WWE Vault – Best Of Perry Saturn: I’ll Take It (Full Video Included

Best Of Perry Saturn
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Terry Taylor, Jonathan Coachman, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This would fall into the “well ok then” category as who in the world was expecting a special look at Perry Saturn? He was never a big star in WWE, or really anywhere for that matter, though that doesn’t make him any less talented. I’m curious to see what kinds of highlights we’re getting here, as some of this stuff could be quite interesting. Let’s get to it.

Quick opening sequence.

From Barely Legal.

ECW Tag Team Titles: Eliminators vs. Dudley Boyz

The Dudleys are defending and we get the big entrance from Joel Gertner. The bell rings and Sign Guy Dudley tries to come in with some cheap shots. That earns him Total Elimination so the regular Dudleys are in, with Bubba powerbombing Kronus. D-Von’s top rope headbutt gets two and a splash (which the camera misses) connecting for the same. A Boss Man Slam plants Saturn but the 3D is broken up. The Eliminators are up with their usual collection of kicks as Saturn keeps having to tell Kronus where to go.

Stereo spinning top rope splashes hit the Dudleys and they roll outside, where they are knocked off the apron for a bonus. Kronus hits a big running flip dive to take the Dudleys down again, followed by a springboard spinwheel kick to D-Von back inside. Bubba is back in as well and you can tell there is something wrong (he broke his ankle somewhere in there). Saturn’s top rope elbow hits Bubba and D-Von is struck down. The fans chant for Saturn until Kronus hits a 450 on D-Von. Total Elimination to Bubba gives the Eliminators the titles at 6:31.

Rating: C+. The more I watch of the Eliminators, the clearer it becomes that Kronus did not have much. You could see Saturn having to tell him where to go and what to do, as Kronus was basically just a bunch of flips and dives with nothing in between. That being said, this was a good choice for an opener, as the hated Dudleys lose to give the fans a fun moment to start the show.

From Monday Nitro, November 3, 1997.

WCW TV Title: Saturn vs. Disco Inferno

Saturn is challenging in his WCW debut (save for a match on Saturday Night). Inferno jumps him to start fast and of course stops to dance. That lets Saturn trap the arms for a belly to belly and a hammerlock belly to belly. Saturn stays on the arm with some cranking and a spinning kick drops Inferno again. Another suplex sets up a Fujiwara armbar as the fans are distracted by something in the crowd. Inferno manages a shot of his own, only to get caught in a tiger suplex. The Rings Of Saturn gives us a new champion at 6:37.

Rating: C. Total squash from Saturn here, as Inferno’s early offense got him nowhere and his comeback lasted all of five seconds. Saturn completely dismantled Inferno and that’s exactly what this match should have been. Inferno was never presented as a serious champion so Saturn should have been able to run through him like this.

Post match the Flock celebrates by beating up Stevie Richards (a member of the team).

From Monday Nitro, February 23, 1998.

Saturn vs. Yuji Nagata

Sonny Onoo is here with Nagata. Saturn grinds away on a headlock to start as commentary talks about him losing the TV Title to Booker T. They go to the mat with neither getting very far so Nagata takes over with a series of kicks to the chest. A dragon suplex gets Saturn out of trouble but Nagata gives him an exploder for two of his own.

Nagata starts in on the leg and, after shrugging off a right hand, cranks on the leg even harder. A kneebar goes on as commentary talks about Rick Martel’s knee being wrecked last night at SuperBrawl (which is a shame as it cut off an amazing comeback). Saturn comes back with a hot shot and a suplex for two but Nagata gets in a Saito suplex. The Nagata Lock (standing Figure Four) goes on but Saturn slips out and pulls him into the Rings for the submission at 6:35.

Rating: C+. I’ve never quite gotten the appeal of Nagata but this was good enough. They beat each other up with a style of match that was pretty far ahead of its time. This was a bunch of suplexes and strikes, which felt like it belonged in 2018 rather than 1998. Saturn did well with this style, which shouldn’t be a surprise given what he was usually doing. Nice match here.

From Spring Stampede 1998.

Saturn vs. Goldberg

Dang those WCW pay per view sets were awesome. Goldberg sends him flying to start and it’s off to an early kneebar. Billy Kidman makes a quick save so Goldberg throws him onto Saturn. Back in and Saturn sweeps the leg into a springboard spinning legdrop. A middle rope elbow gets one but Goldberg is right back with his swinging neckbreaker. Goldberg picks him up for a gorilla press World’s Strongest Slam but Saturn gets in a suplex.

They go outside where Saturn sends him into the steps, snaps off a hurricanrana and then gets in a posting. An Asai moonsault almost goes horribly wrong as Saturn slips and almost falls down hard, with Goldberg thankfully there to catch him. Back in and a top rope spinwheel kick drops Goldberg for a Fujiwara armbar. That’s broken up and Goldberg hits a side slam but, after a bit of miscommunication, charges into a dropkick.

Back up and Goldberg hits a superkick (Bret Hart scoffs), followed by the spear. Kidman offers a distraction though and Saturn gets in a low blow. Saturn tries to take him up and gets super gorilla press slammed down (that looked great). Cue the Flock to swarm Goldberg, who shrugs it off and spears Kidman. The Rings go on but Goldberg powers him up into a fireman’s carry and then the Jackhammer for the pin at 8:02.

Rating: B-. What you had here was a good example of Saturn understanding the assignment. Goldberg was already set for a US Title shot the next night on Nitro (which he would of course win) so it wasn’t like there was any real drama about Saturn ending the Streak. Instead, this was about making Goldberg work for a win and look like a superhero, which Saturn could certainly do. Goldberg was still incredibly green at this point and Saturn was right there to walk him through the whole thing. Good stuff here.

From Monday Nitro, June 1, 1998.

Saturn/Raven vs. Public Enemy

Saturn suplexes Grunge to start and hands it off to Raven, who kicks away twice and then tags right back out. Rock comes in for a double elbow, followed by a drop toehold into a legdrop to the back of the head. Saturn gets knocked down again and a top rope elbow/side slam combination connects for two. Rock misses a moonsault though and Raven tags himself in, only to hit Saturn….by mistake? I think? It’s not entirely clear, but Saturn gets in Raven’s face.

Grunge clotheslines both of them down and Rock adds a flip dive to the floor. Back in and an assisted Swanton hits Saturn and Raven is put on a table for a running Swanton, with the table not breaking. Rock isn’t happy with that and does it AGAIN, with Raven landing on a mostly broken table. A chair is brought in but Grunge is sent into it, setting up the Death Valley Driver from Saturn. Raven is back in though and steals the pin at 6:44.

Rating: C+. You were probably expecting a sloppy brawl here and….well kind of as it came pretty close. Instead though, this was mainly about Raven and Saturn having issues, which worked out rather well. Saturn continues to look like the ready to break out star and that should be a great sign for his future. Raven is holding that back and that won’t work out well for him in the long term.

From Fall Brawl 1998.

Saturn vs. Raven

Anything goes and if Saturn wins, the Flock is free but if Raven wins, Saturn has to be his servant for the rest of his career. Kanyon is also handcuffed at ringside and is not happy. Saturn is now in trunks rather than jean shorts and it makes him look like a bigger star. Before the match, Raven calls Saturn an embarrassment while Saturn says Raven has no honor.

Raven starts fast with a hot shot but Saturn sends him into the corner. A knockdown sets up a top rope splash to give Saturn two and he knocks Raven into the barricade. Lodi tries to help Raven up but Saturn dives onto both of them for the big crash. Saturn gets sent into the barricade though and Lodi gets in some shots to put him in trouble again. Some middle rope elbows give Raven two and he grabs the sleeper, with Saturn jawbreaking his way to freedom.

A Russian legsweep gives Raven two but he drops down onto Saturn’s raised knees for a low blow. Saturn can’t fight back though and gets drop toeholded into an open chair. Cue Kidman for a save with Horace chasing him off. The Death Valley Driver gets a delayed two thanks to a Lodi distraction and Saturn fires off some clotheslines. The springboard spinning legdrop gets two and the Rings go on, with Lodi having to make a save.

Saturn beats them both up but the referee goes down, allowing Kanyon to pick his pocket. Kanyon unlocks himself and gives Saturn a Downward Spiral before being smart enough to handcuff himself again. Saturn kicks out of the very delayed cover and the fans are VERY pleased. Saturn’s Death Valley Driver sends Lodi through a table at ringside (that looked great) but the Even Flow connects….for two. A quick Death Valley Driver gives Saturn the win at 14:04.

Rating: B. This might be the peak of Saturn’s time in wrestling, as he gets to beat Raven to disband the Flock while overcoming the odds in the process. The fans were WAY behind what Saturn was doing here, with the reactions to those kickouts telling you everything you needed to know. It was a heck of a match and the culmination of a big story, which is more than we’ve seen thus far.

From Monday Nitro, January 25, 1999.

Saturn vs. Norman Smiley

Ok then. Saturn is in a dress (it was a thing for him, as I guess he was getting too over) and knocks him down to start fast. A running shoulder drops Smiley and Saturn grinds away on a headlock. Smiley fights out and gets in a shot of his own and teases the Big Wiggle, only to get elbowed in the face. A quick powerslam gives Smiley two and we hit the chinlock as we take a break.

We come back with Smiley suplexing him down and adding the swinging slam out of the corner. A butterfly suplex gives Smiley two and he turns Saturn inside out with a clothesline. Saturn knocks him down, only to have a Vader Bomb hit raised knees. A delayed vertical suplex gets two on Saturn and Smiley, after adjusting the dress, gets in the Big Wiggle. Saturn is back with a superkick and top rope knee before doing his own version of the Big Wiggle, which gets quite the reaction. The Death Valley Driver finishes Smiley at 10:47.

Rating: C+. And this is where the frustration sets in. Just a few months after Saturn beat Raven for the big moment, here he is in a nothing match with comedy wrestler Norman Smiley. Commentary spent a good chunk of the match making jokes about the dress, and what else were you expecting? WCW took a hot star and turned him into a joke, probably because he was getting to a level where they didn’t want him. That’s one of the many reasons WCW isn’t around today.

From Judgment Day 2000.

WWF European Title: Perry Saturn vs. Dean Malenko vs. Eddie Guerrero

Guerrero is defending and they start fast with Guerrero being sent into the corner. Saturn clotheslines Malenko down but gets dropped by Guerrero. A hurricanrana each takes both challengers down, followed by a tornado DDT to give Guerrero two. Malenko is back up with some running clotheslines, which gets commentary to stop oogling Chyna for a bit. Guerrero crotches Malenko on top but gets dropped with the super gutbuster.

Saturn sends Malenko outside and hits a nice frog splash for two on Guerrero with Malenko making the save. Saturn’s double belly to back suplex drops both of them before he goes outside…where Chyna hits him in the head with the bouquet of roses (including the lead pipe). Back in and Malenko cuts off a roses shot but Chyna trips him down, allowing Guerrero to get la majistral to retain at 7:57 (ignore Malenko’s shoulder being off the mat).

Rating: B-. They had to get the Radicalz in there somehow and they only had so many options that didn’t involve a certain someone. Saturn was getting in some good offense here but Guerrero retaining makes sense. Solid match here, and I’ll take that as the Radicalz entry on the collection.

From WWF Jakked, March 9, 2002.

Perry Saturn vs. Paul London

An early headlock takeover has Saturn down and London dropkicks him out to the floor. Saturn snaps London’s neck across the top rope to take over back inside. Some slow stomping lets Saturn keep him down for the big top rope elbow (which always looked great). Saturn goes up top again but get knocked out of the air, allowing London to get two off a Lionsault. The shooting star press misses though and a Death Valley Driver finishes London off at 6:58.

Rating: C. This was a really weird way to wrap it up, as I guess they were only interested in finishing with a Saturn win over a future name. The action wasn’t exactly great and you could tell that Saturn had been seriously demoted by this point. Still though, he got to do some of his signature stuff and it still looked good enough.

Overall Rating: C+. The frustrating thing about Saturn is that he was never given a real chance to get over as a big deal. Of course I wasn’t expecting him to be among the top names in either company, but he could work in the ring, had a unique look and had the fans behind him. Then he lost to a leaving Chris Jericho and was put in a dress, because that’s what you do with an up and coming star. Or eventually give him a mop as a best friend/love interest.

It’s a shame that he was the victim of such nonsense, as there was definitely potential to do something more. If nothing else, let him do that big elbow, as he made it look absolutely devastating. Either way, this was a very nice surprise on the Vault and I could go for seeing a lot more just like this with names that aren’t exactly top stars.

 

 

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Halloween Havoc 1998 (2024 Edition): Oh WCW, You Magnificently Blithering Idiots

Halloween Havoc 1998
Date: October 25, 1998
Location: MGM Grand Garden Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 10,663
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

So this popped up on the WWE Vault channel and I might as well look at it again. This show is more infamous than famous, with an all time terrible match, a pretty great main event, and one massive headache for WCW as the show went off the air late, resulting in a bunch of people not even seeing the ending. Let’s get to it.

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The opening video is rather serious and looks at a bunch of the bigger matches. Of all the things WCW spent money on, this wasn’t one of them.

Dang that pumpkin set is awesome.

Commentary talks about the show, with Heenan throwing on a mask to annoy Schiavone as only he can.

The Nitro Girls are here for the first time and are promised to be back. I get the appeal of having cheerleaders out there, but are they doing anything more than filling time?

Here is Rick Steiner to talk about how he’s looking at Scott Steiner as just another opponent. Cue Buff Bagwell to say everyone is sick of Scott so he’ll have Rick’s back. And yes, Rick falls for this, showing that the University of Michigan isn’t much in the academic department. Also, this could have been done on any given Nitro or Thunder rather than being on the show.

TV Title: Raven vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho is defending in what appears to be a bonus match. Before the match, Raven sits in the corner and says his recent losing streak is NOT his fault. He doesn’t feel like wrestling tonight and he wasn’t told in advance so he’s not going to do it. Jericho says not so fast because he is buyrates, people in the seats and rock and roll. Calling Raven a loser is enough to draw him back in for the bell, with Jericho stomping away and swinging Raven’s jacket.

Back up and Raven sends him outside for a dive, meaning it’s time for a whip into the steps. A dropkick has Jericho in more trouble but Raven is back with a quick hot shot to take over. They go outside again with Jericho’s dive only hitting the barricade. Back in and Jericho suplexes his way out of a sleeper before taking off a turnbuckle pad. Naturally Jericho goes head first into it and a clothesline gives Raven two.

The Liontamer goes on but Raven makes the rope (rather than tapping out in a hurry as he has been doing lately) and hits a quick Even Flow for two. Jericho low blows him into a bridging German suplex but cue Kanyon for and attempted distraction. Instead Jericho reverses the Even Flow into another Liontamer for the tap at 7:42.

Rating: B. It’s nice to see Raven getting to have a good match as he could certainly go in the ring when he had the chance. It helped that he was in there with Jericho, who was really starting to come into his own around this time. You could see the star power and it made him someone you wanted to see, which is quite the valuable thing to have.

Jericho’s over the top celebration is great.

Here are Hollywood Hogan and Eric Bischoff for a chat. Hogan says he’ll keep it short and then goes into a long rant about laying out his nephew Horace, because he wanted to prove you needed to be in the NWO. As for tonight, he’ll beat up the Warrior, for life. There was absolutely no need or this to be on the show.

Meng vs. Wrath

Hoss fight time and they go straight to the floor to start with Meng being sent into the barricade. They get inside, where Meng rams his own head into the buckle over and over. Wrath hits a middle rope clothesline but the Meltdown (pumphandle powerslam) is escaped, allowing Meng to hit a kick to the face. Meng strikes away in the corner and hits a running clothesline but the Tongan Death Grip is countered into a Rock Bottom for two. The Meltdown finishes for Wrath at 4:23.

Rating: C+. Not much time for this one but they hit each other rather hard for few minutes that they had. It made Wrath look good too, which was a bit of a mini project at the time. They certainly needed to build someone up for Kevin Nash to beat later, because beating someone on a winning streak set him up to beat someone else on a winning streak. I mean, it’s not like WCW could have used someone like Wrath, who was getting over around this point with wins like this one.

Billy Kidman is down to face either challenger to his Cruiserweight Title.

Disco Inferno vs. Juventud Guerrera

For a Cruiserweight Title shot later tonight. Disco takes him into the corner to start and stomps away, setting up a side slam for two. Juventud snaps off a headscissors and, after messing something up, sends Disco crashing out to the floor. An anklescissors takes Disco down again but he’s right back with a running clothesline. The not very tight chinlock goes on before Juventud fights out and sends him to the floor for the big dive.

Back in and the Juvy Driver is countered into a neckbreaker for a very delayed near fall. The Macarena (yes it is 1998) takes too long and Juventud rolls him up for two, only for Disco to fall down into low blow. Disco goes up and gets crotched down, setting up a super hurricanrana. Juventud’s top rope flip dive connects but Disco is back with a quick piledriver for the pin at 9:40. Ignore Juventud’s shoulder being on Disco’s leg rather than the mat.

Rating: C. This is another good example of a match that could have taken place on Thunder instead of here as it was hardly anything pay per view worthy. Disco did his basic stuff until the piledriver while Juventud was flying around as well as he could have, albeit to limited results. And we even get more Disco later!

More Nitro Girls.

Here is Scott Steiner for a chat. He’s been with his freaks so coming to Vegas is a breather. Scott heard Rick Steiner and Buff Bagwell getting together, so tonight he and the Giant will make it a Tag Team Title match (ignore that Scott HALL and the Giant are the champions right now, hence neither of them having a belt at the moment, even if Giant should have one). Giant comes out to agree so here is JJ Dillon to say that if the champs lose the titles, Scott will face Rick one on one immediately after.

So that’s another bonus match being added. And we’re having a tag match instead of a singles match because the tag team knows they would win a tag match but if they don’t, then it’s the planned singles match, even if the non-champions have already lost the titles. Yes this is 1998 WCW and somehow, it would get far, far worse.

Fit Finlay vs. Alex Wright

We hear about Finlay breaking Wright’s dad’s leg years ago as Finlay takes over on the wrist to start. An elbow to the face has Wright in more trouble but he knocks Finlay down and stomps away. Back up and Finlay hits him in the face for a knock out to the floor. Wright gets dropped face first onto the barricade and they head back inside, where a running crossbody sends both of them crashing back to the floor. Back in again and Finlay misses a charge into the corner, allowing Wright to grab a neckbreaker for the pin at 5:10.

Rating: C. This was mostly Finlay beating Wright up for about 90% of the match until Wright caught him with one move at the end. The match was something that felt like it belonged on Saturday Night more than a pay per view yet here it is, adding another match to this marathon show. Commentary didn’t even pretend like this was anything important either, making it feel even less important.

Note that we’re over an hour into this show and pretty much NOTHING has happened. We’ve had one good match, which wasn’t advertised, a match to set up a title match later, and two pretty much nothing matches. Yeah there’s other stuff coming, but feel free to GET ON WITH IT.

Ernest Miller is on WCW.com and brags about his greatness.

Saturn vs. Lodi

This isn’t what I meant by “GET ON WITH IT”. Saturn works on the arm to start so Lodi bails outside and grabs his signs (they’re his thing), only for Saturn to sweep his leg out. A suplex drops Lodi again and a whip into the corner makes it worse. Saturn hits some suplexes and the Death Valley Driver completes the squash at 3:49.

Rating: C-. Saturn got to massacre Lodi, though I’m not sure why this match actually needed to take place on the pay per view. Saturn smashing the Flock’s mascot isn’t a pay per view match but rather something that should be in the second hour of Thunder. That’s the theme of this whole show so far and that isn’t good to see, even if I’ve always liked Saturn.

We look at Buff Bagwell rejecting the NWO. Totally. For real.

Nitro Girls.

Cruiserweight Title: Disco Inferno vs. Billy Kidman

Kidman is defending and grabs a headlock to start with limited avail. An exchange of wristlocks doesn’t go very far either so Kidman grabs a slingshot armdrag. Disco drop toeholds him throat first into the ropes but Kidman sens him outside for a crash. Back in and Kidman misses a top rope splash though and we hit the chinlock.

Disco lets go and dances, followed by a belly to back suplex for two. The dancing middle rope elbow misses but Disco is right back with the piledriver for two more. A gordbuster gets another near fall so Kidman calmly faceplants him. The shooting star press retains the title at 10:50.

Rating: C. Again, the problem is Disco doesn’t do anything beyond simple stuff and that didn’t leave Kidman in any real danger. Other than maybe the piledriver, this was just waiting around for Kidman to win. It doesn’t help that this was the second Disco match of the night, again making things feel rather extended for no apparent reason.

Tag Team Titles: Rick Steiner/Buff Bagwell vs. Scott Steiner/Buff Bagwell

Rick and Buff are challenging and if they win the titles, Rick gets to face Scott “for fifteen minutes”. Scott distracts Rick to start and Giant slugs away to take over. An atomic drop puts Rick in more trouble and it’s off to Scott for some shots from behind. Rick fights up with right hands in the corner and an elbow connects. Buff wants the tag though and OF COURSE he turns on Rick with a low blow, because that’s something WCW loves to do.

Commentary tries to sound shocked because that’s what they have to do as Buff runs off. Scott chokes and knees away on the ropes before Giant comes in to pull Rick up at two. It’s back to Scott so Rick fights up, only to get cut off with a low blow. For some reason Giant goes up and accidentally missile dropkicks Scott, leaving him hung up in the ropes for a funny visual. Rick gets up, Steiner Bulldogs Giant, and wins the Tag Team Titles at 8:23.

Rating: D. Other than the Giant hitting that dropkick, this was the point where the good in-ring side mostly falls off, as there is only so much you can get out of another SWERVE from Bagwell and the slow hammering offense from the Steiners. And of course Rick and Buff are the new champions, which would somehow lead to Rick teaming with Buff’s mother Judy Bagwell, say it with me, because WCW.

Rick Steiner vs. Scott Steiner

Scott tries to leave with the Giant but Rick goes after him for a ram into the steps. They get back in and Scott charges into a boot in the corner before being sent outside again. Another low blow (four on the night between all of the brawling) drops Rick again and Scott hits a running crotch attack against the ropes.

Rick grabs a belly to belly…and a guy in a Bill Clinton mask (and a suit) jumps the barricade, beats up security, and is handed a slap jack by an interfering Stevie Ray to knock Rick and the referee cold for the DQ at 3:32. And of course it’s Bagwell. Hold on though as Scott covers Rick and Buff makes the referee count, with Rick kicking out. The Frankensteiner gets two but Rick fights back and hits the Steiner Bulldog for the pin at 5:02.

Rating: D-. So Bagwell wore jeans for the tag match, ran to the back, put on a suit and mask so he could interfere in the ensuing singles match before unveiling himself. This would be after Buff and Rick won the Tag Team Titles from a team who weren’t he actual champions to set up a match which was already scheduled but was technically canceled before being put back in, despite not being “for fifteen minutes” as advertised. I have no idea how any of this was supposed to work, but it certainly didn’t.

We recap Scott Hall vs. Kevin Nash. They were best friends, but their loyalty to Hollywood Hogan and the NWO (and money) have split them up so they’re finally having a match.

Scott Hall vs. Kevin Nash

Hall throws his drink into Nash’s face and hammers away to start. They go out to the floor where Hall gets in a microphone shot and chokes with a camera cord. We pause for the referees to check on Nash’s eyes so Hall mocks him before dropping Nash with more right hands. Hall mocks being drunk as the fans chant for the Wolfpac, which is cut off by Hall’s slam.

Some right hands in the corner have Nash in trouble but he says bring it on, setting up the big side slam. Hall fights up with more right hands but has to bail from the threat of a Jackknife. Back in and things reset a bit, with Nash shoving him down without much trouble. Hall grabs an armbar but Nash shrugs it off and stomps him down.

Nash’s running crotch attack against the ropes keeps Hall in trouble and some knees in the corner (Nash: “How about a double? Would you like a double?”) makes it worse. The straps come down and Nash hits the Jackknife (or Jackhammer according to Schiavone), followed by a second. The crotch chop is enough to let Hall walk out for the countout at 14:21.

Rating: C. This was a storyline match instead of a more traditional version and in this case, that’s the right idea. Hall got in his usual stuff here but Nash gets the big dominant performance, with the actual result not mattering. At least it felt like this mattered in the slightest though and even made sense, which is a chance of pace from most o the rest of the show.

US Title: Sting vs. Bret Hart

Hart is defending and bails to the floor to start as commentary talks about the personal issues that are more important than the title. They don’t bother saying WHAT THOSE ISSUES ARE but that’s WCW for you. Hart gets back inside, the bell rings, and Hart bails to the floor again. Sting follows him outside and throws Hart back inside to hammer away in the corner. A head first ramp into the mat gives Sting two but Hart goes after the eyes to take over.

Hart drops a leg for two and we hit the chinlock, which is broken up even faster than usual. Sting’s comeback is cut off with a bulldog out of the corner but the middle rope elbow is countered into a failed Scorpion Deathlock attempt. Back up and Hart tries a leapfrog but grabs his knee, with even Heenan saying the fans are tired of being lied to all night. Hart gets in a cheap shot and drops the middle rope elbow for two as things slow back own. A drop onto the barricade has Sting in more trouble and Hart decks the referee.

With the referee down, Sting starts the comeback, with both of them jumping over the referee in a funny bit. Hart gets crotched on top and a top rope superplex somewhat lands on the referee to leave everyone down for awhile. The Stinger Splash hits the post so Hart hits him with the baseball bat over and over. A middle rope bat shot lets Hart finish what used to be Sting with the Sharpshooter to retain at 15:06.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t great but I’ll take a match between two stars with a definitive ending. Hart basically destroyed Sting here and the ending was a way to write Sting off for a bit. It’s good to see him get a win after the incredibly messy start to his WCW run and it worked well enough here, even if Hart was clearly not anywhere near what he was back in the WWF.

Sting does a stretcher job as commentary wonders what is wrong with him.

Hollywood Hogan vs. Warrior

Warrior beat him eight and a half years ago, then showed up to say that he can do it again. Hogan panicked and here we are for a showdown, which has the potential to be a disaster. Naturally Hogan stalls on the floor before the bell before a big right hand knocks him into the corner to start. Warrior cranks on the arm and Hogan is already bailing out to the floor again.

We get the tease of the test of strength but Hogan goes with a cheap shot to take over. Now they do the test and Warrior goes down as the attempt to recreate an iconic moment falls flatter than expected. Back up and they do the criss cross until Warrior shrugs off a slam and clotheslines him to the floor. They slowly brawl around ringside before Hogan gets back inside and decks the referee.

Cue the Giant, who hits Hogan by mistake (as he falls apart just before leaving the promotion), allowing Warrior to clothesline him out to the floor. There’s no referee to count, so Hogan grabs a belly to back suplex (see, because that happened in 1990 too) for a delayed two. Hogan whips him with the weightlifting belt bu misses some elbows as Warrior rolls away. This includes rolling towards Hogan, because left and right is too complicated here.

Warrior misses the splash but comes back with Hogan’s weightlifting belt to whip away. The referee breaks it up so hogan grabs some flash paper, which sets off a fireball…which doesn’t go anywhere near Warrior’s face. Warrior hammers away, including some ax handles to the head. A low blow cuts Warrior off and Hogan drops leg but Warrior fights up. Cue Horace Hogan to chair Warrior in the back so Hogan can grab the trunks for the win at 14:33.

Rating: F. Normally I would say something like “this was sad” but in this case, it was just pathetic, almost all of which has to be put on Hogan. As there is pretty much no way that this was Warrior’s plan for the match, instead we had far worse versions of the spots from their legendary match with both of them older and Hogan not being the kind of character who fits in this match at all. This really was one of the worst matches I’ve ever seen and it was all about making Hogan feel better after putting Warrior over almost nine years earlier. Lucky us.

Post match Hogan loads up lighter fluid but security breaks it up, not wanting to see any more of this either.

The WWE Vault version cuts out the entrances for the next match and we go straight to the ring.

So this is where the show gets infamous. As you’ve probably noticed, I’ve mentioned the timing issues that the show has had throughout the whole night. That is because the show was pretty much entirely out of time here, with the pay per view window of 11pm (or whatever it was) having about three minutes left as the World Title match was still left to go. As a result, a bunch of people lost the feed for the show and didn’t get to see the main event, forcing WCW to show it for free on Nitro.

It’s one thing to have a show go a little bit long, but this was asking for almost fifteen extra minutes and all because of a bunch of bonus matches, completely unnecessary promos and stuff like the Nitro Girls. It came off like WCW didn’t care what they did and just thought everyone would go along with them and that isn’t how things worked. While this wasn’t some death blow, it was a really big own goal and that’s not something the company could afford around this time. Things would get worse in a hurry, but this one is infamous for reasons of “WCW screwed up big.”

WCW World Title: Goldberg vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Goldberg is defending after Page earned the title shot by winning WarGames. Page charges at him a few times to start but gets shoved into the corner over and over by the raw power. They lock up and crash out to the floor as there is some rather strong electricity going here. Back in and Page tries a legsweep so Goldberg does a standing moonsault to avoid, only to get swept down instead for a quick staredown.

An armbar sends Page to the ropes but the threat of a Diamond Cutter gets him shoved outside again. Back in and Goldberg shoulders him right back outside but Page grabs a neckbreaker for a needed breather. Page’s front facelock is countered into Goldberg’s neckbreaker for a change and a side slam gets two. Goldberg kicks him into the corner but the spear hits the post, with the fans getting back into it as Page has an opening.

The top rope clothesline gives Page two and a spinning DDT connects but Goldberg pops back up with a heck of a spear. The shoulder is too damaged to hit the Jackhammer though and Page grabs the Diamond Cutter, which has the fans going rather nuts. The rather delayed cover gets two so Page tries a suplex, which is reversed into a not great Jackhammer (which is kind of the point) to retain the title at 10:29.

Rating: B. This was the first time Goldberg had what would be considered a full match, with Page not being able to hang with him throughout, but having the one big move that could actually threaten Goldberg. The pop from the Diamond Cutter was great and it’s a very good match and Page clearly walked through it, though it was more just a really solid showing rather than a classic. Still though, Goldberg’s best WCW match by a mile and Page’s road to the world title continues.

Goldberg shows respect to end the show in a hurry.

Overall Rating: D+. The interesting thing here is that there are some good matches on here (main event, opener, Sting vs. Hart, a few other ok ones) but e pluribus gads the bad parts are horrible. Hogan vs. Warrior is an all time bad example of what happens when one person gets everything they want, the Tag Team Title/Steiners stuff is a terrible mess and pretty much the entire first hour is a waste of time and a ridiculous waste of the fans’ money. Throw in the whole total disaster with the pay per view slot and this really is an elite level disaster.

 

 

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Thunder – September 23, 1999: Why Do These People Have Jobs?

Thunder
Date: September 23, 1999
Location: Norfolk Scope, Norfolk, Virginia
Attendance: 3,782
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko

We’re coming off a very welcome week break from this show due to a hurricane last week. This past Monday’s show was more of the same from WCW as the company made sure the young and hard working guys were stuck on the other side of the show from the main event stars, who had to be there to draw the audience. Let’s get to it.

After the usual opening from the announcers, we look at Chavo putting Psychosis in a hair vs. mask match against Kidman on Monday.

Lodi vs. Kidman

After a hug with his brother/I don’t really want to know what else, Lodi fires off some knees into the ribs. A drop toehold puts Kidman down and Lodi gets in a quick spank for some alleged comedy. That earns Lodi a dropkick in the face and a clothesline to the floor, setting up a big dive onto both blonds. Lenny offers a distraction and Lodi takes over with a legdrop and a suplex for two. A bulldog gets the same after a failed Kidman comeback attempt and we hit the chinlock.

That goes nowhere so Kidman is sent outside for a brawl with the champ. Lodi actually dives onto both of them to take over again (was he ever out of control? Well maybe back in the Flock days). Back in and Kidman hits his Bodog and does the usual to escape a powerbomb. Lodi is no Lenny it seems. Lenny offers yet another distraction to break up the Shooting Star, drawing out Eddie Guerrero to take care of him. This brings out Chavo to talk trash and then leave. Ok then. Lenny gets on the apron but Kidman whips Lodi into him, setting up the BK Bomb for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not much to this one but that’s almost always the case with the Lodi matches. That being said, it’s very refreshing to actually get to the end of a match instead of just seeing Sid come down to do the same thing every single week and often times in the same show. Lenny is getting up a pretty big set of challengers to go after the belt and I’m getting into his title reign.

Harlem Heat is shown walking in the back but they turn a corner and brawling noises are heard. Sid and Steiner walk around the same corner from the other way.

We see Sid and Goldberg yelling at each other from Nitro.

Tenay (not Gene for some reason) calls out Harlem Heat but only gets Booker. Apparently Stevie is on his way to the hospital as Sid and Steiner gave Stevie a bump on the head. That’s quite the speedy ambulance. Anyway, Booker wants Sid tonight to prove that this winning streak is a fraud.

Brandi Alexander vs. Mona

A lot of posing delays the start of the match as Tenay tells us to go on the World Wide Web for more information on the WCW Mayhem video game. Mona gets taken down in a test of strenght about a minute after the bell. They roll into a quick pinfall reversal sequence until Mona gets caught in a wristlock.

A dropkick puts Brandi on the floor but she pulls the blonde outside for a clothesline. Back in and Brandi stomps away before posing some more. She gets two off a gutwrench suplex but Mona backflips into a headscissors followed by some forearms to the jaw. Not that it matters as Brandi counters a monkey flip and puts her feet on the ropes for the pin. Uh….upset?

Rating: C-. The match was acceptable but these stand alone matches can only get them so far. At the end of the day, what am I supposed to think of this match? Mona beat her two months ago and now Brandi evens things up. There’s no title to fight over and no one else for them to face, so there’s nothing here but a decent match and a pretty Mona. Did Mona ever even face Madusa?

The split second the pin goes down, they go to an ad for Hogan and Sting videos. That was one of the fastest cuts I’ve ever seen.

Mayhem ad.

We see Karagias pinning Blitzkrieg to earn his title shot tonight.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Saturn

Headlock from Saturn to start followed by a hammerlock as they hit the mat for a wrestling sequence. Back up and a big clothesline drops Guerrero and it’s off to an armbar. Chavo tries to get underneath Saturn, earning him a good stomping. Sometimes that’s all you need to do. Back up again and a German suplex sends Chavo flying and he rolls out to the floor for a breather. Chavo gets back in but quickly flips over to the apron. He can’t ram Saturn into the buckle though and gets suplexed from the apron back inside. Other than a few quickly broken holds, it’s all Saturn so far.

Chavo finally jumps over a charge in the corner and dropkicks the knee before a clothesline puts Saturn on the floor. A nice plancha gets two back inside and we hit the chinlock. Saturn doesn’t like to rest though and gets up for a big t-bone suplex, followed by a forearm and another suplex. He loads up a superplex (logical next step) but Eddie runs out to swing at him. Unfortunately he misses Saturn and knocks Chavo to the mat. Somehow the referee doesn’t see Eddie coming in and dropkicking Saturn, allowing Chavo to collapse head first onto Saturn’s crotch for the pin.

Rating: C. Can Saturn please get a big win, or even a win in general? This wasn’t much to see but Saturn’s suplexes looked good. They’re setting up something interesting with the Animals vs. the Revolution, even though they both should be moving up the ladder a bit. The same idea worked with the Nation vs. DX in 1998 and stealing an idea only a year old isn’t bad for WCW. Would Eddie and Benoit be HHH and Rock in that analogy?

Here are Sid, Steiner and Charles Robinson with something to say. Sid talks about a restraining order against Goldberg and the US Title match at Halloween Havoc is off if there’s contact. Booker and Goldberg are stupid for meeting kids and doing all that other hero stuff before saying tonight, it’s 100-0. Robinson even has the next sign ready. So Robinson is some freaky Ric Flair and Lodi crossbreed?

Coach Buzz Stern is going to bring Luther Biggs to Thunder. Just get it over with so this can mean nothing.

We recap Sting vs. Benoit and the fallout with Sting attacking Hogan’s knee later in the night. They’re really pushing that six man tag so points for trying to build to a big match.

This Week In WCW Motorsports.

Prince Iaukea vs. Van Hammer

You know, I was just starting to think this show wasn’t half bad. That’s what I get for even thinking for a second that this show isn’t a horrible abomination. I need to stay more vigilant. The Prince jumps him from behind and actually gets two off a rollup. Hammer slams him down but gets small packaged for another near fall, followed by a headbutt. At least Iaukea is being more aggressive. He’s still horrible to watch but he’s aggressive. Hammer tries an Irish whip but gets poked in the eye for his efforts.

Yet another rollup gets two as dear goodness there’s an actual story to this thing. Hammer gets tired of this match and kicks Prince in the face before hanging him in a Tree of Woe and choking him from the floor. When you’re ripping off Rick Steiner moves, it’s time to hang it up buddy. A few slams set up a few chinlocks on Iaukea but he finally fights up and kicks Hammer low. I know I said just make it legal already and it seems like they actually have. Prince hits a Samoan drop but walks into a spinebuster, setting up the cobra clutch slam for the pin.

Rating: D. Well it was a bit better than a squash but that doesn’t mean it’s an interesting or even good match. I did like the idea of Iaukea just going for fast wins because he can’t go toe to toe with someone Hammer’s size, but at the end of the day it’s still Hammer and Iaukea getting five minutes on live television. There’s no way this can be considered a good thing.

Hammer says he wants a US Title shot on Nitro. I can’t decide if Sid vs. Hammer on live TV is worse than Hammer vs. Prince on live TV and for some reason I’m going to get to find out. I hate my life.

Revolution video.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rick Steiner

Rick runs his mouth about Booker to start and still wants people to bite him. Eddie can’t take Steiner down either from behind or by the leg and I have a bad feeling about where this is going. He gets behind Steiner again but this time Rick switches over and throws Eddie down with a German suplex.

Steiner hammers away in the corner and starts ripping at Eddie’s face. A chinlock goes nowhere so Eddie is dumped to the floor. He manages to reverse a whip for the closest thing to offense he’s had so far. Naturally that’s all Rick is going to give him and it’s time for choking with a cord. Back in and Steiner slaps him before shrugging off right hands to the face. A spinebuster plants Eddie for two but he gets back up with a hurricanrana. Cue Sid to chokeslam Eddie off the top for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Is there an emergency button for Steiner to push when he’s actually having to sell? Have we ever even been given a reason why Sid and Steiner got together? Given that we’re still waiting on a reason for Nash to join up with Hogan and surrender the title when he had gotten away with everything (my goodness that sounds like forever ago), I wouldn’t hold my breath. This match showed that not even Eddie Guerrero can save Rick Steiner, which is all you need to know.

Kidman makes the save and gets powerbombed. If Lenny hadn’t done it recently, that would drive me a lot crazier.

CALL THE HOTLINE! SEE HOW ELSE WE’RE GOING TO SCREW THIS UP!

Cruiserweight Title: Evan Karagias vs. Lenny Lane

Karagias is challenging after beating Blitzkrieg on Nitro. Lodi’s sign: “Lenny is hard to beat.” Lenny takes Evan down to start and cranks on a hammerlock (popular move tonight) but has to run away from some right hands as we take a very early break. Back with the champ holding a chinlock until Evan fights up and gets sent to the apron. A springboard cross body gets two on the champ but he sends Evan into the buckle to put him down again. Lenny’s rather suggestive cover gets two before he drops Evan with a gorilla press.

That’s about it for the offense though as a double clothesline puts both guys down. Evan makes his comeback but gets caught up top. The champ’s superplex attempt is quickly countered with a sitout superbomb for no cover. That might be a good thing as it would make Evan look pretty lame to not be able to pin Lenny after a spot that big. He heads up top again but Lodi finally does something by tripping him to the mat to give Lenny a two count. Back up and Evan dropkicks the brothers together for two. Lodi gets back up so Lenny catapults Evan into him, setting up the Skull Crushing Finale to retain.

Rating: C. You know, Lenny isn’t that bad in the ring. Yeah he’s a Chris Jericho look-a-like and has a gimmick that had to be toned WAY down, but his matches are far from horrible. The division is starting to round back into some form (albeit not quite its previous glory but that’s not fair to ask) and beating Lane might be a big deal when it happens.

We see Hammer’s challenge for the US Champion from earlier tonight.

US Title: Sid Vicious vs. Booker T.

Booker is challenging but comes out alone while Sid has Steiner in his corner. Nick Patrick comes out and won’t let Charles Robinson referee the match. If Robinson is this corrupt, how does he still have a job? Granted I could say that about so many people in WCW that this really shouldn’t surprise me. Robinson stays at ringside as Booker hammers on Sid but charges into an elbow in the corner, knocking him out to the floor. Booker kicks him into the crowd and is getting in more offense than anyone has on Sid in weeks. By that I mean a few shots of course because Sid is a STAR.

They fight into the crowd and it’s the walking around the arena style. Back to ringside with Sid in control and dropping Booker across the barricade. The fans chant for Goldberg but he’s too important to appear on this show. Steiner gets in some cheap shots but Booker comes back with some kicks to the champ. Sid of course no sells but is nice enough to stay down for two off a missile dropkick, only to have Steiner pull Patrick to the floor. Robinson comes in, along with Steiner, as Sid chokeslams Booker, setting up a double powerbomb to retain the title.

Rating: D. Grumble grumble, star power, grumble grumble, Sid and Steiner are old. This was actually a bit better than most Sid matches as Booker was able to carry things far better than most of his opponents. However, Booker was never a real threat and the three villains made sure of it. Sid popping up after the ax kick really doesn’t surprise me but it still gets annoying in a hurry.

Sid yells for Goldberg to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show was a bit better than usual, but it’s still nothing I’d want to see. The stories have thankfully calmed down after all those months of horrid, but that still doesn’t help the mostly below average wrestling. We’re just waiting on the guys to start tearing the house down but there’s always something holding them back. Once they finally just start letting these stories go somewhere, WCW could potentially get hot again. That’s one of the things that makes their downfall so frustrating: there are ways around some of the problems (not all of them of course) but they just kept wasting the potential.

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Monday Nitro – August 2, 1999: Heaven Help Me. And WCW.

Monday Nitro #199
Date: August 2, 1999
Location: Sioux Falls Arena, Sioux Falls, South Dakota
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Scott Hudson

I’m really starting to feel sorry for the wrestlers in this company. They have to work hard and try to carry this show to something resembling wrestling while the old guard just won’t shut up and get out of the way. There’s room for the older generation in a company because the young guys have no credibility without wins over established names, but there comes a point where it’s time to pass the torch. Unfortunately that was well over a year ago. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s main event stuff in case you’re having a hard time staying awake this week.

Recap of Hogan vs. Nash with Goldberg basically as a plot device.

We see Harlem Heat reuniting on Thunder.

Harlem Heat vs. Kanyon/Bam Bam Bigelow

Non-title with Page not in wrestling gear. Before the match he makes more your mama jokes about Benoit. He goes one step further though by saying David Flair is a better US Champion than Benoit could ever be. Oh you know it’s on now. Well at least Harlem Heat’s music is on, minus the pyro. Also in an amusing bit: Booker told Stevie to take off the black and white to reform the team. Naturally tonight, they’re in black and white.

Page leaves so Booker and Kanyon can have a Raise the Roof contest. Booker cranks on the arm and nails a dropkick before it’s off to his brother. Kanyon is mediocrekicked outside and Bigelow comes in for a power brawl. It’s Bigelow hammering him down until Stevie actually blocks a suplex and takes Bigelow over with one of his own. Booker and Kanyon come back in to try and make this a bit more interesting. Seriously if you have those two in a match, why would you ever let it be Stevie vs. Bigelow?

Anyway, Bigelow offers a distraction so Kanyon can poke Booker in the eye. Another suplex puts Booker down and Bigelow adds the top rope headbutt for two. It’s not quite Benoit, but then again maybe Bigelow’s mama was worse than Chris’. Booker fights up again and hammers away before nailing the flying forearm.

The hot tag brings in Stevie for big boots all around as the fans just not care. Everything breaks down and Stevie breaks up Greetings From Asbury Park. Not a Springsteen fan I guess. The Harlem Sidekick sends Kanyon to the floor and Booker goes up top, only to have Page come out and get on the apron. This brings out Benoit for a save, allowing Booker to dropkick Kanyon for the pin.

Rating: C+. This one is a mixed bag for me as the match was a nice change of pace from the stuff I’ve been sitting through lately, but at the same time I’m really not liking the idea that Booker T. is back in the same tag team he was stuck in for about four years. Harlem Heat used to be great, but I really don’t want to see the team again in late 1999.

Booker is the guy that should be the US Champion, but instead we’re sitting through an angle designed to make Ric look corrupt, even though he doesn’t have the power anymore. Is there a reason why Sting hasn’t done something about that yet? Does WCW even know that Sting has been in charge for like two weeks now? If they do, why hasn’t he like, done something yet?

Benoit wants a match later with Page.

Lenny and Lodi ask Ernest where he shops. Because they’re gay you see and gay men like to shop. HAVE THEY MADE IT CLEAR TO YOU THAT THEY’RE GAY YET??? I DON’T KNOW IF THEY’VE BEATEN IT OVER YOUR HEAD ENOUGH YET SO I THOUGHT I MIGHT SHOUT TO GET IT INTO YOUR HEAD SOME MORE! Did I mention this story is getting on my nerves?

Opening sequence.

Chad Brock will be performing next week. I don’t know who he is either.

Here’s President Sting with something to say. He wants Sid and Steiner out here tonight but needs a partner. The fans chant for Goldberg and Sting seems to think that’s quite a jolly idea. He’ll be back here at 9pm to get Goldberg’s answer.

Sonny and the Cat (sounds like a 1970s Saturday morning cartoon show) come out to rip on Buff’s bunny slippers deal last week. Tonight he’s going to whip someone without his red slippers, so he wants Lenny and Lodi out here right now. If they show up, he’ll tell them where he shops. Apparently this is a match.

The Cat vs. Lenny Lane/Lodi

They’re now wearing glitter and sucking on lollipops. Miller rams their heads together to start and throws Lodi to the floor before beating on Lenny. Lane goes outside as well and we have a chase involving Onoo. Back in and a pair of Feliners drop the brothers so Miller can pin Lane.

Ok, time to pause for a second. Let’s take a look at this. We have two men who are apparently gay, even though I don’t think it’s actually been said yet. On top of that, they follow almost every gay stereotype in the book, ranging from bright clothing to glitter to shopping. Then apparently they’re stupid enough that Miller can beat them both up in less than two minutes because they’re weak fighters. Oh and they’re brothers because why not make an incest joke too.

What in the world is the point of this storyline? If there’s any reason behind it other than to make fun of gay people, I certainly can’t see it. I tend to think that a lot of official statements and complaints from groups due to something they find offensive are stupid and a case where they need to just grow thicker skin, but this deserved every single lawsuit, complaint and raking over the coals that WCW got.

Compare them to the version that came three years later: Billy and Chuck. Now I’m not saying Billy and Chuck were some great leap forward for gay rights, but they were done roughly 19,000% better than Lenny and Lodi. To begin with, they won the Smackdown Tag Team Titles twice. In other words, they actually WON something. Have Lenny and Lodi won a single match between the two of them since this story started?

On top of that, and most importantly of all, they weren’t treated as something horrible and worthless. Yeah they were played for comedy, but the comedy felt much more lighthearted with them. Lenny and Lodi are seemingly getting beaten up because they’re easy targets. Billy and Chuck came off as stupid, but harmless for the most part. This story though comes off as offensive, low brow and really, really hateful. I could have gone with this story until they were suddenly brothers, because that changed this from something amusing to WCW trying to shock people and get a rise out of them.

Here’s Gene, who suddenly loves Hogan again. Okerlund always was a fickle guy. Anyway here’s Hogan in the black and white and a necklace made of paperclips (seriously) but minus the beard. Apparently the chicks have been all over him since he shaved. Sounding like Hulk instead of Hollywood, he talks about bleeding last week and how the cameras had to pan away before kids got scared. Oh come on that cut was so lame that even the Maryland State Athletic Commission wouldn’t have stopped the match. Anyway, Nash is a woman and Hogan is SHOOTING. Nash can have his title shot tonight if he wants one.

Sting comes out to get Goldberg’s answer. We see Goldberg looking at a clock and heading towards the ring, only to run into Rick Steiner before he gets through the curtain. Steiner lures him into a room where Sid is waiting with a snow shovel. Goldberg gets blasted in the head a few times but Sting runs into the back.

This goes as well as you would think it would as Sid and Steiner beat Sting down as well before dragging him back to the ring. Sting fights back but eats a chokeslam, only to have Goldberg run out for the save. You would think a SNOW SHOVEL TO THE BACK from a 6’10 300+lb monster would have more effect than it did in Home Alone but whatever. Goldberg wants to fight and I think we have our main event. This was actually a really well done segment and set up the match quite well. Unfortunately the match is going to be a disaster but the build was good.

Evan Karagias vs. Disco Inferno

Karagias speeds things up to start with some hiptosses and dropkicks. You can tell there’s something here as the announcers actually stop prattling on about the main event to hype Evan. Of course as they do that, Disco comes back with his usual barrage of clotheslines and atomic drops, followed by a middle rope forearm to the face for two. A second attempt misses though and Evan comes back with some right hands and a powerslam. Evan grabs a nice snap suplex but Disco actually uses his experience to hold the ropes to avoid a dropkick. The Last Dance is enough for the pin.

Rating: C. Hokey smoke that was actually entertaining while it lasted. It’s so rare for a match like this to have some thought put into it. Yeah it’s a basic story with Evan being full of fire but Disco using his experience to catch him trying for one too many moves, but the fact that there’s something to a match this short says a lot. I’ve said it time and time again: when you cut out all the nonsense and over thinking of a match and just let guys tell a story, it’s going to be entertaining because most wrestlers on this level are talented enough to make a match work.

Torrie thinks David should only have to defend the title when he feels like it because he’s already beaten everyone. Ok then.

Video on David Flair’s US Title reign.

KISS is here in three weeks.

Nitro Girls.

Sid says…..something in a whisper that I couldn’t understand other than the word Goldberg.

Hugh Morrus/Jerry Flynn vs. Dean Malenko/Shane Douglas

The youth movement is officially dubbed the Revolution. Dean tries a Cloverleaf in the first ten seconds but Morrus makes a fast save. The Revolution quickly clears the ring and stands tall. Well not really but you get the idea. Back in and it’s Morrus gorilla pressing Shane, which I’m sure is Ric Flair’s fault somehow. Shane escapes and dropkicks Hugh down, but that’s enough wrestling for Shane so it’s back to Malenko for a rollup.

Apparently Dean isn’t cool with Shane showing up and jumping into this group with people who have put up with WCW’s nonsense so he tags him right back in. Hugh nails a clothesline but takes too long loading up No Laughing Matter, allowing Shane to slam him down. A double tag brings in Malenko to hammer away on Flynn, only to take another clothesline. Jimmy Hart gets involved by tripping Malenko to the mat before Flynn starts kicking.

We run through the gauntlet of all the standard face in peril spots from the sunset flip broken up by a tag, the referee not seeing the tag and the heels taking turns with really basic moves. Flynn misses his 495th kick of the match and Dean dives over to make the tag. Douglas cleans house with right hands and a powerslam on Flynn for two. Everything breaks down and the Pittsburgh Plunge is enough to pin Jerry.

Rating: D+. Sweet they have a really simple name now and they even beat a nothing tag team! Clearly they’re ready to move to the top of the company and take over the industry. This push seems to be too little too late as we had to sit through Bagwell’s push just dying and the Triad going over the Revolution time after time, save for I think a three day title reign for Benoit and Saturn. At the end of the day, these guys could light the world on fire but it’s never going to matter because WCW is too busy booking musical acts for the show instead of paying attention to guys working hard to entertain the people.

Malenko takes the Hardcore Trophy from Hart and says he’s bringing this back to Fit Finlay where it belongs.

Speaking of the musical acts, KISS is still coming in three weeks.

Goldberg Megadeath video.

Nitro Girls.

In a bizarre segment, Rick Steiner comes out, throws Scott Hudson into the ring for a belly to belly, and is taken out by security as we take a break.

We come back with Bischoff joining commentary as Hudson is taken into an ambulance. Great, now we get another hour and a half of Bischoff babbling about doing the right thing, which makes me think of Stephanie McMahon’s stupid interviews where she just goes on and on about whatever her latest endeavor is and how important it is while no one else in the world has any idea or cares what the heck she’s talking about.

Sturn comes out for his match and Bischoff immediately starts talking about how Saturn and the Revolution will be taking the company into the next generation. I’m sure that’s why you booked Bagwell vs. Piper in a freaking boxing match a few weeks back and are giving us Hogan vs. Nash at Road Wild while the Revolution doesn’t actually have a match announced.

As if that wasn’t enough, Hennig comes out before the match and rips on Chad Brock for not being a real country singer. So the Revolution can’t get a feud but the freaking country singer can get one? Again, you can see why this company is about to die from here. Maybe Benoit and company should put out a record and get on the radio if they want a spot in the main event. Or they should stop having good matches and turn 40.

Anyway Hennig sends Duncum in to fight and Saturn plants him with a Death Valley Driver immediately. Saturn wants Hennig in there right now because he isn’t a real cowboy. Time for a replacement match.

Saturn vs. Curt Hennig

Saturn is all over him like over the hill wrestlers on an episode of Nitro and quickly knocks him into the corner for some right hands to the face. Possibly too drunk to feel pain, Hennig knocks him out of the corner and nails a quick neck snap. Curt hits his knee lift as Bischoff talks about Hennig in the WWF for no apparent reason. A low blow puts Saturn back down (just make them legal. I don’t remember the last week that went by without one of those happening.) but he rips Curt’s shirt off. Back up and Saturn nails a quick spinwheel kick and the Death Valley Driver but the Windhams run in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was just story development as I’m assuming we’re setting up the Rednecks vs. the Revolution at Road Wild. That being said, it really wasn’t the best match in the world but again, that’s due to the lack of time. I kind of which they could have taken out Kendall Windham instead of Duncum because Bobby actually has some potential rather than just a famous last name, but this went five minutes and didn’t manage to bury any talent or put the first 20 rows to sleep so they’re improving.

The Rednecks try to tie Saturn up but the rest of the Revolution comes in for the save.

Video of Benoit getting screwed out of the US Title last week.

Chris Benoit vs. Diamond Dallas Page

All this over a your mama joke. They spit at each other to start until Page nails him in the ribs and grabs a quick belly to back suplex. Benoit will not be outsuplexed by anyone so he slaps on the Crossface, sending Page scurrying to the floor. Back in and Page nails a quick neckbreaker but the Diamond Cutter is stopped and Benoit grabs the snap suplex.

Remember a year and a half back when these two and Raven were tearing up the midcard over the US Title? Well now Benoit is still the same guy he was before and Page has just been going through the motions for months now, basically wasting all of his time built up as a top guy. Anyway Page elbows him in the face and hits that very nice helicopter bomb (that should be a finisher. It worked in No Mercy so it works in real life) for two.

Another low blow keeps Benoit in trouble and a spinebuster gets yet another two. Page goes up top for the sole purpose of getting crotched and superplexed to put both guys down again. Benoit rolls some Germans but, say it with me, Page hits him low to escape. A Rock Bottom gets two for Page but Benoit plants him with a DDT. The Swan Dive connects as David Flair comes out, only to get knocked off the apron. The distraction lets Page grab a rollup but Benoit reverses into one of his own for the pin.

Rating: C+. Pretty good, hard hitting match here as Benoit gets a pin over a former World Champion. Like I said it’s a far cry from their great US Title match on Thunder the previous year, but it’s always good to see Benoit get something like this. It wasn’t even that overbooked with just the Flair interference near the end. Now if only Benoit gets to keep this momentum going.

And of course it lasts all of 8 seconds as Benoit eats a two Diamond Cutters plus one off the top as the Triad comes in. David taunts Benoit with the belt, apparently continuing their…..I’m not sure what to call it because a three minute beating with a screwy ending doesn’t sound like much of a feud.

Here’s Savage on his own to talk to Okerlund. He’s suspended his campaign for President (oh darn the luck) because he has to hurt Hulk Hogan, Kevin Nash and Dennis Rodman. He wants Rodman out here right now but gets the former Miss Madness instead. Mona begs to be back on his team again so Savage shoves her down to her knees. Savage looks at her and says she’s still fired.

Cue Rodman with the No Limit Soldiers and oh dear goodness why are they mixing these stories? Rodman says George is his now, presumably because once you’ve gone black you never go back. Rodman: “Once you go black, you never go back.” Mona hits Savage low and Rodman comes in for the same offense he had back in 1997 and the fans love it as we go to a break.

Why are these two feuding? That’s a serious question. One night Savage just started talking trash about Rodman and now we’re watching this mess every week. As has been my issue for months, why isn’t this ANY ACTIVE WCW WRESTLER fighting Savage and getting this rub by association? It worked wonders for Page last year but now it’s all about Dennis Rodman for the short term celebrity moment. If nothing else, have some young guy fight with Rodman. Also, who am I supposed to cheer for here? The kidnapper or the woman beater?

Vampiro vs. Eddie Guerrero

Vampiro has Raven and the Clowns with him. It’s amusing hearing Heenan talk about the Insane Clown Posse when he clearly has no idea who they are and would love to rip on them if not for Bischoff sitting next to him. Eddie stomps him into the corner to start as Bischoff tries to apologize for the comments made in the previous segment. I’d prefer he just apologize for the previous segment but I’d rather not hear him talk about doing the right thing again.

A clothesline turns Vampiro inside out but Raven trips Eddie up to take over. Eddie is sent outside and knocks a cameraman over as the Clowns get in some cheap shots. They whip him into the steps before Vampiro and Eddie trade chops back inside. Vampiro gets armdragged off the top and dropkicked over the top, only Shaggy. Eddie hits a great looking dive to put them down again but Raven shoves him off the top, setting up the Nail in the Coffin for the pin.

Rating: C-. Good grief stop with the celebrities! We have Brock, Rodman and the Clowns all on the show plus KISS coming in to perform in a few weeks and getting two separate videos so far tonight. They have such a huge roster but insist on bringing in those people to keep taking spots and going further and further into the hole against Raw. But hey, Bischoff is saying how great the Revolution is so that has to mean something right?

The Clowns beat Eddie down post match but Mysterio comes out for the save.

Berlyn is coming. I actually liked that character.

Hogan comes out for commentary with Bischoff. Oh this is going to hurt.

Sid/Rick Steiner vs. Goldberg/Sting

Hogan’s first gem is about wanting to pass the torch to Sting. There’s a LONG rant about Starrcade 1997 in there but I want to get this over with. It’s a big brawl on the floor to start until Sting suplexes Sid over the top and back into the ring. That lasts all of four seconds before they head back outside and switch things up. I guess these old guys can’t handle having a match at this point. Steiner sends Sting into the buckles back inside before tagging Sid in as the match actually gets going.

Sting takes his second chokeslam of the night but Goldberg makes a fast save. That’s enough for Sting to start a comeback but a splash on the mat hits knees. Sid’s legdrop hits the mat though and Sting loads up the Scorpion, only to have Steiner break it up. Everything breaks down again with Goldberg being sent to the apron. Naturally it’s time to cheat but Hogan takes a chair from Rick and blasts him in the head with it, drawing a DQ.

Rating: D. Standard angle disguised as a wrestling match here with Goldberg never actually tagging in. It’s a shame that the main event is being hogged by these guys but that’s a broken record at this point. This is clearly setting up a big six man followed by three singles matches at the PPV. In other words, Goldberg went from World Champion to gone for months to the TV Title against Rick Steiner while Hogan and Nash have the main event title program because Nash felt like turning heel. This really shouldn’t surprise you.

Cue Nash to powerbomb Hogan through the announcers’ table to end the show. It’s a good thing there were no monitors on the table and that it was clearly gimmicked.

Overall Rating: C-. I hate to admit it but they’re getting a little better. Maybe I’m just numb to how bad WCW is at this point but I didn’t hate this episode. I hated things about it but the wrestling was mostly fine and the stories actually advanced. Granted the stories are mostly about the celebrities and old people but they are indeed advancing. At this point it’s more that you have to just accept what you’re given with WCW because the chances of them getting it right get weaker and weaker every week.

The Revolution stuff continues to frustrate me every week. You can see them chomping at the bit to take over, but they’re clearly running on a treadmill, perpetually stuck being the guys waiting to take over instead of ever actually taking over. Those spots are saved for the guys that were draws before and will be draws in the future because once you’re a draw, you’re ALWAYS a draw, but apparently you can’t become a draw for some reason. Even Goldberg, who was the hottest guy in the world not named Austin last year, is looking more like a catalyst to get to the real main event of Hogan vs. Nash. Better but still weak show here.

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