+
Quebecers vs. Bret Hart/Owen Hart
Original: A+
Redo: B-
Razor Ramon vs. IRS
Original: C+
Redo: D+
Yokozuna vs. Undertaker
Original: F
Redo: F
Royal Rumble
Original: B
Redo: C+
Overall Rating
Original: B
Redo: C-
DANG I liked this show a lot better on the first viewing.
For my Christmas present to you, we’re looking at the strongest force in the universe: the Mega Powers.
The team got started when the Hart Foundation and Honky Tonk Man attacked Savage, causing Elizabeth to head to the back to get help. She picked Hulk Hogan for the save and the amazing handshake followed. Here they are in their first major tag match together, in the main event of Summerslam 1988.
Mega Powers vs. Mega Bucks
Jesse sends all three managers (Virgil, Heenan and Liz) to the floor but not to the back. He also makes the teams change corners for no apparent reason. Savage gets to fight Andre to start but it’s quickly off to DiBiase. He wants Hogan and gets both Hulk and an atomic drop into a right hand from Savage. Hogan pounds DiBiase as well and it’s off to Savage for some double elbows. A top rope ax handle gets two for Savage off a slow count from Ventura.
Andre comes in to beat Hogan down but Jesse is with Liz. Now the Giant comes in legally and sits on Hogan’s chest a few times before putting on a nerve hold. With DiBiase coming in sans tag, Andre chokes away with his singlet. Ted comes in legally for a near fall off a clothesline before dropping those trademark fists of his. Off to a chinlock which Gorilla swears is a choke. Hogan finally elbows his way out of the hold but a double clothesline puts both guys down.
The hot tag brings in Savage to pound away on DiBiase with right hands and a backdrop. A top rope ax handle puts DiBiase down again but Ted rams him into the top turnbuckle to change momentum again. DiBiase clotheslines Savage down and it’s off to Giant again. Andre sits on Savage in the corner which is a lot more devastating than it sounds. Back to DiBiase who gets two off a suplex. Ted goes up for a middle rope elbow, but Savage uses all of his flying elbow experience and rolls away.
Hulk comes in again off the real hot tag and cleans house on both Mega Bucks but Savage jumps into Andre’s boot. Hogan puts DiBiase in a sleeper but Andre makes the save with some headbutts. The Mega Powers are down, but Liz gets on the apron and in the most famous part of the match, takes off her skirt to reveal a bikini bottom and some nice legs. The distraction lets the Mega Powers do their big handshake and Hulk Up as one. A top rope ax handle to Andre, a flying elbow and legdrop to DiBiase later and things are pretty much done. Jesse only counts two, so Savage has to shove his hand down for the three.
Rating: B-. Much like the original Wrestlemania main event, there isn’t much to see here but it’s a fun match. It gave the fans exactly what they wanted and the Liz bit was a big surprise as she NEVER did anything sexual up to that point and rarely did after. Hogan and Savage were obviously going to win, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a fun moment and a decent main event.
Then in the main event of Survivor Series 1988.
Team Mega Powers vs. Team Twin Towers
Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, Koko B. Ware, Hillbilly Jim, Hercules
Big Bossman, Akeem, Ted DiBiase, Red Rooster, Haku
Savage is world champion and this is based on a tag team feud which would be blown off in a huge live match on February 3. Hogan comes out to his own theme music after his partners all used Savage’s. This is actually a plot point as the Mega Powers would explode because Savage thought Hogan was taking his spotlight. It’s a Wrestlemania rematch with Savage vs. DiBiase to start things off.
They knock each other down with DiBaise taking over in the corner. The champ comes back with right hands and a clothesline. Off to Hercules who is feuding with DiBiase as Ted had called Hercules a slave, prompting a face turn. Instead Herc gets the Red Rooster who doesn’t do well at all, which is the idea. Heenan said he could take anyone, even Rooster, to the top. Off to Koko who gets in a shot to Ware and it’s off to Akeem (One Man Gang).
Haku comes in with a chop but misses a legdrop and it’s back to Herc. I’m not sure why when you have Hogan and Savage on the apron but whatever. Now it’s off to Hogan and the place erupts. He takes Haku down and drops some elbows before bringing Hillbilly in for a quick main event opportunity. Akeem comes in and runs Jim over before bringing Rooster in. Even Gorilla found that stupid. Jim doesn’t do much to Rooster so here’s Koko instead.
Rooster rams Koko’s head into the buckle, but see, Koko is black so it doesn’t hurt. A missile dropkick gets two on Red and it’s off to Hogan. The big boot sets up Savage’s elbow and it’s 5-4. Hogan’s team has a massive in ring celebration while Bossman’s team hits the floor. Heenan rips into Rooster as we get Savage vs. Haku. Haku chokes on the ropes but Hogan makes a blind tag and, brace yourselves, actually loses a slugout!
Haku hits a nice dropkick but gets slammed down and it’s off to Herc. A suplex puts Hercules down and it’s off to Akeem. A splash misses and it’s off to Hillbilly who fires away with all he’s got. Jim’s big boot doesn’t take Akeem down and a clothesline floors Jim. The 747 (big splash) gets the pin and we’re tied up. Koko comes in and dropkicks Akeem in the back before wisely bringing in Hogan to do the heavy lifting.
Back to the world champ with a double ax to the head but they can’t knock Akeem down. Hercules pounds away a bit as does Koko with a dropkick only sending Akeem into the corner. Akeem shrugs it off and hits Koko once to take over. Off to Boss Man who hits his namesake slam to make it 4-3. It’s Hogan in now and this is the match everyone has been wanting to see.
Hogan pounds him into the corner and everyone left on Hogan’s team (Hogan, Savage, Hercules vs. Bossman, Akeem, DiBiase, Haku) gets in a shot. Hogan easily slams the then bigger Boss Man but he charges into a spinebuster. That looked really good too. Back to Akeem and the big men hit a double elbow to take Hulk down. Off to Haku who gets in some shots to the neck before tagging in Boss Man. I wonder why they’ve gone so long since having DiBiase in there.
Naturally as I say that he comes in and clotheslines Hogan down. A falling punch gets two but Hogan Hulks Up. Off to Hercules for some revenge and some hard clotheslines and punches. Virgil trips him up though and a school boy eliminates Hercules. It’s now 4-2 but Savage charges in and rolls up DiBiase to pin him within about ten seconds.
Haku comes in again but misses a headbutt, allowing Hogan to get the tag. Something like a superkick takes Hulk down and it’s back to Boss Man for some headbutts tot he back. Akeem comes in for his usual shots before it’s back to Haku again, who suplexes Hulk for two. It’s nerve hold time followed by the Boss Man Slam for no cover. Instead Boss Man goes up and misses a splash.
The hot tag brings in Savage who cleans house. Slick trips Randy up and things slow down again. Boss Man puts on a bearhug as Slick goes after Liz, grabbing her by the arm. Hulk makes the save and DRILLS Slick with a right hand. The Towers go to handcuff Hogan to the rope but Boss Man gets counted out in the process. Boss Man beats on Hogan with the nightstick and then goes to beat on Savage. Akeem helps with that, drawing a DQ for himself and getting us down to Hogan and Savage vs. Haku.
Hogan is still cuffed to the rope though so it’s basically a one on one match. Haku beats on Savage as the camera is on the Towers leaving. Slick has the keys and is taunting Hogan with them. Savage holds the rope and avoids a kick but there’s no Hogan to tag. Haku accidentally superkicks Slick and Liz raids his pocket to get the key. Hogan is freed and Haku hits a top rope splash for two. Hot tag to Hogan and since it’s 1988, you can fill in the ending for yourself.
Rating: C+. While not great, this was better than the previous match to be sure. This would be part of the Mega Powers Exploding, as Savage would be jealous of Hogan for getting the glory and not being there for him earlier in the match. It’s no classic or anything, but 80s Hogan is always fun.
This led to the big showdown at the second Main Event. The story here though is the post match promo, which I’ll throw in as a bonus.
Twin Towers vs. Mega Powers
This is an hour long show and the match is over twenty minutes long so if you didn’t get the idea, this is the only reason to watch this show. After the Towers get to the ring, we get a video about Hogan and Savage. This isn’t your typical video however. This is set to a WAY too upbeat song called You’re A Friend Of Mine by Clarence Clemens Jackson Browne. Look it up and picture a highlight package of Hogan and Savage. It looks like the intro to a REALLY bad sitcom. I can’t make this stuff up people.
Hogan and Savage say there is no issue with these three. The underlying theme here is that Hogan allegedly loves Liz but Hogan insists it’s just like a brother and sister. In short, this became about Hogan which Savage didn’t like which has to be at least half legitimate. Everyone talks a lot here and hey now let’s have a match.
Boss Man starts and Savage and Hogan both want to start for their team. Boss Man wants Hogan so Savage can’t get his way again. Hogan looks especially orange tonight. The heels are cleared out by Super Hogan alone and the fans are WAY into it. The little things in this match like Savage wearing Hogan’s colors with the words Mega Powers written on them but Hogan wearing his usual gear is very well done.
Akeem comes in and here’s Savage to meet him. Oh wait never mind Hogan needs to come back in. He even comes off the second rope to work on the arm a bit. Boss Man hits a Piledriver and Hogan does his fish out of water dance on the mat. I’m not sure if it looks more like that or a steak being grilled. One or the other. Jesse points out that Hogan is hogging the ring time and he’s absolutely right at this point.
Slick gets involved so Savage drills him in the face. Spinebuster which is unnamed at this point gets two. Savage finally comes in this has been ALL Mega Powers. Top rope cross body puts Akeem down but Slick gets a shot in to take down the Macho Man and momentum shifts. Savage is still world champion here if I didn’t mention that and you’re not familiar with this era.
And now we get to the meat of this show. Akeem throws Savage to the floor and he wipes Elizabeth out, landing right on top of her (lucky). She’s GONE and Hogan goes to try to help her which ticks Savage off for some reason. “Oh no the woman I love is getting helped after I was incapacitated! SCREW THAT!” Hogan carries Liz to the back in as dramatic a fashion as possible. He leaves with her as they check her out.
We get the other fun part of this as Hogan’s acting is at its peak here. Keep in mind we stay on Hogan and Liz for like 3 minutes with ZERO talk of what’s going on in the ring. Back from a break we get a bumper of the match and now back to General Wrestling Hospital. Hogan keeps saying thank God and making weird noises. I don’t have the video up as I’m typing here and the sounds are just disturbing. Leaving out the word God it’s God Elizabeth God Elizabeth and random moaning and groaning and breathing sounds.
FINALLY he realizes he’s left his partner for like ten minutes against two monsters so he comes back for the save and the glory. Oh but instead of like, I don’t know, GETTING IN THE RING and beating the tar out of one of the guys and helping Savage, he gets on the apron and grabs the tag rope. Savage continues to do all of the work and beats up Boss Man but won’t tag Hogan.
Savage slaps Hogan nice and hard and leaves him. Serves the bald pest right too. Macho stands on the floor and then leaves with his belt. For once Hogan has absolutely no one to blame but himself here. More on that later though. Air Africa (Akeem’s splash) hits Hogan, he Hulks Up, Boss Man apparently asks Slick if he knows where he can find a good turkey on rye as he pays NO attention to what’s going on and Hogan gets the pin.
Rating: C. Total angle here with a match as the backdrop but this was a big deal to put it mildly. This would be like Orton turning on Cena when they had been best friends for like a year. The match is just ok but that’s all it needed to be. Hogan’s hammy acting aside, this was perfectly fine for what it was.
Hogan goes to the back where Savage is losing his mind, talking about how the champion is supposed to be #1 to Liz who is laying on the table with apparently NO ONE checking on her at all. We now get the greatest promo of Savage’s career as he just goes off on Hogan, ranting and raving about how Hogan has stolen the spotlight from him since day one and how if Hogan wanted a title shot all Hogan had to do was ask and he would have beaten him 1-2-3.
He talks about how Hogan is jealous and lusting after Liz before DRILLING with the belt and beating the living heck out of Hogan in probably the biggest heel turn in company history at the time. I’d put it ahead of Andre as it was on a bigger stage and Savage’s promo was better.
Beefcake comes in for the save and Savage just ends him with like two shots, showing how worthless he was at the time. Savage leaves Hogan laying. Totally AWESOME segment and one of the best promos that I can ever remember anywhere with Savage letting out a year of frustration and paranoia all on Hogan with everything he said making perfect sense for once. Great segment and well worth checking out.
The team would split up for about six years after this, not reuniting until Clash of the Champions XXX in 1995. This match has one of the most amazing ideas you’ll ever see in wrestling.
Kevin Sullivan/Butcher vs. Hulk Hogan/Randy Savage
Vader gets in Hogan’s face during the entrances and Flair is back in his seat. Hogan throws Butcher into the corner to start and a running clothesline puts him on the mat. Savage comes in off the top with an ax handle to Butcher’s head before bringing Sullivan in for a beating as well. Back to Hogan as we look over Vader’s shoulder. Hulk runs over Butcher but gets caught in the sleeper. Savage tries to make the save twice in a row but Hogan is out cold.
Butcher lets go so Savage tries to wake Hogan up to no avail. With nothing else to do, Savage goes to the top and drops his signature elbow drop, causing Hogan to Hulk Up as he does every time he gets hit with a finishing move. It makes sense in that twisted wrestling logic. I mean….how freaking brilliant is that when you really think about it? Hogan fights back as everything breaks down with Savage being thrown over the top rope and out to the floor. Sullivan sends Randy into the post and then the barricade as the villains take over.
Savage takes a beating from both guys and is thrown to the floor again. He gets up quickly but can barely stay on his feet. Back in and Savage is tied up in the Tree of Woe (hanging upside down in the corner), drawing in Hogan for a failed save attempt. Butcher puts Savage in the sleeper but Randy breaks out with a jawbreaker. Hogan gets the hot tag and cleans house before Savage drops the elbow on Butcher. The legdrop is enough to get the pin.
Rating: D+. There wasn’t much to this one. The match felt like any other Hogan vs. monsters match but the monsters were Kevin Sullivan and the Butcher. At the end of the day, Hogan vs. someone smaller than him very rarely works and these two just weren’t going to cut it. The Reviving Elbow was a stroke of brilliance though.
Here’s a major showdown at Slamboree 1995.
Hulk Hogan/Randy Savage vs. Ric Flair/Vader
Hmm, Flair and Hogan in a big match. I wonder what’s going to happen in the end. I have no idea why I’m bothering to watch this as the ending is as obvious as physically possible. Bischoff makes sure to point out that the fans came to see Hogan. He ignores the other probably 15 world titles in the ring, not to mention everyone else on the card. Renegade of course gets his own entrance, being the least talented of the 6.
Anderson has to pretend to be afraid of him and this is just stupid. Vader and Hogan start us off here. Vader would be gone in a few months to WWF to be replaced by the returning Luger. The faces are completely dominating here. Flair cheats to take over as you can see why this match means nothing at all: the match means nothing at all. It’s a tag match that proves nothing either way. Hogan will still be champion no matter what so why would I want to see this match? That makes no sense at all.
Oh look Hogan is beating up Flair. That’s a relief. For a minute there I thought WCW might be doing something new. I couldn’t handle that! The heels finally take over for a bit here. Oh and there was an appearance of a guy that we couldn’t see clearly. He would become known as the Giant, or later on as he’s known now, the Big Show.
They very kind of imply that he looks like Andre, which would be where they went with it. Vader screws up and shoves the referee across the ring. Naturally since that’s not the finish though he lets it go. The Vader Bomb hits but we have no cover. One from the top misses though and both he and Hogan are down. Yep still not interesting. Oh and Hogan might have died had that top rope Bomb hit. Did Savage vs. Vader ever happen?
That could have been decent. Flair gets slammed off the top for the second time in the match. That can’t be fun. Arn interferes to let the heels take over again. Renegade is fierce apparently. The moonsault hits on Savage and as Hogan makes the save he kicks out anyway. Just a reminder: Angelo Poffo is IN THE HALL OF FAME.
Hogan gets the hot tag and of course, beats the tar out of Flair. After a melee and some botched interference from Anderson, say it with me, HOGAN PINS FLAIR!!! The heels beat up Savage afterwards and then they beat up Angelo Poffo to the shock of no one as no one cares. Savage vs. Flair was the main event of the Great American Bash.
Rating: C+. Not bad I guess. It’s your standard main event tag match with nothing on the line which I never like at all. It was your run of the mill stuff with the heels beating down the faces for a good while until the heels mess up. Nothing too hardcore but nothing bad either.
Time for WarGames at Fall Brawl 1995.
WarGames: Hulkamaniacs vs. Dungeon of Doom
Dungeon: Meng, Kamala, Shark, Zodiac
Hulkamaniacs: Hulk Hogan, Lex Luger, Sting, Randy Savage
Gee, thing it’s one sided enough??? Luger replaced Vader who jumped to WWF a week earlier. They say a stipulation has been added where if Team Hogan wins, he gets 5 minutes with the Taskmaster in the cage tonight. They announced that earlier but maybe the crowd didn’t know yet. Now remember, we have Hogan, Luger, Sting and Savage, a WCW All-Star team vs. Kamala, Haku, Brutus Beefcake and Earthquake. Yeah this is a main event apparently.
Ok to be fair, this is the major feud in the company in their signature match so that makes sense. I have no issue there. I just don’t think this is the best they could do. Why not Flair and Anderson with two other guys? It would at least be more interesting. Sting and Shark start us off. More or less Sting massacres him as you would expect. Shark finally gets some offense in after Sting goes for a slam like the idiot he tended to be.
Sting is one of my favorites ever, but he did some DUMB stuff at times. In a funny spot, Shark goes to the end of one ring and after a running start, JUMPS OVER THE ROPE. However he doesn’t make it all the way as he gets stuck on the two sets of ropes over the gap in the rings. What a visual.
With 30 seconds to go before another guy comes in, Sting goes for the leg. With three seconds to go the Scorpion is on. The heels win the toss (naturally) and Zodiac comes in. In a cool spot, Sting grabs the top of the cage and pulls himself up and kicks Zodiac in the head. Sting does what he can but there is too much fat in there.
Savage comes in to tie it up. Like a crazy man he tries to suplex Shark. Are we really supposed to believe Sting and Savage can’t handle these two? The cage isn’t that great so Savage’s leg is hanging out of the cage and the heels are beating on it. His partners ignore him of course so there we are. Kamala comes in as it’s 3-2. Has Kamala ever won a big match? I don’t think so.
Luger makes it 3-3. There just isn’t much to say about this match as the periods are too short to really get anything going. Also the face team is so ridiculously stacked that there’s no drama whatsoever. Luger accidently hits Savage to attempt to give us some drama as Meng comes in to make it 4-3. Ok now why would Meng hit Luger there? Savage is using energy and hurting Luger so why stop him? The heels dominate for the rest of the period and here he is.
Hogan is the final guy in of course and he has powder. Not only does he have a far better roster of guys but he comes in and cheats. That’s Hogan for you I guess. Naturally he beats up the four guys more or less on his own when Sting, Luger and Savage combined couldn’t do it. That makes perfect sense right?
Heenan says this is like Bosnia. Even Tony stops him on that one. It’s just total domination here as you would expect. This is totally boring at this point as there is no way the heels are winning it. And Hogan gets a TERRIBLE camel clutch on Zodiac for the submission to win.
Rating: D. And that’s with an elevated rating due to it being WarGames. This was just AWFUL as it was so painfully boring. There was never any drama at all. I mean look at the rosters. Would you believe for a second that Hogan’s team was ever going to lose? Of course not and no one bought the heels as having a chance. It could have been worse I guess. Ok no it couldn’t be. One of the weakest WarGames ever.
Here’s a big showdown that could have made a fortune in the 80s, but we get it on Nitro, January 8, 1996.
Ric Flair/Arn Anderson vs. Randy Savage/Hulk Hogan
Lot of time left for this one too. Savage is wearing yellow and red and there are now pictures of Hogan on the floor in the aisle. Oh and this company doesn’t have has beens. They have the best in the world today. In WWF at this point it was Shawn Michaels rising to the top of the company. These jokes write themselves. Savage vs. Flair starts us off officially after a quick tag from Arn.
Flair is champion here and these two would eventually fight for the title at the PPV. Ok never mind as it’s Hogan vs. Flair starting out. Well why have Savage have a competitive match when we can have Flair get beaten up by Hogan? We get to a technical mat based style to start and of course Hogan wins that. A chop does nothing at all but a thumb to the eye of baldie takes him down.
The big boot takes Flair down again and here’s Arn so Hogan can beat up both of them on his own for awhile. Arn comes in as does Savage who of course has a bit more difficulty since he’s not Hogan after all. Double axe off the top gets two for Savage. After running away from Hogan for a bit Flair comes in and gets caught in a Figure Four by Savage. Hogan gets one on Anderson also as the Horsemen look like idiots already.
The Horsemen break up the holds with eye rakes as we take a break. Back with Savage in trouble in an abdominal stretch at the hands of Anderson. Savage gets his foot on the rope but Hogan makes sure to come in anyway to ensure that he gets credit for the save. Savage gets a quick sleeper but Anderson gets out with relative ease. The REAL Figure Four is blocked into a small package for two and then another one for two also.
Eric: Hogan is the freshest man in that ring right now and he wants in that ring. He’s on the apron when Eric says that of course. Flair knees Savage into Hogan and of course he beats up both guys on his own again. McMichael says the plan apparently was for Savage to take care of the Horsemen and then Hogan comes in and cleans house. I’ll let you figure out why that’s nauseating.
Anderson hits the spinebuster and Hogan of course pops up. This is getting sickening. The crowd isn’t popping for this stuff either. Hogan gets the boot and the legdrop for the pin but the Dungeon and the Horsemen run out for a big brawl as Giant beats up Hogan in the ring. Chokeslam for Savage too ends the show.
Rating: D+. Meh, it’s a main event tag match and Hogan gets to be praised and worshipped some more. What else is new really? This naturally was a way for Hogan to look dominant over everyone else and have them all be glorified cannon fodder before we set up the next match against Giant which SUCKED. Not horrible but it’s the same stuff we’ve seen for months now.
Here’s the setup for SuperBrawl VI at Clash of the Champions XXXII.
Randy Savage/Hulk Hogan vs. Ric Flair/The Giant
Savage has a bad arm coming in, which is an injury he had for months. Giant is called a legend despite having his first match about three months ago. Savage and Hogan have a line of women with them, including Woman and Elizabeth. Kevin Greene comes in before there’s any contact and gets down in a three point stance, sending Flair out side. Savage winds up starting with Flair and sends Ric outside where he eats a boot from Hogan.
Back inside and a slap sends Flair into the corner but he comes out with a thumb to the eye to take over. A big right hand sends Randy down but he grabs a backslide for two. The tag brings in Giant and he wants Hogan. Hulk gets a tag as well and Giant shoves him into the corner with ease. Giant easily shoulder blocks Hogan down and blocks a slam with a big forearm over the back. Hogan gets slammed though as the announcers talk about Andre the Giant vs. Hogan in 1987 without mentioning Wrestlemania.
A headbutt to the lower abdomen has Hulk in even more trouble and a backbreaker makes it even worse. Hulk avoids an elbow drop and actually gets the body slam. It hurts him more than Giant though and the bigger man is able to make the tag off to Flair. Ric scores with a suplex but Hogan pops up and takes Flair down with some clotheslines. Jimmy Hart distracts the referee and Giant takes Hulk to the floor for a bearhug. They head inside again and Hogan no sells the chops but runs into an elbow in the corner.
Flair goes up top and of course gets slammed off top, allowing for the tag to Savage. The fans don’t react in the slightest which can’t be a good sign. A top rope ax handle drops Flair and Savage hits the big elbow but Hart offers another distraction. He also throws Flair a foreign object, allowing Ric to knock Savage senseless for the pin.
Rating: C. The match was nothing special but it sets up another Flair vs. Savage match, presumably at SuperBrawl IV. Hogan vs. Giant was your usual stuff for Hulk fighting a monster but it was nice to see him get in trouble and not be able to just beat up Giant with ease. A double main event would seem likely for the pay per view.
Time for a six man tag with the Mega Powers lackey Brutus Beefcake as Booty Man. From Nitro, February 26, 1996.
Ric Flair/Kevin Sullivan/Arn Anderson vs. Booty Man/Hulk Hogan/Randy Savage
This is going to get a lot of time here. Big brawl right from the bell and the faces clear the ring of course. Arn wants time and doesn’t get it. He has to settle for a guy named Booty Man smacking him in the face. That’s your official starting pair and as they stare each other down, here comes Kimberly, the Diamond Doll, to stare at Booty Man. Who came up with that idea for a gimmick? I mean…..did Billy Gunn rip that off?
High Knee (get it?) sends Anderson to the corner as we’re spending a lot of time standing around. Booty Man beats up everyone as I think Anderson is still legal. Apparently not as it’s off to Flair. They can’t seem to go more than 10 seconds without pausing for something or other. Test of strength is won by Beefcake (that’s who it is if I didn’t mention that) as he’s been in there the entire time.
Off to Savage because Savage vs. Flair hasn’t been done in a whole week at this point. Savage clears the ring as apparently there’s no Nitro the next week. Good to know. Hogan comes in to beat on Flair because that’s what he does. This has bee a total wreck so far. A double big boot by Hogan and Billy Gunn’s inspiration gets two on Flair. The heels haven’t been in control yet.
Woman finally does something and grabs Savage’s leg to let Sullivan take over. Savage gets beaten on for a good while both in and out of the ring. He gets a shot in to take Kevin down and it’s back off to Booty Man. Not like Hogan should have to do anything you know. Booty Man sends everyone into Hogan’s boot and the leg drop ends Anderson.
Rating: D. Just a big mess here with the heels looking like idiots for the sake of another of Hogan’s buddies. Flair was world champion here but you’d never know it based on what he had to do every week for the sake of Hogan and company. Very weak main event all around and guess what the main event of the next show is?
From two weeks later on Nitro, March 11, 1996.
Hulk Hogan/Randy Savage/Booty Man vs. Kevin Sullivan/Arn Anderson/Ric Flair
Everyone will have straps that they can use here. There are also lumberjacks around the ring. Giant immediately grabs Hogan and the fight is on. Giant and Loch Ness mess up and hit each other so they get into a brawl of their own. That would be an ugly match at Uncensored. Every one is in the Foley flannel here. Booty Man and Sullivan are the only ones using the straps.
Kimberly comes down to stare at Beefcake/Booty Man. Egads. There don’t seem to be tags required in this. Flair tries to leave but Animal carries him back to the ring. This is more or less a riot instead of an actual match. There is absolutely nothing to say here as everything is all over the place. Hogan beats up some lumberjacks including DDP. Like I said, total mess here with nothing resembling a coherent match.
Flair and Hogan are FINALLY strapped together as Hogan still has a bad eye. No other pair is strapped together. Oh wait they’re not. They all have straps of their own. Shouldn’t that be something clear from the beginning? Big boot and leg drop to Flair out of nowhere end this. One of the biggest messes I’ve ever seen.
Rating: D-. This wasn’t even a match but rather just a mess. Was there a point to this at all? The lumberjacks barely paid attention to the match at all and just brawled the entire time. There was no way to tell what was going on and that’s not a good thing. Just an overbooked mess with no way of telling what happened at all. Not liking it at all.
One more brawl on Nitro, March 18, 1996.
Ric Flair/Kevin Sullivan vs. Randy Savage/Hulk Hogan
Naturally nothing Flair does works on Hogan because why in the world would we want the world champion to look impressive? Hogan puts a Macho Man foam hat on Flair’s head and beats on him even more. Eric points out that Hogan has already beaten everyone. That was basically the idea behind this match: we had no one left to face him so let’s just have him fight everyone at once. How well do you think this went over?
This has been mostly Hogan vs. Flair and remember they don’t have to tag here as it’s Texas (despite being in Tennessee) Tornado rules. We go split screen with both screens maybe filling in a quarter of the screen. You know, because we need a split screen for Savage alone pulling himself up. Eric keeps babbling about Dennis Rodman possibly being at Uncensored which of course he wasn’t at.
They switch off Flair takes Savage down. That can’t happen though so Hogan hammers away on him instead. Finally the heels take over for a bit and it’s a Figure Four on Savage. Instead of SAVING HIS PARTNER Hogan puts one on Taskmaster. Savage reverses his and Flair lets it go. Flair shoves the referee so the referee shoves Flair.
Here comes the Mega Powers as it’s 10PM so we’re going to stay with it, since the C in WCW stands for Commitment! Hogan and Flair slug it out and guess who wins there. Split screen time again as the heels are in control. Luckily this one doesn’t last as long as Sullivan chokes away at Hogan. More slugging out as the Mega Powers get going again.
Woman pops Hogan in the bad eye again but Hogan launches Flair off again as is his custom. He Hulks Up and here comes Anderson. Anderson saves Flair from the leg drop and Brian Pillman comes out with a chair and it’s a double DQ. In a Texas Tornado match, there was a double DQ. And people have the nerve to wonder why this company was looked down upon as being idiotic?
Rating: D. I’m getting REALLY tired of these brawls. They were fun at first but when you know what’s coming and that there’s no chance that Hogan and Savage will flat out lose they lose their luster really fast. Not a fan of these things and thankfully they’ll calm way down after this week’s show.
This led to my favorite review of all time, in the main event of Uncensored 1996. I’ll include the package to set it up as a bonus.
We recap the feud with Hogan and Savage against the Alliance. More or less what happened was simple: the Alliance challenged Hogan to a 4-1 cage match, but WCW wised up and realized Hogan carrying a match like that could expose him too much, so they threw Savage in there too.
Now, how did the Alliance put out this challenge? Was it by beating down Hogan? Was it by destroying something he held dear and valuable? Was it by making threats to his family and home? Nope to all three. They sent him a telegram. Let me repeat that. The feud and match were set by a group sending Hogan a telegram. That’s so freaking stupid I can’t even make fun of it. I truly can’t.
They sent him a telegram. I can’t get over that. Something else I notice: there hasn’t been a single mention of Randy Savage all show. It’s been nothing but Hogan. The team is known as the Alliance to End Hulkamania. In the build up from the announcers there’s no mention of Savage. What in the world is wrong with these people? Why am I trying to figure that out?
Hulk Hogan/Randy Savage vs. Alliance to End Hulkamania
The Alliance is Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, Meng, Barbarian, Lex Luger, Taskmaster (Kevin Sullivan), Z-Gangsta (Zeus from the late 80s) and Ultimate Solution (big fat strong guy that never did anything other of note in wrestling. He did play Bane in Batman and Robin though in case anyone is interested.) Now you might be wondering how this is going to work.
Well until about 3 minutes before the bell rings, so was everyone else. Literally, they didn’t know what they were going to do until the day of the show. That’s your brilliant wrestling company at work. The idea would be this. You have a ring with three cages on top of it. In other words, there’s a ring with a cage over it that’s very tall and has a top of in. The top of that cage is the floor of a second cage. That cage has six sides, all made of cage.
There’s ANOTHER of those on top. The match starts up at the top for no apparent reason. The idea is that it’s more or less a gauntlet match. There’s two guys on top, four in the middle cage and two in the bottom cage and Hogan and Savage have to win in all three cages. Yep, that’s it.
In a match that’s supposed to be all about violence and called a Doomsday match, we have a freaking gauntlet with regular pins and submissions. Let’s get to this. Michael Buffer is in the ring doing introductions for this as I have a feeling that this is going to take a LONG time.
He asks if they’re ready. He asks it again. I wonder if they’re going to break it down after the match. The cage I mean. Oh Brian Pillman is supposed to be in this but he’s left for ECW at this time where he would be for all of a day or so and then on to WWF. Flair comes out sans belt or any acknowledgment that he’s champion so you can see where the priorities are.
Oh we also have to wait for them to all climb up the steps to get to their cages too. Barbarian has been banned from wrestling in most countries in the world too. You learn something new every day. Zeus (I refuse to refer to him as Z-Gangsta more than I have to) and Ultimate Solution aren’t here yet. His original name was Final Solution. I’ll give you two guesses as to how that went.
So we’re starting with Anderson and Flair at the top so we’re starting with the Mega Powers vs. Anderson and Flair. Tell me, what’s wrong with that as a main event? I’d like that FAR better. Luger left WWF for this. That’s just sad. They finally just give up and call Hogan a superhero. Naturally the camera follows him up the stairs as my fear of heights is kicking in.
Dusty says the fans have been waiting for days in and around this building. Just go with it. Once they finally reach the top we start immediately and also immediately we see the massive problem: the fans can’t see a stupid thing. They’re about thirty feet from the ground (which of course hits as high as 65 so far according to Brain) and the lighting is awful.
Also, this is before the days of the Titantron. If they had that, this would be ok. No actually it wouldn’t be but it would have been better. The people watching the PPV from home have a hard time seeing this so imagine what it’s like for the fans there. They’re dead quiet too after the opening maybe 10 seconds because reality has set in. Oh Arn is wearing a full black body suit for no apparent reason.
Heenan says what I think might have been hidden jabs at WCW by saying “What a great thing for television!” and “Only here in WCW!” Those are either fed to him or shots at the brilliant minds who came up with this. Actually no. They’re not worthy of sarcastic praise. They’re freaking idiots. I mean seriously, WHAT ARE THEY THINKING???
If you’re going to do a cage match, fine. If you’re going to do a big cage match, fine. If you’re going to do a gauntlet cage match, that’s fine too. Actually that’s kind of an interesting concept. However, DO IT WHERE THE PEOPLE CAN SEE IT. My goodness how hard of a concept is that? What’s the most important aspect of any show? How about being able to see it?
The fans here might be able to make out someone next to one side of the cage but other than that, nothing. And don’t even bother staying if you sit across the arena and don’t have binoculars because you’re screwed. Sting and Booker won the main event already. I can’t get over how ridiculous this is. Seriously who thought this was a good idea?
Oh and there’s a referee up there too even though it’s Uncensored and therefore unsanctioned. There’s also a massive pole in the middle in case Hogan wants to shoot a Brooke Hogan video up there. They go to a wide shot to just further show how stupid this is. We can hear the wrestlers talking which is usually covered up by the crowd.
Maybe they can see as there’s a pop for Hogan ripping the shirt off. Heenan says this is better than the World Series or the Super Bowl. Yes it does Bobby, yes it does. Hey we’ve hit 70 feet in the air! Heenan redeems himself a bit with the line of all a manager can do here is hope they have a client in the morning. We get a random reference to some woman named Becky in Denver. Ok then.
Tony sums up the match perfectly: the fans wanted to know what the Doomsday Cage was so they’re finding out here. Well thanks for that Tony. In other words, we’re going to throw out a cool sounding name and say Hogan is in it against a bunch of guys that we’re only going to vaguely mention and say to find out, pay up. Once you hook them, you don’t have to do anything.
They did the same thing with the Elimination Chamber in 2002, but the difference was that match wasn’t bad. It certainly wasn’t great but I’ve seen far worse matches. Exhibit A is being reviewed at the moment. In the ultra violent match, we get double figure fours.
Heenan’s comedy is all that’s holding the pieces of this in place. Notice I didn’t say together but just in place as they would likely want to run away and join a witness protection program or something. Zeus and Solution didn’t wrestle again after this. They were the smart ones I guess.
Dusty says if you have a chain length fence (who doesn’t?) just go lay on it to see what this is like. Bobby: Then call your neighbor over and slap the figure four on him! Then put the figure eight on your Doberman! Bobby Heenan, I love you very much. You need massive amounts of therapy and medication, but I love you.
Flair drops something from one cage to the other which is never explained or mentioned again. My guess would be the will of Flair’s career since it’s dead at this point. Hogan and Savage throw powder, which is likely the remains of the cocaine they needed to agree to this.
They go through a trapdoor to get to the next cage, and Anderson and Flair are eliminated. WOW. Ok so wait. All they had to do was get through a door? They didn’t have to pin someone or get a tap out but just go through a door? Ladies and gentlemen, I’m done. I’m going to stop trying to make sense of this match and that’s all there is to it.
This just doesn’t make sense at all but for some reason they insist that it does. Bobby says Boris Karloff would love this. Not really but ok. Hogan has a chain and beats on Sullivan with it. They’re down about 12 feet now so the crowd is a bit more into it. It’s the Faces of Fear (Meng and Barbarian) on Savage and Luger and Sullivan on Hogan.
This room has a door in the middle of it so it’s like two small cages. Actually there’s a reason for it though which will come up in a minute. After being beaten on by two grown men and a steel chain, Hogan is fine and manages to get the chain away to lock the door (which didn’t have a lock before but whatever) and trap Meng and Barbarian inside.
A shot of the cage from the floor makes this look a lot better as in essence they’re fighting on top of a regular cage. That’s not bad I guess. Anderson and Flair drop to the second cage and are trapped as well. Where’s my wah wah music when I need it? Heenan says it’s a maze with no way in or out.
Yep other than the doors they came in through, the doors they leave through or the path that the referee points them through to get to the end. Speaking of doors they go out of one and fight on the stairs which is kind of scary when you think about it as there’s no wall to save them there.
Sullivan is actually over halfway out as Heenan says that he’ll be spam if he hits. I’ll infract him if he does. I don’t want any freaking spam in my reviews. Savage and Luger are still in the cage by the way. According to Brain everyone is on their feet. They have to be to see this I suppose. They’re more or less quiet by the way.
Luger gets loose and we’re out on the floor. Yep, they got out of the cage and while the rules stated earlier in the match said that Hogan and Savage just needed to get down to win, they apparently are going to keep going. Hey, we’re having a Doomsday Cage Match, so let’s fight in the ring!
Yep, they’re fighting in the ring. Luger and Savage are fighting by the cage with Hogan and Sullivan in the ring. The four guys in the upper cage break out and head down the cage. Now this could be cool: Hogan and Savage 6-2 in the arena. Well ok I can go with that as at least its easier to see.
It’s more or less the same thing as the previous match but…that’s….why are the other four just leaving? They just walked back to the dressing room. Anderson and Flair are supposed to, but the Faces of Fear are still in this legally, but who cares about that? That would MAKE SENSE!
Hogan is beating on Luger in the ring while Savage is having boards thrown at him.
Apparently the Faces of Fear have been eliminated. Oh ok I think I’ve got it now: the rules are as follows. Hogan and Savage had to go to the top of the cage where they had to either pin or get a submission from Flair and Anderson but they were allowed to have an alternate way of winning because Hogan made a large donation to the Save the Wombat Foundation.
Next up they had to get pins or submissions on some combination of the Faces of Fear, Sullivan or Luger, but they were able to lock the Faces of Fear into a cage and therefore receive a Federal credit for preventing an international assault and battery charge since both men are international ambassadors sent by the King of Tonga to study wrestling (that’s actually not made up if you can believe that. That’s legit true).
Now at the beginning the rules stated that they simply had to get to the floor to win, however there was a clause stating that if there was a high percentage (17 or greater) of time spent on discussing the social habits of Bulgarian monks in the 15th century by the four in the second cage during the battle in the first cage, then simply getting to the floor wouldn’t be classified as a win.
In that case a pin in the other ring would work. However, that won’t work either because Lex Luger’s lawyers feel that the population of fire ants in this match were misrepresented so therefore a simple pin in the ring won’t work either, and the final two members of the Alliance to End Hulkamania, which has founded new chapters in Laos, Manhattan and the North Pole, fighting off the evils of Hulk-Chi-Min, Hulk Maritoni and Hulk-a-Claus, must be equally represented in this match, which must end via pinfall in the original ring.
HOWEVER, it will be allowed for former members of the Alliance to reenter the match under the Columbus Act which also founded Ohio in 1776, but also said that wrestlers were unlawfully evicted from the match via an international treaty can be allowed to return. ANYWAY, now that we’re back to the match, let’s continue here but I need to make sure this remains logical. It’s very important to keep that going here.
They’re all at the ring now and we have more bad chair shots. I love how the graphic under the split screen says Doomsday Cage Match despite a significant lack of cage. Here’s Ultimate Solution and Zeus. According to the clause listed above, we head back to the original cage for the showdown. Yep, it’s Hogan and Savage in a no tag tag-team match against two big strong guys. How do they come up with these things?
Sullivan is lurking around as I feel he needs to register. I’m sure there’s something in this match for him too. There must be a tournament somewhere. As if this wasn’t riveting enough, we hit a bear hug. Hey now, it’s time for the rematch of the match that didn’t happen seven years ago in another company that we’re not going to mention but imply that everyone knows anyway because that’s how we roll.
Ultimate Solution (hereafter known as porkchop for no other reason than I have the Doug song in my head) picks up Savage and has him in position for a slam, prompting Dusty to wonder what he’s going to do with him. Heenan says that he picked Savage up like a 100lb infant. Tony says there’s no winning or losing but only surviving. Yeah I’d agree.
Whose career can survive this match? Here’s Arn and Flair again as apparently their plan to eliminate Hulkamania is just to stomp them and punch them and slam them a lot. Yep, that’s the epic plan.
Tony is holding out hope despite a few seconds before saying it’s hopeless. I love that top level journalism there Tony! Keep it up and one day you might be able to get a better job like selling meat from a truck in Minneapolis! They actually argue over how many people are in there against Hogan and Savage. To get off of that we point out that this started with a telegram. Somehow that’s an improvement.
Naturally they ask if Hulkamania can survive instead of Hogan and Savage. It amazes me that he got so little respect over the years. He was nuts, but dang could he wrestle. In one of the best unintentionally funny moments I can ever remember, the powder that Hogan and Savage have spills out and within 5 seconds Brutus is there to help them. That’s just greatness.
Also they’re almost face down in it. Could this get any funnier? Now the interesting part is what Brutus does for them. He brings them weapons to even the odds, instead of actually sticking around to help fight like a friend would. Nope he brought them something to help them fight off the forces of evil.
What does he bring? Does he bring brass knuckles? Maybe a club? Perhaps a couple of chairs? Nope. He brings frying pans. Brutus Beefcake brings a pair of frying pans to help save his friends. Where in the world do I start? Let’s see: how about WHY DID HE HAVE FRYING PANS??? Was he making bacon in the back or something? Does he tend to carry cookware around with him? Did the barber shop fall through? I guess he couldn’t repair the window after Shawn broke it so he became a chef.
Somehow, that is the most logical thing I’ve said all night. There’s five minutes left so let’s get through this if we can. Luger comes back in with a glove that they imply is loaded. He sets to hit Savage but Macho ducks (that sounds like an upgrade to Duck Hunter) and Luger stops, but then starts again to hit Flair and turn face I guess. Hogan and Savage turn to leave but Savage runs back in and pins Flair while everyone else kind of stands around and lets it happen. WOW. So did they forget the whole pin thing too I suppose? Heenan is ticked off and leaves and we’re finally done.
Rating: -F. This is below an F. We’ve gone so low that we’ve went past Z (which stands for Zeus not Z-Gangsta blast it) and we’ve reached negative letters. That’s how insane this was. I mean it made no sense, the rules I laid out might as well have been the real ones because nothing stayed the same as it was in the beginning, you couldn’t see a stupid thing if you were in the audience, the match was exactly the same thing that it had always been with Hogan surviving, and the plan was just to beat them up a lot? Take note fans: never, I mean never, send a telegram in your life. You can see what it can lead to.
What a difference a year makes. Here’s another very unique match which actually worked at Uncensored 1997.
Team WCW vs. Team NWO vs. Team Piper
WCW: Giant, Lex Luger, Scott Steiner
NWO: Hall, Nash, Hogan, Savage
Piper: Piper, McMichael, Jarrett, Benoit
This is kind of like a cross between WarGames and a battle royal. You have three guys start and go five minutes. Then after two minutes we get another man from each team (Team WCW will miss an entry due to Rick going on and they weren’t smart enough to have Page fill in). It’s elimination style, which means we don’t have to deal with 11 guys in the ring at once. You can put someone out via pin, submission, knockout and over the top.
If Team WCW wins, the NWO is stripped of all titles and can’t wrestle for 3 years. If Team Piper wins, Piper gets Hogan in a cage at a time to be announced. If Team NWO wins, they more or less have carte blanche (Previously they would have gotten a title shot anywhere anytime, kind of like Money in the Bank). They change that back to the MITB thing but it would ultimately be the free reign thing.
Benoit, Hall and Giant start us off. They’re not at ringside which is kind of stupid as you would be able to jump them as they come out in theory no? Benoit jumps Hall before Giant gets there. Not that we can see that as we need to see Giant’s very slow walk to the ring instead. Giant gets in very slowly which is rather smart before taking them both down with a clothesline.
Benoit tries to chop away and it doesn’t work at all. It’s almost hard to believe that Benoit would be world champion before Hall. Basically this is Giant and two other guys in there as he keeps dominating the entire time. Elbow drop on Hall so Benoit tries to jump Giant. No real attempts to throw anyone out but since you can win by pinfall that’s ok.
Sleeper doesn’t work for Hall and Giant gets a huge chokeslam to Benoit for only two. Hall saves, I guess out of fear of fighting Giant one on one. Giant busts out the claw of all things but a corner splash misses and Giant is gone first! That leaves two guys for Team WCW. The clock runs out on the first period and it’s Jarrett, Randy Savage and Luger. That puts five guys in the ring at the moment if you’re keeping score.
It’s more or less a battle royal at this point as Luger can’t gorilla press Savage out. Jeff avoids a Razor’s Edge and here come Mongo, Nash and Scott Steiner. No real effort to put anyone out right now as everyone is really just beating on each other. Belly to belly puts Nash down as we only have Hogan and Piper left. Nash gets a big boot and clothesline to Jarrett and he’s out. Jeff that is. Mongo gets backdropped out so Team Piper has just Benoit and Piper left.
Here are Hogan and Piper so everyone is out there now. Nash gets a big boot to Steiner to knock him out so Luger is all that’s left for WCW, Piper and Benoit for Piper and all of the NWO is left. Wait where’s Hogan? What a shock he’s going to come out last isn’t he? Oh there he is with Dennis Rodman. Piper is on the floor but not out. Scratch that as he’s back now. Seven people in at the moment.
Hogan, Piper and Savage are on the floor with Hogan kind of chilling and Piper choking Savage. The Outsiders beat up Benoit and everyone is finally in there at the same time. Hogan throws Piper through the ropes and they brawl on the floor a bit. After Savage jumps them in the aisle everyone goes back to the ring. In a HORRIBLY stupid looking moment, Piper is sent into the ropes but Rodman pulls it down to put him out. This would have looked passable if Piper didn’t JUMP OVER THE ROPE BEFORE IT WAS PULLED DOWN. And people wonder why they went out of business.
They keep brawling on the floor anyway and Savage helps as it’s the Outsider Edge for Benoit. The tag champs toss him out and Team Piper is gone. Luger is the only one left for WCW and he’s against technically five guys counting Rodman. The NWO literally stands around for a minute and a half posing before Nash sets him up for a powerbomb.
Luger escapes and racks Savage, clotheslines Nash and racks Hall to eliminate all three in under thirty seconds. And never mind as when he goes to rack Hogan, Savage gets the spraypaint from Rodman and pops Luger in the face with it so Hogan can get the winning pin. The NWO won a big match. I’m shocked too.
Rating: B-. The match was actually pretty good as it didn’t really get stupid and for a big multi-man tag, this actually worked. I fail to see why Rick wasn’t out there but still, pretty good stuff. The ending was obvious but it doesn’t ever drag, the stuff they did made perfect sense the entire time and it was kind of interesting. Shockingly good main event.
We’ll settle down a bit with Nitro on February 16, 1998 in a match that could have headlined Starrcade.
Hollywood Hogan/Randy Savage vs. Sting/Lex Luger
Savage jumps Sting and Luger in the aisle to start the fight and Hogan sends Sting into the barricade. Hollywood hammers on Sting inside but Sting comes back with right hands to send Hogan out to the floor. Savage and Luger head into the ring now with Savage choking on the ropes.
They’re the official starters but when Savage goes to tag Hogan he’s out on the floor with Bischoff. Hollywood gets on the apron so Randy tags him with a forearm to the back. Three elbow drops get a near fall on Luger but Hogan’s legdrop misses. Hot tag Sting and Hogan is almost immediately in the Scorpion. Here’s the NWO as the match is thrown out.
Rating: D+. Did you really expect anything else here? There’s nothing wrong with setting up the two PPV main events in one TV match as it kills two birds with one stone without doing the same match twice. This was your usual NWO style brawl and the match itself only lasted a few minutes but it was entertaining enough to get by.
And the rematch from a month later on March 16, 1998.
Sting/Lex Luger vs. Hollywood Hogan/Randy Savage
Savage on the mic: “OOOOH YEAH!” Hogan on the mic: “OOOOH NO!” Why did no one think of that before? Sting’s music hits but we only have Luger. Buffer does the entrance but there’s no Sting. Bischoff takes the mic and says Luger is on his own because there’s no Sting. The camera pans up to show a helicopter (blowing the ring skirts and mats around) with Sting REPELING INTO THE RING!
Hogan blames Savage for this so Savage goes to leave, only to be stopped by the Disciple. Hogan jumps Randy from behind as Hogan and Sting look on from the ring. Savage is thrown inside and gets beaten up by Sting with the fans trying to recover from the entrance. A top rope splash gets two for Sting and he shouts at Savage to get up. Sting pops Hogan with a right hand and brings in Luger to work on Savage even more.
Luger suplexes Savage down for no cover and drops him again with a gorilla press. Back to the world champion for an atomic drop before Luger comes in for the running forearm. Hogan isn’t even paying attention to the ring. Savage gets up and slaps Hogan on the back but Hogan says he doesn’t think so and bails.
Randy throws Hogan back inside before getting in a fight with Disciple. Hogan chokes Luger down but Lex avoids the legdrop and tags in Sting. There are a pair of Stinger Splashes for Hollywood and a right hand for Bischoff. Savage is rolled in by the Disciple and everything breaks down, drawing in the Disciple for the DQ.
Rating: D. This wasn’t a match as much as a massive angle. Hogan and Savage already had a bad match last night and it looks like we’re gearing up for another one in the future. Luger continues to be a man with no direction at all as he’s just thrown into random matches to fight for WCW because that’s all he does. Bad match here but the entrance was awesome.
I don’t think it’s any secret that the Mega Powers were a bigger deal in their early days, especially with the stuff leading up to the explosion at Wrestlemania V. Even after that though, it still felt like a huge deal when these guys would team up. They were the biggest stars of their era and they were still a big deal in WCW when they were both past their primes. These two were joined at the hip (and unhip in WCW) and it made a lot of fans very happy over the years.
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Today we’re looking at one of the hardest hitting wrestlers in history: Stan Hansen.
Hansen got his start back in 1973 so as usual, we’re going to have to jump around a lot. We’ll start in MSG on October 25, 1976.
Stan Hansen vs. Ivan Putski
Hansen is in his usual gimmick of an insane cowboy. Gorilla Monsoon is guest referee for reasons that aren’t explained. Putski goes right after Stan to start and hammers away at the much bigger man (Putski was very short) in the corner. The cowboy is in early trouble and Ivan takes him down for even more punches. Stan finally comes back with an elbow to the jaw and some knees to the back for two. Ivan grabs a headlock for a LONG time, as in for the better part of two minutes. They do throw in a backdrop to keep things from getting too boring. Stan fights up and crotches Putski on the top….for a DQ. Eh it’s a different time.
Rating: D. Again, I know it’s a different time, but a match with almost nothing but punches and a long headlock can’t be considered interesting in any generation. I liked Putski going off on Hansen to start but the headlock was too much for me to take. The DQ works well though as Hansen knew he was in trouble and cheated to get out of it like a good heel should.
Hansen is one of the most famous gaijin (foreigner) in Japanese wrestling history. Here he is against one of the other most famous ones at an All Japan show in 1982.
Terry Funk vs. Stan Hansen
It’s a brawl to start as you would expect with Hansen hammering away, only to have Funk come back with those big left hands of his. They’re on the floor less than a minute in but Stan gets inside while Terry sits on the concrete. Back in and Hansen slams Funk, sending him right back to the floor. Some knees and kicks to the back of Funk’s head have him in even more trouble and he goes outside again. This time Stan follows him and hammers away before Funk scores with some elbows to the head back inside.
They grapple on the mat a bit and the fans are into it, though I have no idea who they’re cheering for. Terry chops away from the mat before nailing a belly to back suplex. Funk pounds Hansen in the head but Stan seems to like it and comes back with right hands of his own. We hit a chinlock from Hansen followed by a suplex for two.
Funk is thrown to the floor where he gets a chair, only to draw Stan outside to make it a real brawl. They head back inside and Funk is ticked off. He sends Hansen into the referee and a second referee takes a lariat from Stan. Someone who looks like Ron Bass runs in to hold Funk for the lariat as the match is thrown out.
Rating: C+. Not a bad brawl here and the feud would continue until Funk’s first retirement match the next year when he brought in his brother to help him fight. This was WAY different than what you were going to get around this time as hardcore and violence was a very rare thing to see. Fun but not great stuff.
Off to the WWC at some point in 1984 with Hansen teaming with his most famous partner against a surprising combination.
Abdullah the Butcher/Carlos Colon vs. Bruiser Brody/Stan Hansen
This is a lumberjack match. Apparently Colon knew he was in big trouble against these guys so he got his archrival to help him out. They double team Brody to start but Hansen comes in with a cheap shot to take over. Butcher gets stomped down by the monsters but drives Hansen into the corner for a headbutt from Colon for two. Stan hammers away on him as well and Carlos is busted open. The monsters start double teaming again but Colon crawls over to make the hot tag to Butcher. Everything breaks down but the lumberjacks come in for the quick no contest.
Rating: D+. This felt like a way to set up something for later but that doesn’t mean this was anything special. From what I can tell this is at the anniversary show, which means you would think it’s more definitive than just having a brawl with the lumberjacks to end things. Nothing to see here but Brody and Hansen looked terrifying.
Some of Hansen’s biggest success came in the AWA and we’ll start at SuperClash 1985.
AWA World Title: Rick Martel vs. Stan Hansen
Martel is defending. This is the next to last match thank goodness. Hansen jumps him to start and they go to the floor as the bell rings. Back in and it’s all Hansen. If I understood right this has a 25 minute time limit. The midgets got 45. Martel sunset flips him for two. Hansen takes him to the mat and chokes away before it’s a big brawl. They go to the floor and Hansen hits him with some chairs and it’s a DQ in about two and a half minutes. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? We’ve had eleven other matches and the WORLD TITLE MATCH gets two and a half minutes? You couldn’t cut one of the six men matches down? I’m done.
Hansen would win the title from Martel soon after this and defended it at WrestleRock 1986.
AWA World Title: Stan Hansen vs. Nick Bockwinkel
Hansen is the champion and evil here. He runs over Nelson for no apparent reason. Hansen normally works for Baba in Japan but is here as champion to give the AWA a boost. They immediately go to the floor with Hansen pounding away. Nelson immediately turns into a super Bockwinkel fan as Nick makes a brief comeback. Hansen kicks him in the face and hooks a chinlock. This is looking wild so far.
Elbow drop gets two for the champion. Bockwinkel takes over on the arm and now Stan is in trouble. Nick tries to fight back with some right hands but they get him nowhere. A sunset flip gets two as the cameraman drops the camera. Off to an armbar as Trongard tells us how great the AWA is. I haven’t mentioned it that often but he says it more often than Cole plugs Twitter. They slug it out, naturally won by Stan, and it’s time for another chinlock.
Trongard spends the entire hold on a speech about how second best isn’t acceptable in the AWA and how they have the best. YOU JUST SAID THAT TEN SECONDS AGO!!! Nick tries to come back and grabs a sleeper, one of his finishers. Hansen gets to a rope though and they fall to the floor. They slug it out a bit out there but then go back inside to punch each other (HARD) some more.
Hansen outsmarts Nick (hard to do) by suckering him into a stun gun for two. Nick blocks a suplex into one of his own for two. It gets two so Nelson says almost only counts in drive-in movies. I think I get what he means there and I don’t think I want to know if I’m right. The referee gets bumped so Bockwinkel’s slam only gets no cover. Crossbody gets the same. Piledriver gets two…and then Hansen backdrops him over the top for the LAME DQ.
Rating: B-. Why am I not surprised? This match was starting to get good and then never mind, because we need to have a screwy finish. As usual, the idea here is simple: give them something to fight over in the form of the title and have two talented guys in there and you’ll get a good match. Bockwinkel would get the title later on when Hansen said screw this nonsense and went to Japan full time.
Here’s a TV match from some point in June 1986.
AWA Title: Stan Hansen vs. Jerry Blackwell
This is from about a month prior and it’s the night before Hansen forfeited the title and it was handed to Bockwinkle. Why are they showing this? I don’t know. They point out everything I just told you, but whatever. This is from Oakland in case you’re wondering. I guess this is from an old TV taping or something? Blackwell weighs about 500 pounds so Hansen is in by far better shape…somehow.
Hansen doesn’t have his vest off yet. Blackwell has a bad ankle apparently. Hansen is busted open. Yeah this is from June 28, but they’re airing it on July 22. Sure, why not? Hansen can’t slam him of course. Blackwell is your standard big fat man that can’t really do much of anything due to his excessive fatness. Hansen is in a bearhug and he’s totally no selling it for the most part.
The referee goes down as Blackwell hits the splash. A boot to the back of the head of Blackwell and he’s down. Another boot shot and he’s getting up. Yeah the more you hit him the more he gets up. Why does this make no sense? Blackwell is bleeding as we’re at about 15 shots with the boot. The new referee comes in and does the incredibly stupid thing and tackles Hansen. After getting his head kicked in, Blackwell gets up after about 20 boot shots and beats up Hansen. What a mess at the end.
Rating: D+. This was a brawl and not a very interesting one. For whatever reason Blackwell was WAY over and that’s about it here. The ending was a mess as this flt like something from a house show or something like that. Nothing good at all here but it was an ok brawl I suppose.
Back to Japan for the AJPW/WWF Wrestling Summit on April 13, 1990 with Hansen in the main event.
Stan Hansen vs. Hulk Hogan
Like I said this was supposed to be Gordy, but that didn’t happen. HOLY CRAP Hansen is freaking nuts! He runs the announcer over, literally. It’s saying a lot when a guy is named after his finishing move. Hogan gets an epic pop for the song called Real American from a Tokyo audience. That’s impressive in its own right.
Anyone that says he’s not the biggest international star ever is freaking NUTS. Austin had a hotter period, but no one has Hogan’s longevity at that spot. Granted his refusal to leave said spot killed WCW, but whatever. Crowd is NUTS for this. This is easily the most into a match they’ve been all night. It’s very rare when Hogan might be the more technically sound of the two.
This is where the Cena knows five moves argument falls apart as Hogan is wrestling a very technical style, hitting his second drop toehold in two minutes, adding in a three quarter nelson. This turns into a brawl, which makes sense as it’s what both men do best. Hogan is dominating, which is very odd indeed. He throws in what would today be called an Angle Slam for good measure. Hansen has done almost nothing at all here.
They hit the crowd for a bit and Hansen is slammed onto a table. Note that it was onto a table and not through it. We’ve been going about 6 minutes here and it has been ALL Hogan. Hansen is busted. He gets a boot in the corner to a MASSIVE pop. Out in the crowd again he gets a chair to Hogan’s head and the big bald man is bleeding. The announcers are having another orgasm as their balls must be aching from having so many here.
Hansen is dominating now and he gets a few shots with the bull rope to Hogan. He calls for the Lariat to a huge pop but Hogan hits a forearm to block. Leg drop misses and Hansen gets two off of that. HOGAN THROWS A FREAKING CROSS BODY! AND IT WAS DECENT!!! After a big boot for a block, Hogan hits a big clothesline for the pin. That came from out of nowhere.
Rating: B-. It was shorter than I would have liked, but to have Hogan dominate the majority of the match and then hit something other than the leg drop for the pin. It was a very nice change of pace. Hogan’s offense wasn’t nearly as great as it’s made out to be, but it’s certainly different and a nice break from what we’re used to. For a main event it was fine, but a few more minutes would have helped it a lot.
It was back to America later in the year with Hansen appearing in WCW at Clash of the Champions XII.
Z-Man vs. Stan Hansen
Stan pulls him to the floor and rams Z-Man into everything he can find. Back inside and some elbow drops have Z-Man in trouble as Ross talks about Hansen’s football career. As the destruction continues, we get an inset interview from Lex Luger who can’t wait for Stan Hansen to come for a shot. Hansen easily stops Z-Man’s comeback attempt and destroys him with the Lariat (hard clothesline) for the pin.
Rating: C. Again, this was more entertaining than good and there’s nothing wrong with that. Stan was an absolute monster and one of the scariest men ever in wrestling due to how insane he was. He would be a bigger deal in Japan and his most successful days in America were behind him, but he was having a very nice run right here and as you would expect, he feuded with Luger over the US Title soon after this.
Off to Halloween Havoc 1990 for a US Title shot.
US Title: Stan Hansen vs. Lex Luger
Luger has held the title for an insane seventeen months coming into this, a record which is about six months longer than anyone else ever. Luger goes nuts on Hansen to start and elbows him to the floor. Back in and Hansen takes it right back to the floor, sending Luger into the post. They head back in (again) and Lex slams him down but gets taken down with a headlock takeover. A charge misses Luger in the corner and Hansen lands on the floor.
Luger rams Hansen into the ramp a few times and heads back in to drop some knees. A snap suplex puts Stan back in control and an elbow drop gets two. Hansen hits a headbutt and bulldog for two. He goes up for some reason but misses an elbow. Luger comes back with a dropkick and pounds away on the challenger.
Elbow drop gets two as does a suplex. Hansen comes back but shoves a referee which doesn’t draw a DQ for some reason. The Lariat misses but Luger hits a clothesline of his own. Here’s Dan Spivey, Hansen’s protege, to throw in the cowbell. Luger avoids that and bulldogs him down. He calls for the Rack but walks into the Lariat for the pin and the title.
Rating: C-. The match was a lot of punching and kicking, but to their credit they had Hansen win the title almost completely clean here. The weapon shot didn’t hit, Spivey didn’t touch Luger, the referee didn’t see anything at all and it was the Lariat that got the pin. Hansen would lose the title at Starrcade but this was a good surprise. The match was pretty dull though.
And a rematch at Starrcade 1990.
US Title: Lex Luger vs. Stan Hansen
Hansen is a crazy Texan who took the title from Luger in October in a big upset, ending Luger year and a half reign. This is a Texas lariat match, meaning you’re attached to your opponent by the wrist and you have to touch all four buckles. Hansen jumps Luger to start and hiptosses him down but Luger comes back with right hands of his own. Stan is fine with that and beats on Luger with the rope before choking away in the corner. Lex fires off more right hands and we head to the floor for choking with the rope.
Stan gets in a chair to Luger’s back before they head back inside to slug it out even more. This is much more of a fight than a match. A clothesline puts Hansen down and Luger goes for a cover out of instinct. Instead Luger goes to two straight corners but gets suplexed down before he can get to a third. Hansen wraps the rope around Luger’s neck and drags him around to touch some buckles before Lex breaks the momentum, ending the streak.
Tired of wrestling, Hansen throws the rope around Luger’s neck and tosses him over the top rope to hang him. Well when nothing else works, go for the murder I guess. Back in and Hansen drops an elbow before touching three buckles, only to have Luger pop up with a clothesline. Stan chokes away but they go back outside with Hansen being clotheslined down and sent into the post.
Back in and Luger starts dragging Hansen around but Stan holds back after the third buckle. Lex finally pulls away and gets the fourth buckle but the referee goes down at the same time. Another referee comes out as Hansen starts touching buckles with Luger tied around the throat again. Hansen gets a third buckle as the original referee is waking up. Stan knocks Luger out and touches the fourth buckle to retain the title.
Rating: D+. As usual, these matches become the same thing over and over again: one guy gets close and then momentum is stopped, meaning we have to keep going. Hansen being completely insane helped the match a lot and Luger was still insanely popular, so the crowd was into it. That didn’t stop the match from being rather dull though.
One more WCW match at WrestleWar 1991.
Stan Hansen vs. Big Van Vader
This is a rematch of a match from Tokyo that was thrown out. They immediately start on the ramp and it’s a big brawl. Vader takes him down but Hansen hits a short range lariat. Back into the ring and Vader hits one of his own to take over. Vader hits a corner splash and it’s off to a quick chinlock. Out to the floor and Vader takes him down again with more punches.
In the ring Vader misses a splash in the corner, allowing Hansen to hit a belly to back suplex for two. They go back to the floor and let the weapons loose! Each guy takes a chair shot to the head and Hansen takes over back inside. That lasts about 4 seconds so we head back outside with Vader draping him over the barricade. Hansen drives a knee into Vader and they head back inside for more brawling. Randy Anderson tries to separate them and gets launched to the floor for the double DQ, getting booed out of the building in the process.
Rating: C+. This was nothing like a wrestling match but with stuff like this, having it be a total war with both guys beating the tar out of each other is the right move. The match was fun because Hansen was big enough and psycho enough to hang with Vader in a fight, which is what this was. Good stuff.
We’ll wrap it up with Hansen appearing at ECW Ultra Clash 1993.
Abdullah the Butcher/Kevin Sullivan vs. Terry Funk/Stan Hansen
This is more or less anything goes. Terry goes up the scaffold. It’s a Bunkhouse Match, which was Dusty’s idea of anything goes. No story here it appears but rather just four crazy guys that can fight. Chairs are brought in and it’s Sullivan vs. Funk and the other two fight also. Ok never mind no they don’t. Abdullah throws photographers out of the way to get to Funk. Joey is LOVING this.
They trade off we actually get to the ring. Sullivan and Funk go up the scaffold as I realize how weird it is to see Hansen in America. It’s just not something you see that often. Funk is busted open. Naturally there’s no flow or anything like that and it’s just a wild brawl. Funk gets a chair and blasts everyone with it. Abdullah can barely move but that’s typical for him and not meant as a knock to him.
I’m pretty sure everyone is bleeding now and Sullivan blasts Funk in the head with a hammer. Ok that was insane. That’s beyond FREAKING OW MAN. Abdullah accidently hits Sullivan and Funk goes for a Figure Four on him of all things. Someone with a chair comes in and we actually get a DQ. It’s Eddie Gilbert. Dang I thought he was gone. Funk and Hansen win.
Rating: B+. Totally wild brawl but the DQ ending killed it. This was exactly what it was supposed to be: totally violent with no semblance of order or anything like it. This is the life’s blood of ECW and something tells me this is a Heyman thing. The bunch of run ins after the match ended are practically a trademark of his.
Hansen would stick around Japan for several more years but….I really don’t want to sit through a bunch of thirty minute matches when I think you get the idea. Hansen is a guy that could scare anyone with pure intensity and his popularity in Japan made him one of the biggest stars in the world. He had success in America as well and is still one of the best cowboys of all time. Check him out if you want to see one of the toughest wrestlers of all time.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Survivor Series Count-Up – 1993 (2014 Redo): Let Freedom Ring
Survivor Series 1993 Date: November 24, 1993
Location: Boston Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 15,509
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan
This is a show that I remember watching a lot as a kid but I think my tape ran out about halfway through it. Stupid VHS. Anyway, the main event tonight is a battle for AMERICA with a bunch of foreigners (like from that far off nation of Hawaii) against a bunch of Americans. Other than that we have Bret’s team vs. Shawn’s team. No really. We’re mostly back to the team vs. team formula this year. Let’s get to it.
I remember watching this when I was a kid and I always liked the theme of going through the skeleton of a building. It looks cool.
Vince and Bobby talk a little bit about the concept and we’re ready to go.
Team IRS vs. Team Razor Ramon
IRS, Adam Bomb, Diesel, Rick Martel
Razor Ramon, 1-2-3 Kid, Marty Jannetty, Mr. Perfect
IRS and Ramon are feuding over Razor’s IC Title, Martel was the guy Ramon beat for the title, Diesel and Adam Bomb are just there to fill in spots, Jannetty and Kid are a semi-regular tag team and Perfect….isn’t here. Ramon talks about Perfect leaving (his back messed up again and he just kind of left for five months) but he’s got a treat for us. He’s got a surprise partner and it’s……RANDY SAVAGE! Heenan LOSES IT and the crowd does too. This is when Savage wanted to murder Crush, who is in the main event tonight.
Heenan apparently called Perfect no showing this and Vince says Heenan was right for once. Bobby: “FOR ONCE???” Oh yes Bobby is feeling it tonight. Ramon and Martel start things off with Rick working on the arm. They fight for the arm and hit the mat for a bit before popping back up. Razor slaps him in the face and rolls through a cross body for two. Martel gets caught in the fallaway slam (BIG pop for that) for two.
Razor hits a pair of atomic drops and a clothesline for two. Off to Adam Bomb who shoves Ramon into the corner with ease. They collide and Razor is knocked down in something which shouldn’t surprise anyone. They have a test of strength with Bomb controlling again before Ramon fights up and suplexes Bomb down.
Martel tries to save but elbows Bomb by mistake. Harvey Whippleman (Bomb’s manager) gets up on the apron and is knocked down, causing a big fight between IRS’ team. Ramon’s team, somehow thinking coherently given how many drugs must be in them, actually uses common sense and lets them fight. We get things settled down and it’s the Kid vs. Bomb. Kid tries a sunset flip and Bomb (about 6’8 and 300lbs) is like boy please.
Off to Diesel who throws Kid around even harder. Who thought it was a good idea to put the Kid in there against the biggest and strongest opponents? A gutwrench powerbomb from Diesel leaves Kid laying and a big boot does the same. Kid finally hits a spin kick and it’s off to Savage who destroys the entire team, including sending Bomb into Diesel. A slam puts Diesel down and the flying elbow makes it 4-3. Write that down as you may never see Nash do another clean job.
Martel charges in and rams Savage face first into the buckle. Since it’s 1993, Martel’s offense has almost no effect and Savage takes over. Off to IRS who has a bit better luck as he takes Savage into the corner but gets cross bodied for two. Back to Ramon who works on the arm but as he hits the ropes, Martel hits Razor in the back to slow the Bad Guy (Razor’s nickname) down.
Bomb comes back in to power Razor around a bit but it’s quickly back to Martel. Make that IRS who works on Razor’s back. We hit the chinlock and the heels switch a few times without tagging. Off to Macho Man again who knees IRS into the corner. A slam looks to set up the Elbow but here comes Crush. Savage sees him and immediately goes after him but is sent back into the ring and rolled up by IRS for the pin and elimination.
Savage chases Crush into the back and looks for him in the locker rooms as the match is still going on. Savage doesn’t find him so we’ll continue this game later. We come back to the ring to see Adam Bomb choking away on Jannetty and stomping him in the corner. Martel hooks an abdominal stretch for a few seconds but a corner charge hits the post and it’s back to Ramon.
Razor pounds away on IRS and hits a chokeslam followed by the Razor’s Edge for the pin and the 3-2 advantage. Everything breaks down and as Razor loads up the Edge on Martel, IRS hits him in the ribs with his briefcase. Ramon rolls to the floor and gets counted out to tie things up again. So it’s Jannetty/1-2-3 Kid vs. Martel/Bomb. The Kid gets sent to the floor and slammed down by Bomb who hits a slingshot clothesline to take the Kid down back inside.
Off to Martel as the Kid is in a lot of trouble. Martel drops some knees on the back for two as Vince says the Kid has a lot of heart. Heenan: “THEN KICK HIM IN THE HEART!” Martel jumps into a right hand to the ribs and there’s the tag to Jannetty who cleans house. Back to the Kid way too soon for a double back elbow and a sunset flip to eliminate Martel. Kid immediately tags in Jannetty who sunset flips Bomb for the pin ten seconds after Martel was eliminated. REALLY hot ending here.
Rating: B. I really liked this match as it was fast paced and a ton of fun. If you cut about five minutes from this, it’s a classic. Having Jannetty and the Kid be the survivors was a very nice surprise and it gave the fans something to cheer for. Really liked this one and it puts the show off on the right foot.
Shawn is in the back with the IC Title. There are two of them at this point as Shawn was suspended while champion but he kept the belt. That gives us two belts which is a problem. Maybe we should put them above the ring and make the guys climb a ladder to get them while having one of the best matches ever. Anyway tonight it’s Shawn and his Knights (that’ll make sense later) vs. the Hart Family.
We go to a Hart Family interview earlier with Family Feud (game show) host Ray Combs. They all say that Shawn is in trouble for going after Stu recently and it’s going to be a massive Hart Attack. Back to Shawn who says he’s not ready for the Harts and he makes fun of all five of them, including Stu. Shawn is really clicking as the insanely arrogant heel by this point.
Jannetty and Kid celebrate with Ramon. Savage is off chasing Crush.
Ray Combs talks about the Hart Family being at ringside. Pay attention because it’s amazing enough to have them all in the same place without suing or trying to kill each other. Helen is there too. Combs gets in some jokes about Shawn which aren’t really funny but this is filler stuff anyway. Vince of course laughs like there’s no tomorrow. While Combs bombs out there, here’s the idea of this feud.
Bret and Jerry Lawler had been feuding for months and it was building up to this show with Bret’s family coming to help him against the King and his Knights. Then some chick said Lawler raped her and Lawler had to be pulled from this show (the girl later admitted she made it up and Lawler wasn’t in trouble), so Shawn, the guy Bret had feuded with last year, was brought in as a replacement. It was likely the best option they had but it was completely out of place after the months of build they had set up.
Hart Family vs. Shawn Michaels/Knights
Bret Hart, Keith Hart, Bruce Hart, Owen Hart
Shawn Michaels, Blue Knight, Black Knight, Red Knight
The Blue Knight is Greg Valentine, the Red Knight is Barry Horowitz and the Black Knight is Jeff Gaylord (indy guy who never meant anything on a national stage). Stu Hart is here with his sons as if there was somehow any doubt as to who was getting destroyed here. Ray Combs sits in on commentary and while he’s not incredibly funny, he sounds like he’s having a blast out there and is enjoying himself which is all I ask for from a celebrity. Heenan vs. Combs on commentary is a good back and forth jab fest if nothing else.
Shawn and Owen start but Shawn wants Keith, who along with Bruce haven’t wrestled in years. Keith speeds things up and Shawn gets sent into the interfering Red Knight. Shawn tries to throw Keith into the corner but Keith takes out Red and Blue. An armdrag takes Shawn down and it’s off to Keith for an armbar. Shawn’s suplex attempt is countered into a small package and it’s back to the armbar.
Michaels slams Keith down and it’s off to the Red Knight vs. Owen. Owen fires off some shots to the arm and it’s off to the Black Knight. That goes nowhere at all so it’s off to Blue vs. Bret. Bret hits some atomic drops and a clothesline for two. Back to Keith who continues the armbar marathon and it’s Bruce time again. Back to Shawn with a backbreaker and some elbows to the back.
Red comes in and suplexes Bruce down for two. Back to Black (who is not Kane as has been mentioned before) who is the biggest of the Knights and gets rolled up for two. It’s back to Shawn who gets rammed into the corner before the Red Knight pokes Bruce in the head. Bruce hits a clothesline and it’s off to Bret vs. Black. An O’Connor Roll and small package both get two for Bret and he takes over. The backbreaker and middle rope elbow get two and it’s off to Owen.
A spinwheel kick puts Black down and everything breaks down. Shawn and all three Knights get sent into each other in the middle of the ring and a missile dropkick from Owen pins Black. Off to the Red Knight and Owen works over the leg. Back to Bret and they make a wish on Red’s legs. Keith comes in again and the leg work continues. I’ve been watching this show for years and for the life of me I can’t stop confusing Bruce and Keith.
Red tries a knee lift and hurts his own knee in the process. Some fans chant boring and they’re right in doing so. Back to Bruce who pops Red in the face. The Hitman comes in and we get another wishbone split. Red sends Keith into the buckle to escape a figure four attempt but misses a knee drop instead of tagging. Keith puts on a Figure Four but Shawn makes the save and it’s off to Blue.
Those boring chants are getting a little bit louder. Blue works over Keith’s arm and it’s off to Shawn with a top rope double ax to the arm. The shoulder gets sent into the buckle and Shawn cranks on the bad arm. Back to Red whose leg seems fine now. Rey cranks on the arm around the post which results in more double teaming. Heenan has been ripping the Harts apart the entire match, including a nice jab here: “None of them look alike.” Keep in mind this is as Keith is having his arm destroyed.
Blue stays on the arm including a legdrop on it and a hammerlock slam. Off to Shawn who misses a Rocket Launcher. Off to Bret, prompting Shawn to tag out to Red. Red immediately gets caught in a spinebuster and the Sharpshooter to make it 4-2. Blue comes in to clothesline Bret and both he and Keith are now hurt. Bret is thrown back in and suplexed down for two.
Blue drops a very Greg Valentine elbow and Heenan says he knows who the Blue Knight is. Vince: “Who is that?” Bobby: “The guy in the ring that just dropped an elbow on Bret Hart.” I love you Bobby Heenan. Back to Shawn for a chinlock to kill even more time. I’m not sure how much there is of it left as this has been going long already. Blue comes in for another two off another elbow as Bobby lays into Helen Hart.
Bret hits a middle rope clothesline and he makes the tag to Owen. The crowd just does not care here and the lack of any reaction is kind of sad. A middle rope elbow gets two on Blue and Bruce and Shawn come in at the same time. Shawn goes to the floor and goes after Stu, only to get BLASTED IN THE FACE. Bobby: “I’ve always liked Stu.” A missile dropkick puts Blue down but Shawn’s saving elbow hits Blue as well. Shawn is sent to the floor and the Sharpshooter eliminates Blue.
It’s 4-1 and Shawn is drinking water. All four of the Harts hammer on Shawn and it’s Bruce who gets two off an elbow drop. Bruce charges into a boot and Shawn chokes away a bit. The superkick puts Bruce down but that’s still not a finisher and only gets two. Bruce gets in a boot and makes the tag to Bret to a small reaction. Bret hits a slingshot to the buckle for two. Shawn gets in a kick and it’s off to Owen.
Now here’s where it gets interesting: Bret is trying to get it together on the apron and Owen is rammed into Bret, knocking him off the apron and into the barricade. Owen is distracted and pinned. All of the brothers and Stu go to check on Bret and Owen FREAKS, storming to the back and shouting WHAT ABOUT ME! This would start the feud of the year in 1994.
Bruce comes in and drops an elbow on Shawn for two. Bret is still getting up after the crash he took into the barricade. Bruce and Shawn hit head to head twice in a row to really stretch this thing out. Keith comes in with an abdominal stretch (including the toe around the ankle) but Shawn hip tosses out of it with ease. Back to Bret who pounds away and Shawn gets crotched on the top rope. Bret picks the leg but Shawn escapes the Sharpshooter and walks out for the countout.
Rating: D. This was…….long. At the end of the day it ran 30 minutes when it should have been about 15. The only thing that mattered here was Owen and the future angle vs. Bret. Shawn being in there didn’t help much, but it needed to be Jerry Lawler and without him this didn’t mean anything of note. Not a good match and the length hurt it a lot. They were against things they couldn’t really help here and that’s what brought it down a lot.
Owen comes back and gets in Bret’s face during the celebration. Stu tries to calm Owen down but Owen rants about getting no recognition and celebrates in the ring on his own. Helen loses it as well.
Gorilla and JR are going to do commentary on the next match as Heenan and Vince are going to do Radio WWF, which didn’t last long. During the change over, Gorilla threatens to kill Heenan which was his trademark at this point.
We recap the Foreign Fanatics vs. the All Americans. Ludvig Borga hit Tatanka with a chair and pinned him with one finger, breaking his two year undefeated streak. Tatanka got beaten up by Yokozuna. This led to the Steiners and Luger picking a new partner in the Undertaker. This led to an awesome moment with Taker opening his coat and having an American Flag inside of it (with 13 stars for some reason). Luger then beat up Quebecer Pierre for no apparent reason. The Fanatics added the EVIL FOREIGN Hawaiian Crush. This must be the intermission.
Here’s Jim Cornette to introduce his team for a very out there match.
Smokey Mountain Wrestling Tag Titles: Heavenly Bodies vs. Rock N Roll Express
This is part of an agreement the companies had at the time which didn’t quite work that well. The Express (Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson) are the champions and they’re defending against the Bodies (Tom Prichard and Jimmy Del Ray). It’s a brawl to start with the Express being sent to the floor. Gibson is pulled back in but Morton pulls both of the Bodies out to the floor. Ricky follows that up with a suicide dive to take both of them out at the same time.
Things slow down and we start with Gibson vs. Del Ray. Things are going to go very fast in this match and that’s exactly how it starts with Gibson flipping out of the corner and hitting a headscissor takeover before bringing in Morton. Prichard comes in and gets booed louder than all of the Knights in the previous match combined. Morton can’t quite get above Prichard on a leapfrog and he ducks a Del Ray superkick which takes Prichard down instead.
Both Bodies get monkey flipped out of the corner and we get the always dumb looking rowboat spot, which is where all four of the heels’ legs are rotated around by the good guys. Gibson works on Prichard’s leg and the Express take out Del Ray in the corner before Morton works on Prichard’s leg as well. Tom finally gets in a shot and it’s off to Del Ray who is immediately armdragged down.
In a nice move, Gibson blocks the buckle before Morton’s back hits it to prevent the Bodies from getting the advantage. It’s all Express other than the first fifteen seconds or so. The Bodies have a quick huddle on the floor and the fans are bored. It’s Prichard vs. Morton now with the heels taking over for the first time since the beginning. Off to Del Ray who is suplexed down onto Morton for two.
Back to Prichard for some more choking. There wasn’t a tag but that’s why the Bodies are heels. Del Ray hits an Asai Moonsault to the floor and it’s back to Prichard in the ring who hits a powerslam for two. Off to a chinlock as this match is turning into an old school tag match of the NWA style. A Trash Compactor (a kind of spinebuster/guillotine legdrop combo) gets two but Del Ray’s powerbomb is countered into a rana for two.
Ricky hooks a small package for another two and Del Ray hits a moonsault press on Morton for ANOTHER two. This is why it’s called Playing Ricky Morton people. The guy was a master at it. A double DDT puts the Bodies down and Morton rolls over to make the tag to Gibson.
Now we get to the point of the match: Prichard throws Morton over the top, which is a DQ in SMW, but this is in the WWF. Gibson gets confused and decked for his confusion as Morton gets beaten down even more. There’s the double dropkick to Prichard but it only gets two. Del Ray comes off the top with a tennis racket (Cornette signature) shot to Gibson for the pin and the title.
Rating: B-. This was a strange match as from a technical standpoint it was quite good and in SMW it would have been the main event of a big show, but we’re not in SMW. We’re in the WWF here and these people don’t mean anything. There’s a deep history here of a ton of matches with various gimmicks to them, making this a huge feud. The problem is all we’re told is they’ve been feuding for years. It’s the same issue you have with Japanese wrestlers: just being told how great they are doesn’t mean anything to most fans. We need to see these things, not be told about them.
Team Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Four Doinks
Bam Bam Bigelow, Bastion Booger, Headshrinkers
Bushwhackers, Men on a Mission
Ok. I can get through this. Four years ago I stopped watching this midway through but I’m going to get through it this time. The Doinks are all dressed like a clown and their identities were secret until they were unveiled here. Luke comes out on a scooter, Butch has a wagon, the Men on a Mission come out on foot. Mabel needs the exercise so that’s a good idea. Notice that there’s no actual Doink in the match and the fans aren’t going to be pleased here.
A LOUD We Want Doink chant starts up and Bastion and Luke start things off. Booger is a VERY fat guy in a too small singlet in case you’re not familiar with him. Luke bites him on the ample singlet before stomping on Bastion’s foot. Afa bites Butch’s balloon and it’s off to Samu. Then he bites a water balloon and gets rolled up by Luke for the pin. Fatu (Rikishi) comes in and Luke hurts his own head off a headbutt attempt.
Booger comes in and drops a leg on Luke and it’s off to Bigelow with a headbutt to the ribs. Booger comes back in and sits on Luke before stopping for a banana. Another drop by Bastion misses and the Battering Ram puts him down. Mabel drops a leg on Bastion and it’s 4-2. Fatu comes in to offer meat to Luke and takes over, but here’s Mo on a scooter for a ride around the ring. Bigelow comes in and destroys the scooter and Fatu hits the top rope splash….and stops for a banana.
Butch comes in with a bucket of something….scratch that as there’s nothing in it, but Fatu slips on a banana peel as he jumps from it and Butch rolls him up for the pin. Bigelow is all that’s left and he gets to fight Mabel. Bam Bam can’t do anything to the power of fat but Mabel misses a splash. The other Doinks come in and get beaten up also but Butch throws something on Luna. Mabel splashes Bigelow and a dog pile (which is allowed) gets the pin.
Rating: Awe. I am in awe. We had falls from a water balloon, a banana peel and a bucket of something being thrown on Luna. There’s nothing else I can say about that and I’m not going to try.
As Bigelow is leaving, Doink (whose actor has recently changed) pops up on screen to laugh at Bam Bam. The next step in this feud: a midget named Dink of course.
The Doinks, including the real Doink, celebrate in the back. Why the REAL Doink couldn’t be in the arena isn’t answered.
The Foreign Fanatics are in the back and Cornette talks about their battle plan. He talks about how they look at the All Americans as one man. You can take a man out by taking out his heart, his mind and his soul. The Steiners are the heart, but if you take it out, he has no will to fight. The Undertaker is the mind, but if you take it out, the man is confused. Luger is the soul, but if you take it out, you’ve defeated him completely. I’ve always liked that.
Before the match, we get a history lesson about Boston. No seriously, this happens. Thankfully it turns into some promos from the All Americans.
Foreign Fanatics vs. All Americans
Yokozuna, Crush, Ludvig Borga, Jacques
Lex Luger, Undertaker, Steiner Brothers
The Quebecers are the tag champions and have Johnny Raven Polo as their manager. Yoko is world champion. Jacques and Scott start things off and Jacques offers a handshake. Scott says screw you in classic Freakzilla style. Scott hits a quick belly to belly for two and it’s off to Rick. Jacques brings in Yoko and things slow down almost immediately. Rick hits a clothesline and a shoulder to knock Yoko out to the floor but it doesn’t do much good.
Off to Borga who died in the last year or so. Rick gets knocked to the floor but comes back in off the top with a shoulder for no cover. Borga misses an elbow and Rick goes up again, coming off with a cross body. Borga rolls through it and Rick isn’t moving at all, giving Borga an easy pin. Rick finally starts moving and holds his leg, so I’m thinking that’s a legit injury. Rick can’t stand up on the floor.
Scott comes in next and gets to fight Jacques. Rick eventually limps off on his own power which is a good sign at least. Scott hits a great gorilla press but Crush catches a falling Jacques and I guess that’s a tag. Steiner wants nothing to do with a test of strength so Crush pounds on him a bit. A butterfly powerbomb puts Crush down and apparently Savage is back in the building. Crush kicks Scott down and here’s Macho.
Crush throws Scott down to the floor over the top but he won’t go after Savage. Randy gets sent to the back and the dull match continues as Scott may have hurt his knee on that fall. The knee gets targeted now with Crush firing away some kicks and Savage is coming back AGAIN. Scott dropkicks Crush to the floor and Crush goes after Savage for long enough to draw a countout.
Jacques goes after the injured Scott now with a rear chinlock followed by an elbow to the jaw for two. Scott somehow hits a gorilla press on Jacques and there’s the tag to Lex. He slams Jacques down and drops a middle rope elbow for the elimination. It’s now Lex, Taker and Scott vs. Borga and Yoko. Borga comes in to face the still limping Scott. Taker hasn’t been in the match yet.
Borga pounds on the ribs and whips Scott in the corner so he can clothesline Steiner down. Borga goes up top but gets suplexed back down for two. Yoko comes in and pounds away, but Scott gets in some offense. He tries the freaking Frankensteiner which goes about as well as you would expect it to, resulting in a legdrop from Yoko eliminating Scott to get us down to two on two.
Luger comes in as we’re almost 20 minutes in with no Taker at all yet. Borga, a Finn, waves the Japanese flag. Yoko misses a splash and Lex pounds away, only to get clotheslined down with ease. Off to Borga who runs Luger over again and kicks him in the ribs. Back to Yoko who misses a charge, and it’s FINALLY off to Taker.
Taker hits his running DDT and sits up but a Borga distraction lets Yoko suplex Taker down. There’s the situp and another after a clothesline. A legdrop keeps Taker down and there’s the Banzai, but Yoko goes for another, and Taker moves. A clothesline puts Yoko on the floor and they brawl to a double countout. See you at the Rumble boys. Taker was legally in the match for less than two minutes and forty seconds.
So it’s Lex vs. Borga now and as Taker and Yoko brawl on the floor. Ludvig has taken over and drops a leg on Lex. A side slam puts Lex down for two and Borga gets more two’s off various other power moves. He isn’t covering well though so he isn’t ready to pin Luger yet. A suplex puts Borga down and they clothesline each other. With Cornette distracting the referee, Borga hits Lex with Fuji’s salt bucket for two. Lex gets fired up and hits a powerslam and the loaded forearm for the final pin.
Rating: D+. This didn’t work either. Taker was the main draw of the match and he wasn’t even in there for a tenth of the match. Yoko vs. Taker would go on to screw up two PPVs and Lex would never get the title, basically making the second half of 1993 totally pointless. This match didn’t work at all, and a lot of that is due to the heel lineup. Unless there was an injury or something, I don’t get why Pierre was taken out.
Santa comes out to celebrate with Luger just like last year.
Overall Rating: D. Let’s take a look at this card: great opener, WAY too long second match with the wrong main heel, a match from another company, the banana peel/water balloon match, and the main event with an evil foreign Hawaiian (insert your own lame Obama joke here). This show comes off as very long and dull, with most of the matches being completely uninteresting. It was uninteresting back in the day too, as this show got the lowest buyrate in the history of the Survivor Series up to this point. Next year would be another head scratching show.
Ratings Comparison
Team Razor Ramon vs. Team IRS
Original: B
Redo: B
Hart Family vs. Team Shawn Michaels
Original: D+
Redo: D
Rock N Roll Express vs. Heavenly Bodies
Original: B
Redo: B-
Four Doinks vs. Team Bam Bam Bigelow
Original: N/A
Redo: Awe
All-Americans vs. Foreign Fanatics
Original: C-
Redo: D+
Overall Rating:
Original: C+
Redo: D
It was almost the same until the overall rating. I don’t get how it jumps up that high off just a few better grades.
Today we’re looking at one of the best tag teams of all time: Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard.
The team was put together actually to save time as there wasn’t enough space for all the interviews needed. Along with Ric Flair and Ole Anderson, Arn uttered something like “not since the four horsemen of the apocalypse has there been this much destruction.” Arn and Tully were put together as a team and had some incredible success, often listed among the greatest combinations of all time. We’ll start at Starrcade 1987 against the most dominant team of all time.
Tag Titles: Arn Anderson/Tully Blanchard vs. Road Warriors
The Warriors are challenging in their hometown of Chicago. Arn and Hawk start things off with Hawk taking him down via a top wristlock. Anderson is sent to the floor for a staredown with the Warriors’ manager Paul Ellering. Off to Tully who is almost immediately sent to the floor. Animal will have none of this stalling though and sends him right back inside. Hawk pounds away even more and hits a dropkick for a quick near fall.
Off to Animal who catches Blanchard coming in off the top in a powerslam for another two count. Arn comes back in and manages to avoid a charge in the corner, only to have his head taken off by a clothesline from Animal. Blanchard tries to come in but gets punched right in the jaw as well. Both Horsemen try to go after Hawk, only to get clotheslined down for a near fall on Blanchard. Total dominance by the Warriors so far.
Back to Animal for a bearhug plus a right hand from Hawk. Animal drops Tully down and Blanchard goes bailing to the corner. A dropkick to the ribs puts Blanchard down again so he tags in Anderson. Animal has to chase Arn on the floor before coming back inside to gorilla press him down. A press slam on Tully by Hawk is broken up by Arn hitting Hawk in the knee and the Horsemen FINALLY take over.
Tully adds in a chair shot to Hawk’s knee on the floor and a DDT gets two for Arn back in the ring. Blanchard’s figure four is countered into a small package so Tully pounds on the knee a bit more instead. Arn’s spinning toehold is broken up but here’s Tully again for the figure four. For some reason he tags in Anderson with Hawk still in the hold, and it’s Anderson who gets crotched to allow the hot tag to Animal. Everything breaks down and Tully accidentally knocks the referee to the floor before Hawk throws Anderson the floor. Back in and there’s the Doomsday Device on Arn for the pin and the titles.
Rating: C. This took awhile to get going but once the Road Warriors got rolling it got awesome in a hurry. They’re such a physical and dominant team that it’s almost impossible to not get fired up watching them. The leg work here by the Horsemen was much more interesting than say the arm work by Taylor, as they have the size and ability to make you believe the Warriors were in trouble.
Oh and scratch that title change because Anderson was thrown over the top, meaning the Warriors are disqualified and the Horsemen keep the belts. Say it with me: Dusty Finish. The fans boo this out of the building and with good reason. Who does this help? The Warriors look inept because they didn’t get the win, the Horsemen look like weak champions because they got pinned, and the fans are mad because at STARRCADE we can’t change the belts. Just a dumb idea all around.
Here they are defending the belts again at Clash of the Champions I.
World Tag Team Titles: Arn Anderson/Tully Blanchard vs. Lex Luger/Barry Windham
Anderson and Blanchard are defending and Windham and Luger are incredibly popular due to the Horsemen (the champions) kicking him out of the team for reasons explained earlier. Luger starts with Tully and pushes him down with ease. The champions try some double teaming but both get clotheslined followed by a powerslam to Blanchard. Lex puts Tully in his Torture Rack finisher but Anderson kicks Luger in the knee for the save. Arn comes in and goes after the knee before it’s back to Tully for more of the same.
Lex sends the Horsemen into each other and Tully can’t stop the hot tag to Windham. Barry cleans house and hits the lariat followed by a powerslam for two on Blanchard. Ross is losing his mind on commentary as only he can. A sleeper nearly puts Blanchard out but Barry lets him fall to the floor for a breather. Back in and Tully goes up but gets slammed down and put in an abdominal stretch. Arn makes the save and Horsemen manager JJ Dillon distracts the referee, allowing Anderson to DDT Windham for a very close two.
Anderson tries to hold Windham’s shoulder down for two but jumps in the air, allowing Barry to raise his knees and crotch Arn for a breather. Tully breaks up another tag attempt but gets caught by a cross body for two. They run the ropes a few times and collide, knocking both guys down to the mat. A gutwrench suplex puts Tully down again and it’s back to Anderson who misses a knee drop and gets popped with a right hand. Windham is spent though and collapses before making the tag.
Tully comes in again and hits his slingshot suplex finisher for a close two on Barry. Anderson comes in off the tag but Barry goes over to the corner and falls into the tag to Luger. Lex cleans house again and sends the champions into each other but Tully gets in a knee to the back to slow him down. Luger shrugs it off and snaps off the powerslam as everything breaks down. Dillon holds up a chair in the corner but Luger reverses a whip to send Arn head first into the steel for the pin and the titles. The crowd reaction for the pin is other worldly as the Horsemen were despised at this point.
Rating: B. This was the kind of match the show needed to make it historic as the Horsemen had held the titles for months on end and Luger was the man that needed to take them away. Barry was making the match work here before Luger came in to clean house at the end. That’s a good formula for someone like Luger and the result worked well.
There was an annual tag team tournament from 1986-1988 called the Jim Crockett Sr. Memorial Tag Team Tournament. Here are Arn and Tully in the 1988 edition.
Crockett Cup Semifinals – Arn Anderson/Tully Blanchard vs. Fantastics
This should be awesome. Rogers vs. Blanchard to get us going and as usual the Horsemen don’t start out that well. Double teaming puts Blanchard down and the Fantastics dance a bit. Off to Arn vs. Fulton as the champions take over. Fulton is sent into the post on the floor and rolls back in to get beaten up by Blanchard a bit more. Fulton’s tights are half down.
The heels naturally cheat because they’re Horsemen and that’s what they do. Anderson comes in and pounds away even more, but it’s Fulton with a facejam and there’s the hot tag to Rodgers. The Fantastics hit double dropkicks all around and the Rocket Launcher hits Anderson but he’s illegal. Teddy counts it for two anyway and Tully makes the save. Anderson pops in with JJ’s shoe and that’s enough to pin Rodgers.
Rating: C+. Short but it’s still pretty easily the best tournament match of the night so far. The Horsemen vs. Luger/Sting is something you really can’t screw up and I don’t think they will here. Not a classic or anything like that but it’s still a pretty solid match. There was clipping but that’s the nature of the beast on this show.
And the finals.
Crockett Cup Final: Sting/Lex Luger vs. Arn Anderson/Tully Blanchard
The winner gets a million bucks. Tully vs. Luger to start which is fine for me. Off to Anderson quickly and it’s all Luger with him even busting out a dropkick of all things. Anderson makes a tag while on the floor which doesn’t count because it, you know, illegal. Off to Sting vs. Tully and even Magnum gets in a shot which just feels right. All sting/Luger for the first few minutes here.
Back to Lex and Anderson with some stuff clipped I think. Luger works on Anderson’s arm just like he’s an Anderson. Gee it’s like he learned something during his time in the Horsemen and is incorporating it into his offense now. What black magic is this??? Back to Sting who works on the arm again but the Splash misses in the corner. Back to the fresh Tully who throws Sting over the top for a not-DQ because Dillon had the referee. See how much a manager can help?
Spinebuster puts Sting down and draws some WOOs from the crowd. Not sure I get that one. It turns into a standard tag match now and Sting grabs a Stinger Splash out of nowhere but messes up the Deathlock so Anderson is able to make the save. There’s your tag to Luger and everything breaks down. Magnum trips Anderson and the distraction is enough for Luger to roll him up for the pin and the tournament win.
Rating: C+. Just a regular tag match here for the most part but the crowd carried this a lot. Sting against the Horsemen just felt right which is why I never quite got him being part of them later, even when they were faces. The crowd wasn’t as burned out as you would expect as this was the second night of the tournament which helped A LOT.
From Clash of the Champions II.
World Tag Team Titles: Sting/Dusty Rhodes vs. Arn Anderson/Tully Blanchard
Sting and Rhodes are challenging of course and Dusty is nearing the end of his run with the promotion. Sting starts with Anderson and counters the wristlock in the same way he did to Flair at the first Clash. Arn bails to the floor for a breather and the fans are WAY into Sting here. Back in and Anderson throws Sting to the floor, only to miss a charge into the post. Sting wraps Arn’s arm around the post and cranks on it back inside for good measure.
The champions tag to bring in Tully but Sting slams him down twice in a row and tags in Dusty to an even bigger ovation from the crowd. Rhodes cleans house with punches to the face and Blanchard is in trouble in the corner. A big elbow to the head puts him down and Dusty puts on his pretty bad looking Figure Four. The hold is short lived though as a JJ Dillon distraction lets Anderson make the save and send Dusty to the floor.
Sting immediately comes over for the save and Dusty gets back inside, only to take a beating from Tully. Rhodes scores with a shoulder block and a dropkick without much air under it. Back to Sting to take over with a Stinger Splash to Blanchard but Anderson breaks up the Deathlock attempt. The Horsemen drop Sting onto the barricade to stop his momentum and Anderson drives an elbow into his back for two.
A middle rope splash hits Sting’s knees but more Horsemen double teaming stops the hot tag to Rhodes. Tully can’t get a sunset flip but Arn clotheslines Sting down to the mat for two. Blanchard sends Sting back to the floor and Anderson gets in a quick DDT on the concrete to knock Sting out cold. Dillon throws Sting back in but the referee is with Dusty, allowing Sting to kick out at two.
A backslide gets the same on Arn but he’s able to tag out while still being counted. It’s amazing how efficient the Horsemen were at teaming and that’s a great example of their skill. Sting catches Tully in a hot shot and now Dusty comes in off the tag. The fans suddenly believe the championships are in trouble and everything breaks down. The referee gets bumped and Barry Windham and Ric Flair run in for the disqualification.
Rating: D+. The fans helped this a lot but it wasn’t a great match from a technical standpoint. There was a good chance of a title change here given what happened at the previous Clash, which sets a good precedent for future shows in this series. It’s also a good sign that Sting is in another main event here and is being treated like a big deal and threats to titles.
Sting had a new partner at the Great American Bash 1988.
World Tag Titles: Sting/Nikita Koloff vs. Arn Anderson/Tully Blanchard
No entrance for the champions. Koloff has a full head of hair and it’s not working for him at all. Sting has burst onto the national scene with his classic at the first Clash so the crowd is white hot. They clear the ring quickly but the Horsemen are all like BRING IT ON. Sting nails a dropkick to send Arn to the floor and then hits a plancha (remember this is 1988) and takes Anderson out.
They’re the official starters and it’s off to Nikita for some arm work quickly. Koloff fakes Anderson out and hits Sickles on both Horsemen but doesn’t cover until late and Arn gets his foot on the ropes. Those idiot Lithuanians. Sting comes in and it’s back to the arm. The Horsemen try to double team Sting with stereo top wristlocks but Sting is like screw that and backflips out of it. He was so fast and so athletic back in the day that no one could touch him.
Tully comes in and finds his arm being yanked on too. Nikita works him to the mat with ease and gets some two counts. Tony and Jim talk about the continuity of the challengers being great which is a surprise. It’s so nice to hear guys talking about the match and analyzing it instead of having them rant and rave about stuff that has nothing to do with it. Blanchard misses a charge into the corner and goes into the post shoulder first.
Anderson manages to slap Tully’s boot but that doesn’t count. I wonder what you actually have to do to have a tag count. That’s an interesting question. Anyway back to Sting after a fake tag (he did the clapping thing) as Tully still can’t get out. We’re 10 minutes into this and it’s been all Sting and Koloff, which is an old formula in the NWA and I’d bet we see it again in Luger vs. Flair later.
Koloff and Blanchard go to the mat and Anderson FINALLY gets the tag but Nikita rolls to his own corner to further frustrate Arn. Koloff takes Anderson to the mat quickly but the Horsemen get in some shots to the knee to FINALLY slow things down. That lasts about five seconds as Koloff and Blanchard collide and go to the floor together. Nikita suplexes him in for two but JJ makes the save. Koloff tries to drill him but clotheslines the post instead and there’s your match changing moment.
You don’t have to tell Arn twice that someone has a bad arm so he sends Koloff’s arm into the post again and Tully pounces. Off to Anderson for the hammerlock slam (called vintage by JR). There are five minutes left and that should tell you what the ending is going to be right away. Koloff fights up but gets caught in a DDT for a pop. That’s still a very popular move at this point but it only gets two here.
Tully and Arn keep working on the arm but they can’t seem to pick which arm that it’s supposed to be. Blanchard hooks on an armbar and we have three minutes to go. Arn tries a Vader Bomb but jumps into knees and the hot tag gets a big pop. We’re under two minutes and Sting is dominating. Sting dropkicks Tully and hits the splash but Arn makes a tag to kill the crowd dead. The one minute mark brings a sleeper to Arn but Tully tries a top rope sunset flip which Sting blocks. Sting hits the splash and gets the Scorpion on Blanchard but time runs out and it’s a draw.
Rating: B-. Solid stuff here but with five minutes to go everyone knew it was going to be a draw. Also the first 10 minutes or so are mainly armbars but Sting was such a popular and charismatic guy that he was able to carry the whole thing through to that point. Nikita helped as well as he knew how to work a crowd like few others. Good opener though, although I’m not sure if they should have kept the titles on the Horsemen or not.
The team would leave the NWA over various issues and head to the WWF as the Brain Busters. Here’s their debut on Superstars, October 22, 1988.
Brain Busters vs. Bob Emery/Tommy Angel
Tully shoves I think Angel around and brings in Arn for a slam. Anderson sends him into a dropkick from Blanchard as the destuction begins. Arn ducks a middle rope cross body and throws Angel over to Emery for a tag, knowing Tommy can’t touch him. The slingshot suplex ends Bob quick.
Brainbusters vs. Rockers
Arn takes Shawn down to start with a little pull of the hair. Lord Alfred Hayes gets the Rockers screwed up somehow as Arn pops Marty in the jaw. Shawn sends Anderson to the floor so Marty can give him a few receipts as everything breaks down. The Rockers clean house until it’s Shawn hammering on Arn’s jaw and slapping him in the face. Hayes FINALLY gets the Rockers straight as they bail to the floor to frustrate the Brainbusters.
Shawn vs. Tully now as things slow down with Michaels cranking on an armbar. Marty comes in and uses the same hold to draw in Arn, allowing the Rockers to change without a tag. The Busters try to change without a tag but the referee won’t allow it. Classic bit but it still works. Blanchard cranks on Marty’s arm and Anderson tries to come in again, only to have the heels gets dropkicked outside. They come right back in and try a double suplex on Jannetty but Shawn catches his partner and a double superkick sent the Busters to the floor.
Back in and Anderson gets in a knee to Shawn’s back as the heels take over. Shawn moonsaults over Arn in the corner and gets two off a hurricanrana as everything breaks down. A double dropkick apiece puts the Busters on the floor again as the fans are getting into this. Tully comes back in but gets the slingshot suplex countered into a rollup for two. He and Shawn head outside again where Arn gets in a cheap shot on Shawn as the heels take over for real this time.
Arn sends Shawn into Tully’s knee in the corner and we hit the chinlock on Michaels. Shawn flips Tully over but it’s Arn coming right back in with a shot to the back. He misses a series of elbow drops and gets caught in a sunset flip but is able to walk over to Tully for the tag before Shawn can take him down. Blanchard sends Shawn to the floor but gets rammed face first into the buckle. A top rope cross body gets two for Michaels but Arn breaks up another hot tag attempt.
We hit the abdominal stretch and the Busters actually get caught changing without tagging. Not that it matters as Arn puts Michaels in a reverse chinlock to draw Marty back in so Tully can get in a cheap shot. Tully comes in and takes it to the mat but gets caught in a backslide for two. Shawn dives for the tag but can’t slap Marty’s hand to keep the beating going.
The spinebuster from Anderson (called a body to body suplex) gets two but Anderson crotches himself on Shawn’s knees. Marty FINALLY comes in to clean house as everything breaks down. It’s the Wrestlemania V finish with Marty suplexing Blanchard but Arn trips him up and holds the boot to give Tully the pin. Nice touch as Heenan was the Busters’ manager and would use that finish to get the Intercontinental Title a few months later.
Rating: B. This is 1980s tag team wrestling done at a high level, meaning it’s going to be hard to top it. The Rockers would get better and there could have been more drama at the end, but this was an entertaining old school match with a nice heat segment on Michaels. As always it’s the classic formula: make the fans want to see Shawn tag and they’ll cheer when he gets there. It’s worked for nearly 30 years and it’ll work today.
Off to SNME, starting with XX.
Brainbusters vs. Rockers
Slingshot suplex is countered maybe 2 seconds in. This is insanity from the get go. Shawn nips up and catches Arn coming off the top. Just incredibly fast paced stuff here with Shawn and Tully putting on a clinic out there. One of the reasons the Brainbusters were awesome was that they could wrestle absolutely any style from fast to slow to ground to aerial to submission to brawling or whatever. Heenan pulls the top rope down and Shawn goes over so Brain is tossed.
After a break the Busters get a blind tag and Arn drills Jannetty to take over for his team. Marty gets beaten down for a little while but the hot tag to Shawn evens things out all over again. It falls apart and Shawn freaking DIVES over the ropes to get at Arn, throwing punches as he goes down. It’s a double count out but that’s fine as neither team should lose here.
Rating: B. I really liked this and thought about going a bit higher. This was a very fast paced match and a way to show off both of these teams for how awesome they really were. The Rockers would remain awesome for a good while as would the Busters. How did the Rockers never officially win the tag belts? It’s saying a lot that the Harts and other teams were that much better.
Off to Wrestlemania V.
Brain Busters vs. Strike Force
This is the return of Strike Force after Martel had a bad injury. Blanchard and Martel start things off and Rick almost immediately has to punch out of the wrong corner. Off to Anderson who gets rammed face first into the mat before being put in his own test of strength on the mat. Arn catches Martel in a body scissors but Rick turns it over into his signature Boston Crab.
Blanchard makes the save but Tito immediately comes in to put him in the Figure Four. Martel puts one on Anderson as well as things break down. We get some near falls by Tito but he accidentally hits the forearm on Martel to take him out. Rick gets ticked off as Tito is basically in a handicap match. The Busters get to take over on Tito but you know Santana can hang with either guy.
Arn goes up but gets slammed down, allowing Tito to set up a hot tag to….no one. Martel drops down to the floor and walks out on his partner, officially making it a handicap match. The yet to be named spinebuster from Anderson plants Tito and it’s back to Blanchard. Tully blocks a monkey flip and the spike piledriver kills Tito dead for the pin.
Rating: B-. Best match of the night so far as all four guys were moving out there. Tito could go with the best of them and he had some of the best of them to do that with in this one. Martel and Santana would feud on and off for about a year until they just stopped fighting out of nowhere.
More SNME with XXII.
Tag Titles: Brainbusters vs. Demolition
So last SNME there was a solid match where the Busters had Demolition in trouble but Demolition got disqualified, intentionally or not is up for debate. Demolition says they’ll demolish them. They’ve held the belts since Mania 4 so it’s been a LONG time, actually the longest reign with the belts ever. This is 2/3 falls mind you. Tully and Axe start us off. I never felt comfortable with the Horsemen in WWF. It just didn’t feel right at all.
It’s ALL Demolition to start which should tell you something. Smash grabs a boot coming down at him which is something straight out of an 80s action movie. Smash apparently has an injured knee. Uh, sure. They just kind of said it was injured and then it isn’t anymore. Ok then. Anderson hits the spinebuster which doesn’t have a name yet. Smash gets a hot shot on Arn for a pin to get the first fall. That came a bit out of nowhere.
After a break it’s time for the second fall. There was no rest though as the perk of SNME was that since it was taped there was no wrestling during the break. As in it would pick up right where it was left off. We get a lot of double teaming on both sides and it gives the heels the advantage. A horrible camel clutch does nothing of note. In the middle of the insanity, Andre comes down and does nothing and Demolition is disqualified for double teaming to tie us up. This is a mess to put it mildly.
Now if Demolition is DQ’ed or counted out here, the titles don’t change hands. The heels do the old British Bulldogs move of ramming one guy’s head into his own partners’ which works well here. Axe takes over again but in a stupid looking moment he hits an atomic drop and rams his head into Arn’s. Both get hot tags though and this needs to end. It’s ANOTHER big mess but Andre throws in a chair for Tully which gets the pin and the titles to end the nearly year and a half reign with the titles for Demolition.
Rating: D. WOW this was a mess. It’s not particularly bad, but we get it: THEY CAN BRAWL. There’s far more brawling in this than wrestling which is rare as hell for this era. The match could have worked as it’s not like the Brainbusters couldn’t wrestle or something like that. This was just a mess the whole time and it didn’t do it for me.
And now for the Busters’ last major match forever due to Tully failing a drug test. From SNME XXIV.
Brainbusters vs. The Rockers
This is 2/3 falls. Before the match we have a commercial and since this is from 1989, there’s an ad for Batman now on VHS! Tully was in black before the break and is in red now. I love stuff like that. Jannetty and Blanchard start us off and it’s all drug addict. Wait…might need some more explanation there. Blanchard was forced to retire just after this due to a failed test. Jannetty gets a sunset flip for the pin on Tully for the first fall in like a minute and a half after some basic stuff.
Bobby is TICKED at them and leaves them on their own. The Rockers clean house and work on Arn. This is the sharpest they’ve ever looked and it’s working great. Shawn goes too fast and gets a hot shot to even us up as Jesse leaves to talk to Heenan.
Back from the break and Jesse has found Bobby. He says this is the worst team he’s ever worked with, which is saying a lot given that he had Red Rooster and Brooklyn Brawler for awhile. Bobby fires them more or less which makes sense as this is their final match with the company.
Shawn is hurt to start the third fall and is in there with Tully. I feel sorry for him. SICK spinebuster on Shawn which didn’t have a name at this point. Shawn plays Ricky Morton here but makes the tag and literally brings the crowd to their feet. Shawn stops a spike piledriver and hits a high cross body on Arn to win it.
Rating: C-. Not great but this was about the angle more than anything else. The Rockers could have been any team here but they were fun and exciting and were in the Heenan Family match at Survivor Series so they made the most sense. This was a decent enough match but really was a squash. That’s not something that happens to the former Horsemen that often.
I don’t know what you want me to say here. Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard are as pure of a heel tag team as you’ll ever see and were one of the only teams the Road Warriors couldn’t figure out. Let me say that again: the Road Warriors couldn’t take the belts off them. That’s as good of an endorsement as you can possibly have.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Time for one of the most successful tag teams of all time: the Outsiders.
Other than a few house show matches in the WWF, the Outsiders never teamed together until their time in WCW. We’ll start with one of the most famous moments of all time at Bash at the Beach 1996.
Sting/Lex Luger/Randy Savage vs. Kevin Nash/Scott Hall/???
In case you don’t remember, the WCW guys were selected by putting the names of the top 6 WCW wrestlers based on win/loss record over the past I think six months or a year in a hat and drawing them out. The others were Hogan, Taskmaster and Giant. Hall and Nash come out alone and don’t have names yet. Tony gives them their names here. Until then they were just the Outsiders.
I’m not one for six man main events but this feels huge. Partially because it is huge. Gene goes into the ring before the WCW guys are here to find out who the third man is or for that matter where he is. The build for the drama here is epic. They’re milking this for everything they can.
The commentators aren’t even trying to stay unbiased which for once is nice. Even Randy Anderson is taller than Gene. Buffer is almost as tall as Scott Hall. Wow I didn’t realize that. The bell rings and we actually start with a handicap match.
The paranoia of the announcers actually upgrade this, marking the final time the WCW commentators don’t make me want a stiff drink in the history of WCW. Luger and Hall start. Now we get to the interesting part about a minute in. It turns into a big brawl and Nash and Luger are in the corner. Sting launches a Stinger Splash and nails Nash.
He also nails Luger, whose head and neck are rammed into the turnbuckle/bar attaching the turnbuckle to the ring. He’s OUT. They bring out a stretcher to carry him to the back and we have a 2-2 match with the third man on the way out. Now this does a few things. First of all, it makes the Outsiders look like they have a chance. Being realistic, there was no three man combination in the world that could have beaten Sting, Luger and Savage at this point and looked dominant.
That’s a WCW All-Star team to put it mildly and it would have been a waste of time to try. By making it two against what would become three, it makes WCW, the faces, at a disadvantage as they should be (are you listening TNA?). Also, this throws out a tiny piece of meat to the smarks as Luger and Sting had been the top candidates to be the third man.
It opens a door for Luger coming back and never being hurt and it opens a door for Sting to have done that on purpose. Either way the match pretty much stops at this point while we wheel Luger out. Tony says the Outsiders planned that somehow. That makes no sense but whatever. Crowd is RABID here.
Savage comes in but when Nash goes for a big elbow he lands on Savage’s head so Sting has to come in. Nash beats the tar out of Sting as does Hall so Savage is going to get the hot tag. There’s no real penalty or reward if the Outsiders win. They’re doing something brilliant here as they’re pacing things out to the point where we forget about the third man.
That’s very smart booking and I’m in awe of how this match is going. Tony says the Outsiders should get hurt. Wow. I’m not sure if that’s awesome or not. Savage FINALLY gets the hot tag and you actually can barely understand the announcers over the crowd. Nash gets a low blow on him though…and here comes Hulk Hogan. Heenan asks which side is he on.
The Outsiders clear the ring….and Hogan turns heel, dropping a leg on Savage and then another one. To say the crowd is furious is an understatement. This is legitimately a shock as NO ONE, not Meltzer, not Keith, not Reynolds, no one called this and if they did they were wrong at the time because from every report I can find, this decision was made the day of or the day before the show as Sting was scheduled to be the third man until Hogan agreed to do it.
This was a legitimate shocker and it lived up to every bit of the hype. Hogan turning was the one thing that made this angle work as I’ll get into later on. This was a great moment and I was about to cry when it happened. The fans flood the ring with garbage as Gene gets in. Hogan cements his heel status by saying the fans need to shut up if they want to hear what he has to say. That line alone makes this promo.
He says the name and the rest is history. Hogan claims the success for making WWF. I’m shocked too. Hogan says he’s bored with WCW and is joining up with the Outsiders and calls them the new blood of WCW. This is the one problem I had with both this turn and Austin joining the Alliance in 2001. Both guys said they were bored with the companies they had been in and wanted better competition.
If you’re going to be fighting the company you used to work for, won’t you be fighting the same competition you were fighting before? Hogan’s title win was over Giant who he had fought at I think three PPVs and his first defense was against Flair and you know that history. That just never made sense to me.
He throws in the for some reason semi-famous line about Bischoff selling meat from a truck in Minneapolis which is actually true. Hogan runs down the fans and does his trademark line. Tony says where Hogan can go twice and we’re done.
Rating: A+. This was about launching the NWO. It worked. Next up was a regular tag match at Hog Wild 1996.
Outsiders vs. Sting/Lex Luger
Well here’s your first half of the main event. They actually haven’t talked much about these matches tonight so that’s a perk. Oh and there’s supposed to be another member announced tonight. So far it’s still the original three. Sting and Luger get more pyro than should be humanly allowed for a single team. Tony makes an interesting point, likely his last ever, by saying Luger never got a chance to really compete against Hall and Nash. That’s very true.
Heenan says that no one cares who wins or loses. Well ok then. They point out the total lack of Savage here which I was thinking about before this match. Hall and Luger start us off and it’s all Hall so far. Now THIS Hall I could buy as this great worker that everyone heralds him as. Again we see the problem with this crowd as the mega heels get NOTHING as far as heat goes while the faces get the same.
Luger does the Pec Dance and Nash wants Sting. And we immediately see the problem that would dominate the company for over a year: the NWO is dominating. That was the problem: they never lost at all. I get that they need to look dominant early so this is fine. Around the new year or even Halloween though the WCW guys needed to start scoring some major wins.
It wouldn’t be for many months beyond that for such a thing to happen though. Sting takes Snake Eyes and it’s all Nash who gets cheers of course. Heenan insists no one has left. Sure why not. Heenan accidently implies he wants the NWO to win. How in the world did he never jump? He goes on a small rant about how the NWO has a mastermind. Uh wasn’t that Hogan? This has been ALL Outsiders and Heenan is cheering for Hall.
He was hilarious when he wasn’t even trying to be. Razor’s Edge is blocked and Sting makes his hot tag. He had charisma if nothing else. Luger just beats the tar out of everybody and signals for the Rack on Hall as Nash is in the Scorpion on the floor. We then get the beginning of an angle that went on FOREVER as Patrick gets kicked in the face by Hall and “accidently” lands on Luger’s leg and fast counts Luger. If he could have done that at Starrcade 97 WCW could have stayed in business.
Rating: C+. The Outsiders dominating was just boring. You need to let the faces get something in but of course they didn’t because that doesn’t make the NWO look strong. Even still though this was at least ok and made sense given the circumstances. Now if only they had changed the formula.
Time to go after the Tag Team Titles at Halloween Havoc 1996.
Tag Titles: The Outsiders vs. Harlem Heat
That original NWO music is still awesome. Then again so is Harlem Heat’s. The Heat had recently lost and regained the titles from Public Enemy for a pointless reign that lasted like two weeks. The Outsiders grab the belts and hold them up to a pop. Seeing the whole rebellion against the angles is very interesting. It was clear that the fans wanted something new. WWF realized that and made Austin, the rebel character, the top guy in the company and a face. Moral: listen to the audience. They’ll never let you down.
Apparently Sherri is the quarterback of Harlem Heat. Well I wouldn’t mind seeing her in the pants I guess. Stevie knocks Hall over the top rope which they immediately explain is NOT a DQ here. Why didn’t they just drop that stupid rule? I never got a straight answer to that. Anyway, Heenan says this is the first real test for the Outsiders, because clearly fighting Luger and Sting at Hog Wild wasn’t a test right? Or Savage, Luger and Sting or any other big combination they had. I love idiotic lines like that.
The fans loudly boo Harlem Heat taking over. I feel sorry for the announcers at times and then they say something stupid enough to make me lose any and all sympathy I have for them. The Heat dominate early on which is different than what you would expect. Crowd is totally behind the Outsiders here. Hall uses a chokeslam which he used back in like 93 I think. It’s weird to think he’s been using that since Giant was in high school.
Hall kisses Sherri. Can we get a sexual harassment lawsuit from the congregation? Booker hooks a sleeper and gets booed out of the building for it. Stevie gets the hot tag and cleans house, setting up the Harlem Hangover on Hall. Parker comes in for no apparent reason at all and swings the cane at Nash. This of course doesn’t work and two cane shots from Nash to Booker give the Outsiders the tag titles.
Rating: C-. Eh nothing great here but not that bad. This is far more important for the historical aspect than anything else. The ending made sense at least and the cheating was minimal, but the heels won with nefarious activities so that’s all fine. This wasn’t terrible, but the crowd told a lot of the story here as the heels got cheered and few liked the faces.
And a defense from Starrcade 1996.
Tag Titles: Outsiders vs. Faces of Fear
The Outsiders, Kevin Nash and Scott Hall, are defending here. The Faces of Fear are the Barbarian (I told you he stuck around for a long time) and Meng, Robert Parker’s old bodyguard, managed by Jimmy Hart. Hall and Meng start things off with the Tongan monster putting on a wristlock. Hall cranks on the arm but gets caught with a stiff clothesline. Meng charges into a boot in the corner, followed by a bulldog by Hall. The bulldog merely seems to tick Meng off though so he pounds Hall down and brings in Barbarian.
Off to Nash who pounds Barbarian into the corner and fires off some big slow knees to the ribs. An elbow to the face staggers Barbarian but he shoves the 7’0 Nash into the corner and pounds away with chops. Meng comes in and the challengers pound Nash down to a big reaction from the crowd. Nash tries to ram their heads together, but Wrestling Law #3 says anyone described as a savage has a VERY hard head, meaning it has no effect.
Nash is kicked down again for a two count for Barbarian but he misses a middle rope elbow. Barbarian is dropped face first on the top turnbuckle in a move called Snake Eyes (a move named by Nash when he portrayed Vinnie Vegas) and it’s back to Hall to pound on Barbarian a bit more. Meng comes down the apron and pulls Hall to the challengers’ corner for a double team with Barbarian. A BIG boot to the face puts Hall down but referee Nick Patrick, who may or may not be in the NWO’s pocket, takes his sweet time in counting two.
Back to Meng for a very delayed piledriver for another near fall. Barbarian tries his luck again with a bunch of chops and a good looking powerbomb. Patrick again takes forever to count, allowing Nash to come in for a save. Barbarian stays on Hall as Tony says he’s confused by who is legal. To be fair though, tying his shoes confuses Tony. NWO member Syxx goes after Jimmy Hart and the pair head to the back.
Barbarian puts on a nerve hold as Hall gets to lay on the mat. Maybe he needs a nap after all the hard work he’s done in this match so far. After not moving for a good 20 seconds and not being checked by Patrick, Hall fights up and suplexes Barbarian down to escape. Tag off to Nash who gets two off a big boot of his own. Everything breaks down and Nash powerbombs Barbarian down to retain.
Rating: C-. This one went longer than it needed to and even when I was eight years old I knew the Faces of Fear had no chance here. The Outsiders held those belts for the better part of a year and a half with no one being able to take them from them (and keep them that is). The match was a watchable power match but the belts never felt like they were in danger at all.
Another defense against their biggest rivals at Souled Out 1997.
Tag Titles: Outsiders vs. Steiner Brothers
This was built up forever and included attempted vehicular manslaughter by the heels. I mean there was a video of the two teams in their cars and the Outsiders ran them off the road. The Scotts start us off with various levels of arm work. These camera angles are really getting annoying as it’s hard to tell what we’re looking at sometimes. And let’s talk about Hogan.
Rick vs. Hall now. And now back to the arm. Rick gets out of it by punching Hall in the face. Again, when all else fails: HIT THEM IN THE FACE! Chokeslam gets Hall out of trouble and here’s Nash. They don’t exactly look energetic out there if that makes sense. Scott hits that spinning belly to belly and now more arm work. Everyone has had the arm worked on at various times here.
This has been half punches, half arm work and half suplexes. There were occasions where both were going on at the same time. BIG boot puts Rick on the floor. The ring color is very offputting here. This is your usual slow and plodding Outsiders match with not a lot going on but a lot of time wasting, which technically is something I guess. And now let’s yell at DiBiase because we don’t care about the match.
Nash misses an elbow which takes us nowhere. Scott reaches out to Rick but Rick is facing the wrong way. Maybe Scott wants to take up proctology. Snake Eyes on the apron as we’re on the floor now. It’s Nash and Rick still if you’re wondering. Scott Steiner drills the other Scott and drops a bunch of F Bombs. Good night this needs to get going already.
Scott FINALLY comes in and beats up anyone that enjoys being outside with ease. Everything goes nuts and Scott gets the Razor’s Edge to Scott but there’s no referee. Top rope bulldog ends Hall and Randy Anderson comes in out of the crowd and counts the pin. If you’re stupid enough to think this lasted through Nitro the next night, you’re a very stupid person.
Rating: D+. Just rather boring again as the Outsiders couldn’t move at all and it just isn’t interesting to see them fight. Nothing special at all here as this DRAGGED. It’s the longest match of the night at fifteen minutes almost and it felt like a lot more than that. The screwjob ending doesn’t help much either but not a lot is going to help this show at this point.
Time for old vs. new at Great American Bash 1997.
Tag Titles: Roddy Piper/Ric Flair vs. Outsiders
So that #1 contenders match last month really didn’t mean jack did it? Flair and Hall start things off and there’s a toothpick to the face. Flair gets punched down but comes back with chops to send Hall to the floor. Back in Flair is Flipped in the corner and runs the apron right into the big boot from Nash which gets two. Off to Big Kev who pounds him down and gets a side slam for two.
Hall adds in some cheating but the distraction lets Piper hit a low blow to bring in Piper. Piper hooks a quick sleeper on Hall but it’s easily broken and Hall crotches him on the top. With both guys down, Flair beats up Syxx on the floor. Flair fights him up the alley as Piper gets up. There’s no one to tag so it’s two on one. This was supposed to tease a Flair heel turn. Off to hall who pounds away and slaps Piper on the back of the head a lot. Roddy says bring it on but he gets Nash instead, resulting in a bunch of knees to the ribs. Big boot puts him down and it’s off to Hall for the Edge to retain.
Rating: D. There was a lot of laying around for a lot of the match and the ending was pretty stupid. Flair was supposed to turn heel but Piper bailed to Hollywood so the turn didn’t go anywhere. This was nothing of note and Flair going up the aisle with Syxx seemed pretty stupid for Flair to do. The ending was more or less a squash anyway.
We need more Horsemen. From Nitro on July 22, 1997.
Tag Titles: Outsiders vs. Ric Flair/Chris Benoit
I’m pretty sure this is a title match. Tony says it is, and while this is probably a bad idea, I’ll go with it. Pay no attention to the Steiners winning like 84 #1 contenders matches in a row prior to this. We start with a brawl and Flair vs. Hall get us going in the ring. The Horsemen stand tall (not as tall as the Outsiders but tall in the metaphorical sense) until we officially start with Benoit and Hall.
Scott tries to pound him down but Benoit hits a dragon screw leg whip and a northern lights suplex for two. Hall bails so it’s off to Nash for a try at the Canadian. Actually make that the Carolinian who is immediately shoved down by Big Kev. Nash does all of his usual stuff in the corner but Flair comes back with punches to the face. Syxx pops Flair in the back of the head, giving Nash two off a side slam.
Back to Hall for the fallaway slam for two more. Nash comes in for some more high quality choking and the running crotch attack while Flair is throat first across the middle rope. Hall hits a running clothesline in the corner to keep Flair in trouble. Nash hits a big over the shoulder Snake Eyes on Flair before it’s back to Hall. Flair grabs a sleeper out of nowhere but Hall reverses into one of his own, only to have Flair quickly suplex out of it.
There’s the hot tag to Benoit who cleans house on both Outsiders. Clotheslines put both guys down and Flair stops Syxx from breaking up the Swan Dive. The headbutt gets two on Hall until Nash makes the save. Benoit punches out of the Jackknife but a Hall distraction lets Nash hit the big boot for a pin out of nowhere.
Rating: C+. I remember this match being a lot better. The ending seemed very rushed and likely happened because they were out of time. If you gave this match another five to seven minutes, it could go way up in quality. Benoit getting a chance to shine is always a good thing, as he was really starting to come into his own at this point. Not a bad match but nothing great either.
Another title defense from Nitro on September 15, 1997.
Tag Titles: Outsiders vs. Wrath/Mortis
Hall and Mortis start things off with the Outsiders making fun of how over the top the challengers are. Scott cranks on the arm before pounding away but Mortis comes back with a big kick. He then spits on Hall’s body, despite wearing am ask meaning the spit would go nowhere. Hall comes right back with the fallaway slam and it’s off to Wrath vs. Nash.
Big Kev pounds him into the corner but Wrath throws him into the opposite corner and beats the TAR out of Nash, including getting two off a bicycle kick. Off to Mortis for a Russian legsweep and a middle rope legdrop for two each. A Syxx distraction lets Nash get in the big boot to both guys. The Jackknife ends Mortis.
Rating: C+. WAY better than I was expecting here, which is what I’ve wound up saying about every Mortis/Wrath match I’ve seen so far. Wrath had potential if he never had to talk, but since it was WCW he wound up being fed to people like Nash and Rick Steiner for the sake of making the old guys look good. The fans were getting into this when the Outsiders were in trouble. Naturally Hall and Nash wouldn’t be beaten for the titles until January.
After losing the belts to the Steiners, the NWO created their own titles and held a unification match on Nitro, January 12, 1998.
Tag Titles: Outsiders vs. Steiner Brothers
This is billed as a unification match but the NWO Tag Titles were never official, meaning the Steiners are the only champions coming in. As a side note: why are there so many people named Scott in this company? Scott Norton, Scott Steiner, Scott Hall, Scotty Riggs, and they’re always in tag matches against each other around this time. Hogan comes out with the Outsiders. The fans seem to be on WCW’s side in the survey.
The Scotts start things off as we hear that Flair has been fined for the attack on Neidhart a few moments ago. Scott Steiner throws Hall’s toothpick back at him and shoves Hall down with pure power. Hall drives some shoulders into the other Scott but gets shoved into the Steiner corner and ping ponged back and forth with right hands. Hall gets powerbombed down and Nash is caught in a double suplex to send the challengers retreating. Randy Savage is at ringside as well.
The fans want Sting but get an an intense talk between Savage and Hogan instead. Back in and it’s Rick vs. Hall with both guys pounding away in the corner. Off to Nash for the first time to drive knees into Rick’s ribs. Rick gets a boot up in the corner and a middle rope clothesline gets two. Back to Scott Steiner who gets clotheslined down before it’s back to Hall. A chokeslam puts Scott Steiner down but he comes back with a quick belly to belly suplex for two on Hall.
Back to Rick who cranks on a leg lock before shifting to a half crab. Hall fights up and brings Nash back in, only to have him caught in a leg crank of his own. Nash comes right back for Snake Eyes (not bad a mere three weeks after missing the biggest show of the year because of a knee injury) but Rick slips down his back. Rick loads up the Steiner Bulldog but Hogan crotches him before Rick can jump. Scott Steiner goes after Hogan as Hall hits the fallaway slam for two on Rick.
Things settle down and Nash gets two off the side slam. Rick fights back against Hall but Nash knees him in the back. Scott Steiner argues with the referee and Rick bumps into said referee as everything breaks down. Nash covers Rick but Savage goes up for the elbow on Kevin, but the big man moves and the elbow hits Rick, giving the Outsiders the pin and the titles back.
Rating: C. The match was decent enough, likely due to these teams fighting each other so many times over the years. With all the NWO big shots at ringside it was hard to imagine the Outsiders not taking the belts back but it’s nice to see Hogan slumming it with the tag titles. The fans make a good point though: where was Sting? Their big hero and savior can’t even come out for a save here or at least come out an even the odds a bit?
One more time against Rick and Scott at SuperBrawl VIII.
Tag Titles: Outsiders vs. Steiner Brothers
The Brothers are defending in match #847 of this feud. The NWO easily wins the survey tonight. Hall starts against Rick with the latter firing off Steiner Lines and right hands. An overhead belly to belly puts him down and Nash is knocked to the floor as well. Scott Steiner comes in for the signature pose….and turns on his brother, FINALLY joining the NWO. Dusty sends DiBiase into the post but Hall only gets two on Rick. Rick fights out of the Outsiders’ corner and doesn’t seem to know what his brother did. The Outsider’s Edge his a few seconds later to change the titles.
Rating: N/A. This was an angle instead of a match. It had been a full six days since someone joined the NWO so you can’t blame them for needing a turn here. This had been building for a long time but it still felt shocking, especially given how early in the match it was. It was probably for the best too as the Steiners were long past their expiration date as a team.
After a few more matches, the team would be apart for a long time, not hooking up again until November 30, 1998 on Nitro.
Horace Hogan/Scott Steiner vs. Outsiders
The Outsiders do the Rock Paper Scissors to determine who starts against Horace. The NWO referee is in there as well. Hall nails the driving shoulders and puts on an armbar, only to walk into a hard clothesline. A hiptoss is countered into a chokeslam from Hall but it’s off to Scott Steiner. It’s Steiner with a muscle clothesline and a fast count is good for two. A butterfly suplex gets the same for Steiner on the other Scott but Steiner charges into a boot in the corner.
The middle rope bulldog gets two for Hall but the referee counts VERY slowly. Steiner comes back with a low blow but Nash saves Hall from some Horace choking. Back in and Horace stomps away and gets two off a backbreaker and splash. We hit the front facelock for a bit until Hall fights up and makes the tag to Nash. The NWO referee doesn’t count it but Nash comes in anyway and cleans house until Hall hits the Edge on Horace. No count of course so Nash Jackknifes the referee and a WCW referee comes in for the pin. Nash walks out as soon as the pin goes down.
Rating: D+. Another angle instead of a match here and Nash running off was interesting. I’m not sure where Steiner went after the hot tag but it fits the idea of the NWO wanting to run away from a real fight. The fans were really excited about the idea of the Outsiders being back together again, which is why I doubt it’s going to keep happening.
Time to kill off a marketing gold mine at SuperBrawl IX.
Kevin Nash/??? vs. Konnan/Rey Mysterio Jr.
This is Rey’s mask vs. Liz’s hair due to Lex Luger bullying Rey. Nash’s mystery partner is….Scott Hall. Liz is looking great here in a short skirt, tight low cut red top to show off the surgery and thigh high boots. Luger is seconding the Outsiders. Heenan rants about how stupid he thinks Mysterio’s mask in the most heelish thing he’s said in a long time. I know Heenan is mean most of the time but it’s usually more sly than flat out mean.
Hall throws the toothpick at Mysterio so Rey throws it right back. Rey gets thrown down twice in a row but he comes back with a quick armdrag. A springboard seated senton (called a Thesz Press by Schiavone) drops Hall and Rey nails Nash with a forearm for good measure. He dives too many times though and gets caught in a fall away slam. Nash comes in and throws Rey down by the throat as Heenan keeps ripping into Mysterio about the mask.
Back to Hall for some clotheslines and you can clearly see a purple and yellow Razor Ramon elbow pad sticking out from under the Wolfpack pad. Rey escapes the Outsider’s Edge and tags in Konnan who hammers away until Nash gets in a cheap shot from the apron. There’s the big boot choke in the corner before it’s back to Hall as Rey plays cheerleader on the apron. Konnan fights back but a double clothesline puts he and Hall down. Liz and Luger seem to be plotting something on the floor.
Rey gets the tag and dropkicks both Outsiders before using Nash’s back as a launching pad to dropkick Hall a second time. Everything breaks down and the fans are getting back into it. Luger pulls Konnan to the floor and sends him into the steps as Rey hits a moonsault press on Nash, nailing him in the head with his knee to knock Kevin silly. Liz distracts the referee though, allowing Hall to give Rey the Edge and put Nash on top for the pin.
Rating: D. This wasn’t as long as the previous match but the ending is just as stupid. As soon as you knew Liz’s hair would be on the line you knew the NWO would win, but WCW’s stupidity continues as they think Rey is better without his mask. Heaven forbid you sell the thing and make a bunch of money off of it or something like that. Also the name King of Mystery doesn’t have quite the same meaning now. This is another match that didn’t need to happen and whose only purpose seems to be to disappoint the fans.
It would be awhile before the team hooked up again but when they did they had a shot at the Tag Team Titles. From Nitro on December 13, 1999.
Tag Team Titles: Goldberg/Bret Hart vs. Outsiders
Before the match we go to the back and see Hart (World Champion) injured in his dressing room with Goldberg checking on him. Goldberg comes out holding both belts and is ready to go it alone. He easily knocks both guys to the floor and tells Hall to bring it on. Scott comes back in and gets caught in a wristlock so Goldberg can mess with his hair. A suplex gets two on Hall and it’s off to Nash who gets taken down by a flying shoulder block.
Hall’s distraction lets Nash get in a big boot and the challengers take over. Hall hammers away in the corner and a double stomp has Goldberg in trouble. Things settle down again with Hall raking the eyes and nailing a chokeslam as Bret staggers out. He hammers on both Outsiders and gets Nash in the Sharpshooter but Hall makes a fast save. Goldberg gets back up and spears Hall in half. We miss Bret getting taken down with a shot to the knee and see Nash covering him for the pin and the titles.
Rating: D+. This was an angle to set up Starrcade more than anything else but I’m glad they didn’t have the belts as we go into the PPV on Sunday. There’s nothing here but oddly enough neither guy turned on the other. The Outsiders wouldn’t hold the belts long and that’s probably better for everyone involved.
Hall and Nash would wind up in the WWF in early 2002 and teamed with Hogan on Raw, March 11, 2002.
New World Order vs. Steve Austin/The Rock
This is the first time the NWO has ever competed together in the WWF. Rock and Hall start things off but a Hogan distraction lets Hall take over. This is a handicap match if that didn’t come through. Rock comes back and Hogan bails from the apron in fear. A clothesline gets two for Hall and it’s off to Nash. Rock pounds away but a sidewalk slam gets two for Nash. Snake Eyes puts Rock down and it’s off to Hogan.
Hogan pounds on Rock a bit and suplexes him down before Hall and Nash work Rock over a bit. There’s the hot tag to Austin who cleans house. Nash somehow botches a Thesz Press from Austin so Austin hits a spinebuster on Hall instead. Nash can’t even hit Austin in the head right so Austin clotheslines the Outsiders down. A big boot, the only move even Nash can’t screw up, takes Austin down and it’s back to Hall.
The fallaway slam gets two for Scott and it’s back to Nash. Kevin pounds on Austin in the corner and it’s back to Hall. A clothesline puts Austin down for two and now for the only time that I can EVER remember, it’s Hogan vs. Austin. Hogan pounds away with some punches and a chokeslam before tagging out to Hall. It only lasts 25 seconds, but that actually felt special. Hall chokeslams Austin down but the Razor’s Edge is broken up by a backdrop.
Austin’s comeback is stopped AGAIN by a clothesline but he takes Hall right back down. Hot tag brings in Rock vs. Nash and Rock cleans house….for about 20 seconds before Nash takes him down again. This feels like WCW all over again. Off to Hogan to clean up the Rock scraps, but Rock nips up to terrify Hulk. Nash of course stops the momentum and everything breaks down. In a REALLY anti-climactic ending, Hogan punches Rock, hits the boot and legdrop and gets the pin.
Rating: D+. Huge historical moment aside, this was a really odd match. It was basically a squash with the NWO never really breaking a sweat against two of the biggest stars of all time. Nash looked like he had never been in a ring before and the whole thing looked awful. Then again, this had Steve Austin vs. Hulk Hogan in a legal match so it gets an automatic pass.
And again on Raw, March 18, 2002.
The Rock/Hulk Hogan vs. Outsiders
Hogan’s entrance is already going when we get back from a break and the Outsiders are in the ring. Good to know that’s not important enough to make Stephanie quit whining. The brawl is on quick until we start with Hogan vs. Hall. Hulk hits his punches in the corner and rakes the back before Hall gets caught between the right hands from the superheroes. Off to Rock for the spinebuster but Nash breaks up the People’s Elbow.
Nash comes in legally with the side slam before ramming knees in the corner. Hall comes back in and stops Rock’s comeback with the fallaway slam for two. The Outsiders take turns stomping on Rock but Rock escapes Nash’s Snake Eyes and hits the Rock Bottom for no cover. The hot tag brings in Hogan to clean house as everything breaks down. Hogan drops the leg despite coming from the wrong direction but Hall rolls to the floor for the countout.
Rating: D+. This was energetic while it lasted but they didn’t have time to go anywhere. Also there was no way this was going to be about the wrestling and there’s nothing wrong with that on a show like this. It was entertaining and a fun match to see happen and that’s all you need sometimes.
It was off to TNA after this with one of their few matches together taking place at Turning Point 2004.
We’ll have to jump way ahead again to their final run together in TNA, starting at Lockdown 2010.
Team 3D vs. The Band
It’s Hall and Nash in case you missed it. And it’s not a cage match anymore but a St. Louis Street Fight where falls count anywhere in the building. Uh, sure why not. This actually is a major match given the teams in it so points for that. They start on the ramp and the Outsider’s Edge is blocked.
We’re in the crowd already. 3D said no one came to see a match but rather a fight. That makes sense at least. If the Waltman no-showing thing is legit, good riddance. The crowd is definitely making this show much better. We’re back in the ring now with D-Von all by himself. What’s Up hits on Hall. 3D through the table ends this. This was almost a squash match. Well I didn’t expect that one at all.
Rating: C+. Pretty decent brawl here. I was really surprised at the ending though as Hall just took 3D and got pinned. It looks like they’re pushing 3D towards the tag titles again which is the epitome of a head scratcher but whatever. Decent enough match since I like 3D so there you are.
And one final time at Sacrifice 2010.
Tag Titles: The Band vs. Ink Inc.
Since Morgan isn’t champion anymore, there’s more or less no build here. Why would you need one of those? Ink Inc. CLEARLY is enough drawing power to not need an angle or a feud or anything pesky like that. Oh and clearly THESE TWO are the second best team in the company. Hall and Moore start us off. Wow I can’t stand these challengers.
Tenay and Taz continue their brilliance by pointing out that they number one contenders have had one match which they had after being named number one contenders. Brilliant guys. The Outsiders use all of their old favorites and it’s just not that interesting. I love Hall just standing there watching his partner getting the heck beaten out of him.
Down goes the referee as the spear misses. Young, armed with a kendo stick is here. Neal gets a spear on Nash though. That’s a bit surprising. Bubba comes out and yells at Nash before popping Neal with the stick. Oh here we go again. Young pulls Nash on top for the cover and the pin.
Rating: D. Seriously? THIS is the best tag title match they could come up with? That makes my head hurt. Just not an interesting match at all and boring to top that off. Horrible and likely worst of the night so far. It’s the last time the Outsiders have wrestled together on a major show as of October 2014 and that’s a good thing given how this went.
The Outsiders are a team that is much more important for its impact than their wrestling matches and there’s nothing wrong with that. They dominated the WCW Tag Team Titles for several years and no one other than maybe the Steiners early in the 90s came close. Their matches were watchable most of the time and for a team who was as high profile as they were, that’s all they needed to be.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Today is someone who stayed around for the better part of ever: the Barbarian.
Barbarian has an interesting backstory as he was one of a group of teenagers sent to study sumo wrestling by the King of Tonga. This evolved into his professional career, starting in 1980. We’ll pick things up at Starrcade 1985 with the aftermath of an arm wrestling challenge.
Barbarian vs. Billy Graham
Barbarian rips at Graham’s face and chokes away like any good monster villain would do. He even bites Billy’s forehead but doesn’t bust him open here. We get a very early bearhug from Barbarian and he slams Billy down, only to miss his top rope headbutt. Graham stomps away and puts on his own bearhug but Jones comes in and breaks it up for the DQ.
Rating: D. Was there a point to this? It was barely long enough to rate and the majority of the match was spent in those bearhugs. Graham would be back in the WWF sooner than later and Barbarian would continue to be this same character for about twelve more years. Nothing to see here.
Here’s a fairly random tag match from Starrcade 1986.
Hector Guerrero/Baron Von Raschke vs. Shaska Whatley/Barbarian
Whatley and Barbarian are members of Paul Jones’ Army while Guerrero and Raschke are kind of an oddball tag team. It’s a big brawl to start with the Baron pairing off with Whatley as Hector sends Barbarian out to the floor. Hector and Shaska start things off with Guerrero hitting some fast paced offense for early control. It’s off to Barbarian though to drop Hector throat first across the top rope, stopping his momentum cold.
Barbarian misses a running boot into the corner though and falls to the floor, allowing Hector to hit a BIG dive, taking out both Barbarian and Baron. That was a very big deal back then and still looks good even today. Whatley comes out to beat on Hector before throwing him inside for a gorilla press slam by Barbarian. A double backdrop puts Hector down for two and Whatley breaks up a potential hot tag to Baron.
Back to Barbarian for another near fall off a big boot followed by a backbreaker. Whatley sends him into the ropes and Hector spits right in his face, which is somehow enough for the hot tag off to the Baron. Raschke puts his Claw Hold on Shaska as everything breaks down. Barbarian breaks up the hold but gets pummeled in the corner by Hector. In the melee, Shaska misses a charge into the corner and Baron drops an elbow for the pin.
Rating: C. Just a basic tag match here which was fine for the most part. There was talk of a grudge coming in but there was not actual explanation given of what the feud was over or how everyone was involved. Baron seemed much more angry than Hector but that’s normal for the both of them. Nothing bad here but it’s just a tag match.
We’ll move into a more familiar era now with Barbarian in his best known phase: half of the Powers of Pain with the Warlord. Since they were pretty much a Road Warriors knockoff, here they are against the Road Warriors in a six man at the first Clash of the Champions.
Road Warriors/Dusty Rhodes vs. Powers of Pain/Ivan Koloff
Koloff and the Powers of Pain are the Six Man Tag Team Champions but the titles aren’t on the line here. This is a barbed wire street fight. Animal (teaming with his regular partner Hawk and Dusty) had his face injured by the Powers (Warlord and Barbarian) and Koloff while doing a weightlifting demonstration so tonight is about revenge. The barbed wire is around the ropes and while it’s not the at the level you might expect today, this was a BIG deal back in 1988.
The heels finally crawl under the ropes but Animal chases Warlord out to the floor to send him into the post. Most of the guys stay clear of the barbed wire and fight in the middle of the ring. Ivan and Dusty send each other into the wire and draw blood but Dusty comes back with right hands to Warlord and a big DDT to Barbarian. Hawk comes off the top with a right hand that mostly misses Warlord before Dusty kicks Barbarian to the floor. Animal powerslams Warlord and Barbarian’s top rope headbutt hits his partner by mistake, giving Animal the pin and revenge.
Rating: D+. The match wasn’t much to see but the barbed wire was a nice touch, even though it wasn’t used all that much. It probably is better that they kept this match short and energetic as none of the six guys were known for their stamina. The Powers of Pain would jump to the WWF less than two months later so this was the blowoff to the feud.
Off to the WWF now with the Powers of Pain actually as faces, starting at Summerslam 1988.
Powers of Pain vs. Bolsheviks
The Powers (Barbarian and Warlord) are still faces here and have the Baron (Von Raschke) with them. Just like in the previous two matches the brawl is on as soon as the good guys hit the ring. The Powers double clothesline Boris Zhukov as Volkoff tries to sneak in for a cheap shot. Barbarian easily catches him coming in and sends him flying until we get down to Barbarian vs. Boris to start things off.
Boris puts his head down and…..something happens (it looked like a choke but it’s not really clear) before it’s off to Warlord for a gutwrench suplex on Zhukov. Both Russians double team Warlord but they can’t even get him down to his knees. Nikolai chokes away before Boris puts on a chinlock. The Russians have a double backdrop broken up and it’s off to Barbarian again. Everything breaks down and it’s a double shoulder followed by a swan dive to Boris for the pin.
Rating: D. Another lame match here but the Powers looked decent. The Baron would be gone in a few weeks as the company wasn’t pleased that a dark character was getting cheered, so they turned Demolition and their evil S&M looking gear face instead. Also did the Russians ever actually win a major match?
The face run didn’t last long and it was off to feuding with Demolition, including a match for the Tag Team Titles at Wrestlemania V.
Tag Titles: Demolition vs. Powers of Pain/Mr. Fuji
Demolition is defending and this is a handicap match. Warlord and Ax get things going with Ax pounding him down quickly. Smash comes in for a double beatdown and it’s off to a neck crank. Back to Ax for the same move and he yells at Fuji a bit. The Demolition beatdown ensues but Warlord powers Ax over to the corner for a tag to Barbarian. He shoves Smash into the corner and is immediately clotheslined down by a fresh Ax. The crowd is dead here.
Barbie gets double teamed by the champions and Ax hooks a neck crank. Back to Smash who gets chopped down before it’s back to Warlord. The advantage lasts for all of three seconds before the Powers finally get some successful cheating going on. Off to Fuji for the first time for some old man offense that is far better than Heenan or Hart at least. Barbarian comes in again and the yet to be named Kick of Fear puts Ax down again for no cover.
The match continues to stay in second gear at best with both teams barely moving at all. Fuji tries the flashiest move of the match by going up top, only to miss Ax. Gorilla: “He hasn’t wrestled in years, just like us.” Jesse: “Us? For Fuji and I it’s been years. For you many years.” Barbarian gets clotheslined down again and it’s off to Smash as everything breaks down. Fuji loads up his salt but hits Warlord by mistake. The Demolition Decapitator is enough to end Fuji and retain the titles.
Rating: D. I’m a fan of Demolition but this was a REALLY weak performance by both teams. The Powers would split soon after this which was the best idea for both guys as they were never going to break through the ceiling with Demolition on top. The title reign would continue to go on for another two months or so, reaching at nearly a year and a half.
Time for the required Survivor Series match in 1989.
Hulkamaniacs vs. Million Dollar Team
Hulk Hogan, Demolition, Jake Roberts
Ted DiBiase, Zeus, Powers of Pain
My goodness that’s an amazing face team. Ok, so now I get to explain Zeus. A month or two ago, WWE released No Holds Barred, a movie Hogan made in the late 80s, on DVD. The villain in the movie is named Zeus and you may notice he’s here. Zeus is played by an actor (not a wrestler mind you) named Tom Lister and the idea is that he’s living his character and is coming to beat Hogan up “in real life” because he lost in the movie. This would be like the guy who played Goldfinger trying to get revenge on Sean Connery. To make things even better, this was originally going to be the main event of Wrestlemania 6.
I’m sure you can see the problems mounting up already, with the main one being that Zeus doesn’t know how to wrestle. Other than that, there’s the idea that the movie barely broke even so a lot of people didn’t get the idea of the story. A positive twist to this is that a lot of people didn’t get the idea of the story, which probably kept the company from being laughed at more than they already were. Zeus wrestled like four matches ever, most of which were short or tag matches so he wasn’t in the ring long. WCW, the geniuses that they are, brought him back seven years later and put him in the main event of another PPV.
Anyway back to the match. The Million Dollar Team won’t let them get inside until Jake fires in the snake to chase them all away. Hogan and Demolition are the champions that you would expect them to be at this point. Zeus wants to fight Hogan one on one but their respective partners hold them both back. Jake starts with Zeus but the actor wants Hogan. They stare each other down and Hogan bounces off Zeus. Hogan pounds away but nothing hurts Zeus at all.
Instead Hulk finds the one weak spot on Zeus by raking the eyes. He slams Zeus down and amazingly enough, IT DOESN’T REALLY DO MUCH. Barbarian hits Hogan in the back of the head and Zeus twists Hogan’s neck around. He starts choking away and it’s a DQ for Zeus who is only pulled off by DiBiase and the promise of money. Just to clarify, we’re giving the Hulkamaniacs, an 80s dream team, a man advantage. Also why would DiBiase get Zeus off Hogan? Wouldn’t Hogan’s pain and agony make DiBiase happy?
It’s DiBiase vs. Hogan now and Hulk is in big trouble. DiBiase hammers away in the corner but Hulk gets a boot up in the corner and there’s the tag to Jake. A clothesline puts DiBiase on the floor and it’s off to Ax who demolishes DiBiase with ease. Smash comes in and they both pound Ted down. Back to Hogan who triple teams DiBiase along with Demolition. Back to Ax with a clothesline but DiBiase elbows him down out of desperation.
Off to Warlord as these two teams are still feuding even a year later. Come to think of it there wasn’t much else in between for those guys either. Dang did the division fall that fast in just a year? A shoulder breaker puts Ax down but Barbarian misses a middle rope elbow. Off to Warlord again but he gets clotheslined down. Fuji trips Ax up and a basic elbow drop is enough to tie the score.
It’s Smash vs. Warlord now but it’s quickly off to Hogan. Hulk softens him up to bring in Jake, which Jesse calls a mismatch. That’s likely based on power but I’m pretty sure Jake is taller than Warlord. Off to Smash but Warlord pokes him in the eye to take over. Back to Barbarian whose big boot is caught but Smash misses the elbow. DiBiase comes back in with those falling punches of his which get two.
It’s chinlock time with a knee in Smash’s back. DiBiase misses a middle rope back elbow of all things but Smash won’t tag for some reason. Barbarian makes a blind tag so the hot shot Smash hits on DiBiase doesn’t count and Barbarian takes his head off with a top rope clothesline for the pin. Jake comes in next but he can’t DDT Barbarian. Barbie whips Jake into the corner with authority although I’m not sure who’s authority it was.
Back to Warlord as things slow down a lot due to exhaustion. Jake dives for a tag but DiBiase slaps Hogan to draw him in instead. DiBiase piledrives Jake but Roberts gets a foot on the ropes to Jesse’s annoyance. Barbarian misses a headbutt and there’s the hot tag to Barbarian. He cleans house and gets two on Barbarian off a big boot. A suplex gets the same and my goodness how rare is it to see Hogan get a two count? Hogan fights off both Powers of Pain but they catch him in a spike piledriver which is good for a DQ for both of them, making it Hogan/Roberts vs. DiBiase.
Dibiase drops knees on Hogan before slapping on the Million Dollar Dream. That eventually gets two arm drops and Jake makes the save. That’s actually a nice touch as it makes the hold look stronger by needing a save instead of Hogan saving himself. Hogan finally breaks the hold and punches a jumping DiBiase. Hot tag brings in the Snake who cleans house. Jake drives in knees on DiBiase’s head as Hogan is dying in the corner.
Here’s Virgil to interfere and take the DDT. DiBiase drops a fist on Jake and puts his feet on the ropes to steal the pin. Ted pounds on Hogan who is still reeling from the long Million Dollar Dream. I’ll give him credit as that’s some great selling of a hold like that. Off to a chinlock and Hogan taps, which wouldn’t mean a thing for years. Hogan breaks the hold but they clothesline each other. DiBiase belly to back suplexes him and it’s Hulk Up time. You know the rest and there’s the legdrop.
Rating: C. There’s one major problem with this match: the first four minutes of this match give away the ending almost immediately. How can you give Hogan, Roberts and Demolitio a man advantage that fast? I’m not saying Hogan should have lost, but the Zeus stuff could have come later in the match and worked much better. Have Zeus stand on the apron most of the match and it would have worked fine. The fans finally reacted though.
Time for a singles run, starting at Wrestlemania VI.
The Barbarian vs. Tito Santana
This is Bobby Heenan’s debut as Barbarian’s manager. Barbarian takes him into the corner to start but Tito comes back with punches to send Barbie to the floor. Back in and a big hip toss puts Tito down but Santana comes back with right hands to the head for two. They run the ropes and Barbarian kicks Santana’s head off to take over. When all else fails, kick the other guy in the face.
Barbarian misses a middle rope elbow but Tito can’t take him down with a dropkick. The flying forearm takes Barbarian down but Heenan puts his foot on the rope. Barbarian slugs him down and goes up top for a BIG clothesline off the top (and a SWEET bump from Tito) for the pin.
Rating: C-. The shot at the end makes up for most of the match sucking. Tito looked like he was dead out there and the flip backwards made it look even better. This was just a way to set up Barbarian as a singles guy which went absolutely nowhere. The guy stayed employed over the years if nothing else though so he’s got something up on a lot of people. Tito was officially a jobber to the stars at this point.
The singles run didn’t work out so well and it was back to another tag team. Here are Barbarian and Haku in the opener of Wrestlemania VII. I’ve always really liked this match.
Haku/Barbarian vs. Rockers
Shawn and Haku get us going with Michaels trying to speed things up, only to be slammed into the corner. The second attempt at flying around works a bit better as a dropkick puts Haku down. The Rockers do some of their double teaming stuff but Barbie takes them down with a big double clothesline. Shawn and Marty double superkick him down though and the Heenan Family has to regroup a bit.
We get down to Marty vs. Barbarian again and speed takes over one more time. A sunset flip doesn’t work for Jannetty but Barbarian punches the mat. A rana takes Barbarian down and Marty pounds away for two. Off to Haku and a double headbutt puts Marty down again. Jannetty loads up another rana but the foreigners hit a double hot shot onto the top rope to really take over this time.
A gorilla press plants Jannetty and it’s time for more heel double teaming. Marty comes back with something like a cross body for two but the speed continues to get beaten down. By speed I mean the drug of the day for Jannetty of course. Back to Barbarian for a bearhug followed by a powerslam so wicked that the fans pop for it. The falling headbutt misses though and it’s hot tag time to Shawn. Things really do speed up now but Shawn gets kicked in the face to slow him down. That goes nowhere for the villains though and it’s a Michaels cross body off the top for the pin on Haku.
Rating: B. Just a fast paced tag team match here with power vs. speed. This is one of those formulas that works no matter how many times you do it as long as you have talented guys in there. The future Faces of Fear were fine as monsters for the Rockers to conquer and it set a good pace for the show here. Solid opening match.
Back to WCW as a tag guy, starting at Clash of the Champions XX.
Barbarian/Butch Reed vs. Dustin Rhodes/Barry Windham
Barbarian and Reed are both associates of Cactus who is on commentary. Rhodes drops to the mat so Barry can run over Barbarian before double dropkicks send the heels to the floor. Things settle down with Barry getting two on Barbarian via a rollup before it’s off to Reed vs. Dustin. Butch runs into a boot in the corner but avoids a charge, sending Rhodes out to the floor.
Barbarian and Reed drop Dustin with a double back elbow and Barbarian hammers away a bit more. Reed gets two off a powerslam and pounds right hands into Dustin’s head. Dustin gets rammed back first into the buckle and a knee to the ribs is good for two. We hit the reverse chinlock for a bit but Rhodes fights up with an elbow to the jaw.
A double clothesline puts both guys down and Dustin makes the tag to Windham. Reed comes in as well but gets taken dropped with a running clothesline. The superplex drops Barbarian and a double dropkick sends Reed outside, but Barbarian gets back up and kicks Barry’s head off for the pin.
Rating: C. Nice little tag match here with both teams getting to look good in the process. Windham and Rhodes weren’t a bad team at all and the monsters worked well against them. Reed and Barbarian almost had to get the win here to set up Reed vs. Simmons, which makes Barry and Dustin a curious selection for opponents.
Now we get to one of the biggest overpushes I can ever remember with Barbarian getting a World Title shot at Halloween Havoc 1992.
WCW World Title: Barbarian vs. Ron Simmons
Yeah it’s THAT Barbarian. See, for some reason WCW decided that the big names should go after the NWA Title while the WCW Title was treated like a midcard title. Simmons has a HUGE entourage bringing him to the ring. Barbarian is a Jack surrogate as Cactus is injured. They stare each other down forever and feel each other out before Barbarian pounds him down in the corner. Simmons comes back and Barbarian bails to the floor.
Barbarian gets a Stunner over the top rope to take over again and sends Ron to the floor. No one cares about this match at all and I can almost guarantee they’re not going to get the fans to care based on how good (and I use that word loosely) the match will be. Barbarian rams him into the post and then into the railing as this is already dragging less than five minutes in.
Back in and Ron hits the absolute worst sunset flip of all time for two. Barbie hooks a LONG cobra clutch which looks more like an armpit claw but whatever. A top rope elbow misses and Simmons gets a chance to breathe. They slug it out but Simmons channels the power of football to hit a bad spinebuster for two. Simmons misses a clothesline but Barbarian sells it anyway.
There’s a three point shoulder block but Jack has the referee. Barbarian kicks him in the back of the head and sends him to the floor as a result. Back in and Simmons is nice enough to roll three feet to the left so that the top rope headbutt can hit. Once that gets two, Barbarian’s chances are done. Simmons grabs a powerslam out of nowhere for the pin to retain.
Rating: F. The Barbarian just co-main evented a show. This was treated like a worthless match and to be fair, there was good reason to do that. It came off like a bad main event of a C level TV show, which goes a long way to explain the troubles this company was having around this time. Just awful here.
This didn’t lead anywhere so it was back to the WWF as a new Headshrinker named Sione. Here he is at Survivor Series 1994.
Teamsters vs. Bad Guys
Diesel, Shawn Michaels, Owen Hart, Jim Neidhart, Jeff Jarrett
Razor Ramon, 1-2-3 Kid, British Bulldog, Headshrinkers
Diesel and Shawn are tag champions but they’ve having issues. Owen and Neidhart are a semi-regular tag team. This version of the Headshrinkers is Fatu and Sione, more famous as Rikishi and the Barbarian. Razor is IC Champion. I didn’t know that for sure but it’s the mid 90s so I took a shot in the dark. Shawn keeps slipping in front of Diesel to steal the spotlight. That’ll become important later.
It takes awhile to decide who starts before we get Kid vs. Owen. This should be good. The fans chant 1-2-3 which sounds something like RVD. Before there’s any contact it’s off to Neidhart which won’t be as interesting. Neidhart hits a shoulder block to start but gets dropkicked down. Another shoulder gives the Anvil control though and it’s off to Jarrett. Things speed up a bit and Jarrett loses the advantage Neidhart got him.
Off to Sione, who is someone I’ve talked about before but I’ll do it again here. This guy continuously had work for nearly fifteen years, which is impressive when you consider how basic the main character he played was. The guy was always around though other than in the dying days of WCW. Anyway here he gets dropkicked in the back but powers out of the cover with ease.
Off to Owen who wants the Bulldog. Davey comes in to a big ovation and they trade insane counters to wristlocks. Owen gets catapulted into the good guy corner, which is actually the Bad Guy corner, but the Bad Guys are the good guys in the match if that makes sense. Bulldog gets kicked in the face by Hart and it’s off to Neidhart for a double clothesline. Then Bulldog hits a double clothesline on Hart and Anvil, followed by the delayed vertical on Neidhart.
Fatu hits a top rope headbutt for no cover. Instead he tries to take his own boot off because he’s used to wrestling barefoot. Jarrett comes in and is immediately powerslammed before it’s off to Razor. Jeff immediately bails and it’s Razor vs….Jarrett still. Double J takes Razor to the mat and MESSES WITH HIS HAIR! Oh he’s so EVIL! A big right hand by Razor staggers Jeff and a clothesline puts him on the floor. This is a very hot crowd so far.
Back in and Jarrett escapes an atomic drop and punches Razor in the face to get himself in even more trouble. Off to the Kid who Razor gives a fall away slam to send him straight into Jeff in a cool move. Jeff hooks an abdominal stretch with some cheating from Shawn. That eventually gets caught and the Kid hooks a stretch of his own which doesn’t last long. Off to Fatu vs. Owen but all of the Canadian offense results in Samoan dancing.
A blind tag is made to Diesel and it’s a clothesline and a Jackknife to take out Fatu. Kid runs in and hits a dropkick but a top rope sunset flip is easily countered into a chokebomb. Jackknife finishes Kid a second later. Here’s Sione to pound away but he can only stagger the big man. ANOTHER Jackknife makes it 5-2. Diesel put out three guys in 70 seconds. Bulldog comes in and pounds away but a big boot puts Smith on the floor where he brawls with Owen to a countout.
So it’s Ramon vs. all five guys and he starts with Diesel. A discus punch puts Diesel down as does a middle rope bulldog. Diesel gets a clothesline in to take Razor down and Shawn screams for a Jackknife. The future Outsiders slug it out but Diesel drops him on the buckle in a snake eyes. Ramon comes back with a slam and calls for the Edge but Diesel easily backdrops him down. A big boot puts Razor down and there’s the Jackknife.
NOW Shawn wants in but he asks Diesel to hold Razor. Those of you paying attention should know what’s coming, and there it is as Shawn superkicks Diesel by mistake. Apparently this has happened a few times before and Diesel is MAD. Diesel destroys the rest of his team and stalks Shawn up the aisle. Ramon is the only one left in the ring and somehow the countout eliminates EVERYONE on the Teamsters to make Razor the sole survivor.
Rating: C. This was all angle and not much wrestling. This was the big face turn for Diesel which would result in the world title incredibly soon after this. It was a face turn that made sense too as he was tired of Shawn telling him what to do and getting hurt as a result, so he gave up and went after Shawn. Ticked off giants are very fun, so the first few months of Diesel Power were fun stuff. It was the other eight or nine months that stopped being fun.
It was back to WCW soon after this for a reunion with Haku, now known as Meng as the Faces of Fear. Here they are on Nitro, June 3, 1996.
The Faces of Fear were part of the Dungeon of Doom. Here they are as a unit on Nitro, September 2, 1996.
Four Horsemen vs. Dungeon of Doom
It’s the Faces of Fear, Big Bubba and Kevin Sullivan. Sullivan vs. Mongo to get us going. I’m not sure that’s the best combination but we’ll get to the better stuff soon. Mongo takes a double stomp to the chest and instead of hurting him, it fires him up. A shoulder block brings Bubba in and they’re on the floor already. Off to Benoit vs. Barbarian and Sullivan’s interference doesn’t work.
The cops are in the back for some reason. Here’s Flair to a huge pop. And let’s get away from the guy the fans want to see as we need to watch Sting and Luger chase Nick Patrick. Patrick runs towards the limo but turns away from it instead. Ted DiBiase is getting into the limo so Sting throws a brick through it, because every major sports arena has a pile of readily available bricks next to it. The limo drives off so Sting and Luger steal a cop car and chase after it. This is never going to be prosecuted is it?
Back to the ring and it’s Flair vs. Meng. Flair hits him low and the referee is cool with that. Bischoff actually mentions that Sting and Luger will be going to jail. We cut to the back and see the police guard calling in the stolen cop car. Yeah because THIS was necessary to see instead of the match right? Barbarian slams Anderson and drops an elbow so he can load Anderson into the Tree of Woe.
Anderson hammers on Bubba and counters a Meng piledriver. After a break Anderson falling into a tag to Benoit and things start to break down. We get to Sullivan vs. Benoit and I’d believe this is at least partially shoot. The Dungeon beats Benoit down and the Horsemen are busy thinking of ways to beat up Dusty Rhodes I guess because they don’t bother making the save. Flair breaks up a pin off a spinebuster and everything breaks down again.
They head to the floor and Flair grabs a chair as Bischoff plugs a Muhammad Ali documentary. Back inside and Bubba does the really stupid looking spot where you intentionally jump into the other guy’s boot. Off to Sullivan and Benoit who get to chop each other a lot. The Faces of Fear beat up the Canadian a bit but Benoit hits a cross body out of nowhere but gets double teamed again.
Things break down a little bit as Anderson plants Bubba with a spinebuster but Barbarian breaks up the tag. This has been going about 15 minutes already so it’s getting a lot of time and that’s including the time in the back. The Faces of Fear try a double top rope headbutt but Benoit rolls away and FINALLY gets the tag, bringing in Naitch. Everything breaks down for about the 5th time and Flair puts the Figure Four on Sullivan and Woman does….something to help Flair get the pin with the hold still on.
Rating: C+. Long match here as it went nearly 20 minutes. It’s a good example of how long doesn’t make it good though as this match is really just ok. Benoit and Sullivan kept trying to have this big brutal feud but it just went on forever with the same brawls and it stopped being good after about the first two. Anyway, not bad here but nothing more than that.
Time for a singles match on Nitro, August 18, 1997.
Barbarian vs. Mortis
This feud isn’t exactly lighting the world on fire but it’s nice to see a story getting to run its course. During Mortis’ entrance, we hear about Jericho winning the Cruiserweight Title on Saturday Night. Mortis kicks away to start and pounds Barbarian down into the corner. Barbie misses a charge into the post and Mortis hits a Fameasser off the middle rope for two. The guy not in a mask comes back with a powerslam and pounds Mortis down in the corner. Mortis goes up again but dives into a powerslam for another two count. The Kick of Fear ends Mortis a few seconds later. Wow Barbarian gets a clean win on Nitro. That’s different.
Time for the showdown that not many people were asking for on Nitro, February 16, 1998.
Meng vs. Barbarian
This is the brawl you would it expect it to be from the start with both guys on the mat pounding away. Back up and Barbarian charges into an elbow in the corner but Meng’s clubbering is countered by a whip into the corner. They pound on each other even more with Barbarian taking him into the corner and both guys shouting a lot. Headbutts have no effect on both guys but Meng staggers him with a big boot. Jimmy Hart breaks the wooden chair over Meng’s head to no effect so Meng puts him in the Deathgrip. Barbarian hits four straight Kicks of Fear to put Meng down for the pin.
Rating: C. This falls into the category of entertaining nonsense. Sometimes there’s nothing more fun than having two monsters beat the tar out of each other for a few minutes. Barbarian kicking Meng in the head over and over was a good idea to end the match and it made for entertaining TV. What more could you ask for from this pairing?
The team reunited and had a match on Nitro, January 25, 1999.
Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Faces of Fear vs. Fit Finlay/Dave Taylor
Lumberjack match with a lot of lower card guys plus Rey Mysterio Jr. surrounding the ring. Remember that it’s a double elimination tournament. Finlay and Barbarian start things off with Finlay nailing an uppercut and putting on an early nerve hold. Barbarian presses out of a cover and sends Finlay to the floor. That goes nowhere so Finlay comes back in for some more uppercuts.
Barbarian slams Finlay down and it’s off to Meng for some clubbering. Taylor gets the tag and the Europeans clothesline Meng down. Meng and Taylor chop it out with the monster getting the better of it and bringing Barbarian back in to pick the bones. After a beating from both monsters, Taylor is allowed to tag Finlay back in for a brawl with Meng. Finlay gets in a few shots to the ribs but makes the mistake of going after Meng’s head.
Fit is sent outside again for nothing from the lumberjacks as the crowd still has nothing to care about. The rolling fireman’s carry has Barbarian in trouble but Meng breaks up Taylor’s butterfly suplex. A double headbutt gets two on Taylor as everything breaks down. Meng backdrops Taylor into a sitout powerbomb from Barbarian (not as smooth as it sounds) gives the Faces of Fear the win.
Rating: D+. Not a horrible match but it was really dull stuff. That’s the problem with a lot of tournaments: you have to sit through matches like these with teams that people don’t care about and only limited chemistry to make the match work at all. It was watchable from a technical standpoint but nothing more than that.
After WCW went under, Barbarian went on a tour of Australia headlined by Dennis Rodman. Here he is at I-Generation Superstars of Wrestling, also known as Rodman Down Under.
Barbarian vs. Brute Force
Force is Brutus Beefcake and this is a hardcore match for no apparent reason. Brutus pulls Barbarian away from posing for a trashcan shot to start things off. Some broomstick choking has Barbarian down in the corner but a low blow stops Force’s force. Yeah I know that was bad but this show is dumbing me down and we’re not even half an hour into it. A headbutt low gets Barbarian yelled at for no reason but a trashcan to the head is fine. The announcers talk about a popcorn machine as Barbarian stomps him down in the corner. I could go for a hot snack to keep me awake too.
We head to the floor with Barbarian being rammed into the table and hit with the trashcan again. Barbarian fights from his back with trashcan lid shots but has to avoid a shot with the steps. Back in and Brutus is hit with a 2×4 and punched in the head a lot. Some choking with a chain does no good for Barbarian as Brutus comes back with an atomic drop and a low headbutt. A Stunner, a DDT and a piledriver get two each for Brutus but a single kick to the chest/ribs is good for the pin for Barbarian.
Rating: D-. This is a good example of the problem with gimmick matches: there’s no reason for this to be a hardcore match so it’s just two people hitting each other with trashcans for ten minutes. That doesn’t make for an interesting match but rather a boring waste of time until we get to a very stupid finish that made Barbarian of all people look tough instead of the hero.
Barbarian was never going to be named Wrestler of the Year or anything like that, but he had a gimmick that was always worth keeping around because you can always use a good savage monster. He kept getting work with basically the same character for years so there must have been something there. Barbarian was a character wrestler and a lot of the time that’s all you need to be.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Nitro #188 Date: May 17, 1999
Location: Five Seasons Center, Cedar Rapids, Iowa
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone
After taking last week off, we’re ready to get the fallout from Slamboree. I’m sure people have been on the edge of their seats to see if Nash has given the title back yet or to see the return of Eric Bischoff so we better not waste much time. The other major story coming out of the pay per view is Flair losing control to Piper and then being fired after a screwy ending. Let’s get to it.
We open with Flair and company arriving at the building. They head to the office and Robinson replaces Piper’s name with Flair’s.
Here are Flair and the entourage to the ring as I feel we have a theme going here. Anderson starts things off, saying the Horsemen will get the Tag Team Titles back tonight. Flair tells us what everyone knew at Slamboree: Bischoff had no authority to change the decision so Ric is still the boss. If Ted Turner doesn’t get Bischoff out, Flair is going to let Jane Fonda (Turner’s wife) ride Space Mountain.
As for tonight, it’s Flair/Robinson vs. Savage/Gorgeous George and Nash is defending against DDP. This brings out Page to endorse Flair as President and accuse Nash of having Bischoff in his pocket. That’s a pretty empty pocket if you listen to what Flair just said. Page says he has his own backup (fans: “GOLDBERG! GOLDBERG!”): Bam Bam Bigelow. We’re having a new champion tonight because Flair says so.
DJ Ran.
We get a sitdown interview with Bischoff, who talks about WCW being #1 for 88 straight weeks. Now things are more competitive though so he needs to get back on track. He’s learned from his mistakes and won’t make them again.
We get a video on Kevin Nash challenging Bret Hart for a match on the Tonight Show. Meaning a ring would be set up in the Tonight Show studio and the match will air on NBC one night at 11:30.
More Eric, this time talking about him not being sure if he had authority at Slamboree, but knowing it was the right thing. Nick Patrick was right too.
We cut back to the announcers….who throw it back to the Bischoff interview. WCW gave him the big break he needed in 1993 and now it’s time to give back.
Piper and Bischoff arrive.
Tenay is now on commentary.
Bret Hart will be on the Tonight Show tomorrow night to respond to Nash. However, he will NOT be on WCW TV anytime soon.
Clips of Gorgeous George vs. Charles Robinson.
Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Evan Karagias
First match and it’s only forty minutes into the show. Rey is defending and the ring looks bigger than usual. They start off awkward with Rey sending him into the corner but stumbling, followed by Evan messing up a Flair Flip and having to jump to the apron instead. Evan misses a springboard spinwheel kick and gets covered for two before hitting a springboard cross body for two of his own. Rey knocks him into the corner for the Bronco Buster before a top rope hurricanrana retains the title. I waited 40 minutes for a two minute opener?
We go to Flair’s office and in walks…..Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker? Ric offers Parker an office and a secretary if Parker lays down for David tonight. See, every promoter has pushed their kids and Flair is going to push David down the fans’ throats until they’re sick of him. His words actually. Parker agrees and Ric brings in Torrie and David to explain his plan. Flirting with Torrie ensues of course.
Here’s Booker T. to talk about the TV Title situation at Slamboree. He doesn’t care about Stevie Ray, because he wants to fight Rick Steiner for the title tonight. Not much more to this one.
David Flair vs. Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker
Robinson is refereeing in Flair trunks and a regular shirt. For those of you that don’t remember him, Parker is a career jobber who later became an insane trainer in WCW. He’s the guy that told Batista he had no future in wrestling. Parker grabs a headlock to start and gets one off a clothesline. They head into the corner where Sarge can hammer away even more, drawing the Horsemen up to the apron. Flair misses a horrible elbow drop but Buddy misses a top rope knee drop. The Figure Four makes Parker give up. Well more like Charles rings the bell as soon as the hold goes on but whatever. Parker sells the heck out of the leg.
Charles Robinson/Ric Flair vs. Gorgeous George/Randy Savage
Why Flair and Robinson went to the back instead of just staying in the ring isn’t clear, though I’d assume it’s so there won’t be as much time to spend on wrestling. Flair grabs the mic and says he wants George out here at ringside for the next match. Apparently Madusa will be taking the place of an injured George. So why mention George in the first place?
Charles Robinson/Ric Flair vs. Madusa/Randy Savage
Savage says Flair and Robinson will pay for injuring George’s knee. Robinson struts a bit before locking up with Madusa. She easily takes over with an armdrag and leg sweep, drawing in the big guys to stare at each other. Robinson actually springboards off the middle rope into an armdrag to take her down but Madusa takes his head off with a forearm.
Off to Savage vs. Flair for the biggest reaction of the night so far. I mean it even beats Evan Karagias’s pop. Savage hammers away in the corner but Flair kicks him in the knee and tags in Robinson. This goes as well as you would expect with Robinson being thrown across the ring and then getting beaten up by Madusa. A kneeling piledriver (a tombstone but with Robinson facing the crowd) puts him down again and it’s off to Flair. Madusa takes him down and rides him around the ring, only to get belly to backed down.
Ric goes after the leg but gets small packaged for two. Another belly to back sets up the Figure Four but Savage comes in to break it up. The distraction lets Madusa hit Flair low and bring in Savage to clean house. Big and Little Naitch get slammed off the top rope and Madusa beats up Ric on the floor. Randy goes up and drops the elbow on Robinson, cracking some of Charles’ vertebrae and collapsing his lung in the process, for the pin.
Rating: D. Remember at Slamboree where George and Robinson tried really hard and had a watchable match? Well this was nothing like that. There were a lot of botches and near botches with Savage’s actually causing a bad injury. The springboard armdrag does make things a little bit better though. I mean, IT’S CHARLES ROBINSON DOING A SPRINGBOARD ARMDRAG.
DJ Ran.
Gene brings out Piper to talk about the whole presidency ordeal, which is all that seems to be happening on this show. After sucking up to the Iowa crowd, Piper has a top ten list for why Flair shouldn’t be President. Some of the highlights, read off a piece of paper:
5. Flair thinks Hilary Clinton is the Phantom Menace.
8. He made Dr. Kevorkian want to commit suicide.
10. The Nitro Girls say he’s now the 60 second scab.
Now Piper wants Bischoff to come out so he can yell about not buying Eric’s apology. Ignore that Eric was out before Piper even said his name. Gene says Bischoff is still an executive, even though he doesn’t seem to have any actual power. Eric apologizes for what he’s done over the years and vows to turn everything around. This brings out Savage who demands Bischoff give him a title shot tonight.
Piper tells Savage to wait his turn so George hits him with the crutch and Savage piledrives him. Savage slams Bischoff and loads up the big elbow but Nash comes out to break it up. Randy throws out a challenge to Nash and thinks Nash should just hand the belt over. Nash implies that the girls are hookers and says handing the belt over before was a political move. He accepts the challenge for a title match at some point in the future.
Clips from the three main events at Slamboree.
Hardcore Hak vs. Fit Finlay
Somehow this sounds like a welcome change of pace. That’s how far I’ve sunk. This is set up by Hak babbling about being hardcore and Finlay popping up on the screen to challenge him. They hit each other with the mic and then a kendo stick before Hak brings in a ladder. Finlay nails him in the head with it a few times and we take a break.
Back with Finlay being bulldogged through a table before he hits Hak in the throat with some kendo stick shots. Finlay flipts him into the ladder in the corner and goes to hit him low but Nick Patrick won’t allow it. Wouldn’t that be within the rules of this match? Finlay beats on Hak even more and hits his low blow until Knobs comes out to send both guys through tables. Patrick throws it out and this feud MUST CONTINUE!
Rating: F. So hardcore means most stuff is legal but not everything, Brian Knobs is still getting a push, Hak is still getting paid to pretend he’s a “wrestler”, they’re still fighting each other in circles, and now we’re not even getting winners to these messes. This is what I sat through after an hour of Nash/Piper/Flair/Savage. I’ll take the Test vs. Meat match that was going on over on Raw at this point any day.
TV Title: Booker T. vs. Rick Steiner
This HAS to be better. Rick will suck like he has after 1995 or so but Booker is bound to be…..unconscious in the back. Steiner says Booker can’t beat anyone without his brother and issues an open challenge to the locker room. Cue Sting for a brawl around ringside with Steiner in early trouble. We actually get a bell so I guess we have a title match.
TV Title: Rick Steiner vs. Sting
Sting does his bulldog but misses the Stinger Splash. Rick pounds on him in the corner and on the mat but Sting just pops up. They fight to the floor, only to have Sting get sent into the post. The floor mats are peeled back and Rick loads up a suplex onto the concrete. As is almost always the case, Sting reverses to prevent a probably concussion and chokes Rick with the TV cable. They head back inside where Sting hammers away with clotheslines until Scott Steiner comes out to yell at Sting. Cue Lex Luger to save his buddy as the match is thrown out with no one actually interfering.
Rating: D-. This was much more of a brawl than a match but somehow this might have been the most entertaining thing all night. Why we need to set up Rick Steiner vs. Sting and old guys vs. old guys is something only WCW could answer, but hopefully Booker gets to do something interesting soon.
Luger and Sting send the Steiners running as we’re flashing back to SuperBrawl I.
Konnan vs. Curt Hennig
Feeling out process to start with Hennig doing a random cartwheel before getting bulldogged down. A basement dropkick does the same and Konnan hammers away in the corner. Curt comes back with chops in the corner but gets chopped down as well. Hennig goes to the floor, tells Heenan he’s wearing new boots, and pulls his singlet aside to seemingly check his nipple.
On that we go to a break and come back with Konnan hammering away in the corner. Curt takes him down and stomps at the head a bit which isn’t as interesting as examining his nipples. A VERY lout chop puts Konnan down in the corner and some choking gets two. Hennig starts working on the leg with an Indian deathlock as this continues to be all over the place. The referee breaks it up for Hennig putting his hands on him so Curt keeps stoming away.
Off to another leg lock but the referee breaks it because…..why did he break that hold? Konnan wasn’t in the ropes and there’s no hair to pull. Back to the corner for more chops but Konnan comes back with a catapult into the buckle. The referee goes down and here’s Savage AGAIN to go after Konnan because he’s Nash’s buddy. At least Savage explained this one on the way to the ring. Hennig knocks Konnan to the floor and Savage sends him into the steps, setting up the HennigPlex for the pin.
Rating: D. You know, I’m a pretty big Randy Savage fan and have been for years. He used to live in Lexington and my uncle worked out at the same gym that he and Lanny Poffo worked out at. I really like the guy, but I’m SICK of him on this show! The guy is taking over the show on this night and it’s getting really dull to watch. On top of that the match was a mess with the guys being on different pages and doing little more than chopping for most of the match.
Tag Team Titles: Raven/Saturn vs. Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko
Raven and Saturn are defending and have Kanyon with them. Dean and Saturn feel each other out to start until Malenko is sent out to the floor and Saturn superkicks an invading Benoit down. A big dive takes Chris out again and Malenko gets caught by something like Total Elimination but with a clothesline instead of a kick to the face. Back to Benoit who slugs it out with Raven, who actually gets the better of it. He puts Benoit on his shoulders for a cross body from Saturn for two as the fans are finally into something tonight.
Chris comes back with a hard clothesline and tags out to Malenko, who quickly walks into a t-bone suplex. The champions hammer away even more before Raven hooks a chinlock on Dean. Malenko fights up and brings in Benoit who unloads on Raven with chops. That’s fine with Raven who comes back with Three Amigos and a tag to Saturn for a guillotine legdrop.
Back from a break with Dean leg lariating Raven but getting rolled up for two. Benoit gets two off a snap suplex before hammering away in the corner. Raven just crawls over and makes the tag to Malenko as the announcers talk about the Steiners vs. Luger/Sting. Heaven forbid they talk about the Tag Team Title match right in front of them. Saturn gets sent to the floor for a brawl with Malenko but has to sidestep a baseball slide, sending it right into Dean instead.
Back inside and the Horsemen start in on Saturn’s knee as the fans are all over the challengers. Benoit cranks on the knee and Dean comes back in to stomp away at it. Now the fans think this is boring because their minds have been so numbed by Piper and Savage that they don’t recognize a good match in front of them. Saturn comes back with a release belly to belly suplex and makes the tag to Raven.
Kanyon hands him a chair but it’s quickly thrown to the floor as Raven front suplexes Dean for a top rope splash from Saturn. Everything breaks down and Benoit suplexes Raven but misses the Swan Dive. Kanyon gets on the apron, accidentally allowing Anderson to nail Raven with the tire iron. Dean goes up but Kanyon shoves him into the Death Valley Driver to retain the titles.
Rating: B-. It’s not a great match but this was pure gold after the disaster that I’ve had to sit through for the last two hours. Hopefully this moves Raven and Saturn off to some new challengers and the Horsemen off to a higher spot on the card so we can get some fresh blood up there. Good back and forth match here with all four guys hitting each other very hard.
We follow the champions all the way to the back where Bam Bam Bigelow is watching. He and Kanyon jaw a bit.
WCW’s graphics continue to suck as we see Nash with the title superimposed over his shoulder and his arms crossed. At least tuck the strap under the arms.
WCW World Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Kevin Nash
Another PPV title match you don’t have to pay for. They slug it out to start with Nash taking him into the corner for some elbows to the face. A big clothesline puts Page on the floor but he’s quickly back in to get forearmed in the face. Another clothesline gets two for Nash but Bam Bam Bigelow comes out for a distraction. Page hits a clothesline of his own for two and Nash is in trouble. He chokes the champion with some tape before going to the top for a flying clothesline. Popular move in this match.
Off to a nerve hold and a chinlock on Nash as the cameraman slips with no one near him. A swinging neckbreaker and Russian legsweep get two each for Page. Nash sends him into Bigelow on the apron and busts out a rollup for two. A big boot drops Page and here’s Bigelow into the ring to get beaten up as well. Savage runs out to jump Nash and that’s a DQ to retain the title.
Rating: D+. Ton of clotheslines aside, this was one of the more watchable matches of the night. Page is likely on his way out of the main event and into a tag team with Bigelow, which is about as random of a pairing as you could ask for at this point in WCW. Yeah they’re both from New Jersey but Bigelow has been in hardcore matches for months while Page has been World Champion. Bigelow is a decent enough choice for an enforcer so it’s not bad, just odd.
All three hammer on Nash and the girls hand Savage lipstick to put on Nash’s face. A fan runs in and gets beaten down. Savage drops the big elbow to end the show.
Overall Rating: F+. If not for that tag match, this would be one of the worst shows I’ve ever seen. Between the endless Savage vs. Nash stuff that we’re going to have another month of to the horrible Cruiserweight Title match to hardcore matches being thrown out and Booker being laid out in the back, this was a very long show to sit through. We’re firmly in the horrible period for WCW now, and the fact that it’s only going to get worse for a long time terrifies me.
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