Monday Nitro – August 31, 1998: With A Jamaican Witch Doctor

Monday Nitro #152
Date: August 31, 1998
Location: Miami Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 12,481
Commentators: Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay

We’re still getting ready for WarGames and even though Team WCW looked to be in place last Monday, DDP suggested that Piper wasn’t officially a part of the team this past week on Thunder. Other than that we get to find out more about the Warrior’s Revolution, which is likely to get very stupid in a hurry. Let’s get to it.

Here are Hogan and Bischoff to get us going. Bischoff thanks the fans for their money tonight before talking about the pen being powerful. Because of the pen, Eddie Guerrero has to wrestle tonight and Ultimate Warrior won’t be in the ring. Hogan talks about how WarGames will be proof of the NWO’s power and adds Stevie Ray to the team along with himself and Bret. You have Giant on your side and you pick Stevie Ray? The fans chant for Goldberg as Hogan moves on to Warrior. He’ll get his revenge after eight years and then take the title back from Goldberg.

Actually Hogan doesn’t even want to wait for Warrior so get out here right now. The lights go out and Warrior appears to some middle of the road rock music before a song that sounds very similar to Warrior’s WWF theme. Hogan says the fire represents the fear in Warrior’s eyes because the NWO is at ringside. The lights go out again and the ring fills up with smoke. They come back on and Warrior is gone, leaving the NWO confused. We get the Warrior Symbol in the sky before going to the opening sequence.

Hogan/Hart vs. Sting/Luger tonight.

We get a video of Goldberg at the Florida Marlins’ stadium and hanging out with Mark McGwire. For those of you unfamiliar, McGwire was chasing the single season home run record in 1998 and was quite possibly the biggest thing in America at that point.

Wrath vs. Jim Powers

Wrath chops away in the corner and shrugs off forearms from Powers. Powerful shots to the chest have Jim in trouble and choking ensues. Jim comes back with some right hands in the corner with the fans trying to count along but Wrath keeps shoving him off to restart the count. An atomic drop by Wrath seems to blow out Powers’ knee so it’s the Meltdown for the pin.

Rating: D+. Wrath looked good out there as he ran over Powers like he wasn’t even there. The Meltdown is a good move for a guy that strong with the snap looking very impressive. This was Powers’ last match in WCW and I don’t think anyone missed him. Shame to go out with a knee injury like that if it was legit.

Nitro Girls at the announcers’ desk.

Okerlund and some Nitro Girls are at the Nitro Party grand prize winner in Ohio.

Norman Smiley vs. Scott Norton

Norton immediately headbutts him into the corner. A series of chops set up a powerslam for two as Norton pulls him up. He does the same off the shoulder breaker before powerbombing Norman in half for the pin.

The lights go out after the match and the Warrior is seen in the rafters.

Saturn carries Lodi’s bags into the arena due to losing a match on Thunder. The servitude lasts until Fall Brawl. Saturn says he has to do this because he lives by a code of honor as a former Army ranger.

Here’s the Wolfpack, again minus Sting, with something to say. Nash and Konnan do their catchphrases before Luger, with a goatee, says Sting is on his way to the arena for their tag match tonight. Nash says that unlike the Black and White, they have no leader. He announces the Wolfpack’s team for WarGames and to no surprise, it’s Sting, Luger and Nash.

That brings Nash to last week when DDP and Page got involved in Wolfpack business. Page has until next week to make a decision and Piper will be dealt with if he gets involved again. Nash also tells a story about a warrior sitting under a tree and waking up to see himself surrounded by wolves. The warrior tried to touch one of them and was eaten. The moral: if you don’t run with the pack, you’re being hunted. Not bad actually.

After a break, JJ Dillon is in the ring and asks Arn Anderson to come out for an off the record talk. Arn comes out to a WE WANT FLAIR chant as JJ talks about having to disassociate himself with the Horsemen when he joined the executive committee. However the other night he was watching an old tape and wants us to look at it.

We see an old promo of Arn Anderson talking about all the talent coming into the Mid-Atlantic area. Lots of people have wanted to come here and it’s been because of Gene and Ole Anderson. Well now the greatest Anderson of all time is here. He’s looking for guys like Dusty Rhodes, Ricky Steamboat and Magnum TA because he does it better than anyone else. That was probably from 1984.

Back live JJ talks about watching that promo many years ago and seeing something in Anderson. Arn became the heart and soul of the Horsemen. Over the years, JJ knew that WCW would be ok as long as the Horsemen were alive. However he’s seen the NWO factions take away a piece of the Horsemen at a time. Then he saw Chris Benoit and Steve McMichael ask Arn to restart the team, only to be told they don’t get it. Well JJ thinks Arn doesn’t get it and here are Mongo and Benoit to back him up.

They talk to Arn without microhones but Arn is shaking his head no. The fans chant WE WANT FLAIR as Arn starts to levae. JJ stops him and Arn is looking confused. JJ asks where Anderson is going and Arn asks why they’re doing this to him. Dillon never thought he would say this but he thinks Arn is afraid of all this. Anderson leaves to end this awesome segment. There’s something special here but since it’s WCW I’m just waiting for them to screw it up.

Hour #2 begins.

The announcers talk about what we just saw and Tony talks about Bischoff holding the Horsemen down. This transitions into a discussion of Eddie Guerrero asking to be released.

We look at Guerrero saying he wanted out of his contract and throwing coffee on himself. Bischoff is holding Eddie to his contract though.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Brian Adams

Before the match we get the Warrior signal again and Warrior is seen in the rafters. Eddie lounges on the top rope before the bell and then lays down on the mat. Adams won’t cover so Eddie gets on his knees and asks Adams to hit him. Brian towers over him even when Eddie is on his feet. Adams pulls back to hit him a few times but then throws him into the corner for some right hands. Guerrero isn’t fighting back at all. A hiptoss puts Eddie down and he lays there to be pinned. Adams puts his foot on Eddie’s chest for the easy pin. Storyline advancement.

Post match Eddie says Bischoff may have the power but he’s not going to be able to sue Eddie like he has other people.

We look at Ernest Miller turning heel on Thunder.

The Cat vs. Riggs

Riggs takes him into the corner to start and grabs a headlock before cranking on the arm. A dropkick, the only move Riggs is good at, sends Cat to the floor followed by a plancha. Back in and Cat pokes him in the eye and superkicks Riggs down. A big kick to the face puts Riggs down again and Cat talks a lot of trash. Two straight running spin kicks are enough to pin Riggs in a short match.

Post match Miller grabs the mic and says not to hate him because he’s beautiful. He’s the best wrestler and a three time world karate champion. No one can stop him, including all of the fans. Moving on.

Nitro Girls and it’s back to the Nitro Party.

Konnan vs. Marty Jannetty

Konnan takes him down to start and hits the rolling clothesline before pulling on his pants a lot. The low dropkick sets up a rolling armbar which isn’t broken even when Marty is in the ropes. Back up and Jannetty superkicks Konnan to take over but doesn’t immediately follow up. A jumping back elbow gets two and Marty stalls some more.

Marty puts on a chinlock and Russian legsweeps Konnan down for no cover. Jannetty stomps away and walks around a bit before putting on another chinlock. After that eats up some time, a clothesline gets two on Konnan. A neck snap across the top rope and a top rope cross body get the same and Marty is mad. Back up and Konnan grabs a quick X-Factor and the Tequila Sunrise is good for the submission out of nowhere.

Rating: C. Better match than you would have expected here, even though it needed to be about a minute shorter. Marty could still put on a decent match when he had the time and that’s what he got here. Konnan barely had any offense until the ending which is a WCW tradition that I’m getting tired of.

Here’s the Flock. Lodi makes Saturn carry a sign (“I’m With Lodi”) and they’re flanked by Kanyon and Raven. Before the match, Raven says Saturn isn’t allowed to touch himself or Kanyon tonight before telling Kanyon to break Saturn. Kanyon makes fun of Saturn’s military background and dares Saturn to hit him but Saturn stands him ground. Saturn doesn’t do it and is disgusted with himself.

Lodi/Saturn vs. High Voltage

Robbie starts with Lodi and the sign guy is easily shoved down. Saturn tells him to do something so Lodi bounces off of Rage. Now it’s Saturn’s turn but he’s clotheslined down as well. He’ll have none of that though and suplexes Rage down. Lodi immediately wants in but sees Kaos, sending Lodi right back to the corner for the tag to Saturn. Kaos gets kicked in the corner but a blind tag brings in Rage for an overhead belly to belly suplex. Back to Kaos for a hard clothesline but Saturn fights off both guys in lime green. The Death Valley Driver puts Rage down and Lodi tags himself in and steals the pin.

Rating: D+. This was angle advancement and there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m not wild on Kanyon joining the Flock but it’s nice to go somewhere in this story instead of just doing the same stuff over and over again. Lodi is entertaining too so having him on TV is another good thing.

Here’s DDP to open the third hour. He brags about Tom’s River, New Jersey winning the Little League World Series as a team. They took everyone’s talent and put them together into a team, just like Piper, Warrior and himself will do at Fall Brawl. They’ll take care of the NWO and Hollywood Scum Hogan in particular. Page brings out Piper who goes on a rant about Bret being a rookie and claiming to be Piper’s cousin.

Roddy says he has no family and rambles about Bret facing some guy named John in Toronto. Bret followed him around like a little puppy for years before becoming a Triple Crown Champion in the WWF. Hogan is conning Bret for everything he’s got and Bret is just as scared as he was before that match in Toronto. This brings out Giant but Page pounds away on him. Giant knocks both WCW guys down and chokes Page until security breaks it up. I still don’t get why Giant isn’t in WarGames.

Here’s Scott Steiner with his doctor. Steiner brags about his prowess with the ladies but is annoyed that JJ won’t believe him about the injuries. Apparently Steiner’s doctor has brought in another doctor named Juju Youbangee, which is Buff Bagwell dressed like a Jamacian. Buff’s accent comes and goes before he throws some powder on Scott. The fans think this is bull as Buff declares Steiner healed. Scott says he loves the voodoo that he do and promises to beat Rick up at Fall Brawl. Rick comes in from behind and clears the ring. Warrior and his signal pop up again to close the segment. This was so bizarre it was entertaining.

Cruiserweight Title: Juventud Guerrera vs. Evan Karagias

Juvy is defending. Feeling out process to start with a shoulder block sending Evan to the mat. The fans are paying attention to something off camera as Evan gorilla presses Juvy throat first onto the top rope. Juvy comes back with a springboard dropkick and some chops but charges into a powerslam for two. Now the fans are looking at something else as, Evan dropkicks him to the floor. Back in and Evan hooks a chinlock as the fans get distracted for the third time.

Juvy sends him to the floor to escape and comes back in with a guillotine legdrop but hurts his own back in the process. Evan is up at two and avoids a charge in the corner to put Juvy down again. Karagias goes after the knee as the fans chant Goldberg. Heenan yells at Evan for letting go of a half crab, allowing Juvy to put on a chinlock. The fans are AGAIN looking at something else and chanting what sounds like “take it off!”.

Evan slams Juvy down and goes up but gets crotched, allowing Juvy to hit a top rope hurricanrana. Now it’s Juvy getting crotched as the fans are booing something other than the match. Evan hits a top rope hurricanrana of his own for two but misses a top rope Lionsault. Guerrera hits the Juvy Driver to finally retain.

Rating: B-. I feel sorry for these guys as they were having a very good match and the fans were looking at about five other things instead. Karagias looked good out there and hung with Juvy every step of the way. Juvy continues to be as good of a high flier not named Mysterio as there is in the company.

Nitro Girls/Nitro Party. Jim Duggan is there too.

TV Title: Chris Jericho vs. Disco Inferno

Jericho is defending. Disco now has a sweatband. Chris runs him over with a shoulder and does a little shuffle. Disco comes right back with a clothesline and sends Jericho into the corner for some stomping. Tony calls a slam a tilt-a-whirl slam for no apparent reason but Jericho avoids a fist drop.

The Lionsault hits knees and an atomic drop sends Chris face first into the corner. A clothesline and spinebuster get two each and Heenan is impressed with Jericho. Jericho comes back with a German suplex but walks into the Chartbuster for two as Jericho gets his foot on the ropes. Disco charges again but gets caught in the Liontamer for the win.

Rating: C. Much better match than I was expecting here with Disco using his basic offense very well. Jericho continues to be one of the most awesome things on the roster but for whatever political reasons, he’s stuck fighting guys in the lower card and stealing the show every time.

Kevin Nash sits in on commentary for the next match.

WCW World Title: Goldberg vs. Al Green

Nash mentions that Green was his original partner in WCW, which was in a tag team called the Master Blasters. He also wouldn’t mind a shot at the world title. Green looks like a bald Scott Norton and jumps Goldberg to start. The choking and forearms have almost no effect as Goldberg drives him down to the mat. A backdrop and slam put Green down and he bails to the floor as Goldberg loads up the spear. Smart guy. Goldberg sends him into the post and back inside it’s the two moves to retain the title.

Hollywood Hogan/Bret Hart vs. Sting/Lex Luger

Bret and Luger get things going with the American grabbing a headlock. Bret comes back with right hands and choking in the corner but Luge rams him into the buckle to take over. A tag brings in Sting and Bret immediately runs to Hogan for a tag. Hogan fires off right hands but Sting shrugs them off and sends Hollywood into the buckle before tagging Luger back in. Choking puts Lex down in the corner and it’s back to Bret for some Canadian choking. We even get an eye rake across the ropes for good measure.

Hogan holds Luger in the corner so Bret can choke even more before choking from the apron. You may be noticing a pattern in the offense here. The heels keep switching without tagging like good villains are supposed to do. Bret hooks a chinlock but gets suplexed down to give Luger a breath.

No hot tag yet though as Hart makes a save, only to have a double clothesline put both guys down again. Now we get the tag to Sting who cleans house on Hogan, only to have Disciple shove Hogan away from the Stinger Splash. Hogan starts whipping Sting with the weightlifting belt but Bret pulls it away. Hart leaves but Hogan goes after him for an argument in the aisle, leading to a countout.

Rating: C-. The match was nothing special but we get yet another twist in the storyline. It’s nice for Bret to FINALLY have something going on, even though it’s rather confusing. I’m not buying into the NWO tension because it’s happened roughly 847 times now in the last two years but never leads anywhere.

Bret and Hogan shove each other in the ring as some smoke starts. It’s too early apparently as it cuts off, only to start up a few moments later. The lights go out as more smoke comes into the ring. They come back on and everyone is out cold with Warrior in the ring. So it’s sleeping gas, which doesn’t work on Warrior for some reason? Or Hogan apparently as he runs to the back to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t the worst show ever, but Warrior vs. Hogan is shaping up to be the stupidest feud in a long time. But hey, Hogan’s ego can be repaired so who cares if he stops WCW from being the top company in wrestling again? I’d love to hear some of the creative meetings. “So you see, Warrior has this Bat Signal and sleeping gas that doesn’t work on him and Hogan and then Hogan beats him in the blowoff match using the powers of Hollywood-A-Mania. Great idea right?” As usual the midcard helps bring the show through, but the main event guys drag it right back down.

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Wrestler of the Day – January 16: Scott Hall

Today we look at one of the biggest names to never be world champion: Scott Hall. While it’s not his birthday, it is the birthday of Rick Bognar, who portrayed the fake Razor in 1997.

Hall got his start in Florida but would first come to prominence in the AWA as Big Scott Hall. He would win the tag titles with Curt Hennig and defend them at WrestleRock 86 on April 20, 1986.

Tag Titles: Scott Hall/Curt Hennig vs. Long Riders

The Long Riders are a biker team who ride in on their motorcycles. Hall gets an award for being popular pre match. The champions won the titles in Albuquerque apparently, which is nowhere near the AWA territory, so I’m going to bet that match didn’t happen. Also the regular AWA ring announcer, Larry Nelson, is now sitting in on commentary with Trongard. The Long Riders are Scott “Hog” Irwin and Wild Bill Irwin.

Hall starts with Scott (for this match, Scott will only be used for Scott Irwin. Scott Hall will only be called Hall) as we hear about the Long Riders being made to wear wrestling gear. Apparently their biker gear has been used for EVIL and has therefore been banned. Nothing goes on here so the partners both tag off. Hennig hits a HUGE dropkick on the future Goon and we head to the floor for a chase scene. Back to Hall as the champions have been in total control the whole time so far.

Bill manages to take Hall to the mat for about two full seconds but the more famous one grabs an armbar to take over. Off to Hennig and the beating continues. Dropkick gets two as we’re five minutes in. Curt and Bill slug it out and Hennig superkicks him down for two. Bill misses a charge and an elbow drop so Hennig grabs a headlock. They get up and do a weird sequence where they’re both on their stomachs and Curt crawls at him as Bill backpedals to the floor.

Test of strength now and Hennig kind of suplexes him over for two. The Riders take over on Curt with some double teaming. They draw in Hall for some lame double teaming as we’re at ten minutes into this. More double teaming which is mainly just assisted choking. Curt avoids an elbow drop and it’s off to Hall. House is cleaned and noggins are knocked but it’s back to Hennig. Everything breaks down and Curt is sent to the floor. It doesn’t really matter though as Hall goes to the floor with Scott, allowing a missile dropkick from Hennig to retain the titles.

Rating: C-. Not bad here as there was a formula and an idea here, but the execution wasn’t that great. The Riders were a pretty weak team but it could have been far worse. Hennig was a huge deal in the AWA and would hold the world title for over a year starting in May of 87. Decent match but nothing all that great. It’s a big upgrade on the majority of the show though.

 

Hall would leave the AWA in 1989 and float around for a bit, including a quick run in Dusty Rhodes’ PWF territory. Here’s a match from one of their bigger events: PWF Homecoming.

Scott Hall/Steve Keirn vs. Dick Slater/Bam Bam Bigelow

Keirn has an alligator with him named Wally. Get the reference? Gordon says this is an Australian tag match, whatever that means. Bigelow and Hall start things off. Bigelow is the only one here that looks like he usually looks. Hall works on the arm and brings it’s off to Slater who takes over. Back to Bigelow who looks silly working on the arm. Monster heels go after RIBS man. RIBS. Bam Bam misses a headbutt and Hall hits a dropkick.

Off to Keirn who works on the arm as well. Slater is knocked to the floor and Keirn suplexes him back in for one. This is another boring match. Swinging neckbreker from Slater puts Keirn down but he won’t tag. I guess it’s supposed to tease tension or something. Slater drops an elbow for a delayed two. Keirn hooks a sleeper so Bigelow makes the save. Hall knocks Slater down and after about a day and a half Keirn tags him in. A quick sunset flip gets the pin. Oh and apparently Slater and Bigelow are part of Page’s stable.

Rating: D-. Scott Hall’s mustache alone keeps this from failing. Other than that there’s NOTHING here that anyone should want to see. This show continues a complete lack of being able to tell us anything about the stories leading up to the match. Bigelow and Slater are in the Diamond Exchange? Thanks for telling us that with 10 seconds left in the match. It really made the ending epic.

Scott would have a pretty worthless run in WCW as the Diamond Stud before going to the WWF for the role that made him famous: Razor Ramon. Allegedly the gimmick was invented during Hall’s interview with Vince. McMahon told him to come up with a character on the spot and Hall started talking like Tony Montana from Scarface. Vince had never seen the movie and thought Hall was a genius. Hall’s first major angle in the WWF was a semi-bizarre pairing with Ric Flair against Mr. Perfect and Randy Savage. His first and only major WWF Title shot came at the 1993 Royal Rumble.

WWF World Title: Razor Ramon vs. Bret Hart

Feeling out process to start with Razor getting the early advantage with some right hands. A knee in the corner misses and Bret has on the Figure Four in less than 90 seconds. Razor gets the rope so Bret drops elbows on the knee instead. The leg gets wrapped around the post before Bret goes after the other leg in the corner for some reason. Ramon comes back with a whip to send Bret ribs first into the post.

Now we get to the best part of any Bret Hart match: him getting the tar beaten out of him. Some backbreakers on the floor keep Bret down and we head inside again. Razor pounds on the ribs some more and hits the fallaway slam for two. Helen Hart (Bret’s mom) is in the front row. There’s the chest first into the buckle bump from Bret for two more and it’s off to the abdominal stretch, another Razor trademark.

As always, Bret reverses Hall’s hold into one of his own before getting hiptossed over. Bret is sent to the floor on a kickout and gets two on a sunset flip. We hit the reverse chinlock by Razor, followed quickly by a bearhug. Bret bites his way out of it and sends Razor to the outside in a quick move. The champion follows it up with a suicide dive and the comeback is on.

Bret pounds away in the corner over and over as we hit the brawl. For a guy known as a technical master, Bret brawled an awful lot. Not that he’s bad at it or anything but it happens really often. There are the Five Moves of Doom but Razor gets to the rope before the Sharpshooter is on. The second attempt doesn’t work either as Razor pulls the referee into a pile with the two of them.

Ramon goes right back to the ribs and Bret’s momentum is stopped dead. A belly to back superplex is blocked by Bret into a belly to back suplex for two for the champ. Razor clotheslines Bret down but Bret escapes the Razor’s Edge into a backslide for two. In a pretty awesome ending, Bret counters a test of strength into a sunset flip in a sweet flip counter, followed by grapevining the legs together on the mat and turning Razor over into the Sharpshooter for the submission.

Rating: B. Good match here and again, why did Razor never get more title matches? I know he wasn’t the kind of guy to make the world champion, but are you telling me that when the company was falling apart at times they couldn’t throw him in there as a token challenger? I would have bought him as legit threat to any champion, but it never happened. I’ve never gotten that. Anyway, solid match here as you would expect from these two.

Soon after this, Hall would be turned face by a loss to the Kid on an episode of Raw. He would eventually win the Intercontinental Title in the fall of 1993, leading to his most famous match ever. Shawn Michaels had been the Intercontinental Champion but was suspended while still champion. The solution was to hang both titles above the ring and the first man to climb a ladder to pull them down would be champion. From Wrestlemania X if you somehow don’t know that.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon

Shawn has Diesel with him here. Diesel is told to leave but just doesn’t because that’s the kind of guy he is. Basic stuff to start with Shawn blocking a hip toss but getting chokeslammed instead. They hit the ropes to build some speed and Shawn hits a neckbreaker. Razor gets sent to the floor and there’s a clothesline from Diesel, earning him another ejection which actually works this time.

Anyway Shawn gets punched in the jaw and Razor takes over again. Shawn is knocked into the corner before a BIG clothesline puts him on the floor. Razor exposes the concrete but we head back inside before he can use it. The Razor’s Edge is loaded up but Shawn backdrops Ramon over the top and onto the concrete, possibly injuring an elbow. Shawn gets the ladder but Razor jacks his jaw to stop it. The ladder is slid inside but Shawn hits a baseball slide to knock it into Ramon’s ribs.

Back inside again and the ladder is rammed into Razor’s ribs both in the corner and on the mat. Shawn throws the ladder onto Razor’s back which looks SICK. He tosses it at Razor against the ropes and goes for a climb, only to have Razor pull Shawn’s tights down and give us a rather unpleasant (or pleasant depending on your preferences) view. Not that it matters as Shawn knocks him down and climbs again, this time hitting a pretty famous splash to crush Razor again.

Razor saves another climb by shoving the ladder over, sending Shawn onto the top rope. We get a camera shot from above the ring, showing both guys laid out on the mat. Cool shot. Back up and Michaels is whipped into the ladder in the corner, knocking him out to the floor. Razor rams the ladder into Shawn’s chest with his back against the post. If that’s not enough, Razor launches Shawn into the ladder against the apron to keep Michaels in agony.

Back in and Ramon BLASTS Shawn with the ladder to knock him to the outside again. Razor climbs up but Shawn dives off the top rope to knock him down. The ladder falls onto Shawn in the process to keep both guys on the mat. They both start to climb but the ladder is bent. Shawn is higher up but can’t hang in a slugout with Razor. Michaels gets punched down but the ladder gives way under Razor, sending him down.

Ramon climbs again but Shawn dropkicks the ladder which doesn’t topple over this time. In a smart move, Shawn pushes the ladder over onto Razor’s back to take control again. A big piledriver puts Razor down so Shawn goes to the corner. In another famous visual, Shawn rides the ladder down onto Razor, crushing him yet again. Since he’s a jerk though, Shawn puts the ladder over top of Razor, but Ramon gets up and knocks Shawn off the ladder. Michaels gets tangled in the ropes, allowing Razor to climb up to unify the titles.

Rating: A+. This is one of the matches that reignited the midcard scene after things had died down for a bit. It also paved the way for the insane style that would start to dominate about five years later. That being said, it’s still a freaking AWESOME match with some iconic spots such as the splash. It also started Shawn on the roll of a lifetime, as the next year he would be in the world title match at Wrestlemania then win the title the following year. This match is required viewing for fans.

Razor would stick around the midcard title scene for the next several years while still being one of the most popular wrestlers in the company. He would trade the title with Diesel later in the year, setting up an Intercontinental Title defense against Jeff Jarrett at the 1995 Royal Rumble.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Jarrett is challenging and now has the Roadie with him. Razor starts with his usual assortment of punches and a fallaway slam to send Jeff to the floor. After a little toweling off on the floor, Jeff armdrags Razor down and struts. They trade arm holds until Razor gets taken to the mat where Jeff messes with his hair. Careful with the grease there Jeff. Razor gets annoyed and knocks Jeff to the floor for some more Memphis stalling.

Jeff gets back in and is immediately puts in an armbar where Razor can mess with Jarrett’s hair. Some dropkicks floor the champ and a clothesline gets two. Razor catches a boot coming and ducks the enziguri from Jeff, but Razor misses an elbow to keep Jarrett in control. We hit the chinlock followed by a sunset flip by Jeff for two. Another dropkick gets the same and Jarrett is getting frustrated.

Jarrett hooks a sleeper but Razor quickly counters. The counter doesn’t last long though as Jeff hits a swinging neckbreaker for two. Ramon slides behind Jeff in the corner and crotches him on the post to a big pop. We get a messed up (not botched mind you) spot where Razor was going to try a bulldog off the middle rope but Jeff turns around and it had to be a clothesline. Eh no harm no foul. Jeff backdrops Razor to the floor, injuring the champ’s knee. Roadie clips him in the knee and Razor gets counted out.

We won’t get to the rating just yet. Post match Jeff calls Razor a coward for taking the easy way out like that and calls him back into the ring. Razor pulls a Marty McFly and takes the bait, giving us another match.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Razor tries some quick rollups for two but Jeff goes right for the knee to take over. Jeff does his best Ric Flair imitation but as he goes for the third cannonball down onto the leg, Razor kicks him over the top and out to the floor. Back in and Jarrett puts on the Figure Four, putting Razor in a lot of trouble. Razor escapes and starts his comeback with punches and the belly to back superplex but Jeff counters in mid air for two. Razor clotheslines him down and loads up the Edge, but the knee gives out and Jeff rolls him up for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. I always remember liking this match and it holds up pretty well. Memphis stalling isn’t for everyone but it’s a good way of drawing heel heat, which Jeff might as well have been an iceberg for otherwise. Razor was awesome at this point and had good chemistry with Jeff, so this worked pretty well all around. The ending was smart as it was Razor’s trademark ending for house shows, but he would usually win in about 30 seconds with the Razor’s Edge. Nice to see them switch things up here.

Razor would leave the WWF in May of 1996 and join WCW for the biggest angle of all time. This would lead to Bash at the Beach 1996 and the turn to end all turns.

Sting/Lex Luger/Randy Savage vs. Kevin Nash/Scott Hall/???

In case you don’t remember, the WCW guys were selected by putting the names of the top 6 WCW wrestlers based on win/loss record over the past I think six months or a year in a hat and drawing them out. The others were Hogan, Taskmaster and Giant. Hall and Nash come out alone and don’t have names yet. Tony gives them their names here. Until then they were just the Outsiders.

I’m not one for six man main events but this feels huge. Partially because it is huge. Gene goes into the ring before the WCW guys are here to find out who the third man is or for that matter where he is. The build for the drama here is epic. They’re milking this for everything they can.

The commentators aren’t even trying to stay unbiased which for once is nice. Even Randy Anderson is taller than Gene. Buffer is almost as tall as Scott Hall. Wow I didn’t realize that. The bell rings and we actually start with a handicap match.

The paranoia of the announcers actually upgrade this, marking the final time the WCW commentators don’t make me want a stiff drink in the history of WCW. Luger and Hall start. Now we get to the interesting part about a minute in. It turns into a big brawl and Nash and Luger are in the corner. Sting launches a Stinger Splash and nails Nash.

He also nails Luger, whose head and neck are rammed into the turnbuckle/bar attaching the turnbuckle to the ring. He’s OUT. They bring out a stretcher to carry him to the back and we have a 2-2 match with the third man on the way out. Now this does a few things. First of all, it makes the Outsiders look like they have a chance. Being realistic, there was no three man combination in the world that could have beaten Sting, Luger and Savage at this point and looked dominant.

That’s a WCW All-Star team to put it mildly and it would have been a waste of time to try. By making it two against what would become three, it makes WCW, the faces, at a disadvantage as they should be (are you listening TNA?). Also, this throws out a tiny piece of meat to the smarks as Luger and Sting had been the top candidates to be the third man.

It opens a door for Luger coming back and never being hurt and it opens a door for Sting to have done that on purpose. Either way the match pretty much stops at this point while we wheel Luger out. Tony says the Outsiders planned that somehow. That makes no sense but whatever. Crowd is RABID here.

Savage comes in but when Nash goes for a big elbow he lands on Savage’s head so Sting has to come in. Nash beats the heck out of Sting as does Hall so Savage is going to get the hot tag. There’s no real penalty or reward if the Outsiders win. They’re doing something brilliant here as they’re pacing things out to the point where we forget about the third man.

That’s very smart booking and I’m in awe of how this match is going. Tony says the Outsiders should get hurt. Wow. I’m not sure if that’s awesome or not. Savage FINALLY gets the hot tag and you actually can barely understand the announcers over the crowd. Nash gets a low blow on him though…and here comes Hulk Hogan. Heenan asks which side is he on.

The Outsiders clear the ring….and Hogan turns heel, dropping a leg on Savage and then another one. To say the crowd is ticked off is an understatement. This is legitimately a shock as NO ONE, not Meltzer, not Keith, not Reynolds, no one called this and if they did they were wrong at the time because from every report I can find, this decision was made the day of or the day before the show as Sting was scheduled to be the third man until Hogan agreed to do it.

This was a legitimate shocker and it lived up to every bit of the hype. Hogan turning was the one thing that made this angle work as I’ll get into later on. This was a great moment and I was about to cry when it happened. The fans flood the ring with garbage as Gene gets in. Hogan cements his heel status by saying the fans need to shut up if they want to hear what he has to say. That line alone makes this promo.

He says the name and the rest is history. Hogan claims the success for making WWF. I’m shocked too. Hogan says he’s bored with WCW and is joining up with the Outsiders and calls them the new blood of WCW. This is the one problem I had with both this turn and Austin joining the Alliance in 2001. Both guys said they were bored with the companies they had been in and wanted better competition.

If you’re going to be fighting the company you used to work for, won’t you be fighting the same competition you were fighting before? Hogan’s title win was over Giant who he had fought at I think three PPVs and his first defense was against Flair and you know that history. That just never made sense to me.

He throws in the for some reason semi-famous line about Bischoff selling meat from a truck in Minneapolis which is actually true. Hogan runs down the fans and does his trademark line. Tony says Hogan where he can go twice and we’re done.

Rating: A+. This was about launching the NWO. It worked.

Hall would join Kevin Nash as the Outsiders and dominate the tag division, including this title defense at Starrcade 1996.

Tag Titles: Outsiders vs. Faces of Fear

 

The Outsiders, Kevin Nash and Scott Hall, are defending here. The Faces of Fear are the Barbarian (I told you he stuck around for a long time) and Meng, Robert Parker’s old bodyguard, managed by Jimmy Hart. Hall and Meng start things off with the Tongan monster putting on a wristlock. Hall cranks on the arm but gets caught with a stiff clothesline. Meng charges into a boot in the corner, followed by a bulldog by Hall. The bulldog merely seems to tick Meng off though so he pounds Hall down and brings in Barbarian.

 

Off to Nash who pounds Barbarian into the corner and fires off some big slow knees to the ribs. An elbow to the face staggers Barbarian but he shoves the 7’0 Nash into the corner and pounds away with chops. Meng comes in and the challengers pound Nash down to a big reaction from the crowd. Nash tries to ram their heads together, but Wrestling Law #3 says anyone described as a savage has a VERY hard head, meaning it has no effect.

 

Nash is kicked down again for a two count for Barbarian but he misses a middle rope elbow. Barbarian is dropped face first on the top turnbuckle in a move called Snake Eyes (a move named by Nash when he portrayed Vinnie Vegas) and it’s back to Hall to pound on Barbarian a bit more. Meng comes down the apron and pulls Hall to the challengers’ corner for a double team with Barbarian. A BIG boot to the face puts Hall down but referee Nick Patrick, who may or may not be in the NWO’s pocket, takes his sweet time in counting two.

 

Back to Meng for a very delayed piledriver for another near fall. Barbarian tries his luck again with a bunch of chops and a good looking powerbomb. Patrick again takes forever to count, allowing Nash to come in for a save. Barbarian stays on Hall as Tony says he’s confused by who is legal. To be fair though, tying his shoes confuses Tony. NWO member Syxx goes after Jimmy Hart and the pair head to the back.

 

Barbarian puts on a nerve hold as Hall gets to lay on the mat. Maybe he needs a nap after all the hard work he’s done in this match so far. After not moving for a good 20 seconds and not being checked by Patrick, Hall fights up and suplexes Barbarian down to escape. Tag off to Nash who gets two off a big boot of his own. Everything breaks down and Nash powerbombs Barbarian down to retain.

 

Rating: C-. This one went longer than it needed to and even when I was eight years old I knew the Faces of Fear had no chance here. The Outsiders held those belts for the better part of a year and a half with no one being able to take them from them (and keep them that is). The match was a watchable power match but the belts never felt like they were in danger at all.

Hall would mainly be in tag team matches for the rest of the year but would win the World War 3 battle royal, earning him a world title shot at Uncensored 1998.

WCW World Title: Sting vs. Scott Hall

Hall won World War 3 which was only four months earlier. There’s your story. He also has Dusty Rhodes with him because he’s a heel turn we’re supposed to care about I guess. Sting hammers him to start and Hall bails. Mark Curtis, the referee, is REALLY skinny. He would die of cancer a year and a half later so maybe that’s partially to blame for it. He looks fine other than that. Maybe he’s just a skinny guy.

Hall hits a chokeslam and does his Giant imitation instead of covering with even Bobby freaking out over his stupidity. Hall goes out to the floor again and Dusty trips up Sting so Hall can clothesline him. Fallaway Slam hits as this is just Hall’s Greatest Hits here. Sting does his collapse into the balls thing. Dusty comes in and drops the elbow which the referee somehow misses despite the slight earthquake off the landing.

That only gets two though and Hall punches some more. Here’s the comeback and Sting hits a Stinger Splash in the corner. Scorpion is attempted but he has to drill Dusty instead. Down goes the referee (shocking) and Dusty throws in some brass knuckles. Another referee comes in for a two count. Outsider Edge is reversed into the Death Drop and we’re done.

Rating: C-. This is one of those matches where it’s supposed to be a big match and is just another match. This could have been a moderately big Nitro main event and no one would have noticed I don’t think. It’s not horrible but dude, that’s it? Sting would lose the title the next month so that Hogan could get it back the next night, because that’s what people wanted to see. Right?

 

While mainly a tag wrestler, Hall would occasionally have singles success, including a US Title match with Roddy Piper at SuperBrawl 1999.

US Title: Roddy Piper vs. Scott Hall

This match alone should sum up most of WCW’s problems from this era (or most eras for that matter) in a nutshell. First of all, this is the third straight match with the Wolfpac theme music in it. Second, WCW has a roster including but not limited to: Hart, Booker T, Benoit, Mysterio, Jericho, Malenko, Saturn, Guerrero, Guerrero Jr. and probably a bunch of people that I’m forgetting, and they have Piper vs. Hall for the title and the announcers treat it like some dream match. That’s WCW for you.

Disco is with Hall here. We hear about Piper winning the US Title for the first time from Flair back in 1981. Why do you need me here? These jokes write themselves. Piper throws the kilt on Hall and pounds away at him. Piper does his usual punching, choking and poking. Oh and slapping too. Can’t forget the slapping. Hall is about to tell him to suck it so Piper hits him in the ribs then tries an actual wrestling move, hitting a neckbreaker for two.

Hall hits the shoulder blocks with the wristlock but Piper pulls the hair to take Hall down. Disco tries to interfere so Piper messes up his hair. There’s Disco’s career highlight. Hall takes a few atomic drops and Piper pokes him in the throat. Out to the floor for Piper to chase Disco but Hall rams him into the steps instead. Back inside and hall punches him down. Piper hits him low but Hall basically no sells it. Piper gets put in the Tree of Woe as Heenan says Hall is one of the top five in the world today. At what exactly?

Piper gets out of the corner and Tony praises him for doing it on his own. Off to the abdominal stretch and Piper is in trouble again. In a moment that gives me a small seizure, Heenan ACTUALLY EXPLAINS SOMETHING, saying that when Disco pulls on Hall’s arm, it’s not so much for the torque on Piper but also to prevent Piper from being able to move Hall around or hip toss him.

Disco lets go and Piper hiptosses out. Piper hooks the sleeper but Disco comes in to break it up. Disco gets beaten up and Nash runs in. Piper hits him too but Hall gets in a shot and covers with his feet on the ropes to win the title. Yeah, because SCOTT HALL is the right choice to give a title too. That gives the NWO the World, US and TV Titles. In 1999.

Rating: F. This match was awful. I mean really, PIPER VS. HALL IN 1999??? Who thinks that’s a good idea other than Piper, Hall and their mothers? Terrible match with neither guy being able to do much other than punches and really basic holds. Matches like these are the reason this company went under.

He spent most of 1999 on the injured list and would leave WCW in early 2000. After a two year run in Japan, Hall would return to the WWF with Hall and Nash in the NWO. Hall would face Steve Austin at Wrestlemania XVIII.

Steve Austin vs. Scott Hall

That’s a pretty big fall for Austin from main event to this in just a year. The injured Nash is with Hall here to try to make us believe Austin isn’t winning in a walk. Austin immediately stomps him down in the corner before Hall can even get his vest off. There’s the Thesz Press but Austin has to go after Nash on the floor instead of following up. Back in and Hall clotheslines him down for two as momentum shifts. Nash sneaks a turnbuckle pad off as the other two fight in the corner.

Austin gets whipped back first into said buckle pad and Nash adds a right hand for good measure. The fallaway slam gets two for Hall as does a hard clothesline. Hall stomps away at Austin’s ribs and Nash gets in another right hand to the head. Scott pounds away even more but Austin grabs a Stunner out of nowhere. Nash makes the save and decks the referee though, allowing for some good old NWO cheating.

Hall brings in a chair but Austin easily beats them both up and gives them both Stunners. No referee though but we get a replacement, only for Nash to drop an elbow on his back. The Outsider’s Edge is broken up and Hall is backdropped out to the floor. A bunch of referees come out to eject Nash as Hall sends Austin into the exposed buckle and hits a Stunner of his own (good one too) for two. Austin gets up and they do the EXACT same sequence but switch the people, allowing Austin to hit two Stunners to win it.

Rating: C. Again, much like everything else tonight, this was just a match. There was very little heat on this even though it was one of the better matches of the night. The big problem with most of these matches is that none of them feel special and that’s the case here. I mean….Austin vs. Scott Hall? Maybe four years ago, but in 2002? That doesn’t blow my skirt up.

That would pretty much be it for Hall in major promotions for a long time due to his substance abuse and alcohol issues. He would be fired from the WWF a few months later, pop up in the upstart TNA for a few months, then hit the indies for several years. Hall would pop up in TNA again in 2010 and win another set of tag titles with Kevin Nash under the team name The Band.. Here’s his final match before getting fired again for substance issues.

Tag Titles: The Band vs. Ink Inc.

Since Morgan isn’t champion anymore, there’s more or less no build here. Why would you need one of those? Ink Inc. CLEARLY is enough drawing power to not need an angle or a feud or anything pesky like that. Oh and clearly THESE TWO are the second best team in the company. Hall and Moore start us off. Wow I can’t stand these challengers.

Tenay and Taz continue their brilliance by pointing out that they number one contenders have had one match which they had after being named number one contenders. Brilliant guys. The Outsiders use all of their old favorites and it’s just not that interesting. I love Hall just standing there watching his partner getting the tar beaten out of him.

Down goes the referee as the spear misses. Young, armed with a kendo stick is here. Neal gets a spear on Nash though. That’s a bit surprising. Bubba comes out and yells at Nash before popping Neal with the stick. Oh here we go again. Young pulls Nash on top for the cover and the pin.

Rating: D. Seriously? THIS is the best tag title match they could come up with? That makes my head hurt. Just not an interesting match at all and boring to top that off. Horrible and likely worst of the night so far. The whole Band idea just doesn’t work but they keep going with it anyway.

Hall is one of the most interesting and saddening wrestlers in history. There’s incredible talent and knowledge there but he couldn’t control his demons. Thankfully he seems to be in much better shape now thanks to Diamond Dallas Page but it’s too late for his career. He had a lot of success but was never THE guy, though he seemed cool with that. If you’ve never seen them, check out some of his Razor Ramon matches as they hold up very well.

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Wrestler of the Day – January 10: Buff Bagwell

We’re looking at someone often remembered but not particularly successful as a singles guy: Buff Bagwell.

Bagwell debuted in 1991 and was named Rookie of the Year, a title which he seemed to hold for several years running. We’ll start at the end of that year with a match from Starrcade 1991. This was a show of “random” tag team matches and Bagwell was in the opening contest.

Michael Hayes/Tracy Smothers vs. Jimmy Garvin/Marcus Bagwell

 

Smothers was part of a tag team called the Young Pistols (current US Tag Champions) and Bagwell was a rookie at this point. Hayes and Garvin are regular tag partners in the Freebirds. Bagwell and Smothers start things out by shoving each other a few times until Bagwell runs him over with a shoulder block. Hayes starts the Atlanta Braves chop (a baseball crowd deal) for no apparent reason. A quick rollup gets two for Marcus and Tracy is complaining about having his trunks pulled.

 

Tracy comes back with a shoulder of his own, only to be taken down by a shoulder block and a dropkick from Bagwell. Now Tracy says he wants Garvin and things speed up a bit, leading to Smothers being hiptossed and dropkicked to the floor. I’m pretty sure Smothers is the only bad guy in this entire match so the fans are all over him. Back in and an atomic drop sends Smothers out to the floor again.

 

Bagwell comes in again for a top rope ax handle to Smothers’ arm but Tracy goes to the eyes to take him down. Now it’s off to Hayes for a back elbow to the face and it’s time to dance. They trade armbars with Hayes taking control before it’s back to Smothers. Bagwell takes over on Tracy’s arm as this just isn’t a good night for Smothers so far. Another armdrag puts Tracy down again and he’s getting very frustrated. Back to Garvin but Tracy tags in Hayes to give us a battle of the Freebirds.

 

They shake hands and don’t seem too hesitant to go after each other here. Granted not a lot happens for the first few moments of them being in there against each other as both guys have to strut a bit first. A rollup gets two for Hayes as this isn’t the most serious brawl ever. Both guys strut over to their corners and tag out while fixing their hair. Well that was worthless.

 

Back to Smothers vs. Bagwell with Tracy missing an elbow and it’s back to Garvin again. A forearm puts Tracy down and it’s back to Marcus a cross body for two. Everything breaks down and Hayes accidentally hits Garvin, allowing Bagwell to hit a fisherman’s suplex on Tracy for the pin to advance to Battlebowl.

 

Rating: D+. This started somewhat promising and then fell completely apart. The stuff with the Freebirds fighting was a waste of time and Smothers’ overblown selling of everything didn’t help much either. They were telling a story in this match but it wasn’t the most interesting in the world. That’s going to be a common theme tonight: there’s no reason for these specific people to be fighting, so the grades rest entirely on the in ring action for the most part.

Bagwell would be a staple of tag team wrestling over the coming years. He would win two tag titles with 2 Cold Scorpio and The Patriot, though neither reign would last even a month. The Patriot and Bagwell would trade the tag titles with Pretty Wonderful throughout 1994. Here’s their final tag title change from Clash of the Champions 29.


Tag Titles: Stars N Stripes vs. Pretty Wonderful

Stars N Stripes are Bagwell and the Patriot, Pretty Wonderful are Paul Roma and Paul Orndorff (holy Yoda line Batman and holy combination of two awesome geek series) and this is mask (Patriot’s) vs. title (Pretty Wonderful’s). The camera is a bit low so you can’t see over all of the fans. These teams traded the titles over the last two months or so. After a lot of stalling it’s Bagwell vs. Orndorff to start.

Roma comes in quickly and ever the genius, wrestles like a face. By that I mean he’s climbing the ropes and flipping off of them, jumping over Bagwell, using cross bodies and dropkicks. How many heels do you know that wrestle like that regularly? Anyway the challengers clear the ring quickly. Heenan thinks Patriot is Al Gore.

Paul vs. Patriot at the moment. Blast it this is one of those teams that I have to specify with. Orndorff vs. Patriot at the moment. How in the world was Roma a Horseman but not Orndorff? Patriot takes him down with an armbar and Orndorff isn’t sure what to do. Off to Roma who shows off again with three backbreakers without putting Patriot down. Thesz Press gets two for the masked dude.

The champions try a double hot shot but the cameraman falls over so we don’t see what happens. I know it’s just an accident but when do you ever see that? Orndorff drops an elbow on Bagwell as they’re legal at the moment. The fans chant USA for four American wrestlers. Off to Roma who has a REALLY high dropkick. Powerslam gets two. Sunset flip by Bagwell gets two on Orndorff.

Roma and Patriot hit the floor as this match is needing to end rather soon. Thankfully it does but even a simple pin doesn’t go right for them. Orndorff suplexes Bagwell and lays there with him, but doesn’t let him go. Roma goes up for a splash off the top ala the Powerplex but Patriot makes the save. Orndorff just stayed in the position and gets pinned, but Tony screws up the count, making it seem like the titles change on a two count and generally confusing the TV audience. Either way, new champions.

Rating: D+. Orndorff got a push at this point for some reason which I’m SURE wasn’t because he was one of Hogan’s buddies but whatever. The tag title situation never really was interesting at all at this point but they were trying….I think. Harlem Heat would rise up soon to half save the division but they tried at least.

His next partner would be Scotty Riggs in the American Males, who would win another tag title for nine days in 1995. After a year of jobbing with Riggs, Bagwell would join the NWO in November of 1996, setting up a feud with Riggs which was blown off at Souled Out 1997.

Buff Bagwell vs. Scott Riggs

Bagwell had very recently turned black and white so this is the blowoff I guess. I don’t know about you but I was begging for that American Males showdown. Bischoff talks about how Bagwell has the IT factor and is going to be a movie star according to Hogan. That’s rich. Buff channels his inner Hogan and poses so Riggs jumps him to start us off. And now we stall.

The constant camera cuts are reaching TNA levels here. They’re doing a weird handheld look here and it’s really not working at all. Apparently Buff has a new move for us tonight. He slaps Riggs and it’s on. Buff is sent to the floor which isn’t a DQ here for no apparent reason. I hate that rule but love how they constantly change it.

Eric: “Everybody has to go somewhere. Horses have glue factories and people here have Connecticut.” And then there’s Orlando I guess. Amazingly enough, this is a fairly boring match. Bagwell leads the fans in a Bagwell Sucks chant for some reason. He gets a powerbomb for two. This match is just rather boring. We get a shot of Buff’s tights down off a sunset flip attempt.

And now let’s look at the biker chicks again. Sure why not. Bischoff points out that the fans are restless and I’m rather surprised. This match would be perfect for me to get some rest to. It’s putting me to sleep. Riggs reverses a slam into a small package for a long two. The crooked referee schtick is getting very old.

Tornado DDT puts Buff down and Riggs of course doesn’t cover. Eric picks New England for the Super Bowl which was the wrong selection of course. After some more camera cuts and more slow counting, the fans are miserable. Patrick is tired here and I can’t really blame him for that. They go to the corner and Buff debuts the Blockbuster to end this. Yes, this got 14 minutes.

Rating: F+. And that’s just because I love the Blockbuster. This was incredibly boring and not even a fast paced match. At the end of the day, this was Marcus Bagwell vs. Scotty Riggs for almost 15 minutes on PPV. There is no way that works no matter what you say and the match was what you would have expected.

Bagwell formed another weak tag team with Scott Norton called Vicious and Delicious who worked a lot in Japan where Norton is a much bigger star. A feud with Lex Luger never went anywhere as Bagwell’s career began to stall. In April of 1998, Bagwell suffered a very serious neck injury in a match against Rick Steiner. He would come back later in the year and join the NWO again as WCW wasted a chance for a huge face push. This led to Bagwell’s newest tag team with Scott Steiner. That only lasted until Uncensored 1999 when Bagwell cost Scott the TV Title. Steiner would win the US Title soon thereafter and Bagwell had a shot at Slamboree 1999.

US Title: Buff Bagwell vs. Scott Steiner


Since Bagwell never won a singles title, I think you know who is champion coming in. Buff jumps him before the bell and Steiner still has the belt on. Swinging neckbreaker gets two. Scott hits him low and there’s the Push-Up elbow. Buff gets thrown to the floor and Steiner yells at some fans. Things slow WAY down with Steiner on offense. It was a running theme with the Steiners at this point.

Scott chokes away and yells at another fan. Much like in the Rick match, you may be noticing a pattern emerging here. They go to the mat and Steiner elbows him a lot. He runs to the floor and brings in a chair. If that shot had hit Steiner would have been facing 10-15 years. Bagwell fights back but there goes the referee. Buff gets the chair and here’s Rick to turn heel on Buff and whack him with the chair. The Recliner keeps the title on Scott.

Rating: D-. I can’t take many more of these bad matches. I mean the people in them are just SO lazy with them laying around and doing nothing of note. Scott and Rick are back together as the Steiners and both have singles titles. You know, because that’s what the people wanted to see and would light the world on fire. Benoit and Jericho and Malenko? Who are they?

For once, Bagwell was given a long singles push as both a face and a heel. He lasted in this role for the better part of a year and had some very good success though didn’t win any titles. Since the results weren’t there, it’s back to the tag teams, this time with Shane Douglas. At Spring Stampede 2000 they faced Ric Flair and Lex Luger in a tournament final for the vacant tag titles.

Tag Titles: Team Package vs. Buff Bagwell/Shane Douglas

Russo comes out with the New Blood and sits in on commentary. Luger vs. Bagwell gets us going. Russo is guaranteeing victory. Buff rakes the eyes to stop the offense and it’s off to Shane. Luger casually gorilla presses him and Flair gets in a right hand and they go to the floor. Tony shouts BS about something as the New Blood beats on Flair. How a guy that was world champion seven years ago can be considered New Blood is beyond me but it’s WCW so who cares.

Bagwell beats down Flair and Tony wants more choking and violence. That would be cool if we hadn’t seen it in every single match so far tonight. Flair gets a chop and they hit the ropes, bumping heads to put both guys down. Luger FINALLY does something to break up the beating on Flair. There’s the hot tag to Luger who cleans house for a bit and there’s the Figure Four on Shane. Russo gets up with the bat as the Blockbuster hits Shane by mistake. Russo pulls the referee out as Kronik debuts and hits the double chokeslam on Luger to give the New Blood the titles with Russo counting the pin.

Rating: D+. Just another match here and Kronik added nothing for the most part. The New Blood win the first tournament and I’m sure that’s all they’ll win right, because it’s not like they’re going to put all the titles on the heel faction like the NWO because that would just be stupid when they had done that a few years ago right?

That was pretty much if for Buff in WCW as he would have random feuds and matches until the company went under about a year later. Bagwell would be brought into the WWF, receiving one match for the WCW Title on an episode of Raw.

 

WCW World Title: Booker T vs. Buff Bagwell

 

Hudson screws up AGAIN, saying Booker is the current TV Champion rather than the US Champion along with world champion. You can actually see the people walking out. The fans IMMEDIATELY start changing BS and the upper level is blacked out so we can’t see them leaving. Buff takes over and does his strut as EVEN MORE people leave.

 

Buff hooks a chinlock and the remaining people boo. Now they chant THIS MATCH SUCKS. Buff starts glaring at the crowd, basically turning heel mid match. Booker comes back with a side kick and forearm that misses but gets two anyway. Axe kick, Spinarooni, Austin and Angle FINALLY come in for the DQ.

 

Rating: F. I’m going to go into a much longer explanation of why this was an abomination later, but for now we’ll go with this: if the company has to black out the upper deck because your match made that many fans leave, your match is a failure. Again, we’ll get back to this later.

 

That was it for Buff in the WWF as the match was so poorly received that he was fired. Bagwell would hit the indy circuit after that, joining up with the World Wrestling All-Stars organization. He would appear on their first Pay Per View called The Inception in a match that, I kid you not, was called T***, Whips and Buff.

 

Seven Deadly Sins Tournament Semi-Finals: Jeff Jarrett vs. Buff Bagwell

This is a, and I quote, T*** Whips and Buff match, which means the Starretts as lumberjacks holding whips. Buff’s graphic says Road Dogg but to be fair it’s their first show. Apparently Buff got to pick the stipulations. Ok then. Basic stuff to start and Jeff has to avoid a whipping. A clothesline puts Jeff on the floor and the girls chase him around some more. Buff gets sent to the floor and the girls help him up and rub his shoulders.

Jeff gets one of the whips and beats on Buff a bit and it’s off to a token reverse chinlock. Buff escapes with an electric chair and hammers away before sending Jeff to the floor for a whipping. Buff whips him a bit too and the referee says that’s not allowed so the referee takes a few shots too. In the ring the Blockbuster hits but there’s no referee. One of the girls counts and Buff (who wasn’t looking) celebrates, allowing Jeff to hit the Stroke to advance to the finals.

Rating: D-. Another comedy match here and it’s starting to wear thin. These matches aren’t funny and at about four minutes long, they aren’t coming off as important or anything like that. These are supposed to world title tournament matches but there’s almost no wrestling involved at all. That gets old in a hurry.

 

Overall, Bagwell is a guy who was always around in WCW but never did anything of note as a singles guy. He had a ton of potential with a great look and some above average skills, but the solution was always put him in a tag team and give him a meaningless tag title that never elevated him at all. His finisher, the Buff Blockbuster (flipping middle rope neckbreaker) was awesome and he could go in the ring, but as usual, WCW screwed it up.

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Wrestler of the Day – January 9: Ludvig Borga

We continue our international trend with perhaps the only major wrestler ever to come out of Finland and a guy I’ve grown to like a lot more in the last few years: Ludvig Borga.

Borga, real name Tony Halme) was a legitimate tough guy with a boxing background, only enhanced by being a jerk based on most reports of his attitude in the locker room. Halme started off over in Japan for NJPW, including this match against Big Van Vader. I can’t find a date on it but it would likely be from the early 1990s.

Big Van Vader vs. Tony Halme

Vader is the big crowd favorite here. They stall to start with neither guy interested in doing much. Vader taunts Halme with some strange noises so Halme fires off punches to the ample midsection. That’s fine with Vader as he pounds away in the corner to take us to a stalemate. More punches have Vader in trouble as the announcers talk about Sting and WCW, putting this at some point in 1992 or later.

Vader comes back with a splash in the corner and a suplex to send Halme to the floor. A few shots have Halme in trouble on the outside but he milks the referee’s count for all it’s worth before coming back inside. Vader misses a splash and Halme gets his first advantage with some hard elbows and stomps. A back elbow and running clothesline get two for Tony and a top rope clothesline sends Vader to the apron.

More shots to the ribs have Vader in trouble but he just blasts Halme in the face and sits on him. Simple yet effective. The standing splash puts Halme down again and some hard clotheslines have him rocked. He starts no selling and says bring it on, so Vader runs him over again. A pair of splashes get two but Vader misses a cannonball down onto Halme’s chest, letting Tony grab a quick cover for the upset pin.

Rating: C. Surprising ending aside, this was one heck of a slugout with both guys beating the tar out of each other. Early 90s Vader is as good of a monster as you’ll ever find and it’s a treat to see him just punch people in the face. The ending was really surprising and sucked the air out of the crowd which isn’t a good thing most of the time.

Halme’s Japanese stuff was good enough to get him hired by the WWF with his first prominent match being held at Summerslam 1993.

Marty Jannetty vs. Ludvig Borga

Borga is basically the original Antonio Cesaro but from Finland. Marty fires away to start but gets punched in the corner by the former boxer. A hard clothesline puts Jannetty down before Borga throws him into the air for an uppercut (much like Cesaro). More punches in the corner have Jannetty in trouble and a clothesline stops his comeback dead. Borga blows his nose on Jannetty before putting on a bearhug. Marty escapes and makes a quick comeback with a pair of superkicks but gets caught in a powerslam and a torture rack for the submission.

Rating: D-. This was one of the lamer squashes I can remember in a long time. Borga looked slow and limited in the ring but the rack looked good. Other than that though, Borga came off as much more flash than substance. He would get better, but at the end of the day he never quite did anything in the company.

Borga’s anti-American rhetoric made him the perfect opponent for the American Hero Lex Luger, which culminated in a Survivor Series match between the All-Americans and the Foreign Fanatics.

Foreign Fanatics vs. All Americans

Yokozuna, Crush, Ludvig Borga, Jacques

Lex Luger, Undertaker, Steiner Brothers

The Quebecers are the tag champions and have Johnny Raven Polo as their manager. Yoko is world champion. Jacques and Scott start things off and Jacques offers a handshake. Scott says screw you in classic Freakzilla style. Scott hits a quick belly to belly for two and it’s off to Rick. Jacques brings in Yoko and things slow down almost immediately. Rick hits a clothesline and a shoulder to knock Yoko out to the floor but it doesn’t do much good.

Off to Borga who died in the last year or so. Rick gets knocked to the floor but comes back in off the top with a shoulder for no cover. Borga misses an elbow and Rick goes up again, coming off with a cross body. Borga rolls through it and Rick isn’t moving at all, giving Borga an easy pin. Rick finally starts moving and holds his leg, so I’m thinking that’s a legit injury. Rick can’t stand up on the floor.

Scott comes in next and gets to fight Jacques. Rick eventually limps off on his own power which is a good sign at least. Scott hits a great gorilla press but Crush catches a falling Jacques and I guess that’s a tag. Steiner wants nothing to do with a test of strength so Crush pounds on him a bit. A butterfly powerbomb puts Crush down and apparently Savage is back in the building. Crush kicks Scott down and here’s Macho.

Crush throws Scott down to the floor over the top but he won’t go after Savage. Randy gets sent to the back and the dull match continues as Scott may have hurt his knee on that fall. The knee gets targeted now with Crush firing away some kicks and Savage is coming back AGAIN. Scott dropkicks Crush to the floor and Crush goes after Savage for long enough to draw a countout.

Jacques goes after the injured Scott now with a rear chinlock followed by an elbow to the jaw for two. Scott somehow hits a gorilla press on Jacques and there’s the tag to Lex. He slams Jacques down and drops a middle rope elbow for the elimination. It’s now Lex, Taker and Scott vs. Borga and Yoko. Borga comes in to face the still limping Scott. Taker hasn’t been in the match yet.

Borga pounds on the ribs and whips Scott in the corner so he can clothesline Steiner down. Borga goes up top but gets suplexed back down for two. Yoko comes in and pounds away, but Scott gets in some offense. He tries the freaking Frankensteiner which goes about as well as you would expect it to, resulting in a legdrop from Yoko eliminating Scott to get us down to two on two.

Luger comes in as we’re almost 20 minutes in with no Taker at all yet. Borga, a Finn, waves the Japanese flag. Yoko misses a splash and Lex pounds away, only to get clotheslined down with ease. Off to Borga who runs Luger over again and kicks him in the ribs. Back to Yoko who misses a charge, and it’s FINALLY off to Taker.

Taker hits his running DDT and sits up but a Borga distraction lets Yoko suplex Taker down. There’s the situp and another after a clothesline. A legdrop keeps Taker down and there’s the Banzai, but Yoko goes for another, and Taker moves. A clothesline puts Yoko on the floor and they brawl to a double countout. See you at the Rumble boys. Taker was legally in the match for less than two minutes and forty seconds.

So it’s Lex vs. Borga now and as Taker and Yoko brawl on the floor. Ludvig has taken over and drops a leg on Lex. A side slam puts Lex down for two and Borga gets more two’s off various other power moves. He isn’t covering well though so he isn’t ready to pin Luger yet. A suplex puts Borga down and they clothesline each other. With Cornette distracting the referee, Borga hits Lex with Fuji’s salt bucket for two. Lex gets fired up and hits a powerslam and the loaded forearm for the final pin.

Rating: D+. This didn’t work either. Taker was the main draw of the match and he wasn’t even in there for a tenth of the match. Yoko vs. Taker would go on to screw up two PPVs and Lex would never get the title, basically making the second half of 1993 totally pointless. This match didn’t work at all, and a lot of that is due to the heel lineup. Unless there was an injury or something, I don’t get why Pierre was taken out.

Borga had one more prominent match at a house show in Lowell, Massachusetts on December 14, 1994 which was released on Coliseum Video’s Inside the WWF.

Intercontinental Title: Razor Ramon vs. Ludvig Borga

It’s always interesting to see an arena so small that you can see the walls during the entrances. They talk a lot of trash to start until Borga shoves him around and lifts the very large Razor in the air for a choke. A headlock has Razor in more trouble and a hard shoulder puts the champion down. Ludvig easily wins a test of strength but Razor comes back with some kicks to the ribs and a suplex to send Borga running to the floor.

Borga can’t quite suplex Razor to the floor but the champion hooks a suplex of his own for two. A clothesline puts Razor down again but Borga misses an elbow. Razor comes back with right hands but gets caught by a jumping clothesline. Borga follows up with the clothesline’s top rope cousin for a shocking three count but Razor’s foot was on the ropes. Razor can barely move so Ludvig picks him up for a side slam, only to miss a charge into the corner and get suplexed down for two.

A belly to back superplex sets up the Razor’s Edge but the referee gets bumped, allowing Shawn Michaels to run in. Dang that’s some serious overbooking for a house show match. Borga covers for the pin and the title, but another referee FINALLY comes out to say what happened, giving Razor the DQ win to keep the title. Side note: there are two title belts now due to Shawn bringing his own. I wonder what that could lead to.

Rating: C-. As mentioned, that was a pretty overbooked match for something at this level. Razor wasn’t really doing much out there but the false finishes had the crowd way into things. That’s one of the cool things about house shows: you can get different finishes like this that play to the crowd in the arena instead of the national audience. It’s very different but very fun.

That’s really about it for Borga. He was only in the WWF about ten months but he’s consistently remembered as a top heel and for good reason. The guy was kind of a combination Antonio Cesaro and Ken Shamrock. He played the evil foreigner to perfection and had the boxing skills to make him a dual threat. Borga would wind up being the Finnish National Boxing Champion, an MMA fighter (0-4 career record) and a member of Parliament. To say he was an interesting guy is an understatement, but his backstage attitude was apparently horrible and people were glad to see him go. I’ve always been a fan and would have loved to see more of him.

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Royal Rumble Count-Up – 1995: Number One Of A Kind

Royal Rumble 1995
Date: January 22, 1995
Location: USF Sun Dome, Tampa, Florida
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

Oh dang it 1995 WWF still exists. This is that year that no one likes to talk about and you have to fly through it as fast as you can or you might risk seeing something on it. The big twist this year is that the intervals in the Rumble are only 60 seconds, so the whole match is like 40 minutes long. The other problem is that Diesel is WWF Champion here. The good news is that he’s facing Bret Hart, one of the two men capable of dragging an awesome match out of him. Let’s get to it.

We open with the big deal about tonight’s show: Pamela Anderson arrives. She’ll be escorting the winner of the Rumble to the ring at Wrestlemania. A bunch of guys arrive to greet her.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Jarrett is challenging and now has the Roadie with him. Razor starts with his usual assortment of punches and a fallaway slam to send Jeff to the floor. After a little toweling off on the floor, Jeff armdrags Razor down and struts. They trade arm holds until Razor gets taken to the mat where Jeff messes with his hair. Careful with the grease there Jeff. Razor gets annoyed and knocks Jeff to the floor for some more Memphis stalling.

Jeff gets back in and is immediately puts in an armbar where Razor can mess with Jarrett’s hair. Some dropkicks floor the champ and a clothesline gets two. Razor catches a boot coming and ducks the enziguri from Jeff, but Razor misses an elbow to keep Jarrett in control. We hit the chinlock followed by a sunset flip by Jeff for two. Another dropkick gets the same and Jarrett is getting frustrated.

Jarrett hooks a sleeper but Razor quickly counters. The counter doesn’t last long though as Jeff hits a swinging neckbreaker for two. Ramon slides behind Jeff in the corner and crotches him on the post to a big pop. We get a messed up (not botched mind you) spot where Razor was going to try a bulldog off the middle rope but Jeff turns around and it had to be a clothesline. Eh no harm no foul. Jeff backdrops Razor to the floor, injuring the champ’s knee. Roadie clips him in the knee and Razor gets counted out.

We won’t get to the rating just yet. Post match Jeff calls Razor a coward for taking the easy way out like that and calls him back into the ring. Razor pulls a Marty McFly and takes the bait, giving us another match.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Razor tries some quick rollups for two but Jeff goes right for the knee to take over. Jeff does his best Ric Flair imitation but as he goes for the third cannonball down onto the leg, Razor kicks him over the top and out to the floor. Back in and Jarrett puts on the Figure Four, putting Razor in a lot of trouble. Razor escapes and starts his comeback with punches and the belly to back superplex but Jeff counters in mid air for two. Razor clotheslines him down and loads up the Edge, but the knee gives out and Jeff rolls him up for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. I always remember liking this match and it holds up pretty well. Memphis stalling isn’t for everyone but it’s a good way of drawing heel heat, which Jeff might as well have been an iceberg for otherwise. Razor was awesome at this point and had good chemistry with Jeff, so this worked pretty well all around. The ending was smart as it was Razor’s trademark ending for house shows, but he would usually win in about 30 seconds with the Razor’s Edge. Nice to see them switch things up here.

Pamela Anderson has been given a lot of gifts from various wrestlers. One of the running gags on this show is that Pamela clearly doesn’t want to be here at all and has these “GET ME OUT OF HERE” looks on her face the whole night. Todd Pettingill tries to hit on her and completely fails of course.

Jeff says it’s time to celebrate.

IRS vs. The Undertaker

This is the start of the Undertaker vs. Million Dollar Team feud which went on FOREVER. The bell rings and we stand around a lot. IRS tries to jump Taker from behind and it goes nowhere. Taker glares him down to the floor and the stalling continues. IRS slides in, gets glared down, and hides on the floor again. Finally we head back in with IRS pounding away and getting kicked in the face for his efforts.

Taker grabs him by the tie and swings him out of the corner, followed by Old School as this is dominance so far. IRS and DiBiase get in an argument on the floor, causing DiBiase to call for some druids. Taker loads up Old School again but the druid shakes the rope and Taker goes down. A clothesline puts Taker on the floor where he beats on the druids a bit before IRS jumps him from behind.

The druids send Taker into the steps and there’s an abdominal stretch by IRS. That goes nowhere so Taker misses an elbow to really slow himself down. IRS hits some basic stuff as the crowd is almost completely silent. Druid interference gets two for IRS and also allows him to escape the Tombstone. A clothesline puts Taker down but he pops up and hits a chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: D. At the end of the day, this was about thirteen minutes of Taker beating up IRS. I mean….did ANYONE buy IRS as a threat to the Dead Man here? That was the problem with the eight month long feud between Taker and DiBiase’s group: no one on the team was a real threat to him at all. Bad match here but that had to be expected.

Post match Taker beats up the druids and has a staredown with King Kong Bundy. During the staring, IRS steals the Urn. There’s the launch of the feud and Bundy beats up Taker for awhile.

Diesel doesn’t have much to say about his match with Bret.

Bret is ready for his chance at the title.

WWF World Title: Diesel vs. Bret Hart

Diesel is defending in case you’re really slow. Bret tries to brawl to start but is almost immediately knocked down by a big shot to the face. A clothesline puts Bret on the floor where he chills for a bit. Back in and Bret goes after the knee like a smart Hitman. He puts on a quick Figure Four and after a good deal of time in it, Diesel gets to the rope. Bret does something you hardly ever see enough: he puts the same hold back on. Why don’t more people do that? He had Diesel in trouble, so why mess with what was working?

Diesel makes the rope again and heads to the floor where Bret hits a suicide dive to have the champ reeling. Diesel shrugs it off and sends Hart into the steps to get a breather. With Bret in the ropes, Diesel hits the running crotch attack to his back. There’s a backbreaker to Bret and Diesel bends him across the knee a bit. Bret fires off some right hands but gets whipped hard into the buckle to stop him cold.

The champ loads up the Jackknife but instead puts Bret on his shoulder for a backbreaker. Why he doesn’t JACKKNIFE HIM WHEN HE HAS THE CHANCE is beyond my intelligence as Bret escapes. A big boot (Diesel’s leg seems fine) puts Bret down for two, but Bret gets a boot up of his own, followed by a middle rope clothesline for two. Hart goes up and Diesel tries to slam him off, but the knee goes out, giving Bret a two count.

The kickout sends Bret to the floor and he pulls Diesel’s legs out for the figure four around the post. Actually scratch that as he ties Diesel’s legs together instead and pounds away. The Five Moves of Doom get two but Diesel grabs a rope to block the Sharpshooter. Bret clotheslines him to the floor but a dive is caught in mid-air. The tall guy rams him into the post and hits the Jackknife in the ring, but Shawn Michaels runs in to break up the count.

Shawn beats on Diesel’s leg which isn’t a DQ for no apparent reason. Shawn and Diesel had split up at Survivor Series if you’re wondering why this beating is happening. We get a ruling that the match must continue to the delight (yes I said delight) of the crowd. Bret goes back to the knee, hooking another Figure Four. Diesel can’t get to the ropes so he hits Bret in the bad ribs to escape. Ah selling, how I love you.

Diesel is all ticked off now and pounds away on Bret in the corner. A gutwrench suplex of all things gets two for the champ but a big boot in the corner misses. Bret wraps Diesel’s leg around the post and blasts it with a chair. There’s the Sharpshooter but now it’s Owen coming in for the save and a beatdown on Bret. I would say there’s a great tag match in there, but Bret and Shawn teaming up would mean the end of the world as we know it.

The match is going to continue AGAIN though and Diesel gets two on Bret. The place is starting to lose its minds over these near falls. Bret sends him into the buckle that Owen exposed and pounds away as Diesel is rocking again. Diesel comes back AGAIN with elbows and forearms to the face before punching Bret into the ropes where Hart’s legs are caught. Bret is holding his knee but you never know with him.

Yep, he stands up and lays back down in some classic Hart goldbricking. Diesel goes for the Jackknife but Bret fakes him into a small package for two. Bret tries an O’Connor Roll and the referee is bumped. Backlund, Michaels, Roadie and Jarrett run in and that’s FINALLY enough for the double DQ.

Rating: A. These two had MAD chemistry together and this was no exception. They knew how to work the David vs. Goliath (I’m not sure how fair it is to call Bret David actually) formula to perfection and the matches were great as a result. Why the company kept going with Diesel vs. power guys is beyond me, because his best stuff comes against small guys like Bret and Shawn and always has.

Backlund stays in the ring and puts the Crossface Chicken Wing on Bret. This set up their I Quit match at Mania which even Bret admits sucked. Diesel makes the save and hugs Bret.

More Pettingill and Anderson stuff.

Bob Holly and 1-2-3 Kid are excited to be in the finals of the tag team title tournament.

Tag Titles: Bob Holly/1-2-3 Kid vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Tatanka

Shawn and Diesel split up and we needed champions. Holly and Tatanka start things off with Tatanka hitting a side slam for two. Holly comes back with a slam and a few dropkicks as this is going nowhere so far. Off to the Kid vs. Bigelow, with the big man running over both of the smaller guys with ease. Bigelow LAUNCHES Kid into the air but gets caught in a rana to send Bam Bam rolling.

Back to Tatanka who whips Kid into the buckles a few times before it’s off to Bigelow to pound on the small guy some more. In something that actually impressed me, Kid backdrops Bigelow to the floor. Both small guys try top rope cross bodies but they escape and dropkick the heels together. Things settle down with Tatanka beating on Holly for a LONG time. Bigelow comes in, allowing Tatanka to distract the Kid. Holly goes to the corner to find no partner and Bigelow splashes Bob.

Holly gets beaten down so badly that he goes to the wrong corner and tags in Tatanka. Thank goodness this isn’t the Attitude Era because it probably would have been legal in some of their matches. Tatanka comes in for more beating on Holly until Bob FINALLY gets in a clothesline for the hot tag to the Kid. Everything breaks down and Kid is LAUNCHED to the floor by Bigelow. Bam Bam loads up the moonsault but Tatanka accidentally hits the ropes to knock him to the mat. Somehow that’s enough for the pin and the titles for the Kid.

Rating: C+. This went nearly sixteen minutes which was just too long. It’s quite good but it would have been great if they cut off five minutes or so. Those launches by Bigelow were awesome looking as Kid continues to be an excellent seller of moves like those. The idea was that it was all Bigelow’s fault, even though Tatanka is totally to blame for Bigelow crashing like that. The Gunns would win the titles back the next night on Raw, making this whole thing pretty pointless.

Post match DiBiase and Tatanka leave Bigelow in the ring, where Lawrence Taylor, NFL legend, laughs at him. Bigelow shoves him down, and there’s Wrestlemania people.

We get a recap of the 94 Rumble, focusing on Diesel’s dominance and Shawn helping to eliminate him.

Shawn laughs a bit.

We look at the ending to the match from last year.

Luger says he wants the title. Lex, it’s been over for you for like eight months now. Let it go dude.

Vince apologizes to Lawrence Taylor.

Here’s Pamela Anderson to watch the Rumble at ringside and MAN does she look miserable.

Royal Rumble

Shawn is #1 and Bulldog is #2. Shawn immediately jumps Bulldog but this isn’t going to last long. Remember there are one minute intervals, which was just a bad idea in general. Smith gets a quick gorilla press, but why throw Shawn OUT when you can just slam him? That clearly won’t come back to haunt him later or anything of course. Smith charges into a boot and here’s Eli Blu (one of the Harris Brothers, who were the big bald bikers who were around for WAY too long) at #3.

Nothing happens so here’s Duke Droese (a wrestling garbageman) at #4. Eli fights Smith and Droese squeezes Shawn until Jimmy Del Ray of the Heavenly Bodies is #5. Nothing continues to happen because there isn’t enough time between entries. Sione (Barbarian) of the Headshrinkers is #6 as Del Ray is tossed out. Tom Prichard of the Heavyenly Bodies is #7 and STILL nothing is happening.

Doink is #8 as the Rumble is going way too fast. It’s like the original Rumble: not enough names to care about and nothing going on at the same time. Kwang is #9 and Rick Martel is #10, I believe in his last WWF match. There are nine people in the ring right now. Shawn is almost out but fights off Kwang to survive. Owen Hart is in at #11 and here’s Bret to jump him in the aisle. Owen survives and climbs in, only to be eliminated in three seconds.

Shawn puts out Droese and Timothy Well (partners with Steven Dunn in the tag team of Well Dunn) is #12 and is out almost immediately. Martel and Prichard go out faster than I can see them and Kwang superkicks Doink out. Luke of the Bushwhackers is #13 and during his entrance, everyone but Bulldog and Shawn are gone. Literally, four people were put out inside of six seconds. Luke is out almost immediately and it’s Shawn vs. Bulldog again.

Here’s Jacob Blu at #14 and HE TOO is gone in like fifteen seconds. This is so stupid. King Kong Bundy is #15 and he beats on both guys for about twenty seconds before it’s Mo at #16. Mo is like the fifth guy to last less than thirty seconds. If your roster is this weak, CUT THE FREAKING MATCH DOWN. Nothing else happens until Mable is #17 for the showdown with Bundy. Mabel dumps him out as Butch is #18 and is gone in less than 20 seconds as well. More on this later.

Lex Luger is #19 and he goes right for Mabel for no apparent reason. He eliminates the fat purple and gold dude before gorilla pressing Michaels down like an idiot. Mantaur, a stupid monster character, is #20. He beats on Luger and Bulldog until Aldo Montoya (Justin Credible with a jockstrap on his face) is #21. Henry Godwinn is #22 as we’re waiting on a bunch of people to get thrown out so everyone can go home. I think this is one of Henry’s first matches.

Billy Gunn is #23 so naturally Bart Gunn is #24. Bob Backlund is #25 and also lasts about fifteen seconds due to a Bret Hart attack. Steven Dunn is #26 as there are like ten people in there. Bret and Backlund fight in the aisle again and old man Dick Murdoch is #27. Mantaur misses a charge at Bart and Adam Bomb is #28. For the second year in a row, Vince decides Adam Bomb is going to win the Rumble. Seriously.

Fatu is #29 and Luger eliminates Mantaur. Crush is #30, giving us a final group of Shawn, Bulldog, Luger, Montoya, Godwinn, Bart, Billy, Dunn, Murdoch, Bomb, Fatu and Crush, or WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE. Thankfully Crush immediately eliminates the Gunns to clear the ring out a bit. We cut to Anderson who gives a very uninterested wave and points to the ring. You know, because this is SO beneath her. Well, not beneath her enough to give the check back or anything but you get the idea.

Dunn is put out off camera and Murdoch almost puts Shawn out. Luger makes the save due to a lack of intelligence as Murdoch tries headbutts on Fatu. Naturally it doesn’t work at all because YOU DON’T HEADBUTT A SAMOAN. Bomb is backdropped out and Shawn throwsn Montoya out. Luger saves Shawn AGAIN and Crush eliminates Fatu. There are six guys left: Murdoch (who hits a dropkick and airplane spin on Godwinn), Godwinn, Shawn, Bulldog, Crush and Luger.

Murdoch gets dizzy from the spin and falls out to get us down to five. Lex dumps Godwinn and we’ve got four left. Michaels and Crush double team Luger as Bulldog gets a breather. They dump Lex and we’ve got three guys left. Smith gets double teamed until Shawn turns on Crush and is lifted into the air. Bulldog uses the distraction to eliminate Crush and it’s one on one. Davey destroys Shawn and presses him onto (not over. That would make sense) the top rope. Shawn is knocked over the top, but in the famous finish, he hangs on and ONLY ONE FOOT touches, allowing Shawn to come back in and eliminate Smith to win.

Rating: D. This is a hard one to grade, because the stuff that was decent was in fact decent. The problem is there wasn’t much stuff that falls into that category. First and foremost, SEVEN PEOPLE OUT OF THIRTY did not last thirty seconds. If they’re that meaningless to the match, simply do not put them in the Rumble. It looks stupid and there’s no reason to have them out there.

Second, the time intervals. These were a major issues because there’s no time to get ANYTHING going in the match. When you count ten seconds or so to get into the ring (some people take up to twenty), you’re looking at about 45 seconds of action with the new guy before someone else comes out. That’s just not enough time to get anything going at all.

Third, and this is probably the biggest problem of the match, look at the roster here. At a glance, I see four people with actual chances to win: Crush, Luger (they’re both BIG stretches), Bulldog, and Shawn. After that there’s Owen Hart but he was one of the guys that didn’t make it thirty seconds in the ring.

Then you’re looking at guys like Montoya and Well Dunn and the Bushwhackers (who amazingly still had jobs in 1995) and the Heavenly Bodies (by my count there were five tag teams in here, or one third of the match. WAY too many guys at that level) and Dick freaking Murdoch. This is a match that was BEGGING for a midcard to come in and fill in some spots. Guys like Ramon and Jarrett and Bigelow and Tatanka would have helped this match a ton, but instead we get all these fillers. That’s a big reason why this didn’t work.

Anderson poses with Shawn to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a hard one to grade because as good as the world title match is, the Rumble sucks it right back down. IRS vs. Taker isn’t anything good but it’s much more boring than bad. The opener and tag matches are good so I can’t complain much there. 1995 would be AWFUL for the most part though, mainly due to all of the problems you could see coming in the Rumble. Still though, not an awful show by any stretch and it has a great world title match.

Ratings Comparison

Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Original: B+

Redo: C+

Undertaker vs. IRS

Original: D

Redo: D

Bret Hart vs. Diesel

Original: B-

Redo: A

Bob Holly/1-2-3 Kid vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Tatanka

Original: D+

Redo: C+

Royal Rumble

Original: D+

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: C+

What in the world was I thinking on the title match? It was great.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/14/royal-rumble-count-up-1995/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

 

 

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Wrestler of the Day – January 5: Jeep Swenson

It was either this or Bull Buchanan.Jeep Swenson was an actor, best known for playing Bane in Batman and Robin,  and wrestler in WCCW.  He never accomplished much but he was brought back in 1996 for a single match: the Doomsday Cage Match at Uncensored 1996.  If you’ve never seen this, I urge you to get together with some wrestling friends who like to have a good time and hold a viewing.  If there has ever been a more over the top, insane and completely ridiculous match, I’ve yet to see it.  This is also my favorite match review I’ve ever written.

 

We recap the feud with Hogan and Savage against the Alliance. More or less what happened was simple: the Alliance challenged Hogan to a 4-1 cage match, but WCW wised up and realized Hogan carrying a match like that could expose him too much, so they threw Savage in there too.

Now, how did the Alliance put out this challenge? Was it by beating down Hogan? Was it by destroying something he held dear and valuable? Was it by making threats to his family and home? Nope to all three. They sent him a telegram. Let me repeat that. The feud and match were set by a group sending Hogan a telegram. That’s so freaking stupid I can’t even make fun of it. I truly can’t.

They sent him a telegram. I can’t get over that. Something else I notice: there hasn’t been a single mention of Randy Savage all show. It’s been nothing but Hogan. The team is known as the Alliance to End Hulkamania. In the build up from the announcers there’s no mention of Savage. What in the world is wrong with these people? Why am I trying to figure that out?

Doomsday Cage Match: Hogan/SAVAGE vs. Alliance to End Hulkamania

The Alliance is Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, Meng, Barbarian, Lex Luger, Taskmaster (Kevin Sullivan), Z-Gangsta (Zeus from the late 80s) and Ultimate Solution (big fat strong guy that never did anything other of note in wrestling. He did play Bane in Batman and Robin though in case anyone is interested.) Now you might be wondering how this is going to work.

Well until about 3 minutes before the bell rings, so was everyone else. Literally, they didn’t know what they were going to do until the day of the show. That’s your brilliant wrestling company at work. The idea would be this. You have a ring with three cages on top of it. In other words, there’s a ring with a cage over it that’s very tall and has a top of in. The top of that cage is the floor of a second cage. That cage has six sides, all made of cage.

There’s ANOTHER of those on top. The match starts up at the top for no apparent reason. The idea is that it’s more or less a gauntlet match. There’s two guys on top, four in the middle cage and two in the bottom cage and Hogan and Savage have to win in all three cages. Yep, that’s it.

In a match that’s supposed to be all about violence and called a Doomsday match, we have a freaking gauntlet with regular pins and submissions. Let’s get to this. Michael Buffer is in the ring doing introductions for this as I have a feeling that this is going to take a LONG time.

He asks if they’re ready. He asks it again. I wonder if they’re going to break it down after the match. The cage I mean. Oh Brian Pillman is supposed to be in this but he’s left for ECW at this time where he would be for all of a day or so and then on to WWF. Flair comes out sans belt or any acknowledgement that he’s champion so you can see where the priorities are.

Oh we also have to wait for them to all climb up the steps to get to their cages too. Barbarian has been banned from wrestling in most countries in the world too. You learn something new every day. Zeus (I refuse to refer to him as Z-Gangsta more than I have to) and Ultimate Solution aren’t here yet. His original name was Final Solution. I’ll give you two guesses as to how that went.

So we’re starting with Anderson and Flair at the top so we’re starting with the Mega Powers vs. Anderson and Flair. Tell me, what’s wrong with that as a main event? I’d like that FAR better. Luger left WWF for this. That’s just sad. They finally just give up and call Hogan a superhero. Naturally the camera follows him up the stairs as my fear of heights is kicking in.

Dusty says the fans have been waiting for days in and around this building. Just go with it. Once they finally reach the top we start immediately and also immediately we see the massive problem: the fans can’t see a stupid thing. They’re about thirty feet from the ground (which of course hits as high as 65 so far according to Brain) and the lighting is awful.

Also, this is before the days of the Titantron. If they had that, this would be ok. No actually it wouldn’t be but it would have been better. The people watching the PPV from home have a hard time seeing this so imagine what it’s like for the fans there. They’re dead quiet too after the opening maybe 10 seconds because reality has set in. Oh Arn is wearing a full black body suit for no apparent reason.

Heenan says what I think might have been hidden jabs at WCW by saying “What a great thing for television!” and “Only here in WCW!” Those are either fed to him or shots at the brilliant minds who came up with this. Actually no. They’re not worthy of sarcastic praise. They’re freaking idiots. I mean seriously, WHAT ARE THEY THINKING???

If you’re going to do a cage match, fine. If you’re going to do a big cage match, fine. If you’re going to do a gauntlet cage match, that’s fine too. Actually that’s kind of an interesting concept. However, DO IT WHERE THE PEOPLE CAN SEE IT. My goodness how hard of a concept is that? What’s the most important aspect of any show? How about being able to see it?

The fans here might be able to make out someone next to one side of the cage but other than that, nothing. And don’t even bother staying if you sit across the arena and don’t have binoculars because you’re screwed. Sting and Booker won the main event already. I can’t get over how ridiculous this is. Seriously who thought this was a good idea?

Oh and there’s a referee up there too even though it’s Uncensored and therefore unsanctioned. There’s also a massive pole in the middle in case Hogan wants to shoot a Brooke Hogan video up there. They go to a wide shot to just further show how stupid this is. We can hear the wrestlers talking which is usually covered up by the crowd.

Maybe they can see as there’s a pop for Hogan ripping the shirt off. Heenan says this is better than the World Series or the Super Bowl. Yes it does Bobby, yes it does. Hey we’ve hit 70 feet in the air! Heenan redeems himself a bit with the line of all a manager can do here is hope they have a client in the morning. We get a random reference to some woman named Becky in Denver. Ok then.

Tony sums up the match perfectly: the fans wanted to know what the Doomsday Cage was so they’re finding out here. Well thanks for that Tony. In other words, we’re going to throw out a cool sounding name and say Hogan is in it against a bunch of guys that we’re only going to vaguely mention and say to find out, pay up. Once you hook them, you don’t have to do anything.

They did the same thing with the Elimination Chamber in 2002, but the difference was that match wasn’t bad. It certainly wasn’t great but I’ve seen far worse matches. Exhibit A is being reviewed at the moment. In the ultra violent match, we get double figure fours.

Heenan’s comedy is all that’s holding the pieces of this in place. Notice I didn’t say together but just in place as they would likely want to run away and join a witness protection program or something. Zeus and Solution didn’t wrestle again after this. They were the smart ones I guess.

Dusty says if you have a chain length fence (who doesn’t?) just go lay on it to see what this is like. Bobby: Then call your neighbor over and slap the figure four on him! Then put the figure eight on your Doberman! Bobby Heenan, I love you very much.  You need massive amounts of therapy and medication, but I love you.

Flair drops something from one cage to the other which is never explained or mentioned again. My guess would be the will of Flair’s career since it’s dead at this point. Hogan and Savage throw powder, which is likely the remains of the cocaine they needed to agree to this.

They go through a trapdoor to get to the next cage, and Anderson and Flair are eliminated. WOW. Ok so wait. All they had to do was get through a door? They didn’t have to pin someone or get a tap out but just go through a door? Ladies and gentlemen, I’m done. I’m going to stop trying to make sense of this match and that’s all there is to it.

This just doesn’t make sense at all but for some reason they insist that it does. Bobby says Boris Karloff would love this. Not really but ok. Hogan has a chain and beats on Sullivan with it. They’re down about 12 feet now so the crowd is a bit more into it. It’s the Faces of Fear (Meng and Barbarian) on Savage and Luger and Sullivan on Hogan.

This room has a door in the middle of it so it’s like two small cages. Actually there’s a reason for it though which will come up in a minute. After being beaten on by two grown men and a steel chain, Hogan is fine and manages to get the chain away to lock the door (which didn’t have a lock before but whatever) and trap Meng and Barbarian inside.

A shot of the cage from the floor makes this look a lot better as in essence they’re fighting on top of a regular cage. That’s not bad I guess. Anderson and Flair drop to the second cage and are trapped as well. Where’s my wah wah music when I need it? Heenan says it’s a maze with no way in or out.

Yep other than the doors they came in through, the doors they leave through or the path that the referee points them through to get to the end. Speaking of doors they go out of one and fight on the stairs which is kind of scary when you think about it as there’s no wall to save them there.

Sullivan is actually over halfway out as Heenan says that he’ll be spam if he hits. I’ll infract him if he does. I don’t want any freaking spam in my reviews. Savage and Luger are still in the cage by the way. According to Brain everyone is on their feet. They have to be to see this I suppose. They’re more or less quiet by the way.

Luger gets loose and we’re out on the floor. Yep, they got out of the cage and while the rules stated earlier in the match said that Hogan and Savage just needed to get down to win, they apparently are going to keep going. Hey, we’re having a Doomsday Cage Match, so let’s fight in the ring!

Yep, they’re fighting in the ring. Luger and Savage are fighting by the cage with Hogan and Sullivan in the ring. The four guys in the upper cage break out and head down the cage. Now this could be cool: Hogan and Savage 6-2 in the arena. Well ok I can go with that as at least its easier to see.

It’s more or less the same thing as the previous match but…that’s….why are the other four just leaving? They just walked back to the dressing room. Anderson and Flair are supposed to, but the Faces of Fear are still in this legally, but who cares about that? That would MAKE SENSE! Hogan is beating on Luger in the ring while Savage is having boards thrown at him.

Apparently the Faces of Fear have been eliminated. Oh ok I think I’ve got it now: the rules are as follows. Hogan and Savage had to go to the top of the cage where they had to either pin or get a submission from Flair and Anderson but they were allowed to have an alternate way of winning because Hogan made a large donation to the Save the Wombat Foundation.

Next up they had to get pins or submissions on some combination of the Faces of Fear, Sullivan or Luger, but they were able to lock the Faces of Fear into a cage and therefore receive a Federal credit for preventing an international assault and battery charge since both men are international ambassadors sent by the King of Tonga to study wrestling (that’s actually not made up if you can believe that. That’s legit true).

Now at the beginning the rules stated that they simply had to get to the floor to win, however there was a clause stating that if there was a high percentage (17 or greater) of time spent on discussing the social habits of Bulgarian monks in the 15th century by the four in the second cage during the battle in the first cage, then simply getting to the floor wouldn’t be classified as a win.

In that case a pin in the other ring would work. However, that won’t work either because Lex Luger’s lawyers feel that the population of fire ants in this match were misrepresented so therefore a simple pin in the ring won’t work either, and the final two members of the Alliance to End Hulkamania, which has founded new chapters in Laos, Manhattan and the North Pole, fighting off the evils of Hulk-Chi-Min, Hulk Maritoni and Hulk-a-Claus, must be equally represented in this match, which must end via pinfall in the original ring.

HOWEVER, it will be allowed for former members of the Alliance to reenter the match under the Columbus Act which also founded Ohio in 1776, but also said that wrestlers were unlawfully evicted from the match via an international treaty can be allowed to return. ANYWAY, now that we’re back to the match, let’s continue here but I need to make sure this remains logical. It’s very important to keep that going here.

They’re all at the ring now and we have more bad chair shots. I love how the graphic under the split screen says Doomsday Cage Match despite a significant lack of cage. Here’s Ultimate Solution and Zeus. According to the clause listed above, we head back to the original cage for the showdown. Yep, it’s Hogan and Savage in a no tag tag-team match against two big strong guys. How do they come up with these things? Sullivan is lurking around as I feel he needs to register. I’m sure there’s something in this match for him too. There must be a tournament somewhere.

As if this wasn’t riveting enough, we hit a bear hug. Hey now, it’s time for the rematch of the match that didn’t happen seven years ago in another company that we’re not going to mention but imply that everyone knows anyway because that’s how we roll.

Ultimate Solution (hereafter known as porkchop for no other reason than I have the Doug song in my head) picks up Savage and has him in position for a slam, prompting Dusty to wonder what he’s going to do with him. Heenan says that he picked Savage up like a 100lb infant. Tony says there’s no winning or losing but only surviving. Yeah I’d agree.

Whose career can survive this match? Here’s Arn and Flair again as apparently their plan to eliminate Hulkamania is just to stomp them and punch them and slam them a lot. Yep, that’s the epic plan. Tony is holding out hope despite a few seconds before saying it’s hopeless.

I love that top level journalism there Tony! Keep it up and one day you might be able to get a better job like selling meat from a truck in Minneapolis! They actually argue over how many people are in there against Hogan and Savage. To get off of that we point out that this started with a telegram. Somehow that’s an improvement.

Naturally they ask if Hulkamania can survive instead of Hogan and Savage. It amazes me that he got so little respect over the years. He was nuts, but dang could he wrestle. In one of the best unintentionally funny moments I can ever remember, the powder that Hogan and Savage have spills out and within 5 seconds Brutus is there to help them. That’s just greatness.

Also they’re almost face down in it. Could this get any funnier? Now the interesting part is what Brutus does for them. He brings them weapons to even the odds, instead of actually sticking around to help fight like a friend would. Nope he brought them something to help them fight off the forces of evil. What does he bring? Does he bring brass knuckles?

Maybe a club? Perhaps a couple of chairs? Nope. He brings frying pans. Brutus Beefcake brings a pair of frying pans to help save his friends. Where in the world do I start? Let’s see: how about WHY DID HE HAVE FRYING PANS??? Was he making bacon in the back or something? Does he tend to carry cookware around with him? Did the barber shop fall through? I guess he couldn’t repair the window after Shawn broke it so he became a chef.

Somehow, that is the most logical thing I’ve said all night. There’s five minutes left so let’s get through this if we can. Luger comes back in with a glove that they imply is loaded. He sets to hit Savage but Macho ducks (that sounds like an upgrade to Duck Hunter) and Luger stops, but then starts again to hit Flair and turn face I guess.

Hogan and Savage turn to leave but Savage runs back in and pins Flair while everyone else kind of stands around and lets it happen. WOW. So did they forget the whole pin thing too I suppose? Heenan is ticked off and leaves and we’re finally done.

Rating: -F. This is below an F. We’ve gone so low that we’ve went past Z (which stands for Zeus not Z-Gangsta blast it) and we’ve reached negative letters. That’s how insane this was. I mean it made no sense, the rules I laid out might as well have been the real ones because nothing stayed the same as it was in the beginning, you couldn’t see a stupid thing if you were in the audience, the match was exactly the same thing that it had always been with Hogan surviving, and the plan was just to beat them up a lot? Take note fans: never, I mean never, send a telegram in your life. You can see what it can lead to.

 

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Royal Rumble Count-Up – 1994: Vince Russo Would Think This Is Too Much

Royal Rumble 1994
Date: January 22, 1994
Location: Providence Civic Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Attendance: 14,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Ted DiBiase

This is one of those shows where the good stuff is good but the bad stuff is REALLY bad. The main idea here is that someone has to stop Yokozuna, and it’s going to be one of three people: Bret Hart or Lex Luger who could get the shot by winning the Rumble, or the Undertaker who has a casket match against Yoko tonight for the title. Oh….this is going to be a long night. Let’s get to it.

Vince is on commentary here and gets to do his carnival barker stuff. The guy knows how to make a show sound exciting, I have to give him that. DiBiase comes out to do commentary with McMahon due to having to retire late in 1993 due to a bunch of injuries.

Tatanka vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Bigelow is in Ludvig Borga’s spot because Borga broke his ankle. Bigelow pounds on Tatanka to start and dropkicks him into the corner. Tatanka literally bounces off of Bigelow before coming back with a chop to take Bigelow down. A DDT puts Bam Bam down again but Tatanka goes up for a cross body, missing Bigelow by a mile. This is a REALLY hot start so far. Bigelow crushes Tatanka in the corner with a splash and things slow down somewhat.

Tatanka gets in a shot to the head and tries a top rope sunset flip, only to have Bam Bam sit on him. When all else fails, sit on the other guy. Off to a bearhug for about two minutes before Bigelow drops him with a shoulder block. Tatanka starts his war path thing so Bam Bam decks him in the head with an enziguri to drop him. The moonsault misses though and Tatanka goes up again, this time hitting the cross body for the pin.

Rating: C+. Shockingly hot opener here and if you cut the bear hug in half or so, this is a really solid match. They stuck to the formula really well here and the match was good as a result. This is one of the nice surprises in wrestling: on paper this sounded horrible but it turned out to be a pretty nice match. Good opener.

We recap the tag title match, which is a rare instance where it’s all about the challengers rather than the champions. Owen Hart was the only Hart Brother eliminated in the Survivor Series match against Shawn and his Knights, which ticked him off. Owen had been whipped into Bret on the apron and the distraction let Shawn roll Owen up for the pin.

This caused Owen to cut a heel promo, talking about how he was tired of being in Bret’s shadow and wanting a match with him to escape it. Bret of course said no, but instead offered to team up with Owen to get his brother his first championship. Owen talked about leading the team but seemed genuinely ok at this point. For some reason we also see the Quebecers losing the tag titles to the 1-2-3 Kid and Marty Jannetty for a single week for some reason.

The Harts talk about all the teams they’re going to give title shots to once they win the belts tonight.

Tag Titles: Bret Hart/Owen Hart vs. Quebecers

The Quebecers are managed by Johnny Polo, who would change his name to Raven in ECW. Pierre and Bret start things off with the challenger taking over. Off to Owen to work on the arm with his signature spinning counter to a wristlock. Off to Jacques and they botch something, but Owen hits a quick suplex to keep things on track. An enziguri gets two for Owen and it’s back to Bret.

After a bunch of rollups by Bret, everything breaks down and the Quebecers take over. Actually scratch that as Owen hits a kind of spear into a rollup for two and the Harts stand tall. It’s Bret vs. Jacques with Hart in control until it’s back to Owen for a gutwrench suplex for two. Bret comes back in, only to get powerslammed down by Pierre. A pair of knees to the back gets two and it’s back to Jacques.

That goes nowhere so Pierre comes in to jump into a boot. Owen comes back in and belly to bellys Jacques down before hooking the Sharpshooter. Pierre bulldogs Owen down for a fast save of course and it’s back to Pierre legally. Owen dropkicks both Quebecers down and it’s off to Bret again. For some reason both champions are allowed to stay in the ring for way too long. Pierre is atomic dropped to the floor, and now we get to the turning point of the match: Johnny Polo holds the ropes open to send Bret to the floor. Bret comes up holding his knee and he’s in big trouble.

Pierre rams the knee into the barricade to further the damage and the match turns into a kind of sloppy brawl on the floor. Owen finally throws Bret back into the ring and the leg work begins. Jacques puts on a half crab but Owen makes a fast save. The champions load up the Cannonball (kind of an aided Swanton) but Bret rolls away. Instead of tagging though, Bret tries the Sharpshooter….and the referee stops the match for the knee injury.

Rating: B-. This is one of those matches where you can look at it in multiple ways. From a match standpoint, it’s a standard tag match with the faces and heels doing exactly what they would be expected to do. On the other hand, the idea here was about setting up Owen’s heel turn, and the ending does that perfectly. There was no reason for Bret to not tag at the end and it sets Owen off as it should.

Post match Owen glares at Bret and paces back and forth. Bret manages to pull himself up but can barely stand up. Owen kicks the leg out, officially turning heel to HUGE booing. He leaves so here are some officials to come check on Bret. Ray Rougeau, a reporter for WWF at this point, comes out to interview Bret while he’s on his back in agony. For some reason that cracks me up.

Owen is in the back and goes on a huge tirade about how selfish Bret is and how Bret cost him the biggest match of his career. Bret is being carried to the back and has to watch this promo on the video screen. Owen’s face here is great as he unleashes all this pent up anger and frustration on Bret, saying he’ll win the Rumble because he doesn’t have to count on Bret. This would be the top feud for the next eight months or so.

Intercontinental Title: IRS vs. Razor Ramon

Guess who is defending here. JR and Gorilla Monsoon do commentary for this match. IRS goes on a big rant about how evil the crowd here is for not paying their taxes, even though they have about three months left to file. Razor goes off on IRS to start, knocking him out to the floor. IRS comes back with some forearms but Razor punches him right back down to take over again.

Ramon hits a bunch of basic stuff like atomic drops and clotheslines for some two counts, but IRS ducks under a clothesline to send Razor out to the floor. Back in and IRS goes up but jumps into a boot. For one of the only times I can EVER remember this happening, IRS avoids the foot and drops an elbow for two instead. WHY IS THAT SO HARD FOR PEOPLE TO DO???

We hit the chinlock for well over a minute before Razor fights up and hits the fallaway slam. The referee gets knocked out in the corner and IRS grabs his briefcase, only for Razor to take it back and clock him in the head with it. No referee though, so Razor loads up a belly to back superplex. There’s still no referee, so Razor sets for the Edge, only to have Shawn run out and clock him with the fake IC Title. IRS finally wakes up and pins Razor for the title.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t bad but the overbooking hurt it a lot. This should have lasted about three minutes less and it would have been a lot better. Oddly enough I don’t remember IRS being champion at all, but then again this is the remastered version so maybe they really cleaned things up.

Or maybe another referee comes out to explain the interference and the match is restarted. Razor hits the Edge to retain.

Bearer and Undertaker are making a coffin for Yoko.

We recap the world title match, which is Yoko being scared of Taker and Taker being one of the last hopes to stop the monster. Apparently the contract was signed before Yoko and company knew it was a casket match. Taker I believe debuted his popping out of the casket spot in this feud.

WWF World Title: The Undertaker vs. Yokozuna

They stare each other down to start and Taker fires off his uppercuts to stagger the champion. A clothesline puts Yoko down and another uppercut puts Yoko on the floor. Taker is sent into the steps and it’s immediately no sold, scaring Yoko to death again. There’s Old School but the jumping clothesline misses as Yoko ducks. Why does no one else ever think of doing that?

They fight over a chair on the floor which winds up going upside Yoko’s head. There’s a plastic chair to the back of the champion but Yoko grabs the trusty salt to blind Taker. Now it’s Taker’s back getting hit with the chair and we head back inside. A clothesline puts Taker down but he fights out of the casket. Taker wins a slugout in the middle of the ring but Yoko belly to belly suplexes him down. Come on. You know that’s not holding him down. Taker pops up and grabs Yoko by the throat and hits a DDT to put the champion down again.

Yoko is placed in the casket but here’s Crush to block Taker from closing it. Taker slugs him down so here’s Great Kabuki and Tenryu but Taker beats them down as well. Yoko is still out cold in the casket. Bam Bam Bigelow comes in now and it’s 4-1 in the ring. One has to wonder why Paul Bearer doesn’t go over and close the casket but this match doesn’t seem to be the most logical one. Fuji and Cornette have stolen the Urn.

Yoko finally gets out of the casket as Bearer beats up Fuji and Cornette, stealing the Urn back. He uses it to recharge Taker, who fights off all four mercenaries. Now it’s Adam Bomb to make it technically 8-1 but Taker fights everyone off with the salt bucket. Jeff Jarrett comes in as well, as do the Headshrinkers. That makes it NINE wrestlers (Yoko, Crush, Kabuki, Tenryu, Bigelow, Jarrett, Samu, Fatu, Adam Bomb) against Undertaker.

AND HE GETS UP. Diesel comes out and they get Taker in the coffin but he fights ALL OF THEM OFF. Yoko steals the Urn and hits Taker in the head with it before opening the Urn. Green smoke comes out of it and Taker now is powerless. Everyone hits a bunch of moves on him as this goes on WAY too long. After ALL THAT, Taker is put in the coffin and Yoko retains the title.

Rating: F. On a major wrestling show, The Undertaker just fought off ten men until green smoke was released to drain him of his power. I’ve seen Japanese anime that makes more sense than this. Oh and the match itself, as in the one on one part, might have gone about six minutes.

BUT IT GETS WORSE!

The heels all push the coffin away when a gong goes off. Smoke comes out of the casket…..and a FREAKING CAMERA FEED FROM INSIDE THE CASKET POPS UP ON THE SCREEN. Taker says his soul lives in everyone and he can’t be extinguished. He says there’s going to be a rebirth of the Undertaker and he won’t rest in peace. Then electrical noises go off and we get something like an inverse camera shot (as in it’s all in black and white but what is white is black and what is black is white).

Then, to REALLY hammer home the point, the image on the screen starts to rise up through the top of the screen (which should be the top of the casket, meaning it should be ramming into the people that put him in the freaking casket) and A FREAKING BODY RISES OUT OF THE TOP OF THE SCREEN. AS IN A TANGIBLE BODY (which might have been played by Marty Jannetty).

In other words, WWF just said Taker is something like Jesus. Oh and one other thing to really make sure this is stupid: YOU CAN’T SEE IT. All I can see are some quick shots of it when flashes go off. This is one of those things that embarrasses me as a wrestling fan. I mean…..WOW.

The usual Rumble interviews eat up some time.

Royal Rumble

Scott Steiner is #1 and Samu is #2. Also the intervals are every 90 seconds this year so the entrances will come in faster than ever. Scott pounds away to start and hits a butterfly suplex as Samu tries to hang on. He does indeed survive and kills Scott with a clothesline. Rick Steiner is #3 and Samu is in BIG trouble. After some suplexes he’s out very quickly (but not before getting his head caught in the top and middle rope which is always kind of scary looking), giving us the Battle of the Steiners.

That battle literally lasts six seconds as Kwang (Savio Vega in a mask, allegedly Asian here) is #4. Scott suplexes Kwang down and Owen Hart is #5 to BIG heel heat. The heels take over and Owen actually dumps Rick out. That’s one of the rare times where the constant pushing against the ropes worked. Bart Gunn is #6 and things speed up a bit. No one really does anything so here’s Diesel at #7. This is where things pick up as this match is without a doubt Diesel’s coming out party.

He beats on everyone and throws out Bart, Scott, Owen and Kwang inside of 45 seconds. Bob Backlund is #8 and immediately goes for the leg. He actually gets Diesel up against the ropes and upside down, but Diesel will have none of that. Who would believe these two would have a world title match in Madison Square Garden later in the year? Backlund is gone quickly. Billy Gunn is #9 and doesn’t even last fifteen seconds.

We cut to the back where Kabuki and Tenryu are destroying Lex Luger. After Diesel stands around for a bit, he has to throw out Virgil who is #10 in about thirty seconds (causing DiBiase to laugh loudly and get in some good verbal jabs). Note that the fans are LOUDLY chanting for Diesel here, who had NEVER gotten a reaction until this point. No one has been able to stand up to Diesel at all so far. #11 is Randy Savage. This should be a bit better challenge I’d think.

Savage goes right for him and pounds away on the big man in the corner before peppering him with jabs. He has Diesel in trouble but Jeff Jarrett is #12 to save the not yet Big Daddy Cool. We hear about Jarrett wanting to become WWF Champion so he’ll be a famous country singer in Nashville. And people wonder why he never got over until he completely changed everything about his character.

Savage is thrown to the apron by Jarrett but Randy comes back and eliminates Jeff with ease. Crush, who Savage HATES at this point, is #13. Diesel just kind of chills in the corner as Savage beats up Crush. The numbers finally catch up with Savage though until Crush eliminates him with ease. Doink is #14 and he gets beaten up as well but not tossed. Here’s his big rival Bam Bam Bigelow at #15 and it’s 3-1 now. Bigelow easily thorws the clown out ala the Spike Dudley throw from ECW.

Mabel is #16 and dang there are some big guys in there. He goes right for Diesel in a terrifying preview of Summerslam 95. Mabel cleans house until Sparky Plugg (Bob Holly as a racecar driver and debuting here as a replacement for the 1-2-3 Kid) is #17. Shawn Michaels is #18 and stares down Diesel to start. Everyone gets on Diesel and Shawn gives the final push to eliminate him. Diesel gets a VERY audible ovation and chant as he leaves.

Mo, Mabel’s totally useless partner, is #19. Nothing of note happens so here’s Greg Valentine in a one night only appearance at #20. Mabel misses a charge in the corner and Shawn is gorilla pressed by Crush but not eliminated for some reason. Tatanka comes in at #21. To recap we’ve got Plugg, Valentine, Tatanka, Mabel, Bigelow, Crush, Michaels and Mo in there. Valentine puts Michaels on the apron but can’t get him out.

Kabuki is #22 and almost everyone gangs up on Mabel to dump him out. It’s amazing how much easier it is to see with the big fat purple tub of goo out of there. Lex Luger (looking FINE after that attack like 15 minutes ago) is #23 and he cleans house. There are ten people in the ring right now but there goes Kabuki at the hands of Lex. Luger clotheslines Bigelow down and here’s Tenryu at #24.

There are WAY too many people in there right now. Like seriously, do we need FREAKING MO in there? Or Valentine? Those are bodies you could dump out and no one would care. Luger and Tenryu go at it as Shawn is almost dumped out. Bastion Booger is supposed to be #25 but he’s not here for some reason (Vince says it was supposed to be Bret Hart but more on that in a bit). I believe there are nine people in there at the moment so Booger not coming in was a good thing. Granted it was a good thing either way but you get the idea. Rick Martel is #26 and nothing happens.

For your big face pop of the match (other than Diesel): Bret Hart is #27 and limping very badly. Today, people would have a bandage on the knee and charge to the ring because modern wrestling is stupid. Fatu is #28 and DEAR FREAKING GOODNESS THROW SOMEONE OUT ALREADY! A bunch of guys team up and FINALLY throw Crush out as Marty Jannetty is #29. Naturally he goes right for Shawn and punches Shawn to the apron.

Adam Bomb is #30, giving us a ridiculous THIRTEEN FINAL PEOPLE in the Rumble. The final group is Bigelow, Sparky, Shawn, Mo (seriously, FREAKING MO?), Valentine, Tatanka, Luger, Tenryu, Martel, Hart, Fatu, Jannetty and Bomb. Bret saves Shawn (shocking I know) to dump out Sparky, thank goodness. Bret beats on everyone as we still need to get rid of more people. Everyone beats on everyone for awhile and nothing is happening. DiBiase: “The smart thing to do is go after Bret Hart’s knee.” Vince: “The smart thing to do is throw people out of the ring.” Did….did Vince just burn Ted Dibiase?

Martel dumps Valentine but is quickly dumped out by Tatanka. Luger throws out Bomb and Mo is FINALLY put out as well. Bigelow tosses Tatanka and Lex forearms Bam Bam out. Jannetty goes out to get us down to Luger, Hart, Fatu, Tenryu and Shawn. Tenryu rams Shawn and Fatu’s heads together which only hurts Shawn of course. Luger and Bret put out Tenryu and it’s Bret vs. Shawn (duh). Luger goes for Fatu’s head and gets superkicked for being stupid.

The heels put Luger on the apron but he fights them both off and clotheslines Fatu into a 360. Bret dumps Fatu and Luger dumps Shawn and we’re down to two. They slug it out and Luger picks up Bret, but they both fall out at the same time, giving us a double elimination to end the Rumble.

Rating: C+. This is a hard one to grade. The pacing is TERRIBLE with guys like Sparky Plugg and Mo staying in for over twenty minutes each, but the action is solid for the most part. The stuff with Diesel is excellent and it truly made him a star. The ending stuff once they got rid of about seven guys in 90 seconds was good too, but stuff in the middle didn’t work all that well.

Post match there’s a disagreement over who wins but both guys have their music played. This would lead to a somewhat complicated decision where there was a coin toss and two world title matches at Mania. This goes on for about eight minutes or so but it’s just the referees arguing and both guys saying they won. Replays don’t really show us anything either. They do a good job here of making it impossible to tell who won, unlike in 2005 when it was clear that one of them (I want to say Cena) hit first. They’re finally declared co-winners to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show is one where it’s very hard to come up with an overall grade. I really liked the opener and the tag match and Rumble were both good, but when a show has what might be the dumbest moment in wrestling history (and that covers A LOT of stupid moments), it’s brought down a lot. Early 1994 was not a good time for the WWF but once they finally picked Bret as the guy, things got a lot better.

Ratings Comparison

Tatanka vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Original: B

Redo: C+

Quebecers vs. Bret Hart/Owen Hart

Original: A+

Redo: B-

Razor Ramon vs. IRS

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Yokozuna vs. Undertaker

Original: F

Redo: F

Royal Rumble

Original: B

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: C-

DANG I liked this show a lot better on the first viewing.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/13/royal-rumble-count-up-1994/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

 

 

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Thunder – August 13, 1998: The Eraser To Nitro’s Pencil

Thunder
Date: August 13, 1998
Location: Fargodome, Fargo, North Dakota
Attendance: 9,721
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Lee Marshall, Bobby Heenan

We’re coming off the Nitro that should have been Road Wild with the biggest stories being a new US Champion and Goldberg thinking Nash hit him in the back with a chair. I have a problem believing WCW is capable of planning a feud that far in advance so we’ll chalk it up to whatever random idea they’re throwing at us which will likely end up benefiting Hogan. Let’s get to it.

The announcers run down the card for a bit until Scott Hall interrupts. We get the survey with the Wolfpack winning before we go to a break less than five minutes into the broadcast.

Konnan vs. Scott Hall

We start with the stalling and a toothpick throw until Konnan slaps him in the face. Hall drives his shoulder into Konnan over and over before they trade paintbrush slaps to the back of the head. This match already has more energy than almost any match on Thunder in weeks. Hall fakes him out on a test of strength and pops Konnan in the jaw to take over. The fallaway slam gets two and Hall fires off some chops in the corner. This has been one sided so far.

There’s the abdominal stretch with Hall grabbing the ropes like a villain should. Hall finally gets caught and Konnan comes back with the X-Factor but Hall doesn’t even go down. Konnan rams him into the buckle but Scott kicks him low. That doesn’t have much of an effect as Konnan gets two off a small package, only to get caught in the Outsider’s Edge for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was just a step above a squash which is surprising with two bigger names. It’s also strange to see a match ending by pinfall instead of the constant run-ins and inconclusive finishes. While it wasn’t a good match, it was nice to have something definitive for a change around here.

The announcers hype up War Games and wonder how Goldberg will be involved.

Horace vs. Raven

Raven says insubordination will not be tolerated and Horace costing him the triangle match on Saturday was the last straw. He jumps Horace to start and pounds him down in the corner before grabbing the stop sign. Lodi shows a spine and takes it away from him, allowing Horace to kick it into Raven’s face for two. A slam onto the sign and a middle rope splash get two for Horace but he misses a charge into the sign in the corner. Raven throws him to the floor and hits the Russian legsweep into the barricade.

Lodi and Raven head back inside with Raven slapping Lodi in the face. Riggs, Kidman and Sick Boy run in for the beatdown as the bell rings, even though this is Raven’s Rules. Saturn runs in to get the three goons off of Horace but the big man jumps Saturn, setting up a four on one beatdown. Kanyon comes in for the real save and a good pop. I’m assuming the match was thrown out.

Rating: C-. The more I see of guys like Saturn, Horace and especially Kanyon the more impressed I am. The match was too short and had too strange of an ending (Raven’s Rules meaning no DQ remember) to be worth anything but I’m interested in where the story is going so there’s something good there.

Saturn goes after Kanyon for no apparent reason before suplexing Horace down.

Stevie Ray doesn’t want to talk about the TV Title but challenges the Giant to a match next week. That’s quite the step up.

TV Title: Chris Jericho vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Jericho is defending of course. Pepe is taped together after being broken in half on Nitro. Feeling out process to start with Jericho taking Chavo up against the ropes and grabbing the wrist, only to be armdragged down. They trade leapfrogs until Chavo bites Jericho to send him outside. We take a break and come back with a shot of Pepe in the corner as Jericho gets two off the Lionsault.

A suplex sets up the arrogant cover for another two before we hit a surfboard hold on Chavo. Back up and Jericho gets his third straight near fall off a spinwheel kick. Chavo comes back with a running clothesline and a forearm in the corner. A bulldog gets a close two and a rollup gets an even closer one but Jericho goes after Pepe. Chavo freaks out and gets an even thicker Pepe (Tony: “That looks like a Clydesdale!”) to blast Jericho for the DQ.

Rating: C-. This was more about Chavo’s insanity and most of the match felt like it was just killing time until we got to the ending. It’s a good sign for Chavo that his character is working against people other than Eddie. Jericho is his usual good self and his glee in breaking Pepe was very amusing.

After some stills from Hart vs. Luger from Monday, Bret says he’s the best there is, was and ever will be even though the fans are all against him. The only reason Luger beat him was because he caught Bret off guard.

Dancing Fools vs. Public Enemy

Tokyo Magnum is with Disco and Alex. Rocco cranks on Alex’s arm to start as the announcers debate whether the match on Saturday was a street fight or a Sturgis street fight. Rock gets sent to the floor and sent into the barricade with a baseball slide. Back in and Rocco blocks a middle rope ax handle, only to be suplexed down again.

Wright of course stops to dance, allowing Rocco to get his knees up to stop a splash. Off to Disco vs. Grunge but Johnny quickly brings Rocco back in for a double flapjack. Everything breaks down and Rocco is thrown into Disco. A table is brought in but Tokyo Magnum takes the bullet for Alex, allowing Wright to pin Grunge off a neckbreaker.

Rating: D+. This is becoming one of those matches that I do not need to see ever again. We’ve pretty much gotten the same story every single times these four have gone at it and there’s no reason to see them tell that story one more time. The matches aren’t horrible but they’re rapidly losing the limited interest I had in them.

Post match Meng runs in to destroy the dancers. Barbarian comes out to make the save but Meng shrugs him off and death grips Barbarian down. Public Enemy gets taken down as well.

Here’s Big Kev to spout catchphrases and invite Goldberg to join the Wolfpack whenever he feels like it.

Kevin Nash vs. Curt Hennig

Nash takes him into the corner for the heavy knees and a hiptoss across the ring. Hennig twists around in the air as is his custom. There’s the choke with the boot but Hennig avoids a charge, sending Nash’s leg into the ropes. Curt goes after the weakened leg but Nash gets right back up and hits Snake Eyes, thankfully using the ropes to support the injured leg. Nash looks for the Jackknife but Rude comes in to deck the referee for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Not enough time to go anywhere but much like Konnan vs. Hall, it was nice to see Nash have a singles match for a change. Also I was relieved by him holding the ropes on the Snake Eyes. I love little things like that which are unfortunately rare anymore as it helps to keep the fans in the match. The ending was expected because Heaven forbid a veteran job or anything like that, but not terrible while it lasted.

Rude squares off with Nash so Hall can come in for the beatdown. The fans want Goldberg but get Luger for the save instead.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Stevie Ray

Stevie shoves Eddie away and stands in the middle of the ring for a bit. Eddie literally jumps at Stevie and spins around while Stevie stands still. An armdrag and dropkick to the ribs put Ray down but Stevie just kicks him in the face to take over. Scott Hall and the Giant are watching from the stage.

The camera keeps cutting back to them but thankfully we can see the match on the video screen. Stevie gorilla press drops Eddie down and bicycle kicks him off the apron. Eddie comes back with something I can’t make out because the camera is focusing on the NWO guys but Stevie breaks up a belly to belly attempt. Eddie goes up top but dives into a big boot. The Slapjack is enough to pin Eddie completely clean.

Rating: N/A. I can’t rate a match when I missed long portions due to putting the camera on Hall and Giant every few seconds. On top of that, Stevie Ray just beat Eddie Guerrero clean in about four minutes. This is the Eddie Guerrero that had possibly the best match in WCW history less than a year before. Is it any wonder that he wanted out?

US Title: Lex Luger vs. Bret Hart

Luger won the title on Monday and this is the rematch. He shoves Bret around a few times before grabbing a headlock. Bret hiptosses him down and drops an elbow for two, only to have Luger take him into the corner and stomp away. Bret comes back with some stomps of his own before hitting the headbutt to the abdomen. Luger is catapulted throat first into the middle rope for two as Bret doesn’t seem interested in being out there.

The middle rope elbow only hits mat and Luger makes his comeback with the clotheslines and forearm. Luger clotheslines him to the floor instead of Racking him though, allowing Bret to get a chair. Another clothesline drops Hart and now it’s Luger with the chair. The referee tries to take it away and gets knocked down, allowing Bret to DDT Luger on the chair for two. Not that it matters though as Bret puts on the Sharpshooter and Luger passes out to change the title back.

Rating: D-. They clearly didn’t care and the ending was nothing interesting. Nitro’s match is basically erased and Bret has another meaningless title reign. Again, this is more and more like the Alliance every day: these title changes don’t make a difference and just prolong an already uninteresting feud.

Overall Rating: C-. This is an interesting show as it erases almost everything that happened on Nitro, but Nitro was so horribly dull that taking it all away is a good thing. Yeah Goldberg doesn’t resolve anything with Nash, but there’s nothing to resolve in the first place. In theory Goldberg should be fine after spearing Nash and Big Kev doesn’t seem mad at Goldberg at all. The wrestling was kept quick for the most part tonight and only the main event was bad. This show benefits from all the other shows around it being so uninteresting that even a mediocre show like this comes out looking great.

 

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Monday Nitro – August 10, 1998: You Can See Starrcade From Here

Monday Nitro #149
Date: August 10, 1998
Location: Rushmore Plaza Civic Center, Rapid City, South Dakota
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko, Tony Schiavone

It’s the show after Road Wild and just like last month, nothing has changed. Goldberg has pinned Giant to wipe him out as a contender and Hogan lost to Jay Leno. Everything kind of resets now as we’re coming up on Fall Brawl, meaning someone should be showing up soon to bring Nitro to its final ratings wins, save for a one off show in October. Let’s get to it.

We open with the opening sequence for the first time in months.

Nitro Girls get us going in the ring, which now has a huge Nitro logo in the middle. Kimberly isn’t here because Page isn’t here.

Bischoff has put a gag order on the announcers regarding the main event of Road Wild. However, there will be a WCW executive here later to explain and show us what happened. Ok then.

Barbarian vs. Jim Duggan

Duggan spins the board around as he comes to the ring and accidentally drops both the board and American flag. The brawl is on in the corner with Duggan firing off right hands and a clothesline to send Barbarian out to the floor. The fans chant USA as Jimmy Hart distracts Duggan, allowing Barbarian to clubber Duggan down in the corner.

We hit the chinlock and one of the loudest USA chants I can ever remember starts up. It doesn’t help as Barbarian pulls him down by the hair and drops some elbows but it was a nice sentiment. Duggan fights up again but gets kicked in the face and chinlocked again. Another comeback works a bit better with Duggan slugging away in the corner and getting a rollup out of the corner for the pin.

Rating: D. Well this was better than having the Faces of Fear go at it for five minutes. Duggan may be old and hasn’t had a good match in years but the fans can get behind him with the USA chants. I’m not sure I’d use him every week on Nitro given how huge the roster is, but there’s at least an idea there.

Post match Hugh Morrus comes out to help beat up Duggan but Meng makes another save. Barbarian, Morrus, Hart, Duggan and Doug Dillinger all get Tongan Death Grips. Meng vs. Goldberg for the title later tonight.

We look at what’s happened to Lex Luger over the last week, including being attacked on Nitro and calling out Scott Hall as the attacker on Thunder. The battle royal elimination is ignored.

Here’s Luger with something to say. He names Bret Hart as another one of the attackers from last week and isn’t leaving without a match against Bret. This brings out Hart who calls Luger a liar because he was nowhere near Luger last week. Maybe Luger should say it was four guys or six guys (dig at Shawn’s Marines story?) but he’s not getting a shot without earning it. Bret says that Luger’s real problem is jealously with Bret’s relationship with Sting at the top of the list. Luger says the only thing he’s jealous of might be that US Title, so how about a shot tonight? Bret quickly agrees and Gene is thrilled.

We get a quick look at the TV Title match from Saturday.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Tokyo Magnum

That’s the scheduled match at least as we get Disco Inferno and Alex Wright. Before Eddie comes out, Alex yells at Tokyo and tells him to commit harikiri, meaning suicide. Disco says Tokyo needs to win if he wants to stay with them or he’s out. Eddie takes over quickly to start with a clothesline in the corner and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. A slam sets up the frog splash for the pin in maybe a minute.

Stills of Kanyon vs. Saturn vs. Raven from Saturday.

Saturn vs. Kanyon

This is the result of Kanyon not showing up for some tag matches. Kanyon charges at Saturn but gets suplexed down with ease. An STO puts Kanyon on the mat again and Saturn fires off kicks in the corner. Kanyon comes back with right hands and gets two off something like a Michinoku Driver. A face first electric chair slam gets two more for Kanyon and an elbow to the jaw puts Saturn down again. Saturn quickly breaks out of a sleeper and puts on one of his own, only to have to counter a belly to back suplex into a cover for two.

Kanyon grabs the sleeper again and takes Saturn down for two arm drops. After breaking the hold, Saturn drops Kanyon throat first on the top rope before catching him in a t-bone suplex. A Russian legsweep from Kanyon puts both guys on the mat but it’s Kanyon up first with a neckbreaker out of the corner for two. Saturn doesn’t like being in trouble so he crotches Kanyon on top and hooks a top rope head and arms suplex. Here’s Lodi for a distraction, allowing Raven to come in and DDT Saturn, giving Kanyon the pin.

Rating: C+. Kanyon continues to entertain, which makes me all the more curious as to how they’ll screw him up. At least it seems like we’re getting somewhere with this story as it’s been going on for months now. These two work well together which doesn’t surprise me given how similar their styles were at times.

Meng beats up more security. They’re doing a decent job at building him up as a one off challenger.

More Nitro Girls.

We see the new grand prize Nitro Party winners. The Nitro Girls and Gene will be at their high school in three weeks.

Sick Boy vs. Steve McMichael

McMichael goes after Sick Boy before the bell but Lodi gets in some cheap shots to let Sick Boy take over. The match starts without a bell as Sick Boy hits a springboard dropkick and back elbow for two each. Sick Boy is a good sized guy so those are some impressive moves. Mongo comes back with clotheslines and a tilt-a-whirl slam but hits his head while trying a three point charge. The Cure (Pedigree) is countered and Mongo tombstones him down for the pin.

Hour #2 begins so here’s the Black and White. As always, Hogan is all smiles because nothing bad ever happens to him. That’s one of the major problems with WCW around this time: Hogan doesn’t care if he wins or loses and just goes on to whatever his next feud was. If he never gets his comeuppance, why should I care about what he does next?

Hogan says that Leno is done so now he wants the world title back. He’s beaten everyone in the world and there’s no one that can beat him, so he wants his title shot sooner than later. Eric says that since Meng has destroyed so many security guards, the NWO will provide security in the title match tonight.

For all of you people wondering if you should change over to Raw, the announcers have a three minute chat about the world title match tonight. Around this time on Raw, Mankind was confronting Vince and Kane about a massive conspiracy involving Undertaker. WCW counters with an announcement: the Wolfpack will also provide security, because apparently they have that authority. That’s enough talking though and it’s time for a commercial. My goodness this company makes me shake my head.

TV Title: Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Stevie Ray

Chavo is worried because he can’t find Pepe. Jericho pops up on stage with Pepe so Chavo runs after him and follows Jericho into the back. We can hear sounds of a beating and Jericho walks out with a broken Pepe. We have a change of schedule.

TV Title: Stevie Ray vs. Chris Jericho

Stevie easily shoves Jericho down to start and hits some big right hands, only to have Jericho dropkick the knee. A crucifix gets two on the champion so he kicks Jericho in the face to take over again. Jericho gets draped ribs first over the top rope but he low bridges Stevie out to the floor.

A plancha takes Stevie out but Jericho bangs himself up in the dive. Back in and Stevie catches Jericho coming off the top in a powerslam. Chris comes right back with a running dropkick in the corner but the referee takes an elbow to the face. Stevie runs Jericho over but the Giant of all people breaks up a Slap Jack and chokeslams Stevie to give Jericho the easy Liontamer for the title.

Rating: C. The match was shockingly decent but both guys were wrestling like faces for a good chunk of the match. The ending is confusing but it’s very nice to see a guy like Jericho get even a little taste of the big story. He’s been the most awesome thing in this company for a long time now and it’s nice to see him get away from the cruiserweight ranks.

Heenan joins us at the halfway point and here are Eric and Liz with something to say. He’s the WCW executive that is going to show us what happened in the main event. We get some selected stills and Eric says they won. Also don’t watch the Tonight Show because Leno is a liar. Again, why should I buy the show if Eric and Hogan are just going to laugh and act like the losses mean nothing? Would it be too much for them to be ticked off one time?

Lizmark Jr. vs. Psychosis vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

No real reason for this. Psychosis takes over to start with a front suplex to Rey and a lariat to Lizmark. He follows it up with a nice missile dropkick to Rey with a top rope backsplash to the lesser known masked guy at the same time. A flapjack into a spinebuster puts Rey down and then onto the floor but Psychosis misses a running dropkick at Lizmark to finally change momentum. Lizmark pounds away in the corner and scores with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker.

Psychosis is sent to the floor where we see Rey limping. Lizmark hits a suicide dive to take out Psychosis and Rey follows up with a running flip dive. So much for the limp. Rey stays on the apron for a springboard seated senton to a lifted up Psychosis (think a Hart Attack) but Lizmark and Rey get in an argument over who should get the pin. They make up and try a Doomsday Device with Rey swapping out the clothesline for a cross body but Psychosis victory rolls Lizmark for two, sending Rey crashing to the mat.

Lizmark stomps on both guys but gets kicked in the face by Rey. A split legged moonsault gets two for Mysterio but Psychosis gets back up, only to get caught in something like a swinging Fameasser. Lizmark goes up but dives into Psychosis’ feet, only to have Rey get monkey flipped into a quick hurricanrana on Lizmark for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was a different kind of match but it still worked well. I’m surprised by how strong Psychosis was pushed out there. He controlled the opening of the match and was destroying both Lizmark and Mysterio for good portions. Mysterio’s knee is always an issue but hopefully it’s not serious.

Nitro Girls.

US Title: Lex Luger vs. Bret Hart

Bret is defending in another match that should have been at the PPV. Luger shoves Bret to the floor to start before accepting a test of strength for some reason. A hammerlock gets the champion nowhere so Luger elbows him out to the floor. Bret grabs the belt and starts to walk away but Luger will have none of that. Luger actually armdrags him into an armbar but Bret takes him into the corner and stomps away.

We take a break and come back with Bret sending him into the barricade and slamming Luger down on the concrete. Back in and Bret does the Hogan hand to the ear but Luger jacks his jaw with right hands. A low blow puts Luger down again but the referee doesn’t seem to care. Hart puts him down with a Russian legsweep and the headbutt to the abdomen.

A snap suplex gets two and Bret takes a breather to yell at the referee. The champ loads up the Five Moves but Luger gets a boot up to stop the elbow. Luger comes back with his clotheslines and the forearm for two before putting on a sleeper. The referee gets taken down and Bret pulls out a foreign object. Before it can be used though, Lex picks him up in the Torture Rack for the submission and the title.

Rating: C-. Pretty basic match here but it was nice to see something get some time on this show. I continue to shake my head whenever Bret comes on screen though as he’s now lost his title in his first defense after being wasted for about nine months. The match wasn’t bad and the Wolfpack did need to win something so I don’t have much to complain about here.

Hour #3 begins.

Stills of the Cruiserweight Title match. The announcers talk about Dean being a fair referee, even though he helped Guerrera winning the title. That’s a quote, not pointing out a flaw.

Cruiserweight Title: Juventud Guerrera vs. Kidman

Kidman is cleaned up here but Juvy catches him with a spinwheel kick right after the bell. A springboard missile dropkick to the back puts Kidman down on the floor. Kidman takes over with a dropkick of his own before sending Juvy back inside for a slingshot legdrop. The champ avoids a charge in the corner and takes Kidman down with a running lariat. Kidman comes back with a short powerbomb as the announcers talk about Bret’s rematch on Thunder. Juvy takes Kidman down with a hurricanrana and the 450 is enough to retain the title.

Rating: D+. This is a match where they could have done something special if they had actual time but you can’t get very far in three and a half minutes. Kidman works better in the clean clothes as he picks up the pace a bit. Juvy’s 450 still looks great, but the announcers didn’t even acknowledge it to hype the rematch.

The announcers talk about Bret vs. Luger again.

We see the real stills from the Leno match.

Here are Raven and the Flock so the boss can beat up Riggs and Lodi for costing him the match on Saturday. Raven goes to hit Horace but he blocks the shot and we get a bell.

Raven vs. Horace

Raven beats on Horace to start and knocks him to the floor. A Russian legsweep sends Horace into the barricade but he comes back with a stop sign shot to the head, knocking Raven back to the floor. Horace hits a nice suicide dive before throwing Raven through the sign. The big man misses a top rope splash and Raven asks for a chair, setting up the drop toehold. The Flock has to stop an invading Kanyon, allowing Saturn to come in with a Death Valley Driver on Raven to give Horace the pin.

Rating: D+. The more I see of Horace the more I like him. He’s a big guy but moves well in the ring and has a good look to him. He’ll never go anywhere but it’s cool to see people like this who had some potential. The three way feud of course continues because we have to go months before getting any real development.

The Nitro Girls dance some more. Of note (for me at least) is Tony announcing a Thunder taping at Rupp Arena in Lexington, Kentucky. There’s a chance I was at that show.

Konnan vs. Curt Hennig

Curt cranks on the arm to start but Konnan comes back with the rolling clothesline to send Hennig to the floor. The fans chant Wolfpack while Konnan pulls on his pants. Back in and Hennig pounds Konnan down in the corner before shouting that he’s rowdy rowdy. A belly to back suplex gets two for Hennig but Konnan comes back with an X Factor. Curt finds a chain from somewhere but Konnan takes it away from him and chokes Hennig for a DQ.

Rating: D. This hasn’t been the best night for in ring action. It was another boring match with a lot of walking around by Hennig to fill in time. You would think on a show with five title matches (think they were desperate for something to pop a rating?) that there wouldn’t be a need to waste time but it’s been a staple tonight.

Tag Titles: Kevin Nash/Sting vs. Scott Hall/Giant

Kevin and Sting are challenging. The Survey says this is Wolfpack territory, causing Tony to refer to the Wolfpack as the good guys. Giant holds the belt above his head so the referee can’t get it in a funny bit. Nash punches Hall in the face to start but Scott gets away from an early Jackknife attempt. Back in and Hall drives in the shoulders, only to be clotheslined down again. Time for the battle of the giants with Nash firing off some knees to the ribs.

It’s back to Hall for more knees to the ribs but a Giant distraction lets Hall get in a low blow. For once in his career Tony makes a good point: shouldn’t the referee wonder why Nash is keeled over in pain when he turns around? Hall punches Nash down again and brings Giant back in, only to have Nash come back with a big boot. The hot tag brings in Sting for three straight Splashes on Hall but Giant chokeslams the referee for the DQ.

Rating: D. These matches are getting annoying. This was another match that could have been on the PPV but instead they just threw it on Nitro to fill in about ten minutes. It wasn’t entertaining due to the pure formula and cheap ending but the fans reacted to Sting as they always will. One other note: Tony said the powerbomb was banned for a few months, which is as close as we’re going to get to an official ending to the story.

Both NWOs come out to do security on the main event. Why the four guys in the previous match needed to go to the back and come out again is beyond me. There are only six guys in total: those four plus Luger and Hogan.

WCW World Title: Goldberg vs. Meng

Meng pounds away to start but Goldberg hits a kind of flying tackle. A superkick puts Meng on the floor but the Black and White leave Meng alone. Back in and Goldberg puts on a quickly broken leg bar before getting kicked to the floor on the Black and White side. The Wolfpack makes the save but Meng puts him in the Tongan Death Grip, only to let go early. Spear, Jackhammer, we’re done. Too short to rate but they actually did a good job of making Goldberg seem vulnerable. Given the opponent, that’s very impressive.

Hogan comes in with a chair shot to Goldberg’s back but Nash takes it away. Goldberg thinks it was Nash and Big Sexy gets speared.

Overall Rating: D+. It’s the usual WCW mantra: there’s good stuff in there but all the bad stuff is too much to overcome. The NWO feud continues to go nowhere and is starting to remind me of the Alliance. If there’s nowhere to go with these stories, what’s the point in sitting through them?

I mentioned the other problem several times: so many of these matches should have been on the pay per view. The US and Tag Title matches easily could have been done on Saturday to fill in time and make the card feel more complete. Instead they just threw everyone into one battle royal and gave us McMichael vs. Adams. Disappointing show tonight.

 

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Thunder – August 5, 1998: Stealing Nitro’s Bad Ideas

Thunder
Date: August 5, 1998
Location: Casper Events Center, Casper, Wyoming
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Lee Marshall, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay

It’s the go home show for Road Wild which means we’re probably in line for about 174 Tonight Show clips in the next two hours. We might even get to hear some new matches announced for the show as I think we have three at the moment. I’m so glad Thunder came back for such a great occasion. Let’s get to it.

This is the first episode since mid-July if you’re trying to read these in order.

We open on the announcers talking about the big tag match. Also you get to see a Travis Tritt concert if you buy the show. There might even be some wrestling on the side.

Goldberg is officially in the battle royal.

We look at Sting in the white paint as he’s back to what he was in 1997.

We also look at the NWO shouting at Kimberly while Page got beaten up. That’s still a little disturbing.

Giant vs. Lizmark Jr.

The match is over before I finish writing the names via the chokeslam.

Giant thinks Goldberg is on a roll and has won the title but Giant is the real future of wrestling. He wants a piece of Goldberg at some point in the future.

Video package on Goldberg.

Here’s Luger, rocking that sweet wolf’s head shirt, with something to say. After some sucking up to the crowd, he says that Wolfpack is more than just for life; it’s forever. For the first time since probably 1993, we get a LUGER chant. We get the answer to the question that people were supposed to be asking since Monday: who attacked him in the back. The only face Luger saw before he went down was Scott Hall, so he’s not leaving until there’s an NWO battle tonight. Sting (in red and black like he was before Monday) and Konnan come out and stand beside their stablemate and it’s posing all around.

Dean Malenko comes out to referee the next match but Jericho cuts him off. He knows Dean must have sucked up to a lot of people to get the job on Sunday but Jericho knows Malenko doesn’t have the integrity to call a fair match at Road Wild. Dean better call the next match fair or else.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Psychosis

Juvy takes over early by going up top for a flying headscissors and a clothesline to drop the masked man for two. Psychosis comes back with a clothesline of his own and gets a boot up in the corner to drop Juvy. Guerrera grabs a Juvy Driver out of nowhere for a near fall as Dean hasn’t been a factor so far. Something resembling a powerbomb gets two for Psychosis but Juvy monkeyflips him out to the floor because selling isn’t allowed in most cruiserweight matches. While Dean checks on Psychosis on the floor, Jericho comes in to blast Juvy with the title belt. A guillotine legdrop forces Dean to count a reluctant pin.

Rating: C-. Some nice highspots aside, would anyone like to explain to me the logic of having your #1 contender for the Cruiserweight Title lose back to back TV matches the week before his title shot? If you want Dean to cost Jericho the title, why not just have him take the title himself?

And now…..oh good grief they’re doing NWO Nightcap on Thunder now. Let’s make this quick: Leno jokes, Eubanks jokes, Kimberly sleeps around…..and here’s DDP to DIVE at Bischoff and choke him until the set is destroyed. Cops pull Page off and Giant carries Bischoff’s carcass to the back. At least they kept it under ten minutes this time and that dive was great.

Let’s take a breather here and talk about something: how are these Nightcap segments supposed to make me want to buy a show? The idea is simple of course: Bischoff makes fun of Leno, Leno should want to get revenge. That’s where the good idea (a stretch on its own) stops. How many people are going to want to pay to see that and how many people are going to think that’s the dumbest idea they’ve ever heard? They might watch it for free on the Tonight Show, but asking them to pay $30 and pay for something they know will be goofy?

Hogan isn’t here but saw what happened and is coming. With his biker buddies. Oh dear. Just oh dear. Wait if he wasn’t at the show, why was he in Casper?

Meng vs. Jim Duggan

They slug it out with Duggan throwing his big overblown right hands and Meng looking like he’s having a seizure. A kick to the chest puts Duggan down but he pops back to his feet for a double clothesline. Not that it matters as Hugh Morrus and Barbarian come in for the no contest.

Duggan cleans house with the 2×4 and Meng chases Morrus and Barbarian to the back.

Here’s the NWO Black and White (read as Hall and goons) with something to say. Hall makes jokes about the Nitro Girls before turning his attention to the Wolfpack. Luger likes to get beaten up, Konnan is a jumping bean that will get squashed like a cockroach and Sting can’t decide what color to paint his face. The challenge for tonight is accepted.

TV Title: Steve McMichael vs. Stevie Ray

Ray is defending. Mongo is all ticked off and storms the ring, only to get choked down into the corner. A jumping kick to the chest puts McMichael down but he comes back with a belly to back suplex. Mongo hits a few three point charges to put Ray down again, only to charge into an elbow in the corner. Here’s Chavo with a piece of paper saying he’s made himself the champion just like Stevie. Ray goes after him for the countout. Mongo was basically squashed here but he still doesn’t get why Arn doesn’t want the Horsemen back.

Chavo clocks Stevie with the belt and Mongo gets in some cheap shots. Ray whips Mongo into the barricade to make sure McMichael doesn’t look good at all and chases after Guerrero.

Tony brings out Rick Steiner to talk about what happened on Monday. Rick wants to beat up Scott and Buff so badly that he yells until Tony has to bring him back to reality. This time it’s personal and Rick wants to fight Scott man to man on Saturday.

Raven talks about controlling Kanyon and how this Sunday will be a handicap match against Saturn. Instead of a triple threat tonight, Saturn gets a handicap match.

Saturn vs. Riggs/Sick Boy

Saturn beats both guys up like the jobbers they are and stomps on Lodi’s broken fingers. The Flock members finally get it together and double team Saturn down. Riggs hits a nice side slam and brings in Sick Boy, only to have Saturn superkick him in the jaw. Riggs is knocked off the apron and Saturn ends Sick Boy quick with the Death Valley Driver.

Buy some motorcycle!

Disco Inferno vs. Eddie Guerrero

Tokyo is with Disco and comes out to Alex Wright’s music. Eddie gets in a cheap shot to start and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two. Disco comes right back with an early piledriver and a spinning neckbreaker for two each. A middle rope fist drop misses Eddie though and he takes Disco’s head off with an elbow to the jaw. Guerrero botches something resembling a shoulder breaker but plants Disco with a brainbuster. In a nice ending, Eddie goes up for the Frog Splash but Tokyo shoves him off, only to have Eddie land right on Disco with the splash anyway. Too short to rate but it’s another nothing match in a series tonight.

Buff Bagwell calls in and says Rick Steiner is stupid until Rick comes to the announcers’ table. Apparently that chair shot on Monday injured Scott so badly that he can’t wrestle at Road Wild. Rick offers to fight both of them anyway.

Clip from the Tonight Show.

Here are Hogan, Disciple and Bischoff for their final rant before Sunday. This show has sapped every ounce of energy I have so we’ll make this quick: Hogan knows a bunch of bikers, Kimberly was on the back of his bike coming here, he’s going to break every bone in Leno and Page’s bodies, Bischoff is going to take over the late night scene and he’s ordered the caskets for Sunday. That somehow took over five minutes. Oh and Hogan had no bikers with him, unless Disciple counts.

NWO Wolfpack vs. NWO Black and White

It’s Hall/Adams/Hennig vs. Sting/Luger/Konnan. We come back from a break and the brawl is on quickly. Everyone fights on the floor with the Wolfpack taking over. Luger and Hall finally get in the ring to get things going with Lex hitting his array of atomic drops. Off to Hennig who gets shoved into the corner over and over so all three members of the Wolfpack can get in some cheap shots.

Konnan comes in to face Adams and walks into a backbreaker for two. The Black and White triple teams Konnan for a bit, resulting in a tag off to Hennig for some knee lifts. The fans chant for the Wolfpack and Sting gets the hot tag to clean house. Everything breaks down and Konnan gets a Tequila Sunrise on Adams but Hennig makes a save. Not that it matters though as Konnan rolls Adams up for the pin a second later.

Rating: D. Just a match here to set up the battle royal on Saturday, even though it leaves out the people of interest in the battle royal. They did a decent job about making the match feel like a melee but that doesn’t mean it’s an interesting match. This was your usual throw everybody else into the main event to close out the show match.

Overall Rating: D. This company is dreadful right now with the Hogan vs. Hollywood stuff dragging everything else down. Thankfully the story isn’t going to last much longer, but it’s made the last few weeks nearly unwatchable. The PPV is a two match show at best, even though one of the matches is a battle royal to combine two feuds into one. Why that’s needed on a PPV as empty as Road Wild is beyond me but I’m sure it somehow makes Hogan a bigger star or something like that.

 

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