Summerslam 1995
Date: August 27, 1995
Location: Pittsburgh Civic Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 18,062
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

So it’s time for the annual redos and for some reason, my readers decided to have me watch one of the worst Summerslams of all time. I’m so thrilled. Anyway this is built around Diesel vs. King Mabel in one of those moments where Vince McMahon was considered completely insane. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the big matches tonight, including Diesel vs. Mabel, Jerry Lawler sending his evil dentist (that will never sound normal) against Bret Hart, Kama Mustafa vs. Undertaker (over the again stolen urn) and the sequel to the ladder match (which was added because the company knew they were dead in the water otherwise).

I still love the big flying blimp in the arena. The fans behind it must be so thrilled. Now am I being sarcastic on that one?

Dean Douglas, the annoying teacher, is in the back to critique all of the matches. I’m not a Shane fan, but to go from the Franchise to this is a shame.

1-2-3 Kid vs. Hakushi

Vince: “The Kid is ready for WWF action!” You mean this isn’t the Boggle tournament? Hakushi’s White Angel look is way too awesome for a show like this. Kid grabs a headlock to start but gets taken down by the hair, with a fan opposite the hard camera being VERY upset by the cheating. A trip takes Hakushi down but he kicks Kid away, giving us a double nipup.

Back up and they both miss spinning kicks for another early standoff. Hakushi finally sends him into the corner for the handspring elbow and the fans aren’t sure what to think of it (fair enough as he’s a heel, but an awesome heel). The Bronco Buster hits Kid (so that’s where he got it) and it’s time to kick at his leg. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Hakushi sends him outside and hits a cartwheel into a backdrop over the top for your YOU DO KNOW IT’S 1995 spot.

Back in and a top rope headbutt to the standing Kid gets two but a top rope splash misses. Kid dropkicks him to the floor and hits his own dive, followed by a slingshot legdrop for two. Kid’s top rope splash connects for the patented 1-2-He Got Him NO! Back up and Kid tries a spinwheel kick but gets caught in something like a belly to back suplex to give Hakushi the pin at 9:28.

Rating: B-. This was WAY ahead of its time with stuff like the Space Flying Tiger Drop of all things being far more than you would expect from a WWF match in 1995. The Kid was very good as well and fought from underneath with his own high flying. Good stuff here, though I’m worried about what else they have for the rest of the night.

Dok Hendrix is WAY too excited to know about Mabel’s master plan. You’ll just have to wait, exactly like Big Daddy Fool. And that’s before he even gets in the ring people.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Bob Holly

Helmsley is brand new here and still an undefeated blue blood. There’s no contact for the first minute so Holly grabs him for a slam and an armdrag sends Helmsley into the corner. Holly charges at him though and gets caught in a Stun Gun to let Helmsley take over. Vince talks about wanting to see Lawler in a go kart or bumper cars as Holly gets whipped hard into the corner.

The chinlock goes on and we cut to British Bulldog arriving, even though he has nothing to say. Back in and arena and Holly’s abdominal stretch is countered with a hiptoss over the top. Holly is right back up with a DDT and the dropkick with the backdrop completing the jobber level comeback. A missed charge lets Helmsley finish with the Pedigree at 7:10.

Rating: D. Oh come on. I know it’s a different era but this made Summerslam? I can get behind the idea of a match to make a newcomer look good but this wasn’t entertaining on any level. Helmsley was clearly someone they wanted to push but this would have been boring on Raw and we get it on a pay per view. At least it was short, but that’s all I’ve got.

Some wrestlers and firemen had a charity tug of war. Nothing wrong with that.

Blu Brothers vs. Smoking Gunns

Jacob (of Jacob and Eli Blu, which sounds conspicuously like Jake and Elwood Blues) gets caught in an early armbar from Billy. It’s off to Bart in a hurry but Eli snaps his throat across the top to take over. A quick crossbody gets Bart out of trouble though and Billy comes back in.

The yet to be named H Bomb (when they would become the Harris Twins that is) plants Billy for a delayed two and it’s off to the also yet to be named Tree of Woe (1995 needs to catch up with the times already). Lawler: “I bought five copies of Windows 95 and I don’t even have a computer.” After that random line, Eli gets two off a powerslam as the second Raw level match continues. Billy gets in a dropkick and brings in Bart to clean house. Heel miscommunication lets the Sidewinder connect for the fast pin on Eli at 6:11.

Rating: D-. At least in the Helmsley vs. Holly match (something that has never been said) they were pushing someone new and fresh. Here it’s a win for the Gunns, who had been around for years and were former Tag Team Champions. And against the Blu Brothers? That’s the best they can put together for what should be the second biggest show of the year? Thank goodness we were only a few weeks away from Nitro because this is some horrible planning.

We recap Barry Horowitz vs. Skip in a rematch of the huge upset of Barry pinning Skip. Barry then won by surviving a ten minute challenge, meaning it’s time for a third match. The idea here is that Barry hasn’t won a match in years but managed to pull this one off. How this is supposed to make me want to watch isn’t clear, as Barry is only going to be known to long time fans who are going to be watching in the first place.

Barry Horowitz vs. Skip

Sunny is out with Skip and does her trademark great rant about how they were cheated twice but it won’t happen again. Barry charges to the ring (with the awesome rock version of Hava Nagila) and hammers away to start with a clothesline putting Skip on the floor. Back in and Barry gets two off an O’Connor roll before suplexing Skip over the top again. Sunny tries to throw in the towel but is told that it’s not boxing and doesn’t count. Uh, it counted for Bob Backlund in 1983.

The distraction works well enough for Skip to jump Barry from behind, meaning it’s time for some jumping jacks. For some reason, this turns into a discussion of who would win in a fight between Siskel and Ebert. Barry is back up with some shoulders for two and a sunset flip for the same. Skip runs him over again though and it’s off to a seated abdominal stretch. That’s broken up as well and Horowitz goes old school with a Thesz press of all things for two more.

Skip pulls it back to the mat for legdrops and a chinlock but Barry jobbers up. They trade dropkicks and it’s a double knockdown as this keeps going. Another dropkick from Barry crotches him on top but Skip knocks him backwards. The Swan Dive gives Skip two so Barry hits another dropkick and goes up. This time it’s Sunny crotching him down for a change, which draws out Hakushi of all people. The distraction into a rollup lets Barry get his third straight win at 11:23.

Rating: D. AND??? Am I really supposed to get behind Horowitz after this? The guy has a career win/loss record somewhere lower than mine and now he’s getting a win on Summerslam? Somehow this is the best that they can do and that sums up a lot of the problems they were having around this point.

Dean Douglas uses a telestrator to talk about the previous match in big words. Barry gets an S for Slacker.

Shane throws it to Vince but we get Todd Pettengill instead, who gives us a look at the Wrestlemania X ladder match. Shawn Michaels says you can’t prepare for a ladder match but Razor isn’t taking his title again tonight.

Women’s Title: Bertha Faye vs. Alundra Blayze

Faye, with Harvey Wippleman, is challenging and her gimmick is that she’s large and not very attractive. This is one of those gimmicks that was bad then, worse later and horrible today. Blayze kicks her down to start and sweeps the leg for a bonus. More kicks have Bertha in trouble but she runs Blayze over, because she’s big you see.

The middle rope splash misses and Blayze gets two off a victory roll. Some running head slams get no cover as Harvey has the referee. Instead Blayze goes after him but can’t get the German suplex on Faye. A hurricanrana gives Blayze two and a missile dropkick has Faye reeling. Another dropkick misses though and it’s a sitout powerbomb to give Faye the pin and the title at 4:37.

Rating: D-. You can hear Vince laughing at this one and doing so all by himself. This gimmick isn’t funny and it’s a waste of someone as talented as she was. Is there any reason why they felt the need to humiliate someone that they brought in? There was nothing that the women could do when Faye was only allowed to use the “I’m big” offense in a short match. Terrible stuff here and it’s not on the wrestlers.

Post match Faye says she’s the beauty now and has the belt. Blayze would get it back in about two months.

We recap Undertaker vs. Kama Mustafa, who is the latest person to steal the urn (and melted it down into a big gold chain because reasons) as part of Undertaker vs. the Million Dollar Corporation, which felt like it went on forever. Kama even beat up some of the Creatures of the Night, meaning he’s gone too far. Therefore, it’s a casket match because what else could it be.

Paul Bearer and Undertaker promise to finish Kama.

Undertaker vs. Kama Mustafa

Casket match with Ted DiBiase in Kama’s corner to counter Bearer. Undertaker isn’t wasting time and picks Kama up for some choking and then throws him onto the casket. Something close to a Stinger Splash (THEY’RE DOING THE MATCH!!!) and Old School connects. The casket is opened revealing the Casket Cam as Kama is knocked in.

That goes nowhere this early and Kama is right back up with a top rope clothesline. Undertaker’s second Stinger Splash is caught with a powerslam and of course he sits up again. DiBiase offers a distraction so Kama can hammer and kick away. A clothesline puts Undertaker on top of the closed casket and a suplex does it again. Kama can’t piledrive him on the casket though and Undertaker backdrops him inside.

That’s fine with Kama, who hits a powerslam for a cover, checking off your required “I forgot this is a casket match” box. We hit the chinlock for a good while as the match just stops as they lay there. A belly to back suplex finally gives them something to do and the comeback is on.

The jumping clothesline connects but it’s a Cactus Clothesline to put them both in the casket. They come out and it’s a prototype of the famous shot of Shawn Michaels being dragged back in as Kama is put inside again. Back in and Kama grabs a swinging neckbreaker to put them both down again. The chokeslam connects though and it’s a Tombstone to finish Kama for good at 16:26.

Rating: D. It wasn’t even that it was bad but it was WAY too long with all of the laying around and Kama being the least believable opponent Undertaker has had in a long time. Kama felt like the villain in the fourth edition of an action movie series that has gone on too long and the star needed a paycheck. Really dull stuff here and the last thing the show needed.

Lawler is very excited about the idea of Isaac Yankem removing Bret Hart’s teeth.

Video on Yankem, who really is an evil dentist and we really are supposed to believe this as something threatening. Lawler vs. Hart has been going on for over two years now and has offered some awesome stuff, but as soon as Todd says “the King recruited a dentist”, it loses me a bit. Yankem is of course better known as Kane and his story of hearing that he was being brought in to be an evil dentist is rather funny.

Bret is ready to shut Lawler’s mouth. Bret to Yankem: “I don’t care if you’re a dentist.” Words never spoken in wrestling before or since.

Isaac Yankem vs. Bret Hart

Lawler handles Yankem’s entrance. As a bonus pun, Yankem is billed from Decay-tur, Illinois. Lawler is on commentary for a bit of a surprise as Bret gets shoved down to start. Yankem misses a big elbow but is fine enough to send Bret hard into the corner. Bret is back with an atomic drop and a clothesline for a trip to the floor. Back in and Bret hits a middle rope clothesline, followed by the headbutt to the abdomen.

The backslide gets two as Lawler is saying only Vince needs to be impartial tonight. Another hard whip into the corner takes Bret down again and Isaac chokes on the ropes until the referee drags him away by the hair. More choking ensues as Yankem doesn’t have the highest variety in his offense so far.

Bret is back up and sends him outside for a suicide dive as the comeback is on. Back in and it’s time for the Five Moves Of Doom but a Lawler distraction breaks up the Sharpshooter. Lawler stays up to cheer on Yankem’s beating (as he should) but Bret gets in a slam off the top for a rare power display.

In a change of pace, Bret ties Yankem’s legs around the post and stomps away until the referee unties Yankem’s feet. Lawler would do it but he’s too busy getting beaten up by Bret. The distraction lets Yankem hit a top rope ax handle to the back and Lawler helps him tie Bret’s neck in the ropes for the DQ at 16:10.

Rating: C+. Bret was doing everything he could here but Yankem wasn’t there yet and there’s only so much you can do as an evil dentist. The match felt straight out of Memphis with someone wanting to get at Lawler but he brought in his latest monster for protection. It’s a perfectly usable story and the match wasn’t bad, so I’ll take what I can get here.

Post match Lawler and Yankem pull at the still trapped Bret until referees break it up.

Razor Ramon isn’t scared of Shawn Michaels and he’ll take every chance he can get. If Shawn is ready to dance, Razor leads.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon

Shawn is defending in a ladder match, which was added due to “fan demand”, which is a rather accurate definition of what happened (originally scheduled to be Shawn vs. Sid before the company woke up and saw the rest of the card). The title is raised but hang on because Shawn isn’t happy with the way it’s attached to the hook (likely a problem with how the finish was supposed to go). Dok Hendrix has replaced Lawler on commentary.

They both look up at the title and then go to the slugout, as they should have done. The threat of an early superkick has Razor grabbing the ropes in a smart move. A Razor’s Edge attempt has Shawn looking worried so Razor throws him outside without much trouble. It’s time to go for the ladder but Shawn cuts Razor off from getting it. I’ve never gotten that but I guess it’s a pride thing.

They head back to the ring instead with Razor suplexing Shawn outside but Shawn’s leg hits the barricade in a nasty looking crash. Dok: “I might suggest that’s it.” Vince: “Uh yes that’s it.” Back in and Shawn escapes the Edge again but misses another superkick, meaning it’s a double clothesline to put them both down. Razor is up first and hits a super fall away slam as he continues the early dominance (they’re building things up here and that’s going to pay off in the end).

Now the ladder is brought in as we see Sid watching in the back. Shawn makes a fast save though and it’s his turn to grab the ladder, but he would rather hit Razor than climb. Razor breaks up a climb by pulling the tights down and then shoves the ladder over in a smart move. Replays show Shawn’s leg getting caught in the ladder on the way down as the focal point continues to grow.

The leg gets crushed in the ladder again and the fans aren’t pleased. Razor slams him legs first onto the ladder and then puts the ladder on the middle rope in the corner. That gives Razor another place to drop Shawn’s knee onto the ladder and it’s time to go into the Ric Flair cannonballs onto the leg. Shawn kicks him to the floor for a breather but that just lets Razor wrap the knee around the post. Back in and the knee gets wrenched again The ladder is set up in the middle of the ring but Shawn suplexes Razor back down for a double knockdown.

Shawn puts the ladder in the corner and whips Razor into it and bring the cheers back. A moonsault off the ladder lets Shawn hammer away but he misses the huge splash off the ladder (call back tot he previous match) and they’re both down again. They both make the slow climb and crash back down for a double crotching on the top. A missed charge with the ladder has Shawn falling out to the floor and Razor goes down with him. Shawn goes back in and sets up the ladder but Razor brings in a second ladder (a new concept at the time).

Razor drops his though and hits the Razor’s Edge off the original ladder for the big knockout shot. He can’t follow up though and they’re both down again. Both ladders are set up for a double climb but Shawn superkicks him down. Hang on though as Shawn isn’t under the belt so he jumps for it, meaning another crash down onto the bad leg. Another Razor’s Edge attempt is countered with a backdrop to the floor, allowing Shawn to go up and grab the title….but he falls again without the belt coming down. A ticked off Shawn goes up and pulls the title down to retain at 25:09.

Rating: A. Yeah this was outstanding and you could argue it’s better than the original. The big difference here was having the match involve a ladder instead of being about a ladder. They had a heck of a match with Razor working the leg and Shawn having to find a way around the power game. The teasing of finishers until the end was a great addition as well and the whole thing was a blast with big spots and awesome action throughout. Check this out and then go watch the first one again because you really could say either of them is better.

Post match Razor grabs the belt but hands it to Shawn for the nice moment.

Douglas doesn’t like Razor calling himself the Bad Guy when Razor comes in to knock him down with one punch.

Diesel isn’t worried about Mabel. You know, because he’s Mabel.

WWF World Title: King Mabel vs. Diesel

Mabel, with Sir Mo, is defending and the story here is finding out his Royal Plan. We get the trash talking before the bell and my goodness Mabel’s crown looks pitiful. It looks like it’s made of paper or cheap plastic and comes off like a toy instead of something serious. Kind of like his whole push in a way.

Mabel runs him over to start and chops away in the corner but Diesel forearms him back. The big slam doesn’t work so Diesel hits some clotheslines to put Mabel on the floor. Diesel actually manages a dive over the top (not terrible either) to take Mabel down but the fans just do not care. Mabel charges into a big boot but is back in with a….I guess Boss Man Slam, but he shoved Diesel down instead of picking him up. To mix it up a bit, Mabel sits on Diesel’s back but misses a backsplash.

The referee gets bumped so Mo comes in (which seems to be the Royal Plan), drawing out Lex Luger for the save. Well the attempted save at least as Luger is knocked outside, leaving Mabel to drop the leg on Diesel on the floor. Luger takes care of Mo (Did Luger just come out early or something? Also, that would be his last appearance in the company as he would debut on Nitro eight days later), leaving Mabel to hit the belly to belly for two. Mabel misses a middle rope splash though, allowing Diesel to hit a middle rope clothesline to retain at 9:16 (admittedly to a big pop).

Rating: D-. Oh come on what else were you expecting here? It’s freaking MABEL. Diesel is someone who can have a great match with the right opponent but Mabel is so far away from being the right opponent that he’s the left one. There’s no way to make this work as Mabel was nothing more than the big guy with a lame lackey. There was no way this was going to work, the match was terrible and they got them out of there almost as fast as possible. What else could this have been?

Overall Rating: D. There are some bright spots in here, but aside from the classic ladder match, this could have been any given house show. The opener was good, Bret vs. Yankem could have been a lot worse and the ladder match is awesome. Other than that, there is no reason to think of this as a special show in any way and that was very clear throughout. I know it’s a dark time for the company, but this was them putting out whatever they had because they had to do a show instead of trying to put on a great show. Terrible for the most part, with a few bright spots sprinkled in.

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Summerslam 1994
Date: August 29, 1994
Location: United Center, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 23,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

This is the old review of the year and that’s an interesting choice. The show has a double main event of WWF World Champion Bret Hart defending against his brother Owen to continue their awesome feud, plus the wholly unawesome Undertaker vs. Fake Undertaker match. It’s the best of both worlds you see. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Randy Savage to welcome us to the show, held in the brand new United Center. Somehow, this is the only pay per view the company has ever run from the arena.

Jerry Lawler has some breaking news: Shawn Michaels and Diesel have become the new Tag Team Champions after defeating the Headshrinkers last night. What an odd time to do a title change, but 1994 was an odd time.

IRS/Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Headshrinkers

IRS and Bigelow have Ted DiBiase in their corner and this was originally going to be a title match. The Headshrinkers (Samu/Fatu) have Afa and Lou Albano with them, just to crank up the bizarre state of the show so far. Bigelow runs Fatu (not Samu Vince, though to be fair it’s a pretty easy mistake to make) over with a shoulder but eats the superkick for two. Fatu avoids a very early top rope headbutt and a double superkick puts Bigelow down again. Samu comes in, so Vince says Samu is now in, after saying Samu started.

Vince really wasn’t great at this whole thing. Samu starts cleaning house and ducks an IRS charge to send him outside. Back in and Bigelow low bridges Fatu to the floor but it’s a double clothesline for a double knockdown. The hot(ish) tag brings Samu back in for a BAAAACK body drop and a headbutt to Bigelow, which works because Samoans have hard heads. The middle rope headbutt gets two on IRS with Bigelow making a save. With Bigelow being knocked to the floor, the double Stroke sets up the Superfly Splash but Bigelow goes after Albano. That’s enough to draw Afa in for the DQ at 7:18.

Rating: D+. Pretty lame opener here with the lack of the titles taking away the little interest this match had. The Headshrinkers are good in their roles but Bigelow and IRS are a pretty generic team who don’t have much to do here. I’m still not sure what the point is in having the titles change early. Why not just do it the next night on Raw?

They brawl to the back.

And now, for your comedy of the show. The detectives from the Naked Gun movies are trying to find the Undertaker, complete with a bunch of puns and sight gags. Such gems include “we’re both on the case” as they stand on a briefcase.

Women’s Title: Bull Nakano vs. Alundra Blayze

Blayze is defending and Nakano has Luna Vachon in her corner. For those of you of a younger age, Nakano is a rather terrifying Japanese monster and Blayze’s archnemesis. We get the ceremonial flower presentation but Vachon throws hers at Blayze to really be a jerk. Nakano kicks her in the ribs instead of shaking hands but it’s too early for a powerbomb. A knee to the ribs cuts the champ off and Nakano throws her down by the hair.

We hit the chinlock (with Nakano’s back to the camera because she doesn’t know how to work) until Blayze makes the rope, which isn’t an escape you see that often. The yet to be named hurricanrana gives Blayze two but Nakano pulls her down into a Boston crab with both legs under one arm. With that broken up, Nakano puts on what would become Paige’s Scorpion Crosslock.

Since Blayze hasn’t been tortured enough yet, Nakano switches to a cross armbreaker. Back up and three straight running sleeper drops have Nakano in trouble but she powers out of a piledriver attempt. A powerbomb gets two on the champ as the pace has picked WAY up out of nowhere. Blayze avoids the guillotine legdrop though, kicks Vachon down and grabs the German suplex to retain at 8:17.

Rating: B. For 1994, this was some insane stuff in America, especially for a women’s match. Blayze really was good but Nakano was one of the best of the era. She was big, strong, could wrestle on the mat and had the submission skills to be that dominant. Unfortunately these two pretty much the entire division for a long time so it could only go so far.

Shawn Michaels and Diesel brag about winning the titles because the Heartbreak Hotel needed some more gold. Diesel says Razor Ramon isn’t taking one of his two titles tonight. Razor has had a bunch of chances and tonight isn’t going to change anything.

Intercontinental Title: Razor Ramon vs. Diesel

Razor is challenging and has NFL Hall of Famer Walter Payton in his corner to balance out Shawn. The white boots are a weird look for Razor. Shawn talks trash to Payton to start and Razor fires off the right hands, which look very good against someone Diesel’s size. Back in after a quick trip to the floor and Diesel gets in his own punches to take over. A sleeper slows Razor down even more and Diesel throws him outside.

Shawn goes for the turnbuckle pad but Payton chases him off, allowing Shawn to forearm Razor behind the referee’s back. I could watch Shawn outsmart people for days. Back in again and the referee stands in front of the exposed buckle but Shawn’s second distraction allows Razor to be whipped in. Diesel hits Snake Eyes onto an unexposed buckle as Lawler thinks the pad fell off the other one. A chinlock with a knee to the back keeps Razor in trouble and a big boot knocks his head off.

We hit the abdominal stretch, which at least looks more painful than a chinlock with a knee in the back. Diesel grabs the rope, making me wish we had Bobby Heenan there to explain why it’s more to avoid a hiptoss counter than to add more leverage. Razor gets out and sends Diesel ribs first into the exposed buckle, sending Lawler into hysterics as it should.

The middle rope bulldog (the Hall Buster) gets two and there’s a right hand to knock Shawn off the apron for a great over the top sell. A flying shoulder gives Diesel a breather so Shawn goes after the belt. Payton goes after him again and of course the referee yells, allowing Shawn to superkick Diesel by mistake. Shawn gets pulled outside and Razor finally crawls over for the pin to get the title back at 15:01.

Rating: B-. I’ve always had a mixed reaction to this one as the match itself is pretty good but Payton being out there was just a celebrity cameo that could have been anyone. Razor getting the title back was the right call as Shawn and Diesel are already having issues. They could have cut a few minutes out here, but what we got was still good enough and didn’t get sunk by the extra time.

Diesel yells at Shawn all the way to the back.

Savage talks about what we just saw.

Lex Luger and Tatanka are in the back. A fan poll has 54% saying that Luger sold out to Ted DiBiase and Tatanka is tired of hearing Luger deny it. We see a montage of DiBiase and Luger getting very close, but Luger still swears there’s nothing going on because DiBiase is lying. Tatanka is going to prove his story in the ring tonight.

Lex Luger vs. Tatanka

There’s no DiBiase to start. Feeling out process to start with Luger running him over but not following up. Tatanka’s armbar has no effect so Luger puts him down again, only to miss the jumping elbow (as always). That means we get more of Tatanka’s lame offense, including the top rope chop to the head. The second attempt gets punched out of the air and Luger starts in with the clotheslines. Cue DiBiase with a gym bag as Luger hits a powerslam. DiBiase pulls money out of the bag as Luger yells at him, allowing Tatanka to grab a rollup for the pin at 6:02.

Rating: D. This was all about the storyline instead of the wrestling and that’s not surprising. Neither Luger nor Tatanka were going to have a good match at this point so the story was the only way this was going to work. Tatanka was a fine midcard hand but if he had even a slightly better offense, he could have been a much bigger deal. There comes a point where you need the wrestling to back up the character and that just wasn’t the case for him.

Post match Luger kicks the money out of DiBiase’s hands so Tatanka jumps him from behind, revealing that he sold out. I’ve always liked that story, as bad as the match was. What I don’t like is how long this goes on, as Tatanka beats him up three different times, capped off by the Million Dollar Dream. We get the money in Luger’s mouth for a little old school touch.

Gorilla Monsoon is aghast at what we just saw. Agreed. That money must be filthy.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Mabel

This is going to be a disaster. During the entrances, Vince and Jerry debate the detectives’ skills and if Lawler has any rhythm. Mabel tosses away a wristlock attempt (Jarrett’s sell is quite good) and drops the big elbow when Jarrett tries a drop down. A clothesline puts Jarrett on the floor so he shoves the rapping Oscar. That’s not going to get him booed as Oscar isn’t very good. Back in and Jeff scores with some middle rope ax handles but Mabel crushes him in the corner.

The spinwheel kick (the one good thing that Mabel could do) gets two as Abe Knuckleball Schwartz (the Brooklyn Brawler as a baseball player) is on strike in the crowd. This adds nothing and isn’t funny or interesting, but it’s a thing that happens. Sounds like 1994 as a whole. They head outside with Oscar getting in a slap and Mabel splashing Jeff against the post. Back in and the middle rope splash misses, followed by a missed sitdown splash to give Jeff the pin at 5:57.

Rating: F. Oh what were you expecting here? Mabel was fat and useless while Jarrett wasn’t exactly someone who was going to carry anyone at this point, especially someone that big. This should have been on Raw at best and comes off as terrible filler here. Mainly because that’s what it was.

Vince introduces the detectives in the aisle, blowing their cover. Undertaker’s silhouette appears in the entrance but they don’t see him. Because they’re bad at their jobs you see.

We recap Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart. This started way back in 1993 when Owen was the only Hart eliminated at the Survivor Series, which he blamed on Bret. Owen and Bret then teamed up to try and win the Tag Team Titles, but Bret wouldn’t tag out when injured, leading to a referee stoppage.

They went on to have a classic at Wrestlemania X with Owen pinning Bret clean. Bret won the WWF World Title later in the night and the feud was on for the rest of the summer. Owen even won the King of the Ring (just like his brother the previous year) to earn another title shot. Tonight is the big blowoff inside a cage. This really was a great feud as you could see Owen’s point all along and it built up perfectly over time.

Earlier today, Owen and crony Jim Neidhart (Bret’s former partner) were in the cage and promised to destroy Bret once and for all tonight.

Bret is going to forget they’re family tonight because Owen will be crying a river of tears, just like he did when he was a baby.

The Hart Family, including Davey Boy Smith, is at ringside and Helen can’t believe this is happening. Stu hopes the best wrestler wins and sounds as only he can. Lawler accuses both of them of causing all of this and thinks Smith will turn on Bret again. Lawler: “Wouldn’t you love to be in there with Bret again tonight?” Smith: “Uh, not really.” Neidhart is behind Smith and says we’ll see Owen prove that he’s the better man once and for all. Bruce Hart spins around and says stay out of this.

Bret, recovering from strep throat, says his condition won’t change anything tonight. What we’re going to see tonight is barbaric and nothing like what they did when they were kids. Everyone wants things to end tonight and Bret is going to finish it to heal his family.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

Bret is defending in a cage with escape only to win. Owen goes right at him to start and hammers away during the entrances, followed by some hard right hands to the head. You can see Helen panicking over the whole thing and a DDT by Bret makes things even worse. It’s too early to escape though and Owen scores with some headbutts, followed by an enziguri to really rock Bret. He’s fine enough to suplex Owen off the cage and it’s a double knockdown.

Owen goes for the door so Bret bends him around the ropes for a save and drags him right back in. They’re setting up a good feel here with both of them going for the escape and being pulled back for more punishment. That ties in the idea of wanting to hurt each other but wanting to be the better man even more, which is really what this is all about. They both wind up on the top rope and slug it out with Owen knocking him down.

Instead of getting the easy climb out though, Owen comes back with a missile dropkick into a nipup. Both make some fast climbs up the cage but get pulled down for a crash each. A collision gives us another double knockdown as they’re taking their time building the drama, mainly because they’ve got the time to do so. It’s still too early for Owen to get out the door as Bret pulls him out, only to get pulled back down from the top for a hard crotching.

Bret is up fast enough for the headbutt between the legs but Owen pulls him down again. Owen gets closer to getting out than any other attempt yet, even getting his feet and legs out of the cage. Bret pulls him back in and sends Owen face first into the cage for a big knockdown. This time the climb is cut off by a belly to back superplex as the crashes and falls are getting bigger and bigger. A good piledriver plants Bret but he’s fine enough to catch a tired Owen again.

They both fall off the ropes this time for a breather until Bret catapults him face first into the cage. Owen has to literally dive over for a save and sends Bret into the cage, with the champ coming up holding his knee. The knee is fine enough to climb up and kick Owen away but he gets pulled back down by the arm.

Owen gets out again and you can feel the fans quiet down as he gets close. He’s pulled back in yet again and Bret kicks him down to the mat but it’s Owen’s turn for a last second save. Bret catches him in the corner and pulls Owen back down with a huge superplex (Bret always had a great one) and they’re both down again. Owen is up first with a Sharpshooter but Bret reverses into one of his own.

A little cranking has Owen down but, say it with me, he lunges over for the save by pulling Bret down hair first. They both climb and this time make it over the top, leaving them hanging on the side. Bret hits him in the ribs, causing Owen to slip and get tied up in the cage wall. That’s enough for Bret to drop down and retain at 32:18.

Rating: A+. I’ve had to say this about several Bret matches before but the wrestling isn’t the point here. This was all about telling a great story and that’s what we got. The thing to remember here is that they don’t hate each other but rather Owen wants to prove he’s better and Bret wants to shut Owen up. It explains why they weren’t trying to kill each other in what is usually a violent match. Instead, they were trying to win, which should be the case in most matches and especially one like this. Notice how the match ends: not with a big spot, but with Bret being one step better than Owen, which is the point of the feud.

It is slower paced and it does feel like they’re doing the same things over and over, but it’s a case of WHY they’re doing the same things over and over. They’re not trying to destroy each other and it really is about being the better man. Owen has gone off the deep end with trying to beat Bret, but it never felt like he wanted to hurt him. That might not make for the most exciting match, but it’s how things should have gone when you think about it.

Post match Neidhart jumps the barricade and clotheslines Davey, knocking him into his wife. Neidhart locks himself inside the cage and the double beatdown is on as Owen has completely snapped. The Hart Brothers storm the cage (always cool) but Owen keeps knocking them off. Davey finally punches Owen down (for a great bump) and gets in, sending Owen and Neidhart running as the rest of the brothers get inside as well.

In the back, Owen and Neidhart yell about how Owen should be the winner and Davey isn’t family. Owen: “Let’s go celebrate my victory!”

Survivor Series ad, making fun of football. Considering how meh that show was, I wouldn’t go that way.

We recap the Undertaker vs. Undertaker. Back in January, Undertaker was destroyed by about a dozen guys and put in a casket. Not to worry as he ascended out of the casket in one of the most ridiculous things you’ll ever see in wrestling. After being gone for several months (aside from some sightings, including by a young child in school), Ted DiBiase said he had seen Undertaker. Paul Bearer said no way but DiBiase brought him back, only to reveal that it was a fake Undertaker (played by Brian Adams, better known as Chainz). The lack of about three inches was a, ahem, dead giveaway.

With Undertaker succumbing to the power of money, Bearer went to the graveyard and said he had the real Undertaker again. After the lights went out one night on the King’s Court (Todd Pettengill: “Look at that brain surgeon Jerry Lawler.”), the real Undertaker said he was back and not with DiBiase. He would be around this coming Monday (at Summerslam) against whatever DiBiase had with him. This video gets well over five minutes as we need to get rid of the cage.

Undertaker vs. Undertaker

For the sake of simplicity, I’ll identify them by the colors of their gloves: gray for the fake one and purple for the real. DiBiase brings his man to the ring but Bearer comes out with just a casket. There’s nothing inside though and the casket is wheeled to the back. Instead Bearer opens the Urn to reveal a light….and here’s the real Undertaker. That certainly seems to be worth the wait for the fans.

Purple shrugs off some forearms to the back and leapfrogs (!) gray, who falls to the floor. Gray stalks Bearer and gets suplexed back inside for his troubles, only to be sent right back to the floor. A Stunner over the top staggers Purple but Old School just isn’t happening. The real Old School connects and now Lawler believes Bearer has the real thing.

Purple misses a charge and falls to the floor as Vince defends the silent crowd. More right hands from gray don’t have much effect but a good looking chokeslam gets….no cover. Gray goes with a Tombstone for no cover again as he spends too long pointing at DiBiase. Purple hits a Tombstone of his own, followed by a second for good measure. A third finally gives purple the pin at 9:10.

Rating: F. Well what was that supposed to be? The biggest problem here is the match was really, really bad with the Tombstone being the only thing worthwhile from the fake Undertaker. That leaves you with about eight minutes of lumbering forearms and right hands as the fans had no idea what to make of anything because there was nothing to get excited about. This would have been much easier to sit through if it didn’t come after twenty minutes of build and a great cage match. For the life of me I’m not sure how they thought this was going to work, but it failed miserably.

Gray gets put in the casket and purple poses before the Urn’s flashlight.

Savage wraps the show up but throws it to the detectives, who find a briefcase. “The case is closed.” That ends the show. Summerslam mind you, ends on a sight gag. I remember watching this live and my dad tried to explain the joke to me because at six years old, this went flying over my head. What a great way to end a show.

Overall Rating: D+. It’s certainly not the worst show as there’s enough good stuff to carry it past horrible, but my goodness they didn’t do themselves any favors here. There’s a reason that 1994 was one of the worst years in company history and this show was a good example. With the fake main event being such a mess, they’re lucky to have an instant classic in the real main event to bail it out. It’s watchable, but be ready to fast forward a lot.

Ratings Comparison

IRS/Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Headshrinkers

Original: C+
2013 Redo: D+

2018 Redo: D+

Alundra Blayze vs. Bull Nakano

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

2018 Redo: B

Razor Ramon vs. Diesel

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: B-

Lex Luger vs. Tatanka

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D

2018 Redo: D

Jeff Jarrett vs. Mabel

Original: D-

2013 Redo: D-

2018 Redo: F

Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

Original: A

2013 Redo: A+

2018 Redo: A+

Undertaker vs. Undertaker

Original: B

2013 Redo: F

2018 Redo: F

Overall Rating

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D+

2018 Redo: D+

I still don’t know how I got a B out of the main event before and I really liked the women’s match more this time around. Other than that, it’s about the same all around.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/28/history-of-summerslam-count-up-summerslam-1994-from-great-matches-to-leslie-nielsen/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/07/30/summerslam-count-up-1994-the-last-great-cage-match/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 18, 1994
Location: Fernwood Resort, Bushkill, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,600
Commentators: Jim Ross, Randy Savage

After last week’s rather awesome Bret Hart vs. 1-2-3 Kid WWF Title match, it’s time to look at another title, as Diesel defends the Intercontinental Title against Lex Luger. What makes things all the more confusing is the fact that Ted DiBiase claiming he has purchased Lex Luger (though the contract has yet to be signed). Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a clip from Superstars with Tatanka as a guest on the Heartbreak Hotel, being convinced that Lex Luger has sold out to Ted DiBiase. Even Shawn Michaels isn’t sure about that.

Opening sequence.

Intercontinental Title: Diesel vs. Lex Luger

Diesel, with Shawn Michaels, is defending and there’s no sign of DiBiase to start. They take their time to get going until it’s a fight over a lockup, with Luger being powered out to the floor. Back in and Luger grabs a sunset flip for two and Diesel isn’t happy. That means we settle down a bit with Diesel elbowing him in the back of the head, followed by some to the front of the head in the corner.

A powerslam gets Luger out of trouble (and a two) and now it’s time to punch Diesel to the floor, with the fans approving. Back in and the Jackknife attempt is countered with a backdrop but Luger misses a charge and crashes out to the floor. Diesel hits a clothesline and we see DiBiase watching from a box as we take a break. Back with Diesel getting two off Snake Eyes, followed by the running crotch attack to the back for a VERY delayed two.

We hit the chinlock with a knee in Luger’s back for a bit, followed by a jumping elbow for another near fall. Diesel grabs the sleeper for a good while but Luger finally suplexes his way to freedom. Luger strikes away and ducks a big boot, setting up a DDT for two. A middle rope clothesline gives Luger two more as this is picking way up. The referee gets crushed in the corner though and Luger grabs the Rack, only to have Shawn break it up. The referee wakes up to count two and here is Razor Ramon to get rid of Michaels, which is enough for the referee to throw it out at 18:05.

Rating: B-. This started slowly but they were rocking by the end, with the double DQ being the right way to go. You don’t want to change the title or have Luger take a pin so this was as good as it was going to be. Luger might not be the best all around but he knows how to make that kind of a comeback. At the same time, JR was on fire here and knew EXACTLY how to make this feel like the most epic showdown. Really good stuff here and if you cut off about two minutes at the start, it’s that much better.

Post match the beatdown is on with Ramon getting laid out but Luger breaks up a spike piledriver. Cue DiBiase to look at Luger.

Mabel vs. Austin Steele

Steele, who looks like a bad Buddy Landell impersonator, gets thrown around to start and there’s a Flair Flip in the corner. Mabel headbutts him out of the air and hits a really awkward looking suplex. A test of strength makes Steele scream (how familiar) as Mabel starts in on the arm, allowing commentary to talk about pop culture. Mabel splashes him in the corner and hits a Boss Man Slam for the pin at 2:15. That guy couldn’t have been more of a Flair knockoff is his life depended on it. Just minus the talent that is.

It’s the Summerslam Report and we talk about Leslie Nielsen being brought in to figure out the Undertaker ordeal. Also announced over the weekend: Bret Hart defending the WWF Title against Owen Hart inside a cage. One of those things is better than the other.

House show ads.

Owen Hart vs. Reno Riggins

Jim Neidhart is here with Owen. They go technical to start as the fans want Bret. Riggins manages an armbar with some hard wrenching but Owens slaps him in the face. Owen takes him down until Riggins hits him in the face as well. That earns Riggins a belly to belly into the Sharpshooter for the submission at 2:55. Riggins was slightly more competitive than I would have expected.

Owen takes his sweet time letting go.

Here’s what’s coming next week, including Tatanka vs….Nikolai Volkoff. That might not be worth advertising.

Sparky Plugg vs. George South

South sends him into the corner to start but Plugg gets in a kick to the ribs. There’s a slam into a headlock as Plugg looks ridiculous in the lime green singlet. A headscissors takes South down as commentary talks about Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Pressley. South fights out of a headlock but charges into an elbow, setting up a high crossbody to finish for Plugg at 2:40.

We get a long recap of the Undertaker Is Missing, starting with him “ascending” at the Royal Rumble via casket cam. Then various people saw him around the country. Then Ted DiBiase claimed to have brought back the Undertaker but Paul Bearer didn’t buy it. We hear from Bearer, says the real Undertaker will be back at Summerslam. Then DiBiase says he has the real Undertaker. This story is stupid.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Gary Sabaugh

Sabaugh is better known as the Italian Stallion in the NWA, which explains the random “Italy” written on his trunks. Bigelow runs him own with a shoulder to start and a splash in the corner makes it worse. An elbow to the face gives Bigelow two and we hit the quickly broken chinlock. Sabaugh slugs and clotheslines away but walks into a powerslam. A Million Dollar Dream bulldog (it didn’t look great) finishes for Bigelow at 2:55.

Ted DiBiase says he has been talking to Lex Luger but the deal isn’t closed yet. He has a big announcement this weekend but here is Tatanka to yell at DiBiase about buying Luger. That earns Tatanka an offer of $10,000 if he can beat Nikolai Volkoff next week. Deal.

Overall Rating: C+. The opener was good and the rest of the matches were good enough to carry things. That being said, the idea of the Undertaker vs. Undertaker feud being one of the best things that the WWF had at the time is not a good sign. There are good things going on in the WWF but my goodness that feud is dea…..well it’s really bad.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 15, 1994
Location: Lowell Memorial Auditorium, Lowell, Massachusetts
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage

We are two weeks away from Summerslam and last week’s show saw a huge focus on Lex Luger vs. Tatanka. Other than that, the Undertaker vs. Fake Undertaker feud is still nothing important and Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart is making up for it. The rest of the card is set and it’s really nothing much to see. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Tatanka accusing Lex Luger of selling out to Ted DiBiase.

Opening sequence.

Commentary previews the show.

1-2-3 Kid vs. Owen Hart

Jim Neidhart is here with Owen. Kid kicks Owen in the face to start fast (ala their classic at the 1994 King of the ring) before starting in on the arm. Back up and Owen pulls him down by the hair as commentary points out that Owen is going to want to beat Kid faster than Bret could beat him five weeks ago (nice touch).

Kid’s headlock keeps Owen down but he finally cheats his way to freedom and nails a headbutt. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Kid hiptosses him down but gets kicked away. Stereo nipups let Kid send him outside for a baseball slide and a big springboard dive (in 1994) makes it worse.

We take a break and come back with Owen suplexing him to the floor in a NASTY crash and then slapping Kid in the face a few times. Some postings keep Kid in trouble and a hard whip into the buckle stays on his bad back. We hit the chinlock with a knee in said back, followed by a neckbreaker for…no cover. Instead Owen goes up top and misses some double knees before missing the enziguri as well. Kid grabs the half crab as the confused fans think you can get a 1-2-3 out of that kind of hold. Neidhart comes in for the DQ at 13:30.

Rating: B. It wasn’t quite the King of the Ring match but the Kid can do some great things in the ring and Owen compliments him very well. I’m not sure if I would have had Owen not be able to put Kid away two weeks before the biggest match of his career, Owen has already proven that he can beat Bret anyway. Good match with a bad ending, the former of which shouldn’t be any kind of a surprise.

Post match, Owen and Neidhart beat the Kid down even more.

It’s time for the Summerslam Report, with a chat about Bret vs. Owen and Undertaker vs. Undertaker. Other than that, Razor Ramon is bringing in Walter Payton to even things out with Shawn Michaels and Diesel.

We hear from Payton, who is ready to take out Shawn (Razor doesn’t actually say anything as Payton does some good cue card reading).

Some more of the card gets a quick look, with another look promised for later tonight. Yay.

Abe Knuckleball Schwartz reminds us that he is on strike. Earlier tonight, he blamed the fans for baseball being on strike, because the owners certainly can’t be blamed. Sweet goodness topical WWF is stupid.

Duke Droese vs. Nick Barbery

Joined in progress after an ICOPRO ad and Droese hits a powerslam. The chinlock goes on as a USA chant starts up for some reason. Barbery fights up and actually gets in a few shots until a clothesline takes his head off. A big elbow finishes Barbery at 1:26. I still think there was something to Droese if he wasn’t saddled with the goofy gimmick.

Leslie Nielsen is still trying to find Undertaker and the puns and plays on words are very strong with this one. After having his own look-a-like arrested, Nielsen promises to solve the case at Summerslam.

Call and waste money to say if Lex Luger sold out or not.

Kwang vs. Tony Roy

Ted DiBiase is on commentary to talk about Lex Luger. Kwang stomps away, sprays mist into the air, stomps away some more, and finishes with a spinwheel kick at 46 seconds.

It’s time for the King’s Court with Ted DiBiase. Jerry Lawler talks about all the people saying there is nothing to DiBiase’s Undertaker so here is Paul Bearer for the big argument. Bearer insists that DiBiase’s is fake and promises the real Undertaker will destroy the fake one at Summerslam. DiBiase brings out the fake Undertaker (who again, looks like an Undertaker cosplayer), with Bearer promising more destruction. Fake Undertaker chokes Bearer out until the lights go off, allowing Bearer to escape.

Mabel vs. Raymond Roy

Oscar raps Mabel to the ring so a big clothesline can drop Roy. A Hennig necksnap of all things connects and an elbow to the face sets up quite the slam. Mabel splashes him in the corner and drops the middle rope elbow for the pin at 2:32 in a nearly literal squash.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Scott Taylor

Joined in progress with Jeff dropkicking him down but Taylor gets a sunset flip for two. Jarrett blocks a rollup attempt but a small package gives Taylor two more. Back up and Jarrett takes him down, setting up the Figure Four for the win at 2:00.

Post match Oscar (rapping again) and Mabel come to the ring for the rap vs. country showdown but referees break it up.

Vince and Randy preview Sunday Night Slam (which is taking place of next week’s Raw) to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The opener absolutely carries this show as Summerslam is looking pretty awful outside of Bret vs. Owen. Other than Owen vs. Kid, this was a bunch of squashes and nothing stands out in the slightest (save for Mabel doing a Hennig neck snap). This was a rough time for the company and that was on full display here, with one bad thing after another. Just get through with Summerslam and move on to anything else already.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Summerslam 1995
Date: August 27, 1995
Location: Pittsburgh Civic Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 18,062
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

So it’s time for the annual redos and for some reason, my readers decided to have me watch one of the worst Summerslams of all time. I’m so thrilled. Anyway this is built around Diesel vs. King Mabel in one of those moments where Vince McMahon was considered completely insane. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the big matches tonight, including Diesel vs. Mabel, Jerry Lawler sending his evil dentist (that will never sound normal) against Bret Hart, Kama Mustafa vs. Undertaker (over the again stolen urn) and the sequel to the ladder match (which was added because the company knew they were dead in the water otherwise).

I still love the big flying blimp in the arena. The fans behind it must be so thrilled. Now am I being sarcastic on that one?

Dean Douglas, the annoying teacher, is in the back to critique all of the matches. I’m not a Shane fan, but to go from the Franchise to this is a shame.

1-2-3 Kid vs. Hakushi

Vince: “The Kid is ready for WWF action!” You mean this isn’t the Boggle tournament? Hakushi’s White Angel look is way too awesome for a show like this. Kid grabs a headlock to start but gets taken down by the hair, with a fan opposite the hard camera being VERY upset by the cheating. A trip takes Hakushi down but he kicks Kid away, giving us a double nipup.

Back up and they both miss spinning kicks for another early standoff. Hakushi finally sends him into the corner for the handspring elbow and the fans aren’t sure what to think of it (fair enough as he’s a heel, but an awesome heel). The Bronco Buster hits Kid (so that’s where he got it) and it’s time to kick at his leg. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Hakushi sends him outside and hits a cartwheel into a backdrop over the top for your YOU DO KNOW IT’S 1995 spot.

Back in and a top rope headbutt to the standing Kid gets two but a top rope splash misses. Kid dropkicks him to the floor and hits his own dive, followed by a slingshot legdrop for two. Kid’s top rope splash connects for the patented 1-2-He Got Him NO! Back up and Kid tries a spinwheel kick but gets caught in something like a belly to back suplex to give Hakushi the pin at 9:28.

Rating: B-. This was WAY ahead of its time with stuff like the Space Flying Tiger Drop of all things being far more than you would expect from a WWF match in 1995. The Kid was very good as well and fought from underneath with his own high flying. Good stuff here, though I’m worried about what else they have for the rest of the night.

Dok Hendrix is WAY too excited to know about Mabel’s master plan. You’ll just have to wait, exactly like Big Daddy Fool. And that’s before he even gets in the ring people.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Bob Holly

Helmsley is brand new here and still an undefeated blue blood. There’s no contact for the first minute so Holly grabs him for a slam and an armdrag sends Helmsley into the corner. Holly charges at him though and gets caught in a Stun Gun to let Helmsley take over. Vince talks about wanting to see Lawler in a go kart or bumper cars as Holly gets whipped hard into the corner.

The chinlock goes on and we cut to British Bulldog arriving, even though he has nothing to say. Back in and arena and Holly’s abdominal stretch is countered with a hiptoss over the top. Holly is right back up with a DDT and the dropkick with the backdrop completing the jobber level comeback. A missed charge lets Helmsley finish with the Pedigree at 7:10.

Rating: D. Oh come on. I know it’s a different era but this made Summerslam? I can get behind the idea of a match to make a newcomer look good but this wasn’t entertaining on any level. Helmsley was clearly someone they wanted to push but this would have been boring on Raw and we get it on a pay per view. At least it was short, but that’s all I’ve got.

Some wrestlers and firemen had a charity tug of war. Nothing wrong with that.

Blu Brothers vs. Smoking Gunns

Jacob (of Jacob and Eli Blu, which sounds conspicuously like Jake and Elwood Blues) gets caught in an early armbar from Billy. It’s off to Bart in a hurry but Eli snaps his throat across the top to take over. A quick crossbody gets Bart out of trouble though and Billy comes back in.

The yet to be named H Bomb (when they would become the Harris Twins that is) plants Billy for a delayed two and it’s off to the also yet to be named Tree of Woe (1995 needs to catch up with the times already). Lawler: “I bought five copies of Windows 95 and I don’t even have a computer.” After that random line, Eli gets two off a powerslam as the second Raw level match continues. Billy gets in a dropkick and brings in Bart to clean house. Heel miscommunication lets the Sidewinder connect for the fast pin on Eli at 6:11.

Rating: D-. At least in the Helmsley vs. Holly match (something that has never been said) they were pushing someone new and fresh. Here it’s a win for the Gunns, who had been around for years and were former Tag Team Champions. And against the Blu Brothers? That’s the best they can put together for what should be the second biggest show of the year? Thank goodness we were only a few weeks away from Nitro because this is some horrible planning.

We recap Barry Horowitz vs. Skip in a rematch of the huge upset of Barry pinning Skip. Barry then won by surviving a ten minute challenge, meaning it’s time for a third match. The idea here is that Barry hasn’t won a match in years but managed to pull this one off. How this is supposed to make me want to watch isn’t clear, as Barry is only going to be known to long time fans who are going to be watching in the first place.

Barry Horowitz vs. Skip

Sunny is out with Skip and does her trademark great rant about how they were cheated twice but it won’t happen again. Barry charges to the ring (with the awesome rock version of Hava Nagila) and hammers away to start with a clothesline putting Skip on the floor. Back in and Barry gets two off an O’Connor roll before suplexing Skip over the top again. Sunny tries to throw in the towel but is told that it’s not boxing and doesn’t count. Uh, it counted for Bob Backlund in 1983.

The distraction works well enough for Skip to jump Barry from behind, meaning it’s time for some jumping jacks. For some reason, this turns into a discussion of who would win in a fight between Siskel and Ebert. Barry is back up with some shoulders for two and a sunset flip for the same. Skip runs him over again though and it’s off to a seated abdominal stretch. That’s broken up as well and Horowitz goes old school with a Thesz press of all things for two more.

Skip pulls it back to the mat for legdrops and a chinlock but Barry jobbers up. They trade dropkicks and it’s a double knockdown as this keeps going. Another dropkick from Barry crotches him on top but Skip knocks him backwards. The Swan Dive gives Skip two so Barry hits another dropkick and goes up. This time it’s Sunny crotching him down for a change, which draws out Hakushi of all people. The distraction into a rollup lets Barry get his third straight win at 11:23.

Rating: D. AND??? Am I really supposed to get behind Horowitz after this? The guy has a career win/loss record somewhere lower than mine and now he’s getting a win on Summerslam? Somehow this is the best that they can do and that sums up a lot of the problems they were having around this point.

Dean Douglas uses a telestrator to talk about the previous match in big words. Barry gets an S for Slacker.

Shane throws it to Vince but we get Todd Pettengill instead, who gives us a look at the Wrestlemania X ladder match. Shawn Michaels says you can’t prepare for a ladder match but Razor isn’t taking his title again tonight.

Women’s Title: Bertha Faye vs. Alundra Blayze

Faye, with Harvey Wippleman, is challenging and her gimmick is that she’s large and not very attractive. This is one of those gimmicks that was bad then, worse later and horrible today. Blayze kicks her down to start and sweeps the leg for a bonus. More kicks have Bertha in trouble but she runs Blayze over, because she’s big you see.

The middle rope splash misses and Blayze gets two off a victory roll. Some running head slams get no cover as Harvey has the referee. Instead Blayze goes after him but can’t get the German suplex on Faye. A hurricanrana gives Blayze two and a missile dropkick has Faye reeling. Another dropkick misses though and it’s a sitout powerbomb to give Faye the pin and the title at 4:37.

Rating: D-. You can hear Vince laughing at this one and doing so all by himself. This gimmick isn’t funny and it’s a waste of someone as talented as she was. Is there any reason why they felt the need to humiliate someone that they brought in? There was nothing that the women could do when Faye was only allowed to use the “I’m big” offense in a short match. Terrible stuff here and it’s not on the wrestlers.

Post match Faye says she’s the beauty now and has the belt. Blayze would get it back in about two months.

We recap Undertaker vs. Kama Mustafa, who is the latest person to steal the urn (and melted it down into a big gold chain because reasons) as part of Undertaker vs. the Million Dollar Corporation, which felt like it went on forever. Kama even beat up some of the Creatures of the Night, meaning he’s gone too far. Therefore, it’s a casket match because what else could it be.

Paul Bearer and Undertaker promise to finish Kama.

Undertaker vs. Kama Mustafa

Casket match with Ted DiBiase in Kama’s corner to counter Bearer. Undertaker isn’t wasting time and picks Kama up for some choking and then throws him onto the casket. Something close to a Stinger Splash (THEY’RE DOING THE MATCH!!!) and Old School connects. The casket is opened revealing the Casket Cam as Kama is knocked in.

That goes nowhere this early and Kama is right back up with a top rope clothesline. Undertaker’s second Stinger Splash is caught with a powerslam and of course he sits up again. DiBiase offers a distraction so Kama can hammer and kick away. A clothesline puts Undertaker on top of the closed casket and a suplex does it again. Kama can’t piledrive him on the casket though and Undertaker backdrops him inside.

That’s fine with Kama, who hits a powerslam for a cover, checking off your required “I forgot this is a casket match” box. We hit the chinlock for a good while as the match just stops as they lay there. A belly to back suplex finally gives them something to do and the comeback is on.

The jumping clothesline connects but it’s a Cactus Clothesline to put them both in the casket. They come out and it’s a prototype of the famous shot of Shawn Michaels being dragged back in as Kama is put inside again. Back in and Kama grabs a swinging neckbreaker to put them both down again. The chokeslam connects though and it’s a Tombstone to finish Kama for good at 16:26.

Rating: D. It wasn’t even that it was bad but it was WAY too long with all of the laying around and Kama being the least believable opponent Undertaker has had in a long time. Kama felt like the villain in the fourth edition of an action movie series that has gone on too long and the star needed a paycheck. Really dull stuff here and the last thing the show needed.

Lawler is very excited about the idea of Isaac Yankem removing Bret Hart’s teeth.

Video on Yankem, who really is an evil dentist and we really are supposed to believe this as something threatening. Lawler vs. Hart has been going on for over two years now and has offered some awesome stuff, but as soon as Todd says “the King recruited a dentist”, it loses me a bit. Yankem is of course better known as Kane and his story of hearing that he was being brought in to be an evil dentist is rather funny.

Bret is ready to shut Lawler’s mouth. Bret to Yankem: “I don’t care if you’re a dentist.” Words never spoken in wrestling before or since.

Isaac Yankem vs. Bret Hart

Lawler handles Yankem’s entrance. As a bonus pun, Yankem is billed from Decay-tur, Illinois. Lawler is on commentary for a bit of a surprise as Bret gets shoved down to start. Yankem misses a big elbow but is fine enough to send Bret hard into the corner. Bret is back with an atomic drop and a clothesline for a trip to the floor. Back in and Bret hits a middle rope clothesline, followed by the headbutt to the abdomen.

The backslide gets two as Lawler is saying only Vince needs to be impartial tonight. Another hard whip into the corner takes Bret down again and Isaac chokes on the ropes until the referee drags him away by the hair. More choking ensues as Yankem doesn’t have the highest variety in his offense so far.

Bret is back up and sends him outside for a suicide dive as the comeback is on. Back in and it’s time for the Five Moves Of Doom but a Lawler distraction breaks up the Sharpshooter. Lawler stays up to cheer on Yankem’s beating (as he should) but Bret gets in a slam off the top for a rare power display.

In a change of pace, Bret ties Yankem’s legs around the post and stomps away until the referee unties Yankem’s feet. Lawler would do it but he’s too busy getting beaten up by Bret. The distraction lets Yankem hit a top rope ax handle to the back and Lawler helps him tie Bret’s neck in the ropes for the DQ at 16:10.

Rating: C+. Bret was doing everything he could here but Yankem wasn’t there yet and there’s only so much you can do as an evil dentist. The match felt straight out of Memphis with someone wanting to get at Lawler but he brought in his latest monster for protection. It’s a perfectly usable story and the match wasn’t bad, so I’ll take what I can get here.

Post match Lawler and Yankem pull at the still trapped Bret until referees break it up.

Razor Ramon isn’t scared of Shawn Michaels and he’ll take every chance he can get. If Shawn is ready to dance, Razor leads.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon

Shawn is defending in a ladder match, which was added due to “fan demand”, which is a rather accurate definition of what happened (originally scheduled to be Shawn vs. Sid before the company woke up and saw the rest of the card). The title is raised but hang on because Shawn isn’t happy with the way it’s attached to the hook (likely a problem with how the finish was supposed to go). Dok Hendrix has replaced Lawler on commentary.

They both look up at the title and then go to the slugout, as they should have done. The threat of an early superkick has Razor grabbing the ropes in a smart move. A Razor’s Edge attempt has Shawn looking worried so Razor throws him outside without much trouble. It’s time to go for the ladder but Shawn cuts Razor off from getting it. I’ve never gotten that but I guess it’s a pride thing.

They head back to the ring instead with Razor suplexing Shawn outside but Shawn’s leg hits the barricade in a nasty looking crash. Dok: “I might suggest that’s it.” Vince: “Uh yes that’s it.” Back in and Shawn escapes the Edge again but misses another superkick, meaning it’s a double clothesline to put them both down. Razor is up first and hits a super fall away slam as he continues the early dominance (they’re building things up here and that’s going to pay off in the end).

Now the ladder is brought in as we see Sid watching in the back. Shawn makes a fast save though and it’s his turn to grab the ladder, but he would rather hit Razor than climb. Razor breaks up a climb by pulling the tights down and then shoves the ladder over in a smart move. Replays show Shawn’s leg getting caught in the ladder on the way down as the focal point continues to grow.

The leg gets crushed in the ladder again and the fans aren’t pleased. Razor slams him legs first onto the ladder and then puts the ladder on the middle rope in the corner. That gives Razor another place to drop Shawn’s knee onto the ladder and it’s time to go into the Ric Flair cannonballs onto the leg. Shawn kicks him to the floor for a breather but that just lets Razor wrap the knee around the post. Back in and the knee gets wrenched again The ladder is set up in the middle of the ring but Shawn suplexes Razor back down for a double knockdown.

Shawn puts the ladder in the corner and whips Razor into it and bring the cheers back. A moonsault off the ladder lets Shawn hammer away but he misses the huge splash off the ladder (call back tot he previous match) and they’re both down again. They both make the slow climb and crash back down for a double crotching on the top. A missed charge with the ladder has Shawn falling out to the floor and Razor goes down with him. Shawn goes back in and sets up the ladder but Razor brings in a second ladder (a new concept at the time).

Razor drops his though and hits the Razor’s Edge off the original ladder for the big knockout shot. He can’t follow up though and they’re both down again. Both ladders are set up for a double climb but Shawn superkicks him down. Hang on though as Shawn isn’t under the belt so he jumps for it, meaning another crash down onto the bad leg. Another Razor’s Edge attempt is countered with a backdrop to the floor, allowing Shawn to go up and grab the title….but he falls again without the belt coming down. A ticked off Shawn goes up and pulls the title down to retain at 25:09.

Rating: A. Yeah this was outstanding and you could argue it’s better than the original. The big difference here was having the match involve a ladder instead of being about a ladder. They had a heck of a match with Razor working the leg and Shawn having to find a way around the power game. The teasing of finishers until the end was a great addition as well and the whole thing was a blast with big spots and awesome action throughout. Check this out and then go watch the first one again because you really could say either of them is better.

Post match Razor grabs the belt but hands it to Shawn for the nice moment.

Douglas doesn’t like Razor calling himself the Bad Guy when Razor comes in to knock him down with one punch.

Diesel isn’t worried about Mabel. You know, because he’s Mabel.

WWF World Title: King Mabel vs. Diesel

Mabel, with Sir Mo, is defending and the story here is finding out his Royal Plan. We get the trash talking before the bell and my goodness Mabel’s crown looks pitiful. It looks like it’s made of paper or cheap plastic and comes off like a toy instead of something serious. Kind of like his whole push in a way.

Mabel runs him over to start and chops away in the corner but Diesel forearms him back. The big slam doesn’t work so Diesel hits some clotheslines to put Mabel on the floor. Diesel actually manages a dive over the top (not terrible either) to take Mabel down but the fans just do not care. Mabel charges into a big boot but is back in with a….I guess Boss Man Slam, but he shoved Diesel down instead of picking him up. To mix it up a bit, Mabel sits on Diesel’s back but misses a backsplash.

The referee gets bumped so Mo comes in (which seems to be the Royal Plan), drawing out Lex Luger for the save. Well the attempted save at least as Luger is knocked outside, leaving Mabel to drop the leg on Diesel on the floor. Luger takes care of Mo (Did Luger just come out early or something? Also, that would be his last appearance in the company as he would debut on Nitro eight days later), leaving Mabel to hit the belly to belly for two. Mabel misses a middle rope splash though, allowing Diesel to hit a middle rope clothesline to retain at 9:16 (admittedly to a big pop).

Rating: D-. Oh come on what else were you expecting here? It’s freaking MABEL. Diesel is someone who can have a great match with the right opponent but Mabel is so far away from being the right opponent that he’s the left one. There’s no way to make this work as Mabel was nothing more than the big guy with a lame lackey. There was no way this was going to work, the match was terrible and they got them out of there almost as fast as possible. What else could this have been?

Overall Rating: D. There are some bright spots in here, but aside from the classic ladder match, this could have been any given house show. The opener was good, Bret vs. Yankem could have been a lot worse and the ladder match is awesome. Other than that, there is no reason to think of this as a special show in any way and that was very clear throughout. I know it’s a dark time for the company, but this was them putting out whatever they had because they had to do a show instead of trying to put on a great show. Terrible for the most part, with a few bright spots sprinkled in.

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Summerslam 1994
Date: August 29, 1994
Location: United Center, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 23,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

This is the old review of the year and that’s an interesting choice. The show has a double main event of WWF World Champion Bret Hart defending against his brother Owen to continue their awesome feud, plus the wholly unawesome Undertaker vs. Fake Undertaker match. It’s the best of both worlds you see. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Randy Savage to welcome us to the show, held in the brand new United Center. Somehow, this is the only pay per view the company has ever run from the arena.

Jerry Lawler has some breaking news: Shawn Michaels and Diesel have become the new Tag Team Champions after defeating the Headshrinkers last night. What an odd time to do a title change, but 1994 was an odd time.

IRS/Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Headshrinkers

IRS and Bigelow have Ted DiBiase in their corner and this was originally going to be a title match. The Headshrinkers (Samu/Fatu) have Afa and Lou Albano with them, just to crank up the bizarre state of the show so far. Bigelow runs Fatu (not Samu Vince, though to be fair it’s a pretty easy mistake to make) over with a shoulder but eats the superkick for two. Fatu avoids a very early top rope headbutt and a double superkick puts Bigelow down again. Samu comes in, so Vince says Samu is now in, after saying Samu started.

Vince really wasn’t great at this whole thing. Samu starts cleaning house and ducks an IRS charge to send him outside. Back in and Bigelow low bridges Fatu to the floor but it’s a double clothesline for a double knockdown. The hot(ish) tag brings Samu back in for a BAAAACK body drop and a headbutt to Bigelow, which works because Samoans have hard heads. The middle rope headbutt gets two on IRS with Bigelow making a save. With Bigelow being knocked to the floor, the double Stroke sets up the Superfly Splash but Bigelow goes after Albano. That’s enough to draw Afa in for the DQ at 7:18.

Rating: D+. Pretty lame opener here with the lack of the titles taking away the little interest this match had. The Headshrinkers are good in their roles but Bigelow and IRS are a pretty generic team who don’t have much to do here. I’m still not sure what the point is in having the titles change early. Why not just do it the next night on Raw?

They brawl to the back.

And now, for your comedy of the show. The detectives from the Naked Gun movies are trying to find the Undertaker, complete with a bunch of puns and sight gags. Such gems include “we’re both on the case” as they stand on a briefcase.

Women’s Title: Bull Nakano vs. Alundra Blayze

Blayze is defending and Nakano has Luna Vachon in her corner. For those of you of a younger age, Nakano is a rather terrifying Japanese monster and Blayze’s archnemesis. We get the ceremonial flower presentation but Vachon throws hers at Blayze to really be a jerk. Nakano kicks her in the ribs instead of shaking hands but it’s too early for a powerbomb. A knee to the ribs cuts the champ off and Nakano throws her down by the hair.

We hit the chinlock (with Nakano’s back to the camera because she doesn’t know how to work) until Blayze makes the rope, which isn’t an escape you see that often. The yet to be named hurricanrana gives Blayze two but Nakano pulls her down into a Boston crab with both legs under one arm. With that broken up, Nakano puts on what would become Paige’s Scorpion Crosslock.

Since Blayze hasn’t been tortured enough yet, Nakano switches to a cross armbreaker. Back up and three straight running sleeper drops have Nakano in trouble but she powers out of a piledriver attempt. A powerbomb gets two on the champ as the pace has picked WAY up out of nowhere. Blayze avoids the guillotine legdrop though, kicks Vachon down and grabs the German suplex to retain at 8:17.

Rating: B. For 1994, this was some insane stuff in America, especially for a women’s match. Blayze really was good but Nakano was one of the best of the era. She was big, strong, could wrestle on the mat and had the submission skills to be that dominant. Unfortunately these two pretty much the entire division for a long time so it could only go so far.

Shawn Michaels and Diesel brag about winning the titles because the Heartbreak Hotel needed some more gold. Diesel says Razor Ramon isn’t taking one of his two titles tonight. Razor has had a bunch of chances and tonight isn’t going to change anything.

Intercontinental Title: Razor Ramon vs. Diesel

Razor is challenging and has NFL Hall of Famer Walter Payton in his corner to balance out Shawn. The white boots are a weird look for Razor. Shawn talks trash to Payton to start and Razor fires off the right hands, which look very good against someone Diesel’s size. Back in after a quick trip to the floor and Diesel gets in his own punches to take over. A sleeper slows Razor down even more and Diesel throws him outside.

Shawn goes for the turnbuckle pad but Payton chases him off, allowing Shawn to forearm Razor behind the referee’s back. I could watch Shawn outsmart people for days. Back in again and the referee stands in front of the exposed buckle but Shawn’s second distraction allows Razor to be whipped in. Diesel hits Snake Eyes onto an unexposed buckle as Lawler thinks the pad fell off the other one. A chinlock with a knee to the back keeps Razor in trouble and a big boot knocks his head off.

We hit the abdominal stretch, which at least looks more painful than a chinlock with a knee in the back. Diesel grabs the rope, making me wish we had Bobby Heenan there to explain why it’s more to avoid a hiptoss counter than to add more leverage. Razor gets out and sends Diesel ribs first into the exposed buckle, sending Lawler into hysterics as it should.

The middle rope bulldog (the Hall Buster) gets two and there’s a right hand to knock Shawn off the apron for a great over the top sell. A flying shoulder gives Diesel a breather so Shawn goes after the belt. Payton goes after him again and of course the referee yells, allowing Shawn to superkick Diesel by mistake. Shawn gets pulled outside and Razor finally crawls over for the pin to get the title back at 15:01.

Rating: B-. I’ve always had a mixed reaction to this one as the match itself is pretty good but Payton being out there was just a celebrity cameo that could have been anyone. Razor getting the title back was the right call as Shawn and Diesel are already having issues. They could have cut a few minutes out here, but what we got was still good enough and didn’t get sunk by the extra time.

Diesel yells at Shawn all the way to the back.

Savage talks about what we just saw.

Lex Luger and Tatanka are in the back. A fan poll has 54% saying that Luger sold out to Ted DiBiase and Tatanka is tired of hearing Luger deny it. We see a montage of DiBiase and Luger getting very close, but Luger still swears there’s nothing going on because DiBiase is lying. Tatanka is going to prove his story in the ring tonight.

Lex Luger vs. Tatanka

There’s no DiBiase to start. Feeling out process to start with Luger running him over but not following up. Tatanka’s armbar has no effect so Luger puts him down again, only to miss the jumping elbow (as always). That means we get more of Tatanka’s lame offense, including the top rope chop to the head. The second attempt gets punched out of the air and Luger starts in with the clotheslines. Cue DiBiase with a gym bag as Luger hits a powerslam. DiBiase pulls money out of the bag as Luger yells at him, allowing Tatanka to grab a rollup for the pin at 6:02.

Rating: D. This was all about the storyline instead of the wrestling and that’s not surprising. Neither Luger nor Tatanka were going to have a good match at this point so the story was the only way this was going to work. Tatanka was a fine midcard hand but if he had even a slightly better offense, he could have been a much bigger deal. There comes a point where you need the wrestling to back up the character and that just wasn’t the case for him.

Post match Luger kicks the money out of DiBiase’s hands so Tatanka jumps him from behind, revealing that he sold out. I’ve always liked that story, as bad as the match was. What I don’t like is how long this goes on, as Tatanka beats him up three different times, capped off by the Million Dollar Dream. We get the money in Luger’s mouth for a little old school touch.

Gorilla Monsoon is aghast at what we just saw. Agreed. That money must be filthy.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Mabel

This is going to be a disaster. During the entrances, Vince and Jerry debate the detectives’ skills and if Lawler has any rhythm. Mabel tosses away a wristlock attempt (Jarrett’s sell is quite good) and drops the big elbow when Jarrett tries a drop down. A clothesline puts Jarrett on the floor so he shoves the rapping Oscar. That’s not going to get him booed as Oscar isn’t very good. Back in and Jeff scores with some middle rope ax handles but Mabel crushes him in the corner.

The spinwheel kick (the one good thing that Mabel could do) gets two as Abe Knuckleball Schwartz (the Brooklyn Brawler as a baseball player) is on strike in the crowd. This adds nothing and isn’t funny or interesting, but it’s a thing that happens. Sounds like 1994 as a whole. They head outside with Oscar getting in a slap and Mabel splashing Jeff against the post. Back in and the middle rope splash misses, followed by a missed sitdown splash to give Jeff the pin at 5:57.

Rating: F. Oh what were you expecting here? Mabel was fat and useless while Jarrett wasn’t exactly someone who was going to carry anyone at this point, especially someone that big. This should have been on Raw at best and comes off as terrible filler here. Mainly because that’s what it was.

Vince introduces the detectives in the aisle, blowing their cover. Undertaker’s silhouette appears in the entrance but they don’t see him. Because they’re bad at their jobs you see.

We recap Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart. This started way back in 1993 when Owen was the only Hart eliminated at the Survivor Series, which he blamed on Bret. Owen and Bret then teamed up to try and win the Tag Team Titles, but Bret wouldn’t tag out when injured, leading to a referee stoppage.

They went on to have a classic at Wrestlemania X with Owen pinning Bret clean. Bret won the WWF World Title later in the night and the feud was on for the rest of the summer. Owen even won the King of the Ring (just like his brother the previous year) to earn another title shot. Tonight is the big blowoff inside a cage. This really was a great feud as you could see Owen’s point all along and it built up perfectly over time.

Earlier today, Owen and crony Jim Neidhart (Bret’s former partner) were in the cage and promised to destroy Bret once and for all tonight.

Bret is going to forget they’re family tonight because Owen will be crying a river of tears, just like he did when he was a baby.

The Hart Family, including Davey Boy Smith, is at ringside and Helen can’t believe this is happening. Stu hopes the best wrestler wins and sounds as only he can. Lawler accuses both of them of causing all of this and thinks Smith will turn on Bret again. Lawler: “Wouldn’t you love to be in there with Bret again tonight?” Smith: “Uh, not really.” Neidhart is behind Smith and says we’ll see Owen prove that he’s the better man once and for all. Bruce Hart spins around and says stay out of this.

Bret, recovering from strep throat, says his condition won’t change anything tonight. What we’re going to see tonight is barbaric and nothing like what they did when they were kids. Everyone wants things to end tonight and Bret is going to finish it to heal his family.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

Bret is defending in a cage with escape only to win. Owen goes right at him to start and hammers away during the entrances, followed by some hard right hands to the head. You can see Helen panicking over the whole thing and a DDT by Bret makes things even worse. It’s too early to escape though and Owen scores with some headbutts, followed by an enziguri to really rock Bret. He’s fine enough to suplex Owen off the cage and it’s a double knockdown.

Owen goes for the door so Bret bends him around the ropes for a save and drags him right back in. They’re setting up a good feel here with both of them going for the escape and being pulled back for more punishment. That ties in the idea of wanting to hurt each other but wanting to be the better man even more, which is really what this is all about. They both wind up on the top rope and slug it out with Owen knocking him down.

Instead of getting the easy climb out though, Owen comes back with a missile dropkick into a nipup. Both make some fast climbs up the cage but get pulled down for a crash each. A collision gives us another double knockdown as they’re taking their time building the drama, mainly because they’ve got the time to do so. It’s still too early for Owen to get out the door as Bret pulls him out, only to get pulled back down from the top for a hard crotching.

Bret is up fast enough for the headbutt between the legs but Owen pulls him down again. Owen gets closer to getting out than any other attempt yet, even getting his feet and legs out of the cage. Bret pulls him back in and sends Owen face first into the cage for a big knockdown. This time the climb is cut off by a belly to back superplex as the crashes and falls are getting bigger and bigger. A good piledriver plants Bret but he’s fine enough to catch a tired Owen again.

They both fall off the ropes this time for a breather until Bret catapults him face first into the cage. Owen has to literally dive over for a save and sends Bret into the cage, with the champ coming up holding his knee. The knee is fine enough to climb up and kick Owen away but he gets pulled back down by the arm.

Owen gets out again and you can feel the fans quiet down as he gets close. He’s pulled back in yet again and Bret kicks him down to the mat but it’s Owen’s turn for a last second save. Bret catches him in the corner and pulls Owen back down with a huge superplex (Bret always had a great one) and they’re both down again. Owen is up first with a Sharpshooter but Bret reverses into one of his own.

A little cranking has Owen down but, say it with me, he lunges over for the save by pulling Bret down hair first. They both climb and this time make it over the top, leaving them hanging on the side. Bret hits him in the ribs, causing Owen to slip and get tied up in the cage wall. That’s enough for Bret to drop down and retain at 32:18.

Rating: A+. I’ve had to say this about several Bret matches before but the wrestling isn’t the point here. This was all about telling a great story and that’s what we got. The thing to remember here is that they don’t hate each other but rather Owen wants to prove he’s better and Bret wants to shut Owen up. It explains why they weren’t trying to kill each other in what is usually a violent match. Instead, they were trying to win, which should be the case in most matches and especially one like this. Notice how the match ends: not with a big spot, but with Bret being one step better than Owen, which is the point of the feud.

It is slower paced and it does feel like they’re doing the same things over and over, but it’s a case of WHY they’re doing the same things over and over. They’re not trying to destroy each other and it really is about being the better man. Owen has gone off the deep end with trying to beat Bret, but it never felt like he wanted to hurt him. That might not make for the most exciting match, but it’s how things should have gone when you think about it.

Post match Neidhart jumps the barricade and clotheslines Davey, knocking him into his wife. Neidhart locks himself inside the cage and the double beatdown is on as Owen has completely snapped. The Hart Brothers storm the cage (always cool) but Owen keeps knocking them off. Davey finally punches Owen down (for a great bump) and gets in, sending Owen and Neidhart running as the rest of the brothers get inside as well.

In the back, Owen and Neidhart yell about how Owen should be the winner and Davey isn’t family. Owen: “Let’s go celebrate my victory!”

Survivor Series ad, making fun of football. Considering how meh that show was, I wouldn’t go that way.

We recap the Undertaker vs. Undertaker. Back in January, Undertaker was destroyed by about a dozen guys and put in a casket. Not to worry as he ascended out of the casket in one of the most ridiculous things you’ll ever see in wrestling. After being gone for several months (aside from some sightings, including by a young child in school), Ted DiBiase said he had seen Undertaker. Paul Bearer said no way but DiBiase brought him back, only to reveal that it was a fake Undertaker (played by Brian Adams, better known as Chainz). The lack of about three inches was a, ahem, dead giveaway.

With Undertaker succumbing to the power of money, Bearer went to the graveyard and said he had the real Undertaker again. After the lights went out one night on the King’s Court (Todd Pettengill: “Look at that brain surgeon Jerry Lawler.”), the real Undertaker said he was back and not with DiBiase. He would be around this coming Monday (at Summerslam) against whatever DiBiase had with him. This video gets well over five minutes as we need to get rid of the cage.

Undertaker vs. Undertaker

For the sake of simplicity, I’ll identify them by the colors of their gloves: gray for the fake one and purple for the real. DiBiase brings his man to the ring but Bearer comes out with just a casket. There’s nothing inside though and the casket is wheeled to the back. Instead Bearer opens the Urn to reveal a light….and here’s the real Undertaker. That certainly seems to be worth the wait for the fans.

Purple shrugs off some forearms to the back and leapfrogs (!) gray, who falls to the floor. Gray stalks Bearer and gets suplexed back inside for his troubles, only to be sent right back to the floor. A Stunner over the top staggers Purple but Old School just isn’t happening. The real Old School connects and now Lawler believes Bearer has the real thing.

Purple misses a charge and falls to the floor as Vince defends the silent crowd. More right hands from gray don’t have much effect but a good looking chokeslam gets….no cover. Gray goes with a Tombstone for no cover again as he spends too long pointing at DiBiase. Purple hits a Tombstone of his own, followed by a second for good measure. A third finally gives purple the pin at 9:10.

Rating: F. Well what was that supposed to be? The biggest problem here is the match was really, really bad with the Tombstone being the only thing worthwhile from the fake Undertaker. That leaves you with about eight minutes of lumbering forearms and right hands as the fans had no idea what to make of anything because there was nothing to get excited about. This would have been much easier to sit through if it didn’t come after twenty minutes of build and a great cage match. For the life of me I’m not sure how they thought this was going to work, but it failed miserably.

Gray gets put in the casket and purple poses before the Urn’s flashlight.

Savage wraps the show up but throws it to the detectives, who find a briefcase. “The case is closed.” That ends the show. Summerslam mind you, ends on a sight gag. I remember watching this live and my dad tried to explain the joke to me because at six years old, this went flying over my head. What a great way to end a show.

Overall Rating: D+. It’s certainly not the worst show as there’s enough good stuff to carry it past horrible, but my goodness they didn’t do themselves any favors here. There’s a reason that 1994 was one of the worst years in company history and this show was a good example. With the fake main event being such a mess, they’re lucky to have an instant classic in the real main event to bail it out. It’s watchable, but be ready to fast forward a lot.

Ratings Comparison

IRS/Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Headshrinkers

Original: C+
2013 Redo: D+

2018 Redo: D+

Alundra Blayze vs. Bull Nakano

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

2018 Redo: B

Razor Ramon vs. Diesel

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: B-

Lex Luger vs. Tatanka

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D

2018 Redo: D

Jeff Jarrett vs. Mabel

Original: D-

2013 Redo: D-

2018 Redo: F

Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

Original: A

2013 Redo: A+

2018 Redo: A+

Undertaker vs. Undertaker

Original: B

2013 Redo: F

2018 Redo: F

Overall Rating

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D+

2018 Redo: D+

I still don’t know how I got a B out of the main event before and I really liked the women’s match more this time around. Other than that, it’s about the same all around.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/28/history-of-summerslam-count-up-summerslam-1994-from-great-matches-to-leslie-nielsen/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/07/30/summerslam-count-up-1994-the-last-great-cage-match/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 9, 1994
Location: Memorial Auditorium, Burlington, Vermont
Attendance: 2,500
Commentators: Randy Savage, Vince McMahon

We’re on the way to the King of the Ring and that means it is time for some qualifying matches. Your tastes may vary on those, but at least they’ll have a purpose. You don’t watch these shows for match quality most of the time so giving them a reason is more interesting than the random squashes. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Earthquake challenging Yokozuna for a match.

Opening sequence.

We run down the card.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Razor Ramon vs. Kwang

Kwang is the future Savio Vega under a mask as a far east martial arts expert (with Harvey Wippleman). They fight over arm control to start until Razor elbows him in the face. With that not working, Kwang chops away in the corner but Razor shows him some better technique. A running clothesline puts Kwang on the floor so he gets back up, earning himself a right hand to the face.

Kwang snaps him throat first across the top though and there’s a hook kick to the face (a Savio Vega trademark). Razor gets a backslide for two before avoiding a charge to send Kwang’s shoulder into the post. It’s time to start working on the arm, including some slaps to the back of the head. Kwang is back up with another kick to the face for no cover as he would rather crank on the neck.

Razor’s lip is busted and Vince promises to go to a wide shot if it gets bad for the sake of children watching. The fact that I can’t actually see which part of his lip is busted because there is almost no visible blood makes me think this might be overcautious. Ramon fights up and strikes away until a shot to the nose (which might be the bleeding part) takes him down.

We take a break and come back with Razor grabbing a chokeslam for a delayed two. The belly to back superplex is countered so Kwang tries a spinning high crossbody, with Razor rolling through for two more. Razor has finally had it with Kwang and tries the Razor’s Edge but can’t muscle him up. A missed spinwheel kick is enough to set up the Razor’s Edge to finish Kwang at 15:03.

Rating: C+. The time and chemistry made this one work as both guys were working. Kwang might have been a goofy character (with a worse name) but he could do some very good things in the ring. Nice long match here, and it is always nice to see something like that on this show.

It’s time for the King of the Ring Report, with Todd Pettengill talking about how the tournament works and what it meant for Bret Hart. On top of that, we have Roddy Piper accepting Jerry Lawler’s challenge for a match. He has nothing left to prove, but he does not like what Lawler has been saying about some sick children in Toronto. A portion of the proceeds will be given to a children’s hospital and I’m sure it will be an incredibly large portion as well. Todd: “We’re working on an address for the hospital so you can donate as well.” How do you work on finding an ADDRESS? It’s a hospital, not a traveling salesman.

Crush vs. Raymond Roy

Mr. Fuji is here with Crush, who is not impressed with Roy to start. Crush goes to talk to Fuji, allowing Roy to grab a quick rollup for two. Some kicks take Roy down and a legdrop makes it even worse. There’s a backbreaker so Crush can sneer a bit and it’s the delayed gorilla press. The Heart Punch finishes Roy in a hurry, even cutting off Savage’s copy read.

Rating: D. This was about all you could have expected here as Crush was being hyped up for his house show feud with Lex Luger. That isn’t much to get excited about, but Luger still has a little momentum after Wrestlemania. Nothing match of course, which is what you should be expecting from this era of Raw.

Come to the Wrestlemania Revenge Tour! Assuming it’s near you! Or even if it isn’t!

Duke the Dumpster Droese is coming. It’s that time.

We see Jerry Lawler and, ahem, Doink, pieing and silly stringing Dink on Superstars but it’s Jeff Jarrett in disguise. Jarrett said he was going to take control of the situation and that is exactly what he did.

Doink the Clown vs. Mike Terrace

Dink is here with Doink as Vince teases that Jeff Jarrett might sing during the upcoming house show tour. Before we can get too far into the match, Jarrett calls into the show to talk about how bad commentary is. Doink takes Terrace down and runs over to the corner to rub Dink’s head. Dink comes in to roll onto Terrace while Jeff says he is the best clown in the world. Back up and Terrace wants a test of strength but gets taken down in a hurry. A backbreaker and elbow keep Terrace in trouble and the Whoopee Cushion (with sound effect) finishes for Doink at 2:28. This feud sums up 1994 pretty well and that’s not a good thing.

We get a video on Earthquake’s sumo career, complete with some pretty cool photos of his 24-0 career. Then he became a WWF wrestler and the rest is history, but he has a lot left to do.

It’s time for the King’s Court with Jerry Lawler, who mocks Roddy Piper’s movies and calls him a coward for not being here. With that out of the way, here are Yokozuna, Mr. Fuji and Jim Cornette to address Earthquake. Cornette talks about the old newsreel footage of Earthquake’s sumo days and says that Earthquake represents the traditional fat American.

Earthquake (the Canadian) the arm chair quarterback who thinks he can play football because he watches it every Sunday. Cornette explains that the name YOKOZUNA means grand sumo champion so of course they’ll accept the challenge. We’ll make it a sumo match with the ropes taken off of the ring. Lawler promises to find out if Undertaker is in.

A trench digger found Undertaker sleeping in the trench. Then Undertaker walked into the woods and disappeared.

Mabel vs. Mike Bell

Oscar is here with Mabel. Bell jumps him from behind to start so Mabel slaps him in the chest a few times. The big clothesline puts Bell down as Savage gets an anonymous note, saying Earthquake is in for the sumo challenge. Mabel works on a short armscissors of all things before dropping the big leg. The splash in the corner sets up the Boss Man Slam to finish Bell at 2:27.

Earthquake is in for next week.

Overall Rating: D+. The opener was good and that’s it for the positives. The King of the Ring stuff is fine for a reason for these people to be fighting but there is a firm limit to how interesting it could be. Throw in a sumo wrestling deal because they’re both big and that’s the extent of the major stories around here. Add in the bad stories and you can see why 1994 has its reputation.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Summerslam 1995
Date: August 27, 1995
Location: Pittsburgh Civic Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 18,062
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

…Hakushi vs. 1-2-3 Kid

The Kid is still a face here and is starting to look someone older. Hakushi is a Japanese guy who is covered in individual characters, even on his face. Feeling out process to start as they fight over a top wristlock. The Kid backflips out of a wristlock and armdrags Hakushi across the ring to take him down. Things speed up with the Kid hip tossing him down but being kicked off by Hakushi into a stalemate. They run the ropes again but both hold a rope and try superkicks but neither can connect.

Hakushi goes to the throat as Vince calls the show SummerSlime. A tilt-a-whirl slam puts the Kid down and Hakushi poses on the ropes for a few long moments. Hakushi hits a Vader Bomb for two and Vince thinks the match should be stopped. The Kid is sent to the floor and Hakushi hits a gorgeous moonsault from the mat to the floor followed by a top rope shoulder block for two back inside. A swan dive misses though and Kid sends him to the floor for a dive of his own. Back in and a slingshot legdrop gets two and a frog splash gets the same. The Kid tries a spin kick but gets caught in a quick powerbomb for the pin.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Bob Holly

We go split screen to see the British Bulldog arriving but he has nothing to say. Helmsley hooks an abdominal stretch but has to hiptoss Holly over the top after he counters. Holly comes back with some dropkicks and some jobber level offense including a backdrop. He tries a second one though and gets caught in a Pedigree for the pin.

Blue Brothers vs. Smoking Gunns

The Gunns get a near fall off some double teaming but Billy walks into an H Bomb (double powerbomb) to stop the momentum dead. Eli puts Billy in the Tree of Woe but tags in Jacob instead of doing anything about it. Jacob draws in Bart to allow for more double teaming and Eli gets two off a powerslam. Billy comes back with a face plant to Jacob and makes the tag off to Bart. Everything breaks down and the Blus are sent into each other, allowing the Gunns to hit the Sidewinder (side slam/guillotine legdrop) on Eli for the pin.

Barry Horowitz vs. Skip

Dean Douglas calls the last match a travesty.

Blayze is defending and Faye is this rather frumpy fat chick designed to be disturbing. She also has Harvey Whippelman with him as her worshiping admirer. Alundra fires off some quickly kicks to start and the 280lb or so Faye runs her over in response. A bad looking hair pull sends Blayze down and some legdrops get two. Bertha misses a middle rope splash and a victory roll gets two for the champion. Three clotheslines get no count for Alundra as Harvey has the referee. Some middle rope dropkicks stagger Bertha but she avoids a third before hitting a Batista Bomb for the title.

Taker says Kama went too far.

Undertaker vs. Kama

Kama is more famous as Godfather and is the Supreme Fighting Machine here, which is kind of an MMA gimmick. Taker pounds away in the corner to start before choking Kama down, only to be kicked in the back when he looks at the casket. Taker knocks Kama over the top and onto the casket to freak him out before hitting a quick splash in the corner. Old School connects and Kama is thrown into the casket but pops right back out. A top rope clothesline puts Taker down for a second but he sits right back up.

Taker finally fights up but gets whipped into the corner to stop him cold again. The jumping clothesline puts Kama down and a regular clothesline puts him inside the casket, but Undertaker falls in with him and the lid closes. Kama fights out again and hits a neckbreaker in the ring to put the Dead Man down again. Not that it matters as Taker stands up, hits the chokeslam and tombstone and throws Kama into the casket for the win.

“Lawler did what he does best: got somebody else to fight his battles for him. He went out and got someone else to fight for him. He got a dentist. Yankem was a demented tooth fairy.”

Isaac Yankem vs. Bret Hart

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon

This is the second ladder match and Shawn is defending. Michaels is over like free beer in a frat house at this point so Razor is the heel by default. The original plan was Shawn vs. Sid but I guess Vince decided to give the show one awesome match to go with the rest of the drek. Also Doc Hendrix is on commentary now. Vince says you would have to be Andre the Giant with a jetpack on your back to reach the belt. SOMEBODY MAKE THAT MOVIE NOW!!!

Razor hands Shawn the belt post match and reaffirms his face status.

WWF World Title: King Mabel vs. Diesel

Ratings Comparison

Hakushi vs. 1-2-3 Kid

Original: B

Redo: C+

Bob Holly vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Original: D+

Redo: D

Smoking Guns vs. Blu Brothers

Original: D

Redo: D

Skip vs. Barry Horowitz

Original: B

Redo: D+

Alundra Blayze vs. Bertha Faye

Original: D+

Redo: F

Undertaker vs. Kama

Original: B-

Redo: D

Bret Hart vs. Isaas Yankem

Original: B-

Redo: C

Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B+

Redo: A

King Mabel vs. Diesel

Original: F+

Redo: F

Overall Rating

Original: F

Redo: D

The original had higher individual ratings but the overall rating was lower. I really was bad at this.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/29/history-of-summerslam-count-up-1995-worst-ppv-ever-pretty-much/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Summerslam 1995
Date: August 27, 1995
Location: Pittsburgh Civic Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 18,062
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

We’re in the In Your House era now and if you’ve read my reviews of the earlier ones, you know what my thoughts are on the booking that was going on in this era. If you haven’t, go read them now you lazy jerks. Dang people trying to just read what comes later and avoid all of the intellectual labor. Anyway, we’re in 1995 and the business is at a seemingly dead end.

No one really knows where to go right now and it would take Hogan’s shocking turn in about 11 months to change everything. Hall and Nash are clearly almost on their way out at this point, which is interesting as they’re both in the singles title matches tonight. Now if you want proof that the business has no idea where to go, think about it. We’re at the point now where your big matches are a rematch of what was a big deal….a year and a half ago, and Diesel vs. Mabel.

Yes, that’s your main event: Diesel vs. Mabel. Bret Hart is fighting an evil dentist, and Barry Horowitz has a match on a pay per view. Think about that for a few minutes while we dig into what is considered one of the worst PPVs ever, Summerslam 1995. Side note: Nitro debuted 8 days after this.

Standard intro talking about the two big matches. Oh and Shawn is a face now. In the back we have Dean Douglas who is critiquing the matches tonight. For those of you that don’t know, Douglas was Matt Striker done properly.

1-2-3 Kid vs. Hakushi

Apparently Kid is from Minnesota, Minneapolis which is a place that’s known for it’s cheap heat. Yeah that joke makes no sense to me either so just go with it. Kid more or less botches jumping into the ring so he must have gotten genuine Columbian cocaine today. Hakushi lost a match to Barry Horowitz earlier in the day so take that for what it’s worth. This is actually a pretty good match so far with some very nice back and forth stuff going on.

Waltman really isn’t that bad against other cruiserweights. The heel is completely dominating as we have a lot of smarks in the crowd who are cheering him. He’d turn face soon enough so that’s all well and good. Lawler insults the Kid and the Pittsburgh fans, which isn’t really that hard to do. He sends Kid to the floor with a SWEET looking back kick. Kid makes his comeback which is actually pretty good. It’s a lot of interesting looking high flying stuff that works really well for someone of his size etc.

Eventually he goes for a spinwheel kick and gets caught in a suplex/powerbomb kind of move for the pin. I really like that ending as it made sense to have Kid keep going for bigger and bigger moves before finally getting caught. That’s a nice little touch to end on.

Rating: B. This was a very solid opener I thought. It was fast paced and exciting as both guys were jumping all over the place and it just flowed really well. The fans were into it which isn’t saying much as this is a very hot crowd to say the least. Good choice for an opener.

In the back, Mabel says that he won’t tell Doc what his surprise is for later.

HHH vs. Bob Holly

Holly is still the racecar guy here while it’s still very early in HHH’s WWF career. He’s been here about 4 months at this time so this is easily his biggest match to date against his toughest opponent. Lawler says that HHH is the kind of guy that eats Kentucky Fried Quail. Is that an insult or a compliment? Anyway, there’s a natural heel thing about HHH that works so well with this blueblood character.

Just about everyone that he would face would have a culture clash with him because who doesn’t hate some rich guy that thinks he’s better than you? BREAKING NEWS! The British Bulldog is here! This is apparently shocking and terrible as he turned heel last week, attacking Diesel. How can something like this happen? A WWF wrestler that’s a pretty big star coming to a WWF event? Yes folks, anything can happen in the WWF, even a guy coming to work.

We of course go split screen to show Smith walking. Oh my goodness, get these people an Emmy blast it! Even being the rich guy vs. the redneck, this is a very boring match. There’s no drama to it at all as Holly just isn’t that good and HHH doesn’t know how good he is yet. Imagine telling Vince back then that HHH would not only be a ten time world champion but also his son in law and the heir to the throne. After about 8 minutes of pure boredom, HHH wins with a not yet perfected pedigree.

Rating: D+. This is just flat out boring. No one wanted to see it and it’s more or less a glorified squash match. Where’s the fun in that? In my eyes, there’s very little indeed. Seriously, why was this on Summerslam again? Did they not have anything better that they could have put on here? They spent half the time talking about Smith so even the announcers didn’t care.

We see a video talking about the WWF vs. Pittsburgh firefighters in a tug of war for some charity thing. Bam Bam, Mabel, Henry Godwin and Savio? Something just doesn’t fit in there. It’s for charity so I can’t make any jokes about it really.

Smoking Guns vs. Blu Brothers

Blu Brothers were later known as DOA, Creative Control, Harris Brothers and I think the Bruise Brothers. They’re twins so this works really well s it’s easy to get heel heat by just switching. The Cowboys are just flat out boring. They’re ok in the ring but DANG they’re bland.

This is pretty much a tag version of the previous match as no one is interested and it feels like a weak house show match. It’s about 5 minutes long and is just a heel domination leading to the hot tag and the faces hitting the Sidewinder to end it. That’s all there is to it and no one could care less at all.

Rating: D. This was even worse than HHH’s match as it just doesn’t fit on Summerslam at all. It’s a bland match that feels like it belongs at a house show on its best day. Why would someone want to pay for something like this?

Barry Horowitz vs. Skip

This is actually kind of a cool story. Horowitz for those of you that don’t know is one of the biggest jobbers of all time, ranking up there with the Brooklyn Brawler. He hadn’t won a match in years yet somehow kept a job. Anyway, one night he pinned Skip when he wasn’t paying attention. A week later he somehow gets credit for another win after going to a time limit draw. For some reason, that warrants a match here at Summerslam.

Can someone explain to me why this is happening and not maybe a tag title match? It’s the second biggest show of the year, Raw has long since been established as the A show, and In Your House has debuted. Do we really need to give these guys, a relative newcomer and a jobber time on Summerslam, but not the world tag team titles? Sunny is Skip’s manager and I’m convinced she’s an alien. No human could be that hot.

Anyway, they start hot as Barry is wearing suspenders to go with his tights. They’re gone in about 8 seconds so what was the point of them? This is actually a pretty good match with some nice technical stuff. Sunny is sent to the back, causing 75% of male viewers to change the channel. For some reason she doesn’t leave which is a good thing. Candido is impressing me actually. His offense is very crisp and sharp with no botches or anything like that.

He passed away at only 33 and he was already an established veteran so he would certainly still be active today. Skip hits his diving headbutt finisher but pulls him up at the last second which even Lawler says is a bad idea. As he’s doing this, for no apparent reason, Hakushi comes out and distracts Skip. This allows Horowitz to roll him up for the small package while Skip’s hand is very close to Barry’s package.

Rating: B. This was a very good match. The story was fine and the in ring work was very good. There’s no noticeable botches or anything like that and you get an excellent feel good moment. However, I have to ask again: is this more important than a tag title match? Even a squash tag match would be fine, but there’s no need to have these two get 10 minutes plus at Summerslam.

Dean Douglas says that Horowitz didn’t deserve to win.

Todd says that Barry should have won and shows a short clip from the ladder match. Shawn comes in and says he’ll win no matter what.

Women’s Title: Bertha Faye vs. Alundra Blayze

Now THIS is one of the weirdest characters of all time. Weighing in at 230 pounds, Faye was just an ugly fat woman that Harvey Whippleman was in love with. She wore a skirt that showed her underwear and was fat. That’s about it. What was the point or thought behind this character? We’ve been trying to figure that out ever sense. Her song was called Sweet Loving Arms if that tells you anything. They did everything they could to make Blayze a big deal and it just never worked once.

This is a pretty short match which is likely good. Blayze of course knows some martial arts because every diva is skilled with them right? How many women use a kick as a major point of their offense?

Anyway, Alundra (how odd of a name is that anyway?) hits a bunch of kicks and big moves but she can’t beat the big fat chick, leading to the worst sitout powerbomb of all time and as the champion gets her shoulder up at 2, the three comes down and we have a new champion. She and Harvey celebrate in the aisle after the match.

Rating: D+. Oy vey this was bad. Neither was incredibly skilled in this match, which wasn’t fair as both could actually wrestle pretty well. Faye was a comedy character and Blayze would get the belt back in about two months or so. This was a waste of time though and wasn’t entertaining at all.

Recap of Taker vs. Kama, which was a pretty bad feud. Kama, aka the Godfather, stole his urn at Mania and made it into a necklace. He then beat up the creatures of the night, causing this to become a casket match. They did this at an In Your House show as a dark match which wasn’t that good. This has more time and is on a bigger stage, so maybe this is better.

Paul Bearer and Taker say Kama is in trouble.

Casket Match: Kama vs. Undertaker

Kama still works for DiBiase at this point. Hmm Taker in a violent gimmick match in Pittsburgh. Same thing happened later on in the Mankind Cell match. Kama of course isn’t afraid, as no heel has been in forever. Well at least in the beginning this is far better. What this should be is more or less Kozlov vs. Taker, and that’s what we’re getting. Kama is hammering him with big power strikes and Taker is absorbing them.

Kama is showing fear of the coffin so we’re getting inside his head too. This is light years ahead of what we had last month at In Your House. Taker goes to the floor and DiBiase kicks at him, leading to Bearer taking his jacket off to fight Ted. That is something I’d pay to see. Ted having been retired for awhile and likely out of shape vs. Paul Bearer. Oh my goodness that would be funny.

Kama suplexes him onto the closed casket. I can’t imagine a back injury in a casket match with Taker can you? The Rest In Peace chant really is awesome here. This is kind of standard Taker stuff, which means that it’s going just fine. Taker gets beaten down, then makes his comeback.

They both go inside the big wooden box at the same time and Kama crawls out, giving us the dragging him back under visual that Shawn made famous at the 98 Rumble. Eventually it’s tombstone and the dark box for Kama to give Taker the win.

Rating: B-. I was liking this. Kama is the perfect kind of heel to feed to Taker. He’s big and strong with good fighting skills, which makes it easy for Taker to fight him off and look good doing it. This was a long feud for Taker but no one really put much thought into it. All it really was supposed to do was keep him busy until he could move onto something big, which he did as he started feuding with Mable for a few months before moving on to Diesel soon after that.

We hit the recap button on Bret vs. Isaac Yankem, who is just an agent of Lawler to try to fight Bret. Some of the lines by Todd here are great. “Lawler did what he does best: got somebody else to fight his battles for him.” “He went out and got someone else to fight for him. He got a dentist.”

“Yankem was a demented tooth fairy.” You know, for all that Bret and Kane have done for the WWF, this might be their best stuff. Think about it: Kane is a crazed dentist which sounds like a bad horror movie. Wow, See No Evil 2 here we come! Anyway, Bret is the guy that has to fight a crazed dentist. How over the top can you get?

Bret Hart vs. Isaac Yankem

Isaac is from Decatur, Illinois. That just sounds funny to me for some reason. Hart says he’s tired of Lawler, and asks if a chiropractor is next. That made me laugh. No sweet leather jacket for Hart which sucks. This is another good matchup for Hart as he’s against a big guy that he can take down after getting beaten up. That’s a nice thing to get going which always works well. Taker is apparently on the Superstar line. That’s just a funny thing to imagine.

Crowd is WAY into Bret here. This is a pretty good back and forth match for the early part as they hammer on each other with Bret slowly breaking Isaac down but Kane hitting a power move to stop Bret dead in his tracks. Eventually the big guy takes over and works Bret into the ground pretty well. Bret has a sweet counter for this neck pull move that’s hard to describe. Basically Bret back flips out of it. It’s really cool looking.

The referee grabs Isaac by the hair and pulls him away which is just not smart. It makes the wrestler look bad because a referee is manhandling them and it’s just not professional. You can hear that Vince is seriously pissed off over it. Yep he’s fired. Anyway, this is mainly over the kiss my foot match that Lawler and Hart had where Lawler had to kiss not only Bret’s foot but his own.

He says it was like kissing a hog with halitosis, which is horrible. Also, Lawler sells sea shells by the seashore for six cents on Saturdays. They’re on the floor for awhile which is just more time for Hart to get beaten up as Isaac looks good. Kane even does a very short walk of the top rope to land a leg drop to the back of Bret’s head as he was hanging over the top rope.

DAng why hasn’t he done that since? Wow has Kane really been in the WWF nearly 15 years? That’s almost hard to believe if you think about it. Finally Hart has had ENOUGH and throws a suicide dive and beats the heck out of Isaac. Sharpshooter leads to Lawler helping Isaac get out which he more or less had to do. He’s now a manager instead of a commentator so Vince is on his own.

Oh this isn’t going to go well. Brea beats on him for a bit, drawing a mad pop from the crowd, but allowing Kane to hit a double axe from the top to save the King. Lawler eventually grabs Bret’s foot and tries to pull him out as Isaac helps him. This causes the referee to FINALLY DQ them after counting to six. They hang Bret between the top and middle ropes and pull on him which has to hurt badly.

Instead of just going in reverse of what got Bret in that position, the suits that run down decide to shove Bret’s head through the ropes, hurting him even worse. Did they not pay attention to Foley losing an ear in a similar thing? Oh he’s fine though. Being this close to Canada gives Bret his super human powers. It’s kind of like the sun with Superman, but Bret could take him in Canada.

Rating: B-. This was pretty good, but it was in essence a handicap match. While that’s all well and good, this should have been Bret vs. Lawler for one big and final blowoff match, maybe in a cage. Yeah I think that would have worked just fine. Kane was a good enough choice, but the focus was more on Lawler, which hurt things a bit. Either way, the stuff in the ring was very good and this was a solid 15 or so minute match.

IC Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon

No transition here or anything at all other than the Razor promo. It’s the rematch of the ladder match. It doesn’t need much of an explanation so there we go. Shawn climbs the ladder in the aisle to stare down Razor which is a semi-famous image, or at least it was back then. Vince telling someone to get down is just wrong on so many levels.

They raise up the belt which is something you don’t often see. Doc Hendrix jumps in on commentary. Vince says that you would have to be Andre the Giant with a jetpack to reach the belt. Or you could just get a ladder but who am I to argue. Doc offers up a surprising stat: only once in Summerslam history up to that point, in 1993, did the IC Title not change hands. Hey he’s good for something.

Shawn says lift it up and there’s the bell. They slug it out to start and both guys escape finishers. Shawn is knocked to the floor and then stops Razor from getting the ladder. Why? Shawn has to bring it back also doesn’t he? Razor blocks Shawn’s suplex and suplexes him to the floor. I love that move. Not sure why but I always have. Either that or it just sounds good and I’m trying to fill in space.

Both finishers miss again and we get a double clothesline to give them a breather. Razor gets to the ladder which is enough for Vince to say he’ll win. Sid, the guy that gets the winner, is watching in the back. Shawn gets the ladder and control but it’s not like the match is ending anytime soon so the drama isn’t there at all.

Down goes the ladder and Shawn and he might have hurt his knee. Oh that’s funny. Shawn’s knee never gets hurt. The fans aren’t sure if they like what Razor is doing here or not. Shawn is more or less dead and falls as Razor tries to send him into the ladder. This is a much more psychological based match than before but they have some experience this time so that might have something to do with it.

Razor has been dominating for a good while here. No attempt at going for the belt yet though which doesn’t really surprise me. Lots of leg work which is logical. Shawn manages to send Razor to the floor but another knee shot takes away any kind of advantage Shawn may have gotten. Razor is wrestling heel here and it’s working pretty well. Granted that’s his natural style so it’s easy for him.

He goes up but Shawn literally makes a diving save to send him down. Doc declares this the greatest match he’s ever seen. It’s good but seriously, the best you’ve ever seen? That might be a stretch dude. Then again given how many drugs he probably did this might be the only match he can remember seeing. Shawn suplexes Razor off the ladder and everyone is down.

Razor eats ladder in the corner and Shawn takes over. Shawn goes up and hits a moonsault press. It kind of misses but it was close enough to still look ok. A splash from the top of the ladder misses and everyone is down. They slug it out on dop of the ladder and a headbutt from Razor sends both guys flying down. Doc says Ted and Sid have to be dancing in the streets. Or they could be watching in the bac on a monitor but same thing I guess.

Shawn charges with the ladder but goes through the ropes to the floor. Razor is like screw this and gets a second ladder. He finally gets the Edge off the ladder and both guys are down again. If there’s one criticism here it’s that they’re staying down for too many long stretches of time. Granted I can totally understand them needing a break.

Vince wants to know which one is the legal ladder. Is there a ladder checking team that I’m not aware of? Both guys climb up a ladder at the same time and Shawn gets more or less Sweet Chin Music to knock Razor off. And then like an IDIOT he jumps at the belt and misses completely, crashing down onto the mat. Shawn sends him to the floor and climbs again, getting his hands on the belt but just not grabbing it. He goes up again and gets it so I’d think the second one was just a slip or something.

Rating: B+. While not as good as their initial match, this is indeed an excellent one. The problem here is simple: how do you follow the greatest gimmick match of all time to that point, especially with the same two guys in it? Every spot you can look at and say it was better the first time or that wasn’t as good as the one you did last year.

That’s the issue they’re facing here, so while this is good, by comparison it just isn’t as solid of a match, which can mainly be attributed to the expectations they had coming into this match I think.

In the back Dean Douglas has a few choice words to say about the “Bad Guy”. This leads to Ramon coming in and beating him up, kickstarting their feud which would actually be Ramon’s last in the company before heading to WCW.

\WWF Title: Diesel vs. Mabel

Please help me get through this. Mabel won the KOTR because Vince got really high one night and decided he wanted to see how well he could screw up Summerslam, so he gives us this. Let’s see, how many other options were there that are better than this? Maybe every single person on the roster? Are you telling me you couldn’t have thrown someone like Owen Hart maybe in there? He would have at least given a decent match.

The problem here is simple: Mabel is too freaking fat for Diesel to muscle around like he’s always done, and it’s going to throw Diesel off his game. Therefore, you have a champion off his game and a big man that can’t do crap. Does this sound like a good equation to anyone at all? Mabel comes to the ring as KOTR with Sir Mo. Oh yes I can see the greatness so clearly here. Vince talks about how Bulldog and Luger are here.

Ooh, why did we not have either of those as a good main event? Oh I remember. We had to use that at In Your House instead of here where it would actually matter. Luger of course would be back in WCW 8 freaking days later after infamously having been in WWF one night and debuting for WCW the next night on the debut episode of Nitro, which when you think about it is absolutely brilliant and an amazing move.

Mabel looks like an idiot with that crown. In case you can’t tell, I hate this freaking match. We keep hearing about the royal plan. Oh yes, Mabel is clearly an evil genius. Give me a break Vince. Mabel starts on offense and Diesel gets beaten up. Soon thereafter we switch that up and put Mabel on offense as I have my family hide all sharp or blunt objects to keep me from hurting myself.

Shockingly enough, Diesel can’t do much other than punch and clothesline him, mainly because it’s the only offense he can use without getting a hernia. Oh yeah, Mabel is wearing his shiny purple and gold ensemble here. Mable eventually gets back in control and as I was waiting on, he sits on Diesel. He puts his hands on Nash’s face but doesn’t pull back, yet somehow it’s called a chinlock.

This goes on for EIGHTY FOUR SECONDS. Yes, I get that Mable needs a rest in there as after 5 minutes someone of his gravitational pull would get tired. HOWEVER, a minute and a half is WAY too much to have a fat guy sitting on his opponent. That’s all he’s doing: high impact sitting. Moe comes in of course and gets beaten up. Apparently this is the great and mighty royal plan: get your manager/tag partner/fellow homeless guy to beat on Diesel.

Oh my lord my feeble brain can’t comprehend such intricate and complex thoughts! Luger runs in for the save as I think the referee has sought out psychiatric help after having to stand out there and put up with this nonsense for ten minutes. Oh wait here’s part 2 of the plan: a leg drop on the floor! Luger beats up Moe, proving that he’s indeed smarter than a 5th grader.

The referee returns from rehab long enough to count a two on Diesel. Mabel jumps off the second rope in his attempt to change the rotation of the Earth but misses a splash. This combined with what’s called a clothesline from the second rope but is more Diesel jumping on Mable lead to the slowest count of all time and a succ…..a succ… I’m sorry but there was nothing successful about this match at all. Diesel keeps the belt let’s go with that. He poses with the belt to close us out.

Rating: F+. Do I really need to explain this one any further? I hate this match and I hate Nelson Frazier, who is easily one of the worst “wrestlers” of all time in my eyes.

Overall Rating: F. This was a hard one for me, but overall the good moments of this show just can’t get out from underneath the epicness of the nonsense on the card. Hakushi/Kid and Horowitz/Skip are actually quite good matches. I was impressed with them. However, there is no way you can justify having those two plus HHH and the Guns’ squashes all be on this show.

You have a 9 match card and I could see at the very most, four belonging on a major show: the opener because you simply need a hot opener to set the stage which that one certainly meets the requirements for, the Hart/Isaac match, Taker and Kama, and the ladder match. Of the two in the middle, they could have easily been altered to put Hart and Lawler together. The second and third matches are just wastes of time, plain and simple.

The HHH match I can kind of see the point in as it gives an up and coming star a PPV match to get himself over. I can almost come to validate that one, but not by much. The Guns’ match however has no business on a PPV, none. The next match was one of the best in ring matches of the night, but I ask again: WHY IS BARRY HOROWITZ WRESTLING AT SUMMERSLAM???

Women’s match was bad but since it’s a title match it can be justified I suppose, and then the main event I’ve already vented on. I’m sorry, but an opener, a ladder match that’s an inferior version of a match from a year and a half ago and two above average midcard matches simply are not enough to sell a PPV for me.

This show is just a flat out failure. It has its moments and would have been passable as a much lower level show, but this is unacceptable as the second biggest show of the year, which is saying how bad WWF was at this time when you had this and Mania 11, perhaps the worst of all time, as your big shows. This was horrible.

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Summerslam 1994
Date: August 29, 1994
Location: United Center, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 23,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We open with highlights of the WWF softball team (that exists?) playing in a charity game against the Chicago media. Shawn of course plays without a shirt on. The video goes on for like five minutes with Monsoon doing commentary through every inning. Randy Savage, a former professional baseball player, hit a three run home run. The WWF won 9-7.

On to the actual wrestling tonight with Macho Man as Master of Ceremonies again. As Savage is posing in the ring, Lawler tells us that Diesel (currently Intercontinental Champion) and Shawn won the tag titles from the Headshrinkers last night in Indianapolis.

Headshrinkers vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/I.R.S.

The Million Dollar Team takes over on Fatu but a double clothesline puts he and Bigelow down. A double tag brings in Samu to face IRS as things break down a bit. A middle rope headbutt gets two on IRS and Bigelow is clotheslined out to the floor. IRS takes a double Stroke and Fatu adds the top rope splash but DiBiase has the referee. Bigelow goes after Albano which draws in Afa for the DQ.

Everyone brawls up the aisle.

We now get to the white elephant of the show: Leslie Nielsen and his partner from the Naked Gun movies is here to solve the mystery of the Undertaker. See, Undertaker had disappeared after the Royal Rumble but had vowed to return. DiBiase had a fake Undertaker doing his bidding but the real one was supposed to return tonight.

Nakano, the challenger, is a Japanese monster and has Luna Vachon in her corner. A quick clothesline and a hair drag put Blayze down as Nakano looks strong early. We hit a chinlock less than two minutes in but Blayze gets her feet on the ropes. A spin kick puts Nakano down for a few seconds but she comes back with a choke to take over again. Off to a modified Boston Crab as Nakano is destroying the champion so far.

Rating: C. This was an interesting match but it was hard to get into at times. Nakano was a monster who destroyed Blayze for about eight minutes and then Alundra got a quick suplex for the pin in fifteen seconds. Bull would win the title in a few months in Japan in a near masterpiece.

Shawn and Diesel brag about winning the tag titles but say Diesel will have no problem with Razor Ramon tonight. This is right around the time where the Kliq had taken over backstage and were basically running the company, hence them dominating the title scene.

Intercontinental Title: Diesel vs. Razor Ramon

The extra big man puts the big man in a sleeper but Razor comes out of it with a belly to back suplex. Diesel comes right back by launching Razor out to the floor, allowing Shawn to untie a buckle pad. Payton finally goes after Shawn but the distraction lets Shawn clothesline Razor down. Back in again and the champion hits his elbows and knee lifts in the corner but the referee stands in front of the exposed buckle. The referee looks at Shawn like an idiot, allowing Diesel to whip Ramon into the buckle for two.

Snake Eyes onto a covered buckle puts Ramon down again and an elbow to the back gets two. We hit the chinlock with a knee in the back and a comeback attempt is countered by a boot to the face. Diesel hooks an abdominal stretch but eventually gets caught holding the top rope. Razor puts on an abdominal stretch of his own, only to be hiptossed down onto his bad back. Snake Eyes onto the exposed buckle is countered into a rollup for two and Razor starts coming back with right hands.

The middle rope bulldog gets two on Diesel as the fans are getting louder and louder. The Jackknife is countered but Diesel suplexes him down before Razor can follow up. Shawn tries to bring in the belt but gets caught in a tug of war with Payton. The referee yells at Payton so Shawn tries a superkick but of course hits the champion. Payton pulls Shawn out and Ramon pins the out cold Diesel for the title.

Diesel rants about Shawn screwing up and blames him for the loss.

Lex Luger vs. Tatanka

Jeff Jarrett vs. Mabel

Rating: D-. This was very dull as Jarrett had nothing to work with at all. Mabel was just so huge that it was almost impossible for anyone to do anything against him. Unfortunately for us Mabel would be pushed down our throats the next year, somehow main eventing the 1995 edition of the show. The match sucked.

The detectives are in the aisle, Undertaker pops up behind them, neither sees him, more PPV time is wasted.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

The champion makes another save before climbing up to the top of the cage, straddling the top of it. Owen pulls him back in and they continue slugging it out on the top rope. Bret rams him into the cage wall but loses his balance in the process, putting both guys back down. Jim Neidhart and Davey Boy Smith, both brothers in law of the two in the ring, are watching in the crowd.

Owen is up first but Bret makes about his 49^th save of the match. Bret rams him face first into the steel and goes up again but Owen reaches through the bars to bring him back in. Back in again and Owen plants the champion with a piledriver but Bret still makes a save. Owen throws Bret down off the cage but Owen falls as well. Bret crawls for the door and gets the upper half of his body out, only to be pulled back in again by his younger brother. The drama on these near escapes is getting higher and higher.

Post match Neidhart jumps Davey Boy, throws Bret back in and locks himself in with them. A huge beatdown of Bret ensues as the Hart Brothers try to get in the cage. Davey Boy FINALLY gets in and the other brothers follow to save Bret.

In the back Owen says Neidhart is his real family. A series of great tag matches followed.

We recap the Undertaker disappearing at the Royal Rumble. 9 guys beat him up and locked him in a casket but his “spirit” levitated out of the casket, swearing to return. We get a bunch of people saying they had seen Undertaker in delis and coffee shops but DiBiase said he would bring Undertaker back.

Undertaker vs. Undertaker

Real misses a charge and falls to the floor where Fake sends him into the steps. Back in and Real wins a slugout but walks into a good chokeslam for no cover. Fake Tombstones him down but takes too long to cover, allowing for the sit up. A second Tombstone is countered into the Real one, followed by two more for the pin.

Ratings Comparison

IRS/Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Headshrinkers

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Alundra Blayze vs. Bull Nakano

Original: D+

Redo: C

Razor Ramon vs. Diesel

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Lex Luger vs. Tatanka

Original: C-

Redo: D

Jeff Jarrett vs. Mabel

Original: D-

Redo: D-

Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

Original: A

Redo: A+

Undertaker vs. Undertaker

Original: B

Redo: F

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D+

…http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/28/history-of-summerslam-count-up-summerslam-1994-from-great-matches-to-leslie-nielsen/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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