Lockdown 2011
Date: April 17, 2011
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

We’ve finally arrived here at the second biggest show of the year for TNA.  The main event is the world title triple threat with Sting vs. Anderson vs. RVD in something eerily similar to what happened on 10-10-10.  As you probably know, the catch here is that every match is in a cage.  I had a chance to go to this but after the mess that was Victory Road I passed.  Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the main three matches: the title match, Lethal Lockdown and Kurt vs. Jeff.  I really hope the last of those three ends tonight.  There’s a theme of blood in the video which I think we’ll see a lot of tonight.

Chris Sabin vs. Robbie E vs. Jeremy Buck vs. Max Buck vs. Amazing Red vs. Jay Lethal vs. Brian Kendrick vs. Suicide

 

Winner is #1 contender.  Pin/submission until we get down to two and then it’s escape.  This is the Xscape match.  Get it?  The guys have to tag in and out here which is actually a big upgrade in this.  I’m not going to try to keep track of who is in there and what is going on, at least not at the beginning.  Jeremy vs. Lethal at the moment with Lethal in control.  Lethal Combination puts Jeremy down but it’s off to Max and Suicide.

GOOD NIGHT Cookie is loud.  Robbie comes in and goes after the arm of Suicide….getting the pin with it.  Well that was unexpected.  The fans boo loudly at that and it’s Jersey vs. Jersey.  Robbie tags out to Sabin and both guys get beaten down.  Shelley is back soon apparently.  Sabin and Lethal have a nice crisp sequence and Red makes a blind tag.  Missile dropkick to Sabin but Red can’t kick Lethal.  Handspring elbow is blocked and Red grabs a sunset bomb out of nowhere to get us down to six.

If you’re confused, Lethal and Suicide are out and the Bucks, Sabin, Red, Robbie and Kendrick are left.  Red is tossed into the air and lands on the top.  The flippies can’t save him though as Cradle Shock (love that move) and a big running clothesline get us down to five.  Max comes in and if it sounds like this is in fast forward it’s more or less because it is.  Kendrick is sitting down bobbing his head back and forth as usual.

Max rolls up Sabin to put him out and it’s off to Kendrick.  He has a robe on and Robbie runs him over.  Both guys go out after Kendrick hits a big old cross body and it’s time for Buck vs. Buck.  Jeremy GOES OFF on Max, ramming him into the cage multiple times and getting a Trouble in Paradise kick.  Multiple right hands follow and Max grabs a CHEAP rollup to put Jeremy out.  I’ve never heard a crowd so quiet for a pin in my life.

Final three are Max Buck, Kendrick and Robbie.  The two heels lawn dart Kendrick into the cage which wakes him up somehow.  He massacres both guys with a ton of kicks and various other offense.  A big kick puts Robbie out and we’re down to Max vs. Kendrick, escape to win.  Kendrick tries to climb out but gets caught, allowing Max to take over for a bit.  Max rams Kendrick in a bunch of times which doesn’t seem to hurt him.  They fight on the top rope with Kendrick shoving him off and going up.  Max shoves the referee into Kendrick to knock him down and climbs out in record time to end it.  Totally wrong winner.

Rating: C. Match went too long here and the crowd is thoroughly killed because of it.  Not a bad match but the problem again is that this takes too long to get through seven different eliminations.  It could have been worse but at the same time they didn’t have a huge spotfest which is what a match like this is supposed to be.  Not bad, but not what it should have been.

The announcers run down the card but gets cut off by Bischoff who is in a t-shirt and jeans which is a rare look for him.  His arms are bulging out of the shirt.  Tenay and Taz bicker like an old married couple over the first bit of Eric’s talking.  He says he’s going to tell us why he’s here in a few minutes.  People come up to him and ask him what matters most about this business and he’s going to tell us.  Great heat on Bischoff here.

Tonight is special because Immortal is going to take care of Fourtune.  The fans chant WE WANT WRESTLING and I agree.  Bischoff sucks up to Hogan (big pop for his name) who is going to get the world title back in his grasp.  Bischoff gets to play a small role in that and that is all that matters to him.  Total waste of about 7 minutes which I’m sure if foreshadowing to something.

Steiner and Crimson are getting ready and Crimson says he’s glad Scott is watching his back.  Steiner rambles incoherently of course.

Ink Inc vs. Scott Steiner/Crimson vs. Orlando Jordan/Eric Young vs. British Invasion

 

Jordan’s outfit of the night is a Tarzan leopard print kind of deal.  I think this is one fall to a finish.  Young vs. Neal to start us off with Young immediately trying to escape which isn’t an option for winning.  Neal with some arm drags followed by Young with an arm drag leading to a standoff.  Moore comes in and takes over with basic heel stuff.

Williams and Jordan get tags at the same time and it’s off to Magnus very quickly.  Jordan does various dirty things to Magnus while beating both Brits up.  Off to Neal again as this is moving too fast, namely due to having too many people in the match again.  The Brits beat down Neal for a bit and a double back elbow gets two.  Double neckbreaker gets no count as Moore makes the save.

The crowd wants Steiner so we keep going with Neal vs. Magnus because the crowd wasn’t quite dead enough.  Neal breaks free and tags Crimson when he was wide open to tag either.  After Crimson beats on Williams for a bit we FINALLY get Steiner and a roar.  Steiner cleans house with his traditional stuff, including belly to bellies all around.  He goes for the pin on Williams but Moore distracts him.

Young tries to jump Steiner and Crimson is fine with his partner fighting off four or five guys.  Shannon makes a blind tag to bring himself in.  He dances around Scott and then chokes away in the corner.  Young takes his pants off to reveal some tiny tiger print tights.  And so much for that as a jumping back elbow takes him down.

Everything breaks down as Moore hits a moonsault press to Williams, Young hits the Gender Bender to Young, Crimson hits Red Alert to Jordan, Magnus hits….something like a Michinoku Driver to Jordan, Steiner hits a t-bone on Magnus, Young hits a missile dropkick to Steiner….and then tries to escape again.  Rolling Chaos to Moore is blocked and the Mooregasm ends Williams and gives Ink Inc the win.  I give up.

Rating: D. Dudes, I beg of you: GIVE THE FANS SOMETHING TO CHEER FOR!  Steiner was over beyond belief and was in the match for all of a minute.  The opening 45 minutes of this show should be a lesson in how to kill a crowd.  Nothing has been interesting and the best match has been ok at best.  Well done TNA: you’ve proven me right so far.

Madison tells Tara to stay in the back for the match tonight.

We recap Madison vs. Mickie.  Basically Madison has been champion forever and beat Mickie earlier in the year.  This is title vs. hair.  Madison and Tara ran Mickie down with a motorcycle so Mickie’s shoulder is hurt.

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Madison Rayne

 

Mickie’s shoulder is taped and Madison can’t get her tiara off.  At least the girls both look great.  Mickie jumps Madison as the bell rings and sends her into the cage three times within the first twenty seconds.  Jumping DDT and we’re done in 30 seconds.

Matt Morgan says he’s going to get back on track tonight and Carbon Footprint Hernandez back to Mexico.  Please let this be the ending to this stupid feud.

We recap Joe vs. Pope with the whole Okato stuff which was idiotic beyond belief.  In short, Pope was caught doing naughty things with his donations as Joe had a Japanese friend of his named Okada (later Okato) film him.  Pope beat up Okato and this is their 3^rd or 4^th match.

D’Angelo Dinero vs. Samoa Joe

 

Joe is in red and blue which is an odd look on him.  The Joe’s Gonna Kill You chant is always cool to hear.  Pope hits a powerslam which is no sold as Joe drills Pope with ease.  Tenay says that it’s all about the strikes with the Samoan SUBMISSION Machine.  Pope gets what looked like a low blow to finally slow down the rampaging Joe.  Joe gets a chop in and Pope tries to run.  The key word there is try as they wind up on top of the cage and a headbutt sends Pope’s balls into the top rope.

That hole in the cage they use for the camera is always awesome.  As Joe hits some face washes the camera goes wide again for no apparent reason.  Joe comes with a running kick but Pope pulls the referee in the way to avoid it.  Pope fights up and lands some crossface shots to take over.  We hit the chinlock with Joe in some trouble.  Joe fights up and tries a sleeper, only to get caught in an STO for two.

ENOUGH WITH THE WIDE SHOT ALREADY!  Snap powerslam by Joe and both guys are down so we go wide again.  This is getting annoying.  They slug it out with Joe winning by slapping harder.  Big Boot by the big fat tub of goo sets up a backsplash for two.  Leg lariat off the top gets two.  Muscle Buster hits but Pope gets his foot on the ropes.

Pope goes up and gets his tights pulled down in the process.  He finally pulls them up and knocks Joe to the mat.  Top rope elbow gets one and a Codebreaker gets two.  DDE is caught because it’s an awful finisher and Joe sends him into the cage.  Muscle Buster sets up the Clutch and it’s over.  Well that was abrupt.

Rating: C+. Best match of the night so far and it was just ok at best.  Now please, LET THIS BE OVER.  The feud has been a waste of the last four months for both guys and the matches haven’t been anything special.  This wasn’t anything great overall but it wasn’t too bad.  The right guy won at least so it has that going for it.

Christy tries to talk to Mexican America and they do the usual thing of talking half in English and half in Spanish.  Just get this over with.

We recap the Morgan vs. Hernandez feud.  In short, Morgan is awesome and Hernandez is being a jerk and they used to be partners.  That’s about all there is to it.

Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan

 

Battle of the giants here even though one of the giants is 6’2.  I’m not sure how well that plays but they both look big so it works out fine.  Anarquia reaches through the cage to pull Morgan’s leg and give Hernandez the advantage.  Hernandez hammers away and we hit the nerve hold.  Dude get your racial stereotypes straight.  That’s a Samoan move.

Basically they’re having a regular match in a cage which is part of the problem with this show every year.  Running shoulder in the corner by Hernandez and he poses a lot again.  Either Morgan is legit hurt or Hernandez is really stupid as he’s walked around for about 30 seconds now.  Morgan pops up with a discus lariat to put both guys down for a bit.

Here’s Morgan’s comeback which is just ok.  Backdrop suplex gets two.  Hernandez ends that with something like a headbutt to the ribs for two.  Morgan avoids a charge to send Hernandez into the cage.  The girls climb up on the cage as does Anarquia.  Down goes the dude and Hernandez tries to come off the top.  Morgan catches him with a really bad looking Carbon Footpring to end this.

Rating: D. Boring match here again as nothing worked in it again.  Morgan never got anything going for the most part and the ending was weak looking.  Again though the right guy won and hopefully that ends the feud.  Boring match again as one more time I’m glad I didn’t go to this show.

The girls complain about TNA and America cheating them again.  They say they should be Knockout Champion and that they’re better than everyone.  After they complain a lot here’s Velvet to beat them both up.  She throws them out and that’s about it.

Karen says Jeff Jarrett is awesome and she has nothing to be worried about.

We recap Kurt vs. Jarrett.  Basically it’s because of Karen who blames Kurt for all kinds of problems and legitimately married Kurt’s boss.  This feud has gone on FOREVER (some of you may be noticing a pattern here) and hopefully it ends here.  This is one of those instances where they’re trying to make real life into an angle and while it’s interesting, that doesn’t mean it should be done.  There was a wedding ceremony that Kurt busted up with an ax which was awesome.

Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Jarrett

 

First fall is submission only, second is pin only, third is escape the cage.  Should be awesome.  Karen is ejected before the match starts which is a nice plus.  Angle gets a headlock to start us off which is broken up quickly.  There are only three matches left and we have almost 90 minutes left so this is going to get a lot of time.  Snap suplex puts Jeff down as Kurt hammers away.

Leg sweep takes Kurt down and it’s a Figure Four less than two minutes in.  Not a very good one but a figure four nonetheless.  The referee, ever the genius, counts Kurt’s shoulders in a submission match.  Kurt turns it over and hooks a t-bone suplex into the ankle lock.  That doesn’t last long as Jarrett grabs a sleeper.  Jeff sends Kurt into the corner shoulder first and adds an enziguri to the shoulder (which doesn’t work as enziguri means head kick but you get the idea).  Cross armbreaker goes on and Kurt is able to roll out of it and lock on the ankle lock with the grapevine to get the early submission.

Jeff sends him into the cage and hits the Stroke for two.  I thought that would have been a fall actually.  Jeff has a top rope cross body rolled through for two.  Double clothesline puts both guys down.  They slug it out and it’s boo/yay time.  Belly to belly by Kurt gets two.  Rolling Germans hear my cry!  The third is blocked by a low blow though which Jeff distracts the referee for.  If it’s pin only, why would he have to distract the referee?

Another Stroke is countered into a shot into the cage and an Angle Slam for of course just two.  Jeff goes up and is caught in a belly to belly off the top for a long two.  The crowd is FINALLY getting into this.  They’ve been dead the entire time here which is a shame as this has been a fairly good match so far.  Kurt wakes up and busts out a Diamond Cutter of all things.  That has to be a shot at Randy Orton.  And Jeff rolls Kurt up with tights to tie it up.  No bell or anything and the announcement is delayed, so no one really got that it was a fall.

Third is escape only and Jeff tries to unlock the door.  There’s a key in there if you’re wondering.  Jeff sends Kurt into the cage multiple times and goes for the key again.  Ok the door is unlocked now.  Slowest Rolling Germans ever has Jeff reeling though.  There were five in that set and thankfully the crowd responds to it a bit.  Just like last year, Kurt is ready to go and Jeff couldn’t stop him but he comes back in.  He gets to the bottom step twice and come back in.

Kurt locks the door and puts the key down his singlet.  Jeff is panicking so Kurt beats on him a bit more.  Jeff is the first person to bleed tonight and it’s flowing down his face.  They head to the top rope and Kurt hammers him down.  Angle climbs up but Jeff catches him with a powerbomb off the top of the cage which is botched and Kurt lands on the top of his head, probably killing him.  And of course he pops up to catch Jarrett leaving and hits an Angle Slam off the top.  Kurt tries to leave but lost the key somewhere.  Not a good sign when there’s so much room in your tights that you can’t find a big metal object buddy.

Gunner comes out with a chair to keep Kurt from leaving so Kurt pulls a Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga spot and throws out the moonsault to Jeff.  I think his head hit Jarrett so it’s better than nothing.  Steiner runs out to chase off Gunner as both guys are down.  Kurt finds the key and unlocks the door but Karen bounces down and sprays something in Kurt’s eyes.

The blind Angle drills the referee and Karen hides by the door.  Jeff tries to escape but gets caught in the ankle lock.  Karen slips him a guitar from somewhere and pops Kurt with it.  Kurt gets up AGAIN and puts the ankle lock on Jeff one more time but Karen slams the door on Angle’s head to let Jeff fall out to end this finally.  You have got to be kidding me.  Are they trying to have a mass murder in Cincinnati tonight?

Rating: B. Le sigh.  Blast it all as they managed to screw up ANOTHER finish.  The match wasn’t great but it was definitely the best of the night.  The crowd hurt this a lot and the ending wasn’t all that great.  It’s Angle vs. Jarrett.  HOW CAN YOU OVERBOOK KURT ANGLE VS. JEFF JARRETT????????  Not a great match as some people will say but good.  The problem is the first two falls were weak and it hurt this a lot.

We recap the world title match.  Basically Sting came back to win the title and screw over Hogan in the process.  RVD was stripped of the title last year due to being injured by Abyss.  Anderson is ticked off by not getting a one on one title rematch.  There’s a possibility that someone is joining Immortal also but it’s really not clear.  Hogan has declared war apparently.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Mr. Anderson

 

Anderson gets in both guys’ faces and is drilled for his efforts.  Stinger Splash in the corner sets up the Scorpion a minute in but RVD breaks it up.  Van Dam fights Sting for a bit until Anderson pulls the rope down to send Rob into the cage.  Sting fights both of them and puts the Scorpion on both guys at the same time.  It’s as out there as it seems.  They both get the ropes as I’m not entirely sure how effective that move would have had but it was a nice idea at least.

Van Dam and Sting collide and everyone is down.  Neckbreaker to Van Dam gets two.  Double Mic Check has everyone down.  It gets two on both guys twice each.  Only in wrestling is 2+2+2+2 not good enough to get to 3.  Van Dam kicks Anderson down and the Five Star gets two.  So we’ve now established that 8 and 5 aren’t worth three.

Double clothesline puts everyone down……and here’s Hogan.  Hogan hands RVD the pipe and RVD takes it.  He isn’t sure what to do with it so he throws it at Hogan.  Anderson picks it up and pops RVD with it, shouting at Hogan that it was for him and not for Hogan.  Sting sneaks up on him and gets the Death Drop on Anderson to retain.  Yep that’s really it.

Rating: C. This was SHORT.  It wasn’t any good either but that’s beside the point.  There were more references to Brooke Hogan than anything else for the most part here.  Not a terrible match but dude, I was expecting something epic here and again it was rather short.  Not much of a match at all as it was mainly finishers and laying down.  Granted I’m not a fan of three ways for the most part but this felt like something that belonged on Impact and not a major PPV.

Hogan says he and Sting will go at it on his time.  Why do I have a feeling that’s Bound For Glory?

Immortal vs. Foutune

 

Lethal Lockdown here.  It’s Wargames for you old school fans.  Fourtune is Roode, Storm, Kaz and Daniels.  Immortal is Bully Ray, Matt Hardy, Abyss and Ric Flair.  Yes, Flair is main eventing this show.  Both teams send in a man for five minutes.  After five minutes Immortal sends in their second man for a two minute advantage (they won a best of three series on Impact to earn that).

After two minutes we add in another member of Fourtune to even the odds.  Two minutes after that we add in another member of Immortal to give them a 3-2 advantage.  You alternate every two minutes until it’s 4-4 and then a roof covered in weapons comes down.  Then it’s first fall wins.

We start off with Kaz and Abyss with the monster taking over early via a chokeslam.  Ray keeps shouting mess up his pretty face.  Matt says mangle him.  All Abyss so far until Kaz reverses a shot into the cage and fires off a right hand.  Top rope rana hits as we somehow have done four minutes so far.  Kaz (that has to be close enough for a copyright suit from Taz) hammers down Abyss and it’s Matt in next.

Side Effect misses and Kaz hammers on Matt for as long as he can.  He’s not paying attention to Abyss though as he hits a springboard rotating legdrop to Matt.  Fade to Black is countered as Abyss is back up with 1:20 to go.  Matt gets the Ice Pick (double underhook choke) to Kaz and Abyss pounds away a bit more on top of it.  Matt, ever the genius, lets go of the hold.  Side Effect puts Kaz down as we wait for the next person to come in.

The fourth man in is Daniels who hammers on Abyss.  BME crushes the masked dude and Matt is taken down by a knee from the top.  Fourtune takes over as the fans chant for Flair.  Ask and ye shall receive as Flair is actually going to be in there for awhile.  That man is absolutely insane.  He has to be.  He and Abyss work over Kaz as Matt beats up Daniels.

Storm has some beer before heading in third for his team.  Beer to the face and it’s Codebreakers and Backstabbers all around.  Flair gets on his knees in front of Storm and begs for mercy before having a beer bottle cracked over his head.  Oh yep Flair is busted.  Flair is in a suit without the shirt by the way.  There go his pants and he gets spanked a bit.  Why is it always HIM that this happens to?

Bully Ray is the freaking clean up hitter for Fourtune and Flair is getting more and more undressed as this goes on.  Roode is waiting in the aisle with 45 seconds to go.  Immortal beats them down until Roode comes in to SILENCE.  This crowd has been dead all night.  Roode shouts FOURTUNE and hits a Blockbuster on Abyss.  The roof hasn’t come down yet but as Fourtune takes over here it comes.

Double suplex to Abyss by Beer Money sets up their shout.  The roof coming down takes long enough to let Jeff Hardy get pinned three times.  Don’t bother showing us what’s going on in the ring right now.  We need to see a roof coming down.  Fourtune has weapons and the beating is on.  We go split screen with one screen having a regular shot of the cage where you can see everything.  Brilliant guys.  Brilliant.

Abyss is knocked out through the door and Matt goes up top.  I really hope he doesn’t break the roof.  Daniels goes up with him as Flair screams a lot.  Daniels loads up Angel’s Wings but Matt blocks hit.  He backdrops Daniels who literally has to grab the roof to hang on with his legs off the cage.  Storm throws the door open to give his feet something to grip on.  Matt hits the Twist of Hate as Flair is literally covered in blood.  MATT FALLS OFF THE CAGE.  I mean he flew off and they didn’t show him afterwards.  That’s scary stuff man.

A bunch of near falls follow and Roode gets a spinebuster on Flair for two.  Daniels dives off the cage onto Abyss and Matt who thankfully were there to catch him.  How is Matt still live?  Roode puts the Figure Four on Flair but Roode makes the save at the last second.  Flair and Ray take their turns with kendo sticks on everyone as Daniels is somehow back in the ring.

Ray says this is for your good friend AJ which brings AJ himself out to the ring for the big beatdown on Ray.  Well there’s your match next month at whatever the next PPV is.  Everyone beats on Flair and Roode throws on an armbar for the surprisingly quick tap out.  Well at least there wasn’t a major turn.

Rating: B. Good match here with some flat out scary shots.  The problem here was that they got caught in the same trap that they always did in this match: the opening WarGames stuff means nothing once we get down to the weapons part.  The spots were enough to make your jaw drop but it wasn’t the best match in the series.  Granted these aren’t usually great.  The ending made sense with AJ making his return, but it was kind of expected.

Overall Rating: D+. Well this was disappointing.  It’s not the worst show I’ve ever seen and is light years ahead of Victory Road (this had an actual main event) but it was nothing compared to what they had built it up to be.  The world title is more or less a throwaway match which is never a god thing.  The main event is ok because it was a major gimmick match but it was nothing great.  The dead crowd didn’t help things either.

The whole thing felt weak to me and that’s certainly not a good thing given what they’ve been doing the past few months.  Disappointing show and a sign of things to come I’m afraid.  Also, this points to more Hogan and Bischoff being the focus of the show, which doesn’t do a thing for newcomers, which is what they need right now.

Results

Max Buck b. Jeremy Buck, Amazing Red, Chris Sabin, Brian Kendrick, Robbie E, Jay Lethal and Suicide – Buck escaped the cage

Ink Inc b. Scott Steiner/Crimson, Orlando Jordan/Eric Young and British Invasion – Mooregasm to Williams

Mickie James b. Madison Rayne – Jumping DDT

Samoa Joe b. D’Angelo Dinero – Koquina Clutch

Matt Morgan b. Hernandez – Carbon Footprint

Jeff Jarrett b. Kurt Angle – Jarrett escaped the cage

Sting b. Mr. Anderson and Rob Van Dam – Scorpion Death Drop to Anderson

Fourtune b. Immortal – Roode made Flair submit to a Fujiwara Armbar

Impact
Date: April 14, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: Hogan’s Law

It’s the final show before Lockdown and most of the card is set.  Tonight is likely going to be just the final push to the show which is standard operating procedure.  We’ll also likely see Hogan and Immortal trying to go after Anderson for him double crossing them last week and also more development in the three way feud for the world title.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the three way feud stuff from last week, including Anderson being the referee for the non-title main event.  The most important thing though is Anderson screwing over Hogan and Immortal and Hogan being furious.

Here’s Immortal in full force to open the show.  Gunner has the TV Title in his teeth.  Hogan says there’s nothing but top level talent here but he wants to get rid of the strength of rotten garbage.  He calls out Anderson and here he comes.  Wow Anderson looks really skinny here for some reason.  Hogan says that he’s tired of Anderson doing things the hard way and he’s going to make an example out of him.

Anderson goes off on Immortal, talking about how they’re all just riding their coattails and no one respects Hogan.  Especially Bischoff who made his entire career off of Hogan.  Wow that’s cutting a bit close.  Anderson sets to say his line and Hogan I think slaps him down and the beating is on.  With Immortal holding him in place, Hogan gets in Anderson’s face and says he’s going to take Anderson out tonight, because he’s “the baddest mamma jamma in this place.”  Anderson spits in Ray’s face and gets drilled by the Bully.

Velvet yells at Winter and wants to know what Winter has done to her.  Winter says that Angelina can make her own decisions.  Velvet says she’s going to call Angelina out herself and if it’s not accepted she’ll come drag Angelina out there herself.

Back with Immortal celebrating but Bischoff is a bit upset.  He just got a call from the Network and they want a best of 3 series between Immortal and Fourtune with the winner getting an advantage in the Lethal Lockdown match on Sunday.  Hogan says Bischoff was supposed to take care of the Network and gets on him about it.

Jesse Neal vs. Douglas Williams vs. Crimson vs. Orlando Jordan

 

Winner gets….a win I guess.  All of the partners are at ringside and Moore gets after Steiner.  Orlando looks to be in a purple dress for lack of a better term.  Neal vs. Williams to start but the British dude tags in Jordan quickly.  Side slam gets two and it’s off to Crimson vs. Neal.  T-Bone suplex gets two but Neal hits his spear on Crimson.  Moore keeps making fun of Steiner and distracting Neal.  Moore finally pushes him and the fight is on.  Steiner goes out to help him so we’re down to a three way.

Crimson goes off to help but here’s Abyss to jump Crimson.  Magnus and Young fight on the floor as Abyss rips up the railing.  Chokeslam onto the guardrail leaves Crimson laying as the match is down to Jordan vs. Williams for all intents and purposes.  Jordan grinds on Williams and gets a clothesline for two.  Young and Magnus come in which goes nowhere as Jordan hits something like Cross Rhodes (called the Gender Bender) to end it at 3:35.

Rating: D. Considering the fact that about seventy five percent of this match was spent on the stuff outside and what you saw in the ring was nothing special at all, what are you supposed to say here?  Weak match to build to a match that really shouldn’t be in a cage.  It’s always a problem with Lockdown but rarely a big one.  Weak match though.

Bully Ray comes in to tell RVD that Hogan is going to make him an offer where the grass is greener and there are fewer seeds.  I don’t get weed jokes but I guess that makes sense.

Matt Hardy vs. Kazarian

 

This is match #1 in the aforementioned best of three series.  Team Immortal is here with Matt.  The series is for the initial advantage in Lethal Lockdown.  Fourtune comes out with Kaz but Hebner sends them away and does the same to Immortal.  Flair freaks out and wants to fight Hebner.  Kaz grabs some rollups to start but only gets two on both.  Kaz charges but is sent to the apron where Matt kicks the rope for a low blow on the way back in.

Neckbreaker gets two as they’re moving rather quickly out there.  I guess Matt is moving due to the lack of dreads out there.  Matt focuses on the neck of Kaz, hitting the slingshot into the middle rope for two.  Later we get Storm vs. Abyss and Roode vs. Flair.  Cravate works on the neck even more but the Twist of Hate is reversed into a backslide for two.  Side Effect doesn’t work and Kaz grabs a pinning combination for another two.

Side Effect gets two and there’s another one.  Matt goes up but misses a moonsault to give Kaz a breather.  Forearm by Kazarian and here’s the comeback.  Hogan is going to force Anderson to run the Immortal gauntlet.  Springboard legdrop gets two for Kaz and Fade to Black (called Kryptonite Crunch by Taz) is reversed.  Missile dropkick gets two as Matt gets his foot on the rope.  They go to the corner and Matt shoves Hebner into the ropes, allowing him to grab Kaz in a double underhook bodyscissors hold for the pass out/submission.  Hard to tell but the hold is called the Ice Pick and it ends this at 5:16.

Rating: B-. I liked this actually.  They were moving out there and we got a lot of near falls and close finishes.  I’m really not sure what the point is in having the X Champion lose clean like that and get in next to no offense other than a quick flurry but he’s a Hardy so I guess he has to be made to look strong.  Pretty decent match here.

Madison is upset about something and Tara says just get it over with.

Back with Madison and Tara in the ring.  Madison says she hasn’t been able to sleep for a week over what happened last week.  She would have done something different: she would have backed up and run her over again.  Tara doesn’t like this that much.  Then Madison would have slapped Tara for questioning here.  Tara is getting too comfortable in her role so Madison reminds her that she works for Madison.  If Tara doesn’t chill, she’s going to be back selling lip gloss.

Tara has something to say but Mickie comes out instead.  She’s in a sling and has a separated shoulder.  TNA needs to really stop having Titantron videos playing during promos as they’re really distracting.  Mickie goes nuts and says she’s going to put Madison through more pain on Sunday than Mickie went through.  Sunday she’s going to take Madison out and get back at her for the last six months.  Very solid and intense promos here.

Jeff Jarrett/D’Angelo Dinero/Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan/Samoa Joe/Kurt Angle

 

Always a good sign to throw feuds into one match.  It’s the best possible way to get a bunch of them built at once and works almost every time.  That wasn’t sarcasm if it sounded like it.  Jarrett and Angle start us off here which is rather surprising.  Jarrett runs and tags in Hernandez maybe 10 seconds in.  We take a break after about 15 seconds.

Back with Morgan throwing the rapid fire elbows to Pope’s head in the corner.  Morgan loads up the Carbon Footprint but Pope takes the leg out and Morgan is in trouble.  Off to Hernandez who hammers away but a discus clothesline sends Morgan down and brings in Kurt.  Kurt is taken down by a simple boot to the ribs and Hernandez goes up top.  You don’t go up top against Kurt and Angle gets the running belly to belly to send Hernandez down.

Off to Joe and Jarrett as Joe cleans house.  Quick powerslam gets two for Joe but Pope breaks up a cross armbreaker.  Muscle Buster to Pope is blocked twice as Jarrett breaks it up.  Jeff throw Joe to the floor but runs into Kurt.  They run off to the back as Hernandez gets a slingshot shoulder block to take Joe down.  Border Toss is reversed into the Clutch but Pope comes off the top with an elbow to break it up.  Morgan back in as the tagging is completely abandoned.  Anarquia throws Hernandez some brass knuckles but Morgan takes him down.  Pope gets them and knocks Joe out cold for the pin at 9:20 total.

Rating: C-. Kind of a mess here but it got to the ending which is the right idea.  Also keeping Angle and Jeff from having any actual contact is always a good thing.  Not a terrible match but nothing all that great.  At least they built up the three matches the right way and it worked well enough.

The heels leave Morgan and Joe laying.

The Jarretts try to leave but Karen says she forgot her purse.  Jeff says screw it but she runs after it anyway, only to run into Kurt.  Jeff leaves without her and Kurt says what a great pick for a husband and leaves her there.

Here are Hogan and Bischoff.  Hulk calls RVD to the ring and lays it on thick, talking about how this is the new RVD who is all aggressive.  Hogan saw what happened last week where RVD pinned the TNA Champion, which was awesome.  Here’s Sting to say that what Hogan said was a lie.  Sting talks about how RVD needs to earn it and he won’t do that in Immortal.  If he beats Sting cleanly cool, but if it’s not clean it’s over Sting’s dead body.  RVD leaves.

Bischoff talks to Sting now and says that Hogan has been working Sting for his entire career and that Checkmate is in Sting’s future.  Sting disagrees, saying Checkmate is his.  He drills Bischoff in the ribs and hits the Death Drop on him.  Hogan is scared to death as he’s in a back braces still.  Sting says it’ll be on his time, not Hogan’s.

Abyss vs. James Storm

Abyss has new music.  Storm goes right at him, spitting beer in the face and we hit the floor early.  Apparently on Sunday the Angle/Jarrett match is now 2/3 falls.  First is pin, second is submission and third is escape only.  That match just got even more awesome.  Back in the ring and Abyss gets a big boot to take him down.

Storm pops up and hammers away, finally taking him down with a forearm.  Top rope cross body gets two and Storm counters a chokeslam into a Codebreaker and a Backstabber for two.  Chokeslam gets two and Abyss is surprised.  Shock Treatment and the Last Call both miss and the Black Hole Slam gets the pin clean at 3:50.  Immortal wins the man advantage.

Rating: C+. Nice little big man vs. little man here and it was a pretty surprising ending as you don’t have the predicted ending of having it go to the third fall.  Power vs. speed is always fun to see and it worked pretty well here.  The ending was a bit odd though as Storm seemed like he kicked out just in time.  Either way, fun little match.

Back with Bischoff talking to the Network and him being all upset about it.  He demands to know who is working with the Network and the Network apparently says in time.  Bischoff demands to know now and gets hung up on.

Here’s Velvet to call out Angelina.  She gets Winter’s music instead and Angelina is here in that trance still.  Velvet shoves/hits her to get her attention but gets speared down.  Angelina gets a chair and DDTs Velvet on it.  No emotion at all from Love here.  Winter beckons Angelina back and they leave together.

We run down the Lockdown card.

Mr. Anderson vs. Immortal

 

This is a gauntlet match.  First up is Murphy who gets a quick clothesline and a slam.  The slam puts Anderson’s leg into the rope and it might be injured.  DDT to the leg and Anderson is in trouble.  And never mind as the Mic Check sends Murphy out quickly.  Rob Terry is in second and Anderson grabs a small package and rollup for two each.  Terry goes after the knee some more and uses basic power.  Mic Check as a reversal ends him also.

In third is the TV Champion in I believe his first match since winning the title.  There’s not a lot to say here as you know Anderson is about to take this one with a quick win also.  Gunner works on the knee in the corner and Anderson is stuck.  Fourth is going to be Bully Ray and he’ll be last.  Anderson gets a boot in the corner and some strikes to set up a spinning neckbreaker for two.  Yep there it is as he sends Gunner into the corner and the Mic Check makes Anderson 3-0.

Finally it’s Bully Ray who hammers away and drops some elbows before hammering on the knee even more.  The fans chant you can’t wrestle at Ray.  There’s a WWE joke in there somewhere.  Anderson gets yelled at a lot and knocked down again.  The back splash from the middle rope of course doesn’t work as Anderson fires in some shots.  He manages to get Ray up in a fireman’s carry despite having a bad knee.  Well of course he can.

They slug it out and Anderson takes over.  Big boot puts him right back down though and Ray throws him to the floor.  Then he drills the referee and takes the fight to the floor.  Ray takes him up the ramp and sets for a powerbomb like he did to AJ a few weeks back.  As he sets for it Hogan comes out dancing a bit and walks to do it instead.  There goes the back brace and he sets for a powerbomb.  Here’s Sting with the bat though for the save.  Abyss pops up and Sting drills him with the bat.  Ray gets the same treatment and Hogan backs off.  We’ll say the match ended when Ray hit the referee so the match ran 9:30.

Rating: D+. Just a standard gauntlet match here with Anderson destroying everyone not named Ray, including the TV Champion, in short order with no real effort at all.  The ending was I guess to further Sting and Hogan which it did for the most part, but the ending made the match worse, which is bad since it wasn’t a terrible match to begin with.

Fourtune talks about how this ends Sunday.  Storm yells about Abyss.

RVD doesn’t say anything.

Anderson says nothing has changed with him and Sting.  He wants more mountains to climb and rants about the title.

Sting says he’ll keep the title on Sunday.

Hogan says Immortal is going to break Sting in half and if he wants a war, he’s got one.

Overall Rating: B. This was a very good go home show as everything was talked about I think.  We got some decent matches in there also and all in all the show worked.  There were some bad parts but at the same time everything worked.  However, this all comes down to Sunday as the PPV has to work right.  It depends on how that show goes to see if this works overall.

Results

Orlando Jordan b. Douglas Williams, Jesse Neal and Crimson – Gender Bender to Williams

Matt Hardy b. Kazarian – Ice Pick

Hernandez/Jeff Jarrett/D’Angelo Dinero b. Kurt Angle/Samoa Joe/Matt Morgan – Dinero pinned Joe after a punch with brass knuckles

Abyss b. James Storm – Black Hole Slam

Mr. Anderson vs. Immortal went to a no contest

Lockdown 2008
Date: April 13, 2008
Location: Tsongas Arena, Lowell, Massachusetts
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

Lockdown very well may be the dumbest idea for a PPV that I’ve ever heard of in my life. Let’s think about this for a minute. For one thing, they’re actually putting matches like Gail Kim and ODB vs. Kong and Saed in there. That’s the biggest problem: so many of these matches flat out do not need to be inside a cage, which ties into the second problem: the matches that actually belong in the cage like Lethal Lockdown and Joe vs. Angle 19 or whatever it was are cheapened because weaker matches are in the cage as well.

As for matches tonight, TNA FINALLY is pulling the trigger on Joe, two years after they should have which means everything is all well and good. Other than that it’s of course Team Christian vs. Team Top Heel of the Month in Lethal Lockdown, their version of War Games. Let’s get to it.

Tenay says that tonight Joe’s life is on the line and that apparently all he knows is wrestling. Yeah TNA doesn’t get overdramatic at all. The video is about how EVIL, yes EVIL I say that steel is. They have a Latin prayer or something. TNA always went WAY too far with these things.

The fans are energetic if nothing else. JB and West are in the stands which is a cool idea I guess. It’s been done a million times but not in awhile.

X-Division Title: Jay Lethal vs. Johnny Devine vs. Shark Boy vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Consequences Creed vs. Curry Man

So the idea here is elimination but once you get down to two you have to get out of the cage. I always liked Curry Man. He was based off of a commercial that Daniels saw in India I believe. If nothing else you certainly remember him don’t you. Good night Devine is bland. He’s the X-Division traitor at the moment and hanging out with Team 3D. It went nowhere.

Creed is a guy that had his character completely changed as he started out like R-Truth was supposed to be and is now a total comedy character. Sonjay is Lethal and Socal Val’s best friend, so of course he would turn on them in like a month to take the title and Val. And this is the era of Stone Cold Shark Boy. This was so stupid I actually got headaches from it. Oh and Lethal is still Macho Man.

So we have a guy that would become Apollo Creed, a guy impersonating Steve Austin, a guy impersonating Macho Man, a guy as an Indian guru, a guy imitating an Indian curry commercial, and a guy named Johnny Devine that is bland . Does anyone else thing that this sounds like a bad parody instead of a match? Also note that it’s taken 11 minutes and 49 seconds for the first bell to ring.

Wait, they have to TAG? Dutt and Devine start as my head is hurting more and more here every second. One thing that TNA got very right with the cage matches: putting a hole in the cage to get camera shots with nothing barring the shot. Now we just get completely ridiculous with the spots. I mean they just don’t even try to make it seem like they aren’t totally planned out.

After Dutt saves Lethal he gets rolled up by Devine for the pin to begin the wedge between the two of them. Creed hits a bad DDT on Shark Boy after Curry Man messes up and he’s out. Something tells me this is supposed to be epic and it’s just failing completely. We go back to nothing but big spots that are completely insane but make for good TV when you don’t think too hard about them.

After a dive off the top of the very tall cage that should have killed him, Curry Man hits a Burning Hammer which is called the Spice Rack to put Creed out. Devine, the idiot that he is, breaks up the pin on Lethal to hit the Devine Intervention, a double underhook piledriver, on Curry Man to get us down to one on one under elimination rules. Devine puts him down but Dutt won’t let him go through the door. What a great face move to do there. And Lethal dives out the door to win. That was just stupid for an ending.

Rating: C-. Well, considering what they were going for with the opener here, this was ok. The spots were RIDICULOUS looking though and I hated the ending. You could see Dutt getting ticked off slowly but surely and the feud was coming soon. It sucked too.

Frank Trigg is in the back and says that both guys are getting ready. Good to know. The problem here is that Trigg might as well be Angle’s twin. He had an ok TV presence but they went a bit stupid here by trying to make this an MMA fight when it was a wrestling match. To be fair though, this was a good idea to have a legit MMA guy come in and give an analysis here.

Roxxi vs. Angelina Love vs. Velvet Sky vs. Salinas vs. Rhaka Khan vs. Traci vs. Christy vs. Jacqueline

Yep 8 knockouts in a single cage is JUST fine. I still think Christy Hemme is a robot. No human can look that good. Has ANYONE, and I mean ANYONE, ever cared about Jackie? EVER? Traci Brooks comes out to Aerosmith’s Rag Doll. I hardly ever notice those things. Somehow the rules are as follows: you fight on the floor and the first two INSIDE the cage have a one on one match. Could this be any stupider?

So wait, the idea of this show is that every match is INSIDE the cage right? I’m not confused on that am I? And after about 2 minutes Love and Roxxi get in with ease. The match is about three minutes long and while it’s ok, that’s just it: it’s ok. It’s not particularly good or bad. It’s just ok. I think this one gets the it’s just there rating, as there’s nothing to talk about here and it’s hardly bad either. Roxxi gets a shot at Kong for this which she wouldn’t win.

Rating: F. It’s failing for just being stupid. At a show about cages, there was a match outside a cage where the point was to get into the cage. In what wrestling universe does that even begin to make sense in?

Lauren makes her TNA debut here and GOOD FREAKING NIGHT she looks amazing. She looks like Jenny McCarthy back when McCarthy looked hot. Joe says he’s not retiring. No really? Apparently Joe will sacrifice his life to be champion. Again, TONE IT DOWN.

Kip James (Billy Gunn) cuts the most cue card based promo that I’ve ever heard about being an animal in a cage.

BG James (Road Dogg) says he’s coming for James.

BG James vs. Kip James

Seriously, how has this match not happened before? This started as Roadie won a tag title shot in Feast or Fired and had his 60+ year old father be his partner of all things. No one bought it and this is what it was setting up. This should have been the finals of the 99 KOTR but that would have made sense so there we go. Billy breaks out a Diamond Cutter of all things to counter the punches of Roadie. Sorry, I refuse to call him Kip James.

Roadie is easier to type than BG James also, even though that really is closer than Jesse James. The problem with this whole PPV shows up again: while this could actually be a decent feud/match, the first match of it simply doesn’t belong in a cage as it’s just a regular match but in a cage. A Fameasser gets two and then a low blow has both guys down.

Naturally the finish sucks: Billy stomps his foot three times before going for a splash which misses and Roadie rolls him up for the pin. They do the reunion for about two seconds and Kip does the heel turn which no one cares about but of course it’s evil and no one saw it coming. After a bad and short feud with Matt Morgan, Billy would be Cute Kip to just end any shred of credibility he had.

Rating: D-. What was the point of this again? Actually that’s not a fair question. This match actually had a point. However, giving them seven minutes in a pointless cage match is just freaking stupid by TNA as they throw away a potentially kind of big match with no time and a terrible finish. Makes sense at least.

Angle says he wanted to come to TNA to fight Joe. And he did: this is match number 5. Angle looks like he’s under 200lbs here. Oh and it’s personal here.

Rock N Rave Infection vs. MCMG vs. Eric Young/Kaz vs. LAX vs. Scott Steiner/Petey Williams vs. Black Reign/Rellik

This is Cuffed in the Cage: all 12 in the match at once and it’s elimination by being cuffed to a rope, last man standing gets his team a shot at the tag titles at a future date. Reign and Rellik (Killer backwards. Clever huh?) beat up Eric backstage before they can come out. The entrances take a few hours or so. Oh and Black Reign (Goldust but a cheap knockoff that no one bought) and Killer are supposed to be monsters. This is idiotic.

How in the WORLD have the Guns not been tag champions yet? There are two sets of tag titles in TNA (don’t even get me started on how freaking stupid that is) and they can’t get one of them. That’s just stupid. Oh LAX already have a title shot, so they’re getting a chance to get a second one here, because it would make NO SENSE to take two people out of here to, oh I don’t know, unclutter the stupid thing a tiny bit???

This was back when Petey was Maple Leaf Muscle, as in a tiny version of Steiner. Is this supposed to be Mexico or something? Steiner just beats the heck out of everyone until LAX takes him down. About four people get him cuffed to eliminate him. What would be smart here? Perhaps having him leave? Nope, that would make too much sense, so he just stays in the cage cuffed to the cage. Someone was actually paid to think of this. That’s just sad.

Young comes down and gets scared by the monsters. You can’t tell a thing that’s going on because THERE ARE ELEVEN PEOPLE IN THERE AT ONCE. Sabin and Shelley get cuffed at the same time. Petey is put out and I just couldn’t care less. The problem here is that you get some decent stuff and spots but there are just so many people in there and the camera jumps around so much that you can’t tell a stupid thing at all. LAX are both out.

Kaz is out as we have Killer and Rock N Rave and Black Reign left. The fans already get the idea as they chant Super Eric. The idea is this: Eric Young puts on a shirt, a mask and a cape and all of a sudden he’s not scared anymore and is a tough fighter. This is making me lose intelligence very rapidly. He does a HUGE dive off the top of the cage to put four guys down. Ok that was pretty cool looking. Hoyt (Vance Archer) is put out.

The other problem becomes that no one can move anywhere as there are people on so many parts of the cage. Oh Jimmy Rave is out too. Young gets the two monsters to win the thing. To further drain my intelligence, here’s how this played out. Eric and Kaz won the tag titles (why they’re not being defended here and why the X Title isn’t being defended here is beyond me.

Tomko and AJ FREAKING STYLES were the tag champions, yet they’re not on the PPV. Upon further review they’re in the Lethal Lockdown match so that makes it a bit better) at the next Impact but because Super Eric wasn’t the guy Kaz entered the match with they didn’t get the titles.

Instead they were held up and a whole PPV, Sacrifice, was dedicated to getting new champions with LAX and 3D fighting in the finals of the Deuces Wild tag tournament where you had random partners fighting established teams but the random partners WON NO MATCHES. THIS WAS PRAISED by TNA fans. They thought this was a good idea.

Rating: F-. This was just so freaking stupid that I can’t believe it exists. Seriously, TWELVE PEOPLE in the cage at once and you handcuff them to eliminate them. I wanted wrestling, not some screwed up sex fantasy that even Vince McMahon would say slow down when offered. Seriously, screw Dave Meltzer. He said that Edge vs. HHH vs. Kozlov was worse than this? Dave is a brilliant guy, but his anti-WWE bias gets out of hands at times.

And we go to Samoa Joe’s family who are dressed in “traditional” clothing. This makes my head hurt. Yes because Samoans apparently have no idea of what the modern world is like and they all wear grass for clothing. If nothing else though, Lauren is entering Hemme territory in hotness.

We recap the Knockouts tag match which again doesn’t belong in a cage match.

Gail Kim/ODB vs. Awesome Kong/Raisha Saeed

Please…make it quick. Don’t get me wrong, three of the four here are very talented, but WHY IS THIS IN A CAGE? You can’t just call it a grudge match and make it interesting. I get the feud here, and it should be a decent match, but the cage is just freaking pointless here. Kong and ODB start us off. Both of the faces want Saeed for some reason that isn’t covered at all because that would be too helpful.

Oh apparently she’s cost both faces the title which Kong holds. I found that online, not from here of course. She’s more commonly known as Cheerleader Melissa, who is amazingly talented and very good looking as well. Kong rams Kim’s head into the cage to turn the tide. Kong hasn’t actually been in the match yet by the way. Dang it how do I time these things so well?

She beats the living tar out of Kim who is half dead already. And Kong is already out again. ODB comes in to clean house as she was being pushed very hard around this time. Naturally nothing ever came of it as they had Kong beat her anyway. Everyone is in now and the referee says nothing, meaning they never needed to tag at all. Gail gets a SWEET hurricanrana from the top of the cage. Kong accidentally knocks the heck out of Saeed and a splash from ODB ends it.

Rating: D+. The match was indeed fine, but there was no point to having this on PPV. It’s ok, but it’s just ok, and that’s the problem here. Why should I pay money to see this? Nothing was accomplished as Roxxi had the title shot next and Kong wasn’t even involved in the pin. The wrestling is fine and even good at times, but why is this on PPV is what I want to know.

Karen Angle is here and it’s no shock now that Jarrett slept with her. She supports Kurt.

We take a SPECIAL look at Booker vs. Robert Roode. Why is it special? We’re never told but we know it’s SPECIAL. Roode makes a great point: he keeps moving up the charts and someone from WWE kept showing up and instantly being handed a push. He’s absolutely right. The feud is over Roode accidentally hitting Sharmell, and no one would want that of course.

The announce guy calls this a towering inferno of rage. Do I even need to make fun of this? Naturally it’s a mixed tag instead of one on one, because Booker was so nervous about his wife being hurt that he has her in a match here. Oh and it was a punch heard around the world. It wasn’t even heard around Wrestlezone.

Peyton Banks/Robert Roode vs. Booker T/Sharmell

They don’t even try to hide the theme music being a rip off here. Ok so the match is now over and I have the same complaints I had for the previous match: why is this in a cage and why is this on PPV? Literally, the girls are in there for 30 seconds total as it’s all Booker vs. Roode and then Sharmell is tagged in and rolls up Banks for the pin.

It’s just Booker vs. Roode again in a feud that went on for like 6 months and no one really cared about it. I mean the match is ok, but again that’s just it: it’s just ok. Why should I want to pay my money to watch this show? I can’t think of a reason to do so. Roode leaves Banks in the ring and goes back on his own.

Rating: D. This was the same thing as the previous match but the previous one had better wrestling in it. This is the big problem that the company has with this show and I’ve said it a dozen times now I think: not every match needs to be in a cage. It’s complete overkill and makes no sense at all, and that’s what’s going on here. If this was a regular match, it’s probably a C or so.

We go to the gorgeous Lauren who is with Marcus Davis who trained Joe for the fight. Again, I get the idea, but this is wrestling, not MMA.

We look at Lethal Lockdown. The rules are just like WarGames but with one ring and after the last person comes in the roof comes down and there are weapons attached, and only then can you win the match. It’s kind of a nice twist but this needs to be 3 on 3 and not 5 on 5 as one ring is just too much. Oh and you can win by pin. That’s fine.

Team Cage vs. Team Tomko

Christian, Nash, Sting, Rhino, Matt Morgan
Tomko, Bubba, D-Von, AJ Styles, James Storm

Remember that AJ is a comedy heel here so the talent is a bit one sided. Christian and AJ start as the smarks explode. Tomko teases being number one for his team but he sends AJ in instead. Now remember they’re going for five minutes and then after the coin toss whoever wins will have a two minute advantage and after that two minutes the losing team makes it 2-2.

That continues until all ten are in. Ten men are WAY too many but I love me some WarGames so this is fun. The heel team of course wins to continue the tradition. AJ is freaking amazing. He might be better at this point than he is now if you can believe that. AJ is dominating here and we have another heel coming. What is our future ECW Champion going to do???

Christian takes over for a bit but we get back to even as Brother Ray comes out. One of the beauties of this match is that you have seventeen minutes at least of wrestling before you get to the finale of the match. It’s a nice little break from those never ending matches that get rather boring.

Ray wears a Yankees jersey and remember we’re just outside of Boston (those teams hate each other for you non baseball fans). And Ray uses a Boston Crab. That’s just amusing. Rhyno ties us up. Didn’t they hate each other for like ever? The clock is ten kinds of messed up now so it’s anyone’s guess how close they get to the right time. James Storm comes out maybe a minute and twenty seconds later. He’s got Jackie with him. Yeah I don’t care either.

He and Roode would hook up soon. For no explainable reason AJ climbs the cage and he and Christian fight on the top but Christian climbs down on the outside and gets knocked to the floor. Nash ties it up but Christian is still on the floor. He launches an AWESOME high cross body to Bubba and Storm. That was sweet looking. D-Von comes in after maybe a minute.

The clock is completely insane, but I can’t criticize it as the Royal Rumble is never anywhere close. I never remember a team that turns face or heel faster than 3D. I like the booking here as they’re letting the heels dominate when they’re way behind in talent but the booking is realistic. Matt Morgan comes in next and he’s as green as possible. He had been Cornette’s bodyguard forever but never got in the ring until here. We know it’s Tomko and Sting left so that’s no mystery.

There’s a lot of laying around here but you have to do that in a sense here as there are just too many people in there. AJ and Matt hook up for awhile which is a PPV main event someday if they quit messing around with Morgan. Oh that’s right: we need to have Hogan’s boys in the main event. Christian and Tomko go at it as the two captains which is always interesting.

D-Von is bleeding pretty well. The fans want Sting. Everyone stops to meet Sting but he pulls a 96 WarGames and beats them all up by himself. In a cool spot, Sting throws AJ up like for a back body drop but just kicks him in the balls instead. The roof with the weapons is lowered. Everybody grabs one as they have them on the roof too. Yeah they’re not even bothering trying to hide that they’re going up there.

Oh ok there’s a trap door so it’s more obvious. I kind of like that. Storm and Christian go up there which unclutters the ring a bit as it badly needs. There’s a bit hole in the roof which is kind of a cool visual. Nash and Morgan do a double chokeslam on 3D. AJ grabs a kendo stick and just massacres people with it. We have a table on the roof and AJ heads up there too so there are three up there and seven in the ring. AJ sets up a ladder ON TOP OF THE CAGE. Once he climbs it, he might be higher up than on top of the HIAC. I’m pretty sure he is.

As someone afraid of heights, that’s scary to me. Christian climbs up too and Storm shoves the ladder over. Nothing at all is happening in the cage mind you. They couldn’t have gone any further without a potential serious injury. And then Rhyno gores Storm for the pin. What the heck was that???? It’s like they ran out of time all of a sudden and said go home NOW.

Rating: B-. That’s mainly for the bad ending. There was no big dramatic moment or anything and they just had the Gore for the pin. I’m not wild on that at all. The ten people are just WAY too many for one ring. This should have been 3-3 or so and nothing more. Actually 4-4 could work. There were also far too many dead spots too.

This is definitely a good idea but it needs a lot of tweaking with the main thing being an adjustment to the amount of people. I’m probably shortchanging this a bit, but there were too many people and too much laying around doing nothing because of the confined space. The two ring, 8 man matches were always, well at least almost always, awesome because they found that balance. If TNA can do that then these matches go WAY up in value.

We recap the Angle/Joe feud. Let me make this clear: counting the intros, this takes over 12 minutes. That’s not counting the JB intros where he says who each guy is. Counting that we hit 15 minutes. It is 18 minutes from the end of Lethal Lockdown to the start of this match. That’s just ridiculous.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe

Now the first thing you notice is that this is more or less designed as a half MMA fight and half wrestling match. Now I get the idea here as they want to spread out the audience, but this isn’t something I can get into. I’m not saying it’s a bad idea, but it’s just not the greatest idea in the world to me. It’s new though so I have to give them credit for not just doing the same match.

They use a lot of MMA techniques and it’s actually working pretty well. They have Frank Trigg on commentary which is a good idea as he offers a perspective that we wouldn’t usually get, much like Tenay used to do with the cruiserweights in WCW. This is about seventeen minutes of primarily submission based stuff and while it’s not my style, it’s certainly great stuff.

You can tell there’s been a lot of training done for both guys to incorporate a lot of new submissions. In a CREEPY moment, Joe gets a crossface on Angle and the fans chant Joe’s gonna kill you. I don’t think it was intentional or anything, but that’s rather chilling. After a ton of submission attempts, and I mean at least 12 apiece, Joe hits the Muscle Buster to get the pin. Massive posing and celebrating ends the show.

Rating: A-. That might be a bit high but after what I went through with the idiocy earlier, this was gold for me. It’s a completely different style but it worked exactly like they wanted it to so I can’t complain at all. This was named match of the year in TNA and I can buy that.

I’m glad this was a one off thing though as it’s not something I’d want to become the norm. Either way, this was a great way to put the belt on Joe, but because it came two freaking years too late, no one cared and he was a boring champion.

Overall Rating: D. Well, the two main events were really good, but that’s all this show has going for it. The all cage thing is just not a good idea at all. The last two matches belong in a cage and by having another I believe 6 matches before that, it just makes the last two seem weak.

If you take away the cage earlier for everything other than maybe the X match, then this is easily a C+ or so. The matches are ok, but the Women’s match and the tag match were just so freaking STUPID. What was the point of those gimmicks? Anyway, this was a bad idea but if tweaked could turn into a much better one. Show sucked for the most part though. Get Joe/Angle and the Lethal Lockdown if you’re very bored, but you’ll be better off with an old WarGames match. Other than that, not worth it.

Lockdown 2005
Date: April 24, 2005
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 775
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

This is the first in the series and has my favorite TNA match ever on it. This is a show I’ve tried to find for a long time so this is a good treat. This was a show that was really weird when you first heard about it as every match is in the cage which was unthinkable when it was first announced. There are 8 matches here and one gets less than 14 minutes so this is a wrestling packed show. The company is still in its infancy here so the angles and a lot of the guys are going to be odd. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a creepy version of Ring Around the Rosey which is supposed to be about the cage. Wouldn’t that be Rosey Around the Ring in this case? The narrator talks about what the cage would say if it could talk. Apparently it’s more or less a haunted house.

West and Tenay tell us about all the different kind of matches we’re having. Yes, we’re actually having a TAG TEAM match in a cage. SHOCKING!

We see Nash sitting in the back and having a staff infection which means he’s out tonight.

Apollo/Sonny Siaki vs. Chris Candido/Lance Hoyt

Hoyt is Vance Archer. Tenay tries to tell us that all of these matches are going to be main event matches because they’re all in the cage. This isn’t a main event match anywhere in the country as Gorilla would not say I guess you would say. Apollo and Siaki are teaming together because they had a match together and are friends now or something. Sounds like a bromance to me.

Candido has been pretending to be hurt lately so no one can trust him. Or they can’t trust him because he’s a heel. That’s always a possibility. Apollo and Hoyt chop it out as the two big guys in this. Apollo gets a jumping back elbow to take him down. The fans chant shut the door for some reason. Candido is helped out of the cage. He had a broken leg and would be dead in four days due to a blood clot. He was 33.

So now it’s a handicap match with Hoyt hitting a moonsault for two. That was rather impressive actually. Siaki had a good look. I’m not sure why he never really did anything outside of this company. Siaki does the running Angle suplex on Hoyt as he’s in big trouble with the faces just picking him apart now. He misses a clothesline and kind of falls down. A TKO from Apollo sets up a top rope splash from Siaki for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was weak but at the same time it’s very hard to grade it fairly given the change they had to make maybe two minutes in. It really was a shame about Candido as he did nothing wrong and still died. I know often times we use the word tragedy loosely but this actually was as it was a pure accident. Anyway, the match isn’t very good but given what they had to work with it was ok.

Post match the Naturals, Candido’s team, comes out to yell at Hoyt who hurts them for a bit before the numbers catch up with him. I’d assume this is to fill in time due to the match likely having to be cut short. This goes on for a very long time.

Dusty is with Traci and Trinity which is a thing that was always disturbing. Apparently AMW and Team Canada got into a fight before the show started and nothing of note happens from that. We get the drawing for the first guys from both (three man) teams in Lethal Lockdown and it’s Jarrett vs. Waltman to start us off.

Dustin Rhodes talks about his match with Bobby (Robert) Roode which is about Texas vs. Canada. Yes, we get it, Texas has a lot of wrestlers and they’re all cowboys. Why are they fighting other than that? Who cares, as it’s a 2/3 Falls Prince of Darkness Death Match. The part that should shock no one is that the Prince of Darkness aspect means nothing at all. Roode was the henchman of Team Canada actually which is surprising.

Bobby Roode vs. Dustin Rhodes

That rock version of O Canada is kind of awesome. Oh ok apparently if we go to the third fall it’s a blindfold match. Why? Who care apparently as we have a gimmick! Roode gets a very fast pin. Or at least we think he did as there’s no signal from the referee, no bell, no announcement or anything like that. Thanks for letting us know that guys.

Dustin wants to do Shattered Dreams but is threatened with a DQ. He does it anyway and apparently that’s just fine. Perhaps it’s because this is a cage match? Top rope suplex to Roode which is saying a lot due to how tall Dustin is. Big powerslam gets two as it’s all Dustin at this point. Dustin gets another low blow but the bulldog is blocked and here comes Roode.

Roode does the multiple covers for two and we hit the chinlock. He shifts it into the rear naked choke. How is this really different than what Joe does where it’s lethal? It’s so weird hearing Roode being talked about as the muscle of the group. Ah apparently it’s not a choke but a camel clutch style grip. That explains a few things. Dustin counters with an electric chair and both guys are down.

Dustin sends him into the door and it pops open and knocks out the cameraman. That’s rather awesome. Set for the Final Curtain or whatever it’s called but Dustin stands around for about 45 seconds which is amazingly enough enough time for Roode to counter into his clothesline to the back of Dustin’s head which gets two because his foot is on the rope. Yes you can get out of a pin in a cage match with your foot on the rope. I give up.

Roode goes for a German off the top but he’s no Kurt Angle so Dustin rams his head into the cage and hits the bulldog to tie it up. I hate that move. And now we put on hoods for absolutely no reason at all. Is there ANY explanation for this being added in? Yep this is stupid as they stumble around trying to find each other and they’ve got nothing.

They finally back into each other so Dustin grabs a headlock but Roode shoves him off. Then they take out the referee as I look for a noose to attach to my neck. D’Amore throws in a chair and then climbs in himself. Roode doesn’t get who is there so he cracks his coach with a chair. Dustin gets the chair and cracks Roode with it for the pin. Sweet goodness this was stupid.

Rating: D-. This was stupid before the hoods and then ridiculous once they went on. What in the heck was the point to that? Also we get to hear Dustin’s stupid banjo/country song twice now. Someone explain the point to this gimmick to me? Can anyone do that? I can’t find any explanation for it. Ah Russo was in charge at this point. There’s your answer.

Christopher Daniels runs down XXX and Skipper, his partner in that team. Skipper comes up to yell at him and says the time is right. That match is later of course.

Xscape Match: Matt Bentley vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Chris Sabin vs. Shocker

I miss the HAIL SABIN thing. The idea here is you have to get rid of two guys by traditional means and then get out of the cage once it’s one on one. This isn’t for anything apparently. Shocker is a luchador. Dang they have to tag in this. Does anyone think these things through? Sabin and Dutt give us a gymnastic routine to start which gets a well rounded golf clap.

Dutt was insane to watch. He wasn’t particularly good but he was fun to watch. Tenay tries to tell us that this is the tallest cage in wrestling. They’ve never been to an OVW cage match. That this is taller than the Cell. Dutt and Shocker double team Bentley. He never was very good but he’s Shawn Michaels cousin so there you go. Dutt is bleeding from the elbow. Bentley beats him up for a bit. Thankfully the Bentley Bounce isn’t part of this match.

More gymnastics from Dutt who brings in Sabin again. This is a spotfest if I’ve ever seen one. There’s no flow or anything to it as they just move from spot to spot. Not saying it’s bad mind you, but it’s just kind of all over the place. West: the wall of the steel cage is like a wall of steel. Somehow he’s still better than Tazz. Shocker comes back in and gets a cradle on Bentley for two.

Bentley gets a reverse Tarantula on Shocker, as in his legs are wrapped around Shocker’s head and he’s grabbing Shocker’s feet while their backs are facing each other. Dutt comes in to put a chinlock on Bentley so Sabin comes in to put a Boston Crab on Dutt. Cool looking spot but it’s not like it gets us anywhere as they break it in a few seconds.

Sabin hits a BIG running powerbomb on Dutt but Shocker saves for no apparent reason. Bentley sends Dutt into the cage but Shocker cleans house and hits a corkscrew elbow to get rid of Dutt. Shocker vs. Bentley now with Shocker going up but getting hit by a Northern Lights Suplex off the top for two.

Trinity, the chick there with Bentley, comes up to help him so Traci comes out to stop her. And so much for that as she gets shoved off and hurts her ankle. Trinity goes to the top of the cage and hits a BIG moonsault off the top to take out all three guys. Traci comes in again and AGAIN gets shoved out. Sabin gets Cradle Shock on Bentley to get us down to one on one.

Ok so now it’s an escape match. They both get crotched on the top rope and we’re both down. And then they both climb at the same time and fight on top of the cage before both drop down but Shocker hits first. I’d love someone to just jump off the top and run through the door instead of climbing down like that one time. Kind of a weak ending.

Rating: C+. Pretty fun match here but the ending and the tagging hurt it a good deal. That moonsault from Trinity was pretty freaking awesome though and I’m surprised it’s not on more highlight reels. It’s a shame this wasn’t like, for something other than bragging rights I guess. Not bad and I’ve never gotten why Shocker just kind of left as he was pretty good.

We’re told Candido’s leg was broken and we see clips of it. Naturally no one knew what would come of this so it’s not like they were exploiting it.

We recap Hardy vs. Raven which the idea was Raven wanted to hook up with Hardy or something and Hardy said no because he wrestled for his fans (who never got him anything but three WWE Titles and his job in TNA once he left WWE). Raven didn’t like him saying no so he hit him with a garbage can. That sounds like a recipe for a tables match if I’ve ever heard one.

Jeff Hardy vs. Raven

Tables match here because it needed a gimmick clearly. Hardy doesn’t get that apparently and comes out with chairs. TNA supplied the tables I guess since there’s at least one in there when we start. Hardy has been reborn apparently. Wow that happens to him a lot. I love that hole in the cage that TNA uses as it’s a really unique look for cage matches. Raven in control here with pretty basic stuff.

Hardy has some red/pink paint on his skin so it looks like he’s covered in blood. Raven gets the DDT and puts Hardy against a table in the corner. He misses his shoulder into it though so Jeff hasn’t won yet. At least they covered that earlier on. This is getting rather boring rather quickly. Raven is bleeding and it’s pretty bad after a bit. Raven goes up for what looks like the Stroke off the top but they just pretty much jump off the top with no contact at all.

Some New York Mets are here. Twist of Fate by Hardy and now it’s table time again. He’s a rock and roll star now too apparently. Raven is put on the table and Jeff goes all the way up to the top of the cage and takes forever to get there, meaning Raven of course gets out of the way for the big bump. Trinity’s was better. We waste a bit of time with Raven taking control and then Jeff fighting back.

Hardy tries to open Raven up a bit more and then hits him in the back. And there’s a low blow to take care of that offensive streak. Something TNA didn’t get back in the day: long matches don’t mean good matches. Jeff does Raven’s drop toehold to Raven which he isn’t the best at selling. He climbs out for no apparent reason and Raven shoves the door open to crotch Jeff on it.

Apparently when Jeff gets bored he climbs out of cages. It makes as much sense as anything else I suppose. Jeff jumps off as apparently drugs make you be able to no sell low blows and jumps into a boot. There are pieces of at least four tables in there. Think that’s enough? Actually make that six plus two chairs. Raven sets up two double stacks of tables and then climbs up like an idiot. Jeff knocks him onto them and hits a leg drop off the top to “drive” Raven through them but the lack of room and the high amount of tables made it look like it was in slow motion.

Rating: D. Did ANYONE want to see Raven vs. Jeff in a 15 minute tables match in a cage? Have you ever seen a one fall fifteen minute tables match? Just WAY too long here with Raven being boring for the most part and Jeff just wanting to jump off high things and no sell metal pipes hitting his balls. I fail to see the point here for the most part and this just didn’t do it for me in the slightest. What reason was there for this to be a tables match? Someone explain that to me please. I’d like a reason.

We recap the tag title match which is AMW vs. Team Canada. AMW is the original great tag team in TNA and basically this feud has been going on forever because Team Canada wants the titles.

We recap the Hardy vs. Raven match a bit first because they have to clear the ring.

Tag Titles: America’s Most Wanted vs. Team Canada

This is a strap match and Team Canada is Petey Williams and Eric Young. AMW made this a strap match earlier today so no one got to hear about it. I wonder if that was intentional. Young is just a generic heel here that was only a bit nuts but not quite. More eccentric than anything else. AMW is James Storm and Chris “Braden Walker” Harris. They were awesome and I want one of their trench coats.

AMW are cage veterans after the EPIC cage match they had with XXX which I’ll have to get to soon. Harris and Williams fight on the floor while Young tries to get out but Storm beats the tar out of him up on top. They crotch Young on top and ram his legs into the cage. A-1, the Canadian muscle dude, hits Harris with the belt so he’s stuck on the floor. He gets Storm with it too so the champions are in trouble.

With Harris outside the idiot security guard locks the cage. Does no one pay attention in this company? A-1 keeps beating up Harris on the floor which is fine apparently. Young is a daredevil apparently. He’s still annoying. The Canadians beat up Storm in the ring as we’re just waiting on Harris to make the Superman comeback and get in. Storm is bleeding.

About three fans try to get a let’s go cowboy (Storm’s nickname at the time) chant going and it’s just sad. A-1, back COVERED in acne, sends Harris into the table. Williams and Young get the American flag off the top of the cage and use it to choke Storm before the referee gets it away. Well that was pointless. Storm makes a brief comeback as Harris knocks A-1 into the railing. And so much for that as Young knocks Harris down off the cage and into the railing.

Storm just goes OFF on Young with the strap but walks into a tornado DDT from Williams for two. There’s a you F’D up chant about something but it’s not really clear what. Harris takes A-1 down again before trying to get in for like the 7th time. FINALLY he gets in and takes out Team Canada with a double clothesline that doesn’t hit Young at all but who cares?

This is an actual 2-2 match about ten minutes in. We get it to even or so before the fans chant TURKEY LEGS at something. Williams goes for a Sharpshooter as Young adds an elbow off the top which breaks up the Sharpshooter but only gets two. Young broke up Williams’ Sharpshooter if you missed that as it was a bit odd. Canadian Destroyer is broken up by a Harris spear for two.

Death Sentence (Trash Compactor) misses and A-1 slips the flag/hockey stick in through the camera hole and a shot from that to Harris gets two. When that doesn’t work A-1 slips some powder to Williams but it’s kicked back into his face. He can’t see so he low blows Young and hits the Destroyer on him. A Death Sentence to Williams ends this seconds later.

Rating: B-. Pretty good stuff here with AMW being on defense for the vast majority of the time but eventually winning when they, the champions, were united. Also the whole cheating backfiring thing worked very well too with the evil Canadians trying one time too many to cheat and it catching up with them. AMW was awesome but they had no competition which is what caught up with them eventually.

We recap Skipper vs. Daniels. They lost a match at Turning Point (which the video package gets wrong, saying it was in 2002 when it was 2004) meaning they couldn’t team together again. This led to a fatal fourway at Destination X where Daniels turned on Skipper and pinning him to get the title, setting this up. The voiceover guy is way too upbeat.

X-Division Title: Christopher Daniels vs. Elix Skipper

Let’s see if Daniels can have a match that doesn’t bore me to death. I know he’s like the king of the Indies or whatever but he just bores me to death for the most part other than when he’s fighting Joe or AJ. Feeling out process to start with no one being able to get an advantage. Both finishers are blocked early with a lot of takedowns and nice mat work, especially by Skipper who I’ve always liked a bit.

Can we do something other than a gymnastics competition? There were four attempts at leapfrogs which no one went under so they were just running and jumping. Daniels chops away but walks into a butterfly suplex to give Skipper something of an advantage. Daniels sends him into the cage to reverse that though as we’re almost five minutes in and it’s still little more than feeling out.

This works actually as they were talking about how they knew each other so well before the match so the counters and no one being able to get an extended advantage works. Skipper’s arm is hurt after going into the cage and we have some psychology coming into play. This goes on for a good while as Daniels pounds on it with basic moves for a good while.

An armdrag from the middle rope takes down Skipper again and more arm work follows. By that I mean about five minutes straight at this point. A one arm spinebuster gets Skipper some relief. The announcers are talking about Skipper’s cage walk being listed as the #1 cage match moment in TNA history. Yes apparently there’s a list of cage match moments for a company less than three years old.

Skipper hits a guillotine leg drop off the top to get two. He goes for something that looked like Orton’s backbreaker but the shoulder gives out. Best Moonsault Ever gets two so he goes all the way to the top for I’d assume another one but Skipper gets up to crotch him. He teases the cage walk again but Daniels gets down. Skipper is like screw it and jumps off the top to hit Daniels but takes out the referee too for just a bit. He goes for Sudden Death but his shoulder gives out and Angels Wings (a lifting sitout Pedigree) ends it.

Rating: B. Fun stuff here again with basically a mat based and technical match that happened to be in a cage. This of course begs the question of why was this in a cage. There was no point to having this in there as it would have been more or less the same match without it. Then again why am I looking for logic in a company like this? The match was good though with the psychology playing in throughout the whole match which is the best it’s going to get.

Dusty lets us know the next guy in the Lethal Lockdown match. There are six total so there won’t be a coin toss apparently. In third is….censored, but if you can read lips you can see he says The Outlaw.

We recap Lethal Lockdown which is WarGames light at this point. It’s only three on three here with the main feud being DDP vs. Jarrett who is world champion here. They keep censoring the word Outlaw on this which might be a DVD thing or something. We know who he is already so it’s kind of odd. Maybe a copyright thing. The other guys are Sean Waltman (X-Pac) and Nash (injured remember) with Page and Outlaw (censored) and Monty Brown. Outlaw’s name is censored again and it’s blurred out on the graphic but his face is shown. Very odd indeed.

Lethal Lockdown: Team Page vs. Team Jarrett

You can bring your own weapons and it’s five minutes to start. Waltman vs. Jarrett to start. Waltman is in street clothes and brings a trash can. I guess he brought his home with him and sold his gear for crack. Jarrett is in street clothes too. Please do not call this a bunkhouse match. He has his own trash can full of weapons too. They fight in the aisle to start.

They’re in the crowd now as the cage sits empty. That’s rather unfair to it. I bet it’s lonely. They fight in the crowd and there’s no camera so we can’t see anything. This is already making my head hurt. And now they separate for awhile as the clock for the five minutes continues to count down. On the announce table now with Jarrett getting destroyed. Blast it there’s a bullrope and cowbell. WHAT IS WRESTLING’S OBSESSION WITH THOSE THINGS???

A chair shot misses Jarrett and after three minutes we’re finally in the cage. Basic cage offense follows with Waltman in control. Bronco Buster misses and both guys are down with forty seconds left. Waltman takes him down as Kip James (not called Outlaw here) is in third. He’s on Team Jarrett and they have a two minute advantage now. What is with the street clothes here?

They spend the vast majority of these two minutes walking around with the occasional stomp coming. DDP comes in and pulls the Singapore cane out like Leonardo pulling out a sword, thereby making him awesome. Things pick up a bit but we’re just killing time here. Monty Brown comes in with DDP controlling for the most part. That’s the last heel to come in.

Brown has a bat and of course a shot to the back of Page doesn’t injure him severely. Jarrett breaks the cane over the back of Page which he still gets up from. The cameraman decides a shot of Jarrett’s legs is more important than whatever the other guys are doing. The final guy is BG James (Road Dogg, who is part of a rap stable with Konnan and R-Truth at this point).

BG hits the referee and we get the showdown between the Outlaws (censored) and it goes nowhere. Bronco Buster to Jarrett. Brown Pounces everyone but Page breaks up the pin. This is more or less just a glorified six man hardcore match. Diamond Cutter to Jarrett gets two as he makes sure to shift over so that Kip can break it up. Waltman and Brown do an awful looking sequence so then they do it again so that Waltman can get the pin.

Rating: D+. Just ok at best here with nothing of note going on. Page’s team wins and the feud more or less went nowhere after this. This was more or less absolutely nothing with too few people, nothing special in terms of violence and just dull overall. Waltman won on a victory roll of all things. A violent match won with a victory roll. Let that sink in a bit.

A bit more brawling goes on afterwards and the Outlaws stare at each other a bit.

We recap the main event. Basically Abyss had been a monster jerk and AJ stood up to him. The match is for the #1 contendership and gets Jarrett at Hard Justice. One of the earliest memories I have of TNA is this brawl they had on Impact where Abyss destroyed him.

Abyss vs. AJ Styles

For the few of you that might be wondering, this is my favorite TNA match ever. AJ is YOUNG looking here which is saying a lot as he’s still young today but here he looks like he’s about 19. He’s a two time world champion here though which is never mentioned anymore for no apparent reason. Abyss is listed at 350lbs here again but he’s a LOT slimmer looking here.

He still has the chains here which were a nice touch for him. I have no idea why but they are. AJ dives through the door to take down Abyss before he gets in. Abyss tries to whip him into the railing but AJ baseball slides UNDERNEATH the railing and jumps up onto it and hits a rana to take down Abyss. That was freaking awesome and happened inside of five seconds.

All AJ to start as we’re still on the floor. Abyss had more or less been unstoppable recently since splitting from his stablemate Alex Shelley (let that sink in for a bit) so this is a major showdown and seeing Abyss reeling is odd to see. Abyss fights him back and whips him into the railing again so this time AJ channels his inner Morrison and double jumps up to a platform into the crowd, spins around and jumps over FIVE ROWS of fans to his the forearm on Abyss. This is one of the most awesome performances I’ve ever seen and we’re maybe three minutes into this.

AJ dives at Abyss on the railing ala Sting but instead of crashing into it clears the railing by a good foot and hits the ground in the crowd. Abyss pounds on him a bit but AJ just kicks the tar out of him to escape for a bit. West talks about Kenny Chesney for absolutely no apparent reason.

They open the door of the cage after about six minutes of brawling. The difference between this and the stupid stuff before: this was INCREDIBLY entertaining and the fans were way into it as opposed to Jarrett and Waltman walking around and occasionally hitting each other with something. AJ and Abyss never stopped moving and the fans were into it because of it. The difference here: hard work works better than walking around hitting each other with weapons.

AJ punches Abyss HARD but gets the cage door slammed into his arm and then his face where he snaps down to the floor. It looked like he got hit by a bus or something as fast as he hit the ground. Great selling there. AJ is busted open and Abyss pounds away even more. AJ finally in the cage now as Abyss looks under the ring for the bag of tacks. About eight and a half minutes in they’re in the cage together.

Abyss chokes him with the chain and we play tug of war. AJ simply will not quit and keeps hammering away to no avail though. With the chain on the top turnbuckle, Abyss launches AJ over his head in kind of a forced leapfrog and his head slams into the chain. The fans think this is awesome and for once they’re right. They stop for a bit for the a neck crank and AJ sells the heck out of it too.

AJ charges again but Abyss grabs him in a gorilla press and LAUNCHES him up to just let him crash down. He tries it again but AJ counters into a DDT onto the chain. Two punches and an enziguri takes Abyss down as does a headscissors. AJ hits a moonsault press but Abyss just lets him bounce off which was cool looking. AJ sends him into a chair into the corner that Abyss set up and gets a German suplex for two that looked good.

He goes for the Styles Clash but Abyss is way too big for that. Chokeslam is countered into a rollup for two. AJ gets another running start but walks into the Black Hole Slam for a VERY long two. Dang Abyss looks awesome (what am I saying?) when he really uncorks that thing. Yep there are the tacks. Black Hole Slam into them are countered as is a powerbomb.

AJ gets the Styles Clash (ok more like a falling face first slam but we’ll give it to him) into the tacks for two. Wow I would have bet on that being the ending. You know if I didn’t know the ending already. Abyss is ROCKED here which was unthinkable until this match. AJ goes to the top of the cage and Abyss can’t catch him. His solution: throw the referee at the cage to knock AJ off. That was awesome.

Abyss climbs up as AJ is barely hanging on. He goes up with the chain and might be thinking to hang him as he had on Impact. Yep that’s what he’s going for. AJ is on the outside and Abyss on the inside and yep he’s hanging him. AJ gets the chain off somehow and Abyss grabs the chokeslam. AJ bites his fingers and opens those thing up! AJ jumps off the top of the cage and hits a freaking sunset flip powerbomb onto the tacks from the top of the cage to get the pin as Abyss is DEAD.

Rating: A+. OH YES! AJ was absolutely amazing here and it was definitely Abyss’ best match ever. This was just a total war for twenty minutes with AJ never stopping and taking it to Abyss much like Flair did back at Starrcade 93 to Vader. There was no gimmick here as it was just a big old fight in a cage with weapons brought in for fun. AJ would get the title the next month….and then lose it to Raven the next month because the world was clamoring for more Raven and less AJ. Uh…sure. He wouldn’t get it back for over four years.

Overall Rating: B. If you cut off about an hour of this show (as in three of the first four matches or so) this is an awesome show. The first two matches were pretty bad, the third was decent, Hardy vs. Raven got fifteen minutes which was just ridiculous and then the rest other than maybe Lethal Lockdown was very good. The early days of this company’s PPV era were very hit or miss and this one was a hit for the most part but for the most part this worked. Fun show but VERY dragging so I’d recommend a fast forward button here.a

Lockdown 2010
Date: April 18, 2010
Location: Family Arena, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay

So this is the annual let’s make the cage match like any other match show which is an idiotic concept if there ever has been one. Depending on how the two major matches go, this could be a great show or terrible. I’m not sure which yet but we’ll find out. The main events are Lethal Lockdown with Team Flair vs. Team Hogan despite neither being in the match and Pope vs. AJ which has been pushed down almost. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is based around fearing the cage. Simple but effective.

Doug Williams isn’t here due to the Iceland volcano so he’s been stripped. Sean Waltman might not be here either. Oh great.

Rob Van Dam vs. James Storm

Both guys are in Lethal Lockdown later so I guess this is a warm up match? Remember that everything is in a cage tonight. The arena looks full and great. Can’t beat that. Isn’t the point of a cage match to be, you know, in the cage? RVD beats Storm up on the floor because he can I guess. He’s busted open when we get into the cage. Cage looks great. Everything looks great actually. Definitely the best crowd and best looking show they’ve put on that I can remember.

It’s ALL Van Dam here so I’d put money on him losing somehow. I love the holes in the cage that can be used to see in. It helps with the camera work tremendously. Split legged moonsault connects but no cover. Ok then. Storm spits beer in Van Dam’s face and hits a DDT for two. Superkick is countered into the Frog Splash (it makes sense in context) for the pin. Nice opener.

Rating: B. Pretty solid stuff here and a good choice to open the show. Van Dam is very solid to say the least and this worked fine. I’m liking this show thus far. Remember who is saying that. Although, hopefully it doesn’t get really bad in the second half like Destination X did.

Hogan talks about how Team Hogan has been getting beaten down pretty badly lately. He says you don’t run people over with a car. That’s true. You use a Semi Truck Brother! Hogan says that if his team gets destroyed he might leave TNA. Hmm I wonder if that’s foreshadowing.

We get a bonus Xscape match where the winner is in the triple threat later.

Xscape match: Homicide vs. Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley vs. Brian Kendrick

So the idea here is just to get out of the cage first. Ok then I guess that works. It’s a Lockdown staple so that’s fine. I guess the tag match these four were supposed to have isn’t happening which is the best I think. It turns into a total spot fest of course but did you really expect much else? That’s what the X Division is supposed to be though.

Also this is FAR more logical than the tag match would have been. Also this is more logical than a 6 man match which would have been a total mess. With a match thrown together and being meant to do nothing more than fill in a spot due to a last minute change, the crazy bunch of spots is fine. This is rather short with Homicide winning. Homicide wins after the Gringo Killer. Yeah that’s a great name to use.

Rating: B-. Not bad here and it did exactly what it was supposed to. Williams not being here saved us from a REALLY illogical tag match so I can’t really complain. Also, the MCMG continue to job. Who would have predicted that? Oh wait.

Kevin Nash vs. Eric Young

Young has to win here but he won’t because of the Band. Young is wearing some kind of green tights. Ok then. Apparently Hogan has told Hall that he has to get a partner tonight or he goes it 2-1. Ok then. I say that a lot. Nash is dominating for the most part here but Young is getting some stuff in.

That’s fine with me as they’re going with the traditional formula to get to the Young comeback. No problem there. And Nash just hits the powerbomb to completely kill Young’s credibility. This show is a success even if nothing else happens.

Rating: C. Too short to be good but not long enough to be bad. That sounds like in the middle to me. I’m not sure on how quick this was but I’d go with Hall and Nash reuniting here. And a quick Nash promo says that I’m right. I smell Pac being there anyway.

We recap the Women’s Title insanity to get us here.

Knockout’s Title/Tag Titles: Beautiful People vs. Tara/Angelina Love

Ok so it’s your standard two singles wrestlers vs. tag champions. You know the rules I’m sure. Yep Tara is gorgeous. Velvet and Angelina start us off. Taz is rather annoying on commentary to say the least. Some nice double teaming from the BP there. Make jokes amongst yourselves. Tara pulls an Angle and totally misses a moonsault. Good to see that the accuracy is there still.

Angel is better in the ring than she’s given credit for. Madison takes the Widow’s Peak but Velvet makes the save. Lacey gets in somehow and drills Tara in the head with a belt to give Madison Rayne the Knockout’s Title. So that’s two straight title changes with the champion not getting pinned. Ok then. I do love the BP being the focus of the division. That’s intelligent and not sarcastic actually.

Rating: C-. Not terrible actually. Love is underrated in the ring and Tara is always solid. The booking is right here and we don’t get the wacky tag partners which is never any good. I’m rather happy for the first near hour of this show. I must be coming down with something.

Tara destroys Angelina post match, I think turning heel.

Team Flair and mainly Flair talks about how this is Flair country. Flair gets in his first funny line since being in TNA by saying that JB annoys him. That’s hilarious. He’s out of his wheelchair now. I have no problem with him doing the talking for all of them actually. Also he just cuts a promo rather than screaming like a crazy man. AJ says exactly what he would be expected to say.

X Division Title: Homicide vs. Kazarian vs. Shannon Moore

If Moore wins, this show sucks. They should have just gone with a one on one number one contenders match but I can go with this I guess. No belt here since it’s in Europe I guess. I’d bet on that being used in an angle which would make sense at least. They double team Homicide to start. Apparently they don’t take kindly to qualifiers in these here parts.

Taz points out that he’s a former wrestler. That’s a good thing actually as a lot of people might not know that actually. If you started watching post 2002-03, you’ve likely never seen a Taz match. Homicide hits Eddie’s triple suplex. Scratch that as he doesn’t get through the trio.

Homicide hits a SICK double Diamond Cutter off the top but can’t get the pin. Nice spot there. Taz says he opened up a can. He and Tenay laugh like idiots. Ok then. We hit the near fall portion as everyone is making saves. It’s clichéd but it still works incredibly well.

Pretty solid stuff so far in here. After a near Gringo Killer, Kaz hooks more or less a reverse piledriver for the pin. He had Homicide on his back and dropped down. That was sweet.

Rating: B+. Solid stuff here and it worked very well. There was nothing epic about it but nothing bad here at all. The absence of Williams hurt but you can’t fault them for that. I liked it pretty well and so did the crowd. Yeah I’m bumping this up.

Pope says that AJ isn’t styling at all. Then he talks about a restaurant. Was that good or not? I’m not sure.

Team 3D vs. The Band

It’s Hall and Nash in case you missed it. And it’s not a cage match anymore but a St. Louis Street Fight where falls count anywhere in the building. Uh, sure why not. This actually is a major match given the teams in it so points for that. They start on the ramp and the Outsider’s Edge is blocked.

We’re in the crowd already. 3D said no one came to see a match but rather a fight. That makes sense at least. If the Waltman no-showing thing is legit, good riddance. The crowd is definitely making this show much better.

We’re back in the ring now with D-Von all by himself. What’s Up hits on Hall. 3D through the table ends this. This was almost a squash match. Well I didn’t expect that one at all.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent brawl here. I was really surprised at the ending though as Hall just took 3D and got pinned. It looks like they’re pushing 3D towards the tag titles again which is the epitome of a head scratcher but whatever. Decent enough match since I like 3D so there you are.

We recap Anderson vs. Angle which needs to be blown off for good tonight.

Kurt Angle vs. Ken Anderson

This is standard rules but Anderson has the key. Not sure I get the point to that aspect as it’s bound be thrown around sometime. Also, I’d prefer a regular cage match but this is fine I suppose. Anderson has the key around his neck. Ok he has a chain around his neck with the key around it but you get the idea. Anderson goes for the door like 30 seconds in and like an idiot, he forgets about Angle.

Anderson accidentally leaves the key in the lock so there goes the point of the ladder match entirely. Angle is bleeding BAD already. Tenay says it was bound to happen at some point. At some point? I think every match has had that so far. This is one of the feuds that I’ve really liked for the majority of it. Angle is WORKING in there man. He’s still one of the best in the world when he works at it.

There is blood everywhere. Ok not really but it sounds good. Angle hits his run up the ropes and hit a belly to belly. Love that. Anderson uses his wrist tape to choke Angle out which is rather brilliant. Solid match so far. Angle gets his Germans. He hits about 6 or 7 of them and Anderson is just about out of it.

Angle goes for the door but stops. Dang it Kurt don’t be stupid. Ankle Lock is on but you can’t win by tap out. And there’s the Mic Check. Yeah I’m stunned too. Anderson gets the lock open but Angle gets the Slam. And Angle locks the cage again. Ok then. And he throws the key away. Anderson freaks, even though there’s no roof on the cage.

Anderson tries to get out but Angle gets a German OFF THE TOP ROPE! SICK spot. Angle sets him for the moonsault but goes TO THE TOP OF THE CAGE! And he hits it. Yeah Angle still has it. Angle gets a key from….somewhere, but Anderson flips the double bird and is able to get a Mic Check.

We’re getting close to overkill here. Angle catches him with the ankle lock though and Anderson taps again. I smell a broken ankle. Anderson reverses but STILL can’t get out. Angel finds a chain or the Warrior Medal and chokes Anderson out with it in a reference to Anderson choking him out in the ladder match on Impact before walking out. GREAT match.

Rating: A+. Yeah I said it. Great match all around and the ending made sense given the way Anderson won the ladder match. This has been a great show and it needed a great match to get it over the hump. It just got that. Angle is still one of the best in the world and he can bring it.

Angle says he’s taking some time off but when he comes back he’s winning the TNA Title.

We recap Pope/AJ, meaning they’re putting Hogan/Flair over the title match. I shake my head at that but the cage match buys them a lot of points.

TNA World Title: D’Angelo Dinero vs. AJ Styles

Hebner throws Flair out to start. If he stays gone, then sweet. We get the big match intros which it should get. Tenay thinks that Flair being gone helps Pope. You can’t buy commentary like that people! We start off rather well. One good thing about Styles is he can work just about any style you ask him to.

Pope can move out there so this is a solid looking match. Also, this is a good thing as you have two smaller guys with limited muscles in the title picture. That’s a legit alternative to WWE. AJ hits the forearm and the 450 but goes to the top of the cage and misses. Solid match so far.

The double knee hits and gets two. AJ reaches through the cage and grabs a pen from the camera guy. Uh, ok. And he jabs Pope in the eye to set up the Styles Clash for the pin.

Rating: B. Just a total letdown there at the end. I do not get the point in jobbing Pope out. For the life of me I do not get that. He match was solid though but after the previous match, the crowd was a bit dead. Still very solid stuff though and I can work with it.

We cut to the back and Bischoff is JUST GETTING HERE. Was he fly fishing in Iceland or something?

It’s time for Lethal Lockdown! The rules are just like WarGames but you can win by pin also. No mention of the cage top this time.

Lethal Lockdown

Team Hogan: Abyss, Jeff Hardy, RVD, Jeff Jarrett
Team Flair: Sting, James Storm, Robert Roode, Desmond Wolfe

Apparently Abyss is tougher than Austin. Robert Roode starts for the heels. Remember, if Team Hogan loses then Hogan leaves. In the words of Jeff Hardy’s old music, don’t you see the writing on the wall? Apparently Abyss has a hairline fracture of his hip. Sure why not? These matches are always hard to comment on as they’re mainly huge messes for the most part.

The faces win the toss based on RVD winning earlier which is STUPID but whatever. Van Dam is in second. So the faces beat up Roode for awhile because that makes perfect sense right? Van Dam is busted open from the previous match he had tonight. Wolfe is in next. Great to see jobbers getting PPV time. Jarrett comes in to make it 3-2 as I continue to shake my head at the booking of the main event.

Storm ties it up. Again, there just isn’t much to talk about in between the periods really. Van Dam is nice and bloody. We’re down to Sting and Hardy for those keeping score. And there’s no Hardy. Check the stairwells. Yep Sting got to him. And here’s Sting. Ah ok they are doing the roof with weapons thing. That’s a nice touch.

Ok so now pins and submissions are legal. It’s a weapons mess at this point now as you would expect as we kill time before the finish. Jarrett gets knocked to the floor and Beer Money follows them. And it’s thumbtack time. Abyss takes a beer bottle to the head to stop that though. I’d love to see someone sue for assault of something. What a great heel move that would be. And now it’s time for Hardy.

Jarrett gets a guitar shot from the top followed by a 5 Star to Wolfe. Sting gets chokeslammed onto the tacks and Jeff goes up top. He’s able to beat up both of Beer Money after being hit by a baseball bat. Sure why not. And of course there’s a table on top of the cage. Why not?

Jeff climbs a ladder and splashes Storm on top of the cage to….a mild pop. And there’s Flair’s music. Ok then. Dang it here comes Hogan too. Flair is BITING ABYSS’ HAND TO GET THE RING OFF! That is hilarious! Bischoff comes out now and he throws knucks to Hogan who beats up Flair. And he takes his shirt off to fall onto the tacks. Sure why not. And Abyss gets the pin on Wolfe of course. Why have anyone but the jobber job I guess?

Rating: D. This didn’t do it for me. The ending was just bad. Hogan and Flair were the focus of the angle. I get that. The point is they never should have been. This was to get Hogan over even more and to have him go over Flair. Seriously, has Flair EVER gotten a win over Hogan? Not that I remember at least.

Also, Hardy and Abyss are just fine after attacks like that? Really? We’re just supposed to go along with that? Sure why not. Either way, this didn’t do it for me. Pope should have won the title to end the show but hey, Hogan gets to shine in the end and that’s the important thing right?

Overall Rating: B+. The ending just took a lot of the life out of it, but this was a VERY good show. Nothing on here is truly bad and there is a classic match on it which is a major thing for it. It gives you a thing you can point to and say see the show because of THIS.

The booking I question a lot for the last two matches though. Pope looks like just another guy at this point and AJ has…who left now? RVD I guess, but at a show like Sacrifice? Not sure on that one. Then again that match shouldn’t be happening here but whatever. Either way, good show and certainly worth checking out, especially the Anderson/Angle match.