Bash at the Beach 2000 (2015 Redo): Your New Hero

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Date: July 9, 2000
Location: Ocean Center, Daytona Beach, Florida
Attendance: 6,572
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson, Mark Madden

We get some very lame pyro as Penzer is in a beach shirt.

Cruiserweight Title: Juventud Guerrera vs. Lieutenant Loco

Madden tries to figure out what was up with the Dragons so Scott, who seems to actually watch Thunder, explains the story. Mark has nothing in response, basically making this a quick production meeting for him. Back in and Juvy fires off some right hands but gets taken down into an armbar. Loco is wrestling a much slower paced style here which is normally the heel Cruiserweight Champion style.

Hardcore Title: Big Vito vs. Norman Smiley/Ralphus

Vito is defending in this unannounced match with mystery challengers. Tony explains that the match is supposed to start in the back and then come to the ring. Those sound a lot like rules. Vito hammers away with the stick on Ralphus and then sends Norman into the barricade. They go backstage so now I guess they can fight back into the arena so the match can end in the ring. Ralphus gets in some trashcan shots to the head for what might have been his first offense in history.

Rating: D-. Well thank goodness this got pay per view time. Norman, one of the most popular acts in the company for a few months, is still right where he was before and the heatless Vito keeps the title even longer with no one to challenge him. Bad match here as you would expect, but keep this stuff on Thunder where it belongs if you just have to do it.

Miss Hancock vs. Daffney

Tag Team Titles: Perfect Event vs. Kronik

Booker T. vs. Positively Kanyon

Mike Awesome is hitting on the overweight viking chick when Pamela comes in to ask about Scott Steiner. Awesome promises a win and insults Pamela before leaving.

US Title: Mike Awesome vs. Scott Steiner

Steiner is defending and dives onto Awesome (who, like Steiner, is in black trunks with red lettering) but gets sent into the crowd for a dive over the barricade. Awesome gets in a trashcan shot but takes it back to ringside with Steiner in control. They get inside for the first time for a belly to belly superplex to give Scott the first near fall.

Steiner beats Awesome up and celebrates anyway.

Vampiro vs. The Demon

A superkick puts Demon down and Vampiro, clearly on a microphone, tells Demon to join him. Asya kicks Vampiro in the back and they fight into an open grave for a bit. You can barely see anything here and Vampiro chases Asya off. Demon gets out of the grave and the match has become a footrace.

Vampiro throws him in the water and Asya is rocking back and forth. She gets dragged off again until Demon gets out of the water as Tony brings up the fact that they have no idea where the graveyard is. Demon finds Asya next to a coffin but Vampiro pops out and sprays mist in his face. Vampiro says join him or die but Demon says no, only to get hit in the head with a tombstone and knocked into the coffin. Vampiro leaves and we cut to an interview, so screw the rules for the “match”.

Shane Douglas promises to beat Buff Bagwell tonight.

Shane Douglas vs. Buff Bagwell

Shane and Torrie kiss some more.

Hogan has finally arrived.

Jarrett says he has allies tonight.

Quick recap of Jarrett and the fat viking women. It still makes no sense and goes WAY too far for the sake of a joke.

WCW World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Jeff Jarrett

Goldberg is trying really hard not to rip up the contract. This is about a week and a half after he ate the thing so this speech is kind of hard to buy.

Tonight, Jarrett is defending against someone who has been fighting for a spot in WCW “for fourteen years.” Booker has only been wrestling for eleven years at this point and debuted in WCW in 1993 so we can add math to the things that Russo is horrible at. Russo promises that Booker and Jeff will tear the house down tonight and leaves.

The announcers are stunned.

Kevin Nash vs. Goldberg

Goldberg tears the contract up as Steiner puts Nash in the Recliner.

The announcers preview the main event with Madden saying Jarrett is the kind of guy that Hogan held down. Yeah the four time World Champion was held down.

WCW World Title: Booker T. vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jeff puts a chair in the corner but gets sent into it head first for two more. Jeff beats up the referee and gives him a Stroke (without ever leaving his feet) but the top rope guitar shot is caught in the Book End to give Booker the pin and the title to a legitimately strong reaction. Well from the people still here.

Booker is overcome with emotion to end the show.

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