Monday Nitro #94
Date: June 30, 1997
Location: MGM Grand Garden Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko

This is probably a bigger show than the PPV from earlier in the month, or at least it’s being treated as such. There are two major debuts tonight and apparently Hogan is going to be here too. Other than that, the card is pretty much stacked with a lot of big names in action. This arena would host a bunch of PPVs so it has a big show feeling to it. Let’s get to it.

Tony does a quick intro and it’s off to Gene who brings out Naitch. Before Flair can talk we hear Piper’s music but instead it’s two women carrying a Piper mannequin. Flair starts to talk but the girls drop the mannequin. Apparently this is all that’s left of Piper after the girls had him all night long. One girl isn’t sure why Piper is called Hot Rod, because he isn’t hot. Oh these are Flair chicks for sure.

Flair says Piper crossed the line last week when Piper tried to tell Flair how to wrestle. That’s what he said? Thanks for clearing it up. Gene asks the girls if Flair is really the sixty minute man. Girl: “More like 30 seconds.” Flair immediately picks up the kilt and pretends he didn’t hear that line. He holds a funeral for Piper and the girls take Gene’s clothes off. He says his mother in law is watching so Flair struts a bit. This heel turn by Flair was way out there and it didn’t work on most levels.

The announcers tell us about Jericho winning the Cruiserweight Title two nights ago and then it’s right back to talking about Flair, who faces Piper at the PPV.

Cruiserweight Title: Juventud Guerrera vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho is defending his newly won title. That’s probably the biggest win WCW has had over the NWO to date. They trade wristlocks to start but no one can get control. Jericho hooks a bow and arrow hold on the mat followed by a headlock. Juvy tries a moonsault but misses Jericho, who hits a belly to back suplex for two. A regular suplex gets two as well and Guerrera is put in the Tree of Woe followed by a baseball slide.

Jericho walks into an elbow but Juvy misses a springboard dropkick to put him right back down. Jericho misses a charge and hits the floor, where Juvy hits a HUGE dive to take him out. A release German suplex by Jericho sets up a double powerbomb but it only gets two. Instead it’s the super Frankensteiner by Jericho into the Liontamer for the submission win to retain the title.

Rating: C. This was basically a squash with Juvy being a jobber out there. Jericho winning the title was a big shock but to their credit it felt like a big deal. Guerrera was good at what he did and would become one of the best in the division for years to come. I was kind of surprised by how one sided this was but it wasn’t bad at all.

Post match Gene comes in to talk to Jericho and Chris puts the title on Gene’s shoulder. There’s an image for you. Jericho says this is a WCW belt and it’s back where it belongs. Syxx comes out and says the NWO still recognizes him as champion. He says Jericho can have another match for the title right now, and a brawl breaks out. Post break security pulls them apart and Alex Wright is in the aisle. He’s tired of not getting interviews and not getting title shots. Wright says he has a better body than Luger and that’s it.

Dean Malenko vs. Eddie Guerrero

Eddie jumps Dean as he’s coming through the entrance and rams him into the steps. They head into the ring as we hear about Los Gringos Locos, Eddie’s team with Art Barr in Mexico. Dean is in trouble as the bell rings and Eddie suplexes him down. A back elbow puts Dean down but the slingshot hilo misses and Eddie is sent to the apron. Guerrero goes up and gets crotched followed by having his tornado DDT countered.

Eddie gets launched face first into the buckle and a backbreaker gets two for Dean. A WICKED powerbomb puts Eddie down but Dean wants to beat on him more instead of pin him. Here’s Chavo to ringside and then to the apron as Malenko is loading up the Cloverleaf. Eddie shoves Dean into Chavo, followed by the brainbuster and Frog Splash for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was more about storytelling than the match, but the match wasn’t half bad. These two have been going after each other for weeks and it’s a good idea to have the first match end with some questionable means. It continues the story and was good at the same time. What more could you possibly want?

Mysterio is with Gene and says that he’s tired of being pushed around by Nash and the Wolfpac. It started when he was launched like a dart into a trailer and then powerbombed during his match with Syxx. Rey wants a match with Nash and the big man comes out to laugh and accept the challenge.

Here are Bischoff and Hogan with something to say. Eric is on a motorcycle because he enjoys being on them. Hogan talks about beating down all of their enemies and partying with Rodman (not here) later tonight. The party is the highlight of the interview. Pretty much Hogan had nothing to say here.

TV Title: Hector Garza vs. Steven Regal

Regal is defending, in case someone actually needs clarification. Regal, now in a singlet, tries to take Garza down with a Boston Crab to start. When that doesn’t work, Regal pounds away in the corner to take over. Garza comes back with a forearm but Regal takes him back down and struts a bit.

They head to the floor for a second which goes nowhere so Garza low bridges him back to the floor. Garza loads up the Corkscrew Plancha and we go wide to get a better look at it. This is a bad idea as Garza COMPLETELY misses Regal, barely grazing the champ’s shins. Back in and a moonsault hits Regal’s knees and the Regal Stretch retains the title.

Rating: C-. This was a fine enough way to kill off six minutes I guess but there’s nothing to it beyond that. Garza was about as much of a one move guy as you could possibly have and when that one move looked bad in a match, there wasn’t much else he could do. One thing you did get almost every week was a random pairing like this. There’s nothing wrong with that because you can throw something out there and see what works. If it doesn’t, you lose six minutes and that’s it. WWE seems to be trying this with Cesaro lately and it’s a good idea.

The Steiners want their match with the Outsiders accepted tonight. Didn’t they already win the #1 contendership? Why would they need a match to be accepted? This brings out the NWO en masse. Hall says he has a contract right now and the Steiners sign it without reading it. The contract says that the Steiners have to beat Chono and Muta before they get their shot. I’m sure THAT will be the last match before the title match right?

Super Calo vs. Psychosis

Calo knocks him to the floor and Psychosis stalls a bit. Sonny Onoo, Psychosis’ manager, distracts Calo and Psychosis takes over. Back in and Calo powerslams him down but gets enziguried to the floor. Psychosis goes up but missed a double ax handle, landing face first on the barricade. FREAKING OW MAN! Calo suplexes him back in as they try to do the Warrior/Rude finish from Mania 5, but Sonny misses the foot, making Calo look completely inept. Too short to rate but it was pretty pedestrian stuff.

Post match Calo beats down Psychosis but La Parka comes out and breaks a wooden chair over Calo’s back for the second time. Juventud Guerrera comes out for the save.

Hour #2 starts.

Steve McMichael/Ric Flair/Chris Benoit vs. Buff Bagwell/Masahiro Chono/Scott Norton

Bagwell and Flair start things off and we get a strutting competition. Buff pounds on Flair in the corner and it’s off to Mongo who has a dumb look on his face. Mongo gets caught in the wrong corner but he comes back with right hands to Chono. Back to Flair who pounds away for about five seconds before Benoit comes in to a nice reaction. Chono kicks him down but stops to argue with Flair, allowing Benoit to clothesline Chono down and hit the Swan Dive. Everything breaks down and Vincent comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here as the whole match wasn’t even four minutes long and had the NWO DQ as required by WCW law. Also I’m not sure what was accomplished here at all, but on a shot this big I can understand the matches being this short. It isn’t fun to sit through but it’s understandable.

High Voltage vs. Mortis/Wrath

Wrath pounds on Kaos in the corner and things break down in about twenty seconds. A top rope clothesline puts Kaos down and the squash is on. Glacier and Miller come to ringside and the distraction draws Wrath to the floor, allowing Cat (Miller) to kick Mortis in the face and give High Voltage the big upset.

A limo is in the back. Presumably this is the impact player. The door opens, the camera zooms in on it, and the door closes.

Road Report.

Raven is in the front row and the announcers all know who he is. He’s mentioned as a champion from elsewhere but ECW isn’t mentioned by name of course. Tenay thinks he might be the Impact Player or Page’s mystery partner.

US Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Konnan

I think this is for the title but I’m not sure. Jeff pounds him down to start but misses an enziguri, allowing Konnan to hit a low dropkick to take over. Jarrett comes back with a DDT but Konnan takes it to the mat and hooks a kind of abdominal stretch on the mat. Konnan loads up a Figure Four but a rake to the eyes breaks it up. Here come the Horsemen who distract Konnan and allow Jeff to take the knee out and put on the Figure Four….which is almost immediately turned over. Jeff turns it back over and Flair helps Jeff with some extra leverage for the tap out.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here again with another match feeling like pure filler. I just hope this doesn’t lead to more problems for the Horsemen as that story has been going on for about a year now. Jarrett never clicked at all in WCW and he felt forced in there as a Horseman. How many US Title shots is Konnan going to get anyway?

Post match Jeff brags about everyone he’s beaten but Flair says Jarrett is off the team. Halle-freaking-lujah. Jarrett says you can’t do that. Flair is like dude, I’m Ric Flair. Debra runs her mouth for a bit and Jarrett says he’s going to put Flair out. Benoit talks about how Jarrett blew his chance. This didn’t make a ton of sense, but anything that gets Jarrett out of the Horsemen is cool with me.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Kevin Nash

Rey goes right at him and takes Nash down, but a sunset flip goes about as badly as you would expect it to for Mysterio. Nash LAUNCHES Mysterio across the ring and the Jackknife ends this quick. So Mysterio stands up to the NWO and is promptly destroyed. Thanks for wasting our time on that guys.

Nash drops Mysterio again and hits the referee too. Konnan comes out as Nash powerbombs Rey a third time. Nash leaves and Konnan puts on the Tequila Sunrise, apparently joining the NWO. Mysterio is taken out on a stretcher.

Tenay goes to talk to Raven but Raven won’t say anything.

Diamond Dallas Page/Lex Luger/The Giant vs. Randy Savage/Outsiders

Main event time. We take a break before the match starts and come back to see the NWO still not letting WCW in, just like what we saw before the break. Luger and Giant finally get in and the match gets going. Page goes right for Savage and WCW rules the ring to start. Hall gets in a shot on Luger, and according to wrestling law, the rest of the NWO takes over at the exact same time. All six guys are still in the ring and I don’t think we’ve had a bell yet.

Savage and Page fight to the floor before getting right back into the ring. We still haven’t had two people alone in the ring yet. Luger goes down so Giant headbutts both Outsiders down at the same time. Giant charges at them both but gets backdropped to the floor. Here comes Hogan and Page Diamond Cuts Savage. Hogan blasts Luger with the belt on the floor and apparently he took Giant out with it earlier. Page gets beaten down and I think the match is thrown out. It never started I don’t think so I won’t rate it, but it was just a big brawl anyway.

The NWO destroys Page as Hogan walks around on the floor. Savage hits a second elbow and Sting is in the crowd. Savage hits a third elbow and another Sting drops in from the rafters. Hogan bails and Sting clears the ring. Curt Hennig walks down the aisle and the show ends with him doing nothing at all. Raven jumps the guardrail, which is some of the only main event interaction I ever remember him having in WCW.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a back and forth show. It feels like a big show for sure, given all of the matches they had on here and some of the stuff they had going on, but nothing on here is anything more than ok from a quality standpoint. That being said, we had a lot of stuff on here and it certainly feels like a big show, which is what they were shooting for. The ending looks really interesting, but the important question is how will they follow up on it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Nitro #92
Date: June 16, 1997
Location: United Center, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 16,500
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

First and foremost, this would have been my mom’s birthday so happy birthday to her. Other than that we’re past the Great American bash and we’re heading for Bash at the Beach. Nothing significant came out of last night’s show other than Savage evening the feud with Page by pinning him. The Outsiders kept the belts (of course) and other than that we’re pretty much in the same place we were before the show last night. Let’s get to it.

The NWO arrives in the back to open the show. Rodman is here with them tonight and we’re in the town of the team he plays for. I wonder who is going to get the loudest cheers tonight. We get a long tracking show that takes us from their car arriving to them coming into the arena. Bischoff, Hogan and Rodman get into the ring with Eric bowing down to them. Hogan laughs at Luger and Giant for wanting to face them at the Bash. Hulk does his normal trash talking and Rodman sounds like an intoxicated non-wrestler trying to fire up a crowd which happens to love him. That’s about it.

The announcers talk about the PPV last night a bit.

Mortis vs. Glacier

The brawl starts on the floor before the bell with Glacier being sent into the barricade. Mortis tries a Fameasser on the steps but Glacier pulls him down onto them instead. They head inside and slug it out with Mortis taking over. Wrath comes out and Mortis hits a Fameasser off the middle rope for two. Mortis gets sent into Wrath and a superkick gives Glacier the pin.

Wrath comes in for a beatdown along with Mortis until Ernest Miller makes the save…..again. Security comes in to take Miller out but Glacier says no.

Here’s Madusa who lost a title vs. career match last night. She says goodbye and no one cares. Seriously, NO ONE cares. Why did she keep getting air time?

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Dean Malenko

This is happening because Eddie Guerrero cost Dean the US Title last week. Dean calls out Eddie but gets Chavo instead. Dean is fine with this and stomps Chavo down in the corner. Chavo comes back with a dropkick and some European uppercuts but Dean will have none of that. He swats away a dropkick and we head to the floor so Dean can work on the knee a bit.

Chavo comes back with a sunset flip for two and Malenko is getting mad. A suplex gets two for Dean but instead of a good cover he looks around for Eddie. They try Dean’s tilt-a-whirl into the tombstone but slip into a kind of powerslam instead. Dean loads up the Cloverleaf for the submission as Eddie comes out to watch on the stage.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here but it was far more about the storyline than the match itself. Chavo didn’t mean anything yet and wouldn’t for a few more years. Eddie vs. Dean is one of those feuds that works almost no matter why they’re fighting. It would wind up being great but Rey would get involved with them soon enough.

Eddie leaves after just looking at the ring.

Flair was on WCW’s website earlier today.

Super Calo vs. La Parka

This is because of last week where La Parka attacked Calo with a chair after the six man tag. La Parka immediately charges at him but misses a dropkick in the corner. He runs Calo over with a clothesline and gets two off a kick to the chest. Calo comes back with a flipping armdrag to send Parka to the floor, followed by a flip dive that lands Calo in the crowd. Back in and Parka kicks the leg out from under Calo and puts him in the Tree of Woe. After taking him down, a flipping dive misses Calo and a headscissors takes La Parka down for the unlikely pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here but when you have Rey and Dean and Eddie, it’s kind of hard to get fired up for Super Calo and La Parka. This wasn’t bad or anything but it’s nothing of note at all. Calo was basically the cruiserweight jobber while Parka was the big cruiserweight who never did anything.

La Parka breaks a plastic chair over his head post match.

Here are Luger and the Giant for a chat. Luger talks about how Hogan and Rodman are too cocky but he made Hogan give up last week. Giant wants to hurt Rodman and Hogan. Luger wants to do it tonight.

Harlem Heat vs. Amazing French Canadians

We get the Canadian national anthem jazz before the match but the Canadians use the distraction to jump the Heat. Harlem Heat won the #1 contendership last night by beating the Steiners. Booker gets hot shotted to start and it’s Jacques vs. Booker to get us going. Parker and Sherri get into it on the floor and Oullette hits a splash in the corner on Booker.

An odd looking middle rope elbow gets two for the former Qubecers and it’s off to Jacques. Booker gets in a side kick on Oullette and it’s off to Stevie. Parker loses a boot somewhere in there as the Heat hit the Heat Bomb (powerbomb by Ray/elbow from Booker) but Jacques makes the save with the boot. That gets two but the Big Apple (modified Hart Attack) pins Jacques soon afterwards.

Rating: D+. The French Canadians never meant anything in WCW and this would be their last match with the company. I don’t remember if the Heat ever got their shot but honestly I’d be stunned if they did. This was basically a long workout for the Heat which doesn’t make for an interesting match. Granted we’re about forty five minutes into this show and nothing interesting has happened yet.

JJ says that Hogan and Rodman will face Giant and Luger tonight. Harlem Heat come up and JJ says because of the interference last night, Harlem Heat don’t get the title shot. Next week it’s Steiners vs. Harlem Heat AGAIN for the title shot. Vincent, the guy that interfered last night, says that the interference was a gift from the NWO because the Outsiders would beat up Harlem Heat. Vincent gets destroyed and no one saves him.

Cruiserweight Title: Syxx vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

I’m assuming the title is on the line here, which means Rey is challenging. The Outsiders are here with Syxx. Syxx pounds away to start and after dropping Rey with a flapjack, it’s HOUR NUMBER TWO!!! A pair of fast legdrops hit Rey and Hall drops some ashes from his cigar on Mysterio’s neck. The Bronco Buster keeps Rey in trouble as this is one sided so far.

Mysterio comes back with a spin kick and hits a headscissors to take the champ down. Syxx is sent to the floor and Rey hits a flip dive off the top to take him out. Back in and Rey hits a top rope West Coast Pop but has to beat up the Outsiders. Syxx kicks his head off and the Buzz Killer gets the submission to retain the title.

Rating: C+. This is the best match of the show so far and much better than the other cruiserweight match. Mysterio was awesome when his knees weren’t falling apart and he had someone in the ring that could keep up with him. As soon as you saw the Outsiders out there though you knew the ending, which sums up Nitro in a nutshell.

The Outsiders kill Rey post match and get a mic. They talk about how they beat up Flair and Piper last night and keep smoking the cigars. Hall brings out Savage who also won last night. Savage brags about winning last night and praises Hogan a bit. Page and Kimberly pop up in the crowd and they bicker a bit. Page wants a tag match at Bash at the Beach. He has a mystery partner and tells Savage to get one of his own.

Ultimo Dragon vs. Chris Jericho

We’re told that Syxx is defending against Jericho on Saturday Night. Jericho turns down an offer from Sonny Onoo on the way to the ring. Things start very fast with Jericho taking him down with a shoulder and a leg drop gets two. Off to a surfboard hold by Jericho but Dragon comes back with the rapid fire kicks. Jericho dropkicks him to the floor and mostly misses a dropkick to the floor. They trade rollups back inside but Jericho counters a rana into the double powerbomb. More rollups are traded until the Tiger Suplex gets the pin for the Dragon.

Rating: C+. This was another fast paced match as the focus tonight has been on the cruiserweights. Jericho would get a lot better very soon while the Dragon would get the TV Title later on in the summer. The ending here was good stuff as they were moving around very fast with a bunch of near falls, which is always cool to see.

Road Report.

Piper has something to say now. He runs down Rodman, making him the biggest heel in the arena tonight. Piper complains about Flair leaving him in the tag match last night but he doesn’t believe Flair did it out of malice. He calls Flair out with Naitch confirming that he didn’t do it to hurt Piper. That’s it.

Scott Norton/Buff Bagwell vs. Jeff Jarrett/Steve McMichael

Mongo vs. Norton to start things off with Scott taking over with a corner splash. Mongo comes back with a bulldog and a three point clothesline. Off to the US Champion (Jarrett) who gets double teamed almost immediately. Jeff comes back with a dropkick to send Norton into the corner but walks into a bearhug. Off to Buff who runs his mouth a lot but gets caught in an atomic drop.

Jeff hits a swinging neckbreaker for no cover and won’t tag. A running crotch attack to Buff’s neck keeps him down but Jeff still won’t tag. Jeff hits a middle rope elbow but gets clotheslined down by Buff. Buff slaps the taste out of Mongo’s mouth which results in a Horsemen double team. Jarrett struts….and Mongo tombstones him, drawing a HUGE face pop. This is due to last night when Jarrett accidentally hit Mongo in his match with Greene. Bagwell gets the easy pin. Debra leaves with Mongo.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here as was the case with most Jarrett and Mongo matches of this era. They put the US Title on both guys and to the shock of no one payint attention, no one cared. Buff and Norton would wind up being the low level NWO tag team who went nowhere either.

Buy NWO shirts!

Hulk Hogan/Dennis Rodman vs. Lex Luger/The Giant

Rodman is holding the belt as they come out. Before the match, Hogan runs his mouth a bit about hanging with Savage in the back. Rodman says he’s ready so we take a break. Luger and Giant haven’t come out yet. Back from the break and there’s still no Luger or Giant. Rodman says they’re leaving but as they head up the aisle, here are Luger and Giant. Hogan and Rodman get back in the ring and it’s quickly a brawl. By brawl I mean Giant almost chokeslams Rodman until Hogan makes the save. Rodman hits Hogan with the belt and Hogan does the same to Luger. Here’s the Wolfpack for the big beatdown. No match.

The Outsiders and Syxx beat on both guys and Rodman spraypaints Giant. The ring fills up with trash and the NWO celebrates to end the show. No Sting.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t a very good show. The cruiserweight stuff was pretty good but it’s nothing of note. This was about setting up the tag match at Bash at the Beach but it’s another celebrity match, which hasn’t been any good the first two times, so why should I be interested in the third one? This wasn’t a particularly good show but I’ve seen far worse.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Nitro #91
Date: June 9, 1997
Location: Fleet Center, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Heenan

It’s the go home show for Great American Bash and Savage vs. Page II, which is a match that I actually want to see given the build that we’ve got. The other main match on Sunday is Hall/Nash defending against Flair/Piper. The main event of tonight’s show: Hall/Nash vs. Flair/Piper, although this one is non title. Other than that we’ve got Malenko defending the US Title against Jarrett and that’s about it. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video about Rodman and Hogan for Bash at the Beach before heading into the opening sequence.

Tony confirms that Rodman and Hogan will in fact be wrestling at Bash at the Beach and we’ll find out their opponents tonight.

We cut to the back where Savage and Liz are arriving but before Savage can get out of the car, DDP runs up and kicks the window in. Liz slams the door on Page’s ribs and jumps in so they can speed away.

Super Calo/Juventud Guerrerea/Ultimo Dragon vs. La Parka/Psychosis/Silver King

Psychosis vs. Calo to get us going but all six get in the ring before anything happens. It winds up as Psychosis vs. Dragon to start and the headstand into the headscissors by Dragon out of the corner doesn’t quite work. Going to the floor is just as good as a tag here so when those two hit the floor, it’s off to Calo vs. Parka. A headscissors out of the corner sends La Parka flying and Calo knocks him to the floor, followed by a slingshot Swanton Bomb to the floor.

It’s off to King vs. Juvy with Silver King superkicking Guerrera down. Back to Psychosis….who ignores being tagged for some reason. Guerrera hits a great hurricanrana and a HARD dropkick to the face. Tenay talks about Silver King’s famous father Dr. Wagner who Larry apparently fought. Juvy is sent to the floor and King tags out, bringing in Dragon vs. Psychosis but it’s quickly off to Juvy and La Parka again.

I can’t even keep up with how fast this match is going which is the right idea for something like this. Psychosis takes over on Calo and the fans start loudly chanting something that sounds like boring. I can’t believe that’s what they’re saying. Everything breaks down and Juvy hurricanranas King down.

We finally get down to Psychosis vs. Dragon with Dragon hitting a rana for two but Psychosis counters into a near fall of his own. Both guys get sent to the floor and it’s La Parka vs. King now. We unleash the dives with everyone hitting at least one. Dragon throws Psychosis back in for a super rana and the Dragon Sleeper for the submission.

Rating: C+. When you need something good to start a show, throw six cruiserweights out there and let them go nuts. That’s exactly what they did here and the fans (I hope) liked it quite a bit. This wasn’t a cliché yet so the idea of it was still appealing and fresh, much like the rest of WCW at this point.

La Parka attacks his opponents post match.

Here’s Luger for a chat. Luger and Giant (who apparently is in Germany tonight) have signed to face Rodman and Hogan at Bash at the Beach. They’re waiting on Hogan and Rodman to sign but there’s bigger news. Hogan hasn’t defended the title since February, so tonight it’s Luger vs. Hogan. Lex never says if the title is on the line or not.

Earlier today Piper and Flair arrived and they’re fired up about the match tonight.

Alex Wright vs. Chris Jericho

Feeling out process to start with Wright being sent to the apron where Jericho hits his springboard dropkick to send Alex to the floor. Back in and Wright stomps away in the corner followed by a suplex for no cover. Alex goes up and misses a knee drop, but he catches Jericho’s superkick in a dragon screw leg whip. A Vader Bomb gets two for Wright as does a sunset flip for Jericho.

Off to a chinlock by Wright but Jericho suplexes out of it. We head right back to the chinlock to kill some more time and Wright puts his feet on the ropes. Jericho fights up and hits a spin kick to the chest but Wright clotheslines him down for two. Off to a camel clutch which Jericho gets to the ropes to escape. The fans boo because a beach ball they have is taken away. My goodness you paid for tickets to a show and you have a freaking beach ball? I’ve never gotten the point of that. Jericho puts Wright in the Tree of Woe for a baseball slide followed by a cross body, but Wright rolls through and uses the ropes for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was a fairly long match for Nitro and it never got going. Wright was ok but when he lost the first match after his heel turn his whole new persona was broken. Also the announcers spent the first part of the match talking about how big a roll Jericho has been on due to some success in Japan, so they have him lose here? I’m not sure I get this.

Akira Hokuto vs. Malia Hosaka

Akira is Women’s Champion and has a title vs. career match vs. Madusa on Sunday. She’s a heel here because she has Sonny Onoo with her. Hokuto is receiving oxygen on the way to the ring. Akira jumps Hosaka to start and kicks at the ribs over and over. She bites Malia’s fingers for good measure which fires Hosaka up enough for an ax handle to the chest. A top rope cross body gets two on Akira but Hokuto comes back with a brainbuster out of nowhere for the fast pin. Basically a squash.

Hokuto gives her another brainbuster for good measure but Madusa comes out for the save with a few German supelxes.

Luger vs. Hogan is officially non-title. So what was the significance of pointing out that he hadn’t defended the title since February?

Here are the Steiners for a chat. Rick says they beat the NWO and now they have to prove themselves all over again. Scott says they’ll beat whoever they have to beat to get another title shot. This brings out Harlem Heat who says they should get a title shot. They’re fighting on Sunday but a brawl breaks out here.

Konnan vs. Steve McMichael

Kevin Greene jumps Mongo on the way to the ring but Mongo drops him throat first onto the barricade and walks away. Greene jumps Mongo again and the brawl is finally broken up. We cut back to the ring to see Konnan out cold with a broom broken next to him. That would imply Hugh Morrus who Konnan attacked with a broom last week. No match.

Here are Bischoff and Hogan with the latter in a sweet white NWO shirt. Bischoff tells JJ and WCW to bite him because Hogan isn’t getting in the ring until he’s ready. Hogan says he won’t wrestle tonight but he’ll pose a bit for the fans. Cue Luger who gets in the ring before Bischoff and Hogan can see him. Hogan gets in Luger’s face and says get out of here. Luger decks him and we have a referee and a bell.

Lex Luger vs. Hulk Hogan

Non-title. Luger forearms him to the floor and the NWO comes out for support. Hogan clotheslines Luger down and drops some elbows. The fans are on fire already which is something you can’t take away from Hogan: he got reactions that no one else in WCW could get. Luger forearms him down and we take a break.

Back with Hogan scratching Luger’s back as we start hour #2. Hogan clotheslines him down again and Luger is in trouble. A belly to back suplex puts Lex down for two but Hulk misses an elbow. Luger stops to beat up the Wolfpack and the Rack gets the submission on Hogan out of nowhere. This ran less than six minutes in total and we saw about two minutes of it.

The Wolfpack runs in immediately and crushes Luger. Hogan hits the legdrop….and the pyro goes off to start hour #2. They couldn’t do this thirty seconds earlier when Hogan was pinned in a shocking moment? Instead we wait for the guy that beat Hogan to get destroyed? It was THAT important? The beating goes on for awhile to make sure Hogan gets every single bit of his heat back. Hogan lays on the mat and brags to Rodman about being awesome.

Here’s JJ in the ring to say that Savage is fined fifty grand for what he did last week. There’s no suspension though, but Savage vs. Page II is now non-sanctioned and under what would be called hardcore rules. Savage pops up in the crowd with Liz and says he’s not paying the fine. Cue DDP who says let’s do it right now. Savage comes to the ring and they brawl for about ten seconds. Somehow all that took five and a half minutes.

Road Report wastes some time.

US Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Dean Malenko

Dean is defending and there’s no Debra with Jeff. Jeff’s outfit is now gold and white instead of just the white. Dean takes it to the mat to start and they trade hammerlocks. Jeff takes Dean down and struts a bit. A rollup gets two for the champion as does a small package. More back and forth technical stuff with Dean getting a small advantage. Here’s Debra because what would Nitro be like without her right?

We take a break and come back with Dean stomping away in the corner. Jarrett hooks a sleeper but Dean quickly rams him into the corner to escape. Off to a sleeper from Dean which is reversed into a suplex to put both guys down. A DDT puts Dean down for two but Malenko comes back with a clothesline to slow Jeff down. Dean slams him down and puts on a half crab with an arm trap to make it something like a surfboard.

Off to a spinning leg lock instead by Dean as he keeps the focus on the leg. A leg lariat gets two for Dean but Jeff comes back with a tombstone of all things for no cover. There’s the Figure Four and Dean is in trouble. It’s not big trouble though as he turns Jeff over in about five seconds to escape. Dean hits a butterfly powerbomb to set up the Cloverleaf but Jarrett small packages him for two. Backslide gets two for the champion as does a neckbreaker for the challenger.

Jeff misses a charge in the corner but blocks a shot off the top from Dean. A superplex puts Malenko down and here’s Eddie Guerrero out of the crowd. Debra distracts the referee and Eddie hits a Frog Splash on Dean. The sling his arm is in is fake apparently, so he leaves it on Dean’s chest. The referee finds nothing wrong with this and Jeff puts on the Figure Four and gets the tap out for the title.

Rating: B-. I was digging this but I could have done without the Eddie interference. It’s also hard to believe that the referee isn’t going to notice a freaking sling on Dean’s chest and be perfectly fine with it. Also it’s not like Dean’s leg was hurt that bad but he taps out that fast? It wasn’t that bad but it’s kind of a stretch for an ending. Still though, good match.

Gene is with Jimmy Hart and the Faces of Fear. Jimmy brings out Kevin Sullivan who says you can go home again, and he’s done that here tonight in Boston. He wants Benoit, Benoit comes out, the Dungeon beats him down.

BUY NWO STUFF!

Outsiders vs. Ric Flair/Roddy Piper

Non-title again. It’s a brawl to start of course with the old guys taking over. Scratch that as the old guys get taken down and we take another break. Back with Hall vs. Piper but it’s quickly off to Nash. Flair tries to come in which only allows more beating on Piper. Roddy hits both Outsiders low but Flair is on the floor fighting Syxx. Syxx comes into the ring and gets decked by Piper and it’s thrown out quick. Nothing to see here.

The NWO and the Horsemen come out for the big brawl, although we’ve got a good deal of time left. The Horsemen get beaten down but here’s Green for a failed save. The annoying timekeeper rings the bell through all of this. Didn’t the first hundred rings or so tell you that it wasn’t going to work? Harlem Heat and the Steiners are fighting in the aisle. We get a pretty cool looking wide shot of the arena.

Glacier, Wrath and Mortis are fighting in the aisle now too. The announcers get run off but come back a second later. The fans chant for Sting but we get luchadores fighting instead. Harlem Heat and the Steiners head to the announce booth again and we’ve lost Tony. The Dungeon of Doom gets in on this too and Heenan bails. The fans still want Sting but Savage and Page run in instead.

Tony is back on commentary now and Bobby joins him a bit later. Hogan is out now and takes out Flair with the belt. Page is out on the floor and here’s Sting from the ceiling. He holds off the NWO with the bat, even getting in a few shots in on them before attaching Page to the wire he’s on and flying into the air while holding Page. AWESOME ending to the show as the brawl ran like ten minutes.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a strange show but it worked for the most part. It was an entertaining show on its own, but it didn’t exactly make me want to see the PPV. Hogan and Luger weren’t there on Sunday, and the match they had tonight is never mentioned again as far as I know. The main event meant nothing but that’s par for the course in WCW. The ending sequence was incredible though and it would have had me begging my parents to get me the PPV. Other than that the show was entertaining enough and it went by very quickly, which is a good thing. As usual, when Hogan is around it’s a better show.

Here’s Great American Bash if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/05/04/great-american-bash-1997-they-broke-the-barbecue-pit-tony/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Nitro #83
Date: April 14, 1997
Location: Philadelphia Spectrum, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay

These are taking longer than I was hoping and now that I’ve got more time on my hands due to being done with the PPV reviews, I’ll be doing four of these at a time instead of two in a row. Also I kind of like these shows more than some of the WWF shows I’ve been doing so it’s more fun for me this way. This is another of the ten matches deep cards tonight but I wouldn’t bet on there being much going on here tonight with the big names. Let’s get to it.

Oh and by the way: we’re in Philadelphia the night after ECW’s Barely Legal. I wonder if we’ll hear a certain chant tonight.

We open with a recap of Nash and Hogan having their summit last week, as well as Sting lowering from the rafters to chase off the NWO.

Apparently Luger wants his earned title shot tonight. This brings the NWO to the announce desk (no Hogan). Nash says that if Luger wants the shot, he has to beat Nash tonight.

Chris Benoit vs. Barbarian

The place erupts for Benoit. Granted it may be for that awesome Horsemen theme. I could listen to that all day. Benoit is on fire to start and takes Barbarian down, hitting a sunset flip and northern lights suplex for two. Jimmy trips up Benoit on the floor and gets punched in the face for his efforts. For Benoit’s efforts though, Barbarian kicks him in the face. Advantage Barbarian.

Back in the ring Benoit snaps off a German but gets crotched on the top. Barbarian hits a BIG overhead belly to belly superplex for two. The savage (Barbarian I mean) misses a swan dive before Benoit hits his own for the pin. For a two and a half minute match, this was AWESOME.

Post match the Dungeon comes in and destroys Benoit until the Horsemen make the save. Benoit says that he’s going to destroy Sullivan before Sullivan destroys him. This feud has been going on for what, almost a year now?

US Title: Hector Guerrero vs. Dean Malenko

Dean gets a huge reaction of course. Apparently Bischoff is going to get a decision made on his future next week. They fight over a wristlock to start followed by some very fast near falls. Dean finally takes him down with a drop toehold and puts on a chinlock. Hector counters an abdominal stretch to send Dean to the floor and follows him out with kind of a standing Vader Bomb onto Dean. Sunset flip back in gets two for the challenger (Guerrero in case you’re rather slow) but Dean powerbombs him down and puts on the Cloverleaf for the tap out. Another short but very fast paced match.

Eddie comes out to save despite his arm being in a sling.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Reggie White is here and will fight McMichael at some point in the near future. They fight over a wristlock to start until Juvy hits a spin kick to the face to take over. Rey counters into a kind of reverse crucifix backbreaker and the fans start the first loud ECW chant of the night. Rey headscissors him over the top and out to the floor where both guys are down.

As Mysterio gets back in, Juvy powerbombs him off the apron and back to the floor. Back in and a springboard knee to the back keeps Rey in trouble. It’s time for the gymnastics portion of the match as neither guy can connect with anything. Rey hits the West Coast Pop out of nowhere for the quick pin.

Rating: C-. Considering who was in here, this was a disappointment. They weren’t really moving as fast as you would expect them to and there weren’t any high spots. Still though the match wasn’t bad and Rey is always worth checking out in 1997. That being said, this was easily the weakest match of the night so far.

Luna Vachon wants the Women’s Title.

TV Title: Lane Carlson vs. Ultimo Dragon

They’re flying through these matches tonight. I’m assuming the title is on the line here. Carlson is more famous as Lenny Lane. Feeling out process to start until Dragon escapes a backdrop and fires off the rapid kicks. A great looking dropkick takes Lane’s head off for two. Lane comes back with a bad looking Rocker Dropper for two and a bulldog gets the same. A clothesline puts Dragon on the floor and Lane hits a flip dive off the top to crush Dragon. Dragon throws Lane back in and kicks him through the ropes to take over. Back in and the top rope superrana sets up the tiger suplex for the pin for Dragon to retain.

Rating: C-. Another fast paced and surprisingly watchable match. This is what WCW was great at: taking a named guy and putting him out there with some no name and letting the no name show off a little bit. Lane would go on to be the Cruiserweight Champion when the company was falling apart.

Cruiserweight Title: Syxx vs. Prince Iaukea

We’re having an extreme lack of promos tonight. Iaukea speeds things up to start, showing off more fast paced offense in 30 seconds than he did in seven weeks as TV Champion. A kick to the face and a mat slam put Syxx down but he comes back with a spinwheel kick. Syxx is Cruiserweight Champion here but I don’t think the title is on the line. We put the camera on Reggie White for about 15 seconds and come back to Syxx holding a chinlock. We have a Hat Guy sighting as well.

Syxx takes him into the corner and hits the Bronco buster but something similar to a Swanton misses. Apparently this is for the title. Iaukea starts a comeback and hits a springboard clothesline for two before going up. Syxx crotches him but gets shoved down so Prince can badly mess up a top rope sunset flip for two. Syxx kicks the Prince down and hooks on the Buzz Kill (crossface chickenwing) to retain.

Rating: C-. The good part here is almost all because of Syxx. Iaukea was just so freaking dull, and when you had guys like Dragon, Mysterio, Guerrera, Benoit and Malenko around at this point, there was no room for a guy like Iaukea. As usual with Waltman, I like him WAY more when he’s against a smaller guy. It’s a shame he killed the Cruiserweight Title for so long though.

Here are Flair, Piper and Kevin Greene for a chat. Piper rambles about bald guys being cowards and something about gorillas in the Congo. He talks about Bischoff wearing Rodman shirts and implies the NWO is all coming out of the closet. If he wakes up with a dead horse’s head in his bed, he’s having a barbecue. Now he goes on a rant about people pouring asphalt and cutting down trees so they could start Starrcade and Wrestlemania. I assure you, this promo doesn’t make much more sense in full context. I think he’s talking about paving the way for the NWO guys.

Kevin says he did everything Hogan told him to do as a kid and then Hogan stabbed everyone in the back. The NWO is a bunch of rookies that are here just for the money. Greene uses the chopping wood and laying asphalt thing and it’s about respect apparently. For a celebrity that isn’t used to being on a live mic, Greene was pretty good here.

Flair talks about being trained by Verne Gagne in 1973 and walking into St. Louis in 1983 (at the age of 35. Think about that for a minute. At the time this is being written, Sheamus is 33. Flair was two years older than that back in 1983. That’s hard to fathom.) and wrestling Dick the Bruiser. Then in 1993 he wrestled Savage in the Hoosier Dome (it was 92 but close enough) and in 2003 he’ll still be going. That’s actually true and he even won a title that year.

High Voltage vs. Public Enemy

This is a street fight and it’s in Philadelphia. Not a bad way to start the second hour. You can barely hear Tony over the reaction for Rock and Grunge. Public Enemy sets up two tables at ringside before the bell and bring in trashcan lids to get us going. The chant starts before the bell even rings. There are about five trashcan lids in the ring and all of them go upside various people’s heads. I’m not really going to try to call anything in this as it barely resembles wrestling.

A horrible piledriver to Rage onto a trashcan doesn’t really do much damage so Public Enemy brings out a toilet seat instead. Heenan suggests dropping a dumpster on people from the ceiling. After a brawl on the floor, Kaos gets in some offense and is promptly booed out of the building. The fans are literally standing in the crowd. Another piledriver on the trashcan puts Kaos down and it’s table time. Two are stacked on top of each other and Rage is crushed with the Quebecers’ Cannonball move for the pin by Rock.

Rating: C+. The match here was completely beside the point. This was a way to fire up the crowd and to put it mildly, it worked very well. The fans erupted over the Public Enemy because they were ECW legends and every ECW fan was on cloud nine at this point. The match was basically a squash and that’s all it should be.

Giant vs. Big Al

Speaking of ECW, Big Al is more famous as 911. We’re told that Giant let Luger pin him at the PPV because Giant owed Luger a favor from when Luger was the first person to welcome Giant back to WCW. That makes sense. Anyway, chokeslam ends this in like a minute.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Konnan

Page works on the arm to start but Konnan stomps him down in the corner for a bit. Page rams him into the buckle, shrugs off a poke to the eye, and hits the Diamond Cutter for the fast pin. Typical Page match from this time period.

Savage and Liz are in the crowd with Randy telling Kimberly to stop calling him. Page charges after Savage but Macho escapes.

Harlem Heat vs. Jeff Jarrett/Steve McMichael

Jeff and Booker get us going with Booker running him over a few times. Mongo comes in and wants to fight the bigger member of the Heat in Stevie Ray. Mongo powerslams him down for two as we take a break. Back with Jarrett getting double teamed in the corner and taken down via a double elbow. Stevie comes in and pounds Jeff down again before tagging out to Booker for an ax kick. The Heat hit a double suplex for two and it’s off to a chinlock from Stevie.

Booker comes in to break up a sunset flip as we hear about some guy named Tiger Woods winning the Masters. Booker kicks Jarrett down again but a second kick misses. Jeff tries the Figure Four instead of tagging and everything breaks down. The briefcase is brought in but Sherri steals it from Mongo. Sherri tries to hit Mongo with it but the shot doesn’t seem to do much. The girls fight and the match gets thrown out. In a likely unintentional spot after the match, Sherri swings and misses Debra but hits her in the head on the back swing. Good.

Rating: D+. This incarnation of the Horsemen just were not that good. I get the idea that they’re supposed to be arguing, but that went on FOREVER and never went anywhere. How many weeks in a row now have I talked about the exact same kind of things happening in these matches? Oh and what was the point of the ending? It doesn’t help anything.

Apparently the Horsemen win by DQ. Ok then.

Gene talks to Mongo about his match with White at the PPV. As usual, Mongo cuts a heel promo despite being in a face faction. Mongo blasts White for a bit on the mic until White jumps the barricade. Mongo spits in his face and it’s on.

Kevin Nash vs. Lex Luger

The reinforcements come out for the NWO almost immediately. Nash pounds him into the corner and hits the framed elbow. A charge (yes, a charge from Kevin Nash) misses Luger but Lex has to stop to knock Syxx down, allowing Nash to kick Luger’s head off. Side slam gets two and Snake Eyes puts Luger down again. Nash hits the running hip attack to Luger’s back while Luger is in 619 position. Luger comes back with the steel forearm and here’s the NWO for the big beatdown and the DQ.

Rating: D. This was just a way to build up to the ending with the big NWO run in and the post match stuff. Nash was doing nothing but basic stuff and Luger hit about two moves in total. Then again, they only had about four minutes to work with so it may be unfair to blame the guys in the match. On the other hand, it’s Kevin Nash in 1997 so we can safely blame him.

Page tries to make the save but gets beaten down eventually. Giant comes out but Nash has a lead pipe. Sting walks down the ramp with three ball bats, giving one each to Giant, Luger and Page. Sting pulls out one for himself and the ring is cleared to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. As usual, when you let the Cruiserweights do their stuff, the show is good but when the other guys in there, things start to fall apart. The crowd helped this show a lot as they were erupting for everything all night. While it wasn’t a great show because of the lack of anything really happening, the wrestling was enough to carry it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Nitro
Date: November 9, 1998
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Heenan

This is another request and I have no idea what it was requested for. This would be a few weeks after Halloween Havoc and about two weeks before World War 3. Goldberg is world champion but the top feud is probably Bret Hart vs. DDP. I really don’t remember much about this time in the company’s history but they’re in trouble against Raw at this point. The bottom hasn’t fallen out yet though. Let’s get to it.

We open with a montage of Hogan saying he’s running for President. He announced this on the Tonight Show and I’m just going to move past it. It’s a montage of his pictures and that’s about it. Think the Real American video but not as impressive.

Gene and Bobby are in the back waiting for Hogan and here’s a limo. Make that two limos. It’s both NWO teams and they immediately brawl. Hall gets thrown in a trash can. Why do I have a feeling that isn’t the first time that’s happened to him? Konnan holds off Giant with a pipe and that’s about it.

We get some clips of Bret hurting DDP and Sting for some reason.

Kaz Hayashi vs. Juventud Guerrera

Things speed up immediately and here’s Bischoff to the announce desk. He says that the President will be here tonight and Gene needs to stay where he is. I’m so glad we stopped looking at a fast paced match to look at Bischoff’s back as he talked. The fans chant various curses at Bischoff as Juvy takes over with some kicks in the corner. He goes up but jumps into a dropkick from Kaz. Hayashi is one of those guys that was talented but never went anywhere for various reasons.

Tenay points out that the NWO battle in the parking lot did in fact take place in the parking lot. Thanks for that Professor. After a quick trip to the floor, Kaz takes him back inside and pops Juvy in the head. Juvy tries a dive of some sort but Hayashi moves, sending Juvy through the ropes to the floor. A BIG springboard dive takes Juvy down and Kaz is in full control. There’s a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and a dropkick to the ribs as Kaz focuses on the back and ribs, hence why he used a move to each of them.

The idiot fans think this is boring for some reason. Off to a rib stretching hold by Hayashi but it’s quickly broken up. The fans are still chanting boring for some reason. They chop it out and man those things are HARD. Kaz chops him into the corner and we actually get a commercial break in this match. Back with Juvy kicking Kaz down and diving to the floor to take both guys out.

Back in and Kaz clotheslines Guerrera down and the match slows down a bit. Kaz stands around too much and gets caught in a sunset flip for two. A brainbuster puts Juvy down for two. Juvy kicks him in the ribs but his powerbomb is countered into a rollup for two. Here are Sonny Onoo and Ernest Miller for no apparent reason. As the camera is on Miller, we can see Guerrera hitting a hurricanrana in the background. You know, the unimportant stuff. Juvy Driver is countered and Kaz rolls up Guerrera, only to have Miller distract the referee. Sonny kicks Kaz in the head and Juvy rolls him up for the pin.

Rating: B-. Bad ending aside, this was a pretty solid TV opener. How often do you see a cruiserweight match with guys of this name value get twelve minutes on Nitro? If this is the result I’d be fine with it happening more often. Good fast paced match here, even though the ending was designed to set up a tag match at the PPV.

We get clips of Nash getting beaten up by the NWO from a few weeks back. They’re really pushing the random videos tonight for some reason.

Alex Wright vs. Barry Horowitz

Yes that Barry Horowitz. Wright makes sure to tell the ring announcer that he does not want to hear ANYTHING from the crowd during the match. You know, because Barry Horowitz requires perfect silence to beat. Barry jumps him but Wright takes him right down to the mat. Horowitz comes back with a European Uppercut in a nice bit of psychology but Wright gets up two feet in the corner. We see what looks like a Secret Service guy as Wright hits a dropkick for two. They head to the floor and the Wolfpac howl goes off. Here they come and the match just kind of ends. Too short to rate but it was nothing.

Konnan does his usual stuff and Nash quotes Popeye, saying that he can’t stand anymore. That’s an image I never thought I would see. He talks about the brawl earlier with the Black and White and says the Wolfpac is never going to back down. Nash issues an open challenge to ANY combination of the Black and White for later but he wants Hall in it in some form. Luger says he wants Bret, who injured him a few weeks ago, and Konnan rambles incoherently. Cue Bischoff who calls Nash Estrogen Boy. They’ll get the Black and White tonight and just wait in the ring. Nash calls Bischoff Estrogen Boy too. Ok then.

Lodi vs. Scott Norton

Wasn’t the Wolfpac supposed to stay in the ring? Apparently it’ll be Hall/Giant vs. Luger/Nash later. Chop, powerbomb, pin, Norton wins. This was nothing. Norton is IWGP Champion at this point.

Here’s Disciple of all people for a chat. He says he’s his own man but here are Stevie Ray, Horace and Vincent. Gee what a threatening group. Horace gets to be the mouthpiece and it’s instantly clear why he NEVER got to do that more than once. Disciple (Brutus Beefcake if you didn’t know that) argues back and there’s the three on one beatdown. Horace whips him with a belt but Disciple fights back. The beating continues until Warrior comes out for the save and a big reaction. There’s an OWN shirt shown and that’s it. No literally that’s it, as Warrior was never seen in WCW or any major company again.

Gene and Bobby are in the back again and are apparently waiting on the arrival of Bill Clinton. We get a shot of a motorcade arriving and some people in suits, who are supposed to be Secret Service agents, tell Gene to leave. There are two limos here at least. We’re told that Hogan will announce his running mate here tonight as well. The cameramen are shoved back and we cut to the arena with some Presidential music playing.

Of course it’s not Clinton, but rather Hogan with a bunch of boas around his neck. There’s a huge American flag being lowered from the ceiling and Bischoff is here too. Is this some kind of big joke because of Jesse Ventura? I never quite got that. Hogan talks about how Jesse the Mind Ventura is steering Minnesota in the right direction and how proud he is of Jesse.

Hogan says his phone has been ringing off the hook and he’s decided that he’s running for President with Bischoff as the campaign manager. No party is mentioned but we do get a Monica Lewinsky cigar joke. This went on for a few weeks and then was never mentioned again due to reasons of stupid.

Buy WCW/NWO Revenge! No really, that game was pretty good, and it’s only SEVENTY BUCKS from WCW.

Here’s Bret Hart for a chat. As he’s coming to the ring we get a clip from last week with him injuring DDP in the Sharpshooter. Bret says Luger was lucky to escape with his life last week and that Sting needs to get well because there’s more where that came from. As for DDP, he’s in a hospital thanking God that his career isn’t over. Bret says just send him the belt and everything will be cool. Tonight he’ll beat up Konnan and that’s about it. It never ceases to amaze me how much they wasted Bret in WCW.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

This is during the LWO days. Eddie is the leader and wants Rey involved but Mysterio wants nothing to do with them. Eddie offers Rey a shirt before the match but Rey holds up his own shirt in response. Rey trips up a charging Eddie and pounds away on the ropes. Guerrero bails to the floor and comes back in on his knees. That’s a new way of begging for mercy. Well new to wrestling at least.

A headscissors puts Eddie back on the floor so it’s time to change strategies. Eddie takes Rey’s knee out and stomps away at it and Mysterio is in trouble. Eddie’s powerbomb is countered into a sunset flip but Eddie rolls through into a leg lock. Rey is put on the apron and Guerrero cannonballs down onto the leg over the top rope. Back into the ring and it’s another leg lock but Rey rolls him up for two.

Leg lock number three goes on and things slow down a lot. Rey gets to the ropes and manages to climb the ropes and hit a springboard headscissors to put Eddie down, but his knee slows him down. Eddie dropkicks him back down and it’s time to go to the knee again. A slingshot hilo lands on the knee and we head to the floor. Eddie dropkicks the steps into Rey’s knee which is up against the post. Mysterio is in big trouble at this point.

Back to the leg lock as things slow down again. The fans look at something on the left hand side of the ring and even Eddie stops to look at it. Rey avoids a charge in the corner and hits the Bronco Buster. A slingshot moonsault gets two for Rey, followed by a jumping X Factor for no cover. The layout bulldog gets another two for Rey but Eddie suplexes him down to take over again. Eddie puts on another leg lock but here’s Crazy Chavo. Eddie yells at him, allowing Rey to roll him up, botch the rollup, and then roll him up again for the pin.

Rating: B-. This falls firmly in the category of pairings that you can’t screw up. The leg work here was fine and while I’m not wild on the ending, the match worked fine. It was also a different style than you would expect from these two but it still worked well. Good stuff here and that’s a sign of talent, as both of them were out of their element with this style.

Rey saves Chavo from an LWO beatdown post match.

Here’s Bischoff who says that he’s still the boss even though he’s Hogan’s campaign manager. Flair is still not wrestling because of a failed physical apparently. He talks about JJ Dillon overstepping his bounds by firing Buff Bagwell and Scott Steiner. Some attorneys come out and waste more time before cracking some jokes and getting beaten up by Bischoff. Joseph Park they are not.

We get a LONG recap of Dillon fining Steiner and Bagwell from last week. The two of them came out and terrorized Dillon and destroyed the announcers’ desk. Steiner says no one can control him and they called out Kenny Kaos, who was Rick Steiner’s interim tag title partner. Being the idiot that he is, Kaos gets beaten down and laid out. Then on Thunder Nick Patrick got beaten down as well.

Scott and Buff come out with Scott saying his usual stuff, including a rant on Piper being the commissioner and a coward. Apparently no referee will work a Steiner match so Buff is going to do it. Scott demands an opponent so here’s what we get.

Scott Steiner vs. Chris Adams

Uh…yeah. There’s no match here as it’s a double beatdown. Rick Steiner runs out for the save and says he’ll find a partner and put the titles on the line tonight.

Tag Titles: Scott Steiner/Buff Bagwell vs. Rick Steiner/Judy Bagwell

Yes, it’s Buff’s mama. Buff tries to hit his mom to start but she ducks and knocks him to the floor. This is for the world tag team titles. Rick knocks Buff to the floor and Buff says he’s not fighting. Scott insults Judy and there’s a challenge for a match at the PPV. Judy says she’ll do it at the PPV and get paid this time. Only in WCW people.

Konnan vs. Bret Hart

This has to be better. I mean, it’s impossible for it to not be. This is Wolfpac vs. Black and White. Konnan immediately takes him down in the corner and stomps away. Out to the floor we go and Bret is sent into the barricade. Bret comes back with a rake to the eyes and we head back inside. A bit of trivia for you: Konnan is credited as the man that taught Bret the Sharpshooter. The Canadian hits a Russian on the Cuban but the elbow from the middle rope hits a boot. Well the boot hits Bret’s jaw but you get the idea.

Konnan comes back with some choking which doesn’t give me a ton of confidence in his chances of winning here. Bret gets pounded down in the corner but when Konnan goes after the referee, Bret takes Konnan’s knee out. You know it’s not going to take much to get Bret to go after an injured limb and Konnan is in big trouble. The fans want Sting as Konnan’s leg is wrapped around the post. Bret hits the knee again and then grabs a chair to beat on it for the DQ.

Rating: C-. This was all about adding another body to Bret’s hit list and that’s fine. The match was nothing of note as Konnan wasn’t in Bret’s league but he was a big enough name for this to mean something. DDP would face Bret at the PPV and the injury angle would more or less disappear, which is a shame as the Hitman name was perfect here.

Luger makes the save and Konnan goes out on a stretcher.

Gene asks Jericho to come out here. Jericho says this is where he was born and he’s glad he left because this place sucks. Jericho asks “Greenberg” to come out because he’s 4-0 against him so far. Ralphus says Goldberg isn’t here but we see Goldberg in the back wrecking Jericho’s stuff. Jericho has his back to the monitor and has no idea this is going on. Cue Goldberg, who sneaks up on Jericho and spears the tar out of him. He talks some trash and leaves Jericho laying. These two never had a match in WCW because who would want to see that right?

Kevin Nash/Lex Luger vs. Giant/Scott Hall

Main event time. Hall tosses the toothpick but Nash counters with some spit. Classy guy there. Nash pounds him into the corner and hits the framed elbow and long leg choke. I don’t think we’ll see much besides signature stuff here. Hall escapes Snake Eyes and pounds away but Luger makes a quick save. Hall bails from some deadly posing and Luger beats on him a bit, again with just signature stuff.

Scott finally rakes the eyes and gets Giant in and it’s the same monster vs. any sized guy stuff you’ve ever seen: Giant beats on him, Luger punches to no avail and then Luger chokes. Hall comes in illegally and Luger has to beat both of them up at once since Nash is looking for hair care products. Giant finally hits Luger low to break the momentum and uses his fattness to take over.

Back to Hall who chokes in the corner as the fans chant for the Wolfpac. Has Nash just fallen off the face of the earth or something? I know he’s in the corner but I haven’t seen him do anything for about five minutes now. Giant breaks up a tag to Nash and chokes Luger on the ropes, being aided by Hall.

The Black and White (Hall and Giant) take turns for a few minutes with as basic an offensive set as you could ask for. The fallaway slam looks to set up the Outsiders’ Edge but Lex backdrops out of it. Nash FINALLY gets the tag and cleans house, hitting Snake Eyes on Hall and big boots for both guys. And never mind as here’s Bret attacking Nash’s knee for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was pretty dull but for a main event tag it wasn’t the worst match in the world. Hart coming in was a bit of a surprise so it didn’t come off as a cliché or anything like that. The NWO war would go on for months until the point where no one could keep track of who was on which side, nor would anyone care.

Bret, Hall and Giant work over Nash’s knee until Luger makes the save with a chair to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. While nothing great and still too long at three hours, this was a pretty entertaining show. Until the Fingerpoke of Doom, Nitro was still a pretty entertaining show. If they could have found a way to wait out WWF’s time on fire, they could have kept the war going for years. Instead they tried quick fixes and made some horrible decisions, resulting in their demise. This was a good show though.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Summerslam 1994
Date: August 29, 1994
Location: United Center, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 23,000
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

Well, where to begin with the changes? For one, Bret is the WWF Champion and is in the middle of his epic reign with it which would end two months later at the hands of…technically Owen Hart but Backlund got the title in one of the oddest choices ever. Your double main event here is Hart vs. Hart and Taker vs. Taker. Yeah, Taker got….he got….well he got something at the Rumble and hasn’t been seen since.

This became a comedy storyline to an extent with Leslie Nielsen from the Naked Gun movies being brought in because there had been Taker sightings. A new Undertaker had been brought in by DiBiase and of course was evil. Aside from those two matches, I remember nothing at all about this show. It’s these two matches or nothing here, so let’s get to them, and hopefully some other stuff that’s worth watching on the card as well.

Macho Man opens the show. Wait what? How long was he there anyway? I know he was at Starrcade 94 and had a bit of a build up to his appearance there, so this must have been one of his very last appearances. He uses a line from All About Eve which makes me smile. He throws it to Vince and Jerry so this was really just to get the crowd into the show.

Ah apparently this is his last WWF appearance. We’re told that there are new tag champions which I guess happened at a house show. Might help if I told you who the new champions are. It’s Shawn and Diesel. We run down the card and mention that Davey Boy is there in the crowd. Remember that as it plays a roll later one.

Bam Bam Bigelow/IRS vs. Headshrinkers

The Headshrinkers are the team that lost the tag belts, so I guess this was going to be a title match coming into this show? We’re getting more towards the modern look of the arena here as we have the lights in the shapes of dollar signs and the opening doors to the arena. This is part of the Million Dollar Team which is the original Cabinet but much better. Vince confirms that this was supposed to be a title match but now is non title which sucks for the heels.

I always like the Headshrinkers for some reason. When they were being built up as the top face team they worked like few others. Lou Albano is managing them now as this guy is the king of tag champions for some reason. They’re wearing crowns that look like Native American headdresses for some reason. Bigelow of course would soon be starting up the feud with LT that would just suck so heavily, making the 11th Mania perhaps the worst of all time. The Samoans are quite over here.

Fatu would of course later become known as Rikishi, the thong wearing, dancing Samoan. Faces are completely dominating for the majority of this match, which leads me to believe they’ll wind up losing. Of course as soon as I type that the Corporation takes over.

This lasts about a minute as the faces are in control again. Eventually they hit their double stroke and top rope splash move but it turns into a big fight with Afa beating up Bam Bam. It’s a DQ win for the heels (called it) and all four brawl up the aisle. Vince doesn’t understand why that’s the decision.

Rating: C+. It’s not bad, but it felt like it was in fast forward. Nothing was given time to develop which I guess is what an opener should be. This was fun I’d say, although me liking the Headshrinkers has a lot to do with that more than likely.

We go to the back where Leslie Nielsen is on the Undertaker’s Trail. There’s even a sign saying Undertaker’s Trail and an arrow. We can also hear his thoughts as he narrates. He runs into one of his co-stars who looks like Taker in the dark and they stand on a case, followed by them arguing over which of them is on the case. This is dumber than it sounds.

Razor says he’s getting the IC title back from Diesel. Walter Payton is going to be with him for no apparent reason.

Women’s Title: Alundra Blaze vs. Bull Nakano

Ok, Blaze is more commonly known as Madusa so that’s what I’ll be referring to her as partially. Nakano is a Japanese wrestler who is apparently a big deal over there. She comes out with Luna to Orient Express’ old music. This is the original women’s title, which is one of the biggest jokes in the history of wrestling, but in a way caused the Montreal Screwjob.

The division was a flat out waste as Blaze was the only woman that ever did anything with it, mainly as she was one of the few American women that could wrestle in the company. Anyway, she was champion for just about ever until she bailed for WCW. She’s the one that dropped the belt in the trash on live TV and made Vince paranoid to the point that he was afraid Bret would do the same thing with the WWF Title.

Anyway, you know the rest and here were are with the title match that no one cared about and most won’t today. Nakano just wasn’t someone that Americans cared about and got the same treatment that Chono and Muta got in WCW: Great workers, but no one cared at all. Nakano probably weighs about 200 pounds or so. Her hair is about a foot tall. There’s a Y in Blaze but I’m sick of the red lines under it.

This match is pretty bad. The problem simply was that women’s wrestling was somehow less serious back then than it is now. Blaze would be barely above an average worker in today’s product, but back then she was Trish and Lita rolled into one.

This is just not that interesting as it’s sloppy and your stereotypical women’s match in a lot of ways, from hair throws to poor execution. It’s ok I guess, but it’s really not that great. Blaze hits some bad looking takedowns before dodging the top rope leg and hitting the German suplex for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was just there. It wasn’t that great but it wasn’t that terrible. The women’s division was just horrid back then and part of the reason was there wasn’t enough talent to warrant a whole division. Blaze was a pioneer for the division but there were far more talented workers later on.

Diesel and Shawn are with Todd, talking about their title win and then the IC Title match tonight. Diesel was actually quite good on the mic.

Intercontinental Title: Diesel vs. Razor Ramon

Diesel is champion here which is a very forgotten reign, especially since he’d get the world title in about three months. For some reason Shawn is introduced after Diesel is, despite him accompanying Diesel to the ring. Crowd pops like a cherry for Razor, as I still don’t get why he never got a short run with the world title. Yet again, a face befriends a local sports legend. Razor is wearing sky blue boots, which he can actually work I think.

The good thing about Razor here is that he’s a big guy so he can wrestle with big guys but he has the speed tactics here to counter Diesel, which makes this a very interesting match in my eyes. This is pretty standard yet solid fare here as Razor starts out hot and fast with Diesel eventually taking over with slower power moves which work very well for him. I still don’t get the point in Walter being there but that’s just me.

Shawn gets involved and helps beat on Razor as the football legend is still rather worthless in this match other than for moral support which is worthless of course. Shawn and Diesel combine to get the buckle exposed and ram Razor’s back into it. Jerry asks why Payton is there and is ignored. That’s a funny thing to me as even Vince has no idea but just won’t admit it. Walter has of course done nothing to counter Shawn this whole time.

We get a short comeback from Razor but it’s nothing of note really, which makes me wonder why I’m noting it here. Correction it’s a decent one as he throws those great right hands of his. After Shawn keeps getting involved and the referee keeps going after Walter, Shawn goes for the IC belt and he and Walter fight over it. Shawn loses the tug of war and goes for the kick. Of course it misses and Razor pins Diesel for the belt.

This would happen again and would result in Diesel and Shawn splitting, leading to Diesel taking the world title in November. Payton joins in celebrating despite doing jack. Diesel stalks Shawn up the ramp. Oh good grief Walter’s son is there too. Why not his old roommate while we’re at it?

Rating: B-. I’m sorry Chicago residents/Bears fans, but Payton was worthless in this. He’s an amazing running back and a great man, but there was no need to have him here. Put 1-2-3 Kid there or something, but not a football player with no connection to the match at all. Match itself was fine though as these two have that natural chemistry together. Fun match but Payton hurt things in my eyes.

We go to Macho who says nothing of note at all.

Vince recaps what we just saw, which shows Walter talking to the referee while Shawn is getting ready to kick Razor. Ok, that means one of two things. Razor slipping out was pre-planned or Walter is a freaking moron that will let his buddy get kicked. Yeah, great move there.

We go to the back with Diesel saying he’s mad at Shawn for costing him the belt and saying that Payton wasn’t even an issue. Shawn says it’s ok and he’ll get Diesel out of this.

Lex Luger vs. Tatanka

Oh I had forgotten about this. This was actually a really well done story in my eyes. Here’s the idea: Luger and Tatanka are feuding with DiBiase’s team. Luger is constantly being offered a spot on the team for a big amount of money but he always turns it down. Things of course start looking like he took the money but never completely. Tatanka and everyone else is convinced that Luger is guilty, so the two of them are having this match here in which Luger allegedly will show that he sold out.

This was drawn out and really well built up to the point that we were believing Lex was evil now, when I think the real answer is pretty obvious. DiBiase keeps doing all kinds of things to imply that Luger has sold out including helping him win a match and DiBiase going into Luger’s locker room. Luger continues saying that DiBiase can do all kinds of things but Luger has never done anything wrong, which is very true.

Luger gets a somewhat mixed reaction, being about 70-30 for the face pop. The cheers are louder, but the booing is there. DiBiase isn’t there either, which is a point of interest I guess. He hits the corner and the boos are MUCH louder now. Bell rings and they’re arguing over whether or not he sold out. The whole point of this is waiting on DiBiase to come out and help Lex and the match is just kind of meandering along which isn’t good at all as it makes the match boring. You need a good match to go with a good story to make something really successful and this isn’t doing it. It’s ok, but just ok.

Finally DiBiase comes out with a big bag full of money. As Luger is looking at him and the money, Tatanka rolls him up for the pin. Post match, Luger goes after DiBiase and Tatanka attacks him, turning heel and legitimately surprising a lot of the fans. The heels hug and the fans are TICKED.

Tatanka beats the tar out of Lex and leaves with Ted, but turns around to beat on Lex some more. He puts the Million Dollar Dream on him to put Luger to sleep and follows with the ultimate humiliation of putting the money in his mouth. Why that is humiliating I have no idea but it looks awesome.

Rating: C-. This is a great example of the angle being far better than the match. The match was pretty bad but the angle was excellent. This was a total swerve and while it’s clear it was going to happen now, it was really well done at the time. The match sucked but the angle makes up for it.

We’ve only got three matches left, so this one is yours. Why this took place is beyond me. At the end you get a sample of the brilliant comedy that the company had going for it at the time.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Mabel

This is filler on the second biggest show of the year. This was a rather bad time if you didn’t get that. Well that’s not really fair as there was filler at almost any show back in the day. Vince says he’s a fan of good rap. Therefore he’s not a fan of Oscar and Mabel. Jarrett won’t shake his hand to start us off. Nice old school heel work there.

Mabel does Jarrett’s strut which isn’t bad. Basic story here as Jarrett can’t fight him at all due to the gravitational force of Mabel’s fat sucking the good out of this match. Jarrett shoves Oscar into the steps and then Mable eats post. Jarrett just tries to get Mabel down and of course nothing works until Jarrett gets pulled out of the air when attempting a top rope double axe.

Sleeper goes on and Mabel does his stupid falling kick thing. Knuckleball Schwartz (and mine is bigger than his) is on strike. Ok then. Jarrett, like an idiot, goes after Oscar for fun and gets crushed for his troubles. Middle rope splash misses Jeff. Mabel misses a seated senton and Jeff actually gets the pin. I’m at a loss for words to describe how much of a waste of time this was.

Rating: D-. Just a totally pointless match here as they made no secret at all of there being no need for this match. Basic big vs. little guy here as nothing of note was going on here at all. Get on to something else please.

The detectives are in the arena and Taker’s silhouette is behind them. I really hate this show.

We get a long buildup package on Bret vs. Owen which was very well done, especially the masterful jobs from Survivor Series and Mania, which was the absolute classic that was Bret vs. Owen. Owen’s heel work in this was absolutely masterful. This was built up for nearly a year and is one of the best feuds that I can ever remember. I’m enjoying looking back at this as it really was well done and you could feel the tension here.

Owen pinning Bret clean at Mania was mind blowing at the time and still is to this day. Bret’s old partner Neidhart has joined up with Owen as well which makes thing even more amazing. The beauty in having Owen win was that it made you believe he could do it for the title here tonight. That’s a great bonus and it makes matches better and more believable. Bruce, their brother, went off on him, while wearing a leather jacket.

Did Stu make his fortune as a leather tanner or something? Owen did a promo in the cage about a week before which was great. I know this is long but the recap is about 10 minutes long. Stu and Helen are interviewed at ringside which I don’t think I’ve ever heard before. Helen sounds typical but Stu sounds very odd indeed. Not how I imagined it, but the man is an absolute legend and one of the few people who played a big role in shaping the business into what it is today.

I can’t think of anyone that’s trained more stars than he has. Davey says that he wouldn’t want to be in the ring with Bret tonight. Neidhart is there too and he’s an Owen supporter. This is really intricate and intense and is one heck of a story if I do say so myself. I’m hyped for this match and I’ve seen it probably 8 times.

Bret is apparently getting over strep throat. I’ve had that about 30 times and if you’ve never had it, consider yourself lucky. It’s misery. Bret says he doesn’t hate Owen but he does hate Neidhart because Jim made Owen jealous in the first place. He says this ends tonight.

WWF Title: Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

Since I’ve explained the story pretty well, I’ll spare you another retelling of it. Owen’s heel music owned. Bret’s face music owned. Sweet goodness this match rocks in all areas. Never marked out for a Bret match before but I am on this one. In a nice touch, Owen’s name graphic doesn’t show up until he’s in the cage and Bret’s music is playing, almost like he’s a jobber. The bell rings and we’re off immediately.

For some reason we have no commentary at the beginning. Ah there it is. I’m watching this on my laptop and the audio is the kind where half is in one ear and the rest is in the other on my headphones. The referee is outside which is a good thing to me. That enziguri from Owen just never gets old. They’re starting out really slowly which is also good as they’re not going for broke immediately but rather telling a story out there.

Both go for the quick exit very early on which is a nice touch. Owen wants to beat Bret and Bret just wants to end this as the title is secondary to him. We get a really good camera shot from over the corner of the cage. That’s a unique shot that’s cool looking. Owen lands a dropkick and then a nip up before literally diving at the cage wall, desperate to get out. This is just hilarious looking but at the same time you can see how desperate Owen is to win here.

That’s yet another nice little touch. It’s the little things like that which can make a match great as they show that the workers are thinking and not just wrestling. They’ve been going about 10 minutes so far and it’s pretty even at this point. Pretty sure this is escape only which is what a cage match should be. Screw that pinning and submission nonsense.

Lawler keeps trying to play up Bulldog vs. Hart from 92 but Vince says that it means nothing, which is true as they were friendly afterwards, especially since Davey was gone for a long period of that. The good thing about this match is that it’s not about the cage but about the wrestlers and the cage is more of a prop. That’s always better. This is a ton of last second saves and close calls which keeps the fans on their toes.

They trade sharpshooters as I’m very close to the end of the match and I have nothing to make fun of here as it’s a great match. They chase each other up the cage but Owen’s leg gets tied up and Bret drops down to keep the title. Post match, Neidhart jumps the rail and beats on Bret for a bit before taking him back inside the cage and locking the door.

We then get the siege of the cage as all of the Harts try to get in before Smith goes up the cage and knocks Owen off. This takes like 4 minutes to finally accomplish which actually is kind of a cool looking sight. Finally Smith runs the heels off. They help Bret to his feet before we go to the back to talk to Owen.

Rating: A. This was a great cage match as there’s the natural chemistry and rivalry there, and if you give these two thirty plus minutes, are you expecting anything less than greatness?

Owen and Neidhart are in the back as Owen talks about how only Bret ever got cared about and how Jim was his best friend. It’s better than it sounds.

Recap of Taker vs. Taker. Short version, Taker disappeared after the Rumble to heal an injury and hadn’t been seen since. He returned but he was different, controlled by DiBiase. This was actually Brian Lee who was Chainz in the DOA in a few years. We get testimonials from regular people, making this seem like Elvis sightings. I refuse to believe that these people are wrestling fans.

Undertaker vs. Undertaker

DiBiase brings out the fake one and then Fink says that his opponent is the one and only Undertaker. We get a casket rolled out as well as this entrance is just taking too long. The casket is opened and inside is a huge urn. Bearer takes it into the ring and actually opens it, revealing….a really powerful flashlight. This goes on for several minutes as I’m pretty bored. This somehow triggers Taker to appear and walk down the ramp.

When I say walk, I mean move…..kind of. Fake Taker looks to weigh about 340. While this is kind of a cool moment, Bret and Owen should have closed the show. It’s not that bad though and it could have gone over far worse. Real Taker is in purple and fake is in gray. Real even throws out a leap frog that is amazing to see when you think about it.

The crowd is still popping but so much of their emotion was taken out of them by the previous match that it’s just hard for them to get hyped here, and I can’t blame them. This is a cool idea, but it just shouldn’t have gone last. This is pretty basic for the most part. Real leads for the early part, fake takes over and dominates the majority, standard Taker comeback with three tombstones to get the emphatic win for the real Deadman.

The count is slower than the walk that got him there though which is odd. Ted is ran off as Taker poses like crazy to end the show. Actually it doesn’t as we throw it to Macho to end the show. Actually it doesn’t as we go to the detectives in the back who open Taker’s casket to find nothing. Then one finds a briefcase which is closed. “The case is closed!” We go off the air like that. When I was a kid I never got that joke and it’s still awful today.

Rating: B. The match was fine, but it shouldn’t have gone last. At least we got a decent moment to end on with the real Taker standing tall, or in his case kneeling moderate. The comedy thing was just a waste as they never even interact with Taker, but that’s a good thing.

Overall Rating: C-. This really is just a one match show as the rest is just pretty silly. Luger and Tatanka’s angle is great, the cage match is excellent, and that’s about it. The comedy thing with the detectives was just flat out stupid on all levels and I certainly could have done without it.

They’re on screen all of 3 minutes and they have nothing but sight gags and dumb moments. I didn’t get the point back then and I don’t now. There’s nothing much to this show other than the cage, so I’d say find a copy of that and the buildup and other than that, go watch a better show as this isn’t that good.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Summerslam 1993
Date: August 30, 1993
Location: Palace of Auburn Hills, Auburn Hills, Michigan
Attendance: 23,954
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Vince McMahon

Well, it’s a different time for the WWF now, as there’s no Warrior, no Hogan and Savage is commentating. This presents a big problem: there’s no one to lead the company as the top face. After Hogan bailed and never put Bret over which is something that I know isn’t for sure as to whom to blame, but something still isn’t sitting right with me about it, Bret was the top face by default. However, the top heel was Yokozuna, who beat Bret already.

Due to his size and allegedly (nonsense) the fact that Bret couldn’t have a good match with him, Lex freaking Luger of all people is turned face to try to slay the giant. This all happens on the Fourth of July weekend on the USS Intrepid where there was a body slam contest. No one can manage to slam Zuna, and the contest allegedly ends.

OR DOES IT?

A helicopter lands on the boat and the fans chant for Hogan. Nope, not him. Macho Man? Already made an attempt. Ultimate Warrior? One last guess. …Andre the Giant? He’s already dead, so no one knows. It’s….Lex freaking Luger? Yes, it’s Flexy Lexy, the guy that had been a pompous jerk of a heel since the day he got there. Apparently he’s now very proud to be an American and he wants to stand up for America and slam the AMERICAN Samoan.

Of course he does it to a huge pop and an instant mega face push. However, Yoko doesn’t want to give him a title match. So what’s a newly top face to do? Rent a bus and drive around the country of course! Yes, Luger comes up with the Lex Express and drives around the country meeting fans like he’s trying to win the 1872 Presidential election. It’s somehow dumber than it sounds as Luger even has a theme song called I’ll Be Your Hero.

This may in fact be the most obnoxious thing that has even been attempted by Vince McMahon. There’s pushing someone down our throats, and then there’s this. The one problem: Luger never won the belt. He never even pinned Yoko that I recall. He was supposed to get the epic win at Mania 10, but he got drunk at a bar the night before and blabbed the plans to everyone, so there was a last second change and Bret got the title to close Mania 10, leading to his real reign with the belt.

Luger was gone in about a year, running back to WCW where people got closer to caring anything about him. This is the first encounter with him and Yoko. Other than that, there’s really nothing going on at all. Bret and Lawler are finally starting their two year feud so that’s kind of the second big match on the card I guess. Let’s get to this.

Our opening is…a music video of Lex Luger and his trip around America. He wears stars and stripes shirts and sleeps with a folded up American flag in his arms. This actually could have been an epic victory for him, had he you know, WON THE BELT! That’s what makes this look so bad in hindsight: he never won the title. Had he done that, it’s the payoff for all the over the top nature of this angle.

Ted DiBiase vs. Razor Ramon

The Million Dollar Man was done on PPV after this, injuring his neck early in 1994 and being forced to immediately retire. Razor here is mad over as he’s getting that big push that he’s most known for. Coming soon: the IC Title feud with Shawn that got Shawn his jump up the ladder and yes that was intentional. This is over DiBiase offering Razor a job as a servant and Razor having that pesky pride of his.

It’s cool because I reviewed the go home show of Raw a few weeks ago so I actually know some of the buildup for these matches, or at least what there is of it. Anyway, this is probably Razor’s biggest match to date. DiBiase is looking a bit chubby here. This match is really just kind of boring. DiBiase dominates for the majority of the match, which isn’t saying much as it runs about seven and a half minutes total.

It’s mainly just slow paced and standard DiBiase stuff which is fine as he’s always very solid, but the fans are just dead for this. Now near the end of the match, Ted takes the cover off of the buckle and gets slammed into it, leading to the Razor’s Edge. The crowd is losing it for this as I hardly ever remember seeing a crowd go from dead to insane that fast. Naturally this is the end of the match, and the end of DiBiase’s time in the ring.

While he was certainly far from his prime, he was hardly falling apart out there. His stuff was solid, but it might be good that he got out when he did, given the new direction the company was going in. I’m not saying he wouldn’t have had a place, but his style is slower and more thought out than what was wanted in the new era. It’s sad to see one of the greats have to go, especially when two days ago he rocked with his time as GM of Raw.

Rating: C-. It was a bit boring and that hurts it a lot. DiBiase was there to put Razor over and that’s exactly what he did, so points for that. Razor was on the rise and this was another match that put him over even more.

Todd Pettingill (the man that replaced Sean Mooney) is with the family of the Steiners, which is cool I think. He’s interrupted by Jim Cornette in the ring.

Tag Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Heavenly Bodies

Steiners are the home town boys so their pop is of course epic. Now the Heavenly Bodies are an interesting subject. They were the Dudleys of Cornette’s Smokey Mountain Wrestling, meaning that they were the undisputed biggest thing there, but unlike the Dudleys, that didn’t translate in the big companies. As for SMW, that place rocked. All kinds of guys were there and a lot of them got over because of their work there.

Guys like Lance Storm, Kane, Jericho and Foley mixed with some veterans, some local guys and Cornette calling the shots, and how can you go wrong? The problem was the business as a whole was in deep trouble at that point and Cornette, while being successful to an extent, only lasted about four years. However, in those four years he co-promoted with Vince, which was a pretty big deal at the time. SMW could have worked very well, if the timing and business as a whole had been better.

Even still, it did quite well all things considered. Big brawl starts as the heels take over early but the Steiners start owning as Scott takes over and dominates which is always fun to watch. He was the prototype for what the modern day athlete was supposed to be but due to what has to be steroid abuse, he’s now a shell of his former self. Cornette has a neck brace on for no reason at all.

Eventually the heels take over on Scott and you can put the rest together from there. We go to the melee with Rick taking over to fight off the forces of evil as the fans are freaking out for the hometown boys. After Rick gets his with the tennis racket and Scott saves him the Frankensteiner ends it.

Rating: B-. This was fine. It’s nothing special and was just a token defense but is that really a bad thing for the hometown boys? I certainly don’t think so. It’s about 10 minutes and the faces were in a bit of trouble, so what more can you ask for out of this? Solid little match that did its job well.

We go to some guy named Joe Fowler who is a new interviewer that I don’t ever remember again. He’s with Shawn and Diesel and asks about how Shawn can’t hold onto the belt and that Diesel got it back for him from Perfect. Fowler actually wasn’t that bad at this and while he was a bit too perky, he wasn’t awful.

IC Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Shawn Michaels

This is the blowoff of the feud that had been built up……….4 months ago. The buildup for this match was nothing short of a masterpiece but by the time they got to the match the interest was pretty much long gone. I’ve never figured out why they waited but I’d assume an injury or something like that. Either way it was a bad idea for waiting so long as it could have been the hottest feud in the business at the time.

Anyway, this is your main midcard match of the show. Perfect, even probably past his prime, still just rocks on all levels. We get a plug for Radio WWF out of nowhere which was one of the oddest ideas I’ve ever heard of. Ross and Monsoon would call the show on the radio. Heenan apparently gets hit in the eye by something and isn’t happy about it. Very fast sequence to start and it of course ends in a botch as I have no idea who did what or what they were going for but it looked absolutely horrid.

Anyway, they go into a standard sequence as they jockey for position and Heenan talks about how Diesel will be the big factor here. This referee counts WAY too fast. If he had worked for WCW they would have won the wars. After they go to the floor, Shawn lands a stiff thrust kick to Perfect’s chin. That kick was so sweet that it was almost like music. Shawn continues his perfect streak of being too loud about calling spots which gets annoying after awhile but is part of the business.

I’m kind of skipping over a lot but a good match makes me do that. There’s little to complain about here which makes it hard to come up with jokes. Perfect hits a move that I always thought would be insanely hard to pull off: a running dropkick. That just looks hard to do and makes Perfect look even better. The ending to this is just flat out bad. Perfect gets the Perfectplex but Diesel pulls him outside and they start fighting in what could have been a very interesting feud.

Anyway, Shawn jumps at Perfect but he gets punched for his efforts. Shawn rolls in and lands on the referee, breaking up the count, but after Diesel rams Perfect’s shoulder/head area into the post, the referee continues his count and we get a count out. That was either a botch or running out of time, either way it didn’t work.

If you want to do the screwjob finish then let Diesel interfere and let Shawn get the pin but don’t just go with the count out. Post match Perfect gets the double beatdown and Shawn says he’s the greatest IC Champion.

Rating: B-. This was a very fun albeit short match. This really could have been something good with more time and a finish. That being said it was far from bad with one pretty bad botch that was at least in the beginning of the match. It just was too short and I hated the ending though.

Fowler is with the 1-2-3 Kid who says he’s nervous but ready. Again, Fowler is too perky but he seems solid enough.

IRS vs. 1-2-3 Kid

This is the other feud that comes from DiBiase vs. Razor. Kid was the indy darling at the time and when he got signed what would become the IWC exploded in excitement. What the heck happened to this guy? He became so completely worthless later in his career. Kid was Colin Delaney of his day, but unlike Colin, Kid actually had some skill and would win some matches. He was also far less annoying.

This is really short and not that interesting as even the commentators don’t want to talk about it as you can hear. The big deal about it is that the fans make fun of IRS’ name. Eventually he hits a clothesline of all things to get the pin. That’s really the best they can come up with? Heenan makes some dumb jokes to end this.

Rating: F. No one cared, it wasn’t interesting, and it sucked. What kind of grade did you expect here?

Todd is with Bret’s family, namely Owen, who is rocking one of the worst mullets ever, and Bruce. Stu had knee surgery and can’t be there tonight. They talk about the Hart/Lawler feud, which leads us to this.

Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler

This is for the title (more like name) of undisputed king of the ring. There’s no real title or anything which is good. Bret is one of 12. Dang Stu was tearing it up yo. Lawler is on crutches as he comes out. Todd asks him what’s going on. Apparently he’s injured. Gee you think? Never would have been able to figure that out without the crutches, the ice pack on the knee or the limp. The heel heat that he gets is so basic and so good that it’s uncanny.

Lawler blames his injury on his car as he talks forever. Apparently he’s not allowed to wrestle here tonight. Vince is ticked off over this. Imagine, a guy changing the match at the last second, especially one over a knee injury in a Bret Hart match. Yep, Vince has every right to be upset. Instead, he’s going to let his court jester fight Bret instead. This leads to…

Bret Hart vs. Doink the Clown

This was SO random. Doink had been just beating up jobbers and all of a sudden he’s fighting a former world champion at Summerslam? This made no sense and I’m still not sure why they picked him. He does his confetti/water trick, which leads to one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen at a wrestling show. He throws water on Bruce Hart, so Owen easily opens the railing up and walks through to ringside.

That’s a GREAT lesson to teach people: how to get past the guardrail. Anyway of course Bret is ticked off and beating on Doink early. The clown was such a great gimmick that it’s unreal. Think of the Joker from Batman and make him a wrestler. There’s Doink. This incarnation of him was someone that was a great wrestler that hid behind clown makeup because he was so mentally disturbed. How great of an idea is that?

He dominates most of the match which is Bret at his best: getting beaten up. Doink even puts an STFU on Bret as the young John Cena eats a sausage. He puts the Stump Puller on Bret and grabs the top rope for “additional leverage”. I get home sometimes that would help, but how in this case would that help?

Maybe I’m just missing something but I don’t see it at all. Here’s Bret’s comeback and you can connect the dots yourself here. Sharpshooter goes on, but GASP, Lawler comes in and hits Bret with the crutch! WHO THOUGHT THAT WOULD HAPPEN? Vince’s commentary here is hilarious as he’s panicking over this, thinking that such a thing could never happen.

Rating: B. This was actually pretty good. The in ring work with both guys was solid as Doink really was good in the ring, or at least until he turned face just after this match. Bret of course was great and Lawler made himself look evil here, continuing the feud that wouldn’t end until Summerslam 1995.

The heels head to the back but WAIT! JACK TUNNEY is here to stop them! That leads us to this.

Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler

This is going to be quick. What are you expecting here? It’s maybe 5 minutes long and it’s Bret beating the tar out of him, a short heel dominance and a Sharpshooter for the tap out. The main thing here though is that Bret leaves the hold on for OVER THREE MINUTES as apparently he wants Lawler’s grandkids to have knee problems. A small army of suits and referees get rid of him but naturally the decision is reversed to give it to Lawler. Owen’s cowboy boots are making me crack up with laughter.

Rating: B+. It was Bret beating up his enemy which is always fun to see. That’s just not something you can’t beat as Lawler is such a great cowardly heel that working with Bret was perfect. The post match thing made you believe Lawler’s career was over, but this feud would go on for two years, on and off.

We see a promo from Borga, talking about how Luger is stupid for wanting to save America when it has slums like the one he’s in. This was I guess on location in inner Detroit.

Bret and co. says it’s not over with Lawler.

Ludvig Borga vs. Marty Jannetty

Oh dear this is going to be bad isn’t it? Borga is just a beast that was only there about 8 months before being let go for no apparent reason. It was rumored that he would take the title from Taker (not sure where he would have gotten it, maybe at the Rumble?) and then lose it to Luger at Mania 10. I’ve never heard any concrete plans on that but I’ve heard rumors similar to that too many times to not think there’s at least some credibility to them.

Marty of course has his head handed to him here as the Finn is a boxer and just punches Marty’s ribs into oblivion. This is a pure squash here and Marty lands a couple of super kicks that meant nothing at all. Borga’s finisher was the torture rack, which I would have nearly died of laughter from if he’d beaten Luger with.

Rating: D+. It’s a squash and a long, drawn out one. Marty was ok in the ring I guess, but this was better suited for a Raw or something I think. Ludvig would dominate jobbers for a few months before being placed in a real feud, but the ankle injury was too much for him and for some reason he got let go. It was one injury. I’ve never gotten why he never came back.

Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez

This is a Rest In Peace match which means street fight. This is the blow off match that no one really wanted to see. The Giant had run in at the Rumble to beat up Taker on behalf of Harvey Whipleman, who I still need clarification on whether or not he’s a human being. They had the worst Taker Mania match ever (not Taker’s fault) and they waited 4 months to have the rematch….for no apparent reason.

No transition at all as Borga’s music is still playing as Fink is announcing. Was there really a point to the caveman look? I never got that. Oh, for the 100th time someone has stolen the urn. The pop for Taker is epic of course. I’m starting to get the reason why Taker got so big so fast, among the obvious reasons: Bobby Heenan. The things Heenan would say about Taker made him just awesome sounding.

As soon as the gong strikes, Bobby says: “See ya!” That’s such a tiny thing but it works so well. He’d always do that and it would always work. No Paul Bearer for no apparent reason. We’ve clearly seen that Gonzalez is taller and that Taker is walking normally, yet Vince says Taker is towering above all and gliding to the ring. Vince, pay attention please. Heenan: I bet Johnny Cash has a picture of him in his pocket. Norcal will love that line.

Apparently Bearer being gone has been the case for awhile now. This is a lot better than at Mania, mainly because Gonzalez has figured out a bit more of his own style and isn’t as horrible as he was before. Also the lack of rules suit them both better in a match like this. Taker looks tiny which is saying a lot. It’s mainly back and forth with Taker continuously reaching for the urn “like it’s a tag partner.” Eventually Bearer returns with a black wreath.

Whippleman and Bearer “fight”, resulting in Bearer getting the urn back. Heenan says NO NO NO, Bearer says OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS! Taker sits up of course and it’s on. Taker hits about 5 clotheslines before hitting one from the top to get the pin. Gonzalez I guess turns face after the match by beating up Harvey. That went nowhere.

Rating: C+. This was FAR better than what they did back in April. The rule changes saved this along with the shorter match. It just flowed much better and looked more like something these two would do, as it was a brawl and not a match. Not great, but compared to what they had done before, this was Savage vs. Steamboat.

Fowler is with Yoko, Fuji and Cornette. Cornette says his typical great heel stuff here and puts over Yoko.

Smoking Guns/Tatanka vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Headshrinkers

Yeah to put it mildly this is filler. The Guns were pretty new at this point. It’s great to see the cowboys and Indian getting along so well here. Ross and Monsoon are on radio here. Ah it’s for the Armed Forces Network. I can live with that. SHAWN MICHAELS HAS LEFT THE BUILDING! Samu and Tatanka start us off. Heenan makes fun of the Cleveland Indians and Dallas Cowboys, which makes me be irritated.

Both Tatanka and Bigelow go for cross bodies at the same time which is a weird looking visual but it worked rather well. Billy punches Rikishi and gets kicked in the face as a result. Why couldn’t he have been kicked out of the company instead? Vince insists they are REAL cowboys. Oh dear. Samu kicks him into the corner to get a tag to Bart.

Crowd is DEAD of course. Bigelow hits a dropkick to take him down for two. Not quick Jim Nedihart’s but close enough. This is just boring beyond belief. It’s like a long Superstars match rather than a long TV match which is REALLY bad for 93 standards. Bigelow rams Bart’s head into Fatu’s which is rather funny.

Bart dodges and Bigelow hits the post so that Tatanka can come in and hopefully end this nonsense. Slam to Bigelow which is kind of impressive. Top rope cross body gets two. Tatanka starts up his racial stereotypes and Bigelow just hits him to stop such idiocy. A triple headbutt hits but a triple splash misses so Tatanka can roll up Fatu for the pin.

Rating: F+. That triple splash was cool looking but this was AWFUL. Like I said, total Superstars match here and nothing more. Horribly boring match and no one cared at all.

We interview Luger’s bus driver. Let me repeat that. We interview Luger’s bus driver. He has a monitor and is watching Summerslam from inside the bus. That….might be the funniest thing I’ve seen since Summerslam began. Yeah, it is. He’s driven Lex around the country for 2 months and he can’t get a bleacher seat to the show? He talks about how great Luger is in what might not have been scripted. He’s talking like this is a real thing, so either he’s not scripted or he needs a job in WWF.

Fowler does something that I like here: he says he’s going to ask a stupid question. Can I get a Hallelujah chorus? We have an interviewer that knows he asks stupid questions. WHY DID THIS GUY LEAVE???

Todd interviews some of the fans.

To further shove the red white and blue down our throats, there are American flags sitting on top of the commentators.

In something else that makes me laugh. Fink asks for the fans to please rise. He gets booed. He then asks if the people will show some respect. When did Fink become a heel manager? The Japanese national anthem is sung. We have a master of ceremonies for the main event, and for no reason at all, it’s Randy Savage. He brings out some guy to sing the National Anthem. Savage looks like the Incredible Hulk meets the Uncle Sam poster.

WWF Title: Lex Luger vs. Yokozuna

And here we go. Yoko’s entrance takes FOREVER. Luger of course gets the pop of pops as he enters to Stars and Stripes Forever. This is easily one of Yoko’s best matches ever. Luger wasn’t much, but he could fight big guys with the best of them. His power game worked perfectly against Yoko, and when it’s USA vs. the evil foreigner, it’s hard to mess it up. WWF managed to screw up the ending, but not the match.

I can sum up this whole match with ease: Bobby Heenan praises Lex Luger. Heenan, perhaps the greatest heel manager of all time, is praising a face. Luger kicks out of everything but never quite hulks up. The crowd is red hot the whole match, which runs nearly 18 minutes for easily one of Yoko’s longest. He’s moving really well here as he hadn’t ballooned to his massive girth yet. The idea is that Yoko simply can’t put him away no matter how close he gets but he can’t hit the Drop either.

They beat on each other with Luger making comeback after comeback but never being able to slam Yoko. After Heenan is losing his voice, Luger makes his final comeback and “slams” Yoko. Heenan screams that it was a hip block, which is actually more impressive as you’re slamming someone using one arm instead of two, but who am I to poke at the Brain? Now, we get to the ending, which for the life of me might be the stupidiest thing I’ve ever seen.

Luger hits the steel forearm and knocks Yoko out of the ring and out cold, drawing the count out. Why? What in the world was the point of not giving Luger the belt here? The tag line of the show was “Someone has to stop him” with a picture of Yoko Banzai Dropping the American flag. Dude, this was a layup and they blew it. Seriously, why would you not give Luger the belt in this case?

He was wildly over, he had a whole storyline that lasted all summer, and the buildup was perfect for that Hogan/Andre moment. However, they waited 8 months to give Luger another shot and in between Luger feuded with Yoko and Fuji’s team still. Why not give him the belt here? For the life of me I do not understand this booking.

Luger may not be a great worker but the fans were WAY into him and the storyline would have been perfect. Anyway, of course we have balloons and confetti falling as Luger and Savage celebrate winning nothing to go off the air.

Rating: B-. This is a fine example of a match that needs two ratings, one for the match and one for the ending. The match was actually pretty good but the ending makes no sense at all. I’ve ranted on it already so I’ll spare you another one here. Yoko looked excellent here and far better than usual.

Luger was feeling it out there as this was one of his better matches, despite using his old stuff. In this case it worked and the crowd was hyped. Very good match that if it had a legitimate finish could have saved the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show just sucks. Nothing of note happens, the matches are just head scratchers, and the ending is AWFUL. The show just has nothing huge happening at all as Bret’s matches were a combination of solid but random and short but intense. Taker was a feud that I though ended half a year ago. Shawn’s match was good but forgettable, and I’ve ranted on the main event already. Just a bad show overall which is reflective of the company as a whole at this point. Avoid this.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Halloween Havoc 1991
Date: October 27, 1991
Location: UTC Arena, Chattanooga, Tennessee
Attendance: 8,900
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone

We’re a year after the not very scary Halloween Havoc 1990 and now we move on to the much scarier 1991 version. Tonight we have Lex Luger, the now heel world champion, facing Ron Simmons. Other than that we have a guy here called the Halloween Phantom, who is a new star debuting tonight. Well new to WCW at least. The reveal is pretty awesome though. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is of a haunted house with ghostly images of wrestlers superimposed over it.

We open up outside with Eric Bischoff acting as a kind of greeter I guess. Cactus Jack and Abdullah show up with the Butcher in a tie. DDP and Diamond Studd (Scott Hall) arrive. Dustin Rhodes and Barry Windham show up but the Enforcers (Larry Zbyszko and Arn Anderson) come up and crush Barry’s hand in the car door, which puts him out of his match later tonight. I think Barry was legit hurt and this is how they wrote him off TV for awhile.

Cactus Jack/Abdullah The Butcher/Diamond Studd/Big Van Vader vs. Steiner Brothers/El Gignate/Sting

Oh boy it’s the Chamber of Horrors. Now if you’ve never heard of this, clear some room off your list of absurd gimmicks. This is inside a cage similar to the Cell, although there’s no top on it and the holes in the cage are bigger. Inside are coffins, skeletons and a few weapons. The idea of the match is that everyone is fighting at once and at some point during the match, an electric chair will lower from the ceiling. Someone must be placed in the chair, strapped down and someone from the other team has to throw a switch, “electrocuting” them. And somehow, it’ll be even dumber than it sounds.

Oh and Gigante is replacing the injured Windham and Cactus is replacing Oz, although Oz will be in a match later and apparently Oz replaced Jack in that match. No idea why they made the switch. Jack comes out with a chainsaw minus the chain. Sting is US Champion here and yes, this is really what they’re using him for. Cactus jumps Sting on the ramp and Abdullah helps, but Rick comes out for the save. This is before we’re even in the cage. Well Rick was but he left because it’s just a cage so why should it be hard to stay inside?

In the ring Scott kills the Studd with a Tiger Driver while Gigante fights Vader. Sting gets a kendo stick to pound away on everyone he sees. Well everyone that isn’t on his team that is. Or the referee either. Speaking of the referee, he has a camera on his head here which is really more annoying than anything else. That could be an interesting idea for an angle but it never went anywhere.

People in masks pop out of those caskets. They don’t do anything but they pop out anyway. Sting clotheslines Vader to the floor and Gigante pulls Studd off of the cage wall. The Steiners hit their top rope DDT on Cactus as the chair is lowered. Vader knocks Rick into the chair but Rick clotheslines his way out of it. Sting throws a casket lid up in the air so it lands on Cactus’ head.

Now we have ghouls coming out with a stretcher. Again they don’t do anything but they’re there. Scott shatters a kendo stick over Cactus’ head, breaking him open. Cactus and Sting climb the cage and ram each other into it, which is one of the few actual clear brawls in the match. The rest of it is too hard to call because of the awful camera work. Sting has the stick now and stabs Hall with it.

It’s pretty much impossible to call this match as everything is all over the place and it’s just random brawling. Sting is busted open, as is Abdullah. Cactus goes for the switch as Rick is put in the chair, but the future Freakzilla makes the save. The heels get Rick into the chair for a second but he fights out of it pretty quickly. He gets put in there again and Cactus goes for the switch. Steiner suplexes Abdullah into the chair instead and after Cactus takes FOREVER to stand next to the switch, he throws the lever and Abdullah gets “electrocuted.”

Rating: W. As in wow, what were they smoking, or why. You can pick whichever you like and I think it’ll be fine. This was a huge mess but to me, this is pure nostalgia. I haven’t seen this match in years but I still remember about 80% of the commentary word for word. The match is terrible and incredibly stupid but it’s a fond memory for me so I can’t hate it.

Cactus checks on Abdullah post match but the Butcher gets up and beats up the ghouls that brought out the stretcher earlier.

Eric and Missy (Dracula/showgirl) debate who the Phantom is. The Young Pistols don’t care who it is. They want the US Tag Titles and are heels now.

Big Josh/PN News vs. The Creatures

The Creatures are generic masked guys, one of which is Joey Maggs and the other is Johnny Rich, the latter of which you don’t need to know. Josh is a wilderness guy and News is a fat white guy in lime green that raps. Josh starts with let’s say Creature #1. The Creatures double team Josh but it’s off to News to clean house. The fat man hits a dropkick followed by using the power of fat in the corner. Back to Josh for a bit before News comes in to miss a splash. Instead of the Creatures taking over, it’s back to Josh. Josh runs them over, hits the Northern Exposure (Earthquake) and a top rope splash from News pins #1.

Rating: F+. Another bad match here but without the fun levels of the previous one. The Creatures were never seen again of course and the other two didn’t go anywhere other than to comedy land. I really need to get back to modern wrestling where the filler matches at least have a point at times.

Terrance Taylor vs. Bobby Eaton

This should be good. Taylor slaps him around to start so Eaton offers him a free shot. Eaton is the face here and it’s still York Foundation time for Taylor. He takes Eaton down with an armdrag but the second one is countered. Bobby speeds things up and Taylor bails to the floor. They go to the floor and Eaton is sent into the barricade, but he backdrops Taylor over the railing and into the crowd for a second.

Back in and Taylor tries to hide. Eaton blasts him with a right hand for two and it’s off to a hammerlock. Rooster Boy gets out with a jawbreaker and they go to the ramp. Eaton slams him down and hits a knee/splash off the top to crush Taylor. Back in and Taylor sends him through the ropes and into the barricade again. Taylor uses the break to go over to the computer and York for more assistance.

The solution is apparently a corner clothesline followed by a knee drop for two. They head to the ramp again and Eaton is put down by a gutwrench powerbomb. Eaton slowly gets back in and takes a top rope splash for two. We hit the chinlock which is broken somewhat quickly but a knee to the ribs stops it dead. Taylor gets some more computer advice and apparently is willing to settle for the countout.

That doesn’t work and Bobby comes off the top with a sunset flip for two. Off to a reverse chinlock by Taylor but Eaton comes out of it with a jawbreaker, just like Taylor did to him earlier. Taylor’s Vader Bomb hits knees and it’s time for Bobby’s comeback. He pounds away in the corner and suplexes Taylor down for two. A swinging neckbreaker puts Terry down but Eaton goes up and gets crotched. Taylor’s superplex is broken up and Eaton hits the Alabama Jam for the pin.

Rating: B. This was a great back and forth match. It’s amazing how much more bearable Taylor is when he isn’t acting like a bird. The computer gimmick got annoying after awhile but having him wrestle straight worked pretty well. This wasn’t quite a masterpiece but it was a very solid sixteen minute match and a nice change of pace.

Jimmy Garvin vs. Johnny B. Badd

Michael Hayes is here but he has a bad arm. Johnny is gay here but we can’t say gay so we call him “very flamboyant.” Teddy Long is still in the ring when the bell rings. They speed things up to start and Badd is sent to the floor. Back in the ring and Garvin (who is apparently a face here which I hadn’t picked up on until now) runs him over with a forearm to send Badd back outside.

Garvin works over the arm but Badd pounds away with fists. He chokes off a Teddy distraction and uses some very basic offense. A flying sunset flip is mostly messed up and it gets two. A top rope elbow gets two. Garvin dumps him over the top and nothing happens out there. Back in and they collide but Garvin beats him to his feet. The DDT hits but Teddy has the referee. The left hooks from Badd gets the pin.

Rating: D-. This really didn’t work at all. Badd was still very green at this point and it was clear that he wasn’t ready for a spot like this. Garvin was old and not very good either, although he never quite was anything special in the ring. This was supposed to be a showcase match for Badd but it came off as more boring than anything else. Badd would get WAY better in a few years though.

Missy harasses Bobby Eaton about who the Phantom is and when he doesn’t know, she whines. Was she supposed to be adorable or something?

TV Title: Steve Austin vs. Dustin Rhodes

Dustin is challenging. JR says that if he was starting a company, he would pick Steve Austin as his #1 draft pick. See why people say he knows his stuff? Rhodes takes him down quickly but Austin runs to the ropes to hide. A shoulder puts Dustin down and a clothesline does the same to Austin. They go to the mat and Dustin’s grandparents are here apparently.

They keep going back and forth with basic stuff until Dustin clotheslines him to the floor. That again isn’t a DQ for whatever reason. Either way we get to see Lady Blossom’s rocking cleavage for a bit so it’s not a bad thing at all. Back in and Austin suplexes him down for two. Dustin’s bulldog is countered so he settles for a headlock takeover instead. Austin finally counters into a headscissors as things slow way down.

Back up and they run the ropes a bit, but Dustin misses a cross body and crashes out to the floor. Somewhere in there Dustin got busted open badly. Austin pounds away on it and hits a gutwrench suplex for two back in the ring. It’s amazing how different Austin is back here. He’s a mat wrestler who barely ever throws a punch. Off to a chinlock and the cameraman cuts over to Lady Blossom and the camera pans down to her chest in a shot that I don’t think was supposed to be seen on the broadcast.

The clock is winding down as we have less than four minutes to go and Dustin is in trouble. They trade small packages and Dustin takes him down with a clothesline, getting two. Lady Blossom (who is a dead ringer for Debra) slaps Dustin in the face but Austin’s charge misses. A second lariat gets two as Austin gets his foot on the rope. Back to the floor and Austin goes into the post with less than two minutes left. Powerslam gets two for the Natural as does the Bionic Elbow with a minute left. Austin is reeling with 30 seconds to go. Dustin goes up and hits a top rope lariat for two as the bell rings.

Rating: B-. This was a pretty good match although the ending was pretty obvious. Austin would hold that title for the better part of a year before trading it with Barry Windham and Ricky Steamboat. Having these fifteen minute matches with other talented guys had a lot to do with Austin becoming one of the best in ring workers ever. This was solid stuff.

Bill Kazmaier vs. Oz

Oz doesn’t have the big elaborate entrance anymore. Kazmaier was a legit World’s Strongest Man, having won the official competition three times in the 80s. He comes to the ring with an Earth shaped balloon on his back. This was supposed to be Cactus Jack vs. Kaz but Jack wanted to be in the cage. This is power vs. size and less power with the shorter guy dominating early. They do a test of strength and Big Sexy (Oz is Nash if you were one of the handful of people that didn’t know that) takes over. A belly to back suplex gets two for Oz. Kaz skins the cat, hits a shoulder block and wins with a torture rack.

Rating: D. Whatever man. This was just a quick match to I believe end the Oz character, or at least put another bullet into it. Once they realized how dumb the thing was they dropped it and turned him into Vinnie Vegas which was way more appropriate for him anyway. Kazmaier never did anything and retired in January of the following year.

Van Hammer vs. Doug Somers

Van Hammer has only been here about a month and we’re still in the squash period for him. Somers is yet another replacement, in this case taking the place of the injured Michael Hayes. The match barely breaks a minute and Hammer wins with a slingshot suplex.

Brian Pillman says he wants the Light Heavyweight Title more than anything.

Richard Morton, part of the York Foundation, says this is the first of many titles for the Foundation.

Light Heavyweight Title: Brian Pillman vs. Richard Morton

This is a tournament final to crown a first ever champion. Nick Patrick has that stupid head camera on again. Morton keeps running from Pillman which probably isn’t that bad of an idea. Brian slams him down and hits a spinwheel kick to send Morton out to the floor. Back in and Pillman goes to the middle rope for a double ax followed by taking it to the mat with a series of headlocks.

A good example of why the referee camera is stupid: Pillman has him down and all we can see is his arm going down. Why would I want to see that? Pillman throws Morton around with armdrags and then it’s back to the headlock. O’Connor Roll gets two for Brian. Morton works on the arm…..and keeps working on the arm…..then works on the arm some more. It’s all the same hold so this is taking forever.

Pillman finally fights up and we go to a wide shot of the crowd instead of focusing on the match. A clothesline puts Morton down and the fans aren’t all that impressed. An enziguri puts Morton down as does a backdrop. Pillman fires off some chops and they collide, sending both guys out to the floor. Pillman has his shoulder rammed into the post and he’s in trouble. Not that it matters though as they go back in and the top rope cross body gives Pillman the title.

Rating: D. This was REALLY boring. Morton isn’t used to being on offense and it’s easy to see that he’s out of practice. There’s a reason that the face getting the tar kicked out of him is called playing Ricky Morton. The title never went anywhere and would be retired in about a year. It would be resurrected in about four years and have its name changed to the Cruiserweight Title, which would work a little bit better.

Z-Man vs. WCW Halloween Havoc Phantom

He looks like the Phantom of the Opera and comes out to the theme from the movie/musical of the same name. The announcers think they know they guy’s style but they can’t place it. A neckbreaker gets the pin in less than a minute and a half. Tony says the name of the finisher, complete with the name of the person using it and the identity of the Phantom, but I’ll save the surprise for later.

Tag Titles: Enforcers vs. Patriots

The Enforcers are defending and are Arn Anderson and Larry Zbyszko. The Patriots are Todd Champion and Firebreaker Chip and are also the US Tag Champions, but their titles aren’t on the line here. For the sake of simplicity, if I say champions here, I only will be referring to the Enforcers. Chip, who looks like he has an entire steroid store inside him, hooks a quick abdominal stretch but Larry escapes.

Zbyszko is getting frustrated so he brings in Anderson. Off to the much taller Todd Champion but Anderson punches him down with ease. Todd gets sent to the apron but he low bridges Anderson to the floor, which again isn’t a DQ. Back in the ring and Anderson gets caught in a bearhug but Larry breaks it up. Everything breaks down and the Enforcers are knocked to the floor.

Larry comes in to face Todd and guess what Larry does. Just take a guess. After running from Todd he makes a blind tag to Anderson who dumps Todd to the floor. Larry rams him into the barricade to take over and the Patriots are in trouble. Anderson puts a knee into the chest and it’s back to Larry. Neckbreaker gets two. Todd pounds on Anderson but Arn makes a blind tag to bring Larry back in. Larry gets caught in a suplex and it’s a double tag to Arn and Chip. Everything breaks down and Chip runs into Larry, allowing Anderson to spinebust him in half for the pin to retain.

Rating: D. This was another boring match with the Patriots being in there because the Enforcers needed a challenger. The match wasn’t any good at all and the Patriots clearly weren’t very good. Chip looked like he was about to explode with all of those bulging muscles on a small frame too.

We go down to Eric Bischoff who has Paul E. Dangerously and Madusa with him. Paul has earth shattering news for us. He’s tired of the booking committee saying that he’s too controversial and getting thrown off the commentary team. In the words of Bugs Bunny, of course you know this means war. While he doesn’t have a commentator’s license, he does still have a manager’s license. That’s how he’s going to take apart the company: by going through the company’s heroes one by one, starting with the biggest hero of all: Sting.

Paul brings out the WCW Halloween Phantom as his new top guy and says that the man behind the mask will be the only one on the planet that can bankrupt the company and buy it so he can fire everyone he doesn’t like. The Phantom takes the mask off and it’s…..RICK RUDE. He’s gotten a major haircut and looks evil now instead of stupid. Rude says all he cares about is himself, his women and his money. His money man has a problem with WCW and therefore this company needs to come down.

Rude talks about how he’s never had the chance to face Sting and wants to know if he’s as small as he looks on TV. Rude is coming for the US Title. AWESOME reveal here and it would set the stage for the next eight months of top level feuding in the company. On top of that, Rude was a completely different man in WCW, going from being basically a comedy heel in the WWF to being a killer in WCW. He would be the top heel in the company by February and would be that man for months afterwords.

We get a video on Ron Simmons going back to Florida State to train for his world title match tonight. Florida State head football coach Bobby Bowden says Simmons is ready.

WCW World Title: Ron Simmons vs. Lex Luger

Luger is defending and has Harley Race with him while Simmons has Dusty Rhodes for no apparent reason. This is 2/3 falls. Feeling out process to start and they trade hammerlocks. Simmons tries a dropkick but misses completely to give Lex the advantage. Ron comes back with a facejam and snaps off a powerslam for no cover. The spinebuster gets the first fall in about five minutes total. That came out of nowhere and we have a one minuet rest period.

Simmons slams him down onto the back again and whips him into the corner time after time to have Luger hiding in the corner. Let’s talk about the Braves, who are playing in the World Series at the same time as this show. A sunset flip gets two for Simmons and Race is freaking out. Simmons misses a charge and Luger sends him flying out to the floor. Back in and an elbow drop gets two for the champion.

Lex hits a powerslam of his own for one because his back is too messed up to cover fully. Off to a chinlock as Luger tries to buy himself a breather. Simmons fights back with elbows and punches before grabbing a rollup for two. A backslide does the same and Luger is getting in more and more trouble every second. Race distracts Ron so Dusty gives him the big elbow. In a HORRIBLY STUPID MOMENT, Luger charges at Simmons who is on the ropes. Race holds Simmons against the ropes and Lex falls to the floor, AND THAT’S A DQ. That rule was so stupid that I can’t fathom it at times.

After another rest period it’s the third fall. Simmons is ready to go while Luger is sucking wind. The champion gets in a sucker punch and goes on a big rush of offense. He’s also bleeding from under his right eye. Simmons shrugs that off and pounds away in the corner. A clothesline gets two. Luger knees him in the ribs and Simmons is slowed down almost immediately. A powerslam puts Luger right back down and a middle rope shoulder puts Lex on the outside. Simmons’ shoulder hits the post and we go back inside so the piledriver can get the pin for Luger to retain.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t big on this one. This felt more like a really big TV main event rather than a PPV main event. Simmons would become a lot bigger soon enough and would get the title off Vader in 1992. The DQ here was just freaking dumb as there were far worse throws earlier in the night, but it made sense here because it needed to. Not a very good match but I’ve seen worse.

The announcers talk a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This wasn’t the worst show ever but there’s really nothing on it that you need to see. Luger would leave in February so he was a lame duck champion for the next three or four months. Sting would thankfully go from this to something worthwhile by doing ANYTHING but being in that cage match. Also the Dangerous Alliance was coming and that’s nothing but gold. This wasn’t much but there are far worse shows.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Great American Bash 1991
Date: July 14, 1991
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jim Ross

Off to the other end of the spectrum for the final WCW PPV. This show is widely considered to be the worst pay per view of all time. That’s the case for multiple reasons, but we’ll start with there are no good matches. Sting’s match is ok at best and that’s the match of the night. More importantly though, this is nicknamed the Flair Protest Show. This requires a backstory.

Back then, WCW was still in the NWA and Flair was NWA Champion until a few weeks before this show. The front office wanted Flair, the world champion, to be dropped down to the midcard. We’ll ignore that he was still one of the most over and best workers in the company at that point. The main event was set to be Flair vs. Luger for the world title in a cage, and you have to remember something about that: Luger had NEVER beaten Flair. Luger chased Flair and the title for years on end but never beat him. Not once. This was supposed to be the culmination of the whole feud with Luger FINALLY beating Flair.

So anyway, two weeks before this show Flair was told to take less money or bail. Flair, realizing that Vince would love to get his hands on the WCW and NWA World Champion, said see ya and went to the WWF. That left WCW with no champion, so they made Luger vs. Windham the world title match. The problem here is that Windham was nowhere near the world title level as he had been a tag team wrestler for about two years at this point. In other words, no matter who the new champion was, there was no reason to accept him.

Translation: Flair is gone, the fans are MAD, and there’s no way the winner of the match is going to be accepted as champion. For the life of me I’ve never gotten why they didn’t throw Sting in there. He was world champion a few months before this, but instead they went with Barry Windham. It amazes me that this company stayed alive as long as it did with a front office that would FIRE THE WORLD CHAMPION TWO WEEKS BEFORE THE SHOW. Let’s get to it.

To give you an idea of what we’re dealing with here: the dark match was Junkyard Dog vs. Black Bart, running THIRTEEN MINUTES.

We open with a long tracking shot into the arena where the cameraman buys his tickets. I remember watching this when I was a kid.

Bobby Eaton/PN News vs. Steve Austin/Terrence Taylor

Now those are some pretty weird teams. Austin is TV Champion and has Lady Blossom and her rack of AWESOME with him. Oh, and this is a SCAFFOLD match. It’s the capture the flag version too, meaning that you have to have these guys crawl across the scaffold, get the flag and bring it back to the other side. You can also shove both opponents off the scaffold but since that would be entertaining, that’s not going to happen.

The heels (Austin and Taylor) stall for fear of going up and possibly, you know, dying. After a few minutes we’re ready to “go”. Eaton walks out to the middle and Taylor inches out to him. The scaffold is MAYBE three feet wide so they’re barely able to move. Austin comes out and they stand around a bit more. Actually there is a reason for these two to be fighting: Eaton lost the TV Title to Austin.

Austin almost falls down as we’re waiting for contact. Their hands touch after thirty seconds and Austin hits a weak punch. Eaton slams Austin’s head into the scaffold, drawing Taylor out to help. This match is almost two minutes in now so you can see what I’m dealing with here. The fat man (News) comes out after Austin so Austin backs up again. Taylor comes out instead and News shoves him into Austin at the end of the scaffold, shaking the whole thing.

News and Austin fight in the corner as Taylor and Eaton go to the other side. There are railings there which give the guys a bit more security so they don’t have to be so worried about falling. Oh and the flags are the same colors so you can’t tell which is which anyway. News and Eaton are both on their stomachs and you can see that the scaffold is a freaking piece of plywood.

All four go into the heel corner so Eaton grabs the flag and casually walks across for the win. Wait that isn’t a win as Eaton comes back with the flag. Lady Blossom hands Austin some spray of some sort which blinds both of Austin’s opponents. Not that it matters as Eaton and News are declared the winners anyway.

Rating: Agoobwa. WOW. I didn’t think it was possible for an opening match to be this horrible. I was very, very wrong. I mean……WHAT IN THE FREAKING WORLD WERE THEY THINKING??? You had four guys (one of them over 400lbs) who were afraid that they would fall and break a major limb and you give them three feet to walk around on? Back in the 80s they had some of these and while they sucked, at least there were A, falls and B, A REASON FOR THE GUYS TO FIGHT! Horrible, horrible thing (it’s certainly not a wrestling match) but this isn’t on the guys in it one bit. They did all they could out there safely.

They brawl post match with News and Eaton clearing the ring.

Jim and a blonde Tony talk about Flair bailing and basically bury him because they have to, because JR and even freaking Tony are smart enough to realize that was a bad idea.

Paul E and Arn Anderson are here and they’re ready for the mixed tag in the cage tonight against Rick Steiner and Missy Hyatt. It should be Missy vs. Dangerously but they threw Rick and Arn in there to give it a chance to not be awful. Anderson is going to take care of Steiner and then it’s man vs. woman, and that’s one sided, according to Paul E at least. Anderson says if you put him in a cage like a criminal, he’ll commit the criminal act of aggravated assault. That guy was such gold on the mic. Speaking of mics, the guy holding it here is the debuting Eric Bischoff.

Jim and Tony talk in depth about the rest of the show to fill time so the scaffold can be taken down.

Diamond Studd vs. Z-Man

Diamond Studd is more famous as Scott Hall and his manager is Diamond Dallas Page. Some chick gets to rip Studd’s pants off pre match. Z-Man comes out with a bunch of chicks for some reason. He dives in to take out both guys with a clothesline and we start fast. Z-Man takes over to start but Page quickly low bridges him to the floor. Studd sends him into the crowd and pounds away.

Back in and they slug it out with Studd taking over. He pounds away with right hands but Z-Man hits a cross body for two. Studd rams in shoulders in the corner followed by his signature abdominal stretch. Z-Man finally breaks it but misses an elbow drop to stop his comeback cold. Studd clotheslines him down and kneels on him for two, but since he’s posing it lets Z-Man sunset flip him down for two. A second sunset flip attempt is countered by a right hand and they head to the floor.

Z-Man starts his real comeback on the floor, sending Studd onto the barricade like Studd did to him earlier. They go back in and Z-Man hits one of the worst looking missile dropkicks I’ve ever seen. Page gets involved again, but this time he gets pulled into the ring. The distraction works well enough for Studd to suplex Z-Man for the pin, thank goodness.

Rating: D-. What a dull match. Studd would get better, but at this point there was nothing there. Z-Man was kind of the Kofi of his day, minus the talent or the unique look or the resume. Basically he was young and popular and could have a decent match. This however wasn’t the case as it was about 7 minutes of punching and little more. I’m already in a bad mood after the opener and this isn’t helping at all.

Ron Simmons vs. Oz

Oz is Kevin Nash in exactly what his name suggests: a Wizard of Oz gimmick. The backdrop (a castle) looks AWESOME but the idea is kind of destroyed when it shakes because it’s a curtain. Turner had gotten the rights to Wizard of Oz and if this worked, it was going to be followed by a Rhett Butler character. This is I think Oz’s third match and he still has Merlin the Wizard (why they combined the legend of King Arthur with the Wizard of Oz was never quite explained) played by Kevin Sullivan with him. Simmons gets BY FAR the biggest reaction of the night so far and it’s nothing special.

Nash uses his power game to start but Ron is just fine with that. They ram into each other and it’s a standoff. That went so well that they do it again. The third time Oz smartens up and kicks Ron’s head off. Ron drop toeholds him down and Nash stumbles down to the mat. That looked awful. We get the accurate boring chant so Simmons starts firing off some clotheslines. He finally knocks Nash to the floor and the fans actually react.

Back in and they do what happens in every power match: a test of strength. Why do you never see someone like Miz do one of those? Simmons gets in trouble so he suplexes his way out of it. A dropkick misses and Oz clotheslines him back down to take over again. Nash hits a mostly bad looking side slam for two. Merlin kicks Ron in the ribs while he’s on the floor to remind us that he’s alive. Nash’s headhug is quickly broken and three shoulder blocks get the pin on Oz.

Rating: D. Oh man I’m in for a long night. We’re somehow only 45 minutes into this show and it’s already this bad. Simmons was good and on fire at this point, but he’s fighting a guy based on the Wizard of Oz. How in the world is he supposed to do anything with that? Also hitting three shoulders in a row is a lame ending. Somehow, this is by far the best match of the night so far.

Here’s the WCW Top Ten.

10. Johnny B. Badd

9. Ron Simmons

8. Diamond Studd

7. ElGigante

6. Arn Anderson

5. Bobby Eaton

4. Steve Austin

3. Sting

2. Barry Windham

1. Lex Luger

I feel so much better now that I know that. You do too right?

Richard Morton vs. Robert Gibson

Gibson had been out with a knee injury and while he was gone, Morton turned corporate (complete with the long platinum blonde hair still of course) and beat up Gibson, so here’s the grudge match that I don’t think anyone was asking for. Gibson jumps him on the ramp and Morton bails to the floor. Morton gets in and slides right back to the apron, so Gibson brings him back in. That lasts about a second as Gibson knocks him right back to the outside.

Back in and Richard grabs a headlock. That gets him nowhere so let’s stall again! To give you an idea of the times, this is in the middle of July and the next PPV is in October. Can you imagine going four months between PPVs today? Morton finally wakes up and goes after the recently repaired knee, wrapping it around the post and slamming it into the apron. He puts on a leg lock and we’re going to be here for awhile.

Morton switches to a spinning toe hold but Gibson counters into a small package for two. Back to the basic leg lock and then into a Figure Four. HOKEY SMOKE IT’S ON THE CORRECT LEG! I’m in shock. The hold completely sucks but at least it’s on the right leg (in both senses of the word). Gibson finally rolls it over but Morton gets a quick rope. The bad leg gets rammed into the apron again and Gibson can barely stand up.

Back to the leg lock on the mat which is getting pretty dull. Morton takes the knee pad and leg brace off of the bad leg so Gibson punches him in the face. Well you can’t say he’s over thinking it. He hits Morton in the face with the brace and goes to the ropes to get himself a breather. Morton kicks him in the knee again and works on it like Ric Flair if Flair had longer hair. JR talks about how this isn’t the match they expected which is true. It’s not awful but it’s not what you think of when it’s the Rock N Roll Express going at it.

Morton works on the knee even more but Gibson grabs a DDT out of nowhere to put Morton down and wake the crowd up a bit. Gibson tries a dropkick but due to the knee, there’s nothing on it and Morton takes over again. Morton goes up but gets slammed down (there must be more to that Flair thing than I thought). Gibson hits an enziguri to put Morton down and out to the ramp. Gibson follows and they both try dropkicks. Alexandra York (Morton’s manager, more famous as Terri) distracts the referee, allowing Morton to hit Gibson with the computer York carries with her for the pin.

Rating: D+. That’s being generous, but at this point I’ll take ANYTHING. The match wasn’t anything great, but the psychology worked which is about all you can ask from this show. At the end of the day, I don’t think the fans wanted to see the RNRE fight, which is a big problem in a match like this. There never was a breakout star from this team, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

The Young Pistols and Dustin Rhodes say they’ll win.

Young Pistols/Dustin Rhodes vs. Freebirds

The Pistols are Tracy Smothers and Steve Armstrong (later named the Southern Boys) while the Birds are Hayes/Garvin/Badstreet, who is Brad Armstrong (Steve’s real life brother) in a mask. The Birds are the US Tag and Six Man Tag Champions and this is elimination rules. Rhodes and Hayes get us going and I guess you can call them the captains. Hayes spends the first minute gyrating and strutting. Rhodes does the same thing which is funny but still time wasting.

They finally make contact with some chops followed by Dustin slamming both of the regular team members. The Birds chill on the floor and Hayes yells at the crowd a bit. To his credit it gets the crowd to start a short Freebirds Suck chant, which is one of the first of the night. Garvin hits Rhodes in the back so Hayes can take over. The Birds hit the Pistols so Dustin takes both Birds down, allowing the Pistols to hit top rope shoulders. The Freebirds go to the floor again as things pause for the third time in less than four minutes.

Off to Garvin vs. Smothers and the Birds take more time to pose. Tracy hits a dropkick but misses his second, giving Garvin control again. Off to Armstrong who slams his brother off the top, followed by a BIG top rope clothesline. Badstreet goes to the floor and things stall again. Hayes comes in and it’s back to Smothers who works on the arm. Badstreet messes with Tracy enough to bring him to the floor where Tracy runs into a clothesline from Big Daddy Dink, the Birds’ manager.

Smothers finally gets back up to the apron but Hayes drops him with a right hand. We finally get back in and Garvin pounds away on him a bit. Off to Badstreet who dances in and clotheslines Tracy down. Hayes comes back in with a sleeper, which might be the most appropriate move that he could do. Tracy finally breaks out of it and gets a bit of offense in, only to run into a GREAT left hand to put him down.

Back to Garvin who gets two off a snap mare and hooks a chinlock. The fans chant what sounds like Gordy as Badstreet comes in and hits a neckbreaker for two on Smothers. Back to Hayes for some chops in the corner and a BIG left to drop Tracy. Hayes may be annoying but he can throw a mean left. The DDT is blocked though and there’s the tag to Armstrong. Everything breaks down and Armstrong goes for Badstreet’s mask. That lets Hayes and Badstreet hit a double DDT to eliminate Steve.

Maybe five seconds later, Hayes backdrops Tracy over the top rope to eliminate him (Hayes) by DQ. Garvin tags Badstreet in to slam Tracy, followed by a top rope ax handle. Back to Garvin and here’s Dink on the apron. Due to the distraction the tag to Dustin is missed, so the Birds DDT Armstrong to eliminate him. Again maybe five seconds later, Dustin clotheslines Garvin’s head off to get it down to one on one. So it’s Rhodes vs. Badstreet with the masked man in control. Dustin comes back with the lariat but Dink distracts the referee again. And never mind as the bulldog gets the pin to give Rhodes’ team the win.

Rating: D. This was another match that was long and boring. When the best thing in the match is a few left hands from Michael Hayes, you can tell you don’t have much. Dustin was brand new at this point and he had nothing as a result. The match here wasn’t so much bad as it was boring, which at this point is the worst thing they could have done out there.

Yellow Dog vs. Johnny B. Badd

This is Badd’s first big match. Dog is Brian Pillman under a mask after losing a loser leaves town match. Being a dog enthusiast was the best they could come up with for him too. Badd is basically gay here and a heel. These two had an incredible match at Fall Brawl 1995, so there might be some hope here. The Dog yells into the camera that JOHNNY BE GAY.

Badd slams him down a few times as Tony tries to explain that Dog is a big Pillman fan but not Pillman. Dog chops Badd to the floor and we stall a bit. Back in and Dog gets a rollup for two. Badd misses a clothesline and gets dropkicked into Teddy who was on the apron for no apparent reason. They go to the floor and Badd runs Dog over with a clothesline to take over.

Back in and Dog misses a cross body, allowing Badd to hit his top rope sunset flip for two. A jawbreaker puts Badd down but Badd hits a jumping knee. The crowd is DEAD here. Dog hits a release German to put both guys down and the fans still don’t care. A spinwheel kick knocks Badd down again and there’s the cross body off the top, which brings in Teddy for the DQ.

Rating: F. Brian Pillman is wrestling as the Yellow Dog and the ending was a run-in DQ. There is no other word for this other than failure so that’s the grade that it’s going to get. This was another nothing match in a series of them tonight. I have no idea what they were thinking with this dog stuff but it ended soon.

Eric tries to talk to Missy Hyatt in her locker room but he walks in on her attendant reading her a card from Jason Hervey. That goes nowhere so Eric walks in on her in the shower. Eric knew she was in it and walked in anyway. What a perv.

Big Josh vs. Black Blood

Blood is Billy Jack Haynes as an executioner under a mask. This is a lumberjack match for no apparent reason. Josh, a woodsman, has women with him for some reason. Blood jumps him to start and throws Josh to the outside for some heel interference. He throws Josh to the face side but that gets the expected response.

They trade chops and Josh dropkicks him down to take over. He knocks Blood to the floor twice, just like Blood did to him and for the same reactions. Josh gets knocked to the floor again and the lumberjacks finally get into the brawl. Blood drops a leg but Josh gets a boot up. Josh charges into a boot as the lumberjacks get into it again. Blood gets his ax but Dustin hits him in the knee with a piece of wood, giving Josh a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D+. I don’t know if it’s because the rest of the show has been so dreadful, but I was liking this. Blood had a good look to him and he was TRYING out there man. The match sucked because it was about the lumberjacks and there was no feud at all that I know of between the guys in the ring, but Blood was trying which is more than I can say for almost anyone else tonight.

El Gigante vs. One Man Gang

Gang is in a freaky monster look here with insane hair for no apparent reason. His manager Kevin Sullivan talks forever on the way to the ring about a death wagon. Gigante has four midgets with him for no apparent reason. Sullivan and Gang cut Gigante’s hair prior to this. The small guys get on Gang’s nerves until Sullivan hits one and we’re ready to go. Gang runs to the ramp but is quickly thrown back in.

Gang rams into Gigante and that goes nowhere. Gigante hiptosses him and hits the worst shoulders in the corner you’ll ever see. Gang avoids a corner charge and hits a middle rope clothesline to put Gigante on the ropes. Gang finds a wrench from somewhere and beats on Gigante with it which goes nowhere either. He rams the wrench into Gigante over and over but the giant won’t go down.

FINALLY some knee shots put him down and Gang works on that a bit. A splash gets two and Gigante throws Gang to the apron on the kickout. Gang gets slammed off the top, suplexed, rammed into Sullivan, has powder kicked into his face and gets clotheslined in the back of his head for the pin.

Rating: F. You know, I used to love El Gigante as a kid, but he makes Great Khali look like Daniel Bryan. I know that sounds like it’s way over the top, but I kid you not he was that bad. This was a terrible match as Gigante can’t sell anything, he has a bad arsenal, and even he couldn’t get the fans to wake up. Remembering that he was probably the second biggest face in the company at this point, that says a lot.

We recap the Sting vs. Koloff match, which started at SuperBrawl where Koloff was aiming for Luger with his chain but Sting shoved him out of the way and the chain hit Sting. Koloff jumped Sting on TV, then he did it again. Sting was mad and this is the result.

Sting vs. Nikita Koloff

This is a Russian Chain match and it’s the four corners version. If this, the hottest feud in the company at the time, doesn’t get the fans going, nothing is going to. Sting, the guy that should be in the main event, gets a huge pop of course. Koloff gets in his face to start and they fire some rather low kicks at each other. Out to the floor and Koloff gets dropped on the railing. The idea here is that Koloff is the master of the Russian chain match so Sting is out of his element.

Back in and Sting rams Koloff’s head into the buckle as I’m amazed that the crowd is actually responding to this stuff. After a quick bit of Sting dominance on the floor they head back in and Sting gets two corners but Nikita breaks his momentum and therefore the streak. The idea is you have to get all four corners in a row but you can’t have your momentum broken.

Out to the floor again and Nikita hits a clothesline with the chain to take over. Sting uses the chain to pull Koloff into the post. Momentum is shifting back and forth fast in this. Back inside and Koloff pounds him down again as it shifts again. These advantages aren’t meaning anything but it’s WAY better than anything else we’ve seen tonight. Koloff drops some elbows with the chain and chokes away but won’t go for any corners.

Koloff fires off more chain shots but there’s only so much he can do because he can’t get far away from Sting. He snapmares Sting down and gets two corners. Make that three with the third one being with his head. Sting breaks up the fourth one and the streak is broken. They fight into the corner and both touch. They do it again with the second corner and Koloff hits him low. Well that’s one way to stop things. Sting hits him low right back and both guys are down.

The streaks aren’t broken off that somehow. They charge at the third and it’s tied at 3. Sting pounds on him but Koloff hooks the rope. Koloff comes back with the Sickle (clothesline) and somehow none of this breaks their momentum according to the referee. Koloff goes for the corner but Sting splashes him into it. Unfortunately that knocks Koloff into the buckle first for the win.

Rating: D+. Why? WHY IN THE FREAKING WORLD WOULD YOU HAVE STING LOSE HERE? Was NO ONE watching the show? Did no one get that the fans NEEDED something to care about here? The match itself was pretty bad too, as it was all short range stuff. These matches just don’t work other than Piper vs. Valentine at Starrcade in 83. The difference there is it was pinfall to win, which might be the catch to these things. This is the exact same finish as JBL vs. Eddie in 04 by the way.

The cage is set up. While that’s going on we get a video on Luger. He’s US Champion at this point. Barry gets a video as well.

The problems here are listed in the intro so go back and look at that if you’re interested. It’s certainly worth checking out for the insanity of it alone. The other major issue with this match: this would be like Orton vs. Kofi for the world title today because Sheamus had to be pulled out. See how this wouldn’t be that interesting? Even before they come out there’s a LOUD WE WANT FLAIR chant. There’s a history here but it’s like three years old so they don’t bother mentioning it. These two were tag champions but Barry turned on him to join the Horsemen. Scratch that as JR brings it up.

WCW World Title: Barry Windham vs. Lex Luger

In a cage if you missed that point and the title is vacant. Luger is clearly the more popular guy. Remember that. This is a short cage too as it’s maybe eight feet off the mat. The LOUD Flair chant begins again. Oh and another thing to complete the joke: Flair has the physical belt so they’re using the old Western States Title with a cheap looking plate over the part that says Western States.

The fans want Flair and we get going. They collide but no one goes anywhere. Luger hip tosses him down as we’re still in a feeling out process. They hit the ropes and Barry dropkicks him down and things slow down again. Small package gets two for Lex. He runs Barry over but the elbow misses. There are a lot of standoffs in this. Barry backdrops him down and they stare at each other some more. The camera guy looks at the fans as they chant for Flair. Nice job dude.

They go to the mat and Barry finally pops him in the face. A suplex puts Windham down and they stand off AGAIN. A figure four is broken up by Lex despite Barry not touching the leg at all yet. We’re like five minutes into the match so far and NOTHING has happened. Barry grabs a headlock and runs Luger over again. Lex grabs a sleeper but Barry counters into one of his own. Riveting stuff I tell you. Riveting.

Luger sends him into the corner to escape and this a DDT for two. That’s your biggest move so far people: a DDT. Lex goes up and gets slammed down, followed by a knee drop for two from Barry. Windham misses a top rope knee drop and Lex hits his series of clotheslines for two. There’s a powerslam and Luger puts him in the Rack but Barry kicks off the cage and backflips out in a cool counter.

A belly to back puts Luger down but he shrugs it off and loads up a superplex. That gets countered and Barry hits a top rope lariat. A regular lariat still gets no cover but a slam gets two. Barry goes up and hits a kind of flying superkick for two. Harley Race and Mr. Hughes come out for no apparent reason and Race says NOW IS THE TIME. Luger pops up and piledrives Windham for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. The problem here is that while there were two or three good minutes at the end, the first five minutes of the thirteen minute match were just dull. The heel turn at the end made NO sense and most people didn’t catch on because they popped for the pin. The match just wasn’t that good but there were good pieces to it if that makes sense. The ending sucked though and that brings it down even more. Eh screw it we’ll go with a D+. They earned it. Take that for what you will.

Paul E. Dangerously/Arn Anderson vs. Rick Steiner/Missy Hyatt

Yeah there’s still this to go. Why is it here? To send the fans home “happy”. JR admits there’s almost no time left. Missy looks better as a brunette. This was supposed to be a six man with Scott and Barry in there, but Scott got hurt by Dick Murdoch and Dick Slater. Speaking of them, they come out to kidnap Missy and make it a handicap match. You know, taking away THE ONLY REASON THIS MATCH EXISTS! This is nothing as they don’t care and there’s no time left. Steiner suplexes Arn down and Paul tags in for no apparent reason. Anderson goes down, Paul gets slammed and clotheslined for the pin. Nothing match.

That’s it. Seriously, that’s how the show ends: with Rick Steiner pinning a manager/commentator in a match he was an accessory to.

Overall Rating: N. As in nothing. I have nothing after that show. I actually feel drained after watching it. This is below a failure. This was absolutely horrible and for the life of me I have no idea who thought this was a good idea. The answer was some combination of JR, Dusty Rhodes and Ole Anderson (not all of them but it’s hard to tell who was booking back then). Either way, this was TERRIBLE with the best match probably being the freaking lumberjack match of all things.

Now for the important question: is this the worst show of all time? Well…..maybe. I can’t say it’s definitively the worst of all time because there are a lot that are very close to it. Take almost any WCW PPV in 1999 or the first half of 2000 and you can clearly say they were bad for how much insanity there was going on. Uncensored 1996 is so bad that it’s hilarious, so I don’t think I can put it below this one, as this was so bad it was painful to sit through. This one can’t even be called boring. It’s firmly in the TERRIBLE category, which is the harder one to get into rather than dull/boring.

There’s nothing worth seeing here and it’s a great example of everything wrong with WCW at this point: corporate guys screwing up wrestling stuff, bad matches, a severe lack of depth in the talent pool, illogical booing (Sting not going over being one of the top issues) and not listening to the audience. Horrible show and easily one of the worst ever, but maybe not the worst.

With that, WCW PPVs are done. Unlike TNA, there was a long history of these shows and you can see very clear eras of the PPVs. Starting back in the 80s and the NWA era, you had the smoky arenas that were dark and looked like they were out of the 70s. After that you saw a clear jump around 1990 or so to a much better lit and much more modern arena. Things changed again around 1994 with the arrival of Hogan when PPVs became much more unique with the themed sets (always awesome) and the big arena feel. Then after Starrcade 97, things start to go down hill until in 2000 when they have generic sets in tiny arenas.

The general consensus about WCW and something that I agree with is that the corporate people got in the way too much. When they were finally eliminated and guys that knew wrestling were allowed to run things, the company boomed and it boomed well. The PPVs went up with them and you had the roster to help make them into the spectacles that they were. WCW went on a huge roller coaster with these shows, going from slow matches that ate up like 15 minutes each to well planned out fast paced shows, down to drek with more curves and twists than a golf course designed by Dr. Seuss on an LSD trip.

WCW could put on some incredible shows and often times they did. The key thing to them that made them great though was the variety you would get. In WCW’s top days, you would get a brawl, a lucha match, a title match and a technical match in a row on a regular basis. There was something for everyone, which is why WCW got so high. With so wide an audience being brought in, it was easy to get a lot of buys for their shows. Once that went away and it was all shock value and bad matches, the buys went away. At the end of the day, if your wrestling sucks, the people won’t be watching.

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Monday Nitro #79
Date: March 17, 1997
Location: Savannah Civic Center, Savannah, Georgia
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Heenan

It’s the night after Uncensored and the big story is that Sting has declared his loyalty for WCW by attacking the NWO to close the show last night. At the same time though it’s not all good for the purple and gold (WCW for you young people out there) as the NWO won the main event last night, basically giving them unlimited power in the company. There are eleven matches tonight so expect some quick finishes. Let’s get to it.

Rey Mysterio vs. Psychosis

Mysterio takes him to the mat to start and controls from behind. Psychosis takes him to the mat as we see the Japanese announce table which has Ultimo Dragon sans mask. Rey tries to do his kickoff out of a test of strength position but they mistime it horribly. A springboard headscissors sends Psychosis to the floor and Rey follows it with a rana off the apron. Back in and Psychosis rams him stomach first into the buckle. Psychosis misses a charge into the post and Rey hits a flip dive to the floor. West Coast Pop is HORRIBLY botched as Psychosis’ head is drive into the mat ala a piledriver for the pin.

Rating: C-. I haven’t seen Rey botch this much stuff in years. The ending was almost scary as Psychosis just stopped moving when his head got driven into the mat like that. The match wasn’t horrible but with two noticeable botches in three and a half minutes, how good can you consider a match?

Arn Anderson says Sting came home last night, but that’s not what he’s here to talk about. He was injured at Halloween Havoc and has to have neck surgery. Arn talks about how his grandmother stayed alive long enough to see him become a mature adult. Last night he saw his family, the Horsemen, mature. He also saw Sullivan’s son recently and it looks like the Sullivan family has broken up completely. Anderson says he’ll be back, but he never would be, at least not in the ring.

We recap last night with Savage and Liz attacking Kimberly and Page. They spray painted Kimberly when page was down.

Maxx vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Maxx is a muscle guy who is part of the Dungeon of Doom. There’s a slight chance that he’s the same guy that played Maxx Muscle, who was Page’s bodyguard back in 1995. This is a squash, with Page hitting a top rope splash of all things. He escapes a full nelson and hits the Cutter for the quick pin in maybe a minute and a half.

Page says he’s hunting for Savage and Liz. We’re also told possibly for the first time that Page and Kimberly are married in real life. Savage is a dead man walking. Page starts to leave but Savage and Liz are in the crowd. Savage says he’s the icon and Page is the wrestler with no name. Talk of a non-sanctioned match is mentioned but Savage says it’ll be later. Page charges into the crowd but Savage gets away.

Hugh Morrus/Konnan vs. Renegade/Joe Gomez

Before the match here are Bischoff and the Outsiders to take over the announce desk. Actually scratch that as they just have an announcement: they’ll be getting in the ring tonight but no opponents are mentioned. Apparently them getting to challenge for any title they want according to the stipulations from the main event last night now means the champions get to pick when they wrestle ever.

Back to the match which starts with Morrus jumping Gomez and working over his knee. Konnan comes in quickly and kicks at said knee. The Dungeon trades off a few times but the offense doesn’t improve at all. The announcers talk about Spring Stampede a bit as not much is going on during the match. A clothesline puts Gomez down and Konnan comes back in for a half crab. After about three minutes of leg work Gomez finally tags in Renegade. He cleans house for about fifteen seconds and then tags back out when Gomez can’t even stand. It takes about ten seconds to hit No Laughing Matter for the pin on Joe.

Rating: D. This was a dull match and it seems like they were trying to set up a feud between Renegade and Gomez for who knows what reason. The match was boring as it was about four minutes of leg work followed by the angle to end the show. Gomez stayed around for a long time and never did anything at all.

US Title: Dean Malenko vs. Scotty Riggs

Malenko won the title last night. Riggs lost a strap match to Bagwell last night so he gets a title match tonight. Makes perfect sense right? Scotty hits a quick dropkick to start but it only gets two. Dean will have none of that and sends Riggs to the floor and into the barricade. Back in and we get a pinfall reversal sequence for some two counts. Riggs makes a quick comeback with his jobber level offense before he gets caught in a hot shot. Dean grabs a rolling cradle for the pin to retain fast.

Lex Luger/The Giant vs. The Knuckles

That would be Knuckles Nelson and T. Rantula. I don’t know about you, but I’m smelling an upset here. Giant and Rantula start us off and the man who would be Peter Parker is thrown back into his own corner quickly. Nelson comes in and this is squash territory already. Giant works him over in the corner for awhile until Rantula comes in to help. That goes nowhere either and it’s a chokeslam for Nelson. Luger walks in without a tag and powerslams Rantula as Giant pins Nelson. Luger Racks Rantula post match. Total squash.

Luger and Giant talk about Sting coming back last night. We get some clips from the show with Sting destroying the NWO as Giant talks about seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Luger says it made him believe in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. These guys do know they lost the main event right?

We get some stills from last night with Mortis vs. Glacier. Wrath debuted post match to beat down Glacier.

Bobby Eaton vs. Ultimo Dragon

Dragon stalls on the floor to start so Eaton punches him in the face. And never mind as Dragon puts him on top and hits a rana for the pin. This wasn’t even a minute and a half.

Here’s the NWO in full force. Hogan and Bischoff brag about winning last night and talk about being able to challenge for any title. That would be the TV and US Titles, unless you want to count the Women’s belt if that exists yet. Savage says he’ll face Page at some point. Nash says the Outsiders will face the Steiners at Spring Stampede. That would wind up being Rick vs. Nash for the titles. During this announcement, Hall takes a beer to the head. In PERFECT response, he wipes his hair as he is known to do.

Call the NWO hotline!

Hour #2 begins and it seems a lot later than usual. We do the usual recap.

Alex Wright/Mark Starr vs. Jeff Jarrett/Steve McMichael

Jarrett and Wright start things off with Alex firing off some dropkicks. Jarrett takes him down and Mongo drops an elbow on the back of Wright’s head to take over. There’s a side slam and it’s back to Jarrett. Tony calls that a solid tag. How can a tag exactly be solid? Everything breaks down with Starr diving over Mongo which is called a chop block. Figure Four ends Starr quick.

Public Enemy comes out and beats up the Horsemen post match. The Horsemen fight them off and then go to talk to Gene. Apparently these teams are going to be fighting at the PPV. Debra screeches a bit and Jarrett says he’s walking the walk now. Mongo dares the people to boo Debra, again not seeming to know if he’s a face or a heel.

Lee Marshall does his schtick.

Scott Norton vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Norton runs him over and Chavo bails to the floor. Back in and Chavo goes after the knee but Norton won’t go down. Two more shots to it and he still won’t go down. A missile dropkick won’t put Norton down and a sunset flip doesn’t either. Norton powerbombs him to death to end this. Norton wouldn’t sell a thing here.

Hogan and Rodman talk about nothing of note.

Chris Benoit vs. Billy Kidman

This doesn’t even last a minute with the Crossface ending it. That hadn’t been his finisher long at all at this point.

Benoit and Woman have something to say but Flair comes out before they can start. Benoit talks about Sullivan of course and Flair blames Piper for the loss last night. Ric isn’t worried about Arn because he’s tough. As for Piper, he can come be a Horseman and take Arn’s spot. That’s quite the offer.

Steiner Brothers vs. Harlem Heat

Scott and Booker get us going with Booker hitting a fast side kick. He walks into a gorilla press slam though and it’s off to Rick. Stevie comes in to stomp away and adds in some punches for good measure. They trade powerslams as it’s time to talk about Sting. Booker comes in and side slams Rick down but it’s off to Scott who cleans house. Everything breaks down and it’s the NWO in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. The match was just filler until the NWO got there for no apparent reason. I guess it was to beat down the tag teams like the black and white used to do but it didn’t quite work as well. These teams seem a level or two beneath the NWO, but at the same time the NWO has beaten up everyone so many times that it doesn’t mean much when they beat up the main event guys anymore.

Luger and Giant come out for the save and clear the ring. Sting drops from the ceiling to end the show. He stands with WCW and that’s it. Hogan is terrified.

Overall Rating: D+. WCW hit a MAJOR funk over the summer, as the world title wouldn’t be defended on PPV from March until August, making most of the PPV main events totally worthless. Spring Stampede would be Savage vs. Page, the next month would be a six man tag and the third would be Rodman/Hogan vs. Luger/Giant. There were no major matches to build to so there was little going on in the way of television. This was a good example of that, as aside from Page and Savage getting set up, almost nothing happened here. That would be the case for the next few months.

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