Smackdown
Date: September 16, 1999
Location: Thomas And Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 8,219
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re getting closer to Unforgiven and in this case everything is crashing down around HHH. While he survived a title match with Steve Austin on Raw, Vince McMahon is back after HHH went after Linda McMahon. That can’t end well, but we still don’t have a #1 contender to the pay per view in ten days. Let’s get to it.

Here is Raw if you need a recap.

We open with the referees on strike over unsafe working conditions. Why do wrestling promotions think stories about referees are interesting?

Opening sequence.

Here is Steve Austin to get things going. Just because he got disqualified against HHH on Raw doesn’t mean that they’re done with each other by a long shot. When HHH beat him in the knee with a chair, he should have done that much more, because HHH didn’t get the job done. Austin wants a rematch right here tonight and we should make it No Holds Barred.

Or if HHH wants to do this the hard way, Austin can just beat him so badly that he’s going to the hospital. Cue HHH and Chyna, with a bunch of cops backing them up. HHH says that’s not happening because Austin has to go to the back of the line. The title will be defended tonight though, against a main eventer of HHH’s choice. Austin promises to follow HHH all night and it’s going to involve his foot going….well you get the idea.

HHH will officially defend the title in a Six Pack Challenge at Unforgiven after the five way match went to a no contest. That’s a heck of a way to jump from nothing to something.

Here is Shane McMahon, who calls out Joey Abs because of what Joey said about Stephanie McMahon on Raw. Cue the Mean Street Posse, with Terri, so Shane dives onto Joey to start fast.

Shane McMahon vs. Joey Abs

There’s no referee because of the strike, making me wonder why the bell ring if there was no one to call it. The rest of the Posse jumps Shane before going outside as Stephanie and Test are watching in the back. Here is Gerald Brisco to count two off Shane’s rollup and another two off Joey’s suplex.

Shane’s jumping back elbow gets two but Briscoe gets in a fight with Pete Gas on the floor. Rodney comes in to beat on Shane, who fights the off as Pat Patterson, in shorts, comes out to count two on Joey, with Rodney breaking that up as well. Shane hits a corkscrew Swanton (close to a Spinal Tap) for the pin with Shawn Stasiak of all people coming in as the third referee.

Rating: C-. A match between Shane McMahon and a member of the Mean Street Posse, which didn’t even last four minutes, had three referees, two people interfering, and two fights involving some of those referees, who were replacements because the referees are on strike. That’s about as 1999 as you can get and it’s rather exhausting to keep track of all this stuff. That being said, the place was going nuts for Shane, which is one of the reasons he was around so often.

Post match Stephanie comes out and drops Joey again.

Here is Women’s Champion Ivory, who is SO EXCITED that actress/model Cindy Margolis is here. She invites Cindy into the ring and gushes over Cindy’s beauty and star power. Ivory asks Cindy to do one of the poses she gets downloaded on her website but Cindy declines. That doesn’t work for Ivory, who threatens violence if it doesn’t happen. Cindy eventually does it…and here is Jeff Jarrett to put Cindy in the Figure Four, with Cindy kind of begging him not to and then grabbing her knee. Jarrett Figure Fours Ivory for a bonus.

HHH, in trunks but without elbow pads for a weird look, says he won’t be defending against Steve Austin.

European Title: Mark Henry vs. Steve Blackman

Henry is defending after skipping a tag match with Blackman on Raw. Tony Garea is referee as Blackman kicks Henry down without much trouble. Cue Val Venis with a kendo stick to Blackman though, allowing Henry to get the easy pin.

Post match D’Lo Brown comes in and Sky Highs Henry (that wasn’t bad).

Jeff Jarrett yells at Cindy Margolis as she is put in an ambulance. Test comes in for the brawl.

Post break Jarrett challenges Test to a match tonight.

Here is Chris Jericho, with Curtis Hughes, for a chat. Jericho declares himself one bad mamma jamma and says Ken Shamrock has finally admitted defeat. Shamrock has begged him to make sure that they never meet face to face again and then licked the dust off Jericho’s boots in gratitude. He’s also begged Hughes to not rip him limb from limb, but Jericho is allowing Hughes to take his place against Shamrock tonight. That’s not all though, because Jericho has a special guest referee for this match: the masked Mexican legend, El Dopo!

Curtis Hughes vs. Ken Shamrock

Chris Jericho is on commentary as Shamrock takes Hughes down and strikes away. Hughes takes him to the floor for a drop onto the barricade as Cole dares to ask Jericho why he won’t face Shamrock. With that nonsense out of the way, Shamrock fights up and sends Hughes into various steel objects. Jericho offers a distraction though and Hughes cuts Shamrock off so the double teaming can be on. Back in and Hughes drops an elbow for two but Shamrock kneebars him. Hughes grabs the rope so Dopo immediately calls for the DQ.

Post match Shamrock is livid and unmasks Dopo as Howard Finkel, which was fairly obvious as soon as he came into the arena.

Mankind is expecting total mayhem in the five man Royal Rumble, but he and Rock will be working as a team. They’re like an automobile, with Rock being a fine engine and Mankind being the one who holds the bags. Yes he’s the rear end, but he’s the People’s Rear End. And he doesn’t like HHH either!

Remember how the referees were on strike earlier today? They’re still on strike.

Royal Rumble

Five entrants, because we need 1/6 size Royal Rumble with one minute intervals. Rock is in at #1 and talks about how Big Show, Kane or Undertaker need to go play the People’s Slow Machine to land three Brahma Bulls. You’d see Undertaker, with his Mickey Mouse tattoos and his 33lb head jumping around like a girl, Kane doing cartwheels and using his voicebox to say “I won, I won, let’s party”, and Big Show just scaring people in general.

Then the Rock himself would arrive, watch the tears stream down their cheeks, and gather up all the gold coins that they won and…well you know the bit. Anyway, after that whole thing, which I remember reciting with my friends when I was 11 because it was the funniest thing I had ever heard at the time, Big Show is in at #2 and we’re ready to go.

Rock strikes away to start but gets sent face first into the buckle to cut him off. Mankind ins in at #3 and the double teaming has Show in trouble. After what felt like a rather quick minute, Kane is in at #4 so Rock hammers away on him as Show chokes Mankind in the corner. Undertaker, in street clothes, is in at #5 to complete the field but he sits in on commentary rather than getting inside. The other four brawl, with Mankind clotheslining Kane out, only to get thrown out by Rock. Show hits a chokeslam on Rock but can’t throw him out, which is enough for Undertaker to get in the ring and dump them both for the win.

Rating: C-. What is there to say about a match like this? It wasn’t long and ended with something of a screwy finish as Undertaker did one thing and won the match. There was nothing but bragging rights on the line and that doesn’t leave much in the way of interest. Having the star power in there helped, but you need something more interesting for those stars to do.

Post match Mideon and Viscera come in to help Show beat Rock down.

Here are the Hollys to say Chyna has had more than enough time to find a partner. Cue Chyna, who is going to do this on her own.

Hollys vs. Chyna

Chyna forearms Crash (whose gear says HARDCORE HOLLY) to start so it’s quickly off to Hardcore (whose gear also says HARDCORE HOLLY). A shot to the face staggers Hardcore as well and it’s a double low blow to put the cousins down. Hardcore takes Chyna down and here is Billy Gunn to join in as Chyna’s partner. That doesn’t go well to start as a double elbow to the face puts Chyna down and Hardcore adds a suplex. Chyna DDTs her way to freedom though and it’s Gunn coming in to clean house. The Fameasser is good for the fast pin.

Rating: C. Another nothing mach but at least it was long enough to rate for once. In theory Chyna would want to go it alone here and isn’t likely to be happy with Gunn for making the save. The match was just kind of there to give Chyna a reason to get mad, and there are worse options available.

Post match Chyna yells at Gunn, as she didn’t want help, but here is Jeff Jarrett to hit her in the back with a frying pan and cover her with an apron. Jarrett gives her a soup ladle and the frying pan, saying now all she has to do is start fixing him supper.

Big Boss Man, with a bag labeled “DOGGIE BAG” is ready for….the Pepper On A Pole match. Sweet goodness can Russo quit already?

Big Boss Man vs. Al Snow

Pepper On A Pole, because this is a thing. Snow stops away to start and hits the trapping headbutts (strong grapple plus up plus B) but it’s too early to get the bag. Boss Man catches a diving Snow and then hits him with the nightstick. Cue the rottweilers from Raw with the British Bulldog for a distraction, allowing Boss Man to grab the bag…which doesn’t count as he throws it to the floor, allowing Snow to grab it for the win. The remains of a dog on a pole match involving the British Bulldog leading a team of rottweilers is the match that SETS UP the big gimmick match between these two. For the Hardcore Title.

HHH and Chyna are in the back, with Steve Austin stalking them.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Test

Jarrett, with Miss Kitty and Debra, is defending. Test kicks him in the face to start but Jarrett comes back as the Mean Street Posse comes out. A powerslam plants Jarrett as Stephanie, Shane and the Stooges come out to brawl as everything is thrown out. The fans of course want puppies.

Post match the brawl stays on and Jarrett damages Test’s shoulder. Shane saves Stephanie from Jarrett’s Figure Four.

Here is HHH, with Chyna to defend the WWF Title and there are a bunch of cops on the stage, presumably to cut off an invading Steve Austin. We cut to the back where Stephanie McMahon and Test (with his bad shoulder) are leaving, which writes Test out of the list of possible challengers. HHH says he gets to pick the guest referee, so he would like Shane McMahon to get out here.

With Shane here, HHH says he won’t be facing Undertaker, Big Show or Kane, which leaves the Rock. Since Rock has an obsession with putting things in a certain place on various people, Rock can kiss HHH’s so it’s not him. That leaves one option, and it’s someone with testicles thee size of grapefruits (Lawler: “ME???”).

HHH calls out Vince McMahon and is willing to put the title on the line to get a piece of him. We cut to the back, where Vince doesn’t want to do it but HHH suggests doing, uh, things, with Linda McMahon, which is enough to get Vince out here. Vince still says no but HHH tells him to go hide behind his skirt. HHH throws in that he can keep it up with Linda all night long and that’s enough to start the match.

WWF Title: HHH vs. Vince McMahon

Vince is challenging and hammers away in the corner, only for HHH to stomp him down without much effort. The comeback is cut off again and referee Shane McMahon does not approve. HHH fires off some shoulders in the corner and stomps Vince down even more, allowing Chyna to get in a cheap shot of her own as the beating continues.

They go outside with HHH choking with a camera cable. HHH beats him onto the announcers’ table and drops an elbow through it, with Shane’s pleas to stop not getting him anywhere. Back in and Chyna hands HHH a chair, allowing him to shove Shane down and blast Vince in the head. Shane tackles HHH down and hammers away so Chyna comes in for the save, with HHH chairing Shane in the head as well.

Cue Linda McMahon and the Stooges, with the men getting beaten down too. Chyna holds Linda so she has to watch HHH beat on the bloody Vince. The Pedigree is loaded up and heeeeere’s Austin to beat HHH down. HHH and Chyna get a Stunner each…and Austin puts Vince on top so Shane can count the pin to make Vince champion. As Austin’s music plays.

Rating: C. The match was little more than a squash until Austin came in at the end, making this the second time Austin has caused a title change in such a similar way this year (after the famous Mankind win). Vince barely got in any offense but there is nothing wrong with that kind of a story in small doses. After Vince was around the main event scene for so long, having him win the title isn’t the biggest shock, especially on a fluke like this. It was fun, and that’s what it needed to be.

HHH chases Austin through the crowd as Vince is helped up. Brisco jumps up and down to celebrate as the show ends. This was such goofy fun and Vince was always right in the middle of everything that having him win the title, even on a fluke like this, was rather entertaining.

Overall Rating: C. The ending didn’t save the show but it was good enough to carry it across the finish line. Above all else, there are still too many completely insane things going on (Pepper On A Pole) but things like Chris Jericho and Shane McMahon are bringing things up a bit. Austin is at his usual incredibleness and the show is still working, but dang they could be so much better if they got rid of some of the nonsense.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 13, 1999
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 11,186
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re closing in on Unforgiven and the big story continues to be HHH vs. the world. Steve Austin returned last week on Smackdown to nearly kill HHH with a semi truck and that means we might have the challenge for the pay per view in sight. Other than that, the rest of the company is as wacky as usual and that should make for an eventful night. Let’s get to it.

Here is Smackdown is you need a recap.

We look at Steve Austin attempting to murder HHH, who has quite a few people after him.

Opening sequence.

A bunch of people (Undertaker, Big Show, Kane, Mankind, Steve Austin) all seem to be looking for HHH.

Speaking of HHH, he gets a full police motorcade escort.

Here is Linda McMahon, with the Stooges, for a chat. Linda wastes no time in making a five way match tonight for the #1 contendership at Unforgiven. For now though, HHH has to remain champion and if Steve Austin wants a title shot, he can have it. Tonight. Cue HHH and Chyna (with security) to interrupt and things are not looking positive. HHH goes on a rant about how Linda is screwing him over but HHH tells her how things go. Cue Big Show, Undertaker, Rock, Mankind and Kane for a brawl, with HHH escaping.

We recap Jeff Jarrett attacking Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young on Smackdown.

Jarrett issues an open challenge to any woman.

The Rock, with Mankind, talks about how he is back in Anaheim and is ready to face anyone to get to HHH. This includes Mankind, even if they are friends. Mankind is ready to have feelings but he’s ready for Rock to beat him up.

Jeff Jarrett vs. ???

Miss Kitty and Debra are here with Jarrett and it’s….Luna Vachon answering the challenge. Luna charges in and gets stomped down to start, followed by a shot to the face. Jarrett hammers away in the corner but cue Ivory to hit Luna with a guitar for the DQ.

Post match Jarrett does not like Lilian Garcia announcing Luna as the winner so he puts Garcia in the Figure Four.

Chyna is not impressed with Jarrett and threatens Steve Austin with a sledgehammer.

Faarooq vs. D-Von Dudley

Strap match, just because. Faarooq starts fast and snaps off a powerslam before choking with the strap. D-Von fights back and chokes away, followed by some nasty whipping. Back up and the spinebuster gets Faarooq out of trouble, only for Bubba to hit a nasty chair to the head to give D-Von the pin.

Post match Bradshaw gets taken out with the steps but comes back with a chair to clear out the Dudleyz.

Undertaker and Big Show are ready to take out HHH, who is now the hunted instead of the hunter. Even the Crocodile Hunter can’t save them now. As for Rock, they’re going to be on him like the leather pants on the girl in the front row. This is a weird version of Undertaker and hopefully it doesn’t last long.

Jim Ross brings out the British Bulldog for a chat. Last week he gave Al Snow the Hardcore Title back because Snow deserves it. He’s also back because he wants to show that he can still do this after his injury. There is only one belt that he has left to win and that is the WWF Title. That’s the one thing he wants to win before he retires, which won’t be for a long time.

Cue the Big Boss Man to interrupt because he did not like Bulldog interrupting him last week. Before this is over between them, Bulldog is going home in a doggy bag. Cue Al Snow (he’s barking) to sing about where oh where has his Boss Man gone. Snow: “There you are Ray!” Snow recaps the Pepper saga and challenges him to a match, which will involve a cage inside the Cell, but Boss Man is only interested if the Hardcore Title is on the line. Snow says sure, so Boss Man is in, but also ready to fight tonight.

One more thing though: Snow introduces some rottweilers who will be in between the two cages. Bulldog jumps Boss Man from behind and they fight at ringside with Boss Man getting the better of things, only to be chased off by the dogs. You could hear them trying to make sense of this as they were explaining the concept and it was showing badly. No one could make this sound good, as it’s a total mess.

The Mean Street Posse, with Terri, doesn’t like Test so they’re going to beat him up, even if Shane McMahon doesn’t want them to. Oh and Stephanie McMahon is a tramp.

Someone has attacked Shane McMahon.

Tony Chimmel comes out to take over for the Fink.

Joey Abs vs. Test

The rest of the Posse is here too and they all ump Test before the bell, allowing Joey to grab a suplex for an early two. Test gets in a shot of his own though and the comeback is on. A full nelson slam puts Abs down but the Posse comes in again. That’s broken up and Test grabs a powerbomb for the fast pin.

Post match the beatdown is on again but Shane McMahon runs in for the save. The Posse is chased outside with Shane and Test giving chase in their car.

WWF Title: Steve Austin vs. HHH

Austin, in street clothes, is challenging. Hold on though as HHH is in street clothes as well and has some cops (and Chyna) with him. HHH brings up the aggravated assault from Smackdown and has personally signed a warrant for Austin’s arrest (I don’t think that’s how warrants work). The cops handcuff and arrest Austin, with HHH getting a cheap shot because of course. No match if that wasn’t clear.

Post break Austin is put in a police car and HHH takes Linda McMahon’s phone and throws it down.

Godfather vs. Chaz

Apparently Chaz and Marianna have amicably ended their relationship, so Godfather isn’t going to offer him the ladies this week. Chaz takes him down with a drop toehold to start and works on the arm as the ladies dance and shout a lot on the floor. Some arm cranking ensues but cue Marianna (wit a black eye) to ask Chaz why. Godather isn’t happy and kicks him into the corner, setting up the Ho Train (but an angry one you see), followed by the Pimp Drop for the pin. That’s not a place you want to go with a wrestling storyline and it doesn’t feel great here.

The Stooges try to get Linda McMahon to leave but she’s staying because it’s family business.

We recap X-Pac and Kane going their separate ways.

A cage is lowered and here is Chris Jericho, but believe it or not he has something to say. Jericho calls out Ken Shamrock, who is certainly a SHAM, but he certainly doesn’t work. This is the Jericho Prison and he is ready to prove himself against one of the most proficient fighters in the world. This brings out GOTCH GRACIE, a masked man who has trained everywhere (Lawler: “JR, you probably know where he played college football!”).

Chris Jericho vs. Gotch Gracie

Gracie is in a mask and all black, with his shirt saying GOTCH. Jericho (“Here goes nothing!”) takes him down for a bow and arrow beore grabbing the mic and saying that could have broken his back. Jericho puts on an Octopus Hold and muscles him over for a suplex, with Jericho saying that’s enough. Gracie fights back with a clothesline but gets pulled into the Liontamer for the fast pin.

Post match Jericho goes for an ankle lock but Ken Shamrock runs in. Jericho and Gracie beat Shamrock down and Gracie is unmasked as….Curtis (Mr.) Hughes. That’s not the best reveal but you know exactly what you’re getting with Hughes.

D’Lo Brown and Godfather have a business transaction.

Chris Jericho shows he just proved that he is the most dangerous man in the WWF. He went out and got Curtis Hue to protect Shamrock from Jericho himself.

Kane vs. Mankind vs. Big Show vs. Undertaker vs. The Rock

For a title shot at Unforgiven and for some reason Undertaker and Show are introduced with a combined weight. The two of them jump Mankind before everyone else get here but argue over the pin. Rock and Kane come out as well with Kane hitting the top rope clothesline on Mankind.

Cue Mideon and Viscera to jump Mankind as this is just a big brawl rather than much of a match. Mankind manages a double arm DDT on Kane but Undertaker drops the referee. Rock gives Undertaker a DDT into the People’s Elbow as another referee comes in, only to get taken out by Kane.

More referees and agents come in and get decked as well, followed by Earl Hebner, who throws up his hands and leaves. Cue the Godfather to go after Undertaker (it goes badly), Crash Holly to go after Big Show (it goes worse) and more people who are beaten up just as quickly. The locker room empties out and everyone starts fighting with everyone as this is thrown out.

Rating: C. What is there to say about something like this? It’s barely a match and is much more about a bunch of people brawling before even more people come in to brawl as well. That doesn’t get you very far, but it was certainly energetic. And we still don’t even have a #1 contender as the lack of organization continues.

And no, that isn’t the main event, because it’s 1999.

The referees tell Earl Hebner to do something about these beatings they’re taking.

Val Venis/D’Lo Brown vs. Mark Henry/Steve Blackman

This feels like it belongs on a Lethal Lottery show. Well hang on as Henry isn’t here so Blackman bets up Venis on his own. Venis fights back and hands it off to Brown, who misses an elbow and gets caught with a dropkick. It’s back to Venis for a spinebuster but Blackman hits an enziguri for two more. Venis is right back with a fisherman’s suplex into the Low Down for the fast pin. It’s almost weird to see a straight match with nothing screwy going on.

The screwiness is after the match as GTV pops on to show Henry getting a lap dance from Godfather’s ladies.

A limousine, with a police escort, arrives.

WWF Title: HHH vs. ???

HHH, in street clothes and with Chyna, is defending and calls out Linda McMahon of all people. HHH wants Linda to say that Steve Austin has forfeited his title shot and has to start all the way at the bottom again. Linda: “No.” That has HHH ready to go after Linda but cue Vince McMahon to make the save. Vince says he gave his word that he wouldn’t interfere in business, but this is personal.

They’re ready to fight so here is Austin (also in street clothes and again, I don’t think this company knows how the legal system works) to start the brawl, and apparently the match, with HHH. Austin beats him around the ring and into the crowd, setting up a suplex on the floor. A bunch of chair shots and a right hand to Earl Hebner are enough to get Austin disqualified.

Rating: C. This was an angle rather than a match (I’m shocked too) and that’s all it needed to be. Austin being back in the arena so soon after a big angle earlier means it should have been a brawl like this, but that’s quite the match to just burn off in three minutes. Either way, the fans were going nuts and I guess that’s what matters the most?

Post match the cage is lowered and Austin beats HHH up both inside and outside to end the show.

We get about five extra minutes, called Extra Attitude, of Austin beating on HHH even more and drinking beer. Real revolutionary stuff there, though the cage is kind of swinging back and forth for a weird feeling.

Overall Rating: C. They were trying to have something coherent here but it was just enough of a mixture of the Russo style of insanity with something more focused. The overarching story of “everyone is out to get HHH and tonight is Austin’s chance” is fine, but there are so many moving parts that you need a scorecard. It kept my interest, though it had the usual problem of feeling like they had three weeks piled into two hours. Calm the heck down and see how much better the show can be. You can even keep the matches short, but let something sink in for once.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: September 9, 1999
Location: Pepsi Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 10,183
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re still on the way to Unforgiven and I’m not exactly sure what is going on with the show’s card. The main story seems to be focusing around the Tag Team Titles and maybe HHH vs. The Rock and Mankind, but tonight Rock and Mankind are defending against Big Show and Undertaker in a tag team Buried Alive match, because that’s a thing. Let’s get to it.

Here is Raw if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

We cut to the parking lot, where HHH and Chyna attack Kane (it’s so strange to see him in street clothes) until Big Show makes the save. Show gets dropped with a low blow and everyone leaves.

Here is Big Show to ask who is the top dog now. Yeah he fed Al Snow’s dog to him, because no one is crazier than he is. If he’s that crazy, then he’ll fight any dog in the back who wants the Hardcore Title.

Hardcore Title: Big Boss Man vs. British Bulldog

The Bulldog is challenging in his first appearance in two years and has a terrible remix of Rule Britannia. They immediately fight into the crowd, with Boss Man taking over. Back in the ring and Boss Man’s chair shot is blocked, allowing Bulldog to get in a nightstick shot to win the title.

Post match Al Snow, now as Leif Cassidy (dig that Rockers’ theme) comes to the ring and shoves the paper he wrote on Monday into Boss Man’s mouth. Bulldog hands the title to Snow and leaves as apparently we have another new champion.

Kane pours gasoline on HHH’s car. Post break, HHH and Chyna try to save the car but get covered in gas as well. They thankfully run off, with Kane giving chase.

Edge and Christian vs. New Brood

For some reason Steven Richards, dressed in an old Christian Gothic shirt, is here with Edge and Christian, while Gangrel is here with the New Brood. Matt runs Edge over to start but Edge snaps off a hurricanrana to even things up. Jeff comes in to anklescissors Christian down as commentary talks about how Steve Austin might be around tonight. Edge is sent outside though and Jeff scores with a big dive to take him down.

Back in and Matt hits a top rope Lionsault for no cover, instead opting to hammer away and take his shirt off. The Hardys’ flip splash/fist drop combination gets two but the top rope splash/legdrop combination completely misses. Christian comes back in and everything breaks down, with Poetry In Motion hitting Christian in the corner. Gangrel tries to come in but Richards cuts him off as Jeff accidentally clotheslines Matt on the floor. Back in and a side slam/reverse DDT combination gives Edge the pin on Jeff.

Rating: C+. As has been the case in recent weeks, Edge and Christian are really starting to feel it in the ring. At the same time, I’m not sure who looks at the Hardys and thinks it makes sense to have them be heels. They’re as much of the young stars who could have a gaggle of female fans around them as can be so let’s put him with the evil vampire? Anyway, nice match here, which shouldn’t be a surprise.

Post match the Bloodbath is loaded up but here is Kane to wreck a bunch of people instead. Kane grabs the mic and promises to burn HHH tonight.

British Bulldog won’t talk about what he did tonight and leaves the arena.

X-Pac arrives and is looking for Kane.

HHH promises to make Kane bleed and he’s got the sledgehammer to make it happen. He’s also got the title, and Kane can come get it.

Here is X-Pac for a chat and he gets right to the point by calling Kane to the ring. Tonight, Kane needs to get his mind right because he can be the WWF Champion, but he’s doing it without X-Pac. As we see Big Show and Undertaker watching in the back, X-Pac says Kane interfered last week when asked not to, so the team is over.

Some masked men, who are certainly NOT Chris Jericho and Howard Finkel, arrive while speaking Spanish.

Here are the Hollys, with Hardcore saying he wants a heavyweight fight. He wants some “googly eyed monkey” to come down here and get in this ring, as long as they meet the requirements. Cue Chyna of all people, but Hardcore isn’t sure about this. Even with the extra silicon included, she might make the requirements, but he isn’t facing a woman. Chyna hits him in the back with the scale and it seems that they are indeed fighting.

Hardcore Holly vs. Chyna

Crash Holly is here with Hardcore and gets knocked off the apron to start. Crash’s distraction lets Hardcore get in a shot but Chyna DDTs him down. Cue Jeff Jarrett to jump Chyna for the DQ.

Post match Billy Gunn runs in for the save. Then he gives Chyna the Fameasser. Then the Hollys fight again, as is their custom.

X-Pac leaves.

Kane broods.

The Rock and Mankind arrive, with Mankind seemingly not liking having to ride in the trunk of Rock’s limo. Also, it doesn’t matter what Mankind thinks of his new shirt. Mankind: “I gotta steal that one sometime.”

Bradshaw vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Faarooq and D-Von Dudley are here too. They start fighting (duh) and go to the floor without much trouble. Bubba sends him into the steps to take over but Bradshaw kicks him in the face back inside. The big clothesline drops Bubba as commentary tries to figure out why he has such a speech impediment. D-Von comes in for the fast DQ.

Big Boss Man is livid at Al Snow.

Here are Test and Stephanie McMahon for a chat. Stephanie calls out Linda McMahon and the Stooges for a special announcement, so here they are post haste. Apparently Stephanie and “Andrew” (still weird to hear) have set their wedding date for October 11, and all of the fans are invited (So do they get a ticket to the show?). Cue the Mean Street Posse and Terri Runnels to interrupt for a staredown, but Stephanie isn’t having that.

Cue Shane McMahon to call off the Posse, because the war with Test is over. With the Posse gone, Shane talks about how he owes Stephanie an apology, because she is a woman and not a baby anymore. He thought everything he was doing was the right thing but he was wrong. Go with his blessing and marry Andrew, but he better always do the right thing and treat her right. Test shakes his hand and Shane hugs Stephanie. Well that was sudden.

The Rock, with Mankind, seems to flirt with Lilian Garcia, before sending her away. They’re ready to bury Big Show and Undertaker tonight. Mankind likes it as well, to the tune of Stayin Alive.

WWF Title: HHH vs. Kane

HHH, with Chyna (with sledgehammer), is defending. Kane (in the swanky inverted red and black gear) comes out with a blowtorch, which can’t end well. HHH and Chyna jump him as he enters but Kane clotheslines his way to freedom. Some right hands put HHH down in the corner and a clothesline lets Kane hammer away even more.

HHH gets in a single shot but dives into a choke, only to have Chyna say she can talk to X-Pac for Kane. The distraction lets HHH get in a low blow, followed by the jumping knee for two. Kane starts fighting up and hits a bulldog of all things, setting up the top rope clothesline. The facebuster cuts Kane off but the Pedigree is countered with a backdrop. The chokeslam connects but Chyna gets in a sledgehammer shot from behind. That’s enough for a Pedigree to retain the title.

Rating: B-. There were some shenanigans here, but some interference from a manager and a sledgehammer shot (which granted does sound rather ridiculous when you say it out loud) is rather minor by comparison. Kane is a star who can be put in a spot like this to make a top villain sweat and that is what he was here. HHH racks up another pin over another former World Champion though and that’s a good idea for his title reigns.

Post match here are Undertaker and Kane to chase off Chyna and HHH, followed by a stare at Kane.

Ken Shamrock is looking for Chris Jericho. You might try the ring as you have a scheduled match.

Ken Shamrock vs. Chris Jericho

Hold on though as there is no Jericho, so Shamrock has to threaten to come to the back and drag him out here. Shamrock goes up the ramp but Jericho’s music starts playing. Cue Jericho in the ring….in a shark cage, which is for Shamrock’s safety. Jericho shows us a photo of him putting Shamrock in the Walls last week but Shamrock takes the baseball bat that Jericho is carrying. Jericho calls for “Harold” to raise the cage, but we see the Fink arguing with Lilian Garcia in the back. Shamrock bends the cage bars open and pulls Jericho out, meaning the beating is on. Referees break it up and Jericho bails as there is no match.

During the break, Jericho fired Finkel and left without him.

Here is Jeff Jarrett, with Debra and Miss Kitty, for a chat. Jarrett says he is embarrassed to be in the ring with Chyna at Unforgiven, because women belong in the kitchen. He sees Fabulous Moolah in the front row so let’s have her get in the ring. Jarrett talks about how Moolah knew her place in her career and wouldn’t fight the men, but Moolah says it’s because they were scared of her. That’s good for a guitar shot to the head so Mae Young runs in as well, earning herself a Figure Four.

We get the debut of Val Venis’ latest video, where he talks about how unlike Steve Blackman, he doesn’t use instruments of pain. The woman next to him looks rather confused for most of this.

Tag Team Titles: Mankind/The Rock vs. Big Show/Undertaker

Rock and Mankind are defending in a Buried Alive match. Mankind goes after both of them at once before Rock shows up, as Mankind isn’t all that bright. Here’s the Rock to go after Undertaker, who gets sent face first into the steps. Back in (with Cole’s second “here comes the cavalry” in about a minute) and a double clothesline drops Show, but Undertaker breaks up the People’s Elbow.

That leaves Show to chokeslam Mankind and carry him to the grave as Rock hits Undertaker with a chair. Mankind is almost in the grave when Rock comes up with a low blow to put Show in instead. Undertaker makes the save but gets punched down the mound of dirt. With Rock and Undertaker fighting off, Show LAUNCHES Mankind off the stage and onto the mound, sending him bouncing into the grave (I’ve seen that for years now and it’s still an amazing sight).

Since that’s a huge spot, Mankind comes up with Mr. Socko to knock Show out and put him in the grave instead. Mankind starts pouring in the dirt and we cut to Rock and Undertaker fighting in the back. Cue HHH to jump Rock so Undertaker leaves them to it. Kane comes in to beat up HHH and then shrugs off Chyna’s chair to the back.

Undertaker is back in the arena and there’s a shovel to Mankind’s back to put him in the grave….but he pops right back out. Show smothers him down on the ground and goes to bury him until Rock makes a save this time. Then it’s HHH out with a sledgehammer to….Show, allowing him to bury Mankind. After several shovels full, the referee calls it and Show/Undertaker win the titles.

Rating: B-. This was such a weird match as it felt like a game show more than a fight. The Mankind toss was awesome (he was AIRBORNE) but other than that it was a bunch of saves from putting someone in a grave and covering them with dirt. There is only so much you can get out of that because it is such an insane (and messy) match, but it kept my interest.

Post match HHH buries Mankind even more as an ambulance arrives…..and Steve Austin is in the back. The big beatdown is on and Austin throws HHH in the back of the ambulance. Austin drives it outside and jumps into the cab of a semi truck to ram the ambulance (So that’s where Hogan got the idea for Rock in 2002.) a few times to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. These shows are all over the place with such a big collection of insanity that it can be difficult to remember what happens. That being said, this show had me wanting to see what was next and the insanity was limited. They still need to announce something for Unforgiven already, but you can probably figure out where a lot of this is going. Just come up with a main story already instead of everyone going after HHH, who is going after a bunch of people as well. For now though, nice Smackdown, with Austin being back being a big pickup.

 

 

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Smackdown
Date: September 2, 1999
Location: Centrum, Worcester, Massachusetts
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

It’s the second regular episode of the show and in theory that means things are still going to be stacked for the time being. The WWF is going to want to get as much attention to this show as they can right off the bat and they’re coming in hot with HHH as the new WWF Champion. Other than that, Unforgiven is coming up so the build might begin soon. Let’s get to it.

Here is Monday Night Raw if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Chyna vs. Billy Gunn

The winner gets an Intercontinental Title shot. Hold on though as here is Intercontinental Champion Jeff Jarrett (with Debra and Miss Kitty) to join commentary. Chyna pulls down her trunks to get to Gunn to start, earning herself a kick into the corner. Gunn grabs a delayed vertical suplex but Chyna is right back with a DDT for two.

An elbow to the face drops Chyna as Jarrett wants more aggression. Chyna is sent outside and hang on as she seems to have hurt her elbow. Tis but goldbricking of course though as Chyna sends him into the steps to take over again. Back in and the referee gets bumped, meaning Gunn’s Fameasser gets no count. Cue HHH with a Pedigree to Gunn to give Chyna the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C-. Not much to this one as they blazed through it and then had the interference. Granted for 1999, that’s a pretty clean finish, as there were only three people involved. Chyna vs. Jarrett for the title is a big enough deal, as Chyna continues to be completely unlike any woman wrestling has ever seen. If nothing else, Gunn vs. HHH has potential to be…I’m not sure what that would be actually but it seems to be where we are going, even if it is for the short term.

Here is a ticked off Big Show to say he is tired of the “ink sack carcass of dead meat” the Undertaker giving him all of this tough love so get down here NOW. Instead he gets Paul Bearer, who doesn’t like that kind of rudeness to Undertaker. Show drops him with one shot and demands the man instead of the messenger.

Cue Undertaker to get in Show’s face and whisper something in his ear. That leaves Show confused, but Undertaker says Show did a good number on Bearer. Then Undertaker grabs Show by the throat and says if he ever disrespects him like that again, he’ll choke Show with his own tongue. Bearer wakes up and looks stunned as the other two leave. The evil alliance continues, and that should be a good thing going forward as you can always use a pair of giants.

Here is Mankind to talk about…..playing electronic football as a kid. He happened to be naked at the time and his mother walked in. That was the most embarrassing moment of his career, at least until he lost to Shane McMahon. Therefore, he wants revenge, but he also wants to talk about the Rock. He admires the Rock’s testicular fortitude for facing Big Show and Undertaker on his own, which is what made Mankind want to be his partner.

Cue the Rock (with Mankind trying to start his own ROCKY chant) to say they’re partners but they’re not friends. Rock does recognize how crazy Mankind is but he NEVER wants Mankind to talk about Rock’s testicles again. Cue Shane McMahon, with HHH and Chyna, to interrupt. Shane brags about HHH being World Champion and knows Rock and Mankind want a title shot. That’s why they can meet in a #1 contenders match later tonight, and if they don’t bring it, they’re suspended for six months.

Also tonight, HHH gets to defend against a bald headed SOB. HHH panics, though Shane never said any name. With the villains gone, Mankind reminds Rock that he beat him for the WWF Title the last time they were in this very building. Mankind suggests that Rock could go easy on him tonight (Mankind: “That sounds cool to Mankind.”) but that isn’t going to happen. Instead, Rock threatens to shine the title up real nice and stick it inside Mankind, though Mankind doesn’t think it’ll fit. These two have amazing chemistry and Mankind’s reactions are always hilarious.

There is a limo waiting in the back.

Howard Finkel, as brainwashed by Chris Jericho, interrupts Tony Chimmel for embarrassing him….so let’s have a tuxedo match. The winner can be the ring announcer for the show, but Chimmel isn’t interested. Finkel is ready to go, and then decks Chimmel anyway. Let’s just ring the bell and get this over with.

Tony Chimmel vs. Howard Finkel

Tuxedo match and Chimmel gets Fink’s jacket off as Chris Jericho is watching in the back. Fink loses his shirt and pants, revealing the red underwear. The rest of the clothes come off as this was the rare stripping match squash.

X-Pac asks Kane to stay in the back tonight so he won’t be seen as Kane’s little buddy again.

Mankind respects The Rock, but tonight he can become #1 contender in the same arena where he became WWF Champion before. Oh and he’ll try to avoid Rock doing something to him with a belt.

HHH is worried about Shane McMahon’s announcement but Chyna tries to calm him down.

During the break, Chris Jericho suggested Howard Finkel become an underwear model. I didn’t expect to hear that today.

Chris Jericho vs. X-Pac

Hold on though as cue Ken Shamrock to chase Jericho away before the bell. X-Pac calms Shamrock down (that’s impressive) and then kicks Jericho in the face to start. A belly to back suplex gives X-Pac two and here are Big Show and Undertaker to watch from the stage. Jericho gets knocked off the top and out to the floor but manages to cut off a baseball slide to take over. A suplex back inside gives Jericho an arrogant two but he dives into a raised boot. X-Pac makes the comeback, including the flipping clothesline for two, followed by the kick to the head in the corner. The Bronco Buster connects but Big Show comes in to jump X-Pac for the DQ.

Rating: C+. Jericho is still off to a bit of a weird start around here but at least he has a feud going with Shamrock. At the same time, you have X-Pac in the lands of the giants and it still isn’t quite working. Seeing him getting beaten up over and over makes sense, but it’s a stretch to buy him hanging in there when he actually faces these giants. X-Pac is very talented, though there comes a point where it’s hard to believe what you’re seeing.

Post match Show goes after X-Pac as Shamrock runs back out to chase Jericho off. Kane runs in to save X-Pac but Undertaker, still on the stage, says Kane caring for X-Pac makes him weaker.

Post break Shamrock can’t get into Jericho’s locker room.

HHH wants an explanation from Shane McMahon but gets nothing.

WWF Title: HHH vs. ???

HHH is defending and here is Shane to introduce his bald headed SOB opponent: GILLBERG, whose Light Heavyweight Title isn’t on the line. Suddenly HHH and Shane are fine again, even as Gillberg hits a spear to start fast. A gordbuster gets HHH out of trouble though and the beating is on in the corner. Shane joins commentary as Gillberg fights back, only to miss a spear and hit the post. The Pedigree retains the title fast.

Post match HHH grabs a chair, punches out the referee, and wrecks Gillberg’s knee.

We recap Big Boss Man kidnapping Al Snow’s dog Pepper. Boss Man told Snow to come to his hotel room this week and he’ll get Pepper back.

Earlier today, Snow went to the hotel room where Boss Man (who Snow keeps calling Ray in a rare moment for Boss Man) says Pepper is at the cleaners. Boss Man offers him some food, which Snow eats….and is then told that it’s his dog cooked up. Snow, with the chair stuck to him, is immediately sick, so Boss Man knocks him out and beats him up.

Ken Shamrock is still looking for Chris Jericho.

The Rock vs. Mankind

The winner gets HHH for the WWF Title at Unforgiven. They fight to the floor in a hurry and Rock suplexes him on the ramp. Mankind is right back with a hard whip into the steps (or chairs, according to Cole). Hold on though as Mankind grabs a headset to do Rock’s mid-match commentary deal, earning himself another beating so Rock can show him the right way to do this.

Back in and a double arm DDT plants Rock, meaning it’s time for Mr. Socko. The referee gets bumped so here is Shane McMahon to take over. A Rock Bottom gets Rock out of trouble but here are HHH and Chyna to beat on the two of them. That’s enough for Shane to call for the bell.

Rating: C+. They didn’t have time to do much but my goodness the chemistry that these two have is insane every time. It was on display here, even if they were rushed and got to the screwy ending on top. Mankind knows how to play off the Rock so well and Rock looks like he wants to like him just a bit, making this one of the weirdest relationships in WWF history.

Shane calls it a double DQ and I think you know where this is going.

Post break, Shane promises to make it up to Rock and Mankind.

Val Venis vs. Ken Shamrock

Shamrock is in jeans instead of trunks here as he has been looking for Chris Jericho all night. Venis hammers away to start but has to bail from the threat of an ankle lock. Back in and Venis hammers away again, only to get pulled into the ankle lock for the fast tap. Well that was quick.

Post match Shamrock won’t let go, but an invading Steve Blackman breaks it up. Shamrock beats him up too but here is Chris Jericho to call Shamrock out to fight him outside. The chase is on and Howard Finkel, dressed as Jericho, maces Shamrock. Jericho gets the Walls and Fink takes pictures, leaving Jericho to shout I KILLED KENNY! Then Fink is thrown into the trunk of Jericho’s car as Jericho speeds off. Jericho was still figuring it out but you could feel the energy every time he’s on screen.

Here are Shane McMahon, HHH and Chyna to “make it right” with Mankind and The Rock. Shane says they can get out here in five seconds and starts a fast count, only to be cut off by Test. He calls all three of them girls and brings out the other owners of the WWF: Linda and Stephanie McMahon! Linda says that since Vince McMahon isn’t here tonight, the two of them hold controlling interest over Shane (I don’t think that’s how ownership works). Therefore, tonight it’s Rock/Mankind vs. Shane/HHH, which Shane makes a Tag Team Title match.

During the break, Shane tried to get HHH to see this as a positive but HHH seems to be rather chill.

We look at the four corner #1 contenders match from Raw, with Cole calling it a “train wreck”.

Tag Team Gauntlet

The winners get a future Tag Team Title shot and it’s the Hollys in at #1 and Mideon/Viscera in at #2. Viscera splashes Crash in the corner to start and the big legdrop to the back of the head makes it worse. Mideon’s pumphandle slam gets two but Crash reverses a powerbomb into a hurricanrana for two. Everything breaks down and Viscera splashes Mideon by mistake, giving Hardcore the fast pin.

Droz/Prince Albert are in at #3, with Albert quickly taking Crash down. Crash eyepokes his way to freedom and it’s back to Hardcore vs. Droz in the most 1999 match around. A quick Falcon Arrow pins Droz and it’s the Hardyz (still the New Brood) in at #4. Matt moonsaults in onto Crash for the pin in about ten seconds and the Acolytes are in at #5.

Bradshaw hammers Matt down but Jeff comes in for a save as the pace picks up. Matt hits a neckbreaker on Faarooq and Jeff adds the Swanton. That’s not enough for a cover though, as the Clothesline From Bradshaw knocks Jeff out of the air for the pin. Blue Meanie/Stevie Richards are in at #6 but Meanie takes so long dancing to the ring that Richards gets pinned in about 15 seconds.

Edge and Christian are in at #7 with Edge tornado DDTing Bradshaw. Faarooq sends Christian into the steps but….the Dudley Boyz make their debut and deck everyone with 2x4s for the double DQ. Still no #1 contenders, but that might take things in a rather new direction.

Rating: C-. Negative points for the screwy finish, but the Dudleys debuting might make up for a bit of it. The biggest problem here was the same thing happens in every fast paced gauntlet match: it’s a little hard to buy that these people can win a fall in about 30 seconds here while it takes so much longer in a regular match. The chaos in the division continues, but said division just got a heck of a lot stronger.

Post match, the Dudleys talked about how they are the best team in the world and are here to prove it. You need to remember three things: thou shall not steal, thou shall not kill and thou shall not mess with the Dudleys. Bubba’s stutter didn’t quite fit here as it comes off as comedy rather than the otherwise serious vibe.

Tag Team Titles: Shane McMahon/HHH vs. The Rock/Mankind

Rock/Mankind are defending and Chyna is here with the challengers. The fight is on before Rock comes to the ring but he’s right there to make the save. Shane gets sent outside but a Chyna distraction lets HHH get in a chair shot to drop Mankind. Back in and Shane hammers away but Mankind punches him right back down. With that not working, HHH comes back in with a suplex and Shane adds a middle rope elbow for two.

HHH’s jumping knee gets the same as this is oddly slow paced. The Bronco Buster takes too long for Shane though and it’s a clothesline from Rock to put him down. Shane is smart enough to offer a distraction though, allowing Chyna to get in a low blow. As usual, the hot tag brings in Rock a few seconds later and house is cleaned. Everything breaks down and Shane gets knocked over the announcers’ table….as Billy Gunn runs in to take out HHH. The Rock Bottom into the People’s Elbow retains the titles.

Rating: C+. This was probably the best match of the night, which is due to the talent involved, as well as things making sense. It was still over the top because it had Shane doing his thing, but it also made sense with the story setup and the interference from Gunn. For a not very long TV main event, this went well.

Overall Rating: C+. The best thing about this time is that the Attitude Era, or at least its signature nature, is really starting to cool down. Things are still moving at a fast pace, but it isn’t completely insane. You have people doing things to each other, but it isn’t so over the top with the nuttiness (Pepper ordeal aside) where you would have to ask “what does this have to do with wrestling”. Things are starting to transition a bit and that is a nice breather after how far things went in the other direction. Throw in the Dudleys debuting for the historic moment and this was a pretty good show.

 

 

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Wrestlemania XVII
Date: April 1, 2001
Location: Astrodome, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 67,925
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

Do I even need to explain this one? It’s one of the all time legendary classics if not THE all time legendary classic and maybe the greatest show in wrestling history. I’ve seen this show more times than I can count thanks to a VHS that a buddy of mine made for me of the original broadcast. As for the card, it’s Austin vs. Rock II and that’s all you need to know. Let’s get to it.

Sunday Night Heat: Grandmaster Sexay/Steve Blackman vs. X-Pac/Justin Credible

It’s so strange to hear these theme songs at this show. It feels like something that belongs in a video game only. Believe it or not there’s actually a bit of a setup for this as Sexay recruited Blackman to team with him earlier today because those feet could be great for dancing. X-Pac and Credible are part of X-Factor, and have Albert (A-Train/Prince Albert/whatever else you want to call him) in their corner.

The good guys clean house to start and X-Pac misses a Bronco Buster in the corner. Albert gets in a clothesline from the apron so X-Pac can take over, including stealing the goggles. Some right hands don’t get Grandmaster very far as X-Pac kicks him in the face. A double clothesline works a bit better and the hot (?) tag brings in Blackman. Everything breaks down and Albert pulls Grandmaster to the floor, leaving Blackman to take a double superkick for the pin at 2:45. It’s nothing to see of course but this was a perfectly nice tag match that did its job just fine.

The opening video is still one of the strangest things I’ve ever seen, with a bunch of clips of people watching Wrestlemania over the years, including a man in a barn with a trumpet, a farm couple outside their house, a man carrying hay, an Asian man on the streets of what appears to be a city in China, two teenagers watching through a TV store window, a twenty something couple in the backseat of a car and a clown. This is interspersed with what appears to be some kind of nuns dancing in a field. The one thing I always wonder: how do you get pay per view on these portable TVs with no apparent cables coming into them?

The stadium looks incredible with the wide shots showing just how massive the whole thing is. There’s something so cool about those visuals where you can see the tens of thousands of people. It’s the first stadium show since….geez 1992?

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. William Regal

Jericho, with a bad shoulder, is defending and has been tormenting Commissioner Regal for weeks due to Regal being an insufferable bore. This includes relieving himself in Regal’s teapot and dressing up like Doink for reasons that still aren’t clear (I’m sure Shawn Michaels is still mad about it too.). Regal responded by torturing Jericho with a series of handicap matches, setting up this showdown for revenge and the title. Notice that I can snap off those details without even seeing the highlight video while I could barely tell you how the main events of the last five Wrestlemanias were set up.

Jericho starts fast with a clothesline and spinwheel kick to send Regal outside as Heyman is in full on analysis mode. You can tell how excited he is to be here. Back in and a top rope back elbow gives Jericho two but Regal forearms his way out of the Walls attempt. Jericho’s bad shoulder goes into the post twice in a row and it’s time for some British limb punishment. An elbow to the face gives Jericho a breather but the Lionsault hits knees. The turnbuckle pad comes off and Regal sends the shoulder into the exposed steel so Jericho kicks him in the head.

A middle rope dropkick gets two but Regal goes right back to the shoulder. In something rather un-Regal, he takes Jericho up top for a butterfly superplex and another near fall. The Regal Stretch goes on until Jericho makes a rope. Right handed chops work a bit better for Jericho but a kick to the arm cuts him off again. The bulldog takes Regal down and the Lionsault out of nowhere retains the title at 7:08.

Rating: B-. This would have been a Kickoff match today so it’s a nice relief to have it actually get some attention rather than being background noise while the announcers previewed the more important stuff. These two beat the heck out of each other with Regal doing vile things to the shoulder. The ending came very suddenly but we got good stuff until we got there.

Shane McMahon arrives in the WCW-1 limo.

The APA and Jackie want to know where Tazz is, sending Bradshaw into an awesome speech about how important it is to be in the Astrodome because of all the sports traditions in the building and IT’S WRESTLEMANIA. I’ve always really liked this one.

APA/Tazz vs. Right to Censor

It’s Val Venis/Goodfather/Bull Buchanan for the RTC here and Tazz’s entrance cuts off Steven Richards’ rant. It’s a brawl to start with Jackie DDTing Richards until Tazz and Buchanan get things going. A big boot drops Tazz and it’s Venis coming in for two off a Russian legsweep. Goodfather gets a chance as well and whips Tazz into the ropes so hard that Tazz can’t even turn around in time.

The former Ho Train sets up a slow motion Vader Bomb with Tazz moving without much effort. It’s off to Bradshaw for a backdrop that barely gets Goodfather over and a better fall away slam to Venis. Everything breaks down and it’s the double spinebuster to Buchanan. A top rope belly to back superplex (with the cool looking ceiling making for an awesome visual) drops Venis, leaving Goodfather to miss the Ho Train so the Clothesline From Bradshaw can finish at 3:55.

Rating: D+. And that’s the worst match on the card. This could have been on Raw but it was a quick way to get the Texans on the card, which is hardly a bad idea. There was no reason for this to be any longer or any more evenly matches and for something like this, that’s all it needed to be. Sometimes you need a fun match instead of a long struggle and that’s what they had here.

Trish Stratus (currently Vince’s mistress) wheels in the catatonic Linda McMahon) but gets yelled at by Stephanie (in a much more compassionate way) for being late. Also, Trish needs to crack the ice for the champagne by hand.

Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Big Show vs. Kane

Raven, with a shopping cart full of toys, is defending so Heyman has some advice for him: “Run like h***.” Big Show comes out late so Raven this Kane with a plastic sign to no effect. Show (in his bad looking singlet phase) finally comes out so Kane throws Raven at him and comes off the top to the floor with the clothesline for two. They waste no time in fighting into the crowd and take their sweet time getting up to the stage (mainly because they’re in a freaking stadium) with Raven popping back up, only to be thrown partially through a wooden wall.

Show slams Kane onto a pile of wooden pallets and chases Raven into a caged storage area. The door is locked so Kane breaks it open and hits Show in the back with a broom. Raven chokes Kane with a garden hose but gets driven through the chain link wall. Kane isn’t finished and throws Raven through a glass window for a scary crash.

Not to be outdone, Show throws Kane through a regular door….so Kane shoves him through a wall. Raven pops in and grabs a golf cart, with Show jumping on the back for a crash (which according to Raven nearly knocked out the power to the entire building). Kane steals another golf cart and the referee hitches a ride, with Raven nearly being run over. This was supposed to start off some kind of a chase but for some reason it didn’t happen, probably time. Or Raven making the story up because he’s goofy like that.

They fight down the hallway and Raven goes through the drink table. That’s enough backstage as they head up some steps to the stage, with Kane winning a slugout with Show. A clothesline takes Kane down and Show gorilla presses Raven but they both get kicked off the stage and through part of the set. Kane drops an elbow/leg to pin Show for the title at 9:18.

Rating: C+. Completely different kind of match of course but I had a good time with it because they went with the full on goofy style instead of trying anything serious. The Hardcore Title was WAY past its usefulness at this point but at least they had some fun here. It didn’t need to be on the show, but would you rather watch another battle of the giants?

Kurt Angle obsessively watches footage of Chris Benoit making him tap out. Edge and Christian come in and say it’s going to be a big night for all three of them, though Angle only talks about how he didn’t officially tap.

Jimmy Snuka is at WWF New York. Cool enough.

An Australian fan is here. This was before the international feel really became a thing for Wrestlemania so this was a little different.

Rock arrives, forty minutes into the show. Are we really supposed to believe that people are just getting here after three matches? This has always bugged me for one reason or another.

European Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Test

Eddie is challenging and has Perry Saturn, in a big fuzzy hat, with him. Test starts with a layout powerbomb for an early two and a gorilla press drop sends Eddie face first onto the top turnbuckle. Eddie catches him on top but a super hurricanrana attempt is easily blocked with a simple grab of the rope. A top rope back elbow to the jaw (must be a Canadian thing) rocks Eddie but Test misses a charge….and gets his boot caught in the rope like a goon.

Thankfully Eddie is smart enough to distract the referee so Saturn can get in some right hands so Test doesn’t look incredibly stupid. The leg gets undone (with Eddie’s help) and Eddie starts in on the knee as he should be doing. With Heyman getting in the still annoying lines of “they’re the same size on the mat”, Eddie grabs a sleeper but gets taken down with a tilt-a-whirl slam. A tilt-a-whirl powerbomb gets two but Eddie kicks him low, allowing Saturn to come in with the Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza.

JR: “HEY REF! THERE’S A THIRD MAN IN THE RING!” There has been a third man in the ring for the whole match Jim. Saturn was the fourth. Anyway, Eddie has to roll through the frog splash and gets caught with the pumphandle powerslam. That’s good for two after Test dispatches Saturn, followed by a big boot that so clearly misses Saturn that you can hear the fans’ non-reaction. Another big boot drops Eddie so Dean Malenko can run in for the save (seemed like he missed his spot, possibly because the aisle is so long). Test goes after him and it’s a belt shot to give Eddie the pin and the title at 8:03.

Rating: C-. Another match that could have been on Raw but was perfectly watchable for the most part. Eddie getting the title makes a lot more sense as Test wasn’t exactly a thrilling choice, though they took care of him a bit with all the interference that it took to get the title off of him. Not a good match or anything, but it’s not like it was anything atrocious.

Mick Foley promises to call the Vince vs. Shane street fight right down the line. Right here in Houston, Texas!

Austin arrives.

Ok so for those of you unfamiliar with this show, it might not have seemed great so far. The real show starts now.

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

This has kind of an infamous build as they’re fighting because neither of them had anything else to do, as mentioned on Raw. In other words, “go out there and do your awesome stuff”. Angle insults the fans on the way to the ring, insisting that he has NEVER tapped out to Benoit. Oh and adults wearing cowboy hats look stupid. Amen brother. Heyman: “This is as excited as a man can get with his clothes on.” Thankfully the match starts so I can get that image out of my head.

Angle takes him down to start but Benoit gets on top before rolling away for a standoff, much to the fans’ appreciation. They go to the mat again with Angle trying to get to the leg but rolling into the ropes instead. The threat of a Crossface sends Angle bailing to the floor as it’s an even match so far. Back in and Angle takes him down again but the Crossface sends him straight back to the rope.

That’s enough for Angle, who forearms Benoit in the face and it’s time for a fight on the floor. Makes sense and that’s a great way to make Benoit look awesome. A very hard whip sends Benoit into the steps and a suplex gets two back inside. Since he’s rather good at analysis, Heyman points out that Angle is now cool with a pin instead of a submission, which is a bit of a concession to Benoit.

Angle snaps off some overhead belly to belly suplexes but eats a clothesline as JR and Heyman argue over the best amateur wrestlers ever. A snap suplex gives Benoit two and a superplex gets a delayed version of the same. You know Benoit can’t just two suplexes so we hit the rolling German suplexes, only to have the third reversed into the ankle lock (BIG reaction for that). Benoit reverses that into an ankle lock of his own so Angle kicks him in the head.

Now the Crossface goes on but Angle rolls into his own Crossface. After a foot on the rope is good for the save, Benoit grabs his own Crossface to make Angle tap but there’s no one to see it. The Angle Slam gets two and Kurt can’t believe it. Angle’s moonsault hits knees so Benoit connects with the Swan Dive for two more. You can feel the energy from the crowd on these near falls. Back up and Angle gets in a low blow, setting up a rollup with tights to pin Benoit at 14:04.

Rating: B+. That would be the first show stealing classic of the night with a sweet story of Angle wanting to prove that he’s the better wrestler but resulting to cheating while still being able to brag about the win. That’s also the kind of ending that can keep a feud going, which I guess I can survive if I absolutely have to. Great match, yet somehow not even close to their best.

William Regal goes into his office and finds Kamala, rubbing a picture of Queen Elizabeth on his stomach. I think this speaks for itself.

Clip of the Wrestlemania pep rally in Fort Hood, with various wrestlers getting plaques (Lita looks completely miserable), though Angle would rather have a medal. There was a parade and the boss got a WWF chair.

Angle insists that he was the better man tonight. Benoit comes in to make him tap again.

We recap Chyna vs. Ivory. The Right to Censor wasn’t happy with Chyna posing for Playboy and tried to censor her, which included a spike piledriver to hurt Chyna’s neck. Chyna came back but got hurt again, only to come back again and come for the title here.

Women’s Title: Chyna vs. Ivory

Chyna is defending and fires off a pyro gun from the stage for a cool entrance. Ivory gets in a belt shot to knock Chyna down and rains down forearms but a kick to the ribs is blocked and that’s about it. The champ gets thrown across the ring like she’s nothing and Chyna unloads in the corner. Some hard clotheslines (JR: “I guess we could call that a Chyna Line. Or maybe not.”) and a powerbomb have Ivory out cold but Chyna pulls her up at two. A gorilla press drop finishes Ivory instead, giving Chyna the title at 2:38. That’s exactly what this should have been and nothing more. Chyna would leave the company before losing the title.

Trish ensures Vince that she has doubled up Linda’s medication and will only bring her down when Shane is at his most vulnerable. Michael Cole, still the annoying interviewer, comes in and asks about the shocking development of Shane buying WCW. Vince: “You want shocking? Tonight, you’ll get shocking.” That’s a guarantee.

We recap Vince vs. Shane and egads there’s a lot to this one. So Vince was having a public affair with Trish and said that he wanted to divorce Linda, who had a nervous breakdown as a result. Vince put her in an institution and had her heavily medicated, basically leaving her as a vegetable (make your own jokes). Shane came back to stand up for his mom but Vince had him beaten down, getting in a great line with “I will never ever forgive your mother for giving birth to you”.

A street fight was set up with former Commissioner Mick Foley (as fired by Vince) pulling out a contract that he signed before being fired saying that he could referee the match. Then Shane bought WCW on Monday, making this the first battle in what should have been a years long promotional war. Got all that?

Shane McMahon vs. Vince McMahon

Street fight as required with Mick Foley refereeing. Shane comes out first and introduces the WCW stars in the skybox (Lance Storm, Stacy Keibler, Shawn Stasiak and Chavo Guerrero are visual). Apparently they were scheduled to do a run-in during the match but Stasiak spoiled the plans in an interview so this is all you get of them. Stephanie in a Daddy’s Girl jumpsuit, is here with Vince.

A slap to Shane’s face gets us going, even though Foley didn’t call for the bell. Vince chokes in the corner but Shane nails a clothesline and something close to a spear. Some elbows to the back draw Stephanie in for the save, plus a slap to Shane. Shane is smart enough to baseball slide Vince and hammer away instead of going after her, plus nailing a few shots to the back with a KEEP OFF sign. A clothesline from the barricade has Vince in trouble and Stephanie begging him to get up.

Shane hits him in the back with a kendo stick and follows with the punches, which look a lot better when Shane isn’t middle aged. A monitor to Vince’s head knocks him silly and Shane loads up the elbow off the top. One great looking dive and a Stephanie pull later leaves Shane crashing in a good landing. That’s enough for Trish to wheel Linda down, just as Vince instructed. Trish helps Vince up and then slaps him in the face, triggering the catfight with Stephanie (with the fans eating this up with a spoon).

Foley tries to break it up (like a gentleman….I think) so Stephanie slaps him too. Trish chases Stephanie up the aisle, with Stephanie doing the most overblown fall I can remember, with her arms flying into the air before she starts going down. She can’t look natural no matter what she does. The two of them leave and we cut back to Vince getting up and calling Linda a b****. Foley breaks that up so Vince chairs him down and puts Linda in the ring, sitting her in a chair in the corner.

Vince isn’t done and throws Shane inside, followed by a bunch of garbage cans. Some can shots to the head have the still near dead Shane in even more trouble. Vince loads up another shot…..and Linda stands up. The place actually goes nuts and the fans are literally on their feet, which you almost never see in wrestling. Shane points behind Vince, who turns around and gets kicked low. Foley comes back in and unloads on Vince, setting up the debut of Coast to Coast to give Shane the pin at 14:23.

Rating: C+. I’ve seen this show literally 100 or so times and I still smile at Linda kicking Vince. This was about five stories all coming together in the soap opera story of the show. It works really, really well with Linda of all people getting a crazy reaction. When the McMahons are on their game, they’re some of the most entertaining people in wrestling and that was the case here. It’s nothing from a quality standpoint, but from a soap opera car crash perspective, this was a blast and incredibly fun.

Yesterday at Axxess (which is rather dark and looks like nothing you would see today), the Hardys talked about how their feud with the Dudleys and Edge and Christian has to end with TLC II because it’s the most dangerous match in wrestling.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Edge and Christian

The Dudleys are defending and it’s TLC II. I would recap the story, but it’s more or less “let them go nuts”. The entrances take some time and it’s a rare instance where you just know this is going to be incredible. Both sets of Boyz waste no time in jumping the Canadians as the fight is on in a hurry. Edge and Christian are sent outside, leaving the Hardys to take over with a double Poetry in Motion.

Not wanting to waste time, Edge and Christian bring in a ladder to drop everyone. Just to make it a little personal, they also stand on Matt’s crotch in the corner. Jeff gets drop toeholded face first into an open chair but it’s way too early for Edge to climb the ladder. A clothesline takes Matt off the ladder (which falls as well), leaving Jeff to dropkick Edge down as well. The Hardys set up a pair of ladders and drop Christian, setting up a legdrop/splash combination off said ladders for the first high spot.

The Dudleys come back in for What’s Up on Edge and let’s get some tables. Bubba powerbombs Jeff through Edge through a table and it’s time to set up four tables (two on top of two) outside. There’s no way that’s going to end well. Back in and Bubba SMACKS Matt in the head with a ladder, drawing a well deserved gasp from the crowd.

Three ladders are set up and all six climb, with Christian and Matt falling to one side (Christian just vanishes over the top and down onto the floor in an underrated bump), Jeff and D-Von falling to the other (and hitting the ropes) and Bubba and Edge knocking each other off to fall backwards. With all six down and one ladder left, here’s Spike Dudley (returning from injury) for a Dudley Dog to Edge off said ladder. Another one off the apron sends Christian through a table at ringside but here’s Rhyno (also taken out recently) to stop Jeff from going up.

Back to back Gores put Bubba and Matt down and Rhyno points Edge up a ladder. Now it’s Lita (Gored by Rhyno last week) coming in and “jerking Edge off” according to JR to bring him down from a ladder. There’s a hurricanrana to Rhyno and Spike chairs him into a ladder to knock Edge off. A Doomsday Device hits Rhyno and Lita cracks Spike in the head with a chair. Lita takes her top off but walks into the 3D, leaving Edge and Christian to chair the Dudleys down.

Edge sends Christian outside to get the big ladder, but you can’t have one of those with Jeff around. Jeff takes out Christian and climbs up the ladder (which is standing on the floor and equally as tall as the ones in the ring) for a huge Swanton onto Spike and Rhyno through a pair of tables. Well actually entirely through Spike as Rhyno was just grazed and his table didn’t even break. Edge brings the big ladder in and sets it up in front of three regular sized ladders.

Christian and D-Von go up the big one but Matt (“HERE WE GO!”) moves it from underneath them, leaving them hanging from the ring. They both fall so Jeff climbs up onto the regular ladders and tries to walk a tightrope to get to the titles but one of the ladders comes down. Instead he climbs a regular ladder and grabs the belt but Bubba takes the ladder away, leaving Edge to climb the big ladder for the highlight reel spear that made him look like even more of a star than he already did.

Two things about that spot: first of all, Jeff’s feet were caught in the ladder that Bubba moved so he swung forward into the spear to make it look even better. Second: a fan asked Edge if he was scared doing that in rehearsal. Edge: “YOU THINK WE DID THAT MORE THAN ONCE???”

As soon as we’re done with the replay, Rhyno shoves Bubba and Matt off the big ladder and through the four tables at ringside for the amazing crash. D-Von and Christian go up this time but Edge grabs D-Von and Rhyno gives Christian a boost to pull down the titles at 15:42. Edge and Christian clutching the titles and looking shell shocked is a great bonus.

Rating: A+. This was magnificent and it really does amaze me how structured they make this feel. They built things up over the course of this match with the fighting to start and then a few big spots, followed by the interference and then the sequence of show stealing spots (Jeff’s Swanton, the spear and the huge crash) to wrap it up. They managed to tell a story with what should just be a car crash match and that’s one of the most impressive things about this whole series. This is incredible and the best team ladder match ever, bar absolutely none.

Video on Axxess. This video was a big reason that I wanted to go to Wrestlemania, though this version looks WAY more fun than what you actually get, mainly due to the crazy long lines.

Heyman applauds TLC II. As he should.

Howard Finkel announces the new attendance record of 67,925.

Gimmick Battle Royal

Luke, Butch, Duke Droese, Iron Sheik, Earthquake, The Goon, Doink the Clown, Kamala, Kim Chee, Repo Man, Jim Cornette, Nikolai Volkoff, Michael Hayes, One Man Gang, Tugboat, Hillbilly Jim, Brother Love, Sgt. Slaughter

Gene Okerlund and Bobby Heenan are out for commentary, which is suddenly a lot sadder. If nothing else, it’s so satisfying to hear Heenan’s healthy voice before the cancer took away its greatness. This is one of the first nostalgia matches the company did n this kind of a stage and my goodness it still feels amazing. It also comes at the right time on the show as they needed to take a little breather after what we just saw.

Doink gets a nice reaction while Hillbilly Jim (who looks like he hasn’t aged a day) gets a VERY nice reaction, mainly because it’s such a fun gimmick. Hayes gets a big reaction, both from the fans and Heenan. Gang was supposed to be Akeem but couldn’t fit in the costume. Gene sounds like he has a nightmare about the Gooker, and yes we get the video of his debut. Repo Man is thrown out almost immediately and the Gooker is out second. Heenan: “This looks like a riot at Let’s Make A Deal!”

Tugboat is tossed as well and Kamala tosses Earthquake, who Gene almost calls by his real name. Kamala eliminates Kim Chee (what loyalty) and Luke is out next. Cornette is out (he and Love had agreed to stay in the corner and lightly hit each other but kept messing up and wound up injuring each other in mistakes straight out of the Three Stooges) and Droese follows him as you might be able to tell that this isn’t about the actual wrestling.

Goon and Volkoff go out next and Doink eliminates Butch. Kamala tosses Doink (and gets booed out of the building), with Hayes, Gang and Kamala going out as well. We’re down to Love, Sheik, Hillbilly and Slaughter but before I can even write those names, Sheik dumps Hillbilly to win at 3:05, mainly because he was too frail to be tossed out.

Rating: A. Consider the reason for the match and you’ll get why the rating makes sense. The match itself lasted just over three minutes while the entrances took 10:28. The entire point of this was to let these guys have one last entrance on the big stage and give the fans a nostalgia trip, which worked perfectly well. I had a good time here and it’s great way to let things lighten up a bit before we get to the last two matches.

Post match Slaughter comes in and gives Sheik the Cobra Clutch to stand tall one more time.

We recap Undertaker vs. HHH. After beating Austin two straight falls at No Way Out, HHH said he had beaten everyone there was to beat. Undertaker came out and said HHH had never beaten him. HHH jumped Undertaker and choked him with a chair (HHH: “You’re the guy that makes people famous. I’m already famous. I’m famous for crippling people.”) so Undertaker beat up his limo with a pipe.

HHH came back with a restraining order keeping Undertaker from Stephanie, so Undertaker had Kane kidnap Stephanie and threaten to throw her off a balcony until the match was made. Not yet done, HHH even destroyed Undertaker’s motorcycle with a sledgehammer. You can feel the hatred here and that’s the kind of video where WWE excels.

HHH vs. Undertaker

Motorhead plays HHH to the ring in one of the all time great entrances, especially with a wide shot of the entrance and a shadowed HHH stepping out and posing to show just how grand the stage really is. Undertaker rides the motorcycle down the long ramp with more speed than you’ll ever see on a wrestling show for a nowhere near as cool (yet still cool) visual. Oh and as a Network bonus: Rollin is still used as the theme rather than the bizarre times where they dub in the Ministry theme.

The fight is on in a hurry on the floor and HHH is knocked through the makeshift Spanish announcers’ table. They get in for the opening bell, with JR mentioning Undertaker being 8-0 at Wrestlemania. The fact that we weren’t even halfway to the first loss is really incredible and makes the already other worldly Streak all the more impressive. A big backdrop has HHH in trouble and a running clothesline in the corner rocks him again. There’s a running powerslam (which I don’t ever remember Undertaker using otherwise) but an elbow misses.

Old School (Is it Old School all the way back in 2001?) is broken up with a pull off the top, which is fair enough as Undertaker was just standing there. HHH elbows him in the back of the head and gets in another to the chest, setting up a neckbreaker for three straight two’s. The yelling at the referee lets Undertaker fire off the punches to the ribs but walks into the facebuster. The sledgehammer is brought in but the referee takes it away. Undertaker has to counter the Pedigree and the referee gets bumped in the corner.

A chokeslam gives HHH two and he’s not happy with the slow count, meaning it’s a beatdown on the referee. Well a kick and elbow drop to the back but for a referee that’s a heck of a beating. Undertaker throws HHH over the corner and takes it outside with HHH being backdropped over the barricade. They fight up to the technical area with Undertaker hammering away and tossing HHH up to a higher level.

HHH finds a chair though and destroys Undertaker with about nine shots about the head and knee. Too much posing takes too much time though and Undertaker is back up with a chokeslam off the tower for an awesome visual (I miss flashbulbs in wrestling). Undertaker isn’t done though as he climbs onto the barricade and drops a very big elbow onto HHH (revealing that he landed on a crash pad, taking away a lot of the impressiveness).

The medics get beaten up and they head back to the ring, where the referee is still down, about seven minutes after he was kicked and elbowed. Back in the ring and Undertaker grabs the sledgehammer but gets low blowed to save HHH’s life. Undertaker kicks the hammer out of HHH’s hands and the slugout is on. HHH tries a Tombstone but gets reversed into the real thing for no count, because the referee hasn’t moved in TEN MINUTES.

Undertaker finally goes over and shakes him before calling for the Last Ride. It’s not well placed though as HHH grabs the hammer and nails Undertaker in the head to counter….for two, in a great near fall (these two are great at those). Undertaker is busted open so HHH hammers away in the corner and it’s the Last Ride (I believe the debut of that counter so it’s not even a cliché yet) for the pin at 18:19.

Rating: A. Sweet goodness I love this match as they beat the heck out of each other because they wanted revenge. That’s how you do a match like this and there was nothing overly cowardly from HHH for a change. They were testing each other throughout the match and that made for a heck of a fight, which is all you could ask for. Well that and some better medical care for the referee. This one holds up very, very well and I like it better than their second Wrestlemania match at XXVII. Check this one out if you haven’t seen it in a long time, or even if you have because it’s that good.

And in case we haven’t had enough greatness on this show, there’s this left.

We recap Steve Austin vs. the Rock with the legendary My Way video. Austin was out for about a year with neck surgery and Rock became the biggest star in the world in his absence. Austin is back and won the Royal Rumble, with Rock winning the WWF Title the next month to set up the showdown of showdowns.

This turned into a game of oneupsmanship with the two of them using their own moves against each other and beating the heck out of each other over and over. You knew this was going to be special because the energy was right there in front of your eyes. The final exchange is perfect too. Rock: “You are going to get the absolute best of the Rock at Wrestlemania.” Austin: “I need to beat you Rock. I need it more than anything that you can ever imagine. There can be only one World Wrestling Federation Champion, and that will be Rock, Stone Cold Steve Austin.” Do you need anything else?

Well you certainly didn’t need the ridiculous Debra involvement (Austin’s wife, who Vince had managing the Rock), which thankfully isn’t brought up or referenced in any significant way outside of the video because it was a bad idea that didn’t help anything. It would have dragged things down, and thankfully it’s just not here.

WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. The Rock

Austin is challenging and it’s No DQ, announced just before the entrances. Austin’s entrance still gives me chills as it’s one of the best of all time as he’s reached a level of popularity in Texas (or anywhere for that matter) that is unmatched anywhere. Throw in JR’s incredible commentary (as only he could do) and a camera shot of Austin walking up to the second rope for the pose with all the flashbulbs going off and the camera zooming out to show all the people) and it’s hard to ever top. Rock….isn’t that popular here, but you had to know that was coming.

Austin’s “are you kidding me” look up at Rock as he poses is great and the fight is on as soon as Rock comes down. An early belt shot misses Rock so it’s the Thesz press and middle finger elbow as they start fast. Rock grabs a swinging neckbreaker but it’s too early for the Rock Bottom. The Stunner can’t hit for either of them so Austin throws him over the top rope as we’re not even a minute in yet. They head into the crowd with Rock getting the better of it and bringing it back to ringside. A clothesline takes Rock down but Austin has to adjust his knee brace.

The running crotch attack to the back gets two and a superplex keeps Rock in trouble. The turnbuckle pad is taken off but Rock nails a clothesline and they fight outside again. Austin gets sent into the ring bell but comes right back up with a bell shot for a knockdown. The bloody Rock is sent through the announcers’ table (a running theme tonight) and it’s back inside for more right hands. Rock’s comeback is booed so Austin gets in his own swinging neckbreaker to get the fans back, plus a two count as a bonus.

Stomping and choking in the corner has Rock in even more trouble but Austin stops to yell at the referee, allowing Rock to charge out of the corner with the hard clothesline. There’s a middle finger to Austin and he goes face first into the buckle. Instead of covering, Rock brings in the bell and clocks Austin (more booing) to bust him open for two. Right hands knock Austin outside but he drops Rock onto the barricade.

The catapult sends Rock into the post for that always awesome bump where he spins sideways. A monitor to the head gives Austin two but the Stunner is countered into the Sharpshooter for a Wrestlemania XIII callback. The hold is finally broken, though Austin comes up holding his knee. A rake to the eyes gets Austin out of a second attempt and he slaps on a Sharpshooter of his own.

Austin’s whip spinebuster gives him two more and frustration sets in even deeper. Rock gets a spinebuster of his own and there’s the People’s Elbow but Vince breaks up the cover. Shockingly enough Rock isn’t happy and chases the rather spry Vince, right into a Rock Bottom from Austin for two more. The ref gets bumped (not sure why it’s necessary in a No DQ match) and Austin hits Rock low. Austin tells Vince to bring in a chair and the boss gets in a shot to Rock’s head, with Vince throwing the referee in for the two count.

A quick Rock Bottom gets Rock a breather but he has to drag Vince inside instead of covering. Another Stunner gets another two so Vince hands him a chair for a heck of a shot to the head. That’s another two and the fans are cheering for the kickouts. Austin has had it and DESTROYS Rock with an insane sixteen straight chair shots for the pin and the title at 28:06 to a monster pop.

Post match Vince and Austin shake hands, officially ending the Attitude Era. Of note: Vince told Austin before the match that if he wasn’t feeling it, he could Stun Vince and they would figure it out the next day. That’s some incredible control to give a wrestler but Austin didn’t go with it. He did however say this was a bad idea in retrospect. Austin and Vince share a beer over Rock’s body and it’s one more belt shot to Rock to wrap things up as JR wants answers.

The long highlight package ends the show with My Way playing us out. Oh and one more thing. The song talks about how someone wants one more fight and then he’ll do things someone’s way. So, after three years, Vince could say to Austin that’s finally doing things…..“my way.” If that’s what they were going for, I need to buy a hat and take it off for them because that’s outstanding.

Ratings Comparison

Chris Jericho vs. William Regal

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B-

2019 Redo: B-

Right to Censor vs. Tazz/A.P.A.

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

2019 Redo: D+

Raven vs. Kane vs. Big Show

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: C+

2019 Redo: C+

Eddie Guerrero vs. Test

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

2019 Redo: C-

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: A-

2019 Redo: B+

Chyna vs. Ivory

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

2019 Redo: N/A

Vince McMahon vs. Shane McMahon

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: C+

2019 Redo: C+

Edge and Christian vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

2019 Redo: A+

Gimmick Battle Royal

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: A

2019 Redo: A

Undertaker vs. HHH

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A

2015 Redo: A

2019 Redo: A

Steve Austin vs. The Rock

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

2019 Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A++

2015 Redo: A+

2019 Redo: A+

I think I’m done with this one as the ratings are barely changing every time.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/24/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-17-oh-yes/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/26/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xvii-the-greatest-show-of-all-time/

And the 2015 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xvii-2015-redo-see-the-previous-comment/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania XVI
Date: April 2, 2000
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 19,776
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This was one of the shows that tied for the most votes for a redo but I’ve seen Wrestlemania X, the other option, more times than I really need to and this sounded more interesting. It’s kind of an infamous Wrestlemania as there are no singles matches on the entire show but it is the biggest show of the year in the best year WWE has ever seen. Let’s get to it.

Lilian Garcia sings the Star Spangled Banner. Sweet goodness she can knock that out of the park.

The opening video is a quick “hey it’s Wrestlemania” before looking at the four way main event with a McMahon in each corner. That’s all that really matters here, but it’s quite the big deal.

Godfather/D’Lo Brown vs. Big Boss Man/Bull Buchanan

Ice T. raps Godfather and Brown to the floor with an original song, including telling the fans to “GRAB YOUR B******!” Brown slugs away at Buchanan to start and it’s off to Godfather in a hurry. That means a slam into the spinning legdrop, only to miss the big elbow (which would have missed by three feet anyway). Boss Man comes in and the fans aren’t pleased, mainly because this is their opener.

It’s back to Buchanan, who hits that perfect top rope spinning clothesline so Boss Man can come in for the running crotch attack to the back. A big boot into the ax kick gets two as Lawler can’t help but freak out over Godfather’s ladies. Buchanan whips Brown into the steps and it’s back inside for the bearhug.

The fans get on Boss Man again as Brown fights out, only to get caught with a backbreaker as JR makes XFL references. Buchanan goes up so Godfather shakes the rope for the crotching. A hurricanrana allows the hot tag to Godfather and there’s the Ho Train to Boss Man. Everything breaks down and it’s a Boss Man Slam to Brown, followed by the great looking guillotine legdrop for the pin at 9:05.

Rating: D+. What a completely bizarre opener. This would have been a filler match on any given episode of Raw and it’s the first thing you see on Wrestlemania? With the heels winning? It’s a really weird choice here and serves no major purpose, so why go this way? The crowd was surprised and a bit deflated, which is a rather stupid choice to open the show. Totally weird one here.

HHH and Stephanie, the Women’s Champion, are rather chill before the huge main event.

We see Crash handing over the Hardcore Title so it can be defended in the Hardcore Battle Royal.

Hardcore Title: Hardcore Battle Royal

Crash, Tazz, Viscera, Joey Abs, Rodney, Pete Gas, Hardcore Holly, Taka Michinoku, Funaki, Mosh, Thrasher, Faarooq, Bradshaw

Crash is defending and this is a big free for all with falls counting anywhere. Whoever gets the final fall leaves as champion, with no limit on the title changes allowed. It’s a brawl to start and Tazz suplexes Crash for the pin at 24 seconds. Viscera grabs Tazz for a posting and a World’s Strongest Slam gives him the title at 56 seconds.

A bunch of people brawl around the ring but another bunch go after Viscera. The Acolytes can’t put him down, though Hardcore can bust Crash open with a shot to the head. The weapons shots continue with no one getting any serious advantage until Hardcore hits Viscera with a cookie sheet for two. More violence ensues as we hit five minutes, though Viscera is starting to slow down.

Abs suplexes him for the title at 6:37 to go but gets sent into a door so Thrasher can pin him with 6:18 to go. Back in the arena and the bloody Pete Gas sprays Thrasher with a fire extinguisher for the title with 5:32 to go. They go back to ringside and Tazz suplexes Pete for the title with 4:44 to go. In the confusion, Tazz even rolls Thrasher up for one, with the referee counting out of insanity. The Hollys double team Tazz inside until he trashcan lids his way to freedom, including a shot to Crash’s head for two.

We have two minutes left as the Hollys fight over who gets to pin Tazz, as you might have seen coming. Hardcore’s dropkick gets two with a minute left but he gets suplexed out, leaving him alone in the ring. Crash comes back in for a cookie sheet shot for the title at 37 seconds left.

Tazz grabs the Tazmission but Hardcore busts a jar of candy over Tazz’s head for the pin and the title at 1 second left to win the thing at 15:00. That was a botched ending as the referee stopped counting at 2 because Hardcore came in too early and shouldn’t have gotten the pin. Also, allegedly, Tazz was supposed to get a run as Intercontinental Champion (possibly in the role that went to Chris Benoit) but the glass got in his eye and he was out of action for a few months as a result.

Rating: C-. I’m not sure what to say about this one, but the biggest problem is it goes on a bit too long. Cut this down to ten minutes and it’s better, as what they have loses its charm a bit near the end. The ending being botched didn’t help things either and there is no big moment that makes you chuckle. It’s not a disaster or anything, but it’s nothing memorable either.

We look at Axxess, which was still a new thing back then. Chris Jericho thinks everyone is here to him, and he might be right. It’s so weird seeing it still be what looks to be a smaller function, compared to the insanity that it is today. This goes on for a good while, likely to clean up the arena.

We look at the battle royal ending again, because it was that much of a mess.

Al Snow talks to someone in a bathroom stall because he has some idea. Steve Blackman comes in and tells him to be serious.

We cut to a closeup of Trish Stratus’ chest, just in case you thought the next match meant a thing.

An enziguri takes Albert down so it’s back to Blackman, who gets shouldered down. Everything breaks down in a hurry and Test gets sent outside. That leaves Albert to get suplexed and Snow slowly hammers away as the match somehow grinds to more of a halt. Blackman’s middle rope headbutt gets two as Chester starts hitting on Trish. Lawler: “It’s like Chester the Molester.”

Albert knocks Blackman away and brings in Test to pick up the pace in a weird near hot tag from the heels. A powerbomb gets two on Snow because this needs to keep going, including the bowling shoe line from JR. Snow is back up with a backbreaker/guillotine legdrop combination for two on Test. Albert gorilla presses Test onto Blackman for two with Snow making the save. He gets knocked down, leaving Blackman to get press slammed again, setting up Test’s top rope elbow for the pin at 7:00.

Rating: F. Other than Trish, this is one of the most irredeemable matches I’ve seen in years. There was no heat, there was no good action and there was no reason to keep this going. I’m not sure what the thinking was going into this but it was a disaster in every sense of the word. This is up there with some of the worst Wrestlemania matches ever and the only reason it’s not higher is the stakes are so low.

Post match, Snow and Blackman beat up Chester because the loss was his fault. Somehow, this made things even worse, if that’s possible.

Kat is sans clothing in the back with Mae Young and we get an Austin Powers style gag with Mae holding up various objects at rather opportune times to cover various things.

The Dudley Boyz aren’t happy with being in a ladder match but they’re ready to walk out as champions. This is when Bubba still had the southern accent and it’s bizarre to see these days.

Tag Team Titles: Edge and Christian vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz

The Dudleys are defending in the first ever triangle ladder match. There isn’t exactly a story here, because that would be missing the point in a match like this. Edge and Christian jump the Hardys before the bell and the fight is on with the champs still in the aisle. As usual, the three brawls break out at the same time and they wind up all around the arena. Bubba gives Jeff a Bubba Bomb and Christian throws in the first ladder.

Everyone winds up inside with ladders crushing the Dudleys in the corner. Edge gets laddered down as well and Jeff hits a DDT on Bubba. Jeff’s 450 hits ladder though, leaving Bubba to put the ladder on him and Bubba Bomb said ladder. Another ladder is put on top of Matt so Edge rides a ladder down, Shawn Michaels style, to crush him again. Back up and Bubba puts the ladder on his head for the Terry Funk helicopter spot until the Canadians dropkick him down.

The double flapjack puts D-Von into the ladder in the corner, followed by Christian climbing a ladder and diving down onto Bubba and Matt. Jeff climbs up so Edge spears him off the top rope in a big crash. Multiple ladders are set up in the middle and it’s Bubba cuttering Christian off for the next double knockdown. The Hardys are back up with the splash/legdrop combination to Bubba, followed by a superplex to bring D-Von off the ladder.

Edge and Christian and the Hardys climb but take each other back down and it’s a huge double crash. A third ladder is set up and all six climb, with the Hardys taking a crazy bump over the top to the floor, with Christian and Edge being shoved onto the ropes for a nice crash of their own. Back in and Christian gets crushed with the ladder, leaving Edge to take 3D (the old version, with Bubba getting a running start). Some tables are thrown in and the Dudleys bridge one up on top of a pair of ladders like a scaffold.

The Hardys make the save because that took a long time but the Dudleys are right back up too. Bubba sets up a table at ringside and climbs onto a table (JR: “Not the Spanish announce table!”) and powerbombs Matt through it. D-Von’s splash misses Jeff and only hits table so Jeff runs the barricade at Bubba, who throws a ladder at him for the nasty crash.

Just to make it worse, Bubba sets up the huge ladder in the aisle with a table for a bonus. Christian pops back up and saves Jeff with a bell shot though, leaving Bubba on the table. You know what that means, as Jeff goes up and hits the CRAZY Swanton to crush Bubba (who sells it like death). Back in and Matt goes up, only to get shoved off the platform and through the table, leaving Edge and Christian to win their first (of a freaking ton) Tag Team Titles at 22:31.

Rating: A. I could watch these every day, but egads they are some violent matches. They beat the heck out of each other and it’s some of the most exciting things you’ll see. One of them was once told that they weren’t supposed to be telling stories in these matches but they were managing to pull it off. That’s absolutely the case, as the series of matches that started here would just get better. It’s almost impossible to believe they would wind up being so amazing, but this was quite awesome in its own right, with the ending being a pretty cool visual. Check this out if you haven’t in awhile.

Linda McMahon tells Mick Foley to go get it tonight. Foley talks about how this is the biggest show of the year and it’s the biggest match ever, so it’s the biggest match of all time. Tonight, he’s proving that fairy tales come true for him. I’ve watched a lot of Foley over the years and you can hear it in his voice: this means the world to him.

The Kat vs. Terri

Mae Young and Moolah are the respective seconds, Val Venis is refereeing and you win by throwing the other woman to the floor. Val gets in his usual jokes about how this is the big show and only comes once a year, but…..yeah you get the joke here. The catfight is on in a hurry but Kat stops to kiss Val. A few hair tosses let Terri pose but Kat nails a spear. Mae gets on the apron and tries to take off her clothes, meaning Val misses Kat throwing Terri out. Moolah goes after Terri so Mae can kiss Val, allowing Moolah to pull Kat to the floor, giving Terri the win at 2:23. This was somehow worse than the usual women’s match of the day.

Post match Mae hits Moolah and gives her the Bronco Buster. Kat strips off Terri’s pants for a bonus.

The Radicalz are ready for their six man match but Eddie Guerrero is more worried about his hair. And Chyna.

Chyna is disgusted.

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

The Radicalz (minus Benoit here) have only been around about two and a half months here. Eddie and Scotty circle each other to start until Eddie’s headlock makes Scotty lose his hat. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker plants Eddie so Scotty dances over to Chyna, meaning Eddie needs to crawl to the corner in a hurry. As JR talks about Chyna looking great, it’s a double suplex to drop Dean, allowing Chyna and Grandmaster to dance a bit.

Grandmaster slams Malenko and makes that weird noise of his, followed by a belly to back suplex to Guerrero. Saturn breaks up the Hip Hop Drop though and it’s the Radicalz taking over for the first time. Just to make it personal, Saturn STEALS GRANDMASTER’S HEAD THING and stomps away even more. Grandmaster doesn’t like the hat stealing and gets over for the tag a few seconds later, only to have Scotty get dropped ribs first onto the top rope. Lawler: “Chyna starting to feel the heat. She’s starting to perspire and get moist!”

Eddie gyrates at her a bit before sending her into the turnbuckle, earning himself a Grandmaster suplex to the floor. Everything breaks down and it’s a double Worm (JR: “Not the double Worm! Well it is Wrestlemania!”) to Saturn and Malenko. The referee grabs Chyna to keep her from killing Eddie and Saturn superkicks Scotty.

The always great looking top rope elbow mostly misses so Scotty can superplex Eddie down. Chyna comes in off the hot tag and cleans house, including a double low blow to Saturn and Malenko. Eddie tries to powerbomb Chyna but she slips out into one of her own (with almost no elevation), setting up the gorilla press for the big spot. A sleeper drop finishes Guerrero at 9:39.

Rating: B-. The wrestling wasn’t anything great but they did an awesome job of firing up the crowd. The people wanted to see what they were doing here and it was a lot of fun as a result. They pulled me into this and I was having a good time with the whole thing. Chyna wasn’t what she used to be but the stuff with Eddie was awesome and would get better the next night when they got together.

Some fans won a contest and were flown to Wrestlemania on the day of the show.

Shane McMahon is ready for Big Show to win the WWF Title.

We see Kurt Angle laying out Bob Backlund for getting him in a two fall triple threat match. Angle didn’t need him anymore and never really did in the first place so good job on splitting them up.

Kurt Angle tries to get extra security after he retains his titles tonight. He’s willing to sign autographs for the guard’s kids! Maybe. Goofy, delusional Kurt is one of my all time favorites and always has been.

Intercontinental Title/European Title: Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending and this is a two fall match, with the Intercontinental Title on the line first and the European Title second. Jericho can’t guarantee walking out as a champion but he’ll walk out as the Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah. As for Kirk Angel and Mr. Roboto, they can have a shirt remind them of their trip to Anaheim and a Y2J beating. Jericho was still finding his footing with the signature promos in the WWF but they would get way better in a hurry.

They start fast with Benoit getting the better of it until Jericho triangle dropkicks the two of them to the floor. Jericho goes up but gets shoved down onto the announcers’ table, leaving Benoit to suplex Angle for two. Back in and Jericho dropkicks Angle down for two more but has to break up Angle’s cover on Benoit for the same. Angle suplexes Jericho for another two and a dropkick puts Benoit on the floor. The crossface chickenwing has Jericho in trouble but Benoit makes the save. A Swan Dive finishes Jericho for the first fall and the Intercontinental Title at 7:54.

Benoit gets smart by going for the cover on Jericho again but Angle comes in with a suplex for his own two. Jericho catches Angle on top but Benoit belly to back superplexes Jericho, leaving Angle to miss the moonsault. Everyone is down until Benoit has to save Angle from the Walls. The spinwheel kick puts Benoit on the floor and it’s the double powerbomb to Angle. Benoit is right back in with the rolling German suplexes for two on Jericho as Angle makes another save.

There’s a dragon suplex for two on Angle, with the most ridiculous count I’ve seen in a long time as Angle’s shoulder is on top of Benoit’s. The ref gets bumped (maybe it can fix his eyes), meaning Benoit making Jericho tap to the Crossface doesn’t mean anything. A belt shot drops Jericho as the referee is back up, just as Benoit misses the Swan Dive. Jericho gets back in and Lionsaults Benoit for the European Title at 13:47.

Rating: B. This is always a weird one as it’s some pretty intricate booking (with Angle being very protected in losing both titles) but it didn’t feel urgent for a lot of the match. They were just going from move to move a lot of the time, but it’s still one of the best things on the show. It’s not like these three could ever do badly, so the match was entertaining and almost non-stop action, so it’s a lot more good than bad.

Vince McMahon promises to be a factor and guarantees to make it right.

HHH doesn’t care about what Vince says because tonight he’s going to show everyone who the man is.

X-Pac/Road Dogg vs. Kane/Rikishi

X-Pac and Dogg have Tori with them, along with the awesome Run-DMC theme. Kane on the other hand has Paul Bearer and the always cool inverted red and black attire. Tori slaps Bearer to start so Kane grabs her by the throat as Rikishi gives Road Dogg the Stinkface. X-Pac and Dogg fail to run away and we settle down to X-Pac kicking hitting the Bronco Buster on Rikishi.

Dogg’s dancing punches set up the shaky knee for two but Rikishi grabs a pop up cutter (that’s an awesome move and someone should use it as a finisher). It’s back to Kane and the pain begins in a hurry. X-Pac gets away from the threat of a Stinkface so Tori takes it instead, giving the fans what they had been waiting on. The Tombstone finishes X-Pac at 4:16.

Rating: D. The match was just a means to an end here as you needed a way to get to Tori taking the Stinkface and X-Pac getting dropped on his head. That’s fine from a storyline perspective, though I’m not sure I would have had it second from the top of Wrestlemania. Not a good match, but what were you expecting given this lineup?

Post match Too Cools out, meaning it’s time to dance. Hold on though as the San Diego Chicken, as in the disguise that Pete Rose wore last year, is here as well. Dancing ensues and the Chicken is far too good of a dancer to be Pete Rose. Kane grabs the chicken (there has to be a joke there somehow) but Rose runs in with the baseball bat. Rikishi takes that away so Kane chokeslams Rose, setting up the Stinkface to end the Rose saga for a good many years.

Rock is ready for the final battle and of course he would do it all over again. This is Wrestlemania and it’s not about the McMahons (oh please) because it’s all about the WWF Championship and tonight is the night.

Some celebrities are here.

WWF Title: The Rock vs. Mick Foley vs. Big Show vs. HHH

HHH is defending, elimination rules, and there’s a McMahon in every corner, with Vince, Linda, Shane and Stephanie here respectively. They might as well have just had the McMahons working the match as they’re the only things that matter here. JR: “Not Mankind, not Dude Love, not Mankind, but Mick Foley is in the main event of Wrestlemania!” That made me smile so much. Foley and HHH pair off as Rock punches Show in the corner to start in a hurry. HHH gets hammered down to start up the running knee but Show runs them both over with a double clothesline.

Rock gets gorilla pressed and there’s one for HHH as well. Foley tries choking Show, who drops down hard onto him to cut that off in a hurry. There’s a side slam to Rock but Foley kicks Show low to break up a chokeslam to HHH. It’s time to triple team Show, including a series of clotheslines to finally knock him down. The Cactus Clothesline takes HHH to the floor, meaning Foley can beat on HHH with a chair. Shane gets knocked off the apron and a chair shot to Show lets the Rock Bottom get the first pin at 4:48.

It winds up going into Foley’s ribs though, meaning Rock had to make a save from even more violence. A double arm DDT sets up the Mandible Claw and Rock adds a belt shot. That means the People’s Elbow, but Foley grabs the Claw on the Rock in a smart move. HHH low blows both of them (maybe not the brightest move) and everyone is down for a bit. Foley hammers Rock a bit and gets two off the DDT, with the fans being rather relieved by the kickout.

Rock kicks the chair into Foley’s face and a DDT gets two, with HHH making a rather illogical save. NOW Foley is willing to team up on Rock and the fans really aren’t sure what to think of this one. The running knee gets two on Rock and this time HHH doesn’t make a save. There’s a double suplex for two more and the ROCKY chants start up again.

A steps shot puts Rock down and Foley loads up the middle rope elbow, only to slam HARD ribs first into the side of the announcers’ table (it’s sad seeing that he just can’t do it here). HHH drives Foley through the table and Pedigrees Foley for two, with a big reaction from the crowd. A chair to the head sets up a Pedigree onto the chair to get rid of Foley (for good I’m sure) at 19:40.

A hard piledriver onto the steps has JR demanding/begging that the match be stopped and gives HHH a rather delayed two back inside. The Pedigree attempt is countered into a backdrop over the top so they fight into the crowd again. After knocking Rock over the barricade, HHH knocks a fan’s hat off to be extra nasty. Rock gets in a shot of his own and they’re both down at ringside again. A suplex sends HHH through the announcers’ table and it’s another double knockdown.

HHH sends Rock inside so Vince posts HHH, drawing Shane back out to jump Vince (you knew this stuff was coming). A monitor shot to the head knocks Vince silly and gives us one of the funniest stunned expressions I’ve ever seen from Stephanie (look that one up if you get the chance). Vince fights up and beats on Shane, because the main event of Wrestlemania can be ignored for the sake of more drama between these two. A chair to the head drops Vince and Shane even threatens the massive Michael Clarke Duncan at ringside.

Cue Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco to get the busted open Vince out of here so we can go back to the actual match. Rock DDTs HHH for two but a shot to the face puts Rock right back down. The Pedigree is countered into a catapult to cut off an interfering Shane and the Rock Bottom connects. There’s no cover due to exhaustion so here’s Vince again (a full two minutes after he left) to go after Shane yet again. Vince grabs the chair….and of course turns on Rock with a shot to the head for two. Another chair shot from Vince retains the title at 36:26.

Rating: C-. It’s too much. There were so many instances here where I kept wondering how many more times we were going to have the McMahons get involved or have the guys fight into the crowd. Storyline wise, this would have been WAY better as a run of the mill singles match, but I can go with having Foley in there for the sentimental moment. Show….well they had an extra McMahon. At the end of the day though, it was all about the McMahons instead of Rock winning the title like he should have, with the family stuff being more of the same stuff we had seen for years. It’s not terrible, but cut out the nonsense and it’s better.

Post match Vince and Stephanie hug because all is well in part of the McMahon Family again. Shane comes in to look at Vince but gets Rock Bottomed. Vince gets one as well and Stephanie takes the third in a row, followed by the People’s Elbow.

A long highlight package ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I’m not sure what they were going for here but it missed pretty badly. The problem here comes down to the fact that most of the matches just aren’t very good. TLC Beta and the triple threat are both great to rather good, but no one cared about the ladder match after TLC debuted five months later and the trio would have one great match against each other after another on higher levels. This doesn’t really feel like a Wrestlemania as there is way too much stuff that serves as little more than filler. It’s not the worst Wrestlemania ever, but it’s rather close to the bottom of the pile.

Ratings Comparison

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

2020 Redo: D+

Hardcore Battle Royal

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: D+

2020 Redo: C-

Original: F

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: F

2020 Redo: F

Edge and Christian vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz

Original: B+

2013 Redo: A-

2015 Redo A-

2020 Redo: A

The Kat vs. Terri Runnels

Original: F

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

2020 Redo: N/A

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C-

2020 Redo: B-

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho

Original: A

2013 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: B

2020 Redo: B

Rikishi/Kane vs. D-Generation X

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

2020 Redo: D

HHH vs. The Rock vs. Big Show vs. Mick Foley

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C+

2020 Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

2020 Redo: D+

Where did that six person tag one come from? And have I ever been that all over the place like I am on the Hardcore Battle Royal?

Not much changes in a few years.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/23/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-16-they-thought-this-was-a-good-idea/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/25/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xvi-the-worst-show-from-the-best-year/

And the 2015 Redo:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xiv-2015-redo-time-to-play-the-game/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 3, 2007
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re actually taped this week as WWE is on its way to an international tour next week. Unforgiven is coming up later this month and we need a card, but there are going to be a few people missing. Late last week, a group of wrestlers were suspended for thirty days over connections with Signature Pharmacy, which had been linked to performance enhancing drugs.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

As a result, after this week, Charlie Haas, Edge, Gregory Helms, John Morrison, William Regal, Ken Kennedy, Umaga, Sho Funaki, Chris Masters, and Chavo Guerrero Jr. are going to be gone until next month. Booker T. was so adamant that he didn’t do anything that he gave notice and is gone. Eugene is gone as well, after not having a prescription for painkillers. In an unrelated note, Cryme Tyme is gone as well, albeit over issues with Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch and yelling at a referee. Things could be rather different for the next few weeks so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Randy Orton attacking a variety of people, including John Cena’s dad to end last week’s show. In case it wasn’t clear in the first place, of course you know this means war.

Opening sequence.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga

Umaga is defending and punches Hardy down to start fast. A kick to the face and a headbutt both drop Hardy again and there’s a chest first whip into the corner. Umaga superkicks him off the apron and we take a break. Back with Umaga grabbing the nerve hold and then nailing a Samoan drop.

The middle rope headbutt misses though and Hardy gets a much needed breather. Hardy forearms away and gets two off a baseball slide dropkick. The Whisper in the Wind gets two but Umaga is back with the swinging Rock Bottom for two of his own. Umaga goes up top but Hardy crotches him down….and gets the very fast pin for the title. Even Hardy is stunned as Umaga kicks him off and out to the floor.

Rating: C. Most of this match was a house show fight until the shock ending. They did a good job of making this feel like a squash until the underdog won off a fluke, giving it almost a Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna Wrestlemania X vibe. Umaga feels like he got caught slipping on a banana peel instead of taking a defeat, which lets him come back as a monster in a month. Hardy getting the title is always a fine way to go though and this was about as logical of a way out as they had.

Post match, Umaga breaks a lot of stuff.

Vince McMahon has a bunch of attorneys with him to deal with his families’ attorneys. Carlito, with a slightly less stupid looking (though still stupid looking) haircut, comes in and gets his singles match with HHH turned into a handicap match with Umaga on his side.

Maria is a bit worried about her match with Beth Phoenix, as set up by Santino Marella. Santino tells her not to worry, because he has something to get off his chest. Oh and he’ll protect her too. Maria doesn’t seem convinced.

William Regal tells a production assistant to send John Cena to him when Cena arrives. Melina pops up and whispers something to Regal about her, ahem, meeting with Vince McMahon. Regal calls her kinky and says she should be ashamed of herself. Stephanie and Linda McMahon show up to glare at Melina. Linda gets in a slap in slow motion and here is Ron Simmons for the catchphrase.

Maria vs. Beth Phoenix

Hold on though as first, Santino Marella says that he is going to beat up Ron Simmons as soon as his arm is better. He also calls the city a disgusting dump, but here is Sandman to interrupt. Santino says Sandman is jealous because Santino gets to make love to Maria, while Sandman only has his stick. Sandman canes him in the head and they go up the ramp, leaving Maria alone. This is completely edited off Peacock for whatever reason. As for the match, Beth throws Maria around with no trouble and finishes with a cradle suplex in less than a minute.

Post match, Beth says she is getting her Women’s Title shot at Unforgiven. Candice Michelle has never seen anything like her before and she beats up Maria again for a preview. Cue Candice for the save.

We see the aftermath of Randy Orton attacking John Cena’s father, including a nasty black eye.

Here is William Regal to recap Randy Orton attacking John Cena’s last week. As a result, Regal has given Orton the night off, but Orton is here via satellite. Orton makes it clear: Cena did this to himself and his father’s blood is on his hands. All Cena had to do was give Orton his rematch for the WWE Title, so does Cena want it now? Want it or not, Regal makes the match for Unforgiven.

Orton hopes Cena’s dad never forgives his son but here is Cena to no music. Cena comes to the ring and promptly beats the daylights out of Regal, including knocking him over the announcers’ table and putting him in the STFU. Referees finally make a late save but Regal is done.

Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

The winners get a Tag Team Title shot against Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch, on commentary, at Unforgiven. Kendrick and Haas start things off with Kendrick being in trouble on the technical side. A wristlock works a bit better and it’s London coming in to stay on Haas’ arm. Benjamin comes in for a gorilla press gutbuster to take over on London though and we hit the neck crank. Back up and London rams heads with Haas, allowing the crawling tag over to Kendrick. The fans get into things as Kendrick hits back to back dives on Haas and Benjamin. With Benjamin and London on the floor, Sliced Bread gives Kendrick the fast pin.

Rating: C+. London and Kendrick are valuable people to have on the roster as they can have a good match with anyone while getting the fans behind them. That should set them up as good #1 contenders and the match should be good enough. Haas and Benjamin continue to be fine opponents for anyone, as the tag division is starting to grow again. That being said, I do wonder if London and Kendrick were supposed to be Cryme Tyme.

Post match Cade and Murdoch get in the ring for what seems like some false sportsmanship.

William Regal is in an ambulance as Shane McMahon walks by.

Video on CM Punk, who is challenging for the ECW World Title tomorrow night.

Carlito tries to fire up Umaga by telling him that HHH was laughing at him for losing the Intercontinental Title.

Vince McMahon meets with his lawyers and asks about his money being secure. After seemingly making Coach GM in place of the injured William Regal, Vince fires a lawyer for suggesting he use a defensive strategy.

Here are Jillian Hall and Daivari, with the former saying she isn’t supposed to sing due having her wisdom teeth cut out but she’ll do it anyway! We get some Summer Lovin before it’s time for a tag match. This is also missing from Peacock.

Cody Rhodes/Mickie James vs. Daivari/Jillian Hall

The women start things off, with Jillian telling Mickie to avoid the teeth. Instead Mickie kicks her in the ribs and then in the face so it’s off to the men. Cody armdrags Daivari down into a few armbars but has to fight out of a chinlock. Daivari drops some elbows for two instead and the chinlock goes right back on. That’s broken up as well so Cody puts on a spinning toehold. Jillian tries a save but Mickie cuts her off, leaving Cody to hit a DDT for the pin.

Rating: C-. As has been the case since Cody’s push began, it isn’t about the match itself but rather Cody getting to establish himself. The good thing is that they have mixed it up a little bit, as he may be beating Daivari over and over, at least they are having it in different forms. It isn’t a huge push, but they’re going about it in a smart way.

Carlito/Umaga vs. HHH

Carlito throws the lefts at HHH to start but gets punched down for his efforts. HHH throws him down by the hair and then goes for Umaga but Carlito comes back in. Some double teaming is enough for the quick DQ.

Post match the big beatdown is on but Carlito grabs a chair, which HHH takes away and wrecks both of them (including several shots to Umaga’s head). The sledgehammer is brought in and HHH blasts Umaga in the head to bust him open. A big sledgehammer shot to the back of the head knocks Umaga cold and I’d assume it’ll take about thirty days for him to recover.

Unforgiven rundown.

Here are Vince McMahon and his attorneys to deal with the rest of the family. Vince knows this whole thing is about the money and everyone here wants a handout. Cue Linda McMahon, sans attorneys, to say she is the CEO of WWE so she has her own money. Thanks to Coach bringing all of those women out here to explain that Vince has had so many affairs, she can take him for everything he has. Vince tries to calm things down but here is Stephanie McMahon to interrupt.

Vince knows she’s the volatile one but they’ve had some great times together. He has a video for her looking at A Father’s Love (this could go so many different ways from Vince), which is him pummeling Linda and Stephanie over the years. Vince panics because it’s the wrong video, but HHH pops up on screen. HHH swears he had NOTHING to do with that. HHH: “Hi Steph.” That gets a smile from Stephanie, who thinks Vince should step down from his position as Chairman of the Board.

Now it’s Shane McMahon coming out to ask if he’s talking to Vince McMahon his father, or an arm swinging, death faking, egomaniacal lunatic. Shane thinks Vince needs to change in some way because this could all work out. Shane: “I always wanted a brother!” That gets a glare from Stephanie, but Vince says he never had any affairs. He was saying all of those things to make himself feel better and he only cheated on Linda ONE TIME. That was the woman who gave birth to the illegitimate son and Vince feels terrible about it. He gets on his knee to apologize but here is Mr. Kennedy to interrupt.

Kennedy says there are a lot of coincidences between himself and Vince and it just so happens that the son will be revealed next week in his hometown of Green Bay, Wisconsin. Kennedy flat out says he is Vince’s son, which Stephanie doesn’t buy. Hold on though, as Kennedy credits Vince for turning him into a WWE Superstar and then says his name loudly, with the MCMAHON at the end.

Vince hugs him, but here is a guy in a suit to say that he represents the mother of Vince’s illegitimate son. It is NOT Mr. Kennedy (darn that stupid pharmacy), but he does have a clue as to the son’s identity: Things Are Looking Up. Vince wants to know what that means to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This was a really weird show as the biggest issue came from having to deal with having to wrap up so many people all at once. The Kennedy deal was the big one, as not only is he gone, but now he has lost the spot in what was probably the biggest angle of his career. The rest of the show wasn’t very good either, but I would wonder how many things had to be changed late because of all of the suspensions. Not a good show, though there were some rather unique circumstances.

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 13, 2007
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 16,827
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s time to go back to the company’s home and it always feels special to be in Madison Square Garden. We are less than two weeks away from Summerslam and the John Cena vs. Randy Orton showdown, but we need something to get us through a few more shows. We’ll start with a bizarre pairing of Cena/Umaga vs. Orton/Carlito, which should make for an interesting main event. Oh and Vince McMahon might have another kid. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Vince McMahon returning last week on a pretty bad night before being told that he has a paternity suit being filed against him over another McMahon child. I still remember that airing live and being intrigued.

Opening sequence.

Wrestlers from all three rosters are around the ring as Vince McMahon comes out. Vince says he has had a few dalliances over the years but he doesn’t even remember this woman. To make it worse, the woman is withholding the name of the illegitimate child, which makes this pure extortion from a woman who should have been on the pill.

We see a WHO’S YOUR BABY sign in the crowd and you know the fans are chanting that. Vince knows his family supports him and he hopes the fans will support him, because this could happen to any red blooded American male. He has been in the public spotlight for thirty years and nothing bothers him…but here is Stephanie McMahon to interrupt.

She wanted to do this in private but that can’t happen now. Stephanie claims that Vince abandoned his family, but Vince thinks she just wants her piece of the pie. She didn’t want to do this in public but she will anyway. Earlier today, she talked to the mother and has found something out: the child is a WWE star, and they’re here at ringside. Vince looks around the ring and suddenly looks rather nauseous. As Vince leaves, he has a staredown with Mr. Kennedy, which the fans seem to like. He also looks at Mark Henry, who kind of shakes his head. There’s your big angle and yeah, this is intriguing.

Bobby Lashley had shoulder surgery this week and blames Mr. Kennedy.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Sandman

I’m not sure why they went to the back instead of just staying in the ring but WWE can do some weird things at times. Kennedy works on the arm to start but Sandman swings away with left hands. It’s time to go up top but Kennedy crotches him, setting up a super snapmare. The Regal Roll gives Kennedy the fast pin.

Vince McMahon is ranting about having a wrestler for a kid to Coach, who has a plan: they can go through the entire roster and figure this out. First up, Coach needs to know when Vince became sexually active. Vince: “Well I was ALMOST a teenager.” Coach says this could be anyone on the roster, so here is Ric Flair to say WOO as Vince appears to have a headache.

Video on Randy Orton taking out Shawn Michaels.

William Regal is dressed as Simon Cowell for WWE Idol. First up, JBL and Michael Cole are here, in costume, to sing a Hall and Oates song. JBL isn’t impressed and yells, but Maria and Ron Simmons pop up for a distraction. Their date is next week, so here is Santino Marella to complain. He has a plan though: sing a song so romantic that Maria will come back to him. They leave, so Simmons gets to hear JBL and Cole sing Rich Girl. Cole asks Simmons about his favorite 80s band. Simmons: “WHAM!”

Here is Cryme Tyme and they have a special deal for us tonight: Lilian Garcia’s chair! Cryme Tyme even autographs it and get….$1000! That’s not too bad, and they get a match too.

Cryme Tyme vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Non-title and joined in progress with Shad in the wrong corner and getting chopped rather loudly. Some knees to the ribs set up a chinlock until Shad powers up to drive Murdoch into the corner. The hot tag brings in JTG to clean house, with a legdrop getting two. Everything breaks down and there’s a high/low to JTG…but Shad BLASTS Murdoch in the back with the chair for the DQ.

Rating: C-. They barely had enough time to make this go very far but at least they did something to make Cryme Tyme look good. The stealing/selling stuff is an idea and it fits their characters rather well. Odds are we are going to get a title match out of this sooner than later and that should make for a good pay per view showdown.

More Randy Orton, this time taking out Rob Van Dam.

HHH is back at Summerslam.

Snitsky vs. Robbie

Pumphandle slam finishes Robbie in about 20 seconds.

Post match Snitsky beats up Rory as well.

Vince McMahon talks to Coach about how he challenged himself to do it in every state, including in a corn field in Nebraska and on an iceberg in Alaska. Coach says they could do a DNA test of all the wrestlers but that would take a few weeks. Instead, they could go over his dalliances and cross reference them to know more by this weekend’s Saturday Night’s Main Event.

Cody Rhodes pops up to say he knows who his father is and gives Vince a condom, just in case. Vince tells Coach to remind him to sue Trojan’s magnum division…and here’s Boogeyman to sing Cat’s In The Cradle, which is about spending time with your father. Coach: “He does appear to have your eyes.”

And now, WWE Idol. We have a panel of judges, including William Regal, Maria (who judges host Todd Grisham because she thinks he’s a contestant) and Mick Foley (“I will do almost anything for money”). The first contestant is Jillian Hall (who has Mick’s attention), who sings her own version of Memories from Cats. Mick is glad he lost part of his ear, Maria says her singing was……well she looks really pretty! Regal: “Perhaps I should change tonight’s main event to Roe vs. Wade because that was an abortion.”

Next up is Nikolai Volkoff/the Iron Sheik (with Howard Finkel), singing the Russian National Anthem. Granted Sheik doesn’t actually sing but Maria stands up. Regal: “It’s a shame that Sheik didn’t lose his voice in this building like he lost the WWE Title!” Sheik yells about Regal joining Vince McMahon’s special club and Regal is AGHAST. He ejects Regal so here is Lilian Garcia to sing New York, New York.

Santino Marella interrupts, saying New York is missing a prostitute. He sings That’s Amore, which Foley says was almost as painful as watching Marella wrestle. Santino tells Maria that they’ve leaving but she isn’t done judging. Cue Ron Simmons to beat Santino up, which is enough music to Regal’s ears to name him the winner. This was WAY funnier than the Dating Game and Regal’s lines were amazing.

Video on Randy Orton taking out Dusty Rhodes.

Cody Rhodes vs. Charlie Haas

Shelton Benjamin is at ringside. Cody grabs a rollup for an early two but Haas snapmares him over for a kick to the back. The neck crank goes on before Haas starts going after the arm. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Haas goes with an overhead belly to belly for two instead. Another chinlock is broken up and Rhodes grabs a hot shot. Rhodes hammers away and hits a dropkick (JR: “Cody learned that from his mother!”), setting up a high crossbody for two. With that not working, Cody grabs a small package for the pin.

Rating: C-. This is the way to build Rhodes up as he needs to prove that he can get a few wins. Haas isn’t hurt by a loss, especially in a singles match, and Rhodes gets a boost. It’s such an easy and logical way to go but for some reason it seems lost on so many promotions. In other words, follow the Cody model.

It is time for King Booker’s official coronation, with Jerry Lawler having to crown him after losing to Booker last week. Booker orders Lawler to put the crown on, dropping the accent as Lawler takes too long. Lawler doesn’t like being told that Booker is the only true king, so there will be no crowning. As a bonus, he has been talking to the bosses, and Booker will be having a match at Summerslam, against this man. We see a HHH video and Booker is not happy. The fight is on and Booker CLOCKS Lawler with a TV monitor.

Post break, Lawler is being tended to by medics and Todd Grisham takes his place.

Summerslam rundown.

Randy Orton took out Sgt. Slaughter too.

Here is Randy Orton for a chat before the main event. John Cena is having the longest WWE Title reign in nearly twenty years, but Orton ends careers. He is taking the title, but he is also going to end Cena’s career for good.

Randy Orton/Carlito vs. John Cena/Umaga

It feels like they hit the Random button to set this up. Orton and Umaga start, which is kind of a weird pairing. Umaga hammers him down in the corner but misses a charge so Carlito can come in. Everything breaks down for a bit and the villains are cleared out so we can take an early break. We come back with Cena pounding on Carlito until he charges into a raised boot in the corner.

Carlito sends him outside to keep up the beating and it’s back to Orton for the dropkick. A neckbreaker gives Carlito two and we’re off to the chinlock. Cena finally powers out of trouble but Orton isn’t about to leg Umaga back in. The knee drop misses though and it’s right back to Carlito, who actually wins a slugout. Orton grabs a chinlock of his own but Cena is right back up again. A backdrop sends Carlito flying and it’s Umaga coming in to clean house. The running hip attack hits Orton and Carlito’s Backstabber completely fails. Instead, Cena comes in for the FU to finish Carlito off.

Rating: C. This was a way to sit around waiting until we got to the big tag to Umaga. There was something to be said about watching Umaga clean house, as he is the kind of screaming wrecking ball monster that you don’t get to see too often. I don’t know if it is going to last long, but at least it worked well for one night.

Vince McMahon kind of liked going over all of his indiscretions with Coach, including one time with two flight attendants on a flight to Detroit. Then Linda McMahon comes in and tells Vince he no longer has a home to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The push towards Summerslam continues and you can see a lot of the card, but there are still some holes that need to be filled. I’m sure we’ll get some of those things covered next week, though it would have been nice to do some of them a little bit earlier. That being said, the McMahon stuff is enough to make up for some of the problems, as a big Vince story can be one of the best things WWE does. Another not great show, but Summerslam delivering could make up for a lot of these problems.

 

 

 

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So it’s been a bit of a rough start to the year for me so I picked the redos myself this year so I’d have a bit of fun. Here’s the first, with a second to come, plus last year’s show.

Wrestlemania XVII
Date: April 1, 2001
Location: Astrodome, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 67,925
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

Do I even need to explain this one? It’s one of the all time legendary classics if not THE all time legendary classic and maybe the greatest show in wrestling history. I’ve seen this show more times than I can count thanks to a VHS that a buddy of mine made for me of the original broadcast. As for the card, it’s Austin vs. Rock II and that’s all you need to know. Let’s get to it.

Sunday Night Heat: Grandmaster Sexay/Steve Blackman vs. X-Pac/Justin Credible

It’s so strange to hear these theme songs at this show. It feels like something that belongs in a video game only. Believe it or not there’s actually a bit of a setup for this as Sexay recruited Blackman to team with him earlier today because those feet could be great for dancing. X-Pac and Credible are part of X-Factor, and have Albert (A-Train/Prince Albert/whatever else you want to call him) in their corner.

The good guys clean house to start and X-Pac misses a Bronco Buster in the corner. Albert gets in a clothesline from the apron so X-Pac can take over, including stealing the goggles. Some right hands don’t get Grandmaster very far as X-Pac kicks him in the face. A double clothesline works a bit better and the hot (?) tag brings in Blackman. Everything breaks down and Albert pulls Grandmaster to the floor, leaving Blackman to take a double superkick for the pin at 2:45. It’s nothing to see of course but this was a perfectly nice tag match that did its job just fine.

The opening video is still one of the strangest things I’ve ever seen, with a bunch of clips of people watching Wrestlemania over the years, including a man in a barn with a trumpet, a farm couple outside their house, a man carrying hay, an Asian man on the streets of what appears to be a city in China, two teenagers watching through a TV store window, a twenty something couple in the backseat of a car and a clown. This is interspersed with what appears to be some kind of nuns dancing in a field. The one thing I always wonder: how do you get pay per view on these portable TVs with no apparent cables coming into them?

The stadium looks incredible with the wide shots showing just how massive the whole thing is. There’s something so cool about those visuals where you can see the tens of thousands of people. It’s the first stadium show since….geez 1992?

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. William Regal

Jericho, with a bad shoulder, is defending and has been tormenting Commissioner Regal for weeks due to Regal being an insufferable bore. This includes relieving himself in Regal’s teapot and dressing up like Doink for reasons that still aren’t clear (I’m sure Shawn Michaels is still mad about it too.). Regal responded by torturing Jericho with a series of handicap matches, setting up this showdown for revenge and the title. Notice that I can snap off those details without even seeing the highlight video while I could barely tell you how the main events of the last five Wrestlemanias were set up.

Jericho starts fast with a clothesline and spinwheel kick to send Regal outside as Heyman is in full on analysis mode. You can tell how excited he is to be here. Back in and a top rope back elbow gives Jericho two but Regal forearms his way out of the Walls attempt. Jericho’s bad shoulder goes into the post twice in a row and it’s time for some British limb punishment. An elbow to the face gives Jericho a breather but the Lionsault hits knees. The turnbuckle pad comes off and Regal sends the shoulder into the exposed steel so Jericho kicks him in the head.

A middle rope dropkick gets two but Regal goes right back to the shoulder. In something rather un-Regal, he takes Jericho up top for a butterfly superplex and another near fall. The Regal Stretch goes on until Jericho makes a rope. Right handed chops work a bit better for Jericho but a kick to the arm cuts him off again. The bulldog takes Regal down and the Lionsault out of nowhere retains the title at 7:08.

Rating: B-. This would have been a Kickoff match today so it’s a nice relief to have it actually get some attention rather than being background noise while the announcers previewed the more important stuff. These two beat the heck out of each other with Regal doing vile things to the shoulder. The ending came very suddenly but we got good stuff until we got there.

Shane McMahon arrives in the WCW-1 limo.

The APA and Jackie want to know where Tazz is, sending Bradshaw into an awesome speech about how important it is to be in the Astrodome because of all the sports traditions in the building and IT’S WRESTLEMANIA. I’ve always really liked this one.

APA/Tazz vs. Right to Censor

It’s Val Venis/Goodfather/Bull Buchanan for the RTC here and Tazz’s entrance cuts off Steven Richards’ rant. It’s a brawl to start with Jackie DDTing Richards until Tazz and Buchanan get things going. A big boot drops Tazz and it’s Venis coming in for two off a Russian legsweep. Goodfather gets a chance as well and whips Tazz into the ropes so hard that Tazz can’t even turn around in time.

The former Ho Train sets up a slow motion Vader Bomb with Tazz moving without much effort. It’s off to Bradshaw for a backdrop that barely gets Goodfather over and a better fall away slam to Venis. Everything breaks down and it’s the double spinebuster to Buchanan. A top rope belly to back superplex (with the cool looking ceiling making for an awesome visual) drops Venis, leaving Goodfather to miss the Ho Train so the Clothesline From Bradshaw can finish at 3:55.

Rating: D+. And that’s the worst match on the card. This could have been on Raw but it was a quick way to get the Texans on the card, which is hardly a bad idea. There was no reason for this to be any longer or any more evenly matches and for something like this, that’s all it needed to be. Sometimes you need a fun match instead of a long struggle and that’s what they had here.

Trish Stratus (currently Vince’s mistress) wheels in the catatonic Linda McMahon) but gets yelled at by Stephanie (in a much more compassionate way) for being late. Also, Trish needs to crack the ice for the champagne by hand.

Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Big Show vs. Kane

Raven, with a shopping cart full of toys, is defending so Heyman has some advice for him: “Run like h***.” Big Show comes out late so Raven this Kane with a plastic sign to no effect. Show (in his bad looking singlet phase) finally comes out so Kane throws Raven at him and comes off the top to the floor with the clothesline for two. They waste no time in fighting into the crowd and take their sweet time getting up to the stage (mainly because they’re in a freaking stadium) with Raven popping back up, only to be thrown partially through a wooden wall.

Show slams Kane onto a pile of wooden pallets and chases Raven into a caged storage area. The door is locked so Kane breaks it open and hits Show in the back with a broom. Raven chokes Kane with a garden hose but gets driven through the chain link wall. Kane isn’t finished and throws Raven through a glass window for a scary crash.

Not to be outdone, Show throws Kane through a regular door….so Kane shoves him through a wall. Raven pops in and grabs a golf cart, with Show jumping on the back for a crash (which according to Raven nearly knocked out the power to the entire building). Kane steals another golf cart and the referee hitches a ride, with Raven nearly being run over. This was supposed to start off some kind of a chase but for some reason it didn’t happen, probably time. Or Raven making the story up because he’s goofy like that.

They fight down the hallway and Raven goes through the drink table. That’s enough backstage as they head up some steps to the stage, with Kane winning a slugout with Show. A clothesline takes Kane down and Show gorilla presses Raven but they both get kicked off the stage and through part of the set. Kane drops an elbow/leg to pin Show for the title at 9:18.

Rating: C+. Completely different kind of match of course but I had a good time with it because they went with the full on goofy style instead of trying anything serious. The Hardcore Title was WAY past its usefulness at this point but at least they had some fun here. It didn’t need to be on the show, but would you rather watch another battle of the giants?

Kurt Angle obsessively watches footage of Chris Benoit making him tap out. Edge and Christian come in and say it’s going to be a big night for all three of them, though Angle only talks about how he didn’t officially tap.

Jimmy Snuka is at WWF New York. Cool enough.

An Australian fan is here. This was before the international feel really became a thing for Wrestlemania so this was a little different.

Rock arrives, forty minutes into the show. Are we really supposed to believe that people are just getting here after three matches? This has always bugged me for one reason or another.

European Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Test

Eddie is challenging and has Perry Saturn, in a big fuzzy hat, with him. Test starts with a layout powerbomb for an early two and a gorilla press drop sends Eddie face first onto the top turnbuckle. Eddie catches him on top but a super hurricanrana attempt is easily blocked with a simple grab of the rope. A top rope back elbow to the jaw (must be a Canadian thing) rocks Eddie but Test misses a charge….and gets his boot caught in the rope like a goon.

Thankfully Eddie is smart enough to distract the referee so Saturn can get in some right hands so Test doesn’t look incredibly stupid. The leg gets undone (with Eddie’s help) and Eddie starts in on the knee as he should be doing. With Heyman getting in the still annoying lines of “they’re the same size on the mat”, Eddie grabs a sleeper but gets taken down with a tilt-a-whirl slam. A tilt-a-whirl powerbomb gets two but Eddie kicks him low, allowing Saturn to come in with the Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza.

JR: “HEY REF! THERE’S A THIRD MAN IN THE RING!” There has been a third man in the ring for the whole match Jim. Saturn was the fourth. Anyway, Eddie has to roll through the frog splash and gets caught with the pumphandle powerslam. That’s good for two after Test dispatches Saturn, followed by a big boot that so clearly misses Saturn that you can hear the fans’ non-reaction. Another big boot drops Eddie so Dean Malenko can run in for the save (seemed like he missed his spot, possibly because the aisle is so long). Test goes after him and it’s a belt shot to give Eddie the pin and the title at 8:03.

Rating: C-. Another match that could have been on Raw but was perfectly watchable for the most part. Eddie getting the title makes a lot more sense as Test wasn’t exactly a thrilling choice, though they took care of him a bit with all the interference that it took to get the title off of him. Not a good match or anything, but it’s not like it was anything atrocious.

Mick Foley promises to call the Vince vs. Shane street fight right down the line. Right here in Houston, Texas!

Austin arrives.

Ok so for those of you unfamiliar with this show, it might not have seemed great so far. The real show starts now.

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

This has kind of an infamous build as they’re fighting because neither of them had anything else to do, as mentioned on Raw. In other words, “go out there and do your awesome stuff”. Angle insults the fans on the way to the ring, insisting that he has NEVER tapped out to Benoit. Oh and adults wearing cowboy hats look stupid. Amen brother. Heyman: “This is as excited as a man can get with his clothes on.” Thankfully the match starts so I can get that image out of my head.

Angle takes him down to start but Benoit gets on top before rolling away for a standoff, much to the fans’ appreciation. They go to the mat again with Angle trying to get to the leg but rolling into the ropes instead. The threat of a Crossface sends Angle bailing to the floor as it’s an even match so far. Back in and Angle takes him down again but the Crossface sends him straight back to the rope.

That’s enough for Angle, who forearms Benoit in the face and it’s time for a fight on the floor. Makes sense and that’s a great way to make Benoit look awesome. A very hard whip sends Benoit into the steps and a suplex gets two back inside. Since he’s rather good at analysis, Heyman points out that Angle is now cool with a pin instead of a submission, which is a bit of a concession to Benoit.

Angle snaps off some overhead belly to belly suplexes but eats a clothesline as JR and Heyman argue over the best amateur wrestlers ever. A snap suplex gives Benoit two and a superplex gets a delayed version of the same. You know Benoit can’t just two suplexes so we hit the rolling German suplexes, only to have the third reversed into the ankle lock (BIG reaction for that). Benoit reverses that into an ankle lock of his own so Angle kicks him in the head.

Now the Crossface goes on but Angle rolls into his own Crossface. After a foot on the rope is good for the save, Benoit grabs his own Crossface to make Angle tap but there’s no one to see it. The Angle Slam gets two and Kurt can’t believe it. Angle’s moonsault hits knees so Benoit connects with the Swan Dive for two more. You can feel the energy from the crowd on these near falls. Back up and Angle gets in a low blow, setting up a rollup with tights to pin Benoit at 14:04.

Rating: B+. That would be the first show stealing classic of the night with a sweet story of Angle wanting to prove that he’s the better wrestler but resulting to cheating while still being able to brag about the win. That’s also the kind of ending that can keep a feud going, which I guess I can survive if I absolutely have to. Great match, yet somehow not even close to their best.

William Regal goes into his office and finds Kamala, rubbing a picture of Queen Elizabeth on his stomach. I think this speaks for itself.

Clip of the Wrestlemania pep rally in Fort Hood, with various wrestlers getting plaques (Lita looks completely miserable), though Angle would rather have a medal. There was a parade and the boss got a WWF chair.

Angle insists that he was the better man tonight. Benoit comes in to make him tap again.

We recap Chyna vs. Ivory. The Right to Censor wasn’t happy with Chyna posing for Playboy and tried to censor her, which included a spike piledriver to hurt Chyna’s neck. Chyna came back but got hurt again, only to come back again and come for the title here.

Women’s Title: Chyna vs. Ivory

Chyna is defending and fires off a pyro gun from the stage for a cool entrance. Ivory gets in a belt shot to knock Chyna down and rains down forearms but a kick to the ribs is blocked and that’s about it. The champ gets thrown across the ring like she’s nothing and Chyna unloads in the corner. Some hard clotheslines (JR: “I guess we could call that a Chyna Line. Or maybe not.”) and a powerbomb have Ivory out cold but Chyna pulls her up at two. A gorilla press drop finishes Ivory instead, giving Chyna the title at 2:38. That’s exactly what this should have been and nothing more. Chyna would leave the company before losing the title.

Trish ensures Vince that she has doubled up Linda’s medication and will only bring her down when Shane is at his most vulnerable. Michael Cole, still the annoying interviewer, comes in and asks about the shocking development of Shane buying WCW. Vince: “You want shocking? Tonight, you’ll get shocking.” That’s a guarantee.

We recap Vince vs. Shane and egads there’s a lot to this one. So Vince was having a public affair with Trish and said that he wanted to divorce Linda, who had a nervous breakdown as a result. Vince put her in an institution and had her heavily medicated, basically leaving her as a vegetable (make your own jokes). Shane came back to stand up for his mom but Vince had him beaten down, getting in a great line with “I will never ever forgive your mother for giving birth to you”.

A street fight was set up with former Commissioner Mick Foley (as fired by Vince) pulling out a contract that he signed before being fired saying that he could referee the match. Then Shane bought WCW on Monday, making this the first battle in what should have been a years long promotional war. Got all that?

Shane McMahon vs. Vince McMahon

Street fight as required with Mick Foley refereeing. Shane comes out first and introduces the WCW stars in the skybox (Lance Storm, Stacy Keibler, Shawn Stasiak and Chavo Guerrero are visual). Apparently they were scheduled to do a run-in during the match but Stasiak spoiled the plans in an interview so this is all you get of them. Stephanie in a Daddy’s Girl jumpsuit, is here with Vince.

A slap to Shane’s face gets us going, even though Foley didn’t call for the bell. Vince chokes in the corner but Shane nails a clothesline and something close to a spear. Some elbows to the back draw Stephanie in for the save, plus a slap to Shane. Shane is smart enough to baseball slide Vince and hammer away instead of going after her, plus nailing a few shots to the back with a KEEP OFF sign. A clothesline from the barricade has Vince in trouble and Stephanie begging him to get up.

Shane hits him in the back with a kendo stick and follows with the punches, which look a lot better when Shane isn’t middle aged. A monitor to Vince’s head knocks him silly and Shane loads up the elbow off the top. One great looking dive and a Stephanie pull later leaves Shane crashing in a good landing. That’s enough for Trish to wheel Linda down, just as Vince instructed. Trish helps Vince up and then slaps him in the face, triggering the catfight with Stephanie (with the fans eating this up with a spoon).

Foley tries to break it up (like a gentleman….I think) so Stephanie slaps him too. Trish chases Stephanie up the aisle, with Stephanie doing the most overblown fall I can remember, with her arms flying into the air before she starts going down. She can’t look natural no matter what she does. The two of them leave and we cut back to Vince getting up and calling Linda a b****. Foley breaks that up so Vince chairs him down and puts Linda in the ring, sitting her in a chair in the corner.

Vince isn’t done and throws Shane inside, followed by a bunch of garbage cans. Some can shots to the head have the still near dead Shane in even more trouble. Vince loads up another shot…..and Linda stands up. The place actually goes nuts and the fans are literally on their feet, which you almost never see in wrestling. Shane points behind Vince, who turns around and gets kicked low. Foley comes back in and unloads on Vince, setting up the debut of Coast to Coast to give Shane the pin at 14:23.

Rating: C+. I’ve seen this show literally 100 or so times and I still smile at Linda kicking Vince. This was about five stories all coming together in the soap opera story of the show. It works really, really well with Linda of all people getting a crazy reaction. When the McMahons are on their game, they’re some of the most entertaining people in wrestling and that was the case here. It’s nothing from a quality standpoint, but from a soap opera car crash perspective, this was a blast and incredibly fun.

Yesterday at Axxess (which is rather dark and looks like nothing you would see today), the Hardys talked about how their feud with the Dudleys and Edge and Christian has to end with TLC II because it’s the most dangerous match in wrestling.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Edge and Christian

The Dudleys are defending and it’s TLC II. I would recap the story, but it’s more or less “let them go nuts”. The entrances take some time and it’s a rare instance where you just know this is going to be incredible. Both sets of Boyz waste no time in jumping the Canadians as the fight is on in a hurry. Edge and Christian are sent outside, leaving the Hardys to take over with a double Poetry in Motion.

Not wanting to waste time, Edge and Christian bring in a ladder to drop everyone. Just to make it a little personal, they also stand on Matt’s crotch in the corner. Jeff gets drop toeholded face first into an open chair but it’s way too early for Edge to climb the ladder. A clothesline takes Matt off the ladder (which falls as well), leaving Jeff to dropkick Edge down as well. The Hardys set up a pair of ladders and drop Christian, setting up a legdrop/splash combination off said ladders for the first high spot.

The Dudleys come back in for What’s Up on Edge and let’s get some tables. Bubba powerbombs Jeff through Edge through a table and it’s time to set up four tables (two on top of two) outside. There’s no way that’s going to end well. Back in and Bubba SMACKS Matt in the head with a ladder, drawing a well deserved gasp from the crowd.

Three ladders are set up and all six climb, with Christian and Matt falling to one side (Christian just vanishes over the top and down onto the floor in an underrated bump), Jeff and D-Von falling to the other (and hitting the ropes) and Bubba and Edge knocking each other off to fall backwards. With all six down and one ladder left, here’s Spike Dudley (returning from injury) for a Dudley Dog to Edge off said ladder. Another one off the apron sends Christian through a table at ringside but here’s Rhyno (also taken out recently) to stop Jeff from going up.

Back to back Gores put Bubba and Matt down and Rhyno points Edge up a ladder. Now it’s Lita (Gored by Rhyno last week) coming in and “jerking Edge off” according to JR to bring him down from a ladder. There’s a hurricanrana to Rhyno and Spike chairs him into a ladder to knock Edge off. A Doomsday Device hits Rhyno and Lita cracks Spike in the head with a chair. Lita takes her top off but walks into the 3D, leaving Edge and Christian to chair the Dudleys down.

Edge sends Christian outside to get the big ladder, but you can’t have one of those with Jeff around. Jeff takes out Christian and climbs up the ladder (which is standing on the floor and equally as tall as the ones in the ring) for a huge Swanton onto Spike and Rhyno through a pair of tables. Well actually entirely through Spike as Rhyno was just grazed and his table didn’t even break. Edge brings the big ladder in and sets it up in front of three regular sized ladders.

Christian and D-Von go up the big one but Matt (“HERE WE GO!”) moves it from underneath them, leaving them hanging from the ring. They both fall so Jeff climbs up onto the regular ladders and tries to walk a tightrope to get to the titles but one of the ladders comes down. Instead he climbs a regular ladder and grabs the belt but Bubba takes the ladder away, leaving Edge to climb the big ladder for the highlight reel spear that made him look like even more of a star than he already did.

Two things about that spot: first of all, Jeff’s feet were caught in the ladder that Bubba moved so he swung forward into the spear to make it look even better. Second: a fan asked Edge if he was scared doing that in rehearsal. Edge: “YOU THINK WE DID THAT MORE THAN ONCE???”

As soon as we’re done with the replay, Rhyno shoves Bubba and Matt off the big ladder and through the four tables at ringside for the amazing crash. D-Von and Christian go up this time but Edge grabs D-Von and Rhyno gives Christian a boost to pull down the titles at 15:42. Edge and Christian clutching the titles and looking shell shocked is a great bonus.

Rating: A+. This was magnificent and it really does amaze me how structured they make this feel. They built things up over the course of this match with the fighting to start and then a few big spots, followed by the interference and then the sequence of show stealing spots (Jeff’s Swanton, the spear and the huge crash) to wrap it up. They managed to tell a story with what should just be a car crash match and that’s one of the most impressive things about this whole series. This is incredible and the best team ladder match ever, bar absolutely none.

Video on Axxess. This video was a big reason that I wanted to go to Wrestlemania, though this version looks WAY more fun than what you actually get, mainly due to the crazy long lines.

Heyman applauds TLC II. As he should.

Howard Finkel announces the new attendance record of 67,925.

Gimmick Battle Royal

Luke, Butch, Duke Droese, Iron Sheik, Earthquake, The Goon, Doink the Clown, Kamala, Kim Chee, Repo Man, Jim Cornette, Nikolai Volkoff, Michael Hayes, One Man Gang, Tugboat, Hillbilly Jim, Brother Love, Sgt. Slaughter

Gene Okerlund and Bobby Heenan are out for commentary, which is suddenly a lot sadder. If nothing else, it’s so satisfying to hear Heenan’s healthy voice before the cancer took away its greatness. This is one of the first nostalgia matches the company did n this kind of a stage and my goodness it still feels amazing. It also comes at the right time on the show as they needed to take a little breather after what we just saw.

Doink gets a nice reaction while Hillbilly Jim (who looks like he hasn’t aged a day) gets a VERY nice reaction, mainly because it’s such a fun gimmick. Hayes gets a big reaction, both from the fans and Heenan. Gang was supposed to be Akeem but couldn’t fit in the costume. Gene sounds like he has a nightmare about the Gooker, and yes we get the video of his debut. Repo Man is thrown out almost immediately and the Gooker is out second. Heenan: “This looks like a riot at Let’s Make A Deal!”

Tugboat is tossed as well and Kamala tosses Earthquake, who Gene almost calls by his real name. Kamala eliminates Kim Chee (what loyalty) and Luke is out next. Cornette is out (he and Love had agreed to stay in the corner and lightly hit each other but kept messing up and wound up injuring each other in mistakes straight out of the Three Stooges) and Droese follows him as you might be able to tell that this isn’t about the actual wrestling.

Goon and Volkoff go out next and Doink eliminates Butch. Kamala tosses Doink (and gets booed out of the building), with Hayes, Gang and Kamala going out as well. We’re down to Love, Sheik, Hillbilly and Slaughter but before I can even write those names, Sheik dumps Hillbilly to win at 3:05, mainly because he was too frail to be tossed out.

Rating: A. Consider the reason for the match and you’ll get why the rating makes sense. The match itself lasted just over three minutes while the entrances took 10:28. The entire point of this was to let these guys have one last entrance on the big stage and give the fans a nostalgia trip, which worked perfectly well. I had a good time here and it’s great way to let things lighten up a bit before we get to the last two matches.

Post match Slaughter comes in and gives Sheik the Cobra Clutch to stand tall one more time.

We recap Undertaker vs. HHH. After beating Austin two straight falls at No Way Out, HHH said he had beaten everyone there was to beat. Undertaker came out and said HHH had never beaten him. HHH jumped Undertaker and choked him with a chair (HHH: “You’re the guy that makes people famous. I’m already famous. I’m famous for crippling people.”) so Undertaker beat up his limo with a pipe.

HHH came back with a restraining order keeping Undertaker from Stephanie, so Undertaker had Kane kidnap Stephanie and threaten to throw her off a balcony until the match was made. Not yet done, HHH even destroyed Undertaker’s motorcycle with a sledgehammer. You can feel the hatred here and that’s the kind of video where WWE excels.

HHH vs. Undertaker

Motorhead plays HHH to the ring in one of the all time great entrances, especially with a wide shot of the entrance and a shadowed HHH stepping out and posing to show just how grand the stage really is. Undertaker rides the motorcycle down the long ramp with more speed than you’ll ever see on a wrestling show for a nowhere near as cool (yet still cool) visual. Oh and as a Network bonus: Rollin is still used as the theme rather than the bizarre times where they dub in the Ministry theme.

The fight is on in a hurry on the floor and HHH is knocked through the makeshift Spanish announcers’ table. They get in for the opening bell, with JR mentioning Undertaker being 8-0 at Wrestlemania. The fact that we weren’t even halfway to the first loss is really incredible and makes the already other worldly Streak all the more impressive. A big backdrop has HHH in trouble and a running clothesline in the corner rocks him again. There’s a running powerslam (which I don’t ever remember Undertaker using otherwise) but an elbow misses.

Old School (Is it Old School all the way back in 2001?) is broken up with a pull off the top, which is fair enough as Undertaker was just standing there. HHH elbows him in the back of the head and gets in another to the chest, setting up a neckbreaker for three straight two’s. The yelling at the referee lets Undertaker fire off the punches to the ribs but walks into the facebuster. The sledgehammer is brought in but the referee takes it away. Undertaker has to counter the Pedigree and the referee gets bumped in the corner.

A chokeslam gives HHH two and he’s not happy with the slow count, meaning it’s a beatdown on the referee. Well a kick and elbow drop to the back but for a referee that’s a heck of a beating. Undertaker throws HHH over the corner and takes it outside with HHH being backdropped over the barricade. They fight up to the technical area with Undertaker hammering away and tossing HHH up to a higher level.

HHH finds a chair though and destroys Undertaker with about nine shots about the head and knee. Too much posing takes too much time though and Undertaker is back up with a chokeslam off the tower for an awesome visual (I miss flashbulbs in wrestling). Undertaker isn’t done though as he climbs onto the barricade and drops a very big elbow onto HHH (revealing that he landed on a crash pad, taking away a lot of the impressiveness).

The medics get beaten up and they head back to the ring, where the referee is still down, about seven minutes after he was kicked and elbowed. Back in the ring and Undertaker grabs the sledgehammer but gets low blowed to save HHH’s life. Undertaker kicks the hammer out of HHH’s hands and the slugout is on. HHH tries a Tombstone but gets reversed into the real thing for no count, because the referee hasn’t moved in TEN MINUTES.

Undertaker finally goes over and shakes him before calling for the Last Ride. It’s not well placed though as HHH grabs the hammer and nails Undertaker in the head to counter….for two, in a great near fall (these two are great at those). Undertaker is busted open so HHH hammers away in the corner and it’s the Last Ride (I believe the debut of that counter so it’s not even a cliché yet) for the pin at 18:19.

Rating: A. Sweet goodness I love this match as they beat the heck out of each other because they wanted revenge. That’s how you do a match like this and there was nothing overly cowardly from HHH for a change. They were testing each other throughout the match and that made for a heck of a fight, which is all you could ask for. Well that and some better medical care for the referee. This one holds up very, very well and I like it better than their second Wrestlemania match at XXVII. Check this one out if you haven’t seen it in a long time, or even if you have because it’s that good.

And in case we haven’t had enough greatness on this show, there’s this left.

We recap Steve Austin vs. the Rock with the legendary My Way video. Austin was out for about a year with neck surgery and Rock became the biggest star in the world in his absence. Austin is back and won the Royal Rumble, with Rock winning the WWF Title the next month to set up the showdown of showdowns.

This turned into a game of oneupsmanship with the two of them using their own moves against each other and beating the heck out of each other over and over. You knew this was going to be special because the energy was right there in front of your eyes. The final exchange is perfect too. Rock: “You are going to get the absolute best of the Rock at Wrestlemania.” Austin: “I need to beat you Rock. I need it more than anything that you can ever imagine. There can be only one World Wrestling Federation Champion, and that will be Rock, Stone Cold Steve Austin.” Do you need anything else?

Well you certainly didn’t need the ridiculous Debra involvement (Austin’s wife, who Vince had managing the Rock), which thankfully isn’t brought up or referenced in any significant way outside of the video because it was a bad idea that didn’t help anything. It would have dragged things down, and thankfully it’s just not here.

WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. The Rock

Austin is challenging and it’s No DQ, announced just before the entrances. Austin’s entrance still gives me chills as it’s one of the best of all time as he’s reached a level of popularity in Texas (or anywhere for that matter) that is unmatched anywhere. Throw in JR’s incredible commentary (as only he could do) and a camera shot of Austin walking up to the second rope for the pose with all the flashbulbs going off and the camera zooming out to show all the people) and it’s hard to ever top. Rock….isn’t that popular here, but you had to know that was coming.

Austin’s “are you kidding me” look up at Rock as he poses is great and the fight is on as soon as Rock comes down. An early belt shot misses Rock so it’s the Thesz press and middle finger elbow as they start fast. Rock grabs a swinging neckbreaker but it’s too early for the Rock Bottom. The Stunner can’t hit for either of them so Austin throws him over the top rope as we’re not even a minute in yet. They head into the crowd with Rock getting the better of it and bringing it back to ringside. A clothesline takes Rock down but Austin has to adjust his knee brace.

The running crotch attack to the back gets two and a superplex keeps Rock in trouble. The turnbuckle pad is taken off but Rock nails a clothesline and they fight outside again. Austin gets sent into the ring bell but comes right back up with a bell shot for a knockdown. The bloody Rock is sent through the announcers’ table (a running theme tonight) and it’s back inside for more right hands. Rock’s comeback is booed so Austin gets in his own swinging neckbreaker to get the fans back, plus a two count as a bonus.

Stomping and choking in the corner has Rock in even more trouble but Austin stops to yell at the referee, allowing Rock to charge out of the corner with the hard clothesline. There’s a middle finger to Austin and he goes face first into the buckle. Instead of covering, Rock brings in the bell and clocks Austin (more booing) to bust him open for two. Right hands knock Austin outside but he drops Rock onto the barricade.

The catapult sends Rock into the post for that always awesome bump where he spins sideways. A monitor to the head gives Austin two but the Stunner is countered into the Sharpshooter for a Wrestlemania XIII callback. The hold is finally broken, though Austin comes up holding his knee. A rake to the eyes gets Austin out of a second attempt and he slaps on a Sharpshooter of his own.

Austin’s whip spinebuster gives him two more and frustration sets in even deeper. Rock gets a spinebuster of his own and there’s the People’s Elbow but Vince breaks up the cover. Shockingly enough Rock isn’t happy and chases the rather spry Vince, right into a Rock Bottom from Austin for two more. The ref gets bumped (not sure why it’s necessary in a No DQ match) and Austin hits Rock low. Austin tells Vince to bring in a chair and the boss gets in a shot to Rock’s head, with Vince throwing the referee in for the two count.

A quick Rock Bottom gets Rock a breather but he has to drag Vince inside instead of covering. Another Stunner gets another two so Vince hands him a chair for a heck of a shot to the head. That’s another two and the fans are cheering for the kickouts. Austin has had it and DESTROYS Rock with an insane sixteen straight chair shots for the pin and the title at 28:06 to a monster pop.

Post match Vince and Austin shake hands, officially ending the Attitude Era. Of note: Vince told Austin before the match that if he wasn’t feeling it, he could Stun Vince and they would figure it out the next day. That’s some incredible control to give a wrestler but Austin didn’t go with it. He did however say this was a bad idea in retrospect. Austin and Vince share a beer over Rock’s body and it’s one more belt shot to Rock to wrap things up as JR wants answers.

The long highlight package ends the show with My Way playing us out. Oh and one more thing. The song talks about how someone wants one more fight and then he’ll do things someone’s way. So, after three years, Vince could say to Austin that’s finally doing things…..“my way.” If that’s what they were going for, I need to buy a hat and take it off for them because that’s outstanding.

Ratings Comparison

Chris Jericho vs. William Regal

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B-

2019 Redo: B-

Right to Censor vs. Tazz/A.P.A.

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

2019 Redo: D+

Raven vs. Kane vs. Big Show

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: C+

2019 Redo: C+

Eddie Guerrero vs. Test

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

2019 Redo: C-

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: A-

2019 Redo: B+

Chyna vs. Ivory

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

2019 Redo: N/A

Vince McMahon vs. Shane McMahon

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: C+

2019 Redo: C+

Edge and Christian vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

2019 Redo: A+

Gimmick Battle Royal

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: A

2019 Redo: A

Undertaker vs. HHH

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A

2015 Redo: A

2019 Redo: A

Steve Austin vs. The Rock

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

2019 Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A++

2015 Redo: A+

2019 Redo: A+

I think I’m done with this one as the ratings are barely changing every time.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/24/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-17-oh-yes/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/26/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xvii-the-greatest-show-of-all-time/

And the 2015 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xvii-2015-redo-see-the-previous-comment/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania XVII
Date: April 1, 2001
Location: Reliant Astrodome, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 67,925
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

Sunday Night Heat: Steve Blackman/Grandmaster Sexay vs. X-Factor

The Astrodome looks amazing with a sea of people and the very cool looking ceiling with daylight still coming in. The ramp is really long as well which makes for some lengthy entrances.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. William Regal

Shane McMahon in his WCW limo arrives.

Tazz/APA vs. Right to Censor

Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Kane vs. Big Show

Jimmy Snuka is at WWF New York (a WWF themed night club/restaurant).

The Rock has just arrived.

European Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Test

Rating: D+. Again this was fine but that tieup in the ropes killed the momentum they had going. Test was little more than a midcard guy at this point but Eddie was getting more and more over every week. Unfortunately he was also getting more and more into substance abuse and would be gone by the end of the year for a long time.

Austin arrives nearly an hour into the show.

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

They hit the mat again and go for the legs but roll into the ropes for another break. The fans are all over Angle and he has to get to the ropes to escape a Crossface twice in a row. Back in and Benoit tries a third straight Crossface so Kurt punches him in the face for the first real advantage.

Video on the WWF going to Fort Hood for a pep rally with the military. There was a parade with a cadence for Undertaker and the wrestlers all got plaques. Angle of course wanted a medal instead. This was cool stuff and something that would be amplified by the Tribute to the Troops show in a few years.

Ivory is defending and Chyna has that fireworks gun again. An early belt shot puts Chyna down and Ivory (described as looking like Lilith Sternin-Crane by JR) hits some very weak forearms to the back. Chyna grabs a kick to the leg and throws Ivory away with ease. Some clotheslines set up a powerbomb but Chyna picks Ivory (further described as a yapping female dog by JR) up at two. Instead a gorilla press drop completes the squash and Chyna is champion at 2:39. This is the most logical way to go with this match as there was no way anyone was going to buy Ivory putting up a fight against Chyna here.

We recap Vince vs. Shane. Vince went on a power trip and Shane came back to take him out for cheating on Linda. This led to a street fight at Wrestlemania but Shane upped the ante by buying WCW out from under Vince six days before this show. This is a match with a very deep backstory and a bunch of stories are going to be intertwined.

Vince McMahon vs. Shane McMahon

Yesterday at Axxess, the Hardys said the feud with the Dudleyz and Edge and Christian ends with TLC II.

Tag Team Titles: Edge and Christian vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

Axxess video.

The new attendance record is 67,925, meaning we get some more awesome wide shots of the crowd.

Gimmick Battle Royal

Luke, Butch, Duke Droese, Iron Sheik, Greg Valentine, The Goon, Doink the Clown, Kamala, Kim Chee, Repo Man, Jim Cornette, Nikolai Volkoff, Michael Hayes, One Man Gang, Gobbledy Gooker, Hillbilly Jim, Brother Love, Sgt. Slaughter

Slaughter gives Sheik the Cobra Clutch one last time.

HHH vs. Undertaker

HHH finds a chair and destroys Undertaker but he takes too long with a big swing, allowing Undertaker to grab him by the throat for a terrifying chokeslam off the tower. The visual is kind of ruined as we see HHH laying on a big pad but it looked great until then. Undertaker makes up for it by dropping an elbow off the tower and beats up the EMTs who dare try to help HHH.

The Last Ride (an elevated powerbomb) is loaded up but HHH grabs the sledgehammer and blasts Undertaker in the head for a VERY close two. That was one heck of a near fall. Undertaker is busted open so HHH hammers away in the corner, only to have Undertaker come out with the Last Ride for the pin at 18:17.

Rating: A. Another great brawl here with both guys beating the tar out of each other for nearly twenty minutes. The referee being out cold that long was a stretch (and no medical assistance was a bit ridiculous) but it let the match make more sense. This was when HHH could do no wrong and Undertaker always makes it work at Wrestlemania. Really good stuff here and a forgotten classic.

Of note: JR says Undertaker is 9-0 at Wrestlemania. This is the match that really made the Streak a thing for the first time.

A fan won a contest to get tickets to the show.

Rock and Austin are ready.

WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. The Rock

What was a big surprise was Vince and Austin uniting, which is also a very questionable decision. Austin was still red hot and certainly could have carried the company as the lead star but this took the Austin train off the tracks (outside of Texas of course, where Austin could do no wrong). Vince and Austin coming together signaled the end of an era and a bold move, but it was part of a string of decisions that helped bring the company down from its peak and sent it into a tailspin for a few years.

Ratings Comparison

Chris Jericho vs. William Regal

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B-

Right to Censor vs. Tazz/A.P.A.

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Raven vs. Kane vs. Big Show

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: C+

Eddie Guerrero vs. Test

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: A-

Chyna vs. Ivory

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Vince McMahon vs. Shane McMahon

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: C+

Edge and Christian vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

Gimmick Battle Royal

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: A

Undertaker vs. HHH

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A

2015 Redo: A

Steve Austin vs. The Rock

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A++

2015 Redo: A+

As I said a few years back: Yep it holds up.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/24/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-17-oh-yes/

And the 2013 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/26/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xvii-the-greatest-show-of-all-time/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.